#because without being told boys kissing etc this could definitely be read as platonic

[me-sploh-rada-imas]

i will never be the same after chapters three and four... the fact that they're the only ones together (so far but also don't think anyone else will be together) is so bonded pair don't separate energy

[being-demisexual]

Hiii

I hope this is okay to ask as it isn't really about demi but about romantic attraction, please feel free to not answer if you feel that this ask doesn't fit with this blog.

For about a year/ a couple months now I was slowly starting to overthing if I'm aro and it has been giving me so much stress it's honestly ridiculous.

Short story of important things in my life: I never really felt aromantic. Since a small child I liked the stereotypical films about princesses and princes and all that stuff. I had crushes on boys, at least I think so... For me it was being interested in the idea of dating them, to be specific.

Ages 13-16, so middle school here, I was getting aware that I was asexual- though I found this term only at the end of middle school as being a then christian in a largely christian country I honestly was largely unaware that lgbt was even a thing. I still liked the idea of getting a boyfriend, though I was getting aware it will be harder for me to find someone since the whole dont-want-sex thing. I was also largely imagining that if I find a person it will probably be someone I'm already friends with at least to some extent.

Well skip to me now, single for a few months now, after a 2-year relationship with my ex girlfriend and ex best friend... Somehow having a mild existential crisis if I might have not noticed that I'm aromantic, feeling like an impostor. The thing it, my ex changed their identity to demisexual, previously identifying as asexual during our relationship- which is totally fine and I had no issues with that, to be clear. Before she told me though, unconsciously I've been noticing we're a bit different in how we experience attraction and Istarted to fear if I should feel more, if romantic attraction should be a physical feeling and not just "I want to spend my life with them, I like being close and hugging, cuddling, kissing even if for the most part I don't feel anything physical from it." That maybe I don't know myself and I've been accidentally "faking". There was a period of maybe half a year when I did feel a bit more, but it could have been some leftover crazy hormones, I have no idea. I can also be rather reserved in public and so I preferred to save more intimate gestures than hand holding/a hug/ a fast kiss for a private place. Being questioned if I'm aro in the falling out part of the relationship really stung me and clearly didn't help with this issue, even though after some time she apologized, it's still eating away at the back of my brain.

So I'm writing all this to ask you, can you try to describe what romantic attraction is like to you? Do you literally feel something physically or is it more desires to be close to someone and thoughts?

Now that I'm single I'm scared of both never finding anyone again and of finding someone but making them feel unloved with how I express my feelings and messing it up again.

I dug at AVEN for answers too and found people describe romantic attraction both ways and I'm still not at peace with myself somehow, but maybe one more description will at least help with it a bit. I just want some internal peace :,(. I might be a bit desperate to find it.

Thank you for reading all this, and sorry for the long text, I felt like it's necessary to my situation

Hi there! I’ll give answering this my best shot, but probably not in the way you exactly want. I don’t really know what romantic attraction is, but it seems highly variable from person to person. Some people like a lot of PDA, some don’t. Some people find cuddling important, others want to celebrate a lot of little anniversaries (first date, first kiss, etc). I think it really does differ from person to person. I’ve never even been on a single date, let alone developed a romantic attraction to a person. 

That being said, I feel like I have the answer for you. Have you, in all your digging on AVEN, heard of the term QPR? It stands for queer platonic relationship. A lot of exclusionists like to paint this as just being friends, but its deeper than that. 

See, a lot of aro people desire companionship and commitment but without the dating part. A lot of aro people want someone to give them hugs, hold their hands, or maybe even kiss, but without the expectation of romantic feelings or actions, like going on dates and such. This is where a QPR comes in, which is basically a very committed, platonic partnership. I love my best friend, but I wouldn’t move in with her, adopt a per with her, or put her on my life insurance plan as a beneficiary. Those are all things you do with a spouse or romantic partner, or a QPR. You wouldn’t need to counsel your best friend before taking a new job to see if it’s financially responsible to do so, you wouldn’t need to discuss moving across the country for different opportunities with them, you wouldn’t put them on your health insurance plan. You would with a QPR. 

Most human living is designed to be done, at minimum, with two people. Most human living is better done in communities, but I digress. Almost everyone wants companionship and life partners, but they don’t have to be romantic or sexual in nature. It is probably worth seriously considering if a QPR style “relationship” is something you might want. If you don’t care about having sex and don’t have romantic feelings towards anyone, then you might be aromantic asexual - aroace. That absolutely DOES NOT mean that you are doomed to spend the rest of your life alone.

Also, if you don’t think a QPR sounds right for you, or you try it and it doesn’t work out, then you can go through life having friends and connecting with family and being a member of your community without having relationships necessarily. I don’t have any romantic interests right now, and I really don’t need them since I am getting plenty of human connection with friends (both IRL and online) and through family. 

To sum up, I don’t know if there really is any consistent definition for how romantic attraction is expressed. Maybe it is physical, to some people it certainly is. Maybe you are aromantic and a QPR is what you need. Maybe you aren’t aro and are just a pretty reserved person who prefers to express romantic feelings outside of physical gestures - like making sure the house is always clean because that’s what your partner likes, and picking up the type of coffee they prefer when you know you’re out. Little things, that might not seem romantic but do convey a lot of love and appreciation and attention to your partner when they all stack up. I’m not sure, and it sounds like you aren’t totally sure either. But that isn’t an inherently bad thing. You can take the time to list out what you think romantic attraction is to you and how you express it. I did that with sexual attraction when I was exploring being demisexual. You don’t have to rush, and you certainly don’t have to panic. There is always time to figure it out, and there is not bad outcome here - just you, being more confident and settled in your identity.

Feel free to reach out (through a dm, if you want) if you want to talk more. I hope this helped!

[wormholxtremearchived]

Every HC for Jay & Kay. Have fun 👌

Ship Meme | Accepting (Except for Raylee apparently 😂😂😂)

@letsbreakhearts feel free to comment any addendums XD

where they first met and how

Given that their parents are best friends (Pepper and Tony), Ray and Kay have known each other pretty much their entire lives. I say pretty much because Kaylee is about a year younger than Ray.

There is a specific moment in their young lives that stands out however. Ray was always a colicky baby, no surprises given his empathy ability and one day when Pepper came over unable to console him and Kaylee was playing with her blocks. Even though they were very young, toddlers, with no real understanding of the world, Kaylee gifted the young boy with her favorite block to make him feel better.  

how long their ‘flirting’ phase was before feelings got involved

Very verse dependent, but the “main verse” of their encounter was more of a use/lose situation. Not even friends with benefits as they had grown out of touch with each other over the years. Their physical relationship was born out of a mutual need for human contact with someone they each held a bit of trust (no matter how shaky that foundation may be). So, there wasn’t much flirting going on as there was carnal desire. It didn’t take Ray nearly as long as Kaylee to get those butterfly feelings back but given Kaylee’s denial at the time it took a few months before she was able to come to grip with the fact she loved him.

who fell for who first ( if applicable )

Jason Ryan Beck’s bitch ass been in love with Kaylee since puberty, since he understood what the concept of love was, since childhood. That dude been all heart eyes over the sunshine child from the get-go that loser XD

where their first date was and what it was like

Main verse: Their first real date was a quiet night in. Ray cooked a simple pasta meal and they sat out on the balcony, a little bit nervous but over all solidifying the idea that they are a real couple.

who asks who out and how ( with a sign? spelled out on a cake? just a simple ‘will you go out with me’? )

Main verse: They ran into each other at their lowest points in life. Kay was reeling with the fallout from Zeke’s betrayal, and Ray was mostly crawled into the bottom of a bottle. There wasn’t much in the ways of asking out. They just kind of fell into each other, needy and hopeless. But it was with Ray that Kaylee felt peace. It was in his arms that she could finally sleep and rest and heal. And it wasn’t just a one-way street. Ray had his own fears and his own doubts, specifically about his powers, and about the way he could accidentally make people fall in love with him. He worried the same was happening to Kaylee, that any feeling of butterflies, any feeling of love was manufactured by him and projected onto her. He wasn’t exactly gentle in the conversation when it came up but Kaylee asked him for three days. Three days away, where she could sort through her emotions without any fear of his influence. It was during this time, she realized that she loved him. When those three days were up, she went to him, and confessed her feelings. She told him that she loved him and that she was certain his powers didn’t cause it, because even if he was projecting the feeling, he couldn’t fabricate the reasons she loved him.

So there wasn’t a moment where either one official asked the other out, but there is this moment that solidified their standing with one another.

who proposes first

Most verses Ray does. I will go into detail about my favorite proposal though in a later question.

if they keep / kept their relationship secret or let everyone know right away

They definitely kept their relationship on the downlow at first. Again, Kaylee was dealing with a lot. Her family in shambles as Tony was still in a coma, the fact she was heartbroken and shattered from Zeke, the pressure she was under to help those who were hurt by Zeke’s attack. Making their relationship public felt callous, even after they admitted their feelings for one another.

where the proposal happens and how ( kiss cam at a baseball game? on a hillside surrounded by ducks? at a disney park? )

My favorite proposal they had dressed up to go to a gala and Kaylee wanted to stop by the orphanage. They end up completely missing the gala because they get too involved with the kids, reading bedtime stories and the like. And kids being unfiltered little honest machines bombarded them with questions until this exchange. Kid:  Mr. Jason, are you gonna marry Ms. Kaylee Ray: If she ever says yes, I totally would marry her. Kay: If he ever asked I'd totally marry him. Ray: But I don’t have a ring Kid: -gives him a ring pop- Now you do! Kay: You know I could ask him Ray: Oh would you now? Kay: Had to make sure you’d say yes first

And then Kay got on one knee to hug the kid and thank them for the ring pop before turning around. Kay: -holding up the ring- Jason Ryan Beck, I never knew I could love anyone as much as I love you. I never thought anyone could make me feel like I'm flying and falling all at once. You've been my best friend, my greatest love, and if you'd let me, I'd like to spend the rest of my life making you feel the same way. Will you marry me?

And that’s how their proposal went. They spent the rest of the night, in full tux and gown walking around the park with ring pops on their fingers. And they both kept the ring portion which is in a shadow box on the wall in their living room.

if they adopt any pets together

Most of the time they don’t have animals unless kids are involved but every now and then they do end up adopting at least one dog because who doesn’t love dogs???

who’s more dominant

XD this question is great. So both Ray and Kay are switches and pretty vanilla. They don’t particularly get into power plays. But Kaylee is a much more assertive and confident person than Ray and naturally she comes out more dominant. She is the hero, the protector, the extrovert, the sun. Ray is more reserved, more domestic, introverted, the moon. However, when Ray does get more comfortable and confident he will occasionally drop that dom bomb and oooooh boi does Kaylee absolutely love it. Yes, sexually, but more than that. Ray will also be more forceful when he cares and when he needs to get protective. Because Kaylee is so use to being in that role, when he does get those moments it’s usually when Kaylee is at her extreme and barely holding on so she appreciates the fact he doesn’t let her get away with it. It’s a good healthy balance built on mutual trust and adoration.

where their first kiss was and what it was like

Main verse: Desperate is probably the best word to describe it. Ray, the little boy Kaylee use to gift her blocks to. The sweet, shy guy that she considered a close friend. Her best friend’s brother no less. He was familiar and safe. Despite the condition he was in, there was an undeniable pull when they met up after so long and Kaylee needed the distraction. It was desperate and carnal. It was heated and harsh.

if they have any matching couples stuff ( mugs? sweaters? pillowcases? )

Not particularly. They will coordinate their outfits, especially at galas. And they always have matching Halloween costumes. But so far they have not really done the full matching couples thing.

how into pda they are

Ray will get embarrassed and pretty easily. Kaylee on the other hand is naturally affectionate in any setting and always coaxes more PDA out of him. He just can’t resist it when she smiles at him and wraps an arm around his waist, putting her hand in the back pocket of his jeans. She is all in to PDA and all levels of it, but Ray keeps it from going too far.

who holds the umbrella when it rains

Whomever has the umbrella first holds the umbrella.

where their usual ‘date spot’ is ( if applicable )

At the lake. Their private little lake where they can set up a picnic, be under the stars, go for a dip. A place where their two sacred places (the sky and water) meet.

who’s more protective

Kaylee. She is extremely protective. It’s her job. It’s been who she is since she was 4 years old and protecting her infant brother. That being said, when push comes to shove, Ray can be extremely protective, surprisingly ruthless. But that is only in extreme cases.

how long it is before they sleep together ( can be as in ‘had sex’ or as in ‘shared a bed’ )

Main verse: Well they were well into their 30s the first time they had sex. But given Kaylee was often over at the Becks for sleep overs and such when they were little, platonic sharing of a bed was pretty normal for them until Ray started getting those spontaneous heart boners XD

if they argue about anything

The biggest arguments they have are usually in regard to Kaylee’s attempts at controlling her emotions, holding responsibility when she shouldn’t, and over all taking the brunt of things. She puts her life, her limbs, and her own emotional health on the line to protect others. And she is good at hiding it. She’s extremely good at forgiving when she shouldn’t and convincing herself that things are okay when they aren’t. Ray’s powers see through this veil of hers so easily that often she crumbles in his arms when she otherwise wouldn’t. However, times when she’s not ready to face that, he will call her out on it. He is often afraid of losing her and that fear can spur into an argument.

who leaves more marks ( lipstick, hickeys, scratchmarks etc. )

Kaylee leaves marks on Ray. Ray cannot leave marks on Kaylee even if he wanted to. However, Kaylee is extremely careful and often worries about hurting him so scratchmarks are only during times when she’s using an inhibitor. Lipstick, hickeys, well XD as long as he’ll let her she’ll do it.

who steals whose clothes and how often

Kaylee will on occasion, wear his shirts in the morning/on lazy days, and probably has a sweatshirt but for the most part they don’t steal each other’s clothes.

how they cuddle ( spooning? facing each other? )

ALL THE CUDDLES. THEY ARE CUDDLING FREAKS!! SCREW SEX KINKS THESE BITCHES LOVE TO CUDDLE. And they will cuddle in every way. Sometimes facing each other, sometimes spooning, and they take turns on who is the big spoon and who is the little spoon. Sometimes side by side, her nuzzled into his chest and him nuzzling into her hair with legs and arms wrapped around each other. They are cuddling little monsters and will cuddle everywhere and in every position. >.> just sometimes it becomes less cuddling because of Kaylee’s knack for kissing all hot and heavy even if she isn’t expecting or wanting sex in that moment.

what their favourite nonsexual activity is

I think I went on about cuddling in the last question XD but they also enjoy watching romcoms and swimming together.

how long they stay mad at each other

Typically not very long. Unfortunately Ray is often afraid that any kind of negative emotion is going to lead into them breaking up and often tries very hard not to get into arguments. When they do however, Kaylee often needs a few moments to process, and will leave but when she comes back she is always there to make sure he knows that she loves him even if she’s mad.

what their usual coffee / tea orders are

They both have pretty simple orders. Black with maybe some cream and sugar depending on how they are feeling that day. Ray use to put a little Bailey’s in his but we don’t talk about that

if they ever have any children together

YES! In most verses they end up with kids. Usually a boy first and then a girl. They also very often will open their home to foster kids, usually taking in mutant kids who have physical phenotypes of their X-gene.

if they have any special pet names for each other

Ray: Tease Kay: Spoil sport

if they ever split up and / or get back together

In most verses the do not usually break up, there is a moment where in main verse where they take a break from the use/lose before Kaylee really knows that she loves him and before they are officially dating where she gets hurt fighting Nitro and almost dies. After her confession of love however, breaking up is not an option.

what their shared living space is like ( messy? clean? what kind of decor? )

They are both pretty tidy people and at the end of the day Kaylee does employ cleaning service. Though Ray is often domestic enough where the service is not needed. When they do move in together, Kaylee designs them a house that has all of Ray’s preferences and needs. She ultimately is very relaxed and doesn’t need much except for large windows and balconies to be happy. Ray likes things a little more rustic, so they end up having a nice marriage between rustic and modern leaning more toward the rustic aesthetic.

what their first christmas / hanukkah / etc as a couple was like

It is a Danvers-Stark tradition to go to the shelters (usually the woman’s shelter Tony built but various shelters) and donate gifts and trees and menorahs and the like. So their first Christmas was spent down at the shelter giving out presents and just overall trying to bring joy and goodness to the world in some way.

what their names are in each other’s phones

XD honestly I don’t believe we’ve discussed this one. Kaylee probably just has him as “Ray” in her phone with some hearts next to it or something.

if they have any ‘couple traditions’ ( buying a new mug for their collection every year? baking every friday evening? )

Considering they both have crazy schedules they have a routine more than traditions. But they definitely have ring pops on their anniversary.

who falls asleep first and who wakes up first

Kaylee is often the last one asleep and the first one awake. Given her powers she often does not need sleep as much as a squishy human. Ray however as a squishy human who often over extends himself falls asleep when he gets a moment to rest and as long as he is sleeping curled up next to Kaylee sleeps soundly.

who’s the big spoon / little spoon

These two are true switch bitches. They have no big spoon/little spoon titles. They merely cuddle and whom ever is wants/needs to be the little spoon at a given time gets to be the little spoon.

who hogs the bathroom

Why hog the bathroom when you can watch your extremely attractive significant other go about their daily morning routine, basking in the glow of the sunrise, with the shower steam rolling off their flushed bodies, glistening as water beads along their skin?

And given they most definitely have his and hers sinks there’s no overlap because when Kaylee designs a house she designs it good.

who kills the spiders / takes them outside

They both take them outside. No killing in this house. They are soft and sweet beings.

[otomates-a]

🌹/🌺 with Selphy? if we wanna indulge the game or maybe with Sofia if we wanna do the crossover times 👀

LET ME KNOW YOUR SHIP IDEAS, I’LL RAMBLE ABOUT THEM.

↪ accepting / @rcguna.

🌺 — platonic ship &  🌹 — romantic ship inputs !

ah rune factory my one tru love & bias… if anything strikes ur fancy feel free to let me know… time to rant for 983475983475 years ok,

SELPHY & RAGUNA

RAGUNA’S RELATIONSHIP AND INTERACTIONS WITH SELPHY ARE SO PURE AND GOOD. selphy has really low self esteem and sort of (unintentionally) has a super low opinion of herself in general bc she knows she’s really ditzy and spacey… raguna really helps lift her up because he’s such a good person. i can imagine if she’s ever putting herself down too much, he’d be the type of person to either gently call her out on it and remind her she has a lot of good character traits or jokingly meet her in the middle and be like “well ur spacey sure but have u seen how ____ i am.” raguna softly helping her raise her confidence… bless

raguna would probably get stood up a lot by her… i’m sobbing… not in the “she intentionally did not meet me when we planned to meet way” but rather in the “oh my god selphy hasn’t eaten or slept in 3 days and she’s literally passed out in the middle of a forest under a tree again time to go scour the area and make sure she’s okay” way KJNHKJHNM i can imagine she’d actually spook him a lot because she takes such … bad care of herself … can’t even take her on adventures because halfway through the cave she’ll keel over and it’s like “SELPHY WTF” “i’m sorry raguna i just realized i have not had a sip of water in 2 days haha it be like that”

honestly tfw the local librarian’s life is in more danger from herself than urs is from monsters, i can see her probably pushing raguna to the point of having to be quite stern sometimes over her putting reading before taking care of herself

selphy thinks about other people more than herself tho so she’d absolutely be a worry-wart over raguna even from the moment they’ve just newly become friends. catch her occasionally sending him care kits full of herbs or materials he needs, medicine, etc, so he can take care of himself if he gets hurt.

she’d also try to give him a good luck protection charm at some point and it’d probably be handmade and also the ugliest thing he’s ever seen in his life but raguna is a good boy so u know he’d take it anyways jknmKJNM

despite everything selphy is extremely intelligent because of all her reading, though. there are times she reads very serious books & gathers info from them, so any time he needs ??? help ??? learning something new about the area or monsters or whatever he doesn’t even need to ask he can just barge into the library like “HEY,,”

selphy being a runaway princess tho i’m sobbing …. she wouldn’t really… ever bring that up until the two of them are extremely close, about how her country is in an uproar because she YEETED out of there and how she doesn’t trust knights or people who “treat her like a princess” …. and that’s why she likes raguna bc… he always just treated her like a person

selphy is??? super extra??? and loves communicating serious things via very fancy handwritten letters? any time she has something of major importance to tell raguna she’d totally send him a letter… and want him to respond back via letter… her literally just stopping anette each morning like “haha take this to raguna thanks!” game mechanics aside on an expressly #romantic note if feelings were ever confessed, it would mean more to her written on paper and u could bet the moment one of them sent that letter the other would probably come running and bust down their door to then Verbally Discuss It KJHNMKHJNM

she’s tol at 5′9″ she can look u directly in the eyes raguna … if she wears heels that day she’ll end up slightly taller than him so u better be ready to stand on some stairs buddy

the real danger to their relationship would be her passing out while reading in the bath and drowning. inb4 raguna begs melody to keep an eye on her any time she’s at the bathhouse 😂

bonus romance exclusive concept : selphy kissing raguna’s palm and saying it’s a spell to keep him safe during his daily adventures. she knows, she’s an expert.

SOFIA & RAGUNA

OH GOD FIRST IMPRESSIONS WITH SOFIA ARE ALWAYS…. they’re special. i feel like raguna would probably catch on a lot quicker than most, though. he seems like one of the few people who wouldn’t need it explained to him, he’d just pick up on it early on?? bc sofia’s expressions and actions never match how cruel her words are and raguna generally sees the best in people, so he’d likely be perceptive enough to notice that and be like “????????? are you speaking in opposites wtf weird but okay!”

that being said WOW SOFIA WOULD NOT KNOW HOW TO REACT TO RAGUNA AT FIRST because people “getting her” and being kind towards her (or, at least, accepting her as she is without making it weird, rather) is something she’s never really experienced. she would think he’s super weird and just messing with her… which would foster the doubt in the back of her mind that he actually hates her and is just being nice bc he’s nice to everyone, which is something he’d have to convince her she’s wrong about

after she adjusts to him though she’d love tagging along with him on adventures and would always be up for helping him out any time he leaves town, whether it be to just gather materials or battle monsters.

sofia doesn’t have many friends in the sense that she feels she annoys most people, so raguna being as sweet & outgoing as he is would catch her off guard most times … even small gestures of friendship fluster her because she doesn’t know what to make of it. hanging out with her would definitely feel special even if they’re doing something stupid, because just seeing him ??? would brighten her day ??? like she can’t believe someone as great as him would want to spend time with a liar like her

she will gift him garbage. it will be the worst gifts he ever gets, but she will hope he likes it… if he actually keeps any of it and she visits his house or anything and sees it, she will absolutely get teary eyed.

she will also absolutely keep anything he gifts her and display it in her room bc “raguna is (not special at all) and she (will always immediately throw away any useless give he gives her)”

she would have some insecurities ofc… she already thinks that the way she speaks causes people to dislike her, so even after convincing her that he doesn’t hate her, whether it be a strong friendship or romance that blossomed between them, he’d have to let her know that he’s okay with who she is. she’d undoubtedly go through a period of time where she tries to change herself to speak normally, then psyche herself out doing it. that scene where she says “i love you!” normally and the protag thinks she’s saying she hates him is canon no matter the relationship, #growingpains KJNHMKHJNM

but also eventually if raguna ever told her he loves her (either platonically or romantically, she’s struck through the kokoro by both) she’ll cry. a lot. but like happy cry. bonus points she’d cling to him if he threw in a point that he likes her BECAUSE of who she is

she’s literally never even held a hand before tbh so if their hands even accidentally brushed against each other she’d get so flustered raguna might have to worry she’s going to die

she’s only 5′0″, if raguna wants to kiss or hug or whatever, he’s either got to lean all the way hecking down or lift her up and that’s aesthetic

bonus romance exclusive concept : raguna having to slowly work his way up to showing his affection bc she’s so shy. first he has to just link pinkies with her. then eventually he can hold her hand. then lace their fingers. then link their arms. then he can kiss her knuckles. then her hand, then her cheek, etc, etc… he has to take Smol Steps and it’s cute.

WILL SMITH POSES. THERE U GO I #TRIEDMYBEST.

[foxyatlas]

Thanks to @trashofdoom for tagging me :P

1. Are you more feminine or masculine? More feminine 2. Are you tall or short? Tall (a little under 5'10") 3. What’s your favorite color? I’m impartial to light pinks and turquoise blues 4. What do you love about yourself? My creativity, the way my brain works, and my work ethic 5. What’s your greatest flaw? It takes me a while to get comfortable with a group of ppl 6. Do you see yourself differently than other people describe you? Depends on the person. I’m definitely different from how casual peers or family would describe me, but i feel that my friends see me pretty closely to how I actually am. 7. What are you really, really good at? Creative shit. I don’t like recreating something that’s been done a million times before, and I don’t like making things (art, writing, skits, etc) that I wouldn’t want to watch/read myself. 8. What’s something you’re bad at, but love? Making people’s days 9. What’s something people have tried to force you to do? Shut up. It hasn’t worked yet. 10. How do you spend your free time? Writing (so fucking much, I publish minimum of 15k words a month @Dansphlevels waddup spon, and last month I published closer to 50k words). I also do art, watch Fraiser and Shameless, and keep up to date with dapper and papper. 11. Describe the way you dress in one sentence. I dress in a way that I’m able to look good, but if necessary I could get in a fight or run from the cops without my clothes hindering me. 12. Have you ever gotten your nails professionally painted? Yes, I’m a certified girl now. 13. What is the most insulting thing anyone has said to you? I’m sure a few people have told me I’m stupid before. So much of my identity has always been in the fact that I’m Smart(TM) (I’m GT in reading, math, and visual arts, kinda really wanna retake the test for writing since I’ve written so much the past few years), that being called dumb is a genuine blow. 14. Favorite game? Sometimes truth or dare, when it’s actually good Questions. Other times, cards against humanity or Parcheesi (it’s like Sorry but better). 15. What color is your hair? Dark blonde.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ～『✧~*PHILOSOPHY*~✧』 16. Do you believe in god? Yes 17. Is men’s rights a thing? Look around, how many people do you think are systematically oppressed because they’re men? 18. Does love really exist? Yes 19. Can science explain everything, eventually? In theory. But there’s also things that we literally can’t comprehend, so maybe not. 20. Are we raised into what we love, or do we come to love it based on how we were raised? We decide what we love based on how it’s made us feel in the past and how it makes us feel in the present. 21. How do you feel about the school system? It can always be improved. 22. Do you believe in fate/destiny? I believe that there is a perfect plan so we shouldn’t worry too much bc no matter what we do, we make the choice that will put us on the path we need to take. 23. What is art? Riddle me this: what isn’t art? 24. Do we define ourselves, or does our past? We aren’t defined. We are just blobs with no black edges that can define ourselves as much as we want, but that doesn’t change what we actually are. 25. What happens after we die? I believe in the heaven/hell shenanigans. 26. Do humans matter? Yes. Do humans matter more than other creatures? Debatable. 28. Is there good in everyone? yes. 29. Does apathy really exist? Yes. 29. Is human life only valuable because our society makes it? Nah, human life has intrinsic value, not just instrumental. 30. How do you feel about society, the vague “they” blamed for everything? Im too tired for this.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ～『✧~*LOVEY-DOVEY PREFERENCE STUFF*~✧』 
31. What gender do you prefer? Dudes, but I’m not picky. 32. What’s the first thing you notice about someone? Confidence 33. Could you love someone you found ugly? I think that I can’t find someone ugly whom I love because beauty’s in the eye of the beholder, and I don’t think I could care so deeply for someone and dislike their outer appearance at the same time. 34. Favorite hair color? Depends on the person. 35. Favorite eye color? Depends on the person. 36. Ideal height? For a dude that’s a potential mate, taller than 5'10" is ideal. But height doesn’t matter than much. 37. Describe, personality-wise, what your ideal boy/girlfriend would be like? Someone who I genuinely want to talk to and be around and who feels the same way towards me. 38. Describe, appearance-wise, what your ideal boy/girlfriend would be like? In general I’m more attracted to people who are leaner, but I’d prefer good conversation over looks. 39. What do you look for–brains or looks? Brains, more emotional intelligence than book smarts, but I love being around smart ppl. They make you really think. 40. Could you fall in love online? Platonically, but I’m not interested in an online romantic relationship. Physical affection is important to me if I’m dating someone.   41. How much of an age cap can you handle? In my life, I’d say up to 5 years older or 1 year younger. I usually go for older guys, I relate to them better. But that’ll change as I grow older, because after people hit a certain age most people are at about the same maturity level. 42. How would you introduce yourself on a blind date? Depends on the person. But in general, I love to write, I prefer people are completely upfront with me instead of skirting around my feelings or lying, and I think the most important thing when it comes to dating someone is that you want to be around them. 43. Could you forgive a cheater? Could I? Yes. Would I? Meh. 44. Is lying about something serious as bad as cheating? Both are emotional abuse. 45. Right now, you could call the person you like/love (if you aren’t dating/engaged/married already), or show up at their front door, and just confess or kiss them or whatever. What’s stopping you? He's probably in a relationship with Phil Lester.

Sorry for the cringe.

But generally there’s no one in my life that I want to date right now, but people like Dan remind me that there are people like that out there. I admire him and have a similar sense of humor, and think that in a different life, we could genuinely be friends.

If you want to do this, then do it! I officially tag you. Go out and make the world a more informed place of your particular breed of weird. 

[lesetoilesfous]

14, 19 & 28!

Hey you! Thank you which you can find here!

So!!!

14. What advice do you have for people struggling with their identity?

19. What helped you through coming out/realising your identity?

28. If you’re polyamorous, how do you go about that?

14. What advice do you have for people struggling with their identity?

Oh boy ok. Right. 

1. Find someone to talk to. It’s ok (I mean, it sucks, but you’ll be ok, I believe in you) if you can’t talk to family. Talk to a friend. Talk to a teacher. If you don’t feel comfortable with that, there are anonymous phone numbers in the UK (like Childline or the Samaritans if you’re over 18) who you can call and talk to, no strings attached. There are LGBT+ support groups for a range of ages everywhere. I went to one when I was figuring myself out, and it really helped. Talking helps. Sometimes, you need to step outside of your head. It can be scary, but it’s worth it. You can do it. 

2. Use fiction!! If you’re anything like me (which hey, you might be), I find using fiction to explore my identity super helpful. Are you a wlw who’s scared of that? Try writing a story from a guy’s point of view about a girl you’ve got strange feelings about. Read stories about ladies loving ladies and non-binary people and maybe no one at all and that’s ok too. Webcomics and youtube series and podcasts are especially great for finding representation, but if you’re not comfortable with that yet, it’s ok to subvert hetero narratives as like, a less scary place to explore your identity. I wrote like 60 chapters of doctor who fanfic before I realised how in love I was with Amy Pond/Karen Gillan. You’re allowed.

3. Try ‘What If’. Again, if you’re anything like me, for a long time you might try to control thoughts you think might be Not Ok, that might make you ‘weird’ or make your life more difficult. You might be doing the mental equivalent of putting your hands over your ears and singing real loud. If you’re doing that, I’m going to ask you to do one thing. Try what if. Just, let yourself think those things. See what happens. You don’t have to tell anyone. It doesn’t have to go anywhere if you don’t want it to, it doesn’t even have to go outside your brain. Just let yourself think those things, and kind of see what happens. It could help.

19. What helped you through coming out/realising your identity?

Kinda covered this above but basically My Queer Story ™ went something like this. When I was 8 years old I knew I liked girls and boys and didn’t know being gay was a Thing until one of my ‘best friends’ said I was acting a bit gay. I immediately stopped and didn’t know why. Then I went to Catholic school and thus entered what I’m affectionately calling The Denial Era. I had an entire noticeboard of pictures of girls (and one or two guys) taken from magazines and didn’t realise that this was suspicious material. I got bullied for allegedly being a lesbian - I didn’t know what a lesbian was - because I was shy of being undressed in front of the other girls.

Then I started writing fanfic. I still didn’t know what Gay was, but I had now heard of Yaoi. (Yep, one of those kids, not proud of it.) This led to me forming an idea of what liking girls might look like. Captain Jack on Doctor Who sort of helped. I still didn’t really know by the time I was 16 - Catholic school was on lockdown on any mentions of this stuff so my knowledge was patchy. But I realised that I definitely liked boys, and didn’t know if I liked girls. I had Not Platonic thoughts about girls, but I thought that was me being attention seeking. (In my own brain, don’t go there.) And then one day when I was 16 I was like damn, it’s not attention seeking if it’s just in my brain. So I tried it out, I tried let myself think the things I’d been stopping myself thinking. And oh boy, was I gay.

In a proper answer to the question then, finally: I went to an LGBT+ youth group when I was 17. I told my (new) boarding school it was a mental health support group, and the organisers (accustomed to homophobia and its risks) went along with it. I met a whole group of people my age who thought they might be queer. I learned what bisexuality was. Some time later, I learned what pansexuality was. I went on my first date with a girl, and kissed her, and I knew who I was. I knew because I got as giddy if not more about her as I had with any guy. I went to university, and I kept writing and reading fanfiction - and I found fic and webseries (shoutout to Carmilla) and comics (DC Bombshells) and podcasts (all) that represented people like me. I read a bit of queer theory, and poetry, and books by queer people. I learned about queer history, and developed a more and more sure understanding of who I was. For the past six months, I’ve been volunteering with an LGBT+ news and current affairs podcast called ShoutOut. I continue to explore my identity, but I’m a lot more confident now.

28. If you’re polyamorous, how do you go about that?

I feel like Schrodinger’s Poly. I’ve been in a poly relationship with 2 other girls, and I’ve had lots of casual sexual relationships with multiple partners. Sometimes I’ll meet someone and very much want to be in a polysexual relationship with them, or a polyromantic relationship with them, or neither! For me it really depends on the individual and the chemistry we have.

I will say, the part of me that thinks I might be poly in the end desperately wants to be in a trio or a quadruple with some people, and when I see those relationships in media I want to cry and I also just want. But who knows.

As to the mechanics, I think every poly person will say: communication, communication, communication!!! Be very clear about what you want and what you’re expecting from your partners. Pet names? Cuddles? Kisses? Kisses but not sexy time? Sexy time but not kisses? Dates? Not dates? I think stuff can go wrong when these things aren’t clear. Please do not be that asshole who grabs a person at a party and throws them into a threesome without talking to them first and telling them what’s going on and letting them make an informed decision.

I will also say: emotions happen. If human beings were able to flip a switch and control our emotions, wars wouldn’t happen. Gay rights wouldn’t be an issue. Crimes of passion wouldn’t happen. Etc. And everyone needs to feel all their emotions - that includes anger, and jealousy, and insecurity, doubts and fear and sadness. People need to feel those things, always. I think a minefield that people often hit in poly stuff is that they imagine it’s always going to be happy and loving and no problems. And it’s often really great!!!! But it’s also super important to be able to say, ok, I understand this is unreasonable but I’m mad/insecure/sad about that. Communication is crucial to consent, in every respect.

If you feel like you can’t provide that emotional support to someone you’re involved with, tell them. They will find a friend or someone else to give that to them. But you have to tell them. Otherwise they’ll expect something that you can’t give them, and things will get sour.

In the end, almost nothing is so ugly that you can’t just say it and move on. In silence lie the monsters - don’t let them live there. Turn on the lights.

(In true poly pansexual fashion, she mixes all the metaphors)

Thank you!!

[skam-season4]

SKAM Theories, Speculation, and Analysis of what we know so far - Season 4 Hiatus

Hi all, It’s Holly, your least favorite SKAM blog again. I am putting together a master post of speculation, theories, and other stuff because this hiatus is killing me. You’d think after 112 days of absolutely zero content would prepare me for ten days, but here I am. So, this will kind of be chronological, and kind of in order of small details to big picture stuff. Because It’s semi - chronological, most of the beginning sections will be Even and Balloon Squad stuff, and  Feel free to message me on your thoughts, I encourage you all to disagree, have your own opinions, but just do it respectfully.

This should be pretty obvious, but if you aren’t caught up with S4E5 yet, this will be spoilers galore.

Bolded things are summaries of a topic, or main / important ideas of a topic

Disclaimer: I am not an expert on anything bipolar / mental illness related, or anything related to Islam. I’ve pulled an Isak and googled different types of bipolar, I know a few people who are mentally ill, but its different for everyone. I’ve read a little bit of the Qur’an, and I’ve tried to educate myself of some Islamic traditions and rituals, but I definitely do not know everything. If I say something wrong or ignorant, PLEASE CORRECT ME, but do it respectfully and I will gladly change it.

Here is the list of topics in order that will be covered:

Sana being ignored - a look through the ages

Even’s timeline

Even’s relationship with each member of the Balloon Squad

Hvem er Mikael?

The Even x Mikael x Yousef situation

Sonja’s Role

Even’s Christmas Text

Season 4 Trailer analysis

Sana’s feelings towards Vilde in S4

Was Yousef going to kiss Sana at the end of “The Best of Islam”?

Sana + Noorhelm drama

Yousef + not Fighting

What was the fight about?

Girls in the bathroom

Noora’s motivation to kiss Yousef

Yousef’s Motivation to kiss Noora

Season 4 Hiatus Trailer Analysis

BIGGER IDEAS

Why the Russ bus is Important

Vilde’s Character Development / Gay Vilde

Sana’s Mirror and Foil

Parallels

Themes

Perspective

Here we go!

Sana being ignored - a look through the ages 

Sana has been being ignored from the first episode she is introduced.

Vilde’s first visit to the school doctor: Where’s Sana?

The rest of the girls drinking in Eva’s room before Vilde sleeps with William: Where’s Sana?

We didn’t really think much of it when it was happening, and thats because of perspective. Perspective is possibly the most important lesson in this entire series (more on that later) and we were seeing this from Eva’s perspective. Eva probably didn’t notice too much that Sana was being left out, probably because she wasn’t that close to her yet, but now we get upset about Sana being excluded because we are actually affected by it.

Even’s timeline

This is what we have been told as of now. Some theorize that some of this info is false, and we obviously have a lot of missing information, but here’s what we think we know so far:

In Even’s second year, the video interview with him and Mikael was made. (x)

It’s 2015

Even is in his third year at Bakka

He is part of the Balloon Squad

Sonja and him have been dating for a year or two at this point

At some point, Even tries to kiss Mikael

Mikael pulls away because he is religious

Even memorizes the Qur’an in Arabic in attempt to cure himself

Even begins posting verses on Facebook about gay people going to Hell (flame emoji?)

We know this is the school’s Facebook page, as per Vilde in this text

I think its safe to assume that Even was manic when he posted that stuff

BUT we cannot be sure whether he was manic or not when he decided to read the Qur’an.

Sonja says he was in S3E8

But Sonja has also said that Even’s feelings for Isak are a result of mania, and basically that Isak was a symptom of Even’s mania

Obviously this turned out to be false

So the line between his mania and non-mania regarding what happened at Bakka is still extremely blurry. (non-mania? idk what to call it sorry, as I’ve said, I’m not an expert on bipolar, and I'm pretty sure it’s not appropriate to call it “when he was ‘normal’”, is “stable” an okay word to use? someone please educate me)

He hurt someone, and we have yet to find out who that is.

We know he hurt someone, or at least thinks he did because

Take a look at the aluminum leg story in S3E3. It seems like a harmless little joke, but it turned out to be an allegory to how he thinks Sonja views their relationship and such. So in S3E10 when he says “I’ll just hurt you, and then you’ll hate me”, this isn’t just because he thinks it will happen, it’s because it has happened before.

The obvious answer at the beginning of the season was Mikael, but now it seems to be Yousef. (I think it’s Yousef)

Even’s relationship with each member of the Balloon Squad

Mikael refers to Even as his best buddy, so we know they were close at some point, definitely before the kissing incident happened.

Elias and Even must have been close as well. This is demonstrated when Even asks Sana how “the boys” are doing, and then asks specifically about Elias. This is probably because Elias is her brother, the one she would know most about, but he doesn’t go on to ask about the rest of them individually.

Yousef and Even’s relationship seems more complicated than the others. They were close friends at some point, (battle 2015 photo, Yousef knows too much a lot about what happened between him and Mikael) Even obviously still loves all the boys, as I said in the bullet above, and Yousef seems to still love Even too, as we see in S4E4. He was so upset about what happened with Even, he gave up his religion, his beliefs. I think the reason he could have been potentially upset at Sana for having them be in the same place at the end of S4E5 was because he wasn’t ready. Not because he didn’t love Even, or was mad at Even, but because he wasn’t ready. (I think this goes without saying,but when I say love here, it is being used 100% platonic. The Balloon Squad, those boys, love each other. That much is obvious, and that’s that.)

I think Mutta and Adam are just more side characters, to add to the dynamic of the squad. They balance out the 5 Girl Squad members and the 4 (5? Is Even officially part of the Boy Squad now?) Boy Squad members, so it just kinda makes sense that there would be 5 Balloon Boys as well. They were probably Even’s buddies, but not as close to him as the other three.

Hvem er Mikael?

Ahh, here we are, the ever elusive Mikael. The Man, The Myth,The Legend. He is

Even’s “best buddy” in 2015

“I’m honest because I care about you” (x)  We’ve seen Mikael and the other boys be affectionate with each other, physically and emotionally. This seems to be just another example of this.

Even refers to him as the “previous man of my life” in this text, and as I’ve stated before, Even’s jokes always have an element of truth in them somewhere.

“He tried to kiss Mikael” - Okay, but if all of what Yousef said in that clip was true, why would Mikael be laughing at the mention of Even’s name in the SMS Roulette video?

When Yousef brought up Even in “The Best of Islam”, he was sad talking about him, obviously because one of his friends tried to kill himself.

I will explain in the “The Even x Mikael x Yousef situation: A Theory” section of this post why I think that is that they have such different reactions.

The Even x Mikael x Yousef situation: A Theory

This is a theory, not an analysis of what we already know and etc.

Sooo... here are some theories (x) (x) (x) especially the last one, etc. about Yousef (and Mikael) being gay / not straight, and I honestly don’t agree with it. As much as I would love to see a Muslim LGBT+ character in the media, it just doesn’t seem like it would be Yousef to me.

Some of the evidence pointing to the fact he might be gay is

the visual parallels between Isak and Emma making out in S3E1 and Yousef and Noora making out in S4E5 (I.E. just kissing, arms at the sides, generally disinterested) which makes sense.

Julie is looking for any opportunity to throw us off, plot twist the shit out of this season, and keep us on our toes, which is getting more and more difficult as time goes on, so we always have to keep that in mind.

 Now here’s why I think he’s not gay

If Yousef was gay, and it was actually him that was involved with the kissing situation then

 the Qur’an verses that Even posted would be directed at Yousef (and himself)

Hence the flame emoji thing in the SMS Roulette video

But Elias is the one that said that.

I highly doubt that when Even posted that stuff, he called Yousef out by name. So assuming the passages were just directed at Yousef and that’s what Elias was referencing with the flame emoji thing, that would mean Elias knows that Yousef is gay or that something happened between him and Even. Then that would mean Elias encouraged Sana to romantically pursue Yousef in Humble, while knowing he was gay, and intentionally fucking over his sister???? which is the exact opposite of everything we’ve seen with him????? It just doesn’t add up

I could see Yousef being bi or something and having a sexuality crisis in his Bakka days, because I truly believe he had feelings for Sana, and if he was bi, then that takes care of that.

I also don’t think Mikael is gay / LGBT+ because

he supposedly pushed Even away for being gay because he is religious

but he wears nail polish and kisses other boy’s hands and stuff like that

and in no way am I saying that because he does that stuff that makes him gay

But if Mikael is actually homophobic, or if he is actually gay and had internalized homophobia and issues with himself, I highly doubt in either situation he’d be too keen on doing traditionally gay things a lot

does that make sense?

I think that Yousef is the only Balloon Boy that knows Even tried to kill himself

Yousef seems to be the only one that is sad to see / hear bout Even

The others seem not affected, like Mikael in SMS Roulette, or upset / startled / angry, like Elias at the end of S4E5 etc.

Other people have pointed out that if he’s the only one that knows

Yousef must have been the one to find Even when he tried

Sonja’s Role

If I did the math right, her and Even started dating roughly around 2012, waayyy before the kissing incident with the Balloon Squad

As I talked about above somewhere, she claims Even memorized the Qur’an, “because at the time he thought it was a ‘good idea’”, and how that might not be entirely true because the line between mania and non-mania back then was so blurry

So did she know about the Mikael situation?

I feel like her role might be really important, because it was actually one of the most important roles in S3, but I don’t think we’d ever see Sana and Sonja interact, so maybe when we get the full story she will have something more to do with it.

Even’s Christmas Text

This is bolded because it’s my favorite theory I think. Who could it be? That little facial expression (timestamp: 5:09) was not in there for no reason, and like Julie said, she’s looking to throw us off.

Mikael: I don’t think it’s him. The second Mikael sees Even and Isak at the karaoke bar, he’s outta there faster than a green snake in a sugar cane field. He doesn’t seem too keen on acknowledging Even.

Sana: She might have texted him right before she walked in and told him not to worry, she wouldn’t say anything, or something along those lines. Again, possible, but not likely.

Yousef: Probable. Like I’ve said before, Yousef was probably upset to see that Sana brought him and Even together because he wasn’t ready. He seems like a very thoughtful person. After Sana asks him why he doesn’t believe in Allah, he doesn’t immediate respond. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts, and I feel like he would want to think over what he wants to say to his friend he hasn’t talked to in a year who tried to kill himself very carefully, (who wouldn’t) and what better way than a text he can write over and over again and revise it?

Sonja: Everything points to her, at least to me. After Isak texted her, maybe she felt she should say something directly to Even. This always seemed the most probable to me, but I am absolutely set on finding out what that was about, and like I said in the “Sonja’s Role” section, I don’t think we’ll see more of her. The only thing I could think of is if Even tells Sana that Sonja texted him, but I don’t see how that would be relevant to anything.

Season 4 Trailer Analysis

I’m not gonna go into what each action in the trailer means. People have already done that. But the new speculation: The Trailer Is In Reverse!!!

I’m going to refer to the original trailer as the original, and the edited one as the “forwards” one.

So, in the forwards trailer, Sana trips Noora and causes a chain reaction that ends with Even getting hurt (with a selfie stick = social media?) and Isak stays by his side.

But, in the original, it starts with Even gathering up his blood (clearing up his past?) and Isak helps him back on his feet.

It ends with Sana pulling Noora up.

In the forwards version, Sana makes a decision that causes people to get hurt, while in the original Sana fixes everything just like she’s done in all three past seasons.

Also, are the roles reversed? Even bleeds in the trailer, but Isak got punched. Sana tripped Noora but Sana got hurt when Noora kissed Yousef. So if Isak is actually Even and Sana is actually Noora, is Yousef actually Mikael (and Vilde falls for Eva?)

Sana’s Attitude Towards Vilde in S4 so far

Sana seems generally annoyed at her and is ready to snip at her

“your mom is not having a wine tasting party”

Sana won’t let her talk when they go to look at the bus

Sana tells the girls they are joining with Pepsi Max, and that they pay and she is the Bus Boss

This is Vilde’s reaction:

She looks angry

But she says “sana’s the boss, she’ll fix it. Remember when she fixed the toilet paper situation (in S1)?”

This seems innocent, but I think it’s a challenge

Like “You can fix it... can’t you?”

Vilde is waiting for Sana to screw up so she can take over.

In S2, Vilde talks about how much she likes William, after she saw Noora kissing him

She does this because she’s trying to get Noora to tell her about it and get a reaction out of her

So isn’t she trying to get a reaction out of Sana too?

She’s also trying to get a rise out of Sana by talking about her and Magnus

In S4E1, before Sana walks in they are “casually talking bout different shades of blue”. Everyone stops, says hi, to her, and the Vilde pipes up and says, “anyway Magnus and I have sex all the time blahh blah blah”

In her mind, maybe what she wants to happen is Sana snaps and does something, Vilde will tell the Girl Squad she’s psycho (I could see her being like “I knew from the beginning and you guys didn’t listen to me”) and then she will be the new buss boss

Was Yousef going to kiss Sana at the end of “The Best of Islam”?

First off, I’d like to say props to Julie Andem for creating potentially the most pure relationship in television history. If Sana and Yousef do get together, I feel it is highly unlikely for them to kiss or anything, so this would be a relationship fueled by purely emotion, trust, and communication, and not on physical things (of course there’s the physical want we’ve seen from Sana’s side, but you know what I mean). I’m pretty sure no one wants to see her compromise her beliefs and have sex with Yousef or something stupid like that (like Noora did with William)

I think that he was going to kiss her

they seemed to have an entire conversation that we, the viewers, didn’t understand entirely just by looking at each other.

Yousef does this tiny little head nod (timestamp: 14:24) and leans forward a minute amount, and then Sana starts shaking her head.

Then, at 14:30 he rolls his eyes a little, and says, “No?” like he was asking to kiss her, she said no, and then he was like “why am I such an idiot, she obviously doesn’t like me if she deleted me on Facebook” etc.

This would also explain why he would kiss Noora

Sana + Noorhelm drama

Eva was the first one to know about William’s knew

Sana was the only one who wanted to tell Noora

She wanted to tell her because she’s trying to protect her friend

Just like she told Vilde William wasn’t interested in S1

Noora thought that was mean of Sana to be honest with Vilde

But Noora thought it was mean of Sana to not tell her?

SANA WAS LITERALLY ABOUT TO TELL NOORA AND THEN NOORA STARTED TALKING OVER HER. In “heartbreak”, (timestamp: 5:28) Sana takes a breath and says, “Du-” (you) and immediately gets cut off by Noora saying “oh my god, if I think about him with anyone else I’m going to break” or whatever

Maybe Noora will realize this and apologize to Sana right away and it will set up Noora being on Sana’s side when she finds out about Sana being kicked off the bus?

But maybe I’m just being optimistic

Yousef and Not Fighting

I feel like the reason he stayed behind was because he didn’t want to choose sides. If we’re sticking with the theory that he knew about about Even’s suicide attempt, but the others didn’t, then this makes sense. He didn’t want to choose sides. He wouldn’t want to go out there and fight with the Balloon Squad because he obviously still cares about Even and wouldn’t want to fight his friends. But he wouldn’t want to fight with the Boy Squad because then he’d have to explain why he stood up for Even to the Balloon boys, and tell them about the suicide attempt.

What was the fight about?

My original theory: before the clip came out, I saw the BTS pics and thought maybe Magnus finds out about the SMS roulette Nudes 4 Nudes thing and dukes it out when he sees Elias. This is probably not true now that we’ve seen the clip.

Obvious theory: Mikael or Mutta, the only two outside with the Boy Squad, started a fight because they didn’t like seeing Even in a homosexual relationship. Obvious. Too obvious. Especially because the girls in the bathroom think that's why it happened.

Other: Isak threw the first punch. As we see him walking away, we see him shaking his hand. Maybe because he was shaking off blood, maybe because he was shaking off pain?

Girls in the bathroom

Like I just said, Because they think that the fight was about Muslims Vs. Gays™ this is probably not true.

Sana can’t win. According to the girls, she’s too Muslim to be on the bus and be a good bus boss... but she’s not Muslim enough to be a good representation of Islam... like... what? That conversation upset me so much.

Did Vilde snake? Or is that just false rumors? I don’t think Noora knows, or Chris, but did Eva know that they were going to throw her off the bus? She looks uncomfortable when Sana and Noora approach them and the Pepsi Max girls. Assuming they didn’t know, will they stand by her? Will they take Pepsi Max’s side?

Noora’s motivation to kiss Yousef

1. Noora did not know about Sana’s feelings for Yousef. She had already expressed interest in him, and was lonely and upset and saw him and kissed him.

2. Noora did know about Sana’s feelings for Yousef, and she was upset at Sana and wanted to get back at her. Some think that Noora expressing interest in Yousef was actually her subtly asking about Sana’s feelings for him. This seems ooc to me, but who knows?

Yousef’s Motivation to kiss Noora

This is more complicated.

Perspective: He didn’t actually like Sana, and since we’re seeing things through her eyes, she made it up in her head. He is affectionate with his friends, so he would be affectionate towards her too. (This kinda makes sense, but my Yousana shipping heart refuses to believe it)

Mama Bakkoush told him to stay away. This seems like a possibility, like after she knows 100% that there is nothing to worry about, and then she texts Sana and is like “I trust you” etc. I just feel like every time we see a kid with a religious family, the parents are always portrayed as overbearing and suffocating, and I feel like Julie is gonna give us a new look at a religious poc mom that is actually a great mom, like most of what we’ve seen of her.

The most likely thing to me seems like he liked her, and then was upset because he opened up to her in S4E4, and then she put the Balloon Boys and Evak intentionally in the same place without warning him. Or Noora told him what Sana said about him being immature etc.

Season 4 Hiatus Trailer Analysis

Who is eating the carrot?

Assuming it’s Noora, the carrot represents Yousana. She destroys it.

Assuming it’s Sana, the carrot represents her feelings. Instead of “pulling it closer”, like Yousef suggests, she “pushes it away and looses control over it.” Her feelings eat her up, and she’s stuffing all her feelings inside.

It is Isak’s black eye, someone did a side by side comparison proving it’s him.

Whose hair and whose hand?

Yousef running his hands through his hair?

Mikael running his hands through his hair?

Even running his hands through Mikael’s hair? (Pls no Julie)

It looks like a male hand, so not Noora and Yousef.

I think it’s Yousef. look at how he does it in “feel it coming”

Sara’s Mouth.

She’s smiling... dos this mean she gets what she wants and Sana is actually thrown off the bus?

BIGGER IDEAS

Why the Russ bus is Important

It’s a symbol. Y’all are complaining that it’s getting too much screen time for something we won’t even get to see, but first of all, It’s what brought the girls together in the first place. But it’s also a symbol to Sana. It’s a symbol of her Norwegian identity. 

Vilde’s Character Development / Gay Vilde

Very few side characters have gone through development. It’s mainly only been

William through the second season.

We’ve also heard of Even’s development; he hated himself for wanting to kiss boys and now he’s comfortable with himself. We didn’t actually see that though, we only know him after he’s comfortable with himself.

One could make the argue Jonas had a little development, from Jonas “you only know gay songs” Noah Vasquez in S1 to Jonas “what’s up with you dissing gay people”  “he needs to break up with his girlfriend”  “straight up” Noah Vasquez in S3.

Vilde is the most complex non-main character we’ve ever had, but is there even time for a redemption arc?

When I first saw the gay Vilde theory, I thought it was just people on Tumblr doing their thing and head cannoning her as gay with only 1 questionable scene as evidence but upon further inspection....

The thing that sticks out to me most is the scene in S1 when Vilde is trying to get turned on when thinking about William, she says “nothing makesme horny”. Then in S2 when are the girls are sitting on the windowsil, Noora is texting so it’s only in some versions of the subtitles, but Vilde’s back at it again talking about Noora being a lesbian. And Vilde says “I’ve made out with Eva. The feelings that arise when you make out with a girl don’t necessarily mean you’re a lesbian.”  Eva replies, “What kind of feelings?”  To which Vilde responds “horny”.

This post does a nice job outlining it.

Sana’s Mirror and Foil

Even is Sana’s Mirror (click here if you don’t know what a mirror is, or here to see how Noora was Isak’s mirror in S3)

Even pulled away from Isak after Isak said “I don’t want mentally Ill people in my life”

Sana pulled away from Yousef after he said “I don’t believe in Allah”

Again, God bless Julie Andem, we get to see the perspective of both sides

Even’s struggle with his past vs. his future self, and we’ll probably see him find a great balance, Sana’s struggle with her Muslim self vs her Norwegian self, which again, we will hopefully see resolved.

Noora is Sana’s Foil (click here or here if you don’t know what a foil is)

She is the epitome of the typical Norwegian girl, what Sana thinks she is expected to be like, or what she wants to fit into. The girls in the bathroom saying “wow Noora’s so pretty” Noora kissing Sana’s love interest, etc. etc.

Evak is paralleling Yousana

Evak is the foil to Vildus

I will explain more of that in a later post I will make and link to it

Parallels

Like I said, I’m working on it. It needs to be a whole separate post because this is already so long.

Themes

Figuring out who you are and who you want to be, rather than what others want you to be. In Season 1, when Eva tells Jonas that “his opinion meant more than her own, and that’s not okay.” The central theme of Season 1, reflected again in Season 3 with Isak struggling to fit in with his friends. This also seems to be making a comeback in Season 4, Sana struggling between her Muslim identity, her Norwegian identity, and her personality. She’s the kind of person who’s comfortable with who she is, but I think she has yet to find out who that is.

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.

Learn to consider how other people think. Everyone has their reasons for what they do, not everyone will think the way you do, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Think back to Sana and Noora and the windowsill talk in Season 2, or in Season 3 when Sana tells Isak “can’t we just agree that there’s a lot between Heaven and Earth that none of us know anything about? Instead of sitting here criticizing my religion, just respect that we’ve chosen different beliefs.”

Alt er love

Predestination. In season 3, with all of the Christianity symbolism and talk of parrallel universes, we see that you can’t see the future. Every choice you make affects the possibilities for the future, so instead of worrying about what you did, and what might happen, just remember that

Life is Now.

Misunderstandings. Season 4. This is pretty self explanatory, and I’m extremely interested to see how his plays out.

Perspective. THIS IS HUGE. THIS IS THE OVERALL THEME OF THE ENTIRE SHOW, SO IT GETS ITS OWN SECTION.

PERSPECTIVE

Oh boy, here we go. The reason why the narrative only stays in one person’s perspective for a whole season is because that’s how we get immersed in the story. We don’t know more than they know, we are frustrated because we don’t know why that other person did that thing to the main. It makes everything more relatable, and hit closer to home. This ties into communication is key, this ties into misunderstandings, this ties into be yourself, this ties into Alt er love, this ties into be kind always. It teaches us that we can’t get into someone else head. We can’t make assumptions about other people. We won’t ever truly understand someone without seeing everything from their perspective.

So remember: Karma’s a bitch, be kind, always, alt er love, and life is... Now.

[sodypap]

so i just finished rewatching the road to el dorado (again) which is one of my favorite animated movies and i wanna talk all about how super queer it is

so lemme hit you with some bullet points

for starters, let’s talk about how the actual movie is framed

two guys (miguel and tulio) have a close (undefined?) relationship

they have their differences but they’re practically inseparable

through a series of insane coincidences (divine interference??) they end up at el dorado

they meet a girl named chel, and they’re both attracted to her but agree not to get involved with her

tulio ends up getting close to chel anyway, and this upsets miguel and tulio’s relationship

they still manage to stay in el dorado and pretend to be gods for three days because of more lucky experiences/divine interferences (the volcano almost exploding and then receding, the ball going into the hoop allowing them to win the game, etc.)

it’s also shown that tulio and miguel have very different morals/values that seem to be getting in the way of their relationship and are (mostly) unrelated to chel being in the picture (miguel wanting to explore the city vs tulio wanting to lay low, for instance)

they end up all three leaving together anyway, without gold (which is what they went to el dorado for), miguel and tulio’s relationship repaired, and chel seemingly attached to both miguel and tulio

you could view all this as Heterosexual “platonic male friendship triumphs despite those pesky tempting Women getting in the way” but uh... nah that’s boring

here’s what we could maybe interpret from the movie (and i’m putting a “read more” because this got away from me)

el dorado is a special place where weird things happen to tulio and miguel’s relationship

something/someone/multiple someones (gods maybe) want t + m to get to el dorado and stay there long enough for... what?

(for them to work out their relationship in the liminal space that is el dorado, that’s what!)

they don’t end up with gold, and if we interpret them as being “just friends” throughout the entire movie, then it doesn’t really seem like their relationship has changed at the end of the movie at all

it just seems like they’re as close as they were before, except tulio has a girlfriend now, which isn’t very satisfying and isn’t exactly great storytelling

it’s much more interesting to interpret t + m’s relationship as evolving throughout the movie, because of their journey to el dorado and because they’ve met chel

so here’s what i’ve got (and this is also where the non-canon interpretative stuff comes in)

at the start of the movie (which begins in spain), tulio and miguel’s relationship is basically the quintessence of the facebook relationship status “it’s complicated”

they know they’re attracted to each other and they love each other and they’re definitely more than friends but??

they also want to like?? date other people???

but they’re still in love with each other???? it’s confusing

they have a system worked out where they always tell each other when they go on dates/hook up with other people and they find that that communication feels comfortable and good 

(which is why the whole “girl from barcelona” thing didn’t go over well - miguel hadn’t told tulio about her and that wasn’t part of their Plan)

and they don’t really understand why they feel so okay with not being exclusive so they chalk it up to #brosbeingbros

(sorry boys #bros don’t bathe naked together and casually touch each other and make declarations of love in the face of death but whatever)

they call each other “partner” because “friend” (or “pal” lmao) doesn’t feel... right? for how strongly they feel about each other?

basically they can’t understand how they can date each other and how they can also date other people and it’s confusing and they’d rather not define things for now

then we get to el dorado

and chel!

(sidenote: i love chel)

tulio and miguel are both attracted and attached to chel (the movie focuses more on tulio and chel’s relationship, but we definitely start to see miguel and chel’s closeness near the end when she kisses him)

it’s chel that forces tulio and miguel to really look at what they mean to each other

lbr - if they were just friends, buddies, pals, then miguel staying in el dorado to be a “god” and tulio leaving with chel wouldn’t have been such a big deal

and it’s clear that miguel isn’t jealous of tulio for having chel - he’s upset with tulio because it seems like tulio likes chel more than he likes miguel

(like that’s LITERALLY how the movie frames it)

but tulio and miguel have bound themselves in this weird psuedo-relationship where they don’t really want to step outside of monogamy and other socially-acceptable relationship boundaries, so they’re like, “yeah we’re just friends, we can just split up, it’s not a big deal”

it’s definitely a big deal, because they don’t split up at the end of the movie - the three of them all leave together!

what happens (aka what do i want to have happen) post-movie?

tulio x miguel x chel duh. but let me elaborate.

miguel’s like “whelp. you guys are together now. that’s great!”

chel: “yeah, we’re all together now!”

m: “yeah but like... you and tulio are... together.”

c: “??? i must’ve misread things because i thought we were all kind of dating now?”

m + t: “wait YOU CAN DO THAT??”

the three of them spend their whole trip back to spain trying to sort things out

c: “so for years you guys have been in love but you haven’t actually made anything official because you kept liking other people too?”

m + t: “we didn’t know you could?? date multiple people??? at once????”

m + t: *explain all the things they do together as Bros*

chel: “those are all things that couples do you idiots”

m + t: “HOLY SHIT”

when they get back to spain chel gives them some space at first to figure out their relationship and they go on lots of dates and are generally just disgustingly couple-y

but of course they miss chel so they go on lots of tri-dates together and introduce chel to spain

and then chel goes on a few dates with miguel because they didn’t get enough of a chance to just spend time with each other what with all of the Drama going on in el dorado

and then chel and tulio go on some dates and the three of them sort of continue that pattern

and they’re all just so goddamn happy 

to sum up

miguel and tulio needed to go to el dorado and meet chel in order to figure out their relationship

there was no point to all that lucky stuff happening unless miguel and tulio had a purpose in going to el dorado, and instead of getting gold out of it, they get a better understanding of their relationship (and chel!)

drama happens in el dorado but it works out and three of them leave together to a song that literally has the lyrics “on the trail we blaze”

(they are trailblazers. their relationship is literally blazing a trail do you see what i’m saying here)

in conclusion

@ dreamworks i will pay you to write sequel with canonically polyromantic miguel + tulio + chel please