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Attempt at a Comprehensive List of
Alexander von Humboldtʼs Potential Boyfriends
When if not now that Alex came 2nd in the @napoleonic-sexyman-tournament (what a time to be alive) would be the perfect time to finally thoroughly pick his private life apart. Strangely it has always been a mystery even to me (and of course overall it will remain a mystery until the end of times), but I still thought it was about time to at least get some order in the few things that we do know – mainly for myself but also, I dare say, for the public. You (the public!) will find a short text for every friend under the cut ↓.
disclaimers:
a) I tried to pick the most appropriate picture of everyone but please imagine especially the first ones a lot younger than they are in the pictures
b) it’s a potential boyfriends list, meaning: I’m not saying Alex definitely had romantic and/or sexual relationships with any let alone all of these men, it’s just a list of men where it seems at least possible; but ultimately, of course, we do not know and will never know
c) Alex lived for almost 90 years, and even though his textual remains can seem infinite, there is a lot we don’t know about him, especially his private life, not least because he habitually destroyed almost all of his private letters (which is also why for all of his correspondences we only know the letters he wrote but almost never the ones he received) − so I don’t think there’s any way this list is exhaustive (let me know if you think anyone is missing?)
d) Bonpland is not in this because Alex went out of his way to specifically state that his relationship with Bonpland was purely scientific
e) the point of this post isn’t to determine his sexuality, but since it has already come up, just a couple of words on him being on the asexual spectrum: that is perfectly possible and maybe not even unlikely, he said things about himself that could be interpreted as such (not wanting to marry, not having sensual needs); but I think it’s good to keep two things in mind about that: 1. not wanting to get married was a big thing in 1800, something you had to explain yourself for and not wanting to get married as a man also obviously meant not wanting a wife, it was by no means a question on whether or not wanting a significant other and/or sex; 2. the narrative of his sex-less life at least partly derives from the (mainly 19th/20th century) wish for him not to have been (actively) homosexual
f) I hate to be that person, but it has to be said: language and culture back then were much more emotional and expressive than we are used to today, so not everything that sounds super intimate or even romantic to us (language-wise) has to actually have been meant that way; of course this doesn’t rule out anything either but it’s a thing to keep in mind
g) if anyone is interested in sources or further reading on anything particular, do not hesitate to hit me up! But i’m not adding any of that to this post because 1. it’s already 2 km long and 2. this is tumblr dot com
Wilhelm Gabriel Wegener (1767-1837)
18-year-old Alex met Wilhelm in 1787 during the one semester he studied at the University of Frankfurt (Oder). Wilhelm was a (protestant) theology student and on 13 February 1788 they made a “holy” oath to “eternal brotherly love”. They wrote each other very cheesy letters, very much in the Empfindsamkeit fashion of the time, proclaiming their eternal and ever-growing love for each other. There was no one on earth, Alex wrote to him once (and in Italian no less), whom he loved as ardently as him (“Non vi è uomo sopra la terra ch'io amì così ardammente che lei…”). He also told him that, ever since he had met him, it seemed to him that God had created people only in pairs, because no one else could ever compare to what he meant to him. In his letters Alex also repeatedly refers to the many hours spent together (“chatting”) in a certain armchair in Frankfurt and proclaims that he has never been happier than in that very chair.
They kept contact for a couple of years after their time in Frankfurt, but at some point their friendship faded out.
Carl Ludwig Willdenow (1765-1812)
Willdenow (a published botanist) and Alex met in 1788 in Berlin, when Alex had one day decided to just call at his house to ask him to teach him botany. Willdenow agreed and they became friends quickly, spent a lot of time together, and when Alex wandered through Berlin on his own to collect plants, he would afterwards bring them to Willdenow who would then identify them for him.
We do not know a lot about their friendship during that time (and maybe I only included him in this because I needed 9 tiles) but at least one phrase in Alex’s autobiography fragment calls our attention, not least because it’s highlighted by what I like to call a Streisand strike-through: “I became enthusiastically fond of him” or “I grew to love him enthusiastically” (“Ich gewann ihn enthusiatisch lieb”, written in 1801 and crossed out roughly 50 years later).
They stayed in contact even after Alex had left Berlin a couple of months later: in 1795 Alex became godfather of Willdenow’s son and in 1810 he convinced him to come to Paris to work on his botanical collections from the South America trip. Sadly, Willdenow fell ill in 1811 and died in 1812 in Berlin.
Karl Freiesleben (1774-1846)
Alex met Karl in 1791 in Freiberg, where both studied geology and mining at the renowned Bergakademie. Karl was the son of a local mining family and Alex learnt a lot from him about his new profession. They both were nerdy about stones and minerals in ways you couldn’t even begin to imagine. They gifted each other minerals, went down into the mines together, and in August 1791 they made a 200 km long geological expedition through the mountains of Bohemia on foot. But aside from pages-long enthusiastic rants about geology, Alex’s letters to Karl are also full of sentimental love declarations. He called him Herzens-Freisesleben, Herzens-Karl or Herzensjunge (roughly “my heart’s Freiesleben/Karl/boy”) and once finished a letter with: “going to bed now and I’ll be happy when I dream of you” — a passage Karl thoroughly struck through later, probably so no one else could read it, but someone deciphered almost all the struck through passages anyway (not all heroes wear capes!).
Karl and Alex stayed (sporadic and long-distance) friends for the rest of Karl’s life.
Reinhard von Haeften (1772-1803)
The above picture shows a snippet from one of Alex’s travel journals where he noted Reinhard’s birthday (“14 Mai R.”) because sadly we don’t have a picture of Reinhard. But let’s hear how Alex described him:
“This Reinhard v. Haeften has been my only and hourly company for a year now. I live with him, he visits me in the mountains. [...] I have already ridden 8 miles [60 km] just to see him for a couple of hours. He is very tall, taller than most men and he’s only 22 years old but looks more mature than me [at 25]. He has a very remarkable face and everyone finds him to be one of the most beautiful men, and I too think he’s beautiful, but most importantly I have never seen purity of the soul, kindness and courtesy being reflected in anyone’s features as much as in his.”
Alex and Reinhard met in 1793 in Bayreuth (where Alex now worked as a mining official) and they quickly moved in together. However, shortly before meeting Alex, Reinhard had also managed to make a baby with a married woman 4 years older than him. Alex was friendly with Christiane, the child’s mother and helped to keep the birth a secret. The boy (named Friedrich Gustav Alexander, Alex’s godson and surely named after him) had to spend the first years away from his parents. In the meantime, Reinhard continued to live with Alex, accompanied him on business trips and mineralogical expeditions and in 1795 they went on a two-month trip through Northern Italy and Switzerland. It was only with and through him, Alex wrote to Reinhard once, that he could live, only close to him that he could be fully happy.
Later, after Reinhard and Christiane had finally gotten married (and reunited with their son), Alex wrote him a very long letter, proposing for the three of them to (continue to?) live together with Reinhard as head of the family and to settle for quiet life in Switzerland, Italy, or some small town in the west of Germany. That plan never worked out, but “Rein” (as Alex called him), Christiane, their by now two children and Alex lived and travelled together for another two years while Alex was already preparing for his big journey.
After he had sailed for the Americas in 1799, he tried his best to stay in contact with them. In his letters, he called them his “Herzensmenschen” (again, roughly: “his heart’s humans”), wrote them that he was dreaming about them day and night and how much he wished that his – their – Rein could be with him to see all the marvels, too. But cross-atlantic communication was bad during that time and in both directions most letters never arrived.
Sadly, Reinhard unexpectedly died in 1803 while Alex was still in America, meaning they never got to meet again. Alex stayed in contact with Christiane and the children − the only survivors of the shipwreck, as he put it − and wrote Christiane how he still remembered their time together, along with all the hopes and dreams that they had had and that despite the “all-robbing fate”, there was something unalterable in the depth of their love, that could only die with them. When Christiane remarried and had another son in 1806, she named him Gustave Louis Reinhard Alexandre. Alex continued to financially support Christiane and the children and in 1813, Reinhard’s son Fritz (Alex’s godson) visited Alex in Paris for three months.
Carlos Montúfar (1780-1816)
Alex met Carlos in 1802 in Quito and despite him having no scientific qualifications whatsoever, Alex chose Carlos to accompany him on his further journey. This decision offended botanist, geographer and astronomer Francisco José de Caldas (who himself had hoped to join the expedition) so much that he, in a letter to botanist José Celestino Mutis, famously called Carlos “[señor Barón de Humboldt’s] Adonis”, probably insinuating that Alex had picked Carlos purely for his looks, or even more.
Together with the rest of the party, Alex and his supposed “Adonis” travelled what today is Ecuador (where they climbed the Chimborazo), Peru, Mexico, Cuba and the USA. At least once during that journey (but perhaps regularly?) they shared a bed (as in some kind of temporary/mobile accomodation) which we know because Alex explicitly says so in his travel journal when he describes a night in which Carlos had very bad stomach cramps which Alex tried to ease by heating handkerchiefs over the fire for him in the middle of the night.
Carlos accompanied Alex back to Europe in 1804 and stayed with him in Paris for a couple of months (where they most likely both attended Napoleon’s coronation) until he ultimately left to go to Madrid. But since Carlos had trouble getting money from South America, he still had to rely on Alex’s support. However, over time his contact to Alex seems to have broken off, because in a letter from 1806, Carlos complained about Alex not answering him anymore (“¡Qué largo silencio!”) and then told him, quite dramatically, that he was running out of money, and that he, Alex, was his only friend, his only hope, and the only person he knew in Europe who could tell him what to do. Whether all of Alex’s letters had gotten lost in the mail and whether Alex ended up helping him out or not, I think we don’t know. (But knowing him as I do and since he after all kept that letter, I’m sure that he did.)
Later, Carlos went back to South America, where he (alongside Símon Bolívar) fought to liberate the continent from the Spanish Crown − a fight he unfortunately didn’t survive: he was captured and executed by the Spanish in 1816.
Joseph Louis Gay-Lussac (1778-1850)
Alex and Gay (that’s what Alex called him, no pun intended) first met in 1804 in Paris, just after Alex’s return from America. Before, Gay had done two things: 1. contributed to a harsh critique on one of Alex’s papers, 2. ascended 7016 m in a hot-air balloon to investigate the air up there − a world record at the time and more than 1000 m higher than Alex had been on the Chimborazo, which had then also been a world record (in recorded European history).
Evidently, these were the best conditions for them to totally hit it off: they almost immediately started to work on the evaluation of Gay’s balloon ascent and often spent entire days working together in Gay’s room, from 9 am until after midnight. In a letter to his father, Gay wrote that Alex was the man with the best heart he had ever known, that their tastes and sentiments were absolutely the same − and that their hearts felt a great need to see each other very often.
After the publication of their paper (in which they, without fully realising it, also first identified the chemical composition of water: H2O), they (and another friend) went on a six-month field trip through Switzerland and Italy − where they were lucky enough to witness both an earthquake and a resulting Vesuvius eruption. They ended their journey in Berlin where Gay stayed at Alex’s for a couple of months and even started to learn German until he unexpectedly had to leave for Paris. His absence, Alex wrote after Gay had left, pained him a lot.
When Alex finally returned to Paris as well, they shared a single room at the École Polytechnique and even after Gay became a father in 1808 and married in 1809, Alex continued to (at least occasionaly) live with his family for many years. Gay’s first son (born in 1810) was named Jules Alexandre and while I have no proof that he was named after Alex, I think it’s safe to assume. Alex seems to have also been very intimately integrated into the family life, because he once wrote to Willdenow (with a humorous undertone of course): “We are always pregnant and just had a girl again. Right now we’re not feeling anything though.” Alex was also there to help when an explosion in a laboratory accident injured Gay’s eyes so badly that Alex and another friend had to take him home in a blindfold.
No letters between the two have survived (that we know of), but we do know that in the years after they first met, Alex considered Gay his best friend and “one of the kindest beings in the world”, that he named an American plant genus after him (Gaylussacia), and that they used “tu” with each other (which was very uncommon in France at the time except for childhood friends and family). They stayed friends for the rest of their lives and formed a kind of trio with Arago (see below).
Karl von Steuben (1788-1856)
We don’t know when exactly they first met but according to Alex they started to see each other daily in 1812 at the studio of painter François Gérard, where Alex had then started to take drawing lessons. Steuben, a young aspiring artist, lived and worked at Gérard’s studio. According to Alex, they “drew and painted” together “daily” for at least one or two years. Withdrawn from all other society, he wrote, this was now his “only joy” (interestingly almost the exact same wording he had used to describe his relationship with Reinhard 20 years earlier). However, it had perhaps been one of Alex’s exaggerations because he at least seems to have attended the famous salons Gérard held at his studio, where all the cool Paris people came to hang out. Alex reportedly talked incessantly, stayed late into the night (the main thing usually didn’t get going until midnight) and was found there again, freshly dressed and shaved, already at 7 in the morning.
In the meantime, Alex had started to torment basically everyone around him to commission Steuben to paint them, their sons, daughters, fiancés etc. to help Steuben support his poor mother in St. Petersburg. In 1814, even Alex’s brother noted that Alex had suddenly become strangely interested in art. In the same year, Alex became godfather to Steuben’s newborn son Alexander.
However, the biggest commission Alex got Steuben was a life-sized full-body painting of himself, which he intended to gift to his sister-in-law. It took 7 years to finish and in the end Alex’s brother had to pay for transport and framing because Alex had run out of money. Neither his brother nor his sister-in-law were overly enthusiastic about the likeness of the painting or Steuben’s talent in general but they still put it up in their home because after all, as his brother put it, they loved Alex and always liked a picture of him around.
Alex and Steuben stayed in at least loose contact for many years and Alex occasionally even still tried to get him commissions. Steuben’s painting of Alex hung in the Humboldt residence in Tegel for over a century before it was ultimately destroyed in WWII. Apparently though, another Alex portrait by Steuben from 1815 still exists in a private collection somewhere.
François Arago (1786-1853)
Arago, a young astronomer, was on a scientific expedition through Spain when he got entangled in the Peninsular War: mistaken for a French spy, he got arrested and incarcerated, managed to flee, was captured again, transferred, released, drifted off at sea to Algeria, all the while managing to hold on to his most valuable possession: his scientific records, which he kept hidden under his shirt at all times. When Alex heard about this (the two had never met before), he was so impressed by his courage and determination that he sent a letter to congratulate him — and to offer him his friendship. And in fact, one of the first things Arago did when he finally returned to Paris in 1809 was to go and meet Alex. It was the beginning of a 44-year-long friendship. They saw each other almost daily, worked together at the observatory, planned an expedition to Tibet (which never happened), and actually travelled at least to London in 1817 to visit Alex’s brother, who commented to his wife: “Alexander has arrived yesterday. But he isn't staying with me, even though his room had already been prepared. You know his passion to always be with one person who is his favourite at that time. Now he has the astronomer Arago who he doesn't want to part with (...) So they're staying at a nearby inn.” Just as with Gay, Alex and Arago used “tu” with each other and after Arago had gotten married in 1811, Alex was close with his wife and children as well as with his siblings, nieces and nephews — in some letters he even considered himself part of the Arago family.
When Alex was forced to move back to Berlin in 1827 to work for the king, he wrote Arago desperate letters on how much their separation pained him, how much he missed him every hour of every day. In the following 26 years, Alex’s letters to him were full of yearning pleas for just a couple of lines of his hand, which, as he wrote, always made his heart flutter. However, Arago often didn’t respond for months, but when he did, he at least knew to reassure Alex, writing things like: “Outside my family, you are, without any comparison, the person I love most tenderly in this world.” Alex kept a portrait and a large Arago bust in his study in Berlin, and until his late seventies, he travelled to Paris regularly (that is, every few years), first and foremost to see Arago. (Actual quote from 78-year-old Alex in a letter to his niece: “Every morning at half past eight without interruption, I’ve been at Arago’s in the observatory, today for the 62nd time.”) According to Arago, he and Alex have only been angry with each other one single time in all those decades and even that went over in an instant.
They saw each other for the last time in January 1848, on the last night of Alex’s last stay in Paris. When Arago fell ill five years later, his family informed Alex of his worsening condition — but Alex couldn’t travel to Paris to see him one last time. Even over a year after Arago’s death, Alex wrote that the memory of those last moments in January 1848 vividly came back to him during the night at least once a week. He outlived his friend by 6 years.
#alexander von humboldt#alejandro#i'm so sorry alex ://#but this is the part about the mortifying ordeal of being known#(and we're all here to love you for it!!!)#all of this happened because i had a strange and unsatisfying conversation on this that got interrupted and never finished#and i couldn't stop rotating all i wanted to say in my head for literal weeks#and this (an in-depth and overly well researched overview of his 'intimate special friends') isn't at all what i would have wanted to say#but i think it still helped me to finally let go of that conversation#and a bonus: they're all my sons-in-law now🥺#lastly there's a lot i would have to add to this#(for instance did Friedrich Gustav Alexander von Haeften; Jules Alexandre Gay-Lussac;#Alexander von Steuben and Gustave Louis Reinhard Alexandre de Vernejoul ever meet I need to know????)#(or that the portrait i chose for arago was painted by steuben.... 🌝 (the one alex had in berlin was by scheffer though))#(or: it matters it matters it matters it matters it matters it matters it matters it matters it matters it matters it matters)#but actually i'm just going to say this one single thing:#gay-lussacs balloon ascent was a-b-s-o-l-u-t-e I N S A N I T Y#imagine being in a hot air ballon#ON YOUR OWN#SEVEN KILOMETRES from the ground#(that's a plane 25 (TWENTYFIVE!) mins before landing)#in 1804#(e i g h t e e n h u n d r e d f o u r)#and not to be a pioneer in aviation#but to MEASURE AIR#????????#holy fucking shit
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GUESS I LIKE BEING SPIDER-WOMAN AFTER ALL . ( @danversiism )
( personals DNI . )
#shoving this in their tag because i love how in between waking up and passing out#jess makes certain that carol's alive and breathing beside her#''guess i like being spider-woman after all'' sniff sniff i'm emo#loses her powers the first time and misses them#has to lose them a second time to be reminded:#''yknow what i actually do enjoy this''#ghoul vc: ''i do this shit for the love of the game''#( c h . s t u d y . )#( c o m i c s . )#( v i s a g e . )#( c a r o l d a n v e r s . )#( j e s s i c a & c a r o l // d a n v e r s i i s m . )
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I get why they didn't do it—because they wanted Lightning's weapon to be special and iconic and hers—but I'm forever going to lament the fact that we never got a boss or some other significant character that likewise wielded a gunblade.
Because seriously! The Blazefire Saber wasn't a weapon that only Lightning received, it was a priority provision assigned exclusively to highly-skilled soldiers, making it the perfect shorthand to say "This character? Right here? They're a certified badass."
#“op this is what fanfiction is for” i know!!!#i'm working on it!!!#i've been putting the sanctum military under a microscope for a while now#because this shit is i n t e r e s t i n g#and has so much potential!!!#even if i have to cherry-pick canon#because world-building in this game is a mess!!!#but i still love it!!!
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No More Chances
�� M A S T E R L I S T ✧
Yandere Platonic Batfamily x Neglected Regressing GN Reader
In which a sad little child of a Wayne is somehow curse by the fates to live again and again, facing death in the end just to relive their fears, trauma and neglect from their own family.
Will they find away to end this looping nightmare or to live another reset again just to find a good gooddamn ending?.
Warning this Fic will contain:
Suicide and Suicidal thoughts, Death [Mainly Y/N's], Violence, Cursing, Drugs and substances, Guns and other weapons, Family Neglect, Talk about traumas or phobias, out of characters from the DC characters, mixed versions of the Batfamily [Will be mentioned if there are changes or implications of specific depictions of comics, games or other media for DC characters], Typos [ I can edit if there are typos but don't expect perfect or poetic English from me cuz I'm not that great in English ] and lastly This is NOT a Jinx!Reader I only had inspo of jinx and Arcane reference for this they are not fully Jinx because if they are then that would be a different fic now.
EXTRA EXTRA NOTE :
For the love of anything out there if you do not like to consume these type of fics in tumblr, DO NOT message or comment to me about how you don't like to read yandere or even x reader fanfictions in your feed, it's not my fault, I don't control your recommendation or what pops up in your screen, you have fingers SCROLL AWAY.
--- 0 0 0 0 ---
PROLOGUE
Chapter 1 : Dear Mother, Goodbye
Chapter 2 : A New Reset, An Old Story
Chapter 3 : Hello Father, Die
Chapter 4 : Oh Love, Why can't I See You?
.......
[ O N G O I N G ]
Headcannons
--- ? ? ? ---
Fate's Chapter Assessment
[ 0 ] ,
No More Chances Q&A [#No More Chances Q&A]
Flasbacks&Babies
Doodles& Hallucinations
BadguyOrNot?
-✧✦✧-INTERTWINED FATES-✧✦✧-
Melody composed by fate [song fic]
Death by Family
Father
Sons
Daughters
Grandfather
✧✦✧ CRACKED VISIONS ✧✦✧
Imma finna rock yo' shit
Black Betty Bam Balam
〖 = ✧ = 〗
A taglist will be made if you want to be updated quickly, I only tag when I reblog a chapter so please comment your @ below thank you so much.
Q&A for No More Chances are open (Don't ask for updates you already know why I don't post much)
[ If you're having trouble finding the chapters for this fic all of them will be tag with #No More Chances or find #Masterlist ] (all images are from mixed media of screenshots, Pinterest, tumblr and google)
#No More Chances#x reader#yandere batfam#batfam x reader#Yandere platonic Alfred Pennyworth#yandere#yandere batfam x reader#yandere platonic#platonic yandere x reader#x gender neutral reader#yandere dc#Masterlist#yandere batboys#yandere batman#yandere dick grayson#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#yandere damian wayne#yandere cassandra cain#yandere stephanie brown#yandere duke thomas#yandere batgirls#yandere barbara gordon
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I recently learned that before New 52, Guy Gardener was at one point social worker. This got retconned during New 52 as did most of his previous backstory, however while the rest of his backstory got brought back, he's still a fucking cop.
DC is missing out on the opportunity to do the funniest shit.
Just imagine baby Dick meeting Guy for the first time as Robin and instantly ruining the secret identity thing by immediately shouting "MR. GARDNER????" Because Guy was the social worker assigned to Dick after his parents died.
When the league finds out Billy is just a child, everyone else is freaking out about how young he is while Guy is simultaneously going full social worker, asking Billy questions to make sure his uncle isn't facilitating this, and also trying to figure out why so many of his kids are in the Justice League.
He also quit being a social worker to teach children with disabilities, imagine Bruce S T R E S S I N G when this happens because having a superhero social worker made everything so much easier.
#batman#green lantern#guy gardner#dc comics#bruce wayne#robin#like seriously#how has bruce not lost custody of those kids yet#they have so many injuries I feel like the state has launched multiple investigations#I'd like to stress I do know logically he wouldn't work in both areas but still#dick grayson#billy batson#shazam
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Good fucking day, Robot enjoyers! Gaze upon the updated semi-accurate height comparison of Bumblebee across the multiverse.
This is an updated version of a chart I made a few months ago. I had gotten some feedback and then TFOne came out and I kinda had to update it. I also added a Gen 1 Optimus Prime for scale, for fun... no other reason... (edit: slight adjustment made, just corrected a slight mistake in the order)
I am also working on at least two more character charts and one universe chart, so hopefully I can finish those soon (for some fucking genius reason I decided to do the characters that show up EVERY FUCKING UNIVERSE so I'm s u f f e r i n g)
*PST! Optimus, Megatron, Shockwave, Soundwave, Ratchet, and Ironhide ones are done now*
Master Post
Listed Heights, Explanations, and Justifications below the cut, bc you couldn't shut me up if you tried and I had shit to say.
Gen 1 - ~10 feet (TFwiki says greater than 3 meters so I rounded up to the first whole number because round)
Netflix Cybertron Trilogy - ~10 feet (He looks identical to Gen 1 so... the reason his photo looks weird is because I couldn't find a good full body photo with him standing straight up facing the camera so I put two images together to make the worst looking photoshop job you have ever seen)
Earth Spark - ~10 feet (There is no confirmed height yet, but using this screen shot (see below) of him standing in front of a barn door, I was able to make a reasonable guess, bc I'm so smart.)
One V1 - ~13 feet (I am well aware of what the TFWiki says: 26.429 feet. And I fully reject that number. A: These numbers are sourced from the Walmart Promotional AR Experience that came out before the movie. B: There are three decimal points, and that number does not convert into a whole number in meters (which is originally what I thought was weird about it). C: The director has said that this movie is both canon to the LA movies and its own separate canon, and Bumblebee in both sets of LA movies does not exceed 20 feet tall. Ever. So, for sanity's sake, I have used the KCV numbers as my baseline. Bee grows when he gets his t-cog so shrink this one down a few feet. Look, I'm working on the Optimus chart rn, and one of the numbers from Beast Wars on the wiki was very observably wrong, and if I can dispute numbers older than me, I can dispute numbers 2 decades younger than me from fucking Walmart. Also, yes, his picture is 3 images sandwiched together)
Animated - 13 feet 3 Inches (There is no actual given heights, but in the comments of the previous version, @phoenix-inanis told me that they had done their own analysis of TFA heights and, gonna be real with you, I am blown away by all of their work and how detailed it is. Go marvel at how much work they put in -> https://phoenix-inanis.notion.site/TFA-Height-Chart-f6ad2960ca8c4c5b859ee4958723aaa4?pvs=4 )
One V2 - ~15 Feet (Please see reasoning above. Since this is as tall as we see Bee get, he's the same height as KCV Bee. Sweet fuck, I have put way too much effort into this shit)
Knight/Capel-Verse - 15 feet (No actual numbers, but Mirage is stated to be 15 feet tall (TFWiki), and he and Bee are like the same height, so... Capel directed the ROTB movie if you're wondering why his name is there)
Bayverse V1 - 16 feet (TFWiki. This is like the first 3 movies minimum, I don't remember when he hits his growth spurt. Also mr bay is king, we have numbers for nearly every character in BV)
Cyberverse - 18 feet (I'm gonna be honest, the only info we have is from a really shitty screen shot of a magazine. SO if any one has a copy of this book from the video below, a high quality scan would be greatly appreciated and I will kiss the ground you walk upon. Yes I found the video where the screen shot comes from leave me alone)
Bayverse V2 - 18 feet (TFWiki. Movie 4-5 I can't remember which one, I'm not re-looking this up. I fucking love the bayverse tho, this is the only universe with concrete and consistent this-character-is-this-height info)
Aligned Cont. WF/FOC - 20 feet (TFWiki/Fandom. Video game info screens you godsend, kiss me sweetly)
Aligned Cont. TFP/RID15 - 21 feet (These two designs are canonically identical, like in ALC canon, Bee has not changed visually at all...Ok, yes I got this number from fandom and they give literally no source for where they got these numbers. But, I can fully believe these are accurate. Just by looking at these characters on the show I can verify these numbers in my mind. Here, let's Compare.
This is Sam compared to Bee from one of the BV movies, I'm too lazy to check which one. Sam is average size for a human and we know Bee is 16 feet tall in the first three movies. Checks out. Let's now look at a TFP Character who is also 16 feet tall.
Jack is average size for a human, and the size difference is about the same. Can you see why I can't question the Aligned heights, even if they don't have a source??!?! They specifically made this universe to be full of freakishly tall robots for some fucking reason.)
Not Pictured: Aligned Cont. Rescue Bots and Rescue Bots Academy Bumblebee - 21 Feet tall. Look, did you want to see all 5 versions of ALC Bee? No, you don't. They're all the same height anyway; the back row would have just been a wall of redundant yellow. 5 different fucking art styles in one universe, why is that one my favourite.
Here's the front row and the back row separated into their own jpgs. I know it's kind of hard to tell which Bumblebee is which when they're all together.
#i like comparing the universes like pretty rocks#all of them are good but look at them together#If anyone makes a tf/tf crossover thing please let me know I eat that shit up#Transformers Height Charts#personal stuff#aka the adventures of a mother fucker with the power point program#transformers#bumblebee#tf bumblebee#g1 bumblebee#earthspark bumblebee#tf bee#bumblebee 2018#tfo bumblebee#tfa bumblebee#tf one bumblebee#tfp bumblebee#rid15 bumblebee#aligned continuity bumblebee#transformers bumblebee#knightverse bumblebee#wfct bumblebee#wfc bumblebee#macaddam#macadam#bayverse bumblebee#if i hear anything about tfo bee's height i will riot#Those numbers are bullshit and you know it I do not trust them as far as i can throw them
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Heyyy, NSFW alphabet featuring shinsou. Obviously 18+
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
He is the kind of guy to be instantly tired, he wants to hold you, lazily kiss you, cuddle you as you fall asleep after sex. He doesn’t mind if there’s a little mess and your both naked he just wants you in his arms.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Thighs absolutely no questions asked. He wants to kiss them, touch them, squeeze them, put his head in between them, you name it. There’s no better way to relax after a long day of work then to lay down in your pillowy thighs.
C = Cum (Where does he want to cum?)
Back to the last one, thighs definitely. If they aren’t available then stomach, back, or tits. There’s just something about seeing himself sprayed on your body it’s like an animal marking there territory.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Actually really into dominantrics (idk how to spell that just go with it) but would never tell you because he’s super embarrassed. He secretly would enjoy being bossed around, told how to please you.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
He’s watched a fair share of porno but was a virgin before he met you, surprisingly he was a natural in bed, a quick learner you’d call him.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Missionary, some may say it’s boring but it gets all the right spots, he can kiss you while rearranging your guts, easy access to your clit and curves, and best of all your neck is so so easy to grab.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Very serious, so serious it’s goofy
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Carpet matches the drapes, purple stubble
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Less romantic then you’d expect, he’s a fan of hard kinky sex, not the type of stuff you’d call “making love” but it’s romantic in his own way.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
A lot, If he’s horny and your not available his hand is on his cock. He jacks off to pictures of you in a swimsuit. He has jerked off next to you in bed while you were sleeping multiple times, he dreads you waking up but also gets off on it
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
About the level of kinky as you’d expect, he’s into shibari, putting you in collars (a little pet play), and using his quirk on you.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Bed, it’s the most comfortable for both of you and you don’t have to worry about it not working for his favorite positions.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Mostly you teasing him but sometimes he just gets random boners. If you really want to get him going then strip tease when he’s not expecting it.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Role play, he hates thinking about fucking anyone but you. Other then that he’s super open to whatever you want to try; my man does not kink shame
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Not very good at giving but lovvvvves receiving, it’s his favorite way to cum, with your mouth wrapped around him.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Very rough and fast paced, this man rails the shit of you it is not gentle. However if you feel like it’s to much he becomes more gentle with you, your pleasure comes before him.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Not a fan of quickies, he prefers longs nights where you can do multiple rounds and fall asleep after
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Loves to push yours and his own boundaries, he’s not Risky in the sense of doing it in public though
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
About 4, you’ll know when he’s tired out
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
It’s hit or miss with toys but he loves putting you in collars and using controlled toys to tease and edge you with
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
His version of foreplay is teasing the shit out of you, but after that he just wants to get lost in you.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He’s a grunter and whimperer definitely, loud in a quiet way if that makes any sense.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Reads cringy smut fanfiction and imagines you as main characters
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Like 6inches, not enough to be painful for you but big enough to make you feel like he’s in your stomach
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Depends, it’s like seasonal with this man, super horny during winter, super chill during summer.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Two fucking seconds after he cums he’s snoring while holding you tight, more cuddles the better
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Okay @s-p-r-i-n-g-t-i-m-e I’m sure you know plenty BUT I’m going to use your wonderful and hilarious comment on this as an excuse to talk about Bernard, bc I realized recently that there are plenty of ppl who haven’t read most of the comics he’s been in. So get ready for my long overdue:
UNPACKING BERNARD DOWD + HIS TRAUMA (for those who cannot keep up with comics but want to get to know him)
So to start, Tim met Bernard years ago ofc, when they were in high school. It’s established pretty quick that Bernard is an extremely Unserious guy LMAO, the first thing he does is literally circle Tim and try to feel him out socially, see what kind of guy he is. He’s the kind of guy who gets himself in trouble with his big mouth, and seems to enjoy poking at Tim and testing his patience. By the time we meet Bernard again in the recent years, he’s grown a lot, but at his core he’s still the light-hearted, fun, goofy guy with very strong opinions. Just less stand-offish, maybe
Throughout the time Tim spends at this school though, Bernard does experience some wild shit. He lost Darla (somebody he really cared about), he experienced a shooting at his school, and then Darla came back from the dead, kind of scared the hell out of him, and used him to contact Tim again. It was kind of played for laughs, but like. That’s gotta fuck you up. (Robin #140)
Obviously this is the kind of thing that maybeee has a lasting effect on you. And BECAUSE Tim Drake: Robin got cut so short and the writer had to rush to wrap up the series, we’re left to fill in a lot of gaps and draw conclusions about the years we didn’t see Bernard ourselves. But we absolutely get some insight as to his life after Tim left that school and we stopped seeing him in the comics. Spoiler alert: it was hard.
In TDR, Bernard discusses the the cult that he’d been in that Tim saved him from in Urban Legends. He says that “he’d accepted himself”, but others hadn’t. Obviously there’s the natural reading that he means his queerness (which has me chewing through drywall), but I think that he’s speaking very broadly too. Bernard is a very odd example of a civilian, because he’s always getting dragged into things much bigger than him. And even before that, he had his big ideas, his conspiracies, his loud personality. He tended to rub people the wrong way in high school. Then in issue #7 of TDR (the Bernard pov issue my most beloved, weird pacing aside) Bernard refers to this “oozy, sticky feeling” that he ALWAYS feels when Tim isn’t around. He says when he’s alone it’s harder to put one foot in front of the other. To keep GOING. To wake up every day.
I think that Bernard has always felt like an outcast. (Robin #121, he doesn’t fit into any clique). He wasn’t as okay with it as he acted. And I think he wasn’t getting any attention from his parents. (Batman: Urban Legends #5, Bernard’s parents nonchalance to the days leading up to his kidnapping)
So just like Bernard explained to Tim, that feeling got bad. and he wanted to let go. The chaos monsters, the cult, all of it was a means to an end. But then Tim agreed to see him again, and I think that sparked something in him. Because he started learning to fight. When he was tied down to that alter and Tim was saving him, I think it fully sank in to Bernard that he didn’t want to die. Reconnecting with Tim gave him hope and made him really feel something good for the first time in ages.
So now that they’re dating after the cult fiasco, we get to know this current Bernard. A less goading, maybe calmer Bernard. But he’s still himself, of course, rambling about his ideas and making bad jokes and sticking to his guns (he has NEVER been a pushover, no idea where people get that idea?). I think a lot of people complained that Bernard mellowed out too much in terms of attitude, but I think if he seems “nicer” it’s because 1) he’s grown now. It’s been a while since we last saw him, and he’s clearly changed a lot. And 2) because he’s dating Tim now. He likes him a lot, and he’s an affectionate partner. He wants to lift Tim up.
But the fact that he was pulled into a cult still remains. And as lighthearted as Bernard tries to be, that traumatic experience still happened. It said in Urban Legends #5 while Tim was searching for him that Bernard had welts on his arms and legs and had been acting different, so it’s not like he was just snatched up on a whim. He’d spent significant time there. For those who haven’t read much abt the ways cult trauma specifically can fuck you up, I recommend doing a search if you’re in a good headspace for that and want to understand him more. because it’s pretty bad.
And then! yeah. you guessed it. Bernard gets kidnapped again. Chained up next to a BOMB that’s counting down. RIGHT WHEN HE’S WORKING ON HEALING FROM ALMOST BEING SACRIFICED BY A CULT.
And surely this can’t get crazier. He’s almost died twice in the past 6 months. except, remember his parents? In TD:R #7, we really see a little more of his relationship with his parents. He doesn’t live up to their standards, and his dad specifically seems to just want to argue with him. The restaurant they’re at is attacked, and everything goes to shit, and. you know, I think these panels really speak for themselves.
And for the record, when it’s revealed that everyone is seeing their worst fears, Bernard’s parents fears are not about him.
So now Bernard has to deal with that. And we start to see that Bernard is really not as okay as he’s tried to be. He keeps a baseball bat by his door because he’s been kidnapped twice now. And just when he’d likely thought things couldn’t get worse, he heard the Chaos Monsters were back. I can’t imagine he feels safe. He lashes out for the first time since all this has happened and yells at Kate and Tim, because while they’re doing what they feel is necessary to save more people (AND I DONT BLAME THEM AT ALL), Bernard can’t talk about it.
And I will forever be sad and insist that TD:R got cancelled too soon, just before we could get into the really juicy stuff, because things had to be wrapped up pretty quick and this was the only comic Bernard was consistently appearing in. But when Tim is giving himself up to the chaos monsters, Bernard goes out and rallies anyone he knows can help. Things were rushed because there was no more time to flesh out the story the way it could have been, but I’m including these panels just because I love Bernard Audacity Dowd using a fucking flashlight and shadow puppet to call Batman. geeking out for a minute. And then leading the battalion to save Tim with a SLEDGEHAMMER. gay people rule.
So yeah! While I see the vision of how a lot of Bernard’s trauma was meant to be semi-resolved and let him come to peace after saving Tim back, we just didn’t have the time for him to heal properly. I’d give anything to get inside his brain again. UHH IF YOU READ THIS I HOPE YOU LOVE BERNARD NOW and don’t come at me if I left something out, some of my comics aren’t with me rn. Bonus TimBer for the road:
#WHEW IT TOOK A WHILE TO ORGANIZE THESE PANELS#Hes NOT BORING he is SO FASCINATING TO ME#i think his character is just not being utilized the way it could be#I didnt source every panel so just ask if you want to know where something is from!#bernard dowd#batfamily#dc comics#tim drake#timber#timbern
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Ouija Board Prompt Idea
A/N: A late night Idea that came to me instead of sleep and I wrote this down during lunch break
Danny was just in Gotham because the city spirit had asked him for assistance with a rather persistent unruly Ghost that didn't understand that this was her haunt and she did not want them there.
So when he got the notice he did his kingly duties and made sure the Ghost was no longer annoying Lady Gotham. He was the Ghost King but even he didn't want to anger a spirit as old as her. He had watched the spirit take a ghostly club and hit Clockwork the Ancient of Time with it without remorse the first time they were introduced. So yea, no messing with this one.
He had been about to portal back home when he felt a strange pull one that was close to when he got summoned but yet it didn't feel as demanding but more like a little kid pulling on his shirt hesitantly. So he checked it out…
… and came across a group of vigilantes investigating an occult side.
Invisible he watched them, curious. He used to do the teen hero stick too before the whole Ghost King business allowing him to get some semblance of a normal life with his rogues, might as well see how others to that hero stick. Besides the pull he felt appeared to come from that tall one wearing a red helmet something was up with that guy.
"Come on, ask the ghosts a question or are you too chicken to do it?"
"I will not participate in this nonsense, Red Hood."
"Come on guys it will be fun!"
"For whom? You, Spoiler?"
"RR aren't you curious?"
"We just gotta ask the board a question and if a ghost is around they will answer by moving it, right?"
"Ghosts don't exist."
Okay Danny was not taking personal offense here but he was a half ghost and he ruled the Ghost Zone filled with ecto-entities that could count as ghosts. So yes, ghosts existed. It was a simple decision then as he floated down invisible crouching next to board still invisible and out of the way from them.
Making sure he made a lot of scraping noises as he moved the small wooden piece on the board to 'YES'.
Someone yelped and someone else shrieked, though Danny wasn't sure if that was a shriek of excitement or not. He still grinned at their reactions.
"Did that just move to 'YES'! It did, didn't it!"
Yea okay that earlier was a shriek of excitement considering how that girl in purple was jumping around. Though the poor kid among them looked a little paler now, Danny decided to keep an eye on the kid to make sure he wasn't overdoing it.
"Okay so a ghost is here?"
Maybe he should have bothered listening to Lady Gotham or Tucker more about the vigilantes of Gotham. Oh well no time better as this to learn. What did the girl call this boy again, RR? Danny wondered what that stood for.
He moved the piece around the board a little making sure they noticed before he spelled something out.
"N-O-S-H-I-T-S-H-E-R-L-O-C-K. No shit Sherlock. Ha! I like this ghost!" The tall one laughed, he believed the kid called him Red Hood earlier. Well the red helmet was a great testament to that sort of code name. Still he wondered about that weird feeling he got from the guy but pushed that aside for later.
"Well since there is a ghosts, what should we ask?"
"Maybe how old he is?"
"Think it rude to ask how he died?"
Danny rolled his eyes. Those were such mainstream questions.
"B-O-R-I-N-G, 1-6 , YES. Guys it looks like we are not were imaginativ."
"Well what do you suggest we ask then?"
"I don't know! Maybe he can show us a cool trick?"
"You know that reminds me of this game that's been out for a while, phasmophobia or something like that?"
Oh Danny knew this one! Tucker had told him about the game, he himself hadn't played it but he had watched his best friend do so, they had a lot of fun joking about how the ghosts were portrayed and the tools that were available to the players.
"So what? We ask the ghost to play Hide and Seek with us?"
"Let's cease this nonsense. This is not something we should mess with."
"Oh are you scared?"
He made a show of moving the wooden piece, doing his best not to snicker out loud as he moved the piece to count down from the number 9. Letting his own powers out a little to cause the already dim light to flicker and the room to cool down several degrees.
The reaction was instant once again. Though he didn't expect them to run for hiding spaces he definitely did not expect these people to pull out their weapons and position against each other's back like they were ready for a fight. Then again they were vigilantes
The poor kid among them looked even paler. Before his count down could reach 0 he decided to not scare the poor kid more. Pulling back his powers the room's temperature normalized and the lights stopped flickering. He moved the wooden piece knowing that at least one of them was watching it in anticipation.
"J-K-S-O-R-R-Y"
"I think the ghost just apologized to us?" The RR teenager said carefully and Danny couldn't help the sheepish smile even if they couldn't see it in his invisible state.
"You know about the game?"
He moved the piece to YES.
"So you thought it was fucking appropriated to scare us like that?"
He moved the piece around and placed it back to YES before spelling out sorry again. The vigilantes shared a look and Danny decided to spell out a question.
"L-I-T-T-L-E-G-U-Y-O-K-A-Y"
"Huh? Uh yea Robin is fine." They looked confused but Danny kept his eyes on the kid. Well the poor boy still looked very pale but he also appeared to try to put on a brave front, it nearly caused a chuckle to escape the halfa.
"Can you show yourself?"
"S-U-R-E"
Not like he was really going to show himself but this was going to be fun, he thanked the Ancients that he was taking lessons with Pandora on how to manipulate his own ectoplasm. He summoned a blob of it making sure he himself was still invisible as he let the green blob be visible, forming it and making it look like a blob ghost.
The reaction was once again instant. They yelled in the chaos all he caught sounded like 'Lazarus water! Moving Lazarus Water!' Before the pale kid, Robin they said, slashed at his ectoplasm blob with his katana, essentially doing nothing to the blob of ectoplasm. The sword just went through it and Danny still holding it confused just instinctively let it reform the shape he gave it.
Danny blinked, okay now he was definitely not showing himself. "This is no a ghost but a Pit Demon!"
From the corner of the eye he saw Lady Gotham appear in the room staring at him disapprovingly and holding that ghost club she had used on Clockwork.
"I can explain, really! I was just joking with them!" He stood holding his hands up to smooth the situation, the green blob fell to the ground splashing against the Ouija Board with a loud splat. His chances of not get hit like Clockwork by Lady Gotham were becoming slimmer.
"WHO SAID THAT?!"
Shit, he hadn't used ghost speech but said that out loud.
#danny phantom#danny fenton#dp x dc#fanfic#damian wayne#jason todd#tim drake#dick grayson#stephanie brown#oujia board#lady gotham#unedited#prompt idea#Danny was just trying to joke with Gotham vigilantes#He gets mistaken for a Pit Demon in the end#Damian is not good with ghosts#dpxdc#dcxdp#crossover#no beta wie die like danny#Lady Gotham is not amused
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filmbro-zoned (teaser)
❝Who knew all it takes is a hot girl with top-tier taste for a man to admit he's wrong?❞
g e n r e : college! au, fluff, crack, suggestive
w o r d c o u n t : 1k for teaser (approx 20k words for full fic)
s u m m a r y : self-proclaimed movie mastermind chwe vernon minds his business—whether that be avoiding the popular, problematic kids in his college to reducing customer interest in his parents' film store. his plan of isolation, however, is completely destroyed when you, a seemingly insane disney fan, slams his perfect movie taste and ask for his help to take down an evil ex.
w a r n i n g s : loosely inspired by watching the detectives, film major! vernon who owns an outdated film store, mc is the baddest (but also the craziest) bitch in this fic, vernon is a loser, film major! mingyu who will be violated many times in this fic sorry king, mentions of many filmbro films which will also be violated, self-indulgent mentions of some of my favourite films, kissing, mentions of sex but no actual sex because im fearing god today, barbenheimer reference <3
p l a y l i s t : if you're too shy (then let me know) by the 1975 || q&a by seventeen || wonderful women by the smiths || confidence by ocean alley
t a g l i s t : @hyuckworld @hiraethmae @lllucere @intoanothermind @kokoiinuts
a u t h o r ' s n o t e : who would have thought i'd be writing a college au huh...alice will never let me live this down...also guys once again so sorry for constantly posting this hopefully i have found a way for the loophole...let us see if this teaser gets shown in the tags...
“WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON WOLF OF WALL STREET, AMERICAN PSYCHO, PULP FICTION…FIGHT CLUB, SAVING PRIVATE RYAN, SCARFACE…”
You squinted at the list, finding the names neverending. “Jeez, this list keeps going, huh?”
He could not help the scoff. “And you called me a Filmbro.” He set his forearms on the counter, locking his hands together. “What do you need these movies for?”
“They’re for my ex-boyfriend.”
The term had him pausing. Of course—the ex-boyfriend. How has he heard of this man, but not know a thing about him? Shit, he did not even know your name.
“This ex of yours has an…interesting taste,” he said slowly. “What’s he like?”
“I can tell you he attends the same college as you. Well, us,” you clarified, jerking your head towards the college colours of your server’s hoodie. “Film major. Just like you, actually.”
“Oh?” Small world. “What’s the name?”
“Kim Mingyu. Do you know him?”
Vernon Chwe nearly shit his oversized jeans.
A hesitant nod of his head. “I have a few classes with him.”
“Oh?” Your stare was a little more intense now. “What do you think of him?”
Right.
Another fated question—the people around him had to stop asking him such controversial questions, or else he was bound to piss someone off. You were already letting him off the hook too many times; one more judgemental comment, and he was having that Princess movie set smashed on his head.
Kim Mingyu. Fuckass Kim Mingyu. Film major—just like him. One of the most popular boys in the year—very unlike him. All the teachers love his essays, all the girls love his freakishly-perfect six-pack, which Vernon is extremely irritated (and devastatingly intimidated) by.
What all these people failed to realise, though, was that Mingyu was the biggest piece of shit to grace the halls of his university—and the planet, if dramatics were in order. If you thought that Vernon was a filmbro, then Mingyu was Filmbrother. Filmcomrade. Filmnemesis.
It was as if you could hear the thoughts churning in his head. “You can be honest, you know. He did dump me at the end of the day.” A smirk began to appear. “Say your worst.”
The reassurance did not help. “I mean,” he started, swiping your card, “He’s okay? I haven’t talked to him enough to have an opinion on him.”
A half-truth—that should suffice.
But because the fates like to shit on his head every now and then for kicks, they decided to leave you unsatisfied with his answer. “Or, you can keep lying!”
Excellent intuition, really. “I’m not!” he exclaimed, slapping the card back on the counter. “I really don’t know much about him.”
The big man upstairs was testing him even further, when, with a determined gaze, you set your elbows atop the surface. You leaned closer, tilting your head to the side as you inspected him, and Vernon blinked back at the sheer lack of space you had created. His mouth twisted, eyes frantically darting at the features of your face, not quite taking in the entirety of your being. Your vision seemed to work perfectly, because it caught the slight flush at the tops of his cheeks, where it was just pale skin seconds before.
Your smirk deepened. “Judging by your blush, you’re either terrible at lying…or,” you offered, voice lowering a little as you drummed your fingers against the counter, “You’ve never had a hot girl this close to you.”
Fuck everything and everyone, because that only made him blush more furiously. You could not help the chuckle that escaped, deciding to cease torturing him and take your card. “I’ll not say the answer, Mr. Filmbro, but I think you already know.”
Since he had no plans of turning into a human form of a ketchup bottle, he evaded the topic entirely, instead focusing on interrogating you. “You still haven’t told me how Mingyu is related to the movie list you made.”
That seemed to hold your interest. “Oh, of course!” Putting the list back into your bag, you began, “Well, the list holds my ex-boyfriend’s favourite films. I wanted to know your opinion on a few.”
He could not contain his sigh. Oh, he had an opinion on these films that you mentioned. Again, he would rather be buried with his thoughts on the specific genre than ever tell you. The curiosity, though, was eventually going to eat him alive.
So much for minding his business.
“I mean…” he began to think, trying to find the right words. “I don’t mind them? Godfather is a good film, but I’ve seen better from Brando. I like American Psycho, but again, people tend to miss the point of the movie.”
As you nodded, listening to his two-cents on the movies you mentioned, he paused, furrowing his brows. “Why do you care about my opinion?”
You smacked your lips together, folding the list back. “I don’t know much about you, Mr. Filmbro,” you began, “But you don’t run a filmstore without knowing a thing or two about the films you sell.”
“So?” He crossed his arms atop the counter. “Shouldn’t you have asked the guy who you made the list about?”
“Trust me,” you said, your smirk turning more into a rageful flash of teeth, “I know exactly what he thinks of these films.”
Don’t particularly know what to make of that comment. “Well, I don’t know what my opinion for these films is going to help you in any way.”
“It has helped.” You paused then, waiting to see if he would egg you on, asking how his seemingly tame opinions would play into the grand scheme of things. “All part of my master plan.”
Master plan? Vernon may have been interested before, but he was certain that, before, he could have hid it without letting you catch onto it. In a sudden flash, though, as if his mouth was beyond his control, he regrettably slipped out the words which had you smiling more than he would have liked.
“What master plan?”
He almost closed his eyes. Shit. Now I’m fucking invested.
The corners of your mouth, lifting upwards, had him almost nervous. “I was hoping you would say that.”
#seventeen imagines#seventeen x reader#vernon imagines#vernon fluff#seventeen fluff#svt x reader#svt fluff#svt imagines#seventeen fanfic#hansol vernon chwe#seventeen suggestive#vernon suggestive#vernon x reader
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Can we get Velvette for the nsfw alphabet?
NSFW alphabet for Velvette
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Honestly she immediately passes out. It’s really cute when you lay beside her though because she subconsciously cuddles into you.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Her favourite body part on herself is her hair if that counts. She loves expressing herself with it. On you her favourite body part is your ass, no matter your gender.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
She’s a squirter.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
She doesn’t really have any secrets from you. Well maybe the fact she’s designing lingerie specifically for you as a surprise.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
She knows a thing or two. She knows the basics. Besides, if she ever needs advice she just asks Valentino.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
She rides you. Or if you’re the one getting fucked it’s from behind.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
She’s a little goofy. More so attitude than silliness.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
It’s the same colour/s as her hair. She doesn’t shave but she keeps it trimmed.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Not very romantic. She’s more kinky with sex than romantic.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
She uses all sorts of toys. She gets free ones from Valentino all the time.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
She likes being tied up and also tying you up. She likes being put in her place but also putting you in your place. She’s sadistic but also a masochist. She’s a switch if you couldn’t tell.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Anywhere she wants. She’s a lady who gets what she wants.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
If you’re in clothes that look really good on you. She’s a woman with fashion.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
She won’t involve anyone else in the bedroom. She’s way too protective of you for that shit.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
She prefers receiving. She loves to ride your face and tug at your hair.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
She has a need for speed.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
She’s a busy woman of course there’s gonna be quickies sometimes!
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Yes she’s game to take risks. Anything she finds interesting at least.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Around 3 or 4 rounds.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
She has tons of toys from Valentino. She uses them on herself and you.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
A LOT of teasing. She’s a brat.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
She’s loud like really loud. She’s got nothing to be ashamed of in her opinion.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
She will make you taste your own cum.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Small tits and a medium sized ass.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Every few days.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Immediately. Literally immediately.
#hazbin hotel#smut#hazbin hotel smut#hazbin smut#smut fic#headcanon#hazbin x reader#smut headcanons#smut alphabet#hazbin velvette#hazbin vees#hazbin hotel velvette#velvette x reader#velvette hazbin hotel#velvette headcanons
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𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐃𝐑 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄: 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐓
𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐈𝐍 𝐃𝐑. Almost 20 years! But time for me as a vampire is diffrent (i will explain that later lmao) 𝐀𝐆𝐄: as a vampire literally from 0-20 lmao 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐏 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒: still single butttt we are close to something lmao
「 ✦ 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓷𝓸𝓽𝓮𝓼 ✦ 」
hello? how are we feeling? I AM SO BACK? i'm super happy tell what happened, but everything will go super fast until cullens and I will move to forks
sooo let's get starteeeeeeeed
「 ✦ before forks ✦ 」
𝓽𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮 - 𝓫𝓮𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓮 𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓴𝓼
1989 - i become a vampire
89-97 i learn how to live as one of the cullens
97-03 me and cullens live in mountains
2003 - we move to forks
1 9 8 9 - 2 0 0 3
so there is not much to write about, it was basically me learning and living in the mountains with the cullens. That’s when i decided to stay with the cullens as part of a family 🫶 we got to know each other etc. 😋
F O R K S
in 2003 we (finally) moved to forks! AND BEFORE WE MOVE ON:
I TOTALLY RECOMMEND SHIFTING TO TWILIGHT. THE VIBE IS E V E R Y T H I N G AND I WILL NOT DESCRIBE EVERYTHING HERE BC I JUST WANT YOU TO SHIFT THERE AND SEE YOURSELF LMAOOO
the cullens are sooooooooooo sweet and nice i'm literally DYING to see them again when i shift back there!
alice is the sweetest & nicest person on earth. i love her <3
SO
when we moved in, of course me and edward, alice, jasper ,emmet and rosalie needs to go to school, and that's when it all starts!
— ୨୧₊˚ school
it's actually pretty good there - i kept myself with the cullens, we spent whooooole days with each other and it's honestly pretty funny watching everybody from this perspective. (bella moved to forks in 2005, and i will probably skip a lot of things that are not important lmaooo). in school i "met" some of bella's future friends, and i meaaaaaaaaaan they were not giving any good vibe y'know? I JUST DON'T LIKE THEM OKAYYY
alice and edward are literally the best people on earth. THEY HELPED ME SOOO MUCH. gosh. and carlisle and esme???? the cutest oh my goooood.
actually school is pretty fun. i love going to schools in my drs (like hogwarts etc.) it's pretty fun experience!
— ୨୧₊˚ before 2005
pretty much nothing happened before 2005
HAHAHAHAHAHA SIKEEEE
ladies and gentleman, please welcome raphael pelli. bro is MAJESTIC.
basically his father is from Italy and his mother is from US, they decided to stay in USA, they lived in New York, but decided to move to forks where his mom was growing up. AND THAT'S HOW WE MET Y'ALLLLLLLLL.
and when i tell you he just freaking appeared there. literally from nowhere (i did not script how we will met, just a little bit from his backstory, just wanted to play with it and see what will happen!!!)
so one day in 2004, around may i just walked to school, as usual with edward (we were literally spending much more time with each other by then, yk, because alice was with jasper, emmet was with rosalie, we didn't want to interrupt lmao) and we saw some boys gathering around someone, when we walked pass them, i saw freaking raphael pelli. like for a milisecond. BUT WHEN I TELLL YOUUUUUU
timothee was the greatest choice for face claim i ever made LMAO
that was the first time i saw him, later i did not see him much, sometimes our eyes crossed during lunch, but that's all. BUT
yup, there is a BUT
BUT
during one of history classes he rushed in late, apologised and after few seconds of thinking he sat next to me. DUDE
and also i forgot to tell you about on thing. ABOUT SMELL. you know, it's known that vampires smell blood and shit, but i decided to do something a little bit diffrent - scripted that i do not smell just "blood" in general. for example = bella smelled like vanilla mixed with a little bit of honey. you know what i mean? i think it's better than just "a smell of blood". so,
i scripted that raphael smelled like fresh flowers on a glade. and i just sat there, in history class, thinking about that goddamn flowers. AND AFTER THE LESSON ENDED HE TURNED TO ME.
i was like "oh shit" and he went "i'm raphael" and i was still like "oh shit" so i just said "tara." BUT WHEN I TELL YOU that when i shifted i started using vivienne instead of tara. idk why, but it is soooo pretty. so i just added "but i prefer vivienne" AND GOSH
he just asked some questions like "you are living with the cullens?" (yes) "so you are also cullen?" (yes indeed) "people are talking" (people are always talking) "would you like to do the history presentation with me?" (the history teacher always gave us presentations to do in pairs, but i have always done them alone) (i always do them alone) "oh sorry" and i was like shiiiiiiiiiiiiit i fucked up, so i tried in other way (people will think you are a freak) "'why?" (no one talks to the freaky cullens. we are weird) "oh." and we just stared at each other in silence it was sooooo awkward for a second, but THEN HE SAID "i don't think you are a freak"
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH SHFKWEHFIUHWRUFIRIUGHUG
BRO. DO NOT TALK TO ME RN. IT'S THE FIRST THING I WROTE HERE WHEN I WOKE UP FROM THIS SHIFT. IM THINKING ABOUT THIS 24/7 how should i move on.
so we talked on our way out to the parking lot (as it was the last class of that day) you know, just some silly stuff, i asked him where is he from, why his famly moved here, how he finds himself here, he asked about my life before the cullens and I moved to forks, so obv i lied that we lived in canada, but we decided to move here as carlisle received a job offer. when we were outside and i saw edward waiting for me i just said bye and left it was soooooo awkward he just said "see ya" and went to his car IM SOOO MAD AT MYSELF THAT I DID NOT TALK TO HIM MORE THEN GOSH I WASTED THE POTENCIAL
so when i got back to car and edward was just standing there and was like "what was that" and i went "what?" and he went "y'know what" and i was like "oh that. he started talking to me in class, so i didn't want to be mean and continued" and he went "sure" BRO. EDWARD. STOP IT.
i can confirm that edward was first shipper here LMAOOOO
spoiler: i did the presentation with raphael. and we actually became friends? i mean we talked a lot during our classes, sometimes after, it was greattttttt AND HE SAID HE LIKES ME? and i was like bro HOOOOOLD UP. hold onnnnnnn. he sometimes even WAITED FOR ME after some classes to go with me to the parking lot etc. GOSH
in the next school year i decided to talk to him moreeee i mean i waited for that moment for so long LIKE LET US BE TOGETHER ALREADY GOD LMAO
once i sat with him and him only during lunch break, of course after that i think rosalie told carlisle about this and carlisle maybe he wasn't mad, no, he was just overprotective and was telling me "you know it will not work like that" "be careful you are still very young" and iiiiiiiiiiiii knooooooooooooow.
but i didn't stop talking to raphael hell no LMAO
— ୨୧₊˚ 2005
in january bella moves to forks, and one day when i'm waiting for edward on a parking lot after lessons and he comes back, i caan see something in him yk??? like something changed??? so i asked him "what happened?" he didn't respond and just opened the car door. "you know i can go inside your mind without you knowing right?" i laughed, AND HE LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS CRAZY OR SOMETHING LMAO
so he just told me about bella, and that she is diffrent than others.
after that in the evening i decided to shift back <3
it was super fun i will probably do some other posts about the cullens, AN ABOUT SOME MORE SITUATIONS ABOUT RAPHAEL!!!!!!! AND ABOUT THE MURDER BEFORE BELLA MOVED TO FORKS!!!!!!!!!! i wanted to give you this as fast as possible so so that's why there is not much in here! but bare with me lmao!!!!
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II NSFW Alphabet
Warnings: all of it…
!! mdni !!
⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚
✶ A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex.)
➮ II is the king of aftercare. Cleans you up, runs you a bath if that’s your sort of thing. Will bring you a drink and rub your back as you fall asleep.
✶ B = Body Part (Favorite of theirs, favorite of yours.)
➮ He loves his arms. Being a drummer, he’s constantly using his arms for long periods of time and he loves the way they look and feel.
➮ He loves your hips. Hands always on them, squeezing them, massaging circles into them.
✶ C = Cum (Anything to do with cum.)
➮ He likes to cum on your stomach or chest. Just likes seeing you painted with him.
✶ D = Dirty Secret (Self Explanatory?)
➮ He likes taking pictures of you without you knowing. The two of you obviously talked about this before hand but you don’t know exactly when he’s taking these photos. He’s the only one who sees them.
✶ E = Experience (How experienced are they?)
➮ He’s somewhat experienced. You might have to teach him a few things but he learns quickly.
✶ F = Favorite Position
➮ You on top. He likes to look up at you, gripping your hips as he thrusts up into you.
✶ G = Goofy (Are they serious or fun and playful?)
➮ He’s pretty serious, his goal purely set on making you feel good.
✶ H = Hair (How well groomed are they?)
➮ He’s all natural baby.
✶ I = Intimacy (How intimate are they?)
➮ As stated before, he’s purely focused on you most of the time. If he’s not caressing your face while slowly thrusting into you, he’s whispering how much he loves and appreciates you.
✶ J = Jerking Off
➮ He likes sending you videos and pictures of his hand wrapped around himself. Loves it even more if you send something back.
✶ K = Kinks
➮ He wants to be tied up sometimes.
✶ L = Location (Their favorite place to do the do.)
➮ He likes doing it on couches.
➮ With him loving you on top, it’s the easiest place. His feet planted on the ground, his back up against the cushions.
✶ M = Motivation (What turns them on?)
➮ If you sit on his lap or throw your legs over him, he’s done for.
✶ N = No (Something they would never do.)
➮ No shit. No piss.
✶ O = Oral (Preference on giving and receiving.)
➮ He’s obviously very appreciative if you want to give him head but he never expects it.
➮ He, on the other hand will spend many hours between your legs. Whether it’s actually pleasuring you or teasing your thighs and hips, he throughly enjoys his time down there.
✶ P = Pace (Are they rough and fast or slow and gentle?)
➮ He’s a slow lover but if you want to switch up the pace, he’s more than willing to get rough with you.
✶ Q = Quickie
➮ Although he does love taking his time, he also enjoys quickies. The thought of getting caught really gets him going.
✶ R = Risk (Do they experiment?)
➮ Because he doesn’t have a ton of experience, he’s hesitant to try new things but eventually finds what he likes and dislikes. Hence the bondage kink.
✶ S = Stamina (How long do they last?)
➮ An average amount of time, but is quick to arouse again. Meaning multiple orgasms for the both of you.
✶ T = Toys (Do they use them? On you or themselves?)
➮ He has one fleshlight that you semi-jokingly gifted him for when he’s away. He uses it sometimes and will always send you pics of him fucking it.
✶ U = Unfair (How much do they tease you?)
➮ He loves teasing. It prolongs the whole thing for both of you.
➮ Kissing and nipping on your hips and thighs for 10 straight minutes before going down on you. Sliding just his tip in multiple times before thrusting into you fully.
✶ V = Volume (How loud are they?)
➮ He’s not super loud but does often let out very pretty moans.
✶ W = Wild Card (Random head cannon.)
➮ He can’t have sex without music playing. He can’t explain it, only that he can’t.
✶ X = X-Ray (What will we find under their clothes?)
➮ Lotssssss of tattoos.
✶ Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
➮ Relatively high. He’s not constantly thinking about sex but once he gets going, you’re in for a long night.
✶ Z = Zzz (How quickly do they fall asleep after?)
➮ He won’t sleep until you sleep. Your head on his chest, him caressing your head and back. He’ll stare up at the ceiling and wait until your breaths are even and heavy.
⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆。°✩₊✩°。⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚
I’m stuck at work so I’m writing all these hehe
If you wanna see anything specific, just request!
K. Bye bye.
#sleep token#sleep token worship#sleep token ii#sleep token x reader#ii sleep token#ii x reader#sleep token ii x reader#sleep token fic#alphabet
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WOOYOUNG NSFW ALPHABET
A - Aftercare (how is he after sex)
Wooyoung is a sweetheart and we know it, he will ask you if you need anything and he'll caress your hair while you're falling asleep together.
B- Bodypart (his favourite bodypart on you)
Your eyes. He goes crazy for those eyes, wether they look up at him innocently or if they're filled with lust, everything's sexy to him.
C - Cum (anything to do with cum)
He probably loves to cum on your body, preferably your chest (he might even lick it off)
D - Dirty secret (his dirty secret)
Wooyoung isn't very secretive about his dirty fantasies, he doesn't mind telling you at all, but he hasn't told you yet about the time he used your panties to jerk off on tour-
E - Experience (how experienced is he?)
Wooyoung is fairly experienced I think, he definitely knows how to play and what to do/not to do.
F - Favourite position
Missionary because he gets off on the expressions on your face, but also loves doggy style mirror sex.
G - Goofy (how he acts in the moment?)
He might be a bit goofy sometimes but not often, he's more of a smirking/teasing kind of guy.
H - Hair (how groomed is he?)
I think he's well groomed, he has some hair there because he's too lazy to shave all off and he probably thinks it's annoying but he makes sure to keep it neat and clean for you.
I - Intimacy (how passionate is he?)
Oh this man can get really intimate and passionate. You might forget because of his teasing and bratty persona but when you're alone he'll become more serious and really affectionate to you.
J - Jack off (how often does he masturbate?)
Probably 4-5 times a week but don't be surprised if it's more than that.
K - Kink
He probably enjoys a little bit of pain play because he loves to bite, he might enjoy spanking, but the biggest kink of all... *drum roll* DEGRADING KINK. (This man loves being degraded and we all know it like... he literally confessed it a thousand times).
L - Location (what's his favourite place to have sex?)
Everywhere around the house honestly, also loves it when you come blow him inbetween dance practices.
M - Motivation (what keeps him going?)
The pleasure expressions on your face do it for him.
N - NO (what is a no-go for him/turn-offs?)
I don't think he'll do role play in bed? It's not something he really hates or anything but he doesn't wanna make it an act, he just wants it to be reality between you two (does that make sense?).
O - Oral (giving or receiving, skill etc.)
He's more on the receiving side I think, but he'll make sure to give you your turn too, but he might use his hands more than his mouth (that doesn't mean he won't tho🤪).
P - Pace (fast and rough? slow and sensual?)
I see him as more of a fast&rough kind of guy cause he has no patience and he loves the chaos.
Q - Quickie (their opinion on quickies)
Loves quickies, he'll literally do anything to get in your pants at any place, any time.
R - Risk (experiments, taking risks etc.)
We know him. He loves this kind of shit. He'll gladly experiment with different kinks, will come up with new positions and would get kicks out of doing stuff at places he'll be caught (not like illegally but like...with members etc.)
S - Stamina (how long does he last?)
He lasts for about 2-3 rounds I think? Might need you to be on top for the 3rd round.
T - Toys (do they own toys? does he use them with his partner or himself?)
He doesn't mind toys at all. I don't think he owns them but he'll use it with you if you want to.
U - Unfair (how much do they like to tease?)
I don't even need to elaborate on how much of a tease this guy actually is. He'll play with your mind and body and make you go crazy before actually giving in and do something about what's going on between your legs.
V - Volume (how loud are they? what sounds do they make?)
Wooyoung is a loud mf and he will be in bed too. Loud moans, whines, any sound, honestly.
W - Wild Card (random headcanon)
Before you knew it Wooyoung had shoved you inside some sort of broom closet. His lips were all over your neck as his fingers unbuttoned your pants and slid into your underwear. "Wooyoung we gotta go back to your practice room, they'll come find us," you moaned as he played with your slick. "Then they'll find us. Gotta make my precious cum first."
X - X-Ray (what's going on in them pants?)
Probably average, more thick and girthy than it is long and probably has those sexy veins of his run along the shaft.
Y - Yearning (how high is their sexdrive?)
HIGH sexdrive. Like he can do it any day. Multiple times.
Z - ZZZ (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards?)
He won't pass out until he knows you're all good. He'll wanna sleep with you in his arms tho.
Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @changbinslovelylegs @jonghostie @lovjensoo @1-800-shedevil @mjyungi @bratty-tingz @sugarnspice630
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𝒋𝒐𝒉𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒆 𝒈𝒖𝒊𝒍𝒃𝒆𝒓𝒕 𝑵𝑺𝑭𝑾 𝒂𝒍𝒑𝒉𝒂𝒃𝒆𝒕
𝒎𝒂𝒚𝒃𝒆 𝒂 𝒍𝒊𝒍 𝒔𝒎𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒚
sorry if this is shit i was high while writing this ngl..
༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨*:·.༻¨:·..·:¨༺ ༻¨*:·.༻¨:·..·:¨༺
A- Aftercare
(what their like after sex)
Johnnies definitely tired after but will run u two a warm shower/bath and help you clean yourself up if your too tired.
wants to make sure u feel loved and cared for !!!
B-Body Parts
(Their favorite body part of their partners and of their own)
i feel like his fav body part of yours is your waist just because he can hold it and he can use it to pull you closer to him,
his fav body part of his is probably like his hands just because of how many photos he takes with his hands infront of his face
C-Cum
(anything to do with cum)
would rather finish inside of you but also rlly likes finishing on your stomach.
D-Dirty Secret
(self explanatory)
honestly is a little bit of a sub sometimes,
E-Experience
(how experienced are they?)
he rlly knows how to use his tongue and loves to eat you out. he knows hes good at it to..
F-Favorite position
(very self explanatory)
Definitely spooning. man loves cuddling in general so whats better than cuddling and sex?
G-Goofy
(Are they more goofy or serious during the act?)
will prob make lil jokes when its appropriate but other than that hes more serious.
H-Hair
(how well groomed? does the carpet match the drapes?)
he usually trims it a little just to make it look neat. and the carpet does not match the drapes since hes a natural blonde.
I-Intimacy
(how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
hes a little awkward the first time you guys did it but now hes definitely a romantic.
J-Jack off
(masturbation headcannon)
jerks off 2-4 times a week because he gets wayyy to nervous to ask and is afraid hes gonna make u uncomfy
K-Kink
(one or more of their kinks)
LOVESSSS to overstimulate you until ur begging him to stop,
neck kissing.... self explanatory..
L-Location
(where he likes to do it)
honestly doesnt like doing it in even semi-public places just because of the risk factor but rlly likes in the bedroom or kitchen sex..
M-Motivation
(what turns them on)
neck kissesss !!!! he LOVESSS them. you give even a SMALL peck on his neck and hes all over you.
N-No
(something he wont do)
degrading. like hes fine with the tame shit but he doesnt want to say something rlly rude to you or hurtful even if you want him to. it makes him feel like a douche.
Oral
(preference in giving or recieving, skill, etc)
hes mastered the art of eating you out. you dont even gotta say nun and hes already got ur legs over his shoulders. he wont deny a blowjob tho,
P-Pace
(how fast or slow they go during)
he will start off gentle to let you adjust to him but once hes about to finish hes definitely speeding up
Q-Quickie
(their opinion on quickies)
Not a big fan of it at all but wont say no. he wants to make sure you feel loved and you know that hes not just using u as a hookup.
R-Risk
(are they down to experiment and try new things? do they take risks when their horny?)
would be down to try new things with you depending on how extreme. he thinks trying new things with you creates a stronger relationship and helps figure out what the other person likes.
S-Stamina
(how many rounds can they go? how long do they last?)
he can go around 2-3 rounds before getting tired but either way he will always make sure you finish.
T-Toys
(do they own them? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
owns a fleshlight but thats it. If you wanted him to use toys on you he would definitely be willing to explore that interest with you.
U-Unfair
(do they tease? if so, how much?)
he doesnt tease you that much but if he wants to then he will.
V-Volume
(how loud are they? what sound do they make)
its mostly muffles grunts or whimpers but when hes close he gets louder.
W-Wild Card
(random headcannon)
loves going shopping with you and watching you try on clothes. also adores when you see something and immediately say smth like "youd look so good in this," to him.
X- X-Ray
(whats going on under their clothes?)
6.7 inches, neat, and slightly curved
Y-Yearning
(how high is their sex drive?)
2-3 times a week but will definitely do it more if you wanted it.
Z-Zzz
(how long does it take for them to fall asleep after?)
hes exhausted afterwards but needs to make sure your alright and comfortable before falling asleep with his arms wrapped around ur waist.
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MERRY CHRISTMAS !!! gifts ensue.
he really went. blep. hi user @ilyuu. im proud of this one so congrats wanderer takes home first gift wooo
lmao id like to apologise in advance as this was brought on because of me but I got super burnt out drawing like 20 of these over the course of 2 days... if you see the quality of the drawings declining ( which you will ) please don't mind it!! thank you.
@anonbinaryweirdo. sigh. i get whiplash whenever you're super nice and then in the span of the next three seconds immediately do something vile
@soleillunne. we don't talk much but from what I know you are such a sweet person omg !! and your works??? dies inside (in a good way). the way you write xiao maks me so. puddle like
@realkavehgf. we agree on one things (amongst others) and that is that kaveh is. kAVEH IS. MALFUNCTIONS PERISHES.
@emphasisondrvgs. you scare me. please take your ranpo and quietly see yourself out LMAO /j
@pjsk-writin. AMIMI ONE OF MY FIRST EVER MOOTS !!! im so proud of mikoto. sighs. straitjackets are smth else to draw .. BUT HES SO. MMMMMM !!!!
@circyexistforcontent AAAHHH HI PRECIOUS. I LIKE YOU BUT I DONT REALLY LIKE DILUC SO. TAKE THIS... quietly throws up
@whats-it-mean. puka puka. head empty. puka puka. please stop your affairs with my mother.
@falors. UGLY SOBS. UGLY CRIES. I LOVE YOU /P SM. WAAHHHH TEARS TEARS TEARS you are the most talented person ever I S T G gRAAAHHH YOU BETTER GET 18412409128410948 FOLLOWERS THIS YEAR OR I WILL RIOT. mwah.
@dustofthedailylife. omg. hi dust... tbh ive been so concerned for you recently with how much life is running you over with a pickup truck so wishing for your improved health soon !! alhaith is a smort guy what can I say
@the-white-void. DEAREST. literally one of the first people I ever interacted with on this platform and you're actually. like. literally one of the sweetest people I have ever met. KLEE IS SUCH A CUTIE FJSFJDK
@kaeffeinee. OMG. m..my kitten- woah WHO just said that. wild shit right there. have something you don't like?? have something that's been pestering you for far too long?? no worries. its the official nag seal of mendokusai !!!!
@lillonvia. sobs. I didn't do the man justice.loud sobs. DFSDDSF YOUR ART MAKES ME WANT TO LIKE DISENTAGRAT INTO GLOWING BALLS oF FUZZ AND FLOAT INTO THE HEAVENS I DONT KNOW HOW ELSE TO DESCRIBE IT. WE ARE SO DELULU oVER XIAO. FOAMS AT THE MOUTH
@absolutelyobsessedkiya. HELP WHY IS MINORI SO BRIGHT.... she's literally shining what. we need to talk more pspsspsp I just now found out that you're a fan of milgram!! remember like last year I was all 'whose that pretty pink person on their pfp??' AND NOW I FINALLY KNOW THATS ITS MUU RAHHHH
@auroratumbles. meow. cat. what a sweetie. I don't even know what my art style is doing here anymore Istg what even. what even BYE LETS TALK ABOUT XIAO LATER !!
@papiliotao. mwah. a kith for you. mWAH. ANOTHER KITH. SJFKSDJFLS GRAHHH YOU ARE THE SW E. E T E ST AND YOUR THE SWEETEST AND YOUR CAT IS THE SWEETEST AND YOUR VOICE IS MAKING ME WANT TO ELEVATE INTO THE CLOUDS AND YOURE SO SILLY EVEN THOUGH YOU DONT LIKE AKITIO SHINONOME
@yinyinggie. hihihi ying !! it honestly amazes me how you're able to juggle so many events and servers at once. im actually in awe. always look at xiao he's so emo and short
@solxima. GRAHHH HI. I DONT LIKE HOW JINGYUAN LOOKS IN THIS BUT. DLJFLSDJ DIES> I CANT DO THIS AN Y M O RE. your honor. hes so cat coded hes so cat coded he's so PERISHS
@yelshin. WAIIIIT NO YOUR NAME GOT CUT OFF> iM SORRY. I don't know why he looks... so r e g a l in this but its definitely giving off oRAtRice MecAnIquE DAnAlySe CARdiNAle .
@vennnnn-diagram. LOUD SCREAMING N O . YOUR NAME GOT CUT OFF TOOOODJSKFLSD JGAIJFAD JKLJFD:LFS. anyways. I need to see nahida smiling more she deserves everything and then some. aranaras are so silly giggles
@lume-nosity. I hold the slightest bit of guilt for putting your angsty ish drawing right next to happy lil nahida buT AHAHAH IT MAKES IT HURT MORE IG. took some inspo from your blog title... mwah ily lume. I WAS SO SCARED TO TALK TO YOU AT FIRST WHEN I SENT YOU THAT MOOT ASK BUT I AM EVER SO HAPPY THAT I DID !!!
th end. im actually so dead lmao my fingers actually were starting to bleed afklsdjfaskdjfklsdjflkasdjflksjflkjowejtoij enjoy your Christmas gifts mooties !! if anyone asks why I haven't been posting fics as promised. this is why. ill be in a coffin for a while please let my soul rest
OH AND FORGOT TO MENTION I DREW THESE BASD ON THE MOOTIES THAT COMMNTED ON MY THINGY LIKE LAST WEEK WHICH ASKED WHICH CHARACTER THY WANTD I LOVE YOU ALL PSPS I PROMIS
#★ ˎˊ˗ melongallery!#genshin#genshin impact#my art#doodle#rkgk#my artwork#fanart#genshin impact fanart#genshin art#genshin impact art#art#illustration#genshinimpact#genshinimpactfanart#genshin fanart#digital art#digital illustration#digital drawing#drawing#artists on tumblr#christmas#wanderer#scaramouche#childe#kazuha#kaveh#ranpo#mikoto#diluc
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