#been trying to colorize this and been deeply unhappy so. here ya go

[marstyler42]

Isn't that worth holding on?

[terrm9]

Everywhere I Go (Ethan X MC)

Words count: 3 800

Warnings: none? I feel like this is absolutely harmless but if you find something worth warning, let me know please

Few weeks after making their relationship public, Ethan decides to take Chiara with him to Providence.

Set few weeks after the gala, so in the first half of Chapter 18 I guess?

Author’s note: This follows the Count Me In fic, so for the better experience, I recommend to read that first. However, if you don’t want to, it is readable as a one shot too. I love Alan Ramsey and I just want him to be happy okay? I kind of broke my own heart while thinking about how unfair life is towards him

“And that’s why my sister is not talking to me now,” Bryce ended his speech with his typical wide grin, shrugging carelessly as he finished eating his fries.

Both, Chiara and Elijah burst out into loud laugh, attracting the attention of every other person in the cafeteria. The story itself wouldn’t be that funny, however the way Bryce didn’t hesitate to give them a detailed description of Keiki’s face expressions caused happy tears to fall from Chiara’s eyes, as she couldn’t contain her giggles.

“Oh crap,” Chiara muttered when her ringing phone interrupted the cheerful atmosphere at the table. “It’s Ethan.”

“Calling as a doctor or as a booooyfriend?” Bryce teased her, gaining an eye roll from Chiara in return.

Before she picked her phone up, she checked her pager, making sure that Ethan didn’t try to get her attention through it without her noticing. It was greatly uncommon for him to call her while they were both working, especially when calling her meant talking about not-work-related topics.

“Hello?” she picked up at last, confusion audible in her voice.

“Rookie,” she could see Ethan nod at the other side of the line as he spoke. “Where are you? I wanted to talk to you.”

“Uhm, I am having lunch in the cafeteria with the boys. Why? Do you need me for something? You could’ve paged me.”

“It’s not about work. Just wait for me, okay? I’ll be there in five minutes.”

Without giving her a chance to ask more questions or even respond with an ‘okay’, Ethan hung up, leaving her terribly worried about his reasons to call her.

No matter how urgent their private issues seemed, they always managed to bring them home with them, to talk about it after their shifts. When they were at work, they were working. It was that simple for them, a rule that has hardly ever been broken.

“He called as a boyfriend,” she spoke finally, noticing how both, Bryce and Elijah were looking at her with their eyebrows raised. “He will stop by.”

Just as she said that, the door to the cafeteria opened and Ethan stopped just for a second, searching the room with his eyes for a sign of the young redhead he needed to see. Against his better judgement, he smiled as he finally spotted her, cheeks flushed from the laugh she has just had several minutes ago.

Chiara noticed how some residents and even one attending stared as Ethan crossed the room, obviously ignoring the fact that he was about to sit next to the woman he kissed at the gala few weeks ago. They stared with hearts in their eyes and wishful smiles at their faces and even if it was embarrassing to admit, Chiara knew that their expressions mirrored her own.

“Chiara I think you might be drooling,” Bryce whispered, causing Elijah to laugh loudly for the second time in ten minutes.

“Hey,” Ethan smiled softly at her as he sat down next to her and then nodded in boys’ direction. “Bryce, Elijah.”

“Well helloooo, my fav buddy,” Bryce grinned and patted Ethan’s shoulder enthusiastically. “How ya doin’?”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Ethan muttered: “Lahela stop please”, while Chiara laughed, shaking her head.

“What has gotten into you today, Bryce? Do you need to replace a single ‘o’ with several annoying ‘oooo’s’ in every word?”

Shrugging carelessly again, Bryce opened his mouth to respond, but before he could say anything, Elijah put his arm on Bryce’s shoulder and gestured towards the door.

“I think we should go before you extend the list of people not talking to you.”

Even though unhappy with the suggestion, Bryce agreed and a minute later, Chiara and Ethan were left alone to discuss whatever Ethan came to discuss.

“So? What is bothering you?” Chiara asked openly.

“Nothing is bothering me,” Ethan replied, not quite looking at her, instead reaching for her hand on the table, interlacing their fingers together.

Chiara was aware of people observing them and of the fact that such gesture of affection would cause yet another wave of gossips in the hospital.

Ethan couldn’t care less about what would people say at this point. Ever since their kiss, people were talking about them and it didn’t really matter what Chiara and Ethan did or didn’t do.

They were holding hands now and so people would talk about Dr. Do-Not-Talk-To-Me being whipped. If they didn’t hold their hands, people would talk about troubles in paradise because ‘they didn’t even touch while talking’.

“I am going to visit my father in Providence this weekend.”

“Oh,” Chiara opened her mouth, not quite believing that he would look for her only to tell her that he would be gone for the weekend. “That’s great! It’s been some time since you last visited Providence, right? Two days out of Boston and with your dad, it will be good for you.”

“The thing is,” Ethan spoke, scratching the back of his neck nervously. “You have a free weekend and-“

“I think I do, let me check,” Chiara interrupted him, reaching for her phone to check her calendar.

“You do, I already checked.”

Or rather, I made sure that you would have a free weekend.

“However, I wanted to ask you if, by any chance, you would want to go to Providence with me? I mean, I survived the brunch thing with your friends and now I would like to introduce you to dad.”

“I have already met your father, Ethan,” Chiara laughed softly. “Several times.”

“Yes, but that was different. I would like to, well, introduce you as a… woman I am dating.”

His cheeks were deeply flushed at this point, his hands gently squeezing her in steady rhythm, trying to calm his own nerves down.

“I would like that very much,” she smiled at him. “Is your dad going to roast me the way my friends roasted you?”

Ethan laughed, truly and openly laughed and replied: “God I hope so.”

With a quick kiss on the top of  Chiara’s head, he stood up as his pager went off, leaving her to finish her lunch with a smile on her lips.

˜

“Your dad know that I am coming with you, right?” Chiara asked nervously as she stepped out of Ethan’s car, looking at the house in front of her. It was painted in a light blue color, the bushes surrounding a path leading to the front door precisely trimmed.

“Of course. He texted me in the morning, saying that they were both looking forward to seeing you.”

“Both? Both who?” Chiara turned on her heels, her eyes wide with shock. Surely Louise wouldn’t be here today, would she? Her time in the rehab clinic wasn’t over yet.

“Dad and Jenner,” Ethan replied flatly, getting their bags out of the trunk.

A very audible sigh of relief left Chiara’s mouth at that, her mind instantly calming down at the picture of Ethan’s – or more Alan’s – dog. It would be their first meeting and Chiara was equally nervous about meeting Alan as Ethan’s girlfriend and meeting Jenner, knowing rather well that Jenner’s opinion mattered to Ethan more than opinions of most people.

Locking his car, Ethan took Chiara’s hand and led her to the front door, smiling down at her, all the tension that collected in his body for the past few weeks seemingly gone.

Ethan didn’t resemble the Dr. Ramsey at all at this moment, his form relaxed as he knocked on the door, quietly humming one of Frank Sinatra’s songs they listened to on their way here.

“Chiara, Ethan!” Alan smiled widely as he opened the door, letting them both come in. Before he could as much as hug Ethan, the ball of brown fur sprinted through the hall and as soon as Jenner spotted Ethan, he put both his front paws on Ethan’s torso, barking excitedly.

Chiara shook Alan’s hand and he kissed both her cheeks politely. “Lunch is almost ready,” he smiled and led her to the sunny living room, granting Ethan some time to catch up with his best friend.

Seated in a comfortable armchair, Chiara took her surrounding in while Alan left to the kitchen to make them a coffee. The room wasn’t big, the huge window dominating as it provided both, light coming into the room and a beautiful view to the garden.

Before Chiara could examine the photos on the top of fireplace, both Jenner and Ethan came to the room and it was her time to impress the dog.

“Hello there,” she smiled as she kneeled down, letting Jenner to sniff and then lick her palm. “What a good boy do we have here, hmmm? Yes, it’s you, of course it’s you.”

All the tension was gone at that point, Jenner happily licking not only her hands but also her neck and her face, Chiara laughing and rubbing his belly happily while Ethan stood by the fireplace, his arms crossed, smiling affectionately at the scene in front of him.

Seeing that his presence was no longer recognized, Ethan decided to help his dad to finish the lunch, hoping that maybe in their moment of privacy, he could make sure that there would be no embarrassing stories about his childhood shared today.

˜

It was all for nothing.

As soon as they finished eating and moved back to the living room to have their afternoon tea, Alan grinned at the two young doctors seated on the couch next to each other, Ethan’s arm casually hugging Chiara’s shoulders.

“So… dating, huh? How long?”

Ethan blushed and cleared his throat, thinking about the right answer. “Few weeks,” he replied after all.

“And unofficially?”

Chiara laughed at the question, the fact that Alan indeed knew his son both surprising and delighting her. Not wanting to make Ethan angry or uncomfortable, she decided not to answer that.

“Few weeks,” Ethan repeated, although it was obvious that not a single person in the room believed that. “The gala I’ve been telling you about the other day? That would be it.”

The mention of gala served them well, giving them a chance to talk about hospital for a long time, about the fact that it wouldn’t be saved anyway, about their work at free clinic.

They both intentionally avoided talking about the future, about what would happen when Edenbrook closes for real. Alan was polite enough not to ask.

Chiara was nervously waiting for Alan to start asking questions. After the trick her friends pulled on Ethan, she deserved to be interrogated by him. She was dating a respected doctor, famous diagnostician and a rich man after all. It was rather natural for his parents – well, his father – to make sure that she wasn’t using him.

I just need to be honest and everything will be fine.

The interrogation never came. Instead, when it looked like it would come, Alan asked her the question she hoped to hear.

“So, Chiara. I doubt Ethan has told you much about his childhood. Do you want to hear the stories of troublemaker Ethan? I have my two favorites.”

“Dad, you have to be kidding me,” Ethan muttered, squinting his eyes on the older man.

Next to him, Chiara jumped on the couch of excitement, nodding. “Yes, please. Tell me anything embarrassing. Anything. He like to pretend that such moments never happened in his life.”

“Do you remember our fish, Ethan?” Alan smiled mischievously at his son and from Ethan’s expression, he knew exactly what was about to come.

“I was six!” he exclaimed, crossing his arms at his chest.

“My brother came to visit us one summer,” Alan turned to Chiara, ignoring Ethan’s remarks about betrayal. “He used to smoke a lot back then, however me or Louise weren’t smoking and so there was no ashtray in this whole house. I found an old mason jar and gave it to him, so that he could use that instead. We didn’t throw the whole mason jar away the moment he left the house and Ethan took his chance. At the time, we had this huge aquarium here in the living room, full of fish. There were, like, fifty fish in it and as a six-year-old, we let Ethan feed them so that he would learn about being responsible. One day, I got back from work and almost all of the fish were dead. Really, maybe seven or eight survived. And I was so shocked because it’s not common thing to happen and I asked Ethan if he fed them that day and without a second thought, he said that he did feed them with the ash Uncle Thomas left here, because he wanted to see how they would react. I still remember him saying ‘It’s a pity they died. But at least we are left with the strongest ones now.’”

“He didn’t do that,” Chiara laughed and turned to Ethan, waiting for his reaction. The shrug of his shoulders confirming that the story she just heard was right. “Well, some things never change. Your strategy with interns is pretty similar.”

“Yet, here you are. That makes you one of the strongest ones, you know.”

She smiled at him softly, knowingly and turned back to Alan, greedy for more.

“My absolutely favorite is the one about Perrie McKingsley.”

Ethan’s eyes widened once again and he shook his head abruptly, looking at his father. “Dad, really, that won’t be necessary.”

“Okay now I have to hear it,” Chiara grinned wickedly.

“He was ten or eleven at the time, I can’t quite remember. It was my grandmother’s death anniversary and even though, as great-grandmother to Ethan, she wasn’t a big part of his life, he always agreed to go to the cemetery with me at the anniversary. That year was no exception and so we bought this beautiful bouquet and put it on the grave. Little did I know that the next day was Perrie McKingsley’s birthday – she was Ethan’s classmate and his first crush. Very nice girl indeed. Ethan wanted to impress her but was too shy to talk to me about it, about what he could give her as a present and so he came up with a genius idea. That morning, he left the house early and stopped at the cemetery on his way to school. He took the flowers we put on the grave the day before and gave them to the poor girl. He would never tell the truth, but I met Perrie’s mother two days after that and she told me how thoughtful it was of Ethan to get Perrie such beautiful bouquet.”

Chiara had to cover her mouth with her hand to tame all the loud sounds leaving it when Alan finished the story. Tears streaming down her face, she had troubles catching her breath between the laughing.

“Who would believe that you were such a gentleman, Ramsey,” she spoke finally when she calmed down. “The girl was very lucky.”

“I am glad you are having fun, Rookie,” Ethan said dryly, trying his hardest to maintain his poker face, even though the truth was that seeing his Chiara this happy and free of worries, laughing with his father while petting Jenner, it was a picture he wished to remember forever.

˜

The rest of the day was filled with small talks about Alan’s work and Jenner, about Chiara’s life back in San Francisco. Alan showed her all of Ethan’s photos, from the cute baby ones to the pretty awkward high school ones.

Ethan pretended to be annoyed by the fact that his dad and Chiara became such a good friends, finding their entertainment in Ethan’s suffering, however every time they were not looking, he was smiling like a fool, his chest full of this unfamiliar warm feeling.

He was asleep in his old room now and as much as Chiara tried to rest too, the sleep wouldn’t come to her.

She decided to get a water in the kitchen and give it another try later.

As she stepped downstairs, she was startled by the light coming out of the living room – it was past midnight.

“Chiara,” Alan smiled at her from the couch, the bottle of beer in his hand as he stared into the fire. “Troubles sleeping?”

She nodded and took a seat next to him, the water long forgotten.

“I was just thinking about Ethan,” Alan broke the silence, turning his eyes to her.

They were the same color as his son’s, the blue darker than the bright sky but brighter than the stormy one. His gaze was as intense too, as if he could see straight into her head, getting his answers without needing to ask questions.

The only difference was that his eyes were surrounded by happy wrinkles, the ones a person only gets when they smile too often.

Ethan’s wrinkled weren’t permanent around the corners of his eyes. He didn’t smile often enough. His signature wrinkles were the ones between his brows, the ones a person only gets when they worry too much.

“I am glad he’s found you, Chiara. I have never seen him so content. So in love.”

Chiara froze at his words. She froze at the ease he said them with.

“Oh, he’s… he’s not in love,” she laughed nervously. “He doesn’t believe in such things.”

“You are the first girl he has ever brought home with him,” Alan grinned. “Surely that speaks for itself.”

Shock overtaking her, Chiara forgot to close her mouth for a long moment.

“You are kidding. He is almost forty, I can’t be the first one.”

Alan laughed at her statement whole-heartedly, the sound so common for him and so rare to hear from his son.

“You are. And I know what he says, about me not really knowing him, but he is still my kid and I can assure you, he is so in love.” Alan took a deep breath, sipping his bear for a long moment. “The girl I was telling you about today, Perrie? She was his first crush, his first love, the first girl that made him blush when he spoke to her. The first to bring those ‘in-love’ sparks into his eyes. He was ten, a kid. The same kid he was at eleven, when Louise left. He’s never really gotten over that, over her leaving us and I don’t blame him. He was just a kid. The first time I have seen those sparks in his eyes, he was ten. The last time I have seen them, he was eleven. He was just a kid, he was just my baby son, when all those adult things happened to him and I blamed myself for so long that I couldn’t protect him from that hurt.”

Alan’s voice shook and he took another sip of his drink, steading himself so that he could finish his speech.

For the past twenty-six years, he has never said these words to anyone.

“I stopped believing that those would ever return. All the way through the high school, Ethan never even mentioned a girl. He avoided women, he didn’t trust them and who was I to change his mind? It was my wife leaving us after all. And then, in his med school he let it slip that there was a certain girl he was seeing, but talking about her didn’t bring those sparks into his eyes. He was twenty-three and he was less in love than a ten-year-old Ethan. There was something there when he told me about you for the first time, last year. His Rookie. I could see how his face lit up at the mention of you, how his lips turned up so slightly anyone but his father would miss it."

"He probably never mentioned it, but I was with Ethan two days before the gala and when he said that you two would go together to represent your team, that was when I saw those sparks again, Chiara. After twenty-seven years, I have seen my son’s eyes light up with the force only love could produce.”

Chiara was smiling and at the same time, she felt like crying.

Crying for a man Ethan could be, hadn’t he been broken.

Crying for Alan, losing his wife and his happy little boy at the same day.

“Ethan can be difficult, I know. But please, as his father and as a person who loves him more than he has ever loved anyone or anything, I beg you to be patient with him when things get difficult. Because you are the only person I have ever believed could make Ethan truly and unconditionally happy again.”

Chiara nodded, tears spilling down on her cheeks now and before she could do anything, Alan was hugging her.

“Goodnight, Chiara,” he smiled as he broke the hug. After wishing him a goodnight too, Chiara got back into the room Ethan was sleeping in and tried to get into the bed as quietly as possible.

“I am not sleeping,” Ethan muttered, turning to his side so that he could face her. With his curls disheveled around his head and sleepy eyes, he looked so much younger it almost surprised Chiara. “I’ve heard voices from downstairs.”

“Yes, I’ve been talking to your dad,” she whispered softly, deciding whether she should tell him the truth or not. Almost immediately, she decided to keep her conversation with Alan to herself. “There were many more embarrassing stories to be told, you know.”

“I don’t get how, no matter who we are with, I end up to be the embarrassed one. All the time. I was thinking about inviting Naveen over for dinner later this week, but I am strongly reconsidering now.”

“Oh my God, yes, that’s totally happening. Awkward intern Ethan, that would be my new favorite thing.”

“I have never been an awkward intern.”

“I think Naveen will be the judge of that,” she smirked, rolling Ethan on his back so that she could straddle him. He groaned at the idea of Naveen telling Chiara yet another story about his past. “Well, it’s not my fault that you are so embarrassable, Ethan.”

“That’s not even a word, Ray.”

“Uhm, it just left my mouth, so I guess it is now. I will text Naveen myself in the morning.”

She leaned down to kiss him, his hot body and soft lips making her mind race into dangerous territory.

“Don’t worry, once we visit my mom and sister, you will be satisfied. I bet Alicia has already my TOP 5 awkward moments written and ready to be shared,” she murmured between the kissed.

Ethan chuckled at that and biting her earlobe softly, he whispered: “I am booking the tickets to San Francisco right now.”

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[neostriatum]

Eighth Rising

[AO3]

The sea was loud, and her thoughts louder.

七転び八起き - Nana korobi ya oki. Translation: Fall down seven times, get up eight English equivalent: If at first you don't succeed try, try again.

--

Waves lapped against the rocks, an incessant rocking that slapped against the shore and made her fingers twitch in irritation. Its turbulence did not match her own; thoughts, memories – they fell upon each other in a cacophonous jumble that was at odds with the steady beat of the sea.

She wanted to turn away from the water, and its mocking stability, but that would mean facing the Avatar, and the calm, gently flickering light of his qi. Azula fixed her gaze upon the white-capped waves, inhaling deeply and pressing shorn fingernails into the fine cloth her jailers had graciously provided her.

It was difficult to not fall into meditation, lulled by the banked fires of the Avatar’s spirit. Between- between Aang, and the sea’s own unfathomable potential, the snarls of her qi smoothed, tugging her shoulders into relaxation. Azula gusted a sigh, listening to the rustle of homespun robes settle beside her.

They shared quiet minutes, air filled with sea-spray and rhythmic breathing – Azula had been standing there long enough for salt to limn the edges of her hair, haphazardly regrown in the long months since her coronation ceremony. Her fingers twitched once more, unfolding into a loose curl. The Avatar was calming, in his own way, flight-staff leaned against his shoulder with its oiled wood gleaming in the corner of her eye.

He did not speak, something for which she was grateful, and she filled the air between them with a rusty exhale. Azula stared out to where the sea met the sky, ignoring how the sun’s creeping descent made her eyes water with the strain.

“Why are you here?”

“You.”

Azula laughed, less bitter and more resigned. “To take me back?”

She turned to see him shrug, saffron robes fluttering with the movement – ever the airbender, despite the past lives that sometimes roared with the ephemeral echoes of their own, combined qi. Aang had his own strength, to resist his past, despite how he had led the wildfire that scorched her livelihood.

He gave her a measured gaze, one hand loose around his staff, beguiling for how he pretended to need its support. “I’m not sure,” Aang replied, tilting his head, “Do you want me to?”

That earned him a smirk. It wasn’t as sharp, as filled with the heady feeling of her past status as Princess Regent, but enough to make the Avatar’s grip stiffen upon the flight-staff. The impassiveness didn’t fool her, but it was gratifying to know that she still presented as a threat.

“No,” Azula replied, turning back to the sea, making the dully-glittering salt crackle with the movement.

A sigh was her reply, “I want to help you.”

“Like you helped my father?”

A flicker of qi, before it bloomed into something stronger. Aang’s determination was reflected in his tone, “I’m sorry about your mom.”

Azula jerked, “She’s not dead.”

Grass-muffled steps, and then a hand on her shoulder, tentatively-put. Her acquiescence made the touch warmer, a solid weight that betrayed how insubstantial she had become. “Azula,” he said, speaking slowly – as if he were choosing his words carefully, “You still lost her. And she still hurt you.”

She clenched her hands, turning to glare at him. Aang remained undeterred, shifting so his hand was still companionably – comfortingly – on her shoulder. The temptation to shrug him off, to march away and hide the burning of her face, softened at the genuine, if foreign, compassion in his expression. Nails digging into the meat of her palm, Azula waited for him to continue.

The hand at her shoulder squeezed lightly in recognition, “You have every right to be upset at her. But- you don’t have to be upset alone.”

Azula stared at him. Echoes of her past lessons reared their heads, straightening her back into steely posture out of old, old habit. Words wanted to clatter their way into the empty space between them – fill it up with something sharp, and commanding. And lonely, she didn’t want to admit, but power was often isolating.

That was a lesson she knew very well.

Feeling the warmth of the Avatar’s qi buffeting Ozai’s teachings, something kind yet unrelenting, prickled the edges of those scars. She frowned, lips a thin, disapproving slash of salt-scalded red. First Mother…

It wasn’t, she abruptly decided, fair. “Everyone leaves.”

Not me, she didn’t say, restraining the word behind an unhappy grimace. The implicit sentiment seemed to be understood, though, a revelation she was bitterly glad for. A tug on her shoulder drew her closer to the boy that reminded Azula so much of a barely-contained wildfire. She let herself be settled into a hug, closing her eyes at the scratch of rough wool upon her cheek.

“I’m sorry,” Aang said, when she knotted her hands into his robes, and he let his staff fall to the ground with a gentle gust. A hand landed, tentatively, gently upon her head, a counterpoint to the firm palm between her shoulders, “I’m sorry that- that people made you think you had to be alone. That everyone left.”

When Azula’s breathing wavered, hitching on a distraught exhale, his grip tightened in reassurance. “But some people came back,” He said, “Zuko, and Uncle Iroh, and- even Mai, and Ty Lee. You have us, too – Katara and Sokka and Toph. Suki, too, when she’s not busy with Kyoshi.”

It was more people than Azula had dared to consider, but the absolute certainty in his voice – after the disaster that finding her mother had been, how abandoned she felt, and replaced – doused the discordant jangle of her thoughts. She shivered, knowing her grasp upon the ever-present embers of her own qi was stolen away from her, neatly purloined with the knowledge that Aang spoke naught but the perplexing truth.

“I want to go home,” Azula said, the unending rhythm of waves upon shore filtering past the buzzing in her ears. She smelled the salt in her hair, and the pungent scent of seal-fat soap that wafted from the cheerfully-colored wool her nose was buried into.

There was a smile at her temple, a sharp gust of air and the whap of wood hitting the hand that had removed itself from her hair. Azula reluctantly leaned away, a wan smile growing when Aang tangled their fingers together, a casual gesture of friendship as he led the way.

[alj4890]

A Second Chance

(Thomas Hunt x oc*Amanda)

A/N Weeks have gone by. The paternity results are in and Thomas has now taken Amanda to his attorney’s office to finish changing Kathleen’s last name to Hunt along with making her the heir to his fortune. He decides to take a chance and asks Amanda to go out to dinner. Just the two of them.

@lxaah11​​ @alleksa16​​ @penguininapinktuxedo​​ @blackcoffee85​​ @stopforamoment​​  @hopefulmoonobject​​   @krsnlove​​   @annekebbphotography​​ @hopelessromantic1352​ . @sunflowergirl05​  @desireepow-1986​ @greywitchyshots​​ @lilyofchoices​​​ @moodyvalentinestories​​ @emceesynonymroll​​ @my-heart-beats-for-ya​​ @aworldoffandoms​​ @ab1901​​  @flyawayboo​​ @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​​ . @trappedinfandoms​​  @kate-mckenzie​​ @cordoniaqueensworld​​ @everythingmarvelsherlockspn​

Masterlist

Catch up here with Chapter 5

Chapter 6

"And sign here." Myles pointed toward the necessary spaces.

Thomas finished signing his name then passed it to Amanda.

She signed under his name.

The attorney leaned back in his chair and explained the new will and trust Thomas had created for Kathleen.

Thomas half listened as he thought of what the last few weeks in California had been like. Having Kathleen and Amanda living in his home had been eye opening. Uninterrupted time with his daughter had strengthened the bond between them.

Once Kathleen had chosen her bedroom; he had removed all the furniture and taken her shopping. Amanda had gone along, smiling often at the two of them as they debated possible furniture and décor. He bought everything that Kathleen liked. He even strung twinkle lights across the ceiling, replaced the simple drapes with ruffled pink curtains, and bought a menagerie of stuffed animals to fill it with. Her first night with all her new things had been one of celebration.

She asked if the three of them could have dinner in there and then watch a movie.

Thomas never thought the day would come where he would be sitting in a pillow fort, eating Chinese takeout, and watching Tangled. Yet here he was loving every moment.

His gaze cut to Amanda as Myles handed her the paperwork with Thomas now legally Kathleen's father. Once the paternity test had come back revealing she was his, he had pushed his lawyer to get her last name and his will changed as quickly as possible.

Amanda had been supportive of his decision. Kathleen was thrilled that she now had his name and practiced writing it out on the little chalkboard he had bought her.

The only thing that could make this better for Thomas would be if Amanda's last name was also legally changed to his.

Living with her had shown him how deeply in love he was. When Kathleen went to bed at night, he would entice Amanda to remain with him to either watch a movie or go for a swim.

He used those moments to find out all he could about her without pushing her into a romantic relationship.

He wanted her. His desire for her had only grown stronger. He did not want one night with her. He wanted the rest of her life.

He wanted to marry her. Finally have her as his.

Finally have his family.

He suspected she might feel something for him. He would catch her looking at him, almost like she did all those years ago when they were dating.

Yet there was something else there in her eyes. Her smile was warmer each time he did something sweet for her or Kathleen.

She had become more relaxed around him. Amanda had stopped shying away from touching him. There had been a few times as they watched Kathleen playing or coloring that she would quietly slip her arm around his waist.

But he wanted more. These sweet in between moments could be the norm while they took the next step. He knew how affectionate she was when in love. Thomas intended to have it all for himself.

He just did not know how to broach the subject.

"And that's it." Myles said.

Thomas blinked and refocused. "Everything's set?"

"It is." He smiled at the two. "Ms. Hunt will have no financial worries." He glanced at his watch and apologized for having to rush out to another meeting. He told them to call if any other concerns came to mind.

Amanda reached across the table for Thomas's hand. He turned to her once Myles left the conference room.

"Thank you for this." She said, rubbing her thumb over the top of his hand. "It isn't the money, but knowing that in the eyes of the world, Kathleen is your daughter."

He gripped her hand. "I know you say that you don't need child support, but I would like to have a part in caring for her, paying for whatever she needs."

"I understand." She let go of his hand and stood up. "Shall we?"

He stood up and took her hand again as she passed by, tugging her close. Her eyebrow lifted in question.

"How would you like to go to dinner tonight?" He asked.

"My schedule is so busy," she teased, "I'm not sure if I can join you and Kathleen this evening."

He smiled. "I meant just us." He lowered his eyes to their clasped hands. "It's been a long time since you and I went out. I'm sure Rachel and Stephen will watch Kathleen."

Amanda laughed at the thought. When Thomas had told his sister about Kathleen being in his home, she and her husband Stephen had shown up that very night.

Unlike Holly and Addison, Rachel had understood why Amanda had kept Kathleen a secret from all of them that were close to Thomas.

"You were wise not to trust us to keep our mouths closed." Rachel said one night. "We all would have flayed him alive with our tempers." She then added that if they had been told though, the misunderstandings could have been rectified so much sooner.

She and Stephen immediately fell under Kathleen's spell. The little girl in turn adored the two that were her new relatives. They took her out every day for special aunt/uncle/niece time. In other words, they spoiled her every chance they got.

Holly and Addison, along with Matt and Ryan, also accepted the little girl as their own. They could hardly get over the fact that Thomas was not only a father but that he had eased into the role without any difficulty.

The four along with Rachel and Stephen watched the family of three closely, especially Thomas and Amanda. They knew how he had pined for years for the duchess. Now that the two had a reason to see each other on a regular basis, the group wanted to see them together as they should be: a couple.

"How about it?" Thomas repeated. "A night out without a children's menu?"

She laughed and shook her head at the menu joke. "That sounds nice."

"I'm taking that as a yes." He put his hand at her back and guided her toward the elevators. "I'll make the reservations and pick you up around seven."

"Pick me up?" She teased. "My, we really are going all out with this dinner."

Thomas couldn't quite contain his smile. "It isn't every night I get to have you to myself."

Amanda felt her heart triple in beat. Did he mean that in a romantic sense or a platonic one? He probably only wanted a night out as an adult and was merely offering her the same as a friendly gesture.

As much as she tried to deny it, she felt that old love for him stirring to life more and more as time went on. His obvious love and care for Kathleen touched her aching heart in ways she had not anticipated.

She loved seeing him so uncertain yet trying to make his home special for their daughter. Seeing him agree to every little whim Kathleen had, made her smile at the sheer sweetness.

Then the little things he did for Amanda made her fall even more in love. He remembered things from their past that astounded her. He surprised her one evening with her favorite meal from a local Mexican restaurant. He had all her favorite classic movies on hand, explaining to Kathleen how he had developed a new love of many of them due to her mother. He had restocked his pantry with her English Breakfast tea bags and brown sugar cubes. Every gesture chipped away at the wall she had erected around her heart.

Their conversations at night caused a longing in her that life could be like this. Being with him while their child was tucked safe and content in her bed, it was her old dream, the very one she had tried to forget.

How could she though when he was all that she had ever wanted?

**************

"Which do you think?" Thomas held up two blazers.

Kathleen tilted her head as she studied the navy blue and then the charcoal gray. She was sitting in the middle of his bed amid a variety of dress shirts. "I like that one." She pointed at the gray. "And I like this shirt." She held up the black.

"Perfect." He pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "You have quite the eye for color coordination."

"I have two." She scrunched her shoulders with a giggle.

"I am very grateful for that." He replied with a smile. "Now then, anything else you can think of that I should do to make the night special for your mother?"

Kathleen propped her head on her hand as she thought. "Flowers. Mommy loved the ones you brought for my birthday."

"I can't believe I forgot about that." He muttered. He made a quick phone call and ordered a bouquet of tulips. "Anything else?"

Her little brow furrowed in thought. "Uncle Max said that she loves to dance but she doesn't do it anymore."

"Then I suppose it is up to me to remedy that." He wrote that idea down. "You have been a tremendous help."

Kathleen plucked at his bedspread. "Daddy?"

"Hmm?" He went into his closet to choose a tie.

"I'm a Hunt and you're a Hunt." She squirmed a little. "But Mommy's not."

He paused in his search. "No, she isn't." He saw the unhappiness on her little face and went to her. "What's wrong?"

"Mommy isn't part of the family." She whispered with a sniff.

He knelt beside his bed and took her hands in his. "Yes, she is."

"But she's still a Bridgerton." Kathleen pointed out. "Can't she be a Hunt too?"

"She can." He replied. "I plan on doing all I can to make her want to be one." He smoothed her hair out of her eyes. "It is up to her if and when she wants to change her last name."

Her eyes widened. “Are you going to marry her?”

Thomas didn’t know what to say. “Whatever your mother wants, I am going to do.” He held his daughter’s hands. “As soon as the moment is right, I will ask your mother to marry me.”

"So, we can be a family?" Kathleen asked excitedly.

"We are a family." He stressed once more. "We simply are one with two different last names at the moment." He picked her up and hugged her tight. "Why don't you go choose some movies to watch with Aunt Rachel and Uncle Stephen? I need to start getting ready."

"Okay." She hugged him once more then skipped out of his room.

***************

Stephen let out a low whistle when Thomas came downstairs.

He glared at his sister and brother-in-law when they let out a couple of catcalls. "Where's Kathleen?"

"In the kitchen with Amanda." Rachel grinned when he immediately went in that direction.

He paused in the kitchen doorway and watched the two.

Kathleen was sitting on the counter, giggling while Amanda spoke with a funny accent.

"These cookies are mine! No one else shall have them." Amanda pretended to sneak away with the tray she had removed from the oven.

"Mommy!" Kathleen gasped between her laughter.

Amanda turned around and brought them back over. Her own smile was bright at hearing her daughter's sweet laugh. "Be sure to share with Aunt Rachel and Uncle Stephen."

"I will." She promised. Kathleen looked up and called out to Thomas. "Do you want a cookie, Daddy?"

"No thank you." He joined them and helped lift Kathleen off the counter.

Amanda paused halfway in placing the cookies on a plate. Her eyes drifted down Thomas in his dark gray suit and black dress shirt. His tan skin and jet-black hair seemed even more noticeable...even more handsome. "You look nice."

He smiled softly as his eyes touched on her figure. "Thank you. I've always thought you looked beautiful in red."

Amanda nervously smoothed her short skirt. "Thank you."

She handed the plate to Kathleen and watched her carefully carry it into the living room.

Thomas stepped closer to Amanda. "I've been looking forward to tonight."

She finished wiping her hands while a smile played about her lips. "Oh?"

He nodded. "Are you ready to go?"

She looked down at herself. "I think so, unless you think I should wear something else?"

"You look perfect." He took her hand and pulled her along behind him.

Kathleen was snuggled between Rachel and Stephen on the couch. She waved  goodbye to them while eating a cookie.

"Have a good time." Rachel told them as she walked them to the door. "And don't hurry home."

************

71Above, Los Angeles...

"I forgot how much attention you draw when out." Amanda teased when they were seated at their table.

He frowned slightly at the people whispering and pointing. "So did I. I don't know why they do so."

She chuckled and picked up her menu. "It couldn't have anything to do with your handsome looks or immense talent."

He shook his head in exasperation and turned his attention back to her. "Would you like to go somewhere else?"

"We can if you wish." She said. "I can ignore them."

His eyes touched on how she looked in the soft light reflected from L.A.'s skyline. He was not quite ready to abandon the romantic restaurant because of a few nosy patrons. "I can ignore them too."

Her smile was warm as she lowered her eyes.

Thomas set out to charm her. Every story, every bit of flirty teasing, every brush of his fingers against her hand; it all had one purpose. He wanted her to fall in love with him again.

Amanda's cheeks were a touch pink under his steady gaze. She would often lower her lashes while smiling with his flirting. He had forgotten how those mannerisms used to encourage his attempts in romancing her.

He began to feel confident in his efforts with her leaving her hand in his and the almost permanent smile on her face. Once dinner was over, he took her to the next planned part of their evening.

"Aren't we going home?" Amanda asked when he drove on into the city.

"Kathleen shared an observation with me." He answered. "I thought it was time to try again."

Amanda lifted an eyebrow at his attempt at being mysterious. "Care to share what that observation was?"

"I think I'd rather leave it a surprise." He chuckled when she groaned.

"I think you've forgotten how little I like surprises." She huffed while folding her arms.

"I haven't forgotten." He told her.

"Ah, so you've resorted to torture now on your evenings out." She shook her head in mock disappointment. "Shame on you, Mr. Hunt."

Thomas couldn't quite wipe the smile off his face at her teasing. It was reminiscent of how things once had been between them. He missed having that. She was one if not the only one that brought out that playful side of his personality.

"A night club?" Amanda said in disbelief when he parked the car. "This is what Kathleen suggested?"

"She merely shared that Maxwell had told her how much you loved to dance and that you haven't done so in a very long time." He explained.

Her brow furrowed with that observation. "I don't think I've been dancing since that trip you and I took to Cabo."

He paused as memories of that vacation came to mind. That was a month or two before they-- "Amanda? Was Kathleen conceived during that trip?"

Her eyes widened as she quickly did the math. "She must have been! We were there at the end of December and I had her in September."

He placed his arm around her waist. He remembered that trip well. It had been a series of one romantic moment after another. Knowing that Kathleen was created during such a time made it seem all the more significant.

"What are you thinking about?" Amanda asked when he remained silent.

Thomas lowered his eyes to her. "That night we spent on the yacht in Cabo."

She didn't know how to respond. That night was one that she had never been able to forget. It had been one of the most romantic of her life. One of the most passionate.

He pulled her closer to his side once they were in the club. The place was crowded, and music blared from the speakers. They both cringed from the strobe light and the vibrations from the bass.

Amanda rose on her toes to speak in his ear. "Let's get out of here."

He began to shake his head, determined to take her dancing.

She laced her fingers with his and pulled him out of the building.

"Amanda, I don't mind--"

"I think I've outgrown the club scene." She explained. Her smile was warm as she stepped closer, raising her hands to his crooked tie. "I prefer being out with you in places where I can actually hear what you say."

His lips curved softly. He set his hands on her waist as she worked on his tie, tempted to pull her flush to his body. "So do I." He took her hand and led her back to his car. "One more place to go that I think might make up for this."

"Thomas, there isn't any need to--" her breath caught when he placed his hands on either side of her, trapping her between him and the car. Amanda lifted her eyes to his, wondering what he was going to do. Hoping he might...she stopped thinking. "You have already given me a wonderful night out."

He leaned closer to her. "I want this night to be special."

She swallowed and tried to keep from focusing on his mouth. "It has been."

He stepped away from her and opened her door. "If you don't care for our last stop then I will take you home."

She almost reached out to pull him back to her. "Okay."

He smiled a touch proudly when he heard the slight intake of her breath once more. He got in on his side of the car and drove off.

A short time later they were walking along the docks.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with our remembering Cabo, would it?" She teased when they stood before his yacht.

"I actually had this planned before that memory was brought to mind." He helped her aboard and followed after her.

He opened the door to the main saloon.

Her lips parted in surprise. A bouquet of tulips sat beside a bottle of champagne resting in an ice bucket on a table near the couch. A glass covered tray was set on another end table holding various desserts.

"Someone is going to a great deal of trouble." She teased when soft music drifted through the surround sound speakers.

He pulled her into a slow dance. "This? No trouble at all."

She rested her cheek on his shoulder as he swayed with her to the beat. Amanda closed her eyes and allowed herself a moment to drop all the cautious barriers she had placed around her heart so that she could enjoy being in his arms once more.

Thomas set her other hand on his shoulder and wrapped both his arms around her. When she raised her head, their eyes met before lowering to the other's lips.

He waited on her to make the first move. He needed her to be the one to make the decision on giving him a second chance. He briefly closed his eyes when her fingers threaded through the hair at the nape of his neck.

Their bodies were brushing against the other's as the tension built between the few inches that separated their parted lips.

She pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips. "Thank you for taking me out." A self-depreciating smile formed. "I haven't had a night out on the town in a very long time."

"Thank you for accepting." He murmured, keeping his gaze on her mouth.

She tried to ignore the need to kiss him. Ignore the need to see if it was like it once had been. Feel that electric tingle across her skin.

She knew it was foolish to play with this type of fire. She had resolved to never again take a chance on love. Kathleen was to never suffer from her decisions.

Amanda had vowed to be single for the rest of her life the week after Kathleen's birth. She knew she could never have some man have a say in her daughter’s upbringing.

But Thomas was not some random man. He was the father of her child. He was innocent of all the previously thought wrongdoings.

He was here, right where she had once hoped he would be. Thomas was showing her the type of attention she had once craved so long ago.

What if she gave in to his wish and tried a romantic relationship again? What if it ended horribly?

What if it didn't?

She hesitated and lifted her eyes to his.

Thomas saw all her vulnerable uncertainty in the hazel depths. He knew he should stick to his plan and admit he was more in love with her than he had ever been once they were in Cordonia. He believed he needed her to see how he could fit into her life there as well as anywhere else.

But he did not think he could wait any longer.

"I'm in lo--" his phone rang.

He pulled it out of his coat’s interior pocket. "It's Rachel."

Amanda's eyes widened. "Kathleen? Do you think she's--"

Thomas quickly answered.

"We need you to come home." Stephen explained. "Kathleen became sick and has been crying for Amanda."

She snatched the phone out of Thomas's hand. "What happened?"

"She was fine, playing, then complained about her stomach hurting. Next thing we knew, she ran to the bathroom and threw up." Stephen's voice sounded strained. "She began to cry which caused her to throw up again."

"I'm on my way." Amanda swiftly left the saloon and hurried off the yacht.

Thomas chased after her. "Amanda, wait a mo--"

"I don't have a moment!" Amanda snapped. Her stiletto heel got stuck in one of the slits on the dock. Her foot came completely out of her shoe.

Thomas knelt and pried it loose, slipping it back on her foot. "Everything is going to be fine."

"My daughter is sick." Amanda said in a disapproving tone. "I shouldn't have gone out."

"She probably ate too many cookies." Thomas tried to make her see reason.

"I don't care what caused it." Amanda cursed when she stumbled over another plank.

Thomas caught her before she hit the dock and pulled her close. He gently tilted her chin up. "I will get us home as fast as I can."

Her frown eased. "Thank you." She held onto his arm as they made their way off the dock.

***************

Amanda hurried upstairs as Rachel told all that had happened.

"I gave her another bath." Rachel followed closely at her heels. "She threw up all over her pajamas when she started crying."

"Poor angel." Amanda mumbled. She stepped into Kathleen's bedroom and went straight to her bed.

"Mommy." Kathleen reached out for her.

Amanda sat down beside her and held her close. "Shh, it's okay." She gently rubbed her back. "I'm here." She thanked Rachel for taking care of her.

Thomas paused in the doorway as his sister left the room. "Is there anything I can do?"

"She will need some electrolytes. Anything like Gatorade or Pedialyte." Amanda replied. "And possibly some popsicles."

“Orange.” Kathleen mumbled as she curled up in her mother’s lap. “I only like orange ones to drink.”

“Orange electrolytes and cherry popsicles.” Amanda told him.

“I’ll take care of it.” Thomas promised. He quickly left the room and told his sister where he was going.

“We’ll go for you.” Stephen offered. “That way you can help if Amanda needs anything.”

Thomas thanked them. He wrote down what Kathleen liked and gave them money. They ignored his money and took the list, leaving him uncertain with what he should do now.

************

Once he was gone, Amanda settled Kathleen back in her bed. She remained sitting beside her daughter with her back to the headboard.

Kathleen moved her head to Amanda's lap. "Will you sing the song?"

Her mother's lips curved softly as she gently ran her fingers through Kathleen's hair. "Of course."

Thomas paused in the hallway when he heard Amanda singing. He recalled that she was not known by friends and loved ones for having a good singing voice. But something about this particular song and the way she kept her voice low seemed soothing. He quietly approached the bedroom and watched the two.

Don't know why there's no sun up in the sky

Stormy weather

Since my gal and I ain't together

Keeps raining all the time

Life is bare. Gloom and misery everywhere

Stormy weather

Just can't get my poor self together

I'm weary all the time, the time

So weary all the time

Kathleen had a smile on her face as her eyes drooped closed. Her favorite part of the song was coming up.

When she went away the blues walked in and met me

If she stays away, that old rockin' chair gonna get me

All I do is pray the Lord above will let me

Walk in the sun once more,

Can't go on, everything is gone

Stormy weather

Since my gal and I ain't together

Keeps rainin' all the time

Keeps rainin' all the time

Kathleen yawned and snuggled closer. Thomas stepped in when Amanda paused in singing. He quietly told her that Rachel and Stephen went shopping for them. He then went into Kathleen’s bathroom and retrieved a cool, damp rag when Amanda asked him to get one.

She gently placed the rag on Kathleen's forehead, still humming Stormy Weather.

Thomas sat down in a padded rocker, observing the two.

Amanda carefully moved Kathleen to her pillow once she was asleep.

He followed her out of the bedroom and across the hallway to her room. "Is there anything else we need to do?"

"I'm going to change clothes and sit up with her for a few more hours." Amanda explained, stepping inside her room. She hesitated then looked up at him. "Feel free to get some rest. I'm used to doing this on my own whenever she is ill."

His lips firmed in a slight frown when she gathered some comfortable clothes and went into the bathroom to change. He loosened his tie and went to his own bedroom.

Amanda returned to Kathleen's room and rewet the rag, placing it back on her head.

She sat down once more on the bed and hummed when Kathleen moved restlessly and whimpered.

Thomas returned in a pair of jogging pants and a t-shirt. He took his spot in the rocker once more.

"You don't have to be here." Amanda whispered, surprised to see him again.

"Yes, I do." He whispered back. "I have to be here for you." He paused. "Both of you."

She lowered her eyes and resumed gently running her fingers through her daughter's hair in soothing repetitions.

"Why Stormy Weather?" He asked softly.

Amanda's lips turned up in a smile. "I listened to Frank Sinatra albums throughout most of my pregnancy. One night, a month after Kathleen's birth, she cried for hours, fighting sleep. I tried everything to calm her down. Eventually, pacing and singing his rendition of Stormy Weather helped her fall asleep. It worked each time after that, and she now claims it as the song. She usually likes it sung whenever she is sick."

Thomas softly chuckled. "She would appreciate the classics."

Amanda nodded, laughing. "She loves his singing."

His smile was tender. "She got that from you. If I remember correctly, you once said you would have had a hard time not melting if you had been one of the women in the movies he sung to."

Amanda shook her head at her own foolishness. "I was born in the wrong time period."

He stood up and stretched. "Let's sit over there." He whispered when he noticed her shift, trying to get comfortable on the small bed.

Amanda followed him over to the loveseat that Kathleen had chosen for her movie corner in her room. They sat down and remained quiet as they watched Kathleen sleep.

He set his arm along the back of the couch and urged Amanda closer. She glanced down when his other hand held hers and felt that old stirring of memories. There had been a number of times when she was taking care of Kathleen that she had wished he had been there comforting her as she worried over every little thing.

She rested her head against his shoulder, feeling a calmness come over her just by having him by her side.

He pressed his lips to her forehead, letting them linger there.

After an hour, she fell asleep, turning more in his arms. He repositioned her and held her close. Thomas covered the two of them with one of the fuzzy blankets that was nearby.

He lowered his head to kiss the top of hers once more. He closed his eyes, feeling grateful to have her in his arms again. Though it wasn't quite how he had wished the night would end, Thomas hoped it would lead to an even closer relationship with Amanda.

[closetedotaku01]

i rlly hope youll keep writing after Kinktober, bc as a writer myself i see so much potential in your writing. it's already great, but it really reminds me of my own writing from a year or two back. i was the one who asked how long you've been writing & i've been writing fanfic for 7 years so its cool to see how good you already are. youre going to improve so much over time & i'm really excited to see it, you do so many things in your stories well & theyre only going to get better! (1/2)

THIS GOT SO LONG IM SORRY!!!

This.... I—. WARMED MY HEART!! Pick a name or emoji or whatever you want and you are an official anon!! Also this got long so.. READ MORE IF YA WANNA!!

Thank you so much for saying you see potential. Sometimes I’m really.... unhappy with my work and feel like I can’t improve and this just... MADE ME SO HAPPY!! Like... hearing it from someone who does write💜💜💜💜💜 makes my whole life.

I’m so excited to keep growing and I hope you stay for the journey because this is so sweet. Maybe casually come off anon way down the road (so I can’t guess) just so I can read some of your work too 👉👈. And no worries there will be more after Kinktober. I am really enjoying this and have no plans to stop writing any time soon.

~~~~

Okay so my favorite published authors are Jandy Nelson (I’ll Give You The Sun is a book I reread constantly. It’s my comfort book. I swear if my soul was anywhere besides my body, there’s a piece of it trapped in that book.), Fredrick Backman (specifically And Every Morning the Way Home Gets Longer and Longer), Brigid Kemmerer (literally all of the books she’s published with Bloomsbury I’ve read and adored), and Neal Schusterman (Specifically the Arc of a Scythe Trilogy). They all write in ways that affect me deeply and they mean a lot to me. I don’t necessarily try to emulate them, but they definitely are the authors I consult (by reading and rereading their works) to get ideas and to learn how to write.

~~~~

Fanfic authors. I think I’ve made it pretty damn clear on here that I am hopelessly in love with @imaginethathaikyuu (I’m still too scared to tag her I’m sorry) and her writing. She means the whole world to me in every way. Her writing always hits me in a MAGICAL way. Especially her newer pieces. Works of hers that hit hard for me are: (please note this list is not comprehensive. These are just the FIRST ONES that came to mind. All her work is objectively great.) 

-Tsukishima accidentally teases his s/o’s insecurity - this one holds my heart.

-Heated argument with Tsukishima - this is the angst I adore. Honestly, this might be one of my TOP TOP favorites, because it feels so real. 

-Morning sex with Tsukishima -just the line “theyre your tits!” That’s all. Brings me serotonin beyond words. And it feels so genuine and lovely. Again... she makes the world so real. Also in my TOP TOP favs. (Is my Tsukki love showing too much?)

-Helping you when you can’t sleep - This is beyond words beautiful

-Helping you study - PLEASE I NEED THIS NOW

-Tanaka finding out his s/o is pregnant - YES! SHE DOES TANAKA SO WELL

-Tanka asks Kiyoko to dance.... but she says no - SO WELL 

-Riding Headcanons -🙈

-S/O is nervous about him going down on her  -because who ISNT the first time?

-Learning about your self-harm scars -hits close to home and Iwa’s makes me cry every time.

-Akaashi making it up to you after a fight -my favorite color is literally purple 💜

-Bokuto’s s/o has a nightmare - I literally revisit this one whenever I have a nightmare

- Kinktober 2019 - ALL .... but the ones I revisit the most are Tsukishima’s, Oikawa’s, Futakuchi’s, Yaku’s, Iwa’s, Yamaguchi’s, and Matsukawa’s.

-Kinktober 2020 - please GOD read Kuroo’s, Mattsun’s, Iwa’s, Suna’s, and Atsumu’s. They’re all immaculate but those in PARTICULAR were MASTERPIECES.

-Having an angsty fight - particularly Kuroo’s GETS TO ME. Like... damn. Makes me... melt. Idek why. It’s just, again, how real she makes it feel. From the atmosphere and setting to the way the characters behave. A lot of times in “argument angst” (is that a term?) the arguments feel so shallow and stupid. And I’m like “on my moodiest days I wouldn’t react like that” or “Kuroo WOULD NEVER”. But these feel so real. Ughhhh.

-You give Kenma a gift mid-stream 

-Kenma gets turned on during a stream - can you tell I love the way she writes streamer Kenma 😌 also this is my fav nsfw-esque Kenma piece solely because it feels accurate to his character in a beautiful way despite me headcanoning that he’s ace.

-Oikawa’s s/o wakes up without him there

-Iwaizumi getting.... caught.... by Makki and Mattsun... with you  -Give Iwa More Love 2020

-Tendo teasing his s/o by ... taking care of himself - One of the first Em pieces I ever read. I don’t think it was THE first. But it was definitely the first one I read like... RIGHT AFTER she posted it.

-Tendo comforting s/o who’s parents yell - hits very close to home for me, and I just wanted him to come whisk me away the first time I read this

-7MIH with Tendo  -hehe I love this more than anything. Also Ushijima’s ONE line makes me CACKLE. I’m in love with this one

-This two part series with Atsumu (1) (2) -haha I reread these too often

-Kneel to Pray  (Sakusa) -I have not even one criticism or negative thought. Not one. And I’ve read this TOO many times.

-Tough boys are soft for you - two of the best boys

- Countdown to Christmas - Days 6,7,11, and 12 are the ones I reread the most

THIS IS SO BAD!! I WENT STRAIGHT TO THESE AND DIDN’T THINK IT WAS THAT MANY COS I REREAD THESE ONES REGULARLY. (And there’s a lot more theatre good. Please explore her blog! It’s WONDERFUL) Sorry for spending too much time on Em’s blog, but also.... not sorry cos she’s amazing and all of these pieces inspire me.  I’ll try to be fast for the rest of these ahfihfadsfsjfh.

 @star-puff (catch a theme of me being scared of talented authors)’s piece La Lune and her Fleur d’Amour event (search #fleur d’amour on her blog) are so creative and beautiful and truly show how talented she is. She’s amazing. EDIT: I’m adding this as soon as I’ve read it because it just made me cry. Omg. Read this. Tsukishima royalty AU it is angst though so 👀 read at your own risk. EDIT: On GOD Meg could murder me and I’d say thanks. Please read this beautiful time stamp shit it makes me HAPPY. 

UPDATE: And Meg is now responsible for the most canon Tsukki piece I’ve ever read. 

There’s a cute SMAU called Sunshine by @pudding-head-kenma and idk how she does it. It’s so good. I could never tell a story this complex, THIS WELL, using only text messages and tweets and such. She also does mini headcanons that are REALLY cute.

Anything and everything by @haik-choo is gold. Literal gold. The way she writes Tsukishima is IMMACULATE. Toxic headcanons, mischaracterizations all of its gold. And she’s a beautiful shitposter. She drops shit that makes me CACKLE at the most random times. All of it is a big yes for me.

UPDATE: this is gold.

Of course I’ve read In Another Life and OF COURSE I sobbed. Took me AN HOUR to read because I kept having to take breaks to just.... sob. VERY MUCH A HEAVY DUTY ANGST. Not for the weak of heart. BokuAka. This is probably the oldest piece I’ve read that still HITS for me. 

There are other pieces but I can’t remember them.... probably will come back and add to this post later.

Thank you for this ask. Thank you for being so kind and inspiring. I was kinda worried about releasing anything I’ve ever written and still get nervous sometimes so this ask makes me feel a hell of a lot better and makes me feel like I’m joining a WONDERFUL community like... Look at all that talent ^^^^.

[achtung-attitude]

Chapter 30: Hotel California - Part 2

Kilo Staples stares at the crack in the ceiling, stretching from the corner and arching to the center of the wall. He is unhappy with his current arrangement. He lies on the utmost edge of the king-size bed. To his immediate right, Jerome  suddenly rolls onto his back, throwing the thin linen duvet cover off of them both. His black pajamas are revealed, patterned all over with cannabis leaves, “Smoke Weed Err’day” embroidered on the front breast pocket. On his back, mouth open, he begins to snore. Kilo stares at the ceiling.

Past him, on the opposite edge of the bed, Shizuka Joestar sleeps on her side. A tanned shoulder peeks from under the covers, simply dressed as she is in her usual button-shirt, underwear, and her facepaint carefully removed.

Kilo will not be getting any sleep at this rate. There is enough space in the bed to fit another six people, and he feels like he will continue to sink into the mattress, like quicksand, but he can’t shake this anxiety off of him. He gets up, careful not to wake his companions. He pads to the impressive balcony, his chest bare against the breeze and lights a cigarette.

Neither Jerome nor Shizuka seem to have any problem sleeping in the same bed, no matter how big it may be. Nor do either of them seem to pay attention to how obviously strange the hotel is. With a building this big, the meager skeleton crew they had seen seemed ill-equipped to take care of everything. Yet all seems well, at least according to Paul Mann, who stands out as a bizarre, almost otherworldly character.

“Something isn’t right about that guy…” Kilo murmurs, taking a drag, “Damn it, what’re they thinking? Don’t they realize the kinda shit we’re in? No telling when the next attack is coming, and they just wanna hang out. Takin’ a load off is one thing, but this…”

Exhaling in frustration, he releases a cloud of smoke and flicks the cigarette to the floor, crushing it underfoot. “Nothing I can do for now, I guess,” he says. He steps back inside and out of the conjoined bedroom into the common area.

 The television looms over the wide couch like some kind of bottomless maw. A flick of a button transforms it into a window of flickering light, a portal to the lurid realm of late-night television. Kilo stares at the senseless images flickering past his vision…

In a quarter-second, Kilo realizes he dozed off, then leaps to his feet, listening intently for the sound that woke him: A thick, wet thud from just outside the room. He approaches the door, careful that his footsteps make no noise. Then, sensing movement behind him, he turns sharply. 

“It’s me,” Shizuka whispers, barefoot on the carpet, lit only by the flickering static from the television.

Kilo raises a finger to his lips and grasps the door handle. Slowly, he turns it. He holds his breath. The door clicks and he throws the door wide, striding into the hall with SATURN BARZ ready, Shizuka and ACHTUNG BABY close behind. 

They are the only ones in the hallway. Kilo clicks his tongue, a little disappointed at finding no enemy to harm. Shizuka, facing the other direction, gasps. He turns, and sees the cause of Shizuka’s shock.

A body slumps against a wall, dressed in a red blazer, dropped towels scattered over the floor. SATURN BARZ rolls the body over, and Kilo grimaces as his suspicions are confirmed. It’s the older bellhop. Crouching, Kilo hovers his hand over the old man's mouth and nose.

“He ain’t breathing,” he says. He reaches to check for the man’s pulse, then jerks his hand back, yelping in pain, “YAAAGH!!”

“What happened?!” Shizuka exclaims.

“Augh, nothing…!” Kilo says, clutching his hand, “Just some static electricity, it shocked me. I’m fine. Go wake up Jerome and call an ambulance. Then we outta here. I don’t like this.”

Shizuka nods, and dashes back into the room. Kilo shakes his hand, scowling at it. His hand is not fine. Though outwardly, it is undamaged, pins and needles sear through him, rendering him barely able even to bend his fingers. Through force of will, he manages to form a fist, and within a few moments, feeling returns to his hand.

Restored to functionality, Kilo cautiously taps the body with the back of his knuckles, but there is no shock this time. Here, he notices the card clipped onto the old man’s belt, and finds himself oddly drawn to it. Unclipping it, he stares at the card and frowns deeply at its contents.

The man depicted in the photograph on the ID card is, without doubt, the same man lying on the floor in front of Kilo. Both share the odd, wine-colored birthmark over the right eye, in the uncanny shape of the state of California. But the man in the photograph must be around Kilo’s age, over fifty years younger than the one lying before him, with a full head of frizzy brown hair and smooth skin.

Joseph Luther

Position: Hospitality officer

ID no.: 019467213

Issued: December 2015

Expires: January 2018

“What in the hell is this?” Kilo mutters.

He unclips the card and stands, staring at it, just as Jerome pokes his head out of the door, rubbing his eye and yawning. “Yo, man, what’s the deal? I needs my beauty sleep-”

“Did you make the call?” 

“The what-?”

“The ambulance, Jerome! Did you call the ambulance yet!?”

“Oh, right, right. Yeah, I did. It’s comin’. Man, why’d you make me do that?… You’re just gonna cause a big scene, Kilo… Gonna ruin the good vibes comin’ from dis place…”

“Never mind that. Look at this,” Kilo says, handing him the ID card, “What you make of it?”

Jerome takes the card with some umbrage, inspecting the card with a tired scowl. This fades as he recognises the face on the card. “But that’s…”

“Yeah.”

“There’s no way it’s the same guy! It’s gotta be his grandson or something! The picture’s only from three years ago!”

“Leave it. Get your shit, Jerome, we’re leaving now.”

“This don’t make no sense, how could… Hey, you guys! You can explain, can’t ya? Things like this can’t happen here, can they?”

Kilo turns sharply, his eyes falling upon the two figures that have suddenly appeared behind him. He recognises them instantly as the elderly man’s colleague: Marsellus and Martha. The woman grips Luther’s ankles while the big-eared man slips his arms under his armpits. Together they begin to lift his body and carry it down the hall.

“Stop!” Kilo roars, pointing at them. They stop immediately, looking at him with innocent faces. “Don’t move! Put him down right now! Where did you come from!? Where were you planning on taking him?! Answer me!!”

Martha speaks after a moment. “We’re terribly sorry if our colleague inconvenienced you in any way, sir. Here at the Hotel California, we strive to provide the utmost care in guest hospitality. We urge you to return to bed-”

“I told you to put him down! Your colleague might be dead, and you’re just gonna carry him away? I asked you where you’re taking him!”

“If you require it, sir, we’ll be happy to provide you with some sleeping aid, or if not, may we invite you downstairs to enjoy-”

“I’m not going ANYWHERE, and neither are you, until you answer my questions!!”

“Sir,” Martha says, more insistent now, “I’ll have to ask you to lower your voice. You may be disturbing the other guests.”

“Are you trying to be funny?! Huh-?!”

“Kilo, let it go, mayn,” Jerome says, languidly before yawning deeply.

“What…?” 

“The staff’s takin’ care of it, let’s let ‘em take care of it. You know I needs my sleep. Let’s go back inside, yeah? That bed was so comfy…”

“What the hell are you talking about? We’re not going back to bed, we gotta go!”

“Go where, mayn? I don’t got anywhere else booked. Beside, not like anywhere else’ll compare. It’s such a lovely place…”

He yawns again, and Kilo narrows his eyes. “You… keep saying that. Y’all keep saying that. ‘Lovely place’, or ‘such a lovely place’. You and Shizuka, and the staff. Even the big corporate guy. Why? Why always that specific phrase?”

“I’m tellin’ you to just let the staff take care of it, Kilo. This is their jobs-”

“Ever since we got here, things’ve been nothing but suspicious, but neither you or Shizuka have noticed. Only I’ve noticed? Am I the only one with any sense left?!?”

The door directly across from the trio’s room and a white man in a vest and sweatpants steps out, rubbing his surly face. It is the man from earlier, who came to reception straight after them, with his young son in tow. “Would you please keep it down out here? Do you have any idea what time it is?!”

“Get back inside, man, where it’s safe!” Kilo shouts.

“Excuse me?!” the white man replies, scandalized, “Are you threatening me? I’ll have you know I’m a lawyer, buddy. You so much as look at me wrong, I can bury you under so much litigation that you’ll-!”

“I don’t care what your fuckin’ job is!” he yells, turning, exasperated, “Shit’s complicated enough without you gettin’ involved!” He means to say more, but falls quiet. Beyond the lawyer’s shoulder, he sees into the room.

“H-hey, w-wait a minute, what do you think you’re doing? D-don’t come near me, stay ba-” the lawyer stammers as Kilo approaches, pushing past him and into the room, “Stop! You can’t just waltz in here like that! I’ll call the cops!” Kilo doesn’t listen to him, but inspects the room in wonder.

The lawyer’s room is an exact replica of his own, the so-called “Presidential suite.” The television, the sofa, the pictures on the wall, all are identical. Storming into the bedroom, he sees that even the crack in the ceiling is replicated.

The young boy on the bed rouses awake, blinking at him. “Hey… you’re that man… who flew that one time. On the freeway, at the airport,” he mutters absently.

“Stop!” his father yells, “Get out of there! Get away from my son, you-- Ahh!!” his shout turns into a yelp as Kilo grips him by the strap of his vest and pushes him against the wall.

“How do you have the Presidential Suite too? Answer me, now!”

“What are you…? D-downstairs, at reception! The lady, she said that this was the last room available! Sh-she even gave me a discount on the price!”

“Same thing…”

“What?”

“She said the same thing, to us.”

“But… why? She lied? Why would she lie about that?”

“I don’t know,” Kilo says, releasing him, “But I’ll find out. Listen: get out of here. Something isn’t right in this place. Take your son and leave this hotel. Don’t bother checking out, just grab what you can and leave!”

“Are you gonna fly again?” The boy asks, climbing out of the oversized bed.

“I’ll send someone flying,” Kilo answers, striding out of the room. When he leaves, Marsellus and Martha have disappeared, along with Luther’s body. 

Shizuka has come out of the room, tiptoeing past Jerome reclining against the door to his Presidential Suite, barely awake. She, too, appears to be sleepwalking. “Don’t go… just come rest, Kilo…” she says, pawing at his wrist, gripping him weakly. 

“You and Jerome go inside,” he says, taking her shoulder. “I’ll be back later.”

He marches and marches down the dark corridor, but he never seems to get any closer. Though he travels in a straight line, the hallway goes on and on, impossibly long. “I knew it. I knew all along!! This hotel isn’t natural,” he growls, half to himself, half at the retreating staff. “This has to be an enemy Stand!!

“If I take out the User, then this whole place will die with him… That bastard… That bastard, I know just who it is! There’s nobody else!!” Kilo walks past the elevators and throws open the door to the emergency stairs. He’s quick to reach the top floor, the penthouse of the Hotel California. Without a second to lose, SATURN BARZ slams its palm on the door and it instantly explodes into vapor, which Kilo strides through.

Behind the now non-existent door is Paul Mann, sitting at a desk in a velvet robe, leaning over paperwork. He looks up from the desk, with a smile. “Ah, look who it is!! Kilo, my boy!! That’s a fine trick you did with the door, tell me, what brings you to me at this fine hou-WHOAA!!” He shouts as SATURN BARZ grabs him by his gown and lifts him up into the air. 

“Cancel the Stand ability!! I KNOW you’re the User, so do it!!” Kilo demands, before throwing the portly millionaire into a bookcase.

Mann groans as he struggles to get himself back up. “…Alright, alright, that how you wanna play it…?” he says, rubbing his back. “Fine. I-I never thought they’d go this far, but fine, I can take it… So! Who sent you? Was it Brown, huh? You tell that asshole I’m not budging! Tell him to keep that office warm for me, I’m not damn well budging! I will become Governor of this fucking State!!”

SATURN BARZ delivers a kick to his gut. “Don’t bullshit me!! Who are you working for, huh!? The Congregation!?!” Kilo lifts Mann up in the air again with his Stand ready to toss him around however many times. “You’ve got one chance before I turn you into a smear of red paste on the wall!! Cancel the ability, and let everyone out of the hotel!”

By now, Paul Mann has lost all his mojo, as he kicks his legs in the air, his voice trembling. “Ahh! Stop it! I don’t know what you’re talking about!!”

“Don’t lie to me!”

“H-h… How are you doing this? You’re not touching me, but…! Please, just put me down!!!”

Despite wanting to punch a hole through this guy’s stomach, Kilo doesn’t sense any malintent or deceit from Paul Mann. His Stand waves its hand in front of his face, but the Mann’s eyes take no notice of it. “He can’t see it… He can’t see SATURN BARZ. He’s not the User.”

“Well, of course, he isn’t,” says the man at the door. Standing in the doorframe is the bellboy  Marsellus, wearing a small, sinister smile. “Mr. Mann is nothing more than an honored guest.”

[we-need-a-sexy-skeleton]

The Hanging Tree: Chapter Two

Characters: Logan, Virgil, Remus, Deceit (DC), Remy (Unnamed, “Sunglassed man”)

Pairings: Future Logince, Future Moxiety, Platonic Analogical, Past familial Anxceit

Warnings: Blood, screaming, dogs/wolves, vampires, nonconsensual touching (But nothing too icky, just smelling), vampire bites.

A/N: I got really eager for this chapter, so now it’s being posted. I will try to get an actual schedule going at some point, promise.

Taglist:  @rileylastname @aboredenby @unicornlogan @kittycake574 @lemme-use-a-thorn @why-should-i-tell-youu2 @librowyrm @dorkoverse @ultraviollettt (Ask to be added)

Chapter One Chapter Three

Logan has, all things considered, heard, said, and seen weirder things. After all, he was born from a tree. His friend turning into a wolf is hardly the strangest thing that’s ever happened. But, apparently, it is the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to the witch.

“Virgil, we’ve literally played tag with a possessed doll, why is this weirder to you?”

Because I don’t want to be a wolf! And I don’t want to get fleas!

“You aren’t going to get fleas,” Logan sighed. “Wolves don’t get fleas.”

How do you know that?

“I read it somewhere. What do you want me to do, get you a flea collar?”

I wouldn’t mind it…

“You know what!? Fine! Get in the car, Virgil, I’ll take you down to the fucking PetSmart and get you a flea collar! You want me to pick up a fucking bag of dog food, too?”

Jeez, you’re angry.

“I apologize, but I just got knocked out, had a psychic vision, and found out my only friend-slash-boss has been turned into a wolf!”

Wait, you what?

“Yes, I got knocked out! This is ridiculous! My head still hurts!”

Not that! Virgil let out an unhappy whine. Why didn’t you tell me you had a vision? 

“Because it’s never happened before. I thought maybe it was just, like. A side effect of getting knocked out.”

Wait, how did you get knocked out?

“Uhm. I don’t know. I heard a window break and the potion exploded, and then I was unconscious.”

Do you know what broke the window?

“There’s a rock on the counter, but I don’t know who threw it.”

Strange. I have a friend who might be able to help us.

“Okay, then let’s go see him.”

Logan quickly found that Virgil had been completely serious about that flea collar, as the newly-turned wolf kept whining until he stopped at PetSmart.

“Is there any way to keep you out of my head?” Logan muttered, leading Virgil through the aisles of the PetSmart, ignoring the looks of workers as Virgil padded obediently next to him. “What color do you even want?”

Purple!

“Virgil, wolves only have red and blue photoreceptors, and not good ones at that. You can’t even see proper purple.”

Why are you being mean to me? I’m just a puppy!

“You are a giant, black wolf, Virgil. I hardly think that counts as a puppy.” Logan sighed and grabbed a purple collar, walking back to the counter to buy it.

Logan!

Logan looked over his shoulder to see Virgil had been distracted by… a dog hoodie. “Oh, my god.”

Please?

“Absolutely not.”

But I need it!

“You absolutely do not need a hoodie.”

But it’s all purple and patchwork! Logan, please?

Logan looked at the hoodie, then at Virgil’s begging face, and sighed. He stomped back over to the hoodie and grabbed the biggest size before furiously going to the cash register. Virgil followed him happily.

“I expect a bonus when you get back to normal,” Logan sighed, helping Virgil into his new things.

I don’t pay you?

“Exactly. I expect to start being paid.”

You’re mean.

“I dislike dogs.”

Virgil stuck his tongue out and followed Logan back to the car. Logan sighed deeply ran his hands through his hair, just wanting to fix this quickly.

“Where is this friend?” Logan asked, parking the car outside the restaurant that Virgil directed him to. “Will he be waiting for us?”

Yes, Virgil said. Did you bring a knife? DC can be a dangerous person if he doesn’t like you, or thinks you’re useful. And trust me, he’s going to like you.

Logan frowned and fingered the small pocket knife in his pocket as he stepped out of the car, letting Virgil out after him.

“Am I going to be in danger?” Logan asked.

Maybe. It depends on if DC’s familiar is there.

“What’s his familiar?”

A werewolf named Remus. He can sniff out creatures, but I don’t know if it extends to, uh, people like you.

“And what am I?”

Don’t ask me that, Logan, I don’t know. Something not right.

Logan didn’t answer, only entered the restaurant. There was a man leaning against the counter. He was dressed in black and green clothes and had a large mustache. He grinned when he saw Logan, immediately waltzing over to him.

“I take it you’re who we were waiting for?” the man asked, grin turning lascivious as he slung an arm around Logan’s waist.

Remus, Virgil said, a growl low in his throat.

“Uhm. Yes, Mr. Remus.”

Remus’ grin grew. “Oh, I like this one,” he purred, leading Logan to the back of the restaurant. The patrons of the restaurant didn’t even seem to notice or care.

Logan looked down at Virgil nervously, being dragged along by Remus. Virgil nudged his hand encouragingly. “So, you’re DC’s familiar?”

“Mhm~” Remus purred. “And you’re Virgil’s.”

“Did you know him?”

“Oh, yes~” Remus said, spinning and pushing Logan against the wall. “He trained with DC when they were younger. Twins are always so stuck together, I should know.”

Logan stiffened and watched Remus anxiously. The mustached werewolf leaned forward and smelled Logan’s neck, purring lightly. “Wh-what are you doing?” Logan squeaked, flinching when Remus slipped a hand into his pocket. “D-don’t do that!”

“Sorry about that,” Remus laughed, pulling away and holding up Logan’s knife. “But we can’t allow this near DC.”

Logan relaxed against the wall, glaring at the werewolf. “Pervert.”

“Perhaps,” Remus said. He sobered quickly. “I am sorry, though. Did I scare you?”

“Quite a bit, actually,” Logan said.

“Sorry. I’d never, uh. Actually do that.” He awkwardly ruffled the younger man’s hair. “C’mon, DC is waiting.”

Logan followed after Remus, still slightly in shock. He looked down to Virgil for help, but the wolf just shrugged as if he didn’t know what to do. Remus stopped outside a door and held up a hand against Logan’s chest.

“Sorry, DC doesn’t like animals. Your dog needs to stay out here.”

“Oh, uh. This is Bones. He’s actually my… epilepsy dog. He can tell when I’m going to have a seizure. Are you sure he can’t come in?”

Remus frowned. “Uhm. I suppose you can. Sorry.” Remus opened the door to the office, leading Logan and Virgil in.

Nice job with the epilepsy thing! Can also explain away visions if you have any! 

“Oh,” Logan muttered. “Yeah, I suppose so. I didn’t even think of that.” One of Remus’ ears pricked up and he looked at Logan, confused. Logan pointedly ignored him, hoping the other familiar would chalk it up to imagining things.

“So. You’ve come for help,�� A different voice said, spinning around in his chair. Logan quirked an eyebrow as the man spun around and around, seemingly having too much fun to care about actually looking cool. “Virgil’s little friend.”

“Yes,” Logan said, sitting down across from him. “Uhm, Mr. DC? Can you stop spinning?”

DC stopped spinning, looking at least a little ashamed of himself. “Right. Sorry. How can I help?”

“There was an accident involving a Wolfsbane Potion,” Logan said, resting a hand on Virgil’s head. “I need help reversing it.”

“I see.” DC turned to Virgil with a smirk. “Hello, Virgil. Seems you’ve gotten yourself into quite the mess.”

“Wait, it isn’t an epilepsy dog…?” Remus muttered.

Pointedly ignoring Remus, DC leaned back in his chair. “And what are you prepared to give for my help?”

Logan looked at Virgil for help. Don’t offer anything. DC is part-Fae, he’ll twist your words around. Wait for him to make an offer.

“What do you want?” Logan asked, leaning against the chair.

“I’m not sure yet,” DC hummed, standing and walking around Logan’s chair. “You’re certainly interesting looking.” He ran a hand through Logan’s hair, humming at the fine strands. “Your eyes and hair are so red, almost like blood. How interesting…”

“I-I’m albino,” Logan said, repressing a shiver at the Faerie’s touch.

“No, you aren’t. I know when people are lying. Besides, your hair is naturally this color. What are you?”

“I don’t know,” Logan said truthfully, grip tightening in Virgil’s fur and inexplicable tears building in his eyes as DC continued to inspect him.

“You were raised by humans,” DC observed.

Logan, stay calm, Virgil said, nuzzling him. Keep your head and your voice level. 

“It’s cute that you and Virgil can still talk like that,” DC cooed. “And interesting that he wants you to stay calm. I wonder what happens if you don’t…” DC looked to the side and nodded.

Virgil growled lowly, body stiff beside him. Logan, it’s imperative that you stay calm.

Logan stood and backed away from DC. “What are you doing? What’s going?” he asked, panic rising in his voice. Logan liked to think of himself as a calm and collected individual. And he generally was, but as much as he could usually control his anxiety, moments like this had a tendency to send it spiralling.

“Don’t worry, sweetie,” a voice behind him said. Logan jumped and spun around, finding himself face to face with a man wearing sunglasses and a leather jacket. “This won’t hurt ya much.” The man pulled out a small knife and grabbed Logan’s arm, holding him still despite the other man’s determined struggling. He pressed the knife against Logan’s arm, dragging it downwards and forming a long, deep cut.

“Stop!” Logan yelled, yanking his arm back, tears gathering in his eyes.

Logan, stay calm, Virgil urged, nuzzling him. Let’s just get out of here. Logan nodded and backed towards the door.

“Don’t let him leave!” The sunglassed man said, looking at DC and saying something in a language Logan didn’t know.

Remus stepped in between Logan and the door. “So sorry,” he laughed. “But I have my orders.” Virgil growled and jumped on the werewolf.

Logan, you need to calm down, he said, voice as soothing as possible as he held Remus’ throat in his jaw. DC held up a hand to stall the sunglassed man, recognizing the threat in Virgil’s posture. Logan took a few deep breaths, backing towards Virgil.

The man in sunglasses shot forward and grabbed Logan’s arm, pulling him against his chest and burying his face in his neck. Logan stiffened at the feeling of fangs poised against his neck.

DC grinned. “It seems we’re at a stand still. You have one of my familiars, I have yours,” DC said to Virgil, licking his lips. “And what an interesting familiar he is.”

“Leave me alone!” Logan said. The vampire holding him laughed, digging his fangs into his throat. “I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!”

Immediately, it was as if the world fell to a standstill. The vampire behind him immediately let go and stumbled back. Remus and Virgil cried out in pain, and DC clamped his hands over his ears.

Logan panted softly, looking around the room anxiously. “Wh-what’s going on?” he asked, tears leaking down his face. “I don’t understand!”

Calm down, Logan. Let’s get out of here. Virgil carefully backed away from the three men in the room, tugging Logan by his shirt. Logan stumbled a bit, but followed the wolf out. Logan looked around at the vines that now crept over the walls and broken windows of the restaurant as he and Virgil left the room, taking deep breaths to calm himself.

“Virgil, what’s going on?” he asked, significantly calmer but still a bit overwhelmed.

Let’s find someplace safe and I’ll explain.

“Good. Because there’s a lot I don’t understand right now.”

I know. But let’s find somewhere safe before I can explain.  I have a friend who can help get you patched up.

The car ride to Virgil’s second ‘friend’ was quiet and tense. Logan spent all of it in pain at the cut on his arm and the punctures in his neck. Neither had stopped bleeding, and Logan was scared that they never would. He was eager not to make passing out a habit, but the woozy feeling in his head seemed to be trying to combat that wish.

“Why do I feel sick?” Logan asked faintly, stopping the car outside a veterinarians office.

It’s either blood loss or the vampire’s venom. Given what you are, I’m inclined to say venom. Wait in the car, I’ll get Patton to come help you out.

With that, Virgil was out of the car and into the office, leaving Logan alone to laminate on his thoughts. He returned a few minutes later, a young man with curly blonde hair and blue eyes in tow. The man, who Logan assumed was the Patton that Virgil mentioned, seem worried as he helped Logan out of the car and into his office.

The office was… not a place Logan would like to spend a lot of time. It was pink and had painted paw prints all over and was, in general, a headache-inducing place to sit. Patton puttered about at his side, bandaging the injuries and feeding him some sort of medicine that was probably only meant for dogs, but might have been for humans, too. Across from him, sat Virgil, looking intimidating and pensive.

Logan, tell me what you know about Alraune. 

[imladris-soldier]

Lashes (pt 15)

Bill Williamson is a racist asshole. Everyone knows it. They just punch him and go on about their day. When a Lakota woman joins the gang, everyone expects things to go on as normal, slurs and all, and for a time, it does. But her curiosity gets the better of her, and she finds that hatred is something learned - which means it can be unlearned, if given time, care, and patience. And she has plenty of those… the first two, anyway.

Bill Williamson x OC

Days passed in the swamp as Dutch investigated potential leads for money in the nearby, abhorred city of Saint Denis. Apparently, Angelo Bronte had turned out to be in some way a friend to the gang instead of an enemy. Getting Jack back hadn't been nearly as difficult as they had anticipated. Things were looking up. Again. Why then did it feel so... off?

Things only got stranger one afternoon when Bill and Hosea approached Star with ever so slightly nervous expressions. She looked up from where she was sharpening her knife, taking in both of their looks before sitting back and crossing her arms over her chest. “What?”

“We've got a favor to ask,” Hosea began, voice chipper but unsure.

“Ok.”

“So, Dutch has accepted some invitations to a party in the city. At the Mayor's house, apparently. Mr. Bronte invited us.”

“Uh huh.”

“Dutch wants to bring along a woman who can get into circles that us men can't. To help us find some leads, see. We was wondering if you might join us.”

“Who's us?”

“Well, me and Bill here. And Dutch and Arthur.”

Star sat there, observing the way her lover wrung his hands slightly and didn't make eye contact. “Why not ask the others? Why me? I'm just going to stick out like a sore thumb. A Lakota in a fancy dress? That's just asking for trouble.”

“I told you she wouldn't want to do it,” Bill admonished.

Hosea turned to him and threw up his hands. “Well maybe if you told her the real reason instead of recruiting me to make things up she'd change her mind!” With that, he walked away, leaving Bill to clean up the fallout of what he'd said.

Star's eyebrow arched, and she simply waited for the truth to spill out. She didn't have to wait long.

“Dutch asked me to go along on this mission,” Bill explained. “Now, I-I-I dunno why. You know me. Ain't exactly the sort for polite society. Don't know a dining fork from a pitchfork. But I... I really wanna impress him, ya know? Show him I can be trusted with these sorts'a things. 'Course, I'd feel better if... well if you was there with me, and Dutch wanted us to bring a woman, so... but I knew you wouldn't want to. Figured you'd find a reason you shouldn't go. So I asked Hosea to ask you. Thought maybe comin' from him it would mean somethin'.”

Star's expression softened considerably as the explanation went on. It was all very Bill, and it broke her heart a little to know how insecure he was about it all – even coming to her and asking for help. “Why didn't you just tell me that?”

He rubbed the back of his neck, staring at his shoes. “Didn't want you to think I was bein' stupid. I dunno.” He shrugged, defeated.

The woman sighed, putting her knife back in her boot before standing and joining him. “Bill, darling, every reason you gave for wanting me along is valid. And I understand why you want to go. I'm just sorry that you felt you had to hide it from me.”

He shook his head. “It ain't nothin' you done. I... I just ain't used to askin' for help. Besides... I wanna be the one protectin' you. Not the other way around.”

Star smiled, taking his hand. “I'm sure there will come a time for that. In the meantime, let me help you. Tell Dutch I'll go. It might be a fiasco, but I'll go.”

“You will?”

“For you? Sure.” She held up a hand. “But, you don't have to tell Dutch that.”

Bill smiled, hooking an arm around her shoulders to pull her in for a kiss to the top of her head. “Thanks. I'll let him know.”

“Guess I better find a dress.”

He chuckled into her hair. “That'll be a sight.”

“Oh yeah? And what about you in a suit?”

His face went slack and slightly white. “Well I... I didn't think'a that.”

Star laughed softly. “Guess you better start thinking about it. See what the others plan to do. Maybe there's a shopping trip in the works.”

“Right. I'll look into it. See you later?”

“Of course.”

They part ways and went about the business of the camp. Dutch found Star later in the day and confirmed with her what Bill had told him. He seemed surprised that she was willing to go, naming some of the same concerns she had mentioned, but it was easy enough to lie to him, though perhaps they were simply misdirections. “I want to see this city at least once before we leave. It's probably the only chance I'm going to get to attend something like this. Just want to help out the gang.”

A shopping trip was, in fact, planned for the evening of the event, and the party-goers rode off together to attend to it. Star, for her part, was a bundle of nerves. She didn't want to see the faces of the city folk when she walked into the tailor's looking for a fancy dress. Too often she'd watched noses curl up in barely hidden disgust just because she existed, and that had been in towns like Valentine with no delusions of being high-brow. But, this was for Bill's sake, not her own, and that made it easier.

When Saint Denis appeared on the horizon, Dutch rode even with Star and asked, “Well? What do you think of this peak of civilization?”

The cluster of ugly buildings belched out black clouds of smoke. The waters around it were filled with boats, coming and going. The smell that it added to the already pungent marshland scent was... overwhelming.

“This is a city? It seems more like an architectural pustule.”

Dutch chuckled deeply. “My thoughts exactly. There's still time to turn back.”

“That would not be very brave of me.”

“Between you and me, I might not be feelin' so brave myself.”

They shared a smile, then fell quiet for the rest of the ride.

Hosea led the way to the tailor. Star was tempted to look around at all the people and the buildings, but there were so many people and buildings that riding distracted in any way might prove perilous. Instead, she kept her eyes on Hosea and tried to follow his movements precisely. Rhiannon tossed her head nervously, especially when a clanging vehicle of some sort went by on tracks in the road.

Bill positioned himself and Brown Jack to be between Star, Rhiannon, and the tracks to shield them from any other passing trolleys, casting a concerned glance their direction, but saying nothing. Star felt better having him there.

When the group finally arrived at their destination, Star dismounted and moved quickly to Bill's side. She could already feel the looks – the gazes that screamed you don't belong here. Still, one thing that she hadn't anticipated was the variations of color the city would hold. Though she had yet to see anyone that looked like her, there were many who looked like Lenny and Tilly and Javier. Knowing that was a small comfort.

Dutch led the way into the store, announcing their presence with his charming, booming voice, and in moments, they were all being ushered away to be fitted for something appropriate. Star was loathe to be parted from the men, but decency demanded it, so she followed behind the assistant girl obediently. The girl was kind enough, asking what event they were going to, then proceeding to swoon about it. As she showed Star into a small room, she smiled and said the tailor would be with her shortly.

Star sat on a chair in the middle of the room, trying not to allow her anxieties to get the better of her. These were the sorts of things women did all the time. The tailor would not think it odd, so neither should she.

It took perhaps ten minutes for the tailor to join her, and the man was immediately pleasant. He asked what sort of styles she liked, and when she stared at him in stunned silence, he just laughed and said they would try them all. So they did.

It took time, but eventually the tailor made Star believe that she looked nice in a deep green evening gown. The chest was cut in a square shape, exposing a great deal of her skin, but the frilly shoulders kept the dress secure. The fabric pinched close at the waist before flaring out in the skirt that dragged the ground slightly. There were sewn embellishments on the skirt in a flowing pattern, adding a bit of elegance to an otherwise fairly simple dress.

“There now,” the tailor murmured as she emerged from behind the dressing wall. “Don't we look lovely?”

Star looked at herself in the mirror, unable to reconcile her understanding of herself with the image before her. While it wasn't a look she intended to maintain, she was not unhappy with it. “Thank you, sir,” she said quietly, swirling the skirt around her legs a bit. “I believe this will suit me fine.”

She took a moment to braid her hair, then followed the tailor back out to the main room. The men had already finished, and they stood in a small group looking far more dapper than she'd ever thought to see them. Something about the absurdity of it all caused a giddiness to bubble in her chest, and she laughed to herself.

The laugh drew the attention of the men, and they all gaped, but none quite so much as Bill. Star shuffled forward, still unaccustomed to the length of the gown and the shoes that went with it. “Well?” she asked.

Dutch took her gloved hand and brought it to his lips in a sweeping gesture. “I have never seen somethin' so lovely in all my life,” he answered.

Hosea laughed and shooed him away. “You'll make the girl blush, Dutch.”

“Oh, but I am tryin',” he chuckled.

“Ya look real pretty, Star,” Arthur said with a kind smile. “Like a real lady.”

“Oh, I wouldn't go that far,” Star laughed softly. “But something sort of close, maybe.”

After paying for the wares, Dutch, Arthur, and Hosea made their way outside to wait for the coach that Dutch had 'hired' – conveniently driven by Lenny. The details of that particular heist had not been explained to Star, but she found it highly amusing regardless.

Bill stayed where he was, staring. It was his attentions that made Star blush, brown eyes falling to her feet. “So?” she asked.

“You... yer gorgeous,” he breathed.

Her eyes came back to him, sparkling from the compliment. He'd slicked his hair back, and the suit he'd donned fit him just right. One could look at the pair and believe for a second that they'd been rich their whole lives.

“You look so good!” she cried, smiling. “Who'd have thought that a little hair pomade and some fancy fabric would turn you into a gentleman?”

He rolled his eyes, but she saw the smile dancing around on his lips as he turned toward the door. “Come on, you.”

They joined the others outside, and it wasn't long before Lenny pulled up on a carriage, dressed to the hilt as well. He winked at them and called, “Did you order a coach, sirs?”

“We surely did!” Dutch replied, opening the door for his friends. “We are going to a party at the mayor's house.”

“I took the liberty of stocking your cabin with some celebratory alcohol. I hope you don't mind.”

Dutch laughed. “My boy, you are ever so resourceful.”

They all climbed in, and Star sat herself between Bill and Hosea, accepting the glass of champagne that Dutch held out to her. The boys were quicker about their consumption and soon got to laughing uncontrollably about some story or another. Star was mostly laughing at them under the guise of laughing with them, but the mood in the coach was just so undeniably jovial.

“I ain't never been to a ball,” Arthur laughed.

“Truth be told, neither have I,” Dutch replied.

Hosea waved them off. “I've been to quite a few in my time.” He winked. “Fine pickings.”

“Oh, no, no, no, no. No pickpocketing! We are here to make real contacts.”

“What kind of contacts?” Arthur asked.

“Well, I dunno. We'll find what we can. All I know for sure is we are goin' to a party at the mayor's house, and the guest of honor is the worst crook in town! I am sure that we will find something.”

This led to another round of guffaws that Star waited out before speaking up. “Boys, we need to decide what my story is.” Confused eyes fell on her, and she went on, “This isn't a party with the gang. This is high society, and I... I don't fit the mold.”

“And you think we do?” Arthur replied.

She smiled and shook her head. “That's not what I mean. Arthur, I'm Lakota. You boys are not. You might be a little rough around the edges, but me? They're going to look at me and see nothing but a savage in a dress.”

And just like that, she landed on an idea.

“Which is... exactly what we're going to let them see.”

Dutch, canted his head slightly. “I don't follow.”

“During many of the military actions against my people, women were taken against their will to be the wives of soldiers. Or, more accurately, slaves. A tamed jewel on their arm as a mark of their victories. I'm sure Saint Denis has its share of such men. Bill was army. Let me play his spoil of war. It will be cause for less questions, and we could use a few less questions while we're scoping the place for robbery leads.”

“She makes a good point,” Hosea agreed.

Dutch nodded thoughtfully. “You sure you can handle bein' a slave for a night?”

The question was a tease, but there was an underlying truth to it. “For a night, sure.”

“Fine. Then that's what we'll do. You keep at Bill's side and see what you can find out. If you're nothin' more than a jewel, well... what harm could you be?” A slightly sinister smile spread over his face. “Ears and eyes open, madam.”

“Yes, sir,” she replied with a nod.

The carriage pulled up in front of the mayor's house, and they all loaded out. Dutch, Hosea, and Arthur went out the side facing the house while Bill and Star went out the opposite door. Once the pair were standing with the coach between them and everything else, Bill caught her elbow and pulled her close to murmur, “I... I don't wanna treat you like a slave.”

“It's just an act,” she replied, pulling up her elbow-length gloves. “Unless you plan on answering to every horse's ass in there who wants to know why you're an Indian lover.”

“Well...”

“You're not, alright? As long as we are here, I am nothing more than an object. You won me. You killed my family and took me from my home to show off to the world. And you have to treat me that way.”

The man seemed confused and slightly hurt by it all, but he just nodded, offering the crook of his elbow for her to put her arm through. She did so, took a deep breath, and then allowed her shoulders to sag ever so slightly. Her eyes fell to the ground, and she tried to convince herself that the man at her side had broken her will. It was not easy.

They walked around the carriage to join the others. The doorman confiscated their weapons, accepted their invitations, then led them through the house. Dutch and Arthur were ushered up the stairs to meet with Bronte while Hosea, Bill, and Star were led out to the back porch to await their friends.

Though she avoided eye contact with everyone, Star allowed her gaze to sweep over the house and the party. Everything was glittering and dancing in the soft warmth of evening. Had the company been different, it might have been a pleasant party. Though, what did she know of such things?

Men and women mingled in small groups on the lawn, talking of stock prices and industry. It was like a foreign tongue, and Star was not sure what to make of it. Where there was industry, there was money, but how did one steal stock?

Before too long, Dutch and Arthur reappeared. There was a tension radiating from Dutch that couldn't be placed, but it made Star slightly uneasy. Whatever had been said with Bronte had riled him.

“Ok,” he murmured. “Arthur, go find the mayor, if you can. Stay outta trouble, and steal nothin' unless it's information.”

“Got it.”

Arthur jogged down the stairs and joined the party as Dutch turned to the rest. “Hosea, you go find us some place to rob.”

“On it.”

“Bill, Bronte pointed out some military men off that'a way. Go see if you can warm up to 'em. Make us some new friends if you can.”

“I... right. Ok.”

“Star...” He paused and gave her a tiny smile. “Keep your mouth shut and your head down. See what you can overhear.”

She nodded, avoiding his gaze and stepping closer to Bill. Dutch chuckled. “Atta girl. I'm gonna find out if Cornwall and what's-his-name, Milton, know we're here.”

They split up. Bill meandered in the direction Dutch had indicated, though his steps were hesitant. Star mentally begged him to find some confidence, even if it was contrived. “Just pretend you're the biggest honcho in the army,” she whispered. “Use enough truth that it sounds believable, but embellish a little bit.”

“I don't know what that means,” he hissed back.

It was too late to worry about it as they had come up on the officers and their wives. Bill cleared his throat awkwardly and greeted, “Good evenin', gentlemen! Ladies.”

They turned, appraising the pair down their noses. “And who might you be?” one of the men asked.

“Well, I'm... Sergeant Bill Martin. 7th Cavalry, D Troop.”

“Ah!” the man cried, smiling. “A Garryowen! Come, join us!” Bill and Star joined the circle as the man went on, “Knew a few fellas in the 7th. All of 'em were fine, upstandin' men. How long you serve, Sergeant?”

“Near about seven years. Yourself?”

“Oh, I'm a career man. Never have left!” He laughed.

The conversation wandered off into military logistics and talk of commanders and other things that Star knew nothing about. Bill seemed to keep up with it, so she chose to listen to the conversations happening around them instead. At least until her presence was brought into the spotlight.

“I don't believe you've introduced your companion, sir,” one of the wives practically sneered.

“Oh, her? This is... well I don't quite remember what her name was before I found her. She-she answers to Abigail now. Proper, Christian name.

“Nice to meet you, Abigail,” the woman replied.

Star bowed her head slightly and mumbled a greeting, only to be nudged hard by Bill who pressed, “Speak so everyone can hear ya.”

“Nice to meet you, ma'am,” Star repeated, louder.

That seemed to satisfy the crowd, and she was allowed to slip into obscurity once more, though they went on talking about her as if she wasn't there.

“Where'd you find that one, Sergeant?” one of the men asked. “I'd heard of men taking prairie trophies, but I'd not yet seen one in the flesh.”

Bill glanced at her, then answered, “Caught her fleein' from Wounded Knee.”

Star's insides twisted up, but she couldn't fault him. Enough truth to make it believable.

“Ran her down, trussed her up, took her home. I like to-to-to bring her out for parties like this. Reminds us all what we're fightin' for out there. Taming the wilds, as it were.”

“Well, I sure never thought to see one in an evening gown.”

“Right,” Bill laughed. “You, go get me a drink.”

He shoved Star off slightly, and she hurried to do as told, silently thanking him for finding an excuse to free her from the verbal assault. Though it was mostly as she had expected, it still stung and riled her all the same. Bill had fallen into his role well which only made it worse. She didn't believe he meant of word of it, but it was just a little too close to the man he had been when they met. For a second she could almost imagine that he'd never changed at all, and it was a terrifying thing to think of.

She stood at the drink table, pouring a glass of punch and taking a moment for herself. Much to her surprise, she was joined by a man she recognized – one she had never thought to see again.

“Eagle Flies?” she asked, leaning to catch his gaze.

He looked like he was going to be hostile for a moment, but when he registered her identity, shock replaced every other emotion. “Wicapiwakan? What...? How have you come to be here?”

“It's a... very long story. And you?”

“My father is here petitioning the mayor on behalf of our tribe. They seek to move us again.”

“Again? Have the Wapiti not suffered enough?”

“A sentiment we share, though I do not see what talking will gain us. This will lead to war.”

Though that revelation troubled her, it made her smile slightly as well. “That sounds like the man who massacred a camp full of army men for the deaths of a few Lakota. Without which I would not be here.”

“Yes. What became of you after we freed you that night?”

“I fell in with a gang of outlaws and have been living with them. It's been a trying road, though not without its benefits.”

He smirked, his eyes slipping up and down her figure. “I take it these outlaws bought you your fine dress?”

She rolled her eyes. “We are here on business and had to look the part.”

“No matter what you and I wear... we will never look the part, my friend.”

It was true. Horrid, but true. And evidence of that truth was marching through the crowd in their direction.

Star saw Bill coming only a few seconds before he arrived. She quickly looked over at her friend and hissed, “Whatever is about to happen, I must ask that you play along.”

“I don't understand.”

“Please. Just do as I say.”

Bill lumbered up, his entire body language suggesting rage, but his voice suggesting panic. “They saw ya over here talkin' to this fella and they sent me to deal with ya. What do I do?”

Eagle Flies stared in confusion while Star's eyes went over Bill's shoulder to the group he'd left. They were all waiting expectantly for her to be put back into her place. “Well, we've already been speaking too long. They'll assume I'm talking back.”

“What is this game you're playing?” Eagle Flies murmured, casting a suspicious glance at Bill. “Do you need help?”

“No, my friend. We are pretending to be something we are not in the hopes of gaining information. Please believe that, as what is about to happen is not going to be pleasant. Bill, hit me.”

“Wh... what?” Bill stammered. “Why?”

“You've well established yourself as a violent man to them, and they're expecting a show. I've already spent too long defying you. Hit me.”

“No. I'm not gonna...”

“I swear to god, Bill, if you do not hit me everything is going to fall apart. Do you want Dutch to be disappointed again?”

“N-no. But I can't...”

“You can. Eagle Flies, where are you and your father staying? I will seek you out again.”

“We have a meeting with a city counselor in two days on High Street. Meet us there. Perhaps you can talk some sense into my father.”

“I will. Now, Bill, god damn it.”

It seemed to take every single ounce of will in Bill's body to do it, but he backhanded Star clean across the face. It was a good hit. The sound of skin against skin caused the surrounding crowd to gasp and murmur, but when they saw the situation, most were content to ignore it. Eagle Flies recoiled, staring in shock and confusion, but then he slipped away into the crowd.

Bill grabbed Star's elbow and dragged her back to the military men and their wives. “Forgive me, gentlemen,” he said when they arrived. “Seems she still thinks she can talk to me like she ain't the dirt on my boots.”

“No apologies necessary, Sergeant. You've done the right thing.”

They talked a little while longer, and Star stood, staring at her feet as blood trickled down her chin from her busted lip. The act was beginning to be too much, and she hadn't even found anything of use for Dutch. Though, running into Eagle Flies presented another concern entirely. It had been a long time since she had worried about anything outside of the gang, but now...

When the fireworks started, the crowd immediately became enamored, turning to face the sparkling expanse of sky. In that moment of distraction, Bill took Star's elbow and pulled her away, through some bushes to a secluded section of garden.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I can't do it no more,” he answered. “I ain't gonna stand there and listen to them talk about ya like that.” He reached up to brush away the tendril of blood from her mouth. “I... I fuckin' hit ya. Yer bleedin'. And for what?”

“To be fair, I didn't give you much choice.”

“I ain't doin' it. We're gonna go back to the house and wait for the others. I don't care what Dutch says.”

It was almost as if he'd hit her again. “You don't?”

“No. Arthur and Hosea'll find somethin'. Ain't no reason for you to suffer like this for a score. Or me, for that matter.”

She looked up, amused. “You?”

“What, you think I like hittin' you? You think I like pretending that you ain't the most valuable thing I ever had? Well, I don't. All these... these high society, high'n'mighty pigeon shits can fuck off and die.”

Star grabbed his suit jacket and pulled him in for a kiss, despite the pain it caused her lip. “Remind me never to doubt your acting abilities again.”

He snorted. “Yeah. Sign me up for the next stage production of Bullshit and the Company it Keeps.”

She broke into laughter. “Come on, then. Let's go.”

The pair made their way back to the house using as hidden a path as they could manage. Dutch was standing on the back porch, so instead of finding anywhere to linger, they joined him. “Find anything?” he asked.

“No,” Star replied, eyes sweeping the party once more. “Lots of idle gossip. Some interesting racism. That's about it.”

Dutch eyes fell on her lip and then passed between the two of them. “What happened?”

“Just playing our parts.”

Arthur emerged from the house behind them, patting his chest pocket which made Dutch chuckle. Hosea came jogging up the stairs with a grin. “Gentlemen and lady, I believe we are done here,” he said.

“You got somethin'?”

“Oh, just a bit of somethin'.”

It made Star feel better knowing that it had not all been in vain. Even Bill seemed to have relaxed slightly.

“Good work. All of ya,” Dutch said as he led the way out. “What'd you find out, Hosea?”

“Well, there's plenty of money moves through here, of course, and I think I found out how we can grab some of it. A big bank. A real one. But not yet.”

“A city bank?”

“Maybe. And a stuffed one. If we're gonna leave, that could be the one thing we need.”

“There's also that trolley car station that Signor Bronte told us about, and I heard somethin' about a high stakes poker game.”

They emerged out the front door and made their way to collect their weapons. As they did so, Lenny pulled up with the carriage. “Alright, let's go home,” Dutch sighed, climbing in.

They all piled in, significantly more weary and quiet than when they had arrived. When she was finally sitting down, Star heaved a relieved sigh and leaned over against Bill. He put an arm around her, holding her close to him. To her surprise, he was the first to speak once they were underway.

“I ain't ever felt so awkward in all my life,” he said. “All those folk so pleased with themselves. Everybody thinkin' they're better'n everybody else. If you ask me, it's more like torture!”

Dutch nodded. “Well, that's sort of the point, isn't it: let the people torture themselves.”

“Here's them papers I took,” Arthur said, pulling them from his jacket pocket and handing them to Dutch.

“Anybody see you take this?”

“I don't think so.”

“Hm. I might have an idea. Let me think on it.”

The rest of the ride back to Shady Belle was silent.

[bambamwolf87]

"New Neighbors" Ch 3

Summary: Loki and Thor are living at Stark Tower. You're a new hire, hired to help the brothers learn more about the ways of life on Earth.

Thor has declined to go with Loki and you...

Stepping back into your living room, Loki spots you instantly.

“Aren't you a ray of sunshine? Pardon the cliche phrase, but that yellow makes you stand out. In a good way, or so I think.”

Trying not to blush at the long comment.

“Thank you, I was aiming for something less daunting than black and gray.”

Loki looks down at himself, he is in a black suit jacket and slacks, with a light green shirt and a dark green tie. Thinking it has more color than usual for himself, he stands. Holding out an arm to you, with a soft grin upon his face. You hesitate for a moment, but give in and place your hand on his sleeve. Getting a cab to head out for today's adventure.

First place was to go pick out a smartphone for Loki. Getting out at the phone store, you lead him inside. Yes you could have stayed in the Tower and showed him pictures, but you wanted him to hold the item to help him decide. You had always prefer a hands on experience.

Loki walks around the counters, eyeing the pieces on display. No associate approached him. You find one, to get their help in opening the Avengers account while he's browsing. You meet Loki where he is standing, as he is swiping and tapping on some screens.

“Find something you like?”

“I don't know, this is entertaining to me, like one of the video games Groot plays.”

“Would you like to try this model? If you don't like it, we can exchange it within the first few weeks, if you are unhappy with it.”

He tries to pick it up, unknowing how displays work. Placing your hand over his, you look up to meet his eyes.

“You don't take that one, that's just for an example to see and try. We'll be getting you a brand new one.”

Luckily he liked a phone with a similar system to yours. Making him an email was going to be a challenge. Tony said all employees had email addresses with nicknames to help prevent hacking… Tony has had a few nicknames for Loki, all you wish to avoid.

Remembering Thor’s was ‘dawn_of _snakes’, using it for some inspiration. ‘dusk_and_daggers’. Typing it and letting Loki see it, he questioned your choice, “Why did you choose that?”

“It is the opposite of Thor's, his starts with ‘dawn’, you're both so opposite. ‘Daggers’ is due to your weapon of choice.”

Loki was secretly impressed by your knowledge of him. He smirks and nods his approval. Then puts the device into his jacket pocket.

Walking to the nearby library, Loki got to learn of audiobooks, many on disks, some online only. Learning how his email could help him learn more information pleased the prince.

Lunch time comes around, finding an Italian restaurant, you both are seated and the waiter assumes you're a couple. It's made apparent when they offer you a bottle of wine or champagne. Loki just wants a beer, and you get sparkling cider.

Loki keeps observing you, unknowingly to you. You gush about your favorite dishes and desserts that they had in the menu. He committed these to his memory.

He trusts your judgment and gets the same order as you. Getting garlic and shells pasta with shrimp and breadsticks.

Declining on dessert after becoming full, you pout about missing out on the German chocolate cake slice you had your eyes set on. Moving on, to an antique bookstore. Looking for first editions of some authors, you leave Loki to explore for himself.

He remembers that you mentioned him and Thor learning how to cook… what if he could teach himself? Be a step ahead of his big brother. Picking up a few books that were on cooking and food preparation.

You find a handful of books to add to your collection. At the counter, he is waiting for you, as he flips through a magazine. Not looking at his stack of books, you pass your work card to pay for them.

Back inside the Tower, you see Pepper, waving at each other. Tony following a few steps behind her, he waves and calls out to you and Loki. “Nice email, I'd have gone with ‘reindeer-games’, but I'm sure that's already taken. First time you have left this place without Thor. Good to know (y/n) is doing her job well.” Stark winks at you.

“It really didn't feel like work, if I'm to be honest with you. I enjoyed the day out after staying inside the Tower over a week.”

Loki nods, not speaking during the exchange. Tony took it as his queue to go.

Loki doesn't follow to your door this time. He turns to you from his doorway, “Thank you for today. Iron Man was correct, I've not left this building unless with my brother.”

“He has a name, ya know.”

“I'm aware, but since he never calls me by mine, I don't intend to call him by his.”

Rolling your eyes at his childish reasoning.

“Loki, you can't keep being so anti-social. Aren't you lonely? I saw how annoyed you were with Thor. You should make an effort, this is your home.”

He listened to you, but not answering your question. “I'm going to relax, I probably won't see you at the cafeteria tonight.”

Then he goes into his quarters and you hear the door click closed.

You crack open a book and read until you go get dinner, sitting down at an empty table. Until a couple of women sit at your table. Looking up, they're both beautiful, but they had eyes focused on you. Their scrutiny made you nervous.

“Can I help you?” You ask, in case they need any supplies or something.

One was blond, you recognize her as Black Widow. The other you had some knowledge of, as Scarlet Witch. Unfortunately, you didn't know their personal names.

“I'm Natasha, this is Wanda. We’ve seen you around the building the past week. Maybe we could have a girls night sometime.”

Smiling at the invitation, “Uhh, thank you. I'm not a hero, I'm just an employee.”

Wanda spoke next, “You put up with Thor and Loki in the same room this morning, that is heroic in its own way.” The redhead smiled, but then looked sad. “I envy them, they have each other, I'd do anything to have my Twin at my side. Thor can be a bit of a bully, but I'm not sure he realizes it.”

Her words had a ring if truth in your mind.

“Maybe over the weekend, if you're not busy with a mission, I'd like to hang out with you.”

This makes both smile widely.

You go back to your room. Getting into pajamas, of mid-thigh shorts and a t-shirt with matching butterflies on them. Turning in early to bed, you fall asleep quickly.

The next morning you do your morning routine, but just have a light breakfast. Then head to the gym. You see who you can only assume is the Valkyrie Thor mentioned earlier. She looked a bit intimidating. As you get onto the small trampoline, to do a workout, she spots you.

“Wanna wrestle?”

Shaking your head from side to side as a ‘no’. You step off of the trampoline to the elliptical, so you could change and work on cardio. Then you see Thor and Loki come into view. The Valkyrie makes a howling noise, excitement at the blond royal. Loki looks like he doesn't want to be there. She lightly punched Loki's shoulder.

“Why don't you ever spar with me? You could be a formidable challenge, if you tried.”

Your ears perk up as someone gave him a compliment. He shakes his head, making his curling black locks sway around his face.

“I admire and respect you too much to ‘try’.”

“Ha! I knew you let me win on Sakkar!”

Thor chimed in, “I had wondered why you were bound that day… you let her win?”

Loki smiles for the first time since you’ve seen him in the gym room. You believe him.

You finished your workout and made your goal. As you were in the back corner of the room, the brothers hadn't seen you yet.

The woman whistles at you, “I'll go easy on you, promise!”

“I'm not a fighter, I'm more of a klutz.”

You wave at the guys, as you exit.

You have managed to get a shower and then a knock comes from your door. You try not to panic, as you're not expecting company. It's almost lunch time, who would be at your door?!

Throwing on your terry cloth robe, and a towel wrapped around your dripping hair. You make sure everything is covered, expecting Tony or Pepper. Opening the door a few inches, you see Loki. He is holding a tray. It had a few plates on it. You can't see what's under the lids.

“Yes? What can I help you with Loki?”

He looks up from his feet, to see you. His mouth opens and closes, but no words spill out. He makes a quick glance at your attire.

“I was told you hadn't been to lunch yet. So I thought to bring it to you. Although, I think I really do have bad timing.”

His face flushed pink, even his ears were turning red. It was cute. Add his crooked grin, you couldn't help but usher him inside.

“Get in here! Quick, before someone else sees me like this.”

He sets the tray onto your small dining table. You pull out a chair and sit down. He looks oddly at you.

“Are you going to stand while eating, or did you not bring anything for yourself?”

Blinking his eyes a few times rapidly, his raven eyelashes fanning his flushed cheeks. Loki seats himself and looks into your eyes.

“I wanted to surprise you. Show you I could learn something on my own. Lunch is from the cafeteria, but dessert I made myself.”

Removing the lids, the hot lunch was teriyaki chicken with rice and vegetables.

“Shouldn't you get dressed?”

“Then my food would be cold! I can eat and dry out at the same time.”

You had no idea what your state of dress was doing to Loki. Surely he's seen plenty of bodies, and yours was still covered. Granted pulling a couple of large strings that make a belt and it would be exposed. Eating the warm meal, you were delightfully surprised by his gesture. When finished, he clears his throat. Looking up, starting deeply into his eyes, like you could drown in them.

He breaks the silence, “You ought to get dressed before you get sick.”

You giggle at the idea, he's more mothering than you had expected. He starts to tap his long fingers on the table's surface, seemingly as if inpatient. He wasn't smiling.

“Oh alright, gosh. You're such a worrywart.”

That was a new name he hadn't been called before. To be fair, he didn't know what came over him. His need to impress this small woman. Then not wishing to witness her to become ill, especially because of his arrival.

You return, in dark jeans and a green silk blouse. Not even knowing that all shades of green were his favorite color. Oh how he watched the silk cling to you, as you must've still had damp skin and hair. He realizes how good you look in his color.

“Okay, happy now?” You do a twirl.

“Very.” The tone to that one word makes your breath catch for a moment.

“I made this for you.” He opens the last lid, its a cake. Looks like a German chocolate cake, maybe eight inches round, at least 2 layers tall. You smell the scent of chocolate, but can't believe he made it.

“Now, be honest!”

“I am. One of the books I got yesterday at the bookstore, it had a recipe and directions to make what I'd heard you say you wanted at the restaurant. I went to the kitchens, getting the supplies and bringing them up to my room's kitchen. It took me two tries. The first taste tester was my brother. Not by choice, but because he barged into my room and cut himself a slice. Joke was on him!” A deep chuckle filled the air.

“And what about the second attempt? Who tried that?” You ask nervously.

“Oh I took the cake to the kitchens, to have the cooks try it and tell me of my wrong doing. Then made it again and they tried it, thankfully. The two available said it was correct. So that's why it's missing a couple of slices. So ta-da!”

The look of pride upon his face made you smile. Reassured that it was edible, you take a slice and put one on each of your plates. He watches you as you cut into it with your fork. You look at it for a moment, then sliding it into your mouth. Your eyes close as the bite melts on your tongue.

“The problem on the first one was the frosting was made wrong. It is a messy mix, but it looks like the picture I saw.”

Opening your eyes, as you stare at the prince who cooked two cakes for you.

“I'm completely flattered and floored that you did that just for me. No man has ever baked a cake for me.”

After eating the cake, Loki puts the rest into your fridge.

“I won't see you for the next few days, maybe a week. I was invited to go on a mission. I thought I'd go try to make more friends. Valkyrie, Spiderman, and Stark are going. The sorcerer, Dr. Strange is recovering from his last adventure. They think my magic could be helpful.”

You stand up from the table. You lean towards Loki, wanting to hug him. He lets you wrap your arms around his waist. Your head on his shoulder. He finally closes his arms over your back.

“Don't worry or work too hard in my absence. Teach my brother something. Don't take any crap from him.”

You force a laugh. He pulls back, looking down to kiss your forehead. Loosening your arms as he walks out of the embrace. He smiles and waves as he leaves your apartment. You're shaken in a way you don't understand… the day was only halfway through, but you had lost the motivation to do much more than curl up on your couch.

(End of chapter 3!)

[fearofaherobrine]

Roleplay Server Log #269

“Staff Meeting, Cn the Birb, Rudolph's Power”

[CN] Pushes the door open to the castle, he's on a mission to find crayons-

[Stev] -Limping around the castle on his own. NK was probably still curled up  partly on the bed he left him at.-

[Stev] -Freezes and looks at the entering CN-

[CN] Is trying to be sneaky but isn't very successful-

[Stev] .... What doing?

[CN] Jumps in surprise, not having realized Stev was there- Nothing!

[Stev] -Raises an eyebrow at CN- ... You sure?

[CN] - Yes!

[Stev] ... Do you.. want help with that "Nothing"?

[CN] - No!  Because I'm not doing anything!

[Stev] -Gives CN a flat look- .... Aaalright then, lil guy. -Goes back to his limpy wanderings, although he does glance at CN again here and there-

[CN] Is trying to sneakily look through chests-

[Stev] ... Soooo... What are you not looking for, hmmmm?

[CN] - NOTHING!

[Stev] Not looking for nothing? Double negative. Ya walked into that one, bud.

[CN] - I didn't say that!

[Stev] Yeah ya did.

[CN] - Did not!

[Stev] What ya lookin for for real though, ya don't just go peeking through chests for "nothing"

[CN] - I am not peeking!

[Stev] Alright, trying to look in without getting spotted, but failing miserably?

[CN] - NO!

[Stev] -Snort-

[CN] Huffs and crosses his arms and stomps his foot a little-

-Click click click click here comes a birb-

[CN] Tries to hide around a corner-

-Clickclickclickclick-

[Firebird] -Looks up at Stev as he skitters in-

[Stev] Uhhh....

[Firebird] -Scree-

-Tiny chest squeak as CN looks in another one-

[Firebird] -Clickclick click straight for chest-

[CN] Yelps as he spots firebird-

[Firebird] -Zoom for teeny notch, screeing-

[Stev] ... Huh.

[CN] - I'm not doing anything!

[Firebird] -Hops onto chest and gives CN a firm look-

[CN] Ducks down a little and crawls off the chest-

[Firebird] -Soft disappointed Scree-

[CN] - But I wasn't doing anything!

2:25 PM] *** Missed group call. ***

[CN] Shifts a bit nervously-

[Firebird] -Just keeps disappointed screeing, but softer at CN-

[CN] Finally breaks down and scuffs shoe on floor- I just wanted some crayons...

[Firebird] -Ceases Screeing and just, deflates, giving a surprised expression- ... Really?

[CP] - I ran out coloring the letters!

[Firebird] Have you ever heard of asking?

[CN] Does not answer, knowing they've had this conversation before-

[CN] - I just wanted more colors...

[Firebird] -Covers face with a wing and sighs deeply into the feathers- I don't even know where anyone keeps crayons.. I'm more used to ink and a quill....

[CN] - I heard Lie say that Doc and TLOT make them!

[Firebird] Then wouldn't it make sense to ask one of them?

[CN] - Don't wanna

[Firebird] And why not? Are you going to be like.... the... Big Meanie? And just take things without asking?

[CN] - No!  I'm nothing like the big meanie!

[Firebird] You were going to steal crayons.

[Stev] .... What's a crayon?

[CN] - Nothing!

[Stev] -Exasperated sigh-

[Firebird] -Turns on chest to Stev- It's a wax... drawing... thing.

[Stev] ... Oh.

[CN] - Can you make them Firebird?

[Firebird] Afraid not. That was more my brines talent... I preferred the old ways.

[CN] - Oh...  But I don't wanna ask them...

[Firebird] And why not?

[CN] Shrugs, he's still not very comfortable with them mostly because he hasn't spent much time with them-

[Firebird] Do you even have a reason?

[CN] Nervous noises and fragments of words-

[Firebird] ... -Leans in and smooshes primaries against CN's face- Slowly. Enunciate.

[CN] - I... I...- Mumble mumble mumble

[Firebird] Louder.

[CN] - I...  I just don't wanna

[Firebird] Wwwwhhhyyyyy?

[CN] Shrugs again-

[Firebird] That's not a reason. Let's go find Doc to ask! -Shifts to his other form and easily scoops the teeny notch up into his arms before stalking off through the castle. Yelling for Doc at the top of his lungs. Bravo.-

[CN] Squeaks as he's picked up and carried away-

[Deer] Is upstairs feeding the bats in the library-

[Firebird] Deer! You'll do! -Struts up with CN in his arms- Do you know where crayons or Doc are?

[Deer] - Doc?  I don't know at the moment, but we might have some crayons down in the lab

[Firebird] Lead the way? I actually don't know my way through the whole castle yet...

[Deer] - Sure- She hands off the last morsel of food to Blinky and wipes her hands off on her clothes before leading the two NOTCH's out, making sure the door is shut behind them.  She takes them down the stairs and through the vine room into the lab- Now lets see, where did we leave those crayons?

[CN] Looks at the Guardian in it's tank-

[Deer] Digs through a couple of chests before finding the crayons- Ah, here we go!

[Firebird] -Swishes tail feathers a bit, looking around himself-

[CN] Quietly- Are you sure it can't get us?

[Firebird] If it could, we'd probably be dead, CN.

[CN] - Okay...

[Deer] Hands the crayons to Firebird- Here, don't be afraid to stop by for more when you need more

[Firebird] Much thanks. See CN? Asking nicely gets you things a lot better.

[Deer] - Ah, are we having those sorts of problems?

[CN] Huffs-

[Firebird] Some, yeah.

[CN] - I'm not bad...

[Deer] - We know CN, you just have things to learn still

[CN] Very quietly so only Firebird can hear- I don't like her

[Firebird] Oh..?

[Deer] - Everything alright?

[CN] Ignores Deer's question-

[Firebird] Mhmmm. Someone's just being a lil snobby snob.

[Deer] - Oh, well, I need to go tend to the garden, but you know where we are if you need anything else

[Firebird] Mhmm! Thanks, I'll take this little monster out now then. Oh! And the steve downstairs is out and about. Just incase you didn't know.

[Deer] - Oh!  Alright.  Be safe you two!

[CN] Buries face in Firebirds shoulder-

[Firebird] -Does the leave with CN, humming a bit-

[CN] - Why does she get to stay?

[Firebird] Hmmm? What do you mean?

[CN] - She did mean bad thing, but she got to stay...  I hate her

[Firebird] She's kinda gotta stay? She's like... the server itself? Or something like that.   And if she did a mean thing, clearly it was necessary.

[CN] - But it deleted my friend!

[Firebird] ... Is that where he went? Huh. I mean, if Deer finally did it, he clearly wasn't welcome, at all. Sure, making him leave would've been a.. kinder alternative, but... some people just don't learn, CN.

[CN] - Still...  I mean, he wasn't as fun as you are...

[Firebird] I decided to be fun. Sure, I was already a different kind of fun, to me. But I was.. Kind of like DN to everyone else. But I changed. DN refused to, from what I can tell. He made everyone incredibly unhappy, CN. It's like.... Hmmmm.... If CP were to do everything he could to make you unhappy, but constantly. To everyone, I guess. -Adjusts CN in his arms a bit-

[CN] - Doesn't he already do that?

[Firebird] Nah. He's... ... Some of it, maybe. But I think it's just.. what he does, sometimes. Doesn't constantly go "If I do this, it will upset this person greatly. Lets do it" He just sort of.. Does it? Maybe? I'm not sure. I make myself scarce when he's around.

[CN] - He's always mean to the others... Except towards my brine

[Firebird] That's love. He loves her. He's just... Emotionally constipated, probably.

[CN] - What's constipated?

[Firebird] -blinks and looks down at CN- .... Hard shitting?

[Firebird] Technically it's like. Blockages? Or something. Which is more relevant to emotional constipation.

[CN] - Well how does it get unblocked?

[Firebird] Do I look like a doctor, CN? I'm still kind of emotionally constipated after a few ages of acting like a normal bird. It just.. Takes time, I guess? I dunno,

[CN] - Can we make it go faster?

[Firebird] ... Not sure.

[CN] - ...  Can we go color now?

[Firebird] Sure. We're almost there now anyway. -Bends and sets CN down-

[CN] - Race you!- Goes tearing off

[Firebird] I-- I have longer legs than you.... I... -trails off and just watches CN for a second, tapping talons on the ground before shrugging- I guess. -Nyooom. He goes. Staying conveniently behind CN-

-The next day-

- There is a bit of frantic squawking coming from CN's room-

[CN] - Stay still!

[Firebird] - pokes head in -

[CN] Has his back to Firebird and is fussing with something-

[Firebird] - stalks up behind cn-

[CN] Has his pet bird in his hands rather tightly and is trying to get some flight feathers loose- Hold still

[Firebird]!! - yanks the bird from CN with an angry hiss, tucking it to his chest protectively - WHAT THE FUCK?

[CN] - Firebird! Give him back!

[Firebird] NO! You don't deserve the poor thing anymore. How would you like it if i tore your fingers off, huh?!

[CN] - But the feathers are pretty!

[Firebird] - grabs CN's hand by a finger and yanks, hard-

[CN] - OW! Stop! You're not the boss of me!

[Firebird] - just keeps yanking, expression highly sour- oh?

[CN] - OW!

[Firebird] Hurts, doesn't it!?

[CN] - STOOOOOOOP

[Firebird] You didn't stop! You said hold still!

[CN] - OKAY! OKAY! OW! IT HURTS!

[Firebird] Yes, it does. And you were trying to pull feathers off, multiple! This poor thing was in agony!

[Firebird] - in chat - hey, who's available that can change bodies?

[TLOT] I'm not busy, but why do you need that?

[Firebird] CN was trying to rip feathers off his bird and i am heavily upset. He deserves a better punishment.

[CN] - What? No!

[Firebird] - to CN - No? You don't get a choice. I'm making sure this doesn't happen again.

[CN] Struggles to get out of Firebirds grasp-

[Firebird] - just clamps onto the finger, refusing to release CN. There is no escaping punishment, feather puller-

[CN] - Firebird! Let go!

[CN] Tries to stomp on Firebirds foot-

[TLOT] Theres a rush of furious energy as the brine comes charging into the room. He roars at Cn and it shakes the building with the force of his rage- WE DO NOT TORTURE THE HELPLESS, I WONT ALLOW IT.

[CN] Promptly tries to hide behind Firebird-

[Firebird] -Slight spook tail poof-

[CN] - I JUST WANTED SOME FEATHERS!

[Firebird] And so you were going to rip them off?

[Firebird] -Holds pet bird to chest protectively-

[CN] - I just wanted a couple

[Firebird] How'd you like it if I tore your fingers off because I just "wanted a couple", Huh?!

[CN] - But feathers aren't fingers!

[Firebird] -Flicks CN's forehead- They are. Analogous, they are exactly like fingers!

[CN] - No, because they can't grab things!

[Firebird] -Momentary blank stare at CN-

[Firebird] I can't believe I'm even arguing this to you, I AM a bird most of the time..

[Firebird] ... You know, that would be a good punishment..

[TLOT] Has been steadily getting angrier this whole time thinking of his own torment at the hands of his NOTCH and suddenly pounces on Cn and smashes him roughly- you want feathers?! Feathers you'll have! - when his hands part it's to reveal a very small and dazed looking brown bird.

[CN] Surprised and panicked bird noises-

[Firebird] -The most amused cackle-

[TLOT] Firmly puts the bird on the bed- maybe when you're appropriately humbled, I'll think about changing you back!

[CN] Frustrated wing flapping-

[TLOT] Very huffy and still upset.

[Firebird] -Content smile and shuffle pet bird in his hands to begin examining it and make sure it's feathers are alright-

[Firebird] If I were still my old self, I would completely tear some of his feathers out to show him just what pain he was putting this poor bird through...

-Bird is a bit roughed up but otherwise fine.  A few feathers are out of place-

[TLOT] Let me have the parrot, I know a green spot of jungle where I can set the poor thing free

[CN] Frantic chirping, not wanting to lose his pet-

[TLOT] No. I don't think you're responsible enough for a pet.

[Lie] Comes in, having been way out but felt TLOT's energy- What is going on?

[Firebird] -Smooths the feathers out, gently moving them into their proper spot before shaking his head- Nah, I'll keep it. That way when he visits, He'll remember just how mean he was being to an animal that trusted him. -Snuff and gently tuck it back to his chest, chirping at it softly-

[TLOT] If you wish. Lie... Firebird caught Cn tormenting his pet. I punished him appropriately

[Lie] - He what!?

[TLOT] He was apparently trying to pull out some of its feathers....

[Firebird] He was trying to pull the poor things feathers out! -The most offended and horrified look-

[Lie] - I see, so we went the CP punishment route?

[Firebird] You should pull on his feathers so he knows what kind of pain he was causing this bird, Lie. Because from experience, trying to pull healthy feathers is fucking painful.

[Lie] - I'd rather not

[CN] Loud distressed noises-

[CN] Tries to take a step and falls flat on his face-

[Firebird] -Amused snuff-

[CN] Distressed noise at Firebird-

[Firebird] -Scoops CN up and holds him in hand- Hows it feel, hmm?

[CN] Flaps wings quickly and madly-

[Lie] - Oh CN...

[TLOT] Mentally to Lie - You might feel like I over-reacted. But this is an issue that must be nipped in the bud. If he was ever allowed to develop a taste for torture like mine did. i'd never forgive myself if what happened to me... happened to you....

[Lie] - I know, and part of the problem may be that he was left alone with DN for so long, but I think Firebird will be good for him

[TLOT] Same. Firebird? Ar you willing to... teach him to bird for now? Just make sure nothing eats him.

[CN] His feathers are already getting messed up-

[Firebird] Yeah, sure. Ignore any panicked screeching for a few days? I'm gonna teach him to fly the bird way. -Small evil grin-

[Lie] - Wait, what?

[TLOT] Ummm... not too high okay? Dying in that shape could be bad...

[Firebird] Blehh You're no fun. Ya gotta get the full experience! I fell straight off my tower as a babe! I'm still standing just fine.

[Lie] - Please don't kill my NOTCH!

[CN] Scared noises-

[TLOT] Lets stick with one block up for now...

[Firebird] At Least a tree.

[Lie] - And how about learning to walk first?

[TLOT] Two blocks and walk first?

[Firebird] A walk and a tree.

[TLOT] Done. Let me know if you need anything.

[Lie] - A SHORT tree Firebird

[TLOT] quickly- No jungle trees!

[Firebird] Dang! I'll make do, there's other trees.

[Lie] - How about either a short oak or birch tree?

[Firebird] You all are so safety first about learning to fly. *Shifts pet parrot to shoulder and casually smooshes CN to chest, fixing feathers a bit

[TLOT] Gives Firebird A LOOK

[CN] Squirms because it feel weird-

[Lie] - Firebird, he's a child, of course we're going to be concerned about safety

[Firebird] But he's also a Notch. WE're built to last. Besides, the worst he'll do is probably break a leg. It's a learning experience.

[TLOT] Long annoyed sigh- I'm trusting you here....

[Lie] - I'D PREFER HE BROKE NOTHING!

[Firebird] -Long stare at Lie- So did the parrot, and CN betrayed that trust.

[Lie] Huffs quietly but knows she can't argue with that-

[CN] Chirps towards Lie-

[Lie] - No CN, you'll be staying with Firebird for a little bit

[Firebird] I'll be off with him now, unless you have anymore restrictions?

[Lie] - I'll let you know if I think of anything else

[firebird] -Does his leave with birbs-

[Lie] Turns towards TLOT- Do you need any calming blossoms?

[TLOT] Deflates a little and leans on the wall. - No... I'm okay... that just scared me. I got complacent around him because he's so little... but he's still a NOTCH.

[Lie] - I know, and with everything that's been happening I haven't been able to spend the time with him that I should be

[TLOT] Yeah... Doc has been also been too busy to keep an eye on Buff either... He seems harmless but...

[Lie] - It's okay, I really don't think Buff is a threat, and I think we just nipped any problems with CN in the bud.  But what exactly are your concerns?

[TLOT] Oh he's just kind of annoying. He's sweaty and loud and tends to mess up the kitchen and bump into things. You know me, I've got a cat personality, he's like a.... a big rambunctious dog.

[Lie] Tries to fight down a laugh- Well, he certainly wants to please like one

[TLOT] He's got so much energy it's insane. Up at the ass-crack of dawn jogging around, shadow-boxing and... and... LIFTING THINGS! It's weird!

[Lie] - Ah yes, disturbing the great golden cat's usual routine?

[TLOT] If he had whiskers at the moment he'd twitch them at her- Hmmmph. I'm not the only one who likes to sleep in... I hear Doc bumping around late in the lab most nights. They're always into something.

[Lie] - They always are, CP's taken to sulking since he's been kicked out of the bed

[TLOT] I would too. It's hard sleeping alone when you're used to having a cuddle-buddy.

[Lie] - Just waiting on the word from Notch that it's okay for him to head back over to apologize to Jeb and the others, then he can get back in the bed

[TLOT] I saw him on the phone earlier today, you should go talk to him. Let him know what happened to Cn at least so he doesn't go looking for the kid and panic.

[Lie] - Good point, care to join me?

[TLOT] Do you need me to force Cp out when it's time to go?

[Lie] - Probably not, he seems pretty desperate to get back into the bedroom

[TLOT] Then I'll pass. I have a couple of small errands to do anyway.

[Lie] - Alright, just thought I'd offer

[TLOT] Pats Lie in a sort of parental way and departs.

[Lie] Follows him out and heads for Notch's place and knocks on the door-

[Notch] Peeks around the corner of the house with a handful of lilacs- Lie?

[Lie] - Oh hey, there you are.  TLOT mentioned that he saw you on the phone earlier and I was wondering if you had contacted Jeb yet?

[Notch] Yeah.... I did. He set up a meeting after hours but it's hard to figure out how that matches up with game time...

[Lie] - I'm sure Doc  or CP could figure it out

[Notch] Here- He gives her a piece of paper with the time on it.

[Lie] - Alright, thank you, I'll pass it along to CP.  I'm guessing those flowers are for Flux?

[Notch] Sappy smile- yess... She does like purple...

[Lie] Touches the stems and makes the flowers just a bit fuller and more fragrant-

[Notch] Blinks as the air is sufficed with the sweet smell - Thank you Lie...

[Lie] - It's no problem, have fun with Flux

[Notch] Goes a little pink - I hope so- Scurries off

[Lie] - Oh!  Wait!

[Notch] Hmm?

[Lie] - CN...  Won't be around for awhile, so don't worry if you don't see him

[Notch] Ah, someone else pulled babysitting duty?

[Lie] - Yeah, Firebird is watching him

[Notch] Sounds good to me. Adults need time to themselves occasionally- wink

[Lie] - Yeah...  Well, I'll let you be now

[Notch] Thanks!

-Late that night-

[CP] Is pacing grumpily as he and Lie wait for the right time to jump over to the real world- Are you certain we can't go now?

[Lie] - CP, we don't want to be there too early.  Besides I asked Notch to let them know that we'd try to wait for them to all already be there.

[CP] Scowls and keeps up his pacing- I'm surprised the kid isn't bugging us

[Lie] - Weeeell...

[CP] Stops his pacing- What's that for?

[Lie] - Nothing to important right now, Firebird currently has him

[CP] - Brat can stay there for all I care

[Lie] - Be nice, besides, it's about time

[CP] Groans a little before turning towards his wife- Are you ready to go?  They may have questions...

[Lie] - I know, and I'm ready

[CP] - Then let's go- He creates an opening

-There's a bit of a gasp as the people in the confrence room turn to the crackly opening with fearful eyes.

[Tokig] Immediatly scoots to the farthest corner from where the hole is.

[Fangbo] Peers curiously inside the hole- woooowww

[Jeb] Yeah...yeah

[CP] Comes through and then turns around, helping Lie through-

[Lie] Gives CP a small smile-

[Yster] Tries to look at the back of the hole without getting too close-

[CP] Shuts the opening quickly, he really doesn't want to do this-

[Jeb] Markus says you came to apologize to my staff, but I'm skeptical of that.

[Yster] There's just no way any of this is for real....

[Lie] - Oh believe me, it's real

[CP] - Yeah yeah, fucking sorry or whatever

[Lie] - CP...

[CP] - What?

[Jeb] So... hows the server? Either of them?

[Lie] - Well there's four actually, but Deer and Flux are doing well

[CP] - Can we go now?

[Lie] - Hush

[Fangbo] So it's true? Some servers have conciousness as well? Not just glitches?

[CP] - Yeah, and they embody a part of the server

[Snorik] very quietly- What on earth did we create...?

[Dofta] Something scary...

[Lie] - Something wonderful- She caught onto their words mentally

[Dofta] Points at Cp- I meant him. He choked me and put poor Tokig in a coma! That's pretty scary.

[Yster] Yeah. It's bad enough when they stalk and kill players...

[Lie] - Yes but just like humans all of us brines vary.  I'm nothing like my husband, plus he's actually gotten much better about the killing

[Jeb] Well.... he's not the only one. I admit the NOTCH AI's aren't perfect, but the ratios pretty off right now. There are a lot of missing NOTCHs. We have to presume they've been deleted.

[Lie] Shares a look with CP-

[Yster] Well we do know a few of them are hunting both types of AI's for some damn reason. Harvestman isn't the only one. Just one of the worst.

[CP] Growls at the mention of Harvestman-

[Lie] - Easy now

[Jeb] He's really fucked up if it makes you feel better.

[Yster] His face...

[Lie] - We saw when you sent it to Notch

[Dofta] We're working on the parameters, but it's like trying to pick a lock while the components rearrange themselves. We had to make the new generation of NOTCHAI's aware of what they are so they'd stop asking so many questions everytime the admins came to check on them.

[CP] - Yeah we noticed that too fuckhead

[Lie] - I mean, at least Buff is a good NOTCH?

[Jeb] A bit too loud, pointing a finger - YEAH. You guys deleted one, didn't you? I saw one drop off the map and one of the new ones go out near your sector and wondered...

[Lie] - DN was a fucking asshole

[CP] - Aw, look at you cussing

[Lie] Gives CP a bit of a shove and he doesn't move at all

[Snorik] Dn?

[Jeb] Did you get a bad one?

[Lie] - DarkNOTCH, he had ice abilities and stalked and harassed Doc non stop making them paranoid and terrified of every little sound

[Yster] That's terrible! Wait, Doc?

[Jeb] Growls a bit at the mention of Doc-

[Lie] - A good friend, they became a herobrine not long after I did

[Fangbo] Narrows eyes- What do you mean 'became'? Are you some kind of hacker?

[Lie] - Oh god no, I have absolutely no ability to code.  I actually used to be like you guys, a human

[Jeb] Thumbs at her- He pulled her in. Just like he did to me. Except she wanted to stay.

[Fangbo] I honestly thought you were full of shit Jeb.

[Tokig] ...same.

[Lie] - Well, I didn't exactly want to stay at first...

[Jeb] It's complicated...

[Yster] What's it like? I mean... can we do anything for you?

[Lie] - Oh I'm fine, once we had a parasitic entity removed from CP he certainly got a lot better

-Sea of large eyeballs and confused faces-

[CP] - Long story short, creepy pasta's?  We all have or had an entity which caused an uncontrollable blood lust and need to murder

[Snorik] Is... this something we should be looking for in the other brines?

[Lie] - No, we're fairly certain CP is the only one which had it

[CP] Leans on his wife causing her to fall forwards a little-

[Lie] - CP!

[Yster] Little gasp-

[Snorik] Well that's... good?

[CP] - I wanna go home

[Lie] - CP...  You just got allowed back into the bed...

[CP] - So?

[Dofta] Men... all the same....

[Jeb] smells metaphorical blood - You seem a little off your game Cp.

[CP] - You try going over a week with no sleep

[Jeb] Blinks - a week? Shit... most people start to go spare and pass out after 3-4 days. Unless they're on drugs.

[CP] Points at Lie- Can't sleep without her

[Lie] - And brines don't really need that much sleep, but not sleeping does take a toll

[Tokig] Can't you just - waves his hands - put yourself to sleep? You knocked my ass out easy enough. That was fucking terrifying.

[Lie] - He has nightmares if I'm not there

[Jeb] What does a maker of nightmares have nightmares about?

[Fangbo] That's kinda romantic...

[Dofta] Aww.

[CP] - My initial deletion...

[Lie] - It was the first time Harvestman went after him

[Yster] Wait is he YOUR NOTCH?

[Jeb] Yeah...

[Lie] - Technically his second NOTCH

[CP] Wraps his arm around Lie-

[Tokig] bitterly - What did he do to the first one, eat him?

[CP] Unintentionally gives them the image of his original NOTCH in it's final moments-

-There's a hushed silence as the memory passes to them and some muffled sniffling -

[Yster] That's so sad...

[Fangbo] Wait.... why the hell was he surrounded by other NOTCHs?

[Jeb] Wait a minute....

[Lie] - Well...

[Jeb] I was with Markus! You took them didn't you? That whole village full of broken AI's!

[CP] - I didn't

[Jeb] Suspicious look - You're hiding something.

[Lie] - There are things that you don't need to know

[Jeb] We do need to know dammit! We can't generate a bunch of replacements without knowing at least how many there were, their charges are all still at large and most of them are violent!

[Lie] - There don't need to be more!

[Fangbo] Hey! If they nearly murdered their NOTCHs they at least need someone keeping them away from players!

[Lie] - You never gave a replacement to my husband and his brother

[Yster] It must have happened before that update.... has it been awhile?

[CP] - It was during Alpha

[Jeb] Yeah... they didn't auto generate back then. This is recent stuff. Dofta has been doing a lot of tweaking on the neural network that does their personalities too.

[Dofta] looks a little bit proud - I got to design some new body types as well....

[Lie] - We noticed, my NOTCH is a child and Doc's new one looks like an iron golem

[Dofta] Beams - Do you like them? There's a few girls out there too and some of them even start out with a special 'wisdom pack' so they look old and wise and give better quality advice.

[Lie] - Well it's certainly been an adjustment...  Mine is needing a bit of an additude adjustment at times but he is a child, and he spent a bit of time alone with a not so good NOTCH

[Yster] That's unfortunate. Do you like kids at least?

[Lie] - Oh yes, and CP's surprisingly good with them, that's one reason we think mine spawned as a child

[Jeb] Snorts- He's good with kids?!

[Fangbo] Let's stay on the subject here please...

[Lie] Gives a bit of a mental burst of him with Stevie during the potion incident-

[Dofta] Awwwwwww, he's so small and cute!

[CP] - Why did you show them that?

[Lie] - Because it's one of the few times you and your brother were not fighting

[Fangbo] Look, if you're going to keep the broken NOTCH's sequestered; at least give us a headcount.

[Jeb] She's right. But having their identifier numbers would be better, then we can match them to their charges as well.

[Lie] - We'll see, it may be awhile before anybody gets over there...

[Jeb] I can wait.

[Fangbo] Over where? What did you do with them?

[Lie] - They were placed on a server inside of a server

[Snorik] You put a server inside a server....?

[Jeb] How the actual fuck did you do that?!

[CP] - We have our ways

[Jeb] That means it was probably Doc, again.

[CP] - Yup

[Lie] Reaches up and runs her fingers through CP's hair- We should probably get going, time difference and all

[CP] - Fucking finally!

[Fangbo] I have a dumb request... just because I want to see what it looks like... if you don't mind...

[Lie] - What is it?

[Fangbo] Glances at the others to make sure they won't tease her - Can you lay a block out here? If it's possible.

[Jeb] Just not water spawn, lava or anything on fire please...

[Lie] Thinks for a moment before maneuvering out from under CP despite his protests and goes into the corner of the room.  She flips through her inventory to see what she has and lays down a mossy cobblestone, a few tiny flowers spring up where she brushes the moss-

[Dofta] Oh! That's so cool!

[Fangbo] Touches it tentatively- it's too perfect... thank you. Should we... water it ever?

[Lie] - No, my plants don't require water

[Tokig] Is elated but yawns anyway, it's very late.

[CP] Creates another opening- We should go Lie...

[Lie] - Hopefully we'll talk again soon- She heads for her husband who starts helping her through

-There's a bit of waving, but it's clear they're all somewhat in shock, except for Jeb, he just looks annoyed.-

[CP] Makes an opening near their home-

[Sammn] — is wandering around, lost in thought -

[CP] Once again steps through first and starts helping Lie through-  Easy now

[Sammn] - hears voices and freezes -

[Lie] Comes through and yawns a little- Wow, I guess it is a bit late...

[Sammn] - stares wide eyed at the sudden appearance of Lie & CP - Whoa...

[CP] Closes the opening-

[Lie] - Hm?  Oh, hey Sammn

[Sammn] - waves distractedly - Ello Lie... Ah, were did the two of come from?

[Lie] - Oh, we just had a quick errand out in the real world

[Sammn] - Real world?

[Lie] Gives Sammn the quick explanation-

[Sammn] - is kinda speechless - That sounds... Strange, but interesting all at once.

[Lie] - It really is, it's where I originally came from

[Sammn] - Orginally? You... Aren't native? - winces as a headache starts.

[Lie] - I'm a native herobrine because this is where I became a herobrine, but I'm not a native of the game

[Sammn] - alright it's just.... Or rather, I'm curuous

[Lie] - About the real world?  Well, I'll answer any questions I can for you

[Sammn] - Would it be possible or... Allowable... If could come see it?

[Lie] - Er, well yes, but there's about a weeks worth of pain you'd have to go through first...

[Sammn] - Oh, well then... I'll think about it...

[Lie] - You'd only have to go through the pain once though, then we could come and go as you please

[Sammn] - nods - Just slightly worried how my - waves hand at head - memory issues might change.

[Lie] - You wouldn't be alone, we'd make certain that there was somebody there with you

[Sammn] - Well it's something to look forward to, atleast.

[Lie] - Think about it and talk it over with Doc, okay?

[Sammn] - nods and heads off -.

[Lie] Smiles as she takes CP's hand and leads him home so they can sleep-

[Crim] - is walking slowly toward the beach, or rather a very colorful house near the beach -

[Pinwheel] Is up on top of Splender's house, butt wiggling like a cat ready to pounce as she looks at the shore-

[Crim] - looks around cautiously but continues toward the house -

[Pinwheel] Takes a bit of a running start and leaps off the roof, shakily gliding to the opposite shore where she fumbles her landing and lands a bit hard.  She then hisses at the ground-

[Crim] - jumps, started but quickly races over - Pinwheel!

[Pinwheel] - No

[Crim] - stops suddenly - Yes you be. Why you jumps downs?

[Pinwheel] - No!- Starts rolling around in the grass

[Crim] - sighs and slowly walks over - Yes!

[Pinwheel] Stops rolling- No?

[Crim] - flops down - YES.

[Pimwheel] Just cocks head at Crim-

[Crim] You smart. You need learns more words. Crim helps you.

[Pinwheel] Just starts rolling and scratching herself in the grass again-

[Crim] - watches, twitching tail and waits -

[Pinwheel] Stops and flips back over before racing to scratch a tree-

[Crim] - watches - Tree.

[Pinwheel] - No

[Crim] - repeats - TREE.

[Pinwheel] - NO

[Crim] - Fine. - gets up and walks away

[Pinwheel] Grooms her wings a little and a feather comes out.  She picks it up and brings it over to Crim- No

[Crim] - looks over at her - Feather.

[Pinwheel] Tilts head and then looks at her wings-

[Crim] - stops - Feathers. You have many color ones. Pretty.

[Pinwheel] Sniffs through her feathers again and finds a loose one in another color which she pulls out and puts in front of Crim-

[Crim] - points to new feather - Red. Red feather.

[Pinwheel] Picks it up and tries to put it on Crim-

[Crim] - leans down - Red like Crim.

[Pinwheel] Plops it on his head-

[Crim] - reaches up to hold in place -

[Pinwheel] Happily- No!

[Crim] - Yes.

[Pinwheel] Makes a frustrated noise-

[Crim] - This why you learn words. Easy to tell others what mean. No guess, no wrong.

[Pinwheel] Huffs and thumps tail on ground a little-

[Crim] - You smart. You know. - sits downs across from her.

[Pinwheel] Moves forwards and sniffs at Crim-

[Crim] - sits still and watches -

[Pinwheel] Sneezes at some coal dust on his scales-

[Crim] - tries not to giggle - I digger. Gets dirty Crim does.

[Pinwheel] Scraps at the ground to imitate digging and then tilts her head curiously-

[Crim] - nods - Dig. Ground.

[Pinwheel] Sits back and looks at Crim, trilling a little-

[Crim] I dig. You flap. - waves arms -

[Pinwheel] - Cri!

[Crim] - smiles - Yes.

[Pinwheel] - Cri!  Cri!

[Crim] - stands - Come, you point. I tell, that way you know sounds and names.

[Pinwheel] Stands and jumps around a little, her tail swishing through the air a little, a slight whistle being produced as the wind passes over her sharp feathers.  This completely distracts her-

[Crim] - watches, wondering how she made the sound -

[Pinwheel] Swishes tail and gets hints of the sound again-

[Crim] You makes sound. - goes over to look at her tail -

[Pinwheel] Holds her tail out for Crim, the feathers there are razor sharp and meant to be used as a weapon-

[Crim] - carefully touches one with a claw - Sharp feather.

[Pinwheel] - Cri?  No?

[Crim] - pulls paw back - I care. No worry. I stays back, so no hurts.

[Pinwheel] - Criiiiiiiiiii

[Crim] Is ok, see I have sharp tail too. - shows tail spikes -

[Pinwheel] Sniffs the spikes and baps at them a little-

[Crim] Yes. Spikes. - slowly twitches end, then knocks a spike on the ground -

[Pinwheel] Jumps back a little before moving around to the front of Crim- Cri?

[Crim] Yes?

[Pinwheel] Nudges his chest-

[Crim] - steps back - What?

[Pinwheel] Bows down a little, wanting to play-

[Crim] You want play? Yes.

[Pinwheel] - Cri!- She jumps around and baps at Crim

[Crim] - smiles, then darts forward and gently taps her as he passes by - Catch Crim!

[Pinwheel] Goes full speed which let's her catch Crim in a couple of seconds as she jumps on him-

[Crim] - at last second he leaps straight up, latching onto a low branch - Miss!

[Pinwheel] Jumps up as well and pulls herself up onto the branch-

[Crim] - smiles and lets go, twisting cat-like to land on all six paws. Once down, he dashes off, weaving through the trees. -

[Pinwheel] Races after him, keeping right on his tail-

[Crim] - darts up another tree, only to jump the next one -

[Pinwheel] Chases afterwards, using her wings to get across a couple bigger gaps-

[Crim] - gets to section with more space between trees. He leaps and misses the branch, landing hard on the ground - Ooofffff.

[Pinwheel] Glides down- Cri?

[Crim] - stumbles up, holding one leg against his side - Is ok. You win.

[Pinwheel] Whines a little, she's concerned-

[Crim] - tries to put paw down and yelps when he puts weight on it - Ouch! OK... maybe no.

[Pinwheel] - No...

[Crim] - tucks paw back - Is ok, Crim have other feets.

[Pinwheel] Looks around a bit before pushing Crim a little towards the castle-

[Crim] - sighs but starts walking - Crim will be fines. Lived by self, not first ouch.

[Pinwheel] - No

[Crim] - keeps walking, but pouting - Yes.

[Pinwheel] - No

[Crim] - rumbles as walks -

[Pinwheel] Keeps pushing, which is rather amusing considering how much lighter she is then Crim-

[Crim] - tries to slow down - No push. We go.

[Pinwheel] Whines- Cri...

[Crim] - huphfes and speeds back up - Fine.

[Pinwheel] Keeps a careful eye on him as they approach the castle-

[Crim] - is listening for voices, but still moving - What if no one here?

[Pinwheel] - No

[Crim] - heads towards doors - Yes. Others do things, is day.

[Pinwheel] - No

[Crim] - stops in front of door - Yes, it happen. I come, no one here. I leave.

[Pinwheel] - No!- Starts trying to push Crim past the door, not wanting him to go inside

[Crim] - stumbles and moves away - No? Where go then?

[Pinwheel] Urges him on towards Splender's house-

[Crim] - realizes where she's herding him so starts walking, confused - You home?

[Pinwheel] Nods.  As they get closer she runs ahead to hit the lever to bring up the walkway-

[Crim] - continues after her -

[Pinwheel] Races into the house and be seen trying to drag Splender, her fangs buried deep in one of his tendrils-

[Splender] - Pinwheel what are you doing?

[Crim] - stops - Pinwheel! Ask, no bites!

[Pinwheel] Muffled- No

[Splender] - Crim?  What are you doing here?

[Crim] - looks quilty - We play, I jump miss. Pinwheel worries. - holds injured paw away from body. It looks alittle swollen.

[Splender] Gets Pinwheel mouth open and releases his tendril- Wait right here, I have some medicine since Pinwheel is a bit prone to injuries as well

[Pinwheel] Goes back over to Crim-

[Crim] - shakes tail at her - You smart, use words. Bite bad. Tall happy is good.

[Pinwheel] - No

[Splender] Returns with the dry pills- Here we go, just take one of these and it should heal you right up!- He offers one of the small blue pills

[Crim] - holds out paw - Thanks. - sniffs then swallows pill -

[Pinwheel] Lays down next to Crim-

[Splender] - Pinwheel seems to have taken a real liking to you!

[Crim] - nods and carefully sits - I knows. I try to teach her words, so bites stop. She smart, she learned Crim.

[Splender] - Wonderful!  However, she is still very much a baby, Doc told us not to expect her to really start talking until her next growth spurt

[Crim] - smiles - Is ok. She learn words now, then can use when she needs.

[Splender] - Absolutely!  And thank you Crim

[Crim] - smiles - Is much easier to learns from other. Crim learn self, still talk funny. I learn more, I can teach her more.

[Splender] Laughs gently- Well yes, thank you for that, but also thank you for being her friend, as far as I can tell, your her first real friend

[Crim] - nudges her - Friends good. Play better with others.

[Pinwheel] - Cri

[Splender] Gasps- OH SHE'S SAYING YOUR NAME!

[Crim] - nods - She smart, just needed little helps.

[Splender] - Well, so long as you two are together I don't think I'll have to worry about her as much!

[Crim] Yes, we both biters. No one mess with. - hisses softly -

[Pinwheel] Small hiss in response-

[Splender] Giggles- Well if you two want to continue playing, just be careful, alright?  And if you do get hurt, I have plenty of pills and so does Doc and CP!

[Crim] - yawns - Yes, will be. And I try to remember.

[Splender] - Oh, are you tired?  You can sleep here for a bit if you want

[Crim] - tries not to yawn, but nods - Please?

[Splender] - Pinwheel's room is upstairs, I'm sure both of you can fit on the bed.  Feel fre to use it

[Crim] - nudges Pinwheel - Show way. Nap, then more play. Yes?

[Pinwheel] Starts climbing the stairs to her room-

[Crim] Thanks Tall Happy. - follows sleepy -

[Pinwheel] Climbs up onto her bed and curls up into a ball of feathers-

[Crim] - crawls up as well and curls up next to her -

[Pinwheel] Is quickly dead to the world, asleep-

[Crim] - watches her for a few, then also passes out, rumble purring -

[CN] Little worried noises as Firebird flies him someplace-

-Find the tallest tree that just barely stays in the short category to teach CN to fly with-

[Firebird] Oh shhh. You'll be fine.

[CN] Frantic flapping-

[Firebird] -Lands on one foot ontop of a very nice heighted tree. IE, it won't kill CN if he fails, but it'll hurt like a bitch.- Hmmmm... This'll do.

[CN] Questioning noise-

[Firebird] -Sits at the edge and holds CN off it, adjusting grip so he's holding CN by the belly, but his wings are untouched- Spread your wings.

[CN] Clamps wings down in fear-

[Firebird] I'm not going to drop you. Open your wings.

[CN] Unsure noises-

[Firebird] Cmon. Spread your wings, CN.

[CN] Nervously does so-

[Firebird] -Tilts CN a bit to one side to watch his reaction-

[CN] Panics a little-

[Firebird] -Tut tuts- Keep calm, I said I wasn't going to drop you.

[CN] After a frantic moment starts calming down-

[Firebird] -tilts him back upright, ruffling his own wings in thought-

[CN] Sighs a little in relief-

[Firebird] ... -Tosses CN upward a bit, still in his reach to catch him if he freaks. Just to see what he does in the air-

[CN] Completely freaks out-

[Firebird] -Watches the frantic wing flails calmly, completely ignoring the terror shrieks from CN- Hm. -Catches him once he's in reach-

[CN] Tries to make himself as small as possible-

[Firebird] ... Really?

[CN] Long whine-

[Firebird] -Adjusts his talons and tosses CN in the air again-

[CN] More frantic noises and a bit of flapping-

[Firebird] -Repeats process again once he catches CN-

[CN] Panicked scree's and more frantic wing flapping-

[Firebird] Hm..... Try flapping your wings like this. -Flaps CN's wings with talons in the proper flight way at next catch-

[CN] Clamps his wings down-

[Firebird] You'll die if you do that in the air, CN.

[CN] Little scree-

[Firebird] -Toss toss-

[CN] More frantic noises, he just wants this to stop-

[Firebird] -tooooss. That's a high toss, there CN goes-

[CN] Finally does a couple of proper flaps-

[Firebird] There you go! That's it....

[CN] Tries to grab onto Firebirds talons so he can't be tossed again-

[Firebird] -Amused snort before setting CN onto the tree with him-

[CN] Breaths sigh of relief-

[Firebird] -Smooths CN's ruffled feathers with a hum, scooting him closer to the edge with the nudges-

[CN] Tries not to be moved but can't resist due to being so much smaller

[Firebird] You're doing well. Remember, keep flapping....

[CN] Small worried and questioning chirp-

[Firebird] -Flicks CN off the tree and leans over to watch him fall-

[CN] Forgets to flap and hits the ground hard-

[Firebird] -Hops off tree and glides to the ground. Peels CN off ground quickly and turns him in talons to see if anything is broke-

[CN] Whimpers a little-

[Firebird] -Uses a small healing magic on CN while tutting- You have to keep flapping your wings.

[CN] Whines and tries to scuttle away-

[Firebird] -Just holds CN in his talons and takes to the air again-

[CN] Squirms-

[Firebird] Stop squirming or I'll drop you, CN.

[CN] Long scree-

[Rudolph] Is wandering the Manor near desperately. He hates it, but his energy is once again running low and driving him to seek out one of the alien-looking Slender beings for more. He gnashes his long jaws in anger, having nothing within to take in air or make any sound beyond the creaking of his metal skeleton. His shuffling feet falter and he catches himself with one paw-like hand against a wall, cursing internally. He looks down a dark and silent corridor he's never noticed before, and smells wet metal, dust and old blood. Something in the shadows catches his flickering red eyes and he pushes himself towards it.

It's a small stick of wood jammed in the middle of one of the doors, and on the tip is a glowing red ember that's letting off a nearly inaudible hum of power. Curiously he wraps his cloth-covered hand around it and the jaws part in suprise as a wave of energy flows into him from touching it. Viciously he snaps it off the door and holds it to his chest. The power is like nothing he's  tasted before. It's small, but there is no end to it, and the monster stands straighter as it absorbs the strange electricity of the redstone.

He looks around to see if anyone has noticed his small transgression, and finding only silence; he roughly stuffs the torch down through the torn stitches on his jaws and into the mass of rubber scraps and metal joints that fill his cloth skin.

The redstone touches the amalgam in his core and he feels even stronger, his anger for the one who cursed him like this returning tenfold. He shoves the door open and looks inside. The room is dusty and spartan apart from an old laptop, and nothing has been touched in a long time. At the far end of the space is a large window and he wrenches it roughly open, forcing his ponderous bulk out and into the night beyond. As his feet hit the turf he strides with purpose and then breaks into a galumphing run.

He lost track of his prey the last time in a hail of fire and collapsing masonry. But her energies are stonger now, and he can almost feel her in his grip as the unholy strength fills what's left of his soul.

Only the wolves bear witnesses to his departure, and then tremble in his wake.

[ra-veela-claw]

Devotion (Part V)

Part V yayyyy!  Again, the character of Cassandra inspired by the lovely @seriouslyblacklikemysoul ❤️  A little more heartache in this one...BUT HANG IN THERE IT’LL GET BETTER!  Thanks for reading!

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Remus woke with a start, only to find the beds around him empty and dim sunlight trickling through the windows.  His bedside clock indicated it was just before four in the afternoon, and the lanky boy sat upright to rub his eyes and ensure they weren’t playing tricks on him.

I’ve slept near through the entire day.

He ran a hand through his tousled hair and searched the room with his adjusting eyes.  Eyebrows furrowed, he remembered the fair girl he’d fallen asleep next to.

I’m sure she’s gone to class…she’s probably done at this point, you lazy dog.

Remus smiled to himself as he thought of Aileen, just before Sirius entered the room in a flurry of his regular flamboyance.

“Oy!  You finally up then, Moony?” Sirius smirked and strode towards his friend.  Remus’s eyebrows raised and he gave a small smile, trying hard not to roll his eyes.

“I’m up, I’m up,” he chuckled as Sirius plopped at the foot of Remus’s bed.

“’Bout time,” Sirius scoffed and laid back, hands behind his head.  “How are you feeling, mate?”  

Sirius looked to the scarred boy, who nodded thoughtfully.

“I’m alright I suppose…no worse than usual.  Aileen actually stayed a bit this morning to help…she fixed my lip,” his fingertips ghosted over his lower lip and his cheeks flushed.  Sirius swallowed.

“Ah yes…I’ve heard she’s quite good with healing charms, that one,” he droned absentmindedly.  Remus rolled his eyes.

“I told you that, Padfoot.” Sirius couldn’t help but grin and shrug.

“I hear a lot of things, Moony.”  The two chuckled together before settling into a brief silence.

“Ehm…speaking of Aileen,” Sirius began unsurely, though he tried hard to keep his voice level and nonchalant.  Remus chewed on the inside of his cheek.

“…suppose I’ll just come right out with it: do you like her, mate?”  from his reclined position at Remus’s feet, Sirius looked up to Remus in time to see the heat rising to his cheeks.  Remus coughed and looked away.

“Of course I like her, she’s a wonderful friend.  Especially now that she knows everything…I owe a lot to her,” he said quickly.  Sirius pursed his lips and sat up.

“Moony…you know what I mean.”

Remus shifted uncomfortably before meeting Sirius’s steady gaze.  Sirius offered a small, reassuring smile.

“Well…I don’t know, Sirius.  She’s amazing…” Remus sighed.  “She’s intelligent, she’s patient, she’s caring…and what’s more, she accepts me and devoted her time to help me recover.”

Sirius was nodding.

“And she’s beautiful, of course,” Remus continued to blush but fell silent for a moment.  Although Sirius mirrored his feelings towards the girl exactly, he remained quiet and willing to listen.

“I know you like her though, Padfoot.”

Sirius’s eyes snapped to Remus.  He cleared his throat uncomfortably and ran a hand through his dark locks.

“Don’t be silly…she had only been waiting for you to come back last night. I was only keeping her company,” he said softer, eyebrows knit together as he stared back down into his hands. Remus stared down as well and spoke steadily, his heart aching with every word.  His own acceptance surprised him.

“You don’t think I see the way you look at her every time she walks by?  And when she speaks?” he explained.  Sirius now stared at his friend.

“It’s…well it’s the same way I must look at her.  And I think a great deal of her,” he continued, saying the last part slowly and quite calculated, blushing to no end.  Though the ache in his heart ran deeper, the love he held for his best friend overshadowed any pain.

“But who am I kidding, Padfoot?  I’m her friend, and I know I’ll never be anything more than that.  I don’t know why I even try to indulge myself, especially when I see the way she looks at you too.”

Sirius bristled.

“Don’t say that-“ he nearly snapped, not liking at all how his friend was speaking of himself.  “I hardly know her that well, mate.  Not like you.”

Remus shook his head.

“It doesn’t matter.”

Sirius was quiet and sat looking puzzled and perplexed.  He knew Remus was hurting; he could see it in the boy’s eyes. His own heart beat uncontrollably for his friend.

“Remus, I don’t want you to-“

Remus waved him off, offering a small smile.

“You should go see her.  I’m sure she’s wondering where you went this morning.”

Sirius was practically stunned, his throat was dry.  Trying desperately not to make his friend feel anything but content, Remus reached to ruffle Sirius’s hair, prompting a small smirk to break into Sirius’s features.

“Don’t touch the hair, mate,” he chuckled and took the lanky boy into a chokehold, messing his hair hoping for a laugh.  

Remus’s laugh rang true, though quiet, as the boys poked fun at each other.

“Merlin, it’s about dinner time, yeah?  Let’s get some food in ya, mate,” Sirius stood, trying to shake the uncomfortable feeling out of the air.  Remus gave a genuine, toothy grin and nodded.

“You go on, then.  I think I’d like a shower first.  Meet you all down there?”  He stood, pulling his shirt over his head.  Sirius nodded.

“Suit yourself then.”

Without another word, he chuckled and slipped out of the room.  Remus shook his head.

“By the way!”  Sirius poked his head back in as Remus unzipped his trousers.  He blushed as Sirius smirked.  “Nice abs.”

Remus chuckled as the door shut finally.  He smiled quietly to himself as he undressed, pushing the many nagging feelings of uncertainty and sadness deep into his subconscious.

The soft glow of the lonely, waning moon shone against the deep chocolate color of Cassandra’s hair as she leaned against the railing of the astronomy tower. She looked thoughtfully to the heavens above, and breathed in deeply the sweet, cool scent of the spring night. The book tucked in her arms seemed to call to her and she happily obliged to its wishes, sinking down against the railing and thumbing to her favorite excerpt.

Life seemed simpler this way, easier, as she relished in her solitary learning and growth.  Still, as she read on, she couldn’t shake the quiet, nagging loneliness of these nights. Cassandra so wished she had someone to share in her daydreams, her endless, mindless thoughts.

As she flipped the page of her book, she sighed.

“Is someone up here?” a hoarse voice called unsurely.  Cassandra started a bit, clutching the book to her chest. Her hazel eyes were wide.

“Y-yes sorry,” she piped, clearing her throat.

Remus, lost in the thoughts which threatened to consume him altogether with heartache, breathed a welcoming sigh of relief at the sound of the familiar lyrical voice.

“Is that you, Cassie?” the lanky boy smiled softly and stepped from the spiral staircase into view.  Cassandra’s fairy-like features broke into a kind smile, and her heart positively fluttered.

“Oh, hello Remus,” she chimed.  “A bit late to be wandering the castle, isn’t it?”

Remus sniffed a laugh and sunk down against the railing beside her.

“Suppose I could say the same to you,” he shrugged and grinned at the petite girl.

“Suppose you could,” she giggled quietly.  As the two looked to the stars, Cassandra couldn’t help but sense Remus’s tension.  He tapped his foot and wrung his hands, his mind obviously preoccupied.  She quirked her head.

“What brings you to the lonely peoples’ hideout?” she mused curiously. Remus gave a small smirk and chuckled.

“To be frank, I’m not sure.  I thought I could do well with some air,” he leaned back on his hands, looking rather exhausted despite the 12 hours of sleep he’d gotten.  

“Head needed some clearing after…well,” he looked to Cassandra who was watching him intently.  He continued: “Just some girl stuff I guess.”

Cassandra almost immediately jut in:

“You mean about Aileen?” she bit her lip.  Remus’s eyebrows shot up and he looked to her, surprised.

“Yes actually…how did you-?”  He suddenly blushed and he got quieter, looking away.  “Has Sirius said something?”

Cassandra’s heart ached, fearing she hit a deeper nerve.

“Oh, no no Remus.  I just…” she searched for cohesive words.  “I suppose I’m good at reading people, reading relationships.”

It was her turn to blush.

“I hope I’m not being intrusive, I apologize…I just have seen how you interact with Aileen, how you seem to see something more when you look in her eyes,” her voice got quieter as she wished he would see the same in her eyes.  Remus sighed.

“It’s alright, Cassie…there’s no need to apologize.  You are very intuitive, I’ll give you that though,” Remus smiled into his lap and opened up a bit more.

“I know she doesn’t feel the way I do…I know she fancies Sirius.”

Cassandra smiled softly, sympathetically and hesitantly reached to put a hand against his shoulder.

“She does love you though, I hope you know,” she said softly.  “Aileen will always be on your side…she’ll be your biggest supporter, caregiver, and your fiercest friend.  I know from experience.”

Remus nodded and seemed to almost relax under Cassandra’s slight touch.

“I know…she’s my best friend.  And so is Sirius…I love them both too much to risk making either of them unhappy,” he vowed, staring up at the moon that so often plagued him.

Cassandra nodded knowingly and felt a small spark of hope.

“You are incredibly devoted to your friends, Remus…that’s something truly admirable, and you should be proud of that,” she expressed genuinely.  Remus’s mouth turned upward ever so slightly at the corners and he nodded.

“Thank you, Cassie,” he murmured gratefully.  Though no words could completely console his aching heart, he found Cassandra’s willingness to listen quite comforting.  This enchanting girl made the pain he harbored feel less of a burden, to his relief and surprise.

Cassandra smiled and looked to the moon with him.

“Beautiful…isn’t it?”

Remus pursed his lips and glanced at Cassandra and the way the light shone off her bright hazel eyes.  He nodded.

“It is.”

[meepface]

these questions seem very therapeutic and i have been havin a week so im gonna do em, please ignore me

1. What can you do today that you were not capable of a year ago?

say no to people!! post selfies and not feel ashamed of myself for doing so!! stand up for myself without immediately crying!! 

2. What has been on your mind most lately?

well this week i’ve been in kind of a negative headspace so i have sorta thought about how much easier dying would be than dealing with any of my problems, but i have also thought about how much i don’t actually wanna kill myself also so i’ve been feelin sorta trapped between ‘mannnn if i would just fucking do it’ vs ‘but i don’t wanna my mom would be sad’, so that’s a real fun time!

3. Right now at this moment; What do you want right now?

i wanna feel myself again honestly. i’ve felt super weird n distant from who i used to be and who i wanna be and i feel like im just floatin. i feel super dissociative and i don’t feel genuine in how i behave anymore like idek myself. another super fun time!

4. In order of importance, How would you rank: Money, Happiness, Love, Health and Fame?

love (not strictly the romantic kind), happiness, health, money, fame

5. What would best describe the way you have spent your time in the last month?

feel like i’ve been wastin a lot of time bein super unhappy. buuuuut i spent a lot of time with people i love last month so that was good. kinda mixed, neutral feelings about it

6. What is the #1 motive in your life now?

to learn how to live for myself more

7. In one sentence, who are you?

i would say i am an extreeeeemely sensitive and compassionate person who’s always tryin to do the right thing and make a few people laugh when i can

8. What do you want to be known for?

being good and kind and gentle and positive

9. If you had to move 3000 miles away, what would you miss most?

my family, my dogs, my girlfriend, my friends, my grandma, this local restaurant that has amazing pancakes, my university bc i really like it there, the general atmosphere of downtown Austin, my therapist, my bedroom. in no particular order

10. In one year from today, how do you think your life will be different?

hopefully i’m taking care of myself well, am happy in my current situation and if i’m not i am actively working to do what i need to do to fix that, maybe i’ll have finally gotten another job and have moved out possibly. who knows. just hope im doin well

11. Who makes you feel good about yourself?

my friend Stein, my mom, my girlfriend, my therapist, a few of my internet friends

12. What are the top 3 qualities you look for in a friend?

someone who makes me laugh, someone who is a good listener, someone extremely supportive and non-judgmental

13. What has fear of failure stopped you from doing?

joining a club and being more social in college, getting another job, moving out, making videos, volunteering at this abuse center i’d really love to volunteer at

14. What is something you have always wanted since you were a kid?

a golden retriever

15. What stands between you and something you want?

fear of change

16. What do you do when nothing else seems to make you happy?

i find something to calm me down and distract me, like a game or something i can play so i stop thinking too much. also talking to someone helps but whenever i’m not in the mood to talk i try to do something to distract myself, or go to sleep if it’s a good time to

17. What do you need to spend more time doing?

being with friends and family, writing

18. When did you first realize that life was short?

i mean i had a few near-death experiences as a kid but none of em i was like “wow i could’ve died and that would’ve been the end” bc i didn’t really process them like that when i was that young. one of first times that i can remember feeling really deeply anxious about how short life really is is when i saw a bad car wreck just last year that had just happened and (TW ahead) i saw a person dead on the road with his head smashed. that was so scarring for me and now wrecks make me uncomfortable and i used to drive kinda recklessly as a dumb suicidal thing but now i would never ever drive the way i used to. another time i can think of is when a girl in my grade who i had actually been close friends with all throughout middle school up until freshman year died in a car wreck and our whole school was devastated

19. What issues do you continually refuse to confront?

honestly i want to confront and fix or work on all of my issues lmao so

20. What is something a lot of people do that you disagree with?

there’s a lot of homophobic and transphobic people in the small Texas town that i work in and a lot of em say super offensive things really casually and i hate it so much. also a lot of people enjoy jolly ranchers which i will never understand

21. What is a common misconception people have about you?

i’m shy, i’m straight, i’m lazy, i don’t work hard

22. What is something no one can take away from you?

no one could pull me away from my mom tbh that bitch knows everything and no one can tell me not to tell her what they tell me bc she’s gonna know in the next hour

23. What is something you would hate to go without for a day?

ummm chicken probably. it’s all i eat

24. When you look into the past what do you miss the most?

how cheerful and happy i was in 2015 and some of 2016!!!!!! the fuck happened!!!!

25. What memory from the past year makes you smile the most?

hmmm probably the times my gf and i spent hours making out n stuff in parking lots bc we finally got over our fear of havin our first kiss w each other and went all out

26. What is the number one change you need to make in your life within the next twelve months?

hmmm don’t wanna share it but i know in my head the answer to this

27. If not now, then when?

when i’m ready and when i know for sure that it’s what i want. because right now i don’t know what i want with my life but i just know that right now i am not happy. baby steps

28. What have you done that you are truly proud of?

i gained soooooo much confidence after graduating high school. came out to everyone, told my mom i wanted to finally try to go to therapy which has been a blessing for me

29. What is something new you have recently learned about yourself?

i’ve learned where my dependency issue that i used to have super bad stemmed from. i’m kinda growin from that though. i still have residual anxieties that were caused by it but nothin i can’t work through

30. What do you want to remember forever?

hmm. probably that one quote that’s like “anything that costs your peace is too expensive”. either that orrrrr that one scene in the office where Jim gets drunk and crashes his bike into the bushes

31. What could society do without?

religion (yikes yikes yikes) (don’t hate me, just hear me out) - this doesn’t mean the spirituality of it but like..... the whole rules and order part of it. the ancient outdated books and everything being taken so literally in today’s world. everyone could have their own takes and believe in their own things and they can just be without feeling like they either have to go to church or celebrate a religious holiday or be a certain way bc ‘god’, whoever they may be, wants them to. idk i like to believe there’s a higher power that just represents love, in its purest form, and that’s it. that’s all you gotta know about them. there’s no rules to that, you just do with that what you will, learn from that what you can. does this make sense at all 

32. What is the one thing right now, that you are totally sure of?

right now i am totally sure that i shouldn’t have started doing this survey bc i am exhausted and i have work in the morning but i’m definitely gonna finish it

33. If you had the opportunity to get a message across to a large group of people, what would you say?

be kinder and gentler, thank you

34. What is something that you said you would never do, but have since done?

this is uhhh super emo but i didn’t think i’d live this long and here the fuck i am

35. What is something you changed your mind about when you grew older?

my feelings about The Gays, since i grew up to be one and when i was little i was terrrrified of that idea. i didn’t care if other people were but when it came to me i was like noooo way jose. also? the concept of marriage? i’ve become super apathetic towards it. i don’t care if i end up married or not anymore, i will commit to someone for life regardless and i don’t need a ceremony and anything official to prove that. buuuuut that being said, if my future partner wants to be married, i’m 200% there and i’m already starting to think about our wedding color scheme. man. idk if i’d rather wear a suit or a dress at my wedding

36. What didn't last forever, but was still worth your while?

hmmm maybe my current therapy stuff?? i know one day i’m gonna stop going to therapy but man have i learned a lot and man have i grown. i truly think everyone needs to go to therapy at least once in their life, you learn things that are valuable in every aspect of life

37. If you could go back and time and tell the younger version of yourself something, what would you tell?

you’re not stupid, you’re allowed to make mistakes, maaaybe ask for the braces that aren’t clear bc those just made your teeth look massive and you hated yourself while they were on and you can’t look at pictures with them even years later. aaaand they made you super insecure about your mouth and smile even years down the line so, please dodge that bullet if ya can. also you’re super gay!

38. If you knew you were dying in the next 60 seconds, what would your last words be?

finally

39. When it is all said and done, would you have said more then you've done or vice versa?

hmm i’ve probably said a lot more than i’ve done, which i wanna change. if i’m understanding this question right

40. What question do you often ask yourself?

what do you want? what do you need? which of the two is more important?