#been super busy and tired and depressed :)

[roslynvb]

“ＴＩＲＥＤ”

includes: a very tired kenji, super fluff! pls get lots of sleep my lovelies<3

It’s been awhile since Kenji has been able to stay awake when coming home. Usually nowadays his schedule is just; get home, brush his teeth, change clothes, go to bed. It’s been like this since taking care of Emi and having to juggle the rest of his life all at once.

Of course you noticed this, but would Kenji ever admit that he needed help?? Probably in your dreams. You’ve seen how he keeps everything to himself and bottles it in. Until it just all falls out.

You decided to change that today when he came home.

The door opens and the lock clicks, it’s so quiet you almost didn’t notice. It was when you heard his feet dragging on the floor you noticed his presence.

“Hey Ken, going to bed soon?” You asked, trying to start up the conversation you had been planning to have with him.

“Mh? Yea. Soon.” He replies, not really giving you a lot to go on. He drops what he has on him and slowly goes up to his room. His hair messy and eye bags clearly visible.

You sigh, knowing those words might be the only ones you’re gonna get tonight. But trying never hurt anyone, right?

You follow him a little after. Closing the bedroom door behind you quietly. Kenji is in the bathroom, brushing his teeth. Pretty lazily you might add…

You walk up to him and lean into his side. He tilts his head a bit to rest it on yours. It’s a quiet but peaceful moment. You started to think about having the conversation tomorrow. Maybe on the weekend when he’s rested.

He finishes brushing his teeth and changes into his pajamas soon after. You’ve already been changed for the past couple hours. You silently join him in bed.

He hasn’t been very touchy with you lately, which is strange but maybe you don’t mind.

You both lay silently, a bit of awkwardness in the air. Kenji can’t sleep, you can’t either. He turns to you. He doesn’t say anything but his eyes and body language say everything.

He wraps one arm around you as tight as a tired man can. You hold his hand and intertwine your fingers together.

It might not seem like a big interaction, but to Kenji it meant the world. Just to hold him for a bit is what he needed. He needed something to relax him. He hasn’t been sleeping, and he knows this is what would help. Touch know this too and grip his hand tighter. Letting him know you don’t plan on letting go.

He slowly but surely falls asleep. A peaceful look on his face. You smile and move hair out of his face. Though it might not even be worth it due to his insane sleeping. You chuckle to yourself at the time he smacked you in his sleep on accident.

You definitely had a busy weekend with him planned. Maybe not so busy, but you plan to give him what he deserves. A quiet, relaxing day. You wonder, maybe a nice spa day, maybe eat out. Whatever he needs, it’ll be.

You then start to drift off too. Holding each other gently and lovingly. He holds so much love for you, you both do.

Hello everyone!!! I Hope you enjoyed this really short one. I wanted to take a break from talking about all that depressing stuff and give you something nice to read. It’s not much but I hope it makes you smile a little. Lots of love to you all and if your reading before you go to bed, goodnight and get a lot of rest!

- zee, ur author that loves u very much and never forget that!

[deadbeatbirdmom]

One of the themes in RWBY is about the current generation being failed by the previous one. We see it a lot with the mess that is the Xiao Long-Rose-Branwen family.

Every single member of Team STRQ failed Yang and Ruby, to a greater and/or lesser extent.

(read more cut because this gets long, although I make no promises that I'll cover everything, and please forgive any typos, I'm very tired)

Raven abandoned her daughter and her husband (yes, husband, according to 'The World of RWBY' book by Daniel Wallace, written with input from CRWBY), and the rest of her team. Yang wasn't old enough to remember her, and may well have still been a baby at the time. The reason why seems to have been for Raven to take the leadership of the Branwen tribe of bandits, although I think it was more complicated than that, which would fit with Raven being such a complicated woman.

Summer. Yang's super-mom. The mother who stepped up. I deeply respect that. She had the best of intentions when she left on that super secret mission with Raven, presumably to confront Salem. To protect her family, and hopefully so she'd never need to leave them again. Unfortunately good intentions pave the road to hell, and she ended up never going home to her girls. That truly tore the family apart, and it never really recovered. Yang's abandonment issues aren't only from Raven leaving, and a lot of Ruby's issues come from trying to live up to the memory of Summer while being held to impossible standards.

Tai didn't react well to the loss of Summer. To quote Yang: he shut down. Yang had to pick up the pieces and keep things together. Alone. Because Tai was always busy with school, and Ruby couldn't talk yet. It's striking that Yang refers to her dad by name in Alone Together when talking to Weiss about it. Most kids don't do that when referring to their parents. Your mileage may vary about what that means, but to me it sounds a lot like resentment. Don't get me wrong, Yang loves her dad. But it's entirely possible to feel both love and resentment.

I do empathise with Tai. I'm all too familiar with grief and loss and depression. I'm sure he did his best, and as far as we know he did keep his kids fed and clothed, and gave them treats from time to time like the boba tea mentioned in the RWBY Beyond episode. But the fact remains that Yang ended up doing more to raise Ruby than she ever should have or would have if at least one of her mothers had stayed. Yang had no reason to lie to Weiss about that.

And Tai definitely failed his daughters. Even without anything else, there's the incident when Yang and Ruby were left alone when clearly too young to be unattended, and Yang went in search of Raven, with Ruby pulled in a wagon. That they weren't devoured by Grimm is thanks to Qrow, and possibly Raven for getting Qrow there, because I don't know how else he found them in time besides good luck for once (or very bad luck for the Grimm).

Does that mean Raven might have given Yang more than one save, or wriggled out of her rule about that by getting Qrow to do the saving? Does she secretly have a bond with Ruby, and that was Ruby's save? Whatever the case, Raven failed them too, because Yang wouldn't have been looking for her if she hadn't needed a mother, and Raven was well aware she no longer had one.

I do think it quite likely that by this point Raven had become the Spring Maiden, so might not have felt able to return even if she wanted to - it would have risked endangering the girls if someone learned Raven was a Maiden and tried to take the power for themselves.

Did that near disaster give Tai a wake up call? Did Yang only raise Ruby until then? We don't know for sure, but as someone raised by a single mother for a while, I can tell you that single parents can't work and raise children without help. There doesn't seem to be any extended family around to have done so, probably all killed by Grimm in the dangerous world that is Remnant... Plus there's Ruby's words to Yang when they're reunited in Volume 9: "If you thought we wouldn’t come for you, then you must’ve forgotten who raised me." I really don't think Ruby is referring to Tai there. Especially with referring to just herself and not both Yang and herself with 'who raised me.'

Childcare exists in Remnant, at least in Argus (there's a mention of needing to collect Jaune's nephew from childcare in Volume 6). I can't imagine it's unheard of in Patch. Yet Tai doesn't seem to have used it. To be clear, if any of the rest of Team STRQ had been left as a single parent they'd have needed help with childcare too, you can't both work and raise children at the same time. That goes for Summer too, even super-mom would need help. Maybe Tai's teaching job didn't pay well enough for him to afford it. Maybe he feared reaching out for help would mean losing his daughters, and I have no doubt that he loves them, and not just because they're all he has left of their mothers.

The way Tai talks to Yang during her training session in Volume 4 does make me wonder if he associates her far too closely with Raven, because while there are similarities Yang is very much her own person and also influenced by Summer far more than by Raven. We don't see him interact much with Ruby, but I wouldn't be surprised if he similarly associates her too much with Summer.

It doesn't help that Yang and Ruby so closely resemble their mothers - and they do, despite Yang's hair and eyes being different to Raven's, apart from when her eyes turn red. That must've given Tai quite a shock the first time it happened... Anyway, my point is that Raven is like a dark reflection of Yang. Or Yang a bright reflection of Raven, I'm not sure which. The physical resemblance of mothers and daughters can't have helped Tai with constant reminders of them, especially as they grew older and the resemblance more striking.

Qrow... I'm sure Drunkle Qrow did his best to help out, but at the time his mindset on his Semblance would have limited him to fleeting visits rather than living with Tai and the girls. He simply loved them too much to want to risk Misfortune hurting them.

That and Qrow was raised by bandits, a rough upbringing where he was made to feel like a bad luck charm. I'm not entirely certain he'd have seen the problem with Yang having to raise Ruby. There is a story in the Yang official manga anthology where Qrow acknowledges kid!Yang has every right to be angry about being burdened with the responsibilities of grown ups, but how canon those anthologies are is ambiguous.

One thing for sure: both Yang and Ruby were familiar with Qrow being drunk, and having to deal with that, although never as bad as it got in Volume 6.

And yes, Ruby does talk about Qrow teaching at Signal, and having taught her to fight, and that Tai taught Yang, but that does not mean they were a happy family living together while that happened. Sorry, this family has been haunted and broken ever since Summer disappeared, and the cracks appeared when Raven noped out of there to be a bandit queen.

I've mostly talked about how Yang was affected. But Ruby was too. Sure, she had more of a childhood than Yang did, because to some extent Yang made sure of that. Chances are Ruby got good at pretending things are fine when they aren't. That and Ruby is quite possibly socially awkward for a reason: she was at least partly raised by a child only two years older than she was. Yang did her best, I've no doubt about that, but there's no way she knew what she was doing.

Why does Yang seem comparatively normal if she at least in part raised herself? Because she's good at blending in and wearing masks. She'd have to be to avoid raising suspicions with her teachers about the situation at home, because Tai couldn't have been the only one who afraid about the kids being taken away. One of Yang's worst nightmares must've been about being taken into care by social services and separated from Ruby. Presuming of course that Remnant has social services. It surely has to have something because of the likelihood of those orphaned by Grimm attacks, in addition to the more usual family breakdowns.

In conclusion: this is such a messy family, and as has been noted by @one-real-wrimonkey that's part of what makes them so interesting (sorry, I hope you don't mind being tagged).

[marysdigdiaries101]

NEW INTERESTS

summary: as business woman barbie, you had to be quite serious and uptight about your field of work. so when you couldn't make it sleepover night, which wasn't unexpected of course ꒰but nevertheless꒱ , stereotypical barbie comes to check up on you.

warning/s: top! barbie, bottom! reader, no smut, but it's implied, fluff/comfort, tired reader, talk of depression, swearing, not proofread, pretend they have genitals btw.

word count: forgot to check lmao

authors note: hi hi hii ! first post omg? i just watched the new barbie movie and..im fucking obsessed, i swear i missed half the movies dialogue tho cause i was admiring margot's gorgeous face. anyway i thought what if we had a super stressed, borderline depressed barbie who just needed a break from her thoughts ? enjoy pookies ! ୨♡୧

+ btw men dni.

navigation ! | ୨♡୧

the wheels of your pastel pink car came to a stop in your driveway as you sluggishly dragged yourself out of the drivers seat. another long day, another girls night you couldn't deal with. bright lights illuminated the moving bodies on the vast dance floor, pointed stilettos tapping and turning swiftly as stiff hands clapped and clicked to the music.

clutching your purse, you moved across the dance floor, avoiding flapping arms and desperate kens in need of a dance partner. as you got to the last section of your mission, you felt a pair of eyes on you, a pair of eyes that were too familiar for you to shake off. looking over to your far left you found a set ocean blue eyes staring right back at you. the one and only stereotypical barbie. the perfect one, the main bitch of barbieland acknowledging your presence.

conversations between the two of you were very scarce. with you having a very busy work life and her having none at all, you never crossed paths that much. but living right across from her was a given, so conversations at times were necessary.

brushing off the nervous feeling that had crept up on you, you silently scolded yourself for the rosy blush that had quickly painted your cheeks. once again, clutching your purse tighter, you resumed your journey to your apartment in the lively dreamhouse.

the scratched door creaked open as you released your grip on the plastic doorknob. in any other room you can pretty much expect bright pinks and yellows and lovely colors..but not yours. in fact it wasn't the case at all.

black scribble lines all over formerly hot pink walls, torn up grey bed sheets, deflated pillows, a bedside rug that was once a lovely shade of baby blue now a murky lake green, and scratches, whoever was messing with this room had a no sense for care, as this room, this room was desecrated with scratches and marks.

sighing, you flopped unto the creaky mattress, the back of your knees hitting the plastic bed structure. reaching over to your achy feet, you pulled off the black heels that had been causing you anguish the whole day.

dropping your heels, you unzipped your pale pink silk dress, one of the very rare bright pieces of clothing you had left. flinging it over to the other side of the room, you tapped over to your closet, the once shiny, luxurious white structure, scribbled on and vandalised; stripped of its pride. you looked through the distressed drawer that had been left open from the mornings' rush. music flooded into the silence of your room as picked out navy blue pyjama bottoms and a tight fitted white tank top.

as if by magic (no pun intended) , your desired clothing adorned your slim body as you strolled over to your bed, plopping yourself on it and sinking into the mattress.

thoughts clouded your mind like a raging storm, keeping you a prisoner of your own mind. weird barbie said this would happen a lot more so it shouldn't have been unexpected. but it still hit you like a brick every time the thought of stereotypical barbie flooded your head. her plump lips, the crystal blue eyes that locked you in a trance at the slightest glance and her hair, oh god her hair. you just wanted to run your fingers through the golden curls. you wanted to tangle your fingers in it, you wanted to ruin it, you hated how perfect it was.

you hated her. you hated how ken adored her, how everyone was so goddamn drawn to her, it was like the town revolved around her jobless ass. you wanted her. you needed her. you needed her to need you. but you had your ken and she had hers, and that was that.

the last person who uttered a word about a barbie and a barbie or a ken and a ken was weird barbie and look how she turned out. it's not like you weren't weird yourself, with your heels dropping, thoughts about death, uncanny interests in barbie , your burnt waffles and messed up room and messed up clothes, you were borderline line outcast. you just hadn't been sent to the weird house yet.

'it's only a matter of time though'. you thought shutting your eyes. the late nights and early mornings catching up to you.

it only seemed like a few minutes before you felt the opposite side of your bed sink and a warm hand on your icy shoulder. shrieking, you leaped into an upright position, very nearly hitting your head on your heart shaped headboard.

"jesus! what the hell.." you came to an abrupt stop as you looked over to your side meeting a very dear set of eyes. "look, i'm sorry for barging in so randomly, i know you were sleeping and you're a very busy woman and-" the words mushed together in your head as you focused on her pouty lips. you would let her talk for hours on end if it meant seeing those lips move.

"it's okay." you stated, the corners of your lips turning up. "really? i mean i could leave honestly! it's no biggie..i mean if you want me stay i could?" the icy blonde rambled meeting your gaze softly. "i promise your fine." you assured her shuffling a bit, suddenly feeling very naked.

"so why are you here?" you questioned, sinking back into the comfort of your duvet. dropping your gaze, she fiddled with her velvet night gown, undoing the strings and redoing them. "..well i don't know, you looked more down than usual and you at least make it to the nail painting sessions in my room, but today you missed the whole night altogether." barbie confessed, searching your y/e/c eyes for reasons.

"i know, but-" "you promised." she stated, cutting your flimsy excuse short. "i'm sorry. i've just- i've had some things on my mind as of recent." you explained, your eyes looking at barbies' room across from yours.

“ what type of thoughts?” you raised your eyebrow at her answering her question silently. “right. too far… sorry.” she blushed, tucking her blonde hair behind her ears. an uncomfortable silence filled the room as barbie crossed her legs, moving dangerously close to you.

clearing your throat, you glanced at her figure, letting the image cloud your senses. the curve of her hips to the sharp cut of her jawline, she really was the perfect barbie.

“i have thoughts about death too.” barbie whispered. you didn’t reply so she continued “all the time actually. they’re more frequent than they used to be. i thought maybe someone felt the same way as me so i shared it during the dance party downstairs, but, they just looked at me like i was.. weird.”

your heart rate tripled as you gazed up at her. she looked so.. vulnerable. all this time you had thought you were alone in this paradise. you thought of yourself as the elephant in the room. but there was a chance that the one person you thought was perfect, was just as fucked up as you.

“i’m so sorry, i’m gonna leave now-” “stay.” you muttered connecting your eyes with hers. “what?” the blonde asked, a bewildered look on her face. “i think about death too. maybe we have more in common than we thought.” you explained, running your fingers through your y/h/c haphazardly layered hair.

grinning immediately barbie sat back down, babbling instantly. and you did what anyone would do if they were in that same situation, you stared at her with hearts in your eyes, smiling broadly.

only mattel knew how you ended up sprawled across your bed with barbie straddling your lap, braiding chunks of your hair. who knew depressive thoughts could bond two dolls like this?

“your eyes are so pretty.” you murmured gazing up into her ocean blues. blushing she retorted : “oh shut up.” , but you could tell from her scarlet cheeks and darting eyes that she appreciated the compliment.

“can i kiss you?” you blurted, not being able to hold yourself back. barbie stared at you, her eyes glistening. preparing yourself for rejection you opened your mouth only to have it shut by pillowy lips.

stars behind your eyelids, in fact a whole constellation. gliding your fingers up the small of her back, you reciprocated the kiss as she cupped your face softly. biting your bottom lip, she explored your mouth slowly. sucking on your tongue, she extracted a well deserved moan out of you.

“fuck y/n” she groaned, grinding on you. moaning desperately, you fervently moved your hands around her body as she pulled away. breathing heavily you both stared at each other lovingly. “the others will hear..” she commented, returning to fiddling with your hair. agreeing, you smirked as she looked at your lips.

“i better go then. i don’t want you tired tomorrow, busy work life and all.” the blonde remarked as she slowly stood up. “mhm” you retorted, as you let your eyes wander all over her body.

“i’ll see you tomorrow, sleep well okay?” she stated, looking over at you as she got to the door. “i will.” you grinned, snuggling into your comforter. and at that she giggled as she closed your door, the echo of her voice promising you of better days. ˗ˏˋ ꒰ 🩰 ꒱ ˎˊ˗

[unboundprompts]

Hey! I love your prompts and I was wondering if you had something for angst no comfort. Person A is depressed and very deep in the hole (physically can't recognize themselves, confusion, maybe hallucinations?) But they never tell anybody about it and they try and hide it like "oh, I binge watched a show" when asked why they look so tired. Person B is super silly and is obvious/chooses to believe them

Thank you so much!!

Angst No Comfort Prompts (ft. Oblivious Friend)

-> feel free to edit and adjust pronouns as you see fit.

"You look exhausted. You okay?" Person B’s tone is casual, light, as they glance at Person A’s hollow eyes and pale face.

Person A forces a weak smile, trying to look convincing. "Yeah, just stayed up binge-watching some show. You know how it is."

Person B laughs, shaking their head. "Classic. I knew you’d get hooked. What was it this time? Another murder mystery?"

Person A’s smile falters for a fraction of a second. "Something like that," they mutter.

Person B doesn’t notice how their hands tremble as they clutch their coffee cup, or how their eyes dart toward the shadows in the corners of the room.

"Hey, you spaced out there for a second."

Person B snaps their fingers in front of Person A’s face, jolting them back to reality. A sickly feeling of déjà vu lingers, like they’ve been drifting in and out of this same fog for days.

"Oh… sorry," Person A mumbles, rubbing their eyes. "Just… tired, I guess."

Person B grins. "Let me guess—another Netflix marathon?"

Person A forces a laugh. "Yeah, you know me."

But Person A doesn’t mention the way the world seemed to melt at the edges just moments ago, or how sometimes they aren’t sure if they’re awake or dreaming.

"Why don’t you ever want to hang out anymore?"

There’s a hint of hurt in Person B’s voice, but Person A barely hears it over the static buzzing in their head.

"I’ve just… been busy," Person A replies, swallowing the tightness in their throat. "Work's been crazy."

Person B huffs, rolling their eyes. "You’re such a workaholic. I’m coming over with takeout tomorrow. You need some fun."

Person A’s heart sinks. They can already feel the panic creeping in, the dread at the thought of having to fake normalcy for a whole evening.

"Yeah, sounds great," they lie, trying not to let their voice crack.

"Did you eat anything today?"

Person B asks casually as they rummage through the fridge. They don’t see the way Person A’s face pales at the question, don’t notice the empty bottles of water and little else on the counter.

"Oh, uh, I grabbed something earlier," Person A says, hoping it sounds convincing. "I’m not really hungry right now."

Person B nods, unfazed. "Good, because I’m starving. Want me to make you a plate anyway?"

Person A shakes their head, their stomach twisting with nausea at the thought of food. But they smile, and it’s only a little strained. "I’m good. You enjoy."

The couch cushions are lumpy from days of neglect. Person A sits in the same spot, knees drawn up to their chest, wrapped in the same blanket they’ve been using for a week. The TV is on, but the sound is low, and their gaze is fixed somewhere beyond the screen. Their phone vibrates on the coffee table, and they blink as if the sound has traveled to them from a great distance.

"You’re still watching that?"

Person B flops onto the other end of the couch, reaching for the remote. Person A forces a chuckle, dry and thin.

"Guess I got hooked."

Person B doesn’t notice the emptiness in Person A’s eyes or the way their fingers twitch restlessly against the fabric of the blanket.

The coffee cup rattles slightly as Person A sets it on the counter, their hand slipping on the smooth ceramic. The liquid sloshes over the rim, pooling on the countertop. They watch it spread slowly, their mind drifting.

"Whoa, you okay?"

Person B’s hand reaches out to steady the cup, wiping up the spill with a quick swipe of their sleeve.

"Yeah. Just… clumsy today," Person A mumbles, lips barely curving upward.

Person B grins, giving them a playful nudge. "You need more coffee, not less."

Person A manages a laugh, though it catches in their throat like a splinter.

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[duskvsdawn]

Welcome home, mon amour

Zali is a devoted, hard-working husband. While you were out there saving the world, your lovely hubby stayed home, doing all sorts of chores so you don't have to when you eventually do come home, and he takes care of your wounds. And after he takes care of your wounds, you shower him in love.

≫ A/N: @briskunt gave me the marvelous idea of house husband Zali, so here we go! I might take on some of the other ideas you mentioned at some point later. I do wanna broaden out to more "out there topics", but since my mental health hasn't been great lately, I would love to write something that brings me comfort for now. I hope that's okay with you!

CW: female reader cause reversed "socially acceptable" gender roles, Zali gets a bit depressed because he's lonely 'cause you're away so much, when you come home, covered in blood from a hard battle, he cares for your wounds, and to thank him, you shower him in lots of love after the painkillers start working. Uh, yeah this gets smutty at the end after the fluff, Zali is a super sensitive baby and super responsive to all your touches and all the lewd stuff you do to him. Reader uses a strap-on to fuck Zali senseless cause he just looks so good like that, and, again, reversed gender roles, let's go. Also, Zali wears lingerie cause fuck it, we ball. Also also, reader puts Zali in mating press because I just had to.

Art credits.

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Zali heard the front door open, and a tired sigh followed soon after. He had been busy folding laundry at the dinner table when he heard a quiet "I'm home..." It didn't sound good, so he went to go check on you. There you stood, trying to compose yourself, covered in wounds from head to toe. Zali clasped his hands in front of his mouth, and he rushed over to you.

"Mon amour, you look terrible! What happened?" your husband asked as he gently held you. "Well, I do feel terrible... And, uh... A lot, actually," you said as you winced in pain as his arms wrapped around you. Zali noticed and instantly pulled back. "Why don't you go and take a shower? I will join you soon so I can help clean you up," your husband said with a soft, worried smile as he gave you a kiss on the cheek. You nodded, and after some struggles, you managed to get up the stairs. You just sat on the bathroom floor for a bit, not sure if you would be able to do any more on your own for now. Zali had kept his hearing focused on trying to detect anything suspicious. When he still didn't hear running water when he was done folding laundry, he hurried up the stairs to check on you.

There you sat, in the exact same spot you had sat down in 15 minutes ago. "Mon trésor, what are you doing on the floor?" Zali asked you as he moved to sit down next to you and comfortingly rubbed your back. "Hurts too much..." you brought out in between choked sobs. Your husband took your hand in his and gave it a loving kiss. "I will get the painkillers, mon amour," your husband said as he got up to get said painkillers. It was a mix made especially by him that both got rid of the pain, or at least managed to dull it somewhat, and it also had calming effects on the mind, which was useful if you were overly stressed. It also usually worked for a full day, which was nice, so you wouldn't have to get jabbed in the arm multiple times a day.

Zali came back to the bathroom a little while later, bottle and syringe in hand, and with some effort, you managed to roll up your sleeve so that he could administer the painkiller. After looking for a suitable vein to poke the syringe into after taking it out of the package, he did just that, and relief washed over you almost immediately. He sat next to you for a little while longer after getting rid of the syringe, waiting for it to kick in properly as he rubbed your back softly, trying his best to avoid the spots that gave you a pained expression. After a little while, you gave him a nod, and he helped you get up and get undressed. Zali undressed himself as well and guided you into the shower after the water felt like a mix between lukewarm and warm since he didn't want the hot water to hurt you.

While the two of you stood in the shower, you let the water wash off some of the dirt and blood first. Zali looked through the shower cabin glass walls, staring at the bloody and dirty suit. He shook his head, and he could only imagine what you had gone through today. He asked you what had happened, and you started reciting today's events about how much you, Vanta and Wilson struggled to take down the monsters roaming the next city over. You told Zali that you had gotten unlucky and the monster got some good hits in, but that Wilson and Vanta didn't look as hurt as you, so he didn't have to worry about them. Zali grabbed a soft sponge and started to gently wipe the dirt out of the wounds. After he did so, he washed your hair and lathered your body in soap to clean you up. After he had cleaned you, he did the same to himself as you just stood under the water for a little longer, kind of zoning out a bit.

"Mon chéri, how is the pain right now? does it feel better?" your husband asked you as he wrapped his arms around you from behind, leaving a kiss on your shoulder blade. "Yeah, it does feel a lot better now. Thank you," you said with a smile as you turned around in his arms to leave a loving kiss on his lips. Zali's hands found your hair, and he let it run through his fingers as he made out with you for a little while, getting hornier with each passing minute. You could feel his hard-on against your stomach, and when you pointed it out, he got embarrassed. You just chuckled in response as the two of you got ready to get out of the shower.

You were drying yourselves off, and after you were done, Zali told you to wait in the bathroom for a little bit and that he would tell you when you could come over. You had no idea what he had up his sleeves, but you patiently sat down on the toilet, waiting for his signal. After a little bit he called you over, and you walked over to the bedroom. Zali lay on the bed, in royal blue lingerie. A blush spread across your cheeks as you slowly walked over to him to lie down next to him.

"Is this new? I haven't seen this before..." you said as you let your hand run over the fabric covering his chest. It felt silky smooth, and it had beautiful pink lace attached to it. "Yes, mon chéri, it's new. Do you like it?" your husband said with a shaky breath as your finger flicked his nipple through the fabric. "Mmm, looks really good on you," you said as you let your hand wander lower, touching the fabric of the panties that was just as smooth. "How come you wanted to wear this tonight?" you asked as you left a few heated kisses on his neck as you pulled him closer. "You've barely been home lately. I know you've been hard at work, but it's been getting lonely. And seeing you in so much pain, I wanted to cheer you up a bit. I missed you so, so much... Je t'aime, reader, and I want to do anything to make you happy. Anything." Zali said as he was close to tears. The loneliness had really been eating away at him, and you really felt bad about it. "Je t'aime aussi, my lovely hubby. And I am sorry I have been away so much lately. Shall I make it up to you tonight?" you said with a suggestive smirk, and Zali's blush deepened because of that comment. "I would like that..." your husband whispered as he hid his face in your neck.

You left a kiss at the top of his head, and then you got up to walk to your favourite cabinet in the bedroom. It held lingerie and all sorts of toys. You took your preferred strap-on out of said cabinet and walked over to the nightstand to grab some lube out of the drawer. Your husband blushed one shade darker when he saw what you were planning on doing. You got back on the bed and put the strap-on on yourself after pushing the dildo attached on the inside into you, covering the one on the outside in lube. Zali licked his lips when he saw the pleasured expression on your face as you pushed the dildo into yourself, and he had gotten a little bit impatient. He wanted to feel that thing inside of him so badly. He wanted to be absolutely ruined by you and be showered in kisses and hickeys. Luckily for him, he didn't have to wait long.

"Time to fold you in half like a croissant," you said with a chuckle as you pushed his legs towards his chest. He felt so exposed like this, but it turned him on that much more. You moved the lingerie out of the way, not wanting to take it off because it looked too pretty on him. "Please, mon amour... I need you. I need to feel you," your husband whimpered as one of your fingers circled his rim, and then you slowly pushed it in. After you had moved it in and out for a bit, you added a second finger and then a third. You wanted to prep him properly because that dildo was big. You knew he loved having it inside of him, but you wanted to make it as painless as possible. His impatience showed once more when he let out a desperate whimper, and you decided to give him what he wanted.

You pushed in the tip, and as you slowly pushed in the rest of it you leaned over him, wrapping one arm around him as the other held his hand that was lying next to his head, essentially trapping him underneath you. When your husband left a kiss on your lips, you took it as a signal to start moving, so that's what you did. You started with some shallow thrusts at first until Zali moaned, "More... More... S'il vous plaît, give me more," as he left continuous hungry kisses on your lips. You moved your face towards his neck to start biting it and leaving lots of hickeys there as you picked up the pace, your hand still holding his tightly. Zali moaned louder at that, feeling like he was in heaven, enjoying everything you were giving him. He loved you so much, and having sex with you always managed to solidify those feelings even more for him. As Zali's mind wandered to the thoughts about how much he really loved you, tears started pricking at his eyes. You noticed, and gently licked a tear away that was rolling down his face. "Je t'aime... Je t'aime..." your husband just kept whispering as a mantra, getting lost in pleasure. Zali started trembling, and you could tell he was getting close because of it.

"Come for me, handsome. I know you want to. Let go, mon amour," you whispered into his ear after you licked it and nibbled on his earlobe. You started moaning louder yourself, when that pleasure the dildo inside of you was giving you, was getting too much for you, on top of seeing your husband so fucked out like this. His nails clawed at your back, pulling you ever closer as he hid his face into your neck. Your husband moaned your name like a whore as he released, and it was the most beautiful moan you've ever heard out of his mouth. His cum felt warm and sticky between the two of you, and it felt so delicious to you. Seeing Zali cum so hard, pushed you over the edge as well, soiling the dildo inside of you. You fell on top of your husband, catching your breath as he did the same.

But it seems you underestimated just how much your husband had missed you. His dick was still hard and he whispered into your ear: "Mon trésor... I need more. Please. I need more of you." your husband said as he left hungry kisses across your neck, and who were you to deny him? So you fucked him more, and more, and then some. You had fucked him for hours, your stamina never relenting since you were really fit thanks to your occupation after all. You fucked him so much that by the end of the night he was a trembling, crying mess. You were covered in his cum, your neck was covered in hickeys and bites, and so was his, and your back was covered in deep scratches from his nails. You had fucked him absolutely dumb and mute, since by the end his eyes just kept rolling back, and drool kept trickling out of his mouth as one more orgasm washed over him, and he pretty much passed out. You pulled out of him, taking off the strap-on and letting it thud on the ground next to the bed. Your husband had gone absolutely silent on you and you wondered if he was alright.

"Are you okay, darling? How are you feeling?" you asked Zali as you left a loving kiss on his temple after you wrapped your arms around him. In that moment, he looked like a mix between fucked out and in absolute bliss, but at the same time so vulnerable and exhausted to the core. He responded, barely above a whisper. "Incroyable... Thank you, mon amour."

Zali knew these sheets would need washing your sure, the blood from one of the wounds of your knee had gotten onto it and so had his release, and yours. But he couldn't possibly remove those sheets now, there was no way he could even get up now. That would have to be a worry for future him. A smile appeared on his face when you left a kiss on top of his nose, whispering to him, "sleep well, my handsome, perfect husband. Je t'aime."

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Hey so... I've been having some trouble with my younger sister, and I could use some advice. Basically, she's been kinda... inconsiderate lately. Meaning, she doesn't really clean up after herself, pretty much ever. It's my mom, me (20), my sister (17), and our four younger siblings who range from 6-14. My mom only recently got divorced from my abusive dad, and is trying really hard as a single mom to 6 kids right now, since she struggles with ptsd, depression, and being physically disabled on top of everything.

And my sister, just... I don't know. I really don't want to put it harshly but she's just been really inconsiderate. She cooks meals for herself (which is obviously fine) but she almost always leaves a massive mess behind that she doesn't clean up, in a household with *four* young teens/children. And not in a "she didnt wash all the dishes she used", in a "doesnt throw away wrappers and doesnt bring dirty dishes to the sink, and leaves spilled food on the counter" way. Among similar instances/issues.

Both my mom and I have tried talking to her about this- I know she struggles a ton with depression and trauma from my dad among other things. She told me that she's just making space for herself, that she *has* to only focus on herself because she's so busy and tired all the time and she's barely keeping her head above water, so she just doesn't have energy to clean. And I *get* it. I'm not dismissing those things at all, I know it can be a bitch to have to clean when you're going through shit. I tried giving her some advice (being: asses your energy before cooking something, and if you won't have enough energy after cooking to clean, find something that makes less of a mess/no mess and compromise) but she really took offense to it.

Idk, I know she's a good kid. I've *seen* how amazing and talented and kind she is. But this issue has just been building and my mom and I have been super lenient with her, only giving gentle reminders amd lowkey walking on eggshells around her, but I keep wondering where the line crosses from "focusing on myself" to just disregarding the people you live with entirely.

I guess the main point I'm getting at is: I'm super sympathetic to her situation, so I don't want to blame her or get mad at her, but I also can't ignore how frustrating it can get having to clean up very large messes made by a near-adult when *everyone* is struggling, and the behaviour has not been changing despite several gentle conversations.

You and your mom need to sit her down and have a serious talk about how she's not the only one who is mentally ill and disabled, and that her messing up the kitchen to cook only for herself and then expecting you to clean up isn't sustainable. Not because you don't believe that she struggles to do it, but because everyone in the household does. Meaning that there has to be some degree of mindfulness in how big a mess you leave if you can't clean it.

[nyxtickled]

sleep diary #1

you can absolutely ignore this series but i’ve decided to combine business and pleasure since i have no problem remembering to be horny on main but i have every problem remembering to record my flare ups and sleep problems so i can actually have an accurate measurement of my symptoms once i finally see a rheumatologist

ok so! i’m just going to see if i can remember to do my sleep diaries if i incorporate them into my kink blog lmfao. if you wanna filter them out just block my #nyx.sleep tag, OR if you’re chronically ill and you feel seen or curious about the shit i write, feel free to jump into the replies and scream with me!

sunday night - fell asleep around 3am? woke up around 11am. covered in sweat from head to toe. body pillow was soaked through and cold from sweat. tank top was cold and wet, sticking to me. waking up like this is not uncommon, probably 2-3x a week on average, so it’s probably not related to having a virus. the most notable thing from today was that the tip of my middle finger was completely numb. this is the same finger that has had a weird knuckle for a while now, looks like the tendon is slipping off the side- but the fingertip has never been numb before. took about 10 mins to get feeling back into it. also had excruciating neck pain on the same side (right), from neck to shoulder and back, strangely no pain really in my forearm or bicep but then pain again in my hand and knuckle.

pics of weird knuckle tendon thing, super swollen, no idea why. def wanna show the rheumatologist, doesn’t always look like this but looks like this a lot.

gf threw me into a hot shower because i woke up shivering and freezing, body temp highly dysregulated, just had to sit in the shower chair and literally melt in a sauna for like 20 minutes. immediately had to take tylenol after waking up as well for the neck and hand pain. also 20 mins post-shower, i still have a headache that feels stabby every time i cough, but that could just be related to the cold/flu thing i have. currently i’m just feeling very out of it, dizzy/lightheaded, exhausted, definitely feel more tired than i did before i slept for 8 hours. it is a defeating sensation but very common for me. probably contributes to depression.

[carmen-is-away]

angsty elliott headcanons.

content warnings: self harm, toxic relationships, mental illness, violence?, mentions of abuse

He gets attached very quickly to people he’s interested in romantically and will ignore red flags and/or try extremely hard to make them fit them into the idealized narrative he’s created of them in his head

He tends to isolate himself from others once he’s in a romantic relationship and hardly ever spends time with people besides his partner

He worships his partner, I’m talking devoting his whole life to making them happy and ignoring his own wants most times

Loves his partner wholeheartedly and is willing to do almost anything for them, even if they’re not always the best to him

He very desperately wants to be loved

He begrudgingly disowned his parents, they were terrible towards him and never supported him along with being horribly neglectful and abusive albeit having more than enough time and money to do so

He gets violently angry and destructive when his writer’s block is at its peak.

I’m talking throwing his journal across the room and shoving everything off of his desk. He’s pulling his hair and yelling and destroying his surroundings and probably hurting himself

He makes sure to not let his partner or anyone see this though. He hates when people worry about him.

It’s usually followed up by a long and sob and horrible depression episode that lasts somewhere from a few weeks to months.

What can I say? He feels his work very strongly

That also goes for the opposite

He’s running to read you his latest poem because he’s fallen in love with it and he expects you to as well

He may have even brought himself to tears

He will be all over you and ready to jump over the moon if you love it as much as he does

If you aren’t as tender as enthused as he hopes you’ll be or you judge his work harshly with less than constructive criticism, it will be a large blow to his ego and it will break his heart a little

He will understand if you’re busy or tired or not able to put your full focus on it, but if you can and you aren’t, or you're being an asshole, he’s super hurt and he may not always admit or display that in front of you

He craves validation, please give it to him, he might actually go insane without it

He also needs affection. He’s very insecure and will begin to wonder if you’re not attracted to him if you haven’t been affectionate with him in a while. He’s been quite touch starved for a long time

Elliott’s a very broken man and he requires a lot of patience and attention

He needs security and stability and someone who won’t take advantage of him

Please give him the space to make decisions and be accepting of him and give him your attention

Despite his terrible mental health, he’s a wonderful partner and father. Even when he’s doing terribly, he’s all ears and open arms for his family

[thedeviltohisangel]

FOR A FORTNIGHT THERE WE WERE

A little something about Evelyn and Callum at the screening in LA last weekend xoxo

“Do you want to go to the Dodgers game tomorrow night?” Ev had been daydreaming out the window of the Escalade currently taking them to a screening and reception of Masters of the Air.

“Sure that’d be fun.” He held her hand in between them and brought it to his lips.

“You feeling ok? You’ve been quiet the whole ride.”

“Just preemptively tired. I have to fly to New York Monday morning for the premiere.” More and more recently she had just wanted to cocoon herself in blankets at their home, wherever that may be, and never leave. She hoped it wasn’t another bout of depression rearing its ugly head. “I’ve just been feeling a little different lately. Like I’m back in the same headspace I was before we started filming. I don’t know. I can’t explain it.” While he hadn’t known her well before Masters of the Air, he had only met her a few times at parties, he had known she was not herself that first day of their chemistry read.

“You’ve been super fucking busy between press for dragon and press for this and the fact that you insist you can try to be in New York and Scotland in the same day-“ that got a smile across her face “-maybe your body is just telling you it needs to rest a little bit.”

“You forgot that I’m the best girlfriend ever and have been flying to Vancouver every chance to see you,” she teased. “Please add that to your list.” Callum laughed and threw his arm around her should to pull her in close.

“I love you. Wouldn’t want you any other way but want you to take care of yourself. If you need a break, you need a break.” But breaks meant silence and Evelyn had never really been good in the silence.

“Having you back in LA this weekend is kind of like a break.” They’d spent the day lounging in bed before walking Golo to a farmers market, buying flowers and bagels and plants for the herb garden Evelyn had started tending to in their back yard. No one had stopped them for selfies and if people were taking photos, she hadn’t bothered to notice. It had felt good and normal to hold his hand and live her life if only for a few hours.

“You made me pinky promise to still spend every weekend with you while filming!” She giggled as the car pulled up to the curb to drop them off, her publicist, assistant and representatives from the Apple PR department waiting to greet them.

“I did and so far that’s meant me going to Canada and not the other way around. So technically I only encumbered myself with that one.” The longer they were together, the more horrible being apart felt. They were both committed to not letting distance get the best of them during the busiest year of their life. Every weekend one of them was on a plane to go be with the other. They were two halves of the same whole and wouldn’t survive if kept apart. “Hi Tracy,” she greeted as Callum held her hand to help her out of the car.

“Hi you two.” Evelyn wrapped her in a hug and then gripped his hand tightly as he led them in the direction of the party. She made sure to wave to fans that had collected on the sidewalk and posed for some photos from afar as they held their phones up. “Let’s make sure you get an individual shot with all the other actors here for from the other shows and then we can do all the cast group shots at once, okay?” Ev nodded as she took a welcome drink and smiled, a line of people already forming to talk to her and try and snap a selfie for their social media. She greeted all of them with a practiced ease that had them feeling like they were the only person in the world with her for those few moments. It was a skill that she had honed early in her career and had fared her very well.

“I got to go check on that handsome lad over there but I’ll find you after!” She kissed Maya Rudolph’s cheeks and did her best to not get pulled aside too many times on her way to Callum.

“Must be hard to be so popular,” Gary teased as Ev hugged him tightly.

“Can’t take you anywhere,” Cal mumbled as he leaned down to kiss her. She smiled against his lips and used her hand on his neck to keep him there for an extra peck.

“I can’t hide when I’ve got a bean stalk following me around so I might as well embrace the attention.” Gary laughed, her arms wrapping around Callum’s waist and cheek resting on his chest.

“You two are so good together. I take all the credit.” Gary had been there when they’d met at the chemistry. Had watched the infatuation only increase from that moment forward. Not so subtlety, Evelyn noticed his eyes flicker to her bare ring finger and deflate a little. “I’m going to go make sure everything’s set in the theater. I’ll see you both in there.” She kissed his cheek in farewell and Cal offered him a one handed hug.

“You good? Need another drink?” Evelyn shook her head and rested her chin on her chest so she could look up at him.

“I love you. Just happy to be here with you. Happy that we can keep celebrating this show that brought us together.” He dropped a kiss to her nose.

“I love you even more, how about that?” It earned him a giggle as she turned to remove herself from his embrace, Callum kissing the top of her head as she sighed.

“I’ve got a few more people to get photos with before Tracy yells at me. I’ll find you before the cast photos.”

“Love you, baby.” An arm around her shoulders pulled her back into his orbit so he could kiss her again.

“Love you, Cali Wali.” He blushed at the little nickname she normally saved for the privacy of one of their homes. “Handsome when you blush.”

“Good thing you think so cause I seem to do it a lot around you.” She almost let it slip that she hoped their future kids inherited his propensity for handsome blushing. But she bit her tongue just in time. Since their pregnancy scare a couple weeks ago, Evelyn hadn’t been able to stop thinking about a baby. Like the moment in time where it might have been true had opened a door inside of her. There was still no strong desire in her bones to get married again but now there was one to become a mother. To share in that honor with the man in front of her. “Where’d you go, Ev?” He furrowed his brows and brushed some hair from her cheek.

“Sorry. Just thinking for a minute. I’ll see you in a little bit.” With a final kiss to his cheek, she was off before he could reel her back in. She didn’t know how to broach the conversation. Didn’t know how he’d react to her rejection of his attempts at proposing but her desire to have a child. Would he feel confused? Betrayed? Like he couldn’t have what he wanted but was expected to give her what she wanted? Her hand shook as she made her way towards Karen and Josiah with a smile. The more distractions, the better.

-

Anthony gave her the loudest kiss on the cheek she had ever received and Evelyn giggled at the tickling sensation.

“Missed you, pretty girl,” he smiled as she hugged him and the cameras snapped endlessly.

“Anto, what the fuck is on your face?” she teased as she poked the facial hair.

“Swoon all you want.”

“Bel and I show up looking like ladies, Cal and Nate even shaved for this and you brought that.” Cal rested his arm around her shoulders and her hand reached up to twine their fingers together.

“You loved the mustache when Cal had it!”

“Not a great argument,” Bel cautioned.

“Okay let’s gather round and smile at the camera.” They all set their laughing aside to smile professionally, Evelyn not allowing Callum to move his hand, her arm around his waist where she stood on the end. Fully in his embrace exactly where she liked to be.

“Everyone make sure you come to the screening. Evelyn will be giving a speech!” Anthony announced to laughs from the crowd and a loving roll of Evelyn’s eyes.

“I’ll give one to spare you the pain, baby,” Callum offered.

“I’m claiming the Emmy speech, Anthony. And you won’t be mentioned if you keep up this behavior.” Anthony stuck his tongue out as she chased after him towards the theater. Everyone laughing at their sibling banter the entire way.

“Don’t let that one go.” Callum looked over at Gary.

“I’m trying my best,” he joked back. “Doesn’t get any better than her. Than this.”

He caught her gaze over her shoulder as she looked to make sure he was coming up behind her. Yeah. This. This was once in a lifetime.

[bella-rose29]

Idiot ~ Anthony Lockwood x f!reader

Requested by anon:

Hii I want to request Anthony Lockwood×fem!reader, with childhood bestfriends to rivals to lovers with the miscommunication trope, but also a happy ending with both of them being together. So the plot could be like, they were childhood best friends but then when Anthony's family died he later wanted to start the business, but she thought that he was out of his mind because she was scared about him being in danger, but he thought she just didn't think he can handle it so they got into an argument and she left. After that, they started hating each, later she joined Fittes as an agent, so he was even more angry. So they became rivals in the ghost hunting business. Then they got put on a mission later, and idk she gets injured and his like "who did this to you," but they're still enemies, even though the whole time there is sexual tension between them. This request is super chaotic, so just make your own plot with these elements, I guess. I'm not good at describing plots, I will be happy with whatever you write, but please let them have a happy ending and be together. Also, could you try to make this as long as you can because there aren't as many Lockwood fics as there should be.

I might have changed some bits a lil bit and probably spent way too long talking about their childhood, but hopefully this lives up to your expectations anon! (Please let me know if it doesn't though)

Word count: 9.5k exactly (holy shit this is insane i had way too much fun with this)

Warnings: swearing, violence, fighting, descriptions of injury, mentions and descriptions of Lockwood's family dying/being dead, major spoilers for the books (and the show), some stuff probably doesn't make sense (like at all), i might also have misremembered and made up some things but we'll go with it, Lockwood is actually kind of a dick for some of this oops, he gets better i promise, hospitals, mentions of being on morphine (for the pain), references to Lockwood being depressed, they're idiots in love.

Tag list: @anathemaloren, @augustisintheair, @avdiobliss, @dangelnleif, @el-de-phi, @karensirkobabes, @mitskiswift99, @mrsklockwood, @mrsyixingunicorn10, @ran23sblog, @superpositvecloudshipper, @t2sh0, @taygrls, @tournesol77, @wandamaximoffbae, @wordsarelife

As always, let me know here if you'd like to be added or removed from the tag list!

It was nearly 3am and Y/n L/n had had enough.

She was exhausted, weary, worn out, and pretty much any other synonym for the word 'tired', and she just wanted to go to bed, but Anthony Lockwood had other ideas.

"Give it here, come on!"

Y/n groaned, then half-heartedly chucked the bits of paper at her best friend from where she was lying on the floor of his living room. Jessica laughed, despite also losing to the 5 year old boy at Monopoly, and shook her head at his greedy smile as he counted the money. How he had ever managed to get the two of them to agree to play with him, Y/n didn't know, especially since she'd not really been paying attention when the rules were explained. But then she saw how happy he was at the idea of playing with the two girls, and Y/n knew she could never make her best friend sad.

She did really want to go to bed though.

Jessica Lockwood appeared to notice Y/n's droopy eyes, and quietly spoke to her brother, stifling a laugh at his pout when she told him they should probably stop.

"But we aren't done yet!"

"I know, Anthony, but you've definitely got the most money, I'm sure of it. You're going to win no matter what, so I think we should let Y/n/n go to sleep, yeah?"

"Oh..." he'd noticed his friend's demeanour now, and felt immediately bad for making her stay awake. "Alright then. Y/n/n?"

"Mmm?"

"You ready to go to bed? 'Cause Jess says I won, so I reckon we can go up now."

"Mkay," she murmured, too sleepy to answer in proper words. Going up to bed was a haze, and she only really woke up when she stubbed her toe at the bottom of the stairs (Anthony hadn't told her that was there, despite saying he'd guide her). She was sure she brushed her teeth, Jessica would have checked, and they were all already in their pyjamas, but the only other thing she remembered before dropping off completely was seeing Anthony's face on the pillow next to her, already snoring lightly.

~~~

Y/n couldn't remember most of Anthony's sixth birthday now, what with all the memories that came in between, but she did remember his joy at receiving her present.

He'd spent the majority of the morning since Y/n and her family went next door gloating about how he was finally six, and now he was old enough to do so much more than Y/n (who was still five). She'd rolled her eyes, laughing when he did victory dances all around the house, and laughing even harder when he fell over while doing one of the previously mentioned dances.

They'd run away and hidden in his room in the attic after collecting plates of cake, and Y/n made sure to pick up her carefully wrapped present on the way up. He'd noticed immediately that she was carrying it, of course, he was far too observant to miss it, and had demanded that she let him open it right then and there. Initially she'd refused, feeling shy and worried that he wouldn't like it, but he'd given her one of his secret smiles, one of the ones reserved specifically for her, and said "Please?" so sweetly she caved.

He placed the cake to the side, then spent a good minute unwrapping the gift, being oh so gentle with the paper in fear of breaking it. When he saw the item inside, his smile burst out, bright and blinding, and Y/n felt her own smile form on her face, pleased at his reaction.

"Do you like it?" Nerves were still coursing through her, but they left her body when he raised his head and met her eyes.

"I love it, Y/n/n," he whispered, lifting the picture frame all the way out of the wrapping. She'd convinced her parents to print the photo off, and then spent hours making a frame that would fit it perfectly, complete with lolly sticks and stickers, trying to make the best gift for the best friend she'd ever had.

The photo was the two of them the previous Christmas, bundled up in ridiculous festive jumpers and sat in front of the Lockwood family tree in the hallway, presents surrounding them. Their parents had insisted on a photo before they ruined the area with rubbish everywhere, and the two of them could barely contain their excitement. There was a slight blur to them, a testament to their energy, but their smiles were so wide and they were hugging so tightly Y/n knew it was the perfect photo to give him.

"Where did you even get this? I thought your mum hid the camera?"

Y/n giggled at his comically wide eyes. "I just asked her, silly. I did have to do some chores but I didn't mind, it was worth it."

She barely had time to move her plate of cake out of the way (she hadn't eaten any in the last few minutes, far too focused on Anthony's reaction) when he surged forward, bringing his arms around her in a crushing hug.

"Thank you," he said, although it was muffled since his head was pressed into her shoulder.

"Anything for you, Ant, anytime."

They stayed there for a while, just hugging on his bed and revelling in each others' presence, both knowing that Y/n had meant her words.

~~~

When Anthony had to fight his parents' ghosts, Y/n had cried.

He was crying too, since he'd seen them die less than a day ago and now he had to keep them dead, but seeing her best friend in so much pain had made Y/n cry harder.

Anthony was trying to push back the tears so that he could see, so that he could fight, and Y/n hated that he was doing this on his own.

She had been kept in her room by her parents, the adults being too scared for their daughter's safety to let her go and help Anthony, and she was watching him through her bedroom window. Despite the tears streaming down her face and the sobs racking her body, she could tell he was crying (or trying not to) because of the way he was hunched into himself, as if by making himself smaller he could make everything stop. His body was shaking too, heaving with silent cries as he fought off the two ghosts in front of him. Why they were in his back garden, Y/n wasn't sure, since they'd died on the road in an explosion a few minutes drive away, but she was only six, and didn't understand much anyway.

She wasn't sure how long she sat there, perched on the window seat with her gaze fixed on the boy next door, but she knew that it was far past her bedtime when he finally stopped them, and she woke up with her face stuck to the window, tear stains on her cheeks.

Realising it was light again, Y/n hurried to get dressed, tearing down the stairs and into the house next to them, knocking rapidly on the front door. It swung open a few moments later, revealing Jessica, who smiled sadly at the small girl in front of her and waved Y/n in.

"He's in his room," she said quietly, voice raw from crying.

Y/n nearly tripped countless times climbing the many stairs, and by the time she'd made it to the attic she was out of breath. Pushing his door open, and going up the last few steps (seriously, why were there so many steps?) she froze at the top when she saw him curled up under his bedsheets, shaking with near-silent cries.

"Anthony?"

She heard him sniff, the sound gross and snotty, and then he turned his body around to face her, and Y/n felt her heart break in her chest.

He clearly hadn't slept all night, eyes red from crying and lack of sleep, and he was struggling to keep back the fresh tears that threatened to break through.

"Oh, Ant."

Y/n rushed to the bed, climbing to sit next to him and pulling his head into her lap, brushing her fingers through his hair.

They sat like that for hours, long after Jessica brought up some toast for the two of them, and even when Y/n's back hurt from the headboard and her legs were numb from having his weight on them, she didn't stop stroking his hair, soothing him silently.

When he finally sat up, wiping his eyes and blowing his nose (Y/n made a mental note to put her clothes in the wash as soon as she got back home), she pulled him back in for a hug, both of them sat up this time.

"Thank you, Y/n/n."

She remembered the last time they'd done this, hugged on his bed while he thanked her, but this time it wasn't happy.

"Anything, Ant. Anytime."

~~~

"Ant, don't be stupid!" Y/n giggled, watching him climb the tree.

"I'm gonna get you an apple," he shouted, smiling down at her. "You're gonna love it, I promise!"

He'd just been reaching out for one, bright red and shining, when they'd heard a crash from inside his house, followed by a scream. They'd frozen where they stood, Y/n on the ground and Anthony in the tree, and then suddenly they snapped into action, scrambling to get inside and find Jessica.

They tore up the stairs (somehow Anthony had caught up to her, despite having been up the tree), and he pushed open her bedroom door just in time to see the ghost.

"NO!"

He moved before Y/n did, grabbing a spare rapier from the dresser and moving to fight, hoping to save his sister.

Y/n moved, but backwards, taking a step back out onto the landing, her hand on her mouth.

"Anthony."

He had pushed the ghost back, and was picking up a net.

"Anthony."

He had thrown the net over the broken pot, wrapping it up securely.

"Anthony," she said, eyes fixed on the bed.

"What?" His eyes were wide with terror as he turned to look at her, evidently scared that she was in danger, but when he followed her finger that pointed to the bed, he choked.

"No," he croaked hoarsely, and Y/n felt terrible for making him realise. "Jessica? Jessica please wake up. Jessica. Jessica, this isn't funny. Jessica, please. Jessica."

He kept on like that, repeating her name and asking her to wake up, but Y/n knew that she wouldn't. She moved again then, over to where he stood, rapier hanging limply in his hand. It had only been three years ago he'd lost his parents, why did he have to lose someone else that he loved? Pulling him into her, she let him sob into her shoulder (difficult, given his growth spurt).

Y/n knew at that point that she wouldn't ever leave him.

~~~

"You what?!"

"I'm starting training," Anthony replied, not looking up from where he stood at the kitchen counter, buttering toast.

"But... but why?"

"Because," he shrugged. When he didn't expand on it, Y/n sighed.

She was worried about him.

He'd been vacant, hollow, since Jessica's death, and although he tried to smile and make everybody think that he was doing just fine, Y/n knew her best friend better than that. She saw the bags under his eyes, the lack of joy and mischief that used to reside in his gaze.

"Because what, Anthony?"

"Look, I'll be fine. This guy called Nigel is gonna train me, and then I'll be an agent, and I can keep you safe."

"I can keep myself safe, idiot," Y/n huffed indignantly, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair.

"I know, I just want to be extra sure that you'll be okay. And everyone else."

"We're nine, Anthony. You went to a funeral a week ago and already you're talking to agents?"

"Yes. I'd like it if you came with me, obviously, but if you don't that's fine too. I'm doing this anyway, with or without you."

That hurt.

They always did everything together, so why was he talking like this?

"Fine. I'll talk to my parents. You need protecting too, dummy."

She'd broached the subject that night at dinner, expecting them to say no.

"Are you sure you want to do this, darling?"

"Yep," she said, stabbing some peas with her fork.

Her parents shared a look.

"Alright. Just promise us you'll be careful, and you'll pay attention in your training, yeah?"

Surprise made Y/n jolt, sending peas skidding across the table. "I can go?"

"Yes, but you have to promise us-"

"I promise!" Her parents chuckled, shaking their heads in a way that reminded Y/n of Monopoly and a late night.

~~~

Training was horrible.

Everybody was mean to her, just because she couldn't run as fast as the others, or move as quickly with a rapier.

"Look at her, she's gonna die within minutes!"

"Nah, she'll never make it that long. On the plus side, if she's in our group we only have to run faster than her!"

"Won't be too difficult!"

Y/n scowled at the whispers, making her way over to Anthony. She huffed, plopping down on the bench next to him and glaring at the girls.

"What's up with you?"

"They're being mean about me. Saying I'll be useless in the field."

"Aw, Y/n/n, they're stupid if they think that. You'll be amazing, I'm sure." He nudged her shoulder with his, smile working its way onto his face. Y/n couldn't help but smile back; his was too infectious. "You'll prove them wrong, I'm sure of it."

After that day, Y/n worked ten times as hard on the practical elements, a new intensity coming into her training with the other agents. She sparred against Anthony when they got home, blunt rapiers clashing in her back garden while her parents cooked dinner.

Within a month, she could beat pretty much everyone she trained with, the only exception being Anthony. He'd shown a skill with the rapier from the very beginning, and his long body made him graceful in a fight. She'd nearly beaten him a few times, but then he'd had a fire light in his eyes and he'd push her back, focus deadly as he forgot everything but the fight. She grew scared in those moments, and had stopped trying to beat him, afraid that he'd forget who she was and hurt her.

~~~

When they were fourteen, Y/n broke her promise and walked out on Anthony Lockwood.

He'd started a business, his own goddamn agency, in his own goddamn house, and he'd wanted her to work with him. She barely recognised the boy that stood in front of her the day he asked her; he was a shell of the best friend she used to have. He was vacant still, and she just wanted Anthony Lockwood back.

"Please? It'll be so much better if we're working together! You can come and live here, and your parents are still next door so you're not too far away, and we'll go on cases together, and it'll be great!"

Y/n had shaken her head, fear creeping up her spine. He'd grown a death wish recently, and although he vehemently denied it, she'd seen how he didn't seem to care about his personal safety when on cases led by the trainers.

"Anthony, you can't do this, please. You're gonna get hurt," she pleaded, hoping he'd come to his senses. If he wasn't so broken, she'd say yes, gladly, and work with him as they had always planned they would. But he was broken, and this job could destroy him.

"What, do you think I can't do it?" His brow furrowed in confusion, and Y/n could practically feel his guard start to go up.

He'd never done that with her before.

"It's not that, I just don't want you getting hurt. You're my best friend, Ant, and I don't wanna lose you."

"You won't lose me," he'd raised his voice slightly, pushing off of the kitchen counter as he got defensive. "You've seen me," he swept an arm out, referencing the training missions. "I'm the best agent they've got, and we both know it. I won't get hurt. I'm too good for that."

Y/n scoffed. "Do you hear yourself, Anthony? Do you realise how arrogant you sound? Because that's gonna get you killed." She'd raised her voice too, to match his, and she jabbed a finger into his chest.

"Arrogant? You think I'm arrogant? I thought we were 'best friends'?"

"Why did you say it like that?"

"What?"

"'Best friends', like we're not. You did little finger quotes like it was sarcastic."

"You always do this! Make something out of nothing!"

"What?" Her eyes narrowed. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"You tell me! You're the one saying I'm gonna get killed when I'm the most skilled agent we know! Why can't you just trust me?!"

"Because you will, Anthony! You will get yourself killed, and I can't let that happen! You can't start a company, just join Fittes, or Rotwell!"

"Fittes? Rotwell? I'd rather eat my own foot than join one of them! You just think I'm not capable of any of this, don't you? You think, that because my family is dead, I can't do this, because I should be grieving instead. Well I have grieved, and if you don't want to stay, then you can leave. I don't want you here if you're gonna keep being like this. Come back when you've sorted your attitude out." He turned his back, busying himself with making a cup of tea.

Y/n stared at him, mouth open in shock and tears threatening to fall.

"Prick. You're the one that needs to sort your attitude, not me."

She left then, grabbing her bag from the chair and scribbling a 'fuck you, Lockwood' onto the paper cloth on the table.

~~~

A year later, Y/n was working a job, and was actually somewhat happy.

She'd joined Fittes after her argument with Lockwood (she stubbornly refused to call him 'Anthony' until he'd apologised to her), and had been put in Quill Kipps' team. He was nice enough, arrogant and conceited at times, but Y/n put that down to his failing Senses and the stress of being team leader, since he was alright the rest of the time. He was more like an overworked teacher on a school trip with a bunch of primary school kids, and the bags under his eyes really added to the image.

It was a minor threat, Type One ghost that was giving an old lady the creeps, but they'd been waylaid on their way back to Fittes by a group of ghosts in the park, and two figures struggling to fight them all. There had to have been around twenty to thirty ghosts (all Type Ones, but they were angry), and when Kipps wondered aloud who would be so daft as to take them on, Y/n sighed, knowing exactly who would do it.

The Fittes team had jumped in, using the remainder of their flares and energy to help, and Y/n found the source, securing it quickly and efficiently. Mass graves were never fun, and this one wasn't much better. Spreading the silver net over the area, Y/n stood, careful not to jostle it.

"We don't need Fittes coming in, thanks, we were perfectly fine on our own."

"Sure," Kipps snorted. "Because being completely surrounded by ghosts and nearly dying is being perfectly fine. Give it a rest, Tony. Go back to your house and leave the agent work to the professionals, yeah?" Y/n rolled her eyes as she got closer, but she couldn't help but agree with what her leader was saying.

Anthony Lockwood looked terrible.

She had no idea who the other boy was (although he did look vaguely familiar), but he at least didn't look like he was on death's door.

"Y/n?"

She raised her eyebrows (she still couldn't figure out how to raise just the one, despite practicing for hours).

"Lockwood."

He flinched, almost imperceptibly, but she knew him too well to miss it. Nobody else noticed.

"Why are you... Are you working for Fittes?"

"Yes." He wasn't getting more out of her, not until he apologised. Kipps was looking between the two of them, as was the other boy with Lockwood, both clearly confused.

"How do you know each other?" Kipps asked.

"We were-"

"We were neighbours. Didn't talk much outside of that." Her tone was bland, and her face nonchalant, and she turned to leave. "Has somebody called DEPRAC?" Ned nodded, waving the radio in his hand.

"Said they'd be two minutes. Should be here in a minute."

"Perfect. Can we get that tea now, Kipps?"

He hesitated, obviously still unsure about what was going on. "Sure. We'll drop the other Source off first though, yeah?"

They left, and although Y/n could feel Lockwood's stare on her back, she didn't turn around.

~~~

It was a month later that Y/n saw Lockwood again, and it was almost the same situation. Her team had been patrolling the streets, making sure the area was secure, when they'd seen magnesium flares going off. They'd rushed in, and Y/n had scoffed when she caught sight of the long black coat and flashy moves.

"Outta the way, Tony!"

The Fittes team had made quick work of the Type Two, bagging the Source and claiming the reward. Y/n felt a little bad about the money, but at the same time Lockwood needed to learn how to get control over the situations he put himself in if he wanted to keep the reward. He seemed to take on the cases that were ridiculously out of his reach, and if Y/n was speaking to him she'd guess that he was trying to prove a point.

She and her team were warming up in a cafe afterwards, one of the late night ones that opened specifically for agents, when Lockwood and his coworker walked in. The pair breezed past, and when the other boy had smiled apologetically at them and given Y/n a little wave, she remembered who he was.

"George! Wait, it is George, isn't it?"

"Uh, yeah," he scratched the back of his head, and adjusted his glasses on his face. "I wasn't sure you remembered me, to be honest."

"I knew I'd seen you before, it just took me a bit to remember where from. Also it was dark the last two times we saw each other, so that won't have helped. Anyway, how are you?"

They chatted for a while, George shifting the piles of paper he had in his arms.

"Do you need to put those down?" she asked after he readjusted them for what seemed like the millionth time.

"I should probably get over to Lockwood, actually. I'm pretty sure he's burning holes in my jumper right now."

"Oh, he's glaring at me, don't worry."

"Why would he be glaring at you? You're lovely," he questioned, confused. "I thought you were just neighbours anyway?"

"Yeah. We had an argument a while back. He was a knob."

"Oh. Yeah, I can see that he would be." George nodded in understanding. "I should definitely go and join him though. We've got all this to get through," he held up the papers slightly, and Y/n smiled up at him.

"Well good luck, George. See you soon?"

"Probably the next time you save us. Lockwood has a death wish apparently. Doesn't let me research for long enough," he complained, shaking his head as he turned and left. Y/n had been right. Lockwood was being reckless, and he'd get himself, and quite possibly George, killed.

She and her team were just finishing up, with Kipps paying the bill and her other teammates standing with him at the till, when Lockwood came over. Y/n had stepped outside, breathing in the cold night air, and when she heard the door she instinctively turned to look, expecting her coworkers.

"Oh. It's you."

"C'mon. Don't be like that, Y/n."

She snorted. "You know you're proving me right, right? You keep throwing yourself into situations you can't win in, and you're going to get yourself killed."

"I'm not proving you right," he started, frown forming on his face. He'd had another growth spurt, she realised. He'd stepped closer to her, out of the way of the cafe door so that other agents could enter, and now he towered over her.

"Yes, you are. Stop being a dick, Lockwood, and realise that you're going to get yourself seriously hurt someday."

"Since when was I Lockwood to you?"

"You know when."

"True. Lovely message, by the way. Great parting gift."

"Yeah, well you were being an asshole, and it felt fitting to write 'fuck you'."

He muttered something under his breath, too quiet for her to hear.

"Excuse me?"

"I said, 'Yeah, I bet you'd like to'," he repeated, louder this time, meeting her eyes with a smug smile on his face.

"Grow up, Lockwood."

"That's not a denial."

Y/n turned to him, looking him dead in the eyes. "Yes it is." She tried to sound threatening, but that was difficult when he was nearly a whole head taller than her. She was saved by her team coming out of the cafe, and she shoved her hands in her pockets, hunching her shoulders against the chill.

"You alright, Y/n?" Kipps asked, concern for his colleague appearing on his face.

"Yeah, fine. Let's go."

~~~

Those meetings kept happening, and it was beginning to frustrate Y/n.

Lockwood had started being more flirty, as if he actually enjoyed getting on her nerves, and the past year had been exhausting.

It was the same every time.

Y/n's Fittes team would be patrolling, or coming back from a job, or heading to a job, when they'd see two figures, or their flares, or hear their shouts, fighting an incessant number of ghosts. The group would jump in, joining the fight, and somehow Y/n and Lockwood ended up next to each other. She was certain he engineered it that way specifically so that he could irritate her with his comments, and that just irritated her even more. What he said was always the same thing, too.

"Do you come here often?"

"We have to stop meeting like this."

"What are you doing after this?"

When she told him to shut up and focus on the job, he'd ignore her, or answer with something just as bad.

"Make me."

"I'll stop talking if you join me later."

Both of those were said with smug smirks and winks, and Y/n went home to her crappy flat close to the Fittes building (she couldn't stand being near him after the argument) every night wondering what the hell had happened to her old best friend.

The last case had been particularly annoying.

The same routine had occurred, but this time there were three of them.

Y/n was surprised to see the girl, but as soon as she saw her fighting she decided that she liked her. She was feisty, and from what Y/n could tell, didn't take any of Lockwood's shit. She looked like the sort of person Y/n would be friends with, or at least get along with, like with George (they had limited contact outside of saving them).

But then the Fittes team had helped, and Lockwood hadn't come near Y/n.

She was glad in some ways, it meant she didn't have his incessant flirting in her ear, and she was glad, until she looked to see where he'd gone.

He was side by side with the girl, and they fought together like they'd been doing it their whole lives. For some reason it annoyed Y/n, despite the fact she'd sworn to block out any feelings for Lockwood other than annoyance and hate, and she grumbled the rest of the night. Kipps picked up on it, and questioned her.

"What's up with you? Surely you'd be happy that Tony left you alone?"

"Yeah, I am. It's something else, don't worry."

"Alright... well, don't let it get to you too much, yeah? We need you focusing on missions, you're too good at what you do."

Y/n nodded, flushing slightly at the compliment.

They made it to the cafe just as Lockwood and Co did, and Y/n bristled at seeing the three of them laughing together.

Well, at seeing Lockwood and the girl laughing together.

George she was just happy to see, he was always nice to her back when he worked at Fittes, and when they passed each other in the Archives or finished jobs together, and she didn't think she could ever be mad at him.

Lockwood and his new colleague, however, she could justify.

"Oh, hi!"

Ugh, she was nice. That made disliking her even harder.

"Hi," Y/n forced a smile, hoping it didn't look too fake.

"I'm Lucy," she said, coming closer to Y/n as the two of them trailed behind the others.

"Y/n. How long you been working with him then?"

"Uh, about a week? Do you... do you not like Lockwood or something?"

"What makes you say that?"

"You just... said 'him' like you wanted to rip his head off."

"Oh. Well, that's one thing I wanna do to him."

Apparently Lockwood tuned in to their conversation at that specific moment, because he turned around, smirk already in place.

"What are the other things you want to do to me, Y/n? I'd love to find out later. My place or yours?"

Y/n scoffed, pushing past him to join her teammates. Behind her she heard a thump, followed by a small "Ow!" Assuming that Lucy had hit him, Y/n smiled, and started liking the girl again. Maybe she wasn't as bad as she originally thought.

~~~

It had been nearly two years since Y/n had first met Lucy, and her second impression of the girl had stuck.

They'd saved Lockwood and Co far too many times since the girls had first met, but Y/n didn't mind. She enjoyed seeing Lucy and George (and Lockwood, but she wouldn't tell anyone that), and if getting involved and having to suffer Lockwood's chatter meant that the three of them lived another day, Y/n would gladly take that sacrifice.

Y/n and Lucy met up regularly in the down time that they both shared, either at Y/n's flat, or in a cafe or shop somewhere. Sometimes George came along, having snuck out under the pretence that he was researching at the Archives, and the three of them had lengthy chats about pretty much anything. Lockwood came up in conversation a lot, of course, given he was something they all had in common, but Y/n always steered away from the subject.

Tonight, however, she wasn't getting let off the hook.

"Why do you always do that?" Lucy asked, stuffing a chip in her mouth. They were sat on the floor of Y/n's tiny kitchen, take away boxes of food in front of them.

"Do what?"

"Whenever Lockwood gets mentioned you start talking about other things. Why do you do that?"

Y/n shrugged, eating some of her own food. "'Cause he's a knob and I don't want to think about him more than I have to?"

"He's always flirting with you though, and you always flirt back."

"Thanks for the observation, George. And I do not flirt back!"

"Oh you totally do, like earlier, right, he was saying something about how your uniform really compliments your complexion or something, and you look really good in it, and you said, wait, George, you take over, I need a drink," Lucy spoke.

"You said 'thanks, I look better without it', and winked at him. I had to physically push him out of the way of a ghost because he was stood staring at you like an idiot."

"He always looks like an idiot," Y/n mumbled, cheeks going red.

"George is right, he's actually gonna end up hurting himself if you two don't get on with it soon."

"He's at risk of death anyway! And get on with what?"

"Snogging," Lucy said, at the same time George said "Making out."

Y/n stared at her friends, hand pausing halfway to her mouth, chip in between her fingers. "What?!"

"Seriously, there's so much tension I could slice it with my rapier. Just stick your tongue in his mouth already."

"Lucy!"

The girl just shrugged. "We are seventeen, you know that right? I know people who've shagged at seventeen. I'm honestly surprised the two of you haven't yet, which is why you need to get on with it."

"That would be... no, that's too weird."

"Why is it weird? He's your old neighbour, you had an argument about something petty probably, and now he's flirting with you 'cause he's realised how hot you are. If he doesn't kiss you I will, just so I can say I kissed the hottest girl I know."

"Aw, thanks Luce. I'd rather kiss you than him, to be honest."

"The bar is low. He's punching."

"Definitely. You alright George?"

"I don't understand girls," he replied, having been quiet the last few minutes while Y/n and Lucy went back and forth. "What did you argue about, anyway? Because you've held a grudge against him for at least three years now and I have never known why."

"Was it petty?"

"No, Lucy, it wasn't petty." Y/n sighed, taking a break from eating. "He... We were fourteen, just finished all of our training, and he told me he wanted to start his agency."

"That is kinda petty though."

"Lemme finish. I don't know how much he's told you about his family," she paused, looking at the other two.

"Not much, but we know they're all dead."

"Yeah, and he showed us Jessica's room."

Y/n raised her eyebrows. He'd kept that room stubbornly locked since she'd died.

"Right. Well, a week after her funeral, he told me he wanted to start training to be an agent. We were nine, and he was definitely not okay at all. Anyway, we did it, and then like I said, when we'd finished, he told me he wanted to start an agency in his house and he wanted me to join him. He was still not himself, and I was just worried that he was going to end up killing himself. Hell, he'd almost hurt me a few times in training. We were the top two in our academy, so we ended up fighting together a lot. But he'd get... intense. Focused. But not in a good way. It was like... he saw anyone he was up against as a ghost, and he wanted revenge for what had happened with his family. We argued about the agency. I told him something about how if he did it he'd just end up hurt, because I knew him and I knew that he wouldn't think he had anything to live for. He took that to mean that I thought he was incapable, and he told me to leave and that I could come back when I'd fixed my attitude."

The three of them sat in silence for a few minutes, Y/n staring at her take away box in her lap, George and Lucy absorbing everything she'd told them.

"Fuck," Lucy finally said, breaking the quiet.

"Yeah."

"Wait, so you weren't just neighbours?" George asked. "You must have been closer than that if you knew him so well."

"Best friends. We're the same age, and our parents had lived next to each other since before we were born. Just made sense really that we were friends."

"Does he know? That you were worried about him?" Lucy questioned.

"Probably not. Should have guessed it though, given how close we were. I mean, he's seen me ugly cry at funerals, and they weren't even my relatives, they were his."

"Maybe you should talk to him? I know, I know, he needs to apologise for being a knob, but you were fourteen. I mean, it's three years on and he's still the mental age of a five year old, but talking might help?"

"Anyway, Lockwood's hopeless when it comes to women. Completely clueless," George added.

"How would you know?" Y/n frowned, not liking the way her heart clenched at the idea of Lockwood talking to other girls.

"Because he hasn't done anything about you, and you're probably the most amazing girl that's ever going to get a chance with in his life. Maybe he's intimidated by you."

"He's not getting a chance. Not like that. Don't look at me like that, Luce. If I don't kiss him that means I'm kissing you."

"Oh, alright then. I'm fine if you don't wanna make up with him," she replied, cheeky smile appearing on her face.

They left the topic alone after that, moving on to other subjects, but Y/n couldn't help but think about the boy with a death wish.

~~~

It was only a week after her evening with George and Lucy that Y/n had to help save Lockwood again (it was so ridiculous she was almost entirely convinced he came unprepared just so that he could see her).

"Miss me, darling?"

"In your dreams, Lockwood," she shouted back at him, dodging a Type Two. She gritted her teeth as she hit the ground, jagged rocks digging in and pain shooting through her side. Rolling, she stood again, panicking for a moment when she realised she'd dropped her rapier.

"Here you go, darling," Lockwood said, appearing out of nowhere with her rapier. "Do I get a reward for returning your belongings?"

"Yeah, you do, actually," she replied, getting close enough to him she could feel his breath on her face. "You get to not be stabbed by me. Duck." He did, almost immediately, and Y/n threw a flare at the Spectre behind him. Lockwood popped back up, somehow still smiling despite the utter carnage surrounding them.

"If I got hurt, would you visit me in hospital?"

"Yeah, to finish you off."

He laughed, and Y/n turned away so he couldn't see the blush rising on her face at the sound. As she did so, she caught a glimpse of something that definitely wasn't dead rummaging around where she had thought the Source for the cluster was.

Relic men.

"Lockwood?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Relic men, over by the Source. What are we gonna do about them?" She hadn't taken her eyes off of the two figures that were crouched by the oak tree, afraid that if she moved her gaze they would run off. When Lockwood only cursed, she panicked, wondering what was wrong. Normally by now he would have charged in to the fight, all guns blazing. Why wasn't he doing that now? Had he suddenly realised that she was right? Because this was really terrible timing if he had. "Lockwood?" Her voice had gone up in pitch, fear making it quiver. Relic men were nasty, and a lot harder to deal with than ghosts. Ghosts she'd been trained for.

"We're surrounded by them. They're blocking all reasonable exits."

"Shit. Okay. What about unreasonable exits?"

"What?"

"You said they're blocking all reasonable exits, yeah? So what about the unreasonable ones? Could we get out anywhere else?"

"Uh... there's a gap in the fence over there," he pointed. "But that would mean letting them have the Source. It's too powerful, we can't let that happen."

"Ugh, okay, hang on. Go and tell the others, just in case they haven't noticed."

"What about you?"

"I'm keeping an eye on these two, make sure they don't get away. I'll try and get closer, but there's a lot of Type Ones in the way."

"You'll be okay?"

"If I die you can take me on a date."

"That's... what? That doesn't make sense."

"Take it or leave it, Lockwood. Get a move on."

He left, casting a last look over his shoulder at her before disappearing into the night to find the others. Y/n felt unease creep up her spine, and she gripped her rapier tighter, her other hand hovering over the remaining flares in her belt. The relic men were still digging, and a few of the ghosts had noticed the disturbance now, moving over. Y/n frowned, a thought occurring to her.

Relic men waited until the ghosts were gone.

So what were they doing here, now? Why endanger themselves? Before she could think on it further, she felt the air shift behind her and ducked to the left just as a fist appeared in the space her head was in mere seconds ago.

Shit.

She pulled herself back up, readjusting her grip on the rapier and taking a quick glance over to the tree. Seeing the two relic men still there, Y/n whipped back around, ducking again just in time to miss the next punch. The man pulled out a knife, the edges jagged, and a wicked grin came over his face. Y/n gulped, then parried his attacks. He was relentless, swinging and then swinging again immediately after, never letting up on her. It was all she could do to keep her arm upright and strong enough to block him, and the ache in her side from hitting the ground earlier was turning into a throb that wracked her body with pain. The relic man noticed the weakness, and his grin grew wider, broken teeth showing. He became even more frantic in his attacks, and Y/n felt herself stumbling backwards over the grass. The floor was uneven, and she tripped, crashing onto her back. She got her rapier up in time to hold off the relic man's knife that had carved a path through the air to cut through her head, but he was stronger than her, and his blade was edging closer to her face. He was only using the one hand, and Y/n realised a split-second too late that his other hand was reaching for his belt, where a second knife was strapped. Her eyes widened in recognition briefly right before he plunged the blade into her side, and she let out a scream.

The pain was all-consuming, and it took everything in her to keep her rapier up, the shockwaves coursing through her body. She took a hazy note of the fact that he hadn't pulled it out yet, which was good, but her vision was blurry, which was not so good. At least if the knife was still inside her body then she wasn't losing too much blood. Her grip weakened, and she saw the other knife jolt towards her face before it disappeared, the man being flung backwards into the bushes in a flash of light. Lucy appeared, hair wild and filled with leaves, her own rapier in hand. She crouched down, pressing a hand to Y/n's cheek and checking if she was okay.

"Threw a flare at him, should knock him out for a while. LOCKWOOD! HURRY UP! Sorry, I told him to get his ass over here just now, but he's stuck with some ghosts, and they're-"

"Lucy?"

"Yeah?" Her voice was hopeful, glad that her friend was conscious enough to speak.

"Please stop talking."

"Y/N!"

She winced at the shout, and Lucy moved over to make room for Lockwood. Y/n rolled her eyes at the cuts on his face, and the gash on his arm. "You can't help yourself, can you? Gotta throw yourself into danger headfirst."

"Shut up. Can you sit?"

"Did you just tell me to shut up? Anthony Lockwood, do not tell me to shut up when I could be dying."

"Y/n, please, don't do this. Can you sit?" His voice was insistent, desperation seeping into his expression, and his glare was convincing enough that she tried to sit up. The pain in her side was too much though, and she ended up half-slumped against a tree. "Who did this? Y/n? Who did this to you?" His tone was lower now, with something dangerous in the background.

"Lucy hit him with a flare. He's over there somewhere." She waved in the general direction she'd seen him disappear in. "Anthony, where are you going?" He froze, looking down at her from where he now stood. The full moon was behind him, and he looked otherworldly in the silver light.

"Lucy will stay with you, okay? Just hang on. I'll be back in a minute. Don't die on me now, Y/n/n." He softened a little at the last part, trying to convey a million emotions in a few words.

"Wait, I'm staying here?"

"Yes, Lucy." And with that he left, stalking in the direction Y/n had pointed him in.

"You alright?"

"Brilliant, thanks Luce," Y/n replied, and then she promptly passed out.

~~~

A soft beeping woke Y/n up, and the harsh light above her and the sterile smell in the air immediately told her that she was in a hospital.

That didn't explain the warmth in her left hand though.

Blinking as she adjusted to the bright light, she turned her head to the left, and had she not been drugged up on painkillers she would have reacted much more quickly and jerked away.

But she was drugged up on painkillers, so instead she just stared at the boy asleep in the chair next to her bed.

Anthony looked peaceful when he slept, he always had, but he didn't look particularly comfortable right now. His right hand was holding her left, and he'd managed to pull one of his long legs up onto the chair, bracing his forehead on his knee while his left arm dangled off the side of the armrest. Yeah, he couldn't be comfortable like that. She squeezed his hand lightly, but he didn't wake. A nurse came in, and upon seeing Y/n awake, smiled.

"Your boyfriend must love you a lot. He hasn't left your side since you came in. Rode in the ambulance with you too, which he wasn't meant to. Paramedics said he was very insistent and needed treating anyway, so they let him. He's been really worried about you." Y/n was on too much morphine to fully comprehend what was going on, and her brain had stopped working properly at the word 'boyfriend' anyway.

"Oh," was all she said, and the nurse smiled, going through her checkups. Y/n drifted in and out of consciousness for half an hour before Anthony woke up.

He blinked a few times, just as she had, stretching like a cat, long limbs going everywhere but never removing his hand from hers. His grip only tightened, and when he saw her watching him with a small smile on her face, he returned it.

"You're awake."

"No, I'm dead," she deadpanned. "Obviously I'm awake, idiot. If I died I'd have to go on a date with you."

He frowned. "Would that really be so bad?"

"Yeah. You should be going on a date with me, not the other way around."

He laughed lightly, more an amused exhale than anything else. "You are so drugged up right now."

"Yep," she replied, popping the 'p'. His thumb was stroking across her hand, and Y/n wondered if he knew he was doing it.

~~~

"Ugh, do I have to live at yours? What's wrong with my house?"

"You live on the fifth floor and there aren't any lifts. You were also specifically told not to climb too many stairs."

"Yeah, but your house has almost as many stairs as my apartment building, so what's the difference?"

"The difference is that I can look after you here, because I live here. Don't touch that, it's still healing, and- ow!"

"Oh shit, sorry. It looks healed."

"Yeah, well you're not the only one that got stabbed, alright? Here, let me get the door."

Anthony sprung up the last step, fishing the keys out of his coat pocket and unlocking the door. Y/n followed behind, wincing when the movement up the stairs put pressure on her wound. She'd been in hospital for two weeks once she'd woken up, and had been told to stay at home until she was properly healed. Anthony had taken on the role of carer immediately, and the nurses had all mentioned (multiple times) what a good and loving boyfriend he was, looking after Y/n the way he was, despite his own injuries.

Neither of them had denied it.

Once inside 35 Portland Row, Y/n took a look around, and was surprised to see that it had barely changed in the last three years.

"Right. Tea? I think George has just put the kettle on."

"Anthony?"

"Yeah?" His smile was tentative, clearly not wanting to scare her off when she'd just started calling him by his first name again.

"Please don't make me sleep on the sofa. Because that looks like the same one your parents got when we were four and I remember how uncomfortable that one is." She pointed to the sofa in question, and he shook his head.

"No, you're not sleeping there. What sort of a boyfriend would I be if I let that happen?" he joked, and Y/n felt her heart flutter at the idea. "You can sleep in my bed, alright? It's only one flight of stairs, which will hurt, but it'll be good for you to get the exercise in, make sure you're healing properly."

Y/n frowned. "Where are you sleeping if I'm in your bed?" She half expected him to say that he'd be right next to her, but he smiled softly again.

"Sofa. No, don't look at me like that, I've slept in worse places."

"What worse places? Ant, you've got to look after yourself! God, you're gonna give me a heart attack one of these days."

She started making her way up the stairs, huffing from the effort. She was tired, despite having spent just over two weeks lying down, and it was already late in the evening.

"It doesn't matter, alright? Just... let's just get you to bed, okay?"

"You're sleeping in a bed, and that's that."

"You are so stubborn sometimes."

"So are you!" She made it to the half landing, and hobbled over to the door she remembered being Anthony's. "You still in here?" At his nod, she pushed the door open, going over to the bed and sitting on the edge. "Seriously, this bed is big enough for the both of us. I'm not letting you sleep on the sofa, Ant. It's super uncomfortable."

"Won't that be... I don't know. Won't that be weird?"

"Why would it be weird?"

"Because we haven't... we're not... you don't like me and I'm scared you're going to murder me in my sleep."

"You... what? Uh... okay. I'm not gonna murder you in your sleep, Ant. One, that's completely dishonourable. I would do it while you were awake so that you could look into the eyes of your killer. Two, I do like you, I just also need you to apologise. For what you said."

"You want me to apologise? I was just defending myself, because I was hurt by what you said. You made out like I wasn't capable and that stung, because you'd always been my biggest supporter."

"Oh for fuck's sake, Anthony. I wasn't saying that at all. I was worried about you because you weren't yourself after Jess died. You were... I don't know. You weren't you, and it freaked me out when you said you were starting an agency, because it's a crazy thing to do! You sort of became a shell of my best friend, and disappeared, and I was worried that you would die and I would lose you because you wouldn't care about living anymore. I know that you are perfectly capable of fighting, and you're one of the best swordsmen I've ever met, but you're an emotional wreck, Ant."

He was quiet for a bit, staring into space as he thought about her words. Y/n sighed, lying down on the covers and closing her eyes.

"I'm sorry." She felt the bed dip next to her as he sat down. "I'm sorry. I said some horrible things to you and you had every right to leave. I don't have an excuse for what I said, and if you want to leave tomorrow morning then I'll help you move into your flat again. But I just... I'm sorry, Y/n/n."

Y/n sighed again. "I don't want to go. I've missed it here," she admitted. "And yeah, you were an idiot and an arse, but you're my idiot, alright? You have a lot of grovelling to do as well." He nodded rapidly, and a secret smile spread on his face, one of the ones he showed her and nobody else.

"Your idiot?"

"Yes, Anthony. My idiot." They smiled at each other, soft and gentle. A thought occurred to Y/n, and her brow furrowed. "What happened after I passed out in the park? All I remember is you looking murderous and asking who stabbed me."

"Oh, right." Anthony looked away, blush creeping up his neck.

"What happened?"

"He's not coming after you again, if that helps. Or anyone. DEPRAC completely purified the area."

Y/n gaped at him. "You killed him?"

Anthony shrugged. "He hurt you, badly, and you could have been killed. If Lucy had been a second later..." He trailed off, eyes clouding over slightly.

"Ant?" Y/n pushed herself up into a sitting position, wincing at the stab of pain that shot through her in protest.

"Hmm?" he turned to look at her, and his eyes went wide when she slid an arm up around his neck.

"Lucy and George think that we need to make out."

"They, uh... they what?"

"They think that we need to make out."

He swallowed thickly, eyes flickering between hers, trying to figure out what was going on. When he spoke, it was in a hoarse whisper.

"What do you think?"

"I think we should listen to them. They're normally right about things. What about you?"

"Uh... okay?"

Y/n hesitated, suddenly unsure.

"Ant, do you want to? Because if you don't that's totally fine, I just assumed that you felt the same as me, and we were both fine with the hospital thinking that we're dating, and I genuinely really like you, and I probably love you-" she was cut off by his lips on hers, slightly chapped but still soft.

"I do want to, I'm just hopeless around girls, especially the ones I've loved since I was about ten." He'd barely pulled away, his nose brushing the side of hers, breath fanning over her lips.

"George was right about that too, then," she murmured, kissing him again. "He said you were hopeless with women."

"Thank god. I thought he knew I've been in love with you for years."

"Oh you're in love now, are you?"

"Started about seven years ago, but sure." He pushed forward again, bringing a hand up to cup her cheek as he kissed her softly and slowly.

"Is that why you flirted with me?"

Anthony flushed, nodding slightly. "In my defence I am completely hopeless with pretty girls, and I wanted to know if there was any chance of you sharing my feelings."

Y/n kissed him again, short and sweet. "I love you, Anthony Lockwood. Just look after yourself more, yeah?"

"I love you too," he replied. Y/n prodded him in the side.

"And?"

"And I'll look after myself more," he said, smiling. "Anything for you, anytime."

They kissed again, for longer this time, exploring each other and being mindful of their injuries, and Y/n thought she could happily spend eternity wrapped up in his arms

"You're definitely not sleeping on the sofa," she said when they paused for air a while later.

"If you say so," he smirked, wiggling his eyebrows. She smacked a hand against his chest, face going red at his implication.

"Not like that, idiot."

"Your idiot," he smiled, pure joy on his face as he pecked her lips.

"My idiot," she replied, mirroring his grin.

[catboymettaton]

stuck shed

lawlight hurt/comfort, rated T, exactly 1500 words

in which L is super depressed and light won’t let him sulk in bed. canon compliant

read on ao3 or below

-

Later, he’ll insist it was an act. When Matsuda reminds him of his self deprecation, he’ll claim he was just sulking. He didn’t really believe it.

He is, after all, all three of the world’s greatest detectives. He’s Eraldo Coil. He’s Deneuve. He’s even Rue Ryuzaki, though no one else is left to remember the original.

And he’s L, laying face down in bed.

He knows Light isn’t Kira right now, because Kira would kill him. Even without his real name, he has options. L made a point of stocking their room with objects that could easily crush his skull.

He is beginning to regret the handcuffs.

Without the handcuffs, he would be free to sulk about and burrow under the bed and wither away into nothingness. Without the handcuffs, it would be all too easy to step just a little too close to the roof’s edge and let the wind take care of the rest. Has Light noticed there are gaps in the barriers?

But he’s bound himself to Light Yagami as some bizarre power play, as if Light can’t pick locks and as if there aren’t ways to kill one but not the other.

And now Light is tugging incessantly at his wrist. “Come on, Ryuzaki,” he’s saying.

L holds his breath. He can last up to three full minutes without breathing. Maybe that will be long enough to convince Light he is dead.

It is not.

“Look, I know you’re too busy sulking about how I’m not an evil fucking serial killer, but I need to pee.”

So piss yourself, Kira. He knows Light would be deliciously angry at the suggestion, and yet he cannot force the words out of his mouth.

Light flips him onto his back, shaking his shoulders. His eyes fly open in shock: Light rarely touches him. His vision is blurry from the pressure of the pillow – Light’s angry amber eyes are softened into streaks. L does not blink.

“I’m afraid I cannot move,” he manages. The rotation has left his chest encircled by the chain. “Is this part of your plot against me?”

Light tugs him into a seating position and unwraps him. “There. Get up.”

L trudges to the bathroom after him, sinking into his crouch in the hallway outside. He feels so deeply tired that he doubts the boost to his deductive reasoning skills will be much help, but he cannot recall how else to contort his legs below him. He blinks and rubs his eyes. Clearing his vision does nothing to clear his head.

Light emerges from the bathroom. L stands, prepared to return to the bed. He aches to reunite his nose with his soft, downy pillow. But instead, Light pulls him into the bathroom.

“We need to take a shower.”

“We?” Early on, L elected to allow Light to shower separately from him. To the rest of the team, he can use this as proof that he is capable of respecting others’ personal boundaries. But in truth, it is simply more convenient, and he appreciates having a bit of personal time to himself.

“Yes, we. You haven’t showered all week.”

Has it really been a week? L is usually fastidious with his cleaning. Of course, he usually has his washing machine, where he can sit peacefully and not have to worry about applying soap and shampoo and conditioner and scrubbing every nook and cranny of his body. Standing in the tub and using his hands is far more effort. It’s exhausting.

He touches his hair. He supposes it is getting greasy.

So he undresses and follows Light into the warm, soothing stream. His hands are firm but gentle as they massage the shampoo through his hair. He uses a soft washcloth to scrub at L’s skin, and L melts into his touch. As he rubs in the soap, Light kneads at L’s shoulders and back, freeing up knots he didn’t know he was carrying. He sighs in relief. He feels like an injured baby bird being nursed delicately back to health. When Light washes himself, he marvels at the confidence of those long, slender hands.

When the water stops, Light wraps L up in a soft, warm towel. His clean, dry skin feels new and delicate, as if he’s shed an old outer layer. Light dries his hair firmly but gently, drawing out the moisture without tugging too roughly. He leaves the towel around L’s shoulders as he dries himself off, and L touches the fibers with his fingertips.

Normally, he knows, Light has a complex post shower routine, rubbing several creams into his skin and styling his hair with gel. But today he only uses lotion. He shares it with L, working it into his skin one limb at a time.

“What’s all this for, Light?” He’s caused Light nothing but torment, and yet here he is, running a comb through L’s tangled hair.

Light ignores the question, and returns with his own instead. “When was the last time you ate a real meal?”

L shrugs. Watari brings him treats before he even realizes he’s hungry, and the sugar keeps the gears of his brain clicking along. He knows, vaguely, that he’s supposed to eat other food as well, but his cakes and cookies and pastries are just so much easier and they do the job well enough.

Light sighs. “Let’s get dressed. Then I’m asking Watari to bring breakfast for both of us.”

Light picks a pink collared shirt and slips his favorite sweater over it. L selects the first white shirt and jeans he sees. He catches Light giving him a sidelong glance, as if he objects to L’s homogenous wardrobe, but he doesn’t voice his thoughts.

L moves for the bed and Light pulls him down into a chair. “We are eating at the table.”

The past few days, L has been eating Pop Tarts ordered specially from America. He’s fond of the strawberry milkshake variety.

Watari arrives with a full platter. To his dismay, there are no Pop Tarts. The choices are rice, various soups, eggs, or a sorry looking beige cereal. His one consolation is a fresh bowl of strawberries off to the side.

“Itadakimasu.” Light takes a bowl of soup.

L considers his options. He doesn’t want any of them. He wants strawberry milkshake Pop Tarts.

“The miso soup is quite delicious.”

He doesn’t want miso soup. He doesn’t want rice. He doesn’t want eggs. He doesn’t want plain cereal. It’s just cruel to make cereal without marshmallows or fudge or something else sweet.

He does want strawberries, and so he bites into one. It’s perfectly ripe and cleaves easily under his teeth. Soon he’s finished half the bowl, and he’s starting to feel better. He reaches for another, and Light catches his hand in the air.

“Good job, Ryuzaki. How about you save the rest for after you try something else?”

He doesn’t want something else.

“The eggs are especially tasty today.”

He doesn’t want eggs.

Begrudgingly, he serves himself some rice, because it’s the only dish that Light didn’t recommend that he can bear the thought of eating. It’s plain and dry and entirely unappetizing. But Light smiles as he places his chopsticks in his mouth, and so he perseveres.

Satisfied, Light holds out a strawberry, pinching the leaves between his fingers. L leans forward and bites into it. Juice stains Light’s fingerprints. Light appears unphased, and feeds him the rest of the bowl in this way. When he’s done, L runs his tongue over Light’s fingertips, lapping up the juice. He isn’t sure why he does this, but Light appears unphased.

“How are you feeling now, Ryuzaki?”

L feels cleaner. L feels annoyed about eating rice. L feels happy because of the strawberries. None of these answers are accurate.

Light studies him as he searches for the right words. His hair is softer and messier without the gel. It gives him a certain charm, a look approaching innocence. His eyes are round and warm, just as they’ve been since that strange day when he became insistent that this was all a mistake. There’s something suspicious in that warmth.

But what of Light’s actions today? L is sure that Light hates him. He kept him imprisoned for nearly two months and has him on a very short leash. Light has made it clear that he resents L’s utter confidence in his former identity as Kira. But Light was so gentle when he washed him. He didn’t even insult L’s appearance or odor, merely stating neutrally that it had been a week.

What was L to Light? What was Light to L? L named Light his first friend – a lie, of course there had been others before, and Light was a suspect, not a friend. And yet at the same time it was the truth: there is something special about Light. His feelings for him are new.

He finds an answer. “I almost hope you aren’t Kira, after all.”

[deryowo]

Change

Notes: Ok I'm bored (and horny) so I want to write something, I feel like lately my fics are very meh just sex and no, I want something interesting so I brought this please enjoy :D

Summary: You meet up with your old friend from your first job and also the one you used to fuck.

Contains: sex, drugs and bad language.

( ˆ𐃷ˆ) .ᐟ.ᐟ

It was November 2003, you had graduated from high school a year ago and hadn't done anything since.

You couldn't pass the entrance exam for the university you wanted to go to and that affected you deeply.

Yes, a fucking sabbatical year, where you only dedicated yourself to reading, watching rented movies and smoking in the backyard hiding from your parents, you didn't go out with friends because they were always busy and that made you quite depressed.

It was difficult and uncomfortable to go out and meet people, I mean you weren't desperate to leave solitude behind but it was horrible having to live the same day, alone at home doing nothing.

Your parents, fed up with the situation, forced you to go out and look for a job, at least part-time.

At first it was difficult, but you managed to find a job in a supermarket and that was where you met the devil.

“Hello, my name is Wong Hendery, I am the employee of the month and my job is to explain to you how the place works,” he said in a tired tone, looking like he hated life and needed a vacation.

The first day he explained to you how the place worked, he put you in charge of helping by putting the customers' purchases in bags while he was the cashier.

And to be honest, the day had been a fucking shit but at least you were going to get money and you would stop being a burden on your parents.

They closed the business at 12 in the morning, it was just you and him in the employee room, taking his things from the lockers, the silence was uncomfortable but you were afraid to try to talk to him, since he seemed like he would respond sarcastically or be rude.

“Congratulations on your first day, you did well” breaks the ice, scaring you with his sudden comment that was surprisingly positive.

“Oh thank you, I promise to try hard to be even better” you answered nervously and almost stuttering to which he laughed and for the first time you saw him with a different face.

“You just put objects in plastic bags, but that’s okay, Mrs. Positivity,” he answers as he takes his discman out of his pants pocket and disconnects the headphones. “It’s time to go. Where do you live?”

“No, you don’t have to come with me, I can go alone” you didn’t want to be a bother to him and you also didn’t want to know your parents’ reaction when they saw you arriving home with an unknown boy.

“Don’t be silly, it’s dangerous at this time, come on, let’s go in my car.”

( ˆ𐃷ˆ) .ᐟ.ᐟ

You accepted the offer after insisting that you didn't want to bother him but you decided not to hurt his ego, you were in his car listening to Radiohead and Blur.

No one spoke at first until he broke the ice for the second time by asking, “And tell me, what misfortune in life forced you to work in this place?”

You were right about him hating his life, but his question was funny because of the tone in which he said it, so with a little confidence you answered, "Well, my parents want to kick me out of the house. I've been a burden since I finished school."

“Damn girl, we have something in common” he says with a half smile (super cute) and without taking his eyes off the road “I hate this job, but I’m saving up for my studies and leaving”

Now you were more curious about him, he was so mysterious, how did an absolutely ordinary boy cause so much interest in you?

“Where are you planning to go?” you ask a little nervously because you sounded very nosy but he doesn’t seem to mind.

“From my shared apartment, I live with my best friend, but you know, sometimes you need privacy, sometimes you tend to bring girls and…” he paused for a few seconds and turned to look at you with a slightly perverted smile “well, you know what I'm talking about”

Sex, god that topic.

You weren't a virgin, but you didn't fuck often, something in his words made you think, well, he's handsome. Does he have a girlfriend?

“Oh yeah, god, that’s so awkward,” you replied, amused and praying to yourself that the situation wouldn’t get weird.

“Yes, it is uncomfortable, but one day I will leave or better yet, I will bring a girl so he can feel my discomfort” what the hell did he just say?

“Don’t you have a girlfriend?” you blurted out shamelessly and after a few seconds you analyzed what you had just said, god you screwed up.

But by the grace of the Holy Spirit he had already arrived at your house. “Is this where it is?” he asks you and you quickly nod your head so he can forget what you just said.

“Thank you very much, I'm sorry for wasting your time,” you say, almost running from the car, but you notice that he just laughs from his seat and smiles at you without stopping to look you in the eyes.

“You didn't waste my time, I'm glad I got to know you better” he answers and it makes you even more nervous, but not in a bad way, rather he's being very nice to you “See you tomorrow”

and he started his car and you saw him leave, you entered your house and luckily everyone was asleep but you noticed that you had received a message from an unknown number.

Unknown Numbers: I don't have a girlfriend, I didn't answer you.

You: fine but how did you get my number?

*you added hendery (job) to your contacts*

Hendery (job): I got it from your CV, I was the one who hired you.

( ˆ𐃷ˆ) .ᐟ.ᐟ

A month had passed and everything was fine, nothing out of the ordinary, just that Hendery…

They both worked at the cash registers and at the same hours, at night.

It had become common for the two of you to be left alone in the staff room and for there to be a lot of sexual tension between you.

Every day I would drop you off at home with the excuse that I didn't want anything bad to happen to you but you knew it was to spend more time with you.

This time he had invited you to eat, some hamburgers since there wasn't much time at the time but you didn't complain, you admit that you really like being with Hendery.

They were in their car on a deserted street and it was 2 am, Hendery had a cigarette in his left hand and in the other he was holding your hand while he talked about his day.

“… then that bitch started taking out all the damn coupons while her son was staining the floor with the ice cream he was carrying, in the end he paid 50 dollars of the 200 that it was but for her stupid coupons”

“Oh god, people are so sick” you reply laughing to which his face turns serious and he turns to look at you.

“Yes, but it’s a good technique, the truth is that you save a lot of money” he took a drag on his cigarette and turned around to offer you something to which you agreed.

You grabbed the cigarette with your free hand and took a drag, he watched you totally enthralled by how good you looked, doing something as simple as smoking.

“Baby, I like you a lot” he says without any shame and instead of being surprised you simply blow out the smoke and approach him so you can kiss him.

“Hendery, you turn me on so much” he smiles victoriously and you notice how he starts his car and grabs the cigarette again to smoke it one last time and throw the butt out the window.

“I don’t believe you, so let’s go to my house to see if what you’re telling me is real.”

( ˆ𐃷ˆ) .ᐟ.ᐟ

They entered his room which was small and full of beer cans and cigarette butts everywhere, he threw you on his bed and climbed on top of you without stopping kissing you.

“Now I want you to scream as much as you can, I'm very big” he tells you, taking off his shirt carelessly.

“I don’t believe you, show me,” you respond flirtatiously, to which he gets off of you and takes off your pants and work shirt so that you are only left in your underwear.

He had also completely stripped down but paused to put some music on his CD player “I really want to piss off Yangyang, he hates Deftones”.

He comes back to you to open your legs and kiss your thighs, with his hands he touches your butt and lifts the lace of your panties trying to take them off.

“fuck hendery” you grab him by his hair and watch as he managed to pull down your panties and began kissing your pussy.

“Baby I really wanted to do this to you” he sucked you so good that you unconsciously moaned loudly, forgetting that his roommate was next door listening to everything.

He started putting his fingers in you while still licking you, the music was loud and you just said “damn dery, please keep going”

He stopped and pulled out a condom from his nightstand, you watched as he put it on and filled his cock with lube (and yes, it really was big).

Before entering you, I take off your bra so I can kiss your breasts and caress them a little, I was very focused on them.

He entered you and began to move quickly, he held your waist tightly and looked at you seriously.

You grabbed his neck and tried to kiss him to which he leaned forward and accepted your lips, it was the dirtiest kiss you had ever had in your entire life, he stuck his tongue in your mouth, he also bit your lips and licked your face.

He was eager to fuck you hard, he was a 20-year-old boy with a boring life, he only dedicated himself to work, that you came into his life was a miracle since he had not fantasized about someone for a long time and seeing you at work made him hot.

He had been imagining you sneaking into the employee bathroom and masturbating him during work hours, or riding him in his car after work.

Now this situation, where he's fucking you late at night with Yangyang by your side, knowing that in the morning he's going to be super upset because he didn't sleep because of you two.

“I need you to ride me bitch” he tells you and you act quickly, you didn’t want to disappoint him.

Being on top of him you start to jump, he grabs your neck and squeezes it, he was being very rough but instead of bothering you you loved it.

It was hard to breathe but you were willing to do anything for him at that moment, his expressions were worth it.

“Your pussy, it feels so good, fuck” he buried his head in the pillow and held you really tight.

“Do you like me?” you say to him and all you see is him nodding with his mouth open and moaning loudly.

No hallucinogenic drug had ever made him like this, it was the best experience he was having, fucking his new coworker.

He lowered his hands from your neck and placed them on your tits, squeezing them hard as you rode him.

“I'm cumming baby” he said while he grabbed your hips and moved you faster.

You felt it pouring inside you and it turned you on so much, because seeing how he became weak for you had become an honor for you, a boy who was always serious, was now desperate for you.

When you finished you got off and lay down next to him but he hugged you and tried to open your legs “wait baby, I think you haven't cum yet”

You nodded and opened them for him, he put his hand on your pussy and began to touch you, with the same passion as a while ago, his movements were quick and concise.

“Since you came to work, life is less boring, you know,” he says, squeezing you tighter. “I really like you babe, we have to do this more often.”

“I know dery, ah, I love being with you” you reply hugging his arm and unconsciously scratching it a little.

“A bitch like you is hard to get, I think I love you” and his dirty words hit your feelings making you cum on his fingers.

Your breathing was ragged, you almost fainted on top of Hendery but the pleasure was incredible, he laughed at your reaction, he pulled his fingers out of you and hugged you this time with both hands while kissing your shoulders.

“Hey, hey, are you okay?” he says as he lays you down better on the bed.

You were still weak from the recent orgasm but you weren't going to die, you responded by raising your thumb and smiling at Hendery, who smiled back at you "let's rest baby"

( ˆ𐃷ˆ) .ᐟ.ᐟ

Por suerte el dia siguiente entraban a trabajar tarde, tuviste tiempo de devolverte a tu casa a las 9 am y salir de ahi a las 12 del medio dia.

Today, Hendery and you switched positions and were in the aisles arranging products and helping customers with their questions. You were in the gardening aisle and he was in the cereal aisle.

They barely saw each other until at one point during the day he snuck into your hallway to greet you. He had taken you by surprise but you were glad to see him.

“Hey babe, how are you? I’ve missed you all day,” he says from afar because due to work rules they couldn’t hug each other.

“Dery, they're going to kill you, go back to work” you tell him amused knowing he wouldn't listen “do you really miss me?”

“I miss seeing your ass while you serve people” he replies shamelessly to which you try to hit his shoulder but he manages to dodge it “I'm joking, I have to tell you, I really liked what we did yesterday, my partner went totally crazy, he scolded me all morning” he comments while looking at the gardening tools.

“I think that's excellent, you really are loud” you laughed and he became serious at the joke and his expression made you laugh more.

“Look who's talking” he answers, followed by him trying to imitate your moans, for the second time you tried to hit him “ok what I really wanted to tell you, seriously we have to do it again”

And you knew he was serious by the look in his eyes. “I don’t know Hendery, I don’t have time for a relationship.” You confess, being honest, although a little in disagreement with your answer because deep down you love Hendery.

“No, I know, we have the same schedule, silly, what I mean is, I want to keep fucking you.”

“What do you want to tell me?”

“Friends with benefits, I know I may seem like an idiot to you, but you can’t deny that yesterday was incredible.”

Yes it was, you had been depressed for months because of the results of the entrance exam, you saw how your friends studied their desired careers and had a great life while you sat in your room.

“Let me think about it dery” you reply but he answers automatically and holding your forearm.

“baby please” he says making dog eyes.

“How pathetic” you say, letting go of his hold and crossing your arms as you look at him straight in the eye. “Convince me.”

He looks at you curiously and just asks “how?” to which you take him by the hand and head to the staff room.

( ˆ𐃷ˆ) .ᐟ.ᐟ

One day in December 2003, Wong Hendery, a 20-year-old boy, was with you in the small employee room, lying on the dirty sofa lent to them by the company, with your pussy on his face, licking your entire cavity.

That same day they made a deal, to fuck without any commitment or feeling, but with a lot of perversion and desire.

They were in that strange relationship until July 2004, when unfortunately by fate Hendery told you that he would start studying far away and would leave his job.

“You know, my friend Yangyang has been wanting to live alone for months and I was thinking about starting to study art at university, I finally got the money together.”

The two were talking after having fucked in the morning, they were hugging each other in bed and completely naked, only covered by a sheet.

“Well, I support you, I know you wanted to save up the money to pay for your degree,” you reply, placing a hand on his chest.

You tried to pretend that it didn't hurt to know that Hendery was no longer going to be with you, not because of sex, but because you found his company pleasant and life had changed a lot since then.

But it would be selfish to deny him his goals and control his life for a simple whim of yours, so you just accepted it.

A week after that conversation, Hendery resigned from his position, leaving you as the manager of the supermarket.

It had been difficult the first few weeks, since you decided to change your schedule and go in the mornings so you could cry all night, remembering how nice it was to go out with him in his car, listening to music and talking about everything.

Your friends recommended that you try the university exam again, so that you could also get ahead and be entertained thinking about something other than Hendery.

So you tried again and it worked, you were able to get in.

So you spent 3 years studying architecture, which was your dream career since you started high school.

At that time you met Haechan, who were not exactly a couple but spent a lot of time together.

He was funny and studied biotechnology, although he was an exemplary person, you couldn't stop thinking about Hendery.

In his music, his smell of cigarettes, his bad jokes, his kisses.

It was a dead issue, but by some miracle, one afternoon in November 2007 while you were walking through the aisles of the bookstore looking for some books for the next semester, you felt a somewhat peculiar presence.

“You know, I really liked the order of the phoenix, I went with a super hot girl, we left the cinema and she sucked me off in the parking lot” it was yangyang, more than once they had breakfast together with Hendery with the awkwardness that the day before he heard them fucking.

At his side was Hendery, laughing at Yangyang's anecdotes.

You almost died in the middle of the hallway when he noticed your presence, the two of you looked at each other and his only reaction was to leave Yangyang talking to himself and walk towards you.

“Baby, god it’s been so long” and he threw himself at you to hug you “How have you been?”

“Oh God Hendery” they spent about 10 minutes hugging each other while Yangyang watched them tenderly.

“I’m fine, I thought we wouldn’t see each other again.”

“Did you think I was going to abandon you?” I wanted to say something more explicit but out of respect for Yangyang I didn't say more (although Yangyang had heard them fuck several times).

( ˆ𐃷ˆ) .ᐟ.ᐟ

That afternoon they went to have coffee and talk about everything that had happened during the time they were apart.

“So, do you have a boyfriend?” she said, looking at her cup and smiling curiously.

“It’s funny, because the first time you dropped me off at my house I asked you that, you know,” you reply, trying to joke about your first awkward moment together.

“True, then I wrote you on the phone because I had saved your number from your CV” and it was nice how he remembered every detail.

“Oh yes I remember, you scared me that time”

The way he looked at you so lovingly, like when you were working together.

“I also remember when I left, I really felt bad” he says grabbing his cup and taking a sip of his coffee “I had gotten used to being with you”

“I really felt very alone when you left, but my friends motivated me to take the entrance exam again and I was able to get into university. Now I am studying my degree and everything is fine.”

He smiled because he was really glad you were okay, but then you saw how he looked down and played with the spoon in his coffee. “You could have gotten over me, I will never forget you.”

His words were harsh, they felt heavy, you knew he didn't say it to make you feel bad, but to confess his feelings.

“I was thinking about you all the time, you don’t know how happy I am that we meet again” and he raised his gaze to give you his sweet smile “will you let me take you home? Like before”

( ˆ𐃷ˆ) .ᐟ.ᐟ

They were driving through the city in their car, you were leaning on the window watching the lights of the buildings, listening to Linkin Park, both of you in silence, enjoying the moment, there was no need to talk, it didn't feel awkward.

It didn't matter that you hadn't seen each other for years, it didn't matter that you were flirting with Haechan anymore, you felt comfortable with his hand caressing your thighs, you missed his touch.

And that wasn't the only thing that had come back and made you feel nostalgic, the smell of cigarettes, his rebellious child music, the seductive glances he threw at you from time to time, his warm presence.

You always knew you were in love with Hendery, Hendery was the man of your life, you suffered so much when he left and now you have him again, you couldn't let him get away again.

When you got to your apartment, before getting out of your car, you saw him and decided to talk. “I don't have a boyfriend, I was talking to someone, but seeing you again has made me change my mind,” you confess.

“Oh baby, what do you want to tell me?” He played dumb but he knew what you were getting at, he was so excited for what was coming.

“I want to invite you to come to my house and spend the night together.”

He smiled flirtatiously, took your hand and kissed it, looked at you with stars in his eyes and replied, “Okay, but I need to go buy something. Will you come with me or wait for me at your house?”

( ˆ𐃷ˆ) .ᐟ.ᐟ

You decided to stay home waiting for him, curious about what he was going to buy.

You walked around the room, checking to see if everything was in order, if there was anything dirty or out of place, thinking about what was going to happen, you couldn't stop overthinking the situation.

Until you heard him arrive in his car from the window and you ran out to open the door.

When you saw him again, he smiled pervertedly at you, saying, “I already have what it takes.” He took you by the waist and closed the door to your apartment.

“What did you buy, Dery?” you ask, dying of doubt but with an idea of ​​what he brought.

“Well, to be honest, I bought a wine, because it is elegant, I also bought some cigarettes that I needed,” he said while taking the objects out of the bag. “Also, I brought some lubricant and condoms, lots of condoms.”

And it was more than obvious, they hadn't touched each other for years, they needed it.

“Oh dery, me” and he interrupts you with a kiss on the mouth, like the ones they used to give each other before.

“Princess, I need you right now” he spoke to you while joining his forehead with yours, his lips separated by centimeters and hugging you to make you feel better.

“Let’s go to my room” you took his hand and led him to your room, this time it was just the two of you, no annoying roomie or parents or anything.

When he entered he threw you on your bed and closed the door, he threw himself on you and began to take off your clothes while kissing your skin.

His hands touched your entire body, squeezing your thighs, hitting your legs, biting your abdomen and kissing your tits.

He was still dressed, but soon he began to pull down his pants and take out his cock, which he had been missing being inside you for years. He looked at you and said, “Come on, suck it.”

You took it with both hands, noticing how hard it was and how sensitive it was to your touch. You caressed it carefully before giving it a good lick along its entire length.

Sensing your desperation, he grabbed your hair so it wouldn't get in your way while you were doing your job and just watched you.

It was weird, since the Hendery from before loved to be rough, he would have pushed your head down until the tip of his cock reached your throat, he would have spit in your mouth followed by a soft slap on your face.

“God you are so cute baby, I need you so much” The Hendery of before would have called you a bitch, but the current one looked in love, very much in love.

His only sudden movement was to pull you off his cock and lean down to kiss your lips, pushing you back so he was on top of you again and in complete control.

He took off his shirt and you took the opportunity to lick and leave kisses and bites all over his abdomen, driving him crazy instantly. It was almost impossible to change positions because you wouldn't stop kissing.

After 3 minutes of just kissing, he turned you over so he could fuck you doggy style, entering slowly, making it frustrating every second without having his whole cock inside.

Having it completely inside he slapped your ass and leaned over to speak to you hatefully “so fucking hot” he pulled it out completely but when he put it back in he did it suddenly.

And there it was again, the aggressive Hendery, began to move slowly but each thrust was hard, hitting you very hard inside, moaning loudly with each lash.

“Have you been practicing with others?” You turn around trying not to fall forward, Hendery was turned on by your question but reacted by hitting your butt.

“There have been others, but none as beautiful as you” he grabbed your hair and pulled you back, lifting you up a little and bringing you closer to him, going to your forehead and saying “none as dirty as you” followed by a kiss on your neck.

Minutes later he changes your position, now you are below him, both of you facing him and he is attacking your entire body.

He was still frantic as he fucked you, talking dirty into your lips and biting them from time to time.

Your legs were hugging his hips and your hands were rubbing his back, the sounds of the bed hitting the wall were already unbearable, Hendery was about to cum and looked at you with desire, trying to speak “Now are you going to be my girlfriend?”

I had been wanting to ask you that again for years but I was afraid of rejection. Maybe tonight would be different for him. I didn't know if it would be the last time I would see you.

“hendery… me ah”

“Come on baby, I’m going to cum”

“Yes I want it, I always wanted it” it was impossible to speak because of the way he moved, his reaction was to kiss you and cum inside you.

As his liquid poured into you, he lowered himself at his speed, kissing your face and squeezing your hand. “I really never forgot you.”

[tikosblogg]

FREE FALL// pt 2.

Summary: Roxanne lived her life in foster care, after her parent’s lives were ripped away. Leaving her alone. She’s lost all hope, her will to live…until she meets him.

Warnings: talks of suicide. Depression, anxiety, abuse, mention of death. Please do not read if that triggers you. Smut (eventually) angst.

A/N: so sorry how short this is!! I wanted to get one more chapter out before I go M.I.A for the week! I hope you guys still enjoy! PLEASE LEAVE SOME FEEDBACK! I would love to know what you guys think! Thank you for your love and support! ❤️

I woke up, rolling over in bed staring up at my ceiling. My life still sucks absolute dick…but meeting Noah, made me feel a lot less alone. I’m actually kind of excited to see him again tonight. I’ve done pretty good steering clear of Jamie’s wrath these past few weeks. She’s been super busy. I turned my head towards the window, noticing the sun shining bright. I gasped, before jumping out of bed, making my way downstairs. I woke up late. From the looks of it, I was supposed to be up hours ago.

I forgot to set my fucking alarm clock. I stayed up late writing in my journal, I must’ve fallen asleep. I ran down the wooden stairs, busting through the kitchen door. Jamie sat there at the kitchen table, calm and quiet. Puffing on a cigarette. “Jamie I’m so sorry, my alar-.” She raised the palm of her hand to silence me, still not looking my way. “Sit.” I gulped, and hesitantly stepped forward, pulling out a chair and sitting next to her. We sat silently as she continued puffing away. “You think it’s funny to disrespect me?” I quickly shook my head. “No ma’am, I wa-“

“SHUT UP!” Her loud voice echoed off the walls of the kitchen, making me flinch. “I bring you into my home, I take care of you, feed you, give you a place to lay your head...and this is how you treat me?” I kept silent, even though I wanted to laugh in her face. Take care of me? Yeah ok. “Frankly Roxanne…I’m getting sick and tired of the blatant disrespect.” Before I could open my mouth, Jamie had a fist full of my hair, yanking it back. “Jamie please! I’m sorry!”

Jamie chuckled, standing from her seat. She moved behind my chair, keeping my hair tight in her grip. “Oh I bet you are. You know what happens when one of you stupid little girls doesn't listen to me?” I was full on sobbing at this point. She tugged my hair harder, making my head fall back until I was looking up at her upside down as screamed down at me. “ANSWER ME.”

I sobbed, and hiccuped stuttering out the answer. “W-we get p-punished.” she smiled down at me, her yellow teeth making an appearance. “That’s right.” Next thing I know, her cigarette is pressing into my cheek, right up under my left eye. I screamed, trying to jerk away but to no avail. After a few seconds, she pulled it off, throwing it into the ashtray in the middle of the table. “Go to your room. I’ll be there in a minute.”

I scrambled from the chair, booking it upstairs to my room. I ran in, slamming the door shut. I slid to the floor, letting out a few more sobs. I hate that bitch. I moved over to my bed, holding my stinging cheek. It’s definitely gonna scar. My thoughts were interrupted by my door slamming open. Jamie walked in with her thick leather belt. I backed away, until my back hit the wall. In an instant she was in front of me. I took blow after blow, on my naked legs, arms, back, and even my face.

At some point I was completely numb. I laid there still, until she decided she was done. “You are nothing Roxanne!!! Nothing!” I woke up, much later. I must've passed out. I went to sit up, instantly halting and groaning in pain. My whole body felt like it was on fire. My muscles were completely stiff and sore. With all the strength I had left, I dragged myself off the floor, limping my way to the bathroom. I sucked in a breath at my reflection. I didn’t even recognize myself.

I had welts, and bruises covering my body. My right cheek was black and blue, throbbing in pain. My left cheek is still stinging from Jamie’s cigarette. It left a perfect circle of burnt raw skin. I stripped my clothes off, stepping into the shower. I let the ice cold water fall over me, as I cried my heart out. I almost decided not to see Noah tonight. I don’t want him to see me like this, but I have to check on him. I would never forgive myself if something happened, and I wasn’t there.

I stepped out wrapping a towel around me. I quietly made my way to my room to get dressed. I decided on some sweatpants, and my black hoodie. I checked the time. 10:30pm. I have 30 minutes before I need to meet Noah. I pulled my hood up on my head, and checked for any sounds around the house. Once I deemed it safe, I grabbed my flashlight, and made my way out to the fire escape. I was a lot slower this time, but when I finally made it to the ground, I headed straight for Mercy Hospital.

20 minutes later, I finally made it. I opened the door, and limped over to the stairwell. I made it about 2 flights up, before my body finally gave out. I groaned hitting the floor. I tried to sit up on my hands and knees, but failed falling flat on my face again. “Struggling?” My body was too exhausted to react, but my heart pounded at the sudden voice, scaring the shit out of me. He crouched down beside me, as I lifted my head up. “Yeah a little bit.”

My voice sounded hoarse, and weak. “Damn Roxy, are you really that out of shape?” He chuckled, grabbing my sides, and pulling me straight up off the floor like I weighed nothing. I gasped, and fell against his chest. “Woah, you good?” I nodded, pulling away from him, turning towards the rest of the stairs. “Roxy.” I ignored his call, trying my best to keep going. “Roxy stop.” He grabbed my shoulders, turning me towards him.

He slowly pulled my hood down, his eyes widening in shock. “What the fuck happened?” I dropped my head, looking at our shoes. “Jamie.” My voice came out tired, and broken. He sighed, his hand coming up to cup my cheek. I winced as his thumb ran just under the cigarette burn. “Come on.” Noah bent down, scooping me up and throwing me over his shoulder. I grunted in pain but said nothing, just letting him carry me. There was no use in fighting it. I wouldn’t have made it up here any other way.

When we made it to the top, he closed the door behind us. He picked us a spot, and gently sat me on the ground on my ass. He sat down in front of me, stretching his legs out on either side of me. He was so close, all I could smell was him. It was strangely comforting, seeing as how I don’t even really know him. His fingers landed under my chin, lifting it up towards him. “Talk to me.” I shook my head, with a defeated sigh.

“I woke up late. Didn’t do my chores.” His eyes hardened as he scoffed, looking away. “Fucking unbelievable.” I felt the tears start back up, as sobs wracked my beaten body. He pulled into his chest, and held me while I cried. I’ve never felt so safe. I wanna stay here forever. After a few long minutes, I pulled away, wiping my tears. “Anyways, enough about me. How are you?” He shook his head with a small smile. “The same. Well, except for until I met someone.”

I felt my heart stop. I don’t know why, but the thought of Noah meeting or being with another girl made my stomach turn. Why? I’ve met this dude twice? I forced a small smile anyways. “Really? What’s her name?” Noah grinned, showing off his perfect teeth. “HIS name is Nicholas. We met at some party two weeks ago. He’s a cool dude. I actually consider him my friend.” I felt my face burn red, as my body relaxed. Damn, way to embarrass yourself.

“That’s really good Noah, I’m happy for you. What’s he like?” As he talked about his new friend, I could see a new gleam in his eyes that weren’t there the first night I met him. It made my heart warm. “We are also both really into music. He said he has two other friends that he wanted me to meet. Said we could all play some music together soon.” I tilted my head, as his smile never faltered. “You play?” His aura became much more confident instantly.

“Yeah I play guitar, but I really love writing and making music. Me and my friend Keaton used to do it together…” his eyes turned sad at the mention of his friend. My smile slowly faded. “What happened?” He stared at me for a moment, before speaking. “I suppose it is my turn to tell you my story.” I sat patiently, waiting for him to start. “So Keaton was my best friend. I didn’t have a very good childhood growing up. I quit talking to my parents years ago. He took me away from all of it.”

I nodded, and waited for him to continue, as he stared down at his lap. “He moved me in with him, and took care of me. He was like the big brother I never had. Always getting me out of trouble, the only person who truly understood me.” Noah’s eyes became glassy, and my heart broke for him. “Music is what we bonded over the most. He was so fucking talented dude.” Noah shook his head and sniffed, running his hand down his face.

“Then a year ago, he got really sick. Was in and out of the hospital, until his body just couldn’t handle it anymore.” A silent tear rolled down his cheek, as I fought hard not to wipe it away. “The night we met up here, I had just left his funeral. Found this place, and then met you.” His eyes connected back to mine, as he wore a sad smile. I flung myself forward, ignoring any pain in my body and wrapped my arms around his neck. I hugged him tight, before pulling away.

“I’m so sorry Noah.” He just nodded, keeping quiet. “So when are you going to show me your music?” I smiled, trying to lighten the mood a bit. I hated seeing him so sad. He chuckled, rolling his eyes. “Um like never.”

[songmingisthighs]

Hey ik youre acquaintances with “luvtokki” and I was just wondering if you know how she’s doing ? It’s been a while since she’s updated so if just been worried ;^; hope this doesn’t come off as prying or snoopy :”

yes! we're not just acquaintances, we are the three mingketeers which is a nicer way of saying we're three high strung horny idiots with back pain, debilitating simpiness, and seasonal depression

but yea bunni is super duper busy, super tired, she comes to the gc like a zombie bc she's in uni and she has tons of responsibilities. i'll let her know you guys are missing her but do remember to be understanding and kind to her situation

i'm so glad the person who asked this is being so polite so thank you anon! ^^

@luvt0kki one of your simps is howling for you 👀

[treezxu]

Hai :3 do u have any wacky wild michael hcs

oh do i!

both adult and teen. loser has been on my mind again.

He gets super fucking cold for no reason and blamed it on ghosts until after fnaf 6 where he brought it up as a joke and the ghost kids were like "...none of us did that" and now he's convinced theres a whole extra ghost after him. (it was cc he didnt mean to initially but cassidy thought it was funny)

He talked to the animatronics all the fuckin time. like he just. chatted with them. especially the fnaf 2 ones. charlie had to sit there and watch him talk to actual robots thinking they were kids. they werent and she told him that in fnaf 6 because she found it so fucking funny

clumsy as HELL i know that man was banging his knee in the SL vents and swearing under his breath

teen mike was also clumsy. probably split his lip on concrete all the time as a kid.

he was also the kinda kid to say "nah, check this out!!" and wake up in the hospital

this is a gross one but. he dealt with bugs a lot post scoop (especially. flies. and what comes with them. iykyk). he'd come into work on mondays smelling like a can of bug repellant. you wont believe what he showers with instead of water.

He was williams least favorite but they had a weird relationship between him moving out and elizabeths death. like some days william despised him and michael just wanted to blow them both up with his mind and some days he comes home like "Hey mike whats up want some pizza for dinner tonight?" and michaels like "fuck yeah why not."

he's henrys favorite afton as a teen and he knows it. and he uses it. Henry fuckin loved that kid he had the man wrapped around his finger. William also notices it and he gets mad at henry over it.

in relation to that, henry was really gentle with michael which was. not helpful im sorry 😭

mike sleeps pretty casually. hes not a light sleeper but not a deep sleeper. unless hes tired. if he hasnt been getting enough sleep youll know because he sleeps like a ROCK.

he fucking loves italian food. for no reason. he just does

he unironically eats beans on toast. He tried it as a joke and then just. never stopped.

he still has his foxy mask it just doesnt fit him. he tries it on again and it hurts his head

cannot afford to go out to eat often and GOD does he complain about it. he is SO FUCKING LOUD when he complains about it. he wants his takeout man

Loves animals but they hate him. A crow tried to take a bite out of him post scoop once nad he had to fight for his life. bro saw his family for a moment there

he is so polite most of the time but if you talk to him after his shift he'll fuck you up. rudest bitch on the block and he was an asshole teen so he knows how to run his mouth

he plays solitaire.

does not know about the context but whenever hes depressed he says "tomorrow is another day" because time moves on anyways!!!! also idk i think its neat

he ate shit in the middle of his shift once and bashed his face on one of the counters and his coworker found the blood the next day and managed to start a rumor that someone died there until michael came in to work with his face bandaged up.

these are so rambly but funny so im gonna keep going

skateboards <3 totally tried to show off and ate shit until william told him if he went to the hospital again he'd take the skateboard. he still ate shit. just hid it better.

taught evan to do a lot. If he didnt feel like bullying him (for an array of reasons, but the biggest is just. boredom. or loneliness. or a mix) he'd teach him something just because he could. skipping rocks, flying a kite. michael doesnt remember it very well but evan does

cassidy kicked him in the knee so hard he was limping for an hour and so he found the golden freddy suit and kicked it too at one point. she didnt feel it tho. and jumpscared him out of spite.

he loves dogs and once brought evan to see one because his friends were busy and he hates being alone and the dog bit the shit out of evan. foreshadowing.

oh yeah i totally think he gets lonely btw. do not leave that guy alone he will get very sad and pathetic!!!

im capping myself here because jesus christ.

[nukenai]

Sorry for another huge post but I am having a mental breakdown from overstimulation due to People lately.

Today I tried to have a day to hang out with my family, and I was bombarded with messages by my friend who lives at the care home because she was having an "emergency". Apparently something went wrong with the air stone in her turtle tank and it splashed water everywhere and the water level was low. I already had her messages muted because she was constantly bothering me (to be like "hey what's up"' then go "must be a busy day haha!" when I didn't respond within 45 minutes)

She told me the 24/7 staff in the home are "too lazy" to help her with the water. So I had to leave my sister's house to go fill this woman's turtle's tank with water. She guilted me into it by saying "you said you would help me with ANYTHING" (I told her I would help her if I could. I had spent 20 minutes telling her I couldn't today.) and "I've been in a depressive episode" (she knows I suddenly lost one of my beloved pets a couple days ago). She also has "absolutely no one else" who can help her. Again, I did not volunteer to be her 24/7 on call assistant. She has a house full of staff and apparently hates all of them and thinks they're all lazy and stupid.

So I told her that I would help her, but that I'm done doing it. I'm done being "nice" and bringing her coffee at 7pm because she was "really craving one" and asked me to go out of my way to get one. I've known this woman for like a month and I've already used my Amazon prime for her, adjusted the height of a difficult shelf for her, bought her coffee, ordered her a couple things and not asked for money bc I know she's on a very limited budget, and now lugged multiple tanks of water across a house for her.

And all through this, my coworker texted me. On a Sunday afternoon. saying "hey you were clearly in a bad mood on Friday so I'm just checking on you!!!"

I was in a bad mood because the day before, she was yapping at me all day about the fucking podcasts she listens to, and dropped a paragraph describing child abuse with no warning, and I told her I don't want to hear shit like that. Immediately the next morning she was like "hey checking to see if you're feeling better!", and that was the day after TYCHO DIED SUDDENLY, so I told her I don't want to talk. She said "okay, I'll give you space but I'm here if you need me!" I said okay. Thanks.

And then she bothers me on the weekend to CHECK ON ME.

I'm friendly with her. I like her. But I've told her multiple times "hey I need to focus on work, please stop narrating your tasks to me", and have gone through 14 "damn that's crazy"s a day in response to her "Reddit story" podcast summaries. We went to a reptile expo together and it was super nice! She's cool!

But she talks to me more than anyone else in my life combined. I get 8 straight hours of interaction with her every day. I do not also want texts from you on the weekend "checking on" me if I have told you I need space from socializing. We originally exchanged numbers because it's easier to send pet pictures that way than doing it through the work chat so we don't have to email them or whatever. But now I get pics like every other day of her cats just fucking sitting there and she's like "haha the cats are on the couch!" And on top of everything else I am just so exhausted.

It sounds crazy to be annoyed by people liking and wanting to interact with me. But being asked for constant life and pet updates at like 9am every Monday is starting to make me feel insane. I am tired and burned out, these friendships are starting to feel like fucking CHORES.

For once I just want people to talk to me normally. Not asking me favors, not needing a fucking therapy session, and not to "check on me" multiple times when I have explicitly asked for quiet and space bc this is the 200th message I've received from you in 5 days.

I don't speak to people I've known for 20 years HALF as much as this coworker talks to me. Just because I don't have a family or kids doesn't mean I want every fucking moment of my free time taken up by people texting me and needing me to come to their house multiple times a week to help them with shit.

My free time is not for rent just because you don't have any other fucking friends. That is not my fault or my problem or my responsibility. I'm sorry you have absolutely nothing else going on in your life.

Maybe it's a monkeys paw thing bc I've said "man I wish I was ever a first choice in someone else's life" but this is not someone else putting me first. This is people constantly bothering me despite my wishes bc they have no one else. This is absolutely not what I mean lol. Getting this much shit from a significant other would be overwhelming especially when I've already said LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE.

I've only been regularly talking to this coworker of mine since like, last year. And I've only known this new friend of mine since last month. This shit is crazy and I am exhausted.

I'm not completely insane right??? Like oh my god. I'm so fucking tired and this is just TWO PEOPLE doing this to me.

Luckily, my one friend who refused to engage in actual conversation with me and instead sent me 15+ Instagram reels to watch every single day finally stopped that shit after I told him to stop (for the FOURTH TIME).

Baby steps I guess

TLDR idk how I keep winding up as someone's Only Friend but the entirety of your desire for companionship cannot fall onto one person. Please have more than one person to talk to bc if you don't I guarantee that person is going slightly insane!!!!

The audacity to be like "I'm in a depressive episode which means you should feel bad and help me with something insane" while not even remotely considering the other person may not be doing great even though they're not broadcasting it all over the fucking internet.