#been sorta in a art block ig

[frogintheair]

just enjoying each other's company

[averagetmntfan]

a special thank you to my moots.

(TW: suicidal thoughts, ig?)

ahem- so as I have mentioned, today is my 1 year old this platform! I honestly cant believe it’s been this..long? A lot has happened, too. And honestly for the longest time, it wasn’t going well. Like- at all.

(rant continues under the cut:)

I’m don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. Im doing much better than before, so it’s really not a big deal anymore. I’m just giving some brief context for my 2023- early 2024 school year.

so, I made this blog a couple days before the whole situation went down. Which I think I briefly mentioned on here.

so for a bit, I had felt very uh- isolated in my friend group. I had kinda always been the odd one out. We had different interests. Their sort of fun was hangin’ out, gossiping and what not. And I was into cartoons, and art. I never really told them, though. There were sorta judgy, and I was very insecure. Because they make fun of people. And I didn’t wanna end up by myself.

But anyways- usually, they’d all leave. And tell me to watch their stuff. And since I’m sort of a pushover irl, I didn’t really argue about it. But when I say all of them leave-? I meant all of them. All 4 of em. And it often did upset me.

also they’d talk to people I didn’t even know- which, okay yeah- but I couldn’t talk to them. I didn’t wanna get dirty looks. I’m not a very outgoing person. I like to think I keep to myself often.

So, Halloween comes around. And this stuff doesn’t end. And for a bit more context, one of my friends was getting super annoying by me. And I’m pretty sure she didn’t like me, like- at all. She easily got annoyed at me. And only me.

so she went to the Halloween dance- last block of the day

blah blah skip to after school and I text the group- “where are u guys?” None of them respond. So I search a lil bit, then head outside. Where- guess what? All of them were.

I asked “Why didn’t you answer the text?”

and my friends that gets annoyed at my easily said a snarky “my phone was off.” And was generally just being fucking bitch. And I use to be a big crybaby and stuff- and eventually grew out of it. But this- this sentence really upset me. I stormed off, avoiding all of them.

eventually I got on my bus and- well. Uh. Let my feelings out, if you will. I remember it very cleary, too. It was one of the most tears I had shed in a long time.

I get home, and the girl texts the gc, clamming I stormed off for “no reason” and I had enough. Saying smth “I obviously didnt storm off for no fucking reason”

a bit more of arguing keeps going, and a lot more sobs. It was one of the worst days I had ever had.

a few more days go by, and the situation gets worse. I avoid all of them, and hung out w/ a diff friend. I ranted/vent to her, telling her my friend was a Hippocrate for complaining about our other friends leaving, even tho she did the EXACT same fucking thing.

Which, was talking shit. So that wasn’t great and rlly bad of me. And I guess karma hit hard bc she texted me after school, saying I was talking shit abt her. Bc my friend was friends with her friends. So..awkward..

and really- the next day, it was over. I was free. But at what cost, really? I lost all my friends. Became an outcast, really. It was pathetic, now that I think about it.

for the rest of the year, I rarely spoke to them. And never talked to the other girl.

I spent most my time in the library, reading. And skipping out on eating. I was so unhappy. I don’t wanna say depressed but- very close.

it really made me hate who I was. It made me feel like a terrible person.

And that’s when I really did start using Tumblr more. It was sort of an escape, of mine. And god, I’m so glad I set up and account. I Met do many amazing and unique people one here.

This is sort of corny but, I really think this has helped me through a lot. Since a few months early I lost my privileges to tik tok, and discord. Which, yeah. Sucked.

but so many things had happened-! Joined a rp group, met a new online friend (which we are now very very close<3), found out about a LOT of facts, found other people who shared my interests!

so here we are, one year later.

it was really something. I’ve met so many wonderful people on here, man. Especially my moots. You guys know who you are. I’m not gonna tag you guys, but I’ll do a quick smth smth ig

FIRST OF- my first closest moots-!! Ghosty, cookie, Sleepy, Ally, And my Pooks, Ari. So many awesome things happened with these guys. A lot of funny moments, too. Lmao.

AND ALL MY RAMSHACKLE PEEPS- dew, anomaly, Schnozz, reboot, Bailey, lilac,- you guys are literally AWESOME UGH- I seriously enjoy every interaction I have with you guys. It genuinely makes me so happy

sorry this is super corny and stuff, I really wanted to make something meaningful for this. Thank you guys for being so amazing.<3

— jj

[matd0]

life update ig ??:

hi hi hi hi hi hi hi !!!

ok so

1. i mentioned about having medical issues and some people got concerned so i just want to quickly explain the thing yk; in short it turns out having anxiety can cause heart arrhythmia ????? which can be like kinda dangerous;; but like in most cases it's fairly harmless so i should be alright :] !! still have to go check it out at the hospital (which i have been sorta putting off for a while bc yk. anxiety,, lol) but like other than it stressing me out a bit, everything is relatively fine :]

2. school is kicking my ass rn 💀 have a lot of unfinished work and missed a ton of classes bc my mental health kinda sucks,, so yk it's not exactly going great lol. but uhhhhhhhhhh im sure I'll figure it out ? ig ?? ye.

3. got a small art block. well it's more like "i have so much work to do, how dare i draw at a time like this" (and then just go to sleep bc im soo stressed and overwhelmed about everything 💀) but like. I'll probably get over it soon 🤷

idk i also just feel super obligated to always post super high effort paintings if i have many followers yk? like alot of the time i just feel like my drawings aren't good enough and everyone will like despise me for it;; and idk ig i just need constant approval for everything i do for some reason sjdhjshd. ik it's like. a really inaccurate and terrible way to look at it but i just can't rlly help it;;

uhhh all that to say, i hope it's alright if i post more sketches and unfinished drawings ? ;;

4. i would like to formally apologize for barely responding to literally anything. like. im so sorry dudes;;;;;;; unfortunately i have. very intense social anxiety and literally do not respond to anyone ever. (/srs it's like. a genuine issue in my life. whoops) but like i feel super bad about it bc i don't want to seem like i don't care T_T cuz lik e. i literally read every comment, message, tag, etc. and they always make me so so so happy ;;;;; like i routinely show screencaps of random comment to my friends gush about how nice they are 💀 idk point being; im a loser, i love all of you and it blows my mind that anyone cares about my silly drawings for a p much dead fandom lol.

extra: also i uh made a creepypasta oc 🧍‍♂️might post about him maybe idk im scared it'll be cringe sjhsjsgdhgdhd epic

TLDR; pretty stressed, small art block, school suckz, might die but probably not lol.

(sorry this came off super negative and sort of venty 💀 its all good i swear, im just silly)

[skellagirl]

Fanwork creators self rec! When you get this, reply with your five favorite fics/art/podfics/etc. that you've made, then pass on to others. Let’s spread the self-love 🌼(No pressure if you don't want to though!)Hope you have a good day! ✨

oh, I DO love talking about myself, though this is gonna be kinda weird bc I haven't made a lot of art that I actually like lately lol, and I'm not committed enough to go back super far in my timeline

in no particular order:

1) The extremely self-indulgent Jack/Maddie/Vlad comic I did last year, which was my second most popular post. I had sooo much fun doing it and made myself laugh a lot, idk, it was just such a joy to make and I'm glad other people like it too (I've LOVED reading through the tags on it)

this is my favorite 'panel', I think lol

2) The big memey sketchdump from last year that was my FIRST most popular post lol, OF WHICH this is my favorite doodle.

3) This one I haven't actually posted anywhere yet bc it's still VERY early and I'm not sure I'll ever finish, but I've been fucking around with making a comic out of one of my favorite Stardew oneshots, Practical Demonstration (which is VERY ummm......... citrusy, as one might have said in 2006) and I've actually been kinda sorta enjoying that, despite Art Block From Hell and the fact that I'm Not Good at backgrounds lol

4) idk, I've had a lot of fun doing all my Potion Permit shit! The fandom is small but very funny and friendly, and idk it's just been another thing that's been fun to indulge in while Art Block From Hell continues

5) and speaking of Potion Permit, I've been writing a chemist/matheo enemies-to-lovers longfic called flew like a moth to you (sunlight) that is SO self-indulgent, but I've actually really been liking how it's turning out! It's kinda silly to say, maybe? but I've been proud of my writing with this fic. I think I have an Okay ability to string words into nice-ish-sounding sentences 🥴👌

and since I posted pics for my art, here's one of my favorite bits of the fic's first chapter (also the 'summary' lol)

"Forty years. Raised in the thick of six generations’ worth of collective knowledge, lived tradition, so intimately familiar with medicine and healing that it’s like an additional sense, something woven into the very fibers of him, his entire life’s work -- all of it cast aside in favor of an upstart, fresh-faced chemist whose sole legacy of any significance to Moonbury is one of reckless endangerment and massive ecological collapse. He stares at Myer’s hands, clasped around his wife’s, his child’s. Doesn’t understand what sort of desperation would drive a man to this. Feels a sick twist in his gut at the inconceivability of ever doing the same."

OKAY THAT'S ALL, THANK YOU!!!!

I don't really send these to anyone but like. do it if you want? toot your own horn!!! or spread it to others ig, that works too 👍

[wasteland-stranger]

Just realized I haven't posted in actual days.... Oops. Ive been in a sorta art block? Mostly been playing Minecraft and working on a couple pieces in between. I got a pic of Boone im working on but ... It's definitely not what is to be expected of Boone fan art lol I'm on the coloring portion of it so I should be able to post it relatively soon but I also plan on taking an edible soon so who tf knows lmao. I'm not great at posting on social media which is why I never post here btw. It's the same w insta and twt I just. Don't post. It sucks but I don't have to deal w my social anxiety that way ig 🤷

(btw Ive been getting a number of comments on my art and THANK YALL SM 🥰🥰 I just don't know how to reply to them bc I suck at technology and figuring out how stuff works lol)(feel free to dm me if you want an actual response! Then I don't feel as anxious too) 🖤🖤🖤

[recallback]

New piece time! This isn't quite the same set-up I've been doing for every other portrait piece, and I may decide to do a different actual portrait one, but for now there's nothing wrong with something more... ambitious?

If you're not Mihalis anyway. He's not having a lot of fun with this.

[b00bconnoisseur]

Reaallly long art rant

Lately, the past 4 months or so, ive felt v drained inspirationaly. This is the longest ive ever had art block. So, whenever i finish a drawing i have this satisfaction, this high, it makes me feel so good. That when i felt like i wouldn't finish it, that i didnt have the energy to, i did. I also feel like tumblr is a big part of my block. Dw im not leaving of course lol, im just ranting. But yeah, ive been on here SO much and i hate that i am but i AM. Its like an addiction. Plus all my friendos are on here so i dont just wanna take a leave.

Another big part of my block is sorta myself? My personality ig u could say. And what i mean by that is i can never say no to anyone. It makes me feel terrible. The thing i can never say no to is art requests. I get them so much from my extended family. And thats another part of the block, family.

Theyre always askin me to draw stuff when im like "er not rn....im uh on this *points down at paper* rn. Maybe next time..?" Thays my attempts at saying no. But noooo of course my cousins are like "no no no just draw me rn ok u can do that drawing some other time ive been begging u to draw me forever!" BOTH of my cousins are always bugging me nonstop to draw them. I hate it just leave me the fuck alone i just finally got to another drawing and u won't even let me finish it go fuck off. But i of course dont say that. I start immediately on one cousins sketch while he watches me (tjis was on ny's) Now im doing the other ones sketch rn. Only because his birthday is today and this is his gift. Also because when we go to see them today, and i dont have it done he'll make me feel horrible. And since i dont have my other cousins sketch done he'll do the same. (I dont have the ref photo so i cant finish it. My bro has it and refuses to send it to me.) Another thing is they cant respect how i do my art and my art style. They want all the art i draw in realistic color whereas i only do traditional b&w shadding. And my other extended family is always trying to get me to draw them live. Like, they pose and i draw them. I CAN'T do that. It takes me HOURS to draw. Plus ik they'll be like hurry up! And get tired after 2 mins. Plus idk, thats awkward for me. Id rather just have a pic. Boom. Simple. But THEY wont understand that.

Theres alot more that theyve done but I'll stop there.

And sometimes im in a way putting this block on myself? I hold these free giveaway stuff then i ask ppl if they'd like a request or i accept requests or an art trade or i say im gonna draw this for somepne for this holiday or smtn. I do it for fun and it makes ppl happy. And idm doing it. But it builds up. More. And more. And more. To the point where im feeling v v v overwhelmed with stuff im supposed to draw for ppl. And i get v behind on everything. And i cant even enjoy when i finally finish a drawing. Im like welp, im v late on all these, onto the next. Its not a good feeling. And sometimes whenever im like "i do so many drawings for OTHER ppl, i need to do one for MYSELF like i used to" so i try. But then i have no idea what to draw. And then all i can think of is what im supposed to be drawing for other ppl. Then it makes me feel like im being selfish by trying to draw for myself. To try to distract myself i go on tumblr. But then im just procrastinating. And i usually just end up not drawing anything. But when i do its just requests or stuff for other ppl. And i feel i dont upload art much anymore on tumblr so i feel the need to get something out there. And when i do it doesnt get too much notice. So i feel more deflated. Just a repeating cycle. Over. And over and over.

And since its for other ppl i feel i gotta make it perfect.

I just wish i drew as much as i used to without a care. I wish i COULD do that. But im in a huge mess and the only way to get out of it is to finish all the drawings. Then start fresh. It feels I'll never get to that tho.

Alot of the time i just think about giving up on art. Alot. Cause its not so enjoyable anymore as it used to.

I wont tho cause it IS what makes me the most happy in the world. Im mesmerized by it. Its what i want to do when im older. I dont wanna throw all that away. Without it id be basically nothing

For now, I'll sort thru (try to anyway) the mess i got myself into and try to kill the damn block. And try to draw for myself sometimes too.

Thanks for coming to my ted.....rant? Talk? Idek anymore.

But hey, if u read all that, props to u bro.

Sorry for getting all art depressy on main..

[chrisbangs]

1-5 and 20-25 :-) sorry for all of them hehehe — 🖤 also i’m getting off work I WILL SEND U ANOTHER ASK HEHEHEH

oaiwenfoia you’re sooo c*te perhaps i’ll d*e………. hm………… anyway;; thank you angel (sorry it took me so long to do this ;; ___ ;;)

also this got mad long so i’ll put it under a cut! 

1. how did you get into graphics / gif making?

i was an early ‘the vamps’ and ‘5sos’ fan and because of that, i used to make lil graphic type things?? i guess?? like i tried to make stuff like the ones i saw online omg… and mine were soooo bad but it was like so fun and i used to use this online editor and it was trash but like i would have so much fun… (and that was back when i was in grade 7-ish..? so i would’ve been like jfjfiwaoefo 12/13) and then i just kept doing it;; eventually in grade 10 i took a graphic design course and i got a hold of photoshop and it blew my mind and from there i just kept kinda… doing it?? 

and with gifs omg… ok i swore i would never make gifs cause it looks SO complicated like bitch ill kill u what do u mean layers to frames wtf !!!!!!!!!!!! and then when i was in my first year of uni in around june i was like… omg i wanna try again… cause i’d tried it before and my ps just crashed… so i was like let me give this another go.. and i did… and it worked.. and my mind was like blown omg… i was in AWE… omg i just realized its been a whole year since i learned how to gif stop ill die 

gfx/gif questions

2. do you do something creative/related “irl” as well?

well!! i just got into college for graphic deisgn hehe;; so i’m hoping that that’ll be my future :’) 

3. who/what inspires your graphics / gifs?

hm, well!! whenever i see really great pieces of gfx or even in real life when i see a magazine piece or a billboard that just looks stunning i feel inspired!! and i’m like eugh i wanna try making smth like that ;; also music and movies and games inspire me sometimes?? but if i was to say who!! then it’d probably be all my amazing content creating mutuals!!! their work is always wowing!! i always tag ppls gfx with ‘gfx inspo’ bc im genuine :0 when i see it ;; ___ ;; like how is everyone so creative and talented;; 

4. what do you enjoy about making graphics / gifs?

oh wow, mm… it allows me to be creative? and put to use skills that i think aren’t always appreciated? like my p*rents never take me doing graphic design seriously;; but then recently my mom wanted me to make a lil label for her for a friend’s garden and i did and she was like !!!!!! so happy abt it i was like TT TT cause both my parents were finally like ok i get it sorta;; i really like that i’m able to make smth kinda outta nothing?? like art is really interesting bc you get to let your thoughts and experiences affect the outcome of your work so?? like.. i like that everyone has a different style?? 

and for gifs;; i really enjoy that its such a structured task like… its very.. orderly and routine based?? like i know what i’m doing everytime?? and the places where i get to change it up are like the colourings and the style of set i make and that makes it fun and creative too;; 

5. what do you dislike most about making graphics / gifs?

mm the creativity block;; i feel like sometimes i cannot think of ANYTHING to make and those days i feel kinda useless as a cc…… it sucks but foiawnefiawn eventually i’ll figure smth out if i move things around enough fajwefowaeo 

and giffing omg…… idk… probably the colouring process…… but thats majorly because my laptop’s screen displays colours kinda whack from how they actually look and so i have to do 2x the work to make sure it looks good and smdays its like idc anymore just post the set and pull the trigger 

20. your favourite fandom(s) to make graphics / gifs for?

for gfx it’s definitely stray kids!!! they have some of the most fun lyrics to work with and their concepts always always inspire me like crazy!!! 

for gifs its the tmg fandom! everyone in that fandom is suuuper nice and supportive and like;; even if i’m not always making gifs i dont feel like i’m falling behind or ? like ppl will be mad or smth ? like its a safe small community and bc of that it feels so good ;;; 

21. how much time do you spend on a single graphic / gif?

very dependent! gfx can take from like an hour to like a week+?? it just depends on how intense and intricate it is ig;; 

gifs are shorter;; probably take me a few hours?? the longest a set has taken me is maybe like 6 hours but that’s bc i was being slow about it and trying to find all the necessary parts! but on average itll take abt half an hour to maybe two for one set

21. what is your biggest improvement since you started making graphics and or gifs?

ogoaiweniogaw stop this is so funny.. i wanna go find my old wattpad covers so you can all cringe with me but… mm, with gfx i guess i learned what my Aesthetic™ was and what i really liked and like fjjfaiosdksfd i learned how to use photoshop which is a big thing lmaoooo……… and with gifs!! definitely my quality (shout out to vapoursynth) and my colouring :’) 

23. what is your biggest improvement in the past month?

hm… time management jfaiweoofiaw i’ve definitely gotten wayyy faster at giffing and i really do not take as much time anymore;; which gives me some peace of mind lmao 

24. what is something that you’re wanting to learn right now?

illustrator! i’ve been fooling around with it a lot recently;; and even one of the pieces i submitted in my portfolio was smth i made on illustrator heh;; but theres a huge learning curve (like btich what is the pen tool ill kill u) fnaoiefiownf so i wanna get lots better with it ;; 

25. what would you like to see others learn how to do?

this is an interesting question;; mm i guess everyone is different?? so idk if i can answer this question cause i think everyone’s style requires them to learn in their own ways?? so idrk ;; i guess something to make certain people’s lives easier would be like LEARN KEYBOARD SHORTCUTS !!! that shit saaaves my life like idk man it cuts down on my time for sure;; 

[tackycute]

Selfie spam? (Sfw or nsfw, whichever you’d like)

I don’t have any new pictures tbh anon. I rarely take any of myself, but once my phone isn’t dead I’ll post some pictures of other stuff I have taken recently. Mostly the sky and my plants.

Speaking of which your question reminded me of a current internal debate I’ve been having about whether I should get an Instagram; Mostly just so I have a place to post plants since I feel my Tumblr doesn’t get enough plant-interested individuals and my Snapchat (the normal place I do) I hardly ever use to the point it seems redundant to post to my story.

** I extremely dislike even having a Snapchat and would delete it if some of my friends didn’t primarily contact me on it. Side note, if interested in my Snapchat it’s tackycute- no dick/explicit pics or you will be blocked.

This debate has been one I’ve more so had in the past few months because it would give me practice with online marketing once I get deeper into my progression of my small business (oh yeah btw that’s legit and I don’t talk about it because I want to officially say stuff about it at once I have more stability with it). So of course, as a future small business owner I need to learn how to online market and more importantly become comfortable with putting things I deem sacred online. Something I struggle very deeply with. For brief example, I just never take pictures and don’t have much I’d want to contribute to the public/followers/outside world. As you can tell from my Tumblr blog, there’s a bit of personality but most of the personality I’ve presented about myself is through the work of other’s through their art. Shocker, art is very important to me and so it’s somewhat led me to these conclusions coupled with my comparison of my personality/thoughts to seemingly my peers’: My art is sorta sacred to me, my face is not my favorite all the time, and my life is not filled with adventure or enough adventure to pretend that it does to post online. What in my life that’s worth posting is my plants, wild plants, and maybe other people’s art and pieces of literature/poetry/music. My conclusion at the end of most of my internal debates regarding this topic is, I don’t know if only plants and other’s art really is enough to justify going through the hassle of having and maintaining an IG account.

Ya know I think many can say having a nice, aesthetically pleasing, and satisfying Instagram or social media platform is a lot to manage. And to be fairly honest, if I can’t make something I deem important perfect (nice/aesthetically pleasing and satisfying) than I don’t want the disappointment I’d feel for thinking my social media account or self is a failure. It’s a bit dumb, but how one presents themselves online matters as much as it does for most because that’s literally you. No matter how photoshopped, cut into bits and pieces, or hidden you are on your social media that still is you at the end of the day and it will still effect your self concept. I know I get overwhelmed by media’s influence on my self concept and I know it has contributed to my feelings of inadequacy, so why would I further expose myself to that? I go back and forth if the pros really outweigh the cons, and on most days it doesn’t for me. Thus, me still not having an IG. 

OR 

Maybe I’m just overly weird about social media platforms, but I do like my seclusion and privacy. Sometimes I find it strange how much I currently post of myself, and then I find it so much stranger how much more open other people my age seem to be about social media platforms. Like it’s okay, no judgment, sometimes I feel incredibly distant from my peers regarding it and it’s really an annoying conflict. I’d probably be more open to social media if my privacy wasn’t being invaded by the state and my not so favorite peers, but that’s unlikely to ever happen. There’s business in being in my business, and most of that business is not designed to be for my better well being. So again, why would I engage further in that? It leads to again the beginning of this where my main pro purpose for getting a Instagram would to be to promote my business through posts about art, nature, and positivity. 

Btw I’m sure this is not the response you were expecting, but if any of you take the time to read this and would like to give me your thoughts about your take on my internal conflict please do. Should I stay [without a IG] or should I go [and make a IG]? 

Ps- The link to “Should I Stay Or Should I Go?” by The Clash song since I made the joke– https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7r0iuoj-KNU

[mibuchis]

thanks for tagging me @gaytaiga <3333

1. why did you choose your url?

because i fucking love reo! like, rlly fucking love them, and have done for like ages now :3

2. any side blogs?

yeah, @bubblegumf4iry is sorta like a personal blog? except i sorta exaggerate myself a bit haha. i have other blogs but they're all inactive now.

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

i’ve kinda lurked since abt 2015 but i made my first blog in 2016

4. do you have a queue tag?

i had one briefly but i don’t rlly see the point in queuing stuff. if i wanna post i will and if i don’t then i won’t lol

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

the first blog i started just to look at art but then ended up posting my own stuff. i had this one as an rp blog but changed it back in 2018 bc i realised i hated rp’ing lol. i just fully moved here even there was no reason to lol

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

i love reo, i’m enby, and i bc reo as enby! idk it just felt right for my ig

7. why did you choose your header?

i just liked the picture. i like taking pictures of my random stuff lol. i thought it looked nice

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

uhh i think it might be the midotaka one which was abt midorima’s $500 lucky item, or the one abt 100 gecs and ayesha erotica. idk, it’s usually my most half assed posts that gain attention

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i don’t know specifically how many, but quite a few! i don’t interact with ppl much bc i get quite nervous online. i also don’t follow many ppl since too many posts on my dash is quite overwhelming for me lol

10. how many followers do you have?

204, somehow lol. ily guys tho <333

11. how many people do you follow?

about 100 but i’d say around 50% are inactive lol. i only follow dead ones which i like the stuff and want to remember how to find it haha

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

basically my whole blog lol. i chat the most amount of shit haha

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

depends. i used to use it like, all the time, but i don’t have the app anymore so i don’t get as much of a chance. maybe twice a day? sometimes 3 times

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

yeah, a whole ass adult woman picked a fight with me because i said that fetishising gay men was bad and i was misogynistic for disagreeing with her. this was on one of my old side blogs which had abt 7 followers and she was arguing with me to a bigger audience who then started to attack me lol. she dm’d me and apologised for the ppl attacking me but i literally hate using that blog now out of fear of being harassed :/

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

i think a lot of them guilt trip ppl but don’t actually do anything. i will rb if it’s educational or has links for petitions or charity donations, but don’t expect me to rb something that’s like “rb if you’re against ___. if you don’t i’m blocking you.” i think those are stupid lol

16. do you like tag games?

omg yes! i love them but don’t always get the time to do them so if i ever forget abt one i promise i’m not being rude i’m just busy

17. do you like ask games?

yeah lol i love them lol. i love writing stuff down no matter what it’s about. i don’t rb ask games much but i wanna do more

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

none? like idk what qualifies someone as tumblr famous but i don’t think anyone i’m mutuals with is too popular lol

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

@cryoai 😍😍. (jk dude. ily tho <3)

still nervous abt tagging ppl in stuff so if u see this and wanna do it, go ahead!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

Primes :)

oh tsym! an #Ally

Do you drink tea or coffee? How do you take it? 

i do! uhh with tea like, sweet tea + lemon or better yet Lemonade is great... i like green tea, and fruity teas like raspberry especially or the like, and i’ve had mint too and i think it’s great....i always like to sweeten it....with honey if there’s any. also i usually drink it hot b/c that’s just like, the easiest. iced sweet tea / lemon/ade is great but like, what a hassle waiting for it to get cold, right? 

re: coffee, i haven’t had nearly as much experience drinking it as with tea, so like......well hang on, i’d go to the Coffee On The Corner (now called something else which i forget) place a couple blocks from my college campus b/c of otherwise being lonely and being like “oh god can i be around other people for a while,” and i’d get mochas there, and sometimes add raspberry to that. usually i go for something like that, or once i had like, a lavender frappucino or something at the best place to get donuts in the world (sugar shack) and it kinda fucked. i’ve at least sampled iced coffee and thought it was great, i get what everyone’s on about. anyways i Usually just have like, plain hot coffee, though that’s not exactly a preference lmao.....and i sweeten it and add creamer because like, i love myself and like to enjoy things.

What was the last song you listened to?

i was listening to wrol performances most recently while washing dishes......i remember teenage dirtbag, That amphibian, and flesh & bone being among the ones i was listening to towards the end

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

sorta, there’s this ostensibly-a-fox really soft like throw pillow guy that’s not even mine but i’ll lie against it sometimes

What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with?

i usually sleep with this one really solid blanket i got from target, or if it’s cold i’ll add the faux-down comforter i also got from target. s/o to the person who recommended its ikea equivalent that time i was sleeping in real cold temps and like “please recommend me blankets” b/c that one is Very insular and like, it’s always Enough when i add it to the other blanket when it’s too cold for just the one. cuz like, i guess ideally i’d like to sleep with as few as possible But i want to be warm enough. also, i’d probably enjoy a weighted blanket. i’ve never really had one but i like heavy blankets and am Pressure Friendly. and then plus there’s this thing i do ever since this one semester at college where i’ll lie something over the whole top half of my head while i sleep like to cover my eyes, and it’s weird trying to sleep without that ever now. rn i use a bathrobe. so that’s kind of another Ideal requirement ig??

What color are your eyes?

blue

Fears?

the idea of global catastrophic climate change literally haunts my dreams......when i think of “certain health issues that could happen” i am like guess i’d die..........i fear prison in that well i know i could endure it like, ha ha what else is new (some aspects would be new) but it’s the “being cut off from the outside world which is where everyone who knows me is” part where i’m like, well i’d really really rather not have to go through that.......i have some like not-quite-phobias which are sort of manageable if i really really have to deal with it, and also possibly have a long time to steel myself........though i guess i’m sort of nervous about heights Always. it’s yknow, like, uh, most of my Fears are more of “i really Dread this”. oh and i find some other stuff like, not quite “i have a phobia” but intensely perturbing. i do not like very large mechanical things, for example, that operate automatically. like very large engine-type stuff. possibly because it is a very large and loud moving object, or because a machine can kill you easily without knowing. maybe in a past life i was a child in an industrial society pre-child-labor-laws reform. hope not! not my fave way to go! also even though i like swimming, sometimes Thoughts About Pools make me nervous. flowave perturbs me, for example, b/c i can’t help thinking of how bad it would be to be in that water with all these moving mechanical parts generating large waves. also there’s some large like art installation that’s this large Eternal Circling Drain Into Vague Stygian Depths which disturbs me for similar reasons. anyways we’re getting kinda elaborate here but. oh!! same as prison basically but if i can’t be in touch with the outside world it’s like haha........aha....a.....

Want any piercings? Where?

at one point i was like “i kinda like fun earrings, maybe it’d be fun to be able to wear them” but lbr now im like ugh the whole getting a new piercing process is such a hassle and i would probably end up never / hardly ever wearing earrings anyhow, what’s the point. so i guess No

Do you have a best friend? How long have you been friends?

soph is my best friend u_u we started talking last november so, going on about eleven months. our Innovation within that time frame.....our minds........also can you believe soph Just got to see deh? that was a historic occasion and i hope everyone fully appreciates that

Do you believe in aliens?

you know what they say: the only two possibilities are that we are the only Life in existence or we are not, and either is extraordinary! :o but like really if this universe is one of infinite, limitless space, and/or there are parallel or alternate universes, then like...other life totally exists, since when you’re dealing with Infinity stars and planets and such, and there’s a nonzero chance that other planets could have developed life (which there is), that means that there Would be life on other planets. infinite planets, really. but it’s neat that when you’re dealing with the observable universe and the range of what we can estimate based on what we Know so far....there’s still a decent chance it really Could be just us rn. and the scale of Time and Space are so wild that it’s like, easily true that we might as well be functionally alone whether it’s because we’re too far apart in space or b/c our “time during which life exists” doesn’t overlap, much less the surely briefer time range in which life capable of communication exists...drake equation time.........but also like if it’s all “oh yeah contact’s been / will be made” i wouldn’t be shocked like wow thought that was impossible. life from other planets is just like, statistics and shit. and the scientifically-informed answer to that math is still “shruggg”....but why Should we be literally unique in all of existence. and if they exist or not has nothing to do with my belief either way so it’s not that important to me that i decide

Does it take you a long time to make decisions? 

pretty much lol i am very passive. though if i feel like i’m left to my own devices Truly? i can sort of be impulsive

What are you looking forward to in the distant future?

well i Could say season 5 of billions, since tbh “early-ish 2020″ counts as the distant future and it seems extremely likely it will give us more winston content, but you really can’t say you ever “look forward” to billions. it’s cursed and like, can give you brief and shining moments and some kind of neat elements, but like. it really overall brings Dread and Repulsion and Agony and etc and we’re in hell!!!!! but uhh beyond that i have nothing concrete lmfao rip

Do you prefer dogs or cats?

well i really like cats but i like dogs too

What’s your favorite cartoon? 

idk atla really did all That didn’t it

Do you have siblings? How many?

two! i’m in the middle

Have you memorized your phone number?

well every time i’ve had a phone number i’ve had it memorized lmao