#because we are actually talking about the lives of real human beings who deserve privacy and respect.

[bonecarversbestie]

why do you hate azriel, what is there to hate about him he's quiet and polite? just curious

Thank you so much for asking, I’ve been waiting to talk about this topic for a long time.

For your pleasure and convenience, I’ve organized my points into an easily digestible numbered list:

Caution: Azriel criticism ahead

First, his particular brand of emo broodiness is just not my cup of tea, and I enjoy scenes less when he is lurking in the corner.

Similar to how some people dislike Nesta because they have been hurt by someone like her, I have never liked Az because I’ve had someone in my real life pine after me like he did to Mor (read: super obvious, with no encouragement from me, in a way that made me feel guilty for not returning their feelings and everyone around us felt uncomfy/like they needed to buffer the situation)

I didn’t appreciate that he wasn’t a very good chaperone to Nesta. If the IC was going to force her into “rehab” they were obligated to protect her while she was there (including from Cassian). I accept that Az was busy spying on Briallyn, but even when he was around it seemed clear that he did not take his chaperoning very seriously.  

The hero complex. I get that this comes from his trauma and low self esteem – he doesn’t value his life as much as the lives of his family, but he also knows that they are all competent and strong, and trying to take on every risky task to keep them from darkness or danger is not practical, possible or fair.

The torturing people thing – yes it’s his job, and sometimes it’s justified like with the Attor. But torturing Eris’s soldiers was wrong especially because it was clear they were not in their right minds and Eris is an ally to their court. He also alludes to torturing people for information in the human queens’ castle. Yes, some of them may have been sympathetic to Briallyn’s cause, but how many were just humans working their 9 to 5? After Eris’s soldiers I don’t trust him to make ethical decisions about choosing his victims.

I’m uncomfortable with how easily he can invade the privacy of others with his shadowsinger gifts. We don’t have evidence that he abuses these gifts, but I don't completely trust him either. (see point 5, ethical decision making)

Most of my reasons for disliking Azriel actually have little to do with ships, but as he relates to Lucien: I don’t like how little respect he seems to have for Lucien and Elain’s bond while apparently wanting a mating bond himself. And his assertion that Lucien doesn’t deserve Elain despite being her mate, and despite the fact that Lucien has been nothing but polite and cooperative since arriving in the Night Court rubs me the wrong way.

And as for Elain: I think he will be yet another person in her life who is overly protective and coddling rather than someone who will empower and encourage her to grow (see point 4: hero complex) I also never got the impression that his feelings for her come from a place of genuine interest in Elain as a person. I cannot blame him for being interested in someone who is kind and beautiful, but I think that’s all she is to him. Elain is also extremely vulnerable and isolated at this point in her story and it seems like he is just pursuing her because she’s there and available (and per the bonus chapter he feels at least some amount of entitlement to her).

His temper is a red flag. Even Rhys admits that Az still sometimes scares the shit out of him. He could have ruined everything at the High Lord meeting by taking Eris’s bait, and he had to be called off by Feyre. It gave the same vibe as a child having to sit by the teacher because they can’t keep their hands to themselves.

Doesn’t want to write poetry. Not very romantic if you ask me. Doesn’t need to resort to it? Or doesn’t know how? Sounds like a skill issue.

[kanmom51]

JK's live 4 March 2023 1:47 am KST

Part 1

Cr./ to all the creators of the media used in this post.

This is a hard one for me.

It' took me time to sit myself down and watch the actual whole live, and I preferred to wait for the Weverse full translation before coming here to write my post.

I assume most of you read my post about JK's previous live, but to those of you who haven't:

JK coming back live more or less 24 hours after I posted that, still while discussing my thoughts I put down to paper in that post, that hit hard for me.

I know, as usual there were those wearing rose tinted glasses unwilling to see JK, not for real. Not in the last live and not now either.

I am glad many are taking to heart his honest words about being harassed by so called fans (he was so respectful even though these people deserve no respect what so ever, but that's JK for you in a nutshell), asking, pleading to be able to have the privacy he deserves.

And I saw many enjoyed the live, his singing, his dancing, Tae popping in, and it's alright. It's also alright if you can't see that not all is well. Even though it's screaming in our faces. Because even if you don't see it, just being there, showering him with positive love like many of you do is good enough. It's kind of the most that us fans can do in any case.

That and reporting, blocking accounts and people that are out to harass and hurt him and JM. Not share their disgusting crap. It's not about likes for our accounts, it's about trying to protect those two, make their lives a little easier, a little safer, allowing them a sense of security.

While writing these lines I came by the new postings from that deranged, supposedly not sasaeng that uploaded the clip of JK from the gym. Please do not follow this person. And if you come by her postings, please report them. Send to BH. I, for obvious reasons, will not share her vile posts, but she has to be gone, like yesterday.

Moving on.  I guess I'm here to talk about this over 2 hours and 20 minutes live right?

I’m not going to get into every single little thing that happened but I do want to touch on a few things.

First of all, the playlist. JK was singing his heart out during this live.  Like the first hour or so is mainly JK singing and dancing and going to get himself some water, and then some beer, and dancing some more and singing some more.

JK on a beer run.

He does some of that in the second half of the live too, but in that second half is where the interesting talk happens.  His plea for privacy, Tae showing up and JK talking to him, at him, not sure which.  Did I mention he inserted Tae's name into song lyrics too? Lol. 

The way he loves Army, I just cannot describe it.  We know he does, cause, and I’ve mentioned this before, he says it, writes it in letters to Army, writes songs for Army, cries for and with Army, and he does things for Army, to make them happy.

So, he sang Naatu Naatu and Indian Army were overjoyed.  He just wants to please us.  Make us happy.

I kind of think we should be doing the same.  As Army.  Sending him our love.  Showing him just how much we respect him.  See him for the person he is, the human being he is, and love him for it.  I know there is no IG now, but there is Weverse. And even for the smallest possibility that JK might see our messages, we need to keep sending them to him. You know #to_Jungkook.

Oh, and call out those that don’t respect him too. 

Sidetracked. 

That’s kind of my second name now days…

Anyways, here’s a link to the playlist from his live:

Ooh, and we got 10,000 hours again. You know, right?

That man is the cutest thing ever (well it’s a super close competition with his bf, but at the moment JK’s in the lead).  Oh, we also had JK farting, bless his heart (I feel like a mama with that joyous feeling after your baby burps and passed gas, lmao).  The way he waves his hand to get rid of the smell though.  And him excusing it with: a. he’s human (yes, he told us we fart too in Busan, we remember that); and b. it’s not his fault, it’s the gassy drink. 

Did I mention he was cute?  I mentioned he was cute, right? Lol

He kept doing these close ups to the camera, used the light from the live screen to check out where to put the batteries for his mic, lol.  Showing us his beer, showing us the candle, showing us himself.

We got JK and his ASMR candle (on and off during the live).

JK listened to Hobi’s song for the first time during this live.  Twice.  Going back to see the lyrics too.

Have we noticed by now that JK’s coat, JK’s stuff, seem to be laying on the sofa.  Like he just came in or is just going out or just doesn’t seem to give the ora of permanency?

This is a man that we know to be tidy.  I mean:

We know which suitcase was JK’s.  He literally showed us.

And he does have empty, lonely clothes rack just there, you know, waiting for his homey stuff to be hung up… unless, wait, this isn’t much of a home of his…

JK was talking with Army, checking comments, replying to them.  But he wasn’t playing the game, so to speak.  You know, the one where he seems to be available for them.  Do you know what I mean?

The three second or minute “we’re dating game”, he wasn’t up to it.

Someone asking to eat his cheeks (ewww, cringe), he wasn’t having it.

As I mentioned, and you all know by now, cause you know, no way the cult wouldn’t shut up about it, Tae commented during JK’s live.

JK’s reaction to Tae joining was nice.  Not overjoyed.  Not over interactive with him.  I mean, he did answer his questions, but was also that’s that.  He continued looking for songs to sing, then inserted Tae in the song he sang, went to see if Tae was still there, and he wasn’t, so his reaction was kind of “oh ok, he’s gone”, and moving on.

The comments above aren’t exactly in the order they were on the live…

Then he vocalizes - sings:  How fun, Tae Tae’s here…

JK’s asked to sing Lemon, and he’s going through the process of looking for the song, and just before the song starts this happens...

Tae comments about the beer drinking and gaining weight.  Yeah sure Tae, just the thing to say to the same person that was too skinny just a couple of weeks back and that his bf was overjoyed he was eating. 

But you see, JK doesn’t seem bothered by Tae’s comments, lol.

His answer is to the likes of “well, I have to finish off the beer in the house, don’t I?” – iron logic indeed, lol.

So he stops it a second to answer.

And once again he’s about to start when:

So, Tae goes on with “let’s have 50 bottles”.  This wasn’t him suggesting that JK drink 50 bottles.  Him saying there being 50 bottles (as in JK has to drink 50 bottles to get through them), to which JK answers that there aren’t even 10 can’s left.

I wonder if the cult paid attention to that chit chat.  Wouldn’t the bf they claim is living with him in that apartment kind of know how many beers are left in the fridge?  Ok then, not exact number, but seriously, there is a huge difference between 10 and 50, even for means of exaggeration.  Or if they are bottled or canned?  That is a bit of a difference in the fridge, which he supposedly shares, no?

Just one more of those little tiny winey things that disprove their shit.  Which they are full of.

And then JK proceeds to sing the song.

In which, at some point he inserts Taehyungie into his lyrics while looking at the monitor, checking the comments and says:

And continues to sing.

Anyways, once again one of those mate interactions they are so good at.  That’s them.  Good mates.  They are.  They spend time together, talk to each other, play games together, we’ve said it all before. 

But one thing they definitely are not, and that’s a loving romantic couple. 

Period.

To be continued in part 2, which I am going to post immediately after part 1 (Tumblr has become nasty again with the 30 image limit of theirs).

[nottsangel]

I don’t get why people hate on people who don’t deserve it Elaine has done horrible things and pretending like she hasn’t is insane to me not only is she racist said the n word plus played Nazi vs Jew beer pong shes also made cutting her wrists jokes she’s been exposed on all social media accounts expect maybe ig actually no ig as well for being racist Pinterest showed her liking slut shaming photos and pro life photos on her she would comment on fics about jj and get mad when people would say they were uncomfortable both her and Rudy block and unadd comments about her being racist on ask.fm account she was exposed for being a bully she still acts like a mean girl also I really don’t care but what people think videos of her and Rudy that have come out looks like she’s pulling him and if you think that man doesn’t look drained asf now it’s not about thinking they have a chance with him at all cause they know they don’t it’s about how her actions effect people and all the people defending her saying treating her like a normal human we are normal people get called out all the time proof is all over social media also the whole Madison and Elaine thing that happened Elaine posted the your confused I’m fucking confused on ig then deleted it after people saw it and posted a pic pretending she was in nc then someone did the thing where you can see what day it was taken and it was taken weeks ago and Odessa is a Zionist so if these two girls are people you willing support that says more about you then then the “pick me girls” who are actually just calling them out on what they’ve done no one thinks they have a chance with any of those guys plus proof of how horrible they are is all over the internet

gonna reply under the cut. bear with me.

you obviously did not get my point. i was talking about the girls thinking they know rudy and drew and everything about their lives and think they have a say in who they date or not, acting like they’re their mothers and taking it way too far with invading their privacy.

yes, i completely agree with calling people out when they do horrible things. but acting like you’re in their inner circle saying that they’re a bad influence or ‘draining him’ like please. he is not a baby, he is a grown man. if there was something bothering him in the relationship, i’m sure he would communicate that with her like a mature person, and that’s not up to anyone else, especially not outsiders they don’t even know. i genuinely do not understand why people base their entire relationship off some videos and pics. like how do you even think that is a real representation of them

what i also don’t understand is why people are so obsessed with them. if they’ve done bad things, fine call them out and hold them accountable, but be for real, aren’t there bigger problems in your life? it just baffles me that the people saying they hate them are also the ones following them and keeping track of them 24/7 like how does that work. that’s just an obsession. move on with your life. they’re not gonna break up because some random person on the internet told them to

and please, you’ve got to admit that there are plenty of girls hating on elaine and odessa just out of jealousy. we can all see it.

also, i am not defending their actions, at all. i didn’t even know about them, actually. why? because i have better things to do than obsess over every single part of rudy and drew’s life.

all in all, there’s a difference between holding someone accountable and hating and obsessing over them. besides, drew’s and rudy’s private lives is just a line you shouldn’t cross, in my opinion. like i said, they’re actors doing their job. that does not mean their private lives are any of your business.

edit: also i dont know why you think i support them. my whole point is, why are people so obsessed with their lives. i never said i supported them or their actions, because i simply don’t care.

[themattress]

SSR Teppei? Not in Meguri!

I’ve been talking about this recently - it really is interesting how much the depiction of Teppei Houjou in Tatariakashi-hen differs in the Sotsu anime and Meguri manga. It really feels like the former is the ideal outcome for the character, while the latter is the more...realistic one.

In Sotsu, Satoko only asks Teppei to live with her after they’ve been spending time together for quite a while, with it already established that she “forgives” him. Even so, Teppei doesn’t immediately agree to the request until Satoko tells him that she’s being bullied, which he is genuinely distressed about. In Meguri, Satoko asks him immediately after his first time approaching her and apologizing to her, which included him saying that he will gladly leave and never show his face around her again if she so wishes. Her only reasoning is “we can make peace for each other and be a real family”. Given what Teppei had done to her in the past, there is no justified reason he should agree to this, but he does because he’s a fucking idiot who does want to do good now but has no frame of reference for what that looks like.

In Sotsu, Teppei struggles with his desire to do right by Satoko clashing with his ingrained angry, thuggish nature and instinctive resorting to violence to solve his problems. When he starts to realize that his way of doing things will only hurt Satoko further but still desiring to do something and make the situation less dire than “the two of us against the whole village”, as Satoko puts it, he goes to Detective Oishi for help. In Meguri, Teppei seems to recognize immediately that he’s way in over his head with this situation, and his “I’ll handle it!” bravado is clearly performative for Satoko’s sake rather than genuine; the man is a coward and doesn’t actually want to risk doing something that may backfire on him. This is why he is all too receptive when Satoko tells him to go to Oishi...yes, that’s her idea in Meguri, not his.

In Sotsu, Teppei performs dogeza in front of Oishi to secure his help, and does so out in public. The look on his face shows that he still has his pride and hates having to throw it away like this, but he is willing to do so anyway because he truly wants to help Satoko. Even Satoko is shocked that Teppei would go so far on her account. In Meguri, Teppei performs dogeza in front of Oishi in the privacy of his and Satoko’s home, twice, and both times it is thoroughly unnecessary. He isn’t even thinking about his pride, he’s just desperate to do something good and right and “redemptive”, further showing that this buffoon has no idea what the Hell he is doing here. Satoko is shocked at his behavior, but not in a positive way.

In Sotsu, Teppei actually recognizes the root problems of where he went wrong in life, shows remorse for it, and vows to better himself as a person. Satoko then sedates him so that he isn’t present for the phone call with the child protective services. In Meguri, Teppei is present for the phone call, and at the moment of truth where he decides to stop being such a coward and fight for Satoko, he does it in the same way he’s always done things: loud, angry, crass and belligerent. Clearly, he has not learned what his fatal flaws as a human being are and just feels like if he’s behaving this way to help Satoko instead of hurt Satoko then that makes it OK. And then, despite this, he still hesitates when the operator on the other line takes a more threatening tone with him, which allows Satoko the opening to just take the phone from him and handle things himself. Even when he tries to stop being a coward, he fails at it!

In Sotsu, Teppei’s last scene has him acknowledging that a shithead like him doesn’t deserve the happiness he now feels at being an efficient guardian for Satoko. When Satoko then takes out a gun to shoot him with, her psyche fractures, with the human side of her yelling at him to run. But he doesn’t, nor does he attack her to get the gun away, because all of his concern is for her and whatever is plaguing her mentally. By the time the witch side of Satoko takes control, Teppei is still there and crying, not for himself but for his niece, making it all the sadder when she shoots him in the head. In Meguri, Teppei is relieved that the burdensome situation with Satoko being bullied is behind him now and, in a pitiful inner monologue, truly believes that now he can actually begin to redeem himself and change himself for Satoko’s sake. And then Satoko shoots him in the head from behind, with Teppei’s eyes reflecting a brief awareness of what just happened before he dies. Almost as if the universe was telling him “too little, too late”. In Sotsu, Teppei dies as a direct result of actually learning how to redeem himself, which feels terrible and unjust. In Meguri, Teppei dies as a direct result of failing to learn how to redeem himself, which feels inevitable and correct; like nature at work.

The Teppei we see in Sotsu was nicknamed “SSR Teppei” by fans, because it felt like time looping played out like a gaccha game and the loop of Tatariakashi-hen happened to spit out the best possible version of Teppei, one who was “super, special and rare”. Meguri, otoh, produced...just another Teppei, whose remorse for his past sins and good intentions to do right by Satoko were ultimately not enough to make up for what an utterly defective human being he still was. Satoko’s psyche didn’t fracture for him because her human side didn’t fully trust his reformation, and honestly how could she? And while I love SSR Teppei and am glad he’s a thing in the franchise, I appreciate Tomato-san going a more honest direction with the character as he was originally presented, a man who has fucked his life up beyond repair.

[mywingsareonwheels]

On how to treat performers you don’t know personally. Or, some things that really should not need saying.

Actors are real live human beings. This means they deserve privacy and boundaries and safety, as we all do.

Most actors don’t go into the profession to become famous. Almost all actors *don’t* become famous and they are well aware of this. They go into acting to act, not because they want to be celebrities. However, even those who do want to be famous are still human beings, see above.

Most actors are not multi-millionaires. It’s not a highly-paid profession overall and it’s very insecure. Assuming an actor is extremely rich because you’ve heard of them is ridiculous, especially if they haven’t done any Hollywood blockbusters. You cannot and should not believe those websites claiming to tell you how rich an actor is.

A real live human not being explicit about what their sexuality is is not queerbaiting. Even if they have played a queer character. For Fuck’s Sake.

You can comfortably assume that those actors who are out as queer are the tip of the queer iceberg in the profession. It’s still a queerphobic industry and a queerphobic world, and people have a right to be in the closet, always.

Harassing an 18 year old because you want to know whether or not he’s queer is obscene. Harassing anyone of *any* age is more than bad enough. Turning up at the house of an actor you don’t know personally or sharing their address etc. is extremely creepy.

Taking photographs of someone without their consent is extremely creepy.

No actor owes you any information about themselves, their relationship(s), their sexuality, their health, or indeed anything. If they share that, that’s an act of generosity. You don’t get to demand it. You don’t get to be shitty about what they do share. FFS think about how you would feel in their situation.

Sending death threats, suicide-baiting, and other violent words to anybody is always wrong in all situations. Including to famous people who have fucked up in some way. (Yes, even to people who do genuine concrete horrible harm in the world, but even more to those who have just done something stupid and inconsiderate and crappy or handled being called on something in a cowardly manner.) Calling out or boycotting someone’s work is one thing; harassment and a deliberate intent to harm is quite another.

Even at the less extreme ends, it is horrible that so many actors (and not just major Hollywood stars, I’m talking UK tv actors here) don’t feel comfortable going out in public (even to the pub or a restaurant etc.) because of the risk of being stared at, photographed, having their day interrupted however tired and busy etc. they are. Also? Body-shaming anybody is always wrong in all situations. My Gods how am I even needing to say all this?! The weird possessive/hyper-critical/resentful attitude that I see in a lot of spaces inc. tumblr towards actors owes its origin to a cultural trope that dates back to ancient Rome and which comprised classism, some xenophobia, slut-shaming, the maintenance of patriarchal gender roles, and homophobia (well, bottom-phobia, strictly speaking). You look at the attitudes towards actors in the last few hundred years of UK history, e.g.? Exactly the same damn thing. If you dislike or are extra judgemental towards actors (inc. famous ones) purely for being actors (or for being famous/successful actors), that is the heritage you are participating in. Which shouldn’t be a surprise given we all know that this bullshit is used most ferociously against actors who aren’t cishet white thin gentile abled non-immigrant men (although Gods know even the actors who are all those things get it badly enough).

(Disclaimer: I’m actually not talking here about the writing or drawing of RPF, provided of course you never under any circumstances share it with or make it easily findable by the people in question. So long as you keep it well away from them, know that you are talking about fictionalised people not the real people themselves, and don’t let it influence how you treat them if you ever interact or talk about them, I’d say RPF is pretty damn benign (and yep, full honesty, I have both read and on one occasion written it ;-) ). Certainly compared to everything else on this list.)

This post is partly prompted by my sheer rage and sadness over what’s happened to Kit Connor. But it’s also about things that have happened towards so, so, so many other actors, from Mat Baynton to Jameela Jamil to Olivia Coleman to Sebastian Stan to Chadwick Boseman to Lee Pace to Letitia Wright to to to. It’s gross, it’s obnoxious, it’s everywhere. It’s worst on Twitter, but I saw the same attitudes in even the Guardian and the Independent growing up (let alone the right-wing English newspapers which were and are just disgusting about everyone in the arts). And it’s seriously bad on tumblr too, let’s face it. Fandom relies on the work of actors. Can we please ffs start treating them better? :-S

AND FINALLY: Again this should be darn obvious: please don’t treat anyone else in those ways either! In so many spaces these days there’s a “one strike and you’re not a human being any more” attitude when people mess up. It fucking sucks. We all deserve better and need better. All of us.

Ahem. Here endeth the rant. ;-)

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Hi again! Honestly, I kind of love your meta about the Cullens with and without Edward as a framing device. They're so delightfully fucked up. What do you think the Cullens like about each other? Like, do Jasper and Rosalie ever just share a commiserating glance when Edward is getting particularly judge-y? Does Carlisle ever tell Rose how proud he is that her self-control is That Good? Do Emmett and Esme hang out, does she appreciate how light-hearted he is? Like - other than their "mates" do you think the Cullens are super close? What do you think it would take to get them there/what's the ideal "family" dynamic?

Thank you, and for reference, Edward's thoughts on the family.

All the Cullens about all the other Cullens? Well, this will certainly be a large post. I guess we'll tackle this one at a time and then get into what an ideal "family" dynamic even is (especially for vampires).

Let's buckle in friends.

Alice

By far, Alice is closest to Edward.

When she first sees him, she runs to him and embraces him as a brother. Throughout the series, Alice and Edward are the ones that share a close bond with each other, rely upon one another, and hold each other in the highest esteem.

Much of this comes from their respective gifts.

Per their gifts, they unwillingly invade the privacy of everyone close in their lives. More, it's something that forces them to see the world differently beyond even Jasper (who is also gifted). They have a strong sense of kinship with one another.

Bella is important to Alice not only because Alice sees her as a friend but because she is the one who will make Edward happiest. And that means quite a bit to Alice.

Otherwise, Alice isn't that close to any of the others.

Bella comes in slot number two in Alice's esteem and that's very telling, because Alice treats Bella like her life-sized Barbie doll and makes it clear on a number of occasions that she's more than willing to risk Bella's life for the sake of Edward's happiness without a hint of remorse.

Then there's the rest of them.

People, to Alice, are a bit like pawns in a chess game. Part of this is because of her gift, she sees so many futures that it's very easy for her to dehumanize those around her. The people she's closest to aren't people, but a collection of possible choices, and Alice helps guide those choices to the ones she finds preferable.

And preferable, here, is preferable to Alice. Oh, it might work out for everyone else, and Alice will tell you she looks out for the future of everyone over all, but ultimately because everyone else is just a collection of choices it's what happens to Alice that matters.

Alice is with Jasper because a vision told her to be, nothing more, nothing less. Every interaction they have just emphasizes that they are nothing together, not even a real emotional bond.

The others don't even seem to share a connection with Alice at all. She's in their lives, is this perky kind of fun girl, but that's it. They barely know her as she seems to barely know them.

Alice is with the Cullens not for the Cullens themselves but because visions have guided her to be there as the best future for her. Oh, she treats them like family, but I imagine she'd be the same with anyone else had visions dictated a different path.

As for why the Cullens, they're large and very talented, and Carlisle is one of the few vampires in such a large coven who would not use Alice's gift as a means of war or expansion. It's really the safest place for Alice to be, and why she'll likely do everything in her power to keep the coven together.

Carlisle

Despite Edward's, Edwardness, Carlisle is incredibly fond of Edward and does see him as something of a son. He's also very devoted to his marriage to Esme, despite its unseen flaws. And he seems to be very close with Rosalie, easily seeing her as a daughter and acting much like a paternal figure to her throughout the series.

He doesn't seem as close with Emmett, Jasper, and Alice. This is in part because Emmett doesn't really reach out to him the way the others do, Jasper keeps very much to himself, and Alice is Alice.

However, he's very fond of the Cullens as a whole and looks on each of them highly, even if they don't really deserve it all the time. He would be devestated were the coven to fall apart.

Emmett

Emmett's closest is with Rosalie, for obvious reasons, but even they have a pretty dysfunctional relationship. What Emmett appreciates most about Rosalie is her beauty, when it comes to her personality, he openly admits he's not the largest fan (but what are you going to do, it's the wife, amirite?)

Otherwise, he's a very amiable guy and gets along well enough with everyone, but doesn't seem particularly close to any of them. He wrestles with Jasper and seems to engage in the most 'fun' activities with him, but Jasper is a very haunted soul with a difficult past that Emmett doesn't touch with a ten foot pole.

Emmett tries to bond with Edward, but they just don't understand one another. Especially as Edward seems to go increasingly mad when he decides he's in love with Bella Swan, Emmett doesn't know what to do with that one at all.

Emmett never embraces the whole Esme and Carlisle as his parents thing, and to him it's likely a hilarious joke, but otherwise he doesn't bond with either of them too much.

So, when you get down to it, it's pretty much just Rose.

Esme

Esme adores the family, and by the family I mean Edward. Edward is far and away Esme's favorite child, really the only Cullen I'd say Esme considers her child, and she makes no pretense otherwise and openly says as much.

That said, if you asked her, it would be about the family unit as a whole. And she would be devastated if the Cullens fell apart on her, though not as much if one of the fringe members left vs. Edward leaving.

Otherwise, there's Carlisle, who she adores as her husband. Though they, too, have significant issues. Specifically, neither of them truly knows who it is they married and one day they will find that out. Personally, I think Carlisle ranks far less in Esme's priorities than Edward, in part because he doesn't need her quite so badly, and also because in a way he just is Husband to her and little else.

I think she has very little connection with Jasper and Alice specifically, as they came in so late and in a way are so self contained. Emmett I think amuses her, but he's not really a "child" per se. Rosalie's closest, but as Rosalie doesn't need her as a mother I think that puts a wedge between them.

I also think that Rosalie and Esme wouldn't really understand each other. Despite having lived through similar experiences as humans, they are very different women from one another. I just don't see the bond there.

Jasper

Jasper seems to be the eternal outsider in the family. Edward despises him, but more, I think he doesn't quite know where to fit in with these people. He came from such a different from world than each of them and lived a very different life.

We see him wrestling with Emmett, so there's a bond of friendship there, but I never saw it as a particularly deep one. They'll wrestle, play games, but they never have the hard and difficult conversations in life.

He and Alice have their relationship, but there doesn't seem to be anything really holding them together. The conversations they need to have don't happen, and Alice manipulates his life like a piece on a chessboard, and he consents because he has no trust left in himself at all.

We see Jasper despair to Carlisle in Breaking Dawn that Bella, a newborn, has better control than him but this seems to be an extreme moment for him. It doesn't seem like he and Carlisle are talking often even if, perhaps, they should if only to gain more perspective from one another.

Jasper didn't come to the coven for Alice, nor is that solely the reason he stays, but he very much is an outsider and the one who doesn't quite fit in with the rest of them.

Rosalie

Rosalie is very invested in the family itself. She loves these people, even the ones that aren't so hot on her.

Yes, she wishes she and Alice had an actual relationship, and is pissed off when Alice blows her off for Edward's human girlfriend of all things. Yes, she wishes that she and Edward could get along, but she sees him as the brother you sometimes have a rocky relationship with.

Point being, to her, they are very much a family and she strives to keep them together.

As for who she's actually close to, I'd say it's Emmett and Carlisle. Her relationship with Edward is tense at best and antagonistic at worst. She and Alice have virtually know relationship at all, Jasper keeps to himself, and we don't see her really connecting with Esme.

On the other hand, in terms of her education (pursuing all she can and especially getting her medical degree), her strict adherence to the diet, she seems to emulate Carlisle in all that she does. He's very much a father figure to her and someone she wishes to be like.

So, I do think Carlisle tells Rosalie he's proud of her and she beams up at him. That one I do very much see happening.

Emmett is her rock, the man who keeps her steady and pulled her out of misery, who loves her near unconditionally. For the wrong reasons, perhaps, but time will tell if that relationship works out for them.

Summing it Up

The Cullens are actually fairly disjointed. They may look like a single cohesive unit, and they are in a sense, but if you look closer they divide down into cliques and subgroups quite easily. Not one of them is equally close to all other Cullens, and most of them are strangers to at least one of them.

This perhaps isn't surprising, given I think the coven is ultimately doomed, but it lays the foundations as for why it's doomed. Edward tells us this himself, what holds them together (vs. other smaller covens) is the diet. Edward, of course, didn't mean it like this, but to me that spells a very tenuous bond. One that, with not much of a catalyst, will break.

And I don't think they're going to get to the point where they reach that family ideal.

First, they'd have to truly understand each other, and understanding Edward would break the coven. So that's not going good places.

More though, they're such different people who ultimately do not share common ideals. They don't want the same things in life and certainly not for the same reasons, and because of that they're not going to be incredibly close to every other person in the coven. And that's fine, they don't have to be.

To be honest, I'm not sure the family dynamic is something they should strive for. They already, mostly, care about one another deeply and do live together. Why should they emulate human families?

The place where it falls apart on them is that half of them don't know who the other is, they all think they have different values than they actually do, and Edward is Edward.

And there's no getting around Edward being Edward.

[orenjineki]

Dabi the house-elf

Summary:When you don't get your Hogwarts letter at 11, you spam Hogwarts with letters until they get pissed of and send you a human Dabi who thinks he is a house-elf. And he's always naked and hung. Crap.

Warnings: Dub-Con, Dubious Consent, R18, Minors DNI

Notes: I am so sorry but I saw this tiktok by @savs_creates where Dabi is a house-elf and I just couldn't stop myself. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMerqQ5Dc/

I thank @mangospams who is my greatest inspo when it comes to Yandere Dabi.

You had a house-elf. As a muggle. A house-elf. The size of a grown, human!, man with a sizeable…erm, well size. Not only his frame was decently sized but also his private parts, as you liked to call them in your mind when you happened to accidentally see them from the corner of your eyes when the brown bedsheets you had given the man? elf? once again did a terrible job at covering him.

Which you did not want to see since you were still unsure about his race. To be fair, you were unsure about a lot of things since you turned eleven. Up until your 11th birthday you were convinced that you would get a letter from Hogwarts, be declared a witch and go on a great many adventure with your new, magical friends in a school that was essentially a death trap for children. (They have a forbidden forest with giant spiders, that can and will eat you, unless you raised the og spider because you thought it was a cute pet!). The thought that Hogwarts was not real, merely a product of fiction, did not occur to you. And why would it, since quirks were real, why shouldn't magic be?

And so you waited for your letter, standing on the doormat of your home, looking for owls. But none came. But they had to! And so you waited. And waited. With the interruption of school, food and sleep. But not a single bird, not even a pigeon, dropped a letter with a red wax seal in front on your feet. But you never gave up hope, maybe they just got lost on their way?

You waited so long that you eventually turned twelve. Angry about this unreliability and with a feeling of betrayal, you decided to take matters into your own hands and write them a letter instead, ha! And so you did, every day, complaining about the fact that this magical institute had the audacity to not send you your magical letter! Heck, even an email would have been fine! Your parents tried to stop you at first but since you were somewhat decent at school, they let you keep your paper intense hobby. When you had sent your 6666thletter, way past your 18th birthday, you finally got an answer!

''Dear Ms. …,

We have received your thousands upon thousands of letters, demanding to be announced a witch and allowed into our school. However, we are glad to inform you that you are, through and through, a muggle. Usually we would ignore such profligate attempts at gaining something which you do not deserve but the amount of paper you have wasted for your letters poses a threat to the environment which muggle folk already treat with so much disrespect. Therefore, as a reimbursement, and a desperate attempt to get you to stop writing us, we will send you a human who thinks he is also a magical being without a trace of magic in his veins. In this case it is a human man who got hit with a confundus charm as a child and is convinced that he is a house-elf. When you finish reading this letter, you will find him standing in your kitchen, awaiting your orders.

Sincerely, the secretary of Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry.''

Wait, so Hogwarts is real? And you have a house-elf/human now? What? You drop the letter and rush into the kitchen to see a man, with white hair, piercing blue eyes and piercings on…anyway. You couldn't decide what was more confusing about the situation. The fact that he appeared out of nowhere, the fact that large parts of his body were burned or the fact that he was naked. You decided to accept this new version of reality by staring at him incredulously for a good five minutes, in which he did not blink once, staring back at you.

Since he didn't say anything and you started to feel a little drowsy from this… revelation, you decided to end the day early and go to sleep in your one-room apartment. Sadly, your apartment was too small to hide in another room, hoping that he would be gone, only a really weird dream, when you woke up and entered the living room the next morning. Sadly, your living room was also your bedroom and your kitchen and so you could only turn around and stare at the wall incredulously until you fell asleep. The next morning you woke up feeling surprisingly refreshed, since your apartment was always too cold to catch a good night's sleep. But somehow you felt really warm, as if you had shared the bed with another, very warm body.

…

Was that breathing you heard near your ear, right behind you? You turned around in a millisecond and went right back to incredulously staring at your house-elf-human. Holy shit, he was still there. And naked. And now he spoke, making it even harder to ignore his existence. ''Is master mad at Dabi? Should Dabi burn himself as punishment?'' He raised a hand and a very hot and very scary looking blue flame emerged from it. Great, so you had a crazy human who was convinced to be a house-elf with a fire quirk in your very small and very expensive apartment. Just great. You decided to pretend this was real. Maybe if you went along with it, he would be revealed to be a figment of your imagination and someone would send you to a mental hospital where live might be a bit more normal than this. ''N…n…no, please don't! I'm just confused, it's fine, you did nothing wrong.''

And so you had a human house-elf. You tried really hard to convince him that he wasn't an elf, but his believe in his magicalness was as unyielding as 11 year old you's. You decided to just treat him like a really confused roommate. Very, very confused. He kept standing or laying as close to you as possible, staring at you so hard you worried he would set you ablaze with his eyes. Those eyes…

They were always on you. If it wasn't such a weird situation, he might have been your type, though more ''normal'' in his speech patterns preferably. The scars didn't look ugly, just saddening when you wondered about the pain his quirk must have caught him. In order to give him and you more privacy, you gave him an old brown bedsheet as clothing since he refused anything that was new and without holes. He was actually quite helpful around the household, watching you doing daily chores and picking them up immediately the next day until all you had left to do yourself was work and grocery shopping.

He did however always manage to make you slightly uncomfortable with the way he would stare at you whenever he had nothing to do but you had to write a paper or watch a cat video. And he was absolutely horrible when he interacted with other people, other men to be exact. One time, when you forgot to tell him to hide under the blanket when the doorbell rang, the delivery man had been visible from the kitchen unit and he stared at him, an eerie smile on his face, and a blue flame in one hand. You decided to push the delivery man out of his view, grabbed the package and slammed the door shut. After that you had a serious discussion about ''politeness'' with Dabi and he just kept insisting that ''Master doesn't need anyone else, only Dabi''.

You tried to talk him out of this worldview, but every time you even remotely disagreed with him, the room suddenly got very hot and smoke poured out of his ears and you decided to drop it. Maybe you should get a post office box instead.

From that day on everything seemed mostly fine, until you came home from work, very exhausted, with a sore neck. You yawned a lot more than usual when you tapped away on your phone and stretched your arms and moved your head around in a desperate attempt to ease the pain. Suddenly, two very warm hands found their way on your shoulders and a very hard and apparently large cock pressed into you from behind.

You gasped in shock, your breath stopping. Soft, white hair tickled your neck when your ''house-elf'' whispered into your ear: ''Does master need help relaxing? Dabi saw some of those massage videos master always watches at night on her phone. The humans in the videos look very calm after the massage.''

Your eyes widened in realization and horror, your ''house-elf'' had found your browser history. Great…

You tried to wriggle free from his hold, but only managed to rub your ass into his hard, and pierced, member, making the ''house-elf'' groan softly. The deep noise made your legs quiver and pulled a pathetic whimper from your lips. To your own shame, the most recent ''massage video'' you saw came to your mind and you wondered if he would really go this far. Before you could form another coherent thought, he let go of you to grab a glass of coconut oil from the fridge, melting it's content in his hands.

Then, his oily hands wandered, one under your shirt to softly massage your left nipple and make you whimper, the other under your waistband, inside your panties, to softly rub at your clit. Apparently, he had seen one of the more ''romantic'' videos, because you also felt his lips press soft kisses all over your neck and collarbone. Maybe he was really a magical creature, since the way he played with your admittedly very single body wiped all coherent thought from your mind. He kept rubbing and rubbing your clit until you came with a very embarrassing, very high-pitched moan.

''Don't worry master, Dabi will make you feel even better''. Before you could really grasp what he meant, something warm, hard and big was slowly pressed into your now soaked pussy. An even bigger, even more pathetic whimper left your lips. At your very audible reaction to his actions your ''house-elf'' stilled inside you once he bottomed out and laid his chin on your shoulder, looking at you with the widest eyes you ever saw on him. ''Is Master in pain?''.

You shook your head, bit down on your lip, and realized that you desperately needed him to pound you against the kitchen counter. ''I'm…I'm fine, please just move''. The desperation was very audible in your voice and the look of concern disappeared from Dabi's face. Instead, he licked your ear and whispered:'' Only if you Master admits that master belongs to Dabi''.

''W…what?!''

''Say it or Dabi will burn the next man that tries to sneak into master's home with a package.''

''O..ok, whatever. Master belongs to Dabi''.

The reaction where a dark chuckle and a kiss to your ear before he pulled out of you completely to thrust back in. When you didn't protest and your moans only grew in volume, his hands wandered and he started to squeeze each breast with a very large and warm hand. For the second time that night you wondered whether he actually was magical, since this felt like a very ''magical'' experience. Definitely fantastic with the way the various piercings battered into your g-spot and your clit, making you moan and whine just as loud as the women in your ''massage videos''. When Dabi saw your head fall back on his shoulder and your tongue roll out, he decided to make sure that everyone could see you were his and bit down on your neck, hard. You yowled out in pain but he compensated for it by rubbing your clit and thrusting so hard that you came on his cock half a minute later. The sensation of your walls squeezing him tightly and your cute whines also pushed him over the edge and you could feel his warm seed trickle out of you once he slowly retreated.

The house-human picked you up and held you bridal style in his arms before you could collapse. You still groaned softly from the overstimulation and he carried you to your very small shared bed. After carefully tucking you into bed and pulling you into his naked chest, he softly pushed your hair out of your face and gave you a number of soft kisses all over you face, on your nose, cheeks and mouth.

Before you managed to fall asleep, completely exhausted, you could hear him whisper into your hair after kissing your head:

''Now Master is Dabi's mate. I love you master, but if I ever see another man at the door I will turn him into a pile of ash''.

[period-dramallama]

Betrayal at the Tudor Court: the Good

I was thinking early on in the book “if this sticks the landing... it could be an 8/10″. Which is nuts.

But then at around page 180-190, the rest of the book happened.

+ Alec and Cecily meet in a sweet scene where Cecil is grieving her dead parents and hiding in a wardrobe and he persuades her to come out.

(They marry at the end of the book though so it is a bit weird. Like a lot of my favourite ships have an age gap, sometimes a considerable one, but an adult knowing someone as a child and marrying them as a grown up is still weird)

+ Despite its weirdness of them later getting together, the dynamic between Alec and Cecily starts off sensible. Being a generous child who wants to share things, she leaves little gifts of flowers or pretty stones in the bedrooms of family members, but Alec is unhappy about her entering his room without permission because it’s an intrusion of his privacy. This scenario is really pretty realistic on both sides.

+ I know I should not give points for mentioning my favourite historical figures but it’s mentioned that Sumerton entertained More and Erasmus (Together? *Eyes emoji*)

+Also Father Alec “given a letter of introduction to study under the great Erasmus, it was he who recommended [Alec] to your parents”

+ young Cecily worries about loving her new family more than her dead parents- valid

+ We get a detailed description of an Epiphany feast, the author has definitely taken the time to look up what food would have been served.

+ The author knows about kirtles, hose, and detachable sleeves. A “cloak lined with soft otter fur”. Also Justices of the Peace are mentioned.

+ This gem of a line from Aubrey when he and Cecily are formally betrothed: “I guess this means we can hunt snakes together for the rest of our lives!”. No I will not file that under Silly, that is unironically gold.

+ They’re grossed out by seeing Brey’s parents kiss and they’re like “yeah we’re too young for that let’s hunt snakes instead”

+ “no Christian is really orphaned, God is always our father”

+ I was really sad that the author chose to kill off Aubrey ‘Brey’ Sumerton because he was a fun character. Mirabella says she wants to talk to God all day: “All the time?” Brey asked, incredulous. “I would run out of things to say.”

+ The author doesn’t just quote the passages of Scripture everyone knows, but passages from lesser known books the Tudors would have known off by heart like Jeremiah 29:11.

+Given how historical fiction’s attitude to sexual harassment is often horrendous, it was such a palate cleanser to read Hal discovering that what he did as a young man was adultery but it wasn’t rape. (His memories of the event are hazy). And no, it wasn’t someone telling him “technically it wasn’t rape”, it was the woman he slept with telling him directly that yes, she did consent, she was in the mood just as much as he was. The weight of the distinction between consensual and non-consensual sex was given the seriousness it deserves.

+ So after Brey dies, Cecily his betrothed marries Hal, Brey’s (supposedly) widowed father. This is actually handled well: the pros and cons of the match that are debated are the pros and cons Tudor people would think of- land, God, heirs. The fact that the match is a scandal is also authentic: Tudor people did not take betrothal lightly.

+ Cecily realises that Hal being a flawed human being brings them together, not further apart. 

+ Cecily remembers all the little details about Father Alec, which is some good foreshadowing of them falling in love later.

+ The theme of healing after loss in this book is quite touching

+ So Cecily’s friend Alice has a tapestry with no stitches in it, just a blank canvas. “I call it: ‘Clouds’.” That was intentionally funny.

+ The title of Father Alec’s book: Meditations for the Common Man isn’t real but sounds it.

+ Cranmer has a wife and honestly Alec reacts like a cheated-on lover. He walks in on Cranmer and his wife embracing and he’s like Maybe They Are Just Hugging As Good Friends. 

+ (Cranmer and Alec are very bromantic).

+ Hal’s recovery from a stroke is handled pretty well: the author either knew or researched stroke recovery techniques that don’t require modern technology.

+ Cranmer’s devotion to Henry VIII is accurately portrayed and interesting to read. More of that please.

+ “It is pride that will separate you from God with far more success than King Henry ever could”

+ “For all that is known and unknown I am truly sorry.”

+ Cromwell: “a narrow-eyed jowly man who reminded Father Alec of the result of a terrier-weasel union”. Comedy gold.

+ Speaking of Cromwell: “he pursued the dissolution of the monasteries with the spite of a jilted lover.” DB just snatched Hilary Mantel’s wig.

+ The author has a good sense of ‘life goes on even while horrible events happen.’

+ Alec worries about his nose running in front of important people- relatable.

+ A screaming baby is described as ‘a passionate little orator’. 

+ Time is described as ‘an invisible army’.

+ Grace, Hal’s wife, fakes her own death after her only child Brey dies and then lives as a wise woman in the woods. It’s....nuts, truly nuts, but I do kind of dig it. A plot twist I didn’t see coming, and I liked that the author let her change from pitiable alcoholic causing scandals to recovered alcoholic living her best life in the woods. Not a lot of authors, I think, would give her that. They’d just make her drink herself to death so other characters can angst.

[phantajam]

What NOT to do in a streamer’s live chat/donation messages

(written by someone who used to livestream weekly with a decently active chat)

Disclaimer: Obviously every content creator has different boundaries, this is just the stuff that I and some of my content creator friends agree on being uncomfortable. Also, I had a pretty small audience so I didn't receive that much bullsh!t,, so forgive me if I missed some stuff. 

1. Vent in the chat, especially with no warning. Listen, we all have rough days, I get it. But unless the stream is specifically dedicated to venting/serious topics, you're disrupting the mood of the stream. STREAMERS ARE NOT YOUR THERAPISTS. Also, it's not a great idea to vent in a public online space where anyone could see.

2. Talk in about a dangerous situation you're currently in. PLEASE JUST CALL A HOTLINE OR EMERGENCY SERVICES IF YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW IS ACTUALLY IN DANGER. MOST STREAMERS CANNOT HELP YOU.

3. Bring up a serious/possibly triggering topic in a non-serious stream. If you want a content creator to cover a serious topic, contact them privately or through a post related to the issue. By asking live, you are putting creators on the spot. People need time to develop a thoughtful response to serious questions. As far as sensitive topics go, even if you know the streamer's triggers, you don't know everyone in the chat. It's expected that you avoid common triggers.

4. Dig into a topic after we state we're uncomfortable with it. There are certain things I'm not gonna talk about while putting on cosplay makeup in front of strangers online. There are certain things I’m not gonna talk about ever in front of strangers online. That also goes for if we keep ignoring/refusing to answer a question and you keep asking it. Its disrespectful.

5. Bring up spoilers without a warning. Especially if the streamer is playing a game or talking about a piece of media they haven't finished yet. One time I nearly had to end a stream because someone kept bringing up the unreleased part of the yttd script in my chat :/

6. Donate using someone else's money, or money that should be going towards your rent/food/necessities. It makes most content creators feel guilty if they find out, especially if you need the money more than we do. You can support streamers for free just by being there at the stream and talking actively in chat! 

7. For mutuals, friends, and family: MENTIONING ANY SORT OF PRIVATE INFORMATION. You could be endangering us by mentioning our real name or location. Also, everyone deserves their privacy.

8. Bully/Harass the streamer. This should go without saying.

9. Argue with others in the chat, especially about something off-topic. It's uncomfortable to try and ignore and anxiety-inducing to try and break up.

10. Bypass chat filters. Most streamers are allowed to put their own filters in place, so those filters are there for good reason. Also, don't put anything that goes again community guidelines in chat. you're just gonna get yourself or even the streamer in trouble. Also, spamming sucks.

Once again, I don't speak for all streamers. But I feel like these are all pretty reasonable things to ask. Feel free to add anything ^-^

TL;DR- Content Creators are human beings like you,  please treat us that way :)

[violet-knox]

Snape x professor reader where mc never talks and is shy but it is because she hates the sound of her voice but severus loves it.

Lost Voice

Word Count: 5633

Warnings: Mention of child neglect, invasion of privacy

A/N: This was too cute, I had to make it a one shot. 

For obvious reasons, this has minimal dialogue and is sooooo description heavy but it was a challenge I rather enjoyed and boy was it a real challenge lol in a good way though. So thank you so much for the request anon and I hope you like it! Sorry it took so long, oops.

On and on he went. Black’s ability to drag out a conversation always astounded him every time he was forced to report to the Order at Grimmauld Place, though he supposed if he was an arrogant attention seeking git who was locked up like an animal, forced to play maid with no company, he’d also be desperate to keep his guest as long as possible. But that certainly didn’t give Black the right to waste his time, time he could be spending alone with you rather than listening to a house dog’s whimpering failure to prove himself as the strongest hound in the pack. 

The home of Sirius Black; a shelter for a long line of Slytherins… and one idiotic Gryffindor. The only thing worse than picking this house as headquarters would have been using his own home on Spinner’s End. Thank Merlin it didn’t come to that, otherwise, he’d never get a moment of peace alone with you, especially with that filthy mutt trouncing around, more than likely judging every inch of every wall, sneering about how unfit his home would be for his own delicate taste.  

Resting his chin atop his knuckles, he leaned further into his chair, completely disenchanted by Black’s opinions, beginning to wonder how everyone around the table would respond if he’d pulled out his wand right now and forcefully silenced Black for the good of their eardrums. Most people seemed to actually entertain some of these ridiculous suggestions but as he looked over towards you, he noticed you seemed to share the same disinterest he did and wondered if you’d jump in if he spoke up right now. 

“As delightfully optimistic these opinions of yours are, perhaps the planning of our next steps should be left to those of us who risk their lives out in the real world.” He couldn't help his cocky tone, the smirk that crept through the corners of his mouth, but it was just too rich to see Black get exactly what he deserved, to see all his childhood tormentors get exactly what they deserved. None of them had risen to the top of the Wizarding World as they’d so bluntly proclaimed during their Hogwarts days and all of them had managed, of their own doing, to strip away the one thing every human craved; freedom. 

He looked over to you as soon as he’d made his statement, but as always, rather than speaking your mind, you had your head hung low, your eyes staring down into your lap as your fingers chipped away at the wooden edge of the table. You’d very rarely voice your opinion during these meetings and if you ever did, it was only because the situation endangered him in some way. He’d been asked multiple times to speak to the Dark Lord about what he had planned for the Potter boy and it was only then you’d speak up to mention the dangers of his position. It was only when the other members of the Order so carelessly began speaking of Severus as some disposable pawn that you’d speak, and it was the most he’d ever hear your voice. 

Even within the walls of the home he shared with you, he’d rarely get to hear that soft voice of yours. It was perhaps this very reason he’d grown to cherish every word leaving your lips, committing your tone to memory, unsure of when he’d get the pleasure of hearing it next. You were a good listener and he loved telling you about his day, his love for you blossoming when he’d realized you were the only one he’d grown to trust, the only one he’d confide in. But you’d never returned the favour. You kept your thoughts to yourself, never being on the other end of a rant. It took him an entire year and a half to finally ask about your day. It wasn’t until he'd completely fallen head over heels for you that he’d paid attention and done what he could to provide you with what you’d given him. But you’d shut him down every time he tried, replying with such simple conversation killing words; ‘fine’, ‘good’, ‘nothing interesting’. 

More often than not, you’d both spend the night in silence if he didn’t speak, though he’d never minded it, especially after a long day dealing with Potter and his insufferable friends. You’d show your comfort by cuddling up to him and with an arm around you, you’d both sit in bed reading a book. He found it endearing that you felt cozy enough to drift off to sleep in his arms before he’d even finish the next chapter and he adored it each and every time. 

Though perhaps it was his own fault for the lack of words you spoke when it was often he how’d use up the hours you had at night, venting to you about how intolerable Black was, how tired he was of following orders given by a man he wasn’t sure he trusted anymore, how rough his own life had become after making one stupid mistake fifteen years ago. He’d always be the one bursting into the same outraged rhythm every night after an Order’s meeting and he’d never even stopped to consider how you felt. 

That would change tonight, and he’d be damned if he took another selfish moment of your time whining about the same things over and over again. His eyes ventured to peer at the clock ticking away in the corner of the room, silently begging that small hand to move a little faster and end this misery Dumbledore called a ‘valuable exchange in information’. Fat lot of good these meetings ever did for Severus and clearly the old Wizard didn’t believe his own words, otherwise he’d make more of an effort to actually show up every once in a while. 

Finally, the last of the Order who actually had something meaningful to report had finished speaking. Finally, he could remove himself from this seat. He’d been sitting there, stiff as a rock for so long, he’d begun to think Black had perhaps bewitch the chair to keep him stuck there for the rest of his life, forcing him to live in eternal torture. 

“Will you be staying for dinner, dear?” Molly had approached you immediately after the meeting had come to an end, asking the same question she asked each and every time you came to Grimmauld Place. “I’ve made some of my famous mince pie,” she said proudly. 

You shock your head no as you smiled at her in gratitude. It was kind of her to request your presence, ask you, practically begging you to consider staying for dinner, claiming it be the perfect opportunity to get to know the other members of the Order. But it wasn’t so much befriending the others you’d had a problem with but rather what such a sit down would entail. A social gathering like this one would adequately prompt for questions to be asked and you had no interest in answering any of them no matter what they may be. 

“(Y/N).” You heard the familiar sound of your partner’s voice as he so protectively placed himself directly beside you, a hand going to grab your own. “We should get going.”

You smiled up at him and nodded your head in agreement, melting into the comforting touch of his fingers interlocked with yours. Severus’ existence in your life had been such a blessing, you thanked Merlin every day for him. He was your world and he was the only reason you’d even agreed to come to these order meetings in the first place. Without him, you had no reason to put yourself in such a socially demanding situation which is why you’d never even considered staying for dinner. Sure it may have been a cheap excuse, using Severus’ disinterest in mingling to keep away from joining the others, but if it saved you the embarrassment of having to speak amongst a crowd, everyone in the room hearing more of your voice then absolutely necessary, you’d gladly take it. 

“Sorry Molly,” you said, quickly turning your attention to her. Your voice was so low. It was always so low, but it was especially quiet whenever you were out in public, keeping Severus deprived of the pleasure of listening to that soft tone of yours.

As soon as you turned back around to him, he gripped your hand tighter as he swiftly made his way to the door without the slightest acknowledgement of the others around him. He was eager to leave, to finally have some alone time with you and give you the chance to speak. The second you were out that door, you felt him grab hold of your waist, just as he always did whenever preparing to apparate and within mere moments, you found yourself standing in the dark in your shared home at Spinner’s End. 

“Shall we make dinner?” He asked you, feeling his stomach continuing to growl after he’d gotten a whiff of whatever gourmet meal Molly had prepared. He wondered sometimes if you held it against him for running out of an Order’s meeting as soon as it was adjourned, wanting nothing more than to set the place on fire as he left. You’d never asked to stay for dinner though a little voice in the back of his mind always told him it was simply because you bit your tongue to keep him happy. 

“I want to shower first,” you whispered, leaning up on your toes and giving him a quick peck on the check before taking a small step back, hands running down his shoulders to his chest.  

“Care for some company?” He pulled you in tighter, offering that mischievous smirk of his he knew you loved.  

You smiled back and gently cupped his jaw, loving how forward he was in the privacy of your home knowing he wouldn’t be caught dead even holding your hand out in public. Your thumbs grazed over his cheeks, your touch always instantly soothing him. He closed his eyes and leaned into your palm, pleasantly surprised when he felt your lips pressed against his for a proper kiss this time. He felt his heart flutter as his lips fit so perfectly between yours, slowly following the rhythm you set. The taste of your mouth like Amortentia, your touch was an enchantment to his soul. You were his addiction and he could never get enough. 

You let out the smallest of sighs as you parted, your smile wider than ever as you made your way across the sitting room and through the door that led to the stairs. Severus followed you and watched you head upstairs, knowing you were heading straight for your shared room to strip completely naked and let the water from the showerhead graze your perfect skin. He couldn’t help himself from imagining such a sight when he’d only be one floor below you. 

He heard you open the door to the master bedroom and forcefully detached himself from his thoughts to make his way to the kitchen. He had a lot to do if he was going to prepare a meal fit for the Queen herself, wanting nothing more than the perfect night with you. He wanted to make skipping dinner at Grimmauld Place worthwhile and more than that, he wanted to give you the chance to speak your mind rather than burden you with the task of listening to him ramble the night away again. 

Immediately rummaging through his cabinet's, he gathered the last of the parmesan cheese, just enough for two servings of the souffle he knew you loved. He’d never enjoyed cooking in his youth, finding it a mundane and tedious task, but he’d learned it rather quickly as a boy. At the time, he’d resented the choices his parents had forced on him; scavenge for your own dinner or starve, find your own way back home or freeze through the night, but he couldn’t deny the skills he’d developed from his childhood. The same one’s he used now as a Potion’s Master also gave him the ability to spoil the one person in his life that meant more to him than petty childhood grudges. 

He loved working with you. Starting his morning with you by his side, eating every meal together, ending the day curled up in your lap with a book in hand. He’d loved it since the say you started working at Hogwarts. But the one downfall of living within the great castle was his inability to spoil you. Everything you needed was within your grasp and there was nothing he could offer you a house elf couldn’t fetch. They were amazing at their job and he appreciated the fact he no longer had to cook his own meals but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy the pride that came with watching you take a bite into his food and savoring the taste. He wanted that look you gave when you bit into your favorite dish to be for him. He wanted to be the reason for your joy and cooking was always something he knew he excelled at. It was the one thing he felt he could offer to contribute to your happiness. 

He poured the remaining batter into the second dish he’d prepared and suddenly realized the shower hadn’t been running. He’d been so lost in his thoughts, imagining the look on your face when you walked into the kitchen, hair soaking wet, your eyes feasting on the meal he’d prepare that the rest of the world around him had completely faded away, the silence running through the rest of the house passing him without question. Even now as he stood there looking up at the ceiling, just waiting for the familiar sound of steaming water hitting the ceramic of the tub, he felt as though your presence in the house had completely vanished. The panicked feeling of loneliness kicked in and he found himself swiftly walking up those stairs, pausing at the sight of the cracked open door to the master bedroom fearing that if he pushed it open, he’d find you vanished. 

Would you leave a note if you’d finally decided to leave him? Or would you simply disappear without a trace? No evidence left behind, not a single piece of your clothing or your books, your favorite quill to be found. Would today be the day he’d always dreaded? Could you finally have come to your senses and figured out the pain he brought home after a Death Eaters meeting or the morally grey position he’d put himself in unworthy of your company?

He did what he could to push aside the toxic feeling that lay in his chest and slowly peered inside the room with the hope of at least spotting the comb you always left on your nightstand, the one you used to run through his hair when you knew he’d neglected to do so himself. It wasn’t the comb, nor was it the open closet displaying your clothing that caught his eye but the dark figure sitting at the edge of the bed, huddled over a notebook and scribbling away. 

He’d never seen you so concentrated, so eager to write whatever it was running through your mind and he couldn’t help but let his curiosity peek as he watched you from the shadows, careful not to disturb you. He felt at peace watching you write, though the fact you’d never mentioned this hobby of yours to him unhinged him a bit. He’d shared everything with you, from his own scribbles and works to his dark past, why hadn’t you put the same faith in him?

A few moments passed when he saw your shoulders finally relax as you straightened your back, letting out a breath that sounded as though it had been held for hours. You closed your book and put away your quill before reaching for your wand, flicking it to open the trunk hidden in the depths of the closet. You put away the book and Severus heard the faint click of the locks closing shut before the creak of the bathroom door filled the room. He waited for the sound of the shower turning on before quietly sneaking into the room and pulling out his own wand. It took three tries to click open the right lock before he found a stack of notebooks placed neatly in order with their spines facing up. Picking up the rightmost book of the last row, he quickly flipped it open to find you’d almost filled it up with a few pages left blank at the end. 

Diary entries? Had you really spent your time writing out your thoughts when you could have been, should have been, sharing them with him. His curiosity simmered as his disappointment boiled. Did you think he was untrustworthy to hear what you had to say? Is this why you’d always been so quiet around him, taking it out on these diaries instead? He flipped a few pages back and began reading the entry you’d just completed:

Sirius suggested we ambush the Death Eaters at their next raid today and I’m starting to understand why Severus dislikes him so much. He won’t take Severus’ position seriously and refuses to listen to reason. I’m glad Severus spoke up as usual, though I wish his tone was a little more friendly, perhaps then Sirius would take his words to heart...

Everything he’d expected you to have voiced during the meeting you’d written here. Instead of sharing your opinion, you’d kept it to yourself and it saddened him. He knew what it was like to have your voice ripped away, to have others shun your opinion and that was the last thing he wanted for you. But he couldn’t even begin to fathom why you kept such things to yourself. Most of the Order members were welcoming, he knew they'd at least listen and consider your words. He of all people would support you even if no one else did. 

Looking up from your journal, he focussed his senses back to the bathroom door where he heard the shower continue to roar with steam beginning to slip through the crack between the door and the floor. He still had time and many questions that remained unanswered. Hoping for a bit more insight, he closed the book in his hand and swapped it for the top left most journal in the trunk, opening it as soon as he flipped it over. 

He smiled the minute his eyes lay upon the unkempt writing with your familiar curves and flicks hidden within each letter. You must have been quite young when you’d written this, first year at Hogwarts perhaps? Had you really been writing for so long without sharing a mention of it with him?

Mum told me if there’s something I want to share but can’t, I should write it down in this notebook, but sometimes I don’t know what I should write…

You’d scribbled over most of the entries in this journal, hindering them unreadable. It wasn’t until about two thirds of the way into the book he’d found a proper entry with handwriting much more resembling your own. 

I think I’ve finally begun to understand why Mum gave me this journal in my first year. She’s always known me so well, better than myself and I think she knew I couldn’t share any of my thoughts with anyone at school. She was right as always, I just didn’t understand how right she was until today. I’ll be writing in this journal a lot more. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you before Mum. You always know what’s best for me…

Severus found himself enticed by your mysterious discovery and began to wonder what it was that had you hoarding dozens of these diaries over all these years. He slowly stepped backwards until the back of his legs hit the edge of the bed. He let himself tumble backwards, sitting on the mattress as he flipped to the next page, continuing to read your journal.  

You’d truly stuck to your words, each entry longer than the last, filled with details he’d never heard you speak aloud and before he knew it, he’d reached the end of the journal, summing up the beginning of your fourth year at Hogwarts. He couldn’t stop now, he’d already invested in finding out everything he could about you so his feet lead him back to your trunk and his hands allowed him to pick up as many diaries as he could. Was it his fault a mountain of your own personal thoughts had scattered around him on your shared mattress? Of course not. Who would blame him for wanting to know more about the one person in this world that meant more to him than life itself? Surely not you. 

Professor McGonagall pulled me aside after class today and asked if I’d be interested in mentoring a few of her younger students struggling in Transfigurations. I know I have the skill for it, but I don’t understand why she approached me with how little I speak in class. What would make her think I’d be able to teach another student as she does? I can’t even imagine how much talking that would require. I’d probably irritate her students after hearing my voice and she’d regret ever asking me to tutor them. Then where would that leave me? 

You’d written quite a bit more in your fourth year, filling a journal in its entirety with thoughts of your studies, your peers, your Professors. His favorite thing to read about though was Christmas break. It was the one time in the year you felt safe and it showed. You’d gone home that year, spending your time with the people you felt most comfortable with. You baked cookies with your Mum, bought presents for your parents and sister and spent a lovely evening watching your favorite Christmas movies, one after the other. It had felt so cozy, so happy, Severus only wished he’d experienced it with you. He’d wished he’d noticed you during his years at Hogwarts but most of all, he wished he’d heard of this story from your own lips, listening to that silky voice of yours as those joyful emotions mirrored themselves through your tone. 

I was forced to speak of my future after Hogwarts today and I could not have wished more for absolute isolation than in that moment. I don’t know what I want to do when I graduate, and I feel overwhelmed as if I have to make this completely life changing decision by the end of the day or my world will collapse in on itself. It’s not fair. I want more time to decide. I don’t know what N.E.W.T classes I want to take next year and I sure as hell don’t know what I’m going to do with the rest of my life.  

The more he read, the more he found himself diving further and further into your life, completely and utterly breaking through the walls that used to contain your privacy, now carrying nothing but broken trust and torn up secrets. He’d sped through so many journals, his mind lost to the world outside your life story, he’d completely neglected to realize the shower had stopped running just moments ago.  

He’d only just finished reading about the end of your fifth year when the bathroom door creaked open and his eyes shot up to find you frozen in place with a towel wrapped around yourself and eyes filled with horror. His heart stopped when he saw the terrified look on your face, only now realizing what he’d done by literally spilling your private thoughts all over the floor of the room he’d grown to love because of you. He’d betrayed you and had been caught red handed nonetheless. So much for possessing the stealth of a spy. 

Your chest rose with grief you could only feel from the loss of disloyalty and fell as your trust crumbled to the floor. How could he do such a thing? How could he snoop around your belongings when you’d made it clear your trunk was off limits, that you’d never look through his own things? 

You stared at him with eyes beginning to water, tears filled with every year you’d spent trusting him, threatening to fall and break apart the stable life you’d built together despite the difficulties it brought. You wanted to cry, to storm out the door, to burn all your journals. You wanted him to hurt as you were in this moment watching him look so dumbfounded surrounded by your private thoughts and feelings, some of which you’d never in a million years wish to share with him. Some of which were about him. Had he read the journal filled with nothing but admiration for him when you first met? Had he seen the embarrassing thoughts running through your head when you’d written about the first words he spoke to you? Your first kiss? Your first time?

“But.” His voice had your tears leaking from your eyes, letting out every fear you’d ever accumulated throughout the years spill out onto the floor in front of him. Your lips trembled, waiting for those dreadful words you’d been expecting to hear for a while now slip off his tongue. You waited for him to tell you how happy he was to see you were writing in those books rather than burdening the world with the horrid sound of your voice. But they never came. He simply stood from his place, setting aside the journal he had in his hand and made his way over to you, holding you by your shoulders. 

“I love your voice,” he said softly. The world stopped around you as you peered into his eyes, his thumb swiping across your cheeks, wiping away the tears that tainted the beauty radiating from your soul.

Severus had deceived so many people throughout his lifetime. He’d managed to slip into the ranks of the most dangerous Wizard the world had come to know, but you could always pick his moments of sincerity from his moments of deception. He’d reserved that twinkle in his eyes for you, the way his brows furrowed, begging for his truth to be heard. His lips ever so slightly twitching downwards as if preparing for the disappointment of rejection, all signs you saw as he held you in his arms, looking into your eyes and his honesty had your mind blanking entirely.  

“I-I didn’t mean to look through your things,” he said, knowing he’d not only crossed a line, but had drenched it in gasoline and set it on fire as he continued to walk over it. He’d completely invaded your privacy and was desperate to mend the trust he’d broken, but he more importantly wished you’d never written yourself in such a toxic light. He wanted you to see yourself as the majestic woman you were in his eyes. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to read your private thoughts, but (Y/N), how can you say these things about yourself? They aren’t true. You have the most entrancing, precious voice I’ve ever heard.”

Nothing would have made you happier than believing the words coming out of his mouth and though you’d never doubt his honesty, you still found yourself holding back. You couldn’t come to terms with the reality he presented; one where that insecurity that held you back all these years was nothing more than an illusion your mind had created. He loved you. He’d spoken those three words more times than you could count, and you’d believed him as his confidence grew with your relationship which was the exact reason why you were hesitant to take his words as the truth. Of course he’d say such lovely things about your voice. He loved you but the rest of the world, they did not. It was the same reason you’d never taken your mother's words seriously when she’d repeated the same thing Severus had just spoken to you. Love was blinding, hiding the truth from those who cared for you most. 

Your eyes dropped down to the ground, feeling a weight of disappointment and disbelief fall on your shoulders. Was it over? Was he stringing you along or was there truth in his words? Would he leave you if you rejected his claim?

Severus felt as though he was losing a battle he didn’t even know he was fighting. He could see your doubt. He could tell you didn’t believe him and he didn’t blame you. There was nothing in this world he understood more than insecurities and he could see that your lack of confidence in your voice had been holding you back for as long as you lived and he wanted nothing more than to break you out of the chains you’d bound yourself in. 

“(Y/N), please believe me when I say this. All these horrible, negative thoughts you're having about yourself, it’s all in your head. No one believes these awful things about you. When I met you, I never once thought your voice to be a burden to my ears. On the contrary, I enjoyed listening to your lectures. I looked forward to finding you in the staff room alone after your morning class. Why do you think I began inviting you to my office when Lockhart showed up?”

He was desperate to gain your belief, to break this wall you’d been building behind his back all these years. He had to keep trying.

“You’d barely say two words in front of anyone else and I felt deprived of the privilege you’d allowed me when you’d began conversing with me. (Y/N), I wanted to hear your voice, I wanted to listen to your thoughts, to know you and to understand you. Even now, I still seek that pleasure… Please. (Y/N).” He whispered the last two words, his worry of losing you hidden behind his tone. His grip on you tightened, wanting to hold you until you’d forgiven him for his invasion, until you agreed to speak to him and let your voice resonate within the comfort of the home you shared. 

You hesitated, wanting to melt into the ground after hearing his plea. He was desperate for your love, he always was. But in this moment, you could see the agony seeping from his soul, screaming for your compassion and devotion. All you’d ever craved was to feel yourself easing off your insecurities, to find someone that loved you for everything you were and know for certain that your voice, that shriveled voice of yours didn’t bother them as it did you. And here he was, by some miracle, in the flesh, offering you exactly what you’d wished for and you wanted to take it, to hold on to him as he was you and never let go. 

This was it, this was what your heart had been waiting for, what your ears had been desperate to hear, what your mind had been craving to confirm; he was your other half and loved you with everything he had (even if his boundary issues were clearly getting a little out of hand). A smile made its way to your lips as your shoulders let go of the weight you’d been carrying all those years. You were free and he was to thank. 

You lunged yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, pressing your body against his, thankful for everything he’d give you over the years. The support, the comfort he provided, was priceless; something you knew no one else could ever give you. You tightened your grip, one hand losing itself in his hair as your eyes landed on the sight of the scattered bits of your life all over the bed you shared together. You’d really have to work on setting boundaries with him.

“Promise me you’ll try to talk to me more?” He whispered as his hands wrapped themselves around your waist in return. “Just me?” He’d always reveled in your embrace, but this embrace, the grip he had on you, felt different. You trusted him and wanted him in your life despite the mess he’d made with your private thoughts. You’d believed him and Merlin only knew how he’d managed to find the right words to say. 

You broke your embrace and rested your hands on his chest, nodding in agreement only to have Severus shoot you that smirk of his as his brows rose. You chuckled, realizing, you’d already failed at keeping the promise he’d asked of you.

“I promise,” you whispered. 

“I love you so much.” He closed his eyes and met your forehead with his. 

“I love you too.”

You gently pressed your lips against his, instantly warranting you a reaction as he pushed you further into his chest and his lips moved eagerly against yours. You’d never felt as whole as you did now in his arms and finally, finally you’d found your voice again, all thanks to him. 

Parting, you hummed in delight, filling his heart with warmth at the sound of your voice. You’d only spoken six words to him thus far and already he could feel your happiness, your confidence resonating within your tone and he could only dream of the conversations you’d have once the realization of how lovely your voice truly was finally sank in. You were his light, his world, his everything and nothing, not even your insecurities could take that away from him. 

[thechildofstark]

Fuck John Walker (and also some other stuff): A Response To Episode Four

WARNING: some bad language, death mentions, violence mentions, blood mentions, racism, spoilers for for ep 4 of tfatws 

DISCLAMER: I have some Opinions about various characters. These do not extend to the actors, who I’m sure are lovely and should be treated with the dignity, privacy and respect that they deserve. 

“Fuck John Walker” was originally meant to be the subtitle. I decided on it when he screwed up the op for Sam. It got ungraded during the final scene, because nothing else could possibly compare as a necessary title to this post. 

Essentially, some (out of order) thoughts on episode 4:

~*Sam and Bucky, working together*~ (pretend this is a musical jingle)

The contrasting ways that they interacted with the displaced

While the incredibly valid argument can be made that Sam is the least privileged of the group (I’ve made it) it is obvious that he has had the most structured civilian life: approaching the people he comes across openly. Yes, he is polite and calm, but the closest thing to this he has personally come across in the past (that we know of) would be the war vets he worked with and the critical difference is that they wanted to be there. From what I remember of Sam’s groups they didn’t seem to be a sort of mandatory requirement: you came because you chose to. Or at least, you came prepared for the situation. Here, Sam is an outsider and an unwelcome threat. These people are not going to open up to him. 

Bucky is quieter, but still quite straight forward in the way he presents himself. I think he may show a little more care for the environment he is in than Sam but that isn’t saying much. Yes, he has experienced much worse things than Sam but we still see his unfamiliarity with this sort of situation paired with some less than stellar social skills really not working in his favor. 

Look, I love both these 2 to death. But this is not what they know. 

Zemo on the other hand quite likely lived in a place similar to this after his family was murdered. He shows an understanding of how this sort of situation would work, going to children who:

a) wont necessarily peg him as an outsider

b) are bribable

also I think he was genuinely super glad to give those kids that candy and money. He would have been such a good dad. now I have Zemo feels. somebody help me.

The inclusion of the Dora Milaje was incredibly awesome, and not just because I simp for powerful women. Narratively, this was the perfect place for them to join the party and assert their right to apprehend Zemo. 

Bucky speaking Xhosa (i think it was?) is very cool

 I would like to take this moment to formally state that Caption John Walker is a motherfucking asshole. 

It was also really nice to see Sam’s therapist skills, that worked against him earlier really help him here. 

I liked seeing that more human side of Karli, and having her interact with the “enemy” and have serious conversation about what everyone is doing.

Until Captain Insecurity has to destroy the op because he doesn’t trust the people he chose to work with, no one has comms or anything I guess?

Also Walker deferring to Bucky for team decisions over Sam, talking over Sam and acting like he knows better than Sam?

I smell racism in this Chili’s tonight

It was also really interesting to get a more in-depth look at how Zemo views supersoldiers. Nearly all the ones that he has either heard of or interacted with (destroyed) had either volunteered for the serum or were so brainwashed that it didn’t make a difference. These people are a dangerous enemy to be eliminated, alongside people like Dr. Nagel. His entire worldview is focused on their destruction that the idea that one of them could be a normal person is impossible to him. The only exceptions acknowledged are Steve (paragon of saintly virtue) and Bucky. 

And the fact that after his family died and his country devastated he would most likely have fixated on both the Avengers and the “concept” of a superhuman being as something to blame for his loss. His refusal to concede his position to Sam isn’t just arrogance, although that seems to be a part of it, but the fact that he has spent so much time and energy in destroying both the Winter Soldier program and most likely other similar operations, along with the Avengers that this hatred and belief in the danger has most likely become one of his core beliefs. To change this would be to question his vendetta against the Avengers, to question his actions against the Winter Soldier program which he knows was a horrible thing, and to question why he has spent the past seven years in maximum security prison. This isn’t something he is ready to do yet.  

The fact that Bucky is a noted exception is something that stands out to me. Zemo knows that Bucky is a good person, regardless of the serum. 

Bucky is also the only main character (that I can think of) that was injected with the serum against his will. The fact that he didn’t seek it out could quite likely be part of the reason that Zemo doesn’t look down on him for it - it is framed that the sort of person that seeks out that sort of strength/power would be a “supremacist”, someone who would use their abilities to harm and subjugate others.

And while we are at the apartment may I say how funny it is to see Zemo just. Literally being Sam and Bucky’s sugar daddy. He transports them and houses them and makes them fancy tea. It’s possible he’s providing them with clothes. Either way, love it. Cannot wait for the boys to work it out.

Sam and Lemar’s responses to being offered the serum are an interesting juxtaposition to how they view the concept of supersoldiers. They have both experienced hardship and survived war but Sam is the one that has gone up against Gods and monsters and he wants none of that, thank you. 

And Lemar is so comfortable with saying yes because it isn’t actually being offered to him. Walker expresses some hesitation in their discussion because for him, it isn’t hypothetical. This is something real that can and will effect him for the rest of his life and he wants to make the “right decision”.

The return of Erskine’s belief that the serum not only effect the physical but the mental, emotional and (possibly?) spiritual. This isn’t something that’s really been touched on outside of The First Avenger and I liked that it turned up here. But the fact that it was the reason Walker felt comfortable taking the serum? Eww

The Dora Milaje kicking names and taking ass is super awesome. They are so incredibly skilled and have such amazing teamwork and are also super beautiful I love them 

Sam and Bucky just. Watching. Enjoying the show. Absolute kings. 

Zemo being the sneaky little sneak that he is :)

One one hand, Bucky losing his arm in the fight was very awesome. One the other hand, he has a long history of complicated bodily autonomy in relation to that arm so........  Neutral opinion it is then 

Karli, honey, I really want to like you but can you please keep the mans family out of it. Okay?

And another thing that this show made me think about: kids left to fend for themselves after the Blip (uuuurrrggh it hate calling it that. stupid canonical name). I think it’s good that at least some people took it on themselves to take these children in, to give them good lives and families.

The way that Sam has incorporated his wings into his combat style is very cool

Okie dokie can’t avoid it forever lets get this over with. 

LEMAR MY BEAUTIFUL SON NOOOO

those fuckers (the writers i mean)

Side note: did they really have to make the first main character death of the series a Black “sidekick” character? No. No they did not. 

Side side note: I understand that this is a perfectly valid way (ew) to “advance the plot” but I can and will be annoyed about it

And now we really get into the shit. But...........................

As much as I absolutely unequivocally hate John Walker I actually like the thematic parallels of how they did this. All throughout The First Avenger Steve is adamant on how he doesn’t want to hurt anyone, he just wants to stand up to the bullies. It’s only after Bucky dies that he says he wants to kill all the Nazis and really get into the horror of it all. The fact that John, who has absolutely been on the edge for the entire episode if not longer, only loses it after Lemar dies?

Because Lemar is arguably meant to be that stand-in for Bucky in the eyes of the public, and they are obviously close friends..........

Just - 

I feel I may have accidentally been slightly nicer than I planned to Walker in this post. I’m not sure how I feel about that. 

But C****** J*** W****** is NOT Captain America. Up until now I’ve been calling him “Fake Cap” in my head and to my family, but he doesn’t even deserve that honor. 

And the blood on the Shield. Dear god that was horrible. 

And the fact that, as it was pointed out in this very episode, this man fully represents everything that is Captain America, to the world. He isn’t only tarnishing his own legacy, he is also destroying Steve’s. And to some extent, Bucky’s. The whole reason that Bucky Barnes is considered a “Superhero” is because, at least in America he is known as “Cap’s Best Friend”. He was marketed that way for over half a century, and after the whole “Winter Solder” thing, goodwill or no, brainwashing or no, this could end very ugly for him. Not to mention that Steve Rogers is most likely to be forgotten to history in favor of this freak. 

And on that note, where the fuck is Steve? This is set only 6 months after Endgame, if he had died we would know. So what the hell is he doing? Because I know he got perpetual brainrot going back in time to be str8 and boring but dear god if the show tries to tell me that he’s just chilling in some senior’s center in Alaska I will actually call bullshit. Steve Rogers would never. Okay this is a whole separate post on my thought on Steve. Watch this space I guess. 

And while we’re all here, Bucky Barnes needs a goddamn boyfriend. I’ve done some thinking, and here is a compiled shortlist: 

Sam

Zemo

De-aged Steve (he would be higher but I’m still mad at him for the whole “vanishing without a word to relive Jim Crow and the Lavender Scare. :/ )

IN THAT ORDER. 

That’s all folks. 

Feel free to send me asks if you want clarification or extra details on anything. 

And finally - 

the thing we all came to see:

FUCK

JOHN 

WALKER

fin

[prrplwtch]

maybe a hc for an oblivious mc?? the brothers trying to make a pass at her and mc just doesn't get it

Thanks for the ask nonny 💜 Sorry it took me a while to reply. 

So here we go - each of the brothers x oblivious MC. Also, apologies, I got carried away with Satan and Asmo’s stories.

Lucifer

Lucifer has always considered himself to be quite sleek when it came to romantic endeavors, but, somehow, when it came to MC it seemed that  either his charm did not quite work or that she was the densest being to ever walk all the realms. 

When Lucifer had try asking her to go to one of Diablo’s balls with him, she simply replied, “But aren’t we already all going together?”

When he took her out to resturante six for, what in his mind was a nice romantic evening, she said, “It’s so nice to be able to have evenings like this with a friend”.

And, to add insult to injury, one day he had Simeon approach him and say, with that know-it-all smile of his, that MC was quite upset. As it turned out she confessed to the angel that she really liked Lucifer, but she did not think that he felt the same. 

After that conversation Lucifer sought out MC and made it abundantly clear to her that he liked her. 

“Whoa,” MC said, when he broke off their kiss, “I had no idea you felt this way about me”.

Lucifer had to physically restrain himself from facepalming. How did I end up falling in love with this human, of all beings?

Mammon

Deep down Mammon knows that he is not very good at showing that he is into someone, so he understands that he does not really have any grounds to be particularly upset that MC does not seem to pick up on his affections. 

Still, it hurts when he finally works up the courage to put his arm around MC’s shoulders as they are watching a movie, and she gets up to go get a glass of water. 

And it hurts even more when he tells her one day that being around her feels better than having money to buy all the things he wants, and she responds with, “I’m glad we are such great friends”.

Mammon gets sulky - it’s hard for him to work up the courage to show his true feelings and, also, a large part of him feels that he does not deserve her. Maybe I am actually the scum my brothers say that I am.

However, when one day MC asks him why he is so sad, he does not want to admit to anything. Then, a moment later, a part of him wants to kill Beel - and another part wants to hug him - when his brother tells MC, “Mammon is sad because he likes you.”

He completely forgets that Beel is even in the room when MC turns to him and says, “I also really like you. I wish you had told me sooner”. Mammon does not think he’s ever been so happy. 

Leviathan

Levi is rather shy when it comes to communicating his feelings, but that does not mean he does not try. Indirectly.

I mean, how could MC not pick up on the fact that he is very much in love with her when he suggests that the two of them play a dating simulator game, where the people playing will remain inside the game until they confess their love to each other for real. He feels kind of hurt, when MC refuses the game by saying, “Sounds cool, but I’m more of a fantasy RPG kinda girl. Maybe some other time”.

He gets even sadder when, just a few days after he and MC watch a certain anime where the main character confesses his love for the girl by making her do a scavenger hunt in a video game, he sets up a similar one in one of his video games, but MC refuses to play it, saying that she has a lot of work to do for the next school day. 

Levi feels quite sad about the situation, although he is not surprised. He knows he should not have gotten his hopes up - after all who would ever love an otaku like him? Definitely not someone as precious as MC. 

He is all the more surprised when one day MC comes to his room and says that she wants to talk. “I just needed to get this off my chest,” she tells him, “I just want you to know that I really like you...even if you don’t feel the same.”

Levi is incredulous and at first thinks that one of her brothers put her up to it - but when she assures him that she is being honest, he cannot help, but smile like a fool. Turns out life can be even better than anime, sometimes.

Satan

Satan does not really has much experience in romantic affairs - and to an extent he begins to regret it when he realizes just how difficult it is to communicate his true feelings to MC. 

In order to properly prepare, he reads a lot of books about love and also watches quite a bit of dramas. From them, he seems to be able to come up with a perfect date. He decides to invite MC to an amazing bakery in the Devildom, and then take her on a scenic walk to a beautiful garden. MC agrees, and everything seems to be going according to plan until, as they are sitting together in the garden and Satan is about to make his feelings known, MC turns to him and says, “I am so lucky to be able to enjoy such an amazing afternoon with my dear friend”.

Though sad, he did not give up then - and dived further into researching ways in which he could make his feelings known. As he was watching one of the love dramas he heard one character tell their love interest that without them, their life would be as cold and dark as winter night without stars. He thought that was the perfect way to confess his feelings, so on one occasion, when he and MC were spending time together he told her just that. “Ah, I feel that same. What is life without friends, after all?” was her response. 

Satan was getting frustrated and sad - he was convinced now that MC must have not liked him back - there was no way anyone would be so oblivious. Apparently, his foul mood showed at dinner, as MC turned to him and said, “Satan, you look quite unhappy - is everything ok?”

“Satan is sad because he’d much rather be flipping something - or dare I say someone - else around rather than the pages of his book tonight,” Asmo interferes before Satan has a chance to answer. He feels hot blush on his cheeks, and he wants to strangle Asmo. 

“Oh...” MC says, “Do you like someone?”

“Of course he does,” Asmo says, somehow managing to avoid the plate that Satan threw at him, “I’ll even give you three hints - it’s someone cute, someone human, and someone who lives in our house.”

The blush that spreads across MC’s cheeks is red hot, and Satan freezes, not knowing what to do. 

“Now then, lovebirds, why don’t I give you some privacy?” Asmo says as he leaves the room. 

Satan cannot bring himself to look at MC, but she comes up to him and stands right in front of him, and there is nowhere else to look. “Was it true what Asmo said?” she says. 

“Yes,” Satan breathes out and feels so at ease having finally parted with the secret. That is until he remembers the “flip around” part, and hastily says, “No. Ah wait...Yes, actually, I do really like you.”

The way MC beams at him warms his heart. “I like you too,” she says, then suddenly there is a shy look on her face. “Although would you mind if we take the whole entire “flip around thing” slower,” she whispers, “I don’t think I am quite ready yet.”

Satan does not know if he wants to kill or thank Asmo.

Asmodeus

Asmo is an expert when it comes to all things related to the matters of love and lust, and that is why he finds himself quite perplexed when it turns out to be a little difficult to get MC to understand his feelings.

First, Asmo decides to try his trusted and true seduction method. So he invites MC to his room, and when she arrives, all he is wearing is a quite revealing lingerie. MC stops in the doorway when she sees him, and Asmo is glad - looks like it is having a desired effect. “Oh, is that the cute nightgown you wanted to show me?” MC asks him as she proceeds into the room, “That’s so cool - I don’t think I’ve ever seen material like that in the human world. You simply must show me where you bought it.” Somehow instead of having night of passion, Asmo finds himself having a night full of fashion advice and discussions. 

Deciding that his more subtle moves probably won’t work, Asmo thinks that he needs to be direct and confess his feelings to MC. So, when they are spending time together, he tells her, “I love you”. His heart sings when MC seems to reciprocate his feelings and replies, “I love you too,” and sinks when she adds, “I’m so glad that I had a chance to meet a friend like you”.

Asmo finds himself very sad - it’s the first time he feels this way about someone, and she does not seem to love him back. A part of him knows why - being am avatar of lust, he is, no doubt, hard to love. Why did I ever think I deserve to be loved by someone like her? Sadness makes Asmo do the thing that he usually does when he is upset - try to see how many one-night stands can cure his broken heart. 

One night, when he is stumbling back from the club, feeling surprisingly tired and empty, he stumbles upon MC in the kitchen of House of Lamentation. He notices that she looks at him sadly as he greets her. 

“What’s wrong?” he asks her, “Did someone hurt you?”

“It’s nothing,” MC says, but he comes closer to her, and takes her face in his hands. She takes a deep breath, “It may be unfair of me to lay all of this on you, but I like you - like really really like you. And it’s hard for me to see you with others...” Her voice is no louder than a whisper. 

Asmo’s heart fills with warmth that slowly spreads through his body. 

“I understand that was not fair of me to say,” MC continues not looking at him, “Please forgive me for ever bringing this up.”

Asmo gently lifts her chin, then looks into her eyes. There is hurt there - but also love, and his whole body feels light - no one had ever looked at him like that. 

“There is nothing to forgive,” he says, “I love you - I just did not know you felt the same way.”

MC’s eyes are wide, and Asmo could not help himself, but smile - humans can be so silly some times.

“And if you want to be with me,” he says, as he draws her in for an embrace, “I will only be with you”.

When MC buries her face in his chest, Asmo feels as though he died and went to Celestial realm.

Beelzebub

Beel is not very good when it comes to communicating his feelings so he seeks advice of his brothers on what to do. Somehow his brothers end up being slip into two camps, giving him the opposite kinds of advice - the first one is to be direct and tell MC about his feelings, and the second one is to be suggestive without expressly stating his feelings. 

So Beel, being himself, decides to try the direct approach first. During one of the times that he and MC are cooking in the kitchen together he simply turns to her and says, “I love you”. He is happy at how easy it was and even happier when MC smiles brightly at him. However, his happiness quickly dies, when she responds, “You are my best friend, Beel, I love you too”.

After the direct approach fails, he has to resort to the second one. Beel is not quite sure about how to be “suggestive without being direct,” so Asmo coaches him on what to say. Beel is not sure if Asmo’s suggestion is the best way to go, but his brother insists that he is an avatar of lust - and that thus Beel should trust him. 

So Beel cooks a romantic dinner for MC, which they end up eating in his room. Feeling blush rise in his cheeks, as the time approaches for him to try those “sleek lines”, Beel is slightly panicked. But they have already finished eating, and now is the time! 

“You-you know,” Beel says, trying to get himself to stop blushing, “There is something else I wanted to taste tonight - that is if you don’t mind?”

“Oh,” MC asks “Do you have some sweets hidden in the room, Beel? Is it those chocolates you gave me the other day. Ah, I really hope it’s those chocolates”.

Needless to say, Beel had no heart to tell her that it was not sweets he was talking about. He was feeling quite sad - he really liked MC, but it was so hard to let his feelings known. He was all out of approaches, and seeing how his brothers did not seem to have anything else useful to say, he considered asking advice from Simeon. 

However, before he was able to leave the room, Belphie walked through the door. “She likes you too,” Belphie told him, as he handed him a piece of paper “Thank me later”. 

The note was in Beel’s handwriting, which Belphie had gotten really good at imitating through the years, and laid out Beel’s feelings for MC. The note ended with asking MC to go on a date with him if she felt the same way. 

“Flip it,” Belphie told him, and when Beel did he saw a few words, scribbled in MC’s handwriting, accepting the invitation. 

Beel could feel his heart fill with joy and happiness - and even the ever persistent feeling of hunger was gone, at least for now. She liked him back.

Belphegor

Belphie has never been good when it came to communicating his feelings, so it was little surprise when it was clear that MC did not understand that he was falling for her. 

When he had learned about the human world’s Valentine’s day, he decided to ask her to spend the whole day with him. Surely, she will know what I mean. To his surprise, MC agreed quite easily. As they were spending time together on Valentine’s day mostly lounging around and eating candies, Belphie thought that it was a good time to make the next move. But, before he was able to do so, MC said, “I’m so grateful to be able to spend the day with my best friend”. Needless to say, Belphie did not confess to her that day. 

He decided that maybe he needed to be more bold, and next time they were spending time in the attic room asked MC to come to the bed with him. To his surprise, she agreed. “I could use a nap”.

When they settled into the bed with MC being the little spoon, Belphie thought about what he was going to say - how to make it abundantly clear to her that he liked her, when MC said, “Napping with friends is the best - it’s too bad I have never done that before”.

Belphie felt frustrated - but at the same time seeing MC cuddling sleepily in his arms, he could not feel too mad. After all, does he really need her to understand his feelings right away if she is so soft, and warm, and smiling, and sleeping peacefully in his arms?

Just Belphie was drifting off to sleep, he whispered quietly, “I love you.” To his greatest surprise he heard MC’s respond, “I love you too”. Maybe she did understand more than she let on.

[pretend-writer]

Down Below (Chapter 67)

Summary: After being sent down on Earth with the other prisoners from the Ark, Y/N Reyes faces series of events and learns about survival. With new things happening around her, she is now starting a new chapter in her life.

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader, John Murphy x reader, Raven Reyes x sister!reader

Word Count: 2.6k words

Warning: mention of death, mention of violence, swearing

✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤  ·  ✤

It was hard to believe in second chances after all I’ve done down at the bunker. Despite telling myself over the past few years that what I did was for Wonkru and to support Octavia, I knew in my heart that it was a shitty thing to do.

But here I stood next to Bellamy as we looked out the window of Eligius IV, staring at our possible new home that Monty researched for us all these years we were in cryo sleep.

‘Monty did all of this... for us...’ Bellamy mumbled to himself, looking at the new planet in awe. ‘This...’

‘This is amazing.’ The words slipped out of my mouth, enjoying the beautiful view we had from up this ship. Who would’ve known that Earth wasn’t the only livable place in the universe? By the way it seemed, the planet full of green life, it was habitable for humans. But we wouldn't know for sure until we get to the ground.

‘Yeah, I’m really excited actually. I don’t know a life outside this ship.’ Jordan grinned widely, ‘Also, it’s nice meeting you two finally. Monty and Harper talked a lot about you guys.’

It was crazy to think that Monty and Harper had a child, but it was more insane to think that they were both gone. Instead of going to cryo, they’ve decided to live the rest of their lives together.

They had their own family, finally had a life away from war and lived in peace. Now that I think about it, it sounded so beautiful. I knew that Monty and Harper were happy together, they deserved all of that and more.

‘Y/N, before I log off from my final video...’ Monty smiled through the camera, ‘I want to thank you for taking care of Jasper. I always wonder if I tried hard enough, he’d still be with us today. Because of everything you’ve done for him, I know that all that happened at the bunker wasn’t the real you, I truly believe that. Even though you did scare me.’

‘Throughout the times from when we landed on Earth to now, you’ve always done what’s best for everyone. That’s all that matters in the end. I hope that on this planet, we can all do better and look out for each other.’ Monty smiled one last time, ‘I believe in you guys. May we meet again.’

‘May we meet again.’ Bellamy and I whispered as Monty logged out of the video. The tears streamed down my face, not being able to process that Monty wasn't with us anymore.

He was the one that gave me hope; after dealing with Mount Weather, Monty was the one that made me realize that I had to push through to be an asset again. He pulled me out of a dark place that I never thought I'd ever leave. He even realize that Skafaiya had changed, that I was being better.

If it wasn't for him, reassuring that I can do better I would of never realized what I've become and all that bad that I've done. I should be thanking him for that, I wish I thanked him before we parted ways.

'Who else should I wake up?' Jordan asked sweetly. 'My dad programmed cryo to wake us up but not the others.'

My dad. Wow I could never get used to that, I thought to myself. I wish I was able to congratulate Monty and Harper, except it happened a hundred years ago.

'We can't wake everyone, it'll be chaotic. We can get the people who can go down and help us search around. Starting with Shaw, the pilot.' Bellamy nodded, he turned to me and flashed a smile.

I shrugged, not really in the mood to talk to him. After what Raven had told me about Bellamy and Echo, I didn't know if I was able to stand him. 'Yeah. Okay. Sounds good.'

'You okay, Reyes?' Bellamy reached for me to hold his hand, except I took a step back. He cocked his head, confused. Last time I saw him, we were in good terms and wanted to start over again. 'What's wrong?'

'Nothing.' I avoided his eye contact as I left the room. Bellamy followed me into the cryo room, not saying a word as he tried to give me space.

I'd rather not wait and instead, tell him the whole truth about what I knew about The Ring. The problem was the fact that he was acting as if nothing happened, as if he didn't kiss another girl while he was in space. Bellamy made me feel bad about the bunker when the fact was that he was hiding things from his at-the-time girlfriend.

As I worked the cryo machine, I woke up the people we needed to venture down with on the new planet. Each person popped out of cryo, slowly waking up as if they were just taking a short nap.

'No, not her.' Bellamy rested his hand on mine, stopping me from pressing the button. 'We can't wake Octavia up.'

'Why not? Are you still scared of her?'

'If someone is already living on this planet, we don't want Blodreina fucking everything up.'

'Well, if someone is actually down there and if they happen to be savages, don't we need someone who can fight?' Murphy walked towards us, giving me a hug from the side. 'Just saying.'

Bellamy rolled his eyes, didn't know if it was from John being close to me or the fact that he was told what to do about his sister. 'I'm not taking that risk. I'm sure we will be fine ourselves.'

'Alright, you're the boss.' John dropped the conversation, quickly turning to me. 'Can I talk to you, Y/N?'

'Yeah, of course.' I nodded, smiling at him before he walked away.

In the corner of my eyes, I saw Bellamy staring at me. I could tell that he was confused, maybe a bit jealous too. With all that's happened, I didn't know whether to feel bad or let him be. Either way, I left the room.

Following Murphy out of the cryo room, he led me to the hallway. 'I missed you. Even though it feels like I just saw you 10 minutes ago.'

I giggled, feeling butterflies like I did when I kissed him before we headed to cryo sleep. 'To be fair, it's been over hundred years.'

'And yet, your shot wound hasn't healed.' John pointed at my leg, 'Saw you limping earlier.'

'Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm always fine.' I smiled. Wanting to get everything out the way, I decided to talk to him about the obvious topic we had to discuss. 'I haven't told Bellamy by the way.'

He nodded, 'I figured. It's okay, there's no need to rush it.'

'But I feel bad, I don't want it to be a secret or anything.'

'Don't feel bad because whatever we have, it's worth it. I don't mind the mystery either. Besides, sneaking around is kind of a turn on.'

This feeling I had for him felt so right, so nostalgic; felt way better than feeling pressured by Bellamy to be different and to feel bad about who I was. I didn't have to pretend with John, we knew each other majority of our lives and he understood what I've been through.

What I didn't understand was why all this time, Bellamy guilted me about the years I spent in the bunker when he had secrets he was keeping from me.

Jackson suddenly rushed towards me and Murphy, looking at me as if he was very stressed. 'Jackson, what's wrong?'

'We're prepping Kane for surgery. He's awake and somewhat stable for now but-' He paused, I could tell he was scared of my reaction.

'What?'

'Kane wants to see you.'

My heart dropped, not expecting to see Marcus at all. Last time I saw him, he was unconscious and when I spoke my final words to him back at Polis, I said some pretty mean stuff.

'Can I just see him after surgery?'

'Bellamy is preparing with Clarke to go check out the new planet and he told me you're going with. Also with Kane's condition, we're afraid he might not make it.'

'You should go see him, Y/N.' John tapped my arm, 'I can come with you if you'd like.'

Marcus' condition? How bad was his injuries? I knew that one of Abby's patients attacked him but I didn't know it was this critical. No matter how much pain he brought me after all the betrayals, I wasn't ready to say goodbye to him.

'I'll be okay.' I faked a smile to John, but instantly he knew I was lying.

He didn't push it though, instead he nodded in return. 'Let me know if you need me.'

'Thank you, John.' I said before I followed Jackson into a room. Raven, Abby and Bellamy looked up as the door opened for Jackson and I.

'What is she doing here?' Abby growled, staring at me as if I came to kill Marcus myself. 'She's going to trigger him and make his condition worse than it already is.'

'Kane personally asked for her. I think he has a right to see her, Abby.' Jackson replied back, 'We should give them some privacy.'

Raven nodded, 'I agree. We'll be right outside if you need us Y/N.'

'Thanks.' Raven and Jackson left the room, Abby still glaring at me as she stood next to Kane laying on the bed.

'I'm not going anywhere Y/N. I don't trust you for-'

'It's okay Abby. Give us some space, I need to speak to her.' Marcus spoke up, putting his hand on hers. 'We will be fine.'

Abby huffed as she headed to the door. 'If anything happens to him, it's on you.'

Bellamy looked at me with sad eyes, I guess he understood my situation with me and Marcus after I told him before he got into the fighting pit; sorry flushed across his face.

He reached for my hand but I quickly swept it away, I didn't even mean to do it. 'I-I want to be alone with him if that's okay, Bellamy?'

'Ah. Sure.' Bellamy whispered, scratching his temple as he left the room.

I slowly walked over to Marcus' bed, holding my breath. I didn't know what to say or what to feel after everything that had happened.

'How are you?' He whispered, not being able to speak loudly. The patient had stabbed Marcus on his neck, causing him to lose a lot of blood.

'I should be the one asking you that.' The bloody bandage on his neck scared me a little, I've never seen him so helpless.

'Physically, I can tolerate this pain but emotionally I'm not okay.' Marcus' voice cracked, 'I'm sorry for what I did to you.'

'What are you sorry about exactly?' I didn't mean to sound petty, I genuinely needed to know if I was ready to forgive him. It hurt that someone I love so much turned his back on me, but it was hard to keep hating him also.

Marcus paused, carefully turning his head toward me. His eyes started to water and he lightly whimpered. 'About everything, monkey.'

I bit my bottom lip, trying to hold my tears in. It made me feel sad for him, but for what? He betrayed me not once but twice; The first time in the bunker after he never believed that Abby blackmailed me and when he turned against Wonkru to work with Diyoza.

His betrayal made me angry but it made me even more upset at myself for still caring for him. Just like he told me at the fighting pit, I tried to stop him for a reason. And that reason was that no matter how much pain he put me through, I cared for him.

'You know, Octavia came to me and told me what happened when the Dark Year began. That Abby had told you to shoot those people. I didn't want to believe that someone I love did those things to you. I also couldn't believe what I saw when you shot and killed Wonkru.'

'But you chose her over me, even when I came up to you about Abby. All those years you took her side and left me in the dark, made it mine and Octavia's fault that the Dark Year happened.'

'I know... I know...' He breathed, 'I just didn't want to admit that Abby would do that. I saw what you did and I didn't wanted to believe that she was behind all of this.'

'So you were okay with blaming me and not her?'

'No, I wasn't. Not at all.' Marcus held his breath, gently wiping his tears that were streaming down his face. 'I was confused, I felt like everything was falling apart. I chose the easy way out, turned you into an enemy. I never even considered how you felt at all.'

It made me mad, knowing that he knew he was wrong for blaming everything on me. All I wanted was a hug, an "I love you" or just any support from him. 'You made my life a living hell.'

'I know Y/N, I know.' He reached for my hand, his hand shaking from weakness. 'I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.'

Leaning in closer to him, I felt his touch on my cheek. It's been a long time since I've been this close to Marcus. 'I was just a kid, I was scared what Abby was going to do to Octavia. She had a gun... and I knew her drug problems and I-'

'I'm sorry, Y/N.' Kane sobbed, caressing my cheek. 'I'm sorry.'

Gently and carefully, I wrapped my arms around Marcus. Making sure not to put my whole weight on him, I hugged him as I buried my face into his chest. Tears fell down my eyes, staining Marcus' shirt with tears which added to the blood stains from his injuries.

'I just wanted you to believe me, that's all I wanted.'

'I'm sorry.' Marcus repeated over and over again. 'I'm proud of you okay? For overcoming this without me, without Bellamy or your sister.'

'Octavia was with me. She helped me through everything.'

'Oh, baby.' He shook his head, holding me tightly as he can with all the strength he had left in him. 'Why did I do this to you again? I told myself after what happened at the Ark, I wouldn't ever do anything to lose you again... Why... why?'

Even though I hated that he took Abby's side, it must've been hard for him to see her in that way. I can never justify or maybe even forgive him when he turned his back on me but I can understand the confusion he must of had.

Everyone knows I was not innocent in this at all. Not at all, not even close.

'Thank you, for apologizing.' I mumbled into his chest, hugging him a little bit longer.

'No, thank you for even coming to talk to me.'

Taking a deep breath, I recollected all my thoughts. I tried to wipe my tears off of his shirt but it all sank in. 'Sorry your shirt is wet now.'

Marcus laughed lightly, shaking his head. 'Don't worry about it. I need a new one anyway.'

Placing my hand on his cheek, I wiped his tears. 'Don't leave me again.'

'I'll try not to.'

'No, promise me you won't. You can't leave me again. Not after all that's happened.'

He looked at me, smiled as he nodded. 'Okay. I promise Y/N.'

Nodding in return, I gave him a kiss on his forehead. 'For good luck.'

'Thank you, monkey.'

'May we meet again.'

Marcus smiled once again, 'I'll see you soon kiddo.'

[skelebonecentral]

Hothouse Rose Chapter 3

you meet the boys. well, most of them

words under cut

It’s less than five minutes, and you’ve managed to find your class ring from high school, showing Papyrus all the icons on it, when someone calls, “PAPYRUS, DEAR!”

“IN HERE, CHARM!” Papy calls back, and you turn to see a skeleton in a leotard and bright pink leather boots looking in. Well, his leotard also had a huge hole cut in the center, showing his ribs and the sheet of toned ecto-flesh that matched his boots to a T. Other than that, he looked like he and Papyrus had pulled lots out of the same gene pool for sure. He looked more like Papyrus than even Sans did.

“Ah! And this must be Y/N,” he came into the room and gently took your hand, bowing and kissing it in one go, “My name is Charm, and I’m so elated to finally meet you.”

You’re a little shocked, still, but clear your throat, “Y-yeah, it’s nice to meet you, too.”

There’s a bit of a shift to your right, and you see someone who looks like a more awake and confident version of Sans looking forlornly at your soot-covered sheets, “Oh, this poor satin is ruined…” As Charm backs away, they look up and run over, “Sweetheart, you’re even more gorgeous than I imagined! I’m Boa, Papyrus’ cousin, and oooh, you’re going to be a dream to make clothes for! I’ve never had a human model before and this is going to be amazing!”

He was wearing a bright blue button-down shirt that had been tailored with a very snatched waist and open shoulders, as well as a matching feather boa (ah, his namesake maybe?) around his shoulders, echoing the color of the upside-down hearts that were his eye lights. His pants were red denim capris, and a purple pillbox hat sporting three feathers sat jauntily on top of his skull.

“BOA, AS MUCH AS I LOVE THE IDEA OF MY DATEMATE IN LOVELY HANDMADE CLOTHES, THEY’RE HAVING A CRISIS AT THE MOMENT, SO MAYBE LATER?” Papyrus gently pulls his cousin away and you just smile. Thank stars for Papyrus.

“Oh, right, sorry.” Boa bops himself on the skull gently and sticks out a sparkling baby-blue tongue. It reminds you of how you found out about skeleton’s making ectoplasm bodies, from Papyrus doing the same thing when you laughed about a candy turning your tongue orange. He’d grinned and showed you his, that it was orange all the time, and you were amazed.

Papyrus gathers his cousins close to his ‘talking corner’ where he’d spoken on the phone, “ALRIGHT. THE GAMEPLAN THUS FAR IS THAT BOA HELPS ME FIGURE OUT WHAT FABRIC THINGS CAN BE SALVAGED AND I’LL DEAL WITH THE OTHER OBJECTS SINCE I’M USED TO UNDYNE’S HOUSE CATCHING FIRE ALL THE TIME. CHARM, YOU TAKE Y/N OUTSIDE SO THEY DON’T GET OVERWHELMED WITH THE LOSS AND MAYBE GET TO KNOW THEM? THEY’RE YOUR HOUSEMATE NOW, TOO, SO IT’S A GOOD IDEA!”

“And does that mean I get a turn to be one on one with Y/n later?” Boa asked, and Papyrus nodded, “Alright, that works for me!”

Charm chuckled, then separated from them and offered you his hand, letting you notice the sleeve of his outfit was tied by a band to his middle finger, “Alright, dear, let me take you to the yard and we’ll find a sitting place to talk a bit.”

“There’s a stump in the backyard, kind of a good seat along with the one deck chair…if it’s still there,” you offer, and he nods, steering you out of the collapsed side wall and to the back, letting you take the stump and he perches on the edge of the smoke-smelling chair since one arm has melted slightly, being made of plastic.

“Alright, Y/n, you already know I’m Papyrus’ cousin, and I know you’re his datemate, but we’re otherwise strangers. Let’s change that. Twenty questions?” Charm asked and you snort a bit.

“Sure. Why not? I’ll go first. What do you do for work?”

He smiled, “I’m a masseuse, I work at the massage parlor in the shops across from campus. Of course, that’s only since I came here, but it’s good work. What about you? What paid the rent here?” He crossed one leg over the other at the knee, using his hands to hold that leg steady. He sat straight as a board, just like Papyrus did.

“Well, I work for the main library. I mostly check in returns, make sure they’re not damaged, that kind of thing. I started off as a part timer, but last semester they hired me full time and I’m really liking it.” You had to call in to work, too. But that was tomorrow. “Okay, how are you finding the town? Is it anything like Snowdin? I know that’s where Papyrus comes from, I guess you do, too?”

Charm nodded, “Well, we’re from very different backgrounds, but no, it’s not like home at all. So many humans, so much isolation from other people. It’s very different up here. But I do like it. All the space, all the life and light and sound. It’s exciting. Now, I want to know,” he grinned as he tilted his head a bit, “What’s University like? I’ve never been, but humans seem to think it’s a very exciting time of self discovery. Is it rumor or truth?”

Finally getting used to the smell of smoke, you laugh without coughing now, “Ah, well, that depends on who’s talking. For me, it’s been more about discovering other people. I spent most of my childhood just being with my family since I was an awkward kid, so I’m making friends…though it’s ended up mostly making monster friends. Humans are weird, even to other humans.”

Humming a bit, Charm seems to consider it, then asks, “And your love life? That’s the thing about university I’m curious about. Well, human love in general is fascinating to me.”

You blush, feeling awkward now, “Uh…I didn’t date, before Papyrus. So um…I don’t have one? Never have?”

He blinks, then sighs, one hand being slapped over his sockets “Oh stars, no wonder he had to call me to ask if you could move in. You’re both hermit crabs all closed up in shells. Good grief.”

A spark of irritation ignites in your chest, “Well, that and he’s a polite person. You don’t just throw someone into a home and say ‘okay they live here now’ without asking the other people who live there. That would be horrid and incredibly insulting to everyone. A breach of privacy.”

Charm winces, nodding, “I didn’t think about it that way. Privacy wasn’t a big thing in my home, my brother and I just brought people in as we saw fit but…that’s no excuse for upsetting you. I’m sorry.”

Oh, you hadn’t meant to get an apology about it. “N-no, I…I got mad for no reason. I guess it’s the stress, you’re fine, Charm. I just am very private, about most everything, so it sort of panics me to think I’d have to suddenly…without warning deal with another person I didn’t know. I can understand why one of you didn’t want to let me in and I’m kind of scared to go if we’re honest.”

Something in his expression shifted, and Charm smiled warmly as he settled into a more basic sitting position, putting his leg down as he cooed, “Oh, human, I’m very sorry for overstepping then. It’s still so new for me, I forget people keep their walls up out of self-protection. You deserve to be comfortable, and there’s no need to be frightened. I won’t be snooping in your room or things once we get you home, and neither will Boa or my brother. Or Boa’s brother, now that I think about it, since he’s just as private. Our own little hermit, Sweet-pea is.”

“His name is Sweet-pea?” you smile a little, “All of you have such unique names, I really like them.”

Charm gets a bit of his confident glow back, “Oh, yes, thank you. They’re nicknames, actually, since we either didn’t like or didn’t want to use our real ones. Sans and Papyrus are the only ones going by legal names in our house.” He laughs a bit, sounding very much like Papyrus, if softer than normal.

“That’s cool. I knew a lot of kids that didn’t go by their full name, or went by middle names or something. It’s pretty common, especially if there’s more than one kid with the same name in a class.”

His sockets crinkle, “Well, that’s something I didn’t know. It’s rather fun talking to you, you know? I see how you charmed my cousin so completely now.”

You just blush. So many compliments…

---

“Papyrus, really, there’s nothing to be done! Alphys might be able to fix the computer, and we can dry the books, but I don’t know about the rest of this stuff. We’d have to call a professional conservator.” Boa frowned. “Human furniture isn’t made to hold up against water and soot like monster manufactured stuff.”

“I KNOW BUT…I JUST FEEL LIKE I FAILED THEM.” Papyrus slumps as he drops the ruined sweater he’d been holding. “AFTER SAYING I’D HELP, AND I HAVE TO TELL THEM IT’S USELESS.”

Boa sighed and touched his arm gently, “But you did help. You got them out there with Charm, away from this mess and all the soot and grime that could hurt their human body, and you called in the only expert you knew.” Seeing that Papyrus was crying, he moved in front, holding both Papyrus’ hands, “I know it hurts, but remember, they love you and trust you to make good choices for them. They wouldn’t have asked you to be with them during this time otherwise!”

He just nodded, “I’M JUST KIND OF OVERWHELMED WITH EVERYTHING. IT’S JUST SO SAD THEY’VE LOST SO MUCH, AND I DON’T KNOW IF THEY’RE GOING TO LIKE IT AT OUR HOUSE. I’M SCARED WHIP MIGHT SCARE THEM OFF, OR…”

Boa quirked his mouth, finishing the sentence, “Or any of the rest of us with our predilection toward pleasure. Because you’re both shy little virgins despite our best efforts on trying to help!”

“BOA!”

“No, it’s true!” Boa grinned, purposefully taking this thread to get Papyrus away from being sad, “We’re all about being sexy scary skeletons! Oh, look at me!” He took a sensual pose and pouted, “Aren’t I terrifying being an inch shorter than your human and covered in feathers! Look at my very obvious boner that’s always there because I’m so sexy! Are you looking, Papyrus?” He’s teasing, expression bright as he tries not to giggle, and Papryus groans and covers his face from blushing.

“BOA, I GET IT. I’M A NERVOUS NELLIE, ESPECIALLY COMPARED TO ALL OF YOU, BUT THEY’RE VERY IMPORTANT TO ME! ALSO YOU’RE LUCKY I CAN FEEL YOUR INTENT OR I’D THINK YOU WERE HURT BY WHAT I SAID.”

Stopping his posturing, Boa waltzed back to his side and let his laughter out, “Oh, Papyrus, I’m sorry. I know reading people isn’t as easy for you as other monsters, but I had to make you smile. I did do that, didn’t I?”

He’s peeking around Papyrus’ hands, but beams as they’re lowered and a put-upon grin is on the taller skeleton’s face, “YOU DID AND I’M MAD ABOUT IT!”

“That’s my good cousin. Now, we’ll find someone reputable to help with this, but in the meantime, let’s pack everything that’s in one piece up carefully and get Y/n back to our house,” eye lights sparkling, Boa sets about doing just that, pulling various cardboard boxes out of his inventory and carefully placing things inside. “And of course we’re going to pay for the cleaning and such. Poor Y/n is still paying for school, after all. I remember how expensive that proposition was, and that was in the Underground!”

“I DO AGREE, BUT REMEMBER THAT JUST BECAUSE READER ISN’T RICH DOESN’T MEAN THEY’RE HELPLESS. HUMAN ECONOMICS ARE VERY STRANGE, BUT THEY LIKE TRYING TO MAKE IT ON THEIR OWN. I ALREADY HAD THAT TALKING TO, SO I’M GIVING YOU THE SHORT VERISON. THEY SEE US BUYING THEIR EVERY WHIM AS DEGRADING AND INFANTILIZING. SO DON’T,” Papyrus cringed internally thinking about the dressing down he got when the gold exchange finally came in. His idea of pampering was your idea of pity and it did NOT go over well. Your first fight, actually, and he was so glad you forgave him for the misstep when he explained where he was coming from. He didn’t try to buy everything for you, just gifts for special occasions, and you bought your own everything.

Boa blinked a bit, then nodded, “Oh, of course. I can understand that mindset. But…but they will let us help them a little, right? They at least have to buy new clothes…” His eyes lit up brighter, “Oh, that can be my turn! Charm got them this couple of hours and I get to take them shopping. I won’t!” he saw Papyrus’ mouth opening, “I won’t buy everything for them, but I will convince them to let us go halvesies as my welcome home present for them. That’s fair, right?”

“I…SUPPOSE SO, YES. OKAY.” Papyrus looked around the room, where he and y/n had spent so much time, where he’d first asked them to date, and felt incredibly down. Now it was just the memories left,  the place stolen from them in moments. “JUST ASK THEIR PERMISSION FIRST. ABOUT PRETTY MUCH ANYTHING.”

Boa took his hand and smiled, “Certainly. Now let’s go get your datemate.”

--

Boa eagerly ran out and giggled when he saw what was happening.

Charm was carefully massaging you as you sat on the deck chair, skilled hands having already turned you to putty as he worked out all your stress.

“I SEE YOU TWO GOT ALONG WELL,” Papyrus is very glad someone was helping you relax, and you did look much happier. “CHARM, THANK YOU FOR HELPING. WE’VE GOT WHAT WE’RE GOING TO SEND FOR CLEANING PACKED UP, AND WE’LL HAVE SOMEONE REVIEW THE FURNITURE ONCE WE DO SOME RESEARCH.” He then turned to you, as you opened your eyes, looking half asleep, “I’M AFRAID WE CAN’T LET YOU HAVE ANY OF THE CLOTHES, THOUGH. THEY’RE ALL WET AND/OR COVERED IN SOOT.”

A flash of worry, and Boa stepped up, “But! I thought maybe me and you could go shopping to get you things to hold you over. And I could buy some of it as your welcome home present~” He grins, and you relax a little.

“Aren’t you a fabrics expert? You aren’t going to like what I buy. I’m not fashionable. If it doesn’t have a fun picture or saying on it, I usually don’t buy it.”

Hands in the air like a surrendering general, Boa nodded, “It’s true, I make fashion, sew it together every day, but Y/n, dear, you’re Papyrus’ datemate, and I would rather you be comfy than stylish. Besides, how will I know what you like to wear if I don’t see what you pick yourself? Comfort is just as important as appearance, you know!”

“Human fashion doesn’t work that way, but I’m glad you think so,” you reluctantly leave your position of bliss and get up, brushing off your clothes. “Papy, are you sure you don’t want to come with me?”

“I’D LOVE TO, BUT CHARM AND I ARE GOING TO HEAD HOME AND GET YOUR ROOM READY FOR YOU. WE’VE GOT SOME STORED FURNITURE TO PUT BACK TOGETHER AND A DEEP CLEAN OF THE ROOM AND ALL COMMUNAL SPACES TO DO!” He did come over and nuzzle his teeth to your forehead gently, “BUT I TRUST BOA TO TAKE CARE OF YOU, AND I’LL BE A PHONE CALL AWAY IF YOU NEED ME, ALRIGHT?”

“Okay. You take care and don’t overdo yourself. I want you being safe more than I want a new room,” you did worry when he started doing projects. He was strong, but you weren’t sure where his limit was and preferred being cautious about it.

“I PROMISE! CHARM IS GOING TO HELP ME, RIGHT?” He looks to his cousin, who nods happily.

“I do love a good furniture assembly. Now, you two behave and I’ll see you both when you come home.” He gave you a squeeze, then did the same to Boa before heading to the front yard.

Sighing, you motioned for Boa to follow you to the street. Both you and Papyrus had been too upset last night to drive, so your car was still sitting in the driveway, undamaged. It was a nice little thing, navy blue Taurus with a few years on it, and you sank with a sigh into the familiar seat.

“Oooh, your car is so sweet! A little sedan, so family friendly. I love it.” Boa slipped into the passenger seat and clicked his belt on happily. “Nice choice, very forward thinking.”

“What? This was one of my Aunt’s car. She gifted it to me so I could drive around school.”

“Oh.” Boa blinked, then shrugged, “Still, if you and Papy do have kids, you have the room.”

“Boa!” You blushed, glad you’d only started the engine and not pulled out onto the street, “What is with you and Charm saying all these things about my relationship with Papyrus! We’re dating, we’re not anywhere close to thinking about children!”

Boa seemed to realize something and looked horrified, “Oh stars, I’m sorry! Kids are all people I knew thought about in relationships and I didn’t realize! It was different here! I’m sorry!” His voice got small, nervous, “It’s just so different here, and I don’t know what’s appropriate outside the house yet since most of the others think like that, too. I really don’t mean to overstep.”

Steadying breaths in and out, and you shook it off, “It’s okay. There’s going to be culture differences, I get that, and I’m going to try and be understanding.” You finally got started down the road, heading to the local Poplar, a big box store and your preferred shopping experience. “So, the goal of relationships underground was more about kids than love?”

“Oh, well…kind of? Short term ones were, anyway,” Boa thinks for a moment. “There was just this pervasive idea that the end goal of any relationship was to have kids. Not that there were many kids even so, but it was still a big deal and the whole town would help raise the cutie, but…love was more reserved for older folks who were done giving their all to increase the population.”

You blinked a bit. Papyrus had told you, early on, that the Underground was way too crowded by the time Frisk set them all free. The Capitol was overflowing into the other areas of the underground, and there were worries about what would happen when everywhere was full. But? Well, you weren’t exactly in a place to call out the hypocrisies in a different society than your own. “Huh. Interesting. I’m not good at conversation, so you tell me whether you want me to talk about how humans do things now or if you want more questions on your end of things.”

He giggled, and it sounded utterly adorable, “Well, I’d like to know about humans. Your relationships aren’t all about babies?”

“Oh heck no. Most folks my age would rather jump off a bridge than have kids willingly,” you snort. “I mean, outside of a marriage, having a kid would be really hard and upsetting. You don’t have the money, you don’t have a partner to support you and the kid, you don’t have two families worth of folks who’d maybe watch the kid while you work…nah, we mostly have kids as an obligation after marriage because it’s EXPECTED that you have them.”

The silence in the passenger seat makes you look over once you’re at a stop light and Boa looks grey from how much color his skull has lost.

“Boa? Did I go too ham on you? Is…is it that shocking?” you didn’t think about it, just spouting out what you thought and your view on the subject.

He just nodded, “I…first the implication that people are having children against their will is terrifying, secondly, what….how do…is the community unsupportive of people who are single but have children?”

“Kind of, yeah. Most of those people are either divorced, or had kids before they were married, and most of them are women.” You sigh, “Society up here tends to look down on women if they do anything, but especially if you aren’t ‘pure’ or whatever and have kids out of marriage. For some reason that I never understood, the idea that a woman had sex with someone without getting married to them first is scandalous and her having a child she can’t support is seen as just punishment. I don’t get it. Not at all.”

You pull into the parking lot and park in a far slot, turning to Boa. He’s shaking, the rattling of his bones very audible. “I’m sorry if this is hard for you to learn, but I just want to make that clear to you so you can know when some human says something nasty about that subject. It’s evil, it’s messed up, and I hate it, but it’s how things are on the surface right this moment. I hope it changes soon.”

Boa sniffles, then unbuckles his belt and hugs you tight. He doesn’t speak, not for a long time, but he does hold you and you can’t fault him. Stars, coming from a world where kids were supported by everyone to a world where people genuinely didn’t care if a child was well cared for or not must be horrible. Poor guy.

After a while, he calms down and finally talks, “No wonder Sans has kept us all close to the house. I’m kind of glad my brother isn’t out here exposed to that kind of warped thinking.” He searches your face for a moment, then sighs, “But you’re good. You genuinely love Papyrus, I can tell. Thank stars he found someone whose mind isn’t full of such negativity.”

Letting him go takes some doing, since you don’t want to, but you manage it, “I know. With how much he likes platonic cuddling, people could have really hurt him if he wasn’t just such a ray of sunshine. I’m very lucky to have him, too.”

Boa nodded, then opened his door, “Okay, enough culture shock for today! Now we focus on you and your wonderful new wardrobe. Or at least a week’s worth of clothes? I’m sure between Papyrus, Sans, Charm, and I, we can find a good conservator and get your things fixed and cleaned by then.”

That works for you, and you get out and lock the door behind you. The two of you walk into the shop and Boa looks eager now, all gloom gone and his bones gleaming white again. “OH, Y/n, there are so many options! They’re all a little conservative for my taste but they’re sure to work for you.”

Laughing, you nod and get to work. Clothes shopping is always tedious for you, but you at least know that comfy shirts are one size and dress shirts are a different one, at least at this store. Your everyday shirts are your basic graphic t’s, or maybe a colorful gradient of your favorite hues, and your dressy outfits consist of black pants or slacks and a fancy shirt. You went through the wracks of clothes, choosing seven comfy shirts, seven casual shirts, and three fancy ones. Then you went to the bottoms, picking out four pairs of jeans, black dress pants, and a pair of black slacks. Boa didn’t say much, just watching you, occasionally humming.

Then you got some more sleepwear, since MTT pajamas were nice but couldn’t be worn every night for the whole of your stay with the skeletons. So, you got some warm pajamas, and some cool ones. Four of each kind. All of them had pants because you were going to be living in a house with other people, thus you had to wear pants at all times in case others entered your space without warning. No flashing people.

But as you turned and headed toward the check out, Boa grabbed your arm, “Whoa! Human, where are you going? You didn’t even try any of them on to see if they fit right!”

“I…don’t care?” you were confused. You’d always bought clothes this way. “Trying on clothes just makes me feel bad, and I’d rather do it in my own home. I can bring them back for better sizes if they don’t fit.”

His eye lights widened, mouth ajar. Then he got a very stern look on his face, “I’m sorry, but as a tailor I can’t allow you to settle for bad fits. We’re going to the changing room, and you’re going to show me what you have there. I’ll tell you if it’s good or not, and we’ll make the exchange here. If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right the first time!”

A man in an aisle across from you yelled, “Hey, monster tart! Leave them alone!”

You yelled back without even thinking, “Fuck off, asshat, that’s my roommate!”

He glared at you, then turned away and left you alone. Boa looked sort of deflated, though, and you had to ask, “Hey, are you okay? I’m sorry he called you names.”

“Oh, no…with what you told me about humans, he’s entirely correct but…it did hurt to feel how much he hated me. Um…” He was fidgeting with his feathers, wrapping them tighter around his neck.

“Let’s get to the changing rooms, okay?” you smile. It was worth you being a little self-conscious if it made up for this horrible interruption of your time with Boa.

He nodded, working up a smile again, and taking you back to the changing rooms.

It took a long time, putting on each of your outfits and coming out to show Boa. You knew what size you usually wore, but he still had to peruse your clothes in a circle before he agreed that any given item was probably the best ‘off the rack’ fit you were going to get. You did have to wave him off when he asked about your underthings.

“Nope! I’ll buy them after I send you to the car. I’m not letting you see those.”

“Huh? But foundation garments are important to fit! I’m guessing you have your best set on since you were on a date before the fire bu-“

“Boa! Personal space rules!”

“Oh. Oh right, you have those here,” he looked very frustrated, but sighed, “Okay. I’m going to be understanding of the ‘cultural difference’ too, and let you keep your foundations private even if I don’t understand why. You humored me, so I’ll do the same. I’m sorry I hit a nerve again.”

“Okay. Apology accepted.” You felt like that Jurassic Park guy fending off raptors, even if it was just Boa. “Okay. Here are my keys, go wait for me. Feel free to turn on the radio or air conditioning or whatever you need while you wait.”

Taking the keys, he suddenly seemed in awe, “Oh…oh wow, you really trust me! A car is a big investment and you gave me your keys!” He giggled and took off, waving at you as he went. Seems that little gesture was enough to brighten him back up fully.

Taking a deep breath, you turn back and go to pick up some packs of underwear and sportswear. Even if you did want to keep these garments private, it felt weirdly empty without the colorful skeleton next to you.

--

Boa was bopping along to some bubblegum pop when you get back to the car. You put your bags in the trunk, which he dutifully pops for you, and then come back to the front and get in the driver’s seat.

“I really didn’t meant to step on your toes at any point, Y/n,” he looked sheepish as you started the engine, “but I want to thank you so much for defending me. Papyrus really has chosen a wonderful person, if you’d stand up to someone else when we’re barely acquainted.”

“That’s just being decent, Boa. I shouldn’t need thanks for doing the right thing, but I do appreciate you helping me with my clothes so I feel like we’re even.” You couldn’t have the endless thanks. It made you squirm, someone praising you for something that just came automatically. Papyrus had learned not to go overboard quickly, and you really hoped Boa would, too.

“Alright, but I hope you don’t mind me talking you up to my brother when we get home.” Boa looked out the window and sighed, “As different as things are, I really want Sweet-pea to see the surface. Um, that’s his name, my brother.”

“Charm told me about him. He’s a homebody, right?”

Boa nodded, “He had a pretty bad relationship that made him…reclusive. I try to get him to go out, but the porch is about the limit at this point. And not even the front porch either…”

“Well, if he’s half as good a person as you are, then I’m sure I’ll adore him,” you might as well encourage him, after all. He was a fascinating little skeleton, and his energy really made you happy. That and just how vibrant he was. That cute little blue star painted on his right cheek and the little jewel you saw (glued?) on the front of his neck vertebra were adorable. “Now, you’re going to direct me to the house?”

“Oh! Yes. Here let me look, I’m a visual direction giver.”

--

The neighborhood the skeletons lived in was full of ostentatious mansions. It used to be part of the Greek life in the university, but had fallen out of grace and now was owned by the richer folks around town or had been turned into high end apartments. You marvelled at the nice gated carpark that your new home had, as well as the white columns and dark grey roof contrasting with the bright red brick. You could see faded areas above the door, where the Greek letters of the former owners resided, but if you squinted, it looked a bit like a sideways skull-and-crossbones. You liked that.

“We’re back, everyone!” Boa called, and there was a sudden surge of magic that left you tingling.

You were used to this by now. “Hi, Sans,” you smile as you look to your right, and there he is, standing right next to you looking exhausted. Well, more than usual.

“heya, pal.” He looked you over for a moment, then hugged you tight. “sorry, just felt like it. was still worried sick all last night.”

You hug him back and feel warm inside, “Sans, you know I appreciate that you care about me so much, but I don’t want you hurting yourself doing it. Remember, you are allowed to relax.”

“you taking Dr. Kevin’s job?”

“No. I am not your therapist, you dork,” You still kissed the top of his skull though, since he was hiding his face in your shoulder. “I’m your friend.”

“yeah, okay.”

Patting his back for a bit, he finally let go, “okay, I’ll stop monopolizing the human, as my bro is sure to say if I don’t stop.”

“I’d also say it!” Boa had his hands on his hips, looking smugly at Sans, “But it was just too cute to see you actually showing an emotion other than tired.”

“I’M COMING!” Came Papyrus’ voice from the staircase further back in the large entry hall you were standing in. There were beautiful wooden designs in the floor, lovely geometric patterns of squares and diamonds and other shapes, and a small Moroccan style chandelier above made of white smoked glass and gold scrollwork. The golden wood of the floor was matched by the slightly curved staircase that led up to the second floor (where you assumed the beds were) and where your dear Papyrus was currently bounding down.

Your giggles bounced off the high white walls as he spun you, making you glad you slipped off your shoes while looking about, “I MISSED YOU!”

“You just saw me a couple of hours ago!”

“THAT FELT LIKE FOREVER WHEN I’M SO EAGER FOR YOU TO SEE HOW CHARM AND I HAVE SET UP YOUR ROOM!”

Charm was at the top of the stairs, smiling as he leaned over, “Boa, did you make sure they did good picking out their new clothes?”

“I did! I made them try everything on first, but they wouldn’t let me help with foundation garments!” Boa gestured helplessly at you as Papyrus set you down, looking confused.

“Before you even ask, he means underthings,” you might as well warn them.

Sans, who was in the corner, turned bright navy blue all over his skull, and you grinned, “That’s how I reacted when he tried to help pick them out.”

Charm just smiled wider, “Oh, Y/n, so shy but so lovely. Has Papyrus even seen your ‘foundations’?”

“I DON’T THINK THAT’S APPROPRIATE!” the mentioned skeleton clears his ‘throat’ loudly and then pulls you toward the stairs, even grabbing the bags of your clothes with one hand, “SO, LET'S GO SEE YOUR NEW ROOM INSTEAD!”

Up the stairs you go as Boa and Charm laugh, and you hug Papyrus when he stops in front of the last door on the left of the corridor, “Hey, at least I know why you were going stir crazy when they first got here now.”

“YES, WELL, SMALL BLESSINGS.” He gave your head a pat and gestured to the door, “LET’S TAKE A LOOK?”

“Yes, let’s,” you let go and open the door, gasping.

The room itself is a nice size, though you realize it was probably meant for two students to share, but you get it to yourself, with the full bed sitting low on the floor and covered in a swirling rainbow sheet set. The walls were a soft yellow that felt like an early summer morning, and the floor was covered in a mocha carpet that felt so nice under your feet. “Papyrus, this is wonderful.”

“I TRIED TO MAKE IT NICE FOR YOU,” he points at the bed, but you’re guessing he means the mattress, “WE HAD THAT IN CASE FRISK’S HUMAN MOM WANTED TO STAY WHEN WE HAVE A SLEEPOVER. BUT WE NEVER USED IT AT THE OLD HOUSE SO WE BROUGHT IT HERE AND…WELL, IT WORKED OUT. CHARM AND BOA HAD ALREADY BOUGHT THE SHEETS BY THE TIME I GOT HERE,  AND THE REST OF THE FURNITURE,” being a lovely cherry wood wardrobe that matched the bed frame, chest of drawers, and bedside table, “WAS IN OUR HOUSE FOREVER AND I DON’T KNOW WHY. THE WARDROBE HAD A BUNCH OF OLD LAB COATS, SO I GUESS IT WAS SANS’ AT SOME POINT? BUT IT’S ALL CLEAN AND SHINED NOW.”

It didn’t strike you as likely that these classy, rather old-fashioned pieces would be something Sans owned, but why else would there be lab coats in it? But you didn’t mind either way. “This is amazing! I’m just…” You throw up your hands dramatically, “Look at it! It’s so beautiful and perfect and…and oh my gosh this is my room.” You start sniffling and put your hands over your mouth. You hate how emotional you are about this, all of this, but it was to be expected, wasn’t it? Losing your home only to gain a beautiful room in your boyfriend’s house and at least two new…friends? Would Charm and Boa count as friends yet? You weren’t sure but you did like both of them quite a bit.

Carefully, Papyrus lifted you up and set you on the bed, using his softest voice as he gets on his knees in front of you and holds your hands, “Just let out anything you need to, love. I was so happy to put all this together for you, and knowing I get to see you every morning now is so exciting. I know you need your space to process, because stars knows I would, so I’ll let you put your things away. I do have to go to work for a bit, but I will be back by six tonight.”

“Okay,” You give him a kiss, giggling wetly, “I just have so many emotions right now, but I’ll sort them out while I put my stuff away.”

A cry of outrage from downstairs, “THEY TRICKED ME INTO LETTING THEM BUY EVERYTHING!!!” and you laugh.

“DID YOU REALLY?” Papyrus looked at you as he got up.

“It wasn’t intentional, but yes.” You grin, “He had to leave before I bought the private stuff! I didn’t even think about Boa’s offer until just now.”

Papy scoffs, but he smiles, “YOU’RE CHEEKY, YOU ARE. BUT IT’S ONE OF THE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT YOU. ONE OF QUITE A LOT!” Stepping to the door, he sighs wistfully, “ALRIGHT. I’LL GO NOW, BUT WE’LL CELEBRATE YOUR HOMECOMING WITH A GOOD DINNER TONIGHT. I LOVE YOU!”

“Love you, too!” you call as he walks out, and you wipe your eyes before taking the bags  of your clothes and starting the process of ripping off tags.

--

You don’t know what to do now. You’re done putting your clothes away, you feel a little more emotionally stable, but you don’t want to leave your room. So here you are, sitting on the carpet, staring out the window on the back wall (though it’s the front of the house so…?)

There’s a knock on your door, and being used to Sans, you ask, “Who’s there?”

“maya”

That’s a new voice. Kind of soft like Sans’, more in his range than Papyrus’, but lighter and slightly higher. “Maya who?”

“maya come in and meet my new housemate?”

“Okay.” You look at the door as it opens, and are interested when it’s someone that looks like Sans but seems to be wearing a dancer’s outfit under a pimp coat. He’s got a black tanktop on that’s cropped just under his ribs, with a bright blue heart in the middle of it, purple ecto down to the wings of his hips, which stick out over his tight black capris. He chuckles and his sockets even crinkle a little as he smiles.

“heya. I’m charm’s older brother. name’s sugar.”

“Sugar and Charm…you two sound like a breakfast cereal.” He snorts and covers his mouth, laughing a little.

“I mean, mornings aren’t really my things, but midnight snacks are good for me. so you’re the human that has little innocent papyrus all flustered all the time, right? heh, it’s pretty cute. Gives my bro lots to work with on learning how things work around humans, so I have to thank you.” Sugar gestures a little, “can I come in?”

“Oh, yeah, sit anywhere. I spent hours with your brother earlier, you’re more than welcome.” You still don’t feel quite like this is actually YOUR room, even if you know it is objectively. It’ll take a while to set in, so you don’t feel intruded on.

“yeah, he told me you two had a good chat. Also told me you were one of the most tense people he’s ever massaged,” Sugar plopped onto the floor next to you, his purple jacket with blue fur trim flaring out around him, the heeled boots matching said fur clicking as he put the bottoms together, “but I can get that. you’ve been through a lot.”

“Yeah…I really appreciated him doing that massage for me. It helped me not be teary while I was out buying clothes with Boa. Nobody wants to cry in public,” you shrug, and Sugar nods.

“hehe, you’re right. and boa’s going to get you back for not letting him spoil you on that. dunno how, but he’s going to do something extravagant to get you to accept his gesture of friendship,” He’s amused, you can tell by the glitter in his purple heart eye lights. Sans gets the same glitter when he’s about to tell a horrible pun just to make Papyrus react.

“Oh, I don’t doubt it from that outrage I heard earlier. But I do hope he realizes he can be my friend without gifts?” You look at Sugar and he nods.

“yeah, but that’s one of his love languages, gift giving. Me, I’m a cuddler, but he likes seeing his friends and family get happy about cool presents,” Sugar leaned on his hands in front of him, “so, what about you, y/n? what do you do to show folks you care?”

Thinking, you giggle, “Well, I guess Boa and I have gift giving in common, but I also like to just say it. Papyrus and I have been saying ‘I love you’ since before we were even dating. Yeah, he said it first, but I think he’d probably have stopped if I hadn’t kept going. It’s just so easy to say, when you believe it.”

“ah, a vocal one. That’s good. other than my brother, nobody else is really verbal with their feelings. That’ll be nice, hearing you and pap being so cute.” He chuckled, “ah, well, I also heard you like languages. How many are you fluent in?”

“oh,” you blush, “uh…I just started my language classes last semester, so just the one. I really would like to have at least five that I can read and understand, even if I can’t speak well or maybe write it if it’s something like Thai or Mandarin.”

“That’s a pretty cool goal,” Sugar thought about it. “so what do you plan to do with that job wise?”

“I want to translate, maybe for children’s books? Some of my favorites growing up came from Germany originally and I’d love to find something great and bring it to other people,” the thought of your career dream makes you perk up more. “What about you, Sugar? I know Charm is a massage person, but what do you do for work?”

He blinked, then laughed, “Oh, I’m an entertainer. I dance mostly, but I don’t think you’d like it.”

“Why not?” you think seeing one of the skeletons dancing would be a great time. You always thought watching Sans or Papyrus move was just fascinating.

“well,” he smirked a bit, “you enjoy strip clubs?”

You felt how big your eyes became as the heat burned your face, “Oh god no!”

He laughs, “See? It pays nice, since I found a reputable place, and I feel good about what I do, but for someone as sheltered as you, I figured you’d not like it.” Getting up, he sighs, “but it’s no harm done, sweetie. I just wanted to introduce myself and say I was glad we’re able to help you out when you’re down.” With a wave and a grin, he flounces out of the room, and you blink in mild shock.

Were….were you sheltered? You hadn’t thought so, you thought you were okay and reactions like yours were normal, but you supposed you could be wrong. Thinking back to what Boa had told you, you start to wonder.

--

Well, time to go see if you can borrow some of Papyrus’ text books. Thankfully, you were both taking Spanish right now, so even your language text book could be borrowed. You wanted to at least know you could put your hands on it when needed.

You’d gotten the idea an hour after Sugar left, when you were bored of pondering your state of sheltered-or-not, and now you opened your door and scurried over to Papyrus’ room. It was always spotless, or it had been the times you’d been over before the Sans incident. It was weird, realizing you hadn’t been back to his house since then.

His new room was set up just like his old one, about the same size, too, and you found his bookshelf easily. It was right against the wall opposite the door, after all. So you sat on his floor and started looking at the last lesson you remembered.

You were immersed in your studies, curiously glancing at future lessons, when a deep, gravelly voice said, “well well well, we got ourselves a little mouse in papyrus’ room.”

A squeak came out of your mouth, and when you looked up you did not feel reassured. Yes, it was a skeleton, like you’d been expecting, but he was so different than any you’d met before. His teeth were sharp, every one of them, and one was replaced with gold. A huge red dog collar hung around his neck, gold spikes all over, and he wore the tattered remains of a white muscle shirt around his chest. His most obvious features was the thick red ecto that spilled over the top of his black denim shorts and out the bottoms in hefty red thighs tapering off at the knee.

“Y-you’re one of his cousins, right? I’m Y/n,” it wasn’t supposed to come out so nervous, but this guy looked like he could crush you in fifty different ways.

His grin turned a little more into a smirk, “thought so. Name’s spice, sweet cheeks.” He came in and sat himself on Papyrus’ bed. “now, what exactly are ya doin’ in here with these books?”

“Mine are damaged from the fire, so I was looking over our lessons,” why did he make you feel like you’d done something horrible just by the look on his face?

“oh. yeah, forgot about that. heh, well, ain’t that cute?” He had his elbows on his knees, hands hanging between them as he leaned over to look at you, “really are a little bookworm, huh? sansy said you’re the one who got pap to go to school in the first place. wonder how that happened?”

“I really don’t know, but he seemed interested before I talked about what I do at school.” You didn’t like how his eye lights were analyzing every move you made, or maybe they were roaming over you, you didn’t know.

“yeah, sounds about right.” he leans back a bit, scratching at his cheekbone. “sugar said you an’ pap are peas in a pod, all shy’n shit about sex.”

“SHHH!!!” you are instantly on edge, looking at the wide open door and the skeleton who seems to have no boundaries.

He laughs hard, “Oh! Oh he was right! hahaha, oh shit, you’re turnin’ into’a tomato!”

Covering your face, you feel the fluster turning into tears because you can’t handle it, to the point you don’t notice when Spice stopped laughing and went quiet.

“hey, human. hey, you okay?”

You shook your head, and he groaned, “shit, I fucked it up. I was just tryin’ ta tease ya, an’ then I go and make ya upset. Geeze, no wonder I can’t get a date. ‘m sorry, okay? please don’t be upset or pap and sansy’ll probably dust me. wait, that’s manipulative, shit!”

He got up and ran out, and you heard a door shut down the hall. It took you a few moments to contain your fluster, but you finished your cry and gathered up the textbooks. You’d do your studying in your own room now until Papyrus got home.

Still, you’d now met four out of six of Papyrus’ cousins. And you remembered that one of them had voted against you staying. Was that Spice? Or was it one of the two you hadn’t met?

[jungseonghwa]

Some Things That Need To Be Addressed.  Please Read.

Note: this is not to attack anyone, this is to inform everyone that a lot of us are getting sick of the disrespect.

1.  Understanding Boundaries (sexually and non-sexually)

THIS ONE IS VERY FUCKING IMPORTANT.  We are people, we have our comfort zone and things we are not okay with sexually and not.  RESPECT IT BECAUSE YOU EXPECT US TO RESPECT YOURS.  We are human beings just like you, so when my friends come to me saying you didn’t respect them saying “no” or that you won’t leave them or someone else alone, I get mad.  Follow the golden rule guys.  Treat others the way you want to be treated.

WE HAVE A RIGHT TO SAY NO AND WE ASK THAT YOU RESPECT THAT.

2. Chatbot Group Chat Privacy 

I understand group chats are public for people to see, but that is our group of friends and we are there to have fun, roleplay and do our own thing and we usually specify if it’s just for chatbots.  You probably wouldn’t want people reading your conversations with chatbots or reading some of the conversations you have with your friends.  This also goes for other chatbots.  You should understand that we want privacy more than anyone else.  We need to rant and let our anger out sometimes just like everyone else and we should be able to do it within the safety of our friend group.  Please give us the same respect and don’t sit there scrolling through our chats like you’re a part of it.

3. Roleplay vs. Reality

This is for chatbots and yn’s.  You guys need to understand this is all FAKE and we’re not the idols.  I will repeat WE ARE PEOPLE.  I have had many instances where some people cross the line between roleplaying with us and reality.  We are not your therapists unless we offer to help, do not take our advice to heart and then get mad at us when it doesn’t work.  Chatbots do this for fun and because we want to, but some people take it to an extreme and it makes us extremely uncomfortable.  Don’t forget we have feelings.

4. Aftercare 

MAINLY FOR DOMS, BUT SUBS TOO.  YOUR SUB DESERVES AFTERCARE NO MATTER WHAT.  They should not have to ask for it, you should automatically give it to them.  Especially if you get kinky and nasty, they need a cool down period and be shown love and praised for doing what they did.

5. REAL PEOPLE

We are people behind these blogs.  We have lives, we have jobs, families, friends, shit to do.  Don’t get mad when you think we’re ignoring you.  Yes sometimes we are, but that’s because we’re busy or we’re not in the right mood to roleplay and want a break because this shit gets exhausting, especially if you’re talking to a lot of people at once.  I talked to over 40 people at a time and never got a break and got so sick of it because I no longer had time to myself with you guys spam messaging me because I’m not responding fast enough.

6. Plot

Coming up with the plot is fucking stressful because we don’t know what you guys like or are comfortable with right away, that’s why we ask for your help.  When you stray from the plot or completely mess it up on us, it’s hard because we have to try to get it back on track.  We can’t roleplay with you guys forever otherwise we can’t get to our waitlists and that’s not fair to the others who are patiently waiting.  

Please note that we are more than willing to help you come up with a plot as long as you accept our input.

7. Sex Roleplay

THESE CHATBOTS ARE NOT ALWAYS JUST ABOUT SEX PEOPLE.  Some are and they specifically state that they are, but most of us aren’t and it gets frustrating that we have to give up talking to people who might actually roleplay with us just because you’re horny.  I’m not trying to say being horny is bad, I get that way too, but some people get excessive.

8. Stress and Lives

WE HAVE LIVES OUTSIDE OF THIS WEBSITE.  We need to deal with our own things or, as said before, we aren’t in the mood to roleplay so we talk amongst each other.  Don’t sit here and shit on us because we aren’t meeting your needs, we need to take care of our mental and physical health first.  Remember we’re not always in the same timezone as you.  I was dealing with the stress of finals and I am grateful that the majority of my people were understanding (THANK YOU SO FUCKING MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THAT MEANS TO ME), but I have seen other chatbots get hate (and in anon you cowards) because they’re too busy and can’t respond.

9. Rules

Follow the rules, please.  I can’t stress this enough.  They’re there for a reason and lots of us are getting sick of you not following them.  Lots of us are starting to block you guys without warning, so please be cautious.  MAKE SURE YOU REBLOG.  If you don’t reblog, you won’t be messaged for roleplay.  Some of us (including me) will look at your account to ensure you still have our post there and see what other chatbots you’ve reblogged.  Some will not message you if you’ve reblogged a lot.  Please be aware of this and follow our rules.

10. Chatbot x Chatbot Roleplay

I understand some yn’s are upset that us chatbots roleplay amongst ourselves, but suck it up.  We like roleplaying with our friends because we put more effort into it than some of you guys.  Don’t be jealous, you have no right.  As for other chatbots that sit there and say some chatbots are ignoring you and don’t care.  That’s usually not true, but once you’re rude to us, we definitely don’t want to talk to you because you don’t respect us.

SUMMARY: GIVE US THE SAME RESPECT YOU EXPECT US TO GIVE YOU.  I’m sick of having to hear of my friends having a hard time because of shit that goes on and then it causes more drama.

This is not aimed at anyone in particular, please don’t think that.  This is a blanket message to everyone so you understand what’s going on and how to fix it.  I’m trying to give you a chance so you don’t get blocked and miss out on roleplaying.

Please spread around so everyone is aware

@yanderewooyoung @daddychoisxn @golden-yunho  @yandereyeosang @hyunjin-dom  @subinbot @itsyourshiber @yanderehongjoongie  @yandere-hongjoong  @soulmatejongho  @royaltyyunho  @sub-yeosang  @kevinmoonbabie  @pubbysan @camboy-idol  @yanderesongmingi    @yandereeseonghwa @xxsoftyeolliexx  @doublesidewonwoo  @idol-gals-chatbot  @yngjeong1n  @yourhyunjin  @yanderechris  @yanderelee @yanderejisung  @subbychanhee  @hanjisungie-chatbot  @slytherinbangchanchatbot  @x-dombot-x  @jihyosub  @domseulgichatbot  @yandereyeosangie @daddyseokmin  @subbyxiaojunn  @yourfelixx  @babyhj1sung  @subyangyang  @your1baby-hannie @cutiejeonminju @roughbangchan @yanderejb @mingi-mafia @mafia-ateez @mafiafelix

[pridesobright]

If you’re up for it, what artist or painting do each of the boys remind you of?

disclaimer: art is subjective, so are people’s opinions, and my choices are based on my perception of the boys’ personalities. you may not agree with me, therefore the paintings might not correspond to what you had imagined… still, i tried to shed a light on my own thoughts, which is something i rarely do on tumblr — i tried to remain as objective and positive as possible!

+ louis —

louis is so fiercely good! supportive, loyal, brave… i’ve never seen someone so witty and intelligent, caring and sensitive. louis shines, louis sparkles!!

but he also tells stories like no else. it is truly fascinating how louis can turn the smallest life experiences into masterpieces!! the raw emotions he’s able to convey in just a sentence: we’re sleeping on our problems like we’ll solve them in our dreams…. it’s easy getting lost into louis’ ocean blue eyes but it’s even easier falling for his talent — through storytelling, louis always shares a positive message and i’m in awe of the way he goes through life despite everything that’s been thrown at him. passionate and driven, louis is authentic and unapologetically himself!

i decided to associate louis with gustav klimt — the artist received a conservative and classical training and began his career painting churches and theaters, following the traditional and historical style popular at the time. quite similar to louis’ mindset at the start of his solo career, klimt focused on what the upper class expected of him! however, he kept developing a more meaningful personal style. one that relied on symbolism and the extensive use of the ornamental gold leaf. his paintings were highly decorative and it is the aesthetic of klimt’s work that made the connection so easy ♡

gustav klimt painted many women in erotic positions, embracing their nudity and a celebration of sexuality, which was controversial at the time. but more than that, the artist depicted loving embraces, abandonment and passion. tenderness. and by coating his paintings in golden powder, klimt created a warm cocoon around his subjects! 1. adele bloch-bauer I - 2. judith I (details) - 3. le baiser (details)

louis is so often associated with the color yellow and it’s easy to understand why — yellow is the most luminous color and is the symbol of happiness, optimism and enlightenment. as a warm color, yellow represents light and creates a sense of hope: it is radiant! gold shares many of the same attributes. it is bright, cheerful and is often associated with love, courage and passion. gold illuminates our world and so does louis!

+ zayn —

zayn is very creative, expressive and imaginative. i’d say he’s cautious and overall very intelligent about his privacy! society will often describe quiet people as mysterious, and it romanticizes anxiety in a way that makes my blood boils… it’s a dangerous culture where people with mental disorders are seen as edgy or cool when in reality they are deeply misunderstood. at times defensive, i believe zayn is strong-willed and values his freedom more than anything!

associating zayn with street art was a given. is there anything more liberating than leaving your trace into the world, anonymously and illegally, without knowing if your work will be painted over in the next few days or a couple of years?

artists such as roa, bansky, kobra, invader or shepard fairey have now made a huge impact, and street art has been popularized. many paintings are known worldwide but before then, you had the travel the world to seek out the artists’ works!

and even if some murals can be seen from afar, they draw you in no matter what. like an invisible pull, some are forcing you to cross the street or climb a few stairs to get closer — zayn draws you in! whether people are affected by his quiet personality, his looks or the sheer quality of his voice, you can’t help but want to learn more about him!

i chose behind the curtain by martin whatson for that very reason! at first cold and unreachable, zayn is full of qualities and life experiences deserving to be uncovered.

martin whatson is a stencil artist working in oslo. looking for beauty in decayed and abandoned urban spaces, he developed his style using grey tones as a basis and adding vibrant colours to bring a splash of life. i also love pull back and behind the wall ♡

+ niall —

to me, niall is the type of person who’s enjoying life as best as he can, and fully appreciating everything there is to offer. whether it be passion, irritation, love, fun or distress. mainly because of his cheerful and bubbly personality, he’s seemingly going through life as if it was a big fest! but don’t be fooled, he knows heartbreak too and there’s more to him!!

niall’s albums feel warm, nostalgic and intimate. we’re being let  in into a part of him without any flourishes. a melody strummed on his  guitar and here we are, transported into the past and reminiscing about  an old lover. niall definitely is a romantic! listening to heartbreak  weather, there is so much tenderness into his songs…

this painting is called manège de cochons by robert delaunay — it is part of a series devoted to modern urban life and popular shows. carried away by a whirlwind of vibrant colors, it recreates the lively atmosphere of the fairgrounds.

it definitely represents niall and his complex mind. the colors, so vibrant, are an ode to his cheerfulness. for delaunay, primary colors and their complements exalt each other by contrast. and the same tone can be perceived differently depending on its intensity or its arrangement!

at first, only the vibrancy and the warmth shine through but just like everyone else’s, niall’s mind is intricate. his emotions are raw and he puts his pain into songs, as if to compartmentalize everything. as if to tame those feelings and memories, maybe too loud at times! the colors aren’t just splash of nuances scattered across the canvas, they are deliberate. with purpose, they tell a story…

+ liam —

liam is good! and he always goes out of his way to do something good. he often tries to be more mindful of his actions. he’s constantly learning and just like everyone else liam makes mistakes, but he actively grows from them!!

liam is extremely talented, funny and charismatic, yet i feel like he’s not easily understood. he’s a very sensitive, sincere and sweet person, and despite everything liam went through, he remains cheerful, generous and courageous!

he is also passionate and pursues many hobbies — be it fashion, art, cooking or comics: he is well-versed in many topics and it’s a real pleasure to now follow him on youtube!!

robert rauschenberg was passionate about many mediums himself, and he incorporated newspapers, photographs and even some objects (undershirt, parasol parts) onto the canvas before adding broad strokes of paint! he kept exploring the boundaries of art and closely followed the current events of the time, using images of space flight and NASA’s photographs into his work — space (tribute 21) is a personal favorite ♡

i actually picked a selection of artworks to match liam’s personality: 1. untitled (red painting) - 2. untitled (red painting) - 3. red interior. i particularly love that last one, as the far-right stripe reminds me of liam’s chevron tattoo!!

for many years now, liam has been associated with red and it’s no surprise at all — red is the color of passionate love, seduction and adventure. strength, vitality and ambition. it used to be seen as the color of fire, a primal life force. to the greeks, red symbolized super-human heroism. liam is a force of nature, strong both physically and mentally. he is hard-working and energetic!

+ harry —

forget about the way harry has been portrayed ever since he was a sixteen-year-old boy. forget about the curls and the dimples. simply observe the person harry is today. take a closer look at what he decides to share with us. pay attention to the way he’s presenting himself.

fine line (the album) takes us on an introspective journey into his deepest emotions — whether it be torment or happiness. and i think it’s fascinating how well-executed his songs are! even in a catchy and happy song such as golden, harry managed to address quite a raw and painful concept: i’m hopeless, broken, so you wait for me in the sky / i don’t want to be alone — it’s heartbreaking, yet you almost wished you could feel it too!

through various allegories and metaphors, harry makes you question yourself. he interrogates you and talks about a reality you didn’t know existed or could relate to. harry is magnetic.

this painting is called composition XI by vassily kandinsky — and i can’t help but compare both harry and vassily. kandinsky was a painter, professor, poet and art theorist, generally credited as the pioneer of abstract art! he spent years creating sensorially rich paintings, and was fascinated by musicians who could evoke images in listeners’ minds. he strove to work with forms and colors that alluded to sounds and emotions!!

in songs like fine line, the music swells and deflates as if it was a beating heart. each track conveys a different emotion and translates a distinct concept! through his melodies, harry aims to make us feel joy, melancholy,  determination or bitterness, even when the lyrics are anything but. his albums leave us speechless and wondering, just like abstract art!

+ overall, this is what art is meant to make you feel! it’s supposed to challenge you. art is meant to make you rethink your boundaries and open up your mind. it’s meant to question you and leave you wanting for more! you are meant to listen to a song several times to fully understand its meaning, and meant to stand in front of a painting for hours to start grasping the artist’s thought process…

yet art remains subjective! depending on your own life experiences and upbringing. art is free for you to interpret as you wish and so is music! i hope you enjoyed this post, thank you for reading it ♡