#been getting into peg solitaire lately

[mittsushi]

this guy (again)

[wmhalliwell]

OTP PROFILE GAME!

rules: answer the questions about your favorite ship (all time or current) then tag 10 people to do it too!

tagged by @easilydistractedbyfanfic

tagging: @jakkuvian @jedikencbi @lettersdeeplyworn @themyskiras @hvitserkk @fitzwilliamsdarcy @felicia-parker & anyone else who wants to. i can’t think rn lol

SHIP AND FANDOM: This was hard because I couldn’t remember a single OTP beyond Star Wars but HERE WE GO: Madwife from American Gods because I’m really missing them lately.

MOMENTS:

What were their first impressions of each other?

lol

Laura definitely thought that Sweeney was yet another man on his high horse, cocky af and feeling righteous and she definitely knocked him down a peg. But she was slightly intrigued by how he could tear her down just as much as she tore into him. 

And Sweeney? He hated her. He hated that he killed her, he hated that he HAD to kill her (because she existed), and he hated that she came back and took his coin. She stole his luck, his power, and she was his walking-talking shame. Thought she was a completely crazy bitch but it didn’t take long for him to get the feels.

A moment you think that both/one of them will remember forever about each other:

I want to say ~magic sex~ but that’s just me being petty. I think realistically Sweeney would remember that quiet moment on the side of the road with Salim praying and Laura shutting up for the first time ever and just sitting in the sun smoking looking dead but lovely. Laura doesn’t want to remember him, but she would probably remember that nugget of a memory after he teleported them to the bridge and she said a joke and smiled and he scoffed and smiled.

You know what, that second one may be one they both want to remember because it’s one of the first and few moments they’re both nice to each other.

A moment you think that both/one of them wishes hadn’t happened:

The post-sex argument where he makes her see that the shit between them is real and Laura hits him right where it hurts big time. It led to Sweeney getting himself killed after all. And Laura was just scared. She definitely regretted it after, even if she never tells anyone that.

What is Their Moment for you?

Oh god, where do I begin? I think it really, really hit me that they were a thing when the ice cream truck flips and Sweeney gets his coin. He has it RIGHT THERE but Laura’s strewn out across the road, dead-dead, and he can’t do it. He curses the gods and universe and he gives her back his coin. He never says anything to her about it. I loved them before, but that cemented it for me. I love other moments of course, but that one (even though it’s mostly one-sided) will always be it.

LIFE QUESTIONS:

Marriage? If yes, who proposes?

No. Not unless it’s the only way to bring one or both of them back to life. Laura was married once and it wasn’t great. And Sweeney is...well, he’s been married before too and he isn’t about to do it again. If they do need to, it would be necessity over the desire to be legally bound because they’re already magically bound so it pales in comparison.

Children? If yes, if one had to stay home with them, who would do it?

Nope.

Housing? Where do they live together?

They travel. Seedy hotels. Occasionally a caravan. Maybe one day Laura gets an apartment but they’re rarely in it. 

Pets? Do they get a pet together?

Laura gets another cat: a black kitten that loves to attack Sweeney. Sweeney hates the thing.

PERSON A & B…

Who would kill/remove the spider and who would leave it under a cup and leave the room?

Laura would kill it. Sweeney would hide it so Laura could kill it later.

Who sings all day long and who gets so used to it they don’t even hear it anymore?

Total headcanon but in a perfect world once the war is over and they’re just living life, Sweeney sings a lot. Old songs that Laura can’t understand and it’s annoying at first but then she kind of likes it. Laura doesn’t sing. She’s always the quiet one until she unleashes her sharp tongue.

Who can cook a gourmet meal for two and who can maybe use the toaster?

Laura is a surprisingly good cook when she gives a shit. Sweeney burns everything, even with his luck back.

Who wakes up before the sun rises and who would sleep in until 2pm if they didn’t have an alarm?

Both depending on how they’re feeling. Sometimes Sweeney gets up before the sun and sits in the perfect spot to be bathed in the light and then goes back in and watches Laura sleep until noon because it’s when she looks the sweetest. And sometimes Sweeney’s drunk half a bar and sleeps through the day and Laura gets up early from a nightmare and sits and plays solitaire and pets the cat and eventually flips the mattress to wake him up.

Who is more affectionate/touchy?

Neither are affectionate in public--they have a reputation to uphold duh--but their eyes say a great deal. At home, Sweeney is definitely more touchy but when Laura gets into a mood she can be pretty clingy.

Who wears the other’s hoodies/shirts?

I would love to see Sweeney try to wear anything that fits Laura lol. Laura often snags his shirts and wears them as dresses with a belt. Even the most horrendously patterned ones.

Who said “I love you” first?

Sweeney. Softly while she’s asleep and in a language she can’t understand. They never ever say it to each other, but they know it. It’s there.

[kristannafever]

Mountain Man - Four

Kristanna Modern AU Rated: MA WC: 2922

~Collab with @lukin08

Chapter Index

--------------------------------------

There was no talking between them as Kristoff sat on the stump at the table and pulled off his boots.  Anna sighed as she shucked off her thick layers, happy to be free from them for the night.

He hung all his wet clothes on a hook beside the stove then walked straight over to Anna as she was piling hers into her arms.  He took them from her and hung them with his without a word.

Anna sat down as he walked towards the chest with his clothes.  He rummaged around inside, grabbed the clothing and turned to look at her. “I’m too tired to go outside.  Avert your eyes so I can get changed.”  

She nodded to him and turned around, staring at the cabin door with all kinds of thoughts running through her mind, mostly about how a life like this could be appealing to someone.

“Done,” he mumbled, walking back towards the kitchen.  Anna finally looked towards him.  He was in a flannel pair of pants and a long sleeve t-shirt with a logo too faded to recognize.  

He took a seat across from her at the table. “Are your hands okay?” he asked.

Anna studied him for a moment, realizing there was actually compassion in his eyes.  “Yes, thank you.”

He turned sideways on the stump and leaned back against the wall.  “No, I think it’s more like thank you. You pretty much saved our skins with your… fix.”

He ended it awkwardly and Anna understood he was not used to having someone help him with something.  “At least we didn’t have to sleep in the woods or something.”  She smiled.

His face dimmed. “It’s hard, sleeping out in the open like that.  I’ve had my share.  It’s not very fun.”

He looked sad all of the sudden and Anna had that crushing feeling of loneliness press on her again to realize what kind of life he led.  “So, what do you do when you have down time?” she asked softly.

“Well,” he let out a breath and looked around his small cabin, “I don’t have a lot of it.  Most of the time I work on everything so late that the only energy I have left is to crawl into bed.  And I do have to hunt too.  Sometimes it takes days.  I need moose and caribou to sustain me.  This fall has been pretty rough though.  Hopefully I can get one soon.

“What about when you want to relax?”

“Well, I read.  I cook.  And I do have cards.  I am pretty good solitaire player.”

Anna’s eyes went wide at the prospect of having something to do.  “Want to play a card game?”

He regarded her closely for a moment before he spoke.  “I do have a crib board.”

“No way?” Anna could not contain her excitement.  She had not played crib in an eternity.  

He got up without a word and opened a cabinet in his little kitchen, rummaging around a little before he came up with the prize and brought it back to the table.  

“Wait.  Can I ask, why you have a crib board if you are up here all alone?”

“I brought it with me. It belonged to my grandfather. It’s about the only item I have that I am a little sentimental about,” he said, as he removed the cards from the box and started to shuffle them.  Anna had never seen someone shuffle so well.   His hands were incredibly nimble for how big they were.

Kristoff won the cut and they started to play.  Anna was surprised how good he was at it.  She was going to take it easy on him, thinking that he was a bit rusty, but he was kicking her ass.  After getting skunked, Anna decided that she was somehow going to beat him.  

He smiled as he pegged into the winner’s slot.  It was the first time she had ever seen him do so.  While a little muted by his heavy moustache and long beard, it was lovely none the less.  His expression quickly shifted uncomfortably and Anna realized that she was staring again.

He ran a hand through his shoulder length hair. “So, what are you in the mood for… for dinner?”

“Oh, whatever you were planning on making.  I, don’t need very much.” As soon as she said it her stomach growled very audibly. Anna looked away from his eyes out of embarrassment.  

“I’m hungry too,” he said, then got up and walked over to his small kitchen.

He pulled down a large pot and walked outside to full it with water and placed it on the stove to boil before grabbing down a jar of dried macaroni.  Then he moved the rug that sat in the middle of the cabin to reveal a trap door.   Anna felt silly that she didn’t even realize it was there.  Of course he would have built a cellar for food storage.  

As soon as he lifted the door Anna was hit with a blast of cold air.  That was why he had the rug over the door, to keep out the draft.  He disappeared into the floor and came back quickly with a brown-paper wrapped package and a can of diced tomatoes. Anna closed the door and put the rug back in place for him as he placed the items on the counter.

He grabbed a skillet from one of his cabinets and placed it beside the water on the stove, dumping the contents of the paper inside.  Anna realized it was a package of finely diced meat.  When he added the can of tomatoes, she realized he was making a meat sauce for the pasta.  

The thought of this meal compared to the bland dryness the one the night before made Anna’s mouth water. The saltiness of the canned tomatoes would add some much-needed flavour to the gamy meat.

Kristoff took a seat on the log at his table after the two pots were on the stove.  Anna understood that cooking in that method took its time compared to having a direct flame.  Especially since she could see that the meat was frozen.  She had wanted to help him cook but they only thing they could really do now was wait.

“Want to play a game while it’s cooking?” Anna asked.  “I still need to beat you.”

He chuckled softly. “Sure.” He grabbed the crib board to reset the pegs as Anna shuffled the cards.

They played while they both took turns getting up and stirring the pots on the stove.  By the time the game was finished and Kristoff had skunked her again, the food was done.  He placed the pots on the kitchen counter then grabbed a jar of yellow flakes off the shelf and sprinkled them in the sauce and stirred.

“What’s that?” Anna asked, getting up and going over to where he was standing in the kitchen.

“It’s called nooch.”

“Nooch?”

“Well, nutritional yeast, actually.  Nooch is just a nickname.  It’s the closest thing I can get to making things taste cheesy.”  He chuckled.

“Really?  It doesn’t look very cheesy.” Anna wrinkled her nose up a little at the thought of the weird flakes.

“Here, try.”  He lifted the spoon with some of the sauce and offered it to Anna.  

She leaned forward, blowing a little on the steaming sauce before tasting it.  Damn if he wasn’t right.  There was a delicious cheesy hint to the wonderful sauce.  She let out an unexpected and delighted moan.  “Oh my God, that’s so good.”

Kristoff’s cheeks turned deep red as he cleared his throat and got a set of plates and utensils.  He dished them both in a hearty portion of pasta and split the sauce between the two of them.  Anna found it curious that he was giving her as much as he was dishing in for myself.  Goodness knew with his size that he needed sustenance more than her.  

“Thanks,” Anna said when he offered her the plate.  She sat at the table and started to eat with gusto.  It was a phenomenal meal, considering.  One she couldn’t fathom after last nights dinner, assuming that all the meals would be chewy gamy meat and horrible bitter grains that screamed for salt during her time stuck with Kristoff in his cabin.  

He ate in the same way as the night before and finished before her, despite how fast she herself was eating.  Anna looked down at her remaining food when it suddenly dawned on her.  All of his food was likely packaged in his individual portions.  He wasn’t making enough for two, he was splitting half of his dinner with her. And it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out why.  If hunting was poor, which he just mentioned it had been this past fall, he only had so much protein rich food to sustain himself until he was able to bag another animal.

“Ugh, I’m so full I can’t eat another bite,” she said, pushing back in the chair and patting her stomach.  It was a tiny fib as she was certainly capable of eating the rest of his delicious cooking.   She just felt too guilty to do so. “You want to finish this, Kristoff?”

He eyed her for a moment making her aware that he knew exactly what she was doing.  He reached over for her plate anyway.  “You sure you’re done?” He raised his eyebrows.

Anna nodded, giving him a big smile.

“Alright, as long as you don’t want it.”

“Have at it,” Anna laughed and tried not to stare at him while he finished off the plate.  

When he was done, Anna got up to clear the dishes.  Kristoff beat her to it, having both plates in front of him.  

“Set up the board,” he said as he stood.  “I’ll give you another shot to redeem yourself.”

“Oh, you are on!” Anna grinned and grabbed the cards.

-----

Anna was about to ask if he wanted another game when he yawned.  It caught and Anna did the same, suddenly realizing how tired she was herself.

Kristoff stoked the fire while she went to his bed and crawled into the covers, settling herself on her side as far over as possible.  After a moment Kristoff joined her, leaving a space between them, and Anna realized that it was warmer in the cabin than the night before.  Had he been keeping the fire hotter for her?  Probably.  Most likely not wanting to have to deal with her by using his body heat to keep her warm during the night.

“Thanks for what you did today,” he said, startling her a little.

“Don’t mention it.”

“I mean it.  That fix on the sled.  That was…. Impressive.  It never would have crossed my mind to do it like that.”

“Well, thanks.”

He was quiet for a moment and Anna thought he was settling into sleep.  He surprised her again when he spoke once more.   “Have you lived in Alaska all your life?”

“Yeah,” she answered, rolling over to face him.  His features were visible in the dim lighting given off by the fire in the stove.  “My parents raised my sister and me up in Nome with their plane business. We both learned to fly at a young age.”

“Your father is an outdoorsman?”

Anna chuckled.  “How did you guess?”

“Well, you sure came up with that broken rod solution pretty quick. And mentioning using beaver for the martin traps, I just kind of figured that you had learned that somewhere?”

“Yeah, my father sold beaver pelts as a side business.  He enjoyed the outdoors, definitely.  I swear the only time he was ever in the house when we were kids was to eat and sleep.”  Anna smiled to herself at the memory.  “He was always smiling when he was outside.”

“How long ago did he pass away?”

Anna pulled in a breath, surprised that he had picked up on her use of past-tense.  “About fourteen years ago.  I lost him and my mom.  Their plane went down in the mountains in bad weather.”

“And you were going to try and fly around that storm yesterday?”

Anna frowned in the dark.  “Yeah, I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, does it?”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

She ignored him.  “Flying has never sacred me.  Ever. It never scared my dad either.   I suppose that’s why I kept doing it, ever after the accident and my sister flaked on me.”

He was quiet.  Anna was sure he had had just about enough of her pathetic life story, when he spoke again, as soft as she had ever heard.    “Your sister couldn’t handle being around them anymore?  Planes?”

“You guess it,” she said through a long sigh.  “Elsa never set foot in the hanger after the day they died. She became quite neurotic and spiraled into a bout of heavy depression.  You know… never leaving the house, sleeping too much, not eating, that sort of thing. I got quite worried about her.  It was almost impossible to be there for her and try and run our parent’s business on my own being that young.  That was until Frank stepped into my life in need of hanger space and a business partner when he moved to Nome.”

“He did?”

“He saved my bacon, he really did.  I was on a fast track to a mental breakdown.  He helped me get the business back on track so I could help my sister.  She got better quickly with help, thank goodness, and Arendelle Air finally started to thrive.  Still is, in fact.  Elsa even started to take on some of the responsibly, like the bookwork and stuff like that, even though she does it is all from home.  Can’t get her anywhere near a plane.”

“Sounds like everything is working out,” he said quietly.

“It was, until Frank had a heart attack and they revoked his pilot licence.  He didn’t want to fully retire so he sticks around to help me handle all the ground work. I had to take on all the rest, like flying supplies out to people like you.”

Kristoff was deathly quiet for a moment.  “I… I never knew that… Frank had a heart attack.”

“You never asked,” Anna said, not meaning for it to sound as pointed as it did.

He didn’t respond for a long time.  Anna shifted and rolled back away from him assuming he was finished talking.  

“I’m sorry,” he offered after a moment.

“About what?” Anna asked, still facing away. “Had nothing to do with you.”

“I should have asked.”

“Wouldn’t have changed anything.”

“Still-”

“Listen, Kristoff, I’m not upset or anything.  It’s just what happened.  Goodness knows you have more shit to worry about than a new pilot, like waking up and trying to make it through the day without dying.”

“I know it’s hard to understand this lifestyle-”

“It’s not hard for me to understand.  For me it’s impossible to understand.”

He resumed his silence and they lay there in the dark for a long time, thinking to themselves before Kristoff pulled in a yawn and Anna realised that he was keeping himself awake, not wanting to leave the conversation hanging in the air they way it did before they fell asleep.  Truthfully, neither did she.  Things between them were tense enough already, they might as well try and be civil towards each other since they were sleeping in the same bed.

“We better try and get some sleep, so we are rested for the tasks tomorrow,” she murmured.

“Yes.”

“Goodnight, Kristoff.”

“Goodnight, Anna.”

She felt him settle himself into a position and he was quiet a moment before he whispered.  “Let me know if you get cold.”

“Okay, thank you,” Anna whispered back.

She was dead tired, but she couldn’t fall asleep.  Kristoff had started to breathe long and slow behind her and Anna didn’t like where her mind was going.  She didn’t like that she wanted him to hold her, cold or not.

She stared into the dim cabin, wondering again how he could choose to live a life with no one.

It was a shame really.  He was rough around the edges but he was kind and compassionate.   Just like Frank said, a complete softy inside. Anna could not help but wonder what his life would have been like had he not gotten this crazy notion to live in isolation.  What kind of man would he be then?  What kind of job would he have?  It wasn’t hard to picture him with kids, and a wife, and a dog, and the whole white picket fence bullshit.  Not that he would want that, ever, it just wasn’t a stretch to see him in that roll of doting husband, father and provider.  There was just something in him that made her see that.

Had he not chosen this life.

He snored for a moment before he suddenly moved, rolling over and right up against Anna’s back.  His arm fell loosely around her and he settled back into his deep sleep immediately. Anna was still for a moment before she let her body relax.  She sighed quietly, gently snuggling herself closer to him and letting her eyes slide shut. She realized that being held by him was indeed what she had wanted, and gave into the sleep that pressed on her immediately.

--

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

[rousseaubsc2b]

Date Night In

Sherlock went on a date, and John and I stayed in.

John sat down at the desk with a bowl of rice and beans and I fixed myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. We'd talked earlier about frying some fish, but my blood sugar decided to drop as soon as I made it in and I needed to eat fast. I even had a snack late this afternoon... oh well.

"So," he mentioned as I sat down across from him. "Can you give me a little more insight on what's been going through your mind today?"

I took a bite and sighed. Think think think. "Well... basically what I told you before I left work. It's entirely too obvious that my body is on board with this." I had to laugh. John made a face in agreement, something of a well, yes, very much so. "And my heart... but then my brain goes, wait. You don't understand what you're getting into here."

"Okay."

He knows I don't make eye contact. It's a thing. He doesn't make me, and I tend to look all over when we talk. Right now his spoon is fascinating. "And... it's right."

"All right." A slow nod, he purses his lips. "Tell me more?" It's not so much of a question as it is him asking if I'm able to at the moment.

And John is an extremely patient listener. He gives me time to think and put my words together. He sees me look halfway across the room at something entirely irrelevant.

I am so lucky.

"My brain goes... Is this how you wanted this to be? If you do this, this way, this time in your life, are you going to regret it later? And I've done some reading, it's likely. But then on the way home, while I was driving, it kind of crept into the forefront of my mind."

He looked up. Did not speak a word.

"My body wants its hormones appeased. My heart wants you. My brain wants forever."

A single nod.

"I'm still thinking. I've got something to say, it just won't come together for me in a way you can understand."

"Take your time."

I heard the clock ticking behind me. "I do this thing in my head where I... walk myself through situations in order to better understand them, to figure out how to prepare for it, kind of a rehearsal. And I've... had a little experience in this realm, I suppose, and what happened was... I need all three of those things to do well. Especially the brain part."

I'd confused him at least a little, but he was trying to follow.

"My body is happy, yes. My heart is happy in a relationship. But when that person walks away... and I'm not saying that you are, I'm saying I don't know. It's an unknown right now. I can't help that. So, hypothetically, what if, you know. But with my ex boyfriend... that's what messed me up."

"You two were intimate?"

"We, um... we did some things. And I was upset that he got to do that with me and then leave me. It was... emotionally, it took me a while to process, and I can say that I've put it behind me now. I was sixteen at the time, and I was very attached to him. But I don't like the way that made me feel in the end, not at all. And that emotion I really don't have a word for."

"Okay." His bowl was nearly empty now, and I took the moment of silence to eat part of my sandwich. "So, can I ask, Emma -- are you a virgin?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I thought you might be."

"Is it... that... obvious?"

"Um... Well... maybe a bit. But I will say this, and hear me out. You're very mature about it, and I think that's significant for a couple of reasons."

"Okay."

"One, and you may know this already, but your mind... With autism, it's pretty common for someone to come across as younger than they actually are, and you do. Until you told me, I had no idea you were in your thirties, I would have guessed mid-twenties."

"I get told I look like I'm twenty four all the time."

"You look younger, and your mind -- for whatever reason, whether it's how your brain is wired or if it's an effect of the social aspect of autism -- is "younger" than those of other people your age. I don't know if you've come across that."

"I never really had much common mental ground with my peers in school, especially in my teens. I was just... not on their level. A lot of it was social, a lot of it was anxiety."

"Right. You're working with an entirely different operating system. They're all running Windows and you've got a Mac. And in terms of the incidence of autism, that's not too far off the mark. Anyway, what I was getting at -- I swear, I'll get there eventually -- "

I laughed. It made him smile.

"--One, your brain is younger than normal, and two, with that in mind, you are very emotionally mature about sex. And I find that extremely significant."

I must have given him my puzzled look.

"Because you've gone through all this in your head. You know how your emotions react in certain situations now, you know what you don't want to happen... and... you know what you want in a relationship. Actually, at this point, I don't think want is a strong enough word -- you know what you need, like you said, to do well. To feel safe."

I was thinking. It all felt a bit emotional to me, and I tried hard not to retreat from this. What he said was important and it was truthful, and it told me that he understood. Maybe he understood more than I did. In university once, a professor in one of our pedagogy classes handed us all our evaluation folders, and I opened mine to find a note someone had written about how I had been having mental health problems. We were supposed to be looking at the tests we'd taken, but I couldn't bear to even open mine. I felt exactly the same right now, sitting here across from my boyfriend -- afraid to open that folder, to hear what he'd figured out about me. Afraid to read someone's notes about why I'd made a failing grade.

In some corner of my brain, though, I knew I had no reason to be afraid. A very small corner that said, He's not like the others. He gets you. He's not leaving you.

But what if he does?

John must have noticed I'd zoned out or stopped listening or something, and he reached over to touch my hand. "Emma?"

I hadn't realised I was crying. "Oh God," I wiped my eyes under my glasses. "I'm sorry, I just... I had a... flashback to something."

"You okay?"

I nodded hastily. You don't need my emotional trivia, I promise.

"Tell me those three things you figured out again, walk me through that."

"My hormones, which are completely out of control."

He counted off on his fingers. One. "Biological needs."

"My heart. I love you."

Two. "I love you too. Emotional needs."

"My brain. It wants forever."

Three. "Commitment." I nodded. "You want me, forever."

"Yes."

The way John smiled... his eyes smiled too. They don't do that very often, but I've seen it a couple more times recently. This time, they really smiled. 

"And I mean that," I said, and suddenly the verbal flood opened up. "I'm Catholic, we don't do divorce. Once you marry me -- that's it. You're stuck with me. For good. That's what I want. I want one person to love and do amazing things in bed with, forever. Because the thought of... that not being the case... I-I-I can't do that emotionally. That stuff... emotionally bonds you to someone. It's incredibly strong, and it feels like... like some kind of violation when it's broken. I can't do that, and I won't. It's too much."

Now he smiled like he knew something I didn't. John picked up his phone and searched for something. I watched him. Ate another bite of my sandwich.

"Remember what I said about no pressure," he said, looking up at me without moving his head. "Tell me one thing, though, just out of curiosity: at this point, right now, with everything we've talked about, do you consider yourself emotionally ready for a sexual relationship with someone?"

"Oh, hell no."

He chuckled under his breath, but he smiled too. "Okay." Still looking for something. "Now, put all of that to the side."

"All of it."

"Every bit. Now think about this."

He turned his phone over in both hands and showed me a picture of a ring. Two, actually. Wedding band, too. Simple but very elegant, silver, solitaire with an understated-but-not-plain band. Not gaudy. And a lab diamond, like I'd said I wanted. Diamonds may be other girls' best friends but they're also ungodly expensive and are usually mined under questionable ethical conditions; I'd decided many years ago that a diamond was just not something I wanted the responsibility of keeping up with and/or possibly losing. I couldn't find my car keys if they didn't have a tracker on them. Expensive jewelry did not seem like a wise life choice.

My heart decided to try to run a marathon. I do not take responsibility for the reactions of my face in that moment, it was completely autonomous from the rest of me. "Is that it?"

John bit his lower lip. "Maybe."

I took his phone and looked closer. "Oh, you've pegged me."

Without missing a beat, he murmured, "It'll be here Tuesday."

I must have screamed, because Mrs Hudson came upstairs in quite the hurry.

--Emma

[compfox214]

Games For Sony Clie

Free Games For Sony Clie

Games For Sony Clie

Free Games For Sony Clie Pda

Free Games For Sony Clie

Pocket Mahjongg for Sony CLIE 1.03 is a game inspired by the classic game of Mahjongg solitaire that has now come to your high-resolution color Sony CLIE. Apr 21, 2004 At 4.9 by 3.0 by 0.6 inches, the elegant, dark-gray Sony CLIE PEG-TH55 has the solid feel of a serious handheld. The 3.8-inch, 320x480-pixel transflective TFT screen dominates the face of the device. Palm Desktop for Clie This is Sony's version of Palm Desktop. It has been reported that this version of Palm Desktop which came on the TH55 driver disc works with ALL Clies. Image Converter 1.1 Excellent program for converting videos and images to Clie-compatible formats. Image Converter 1.5. Sony and the Environment How we’re reducing our eco-footprint through energy efficiency and recycling initiatives. Sony Pictures The hub for your favourite movies and TV shows. Sony Music Classic artists to today’s stars, local and global.

News

Reviews

Smartphone & PDA Reviews

RSS

About

GlassWave

As Sony is a media giant, it is no surprise that their latest handheld, the PEG-N710C, has support for playing digital audio. What is a surprise is that it has built-in support for the controversial MP3 format, which is the preferred format for music piracy. Sony would rather people use its ATRAC3 format which has copyright protection. The N710C comes with applications that can play both.

Sony handled this in an unusual way. The N710C comes with a version of its Palm Audio Player and desktop app combo that plays MP3s and a completely different set that plays ATRAC3 files. Neither can play the other format.

To store and play MP3s, all that is necessary besides the player is a regular Memory Stick like the one that comes with the N710C.

To store in ATRAC3, a MagicGate Memory Stick is required. Sony's MagicGate technology is intended to protect digital content. These are white, as opposed to regular Memory Sticks that are blue. Windows 2000 users beware, the ATRAC3 version of the desktop software requires FAT32 and won't work with NTFS.

How much music can be stored on a Memory Stick depends on both the size of the MemStick and the quality the file is saved in. At 132 kbps, a 128 MB MemStick can store 120 minutes of music. At 66 kbps, that jumps up to 240 minutes.

However, the 128 MB MemStick is only available in the MagicGate version and it costs a hefty $300. The largest regular one Sony offers is 64 MB for $140.

Of course, it doesn't matter how much music is stored if the battery is dead. Sony says that during audio playback with the screen off the battery should last about 11 hours but only 3 hours with the display on. They have added a convenient button to turn off the screen while playing music.

Related Articles:

On the Web:

Related Articles.. More articles about General News

Article Comments

(39 comments)

The following comments are owned by whoever posted them. PalmInfocenter is not responsible for them in any way. Please Login or register here to add your comments.

Comments Closed This article is no longer accepting new comments.

MP3 Overhyped and Over Priced!

The most overhyped feature of the Clie is its mp3 player functionality. Compared to standalone mp3 players, the clie costs significantly more due to the excessive price of its memory sticks. Sony must make most of its profits off of selling these sticks and sell its pda at a loss, similar to the razor/razor blade analogy. The maximum capacity of these sticks is only 128 mb at $299 with unwanted copyright protection built in whether you like it or not! I read an article about new Creative Labs mp3 players coming out this September which will offer 6-10GB of storage for, you guessed it, $299 and compact at 3' x 6'. Doing simple math, you get 46 times the amount of memory for the same price! Check the link below to read the full article.

http://www.zdnet.com/products/stories/reviews/0,4161,2706731,00.html

RE: MP3 Overhyped and Over Priced!

Agreed. Not that I have anything against the N710C; I think it's a great step forward in PDA technology. The Memory Stick media is way too overpriced. I can't see myself dropping $500 on a PDA where I have to invest another $200 on data expansion just to listen to 4 hours of music. And if I want to use the PDA while listening, the battery won't last that long anyway.

I use a Sony Minidisc player when I travel myself. Although the transfer of .mp3s is a little more time consuming and the discs take up slightly more space, I'd much rather pay $12 for four hours of music media than $200.

RE: MP3 Overhyped and Over Priced!

Yup. I wouldn't assume that Sony is making a huge profit on these things though - often cost of chip production is a question of scale, and since the demand for Sony's memory stick is much smaller than the other formats, their production costs are probably much higher. This is just one more argument for standard memory expansion.

As you said, I'm not really excited about the new Clie because of the music capability (I use a Sharp MD myself) but I am excited about the audio capability in general. In the japanese version the Clie is rumored to come with software that lets you download video from your PC (i.e. TV programs) that you can view on the Clie. This would be impressive, though it sounds like it would drain the battery pretty fast. I like the idea of having that capability - it would be sort of fun. Though at $300 for 128 megs, it would be very expensive.

BTW the new Minidisc players/recorders can get 320 minutes of music on a standard disc using the new MDLP format - pretty damn cool! I just saw an MDLP recorder that only costs $250 from Minidisco.com, and I might have to buy it.. _________ Syncplicity. Redefining Simple. www.cognitiveroot.com

RE: MP3 Overhyped and Over Priced!

I heard a rumor that the audio capabilities of the new CLIE will NOT be accessible in programs other than the built in Audio Player application. If this is true that means that no games or other multimedia apps could take advantage of its improved sound. If this is true, it would really be poor and carelass implementation on Sony's part. Imagine playing a nice new game on a 320X320 color screen with the same bleeps and bloops for sound effects you could get on a Palm III..

Can anyone confirm or deny thir rumor?

RE: MP3 Overhyped and Over Priced!

That is true. Playing audio is trhrough headphones only. The speaker is more or less the standard PalmOS one (though louder).

RE: MP3 Overhyped and Over Priced!

>I heard a rumor that the audio capabilities of the new CLIE will NOT be accessible in programs >other than the built in Audio Player application.

STOP SPREADING FALSE RUMORS!!! Go read the review by the well-established PalmOS game developers Red Mercury, and you will see that there is an API to access the audio capabilities, and that they think this plus the high-res APIs will take gaming on the PalmOS to new levels.

Atrac vs Mp3

Sony has been pushing the ATRAC format since the introduction of the MiniDisc, (which is the format which they use). Without getting into details of which is better, I would almost think that now would be the time Sony would push this format bigtime with all the controlversal stuff going on with Mp3s and with Microsoft announcing that they want to try and rid the world of Mp3s with in the next several years. I would think that Sony could had a big push with these if they lowered the price on their memory stick which is used to store the ATRAC compressed files. To fork out another $300 bucks is alot of money after tossing in the $500 bucks for the PDA already. I'm sure they'll probably have smaller memory stick for less price, but I'm guess if 128 megs cost $299.00 than the 64 meg one probably will about half of that, which still is alot of money and anything smaller than 64 megs to store music just really isn't cutting it in less you are willing to take a loss of the quality of the file you are listening too.

RE: Atrac vs Mp3

CLIE Users Group Moderator @ 5/2/2001 12:59:22 PM #

While ATRAC is a well-developed algorithm for sound compression (Sony has spent a lot of time researching the psycho-acoustic properties of various compression schemes), MP3 is widespread and has now become the defacto standard for compression. Thanks primarily to the popularity of Napster and other avenues for music 'trading', the MP3 format is here to stay. It's too late to get MP3 back into Pandora's box, and even Sony now realizes this. To not offer MP3-playing while competitors have it would result in a marketing catastrophe for Sony, no matter ho good their PDA design is.

They will also soon realize that selling overpriced Memory Stick media will hurt them in the long run, now that much cheaper alternatives are available. Remove cold turkey.

It's always difficult for companies to accept that their formats are not accepted as 'standards', but Sony will have to adapt to the current market realities whether they like it or not. CLIE Users Group website:

Memory Stick is overprice when comparing with CF, MMC

Not only the memory stick is overprice when comparing with MP3 player on the market using MMC, harddisk or so.

CF card and MMC card costs less than half the price for the same capacity, up to 128MB.

Sony is making huge profit margin.

Looks like the MP3 feature of N710C is not attractive any more due to this.

Free Games For Sony Clie

RE: Memory Stick is overprice when comparing with CF, MMC

My source says SONY knows their prices are high compared to the market and are planning on reducing the price in the near future. Maybe the Clie sales will bring down the price given that MP3 is a selling feature.

There will be 128MB MS

Sony's own site for the new CLIE actuallys shows a 128MB purple Memory Stick. 'Available soon.' techtv states such a beast will cost a whopping $230. Ouch.

RE: There will be 128MB MS

ecost.com sells it for $151. Go check it out if you don't believe me.

Memory stick use..

Am i right in saying that one can defintely run programs off the memory stick. You don't need to first copy the program to the ram as in the case of the m505..

And you can store mp3's and whatever else you want on the stick?

Also, does anybody know whether it will be able to read data from other memory sticks such as a sony digital camera???

RE: Memory stick use..

CLIE Users Group Moderator @ 5/2/2001 1:15:32 PM #

In order to run programs directly from the Memory Stick, you would need PalmOS 4 and a program that was designed to take advantage of its new API.

To automatically 'read' programs without having to copy the entire program into RAM, you would need to install a program called MSMount, currently being beta tested by thousands of CLIE users around the world. This program works very well and will likely be formally released soon. Sony should purchase MSMount and include it as part of the standard software.

You can download the latest version of MSMount here: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/CLIE_Users_Group/files/MSMount%200.6.5.zip CLIE Users Group website:

RE: Memory stick use..

MSMount works with Sony's VFS which is compatible with the OS 4 VFS. Theoretically, if this is the way it accesses MS, then MSMount should also work on any device with VFS. As a matter of fact, TRGPro users who have the latest OS 3.5.2 with VFS, and who have tried out MSMount find that it works although with some problems as would be expected of a beta software. Therefore, the author of MSMount should probably rename his/her software to CardMount as it should also work for M50x which has VFS. The only problem with M50x is the speed of accessing the slower SD/MMC compared with CF or MS.

MSMount loads in parts of the program/database into RAM. It loads only the records that are required and hence needs less RAM than the actual file size. What this means in practical sense is the ability to store a dictionary/encyclopaedia that is greater than 8MB and stil be able to access it on the Clie/Handera etc.

BTW does anyone know how MS compares with CF in terms of speed of transfer of information?

https://compfox214.tumblr.com/post/653861859791880192/wrench-force-shock-pump-manual. Next, we counted the strokes needed to reach a specific pressure on the ShockWiz and noted the deviation on the pump gauge once we reached that pressure. This allowed us to compare the recorded pressure with the display on the pump itself, as well as measure the pressure equalisation when attaching the pump. We’re aware that a ShockWiz can’t replace high-precision laboratory equipment, but standard pump gauges can’t either.

Clie's audio player

anybody know where the Clie's audio player can be downloaded for trial?

RE: Clie's audio player

The audio player cannot be downloaded. It ships with the device itself.

RE: Clie's audio player

damn. if that's the case, maybe i can try beaming the program from the clie to my prism..now, i have to find a demo unit that's working..

RE: Clie's audio player

Hmmm .. I thought the audio player needs the headphone jack that the Clie has? Prism has no such sound hardware I believe.

RE: Clie's audio player

that's true, but it would be interesting to just see how the program works in another Palm Powered unit, yes? =)

RE: Clie's audio player

I have another Sony Clie with the audio device but no application. If you guys can send me the audio player, I really appreciate it. Please send me to: rajsneh@yahoo.com

Thanks, Raj

Memory stick

The Audio playback is not a big thing for me. Since I own Sony DSC-P1. It's a big thing for me to be able to use the picture taken from my digicam and display it on clie. And it's better to buy 2 64's than 1 128 Memory stick.

RE: Memory stick

Same thing here.. I have a dsc-s50 and use a 64mb memory stick along with a 32mb. The biggest thing that could have stopped me from getting one was the MG memory stick and no mp3. I can do both along with let the models see the pics on one memory stick while I shoot more pics with the other memory stick with a different model..

RE: Memory stick

Attention, I live in Vancouver and couple days ago I Found that 64MB MS cost $200 and 128MB MS cost 380, So it's cheaper to buy 128MB.

New Clie

This unit has awful battery life. I'm not sure that it would last me a full day of use and music playback. Peace Out Alan

RE: New Clie

Try putting the CLIE in the 'Hold' mode when you are listening to the music! THat way, it will increase your battery life; take it out of the 'hold' mode when you have to lookup something.

MP3 Playback & Screen

I had several thoughts about the new color Clie: First of all, according to Sony's web site, a 64MB memory stick costs $140. For about $10 more (last time I checked on palmgear) you can get a 64MB MP3 springboadr module! The Sounds Good - I paid more for mine but I like it because it uses very little power from my Prism battery - I can listen for about 2 hours without draining the batteries more than 5% or so (as long as I leave the prism off..) plus - MULTITASKING

Games For Sony Clie

I can listen to music and read avantgo, play games .. on the sony you have to stay in the stupid MP3 app all the time you're listening :p Also, who cares about a 320*320 screen with only 8 bit color?? For text it would be very nice - but it could just as well be b&w The real advantage of a color screen is graphics - and don't let anyone tell you that 8 bit looks almost as good as 16 or 32. no way. Sony would need to either focus on a cool graphics/multimedia machine - maybe built in sound & MP3 hardware, and a 16 bit color screen - or make a good basic unit..

RE: MP3 Playback & Screen

What I am more interested is whether you can play a song (i.e. mp3) as an alarm ?

RE: MP3 Playback & Screen

Could not agree more! Have the soundsgood in my Visor Deluxe (Which is awsome, btw) and the total package costs 350, for 64mb of pure MP3 sound. Granted, not color, but I can multitask, and can spend my money on other stuff. Sony is playing a 'gotcha' game with this new device - Advertising it's MP3 capabilities, but charnging a massive price for memory - which the less-research concience people out there would not realize until too late! I wonder how much you could store on the included 8mb stick..if 64MB = 1 hour, then 1/8th of that would be..12 minutes..maybe 2.5 songs..bummer..

-M.Ross

RE: MP3 Playback & Screen

Regarding the multitasking comment, that is incorrect. I currently am using a 'localized' N700C. I am able to listen to music and perform other tasks - Avantgo (which I love), check schedule and addresses, etc.

As far as the 320X320 screen, fonts (particularly the medium size font) are finer, and in my opinion, easier on the eyes. I had a chance to live with both the Prism and N700C for a week before deciding to hand off the Prism to my father. Gfx file download.

I agree that the colors on the Prism are much more vibrant than on the N700C - I do miss that. However, I prefer the appearance of photos on the N700C over the Prism despite the color difference because of the finer pixels - my opinion. I can't knock the Prism screen - I still think it's the best Palm OS screen when viewed indoors. But, I'll take that compromise for the ability to view the N700C screen outdoors - came in handy today on the golf course to jot down a note.

At this point, not having seen an m505 in person, I think the Prism and N700C are the best color Palm OS devices today. Of course, the old IIIc is not so bad considering the now low-$200 price point.

https://compfox214.tumblr.com/post/654052434861228032/counter-strike-old. Counter-Strike: Global Offensive was the fourth release in the main, Valve-developed Counter-Strike series in 2012. Much like Counter-Strike: Source the game runs on the Source engine. It is available on Microsoft Windows, OSX, and Linux, as well as the Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 consoles, and is backwards compatible on the Xbox One console. Post news RSS Counter-Strike: Old Offensive v4.9 Released A little summary over what we did change on the mod, or what we removed you know. Posted by SplitXPlayZ on Aug 24th, 2020. While the developer is fixing the problem, try using an older version. If you need the previous version of Counter-Strike, check out the app's version history which includes all versions available to download. Download prior versions of Counter-Strike for Windows. All previous versions of Counter-Strike are virus-free and free to download at. Download full and free classic Counter-strike 1.6 original version. The current widespread Counter-Strike 1.6 original version was released in 2003. The original classic version is the most popular. In Cs 1.6 original version is put only standard players, weapons, ammunition models and standard sounds. The game is completely configured.

RE: MP3 Playback & Screen

I forgot to mention battery life - under most office lighting conditions I am able to easily view the N700C screen with the backlight off. I've been able to go 5 days of heavy use (music, note taking, games, reading) by selectively switching off the backlight - can't do that with the Prism!

Free Games For Sony Clie Pda

RE: MP3 Playback & Screen

Regarding 8bit color on the Clie.. From what I've been reading the device uses an 'adaptive palate' for displaying images. Even though the device is limited to 256 colors, it can display any 256 colors at a time. This means that the display will optimize itself for images/applications and, in most cases, will appear to have a higher color depth than 256.

Free Games For Sony Clie

2c

RE: MP3 Playback & Screen

Sounds like I was wrong about multitasking: does anyone have experience with this? Is MP3 playback run by dedicated hardware vs the main processor?

RE: MP3 Playback & Screen

CLIE N700/N710 has a DSP for music playback, therefore multitasking is possible. Infact, I don't think one could play MP3s with old DragonBall VZ, even overclock it to 42MHz.

RE: MP3 Playback & Screen

What's the point of the Sony Clie being able to play MP3 as alarms? You can hardly hear anything from that tiny speaker. Maybe they should have thought of a real speaker that you can hear like on the TRGPro and HandEra 330.

Voice Recorder (MP3/Atrac) would help nullify naysayers

If Sony had included a built-in microphone and software that encoded to MP3 or Atrac, then there would be significantly fewer complaints.

It would be cool to be able to record a meeting in MP3 format. I'm sure other PDAs can do voice recording, but this functionality would legitimize the audio capabilities of the CLIE.

RE: Voice Recorder (MP3/Atrac) would help nullify naysayers

YEAH RIGHT. a 33 mhz processor can encode mp3's. how long would that take? 5 hours?

RE: Voice Recorder (MP3/Atrac) would help nullify naysayers

The CLIE already has an additional chip to allow it to DEcode MP3/ATRAC3 audio. Couldn't this handle the ENcoding?

RE: Voice Recorder (MP3/Atrac) would help nullify naysayers

The encoding process takes longer and is more complex than the decoding process -- so it is not as simple as use the same chip.

News Higlights

Latest Comments

RE: Don't we have this already? -Tuckermaclain

RE: Palm brand will return in 2018, with devices built by TCL -richf

RE: Palm brand will return in 2018, with devices built by TCL -dmitrygr

Palm phone on HDblog -palmato

Palm PVG100 -hgoldner

RE: Like Deja Vu -PacManFoo

Like Deja Vu -T_W

RE: Don't we have this already? -richf

Latest Reviews

[chiseler]

IT’S QUARTER TO THREE... IDA LUPINO SINGS

“I have a lovely voice. I sang ‘Smoke Gets in Your Eyes’ five times. He was loaded.” Thus Ida Lupino explains how she came by a $50 tip in Private Hell 36, the last, leanest, and in many ways best of three films in which she played nightclub singers—canaries very much at home in the coal mine of noir. She makes a perfect 3 a.m. saloon singer, with a sound that brings its own dim lighting and haze of nicotine. She sings for the lonely, for the losers, but without a trace of tears or sentiment. That lovely voice is so dry it could be used to salt sidewalks. It belongs to a woman who has no more pity for others than she does for herself.

Girlishly slight, with big widely spaced eyes, Ida Lupino played a lot of hard-luck waifs with bruised hearts and faces. As Warner Brothers’ backup for Bette Davis she played a lot of glamorous sufferers and scenery-chewing neurotics. But playing women who sing for their supper, Lupino settled into another character: the wised-up, independent dame who more than holds her own in a man’s world ruled by muscles, money and guns.

In The Man I Love (Raoul Walsh, 1947), Lupino’s singing was dubbed by Peg La Centra. Her throaty contralto is fairly plausible coming from Lupino’s mouth, but it’s a rather glossy, weepy sound—a fitting sound for the rather glossy, weepy melodrama this turns out to be. Nonetheless, there is much to enjoy in the tale of a nightclub singer named Petey who visits her family in Los Angeles for Christmas, sorts out their problems (a wartime tsimmes of shell-shocked husbands, straying wives, and kid brothers falling in with bad company), while fending off a lecherous nightclub owner and smiling through an unhappy love affair.

Petey is a standard tough-on-the-outside, soft-in-the-center woman’s-movie heroine, who can easily stand up to a grief-crazed gunman (she simply steps in and beats the stuffing out of the would-be assassin, sending both him and his intended victim home with their tails between their legs) but who self-punishingly devotes herself to a man who treats her badly. She falls for San (Bruce Bennett), a once-promising pianist who has been stewing in booze and self-pity ever since being given the brush by his socialite wife.  San is mopey and churlish, and he plays the kind of pretentious symphonic jazz that Hollywood took for high art, but we just have to buy that she loves him. Part of the problem, of course, is that he’s played by Bruce Bennett, who is adequate but lacks the dark appeal and tortured charisma that someone like Robert Ryan or John Garfield—both of whom had terrific chemistry with Lupino—could have supplied.

The real music in the film is not Lupino’s singing but her dialogue. The lines aren’t really so brilliant, as you realize if you try to quote them, but the quick, casual way she tosses them off creates the impression of someone so sharp, so with-it, that she can’t help herself. Take her marvelous exchange with a cab driver who spouts corny old saws; she responds with an off-hand, half-amused, half-annoyed teasing that goes completely over his head. A huge hit that marked Lupino’s peak as a popular star, The Man I Love illustrates two sides of her screen persona: one high-strung and emotional, the other wisecracking and deadpan—a “strong, aged-in-the-wood woman,” to borrow from another Gershwin tune.

Just such a dame takes the spotlight in Road House (Jean Negulesco, 1948). Eyeing her in a bar, a man remarks admiringly, “She reminds me of the first woman who ever slapped my face.”

This time Lupino does her own singing, thank you very much. The script gives her cover with a story about how she studied opera in her youth, was pushed too hard and lost her voice; and with the back-handed compliment delivered by Celeste Holm, “She does more without a voice than anyone I ever heard!” It also gives her terrific songs to sing and excellent, bluesy piano arrangements. Lupino was highly musical (it was in her blood—she was descended from a long line of English music-hall entertainers), and her delivery and sense of rhythm, conveyed as much by her naked shoulders as by her face or voice, make her entirely convincing as a professional. But that voice—hoarse, spent, like the sound of someone who gargles with cheap Scotch—needs no excuses. It’s not pretty or melodic, but it sounds the way a good drink makes you feel: dry, self-possessed, casting a calm and amused eye on its own depth of feeling. Lupino stakes a solid claim to the great Harold Arlen-Johnny Mercer standard “One for My Baby (and One More for the Road),” which was written for Fred Astaire and claimed by Frank Sinatra. (It is interesting to note that the other essential saloon song, “Angel Eyes,” was introduced in the Lupino vehicle Jennifer, though she doesn’t sing it.) She makes “Again,” an alluring but potentially sappy tune, into an elegant vermouth concoction. And she really gets hot with the boogie-woogie number “The Right Kind,” standing up at the piano and giving way, just once, to uncomplicated enjoyment.

Like The Man I Love, Road House introduces Lupino as a tough cookie and then feels obliged to dunk her in a pretty soggy plot. Her early scenes are priceless: playing solitaire with her shoes off and her legs propped up on the desk of a man she’s never met; setting her cigarettes down on the edge of the piano while she plays, so they leave a row of burn marks like the notches on a gunfighter’s piece; slapping Cornel Wilde hard across the face and then crooning mockingly, “Silly boy.” She’s Lily Stevens, an entertainer from Chicago hired by the smitten Jefty (Richard Widmark) for his road house in the woods near the Canadian border. She’s magnificently jaded, with a bored mask of a face that dares you to judge her blonde hairdo rather silly; an air all the time of being detached, preoccupied, yet never missing a trick.

It might be credible that Lily would—out of sheer boredom in this wholesome one-horse town—decide to toy with Pete (Cornel Wilde), Jefty’s hostile, sulky right-hand man. But that she would find true love with this chiseled block of wood, who teaches her to bowl and takes her swimming in the lake, is not something one wants, at any rate, to believe. Halfway through, the movie shifts gears to become the story of an innocent couple persecuted by an obsessively jealous lunatic. Richard Widmark takes over, giving his fans what they want—maniacal giggles, spine-chilling cackles, and twisted streaks of pathos—but the story devolves into an overheated drama played out in a very fake sound-stage forest flooded by an overactive fog-machine.

Finally, in Private Hell 36 (1954), Lupino plays a canary who’s not required to trade her wry quips for damp hankies. By now the aging-in-wood process is complete. No smoke gets in her eyes, though there is plenty in her voice. Tears in her baby blues would be as out of place as rain-clouds in the Sahara, and her heart is now as bone-dry as her pipes. The one song she favors us with, more talked than sung, is a warning—or taunt—to any suitor that she won’t fall in love, she’s not like other women—“Didn’t you know?” The man she sings it to falls for her like a ton of bricks.

Her name is Lilli Marlowe, and when a cop who comes to question her suggests that sounds a little phony, she doesn’t deny it, but claims it’s so long since she used her real one that she can’t remember it. Bored with the interrogation, she quips, “You know, I’ve seen all this on Dragnet,” which hints at the movie’s attitude towards the genre conventions of the police procedural.

It starts like any standard-issue policier, with a robbery and murder that will spark the plot when some of the stolen money turns up in Los Angeles. A pair of detective sergeants, Cal (Steve Cochran) and Jack (Howard Duff), are assigned to track down the hot bills, which is how they wind up in a nightclub in the sleepy afternoon hours, pitching questions at the house chanteuse while she sits between them, giving nothing away except an endless supply of evasive, needling wisecracks.

Directed by Don Siegel and co-written by Lupino, Private Hell 36 was a production of The Filmmakers, the production company she formed with her then-husband Collier Young in 1948. Her original desire was to make socially conscious films about ordinary people: her early efforts cast a compassionate eye on unwed mothers (Not Wanted) and the handicapped (Never Fear). When these earnest films predictably failed to catch fire at the box office the company turned to crime, releasing tough, stripped-down gems like Lewis R. Foster’s Crashout and Lupino’s own masterpiece, The Hitch-Hiker. There was more pulp melodrama behind the scenes at The Filmmakers than in front of the camera. Lupino divorced Young but continued their business partnership; she married frequent co-star Howard Duff, though you would never guess there was anything between them from watching Private Hell 36, in which he shares a bed with Dorothy Malone while she plays sexy scenes with Steve Cochran. Collier Young would go on to marry Joan Fontaine, whom Lupino cast as her fellow wife in The Bigamist. One can only imagine what the mood was like on the sets of these films.

The central relationship in Private Hell 36 is between the two cops, longtime partners and friends but near opposites. Cal, introduced through a realistically violent brawl in which he shoots a would-be robber, is quickly established as glib, vain and callous. When Jack, a straight-arrow who has a wife and baby, mourns the death of a fellow cop, Cal shrugs, “Stop taking it so hard. He wasn’t your brother.” But the men have an easy, fraternal rapport; when Cal complains that the attempted robbery has made him late for a date, Jack suggests, “Tell her you’re sorry, you had to shoot a man. If she loves you she’ll understand.”

When the two finally track down the original thief and find a suitcase full of cash, Cal pockets some of it, urging his partner to “relax” and “take it easy.” Jack is horrified, and objects—yet he goes along with the theft, even as guilt poisons his life. Does he do it out of greed, out of loyalty to Cal, or out of fear of exposing his initial lapse? It’s hard to say, but his combination of righteous talk and weak will makes Jack hard to like, while the unscrupulous Cal grows more sympathetic as he falls for Lilli.

Their scenes together are the high point of the film. At first, they share that brand of hostile banter that film noir took over from screwball comedy, slowed down and left to simmer on the back burner. “If you’ve got time to kill, why don’t you blow your whistle and arrest somebody?” Lilli sneers when Cal shows up at her door. She doesn’t like cops. Cal pretends he’s come to follow up on the questioning about the man who gave her the $50; when he asks how long she’s known him, Lilli responds with bright bitterness, “All my life. Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed I’d meet a drunken slob in a bar who’d give me fifty bucks and we’d live happily ever after.” She takes most of the conversational tricks, but Cal can talk her language. When she sarcastically says she doesn’t know how to thank him, he leers, “I bet you do.”

If only life were like this.

Without the tiniest trace of effort, Lupino gives us a woman of the world; only the perfection of her jaded poise suggests how hard it was won. How old is she? Lupino was 36, but Lilli Marlowe is both ancient and ageless. She has heard all the questions and knows all the answers—to quote Barbara Stanwyck in The Purchase Price (1933), another world-weary nightclub singer who can’t sing worth a damn. Lilli is always tired; it always seems to be 3 a.m., and her feet hurt and her shoulders are sore and she’s seen it all and she’s sick of cops and drunks in bars who want you to sing “Smoke Gets in Your Eyes” while they cry in their beer. She lives in a drab hall bedroom with a small Scottie dog named Murgatroyd. But she hasn’t given up hoping—for a diamond bracelet, for a trip to Acapulco, for the right man to come along. More than any of these things, though, she wants her independence; to go where she wants and do as she pleases. When Cal starts getting too possessive, she tries to ditch him and head to Las Vegas.

Steve Cochran is on Lupino’s wavelength in a way that Howard Duff, onscreen, never was. Handsome and swarthy, Cochran played a lot of slick, cruel, egotistical gangsters like Big Ed in White Heat, probably his best-known role. But he was capable of much more, as he proved in Tomorrow is Another Day, an unusually delicate and character-rich B noir, and in Antonioni’s bleak, melancholy Il Grido. Cochran had a strangely sweet smile and an unexpectedly light voice; both could contribute to his icy menace, but they could also suggest a gentle soul under the macho exterior. As Cal, he portrays a shallow, selfish man who is nonetheless capable of tenderness and deep feeling; his love for Lilli is the one true thing in his grabby, amoral life.

Like so many noirs, Private Hell 36 (the number is that of the trailer Cal rents to stash their stolen loot) is about the corrupting force of money. Even Jack is not immune; when they spend time at the racetrack searching for a criminal, he speaks with bitter awe about the sight of so much money being tossed around like confetti, while he works hard for a modest living. Lilli is always talking about her desire for money and the things it buys, not so subtly implying that a man who wants her had better have the dough to afford her. Cal is acutely susceptible to this pitch, eager to dazzle her with his ill-gotten gains. She quickly intuits what he must have done and doesn’t blame him, but in the end she suddenly realizes that perhaps they don’t need the money; perhaps their love is enough.

Alas, this mature, intelligent, tough-minded film is badly marred by its ending. It’s a typically moralizing, simplifying, Code-imposed conclusion, made much worse by being far too abrupt, sketchy, and dependent on events that have happened off-screen. And it does not, as it should, give the last word to Lilli, though we can easily imagine how she will shrug her shoulders and keep going, not missing a beat. If she had the last word she would say: well, that’s how it goes. There’s no cure except to move on, so you might as well have one more for the road.

by Imogen Sara Smith