#because we deserve a place to express ourselves and our love for characters without a shitty judgemental op

[rouge-the-bat]

u know what. if ur queer or an ally, reblog with ur labels (no matter how out there! we love and appreciate everyones personal identities here!) and your fave sonic character with why theyre your fave!!

[emisue-khaleesi]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLA🐞👑🌈💖

✨25✨

Dear Ella,

Happy Birthday! I hope you enjoy your day today and just full with love and happiness! So I WISH TO YOU THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER because you deserve the entire world! 25 YAAYY!🐞 We saw you growth and we grow with you! We watched you grow and glow and since i met you, you became in my inspiration..and i have no words to describe how much you mean for me and how much you did for me, but you are our inspiration that reason that we have to keep standing! We fall in love with you and with the person you are, how cool talented and beautiful you are, thank you for being the best role model and Idol ever! We would choose you over anyone, anytime, anyplace! We love you with all of our hearts and soul, Idol forever and ever, you are the best mirror where we can look up! Ella -Forevermore!

I'm so proud to call me your fan, to call me a BUG! Thanks for always hold us, taking such good care of us and being the best inspiration! YOU ARE A LIGHT IN THIS WORLD! LOVE YOU FOREVERMORE! I could spent the whole day writing a lot of thanks to you.. so Thanks for literally everything: You are pure magic and a sunshine and all of the good things in human form. Your talent, your music (Triptych Supremacy! It sabes me everyday)..Thanks for the way you are, you are a fascinating and inspiring person; glorious, extraodinary and beautiful. I Just can't express with words How much i love you and How much grateful I am for you, because We truly stan the correct Queen, the only one who always make support and make the world a better place to live in, thanks to you the world is worth it 'cause you truly make the difference! The world need more people like you, you are the most precious and beautiful human being on the entire universe! Ella you are of a purity that I wonder what the hell has humanity done to deserve you..and unfortunately it is a question that there is no answer; so have you in the world that’s all we need because you are the best Inspiration ever!

Ella thanks for your characters Anna, Cressida, Alex, Kat, Dana, Alice x 2, Ellie..and of course for Sue! Sue -Forevermore, we have all grown and liberated thanks to her, just thanks for make with us the BEST journey ever througth your Sue!🛐Thanks, You're always a sunshine, a Light, Beautiful, Wonderful, Funny, multi Talented, Self -opened, Strong, Cat Lover, Brave, Inspirational, Queer Icon, Magic, Art, Poetry, a Genius, Empowered...And It feels the best to stan and support someone who just connects with what you are, and nothing can compare to that! It' something so special and beyond, because you make us strongers and happiers everyday; because thanks to you, you freed us, allowed us to be our happiest, queerest, free-es, loveliest self and empowered! Thanks to this We are not repressed and afraid anymore, We are stepping into what we want for our life, queerness, freedom.. into what we want for ourselves and allowing ourselves to be who we want to be and love who we want to love. And all of this things are so important and We have reach them only thanks to you! Thank you dear Ella, for every solace! You always light up our entire world and make the difference! WE ARE THE MOST PROUD OF YOU! VERY IN LOVE AND VERY IN AWE WITH YOU!

On another hand I also have to make a special mention to thank you for the whole Closer experience, the person who said "never meet your heroes" didn't have the pleasure to meet you! Literally the sweetest human being ever & the best inspiration! And living your theatre debut as Alice Ayres in Closer will be always Iconic and indescribable, you are a goddess Theatre, literally Queen of all the disciplines!

Thank you Queen Bug! We are still shaking and fainting *Proudests and happiests* ! What an indescribable feelings... I'm still without believing it and I have no words to describe the experience and all the feelings.. just THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING! Thank you for letting us be part of your dream and made possible ours. My twin sis and me saw you on August 12 & 13 (last day of the show omg) and we went from Spain to London just to see you and seeing you shine and steal the stage in your performance and seeing you after the show at the bar has been the best experience you could have given us! We will never forget it and being a part of it makes us feel completely fulfilled Forevermore! Really, we are truly infinitely glad to have had the bless to see you and meet you after shows; so proud and happy to had be able to enjoy your super talent on your stage theatre debut, your whole performance OMG what a trip of feelings and hear you singing in live and how you felt the songs and how you made us feel everything you felt.. OMG your voice Is beyond and your act skills too! I'm still shaking, what a Dream! You are beyond talented! (a Super Star and a Theatre Goddess yas!)

DREAMS COME TRUE! Ella, your talent on stage and your soul off stage is truly beyond and I'm so proud to have been there supporting you in your theatre debut and showing our love and admiration because you deserve everything and more, thanks for make this experience possible! I can never be thankful enough! LOVE YOU FOREVERMORE! BUGS FOREVERMORE!

I mean.. also being able to enjoy your beautiful soul and love to us off stage and the fact that we had the opportunity to have show you our support, love, gratitude and admiration was everything because you truly deserve the whole world, you are the sweetest and best Icon ever! The fact that I met you and hugged you.. OMG I still without knowing how I survived and I'm still without believing it! Thanks for meet us twice after show in the bar, for your love, for the bond you make with every bug, for be like a friend, for make us feel special and comfortables, for every laught and little conversations, for your naturalness and precious soul, for *the matching moment*, thanks for your wonderful smile, for your shiny gaze.. the signs, pictures, *the silly selfie*, for your charm, for your hugs...*omgg those hugss* truly a safe place and the warmest hugs ever, pure Heaven and healing, best feeling ever.. *you are HOME* thanks for make true the best experience of our life and made real our biggest dream, you are truly the best Icon and Inspiration ever and the most beautiful human that ever existed! (+ I hope you enjoyed the gifts, the florence bouquet that we sent to you on July 30 '22 and the ones of the day we met: the typical spanish baked goods "sobaditos", the purple punk bracalet, the letters, the draw and the little bug teddy in the rainbow bag! And sorry for the weirdness and lack of speech, i was fainting and it was like I forgot my english and i knew that it was going to happen so i was even glader that i wrote to you the letter i gave you that night where i express all my feelings and admiration!)

I repeat DREAMS COME TRUE thanks to you Queen Bug! Thanks for shared your inexhaustible talent on stage and your beautiful soul off stage! We are going to miss so much Alice, our Cotton Candy Haired Goddess! Thanks for everything! We Will be forever in Heaven now after that whole experience, I Will never forget it, those two days, one at night and the other at noon, 12 & 13.08.22 BEST days of my life! Thanks again Ella, you are simply the most wonderful human ever, no one can compares to you! You are the best ever and i'm so proud, happy & grateful for having been able to be with you in your theatre debut supporting you and showing my love, gratefulness and admiration to you, that is all I needed to make you feel all of that love... Gosh! I'm still without believing It! What a dream, seeing you twice and one of them in your last day of show and to be able to meet you twice too and hug you four times in two days OMG best feeling ever, most beautiful hugs ever..i got healed.. that warm...a Home a Safe place..Heaven! I say thanks again for make it possible Queen Bug! You are best person in the world, the sweetest, specialest, uniquest, the most charming and beautiful, the best inspiration and Icon, all the good things in human form, an angel and the best Idol ever, thanks for everything! DREAMS COME TRUE..but It was better than in my dreams, I'll be forever happy and in Heaven now! Thanks Ella for everything, for make this experience possible and for be the best Queen ever! I Will never can be as much grateful as you deserve! Being a Bug and having you as an Inspiration is truly the best thing ever! YAS! Dreams come true thanks to you Ella! Bugs Forevermore! Love you Forevermore!

Again: WE PRAISE FOR ELLA HUNT SUPREMACY! YAS!Thank you for being who you are and for the light you bring to this world: You can light up the darkest places! You have the biggest heart in the universe and you make the world a safer place for all of us! THANKS ONE MORE TIME! LOVE YOU! BUGS FOREVERMORE! THANKS THANKS THANKS! Words can't describe how much you mean to us and how much you inspire us! So I'm so glad that on this letter you could feel all of this! YOUR BUGS ARE HERE FOR YOU FOREVERMORE! HAPPY 25 BIRTHDAY! You deserve the entire world Ella Ella!🐞🌈👑

>And all the good things are about to still coming and we Will be always here for cheer you Up and for still supporting you! *We can't wait for what is coming and I can't wait to see you in Horizon and the success you are going to achieve because you are going to kill It like everything you do AAAH* HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEEN BUG!<

From Patricia.

+Celebrating @EllaHunt 25 birthday with these custom Alice-Ella funkos, (by me & my sister) 'cause going to see u in Closer was the best experience of our lives! Dreams Come True! Thaks for made It possible #Closer 12 & 13, 08, 22 DREAMS COME TRUE ✨ You are the best, an angel, the best Idol & Inspiration ever & you deserve everything! Love u Forevermore, Bugs Forevermore! Now Ill be Happy & in Heaven always! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ELLA!🐞👑🌈💖

[celestialnxva]

Midnight Melodies

Steve Rogers x Reader

can be read as platonic or romantic !

Summary: The Avengers compound was always quiet every night, except for this one.

Warnings: Angst, death mention, hurt/comfort, mental health institutions, hallucinations, can induce dereality. reader has schizophrenia.

wc: 2k+ words

a/n: this is one of my many fics that will cover mental disorders that aren’t talked about and demonized. this is my way as someone with aspd to normalize mental health in fics and do not have problematic themes written into it. we deserve to feel seen, normalized and validated; not by these characters, but by our abilities to fight these battles ourselves.

marvel masterlist. | main masterlist.

⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀❦ ❦ ❦

After Tony died, everyone was a mess. Even though you won against Thanos and everyone who had been gone for five years finally came back, you all knew that life without Tony was emptier than it should. Everyone felt this way, but you took his death the hardest.

Your childhood best friend was gone and there was no way to console you. Your other friends tried, but you felt like your life crumbled the moment the light of life left his eyes. You cried and cried over his body, hoping that someone would intervene and bring him back too. People had to pull you away from him and you kicked and screamed in agony, incoherently pleading with everyone to bring him back to life. The sight of your tortured mind especially broke Pepper’s heart, as she loved you like you were her sibling.

As Steve and Sam dragged you away, the hope and happiness you once had disappeared with Tony’s last breath.

The next thing you knew, you were being whisked away to a psychiatric hospital due to your outburst. You couldn’t blame your team for being that worried, but when you found out that you would be missing Tony’s funeral, you sobbed and screamed at them, feeling whatever was left of your trust for them dissipate in front of them. Stephen was particularly saddened to see his dear friend process the most traumatic experience of their life. It was a terrifying time for the other Avengers, as they were scared to know if you will ever go back to ‘normal.’

Of course, hearing people express their sentiments in this way angered Bucky, as he knew first hand on what it was like to recover from all the trauma he himself experienced with Hydra. Steve and the others listened in shock when Bucky uncharacteristically yelled at them to reconsider the way they see this situation. After the big fight, the Avengers, like Bucky, left to live their own lives. The only one who stayed at the newly built Compound was Steve, and he sometimes had Rhodey’s company when he visited.

Even if it was lonely, Steve wanted to stay. He thought about going back to live his life with Peggy when he placed back all the Time Stones into their respective locations, but with how everyone had mixed reactions about your condition, he would not forgive himself if he left you all alone after you come back from the hospital.

So, he stayed in the large facility all on his own, until Steve had been informed that you were able to be discharged from the hospital the next day. The entire day, he had spent buying welcome gifts and extra supplies to make you feel safe and at home with him. He didn’t know what to expect from you after being away for so long, but he hoped that he could support you in any way he can.

To your request, Rhodey traveled all the way to your hospital to pick you up and personally take you to the Compound. On the way, you asked him to stop by for cheeseburgers in the same fast food restaurant you all used to go to with Tony. With the mental state you were in now, he trusted your decision and allowed you to eat on the way there. From the way you devoured your meal, he could tell that you did not eat as much as the doctors wanted you to. Seeing you like this hurt Rhodey more than you knew, but throughout it all, he stayed strong because he knew that Tony would’ve wanted him to support his dear friend.

When you finally arrived, Steve was already outside with a singular sunflower in his hand. He held the same gentle smile he always reserved for you as you got out of the car. Even with all that you’ve been through together, he still cared about you with his entire heart. You were the only one who made him feel better about being out of his time the first time he woke up from the ice. Perhaps that was why he decided to stay: to help you the same way you helped him.

“Welcome back, (y/n),” he said softly, offering his hand for you to take it. Your broken eyes stared up at him, wary of his motivations. Just to reassure you, he offered you the flower as well. “Here, sunflowers represent cheerfulness and optimism,” he explained while his voice stayed gentle and careful. You assessed him for a moment to see if he was lying, but you only saw the same earnest eyes you’ve always adored. With that, you smiled faintly and took the sunflower with one hand while you placed your hand over his hand. When your hands touched, you inhaled sharply at the feeling of electricity running down your spine. Steve must have felt it too, since his grip on your hand momentarily tightened. Daringly, your eyes looked up at him from behind your eyelashes to see his reaction. When the two of you made eye contact, you stopped breathing, taking in the sight of the tenderness in his eyes that he always held for you.

Seeing the two of you now, Rhodey knew right away what was going on. Instead of heading inside with you like he planned, he cleared his throat to get your attention. Your eyelashes fluttered shut before you looked at your friend. He smiled.

“I’ll be heading out. Steve will take good care of ya while you get readjusted to life again,” he said before he got in his car and drove away. When his car disappeared in the distance, you finally turned to face Steve. He firmly held onto your hand before he guided you inside.

Since that day, you had stayed with Steve for weeks now. Even if you were technically ready to work again and get your own place, you still felt numb and needed someone to accompany you. It started out with constant hand holding on his end, but you two had upgraded to him respectfully sleeping beside you. You desperately needed to feel safe in someone’s company due to you being isolated from everyone for an entire month. He was more than happy to provide, always making sure that you were comfortable with what he had to offer.

But as the two of you stayed longer in each other’s company, you two had gotten significantly closer than you were before. With you being more vulnerable than usual, you were more compelled to tell Steve a lot more about your life than you did before and for that, he was grateful. He found you to be a beautiful soul despite all that you’ve been through. He knew how much Tony meant to you, but when you looked at him, he saw a small glimmer of hope hidden deep in your eyes. When he saw it, he felt proud of you for healing all on your own. All he had to do was be there for support.

You had grown comfortable in the silence of the Compound, but for some reason, you weren’t able to sleep tonight. Perhaps it was because you had remembered that Tony was gone from your life, and the silence of the compound unnerved you. You look over to see Steve sleeping peacefully bedside you. You didn’t have the heart to wake him up, so you decided to carefully get out of bed to go to the common room.

Out of all the places in the building, you loved the common room because of the beautiful grand piano nestled into the corner of the room. You haven’t played on that piano in a while, so now seemed like a great time to play it again.

Moving towards the bench, you opened the fallboard and sure enough, the keys were dusty. Closing your eyes, you used your magick to tune the piano and bring the piano back to its original state of beauty. With an elegant glissando from the lowest key to the top, the piano came to life and greeted you with a happy jig. You smiled warmly for the first time in months and sat down to play.

What exactly could you remember from before the events of Thanos? It seemed like yesterday when the Avengers fought against Thanos and dusted. It was hard to rummage through your messy brain to find one singular song to play when you’ve recently went through the most physically tolling mental breakdown. Naturally.

It was hard to find one, but you didn’t want to give up. A few more minutes to think of one, it suddenly came to your mind. It was a beautiful piece from a movie that you and Tony decided to watch because you two just loved watching crappy romance movies together. Though the thought of Tony made you almost sob again, you chose instead to place your hands on the keyboard and start playing what you know by heart. You made sure not to fail because you wouldn’t want to annoy Tony with ugly playing.

‘Ah, that song. Why’d you pick that one? Couldn’t you have picked some chick flick like Pretty in Pink?’ he asked you with a teasing chuckle. The past few weeks have been lovely, as Tony’s voice had comforted you through all the pain you’ve been through. The doctor labeled you as something medical-sounding without trying to call you insane, but just didn’t really care. At least Tony will still be a part of your life. Blessings can be in disguise.

You held a small conversation with him while you played, your beautiful expression echoing throughout the entire compound. The sound was so heartfelt that it even woke Steve up from his slumber.

Steve blinked wearily in confusion, wondering why he felt cold bedsheets beside him instead of your warm waist. Because of everything he had been through, his heart beat faster in his chest with anxiety. Did something happen? Did you get kidnapped or hurt? Can he keep you safe and happy? All these questions drove him mad, so he decided to fully wake himself up to find out where the noise was coming from.

More alert this time, Steve checked each room he passed by, trying to find where you were. You weren't in the kitchen, nor in any of the spare bedrooms. You weren't in the briefing room either. Once he checked most rooms in the compound, he leaned against the table and rubbed his forehead. He could still hear the music playing faintly in the background while he thought about where you could be. When it hit him, it was when he realized that the music playing was you.

Jogging across the compound to the common room, where he knew that there was a piano there to play on. He never knew how, but the thought of you playing an instrument so unused by the Avengers brought warmth in his heart. You really were a gentle soul when someone gets to know you.

When he finally reached the common room, he decided to stop himself from going inside the room. Instead, he leaned against the door frame and watched your fingers dance on the keys as if they were flittering butterflies. The way you played was beautiful, yet sad, as those same fingers almost seemed to drag with each new placement. It was then when he remembered that he was stuck in the past and that you were a little bit different now. It wasn't bad, but he knew you were going to come out of this trauma as a changed person, and you already did. It broke his heart to see you so sad, but he knew that now was the right time to accompany you.

He walked in slowly and watched as you started to laugh to yourself. You were quietly cracking jokes and leaning back to relish in the beauty of the music you were playing. He gathered that you must have been talking to Tony right now. He can wait. He waited until you finished playing. When he saw that your face fell from being met with silence, he decided to make his presence known to you with a soft hum.

Quickly, you turned towards where the sound came from and your panicked eyes met Steve's gentle ones. You let out a sigh of relief and moved your gaze back at the keys in front of you. So it seems that your fear of someone watching you while you played was actually true. You wondered why Steve would bother waking up this late in the evening. He must be tired from all his meetings with Hawkeye or whoever else he was still in touch with. Your curiosity got the best of you and you turned to where he was now standing and pursed your lips in thought.

He interrupted you politely and walked over to you. "Don't worry about me. I just wanted to check to see where you were." His smile widened in amusement. "When you're met with cold bedsheets beside you, you're naturally going to find where your partner has gone to," he mused which caused you to chuckle lightly. When your eyes turned back to the keyboard, he sat down beside you on the bench. For a moment, you two sat in silence, feeding off the comfort for each other before he spoke up.

"Will you play it again? It was beautiful," he asked before he sheepishly fiddled with one of the keys. You looked at him in surprise and he met your gaze with one of nostalgia. "It seems like a song I've heard before. Reminds me of the old days when I was still with Peggy and the rest," he said sadly before he looked back in shame. He doesn't like bringing up the past, especially with someone who was grieving like you. He felt that his stories were too selfish to tell, but you thought otherwise. They were always fantastical and inspiring. He should know that. He needed to know that. Maybe you should listen to Tony's advice right now.

You rest your head against his shoulder comfortingly, feeling his muscles tense in return. You knew he was touch starved, and you were too. There was no room for judgment. There never was between you two. Steve slowly placed his hand to wrap around your waist. He cared for you deeply and just wanted you to be okay.

Perhaps he won't admit to you yet that your company was something that he desperately needed as a man completely out of his time. But maybe you knew that already. Maybe you knew that fact and was the reason why you felt compelled to play the song again. Tony's voice and the other hallucinations seemed to quiet down for now while you played in Steve's company. You know those feelings would come back, that you will be stuck floating in a world that you cannot seem to fathom anymore. But for now, the feeling of Steve beside you and your fingers pressing comfortingly down on the brand new keys symbolized more than hope for you.

It meant that you were going to be okay. You were going to be okay.

———

general taglist: @venomsvl @v0idl1nq

[clownpainted]

okay  folks ,  listen  up :      so ,  it’s  2022.  the  world  is  in  shambles ,  the  economy?  forget  about  it.  mental  health?  we’ve  never  met  her ,  only  illness.  major  historical  events?  lived  through  too  many  of  them.  and  we  all  come  here  to  this  hellsite  to  escape.  to  take  pieces  of  media  we  love  or  create  on  our  own ,  and  express  ourselves  using  a  common  interest  that  bands  us  together.  to  meet  likeminded  individuals  who  geek  the  fuck  out  over  shit  that  would  make  some  people  in  our  outside  lives  look  at  us  differently.  everyone’s  story  is  different.  we’re  all  going  through  things  or  have  been  through  things  or  unfortunately  may  go  through  things  where  creating  on  tumblr  is  a   fun ,  cathartic  hobby.

it’s  a   community   where  people  are  supposed  to  come  together  and  create  together ,  uplift  one  another ,  support  each  other.  but  the  more  i  look  at  the  state  of  the  rpc  in  my  ten  years  here  on  tumblr ,  the  more  i  see  a  toxic  cesspool.  i  see  a  disease  that  has  begun  at  some  point  and  spread.  sometimes  slowly ,  sometimes  all  at  once.  but  it  has  wrecked  havoc  on  something  meant  to  be   enjoyable.   it  has  created  an  environment  where  i  would  safely  assume  over  half  of  us  have  sustained  psychic  damage  from  in  some  sort  of  way.  that’s  not  okay ,  that’s  not  normal.   nothing  about  that  is  acceptable.

we’ve  come  to  a  point  where  we  witness  countless  people   lose  the  ability   to  cultivate  safe ,  comfortable  places  for  themselves.  we  see  people   use   other  human  beings  for  faces  /  characters  they  write–––  and  when  they’re  no  longer  of  use  because  another  arrives  or  what  have  you–––  that  human  be  tossed  aside  like  there’s  not  a   real  person   with   real  feelings   on  the  other  side  of  the  screen.  we  see  people  hide  behind  an  anonymous  means  to  contact  others  for  the  sole  purpose  of   hurting  others.   we  see  people  tend  to  real  life  obligations  or  just  simply  not  be  around  for  a  while  regularly  posting  at  a  high  activity  be   treated  like  trash ,   like  this  is  a  job  and  they  didn’t  show  up  for  a  shift.   we  see  so  much  unnecessary  bullshit.

i  want  to  try  and  get  a  message  across  here.  the  rpc  will  never  be  a  pristine ,  flawless  place  where  everything  is  rainbows  and  sunshine.  it  never  has  been  and  never  will  be.  but  at  this  point  i  feel  that  it’s  important  to   try.   try  to  do  your  part.  try  to  come  together  and  create  wonderful  works  of  art  through  words.  try  to  lift  one  another  up.  try  to  support  the  people  close  to  you  and  strangers  alike.  keep  in  mind  though  that  you  also  need  to  check  in  with   yourself.

be  kind  to  yourself  without  compromise.   keep  trying  to  cultivate  that  safe  space  for  yourself  even  if  it  means  instating  rules  that  others  may  consider  ‘ elitist ’ ,  ‘ cliquey ’ ,  or  ‘ petty ’  if  it  means  when  you  log  onto  tumblr  dot  com  you  can  feel  some  semblance  of  peace ,  enjoyment ,  and  most  of  all–––  happiness.  do  whatever  it  takes  to  make  sure  that  you  still  feel  those  sparks  of  joy  about  your  character(s)  and  your  blog  and  your  community  that  made  you  do  this  in  the  first  place.

i  just  want  you  to  know  that  if  you’ve  made  it  this  far  down  this  long–winded  piece  with  interest  still  piqued  and  haven’t  rolled  your  eyes  or  moved  on ,   you’re  part  of  the  solution.   you  are  a  good  person  who  deserves  good  things.  you’re  wonderful  and  you  bring  joy  to  everyone  around  you  by  being  you.  you  are  so  capable  and  loved ,  so  talented  and  admired.  

be  kind  to  others.  be  kind  to  yourself.  spread  no  hate ,  but  take  no  shit.   in  the  end ,  if  you’re  doing  your  part  by  trying  every  day ,  how  someone  negatively  views  you  on  this  site  does  not  determine  your  validity  as  a  writer ,  an  artist ,  a  creator ,  or  a  human  being.  it  only  speaks  volumes  about  them.

[bigskydreaming]

Hi, I was reading your post about Jason punching Dick in the face when Dick revealed he fake his death was bullshit ( which it was) and it reminded me of an issue/question that has bothered me for sometime.

Why did people believe Dick was actually dead?

I’m not the most avid comic reader so maybe I missed something but it was always weird to me that everyone just accepted this especially given how Bruce was acting or should I say wasn’t acting.

This is a man when his child died another child had to come along and told him sir you are being too violent and emotional you need supervision. When his other child died he went all over the universe to bring him back to life because he knew it was possible ( which was happening at the same time), so why didn’t anyone think it was weird he wasn’t doing that for Dick. Can you imagine Dick really dying that soon after Damian it would be injustice Batman Version. You are telling me that Tim, Jason or Barbara didn’t think it was weird that Bruce didn’t also bring Dick’s corpse to the bring Damian back to life mission or mention it to themselves. Like what more likely Dick dead and Bruce is handling it well or that he fake his death to do something stupid and Dangerous after his partner/brother/ little bit my son the feelings are complicated died after he was knocked out and woke up to his corpse.

Oh man, this is like, the entire nature of my beef?

(Slight derail just to emphasize the fact real quick that Dick DID actually die, he was just revived quickly, but like, the trauma of his death was very real and its not like anyone was clued into Luthor having a resurrection backdoor built into his literal murder of Dick in the actual moment of it happening. So Dick’s death wasn’t fake, and additionally, he didn’t have anything to do with like, telling people about it, because he was literally comatose in the cave and recovering while Bruce was telling people....by the time Dick woke up in the cave, we already know that Alfred at least had already been convinced by Bruce that Dick was dead, so I have a kneejerk need to pushback against the Dick faked his death narrative by reminding people wherever possible that Dick had no agency in the spreading of that narrative. 

It happened without him being involved, and the only actual contribution he ever made to it was just not revealing he was alive before Grayson #12, after Bruce like.....emotionally, mentally and physically badgered him into accepting that doing so would be directly harmful to his family and he didn’t want to be the reason more people died when like, people had just died because he ‘let’ himself be captured and interrogated by Power Woman’s Lasso of Submission, did he?

SORRY TO BE PEDANTIC, just wanted to start this off on a clarification, even though I know the aim of your ask was very much in tune with the rest of my response. A lot of people don’t read the actual comics, so like, I’m never gonna skip over an opportunity to emphasize that the shorthand people use to refer to Dick’s death and the year he was with Spyral, is like, literally just shorthand for describing it. Its not actually an accurate description of how all that went down and who had the most hand in it).

BUT ANYWAY. BACK TO THE MEAT OF THE BEEF.

Okay so like, not only was the entire family and Bruce himself giving Dick shit for his death and Spyral, like, PAINFULLY egregious because it was literal victim blaming in every possible sense of the word....

None of it made a LICK of sense with ANY of their characterizations, and they ONLY all accepted it on face value because the Plot Demanded It, and when you're like, no, as a reader I say The Plot Demanded It is not a good enough reason for me to be like well sure, that makes sense......looking at the characters ACTUAL actions at face value pretty much just makes them all look like assholes?

Like, Tim has never gracefully accepted anyone's death. Ever. This is core characterization for him. He will go to the ends of the earth for his loved ones and to bring them back, prove they're not dead, refuse to let death be the final verdict for them. He was tempted to use the Lazarus Pit to bring his parents back to life. He refused to accept Bruce was dead long before he had any proof whatsoever of that theory. He tried to clone his BFF/future-husband Kon in his fucking basement like, dude was two whole inches away from going Full Dark Side in his quest to bring back a lost loved one no matter WHAT the cost.....and then you've got Dick unmasked onscreen, killed offscreen, and Bruce then reporting to the rest of them with zero inflection 'oh Dick's dead now. Its very sad' and Tim's just like, sure. Sounds legit.

I mean?!?!

And you're SO RIGHT ABOUT THE DAMIAN THING! Bruce LITERALLY LITERALLY LITERALLY went BEYOND the ends of the Earth, like, he full on chartered a fucking space ship to fly his whole family out to APOKOLIPS to bring Damian back from the dead by going to EXTREME lengths.....WHILE everyone else thought Dick was dead....

And not a single person looked at Bruce and was like, okay, not that we're not down to do this for Damian because we miss Stabby Smurf something fierce ourselves, but.....what the fuck is UP with you dude? Why aren't you displaying ANY hint of this same kind of energy in regards to your eldest son that you said you watched die right in front of you?

Like....I don't know that we were actually ever told that Dick's coffin was empty or had a fake in it, but like....this family of detectives who refuse to accept death, defy death, COME BACK FROM THE DEAD....not a single one of them said like, okay, if I'm gonna like, ACCEPT accept that Dick is dead and gone for good, I need to at least just see him one last time? That's literally all it would have taken for someone to realize hey something's a little wonky here. Where's the dead body, Pops?

Since when has Jason ever missed an opportunity to prove Bruce is a) full of shit, b) acting like an emotionless robot and all his kids deserve better especially when they've just like....died, c) just factually incorrect and wrong and jumped to a conclusion before it was conclusively proved, d) lying like a liar or e) all of the above?

Nobody even ASKED if Dick's body could be put in a Lazarus Pit? Yeah, Jason wouldn't necessarily recommend it himself, given what it put him through, but actually fuck that, I take that back, because I'm NOT actually of the opinion that Jason full on hates his life and actively spends every second of every day wishing he hadn't been resurrected, even if it had come with a huge buffet of additional trauma and pain.

And that's kinda what's implied when people just take it for granted that he would never be on board with any scenario involving using a Lazarus Pit to bring Dick back, because it suggests that based even just on his own experiences and feelings, he honestly believes Dick would prefer being dead and not have ANY further opportunities to be with his loved ones, his friends, help save the damn world again at some future point.....that Jason, projecting based just off himself, legit feels Dick would rather be dead than have another shot at life even WITH the downsides of Lazarus Pit usage? Nope. Sorry, I don't buy it.

Speaking of not buying it.....you know what was missing from all those soliloquies the others monologued at Dick about how they felt and were hurt and just devastated by his death, to such a point they can't seem to muster a single shred of happiness that he's NOT dead still -

(seriously, Damian was the ONLY person in ALL THE LANDS OF EMOTION-HAVING who expressed ANY kind of positive reaction to having Dick back. We were so fucking cheated of like.....ANY opportunity to have the characters show just how much they valued him by just being fucking HAPPY he was alive, no matter what else was involved....and then most of fandom compounded that by for years being like mmmm, no, Dick didn't get yelled at enough by his family for what HE put THEM through. Needs more yelling. More punching too. Bad Dick. Bad. This is the only way you'll learn not to die and get shipped off on a mission that you don't want but at least is to protect your family after being beaten into it by your dad whilst victim blaming you for dying in the first place. WHEN WILL YOU LEARN TO THINK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR FEELINGS FOR A CHANGE, DICK?!?)

- But like, BUT I DIGRESS aside....you know what was missing from all those monologues about how hard DICK'S death and ensuing year of basically exile from his loved ones was for EVERYONE BUT HIM?

We never got a single line of explanation as to what everyone else officially thinks even happened to him in the first place?

Like, did Bruce straight up just say oh bad news kids, your brother umm. Expired. Spontaneously. There's no one to blame, he just keeled over, its all very sad.

Is that how that went down?

You're telling me that the explanation of Dick's death didn't come with a single pointed finger at someone for this family of blame-happy vigilantes to like, BLAME for the loss of this brother they all mourned oh so much, they just couldn't help but blame him for all the hurt it caused them?

The family that in every other fic is like OBSESSED with avenging and being avenged and all things vengeful and even tangentially vengeance-y....like didn't ask for a single detail on whomst the fuck deprived us of our brother-having?

Where were the attempts on Luthor's life by Jason (who I mean, yeah I know it was in a previous continuity, but erasing that timeline doesn't erase my awareness of the time Dick killed Jason's murderer so like.....mmm, just saying, woulda been nice)....where was the rage directed at the Crime Syndicate and references to how seriously and personally the Batfam took making sure that they were PUNISHED for all this and would never be free to wreak havoc on their world or their family again? What did they tell Damian when he came back to life, and how are you going to tell me that this fraternal little ball of fury didn't aim himself like a cannonball at whomever the fuck had DARED take HIS Batman from him when Damian wasn't around to have his back?

Not only does everyone else's desire to be avenged start falling really flat the second you factor in hey maybe Dick feels "mmm what about MY avenging" sometimes, and why doesn't anyone ever care about doing that for him.....but also, y'know what REALLY sucks about the ONLY person we actually SEE being blamed for Dick's death and ensuing absence being like....Dick himself?

Not only were his family all super keen on making all of this HIS fault and HIM the bad guy because of how it made them all feeeeeeel (and meanwhile fuck his feelings, am I right Batfam hfaklshfklahfkla).....

They somehow found a way to justify prioritizing this OVER ever even getting around to blaming some villain for his death in the FIRST place, in the entire year or so they thought he was still dead!

Like, you couldn't come up with a single target in all that time, but Dick's back two seconds, and you don't even give him a chance to EXPLAIN before you're punching him, shutting him down with 'I expected better from you' and turning away with 'I don't want to hear it, why am I surprised Dick Grayson disappointed me again'?

afshklfhalfhalfhla

Make it make sense!

And like, it won't, cuz it doesn't, and it never will, and like I said at the top, the ONLY reason it all played out this way is because DC doesn't give a fuck about character development and deemed it necessary to go down this way for the sake of the plot (which was totes worth it, I mean, glad we sacrificed characters for this A+ plot which was clearly the greatest plot of all time and definitely justified every story choice made or not made around it loooool).

BUT.

BUT BUT BUT.

The problem isn't JUST that DC is stupid, even though that is an eternal mood and quite the problem.

Its that the SECOND large parts of fandom decided to play along with DC and just accept the story at face value, only add to it and play into it exactly as it happened in canon with no significant deviations, and like, heaping on the LITERAL abuse from Dick's siblings while ignoring the LITERAL abuse from his father....

THAT....is when all of this becomes relevant.

Because the second people decided TO engage with the reasoning DC gave for what Bruce did and how and what Dick did and how and just not mess with any of that and have it all play out exactly like that...

The second people are like, okay we're FINE with not just dismissing this story as OOC writing that doesn't make any sense, and actually VALIDATING it to various degrees by engaging with it as is....

That's when 'OOC writing' stops being an excuse or explanation for alllll of the above gaps in character logic and actions.

Because its like, when you had abundant chance to REJECT this story and say nope, this was bullshit from start to finish and I'm not here for it, when you were just as capable of transforming literally ANY aspect of this story you didn't like into something that made more sense to you....

And you chose not to.

That's.....accepting it as valid writing. You were like, okay, I'm game to just treat this as a thing that happened, just like they said that happened.

For the chance to give Dick shit for it, see. For the angst, see.

And that's when I'm like okay cool, so when engaging with this story as is and accepting it on face value and just delving into the characters as they were SHOWN interacting with and around these events......for the angst or whatever....

You guys just all decided en masse to just hop, skip and jump over allllllllll the opportunities for angst inherent in examining even ANY SINGLE ONE of the above lapses in judgment or hypocrisy on the parts of the characters (who don't get to be excused by OOC writing if you're not going to call the story an example of OOC writing, whoops).

And its just like, uh, what's up with that?

[nickblaine]

I had this question for a long time. Figured you are the safest person to ask. Do you sometimes have the feeling that June could be toxic for Nick? Like she’s single mindedly selfish and takes Nick and his love for granted. She never acknowledges how much he’s done for her. Instead she keeps pushing him to do more.

Like when she forced him to have sex with Eden, I believe she contributed to a lot of his trauma. Nick was absolutely shattered afterwards. Then in season 3 she tells him he’s good for nothing and she also tells him he’ll have only one chance to a be father to Nicole.

In season 4, she doesn’t think of him unless she needs something from him. She never as much asks him to leave Gilead and come to Canada. This bothers me more because she even asked Lawrence to leave Gilead but not Nick. I agree June’s going through a lot. But does that mean she can continue being mean to Nick and think of him only when she needs something?

(i just wanna put something out there before the rude messages and vagueposts roll in: June isn’t real. she is a fictional character. just because a character has experienced trauma doesn't mean they are above criticism or that anyone has to like them. it doesn't reflect on anyone's ability to empathize with real life survivors, either. we are all entitled to our own opinions about a TV show and deserve to feel safe expressing them outside of anonymity. just something to think about before some of y'all go around railing fellow Osblaines and making the community feel unwelcome to different opinions. this is something all of us already experience from the THT fandom of a whole and it doesn't need to be reflected amongst ourselves.

if you are a June fan, that’s great! make content. write metas. talk about how much you like her. but dictating how other people should or should not feel about her? uncool, man. just do you and let others be.)

-

with that out of the way... you're not wrong to feel this way, anon, and i'm glad my blog feels like a safe space for you to express that!

i agree completely with all your examples listed here. many of these scenes don’t seem to come from a place of love, and made me question how June really feels for Nick - especially during season 3 when her behavior was particularly insufferable.

I agree June’s going through a lot. But does that mean she can continue being mean to Nick and think of him only when she needs something?

she can, but she shouldn’t! and this is the root of most of my issues with June. it's not just Nick she takes it out on - it's everyone around her. people who help her. people who love her. people who are loyal to her. like Joseph said:

and based on everything we’ve seen so far, he isn’t wrong. who hasn’t been fucked up by June?

i would like to be able to root for June. she doesn’t have to be perfect for me to do so. (if it’s not clear by now, all of my comfort characters are deeply flawed.) but when she continues to treat others like shit (and in some cases actively harm them for her own agenda) 4+ seasons in without ever learning or growing from those mistakes, it’s difficult to maintain positive feelings for her.

and that’s ok. there’s no obligation to. it’s a freakin’ TV drama.

but i will say... even though i harbor doubts sometimes, i do believe June loves and cares for Nick in her own way. i haven’t completely given up on her because there are moments where you can see how deep that love goes, like in 4x03 and 4x09. maybe she’s just such a fundamentally flawed person that it’s difficult for her to express it in a way that comes across natural. maybe she doesn’t even fully realize the magnitude of love there, or maybe she represses it. it’s difficult to say because even though she is the titular character we rarely get to see what’s going on inside her head when it comes to her personal relationships.

like sure, we know all about June’s trauma and her vengeance and how pissed off she is at the Waterfords and the patriarchy, but how does June feel about putting Moira in a position to raise a child she never wanted? how does June feel about raping Luke? how does June feel about manipulating Emily’s pain for her own agenda? how does June feel about Nick constantly doing THE MOST for her, without asking for anything in return? the show barely scratches the surface of these things... and when it does it’s done in a throwaway manner before moving on to the next big shocking moment, leaving far too much distance between the audience and June’s real feelings.

so yeah. i guess the point is, i agree June can be toxic to those around her and after 4 seasons of it i expect nothing more. but the blame doesn’t lie solely on her - she was made into a poorly written character, after all. characters can go through trauma and still grow as a person, maintain organic relationships, and invite the audience to connect with them (instead of demanding it “because she’s a victim.”)

but instead Bruce & co prioritize making June a symbol rather than a human. she’s a symbol of vengeance against the patriarchy, of (white) feminist violence, and of devoted motherhood - with little meat in between. this is very clear from the way they all talk about June and the show as a whole, too. and that’s where June’s character flaws really come from - not her personal trauma - but from the writers’ failure to humanize her in a substantial way.

[liladiurne]

On Muggle AUs: or why I love writing them so much, and why I think more people should give them a chance

It’ll come as no surprise to anyone who’s read my works that I love Muggle AUs. I love writing them, reading them, and talking about them. I’ve written three so far and have every intention of writing more in the future. 

It's come to my attention very early in my writing ventures that a lot of readers and writers don’t see the appeal of Muggle AUs at all and even actively avoid them. And I get it. We all have our likes and dislikes, and that’s perfectly okay. But I must admit, in all honesty, that I can’t help being a bit hurt every time someone tells me they won’t give one of my fics a chance, or won’t read a fic I recommended, simply because they “just don’t read Muggle AUs”. And for a while I’ve wanted to try and express my opinions on this “trope”, if one can call it that, and explain why I think Muggle AUs are just as valid and important as the more canon-compliant stories, and just as deserving of being read, loved, discussed, and shared.

 One of the most common reasons I’ve encountered to justify why someone would avoid Muggle AUs is their most obvious characteristic: the lack of magic. And that’s perfectly reasonable. Magic, after all, is what makes the Harry Potter series so… well, magical. It’s the force that holds its universe together. It’s what made us dream, made us hope to receive that wonderful  letter ourselves when we turned eleven. What is Harry Potter without magic? Nothing special, right? Just another story. Magic is what pushes the story forward, it’s its essence.

And it’s no different when it comes to fanfiction. As fanfic writers, we use magic to propel the plot, we weave it into our narration, we use the wizarding world as a beloved setting with all its wondrous and weird places and people. Things can be fixed with a wave of a wand. People can turn into animals at will, can be invisible, can be transported in the blink of an eye. Every object can be cursed, enchanted, summoned or vanished. We use magic as a plot device.

To me, the lack of magic is what makes Muggle AUs so attractive and so full of possibilities. Because if you can’t use magic, you have to tell your story a different way, through different means. Without magic, you have to find another force to propel your story while still trying to keep one foot in the HP universe. And that force is my absolute favourite part of the series: the characters.

Muggle AUs are, most of all, character driven. They are stripped of their main essence, magic, and left with the bare minimum. But not so bare, to me! For me, more than the magic, it’s the characters that gripped me and dragged me into the HP fandom. I fell for Harry, his kindness, his sass, his losses, his bravery in the face of adversity. I fell for Snape, his snark, his intelligence, his outstanding courage, his sacrifice. The lack of magic strips the story, but it also strips the characters to their key characteristics, their core values. If there is no dark wizard chasing Harry, then what would be his challenges, what hardships would he be faced with? If there is no Hogwarts to escape to, then how would he find his place in the world? If there are no Death Eaters for Snape to join, then where would the temptation come from, where would he go to try and find the power and acceptance he seeks?

I love the challenge that Muggle AUs offer. I love transporting the characters into new lives while keeping the essence of their beings, what makes them tick, what touches them. I love setting up parallels to their canon lives in these new lives. Muggle AUs are, to me, at once the most challenging and the most rewarding form of AU. A true alternate universe where everything is different and yet the same, if you take the care, as an author, to weave your story properly and the time, as a reader, to look and find the similarities.

Muggle AUs force you to consider all the possibilities, to find a place to fit each character in a different setting in a way that suits them, their purpose, their drive.

Another reason why people tend to avoid Muggle AUs is OOC-ness. The characters seem different, their personalities not quite exactly like in canon. And don’t get me wrong, OOC-ness bugs me as much as the next reader. When I read canon-compliant fics, that is. But in Muggle AUs, a certain level of it is to be expected. How can one possibly expect a Harry who had to suffer the Dursleys until he turned eighteen because there was no magic to spirit him away, who now lives in a crabby flat, who works in a coffeeshop and struggles to pay rent to be exactly the same as in canon? How can we expect a Snape who had to work his way out of poverty and use his skill and intelligence to get into a decent school and now teaches chemistry at a graduate level to be exactly the same either? There are bound to be differences in character. But that’s what makes it so fun and challenging, fusing those differences with the essence of the character that we know so well. To me, it doesn’t matter much if the characters are a bit different, because it’s an entirely different context. What matters is how they are different, and more importantly, why.

Muggle AUs are character studies. They force you to ask yourself who the characters really are, and how they would be different if such or such a thing happened or didn’t happen to them. Muggle AUs force you to think, deeply, not only about the characters you’re using and their very nature, but also about human nature in general.

Muggle AUs are a feat of narration, an amalgam of the known and the unknown. There is a surprise at every turn. Muggle AUs are the unexpected. To me, they transport into the real world, the one we are unfortunately stuck in, a little touch of the magic that we love so much from the HP universe.

[justnat15]

Head Rubs

A/N: I’m back already with another fic! This one is for my space husband Din Djarin. Inspired by a character takeover convo I had with @mandoalorian (@maxlordsgf )(I love you Rach!!) the other day. Also, from personal experience I’ve had with putting people (my younger brothers) to sleep with head rubs. I tried to make the reader as gender neutral as possible, so if there are any pronouns or anything that defy that, please let me know!

Pairing: Din x GN!Reader (Hopefully I succeeded at keeping it gender neutral!)

Warnings: So much fluff!! Pre-established relationship (marriage), Din removes his helmet for his riddur, brief talk of bounty hunting, slight mention of struggles with parenting. (if I missed anything, I would love to know!!)

Din watched as you cradled his foundling close, rubbing your hand between between the two big ears. Sleepy coos echoed through the ship as you slowly paced the floor.

You looked up and smiled at the Mandalorian. “I think he's almost asleep,” you whispered, never stopping your movements.

It had been a particularly rough day with the child. Din had been out since dawn on a hunt, which wasn't abnormal, but the kid was especially needy and wanted more than just you. There had been moments of tears, and not just from the baby. Needless to say, you and the child were both happy when Din returned after a successful day of hunting. As soon as Din had settled in, you had handed over his foundling and trapped yourself in the refresher for a good five minutes to calm down.

It wasn't the first time a day like this happened, but they were blessedly far and few between. And when it came time to sleep, the baby would act as if you were the only one in the universe he had any attachment to.

“I don't know why he acts like this! He could barely stand me all day and now he wants only me?” You moaned, taking the crying baby back from Din.

Din huffed beneath his helmet, smirking. “It's because you always put him to bed and that is one part of his routine he doesn't want to change. He loves you, mesh'la, even if today didn't seem like it.”

You walked over to the baby's bassinet, having put him to sleep. “Good night my little monster. I love you,” you whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. The child smiled in his sleep, snuggling down in his blankets. You closed the bed and turned to Din, a grin on your face.

Din chuckled and pulled you into his arms. “And this is why the womp rat will only go to you at night. Because even though he was a right terror today for you, you still love him and treat him with the kindness others wouldn't think he deserves after a day like today.”

You glanced up at him. “He's still a baby! Of course I'm going to love him and treat him with love! He's still learning and emotions are hard to express even when you can speak.”

Din pressed his helmeted forehead to yours, the coolness of the beskar soothing against your skin. “I know, cyar'ika. But you are a rare gem in the galaxy to see and think that way. It's part of why I love you.”

You grinned, placing your hands on Din's helmet. “I love you, too, Din. Now, how about we leave our foundling to sleep and go rest ourselves? I know today must have been long for you, and to come back and have to cater to the whims of our baby? C'mon, my love.” You pulled back and grabbed his hands, dragging him to your own sleeping quarters after pressing a button on the cradle that would let you know when the baby made so much noise and was awake.

Once inside the room that housed your bed, you sat on the edge of the mattress and motioned for Din. “Come here, my love. Let me help you relax?”

Din groaned softly and stripped his armor off, taking care to put it away properly. As much as he wanted to be in your arms, he had too much respect for his beskar to just let it fall to the floor without care. His helmet was the last thing to go. “Ner riddur,” he spoke softly, his voice natural and unchanged by the modulator in his helmet.

“Come here, my husband. It's been a long day for both of us.” You scooted up the bed, sitting so there was space between your legs for the man in front of you, your arms held out for him.

Din sighed as he crawled into your embrace, nuzzling his face into your neck. “Ner kar'ta. What did I do to deserve such a one as you?”

You giggled softly, running your fingers through dark curls. “I don't know, but I was wondering how I deserve a great man like you! I love you, Din, so much, and I love the home we have here on this ship with our little foundling.”

Din just groaned at the feeling of your hands in his hair as you gently massaged his scalp, much like you had done with the baby. It never failed to relax either of them, you had learned long ago. As you continued rubbing Din's head, he melted into your smaller form.

“Mmm, I love when you do this, ner kar'ta. It feels like the rest of the world just melts away. I wish we could just stay like this forever, just you, me, and our foundling sleeping in the other room.” Din pressed his lips to your neck, reveling in the feel of your skin beneath his mouth.

You hummed softly, kissing the top of Din's head in turn. “Me, too, my love. I'm sure a day will come when we can settle down, just the three of us.”

Din nodded, becoming too tired to verbally reply. You just smiled at your husband and moved so the both of you were lying down on the bed in a more comfortable position. Din adjusted sleepily so his head was over your heart, allowing your heartbeat to finish lulling him to sleep.

Within minutes, you noticed Din's breathing even out, signaling the man had fallen asleep, once again, to you massaging his head. You kissed the top of his head and settled in more to go to sleep yourself. It really had been a long day and you were tired. “Good night, my love. Sweet dreams,” you whispered quietly before falling victim to blissful sleep yourself.

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

like a secret in your throat

y’all asked for whump. y’all got whump. title from “Vampires Will Never Hurt You” by my all-time favorite band, My Chemical Romance

whump, hurt/comfort with a happy ending!

tw: manhandling the bard, vampire transformations (side character), non-sexy biting, blood mention, canon typical injuries/violence

---

Geralt looked up from his mug of ale when he realized that Jaskier had stopped playing. Instead, the bard was chatting merrily away with a tall, broad-shouldered man in a dark cloak. The hood obscured most of the stranger’s face but Geralt caught the reflective glint of a bead or piece of metal braided into his matted black hair. An instinct tickled at the back of the Witcher’s head but Geralt couldn’t quite place the feeling. Something was wrong about this little tableau but he couldn’t figure out what it was; his medallion wasn’t reacting to anything in particular and Jaskier seemed perfectly happy, lost in conversation with the dark-haired man.

Geralt returned his gaze to his mug and let his mind wander.

Jaskier did seem perfectly happy to be without him on nights like these, when they were back in civilization and the extroverted bard could branch out and meet new people. That was the problem, in Geralt’s opinion. 

Lately the Witcher had found himself contemplating what life would be like on the Path if he decided to travel alone again. Winter wasn’t close enough for him to excuse himself and go North, but he’d developed a strange and uncomfortable dependence on the bard that he needed to be weaned away from. It wasn’t healthy for either of them. 

It wasn’t safe.

If he grew too close to Jaskier, then… 

Wouldn’t that be a weakness? Wouldn’t that be a vulnerability and a dangerous closeness? Geralt couldn’t risk forming a connection like that. He couldn’t allow himself to hope for something so organic and pure to develop between a half-monster and a youthful, bright-eyed bard; Witchers weren’t meant to get nice things. That was not his lot in life.

And yet…

Some mornings, when he only barely cracked his eyes open and used his heightened senses to peek across their campsite, he saw Jaskier looking back at him, a curious glint in those pretty blue irises. Geralt couldn’t pinpoint the emotion the bard’s face held; he was bad at that, and the uncertainty of the younger man’s feelings scared him. He could handle rejection, but acceptance? If Jaskier was as loving and openminded as Geralt thought him to be, it could prove to be a problem. Jaskier was too good for a Witcher. He didn’t deserve to be trapped by a life on the Path, dying too young because he was foolhardy and quick to fall in love.

The Witcher’s introspection came to an abrupt halt when the Jaskier in question appeared beside him, flushed and grinning. “Geralt, dear heart, are you ready to retire for the evening?”

“Are you asking me to bed?” the Witcher smirked, smothering the very real ache in his chest at the thought of curling up next to Jaskier like that. “Or do you need to borrow our room to entertain a guest?”

“Oh, no, I have no plans of that nature.” Jaskier’s already pink face darkened a shade and Geralt’s stomach flipped. “I’m actually rather tired. I was hoping to get some decent sleep tonight before we flung ourselves back into nature tomorrow.”

“Hmm. I’ll be along shortly. Don’t wait up.”

“See you in a bit then, dear heart.” 

And Jaskier disappeared up the stairs.

Unfortunately, the Witcher didn’t realize he wasn’t the only one watching Jaskier slip into their rented room with a longing expression on his face.

---

“We need to set up camp for the evening,” Geralt announced, bringing Roach to a stop and sliding gracefully down from the saddle. Jaskier loved the way his Witcher looked when he did that, like some kind of fairytale Prince or knight errant. The way his long, silver-white hair shifted and fluttered against his shoulders in the dusky light made him look more like a fantastical painting than a century-old Witcher; even with his scars and his pallid skin tone. 

The unconventionally enchanting sight made ballads stir in the most romantic corners of the bard’s busy mind. Words pooled and shifted behind his eyes, arranging themselves into neat rhyming couplets or quatrains. 

Geralt of Rivia, tall and fair,

With golden eyes and silver hair;

Whose glare could even douse the sun,

And send a Gryphon on the run.

The bard barely kept himself from sighing aloud as he removed his pack from across his shoulders and unfolded his bedroll and thin travel blanket. The material felt fragile between his calloused fingertips and he sighed forlornly,  “I’m going to need a new blanket soon.”

“Hmm.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll pay for it. And I’ll get Roach some new reins while I’m in town,” the bard waved his hand nonchalantly, as if spending money was no big deal. It really wasn’t, all things considered. They would be able to travel far more comfortably if Geralt would allow them to stop in Novigrad and access his University accounts more often. Alas, Witchers are stubborn creatures. “I see the way they chafe her poor muzzle, Geralt, so don’t argue. If you really insist you can pay me back by letting me write a song about the color of your eyes.”

“My… eyes?”

“They’re rather pretty, dear heart, and I think the world could do with a ballad about how they glow when you turn your face toward the sun.”

Geralt felt the back of his neck grow hot and he glanced away, “Hmm.”

“Well, let me know what you think in the morning. I don’t need an answer right away.”

Geralt finished setting up a decent pile of firewood and brought it to life with an efficient burst of Igni. He glanced across the flames to Jaskier and grunted, “I’m going to catch us some dinner. Make tea.”

“Yes, sir,” Jaskier saluted, smiling. Geralt rolled his eyes, grabbed his crossbow, and disappeared into the darkening treeline. Jaskier began to hum as he set up their tea kettle and filled it with water from the waterskin. The humming turned to quiet singing as he measured out two mugs worth of tea from the sachet of dried leaves. 

Singing that was cut off with a sharp, sudden cry.

---

Geralt heard the bard scream once. Only once.

The sound punctuated the air before leaving an uncomfortable, grating silence in its wake. 

The Witcher took off towards their campfire without a second thought, allowing his instincts to take over and guide him safely back, the potency of Jaskier’s fear hung thick and sour in the air, growing stronger the closer he came to their clearing. When he burst back into view, chest heaving from the sprint, he widened his eyes at the sight before him:

The cloaked figure from the tavern had Jaskier wrapped in his burly arms. One large, long-fingered hand had immobilized Jaskier’s wrists by pressing them into the dip at the base of the bard’s spine, forcing his elbows out and pressing his chest even tighter against the stranger’s. 

Jaskier looked up at Geralt beseechingly through his dark, damp lashes. His mouth opened in a silent cry of confusion and pain when the man tugged at his wrists and forced his arms to bend awkwardly. The bard wriggled and strained against the stranger’s iron grip in an effort to escape but the man only snarled in irritation and jerked him back into place. “Bad bard. Stay put, little thing.”

Geralt took a slow step towards his swords, trying to reassure Jaskier with his expression that: Everything will be okay. I will get you out of this. I will protect you and keep you safe… somehow. 

Jaskier needed Geralt to pay attention and protect him from harm.

Geralt had failed.

The Witcher watched with wide, horrified eyes as the hulking man keeping Jaskier captive shifted slowly into a far less humanoid form. The baubles braided into his hair jangled and clinked as his nose elongated and his eyes widened. His arms lengthened to form clawed bat-wings and his face thinned and covered over with a layer of grey fur. Fangs burst forth from his gums and slid over his previously humanesque canines. His voice, which had been rasping odd little sounds in the Witcher’s direction, faded into an terrible shriek. 

A Katakan. 

A Katakan that had snuck in and out of civilization without Geralt so much as smelling it; one that had Jaskier pinned against its chest, the claws of its unoccupied hand sharp and dangerous as they hovered near the bard’s ribcage, ready to pierce but unwilling to waste precious blood unless absolutely necessary. It screamed again, even more shrilly. “Want him!”

Geralt dove forward and pulled his silver sword from its sheath. He swung it in an elegant arc and narrowed his eyes, “Let him go and I might let you live.”

The Witcher’s words were a lie and they both knew it.

The Katakan twitched its long ears in annoyance and hauled Jaskier even closer. It wrenched his arms painfully and the bard whimpered, blue eyes filling steadily with tears. Geralt’s heart seized wretchedly in his chest and he tried his best to ignore it; he couldn’t let his feelings distract him until Jaskier was safe. 

“I want him,” the monster rasped, readjusting the bard in its grip. It turned Jaskier around until he was facing the Witcher, releasing his wrists just long enough to pull his hands around to the front before capturing them again. It grazed its two long fangs against the column of Jaskier’s throat and trilled happily. “He sings so pretty. Talks so sweet. Bet he tastes sweet like he talks.”

“Hmm,” Geralt agreed. “He does have a rather pretty singing voice. I suppose that’s why I can’t have you killing him.”

“But he will sing for me,” the vampire shrugged. It shook Jaskier like a toy and the bard’s tears finally fell. He whimpered again when the vampire leaned close and told him: “Sing, little thing. Let me pull lovely music from your veins.”

Jaskier shivered visibly. He gave a few panting, strangled sobs as he slipped into panic, too frightened to move with the vampire’s fangs so close to his neck. He wanted Geralt to finally swing that stupid sword and get this over with. He wanted to curl up in Geralt’s arms and never leave for the rest of his life. He wanted to be taken to Kaer Morhen and hidden away in safety, fuck his music career and the rest of the world. He wanted Geralt to stay in his presence forever, never letting him out of sight again. He wanted…

Before he could finish his thought there was a sharp, piercing, all-encompassing pain at the juncture where his neck met his shoulder.

A keening wail filled the air once. 

The vampire bit down harder, its tongue sliding against the skin of the bard’s neck in an effort to urge the blood to exit faster. 

There was another high, piteous cry for help and then... 

The world went black.

---

When Jaskier opened his eyes again, the world was even darker than it had been before; mostly because the light from both the moon and their campfire was being blocked out by the broad plane of Geralt’s chest, which Jaskier found himself cradled against almost… lovingly. Above him, he heard the Witcher murmuring: “Jaskier, please. Please wake up, Julek. Come on, bard, I kn-”

“G-Geralt?” he managed to croak. He followed it with a very eloquent, “Hunh?”

“Jaskier,” the Witcher sagged with relief, pressing his forehead against the bard’s and breathing in deeply. He tightened his arms around Jaskier, pulling him even closer as his frown disappeared, “Melitele be blessed, you’re alive!”

“Should I not be?” Jaskier asked. He tried to sit up on his own and winced when a bright burst of pain flared out from his shoulder.

“The Katakan- You were bleeding so much and I-” Geralt was, as always, at a loss for words. Jaskier waited patiently, still feeling drowsy and half-alive, and allowed the Witcher to gather his thoughts. His neck ached and his left arm tingled fiercely every time he tried to flex his hand on that side. 

“Did it… Am I a vampire now?” he asked. The absurdity of the question broke Geralt from his confusion.

“No,” the Witcher answered swiftly. “You’re still very mortal-” a hand swept through Jaskier’s hair, calming him further “-And unfortunately still very fragile.”

“Are you going to beat yourself up over this for the next week and somehow twist it around until it’s all your fault?”

“Hmm,” Geralt looked away. Jaskier was still being held so very tenderly in his arms, laid across the Witcher’s lap like some kind of swooning maiden. He rather liked how close he was to Geralt and hoped to stay that way for just a little longer. The Witcher surprised them both by letting a full sentence slip into the air between them, “I don’t like seeing you hurt, Jaskier, especially not when… when I was close enough that I could have prevented it from happening at all.”

“Your medallion didn’t give you any hints about this thing back at the inn when I was talking to him? He seemed completely normal, if a little monosyllabic. I’m used to monosyllabic, anyway,” the bard joked, trying to lighten the mood somewhat. It didn’t work; Geralt lifted his head and stared into the fire, his brow already furrowed as he slipped into his private realm of self-loathing. Jaskier was still laying across his lap, his neck and shoulder giving off pulsing aches with every beat of his heart. 

Eventually the Witcher spoke again, his voice low and full of frustration. “Katakans are different, they don’t- they don’t set off my medallion the way other creatures do, and they can disguise themselves as people. They can move and talk like people; you saw it transform.”

“I did,” Jaskier grimaced. “And it wanted me to sing while it drank my blood.”

“You didn’t do very much singing,” the Witcher grumbled. “You screamed twice and fainted. It nearly dropped you.”

“If I remember correctly,” the bard smiled playfully, “Someone said my singing was too pretty for me to die.”

“Hmm.”

“It was you, Geralt. You said that.”

“Hmm.”

Jaskier tried to sit up again and nearly passed out from the pain that screamed through the entire left side of his body. “I- Geralt, I-”

“What’s wrong, Julek?” the Witcher asked, adjusting the bard until he was more comfortably enclosed in Geralt’s arms, his back leaning against one of Geralt’s bent legs for support. Geralt’s other leg was straightened out before him and Jaskier let his calves fall atop the Witcher’s thick thighs. They looked like a painting, with Jaskier reclined as he was and Geralt looking at him like that.  

“Everything hurts, dear heart. My whole left side feels aflame.”

“It’ll burn like that for a day or so,” Geralt shushed him. “You bled quite a lot, you were bitten, and you hit the ground pretty hard.”

“You didn’t catch me?”

“I was a little busy beheading your attacker and keeping you from becoming a member of the undead,” Geralt scoffed. “Pardon me for not carrying you to safety first.”

“Well since you let me get injured, you have to kiss it better to gain your pardon,” the bard insisted. Geralt’s eyes widened comically and his hand clenched where it was resting on Jaskier’s lower back. 

“It’ll- It would hurt if I kissed your wound,” Geralt replied shakily, trying to escape while he still could. Jaskier wasn’t about to let him. Not again.

“Then you’ll just have to kiss my lips instead.”

“Jaskier?”

“Hush, Geralt. I know how you feel about me, and I feel much the same about you. Let’s skip the words bit, because I know that’s not your favorite, and get right to the kissing.”

“Oh, uh...” The Witcher allowed himself to smile. It was a soft, nervous thing but it made his eyes crinkle at the corners and Jaskier felt himself fall even further in love with his darling Geralt. “Alright.”

Geralt cupped the back of Jaskier’s head carefully, tilting his own chin down, and brought their lips together slowly. The bard’s lips were soft and plush and warm beneath his own, giving just slightly but not wilting beneath his touch. It was better than anything he could have imagined. When they pulled apart, Jaskier frowned. 

“Was it bad?” Geralt asked automatically, more nervous than he had ever been with another lover. 

“No,” Jaskier shook his head. “I just don’t think I’m healed yet. I may require another. Or several more.”

“Well, if the patient thinks it’s necessary,” Geralt grinned, leaning forward again. Jaskier pulled himself up a little to meet him, ignoring the lances of hurt in his arm. “I suppose...”

[offbeatcappuccino]

Love Alarm Season 2: In Defense of Hye Yeong (written by a Sun Oh stan)

Warning: This analysis contains spoilers. Read at your own risk!

I binge-watched two seasons of Love Alarm in two days and I have some thoughts on the Kim Jojo- Hye Yeong ship. I genuinely hate watching k-dramas that involve the audience having to do deal with not only the relationship between the female and male lead, but also the relationship between her and an equally if not more swoon-worthy second male lead. I had a brief encounter with Love Alarm Season 1 two years ago before I decided against finishing the season because I discovered that it ends on a cliffhanger. Like many fans of the show, from the first three episodes, I strongly believed that Sun-Oh and Jojo would end up together. They both had difficult childhoods and parents and with Jojo enabling the shield, their breakup seemed temporary and that they would get back together once Jojo figures out how to disable the shield and realizes the she was never happy without Sun Oh. Therefore, I found it surprising to find the creators of the show positing a Jojo-Hye Yeong pairing. By doing so, they not only broke Sun Oh's heart but also millions of fans worldwide. However, upon deeper reflection, I think I can understand why a Hye-Yeong-Jojo pairing was the most probable all along and is necessary for the premise of the show to succeed.

Love Alarm is more than a rom-com about a bunch of teenagers overcoming adversity through love. Love Alarm offers its audience a nuanced critique of our dependency on technology and how such dependency makes us less intuitive about our feelings and needs. The best way to explain this in our current society is by quite literally focusing on the invention of the alarm. Before the alarm was invented, humans slept and rose based on our circadian rhythms and we instinctively woke up every day to carry out our various responsibilities. However, with the invention of the alarm clock, many of us are not able to wake up on time for anything without it. Try to sleep one day without setting your alarm and you'll find yourself waking up four hours later ( been there done that!). Similarly, in the world of Love Alarm, we see individuals overly reliant on the app to the point that it has dominated every single discourse being had in 2023. For instance, in the first scene of Season 2 Episode 1, we see a marriage ceremony that only concludes after the bride and groom ring each other's alarms and with the release of Love Alarm 2.0, people aren't even giving a chance to individuals, who don't show up on the list. The notion of blind trust in our relationships is completely thrown with Love Alarm when there is an app that is constantly verifying whether a person has feelings for you. This is detrimental because the success of true passionate love rests on the fact that we come to care for someone so deeply that we ultimately trust them to feel the same way about us, so we let them into the most intimate aspects of our lives.

This statement mentioned above is precisely why Sun Oh and Jojo were never endgame. Sun Oh and Jojo's relationship was only initiated because they rang each other's alarms and while they shared moments of happiness, their relationship was not founded on trust because both Sun Oh and Jojo lacked the intuition to see their relationship as something that transcends an app. Throughout Season 2, we see Sun Oh consistently warped in the technicalities of the app with his obsessive questioning of Jojo over the shield. While we see him question Jojo about why she can't ring his alarm, he can't seem to comprehend this idea that you don't need the alarm to be in a successful relationship even though he seems to be doing that quite wonderfully with Yok Joo. Yok Joo because someone that truly makes Sun Oh happy and remains a constant source of support that he can rely on. Likewise, we see Sun Oh prioritizing and caring for Yok Joo, signs that he is growing to love someone, but cannot accept it because he excepts the Alarm to tell him that he is in love.

Love rarely is an instantaneous experience, but rather something that develops over time, and Love Alarm completely strips this experience. In his decision to woo Jojo without the alarm, Hye Yeong embraces this idea successfully. He remains undeterred about the fact that Jojo can't ring his alarm and continues to spend meaningful time with her because being around her simply makes him feel happy and a part of him trusts the fact that Jojo feels the same way. Hye Yeong trusts his intuition more than he trusts an app. In doing so, he makes Jojo realize that she has to listen to herself rather than an app. Throughout her storyline, a common thread is the supposed lack of control that Jojo feels from her parents' death to her being left with no choice but to rely on her unkind aunt and cousin for support. In Jojo being able to finally make a choice in her life in choosing to love Hye Yong, she is arguably able to express autonomy over her life for the first time and she is not bound by her status as an economically struggling orphan in doing so.

Additionally, another reason why Jojo and Sun-Oh's relationship failed is that while the two may truly be in love, they were not in love with each other at the right time. When Jojo and Sun Oh were both dating each other, they were arguably at the lowest points in their life. Sun Oh was dealing with extremely abusive and negligent parents, while Jojo was still traumatized by the death of her parents and the bullying that she faced at the hands of her cousin and classmates. Throughout their relationship, Jojo was terrified at the prospect of Sun-Oh finding out about her background and was embarrassed by her socioeconomic status, which was what prompted her to download the shield in the first place. Jojo's period of However, by the time Hye Yeong pursues a relationship with Jojo, she is in a much better place. Not only does she feel more comfortable with Hye-Yeong because they had already seen each other at their all-time lows, but she's become more assertive, confident, and found some fame in her work as the artist of The Ringing World. She also has a best friend that understands and respects her boundaries. Loving someone but having to let them go because it simply wasn't the right time and place is all too common of an occurrence and the creators of the show challenge us to question the idea that we are only destined for one person our entire life. We can love many people throughout our life, but the ones who we grow to love when we love ourselves is where the key to long term commitment lies.

I know that many fans of the show are upset and I also have many issues with the writing and development of Sun Oh's character. Regardless, I also feel that Love Alarm challenges many of the expectations that arise from cliché k-drama tropes. There are so many things that I would change about the show, but I have grown to accept the fact that Sun Oh deserves better. But, I'm not sure if Jojo would have been the source of his happiness and I only wish that his ending didn't feel so incomplete and heartbreaking.

[ijustwant2write]

Underestimated-Halfdan The Black x Reader

(GIF credit to @jorindelle​)

Requested by anonymous: ‘Hi! Could you please write an imagine about Halfdan? If so, with smut please ☺️ thank you in advance, I love your imagines!’

Characters: Halfdan the Black x Reader, Harald Finehair x Reader (brother-in-law)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: SMUT, swearing, kissing, mention of weapons, mention of battle, fighting/violence, touching/groping, dirty talk, mention of cum, fluff

                                        *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The sun was beating down on us harshly, despite the season turning cold, but with no clouds in the sky we found ourselves sweating as we trained. I was in charge today, these young people knew the basics, though they thought that meant they were ready. They had a long way to go before they were fully prepared for battle.

"Rest for a short while. Lay your weapons down, have some water, try to get out of the sun. We shall be sparring next." I announced, laughing at their relieved faces.

"(Y/N)?" one of the girls called as they sat under the nearest tree, whilst another girl grabbed a hug to pour everyone a cup of water.

"Yes?" I sat down with them.

"Is it true that on the last raid, you found yourself surrounded by five warriors on the battlefield? And you had no choice but to fight them off yourself?!" 

"Yes, it's true. That was a difficult battle, even without being ambushed. You see, we weren't raiding a helpless village, or a meek town. These people were prepared, since the first viking raid years and years ago, they had been training, just like we do. Although they were not up to our standards of skill, they had courage, which, at first, helped them. I had managed to cut down anyone in my path, until they caught me out.”

"So how did you escape?"

"She didn't." someone else spoke up.

All of our heads turned to look at Birger, who was leaning back against the tree, sipping on his water as he smirked.

I raised an eyebrow at him."Oh? I didn't realise you were there Birger, please elaborate."

His expression didn't falter as he sat up."It doesn't make sense. Anyone with enough sense you see that. You say you're able to fight your way through everyone, and suddenly you're in trouble?"

"Well, Birger, if you had ever been in a battle, or even a small scrap for that matter, you would understand that you cannot control everything. Even the greatest warriors find themselves in trouble at times. That's why training is so important. You might learn something if you paid attention instead of gazing at yourself in the reflection of your sword."

The others snickered under their breaths, causing Birger to scowl.“I am going to be the finest warrior-”

“Yes, you will be due to my training. You’re young and naive, but over time you will learn discipline. Everyone, you have five minutes before we start again. And thanks to Birger, we will start with double conditioning.”

It was cruel to the others, but the look of resentment on Birger’s face secretly brought me joy. It was sadistic, though he deserved it. He was right, he would become a great fighter, just like his parents (who were good friends of mine, hence why I had agreed to take him on). I had no idea where his attitude came from, all of his family were very humble; however, he was the eldest of all their children, who the rest of were girls, and as the only son, he was the one who would carry on the family line. And with parents known for their fighting skills, he also had the pressure of becoming a warrior. 

“Birger, may I talk to you?” I said as I dismissed everyone at the end of the day.

He halted in his steps, and I could tell he rolled his eyes before turning around. “Yes?”

“I want you to keep training, I want to keep training you. But I will not tolerate you speaking of me in such an ill manner and spreading lies.”

He shrugged, looking away.“If what you say is true, why are so defensive about it?”

“I am defending my honour. I have fought beside your parents to ensure that the children of this town, children like yourself, have a good and rich future. There is a thin line between confidence and arrogance.”

“I get this speech every day from my father, I don’t need to listen to you too. Especially from someone who uses her husband’s titles to her advantage-”

“Be careful what you say boy, otherwise you shall lose your tongue.” Halfdan suddenly appeared behind me, causing my head to whip up to look at him.

Birger looked frightened, but didn’t back down.“You can’t do that.”

“Who says?” Halfdan’s arm slipped around my waist.

“My parents would-”

“Your parents would thank me. Go on, run home boy.”

It was easy to see that Birger wanted to bite back, his hand was even on the hilt of his sword (a beautiful piece of weaponry gifted to him, I had been jealous of it). Knowing he would get into more trouble or embarrass himself, he sulked away, picking up his pace to catch up with his friends.

“I can handle Birger.” I moaned to my husband, turning around to face him.

He smirked.“I know, but I love seeing him shit his trousers.”

I giggled.“Yes, so do I. Although I would have liked to do that myself, thank you.”

He shamelessly let his hands slide down to grope my arse, pulling me close as he leaned down to kiss me. I held onto either side of his face, loving how he was treating me in that moment. He moaned against my mouth, and although I could feel myself getting worked up, we had other places to be, and I was in the mood for teasing him.

“Halfdan.” I breathed out as his lips travelled down my neck.“We have your brother’s birthday feast.”

He pulled away, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.“And?”

I laughed.“We need to get ready. I still need to bathe.”

“Well, we should bathe together-”

“You’ll make us late.” I gently took his arms off me.

“Is there something wrong with you today? Are you feeling alright?” he put his hand against my forehead.

I removed it, kissing his hand before taking it in my own.“I’m absolutely fine. Let’s go.”

It was hilarious seeing his reaction. He was gobsmacked as I dragged him along. Of course throughout our relationship, we had teased each other like this before, but it had been a long time since I had fun like this. Halfdan was used to fucking women whenever he liked long before me, and used to making love to me regularly. However, in this moment he was confused as to why I didn’t want him to take me in the field, especially since we hadn’t slept together for over a week, due to clashing schedules. 

As soon as we stepped into our home, I made a beeline for our room, ordering the thralls to start my bath. Another thrall already had my dress laid out on a chair, along with the shoes and jewellery. I was admiring the pieces, knowing that Halfdan had followed me, and I refrained from giggling when he ordered the thralls to leave. 

“Halfdan,” I faked shock,“they need to run my bath, I have to get ready!”

“Why are you so insistent on being on time? We’ve been late many times before.”

“Because we have a reputation to uphold.”

“A reputation?” he walked closer to me, wrapping his arms around my waist, his chest against my back.“We’re known for loving each other very much.”

“You grow weak in your age Halfdan.”

He tensed.“Say that again.”

“Are you scared you won’t last the night anymore? You’ll cum just looking at me?”

He quickly turned me around to face him, pushing me against a nearby wall.“You think I can’t fuck you all night? Afraid I won’t be able to make you scream my name until your throat is hoarse, and make your legs shake so much that you can’t walk the day? You don’t think I can kiss every inch of your body, making you squirm so much that you just beg me to take you? You know how you look the next day, marked by me so everyone knows what we did the night before, and everyone know how good I can fuck you?”

Although I could feel myself getting wetter, the stubborn part of me wanted to keep us this act, because when Halfdan was riled up, the sex was on another level.“Halfdan, I need to get ready.”

The shit eating grin that had slowly formed on his face as he teased me instantly disappeared. He was pissed off. Slowly moving away from me, his fingers lingered in mine.

“R-right.” he mumbled.

“I’ll be as quick as I can. Go, I’m sure the thralls have everything ready for you too.” I pecked him on the lips before ushering him out, becoming giddy at the thought of us fucking later. 

With a smile on my face the entire time I was getting ready, I caught the thralls exchanging looks, they knew what was coming tonight. I felt slightly bad for them, they couldn’t escape the noise we created. But Halfdan and I had never been afraid for other’s to know how much we loved each other.

Surprisingly, Halfdan didn’t try anything on the way to the hall. He knew I wasn’t giving in so easily. We greeted Harald upon our arrival, who was already in the midst of a group of friends. Guests were trickling in, we were just on time. Harald’s smile beamed as he spotted us, arms opening for a rough, manly hug with his brother, before gently embracing me with a light kiss on both cheeks. Our thralls added his gifts to the growing pile as we were handed drinks, starting off the night that was sure to end well.

“Brother, you seem tense this evening. You have your beautiful wife beside you, what could you be upset about?” Harald laughed as we sat at the head table, just finished with our elaborate feast. 

“No I am not.” Halfdan poorly defended himself.

“Speaking of wives,” I interrupted, leaning across my husband, hand resting on his thigh,“shouldn’t you be down there dancing with eligible young ladies?”

Harald cleared his throat.“Well, I’m not much of a dancer-”

“Nonsense! You need to find yourself a wife! They’re all dying for you to even glance in their direction. And if you don’t find someone tonight, it’s your birthday, you should be having fun.”

He grinned at me.“Well, if you insist. It is my birthday after all.”

I laughed as my brother-in-law practically ran down to the gaggle of women in the room, seeing him manage to convince one to dance with him. The music was upbeat, a lot of people were now dancing, the alcohol in their systems giving them more confidence. They were singing as they danced, laughing the whole time. Looking at Halfdan, you wouldn’t think you were at a cheerful celebration. He noticed me suppressing my laugh, but when his foul eyes darted to look at me, I couldn’t contain it any longer. Heads still turned to look at me as I laughed, despite the volume of the music. 

“I’m glad you are enjoying yourself.” Halfdan spat.

I struggled to speak, talking between laughs.“Yes...I really am...I’m sorry my love....but your face!”

He just scoffed at me, downing the rest of his drink.

“Oh Halfdan, you grow grumpy with age.” I leaned over, fluttering my eyelashes at him.

“Now you call me old.”

I hummed, slowly sliding my hand across his thigh.“You are so tense, as if you were made of stone.”

“I will not play your games.”

“That’s shame.” I lowly said, rubbing my hand on the inside of his leg, moving further upwards.“I can always stop if you want.”

He took in a shaky breath, looking out at the crowd dancing. I placed my hand on top of his crotch, grabbing him firmly through his trousers, enjoying it as he closed his eyes. I moved myself to sit on his lap, nothing out of the ordinary, there were many couples doing just the same. With one arm still working on his crotch, and the other wrapped around the back of his neck, I started to kiss him. Halfdan took no time in grabbing my arse, trying to pull me closer to start grinding on him. Using my dress skirts to cover his lap, I used that to hide my hand disappearing into his trousers. Halfdan’s head tilted back as I gripped onto him, working him like I know I could and how he liked it. His moans were quiet, he didn’t want to draw too much attention to himself, though I could tell he was starting to struggle.

As my pace sped up, and his body began tensing up even more, I kissed him one last time before completely stopping, even standing up to expose his hard member. He rustled with his trousers, glaring at me as I started to walk away. I managed to make it outside before he grabbed me.

“You think you can just leave me unfinished and exposed like that?!” he snapped.

“I just did.”

“All day with this foolery! Well it stops right now.”

He laced his fingers with mine, dragging me away from the hall, and I started to get excited until I realised we were headed towards the stables. I ripped my arm away from him, holding up my arms as he tried to grab me again.

“You are not fucking me in a smelly stable, we are going home to our bed.” I sternly demanded.

“I cannot wait that long.” he growled.

“Halfdan, I’m not a whore. I’m your wife and you’ll do well to remember that.”

As soon as the last word left my lips, I stormed off in the direction of our home, smirking when Halfdan let out a loud groan. But he soon caught up to me, holding my hand again, kissing it to try and get me on his good side. When he saw my lips twitching up into a smile, he grinned, pulling me along, urging my feet to go faster.

We ran through our home to our bedroom, and I was immediately pushed against the door, Halfdan’s fingers already working to untie my dress. Having done it so many times before, it easily fell off my shoulders, causing me to shiver at the sudden coldness that hit my skin. Halfdan’s hands were warm as he ran them down my body, squeezing my breasts before travelling further down. One arm wrapped around my waist as his other hand started to rub my clit, slowly circling it. I let out a breathy mouth, already rotating my hips against him. His hand on my waist gripped me, it kept me in place as he slipped in a finger, despite wanting to write against him. As he entered another finger, he got onto his knees, driving his face in between my legs, his tongue working with his fingers to pleasure me. I gripped onto his hair as my knees buckled, trying to keep myself standing.

Whining as he stopped and got back onto his feet, my mouth dropped open as he licked his fingers in front of me.“Get on the bed.”

I moved instantly, sitting on the edge of it. He kept eye contact with me as he stalked over, his steps agonisingly slow. Knowing how this usually goes, I started to spread my legs for him, about to move back onto my elbows when he stopped me. I was looking up at him through my eyelashes, knowing what he wanted. It was my turn to undress him now. As he removed his shirt, I unbuckled his trousers again, pulling them down as I cast my eyes on his dick It was still hard, and I took him into my mouth as he grabbed the back of my head, tugging at my hair like I had done to him. I moaned around him, using my hands to take what was left of him as he pushed my head back and forth on his dick. I used to struggle to take him on with my mouth, but after so much practice, I could do it whenever I wanted to please my husband without hesitation.

Removing his hands from the back of my head, I took in a big breath of air as I pulled away from him, wiping away the saliva around my mouth. I didn’t want him to cum in my mouth, I wanted him to cum inside of me. He pushed me onto my back, flipping me onto my front. I raised my arse in the air for him, spreading my legs and reaching through them to touch myself. He hated when I did that, only he wanted to pleasure me. Grabbing onto my arse cheeks, he used his dick to tease my clit, sliding it along it and using my wetness to soak him. 

“I’m going to fuck you so hard.” he growled.“You deserve this, you’re going to be screaming, begging for me to stop because it’s too much, but I’ll keep going until I’ve cum inside you.”

“Please...” I said,“please Halfdan, I want you inside of me.”

I felt the head at my entrance, he slowly slid inside of me, both of us moaning at how each other felt. Halfdan wasted no time, starting to thrust into me, hard and slow at first before getting faster and faster. His fingers made my skin sting as he gripped at it, pulling me back and forth harshly. At one point he stopped, pushing my knees together to make me even tighter. 

“Fuck, Halfdan!” I cried out, head shoved into the bed as I clung onto the furs beneath me.“You’re so good!”

He slapped my arse.“You feel so good! Shit, I’m going to cum.”

“Not yet.” I managed to say, somehow crawling away from him.

I already missed the feeling him inside of me. Moving further up the bed, I rolled onto my back, opening my legs for him. He climbed onto the bed, lining himself up with me again. Halfdan laid on top, kissing me as he slid inside again, his fast pace picking up again. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he pined my arms down. It was intense, he was looking down at me as he continued to fuck me. I held eye contact with him for as long as I could, but the pleasure was all too much. As I got close, I threw my head back, crying out his name. He cried out as he came inside of me, but kept thrusting to finish me off. Sitting up, he put my legs over his shoulders, reaching down to rub my clit to send me over the edge. My legs shook as I came, screaming out his name one last time.

He gently lowered my legs, enjoying how much they were still shaking and how sensitive everything felt. He laid beside me, pulling me close to him and kissing me softly. 

“That was fucking amazing.” I breathed out, cuddling close to him.

“You’ve been bad today, on purpose.” he smirked.

“Yes.” I giggled.“But isn’t the sex worth it?”

He reluctantly smiled.“Yes.”

“I like teasing you. Have you noticed I’ve got better over the years?”

“Indeed you have. but you learnt from the best. Look at you, you’re still shaking.”

He cupped me, and I winced, clutching onto his arm.“Yes. Just a few more minutes.”

“Hm?”

“You didn’t think that was it did you?”

“Oh, there’s more?”

“Tut tut Halfdan. You grow tired in your old age.”

He suddenly straddled me again.“I’ll show you old age.”

[fantastic-rambles]

Fandom: Sk8 the Infinity

Characters: Shindo Ainosuke (Adam), Kikuchi Tadashi (Snake), Shindo Ainosuke’s Aunts

Warnings: Emotional Manipulation, References to Abuse, Yandere Tadashi, Graphic Violence, Non-Sexual Bondage, Murder/Minor Character Death, Blood, Gore, Crying, Vomiting, etc. Tread carefully!

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: (AU - Canon Divergence) Tadashi is tired of Ainosuke's aunts and their manipulations, so he decides to take matters into his own hands, whether Ainosuke wants it or not. [TadaAi Week 2021 | Day 2: Separation/Ties]

“Ainosuke-sama. Your presence is requested in the drawing room.”

Tadashi cuts off the call before Ainosuke can reply, and he’s left staring at his phone in bewilderment. The only people who would call him to the drawing room would be his aunts, but it’s the middle of the night. And usually, Tadashi would come to fetch him in person.

Still, he can’t resist the habits that have been ingrained in him since he was four: when his aunts call for him, he attends, regardless of what he’s doing. Whether he was just sitting in the garden, in a lesson with his tutors, or even at one of his equestrian classes, when the call came, someone would come to fetch him and bring him inside. The only place where he could be certain that he wouldn’t be interrupted was when he was in school.

Thus, confused, he nevertheless begins the walk down to the drawing room, frowning as he draws closer. There are small noises that he can’t identify: muffled, high-pitched voices that he can’t understand, a rustle and the sound of something tearing. And when he steps into the room, it feels as if the axis of the world has tilted, and he’s stepped into a dream… or a nightmare.

His aunts are seated around the table as they usually are, and when he enters the room, three pairs of eyes turn to look at him, just like always. But they aren’t eyes filled with their usual confidence and self-assurance. They’re wide, desperate, and terrified. Each of them is tied to her chair with coarse rope, their mouths stuffed with cloth, and Hanako and Masako are covered in plastic sheeting that wraps around their necks like a barber’s cape. More rustling draws his attention to Kanako, and Tadashi behind her, securing a third sheet around the woman with the harsh rip of more tape. And then his assistant straightens up, tugging at the lapels of his jacket before looking at Ainosuke. And he doesn’t recognize those eyes, either: they’re as flat as always, but they’re also cold. So cold that it makes Ainosuke shiver and take an involuntary step back.

“Tadashi?”

His voice sounds strange to his ears, thin and distant.

“Tadashi? What are you doing?”

Hanako is trying to say something through her gag, frantic words that break apart into unintelligible noise. Masako is struggling against her bonds, the rope twisting the silk of her nightgown and leaving red welts around her wrists. Kanako is lunging forward, dragging her chair forward in a soft scrape of wood on wood, but Ainosuke can’t look away from the man who’s brought them all here. So he sees when Tadashi reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out something that shines dark and metallic in the moonlight coming through the window, pressing it to Kanako’s head. And the woman freezes instantly, her pleading eyes staring at Ainosuke, begging for him to stop whatever is happening.

Bending over, Tadashi pulls out the cloth from her mouth, dropping the soaked fabric into her lap, where it squelches against the plastic.

“Ainosuke!” she gasps, her voice high with terror. “Do something! Call the police! Call--”

“Shut up.”

She’s cut off by a cold voice that none of them recognize, her head snapping sideways when the gun is slammed against her head. A gun. Where the hell had Tadashi gotten a gun? Kanako whimpers as blood courses down her face while the barrel is shoved against the back of her head again.

“The only words I want to hear out of your mouth are apologies to Ainosuke-sama. Anything else, and I’ll pull the trigger. If you don’t do a good job, I’ll pull the trigger.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then Kanako is babbling, tears drawing tracks through the blood.

“Ainosuke, you know we love you, right? We just--”

And she flinches at the sound of a small click, the cocking of the gun.

“NO! Nonono, I'm sorry. I'll do it. I'm sorry, Ainosuke. We hurt you, and I regret it. I didn't mean to. I just wanted to raise you into an outstanding man. And you've done us so proud, Ainosuke. We just tried our best to--"

With a bang, Kanako suddenly slumps forward, and her sisters' screams can be heard through their gags while they jerk against the ropes and Ainosuke stares, wide-eyed with shock. Kanako doesn't move while blood drips from her head, pattering against the plastic like rain. She just sits, silent and still, and he just watches with a sick sense of horror.

But then Tadashi is moving, crossing the room, and he can't help but follow the other man's silent progress. The moonlight illuminates a splash of something on his face, wet and dark, but Tadashi hasn't even bothered to try to wipe it away. And then he stops behind Masako, and Ainosuke's legs can no longer support his weight. He crumbles to his knees, his throat working frantically to force words out.

"Tadashi... stop. Please," he begs, watching his youngest aunt cringe and shiver. "What do you want? We'll give it to you, anything. We won't tell the police what happened. I promise. It's not too late. You can still stop. Just stop. Please. Don't... don't kill her. Don't kill them."

Tadashi doesn't even seem to hear him as he bends over to pull the gag out of Masako's mouth. The woman is sobbing helplessly, her face tear-stained and her breath coming in short, choking gasps. Even the gun pressed to her head can't suppress her panic, and neither can Tadashi's chilling voice.

"Your turn."

But there's no sound in the room except for Masako's crying and Hanako's muffled shouts, and then Tadashi sighs with apparent impatience. A gloved hand wraps around Masako's slender throat, and Ainosuke just stares as the fingers tighten, digging into soft flesh. And the cries are suddenly cut off, and Masako struggles in Tadashi’s grip, her mouth opening and closing soundlessly until he finally lets go. And then she slumps forward, coughing, only for Tadashi’s hand to fist in her hair and drag her head up, forcing her to look over at Ainosuke.

“Your turn,” he repeats.

“Tadashi...”

“Ainosuke. Ainosuke, dear. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry. We were wrong. What we did was wrong.” Masako’s voice is hoarse and shaky, and every word seems to cause her pain, but she forces them out anyways, tears still falling down her face. “We hurt you badly. We ruined your childhood. We were selfish, thinking of ourselves and the family. Not thinking about you.”

“No. No, that’s not true, auntie. You raised me. All of you,” Ainosuke protests, his mouth dry. And it’s true: without them, he couldn’t have become the man he was today. They’d loved him, and they’d taught him everything he knew, everything he needed to succeed. It was true that their love sometimes hurt, but he’d always known that it was only because they cared.

“Keep going,” says the voice of the executioner, and both of them flinch.

“Kikuchi-kun is right, Ainosuke. We should apologize. We need to apologize. It was all our fault. Everything. All of it. Please, Kikuchi-kun. Let us go. We won’t say anything. We’ll make it up however we can. Let us start over, please. I never wanted to do it; it was always them. Hanako and--”

Ainosuke sees her eyes widen and then try to push their way out of their sockets, and a mark appears on her forehead with something dark trickling out of it before Tadashi lets go and Masako’s head falls forward limply. He hadn’t even heard the shot, and a sour taste grows in the back of his throat before he collapses forward himself, his hands resting on the floor as he vomits onto the ground, belatedly realizing that it’s been covered with more of the plastic sheeting. His stomach heaves, bringing up more of his dinner in a slimy mess, and he realizes that he’s crying too, hot tears falling over his cheeks.

What’s going on? Why is Tadashi doing this? What have any of them done to deserve this... this senseless, ruthless execution? He chokes and cries until there’s nothing left for him to bring up, and his throat is raw and disgusting when he finally looks up, knowing what he’ll see. Tadashi’s standing right behind Hanako, his expression impassive as he looks down on his master with his hand resting on the back of the couch.

“Tadashi,” Ainosuke chokes out past the taste of acid on his tongue. “Please...”

Once again, Tadashi removes the gag from the woman’s mouth before nudging her with his gun. Hanako’s always been the strongest of her sisters, the matriarch of the family, and it breaks Ainosuke’s heart to see her shaking with sobs, looking between the corpses surrounding them.

“Kanako... Masako...” she whispers, her voice filled with so much grief that it seems likely to drive Ainosuke mad. But then her eyes harden, and she tilts her head back to spit at Tadashi, her saliva striking him on the cheek and mingling with Kanako’s blood.

“You won’t intimidate me, servant. What do you know about nobility, when you sneak into our rooms in the middle of the night and force us here at gunpoint? When you coerce us to lie with our lives in the balance? Go ahead and kill me! Show Ainosuke that we were right to separate him from your foul influence! Watch, Ainosuke! This is how the lower-class creatures live!”

“Tadashi! Auntie!” Ainosuke cries out, even as Tadashi says, “As you wish.”

And a third shot rings out, echoing in his ears.

He doesn’t know how long he’s knelt there with vomit soaking into his pants, staring at the ground because it’s better than looking up. He doesn’t even realize that Tadashi has moved until the older man is kneeling right next to him, and then Ainosuke is scrambling away in a wild panic until he’s backed himself against the wall. He still doesn’t understand, but it’s his turn next: it must be. Tadashi’s too smart to leave any witnesses to the crime, and he’s clearly thought it through to ensure that any mess is easy to clean up and hide. He’s probably got a perfect plan for disposing of the bodies, too, in a way that they won’t ever be found. Maybe even for Tadashi to disappear as well.

There’s something dark lying on the ground between them, and Ainosuke’s watery eyes are drawn toward it, and he flinches when he recognizes the gun with Tadashi’s hand lying on top of it. But the hand retreats, leaving the weapon behind, and he looks up at the man he thought he knew but he clearly didn’t, sitting in seiza in front of him.

“If you wish to take revenge, Ainosuke-sama, I won’t stop you.”

The coldness is gone, but Tadashi’s voice is as flat and colorless as it’s always been since their separation. Glassy-eyed with shock, Ainosuke stares at him, afraid of a trick. But as the silence stretches between them and Tadashi doesn't move a muscle, Ainosuke lunges forward to grab the gun and whips back just as quickly, the weapon heavy in his hands as he points it at the other man. And Tadashi just sits there.

His finger creaks on the trigger as he remembers his aunts, the women who gave up their own futures to ensure that he would be successful at everything he put his mind to. Who taught him how to navigate the messy world of human relations and politics. Who ensured that he learned how to prioritize, that he understood his role as the scion of a family of status. Who loved him.

And Tadashi had killed them all. Heartlessly, with the same efficiency with which he handled everything else.

"Why?" he asks, his hands shaking. "Why, Tadashi?"

"Because you deserve to be free."

What does that even mean? He wants to pull the trigger, to end Tadashi's life just as easily as Tadashi ended his aunts', but no matter how much he tries, it's as if he's frozen. But Tadashi just waits patiently, looking up at him calmly, until the gun finally falls from his hands, thunking on the floor.

And then Tadashi is sweeping him into his arms, hugging him, and Ainosuke's tears flow freely as he hugs his family's murderer back, desperate for warmth. It's wrong. It's so wrong that he can't even find the words to describe just how fucked up this whole situation is. But he can't kill Tadashi, even after all this.

"It's okay, Ainosuke-sama. It's because you're kind. But you're safe, I promise. I'll be here for you. I'll teach you."

The words are soft and reassuring, words that don't match what Tadashi has just done, but Ainosuke still clings to him helplessly, hating himself and hating Tadashi. Then, Tadashi stands up, hefting Ainosuke in his arms before starting to carry him back to his room.

He helps Ainosuke change out of his soiled clothes and gets him a glass of water, helping him to drink before tucking him into bed, as if his master is a child again. Then he leaves, murmuring something about cleaning up the mess. And Ainosuke lies in bed, staring at the ceiling and praying that it was all a nightmare, that it'll go away when he wakes up in the morning.

[Part 2]

[pjstafford]

Meditation on The Mind of Winter song by David Duchovny.

David Duchovny's newest album is Gestureland. The song Mind of Winter is not my favorite song off the album, but it is the song that causes me to think the most. The Mind of Winter reference is to a poem by Wallace Stevens called The Snow Man. Some recent viewers of The Chair likely heard David Duchovny strumming his guitar and singing a few lines from Mind of Winter and heard Sandra Oh say "That's the only rock song I've heard that references Wallace Stevens" With all of that as the backdrop of this song, I wanted to share my thoughts on the lyrics.

First, let me express what the Stevens poem means to me. Worth noting that I did not study this poem in any academic sense or read much on it and so, my thoughts on it are my own and the reader of this may not agree or may have, in fact, more knowledge. However, these are my meditations. So, when I read The Snow Man I see two themes in opposition to each other (which is something that I enjoy).

The first is that the snowman must devoid himself of the emotion connected with winter to appreciate the landscape of winter. The second is that the snowman must be himself well familiar with cold and winter to see beyond the misery of winter and become unfeeling within that landscape.

The first appeals to me as a philosophy in that if we can devoid ourselves of preferring the beach in summer or knowing any of the literary imagery of the winter months or having walked in a snowstorm or fallen on ice, then we can experience the now and the moment and beauty of frost and junipers shagged with ice. It is the same way to me of how I see the beauty of the desert which is the environment in which I was raised and in which I now live. It has an amazing beauty if you stop associating it with concepts of a barren wasteland of heat and thirst.

The second causes my heart to feeze but I understand it so well. When you have lived without rain, then you can become accustomed to drought. In the poem then we take all the imagery of winter cold to heart and think that because I have not had warmth I have become immune to the element of cold. My emotions have frozen over because I have not felt the emotions of passion or caring I might prefer to have known.

This frames me, then, in a way for the contradictory elements in David Duchovny's song The Mind of Winter. The refrain hook of I swear that I'll be simpler is repeated in a song that seems to be not simple at all and sung by a character so complex that simpler is not possible. I have to remind myself that this is not a song of The Snow man. It is a song reflecting only a reference to the phrase The Mind of Winter from the poem The Snow Man.

So the song begins with a journey. As opposed to the snowman who cannot journey. There was weather everywhere on this journey and I bring in the emotion I have to the concept of "weather everywhere". That makes it a hard and dangerous "stormy" journey. A pretender on the throne could be someone usurping your place in a marriage or a stepfather to your kids, but it could also be a King or President who doesn't really belong in the position- but in looking back there didn't seem to be a silver-tongued pleaser who could rise to the times - another love to take the place in the relationship you've lost or possibly the person who could unite a nation?

Then the character explains the reason for the journey- if you hadn't put the words on me - if I could grow up and throw away the maps and geography. Did you tell me I was smart? Did you tell me I was born poor? Did you tell me I was a man and made me think toxic masculinity was the norm? Was I expected to get married? Was I expected to be a father? Was I expected to be a stud in order to be a man? How much of who I am and what I've done in my life is because of who I was told I was and what I was supposed to do? Can I become a better, more self-aware and self-actualized human being through this journey? Wow- that's a really great verse.

Then the chorus and If I come back sounds like he is not sure he will make it back due to the dangers of the journey, but it could also be that he will choose not to come back to the life he led or from which he fled. Perhaps he will be an expatriate never to return to his country. But if he does come back he will be simpler (I will wait to discuss this further). Then the refrain from The Snowman I"'ll have a mind of winter. (a mind that will live in the moment now on whatever landscape he finds himself, will not judge the moment or the landscape based on preconceptions or will learn to accept the frozen conditions of a life without love?}

The next verse is the verse I have the most difficultly understanding. I keep thinking there are references contained within this verse not to the Mind of Winter, but to other works I cannot connect. Certainly, the person is lost at sea without land in sight. Yet, he does not accept a landless condition or the beauty of the sea as a merman (a play on Snowman) might. This is a desperate man with no end in sight to his misery and in the fog which I am interpreting as the noise, the cloud, the environment which surrounds him, he sees blame and people pointing at him, blaming him, shaming him. Perhaps they are keeping him from the land because he is not deserving. He falls to his knees among the birds and dying bees. He is desperate. When I think of the birds and the bees I think of sex. But why the dying bees? Here I think this is a call to an environmental awakening because the bees are dying, folks! Then he tries to find his tongue to trace the maiden name of God. Ok, I still think of sex, but I also think of mother earth. I have heard about the rare Jewish use of the name El Shaddai which means nurturing God or the God that should be sufficient? I don't know enough about it to know if it fits within these words.

I need to have more knowledge or more meditation but for now, I think it has the double meaning of we are adrift with no way to solve our ecological disaster and restore mother earth and the man is adrift and is to blame and he must find his connection to the sacred within women so he can understand and relate to the harm he's done. Again, this is the verse I am the least sure about even my own interpretations or what I am reading into them.

However, the next verse reinforces what I believe I understood from the verse before which is that nature is wounded and we need to throw away all of our deadly philosophy around conquering, claiming, drilling and mining and learn to live in a more harmonious coexistent with mother earth. Also, that if I can feel my own pain and the pain of others and live the isolation I deserve then I can arrive at a place where I can both appreciate the landscape and the life I have at the moment I am in now AND that I have adjusted to the lack of warmth in my life enough to not seek warmth for the sake of warmth alone. Either way, the verse takes us back to the reason for the journey - I need to learn who I would be if I could shed myself of your deadly philosophy.

Then the chorus again. So does simpler mean I will have fewer expectations for myself? Does it mean I will stop consuming as much and try to leave a footprint of less ecological impact? I think it means both. I will have a mind of winter and be ok with where I am at now because that is all any of us can do. I will live life simpler so I don't destroy the planet more?

I think this song is very reflective of the title of the album Gestureland because we all want to reflect our identity and what it means - are we woke, or we politically correct, are we fuck the establishment, but all of that is complicated. Does the snowman have to wear a sign saying snowman for you to know that's what he is? Less noise. Simpler. But then I start thinking of everything is noise, and then the I can't reverse line from chapter and verse, and I am back to all the songs in the album which, without this being a theme album, fits so well together. Then I relisten to it all and find this is the song I stop at to mediate on a bit more.

Go to DavidDuchovny.com to read the lyrics to Mind of Winter and to wherever you find music to listen to it.

[rianzodiac]

A thank you to the signs

[thank you for all being so freaking legendary]

Aries

Aries, yous are some of the most head strong people alive, but that is you strength and why you are so admirable. Aries make the change in the world. You are assertive in your beliefs and you may not always be right, but you will always, without fail, fight for what you think is right which is what makes you truly heroic. Your charismatic personality makes you likeable and your excitable, carefree character is contagious ensuring that people always feel great around you. Your ambition and drive is heartwarming, never stop trying, the world will surely end when yous Aries give up.

Taurus

Yous are truly the fuzzy blankets of astrology: soft, comforting, reliable and everyone should have one in their lives! You guys are the warm hugs we all need when life gets tough. You are genuine and are not afraid to tell us how it is, but you won’t be mean about it, you’ll tell us what we need to hear and still be there to mop up our tears after. You are the definition of a loyal friend; you will be by our sides even as we walk through hell, just so we can fight the demons together. I would like to say a thank you to the sign we all need to hug back every once in a while.

Gemini

Geminis, yous are the life of the party, the popular, witty, outgoing icons we all love - and for good reason. Your electric personalities are enticing and addictive, you draw countless people in but your real power lies in making them stay. As soon as people have you as a friend, they hold on and never let go. You are the ray of sunshine we all need on our darkest days. You know that you may not be able to solve all of our problems and so you resort to the next best thing - distracting us and reminding us that life is for living. You reignite the love and happiness many lose in their hearts through your humour and joy of making others laugh. But there’s another, more hidden side to you, you are smart and curious of the world around you. You never stop wondering about the places and people that surround which is why you lead such stimulating conversations. Never stop educating us and making us happy, we needs you more than we ever let on.

Cancer

Not everyone can be so in touch with their emotions, only the brave have the power to do that and you manage to do it with such grace and beauty. Never let them tell you that you’re too dramatic, showing emotion is the bravest thing many of us are too scared to do. Your openness with your emotions fools many into believing you are weak, but never will they make that mistake again as you are one of the most fiercely loyal and protective friends with the kindest hearts. You know what it’s like to be hurt and never want others to suffer that way. Your experience with emotions enables you to pick up on others; trust your intuition, it serves you reliably. And along with your humble and optimistic attitude to life, you make some of the most loving people to ever walk the earth.

Leo

Leo’s are the ones you notice as soon as they walk in a room, your liveliness and contagious high energy is a huge reason so many love you and crave your vibe. Never underestimate your influence as you have the ability to change the atmosphere of a room just with your presence. Your passion for what you love is admirable and your bravery when facing the world makes you one of the most inspiring signs of whom we could all learn a lesson from. They say you’re confident and you have every right to be, stay strong our powerful little lions.

Virgo

Virgos, you strive for an excellence that many never thought possible. Your complete faith in what can be accomplished enables you to emerge victorious in anything you set your mind to. Your work ethic is motivational, whenever you do something, you fully commit to it which is why the rest of us know we can always rely on you. Your organisational skill are enviable and that’s why you’re probably known as the parent of the group, you are on point at planning group days out. Your forward thinking is why many of the gestures you make, even if you don’t think they are, are incredibly thoughtful and appreciated more than you will ever know. So thank you Virgos because without you, we’d never get anything done and our lives would be filled with a lot less surprises.

Libra

Libras, yous are the sign that can get along with anyone. Your adverse reaction to conflict is perhaps what makes you so lovable and why everyone enjoys to be around you. You’re always tactful and diplomatic which highlights your immense strength as not everyone can contain themselves as well as you, especially when faced with tension. You are the sign that is a friend to all and makes sure no one is left alone. Never mistake your easy going and peaceful manner for being submissive for your ability to thrive with all is what makes your character so powerful. You play such a vital role in the world, you are the glue that holds so many relationships, families and friendships together, and don’t you forget it. We all turn to you when we need a friend we can trust so thanks for being there.

Scorpio

Hello the fearless warriors of the zodiac. The absolute determination and perseverance you have when approaching anything and everything is a testament to your power as you really can do anything you set your mind to. You’re clever and that gives you the skill set to complete any goal and challenges that come your way. You come off as mysterious, use that to your advantage, everyone loves a good mystery. Just as you are powerful and strong, you are also selfless and caring, you always seem to put others before you. Your life is full of altruistic acts, and as much as we always admit it sometimes, we love you for it.

Sagittarius

Sagittarius, you are the spark that never dulls. You teach us all to approach life with a true ‘go get it’ attitude and you will never lead a boring life because of it. Your wild but friendly nature makes you so much fun to be around. You are the friends to take us out on a late night expedition to the beach just for the fun of it. Your truthfulness is also greatly appreciated and your judgment is trusted fully. You are the friends who push us out of our comfort zone and change us and make us great. Thank you Sagittarius’ for being the best, most fun and courageous and wild, version of ourselves.

Capricorn

Capricorn’s are the workers. You are the people who have already or will achieve greatness in the world. You’re ambitious which allows you to set high goals for yourself and that, mixed with your discipline, often sees these plans set into motion. The practical side of you knows your capabilities and what is possible which makes you an effective leader as you have found the perfect balance of promoting hard work but whilst not overwhelming others with pressure; that along with your charismatic way with people makes you rather persuasive, you hold more influence that you believe. You do tend to place high standards for yourself to live up to, but you needn’t, your hard working and diligent nature enables you to achieve success because of who you are. Maybe you don’t realise how extraordinary you are - you are capable of completing tremendous feats, we see it everyday, it’s time you did too.

Aquarius

You’re the people that get people thinking. Whether it be your new look, your new view on a topic or your interactions with others - people will be left with you on their mind for a while. Your courage to be who you really are in a world that isn’t always accepting is admirable. You remind us that we should never have to live up to anyone’s expectations but our own. Your mind works both creatively but also analytically which means anything you create has a deeper meaning and any solution you have come up with is innovative and ‘out of the box’. Though typically considered ‘lone wolves’, you serve people with the purest spirit and care about mankind more than we deserve. Thanks for being the hand to pull us up.

Pisces

Pisces. You remind the world what it is to dream, to create, to love without expectation or applause or recognition. You teach us to express our truest self in a world where that can be frowned upon. You’re wise beyond your years and seem to be born with knowledge of people. Your compassion to everyone you meet reflects your pure, selfless spirit. Your gentle nature reminds everyone that it’s okay to be soft every once in a while but the utter bravery embedded in everything you do inspires us to be tough also. Pisces, you sometimes are a walking contradiction, but of the best sort, you are the soft fur of the wolf but also the forbidding warning of the teeth. Pisces, you teach the world that’s it’s okay not to know entirely who you are, but to express who you feel you are, so please Pisces continue to create, to inspire, to live for us all to follow in your footsteps.

[river--ghost]

The Oracle

summery: Kaykye recounts a time in his childhood when he was warned very explicitly of what his future held.

word count: 2229

warnings: mentions of blood

ao3

No one ever believes they deserve forgiveness.

I certainly don’t. And I know that my brother certainly did.

But most times, it doesn’t matter what you think you deserve. Karma is a merciless beast. It does not sleep. It does not have a deadline.

I wish I’d gotten mine sooner. Perhaps then there wouldn’t have been so much bloodshed. Maybe I wouldn’t have been able to eventually trick myself into believing I could get away with anything.

Maybe the repercussions would have been easier to take. Even if they were inhumane. I deserved every moment.

What I put my pack through. My home. My origins. My family. My brother.

From the very moment I chose anger over support.

There were signs, and I refused to listen.

The first was when I was just boy.

When we were small, my brother and I would spend all our days together. Climbing trees, catching minnows in the streams, laughing and playing. But we had our differences. I would hunt rabbits. He would pick flowers. It didn’t matter to us.

The world felt so big, and it felt as though we owned all of it.

Of course, we never did stray far enough to see the borders of our territory until we were becoming young men. It was never on our minds. To us, it simply made sense that the world was like those linen maps our warriors stretched over pinewood tables, surely if we walked far enough we would careen off the edge. But it was of no consequence to us anyway. Children were as children would always be, all we that we knew was all that mattered.

That was not to say we were completely sheltered from the outside world in our youth, however.

Merchants, hawkers, mercenaries, even entire caravans and traveling bazaars were allowed to pass through our land. It was an unspoken agreement, they would sell us goods from faraway places and in exchange, we would keep them safe from animals and bandits. But this agreement mattered little to me, I’d only known what I’d seen through my lens of youthful ignorance: strange, wonderful creatures of all shapes and sizes.

Such things fascinated my brother and I, yet we had only been allowed to visit a bazaar once, with, to my discontent, our mother in tow.

I recall the day was fine. The sun shone, not a cloud in the sky, it was pleasantly warm. A minor detail but one prevalent only because such days were rare in our northern territory, even in the summer seasons. I wanted to speak with the strangers, hear their tales from faraway lands, I was certain such days were common where they were from. The grass is always greener on the other side and all that.

But when we were so small, Mother acted as though she never wanted to let go of our hands. She loved us, truly, a remarkable woman. I remember her eyes, always full of care and tenderness. Eos rest her kind soul. She deserved much better than the fate she received, and there is not a day that passes that I wish I had not taken her for granted. Though, I digress.

Despite Mother’s bearlike protectiveness, I was rather overjoyed at the prospect of seeing the foreigners for myself instead of simply listening to stories the full-growns shared of their time in the bazaars.

It was truly the first time I’d realized perhaps our world was bigger than I could imagine, that what I knew was only a small corner of it. Though my brother was not as pleased with this discovery as I was.

Daku had always been a shy sort of character, and unlike myself, likely would not have enjoyed the bazaar without someone else’s hand in his.

I recall with a smile that, with the promise of keeping him safe from the strangers, I convinced him to exchange holding Mother’s hand for mine. After all, we were the alpha’s boys, we were unstoppable together.

It’s fascinating, I think, to look back and realize that a silver tongue was something I’d always had. Even if, at the time, convincing Mother that we could handle ourselves if we stayed with each other while we wandered off seemed like a grand feat.

Daku was skeptical to leave her behind. But he conceded as she did. He trusted her judgments. She trusted mine.

We’d seen all sorts of oddities that day. Strange foods, objects, relics. Strange people, with feathers, or scales, or bare skin instead of fur. With more or less than than one tail. With more or less than for arms. With magic, without. With tools, weapons. With stories.

That was the day my brother and I were first introduced to different types of magic. Ones that did not only empower the body, but the mind.

The oracle was the first I’d seen, and I was not inclined to believe her, or care about what she had to say.

Daku was the one who’d taken an interest in her tent. It looked scary, and I’d thought, this is the sort of adventure that costed the hero more than they had been willing to lose. But it was the one thing my brother had shown genuine interest in, so I agreed to follow him inside. We would stick together, I promised him, after all.

The tent seemed darker the first moments we stepped in, as our eyes had to adjust to the candle-lit setting after being outside in the sunlight all morning. The woman inside had greeted us in a language that we could not understand. Suddenly Daku was not as daring as he had been a moment ago, hiding behind me.

I responded to her first, with a meager, “Uhm.. Hello…”

“Welcome, wolf cubs.” She spoke with an accent. I’d had to take a moment to understand her. “You have come to know what is to come.”

“..You.. can read the future?” Daku had asked, sheepishly peering over my shoulder.

“It is your fortune that I can see, little pup,” the old woman responded. The golden light of the candles illuminated the wrinkles that creased her face when she smiled.

It sounded like nonsense to me. I wanted to go see the men juggling the jewel-studded scimitars again, not listen to some furless old lady spin some story about something that could easily be faked.

I started to shake my head and turn to leave, but Daku tugged at my cloak, his way of silently pleading with me for just one more minute to see what the woman was about. I agreed with reluctance. My brother flashed me a happy smile and inquired, “How does it work?”

“With some assistance from a friend.” Her hands formed a ball, and within them an orb appeared seemingly out of cloud and sun.

Daku’s eyes filled with wonder. I thought it must have been a clever act of misdirection, a trick of the light, but I had to admit I was a little won over by it. Maybe this wouldn’t be so boring.

“Woah… C-can you tell us our fortune?” Daku asked, bouncing on his toes.

“Hm.. Most often, I require coin..”

My brother deflated a little. He turned to me. “We didn’t bring any coin, did we?”

I shook my head. Coin was for the full-growns, it was something we used only for trade. We had not planned to trade for anything.

“But..” Her velvety eyes twinkled. “There is a special aura about you two. I will serve for free, if you are still willing.”

Daku gave me another pleading look. I could not keep my smile contained.

“Fine…”

“Wonderful. Approach, little ones.”

We did so. She ushered Daku closer first with the twitch of her finger, and as he stood before her, she hovered her palm over the orb of light.

“Young wolf, what is your name?”

“..D-Daku..” he answered, shifting his weight between his feet in anticipation. “..Of the Matsumaru Pack.”

The candles seemed to dim and flicker. I watched them with mild curiosity as the oracle’s eyes closed.

“You.. Daku Matsumaru, you have a long life ahead of you. Sorrow and fortune await you.”

This time I had to force myself to contain my smirk. The old bat probably said the same to all of her clients. But it seemed to make Daku happy, so I didn’t wish to break the illusion. She continued on.

“A great hardship, but you will be rewarded in the end. Your journey will not be in vain. Remember that there are more people by your side than you allow yourself to perceive.

“…What… What kind of hardship?” Daku asked. I’d noticed he’d started to wring his hands.

“A long, lonely one.”

At that, I did scoff.

“Now I know you’re making stuff up. He’ll never be lonely because he’ll always have me.” I’d slung my arm around my brother’s shoulders. Daku gave me a smile, nerves eased.

“Will he?”

The look the oracle gave me was unreadable. I didn’t know what she could be thinking but something about her expression sent a shiver slithering down my spine.

“What else can you tell me? B-besides the.. hardship.. part..,” Daku stammered, likely sensing my discomfort.

Her eyes softened when the attention was directed back to him. Something churned in my stomach. What was with this lady? I wondered, one of my ears flicking in annoyance, if it was because I’d wanted to leave. A dismissal for a dismissal. It seemed petty to me.

“I see admiration. A great hero not only to the Matsumaru Pack, but all of its neighbors.”

“What?” I couldn’t help but burst out. “But he’s so timid! He doesn’t even handle a sword!”

If I’d bothered to look, I would have seen Daku’s gaze fall to the floor.

The old woman did not grace my exclamation with a response. Instead, she asked me, “What is your name?”

“…Kaykye, of the Matsumaru Pack,” I responded, puffing out my chest. Daku was not a proud entity, but our pack certainly was. He does not display such in his greetings, so I would be proud for him.

“…Kaykye Matsumaru.”

Again, I felt my fur stand on end. She didn’t say my name like she had Daku’s. She’d spoken it like the name of a deadly poison. As though she were a mother warning her pups of a plant that they should avoid eating, or a dangerous creature they needed to watch out for.

I was frowning now. My brother wrapped his arm around my shoulders too for a moment, though backed away when the oracle’s hands slammed down on the table with a mighty thud. He backed away and hid behind me.

Again, she placed her hand over the orb. I didn’t want her to read my fortune, but she was speaking before I could protest. I would not soon forget what I would hear.

“Kaykye Matsumaru will be a disease to his kin! Blood flows like a lethal flood on the path he walks, a monster will grow within you for all eternity, and until Kaykye perishes, for what you have done you will know no peace for the rest of your days!”

The candles blew out and my legs gave way. I may have acted tough when I was a boy, but I was still just that: a young boy. I had not been prepared to hear such a thing and neither had my brother. I barely recognized the terrified shriek as his. My head was swimming and all I could hear was the screams of my pack, the images flashing in my mind of swords and blood and war, and some monster that bore my face.

I had been staring at my hands when the tent flap was thrown open.

“Daku! Kaykye!” my mother had cried, alerted by the sound of my brother’s shriek. She’d rushed to our sides, lifted me to my feet and held me close. I had not embraced her back.

She threatened the old woman and told her never to go near her boys again.

The oracle merely replied that it wouldn’t be a concern. That she was fleeing this dimension while she could. That I hadn’t a clue of the storm awaiting me.

Sometimes I wonder, if her boys hadn’t been watching, if she would have spilled the oracle’s blood then and there, and that would have been the first time a life was taken because of me.

We went home early. Mother had told me that she would not let that happen, that there was nothing bad coming. Father told me to stop listening to such lies from a foreigner, that the sun would not set on us, that my potential was for greatness, not destruction. The elders had shared similar opinions.

Daku tried to tell me he didn’t really believe the old woman was telling the truth. She was only saying that to scare me, and she was cruel for doing so.

I thought it unlikely. She did not receive any coin from us. She risked the anger of the wolves by frightening the Matsumaru alpha’s youngest son.

There would be no benefit in lying, other than to stir up chaos.

I did not utter a word to anyone.

I did not believe them.

And I did not sleep that night.

[felipeandletizia]

December 24, 2020: King Felipe’s Christmas Message.

Good night. I come to you this Christmas Eve when we are experiencing truly exceptional circumstances due to the pandemic.

Many families have not been able to meet tonight as you had thought due to health measures; and in thousands of homes there is a void that is impossible to fill due to the death of your loved ones, whom I now want to remember with emotion and with all respect. A memory that fills our hearts with very deep feelings. And also, at this time, many citizens fight against the disease or its consequences at home, in hospitals or in nursing homes. Today I send you all my greatest encouragement and affection.

2020 has been a very tough and difficult year. The virus has entered our lives bringing suffering, sadness or fear; it has altered the way we live and work, and has seriously affected our economy, even paralyzing or destroying many businesses.

Many citizens and families live the anguish of unemployment or precariousness; the anguish of barely meeting basic needs; Or do you feel the sadness of having to abandon a business to which you have dedicated your life. For all this it is logical and understandable that discouragement or distrust are very present in so many homes.

And yet, the response to a crisis as serious as the one we are experiencing cannot come from the hand of more discouragement or more distrust. The situation is dire. But even so, we have to face the future with determination and confidence in ourselves, in what we are capable of doing together, with courage and hope; with confidence in our country and in our model of democratic coexistence.

We have reasons for this; because over the last decades, faced with serious difficulties, we have always been able to overcome them. And this situation that we are experiencing is not going to be different from the others; because neither the virus nor the economic crisis are going to break us.

Regarding the health situation, it is clear that overcoming this disease will come thanks to science and research. The new treatments against the virus and the development of vaccines that are underway already offer us great hope. But in the meantime, we have a lot to do.

Individual responsibility remains essential and is an effective instrument in the fight against the virus. That is why it is so important to stay alert and not lower our guard.

We once again thank the health workers for their enormous effort, their extraordinary professionalism and their great humanity with the ill. They faced the first attacks of the virus in extreme situations and also overflow in some of our hospitals. Today they continue to face this fight with a great emotional and physical burden on their shoulders. We ask you to maintain all your courage and strength and continue to take care of our health.

The other big problem and challenge is the economic crisis and avoid, above all, that it leads to a social crisis. Each person matters a lot. Therefore, individuals and families must be our primary concern. Especially our young people; their unemployment level is extremely high, and they cannot be the losers in this situation. Our youth deserve to have the most appropriate training, to grow personally and professionally, and to be able to carry out their projects. Spain cannot afford a lost generation.

Protecting the most vulnerable and fighting the inequalities that the pandemic has created or exacerbated is a matter of dignity among those of us who form the same political community. But it will also be essential to recover our economy.

And for this, it is decisive to strengthen the business and productive, industrial and service fabric. The recognition and support of our companies, the protection of our freelancers and merchants, so hit these months, will be essential to create jobs, that job that our country so badly needs. We therefore need to consolidate the foundations that give us a clear horizon of economic momentum, stability and confidence, which encourages investment and the creation of jobs.

The health, economic and social challenges we face are therefore great… enormous, but not insurmountable. Overcoming them constitutes a great national objective that must unite us all; that, as citizens, commits and obligates us all; with ourselves, with others and with our country.

And this requires a great collective effort, a great effort in which each one continues to give the best of themselves according to their responsibilities and to the extent of their abilities.

For this great national effort, we have in the first place what is most important: people; with the example of thousands of citizens who have put their work at the service of others, who have lived these last months with selflessness, commitment and great generosity. People who stimulate our spirit of improvement and of whom we should be justly proud.

All of this has been personally verified by the Queen and I during this time. In the field and in the sea; in towns and cities; in the markets, in the factories we have seen the courage and the nerve of this country. We have felt the pulse of our society which, despite everything, has kept Spain on its feet.

We both have in our memory the living image of those thousands of citizens who represent a society that has felt more united than ever in its struggle and resistance against such an adverse situation; a society that has effective and supportive organizations so that no one feels alone or helpless; a society that has endured these hard months with integrity, responsibility and serenity.

We therefore have a strong society and also a solid state. During all this time, both public and basic services, as well as companies in essential sectors have worked well, trying to put all the means at their disposal. The pandemic has revealed to us aspects that need to be improved and reinforced, but it also shows us our strengths as an advanced State. We have verified this, for example, with the efficiency and dedication of our Armed Forces, our Security Forces, Civil Protection and Emergency services, and many other public servants, who have demonstrated their dedication to service and their full harmony with our society.

And Europe is also very important to face this crisis. We have the European Union, which has made a firm commitment to sustainability and economic recovery in the face of this pandemic. The Union offers us a historic opportunity to progress and advance; opens a new era for Spain to join in a common project to modernize our economy; adapt our production structures to the new industrial, technological and environmental revolution that we are experiencing. And establish with ambition and cohesion our collective role as members of the EU before the world.

And above all we count on our system of democratic coexistence. At a time when the pandemic and its economic and social consequences cause so much uncertainty, our Constitution guarantees us our way of understanding life, our vision of society and of the human being; of their dignity, of their rights and freedoms. A Constitution that we all have a duty to respect; and that in our days, it is the foundation of our social and political coexistence; and that represents, in our history, a success of and for democracy and freedom.

Let us not forget that the advances and progress achieved in democracy are the result of the reunion and the pact between the Spaniards after a long period of confrontations and divisions. They are the result of wanting to look to the future together, united in democratic values; united in an always inclusive spirit, in respect for plurality and differences, and in the ability to dialogue and reach agreements. They are principles that never lose their validity over the years.

And together with our democratic principles and compliance with the laws, we also need to preserve the ethical values ​​that are at the roots of our society.

Already in 2014, in my Proclamation before the General Courts, I referred to the moral and ethical principles that citizens claim from our conduct. Some principles that oblige us all without exceptions; and that they are above any consideration, of whatever nature, even personal or family ones.

This is how I have always understood it, in coherence with my convictions, with the way I understand my responsibilities as Head of State and with the renewing spirit that inspires my Reign from day one.

I have always thought that Spain is an extraordinary country, of enormous wealth and cultural diversity, built over the centuries thanks to the efforts of many generations of Spaniards, and with a great history that has been, for a time, history itself of our world.

We are not a people who give up or resign themselves in bad times. It will not be easy to overcome this situation, and in each house you know it well. But I am sure that we will succeed. With effort, union and solidarity, Spain will move forward. With everyone and for everyone. And, as King, I will be with everyone and for everyone, not only because it is my duty and my conviction, but also because it is my commitment to all of you, to Spain.

It will not be difficult for the year 2021 to improve to this 2020. We are going to regain normality as much as possible in the workplace, in the classrooms, in the squares and in the neighborhoods; in shops, in markets, in bars; in cinemas, in theaters ...; in everyday life that shapes the character of a society like ours.

It's what we all want. And in the assurance that this will be the case, the Queen, the Princess of Asturias, the Infanta Sofía and I sincerely thank you for all the expressions of affection and support that you have transmitted to us this year, and we wish you a Merry Christmas and all the best for an especially hopeful 2021.

Eguberri on. Bon Nadal and Boas festas.