#been thinking about this for awhile and I'll probably expand on it at some point

[dan-whoell]

the thing that makes dnp's relationship so special is deep down they are very clearly still two kids with crushes.

[zanethepa1n]

GARMADON ESSAY

// SPOILERS FOR NINJAGO SEASONS 3, 8, 9, AND 16

So this is real different from my usual posts, but this is something I've wanted to write about for awhile.

In this post I'm gonna just...explain my views on Garmadon? Not really sure of the best term to use to explain it; of course, it's just my opinion, but I wanna give people different views on his character, yk? I have really strong feelings about this topic so...I imagine this post will be pretty long.

If you have any requests for Ninjago characters you'd want me to do essays on like this lmk and I'll definitely try and get to it...I'll probably do one on Zane at some point.

Anyways, lets beginnn

Okay so let me just warn you again, this post is probably going to be EXTREMELY long and is all just writing. Basically an essay because I'm not sure how else to express my feelings on the matter other than in writing.

Anyways; I am going to try and structure the points I want to make chronologically...kind of. In each of the sections, I will be focusing on the main topic listed, but I may pull evidence from future or past seasons to support what I'm saying. So, the topics go chronologically, but the evidence will not...if that makes sense.

Here are the topics im going to cover in order, I'll expand on them in each of their respective sections;

Sensei Garmadon

Season 8 Fight w/ Lloyd

Christofern

Oni Training w/ Lloyd

Sensei Garmadon

So, this a lot more of a personal opinion, but I do not consider that Sensei Garmadon is different from Lord/Emperor Garmadon. I may be taking what people say wrong, but in my opinion I don't think that Sensei Garmadon is different from current Garmadon in any capacity; he was just in different circumstances. So, let me explain my views on this.

This is obviously not the best evidence because it can be easily defended by what is literally said in canon, but I thought I'd mention it anyways; I do not believe that the Great Devourer bite caused Garmadon to turn evil. It definitely changed him, but I don't think it corrupted him. In my honest opinion, I think that the only thing the Great Devourer bite did was awaken Garmadon's Oni side, and the FSM considered this to be "corruption".

But, despite my above claim being basically blatanly disproven by canon, it's...technically not completely disproven. It is obvious throughout the show that Garmadon is not completely cold-hearted and evil. He shows obvious care for Lloyd, as well as Misako. So it can be said that, even if the Great Devourer did corrupt him in some capacity, it did not do so completely.

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that I think that Garmadon only turned out "evil" because that is what he was viewed as. His entire life, he was raised to believe he was evil, and everyone around him believed he was evil. The FSM saw Garmadon's Oni blood obviously outweighing his dragon blood, and considered that to be evil, and likely passed that belief onto Wu, whether intentional or not.

Now, this is where I go back to the main topic, Sensei Garmadon. I think that Sensei Garmadon didn't act "evil" because he felt as though he didn't have to any more. I don't really know how to explain how exactly Garmadon's form changed occurred as a result of the Overlord un-possessing him, but Oni can shapeshift, so it is plausible that Garmadon didn't change as a person, but his view on himself changed. Therefore, he felt he no longer had to be evil because nobody around him was claiming he was anymore.

Season 8 Fight w/ Lloyd

This is like, one of the biggest points I have to make. I want to say, before I get into it; I am not trying to completely remove all blame from Garmadon, but I just want to explain my personal thoughts on the situation.

So, firstly, I'd like to address Garmadon's very first line of dialogue before the fight; It was foolish to come here.

Now this shows that it's likely Garmadon did not want to fight. Of course, it could've been more of a threat, but in my mind it seems more as though he had hoped Lloyd would not fall for the trap.

I would also like to mention how much is probably going through Garmadon's mind during Season 8 and Season 9, in general.

He has just been ripped from the claws of death, and is probably in insane amounts of pain (his voice sounds strained during the fight, not mention his ribcage is literally showing), and the first thing he is told is that he has to kill his son to reach his true potential, and to protect his father's realm. A lot of people don't acknowledge that Harumi literally manipulated Garmadon and I think that's really crazy?? Like, she takes advantage of the fact he's struggling with amnesia and is in pain and is like "lol i brought you back as purely evil and all you can do is cause destruction because you're fully oni!!! go murder your son now!!!" Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that I don't think that the fight with Lloyd in Season 8 is entirely Garmadon's fault. There's a lot of things that fueled how he was feeling-- not to mention what he says right after Lloyd speaks to him for the first time; You've...you've changed.

I'd be kinda upset too-- if the first time I see my son in years, he's completely changed, basically gone through puberty.

tldr, I think that manipulation and generally being overwhelmed fueled a lot of what Garmadon did in s8-s9 in general, not just the fight scene.

Christofern

This one means a lot to me. Like I have such strong feelings about this.

I HATE when people say "Garmadon cares about a plant more than his own son!!"

Guys. The plant is Garmadon's way of trying to learn compassion and be better so that he can make it up to Lloyd. Christofern in general is a metaphor for Lloyd, Christofern is Garmadon's symbol for Lloyd.

They even point this out in the show during a discussion between Nya and Garmadon!

Nya: Why are you carrying around a plant?

Garmadon: It was the only green in my life. I had hoped it would grow, and thrive, and perhaps, one day ... forgive me. But now it's gone, and I am alone.

Nya: We're talking about the plant, right?

Garmadon: Of course! What else?

Obviously Garmadon says that he's just talking about Christofern, but,, c'mon...do you really think this man is going to admit he's a little sentimental to any of the ninja... he's literally the emotional wall of the century... /hj

Also, this conversation with Nya is had IMMEDIATELY after Lloyd storms off because Garmadon said he was positive they would lose to the Overlord.

So the line But now it's gone, and I am alone. could easily be Garmadon projecting that he's upset that their conversation ended badly and Lloyd stormed off, and that Lloyd will probably get hurt or die in the battle.

Oni Training w/ Lloyd

This one is pretty simple for me to explain, but I've seen a lot of people that don't like how harsh Garmadon was when he was trying to teach Lloyd how to achieve his Oni form.

Personally, I'm nearly 100% sure that Garmadon was only being as mean as he was to inspire Lloyd to be angry so that he could achieve his Oni form; of course this isn't really the best way to go about it, but Garmadon probably only knows how to trigger his Oni form when it is correlated with anger and/or distress, so he probably assumed it would be the same for Lloyd.

I also think this applies to him faking his death; but of course it was extreme and I can understand being upset about it.

So...that's all I had to say. I might come back and add more later? Sorry if this was really incoherent I just typed this all up in one sitting to get it off my mind. In general, I just hope to give people a different perspective on Garmadon's character I suppose? I just,, don't really like that he's like...usually hated or only simped over.

But, again, this is just my opinion, and I'm not trying to change yours <3

[justatalkingface]

The Failure of Corruption in Heroes

So, here's the thing with MHA: when it first started, it made a lot of promises to the readership; there's Izuku becoming a hero, of course, but I'm talking more about the unstated promises, about the themes that were presented to us, which are as much the reason I got as into the story as I did as the characters were. A lot of these themes, over time, have fallen to the wayside, and today I'm talking about one I mention again and again: corruption in heroics.

I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say that early on this was one of the biggest themes we were shown, and one that presented as early as the first chapter, no less.

From Mt. Lady kill stealing for glory, to Stain getting a cult following for killing the "corrupt" (more on my contempt for Stain later), heroic corruption was referred all over early on, and even now, in the grim post war era it still clings to life.

Here's the problem: where are the corrupt heroes?

I can count, on one hand, all of them: there's three who are on screen for more than five minutes, Endeavour, Hawks, and Lady Nagant. There's aso that mole for the MLF that get picks up before the raid who is there for about a minute.

And... that's it.

I mean, that's three and a half examples; that seems pretty good, right? The thing is that this problem isn't supposed to be an aberration, it's supposed to be systemic. Stain murders people, and one speech seems to give him a cult following, to the point where he has merch. This is something that almost every major villain talks about; this is supposed to be a lot more prevalent than Endeavour and the Hero Commissions barely expanded on black ops squad.

Where's the heroes taking bribes, or working with small time villains? Where the abuse of power? Where are all the other abusive spouses? Where is all the typical things you'd expect of a corrupt law enforcing institution?

On top of that, there was a focus early on about what heroes meant, but after awhile that petered out as well.

One of the big things of MHA, you see, is that hero is a multifaceted word in setting; it refers to people who save people, yeah. It's also a job, though, one with massive influence, merchandising, public accolades and presumably income.

Izuku, early one, seemed like he'd be the one to... redeem heroics, take them back to their more vigilante roots of just helping people rather than having it as some big popularity contest... which it honestly is? We don't really know what metrics go into ranking heroes, which honestly is probably a damaging concept in itself, but it seems to be heavily involved with the public perception of said heroes, if not completely coming from it.

We had a nice contrast to Izuku, to show this grey area, with Bakugou, who wanted to be rich and famous, Ochako, who wanted money for her family, and just the way UA itself operates at times, with things like the Sports Festival being as much about branding as anything else, and the heroes in the first chapter just standing around instead of trying to save the child dying in front of them.

And the thing is, all of that is a good setup for Izuku, as an audience proxy, to start getting past his blind hero worship and start questioning the system he wants to be a part of; not just how it fails the regular people, but also how it preys on heroes themselves, but it just never happens. That grey area starts fading away over time.

I think it was supposed to be sparked by Stain, at some point into something more, and in story, that's apparently what happened. In reality...

Yeah... about Stain. He has a point, in theory. He's a crazy serial killer, but he's not completely wrong. In practice though? He's supposed to hunt the corrupt. We... we don't see that. Almost all the heroes he's attack have been, at best, names, and then there's Tensei, who I'll get to in a second. If these are corrupt heroes, shouldn't we... hear about that? That they were threatening people, maybe, or taking bribes, or... something, to spark these attacks? And that's not even getting into Tensei, who, from everything we've seen in the spin off, was honestly the ideal kind of hero, kind, helpful, inspirational.

So, it's weird that Stain is attacking him, right?

Actually, not really. Stain has this idealized view of heroes, where if they aren't All Might, society's vision of the ideal hero and someone he almost literally worships, they aren't worth living, and that's why he falls flat as this big symbol of societies darkness or whatever; attacking heroes for failing to be heroic, for doing bad shit, is one thing, something that makes his takes more valid. What he's actually doing is attacking everyone that doesn't meet his personal vision of perfection, which pretty much invalidates whatever is left of his point once you got past all the murdering.

And then, as if to lampshade how much he doesn't work, Hori gets rid of him right after, and after maybe ten chapters he almost never comes up again.

So why is it like this? This is something I brought up when I talked about the League, if approached from the other direction: Hori is afraid of his heroes being wrong, and while he makes the villains always seem wrong to discredit them, he also makes his heroes always seem right so they seem infallible. At this point, I'm not sure if he chickened out part way through his writing, or editors or the industry stopped him, or he just never meant to go in depth into all of this, but so much of the story revolves around the idea that heroes are imperfect.

But we don't see that.

Can you imagine how much harder all the Stain stuff would have hit, for example, if every time he attacked someone he leaked an exposé on who he attacked and why? If every 'victim' he attacked turned out to be a criminal in their own right? And, I feel like I'm doing Tensei dirty by saying this, but imagine the development for Iida if he finds out his brother, his beloved brother he looked up to, was bad? Did bad things? Maybe even, dare i say deserved to be attacked? How his internal debate over taking up the name Ingenium would have looked?

Or when Momo is apprenticed to a hero who spends all her time on fashion shows and commercials, if she said, 'No, I became a hero to save people, not to sell out', and took a stand against a woman who seemed to be almost using her to make a quick buck .

Or... anything, really.

Because for this big, systemic issue, all we really have is Endeavour, who Hori started engaging in Initial D worthy U-Turns to try and salvage the perception of his character almost immediately after he was introduced. Less than a year of in story after it started, no non-villain ever says an unkind word about him any more because he's apparently changed that much. We also have Hawks and the Commission pulling his strings, but since they were killed off off screen that's just... better now, apparently, and we should never talk about them ever again even if the organization itself is still there, and Lady Nagant who, as a character introduced Post War, by default barely even exists.

Oh, and you know, Post War itself. Let me sum up how Post War talked about heroic corruption in the press conference shortly after it begins:

Hawks: Ah, yes, cold-bloodedly executing Twice really tore me up. Deep inside.

*pats chest*

Right here.

Reporter: ...Your heart is on the other side of your body. That's so far to the side... there's nothing important even there.

Hawks: And?

Reporter: Endeavour! Endeavour! What do you say to critics who cite... *checks notes* ...Your entire existence?

Endeavour: Watch me.

Reporter: What? What does that have to do with-

Endeavour, louder: Watch me!

Reporter: But what abou-

Endeavour, screaming now as he burns down the podium: WATCH ME!!!!

Hawks, under orders, joined a bunch of villains for months, apparently killed someone to get entry, blended enough that only a perpetually paranoid shell of a human being saw through his act, and killed a man on national television.

Endeavour was so desperate for success that he married a woman to breed her like she was cattle, and discarded every child she bore like a particularly jaded gatcha player until he got the proxy he desired for his ambitions.

I know I hammed up the responses a lot, but their answers to these problems answered nothing, solved nothing, and barely acknowledged anything, yet it was presented to us as, well, important, like it helped show how sorry they are, and how much they really mean that they'll do better this time, honest.

And this is the pinnacle of the supposed corruption in the later parts of the story, since stuff was theoretically happening off screen, while Lady Nagant showed up and repented in a matter of minutes.

The thing is, for this big, corrupt system, one that is failing so badly that it's collapsing, we never really see the corruption. It's only there, conveniently, so it can provide backstories to motivate the villains, and then vanishes. Meanwhile, all the heroes are, to a man, woman, and apprentice, blindingly Good, willing to sacrifice themselves for the cause (or for Hori's fan favorite), or at worst willing to quit when they don't think they can do it anymore, and that doesn't seem particularly corrupt, now does it?

You can tell us until you're blue in the face about how the heroic industry is flawed, Hori, but until you actually show us these flaws, it'll only fall flat.

[anti-katsuki-lounge]

This is about your 'Who's your least/favourite character and why' post. (P.S. this is a long one)

I'd have to say my least favorite is Uraraka. Now, I KNOW this is probably a common hot take, but she is just a COMPLETE and total waste of character and story-telling potential.

She seemed to have something going on there for a while, but a s many fans have pointed out, she kind of became a potato after the Sports Festival Arc. And that was a total shame because that arc opened up a bunch of cans of worms that could have been delved into. We got to see her interacting with her one of parents, we got to see her resourcefulness and her want to be independent. She tried her hardest and it wasn't enough, but you know what? She learned from it! She decided to focus on her lacking points (fighting) and it was nice to see her grow like that! She was also one of the few characters that wanted to be a rescue hero, so I was excited to see how her path to hero hood and her views on heroism differed from her classmates in that aspect. But nope! Hori threw all that out the window during their final exams, and let me clarify, I have no problem with romantic sub-plots. They can be interesting when it's NOT THE FOCUS.

Hori took a female character, made her seem like she was just going to be the bubbly love interest, turned her into a badass with her own goals and interesting characteristics, and then made her the bubbly love interest again. He had it going for awhile, but then he bombed! Uraraka has her moments where we see glimpses of her could-be self, but in the end she always comes back to Deku. She even promised to forget her crush for the sake of pursuing her dream during the licensing exam and SHE DIDN'T.

But okay, Deku left for awhile, Uraraka realized the kind of hero she wanted to be for the third time and I foolishly hoped this would be expanded upon more, her want to save heroes, but nope! She instead blames them for all the eff-up shit going down at the moment. Now, I'm not completely caught up with the manga at the moment, but from what I gather, she is still just Deku's love interest but is also used as a tool to further Toga now. I just, it baffles me. And like I said, I know I'm parroting a lot, but that is because it's true!

As for my favorite (and I know this will be predictable) it's Dabi. I'll get to the plot part of why I like him later. For now though, I'll say the real-world reason why I like him. As someone who has experienced abuse in multiple forms by multiple parents, I love the way he calls Endeavor out on it. He doesn't forgive him, he doesn't just forget about it. I have forgiven both my abusers, and while one was much worst than the other, I feel like I shouldn't have fully forgiven them. I want to call them out, I want to hate them, I want to stand way above them and laugh in their faces. I've never been assertive or great at expressing my feelings, but Dabi does. This is just my personal bias, on to the analysis.

For one thing, Dabi had a HUGE development from when we first saw him. Not just in his relationships, but his character as a whole. He was kind of flat in the beginning, a lone, smug villain who wanted to end hero society. And he stayed that way for awhile, but he started interacting with the other villains more. While I have no doubt his mind never drifted from his intention to use the league to get back at Endeavor, he seemed to think of them more as his team mates. And he obviously grew to care for them, he cried for Twice and attacked Hawks because he killed him (that was also because Hawks was a mole) and he burned Toga's house down for her, because he knew how hurt she was. Even with Hawks, he knew pretty much the whole time he was a double agent but he went out of the way to tell him more info then he needed too and they both seemed to spend more time together then what was necessary. He views Shigaraki as the leader and seems to have some (some) respect for him in that aspect.

We also get his backstory. We see how he came to be, we were let in on his motivations and that really helped him. Before he was just some joe who agreed with Stain but like Spinner, we saw why that was. And honestly, for someone who seemed to be so infatuated and agreeing with Stain, he hardly mentions Stain or his ideals, and you know, I kind of like that. He has moved on towards completely and realizing his own dreams instead of someone elses. His parts seemed to be well written and despite being a sociopath, he just seems so much more relatable and human compared to the 'good guys'. Hori has also spent more time flushing out character development for him instead of pointless fight scenes. At this point, I feel like Hori likes the villains more than the heroes.

This is just my opinion though! Thx for listening :)

With your points on Ochako, her character is something I wanna cover over on my other blog cause Hori’s done some great things with her and has dropped the ball in other areas.

With your points about Dabi, you actually bring up things I never considered. In terms of his relationship with his fellow villains, he’s definitely developed for the reasons you’ve mentioned.

[gaykarstaagforever]

The novel Watership Down has been on my pile of things I need to read for awhile now. But Tumblr and video games exist so I'm not sure when I'll get to it.

Instead I watched the 1978 English animated adaptation. Which is good, aside from the fact that it is trying to jam a 500 page fantasy novel into an hour and a half: the pace is brisk to say the least, and a few times I had to pause it and try to remember why in particular rabbits are getting killed in this scene.

...And trigger warning, rabbits do get killed a LOT in this movie. If they had titled it Watch Rabbits Get Killed for 90 Minutes, people would watch it and get upset that you didn't warn them about all the rabbit-killing. This is like Saving Private Ryan with rabbits.

Is that a bad thing? I don't think so. This is a universe where anthropomorphized rabbits live like actual rabbits: everything eats them, and their one defense is running away. Rabbits being killed is like 50% of what rabbits do. It would be disingenuous to leave that out.

Now what's odd to me is that the author of the novel based it on stories he used to tell his young daughters. ...You told your kids tales of a brutal rabbit civil war, in which the rabbits cry out to their god for help, and he turns his back on them? That's...I mean, Cinderella is good, too, dude.

I thought initially all this rabbit brutality was an allegory for something. And it may be, up to the point when the rabbits brave terrors to settle on the titular Watership Down. But that's only the first half of the movie. Then it turns into a thing where our heroes and their deranged seagull friend must battle Rabbit Stalin for access to sweet rabbit p*ssy. And suddenly I'm not sure what we're doing.

Maybe nothing. It doesn't have to be Animal Farm to justify itself. It may just be a fun story about Fantasy Rabbit Moses and Joshua leading the Rabbit Jews to a sexy new Promised Land. Which is...something. But you're allowed. It's entertaining, at any rate.

And rabbits making more rabbits is the other 50% of what rabbits do, so again, you sort of have to put it in. It would be jarring if your Rabbit The Hobbit didn't have a subplot about them all getting laid.

The animation is good but a little rough-hewn, like 90s television animation (think like Animaniacs or Ducktales). Or maybe if you gave the people who did the old Danger Mouse cartoon a really big budget. Fitting for a UK production. People compare it to "anime," but people compare everything that isn't The Lion King to what they vaguely remember Akira being, which doesn't help anyone understand anything. It isn't like the Rankin Bass stuff where it is a Western production animated by a Japanese studio - this was UK animators. I'm being pedantic because every adult animation with graphic violence isn't fucking "omg like anime." Anime is 8 trillion different things. There is more than Disney and "anime." Expand your reference palate.

It's on MAX, and is certainly worth seeing. It really isn't like anything else. Maybe a little like Secret of Nimh? The book, not the movie. I actually read that book but DIDN'T see the movie, in this case. But the animals in that are sentient for sci-fi reasons and that is the core of that story. Watership Down has more in common with White Fang or Fox and the Hound, or Bambi. It obviously inspired all of that Redwall stuff, which are other books I was supposed to read at some point but haven't.

The UK certainly likes their cute furry animals going through a Game of Thrones. Since I am like 99% those people, I don't know if I want to know what that implies.

Also special shout-out to the LYING BASTARDS who gave the DVD this cover:

These are like the two scenes in the entire movie where a rabbit isn't getting mauled to death, probably by another rabbit.

Here is the original movie poster:

He looks like he's escaping a concentration camp at dawn. That...isn't far off, actually.

[notaboynotagirljustalilbaby]

Im.. not quite nonverbal rn, but it feels like talking just isn't an option? I've felt like this since I woke up and I HAVE spoken to the cat and to my mom, and I drove to the [public transit] station just fine but with the voice thing and feeling a bit floaty and being... not quite small last night, but kind of nearish it at points(?) last night.. idk.

Just feel weird, and I regressed after a bad dream on Sunday and my regression tends to be.. clustered? In a sense? Like I'm more likely to regress if I have recently.

---

I was texting my friend, [i can't find a tag for him but I've referred to him as 'penpal friend' before so ig I'll use that and edit/update later if i find that hes labeled as something else on here], when I regressed on Sunday and we set up a code a few months ago to let him know if I was small/smallish because cursing makes me really uncomfortable when I'm small (makes me feel bad-vulnurable, unsafe, just overall yucky), but I literally could not care less about it when I'm big abs regularly curse myself. All that to say that I sent the code (code bc saying it can be hard sometimes and also it doesn't have to be part of the conversation, I just.. need it to shape the conversation a bit, yk?) and he acknowledged the code and we kept chatting.. and then he cursed in one of his messages and I was feeling a bit bigger by then but it still felt a bit 'wrong' and he didn't know I was getting bigger so if nothing else.. the principle of it felt a bit like a betrayal, in a sense?

I brought it up to him the next day when I was firmly adult and brainstormed some ways to hopefully stop it from happening again. And he apologized and hadn't even realized he'd done it (partially bc he was sick at the time) - and I knew he wouldn't have done it on purpose and probably hadn't realized (but that doesn't mean I should let a boundary get crossed without bringing it up once I'm able)... and part of all of this was me realizing that we had a way of communicating when I'm small but nothing to say when I was big again. So now the single emoji I was using to indicate being regressed (🐤) has officially expanded to a spectrum, with any of these 🥚🐣🐥🐤 meaning I'm small or close to it (specific, detailed meanings haven't been assigned to each, but the eggs are basically me going 'hey I'm real teeny rn' and the chicks are a more general little/ish).. and probably most importantly, 🐓 to indicate once I'm confidently big again.

I haven't had cause to use any of them, but I considered it last night when I was feeling pretty close to small - except I realized that we weren't even texting right then, and it's not like the goal is to tell him every time I feel little, the goal is so he knows -when we ARE talking- that he's talking to a kid!

And I think it's important for me to remember that, especially when I am little. It's one thing if I'm little AND decide I want to talk to him, but there's no reason to tell him I'm small just cause. It's important I remember that he's not my caregiver, just a friend who is willing to accommodate me when I'm vulnerable.

---

Also, while I'm here, I don't know if I mentioned it, but I finally told my therapist I regress! That happened.. probably 2 months ago or something, now? But it's a big step for me because I've never told a therapist before.. or really anyone who I wasn't really close to.* I've been seeing this therapist for awhile now (over a year), but we only meet every 3-4 weeks, so it doesn't always feel like it. Anyway, he was chill about it, and asked what age.. and I was embarrassed so I told him like, young toddler, I think? 2 or 3, probably, idr exactly. Which, it's not untrue, but I definitely get firmly 'baby' fairly often when I regress. Probably more often than toddler/young kid. Maybe I'll open up about it more at some point (it hasn't come up in a session since), but either way, I'm proud of myself for taking that first step!

*with maybe a few exceptions? Like, I wasn't necessarily super duper close with Roommates R and Red when they were told, but I was close with Roommate D and they were all close at the time and Roommate D knew it'd be safe to tell them bc they both regressed too... idr now what order who found out about who, or if I ever knew, but there was trust there, still.

Also I wouldn't have told Roommates B, C, and D as early as I did, if at all, if Roommate D hadn't asked me directly. I probably would've told Roommate B, at least, eventually though - especially when we decided to keep living together for a second (and later, third) year.

[theepost]

My Video Game Journey | Discovering Games & Game Play

When COVID-19 hit and the whole world went into quarantine, it felt like almost every single young adult was playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons. People who never normally played video games were buying gaming consoles just to play. Personally, I have never found a game that I enjoy and want to continue playing until my fiancé suggested this game. 

I am probably speaking for a lot of people here, but New Horizons is addicting. Don’t get me wrong I definitely had times where I felt very burnt out, but I still played every single day with only a few days missed between now and when I started playing in May 2020. That is pretty consistent, especially for someone who has never really played video games on a regular basis.

Growing up with parents who are against video games.

When I was younger, my parents did not allow us to play video games. Don’t get me wrong we were allowed to take turns playing games on our family computer, but we were never allowed to have a gaming console. My parents felt it would be a distraction from school and homework.

I'm not a parent, but I know there is a lot of back and forth about this topic between parents. Some think it's completely fine and helps kids learn how to manage their time between school, homework, and their personal lives. Other parents allow it, but are very strict about when their kids can use it. Then their are parents who are completely against it.

The way I look at it, however you want to raise your kids and teach them life lessons and life skills is completely up to you. Obviously don't abuse your kids, but whether they are able to play video games or not is completely fine either way. It's the parents choice and no one should be giving them a hard time about it. Well, unless you are the kid who wants to play video games and your parents tell you that you can't. I think at that point there is no avoiding the tantrums.

Getting my first handheld gaming console.

When I was in middle school or when I just starting high school, I asked my parents for the Nintendo Game Boy Advance SP for Christmas. I remember thinking they were never going to get it for me because they were so against my sisters and I playing video games. To my surprise, "Santa" left me a Nintendo Game Boy Advance SP under the tree that year.

The games that came with the Game Boy was Crash Bandicoot: The Huge Adventure and Need for Speed: Porsche Unleashed. Since I had never really played any video games before I wasn't on top of what games were new and trendy at the time, however I absolutely LOVED Crash Bandicoot: The Huge Adventure. I remember when I finished all the levels, I played them all again so I could have a perfect score.

I purchased a few other games after getting my Game Boy and The Simpsons: Road Rage was another game I enjoyed. If anyone ever reads this they are probably going to be completely surprised by what I am about to say, but I never really watched The Simpsons growing up. I know a lot of people did, but I never really got into it. For some reason though, I wanted to get The Simpsons: Road Rage. I played that game a lot, but I do not think I played it nearly as much as Crash Bandicoot: The Huge Adventure.

Around my senior year of high school I slowly stopped playing on my Game Boy. I was either at school, doing homework, working, or hanging out with my friends. There wasn't as much free time to play anymore. I am now 25 years old and to this day I still have my Game Boy. Cannot remember the last time I played on it, but I do not think I will every get rid of it. It was my first handheld gaming console, there are a lot of good memories with it, and it still works! I see no reason why I should or need to get rid of it.

Discovering Animal Crossing.

After I stopped playing on my Game Boy, I never really found a game that I consistently played. Usually when I found a game I would play it for a couple weeks to a couple months then would grow very bored of it and eventually uninterested. However my fiancé was big into playing video games and was mainly playing them on his Xbox One. If he was growing tired of a game, he usually had another one lined up.

At one point the Nintendo 2DS was very popular and was sold out everywhere. My fiancé really wanted one so he could play Pokémon Moon. Somehow, I managed to get my hands on them and surprised him for Christmas. He played that game for a few months to a year then he slowly stopped playing. One day I asked him why he stopped playing and he explained that he just grew tired of it. I completely understood because I have also been in that situation before with the games I played on my Game Boy.

To avoid having the 2DS sit and collect dust, I asked if he wanted to get another game for it. He didn't seem interested in any of the 2DS games they had to offer at the time, but he suggested a game to me that he thought I would enjoy. That is when he told me about Animal Crossing: New Leaf and Animal Crossing: New Horizons.

At the time, there was only Animal Crossing: New Leaf and Animal Crossing: New Horizons was scheduled to be released in the next few months. I believe this was around the end of 2019 and New Horizons was scheduled to release in early 2020.

After doing some research on the game, I was VERY excited. I purchased Animal Crossing: New Leaf for the Nintendo 2DS and I played all the time. Any downtime I had, I was playing. I LOVED this game! After playing for awhile, Animal Crossing: New Horizons was released and I wanted it so bad.

At the time, Nintendo was completely sold out of the Nintendo Switch everywhere. They were insanely popular because of the new game release and since everyone was forced to quarantine due to COVID-19 everyone was stuck inside with nothing to do but play video games. The only console that was available was the Nintendo Switch Lite.

What is the difference between the Nintendo Switch and the Nintendo Switch Lite? The Switch can used when connected to a TV in the docking station provided, as a handheld, or as a tabletop display by using the kickstand on the back of the switch. The Switch Lite can only be used as a handheld.

Since I was so excited for the game and wanted to play so badly, my fiancé got me the Switch Lite as an early birthday gift. I really wanted the Switch, but since I am so impatient and Nintendo was not clear on when they would restock I decided that the Switch Lite would be perfect because I was use to using a handheld anyway.

Playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons.

When I finally started playing the game I played nonstop for hours a day. Collecting supplies, catching bugs, digging up fossils, popping balloons, catching fish, planting trees, planting flowers, designing the island, inviting new villagers, expanding my home... You name it, I was doing it. Anything to get a five star “aesthetic” island that is considered Pinterest worthy.

Like a lot of other people, I have completely redesigned my island countless times. There is nothing better than completely changing everything up to design a newly styled island. I have also completely restarted my island two times. Which I mainly did this because I did not want to go through the whole island and tare everything down, I didn't really like the villagers I had, and I also just wanted to experience the game again from square one. I have always enjoyed designing spaces and have always been really into art, so it feels like this game was made for me.

My future with video games.

When COVID-19 hit and the whole world went into quarantine, it felt like almost every single young adult was playing Animal Crossing: New Horizons. People who never normally played video games were buying gaming consoles just to play. Personally, I have never found a game that I enjoy and want to continue playing until my fiancé suggested this game.

I am probably speaking for a lot of people here, but New Horizons is addicting. Don’t get me wrong I definitely had times where I felt very burnt out, but I still played every single day with only a few days missed between now and when I started playing in May 2020. That is pretty consistent, especially for someone who has never really played video games on a regular basis.

Now that I have been playing New Horizons for about a year now, I feel like I am going to continue to play it for awhile. I will admit when I first got the game, I was playing it way too much. Recently I have been so much better about it and only play for about an hour a day. On days I feel very lazy and do not really want to do anything, I'll play for longer than an hour, but it also depends on what I am doing in the game at that time. I'm just glad I'm not spending all day playing anymore.

For me, I think video games are fun and good to play in moderation and I am not planning on cutting video games out of my life anytime soon. I know there are people who play video games hours daily or do it for a living. After that, on completely the other side of things, there are people who have never played video games and completely hate the idea of video games. Then there are people out there that say that they have tried playing video games and never enjoyed it, but I personally think they just haven't found their game yet. If you happen to be one of those people and you are reading this, do not give up on finding your game! Once you find it, you will be so happy you kept looking.

At the end of the day, do whatever makes you happy. I am just another person on the internet telling their story. If anyone ends up reading this, I hope you enjoyed and continue to read my future posts. There isn't really a plan on when I will be posting or what I will be posting about, but I do know I will be posting regularly.

- E

[honeyimthedevil]

I got inspired by @starker-sorbet 's moodboard

And I love mermaids. I couldn't not do this.

Pairing: Peter Parker x Tony Stark

Word count: 1,8K

***

Tony doesn't know what made him go down to the beach that day. But he was glad he did. As he was walking down the sand he saw something. And the person he is he went to investigate. He, for sure, didn't expected to find that. So beautiful, half in the ocean, half laying on the sand. Tony went closer and touched it softly. He didn't receive a reaction.

"What are you?" Tony muttered under his breath, "you look like a mermaid. But what are you doing here? What should I do?"

The man stood there for a while, thinking. Should he leave it here? Should he take it to the house and put it in the pool so he can get some information? But the mermaid didn't look good. It might've been injured.

He took his final decision and walked closer. He picked it up carefully and walked back to the mansion. Where should he put it? He only wanted to help but it'll probably be scared when it wake up. Tony stopped for a moment considering his next move again. He can leave it here and still help it. But if he brings it to the house he can have a closer look and be able to be more helpful. He continued walking. The door automatically opening as he approached it, he walked in the mansion. That was the moment he appreciated his enormously big bathtub. He set the mermaid in it and turned on the water. He made sure the water wasn't too hot or too cold and walked out of the bathroom to do some research. He needed to know more about the mermaid kind.

An hour later he went back to his bathroom to turn off the water. He looked over the mermaid after he stopped the water. It was beautiful. The tale was a beautiful orange with light blue and some white here and there. It's skin was slightly pink from being under the sun for god knows how long. And on top of it's head was a mop of curls for a hair. Tony took one last look and walked out. Just as he was nearing the living room he heard a scream. He ran back to the bathroom and looked at the tub. The mermaid has curled in itself at the side.

"Hey," Tony said in gentle voice, "It's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you. Do you understand me?" The mermaid nodded, "My name is Tony Stark. Can I know yours?"

The man barely heard the faint, "Peter" that left the mermaid's lips.

"It's really nice to meet you Peter. Please correct me if I'm assuming wrong, but you're male, right?" The small nod answered his question.

Tony nodded back at him and gave him a small smile.

"How did you ended on the beach, Peter?"

"I got caught in a fishman's fishnet. I passed out. And then I woke up here" the merman explained.

"Are you feeling well? Do you need something?"

"My tail hurts, where it was caught in the fishing net. And I'm kind of hungry"

"Is there anything to help your tail?" Tony asked.

"I just won't move it for awhile. I'll be alright"

"Okay. Um, what do you wanna eat?"

"Do you have tuna?"

"Yes, I do. I'll bring you a can"

Tony went to the pantry and took a can of tuna. He opened it and walked back to Peter.

"Here you go" Tony handed him the can. He was now laying near the edge, tail expanded across the tub.

"What's that?" Peter looked up at Tony.

"It's tuna. It's not the best you can find but that's what I have now"

Peter smelled it and digged his fingers in the can, bringing them to his mouth and trying the fish. He chewed it and then looked back up at Tony with big eyes.

"It's good!" He exclaimed.

"I'm glad you like it. I'll be back in a sec. You can finish it"

Tony walked out of the bathroom and was in his room. He changed out of his swim shorts to a normal pair of shorts and took of his sweaty shirt, not putting on another one. It was hot. He made himself a quick sandwich and walked back to Peter. The can was laying empty on the floor and the merman was looking at himself in the mirror across the room.

"Hey" Tony said and took a bite from his sandwich.

"That's me!" He pointed at his reflections.

"Yes, that's you. By the way, I like your tail. It's very pretty"

"Thanks! You can touch it if you want to" Peter said.

Tony leaned forwards, his hand sinking in the water. He touched the little scales and ran his fingers over them.

"Thank you for letting me touch your tail"

"No problem!" Peter beamed.

"You seem happy now. Does that mean you're not scared of me?"

"I'm not scared of you. You're a very nice human!"

"Thanks. Do you want me to move you to the pool? It's bigger"

"I like it here for now. You're gonna let me back in the ocean, right?" Peter asked.

"Of course I will. I just wanna make sure you're all right"

"Okay"

They fell in comfortable silence. Tony was sitting on the floor, his hands floating through the water, making little waves.

"I have a question" he suddenly blurted out.

"Yes?"

"So, we have this thing where we all agreed that when mermaids dry out they get legs. Is it true?"

"Technically, yes. But I haven't tried it before"

"Okay. But, have you considered doing it?"

"A few times, yes"

"Tony, are you here?" A new voice asked.

"I'll be back in a sec, Pete"

Tony walked in the hall and closed the door to his bedroom.

"Hey Pep. I didn't expected you today"

"I wasn't supposed to be here. There are some changes in your scedual and I know that you won't open an e-mail that sais, 'new scedual', that's why I came here to give it to you in person"

"You know me so well, Pep. Um, can you leave it in the living room. I have something to do. I'll look at it later"

"What are you up to, Tony?" The woman asked, suspiciously.

"It's nothing you should worry about. It's nothing bad, I promise"

"Okay. I'm gonna be going now. Bye, Tony. Don't do anything stupid"

"I won't, Pep, don't worry. Bye"

The man watched as she walked away. He went back to Peter.

"Do you wanna do something?" Tony asked as he entered the room.

"What can we do?"

"I can ask FRIDAY to project a movie"

"A movie? We can do that"

"Would you mind if I join you in the tub?"

"No, it's your... tub"

"Cool. Let me change out of those" he pointed at his shorts.

A minute later Tony was back in his swim trucks. He got in the tub and layed next to Peter.

"What muvei are we gonna watch?"

"It's called movie," Tony chuckled, "and I was thinking about watching 'Bambi'. I think you'll like it"

"Okay! Let's watch this Bambi"

"Baby girl, can you project it on the wall?" Peter looked around confused.

"Of course, boss" the AI responded.

"Wow! I didn't know you humans have this kind of things!"

"We humans don't have this kind of things. Only I have it. I made her myself"

"You must be smart!"

"One of the smartest"

The movie appeared on the light tales and the scenes started rolling. Peter moved closer to Tony and laid his head on the man's shoulder. Tony wrapped his arm around the merman. When the movie was over the man looked at Peter. His eyes were closed and his breathing was slow and steady.

"FRIDAY, what am I supposed to do?" Tony asked with a low voice.

"There's nothing about what you should do with a sleeping merman in the internet, sir"

"I'm gonna take him to the guest room" Tony muttered to himself. He got out of the tub and got Peter in his arms. He walked to the bedroom next to his and put the merman on the bed, covering him with a blanket.

"Have sweet dreams, Pete"

Tony dried himself off and climbed in bed completely naked.

The man was awaken early in the morning by FRIDAY.

"Sir, Peter seems to by trying to walk by himself and not being able to"

Tony quickly put on a pair of underwear and ran to the room next to him. He found the merman now with legs on the floor, naked. Tony crunched down in front of him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey Pete, do you need help?"

"Yes, please"

"Do you want me to pick you up or help you walk?"

"Pick me up"

"Okay"

Tony got him in his hands and stood up. He walked to the living room and set him down on the couch.

"I'm gonna get you some clothes" he walked back to his room and took a T-shirt and briefs. When he got back to the living room Peter was sitting, looking around.

"This place is very nice"

"Thank you. Here, you can put this on"

Peter took the clothes from Tony and observed them. He slipped his legs in the briefs and pulled them up. He looked at the shirt and tried to put it on but ended up with his head in the sleeve. Tony chuckled at him but went to help him.

"Why didn't you leave me in the tub last night?" Peter asked once he got the shirt on himself the right way.

"I didn't know if you would drown if I leave you underwater and I didn't know what to do"

"It's okay" he lifted one of his leg in the air then the other.

"Do you wanna try to walk?" Tony asked.

"Yes, but I'm scared"

"I'm gonna hold you"

The man walked to Peter and helped him get to his feet. He made one, two, three steps.

"Look, you can do it!" Tony encouraged.

"Please don't let me go"

"I won't, Pete"

They walked around the living room, went to the kitchen and back to the living room.

"Do you wanna try by yourself?" Tony asked.

"O- okay. Will you catch me?"

"Of course"

Tony took his hands from Peter and walked in front of him. The merman took a step forwards and didn't fall. He smiled up at Tony and took another one. On the third step Peter stumbled over his feet and fell in Tony's arms, their lips crashing together. Tony pulled away and gazed in Peter's eyes, the merman looking back at him. The man leaned back in, capturing Peter's lips in a sweet kiss, the other kissing him back with the same passion.

"I might stay for longer that I expected" Peter said when they broke the kiss, his hands on Tony's shoulders.

"I won't mind" the man breathed out and leaned in again.

[sheblah]

OK I'm apparently not done talking about this. Here I'm going to expand on my meta that DT's motivation = survival and all else is just a byproduct.

Lots of people have commented that Double Trouble does what they do purely for drama, or chaos, or because they just love destroying lives. It's as valid an interpretation as any, I guess, but I don't agree with it. They are certainly manipulative, but I don't think this trait is incidental to their personality; it's very much intentional on DT's part. If put together with other clues, I think it reveals something very different about them.

What I propose is that ultimately, DT's goal in life isn't to cause drama or have fun at other people's expense (bear with me). Their goal is to survive - or more accurately, to maximize survival chances - and they have a very meticulous way of going about it.

First I want to take a broad look at the elements that shape DT's personality and motives. This might involve some speculation, since we don't know anything about their early life and very little about their internal thoughts, but I'll stick to onscreen evidence as much as I can. What we do know is that they first appear in the Crimson Waste. I choose to assume they live there and have done so for an indeterminate time before their first appearance. And in the Crimson Waste, the strong make the rules. Not everyone can be the "strongest in the Crimson Waste." Most people just have to be strong enough to survive on their own, or else join up with the strongest like Huntara's goons or Tung Lashor's lizard gang. Since DT isn't ostensibly allied to any group in the CW, they're probably the former. And their strength isn't muscle; it lies in deception, observation, and manipulation. As a shapeshifter, they're naturally predisposed to that sort of skillset. They probably started their career of deception by shifting to blend in and escape danger, and then expanded the applications of that ability into eavesdropping, information gathering, and eventually espionage. Their best strength is knowing more than everybody else, and knowing how to use that information.

Let's go back to S4E2 for a moment. This is the first time we see DT:

They're looking down at Adora, Bow, Huntara, and Perfuma. In retrospect I thought this was odd, since they then proceed to approach Catra, not the heroes. They don't interact with the heroes until Catra has them do their "audition." Why show DT watching them? I think, in this moment, DT is choosing which side to join. For at least a moment, they consider offering their services to the Rebellion instead. We also know this because they mention the possibility to Catra.

Now my opinion is biased towards a morally gray interpretation of the character, but to me this is a pretty big hole in the popular rhetoric that DT is evil for the lulz. Why even think about joining the "good guys" if all you want is chaos and destruction? The Rebellion is about stopping all that noise. And why consider them first? We don't see DT watching Catra and sizing her up.

But before we get to that, we have to ask: why get involved in the war at all? What would drive them to leave the Crimson Waste and seek employment in the wider wartorn world of Etheria? I posit that it's because the Waste is no longer survivable.

In that episode, we see that the Valley of the Lost is crawling with Horde soldiers.

They're terrorizing the denizens of the desert. Now these are mostly hardened criminals who aren't easily terrorized, but the Horde has armor and weapons and numbers on their side. As Huntara puts it, "It wasn't always like this. It used to be a great place, where an honest criminal could carve out a life." When she says this, it's news to her; from what we can tell, she's been living in Bright Moon for awhile. But everyone else there has just been living with this new state of affairs however long the Horde has been in their valley - and it's probably been awhile since they have a whole warehouse set up. It's reasonable to assume DT has been suffering from the Horde's presence as much as anyone else who lives there. How can you make a living gathering intel when there are soldiers around every corner interrogating everyone?

It's simple, actually: if you can't beat them, join them. Or maybe join their enemies.

I think they don't have great choices at this point - either keep working and hope that business picks up while ALSO avoiding the aggressive soldiers, or get involved in a war that you and your home have avoided thus far. The choice that gives them the best chance to keep making money - and, you know, living - is to get involved with the war one way or another.

So then, why pick the Horde way? Also simple.

From where DT is standing, the Horde is winning. They have sophisticated technology, abundant resources, and enough soldiers that they can afford to station a few dozen in a remote desert town. Who does the Rebellion send to steal the ship back? Three kids and a former gang leader. And oh sure, one of them is She-Ra, but what's one superpowered princess against an army? Any way you look at it, the Horde's forces are more impressive.

So they offer their services to the Horde first, with the rebels as a backup in case the Horde says no.

So, let's summarize up to this point. Pretend you're DT. You make your living as a spy, but suddenly a powerful presence takes your town by storm and completely disrupts everyone's daily lives. Finding clients becomes difficult, and actually doing the work is next to impossible when the streets are clogged with armed aggressors. Your income starts drying up. You can't avoid the war anymore - the war has come to you. So you decide to join it. You spot a handful of outsiders trying to avoid attention and figure this must be the Rebellion's forces. It's four people versus dozens of armored soldiers with enormous resources. You pick the stronger side. But now you've gone from working with petty thugs to working with literal warlords, and that's a hell of a dangerous position to be in. If you piss off your employer, you just might die. So. How do you cover your ass?

By getting the dirt.

Because that's your strength. That's how you survive. By manipulating the people who could hurt you. By gathering information that could hurt them so bad they couldn't even retaliate. And, hey, you don't necessarily gather this information with the intent to use it - but if the crap hits the fan and you do something that'll get you on a tyrannical world leader's naughty list, well, you need something to defend yourself with. For you, information is the best weapon.

That explains why they're so determined to get in Catra's skin. They want to know what makes her tick, her strengths, her weaknesses, her obsessions. It's not just for the love of acting. These are all bullets that they can use to bring her down if need be. And when they decide to switch to the other side? Need be.

Giving Catra that devastating speech has multiple effects. I think a part of them really does care about Catra and wants to be honest with her. But my theory is that they're mainly trying to get one important message across:

Don't try to retaliate for this betrayal. I know enough to destroy you without throwing a single punch.

As an ending note, I want to examine that line above. "The best way to survive is always choose the winning side." As amusing as the "would sell you to satan for one corn chip" memes are, that's not actually the sort of attitude they have about betraying Catra. They're not talking about getting a reward here. No mention of superior pay is made. They're not saying they destroyed everything she's worked for on a lark (although they may have had a lark in the process). They're talking about literal survival. The basic gift of continuing to stay alive. That's what they betrayed Catra for. They do the math in that cell in Bright Moon, figure they're on the losing side of the war, and decide what they're getting from the Horde isn't worth getting killed over. Anything else they get out of it is incidental.

Mind you, none of this is meant to imply that they don't enjoy messing with people's heads. There's abundant evidence that they do. Rather, my point is that they probably learned how to manipulate people not as a hobby, but as a vital survival skill... and probably long before they learned to enjoy it.