#because why the fuck else would you devote your whole activist career to that. its fundamentally still abt being gender conforming

[vamptastic]

it's not like in the transphobes world i could even just go oh okay i'll stop trying to transition and go back to square one - the goalposts are constantly shifting. can i still use a masculine name? what constitutes a masculine name? can i still dress like a man? how does a man dress? does liking other men make me less of a man? and in that case, what would liking other women, as a woman, make me? when have i accepted my role as a woman enough for you? when i wear skirts and dresses? grow my hair? marry a man? carry a child? i'm jewish, do i follow my cultures standards of womanhood or yours? my hormone levels are already that of a 'man' from pcos, should i start taking estrogen? there is no woman version of me to return to, this is just how i am. it's asking me to invent a fascimile of myself that has never existed. i genuinely wouldn't know how to do it. not only would i be profoundly miserable, but i would be an outright different person. the version of me that never realized what was making me so miserable and how to begin to fix it would be dead by now.