#bee badgerlock

[floradelisstuff]

An edit on my Bee created months earlier. There are some new very exciting filters with in the filter software that I use and I like this much more.

[foolish-fitz]

everyone’s favorite normal and well-adjusted child

(I’m only on Fool’s Quest, no spoilers please!)

[spectrum-color]

Happy Fathers Day to Fitzchivalry Farseer, the man who is both obsessed with being a father to replace the family that abandoned him and ends up neglecting all of his actual kids in various ways because he isn’t remotely emotionally equipped to raise a child

[flintism]

ngl i would give my left arm to get an outsider pov of fitz/fool during the fools errand/pre quarrel golden fool era

[spectrum-color]

Needs so much therapy and would willingly attend: Beloved, Verity, Nettle

Needs so much therapy and would need to be dragged kicking and screaming: FITZ!!!! Burrich, Chade, Starling, Regal, Bee, Shrewd, Shine

Does not need much therapy but would go: Dutiful, Molly, Patience, Hap

Does not need much therapy and would never ever go: Elliania, Kettricken

Is the therapist: Nighteyes

blorbo alignment chart where one axis is "doesn't need much therapy" vs "needs SO MUCH therapy". and the other axis is "would willingly attend therapy" vs "needs to be dragged, kicking and screaming, to therapy"

[jewishdainix]

Remember how when Molly died Fitz said that he had nothing he could turn to to distract him from the reality of that loss.

When the Fool was gone Fitz immiderly went back to Molly to escape that loss.

Fitz spent the entirey of Fool's Fate unlearning his want for a happy heterosexual ending, and chose the Fool over it. But the dominos from the quarrel had already fallen and the Fool thought that Fitz would truely be happier than him.

And yes, Fitz did want to go back to Molly because of the memories he got back from the girl-on-a-dragon but the feellings he felt from it were very obviously contridictory to his current ones, and whenever he actually thought about it he knew that a) Molly would not want him back, its both too early and too late and b) he chooses the Fool. I think if he got to actually sit with those emotions they would have faded out, and he would not have sought out Molly. We know that because he chose the Fool.

But then the Fool was gone. And so Fitz went to Molly. Doing a huge dissrevice to both of them; not letting either of them grieve burich properly or agknoledge him, ignoring Molly's wishes and using her sons to get to her, etc; and in general acting how he was when he tried to get her to be with him when they were teens *cough cough harrassing*. Repeating the same old mistakes.

He tried to hide that tragedy in the guise of a perfect heteronornative happy ending, but that doesn't work, because he just spent an entire book unlearning it.

He just spent an entire book loving and losing and savagely mourning and choosing the Beloved over that happy ending. So theres this huge dissonance between everything in the Fool's Fate and its ending; So we don't believe him; So deep down, he doesn't believe himself. The comment about not having anything to distract him from Molly's death shows that.

And that "happy ending" he got isn't all that happy. The chapter in Fool's Fate is called "ever after", very clearly missing the "happy". Fitz says he is content. In Fool's Assassin he tells Molly that whenever she is happy he is content. But by the end of Fool's Fate he says he always waits to see the Fool again.

He shuts the wit out, he constantly misses the Fool. He leaves his and Molly's bed at night to write letters to the Fool, which he has no one to send them to.

He refuses any reminders of his life as the bastard prince and as an assassin and a catalyst. Reminders of his life outside his "happy ending" in Withywoods. He refuses to have gaurds. Because if he did have gaurds he would have to egknoledge that he is not Holder Badgerlock. That his life is dangerous. Ironically the very thing he did to keep the illussion of saftey made the place less safe.

There was so much talk of Fitz being (in)complete. Chade told Fitz that people say that children complete a man. And it almost seemed that way when Bee was born. Fitz saw Molly care for her and thought "so this is what a mother is". He tried to build himself what he lacked as a child, the life he could have had had he not been the bastrad prince, had he not been an assassin, had he not been witted, had he not been tortured and used and killed.

But because of that expectation of a perfect life and a perfect child, he did not love bee all her first years as he should have. And because of all those things he lacked, he could not be a good father to her.

He did by her as best as he could, but he simply did not have the tools to care for her. That all became very clear when Molly died. He really did try to do better. He contantly tried but he couldn't just will homself into being a good father, despite how much he loved Bee. And all that doesn't negate how much he loved her, but that doesn't mean she deserved better than what he could do. Despite how smart or mature she was, she still needed what Fitz couldn't do. Couldn't be.

And when his life in Withywoods was gone, Fitz still looked at it with pink-tinted glasses. He still clung to it, to what it represented. But it was not as he saw it. What he clung to it as. So after Bee was taken he felt like past after his death. Because he clung so long so hard to that happy ending. He wanted to die in his and Molly's bed in that "safe", "perfect" life at Withywoods. A life which was never as real as he wanted it to be. Never as happy. Never as whole.

[spending-life-pretending]

I’ve been hearing for so long about how Bee is Fitz and the Fool’s daughter so IMAGINE MY SURPRISE when I discover that not only did Molly “bad bitch” Chandler-Badgerlock carry this baby for a gestation period of MULTIPLE YEARS and manage the labor and birth BY HERSELF, but she also did all that ALONE while her dumbass husband (affectionate. mostly), family, and friends refused to believe her and thought she was GOING CRAZY!??! She’s a stronger woman than me!!!

[lordgolden]

ALSO I really wish Fitz brought Bee to Buckkeep because IMAGINE after years of gossip and speculation Tom Badgerlock shows up at court with a kid that looks suspiciously like Lord Golden LMAOOOO the castle would EXPLODE. Years old bets would have to be paid out

[ravenousgf]

My concern for Bee vied with my concern for Chade. I needed him to help me sort through all the Fool had told me about the Servants. Chade, if anyone, would know how to outfox them. I needed him for every aspect of my return to life at Buckkeep. It was unmanning to realize how much I depended on him. I tried to imagine the court at Buckkeep without him. Or my life without him manipulating all sorts of events from behind the curtains like a very clever puppeteer. I’d been counting on him to manufacture and release plausible explanations for where I had been and my connection to Tom Badgerlock, if there was to be one.

fitz feeling unmanned and going back to childhood around chade vs fitz saying he "never felt like less of a man" that he held beloved as they slept together in fools fate.......................truly a situation of who can wield him in the best and gayest way

[khutsydoh]

I Wonder what people think about holder Tom badgerlock. He raised hap gladheart, the famous minstrel, became the manservant of lord golden and rumoured lover before said lord disappeared from the face of the earth with crippling debts, went to jail for triple murder and then was released and applauded as a loyal servant instead, then married molly Chandler, wife of chivalry's former right hand man and mother of skillmistress nettle. Oh, and he also wrote a book about the wit that bee was reading. People must think he sure had a crazy life

[chloristoflora]

"Shine! Shine, stop! You're safe! Shine, it's me, Fitz—Badgerlock! And Riddle. We're here to find you and take you home. You're safe! Shine. Where's Bee? Was she with you?"

The saddled white horse had jigged aside from us. It was evidently only following the brown because it had no idea what else to do. Riddle pulled his horse in, dismounted hastily, and approached Shine. She kicked at him, shrieked again, and then fell off her horse and into his arms. I dismounted, took her reins, and stood stupidly as he patted her back and told her she was all right, she was safe, she was safe now.

Her wailing slowly faded to deep sobs and then to breathless, shaking weeping. "Bee? Shine, where's Bee? Shine, look at me. Do you know where Bee is?"

To Riddle's gentle questions, she only shook her head wildly and sobbed louder. A terrible certainty was building in me. The white horse came closer. I ignored it until it stood near enough that with a calm step I could take the end of the dangling reins. Two horses. Two saddles. One rider. No Bee. The saddle on the brown horse was definitely Chalcedean-made. The one on the white horse was like nothing I'd ever seen before. High in the front and low in the back. It looked uncomfortable to me.

Bee, where are you? Did you ride on this horse?

"Tom Badgerlock."

I turned in surprise. Her voice was thick from weeping. She'd pushed back her hood. Her hair was matted and hung in wads about her face. She'd lost weight, and the boniness of her face made her look more like Chade. Her lips were rough and her cheeks chapped red. She was still breathing hard but she had stepped clear of Riddle. The white fur coat she wore was enormous, hanging in folds around her. Her hands clutched her forearms and she hugged her body tight as if she might fall into pieces. She faced me and looked directly into my eyes. This was a different woman from the one who had demanded that all life must stop until we had purchased green stockings for her.

"Bee," she said. "They took Bee."

"I know," I said. I tried to keep my voice calm and even. "They took you and they took Bee. But you're safe now." I drew a breath. "Bee. Do you know where Bee is now?"

"They took her," she said again. "They took her into a stone with them."

Fool's Quest, by Robin Hobb (Fitz and the Fool Trilogy #2)

[floradelisstuff]

The Destroyer

[foolish-fitz]

why did no one fucking tell me that Bee's hair isn't fucking white. it's BLONDE. I would have been so much less upset about Fitz not realizing what's going on with her if I knew that she was blonde. augh

[spectrum-color]

One of the most frustrating things about Fitz is his relationship to fatherhood. He is obsessed with having a child. When Patience warns him that the method Molly is using for contraception doesn’t actually work, he just thinks about how tragic it is that she’s even trying to prevent pregnancy in the first place. He is stuck on a domestic fantasy where he marries and has a family with her and has no plan about how to make this actually work. Of course she ends up pregnant, and he watches her and the baby in dreams and talks about going to them and marrying her, but then she marries Burrich and he chooses to pretend he’s dead and not to be in his daughters life at all rather than face the reality that Molly ended up with someone else (I don’t believe for one moment that it was actually selfless or for their safety considering that he went back to the much riskier Buckkeep where he would be surrounded by people who knew him before.)

He takes in Hap, but clearly doesn’t really know what to do with him and doesn’t give him much in the way of guidance or planning for his future until Hap brings it up himself. He just kind of floats along in his depression cabin. When he’s dragged back to Buckkeep, he’s initially resentful of and a total dick to Dutiful (his bio son unbeknownst to anyone but him and the Fool.) It takes the poor kid basically forcing a relationship for them to have any kind of positive interactions. Later on, he gets his memories and feelings back, and it seems like he’s going to make a good effort to finally connect with Nettle and help take care of Molly and Burrichs sons now that they’ve lost their dad. Instead, it seems he mostly pays attention to the kids for the sole purpose of impressing Molly and then loses interest once he marries her. His life with her ends up being about reliving his teenage romance rather than becoming part of her family. He has a distant relationship with Nettle and none of note with his stepsons.

Then comes Bee, a bio child he can raise from birth (something he always fixated on.) She doesn’t turn out like he expected. She is very slow to grow and develop, and people around them think she may have disabilities. Fitz is blatantly disappointed by her and leaves her care to Molly since she isn’t the kind of child he wanted. It isn’t until Molly dies and he has no choice that he makes any kind of effort to bond with Bee, and he still flounders in the way that only a man raised by people who had no idea what they were doing can. When she’s missing, he tries to hide her journals from Beloved not because he’s reluctant to share her but because he’s ashamed of what kind of father he was and afraid of what it will say about him.

Despite how critical I’ve been here, I think this all makes sense. Fitz was a deeply lonely kid who was traumatized by his parents abandonment, and he wanted a family of his own to fill that void. He doesn’t have the emotional skills or maturity (he continues acting like a teen well into adulthood) to actually parent effectively though, so he ends up falling vastly short of the life he’s convinced he can have.

[kinuskikakku]

I just realized that the villains were literal White supremacists

and Bee burned them all.

[nicodranas]

I'm still doing these palette challenges but now I've made my own!