#because you can't really mess that up and I like it anyways

[brotherwtf]

cooking up a teacher au with @hogans-heroes lmao

John who's the baseball coach/gym/health teacher, he loves working with the kids and helping them integrate into high school/becoming their own person, but also knows that gym is always such a weird fucking class to do that so he does his best to make sure everyone is doing smth they enjoy

it isn't easy those first few weeks, but things start to change when the kids who didn't speak a word the first week start forming friendships, walking in with friends and just so so happy to tell John about the new librarian they were just talking with, and John thinks he may need to pay this librarian a visit so he can thank them for helping make the kids more comfortable

they meet officially at back to school night, John's sauntering around and being annoying when his eyes lock on a table with a big stack of books and the most beautiful man John has ever laid eyes on sitting behind the table, looking uninterested and almost a little shy with all of the parents milling around and John makes a fucking beeline for him so a parent doesn't swoop in and talk to this angel

all big and confident with his hand thrust forward "I'm coach Egan but everyone calls me Bucky" and the man looks at him with an unamused expression, shakes his hand and raises his eyebrows like John's failing a test that he didn't know he was taking

"I'm Gale, I'm the new librarian" he says, voice deep with a slight southern drawl and fuck, John is really really starting to see the appeal of this new librarian

insert lovely banter where John's like "you don't look like a Gale" and christens him Buck and Gale can't help but smile, hiding it behind his delicate hand as John just straight up makes a fool out of himself

"listen, Buck, I have no idea what's so special about you but the kids are eating it up. I gotta say, I really do appreciate you making them feel so comfortable at school during their day" John says and goddamn the flush that spreads across Gale's cheeks is as beautiful as a sunset

"it's my job, I love helping the kids and providing a space for them to be excited about learning. that's why I wanted to do this in the first place" Gale says and John's heart swells, both with utmost respect and because Gale just rolled his sleeves up his forearms and John can't help but ogle

anyway John finds himself spending his lunch breaks with Gale in the library, bothering him and being annoying as per usual but Gale finds it so endearing, tidying the papers that John messes up on purpose and stifling his laugh at John's dumb jokes, man these bitches are in love fr

and John sees how much of an impact Gale has on the kids, he nurtures each and every one of them into wanting to learn, wanting to explore, giving them space to become their own people, and John thinks he falls in love with Gale a little bit more every day

Gale who thinks he's unlovable, which is why he throws himself into the work of providing a space for the kids to learn, always giving and giving and giving and never taking, but John teaches Gale that he does deserve love, that the kids are happy bcs of Gale and John is so so so in love with Gale, so much so that he proposes to Gale at prom, in front of all of the kids who have been impacted for the better by the both of them... and Gale has never felt more loved in his entire life

[prettealolilol]

So, I love the headcanon of the batfam being menaces in the kitchen, and that half of them are banned from entering for the rest of their life.

However, you can't tell me that Batman, the man who has contingency plans for his contingency plans, who carries shark spray repellent, the man who travelled for a year (i think ?) on his own with only a backpack (and a lot of money but still), doesn't know how to cook. There is no way, he can't fend for himself in any type of situation (apocalypse ? ready; zombies ? ready; stranded on an island on his own ? ready). He can definitely take care of himself without Alfred, because Bruce is paranoid and there's the eventuality of the butler dying. And anyway, he probably learnt some dishes when he was younger so he could help Alfred around the house (it made him feel closer to the only caring adult in his life). He also definitely learnt traditional dishes while travelling and every time he adopts (it's his way of showing he cares).

(Cooking was one of the ways he bonded with Jason. The boy was tense and wary, not used to having so much food for free. When Bruce realised Jason cooked, he offered to teach him a few dishes he learnt around the world. It was the first time Jason called Bruce 'dad'. Every year they would cook (and make a mess) for Alfred's birthday.)

There's this whole thing with Dick only eating cereal (I don't know much about him, sorry) and being close behind Bruce as a kitchen menace. I don't really know how life in a circus works, but I'll go with the fact that they didn't always have access to a kitchen while traveling, so the food was never sophisticated. Yet, with the circus, Dick travelled a lot and met wonderful people. Some locals would sometimes bring them traditional plates, and even teach him how to cook them. The reason he doesn't really cook is because he finds the kitchen too complicated. Who needs so many utensils ? It's disorienting and feels too clinical (Dick associates cooking with sweet lessons from his mom and having fun with the people from the circus.).

(The times he actually took the time to cook at the manor was when Jason joined and they would try to bake. Dick cooks with Damian sometimes. At first it was to make him comfortable by being domestic, giving the excuse of learning to work together, but now it's just to bond. Bruce joins them sometimes.)

As said previously Jason knows how to cook. I'm not sure if it's canon, but he cooked for his mom, and is never banned from the kitchen in what I read. Similarly to Dick, he grew up cooking easy things. He didn't have access to much food, most of the time stealing from markets and fighting for bread in back alleys. He would stand in the shadows, staring at the window of a restaurant kitchen until he knew the moves by heart and would redo them at home (he'd spend days saving money and stealing the adequate ingredients). It was always simple dishes though. So when Jason first stepped in the kitchen ? He was amazed, and felt like one of those chefs he would observe for ours. The first weeks, he'd wait until everyone was in bed and sneaked in to cook (Alfred always acted like he didn't know). When he came back to Gotham after the pit, he began stress-cooking a lot. He'd steal money from Bruce and cook enough to feed a whole building in Crime Alley (he ate some once and threw up immediately. It tasted too much like home. He never ate anything he cooked again).

(Cooking with Alfred became an excuse to come to the manor and stay for dinner and sometimes even the night. (The first few times, the butler was the only one Jason could be with without activating his fight or flight instinct.) Watching his family unknowingly eat something he cooked and praising the food makes him feel like he may be allowed to be part of the family. Slowly, he starts leaving food to them (on the batmobile because he knows Bruce didn't eat before patrol, in Tim's office because he overworked and didn't go home, in Dick's kitchen because he got hurt during his day job), and nobody ever mentions it.)

I already explained my point of view for Tim in a previous post. Whether his parents were loving or not (fanon vs canon), they still travelled a lot. So Tim grew up having to learn to cook because there wasn't always someone at Drake's manor, and Drakes don't call people in the middle of the night because they're hungry or a little sick. So Tim knew the basics to care for himself, he learnt to wrap and stitch his own wounds at ten after being too close to an explosion where Batman and Riddler fought (seeing later the pictures he got, Tim thought getting some glass in his arm was completely worth it). Of course, he doesn't know any complicated dishes, he does enjoy the chemical aspect of it, the reactions between the ingredients, the way the molecules change with time and temperature variations. Tim also enjoys the historic aspect of it, so he'd learn to make dishes just because he liked the story related to its invention (it has proven useful in many social gatherings to know so much about food and culture). When he started as Robin, those skills became useful when he had to cook for Bruce in the middle of the night because he wouldn't wake Alfred up. After moving in the manor, Tim kind of dropped this little hobby. Alfred is here to cook, and he has other things to worry about (Jason coming back, then Damian being introduced, the whole time stream issue...).

(When he has some time, Tim scrolls on his social media, saving videos about recipes and learning about dishes and their history. He promises himself he'll find some time to try them. When Jason starts leaving each of them food, Tim buys a recipe book. As often as he can, he cooks something, prints a copy of the recipe and drops it off at Jason's current place. One time, when Damian is sick and no one else but Tim is at the manor, he ends up cooking an Arabic dish (a grandma recipe for sick children). Damian stops saying he's useless after this.)

Again, I don't know much about Cass, so it's really how I feel about it. Cass grew with simple dishes. When she joined the batfam, she didn't understand the importance of sharing a meal, people eating together, Alfred spending so much time in the kitchen, or why there were so many ways to cook one ingredient. Just like Dick, the kitchen feels too unnecessarily full, too many things that are just not imperative. To her, food was here to feed and strengthen the body. Cooking should be fast and easy because food was not supposed to be pleasant, just necessary. She doesn't really know how to cook. She can prepare food so it's edible, hunt or light up a fire. But growing up with her father taught her that food is only here to feed. She actually discovers its importance after walking in on Jason and Alfred cooking together. It was one of the rare times Jason would go farther than the cave and into the manor. They were not talking, and yet the atmosphere was soft, acknowledging. Reading Jason's body, she saw happiness and contemptment, the usual tension and anger nowhere in sight. She asks Tim about him (because he's the one who offered to teach her sign language, the one who she goes to when she needs a definition.) and he tells her how cooking can be many things, it can be an offer, it can be death, it can be love, it can be survival...

(Alfred once explained how it was his way of caring. He'd make different dishes depending on people's mood or state. When Cass understood that cooking was a form of language, she took it upon herself to learn. She watches Alfred cook for days, asking questions. She goes to Jason's place to ask him his opinion, teasing him when he gets flustered under her staring. She learns to cook and enjoys it.)

At the league, Damian was a prince. He didn't cook, it was beneath his status, there were servants for that. Like Cass, although he had access to higher quality food, it was only there to feed you. When he arrived at the manor ? The shock to see only one servant, and that his Father sometimes cooked for himself. His Father, who her mother had represented as a king, someone powerful enough to have his grandfather's respect, the man he was supposed to become. It took time for Damian to step into the kitchen for different reasons. First of all, the kitchen was not his place to be, it's Pennyworth's territory. He was not welcome there and knew that to make an enemy out of the man that raised his Father. Secondly, Damian was taught restraint, he would not give in to his basic urge. He could wait until morning even if he felt like his stomach was clenching on itself. The reason for walking in the kitchen was Grayson dragging him inside, promising some bonding time necessary for working together (it was fun, although Damian would not admit it).

(After realising the importance of cooking in the household, Damian decided he could not not know how to cook. Everyone seemed to have the knowledge it wouldn't do for him not to know. Maybe, he also felt like cooking would teach him to be a better part of the family and be accepted as the method he was taught all his life did not work. He learnt to cook on his own, sneaking in the kitchen and training. When he finally mastered a dish, he announced to Alfred he'll be cooking for the evening. Even if he'd never admit it, the praises he received that evening made him feel lighter, like he belonged. And no Grayson, he was not blushing.)

When Duke moves in the manor, it's kinda weird to have a butler. Duke was raised in a normal, middle class family, so cooking is a normal thing he helped his parents with. He would come home from school and help his parents cook dinner, sometimes doing it himself if they were still at work. He didn't know anything fancy or foreign dishes, but he could cook well. So having Alfred do it alone all day ? Not how Duke was raised. The first weeks, he would go into the kitchen and offer his help to Alfred, who would constantly refuse, joking about letting him do his job or he might become useless in his old age. Although it was a joke, Duke (who had just moved in and didn't really know how to act) stopped asking, not wanting to make the butler think he was taking his place.

(He still cooks sometimes, when he feels nostalgic. Cooking reminds him of his parents, his mothers' laughter and his father(s warm hand on his shoulder. When Duke discovers that Cass is learning to cook, he decides to do it with her, learning new recipes from around the world. It helped him a lot to feel at home at the Wayne manor.)

My point is, love the massacre this family can be when left unattended in a kitchen, but they definitely know how to cook.

[windixie]

the way things go | frat boy! gojo x reader

🍎 pairing . academic rivals college au . frat boy! gojo x reader

summary . ever since you could remember, gojo was always significantly better than you in anything and everything. given that you have gone throughout grade school to high school, and to eventually college with him. competing through test scores and letter grades, you find yourself hating the white haired man even more. after your friend convinces you to let loose for once and enjoy a frat party, you wind up in the bed of none other than gojo. the bigger problem? you can't remember anything before that but he does. and he's not letting you go anytime soon.

warnings ⓘ 18+, fem! reader, enemies to lovers, academic rivals, smut, fluff, angst, gojo is really mean, sort of slow burn?

taglist . @littlxpxtal @hyori2 @aldebrana @hanakotateyama @byakuya61085

master list . link

playlist . any song rec that fits the aesthetic are always welcome !

wc : 957

authors note . this is probably going to be a rlly short part :p

ch. 2/ 🌱

you didn’t care if you were being dramatic — you wanted that damn apple cider. if I haven’t made it clear enough, you waited all day yesterday, and there was no way you were ever getting over the fact that asshole took away your baby.

“im not going!” you snapped as you stormed into your dorm scaring mari half to death, messing up her eyeliner, as you threw your bag onto the floor and desperately yanked off your red scarf throwing it carelessly without a second thought. “well who’s got your panties in a twist?” mari sneered as she went back to fixing the eyeliner on her right eye. “satoru gojo!” you shouted grabbing at your hair. “uh oh what’d he do this time?” mari asked casually as if this wasn’t a first, because well it wasn’t. she brought the eyeliner back to her eye to try again. “he took away the last apple cider! my apple cider. it’s like he knows exactly how to ruin my life!” you groaned collapsing onto your bed hugging your caterpillar stuffed animal — the one you won at the fair.

“well the apple cider stand is popular, you can’t exactly blame him for getting the last one” her words weren’t even out of her mouth when it clicked. you told him that you were heading to the fair. and you’re sure he knows how much you enjoy the beverage. “it is.” you sat up your thoughts racing. “uhuh.” mari said raising an eyebrow. “so you going or not”

you paused trying to reason for a moment. “no way, it’s all his fault” you grumbled laying back down throwing the caterpillar up in the air and catching it in your hands. “you’re throwing a fuss over something so small” mari looked over at you unimpressed. small? small? how dare she! “it’s not small!” you snapped your head to look at her. okay well maybe your reaction was too much. but it was apple cider for the love of god. “just come to the party, I’ve got a date tonight and if things go south, I need you there to keep me at my toes.” you supposed you could hold a grudge. the vendor would be there tomorrow anyways, you could get the cider then. “fine..”

that’s how you found yourself standing at the front of the frat house. already regretting your decision as you could smell the stench of sweat and alcohol from outside making you scrunch your nose up in disgust. mari chuckled at your reaction before dragging you inside. she somehow not only convinced you to come to the party, but she also forced you to wear one of her dresses. you were a bit upset on not being able to wear the skirt you purchased earlier but you figured it’d be best to wear it on a more special occasion. like thrifting. maybe you’d scare off any competition from snatching the good finds for sure. the second you stepped foot onto the building, the loud and vibrating music hit you like a period that was supposed to come in three days.

“jesus christ” you mumbled seeing all the people making out on the couch that you definitely did not want to sit on.

“hey you made it!” you heard a voice approaching. this must be mari’s date. he wasn’t bad looking, you thought. “ah suguru!” mari embraced him in a hug, which he returned before basically snatching her away from you.

“what the-“ your eyes widened. no no don’t leave me! you thought as you looked around like a timid deer on the road. you looked back at the direction in where the pair went off to, only to see that they were completely gone. you whined before making your way deeper into the party, your body rubbing upon others as you shimmied your way into what you believed was the kitchen. your pink mini dress rode up a bit exposing the cute lace panties you were wearing underneath. In embarrassment, you quickly pulled it down. thankfully no one seemed to notice.

no one but satoru.

you sighed in relief seeing refreshments on the table. and that’s how your night went. hidden away in the kitchen swallowing what you thought was kool aid. looking back now, maybe that wasn’t the brightest thought.

satoru just came back from shoving his cock down some girls throat which left him unsatisfied, before he noticed you. that’s a first. seeing you at a party when you were originally what he thought, the introverted nerd. he smirked seeing how stressed you looked before his eyes darkened taking sight at those pretty panties. he let out a low groan. such a sweetheart. wearing something like that to his party? it’s like you were blessing him.

in your now drunken state, you barely noticed satoru approaching.

“didn’t think you’d actually come, who invited you?” he asked leaning forward, his body taking over yours easily at the size difference.

your eye twitched as you pointed your finger at his chest. “you..! you took away my apple cider!” you slurred out making the boy in front of you chuckle.

“baby I already told you, I just happened to grab the last one. it’s not my fault you took so long to get there..” he grabbed your hand interlocking his fingers onto yours bringing you closer. “and it’s rude to point” he whispered into your ear.

you whined trying to pull away from the muscular white haired man. “I told you to stop calling me that ! am so upset you don’t even- mmph!” you were cut off as satorus lips smashed onto yours moaning into the kiss.

“you wanna be even more of a brat? I’ll fucking treat ya like one.”

authors closing note . sorry not much happened in this chapter but it will lead perfectly into the next one which will just be reader and gojo fucking ^^

[starberry-cupcake]

I'm back!! and I have a bunch of chapters this time, so let's see how I do with this one.

previously, in nona del 9:

this happened

this is the general tag

CHAPTER 13 (third house skull for coronabeer)

the sticky notes with little giraffes my sister had gifted me to read nona ran out so I had to get a couple packets of colorful stickies to continue

I bought two packs of 200 each and was like 'this for sure is gonna be more than enough'

I'm not sure of that now, after first use

I think nona might appreciate the colors (and the previous giraffes)

even if they're not tlt aesthetic

ANYWAY, we're leaving the meting with BOE in the not-so-secret-very-obvious-actually meeting place

nona apparently all along knew that el machetes was actually la machetes and her name is our lady of the passion aka pash

coronabeer asks her how she knows that and nona says it's the way she moves her bones

camilla asks coronabeer to let her see "her"

and insists, saying she can help "her"

by this point I'm, of course, thinking about judith

turns out, it is judith

camilla asks if judith is part of the negotiation, to which coronabeer responds that she is not, she's "their ticket out of there"

judith is in an awful state, btw

she's doing really badly, hooked to stuff, fed through tubes, looking like hell

nona feels bad for her

I feel really bad for her

what are you doing to that wet mouse

with no necromancers around, she's the only one who can help herself, and she can't always do it

let's remember coronabeer was a fake necromancer

and, apparently, varun is hurting her

nona states again that she doesn't like the sunglasses and, since camolive are busy, I'm gonna take note of that myself

camolive (which I had stated before that I thought was actually palmolive right now, but here it's still undetermined) asks for some space to work and help judith in this rudimentary medical setting they have her in

coronabeer is being very tsundere about it all

she's acting like she's not worried about the love of her life

but nona is like "I see you"

coronabeer clocks palmolive being himself and not camilla

(I CALLED IT)

palmolive says he hopes she didn't mess up judith on purpose to get him to show himself

you weren't subtle, my man

wearing sunglasses inside like bono

coronabeer says she won't tell anyone about palmolive and camilla sharing the body apartment

she tells palmolive about how camilla, judith and her bonded in summer camp detention with BOE

and how she was grieving for him but, after meeting harrow, she was fine, so she assumed camilla had always been right about the bones thing

the gall of thinking camilla can be wrong

judith can do half of the job of healing herself and needs palmolive to help her with the rest, while she comes in and out of making sense

nona reminds palmolive about the timer

coronabeer reminds judith where she is, but she sometimes gets fuzzy with it

judith tells them that if they say they have been coerced, she'll tell everyone that they didn't meant it

I think we're past that point, but hope is the last thing to lose, judith

coronabeer holds her hand while judith talks about how they're using her to go against her house and when coronabeer says she isn't making sense, she responds that coronabeer hasn't made sense in months

judith says her hands are too filthy to save camilla

nona thinks it's funny to think of someone having to save camilla

same, tbh

and then, she talks to nona

"Ninth, where is the mercy of the Tomb? Where is your sword in the coffin? Who are your masters now, and who do you master? Where is my cavalier, Reverend Daughter? Where is yours? Because I saw her in the waves —she was there in the gray water— I saw them all—they hurt me—where is my hunger? I eat and eat and eat without surcease, my green thing, my green-and-breathing thing..."

SO

I think my tally of this being harrow's body might be correct

not so sure about gideon's soul now, though, if judith is out there seeing her?

in the river? maybe?

she says "in the gray water" so maybe it is the river

maybe she can access the river in her almost-dead state?

or perhaps the one she saw was martita and not gideon?

maybe she could see all of the ghosties, because she said "I saw them all"

how does she know about gideon's sword in the coffin, though?

AGAIN, PLEASE DON'T ANSWER ANY OF MY QUESTIONS

LET ME FAIL

after that, she screams, palmolive puts her to sleep and then he switches with camilla

he puts her/his hand on her shoulder, which is cute

coronabeer then understands that camolive switch places and doesn't like it much

she swears by yandere twin that she won't tell about this and reminds camilla that she has kept her secrets before

wonder what yandere twin is doing rn

swimming in the river maybe idk

kissing dr john's ass and all that

or maybe not, if dr reverend emperor john is out there taking his monologue show on the road with alleged harrow-not-harrow

camilla offers coronabeer an out from BOE but coronabeer is too deep into judith to leave her

she frames it in a tsundere way, like "if something happens to judith, how am I getting out of here?"

I see you coronabeer, you're doomed

you love that wet mouse

coronabeer tells camilla "you and I don't own our own souls"

to which camilla replies "My soul's mine. You give yourself away to anyone who doesn't want you."

coronabeer says she always had a soft spot for palmolive

to which camilla says "you were part of the lie"

I think this has to do with the sixth house situation

nona, trying to make things less tense, makes things even more tense, as a treat

she asks about the water and the green thing that judith mentioned

both camilla and coronabeer look at her as if she was a ghost

coronabeer says "The Captain didn't say anything when you came into the room. She only screamed."

??????????????????????????????????

I had to go back, because judith responded to things palmolive and coronabeer said

after nona touches palmolive's arm and reminds him of the timer, judith asks where she is and coronabeer answers

they have a back and forth there

coronabeer even says she must have some eight in her blood because of the melodrama

she talks about the green thing and the water right after her and coronabeer where having a back and forth on whether they had or hadn't lived

and after she talks to nona/harrow, is when palmolive makes her sleep

so, at which point was this?????

if this is some sixth sense situation, coronabeer and palmolive shouldn't have been able to answer things judith said

and coronabeer very much did

I'm gonna trust they're not gaslighting nona and that something went on here

maybe they meant the screaming was only in the part where judith talks to nona specifically

we'll see

DON'T TELL ME

CHAPTER 14 (we've got the tomb back!)

coronabeer offers to drop nona at school and nona is so excited about it that she doesn't even consider the dangers of jumping out of the van and leaving camilla and pyrrha there

she thinks it's a selfish thing that won't have dangerous consequences because they have a code for when dangerous consequences are imminent

still, gotta put a child barrier on this one

they get spare masks and coronabeer offers nona her hood

coronabeer says that she has as much right to nona as camilla does and that nona isn't that much younger than camilla is, anyway

when nona says that she loves camilla, coronabeer asks if she loves her romantically

not in those adult words I just used, mind you, she says "Do you love love Camilla? In-love-with Camilla?"

use your grown up words, coronabeer

nona, on the other hand, feels out of her depth when spoken to like an adult

so she changes subject, telling coronabeer that camilla isn't coronabeer's type

coronabeer wants to talk about herself, which is a subject she's very passionate about

but it backfires like crazy when nona calls her out on acting flirty without meaning towards we suffer, wanting camilla to hug her but not in a sexy way and being in love with "th—"

this is judith, we're talking about judith

coronabeer is upset at being dissected emotionally and nona says "You shouldn't ask me things if you don't want me to tell you the truth about them"

girllllllllllllllllllllllll

I want this as a welcome mat in my house

coronabeer getting owned like chad over here

third house annihilation, one by one

coronabeer thinks she should ask nona about whether she's pretty and ask yandere twin about emotional things, because that way she'd hear what she wants

this girl would have been a menace with social media

anyway, coronabeer and nona get to school and angel teacher is just coming in

angel teacher is looking worse every time the camera comes back to her

angel teacher is taken aback by coronabeer but doesn't let her meet nona's gang because she's carrying a gun

nona is very disappointed at this turn of events

coronabeer says she's camilla's partner and angel teacher is again surprised at this

nona thinks coronabeer is nearly pretty enough for camilla

nobody is perfect enough for camilla, though

also, over my dead body, coronabeer

go chase your wet mouse, thank you very much

could I beat her in a fight? no, but could make a very compelling power point presentation? absolutely

boobs, hair and a sword vs boobs, hair and a solid dissertation

nona thinks coronabeer should have said nona was dating her instead, because camilla doesn't need the street cred as much as she does

coronabeer says she knows what nona is, even if they refuse to see it, and that she envies nona more than anyone in the universe

I mean, yeah, childish wonder and relentless will to believe in the best of people sounds great right about now

nona is steven universe

CHAPTER 15 (seventh house skull again!!!!! very sus!!!!)

everyone's kind of fighting about having seen coronabeer and sriracha girlie was worried for nona's safety

nona asks her not to be sad if something happens to her

sriracha girle also has the angel teacher update, says she was dropped off by a car this time

sriracha girlie considers this an additional protection towards her, to which nona asks why is angel teacher so special

great question, imo

apparently, everyone but nona, sriracha girlie and kevin are leaving for lunch

main teacher is very confused about this until sriracha girlie informs her that there's gonna be a broadcast

main teacher asks angel teacher about it

(angel teacher's name is apparently aim)

(as in aim for the door if they come for you, angel teacher)

main teacher asks if they're gonna start arrests and they decide to move the conversation to another location, away from the kids

sriracha girlie knows more than they do, though, but ok

we need to protect kevin from this

we love kevin

nona is weird with food again, this time eats only ice cubes and a pencil

at this point, I'm realizing it isn't just me thinking she's particular with food, she indeed is particular with food and also very weird about it

she behaves exactly like our puppy who eats what she shouldn't and we have to be looking at her with 26 eyes because she hunts for snails and pieces of wood

nona asks sriracha girlie what the broadcast is about

as you might have guessed, it's about necromancers

nona tells sriracha girlie that she knows she's been at the park at night and sriracha girlie tells her not to go there, ever

she confirms that the "you-know-what" were killed

says that someone high up took them before they burned, with a shot to the head

sriracha girlie says she goes with two others, nona guesses it's honesty and born in the morning

nona says "Born in the Morning" and sriracha girlie corrects her and says "You mean Born in the Morning"

I don't see how that's different? neither does nona?

???????????

hope this is just a nona pronunciation thing I can't get in written form and not yet another ortus vs gideon thing, I can't take another one of those

it's written exactly the same, once without and once with emphasis

nona asks sriracha girlie if she's with BOE but sriracha girlie also hates them

she calls them traitors but also says they sell them guns

which...idk what to think of that

I mean, I understand the traitors bit, since they're currently in dialogue with necromancers

but selling guns to civilians is definitely A Move from BOE

sriracha girlie talks about how her family was killed and how she trains with a sword because she doesn't want to be caught off guard ever again like her brother was

while also saying that she wishes nona was her sister

god, this is gonna end terribly

sriracha girlie, I don't know about your future

this looks bad

so, nona tells sriracha girlie "her Secret"

????????????????????

sriracha girlie recommends her a clinic where angel teacher works

nona asks her not to tell anyone about it because she's the only one who knows

I assume this Secret isn't that she's potentially one of two people connected with the Ninth because sriracha girlie hasn't stabbed her yet

right in front of kevin's salad

we love kevin

I also don't think it's about her having memory loss, because pyrrha, camilla and the entire BOE know that, and nona says sriracha girlie is the only one who knows

unless she meant only one except for her people

but it wouldn't make sense for her to just say "Secret" and not elaborate, if that was the case??? in her recount of events????

also, why does she need a clinic for it????

nona can heal herself, she can't have a Secret related to anything physically damaging that she'd need a clinic for

the only thing she's got going on is memory loss and being potentially one of two people

neither of which are things nobody else knows about but sriracha girlie and nona

she's not having a baby or having a surprise degenerative disease

am I making too much of a mess out of something obvious?

DON'T TELL ME

I feel like this book is a lot more difficult to grasp than the other two, tbh, when it should be the opposite, because now I know things

it's the first time in which I know supposedly more than the protagonist, but it's the hardest one

it feels so much more complicated to me and makes me feel so stupid so often

in any case, nona falls asleep

none of this sounds like it's gonna be a great time for either of these two

and I don't think trusting someone who has a vendetta against your people is a good idea, nona

if push comes to shove, you're gonna go against each other, and what are we gonna do then???

JOHN 8:1

"but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives."

this is the part in which jesus does the famous "Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her"

alleged harrow says her body is a mystery to her and that she'd collapse and fall asleep where she fell and wake wherever dr reverend emperor john put her

alleged!harrow which could be ice cube barbie, for all I know

WAIT

should I put ice cube barbie as another potential occupant of harrow's body as nona?

was there a third option nobody thought of because nobody knew about ice cube barbie but harrow and gideon?

could nona be ice cube barbie without memory?

could they have switched when book 2 ended inside harrow in the vacant tomb?

dr reverend emperor john god-forbid is, like I said, taking his monologue on the road

last time we met up with the monologue, lyctor team had decided to stream the necromancy stuff to put it out in the open

like anyone who has ever depended on social media to do a job knows, when you're trying to make something take off, it doesn't happen

it doesn't matter how good the content is, the algorithm is awful everywhere

so they got like 5 viewers

until one of the people the invited live turned out to be a flat earther and THEN it picked up

after that, people came in for him to heal them and he says he enjoyed playing jesus

he said the government said "this is a cult"

WHICH, YOU KNOW

SOUNDS VERY CORRECT

he says M brought in a nun, gonna assume M is mercygirl and the nun might be anastasia?? anastasia sounds like she was a nun, I mean, look at the ninth

"You've got two scientists and an engineer and a nun and a lawyer and a banker and a cop and an artist. That's not a defence force, that's a cop and six different kinds of nerd."

new meme format just dropped

sorry but I need to try it out

(should I post that separately, I wonder)

it really is a great meme format, dr john, I'll give you that

thank you for your minuscule service

"A and M were making black jokes about taking volunteers from the crowd for the skeleton army. One day we ran out of time before those jokes could become suggestions."

not to bring in star trek again but

so, dr reverend emperor john kills every animal in a big ass radius to build a bone wall around them

he, of course, has a lot of excuses for it, as he usually does

I have another data meme for that, but I'll save it for another time

"They treated us like we'd done some kind of huge crime."

"I wanted to talk about you"

again here with the "you" which clearly cannot be harrow

at least not how we know her

alleged!harrow not!harrow says "I still love you" and he says "that's a good one" and cries

I don't feel bad about him crying one little bit

AND THAT'S ALL!!! sorry that this one is so long, I wanted to make up for lost time T_T

[transformers-spike]

Continuation of my previous ask...but like..

What if Soundwave's human eventually opens up enough that they're actually a bit of a chatterbox with the cons they're comfortable with, and Soundwave doesn't mind at all because it's a welcomed distraction from Starscream's nonsense. Hell even Megatron himself doesn't mind to much since they have had a positive impact on Soundwave's overall well-being

One day while Soundwave is working at his usual spot in the bridge, Megs and some other high ranking cons are plotting their next moves against the autobots and Soundwave's human is quietly chattering away to Soundwave perched on his shoulder, Megs doesn't mind since he knows Soundwave is ALWAYS paying attention to everything around him and is an excellent multitasker and the human isn't being loud anyway

Starscream on the other hand...just can't manage to wait another five minutes for the plotting to be done with, and does the whole "oh do you ever shut up with your incessant word vomit?!"

Cue dead silence. Cue the human going deep depressive mode. Cue everyone taking a step or three away from Starscream. Even Megs. Literally everyone clearing out the way between Soundwave and Starscream.

If everyone thought he was creepy and scary already...well now they're about to find out how he is when he's actually pissed off.

Ohohohohoho wowwww I assume the human is talking just low enough not to be particularly bothersome. Just chattering at him, being as happy as can be. They're really his emotional support animal whom he enjoys very much. It's still a messed up "ah yes this sentient creature is my pet" bond - but it's pretty cute if you look at it right if Starscream does this, he knowsss he fucked up. He was sick of the constant background noise and too tired to deal with it anymore, so he ordered the inferior flesh thing to shut up. And now it's finally hitting him that... maybe it wasn't the best idea Now, I don't believe Soundwave would mop the floor with Starscream just for fucking up the progress he made with his pet. But he'll definitely intimidate Starscream (he can probably do that by just standing there). He's more subtle in his torment, making Starscream's life in the Nemesis harder by reporting every little thing he does wrong to Megatron Soundwave plays the waiting game, and he always excels at it

[just-a-creep-babe]

What Makes You Tick - Chapter 6

(Ticci Toby x Reader)

Commissions are open!

Check out my ko-fi if you'd like to support me!

Masterlist: x

What Makes You Tick Masterlist

Taglist: @nyx-daughterofchaos98

Divider by @plum98

The way he has the audacity to sneer out the word Princess—as if you've been such a self-entitled to kidnap—despite them being the ones who abducted you, who took you against your will and forced you into this whole mess—it ignites something hot and simmering beneath your skin.

And it's like all the accumulated stress bursts out of you before you can even stop yourself.

"Well, at least I didn't make you wait around multiple fucking days in some shabby hotel with nothing but the McDonalds dollar meal menu as the closest thing to quality nutrition."

As soon as you seethe the words out, you snap your mouth shut. You realize, with daunting horror, that you've just challenged all three men by insulting them. One of which you know, for a fact, is a murderer, and the other two, of which, somehow scared you even more than said murderer.

The men, it seems, are just as surprised as you are.

But then the Hoodie guy snickers, like your retort amused him.

"I think I like her," he hums, and it's the first time he's openly spoken in front of you, but the low purr of his words is more than enough to confirm your previous theory; he's the one who was in your room last night. He's the one who touched you.

Masky clicks his tongue, and it thankfully distracts you from the memory. He nods in Toby's direction, who also seems to snap out of a train of thought. And at the white-masked man's wordless command, he riffles through a duffel bag you only now notice had been brought in with them.

When he pulls out cable ties and two familiar black strips of cloth, you back away.

"N-no, wait—"

There's a semblance of safety in the bathroom’s lockable doors. It's the only place you could feasibly escape to if things don't pan out in your favor. But it feels like how a child might hide under its blanket when scared; it's not a viable option—not really, anyway—because, sooner rather than later, you'd be forced to come out. But, at the moment, it's the only security you have. And you'll take what you can get.

The men seem to understand your intentions. And although they don't seem particularly worried, they also don't seem too keen on the idea of having to bash down the door to force you out, or to otherwise wait around for however long it'd take for you to leave.

"I'll come willingly," you promise. "As long as you don't tie me up and gag me."

Your gaze locks with Toby, whose reaction you can't gauge beneath his mask.

With the goggles and mouthguard firmly secured in place, any trace of his soft innocence from last night is gone. You don’t know if it’s because he’s standing among the other two imposing men, or if it’s just the lighting revealing the dried specs of blood still staining his clothes. Whatever it is, it’s suddenly hard to imagine he’s even the same person from last night.

If it weren’t for what he told you about the notebook, it’d be easy to dismiss what happened as a dream. And, even then, you’re not entirely certain you can trust your sleep-deprived, stress-fuelled memory.

But you cling to the idea that there’s still some good within him—because it’s the only hope you have, and you need something to hold onto for the sake of your own well-being.

And it’s like your hopes are confirmed when, even despite the other two waiting expectantly for him to cooperate, he seems to hesitate.

You find yourself thinking, again, about unlikely partnerships, and shaking hands with devils.

When Toby looks towards Masky, you flinch.

You shouldn’t have snapped at him.

Something twists at your insides, and the door behind you feels just as promising as ever.

You watch as Masky returns Toby’s look. And the two almost seem to have some kind of unspoken conversation. You eye them both warily, all while Hoodie’s stare never once breaks away from your expression. And the whole thing is suddenly uncomfortably familiar.

Masky eventually shifts his gaze from Toby to you, and it takes everything in your power to stop yourself from shrinking back.

Your hands curl into fists at your sides, nails biting into palms as he steps towards you.

And to find your courage, you recall Toby’s eyes beneath his goggles.

You try to imagine what this Masky guy might look like—if he might have some semblance of warmth, or kindness, or humanity left within him. And it’s meant to strip him from his power and authority, to bring him down to your level and humanize him, but you can’t get past the porcelain mask.

It’s like you can’t imagine anything but some faceless monster of a man.

A slick lurch of intimidation fills your system as he circles around you, predator sizing prey.

You’re torn between looking at the floor, or looking toward Toby for some kind of comfort or pity—anything that could help you stomach the panic seizing your muscles.

You don’t know what Masky’s intention is—if he’s just trying to scare you, successfully so, or if he’s trying to decide how much of a threat you’d be without the blindfold and bindings.

When he finally stops, he plants himself inches before you, and carefully scrutinizes your face. The seconds are painfully slow, painfully long as the black pits of his mask look right through you.

He reaches out, and you flinch again, your heart skipping a beat as his thick fingers dig into your cheeks. Something small and pathetic escapes your throat, and you swear the other two men lean in curiously at the sound, their interests piqued.

You want to run away.

You want to push him back and run away to the illusory safety of the bathroom. The adrenaline screams at you to do so.

But the whole thing feels like some kind of test. And something tells you that, if you do try to run away, they’ll never let you have another inch of freedom.

So you stay neatly paralyzed before him, and let him do whatever he pleases to prove that you won’t try anything stupid.

And finally, after what feels like way too long, Masky snorts.

"Blindfold her once we're out."

It's all he says before moving past you, like you suddenly aren’t worth his time, and walking through the door that connects your rooms together.

You’re left with Hoodie and Toby. And it, admittedly, takes you a second to recover from the fear-induced paralysis before you realize you’re meant to follow Masky.

You follow willingly.

Their room reeks of cigarettes and alcohol.

It's bigger than yours, with an extra bed and a whole couch, but it's otherwise just as plain and simple as your own room. You aren't surprised that none of them bothered to make their beds, but you are surprised that it isn’t as messy as you’d expected.

There aren't any clothes scattered about, nor are there empty bottles of booze or food wrappers all over the place. In fact, if it weren't for the unmade bed, it'd almost look like there was no trace of them at all.

Leaving no evidence behind.

You follow Masky out of their front door, and you’re immediately assaulted by the smell of sweat and humidity from the cramped corridor. It's disgusting.

Your room had a similar unpleasant scent to it, but it'd been faint enough to ignore. Out in this hallway, with the greyish beige carpet absorbing every vile odour, there’s absolutely no ignoring the stench.

You hide your disgust as Masky makes his way through the dingy corridor, and Hoodie and Toby trail closely behind you to keep an eye on your every movement.

One of the first things you notice about this hotel is that there aren’t many rooms. The hallway is thin and relatively short, and you spot a few fire exits and staircases, but no elevators. Which means you were likely right about this being some cheap, rarely-used hotel. And which, in turn, explains why none of your notes were ever found.

Your heart sinks in your chest when you finally reach the lobby, where the front desk isn’t even attended by a staff member. And it gives you this eerie feeling that there’s a chance this hotel might be abandoned.

Something about the thought makes you feel gross.

When you take your first step outside, it hits you harder than you would've thought it would. Fresh air. Even though it's not a particularly nice day out, with overcast clouds casting a dull grey light on everything, it feels the nicest day you’ve ever experienced.

You hadn't realized how badly you’d missed this. Getting locked up for a few days had started to feel like months. And you hadn’t realized, until this very moment, that part of you had been utterly terrified of never seeing the light of day outside again.

It almost has your eyes watering with a rush of unexpected emotions.

But then you're ushered into the car, and that feeling of dread replaces the bitter-sweet lure of fleeting freedom.

Masky sits in the driver's seat and Hoodie takes shotgun, leaving Toby in the back with you, just like last time.

It’s the last thing you’re allowed to see before the blindfold is secured around your eyes. And you’re about to complain, about to argue that they don’t need to do this, but your better judgement has you staying silent.

As long as they don’t tie your wrists together—you’ll take whatever meager ounce of kindness you can get.

You’re left, once more, with nothing but darkness and the thrum of the engine to keep your thoughts company. Your mind wanders, and next thing you know, you’re processing what you think about your kidnappers.

Masky, without a shred of doubt, seems like the cruelest of the three. The others always look to him for direction. They clearly respect his orders, and you dread thinking about what he might’ve done to get to that position. The image of him cracking Toby’s skull against the brick wall comes to mind, and you cringe.

If there’s one thing you know for certain, it’s that Masky definitely isn’t the one you want to go up against.

Then, there’s Hoodie. He's mostly quiet, but every time you look at him, you can still feel the warmth of his hand pressing through the sheets and stroking along your thigh. He gives you the creeps.

He seems like the type to always be watching—even when you might think you're alone. You’ll have to remember that.

And then finally, there’s Toby.

From the very beginning, Toby had been off-putting and unpredictable. You could never tell if he was on the verge of offering his help, or if he was seconds away from embedding one of his axes into you.

He killed your neighbour. He kidnapped you and forced you into this whole mess in the first place. And yet, he seems to be the only one who cares about your comfort. He seems to be the only one who wants to help you.

You don't know if it’s just some kind of ploy, some good-cop-bad-cop kind of bullshit. And maybe you’re making a mistake by flirting with the idea that he might not be as bad as he seems. Because, despite the innocence in his eyes, his clothes reek of blood the most out of the three.

And you just can’t figure him out.

Throughout the entire drive, you keep expecting to hear that liquid like last time, and to have that damp cloth pressed to your nose and mouth to knock you unconscious. But as the minutes trickle into hours, it never comes.

You keep getting tempted to pull the blindfold down—just for a slight peak at your surroundings—but you don’t dare. You stay nice and compliant because you don’t want to risk upsetting them, and you certainly don’t want to risk those fucking cable ties.

The only time you’re allowed to remove the blindfold is when they stop to refuel. You’re allowed to go for a bathroom break, and your immediate thought is that you’ll be able to signal for someone to help, but Hoodie sticks to you like a guard dog.

Even if he wasn’t closely following behind, the few truckers milling around barely even throw a cursory glance in your direction. They’d be no help to you regardless.

Hoodie stays posted at the door when you use the bathroom, and then you’re quickly ushered in and out of the stop. Hell, you barely even have time to try to decipher where you are.

You know there’s a possibility that they, once again, lied to you and aren’t bringing you back. But where else would they even bring you? You almost don’t know what to think, and at this point, your best option seems to be just going along with it.

Bide your time until the right moment.

You eat the stale sandwich they offer you from the gas station, and then you’re blindfolded once more, and then it’s back to enduring the long, endless drive.

The men, you notice, don’t seem to speak much to one another. You wonder if it’s because you’re around and they don’t want to reveal too much—about their plan and about themselves—or if they’re maybe always like this. If they maybe just don’t like one another. If they maybe don’t even trust themselves.

You wonder, most of all, why they’re doing this. What’s forcing them to this lifestyle—what they have to lose and what they have to gain. You wonder what gets beneath their skin. You wonder what kind of advantage you could ever pray to have over them.

When the car slows, you know you’re finally off the highway. You come to the occasional stop, and every time you do, you can’t help but wonder if it’s just a red light or if you’ve finally arrived at your destination.

Home.

You’re almost back home, you hope.

It has you getting antsy. You keep shifting in place, and the urge to pull your blindfold off gets stronger and stronger.

You try not to let your eagerness show through, but you don't think you're successful.

And then finally, finally, the car rolls to a stop and you hear Masky put the parking break on.

Home, you pray again, please let it be home.

You almost can’t sit in place. When your blindfold’s finally removed, you’re ushered out of the car, and there, right in front of you, you see it.

You’re back at your apartment.

[crivalsduo]

I heard androids and body modification against ones will 👀👀👀👀👀👀

whats the AU about?

okay, so you know how c!sam talks about having multiple bodies? and being able to switch to them?

the idea is that he knows how to take someone's consciousness and place it into a new body. and he makes a new body for c!dream and he puts dream's consciousness into this new body. it's his way of '''fixing''' dream. he can program him now! he makes slight changes to dream's body. overall, it's realistic. most people have no idea. they just think that sam has somehow reformed dream!

but dream knows something is wrong. he doesn't feel right. he just can't articulate it. he doesn't know why it feels wrong to always do what sam tells him to. sam is the warden and his protector and his friend. it makes sense, right? so why does it feel strange?

c!techno knows something is wrong. the first thing is that dream doesn't react to his teasing the way he normally does. the second thing is that he doesn't smell right. he smells wrong. techno actually mentions this to dream in a joking way to see how dream reacts but he really doesn't react at all. the next time he sees dream, he smells like a person. a little too much like sam but that weird redstone and metal scent isn't as strong anymore.

because sam monitors everything dream does and fixed the scent issue.

anyway. it definitely gets very messed up because dream has literally zero agency at first and the way people react to him is also deeply messed up. as always, it will have a happy ending because techno is not gonna let this stand.

[bivampires]

I'm way overdue for a haircut and I wish I could cut my hair myself but my mom would flip out again and I just do not trust myself to do a good job...sigh

[destinywillowleaf]

one of a kind living in a world gone plastic

baby you're so classic

@most-tragic-character-tournament

(all my thoughts in the tags)

[fisheito]

You know who you remind me of? Helga Pataki.

Please tell me you (or somebody else) gets the reference 😂

anon u turned my world to static with that namedrop

on the list of things i did NOT expect to happen ,because hUH??: someone dragging [hey arnold] into my tiny nuca inbox

[earl-grey-crow]

it’s me, hi, I’m the white witch, it’s me

[seaofreverie]

Yeah !

[jichanxo]

sunday six!

hello sunday six nation! o7 @four-white-trees @passthroughtime @overdevelopedglasses @skysquid22

tried writing an alternate kuwagami first meeting for funsies! not sure where i'm going with it, but it's been good fun! (ignores all my other wips)

Yagami looked at the drone photos Kaito sent through minutes ago. “He should be back soon. You can take a seat, I suppose.” 

The other man didn’t, approaching his desk, leaning against it and giving Yagami a look. “You here often?” 

Yagami didn’t glance away from his computer screen. “This is my office.” 

“Oh. You must be the all important Yagami that gets put on the sign outside and everything. Nice place.” He smiled, not seeming to look at the office at all. Yagami bit the inside of his cheek and tried not to give the man any attention. Couldn’t he see he was working, here? 

“You know, I’m something of a freelancer myself.” He continued, pulling a card from his jacket and placing it on the table. “Not from around here though. Visiting from Ijincho.” 

“Uh huh.” Yagami didn’t touch the card. “You know, Kaito-san might be off the clock soon, but I’m not. If you’re gonna wait here, I’d appreciate it if you just sat down.” And shut up. 

The man seemed to catch his meaning, silent for a moment. “Anyway, as I was getting to, the name's Kuwana. Nice to meet you.” 

“Great. Sit down, Kuwana-san.” 

[averlym]

(it hurts it hurts it hurts )

[sskk-manifesto]

Ep 5!!!

[britneyshakespeare]

i love bratz as dolls but i fuckin hate mga as a brand. fuckin idiots