#bee rants abt shadow the hedgehog

[sonic-love-island-official]

shadow's portrayal in the love island au. a(nother) ramble

i think the struggles shadow tackles in this au isn't quite the same to canon. shadow's really been through all his moments of finding his identity, working past his issues of feeling alienated, surrounding himself with people who stick by him and like him for who he is instead of those who seek to manipulate him. a lot of his character is mature. he's 28, has his head screwed on and knows what he wants. he might be a little reserved and that's who he is but he is wise enough to understand when to open up and who to

but then there's this side of shadow that hasn't quite matured. he's smug, arrogant and a downright prick when he doesn't get his way. he quarrels with sonic for no other reason than he's insecure. what they fight over is not the real trigger for their spats. shadow's afraid of loss still. he doesn't feel sure in himself that he's a good enough partner to keep someone in his company. and it makes him angry. i think sometimes he sees something in sonic he wishes he had himself. shadow doesn't wish to be likeable to everyone, but he does wish to have an approachable energy. sonic has that and i think that makes shadow worry that he's inadequate as a partner bc he's barely approachable as a person

along with this, shadow tends to become the person he hates most: a manipulator. shadow never does this with malicious intent, but he does test the waters a lot in the ways of people's limits and feelings. he often does make it obvious when he is making something a Test, but he deliberately toys with people's behaviours to elicit results. he's experimental. a part of me thinks he's just curious and likes to analyse what happens bc sometimes he does end up being quite perceptive on other's characters. but another part of me thinks he tests for his benefit. whether that's knowledge, or to get that reaction he wants. and that's a little bit of a red flag ngl if he does this with the intent of having someone behave a certain way. regardless, this aspect feels like a call back to sa2 shadow's behaviour, where he does manipulate others to get his desired result bc he knows no better

"i think that makes shadow worry that he's inadequate as a partner bc he's barely approachable as a person"

^^ keep in mind that this is not entirely true. shadow has this attractive nature he doesn't realise he has. mostly to women. men feel threatened by him and are reluctant to be chummy with him. shadow sees none of this. all he sees is people he would like to befriend and people who are excluding him for some reason. he really wrestles with a lot of social stuff in this au, which i'm sure doesn't make his feeling of alienation any more subdued :/

i just hate that not only does it make shadow upset (although he tries so hard to pretend it's not affecting him), it makes amy upset. and amy's notorious for her Emotion x100 reactions. she's HEARTBROKEN shadow isn't fitting in, even so late in the series. he ends up being snubbed by people he thought liked him and that's so cruel. amy doesn't acknowledge this side of shadow until she notices how quick he was to separate himself from everyone. i think she believed he was okay with the lads and with rouge. i love this was an arc these two had to go through bc it's not something normally added into any kind of media, really. bc amy got a fresh perspective, a look into a life of someone whose friendships aren't frequent or solid. i'm still hung up on this arc bc simple points that happened in this sims campaign, turn into story arcs and create a fuck ton of meaning

he shows two sides a lot of the time: one he wants everyone else to see (this guarded, untouchable, stoic being) and one he only wants a select group to see (soft, introspective, a little insecure)

he's just an introvert. he's not antisocial. he's just struggling. like everyone else in this fic and in real life. he does have friends, he does care, but he has a hard time opening up if he doesn't know if he can completely trust a person. he doesn't hate sonic. in fact, a lot of the time they can be civil, they just misunderstand each other's social inclinations and psychological struggles and it causes them to clash

shadow really goes into this theme of introversion and the difficulty of having and maintaining friends as an adult. love island is a show meant for social people and shadow isn't one of them. he has his own challenges to navigate with that. and it isn't perfect by the end. he never gets out of his shell fully and becomes a bright, bubbly, socialite. he's still the same, but he learns to cope better with what he's faced with. and for me, that's enough. life isn't always about drastic changes. sometimes it's the little lessons along the way that make it just that bit easier to face the world every day

[luv-again]

I TOTALLY FORGOT I HAD A TAG IN THE SLI BLOG THAT'S JUST:

#bee rants abt shadow the hedgehog

[sonic-love-island-official]

shadow rant bc he's weirdly objectified in this au a little bit. au content observation :

more often than not, every girl who's met him in this au is attracted to him. he's just central to girl's fantasies. he was ogled at by amy so very early on,, it's. sad

bc little to his knowledge, shadow's quite,, sexualised ?? idk man. it's weird. if it's in his control and the situation is relevant, he likes being perceived that way and receiving that kind of attention. but a lot of the time he doesn't know this is going on and it's outside of anything he's actually done and it's not really how he wants to be seen all the time but,, kinda is seen that way ??

and specifically in the daybed incident, a day after amy confesses she'd seen every inch of his skin, he wishes he wasn't seen like this Thing. and rather, a person with far more complexities. he doesn't know that he never truly achieved that with anybody. except amy, who quickly discovered: wow, this man is a little bit of a Problem Child (she ends up seeing many sides of him that nobody else would get the chance to see, bc she took that chance on him. it's nice. he has the opportunity and the safe space to BE nice)

he's a multi-faceted character, shadow. that's why i LOVE writing his perspective and actions throughout this fic. he just has so many sides seen by different people or never seen at all past written thought- he's such a yummy character to work with >:) there's just so many things to cover

it's even weirder that none of the girls fit under this category. it's just shadow that's this focal point of attraction. he's seen as this sexual being and nothing else. and the girls are all dynamic people in their own rights without this aspect fully dominating their every action and general existence

and rouge was originally designed to literally be sexualised so wtf happened when we were developing this (tbf i like that THAT kind of focus is mostly off rouge in this fic)

[sonic-love-island-official]

oh no (i recovered a shadow rant)

honestly sometimes writing shadow in the love island au is so buzzy to me bc I have nothing else from the former fandom to base his journey off </3

shadow's in his own personal reformation era. he's been removing all the toxic habits, people and traits from his life and he's creating a new, more mature identity for himself than what he had in the past

but I don't see a lot of that in fanworks I consume ??? either they go down the Bad Boy TM with a kind heart route or the Feral route or I Am An Asshole For No Reason route

but I'm writing a shadow who's none of these things ?? well, okay maybe he's a Lil feral, but it's not a big broadcasted thing and it's not an important detail. I'm writing a shadow that doesn't need to dabble in his trauma. he's been through that. he's processed it. still the effects linger around but it's not a major plot point. he's not really anything. he's just a guy. a little awkward and reclusive and Different but he's doing him and he's learning to grow into his adult self and discover his true path from there :))

basically how I see it is that the general perception is: shadow's worth (esp in fics) is what he is to someone else. and that makes me sad. sure, fics can be about relationships amongst characters,, but who are they on their own ?? it feels shallow, is all

and I don't wanna be Miss Know It All I'm Different but my shadow is a fully formed person by himself. he has his sense of identity. but it is one also subject to change. he discovers more of himself on the island and meeting amy has influenced and taught him many things. but they're not co-dependent on each other to make progress within the story ?? they just light a spark in the other to think about and things kinda happen on their own that way

idk man. justice for shadow bc he never gets portrayed in a true light (I don't claim my portrayal of shadow to be accurate either. shadow's one of those characters that's really up to interpretation and perception. but I think what I got down is enough to show what shadow represents within himself and as a symbol)

[sonic-love-island-official]

did i find another shadow ramble (yes i did)

the most contradictory thing abt love island au shadow is the fact that he's so accepting of who he is but also loathes himself to some degree

he knows who he is, he's had time to work that out. he knows how he is around people, when he's alone. and he feels no shame in that. and yet... he still wishes he was better. more vulnerable. more approachable. to be a person you could find comfort in, not this aloof fucker who can't say more than a few words out of fear they may be used against him

OH MY GOD THIS IS WHY HE LETS SILVER CRY TO HIM

bc silver saw the person he wanted to be in that moment and shadow instinctively replied exactly how he wanted to/should've: with kindness, patience and reassurance. shadow's dad speech is one of his sweeter moments. where he owed nothing to silver but chose to be kind anyway. silver needed someone to guide him and shadow immediately stepped into the role as if it were a part he was born to play

and the worst bit is: he's never gonna be perfect. he was literally created to be perfect and still he's messed up. still he's insecure. there was a bar set from even before his conception and it's something he can never live up to. that on top of his own expectations of himself and the person he thinks he should be,, well, it's crippling isn't it

it's rough. everyone in this au isn't fully mentally stable, but shadow walks the finest fucking line

he's so good at pretending 'this is the way i am. i'm completely fine' but every now and then something random will rupture that barrier and he pours with unrelenting emotion. i love that shit

[sonic-love-island-official]

Master List of Love Island AU!Shadow Trivia :

has one of the longest introductory interviews. second only to sonic himself

thinks he's old (at 28 ??), boring and unattractive to everyone else bc he has full knowledge of his history (no one else knows abt his past or has this perception ??)

he's unknowingly become this sex symbol and a ton of people like him but he has No Idea unless explicitly told (he's actually oblivious, bless him)

starts off acting like a Relatively Normal Person but the longer he's in the villa, the more unhinged he becomes

he's either a true gentleman or a buck wild loose cannon and there's no in between for some UNGODLY reason

he couldn't say amy's name to her face until 2 days after arriving in the villa. weird, inexplicable detail

repulsed by many of his genetic mutations - the physical ones specifically. he's greying prematurely and prevalently and that bugs him the most until amy pitches that he should start embracing that and convinces him to grow out his chest hair throughout the series :)

has had the wildest time through his twenties and bruh. that's a loaded sentence in itself, like,, where would i begin. it needs its own timeline

spent time in the military but apparently that is the least of his trauma (he's more hung up on his daddy issues for some reason)

concordant with the twitter takeovers, he likes lavender, does charity work, is a swiftie and loves coffee (and eating the beans ON THEIR OWN. he's rancid i love him. the little silly)

does not understand typical romance conventions and labels. ask him what his type is. he's got no idea. ask him to be exclusive. he's just gonna nod along and pretends he knows what that word means

tbf he's also the guy who uses phrases no one else in their right mind would say and says words people would have to stop speaking to him to google

along w this, he also says the most WARPED things with a smile on his face like,, 'this is fine :)' - he just,, says the right thing but in the WORST way possible that makes you a little concerned for his mental wellbeing

he's adamant on starting a family of his own. biologically. but he doesn't actually know whether he can do that bc his entire being was created in a lab. he's just hanging onto some hope that 'yeah,, maybe !!' instead of idk,, checking ?? seeing a medical professional ?? (he might have some issues with doctors, among various other things. sigh)

either says a 5 word sentence or a whole ass 20 paragraph monologue, depending on who he's talking to

actually had no beef with sonic at all for ages until sonic riled him up after one shocking recoupling and then they kinda flux between feuding and having some kind of respect for each other in certain situations

silver jokes these two ^^ are boyfriends bc of their dynamic, sonic's rogue, lil flirty throwaway comments towards shadow. they also kissed one time during a challenge, so there was that too 🤭

literally does everything. and i mean EVERYTHING shamelessly. he doesn't care who's around or what they say or how they look at him. he just does what he does or says what he says without a care

he had a platonic crush on blaze when she came into the villa. he had no idea who she was (bc she's a famous face) but just went: 'pls be my friend 🥺'. blaze liked him and posted up signs everywhere and the day she left, she told him right out and he was like: 'wait,, YOU LIKED ME ????'

for one of the most reserved characters, he's quite open and blunt. after all, he was the first ever islander that season to confess that he loved somebody ?? wow, shadow ?? you ??

clinical overthinker (his sections in 3rd pov are normally longer, more introspective than the others. i take up so much space writing his shit. my bias)

has this HUGE jealousy issue but it's his Big Thing To Work Thru and he does after movie night :)) but he says the most REVOLTING things influenced by jealousy that i can't even-

may actually be on the aro/ace spectrum somewhere but didn't acknowledge it until later in his life ??

he's just full of contradictions everywhere. it's so fun to work w

has a pretty good intuition !! can kinda just see shit before it happens

he genuinely tries to warn ppl if he picks up on sumn that could threaten someone else, but that can backfire on him sometimes and they go off at him for 'making it all abt him'

hypersensitive. and sometimes the effects of his hypersensitivity on him is taken out on other ppl if they choose to bother him at the wrong time

he kills time in casa amor by staring out windows and making food bc he didn't want to crack on or interact w new ppl

during this time he also refused to associate himself w Da Boys bc he could already see them abt to do stupid shit and decided to stay out of it

he isn't really a Da Boy until after casa i think ?? where they all bond over hating the casa boys that are in the villa (bc idk,, they're mean girls like that 🤭)

shadow mentors silver and is like his dad/grandpa figure !!

has really progressive views on particular things but would literally throw a fit if like,, amy held the door for him or sumn

[sonic-love-island-official]

still thinking abt this post bc in addition to this feature in the fic, it almost kind of reflects a general perspective within the fandom that shadow is this being of literal perfection and why should he be any less than 'The Ultimate Life Form'. i think that in itself plays a role in why shadow is seen by the girls in this way on the island. he's so 'conventionally attractive' that the immediate thought IS there's nothing more to him than that. a first glance, shallow, ignorant perception. bc his title refers to utmost perfection, there's this standard that he cannot be flawed when that is Not True. shadow is not perfect. he knows he's not too, which is why he doesn't understand why everyone fawns over him. he thinks bc he is flawed, everyone else will see through his eyes, which is also Not True. ugh

it's so messy. i don't even know why i haven't analysed this properly before. i was like 'oh man everyone likes shadow. tee hee kinda funny'. and actually,, it's not. it feels deeper and idk how to feel abt it

it plays on a type of attraction i don't experience and a concept i don't think i've ever deeped in my writing before (until now)

i have a lot of mixed feelings abt this particular detail. like,, what does it all mean ?? what does this reflect about me and how i perceive the world ? there feels like there's sumn to unpack here but idrk what root in my brain sprouted this idea

shadow rant bc he's weirdly objectified in this au a little bit. au content observation :

more often than not, every girl who's met him in this au is attracted to him. he's just central to girl's fantasies. he was ogled at by amy so very early on,, it's. sad

bc little to his knowledge, shadow's quite,, sexualised ?? idk man. it's weird. if it's in his control and the situation is relevant, he likes being perceived that way and receiving that kind of attention. but a lot of the time he doesn't know this is going on and it's outside of anything he's actually done and it's not really how he wants to be seen all the time but,, kinda is seen that way ??

and specifically in the daybed incident, a day after amy confesses she'd seen every inch of his skin, he wishes he wasn't seen like this Thing. and rather, a person with far more complexities. he doesn't know that he never truly achieved that with anybody. except amy, who quickly discovered: wow, this man is a little bit of a Problem Child (she ends up seeing many sides of him that nobody else would get the chance to see, bc she took that chance on him. it's nice. he has the opportunity and the safe space to BE nice)

he's a multi-faceted character, shadow. that's why i LOVE writing his perspective and actions throughout this fic. he just has so many sides seen by different people or never seen at all past written thought- he's such a yummy character to work with >:) there's just so many things to cover

it's even weirder that none of the girls fit under this category. it's just shadow that's this focal point of attraction. he's seen as this sexual being and nothing else. and the girls are all dynamic people in their own rights without this aspect fully dominating their every action and general existence

and rouge was originally designed to literally be sexualised so wtf happened when we were developing this (tbf i like that THAT kind of focus is mostly off rouge in this fic)

[sonic-love-island-official]

[ oh, we're still on this bandwagon ]

it could play a part in why shadow struggles to develop/maintain friendships too. he's either seen as someone you'd want to go down a sexual avenue with or someone you see as a threat. which is,, a horrible way to be looked at, really

bc beneath the sex appeal and his scary demeanour, shadow's a gentle soul. who wants to love. who wants to be loved. unconditionally. deep down he searches for a love he knows will last him a lifetime. some security and safety in having his loved one near

IS IT THAT HARD TO UNDERSTAND </3

i don't wanna say 'oh, shadow's so misunderstood. poor baby. no one gets him. rah'. but shadow is gravely misinterpreted. like i said, he's a very multi-dimensional character. it makes him complex and human and a lot of the time that's beyond what a person can comprehend sometimes. shadow will never be fully understood by anyone, i fear. i don't even claim to be someone who fully understands him either. there's parts of him i do not find kinship in mostly bc i haven't experienced what he has in his story. but i do realise he is an introspective soul and a character up to interpretation. i just want my interp to be deeper than what most dare to consider

maybe all this is why shadow thinks he can rekindle the potential of a friendship with blaze when she returned to the villa. even though she confessed before she left that she was attracted to him, he still persisted with this idea that they could be friends if she got to know him past how he presents himself to the general crowd

it makes me sad to think that both were far too stubborn in how they saw each other be able to compromise on the specifics of their relationship

shadow rant bc he's weirdly objectified in this au a little bit. au content observation :

more often than not, every girl who's met him in this au is attracted to him. he's just central to girl's fantasies. he was ogled at by amy so very early on,, it's. sad

bc little to his knowledge, shadow's quite,, sexualised ?? idk man. it's weird. if it's in his control and the situation is relevant, he likes being perceived that way and receiving that kind of attention. but a lot of the time he doesn't know this is going on and it's outside of anything he's actually done and it's not really how he wants to be seen all the time but,, kinda is seen that way ??

and specifically in the daybed incident, a day after amy confesses she'd seen every inch of his skin, he wishes he wasn't seen like this Thing. and rather, a person with far more complexities. he doesn't know that he never truly achieved that with anybody. except amy, who quickly discovered: wow, this man is a little bit of a Problem Child (she ends up seeing many sides of him that nobody else would get the chance to see, bc she took that chance on him. it's nice. he has the opportunity and the safe space to BE nice)

he's a multi-faceted character, shadow. that's why i LOVE writing his perspective and actions throughout this fic. he just has so many sides seen by different people or never seen at all past written thought- he's such a yummy character to work with >:) there's just so many things to cover

it's even weirder that none of the girls fit under this category. it's just shadow that's this focal point of attraction. he's seen as this sexual being and nothing else. and the girls are all dynamic people in their own rights without this aspect fully dominating their every action and general existence

and rouge was originally designed to literally be sexualised so wtf happened when we were developing this (tbf i like that THAT kind of focus is mostly off rouge in this fic)