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crusherthedoctor · 5 years ago

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Sonic Villains: Sweet or Shite? - Part 15: DR. EGGMAN

There are some villains I like. And there are some villains I don’t like. But why do I feel about them the way I do? That’s where this comes in.

This is a mini-series of mine, in which I go into slightly more detail about my thoughts on the villains in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, and why I think they either work well, or fall flat (or somewhere in-between). I’ll be giving my stance on their designs, their personalities, and what they had to show for themselves in the game(s) they featured in. Keep in mind that these are just my own personal thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions! I don’t bite. :>

Anyhow, for today’s installment, it’s finally time for him. The bad doctor himself. Gather round ladies and gentleman, for the spotlight is on the arch-villain that shines above them all... Dr. Eggman.

The Gist: It's the dawn of the 90's. A little company called SEGA had an ephiphany. They wanted to make a video game juggernaut that could rival the quality and iconic appeal of the then-unmatched Super Mario Bros, and their current star, Alex Kidd, just wasn't doing it in the way that they hoped. They promptly set about starting anew, as a worldwide phenomenon wasn't going to make itself.

So a gentleman named Naoto Ohshima created a selection of design concepts for this brand new mascot. One of these concepts was President Roosevelt in his pajamas.

Seen here with his catgirl body pillow.

The response to this character was “This is good, but we think kids would prefer kicking the shit out of him”, and so he was given an antagonistic role instead. In the meantime, after juggling the rest of their ideas, they eventually settled on a rabbit hedgehog named Sonic for their main protagonist, knowing his Mickey Mouse-like aesthetic would help endear him to the audience, and the franchise as a whole would have an easier time gaining a DeviantART fanbase later on down the line.

Initially, the character of today's review was but a mere lackey among many, seemingly little more than one of numerous minions working for Sonic's originally intended main villain, the Nonspecific Goblin. He was also dressed as a bee for some reason.

Which is the least weirdest thing in this image.

At some point however, they all got together and decided that actually, the guy with the moustache was the only one worth shit, and so he was upgraded to the role of main villain himself. With a spiffy new attire of red and black, he was given the bold title of Dr. Eggman, because with a shape like that, what else are you gonna call him?

“Funny you should say that”, laughed SEGA of America, as they rebelled like an angsty teen and named him Dr. Ivo Robotnik instead. While this name does make equal sense for the character, as he is indeed a hard worker who also happens to like robots, the reason for this name's existence seems to have been mainly because they thought Eggman was too out there of a name for an egg-like man. Whatever the case, this would confuse a lot of fans for years, and remains a point of divisiveness to this day... Unless you're like me and your first game in the series was Advance 2, in which the manual clears it up right away, and you accept the idea of a character having two names and immediately carry on with your life.

He would have aimed it perfectly if it weren't for the Sonic Heroes Parrot distracting him.

And that was that, really. It didn't take long for them to come up with his characterization, which was that of a cackling fiend with an ego to end all egos. This guy was the Narcissist Alpha, more king than actual kings, no strings attached. Other villains would build statues of themselves, but only Robotnik would deface Ancient Egyptian monuments to improve them with his face. Other villains would think “Nah, refacing all four in Rushmore would look silly”, but only the Eggman, the Eggmyth, the Egglegend, would go “Well fuck you, I'm doing it anyway.” Then he'd do it anyway, and proceed to address to the entire world that he did in fact do it anyway.

It also didn't take long for them to develop his primary schtick. With the dynamic of Sonic VS Eggman, you had a classic rivalry between nature and technology. Interestingly enough however, this turned out to be executed more tactfully than your typical Amish-abiding examples in similar media. Never was technology itself regarded as a corruptive influence that you should never utilise no matter what. Rather, it was only as good or as evil as the person using it, with it just so happening that the villain loved machinery only slightly less than he loved himself, and it was countered by Sonic’s best friend being a techno wiz in his own right anyway. Anyhow, with his machinery, the doctor would make a name for himself among video game baddies by confronting his enemy as the boss of nearly every zone in each game, rather than hide away until the endgame.

And all without a driver's licence.

In his soon-to-be-30 years of activity, he has largely remained the same since his inception. Other characters have been introduced, other villains have came and went, but Eggman has remained THE villain of the franchise, and he's remained a vital part of the Sonic the Hedgehog universe... with a slight redesign along the way.

The only ad I don't want to skip.

The Design: Eggman's design may be more simplistic than the likes of Bowser and Ganondorf, and he may not look as openly threatening at first glance, but it's still a very iconic look no matter what look it is. His original appearance was devised so that kids could have an easy time drawing him, which only makes me feel worse about not being able to do it as a grown adult without it looking like a Sexy Legs Kirby.

Still, it's a classic for a reason. With his to-the-point colour scheme, contrasting heavily with Sonic's blue, and his capelet collar resembling walrus tusks, it was an instant winner and made everyone goo goo for g'joob.

The Emeralds he’s juggling are a metaphor for the divided fan community.

And when it was time to give the cast an update for Sonic's first real 3D adventure (or at least the first one that didn't get axed for being a magic eye seizure), Eggman got a respectable change of his own. He was taller, his getup was militaristic, and his body was more legitimately egg-shaped rather than basketball-shaped. He also gained a pair of goggles that he never uses, except in scenes where he puts them on and then never uses them.

“How do my chicken legs not collapse under the might of my gluttonous mass? Find out in an unrelated tie-in novel that you have to pay additional money for.”

There was also that one redesign from 2006, but...

Be it Classic or Modern, I've always loved his design. Before he even says a word or does anything, you know from his appearance that he's a bit of a clownish sort. But he also has a subtle creepy vibe going on, with the way his glasses often obscure his eyes, and how this only makes the pearly-white, unnecessarily wide grin on his face that much more empty and unsettling. This little bit of eeriness hiding among his cartoonish physique reflects the full extent of his character pretty accurately, as we’ll delve into soon enough.

If nothing else, it's more effective than him having no eyes at all.

GRRRRRRRR FUCK YOU BUNNIES THAT I CAN'T SEE

The Personality: If you've seen my villain reviews, then you'll have gathered that Sonic's rogues aren't known for having much in the way of personality. There are exceptions, but they are indeed the exceptions. More often than not though, whether it's an alien conquerer, an ancient monster, or Dan Green the Recolour, they can be summed up thusly: They're evil, they want to destroy the world, and the heroes stop them because they're evil and want to destroy the world. If they're feeling particularly daring, they might go for a second colour.

Luckily, as if to counter all these cardboard drawings, the central adversary of the franchise makes up for these voids of personality by actually having one. And what a personality it is.

The writers of SatAM looked at this and thought “No, this won't do, there's no character to work with here.”

He really is brimming with comedic charm. Every moment that he's present...

Every moment that he shows off...

Every moment that he basks in his own glory...

Every moment that he unveils a new wicked scheme...

Every moment that he puts his enemies to the test...

Every moment that he challenges the world...

Every moment that he laughs at the world...

Every moment that he lives, nay, every moment that he breathes...

Yes, the man has plenty of humor, and it's part of what makes him so enjoyable and memorable. However, if you think being a clown is all there is to him, then prepare to have your expectations subverted initial assumptions taken in a unexpected direction, because although he puts the goof in goofy, he ALSO puts the “oh...?” in “oh shit”.

For you see, Eggman is by all means the epitome of Laughably Evil, but do not, under any circumstance, take him at face value and write him off as a joke. He is anything but.

For starters, he can swing a planet.

There is a rule of thumb that I personally go by with Eggman’s characterization, one that I believe is an immediate make or break factor in regards to whether or not you understand what makes this villain work. Eggman - when you put all his secondary traits aside - is made up of two prominent halves. There’s the egocentric meme machine that bounces up and down like a kid with his N64 and laughs like Santa... and there’s the monster buried within that remains completely and utterly unrepentant for everything he’s responsible for. This is very important. Despite the character’s simplicity at his core, many writers have failed to grasp this, official writers included, and I for the life of me cannot understand why this is such a recurring problem. Eggman is funny, AND Eggman is evil. Both are equal. When you take away one or the other, you may have a funny character, or you may have an evil character, but you don’t have Eggman. Simple as.

Armchair intellectuals may argue that Eggman’s deeds aren’t that evil, since he tends to be merely callous rather than actively trying to hurt or kill people. Those people are probably the types on TV Tropes who weigh a villain’s evilness and effectiveness purely through the surface-level scale of their goals rather than what they actually do to achieve them. While it is true that Eggman tends to be more apathetic about the aftermath of his actions, that doesn’t - and shouldn’t - negate how dangerous he is. It shouldn’t negate what he’s capable of. It shouldn’t negate how far he’s willing to go. And it shouldn’t negate the consequences and casualties that can and do result from his many schemes.

Seriously, think about this for a second. If you confronted Eggman about his current plan to... I dunno, make a water park in Africa or some shit, and you informed him that there has been unexpected mass suffering as a result of this, how do you think he would truly feel about that? What do you think he would actually say to that?

Spoiler: No fucks.

If anything, that he “merely” doesn’t care either way as long as he gets what he wants is more uniquely horrific and deplorable than if he were a generic baddie who committed his evulz specifically for evulz’s own sake and nothing more. At least you’re inadvertently acknowledging that other people’s lives have value when you act one-dimensionally gleeful over ending them, but when your immediate response to the side-effect of a million potential deaths and environmental disasters is “Oh well, fuck ‘em, Eggmanland time baybeeee”, that’s a new level of cruelty.

Besides, even in the Genesis era, he was carpet bombing Angel Island...

“Good thing I have this shield. Sucks to be this forest!”

And he’s only gotten worse since then, indulging in such acts as going full suicide bomber with a missile, after his initial plot to destroy and rebuild Station Square through the means of Chaos and the Egg Carrier didn’t work out...

But don’t worry, he kept it lighthearted by making it look like a penis.

Making one of Sonic’s friends go insane with power against their will, forcing the Blue Blur to put them down personally...

It’s ironic, cause he’s metal. Or do I have to awkwardly explain the joke two more times before I’m a proper YouTuber?

Capturing thousands of innocent aliens, and forcefully converting them into mindless beasts...

I’m pretty sure I saw Alfred Molina conduct this experiment one time.

He even removed the heroes’ collective IQs so that he could shoehorn a cliffhanger on an already terrible game.

Thanks, cunt.

And honestly? When it comes to Sonic and chums at least, Eggman does let out a more openly sadistic side now and then. Need I mention that time when the doctor forced Sonic and two random buddies to make their way through a trap-infested island of his own creation? Not for the sake of nabbing Chaos Emeralds or anything of the sort mind you, he just wanted the blue motor mouth to suffer.

Images you can hear.

To make matters even worse, as befitting of his manchild tendencies, he’s ridiculously petty. How petty? Petty enough to abduct a little girl’s mother for no other reason than because Cheese completely trivialized his forces the girl was friends with Sonic and helped participate in the latest kicking of his own ass.

He only picked Vanilla because there was no Strawberry.

But at least his captives can admire the sheer variety that their captor has to offer. One of the greatest things about the doctor's style is that anything goes. With all due respect to Bowser, he tends to stick with his fiery castles (although he has been branching out recently), and plenty of other villains in gaming tend to be similarly stuck in their ways when it comes to tastes. Eggman, on the other hand, will create all sorts of fortresses and reside anywhere on the planet and beyond. It can be in the sky, in space, somewhere hot, somewhere cold, under the sea, in a circus... and every now and then, he might combine some of them together and thensome. So long as it's even vaguely mechanical in some way, his ground rules have already been ticked off.

Hang on a minute...

You know what else Eggman is? Relentless.

Persistence is a quality that most villains by their very nature share, lest they cease to be an effective antagonist. But once again, Rrrrrrrobotnik maxes out more than any other, and will often go to insane lengths to keep the current plan going, or if not that, then to spite Sonic.

Exhibit A: Sonic 3 & Knuckles, in which the grand finale consists of the madman throwing a gravity-shifting contraption your way, busting out a Kaiju-sized robo, escaping with the Master Emerald after his defeat, continuing to escape even after the Death Egg has been thoroughly destroyed, getting chased through the asteroid fields in space by Super Sonic, and only finally going down when the escape craft and the piloted mech controlling the escape craft are down. And all of this came after a grand adventure where, among other things, he destroyed an entire level just to kill you.

There are immortal omnipotents that put up less of a challenge.

“Looks like it’s time for Plan... *checks paper*... F.”

His relentlessness also reveals another side of the doctor that is simultaneously admirable and terrifying: He bows to no one. No one. Doesn’t matter who it is. Doesn’t matter how powerful they are. Doesn’t matter how much the odds are stacked against him. If another villain were to demand that he cower before them, the scientist would laugh and show through physical demonstration that this is not the way the egg rolls. Unless he’s absolutely unable to do so, he will give it his all every time, and even if he can’t, he’ll use his crafty mind to find some other way to get around the issue. You can beat him in battle, you can foil his plans, but you absolutely cannot break his resolve.

“Dad said it’s my turn to play with the Ruby. I know this, because I’m your dad.”

What about his relationship with those who actually serve him? Specifically, his own robots? Well for the most part, he treats them like absolute crap, what with verbally abusing them at every corner and being all too willing to go full Vader on them the moment they mess up. He IS capable of expressing fondness and giving praise to his more successful creations, like with Metal Sonic and Gamma, but even then, it’s a roundabout way of praising himself, since he’s the one who made them what they are. So basically, you’re only valuable to him if you make him look good.

Gaming in the Clinton Years in a nutshell.

And as for Sonic? Yeah, like with any legendary and long-lasting hero/villain dynamic, it’s obvious that Eggman has some degree of begrudging respect for his opponent. But if you think this respect would dissuade him from actually going through with his ambitions of rulership...

As the hedgehog’s apparent demise in Sonic Adventure 2 proves, as well as his defeat at the hands of Infinite and the subsequent six months of brutal conquest in Sonic Forces, Eggman is dead serious about his goals. If you think he’d get bored after conquering the world, he would simply expand his resources and have a crack at conquering the rest of the universe. When he says he hates that hedgehog, I’m inclined to believe that he means it, and although he may enjoy his “games” with Sonic to an extent, I also can’t see him wanting to remain stuck on square one forever.

If this were Sonic X, he’d just grieve.

By the way, the scene above? Undeniable proof that for all the doctor’s boasting, he’s not actually lying or exaggerating when he prides himself on his brilliance. Because when you get past his goofy exterior, when you look beyond the occasional, relatively minor mistake (*glares at IDW*), you’ll see that... yes. He IS brilliant. And not just in the science department either, although his countless robots and strongholds over the years are no doubt a testament to his credentials there. While he may prefer to go in big and bold, he can also be shrewd with his strategies when he wants to be.

Sonic’s aforementioned near-death experience, for example, was the result of Eggman turning the heroes’ own cunning plan on its head by being one step ahead of them. And in Sonic Unleashed, he lured his enemy into a trap, culminating with him cancelling out Super Sonic.

“...and pay the price for your Werehog gameplay...”

And after all those years of struggling, he finally got a giant monster under his complete control. “But he had help!”, you say? Yeah, from himself.

Did Flynn sleep through all this...?

Much like his inner nature as an evil bastard, Eggman's effectiveness is likewise commonly underestimated by writers. Yes, he occasionally makes mistakes. Yes, he occasionally overlooks details. Yes, he occasionally lacks foresight. But he is NOT stupid. A hero is only as good as their villain after all, and if Eggman is portrayed as a bumbling fool, then how can Sonic be a truly great hero? Eggman is humorous, sinister, and when the chips are down, competent.

...Did I mention that he's also a master Olympian?

The Execution: There's no surprises here. You knew from the moment you saw this review that my stance wasn't going to be anything less than 100% fanboy adoration. In that respect, this section almost feels redundant, because there's only so many ways I can say “Dr. Eggman is the fucking shit and I'm eternally grateful to Mr. Ohshima for bringing this absolute masterpiece into our world” without it getting repetitive. So to cap this review off, I'm going to very briefly compare his portrayals in other media, and explain why they tend to not be as good as the original SEGA Eggman.

“Cause they’re not balanced, right?” you ask. “Cause they veer too far in a particular direction? You're so predictable,” you add. To that I say:

1. Yeah, basically.

2. ...S-Shut up...

3. While the conclusion may be obvious, it's nonetheless important because as I mentioned previously, despite how straightforward this villain is, writers seem absolutely intent on not getting the point. There are loads of villains out there who share Eggman's talent of mixing hilarity and evil together with a bow of competence on top. Two of those villains are among the most famous supervillains of all time, in fact. You might have heard of them.

Joker can do it just fine. Green Goblin can do it just fine. And plenty of others can do it just fine. So why is it such an issue with Eggman? What is it about a round body and a long moustache that gets people to think “No, this guy is absolutely incapable of being comedic and threatening at the same time, no question, end of.” Is it because he’s a more cartoony franchise? Well, that can't be the case, because even Mario has a couple of beloved examples. Fawful, anyone? How about Dimentio? Cackletta? King Boo? K. Rool? Hell, you could even count Bowser himself depending on the portrayal.

Anyway, the point is, writers tend to miss the mark for one reason or another. With Sonic X for example, he wasn't too bad in the beginning, but as the show went on, he became exactly the toothless non-villain that many people misjudge him as. We all know that scene where he berates Black Narcissus for harming their captives (not for pragmatic reasons mind you, he genuinely took issue with the act on moral grounds, even though his own hands weren’t exactly clean either), but even before that point, he was doing such things as healing an injured Sonic without an ulterior motive, not taking any opportunity whatsoever to start conquering Sonic's world because he was pining for Sonic's attention, and being the Jiminy Cricket to Chris Thorndyke's Pinocchio. Why they thought the goddamn villain should be the moral conscience of this show remains an unanswered question, but at least it no longer influences how he's portrayed in the games.

Then you have the IDW comic, which is a similar tale of starting off decent and then careening wildly into the abyss, but for different reasons. Initially, he was built up to be in-line with his competent, foresight-packed self from Forces, with his inevitable return being met with dread, and a delightfully devilish scheme to match when he finally did so. But somewhere along the way, Ian Flynn thought that Eggman coming back from his amnesiac period and returning stronger than ever with a new minion and a deadly virus wasn't enough to up the stakes... so they decided to “up the stakes” by turning both the doctor and his new minion into massive imbeciles so as to justify their plot getting hijacked by the Deadly Six, a move so predictable yet infuriating that it got even me to turn against the Six. And the reason the Six got invited in-universe is because Starline decided he didn’t like being unique and devolved into Snively 2.0 behind Eggman’s back. All this from the alleged “best writer” for the series...

Yeah, same.

And then you have the Boom version, which shares basically the same issues as Sonic X but in a more mundane fashion. It's easier to dismiss because it's a comedy-centric show and his redesign makes it easier to separate him from mainline Eggman, and I'll gladly admit that he does have a lot of genuinely funny lines that redeem him a little bit. But yeah, too much of not being a true villain for my tastes.

Now this isn't to say that there haven't been portrayals in other media that are up there with the original. The versions that I consider better off than the ones above include...

- The OVA Eggman is pretty faithful all things considered, aside from his romantic feelings for Sara, which feels slightly off since the idea of Eggman loving anyone other than himself is incredibly unrealistic at best. But it doesn't actually soften or undermine his deviousness, so I'm willing to let it slide for an alternate take. Especially since he gave us the best Metal Sonic out there.

- AoStH is far from a perfect show, but there's a reason why even its detractors tend to treat its version of Robotnik like a national treasure. Admittedly most of that is because of the legendary Long John Baldry and the endless memes associated with this incarnation, but despite hailing from a comedy-focused show like Boom Eggman, this Robotnik still had a lot of legitimately dangerous moments, more than you'd think.

- And of course, Jim Carrey's Robotnik in the Sonic movie is just... *chef's kiss*

So obvious aesop though it may be, but you see what the more effective portrayals have in common, I assume?

Granted, this also isn't to say that SEGA Eggman himself has had a perfect track record. The decade's worth of upstagings and backstabbings by other villains should be enough of a counterpoint to that claim, and I've also made it clear now and then that I take issue with certain games regarding what they do with the doc, no matter how revered they may be by other fans. Sonic Adventure 2, for instance. I praised the fake emerald scene, and I do sincerely believe that he has a number of other badass moments in that game, but because Shadow was playing him like a fool the whole time, I can't help but have a bitter taste in my mouth when I look at the bigger picture.

So close to greatness, yet so far...

So in that case, which game do I think has Eggman's best showing overall? That's not in any way an easy question, but lack of dialogue aside, I'm gonna go with Sonic 3 & Knuckles again, as the classic journey through the sights of Angel Island plays out in a way that highlights just how determined, ruthless, and underhanded he is with carrying out his mission to revive the Death Egg by any means necessary. Other games do win out in other areas - SA1 for how bastardly he is, Forces for how cunning he is, Colours for his hilarious announcements, CD for using the scenery to show the effects of his actions, Mania for not letting the other villain walk all over him - but for the purest essence of the doctor at his cartoony yet competent best, I'd say S3&K is a reasonable bet.

And when it comes to all his many traits, which one do I find the most special one of all? Well again, far from easy to answer, but I think the coolest aspect about him is also one of the most overlooked. Robotnik, despite whatever superhuman qualities he may occasionally unveil, is for all intents and purposes a regular guy with a big brain. This might make him appear unimpressive when compared to your average Final Fantasy villain and the like, but if anything, it paints him in a more flattering light than expected, because he doesn't even need to be on their level to still be on the radar. It's easy to be a big bad threat when you're an ancient demon or an almighty god-like being, and you only have to wave a hand to cause armageddon. But when you're just Some Guy™ going up against superpowered opponents, meaning you have to earn your threat level the hard way, and you prove to be a challenge every step of the way regardless, because you're just THAT much of a genius... that's fucking awesome, no other way to put it.

And you know what else is awesome? You may not like Eggman, and you don’t have to like him, but like it or not, he is directly and indirectly responsible for a vast majority of the coolest and most loved moments and aspects of this franchise.

The opening to Unleashed? Eggman set up the scene.

Shadow running around and continuing to be part of the franchise? Eggman released him.

Blaze getting involved with Sonic’s world and continuing to be part of the franchise? Eggman’s half-responsible for that.

Metal Sonic? Eggman made him.

Egg Dragoon? Eggman.

Big Arm? Eggman.

Monkey Dude? Eggman.

That text is missing a blue checkmark.

This review is probably longer than the echidna family tree in Archie at this point, so I better finish it off. If it wasn't obvious from all the paragraphs I've belted out in this post, I'm very passionate about Eggman and the way he’s portrayed. Ever since I got into the Sonic franchise in 2003, I immediately took a liking to the doctor, and to this day, he remains not only my favourite Sonic villain, my favourite Sonic character, but also my favourite character period. Some may find it a weird or lame choice compared to other, “better” characters, but that's the way it is, and I ain't about to change it. I am very unlikely to ever stop enjoying the hell out of this villain, and even if he got irreversibly ruined in some way, I'd still continue to love what he was before that point.

Because yeah, he's not the deepest character ever, but... who cares? Is it not enough that we find something that appeals to us? When I got into Sonic, I was introduced to fantastic games, a likable cast, high quality soundtracks, beautiful worlds, numerous friends on this very site, and of course, the lovely treasure that is my partner. I may not have been with this franchise during the 90's, but it's given me just as much fun, nostalgia, and happiness as those who were. Despite the flawed titles, despite the fandom conundrums, I still love this series.

And I still love this absolute prick.

Crusher Gives Dr. Eggman a: TWO Thumbs Up!

#Sonic Villains: Sweet or Shite?#Opinion #Sonic the Hedgehog #Dr. Ivo Robotnik

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lyrazehedgieboiii · 5 years ago

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Hey Hedgie Squad! First of all, I’d like to say thank you to all of you for liking the things I post! I found that a lot of people liked my last post, and that made me really happy!!!!! Second of all, @bunnylass17 requested for #25, which would be photo. I really hope you like it! You are a huge inspiration to!

“Hi! What’s your name?” A cobalt hedgehog, with the eyes of emeralds asked.

“R-,” the pink girl stopped herself. This was someone new, he didn’t know her name...it’s best if he just called her by... “A-Amy. Amy Rose.” That’s much better. She didn’t want to be called by her childhood nickname. She wanted to be called by a much mature name. Her real name.

“Well, it’s nice to meetcha Amy! Say, do you know why Metal Me captured you? There’s always a reason behind why he does dumb stuff like that.” the child, who looked about 11, said with concern. The young girl fell in love immediately. ‘Amy’, jumped up, and tackled the blue stranger. He started struggling in her grasp, trying to squirm free.

“Can’t-...BREATHE!” Amy immediately let go, her ‘true love’ panting, as though he had just ran a marathon (which would be easy for him) After a few moments, Amy’s hero had stood back up, regaining his confident posture. “I’m-” His introduction was interrupted by the squeal of the little Rose in front of him.

“Sonic the Hedgehog! I’ve heard of you! My tarot cards told me that I’d be destined to meet you! So we’ll fall in love, get married, have children, grow old together, and be loved forever! Doesn’t that sound romantic, my hero?” Amy looked to her side and noticed that Sonic had zipped off, thinking that she was another one of his crazed fangirls. But little did he know...

“SONIC!” A 15 year old Sonic, whose name was called by his 12 year old friend, Amy Rose, was glomped from behind. He tried pulling her off, but gave up, as she had immense strength. He liked the attention Amy gave him, but her clingy actions, not so much. Amy let go, and he turned around to face her.

“Uhh...Hey, Ames. Nice to see ya!” Sonic exclaimed, hoping she wouldn’t unexpectedly glomp him again.

“Is everyone here?” Tails asked. He looked around, checking everyone off in his mind. “Okay then! Get ready!” Tails put the camera on a ten second timer, and hurried to his spot next to Knuckles. Amy clung onto Sonic’s arm, planting a kiss on his cheek as the camera flashed into the team’s eyes. Not only was Team Sonic in the picture, but Team Dark and Team Rose. The Chaotix were there as well. The picture was printed out so everyone got a copy. Amy hung it over her bed.

“So, I heard a specific someone was out on a date.” Sonic scowled at his petite pink friend. His quills had become a slight bit darker during the years, like a royal blue color. He had overheard Rouge talking to Cream about Amy going out with someone. That someone being Shadow. “What were you gonna do with Shadow?” Amy noticed how his voice seemed dark...

No...

He couldn’t be...

Jealous?..

“Sonic...Since when do you care about me going out with other people?” She could’ve sworn she saw red on his cheeks. To be honest, she was blushing the whole time because Sonic was leaning on the wall right next to her.

“I-I’m your friend, and it’s my job you don’t get heartbroken or hurt by anyone-”

“Like you used to all these years?!” Amy snapped. Both her and the blue hedgie looked shocked at her sudden and rude outburst. “I don’t like him, he just needed love advice for someone...” Amy turned her head down. Sonic’s glare was piercing through her pink head. Sonic’s finger went down to Amy’s chin, and lifted her face up. She was crying. Amy’s ears were flat against her head, and Sonic felt guilty. “I-I’m sorry, Sonic. I didn’t mean to...” Sonic bent down and brushed her lips against his. Amy’s face and ears went bright red.

Amy, being the stubborn hedgie that she was, pressed her lips onto Sonic’s roughly, as if it was the last thing they could ever do. Sonic happily returned the favor. He licked her lips, and she happily allowed entrance. As Sonic put his hands on her waist, the sound of a camera clicking could be heard. Sonic and Amy pulled away, their bodies tingling with excitement.

“GOT IT!” Tails yelled and his mouth was covered by Rouge and was tackled by Cream into the bush making sure they weren’t seen. Sonic and Amy sweatdropped at the stalkers in the bush.

“Who said that Sonic would propose within five months of dating?” Rouge asked, while all their friends dove into chocolate cake.

“Me!” Cream and Tails yelled simultaneously. Shadow and Knuckles groaned, taking out fifty mobiums from their wallets. Amy giggled.

“Couldn’t you have done it a bit later, faker?” Shadow grumbled.

“But Shadow! I would’ve proposed to Sonic if he’d waited a bit longer.” Amy said, stroking Sonic’s knuckles under the table.

“Wait, we had a bet for that, too! Who guessed that Amy’d propose first?” Silver asked. Everyone excluding Cream and Tails gave took their money out.

“This money is to convince Amy to get off of life control!” A drunk Vector cheered.

“Life control? Oh my Chaos, Amy are you dying?” Sonia, Sonic’s triplet sister asked.

“I think Vector meant birth control. But how do you know about that?” Amy asked, startled by Vector knowing a private fact.

“Oh, Sonic said how he’d been dying to have babies with you.” The crocodile hiccuped.

“Well, that urge can now be fulfilled! Make us nieces and nephews! Make a lot of’em!” Rouge exclaimed, handing a bag with the specific ‘necessities’ of a honeymoon. Amy turned red when she saw what was in the bag. Tomorrow night would sure be fun.

“I’M GOING TO F***ING KILL YOU FOR THIS, SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!!!” We move on, as we see Amy Rose the Hedgehog screaming into Sonic’s ear while she had contractions, and was struggling to push.

A child’s crying could be heard.

Amy looked over to her husband, who had fainted on the ground. He gave a thumbs up and said “Worth it.” Amy was given her child, and decided to go with a name similar to Sonic’s, but the name would depend on what the child looked like. A royal blue hedgehog with streaks of navy blue and indigo softly squeaked and nuzzled into Amy’s chest.

“Say cheese.” Amy smiled and looked up to see her friends all standing there, watching the new mother bond with her baby.

“Hey Ames! Where are you? I just put Blur to bed!~” Sonic said in a sing-song voice.

“I’m in the attic!” Amy yelled softly, making sure she didn’t wake her little hedgie up. Sonic’s head appeared through the attic door.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” He asked, as he laid next to his wife.

“I’m just looking at memories.” Amy showed him the album.

There was the photo from when they first met,

The photo celebrating their one-year anniversary as getting together as a team,

The photo of Sonic and Amy’s first real kiss,

The photo of Amy and Sonic being declared as bride and groom,

And the photo of Sonic and Amy’s first child.

Sonic knew for certain that there’d be many more photos to come.

“Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.”

Thanks for reading, I really hope you enjoyed! I tried to make this sound really descriptive, and tried to stay on the right path and not get carried away. If you want more prompts, DM me or ask me for something you want written because I can’t write canon stories if I tried. Again, thank you @bunnylass17 for giving me the prompt, you made me so happy!

#sonamy #sonamy through the ages #word prompt #sonamy prompts #sonamy fanfiction #sonamy fan #lyra ze hedgie boiii #sonic the hedgehog #amy rose #i tried my best #hope you like it #oneshot will be posted over the weekend

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onychaos · 7 years ago

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End to a ranting saga

So, it has been a long time coming. A end to this rant saga of the speedrunning community. It has been a year, and I want to get this off of my chest. I know what I want to say, and I have a lot to say. This will be my viewpoint, and how I feel towards the community now, as well as other things. This is my experience with the sonic speedrunning community

I should warn you that this is a serious post. as I plan to end this saga, with a bang.

Warning: While reading this post, do take this post with a grain of salt, I will throw shade and I do have my reasons for that. With that being said, let’s start the post.

Editor note: This is me ranting about things, since I really don’t like to use friends as a outlet. If this rant offends you, I’m sorry but It’s a rant. They are never nice, and do take this with a grain of salt. - May 10th

Speedrunning

I guess this is it, huh. To think, I saw my self ranting about this community but things change. As you all know, I made a few rants and talked about how I feel towards speedrunning. Most, if not all was mostly negative, but for good reason.

Speedrunning, I feel that speedrunning used to be a special thing. Back then, before it became a normal daily event. it was a simple hobby meant to see how well could you play a game as fast or beat the game within a time frame. Hell, it was something everyone or friends could for fun. You could speedrun, make new friends, learn how a game works.

Back then in 2013. Speedrunning was a special thing. Something I felt was going to get better… Past me was wrong. While drama was normally not in the speedrun circle I was in, I didn’t really start to see how shit things were, because, I was new to speedrunning, and I just went along with what others did. Pretty much, not having a opinion, following orders.

Not all speedrun communities are like this.

But, it was whatever, the community was “friendly”, if you followed along and I noticed that I became a white knight but it was making my ride in the community somewhat ok. I shallowed my pride and went with it. By doing this, I was both fortunately and unfortunately to meet new people within the Sonic speedrunning community and, on Twitch..

It was not till 2015 - 2016 where I saw a new wave of Sonic “Speedrunners” who are super competitive in speedrunning. This is where I started to see these new toxic runners and this made me slowly resent speedrunning and this feeling of resentment would slowly grow over the next 2 years.. This is, of course, the point where I started to have my own opinions of Sonic runners and their actions.

And, at the same time, this was when I sent after by that person’s white knight lackeys because you know… “Opinions are bad” but anywho, I think around mid 2016, I started to not care about speedrunning but then, I saw “friends” speedrunning and, somehow that sparked a weak flame to speedrun run again. But really didn’t enjoy it as much as I used to.

It’s really sad, I had many plans to speedrun with friends and others. I would love to had the chance to speedrun with friends and others. I mean, I could do that but there really is no longer a point to do these speedruns together. I get speedrunners want to get a good time or get a better time. That’s fine

But when, it’s for fun, the mood just dies. Maybe I am too optimistic, I may as well try to catch lighting in a bottle, it’s not gonna happen, unless hell freezes over then, I can keep dreaming, I suppose… Of a day, where we could just race a game for fun. (Sonic 4 all emeralds, while that was not the race I had in mind. It is close to my idea, at the very least. There may be some hope)

White knights and opinions in speedrunning

We all know what white knights are? Right? Ok to make this quick and simple. A white knight is a user that will rush to someone being attacked, this means that said white knight will rush to the aid of someone being attacked, chances are, they did something to earn this but the white knight will defend all their actions to win their favor. That was anything but quick and simple…

Well, you get a idea. I will be mentioning the Sonic Speedrunning Community, as it does house a number of white knights.

So, as I have said before “the Sonic speedrunning community was "friendly”, if you followed along" this is true from what I seen. Two streamers I watch, I noticed a habit and the effect it has.

Test Subject 1. - He seems to follow along with his fellow Sonic speedrunners and does whiteknight them from harm. Funny thing is… I think he knows that some of the shit they do is fucked up. And if, that is the case, it makes this issue much worse than I thought.

When 1 follows along like a puppet or a pawn with no opinions of other runners, the effect is that, more Sonic speedrunners come to him and, it’s awful cause this just gives the Idea. “if you are my friend, then you can do as you please. if, it does not effect me, go ahead.” Normally, I don’t care but I feel this just gives the impression that shit is ok.

And I noticed that the other streamer is not a white knight. Having a opinion of other runners or the community, and not following along seems to be disliked among the Sonic Speedrun community, I know I am talking about the Sonic Speedrun community, but this is a be all, end all rant.

Speedrunning has lost it’s value to me. But, this is just a me thing. I have to say this because, I know people will read this and go “Speedrunning has not lost all value. You are wrong for saying this” Sometimes, people don’t like to read, so I will be sure to make my comment in Bold :V

*RANT INCOMING*

// I want to get this off of my chest \

Before someone says “Don’t open old cuts” I want you to stop right there. This has been on my chest and GOD DAMN, I’m getting this off of my chest

I would like to mention one thing. So, when I had drama with a streamer who threw me under the bus. I went to said friend and made some jokes. But of course, when I made a “Fox season” joke. (Duck Season, Rabbit Season) Somehow, this joke was “inciting” a witch hunt…I swallowed my pride. But I feel that is total Bullshit. This was a simple joke. And the fact that you saw it as “inciting” A witch hunt, is BS.

“Fox Season” Mind you, this is a fucking thing. If you need, no, have to REACH to make a joke. Or what I said, sound like a attack on your friend, that’s pretty sad

I don’t even think it was the joke. Rather, you zero on me, because I made a post of your friend, and you assume I would Incite a Witch Hunt after your friend.

Look, there is protecting a friend, and then, there is being a white knight for someone. This is borderline white Knighting to me, so, it’s fine for them to fuck me over or throw me under the bus, send their lackeys after me, but because they are your friend, and you are in their circle, that makes it fine to do so? 2017. I took a lot of bullshit to the face. Dealt with a lot of Bull Shit and drama and getting fucked over.

There is a lot of shit I will take. Being called a asshole, I can speak my mind and my opinions may be hurtful, But don’t you GODDAMN tell me that I’m trying to incite a witch hunt, let alone assume anything negative about me. I draw the fucking line there when you start assuming negative about me.

That’s a fucking insult to me, and that is made worse to hear someone that you know for a few years, assume the worst of you, cause of a damn “joke” that had no ill will. But, whatever. I thank you. Because of mid to late 2017, I now know where I stand in this community or rather, I know where I stand with you and your “friends” So, this does help.

Look, let’s get your GODDAMN facts right. I don’t do “Witch Hunts” And do not Incite Witch Hunts. I tell my experience, so that someone else doesn’t have to suffer the same fate as me. Don’t you fucking confuse the two. Talking about a experience (Good or bad) vs. inciting a witch hunt. Are two fucking complete things.

So, before you white knight your friends from the “Big Bad Guy” again. Get your fucking facts straight before you assume shit about me.

No, i’m not ending any friendships over this shit. Because while this did hurt more than it should, Someone I looked up to, supported. It really does hurt to have them assume some about you after they known you for a while. It won’t end anything, but I will be keeping a distance from this person, but it makes sense, he knows them longer, by default, he will believe them and any facts or proof about them doing shady things. He turns a blind eye to it.

It’s funny. I wanted to believe that something was not true, but such a stupid Idea of mine. Something like that. Ha, it’s a silly for me to believe. It’s life, nothing will work out as you have planned. it’s whatever. You live and learn. Friends end up being a disappointment to you, one way or another.

I won’t mention who I am talking about. But I will say this, You have never made me mad. I never had a reason to be so mad at you.. I held you at such a high regard, knowing you wouldn’t disappoint me in the future… And I guess really, I’m not mad at him, just a bit disappointed, is all. That’s it, really. just disappointed, to be honest.

I said what I wanted to say that I didn’t say before. This is a rant.

*Rant done*

Speedrunning, friends, and livestreaming

I am a “speedrunner” I’m not good at it. And I don’t plan on it. and I know this will or may piss off some friends.

a. Livestreaming

Livestreaming is fun and having people to chat with is more fun. Streaming on twitch.tv and being “In” the speedrunning community before I disliked it. I made a lot of “friends” most of them are speedrunners, Nothing wrong with that. we are a small group of streamers / speedrunners. I notice habits that they have shown. Some I noticed tend to show support to speedrunners. I won’t say who.

Again, that’s fine. You like what you like. I won’t stop you. I am grateful that I have speedrunners as friends. And they do support me when I livestream speedruns… I know I can’t rely on speedrun friends because they want to do their own thing. They don’t want to watch a playthrough on Twitch.tv, they want to see speedruns

I guess, in a way. I really don’t ask friends for help. In a way. I envy these people who get support from their friends but at the same time… I don’t envy them at all. I’m weird.

I guess, in a way. I have a back up plan when I do quit speedruns. Look, I know people say that you can’t quit speedrunning, it doesn’t happen, It’s true to some point. But people say a lot of shit. Doesn’t make it true. People speedrun, because they want to.

Getting off topic… I will save this for later when I quit streaming in the future, but that won’t happen for a while. :P Or become a lone wolf in the future I guess. c:

Things I am not fond of in the Sonic Speedrun Community

I should say this, right now

Sonic Runners and/ or sonic members trying to silent opinions of others

People going behind others back to send their lackeys friends after them

Really do dislike people having this hive mindset

Really don’t like having to go along with the Sonic community to have them be friendly towards me.

I hate this mindset “If you are not friends with my friends, then we can’t be friends anymore”

Sonic runners who turning a blind eye or let some of this shit slide because that person is their friend :v

Sonic runners who are your friends but don’t have your back

But having friends who are speedrunners is good and bad.

You have a new point of view or a new outlook on things by knowing them. You can understand new things, rather that’s good or bad, is up to you.

By having friends as speedrunners, I saw a new outlook on life and things. I had laughs, good times

But on the other side of coin. I seen drama from friends that made me keep my distance

I seen how they can be, made me question, if I made a right choice or not.

But for this, the good outweigh the bad, just by a bit. :P

The end of a saga…

So, I guess, this is where I tell you how I really feel about speedrunning. I still resent speedrunning, is what, I would have said. As I wrote this I started to have different thoughts… It dawned on me. I didn’t resent speedrunning but rather, I have resentment towards the Sonic Speedrun Community.

It used to be my home, If I had no opinion and followed along, it would be a friendly place for me to stay but I choose to not follow along, I choose to have opinions of others, I choose to not be some sheep. But this was the main reason why “Sonikmage” or “Soniksama” is gone, This is the reason why all my ties have been cut with the Sonic Speedrun Community members.

I guess in someway, this was bound to happen. While, I am disappointed on how things turned out. I did learn a few things. I guess, to end on this note. I did have “good times” when I was apart of this community. Made some questionable fake acquaintances, made some good friends, lost some “friends” when I changed from “Sonik” to “OnyChaos”. I feel losing those friends, I’m better off without them.

My final note on speedrunning

Speedrunning of late has changed, for the worst, It used to be about going to see how fast you can go in a game and improving one’s time while having fun with friends, and even with strangers.

The environment was friendly and welcoming, you can or could have fun speedrunning, but now, the speedrun environment has become a toxic and unwelcoming environment, in my eyes. all the In-fighting or all this backstabbing in the community or ton of drama that spreads about useless shit, people getting offended over things and shit, friendships coming and going before they can fucking start.

Oh, I hear you now. “Well, you don’t need to be in a community” I don’t, but then, what would the point be than? Being a part of a community is suppose to feel like a home away from home. A place where you could escape life for a bit and talk with your friends and escape bullshit and drama. A area where you could relax from life, even if it is a short haven.

No one seems to try to have fun in the Sonic speedrun community, I can’t blame them, it’s a toxic environment that rewards those who are super competitive and only want to be number one. I used to be like them but i saw what was speedrunning doing to me. Speedrunning can be fun, if you speedrun with friends.

I will not deny that, the Sonic Community, and speedrunning Community has done a lot. They have done some good. I want to get this out the way cause I know someone will read this and get offended. :v

I guess the real take away from this is… Speedrunning is fun to do. It can be a blast. Just don’t put all your time into one community or it will blow up in your face. And don’t be shocked if some acquaintances cut ties with you in the future. I still like speedrunning. But the way I view speedrunning, is in a negative light.. Is that fair? No.

End of the Saga to Sonic speedrunning community ranting…

It’s now over… A community I was in, supported through thick and thin by whatever means, and cheered on, when it was the underdog. The Sonic Community, a place I did see as my home away from home, when I was “Apart” of it. Now, the Sonic speedrun community, a community, I now resent. How things have changed. Something I used to love and cared for, now I resent it with a passion…

Hey… If you somehow made it to the end of this long ass rant and did not get offended / mad or disappointed at this rant. Well done. You get a Sonic 4 Any% race. it’s May. Everything I have bottled up from 2016 - 2017 and up to now, was dumped into this massive rant.

As I write this. I feel like giving the Sonic Community one last chance. But I doubt my impressions towards them will be changed. hey, anything can happen, I suppose… Not gonna unblock them though :x

I am still grateful for the friends i have made and still have now. And while I don’t always agree with them on some matters or choices, I do respect them and still grateful of them sticking with me, during my rants.

if this rant somehow is the one to break the camel’s back to end the friendship with me, I guess it will show me where I stand with them, I suppose, it was meant to end. :v

Ony~

P.S You know who you are. I would not do it, if I were you. >_>

#rant #may #ranting #personal #Venting #sonic speedrunning

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