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livelaughlaw3 · 6 months ago

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Marked on skin

TW : angst, sadness, physical touch, post-traumatic stress, rape (Not Shanks, HE WOULD NEVER DO THAT), fluffy end <3333

You are single in this story and Shanks is only your Captain. (He has two arms because he's too smart to have lost his arm that way and Oda already said it was his editor who told him to tell that story.)

The right arm walks towards your quarters and knocks. “Y/N ?!”, you sigh, you weren’t really sleeping but their calls interrupt the hubbub of your thoughts. “Yes ?”, “Are you okay ?”, “Yes, yes.” They settle for this answer, which you both know is false. The right hand man, the doctor, Lucky, Lime and most of the crew came by several times to hear from you. It’s true that initially, they were reluctant to have a woman as a crew member. But all their prejudices have melted like snow in the sun with you. You were not just any woman, you were a strong fighter, very strategist almost on the same level as the Vice Captain, very gentle, talented, who prepared food for them and looked after them. All this without demanding anything in return.

It had been months since you joined them and within the first week, they had all adopted you. Recommended by Benn to Shanks who recruited you after a few minutes of conversation. Your absence for several weeks was felt at home. But since you were a woman, they didn't know exactly what was going on and didn't want to push it so as not to make you uncomfortable. At first, Hongo thought about your period which was painful, you had already told him about it. But they can't last that long. Besides, you lock your door, he couldn't examine you when you were sleeping in the middle of the night. Shanks didn't realize it at first until one day, when he asked Lucky, who was preparing the meals, he was told that it was cooking on board and no longer his nakama.

That same evening, he was going to knock on your room with white roses. "Treasure ? It’s me, will you open the door please ?..”, you sigh and decide to pretend to sleep, facing the wall. He turns the doorknob down, expecting to find it closed. You hear the door creak and the light from the hallway seep into the room. “Are you sleeping ?”, you turn towards him slightly. “N-No..”, he sits at your feet, hands you the bouquet. You want to cry about biting your lip and staying silent. He doesn’t admit defeat, scratches the back of his neck shyly and tells you “It’s for you ahaha.” You thank him in a weak voice, he says to you “Okay, I’m going to find a vase and then I’ll come back, okay ?” You nod and turn back to the wall. He goes into the hold and finds one which he fills with water and immerses the bouquet in it then places it on your desk. You thank him again but without conviction. He sits down at your feet and asks you, “Have you eaten ?”, “I’m not hungry.”, “But babe, you haven’t eaten anything for several weeks.” You stay silent, he says to you “Please look at me, sit down for a few minutes maximum and if you really don’t want me, I’ll leave.” He doesn't know that it's mainly because of the extent of your bruises that you can't move. You make a superhuman effort to remove your blanket and sit back down. He turns on your night light and looks at your face carefully. You would like to hide your face in your pillow. He tilts his head to the side. “Tell me what’s going on, sweetheart.” You answer him “Nothing at all, don’t worry. I just don’t want to go out or eat, I just want to die-sleep.”

The slip of the tongue you make rings a bell in his ear. He stays silent, it makes the silence awkward. He asks you “Did I hurt you ? Or did I say something ? Or the crew ? We’ll apologize as many times as you want if that’s it.” You shake your head, he sighs and says “Okay, anyway, I’m here for you. You can come and talk to me whenever you want, even in the middle of the night, you can wake me up.” You thank him, in a weak voice, he puts his hand on your shoulder, making you wince in pain. He removes it immediately “Sorry darling, I’m sorry, did I hurt you ??!” You shake your head but you both know it’s a lie. He gets up, kisses you on the forehead and wishes you good night and that he will come back tomorrow evening. You wait for him to close the door before lying down very, very slowly and painfully to avoid screaming in pain. You cover yourself and go back to sleep, he scratches his head and goes to talk about it with his right-hand man and his doctor. Benn tells them, “Either something happened before that she’s remembering now, or something happened since she joined us.”

The next day, Shanks has an idea and goes to see his crew. “Now that we are no longer busy, could we return to Fuschia Village ?” So you don't know that they changed route and after a few hours, he comes back to your room but finds the door closed. He sighs and tells you through “We’ve arrived in Fuschia, get ready if you ever want to see Makino. I’m sure she misses you a lot.” You don't answer him, you get up and take a shower, undoing the bandages on your thighs. The wounds are healed now but your bruises are gigantic and painful. Morphine is no longer effective and you don't want to increase the dose, otherwise you'll become addicted. You shower with hot water and bite your tongue to keep from screaming.

You get dressed, long dress, tights, long sleeves and you put your bandages back on in case your dress lifts. You take a painkiller even though it won't give you any relief. You comb your straight hair and brush your teeth. You put a bandage under the dress for your breasts, also covered in bruises, and closed shoes. You get off the boat after taking a deep breath. The crew is already on the island, or so you thought. When you feel, a hand grabs yours slowly. You jump, he laughs “It’s me baby, don’t panic.” You breathe in relief, he continues to laugh and compliments you “You’re beautiful doll, do you want a date?” You shrug your shoulders, you don't remove your hand, you go down to the island. He walks at your pace, which he finds much too slow for his liking. He doesn't make any remarks to you and enters the bar with you. You don't realize it but even as pale and sunken, you attract everyone's attention. You think it's because a pirate emperor, also famous for his beauty, is holding your hand right now. You keep your head down, he makes you sit at the counter, asking the waiter where the bar owner is. You hiss through your teeth at the pain when he holds you by the waist. He apologizes again when Makino returns from the reserve. “Ohhh Captain !!! Y/N ?!! How are you doing ??" You raise your head with difficulty and look away from her. Shanks nods to her that something is wrong. He replies “I’m okay, thank you and you ?” She asks you what you want to drink but you remain silent and still. Shanks asks her for a glass of his favorite alcohol. He also asks her to give you a glass of water. She does so, he leans into your ear “I’m coming. Stay seated angel.” You don't react, he heads towards the toilet, while Makino chats but she seems more like she's launching into a monologue. After a few minutes, she says to you “What if we go somewhere else ?” You answer, “He…t-told me…to stay…sitting.”

She tilts her head to the side “We’ll stay seated but not here, he won’t be so angry with us.” You accept but wince in pain as you get off the seat, she doesn't comment and tells the waiter to hold the bar for a while until she returns. You go to the back of the store and she makes you sit on the sofa. She asks you to tell her and you've always trusted her so you break down. Your tears flow but it is anger and shame that you feel. Not sad, you show her the bruises you have, when she asks you why you grimace and move with difficulty. Finally, her eyes widen when you tell her that your abuser slashed you with a knife, along the entire length of your inner thighs, almost to your groin. You show her painfully by spreading your thighs, she puts her hands in front of her mouth, shocked. You remain silent for a moment, you put your dress back on correctly and your tights, mechanically. She asks you who you told about it, you tell her that you kept it to yourself. She advises you to at least tell Shanks. You crack your fingers “N-No.. he will want.. to avenge me.. and I don’t want him.. to see me as a burden.” She also sits down, trying to digest the news when the boy calls him for a client.

You tell her she can go and that you're going to go see the beach because you haven't been out in forever. She tries to tell you to tell your Captain but you refuse. She is in a hurry with her work so she leaves the back of the shop, you go through the back door and leave the bar. You walk very painfully towards the seaside which is only a few meters from the bar. You sit on the sand, knees drawn up to your chest. Shanks returning from the toilets, asks Makino for news, who takes him aside. He scratches the back of his neck “So ? Did she explain to you what’s wrong ?! Is she sick or angry ?! Against me ?! I can’t tell and I’m worried about her !!” Makino sighs and replies, “How long has she been like this ?”, “More than a month, I’d say.” She replies “She was attacked, exactly a month ago then.” Shanks thinks and asks her “Assaulted, what do you mean?!” The boy calls the manager again so she quickly tells him “It’s not my place to tell you Captain. But go see her.. She's at the beach..” Shanks lets her go, looks at his crew then leaves the bar after warning his right-hand man.

He walks and arrives quickly, finding you sitting on the ground, your head in your arms. He approaches you slowly and crouches down next to you, his hand on your wrist “Y/N ?” You raise your head, the same purple circles under your haggard eyes. He puts his hand on your cheek and says to you “You’re really very pretty princess but I’d like to have you all to myself for a few hours, will you allow me ? Shall we return to the ship ?” You shrug your shoulders, he smiles at you, stands up and holds out his hands to you. You hesitate for a long time, he was about to apologize for disturbing you but you grab his hands slowly. You stand up then shake off your clothes, sand, biting your lip with the pain. He doesn't comment then says to you “Did you put your feet in the water ?”, you shake your head. He asks you “Can I carry you if you want ?”, you shake your head. He keeps your hand in his and you return to the ship, walking slowly.

He sits you down on the deck couch, you groan in pain. There, he is even more worried, he apologizes, you remain silent. He will get you some water, which you drink. Holding back your tears, he kneels down, asks you “Shall I walk you to your bathroom ?”, you nod. He smiles at you, helping you up, still holding your limp and cold hand. He closes your door and asks you “Since you’re in pain, it’s better to sit on your bed rather than the edge of your bathtub, right ?” You nod, he makes your bed again and makes you sit up, you try to bend over to take off your tights. It's too painful, you moan in pain too. He crouched down “Wait, wait, I’ll do it. Let me take care of it darling. Trust me." You let him do it, he turns on your night light and you lift your dress. Knowing full well that he was going to see your bruises, you wanted to get rid of this heavy secret anyway, your crew wouldn't leave you alone without you confessing.

As his gaze moves up your thighs, the apple of his eye widens. He splutters “Baby, is this- ?! B-But ??! Who did this to you ???!” You lower your head, he takes off your sandy tights and looks at your bandaged thighs. He asks you “W-Well.. your dress too ?..” You nod, still with your head down, he takes it off. His heart skips a beat, your body is covered in bruises, it's normal for you to moan in pain at the slightest movement. “Doll, tell me. Who did this to you ??”, “I don’t know him..” He looks at the scratches on your knees and shoulders. Suddenly, everything he had prepared for turns out to be insignificant.

Yes someone hit you but there is something else. He said out loud, “It’s worse than I thought.” He asks you “And here ??!”, pointing to your thighs. He asks your permission, makes you stand up and undoes your bandages. His eyes widen, the scar follows your thighs from above to your knee and it doesn't seem to stop at your crotch. He imagines the worst and if you had been mutilated… He kneels in front of you, you spread your thighs, he touches the now healed but gigantic scar with his fingertips. Scared of the answer, he has to ask you the question, stammering “Did he.. ?..” You nod your head, tears well up in the corners of your cheeks. He looks at you, still kneeling at your feet. You don't care that you're scantily clad in front of your Captain at this very moment. He gets up and holds your waist gently, apologizing “Oh, ohh.. b-but..d-damn.. I-I’m.. noooo.. I’m sorry sweetheart.” In tears, you tell him, through sobs “No one will want me anymore..” He is lost for words, holds you against him, always gently so as not to make you suffer. He tries to find the words, he knows that he is very valuable to you so he thinks. “Treasure, no man would refuse a woman like you unless he is stupid and anyway, very few men on Earth deserve you. Not even me.” You burst into tears, everything you had accumulated since that time, alone in your corner, ruminating, flows freely onto his shirt. He holds you a little tighter, his fingers tracing your spine “You’re really strong, my love. I’m sorry I wasn’t there.” His shoulders sag, he tells you “It doesn’t matter, cry as much as you need, sweetheart. I'm here now.. I beg your forgiveness..” You continue to cry, he hugs your feverish body against him. You hear the crew on deck, talking.

He wipes your tears, kisses your forehead then leads you to your bathtub. He hands you the hand shower, the glove and the soap then places the towel on the edge. He closes the door and tells you that he is going to clean the sand from your room. You clean yourself up, put the towel around your waist and brush your teeth. He tidied up your room, you came out finding it empty. You slowly get dressed in your pajamas and sit on your bed. He comes back to your room and asks you “Come here please, little heart.” You grab the hand he extends to you, he takes you to the infirmary, makes you sit on the bed. Hongo joins you, you let him examine you, he gives you other painkillers, not stronger but at least to change the molecule. He wishes you a good night and you are not hungry so your Captain, take your chin in his fingers. He asks you, the other hand on the small of your back “You have the right to refuse but I tidied my room and my bed is a thousand times softer than yours and I will sleep on the floor, I promise, you want sleep well in my room ?” You nod, he opens the door to his room and lets go of your hand once you lie down in his bed painfully. He covers you, asks you if you want anything else. The poor guy pesters you with questions “Blankets ? Another pillow ? Heating ? Open the window ? Should I turn off the light completely ? Do you want more clothes ? Aren’t you cold ?” You shrug your shoulders and simply respond “I-It's okay.. th-thank you.” He tilts his head to the side, you roll over onto your side, he pulls up his blanket again, kisses your cheek and says that he comes back.

Unfortunately, you fall asleep before he returns, he goes to his sniper and tells him, in the dormitory, in front of the rest of the crew. “I know you so I don’t want to hear a single comment from you, you don’t say anything about her. At most, you say hello to her, that's all, she sleeps in my room and not in the way you think. Make it easy for her, she’s experienced the worst thing that can happen to a woman.” He looks at his crew, wishing them good night “The advice also applies to all of you, I would not allow anyone to harm her, even unintentionally.” They nod, he goes back to his room. You are already asleep, he showers, gets dressed and places a mattress on the floor then kisses you on the cheek before lying down and falling asleep until the next day.

When he wakes up, you're still asleep, he gets ready and goes to buy you breakfast on the island. He wakes you up, you sit up with his help and eat on his bed slowly. He explains to you that it is the last day in Fuschia and that you are therefore going to say goodbye to Makino. You get ready very slowly and with difficulty but he reassures you, sitting on his bed “Take your time angel. I’m right there.” He moved all your things into his bathroom, overnight and your clothes into his closet. You go down to the island for lunch. The crew is very happy to see you, telling you that they missed you a lot. You remain very calm, despite everything, one evening will not cure everything, with the snap of a finger.

You hug the manager you adore, promising to keep in touch by phone. Shanks doesn't leave you a meter and insists on carrying you back. Seeing that walking is painful for you. When he returns to his room, he places you on the floor. Making you sit in his chair to take off your clothes. He asks you “And how did you deal with the pain ?” You sigh “At first, the ice.. but I no longer had the strength to put it around my body.. And for the medicines.. they are in the drawer in my room.” He takes you to his bathroom, you shower, he goes to check that famous drawer. He opens, eyes wide, counting the number of empty pads. When he comes back to his room, finding you sitting on his bed, asking “D-Did you drink all that ???”, you nod. Getting ready to answer you, you tell him “Treatments for illnesses… and to prevent… getting… pregnant… took away all my energy, to go to the toilet, I crawled on the ground.” He lowers his head and listens silently when he is called by his right arm, you let him go. He comes back with dinner but you refuse, holding your mouth, the smell making you nauseous. “I’m not hungry, I’m disgusted.” He suggests you let him shower and come back and talk about it, you nod. He lays you down and covers you then leaves. You look at the ceiling then he comes out dressed, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. He eats your share of food and sits at your feet.

You continue as he asks you “I know, my question will be stupid but why didn’t you tell me ?” You sigh, “How could I have come to see my Captain, the highest hierarchy on the ship, to tell him something so shameful and which shows that I am weak, which happened to me. You would have told me to leave the crew.” He drinks his glass of water, and replies “It’s proof that you don’t know your Captain but I don’t blame you, spend more time with me, you’ll see that I’m the complete opposite of that kind of man." He signals to you that he is going to put this in the kitchen sink then comes back to brush his teeth. He puts his mattress on the floor, you feel bad so you start to tell him that you could sleep on the floor and him in his bed. But he interrupts you “No darling, don’t think about that, rest.” You listen to it and fall asleep very quickly. He looks at the ceiling then gets up and goes to ask his doctor for advice.

It will take several months for you to return to your previous life as a pirate. But he knows that we never recover from an event like this. He takes care of you thoroughly and you will end up being together because no other man could treat you the way you deserve.

Enjoy - Do not copy or repost anywhere. Republish of course if you like it. I made edits on Tiktok too if you want to check 🫶🏻🫶🏻

#red haired shanks #shanks #shanks x y/n #akagami no shanks x reader #shanks x reader #shanks x gn reader #one piece film red

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wildernessuntothemselves · 1 year ago

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You make a really interesting point actually.

I’ve always been aware that not every member was going to be equally talented in certain categories and sometimes they weren’t even that talented and were added just for their looks (which I don’t believe is right considering the overwhelming amount of talented people that could’ve been in their place, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love them any less). But I feel like I saw people always being kinda mean about it so I tried to defend them and sometimes try and delude myself into believing they had more talent than they really did. I just wanted to be more positive if I’m being honest, but hindsight is 20/20 and I’ve realized that them being mean wasn’t always the case, they were just stating the facts lol. I’ve also grown since then. Idols like that still exist and I don’t hate on them for it. But I also don’t try and convince myself or anyone else that they’re something they’re not. I have hopes that they’ll continue to improve though!

As for demanding equal lines, I admit that I am one of those people, or I at least just complain about it to myself or my friends. But I’ve recently realized that more often than not, it’s for a good reason. They might not get many lines in singing or rap, but they can be a stellar dancer and show their talent through that. I’ve never quite considered that to be a possibility.

I do remember times though where I noticed a member got little to no lines, but were constantly center or at the front during the dance or got lots of screen time during the music video. I’d like to think that the reason why that is is because the company wants the members to present themselves and perform in the best way possible that is effective to their strengths and weakness and not because they like or dislike a member more than the others (which is also a possibility that I keep in mind).

The thing with all-rounders is interesting as well. I personally do think that some idols are all-rounders, they’re just the strongest in one category and that’s usually the one that they present as the most. But I agree that most idols aren’t all-rounders when their fans consider them so. I wonder if that’s just because they want to think the best about them even when it’s not completely true. I personally do base my “favorite singer in the group” or “favorite rapper in the group” off of my personal tastes, but I’ll always say that when stating my opinion because I know it’s not a universal thing.

The Kpop fandom as a whole is soooo… I don’t even know.

Anyways! I’m sorry for the long paragraph and opinion that literally no one asked for 🥲, I’m just having all of these epiphanies😅

I hope you’re doing well! Love youuuuu🫶🫶🫶

I guess in kpop it makes sense some are added for their looks. Kpop isn't just about vocals. In fact it mainly isn't and the visuals are the stan attractors but they at least should carry a tune and there should be a proper main vocalist.

Yeah there is being mean and there is stating a fact. Like i said some are my own faves and even i can admit they're not good lmao but they shine somewhere else

Oh i used to be one of the equal lines demanders and i used to resent jungkook because he got the most lines in bts songs lol but now i get it. He is by far the most stable live and the most in control over his own vocals. My own fave at the time V had and still has very poor technique that despite his pleasant tone of voice makes him hard to listen to for long.

Yup while there are cases of idols with good vocals not getting their due lines (liz from ive is the most recent example) sometimes they make the idol shine in something else like momo in twice. Ofc at the same time they should still get a couple of lines so they're not completely removed from the song because that's just cruel.

Yeah there are all rounders but they're very rare. Like txt for example, yeonjun is the only all rounder. The rest aren't and it's dishonest to say they are but companies wanna claim their idols are all all rounders to not do the work of finding standout talent over just visuals. Like newjeans, ive, lesserafim, all groups I adore but where is the main vocalist? Main dancer? Main rapper?

Yeah the kpop fandom is made up of younger kids so of course they'd be passionate about defending their faves. I was when i was their age.

#mort talks

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jasontoddspussy · 7 days ago

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AO3 Tag game!

Get to know your fave writers through their fanfic lore..

Fave tropes to write about?

hmmm. I love killing characters and giving everyone else consuequences. i love turning someone into a creature and making everyone choose to side with them. i love forced proximity. i love blood, cannibalism, death, accidental incest.... I just love angsty things with secrets, expositions and potential for extreme consequences. I like it when bad things happen, when they do the unspeakeable and yet they're still loved by someone. they still deserve to be happy.

im not gonna further psychoanalyse why<3

and also. monster cock hot

Last WIP you worked on and what it's about?:

At the moment it's just titled "Mephala's blessing" which is a sequel to my fic "Weakness and Lust", it's about Jason dealing with a pregnancy and ultimately Dick and Tim deciding to support him, leading to domestic times. For once, nothing angsty::)

Other WIPs you want to work on?:

Ooof, there's many. I really wanna work on like a time-displacement? fic I've written a bit of, where Robin Jason and Hood Jason switch places. Aside from that, I have a hate-fucker oneshot, I have my Death! AU, my bodyswap Au, a vampire AU... Yeahhhh.

Do you listen to anything while you write?

Sometimes. Usually like, non-talking asmr things with a lot of clicky sounds, complete silence distracts me.

Open your last 1-5 WIPS and choose your favourite parts and paste them below:

From "Mehpala's blessing"

So no. Jason didn’t go to Talia expecting her to somehow undo his pregnancy. She’s powerful, and has many connections - but even she wouldn’t be able to remove a deity’s blessing. His pregnancy is going to happen, this child will be birthed, because Mephala has willed it so.

But he also knows that if Talia did have a way to undo it, she would. Night-Mother or not.

And that’s.. Really why he’s here. He’s scared. Of what this child will do to his life.

He’s spent years creating a system, building a community in Crime Alley. He’s their protector.

But now he’s forced to, for at least a while, go on break.

He doesn’t want to give up on Hood. He can’t.

Switching places:

He could call Bruce, but their dad’s on a business trip, a legit one for once, with Alfred accompanying him. Dick was supposed to be babysitting (which, he didn’t need a babysitter, he’s 13!) for the week while they’re gone. He’s pretty sure they’re not even in the US, right now. So even if he did call Bruce…

Well, it wouldn’t do him much good. And since Dick’s number isn’t working right now...

Loke's Rhapsody:

He’s very, very happy no-one who knows him is here to see this and make any are you hitting yourself jokes. Dick spares his hand a glare at this betrayal.

Then utterly freezes.

The hand staring at him is tan, but nowhere near Dick’s level. Its fingers are crooked, as if they’d been broken and re-broken without proper care too many times. Nails are short, clipped, but the skin around them is bitten and dry. Scars are painted all around his fingers, his palm and on the back of his hand, some smaller, newer and barely there. Others looking like skin had been flayed off. It was abundant.

And, for some reason, slightly familiar.

His gaze travels up a long forearm and yep, more scars speckled upon tanned, freckled skin. He frowns as his mind automatically catalogues knife-wounds, gun-wounds, blunt force trauma, burns. Dick would be the first to admit he’s not perfect, but he’s good at dodging. Has he been injured before? Of course, but with proper care, and sometimes beauty manipulation (thanks rich-guy money), he and every other mask in his family’s been able to keep scarring to a minimum on visible areas such as arms and legs and face.

His eyes settle on the long scars starting by the wrist, ending by the crook of the elbow. It looks like someone had taken their nails and forced it into the flesh, and then, as if unsatisfied with the damage, gone over it in a single line with a knife.

And Dick’s fucked up in a plethora of ways.

But he’s not suicidal.

This can’t be right.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

My first one shot was an Ao No Exorcist dead dove fic. My first multi-chaptered fic was a Homestuck fic.

Last book you read?

Nicole Angemi's anatomy book on interesting pathology.

Next book you want to read?

Probably either "Forensics" or "Death, dissection and the destitute"

Least favourite thing to write and why?

Romance. I *suck* at writing romance. I base a lot of emotions and sometimes experiences on personal things, which is why I suck at writing romance - It doesn't interest me, nor can I relate to it lol

Fics you regret writing?

Hmmm. Honestly, I sorta regret writing this werewolf BTS fic i wrote back in 2018. I deleted it years later.

I also.. Well, maybe not regret writing it, but sharing it, a One Piece fic i wrote that was essentially just. Trauma dumping. it involved a lot of personal experiences, and I get that at the time of writing it, it was probably cathartic to just talk about what I went through but... i sorta regret sharing it because it was quite personal.

I've since then also deleted that one.

First bookmark on ao3, First fic in your ao3 history and first fic on you marked for later?

First bookmark: made in july 2014. "Locked Up" byorderofwords, a supernatural fic with demon dean locking sam in the bunker.

First fic in ao3 history: "honeyboy" by dollylux. also a supernatural fic, last visited june 26 2014 lmao. is it obvious what fandom brought me to ao3?

First marked for later: "medical procedure", an ao no exorcist fic, by Denshi_alpha, marked for later on january 15th 2017.

technically, there are other works before that marked for later but they've all been deleted it seems.

This or that;

Enemies to Lovers vs Friends to Lovers?

Enemies to lovers no question.

Mutual pining vs Developing feelings?

Developing feelings.

There was only one bed vs Clothes sharing ?

Hnnng..... This one is hard for me to choose. I love both. I'm gonna say.... Only one bed. Bcs sleepy cuddles.

Fix it vs Time Loop?

Depends. I'm not the biggest fan of either tbh. If I had to choose, probs fix-it?

Friends with benefits vs Idiots in love?

Friend with benefits, duh.

Fake/pretend relationship vs Accidental marriage:

Fake/pretend relationship. Gimme the forced proximated bbyyyyyy

Dark vs Fluffy?

Dark lol

Fuck-or-die vs Sex pollen:

....Both.

[x] made them do it vs Omegaverse:

Hmmm... Omegaverse.. But I like both.

Sci-fi/android AU vs Vampire/Werewolves/monsters AU:

Monsters. No question. I don't really like scifi or robots, it's boring to me, sorry.

Slow Burn vs Established relationship?

Slow burn, no question. I don't think I've ever shipped a shit where I've been like 'oh yeah they're in love and together already'. To me, slow-burn is developing feelings and relationships, not pre-existing feelings.

Non-pressure tagging:

@godmodebeginswithlesbians @cheetahleopard @xamaxenta @ragnarokhound @autpunk-arsonist @glitter-stained @sandy-writing

And anyone else who wanna do it! If I forgot your name sorry, my memory is swiss cheese ☆

#tagging game #fanfic #fun

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isnt-it-pretty · 1 year ago

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I rewrote the conversation with Collei in my eleazar!cyno fic because it didn't fit, but I decided I'd post it here as an outtake!

Wow, it's 2,287 words. That's like a short one-shot in itself. Oh well, here! You can see which sections I took verbatim, which I rewrote, and which I cut entirely. It has a very different vibe than the one I eventually went with.

Let me know if you're interested in seeing more cut sections and outtakes. They're often not as long as complete ar this one, but I saved them all.

Also sorry for the spacing tumblr likes adding an additional one and I wasn't sure whether getting rid of them made it harder to read since it's so long. Let me know if it's harder this way and I'll fix it.

You can read the fic in its entirety here!

Chapter 5, last scene, Collei & Cyno's discussion:

“Master Cyno?” Collei asked.

He looked up from his seat by the window to find her hovering in the doorway, looking unsure of herself.

“Collei,” he greeted, uncurling himself to face her more easily. “What is it?”

He hadn’t seen a lot of Collei outside of his physical therapy, especially not without Tighnari at her side. Cyno suspected it was difficult for her to see him like this. Her memories of their time in Mondstadt had always been a challenge for their relationship, but it was probably worse now. He was frail where he used to be strong, and even weeks of recovery had barely helped that (much to his growing frustration).

Collei hesitated. “Oh, um, well, I was wondering if- no, wait,” she stopped herself and took a deep breath, straightening her back before she continued. “You and I are going to play TCG. I have a deck for you and everything. It was a gift from a matra named Nayab?” She said it like a question, even though it clearly wasn’t supposed to be. “Um. Mahamatra Taj brought it.”

That was the first Cyno had heard of such a gift. He raised an eyebrow at Collei’s forwardness and silently noted to himself to look into why Nayab was sending him TCG decks.

She flushed beneath his gaze and looked away, fidgeting.

“Miss Lisa told me not to ask you if you wanted to do something, but just to tell you we’re doing it. She said you’d refuse if you aren’t feeling well, even if it’s something you usually like, and, um, Kaveh agreed when I mentioned it.”

Ah, so Lisa put her up to this. That wasn’t surprising—it sounded just like something she would do. Part of Cyno wanted to feel irritated at Lisa’s—and apparently Kaveh’s—intervention, but he knew she meant well, even if he didn’t want to admit that she was right. It was a lesson from their shared Akademiya years, when Cyno had avoided things because he felt too stressed to enjoy them, or hadn’t thought he deserved the break. He thought he’d moved on from that habit, but maybe Cyno wasn’t so far removed from his youth as he’d believed.

Genius Invokation was never something he’d ignored before. It was the only hobby he really had, but as Cyno’s health had waned, so too had his desire to play. He just didn’t have the energy or time. All of his once well-loved decks were probably still sitting on a dust covered shelf in his apartment.

He didn’t really want to play now, either. Maybe it was because he was tired, or the way his hands ached, or that he simply wanted to stew alone as he thought of his mistakes. TGC represented something from before to him, although Cyno wasn’t yet sure what that meant.

Collei was still waiting for his response, shifting anxiously as she did, and Cyno couldn’t deny her this. He couldn’t deny her anything, really.

“Okay,” he said, and she gave him a hesitant smile.

Standing hurt. It was something he had taken for granted before his illness. His muscles were still weak and it would take months for him to be able to walk unsupported, if he would ever be able to again—it was something he tried not to think about, fear curling deep within his chest at the thought of his abilities changing so drastically. At least he was strong enough for crutches now. They were made from slender wood that reached his forearm, partially wrapping around it in a cuff. A leather wrapped handle at hand height allowed him to grip them comfortably. It wasn’t perfect—Cyno’s arms were weak and even more prone to fatigue than his legs—but it worked well enough for short distances and was easier to use than the alternatives. Gandharva Ville wasn’t known for its accessibility.

Collei didn’t offer to help as he hobbled his way toward the table. He was grateful for it. Cyno wasn’t a particularly prideful individual, but he wasn’t sure he could bear that from the child he had saved. It was bad enough when he had to rely on Kaveh or Tighnari for such simple things.

He sat at the table and leaned his crutches against a nearby chair, relieved to be off his feet. Collei watched hesitantly, likely feeling somewhat awkward, before she finally joined him.

The deck boxes were well made from beautiful wood and leather. Collei handed him both of them to pick between, and Cyno glanced through each deck.

They were competitive and synergistic, which was exactly the play style he enjoyed. Somebody had spent a lot of time and money on these.

“You said this was a gift from Nayab?” Cyno asked, looking up at her.

Collei bit her lip and nodded. “He gave them to Mahamatra Taj for you. I think a few of the other matra helped too?”

Cyno’s hands were gentle, almost reverent, as he looked through the cards again. An emotion he couldn’t name welled up in his chest.

It shouldn’t have been surprising. Cyno had played hundreds of games with his matra to pass the time on long missions or after working hours. It was one of the few ways his subordinates could convince him to go out with them. Nayab, in particular, had spent months trying to convince him to play during the worst of his sickness. And yet, to know that they had paid such close attention to his favourite cards that they could imitate a deck he would create showed a level of care he hadn’t thought possible from anybody but his closest friends.

“I hope you one day realize how truly cared about you are, Cyno,” Taj had said.

Shaking himself from his reverie, he picked the more complicated of the decks and gave the other to Collei. She always preferred the more straightforward tactics, but she had been branching out the last time they had played, several months prior.

There was a routine to TCG, and despite the time that had passed, Cyno fell into it with ease. He felt himself relaxing as they played.

Draw, roll, play cards, attack, pass turn.

He was never one to make conversation during games, but even he could feel the tension growing between them. It felt like the moment before a wave’s crash, when the water pulled back with the tide before rushing forward to slam against rocks and stone.

Cyno cleared his throat.

“How are you doing?” he asked, hoping to break the tension that felt like cracking ice. “Have you lessons been going well?”

“They’ve been fine,” Collei said. “The other Forest Watchers have been helping for the last few weeks, since Master Tighnari has been busy.” She kept her attention on her cards.

Right. Tighnari had been with him, so Collei would have had to get her instruction elsewhere.

He wondered if she’d felt hopeless for those long weeks, when her illness progressed as his did—albeit not as severely. Did she even want to continue her education knowing how little time she’d had left? Did her goals change now that there wasn’t a death sentence hanging over her head? Collei was so young. She’d never had the opportunity for dreams without the reality of her Eleazar shattering the image, no matter how carefully constructed. Cyno was lucky that way. His illness appeared in adulthood, although he wondered if he would have done anything different if his condition had been more similar to Collei’s. He suspected his decisions in life would have remained that same.

He felt a hollow pang in his chest at the thought.

Cyno cleared his throat. “Are you planning on staying in Gandharva Ville?” he asked.

Collei played a card. Her brows furrowed.

“Why wouldn’t I?” she asked.

“I just thought maybe there was something else you’d want to do now that your Eleazar is cured.”

She dealt three damage to his active character.

“Gandharva Ville is my home. I wouldn’t leave it just because of that. I want to become a Forest Watcher and a medic. Only Master Tighnari can teach me those things.” Her voice was steady, but there was a hint of something else in it.

They both rolled for the start of the turn.

Cyno played two cards and passed to her. The tension seemed to grow with each moment.

“Collei,” he said the next time it was his turn. He kept his gaze on his cards so that he wouldn’t have to face her. “It’s okay if you’re uncomfortable around me. You don’t have to force yourself.”

He motioned for her to take her turn, and Collei slammed a card onto the table.

“I’m not uncomfortable around you,” she snapped with uncharacteristic anger. Or, rather, uncharacteristic of her for the last few years. It was closer to the fury she held when they’d first met.

She took a deep breath, visibly calming herself. “I’m hurt and I’m angry.”

Oh.

“Collei-” he began, unsure of what to say, but she cut him off.

“How could you?” she asked, some of the fury returning to her voice. “You told me to trust people, to let them in, to trust you, and then you lied for years! I understand not telling me, but how could you keep it a secret from Master Tighnari? I thought you loved him.”

“I do-”

“I thought you were dead when I first found him crying on the floor,” she sounded choked. “He was holding one of your shirts and I thought- but no, you were just dying from an illness you hid despite knowing it’s something I had too!”

Her words were quiet when she spoke next, as if all the fight had fled her. “I couldn’t travel to see you,” she whispered. “I had to wait here for Lisa’s letters because Tighnari was too devastated to write. You would have died and I wouldn’t have even had the chance to say goodbye.”

She tightened her hands into fists, staring down at the cards in front of her. Cyno knew she wasn’t crying—Collei refused to allow that if she could help it—but she was close to it.

He reached across the table to lay a hand over one of her fists, a steady ache between his ribs from knowing just how much he had affected her. It was naïve to think otherwise, and yet...

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Collei, I'm so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

“Then why?” she asked in that same meek voice. It reminded Cyno of Mondstadt, of the little girl so desperate for somebody to trust, somebody to care for her.

He squeezed her fist.

“I can’t tell you,” he said. “I don’t really know myself. All of my thoughts were just excuses.”

Collei clenched her jaw, her shoulders trembling as she stared down at the table. “That’s cruel,” she said.

Guilt curdled in Cyno’s stomach like soured milk. “I know, and I’m sorry I can’t do better.”

Archons, how he wished he could do better; wished he could mend all of his broken relationships. This was the last thing he’d ever wanted to happen.

“Collei, I- if you want-” he cleared his throat. “I know you’re closer with Tighnari than me, but if you want comfort…” He raised one arm, a silent signal he would hug her if she wanted.

Perhaps Collei had grown more than he thought she did, because Cyno didn’t expect her to take him up on it. To his surprise, though, Collei pushed herself out of her chair and quickly rounded the small table. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders tightly, hiding her face in his shoulder like she would if he was Tighnari.

The chair creaked beneath their combined weight, but held. Cyno was thankful—he didn’t think he could keep himself up otherwise, let alone Collei.

It was awkward at first. Despite his offer, Cyno still wasn’t sure what to do. Lisa had hugged him before she left, and it was common for Kaveh to, but Tighnari was too careful when touching Cyno now.

Cyno took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. He wrapped his arms around Collei and felt her soften into him. She sniffled against his shirt and hiccuped a quiet cry, her hands twisting in the fabric at his back. Cyno held her closer and rested his cheek against her hair. It smelled of the same Sumeru rose shampoo that all the Forest Watchers used—that Tighnari used.

His eyes burned as the fabric beneath Collei’s face dampened with her tears. He supposed this has been a long time coming for her. Maybe for both of them.

She really had her whole life ahead of her now, and Cyno realized with an ache that he was so glad he would get to see it.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, whispering into the wisps of her green hair.

Collei tightened her hold on him before pulling away. Cyno already missed her warmth.

“I forgive you,” she said, sniffling. Her eyes were red rimmed and puffy to match the damp section of his shirt. “You’re too important not to.”

Cyno breathed deeply, trying to brush away the pain in his chest from her words. It didn’t ease.

He reached out and took her hand, squeezing it.

“You’re important to me too,” he said.

She wiped her eyes on a sleeve and sniffled again. Her expression almost made Cyno laugh.

“I hate crying,” she said. “It’s disgusting, and now my face hurts.”

Cyno did laugh at that, the sound barely a breath, but Collei heard it.

She smiled at him and squeezed the hand he still held back.

For now, it was enough.

#my writing #snippets #my snippets #fingernails the colour of rust outtakes #eleazar!cyno

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beecreeper · 2 months ago

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what does briar think of auntie ethel? do they get along or is it sort of a "stop cramping my style" situation. what do you think auntie ethel's most vicious mockery for the lot of the fellas would be

Sorry for the last response! I had to chew on those vicious mockery lines for a while. Long answer under the cut!

Briar is mad as hell at Ethel for taking her eye and not fixing the tadpole thing. She went to Ethel pretty late, after talking to Halsin about the tadpoles but before defeating the goblins. She kinda went into denial when Halsin said that their tadpoles were special and not removeable without traveling to Moonrise, so she convinced the party to go try out that weird old lady they had talked to earlier. The whole party got progressively more uncomfortable as it became PAINFULLY OBVIOUS that Ethel was a hag and not to be trusted, but Briar kept dragging them along anyway because she was myopically obsessed with getting her tadpole out. She took the Ethel’s deal while the rest of the party was yelling “GIRL WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING???” Afterwards Briar was PISSED and wanted to track Ethel down and FORCE her to take the tadpole out, but she (read: me the player) was unable to find the entrance to Ethel’s lair and also all her companions wanted to have a stern talk with her about why she’s behaving like a crazy person (leading to them forcing her to admit her memory loss that she’d been keeping secret up to that point). But yeah anyway, they didn’t have any other interactions beyond that which is honestly a shame but that’s how it rolled.

As for the vicious mockery:

Briar – gonna take shots at her memory loss mostly, since that is by far the thing that makes her feel the most vulnerable and weak.

“I got a good look at that empty skull of yours when I took yer eye. Want a few new holes to match?”

“You thinking gutting folks is gonna tell you who you are? You must be dumber than you look.”

(If encountered in Act 3) “It must have been so easy to spill the brains from that soft head of yours”

Molli – there’s a lot of lines in game already that would work really well for Molli also (the line for Astarion about “liking being leashed” is particularly applicable). The general pattern would be lines that allude to her being a slave, “belonging” there, or enjoying it.

“Don’t worry petal. I’ll get you chained up again soon enough, where you belong.”

“You call that horrid screeching ‘music’? It’s no wonder someone was so eager to gag you.”

(If she’s romancing Astarion) “A slave for a slave? You really are pathetic.”

Ferox – Lines for Ferox are gonna attack all the worries he has about his bloodlust, his broken oath, and his missing past. Honestly, the in game line “All that bloodlust! A little tap and I bet you wouldn't know friend from foe!” is something what would hit him HARD.

“Bones, oaths, mirrors – is there anything you don’t break?”

“Play the hero all you want, it won’t wash all that blood off of your hands”

“Do you even know how many people you’ve slaughtered, you braindead butcher?”

Myrala – The easy joke is to make fun of her hand, but the ones that would really hit her are about being useless or wasting her “redemption”

“You’re no better than the slum rat you started as.”

“How does someone manage to work so hard to do nothing?”

“Need a hand, underscum?”

Poppy – the thing Poppy feels worst about it leaving her parents behind and how she never gets to *really* connect with people because she feels like she *has* to keep moving.

“You half breed mongrel. You don’t belong anywhere, do you?”

“I’m gonna send you back to yer mama in pieces, half pint”

“Maybe you’ll finally stay put if I put you in the ground.”

#durge briar #durge ferox #tav molli #tav myrala #tav poppy #text posts

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noamuth · 8 months ago

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Sometimes I like thinking about how a Dal camp companion would work.

Like, after going too long between Long Rests with Dal in the party, he will start to show signs of pain not unlike the way Gale does. But, unlike Gale, Dal does NOT confide in you at the moment. You have to take a Long Rest and speak to him at camp, choosing careful dialogue options to get him to admit that he has a fairly new but chronic back injury--it's been too long since getting the injury to heal by magic means (it's "healed" as much as it's going to, the same way that a scar can be a cause of pain but is the "healed" form of the injury), only rest helps to sort of.. "reset" it.

Initially, having him stay behind in camp leads to huffy, indignant comments like "Good luck. You will need it without me." Both because he feels as though he's being treated as weak or being seen as a liability.

BUT, with enough approval/friendship and knowing his situation, removing him from the party will cause him to actually thank you for the chance to rest because he knows you care about him, and when he joins the party again he will remark on how refreshed he feels.

Using healing magic on him will obviously work to replenish health, but will earn negative comments from him.

He makes negative comments about things like the sun and the heat, and awe-struck and positive comments about things like flowers and art (especially fashion and jewelry, but also scenic paintings about places he's never been before).

Dal will make negative remarks to and about any primarily-magic-wielding party member to show the player his displeasure about magic and, in part, his insecurity around magic users.

His banter towards everyone is somewhat antagonistic at first but slowly softens more into curiosity:

He goes from hating Gale to asking him questions about the world because he realizes Gale is too eager to teach to be judgemental about it. In return, he offers analogous information about the Underdark to satisfy Gale's curiosity.

He goes from being bigoted towards Lae'zel to appreciating her skills in combat as well as her knowledge on Illithids despite her young age, as well as feeling a bit of connection in the fact that neither of them are from Faerun.

He goes from being incredibly suspicious of Astarion and thinking him whiny about his past, to feeling a kinship with him because of their pasts filled with cruelty once Dalamus realizes that his past was, indeed, cruel. They're Double Trouble when together in battle, and share a similar sense of dark humor. They bicker like divorcees who still care a great deal about each other.

He goes from being distrustful and even fearful of Shadowheart (as a Trickery Domain Cleric), to appreciating her practicality and sarcastic wit. He also finds her bickering with Lae'zel and Astarion incredibly amusing and will egg them on sometimes.

He goes from being annoyed by Karlach's unquenchable cheer and zest for life, to admiring her ability to see the bright side of everything. Her hope is contagious and she helps him to see that he's not just an outcast, but a survivor, and now he's free. She also likes to show him new things for them to enjoy together.

He goes from being aggravated by Wyll's heroic attitude to admiring his determination to Do the Right Thing even though evil choices are incredibly tempting and even sometimes more profitable, especially when being enforced by a devil.

Halsin, Jaheira and Minsc I don't know much about yet, so I can't say his opinions

Like a few characters, Dal goes through a religious change, which one can influence--carefully. One leads to a Bad End for him, while the other leads to a Good End, whether romantically involved with the player character or not.

Bonding scenes with him may include (idk how many there usually are): eating dinner and talking about food, seeing him work on stones, sitting with him while he stargazes, talking about the Underdark and what he misses about it, talking about the surface world and his difficulty adjusting to it, talking about his fear of being abandoned by Lolth and feeling alone, giving him a gift (maybe a particular stone, or a journal from a drow who left Lolth and found a better life [saving this idea actually 👀])

#missy rambles #like REALLY rambles #ooc #strighym companion

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sunny-d-anomaly · 1 day ago

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It’s my turn, I guess. I’m Sunny D. Anomaly, formerly known as Ocularfracture. Clem & I used to be LJ buddies back in the days when I used to write whiny blogs about how “bad” my life was when I was too young & dumb to realize how good I had it. I didn’t know at the time that Cloves was not real. It doesn’t bother me, though, because there was a human behind it. This human is a great writer and a super groovy person for actually coming forward. It’s brave.

Me, I’m not so brave. I had wanted to stay out of this and be anonymous because I am a coward and really hate the dipshit I was when I was in my early 20’s. (I’m 36 now. Been through a lot of terrible shit that changed me, and I wanted to push the idiot I once was as far away from who I am now as possible, which is why I stopped going by Ocularfracture and faded into obscurity.)

I never expected a dumb and shameless thing I did as a dumbass kid to have the consequences it has, and I’m just as much to blame as Clem, if not more so. Clem, I know how you feel about blowing your shot (however microscopic it could’ve been) with an artist you admired because of something you did that could’ve prevented all this.

I’ve been so ashamed of how foolish and shameless I was to the point that I couldn’t bring myself to admit it, but it must be done. And I know I’m gonna get a metric fuck ton of backlash from this which is gonna cause me to spiral too, but it’s what’s right. I haven’t gotten this far in my life and made so much progress on myself to keep awful secrets when knowing about them could help someone.

So. Ready for awkward story time?

Pry gonna kms after sharing this because it’s so stupid and embarrassing and shameful, but here goes.

Probably a bit before Clem invented her blog and followed me, I was in my friends list, looking for someone or something. And it caught my eye that JV’s screen name had a slash through it. I was curious, so I clicked on it, and it said the blog had been removed and the name was available. All I had to do was pay a one-time fee to change it, and it was mine. Before that, I was Harukura.

I thought it would be cool to have the username of my favorite artist and didn’t see the harm that could come from it since all my posts were private.

But then one dipshitted day I was feeling like shit about my art (which I deserved since it was sooo bad back then) I had a moment of weakness and shouted myself out as a shameless plug. Don’t get me wrong, I regretted it and took the post down. But somehow, someone dug it back up, and I now have to answer for it.

If you don’t believe it was me, read the tagline of that journal when it had the rainbow rocket. They’re translated lyrics from a Japanese song called “Rocket” by a band named Plastic Tree. Look it up. And maybe look at the friends list and see how many of them are friends of sunny_skye, which I changed my username to after realizing what a shitty idea it was, and trying to separate myself from it.

I am not proud of any of this in fact, I feel lower than scum. Please never look at my art anymore. I feel like this is the best way to get what I deserve for shamelessly plugging myself. I won’t even argue about the hard life of a starving artist and how hard it is to gain exposure because if my art had actually deserved the exposure, it would have gotten it.

In fact, I’ll just quit making art. Y’all can yell at me and call me as many names as you feel are necessary. It was a shitty thing to do and I am deeply ashamed of myself, no matter how long ago it was, how unmedicated I was, how young & dumb I was…

I’m not the same person anymore. But I’ll serve my time for my pointless crime. And maybe I’ll game over as well because I don’t deserve less.

I’m sorry, Clem. I’m sorry, Jhonen. I’m sorry everyone. Youth is wasted on the young, it’s true.

The seemingly most emo thing I feel I could be doing during all this chaos is starting another blog by the same name. However, a lot needs to be said and Twitter/X is just not a good platform for long, honest posts about how I fucked up.

Indeed, it truly isn’t my fault that there are people in this world who would rather believe their own misinformation and cleave to it as gospel, than admit they were wrong. It’s clearly delusions of grandeur going on in all this, particularly by one X user who goes by “legoldenflakestrudel,” who, rather than believe every ounce of proof I’ve struggled to procure for her, chooses to call me everything from AI to “barely literate” (in spite of my writing which she also keeps complimenting because she refuses to believe it was written by me).

According to her, I couldn’t be the same person because I don’t tweet the way I write, especially in 150 characters, and because I don’t look like the fictional character I was writing about. Of course I don’t. She was a figment of my imagination. I created her. And most authors don’t write characters who are cookie cutter carbon copies of themselves, unless it’s autobiographical.

Clover was fiction. Not autobiography. I don’t understand why this is so hard to accept, save for the fact that this particular user seems determined to condemn an innocent man who has brought nothing but joy and inspiration to so many. Even noted artist Sunny D. Anomaly (formerly Ocularfracture) cites him as the reason she became a comic book artist.

For those reading this and not in the know, I will explain this from the beginning. Oddly, it all started 12 years ago, and little did I know what sort of a mess it would cause. God, this sounds like the beginning of some cheesy paperback novel. I swear to you, it’s all true, or my name isn’t Clementine Yorke. Yeah. That’s my real name. Did you honestly think someone named Clover E. Fields was a real person?

But back to it, for the truly confused.

Twelve years ago, all the way back in 2012, I was a lonely college dropout but I still wanted to pursue a career in literature. Things in my life weren’t the best, and I wanted an escape from myself. I wanted to feel like I was in college again, I wanted the drama, the gossip, the sex… the… the friends… :\

So I invented a character. Several characters down the line, even, but Cloveryfields was the first one I made, and whose skin I really crawled into to flesh her out as a person.

It started with just a paper journal; a little spiral tie-dye thing with purple pages marked with peace signs. But I kept leaving it at home which is when inspiration always struck, so I decided to create a live journal account that I could access from anywhere.

I admit, I got way more into this character than was probably necessary, creating various other social media for her, and spending long hours writing blog entries, even backdating some of them so I could write about things that happened in her past. For a while, she was all that kept me going. Whenever I’d had a rotten day, I’d come home and go straight to my laptop without even eating, and just write about what Clover’s day was like.

I would vanish into her and write about *her* troubles, which were far more interesting than my own meaningless ones. Sometimes it felt like the words were just flowing through me, like she was part of me now and I didn’t even have to think, I just let the words come… and at the end, I’d proof read it and think, “I wrote this?”

After a while, that began to frighten me. I was even making art for deviant art saying it was hers. I was posting on Facebook, even getting a friend to help me look more real. Slowly, I began to feel like I was living two lives and possibly even making Clover real enough in my head that I could easily form a split personality and not even know it.

So, for a long time, I took a break. I posted one last thing about moving away and then left it to rot for a bit. When I started writing her novel, I made sure to do it in the third person so that I wouldn’t attach my psyche to it. Once I felt I had detached myself enough from it, I visited the blog a few more times to tie a nice little bow on the story, and that was the last time I posted.

I never deleted it, as the novel still sits unfinished, but since I’ve neglected it for so long, I’ve been locked out of the account and the email I created for it was terminated due to inactivity.

Now, if you aren’t in the know and reading this out of curiosity, you’re probably wondering what’s so awful about this whole thing, other than getting dangerously caught up in it. Well… I made several errors. Things I hadn’t even thought of until all this drama started a few days ago.

One was, to appear like a person who used a blog, I added some people as friends. One such person was noted artist, Jhonen Vasquez. It was innocent, adding him. I added multiple artists I admired. Unfortunately two of them have gotten swept up in all this because of me. Mainly Jhonen, but also the aforementioned ocularfracture who, until this evening, wished to remain anonymous. She feels she might be able to help though, since she somehow got linked to it all, and I hope to god she can.

Continuing on, though… because my character had an unstable relationship with someone named Jho (a Malaysian name of a kid I’d known in school who had anger management problems)… for some reason, this guy came to mind when I was picturing instability, so I just used the name.

I honestly didn’t even make the connection that Jho and Jhonen are even spelled with the same J-H-O. It never occurred to me at all. But here we are, twelve long years in the future, and here’s a bunch of people causing all sorts of drama about the blog, claiming Clover was a real person who was in a relationship with Jhonen Vasquez and abused by him. There’s apparently even some imposter claiming to BE Clover, which infuriates me endlessly.

It’s apparently not bad enough that a work of fiction was mistaken for autobiography, or that these truly depraved individuals somehow assumed based on nothing, that it was written about Jhonen. No, they have to make it all worse by being a flimsy sock puppet of my own intellectual property, just to insert themselves into the drama and condemn a man who has done nothing wrong.

I have been busting ass trying to get back into any of those old accounts so I can prove that I am who I say I am and clear his name…

But it’s really thrown me into a depression spiral. I feel like a tremendous asshole for ever writing anything that could be misconstrued, even if unintentional. I feel like I’m the reason… because I AM the reason that this wonderful artist has been made to suffer so much. And that truly hurts to know.

I never met Jhonen. Always wanted to, but never got the chance. Now I never will, for sure. If he even knows I exist by now, he must despise and detest me as the source of all this unnecessary suffering he’s been put through. It’s like… “way to go, Clem! Way to fuck up the life of someone you loved and respected.”

It will haunt me for the rest of my life, however long that might be at this point… because the more I think about this and how stupid it was and how easily it could’ve been avoided, plus putting myself in his shoes and imagining how damaging this must all be for him… I feel like a life for a life. I ruined his, so I owe him my own. Old fashioned rules that somehow make sense as I sit here freeing to death and waiting, hoping, praying that I got all my made-up credentials right, so that I can log back in and end this nonsense.

That’s the problem with getting too deep into a character. You make fake names, birthdates, security questions that don’t even apply to you… and you have to actually remember them or it’s game over.

And if I can’t sort this out, it’s game over. And even if I do, I still doubt if I can live with myself after knowing what I inadvertently put another human being through.

We’ll see what happens. Until next time,

Cloveryfields, aka Clem Yorke

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violettelueur · 4 years ago

Text

GOJO SATORU + RYOMEN SUKUNA || WHEN THEIR S/O STOPS PLAYING WITH THEIR HAIR

| featuring : gojo satoru + ryomen sukuna from jujutsu kaisen

| warnings : grammar errors but other than that n/a

| form : headcanons

| published : 12 december

| request : Hello!! I really love your works- they are very wholesome and fluffy 😚 I was wondering if I can request a jjk headcannon or imagine for sukuna and gojo with a (gn/fem) s/o where they run their fingers through their hair or back and just scratches gently and the guys kind of purr?? And when mc stops, they just grab their hand and put it back to where they had been petting them? 😅 lol. I kind of see them both acting like a cat with their s/o and I think it’s cute 🥺 thank you so much!!

| barista’s notes : hi hi hi! barista violettelueur is here and ready to serve the coffees for the day ʕ •ᴥ•ʔゝ☆ i can’t lie my neck kinda of hurts because when i came home from school, i took a nap and probably slept in a very awkward position.....oops ʕ ﾟ ● ﾟʔ but other than that, i hope the person that requested this little headcanon enjoys their order of a cup of classic black coffee (jujutsu kaisen request!) and please come again soon!

GOJO SATORU:

Gojo lives for the feeling of your fingers running along his back and neck as well as the feeling of you playing with his hair - he just loves it.

This little act of yours always calms him down after a long mission or when he feels like he just wanted to rest - which is like a good 99.99% of the time I believe

Sometimes he teases you when you do play with his hair even though he does like it when you do it - don’t ask why it’s probably just his personality.

“Oya? Is my hair that soft honey~?”

Sometimes you would just ignore it because you know in the back of your mind, he doesn’t mind it at all - rather he loves it - since he does lowkey purr in his sleep when you do - especially when it’s when your fingers are running along the back of his neck and back.

However, other times you would tease him back by just suddenly removing your hand and just casually continue what you were doing like reading your book, going through your phone or maybe watching Netflix.

100% of the time, he would start acting like a full-on child and pout at you before whining about why you stopped, only for you to still ignore him.

“Why did you stop~”

Maybe if you didn’t tease Gojo, you wouldn’t be in the situation that you are in right now idiot…..

If you still continue to ignore him, he would just grab your hand and place it back to its original position before waiting patiently for you to move your fingers again - maybe tease him a bit more by not moving at all mate….hehhehe

If you do continue to tease him, he would legit stare at you with a small pout, no matter how long it will take.

If he has to, he would showcase his beautiful eyes because he knows that it’s your weakness - don’t worry, it’s mine too and I ain’t ashamed to admit it.

But when you do start to run your fingers through his hair, he would smile brightly at you before giving you a small sweet kiss to which he then goes back to snuggling with you.

Overall, he feels like in heaven when you do run your fingers through his hair - it’s just the caring and loving feeling that he gets from it that he loves.

RYOMEN SUKUNA:

Look, I have no idea how you got him to go with the idea of you running your fingers through his hair, let alone touching him - but somehow you got there in your relationship with the King of Curses.

However, when you do run your fingers through his hair, you make sure you also do that same with the back of his neck and his back - because you know he would complain if you didn’t. What can you say? He likes being pampered and also this is like one of the only times where you get some silence from him.

You don’t tell him this because you know he would never let you cuddle with him again if you did, but when he does fall asleep in your run when you run your fingers on his skin, he does purr loudly to the point where it isn’t like a cat - it’s more like a lion at this point.

Some people forget this, but Sukuna does have some markings on his back as well as behind his neck - so the fact that you acknowledge them makes him feel prideful (and loved but he won’t tell you that).

But what you learned during your cuddling time with him is to never stop moving your hand - even more than ¼ of a millisecond...yes, it’s that serious.

How did you learn this little rule? Well, well, well, let me explain to you.

You were probably trying to get something that was far away like your phone, so you obviously removed your hand to go reach for it since it was the closest to it.

But…...you suddenly felt a hand tightly grip your wrist just a fingertip away from Sukuna’s back, scaring you slightly until you saw the black bands that were around the person’s wrist - hahahaha you’re in trouble~

“Did I tell you to stop?”

“Sorry, I was trying to grab my phone and I thought you were deep asleep,”

“But did I demand you to stop?” - okay dude relax yeah, they just want their phone mate….

After an intense stare-off, he would just huff in annoyance before placing your hand back to where it was originally before demanding you to continue what you were doing.

He doesn’t tell you this, but he really loves the feeling of you playing with his hair as well as scratching his back - lowkey reminds him of some nights (Barista Violettelueur this is an SFW cafe…..stop it)

However, you already knew about this since when you would do this, you would feel his arms tightly wrap themselves around your waist as if he was telling you not to stop and that he just wanted to stay in the position that you were both in forever.

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mackenzielovee · 3 years ago

Note

Omg your writing is novel material 😻😻😻!! Can you do a rafe x reader where there’s build up to the fact that he takes your v-card?? And is like all proud and cocky BC he loves the ~innocence~ but gentle at the same time :0000

a/n: hey babes!!! thank you so much for this request. I would have never written something like this on my own, but actually really enjoyed writing this. I hope I got it right, I tried to include it all in here!! Let me know what you think!

Warnings: swearing, sex scenes, mentions and conversations of losing virginity, and Rafe acting like a king

Word Count: 3.5k

my writing

my one and only - rafe cameron

You're laying on Rafe's bed, absentmindedly scrolling through your phone as you wait for him to finish his shower. He had invited you over, and when you showed up, he just told you to wait in his room and he'd be out in a bit. You huff, finally hearing the water shut off. You can't help but be annoyed - that boy uses up all the hot water before he gets out.

He swings open the bathroom door, a towel wrapped around his waist, and smirks at you. His chest is completely exposed and still slightly wet from his shower, and he watches as you shamelessly rake your eyes over every inch of his skin. You quickly forgive him for taking so long, because it's given you this view.

"Thought you might join me," he smirks at you, coming over to the bed and leaning down to give you a quick kiss.

"Thought you might hurry up since you knew I was waiting," you fire back, giving him a playful glare.

He laughs at you and steps to his dresser, removing his towel and sliding shorts on. You watch him and he knows you watch him, which makes him smirk. He doesn't even bother with his shirt, because with what he has planned, he won't need it.

He turns and jumps on the bed, laying himself down beside you. You grin at him as he does this, watching as he sits up, then grabs onto you and pulls you on top of him. He can already feel himself getting riled up, he's been with you for almost a month now and really, really wants to fuck you.

He immediately starts to kiss you, one hand on your waist and another traveling down your back. You kiss him back, loving the way he tastes. One of your hands goes into his hair, making him moan as you pull on it. His tongue pushes its way into your mouth, which you very much allow. He brings his hands down to your hips and starts moving you against him, moaning into your mouth at how good it already feels.

"Rafe," you groan, feeling your body as it gets excited.

He ignores you, bringing his lips down to your neck and kissing the skin in between your jaw and neck. You let out an involuntary moan, which only encourages him more. His hands travel under your shirt and grab the skin on your stomach, and when Rafe tries to pull your shirt off of you completely, you stop him.

"Rafe, we should chill out," you say, pulling away but staying on his lap.

He looks at you, not quite understanding why you're stopping him, but agrees. He lets out a frustrating groan, but doesn't speak.

You don't want to tell him you're a virgin. Not with how experienced Rafe is. You just believe in your heart that he'll be disappointed with your performance or your body - you're afraid he won't want you anymore if he knows the truth.

"What's going on with you?" he asks finally, afraid to even reach out and touch you because you might pull away from him again.

"What do you mean?"

Rafe licks his lips and sighs, not wanting to sound like an asshole for asking why you won't have sex with him. But every single time he tries to make a move, you deny him and cut him off. He at least wants to know why, or if he's doing something wrong.

"I just don't understand. I mean, I just took my entire fucking towel off in front of you, but you won't even let me see you with your shirt off. What is that? I mean, are you, like, not attracted to me or something?"

You shake your head immediately, "No, Rafe. That's not it, I just-"

"You just what, then?" he asks, meaning for it to come out more gentle than it does.

You take his harshness for impatience, and you wonder if you should just suck it up and give him what he wants. But the thought of losing him makes you afraid.

"I'm a virgin, Rafe," you whisper.

You climb off of his lap and then get up off the bed, sure this will be a dealbreaker for him. Rafe Cameron, you think, the party king and the guy who's probably had the most sex of anyone on the island, is not going to want to put up with your inexperienced ass.

"What?" he gasps, sure he heard you wrong.

You don't speak, you just pick up your phone, and then your bag from the floor. You don't hear Rafe get up from the bed, but when you start toward his bedroom door, he's rushing around to stop you.

"Where the hell are you going? Sit down, let's talk about this," he coaxes you, removing your bag from your shoulder and putting it back on the floor.

You sigh as he leads you back over to his bed, both of you sitting down on the side. He doesn't speak at first, mainly because he doesn't know what to say. You don't either, so the two of you sit in silence for a bit. He finally looks over at you, but his look isn't disgust or confusion. It almost looks like admiration.

"So," he starts, then stops, then starts again, "So, you're telling me-"

He stops himself again, not wanting to offend you or make you uncomfortable. To be honest, the idea of nobody touching you makes him feel like a damn god. Only if you'll let him be the first one.

"I've never had sex," you confirm, speaking slowly to make sure he understands.

"No, yeah, I got that part," he nods, "But, have you..."

"No," you answer. You're not sure what the question is, but you're sure that's your answer.

Rafe's your first real boyfriend, and you don't sleep around. Ever. Obviously. You don't believe in that. You want your first time for it all to be with someone you trust. Someone who will take care of you.

"And, like, is that a thing where you're waiting until marriage, or..." he trails off, afraid of your answer.

"No," you say quickly, watching his neck snap over to you, "I just want to... be with someone that I trust."

Rafe nods his head, not realizing that his eyes are literally taking in every inch of your body. He can't believe you've never been touched by another guy. He can't believe someone as attractive as you can be so pure and so innocent. It completely and totally turns him on.

"Do you trust me?" he asks you after a few minutes.

You look over to him and he looks at you, his eyes looking soft. You reach over and take his hand, then give him a smile.

"Of course," you say. He grins, the thought of him being your first literally makes his heart jump.

"So, I mean..." he trails off again, not knowing how to ask you without sounding like a horny douchebag.

"I want to, Rafe," you say, watching him smile, "I'm just nervous about it."

He nods his head, understanding completely. He brings his hand up and starts to rub your back gently to comfort you.

"I get it," he replies, "I'm right here to help you through it. And we don't have to do anything, not if you don't want to."

You smile up at him but shake your head, watching as Rafe lets out a breath of relief he didn't realize he was holding in.

"I'm just relieved that you're okay with it," you admit, "But I want to. I want to with you."

He feels as if he could fly right now as you say this. You want him to be the first, your first, to see you and touch you and kiss you all over. Just the thought of you makes him want to strip down right now.

"Of course I'm okay with it, baby," he smiles.

You lean in to give him a kiss, which he gladly returns.

Rafe takes you to lunch at the club later on, but he leans down and grabs the leg of your chair and pulls you around so you're sitting beside him at the table instead of across from him. He keeps his arm wrapped around the back of your chair. He hasn't stopped smiling since your conversation earlier. He looks around at the club, knowing that none of these dudes managed to get a girl who only wanted him. He feels like one lucky motherfucker.

He leans over and whispers in your ear as you two wait for your food, "You really want me to be your first?"

You blush immediately, knowing nobody heard but still looking around to be sure.

"Rafe," you hiss. He loves watching you squirm, but he really just wants to hear you say it again.

"You really do?" he asks again, biting his lip to hide his cocky grin.

You laugh, leaning over and kissing him quickly, "Yes, Rafe Cameron. I want you to be my first."

He grins against your lips, and you would've never thought in a million years he would be this cocky about the whole situation. Truly, you thought this boy would run for the hills.

"Holy shit," he mumbles to himself.

He leans forward in his seat and puts his hand on your leg under the table. You smile, loving the feeling of his skin on your own. He starts to gently run the base of his fingers up your leg, stopping about halfway up. He watches you take a deep breath, knowing he's getting to you.

"So," he leans over, whispering in your ear again, "You're telling me, nobody's hand has ever been here before?"

His voice comes out so dominant, so arrogant, and you love it. He knows exactly what he's doing to you.

You shake your head. He smirks against your ear, giving you a little kiss there. He starts inching his hand up again, watching as your breathing picks up. You can feel yourself getting excited, and little do you know, Rafe already is.

He stops his hand right where your shorts rest, wanting to curse as he looks down. They're so short, and you look so good in them.

"And here?" he asks quietly, his voice raspier now.

"No," you shake your head again, your voice coming out weak. That makes him grin.

"Hmm," he hums into your ear. He leans even closer to you, moving his hand up and unbuttoning your shorts.

"Rafe," you warn, getting uncomfortable with the fact that his hand is about to be inside your pants in a public area.

"Nobody's looking, just trust me," he whispers.

You try to relax, but are completely unable to. He wraps his other arm tighter around you, then carefully slides his hand underneath your shorts. He can feel through your underwear how excited he's made you, which only makes him grin. He shoves your underwear aside and traces his fingers along your core, making you gasp lightly when you feel the cold metal of his ring on you.

"What about here?" he asks you, smirking widely now as he watches the expression on your face.

"No, babe," you look over at him now, your eyes beading into his. He smirks and kisses you, a little rougher than usual, then pulls his hand out of your shorts.

"Just checking," he sits back in his chair now, completely content with himself.

You, on the other hand, already feel like a mess. You try your best to discreetly button your shorts, but every nerve in your body seems to be going crazy as you relive the feeling of his hands on you.

He watches you try to wipe the frazzled look on your face, but can't because you feel like every single person at the club knows what Rafe just did to you.

You sit back after a few minutes, relaxing as you convince yourself that nobody could actually see under the table and Rafe had been correct when he told you nobody was looking. To be honest, the feeling of him touching you did not compare to any feeling you have ever had in your life. You really, really wanted him to do it again. But maybe not at the club.

The next day, you go over to Rafe's just after dinner, and you finally have your head on straight. You honestly, truly want to have sex with him. You trust him with your heart, so you should trust him with your body, too. He invited you over to just hang out and watch a movie in his room, not bringing up sex at all. So neither had you. But you surely did plan on it.

Rafe's laying in his bed on his phone when you enter. He smiles up at you and stands, coming to give you a kiss.

"How was your day?" he asks you, setting your stuff down on the chair in the corner of his room.

"Fine," you shrug, "What about you?"

"Same," he replies.

He lays down on the bed and opens his arms for you to crawl in with him. He wraps both of his arms around you and holds onto you for a long time, neither of you saying a word. Having the presence of the other seems to work for the both of you.

"Rafe," you say after a while, afraid he's fallen asleep.

"Hmm?" he hums to you, sounding like he's getting sleepy.

"How does tonight sound?" you ask him, moving so your chin rests on his sternum as you stare up at him.

He opens one eye and looks down at you, trying to figure out if you're serious or not. When he believes you, he pops open his other eye, then brings his hand up to stroke your hair.

"I'm not pressuring you, baby. When you're ready," he replies.

You are silent only for a minute, then move your eyes back up to look at him.

"I'm ready now, Rafe."

His head snaps down at you, a grin forming at the corners of his mouth. He leans down, pressing a kiss to your forehead, then relaxes again.

"Are you sure?" he asks, searching your eyes for even an ounce of hesitation.

"One hundred percent."

That's all he needed to hear. He grabs ahold of you and flips you over on the bed, crawling on top of you and attaching his lips to yours. His tongue quickly starts exploring your mouth. This time, you don't object when he pulls your shirt up off your body, and when he looks down at you, he groans and kisses you again.

Every move he makes feels even better than the last. You love watching as he removes his own clothes, as he kisses down your stomach, to your underwear, pulling them down. Every moan and sound you let out only feeds Rafe's ego, knowing no guy has ever made you make those sounds before. It's literally music to his ears.

His head is between your legs before you know it, and you moan as he leaves small, wet kisses on the inside of your thighs.

"Tell me again," he whispers against your leg, kissing you again.

"Rafe," you whimper, wanting him so bad.

"Tell me again, baby, and I'll take care of it."

You let out a frustrated sigh as you stare up at the ceiling. You have never felt this need, this hunger, this want, for anyone else in your entire life. You just want to feel him, everywhere. All over you.

"I want you to be my first, Rafe," you tell him, feeling him smile widely against the inside of your thigh.

It's just what he wants to hear as he moves his head a few inches over, and gets to work. He listens to every groan, every whimper, every moan of his name, and he fucking loves it. He vows to himself that he's the only man that will ever hear you make those sounds, and his name will be the only one you ever scream out.

When he's finished with you, he kisses back up your stomach, still able to taste you on his tongue. He finds his way back up to your lips, giving you a long, deep kiss in hopes that you can taste yourself on him.

He reaches over to his nightstand and opens the drawer, grabbing a condom from it without breaking your kiss. He puts it on himself, smirking at the idea of eventually teaching you how to do it for him, and then kisses you again.

"Rafe," you say again, the desperation audible in your voice.

"Are you sure, babe?" he asks you one more time, stroking your cheek with his thumb.

"Oh, my God, yes, Rafe," you nod your head. You've never been more sure of anything in your life. You know for a fact he will be taking such good care of you.

"Well," he smirks to himself, "You'll be saying that a few more times tonight."

You laugh and whack him on the chest, but you're sure he's right. If it feels half as good as what he had just done to you, you'll count yourself lucky.

You feel pressure and a bit of pain as he enters you, but are relieved when Rafe lets out a very loud, satisfied groan.

"Holy fuck," he swears.

You whimper, but keep yourself relaxed, knowing it will help it hurt less. He looks down at you and kisses you, moving extremely slow inside of you so as to not hurt you. He moves his head down into the crook of your neck, mumbling out more curse words.

"You okay?" he asks you after another minute.

"I'm okay," you confirm, the pain finally starting to subside.

"Just tell me when it starts to feel better, I'll go faster."

You nod but don't speak, just try to adjust to this new feeling. After another minute or so of him moving very slow, you tell him he can go faster. He obeys immediately, groaning and cursing even louder now.

"Jesus, baby, you feel so good," he tells you, making you smile.

Every fear you ever had about Rafe not wanting you goes away as you listen to the sounds he makes. After a few minutes, it starts to feel like heaven for you too, and Rafe feels relieved once you start moaning and telling him to move. The second you say his name, he spills everything he has into the condom.

When he pulls himself out of you, he's almost thankful that it was your first time, because he's embarrassed he didn't last long. You just felt so damn good around him.

"Oh, my God," he pants as he collapses beside you on the bed.

"I know," you agree.

He turns his head to look at you, watching your chest rise and fall with your breaths. You look so beautiful, and it's still so unreal to him that you chose to trust him with such an intimate moment of your life.

He reaches over and pulls your body into his, wrapping both of his arms around you and kissing your shoulder. You feel extremely lucky, like you definitely made the right choice on waiting for a guy like Rafe to come along.

"Thank you for trusting me," he whispers in your ear, then brings his lips down and kisses your neck over and over.

"Thank you for being so sweet and understanding," you smile, stroking your hand up and down his arm.

You turn around in his arms after a few minutes and stare at his face, taking in every single little detail you can find. His kind eyes, his sharp jawline, the way his hair gets in his eyes when he doesn't gel it back.

"You're beautiful," he whispers, smiling softly at you.

You know he's full of shit, but the comment makes your stomach turn. In a good way.

"Thank you," you reply.

"Do you regret it?" he asks you after a minute, afraid of your answer.

"Hell no," you smile at him, which makes him smile in return.

"Good," he laughs, "Because, just for the record, I plan on being your one and only. Never to be touched by another man as long as I shall live."

You set your head on his chest and giggle, feeling his arms pull you into him.

"Is that a marriage proposal?" you scoff.

He laughs, then looks down at you with a cheeky look in his eye.

"Maybe after round two," he said, then moves quickly out from under you to on top of you.

You laugh loudly, yelling out as he lands on you. Rafe Cameron can't remember the last time he was this happy. So yeah, he's pretty sure it'll turn into a marriage proposal. Married after dating for a month? Crazier things have happened in OBX.

#drew starkey #rafe outer banks #outerbanks netflix #outerbanks #outer banks netflix #outer banks #rafe x reader #rafe x y/n #rafe cameron imagine #rafe fanfiction #rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe imagine #rafe fic #rafe

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redhoodieone · 3 years ago

Text

His Girl Part 2

Warnings: Language, SMUT, heartbreak, and fluffiness.

“Jay…” Y/N breathes against Jason’s lips. Her eyes shift from his emerald eyes to his adorable pout. “You don’t want this with me. You shouldn’t want this with me.”

Jason pulls back from her and his face falls. The look of heartbreak pains Y/N, but she can’t help but feel the way she feels, because why would someone so attractive and perfect like Jason want with a short, chubby, and plain looking girl like her?

Jason lifts Y/N’s chin so they can see eye to eye. “I’ve wanted you since the day I met you. Sweetheart, when you first looked at me, I was done for. You know, I never believed in God. You know damn well I’m not the religious type, despite the jokes from the league who say I could have been a priest in another life,” he says with a small smile. He holds his hand up as if he’s taking an oath. “But I swear to God when I first saw you, I thought you were an angel. You stood there, you were lovely and gentle, and at that moment I knew something good had to exist in this fucked up world because you were brought into my life, and you made me want to be a better man...for you.”

“Dick’s right. He’s right about me. You don’t want me, Jay. I’m nothing special. I’m not beautiful. I’m not skinny. I’m not smart, funny, or even interesting,” Y/N admits.

“How can you even say that to me? Did you forget our talk last summer?” Jason says carefully, his gaze never breaking hers.

“I didn’t forget, Jay. I just don’t think we should start anything up between us. It’ll just-”

“So, what am I not good for you?” he snaps, his tone is harsh as he accuses her.

“What? No! I didn’t say that. Why are you so mad at me, Jay?” Y/N asks quietly.

“I’m not mad. I’m hurt,” Jason admits, before he decides he can’t stand the distance between them anymore. With both hands, he roughly grabs Y/N’s hips and pulls her body closer to his. He moves one hand up her back until he’s holding the back of her head; forcing her to keep her eyes on him. “Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to see you talk to other guys? Do you know how difficult it is for me to stand by and see these other assholes get to touch you, kiss you, and fuck you? Do you realize how close I’ve gotten to ‘accidentally’ shooting Dickie-bird in his balls just because you were flirting with him? I couldn’t stand it sweetheart, and I still can’t.”

Y/N’s eyes widen in surprise at Jason’s confession. The pull is too strong for both of them to ignore. Jason takes a chance and lowers his head to kiss Y/N. His lips are initially warm and rough, but they fit perfectly against her gentle and soft lips. The second Y/N kisses Jason back with as much fervor, he realizes his feelings couldn’t be one-sided.

The kiss wasn’t deep yet. They barely pull back enough to breathe before Jason takes the reins and rests his forehead against hers. He teases her by leaning in to kiss her but then pulling back when her lips chase after his. She inhales sharply when his scent fills her nostrils; his exotic, smoky woods, sandalwood, and spices make her weak in her knees that she has to hold both his forearms to keep herself steady. Luckily, Jason manages to hold her up, and he brings her close enough to grind his evident bulge against her core. “Please...please let me show you how much I want you. Let me show you how beautiful you are to me and how much I want all of you,” Jason whispers against Y/N’s lips.

Jason’s green eyes burn into Y/N’s eyes. She licks her lips. “Okay,” she breathes out.

Jason surges forward and slams his mouth against Y/N’s. He wastes no time licking her bottom lip, seeking entrance to taste her and have her in ways he’s always imagined. When she opens her mouth wider, he falls deeper when he realizes her taste is addictive, and he knows this can’t be the last time he’ll kiss her. Their tongues rub and stroke each other’s, and he bites her bottom lip.

He pulls back only to see if she wants more. The look of lust in her eyes is enough. He carefully pushes her backwards until the back of her knees tough the bed. She crawls up to her pillow so she can lie down, her hair fans out around her, creating an illusion of an angelic halo.

Jason looks down at Y/N with adoration. He knows for a fact he’s never looked at a woman like this. He knows she’s the first and will be the last woman he’ll look at like this.

He can tell she’s nervous to make the next move. He smiles softly and begins to undress himself. Kicking off his boots and socks, he shrugs off his jacket and his Kevlar armor. He notices she’s watching intently, biting her bottom lip.

Jason can’t help but smirk. Once he shoves down his pants, he’s left in just his boxer briefs, which nearly exposes how hard his cock is for her.

He crawls on the bed until he’s hovering above her. His hands move to her pajama pants, but he doesn’t pull them down just yet.

“Are you sure you want this?” Jason whispers to her. His voice is deeper and rougher.

Y/N nods her head. “Yes, I want you, Jay,” she whispers back.

Jason kisses her softly to help her relax. He tugs her pajama pants down to her knees. He pulls back from her lips and sits up when he realizes she’s not wearing any panties. He raises an eyebrow and smirks. “No panties?” he teases.

“I...I don’t like to sleep with underwear on,” she confessions shyly. He thinks it’s cute when she blushes.

“That’s perfectly okay, doll. Now that I know, maybe I can join you in bed sometime?”

Y/N giggles at that as she watches Jason move down until his face is in front of her pussy. She quickly sits up and tries to cover her modesty.

“Wait, you-you don’t have to do that. It’s okay. You don’t have to,” Y/N stammers.

Jason smiles softly at her. He quickly sits up to kiss her, to get her to relax. “I know I don’t have to, but I want to sweetheart,” he says, as he helps Y/N remove her top so she’s completely naked in front of him. His hands rub her arms, chest, and stomach, which seems to help her lie back down. “I want to eat you. I want to eat this delicious, wet pussy so much that you’ll be cumming all over my face.”

Y/N blushes more as Jason grins smugly and winks at her before he lowers himself back down to lick her folds. She gasps out in surprise and reaches down to grab his dark hair to tug.

“Oh God,” she whines out.

“Fuck baby girl, you taste so fucking good. You’re sweeter than apple pie,” Jason moans out.

He sucks her clit on the borderline of pain and pleasure, and when he releases it, he can see her pupils dilate with lust.

Jason smiles against her pussy and uses his fingers to part her folds so he can circle her clit with his tongue. He knows he has experience going down on women, but he also realizes that every woman is different. Deciding to show her a few different ways to cum, he switches up his methods. As he continues to rotate between licking and sucking Y/N’s clit, he pushes a finger inside to warm her up. And with all the noise she’s making, he knows he’s on the right path.

“Oh fuck...Jay. Finger me harder,” Y/N pleads.

He keeps his eyes on her. When she tries to close her eyes, he slaps her thigh. “Keep your eyes on me, sweetheart. I wanna see you cum,” he demands.

Y/N opens her eyes, and it makes everything better for him. Just feeling how tight and wet she is drives his cock to twitch hard in his underwear. He adds a second finger and strokes up against her walls. He can feel she’s close to cumming just by her clenching his fingers. He licks and sucks her clit faster and harder, as he drives a third finger inside her and rubs against her g-spot. He has her now. She’s going to cum for him and he’s excited as fuck.

“Oh, fuck! Oh, my God! Jay! I’m cumming!” Y/N cries out. She sits up and pulls his hair harder.

Jason keeps his eyes on her and hums for her to go ahead and cum. He refuses to take his eyes and mouth off her. He needs her to cum.

With his fingers fucking her pussy loud enough to create that wet, sopping sound, Jason wraps his mouth against Y/N’s pussy to catch her cum. He moans in delight at her taste, and he can feel his cock leaking more precum in his underwear. Once she calms down from her hard orgasm, he quickly stands up and pulls down his underwear.

Y/N is stunned to see Jason’s cock. She knew he was big, partly because of his pants and boxer briefs displaying his rather big bulge. But seeing it in person and up close is different. She knows he’s above average, but his cock is thicker than she imagined. She swallows hard when the red, swollen tip leaks precum.

Once Jason’s completely naked, he climbs on top of her. Y/N reaches to stroke his cock, but he gently moves her hand away. “As much as I’d like you to touch my cock and maybe suck on it, I don’t want to cum that way. I want to cum in you,” Jason says softly.

When his cock brushes against her pussy, Y/N knew she needs inside her. “I want you to cum inside me. Please...please fuck me,” she pleads.

Hearing her beg does something to him. Jason kisses Y/N hard and moves his hand between them to push his cock inside her. She gasps breathlessly as he groans at how well she’s taking him. She’s tight, warm, and wet, and he knows he’s not going to last long. He looks down at her and his heart swells at the fact that she’s looking up at him as if he is her world. His hands move all over her body, tracing scars and stretch marks, as her own nails scratch down his arms and back.

Y/N takes Jason by surprise when she bites his jaw and giggles when he nips her neck. The intimacy between them is what makes them happier in the moment. But when the tip of his cock brushes against her g-spot, she clenches around his cock, causing his thrusts from going slow to fast and hard now.

“Jay...fuck me harder. Faster, please,” Y/N begs breathlessly.

Jason’s hips slam into hers, his pelvic bone rubs deliciously against her clit. She squeezes around him again, and he knows he won’t be able to last longer. “Okay, sweetheart, okay,” Jason chokes out. He angles his thrusts to be deeper and to hit her sweet spot every time.

She wraps her arms around him and brings his face down to kiss him. He moans against her mouth, and not being able to breathe properly is doing something to him. He quickens his thrusts and moves a hand in between them to rub her clit hard and fast to match his thrusts.

Y/N and Jason break apart to breathe and she throws her head back. He watches in awe at her falling apart because of him, her orgasm takes him by surprise. She cries out his name. She cums hard around his cock and soaks him in her sweet juices that forces his own orgasm out of him.

“Fuck...Y/N, fucking Christ,” Jason moans loudly. He grunts hard and moans when he slams deeper inside her, coating her insides with his seed. He squeezes her hips and thrusts a few more times until he’s sure she’s gotten all his cream.

When he pulls his cock out, he can feel himself get hard again from just seeing his cum seep out of her pussy.

Jason inhales hard and collapses next to her. His arms instantly wrap around her, and she willingly cuddles against him. Fear runs through him, though. “Please be mine...” he dares to whisper. He wonders if she even heard him. The fear of rejection scares him more than anything right now.

“Yes, I’ll be yours,” Y/N whispers back. She kisses his chest and lies her head back down on him. She falls asleep to his even breathing and his hand rubbing her back.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning was a rude awakening for Dick Grayson. He couldn’t believe his own eyes. Out of him and his family, Jason was supposed to be the shallow, man whore who slept around with girl after girl every night. Jason was supposed to be less likely one to find a girl, actually fall in love with her and be serious. Because anyone who knows the Batboys knows each of them are viewed a certain way.

Bruce is the playboy billionaire.

Dick is charming and sweet.

Jason is rough bad boy.

Tim is intelligent and kind.

Damian is a cute demon spawn.

And even Alfred is a badass savage.

When Jason and Y/N announced their relationship, Dick smirked to himself. He knew there was no way Jason was ‘serious relationship material’ and he knew their relationship would end before it even started.

He’ll fuck up. He always screws up because he inevitably fucks up everything he does, Dick thinks to himself. And once he does, I’ll be there for her, and she’ll be mine.

But Jason never fucks up, not with Y/N. To everyone, Jason and Y/N are beautifully perfect together. Dick does manage to fix his friendship with Y/N, and the two are closer than they’ve ever been. It isn’t until after Jason and Y/N’s one year anniversary that Dick finally accepts their relationship.

Because it wasn’t long until Jason got Bruce and Alfred’s blessing to propose to Y/N. The engagement ring is a beautiful black solitaire diamond, and the reason doesn’t confuse Dick at all, because Y/N isn’t like other diamonds.

Their wedding is something out of a fairy tale storybook. Dick had to admit that seeing Y/N in a wedding dress made him cry, because he knew she would have the time of her life with Jason on the honeymoon.

Three years later, Jason and Y/N announce they’re having their first child together, a boy, the news actually made Bruce tear up because Jason and Y/N were giving him his first grandson.

Call it fucking karma, but Dick finally saw just how beautiful Y/N was, as a wife and a mother.

But Dick was just a little too late.

And now she was Jason’s.

His girl.

#dc comics #batman #dc comics batman #jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd x y/n #jason todd smut #jason todd x reader smut #jason todd x y/n smut #red hood #dick grayson

758 notes · View notes

yeahimaloser · 3 years ago

Note

Oooo I also got another good request how about a hawks x reader childhood friends they grow up together she took his punishments for him yk they have each other’s back and then in the future a villian attack and she ALMOST dies but no she gets save then hawks realizes he loves her and it’s all fluff at the end eek

Ok so, I literally love this request so much, I have no idea why it took me so long to write, but it's finally done!

Oh my god it took so long.

they/them pronouns used.

8k words! please enjoy!

16+ a bit suggestive at the end.

. . .

You sniffed, a hand wiping across your face as tears stung your eyes.

You had been training with the commission for a while now, almost a month to be exact. And it was so hard. In fact, it felt more like they were specifically targeting you.

You looked over at one of the other kids in the commissions program, Keigo, he seemed to have no problem with this exercise, in fact, you would have thought he was excelling at it.

But you could only sit and watch as his little wings flew past you.

You were only pulled from your family recently, but you knew that Keigo was here longer than you were. You rarely talked to him since your arrival, maybe it was because part of you didn’t want to become friends with anyone, maybe it was a small way of acting out, you didn’t know why, but you didn’t like him. He was just so much better than you.

Ever since you first came here, you’ve felt weak. You felt inferior to Keigo, you couldn’t help but compare yourself to him, watching exciede everyones expectations.

Compared to him, you were nothing but a dull blade.

You look down at your hands, cursing them as if that would do you any good. Your eyes stung again, the dust prickling against your eyelids.

The exercise was not supposed to be a difficult one, in terms of the gruelling training practices that they made you do, this one was pretty easy. All you had to do was get from one point in the commission's training facility, all the way to the other side of said facility. A simple running exercise. Although the floors were littered with traps, making it harder for you to get there, you knew it was supposed to be easy. And yet, for whatever reason, you had such immense difficulty.

Your quirk was mostly made for combat. It was the power they gave you the ability to control metal through your will. And although others might find it useful, you found it so difficult.

The problem was, your power was flashy, and yet not as easy to use as one might think. The metal had to touch you, which means that you have to get a hold of some metal object. And although technically you would be controlling it through your mind (Making it fly through the air at your own will) the object couldn’t be very heavy. Whatever metal object you wanted to use would weaken you. For example, controlling a knife was no problem, but controlling a 20 pound ball of metal was extremely difficult. which made your quirk almost completely useless here. Doing a running exercise, like you were doing now, there is little to nothing you could do with your quirk. The only times that your quirk would actually be useful, was during rescue missions or during an attack with multiple heroes in a big city with a lot of metal that you could touch. But that wasn't the case, and you hated it.

As you sat in the corner, trying desperately not to show your tears, you felt a gust of air as you looked up, only to be met with red wings.

“Are you…Ok?”

You never noticed how pretty his eyes were, the honey color’s made his features look so much softer.

After a few minutes, you realized he was still waiting for you to answer.

And for whatever reason, you felt your whole face becoming hot.

“I’m fine.” You said all too quickly.

He raises a bushy eyebrow at you, his face quizzical. “If you’re sure, but we are partners.”

You rolled your eyes.

You two were never truly partners. In this compound, there was only yourself to be concerned with.

“Stop pitying me, I can help myself.”

He smirked, “You say as if you’re not on the ground as we speak.”

You felt your face heating up again as you sprang to your feet, your eyes quickly narrowed, trying your best to seem composed.

“Why did you come back for me?”

But Keigo just shrugged, “Saw someone in need of help.”

That was the last straw.

You angrily stomped away. Who was he to judge you? Who was he to act like some hero? You knew he was the commission's golden boy, they loved him, he was their best weapon.

And you knew he was bright enough to know that as well. Although he never got any special treatment, you could tell by the way they trained him, how they paid more attention to his abilities and not so much the other’s.

Including you.

You felt something pull at you, something tugging you back.

You turned to see- a feather?

“Hey wait a sec,” Keigo said, “I wanna ask you something.”

Your face hardened, you two should be getting back to training soon, you knew the instructor would most likely yell at the two of you for falling too much behind.

“Ask your question and let's go,” you said, huffing.

“Do you want to be friends?”

The question caught you so off guard, causing you to stumble over a rock in front of you.

You whiped back to him, your eyes widen as you realized he was completely serious.

“Wha- friends? What the hell are you on about? There are no friends here, that's an idiot's dream.”

But Keigo only shrugged, “Well, then I guess I’m an idiot.”

You stared back at him, a look of pure disbelief written on your face.

Was he insane? Having friends here was almost imposible. The commission made sure of that, pitting you two against eachother, comparing you to one another, they made it so you would fight amongst yourselves.

“Why would you want to be friends with me?” You asked, your voice barely a whisper.

But he just shrugged, “Because I'm curious about you, and that crousity makes me want to befriend you.”

You stilled, thinking and thinking till your brain hurts.

“Look, you don’t have to say anything right now, I know I probably caught you off guard, and if you don’t want to, I understand… I think-I think I’m just lonely.”

You pursed your lips, still thinking it over in your mind before you grabbed his hand.

“Look, I’ll think about it, but first, let's get this race over with.”

Keigo smiled, blushing a bit as you two took off, hoping you two would becoming good friends.

. . .

And as time went on, you two did, in fact, become the best of friends.

By the time you were both teens, you and Keigo (or Hawks as his hero name) became the commissions pride and joy.

Although you were always so surprised that they didn’t want to through you out, Keigo was so much better than you, and you had fallen much behind him.

Keigo was faster, smarter and stronger, you knew that, you knew that all to well.

But, the commission never removed you, you continued to train to become a hero, right besides Keigo. A part of you wondered if maybe you were only kept on because of Keigo, maybe the commission saw how close you two were, watching how much you mattered to him, and maybe they thought they could use you to their advantage.

The thought made you shiver, mostly due to the fact that it wasn’t impossible, and more than likely.

One night, as you and Keigo lay under the stars on the roof of the commission's building, watching the night sky above.

Suddenly, Hawks turned to you, “Hey Y/N,” he said, “can I ask you something?”

You nodded your head, feeling your heart flutter.

“Do you....do you want to become a hero with me?”

You smiled, “Isn't that the whole reason we’re here? To become heroes?”

But Keigo just shook his head, “No I mean...what do you want to do? With your life?”

You took a pause, you’ve never really thought about it all that much. What did you want to do with your life? You’ve always just done what others have told you to do, always choosing to follow others rather than yourself.

You realized you had never thought about it before, never taking into consideration your feelings, you just worked to survive.

“...I don’t know.”

You hated saying it, it felt like such a childish thing to admit, especially with Keigo. Keigo, who’s figured out his life goal already. Keigo, who’s living out his dream. Keigo, who has most of his life planned out.

“I mean- I guess I’m not used to choosing for myself, you know? I’m not sure how to go about… figuring out my life without someone telling me how to live it first.”

But Keigo just nodded, “No, that makes sense, I mean, you’ve lived here most of your life, you’ve worked to become a hero, but that's really only because you were taught to be one. It’s ok to not know what you want out of life, and don’t worry, I’ll be here to support you, Y/N.”

Keigo turned to you, a smile plastered on his face.

That beautiful, amazing, breathtaking smile.

You felt your face become flushed, and you sat up quickly so as to not have Keigo notice.

“Yeah well- thanks,” you said softly.

But Keigo just laughed, “Don’t worry about it dove.”

. . .

Years later, and Hawks had become the number two pro hero. And you hadn’t done too badly yourself, coming in at the number eleventh spot.

You didn’t mind being behind Hawks, in fact, you found yourself becoming a bit proud of yourself because of how far you had made it.

Right now, you were busy on portal, watching citizens go about their day on a rooftop above.

You watched closely, wondering what kind of life you could have been living if you had never chosen to be a hero, wondering if you too, would have been walking on that very same street as some other hero observed you from afar.

Somedays you found yourself wondering if the hero commission hadn’t taken you away, had let you lived your life for yourself, what would you do? Who would you become?

You wondered if you would have met Keigo as well, or if that would only work if you had been with the hero commission.

Maybe in that universe, you two could finally be together.

It happened a while ago, when you figured out your true feelings for Hawks. Although, maybe you always had feelings for him, since you were little kids. But, you had feelings for him had began to bubble over, you found yourself wanting to spend more time with him, wanted to keep him to yourself. But you would never act on these feelings, you knew better.

Keigo Takami would never be yours, not in a million years.

You let out a sigh, just as you heard boots hit the ground behind you.

“Miss me,” a familiar voice asked.

Even though you had known Hawks since you two were kids, you were always caught off guard by those dazzling eyes, the honey gold color swirling around as he stared down at you, pinning you to your spot on the roof.

You smiled, “Hawks, I just saw you.”

He shrugged, “So? I still missed you in that time.”

You rolled your eyes, “Did you come here to bother me or do you actually have a reason to be here?”

His hands flew to his chest, dramatically saying, “Oh angel, how you wound my poor heart.”

You giggled, “Aw Hawks, always the flare for the dramatic.”

He smiled, but then his eyes got serious, “But I do need your help with something, a mission not too far from here.”

Watching Hawks in action was like watching an artist at work, he was careful, skillful, even downright majestic. He took care in his work, he worked quickly and efficiently, like a well-oiled machine.

And, not to sound too cocky, you two made a pretty good team. And considering you two were very close friends, you vehemently enjoyed working with him.

Although, maybe it was cuz you also had a little bit of a crush on him.

Your face felt flushed at the thought, but before you could think your mouth had already said yes.

“Oh? Are you just agreeing so you can spend time with me, little dove,” Hawks smiled teasingly.

He had a habit of doing this, it was a little game he would play on you. teasing was so fun for him, but he didn’t realize how it gave you such butterflies.

Luckily though, although you did have feelings for him, you learned how to push them away for situations like this.

You scoffed, “Hawks, would you just give me the rundown. Or do I have to call the commission myself?”

He put his hands up, “Wow there chicky, no need to get antsy, I’ll explain everything, ok?”

He told you about the mission, nothing to fancy, in fact, it was quite easy.

Some of his sidekicks had noticed some suspicious activity near a specific location near U.A that the commission wanted to be checked out. They had said that they didn’t want another attack to happen yet again to the school.

On the outside, it might have seemed like the commission gave a shit about the kids in U.A, but you knew better. They just wanted to look good, and right now, this was the best way to do that.

“So basically, if we do see any suspicious activity, we’re allowed to bring anyone in there for questioning, and if worst comes to worst, we have orders to use force.”

You nodded, sounded just like a normal mission for the two of you, should be no p.

“Alright,” you said, “Sounds easy enough. Should we head over now? How will I get there?”

But Hawks seemed to be one step ahead of you.

He held out his hand, a smirk plastered on his dazzling face, “Just hold on to me, sweetheart.”

. . .

You’ve flown with Hawks before, considering how close you two were it was understandable that he would have offered a number of times.

But still, it Always made you so giddy.

The way he held you, so secure in his arms, his face inches away from you. And that gleam in his eyes, it always felt like it was only you and him in that moment, only you two in the entire sky. And each time, it made your heart shudder.

“You ok there, dove,” Hawks asked in your ear.

You jumped a little, surprised by his words. You realized you had begun spacing out while looking directly at him.

You composed yourself, “Just keep flyin’ bird brain. I’m just thinking.”

You could almost feel his smirk, “Thinking? Thinking of what, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Drop it Hawks.”

“Oh,” he said, his tone mischievous, “just like I can drop you?”

Just then, you felt Hawks serve mid-air.

“KEIGO,” you shouted, not even thinking.

But Hawks had regained his hold on you, the prank only lasting for a second.

He laughed, his chest shaking, “You should have seen your face, Chicky! Ha! That was funny!”

But you would disagree, “I swear to God, Hawks, I’ll punch you when we land.”

But you thought for a second, “Sorry I called you your name...so loud.”

Keigo didn’t really like his name, opting to be called ‘Hawks’ instead.

But you knew why he preferred his new name instead. Because of his past.

Keigo was a kid left in the dirt, left and discarded, a remnant of a past that wasn’t so pleasant. You knew that thinking about it only brought pain to him, and saying his name out loud would only remind him of a past he would rather soon forget.

And the name ‘Hawks’ had marked the beginning of a new life for him. It was a way for him to move on past that old life, a way for him to become the best version of himself.

“Sorry,” you whispered.

“It’s ok… I don’t think anyone heard,” Hawks said.

His grip on you seemed to be tighter, more secure.

“And also, you know I would never drop you, right? I could never hurt you, ever.”

You rolled your eyes, “That’s so cheesy. Just don’t drop me and it’s fine.”

. . .

The place wasn’t too bad.

It was an old supply garage, there were about four people from what you could see.

It was definitely near U.A, you could see a clear view to the school, although it was far, it definitely had a vantage point. You could see why this could be a problem, and your brain hurt thinking about what villainous thing they could be planning.

You could hear the guy closest to you, it was a bit hard but you honed your ears.

“So, you all have everything,” a man asked in a scratchy rough voice.

“Yeah,” one of the others said, “everything's here, make sure to give it to Shigaraki with our gratitude.”

You looked over at Hawks, but his eyes were trained on the villains, his black pupils sharpening and watching their every move, before he nodded, signaling to move out.

And then, everything happened in a flash.

Hawks, as always, moved fast and quick, and you come up behind him.

Hawks grabbed one of the men, and held back the other two with his feathers, leaving only you and the two others.

You pulled out your handy metal staff, preparing yourself to bend it to your will.

But you never got the chance.

One of the men smirked a gun in his hand. The other behind him, activating what looked like an ice quirk.

And before you could think, you felt your feet being Frozen down to the hard metal floor of the garage.

“What the hell,” you mutter to yourself.

you tried your best to wiggle your way out of it, but you saw no way to free yourself from your icey binds.

Luckily, with your fast thinking, you grabbed the metal staff, shaping it to hit one of the men square in the jaw, making him drop his weapon.

the other one was taken aback, a perfect opening for your staff to hit him in the face.

But your feet were still frozen to the floor, and a few whacks to the felons was not going to be enough to take them down.

You racked your brain, Hawks was too far away, and there was no way you could get out of the ice on your own.

You brought your metal stuff back, using it to break the ice on your feet. Just as the men were getting back up.

You ran over, preparing to hit one of the men right in the face, a blow big enough to knock them out.

But you never got the chance.

The other man tackled you to the floor, your back hitting the ground.

“Not so tough now, are you, little hero.”

You looked over at Keigo, but there was no use. He was too busy fighting his own battle, and you knew it wasn't fair to rely on him.

So, with all your strength you pushed the man off. Using the metal floor to help you.

Just then, an idea occurred to you. It was risky, but it could work.

You knew that Keigo was far enough for it to work, it wouldn’t hurt him, but the only problem was it wouldn’t trap the two villains he was fighting.

But, considering he was the number two hero, you knew he would be just fine. You trusted him in that.

The ground beneath you is made of metal, you could feel it beneath your feet. You could also feel the two men running towards you.

You dodged their initial attacks, but you knew that they would soon overpower you. You also knew that you couldn't kill them, but you could hurt them.

So your best bet was to trap them, and yourself, before backup came.

You hit your palm against the floor, willing it to your mind. It was a long stretch, and you could feel the strain on your body. The toll that it was taking was immediate, your muscles felt tired, your brain even felt foggy for a few minutes, but you kept going.

You made sure that the ground collapsed, but it wouldn't hurt anybody.

You were not expecting, however, for the ceiling to collapse along with it.

There must have been a support beam on the ground as well that you had taken down with the floor, causing the ceiling to come down.

You looked up, seeing the last moment as the ceiling collapsed on you.

. . .

Hawks hated hospitals.

The smell, the people, the pain. He hated it all, but you were the one in the hospital, so of course, he needed to come.

The days after the accident had been hard, to say the least.

Keigo just remembered watching as the rooftop collapsed, watching your bruised body go along with it.

He remembered screaming your name too, yelling and willing all his feathers to help you, to get you out.

He remembered his heart racing and beating so hard in his chest, he remembered his eyes, tears swelling up as his breath ran ragged.

He didn’t even care about the villains, he had caught the two he had been fighting already, but he didn’t care. He needed to get you out, he needed to make sure you were ok.

After digging for what felt like an eternity, there you were, bruised and bloody. But you were breathing, and he held you close, his tears dripping over your cheeks.

He felt his heartbreak, he couldn't stand the sight of you being hurt, he couldn't stand the thought that he had something to do with it.

He wanted you to wake up, he wanted you to wake up so badly it hurt. For you to look up, and teased him about crying. He wanted nothing more than to apologize over and over, for making his friend suffer, even if it was unintentional.

He knew he could never forgive himself, and he knew he could never make it up to you.

Keigo knew you were in bad shape, so he called the ambulance to take you to the hospital. He was there with you the whole way, watching you, helping in any way he could.

He felt like his heart was being ripped out of his chest, watching as your fragile body was rolled away to the special care unit of the hospital, as the doctors told him he couldn’t come in with you.

“Mr. Hawks,” a voice said in front of him.

He flinched.

Hawks wasn’t someone who was easily startled, seeing as he had years of training, but his mind was so all over the place. Worrying and wondering if you were ok, hoping and praying to god everything would be ok.

He couldn’t lose you, and he realized that only now.

If he lost you, how would he even be able to function? You were everything to him, his friend (if he was being truthful, his only true friend) , his rock, the person he could trust for support and help.

To be honest, if he lived in a world without you, he really wouldn’t know what to do…

“Sir?”

He snapped back to reality, his eyes looking up at the doctors.

“Sorry,” he sighed, “I think I’m just a bit off my game today, you’ll have to excuse my behavior. But what were you saying, sir?”

“Well, L/N Y/N has sustained some pretty severe injuries, such as bruising of the sides and hips, and a broken leg,” Hawks sucked in a breath, “We know how to treat it, of course, but Y/N will need much recovery time. That being said, Y/N seems to not have any family or emergency contacts but you. If it’s ok with you, would you be willing to visit as well as look over Y/N in the recovery period?”

Hawks quickly agreed, “Anything doctor, anything you need or Y/N needs...anything at all.”

The doctor smiled at him, “Thank you, Mr. Hawks, unfortunately though, Y/N needs a bit more time alone, but when we deem it ok, you can come back for a visit.”

Hawks felt his shoulders slump, he knew it was selfish, but he had hoped to see you again, to apologize for putting you in that piston, he felt horrible.

The mission wasn't supposed to go like that at all, it was supposed to be a swift and easy fight. It was really just supposed to be the four guys with easy quirks, and they were all supposed to be an easy fight.

Hawks had learned about the hideout in front of U.A a while ago, when he learned it was also a part of the ledge, he went right to Dabi.

“Are you insane,” he had said, “someone will catch you, and personally, I can’t stand by and let you attack those kids.”

“Oh?” Dabi smirked, “And how will you stop us? You’re a part of the league now, bird boy, and we need this lookout, so just shut up already.”

Keigo huffed, “I can’t let you do that, that’s right by my portal area, my bosses will get suspicious, and I look bad enough as it is. I haven’t brought anyone from the league in, soon someone will put two-in-two together.”

It was a lie of course, his bosses knew exactly why he couldn't bring in anyone from the league, they had assigned the mission after all.

But the problem didn't lie with his bosses, it lay with the other Heroes and the public eye. The other hero’s had started to whisper to each other, wondering why the Hawks hadn’t brought in anyone from the notorious League of villains yet. He heard their whispers, and it made him uneasy. He knew if he didn't act soon, they would just grow more and more suspicious. As for the public eye, he couldn't let his image slide, he had to figure out a solution, and this would be the perfect way to do so.

Dabi pondered the idea, toying with Hawks’ growing anticipation, like a cat pawing at a helpless bird.

“Alright, I suppose we can make that work.”

And so, a plan was formed.

Keigo was to swiftly take the four men in for questioning. Dabi had arranged for it so all vital information was to be learned from the lookouts, and then Hawks could swoop in and go in fighting. The other four men would have no idea what was going on, so it looked like the real deal.

They had set up specific times and dates to make sure they would take the men and the lookout down, that way the league wouldn’t lose any vital information.

“I’ll tell you when, don’t start till I tell you,” Dabi had said, “or else there will be problems.”

And Hawks had done as he was told, he waited for Dabi to give him the all-clear, and went in.

But you getting hurt was never a part of the plan.

Keigo felt guilt clawing at his chest. How did he get like this? He was supposed to be the one to protect you, to make sure that you were always okay.

But it seemed like he was the one who got you hurt.

His guilt was suddenly replaced by anger, it made him ball his fist.

Those men were supposed to be easy to take down, they were supposed to be simple to deal with, but even Keigo had difficulty defeating them all on his own.

This was an error on his part, he knew that, but he also couldn’t help but simultaneously blame Dabi as well.

It was his fault that he hadn’t warned Keigo about the strength of the men.

Keigo was going to make him pay….

. . .

Dabi’s head hit the wall with a loud thud, Keigo’s angry eyes boring into him.

“I should kill you right here, right now.”

Dabi laughed, “Look, it wasn’t my fault your little partner couldn’t handle a few guys, ain't they supposed to be a hero? Shouldn’t they be able to help themselves?”

Dabi’s twisted smile made Keigo see red.

“I swear Dabi-”

“The league will come after you, you know that.”

Keigo felt his hands shake with rage, his fingers wrinkling Dabis' shirt.

“What were they to you? You seem pretty upset there, birdy. Maybe….your lover?”

A feather sharpened at Dabi’s neck, Keigo’s fury never leaving his body.

“Say one more goddamn word and I swear to god I'll kill you.”

“Look,” Dabi said, “I didn't know how strong those guys were, I thought that you'd be able to take ‘em down pretty easily. But I guess we just gave ‘em more training than I thought. That's all. Nothing I could have done about it, and nothing you could have done about it. You should know that stuff like this is inevitable, shit is bound to go wrong.”

Keigo released him, his eyes still boring into Dabi’s.

“If I figure out you had some sort of part in this-”

“Yeah yeah, you’ll kill me. I get it.”

Keigo stormed off, walking away from Dabi.

Keigo wanted nothing more than to beat the crap out of someone, anyone, he just wanted someone to blame, someone to feel the way he felt.

The fact that you were in pain only made it worse.

What was he to do now? He couldn’t go home, he would only be able to think about you, only be able to think about your laugh, your eyes, your lips….

He shook his head. Why was he thinking of something like that? And at a time like this? You were...his friend.

But that thought made his heart sink. Like that thought had filled him with dread.

He sighed, shaking his head, this wasn’t about him, it was about you, it was about helping you. Not thinking about his feelings. Or lack thereof.

He felt his phone ring in his back pocket, just before he was leaving.

Looking at the number, he realized it was the doctor's office that was calling.

Without even thinking he picked up, “Hello?”

“Hello Mr. Hawks, we just wanted to ask if you would want to come in and see the patient L/N Y/N, they have woken up. So if you would like to see them-”

“Yes!” Keigo said, a bit too excitedly, “Sorry- about the interruption- but yes I would like to see them.”

“Alright Mr. Hawks, please come whenever you can, they’ve been asking for you.”

. . .

Hawks had never flown so fast, rushing so fast in order to see you, needed to see you.

When he finally got there, he rushed in, finding the receptionist to find your room.

“They’re in room 236 sir-”

But he cut her off, adrenaline pumping through his body.

“Ok, thank you so much.”

Finding your room was easy, and yet, he found himself outside your room, dreading to go in.

How could he face you? How could he apologize? How could he look you in the eye, see what happened to you, and be able to talk to you.

He ran a hand down his face, why was this so hard? He’s taken down many many villains before, and he had never felt as anxious as he did now?

“...Hawks?”

He jumped, he actually jumped.

There you were, standing, only a few inches away from his face, his eyes widened and he could feel his whole body becoming hot.

Why did he suddenly become like this around you? His heart felt like it was on fire, his whole body felt strange.

But your face, it looked so stunning, that for a moment he couldn’t feel his lungs.

“Are you...ok?” He was surprised that his voice finally managed to work.

You blinked, “Yeah, I’m ok. What about you, though? Your face is all red. Do have a fever or something? I can call a doctor.”

“No no,” he sighed, “just...feeling weird I suppose.”

He felt the redness travel from his cheeks all the way up to his ears, “I-I’m fine, really, don't worry about me, I'm actually here to see you.”

You smiled, gazing up at him, “Aww, you can see lil’ old me? How thoughtful.”

You both walked into your room, and Hawks watched as you lay down on the bed.

The hospital room was nothing special, a state-of-the-art hospital room, similar to one's that Hawks had been in many times. Being a hero always came with getting hurt, but seeing you in this condition, made his heart squeeze.

if he could, he would go back in time and figure out a way so that he could be in this situation, not you. You didn't deserve it, you have done nothing but help him, and this is how he repaid you? He felt sick with guilt.

“Hawks?” You said.

He snapped up, like coming back from a bad dream.

But you just laughed your sweet, kind laugh.

Hawks wanted to hear it again, one more time he wanted to hear you laugh like that, it made him feel like everything was drifting away from him like it was just you and him in this entire world.

“You’re totally out of it! What’s gotten into you,” You said, a smile still plastered on your face.

“Sorry, just thinkin’.”

“Yeah well you must be thinking a little too hard there, are you okay? Do you want to sit down? Something's obviously bothering you, you can tell me.”

but hawks just side, “I don’t know, I don’t want you to be upset with me.”

But you just smiled up at him, “Hawks, nothing in this world could make me upset with you.”

And so he told you, about the league, about the secrets he's been hiding from you. It felt good, it felt good to finally confide in someone, it felt like a weight being lifted off his shoulders. he felt at ease, talking to you like you were the only person who would ever understand. And you probably were.

You listened to him, you listened as he told you about what happened, about how sorry he felt, you didn't blame him for what happened, You just listened. You listened and listened and listened.

So when he finally finished, he was scared of what you would say.

“...I’m sorry,” he said.

“Why are you sorry, Hawks you didn’t do anything wrong.”

He looked up at you, “B-but I got you hurt-”

“That’s not your fault though, you had a mission to follow.”

“But I should have never involved you.”

“I'm glad you did, it could have been you that would have gotten hurt,” you said, smiling.

But he just tsked, “It would have been better if it was me, I can’t stand to see you like this, you know.”

Your hands went to his cheeks, bringing his face closer, “And I wouldn’t be able to see you like this either, I would have blamed myself. I’m glad I came with you, even if it meant I got hurt in the process. I care about you, Hawks.”

Keigo couldn’t breathe, you were so close, your lips an inch away.

“Keigo.”

Your eyes widened, “What?”

“I want you to call me Keigo when we’re alone from now on, I...I like when you say it.”

You paused for a moment, and then burst out laughing, “Where did this come from?”

His face went red, “I-I don’t know, just kinda been thinking about it I guess.”

You giggled a bit before saying, “Ok, I mean, if that’s what you want. Y’know, you’ve been acting strange Haw-Keigo,” you corrected, “are you sure everything's ok?”

There it was again, the pitter-batter in his heart, the nervousness in his stomach.

Something was wrong, but he didn’t know how to say it.

He didn’t know how he would even categorize the way he was feeling, he couldn't explain it to himself, much less to you.

“I’m fine, just...overwhelmed I guess.”

He shook his head, “But I should be asking how you are, you're the one in the hospital, not me. Stop worrying, how are you, how are you feeling? What do you need me to do? I'll be here to help you, no matter what.”

You rolled your eyes, “Eventually you’ll have to go home, and I’m totally fine, Keigo.”

By the mention of his name, he couldn’t help but feel his heart squeeze.

“R-right, well, can I just..stay here. With you? Till you get better?”

You smiled, “Of course.”

. . .

While you were in the hospital, Keigo stayed by your side. He never left you, he cared for you, watched over for you, and was so understanding.

It only made your feelings for him deeper, and you were loath to admit that you enjoyed it.

You enjoyed watching him fawn over you, knowing that he was close to you. You two would talk for hours, about anything, and you loved it. You loved feeling him near you, watching his eyes soften and the stupid silly quirk of his smile. You felt warm inside, you felt so at peace with him at your side.

You knew it was selfish, but you couldn't help loving how long you were spending with him.

But, it all came to an end, and you had to go home.

To your surprise, Keigo offered you to stay with him for a little bit.

Just till you get back on your feet,” he said.

Your heart leaped at the opportunity, sharing a house with the guy you had a crush on for years? It felt like you were a lovesick teenager again. Although, you would always be lovesick when it came to Keigo.

At Keigo’s house, he was nothing but polite to you. Although, a bit too polite.

For all his flirting, for all his suave charm, he was never really like that with you. He was just normal, keeping to himself in the house, but always being able to hang out with you or do anything with you if you wanted.

And yet, you could feel the nervousness oozing off of him, like he wanted to say something, but was holding himself back.

Like something was on the tip of his tongue, but he couldn’t get it out.

It, intern, made you just as nervous.

Were you being a nuisance? Did you say something to upset him? A million thoughts running through your head, and you are worried about all of them.

The last thing that you would ever want to do would be to upset Keigo, but you couldn’t figure out what was wrong.

Maybe he felt bad about the accident?

You sucked in a breath, that had to be it. He felt bad, and therefore, was nervous around you.

You have to confront him, you thought, you had to clear the air so you would both feel better.

You decided to wait till tomorrow morning, not wanting to scare or embarrass him well you could tell he was so nervous.

. . .

“Keigo,” you said, a waver in your voice showing how nervous you were.

“Hm?” Keigo looked up from his phone, his honey-colored irises landing on you, only serving to make you more anxious.

You took a deep breath, “I wanna talk to you about something. and it's pretty important, so I'd appreciate it if you could listen till the end.”

Keigo sat up, “What, am I in trouble or something?” He said in a teasing, yet nervous way.

“No,” you sighed, “But I just really need to talk to you about something.”

You took one moment more to collect yourself before speaking, “We've known each other for a long time, we've known each other since we were little kids when we were both put into the commission's program and since we were both made heroes. So you should know, that I know when you're upset.”

You saw Keigo twitch in his chair, but you continued.

“You've been nervous ever since the hospital, maybe even nervous in the hospital. And I don't know what's going on with you. I... I don't know if it was something that I did, or if it was something that happened, but I'm here for you. And I don't like it that you keep this a secret from me. I consider you to be one of my best friends, and I want you to know that you can trust me. No matter what happens, I'll still always love you. Nothing will ever change that,” a smile pulled at your lips as you said your last sentence.

It was silent for a few moments, the air between you too felt heavy and suffocating.

Finally, Keigo spoke, “Y/N, I want to tell you something, but... I'm not sure how you’ll react.”

You tried to speak up again, but Keigo cut you off.

“I know that you're going to say that nothing can ever come between us, and I do believe you. But... something came up and I just don't know how to deal with it. You mean so much to me, and losing your friendship is my worst nightmare. And I guess…. I just got so scared of losing you that I just didn't think about anything else. I'm sorry.”

Your face contorted into one of confusion, “Keigo, I’m not sure what you mean? What are you talking about? What came up?”

But Keigo just sighed, “Y/n I...I think I’m in love with you.”

You felt your heart stop, your eyes widened as your brain was racing.

What did you say? No... that couldn't be right.

Keigo Takami could not be in love with you, he just wouldn't. You had accepted that a long time ago, you knew that he would never have the same feelings that you had for him. You knew that, so what was going on?

“I...I’m sorry?”

Keigo’s face turned a bright shade of pink, “I-I think I’m in love with you. I’m sorry to spring this on you so suddenly, I know it must be a lot to take in, if you’re uncomfortable being here with me feel free to leave. I completely understand-”

But your lips stopped his words, your body pressed firmly to his.

He was started by the kiss at first, but soon, his body and mind became muddled, hands wrapped around your waist as he tasted your lips. It felt intoxicating.

Before you knew it, your hips were straddling him, keeping him locked in his chair. But Keigo wasn’t complaining.

Your lips tangled with one another as moans escaped both of you, your hands unable to leave each other's bodies.

Your hands traveled down his chest, even ripping open the button-down he was wearing, showing his abs and rippling muscles.

“Y/N..” Keigo said, his voice hoarse.

When you looked back up at him, his eyes were narrowed, slanted, and staring you down. But they had a softness to them, one that made your heart flutter.

“Keigo… god you have no idea how much I love you,” you said.

If this was a dream, you never wanted to wake up.

Keigo smirked, “‘s that so babe? Well, I plan to show you just how much I love you tonight.”

His lips attached to the column of your throat, kissing and nipping lightly at the skin. His hands roaming up and down your body made you feel as though you were on fire. His calloused hands stroked your back, making you arch into him.

“K-Keigo,” you moaned.

But he just hummed into your skin, his brain turning to mush, only able to think about how much pleasure he could give you, how much love he wanted to show you.

“Keigo, I love you,” you whispered into the shell of his ear.

Keigo groaned, still occupied with your neck, but pulled his lips away in order to say; “I’m glad,” and smiled at you.

You returned his smile before your lips found his again.

It would be a very long night.

#bnha #bnha hawks #mha #hawks #mha keigo takami #hawks x reader #keigo takami #hawks x y/n #keigo x reader #pro hero hawks #my hero academia hawks #hawks x you #keigo takami bnha #keigo fanfic #hawks fanfics #keigo x y/n #keigo imagine #wing hero hawks

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myafterlifeisbetterthenyours · 4 years ago

Text

OBSESSIVE STOLAS X Male Imp Pt.1

(This is a long fanfic and will consist of multiple parts.)

The day Stolas met you, the life which had been boring at worst and full of love and respect at best, was in complete shambles. Broken ever since the "Brunch incident".

He and his wife were barely on speaking terms, and when they did speak, it would almost exclusively devolved into a fight filled with harsh words and thrown objects.

His darling starfire hadn't spoken to him in over a week. Something he'd usually chock up to teenage angst, but she actively avoided him now.

Something she'd never do before.

And so with his homelife slowly tearing him apart, he naturally thought a visit to his favourite Imp in all hell would brighten his day.

And that's where you came in.

You'd worked at I.M.P for the last few months and were quickly becoming a valued member of the I.M.P family.

Youd just finished a job and were about to fill out the rather tedious paperwork the job entailed, When the towering Demon Prince entered the office.

You were too proud an Imp to admit it, but when you first saw Prince Stolas you were a little starstruck.

Said Prince, apon finding a new Imp at I.M.P's office immediately inquired as to who you were

Taken off guard by suddenly be talking to a Prince of hell, you spent a moment fumbling your words, before finally telling him your name.

Stolas finding the whole thing quiet adorable.

Stolas sparked up a conversation, asking how you ended up at I.M.P and your work with the company. Something you were more than happy to tell him about.

You told him how Blitzø had hired you after youd single handedly killed 3 men in a fight with only a can opener.

Then you told him about how working as an assassin was challenging but enjoyable work, all things considered.

You tell him how working for the chaotic force of nature that is Blitzø was great too, when he wasn't being a prick.

As charming as Stolas found your slightly flustered conversation. There was a purpose to his visit. And so asking you if Blitzø was in, to which you told him he was in his office.

Stolas suddenly became anxious, wondering aloud if his outfit was presentable or not.

This caused you to laugh, placing a hand over your mouth.

Stolas was immediately indignant, demanding to know what was so funny.

You killed the laugh with a cough, before telling him you laughed because simply put "You'd never seen a more ravishing demon in all your time in hell" And for him to be anxious was funny to you.

Stolas Blushed hard, a Warmth he didn't understand spreading through his chest. It had been so long since he'd received such praise from someone who wasnt utterly subservient to him.

Sputtering out an timid thank you, before immediately making his way Blitzø's office, Ignoring your cries to wait.

Being violently thrown out of Blitzø's office was not how he saw this unplanned little 'Rendezvous' going.

Blitzø stepped out stared down at him, a mixture of disgust and anger plain on his face.

'I'm so sick of this shit stolas' Blitzø grumble out, pinching the bridge between his eyes. 'We made a Fucking deal, I come over ONCE a MONTH and fuck your brains out. And you leave me alone unless you have a job for us.'

Stolas tried to reply, trying to explain why he was there. But before he could Blitzø interjected 'I can put up with all creepy perverted texts and shit, but I am not your God Damned SEXTOY Stolas! I don't want to see your ass don't here again!' He screamed, before slamming the door.

Stolas just sat there. Unwilling to move. He felt like he'd just been slapped.

His eyes stung. His throat burned. He clutched at the ground, and even as his world fell apart around him, he could only focus on one thing.

He felt so cold...

He had no one.

No one loved him.

He felt so cold...

It took everything he had not to breakdown, he couldn't, not here. It was unbecoming of a prince to been seen showing such weakness.

The sudden sensation of something on his shoulder. Daring to open his eyes, he was shocked to find You, standing over him. Hand on his shoulder and a sympathetic smile on your face.

You reached into your coat and removed a handkerchief.

Croutching down you wiped the growing dew around his eyes.

Putting away the hanky, you stood up and offered him a hand.

Helping him to his feet, you asked him if he was okay. Stolas immediately tried to put up his aristocratic facade and assure you he was fine.

Only for the words to die in his throat and for him to almost burst into tears again.

Leading him into the nearby office, you find yourself in the conference room. You sat him on said conference table.

Quickly zipping off, you returned a moment later with a little plastic cup of water.

Handing the little cup, he took it with a wordless thanks.

Stolas felt cold.

He felt like his whole world was falling apart. He had nothing.

His wife couldnt stand him.

His beloved Starfire wouldn't stay in the same room as him.

He had nothing and no one.

No one loved him.

Why should he even go on.

Even through there crimson glow, you could see just how close he was to breaking down.

So before his despair could consume him completely, you did the only thing you could think of.

You climbed atop the conference table and pulled the poor owl-boi into a hug.

It was a little awkward due to the height difference, but standing on the table brought you high enough to pull his head onto your chest.

Stolas was utterly shocked, not just by the action itself, But the fact you did this on your own acord.

He didn't have to barter or beg or make promises for your affection.

You just... gave it freely.

He couldnt help himself.

It had been so long since he'd last felt the loving touch of another soul.

And for you to give affection so openly, he felt he could let himself be vulnerable to you. He releases a long anguished cry, bursting into tears.

You just held him close, gently petting his head, whispering words of comfort, telling him everything would be okay.

He didn't know why but your words brought out

Stolas threw his arms around you, holding onto you as though you were the last anchor in his sea of despair.

The poor owl drenched the front of your shirt with his dejected tears.

Stolas didn't know how long he cried for, and you simply didn't care.

You could tell he needed this and were more then happy to give the demonic prince some much needed affection.

Eventually, Stolas shed all the tears he had, standing up he unintentionally pulled himself from your warm embrace.

Stolas instantly missed the warmth of your touch. The same all consuming coldness as before instantly returning.

Looking up at Stolas you draw your handkerchief and go to wipe his tear stained face.

But before you could, Stolas grabbed your hand, his other hand was placed on the back of your head, he pulls you into a kiss.

You weren't sure how to react, stolas certainly didn't give you any time to figure it out as he pulled you deeper into the kiss.

While you were initially shocked by the kiss, you honestly, didn't care to put up any kind of resistance.

While you would of preferred he asked for a kiss, you could tell the guy needed this. And all things considered, you were happy to oblige him.

So when his tongue slid across your teeth, asking for entrance, you wrapped your arms around his neck you let it in, giving stolas full access to your mouth.

You began leaning into the kiss, doing your best to return his passion.

Stolas, took your returning passion as further permission, he became more aggressive.

His tongue dominated your mouth, as his hands began roamed across your body.

Stolas was in bliss, each time you shivered or moaned, bringing him further pleasure.

Taking each sound as encouragement, he became more and more aggressive. Sure that each sound you made was an unconscious sign of love.

He became more desperate to hear your angelic voice as moaned or cried out. Desperate to hear someone say they loved him.

Gripping his head, you tried to de-escalate the situation before it got out of hand.

Of course that was easier said then done, as Stolas was much stronger then he looked. But after much effort, despite Stolas's silent insistence that you continue, you finally managed to break the kiss.

Stolas's forceful nature found you pushed back onto the table. Stolas towering over you, staring down at you with those awe inspiring crimson eyes.

'We cant be this doing this' You try to tell him 'Not here. What if someone walks in on us?' The question hung in the air. When it became obvious it wasn't deterring his growing need you asked 'What if Blitzø catches us?'

Stolas pulled back at that.

Looking to the side he rubbed his arm, Anxiety bubbling in his chest.

Stolas hadn't thought of that.

What if Blitzø did walk in?

Finding him with one of his employees.

In his office.

Would Blitzø be upset?

Would he yell at him, scream and throw a fit, insisting he had betrayed him...

Would Blitzø even care?

There was a part of him that said 'Of course he would. Blitzø, no matter how much he denied it, surely Blitzø cared for him on some level.'

Stolas could tell himself that all he wanted, but deep down, he knew the truth.

He placed his hand on your cheek, looking down at you. He tried to speak only for a new wave of emotions hit him, causing him on reflex to fall silent.

It was in that moment, as he stood over you, did he realis he didn't need to hide his vulnerability from you. You weren't judging him, he could be vulnerable to you and would judge him for it.

His heart swelled and despite having just met you, he found himself developing a deep yearning to be with you.

'I-I know this is sudden. And you have every right to say no. But please... No one has ever shown me such genuine affection like you have today.'

' I'm so used to people only interested in me for my status or resources.' Stolas held himself, looking dejectedly to the side. A new wave of sorrow enveloping him.

'Your the only one who's shown me the slightes care, past what I could do for them.' He didn't meet your gaze, he ran his hand down your chest, his voice becoming just above a whisper. 'I have nothing (Y/N), I have no one. Right now your the only thing I have.'

'I need to feel something (Y/n), I need to feel something before I fall apart, and I want feel it with you.' He was practically begging you by this point.

Things like pity and mercy were a death sentence in hell.

There was nothing stopping you from saying no. You cared little for royalty. You weren't some door mat that took every word from royalty as gospel.

But right now, this great Demonic Prince standing before you. He didn't want your obedience. He wasn't forcing you to do anything.

He just wanted some sort of affection. something you knew you could give him so easily.

How could you say no?

With a deep sigh, you resigned yourself to your fate. Leaning forward you place your hand under his chin and raised his head to meet your gaze. Stolas was shocked when pulled him close and planted a kiss on his his beak.

'Lock the door' you whispered.

#helluva boss #helluva stolas #x reader #headcanon #helluva boss headcanon #helluva boss x reader #stolas x reader #stolas

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parkers-gal · 4 years ago

Note

Tom x reader where reader wants to move out & live with Tom only (not with boys). Tom doesn’t want to move out, maybe Nikki has a talk with him

the one T.H.

➢ a / n | went a lil overboard, heh, but enjoy this ! sorry it took a lil while :,(

➢ wc | 2.5k <3

｡☆✼★━━ requests are closed ━━★✼☆｡

There’s too many dishes in the sink, you note. There’s so many, that they won’t all fit for one load in the dishwasher. It’s a pain, and you know nobody in this house has the patience to wait for two full loads to carry through, so you have to hand wash half of them and allow the whirring machine to do the other half.

If this were a romantic comedy, you’d have Tom standing next to you and you’d hold hands under the suds while you wash the dishes together and chat about your future. This isn’t a rom-com, though. In fact, you don’t even know where the boys are right now. You were certain they went into the den to play Call Of Duty — or whatever it is that they play — but then you thought they went into the backyard with Tessa, but now you’ve just given up on figuring their whereabouts.

Not that you’re angry at Tom for not helping, though. He did the laundry with you earlier, so you’re content with his keeping end of the deal. It’s the other four that you’re a bit fed up with. Sam had just recently joined the Holland-Osterfield-Barrett household of mates, and while you’re all the more happy to welcome him in, it also means more work. There’s a chore schedule, but sometimes someone has work in a town or a country away, and the gaps in the schedule are only ever left for you to fill.

It’s tough, considering you have your own job, but you’re content with the situation — for now. You have Tom, the love of your life, and you have the best people of your life - Harry, one of your closest confidants, and Harrison, one of your partners in crime.

There’s a lot of baggage that comes with being the only woman in a household of boys that practically grew up with each other. You love Tessa with all your heart, but it’s not like you can really gossip to her about your day.

You’re not too worried about everything, anyway. The second anniversary of your relationship with Tom is coming up; it’s only a few months away, and though you’ve been pondering the idea for awhile, you’re thinking of getting a place with Tom, on your own, without the nagging and intruding fellow in-laws (to-be, hopefully).

Six weeks, today marks, for how long you’ve been thinking about the idea, debating whether it’s valid enough to bring up to Tom, deciding when the best time to talk to him would be. He’s a hard man to navigate — getting a spot in his busy schedule is like fighting to the front of a One Direction mosh-pit. That makes it practically impossible.

But, you’re Y/N. You’re his sweetheart, his darling, his weakness. You’re the most important person in his life, and when you want to have a serious conversation with him, Tom’s all ears and eyes, attentive and caring, understanding and, hopefully, supportive.

You’re hoping it won’t take much convincing — he’s lived with these people all his life, and if it’s truly hard for him to decide, you’ll know what he really wants then.

Ringing out a few glass cups, you let them dry on a dish rack that sits on the countertop. The buzzing and whirring of the dishwasher alerts you that it’s still happily running, and you walk towards the glass sliding doors that lead to the patio and backyard. Peering out, you see all four housemates and Paddy, playing with a frisbee and wrestling with Tessa and messing around with a rugby ball on the trampoline. They look like kindergarteners on the playground, and you decide then to bring them some lemonade like a mother in summertime.

“Hope you’re all a bit thirsty,” you set the tray down with a warm smile. Sam shuts his book of poetry to smile up at you from his seat. He’s been reading for a good fifteen minutes, but you reckon he’ll hop on the trampoline when Harrison gets off. For now, he watches as the Irregulars star jumps happily with Tuwaine.

“Oh, sick,” Harry runs over with the frisbee still in his hands, reaching for a glass and taking a big gulp. Tessa’s at his feet, awaiting for the frisbee game to resume, and you pet her head for a moment before Tom runs over to you, hair matted to his forehead in sweat.

“You’re the best, love,” his hand finds the small of your back as he kisses your temple. You smile again, eyes shutting in bliss at the feeling of his lips, but his hand maneuvers you so he can reach for a glass without bumping into you.

One by one, they come over for refreshments, before picking up where they left off beforehand. Tom’s last to leave, wanting to talk to you before playing with his brothers again.

“Oh, I have to talk to you later,” you whisper, fingers tracing down his damp (sweaty) shirt with a giggle. Tom raises a brow, and you nod softly, “Just, when you have time. Now have fun,” you push him off, and though he’s still just as curious, he leaves you alone on the patio. Taking one last glance at the rowdy group of boys, you bring the tray of empty cups inside, sliding the door shut and sighing to yourself. More dishes to do.

——

Tom’s drying his hair with a purple bath towel when he comes out of the steamy bathroom. He sighs contentedly, before remembering your words from earlier. He brings it up, “What was it that you needed to talk to me about?”

He walks over to the dresser while you look up from your phone. You hum as Tom puts something away, and you shut the electronic device off, setting it on your nightstand and twisting to face his direction.

“I wanted to talk to you about… us, I guess.”

You see Tom’s movement slow, and he removes the towel from his damp curls, turning around hesitantly. You smile, waving him off, “Nothing bad, I promise.”

He lets out an inaudible “phew,” and nods. “Good.” You agree with a nod of your head, and he furthers on with the questions. “What is it, though? Is it something important?”

“I mean…” Tom places his towel on the rack before walking to the opposite side of the mattress “Sorta?” You offer, and you see the gears turn in his head. He sits down across from you, on the bed, and he smiles encouragingly, still a bit suspicious.

“Well, I’m all ears, darling.”

You smile at the familiar pet name, and with a final breath in, you admit what’s been in your head for the past few months. “I was thinking maybe we could… move out… without the boys.”

It’s dead quiet for a few beats while the words sink into his mind. You’re not sure how he’s going to react, but you watch to gauge his reaction.

His mouth opens, almost as if he’s about to say something, but then he closes it, as if he’d suddenly second guessed himself. For once, you truly can’t read him.

“I thought… I thought you liked living here?” he says softly, almost a bit saddened.

You sigh with your words, “I do! Really, I do, but…”

“But…?” He bites his lip.

“Well, I mean…” you exhale again, “We’ve been together for almost two years,” he’s still listening, “Don’t you think we should be a little more independent?”

“I mean, sure, if we were a normal couple.” He laughs at the joke, and while you do too, it’s not really genuine, but more forced for the awkward tension in the air. “I just thought you… y’know, enjoyed spending time with everyone.”

You nod understandingly. “I do, Tom. Really, I do. But… y’know, we’re not getting any younger. I just thought maybe it was time for us to get a place of our own.” It comes out as more of a suggestion, a question for him to respond to. You quietly bite your lip while Tom nods at the information he’s taking in.

He looks down at his fingers, before locking eyes with you. “Can I think about it?”

You shut your eyes softly while nodding. Tom blinks, before standing from the bed, giving you a kiss on the forehead and bidding farewell, heading downstairs for more quality time with his brothers.

——

It’s been a week since that conversation took place in your room. You didn’t think it’d go so… bad? You’re not sure if you should say that, because he didn’t exactly say “no,” he just didn’t seem enthusiastic about deciding at all.

It’s a quiet Saturday. You’re out bowling with a few of your friends, news of one of them getting engaged spreading like wildfire. She’s having a dinner party later, but for now, you’re keeping the meeting small, inviting your closest circle for the fun day at the bowling lanes.

Tom asked you if you wanted to reschedule the dinner with his family, but you insisted that arriving late would be fine. It’s only four o’clock — the Holland family likes to come for late lunch and spend the night playing games and drinking beer, until the clock strikes midnight and Paddy’s passing out in the backseat on the way back home.

At least now, only one Holland brother stays with the parents.

Somehow, someway, the conversation had shifted to you. Everyone’s gathered in the living room, scattered on sofas, couches, beanbags, armchairs, loveseats. Tom misses you at his side, but the conversation of how your work is going just reminds him of what you’d proposed a few days ago.

“How’re things with her in general, though?” Nikki, Tom’s mom, asks with a smile. The eyes shift towards Tom, and he can feel his face heating up.

“Yeah, how’re things with the lovebirds?” Harry teases.

Tom chuckles, anxiety bubbling in his stomach, twisting his. “Uh- they’re- they’re good, yeah,” he assures them, though shaky.

“You sure, there?” Harrison teases. “Did someone propose or something?”

“No, no,” Tom airily chuckles. “Nothing like that.” “Oh?” His dad picks up, “What, then?”

“She- uh…” he licks his lips out of habit. “She wants to move out. Find a place for us, she said.”

The tone in which Tom tells them lets them know that he’s a little less than enthusiastic about the whole ordeal. It’s something that raises a red flag for Nikki; it’s something that makes her brows furrow in confusion.

“Oh,” Sam breaks the silent. “I’m happy for you, bro,” he pats Tom’s shoulder.

Tom smiles, though it’s forced and a bit spaced out.

“What’re you gonna tell her?” Harry asks. “You want it too, right?”

Tom shrugs weakly. Nobody talks about his responses, his reactions. It’s all a bit unexpected, for Tom to not be on board with the next step of the relationship.

“I mean, I don’t know, really.” He confesses with a nervous laugh, running a hand through his curls. “I’d miss you all so much. I just… I don’t know, I guess I just thought she liked living here too, y’know.”

A collective number of “yeah’s” and “mhm’s” go around the room, and Tom nods nonchalantly before the conversation switches to something more exciting. For now, Nikki lets it go, just until she can get her eldest in a room by himself, and before you get home.

It’s when Tom’s getting snacks for the group that Nikki decides to offer her help in the kitchen. They’re just putting dinner in the oven and preparing appetizers, but still, any opportunity to talk to Tom.

“So,” Nikki smiles, and Tom giggles while she puts another slice of tomato on the dish they’re preparing. “Moving out, huh?”

Though her tone is teasing, Tom can’t help but get shivers. He nods, quieting down a bit. Nikki’s movements remain, but Tom stops working altogether. “I don’t want to move out.”

His mum turns to look at him, and she nods, almost as if anticipating the confession. “Why not?”

Tom clicks his tongue, looking down as if he’s ashamed of feeling this way. “I just like things the way they are right now. I know at some point, someone’s gonna move out and the clan’s gonna go our separate ways, but I don’t want to be the one to go first.”

At this, Nikki fully turns to talk to Tom, no longer making dinner. “Tom…” She wipes her hands on a kitchen towel, and Tom does the same. “You were the first to go, you know.”

His eyebrows pull together in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” she sighs, “Your career was first to take off. You ran out that door so fast, we couldn’t keep up.” Tom laughs, reminiscing to himself. “You’re going to keep growing,” she says softly. “You can’t stop that. You can’t stop everyone from growing apart. Sure, you might not grow apart, but you won’t always be this cute little boy band from your school days.”

“Not a boy band, mum,” Tom grumbles. The two of them share a knowing smile.

“You can’t blame yourself for growing, darling,” she steps closer, grabbing one of his hands just like he had grabbed hers the day he was first born. “You can’t expect to be the glue that holds this- this temporary situation together forever. You’re not a superhero,” the two of them laugh again, but then Tom nods knowingly, and Nikki can see a faint batch of tears spring in his eye sockets.

“No, I know, mum.” He sniffles. “I guess… I don’t know, i’ve just always been afraid of never being there when everything changes. I always come back and everyone’s a different person, just…” he searches for the words, “with the same faces.”

She nods, turning back to her dinner dish. Tom keeps his eyes trained on his hands, which are planted on the countertop.

“She loves you a lot, you know.” Nikki says after a few beats. “She just wants a bit of privacy, a bit of your relationship without your annoying brothers.”

“Annoying is right,” Tom teases. They laugh again. “Yeah, I guess I just never thought of that.” Nikki hums, and the kitchen grows silent for a few moments. “Thank you, mum.”

“For what?”

“Being there.” Tom replies. “You never gave up on me, and now… I don’t know. It means a lot to me that you’re helping me with something so important to me.”

Nikki’s eyes soften, and both of them tear up. She nods, this time breaking the silence again. “I know how much you love her,” She says quietly. “One day, she’ll be yours for forever. She’s the one — I can see it in both of your eyes.”

Tom sucks in a breath and wipes his eyes. “I know she’s the one, too.” He adds in another tomato to the dish. “She’s always been it for me.”

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