#been doing some thinking now that I'm in a he/him state and very definitive ace for the foreseeable future

[neverendingford]

.

[loveephia]

hii this is my first time requesting (ever) 💀 and i read the “first kiss with kenma”, could i maybe request first kiss with sakusa? 😽💗

:¨ ·.· ¨: ハイキュー!! your first kiss with sakusa kiyoomi . . .

`· . ꔫ . . . suna ver. | kenma ver.

+ kuroo ver.

a/n: WOAH WHAT ngl i'm honored to be answering your first ever request. ALSO, I READ YOUR REPLIES ON MY SHADOWBAN SITUATION, AND THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT!! ENJOY READING MOOT HEHEHE!!!

⚠ warning/s: none.

- sakusa kissed you first.

- a shocker, i know.

- it was during the first few months of you dating, and you, being the teddy bear girlfriend that you are, are always around sakusa. bugging him, even.

- since you know that sakusa doesn't really have a liking for physical contact, you shower him in words of affection, do acts of services, you name it!

- whatever gets his attention.

- "hey, omi, close your eyes." you instruct. he does as you say and waits impatiently for the next step, "now what?"

- "what do you see?"

- "nothing."

- "that's my world without you, omi."

- "that's it, i'm leaving." he gets up from his chair, all the while ignoring your laughter.

- later that day, you were approached by your friends at lunch. they usually gushed about their own boyfriends, even asking one another for advice.

- "_____ has been really kind to me lately. he's been treating me to my favorite muffins!"

- "i can't believe that _____ gave me a hug at the school entrance this morning. i'm so embarrassed.."

- "hey, y/n, how about you tell us some stories about you and japan's number one ace?" one of your friends teased.

- you widen your eyes at the sudden mention before coughing, "i told him a joke this morning. he seemed to find it funny." you giggled to yourself, replaying the memory in your imaginative mind.

- "that's it?" your friend asked, "no hand holding or anything?"

- another friend sighed, "don't expect so much from sakusa. after all, the only time he'll even come remotely close to people is in volleyball."

- your friends all laughed at that. you were starting to feel down about what they've said, mostly regarding your boyfriend.

- actually.. you don't even remember the last time you've touched sakusa.

- what if all this time you've just been a nuisance to him?

- maybe you should go talk to him about your troubles later..

- you excuse yourself from the group, all gloomy, and your friends notice. they make a mental note to apologize later.

- you're walking in the semi-empty hallways of itachiyama, about to enter your next class, when you bump into sakusa.

- he turns around harshly, about to scold whoever touched him, until he sees that it's just you. your expression was unsettling to sakusa because you were usually very cheerful and smiley.

- "what's wrong, y/n?" he asks.

- "should we, uhm.." you start, "break up?" your voice came out tiny, feeling meek.

- "wait, what?" you've never heard sakusa's tone so caught off guard before. he sounds genuinely confused.

- "aren't i bothering you?" you look up at him, "i've always wanted to hold your hand, hug you, kiss you even, but i don't think that you'll allow me, so i try to get your attention in other ways. i must be so annoying.."

- sakusa didn't expect this, but he definitely knew that this conversation would come up one day.

- he next does the unexpected. he pulls his mask down and gives you a kiss.

- quietly, sakusa has been jealous. he sees the way that you cling onto your friends, always giving them your loving hugs. his pride just.. didn't allow him to say anything.

- when he pulls away, he sees your face, shocked from what just happened. he can tell that you're hopelessly trying to process it all. he finds it cute.

- "i don't want to break up." he states factually. "i can't stand imagining you with another boy who'll get all of your love and affection. call me selfish, but i really like you."

- "and who said that you couldn't touch me? you're my girlfriend. do i have to remind you that once we get married in the future, we're gonna have to kiss—?" "o- okay, that's enough!"

- this was an unforgettable memory of yours, so much so that you shared it with sakusa's family, who are now known as your in-laws.

© lowercase intended | loveephia

[rulanarinrush]

very disjointed thoughts on ch2

Please note that this isn't a theory. While I talk about the likely culprits of this case, I'm not making any definitive statements about who the killer is. I state who I think the killer is, but like. It's probably wrong, anyway. We don't have that much information yet.

Please note that some stuff might be wrong because I haven't gone back and rewatched the entirety of drdt ch2. If there's something wrong in here you can let me know.

Let's start with the gym tape. While I've seen many people point that only Eden, Teruko(did not do it, assuming we have a reliable narrator) or Ace could have grabbed the gym tape, but I also think it's possible that Levi could have taken it. This is due to our limited view from Teruko's POV. When Ace is having his home invasion Open Up! breakdown in front of Nico's door, after Levi offers to help him with his neck, Ace has his little we no besties spiel and then goes to his room. I think this because we hear a door slam immediately afterwards. Is it possible he just ran to the infirmary? Yes, but we know the infirmary has a sliding door. If he closed the door that hard we hear a slam, considering how far apart the living quarters are from the infirmary, I'm quite impressed by how stable that sliding door is. He really has no other reason to go to any other room while his neck is bleeding. But notably, we hear Levi walk off before Teruko decides that it's time to let the plot pass. Where did he go? It's possible he just went to the infirmary, but we also don't know where Eden went. Maybe Eden followed him to the gym? Maybe she gave him the sticky tape because he wanted it for some reason?

I can't refute the idea that maybe someone was in their room and overheard everything, we know from the cactus scene that the rooms aren't soundproof, and then decided to pick up the gym tape later. I also can't refute the idea that Ace could still be Arei's killer due to again, the gym tape and the resistance band from like. I want to say episode 2 or 3? Sorry I'm too lazy to rewatch things I immediately can't remember. I also... don't remember if it actually is a resistance band, as I'm not well-versed in gym equipment(Teruko moment), but I want to say so. I think it's fairly obvious some sort of contraption, probably a pulley lever of some kind, was used to kill Arei due to the scuff marks on the playground equipment that are fairly straight that indicate that there was a rope tied to there, and the friction from the rope took the paint/created the scuff marks off as the water filled jugs with the fish in it had enough combined mass to create enough force to snap Arei's neck when she dropped(hence why the handles on the jug are broken), all this to say that the resistance band could have been used to bind everything together, as the synthetic rubber would be unlikely to break even when stretched a lot. In a show with a limited runtime, they're not gonna just drop a detail like "Ace has the resistance band" and not use it somehow now, or in a later chapter. chekhov's gun or smth like that i dunno

*

Let's talk the infirmary scene. I regret to tell you that my brain is made of sponge and I don't remember what day of ch2 Arturo decides to bend a full 60 degrees downward and threaten a girl only 13 inches taller than Levi's boobs, but I do remember that the conversation about Arturo's secret only happens before Arei intervenes. She does hear the tail end of it, which maybe means the killer decided to run a lap around the place and come back later once they saw Arei, but that... just does not make any sense to me. (So like, how would Arei have not caught someone else just eavesdropping in front of the infirmary? It's a sliding door without anything like a potted plant to hide behind). Basically, how does the killer know both that Eden has Arturo's secret and that Arei promised to do anything for Eden? I'll get to that later but I don't think that's a plot hole. I think this detail is actually extremely relevant and something Charles catches on to in his refutation of the crime.

It's also entirely possible that Eden's the killer and this is an irrelevant thing to bring up, but. We'll get to that later too. I wish I put in more than two seconds of thought before writing this.

*

Here I'd like to discuss the cliffhanger we were left on, aka Charles' refutation of the time. (Honestly, I don't even remember what time David was in the relaxation room, possibly rendering this entire write up moot but whatever...) Charles is an interesting character in a class trial because his perspective on the crime is going to be different from everyone else. Since he can't be looking at our strung up victim, he basically has to visualize the crime soon based on details orally told to him. In other words, he's less likely to make assumptions than even us as viewers. This is kind of awkward considering I just said he doesn't make assumptions but like. Consider, for a moment, what we've been assuming about this crime. So much of the 10th??? episode is based on the contents of the note. Now, I'm not going to say the note is completely irrelevant to the case. But why are we taking all the evidence left behind that the killer, who likely has no witnesses or at least has an accomplice that's helping them, at face value?

Why are we assuming that note isn't a fake piece of evidence, basically. Not in the sense that it's completely irrelevant, as I believe that note is going to be the killer's downfall ironically enough, but why are we assuming that Arei ever got that note at all? Who's to say that the killer didn't just write that note up after killing Arei, then tore it up and put in the trash so they'd have fewer people actually investigating the crime scene? It's an incredibly smart piece of misdirection actually, considering how good it was at breaking David's mind over the guilt he feels in "convincing" Arei to try to be a better person.

This is why I believe that there isn't a plot hole when it comes to the killer knowing both Arei's promise to Eden and that Eden has Arturo's secret. I believe that the crime never occurred at 7:30, sometimes either before or after that time, at the crime was a spontaneous one after a confrontation with Arei. If Arei divulged this information, it would explain a lot of things.

I acknowledge this is also a giant assumption that's probably wrong. Essentially, I'm imagining that Charles did what is kind of like a proof by contradiction(think the most common way of showing √2 is irrational) and he's putting all the evidence he knows together and thinking "if I assume this is wrong, do other things begin to make sense?" and if you think that the time is wrong, many other things about the case begin to fall into place.

I think a lot of the reason we take the note at face value is because of how straightforward the first trial was, and Min was under a lot of duress. Much of the evidence was extremely helpful at nailing her as the killer(the water especially) and I don't really consider the out of order sign to be fake evidence, since it made the light switch even more conspicuous. I was waiting for the reveal that Min gave the water to somebody only to find out that Min was the killer. Anyway, this is also why I don't think Eden or Arturo is the killer. Not in the sense that they have no motive, but like. If they were the killer, why on earth would you leave that note behind? Why wouldn't you eat the note cookie monster style or just flush it down the toilet? It's just paper. One of the key components of dr trials is trying to frame another person for your crime(like Min) because a "perfect crime" is essentially impossible in such a tight, cramped setting. Eden really has no reason to leave that behind, especially for a crime this good. It's just weird to me that you would set up this whole contraption(which i believe was done to give Arei the least amount of pain as possible because like. Why wouldn't you just bind her wrists and drown her in the relaxation room pond then? It saves you way more trouble than going fish scooping with the water. Death from spinal cord injuries generally??? cause near instant death) and then just assume "they're never gonna look through the trash" cuz like... okay... why even bother ripping it up then... why leave that there if you didn't want it to be found? It places too much suspicion on Eden.

That was a lot of yapping for what is essentially Charles' quote during the trial, "Are you simply saying you took the killer's Arei's words at face value?"

*

motives!! my favorite. (please pretend this is a good transition) i love thinking about how weirdly worded these are, and why is the mastermind so weirdly sympathetic to Xander? "Your family is dead and you deserve to feel bad about it you were a selfish little boy" essentially conveys the exact same thing and all the "boohoo, but it's not your fault" at the end (Xander is one of my favorite characters I'm just mean) is completely unnecessary in a motive. If you compare the wording of the motives, Xander's secret compared to Arturo's is like day and night. One absolves him of guilt, and the other places the blame on him. Sure, maybe the mm already knows Xander is dead so he's not gonna be tempted or whatever but there's still no reason for it to be so cozy.

Speaking of Xander's motive! I am someone that believes David is lying about receiving Xander's secret and that's Teruko's secret. A very unoriginal thought, considering Teruko straight up says Xander's secret is also missing, implicitly implying she doesn't believe David at all, but I'll explain why. I'm going to assume(lol) that all the names under the motives that have been revealed besides Xander's are correct. Too much mental gymnastics otherwise. So we have Teruko, Hu, Veronika, Levi, and Min. Despite what I said earlier, all the secrets are very carefully worded. Particularly, the secret talks about parents and siblings. Parents, as in two or more parents. Siblings, as in two or more. Let's knock off each candidate. Teruko only mentions knowing of an (older??? maybe i hallucinated this detail) brother. Why would she feel any guilt over any other siblings she maybe has? Next, Levi. I think in like episode 1, Levi mentions only his mother and brothers. So he's got the siblings part, but no two more parents. Min's parents I think??? Were probably implicitly implied to be alive in her bonus episode, at least before entering Hope's Peak. Hu and Veronika... ok I've got nothing other than "I think they have each other's secret."(Veronika's secret is very well foreshadowed I think and so is Hu's) That's not an argument at all but just roll with it.

So now. Whose motive did Arei get?

Ok this is not an original thought at all either. I think it's Levi's. There are plenty of other posts floating around this website and Twitter about Levi's suspicious behavior during the trial, the whole scene with him and Eden during episode 1, his weirdly violent tendencies, Arei glaring at him in initial motive giveaway, go look for those instead. They're much better written and much more concise and they deserve your support. If he didn't want Arei to suffer, if this murder was something triggered(I've noticed there are some parallels to the structure of the first dr game), this whole neck breaking thing makes way more sense.

He's also probably the only one that could knock Arei out quickly before she screamed without the use of turpentineagain^tm. If the killer used turpentine again I've got nothing against that either, it just makes Ace more suspicious.

I didn't know where to place this, and I know this thing is getting too long, but Hu is also very suspicious due to the wire used by Nico on Ace probably being hers. I've also got nothing for that other than "I think her arc has too much setup to blow up this early." Same with Ace.

*

anyway here's who i think is the most likely culprit

1 Levi

2 J/Ace

3 Hu/Whit

4 Eden/David

5 everyone else

when chapter 2 is over if i've left the fandom for some reason and even if i'm still here(probably) you are all allowed to send me pictures of clowns when I'm inevitably proven wrong. permission granted to be a little mean

[galaxae]

if youre still doing the ocverse ask game, 3 and 19? 🥺

ougghhh i so totally still am. i'm mainly fixated on my stupid ass video game idea (working title is gods don't bleed but i want to change it bc it doesn't fit as well anymore)

forgive me if this is incoherent, my boyfriend dislocated his knee so i have to care for him, and work has been terrible and burned me out, so i'm definitely leaving some stuff out of my answers :(, but whatever!!

3.) any recurring images/elements?

absolutely yes. lots of imagery of plants and animals, for one. fire vs. ice too, yes i know it's a very commonly used trope but i like playing around with those two things, especially when i get to kinda subvert expectations with them. similarly with light vs. dark. and also colors vs black and white, both in terms of morality and in terms of actual visuals

19.) describe the sillies you think about but that dont go in the story.

in my mind, charity and fabian (the first two playable characters, and close friends) are exes. it's probably not going to be canonized, but it's also not going to be explicitly denied, so...

their first date was incredibly awkward, by the way. fabian was an ignorant rich kid who loved to pry and stick his nose in others' business and not let up until he knew everything about a situation, while charity was freshly in the "my mom and i were homeless, got taken in by a man, and then that man turned out to be very very bad so we had to flee the state and come to this small piece of shit town where no one realizes how privileged they are, and this all sucks, and i don't want to talk about it" mindset. they were also both 14-15 which is the worst age to be. they broke up so fast after this but now they've got a really solid friendship going a few years later, and charity has a different (cooler) partner

also, so many silly bits of dialogue that... i'm not sure they'll go into the game at all, or if they do, whether they'll just be optional bits. but some favorites include (formatted sorta like they would be in my script document):

KIMBERLY: Oh, hey, Fabián, you're in French 2 with me next semester. JAMAL: Wh... what? People actually take French? I thought that was a myth. FABIÁN: Well, I already know Spanish since everyone on my mom's side and, like, half of my dad's side speaks it. So I thought taking Spanish would be way too easy. CHARITY: You stupid son of a bitch. That's exactly why you should take Spanish.

ACE: Holy shit, I just got stung by a bee! FABIÁN: Are you ok??? Ace pulls the stinger out of their face ACE: LOOK! It's still pumping venom! That's so cool! CHARITY: What the fuck is wrong with you? ACE: What's wrong with you? Lookit!

JAMAL: Hey. Kimbie. KIMBERLY: Don't call me that, please. What is it? JAMAL: Spell ICUP. KIMBERLY: "ICUP?" JAMAL: Spell it. KIMBERLY: That's not a real word. Fake words don't have spellings. JAMAL: Can you at least try? KIMBERLY: Oh. Wait. I see. I-K-U-P. JAMAL: ... KIMBERLY: Does that suffice? Jamal looks as though he's about to cry. [Later that same day] JAMAL: Hey, uh, hey Kimbi-- Kimberly. Is it just me, or is your outfit kind of, uh, "updog?" KIMBERLY: What? JAMAL: Your outfit's kind of "updog." KIMBERLY: What does "updog" mean? JAMAL: ........Can you........... rephrase that, please? KIMBERLY: ? No. JAMAL: :/

also, there's a period of time when kimberly is in 9th grade where she gets really intensely into astrology. specifically so that she can Know A Lot About A Thing that other people don't know as much about. she'll see someone doing something, walk up to them and be like "what are you, an aries venus?" and when they don't understand the reference she'll be like "never mind :)" and feel smart. she no longer does this in the game because she realizes that's so cringe. and she has OTHER science to do, dammit!! (like proving the Weird Kid at school is a literal alien)

another fun fact: kimberly (resident genius) and jamal (who does not give a shit about academics) play chess together one time and jamal wins because kimberly is so perplexed by his newbie moves that she doesn't know how to respond to them.

oh... i didnt realize i had this many sillies... cool :)

yall are encouraged to send more asks if you want i love these blorbos

[whatimdoing-here]

weird personal update under cut, mostly for those who've been around awhile. i guess i can put an intro too.

honestly there are so many new followers here i'm assuming for gif reasons but... like.. sorry guys. it's a fairly rare thing. others do them better and quicker than me for the most part. my poor 7 year old laptop i make them on is a struggle. new person intro to me below, but first let me get to the part where i journal so it's off my chest.

i use tumblr as a journal of sorts. and honestly it's thanks to tumblr in general i started questioning my sexuality when i was in my mid 20s. living in a very white, conservative state - even if you live in a liberal family, that shit just gets ingrained. i was never homophobic or anything, just didn't consider anything other than straight an option. long story short, figured the bi was the best label for me at that time, definitely made me feel better, and more like myself. my partner (husband) was like yeah that's cool all good i support you let me know if you need anything from me and it's been great since.

another... long-ish story in a shorter form... i started struggling the last year or two with all of it again. just feelings and s.x feelings and whatever, a big reason of why i started therapy. basically come to the decision i land on the ace spectrum somewhere. i know much less about being asexual, and it definitely doesn't feel as "good" coming to this realization. i think i probably fall close to the demi- label. but labels and feelings are hard. and since 1) i'm pretty uneducated and 2) no one wants to hear about my sx life, i'm not going to go into things. i just wanted to throw out there that... i'm still figuring shit out. this convo with m was a lot harder, went a lot worse. then there was a better second convo. he's still supportive, it's just harder for reasons that are personal to him so i won't delve into. our relationship is okay, he doesn't want to open our marriage, and not much has changed honestly. i'm still trying to figure out my boundaries, and where my 'am i doing this because i want to or feel like i have to' lines are. it's... not fun. adding to that that if things ever came to the point where our marriage wouldn't work... that completely changes not only my life in a large way, but the kids, and m's. that is the fuckin scariest thing. sexuality discovery would be way less scary if i wasn't scared it will eventually negatively affect people in my life. i'm very much a "i will accept this thing that's not great for me and be quiet to keep the calm and happiness of those around me" in most cases. i don't like taking up space for myself. it's been a rough couple months.

anyway if i had to label i'd go with biromantic, asexual (with some ace labels i may or may not ever figure out)

getting older is a fuckin trip. you think you should know what you want and who you are but no one really knows. and life changes us and we discover more about who we are. for those newbies that are not even 20... your 20s and 30s are great. just... be prepared to shift and change and evolve and be okay with that.

anyway. new folks. i'm alex. i live in the middle of the us. i have two kids (boys, 8 and 5) that... i've been on tumblr longer than either of them have been alive. i work from home in (broadly) a data role within a corporation. i enjoy my work, its flexibility, and just data in general. give me numbers. i've been married for 14 years this june, and i'll be 34 in july.

i watch nwsl and uswnt for sports mostly. working on reading more novels again. obviously my tv obsessions are clear within minutes of looking at my blog. i talk parent stuff too sometimes, it's obviously a big part of who i am, but i'll leave their names and pics off the blog for their safety. i'll show my stupid face here though. sometimes i'll talk about seizures (i have them occasionally, unfortunately, and my brain isn't feeling great right now) and other medical stuff if it's bothering me because this place really is like a journal release for me. i hold some stuff back but yeah. i'll tag with 'personal nonsense' if you want to mute. sometimes i post and delete because i read it again later and decide no one needs to read that shit.

you're always welcome to say hi. i'm fairly harmless, but also keep walls up until i know you better.

uhhh i think that's it. mmmbye

[whitelilynh]

Thank you so much for your answer! You are very nice! I haven’t been in the Naruto fandom in so long, but I have recently become obsessed with Neji lol. I saw some kind of arguments in support of NejiTen having been the original plan for canon, and I was wondering what you thought of them.

Nejiten shippers go on about symbolism between them including their zodiac signs being the best match, best blood type compatibility (apparently this is a big thing in Japan), their representation of a dragon and a phoenix (apparently the perfect couple for marriage in feng shui? But I think Tenten was only compared to a dragon in filler), kaiten being their names put together (even though Kai is a synonym for Neji and Tenten doesn’t spell her name with the same kanji as heaven), and Tenten being the sky because another definition for ‘Ten’ in Japanese is sky (not sure about the kanji or whatever) and Neji being the caged bird who longs for freedom to fly in the sky. They say that Neji never called her a failure, but he did with Naruto, Hinata, and Lee, so she is “special” to him. She only enabled his toxic fatalistic behavior though! I also saw them call Tenten yang and Neji yin, but it was shown in canon that Hinata is his yang instead.

Obviously, this doesn’t make up for lack of development…or no development at all, but I wonder if Kishimoto originally planned on pairing Tenten with Neji and changed his mind? Does he pick specific birthdays, symbolism, and blood types for them for pairings sake, or are the databooks questionable canon? Then again, I saw this amazing post about how Tenten was pretty much confirmed to be aroace the whole time...unless this is a retcon? It doesn’t seem like it to me though. Of course, I saw a NejiTen claim that the excerpt from Tenten is a mistranslation, but I don’t think so.

https://www.tumblr.com/theshinobiway/188908323030/do-you-see-tenten-as-ace

Some NejiTens use fillers for evidence, too…like the episode with Tenten’s dream and Neji saying that Tenten is the reason he is alive and he holds her. The episode is called “Where Tenten Belongs” and someone claims that she belongs in Neji’s arms. 🙄 At least with Rock Lee SD, it was made by one of Kishimoto’s assistants instead of random animators who don’t even know him. The characters act like themselves but are extremely exaggerated for the many comedic moments.

The anime team often makes the story inconsistent as well…especially regarding NaruHina. Thank you again for your in-depth answers. For some reason, I just feel like talking about this. About a decade ago, I used to make arguments together with other people against SasuSaku, so I kind of wanted to do it again but with a different pairing this time. I’m just so tired of not being able to avoid NejiTen wherever I go…NejiHina is much more appealing despite the fact that I don’t ship it romantically. I saw a post that claimed that it could’ve been the endgame because Neji had to die for NaruHina to happen…and it isn’t that farfetched. Anyway, I’m sorry to dump all of this onto you, but I just wanted to talk to someone about this. I hope you don’t mind…

Of course I don't mind talking, I enjoy talking about Naruto as a series and about several of its characters, but I don't specially talk about ships I don't like, and even though I have done it in the past I think is better now to focus on talking and creating for the ships I do like, so this answer might let you down, I'm sorry.

I had never read such arguments on favor of NejiTen, but as far as we all now Neji is canonically stated as Hinata's yin (which also gets in the way of the NaruHina yang-yang couple, so yes, I do believe NejiHina was planned to be end-game, or at least thought to at some point). About zodiac signs is curious, because as far as I now Neji and Hinata have the best complementary sign for each other, and they are born in summer (Neji) and winter (Hinata), so more complementary symbolism there.

Neji never called Tenten useless, but he wasn't interested on her at all even as teammates either though, and when he started to respect his teammates was for both Lee and Tenten after some time together. By the Chunin exams is true Neji is confident on Tenten's abilities but he is also on Lee's. And another important point is that Tenten never fought against Neji. Lee, Hinata and Naruto did, and then was when Neji called them losers, because he knew he was above them on terms of power.

I don't think Neji considered Hinata to be a real loser ever, only not enough to lead the clan and, apart from the obvious resentment he had because of his father's death, he also resented that she, that was not suited for it, would lead the clan and a genius like him had no chance at all. Neji resented the system, the clan, the rules. Not Hinata. Furthermore he tried to talk her into abandoning their match first, so he wouldn't hurt her. He adverted many times he would really hurt her if she continued but she did nevertheless. Neji didn't want to hurt her, not intrinsically at least. He did wanted to hurt her at the end not because it was Hinata or because he hated her, it was because he realised Hinata could read him as well as he could read her, and he didn't like it. It was because Hinata knew and understood what was inside him although he had built a wall to not let anyone in, it was because she got in. He reacted in that way to try to stop her talking aka to stop his pain of having to admit it. Then again, it was a reaction to her actions, not to her person.

Honestly I even consider that match during Chunin Exams pretty intense and significative for their relationship. They knew each other, they were always watching each other, they cared for each other, for good or for wrong. No one understood Neji as well as Hinata, not even his teammates (Tenten included). No one knew and understood as much about Hinata as Neji, definitely not Naruto. So yes, for me they were destined.

And having to kill Neji to bring NaruHina together... It not only enrages me but is also stupid plot wise. I think it was because NejiHina was, wether accidentally or not, very well developed for a secondary couple while NaruHina had no development at all. But these are assumptions though, only Kishimoto and his team know the truth.

Talking about symbolism I tried to analyse Hinata's dream during Tsukuyomi once and why it revealed her true feelings for Neji, if you are interested, but that's a thread on Twitter 😮‍💨.

[allqrcoded]

Devlog 3: Call me Baygon because i'm antibug

big news everyone.. angel care is almost complete! i’m back with another devlog & for this month, i focused on bug fixing, interaction assets along with more cg drafts. in celebration of almost being done, i'll share this placeholder i never used:

he was supposed to be in the talk section stuff, but considering i ended up not doing assets for it, he was just there. we'll never see him again, so say bye bye for now. here's to hoping we get more placeholders out of the way

Bug fixing (1 & 2)

I'm proud to say that... for this month, i've finished running through my 1st round of bug fixing along with cracking down on the 2nd stage of it. i thought it would take longer, but it only took me around 2 weeks to get them down. with that out of the way, i've focused on making the game look nicer aesthetically such as .. specific character interaction sprites & cgs

for the sake of my sanity, i bug tested with the bgm off, so i still have to import some music into scenes that i feel need them. cg work has been going smoothly . even if i decided that i'll change the style of them last minute. it worked out in the end, though, because i feel like the current style of the cgs fit the game more rather than my usual rendering style.

i still have to make some changes to the game because im self conscious, but i'm happy that i'm on this stage regarding AC . it's my child.

because i'm on my 2nd round regarding this aspect (and will probably repeat this loop in the near future because of course i will), it'll take longer to polish AC off.

as of writing this, i've taken care of the extra bugs that popped up in the early game and if i'm correct, i just have to code in the interaction sprites in the scenes that need them for the rest of the game, since the variables that were used in that portion got switched for mid-late game. i also have to code in some sound design aspects in the game, but that's all for this portion.

5/31/23 update: i'm now done with bugfixing in the mid-game area! i barely touched the late game portion, save for double checking if the variables lined up, so, yay! it got done pretty quickly.

New CG style

unfortunately, the preview i showed in my last devlog for one of the cg was scrapped in favor of a less time-consuming cg style. it's similar how i did the talk sprites & this month, i was coding them in the game even if they aren't technically "finished." it's fine, though, because i know it'll save me time in the future for doing that once i polish them. speaking of, here's the first cg you see in the game:

im pretty proud of it. definitely captured what i had in mind for the intro. overlay layers are amazing. right now, the pictures folder in the game have around 130+ files. very mildly interesting

i've been focusing on that aspect for the last two weeks of this month since round 1 of bug fixing got done relatively early. it's a bit tiring on the hands, but each of them take around 40 minutes of my time. the amount of cgs for this game isn't as crazy (over 20, i believe), but still.. doing a lot of them takes a toll on you.

(picture unrelated)

What now?

this month's devlog is pretty subpar because it's literally just "i'm killing off bugs", but sometimes, gamedevving is just like that. as i'm writing this, i've taken a bit of a backseat in terms of this game to take care of myself, but i'm hoping i could release it in the future.

i don't think i'll ever achieve the perfect state i could be satisfied with regarding this game, but that's my goal for now. . also i think that's the first instance i've been self-aware on my keenness to these things but maybe it's because i'm working in a new medium, so i'm a bit slow. perfectionism is a lot to work with.

next month, it's more CG making for me and after that... publishing. if i'm lucky i can get it done during june, but realistically, maybe i'll finish the CGs by july/

[mxsinizter]

would you feel comfortable explaining your own experience of aegosexuality?

cogs are turning in my head thanks to your ifrit/mountain fic because i actually used to identify as autochoris/aego but kind of.. scrapped the possibility once i discovered that i had a sex drive? because in my head ace people couldn't have sex drives (which, i know now, is entirely not the case) my point is; the way you wrote mountain and his shame afterwards, (as well as the definition of aegosexual on the sexuality wiki) resonates with me quite a bit. but i'm struggling to pinpoint if it's an asexuality thing or maybe something else, and i was hoping that an insight into someone's personal thoughts or experiences might help?

if you're not comfortable sharing, that's completely fine too, of course!!! i know how personal some of this stuff can get! and i'm so sorry for this paragraph of an ask, haha :')

HII! YES OF COURSEE! I'll gladly share if it can help :] no need to apologize

(This is a very long response oops, I hope I answered your questions? I am open to answering any more tho <3)

First off, yea, sex drive doesn't define it. I experience times of a very high libido myself, so that shouldn't be reason to scrap ace identities! Especially with autochoris/aego, many of us deal with a sex drive that is not on the low side. The shame part, especially for me can be tied to that! Listening to urges and 'fulfilling' them don't always end... happily for me. It brings a discomfort when it hits me that yea, my arousal made me do that, made me think that, and made me cross that boundary that kept me disconnected from it, something I found fun in theory. (you mentioned 'or something else'... for me that something else is occasionally my own insecurity or bottom dysphoria, so I get that, but I personally am sure that many of the times it mainly stems from being aego.)

With the way I wrote Mountain and that shame.. was a sort of build up of 'oh, would you look at that, my dick finds this very arousing' to 'okay, I find this very arousing' and going into a mental state where the situation is acceptable and something he wants to gain pleasure from. Then with the parts where his imagination wants to run wild, its like him wanting to gain control of what's going on and have fun with it and sort of blind himself from the fact that he was openly jerking off to it lol. (That's why I gave little details of what he was doing there and focused on the show Ifrit was putting on instead and his pov! Bc that's what Mount was fully focused on too!) So then we see that build up of "shame" have him like 'ew, I did that, my body did that and I enjoyed it'. It felt... too real? It's a sort of repulsion caused by the fact that the action is not just in your head/distant from you anymore (I really experience that). That discomfort sometimes doesn't even let you enjoy the afterglow and it sucks. So that comfort Ifrit wants to provide and telling him that he did well and that it was okay, is massive to him. Like, its okay for you to feel this for yourself and let your physical body experience it as well.

(I am for sure making a post about Ifrit's choices now, cause I think those are important to understand how intune he was with Mountain's needs and boundaries.)

But not all aegos feel this so strongly, I happen to and so I wanted to hint at it in the fic. (like even when writing fics, I'll write them, look them over once or twice for basic mistakes, then just post them bc I can't get myself to reread something like that that I created... so my first drafts are basically my final drafts LMAOO. I have a fic idea I haven't been able to write cause I think it'd take too much out of me to do it myself, but I could easily read someone else's work of something just as filthy because it isn't coming from me y'know? I don't have to think about all the mechanics of what is being done.)

I think it really helps to differentiate everything physical and everything mental, understanding what triggers or turns off your arousal, and how you experience attraction. Like you might know already when it comes to fantasizing, many aegos will experience it from the third person view and not include themselves. If they do, it's probably more of a persona of their creation that may have some resemblance, but is separate enough to not actually be them? (I am occasionally guilty of this lol) And with arousal, understanding boundaries and what is needed to reach satisfaction. Its accepting that sometimes that bad feeling is unavoidable and learning how to deal with it and making it a better feeling. Understanding how I experience attraction actually helped me settle on this identity. (I'm on both the aro and ace spec for reference.) Personality, aesthetic attraction, and how much I'd want to be friends with someone really dictates how my attraction works. So I realized I really like watching/reading and fantasizing and experiencing through others and that makes my arousal pop off lmao. Fanfics help a lot cause it brings me comfort knowing its characters I am familiar with and having control over what might be included in the sexual acts.

Going back to how I started this response - I can enjoy a piece of smutty media while my libido is high asf and be like yea, this is so fucking good. But would I actually want to be physically involved in the sexual acts I'm watching? No. Am I sexually attracted to the individuals doing the acts? probably not. A silly simple way I described it to someone else is: I'd fuck Mountain, but I also wouldn't, so watching him get fucked works just fine LOL

All that is not to say I wouldn't ever want to have a genuine physical experience with other physical bodies. I personally would and that doesn't change my identity (although does play part in why I'm specifically aego-gray). it would just take A LOT from me and the potential partner(s) for full satisfaction. (And it took me a few years to settle on all of this, so even answering this is helping me further understand.) So ya, I think I've said way too much already lol. That's a bit of my view of it and how I incorporated it into Mountain's character. It's totally okay if you vary from this and still identify with the same label. It's not a race to put a label on oneself either. I hope this insight was at least a bit helpful and interesting to read <3

[aomine-in-gensokyo]

Hey guys, Daiki Aomine here

Well now, this certainly is an interesting match up. Five different pairs battling it out for the top spot, huh? While in Gensokyo, I've definitely heard of the Komeiji sisters, but as I don't often go into the Underworld, I can't say I'm close yet. Muku and Yuki, however, are two I know personally. After having gone against them myself, I know their power. Heh. I know you two can make it, so Muku, Yuki, go out there and give it your all.

Ah I've been super busy but I'm still here to support Muku and Yuki for real this time!

So let's talk a bit about Muku and Yuki as a pair! (I'm grateful for all the info I've gotten from A3! fans from the past so that I can present it here now! Though... my knowledge isn't 100% yet so if there's any errors please let me know!)

So who are Muku and Yuki? Well, they are both actors in the Mankai Company's Summer Troupe! Additionally, Yuki himself is also the costume designer.

Now in the beginning, Muku has a noticeable lack of self confidence in himself. I think it's important to note that in his middle school days, Muku was actually the track team's ace! However, due to an injury, he ultimately decided to quit the team entirely, as he believed he could contribute nothing to it anymore. Even in high school, he would often downplay himself, showing no real signs of confidence in his own abilities.

Yuki on the other hand is much more sharp in his demeanor. If there's anyone going against him, he will not hesitate to speak out and state his opinion. He's quick to correct things and stand his ground, maintaining a cool yet bold attitude. However, he's not invincible. Surely you have noticed that he often wears skirts and other similar clothing. This has landed him as the subject of mockery towards some. And while Yuki is quick to dismiss them, their comments still sting.

So how do the two of them play out together? Well, Muku, while very dismissive of himself, is very supportive and open towards others! So naturally, he's very supportive of Yuki's actions! In Muku's eyes, Yuki's attitude and dress apparel is something that Muku is extremely impressed about! It's clear he's very supportive of him!

Yuki has a similar stance towards Muku. He recognizes Muku's abilities and talents and makes sure he knows about it. While he recognizes Muku's shortcomings (such as his self-deprecating nature), he still holds huge respect for Muku. And as such, as Muku supports Yuki, Yuki will support Muku.

[Image ID: A picture of Muku and Yuki standing in an alleyway. Yuki rests his head on Muku's right shoulder. He has a side look on his face. Muku, however, slightly leans towards Yuki. He has a reassuring smile on his face. End ID]

They're both really close with one another and I think it's really cool to see how they support one another! Both of them have faced their own hardships, but the fact that they have each other (and their friends) to work through it is something I can respect greatly! So please consider supporting these two!

PINK AND GREEN BRACKET - THE FINALE

[mac-rat-art]

!!

:3!!!!!!!! thank you!!

I'm gonna talk about Tino cause I've been rotating him in my mind

Tino's dad was never in the picture; his mother got pregnant and then he left. Tino's the spitting image of his father, looks just like him. He was three when his mother adopted his sister Brittney. Her parents found they weren't really ready for a kid, and Tino's mom was more than happy to take her in. They stayed in touch for several years before they had to move for work. Tino is definitely a mother's boy. Even as a young kid he was helping take care of his younger sister and doing everything he could to make things easier. He would clean the house, do laundry, everything. Very empathetic, caring guy. Always tries to see the good in everybody, which works against him when he ends up in the monster world. Tino's a golden child; never smokes, never drinks. Doesn't like his sister doing that too much, but will still drive over to a house party at 3am when she wants to go home. Makes her pay for the gas, though. He's panromantic ace, and a hopeless romantic. He's never quite clicked with anyone, but he's absolutely the kind to shower his partner in affection. Flowers, cards, gifts, everything. He's sweet. As stated before, very caring. Once Buddy sees this, he takes advantage of it every chance he gets. Tino eventually does end up more jaded over time. He's willing to do whatever he can, even eventually getting a mark in place of Buddy. Buddy already has two, and so the third would mean he'd be banished to another world forever or until he died, whichever came last. He chews on his tail when he's nervous. He tries to keep some sort of covering on it so he can't, but he does sometimes end up chewing through the bandages. Gets worse after Buddy. His favourite colour is pink, and he loves anything with heart designs. His sister teases him about it, but only because she dresses like a mall goth and that's 'clearly the better style.'

I could ramble on more but I think that's it for now. Again, thanks so much!!

[bucky-at-bedtime]

Stucky Fic Recs

So basically I went through all of my ao3 bookmarks and collated a list of some of my favourites (I couldn't fit all of them on this list, so if anyone shows interest there might be a part two).

Please read tags and descriptions of the works before reading, some of them are pretty dark or extremely horny so just make sure you check that the fic is for you!!

Please please please send me your favourite fics in return! I am always happy to hear fic recs, headcanons and any other ideas/comments you all have!

Without any further ado, here are a few of my favourite Stucky fics:

‘Not Easily Conquered’ series by dropdeaddream, WhatAreFear

Rating: M, Words: 117,692

https://archiveofourown.org/series/115516

“I told you, you heard me: I told you never to follow me into Hell. Now I’m not vain enough to think that’s why you’re out here now — if there’s any person in what’s left of this God forsaken planet who’s part of a bigger picture, it’d be you. But I’ll keep saying it until it sticks. You got nothing to prove. I’m not worth much, I damn well know that, but I’ll ask you anyway: Stay for me. If you leave me alone in this world I’ll turn into something terrible. I’ll turn into the nasty creature that’s growing inside me. This war, it’ll swallow me whole”

[To me, this fic is like the classic Stucky 101 fanfic – if you're a Stucky fan and you haven't read this, I highly recommend it. The authors explore the Steve/Bucky relationship in such an interesting, tragic, emotive way and I cry every time I read it. I couldn't praise this work enough.]

‘Ain’t No Grave’ series by spitandvinegar

Rating: M-E, Words: 131,789

https://archiveofourown.org/series/426577

"Yeah, he never calls me by my name," Steve says. "It's always champ, ace, hotshot, that kinda thing."

"Man, that is flirting," Sam says. "That nicknames thing, he is flirting with you. He's just working his way up to calling you baby or something."

Steve goes redder than a damn coke can. Sam pumps his fist. "Yes, I am so right, I am wise as hell. He did, didn't he?"

"He called me sweetheart," Steve says grimly, "because he's a drug addict with brain damage."

"Or because he looooooves you," Sam says. Captain America throws a cookie at his head. Sam eats it, because he deserves a treat for being so damn wise.”

[I'm currently re-reading this fic and absolutely loving it. The way spitandvinegar writes Bucky's road towards recovery and Steve's entire characterisation – it's all just so good. It's another one that covers some pretty dark themes, so make sure you're checkin those tags!]

'Einherjar' by thecommodore_squid

Rating: M, Words: 71297

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7157024/chapters/16249814

But Steve was fine.

Sure, he hadn’t seen Bucky in months, and sometimes he was at the punching bag so long that his skin started to peel off to expose the bones of his fingers, and sometimes he couldn’t find the energy to drag himself out of bed, and sometimes he went weeks without sleeping, and sometimes he thought about throwing himself head-first off the nearest tall structure, but he was fine.

He was absolutely, perfectly, one-hundred percent, fucking fine.

AKA In which Steve learns how to deal with his shit, and Bucky learns how to stop leaving.

[basically the definition of a recovery fic, I absolutely adore it. This is tragic and amazing and makes me cry and smile. It’s got a bunch of fantastic cameos and It really just ticks so many of my boxes.]

‘Like real People do’ by 2bestfriends

Rating: E, Words: 67,775

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19887376/chapters/47103217

“"Ask me what?" demands Bucky. "I didn't hear a question."

Steve licks his lips. "Will you stay with me? Will you come back home, Buck?"

"Home," repeats Bucky in a small voice, and then he's crying for real.”

[Basically soft lumberjack!steve and lonely twink!bucky being horny and in love. This is a comfort fic for that’s really just about my favourite boys falling in love.]

‘This City Bleeds it’s Aching Heart’ by anonymous

Rating: E, Words: 34,537

https://archiveofourown.org/works/835829/chapters/1591736

“The one where Steve and Bucky pose as a happily married couple while on a mission for SHIELD, to catch an international arms dealer hiding in a suburban neighbourhood.”

[The plot in this one is just a good time and i think it’s just a really fun take on the fake relationship trope. Also some really great characterisation.]

‘Home is Wherever I’m With You’ by cydonic

Rating: E, Words: 88,570

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18868081/chapters/44783077

“Bucky kisses Steve and Emma goodbye before they leave for school, which is why – partway down the road – Amelia turns to him and asks, “why are you and Daddy kissing?”

Which is definitely a conversation Bucky’s been expecting since Steve just did it, but it still takes him by surprise. Again, he thinks he should wait for Steve, but Amelia’s not the sort of kid to let anything rest. Plus, Bucky’s taking her to school where she will undoubtedly share the story with anyone who’ll listen.

He also stops to think that Steve’s asked him to stay, which means Bucky must be trusted with their happiness and well-being, at least in some small capacity.

Bucky clears his throat and searches for some explanation that will help Amelia make sense of this sudden turn of events. “Because we love each other,” is all he comes up with.”

[Bear with me, this is a House Flipper!Bucky Au. And dad!Steve. I just love a found family trope I’m not gonna lie to you. Another comfort fic that warms my lil heart.]

‘Lucky Seven’ by BetteNoire (WeAreWolves)

Rating: E, Words: 94,364

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7033105/chapters/16002481

“Back from where--?” James says, the sentence ending in a distinctly undignified squawk as Steve sweeps him up in his arms, bridal-style, and starts carrying him upstairs.

James tenses momentarily then relaxes into Steve's arms and throws back his head and starts laughing. The laughter peals out of him, his body shaking, his amusement occasionally broken by little gasps of pain.

“What's so funny?” Steve frowns.

“You are,” James says, still giggling. “You're ridiculous, Steve Rogers.”

“Behave. Or I will drop you,” Steve growls.

[The shrunkyclunks modern AU of my dreams featuring Mechanic!Bucky and cap!Steve and some really beautiful writing.]

'Dishonor On Your Cow' by mandarou

Rating: E, Words: 111695

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659162/chapters/23589582

“Sergeant Barnes?”

“Oh, hell no, don’t call him that, man,” Sam warned.

“Captain Fuck Off!” Barnes shouted over him. “Fight me!”

Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or just slink away. He managed to combine the two by pacing two steps and snorting instead. Like a bull.

“I’m gonna need you to calm your ass, Barnes,” Sam said as he went limp again, obstructing Barnes’s struggling under him. “This is so undignified. That is Captain goddamn America.”

“Captain goddamn America!” Barnes repeated, louder. And angrier.

Steve cleared his throat again. “I’ve been looking for you,” he told Barnes.

“I hope you brought lube this time!” Barnes shouted.

[I’m not gonna lie it took me a minute to get into this one but by the end I was crying with them, laughing with them, and just really in my feels. Some very insane things happen so here’s a few of my favourite tags: ‘Seargent Barnes is done with your Shit Steve’, ‘blatant disrespect of a man’s motorcycle’, ‘Steve you ding dong’ and ‘PR nightmares in the form of Supersoldiers’.]

Propietary Information by Notlucy

Rating: E, Words: 85141

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11964402/chapters/27054777

“Okay, so Bucky Barnes has a crush on Steve Rogers. The guy's gorgeous, talented and, oh yeah, the Chief Design Officer of the biggest tech company in the world. In other words: he's so far out of Bucky's league that he might as well be in a different stratosphere.”

[We were never gonna get through this list without a Sugar Daddy!AU (I have a weakness). This one is… saucy and sexy and sweet and uh pretty kinky so read the tags and all. I’ve read it a few times, and I love the way the author has written Steve in this one, he just makes my heart go '!!!']

‘Roots Have Grown’ by AustinB

Rating: M, Words: 17280

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6912451/chapters/15767941

“Bucky is a mildly agoraphobic veteran with funds to spare, who becomes enamored with the cute blonde guy in his building.

So when Steve mentions needing a roommate to cut down on rent costs, Bucky decides it would be a good idea to volunteer.”

[Another weakness of mine is Roommate AUs, and this one is phenomenal. I tend to go for post serum!Steve stories more often, but this is a pre-serum Steve that I just adore.]

‘The Cold Never Bothered me Anyway’ by icoulddothisallday

Rating: E, Words:75562

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11728869/chapters/26425530

“Bucky Barnes has spent his whole life in a state of mild hypothermia. Steve Rogers has spent the last 70 years in the ice. The two things aren’t related until, suddenly, they are. Shrunkyclunks soulmate AU (AKA the awkward bb au).”

[I think this is the only soulmate AU in my bookmarks? I would totally be down to read more though! This one is really fun and really enjoy Bucky’s characterisation here!]

'War, Children' by Nonymos

Rating: E, Words: 106615

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5373050/chapters/12409394

“After Bucky was released from the hospital, it only took him a couple of weeks to give up on himself. Difficult to believe in any kind of future when the simple act of staying alive was almost too big an effort.

Out the frosted window, across the street, there was a tiny homeless guy burrowing under an awning.”

[An interesting exploration of Bucky’s PTSD with a trans!Steve which was a cool take on his character too!]

'The Company You Keep' by orbingarrow

Rating: G, Words: 51191

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3468605/chapters/7613072

“Hurt, hungry, and on the run, the Winter Soldier doesn’t have a lot of safe options to go to for help. Figuring that any friend of Captain Steve Rogers is unlikely to be HYDRA, Bucky takes a chance and reaches out to the first Avenger he can find.

It works out better than anyone could have expected. Eventually.”

[hurt/comfort, recovering Bucky, protective Steve, found family and domestic avengers, need I say more? I absolutely loved this one]

[rimaiahwrites]

Red handed—

Chapter seven

After Erik drove away Israel came in to the house grinning even though he low key pissed her off.

She was still happy that she got to spend time with him, Erik was actually bringing happiness and excitement to her dull life and she couldn't be happier about it.

Israel walked right passed her brothers and into the kitchen, not even noticing all her brothers and their friends sitting in the living room looking at her like she lost her mind.

She grabbed a water bottle and began to chug it. Until she heard someone clear their throat. She turned around and started choking on the cold water. Noah got up from the floor and made his way over to pat her on the back.

When she got her choking under Control, she waved at them giving her best smile trying not to look suspicious.

"Who the fuck was that nigga you was wit'?" Her smile dropped.

"What are you talking about I-" Jay cut his eyes at her, daring her to lie to his face. Israel rolled her eyes trying to play it off. "He's Just one of my friends jay, relax."

"Since when do you have guy friends?" He asked walking into the kitchen. Everyone now quiet like he was some sort of king.

"Since when did I have to answer to you?" Israel spit back, looking him up and down. Jay was a bit taken back from her tone because it wasn't like her to get go smart mouth with him.

"Since you were born fuck you mean when? You forgetting that you the youngest?" He said cocking his head back like she just said the most stupidest shit ever. "no but You keep forgetting I'm grown. I can do as I please." She hissed slamming the freighter door shut. "I'm not no damn baby anymore, stop trying to tell me what I can and can't do I'm grown rather you like it or not, the fuck" she said stepping up to him as if he wasn't 6'0 and bulky grown man. not even realizing that she had raised her tone with him...or that she was cussing.

"Girl-" she quickly held her hand up to hush him. "No! I'm so done with this shit! Y'all three get to do whatever y'all want and y'all still live in mom and dads house and don't nobody say shit to y'all but when I hang out with someone of the opposite gender it's a problem? as if you did just sneak that girl In your room not to long ago, as if y'all wasn't fucking in there while mom was downstairs right under your room." She spit out dropping her head down a bit to give him a death stare. She was so irritated and had so much adrenaline running through her, she was shaking.

"You really can't say shit to me jay!" She said slapping her hand on the counter, and her other hand in her hip. Looking like a middle aged black mama yelling at her disobedient child while jay just stood there staring wildly at her but there wasn't much he could say. It was all true. She cut him up and now he was stuck not knowing what to say.

It was quiet in the living room and kitchen.

Jays friends didn't say a thing but they were fully entertained with the argument going on between the two Sibling.

"So what you just fucking random niggas now? Huh? That's where you was last night? At that niggas house being a hoe?" He shouted, veins popping out the side of his head. Israel face dropped at his words and they stung more then she thought they would.

You could hear a pin drop nobody made a move or spoke a word. Just a silent staring contest between the two. Jays fists balled, shoulders squared looking like he was ready to fight while Israel on the other hand was her eyes were getting glossy and her breathing heavy. She could feel the lump in her throat getting harder to swallow.

She cleared her throat and turn to walk back to get her bag by the front door. And heading up stairs, there was nothing else to be said. Israel now knew that her big brother saw her as nothing more then just a hoe, he has made it very clear today.

Israel waited until she was 18 just to talk to men and now he was calling her a hoe not even knowing that she only stayed for the night, And that was all. But there was no point in arguing with jay, he was stubborn and a asshole. if that's what he thought that's what he thought.

She shut her bedroom door and headed straight to her bed, stuffing her face in her pillow tears coming down like a waterfall.

She was Tempted to call Erik just so he could come get her of the hell hole she called home.

Maybe that was over dramatic but she hated it here, she loved her family but being with them 24/7 wasn't something she planned on doing once she turned eighteen. She honestly thought she would have been treated like her brothers were but then again she was never given a fraction of the freedom her brothers has. She was never treated like her feelings mattered, everything has always been about the boys.

You would think that since she's the only daughter her father has she would be treated like a princess and get away with everything but that definitely wasn't the case with her father. She was always the one to get yelled at first, she was always the first one to get blamed for something she didn't do and was always the first to get it the worst of her siblings.

Her father was a strict, mean military man that had no Sympathy for anyone and he clearly passed that down to his oldest son.

She was so sick of crying over them, she was so sick of being mistreated.

With tears still running down her face she sat up and took a deep breath feeling like she was dropping down into that deep hole she liked to hide herself in when she was feeling down.

His words replaying in her head like a broken record. She wasn't a hoe and she knew that and she knew that she didn't sleep with Erik but some how his words sank into her skin so deep that she felt dirty. Like she had committed some sort of sin.

She was only having fun, and finally getting the teenage experience she never got to have when she was younger.

Israel was tired of crying over things her family has said to her it was time for her to stop letting their words hurt her and effort her mental health.

She stood up from her bed and decided that she wanted to take a flower bath and just pray her troubles away.

-

Erik parked his black Mercedes-Benz G-Class outside of the were house he owned. This was the place he kept all of his weapons, books, important papers and information he had collected over the years of him being in college and the navy.

He and ten of his close friends that he met in the navy had formed a elite group of former navy seals. Their jobs were to Take down small governments and expose them. They also would kill small amounts of police officers and clans men which 9 times outta 10 were the same group of men.

About six months age they made a little mistake that almost got them caught which would've cost them their lives which is why they took a break to regroup to better themselves. Erik and three of his boys ace, zeik and Rae all trained the hardest they ever have far as fighting techniques, Brent, rocky and von all worked with weapons and the rest of the boys were hackers.

Today was their first meeting in six months. Erik has changed Plans and moved things from the original date so this meeting is important.

Erik walked to the side door of the warehouse and slide up the side  paneling to reveal the handprint scanner, that was the only way to get into it up less you climb to the very top and through the window but the chances of that happening was slim. Once he was into he went to the corner of the large warehouse and behind the staircase that lead you to go upstairs which was empty.

He walked into the staircase little door where there was a another door that used Voice activation to open. "State your name please." a robotic voice said as it Scanned his face. "Erik Stevens."

"Face scan complete, welcome back erik." The voice said as the heavy Metal door opened to Reveal his underground lab.  "Feels good to be back." Erik Chuckled as he walked down the steps. All of his boys turned their heads from the game of pool to Erik. "Ayo Erik where you been at motherfucka you was supposed to be here a hour and a half ago." Erik grin as he dubed ace up ignoring zeik interrogation. "Right and you be the main one mad if Someone else late to the meetings." Rae butted in.

Erik rolled his eyes.

"If y'all don't shut the fuck up, I gotta life to I just got caught up." He shrugged them off as he walked over to his desk. Rae eyebrows raised as he looked at the rest of them and they all were just as confused as him. Erik and "personal" just didn't go together in the same sentence, if he wasn't working out he was working. Erik was always work, work, work.

Brent smirked as he grabbed his water  bottle and took a sip "him must got a new bitch or sum'" ace snorted "nigga yeah right that nigga ain't been in a relationship in years, Erik fucks and dips." It was true. That just wasn't like Erik.

"All I hear is you motherfuckas being worried about me let's get to work!" Erik clap his hands exactly as he went into the meeting room with the rest of the men following.

-

After a four hour meeting they had finally figured everything out. It was now 10:46 and Erik was tired, Israel sleeping over had him exhausted since it fucked up his sleep schedule. On a normal day Erik was in bed 11 o'clock and up at 6 o'clock in the morning. Sleep was very important to a healthy life style. It was Proven that people that get at least 7 hours of sleep they live longer.

Soon as Erik got home he took a shower and got straight in bed. he didn't even bother putting on clothes.

It's almost been a week since Erik has last spoken to Israel since he had been so busy. It's been strictly wake up, eat, work, train and work some more he didn't really have time to hang or call.

He felt a little bad for it but he knew that she knew he wasn't ignoring her intentionally...at least he hoped she knew that.

Today Erik was going to the gun range with ace just to do some training and catch up with him since they really hasn't had the chance to do that.

Since ace's car was in the shop right now so erik decided to pick him up instead of him catching a Uber. Soon as erik pulled up to aces Apartment he saw he step out of his door and jogged over to the passenger side.

"Wassup E," he said as he sat his bag down in the back seat. "Wassup bro you ready to show these niggas how to aim?" Erik said jokily as he drove off.

Erik cooked his AMT and aimed it at the head of the paper man all the way in the range and let multiple bullets fly from it giving him a slight rush. He adjusted his safety glasses and gripped the handle of the gun again before pulling the trigger but aiming at a different figure. Him and ace were both in their own little worlds before the ringtone from Erik's phone pulled him back down to earth, it caught aces attention too.

It was Israel.

Erik beamed down at the screen but Debated if he should answer it or not, he wanted to he really did but decided it would be best if he called her later since he could barely hear from all the gun shots being fired.

"Who was that? Got you smiling and shit..." ace asked with his eyebrows raised. Placing his gun down to face Erik. "Nigga why you so damn nosy?" Erik cut his eyes at him while blindly putting his phone back into his pocket.

"What you mean nigga? I'm just trying to see who making my dawg so happy is that a crime?" He said jokingly jerking his head back. Erik rolled his eyes.

"It's was one of my friends." Erik stated before grabbing his gun again trying to get off the topic. Ace put his hand out and pushed the gun down before he could pull the trigger.

"What friend? cause the last time i checked we had the same circle of friends?" Erik sigh getting annoyed with aces interrogation. Did he want to tell his best friend about Israel? Hell nah. Because he know his best friend and he knows he's going to go over bored and start doing the most with questions.

"You don't know her. Drop it nigga."

"Her? So you got a bitch or sumn'" Erik shock his head not even meaning to slip up and say anything. It was to late to take back now. "Nah she not my girl, we just been chilling." Erik shrugged, as he corrected him.

"Lemme see what she look like nigga how you know I don't know her?"

"Hell nah nigga stop being nosy-"

"Ok but if I had a bitch I would show you-"

"She not a bitch tho." Erik said sternly in their back and forth bickering. As annoyed as Erik was ace had a point and they both knew it. Ace talked to him about everything and if he was interested in a girl Erik would be the first to know about it. Erik put his gun on safety and sat it down before digging In his back pocket to grab his phone.

He scrolled through his camera until he found his favorite picture of Israel. It was one she sent to him not to long ago, her hair was wild with tiny ringlet coils. Her lips and mouth were stained red from the dumdum that hung from it. She had her white silk night gown on and a dainty rose flower necklace that hung between her collarbone.

Erik handed him the phone and watched as he brought his fist up to his mouth. "Nigga she fine as fuck damn where you find her at?"

"A party I went to not to long ago, she was shy as fuck she would barely talk to me." Erik chuckled taking his phone back to put it back in his pocket. "We been hanging out the last few weeks, she cool." Erik said nonchalantly to make it seem like he wasn't feeling shordy as much as he was. To someone like didn't know Erik as well as ace did he would've them really thinking he didn't like her and it wasn't a big deal but ace knew.

"You feeling her?" Ace asked facing Erik now, Erik shrugged.

"Like I said she cool."

"Mm." Was all ace said. Erik didn't need to answer, ace already knew the answer.

[strawberryona]

OMGG U HAVE THE MOST TASTE EVER YES,,, ok a few questions (feel free to answer all at once or seperate if thats easier!)

- do u have a favorite song significance? or like a top few if u can't choose?

- i would love to know more abt bella's playlist specifically :3c so vibe....

- more music in general but have u listened to Glass Animals? their music is weird in a good way if ur into that!

ththank u dizzy for Always always engaging with me ily 🙏🙏🙏

favorite song significance: This. is So Hard to choose and i dont want to put too many bc each really deserves its own post. but right now my favorite song is pretty little head by eliza rickman!! i loop it for 5 hours at a time!!! i have issues!! i think it might have been on night vale so you might have heard of it i just know it because im a Huge fan of dark cabaret & steampunk music

anyways that song really really reminds me of adelheidis singing about griffin especially the chorus ;

Where’s your mother?

kitty kay, griffin’s mom, is a huge driving force in the plot, as she’s the leader of the rabble mob and purposefully undermines the oppressive religion/government that the protags anya and celia are trying to escape

Fall down dead

griffin LITERALLY fell down dead. he fell out of a tree (while trying to save a cat) and hit his head and returned to life for Some Reason thirty minutes later. this is never explained in canon!!! me and my top researchers (clones of me in lab coats) are attempting to find the explanation as we speak so Please Hold but that. is a thing that happened. and “dying” was a huge turning point for griffin because prior to this he was using his real name but afterward he started to hide behind his stage persona of the plague doctor more often - a lot like his mother, who lost herself under her character of the phoenix she played.

Dirty mind, dirty mouth, pretty little head

griffin uses innuendo like…. a LOT. which is funny considering that i headcanon him as ace. but ive had adel call him a “dirty little thing” before Specifically Referencing This Song because i am diseased!!!! and anyways he does think that griffin is very pretty.

I wish you were here, I wish you’d make my bed

this line is definitely adelheidis struggling to find the energy to do everyday things—sometimes theyre just so overwhelmed emotionally and physically that they wish griffin could help them do everything

Dirty mind, dirty mouth, pretty little head

refrain but. underneath these words she says (pretty mind, pretty mouth, pretty li—) and i find it extremely representative of the way adel puts up an icy persona but underneath is melting

i have listened to glass animals! my favorite song of theirs is season 2, episode 3! i keep forgetting the numbers!

i’ll put bella’s playlist under the cut because this post is extremely long already and it contains some triggering content - cw for violence, self-hatred, and discussion of sexual predators

thank u SO SO MUCH for asking this!!! i had a huge blast writing all this!!!

overall, most of the songs have soft girlish vocal types contrasting with harsher sounds and screams, which was a deliberate choice because of how bella acts--they fake an innocent persona to hide their true intentions. the title is a reference to her defection from her country, and the description is a response to the line in victrix’s playlist. i picked the cover because of the motif of contrast, bella likes sweet and “pure” imagery while being a violent and unstable person.

bella’s a tanamare, a fantasy species i made up which has plant-themed powers. their country, ch’aka, is quite oppressive in nature, often employing propaganda to keep their citizens in line. bella was a prodigy with high-level abilities and joined the army early when she was about 13-14.

So everyone that I love is stuck Because this, that, the other, and the state fucked up We covered it in a class that I'm about to fail

Cigarette Ahega0 - Penelope Scott

I am perverted, sick and sadistic Covered in your blood It's ritualistic

Perverted - Elita

All these toys and girls and boys This fucking world makes so much noise Dont talk to me, I'm fucking sick Its life or death we have to pick Bitch, I was gonna die so young But Ill just pop my bubblegum

Hospital - Gurldoll

I'll get revenge Pour bleach on your head and now you're dead Disinfect, so hold your breath and say goodbye

Maggot - Slutever

after some Very Messed Up experiences that i won’t get into, bella defected and became a fugitive. she began attacking and often killing sexual predators, reasoning that she was the only one that understood it was necessary, and that since she was so desensitized to violence & adept with her powers, she had a duty to protect others like her.

I just wanna make the whole earth smile I just wanna make the world smile Do you think I'm bad Do you think I'm wrong Or I'm too slutty?

I Just Wanna Make The Whole Earth Smile - Girls Rituals

So don't you squirm, don't you fret I'm not gonna hurt you yet I just feel the need to be getting A little of you, a lot of blood-letting I know the sensation you're probably dreading But cutting you up will be so refreshing for me

The Dismemberment Song - Blue Kid

You’ve been staring at me for like, a fucking hour. Can I help you? Like, what’s your problem? If you get near me though, if you try to touch me, I swear to God, shitdick. I will take my Louboutins and castrate you.

Don’t Touch - Lil Mariko

All I wanna do is burn the world All I wanna do is burn Now scream my name Scream my name Scream my name Scream it

Fuck Me - Vernon Jane

things poke holes in her flawed reasoning ... her desensitization to violence becomes a source for self-hatred, as she ignores how people have been taking advantage of her for her entire life. she doesn’t know what to do, so she tears herself down. she adopts a carefree, misanthropic persona to distract from her real problems.

My bedroom smells like rotten food And I guess so do I

Angels of Porn - Nicole Dollenganger

There are flowers growing all around a massive animal inside of me And it’s so ugly, and I’m so broken And I’m so ugly, and it’s so broken

Angel Eyes & Basketball - Foot Ox

They say that it gets better, but I guess that was a lie I guess we all just fake it 'til we die Sympathy and love we can extend to someone else But it's harder when you have to love yourself

I Deserve to Bleed - Sushi Soucy

I can teach you how to be just like me, crying all night sleeping 'til three I can teach you how to be just like me, just listen carefully I can teach you how to be just like me, cute as Hello Kitty!

Hello Kitty - Jazmin Bean

ultimately there is something that makes her want to improve as a person. it’s her interpersonal relationships and her little burning flame of belief that things CAN be fixed. she didn’t know how to try before she met someone named kathy & her brother jonah (@llamas-and-leeks‘ ocs)  so bella actually did find a way to get better and confront her issues! good for her. also this gets compounded when she meets victrix, a human crime-fighter. her country, manava, is probably the best place around - while not perfect, manava has an actually good government, and because of their different circumstances, victrix and bella are at odds. victrix is pretty patriotic because her home country is a good place to be, while bella is disillusioned with the propaganda of their childhood. eventually the two learn to see each others’ sides, and they grow and change together :) btw bella is pansexual and victrix is a lesbian. and theyre gay. oh right this was meant to be a playlist explanation hold on-

Maybe you're made of rotting meat Maybe I'm just a machine

Watermelon - Queen Chimera

My sweetheart's piano is rat filled And mine is infested with bugs The music we make is unnatural But it sounds just like falling in love

Butch 4 Butch - Rio Romeo (YES I’M AWARE NEITHER ARE BUTCH.)

I hate you for the sacrifices you made for me I hate you for every time you ever bled for me I hate you for the way you smile when you look at me I hate you for never taking control of me

Blood - In This Moment

[mrsbarnes107]

Secret of the Widow

-part seven-

Summary: Post Endgame time period. The team is healing, trying to navigate this new normal they’ve found themselves in when Bucky and Sam bring home a stray with an attitude and a secret. Will the broken team take her in? Or is it too much to bare?

Warnings: language, *eventual* violence and smut, death, fluff, angst

Pairings: Bucky x OC

Disclaimer: this is posted to Wattpad as well and it WILL HAVE PLOT. I’m a Bucky hoe so there will be smut and romancy stuff but this is a series, so plot plot plot and slow burn.

Something was blinding me and I was wrapped in a cocoon of warmth.

I cracked my eyes open, sunlight streaming in and effectively burning my retinas. A big yawn escaped as cat stretched across my bed, popping my joints deliciously.

Of course that's when I noticed that I was in my bed. The bed I was very much NOT IN last night.

I stumbled to the bathroom, throwing on some spandex shorts along the way. The mirror revealed a very distraught woman. Jeez I'm a mess. Puffy eyes, wild hair, pillow creases on my cheek. With a sigh I throw my hair into a bun and wash my face and teeth, staring down my reflection.

Where on earth did this ginormous hoodie come from? This thing is like a dress, I cant even see my shorts and I KNOW it's not mine.

The fact that i cried hard enough to pass out and NOT feel someone carry me to my room AND put a hoodie on me is very concerning. I need to reign in these emotions, no matter how hard it is being back in the tower.

I slip some fuzzy socks on and check the time. 6 am. Of course.

Making my way quietly down the hall I snuggle more into the cozy hoodie. It smells like musk, man, and crisp night air. This is mine now.

No one seems to be awake, so I decide to treat the team to an extravagant breakfast of waffles, bacon, and eggs. But first a very very large cup of coffee.

As the aroma of Heavens most beautiful creation fills the room I have FRIDAY shuffle my music, broadcasting it in the kitchen loud enough to dance around to but not wake the others.

Food is almost done when I'm in the middle of singing into the knife I grabbed to cut up some fruit.

"SHOT THROUGH THE HEART AND  YOURE TO BLAME" chop chop chop "YOU GIVE LOOOVE  A BAD NAME"

I toss the knife behind me and spin around to flip the bacon, catching it with a little twirl. "I play my part and you play your games oooh you give loveee"  I begin setting the food on serving trays "a bad name."

As I'm dancing around the kitchen, enjoying the peace of cooking in an empty space, flicking the knife in the air and twirling it in my hand, I hear the team start to get up and around.

"She was a fast machine, she kept her motor clean" what a great way to start the day, bomb music and a dance party. "She was the best damn woman that I ever seen. She had sig-" as the knifes handle lands deftly in my palm, someone interrupts my concert.

"I feel like I should be serenading you right now Doll. Lookin like that, cookin food like this, definitely the best damn woman I've ever seen."

With a squeak I had launched the knife towards the voice, Bucky plucking it out of the air, right in-front of his amused blue eyes. He was leaning against the doorway, legs crossed and sleep rumpled hair. Apparently he's been there a while and apparently he was blessed with beauty no matter his state of dress.

"Barnes what the hell! Warn a girl, jeez." I put my hand over my heart to calm it while pouring a cup of coffee, walking it over to the super soldier. "And damn straight I'm the best. Glad you've noticed."

He follows me into the kitchen, leaning against the counter sipping his drink. "You're pretty skilled with this." I guess that was his warning as he catapulted the knife towards my stomach. Well I deserved that, I thought as I caught it while skipping a few songs.

"You'll come to learn I'm skilled in a few things." I say with a wink. "Although, I don't think anyone works a blade like you do Sarge."

I look up to find him staring at me with a weird expression before he shook his head and smirked. "Well Doll, I could always give you some pointers if you ever wanna train with me."

I'm jamming to Back in Black when the rest of the team walks in. Throwing Bucky a smile over my shoulder and a quick "your on, meet after breakfast?" He gives a nod and sits at the island beside the others.

This could be fun. Or a disaster. Definitely not a good idea. But a fun one for sure.

I'm still bouncing around to AC/DC when Sam scowls at me. Well he looks like a grumpy kitten in the mornings apparently.

"You are definitely Tony's creation." He grumbled, followed by a thank you, as they started scarfing down breakfast.

•••

"Hey Ali, why are you wearing Buckys hoodie?" Peter mumbled around a giant bite of waffle, food flying everywhere.

I paused for a second then continued pouring myself some more coffee, giving Barnes a quick glance that he avoided, deeply interested in his bacon apparently.

"Oh I forgot I was still wearing it, sorry Sarge." I said with a chuckle. "Couldn't sleep last night so I watched a movie and Barnes ended up joining me. I got cold and he was ever the century old gentleman."

That earned a scoff from the old man.

"We're still leaving at lunch right? I'm craving a taco from downtown." Wanda pipped up from across the island.

"Yeah that sounds great, I'm gonna get a quick workout in beforehand."

Peter glanced up from his waffle mountain "Do you think you could stop by the lab and help me out with something? When you're done shopping?"

I see Bucky staring at me in my peripheral, eyeing the smile I force onto my lips. That lab just can't get rid of me huh Tony. "Yeah of course, I'll let you know when I'm headed there."

With that I head back to my room and throw on some shoes and a tank top, leaving Buckys hoodie on my bed. I did say it was mine now anyways.

The gym is a large, two story area with many connected rooms. I went into the sparing room, with mats on the floors and a wall of punching bags. After stretching and putting on some music, I work on the power behind my punches, trying to land harder blows for someone larger than me.

Getting lost in the feel of fist biting leather I let myself drift into thought. I still don't know how to incorporate myself into the team. They were all very kind and grateful this morning, talking about their plans and letting me know they will be interrogating the two bombers from yesterday.

Am I being too open? I'm usually serious and more reserved unless I'm comfortable with someone like Nicky or Tony. It's just that I want them to see more than my serious, throat slashing side. The team is already gloomy enough, but I don't want them too think I'm not taking this seriously. Finding that line is hard when I don't know how receptive three of them even are to me at the moment.

Wanda, Buck, and Peter all seem fine, but the others are more hesitant.

I finish a set with a spinning roundhouse, sending the bag against the wall, just as one of my favorite songs comes on shuffle.

Being on your own for essentially twenty-two years gives you very little option for conversation. Besides the times I stayed with Tony, I was alone. As a kid my teachers were just that and Nicky was there when he could be, but all I really had was myself.

So music is my release. All I ever really had to let loose and feel lighter when on the road or cleaning up after a mission.

So I sing along while launching daggers into a sparring dummy from across the room.

[husbandograveyard]

Hey there! I hope I make it in time, I'm very excited you're opening your box 😩💕. May I please request Platonic HC for Ace, Marco, (and Izo if you write for them of course!) Comforting their friend/cremate who is being plagued by nightmares from their past? Like they're afraid to lose the crew/family, that they've always wanted . Thank you dear, I can't wait to see the requests for this batch 😌

Hi dear! I love this idea! Especially since Whitebeard giving this whole bunch of misfits a family and a place, ugh breaks my heart every time. (╥﹏╥) You used general terms so I went with a gender neutral reader and Izo is included! Am anime-only, have not seen that much of Izo, so I do take some own interpretations of his character. To not make them too repetitive I gave all 3 a slightly different situation!  Much love, I hope you enjoy these! 

Platonic Comforting HC - Ace, Marco, Izo 

Ace 

Ace, once he gives in to the whole family thing. Is pretty close with almost everyone on the ship. He checks in with his own division, but will know all the names and faces of people from other divisions and will regularly check in with those he crosses paths with. 

Often it’s just a “Hey, Hello, how are you doing?” moment, it’s not like he doesn’t have anything to do, but when he has time he’ll settle for an actual conversation.

You’ve been very lucky to catch him often on one of those free moments and you were pretty proud to state that you were by now friends with the freckled commander. 

He knew you very well, and thus he notices when things are not as they should be. 

And after crossing you in the hallway for a few times, barely getting an ‘hello’ and a smile in return, he knows something is up and pulls you aside the next time he spots you. 

You first deny that anything is wrong, but the deep dark circles under your eyes tell a different story. Ace is persistent and doesn’t give up until you finally confess that you have barely been sleeping. 

He knows some of your past, and you tell him how it’s been coming back to haunt you in your dreams. How you are finally feeling so happy to have friends, to have a crew, to have a family. How you finally feel like you have found your place in the world.

And how every time you close your eyes at night, that all gets taken away from you, in so many different, horrific ways. Every nightmare is worse than the last one, and at this point, you are just putting off sleep. 

Ace understands how you feel, he struggles with so many things but could not imagine losing his family at all… it’s the subject of his nightmares too, but he does not have them often enough to disrupt his sleeping pattern, as they now do to you. 

He gives you words of comfort. How everyone, including him, in this crew, would never leave you, and would never leave you behind. In no situation. 

He assures you you’re a family who will go to the ends of the earth in order to protect one of them. That’s just how Whitebeard works. 

And you know all these things, but hearing them being said to you with such sincerity, Ace’s hands on your shoulders as he looks in your eyes, stares into your soul, as he tells you to never doubt that, it just does something with you, and you feel as if a load is off your shoulders, thanks to the reassurances, and just the fact that you got it off of your chest. 

Ace proposes to nap together whenever he has a free moment during the day, or whenever he falls asleep doing something. That way, if you lie next to him, people will think his nap was on purpose, and that way, if the nightmares plague you again, you can wake up, see him, and get back to sleep, having some living breathing reassurance next to you, that this family is here to stay. 

Marco 

Marco has many sleepless nights, not necessarily because he cannot sleep, but because he is the type of man that will finish his work no matter the time, resulting in all-nighters more often than not. 

Being the ship’s doctor, he definitely knows better, but the peace and quiet at night makes working just a little bit easier. 

And he does take a regular break to just stretch his legs, get on deck and get some fresh air under the night sky filled with stars. Whenever the sea is calm, it works insanely relaxing and it’s his favorite time of day. 

He is usually all by himself, save for the handful of crewmembers on patrol and those in the crow’s nest on night watch. 

It’s very rare to see someone else on deck, and that’s why you, leaning over the railing as you stare into the waves, stick out like a sore thumb. 

Marco of course, cannot just let you stand there. If you’re up at this hour, and out of your cabin, surely something must be wrong. 

And it becomes even more clear that something is wrong, as he approaches you and notices your shoulders are jerking up in the typical fashion of someone who’s crying. 

Your hands are clutching the rails and your gritting your teeth, angry at your own emotions, pirates don’t cry, you think and in your very overwhelmed state, you don’t even notice Marco walking up to you. 

It is only when he softly puts a hand on your shoulder and asks you if you’re okay that you notice, and you jump a little at the sudden touch and sound, turning your head away, ashamed of your tears.

He stands next to you, looking over at the sea as well, not staring to make you uncomfortable. 

He lets you know that you can talk if you want, but if not, he'll just stand there with you, so you’re not alone in whatever you’re going through. 

It’s silent for a long time before everything spills from your lips, you were calmed down and had stopped crying, but as you’re talking you feel the tears well up again. 

Marco rubs your back as you speak and cry out, and offers you to come to his cabin, where he prepares some herbal tea. It helps you calm down and will definitely help you sleep. 

As you’re walking, he points out all the little things on how the crew is working together, distracting your mind from the negative and showing you how this crew is there for every single member of it. 

It’s all facts, easy for you to wrap your mind around, and that combined with his generally calming demeanor makes you feel tired even before you can even start drinking the tea. 

Marco will only send you back to your cabin if you promise to reach out next time you feel that way, to any crew member you want. You’re never alone here.

Izo 

Izo was just checking supplies in one of the storage rooms, taking notes of all that needed to be restocked next time the Moby Dick docks at an island when he hears some soft snoring. 

His initial instinct is Ace having had another bout of narcolepsy, but it’s strange: Ace does not come in these supply rooms often, mostly cause there’s ammunition stocked and they don’t really want someone who’s literally made out of fire to be close to possible explosive materials.

So when he goes looking for the source, he’s pretty surprised to find you there. You’re usually pretty focussed and all ready and doing your chores, so it is strange to find you sleeping away somewhere.

Especially in that position. Concerned for your back and your wellbeing, Izo gently shakes you awake. 

Bad idea, you jolt up, panting and you nearly hit him in the face. 

Izo needs to take a few minutes to calm you down, and once you realize what had happened, you feel your cheeks heat up with embarrassment. 

You feel like you need to explain, but at the same time you don’t want to explain and you’re just incoherently mumbling at this point, worrying Izo even more. 

He tells you to breathe. Relax. Wait a few seconds. Calm down. And then you can tell him. Counting the supplies can wait.

You get it all out, how your worst fear is losing everyone you met right now, and how every time you close your eyes, you see the whole crew dying, or leaving you behind, and how now you can barely sleep. 

How you went in here to get something for Thatch and just passed out from fatigue. 

Izo gives you an insanely good pep talk. Both of you sitting down on the floor in the darkness of the supply room. You have no choice but to look him in the eyes and believe him. He’s so convincing. 

Every single time you throw in another doubt, Izo obliterates it. The crew is here for you. They will uplift you. They will protect you. 

They will train with you to get stronger, help you whenever you feel down. 

They are a family, and the moment Whitebeard welcomed you onboard you were a part of that family too. 

And they’re Whitebeards crew, like hell are they gonna die over some trivial fights. 

He’s almost getting a little worked up by the end of his speech and you cannot help but smile. 

He’s right, and you will think about that speech before you go to bed, in hopes the nightmares stay away.

[i-did]

If you dont mind me asking, I'm really curious about your opinion of kevaaron as its growing increasingly popular. From the perspective of pairing a (bi?) guy with someone who is homophobic in canon. Often times it seems like Aaron overcoming his homophobia is rushed so that him and Kevin can get together.

Hey! So this is actually a very interesting ask because it shows how prevalent fanon is, that even you anon have stated that Kevin is bi and aaron is homophobic.

Aaron's homophobia is complicated but in my opinion there, especially considering it is 2006 and he is a straight guy. He definitely shows signs of being the "I'm not homophobic just don't shove it in my face/do stuff like that so public" type of homophobia. He is often HC as ace, sometimes ace/aro to combat this flaw and make him more likeable in a similar way people do with Kevin's homophobia.

Thats right! Kevin is probably homophobic! He never says a slur like seth, but going off of context he is about the level of homophobic as aaron, but in a much more dismissive rather than disgusted way. He says "it would be best for neil to remain heterosexual" (not a direct quote but you get the idea) this line is often used as evidence that kevin is bi in a similar way that Aaron's discomfort is used as evidence for him being ace. This type of dismissal and belief that being queer is a choice, is harmful. I've been told by a family member to stay in the closet because my life would be easier, and thats by someone who doesn't think its a choice.

Ace aaron isn't nearly the level of fanon as Kevin is bi is. But the other common HC of kevin is that he's ace/aro as well.

Again, as always, people can headcanon and interpret and interact with canon however they want. I think its just good to notice the line between fanon and canon. Fanon is inherently self indulgent.

I like to keep Aaron straight and homophobic because I think its important to show, and how people who are homophobic aren't secretly gay/bi the whole time trope. Also, ace people can be homophobic. Anyone can be homophobic. Its mostly straight people, but lesbians, bi non-binary people, ace women, gay men etc can be homophobic. Each group of queer person experiences homophobia uniquely, lesbiphobia is not the same as mlm homophobia, which is often based in femphobia, misdirected trans misogyny, and misogyny. And in fandom/media mlm homophobia takes on a whole entire form of fetishization (which isn't always inherently sexual).

Now! For my opinion on kevaaron.

I dont like it lol.

People can like what they like but personally if I don't like something I filter the tag and I have kevaaron filtered because I don't want to see it.

I think there is over emphasis on mlm ships with no chemistry over wlw ships that are arguably with more chemistry.

Overcoming your internalized homophobia is a real thing a lot of gay men have to face. And its hard, its really hard. And its not a thing to be rushed. A lot of peoples first gay relationship is really unhealthy because of this, dating someone who is closeted or freshly out, or being closeted or freshly out yourself is taxing.

Aaron and Kevin have less chemistry than renee and dan, (nora originally mentioned wanting them to maybe have something between them)

Most ships with aaron in my opinion seem to be based in the fact that it would be so cute for this short grumpy boy to be with someone so much taller, it also seems like a work around a lot of times with andrews trauma because you have his twin there.

Ships with aaron and matt are kind of funny to me because about all they share is a history with drugs. That's about it. Aaron is grumpy and matt is... actually not as sunny as fandom depicts him he's a lot more chill and less bubbly in canon but eh thats not really based in anything bad besides simplifying characters for fics and fandom.

I've never read a kevaaron fic but I wouldn't be surprised if they are rushed feeling like you said.

I still have internalized homophobia lol, and I've been out for 6 years now. its not an easy thing to undo.

Again I will state fandom is inherently self indulgent, I just also think that the core messages of the canon shouldn't be ignored and that people shouldn't say x charcters doesn't even have that flaw in canon. Characters are always multi faceted and complex if they're well written. They don't always have to be likeable. That's what makes them good, makes them foxes.

Its okay to like a character who is homophobic in canon and HC what you want, i have so many ideas for seth who I love, but I also want to make sure I dont fall into the "psych he wasn't a real homophobe-he was queer the whole time!" Trope because it inherently blames gay people for the homophobia they experience by making it a inter community issue where gay people just need to learn to not hate themselves, and "hahaha wouldn't it be so funny if this homophobe was gay, that'll show him" as if being gay and hating yourself and others is... a good thing to wish on others and the gay community. The truth is some, in fact most, homophobes are straight people.

That being said I have a headcanon that kevin is bisexual, aromatic, but is with thea his whole life despite neither of them not being very happy but content enough, he never realizes hes aro or bisexual, and it follows basically Nora's EC after that. And aaron is straight and haloy with kaitlyn but sometimes wonders if he held on so tightly and married her just because he already put in all that effort and not to prove his brother right when breaking up with her, but thats only when he's depressed otherwise he's happy and chillin.

There is a very low number of openly bi men compared to openly bi women "how many men would be bisexual if we let them" is a cool quote from tumblr, and an accurate one.

My headcanon isn't a happy one but in my opinion fits with canon pretty well which is why I like it. A lot of people don't ever fully find out who they are. That's the reality, and my fandoms elf indulgences are me giving myself more realistically canon "content" in my opinion. Thats how I self indulge but not everyone has to.

People who like kevaaron or aaron and matt, do you show the same support for renesion? For dan and renee, dan allison ? If not, why? They have the same level of chemistry, if not more.

Just some questions to wonder why you ship the things you do and why the bar for mlm chemistry is so much lower than it is for wlw chemistry.