#been schemeing for hours ✌️

[ded-inside-anonymous]

OH MY GOSH NO WONDER PEOPLE ARE AFRAID OF COLORS-- THEY'RE CALLED COLOR SCHEMES

[technically-a-kiwi]

Cosmic AU written story 1: a bad surprise

Above our world and compression,

In a realm beyond space and time, beyond the mortal eye

is a being, wearing the attire of a chef and harboring the colors of the cosmos.

The entity watches over what looks like a star field, an endless sea of worlds, all alone in a room that stretches as far as the eye can see.

He sighs, thinking to himself "how long have I been staring into the void like that? I should have gone back to making pizza by now..."

"Yeah your shift ended like 10 hours ago Italian man ! "

Out of nowhere, another being, wearing the clothes resembling one of a TV host, glimmering in the brightest of ways, behind him is a cape, shifting in the way a flame would, and to complete his look, a thousand dollars smile shinning as bright as the sun, hinting toward his mischievous schemes.

The chef entity jumps, completely startled, and screams

A scream so loud one could hear him from miles away, a scream so loud it could outstage one of an explosion. And with his scream, his body shinned a blinding light, indicating how panicked he is.

The chef entity stops, manages to calm down. Now that he's finally put together, his expression of fear slowly shifts into rage, furiousness that is contained, as to prevent another spectacle of cacophony.

"Noise, per l'amor di Dio, DON'T SNEAK UP ON ME WHEN SO MANY UNIVERSES ARE AROUND ME !" The chef yells in anger

"Can't sneak up on you in your pizzeria, can't sneak up on you in the city, can't sneak up on you in the void. You're being quite picky here Peppino..." The host entity says with rolling eyes

A manic smile grows on the chef, he grabs the host by the collar" I'll make it easier for you then ! Don't sneak up on me, EVER, capeesh ?"

"Oh you're no fun" answers the host.

The chef lets go, and goes back to his own thoughts

The host leaves, not before doing a very rude gesture in the chefs back

"I saw that" says the chef

"Great! I won't have to do it again then!" Says the host, in a taunting, sarcastic tone. He finally leaves the place

The chef sighs in exasperation " I'll forever curse the day I was forced to work with that banana smiled looking creep..."

The End

Hi guys! Kiwi speaking 🥝. As you can see this story was told through text only, after seeing lemonade-pop 's work I got really inspired to try something similar of my own ! Don't worry tho I promise the main arcs of the AU will have some art in their posts ! It will be like a story book where the text is accompanied by a slideshow :D, because due to current events it is absolutely unthinkable to make a complete webcomic serie with the Cosmic AU. But hey I promise those stories will be of quality ✨. Let me know if you like this approach, see ya ✌️.

[preparetobedissapointed]

Hey<3 can you write a malleus from twisted wonderland fic where yuu asks him if they could decorate his horns with pink holographic glitter<3 I think I’d be so cute because then yuu would be like, “it’ll make you more approachable and so cute!”🥺🌸✌️ please and thank you<3 can be she/her or gender neutral pronouns:))

I genuinely love this so much.

You hadn’t slept well that night, and finally decided to just leave Ramshackle, in favor of walking outside. It had been a trying week with the combination of Grim, and Crowley.

Ramshackle had charm according to Crowley, so why not add more? You quietly tip toe back into Ramshackle, and grab your craft supplies, fully intending to surprise Crowley with a bright pink door.

He’d looooove that, but your plotting is disrupted by a quiet voice , “Child of man?”

Your eyes trail over to find Malleus. You’d known of his identity for a while, after the fiasco with RSA. You wave, grinning at him. “Hey! What’s up? Want to help me paint the door?” You ask, and his brows furrow in evident confusion.

“Why are you painting the door? Is there something wrong with it?” He asks, and you grin.

“I’m just giving it a little bit of charm, you know? For the Headmaster.” You say, and he grins.

“Ah, I see. Allow me, then.” He says, and grabs a bucket of your incredibly bright pink paint.

“Wait, one second!” You say, grabbing a bit of glitter. “What do you think? Too much charm?” You ask, gesturing to the glitter.

Malleus smiles, mischievously. “I think it’s the perfect amount. However, I admit. I am curious. How long will your renovations last? A pink door is one thing, but will I go on an evening stroll to find the entire of Ramshackle painted pink?” He asks, a small smile on his face.

You sigh in mock disappointment, “Alas, I have no magic nor the motivation for such a grand scheme.��� You respond and he nods, equally “disappointed.”

You spend the next hour painting the door, which turns out to be quite difficult. Ramshackle dorm has fallen into disrepair in some areas, and the door is covered in splinters.

You gnaw at your finger, trying to get a particularly stubborn one out.

Malleus startles you by taking hold of your hand, and pulling it out with ease.

“Huh?! How’d you do that? It was so quick, too!” You exclaim, shocked, and he laughs.

“I am one of the best mages.” He says, and he’s right.

He’s not being cocky or arrogant. He is one of the best mages out there. It still surprises you, sometimes, as he is genuinely one of your closest friends. It’s easy to forget he’s one of this world’s best magic users.

Malleus’s expression darkens, “Ah, yes. It does make me fairly unapproachable.” He says, and you break out of your thoughts.

“No! I mean, I don’t think so! I think others would be lucky to be your friend, but if you really think so…I have an idea?” You say, your eyes flitting to the little bit of sparkly paint left in the bottom of the bucket.

You were shameless, but you really just wanted to touch his horns, and they’d look so cute pink!

Malleus looks at you, curiously. “Very well, Child of Man. What is your idea?” He asks, and you grin.

“I want to give your horns some more personality! They’re gorgeous, and of course since you’re magic it wouldn’t last, but…If I painted them pink like the door…Maybe, people would be realize you’re not as unapproachable as you seem?” You try, hopefully.

“How do they know it wasn’t me who painted my horns?” He asks, his lips titling upward.

“Ah! You’re right! I really wanted to paint them, too!” You say, sighing in disappointment.

He laughs, “Another plot, foiled. However, all you needed to do was ask, Child of Man. You are correct that my magic would be rid if this paint in an instant, so I see no issue with you painting my horns.” He says, and you grin.

You grip his horns, lightly. Malleus’s hair has always been incredibly soft, and it tickles your hands as you work around it.

After thirty minutes or so, Malleus is rocking a pair of pink, sparkly horns.

You can’t help the goody grin that breaks out on your face.

He’s really the absolute best.

[sharkface-daydreams]

happy Lopez de Mayo I've been thinking about how Yellow Church and Lopez would be buddies bc Yurch doesn't care enough to keep up the charade that he can't understand Lopez and honestly? Lopez is a fucking riot, he's a cool dude. So they hang out sometimes, Lopez needs a bro ✌️

--

"Hey, man," Leland says, poking his head into Red Team's garage. "You got a #0 screwdriver?"

"[Blue Team is not allowed to borrow my tools. I don't even let Red Team borrow my tools.]"

Leland grins at the snark. "Yeah they don't seem like the handy sort that won't just break 'em. Um, I just need a screw tightened. Do you... mind doing it for me since you can't let me borrow anything?" Lopez stares at him, flabbergasted.

"[You understand me?]"

Leland blinks. "Well, yeah, dude. Android body," he says, pointing to himself. "It's got automatic translation."

"[...Interesting.]"

"So uh, are you allowed to fix an enemy team member? I woulda just let it go but Tucker kept nagging me to get it fixed, and Tex said she doesn't trust any of us morons with her tools, so…" He shrugs helplessly.

Lopez waves him over, finds the right kind of screwdriver, and takes a look at Leland's mechanical elbow. Easy fix, he nudges a segment back into place and tightens the screw back in place. Leland flexes the joint a few times.

"Good as new, huh? Thanks, man."

"[Hrmph.]" Lopez turns back to his own work, flustered that someone's being decent to him for once.

"Oh right. I'll uh, I'll get out of your hair. Uh. Helmet?" Lopez turns to stare at him. "Yeah, I'll just go."

This Church had never stolen his body or gotten him dismembered or blown up and had actually been decent to him … perhaps this one did not need to be hated.

[Few weeks later]

"[... and so I programmed them to move exactly as slowly as necessary to ensure that victory happened over precisely 24 hours.]"

Leland breaks into laughter. "That's fuckin' hysterical, dude. I bet he was pissed."

"[He was enraged, but that is also his usual state.]" Lopez would have smiled to himself if he'd had a fancy face like the blue team robots had. He hadn't gotten to tell this story to anyone who would understand him, much less someone who would appreciate it.

"And you did all this as nothing but a head, huh? That's pretty impressive."

As with most good things in this godforsaken canyon, it's short-lived. They both look up at the sound of a shotgun being cocked. Sarge glares down the sights at the dirty Blue investing their hallowed garage.

"You there! Yellow! With your dastardly blue stripe," he growls. Leland sighs and hops off his crate. That's his cue to go if he doesn't want a body full of buckshot. "Comin' back in here trying to sabotage our robots and vehicles! I thought I told you to stay out!"

"Yeah, well, you're not my leader, and Lopez said it's fine, so." Leland waves at Lopez on his way towards the door. "Hang in there, Lopez."

Lopez waves back, and he sighs deeply because he can practically hear Sarge's heart breaking and the pieces falling onto the floor.

"Lopez," Sarge says, sounding on the verge of tears. "Say it ain't so?"

"[Even if I said exactly that, you still wouldn't understand me. Besides, he has never broken my tools or messed with my projects. He is the safest person to have in here. Even you are a nightmare to work with, you senile old man. You still have not repaired our band saw from that last harebrained scheme.]"

Sarge sniffles. "Aw, Lopez, I knew you were a loyal soul!"

Lopez just goes back to the engine he's rebuilding. Why does he bother?

"But you know the rules. Next time that dirty blue shows up, you gotta chase him out! Preferably with a shotgun. Or a chain gun! Red Base is for Reds only!"

"[Yes, sir,]" Lopez deadpanned, knowing full well this whole scene will continue to play out over and over.