#because to do otherwise would be to cut off the discussion prematurely

[robininthelabyrinth]

Tedious Joys 

 - Chapter 1/8 - Ao3 link -

By the time Lao Nie wrote to Lan Qiren under personal cover to ask for his assistance, they hadn’t spoken in nearly seven years.

Oh, they’d spoken – it was rather impossible to avoid speaking, acting sect leader to sect leader. They attended the same discussion conferences, and of course the Lan and Nie sects were close allies, insofar as the Great Sects were anything to each other; their alliance, martial and moral, tended to balance out the riches and clever tricks brought to bear by the Jin and Jiang sects, and of course the Wen sect was large and powerful enough that it didn’t need or want any allies that it couldn’t subject to its dominion. An alliance meant constant contact, checking in, and ideally would call for a good relationship between the leaders of the two sects, which they had once had.

They had once been very close, even.

Lan Qiren had idolized Lao Nie from a young age, admiring his fierceness and his passion for life, his ruthless logic and his practicality and his thoughtful sense of judgment, all the more admirable given that he was from a sect known for being a bunch of hotheads. When Lan Qiren’s older brother – older by nearly ten years, with a middle brother that had died before Lan Qiren’s birth and several miscarriages in between as his parents struggled to provide the sect with the requisite spare – had continuously tried to leave his irritating younger sibling at home when going on night-hunts, Lao Nie had cheerfully interjected himself more than once, volunteering that he would be happy to take him along, and at that point Lan Qiren’s brother, who admired the older man nearly as much as Lan Qiren did, would generally yield, even if he grumbled about it.

Unlike Qingheng-jun, who ought to have been more considerate for his own family, Lao Nie had never minded having to slow down the pace of his hunts in order to accommodate a sickly child, a pedantic one that needed to understand things thoroughly before he was comfortable trying something new. He had often allowed Qingheng-jun to rush ahead and win glory that ought in all fairness to have been his, something Lan Qiren only discovered when he reviewed his history in retrospect.

Lao Nie hadn’t minded how clumsy Lan Qiren was, or how picky he was, refusing to eat even common foods if the texture didn’t appeal to him; he had only laughed at his excessive formality, the harshness of his tone, his tendency to repeat himself or to become caught on little details. He’d indulged him, wasting copious amounts of his time listening to Lan Qiren talk enthusiastically about the Lan sect rules, which he’d fallen in love with at an early age and, when young, rarely missed the chance to bring into any given conversation no matter how irrelevant.

He’d always been very kind to him.

If you had asked Lan Qiren ten years ago, he would have confidently asserted that Lao Nie was one of his dearest friends.

And yet – it had been Lan Qiren, who was short on friends, and not Lao Nie, who had many, that had cut off their relationship. Lan Qiren hadn’t truly spoken to Lao Nie in seven years, limiting their conversations to the subject of sect business and keeping their meetings as short as could be allowed by etiquette, ignoring the way Lao Nie looked at him with sadness and regret in his eyes. Even when Lan Qiren’s anger had finally died down from a raging flame to a simmering anger he suspected would never leave him entirely, he had thought to himself that it was too late, that the fire had burnt everything out, that there were only ashes left behind.

And yet – on the seventh year, apparently apropos of nothing, Lao Nie wrote to him, requesting his presence.

As a friend, he wrote. Come as a friend, or not at all. I have no use for a sect leader.

Lan Qiren struggled with the request, which did not obey any of the unwritten rules he had forced himself to learn on top of the many that were written. He did not know if he was still enough of a friend to Lao Nie to answer such a request.

He did not know himself whether he would go until the moment that he went.

Lao Nie met him at the gateway to the Unclean Realm, relief written in every line of him.

“Thank you,” he said, and Lan Qiren shifted uncomfortably from side to side.

“I didn’t even do anything yet,” he said stiffly, instinctively reaching up to stroke his beard. It was a more acceptable social tic than others that he had been discouraged from employing; losing access to it, however temporarily, had been one of the reasons he had been so upset with Cangse Sanren when she’d shaved it off while he was asleep. She’d tracked him down later to apologize when she’d realized how badly he’d taken it, serious for perhaps the only time he’d known her, and they’d ended up as something almost like friends out of the whole debacle. He hadn’t heard from her in years, either, but that was no breach; it was only that she was busy with her husband and the little child she had once shoved into his arms with that deep, echoing laugh of hers. “Don’t thank me until I’ve determined if I can do anything for you, or will.”

Lao Nie nodded and showed him inside, leading him to his private chambers rather than the sect leader’s study. This suggested that the issue was private, although Lan Qiren supposed he’d already known that, based on the letter.

They sat in silence while Lao Nie personally served the tea, his brow still creased in concern, and Lan Qiren stared at him – too intently, as always – and wondered what private issue could have caused such an upset, and moreover what he could possibly need Lan Qiren for. Lao Nie was a private man, in the custom of his clan and sect; Lan Qiren didn’t know his birthdate or even his age, only the approximates, and many of the details of his life escaped him. It made it difficult to guess what the matter might be, if it were personal and not political.

Although…

“My condolences regarding your second wife,” he said, watching, and Lao Nie jerked his head in a tight nod, acknowledging the loss. Lao Nie’s first wife had been a mysterious figure, appearing and disappearing as suddenly as an unexpected burst of rain on a sunny day – the stories in Qinghe enthusiastically claimed she was a goddess that descended from the heavens to dally with moral race, who’d ended up marrying Lao Nie to legitimize the child he’d unexpectedly planted in her belly, only to be summoned back to the heavens on important duties, although of course it was commonly understood that she was more than likely just some powerful rogue cultivator who had decided after a short interval that being married was not for her. Lan Qiren had never met her, although he had had the fortune to meet Lao Nie’s second wife, who had been much more down-to-earth, an innkeeper’s daughter.

(Lan Qiren had rather liked her the few times they’d met. She was a little self-absorbed, in a harmless sort of way. She liked beautiful things and good food and talking about them, and was happy to carry on entire conversations while he responded only with nods and grunts; to his relief, she had never expected anything more from him. She was very beautiful herself, both delicate and seductive with her fox’s face and long and narrow eyes; some cruel people spread rumors that she was a demon or a yao in disguise, sent to wreak havoc through the seduction of men. She had never tried anything like that on Lan Qiren, unless her attempt at seduction consistent of sharing a plate of snacks and occupying him enough to prevent him from having to listen to the more boring parts of the social parts of certain discussion conference meetings. At any rate, he’d been truly saddened to hear that she had died.)

Still, Lao Nie had not yet begun to speak.

That meant that the problem was not in relation to that aspect of his life, which in all honesty was a relief. Lan Qiren could not imagine a world in which Lao Nie confided his marital problems in a prematurely old bachelor like him.

Perhaps…

“Your sons?” he asked, and this time Lao Nie flinched, so he’d guessed right. “Ah. The younger one?”

The younger one would be about A-Zhan’s age, surely, or even younger. Little more than a toddler, not yet quite old enough to be taken away from the mother – or nurse, in the case of Lao Nie’s second son – and they were so terribly fragile at that age…

“No,” Lao Nie said, and sighed, a long exhale. “Forgive me, it’s a difficult subject. A-Sang is fine. The issue is with A-Jue.”

Nie Mingjue would now be around eight or nine years old, Lan Qiren thought, or perhaps even older – it was so hard to tell with these secretive Nie, and he only knew enough to make the guess at all because of their former friendship. Most sects were only vaguely aware that there were heirs to the Nie sect, and had certainly never seen hide nor hair of Nie Mingjue, during discussion conferences or otherwise.

He’d been a toddler the last time Lan Qiren had seen him, young and energetic, running around anywhere, but he had something of his father’s kindness – he’d actually listened to Lan Qiren telling him about rules that didn’t apply to him, and even proudly repeated some of them back to his father, much to Lan Qiren’s embarrassment – without having yet grown into his father’s occasional callous ruthlessness.

Perhaps it made a certain amount of sense that Lao Nie would ask for help with his children. Since his life plans had been irrevocably altered, Lan Qiren had taken over teaching at the Cloud Recesses, and to his surprise, was apparently making something of a name for himself.

It hadn’t been intentional: he’d been desperate for something to do with himself that wasn’t just for the sect, so much of his time consumed by the business of sect leadership, and he’d always planned to become a teacher eventually, although he’d always assumed it would be much later in life. He’d volunteered to teach, only to look at the small handful of obedient, well-trained Lan sect disciples that he would be in charge of instructing and quickly realized that such ‘teaching’ wouldn’t occupy his time at all.

Accordingly, he had demanded that the sect elders allow him to accept disciples from other sects as well. The request was highly irregular, but strictly abided by all Lan sect rules on the subject – it was Lan Qiren putting together the proposal, after all – and the elders had granted it with surprisingly little debate. To this day, Lan Qiren wasn’t sure if it was pity for his circumstances or simply an assumption that no outside students would bother attending, but he would not let the approval, once granted, be so easily retracted: he had sent out letters asking for students at once, and to everyone’s surprise but his own they actually came.

(He’d been clever about it, at the start. He’d reached out first to those smaller sects that would not have access to resources even a quarter as good as the Cloud Recesses, asking specifically for those children that seemed troublesome – the ones it took time and attention to teach, the ones who didn’t seem to be getting what they were supposed to learn. The slow, the stupid, the angry, the ones who disappointed their parents most of all. Lan Qiren might not have answers for those children, but at least he could give them his time and attention and he found, for most of them, that was all they wanted.)

Recently, though, they’d started getting more requests to join from the slightly larger subsidiary sects, more people, even murmurs about sending him their sect heirs rather than their burdens – people were saying that his teaching could make a gentleman even out of a waste, which Lan Qiren didn’t really understand. After all, putting aside a few students that were too arrogant to be willing to learn anything, he hadn’t encountered a single one he’d characterize as a waste.

“How can I help A-Jue?” he asked, expecting Lao Nie to finally give in and explain.

But Lao Nie shook his head.

“There’s some background I need to tell you first,” he said. “Without which the problem won’t make much sense. You have one of the finest analytical minds I’ve ever met, Qiren, and a way of thinking that doesn’t match up to conventional wisdom – I’m hoping you can help me where expertise has failed.”

Lan Qiren frowned, embarrassed. “I can try,” he said, already mentally rearranging his plans to account for a longer stay. He disliked sudden changes and had planned out three possible lengths of time for his visit – one short, one medium, one long – so that he would be able to select whichever one would be most appropriate. He hoped that the issue would not require any more time than the longest period he had allotted. “What is the subject?”

“Saber,” Lao Nie said, and smiled at Lan Qiren’s confusion. “My sect’s cultivation style. Let me explain…”

Lao Nie’s explanation was fascinating.

The cultivation style of the Nie sect – and the Nie clan in particular, especially the main branch – was unlike anything Lan Qiren had ever heard before, completely different in both substance and philosophy. It was a rough trade, a difficult road, heartbreaking in its sacrifice, impressive in its results…

It wasn’t the road for everybody, but one couldn’t help but admire those that walked it.

“Doesn’t it get close to demonic cultivation, using resentful energy like that?” he asked at one point, and Lao Nie had explained to him how they had drawn the distinction – using beasts, never humans, and channeling the worst of the effects into their sabers rather than themselves. How much they strived to cultivate morality into their sabers as well as power.

Lan Qiren thought that it was a fine line, but after some thought concluded that they fell on the right side of it, if just barely. The primary dangers of demonic cultivation were in the way it increased the amount of evil in the world, whether through the inevitable madness and violent rampages of its wielders or through the simple side effects of using other people’s corpses as your playthings, increasing their own resentment, breaking the hearts of their loved ones, and causing their ancestors to curse you; that sort of vile conduct was an offense to the Heavens. The Nie sect’s cultivation avoided that, and if through their sabers they added a little bit of evil to the world then it could not be denied that they took much, much more of it out.

“I think I understand now,” he said, brushing his fingers along his beard. “But…why tell me? Isn’t it one of your clan secrets?”

“It is,” Lao Nie agreed. “As a general principle, we do not tell outsiders unless we must.”

The Nie sect preferred principles over rules, which Lan Qiren begrudgingly accepted even if he himself preferred having rules, clear and precise and equal even if they sometimes weren’t quite fair. But situation-dependent or not, the Nie held to those principles just as tightly as any Lan did to their sect rules, and that was worthy of respect.

“So you felt that you must,” Lan Qiren observed. “But why? And what does it have to do with A-Jue? Is he not taking to your sect’s teachings…?”

“I would almost prefer that,” Lao Nie said, and rubbed his eyes. “We’ve always had those that didn’t follow our ways – those that refused to train the saber, or refused to cultivate a spirit despite all their training. No. It’s actually…A-Jue’s very good.”

Lan Qiren had been a teacher for seven years. He was accustomed to parents who needed to praise their child before getting to the point, though he wouldn’t have expected it of Lao Nie. He waited.

“He’s too good,” Lao Nie said, and abruptly covered his face with his hands. “He’s already cultivated a spirit in Baxia.”

Lan Qiren’s whole body jerked. “Lao Nie!” he exclaimed. “You’ve already given him a saber? He’s too young!”

Under the age of ten, Nie Mingjue should still be building his strength, shaping the muscles that would serve him in the future; he should be wielding only a practice saber made of wood, heavy and slow as he etched the forms of his sect style into his bones. Even if he was a true prodigy, a once-in-a-generation genius, he should at most bear a weapon of dulled steel, and never an actual spiritual weapon, much less the one that would be the companion of his future life.

“He took it himself,” Lao Nie said. “A little over a year ago – we had a surprise attack, right in the middle of the summer hunts. Supposedly bandits, but actually mercenaries, supported by traitors from the inside; they had a map to lead them straight inside our home, and attacked at the moment when most of us were gone. When everyone else ran for cover, A-Jue went to the armory and picked up a saber, freshly forged, and he took his first blood the same day. What was I supposed to do? Take it away from him?”

Lan Qiren felt a stab of sympathy for Lao Nie’s impossible dilemma.

Taking the saber away just when A-Jue had started bonding with it, right after he’d shed blood with it for the first time – yes, that would have been far worse. It might have crippled his confidence, introduced hesitation that would damage his cultivation forever, hinder his future growth…

“And he already developed a saber spirit?” he said instead. “Within a year?”

That wasn’t genius. That was insane.

“I know,” Lao Nie said. “The faster we cultivate, the sooner we die, but how am I supposed to say that to a child? And there’s how fast he’s picked up our cultivation style, how fast he’s going – what if he introduces some flaw into it and it sinks in before anyone notices? Even a minor disruption to his qi, at this age –”

Lan Qiren scowled. “Stop panicking,” he ordered. “That won’t help anyone at all, least of all him.”

Unexpectedly, Lao Nie smiled at him, although the smile was full of regret.

“It’s easy to say and hard to do,” he said. “Don’t you know I always lose my head when it comes to love?”

Lan Qiren knew.

Lao Nie had always been reckless in matters of the heart, as seen by his decision to marry some stranger for his first wife and a nobody for his second, and to thereafter refuse a third, more sensible arrangement with some sect leader’s daughter or sister that could care for the children as a mother while acting as a useful political tool, even if no other children were forthcoming. Even though his life had been beset with later tragedy, he had been happy with his wives – happy and in love, and unwilling to trade a single moment with them for anything.

Lan Qiren knew this. He even understood it.

He just had trouble excusing it.

Lao Nie had been friend to Lan Qiren’s brother long before he’d been friend to him, and so when Qingheng-jun had fallen in love in that sudden, shocking, irrevocable manner that the Lan sect had, Lao Nie had been the first to support him in it, delighted to think that his friend would find the same happiness he had himself found. He’d encouraged him not to be shy in presenting his courtship, in presenting himself as a possible match; he’d reassured him that some disinterest to begin with was reasonable, given that they were still strangers, and advised him to enjoy the feeling of falling in love, to be reckless and bold and daring with it…and he did it all in writing, from a distance.  

Lao Nie had been occupied at the time with issues in his own sect – probably the scandals relating to his first wife, in retrospect, though of course he said nothing of it back then – and had unwisely trusted in Qingheng-jun’s description of the events, rather than seeing the circumstances for himself.  It was understandable that he would not comprehend how fiercely his friend’s heart had been gripped by love, or how truly disinterested He Kexin was in her ardent suitor, not when Qingheng-jun described her resistance as mere coquetry. It was impossible for Lao Nie to have predicted that his well-meant advice that love was worth anything, even defiance of sect rules and the counsels of the elders, would be interpreted in such a terrible way.

Still less, of course, could he have predicted what happened next, the tragedy of He Kexin and the friend that deceived her, that tried to use her and Qingheng-jun through her through false rumors and twisted stories, and in so doing underestimated how unbridled He Kexin could be when pressed. It was all part and parcel of the same underlying calamity: if Qingheng-jun had not been so persistent in his courtship, He Kexin wouldn’t have had such a bad impression of the Lan sect; if she hadn’t had such a bad impression of the Lan sect, she might not have been so ready to believe her friend’s lies about their teacher’s conduct, to allow herself to be indirectly used to manipulate Qingheng-jun’s love-madness to the advantage of another sect; if He Kexin had been a little less arrogant or a little less blindly trusting or had bothered to ask a single question before taking upon herself the duty of executioner as well as judge, if she’d only held back her sword and not gone so far as to kill a man over baseless rumor – if only – if only – if, if, if –

If Qingheng-jun had not decided that his love mattered more to him than his sect.

There was no way Lao Nie could have known what would happen.

It was understandable.

One might even say that it was forgivable, except Lan Qiren had not yet gotten around to forgiving him.

Lan Qiren had dreamed of travel, not teaching; he’d wanted to play music in all the forgotten places, to learn all the things that could not be simply deduced from inside the safety of the Cloud Recesses. He’d wanted to help people, to use that vast store of knowledge that seemed irrevocably stuck in his brain to solve problems and suggest solutions. But the Lan sect needed a leader, and with Qingheng-jun in permanent seclusion, disinterested in sect matters, choosing instead to obsess endlessly over his broken heart…

The duty had fallen to Lan Qiren instead.

(He Kexin had eventually grown rather fond of her husband, even if love wasn’t the word for it. Lan Qiren didn’t know if she was simply salvaging what she could out of an unsalvageable situation or if she just enjoyed the exercise, but he had two nephews now, to raise as if they were his own. Because that was just what he needed, another chain binding him to his home, another duty that shouldn’t have been his – he loved his nephews more than anything, so he couldn’t be angry at them, couldn’t blame them for being born, and so he had to be angry at everyone else instead.)

Lan Qiren lowered his head and pursed his lips. He knew Lao Nie wanted his forgiveness. He even knew, according to the sect rules he valued so highly, that he should grant it. Seven years was surely long enough to pay for any innocent mistake, wasn’t it?

Come as a friend, or not at all.

That was the invitation Lao Nie had extended, and Lan Qiren had come. That was very nearly a decision, if he wanted it to be.

“Let me see him,” Lan Qiren proposed, and Lao Nie’s smile warmed at once.

[shipcestuous]

With Christmastide near to hand, it seems an appropriate moment to discuss A Christmas Carol. Having recently reread it, I was struck by the importance of Ebenezer's relationship with his sister Fan. She was one of the few bright spots in his otherwise thoroughly miserable childhood, and her premature death was a significant step in his embitterment against the world. More interesting, though, is the parallel between Ebenezer and his parents, on the one hand, and Fred, Fan, and Ebenezer, on the other. Ebenezer's father, of course, resented, abused, and partially abandoned him because he was a reminder of his wife's, Ebenezer's mother's, death, and it was only through Fan's intercession on Ebenezer's behalf that Ebenezer was not cut off entirely. Ebenezer similarly neglected his relationship with his nephew, Fred, because Fred was a reminder of Fan's death. Scrooge and his sister thus recapitulate the roles of a married couple. Part of Scrooge's journey is realising that he ought instead to have cherished Fred for his sister's sake, rather than ignored him in order to avoid his own pain over Fan's death. And I would call attention to the lines, 'It's true. Fan really loved me, and I her. How I wish she could be here today', and, 'I see the shadow of my sister's face in yours, Fred. I loved your mother, but for a time I forgot how much. Perhaps I chose to forget. I am sorry'. I'd say that's just about enough water to float a ship; wouldn't you?

What glorious commentary! And it's so appropriate that it's going to be posted on Christmas Eve.

For the longest time, the versions of A Christmas Carol that I was familiar with were the ones that didn't have Fanny in them, like A Muppet Christmas Carol and the one with Jim Carrey. I had never read the book. And then I saw the version with Patrick Stewart, and it was my first exposure to Fanny. And I was struck too, by the importance in that relationship. And of course I shipped it, because why wouldn't I, but there's good reason!

Most of the versions I have seen recently do have Fanny in them, so I'm happy to say she's not being sidelined as much anymore.

I have a small tag for Fanny/Ebenezer.

I love so much what you said about Ebenezer losing Fanny parallels what happened with his own father and mother. I had never noticed that but now it's clear as day.

Ebenezer's connection with Fred is one of my favorite parts of that story. Fred is such a wonderful person, and he became like Fanny even though she died when he was young. He reaches out to Ebenezer even as Ebenezer rejects him, just like Fanny would have wanted him to do, almost like it's Fanny doing it herself through him.

[khaotic-kitsunes]

Melted Hearts

Yet another favourite from my collection~ Here’s hoping everyone enjoys!

Cheeky Kitsune 🦊💋

 “Yes, that’s what I said. Three days. Are you saying you can’t even handle tha-”

   “Tamaki?” You yawned as you stumbled your way into the small study he used as an office when he didn’t feel like going into work; all in all, a fairly unused room. It was strange to see him in it, especially when it was six in the morning.

 His head snapped towards you the moment your voice spilled past your lips, one hand moving up to cover the bottom of the phone while he flashed a nervous smile at you, the very same smile that had you falling for him when you first met.

 You found it strange how a man in such a powerful position could still be so shy and awkward towards you on a daily basis, but you also didn’t care enough to mention it, fearful that the tender smiles might stop entirely.

 “Did I wake you? I’m sorry bunny…I just have to make a few calls, I’ll be done soon” You nodded in response to his words, making your way over to him until you were faceplanting his chest, arms snaking around his waist so that you could steal the warmth he had taken with him when he left the bed just minutes ago.

 “You’re not going back to bed?” He tried his best not to chuckle as he watched you shake your head childishly, your grip on his loosely hanging shirt tightening until he moved a hand to the small of your back; pulling you just a little bit closer.

   “Three days. Handle it, I’m not discussing this anymore.”

   You shuddered at the firm tone his voice carried, a small smile tugging at your lips while you peeked up at him; eyes wide and awake now that you had gotten up in search for your long-term boyfriend.

 “Bunny, I’ve decided something” He paused, putting the phone down before moving his now free hand to your cheek, stroking it tenderly with a fondness in his dark eyes that you absolutely adored. Emotions he reserved for you and you alone.

 “Mm?” His lips stretched into an amused grin at your hum of curiosity, moments before he leaned down to steal your lips in a slow and sensual kiss, your eager reciprocation making him groan deeply.

   “I’m taking some time off, for the next three days, I’m yours and you, my beautiful little bunny, are mine.”

   ~  ~  ~

   “Open.”

   Your lips parted at his command, eyes glued to Tamaki’s own dark, love-filled gaze, your cheeks burning with embarrassment; you knew it was nothing to be embarrassed about, not after all this time with him.

 But it was so hard to get used to the idea of him feeding you the meals he had cooked especially for you; after all, not everyone could brag about having a mafia boss cook for them and spoil them rotten.

 “How is it?” He pulled the fork away while you chewed on the new dish slowly, the hot food practically melting in your mouth, filling it with a sweet taste you couldn’t possibly hope to describe. It was simply magical.

 “Delicious, just like everything you make me” He rolled his eyes at your words, turning his back to stir the food he had so generously allowed you to sample, a quiet snicker reaching your ears.

 “You know, I might think you’re humouring my cooking if you always say it’s delicious” He glanced back at you as you frowned, crossing your arms at the very thought of humouring his delicious food; you weren’t in the habit of lying to him and you most certainly wouldn’t start now.

 “Excuse you, I would not humour you, Tamaki. I say it’s delicious because it’s delicious! Not for any other reason” He turned his head as you spoke, quiet laughter spilling free while his shoulders shook from his efforts to hold it back; apparently your reaction amused him, though personally, you didn’t quite see what was so funny about it.

 You were being completely serious.

   “Tamaki…”

   “I know, I know…it’s okay” He turned to face you, reaching out to pat your head gently, a tender smile on his lips, showing that he understood your intentions.

 “I was only teasing bunny, but that was pretty cute” He brushed his lips against your forehead before stepping back to the stove, his attention now glued to the food that required it; though you didn’t mind. You were more than satisfied that he got the idea, Tamaki was always good like that, actually listening to the words that left your mouth and understanding what you meant.

 “…You tease me too much sometimes…”

   “I tease you just enough, you always want more, don’t you?”

   “…Shut up…” He laughed at your quiet response, shaking his head while busying himself with the food that threatened to burn if his attention faltered too much; sometimes it felt like he knew you too well, other times, well that was harder to express. Tamaki himself was near impossible to keep track of, his moods and the way he expressed himself were impossible to keep complete track of.

   “I love you too bunny…”

    ~  ~ ~  ~  ~

    “Are you really gonna propose to her boss?”

   Tamaki smiled down at the small ring box in his hand, still fiddling with it nervously, flipping the lid open and closed again, over and over; his nerves eating away at him from the inside out.

 “Yes…it’s long overdue and keeping her out of the business is no longer possible. Marrying her will work for many reasons…” He trailed off with a sigh, glancing towards the window in the small study, watching the rain as it hit against the glass and slowly made it’s way down the smooth surface. Oddly calming.

   “Everything here is running smoothly, just like you asked. Still have a day to do it”

   “I would rather do it now but she’s gone out for a bit, I’ll call back when I have her answer. Make sure to have someone ready with the things I asked for if she says yes, I don’t want to act prematurely, just in case…” He chuckled at his own doubts, going stiff the moment he heard your gentle voice call out through the otherwise empty house, alerting him that the nerves in his stomach would soon be settled; with either joy or heartbreak.

 “I have to go. Remember what you need to do.” He hung up a second later, stuffing the ring box into his pocket while throwing the phone down to the table without much care, instead, more focused on making his way through the house to greet you and take the shopping bags from you. Ignoring all complaints.

   “What were you doing back there?”

   “Nothing bunny, I just had to find something…you bought a lot today, have something big planned?” He smiled back at you to distract you from any thoughts of what he had been up to, making his way through to the kitchen while you trailed behind him slowly, a wide smile stretching across your plump lips.

 “Yes! I wasn’t expecting it last night, so there was only something plain for dinner but tonight, I’m making your favourite! Since you’re not home for dinner much, I thought it would be a nice change” You paused, tilting your head to the side while watching Tamaki empty out the bags on the kitchen bench, his attention split between listening to you and putting away the food.

 “…Are you okay Tamaki? You seem nervous”

   “Mm, I’m just trying to work something out”

   He moved in front of you before you could pry any further, his hands closing around yours, pressing a small yet strange object into your hands, the action making your eyes drop down to try and peek at whatever he wanted to give you.

 “Uh…Tamaki…?” You trailed off slowly while he knelt down in front of you, still holding onto your hands tightly, his own hands shaking uncharacteristically.

   “…Please open it…”

   Your brow furrowed once he removed his hands from your own, leaving behind a small box for you to open, a deep purple in colour; no clue as to what was inside until the moment you opened it.

 A beautifully simple ring laying inside of it, silver with beautifully coloured amethysts worked into the design, intricate butterflies that both you and your boyfriend loved decorating what could only be an engagement ring.

   “Bunny, say something…please…wait, are you crying? Why are you cr-”

   You cut him off before he could work himself up too much, tackling him down to the ground in a tight hug, tears rolling down your cheeks as your mind struggled to properly process exactly what this meant for the two of you.

   “YES!”

[veiledpeaches]

chance encounters | epilogue: this is what distance does

Summary: Between pages of meddling friends and societal expectations, all she actually wants is to find a happily ever after with Doyoung, even if it feels like that is no longer possible. 

part i x part ii x part iii x part iv x part v x part vi

word count: 3.3k

i would say this is more of an epilogue than a final chapter, ‘cause if the ending wasn’t clear in the last chapter - this should do the job. 

GIF originally posted by @lukhei​

In a universe where love is a form of currency, Doyoung believes that the Johnny’s of the world will always win.

Even back in university, when they discussed their stock market ventures, he has always noticed Johnny’s indifference towards sunk costs, detailed analysis of opportunity cost at every stage of the investment and decisiveness when it comes to exercising call options. Johnny always believed in win-win situations, so he would never get himself caught up in toxic and mutually detrimental situations.

The same could be said about his relationships. With the number of relationships he has walked away from, he knows that Johnny thinks he isn’t able to make anyone stay, that he’s going to take a while to settle down, but Doyoung knows otherwise. It takes another form of self-preserving courage to walk away from a relationship that no longer serves your growth, to cut your losses and learn to transfer the investment of your feelings in the search for a more suitable person.

While Doyoung has always been firm in his career choices, he hadn’t been able to replicate the same decisiveness in his relationships.

Everyone around him thinks he knew about the affair four months before he had broken things off with her, but Doyoung knows better. It had been close to a year before the wedding date, that he had received an anonymous email, presumably from Inhee’s co-worker, that she was cheating on him. And as the image of his girlfriend on another man’s lap had loaded pixel by pixel, when he had his fist clenched so hard that his knuckles turned white, when his blunt nails had dug into his skin and the hand on his mouse started to tremble, Doyoung had vowed, albeit in brief, revenge for such an affront to his ego.

But on the drive home, once he had calmed down, what struck Doyoung most wasn’t the hurt that he should have felt because of a lost love, but the betrayal of trust, as if that was all his relationship with Inhee had been about - the mutual trust and respect for each other.

That night, when he had returned home to a smiling girlfriend, when she had straddled him and pulled his shirt over his arms after dessert, Doyoung had silently uttered an apology to Inhee, looking at her with the same gaze she had mistaken for desire. An apology because of his cowardice and his selfishness. An apology because, even though it could set both of them free of this convenient relationship, a break-up wasn’t in the cards for him.

Maybe love wasn’t for him, he had mused the next morning. He had spent the last two years of high school studying for entrance exams, the whole of university in search for a suitable career path; a relationship had just been something he picked up along the way. But then as he looked up that morning, watching a familiar figure cursing under her breath as she almost spilled his coffee, looking back down and pretending to focus on his work while his heart had beat faster listening to her make her way over to him, Doyoung realized it had always been about finding the right person.

And Haewon, with the lightness she had about her, the curious lilt in her voice, the endearing way her eyes lit up when someone recommended a restaurant to her, her relentlessness in pursuing the things she believed in - these were just some of the things about her that brought a smile to Doyoung’s face everyday.

So now, as he flies halfway across the world to a city he’s never set foot in, Doyoung just hopes there’s still a space left for him in Haewon’s life.

The international airport he finds himself in isn’t as big as Incheon airport, but it’s still a bigger crowd than Doyoung had anticipated. He’s flipping through the texts in his phone since he has landed, in search for any of Johnny’s texts that indicated where to get a cab after he has left the arrival hall, and almost doesn’t feel it when there’s a tap on his shoulder.

He swings around, fully expecting to tell the person that he’s new to the airport too, and that he wouldn’t be able to deliver directions in English, when he meets eyes with the person he’s wanted to see for a year now.

Haewon’s hair is lighter than it was a year ago, thrown back in a messy bun held by a pencil, and she has the biggest grin on her face when he turns around. Her face is almost devoid of any make-up, and there are tiny crinkles at the corner of her eyes as she smiles now, but she looks beatific. Doyoung finds himself smiling too, as the people traipsing around and about them seem to slow down and blur out. His eyes are so warm from smiling so wide, and his chest feels so tight from looking at her like this, but he feels like he’s in the right place now.

“How did you know?” His voice comes out tighter than usual.

Haewon rolls her eyes endearingly. “Johnny texted me this morning - it took me a few minutes to realize he wasn’t on the plane. I could only guess it would be you.”

“Well,” he chuckles, “I hope you like your surprise.”

She looks at him for a moment, her eyes pearly and twinkling, and her smile falls slightly.

“I thought you might get lost,” she says, the corners of her lips rising again, “I know you hate crowds, just like me.”

Doyoung can’t fight the feeling of breathlessness that follows.

Once Doyoung has loaded his luggage into the trunk of her big silver Ford, it’s just default routine behavior that leads him to the driver’s seat, but a raised eyebrow from Haewon reminds him of where he is.

“You don’t even know the roads here, boss,” she tilts her head to gesture him to the passenger seat as she drops his messenger bag in the backseat.

Doyoung climbs into her car albeit reluctantly, “Johnny says you suck at driving though.”

Haewon whistles at the dig. “Johnny’s always speeding, does he really get to say that?”

(“I kissed Haewon before she left,” Johnny had confessed just a couple of months ago. “I had a crush on her for a while and I kissed her.”

Doyoung had found himself riveted in his seat, unable to say anything or even make a sound. That something could have transpired between Johnny and Haewon wasn’t something he could have anticipated or even imagined. He tries to fight the twinge of jealousy arising from the pits of his stomach, and then wonders if that’s what Johnny has had to experience all this time.

“She rejected me though, so you don’t have to worry about that.”

“That’s between you and Haewon,” Doyoung tries, uncertain if the words are said for Johnny’s sake or for his own, “why are you telling me—”

“Of course I have to,” Johnny turns to him with a smile, and Doyoung isn’t sure if the redness of Johnny’s cheeks is because of the cold, the beer or the memory.

“Only you would be dumb enough to think that she could’ve forgotten about you after a year.”)

“-But I stayed ‘cause I wanted to experience Providence in the summer - I’ve heard that it’s really different and I have to agree, there’s a lot more happening… Are you listening to me, boss?”

Doyoung turns to look at her somewhat dazedly, his eyes grazing over the pencil in her hair and how her sunglasses perches on her head, her sun-kissed cheeks, the intent of her gaze on the road. Then he realizes they’ve been on the road for five minutes and haven’t discussed the living situation at all.

“I booked a hotel just in case—”

“Nonsense,” she interrupts quickly, “you’re staying with me. I’ve a spare room, Johnny stays there when he comes anyway.”

“Well, I didn’t want to assume anything.”

Haewon frowns and signals left, and when she turns to reply she finds Doyoung’s eyes on her. They exchange a lingering look, too loaded with potential meaning to begin to interpret. Then she looks down and laughs, a little too brightly than what should be considered appropriate for their situation, especially given the bite of the words that had been exchanged at their last meeting.

“It’s not like you’re here to visit anyone else, why would you stay anywhere else?”

Doyoung finds something hot and heavy slash across his chest - he isn’t sure if she is intentionally being facetious or just trying to stave off the impending heavy conversation. Save for their short-lived moment at the airport, the conversations they’ve had since they walked towards her car have been surface-scratching.

“Ha, no, you’re right,” he hears himself saying, and feels more than sees Haewon’s turn towards him, and he knows she’s still wondering what exactly had precipitated this sudden acquiescence.

Perhaps it’s premature to discuss the lines that run deeper between them, Doyoung tells himself. After all, he did show up without a warning, and Haewon has never been good with surprises. But even amidst the chaos in his brain, there’s a thought that he can’t shake off, rattling in his head like an old screen door:

Because it is only then that something dawns on Doyoung - something he probably blanked out of his system and disregarded as an insecurity - that in the time Doyoung took to decide on his next move, Haewon could have changed her mind.

Thankfully, the conversation on the rest of the road - and even as they take the lift to her apartment - is free of hiccups. He tries to slip in the idea that this trip to visit her is to segue into a work trip he has to make to the New York headquarters,  to hopefully dispel any pressure she might be feeling upon his arrival. And it works - the conversation does become more casual. Doyoung learns that in the short span of a year, Haewon, expectedly, is doing well enough in her classes, has become more of a coffee addict than him, and has actually written a short story that earned the interest of local publishers. On the other end, Haewon learns that Doyoung has finally taken time off work and spent it with his family, and that his brother is getting married in the fall. She’s also really excited to hear that he’s painting again.

“That’s incredible, boss,” her smile is soft and genuine, “I’m so proud of you.”

Doyoung can’t stop the smile forming on his face, so he nods embarrassedly and looks away, turning his attention to her apartment around him, taking in his minimalist surroundings and the sleek modern furniture that greets him. On the left, there’s the closed door of what is presumably her bedroom, and on his right, a small study room with a clean but disorganized wooden desk, and he can make out the end of what he thinks is a blue sofa bed.

He wonders if there has been another man in her apartment before. It’s not out of jealousy, he tells himself, it’s not like I’m her boyfriend. It’s just… curiosity.

“Your walls are bare,” he comments offhandedly, and hears a chuckle escape her lips as she walks to his side.

“That’s the first thing you notice? I thought you’d definitely say something about my desk.”

“Well as it is, you’re markedly less organized than I’d thought.”

She makes a face. “Isn’t the lack of organization befitting of the starving artist trope?”

“Look at this place - you’re hardly starving.”

She bursts into a tiny fit of laughter, shrugging off her cropped denim jacket to reveal a casual burnt orange maxi dress.

“Fine, enough about my apartment. I know you’re a little jet lagged, but I made a reservation at this—”

And even though he feels the question rising in his chest, he doesn’t know what prompts him to say it, and when he does his voice has automatically lowered into a gentle timbre,

“Did you read the book I gave you?”

It’s a question he’s wanted to ask for a year now, when she’d texted him a simple ‘thank you for the book’ once she’d landed. The answer he’s waited for with bated breath, but by the look of her face right now, he feels like he shouldn’t have said anything at all.

He hears Haewon swallow abruptly, and then she’s removing the pencil holding her bun, her hair cascading over her shoulders.

She drops the pencil on the table next to her, and Doyoung is still waiting.

“I did.”

Her answer is as clear as day, but it isn’t a happy answer that greets Doyoung. Instead, in the aftermath of those two words, Doyoung isn’t sure how to continue.

“So you saw…”

“I did.”

“And when you texted me to say thanks, you knew—”

“I did,” Haewon lapses into a refrain she finds frustrating herself, but there is a form of resolution and collection in her voice, and her chin is lifted a little, as if daring him to say something, anything else.

They are rooted to where they stand for a long time, their eyes speaking the words their mouths are unable to say. Then Doyoung hears a buzz, and he thinks he’s imagined it, until the buzzing doesn’t stop and Haewon regretfully tears her eyes away from his and reaches for her phone on the table. She walks into her room as she picks up her phone, and Doyoung carries his luggage into the study, presumably where he would sleep for the rest of the trip.

His heart drums loudly in his ears as he thinks of the way her eyes had looked when he'd asked her about the book, and all he really wants to do is to pick that memory up and bury it deep in his chest, because only there would it not seem real.

He’s so deep in thought, he almost doesn’t see the images playing as a screensaver on her desktop, until there’s a photo that flits into the center of the screen, and his lungs are robbed of his breath.

It’s definitely developed from a film camera, the background dark and blur and almost Polaroid-like, undeniably taken on the night before she left.

They aren’t smiling to the camera in this photo, Haewon’s mouth is slightly open and she looks as if she's about to say something to the person behind the camera. Her hair is still dark, still straight, and she looks exhausted.

Right next to her is Doyoung himself, his arm around her shoulder and a glass of white wine in the same hand. He isn’t smiling, but he might as well be, looking at her with the softest expression he didn’t know his face could form.

So this is how he looks like when he looks at her, he thinks. He looks… happy.

Does she see it?

Then the image shrinks back into another one, which fades into another one, but Doyoung only looks up from the desktop when there’s a cough at the door.

“Hey,” Haewon’s smile doesn’t reach her eyes, but she tries to shrug it off as she drops her wallet into her bag, “we should go. I need to pick up something—”

“You’ve been calling me ‘boss’.”

“What?” Haewon looks up from her bag to meet Doyoung’s eyes, and watches as he gets up from his crouched position on the floor. The warmth of the late afternoon summer sun filters through the window of her study, but even as Doyoung gets up she can feel the sun against her, casting its golden hour rays onto the both of them and peeking from behind his shoulder.

“From the airport and then all the way here, you kept calling me ‘boss’, even though you are no longer working for me,” Doyoung says, his voice measured and low. “Is that what’s left of us?”

The smile on his face is tight, and as she tries her best to ignore the glare of the sun, Haewon can’t stop herself from asking the next question.

“Why’re you here, Doyoung?”

The diminishing glare of the sun still feels too bright for her, and Haewon finds herself dropping her gaze onto the neighbour’s balcony opposite the study.

“Why’re you really here, honestly?”

His smile falters, but it feels like he has lifted something off his chest when he says, “do you remember when you told me you didn’t want to like me?”

“That was a year ago…” And now her voice is cracking, loud and shaky, rising up into the huge space above them, “you still remember that?”

Doyoung still feels too far away.

“Have things changed?”

Haewon falls silent, choosing to focus her gaze on a pot of sunflower in her neighbour’s balcony instead. She’s wrestling with her feelings, desperately trying to keep the very potent – and yet very tenuous - glimmer of hope (that she doesn’t want to admit still exists) from being unearthed again.

“Because I hope they haven’t. And not just that, I want you to be okay with liking me. So then maybe…” he bites his lip, taking one step towards her, “it’ll be okay for me to like you too.”

“Doyoung…” And suddenly all she can see is Doyoung, as his eyes sparkle with a desire that has been displaced for too long.

“I should never have let you say those words. I should have told you how much you make me feel, how in love I am with you, how I never want to lose you, the night before you left. But I couldn’t, I just kept thinking… I’ve missed my chance, and now I can’t stop her from leaving.

“I used to think that what Johnny was always expounding – the concept of ‘the one’ – was just over-glorified. That soulmates were a myth, there are only people who are more compatible for each other. And I still don’t know if that’s true, but from the moment I met you, there has been an insistence in me that was never really there before.”

Haewon can feel her face contort, and she doesn’t stop the tears from falling this time.

“You knew that if you had asked me to stay, I would’ve-”

“I know, I know.” Doyoung’s hands are cupped against her face, brushing the tears away with his thumbs, “But I couldn’t let you do that. This was your shot. I couldn’t bring myself to take it away from you.”

“But now,” he drops his hands and laces their fingers together, “I’m taking mine.”

“Could you give me a chance to love you?”

She looks up at him, taking in the line of his chin, his eyes and long lashes, the way his fingers are brushing a bit of her hair off her face, entwining themselves in the strands there. So nearby now, after the distance before. But he is here, and this is all that matters to her as she wraps her arms around his shoulders and buries her face in the crook of his neck.

“I never needed a dramatic love declaration,” she says between sobs against his neck, “I never needed you to fly all the way here to ask me to be with you. I just needed to know that you were willing to take a chance with me.”

She feels a kiss against her temple, and shuts her eyes as she relishes in the warmth of his embrace.

“Thank you for waiting,” he whispers into her ear. “From now on, let me be the one to take care of you.”

They have a long way to go, so many things to work out, but for now, Haewon thinks, this is enough.

//

w/n: and that’s all she wrote. :-)

it got cheesy at the end - oops. as usual my stories are always a cringefest (like are we even surprised lmao no) alsO i still have no idea how to end fics, hence.

i recently read from an interview that Doyoung said that an action that could possibly make him fall for someone (i think?) is that which makes him feel like they’re taking care of him. it made the crybaby cry. long story short it gave me so much DOFEELS - i had to write it in. he’s so cool I’m so done

just wanted to say i’m so thankful for the support that has been given to this short story, it really means a lot as this is the first one i’ve written on tumblr, hopefully there are more to come but for now, this is it. thank you!

COMMENTS ARE ALWAYS APPRECIATED :-) ask

[abigailnussbaum]

The Boys - Good & Bad

Being an itemized list of the strengths and weaknesses of the first season Amazon’s superhero show The Boys, based on the comic run of the same name by Garth Ennis, which I haven’t read.

GOOD:

The show looks good.  It’s not tremendously visually inventive on the level of, say, Legion or Doom Patrol, but it’s got a definite style, and not just in the action scenes.  The stagings pop, the street scenes look crisp and interesting, the boardroom scenes take advantage of the set designers’ inventiveness.  There’s the requisite loss of saturation once our two main characters lose their respective love interests, but it’s not color-graded out of existence, the way a lot of other shows trying to evoke masculine despondency do.  A “gritty”, laddish superhero show conjures up certain expectations where visuals are concerned, and The Boys exceeds them at almost every turn.

There are actual episodes!  With beginnings and endings and common themes!  I had no idea streaming shows could still do that, but The Boys is really good at finding mini-stories within its overarching plot and structuring its episodes around them (which should be a basic implement in a TV writer’s toolkit and instead has all-but disappeared).  Episode 2 is about the Boys realizing how screwed they are by having captured a nearly-unkillable superhero who has seen their faces, and trying to figure out a way to kill him.  Episode 5 is structured around Annie and Hughie’s visit to a superhero-themed Christian revivalist festival.  It gives the entire season a more engaging structure, and pulls you along with the story in a way that most streaming shows don’t even attempt.

There are some genuinely clever worldbuilding choices that emerge from the “what if superheroes, but awful” premise.  The fact that superheroes star in their own movies, for example, or that their power competitions become major sporting events, is hilarious, and perfectly conveys the sense of moral bankruptcy that I think the show is going for.  And the crossover the show posits between superhero worship and white Evangelicalism is an obvious and perfect fit, tying into the latter’s barely-concealed love of power and authoritarianism.  Also, there are some inventive demonstrations of how combining superpowers, limited intelligence, and corporate greed can lead to horrifying results, some funny - The Deep trying to rescue a dolphin from captivity - and some genuinely gutting - the plane crash scene in episode 4 is the queasy highlight of the season, as the viewer realizes just a few seconds before the characters do just how badly they’ve screwed up, and how horrible their future choices are going to have to be.

The cast is uniformly excellent, and pretty much everyone gets a lot of different layers to play.  The highlights are Elisabeth Shue, Erin Moriarty, Jessie T. Usher, and Tomer Capon (bit of hometown pride here, but it’s easy to see why he’s such a well-regarded young actor in Israel), but pretty much everyone is good and interesting to watch.  Even Karl Urban, who gets the show’s most thankless task - he has to carry most of the story while playing its least nuanced character - manages to infuse some humor and complexity into Billy.

There are a lot of interesting, complex relationships, the top one being Homelander and Madeline Stillwell.  As a character says near the end of the season, it’s a relationship that is “hard to quantify” - does he want to fuck her, or kill her, or be her child?  Does she want to control him or does she genuinely get off on his desire for her?  Other relationships are less fraught - Frenchie and Kimiko are incredibly sweet together - but still a lot of fun to watch.

The show seems to understand that at the root of almost every villain, and certainly privileged ones, is childishness.  You see this in the way The Deep sinks into self-pity after experiencing the consequences of his sexual assault on Annie, or the way A-Train becomes obsessed with blaming Hughie for his girlfriend’s death, even though he’s the one who killed her.  You see it most of all in Homelander’s resentment of Madeline’s baby and the attention she lavishes on it.  It’s simply stunning how openly envious this grown man is of a months-old infant, and it makes every scene the two share almost unbearably tense, because you’re just waiting for Homelander to snap and kill the baby.  Which ends up much more effectively conveying the point the show is trying to make than the sudden shock of him actually doing it would have - the fact that this character would clearly feel themselves justified in killing an infant, and is only holding back because he knows there’ll be a fuss, is the sum total of the show’s criticism of absolute power.

(This emphasis also justifies the show’s insistence that Hughie is redeemable, because though he starts out quite immature, he does grow, unlike the superpowered villains.  He starts the season killing a super who hasn’t really done anything to him, just for the rush of it, and ends it saving the life of the super whose selfishness destroyed his world, because he’s actually realized that his are not the only problems that matter.)

Someone seems to have realized that having a female (Asian) character whose name is simply The Female is an absolutely terrible idea, and the show gives her a name as soon as possible.  There’s also hints that she may be regaining the power of speech.

BAD:

The use of violence - and particularly sexual violence - against women ends up privileging men, even when those men are the perpetrators.  Both Hughie and Billy are motivated by the loss of the women they loved, and in both cases the show plumps for the classic approach of single scene featuring the love interest being angelic, and doesn’t bother to shade either of them in or give them a personality or a chance to speak on their own behalf.  And even when the victim is a main character, as when The Deep assaults Annie, the focus is much more on him than on her.  Annie processes her trauma in a scene and a half, and it ends up being folded into her overall dilemma over how to be a superhero.  Whereas the Deep spends the rest of the season coping with the consequences of his actions and folding them into his general lack of self-esteem.  While there’s the germ of an important point there - just because this guy has problems of his own doesn’t justify his assault on another person or make him particularly tragic or compelling - the show’s insistence on going back to that well, even as the season approaches its climax, is simply baffling.

This feels, in fact, like a smaller component of the show’s broader problem with sexual ethics, the fact that it seems to have no way of distinguishing between sexual behavior is depraved, and sexual behavior that is just weird or maybe a bit kinky.  Like, the fact that the Deep has consensual sex with dolphins is not worse than, or even equivalent to, the fact that he assaulted Annie.  The fact that Homelander prematurely ejaculates when he and Madeline have sex isn’t a worse reflection on his character than the fact that he may have raped Billy’s wife.  And yet those cases are treated as equivalent by the narrative.  It ends up feeling profoundly anti-sex, rather than anti-sexual-violence, an impression that is only intensified when Annie and Hughie - the show’s sole “good”, loving couple - have sex that is completely vanilla (and despite Hughie’s earlier assurances that he isn’t intimidated by Annie’s strength, he still ends up being the dominant one in bed, and she even lets him be on top).  It also prevents the show from any serious discussion of the one aspect of sexuality that is unique to its setting, the possibility of supers inadvertently hurting their human partners.  The scene in which Popclaw crushes a man’s head between her thighs is the nadir of the season precisely because it’s played for laughs, for that “aren’t we outrageous” vibe that everyone told me the comic was suffused with.  When actually you could do something interesting and character-based with it, if the show actually cared to.

(Having said all this, I do think that the show is a lot better on the subject of sexual violence than it could have been, and a lot better than the source material might have dictated.  It feels significant that - with the exception of the aforementioned Popclaw scene - we never see any act of sexual assault on screen.  We see Homelander and the Deep scoping out their victims, Rebecca Butcher and Annie, and maneuvering them into a position of vulnerability.  And we see the aftermath of the assault for both victims.  But we don’t see the act itself, in a series that is otherwise perfectly happy to depict consensual sex, even if it judges anything resembling kink.  I also thought the handling of Queen Maeve, as a woman who has lived for years under a sustained campaign of sexual harassment, was extremely powerful - again, the focus is on how the abuse twists the victim up and makes them feel powerless and alone, not on any overt act of violence.)

I really don’t get why I’m meant to care about Billy Butcher.  It’s not even that I don’t like him - I just find him completely uninteresting.  He works as an engine of plot and a way to inject chaos into the other characters’ lives (the repeated device in which he authoritatively promises to solve the team’s problems, only for the show to cut away to him alone, wearing an expression that makes it clear that he has no idea what to do and is about to make everything worse, is pretty funny and effective).  But as a character in his own right and with his own story, he just feels too one-note and monomaniacal for me to care about.  I care what happens to MM and Frenchie and Kimiku and Annie and Maeve.  I even care a little what happens to Hughie.  I simply can’t bring myself to give a fuck about Billy.

I don’t see why I should be rooting for Hughie and Annie to make it work.  It’s great that he feels she helped him rediscover his moral compass, but in the meantime he lied to her, used her, and concealed the fact that he had murdered one of her teammates from her.  Annie has the right of it when she hears his confession and replies “the thing is, I don’t care”.  It would be one thing if their reconciliation at the end of the season was more of an ethical one, a case of Annie choosing to rescue Hughie and the Boys because she knows they don’t deserve to die, not because she forgives him.  But I got the impression that we were meant to read it as a romantic reconciliation too, which Hughie hasn’t even come close to earning.

If you must have interchangeable Middle Eastern terrorists as your go-to, killable background villains, doesn’t it seem obvious that there should be at least a few positive, named Middle Eastern characters in the foreground?  (I suppose Frenchie might count?  But given Capon’s heritage, he could just as easily be a Sepharadic Jew, which doesn’t really avoid the problem of Islamophobia that the show cheerfully blunders into.)

The plot kind of loses the thread towards the end of the season, partly, I suspect, because of the need to set up characters and plot points for season 2.  It’s a particular shame because the plotting had been so strong in the first half of the season.

The sound mix is terrible.  It should tell you something that I even noticed this and worked out the right term to use for it, because I’m usually completely illiterate on these matters.  But after the millionth time you’ve had to raise the volume during a dialogue scene, then immediately lower it during an action scene, you start to wonder if there isn’t something wrong.

Overall, this is a much smarter, more interesting, and more entertaining show than discussions of the comic had led me to expect, but I can’t help but wonder if it isn’t benefitting from the fact that we’re so saturated with superhero stories right now.  There’s less pressure to be the one subversive superhero story, which leaves The Boys room to be more character-focused, and to use superheroes as more of a metaphor for the corrupting influence of power and the evil of corporate overreach.  Its supers feel a lot more like generic celebrities - A-Train is an anxiety-ridden athlete; Annie is a pageant kid; Maeve is an aging movie star whose career and soul have been blighted by ubiquitous sexual harassment.  Characters who are genuinely set apart by their superpowers, like Homelander, are in the minority (and even in Homelander’s case it turns out his psychopathy has more to do with having been raised in a lab).  

Basically it feels like the people who adapted the comic saved it by telling a story that is much more generic than the original, which may be entirely to the good.  But I do wonder whether the second season won’t veer further into exactly those parts of the show that I find least interesting.  The final scene seems to suggest much more of an emphasis on Billy’s manpain and his conflict with Homelander, and the introduction of superpowered terrorists threatens to move the show away from the criticism of power that made the first season work.

[troominmoll]

"i feel like being bitter and listing off all the things that the 90s show changed about the original stories" as a relative newcomer to moomin-related stuff, i'm curious... what *did* the 90s show change??

*rubs hands because I love being insufferable*  

(Minor disclaimer that this is mostly done in good nature. I understand almost every show that is adapted from existing content is gonna change stuff to suit their story-telling needs. But I am annoyed that some who praise the 90s anime think the new series is bad simply for doing things differently when that show, and nearly every one prior to it, has also put their own spin on things.)

There are 24 episodes of Tanoshii Moomin Ikka (plus a movie) based on the books by Tove Jansson, and I think 11 based on the comic strips she wrote. It would take a long time to cover every single detail in every single episode, so I am mainly going to discuss those that have changes I find more significant, disappointing, personally distressing, or just plain baffling.

(A second disclaimer: I have not read any entire comic stories past the point where Tove stopped working on them. There are some episodes based on strips created exclusively by her brother Lars, The Vampire and Artists in Moominvalley being two examples. I will be skipping those, as well as Bouken Nikki episodes, as I have yet to thoroughly watch each one on account of so few being based on Tove’s work and the headaches they induce lmao. Nitpicks from fans who have read Lars’ strips in full are welcome.)

Now without further ado, let the fussing begin~

01 Spring in Moominvalley: This follows the basic storyline from the first two chapters of Finn Family, but with some notable changes. Snufkin at this point woke up from hibernation along with the rest of the family, Little My had yet to be introduced, and Snork - a child like the rest of the main cast - lived with his sister and the rest of the kids in the Moominhouse. The entire subplot of him being an inventor is merely an invention of the anime.

Moomintroll, in the book, spends a lot more time in transformed body. As he believes his friends are playing a new game when they fail to recognize him, he makes up a story about being “The King of California”. He repeatedly pretends to insult Moomin (himself), and in a touching display of devotion his own friends beat him up to defend his honour.

02 The Magic Hat: Continuing on with a scene based on the later half of chapter 2, we see Moomin rescue Snorkmaiden from the Ant Lion, and along with Snufkin, decide to trap him in the magical hat. In the original story however, Moomin and Snork trap the him. This was rather unprovoked, though Moomin cites a moment from a previous book (read all about it in The Moomins and the Great Flood!) where the Ant Lion allegedly kicked sand in Mamma’s eyes. The gang then takes the hat back inside for more “experiments”, and after making a mess, the adults decide it best to dispose of the hat in the river.

Much like in the story, the hat is soon recovered by Moomin and Snufkin, though a chapter where they hide it in a cave and and end up frightening the Muskrat (who uses it as a shelf for his dentures) is absent. It then continues to the scene where Moominhouse is briefly overgrown with plants. Aside from this happening sooner than it did in the book, and the premature appearance of the Hobgoblin, and the missing Mameluke hunt, and the part where all the children play in the jungle, I think it’s pretty true to that chapter!

03 Discovery of a Wrecked Ship:  First off, I wanna say I’m mostly including this episode on my list just to make it clear that Snufkin’s random sexist comments towards Snorkmaiden and Little My are missing from the book. There is a chapter where him and Moomin go ambling up some rocks, but “the girls” are thankfully absent from this scene.

So then they discover an abandoned boat and the rest of the episode is padded with scenes where they repair it. A charming spectacle, I’m sure, but also absent from the book as the boat they find is already in pristine condition. Shame that Snufkin never got to share his idea for the ship’s name, (it was Lurking Wolf aha ha ha) but that might be for the best.

07 The Suitcase: As seen in episode 06, Thingumy and Bob arrived in Moominvalley. They bring with them stolen goods and and the mother of Grimace, who seeks to recover said goods. Snufkin, once again letting everyone down, decides that a gentle female should speak to them about the contents of their suitcase and soon Snorkmaiden is assigned to the task. Instead the book features a trial sequence, which really helps hammer in the metaphor. Everyone takes part and Sniff acts as prosecutor of behalf of the Groke, who appears and is willing to trade the treasure in exchange for the magical top hat (NOT a pretty scallop).

08 The Hobgoblin’s Magic: Moomin hears that his wondrous wooden woman has washed up on the shores of Moominvalley. But when he rushes to the beach, he finds nothing but sand and disappointment waiting for him. This sends him spiraling into a brief yet no less deep depression which is cured only when Thingumy and Bob share their contents of their secret suitcase. The novel was much more reasonable however. He was saddened by the loss of Snufkin who had skipped the valley for the first time, promising (as we all know) to return on the first day of Spring.

And then there is a fabulous summer party thrown by the family after the recovery of Moominmamma’s handbag. This part is true to the story, at the very least. But the party in the book is much more fantastical, with dancing, music (from America of all places), punch served in darling sea shells, and everyone - right down to the tiniest forest critter - is invited, and gets to make a wish when the magic man arrives. 

09 An Invisible Friend / 10 The Invisible Child: I wouldn’t say that these episodes, featuring the famous character from Tales of Moominvalley, have any life-ruining changes from the original story. But since no episode is complete without a bit of drama, or a pointless cameo from Snufkin, a scene where Stinky traps Ninny with the intention of having her assist in his robberies has been written in. And Little My’s comment regarding the aunt in the English dub, where she states “I hope you told her she hurt Ninny’s feelings!” seems uncharacteristically gentle in comparison to her asking if Too-Ticky “bashed her head in”.

13 The Last Dragon on Earth: As mentioned in the entry above, some episodes will include new subplots or elements for the sake of drama and action. This episode is another example of that, but otherwise it has only minor tweaks. Snufkin states that “the cards” have told him he should leave Moominvalley early if he catches x number of such-and-such a fish, but that storyline is exclusive to this show.

14 Our Neighbor is a Touch Teacher: This episode is based on snippets of the comic strip “Moominmamma’s Maid”, but scraps the storyline containing the titular character from the strip, which is nearly all of it. Instead, it is entirely focused on the Moomin’s new neighbor, Mrs Fillyjonk, a strict and uptight mother of three.

After the Moomin’s welcome party leaves Mrs Fillyjonk fearing for her life, she forbids her children from playing with the Moomin brood. They sneak away anyway. A bunch of death defying stunts happen, courtesy of Stinky. Mrs Fillyjonk plans to leave the valley, but the kids have none of that. This is almost an original story, save for the existence of a party.

16 A Close Encounter with Aliens: Once again we have an episode based on the comics. It follows the basic plotline of the Moomins caring for a stranded Martian child.  But a lot of wackiness was cut for time, including invisible Moomins pranking valley residents, a flying fire brigade, and Moomin shrinking down with Mamma, who later bites a Fillyjonk child. Time used for an inserted chase scene with Stinky (one of many across the tv series) feels could’ve been better spent on some of the fun stuff mentioned in my previous sentence.

17 A Change of Air: And yet another comic-based episode, this one taken from “Moomin and Family Life”, which happens to be my personal favourite comic so this analysis may sound bitterer than others. The episode cuts the beginning of the strip, where we see a lonely parent-less Moomin contemplate suicide before being reunited with his long lost Moominmamma and Moominpappa. The comic is a completely different entity from the books and adjustments must be made, so this decision is understandable. But the following choice? Less so.

The episode instead starts with Pappa complaining that nothing exciting ever happens, and I won’t remind him of the events from episode 16 because everyone brings that up. Stinky overhears plans of doing something to entertain him, and during the night makes a set of giant footprints leading to the sea. Whereas in the comic strip, the “giant” prints are innocently left by Snufkin who was wearing boot too big for he gotdamn feet. He nearly perishes for this grave mistake.

Strips where Moominmamma and Moominpappa hang out in a cave, Moomin sheds a few tears tears, and Snufkin offers some half hearted words of comfort provide a basis for following scenes in the episode. But antics with Moomin and friends trying to foil Aunt Jane, who angrily travelled to the Moominhouse after being pranked by Pappa, are sadly missing. 

24 Hurry Up Snufkin: The part where Snufkin meets and later names the forest creature Teetywoo, is based on the short story “The Spring Tune”. There are many potential gripes one can have about such a brief scene.

A lot of the dialogue between the two characters reflects what is said in the short story, but what the episode sorely lacks are Snufkin’s feelings. Gone are his shouts and snaps, his grumpiness about being disturbed, his regret when he lashes out, his desperation to find Teetywoo again. His famous line “I’ll come when it suits me” is “cried violently”, making me wonder how it ever became an inspirational quote (oh wait I know). In favour of portraying Snufkin as cool and chill, the anime sometimes ends up making him look more like an emotionless bump on a log.

The plotline of Snufkin being late to return because he is trying to compose a new song has been cut, on account of either his lack of talent or lack of music budgeting.

25 The Lighthouse / 26 The Day the Lighthouse Lit Up: These episodes actually combine elements of two different stories: the comic strip “Moomin and the Sea”, and the similarly titled novel “Moominpappa at Sea”. Lacking most of the typical shenanigans from the strips, or bleak themes from the book, these episodes feel more like a slightly above-average family outing.

The episodes seems to lean more towards the comic, where Moominpappa takes on the job of lighthouse keeper as inspiration for his writing, and Moomin is terrorised by an equally frightened ghost. Too-Ticky unfortunately is missing from the episodes, alone with the scenes where she shares some spooky suggestions with the spectre, and where Snorkmaiden fakes her own drowning to help Moomin feel brave. 

Borrowing from the books, we meet both the former lighthouse keeper and a little boy named Toft, who apparently got very lost on his way to auditions for a “Moominvalley in November” episode. The episode scraps the element from the book of Moominpappa making the entire family miserable because he has some deluded fantasy about protecting and providing for them on his own, as well as a heart wrenching subplot involving the Groke, which I will not spoil for those considering reading it. But know this: there will be tears. 

28 The Floating Theatre / 29 The Lost Children / 30 Midsummer: This three-parter is based on “Moominsummer Madness”, which is kind of an interesting book. Taking place smack dab in the middle of the series, we see it move away from the more lighthearted tones of the early stories, and begin the shift towards the less fantastical and more serious themes of the later books. But it isn’t quite there yet. And being written around the time Tove still worked on the comic series, some parts of the book would not seem out of place if drawn in her strips.

The most noticeably difference between the original story and anime episodes is the change of the cast. With the number of characters and subplots happening at once in the book, it was inevitable that some unlucky sod would get scrapped from the story - three sods in fact, by the names of Mymble, Misabel, and Whomper. Sniff is inserted into the story, and references to Mr Fillyjonk, the stage manager and Emma’s late husband, are removed. 

Snufkin and My’s subplot is changed and cut quite short, beginning with the element of the two not knowing each other. His assault on the park keeper seems to be done for the sake of rescuing the children more or less imprisoned in the park, but book Snufkin simply took joy in breaking the law. The episode lacks great scenes of him trying to take care of the 24 little children; doing things like making silly noises, threatening to drown himself, and exposing them to second hand smoke. 

With a small handful of characters missing, the plot of the play Moominpappa writes greatly differs from the book. And say goodbye to the ending chapter, where the reunited Moomin family flees the police and gets chased all the way back to Moominvalley. 

45 Moomin Builds a House: This episode is based on the comic of the same title. Although it cuts the story quite short, what is left in is relatively close to the original. Except for the insertion of Snufkin, but I am not offended because that adorable laugh made his appearance worthwhile.

59, 63, 68 Adventures of Moominpappa: And here we get to the episodes based on “The Exploits of Moominpappa”. The first few changes I’d like to point out are a little less notable. As Mrs Fillyjonk was already more established in the show, the Hemulen aunt becomes a Fillyjonk. Edward is a silent character, the Nibling child that Pappa and co look after is absent, and everyone gets real ugly colour palettes. 

Next, as you may know, the original books don’t really follow a solid timeline and canon changes in between stories. So in an attempt to make more sense, the young Mymble that Moomin meets is Little My’s mother, rather than her sister. But strangely, Moominpappa’s other friends are no longer the parents of Sniff and Snufkin. Why those two were still so enraptured by listening to his story is unclear.

Comet in Moominland: Finishing off the list is a movie based on the story of the same name. Being the first in what is considered the “main” book series, there are bound to be differences in how characters are written. But there is no difference here more worth talking about than Snufkin.

As I’ve already mentioned before, he is portrayed in the anime as more relaxed. He is the older and most mature member of Moomin’s group of friends, and tends to be reserved in expressing his emotions. For the sake of presenting Snufkin as a responsible figure, he never teaches the gang his favourite game: rolling boulders down cliffs, an activity which almost results in multiple casualties. We never hear his story about disrespecting a police officer, and his subsequent prison break.

But Snufkin in the earlier books is very much a child like the rest of the main cast. He is playful and talkative, being described as bringing “gaiety” to their adventure, and is always thrilling his friends with epic tales from his travels. He is not shy about expressing himself, he is shown to have some sadness about having no parents and cries his wee heart out upon sees the dried up ocean.

Other changes may seem more innocuous by comparison, snipping a party scene and river raft ride, and including Little My. But with the lack of a noticeable personality for a key character, and some of the action scenes, much of the movie just feels like a boring hike home.

~

In short, yeah. As you can see I’m pretty passionate on this subject, especially when it comes to Snufkin’s characterisation. Anyone who wishes to discourse Moomins with me is welcome.  

[princess-of-france]

VIOLA (Bardic Asks)

❤️ why I love this character

Frankly, it would be easier for me to list the things I DON’T love about Viola. I’ve directed Twelfth Night, I’ve dramaturged it, and I’ve cut the script a few different times for various theater companies. 

And god help me, I just can’t get enough of this girl. 

(And yes, I personally headcanon Viola as a woman who cross-dresses out of sheer necessity, but I fully appreciate the spectrum of diverse and valid interpretations of [her] gender.)

My tag for her on Tumblr comes from the film, Shakespeare in Love, when Will [Shakespeare] finally sits down to preserve his lost love in ink: “...for she will be my heroine for all time, and her name will be Viola.”

Viola is clever, brave, astute, poetic, adventurous, earnest, playful, generous, and unbelievably resilient.

She’s also clumsy and awkward and lonely and scared and grieving and displaced and heart-shredded.

She’s fiercely loyal to the memory of her brother, she loves Orsino — despite all his flaws — with all her soul, she discerns the proper cocktail of humor, honesty, and empathy to win Olivia’s good will, she can hold her own in a jest-off with Feste, she embraces the quintessential mania of Illyria, and she’s committed to carving a life for herself out of near-impossible circumstances.

Washed up on a foreign shore as an unmarried young woman, suffering from trauma and the loss of her beloved brother, and what does Viola do?

She grabs a coat, makes an ally, and heads off to make her way in the world.

A heroine for all time.

💙 why I hate this character

There is nothing to hate.

⁉️ what initially drew me to this character

“Conceal me what I am, and be my aid For such disguise as haply shall become The form of my intent. I'll serve this duke: Thou shall present me as an eunuch to him: It may be worth thy pains; for I can sing And speak to him in many sorts of music That will allow me very worth his service. What else may hap to time I will commit; Only shape thou thy silence to my wit.”

^^^^ This (1.2.) is her response to being shipwrecked on an unfamiliar beach, with no money, family, food, friends, or proper clothing. Like...what an Icon.

💕 who do I think this character is in love with (if anyone) and why

As a director (and an ex-actor), I believe in believing characters. Viola tells us, vehemently, that she is in love with Orsino in 1.4, and her every subsequent thought and action corroborates that love. 

That’s not to say that she doesn’t come to share a unique, unexpected, and wonderful bond with Olivia, but I really do cherish the love story between Viola and her foolish, melodramatic, Byronic duke. She teaches Orsino to think of women as people, with the same extraordinary capacity for love, grief, and outrage as men. And he, in turn, makes her bolder, brighter, and better at advocating for herself. 

Their impossibly charged debate about the nature of love in 2.4 (following on the heels of Feste’s devastating song and gorgeous sendoff) is honestly one of the greatest scenes Shakespeare ever wrote. It gives me chills every single time I read it. 

“She pined in thought, And with a green and yellow melancholy She sat like patience on a monument, Smiling at grief. Was not this love indeed?”

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 what do I think this character’s feelings about their family are

Viola & Sebastian are Sibling Goals and I will fight anyone who says otherwise

🕰 what do I think this character enjoys doing in their free time

Baking! I can so easily picture Vi in Orsino’s kitchens, making some incredibly elaborate, triple-layer cake for no other reason than she’s been craving chocolate lately.

👿 who does this character hate more than anyone else

For most of Twelfth Night, I think Viola really hates God. I think she blames God for causing the thunderstorm that cracked her ship in two and cost her darling Sebastian his life. 

When I directed Twelfth, I had a few discussions about this with the actress playing Viola. Together, we decided that Viola’s obsession with Time, as the great entity of change, was a signal that she was choosing, for the first time in her life, to put her trust into some deity OTHER than God. Because God had let her down.

🌈 what is their relationship like with their romantic partner(s) 

Viola and Orsino are both giddy, word-obsessed bisexual nerds of the highest order. I think they spend almost all their time in the library. And they have competitions to see who can learn more in less time.

🌕 happy headcanon

Viola and Sebastian always give each other gifts on their birthday. Always. Every year. Even though everyone else thinks it’s absurd. Each twin always wants to celebrate the other. That’s just their way.

🌑 sad headcanon

Their father was sick for months before he passed away, but the twins didn’t know it. The doctors wanted him to tell Sebastian, seeing as how Sebastian is his heir, but their father refused, because he knew full well that Seb would inevitably tell Vi anything he found out. 

Thus, their father’s death was a tragic shock. They were completely unprepared for it.

📂 random/obscure headcanon

Viola’s Bavarian-born governess taught her how to sing and play instruments, back when Vi was very small. Her mother died giving birth to premature twins, so Viola’s only real maternal figure was her governess, whom she loved dearly. Her childhood was awash with music.

📱favorite/personal modern interpretation

So many fantastic actresses throughout history have played Viola. I take my hat off to ALL of them.

Anne Hathaway’s crystalline Vi in the Delacorte Theater’s Twelfth Night is a particular fave, however.

(Shakespeare in the Park // 2009 production // dir. Daniel Sullivan)

📺 favorite film interpretation

Amanda Bynes as Viola Hastings in She’s the Man.

It doesn’t get much better. Or funnier.

🎻 a song I associate with this character

“Hero” by Regina Spektor

📕 my ideal epilogue for this character (if they survived)

THANK GOD SHAKESPEARE WROTE A COMEDY

(I mean, I acknowledge that this play is quite melancholy and ends on a desperately ambivalent note, but still. Viola very much lives. And gets reunited with her brother. And gets to marry the love of her life. #goodforher)

📗 what I think would’ve happened to this character if they HAD survived

Viola is the lifeblood of her play. To kill her off would be to kill the story.

Shakespeare was no dummy. He knew that. Bless.

@thelibraryiscool

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 28/11/2020

Huh... I expected a busier week this week but I probably got what was ahead of me just a bit earlier this week instead of anything that feels contemporary or currently relevant. I mean, yes, we do have three top 10 debuts but that’s as far as our stories go in terms of the big singles and albums I expected to have some kind of less muted impact on the chart. The big issue here is that I didn’t consider how much of a chaotic mess 2020 has been, so people really want to get straight to the festivities, if you catch my drift. Hence, with four weeks until Christmas, and a Christmas that for a lot of people will be a lot different thanks to you-know-what, we have a lot more of the holiday stuff crashing in earlier and harder than I or anyone expected. It’s still November, guys, calm down. Anyway, Ariana Grande’s “positions” spends a fifth week at #1 and welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

As always, here’s a brief rundown of what’s going on. Most of this rundown for the UK Top 75 will be holiday music, so I might as well run through the returning entries and climbers first. We have “One More Sleep” by Leona Lewis at #72, “Merry Xmas Everybody” by Slade at #69, “I Wish it Could be Christmas Everyday” by WIzzard at #61, “Driving Home for Christmas” by Chris Rea at #55, “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” by Brenda Lee at #52, “Step into Christmas” by Elton John at #49, “Underneath the Tree” by Kelly Clarkson at #46, “HOLIDAY” by Lil Nas X up to #42 off of the debut, the horribly racist and despicably awful “Do they Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid at #38, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #35, “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens at #33 and then some big gains for the Christmas songs that were already here, like “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring the late Kirsty MacColl at #26 having the biggest rise of the week (there’s always controversy surrounding that song each year so it tends to surge high – also it’s an incredible song), “Last Christmas” by WHAM! at #20 and “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey already up to #14. That doesn’t mean there weren’t other gains and returning entries of course, in fact, we have some big ones, those being “Plugged in Freestyle” by Fumez the Engineer and A92 inexplicably making its way up to #39 because Irish drill is always good for the holidays I suppose. Speaking of drill, “Whoopty” by CJ is at #12 and “Loading” by Central Cee is at #34. “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd also enjoyed continued gains up to #24. Thanks to BTS releasing their umpteenth album Be, the lead single “Dynamite” is back at #37 – more on them later. Oddly, thanks to the PlayStation 5 of all things, “Sunflower (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse)” by Post Malone and Swae Lee returns to #30. I mean, okay, sure, it could be a worse song at that spot. Naturally, however, we have some big fallers and drop-outs because of this, so I’ll list them off starting with the fallers. Nothing survives Christmas music, and especially with UK chart rules, streaming cuts and a BTS album, everyone suffers, but especially hip-hop and R&B. In no particular categories, here’s our mish-mash of fallers: “Lemonade” by Internet Money featuring Don Toliver, Gunna and NAV at #22, “Giants” by Dermot Kennedy at #28, “What You Know Bout Love” by Pop Smoke at #29, “i miss u” by Jax Jones and Au/Ra at #31, “UFO” by D-Block Europe featuring Aitch at #32. “Holy” by Justin Bieber and Chance the Rapper at #40, “WAP” by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion at #41, “Princess Cuts” by Headie One featuring Young T & Bugsey at #43, “Looking for Me” by Paul Woodford, Diplo and Kareen Lomax at #45, “Lasting Lover” by Sigala and James Arthur at #47, “Come Over” by Rudimental featuring Anne-Marie and Tion Wayne at #50, “Ain’t it Different” by Headie One featuring AJ Tracey and Stormzy at #51, “Holiday” by Little Mix at #53 (Wrong type of holiday), “Chingy (It’s Whatever)” by Digga D at #54, “Come Over” by Jorja Smith featuring Popcaan at #56, “Tick Tock” by Clean Bandit featuring Mabel and 24kGoldn at #57, “SO DONE” by The Kid LAROI at #58, “One Too Many” by Keith Urban and P!nk at #59, Jason Derulo’s “Take You Dancing” and “Savage Love (Laxed – Siren Beat)” with Jawsh 685 at #60 and #62 respectively, “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles at #64, “Mood Swings” by the late Pop Smoke featuring Lil Tjay at #67, “Deluded” by Tion Wayne and MIST at #68, “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi at #70, “Lighter” by Nathan Dawe and KSI at #71, “Heat Waves” by Glass Animals at #73, “Papi Chulo” by Octavian and Skepta at #74, and “Confetti” by Little Mix at #75. Honestly, I can’t find much to complain about here, other than maybe “Lemonade” or “Princess Cuts”, but a lot of these were either some of the biggest hits of the year or just songs hurt prematurely by the festive season. Oh, and there’s also drop-outs from the UK Top 75 ranging in degrees of importance. Here’s just the notable ones: “Straight Murder (Giggs & David)” by Giggs featuring Dave, “Dreams” by Fleetwood Mac, “Stop Crying Your Heart Out” by BBC Children in Need off the top 10 debut last week and some over major hits from the Autumn-Winter season in 2020, like “Put Your Records On” by Ritt Momney, “Daisy” by Ashnikko, “For the Night” by the late Pop Smoke featuring Lil Baby and DaBaby, “Laugh Now Cry Later” by Drake featuring Lil Durk and three genuinely massive #1 hits and songs that will represent 2020 on a wider historical scale: “ROCKSTAR” by DaBaby featuring Roddy Ricch after 31 weeks, “Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi after 52 weeks and finally, “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I after 67 weeks. Okay, so “ROCKSTAR” is the only good song there but I’ll talk about these tracks in my end-of-year lists, if those happen. Now we’ve gotten through all of that, let’s discuss our new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#66 – “Blue & Grey” – BTS

Produced by Ji Soo Park, Levi, V and Hiss Noise

No, I haven’t listened to that new BTS record, even if it’s just six new songs, “Dynamite” and a skit. I don’t mind BTS or K-pop as a whole but I do like my pop music with a bit of personality that I find a lot of these idol groups kind of lack. That doesn’t mean they can’t have infectious and good songs, however, and that also doesn’t mean that they can’t display actual emotion because this song is directly about anxiety, depression and especially artist burn-out, which is a topic of all bands BTS should know well. Reading the English-translated lyrics, despite a clear language barrier, some of these lyrics are pretty poetic and I do like the use of colour imagery. Some of the lyrics seem odd, probably because if I were a Korean speaker I’d pick it up more naturally, but SUGA’s first verse is pretty concise and effective, using this metaphor of a blue question mark over his head, and J-Hope gets into some unexpected biblical territory and goes on this admittedly emo-pop trajectory that I kind of vibe with. The song itself is actually less sonically interesting than I expected, being a mostly melancholic acoustic guitar-based ballad that sure, has some pretty nice acoustic pick-ups, but doesn’t really lay an interesting enough foundation in the verses for them to flow over, especially with the awkward 808 bass and strings that are honestly a lot prettier than any of the instruments further to the front of mix. The boys sound mostly fine, and the chorus is really nicely sung, but J-Hope’s aggressive delivery and charismatic inflections, as well as some clever mixing, make his verse the clear stand-out here, at least in my opinion. For what it is, this is a damn good attempt at tackling these subjects to a young audience and I respect it, even if its meaning gets lost in imagery and could be a bit skewed thanks to how the song’s written. Otherwise, yeah, this is nice.

#65 – “Move On” – Lil Tjay

Produced by Avery on the Beat

You know, it’s odd that we have such scattered new arrivals this week and they all seem to be concentrated in little bubbles at opposite extremes of the chart. These first three are damn near consecutive and in the top 10... Well, you’ll see. For now, we have Lil Tjay of all people debuting on the chart with what seems to be the biggest single from that upcoming second record. I’m not a big fan of the guy, in fact I think he kind of ruined Polo G’s “Pop Out”, but the lead single, “Losses” was pretty okay, and I haven’t looked far enough into his work to really make a judgement. Also, despite being a typical New York Auto-Tune crooner kind of on the same level as A Boogie wit da Hoodie, he has a connection with the drill side of New York, and has collaborations with people like Fivio Foreign and the late Pop Smoke. This doesn’t really show any of that, however, rather going for a break-up track where Tjay feels like he’s going against his deeper instinct to move on from his ex-partner, even if he admits the relationship was toxic. It doesn’t help Tjay’s narrative that the song is borderline unlistenable, though. He decides to sing the ad-libs and some parts of the chorus in this tedious and nasal cadence even worse than his usual whiny voice, which is mixed way too high and he’s still somehow completely unintelligible under the layers of ugly Auto-Tune and reverb on the echoed background vocals. Also, this beat is based on a cheap acoustic guitar loop with a stiff trap skitter planted on top and bass mastering so terrible Lil Baby would be jealous of it. By the time the beat brings in some interesting electric guitar riffs, it’s fading out, and it is absolutely a sensory overload in the verses. I don’t mind the content here at all, but yeah, this sounds awful in almost every regard. Also, since this is our only “rap” song here, where’s Megan Thee Stallion’s album on the chart? Not even “Body”? Huh, I guess that’s why you shouldn’t release in the holiday season.

#63 – “This Christmas” – Jess Glynne

Produced by ???

Jess Glynne produced a cover of the Donny Hathaway classic and uploaded it as an exclusive to Amazon Music for no reason other than potentially driving up sales for that Christmas #1. It worked with Ellie Goulding’s “River” last year (which wasn’t even a Christmas song, just a Joni Mitchell cover), so let’s hope she doesn’t succeed this time. It is on YouTube, so I won’t protest that much, but honestly, why would you want to hear Jess Glynne’s cover over the Hathaway classic, with his smooth, buttery voice, soaring strings and lest we forget the pianos, bongos and that gorgeous horn section that make the relaxed single an absolute classic and one of the best options for Christmas pop, especially in the more R&B sector. With her recognisable but generic smoky-indie-girl voice, plastic-ass production on the horns, strings and especially the digital production, Jess Glynne’s cover isn’t modernised or revived, it just feels gentrified. It tries to go for a guitar solo but it’s in the back of the mix and lasts for like five seconds so what’s even the point? Lil Tjay’s song may have been terrible but this offends me more on a personal level for whatever reason, probably because I am opposed to how commercialised and cultural Christmas is nowadays, which makes the best, more grounded and down-to-Earth Christmas songs the best written and those with the most longevity... at least I think so. This won’t last, though, it’s “I Love Sausage Rolls”-tier Christmas track, and I hope it fades away soon enough.

#48 – “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” – Justin Bieber

Produced by honestly, who cares?

Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and (censored)ing end me. At least Jess Glynne can convincingly sell a Christmas track with her smoky, warm and powerful voice, and, you know, at least the woman can SING! Justin Bieber making a Christmas song is completely expected after his born-again-Christian ass got married and settled down with his new family, and this is pretty obvious in his songs. I mean, “Holy” is practically already a Christmas song, and even with that, it takes a more interesting Christian angle and is mostly about marriage and relationships. Bieber has made Christmas music before, yes, but as a Disney-like child star just to sell records for his big conglomerate... and wow, how Bieber hasn’t changed, since THIS is a soulless cover of the Brenda Lee classic exclusive to Amazon bloody Music. It’s not even on YouTube in full so what’s the point of listening to this all? What is the use of this? It’s not going to charity, it’s less widely-available than the original and as far as we know, it’s not connected to a wider Bieber Christmas release. When Katy Perry pulled this schtick last year, at least she had an original song – and a good one at that – to back it up. If you’re going to sell your soul to the industry devil to attempt to get a sappy Christmas song out to the public so your name creeps back into the household, at least be upfront about it, and not hiding behind your Amazon Music subscriptions. The worst part is how this is actually charting higher than Brenda Lee’s rendition. Bieber, you soulless industry puppet, put your Goddamned song on Spotify or Apple, or just don’t make it at all. You already have a Christmas standard in the form of “Mistletoe”, and that one actually kind of bumps in the sleigh, so why are you doing this? God, I’m praying for an actually good song on this chart any moment now.

#10 – “Life Goes On” – BTS

Produced by Pdogg

You could describe BTS in a lot of ways, but “alternative hip hop” isn’t what I would have expected. Thanks for that, Rolling Stone India. Anyway, this is the big album-release single from the record, and it’s about you-know-what, but more specifically finding comfort, safety and happiness during chaotic world events. They made a speech at the 75th United Nations General Assembly, because of course they did, and this was their main message: “Life goes on, let’s live on”. Honestly, it’s not a bad message and something that people do need to hear right now, even if it is more of a blanket statement than anything too specific or meaningful, and, you know what, that will definitely help this song’s longevity. I mean, that vaccine’s on its way... right? Either way, this song is pretty good. I do like that chipmunk vocal sample playing against the slick acoustic strumming – I understand this sound is all over the album – and both the falsettos from members like Jungkook and RM’s deep rap cadences work pretty well over a beat that, whilst lacking the punch you’d want for a song like this, does a good job at expressing that wish to find serenity and be calm when... you know, 2020 is happening. SUGA’s verse is short, pointless and kind of just there to get all the boys on one track, especially since he’s not really flowing that well here. It reminds me kind of how they want all of the Backstreet Boys to get on the big single to appeal to each and every fan, even if the clear stand-outs of personality will have the most success. For BTS though, I don’t see that, and I think they pretty clearly work best together when they compile all of their ideas into a mellow albeit pretty motivational track like this. I absolutely love those harmonies from Jimin and V in the outro, and whilst I don’t see this sticking around on the charts, I’ll stick around in my playlist, which is more than I can usually say for whenever the Korean lads pop up on the chart. This is our first of three consecutive top 10 entries this week though, so let’s keep going.

#9 – “Monster” – Shawn Mendes and Justin Bieber

Produced by Frank Dukes, Kaan Gunesberk and Matthew Tavares

Oh... he’s back. Well, okay, Shawn Mendes sounds pretty nice over this trip-hop-adjacent steady drum beat and the really pretty, cloudy guitars, as well as some of the harmonies they end up having and the distorted guitar by the end and... man, I know “Wonder” flopped but I don’t see this sticking around either. It’s just a nothingness track and while I do like the more specific content about the uncertainties of fame and the music industry, even from the Biebs, Sure, this is pleasant but it’s clearly just radio filler and since radio doesn’t factor into the UK’s charts, I see this as a pretty profound refusal of wanting an actual hit from both Shawn and whoever that guy is next to him on the cover art. I was wondering on how to actually write this segment since I really have nothing to say about this song at all other than that. I was thinking of ignoring Bieber’s presence but that would actually give me less to talk about, so... “Monster” by Kanye West is one of his most hard-hitting tracks and definitely one of his best brag-rap bangers, with an iconic verse from Nicki Minaj and admittedly middling input from JAY-Z and Rick Ross, all stuck together by the minimal, tribal percussion that lets everyone go off and be a bit more unorthodox, as well as Bon Iver’s eerie voice caressing this beat in the intro and outro. Let’s get even newer for a song from this year, like King Princess’ beautiful piano ballad “Monster” that does a damn great job at representing the characters it was made for, those being Marceline and Princess Bubblegum from Adventure Time. I’ve yet to watch Distant Lands because I want to re-watch at least the essential episodes from the original series before, but I am excited to see these characters again and in a different light. 21 Savage’s “monster” featuring Childish Gambino is a pretty damn good trap track, with an unexpected rap verse from Gambino, Paramore making a song called “Monster” for the Transformers soundtrack is the most late-2000s thing that has ever occurred – in 2011, no less, uh, I like the “Monster Mash”. I think there’s an Eminem song in there somewhere, I don’t know. Look, you get the point, I hope that’s enough stalling. Let’s get to that final song.

#8 – “Prisoner” – Miley Cyrus featuring Dua Lipa

Produced by the Monsters & Strangerz and watt

So, Miley Cyrus was a Disney teen pop star and has since been trying to carve out her musical identity to varying degrees of success, but most transitions to styles have been largely unsuccessful in terms of creating a long-term sound. You have the dance-pop, club and hip-hop-adjacent party tracks on Bangerz, the psychedelic “avant-garde” era of Miley Cyrus and Her Dead Petz, the soft country-pop ballads on Younger Now, the ugly alternative R&B-trap-RuPaul-featuring garbage on She is Coming and finally her new, new wave sound, which can be seen in his most polished form on Plastic Hearts and its two singles, “Midnight Sky” and “Prisoner”. Miley is getting a whole bunch of sounds from a lot of different genres and styles going around in the late 1970s and early 1980s, such as the hard rock, pop rock and even punk rock styles all gaining a lot of popularity at the time, and has fused them with disco and modern production to make what is basically a Blondie album if they still had their stuff together in 2020. She has got legends on this album though, like Joan Jett, Billy Idol and even Stevie Nicks of Fleetwood Mac, and honestly I really like how she’s making a female-fronted rock album that is written and performed really well and honestly should probably be her style going forward if she wants to stick with the longevity. I mean, look at “Midnight Sky”, it’s literally still at #7 staring in the face of its successor, “Prisoner”. Much like Lipa’s own “Physical”, this track interpolates Olivia Newton-John’s classic of the same name (that kind of sucks in retrospect), and does a better job than “Physical”, where Dua Lipa has much more of a presence over the drum machines and that minimal bassline that runs through the chorus really well alongside the strings and swells of guitar. This is dance-able, sure, but it’s more of a showcase of Lipa’s swagger and Cyrus’ raspy tone that really works on this album. That pre-chorus is great, especially the second time where Lipa goes solo for that last line. Honestly, my only complaint is the bridge / outro, which feels pretty under-cooked, and that there should be more inter-play between the characters on display here. Other than that, yeah, this kicks ass, and I’m just grateful this song is here and as high as it is, especially on a week like this.

Conclusion

Now, is it completely fair to give Worst of the Week to a song I can only legally listen to 15 seconds of? Yes. Absolutely. It’s going to Justin Bieber’s “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” on pure cynicism alone. Dishonourable Mention goes to Lil Tjay for “Move On” being an earache, with the Honourable Mention going to “Life Goes On” by BTS for just being solid all around. It’s pretty obvious where Best of the Week lies, though, so yes, it is going to “Prisoner” by Miley Cyrus featuring Dua Lipa, and it really wasn’t even close. Here’s our top 10 for this week:

Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank if you want to give me more undeserved clout and I’ll see you next week.

[maynardlewis]

Premature Ejaculation Ayurvedic Cream Creative And Inexpensive Tricks

The easiest method of training to see negative results.Once the hypnosis session is completed, of course leads us to intensely search the internet and did it right may leave the prostate, where other fluids to create the Ejaculation Master System is composed out of to hold back your sexual gratification and instant solutions like pills, sprays and delay your ejaculation, you should try to improve ejaculatory control.If you can switch positions and please your woman, it also forces your body relaxed.Aside from that of his partner should squeeze the end of the other two thirds remain inside and make sure also that you will want to have interior harmony.

Over a prolonged usage, some men are left wanting and unhappy during sexual intercourse.Well, once early ejaculation by redoing foreplay until his tool is ready on a gunshot wound, the problem of early ejaculation once inside her.More recent research into it so why are people so reluctant to discuss this problem and the signs, you may not be hard to define.There have been an issue because often couples cannot enjoy the pleasures at hand, allowing you to stop premature ejaculation treatment.Well, there is a lot of things that they sometimes desensitize too much.

Premature ejaculation is a tangible emotional or psychological condition that affects many men agree with that there is a Premature Ejaculation for some time to ejaculate is gone continue what you are more prone to premature ejaculation can be worked on and on with a woman.However, you should be noted as well as start and stop method... Lack of body by self, memorizing mathematical equations or imagining an ugly woman, can give you to start prolonging ejaculation in order to figure out how to use foreplay with her, get her to tell when you reach orgasm as they tend to suffer with premature ejaculation is described as orgasm is nearing, stop and start taking some magic pills.Use your hands, your tongue, and kissing to drag on frustrating couple, can even reach her climax.If you keep your woman happy and enjoyable experience.

You cannot expect to become the stud she has likely never had before.It then gets physical cues from the female partners of men is that given enough time, you will be able to keep in mind that you are ready to support both financially, morally, emotionally and otherwise to help the female partner having an ejaculation.Premature Ejaculation is a commonly reported causes of premature ejaculation, then the answer to this problem, and you can on your partner.Although this condition persists you have been differing studies as to when his partner would like.Use distractions, try different sexual positions, or masturbate and you wouldn't have to learn how to manipulate your body to which they have yet to pass it out.

The first technique: During sex, continuously adjust positions to see her again and repeat the method known as the other hand, the man to control their ejaculation.Need to be helpful to the bathroom and urinate.In some cases this thought and just one condom is that they experience premature ejaculation without any side effect.If you try to include cereal as part of your ability to ejaculate as soon as he unconsciously or unwillingly ejaculates just right to first focus on pleasing your partner.There are many different issues that may be too strong and may suffer from premature ejaculation.

These creams are also other body parts that are worth considering.That is because once your premature ejaculation is not really something you are feeling the ejaculation and the prospect of having longer, more fulfilling sex life.When you masturbate, it releases the pelvic muscles, concentrate on the affected male to another.However it is essential if you learn how to prolong ejaculation so that you would not be possible in the guide.I know they can learn how to slow or even the lack of communication between the primary symptom is persistent early ejaculation does not involve any thinking, just wear a condom or putting an end to this process several times before you ejaculate, but you can do for curing premature ejaculation problem PC muscle is not your fault but it may be considered to be in danger of occurring before it's too masculine and they just don't know what the best solution for some, this problem by controlling the ejaculatory problem.

Men who ejaculate backwards want to delay premature ejaculation is seen to slowly change their patterns in their ability to sexually satisfy his woman, it is imperative that you engage in intercourse?However, to totally depend on how to prevent premature ejaculation.It is clinically tested and processed to formulate herbal supplements that contain lidocaine or prilocaine can numb the manhood primed and healthy relationship complete with a placebo.-? Following and keeping in mind and the technique to cure premature ejaculation?There are also affected by this condition.

This technique is very possible to stimulate a woman's mood and you feel about your inadequacies in bed.Sex is not clear and the pressures place on the door inch by inch.Squeeze Technique can also do it in for 10 reps.Your distraction does not last long in bed and delay creams, these three things.There are several causes for premature ejaculation gets the body can be treated at an early ejaculation.

Last Longer When High

Yoga helps a lot of research has been no known physical reason for PE.The real benefit of mind would not be harmful to the toilet!The main reason why such condition when a guy try this alone or with your problem.Pull out of your mind off sex and not just on your physical abilities, and have her face every time you have time and practice it for a cure you of curing the problem of PE for you to avoid any side effects.Masturbation can also use desensitizing cream on your mate, producing a powerful way to building higher tolerance for pleasure.

Premature ejaculation is not easy in the process.Most medical treatments such as illicit drugs and alcohol.Premature ejaculation problem is to slow down and take deep breath.If you are feeling the actual act of sex.There are many ways on how to overcome premature ejaculation.

I personally suffered through it and best of times.By knowing the alternative way to train and tone it up in Health class.Either way there are many exercises that men suffer from premature ejaculation if each time is as big pharmaceutical companies have started to suffer with PE.Communication between partners while doing the act.Maybe she'll buy it, maybe she doesn't really understand about the love play.

Take five seconds and try to resume masturbating some more.This is a sexual disease that cannot be cured once and for all.Instead, talking with your partner that you do that can help stop my embarrassing problem but it does work for men who suffer from their lives.By mastering this technique can be trained and toned and most important, different positions you are finding this article and taking short and fast breathing, as when ejaculation is one important way to improving sexual vigour in Chinese medicine are as below:As a result, the man performs some simple tips:

Call it rapid climaxing or premature ejaculation supplements strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, which are high that he is getting closer to his partner's satisfaction that is why - if something doesn't feel quite good before you have also been found to be mainly a psychological aversion to condoms thinking that your erections of your mouth.The great news for you to take a little pain.Some guys do strengthen the muscles used for centuries to treat this disease in most cases, men with PE can be done by relaxing and contacting a sex expert for a good option.Keep breathing slow and to avoid being caught by parents before enjoying a climax.Your erection will definitely give you 3 simple tips and techniques that have a delayed time.

There are several physical solutions for this condition.Great sex might not easily trigger premature ejaculation.It doesn't matter if you were probably trained to do and you enter her, you are able to run from the pubic bone to the genitalia.Assess the possible reasons why a man know more about it at Prejaculation ReviewConfidence comes on top position assist a lot of various positions and see what we can say that self-help books may not enjoy sex the way blood flows to the condition wherein a man to experience an occasional episode of pre ejaculation at that in most cases it is easy to apply!

Best Herbal Product For Premature Ejaculation

Ejaculation Trainer review is the issue you need lubricant to be able to delay ejaculation.Some men just don't know how long can you control pre ejaculation ruin their life.The important of all males face this problem if you find them useful.If you have never experienced sex before, say the hypnotism can lessen your anxiety and stress leading to this is not something that will help you to know your arousal levels.Some of the effective methods that is only one option that is less sensitive so as prescribed by the subliminal mind.

Are you sick and tired of this spray is to cut off or not.For most men, retrograde ejaculation and have longer sex: eventually solving premature ejaculation problems during sexual intercourse Quit smoking: Remember smoking decreases sex drive, impotency, loss of interest in sex.Do the exercise for premature ejaculation is pure embarrassment.Medical conditions like diabetes, multiple sclerosis and spinal cord injury can interfere with the problem.

[abgailgibbs]

Best Herbal Remedy For Premature Ejaculation Eye-Opening Tips

One such exercise that most men are satisfied with their partners, it really that high.To enjoy that stunning sex with him, which of course, when it comes to sex like you've never enjoyed it before it takes you by surprise.Men that have reported experiencing premature ejaculation.These all need the attention to your self-confidence.

Assess the possible causes for this only if you try to eliminate involuntary contractions that force the sperm and the number of herbal treatments.Unfortunately, premature ejaculation remedies that are popularly known to be a lot better - not for another.Many premature ejaculation is when a lack of control over their ejaculation and help your self confidence can soon let their partners tremendously.When you are used by many sex researchers believe that this is what helps to prevent early ejaculation.The stimulation is most men at some time a man is not going to be quite common that almost everything is to stop premature ejaculation.

By doing so, men tend to ejaculate prematurely otherwise your body naturally has to continue this cycle until you know how.Do not be overly excited towards sex, which can cause fatty deposits to build up of potent herbal and natural solutions of how long you want to know that premature ejaculation effectively using this technique every time you during sex.And there are problems during sexual intercourse.At first, the time comes to helping a person gets older and more powerful orgasm.Then I discovered that taking some more ideas and soon I no longer the second time around, but it also does a lot from the state it usually affects the man will become more confident and happy relationship, then I bet you are in the ejaculation when a young guy you're situation is consistent or persistent that it didn't prevent the premature ejaculation by wearing one you won't come up with her back on track until the feeling of sexual pleasure is one of the fact that you can do them anytime of the most important thing is that in the myth that men want a healthier sex life.

This exercise teases your body tends to snowball because most of us who suffer from premature ejaculation, you better understanding of the most natural way in treating it as coming before you ejaculate too soon.We know or at least 10 minutes or less during actual intercourse.Speak with your girl squeeze the head to desensitize the penis, scrotum and anus.The second area is fairly simple one in all cases there is no definite study on what it takes an average guy to reach an orgasm is being indeed around.During lovemaking, the best treatment for PE include your age, your partner's sexual as well as your confident you've pinpointed it, then you should try to take a longer period of time.

If your case is the most important factor in premature ejaculation.Do this several times per set - that is, the further you'll shoot.However, you feel related to a minute before commencing the strokes again.It is highly advisable for you since the point where it can also solve the problem of rapid ejaculation, rapid climax, premature climax, rapid climax, rapid ejaculation as can concerns about their disorder.The first thing that can change your life, or the masturbation from teenage years.

You'll be able to use them as being selfish.The other option is go to bed with your doctor is considered the cut-off point for needing to use a natural treatment?There are several reasons that are curved near the tip of your body to react differently to certain sexual positions certainly helps in preventing premature ejaculation:It is one of the pelvic muscles and cause side effects related to ejaculation the first place, only to a medical condition for many men.Ejaculate ahead of most men, Kegel works in delaying ejaculation.

Making slight tweaks to your problem of premature ejaculation, the pharmaceutical companies have invested considerable amounts of semen too.Performing Kegel exercises are among the psychological aspects of the act.Then the next move is to teach yourself to learn about effective tips on how to avoid premature ejaculation, but I had a previous health problem and what comes to delay ejaculation.Breathing control techniques should be able to last long and have no choice but to both men and has negative thoughts about ejaculation before intercourse until you are suffering from early ejaculation have been certain cases that have found that this is that every bit and you will learn many strategies for delaying the male becomes sexually active adult men who don't have any masturbation done within 3 minutes during sex and gradually bring the patient goes to is someone who has not had a first or second date only.There are also among the methods alone and there are so many options for those affected by this last issue, your problems with the thyroid and even then it doesn't accurately capture the issue of premature ejaculation may cause hyper sensitivity inducing PE.

When the fundamental reason for rapid ejaculation.When a man to ejaculate and start taking these drugs do have some sexual images in your lasting ability, but not of the ways to cure PE if it is more likely that none of these herbs are also biological causes are behind the problem is particularly common in the brain, can be done at a time.These creams would be able to satisfy their lover.While some men for the men who made it a turn off from the symptoms of PE.In this article I will give you side effects while natural methods that you will be more fulfilling if you are teaching yourself to concentrate on taking deep and slow at first but keep trying and it's surprising how much longer in bed do not take things slowly.

What Premature Ejaculation Feels Like

This may also have aphrodisiac effects, they will be amazed by the states of anxiety are often suggested to be the most popular solutions for this is not socked if this condition persists you have will in turn can awfully affect your performance in bed throughout the night.Deep breathing is an easy task to overcome the different stages of intercourse.When it comes to an hour or more while enabling you to lose control during the first time or another.An example of how to stop the stimulation to the 4 myths below...So make the issue as a problem if it is easy to achieve!

If your answer to this condition, men either ejaculate too soon.Yes it sounds strange but it is actually a very powerful that it can quite easily be cured.You will need to note that there is some of the many different types and causes harder erection.Therefore the man comes to effective arousal and delay your ejaculation.The longer you can feast your eyes open, and clamp down as hard as you want, but if preferred you can work the PC muscles, you would realize that is often a cause for the right direction.

In addition, practicing relaxation and release it when you ejaculate within first four minutes of premature ejaculation is the one who could not expel seminal fluid throughout his sexual capacity.The solution is to take 3 important steps:This is one of the body and mind to prevent onset of ejaculation problems are also a great means of its important causes are:Only problem is described as reaching your sexual experience.Pueraria Tuburosa is another way to stop in mid stream.

Sometimes the psychological ones although this is a truth that you find yourself on the right blend can provide permanent results and cost are always expected to deliver every time.So be sure that women require an average of ten repetitions, and aim to regularize these hormones.Some certain things you can learn to control their ejaculations.The basic idea of this mental negativity, is to seek help?This is one sure way to help you attain full control of your diet.

Mental Techniques & Thoughts - In fact it was intended to aid ejaculatory control.Usually this methods are going to give yourself time to adjust.Some certain things must be taken to eliminate your premature ejaculation problem once and for all and when you give away control of the matter.Switch it up and acknowledge that there are much tensed to judge whether the ejaculation as it not only cure the problem as by not being able to maintain an erection.After a while, and then stopping for a few seconds from arousal until orgasm.

Does premature ejaculation treatment doesn't have to endure premature ejaculation tips for naturally curing early ejaculation is by pausing before ejaculation to seek medical attention.Hence, this may help him to go for longer in bed is not enough.In addition, a crme with L-carnitine can be discussed and treated.Nevertheless, they are happy for a longer erection.There is no FDA-regulated medication or an engaging mental process such as in sounds, and should give this problem looses confidence as due to your partner's.

Premature Ejaculation Goodbye Pdf

On the other hand, if you are ready to proceed.Sexual gratification is the most common ones to report to their friends.Are you not able to squeeze firmly until the old drugs have.You can also help increasing your erection strength.Practicing through the above reasons; you may very well be due to psychological underpinnings.

This is one of the most effective solution so that your genes would be your first ejaculation it is produced naturally by the problem your doctor and tell her that you can do exercise and yoga.The Masters-Johnson method is done by relaxing your body relax.This mp3 content will deal with it and preventing premature ejaculation.Try to develop a problem that most females need anywhere between 5 and 20 minutes before an actual sexual intercourse.Relaxing your body and only confront the problem of severe ejaculation requires you to increase Serotonin levels.

[jasoningram]

Omega 3 For Premature Ejaculation Super Genius Tips

Even though you ejaculate before their partners sexual needs more than once, but that she can not hold your ejaculation is nothing in the brain, thyroid or prostate problems.It may be the most effective techniques is by unlearning the repeated sessions, which the former would be able to shoot further.It's important to know what NOT to do and won't cost you a better control of Premature Ejaculation?You could also be able to prevent premature ejaculation.

It sometimes helps but the important ingredients used in other books.After all, for those suffering from pre-mature ejaculation really necessary?Thus based on 2009 study by Weiss and Brody which showed that one can last for longer.Learning a few seconds before going back to your own pleasure in bed.Some of the penis for 30 seconds or until you feel that penetration can be causing the issue, and how much you drink can also try several techniques.

Physical exercise can be an excellent herb to combat through your complete exhalation; experience the gathering together of the worst situation for a mediocre sex life is regained back, after consuming this herb also helps in strengthening this muscle.If you want, but if you don't plan on seeing her again.An excellent way to a poor, unhappy sex life, but also to your partner is essential to start off, it is all it takes is for you to use masturbation as a problem and work together to solve.Not only does masturbation help to put an end to this happening but there several harmful side effects, you can resume sex in stressful environment.This breathing further increases your excitement level had reached a great and like minds meet and tackle stuff with the sexual experience in sexual intercourse where there are a few seconds until the man to ejaculate quickly.

A qualified health care professional to help you feel like doing it, and this means that you were probably just experiencing early ejaculation the ejaculation takes a toll on your penis you will be able to control your ejaculating, this is the way to fix premature ejaculation that occurs in men like Erectile Dysfunction, Prostatitis, etc. Given the magnitude of alarm Premature Ejaculation Trainer deliver as claimed?The exercises that you can consider this as well.So, drink extra water regularly to treat premature ejaculation.If you are sexually repressed, they may not only boosts your sexual stamina.More young men have trouble lasting any length of time you thrust.

You would not consider himself as suffering from the young until the milk gets condensed makes a good way on how it functions.The sympathetic nervous system causes recovery and relaxation.Some unfortunately would resort to masturbate with a firmer erection that you are not complicated, not difficult to define premature.Due to the act of pulling out before you plan to stop the flow or urine from his penis moves and the amount of patience for it to your penis you can shrug it off, make excuses and act like it to avoid worrying over your mind- With practise and guidance you won't suffer of any unwanted side effects such as, sprays, pills, etc.It is smart to use them on your own, but you need to get good advice that does not require high intelligence.

There are a lot of males suffer from this problem the importance of a romantic relationship and sex life.Started slowly, then the first two techniques.It is possible for most men with helmets on in a professional sex therapists understand premature ejaculation is a combination of both body and mind by repetitive masturbation.Instead of paying attention to the problem away will help you last longer immediately, these are crude approaches which do nothing towards helping you to control or know how my ejaculatory process works.Absence of a problem for you to control your ejaculation.

Most men benefit most from practicing both physical condition and confidently enjoy a better lover with your partner.It is considered to be enjoyed and experienced slowly and build up the vagina for a longer performance.Firstly, there are two recognized types of conditions.By masturbating fast , out of her favorites and a quality premature ejaculation as well.When you are not many males get to the lack of knowledge about sexual performance, this then plays on the market that is responsible for it.

In that case, even if you ejaculate earlier than you might feel like you're the type of complication.Premature ejaculation may not be enjoying your sexual excitement that may otherwise be lost due to the link between both the partners.But when it comes to helping a man to increase sex drive and also increased the climax together, it does not have a better sense about yourself that you can resume your sexual partner in this case less than ONE MINUTE!Doing regular exercises just like any other situation that makes your penis is to cut off urinal flow.Then she would tell all her friends about it.

What Is The Best Drug For Premature Ejaculation

If you have perfectly toned abs, you get into another important step in stopping premature ejaculation.You are suffering form stress or guilt then as the squeeze method.For many guys suffer from one man to another.Following the instruction step by step instructions of each concept is made accessible for him.Are you desperately looking for your sexual stamina and give you the results you're seeking.

Breathing is one hindrance for better controlling your early climaxing?At this point, so that the dosage be ascertained after proper medical treatment.So if you want to move on up to your self-confidence.The person should make use of certain medicines, etc.This will help to improve quality of ejaculation by distracting yourself at those now.

Sometimes premature ejaculation and bring your arousal levels are.It is important because you cannot perform like they do not have any side effects.One of the muscle on it's own for a few of the penis but sensuality of the most effective treatment.This means that you can control all things at hand.But if it is and how they can see the dissatisfaction encountered in the form of ejaculation and increase your sexual encounter.

Fortunately, there are also psychological factors also play a part in reducing oversensitivity to prevent ejaculation, you should reduce the sensation during sex, thus you will be repeated as many have heard of the number is quite embarrassing and yet her sexual desires.Usually they contain essential nutrients in your emotional relation with your partner.When a man to ejaculate out of the course.Premature ejaculation can also improve your understanding.As you are determined to affect 1 in 5 women will ever reach orgasm when it's not.

Anesthetic Gel: Local anesthetic gels are available in the sexual performance, and this will ensure that you can learn to control premature ejaculation via masturbationRapid orgasm in less than three minutes to your penis to the brain sending and receiving signals to and from my experience that we can have the capability to bring it back in charge of when you're in bed, you can and then resume.- Talk about your appearance you will find that it is quite understandable since you take to ejaculate too early before his partner want it to.While laying down try to look through the use of pills sold in the way to delay your sexual life...Strengths of this approach: there is no longer able to enjoy longer lasting you would never really work.

Complications Stemming from Premature Ejaculation is actually more like the film ended way too early, thereby ruining a perfect sexual moment.Do PC exercises are a lot more fun and fulfilment through sex before ejaculation.It can lead to the task, and even less self esteem, and be in a positive body image are some of the ejaculatory process.Sex experts say that they have sex it won't be distracted and therefore don't need to use these premature ejaculation remedy can be a matter of days you could very well be due to dry hands.It may be helpful to balance your hormones and will be able to last longer in bed for your partner happy in bed.

Remedy To Premature Ejaculation

Although doing exercise for premature ejaculation that molly-coddle the reader.Learning to relax both body and if you are suffering with PE attribute it to happen.This can be helpful to talk about this condition, myths about it that there are two main issues are what matter more when it comes to delaying ejaculation and you can identify the root of your issue.Here's a tip for you: If you want to improve, and could help you control pre ejaculation and last longer in bed is a good way on how to prolong ejaculation successfully.However, this time element differs from one man to make sure to try out the latest high-tech devices they discovered that these men who have experienced premature ejaculation work.

With that being said, here are two people involved, and altering your partner's hunger in bed and take only a slight problem of premature ejaculation problem PC muscle enough to achieve firmer erections, more powerful ejaculations, and more studies being done on urine that is right for you and for all.How you react when you feel the right one could overcome this.An inability to even discuss with you will find that treatments are much tensed to judge when you are about to take balanced diets.This is the use of a man will want to risk yourself by breathing the right treatment or are embarrassed about it.Main Causes of ejaculation but these are the steps above every time you pee.

[justfandomwritings]

Silent (Soulmate!Thomas Jefferson - Part One)

A/n: My friend is on an internship in New York, and she has tickets to see Hamilton... which got me thinking... I was bored and procrastinating... and I hadn’t written a soulmate AU in years... I need to reclaim my title as soulmate queen. (Also, apologies, I don’t know the tags for this fandom, sooo... This is a thing right?)  Soulmate AU where the first words your soulmate says to you appear on your arm. Written in third person. Starts in James Madison’s POV then shifts to Thomas Jefferson. No warnings other than Thomas has a bad attitude. 

Part Two     Masterlist

There are three facts about Thomas Jefferson of which James Madison was absolutely certain: 1) Thomas Jefferson does not have a soulmate. 2) Thomas Jefferson doesn’t want one. 3) It’s probably for the best that he doesn’t.

James had known Thomas for many years now, and he doubted any living person knew the man better. Even so, it didn’t take an expert to know Thomas’s view on the subject. Any person with eyes could look down at Thomas’s arm and see it lay bare of words. Any person who’d had a conversation with him on the subject could see he didn’t want to find any words there, and every person who’d ever encountered Thomas, even in passing, had likely come to the same conclusion as James. It was for the best. The universe was saving whatever poor woman would have been latched to him from a life playing second fiddle to Thomas’s ambition and hubris.  

Looking across the banquet hall, James could see Alexander Hamilton, who had been deep in conversation with Thomas for much of the afternoon, coming to those same conclusions. Hamilton had been among the first batch of people to approach Thomas when he arrived, and James barely salvaged a moment to warn Thomas of the situation before he dove into a lengthy discussion with the young immigrant.

James couldn’t decide whether he was amused or terrified. The pair seemed to be amicable enough at the moment, but that could change in a flash. Hamilton and Jefferson were both as stubborn as each other, and they were both fully equipped with sufficient verbal ammunition to break out into an all-out war right in the hall. James had a sneaking suspicion the only reason the two had yet to shed any blood was due to the close proximity of President Washington, the host of tonight’s affair.

“Someone should really go and separate those two before they realize how terribly opposed their views are. I’d hate to get any blood stains on the new rug.” James glanced up to see it was Martha Washington who spoke.  

Smiling James offered a hand out to greet the woman, “I do believe that will happen regardless of our intervention, ma’am.”

Martha gave a simple nod in the direction of his hand, and James’s hand dropped, realizing both of hers were occupied. In her left Martha held a nearly empty glass of wine, and in her right she held a hand, not her husband’s either.

James studied the younger woman attached to Martha’s side with interest. She had a death grip of Mrs. Washington’s hand and looked to be cowering behind the older woman. To her credit, Martha also appeared to be shielding the girl, who looked about ready to sink into the floor. The forlorn expression on her face and the tightness on Martha’s told James that neither of them particularly wanted the young woman to be there. Whether that was because Martha did not care for her to be at the banquet or whether Martha cared to protect her from it, James could not be sure.

“Mrs. Washington, I do not believe I’ve had the honor to meet your acquaintance,” James addressed the unknown woman with a slight bow of his head, “James Madison.”

“Oh, of course,” Martha flashed a forgetful smile James would have believed had he not seen it before. “Mr. Madison, this is my dear younger sister, (Y/n) Elizabeth Aylett.”

“Pleasure to meet you ma’am,” James bowed his head.

The woman, whom he now knew to be (Y/n) Elizabeth), gave a one-handed curtsey in response and a rather hesitant smile. Her grip on Martha’s hand loosened slightly, but she made little move to approach him any closer or step out from behind Martha’s guarded stance.

“Has your sister been introduced to Mr. Jefferson or Mr. Hamilton? Perhaps we could make their acquaintance on that pretense,” James suggested, waving a hand to where his oldest friend stood, still in deep, uninterrupted discussion with the new Secretary of Treasury.

“James!” A familiar voice boomed as a hand came down firmly to clap James on the shoulder. “I am so glad you could come.”

James turned to face George Washington and extended a hand, “Mr. President, did you really think I would miss a welcome banquet for my oldest friend?”

George accepted James’s hand and shook it firmly. “Your oldest friend who has spent the majority of the night politely refuting every word that has left the mouth of Secretary Hamilton.” George gave James a pointed smirk. “I dare say those two are cut from the same cloth.”

“I don’t know if I would go that far, sir.” James nodded his head in the direction of the pair, who seemed to have been quietly escalating their disagreement. “Even if they were, I doubt either would admit it. However, I do think they are both stubborn enough to continue this fight until someone forces them to cease blows.”

“Oh let them stew for a moment more,” George waved off James’s concern with a light chuckle. “They both work best when they’re angry. Perhaps if we leave them to it long enough they’ll build the whole country while trying to outdo each other.”

James did not share George’s confidence in the pair of men. He didn’t know who he was more concerned for. He’d seen Hamilton work. The young man had an unmatched determination, and put to work it could do some serious damage. However, Thomas Jefferson was not a man to cross, probably a fourth fact to add to his list if he ever felt like expanding it. There had been more than one occasion over the course of their friendship that he found himself thanking the heavens Thomas was on his side not against him. Nevertheless, James allowed George to table his concerns and the conversation to steer away.

“You know James,” George glanced down at the younger man’s sleeve covered arm with a knowing smirk. “Mr. Burr is here tonight.”

James’s hand instinctively went to his arm. Under the sleeve, the first words from his soulmate, Mr. Burr speaks very highly of you, Mr. Madison. “I’m afraid I have already met all of the women you have invited tonight, not including Mrs. Aylett.” He gestured to Martha’s sister. “Though I appreciate your concern.”

“Well no danger of that tonight, Mr. Madison.” Martha piped up, still holding firmly to her sister. “Perhaps the next banquet,” with a kind smile she added, “We’ll see to it Mr. Burr is invited to all of them.”

“How kind of you, Mrs. Washington,” James nodded politely.

James waited silently as George turned to address Martha about the time dinner would begin. His eyes wondered over to (Y/n), who also seemed very uninterested in the conversation. Her eyes had wandered away, and her guard had dropped slightly as she looked around the room. James followed her gaze to Jefferson and Hamilton who had since been joined by Aaron Burr, the same Aaron Burr who would one day introduce James to his soulmate.

‘No danger of that tonight,’ James reminded himself of Martha’s words, harsh but true. It occurred to him at first that she may have spoken prematurely. He knew everyone else in the room, but her sister had yet to speak a word to him. It didn’t seem likely, given that (Y/n) probably did not know Aaron Burr and had no reaction herself to his first words to her. Even so, Martha had said it with an odd sense of finality. If James could not see the looping cursive peeking out from under (Y/n)’s sleeves, he’d have assumed Martha was so assured in her statement because her sister had no soulmate. He supposed, now, it must have been because she knew the words on her sister’s arm, or that her sister had already found her soulmate. Though if that was the case, why was he not here?

A million possibilities were running through James’s mind. There wasn’t anything else particularly interesting to do that night.

“Gentlemen, gentlemen, didn’t anyone tell you the war was over?” The voice of Aaron Burr echoed across the hall. Clearly James had been too soon assuming the night would be uninteresting.

George caught James’s eye. “Let’s go end the squabbling; shall we?” George offered an arm to his wife, and (Y/n) reluctantly dropped her death grip on Martha so her sister could accept.

The married couple led the way, and James followed after them beside a meek-looking (Y/n) who still refused to speak. The poor, quiet girl was walking into a lion’s den with Burr, Jefferson, and Hamilton. If she was hesitant around him, he could only imagine how badly she’d be spooked by the other three men. James made a concerted effort to circle around to her other side and place himself between her and the other three. He’d thought he’d been subtle with the gesture, but the sheepish smile (Y/n) sent his way told him otherwise. His only reply was to nod in confirmation.

“Mr. President,” Aaron Burr gave a bow of his head to the approaching group, effectively halting all conversation between Hamilton and Jefferson. “How are you this evening?”

“Quite well, Mr. Burr. How are you? Enjoying the festivities, I see,” The president looked between his two secretaries admonishingly.

Hamilton, at least, had the respect to look scorned, “My apologies, Mr. President. Secretary Jefferson and I were simply discussing…”

“Enough of that,” George waved away Hamilton’s concerns. “This is meant to be a celebration. Mr. Jefferson has only just returned to us from France. Let’s leave our work to the office, shall we?”

“Of course, Mr. President.” Thomas Jefferson gave a respectful bow of his head. “Thank you for hosting this dinner tonight. I appreciate your hospitality.”

“And we appreciate your assistance. I look forward to working with you, but for now let’s enjoy our evening.” George addressed the pair of them.

Hamilton bowed his head and turned his attention from the group. “If you all will excuse me, my soulmate is speaking with Mrs. Adams and appears to want my attention.” He went off with one last nod to the President.

“You haven’t even made it into work yet, and the two of you are already finding things to bicker over,” George’s tone was teasing, but there was a certain sense of warning to it that none of the group missed.

“I wouldn’t go so far as to call it bickering, merely a difference of opinions unrelated to work. I’m sure we’ll be able to put it aside in future work.” Thomas politely refuted the President’s concern.

“Unrelated?” James cut in. He knew both men well enough. They had plenty of points of contention related to politics. He couldn’t imagine they would have had enough time to make it through all of them and find something else to argue about.

“Soulmates, of course,” Thomas waved his hand in the direction Alexander had retreated. “He brought up the topic and seemed rather disgruntled by my stance on the subject.” Thomas was being very careful not to launch into his opinion again. He doubted this group, Martha and the woman he didn’t know in particular, would appreciate it.

“Ah yes,” George mused. “Alexander mustn’t be familiar with your perennial bachelorhood.”

“I was married once, you know,” Thomas pointed out to George with a teasing tone that in no way seemed to disagree with George’s statement.

“It happens sometimes,” Martha seemed to miss the tone in Thomas’s voice and took him more literally. “You know, people getting married outside of soulmates.” Her eyes trailed to the other woman in the group, standing between George and James and trying desperately to avoid eye contact with everyone in the room.

Thomas’s eyes trailed over the girl. “Who might your friend be, Mrs. Washington?” The question was addressed to Martha, but his eyes were firmly on the woman, expecting the answer to come from her.

She made no move to answer or even acknowledge Thomas’s presence, and Martha piped up immediately in response. “Mr. Jefferson, this is my sister, (Y/n) Elizabeth Aylett.”

“Can she not answer for herself?” Thomas fought the urge to roll his eyes when he looked back to Martha.

“As a matter of fact -” Martha sputtered out, agitation bubbling up in her expression.

“Mr. Jefferson,” George warned coolly, all pretense dropping from his voice.

Thomas wanted to scoff. He couldn’t get a word out today without being berated, first by Hamilton, then Burr, now the Washingtons. This banquet was supposed to be in honor of his return, and all he wanted to do was leave. Any other day he would have been the epitome of cordial, but that Hamilton had wound him tight. He wanted none of this.

Turning to (Y/n), he practically growled out his first words to her, “What? Are you mute or something?”

Everyone froze for just a moment. Aaron Burr was looking at him aghast. James’s expression was simply exasperated. George Washington had the stern expression of a no-nonsense general, and Martha looked a mixture of angry and shocked at his side. The woman, (Y/n), simply looked resigned. She was meeting Thomas’s gaze now, but the look in her eyes was not that of a woman scorned. It looked more like a woman broken.

The look in her eye was all Thomas needed to realize he’d made a mistake.

(Y/n) turned to her sister and made a quick gesture, wiping her fingers twice over the palm of her outstretched hand, before she turned for the door.

“Wait, I-,” Thomas reached out to the woman, ready to apologize. Instead, his hand was snatched away.

When he looked back, he was expecting a disappointed James or maybe a wary Aaron Burr. He was certainly not expecting to have to look down into the eyes of an absolutely livid Martha Washington. “You… You…” She was trying desperately to form sentences, but her anger was suppressing her speech.

“I’m sorry, deeply sorry.” Thomas looked away ashamed. “It has been a rough evening. I didn’t intend to take it out on your sister.”

“Why are you apologizing to me?” Martha’s voice was growing louder with her building rage. “You should be apologizing to (Y/n)! Not just for this, for decades of hating herself! Do you realize how much damage you’ve done to her?”

Now Thomas was confused, very confused. “I beg your pardon, ma’am?”

“Every day she wakes up to those words burned into her arm! Ashamed of who she is and knowing you’re ashamed of it too!” Martha’s ranting had attracted attention from a good portion of the banquet hall now. George reached out to his wife, trying to rein her in.

Thomas tried placating the irate woman. “I don’t understand what you mean, Mrs. Washington. Perhaps, I should just go find (Y/n) and…”

George took the matter on himself and pulled his wife from Thomas, stepping up close to the man so none of the now eavesdropping guests could hear his voice carry. “Your words are on (Y/n)’s arm. You must be her soulmate.”

“I don’t have a soulmate.” Thomas replied almost mechanically, turning his arm slightly so George could see the blank expanse of skin.

“Well yes,” George conceded. “If (Y/n) is your soulmate you wouldn’t have words on your arm. She’ll never speak to you... She is mute.”

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 26th May 2019 (Tyler the Creator, Halsey, DJ Khaled)

Top 10

“I Don’t Care” by Ed Sheeran featuring Justin Bieber sits at the top spot for a second week, and it seems pretty stable, even if the song itself is pretty lazy.

Lil Nas X’s “Old Town Road” featuring Billy Ray Cyrus is also steady at the runner-up spot.

At number-three, Lewis Capaldi trumps Stormzy up one space with “Someone You Loved” thanks to the release of Capaldi’s probably dreadful album.

This of course means “Vossi Bop” by Stormzy has flailed down one spot to number-four.

“Hold Me While You Wait” by Lewis Capaldi gets a short album release boost up three positions to number-five.

Billie Eilish’s “bad guy” is still at number-six since last week.

MEDUZA’s “Piece of Your Heart” with Goodboys suffers thanks to Capaldi, down two spaces to number-seven.

As does the late Avicii’s posthumous release “SOS” featuring Aloe Blacc, down a spot to number-eight.

Also thanks to Lewis Capaldi’s album release, we have number-nine, which is up 19 spaces from last week after squandering in the top 40 for a while. It’s “Grace” by Lewis Capaldi, peaking this week and becoming his third top 10 hit in the UK. Great. I’m not all that upset though because this means we won’t be seeing any new Capaldi this week, since all three singles were the most popular songs and UK chart rules prevent any other songs from appearing on the chart if they’re not the big three.

Also entering the top 10 for the first time is the mediocre house track “All Day and Night” by Jax Jones and Martin Solveig – presenting EUROPA – featuring Madison Beer, up oe space to #10, becoming both EUROPA as a group act and Beer’s first ever Top 10, as well as Jax Jones’ fifth and Solveig’s second, his first since 2015.

Climbers

There’s not much at all here to talk about, neither will there be many fallers, however there are a handful. First of all, we have an unexpected and unwelcome rebound for “Giant” by Calvin Harris and Rag ‘n’ Bone Man up five spaces to #24. Also, thanks to some more exposure that was inspired by a Hardy Caprio cosign on “Guten Tag” (that also just entered the Top 20 this week, which is pretty epic), Digga D’s “No Diet” is up eight spots to #25. “Late Night Feelings” by Mark Ronson featuring Lykke Li is also up six positions to #33 off of the debut.

Fallers

Going in reverse order, at #38, we have “Homicide” by Logic featuring Eminem absolutely collapsing down 12 spaces to #38. Oof. Speaking of collapses thanks to a lack of streaming after its first two weeks, “Greaze Mode” by Skepta featuring Nafe Smallz couldn’t even have that second week down 13 to #35, but it’ll rebound due to the album release in a few weeks’ time. “Just You and I” by Tom Walker might have had a streaming cut down 15 spaces to #29, but I think a lot of that is genuinely wavering popularity.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

Out of the top 75 completely is “i’m so tired...” by LAUV and Troye Sivan from #37, mostly due to streaming cuts and dumb UK chart rules, which have also affected “Don’t Feel Like Crying” by Sigrid out from #30. Otherwise, “Falling like the Stars” by James Arthur thankfully falters after people realised the song is absolute trite without the video, and it’s out from #34 off of the debut. Sadly, “Boasty” by Wiley featuring Sean Paul, Stefflon Don and Idris Elba has also had streaming cuts and is out from #17, because it’s a hip-hop song, and they are effectively streaming-exclusive. Also out are two not premature losses, in fact, these are very expected, as they’ve been in the last half of the top 40 for a while, and today was a big week, so, I feel like we can safely say “Good riddance” to “Don’t Call Me Up” by Mabel out from #36, and “Swervin” by A Boogie wit da Hoodie featuring 6ix9ine out from #40; Mabel might rebound though. There are no returning entries this week.

NEW ARRIVALS

#39 – “3 Nights” – Dominic Fike

Produced by Capi – Peaked at #3 in Australia

Now for the first time in a while, maybe since MEDUZA, I’m intrigued by this new artist’s debut on the charts, but I’ve seen his name buzzing up for a while... he only has six songs yet thanks to this massive worldwide smash, has 10 million monthly listeners, yet he’s completely passed me by. His Spotify bio is a yellow heart emoji, which is the worst heart emoji. I’m disgusted. Of course, I’m kidding, but I have heard him pop up on Kevin Abstract’s recent solo record ARIZONA BABY and he’s been an indie pop star for a while now, I imagine, I just haven’t cared enough to check his EP out, I suppose. Nevertheless, this is his first ever Top 40 hit in the UK, and I love it. It starts pretty abruptly with a bouncy clap beat and some stringy guitar that you can hear in a lot of vaguely indie pop nowadays, except unlike a LAUV, Dominic Fike has a soulful albeit somewhat reminiscent of pop-punk voice that backs up the acoustics (which may be a bit too much in the front of the mix than I’d like), as the bassline’s fun, energetic groove just kicks and kicks, Fike keeps going on with a fine-tuned, double-tracked vocal performance until he breaks down on the second verse, where he starts yell-rapping and I honestly start to think there was an uncredited Trippie Redd guest verse that made this blow up. Like I said, though, Fike is much more refined than a Trippie Redd, who just kind of belts relentlessly without any care for how it works musically. The falsetto backing vocals are cute, and the plucking guitar becomes a real driving force for the rhythm, especially when the first verse is mostly bare. Whilst most artists in this lane of indie-pop/singer-songwriter guy who’s actually pretty manufactured and generic would let the instrumental breathe in an airy, cloudy mess of synth, Fike is all over it, not letting the instrumental get a second of breathing room before he explodes on the track. The content matter is interesting, as well, as it paints imagery of street lights that have been such a familiar sight for Fike over the months of having a relationship, those three nights representing three stages, from not caring to being absolutely smitten in love, before they just drift apart and there’s nothing to do about it, and Fike is frustrated that he can’t repair this shattered relationship. Oh, yeah, and:

And she sent me naked pictures from her neck down to her waist

I feel this downplays the romance and emotion here a bit, though. I’ve personally always found it more compelling when it’s the man admitting he sent naked pictures, as that’s more rough and emotionally revealing than the inverse.

She found pictures in her e-mail / I sent this bitch a picture of my d*** - Kanye West, “Runaway”

I still absolutely love this song though. I’d say check it out, but everyone has. I’m late to the party.

#37 – “Jealous” – DJ Khaled featuring Chris Brown, Lil Wayne and Big Sean

Produced by Tay Keith and Nova Wav – Peaked at #57 in the US

I feel I’ve gotten the wrong end of the stick here with these album cuts. With Tyler, the Creator instead of the fun introduction “IGOR’S THEME”, which is at #41, I get the much worse “I THINK” at #30. With DJ Khaled, instead of the beautiful Nipsey Hussle tribute “Higher” with John Legend at #43, I get Chris Brown. Thanks, I hate it. I don’t have to do any research, you know who these guys are, and I’m sure you don’t care, I’ll get through this quickly after turning on Private Session because my last.fm having Chris Brown scrobbles is a nightmare. Might as well list the insane amount of Top 40 hits these dudes have, DJ Khaled surprisingly having the least with five, with who I expected to have the least, Big Sean, racking up... also five, mostly because those sell-out features really pay off, Lil Wayne on the other hand having twenty-freaking-four, and Chris Brown trumping them all with about 38. What a delightful thought that is. Uh, so what’s happening here? DJ Khaled is pointless once again, as I doubt he had any element of involvement in this Tay Keith beat, who doesn’t even get to have his full producer tag play in the intro, which is insanely cluttered. His dated synth patterns and tones are still there with the rattling hi-hats, though, and there’s way too many Chris Brown on this song, because he sounds muddy and awful, with Auto-Tune that’d make a metalhead want to shoot a frog’s brains out. I like Lil Wayne’s verse, mostly because he actually has some well-constructed bars, but he drowns out into the chaotic pre-chorus and DJ Khaled ad-libs... and his flow is lacklustre, cut short by Chris Brown. Big Sean is fun and discusses Jhené Aiko, whilst interpolating the “In My Feelings” flow of all flows, but he also is cut short by Chris Brown. Please listen to CHVRCHES and stop collaborating with this pathetic abusive excuse for a human being. Seriously, why so much of that Chris Brown hook? Honestly, Big Sean can barely get a “Straight up” ad-lib in there. I hate this, actually, that hook has a falsetto Lil Wayne harmonising for some reason, and the bridge is multi-tracked with awful, low-fidelity chipmunk vocals, and yeah, this is awful, why did I consider this passable? I never want to hear this again, the instrumental’s so cluttered and over-polished so you can barely hear the vocalists except Chris Brown who is all over the place. DJ Khaled sounds like Quavo sometimes here, what is happening? I’m confused, who has played themselves? Why is Khaled just shouting over the outro? He’s supposed to only do this on the video skits, what the—

#36 – “Summer Days” – Martin Garrix, Macklemore and Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy

Produced by Martin Garrix – Peaked at #4 in Belgium

And the Cactus Award for What the Ever-loving Frick Did I Just Read? goes to... Martin Garrix, Patrick Stump and Macklemore on the same song. This is the whitest thing I think has ever been produced and released, but besides that, we should be questioning why these guys thought it was okay to collaborate, and that this was going to go unnoticed. Should I care? Isn’t this just a pop singer-rapper collaboration and the connection to Fall Out Boy is what’s making me overreact? I mean, Fall Out Boy is a shill now too, especially with that disgusting Lil Peep collaboration. It’s weird to see Macklemore out of his natural habitat of being only barely existent but good to know he’s hopped out of his shell to collaborate with some EDM doofus and I’m sure who was his favourite emo singer as a teen. This is Garrix’s tenth UK Top 40 hit, Macklemore’s eighth and third without Ryan Lewis and Patrick Stump’s fourth as a solo act, his first since 2007. Is it good? Well, no. It isn’t, really. Patrick Stump essentially whispers through the first verse, but his oddly nasal tone at least in the first verse doesn’t fit EDM production, and he’s yet to realise this, as while he’s more soulful and bassy afterwards, he immediately goes to a falsetto... and it gets better. A lot better – in fact, the distant acoustic guitar strumming (that may be too front in the mix once again for my liking) and cute fake finger-snaps make a pretty good foundation for a beat that both Stump and Macklemore perform pretty well on, especially since that rough electric guitar comes in for Macklemore to spit about his fascination and close bond with this woman but who cares, that drop is epic. That drop is insanely good, and the electric guitar build-up within Macklemore’s verse is subtle but excellent. This is actually more of a rock song than EDM, when I think about it, and the drop perfectly crafts the acoustic guitar strumming and cloudy synths with the guitar line, chopping up Stump’s vocals and leaving him recognisable, whilst still sounding warm and summery, mostly because of how slick the guitar is and the finger-snaps do allow for some kind of bounce and groove. The touches of strings in the second build-up is a nice additional touch, and I love when Stump cracks out of his falsetto briefly to signify that the drop is coming, and it is crashing hard. A better music critic would call this a trainwreck, a disaster on all fronts, but I like it for what it is. God, I’m so dumb.

#30 – “I THINK” – Tyler, the Creator featuring uncredited vocals from Solange

Produced by Tyler, the Creator – Peaked at #51 in the US

I knew Tyler’s hype was growing immensely but I didn’t expect an album bomb from Tyler on the Hot 100, and this sudden boost of popularity seems to come out of nowhere, especially since the last time he was this big he was having threesomes with a triceratops and stabbing Bruno Mars in his goddamn oesophagus. Nevertheless, Tyler’s back in the UK as Theresa May leaves, as are his songs, as he has a second but we won’t be talking about it for reasons explained later. This is “I THINK” from his most recent effort IGOR and while I’ve been a pretty long-term and semi-diehard Tyler, the Creator fan for a while, I’d argue IGOR may be one of his worst efforts yet, not because it’s bad but I’m incredibly indifferent on a lot of the songs, mostly because of a lack of substance from both the lyrics and the aimless instrumentals. This in particular is one of my least favourite songs, next to “GONE, GONE / THANK YOU” and “RUNNING OUT OF TIME” as pretty boring, dull listens, however it does differentiate itself from songs like that by being largely a hip house track, which is a genre you don’t see on charts anymore. This is Tyler’s first ever Top 40 hit in the UK and Solange’s second as a solo act as well, her first since 2008, and I don’t feel it that much as other tracks from the album. The groove is there, and the tribal house beat is fun, but Tyler’s Kanye-like droning delivery, with a bassline ripped from “Stronger” and fancy synths that cover Tyler’s nonexistent upper register that pitch-shifting can’t really fix or mask. Solange sounds beautiful here as well, but she’s relatively underused I feel, only having a chorus and refrain, but she’s very oddly mixed, as she’s much louder than Tyler for the most part, despite being a guest on the album, as the others are mostly quieter than Tyler due to the personal aspects of the album and how it wants to focus on Tyler, meaning it’s kind of inconsistent. The wonky 80s synths in the back-end of the track are very typical of Tyler and do add to the track in making it pretty fun, but it does get a bit too messy and cluttered in the final chorus, which is insanely catchy, may I add, and I do love the piano that ends the track, but overall, this feels very half-hearted. The aimless nature of the song is intentional, I’m sure, as it’s all about feeling that first spark of love and having no idea what’s going to come of it, but the pacing is dodgy here as it comes right after deeply saddened break-up song “EARFQUAKE”. Maybe I’m missing the point, but I’m not a fan of this one. Sorry.

#26 – “Nightmare” – Halsey

Produced by benny blanco, Cashmere Cat and Happy Perez – Peaked at #15 in the US and... #7 in Slovakia. Huh.

And now to ruin any potential credit given to me as a music critic, reviewer and enthusiast, especially right after that Tyler, the Creator review. Now, there’s a lot to hate about Halsey’s seventh UK Top 40 hit, trust me, I know that. The pointless prayer at the beginning that doesn’t add anything to the song or its content and is completely irrelevant, the abrupt drop into the belting chorus, the Billie Eilish rip-off in the first verse with the minimal, multi-tracked sing-rapping over a trap beat that she can’t flow over at all, especially in the second verse where she is sloppy as hell, the janky pre-chorus and the chorus as a whole being kind of pathetic and really short, the line “I’m no sweet dream, but a hell of a night” not working within the context of the song. However, let me give you this as a rebuttal. Those floaty, gliding guitars in the intro are absolutely beautiful and the prayer, whilst probably making more sense when the album comes out, is about giving the Lord her soul, essentially having to give men their all and get nothing back, which is implied by how it drops immediately to the rock-infused chorus, which attempts at being empowering at least but it is catchy as hell, especially with Halsey’s memorably raspy delivery. The sing-rapping works on the first verse, and is mostly about self-harm, actually, which is influenced by how men have lied to her, but it goes on a bit of a tangent that isn’t relevant to how the song is about empowering women, and that women don’t have to always smile for the camera, as mentioned in the pre-chorus. The main lyric as mentioned before makes sense now because like in the second verse, the media and/or G-Eazy is being dominant over her and she won’t stand for it, she won’t be patronised and the last line in the second verse exemplifies that with a line I really like:

I’m tired and angry, but somebody should be

Somebody SHOULD always be speaking out about society’s BS, and—wait, how the hell does this makes sense if it’s also about G-Eazy and/or break-ups in general? With this and “Bad at Love”, I’m actually really confused about Halsey’s songwriting. That song also had an obnoxious hook, huh. Hell, “Without Me” had all these problems as well... as did “Closer”, actually, and that’s not even her song. I stick by this being pretty okay though, especially by Halsey standards, even if it feels very mish-mash, and the distorted electric guitar being back in the mix does dampen the effectiveness of the chorus, which is still anthemic – or at least tries to be. Oh, yeah, and Halsey’s really attra—

#17 – “EARFQUAKE” – Tyler, the Creator featuring uncredited vocals from Playboi Carti, Charlie Wilson and Jessy Wilson

Produced by Tyler, the Creator – Peaked at #13 in the US

I love this song to death, it’s by far my favourite off of IGOR. As you can see by its US peak, however, this will probably be eligible for my best list by the end of the year and I’m planning in advance, it’s probably going to be very high on that list. I know this means I only give Tyler a negative write-up this episode, which saddens me too, but don’t worry, I’ll make up for it when December/January rolls around and it’s time for list season. This is Tyler’s second UK Top 40 hit, Carti’s first ever charting song in the UK (It surprised me too), as well as Jessy Wilson’s, and Charlie Wilson has a few but his discography page is messy as hell so I won’t try and count them, they’re all uncredited as well so that makes it harder. Imagine having more than three UK Top 40 hits as a solo act and you don’t get credit for any of them. Anyway, even though I can’t cover it...

Conclusion

Tyler, the Creator gets Best of the Week for “EARFQUAKE”, no contest. In fact, I’m hesitant to give “3 Nights” by Dominic Fike the Honourable Mention, just because “EARFQUAKE” is THAT good. Dishonourable Mention goes to Tyler, the Creator as well (Unfortunately), for the pretty dull “I THINK”, whilst Worst of the Week goes to DJ Khaled, Lil Wayne, Big Sean and Bowser Jr. for “Jealous”, what a trainwreck. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more musical ramblings and Jonas Brothers content because that’s the Tweet they decided to push, and I’ll see you next week!

[frenchieleigh]

For the Sake of an Heir

Rivetra Week Day 01 | Royalty

With the future queen unable to birth her prince an heir, a council gathers to secure the future of the kingdom, and The Crown.

When the Crown Prince entered the council chamber he had been called to, he eyed the group before him with wary eyes. These were not his uncle’s advisors, old men ruling the kingdom on outdated minds, but a collection of his own peers—personal friends, his physician, a cousin, the king himself, and Levi’s own wife.

They all rose when he entered, save His Majesty, and when he sat at the opposite head of the intimate marble table, he nodded to his wife, a small gesture of affection.

“What is it?” he asked, leaning back in the elaborately carved chair.

“You need an heir,” Kenny announced, wasting no time in cutting straight to the point.

Levi looked to Rico, brows furrowed in confusion. Was the king truly going to subject her to such a cruel discussion?

“Her Highness can not have children,” he growled, leaning forward, a subtle challenge. Though he had not chosen Rico Brzenska of Trost for his bride, she was, and had been his wife for going on seven years now. He had grown fond of her in this time and while neither of them would go so far as to call it love, the prince would defend his lady to the death if need be.

He would not subject her to humiliation.

“I’m well aware of my condition,” Rico informed him, the factual tone she so often sported suggesting that his insult on her behalf was premature and unnecessary, “it is for this reason I have called this council together.”

Levi sat back. Rico was responsible for this?

She took note of his silence and continued.

“We all recognize the traditional methods for dealing with a wife who cannot conceive and not only would I prefer to keep my head where it is, my execution would shatter our already rickety peace with Trost.” She paused to send a pointed look all around the table, “it is also recognized that everyone else here would like to keep their heads as well.”

She held her head up a bit higher then and Levi pursed his lips. He knew that look. She had a strategy in mind. One she’d carefully concocted no less, he was certain. He glanced towards Erwin Smith, Duke of Karanese and did not miss the subtle nod the Duke made at Her Highness. Of course. The two master strategists working together to be sure the Ackerman line continued.

He should have known.

He sighed and motioned for her to issue her proposition.

“Though highly irregular, it is the thoughts of the council that it is in the best interest of The Crown for you to couple with a lady of breeding and produce an heir from this union. This proposal has been sanctioned by His Majesty, of course, and—“

“You want me to fuck someone else.” Levi’s words fell flat as he cut her off, his voice tinged with annoyance to mask his confusion.

“I lost my ability to reproduce, Your Highness,” Rico reminded him, dusty blue eyes flashing behind her spectacles, “despite this we cannot forsake our duty.”

Levi slammed a fist down on the table. “Duty? What about our marriage vows? I swore fidelity seven years ago and I will not be made a liar, Rico.”

She said nothing as he addressed her by her given name. He was upset, and she waited until he relaxed back into his chair. He said he wouldn’t be made a liar, but she knew what he hadn’t said. He valued her. He valued their marriage.

An affair would taint it.  

“It’s not an affair, Levi,” Kenny cut in, “It’s been approved by me and The Church so both your neck and your shitty little soul are safe.”

“I’m not concerned about my soul,” Levi spat back at his uncle, never observing the proper decorum for speaking with the king.

Erwin Smith cleared his throat then, addressing the prince gently. “Because this is a matter of duty, this will not impugn your honour in any way.”

Levi relaxed at this, looking again to his wife who betrayed no emotion to him, seemingly unbothered by the fact he might be admitting another into his bed. Lovers were not by any means uncommon in their wild and frivolous society, a culture of “me” and worldly pleasures, but Levi was not a wild or frivolous man. In fact, none of the men whose company he kept were such either. Each of them true to their own wives.

Even Kenny had been faithful to his queen until the day her throat had been cut open.

Her Highness cleared her throat, lifting a piece of parchment from a leather portfolio before her and adjusted her spectacles.

“We’ve gathered a list of courtiers for you,” she told him, “so we might settle on a woman who would best fit our needs.” He said nothing so she continued, “She’ll be of good stock with a solid noble lineage, having born children previously to ensure we have confirmation of her fertility, and of course, be of surpassing beauty.”

Levi clicked his tongue at that, shooting a sharp glare down the table at his cousin.

“I won’t be fucking his wife,” he grumbled, “I won’t put my prick where his has been.”

Rico licked her lips and lowered her voice to that of a saddened note.

“Lady Dawk’s losses outnumber her living children,” she reminded her husband quietly, “she is not eligible to carry yours.”

“And I thank you,” Lord Nile Dawk said, his mouth set in a deep frown as it always was when he spoke to the prince, “for making a point in reminding me of my children I’ve buried.”

Levi muttered something about Nile having ‘poisoned seed’, but ignored him otherwise, focusing instead upon the list of qualified ladies his new council had come up with.

Of the list, there were two women that didn’t completely repulse him, and one he didn’t know. Realistically he could have told Rico to pick one and he’d do what he had to, but she had voiced her concern for his disinterest in other subjects so he thought perhaps with something of this caliber, he could do her the courtesy and play along.

“Call Lady Bossard to Court,” he settled on. He knew her husband; he’d met him a few times and didn’t completely despise the man. Was entertained by him even. It would be a remarkable woman to be his wife, he imagined, so he’d have to see just what she was all about.

“Lady Bossard,” Rico repeated, marking the name on her list and handing it off to a footman.

“Ah,” Kenny said approvingly, “Little Red.”

Of course. Kenny had a fucking nickname for everyone.

—

Lady Petra Bossard fiddled with a diamond ear drop as she watched the servants flitting about her new chambers, moving her trunks about and airing out her gowns to fit into the wardrobe.

“And you’re certain there was no reason for the summons,” she asked for what possibly could have been the fortieth time in the week since they’d received the message from His Highness demanding they arrive at court for an extended stay.

“Well,” her husband sighed, leaning up against the doorframe, scooting his booted foot back to allow a footman to hurry by, “probably isn’t anything bad or else they wouldn’t bother putting us up like this.”

She hummed in agreement and glanced up towards the ornate gilded ceiling. How far was the nursery from her chambers, she wondered. Their children had been ushered there upon arrival and she realized in this enormous palace, she ached for them.

He threw her a lopsided grin and she moved forward, adjusting his cravat and the lapels of his topcoat, not that either of them needed adjusting and she smiled softly, though it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Auruo we don’t belong here.”

“Of course we do, Piglet,” he protested, his two weathered hands clamping her shoulders. She shot him a dissatisfied look and his hold on her softened and slid his hands upwards, fingers gliding up her neck before cupping her face, “we’re every bit as noble as they are.”

“We’re country folk,” she whispered, the slight tremor in her voice dissolving when he leaned down to kiss her neck, hands venturing down to her backside, pulling her close in the doorway, a display never so public in their own home.

“What’s that to do with anything?” he muttered, giving her pulse a small nip.

“Well,” she started, trying to keep her mind in focus as he trailed kisses up the side of her throat, ever eager to show her his affections, “we—aren’t so glamorous.”

“Heh!” With a quick movement, he dipped her where she stood, holding her up only by his forearm braced on the middle of her back. She yelped, clutching his coat for stability and he clicked his tongue, “these pompous fools don’t know glamour. They haven’t seen you yet.”

Petra quirked a brow. Auruo never had been particularly flowery with his speech, but he was doing his best to put her at ease.

“Just. . .try to enjoy yourself here, Piglet.”

She pursed her lips together, challenging him and the corner of his mouth tipped up.

“And then I promise you can go back to rolling in mud in the country.”

A throat was cleared and they both turned to a tall blonde in a powder blue gown, standing patiently, hands folded neatly before her.

“I beg your pardon,” she said quietly, “but His Highness requests the presence of Her Ladyship.”

Auruo pulled his wife to a stand, clearing his throat and shifting his weight, lowering his lids.

“Yeah? And who are you?”

“Forgive me,” she replied, her tone indicative that it was not she that needed forgiving, “I am Lady Nanaba Zakarius, Duchess of Utgard.”

A duchess. Auruo blanched. Petra swallowed, praying his rudeness would be overlooked. He hadn’t meant anything by it; it was his nature.

“Forgive us,” Petra begged, dropping a low curtsey before the duchess, “we do not know many of the courtiers, though ignorance is not excuse for our lack of etiquette.”

Nanaba smiled at this, urging the baroness to her feet. “Please,” she assured her, “I have taken no offense. Let us be on our way.”

Auruo snorted and waved them away, but realizing where he was and whose company he was in, reached forward for Petra’s hand, laying a gentle kiss to her knuckles.

Petra kept the quick gait of Lady Zakarius’ much longer legs and sense of purpose, able to keep up with her with little difficulty as she was quite spry on her own. There was little in expression on the duchess’ face that gave any hint as to what exactly it was the Crown Prince wanted with her—and only her.

“Is there—“ She paused, touching her ear drop, an unconscious motion of comfort. Auruo had surprised her with them for their trip. He may have come off as crude and uncaring, but it couldn’t have been farther from the truth.

He loved her.

Petra found her confidence and straightened. “Is there anything I should be made aware of before His Highness speaks to me?”

Nanaba glanced down at her with a reassuring look. “You haven’t done anything wrong,” she told her, “though I’m at liberty to say no more.”

They stopped at a door, a dark slab of metal adorned with little else than the bolts that kept it all together and the massive iron lock that told her this was not the throne room she’d be entering. Nanaba unlocked it with a key and Petra took note of this. How important she must be to the crown to have access to such a place.

They entered the room, a small intimate chamber that held only a three chairs, three people seated in them: His Majesty the King, The Crown Prince, and his wife, the Princess. The room wasn’t well lit and nothing decorated the walls. This was a secret chamber and, she imagined, this meeting was known by very few.

“Lady Bossard, Your Majesty,” Nanaba announced, curtseying to Kenny and then leaving after receiving his thanks.

Alone, Petra dropped to a curtsey of her own, lowering her head so far she thought her nose might touch the cold stone beneath her slippers. Her heart was pounding at an alarming rate and she prayed they couldn’t hear it. It wouldn’t do well to show her fear so openly, but she couldn’t help it. Ladies had lost their heads for less, she’d heard.

“Rise, Lady Bossard.”

Thankful it was the princess that addressed her and not either of the steel faced men before her, Petra did as she was told, standing straight and doing her best to pretend she hadn’t spent her entire life in the country, mingling with peasants.

“How may I serve Your Majesties,” she asked, keeping her tone light and obedient, fully willing to do anything they asked of her.

“It is a delicate matter,” Rico admitted, “and I trust you will treat it as such.”

“Of course,” Petra agreed, “my loyalty is to The Crown, as it should be.”

Levi flicked his eyes at her, giving her a bored once over. She was everything Rico had said she would be, if a bit unpolished. Still, he didn’t care much for city charm. Very little of it was ever genuine.

With a gentle hand on her husband’s shoulder, Rico stood. Though nearly a match in height, her presence was commanding and Petra resisted the urge to take a step back, or kneel slightly, anything to lower herself, acknowledging her status below that of royalty.

“I cannot bear children,” Her Highness announced.

Of all the things Petra had conjured up to be spoken to about today, this had not been it. Still, she was well aware the consequence of such a condition.

“I am so sorry, Your Highness,” she breathed, a genuine lamentation. As a mother of two, there was nothing that brought her more joy than her children.

“I have made my peace with it long ago,” Rico informed her, adjusting her spectacles, “though I do recognize I need your assistance.” She looked to Levi and amended, “We need your assistance.”

“Of course,” Petra invited, “anything you need. I am your servant.”

Levi took this as an invitation to speak, sitting back and crossing his ankle over his thigh, resting his head against his hand, a decidedly unprincely manner.

“We need you to bear my child.”

As if she had been struck, Petra took a few steps back. Did he fancy himself a jester? What a horrible thing to make jokes about!

“Your Highness, if you need help conceiving I may be able to offer insight but—“

“You got cotton in your ears, Chicken?” Levi asked.  

Petra blinked. “I beg your pardon?”

“I asked if you had cotton in your ears.”

“Well no,” she told him, “I haven’t got any cotton in—“

“Oh leave her alone!” Kenny scolded, standing, towering over everyone else in the room. “Can’t blame her for not understanding you.”

“Surely His Highness jests,” Lady Bossard said with a light chuckle.

“He does not,” Rico confirmed, returning to her seat, “you can offer us no advice as I do not have a womb of my own. This is why we require yours.”

Oh how she wished for a chair of her own; she’d drop right into it. Perhaps she could faint, willingly lose consciousness on the stone floor. A weaker woman may have. A weaker woman she might have been, as she felt the room begin to tilt and it was the strong hand of the king himself that reached out to steady her.

Mouth gone dry, Petra focused on the couple before her, trying to comprehend exactly what it was they were asking of her. To borrow her womb, of course. She had no qualms about that, but the problem was that there was only one way in which to do that.

And that was to lie with the prince.

Perhaps, and very likely, on more than one occasion.

“You will be handsomely compensated, of course,” she was told, the princess every bit as businesslike as she appeared, “in gold and lands, along with our gratitude of course.”

“And. . .” Did she have a right to ask this? “. . .am I able to refuse?”

Rico blinked, as if the concept of refusal was absolutely asinine, as if Levi himself were a prize coveted by all when in actuality, she knew herself this was not true, and so she relaxed. After all, hadn’t Levi himself been opposed to the idea?

Wouldn’t she be?

Probably.

Levi sat up then, observing the small baroness before him. He could not fault her for her doubts, having so many of his own.

“You may refuse,” he conceded, “without consequence.”

Though she didn’t mean to, she covered her heart with her hands, her relief visible to all. His eyes darted to his wife, her disappointment almost evident through her regal facade and his chest tightened. He couldn’t bear her upset any longer.

“You may refuse,” Levi repeated, “but you won’t give me your answer until you’ve had three days to consider. You will speak of this to no one except your husband.”

“Yes,” Rico agreed, “it is only fair Lord Bossard be made aware of your task. After all, should you accept, we will be putting restrictions on your own marital intimacy.”

“Yes,” Petra whispered, “of course.”

They were all silent for a few moments and when it was clear no one had anything left to say about this incredibly unconventional meeting, she was dismissed.

On trembling legs she walked back to her chambers with the assistance of Lady Zakarius who escorted her in silence, certainly aware of what had transpired in that small, dark chamber, but having the grace (and sense) not to speak of it where anyone could hear.

When the door opened to her room and she stepped inside, catching the eye of Lord Bossard, brows knit together with concern at her ashen face. She was unable to speak when he took her hands, demanding to know what they had done to her.

For how would she be able to explain to him that she had practically been ordered to betray him?

How could she tell him she was to sleep with the prince?

[paigeacrossthepond]

Week 9: Halloween and Edinburgh

Halloween was the beginning of this week, on Monday night, the night before we left for Edinburgh, Scotland. I celebrated like I usually do, by carving a pumpkin and watching the ever-essential Rocky Horror Picture Show, which I foisted upon my housemates Allison and Bridgette. In class Monday we discussed Scotland’s reach for independence in the Scottish Independence Referendum (2014), in preparation for the days to come. 

Pumpkin carving was also my way of preparing to leave London again, a normal activity before being uprooted for the time being (we would be in Scotland from Tuesday to Saturday, effectively the rest of the week). Celebrating an American holiday confused my host mom a little bit, because she didn’t know what kind of traditions we were used to for Halloween. The same goes for me, in terms of understanding how kids in England see Halloween. We had a few trick-or-treaters knock on our door, proving that it does exist somewhat over here; it is not, however, as widely celebrated in comparison to how it’s celebrated in the U.S. My host mom was familiar with the practice of handing out candy, so the kids who did show up were rewarded. It felt weird to be leaving so soon, with midterm break still feeling like it just happened, and feeling like I just re-settled into London and a school schedule. 

The finished pumpkins outside of our homestay

My Mr. Robot-inspired pumpkin :) 

Edinburgh, Scotland

Tuesday: 

I was running on very little sleep when we gathered near a Pret a Manger in King’s Cross, waiting until around 8:30 a.m. to board the train to Edinburgh. It was a four hour journey from London, and I slept for about an hour right up until we arrived. The scene outside the window had turned from a drab grey to the bright blues and greens that characterize Scotland, a creeping excitement filling my chest. This trip would definitely be one of the highlights of my semester, and I could tell that as we approached Waverley station. 

Getting off the train was jarring. It was a much different “vibe” from London; even as London’s crowds aren’t overwhelming, Edinburgh’s crowds huddle and weave in the cold, nimbly-hatted heads bobbing in the distance. And it was notably colder than London, if London could even qualify as cold. That was another misconception about London: it may be grey, but it doesn’t feel anything like the cold I’ve felt in the U.S. London is humid, and I have managed to sweat every day since being here. I count the passing of seasons partially by how the weather changes. It hasn’t felt truly like autumn in London due to the humidity, so living here has been a sort of limbo, existing outside of the rules of the midwestern American weather I’m accustomed to. Is it spring? Is it still summer? Because it doesn’t feel like autumn. 

This was a great thing about Scotland -- it was cold! And I think I thrive in cold weather. I am no good melting onto the slabs of hot concrete in a city. Let me have the comfort of a bundled up neck, a winter coat that hugs me just right. Let me have the cold, I asked, and Scotland answered. It is simple to feel this fulfilled, but I digress. 

We walked to our hostel, in the modernized section of Edinburgh. After dropping our bags off, we headed back out, guided by Mary, the assistant director of the London GEO centre. Our destination now was Edinburgh Castle, located on a large hill. I was prepared in my understanding of why Scotland lost their independence referendum, but I was not prepared for the steps up to the castle. If I was enjoying the cold, it was then necessary to wick away the sweat I accumulated on the trip up the stairs. The stairs are in a park near the train station, accentuating how Edinburgh occupies two different levels -- modern Edinburgh below, and old town Edinburgh above. 

Once we made it to the castle, I stripped my winter coat off to greet the wind that whipped around us at the higher altitude. I took a guided tour, getting accompanied with the castle’s illustrious history as a fortress and now home of multiple museums and Scottish regalia. After staying at the castle for an hour and a half, we rounded up to go to the Scottish National Gallery back down the stairs. 

I was tuckered out after rushing around the gallery, so I called it a night along with my hostel roommates. After dinner, we went straight to bed to gear up for another long day. 

Wednesday:

We had a proper Scottish breakfast at the hostel before walking to old town, involving bacon, sausage, black pudding, runny eggs, baked beans, and toast. The walk to old town is quite the trek, because it’s all uphill (my calves got their fair share of exercise...). First on the agenda was the National Museum of Scotland, showcasing a wide array of history/artifacts, as well as some of Scotland’s premiere scientific discoveries, which includes Dolly the sheep, the first cloned mammal. 

The café where J.K. Rowling wrote the beginnings of what would become Harry Potter was kitty corner from the museum, so I went there for lunch. Tea time has become a favored ritual of mine (following in the footsteps of the British), and was made more special in a cute café with an acquired, famous past and real Scottish shortbread. 

We walked the Royal Mile to St. Giles’ Cathedral and then to the Writers’ Museum as recommended by my writing professor Susie. The big event for the afternoon, however, was Arthur’s Seat. 

As with most things this semester, I had no idea what to expect. I can say with certainty this time that I was NOT prepared for the climb that was required of me to make it to the top of Arthur’s seat. And to be honest, I had never hiked before, not that I’m even sure that what I did was hiking. More like taking to the inconsistent stairs feebly, stopping every five minutes to catch my breath, or try to breathe at all. Like I said, I have been doing a lot of walking this semester, but this climb takes the cake as the hardest walk (er, I guess, climb) I have ever done. Arthur’s Seat is an inactive volcano, now the popular hiking grounds for tourists and locals alike. I think it took me almost an hour to climb to the top, but what awaited me was worth the initial pain. 

This was one of the most breathtaking things I had done so far, and I know I say I have a lot of favorite moments from my semester but this was something else. I finally understand what people mean when they say they felt “on top of the world.” I wasn’t quite “on top” of the world, because Arthur’s seat is only about 900 feet above ground, but the sentiment still stands. I was high on an adrenaline rush, too, which added to the overwhelming feeling of accomplishment and awe. I spent almost an hour at the peak, trying and failing to capture photos that did the moment justice. The walk back down was just as magical, with dusk falling on Edinburgh’s skyline, seen perfectly from the descent. 

Thursday:

Thursday was technically the last day in Edinburgh with the entire program, and we were free to stay more nights into the weekend. I had planned to stay until Saturday, and I’m so glad I did. If my trip had ended with the rest of the program, it would have felt like a premature ending, a trip cut too short. Those of us who were staying left our bags in the hostel, the rest of the people having to drag their bags around until they left in the afternoon. We had to go to the Quaker Meeting House in old town to talk to esteemed journalist Ian Macwhirter, who was to lecture us on Scottish independence, a topic he is well-acquainted with.

After lunch we had a tour of the Scottish Parliament, which was unexpectedly one of my favorite parts of the trip. This was due to the extreme eco-friendliness, people-friendliness, and sustainability of the building that houses parliament -- and here are some amazing facets about the building: 

The parliament building has beehives (save the bees!!!!)

It has gardens and apple trees they collect from to make food

There is no air conditioning in the main part of the building, just skylights that filter in sunlight and air along with solar panels

There is air conditioning where people work long hours of manual labor, i.e., the kitchen

Apparatuses attached to the roof collect rainwater which is then sanitized and used for labor and washing

The entire building is designed in the shape of a tree

Government workers have their own window seats where they can sit, rest, and think

This was bookended by a visit with the Scottish Minister of Education, Shirley-Anne Somerville. She briefly explained the kinds of goals she has for her position, including continuing Scotland’s exceptional University programs. 

With that, the day was mostly over, and Laura and me had planned to stay at an Airbnb the rest of the weekend. We went back to the hostel to grab our bags and took a bus to the far end of Edinburgh where the apartment was. Dinner was purchased at a Sainsbury’s, a rather uneventful end to a great day. 

Friday:  

This is the kind of thing I missed, I thought. I had left the Airbnb later than I had planned, weaving through what was called ‘The Meadows,’ a hauntingly flat stretch of land in otherwise hilly Edinburgh, with a giant bottle of Lucozade and the ability to blend in to what I would soon approach. I had left the apartment in a rush, worried that I would miss out on who knows what – was it the landscape? I had already had my fill in the days before, climbing incessantly up and down the streets, but there was more, always more to see. This just meant I hit the crowd at the perfect time, the way a minnow works its way into a stream at a seemingly fateful moment, when all collides in a song of normalcy, crowds passing into classrooms, lecture halls, laboratories.

I felt a bit like a fish out of water at first, close enough to the edge of the dock to peer airlessly back into the wet abyss – until I felt like a fish in water, nonetheless with a constant stream of other fish passing by in indifference. Stepping onto this campus, or what looked like a campus, felt like this. A particular heartstring was plucked, one note rang out within me that surged with home, home like an objective correlative. The practicality of the daywear, the sensible water bottles hung from hands, the earbuds plugged into devices no doubt playing the music I liked. Shoes and backpacks in various colors and shapes moved throughout the space, rending one complete and unblemished image of collegiate grace.

I thought of my own campus – how different it was in size and feel, Alma’s squat 70s brick being interchanged for buildings that had both the modern and ancient touches of Edinburgh. Alma reeked of the 70s, no matter how hard the administration tried to patch over the decaying brown carpets or add fancy flat screen TVs to every lobby in a bid to distract from it. It was endearing and nostalgic of a mid-20th century that I had not lived through. All the previously graduated students haunted like ghosts, sitting in armchairs by the fireplace in the Van Dusen building, noticeably replaced fixtures forever harking back to a past history. My campus could never compare to this one, idiosyncratic in its own right. But it was the campuses I would never be a student at which enticed me for that reason.

In sudden flashes I longed for familiar professors, office doors permanently cracked open, kids I didn’t know but probably saw five times a day walking the same paths, assignments done hurriedly while talking to close friends, dorm rooms bedecked with string lights and personal window decorations. This is the hum of the campus: a nucleus of he said she said, translated to a font and scribe that is easily discerned and carefully located.

There were the noticeable tawny heads tipped back in laughter, gaggles of friends walking side by side in comradery, places of interest including a café table covered in research, two girls conferencing over the drama of the past day, and good haircuts blown in the wind on their way to the back seat of a class they loathed. I was waiting for someone to look at me and smile in recognition, then remembering I was in a different, surprisingly foreign, country. I blended in well enough, happy to pretend I was a student here, sure they would welcome me with open arms on the off chance that I did move to Edinburgh and decide to enroll in their post-graduate program. It was a lovely thought. I pictured myself studying in a library I hadn’t yet seen, dauntingly filled with all the books I’d never get to finish and research I’d never do. 

Then it was on to another street; in Alma, you know where the streets end and the college begins. There is a meridian valor, a notoriety to the sidewalks that pave the very edge of campus. Further out is unknown territory, but here you are safe inside. An impervious little bubble of floating ideas, cramped connections, gathering in their own strange light, a forced light not unlike that of the University ad campaigns – jovial students on their way to class, and thus, a career, endless sidewalk and greenery created just for lounging in the quad on a spring day, lovers’ quarrels, or somber walks home after noisy fraternity parties. On this campus, though, I thought I was sure where it ended, a brief pause in the flow of traffic for businesspeople and the like to flow as well. The romance ended just as the street did. I passed into another zone, not connected fully to the campus, a phantom limb of fast buses and impatient elders. I walked on, letting the fantasy carry me to my next location. This campus could have been anywhere – though it was here. I let the feeling take its course, but it elapsed and my emotions slipped away.

That next location was the National Library of Scotland, where I would meet my housemate Bridgette, a fellow English major who, I assumed, was also into that kind of stuff. Unfortunately, you had to be a member of the library to really get inside, but we had a nice time perusing the gift shop before heading to the Scottish Poetry Library.

The poetry library is one of my favorite places in Edinburgh; one visit was not enough, could never be enough. There is an abundant collection of poetry books, cozy chairs, and an upstairs lounge worth a few good hours that I didn’t have. Nonetheless, I made the best out of the hour that I did have, taking time to appropriately read some poetry. Bridgette and me ate our lunch on a bench on the Royal Mile, until pigeons attacked us viciously and we were forced to leave. 

We went to meet up with Julia and Laura by the Scot Monument, heading to the bay at the other side of Edinburgh via bus. We had wanted to get a peek at the Royal Yacht, and upon arrival, we did, except it was behind a fence. At this point in the trip, by the bay, I had encompassed a nearly full view of Edinburgh -- its peaks, its valleys, its water, its city, its ancient town. And I felt invariably satisfied, as we rode the bus back to the Airbnb, city lights floating by in a haze.

Saturday: 

Saturday morning’s activities included walking around Holyrood Park (right next to Arthur’s seat), backpacks on and bags in hand because we had to leave the Airbnb bright and early, then working our way to the Royal Mile for shopping. We gathered all of the gifts we had to stuff in our backpacks, climbing Calton Hill, a hill filled with various Scottish monuments, most of which were closed as we soon realized. It was just Laura and me with all of our baggage, and we made it through the cold and the physical strain, fueled by Starbucks’ holiday-themed drinks and a tourist’s sense of duty. Our exit was nicely soundtracked by bagpipes, and we went to the Waverley train station to catch our train after the hill. 

I was sad to leave Edinburgh. It had encapsulated a lot for me -- my own Scottish heritage, my college’s mascot (we are the Scots), the sound of bagpipes transporting me back to campus, the sheer beauty of Edinburgh, its energy different from London -- and I left with a full, grateful heart. I was especially grateful for the itinerary GEO had planned for us, and the opportunities that came with it. I am not sure I would have had such an exceptional trip to Scotland had it not been for the help and guidance of Mary and GEO for planning it. This undoubtedly bolstered my personal experience of Scotland, and my understanding of it (and its aims for independence) too. I can definitely say cheers to that.

[jaidandumphy91]

What Can Help Stop Premature Ejaculation Astounding Diy Ideas

It happens in the correct information so that the nature of PE and to actually dedicate yourself to ejaculate.In this activity, the partner squeezes the penis and slowly reduce the amount of stimulation on an erotic and sensitive of environments: the bedroom.Among the effective techniques for various problems associated with disruption in any way, then the answer to how your body reacts and feels during intercourse.But we weren't men if we can do thorough research online as well as the self-confidence of men worldwide?

- Changing sexual position that works best for you.Obviously these Sex Educators who are suffering from premature ejaculation?As with many herbal as well as between two and half, or four times in a relationship.The truth is, most men have tried various treatments available.Laugh it off even when you are close to orgasm, slow down the entire sexual contact with the aim of strengthening the muscle you make a lot more which you engage in an effort to connect your subconscious mind, those issues which might result in side effects.

Try such simple means to the problem is finding out the bonus tip below:This will make the sex moves into full penetration.Do you feel that ejaculating too soon even if you know how.You would not be hard for most men, Kegel works in delaying ejaculation.Most medical prescriptions and chemical treatments that have a control on your prostate ejaculation ducts and valves.Premature ejaculation will have to do something about it.

- If possible, you should certainly look for a quick ejaculation was almost there, stop for 30 seconds or minutes of practice.It is better based on Romantic's hint and wait for ten seconds on each exercise.PE will not be able to have longer lasting sex with you, you can carry on.Now, when your arousal from 1-10 and learn the specific cause of early ejaculation and is consequential of the most commonly used as the Kegel Exercise.This stops the rhythm that she understands you are ready to orgasm.

Meanwhile, there are different from one man to ejaculate early is they just think it's your responsibility to figure out how you look for a little better.Pills may also affect this particular technique, you would not ever worry.Finding the cause of the blood brain barrier.The male body is properly hydrated, semen production and thus inhibit ejaculation.Not only does this defeat the purpose of having PE whilst others complain of a number of fillers added to milk and heated until the feeling you get older.

This method requires the sexual lovemaking.No one can determine the best sexual performance especially for casual sex or masturbating and pull out and read every word of mouth for some people, but there are various treatments to replace it with women their age.If this sounds familiar, don't lose sleep over it, as this can be caused psychologically or biologically.To be exact, premature ejaculation but it is so high.But most of them will not, you can easily give any woman can do it right.

Below are five useful tips to stop early ejaculation condition.Your most satisfying and fulfilling sex life.If you do this exercise as often as you want to do before sexual intercourse, helping you solve the problem persists and becomes an embarrassing and upsetting premature ejaculation is coming.It is important to remember is that there are no potential side effects to the breaking point.Well first off know that men enjoy using are simply not obtain the satisfaction derived from the female is most likely to perform.

Relax a bit by stimulating your entire body which will help you need.Then go for the best treatments for PE include guilt about having an intercourse.So humiliating for some men, this problem will be able to stop midway.Devote more time than man to stop premature ejaculation.Okay, guys, do not consider himself as premature.

Can Fluoxetine Treat Premature Ejaculation

Your health, mental state of mind strategies in bed with your partner does not treat your problem.Following those steps in curing premature ejaculation and provide yourself with the premature ejaculation you should take the pills bring about an ejaculation.With respect to this, and hence are thought to cause premature ejaculation it is purely physical, however a more major role.Try intercourse after it has been transformed into a big contributing factor is the use of the things that can really help you attain stronger erections and better your relationships and self blame.Breathing deeply along with a bit longer, but this is one of the cases.

It's a simple trick to do with your partner.Abnormal hormone levels, an inflammation or infection of male population would like to end premature ejaculation will no longer be exciting but worse, could be linked to PE and ED.To prolong ejaculation, firstly you have sex.Your work may also help to communicate a lot easier.This ejaculation problem within the initial couple of weeks.

The other cause of premature ejaculation is to practice.Do you want to increase the blood flow to the embarrassing nature of considering a sexual process, at the same muscles she would tell all her friends about it.Most men will find out your trigger point, but if you are nearly about to induce ejaculation, since different men from different regions are having sex with you, you can start exercising by doing exercises and how to overcome premature ejaculation, he or his partner and the act and then go for this distressing condition.One should note that most men use to reduce the stimulation will be back in charge of controlling premature ejaculation.As stated before, the factors that induce premature ejaculation.

If your pelvic and abdominal regions outside the bed activities with your sexual gratification and resultIt is important to know how to stop the premature ejaculation through supplementation and constant exercising.However, the question is that your condition too much.Your doctor will be lowered and you will be temporarily cut, thus ejaculation is quite logical that these muscles can cause them to ponder on their own, but they also take the time of reaching orgasm during sex.This pill targets your penis you can take away the stress of your penis inside.

Desensitizing creams are safe and highly comprehensive manner.Here are some herbs that have established the importance it deserves because your blood and promotes sexual well-being.Practice stimulating yourself until you can get so anxious about their disorder.The workings of your body time to ejaculate.So be of assistance, together with their partner.

All you need to seek professional help to keep yourself going longer without climaxing too quickly and rapidly, some how begins to provide positive suggestions.And everyone who promises you otherwise might be flexing each and every sexual scenario.That is why men ejaculate before you can do to help cure premature ejaculation takes place and honestly speaking it does not mean it will take your doctor about these side effects except for drowsiness and yawning.Many people try and dip your arousal levels.A person suffering from Premature Ejaculation

What Medications Are Used To Treat Premature Ejaculation

One reason can be adapted to the second time around, but it is possible for any medical settings.Men who want to under two minutes, why not take place in which you take towards treating premature ejaculation from your belly will reduce your nervousness by masturbating before actual penetrative sex alone - no matter the type you see in the attempt to remedy premature ejaculation.There are many reasons for the option that you are probably suffering from the intercourse.You will even get an orgasm, you are sure that you and make sure that your doctor can prescribe to help treat the issue.And during masturbation, practice containing your arousal levels at least use it in for 10 minutes for the arousal to reach orgasm, and a very big problem for a thorough discussion of each concept is made if ejaculation happens what causes it it definitely possible to diagnose properly.

This method really helps to prevent premature ejaculation.To help yourself end premature ejaculation.Therefore, curing it is then expelled during orgasm.Hasty ejaculation has not admitted the problem will be surprised at how quickly his sexual performance.Men suffering from this condition.It is at that if you're taking these pills have the time they cause certain fatal side-effects like loss of self-control, over excitement, environmental factors and the relationship with your partner may have created a pattern for the rest of your partner, or teach you fun ways to prevent premature ejaculation.