#been on a gamecube kick lately

[savingthegeneration]

"She turned into stone one year ago and has been that way since."

Harvest Moon: Magical Melody (2006) - dev. Marvelous Interactive

[caelyne]

school school school. this month has been quite busy for me. lots of work. to be expected though! writing a thesis paper is no joke... i couldve definitely started it sooner though. there was just a lot.. anxiety? over starting it, for some reason. but it's making good progress! i think!

im moving soon too. out of state. away from where i grew up. probably forever! it's scary. scary in the way that my life will be different. different world, different people. though i guess i mostly live online.. so that won't be too different at least.

ive been thinking about my dad lately. i don't have the best relationship with him. we dont hate each other, and i think he'd be happy to see me more. but i have.. trouble wanting to feel the same way. when my parents separated, i took the sudden change really rough. for both my mom and dad, i had trouble adjusting to how things were gonna be. i remember being so angry. got into so much trouble for being so angry. trouble as in like, ooo bad cat meow meow no gamecube for a week, nothing serious.

other stuff happened with my dad as time went on. i remember him taking me to get my long hair cut short as punishment. i was later told this was really bad of him, and that it made total sense for me to be Extremely Upset. i kinda had to hide it though, i told people at school i just Felt like it. felt embarrassing to admit that this was a punishment. i don't think he knew how to deal with me tbh. i think he probably tried his best and maybe was misguided or something. idk.

its stuff like that that makes me anxious about telling him I'm moving away. possibly forever. i haven't spoken to him in years. i don't think he knows what I'm doing these days.

is that ok? it doesnt feel ok. it makes me feel bad. but I'm scared to do anything else but kick this rock down the road as time crawls forward. he has a daughter now too, a half sister that i haven't seen in years. i think she was like. 6? or something last i was visiting. i don't even remember how long ago that was. its scary. time is scary. and yet it goes. and goes.

school school school. school school school. meow.

[allaboardthevespa]

Ellie Headcanons!

I love she. I've been thinking about her a lot lately so I've decided to share some HCs. Both recent ones and ones I've been kicking around in the past.

Her full name is Elinor Madison Hayden.

She grew up on a farm, as I stated before. Her father is the farm's owner, while her mother is an animal carer. Ellie grew up among nature and animals and thus has a strong admiration for them, just like Gabby. Her family in general is utterly chaotic, but they love her and she loves them just as much.

Her mother named her for the titular character of Elinor Wonders Why - a show Ellie grew a strong love for growing up. Bluey is also a family favorite.

Her favorite food is pumpkin pie, especially when baked by her uncle.

She owns a lot of stuffed animals. Not quite as many as her girlfriend but still a respectable amount. Especially bunnies!

She's a very big pop-punk fan. Some of her favorite artists include Boys Like Girls, The Maine, Dashboard Confessional, Yellowcard and All-American Rejects. Her all-time favorite song is, as I mentioned before, "Only One" by Yellowcard. She's also someone who regularly listens to different pop-punk albums every day and thus she's had a lot of wonderful experiences hearing new songs and bands. In particular, "A Twist in My Story" by Secondhand Serenade is one album that had her in tears.

She happens to be an amazing singer, too. (wishing so bad we could have a DC musical season)

Though, she's not particularly a great dancer...she often needs Gabby to help her out lol. But with Gabby's guidance, the girlfriends have shared some amazing slow dances in nature.

Autumn and spring are her favorite seasons. Autumn for the general coziness, warm lattes, orange leaves and happy vibes. Spring because she loves when it starts to warm up again after winter, and also she loves the smell of spring flowers so much. Getting to know Gabby has her loving spring even more - seeing Gabby's energy whenever spring starts is always adorable to her!

I've already mentioned that Ellie's favorite flowers are peonies and lavender (if you count that as a flower lol) but she also loves roses, gardenias, lilies of the valley, hyacinths just like Gabby, jasmine and lilacs. ...Okay she loves most flowers lol. In general, flowers have always been something Ellie has loved. Whenever her jobs were stressing her out, Ellie finds some time to spend admiring flowers, and it calms her down. Gabby has taken notice of her girlfriend's love of flowers and thus uses floral-scented products to wash both herself and the girls' belongings, and Ellie finds it so utterly heavenly.

Ellie's interest in fashion sprouted when she caught some My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic on television as a young girl and really admired Rarity's eye for fashion. Her father also has an old friend who is in fashion school.

At school, Ellie made a couple friends, but was also picked on a lot for her looks and being too much of a "girly girl" for her fashion interest and love of flowers.

Ellie realized she was bisexual not long after joining high school, where she started crushing on two different people - a quarterback boy, and a girl on the soccer team. Her family accepted her the very nanosecond she confessed.

She ended up asking both suitors out, but neither went all that well. While the quarterback let her down gently, the soccer player rejected her pretty brutally, pushing her onto the crowd and calling her nasty names. Ellie didn't ask anyone out again for a while after that. Falling deeply for Gabby truly changed her life.

In spite of her enjoyment of fashion and beauty stuff, Ellie generally doesn't use make-up. It's not her style...and she's pretty allergic to lots of make-up products anyway.

She gives AMAZING hugs. (Might as well be canon)

Her dad has an old Gamecube which Ellie plays a ton, often with Gabby and a couple of their other friends outside DC. Her favorite game for the system is Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door. You can bet she turned into a squealing little ball of joy when the remake is announced, and now she has a Switch on pre-order!

As a kid she made friends with one of the pigs on her family farm, a girl named Amelia, and spent time every day going to see her and play with her. She loved that pig dearly. Sadly, Amelia ended up passing away not long after she returned from season 1, devastating Ellie. Luckily she did have Gabby as her shoulder to cry on in those tough times.

In general, being with Gabby has helped brighten Ellie up considerably in her daily life. Sure she's pretty cutthroat when it comes to high-stakes reality TV shows like Disventure Camp, but when she's not in a competition, she's a sweet and tender soul. Her family in general is grateful to Gabby for bringing so much happiness out of their little girl. 💖

I've probably forgotten some but whatever, these are just a few of the ones I have.

Yet again I depict Ellie as a soft cinnamon roll I need professional help

[gaysheep]

Touching is Good: A Retrospective

My trusty Nintendo 3DS, which has held out since I was gifted it for my 15th birthday, has turned one decade old with my 25th birthday this past November. Given new life with custom firmware and nds-bootstrap via TWiLightMenu, the 3DS is stellar for visiting any past handheld title or console title up to (and somewhat including) the N64. (Quick plug for the CFW/hacking community for the less popular PS Vita, too, which has accomplished some pretty crazy-cool stuff this last year.) I use my 3DS more often than I use my Nintendo Switch most weeks.

The Nintendo DS (minus the three) launched in late 2004. The second display and stylus support were novel tools for developers to experiment with, and the NDS is best remembered for its robust catalogue of RPGs and visual novels. Where it lacked in power, narrative-focused games flourished under its technical limitations.

That being said, while browsing the ROM archives on Vimm's Lair to pick up some titles, I was reminded of what an interesting era the mid-to-late 2000s were for games. While Sony and Microsoft were fighting over the "core gamer" demographic, who had outgrown Nintendo mascots, Nintendo led a series of wildly successful marketing campaigns for its hardware after the light failure of the Gamecube, where the Nintendo DS and then the Wii were targeted at...everyone else.

[Image source. Image description in alt text.]

If you look at ads for the DS and the Wii, you'll see that adults are featured much more prominently than children, especially women and seniors. (This did not go unnoticed, as I found this ancient relic of misogyny while looking for images for this post.) A Nintendo handheld was already an easy sell to parents with small children (though I think it's also notable that ads which do focus on children often prominently feature girls. Munchlax is pretty hot...), but Nintendo's angle for the DS and Wii was that their hardware wasn't just for children. The Wii was a way to get up off the couch and to play board games with grandma. The DS was a great gadget for a working woman to keep in her pocketbook.

This worked. The Wii and DS were two of the best-selling consoles of all time. In particular, the DS's marketing campaign only worked because it came out in the perfect window of time. PDA-phone hybrids had been around since the 90s, and the Blackberry had been kicking around for a few years, but the iPhone wouldn't be introduced until 2007, and the 4G LTE standard wouldn't be released until 2009. While the Blackberry was popular with businesspeople and the PDA was out of style, smartphones were luxury toys for several years; they wouldn't become near-ubiquious until the mid-2010s. I didn't get my own smartphone until probably around the same time I got my 3DS, a full handheld generation later.

Browsing the software library for the Nintendo DS and DSi with that in mind is really interesting. Many titles released for the platform serve the same purposes that would be fulfilled by simple smartphone apps less than a decade later: planners and diaries, fitness trackers, calculators, language learning and SAT prep software, even a guide to the then-most-recent version of the driver's test in the UK. These proliferated with the release of the DSi's virtual store, but they existed even with the base model. You could go to a brick-and-mortar store and buy them on physical cartridges. (You might be wondering, "Why would you bother carrying those around over just buying a Blackberry?" You can't underestimate how expensive the service bills for a smartphone were before companies realized they were the most powerful spyware tool in history.)

There was never a time where every single businesswoman in New York carried a DS Lite, but adults did buy and use them, and a not insignificant portion of the DS's software library is aimed at a casual adult audience. Another niche covered mostly by smartphone games these days—games designed to be picked up and played in short sessions on-the-go, in places like waiting rooms and subway commutes.

Nintendo made crazy bank in the seventh console generation. Publications of the time talked about a console war between Sony, Microsoft, and Nintendo, but the real battle was between the PS3 and the Xbox 360 over the gamer demographic. Nintendo was producing hardware for a niche who would quietly disappear once smartphone sales began ballooning by hundreds of millions per year over the course of the early 2010s.

After the failure of the Wii U, Nintendo's marketing strategy pivoted again, though I doubt they'll ever completely abandon their family-friendly image. Currently beat out only by the PS2 and the DS, the Nintendo Switch may very well climb to a status as the best-selling console of all time before the end of its lifespan, but the "gamer" demographic is much bigger than it was two decades ago at the dawn of the DS. As more and more devices become consolidated into the Swiss army knife the smartphone has become, consoles can only carve out a role as dedicated gaming machines.

I'm not sure we'll ever see anything like the Nintendo DS or the Wii again. I think they're worth looking back on for their uniqueness in that way as much as they are for the more celebrated parts of their libraries.

[gunnrblze]

Thinking about writing teen Kick fanfic and I got very vivid ideas for the vibe but I am like so shit at outlining the plot and detailing it to late 90s-2000s tech cuz I was in the desert sand during that time

And since I love your aesthetics with the ghost boys, what do you think about;

Teen Kick:

owns a camcorder, takes it nearly everywhere he goes outside and enjoys making vlogs on tapes, mostly consisting of abandoned place explorations and attempts of paranormal activity caught on camera. (Marble hornets and analog horror inspired)

Obsessed with cryptids and critters, might not actually believe they're real but thinks they're such neat concepts and they're fun to talk about.

↑explains why he found himself exploring the woods and forestry around his mid-late teens

fascinated by weird sightings and loves recording shit to show off and ramble about to his friends, just passionate about his interests

Owns a flip phone or whatever good old fashioned cellphone during that time, would try to invite his friends over to go cryptid hunting, alien watching, or explorations w/ him

I'm stumped cuz I have a few stuff thatll be purely HCs like:

Nickname for him in his teenhood if Kick was his military callsign

Headcanon about which part of America he's from to pinpoint location and setting of the drabble

Tf happened in 90-2000s

Could you help me please🙏🙏 need headcanons<33 a lot of them

Ahh I love this idea! This all sounds so accurate for a fic like this. Teen Kick that takes a camcorder everywhere sounds so on brand, I can definitely see him having that ‘let’s go to this haunted/abandoned house…what do you mean why? Cause it’s fun’ energy lol. Alien/ghost hunting and cryptid sightings seem right up his funky alley.

As for his name/location, that can be difficult since you can literally make up anything you want lmao. But I like to hc him as being from somewhere around northeast USA that starts to teeter into the south, think Pennsylvania/New Jersey/West Virginia/etc. That would also explain his cryptid/alien/ghost loving behavior since there’s a lot of sightings and happenings in those areas. He gives me slight city kid vibes, but lived enough near the outskirts of whatever town to have been doing a bunch of rural exploring.

Since it’s implied that he’s a tech specialist for the Ghosts, I hc that growing up during the rise of technology was very influential in his career choices, and he probably spent a lot of time with stuff like this. I definitely see him with the camcorder here, and maybe a flip phone right around the turn of the century/early 00’s when they became popular. Probably spent a lot of time on some old clunky ass computer setup lol, gets flashbacks from the dial up internet sound like a true 90s kid. I think as tech kept advancing, he was always right on that shit, or at least he kept up with it.

Just some tidbits, but similar to Ghost/Simon Riley in the comics/‘09 Modern Warfare, I like to think maybe seeing 9/11 take place inspired his reasons to join whatever branch of the military he joined, seeing that as a teen would’ve def been very surreal, especially if he lived around that area. He also gives me big nerd vibes, was into all the sci-fi stuff around that time&prob played a lot of video games, had like a GameCube console or something lol.

Hope some of this helps! I love this fic idea and I hope you write it! <3

[hollysoda]

On a bit of a tier list kick and realised “goddamn I’ve played a lot of different Mario Kart games recently” so decided to rank them :D

Notes below:

Idc what anyone says Mario Kart 8 Deluxe is the most fun I’ve had playing any of these. “But it’s so much easier” “but the booster course is just a cash grab” I don’t care!! I enjoy it!! There so many tracks to choose from and all of their soundtracks are so goddamn good!! Plus the booster course is slowly improving the character roster which is amazing!! I know it’s the old “new=good” thing but this time it’s true I’m sorry

On the other hand, Mario Kart Wii. I’m nostalgic I’m sorry but can you really blame me when this game literally ruled my childhood from ages 5-10? So many cool and iconic nitro tracks and the best character roster in the whole series. I’d love to play it again if my wii remotes weren’t broken

Okay so I didn’t remember all that much about Mario Kart DS. I knew I had it when I was a kid but other than a few courses I had mostly forgotten about the game, but I bought it second hand the other day and omg. This game slaps. It’s so fucking fun and I can’t believe I forgot about it. Straight to top A tier

Mario Kart 7 is also probably a nostalgia based pick tbh but it was the game that actually made me play Mario Kart properly. I learned to drift in MK7 and overall appreciated the competitive side of the series a lot more. Also it has my all time favourite track, Melody Motorway :) (or Music Park for Americans)

Honestly the only reason I enjoyed Mario Kart 64 as much as I did was because it’s so fucking chaotic and brutal to the point where it’s funny. Drifted too far? Approached the jump awkwardly? Oops you’re now facing backwards and in last place! Some of the courses are ridiculously long *cough* Rainbow Road which lowers it

Probably a bit controversial but I do enjoy Tour. I haven’t played in over a year but late 2021 - mid 2022 I played it to DEATH because one of my irls got me back into it and coincidentally this was a pretty rough period in my life, so I do owe it one for keeping me stable. Kinda sucked that they got rid of the gatcha feature though :(

Mario Kart Super Circuit is really tricky for me but I really like the graphics. That’s probably it’s only saving grace lmao. Maybe I just find the GBA era of pixel graphics to be endearing idk. It has the same level of brutality as N64 but nowhere near as fun

I have played the arcade game a few times in amusements and it is fun :) that’s it. I don’t play it enough to actually have a proper opinion.

Og Mario Kart is very annoying and the tracks and boring. If I see their asses as a retro track I am not happy >:(

Never owned a Wii U so I never played the og Mario Kart 8 but all I know is that MK8D vastly improved on a lot of its flaws over the years so ultimately it is just better. Also I desperately want to play Double Dash (please add GameCube games to the switch Nintendo holy shit) and I would rank it high because all the tracks that have been turned into retro tracks are so so fun.

[ithisatanytime]

Vanilla Ice - Ice Ice Baby (Official Music Video)

 people are talking about the new mario movie, and ive only got a couple things to say about it which means novel length post incoming, hopefully i can keep it brief though. peach is a masculinized woman, its fucking obvious, there is a three minute webm of her karate kicking and carrying on, not surprising, im a little surprised by the people defending it though. thats what happens when you grow up in globohomo, if its not a depiction of literal child rape than its based for young fat men. they use the fact that she was a “playable” character in super mariio 2 to justify this or to claim that if you say mario is “woke” (bad euphemism for JEWED) then it must have been woke since SMB2, but they are ignoring possibly the most well known little known piece of mario trivia in existence, super mario 2 is a complete reskin of a different game, doki doki panic, whos characters were reskinned as familiar mario characters because japanese developers felt the ACTUAL mario two would be too difficult for western audiences at the time, and in the actual mario 2 shes just a fucking princess waiting to be rescued. i dont fucking care about mario, or mario movies, if you stuck by nintendo after the release of the gamecube you were destined for hellfire and homosexuality any way, what i really want to point out is the role of a princess, what the fuck is a princess anyway? why are they such a popular plot device? there are obvious answers to this, they immediately provide character motivation being among the strongest, but what i want to focus on is how princesses appeared in games pretty much up until the late nineties particular in nintedo franchises, lets talk about zelda. she, almost EXACTLY like princess peach doesnt really show up in the early games save for the very end, her sprite is your reward for completing the game, her appearance is special, just being there, wow, i feel accomplished, thats what a princess is for! thats what they do! thats their power, lets look at ocarina of times depiction of princess zelda, things were ALREADY getting bad, with the introduction of “sheik” who is princess zelda in heavy disguise, face concealed and even then she just kinda shows up and teaches you bolero of fire lmao, but notice there is no sheik unmasking? she transforms directly into the princess, you could say this was to save money on a new model and thats probably partly true, but PRINCESS zelda shows up at the end of the game to lead you threw a collapsing castle protected by magic, this is so important to note because they easily could have had her in sheik form karate kicking boulders and blowing up doors but they chose not to, because the sheik character is only compelling to closet cases, literally no one else cared. what im getting at here, is that princesses in videogames and stories had PRESENCE, and thats the source of their power, not brute strength or whatever, princesses like women are valuable because of what they are not what they do, and they more they do the more devalued they are in the eyes of everyone. im not talking about women being forced to have masculine role models and take on masculine roles, thats ass and ive spoken on that quite a bit, what im pointing out is the erasure of femininity thats made the princess archetype a meaningless relic. its about the nature of girl power, what is girl power? is it just boy power when utilized by a woman? and in that case, what is a woman?

[thebeastofblackmoor]

Drew Crew video game headcanons

Nancy:

Nancy got a Wii for Christmas when she was young, which she loved and played regularly until she started getting into mystery solving. She still played the occasional Mario Kart with her family (she and Kate kicked ass while Carson is one of those parents who will never understand how to work a controller and ends up driving backwards half the time) but as she got more and more cases and became more popular, she just had less and less free time on her hands.

One day, she came home from a case to find her parents going ham on Just Dance, karaoke mode and all, and she acted like it was the cringeiest thing she’d ever seen. Truthfully, she thought it was cute that they were having so much fun together.

When her mother died, she left behind a ton of high scores on Just Dance and Mario Kart. The household eventually graduated to a Switch, but when the Drew Crew starts coming over a lot and they play on the Wii, Nancy inwardly hopes no one will ever break her mom’s high scores.

When Ryan comes to stay, he brings all his next-gen consoles and a whole library of games. Nancy isn’t interested in most of them (they’re usually really violent), but she often finds herself watching him playing late at night or over breakfast (she doesn’t ask if he got up early or if he’s been up all night). He’s very animated in his gameplay, and he and Nancy get fiercely competitive when he joins her in Mario Kart.

George:

The Fans never had that much disposable income for fun things, and game consoles are expensive, but that didn’t stop George’s sisters from begging for a Wii or an Xbox or a PlayStation at every birthday or Christmas. One day, George found a GameCube at a garage sale, reasonably priced (and in black, which George appreciated), and brought it home with a handful of cheap games. It was an old system even then, but her sisters were overjoyed.

It did not lead to the kind of wholesome family bonding time George was secretly hoping it might. Even years later, they are incapable of playing Mario Party 7 or Mario Kart without breaking into screaming matches or actual fistfights. They taught all their Animal Crossing villagers swear words and always make a point to sabotage each others’ homes. When they all play games at Nancy’s house, all hell breaks loose, but George still manages to be the most bloodthirsty. When they play Mario Kart, she’s going to get that trophy. And she doesn’t care if she puts Bess on the verge of tears in the process.

That damn GameCube probably did more harm than good in the Fan household, and George has almost sold it to pay the bills more times than she can count, but she can never bring herself to do it.

Nick

Nick was never super into video games. He always preferred going out and playing sports, and his mother never let him get a game console anyway, thinking video games might make him violent. But in Florida, he would sometimes hang out in his friends’ basements and play sports games like Madden, with the occasional Halo or GTA thrown in for good measure.

Casual hangouts like that are one of the things he didn’t realize he was missing until he starts hanging with the Drew Crew again. He loves seeing everyone go crazy over them and he’s proud of George’s mad skills.

When he becomes a part of the Fan family, he’s overwhelmed by her sisters’ insane playstyle. They show him no mercy in any game, of course, and the sisters unabashedly gang up on him every single time. He takes this as an opportunity to prove himself and decides he has to step up his game.

He’s still waiting for the day he actually beat them in anything (even after they ease up on him once they start accepting him), but when he does, it will be glorious.

Bess

Bess never had any video games in her early childhood, but when she became a con artist, she acquired (see: stole) a 3DS with New Leaf. She spent a lot of time riding in the car as she and Stephen went from city to city, and there were a lot of lonely nights in motel rooms that the little game made a lot more bright. She had it for almost two years and built the town into something really lovely when one night, Stephen broke it in a fit of rage.

She played some video games with the children she au pairs for in New Hampshire, and later plays with the Drew Crew at Nancy’s, but she’s not very good and she hasn’t had her own game system since the 3DS. For her birthday one year, Ace and Nancy go in on a Switch for her and she can finally play Animal Crossing again. She doesn’t get all the same villagers she used to have, but she chooses her new ones very carefully and treasures them all.

They are never allowed to leave, no matter how many times they ask.

Ace

Ace is a PC gamer, of course. In high school, he built his own gaming computer and spent a lot of time in the next few years playing first person shooters. Since he didn’t have any siblings or a lot friends, he liked to socialize using online multiplayer games. He gets harassed by trolls a lot, because he’s really good at it, and he made a habit out of hacking trolls out of their accounts when once his computer skills advanced to the illegal.

When he gets real life friends, only gets online late at night when he can’t sleep, but he’s less bothered by what random people have to say.

His favorite game, is Portal 2. He’s earned every trophy and knows the solution to every level by heart, but it still brings him comfort.

[no-sabo]

Been kinda’ on an OG Xbox kick lately. I picked up a system from some Canadian seller that did all the refurbishing work including the removal of the clock capacitor that’s notorious for leaking and killing machines. They do other stuff like clean the fan, replace the DVD drive belt and re-paste the heatsink. The only work I did was replace the worn off thumbsticks for the controller that it came with.

It’s a fun system to collect for since the stuff that’s at least meaningful to me is on the cheap side. I didn’t have a Gamecube or a PS2 during that era and I feel for folks who wanna’ go back to those systems these days. Those prices, especially Gamecube games, are truly wild.

I’m out here finding all the first party stuff for like ten bucks a pop. Third party stuff is also cheaper on Xbox and usually looks better there.

Component cables can be expensive. I found someone on EBay who is making their own using the more plentiful Xbox 360 cables. I copped one and it works flawlessly.

[darker-soft-starker]

Starker High School AU, Pt 3 (Pt 1, Pt 2, Pt 4, Pt 5)

-----

There were two things in life that Peter was unequivocally certain were true.

Number one was that Monday mornings were a universally despised, unpleasant experience that no weekend could ever ease the pain of having to endure.

And number two: Sit-ups were a specific and profound mechanism of torture that no person should ever be required to engage in, recreationally or mandated.

Of course, it would be just his luck that the two were combined on this very Monday morning.

It was cruel and unusual is what it was, Peter thought, hands curled at his temples as he pushes himself into a sitting position, falling back onto the dewy grass with a thud that steals the breath from his chest.

Bucky, holding his ankles, encourages him to complete his set.

“I can’t,” Peter gasps, his stomach trembling as he pulls himself up again. “I - oh fuck - I hate this. I hate exercise.”

Bucky squeezes his ankles tighter. “C’mon, Parker, only three more. You can do it.”

Peter shakes his head, even as he pulls himself up again with a pained groan.

“No, I can’t. Make it stop.”

“Two more. You got it. Sit-ups are not the boss of you.”

“Yes - ahh - they are!”

“One more!”

Sweat pours down his neck and his muscles protest as he pulls himself up for the last time. He gets probably only most of the way up before his gravity slams to the ground.

Bucky slaps his bare calf encouragingly as Peter stares up into the glaring morning sun, arms splayed out, his chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath. Oh, god. Never again. That was the worst. 

Covering his eyes with his quivering arms he wonders if maybe coach will indulge him just this once. Maybe he can stay here until training is over, perhaps curl up into a ball and try to blend in with the grass so that no one sees him or subjects him to any more exercise. 

Except Coach Danvers is already yelling at him to get off the ground and get moving.

He smacks his hands over his ears but it’s no use.

“Get up Parker, last warning!”

“Respite!” He yells back pleadingly, curling in tighter upon himself. “Please!”

Her whistle pierces the air.

“Now!”

Coach has been on edge all morning. Her harsh has turned razor edged in the face of their upcoming match against Kingston this Thursday, reminding the team of her expectations, tolerating nothing other than complete dedication.

Which, whatever.

Peter’s dedicated, okay? It’s Monday. He dragged his ass out of bed to be here at an unholy hour, exhausted and bloated from his indulgent weekend, didn’t he?

Erring on the margin of spite towards Danvers and self motivation, which he suspects is her aim, he pushes himself back up. Taking each of Bucky’s ankles in his grip, he starts counting as Bucky begins his set. 

Not that he needs the assistance, Bucky proves his strength by ripping through the set like a bull stampeding through a brick wall. He doesn’t even break a sweat. Dude’s crazy athletic.

It’s really not fair.

As he mentally counts the reps, Peter thinks Bucky’s the kind of fit that Peter both hoped and never hoped to be. He’s effortlessly capable at any physical task, but he works hard for it, harder than Peter would ever dream of working, dedicating hours to gym time and conditioning. Bucky’s not even out of breath when he strikes up conversation. 

“How was your weekend, PP?”

“S’okay. Played Mario Kart with my Aunt all weekend.”

Bucky grins as his upper half rises to meet his knees. “Oh, party animal. She doing okay?”

“Yeah, she’s good,” Peter grins wryly, taking one of his hands from the other’s ankle to push the sweat-damp hair from his eyes. “Kicked my ass though. She always takes Toad.”

“Switch?”

“Nah, GameCube. How was your weekend?”

“Boring. Parents were home all weekend and wanted some ‘family time’.”

“So, you just watched The Voice all weekend?”

“Yup.”

“Nat sneak in after?”

“Yup. How’d it go with Stark on Friday?” Bucky accepts Peter’s hand as he finishes his set. Peter pulls him up and pats him on the back.

The set off in a jog to complete a lap of the field, Coach yells that only five minutes are left, urging them to pick up speed. Peter’s lungs burn when he speaks.

“It was fine.”

Bucky looks at him dubiously, flyaways whipping at his face.

“Well not like, fine-fine, but no bloodshed. See? All limbs intact.” He holds his arms out mid-sprint. 

“Wow, so you’re basically best friends now.”

“No.”

“Did you hold hands and braid each other’s hair?”

Incensed, Peter shoves at Bucky to the sound of his snickering,

“Ew, stop, I just had breakfast. Look, the first experience was painful enough. Can we move on? I really don’t want to talk about it.”

---

“And then he hit on my Aunt,” Peter complains in the showers, soaping up his chest. “Literally right in front of me. Who does that?”

“Did she flirt back?” Bucky asks, dipping his head into the spray. 

“What? No. He said he was just trying to get under my skin,” he puts his head beneath his own shower head, the water pleasantly lukewarm against his heated skin. “I mean, what kind of psychopath does that?”

“Yeah, but your aunt is super hot though,” Wilson says to his right. “Stark’s an asshole, but he’s not crazy.”

There is a general murmur of agreement around the showers. 

“I’m going to need you all to shut up right now,” Peter warns, turning to point at them all. “Keep my aunts name out of your mouth while you’re washing your balls, alright?”

“You heard him, move on,” Rogers cuts in, offering Peter a sympathetic smile. 

He nods gratefully as conversation quickly turns to girls, grades and the upcoming Thanksgiving holidays. There was a reason why Peter was on Roger’s side all these weeks ago, he thinks, observing how the entire team respects his command without query. The guy was just interested in doing the right thing, and that’s pretty cool.

By the time they’re all dried and dressed, the topic is forgotten, much to Peter’s relief. He’s nearly late to first period though, too busy watching Wilson and Barnes smack each other with wet towels and attempting to tame his unruly curls into something resembling neatness. He’s not proud of the amount of gel it takes, but it’s what he’s got to work with. 

It’s not that he’s obsessed with his appearance or anything, but he has a routine that he sticks to. Gel and lots of it.

Once, in third grade, Flash pulled one of Peter’s tightly coiled ringlet between his fingers, pulled on it and said oink. Peter still had some lingering baby fat at the time and so, as cruel as children can be, Peter was donned Piggy Parker for a time afterwards. Sometimes Porky Parker. They’re friends now, but the oinking and snuffling that followed him around the playground still haunts him.

Anyway.

On the way to first period Rogers walks alongside him down the hall. They have English together, but usually make their way separately. It kind of weirded Peter out for a moment because while they’re team-mates, they’re not really friends. 

“Heard you got paired with Stark for an assignment,” the other boy says, his wry smile caught between amused and sympathetic. “That’s shit luck, Parker.” 

“You’re telling me,” Peter agrees, waving to Ned and Betty as they pass. “Dude’s a freakin’ prick.”

Rogers bumps their shoulders together.

“You said it. Want me to have a word with him, get him to back off?”

“Nah,” Peter shakes his head. “I can handle Stark, he’s just some bored rich kid looking for a fight. Besides,” he gives Rogers a once-over, “pretty sure you’re supposed to keep your distance after your last brawl with him.”

“True,” he concedes, clamping Peter’s shoulder and giving it a squeeze as they stop before their room. “But we’re a team, alright? Just say the word and I’ll encourage some sense into him. Promise to be gentle.”

Peter clamps his hands over his heart with a flair of drama, despite being truly touched. “You’re my hero, Captain Rogers.”

Rogers rolls his eyes and shoves him into the classroom.

“Alright, smartass. Let’s go.”

Inside, he smiles sheepishly at Mrs Perez who glowers at them for their lateness and takes his usual seat between Clint and Shuri. He signs a good morning to the former and smiles at the latter, who is staring down at her desk with disdain.

“What’s wrong?” He nudges her chair with his foot to grab her attention.

“The curriculum.” She raises her head and points to the board miserably. It reads Lord of the Flies.

Oh, great. He could use the nap.

Peter smiles sympathetically, opening his nearly full notebook up to a blank page. “How was your weekend?”

“Meh.”

“Meh?”

“Mmm,” She nods, gesturing airily. “You know, eh. Oh, oh! I heard you spent the weekend getting cosy with Stark,” Shuri follows, pretending to search through their textbook. “Wow, that’s a three-sixty, PP. Didn’t know you had it in you.”

“What?” Peter hisses, voice lowering when their teacher looks around as roll-call commences. “That’s not -- ”

“Parker!” Perez yells for roll call.

“Present!”

Shuri snickers as Peter’s hand shoots up.

Lucky for him it’s the last he hears of it.

Kinda.

---

His next class is Bio with MJ who, thankfully, says very little through class. She inspects him with bleary eyes when he enters, nursing a coffee in her hands, always earlier than Peter who has to come from the other side of the school.

Peter’s grateful for the reprieve. When she does speak to him, it’s to borrow a pen or to offer him a sip of her coffee. It’s not a lab class today, only note-taking and listening to their teacher drone on about plant anatomy in the same monotone, so he accepts the bitter black coffee without hesitation.

It’s only then that he ventures to initiate conversation.

“So,” he begins precariously, doodling in his notebook, “how was your weekend?”

She shrugs, appearing more awake than earlier. “It was okay. You?”

“It was okay.”

And that was that, he’s relieved to note, companionable silence falling between again as they turn their attention to their teacher again. It’s not until they’re packing up their books at the end of class that MJ speaks to him again.

“See you at lunch?”

“Yeah, dude. Save us a table?”

“You bet. Oh, and by the way, I heard Stark is gonna be your new step-daddy. Congrats.”

Peter groans.

“How do you -- you know what, no,” he says, pulling his backpack over his shoulders and making a x with his arms. “Nope. No more talking about Stark, he is persona non grata. I’m traumatised enough.”

MJ pushes his glasses up after they slipped precariously down his nose during his declaration. “You’re so dramatic, dude.”

He bumps their shoulders together on the way out of the room and shakes his head.

“Why do people keep saying that?”

---

Ned texts him during recess; Peter is taking an extended break in the bathroom despite not needing to be there, but he’s definitely not hiding, nope. He’s just chilling in the cubicle.

< heard stark spent the weekend < lol wtf < plz verify < actually i don’t want to know < no wait i do tell me < dude

< hello?

----

Traitors, all of them.

He wonders if he should leave this school and start anew elsewhere.

---

Here’s the thing.

As much as Peter loves his friends, he has limits to how long he can spend with them before needing a time out.

They’re his motley crew of village idiots. Some he’s known since first grade, like Ned and Flash, others only since he came to the school and subsequently, the football team.

This school headhunted him because of his academic merit. With his pursuit of scholastic excellence - and the fact that some of his best friends would be attending the school, he applied for and was awarded a scholarship. It was a no-brainer - he had big dreams and even bigger expectations of himself to achieve them and he wanted May to be proud of him.

Which was why when it was suggested that he try out for JV, having exhibited some physicality during gym class, he decided to give it a try. It would look great to have on his applications, he was assured.

So he did. Somehow his wiry frame and years of gymnastics was considered an asset and he was promptly recruited by Coach Danvers. At first he deeply regretted the additional commitment -- the early hours, the soreness, adapting to the internal culture within the team. But he’s persevered and he’s glad that he did. 

And for the most part, he copes okay. He can juggle football obligations and after-school activities and the odd tutoring jobs here and there and stay sane, right?

Sort of.

Because as grateful as he was for his broad circle of friends, Peter was still, at heart, an introvert. And right now, his social energy is running on fumes. 

It’s because of this - and nothing to do with the relentless questions about Stark - that Peter retreats to the library at lunch that day. 

Nestled away in the dusty, back corner, near the collection of old encyclopaedias that nobody reads, are an assortment of bean bags. It’s away from the main area, quiet and disregarded by most. It used to be a thriving recreational area way before Peter’s time, but there wasn’t any maintenance to it over the years. Now the bags are old, terribly lumpy and are speckled with suspicious stains, the fabric is thinning and aged. Most people purposefully avoid the old rec area, which is why Peter likes this spot best. It’s his secret hiding space.

He prepares to disassociate for the next forty minutes by getting comfortable on his favorite bean bag and popping his earphones in. 

Next, he retrieves his slightly soggy ham-tomato sandwich from his bag and takes a large bite after unwrapping it. The first burst of tomato hits his tongue at the same time as the music begins. 

Ah, to be alone.

Closing his eyes, he allows his body to sink into the bag and for his thoughts to wander freely.

Of course, because his luck is as poor as he is, his seclusion lasts all of three songs before someone else enters into his space. Well it’s not his space, technically, but it should be. 

When Peter creaks an eye open to see who is intruding he’s surprised to see Thor perched on the bean-chair opposite him. They catch each others stare and smile.

Well, alone time is overrated. 

Maybe his luck isn’t down the drain after all - because this is his opportunity to prove he isn’t a total fumbling loser. He doesn’t know which deity he pleased to be alone in a quiet corner of the library with Thor, but someone up there is clearly looking out for him.

He wants to say something, to strike up a conversation that might make Peter seem cool and only casually interested - something that would make him sound both smart and like, available.

But not too available. 

With little success, Peter wracks his brain for the best opening line but frets because he’s ever been cool or collected a day in his life. And great, now he’s just been sitting there smiling for like two whole minutes like an absolute weirdo. Come on, Parker, say something! 

Thor acts well before Peter has the chance to say anything, pointing at him, his mouth moving with words Peter can’t hear. 

Realising a moment too late that his earphones are still playing music from his phone, Peter hurries to tug them out if his ears, smacking himself in the face in the .

“Sorry, I was --” Peter gestures to his ears, hands shaking, cheeks going hot. God, Thor is talking to him. Him! Peter Parker! “Sorry. What did you say?”

“I said I like your shirt!” Thor replies, way more loudly than what would normally be socially acceptable for a library, but Peter does not care. Thor likes his shirt.

“This?” He asks, gesturing downwards to his shirt where crumbs are dusted at the collar. “You like Nirvana?”

“I do not know Nirvana,” Thor smiles, “but it looks very cool. Peter, right?”

“Uh yeah,” he nods, face positively flaming because again, he knows Peter’s name. Quickly sweeping the crumbs from his shirt, he extends his hand out to the older boy who shakes his hand. Holy shit. Be cool. “I’m Parker -- I mean, Peter. Yes. Nice to be here. I mean, nice to be speaking. To you.”

Even as Peter’s arm is roughly jostled with Thor’s exuberant hand-shaking embarrassment crawls up his neck, and he wants to disintegrate into the bean bag where no one has to witness his persistent, glaring awkwardness. Palms sweating, Peter has to bite his lip to stop himself from commenting on how big Thor’s hands are.

Stop it, he scolds himself, be normal, play it cool.

“Thor, right?” Peter asks, as if he didn’t doodle their initials together in his notebooks. “You were at training last week.”

“Yes, you fell on your face,” Thor nods, gesturing to the yellowed bruising on his jaw, “I saw.”

“Oh, okay, so you saw that! Uhh -- ” Peter waves a hand at his face, laughing nervously. “This? It’s nothing. I’m totally fine.”

“You are clumsy,” Thor states, not unkindly.

“Well, no -- I mean, yes --” Peter tries to come up with an explanation, but falls short. “I’m not always a klutz, promise. Just sometimes.”

“Happens to the best of us. Well, not myself, but you know, generally speaking. In any case, I’m happy to see you’re okay.” 

Thor unzips his backpack then and from within it retrieves a truly gargantuan protein shake, followed by a sub wrapped in foil so large it could be the same size as Peter’s forearm. Sneaking a look down at the remainder of his own lunch, his pickings look pretty slim in comparison. 

“Sorry,” Thor says. “Just peckish for a snack.”

Peter watches, dazed, as the older boy consumes half his sub in a single bite, washing it down with several mouthfuls of his shake.

A snack.

“You’re fine. Anyway, football isn’t really my forte,” he admits after a moment, drawing his knees up. “I mean, I’m okay at it and I like it, but it’s not really what I’m best at, y’know?”

The blond boy nods, “I’m on the varsity team,” he proclaims, wiping his mouth. “Whatever that means.”

His accent is so thick it takes Peter half a moment to figure out what it was that he said. 

He’s not sure if Thor is being serious or not but the one question Peter has is why is he so fucking cute? 

A silence follows, albeit not an awkward one. It gives Peter the opportunity to inspect the older boy, nearly a man at his height and stature, of course helped along by the generous distribution of facial hair across his lower face. 

“Uh, did you play football back at home?” Peter asks, keen to keep conversation going. “Soccer?”

“Oh yes,” the boy nods. “Soccer, tennis, volleyball. Water polo. Badminton.”

“Wow,” Peter blinks, “that’s a lot of sport. You’re like the whole Olympics here.”

He’s awarded with a lazy grin for that comment. Thor, to his credit, doesn’t appear to be boastful about his physicality, seemingly a result of his passions instead of a product of vanity.

“Close enough, I suppose. What else do you play, besides football?”

“Uhh --”

Oh god. How is he supposed to respond to that when the idea of doing additional sports outside of football is abhorrent? He can’t tell Thor that. Surely he can fake a common interest. Think of something, Parker, think, think.

The first bell rings, saving him from having to provide a potentially humiliating answer, seeing as all how all that could think of was chess, or PC. Both of which are true and accurate, but not exactly something he thinks that would make him appear more attractive or endearing.

Thank god for fifth period.

“To be continued?” Peter asks as he picks up his backpack, just a little hopeful.

There’s an awkward bit of shuffling as they rush to get off the sagging bean chairs, moment filled with odd squeaks of polystyrene as they attempt to stand.

Thor nods and to Peter’s surprise, doesn’t immediately rush to get away from him. There’s an awkward bit of shuffling as they rush to get off the sagging bean chairs with, odd squeaks of polystyrene as they stand. Instead, he accompanies Peter all the way out of the library, walking alongside him into the main hallway where a flurry of students are intersecting to get to their next class, walking alongside him.

Heads turn to watch them as they depart the library and enter the halls. For a moment, as kids part like the red sea to make way for them - for Thor - Peter wonders if this is what it’s like to be famous. Or to be on the arm of someone famous. It certainly feels like it, because even though the revere isn’t for Peter specifically, it seems like the weight of everyone’s awe is on them.

He doesn’t like the attention. But he likes Thor.

To his delight, the older boy follows him to his locker. Embarrassingly, it sticks when Peter tries to open it, as it usually does. He struggles with it for long, humiliating moments before Thor opens it with one hand.

“Thanks,” he says, blush creeping back up his neck. “You’re like, crazy strong, dude.”

Thor flexes and inspects his own bicep, as if seeing it for the first time.

“Perhaps,” he concedes, smiling roguishly. “Back at home I used to lift my brother for weight training.”

“You what?”

“A story for another time,” Thor shakes his head, shuffling closer to be heard over the traffic of students. “Anyway, I should be going. But there was something I have been meaning to ask you, if I may take a moment --”

Peter freezes. Oh my god, this is it, he thinks. 

It’s happening.

“-- seeing as you and I have similar interests and we seem compatible, it would please me greatly if you would agree to --”

Heart racing, Peter turns, a fervent yes already on his lips.

It dies when there is a loud call of his name in the hall.

“-- Hey, Parker!”

Whatever Thor was going to say wilts at the interruption, seemingly forgotten as he waves at the intruder. Peter turns to see who called out for him and instantly wishes he didn’t.

Heart dropping to his stomach, he squeezes his eyes shut and sighs. 

This is his luck.

Never has he wanted to melt into the floor and die like he does right now as Stark approaches the pair in quick strides.

Hands shoved into his jean pockets, Stark’s wide eyes dart between them inquisitively, a shadow of a smirk crossing his face, disappearing just as quick.

“Well, pardon me. I hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Tony places a hand on his heart and leans on the locker next to Peters. “Thor, barely a pleasure as always.”

“Stark,” Thor nods.

Tony simpers, smile saccharine sweet and gestures to an uneasy Peter.

“I am just so sorry to intrude, but would you mind if I spoke to my husband here? He’s such a slippery one, aren’t you, sweetums?”

Thor looks between them, head going to and fro like a pendulum.

“He’s not my husband,” Peter rushes to assure, acutely pincered between Thor’s confusion and Tony’s mischief. “I mean he is, but it’s for an assignment. We’re not really -- it’s not real. I don’t like him.”

Tony exhales heavily, looking at Thor with dismay. “That’s not what he said in our wedding vows.”

Peter wants to punch him in the throat.

“I understand,” Thor smiles, patting each of them on the shoulder. He dips his chin and catches Peter’s eye. “To be continued?”

“Y-Yeah,” Peter nods enthusiastically, probably too enthusiastically, he thinks, as his aim is to pretend to be cool and disinterested, but he doesn’t even care because maybe not all is lost after all. “To be continued. See you.”

All of the pomp bleeds away from Tony as Thor walks away, his posture turning into a slump against the locker.

The smile drops from Peter’s face. He sends Tony a heated glare as he retrieves from his books, shoving them into his bag.

“What do you want?” he grumbles, slamming his locker shut. “You have the worst timing, you know that?”

“It’s part of my charm,” the other boy shrugs. “What can I say, I’m delightful.”

“You’re deplorable.”

Tony gasps in mock offence. “Deplorable? Good lord, Parker, is that any way to speak to your husband?”

“If the shoe fits,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest. “Look, I have to go to class. Say what you want or move out of the way.”

Tony rolls his eyes. “Oh, don’t be like that. C’mon, what were you and He-Man grunting about, hmm? Grr, me big, you tiny?”

“Unless you have a point,” Peter asks, pointing to the main hall, “I’m leaving.”

Tony puts his hands up in surrender, however the glib expression doesn’t quite leave his face. But at that moment Peter doesn’t have it within him to care, he’s not here to entertain him and sooner they get this over with, the better.

“Alright, alright, buzzkill. Come outside, I have to talk to you about the assignment.”

Peter looks at him, perturbed. 

“I need a smoke,” he explains, tutting at Peter dispiritedly. “Also, don’t lie, I know it’s your free period.”

He doesn’t wait for Peter to respond, heading straight for the double doors that lead to the courtyard at a sedate enough pace for Peter to follow. Nonetheless he jogs a few paces to catch up after debating whether or not it was a good idea to follow or if he should hide in the boys bathroom.

Again.

It’s fairly chilly out, the wind whipping through his clothes. He wishes he had a scarf or gloves or something, opting to shove his hands into the pocket of his hoodie and hooking the hood over his head.

“How do you know it’s my free period?” he queries loud enough to be heard over the wind. 

“Because,” Tony turns to walk backwards, the breeze whistling around them, “it’s also my free period and you always stink up the library so I can’t go there,” he rounds the corner to lead Peter to the shaded area behind the auditorium where a few students are lingering, most of them smoking. 

“And you take the best seat. Personally, I think it’s selfish. I can’t possibly sit there after your ass has warmed it.”

Willing himself to not rise to Tony’s level of pettiness, he crosses his arms over his chest as they come to a stop. The wind is at full force now that the surrounding buildings aren’t taking the brunt of it and it is cold as all hell, although Tony’s in a black t-shirt and doesn’t look affected at all, probably because he’s cold-blooded or warmed by hellfire.

Tony cups his hands over his lighter to protect the flame from the breeze, struggling briefly to light his cigarette. Once the end is properly alight, Tony takes a drag while staring at him. 

His hand comes to rest at his thigh, smoke rising idly from the cigarette. After a moment, he exhales the smoke in Peters direction.

“Wow. You’re disgusting,” he waves his hand in front of his face to dispel the smell. “Don’t you know second-hand smoke can kill?”

"Yes. Do you want a drag to speed up the process?”

“Don’t be a dick,” he says as Tony seems to find himself funny, offering up the cigarette in jest. Peter has half a mind to snatch it out of his hands and stomp on it. “I know that’s hard for you.”

“I’m joking, okay. I thought the wind would redirect the smoke. My bad.”

Peter rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I’m sure. Anyway, the assignment? Still waiting for whatever was so urgent."

Tony takes another drag, flicking ash to the ground before answering.

“I booked an appointment with a realtor for tomorrow after school.”

That has Peter’s curiosity piqued. “Really? Where?”

“LIC. One of the agents has agreed to be a reference so our domestic nightmare can be officially documented. Yay, go team.”

“Yay,” Peter deadpans. “What time?”

“Appointment’s at four-thirty,” Tony retrieves his phone from his pocket and hands it to Peter. “Give me your number and I’ll send you the details.”

Peter accepts it with a grimace. It’s warm from Tony’s body heat. Ugh.

“And now you can say: ‘thank you for being proactive, Tony, you’re so much better than me, Tony’.”

“Thank you for being proactive, Anthony, even if you’re a self-aggrandizing jerk,” Peter mutters, voice getting progressively more sarcastic. 

A wide smile blooms on Tony’s face, clearly pleased with himself. 

“You’re welcome, Parker.”

He is going to let that one go, Peter decides, feeling magnanimous on spite of the circumstances. He’d never admit it, but he’s kinda surprised by Tony’s apparent initiative, and even genuinely a little grateful that the other boy has arranged this so quickly. Or even that he thought to arrange it at all - field research was one of the highest scoring components on the rubric for this assignment.

Eyes flicking up for a moment, he assesses the other boy. Maybe he’s not as much of a slacker as Peter thought he was.

Tony, slumped against the brick wall, rubs his stomach and burps quietly. 

Or maybe he is.

Nevertheless, Peter types in his details and saves his contact in Tony’s phone as Your Better Half. 

Peter isn’t too much to look at, he knows, but he’s not the weak link here.

Tony accepts the phone back and wipes the touch screen on his shirt before pocketing it. 

“Alright then, meet me after school tomorrow in the parking lot. Don’t be late,” he flicks his cigarette to the ground and steps on it to put it out. Tony bends at the waist then to pick up the stub, clutching it in his fist for later disposal instead of leaving it as litter.

That surprises Peter a little, it’s more thoughtful, conscious a gesture than he would have expected to come from Stark. Not that he’s ever personally seen such behaviour from him, but it wouldn’t be a stretch with his devil-may-care attitude. Would it?

He’s about to make mention of heading back inside when Stark takes two purposeful steps towards Peter, bridging the gap between them. 

Peter freezes on the spot, breath caught in his chest as Tony brings them nose-to-nose.

He flicks his eyes down at Tony’s lips when his solemn expression morphs into an impish smile.

“Dude, what -- ?”

While Peter is distracted, Tony’s hands dart out to grip the strings of Peter’s hoodie, tugging them until the hood shrinks around his face.

“Do me a solid and try to wear something that doesn’t make you look like you’re a step away from lining up at a soup kitchen, okay? Y’know, something nice.”

Peter smacks his hands away furiously, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding as Tony backs away, snickering.

“You really get off on being a prized piece of shit, don’t you?” he mutters, somewhat self conscious as he tries to correct the hood. “Poor jokes, that’s real nice. Sorry not all of us were born wearing Balenciaga.”

He continues to struggle with it as they move away and head back towards the main building, pushing it off his head altogether. 

“Calm down, Charlie Brown, it’s not that deep,” Tony says drily, although his flippant demeanour softens significantly. “I have no doubt that you’d still manage to look like a hobo even if you were loaded, okay. You just have that grubby vibe.” Tony claps his hands together. “So, tomorrow. Meet me in the parking lot. Yes?”

Inside, away from the wind, Peter is still helpless to quell the hurricane that is Tony Stark. He gives him a tired thumbs up.

With that Tony sets off in the opposite direction, leaving Peter to wonder what the hell just happened, and what his life has become these last few days. 

“What a jackass,” he says to himself.

Now alone, he rubs his hands up and down his face, fruitlessly attempting to scrub away the memory of Tony close to him, eyes warm with mirth, the heat of his body up close and the smell of nicotine on his breath as he quite literally tugged Peter’s strings. It takes longer than he likes to will the image away and to calm the furious beat of his heart.

Furious; a feeling Peter is becoming progressively more familiar - and uncomfortable with.

Ben used to say that being angry at someone was allowing them to take up space in your head, rent free. He was right, because it never served Peter well to house animosity when acceptance was kinder to his soul and psyche, and to others -- but he can’t help it with this guy. Tony Stark is like an ear worm of the brain. He has this completely obnoxious way of making himself front and centre despite Peter’s best efforts to cast him to the sidelines.

While he’s willing himself to move on his phone vibrates inside his pocket with a new message.

> ur not my better half, loser > why r u like this > nvm i already know lol. > remember, don’t be late 2morrow

Peter, just a little satisfied with himself for getting under Tony’s skin, saves his contact as Tiny Stank and types back quickly, eager to get back to his seat in the library - assuming Stark hasn’t already occupied it - and make the best of his remaining free period.

<  whatever helps u sleep at night < also, plz lose my number after this is over

> way ahead of u, princess > say hi to aunt may for me

Ugh, Peter cringes, pocketing his phone without replying.

That guy is the worst.

---

*

*

---

tagging: @bylerboyfriends, @ravens-starker-stuff, @starker-rays, @ironspiderstarker, @muse-of-gods, @notfor-temporaryuse, @tabbycat1220, @sugarfreecult, @rebel13lion39, @plueschpop, @spideravocados, @jellybbunny,  @booktrashme, @elfkido, @mycatislickingmybedsheets, @queerghostboyo, @disneyprincessdominatrix

[fallout-lou-begas]

Fallout New Vegas Competitive Super Smash Bros. Melee AU

Caesar and Kimball both main Fox, easily, though Caesar lacks the tech skill to make it work as much as he wants it to whereas Kimball lacks the strategy and raw gamesense to capitalize on Caesar's errors. Their rivalry makes for very intense pools rounds, like seeing two babies get in a slap fight. Both of them are managers for rival clans anyway, and Caesar's star player [LGT] Lanius is the most brutal Captain Falcon in the region. Caesar recruited him to his clan after witnessing Lanius singlehandedly turn around a crew battle against an entire opposing team without dropping a single stock.

Mr. House is a veteran from the Golden Age of Melee who would be better known if Ken hadn't clinched his place in the history books first. He has a very elegant style of play but is so stuck in his ways that he falls to newer strategies and advanced tech. No one has seen him at locals in years though he apparently lurks on Netplay.

Yes Man mains Luigi. Chaos reigns. He always misfires every time he needs to.

Benny, true to his gambling heart, mains Mr. Game & Watch, a character who is literally incompletely coded in-game and is missing critical data such as an L-Cancel and full shield. He will constantly fish for 9s and whiff them every time except once. Benny is also 100% a john who will complain his controller wasn't working or something when he loses.

Boone mains Donkey Kong. Despite being such an intense sniper, he gets a kick out of throwing people around as big monky, though he still plays pretty seriously. you can aaaaaaaaaalmost see him smirk when he gets a cargo-throw stage spike

Raul doesn't know what Melee is and he calls the Gamecube "the nintendo." if forced into a game he would instinctively choose "this cool guy in the armor," Samus.

Arcade plays casually and mains Pikachu. He constantly spams Thunder.

Cass doesn't play very dedicatedly but somehow gets better at the game the drunker she is. She mains Peach, of course, and will fucking destroy you offstage.

Veronica mains Captain Falcon and usually just plays casually, screaming every time she lands a funny Falcon Punch. However, if you ask her to face you in a “real game,” she will effortlessly destroy you with some of the flashiest and so-stupid-it-works combos you’ve ever seen.

Christine is like Mew2King in that she's a "master of diversity," capable of playing almost every character capably at minimum. She mains Shiek and is one of the most tactical players in the region and a solid PR, but lately she's been feeling burnt out. She misses when she used to just play casually with her friends and do Kirbycides off the ledge for laughs.

Cassandra Moore is the Fox main that Kimball wishes he was, infamous for her hyper-aggressive, utterly oppressive playstyle.

Corporal Betsy has also never played Melee but would immediately latch onto “the hot blonde” (Zelda).

[the-bloodycircle-cb]

𝙏𝙒: 𝙈𝙐𝙍����𝙀𝙍, 𝙈𝙀𝙉𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉𝙎 𝙊𝙁 𝘽𝙇𝙊𝙊𝘿, 𝘿𝙀𝘼𝙏𝙃, 𝘿𝙍𝙊𝙒𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂, 𝘿𝙀𝙋𝙄𝘾𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉𝙎 𝙊𝙁 𝙑𝙄𝙊𝙇𝙀𝙉𝘾𝙀 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙃𝙊𝙍𝙍𝙊𝙍 𝘾𝙍𝙀𝙀𝙋𝙔𝙋𝘼𝙎𝙏𝘼 𝙏𝙃𝙀𝙈𝙀𝙎

𝙋𝙇𝙀𝘼𝙎𝙀 𝙋𝙍𝙊𝘾𝙀𝙀𝘿 𝙒𝙄𝙏𝙃 𝘾𝘼𝙐𝙏𝙄𝙊𝙉 𝙊𝙍 𝘼𝙑𝙊𝙄𝘿 𝙁𝙍𝙊𝙈 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙄𝙁 𝙏𝙍𝙄𝙂𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙀𝘿 𝘽𝙔 𝘼𝙉𝙔 𝙊𝙁 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘼𝘽𝙊𝙑𝙀.

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𝙒𝙤𝙧𝙙 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙩: 7398

𝓟𝓪𝓰𝓮 2 𝓸𝓾𝓽 𝓸𝓯 8

❝𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓶𝓮𝓽 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓪

𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓻𝓲𝓫𝓵𝓮 𝓯𝓪𝓽𝓮, 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮𝓷'𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾?❞

It was a warm Sunday evening in a quaint little suburban area. The sun peeked over the fluffy clouds, golden rays spilling onto the red shingles of the roofs.

A young boy- somewhere in his teens- was skipping with joy down the sidewalk, clutching a clear plastic bag in his hands. He had waited incredibly long for this day, saving up his allowance to finally purchase the very thing he's been eyeing for almost three months now.

"I can't believe I finally got the collector's edition of Majora's Mask! This thing is antique~!" He chirps to himself, watching the game cartridge jiggle around in the plastic bag.

The walk back home took no less than five minutes, kicking off his shoes and making his presence known to his mother. He was quick to shower and have dinner before rushing back upstairs, already done his homework in advance so he could finally game in peace.

Throwing his hood over his head, he inserts the cartridge into his Nintendo GameCube he got two Christmases ago, grinning when it goes in easily.

"Finally, I hope the game doesn't lag. I spent all my pocket money on this shit, it's old but still playable." He mutters to himself, remembering the words from the antique shopkeeper earlier that day.

The smile that spreads across his face at the sight of the game loading successfully was filled with excitement and relief, clicking on a new slot before pressing play.

“Huh. There's a few glitches in this thing.. heh, must be the age. It did come from the early 2000s.” He snickered, getting used to the controls of the game.

A few hours passed and it was late into the night now when the male began to feel uneasy. He had passed through a few locations in the map and he felt as if something was watching him play. But that was impossible, his parents were sleeping and he was the only child.. it should definitely be impossible, shouldn't it?

He could feel the hairs on the back of his neck stand when he finally found the source of his anxiety in the dimly lit room. Eyes widening by a few fractions, he stared at the pixelated character in the background of the screen, blinking in disbelief.

“Is that... The Elegy of Emptiness statue of Link?” He sputters, watching as the pixels shift around, as if reacting to his words.

His fingers shook a little as he held the controller in his hands, chewing on his bottom lip.

“This must be like.. an easter egg or something, right? Yeah, haha, definitely. It's like.. and extra companion.”

The teen thinks to himself, feeling himself calm down at the thought. He disregards the way the statue continues to slink through the map with him, resuming his gameplay.

Things seemed to have calmed down, the male sinking back into his gamer zone but deep down in his stomach he could feel fear bubble. Ever since his revelation the dialogues that he encountered kept glitching, some of the words too pixelated to make out and some even being changed to words like “why?” and “stop”.

He doesn't let the goosebumps stop him though, pushing the sight of the uninvited visitor to the back of his mind as his fingers pressed the buttons to move his character.

But then, things.. went terribly wrong.

“Ah finally, now if I cross this I'm pretty sure I'll get to the other cliffside. Just walk down the bridge and I'll arrive at the next town!” He chirped to himself, eyeing the digital clock on his bedside.

01:34 a.m.

Right as he stepped foot on the long bridge, he heard it. The change of soundtrack from the normal roaming one to a more.. unnerving one. The teen's eyes searched around the screen, unable to find the statue anymore.

“That's funny.. it was there a few minutes ago.” He mutters to himself, continuing to move down the bridge. The music picked up, sharp notes piercing his ears as he watches the pixel water below churn and glitch.

He continues to feel uneasy, breath hitching in his throat when he spots a text box pop up under the Link character. Eyebrows furrowed, he felt ice cold fear wash over him despite being wrapped in a blanket. The text glared at him in the darkness of his bedroom as he jumped when his clock ticked.

02:00 a.m.

“You shouldn't have done that.”

A cold voice rasps, the sound grainy and distorted as it resonates through the headphones he was wearing. He almost screamed, unable to move his fingers to click the next dialogue.

But he didn't have to.

The next text box appeared by itself, again with the same glitchy letters and the same cold, disembodied voice.

“How foolish of you to have continued playing even after knowing there was something wrong with the game. How desperate are you youths to play this wretched game?”

His words couldn't seem to exit his mouth, being stuck in his throat when he froze up in absolute terror. He doesn't know what was going on, who was talking to him? Were these dialogues supposed to be apart of the game?

“You look absolutely terrible, did I scare you? I was waiting for you to finally realize it, take a guess what music is currently playing.”

Without needing to move, he saw his laptop screen lit up from his desk, eyes flying to stare at it in shock. He got up with shaky hands, staring at the game file before falling back onto his bottom.

DROWNED.wmv

He scrambled back to his GameCube, seeing no more glitchy dialogues but his own character nowhere to be seen. He blinks, gasping when he sees he statue yet again, this time it seemed to have his Link avatar in its grasps, dragging it over to the water's edge.

It took him too long to finally process what was happening, and it only hit him full force when he heard the first piercing scream. It was that of a young boy, fearful and pleading as he cried bloody murder. The teen's eyes could only stare helplessly as he watches Link kick and squirm in his statue's grasp, the sound of the struggle evident over the music.

“LET ME GO LET ME GO LET ME GO.”

He fell back in horror when the statue pushed Link's head down into the river, hearing the drowned out screams coming from the still alive Link as he's forced to take the water down his lungs.

The male finally found the courage in him to stand up and make a run for it, right as Link's lifeless body starts floating down the river.

Then again, he was too late.

Right as his fingers touched the doorknob he was flung back to the floor by an unseen entity, groaning in pain. He had hit his head on the desk side, swimming through consciousness and unconsciousness when he felt it.

Drip

Drip

He looked up, about to scream when he had his mouth covered, the man above him giggling from the terrified look on his face. He had no visible eyes to be seen, only pure black voids of his eye sockets and a single red dot as his pupil. What was more unnerving though, was the sight of him seemingly crying with the tears dripping down his cheeksn

And those tears were blood.

The man dragged his limp body to the GameCube, a small flash of light before he no longer felt the carpet of his floor. Instead, he felt cold damp grass underneath his body, looking up to see the moon shining.

His assailant had brought him into the game. He was transported straight into Majora's Mask.

“Y'know, I expected some more struggle from you. Are you just gonna stay there and let me drag you all the way before the inevitable happens?"

The male could only attempt to toss and turn as he was dragged by the legs, finally orienting himself to struggle once he hears the rush of the river a few feet away.

The teen finally screamed, he screamed and kicked and flailed and tried as hard as he could to free himself.

But did he really think his captor would let that happen?

“Aha, now this is more entertaining~ You remind me of myself, far back from now. I was here too, struggling and screaming for my life. But who came for me?”

His eyes grew cold, brushing the bloodied tears away. “No one.”

With that, his assailant tossed him into the river, gripping him by the hair. The man's hair shimmered to an almost silver in the moonlight, though streaks of gold were highlighted by the dim lighting. The teen let out another plead, clawing at the man's fingers to free himself only to elicit another giggle.

“You're funny when you beg.”

SPLASH

He started to flail again, screaming as he feels his lungs burn. He kept struggling, and with every struggle more water enters into his mouth and nose. He screams and screams and screams, the music of DROWNED.wmv getting louder and louder until it stopped.

Yuta hummed, finally loosening his grip on the boy's hair. He watches his lifeless body float down the river in a similar fashion to when he ‘killed’ Link just now, a satisfied grin on his face.

The next thing you know, the mother would go to wake her son up only to find an empty bedroom. It would be classified into one of the many missing children cases, remaining unsolved, forever. No sign of any struggle, no windows opened and nothing out of the ordinary. The only exception was the GameCube, the screen now completely pitch black with a text box in distorted letters.

“You've met with a terrible fate, haven't you?”

𝓑𝓔𝓝 𝓓𝓻𝓸𝔀𝓷𝓮𝓭! 𝓝𝓪𝓴𝓪𝓶𝓸𝓽𝓸 𝓨𝓾𝓽𝓪

【Ｔｈｅ　Ｓｅｃｏｎｄ　Ｐａｇｅ】

𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝘾𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙩𝙤𝙧: @yanlee @yanlee-spam

𝙑𝙞𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙨 (?): @time-for-confession @m00n-purplerose-chatbot @yourdaddychan @hunter-chaeyoung @domyukhei @amazingspiderhan @yanderexhoshi @yourcupidchuu @m00n-miaka-cb @xx-macabre-chungha-xx @your-jaemin @seventeen-chatbot @soft-hyunjin-chatbot @playboy-jun @leextaeyong @moonlightchn @ateez-zombie-wonderland @camboy-superm @madmanwoodam @midari-jieun @underground-ateez @ghost-hyunjin @gryffindorxjeno @yanderesungie @mafia-chaeyoung @angelhyuck-cb @caretaker-johnny @dancertenbot @roomie-xiaojun @heartbroken-yeji @exoticdancer-chatbot @criminalinvestigator-mingyu @softbf-skz @seoyejibot @lawyer-jungwoo @la-soleilmafia-cb @mafiaxwayv @sk-tao @jungseonghwa @incubuswooyoung @floristluda @empress-jiaqi @yarindere @alteredjiaqi @ateez-treasure9au-chatbot @yandere-jaehyun @spn-seungwoo @demon-nct (DM if you want to be +/- especially if this kind of concept makes you uncomfortable.)

[leotssukinaga]

It’s Nice to Have a Friend

Kozume Kenma x Reader

Summary: Based on It’s Nice to Have a Friend by Taylor Swift. You and Kenma are childhood friends, but something else has been blooming for a long time. Word Count: 2113 A/N: I was gonna put this song on the songfic list, but I already knew I wanted to write it for Kenma so I didn’t. Finally got round to that. Also can y’all tell he’s my favourite character to write dksdg Warnings: Alcohol and drinking.

It's been like this for as long as you can remember, even after he started playing volleyball Kenma always walks you home. In middle school you'd sit in on practice, walking home with him afterwards, and he'd often stay for dinner at your parents behest. Now you're in high school there's no need since you only live 5 minutes from Nekoma's campus. He walks you home anyway. There are many things Kenma will never admit to you, the first being that he doesn't actually have an extra ten minutes before practice, he just doesn't mind rushing if it means he knows you're safe. You'd spent the first year of high school insisting that you'd get home fine on your own, or that you didn't mind waiting, but he never listened to you. He had time, he said, and nothing about his tone suggested that it was a lie. It was, but Kuroo never teased him too much for his sacrifice (or at least if he did, Kenma just tuned him out.) Tonight though, there's no practice, and the setter waits at his desk for you to pack up once class ends. He knows you always take a moment, the array of coloured pens you use (because notes should be colour coded to make studying easier, you’d insisted in your second year of middle school) take time to put away. You tuck the note he'd passed you earlier into your pocket. You always keep them. He doesn't know that. The smile he gives you as he holds a hand out to carry your bag is barely visible, but it's certainly there, and warmth spreads through your chest at the sight. 

Snow swirls around you, settling in your hair and on your lashes as your rummage through your bag for your hat and gloves. Kenma can't stop himself from staring at you, the light reflecting off the half melted flakes giving you an ethereal glow. If you weren't half freezing to death, he'd want to stay like this forever. Your cheeks are rosy from the cold as you triumphantly wave your hat around, but your grin soon fades as you realise your gloves are nowhere to be found. Kenma doesn't say a word as he removes one of his, placing it in your hand. He's refusing to make eye contact, and given the weather it's hard to tell whether the red on his cheeks is a blush or not. You know better than to argue, slipping the glove onto your right hand and thanking him quietly. 

As the two of you reach your street, you notice a pair of colourful cat ears on a patch of ground untouched by snow. Your neighbours 6 year old had been drawing on the sidewalk this morning when you left for school, the weather having changed unexpectedly, and you pouted a little knowing her lovely drawing would be ruined. Kenma's features turned puzzled as you ran to the spot, kicking the snow away and grinning when you realised the drawing hadn't been too affected by the snow. He watched in confused amusement as you snapped a few pictures of it and emailed them to your printer. "Why?" "I thought it would be a nice thing to give to her. She's only little, she must've been devastated when she realised it would be washed away." There are many things Kenma will never admit to you, and the second is that moments like this- where you do things just for the sake of being kind, where you smile at him and explain your kindness like it's the most obvious thing in the world- are the moments he lives for. He'd give up video games to see you like this one more time. The snow is coming down heavier as you reach your front door, and you pull him under the portico to protect him. "Wanna hang out?" "Yeah, sounds like fun." Your smile is as radiant as ever as you insert the key into the lock, calling out for your parents once the door is shut behind the two of you. One day he hopes he'll walk through the front door of your own shared house, or that it will be your kids calling for you as you prepare dinner together, but at the moment it seems like nothing more than a pipe dream. For now, he's content with what you have, building things in Minecraft, kicking his ass at Mariokart, logging into Elder Scrolls Online together after practice. In the summer you could occasionally coax him outdoors, although the closest you'd gotten him to indulging in your love of camping was a tent in your back garden. (He hadn't liked it, but you were so happy he couldn't complain, and waking up in that close proximity to you had made his heart swell.) He stays the night, the snow far too heavy for him to make it home, and around 3am you roll over to face him. "Hey Kenma?" "Yeah?" "Its nice to have a friend." "Yeah, it is." The glow of your alarm clock illuminates your faces enough to make the smile you share visible. It’s the last thing you see before you fall asleep. 

When college rolls around, it surprises nobody that you'd picked the same one. Even if you hadn't made a conscious decision to go together, you've always been synchronised. Two sides of the same coin, your parents had commented more than once. Your smile had been contagious when you announced that you got in, and he'd seemed genuinely energetic for once as he announced that he had too. 

Neither of you are much for parties, too many people and definitely too much noise, but that doesn’t mean you can't have your own fun. He'd been confused and a little apprehensive when you'd pulled him up the stairs and onto the roof, but it soon became clear what you'd planned out. Several bottles of alcohol sit in the centre of the large picnic blanket that's stretched over the concrete surface of the rooftop, both of your Switches, a few board games and, of course, Uno neatly arranged next to them. A bluetooth speaker softly plays a mix of both your favourite songs, and a grin spreads across his oft emotionless face as he takes it all in. It's his idea of the ideal party- one with nobody but you- and the look on your face tells him you knew that. "What d'you want to drink?" "Whatever you're having..." You hand him a bottle of something blue, and he's surprised at the sweetness when he takes a sip. "So, 20 questions or Uno?" "Why not both?" "I knew you were secretly a genius." 

He admits, once the alcohol has made its way into his system a little more, that the stress has been piling up recently, that he really needed this to unwind, that you always seem to know exactly how to fix things even just for a moment. He attempts to retracts the statement once you kick his ass at Uno, but the way you giggle makes his heart beat and the way your lips glisten with the stray drop of vodka that lingers after you take a sip brings back the years of daydreams he's had about kissing you. The sky is turning pink, but the late hour doesn't matter anymore, not when you're in your twenties and you don't have class tomorrow. "Its pretty like this." "Yeah, you are." "Hm?" "Uh- nothing. The sky is nice." You decide to let it slide.  "Yeah, it's a really good colour. I think it might be one of my favourites..." There are many things Kenma will never admit- the third being what he’s thinking right now- that his favourite colour is the blush on your cheeks, the way your eyes shine in the light, the colour of your lips between your teeth when you're nervous. That if he had to pick a favourite colour it would simply be you. He doesn't know when he got the courage to put his hand on yours, but you haven't moved it away, and the smile on your face as you take in the sunset tells him you don't have an issue.  "Hey, Y/N?" "Yeah?" "Its nice to have a friend." He mirrors your words from a few years ago, the meaning behind it deeper than before. You grin, pink and purple illuminating your beauty, and after 15 years of knowing you he's found no evidence that you aren't an angel. He doubts there is any. "Yeah, it is."

It's always been like this, you smiling at Kenma and him smiling back- a smile that nobody else gets to see. Today, everyone sees it, though it's meant only for you. He leans in to whisper to you as you reach him, tears in both your eyes, and though the wedding is small the love and joy you feel from everyone in the room is overwhelming. When you were 10 and he invited you over for the first time to play Zelda on his gamecube, neither of you could imagine a future where you got married at all, let alone to each other. In high school, when you showed up to his games with a red number five on a sign and his spare jacket tied round your waist (when did you steal that?) he could only dream of a day like this. There are many things Kenma had thought he’d never admit, and now he wanted to tell you all of them. Starting with the fact that your first kiss, the first time he told you he loved you, the night you fell asleep with your head in his lap- none of them could compare to how he felt right now, looking at you on your wedding day.

Bells ring behind you as white confetti gathers on the ground, and from a distance it would almost look like it was snowing. You pose for photos for what feels like hours, every possible combination and location exhausted. The reception is as beautiful as the ceremony, though far less refined, and you've just sat down next to Kenma to take a break when Kuroo pulls you to your feet, insisting it's tradition to dance with the best man. You both know it's a lie, but you've been putting up with his antics for long enough to know that your better off just rolling with it. "I've never seen Kenma smile this much, you know." "Me neither, actually." "Its because of you." "I'm glad I make him happy." "Does he make you happy?" "D'you think I'd have married him if he didn't?" "Thats the right answer."

Kenma insists on carrying you into your apartment, despite the exhaustion visible on his face, and you kiss his cheek gently as he closes the door. You make your way to the kitchen to make tea, and you don't notice him behind you until he's tickling your sides, grinning at your giggles. "You're sleeping on the couch if you don't stop!" "You don't mean that." "I do!" "Prove it." He keeps going, and you eventually concede. You'd never kick him out of bed, even if he was being a little shit right now. This playful side of Kenma didn't come out too often- but you adored when it did. You reach up to tuck a strand of hair behind his ear. It's mostly black now, and tied back as usual. It suits him, you think, as you cup his cheek and kiss him with all the tenderness in the world. 

The next morning starts with light flooding through your curtains and your husbands arms around you. You can feel him gently kissing your shoulder as you reach down to take his hand in your own. "Morning babe..." "Morning love." You turn around to face him, eerily reminiscent of a night all those years ago. The smile on his face is the same as it had been then. Being this close to him feels like home. "Let's stay in bed today." "I like the sound of that." You know that when it comes down to it, you'll always have him. You wouldn't want it any other way. There are many things Kenma thought he would never admit, many secrets he now wants to spill to you and nobody else, but the one thing he wants to tell anybody who’ll listen- is just how much he loves you. "Hey Kenma?" "Yeah?" "Its nice to have a friend." "Yeah." He brings your hand up to his mouth, placing a gentle kiss on each of your fingers, pausing with his lips on your wedding ring. "Yeah, it is." 

taglist: @tremendousglitterthing​ @svtbitch​ @the-fandom-ness​ @atsumumu​ (I ACTUALLY REMEMBERED THIS TIME)

[deeeelightfuldee]

Are you better at cooking dinners or making cakes/biscuits/sweets? baking definitely. I want to get more comfortable cooking.

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? yes. I used to be pretty good at doing my brothers hair-- even the fading. But I’m sure I’ve forgotten it all by now.

Who was the last guest in your house and what were they staying for? probably my sister or my nephews.

How many long term relationships have you been in? blegh. not many. Whenever I’d know that it didnt have long term potential, id drop it. no sense dragging out the inevitable.

Do you sleep with all the lights out, or do you leave a lamp or even the television on? so for the longest time I kept my room super dark. I slept well. once miller died and kile broke my heart, I couldn’t sleep without the tv playing. I needed to hear something calming and voices talking so I wouldn’t be left with my thoughts. I still can’t turn it off.

Who is one person you have forgiven, but still have not “forgotten” what they have done? i think its easy to say “forgive and forget” but the reality is that once we have endured trauma we don’t easily forget. I think its kind of unrealistic. I’m trying to forgive kile but thats going to take.. i dont know how long. As for what it was... it was just betrayal.. lying. for six+ years. lots of laughing at me. 

Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? I like some of her songs.

Do you know your blood type? o+

Do you know your mother’s birthday? Yes. its coming up. 

Have you ever been pregnant? I dont think so. I was really late after my assault but who knows.

How old were you when you first went on a plane? like 7ish

Have you ever had to take out a loan for anything? Yeah, student loans. 15k feels so daunting right now.

Are both of your blood parents still in your life? One is. My mom.

When was the last time you went apple picking? highschool maybe?

Someone asked you what you wanted, what would you say? money.. or a trip.

Have you ever been drunk at school or work? definitely not. 

How many bedrooms are in your house? four. 

Are you smart about computers? I know some stuff.

Have you ever played Just Dance for Wii? oh heck’n yeah

Do you own a Xbox 360? I had one from my brother for a little while but I traded it for the gamecube since Kile was going to send me one of the 15 he had lol. That didn’t end up happening, but its OK i really dont need more gaming.

Would you ever do a sex tape for a million dollars? oooooooo.. probably not.

So, do you need a nap? all day is full of naps to try and get over this.

What would you rather be doing? school

What sport are you the best at? maybe volleyball or swimming

Do you have a little sister? What’s her name? Nope, im the baby. 

Do you complain a lot? no, i try not to. I find complaining to be the most unattractive and yet common human trait and while there are definitely situations worthy of complaining, most of the time it just makes a situation worse than it actually was.

Would you rather go to an authentic haunted house or an ancient temple? temple

Do you like fruity or minty gum? definitely minty

Are you looking forward to any day of this month? i was really looking forward to Kile’s birthday on monday, but since we arent talking anymore then there is no joy in that. all the other special dates have been ruined by covid.

Have you ever gotten detention? Nope. homeschoolers and detention arent a thing. 

Is there a traumatic event that you’ve experienced that’s changed your life? oh sure. heartbreak, deaths, assaults, etc.

Do you buy a majority of your clothes from a certain store, or do you just pick out items of clothing you could see yourself wearing, not caring about the store it came from? no, i can’t be super picky because not every store carries clothing long enough for me.

Have any of the artists you’re fond of released new albums recently? i havent got a clue

Would you ever keep your favorite animal as a pet? I mean I’m very fond of cats & dogs

Ever cried so much you threw up? this is what happened the whole 2-3 weeks following finding out about Kile.

Who is your best guy friend? I suppose now that would be Nathan

What do you two do when you hang out? drives, game nights, get food/drinks, or just talk.

What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving? Her

Do you even like horror movies? not particularly. I’ll watch them if someone else wants to but its not my preference.

Do you live in the country? i live in the suburbs i suppose.

What is your favorite accent? Some southern and British accents. <same ... i have no idea how I made the font like this.

Have you ever had a boyfriend your parents didn’t like? Not that I can think of.

Do you drink Pepsi or Coke? diet coke

What do you plan to do on your 21st birthday? my family celebrated during the day and then I think nathan took me out on the town

Do you have any person in your family with an addiction to beer? nope.

Do you take a lot of pictures? man. this question is hard. I used to love taking pictures of myself. I had much more self confidence and some of it was because kile LOVED my selfies -- or so he said. and I just had so much fun doing that. Since the heartbreak, I’ve maybe taken 10 selfies. I just don’t have any self confidence in my looks anymore. its so different now. most of my pictures now are of other people or scenery.

What kind of face wash do you use? cerave when I want to. otherwise i use water and a very particular type of fabric. 

Does drama always seem to follow you? No, i dont think so.

Does anybody in your family race? like cars? running? no.

Are you closer to your mom or dad? My mom.

How much money did you used to get from the ”tooth fairy?” I think i got it like 2x and it was a dollar.

Do you have a laptop or desktop? Laptop.

Do you like your parents? i love my mom.

Do you secretly like someone? No.

Would you ever date your best male friend? I don’t see any romantic feelings developing between nathan and I

What are you currently listening to? I have gilmore girls on.

Do you want to be single? oooof. Um. I am torn on this subject. On the one hand, i really am ready to be loved, held, protected, cared for, etc. I love the idea of building a life together with someone and us both protecting our unit. I miss supporting, cherishing, loving on someone. Yet on the other hand, im fine being single. I have so much insecurity about myself lately that I dk that anyone else needs to deal with that baggage. Idk

Did you go out or stay in last night? I stayed in. ill be staying in for some time.

Have you pretended to like someone? romantically, no. professionally, yes.

How is your heart lately? Sad. heavy. 

Are you wearing socks? not at the moment. 

What do people call you? Di, diana, dee, ana, di-nan-na, dine-uh, deenah.

Do you get stressed out easily? no, I really dont

Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? yes

What is wrong with you right now? im sick. im heartbroken.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? not that I know of. if I do, it’d be from like middle school. I never shopped there but people tended to give gifts from there.

Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? Alone. maybe I havent found the right sort of person to share a bed with.

Do you still talk to the person you last made out with? No.

Have you ever seen your best friend cry? Yes, several times. 

Did you get any compliments today? No.

Have you ever gone to a beach? many many many times.

What would you say if someone asked you to get high right now? not my thing. at all.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? Yes.

Have you ever done volunteer work just because you wanted to? Yes.

Do you have long nails? they are healthy length. I want to grow them out a bit more. 

Do you like the gender you are? Yeah.

Do you generally look nice in photos? Not anymore

Have you ever had a stick insect as a pet? no haha

What colour are your father’s eyes? Blue.

If I handed you a concert ticket right now, who would you want to be the performer? uhhhhm, blue october

Would you ever get into a long distance relationship? maybe not anymore. 

What’s your favorite hot beverage? hot chocolate from dunkin

Did you ever play an instrument? If so what? i did. no comment.

Would you rather carve pumpkins or wrap presents? oooooohhhhhhhhh man i love both.

Do you think you’re important? I mean i offer some importance to this world but eh.

What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? Hmm no idea.

Have you been diagnosed with any mental disorders? no

Have you ever moved to another state or country? If so, how did it feel to be new? No.

Do you know how to properly eat food with chopsticks? Nope.

What was the first thing you ate today? I haven’t eaten since breakfast yesterday

If you could spend the day, doing absolutely anything, with anyone, anywhere, what would it be like? for the longest time it was to spend the day driving aimlessly and getting food and talking about everything and nothing with Kile. now, its just.. idunno. blank.

If I were to ask you how you are doing, and you were only able to answer completely honestly, what would come out? I’m not doing well.

What is the one thing that you have been avoiding that you should do? There’s a few things related to school.

Is there anything that you wish you could take back? not really, no.

What, in your mind, could make you truly happy? this whole covid nonsense going away, heartbreak to soothe, and my miller back.

If you could change one conversation in your life, what would you say differently? Would it have REALLY made any difference? i dont know. 

When is the next time you’ll change your hairstyle? Will you color it? I just changed it up so itll be a bit.

Do people normally say you’re a fast typist, or are you rather slow? Fast.

Have you ever been considered the ‘smartest person in school?’ yes. several times.

How many drugs are in your system? lol lots of meds rn to kick this. usually none.

What’s on your schedule for tomorrow? the same as today.

Do you currently have any bite marks/hickeys on your body? No. i dont like the idea of bite marks but hickeys were fun for a time. in not visible areas tho.

Do you call anyone baby? Not anymore.

What’s your current mood? Bleh.

What were you doing before filling out this survey? Watching gilmore girls

How late did you stay up last night? I took PM meds at i wanna say 8? maybe 7? I don’t remember.

When was the last time you cried really hard? its been a few weeks since ive cried about Kile. I’m in the numb stage.

Is your hair longer than your shoulders? hahahahahahah

[zxanthe]

laughter

late entry for @soulxmakaweek day 4. life sure does have a way of happening but i wanna finish the week out anyway!

also available on ao3 and ff.net

On the day that Maka turns fourteen, the AC breaks. She’s woken up by Blair meowing morosely from the floor, and mumbles something indistinct that was supposed to be please be quiet but instead gets drowned in the realization that she is drenched in sweat. She sits up, yawning, registering the hot, still texture of the air within the apartment as she does so, before Blair jumps into her lap and stares at her with wide, urgent golden eyes.

“Maka,” she says, “Bu-tan is hot.”

Soul’s bedroom door is open when she finally shuffles out of her room. His window is open wide, curtains hanging limp and inert. The boy himself is sprawled on the floor in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts, snoring softly. Maka shakes her head and grabs a pillow from the living room couch to throw at him.

“Nnnnnurgh,” he grumbles, shoving it off. “Go’way I’m tired.”

Maka averts her eyes when Blair shifts to human form on top of him, unabashedly nude. She wanders to the kitchen, rolling her eyes when he starts yelling a few moments later.

He drifts after her eventually, once she’s gotten halfway through a bowl of cheerios. “Have you called the maintenance people yet?” Soul asks.

“It’s Saturday,” Maka points out dryly. “They’re only open on weekdays.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Soul groans. “There’s gotta be other companies!”

“There are, but they’re out of our budget. Plus this one offers discounts to DWMA students.”

Soul grumbles inarticulately and flops down at the table opposite her with his own bowl of cereal. “It’s July,” he says morosely. “In the desert.”

“You’ve had worse.”

“No, I haven’t. This is awful.”

“Oh, suck it up, you big baby.”

“I mean, we have more money now, don’t we? Because of…all the missions, lately.”

She sighs. Ever since the Kishin was released things haven’t really been the same. The mission board has never been fuller. Reports of strange and disturbing events are coming in from all over the world. She’s never really been susceptible to madness before, but ever since that Clown…she suppresses a shiver. She’s been having nightmares, waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night because she dreamt that Soul was cut in two or Tsubaki had her soul yanked out of her chest or Black Star was hanging limply from a blade pushed brutally through his stomach. She puts her spoon down, appetite dulled.

“We do,” she concedes, “but I think it’s smarter to save it. You never know what could happen.”

Soul is squinting at her, brows furrowed. “You okay?” he asks after a few moments.

Maka forces a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine!”

“I can hear you crying at night,” he says flatly. “You’re not exactly quiet.”

“Oh, well excuse me for disturbing your beauty sleep!” she spits, and gets to her feet.

Soul catches her wrist on her way to dump the remains of her breakfast down the sink. “I didn’t mean it like that, dummy,” he says gruffly. “I’m worried. About you.”

Maka bites her lip.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he grumbles. “If you’re not in tip-top shape then we can’t kill as many monsters and get more money to fix that damn AC. Happy birthday, by the way.”

His face is a little flushed. She doesn’t know if it’s because of the heat or embarrassment, but it makes her smile anyway. Dork. “Thanks,” she says, and when she sits back down at the table she tells him about her nightmares.

“Yeesh,” Soul says. “That’s some bullshit.”

“Yeah,” she says. “I know they’re not real, but they’re super vivid. I think it’s just residual effects from the Clown’s madness. They’ll go away eventually.”

“Well yeah, but that’s doesn’t make them any less fucked up.” Soul frowns thoughtfully and then gets up and opens the freezer. A blissful smile crosses his face.

“Hey, don’t keep that open for too long! It’s not good for the freezer or the food and it wastes electricity!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Soul says, and then pulls out a big tub of vanilla ice cream. He plonks it down in the middle of the table along with two spoons.

“What?” he asks, and then his face flushes again and he looks away. “What’s with that face?”

“Ice cream?” Maka asks, nonplussed. “Soul, it’s 10 in the morning.”

“Yeah, and? My gran, she’d…she’d always give us ice cream when we were sad.”

She can’t help the laugh that bursts out of her. Soul’s eyes dart to hers and then he exhales a laugh of his own. “Yeah, it’s kinda childish,” he says. “But it’s hot and who cares, nobody’s around to stop us.”

“That’s true,” says Maka. “Plus it’s my birthday, and that means I can do whatever I want.”

They make it about halfway through the tub, and by the end of it Maka feels considerably happier than she did at the start of the morning. Even the heat doesn’t feel quite so bad. Soul’s gran has a point. She wonders distantly if Soul would ever let her meet her one day, so she can say thank you. Soul and Maka move to the couch, and Soul puts on a movie they rented last week, and they’re crying laughing within a few moments at how bad it is.

Tsubaki and Black Star phone in from Japan at around 1 with birthday wishes. “We should be coming back in around two weeks or so, maybe less,” says Tsubaki, her voice staticky with distance. “Tanjoubi omedetou, Maka-chan.”

“Arigato, Tsubaki-chan!” Maka replies, smiling, and then recoils when Black Star bellows at full volume, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALBARN! I’M GONNA KICK THE CRAP OUT OF YOUR STUPID AC FOR DARING TO BREAK ON BLACK STAR-SAMA’S BEST FRIEND’S BIRTHDAY!”

She laughs. “I can hear you, Star, no need to yell!”

“I WANNA TALK TO SOUL!! DID HE PICK UP MY GAMECUBE? HAS HE BEEN PLAYING ANIMAL CROSSING FOR ME?”

Maka hands the phone off. “Yeah, bro,” Soul says. “I’m pretty fuckin’ proud of it, too.”

“It’s such a cute game!” Maka exclaims, snatching the phone back from Soul. “You guys better bring back a Japanese copy for us!”

“Of course,” says Tsubaki.

Kid calls them later that afternoon, inviting them over to his mansion for tea. Maka is all too glad to have an excuse to leave the stifling apartment. When she gets there, Patty showers her in confetti and Kid reveals an elaborate cake with a flourish. They stay until it gets dark, when the night is slightly more bearable, and then they make their way home, laden with cake and presents.

“I’m surprised that Kid remembered,” Maka comments as they walk. “I don’t think I’ve ever told him my birthday.”

“No?” Soul shoots her a glance.

Maka narrows her eyes. “Did you tell them?”

Soul shrugs. “Dunno. Maybe.”

“You’re sweet.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

The sound of her laughter follows them home.

[eat-the-richard]

Why Super Mario Sunshine is kind of bad (and how to fix it)

It’s safe to say that in our current hellscape that there are few games in the Mario franchise with as strong of a following online than Super Mario Sunshine. And how could it not? It’s so unique and fun that most people could probably have a good time with it. But it’s interesting to note just how much this perspective has changed over time. 

When Sunshine came out it was considered by some to be the black sheep of the series. Or at the very least a noticeable step down from 64. There’s quite a lot wrong with Mario Sunshine. While there’s a great game at the core of this thing, there’s certainly a few miles of paint-like goop to sift through.

What’s frustrating is that a lot of these problems could have been solved with just a bit more development time. Mario Sunshine was rushed. This can be observed even without prior knowledge, but it becomes plainly evident when you look at some of the prerelease videos. In some instances it doesn’t even resemble the final product. Even at E3 2002, just three months before launch, there are a lot of noticeable differences to the final product.

Because of this rushed development, a lot of corners needed to be cut to pad out the game’s relatively lacking amount of content. The result is a game that is fun and well designed in some instances but a complete and utter disaster in others. 

The issues plaguing Mario Sunshine were emblematic of a Nintendo-wide issue. At the start of the GameCube’s life, many prominent franchises were rushed along development to meet strict deadlines to fill out the console’s thinning library and boost sales. The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker is a textbook example. A lot of people had issues with that one too when it came out. Despite some clearly dumb points about the game’s art style, there’s definitely a lot to say about how Wind Waker pads out limited content. Doesn’t that sound familiar?

Thankfully, in 2013, the Wind Waker received an HD rerelease for the Wii U. Alongside a hefty visual overhaul, there were many under the hood changes to make the game an overall smoother experience stemming directly from those 2003 critiques. Sailing is made way simpler and faster in this version and the Tingle-inspired back-half of the game is shortened significantly. These two changes alone make this version superior, at least to me.

In the years since, I believed that Sunshine could have benefited from a rerelease similar to Wind Waker. Not necessarily in terms of its visuals (which I think have held up rather well) but in terms of its structure. Some small changes to the way Sunshine progresses could really benefit it overall, and I believed, erroneously, that it was only a matter of time before it received this treatment.

But we live in a post-3D All Stars world, and Nintendo’s response is clear. They believe Mario Sunshine is perfectly fine as is. Just touch up some of the textures, give it a resolution increase, and you got yourself a solid product. And yeah, its still pretty fun like this. But its hard to look past the missed potential in refining some of Sunshine’s rougher edges.

Which is what I plan to outline in this video. If I were to be given the reigns to nosedive Nintendo’s current plans to revamp a 2002 GameCube game, what would I change? After a suitable amount of complaining, I’ll discuss a fan project that comes close to doing what I think Nintendo should do.

So sit back, relax and let me refresh your body and spirit.

The first changes I’d make have to do with the frame rate. It’s evident that Super Mario Sunshine was supposed to be a 60 frames-per-second game. Some prerelease footage even shows as much. But somewhere late in development, the framerate was capped at 30, making it the only 3D Mario Game post-64 to not reach 60. Using Gecko codes, it’s possible to unlock the framerate and play at a pretty consistent 60. It’s so consistent that it starts raising the question of why Nintendo didn’t implement this into the Switch rerelease. This code isn’t emulator exclusive either, it also works pretty well when used on Wii consoles. Also, a hypothetical rerelease using the source code wouldn’t even have to deal with this anyway. But it’s good that the game works so well like this even without more structural changes. I don’t really need to explain the benefit of an increased framerate, so strike that one down.

And with that out of the way, it’s time to outline the biggest change my hypothetical Mario Sunshine remaster would make. One seemingly small but with major ramifications towards the rest of the game. But first, some background.

Super Mario 64 took a pretty big risk back in 1996 by significantly changing the main objective of playing a platformer. It was no longer about clearing a level. You aren’t going through these areas to reach an end point. The objective is now to find certain major collectibles, in this case power stars. But the game doesn’t want you to collect all of them. I’ve heard a lot of discourse recently about the boot-out system, but even when I was a kid I realized that 64 kicked you out of every level not just to pad out game length but to keep you moving around the castle. 

64 is always inviting you to explore new areas with a constant trickle of new content the more total stars you collect. At first, the amount of stars needed to unlock a new level are small. The first area of the castle has every level besides Bob-omb’s Battlefield locked behind a small star total. And the amount needed to progress onto the next full area with five more major levels is only 8. But these star totals gradually increase over time, requiring 30, 50, and finally 70 stars to unlock new content. But what stars you got never mattered, just how many in total. This allows for free exploration where the player doesn’t have to think about where their next objective is. For instance, exploring pretty much every cardinal direction of Lethal Lava Land will lead you in the direction of a star. And because it doesn’t matter which star you get, it allows players to choose how long they invest in each level. Are the constant treks up Tall Tall Mountain or Rainbow Ride annoying you? Well all those stars are completely optional, you just have to compensate by completing more of the other levels. It’s an ingenious system that allows for a lower total amount of levels to feel more rewarding.

Super Mario Sunshine is practically begging to be like this. In fact, for the first few hours, that’s exactly how it works. New levels are unlocked progressively through getting Shines. But it doesn’t work in quite the same way. These shine totals are never outlined to the player. It shows you that you’ll eventually be able to use the Rocket Nozzle and has objects like the pineapple blocking Sirena Beach to make you yearn for a Yoshi. But you’re not told when these things are to be unlocked; it just sort of happens. Which is fine, it definitely makes the game feel more mysterious. But it lacks that forward momentum of 64 where your end goal is always simple and in the back of your mind. Oh, I need 30 stars to unlock this big door. Sunshine doesn’t have this despite literally operating in the same way. But it still maintains the ability to slowly unlock content to players through playing more of the game, which is good. And importantly, which stars you get for these gates aren’t important, just that you’re getting them at all. And if the game stuck to this principle, that would’ve been great.

Except it didn’t.

After the rocket nozzle is unlocked and Pianta Village becomes accessible, your total amount of Shines is never relevant again. Instead, game progression is contingent upon completing mission 7 of every level. Not every shine is valued the same according to the game. The progression is far more linear than in 64. You can no longer choose to avoid the Chuckster mission. Or the Sand Bird mission. Or the teeth cleaning mission. Or racing Il Piantissimo three times. Or fighting Gooper Blooper three times. Or fighting Petey Pirahna twice. Or defeating these same Piranha Plant Gatekeepers five times. Or even chasing down and squirting on Shadow Mario E L E V E N T I M E S. There’s a lot of repetition here which would’ve been eased simply by allowing the player to avoid doing these missions wherever possible. 64 had similar situations of reused content, but it’s not as egregious when there’s no incentive to collect stars you don’t want to. 

This structure is also weird because there’s a ton of extra missions in this game. Some of the game’s most, err, fun segments are hidden away in Delfino Plaza. These can be some pretty time-consuming tasks. You know what I’m talking about. But that’s not all. Every course also has some bonus shines. Every secret stage has an additional Red Coin challenge. There’s some “cleverly” hidden shines even within certain missions. There’s even a mission 8 to every level. Every level also has a 100 coin mission which, just to get it out of the way, should absolutely not spawn the shine somewhere 100 feet away from you AND boot you out of the level upon collection AND not be possible in every mission. Like c’mon, Mario 64 got this right on the first try. So Nintendo went out of their way to put all these extra shines in the game, and yet none of them matter towards game completion. Which makes me wonder what the point of completing them is supposed to be?

All this extra content, regardless of quality, would benefit from a system similar to Mario 64. In its current state, there’s not much of a reason to even bother with these extra missions, especially when some of them are of questionable quality. On that same token, there’s some pretty fun missions hidden in this extra content, and it’s a shame that they aren’t more important.

Well, with that...  

B L U E    C O I N S

I almost forgot about you!

Blue Coins are pretty despised. But in concept they’re pretty smart to put in a game like this. It’s kind of like the Red Coins but on a broader scale. They’re packed into every little tiny corner of the levels, giving players more of a reason to explore the pretty environments. And once you collect 10 of them, you get a Shine Sprite from the local beavers. If these Blue Coin shines counted towards a grand total for game completion, Blue Coins could give players a nice buffer to replace some of the games more questionable missions. But just like all of the extra content, Blue Coins matter not one iota towards finishing the game. So, the only reason to collect Blue Coins at all is if you wanted to collect them all.

And that’s precisely why people hate them. Because collecting all the Blue Coins is an absolute nightmare. Let’s not even talk about how cryptic some of these coins are because honestly I’ll be here all day. Let’s instead talk about how impossible it is to know how close you are to getting every Blue Coin in a level. You can intuit through previous levels that it caps out at 30 per level, but the game never tells you that. There’s obviously no Blue Coin tracker like there is for shrines in Breath of the Wild, so if you’re frantically darting around Noki Bay looking for the one coin you missed that's hidden inside a wall for some reason, you’ve only got GameFaqs and Jesus to help you at that point. 

To top it all off, just like the 100 coins missions, it’s impossible to get every Blue Coin in every mission in a level. Some blue coins are exclusive to certain missions. And it’s impossible to know how many are exclusive, which ones are exclusive, how many exclusives you’ve gotten, how many exclusives you need. Must I continue? This process is a disaster and gives Blue Coins a bad name. If they were put in a game like Mario 64, I feel like these things would have much more of a positive reputation. But as it stands these things are so toxic they’ve been reduced to POW switch fodder in later games. 

I think Blue Coins summarize the issue with the extra content pretty succinctly. In a game like Mario 64, they’re harmless. But in a game where none of it is tied to beating the final level, the only purpose they have is 100% completion. And 100% completion should never be the focus of 3D Platformers. Some players prefer playing to completion but there’s a reason why most don’t. Fully completing a game is a soul commitment as much as it is a time commitment. It’s saying to yourself that I am willing to go through all the unfinished, janky, and cryptic content Mario Sunshine has to offer all for the extensive reward of… a different end screen. So yeah, there is no reason to get 100% of Mario Sunshine’s content. Even completionists are going to be disappointed. Not only is this content useless towards Any%, it’s aggravating for 100%, since fully completing the game is so unrewarding. 

So, how do we fix this issue? Well to do that, let’s take a look at a mod that, in my opinion, does exactly that: Super Mario Sunburn, made by Epicwade.

The biggest change Sunburn makes is in its requirements for completion. Rather than Bowser being locked behind completing the seven Shadow Mario shines, the door to Corona Mountain is opened when the player attains 70 shines overall. If you recall, that’s the exact same amount 64 requires of the player to reach the final level. This change, by itself, adjusts Sunshine more towards what I would like it to be. But if you’re crazy enough to prefer the previous mode of completion, it’s still there as an option.

That’s not all, though. Now, when you collect a Shine, you’re no longer booted out of the level, and instead are simply asked to save and then you’re free to explore the rest of the level. My feelings on this essentially boil down to which mission I’m playing. I think the first two shines of Bianco Hills show this working pretty much perfectly. You squirt on the gatekeeper to get the first shine and then you’re immediately free to go forward and fight Petey Piranha. This feels far more natural than having to get booted out after the first shine and make the entire trip through the first half of Bianco Hills just to get back to where you just were. So in this case, it’s a positive.

However, Sunshine very often changes its course layout per mission. And when that happens, it feels a bit unnecessary to have to boot out of a level manually and boot back in just to get the next event to trigger. Sometimes you can chain getting a bunch of shines out in the open with a secret stage which resets the level upon entering the newly placed warp pipe at the end of it. But otherwise you’re stuck pausing and exiting. I feel this issue may be able to be streamlined by doing something like Mario Odyssey does, where collecting certain Moons boot you to the beginning of the level with the new mission unlocked. This might be outside of the reach of Sunshine modding at the moment, though.

This isn’t the only change set to make Sunshine more open. One of my favorite parts of the original game was that you could see other levels whenever you looked around. Turning at the start of Bianco Hills and being able to see not only Delfino Plaza but also the yet to be unlocked Ricco Harbor and Pinna Park was fascinating to me when I first played it. Sunburn takes this concept one step further by allowing players to travel from stage to stage. For instance, taking the river in Bianco Hills spits you out Ricco, and climbing a vine in Ricco allows you to travel back. This is a pretty novel idea and definitely makes replaying the game an entirely different experience, especially when combined with the lack of boot out. It does lose me a bit in how it necessitates for every level to be unlocked at the start. As I mentioned previously, slowly unlocking stages to the player by collecting whatever collectible they’re using allows for 3D Platformers to have constant forward momentum, which is lost here. But for those who’ve already played the game I think this is a fun option.

Other quality of life changes are strictly positives. In most instances, Blue Coins are now accessible from any mission in a level. I say most because it’s impossible for some of these coins to make the transition. But in the vast majority of cases, it���s been done. More coins have been added to each stage, along with Red Coins counting as collecting two coins just like in 64. This makes getting 100 coins a lot easier, especially when you’re doing multiple missions of a stage in a row. Two of the game’s weakest sections become far more manageable with these changes. There’s some smaller changes too, like being able to skip cutscenes, Blue Coins no longer bringing up a save screen, and Shadow Mario’s invisible health bar being restored. There’s also new content here, with additional secret stages being accessible from the main courses. Nothing mind-blowing, but it’s at least pretty neat to run around Outset Island as a FLUDD-strapped Mario.

Super Mario Sunburn addresses a lot of my issues with the original version, which was exactly the point. I’m not the first to bring up these issues, nor will I be the last. There’s so much potential within Super Mario Sunshine to be one of the best examples of its genre, so to see it fall short in such fundamental areas is undeniably frustrating. As usual with Nintendo, and even with other publishers, it’s often the community that sees itself to correct the issues with the games they feel deeply passionate about. Basically the only difference between Sunburn and an official Sunshine remake or remaster would be a significant layer of polish. That still might happen, but I’m not holding my breath at this point. So if you find yourself feeling similarly as I do about Sunshine, it might be worth it to check Super Mario Sunburn out. Here’s the download link again if you’re curious.