#because they're at home not at uni where I'll be. and that's so far away from ANY of the venues it's ridiculous

[lonesomedotmp3]

thinking about buying tix off someone but I don't go to a lot of concerts and I'm kind of stupid so I don't wanna get scammed or something lol

[ghosttownwherenoonegoes]

My heart is crying over pasta bake & so I'm writing to the Munsons because I wanna be silly for 5 minutes🥺

It's written TO Eddie & Uncle Wayne, speaking as if I am in their universe. Because why not?🥺

TW NEGATIVITY NEGATIVITY NEGATIVITY AND I GUSH!!!!

Hey, Eddie.

So, uh... it's been a while since we got to spend time together, hasn't it? I can't even remember the sound of your voice, baby. That's my own fault, though. I always tell myself 'you can see Eddie when you're done studying/after work/once you've got X done' but when I've done these things, I have to do something else and then before I know it, I'm holding your guitar pick in the palm of my hand in the work break room when I'm getting in or out of my uniform and fighting off tears because I miss you so damn much it hurts.

I just don't know what to do, angel. Everything is so much all the time and it's getting increasingly so as the weeks go by and I feel like I'm drowning. Dad told me the other day that I do a really good impression of a duck; I look calm and serene on the surface but underneath, my feet are going like crazy to keep me afloat. And he's right and I hate it. I just... I don't know, Eddie. Everything is just... it's a lot and I keep trying to grapple things so that I can catch up with studying but it's getting to the point where if it gets any worse, there won't be catching up because it'll be next to impossible and the odds are already stacked against me. I have until the end of this week to complete an assignment, which I was graciously given an extension for (have you forgiven me for the 32 hour stint yet?🙏), and do three weeks' of uni work, otherwise it'll become four weeks of uni work and two assignments... yeah, I know... I'm disappointed in me too.

I thought I was doing well, and I was.... and then all of a sudden I wasn't and everything spiralled out of control faster than I could tighten my grip and I'm fighting to make it right. My job is so demanding that it asks for everything except a virgin sacrifice, but technically I give them that every time I show up for a shift, and I'm always so tired when I come home that I just don't wanna study so then I don't and then before I know it I'm a week behind but then work doesn't stop being intense because of the industry I work in and then university builds in intensity literally every week and then I stopped eating as much, I stopped sleeping as much and then before you know it, I'm here. Running on fumes, caffeine, spite, running on empty, burning the candle at both ends, telling people she's okay but watching the same film literally twenty-seven times in one week because it's comforting, staying away from you because if I look at you, my beloved, I'll cry, and I simply don't have the time to put myself back together when I've already fallen apart. It's hard enough trying to catch your own fall.

I know what's happening to me, I've been here before, years ago, when I got home from what happened to me (a story I've never told you but maybe one day I will, if you want to hear it), and I know how it ends. And it's happening again but I don't know if I have the strength to pull myself out of it a second time. So forgive me if my hold on you is loose but tight at the same time. I'm almost afraid to look at you, because looking at your chocolate button eyes will make me cry and yet, they're such a big comfort to me. Right now, I'm in a place where I can save things, I can fix it. But if this carries on, it'll be too far gone a situation and then where will I be??? Three years of uni work, down the pan, and for what? A several month long.... whatever the fuck this is? I don't know, Eddie. Maybe you do.

But anyway, I'm sliding this note under your door because I think you're at Hellfire Club right now and I don't want to linger around and disturb anyone. I've left Uncle Wayne a note too, would you please make sure he receives it? I love you both so much, and I'm sorry I've been away so long. Make sure I come back soon, okay? If it's left up to me, we'll never see each other again because I'm not enough for the lifestyle I worked so hard for and that means I'm not enough for you, either. And I want to be enough for you, so so badly. I'm not enough in the ways I should be and I'm too much in the ways I shouldn't be.

But it's... I don't know, Eddie. I'll figure it out. I can't cut back on my work hours because I need the money because everything is so damn expensive, I'm saving up to move out of my parents' house and paying my own bills and helping my parents with theirs when they need it. And also quitting uni, a daily thought I have, isn't an option because otherwise that's the last three years of my life wasted and I already feel like everything I've ever done at any point ever has been a waste too, so I HAVE to get this right.

I just want you here, Eddie. I miss you so much, you beautiful man. My sweet angel baby. I'm only trying to stand my ground because you did, too. You were absolutely fucking terrified but you went down with a fight and I need to be like that too, I want to be like that. I know I can be better than this, I usually am, and I don't understand why I'm struggling so much. It's pissing me off and I just want to crumple myself up, throw me away and get a new Eri because this one is fucking everything up and I hate her. The only things I like about Eri are her hair, her eyes, her creativity, her taste in music, and her friends. Everything else needs to be replaced.

People have told me this isn't my fault, but it IS. How can it not be, when it's my job, my degree, my choices whether to eat or sleep or not, me choosing whether or not to get stressed, me choosing to not study or to sit staring into space picking at my skin because everything is just so much that it scares me into not doing anything??? It's all on me, it's my fault, my responsibility, you know? I'm just not enough, Eddie, I'm not. And I need to be. I'm not even enough for you and that hurts so much because you're the best of the best. There's no one better than you.

I gotta go some chores, honey. I love you, so so so so much. I want to hold onto you and never let you go, not for a second. Will you please stay? I'm sorry I haven't given you a reason to, but please?🥺

All my love,

Erika.💗

P.S. I'm still wearing your necklace! I feel very much your girl today🥺🫂

------

Dearest Uncle Wayne,

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry. I'm sorry. God, I just wanna crawl into your lap and burrow myself into your flannel and cry. But I'd never ask to do that. Truth be told, I'm almost afraid to look at you because I'm worried you're angry and/or disappointed in me. I mean, I am so why wouldn't you be? You're amongst the very best of us, you and your boy.

And I... I feel like I'm amongst the worst, at least when it comes to all the Eris I've ever been. I've been here before, Uncle Wayne, and I barely survived it and I'm so scared it's happening again now, even though everything was going great. I had such a good handle on things but then uni increased the workload and then work suddenly got really intense and I couldn't breathe aaaaand it's a few months later and I still can't breathe and I'm scared to go under, Uncle Wayne. The dark scares me, you know it does, and I'm worried it'll be dark if things carry on. I won't do this, to clarify before you panic and grab the phone to call me, but I'm almost tempted to let everything go to shit just to see what would happen!!! But I'm holding onto your flannel, fighting like hell to make sure it doesn't happen even when I want it to. Because I don't actually want it, you know? It's just a thought and I feel like this particular negative thought is more reflective of my fears; not something I actually want.

But. I say this with affection, but I am a stubborn, black-hearted bitch who will eventually wake up, sick of her own shit, and smash through all the uni work I need to do, finish the assignment I'm afraid of and stop staring into space for hours on end, all because I'm overwhelmed with how much there is to do. I need to be more than this and I don't understand why I'm not, I don't understand why this is so hard. I mean, I know it is hard, working almost full-time and studying at the same time, but christ alive, Uncle Wayne, I'm crumbling under the pressure and I don't have a big enough broom to sweep me up and pat me into a neat little pile so you can pour coffee on it until it becomes me again.🥺

I'm really really lost, Uncle Wayne, and I need you to sit me down and lecture me until I cry (you won't have to try hard, just glare at me, raise your voice a little, and job's a good'un!🙃), and then hug me 'til I'm giggling. I think I could face all this properly if I had you here. I have a week to correct this whole academic mess but I'm not sure I can, not without continuing to sacrifice sleep, meals, and my time with you and Eddie. I don't remember your voice, I don't remember what arm you always outstretch first to hug me, I don't remember anything except your ghosts and I miss you both so much.

I'm sorry I'm not your Eri right now, Uncle Wayne. She's gone and I don't know where she is and I'm really scared.💔I need her and I need you and I need Eddie and I need... I don't know what I need but maybe you do. I can see you scratching your head right now.

But anyway. I love you lot and lots and I miss you and I wanna come over but I'm scared to in case you yell at me or tell me you don't love me anymore or this is all my fault or whatever else; it'd be deserved because it's all true. It is my fault! I let this happen and I need to fix it.

With all my love,

Eri.

[asispsyche]

About to finish my first year of university and want to commemorate it

Here are my takeaways:

Living on campus is incredible. Getting away from my family has been great for me and I've got my dorm back for next fall. I'm going to start working this summer in hopes of being able to get an apartment or something in the city for next summer instead of going home

I've learned so much about romantic relationships! Not from being in one! From witnessing my roommate's. Excellent example of what not to do.

I am not opposed to having a guy for a roommate. But 3 people in one room is not a good arrangement. Yes I mean the boyfriend

I. Love. The. City. Part of the reason I chose my uni was bc it's in a city. When I first visited, we walked around some and I loved that you could do that. You could just walk everywhere because everything was so close together. Also I don't have a driver's license. I grew up in a normal suburban area where it was all houses and then businesses were just far enough apart that you had to drive to get anywhere. There were crosswalks, but they weren't safe. Here, I can use a crosswalk and have complete faith that the cars will stop.

Public transportation!!! Buses are awesome!

I think I have ADHD. I've known it was possible for a while, but it's really starting to make stuff difficult. Spring semester has not gone great. Had to drop one class and I'm honestly expecting a D in another. I need to start looking into a diagnosis.

To go with that, I've changed my major to undecided. I went in as Computer Science bc I took CS courses in HS and I was pretty good, so I figured that would be my thing. It is not. I did those courses for 3 years and every time they'd say we we're going to learn new stuff this year and then we never did. Counting my first semester of uni, I've learned the basics of java 4 times. Then second semester rolled around and I realized I did not want to do this for the rest of my life

Started a studio art minor. First course was art history, which I thought was going to be boring but I ended up enjoying it so much that I'm thinking about making it my new major

Took a course in scifi movies. Probably the best 8am I'll ever take. Would absolutely do again

Archeology course!!! Another strong contender for my new major

Morning courses really aren't too bad when they're a 10 min walk from my dorm

Ugh textbooks expensive

Signed up for summer courses

Laundry is relaxing. It helps that the machines in my building are free

Study rooms are great. Big windows are high on my hierarchy of needs

Dining halls 10/10

I don't like when the buses are crowded so I've started walking everywhere most of the time and it's great

Pretty buildings

Nice trails

Cool crystal shop in the city

I don't recommend getting sick during finals season. Especially in December. Laundry rooms are lovely when you suddenly become cold blooded like a lizard

Wish I'd joined the sailing club. Had fun at the interest meetings but didn't work with my schedule

What I took Fall 23:

Anthropology (tombs)

English

Comp. Sci pt. 1 and lab

What I took Spring 24:

Art History (Renaissance to Present)

Spanish pt. 1

Discrete Mathematics (it is math without numbers) (I miss multivariable calculus) (this is the one I dropped)

Comp. Sci pt. 2 (regret, but it was necessary)

What I'm doing this summer:

American History

Spanish pt. 2

What I'm doing next fall:

Color Theory

Jewelry Making

Astronomy (lab at night!)

Spanish pt. 3

[ishouldreallybeelsewhere]

it's weird that the first Matariki i've ever done anything for is also going to be the last one living at home... i don't know as much about it as i should, because it's never really felt like my culture, even though it is... i need to get more in touch with Māori culture, and i guess more in touch with my place in it

it's always felt very distant, and my parents have always treated my and my brother's Māori heritage as a gateway to scholarships and things, which feels wrong... i just put myself down as nz/european on my uni application which my parents would probably be upset about if they knew...

we went to a few meetings with my iwi a few years ago, but my mum didn't know enough to contribute, and i guess thought they'd be more fun? i don't know... we only went to two meetings then stopped and, for the most part, that's been about it. any time i feel like exploring deeper into the culture, i just think about my parents telling me and my brother to apply for the iwi scholarship, as if we need it.

it's like... those scholarships aren't there just because, they're there to help Māori students who have been disadvantaged cuz of colonisation, not for middle class white kids to get a few grand to help with uni, and applying would be taking opportunities away from people who actually need them

but i don't feel right saying that either, because quantities and percentages don't matter, you can't be more or less Māori, you just are, and you might be a bunch of other things as well, but I feel less Māori because it's always been such a small part of my life, and because I am a middle class white kid...

it's complicated and i feel really conflicted about a lot of it... like i just say i'm english or a bit irish if anyone asks, and since my girlfriend is irish, i've got a direct link, and i'm learning the language (kinda) so it feels a lot closer, even though i'm in Aotearoa and i've literally never been to Ireland...

i guess it's also that, outside of friends from school, the most Te Reo I hear is from my mum, who can't pronounce shit, and everything she says feels so performative, like when she talks about saying a karakia kai for Matariki, she's like 'oh i'll just nick one from work, they've got tons' and it feels like she doesn't care about what the words translate to, or what they represent, just that it looks like she's participating

but then, at the same time, she is Māori, as much as I am, so it is her culture as much as it is mine, but it doesn't feel like it... at all... and i can't exactly talk to her about this, and i feel like a can't talk about it to anyone really, but when i was hanging out with my little cousins, who are the generation after me, they just talked about it so naturally, cuz their school has waiatas (māori songs) and one of them was talking about doing a haka for last year's Matariki celebration, and it's a new thing, a new amazing thing, where more Māori culture is becoming an every day thing, but i feel like i'm already too old, and i go to a stuffy grammar school, where the waiata are changed to be more suitable, removing a lot of the call outs and stuff (my irls know what i'm talking about), not to mention the other cultural problems my school has had...

and we got taught a bit of Te Reo back in primary school, but we were taught by our regular teacher, and Miss Hopkins was great, but she didn't know any more than the kids she was teaching... also we were learning Mandarin and i was already so far behind in that...

back to what this post really started as, we're not really doing anything for Matariki, like, we're not doing any traditional celebrations, we're having dinner... most likely an english roast for that matter

idk

i guess it'll change once i get to uni, probably... I would love to learn Te Reo but at the same time, i don't think i'll stay in this country much past uni so it feels like i'd never even get to speak it... then again, it's not like i'll be speaking much irish gaelic, even if i do end up in ireland...

i just really don't know

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Sorry this is not much of an ask for one of the brothers, but I just wanted to hear your idea. During the MC's stay with brothers, there is usually an implication about how much time has passed. We understand that S1 was a year, but there never really stated the time passed between S1-S2, S2-S3, and then at the beginning of lesson 61 we are told it has been about a few months or so. I guess I am asking how much time do you believe has passed since S1.

Oh okay so I've only ever had a very vague idea of this but I'm gonna try and calculate it now with what little evidence is given in canon but it's gonna be super rough (and I'm gonna be trying to sort it out while I type, so yeah. This will probably be long and unfiltered)

Ik RAD is more of an Uni than a school (they don't all have classes on the same days and Levi has the option to stay at home & attend online classes when he wants), but Uni semesters and vacations are chaotic and all over the place so I'll be following a school schedule- 3 semesters each lasting 3 months, and 3 breaks in between each lasting 1 month. But pls keep in mind that since RAD is an Uni everything will be more flexible

S1 is obviously 1yr

They say a lot of time has passed between S1 & S2 (though considering how codependent they all are, I'm pretty sure it could just be a week and they'd all freak out. Remember Mammon's calling Devilgram? Where he acted like it was the end of the world cause he was gonna be separated from MC for just 3 days...) anyway I personally see the gap between S1 and 2 being about 8 months long (because I imagine them going stir crazy if it was any longer than a year)

Why specifically 8 months? Well:

During S2 they're still an exchange student but not for a whole year. When they arrive in S2 the play, festival, school dance & final exams are already being planned. All of these things usually happen at the end of the school year. They missed the first two semesters of RAD in those 8 months and spend the next three months and the holidays (say a month) in the Devildom. So S2 is 4 months.

At the end of S2 Lucifer tells MC he won't let them stay apart for long and he tells his brothers to immediately start arranging their rooms and getting ready to leave. Since Lucifer was still mad at Diavolo at this time and was willing to help the brothers & MC run away it's safe to say he was still being somewhat irrational and was planning to run away after MC.

But in S3 we see he has instead made friends with Diavolo again, gotten permission to come to the human world and gotten a proper house there, and that Barbatos is connecting the bedrooms of the two houses together AND they came while RAD was having a break. So cause they went through the legal path chances are it took some time to get there. Since they waited for a break the gap between S2 & S3 is a school semester long. So the the gap between S2 to S3 will be 3 months.

Except given how eager they all were to leave immediately I don't think it'd be that far fetched that they all moved their classes around as much as possible and jam packed them to give themselves a bigger break (let's say given their status they could schedule their own exams too and Diavolo in a bid to make Lucifer forgive him completely supports this). Say it takes them 2 months and 2 weeks to arrive in the human world and (according to what's said) 2 weeks to meet up with MC. So again, in the end the gap between S2 and S3 is 3 months.

Since S3 happens during a break it should be 1 month. And they can't squish their next term schedule and make more time either since Diavolo says they have something important happening at RAD (making preparations for new exchange students?). So S3 is only 1 month.

S4 starts with the new exchange students arriving, meaning it's a new school year. Since the gap between S2 & 3 was also the first semester of a new school year and S3 was the first vacation of that school year, that year must have passed during the time between S3 and S4, for a new year to be beginning. So the gap between S3 and S4 is 8 months

Personally I wanted the gap between S3 & 4 to be much smaller than roughly 8 months, but at the same time it'd make sense that it took a while for MC to master a spell as complicated as teleportation, as well as for the new exchange program to be properly set up

S1 -> 12 months

S1 - S2 -> 8 months

S2 -> 4 months

S2 - S3 -> 3 months

S3 -> 1 month

S3 - S4 -> 8 months

So altogether they've known each other for 3 yrs

Or at least those are my thoughts

Edit:

*slowly sweeps canon under a rug while whistling *

....Let's just say Solomon is so old he constantly fucks up how long things have been.... I mean he doesn't know his own age so it's a possibility right...? I constantly forget how far into the week/month/year we are and I haven't been around for thousands of years....so yeah..... that's what we're going with guys🥲✌🏼👏🏼

[deliverydefresas]

moving step by step (together)

second and last thing i posted on wp that i haven't posted here ((i think)) feel free to ignore if you've read this on wattpad already, as i'm just posting it in case i need to refer to it later.

(not proofread. it never is)

prompt(?): domestic!simbar deciding to move in together (toanothercountry)

When her day began, she didn't imagine it'd end up the way it did. In fact, to Ámbar the day felt like an endless nightmare.

Between her washing machine breaking, one of her kitchen cloths accidentally catching on fire when she was making her breakfast, her car not starting and thus being late to her first class, forgetting an important paper at home and losing 1/5 of her grade for one of the toughest classes in her semester; Ámbar just wanted to call it a day and forget she even had to endure it.

"The professor told me he'd let me turn it the paper, as long as I added 10,000 words more; and hear this: he won't give me the 20% of the grade, but a 15%, tops." She still needed to get her laundry done, so she'd opted to come by Simón's loft (and Nico and Pedro's too) when her classes had ended. While she waited for it to be done, she'd grabbed a glass of wine while venting her boyfriend's ears off. "So now I need to find something to write about that's worth 1000 words of coherency, otherwise I'll be lucky to even have a 10%. And God knows I need it."

Simón kissed her head sympathetically, adjusting her head - previously leaning on his shoulder- a little bit closer to his neck. "You will, little gem. You're the smartest one in your class, I'm sure you'll find something and, it's penultimate semester, you can do it."

She groaned, "I wish it were as easy as that." He kissed her cheek this time, and she snuggled into him a bit more, needing his support to make her feel less stressed. "Enough of me, how was your day?"

He chuckled, "not as interesting as yours, I'm afraid. Did a little songwriting, had a video-call with a magazine, changed my sheets..." he winked at her, making her laugh.

"Aw, do you want me to give you a gold start? Maybe I should call your mom, tell her her little boy is a nice young man who makes his own bed." Simón leaned in to bite her cheek, causing her to and almost spill her wine all over the couch, and to prevent this, the red liquid ended up on her shirt. Technically, it was one of his, since today's clothes had been thrown in the washer with the rest of the laundry, but still, spilling wine on her clothes wasn't nice. "Simón!" she scoffed him, which only made him laugh at her. He told her to grab another of his old shirts, while he refilled her glass.

She stood up then, cursing him all the way to his room to grab one of the 'pajama' shirts he kept in his top drawer. Ámbar heard him call to her once she had put it on; "hey, is tacos okay with you for dinner? Or do you want me to order you something else?"

"What are the guys having?" she questioned, to prepare herself in case the others ordered less than what their stomachs wanted to eat, and later lead them to steal her food.

"Pedro's staying at Delfi's and Nico is out with his fling, so nothing." Simón answered her, entering his room with his cellphone at hand.

"Then the usual." She told him simply, her boyfriend nodded. "Hey, can I use your laptop to check my e-mail? My phone died."

Simón nodded again. "Sure. Hello? I would like to order two pastor gringas..." he left the room again, not before pointing at his desk, where his laptop was sitting on. She quickly turned it on, taking it to the living room to wait for Simón to finish the call.

Her boyfriend was one of those people who didn't put a password on the device itself, but on the archives in it (which were mostly lyrics, tracks, and unreleased songs), so it didn't take long until she had the browser opened.

Ámbar tried to ignore whatever Simón had open in his last tab, but the images displayed caught her attention.

No, it wasn't porn, nor was it anything compromising. At least not in that way.

Her boyfriend had a Real Estate website open, showing apartments in sale. However, that wasn't what surprised her – he'd talked about finding his own place before-, but that all the options listed Mexico City as their location.

He'd never mentioned moving back to Mexico. They'd planned vacations to his hometown Cancún, sure, but somehow in all their talks about the future she'd had assumed their plans took place in Buenos Aires, close to her family instead of his. She could deal with him going on tour for weeks – she didn't bear months as well as she did weeks, and for this he always flew her in- but to live in two different countries? How was their relationship supposed to work in that scenario? Would it even work out? Sure, she was almost over with her degree, but-

"Little gem," her eyes snapped from the screen to where Simón was standing, by the kitchen's door, "I ordered you an almond horchata, is that okay?" she kept staring at him. "What? Is my laptop giving you problems? Your mail?"

She sighed. "No, I actually haven't opened my mail yet." He gave her a confused look.

"Then what's it? You've been staring at the screen for at least two minutes."

"When were you planning on telling me you're moving to Mexico?"

His mouth shut, his eyes showed surprise and an underlying regret. "Uh... soon?"

"So it's true, then? You're moving there?" Ámbar didn't want her voice to sound as hurt as it did, but she couldn't conceal it, either. After all, this was her boyfriend, the guy she was in love with, and who she'd loved for years now... to imagine him living so far away from her, it hurt her deeply.

To find out like this, instead of from his own mouth, was like salt to the wound. Her already shitty day was turning for the worse.

Simón sighed, his demeanor showing he was ashamed of it. "It's an option." He pursed his lips slightly, walking over to the couch, taking the device off her lap to turn her body towards him. "I was planning on talking to you about this sooner than later, I promise."

"When? When you had already bought it? Or when I had to say goodbye at the airport?" she couldn't help but dab at him, her temper was talking for her right then, "and what do you mean with 'it's an option'? You're looking for a place already, surely it's more than simple 'option'."

Simón let out a sigh, a sign he wasn't sure how to explain it to her, "I- have you noticed how most of our label meetings have been taking place in México?" She nodded, it was hard not to. The boys and him didn't really leave the city unless they absolutely had to, which could be summed up in three reasons: touring, vacations, and meetings. She'd always frown a little when those meetings took place, because she couldn't really understand why they had to leave when their label had offices in BsAs, but never really dared to ask Simón, afraid she'd come out as clingy for not wanting him to leave her for a couple days.

"I just assumed all the 'important' people chose to meet there instead of flying down here."

He scratched his nape. "It's a little bigger than that. Their HQ has always been up there, and their offices here have worked on a smaller scale for years; however, they've wanted all their more... 'recognizable' artists to be closer for a while now."

"So, they're making you move there?"

"Yes and no. They've been nagging us since the beginning to move to Mexico City, but it's only now we've – well, I've- considered it as an option."

"Why? Don't Pedro and Nico want, too?"

Simón grimaced. "They've already been considering it for a couple of years." Oh. Now that she thought about it, Delfina had hinted multiple times over the months 'the possibility' of working in another country. She'd always assumed she meant taking international jobs for a short period while Pedro was out on tour too, but now she guessed she'd meant for her to imagine that possibility, too.

It seemed like she'd assumed lots of things, and it stung to know she'd been in the dark far longer than everyone else. Even Delfi – who'd been dating Pedro a considerably less time than she'd been with Simón- knew of this before her.

Which made her ask him once again. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because you're still in uni, little gem, and I didn't want to move somewhere else while you were here; I still don't. I had a plan, honestly; I was going to wait until you neared graduation to slowly get you used to the idea, and, well, I also wanted to wait in case we didn't work out." She pursed her lips as she was still mad, but knew he had a point. He always did.

"You could've talked to me sooner, though. We could've planned this way sooner, make it easier for both." Ámbar sighed out, trying to get her anger out with it.

"I know, I get it now, and I'm very sorry." He apologized sincerely, grabbing one of her hands to kiss it. "This in no way is me telling you I'm moving tomorrow and leaving you here, little gem, I'd never do that. Hell, I don't even think I could. It's just..."

"An option." She finished for him, sighing again. "I guess I- I don't know, maybe I could start looking at internships in CDMX? When- when would this take place anyway? And I have to talk to my mo-" her eyes widened, "God, my mom! What do I tell her if we go? She'll be all alone here!" Her voice sounded panicky even to her.

"Hey, it's okay, there's no hurry. We've already postponed this for years with the boys, another year or so won't change anything, in fact, we'll need all we can get to get papers and stuff in check. And your mom can always come with us if you're worried about her, no biggie." He told her, as if the three of them moving countries wasn't a big deal, or, y'know, extremely expensive.

"Do you seriously want my mom living with us, Simón?" she snapped at him, and immediately felt bad to do so. He was just trying to help her and then here she was, bitching on his offers. "Sorry, sorry. I'm just... overwhelmed, sorry." He shrugged it off.

"I was actually thinking of you two getting your own apartment but since you're oh so kindly offering to live together..." Her eyes widened once more, shocked. She hadn't realized she'd implied that. "... I guess we can either buy or rent one for ourselves and rent another for your mom."

"That's not what- I mean it's not necessary. An apartment for my mom and I would be okay if she even agrees to move."

Her boyfriend started pouting. "Are you saying you don't want to move in with me?"

"No, no, that's not what I mean-" she stopped talking once she saw a teasing grin on his face. "You're messing with me."

He shook his head, silently laughing as he reached out to sit her on his lap, hugging her waist tightly. "I'm not. I'm actually happy you asked me to move with you, so I don't have to when the time comes."

"I didn't ask you." She felt the need to point it out. "You just assumed I did."

"Because you assumed we'd live together. It's okay; if it were up to me I'd be living with you in a heartbeat, I've thought about it for a while."

She gulped. "You have?"

"Yeah, but since I'm living with two dudes and you're living with your mom... it just isn't viable." That got her thinking.

"Why haven't you gotten your own apartment yet? Any of you?"

Simón shrugged, leaning into their coffee table to grab their glasses. "Rent is cheaper when you divide into three, and all of us have been saving up to get our own pads for when we moved to CDMX."

"It was never a matter of 'if', was it? It was always a 'when' you moved." She already knew the answer, of course, so she didn't wait for him to answer. "What took you so long to do so? I'm sure you could've done so years ago, and now you're waiting for Delfi and I, I guess, but before? What held you back?"

He pondered it for a minute, didn't speak immediately. "Something always came up. At first, we didn't have enough money saved, then Nico's mom had an accident, Pedro wanting to stay until his little sister finished high school... then you. My guess is the universe was waiting for us to meet to let me leave the city." She couldn't help but laugh at this.

"You're such a corny guy."

"Only for you, little gem, only for you." Ámbar took a sip of her wine before snuggling closer to his chest, earning her a kiss on her hair. "So, are we doing this?"

She pushed the anxiety of the unknown to the back of her mind, she knew that if she overthought about it she'd find reasons not to. Instead, she took a deep breath, intoxicating herself with the smell of soap and lotion that lingered on her boyfriend all the time.

"Yeah," she sighed, "but we're doing this together."

"Together," he repeated, giving her hand another kiss. "I like the sound of that."

[punkscowardschampions]

Gen 4.1 Planning

Libi: Okay, so my basic premise for who Libi is going to be at her core, WOO; I was thinking about how we said that she is Tess' second (lowkey third but I'll let you live gal) chance at 'getting it right' and raising a child well, which, OBVIOUSLY, she's never told or anything but there's an innate pressure in that that you'd know on some level, likewise her mum AND dad died so everyone would be quick with those comparisons always, this family and Liam's mum when that contact is made because her daughter died as well as; Then that made me think of the pressure Ro felt because you know, bad shit happened to Bea (Edie and Liam in this case) and then she got saved by McVickers and felt like she owed everyone to be great and do great things; so my vibe is that BUT COMING FROM A LESS SELFISH, WEIRD, PERFECTIONISM ANGLE soz not soz Ro, we know what you did; I see her being better behaved as she grows up, far more than her parents obviously but lowkey better behaved than any of the mcvickers or cali kids ever were because she thinks everyone deserves that, her not causing any more problems, but again UNLIKE Ro, she wouldn't be different to a degree of not fitting in because she'd make a massive effort to be there for everyone and every event, be likeable and get along with as much of the fam as possible, obviously some of that is natural charm but it's also putting in the time ahem Rosaline; like, she's a people pleaser, to a fault, and all she cares about is making everyone else, Tess, Fearghal, Ali, JJ etc etc, happy and making sure she's being what she thinks they want her to be/need her to be, and like that is what makes her happy because she is doing it out of love and respect not obligation but she doesn't know she's doing it, you know? Again, it's innate, how she is, but that's where the arc can come in, in realising that she goes with what makes everyone else happy, is who they need, but what does SHE want herself, and what does SHE need? A way I thought we could make this a Bobby/Libi storyline if we wanted (but we do not have to) is if she does have feelings for him, could be any point on his timeline gfs and kids wise whatever, but she lets him go and have whatever gf or do whatever thing because she's like that's what he wants he doesn't like me or want me like that etc, because she doesn't let herself want things selfishly or do anything just for herself Bobby: we should totally have them be together as little bubs because they are and it's like a running joke that they are gonna get together/get married like we've lowkey already said but more so but maybe the vibe is he is really shy how he is and lowkey it's like a my sister and me vibe where she does all the talking and socialising for him and like all their friends are joint friends Bobby: not in a creepy Ro and Ali way but Bobby: and we will let you outgrow that sir Libi: it makes sense because obviously we're learning sign language so simply Bobby can't communicate with most kids by himself, that's facts, and it's easier to have another kid help you than Jimmy always being there, or whoever he has helping him at school, you know Bobby: oh snap maybe I flip reverse what I said and Cammie's mum is the deaf one too and the vibe could be that like Libi pushes him to get some deaf friends as they become like tweens/teens so he can communicate himself so he does and does become more outgrowing that way but maybe he lowkey leans too hard into deaf culture for a while there and she feels like pushed out by it because it's something she can't be a part of Libi: ooh yeah, that makes a lot of sense Bobby: it adds something to Cammie's character as well being hearing but having two deaf parents so that's interesting Bobby: and also makes sense why JJ have to help them so much as well as them just being young Libi: right, there's a lot of shit Cammie would have to do from a young age if not for JJ lowkey 'cos it's just easier for a hearing kid than it is a deaf adult in this world Libi: her mum could maybe be more partial for ease but yes Bobby: and like it makes sense that Libi would push her feelings aside when those two grow closer/happen because she'd be like well they're both deaf that's something I can't give him and something I want him to have Libi: exactly, it'd feel really selfish to wreck that even if you didn't have all the ingrained shit she does around it Bobby: and obviously he actually wants to be with her as well but thinks she doesn't want that and before you now it there's baby Cammie so it's like well now I gotta try and make this work because don't wanna be a shit father like I had Libi: oh the drama of it all Libi: love it Libi: and we've not really got (that I can think of) a never mind I'll find someone like you type deal Libi: because usually it's like JUST SAY IT but it actually makes sense here to pine and long but let him go Libi: hence I'm here for it Libi: So, what I'm thinking right now is, that they're like never officially together, like it just keeps being an in-joke kinda vibe and like we're JUST best friends and then kind of like family, but obviously as they get into tween/teen years it's beyond a stage you can pretend you're just a kid playing at being girlfriend and boyfriend and as you said boo, that will coincide with JJ wedding and kids roughly so then it'd be more obvious like it's not going to happen seriously, then she can encourage him to get deaf friends etc, but I feel like he should only meet Cammie's mum just before or at uni (or whatever equivalent he's doing after school) so then it is quick and not like they were even mates before so it's less of a shock for all, you know? Bobby: I totally agree because I strongly pictured him being best man at the JJ wedding (soz Pete) and her being one of the bridesmaids and all the bants that go along with that and them both being SO 😳 Bobby: and yeah he could live the cliché that Jac was mocking and literally get with this girl freshers week I'd believe it Libi: Right? it then mirrors the Jameson/Cammie thing except they literally are just BFFs and there isn't anything going on Libi: there's actually weight to this but we're just like haha no don't be silly Bobby: and we've literally not done that trope with childhood boy girl best friends before really because baze are probably the closest but they were always so clearly in love and refusing to fight it so it's fun Libi: exactly, because unknowingly or otherwise, we're fighting against all the cliches and tropes that come with this family Libi: like I'm going to not do any of those things that caused drama for everyone and this is clearly too close to home, even though I don't think anyone would actually be that bothered, we've just really internalized and gone with it Bobby: like how nobody cares Jac is gay except Jac herself Libi: right Libi: but obviously she's good at keeping this all internal because no one can or is gonna clock it and be like, babe, it's okay Libi: like JJ might be a bit like oop, keeping it in the family but as long as you're both happy they really don't care, and same for mcvickers even if Tess is suspish of everyone that comes into any gal's life 'cos trauma lol Bobby: Bobby wasn't trying to make deaf culture happen for himself but Libi would have been so excited for him to get out there and do it that he would've been excited too and then it is literally like a new world opening up because who has he ever interacted with that's deaf before Bobby: didn't mean to lowkey leave you behind gal but Libi: it's kinda her own fault, not to blame you but clearly literally what we do like okay he's happy now mission accomplished Bobby: and maybe Cammie's mum is like the deaf equivalent of those gays who make it their whole identity so she's really selling it and so he also thinks okay this is who I should be with Libi: we know the vibe, like it's more excusable but still, I get you Libi: I see it Libi: a bit of a baby gay equivalent like go too hard and you're like I need to calm this down Libi: UNRELATED BUT Libi: think it will please you Libi: Jay is born 32 like Bobby, I'm pretty sure, and I thought Libi and her would also make for interesting content because Jay obviously feels she owes a lot to the fam for not being stuck with Chloe etc etc and the very little we did with her gave off a similar energy to me Libi: and she has her commitment issues in relationships because of her mum situation so they can bond over the shit that holds 'em back even though it's different stuff Bobby: and her relationship with Ava being her mum but also not being is something I feel like Libi can relate to because of how she was raised and the Rio and Buster-ness of it all because they wanted to raise her and obvs they wanted to raise Jay for a while there too Bobby: plus all the travelling she does is something that Libi could potentially join her in doing if she needs an escape so that's nice Libi: 100% it makes for a strong friendship there's a lot of parallels if not total similarities Libi: it makes a lot of sense, it's coming together baby Bobby: if you need to get away from seeing Bobby literally playing happy families, I can offer you that gal because I'm gonna have her go to uni/live in new york probably now that Nancy isn't because her face actually did live there idk if they still do or what but Bobby: we know the vibe is that she goes everywhere and can't settle so you'll have lots of chances to run away in a way that won't upset anyone Bobby: and when she gets her man and it works out we could totally coincide that because she can be like if I can do it so can you Libi: a mood a moment Bobby: all I know is Bobby is gonna be more chatty because neither Jimothy or Jesse are so I must but not to Jude levels of !!! Libi: a nice middleground Libi: which is kind of what I see for her honestly Libi: less in your face than 1. we were as a little bub 2. a lot of the fam but still sociable enough that it jives well with most of 'em Bobby: I'm so happy about all of this and honestly Cammie's mum being deaf makes so much sense in terms of what we were already thinking about her being more distant and working a lot Libi: if she doesn't give up the fight, she could be some kind of advocate vibe Libi: 'cos then Cammie can't even call her out really Libi: like soz this is important, maam your child Bobby: exactly what I was thinking we're in sync rn boo Libi: because it all makes sense, you gotta follow one thread and then the story shows itself tbh Libi: because tying in Astrid too, obviously that makes sense because she loses her mum too, and she'd ultimately be a really good influence because after Ro dies Astrid is kind of freed to do whatever she wants for herself Libi: and how much happier it makes her, how much she improves...well Libi: sips tea Bobby: I LOVE THIS Libi: and who else is taking the autistic girl that seriously and letting her teach you things Libi: love that for you Libi: she's living her best life and we can see that Bobby: she can be in their friend group, I'm happy Libi: ALSO, I feel as if she couldn't lie to Astrid Libi: because she says how she sees it bluntly and we're not going to feel comfortable fobbing her off because of that insistence, so that'll be good for you even when we're hiding it from everyone else Libi: everyone else you've just got to be vaguely like oh no no and it's dropped and like okay Bobby: we're gonna get to show so many different sides of Libi, I'm always here for that Bobby: and however far we go down the Astrid and her gf eating disorder rabbit hole, we''ll have Libi not treating her like a kid which is great Libi: yeah, there's loads we can do with the end of gen 4 for them all it's a mood Bobby: okay so what or who would you like to throw Libi at first Libi: that is the question Bobby: just so we know Bobby is going to Trinity and studying Business, Economics and Social Studies (B.E.S.S.) which is business, economics, political science and sociology basically so he can end up working at that advertising place with Jimothy after he has done this 4 years Bobby: Cammie's mum is there doing deaf studies which is also 4 years Libi: do we wanna do a rough timeline for these people mentioned here Libi: Jay born 32, we find out about her when she's 7 in 39 Libi: Bobby is born 32 and comes into the story 38 Libi: Libi is born 34, Edam die 35, we know this situation, is 4 soon to be 5 when she meets Bobby vias JJ Libi: Astrid is born 35 and Ro dies in 44 when Astrid is 9 Libi: JJ can get married 46, so Libi is 12 and Bobby is 14 Libi: doesn't have to be when we intro the deaf friends to the point of exclusion obvs but it's timed so we never have the 'real' relationship chat of it all obvs Libi: so Bobby would go to uni in 50-51 and Camie is born 51 start of 2nd year Libi: that gives us this good 4 year period before uni to play with, then obviously we know the vibe of when she's born and making that work etc Libi: Hmm, I think it would make the most sense to do a gap year then stay local, like that's the ideal Libi: because I really think she'd struggle being away from the fam Libi: but I'm kinda thinking maybe to be cruel she DOES go away because it seems like something the fam are like yay about Libi: 'cos she'd try really, really hard to stay but they should at least notice that and she can transfer for a reprieve Bobby: that's really nice actually Libi: she should do her first year in Liverpool, the rest at Trinity Libi: okay, so film studies, it was only 3 years in Liverpool but we're changing to trinity and you do years 1 and 2 (aka whilst Bobby is still there at least for year 1 but I need to check anyway) there and years 3 and 4 at Columbia uni in new york, aka where Jay is Libi: **remind me to check the times but we need to give him a solid bday and I'm changing hers up too Libi: this is just roughly Libi: but this way we can be cruel with it lol

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

To Do List:

What's up, my Herd of Nerds?

Anyway, as you can tell, tomorrow is AU Sunday. But, because it's one after a 'my input' one, it's a follower input AU day! Yay!

So, send me your AUs and I'll put all of em in a hat to pick one randomly. The winner is picked and posted and we'll all try and make headcanons about your AU.

Done:

Zombie Apocalypse AU :: (https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618314308275863552/zombie-apocalypse-au-masterpost)

Pirate AU ::

Currently In The Raffle:

-Toy Story AU.

-Ever After High/Descendants/Vaguely 'nex gen priness' AU.

-Eldritch Horror AU :: Or if that's a bit too out there, a more normal Monster AU. I don't care, but in my heart, I know Cleo is some kind of eldritch horror. Zombie is far too easy.

-Eldritch Monster AU! Hermits are all Lovecraftian horrors who all individually decided that they wanted to pretend to be normal and are all trying to hide their otherworldliness. I also feel like Mumbo or X or someone as the one actually "normal" player on the server would work well. Most hermits don't know that everyone else isn't normal either, but some find out about friends maybe.

-Rabid Debate Club AU :: Random weird au idea where it's basic hs/uni au but like two of them try to start a debate club, then invite some friends just so there's enough people; cut to like two months later, it's all the hermits just fighting over whether or not pineapple should go on pizza or not lol it isn't very good i'm sorry but ya know rabid debate club AU.

-Animal/shapeshifting AU :: (Suggested Twice.) Every hermit can shapeshift into one token animal. (If it's something like "dog," they can only turn into one breed and color of dog, EXAMPLE: doc can shift into a black sable belgian malinois, but not anything else.)

-Wedding Planners AU :: Hermits work in various unrelated businesses such as a bakery, flower shop, etc., but see each other semi-often bc they're semi-often called upon to work together by another hermit's wedding planning business (obvs if you couldn't tell i know absolutely nothing abt wedding planning & businesses n shit lol but it's the /concept/ of it yannknow)

-Avatar: The Last Air Bender AU. (Suggested Thrice.)

-Fusion AU :: (Also suggested by Anon.) (Suggested Twice.) What if Hermits could fuse with each other? (Viva and Jumbo fused into MumboJumbo.)

-SCP AU :: The hermits have spooky powers and are kept locked up bc of it (or they have to keep the world safe from monsters and cursed objects!)

-RPG AU :: I feel like someone already thought of that but I am just wondering about it lately :p -🍋

-Adventure Time AU :: The hermits live in a post-apocalyptic world and the Lich (bad guy) is making everything decay. They need to gather all the gems (belt colours) to unlock the Enchiridion (a book) and have one wish each granted from Prismo (multiverse wish granting dude) before the Lich does. Only 4 elements can enter the multiverse: Slime (The Lich & Jevin), Redstone (Tango or Mumbo?), Ice (Stress), and Dirt (Grian, much to his dismay). Only the elementals can see the book. Grian's the protagonist with his sidekick Scar. He originally started collecting the belts because they were shiny but eventually decided to read the book and find out what they were for when Scar said he didn't see it. Doc, False, and Iskall are major obstacles because they don't believe the book exists.</p>

-Total Drama Island AU.

-Magical Girl AU :: Zedaph's the lead magical girl and rounds up a bunch of other magical girl hermits.

-Pokeman AU :: What are the Hermit's roles in this world? Who's the Champion, Elite Four. Are they scientists? Trainers? Do they compete in competitions, do they specialize in types? Who's everyone's starter? Has anyone encountered any legendaries?

-College AU

-High School AU

-Wizard101 AU :: I (🦊) recently got this AU idea and recently started going off somewhere with it in terms of writing, but, like, Hermitcraft meets Wizard101. Tons and tons of magical shenanigans, monster hunting, and idk what else.

-Magic AU

-My Hero Academia AU :: Headcanons can be about which hermits would have what quirks and occupations based on them.

-So I'm writing an AU where there's a second game of Demise but 5 years later. So far the first 2 hermits (Joe and Xisuma) have died, and their dead forms are cracked with an arrow in his chest (Xisuma) and cyborg (Joe). So since it's Saturday, I'm looking for what some skins would look for.

-City AU :: I mean this is really just a normal everyday AU.

-School AU.

-Terraria-Minecraft Fusion AU :: Who chooses what class? what events do each hermit prefer? how to they deal with the world infections? preferred biomes? Favourite NPCS? It has potentiallllll.

-70s/80s Teen Horror AU :: (like Stranger Things, Carreie, The Lost Boys, Halloween, etc.) -🦇

-Demi-God AU :: Sort of like percy jackson (everyone being the children of different gods from all different cultures.)

-Supernatural AU

-Marching Band AU :: Xisuma is the band major and all the show music is the remixes. I need to come up with some ideas for uniforms. Outfits and flags for the colorguard too.

-Different Eras AU :: (Suggested Twice.) All the hermits are from different time periods or eras. Like Wels is from the mediveal/dark era, Mumbo is from 1890-1920's, Iskall is from 2030, TFC is from 2020(?), Cleo is from 2130, etc!!! Like the mobs/animals became feused with humans, is when the mob players came from.

-Star Trek AU :: Like maybe they could be on one ship and each have different roles like engineers or doctors? I don’t know if this has been suggested but hope you enjoy! - 🐦

-House Mates AU :: ApartmentAU but scaled down?

-Atlantis AU :: (Could be merged with Mermaid AU???)

-Fighting Game AU :: Some influences would be Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, and Ultra Instinct, that kind of stuff.

-Time loop AU :: The hermits each have to deal with their own time loop.

(All those above in red are from our community's lovely Anons!)

-Superhero/superpower AU :: They each have a unique power/powerset that is in some way connected to their personality. (ie Mumbo *could* control electricity because of his love of redstone) Some Hermits may even choose to be "villains" and prank their other servermates. If you need power ideas, I've got a couple. (12u3ie)

-Daycare AU :: The recap peeps are the caretakers :P (-@tikauniverse.)

-Incredibly Long Cross Country Train Ride AU :: they all are in the same train car, telling stories of where they’re going, backstories.)

-Stuck In An Airport AU :: pretty similar to train au but they can be going diff places.

-Doctors AU :: they’re all doctors working at the same hospital.)

-Circus AU (Also suggested by an Anon.) (Suggested Twice.)

-Spy AU (Also suggested by @shadeswiftdraws.) (Suggested Twice.)

-Runaways AU :: The hermits are all teenagers who have run away from home, they all live on the streets until TFC takes them in. Head canons can be about backstories, living on the streets, or when they’re with TFC.

-Criminals and Police Officers AU

(-@lookitsspacekween)

-Dancer AU :: I mean, I already got a list kind of planned out, but headcanons for why specific styles are chosen would be appreciated! :) (usedtobelucythefallenangel)

-Broadway/Musicals Hermits AU :: The hermits are all casts of various musicals and when this newly-built theater opens up they all fight for which musical gets to play in it first (they have a riff-off maybe?) musicals mainly included are Hamilton, BMC, DEH, SiX, Beetlejuice, etc (feel free to add more!) (-@heyitsroby.)

-DnD AU (Also suggested by Anon.) (Suggested twice.)

-Mermaid AU :: In honor of the end of Mermay

-Space exploration AU :: There could be different ships, command centers, aliens.... Maybe someone could even get stranded/crash on a new planet? Who knows, could be fun.

-Paranormal/ghost hunter AU :: A couple Hermits could be the ghost hunters going to haunted locations to prove/disprove their hauntedness, others could be camera crew, owners of haunted buildings, or even the ghosts themselves.

-Camping/Vacation AU.

-Summer Cottage AU :: They all spend summers/weekends along the same shoreline and do different summer activities together. Outdoor fun and shenanigans!

-Space AU :: like star trek or similar.

-I would say evil clone au but I think that's pretty much the entire Hermitcraft tumblr right now lol. (Suggested twice.)

(-@shadeswiftdraws.)

-Magic AU :: Magic exists and all the hermits have powers. They can also summon a weapon but what that weapon is depends on the hermit. I'm thinking it'll take place in a sort-of Demise 2 in S7 with a big war. So far I've got: Grian - Cloning himself to his different personas (each has a different power). Xisuma - Making barriers, teleporting, and transforming into different mobs. Scar - Making mutant plants & boosting other hermits' attack & health. (-@datsaltyperson.)

-Demon AU :: Something enters the overworld and turns into a supernatural style-demon through Dimentional Distortion. Who gets posessed first, who goes crazy, and who actually kills it? Honestly I think that, if anything, Tango would know how to gank it, for obvious reasons. (-@fireflower-dusk.)

-High Street AU :: Everyone owns a different shop on the same street or some run a shop together (-@violets-arepurple.)

-Cat AU :: Either they're were always cats, or Hels turned everyone, including himself, into a cat, and they have to survive and overcome challenges in the Season 7 world. An example of a challenge would be Cub's a Sand Cat(the cats that always look like kittens no matter how old they are and live in deserts), and everyone's not sure if he can actually swim, so they have to find a way for him to get around without involving water. (-@scp10000.)

-How about a secret AU.. Every hermit has their big secrets and when Grian joined. He doesn't really know anything about those secrets even till season 7. Not many hermits talked to him in S6 anyway.. Mumbo was the closest to him so they would have regular chats For Iskall is mostly business related things Grian wants to know why so he set out on a quest to force the others to at least talk to him so he wouldn't be lonely. (-@babylightstudentbiscuit.)

-Hermit Family AU :: Xisuma is very busy dad but when he isnt busy the kids and younger hermits annoying the hell out of him. Grian once asked to use Xisuma's computer and crashed the whole thing trying to download illegal gamesites and get money off the internet. Mumbo and his trains run through the entire house and Xisuma trips on them daily. (-@gamerutx.)

-College AU!! But they are not students. THEY ARE THE TEACHERS (-@ivi-prism.)

Ones I planned to do anyway but Hermitblr Hivemind and all that:

Battle of The Bands AU: i believe u once mentioned a bands/ battle of the bands au... thats my jam... (Anon.)

[rosalesbeausderholle]

I really feel like I've missed so much, and it was all thanks to my self isolation during my teen years. And like, I know other people who feel like this too, but they managed to pull through. I got stuck.

My friend was like me when we were both in high school (dif towns) but by the end of her last year she managed to find a big reliable group of friends within her town who she's still friends with today, and they're always doing stuff together. I never managed to have that. I was too depressed and too scared from the bullying that I refused to make connections in either of our towns. Not that's I'd know how to start either.

And I thought I would get better at it at college, and I sorta did, I did get a big good group of friends but they're all, well, nerds like me, which isn't bad, but they all live far away and they all don't like going out to like parties and shit that much? And in summer we see each other like maybe 4 times?

Still, because of them, I thought I got past the mental block I had with people, but I didn't! studying abroad this year was hell in this regard, I met lots of awesome people but I never managed to open up and to connect like on a deeper level, I had the opportunity to do all the normal things, the parties and the trips and the spending time together every day. And I did some of it, but I'm still so introverted that I still need my alone time so I didn't manage to always hang out, which led to me being more like an accessory to the groups than a true part of it. I couldn't be with them always and I didn't manage to open up. They all just barely know me, I didn't even got to tell them about lots of things that are just who I am. There was just this big concrete block between me and other people and I wasn't able to get past it.

This was the chance, my chance to go and have a group of friends that actually LIVE near me, who I can just show up to their dorm rooms and just talk and just do stuff together always and have the dream crazy university life and I just... I blew it! I didn't even get a quarter to where I wanted to get, I barely managed to not simply isolate myself the whole year. Because I'm a mess, a total anxiety wreck.

In my home town/near, I only have 3 friends and they're not even friends with each other, they all have their own different groups within the town and I hang out with all of them but I can't do that always. They're very good friends. Same with my uni friends, I love all of them, but I don't hang out with them enough because we don't get enough times when all of or even most of them don't have something else going on.

(Same applies to internet friends for obvious reasons)

And I need more, more human connection. But I'm always the afterthought. And I'll always will be and it's my own fault for being so unapproachable, so anxious, so weird. And I'm 22, and I missed the best part of my teen years and now of my young adulthood too, what do I even have left?

[butwhyduh]

Snow

Peter Parker x Stark!reader

Warning: language, angst, and danger. Mentions blood but no details.

Word count: 1958

Summary: Doc Ock ruins your date with Peter Parker and Spider-Man has to save the day. Part 1 of 2 or 3. For @petersshirts challenge.

You rushed through the courtyard and down the street. Snow lightly clung to your hair as wind whipped around you. You held your hand to your mouth to cover your poor frozen nose. You were running late.

You saw him before he saw you. He stood under a canopy. His puffy coat was pulled tight and you could see his red ears peaking from the end of his blue beanie. Peter was looking wistfully at the nice warm cafe across the street.

You hustled to him as fast as your cold legs could carry you. Peter looked up before you could surprise him and he smiled widely. He grabbed your arm and pulled you into the safety of the cafe. He always looked at you so softly.

Peter brushed the snow from your hair before removing his beanie. He slung his head around and snow flung off everywhere. You giggled as an older man gave you both a look.

"Sorry," Peter said smiling. "Do you want to order something to eat? I'm pretty hungry."

"Peter Parker, you are always hungry," you said walking to a small table in the corner by the window. Snow piled up on the outside of the window sill.

A small overworked waitress came to take your order. Peter ordered a hot chocolate and a burger. You got a coffee. You pulled your gloves and coat off and looked around. A football game played on a small tv by the register. Holiday music played in the background.

"Were you waiting long," you asked Peter.

"No, It wasn't that long. I like the snow anyways," Peter said smiling. He was lying. He was frozen to the core. You grabbed his bare hand with your own. His hand was freezing.

"Let's meet in the cafe next time. I feel bad that you are frozen," you said rubbing his frozen hand in your warm hands. Peter smiled. He bent and kissed your hand. His face was beginning to flush as he slowly warmed up.

The waitress brought your drinks and his food. Peter offered you some fries as he devoured the burger. You barely picked at his fries knowing he could eat everything and more. Ever since he became Spider-Man, Peter was constantly hungry.

Peter excitedly talked about his project in biochemistry. You listened without really understanding. You had met when Peter tutored you in freshman biology in uni.

"Pete, I hate to interrupt but you have hot chocolate there," you pointed. Peter swiped completely around it. "No there," you pointed again. He wiped to the side of it. Finally you grabbed a napkin and wiped it for him.

"Uh..huh thanks," Peter said scratching the back of his neck. He was bright red. You bit your lip to not smile at how cute he looked.

"What's a girlfriend for?" You asked joking. You scooted out of your seat and sat next to the boy. Peter quickly scooted over to make room. Your thigh touched his and you turned to look at him. The cafe was so busy that you felt alone.

Your hands wrapped around his neck and you felt his heart beating fast. Peter lightly gripped your waist. His eyes dipped to look at your lips. Your pulled his face to your and your lips touched softly. His cool lips against your warm. You wrapped your hand in his curls as you kissed. His kiss was soft and sweet.

His tongue softly licked your lips and you opened your mouth. He tentatively explored your mouth. Now, Peter could hear your heart pounding. He tasted like hot chocolate. His smell was all Peter, with clean soap and something that reminds you of the science lab.

Peter barely stroked your side with his hands. He was a good guy. He was sweet and kind and yours. You wished this moment would last forever.

You were wrenched from the kiss by Peter tensing right before a horrifying sound of metal cracking and glass shattering. Peter wrapped you tight to his body and pulled you both to the floor away from the window. You laid on his chest with your eyes clenched tightly closed.

Finally silence fell on the cafe and you looked up. Smoke filled your lungs and you coughed uncontrollably. Peter helped you up. Your ears rang and you were in a daze. Other people looked around as a huge pole lay in the middle of the cafe. A police officer ran in the cafe and began pulling people out.

Peter helped you to the street. Your whole body shook and your weren't sure if it was from fear or cold. What the hell happened?

"Babe, I have to help. Okay? Okay?" Peter asked holding your cheeks in his hands. It took a minute before you understood what he meant and finally you nodded. Peter ran to the nearest alley.

A minute later Spider-Man was helping the people climb out of the cafe. You stood in front of the building. Where did this pole come from? How did it get there? People asked as they realized what happened.

You saw a shadow on the building behind you and you turned to look. A figured that appeared to be a man with multiple limbs climbed down the building in the swirling snow. You stood froze in fear. People screamed. You couldn't think as the monster came towards you. Too late, you decided to run.

A metal claw caged you around the ribs and it picked you up. You shrieked and tried to escape but it was no use. The punishingly cold metal wouldn't budge. It instead lifted you up.

"Peter! Help! Oh, God, Peter," you screamed. Peter froze. He heard your voice in sheer terror. He hadn't noticed the screams as the villain climbed down the building over the screams from people in the building. He ran out of the cafe.

"Spider-Man! That- that monster took that girl," a woman shrieked and pointed. Peter turned to see you being carried away. You tried to claw yourself out but Peter knew it was no use. He has barely escaped those claws a few years earlier.

Peter swung towards the man. You shrieked and screamed as you dug your hands into the claws. You hadn't seen Peter yet because you were stuck facing away. The claw was too tight to turn in. Tears streamed down your face from the cold biting wind. You began to panic.

"Let me go, please! Don't hurt me," you pleaded with the man who appeared to have metal arms coming from his back.

"That depends on our friend Spider-Man. He can give me what I want and I'll go away, or I'll drop you off the top of this building first and then take it from him," the man growled as he finally stopped atop a large building. He turned you to face out. You could see the ground so far down and knew you would never survive that fall.

Peter swung up to the building across and stuck to the wall. "Ock, put her down. This is between us," Peter said more bravely than he felt. He wasn't sure if he could catch you before you hit the ground.

"Spider-Man, you know it doesn't work that way," the man countered. "I'm just asking for a bit of your blood. That not too much."

"My- wh-why do you want my blood," Peter asked disgusted. He should have known it wasn't going to be money like an ordinary criminal.

"Your super healing. This metal is tough on the human body."

"You could always take it off," Peter suggested. Doc Ock scoffed.

"I could throw your girlfriend off the building," he wiggled you over the edge of the building. You gasped and clung to claws. Your heart pounded violently and you felt close to passing out.

"No! No! Don't, please," you begged.

"No! Don't do anything crazy," Peter said with an arm out. Doc slowly pulled you back to the roof. You shook violently. Your eyes were wide and pleading with Peter to save you.

"Give me the blood then, boy," Doc said. Peter thought quickly.

"Put her down. Safely. And I'll give it to you," Peter said as he climbed up to the roof of his building. Peter put out both hands in good faith. He knew this was a terrible idea but what else could he do. The snow fell quicker and obscured the ground below.

"Good. Here," Doc tossed Peter a syringe wrapped in plastic. Peter's hands shook as he opened it and screwed the needle on. This was a terrible idea but he could fix it later.

"Don't give him your blood," you said as your mind caught up to the situation. "Don't."

"It'll be okay," Peter said pushing the needle through the skin of his arm. You watched as the vial filled with red blood. Doc grinned in anticipation. Finally the vial was full and Peter pulled the needle from his skin. The snow was falling heavily.

"Throw me the vial and I'll give you the girl," Doc said. Peter walked to the edge.

"Will she be safe?" Peter asked gripping the vial tightly. "You won't hurt her?"

"She should be fine," Doc said shrugging. "Toss the vial or I throw her down."

Peter gulped before throwing the vial across the gap. Doc threw you between the buildings. Your mouth formed an o and your heart froze as you reached out for nothing. You fell for a second before screaming.

Peter jumped from the building and webbed down to you as he anchored to the building. He never even watched Doc as he raced to you. Finally he grabbed you around the middle close to the ground. You clung to him tightly as you shook. He let you both down safely at ground level.

Peter glanced up to see only snow. The top of the building was concealed by the snow storm. Doc was gone. Peter buried his head in your neck as you clung to him.

"Baby, you're okay. I've got you. Okay?" Peter said stroking your back. You sobbed as emotions ran through your body. "Let's get home," Peter said seeing that the cops had cleared the scene from the cafe.

He gently picked you up and swung to your dorm. Peter opened the window and you both climbed in. He took the suit off and grabbed some sweats and thought of his clothing in the alley. Once he calmed you down he would go get them. And figure out what to do about Doc Ock.

"You need to get out of your clothing into something warm. They're all wet from the snow," Peter said. You barely registered what he was saying as he pushed pajamas into your hands. You pulled your shirt off without a thought and began pulling the pjs on. Peter turned to give you privacy.

When he felt you had changed Peter turned towards you. You sat at the end of the bed. Your hair was damp, nose red, and eyes watery as you stared in space. It was just too much to think about. Peter touched your arm nervously and you pulled him close and molded to his body.

Peter laid you both down on the bed. Your arms wrapped around his waist and you buried your face in his shoulder. He ran his fingers through your hair and held you close. He reached over and pulled a blanket on you both. Peter kissed your hair and thought about how he almost lost you today.

He continued to comfort you until he felt your body relax and your breathing slowed in sleep. Then finally Peter let himself fall asleep with you. He would stop Doc Ock later.

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Message Me to be added or removed from permanent tag list. Message me if you want to be added to the other part/s of Snow.

[lazinesswrites]

WIP Wednesday

Happy Wednesday, people ^-^

So I know I said last Sunday that I was back from my unplanned hiatus, and then promptly disappeared again. In my defense, I spent most of the last two weeks sleeping, except for the one all-nighter I pulled. Anyway. I'm back! For mostly real this time! I still have an exam next week that I need to prepare for, but then the school-year is over, and I can finally focus on my writing! Not that I haven't been writing lately, as that's the one thing I did other than sleep over the last two weeks. So today is gonna be mostly a list of all the projects I'm currently working on, with just a few words about where I'm at with those, and maybe what they're about.

First up is They Say Love is a Journey. Novel-length, medieval fantasy, Malec fic. I have been working on this for most of a year by now, although I've been away from it for a little while as I focused on uni-stuff. I've started rereading what I have, both for editing purposes and just to remember where I'm at so I can finally write that one last chapter. I think I'll be able to post this one before next semester starts up.

Then there's the Hiding From Your Home series. Yes, you read that right, it's a series now. Also Malec, this one a canon-divergence fic, where Alec is part dragon. The first installment has been up on Ao3 for a while now, and I just posted a tiny sequel, Mischief, last Sunday. I have a couple more sequels/bonus chapters in the works for that one, but no idea of when I will finish them.

How Fragile We Are is another canon-divergence Malec fic, which I've had the idea for for ages, but only started actually writing last week. It's honestly mostly done, but I'm not sure when I'll finish it, as I kind of need to be in the proper mood for this one. It's not very long, but it's difficult to write, because it deals with some pretty heavy themes that I want to make sure I do some kind of justice.

I've actually started another little Malec wing-fic, which is also one I got the idea for a long time ago and just haven't gotten around to write yet. Now there's at least one scene written down. It doesn't have a name yet, though.

Then the other day I started another longer fic, based on a prompt posted in the Malec discord server and the ensuing conversation, about Parabatai sharing dreams. It's gonna be very Parabatai-centric and kind of a closer look on how that bond works, but Magnus is also gonna make an appearance or two, because I'm not quite sure I'm capable of writing Shadowhunters fic without Magnus.

Ah, and there's the one I've so far called Magnus doesn't go to Edom, although it has nothing to do with the currently-abandoned idea I called Magnus goes to Idris. This one is kind of a spite-fic, as I started it entirely as a response to a fic I read, which was good, but which had a point that I simply do not agree with. You can maybe guess from the title what it's gonna be about. I'm thinking of putting it in a series together with One Night (to Change the World) and any other works I might write with a similar sort of premise. The series would be called Ripples.

I actually have more WIPs and a whole bunch of ideas and prompts and stuff gathered in one big document somewhere, but these are the ones I've been sort of actively working on lately. I hope this very long post and the prospect of more fics to come makes up for the hiatus 😙 I'll try to post a snippet of something on Sunday, but I have an exam Monday, so we'll see. After that, I should be back to regular WIP-updates, Wednesdays and Sundays, and slowly finishing some of all these fics ^-^ Until then, have a nice week!

[dalashas]

Hiii. This is very random but I'm probably going to uni of Bristol this September and was just going through related tags where I found you. I'm going for vet med and I think you mentioned zoology. Since they're similar faculties and you're also Indian (as am I) , I was wondering if you would mind giving me some insight on Bristol? I'm desperate for any info lol

Hello! So sorry if this is a late response, I never check my inbox!

So, first off there are very few Indian shops near uni, most of the Asian community here are East Asian so there are East Asian shops, but I spoke to an Indian girl when I was in first year and she told me that there are distant Indian shops but you have to get on a bus and it's a trek, so I just bring stuff back from home (London) or get stuff from the big Asda.

There is a society called IndiaSoc that you will see at the fresher's fair, but I never joined it, I just know it was pretty busy when I saw the stall and got their emails so I doubt covid decimated it (like what happened to Roots the gardening soc- the conservation society BUCG took over their niche after they vanished, also I'm in that one and its nice), so if you feel homesick for Indian people, check them out and maybe you'll make friends!

My friend is in the vet course, I don't know what work they do but I know she went to Langford for placement, and I've been in the vet building, there are bone collections in it and it is the only building I've been into where you have to show the receptionist your ID card before they let you in, very spooky. My main building is the life science building (LSB), I don't believe you'll be working in there though. I know my friend did dissections of animals much bigger than what I did in first year, she did different mammals such as dogs so be prepared for quite a few dissection practicals.

In terms of accommodation, I would say be near the city centre because you will be within walking distance to everything. I was in the East residential villiage (Riverside specifically, which is a cheaper option. Orchard Heights is one of the more expensive options and IT HAS A RAT PROBLEM), I advise against living in Stoke Bishop, which is really far away and you need a bus to get there and it is very expensive.

I can't tell you much about vet course I'm afraid, except that you will have animal handling tests where you have to demonstrate how to hold a beast such as a rabbit, but you do it on a plush toy?? I know the vet cohort wasn't happy with some of the exams for being difficult and having niche questions, but we did our exams over covid when support was very low (not having in-person teaching sucks no matter how hard they try to mitigate the circumstances) so that could have played a large part in how successful their year was. I know the vet school is generally rated very highly.

Let me know if you have any specific questions, I hope I can tell you more or ask someone else if they know. I'll be graduated by next year but I love the city so much that I hope to stay if I can get a job. Bristol is beautiful, the history is very interesting, there is a lot of old architecture which is really interesting, and while it is an expensive place to live like London, I've found it is worth it. There are lots of places to eat and drink, and the uni's society game is strong (no matter how much people complain about the student union for double booking lmao), there is a goodly variety of groups you can join.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Jesse

Jac: [Okay, so it's year 2, so she would be just 18 and Jesse would be just 17, it's their last year of school and exams are looming etc etc, all the behaviour has become business as usual so everyone would've just stopped freaking out as hard because you'd wear yourself out otherwise it isn't sustainable, I'm vibing that this is around Christmas time, just because I'm cruel and then we can use the worried Xmas picture LMAO] Jesse: [I like that because then it's not that far into school year 2 aka close to uni looming but it has been ages since her and Amelia started their whole fwb bs so a mood] Jac: [I think it makes sense because it's like, a year since everything started really so it's as raw in a weird way 'cos it's like a shit anniversary lol] Jesse: [agreed, soz boy that I haven't fleshed you out enough to know what's been going in your life for this year besides fame] Jac: [you can be vague, at least, because this convo will not be about you, fill in the blanks later, not all of us are wilding all the time] Jesse: [and not all of us are oversharers like Savannah lol he'd be keeping shit to himself even if it was all kicking off] Jac: [true tea, anyway, I will start this] Jac: Hey, where are you? Jesse: [somewhere he likes to go to write and generally have privacy] Jac: Oh, okay Jac: never mind, it's cool Jesse: ? Jac: I just was gonna ask Jac: well, I don't know what I was gonna ask actually so yeah, ignore this Jesse: What's wrong? Jac: I looked and I couldn't find it Jac: but it was kind of a hole so maybe I just missed it Jac: but I was sick loads and loads I had to get off the bus so I know that's gone Jesse: hang on, what? Jac: You know Jac: I'm not a total mess Jac: I always make sure, after Jac: even if I'm super gone, I've never forgot Jesse: alright Jesse: stop talking in riddles for a sec, I dunno what you're going on about Jac: I went to this party, a week ago Jac: no Jac: more like two, fuck, three? Jac: I don't know, but anyway Jac: I remember looking for a condom in the bin on the floor in the sheets whatever Jac: and I remember because I didn't find one so it got through the haze Jac: and then when I was coming home I was sick and I'd literally just dry-swallowed my pill 'cos I keep them in my bag or my bra or whatever I've got on me Jesse: Fuck Jesse: alright, we can sort this Jac: Where do I go? is it the GP or do I have to go to one of those clinics? Jesse: I'm having a look Jesse: where are you now? Jac: I don't want to go to the doctors Jac: can they tell mum and dad Jac: it's meant to be patient confidentiality but literally everyone found out when Millie H got crabs Jesse: you don't have to do nowt you don't want Jesse: I'll figure something out Jac: I don't have no one else to ask Jac: sorry Jesse: shut up Jesse: you don't need to ask anyone else, I'll sort it Jac: I don't know why I didn't get the morning after Jac: well I do but it's so fucking stupid to say it now Jesse: you never said where you were Jac: just got out of work Jesse: I'll be there as soon as Jesse: get a ☕ Jac: I feel like all of my insides are gonna come out Jac: this is bad Jac: what the fuck am I gonna do, Jess Jesse: don't start, you'll do your own head in before owt's even happened Jac: how the fuck does this even happen Jac: it's ridiculous Jesse: [sends her whatever he's been working on like distract yourself with telling me how crap this is etc] Jac: What are you doing Jesse: what kind of question is that? Jesse: just sent you it Jac: why Jac: I don't have the time or desire to listen to that right now Jesse: are you waiting for me or what? Jac: I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know if you got the general vibe of my messages Jesse: sit down for a bit Jac: fine Jesse: It'll be alright Jesse: I know where we're going Jac: that's the first step in this marathon shitshow, I suppose Jesse: 👍 Jac: your downplay isn't really helping, just so you know Jesse: we can't both lose it, dickhead Jac: if there's a time for it, it's now Jesse: might be in a bit, not now Jac: so you're waiting for your moment, okay Jesse: that alright with you? Jac: not really Jac: but whatever, it's the least of my problems now Jesse: you're 18, they can't say nowt to ma and da that's one less Jac: oh, true Jac: thank god I waited 'til after September to ruin my life then Jac: as long as the receptionists don't catch wind Jesse: they won't give it me, as a lad case I were forcing it down some lass's throat against her will Jac: what do you mean Jesse: if I could just leg it in there for you I would Jac: obviously you can't Jac: we don't know if it's even happened Jac: or what I'm gonna do if it has Jesse: yeah Jac: you're thinking of morning after Jac: but they don't give that to blokes now either Jesse: about as much I know about this, that Jac: have much experience then Jesse: not really Jac: you'd know if you had Jac: probably wait 'til you've earnt more money to rinse you of it Jesse: sounds about right Jac: not worth the negatives at this stage Jesse: tah Jac: not me doing you a favour by not getting pregnant Jesse: obviously Jac: 🙄 Jesse: 🙄 Jac: shut up Jac: you're so annoying Jesse: 🤐 Jac: ugh Jac: you say nothing yet you still say the wrong thing Jac: it'd be a skill if it wasn't clearly the opposite Jesse: what's the right thing? Jac: If I knew that there'd be no need for you or the conversation Jesse: come on Jac: what? Jesse: you reckon I'm getting it wrong, you must have some clue what ain't Jac: I don't Jac: you're just Jac: I don't know Jesse: say it Jesse: might make you feel less shit Jac: ha Jac: wouldn't that be nice Jac: miraculous, even Jesse: 🎄🎅 Jac: I wasn't looking to be the next Mary, tah Jesse: that were Jude's role in the nativity, not yours Jac: her years seriously lacking in talent Jesse: Dunno how top we can say ours is for having me stick a tea towel on my head Jac: it's not a musical Jac: the shit film was made Jesse: could've been if they'd let me have any lines instead of that 🐑 to chuck about Jac: as damning as this glimpse into your psyche is Jac: you really think you chatting about 4 year olds singing silent night is the thing I need right now Jesse: alright, kids ain't the ideal subject Jesse: I get it Jac: no shit Jac: you all do my head in with this shit Jac: honestly, peaking at vaguely racial costuming is the saddest thing I've ever heard Jac: and my life is currently in the toilet Jesse: piss off have I peaked at owt Jesse: ain't even properly packed for my gig yet, like Jac: it's you who's bitter at being snubbed for joseph Jac: no need to read between the lines, dickhead Jesse: never said that Jesse: he was well fit and had 🥇 line delivery Jac: don't be disgusting Jac: I don't know why you even remember these things, any of you Jesse: leave it out Jac: you Jesse: it's bollocks that you're saying you don't Jac: I don't Jac: and I don't care either Jac: and if I have to spend one more minute around you chuntering on about this shit that doesn't matter and never did Jac: I'm actually going to scream Jesse: go for it Jesse: I'm here now, you can properly aim it at me Jac: [just staring him down to make a point of looking at him like #unphased 'you got an appointment?'] Jesse: [we just nodding like yep let's go but not moving because we're rushing no bitch especially not for something like this] Jac: [obviously walking in whatever direction we need to] Jesse: [love a silence that should be awkward but is actually comfortable] Jac: [for you anyway but us losing our mind be happening regardless so yeah] Jesse: [we know he is too but shh because now is not the time for you to be scared sir] Jac: [get this appointment done so you can go away and think about what you're doing] Jesse: [hit her with the feelsy JJ lean while you're waiting so she knows you care though thank you] Jac: [just getting out of there like 'I wanna go to work but I've only just left and they're shut' no place to go casually] Jesse: [he should take her somewhere feelsy even if it is because it's not, if that makes sense, like for it's normality] Jesse: [I'd suggest his work but that's unlikely to be shut unless they had that appointment at a really weird hour lol] Jesse: [somewhere she'd actually appreciate being rn is the point anyway] Jac: [we'll just go anywhere rn 'cos truly nowhere else to go] Jesse: [even if he's just driving/walking you around aimlessly, we're giving you time to think gal] Jac: [we're just scrolling furiously through our phone right now to the socials/texts from said night] Jesse: [meanwhile he's ignoring his because we blatantly have shit that we're supposed to be doing that we're obviously not] Jac: [thrusting the phone in his face casually with a picture of this dude like it means anything 'do I call him now?'] Jesse: [a look like do you want to because we don't know this dude and even if we did it's up to her if she wants to have that convo with him or not] Jac: [when you do that pause like well, elaborate please] Jesse: ['it don't need to be now' cos it really doesn't like you literally just found out and are probably in shock] Jac: [nods like okay 'so what am I doing now?' we literally just wanna be told what to do] Jesse: [we're taking her to get sugary tea and some food even if she doesn't eat or drink it, leading her there like she is a bub] Jac: [probably automatically eating and drinking without complaint we are that out of it] Jesse: [it's okay he's got enough wits about him to go somewhere where they won't run into millions of people they know because not rn thank you] Jac: [just a ball of energy because we need to do something but what can you right now] Jesse: [such a bobbing lil leg under that table, both of y'all] Jac: ['this is not-' shakes head] Jesse: [just looking at her like what because not the time either to put words in her mouth] Jac: ['this was not in my plan'] Jesse: ['do you wanna stick to the one you had or have a different crack at it?'] Jac: ['if it were that easy-' face like it'd be done and we wouldn't be sat here] Jesse: [nods and drinks that tea] Jac: ['this changes it regardless' letting that sit there and sink in] Jesse: [let it hit him how big of a deal this actually is because up until now we haven't let ourselves think about it/have been focused on the minute by minute actions of all this] Jac: ['no matter what I do'] Jesse: ['I'll be about no matter what' like love you babe always gonna be here for you 'dead comforting that, yeah?'] Jac: [scoffs 'yeah, condemning everyone to the same life sentence of an unwanted child about or the gnawing guilt of murdering it is exactly what I wanted'] Jesse: ['murder's a bit strong'] Jac: [shrugs 'not really'] Jesse: [shrugs back like if that's what you reckon] Jac: ['I know what you reckon I should do, alright'] Jesse: [a look like yeah obviously because I think you should do what's right for you] Jac: ['well it isn't that fucking simple, Jesse, so just' the hand mime that's like closing your fingers like sh] Jesse: [mimes the 🤐] Jac: ['you might not say much but you're loud with it, I know you, remember'] Jesse: [a look back like and I know you too] Jac: ['he already has some'] Jesse: [😒 because how old is this man tbh and who is he we don't stan] Jac: ['not like I knew at the time, but I've checked him out since, obviously'] Jesse: [gestures like gimme your phone so I can look] Jac: [does, he can easily be in his 20s and my vibe is a kid when he was like 17/18 and then one a few years later] Jesse: [just stalking this dude and drinking our tea, looks fun and casual but isn't] Jac: ['he has a right to know, right?' like genuinely ?] Jesse: ['Probably, but I ain't gonna force you to tell him if you don't want to'] Jac: ['you aren't going to force me to do anything, or anyone else; but morally...' shrugs 'it'd be better not to know, in loads of ways'] Jesse: ['Did he say owt to you after?' because there is that condom uncertainty so like did he wanna follow up is our question or was he not bothered] Jac: ['no, I don't know him' like duh 'I had to ask Darla his name'] Jesse: [a look like there you go then, don't worry too much about him rn because clearly he ain't worried about if he got your pregnant or not] Jac: [🙄 'obviously it's not a concern until it happens, that's kind of the point'] Jesse: [🙄 back because it is a concern before it happens for loads of people but whatever] Jac: ['is this helpful? he didn't wear a condom, that doesn't mean he doesn't wanna be or deserve to be contacted, by that rhetoric the only people who would would be the ones you didn't need to'] Jesse: ['never said it did, and I never said don't bother contacting him'] Jac: ['just because you don't vocalize it, doesn't get you out of any responsibility for implying it with what you don't, for fuck's sake, when are you gonna grow a backbone?'] Jesse: 'what I vocalised were it don't have to happen right the fuck now and it don't, take a sec for fuck's sake'] Jac: ['no because we're on a fucking timeline here, we don't have a sec!' raising our voice assumedly higher than the hushed tones we've been keeping] Jesse: [putting a hand on her arm like calm down but not a patronising calm down just like the equivalent of the JJ soft hey but not in words] Jac: ['no' and pushing his hand away but in a more calm manner not aggressively so 'the longer you delay this the worse it gets, it has to be dealt with now'] Jesse: [eye contact because we will not be fobbed off hen 'I get that but you only found out about an hour ago, like'] Jac: ['I fail to see the point in meditating on it, like' looking back obvs 'and anyway, the fact remains I still DON'T know what I'm going to do so you've got what you want there anyway'] Jesse: [a look like don't be a dickhead 'you don't reckon you might be in a bit of shock or whatever, nah?' but it's not a question cos we know you are and then a look like you can piss right off if you think this is what I want] Jac: ['and what? if I sleep on it this will be any less of a life-changing, earth-shattering shock?' shakes head like don't be stupid] Jesse: [a sigh because we don't know what to do or what to say] Jac: ['it's very sweet of you to want to fix this-' our tone suggests we think otherwise lol '-but that ain't why I called you'] Jesse: [a look like yeah no shit because we know she didn't have anyone else to call] Jac: ['I literally just need you to help me make the decision and then be there, not make me fucking okay with it, that isn't what this is'] Jesse: ['alright' genuinely we do mean it] Jac: ['thank you' big sigh] Jesse: [getting more tea for you both, it won't fix it but it is our love language] Jac: [just be having a google about all the possible things you could ever need to know for every available option] Jesse: [you too boy while you're waiting for that tea because why not] Jac: [casually terrifying ourselves lol but necessary evil 'cos yeah, can't not do this shit 'I hope you feel fucking lucky not to have a uterus'] Jesse: [nodding because we do after all this googling if we didn't before] Jac: [ah the biological unfairness of being born a girl lol] Jesse: [I hate it and all I've had to deal with are periods so] Jac: [literally being a straight girl/girl who has sex with men is lowkey mental torture like constant worry and if it does happen any outcome is bad like] Jesse: [agreed and y'all are gonna have to go home eventually and that upsets me to think about] Jac: [let us say that's hit you rn bitch 'what are we gonna...am I gonna say? I don't-' we mean speak 'cos literally tis the season lol] Jesse: [when that hits you then because again there's no right answer to this 'if you owt to be said, I can'] Jesse: [*want] Jac: ['I don't want it but-' a massive pause whilst we try to get our voice back to how it usually sounds and not straining 'cos you're about to cry 'cos we don't want that, then when you speak again it's barely audible '- how many more secrets am I expected to carry'] Jesse: [scoots his chair as close to her as he physically can because it's time for another feelsy lean that means 1. I love you 2. you can tell me anything 3. most importantly you can tell this whole fam literally anything even Jude who is a lot] Jac: [shakes head like clearly not but we don't move away] Jesse: [letting this moment happen because it's been so long for you both] Jac: [literally a year in all the senses lol] Jesse: [soz that we've done this to you lads] Jac: ['I don't think I can do any of this'] Jesse: ['you ain't got a choice, not to sit back and do nowt, I mean'] Jac: ['I know'] Jesse: [pushes her tea towards her like drink up because again it's our love language and they can't stay forever] Jac: [at least there's an excuse to go to the bathroom and filmically have a moment] Jesse: [and at least when they get home she's in the basement so he can be doing music shit  lowkey all night without it being blatant that he's checking on her] Jac: [we can skipperoo to that] Jesse: [agreed] Jac: [say that she was out of work 5 ish, say that took an hour at the least two at the most, they get home 7 ish, this is like late/early AM] Jac: Are you awake? Jesse: 👍 Jesse: [strums a note on the guitar or presses one on the keyboard like hello] Jac: I thought you were meant to be talented Jesse: where'd you hear that? Jesse: sounds like a load of bollocks Jac: Probably Jac: isn't everything on the 'gram Jesse: ✔ Jac: you'll have to come with me Jesse: Alright Jac: I just need to decide how to do it Jac: obviously I can't have it Jesse: did you work out how many weeks ago it were? Jac: three Jesse: I can give 'em a ring in a few hours, see how long you'll have to wait to get an appointment Jac: it can be up to 2 weeks Jac: that's what it says Jesse: I'll take the first one they offer us Jac: maybe that's to get it done Jac: it's all confusing Jac: and you can get the pills online and they won't prosecute you now but I still don't know how safe or fast that'll be either Jesse: soon as I can speak to someone, I'll ask whatever we ain't worked out Jac: pills have to be faster, even if they have to order them in, that's only a day or two Jac: two weeks is too long Jac: but the operation might be less scary Jac: I don't know Jesse: [sends her whatever he can find about people's actual experiences even though it's probably terrifying because the only way to really decide] Jac: I don't want to do this Jesse: I know Jac: this is why everyone does it Jac: has the kids Jac: I can't do this Jesse: can you do that though? Jac: I can't do any of this Jesse: not to be a dickhead, but you have to Jac: I know that Jesse: [playing some kind of song from their childhood whether that's a JJ or grandma Ali mood like this will comfort us while we ponder] Jesse: I dunno about waiting times for it but if you want it over and done sooner, the operation takes less time Jesse: couple of hours and you'll be back home Jac: yeah Jac: the pills can take days Jac: and you have to make sure it all comes away what if it doesn't Jac: how would I know what's too much blood Jesse: you'd have to call 'em or I would Jac: I wish they'd knock you out for the operation Jac: that's all Jesse: yeah, I get that Jac: it's punishment anyway Jac: there's no lesser it's just picking one and sticking to it Jesse: are you gonna tell anyone else, other than me and him? Jac: I don't know Jac: there's no point, I guess Jesse: might be a bit of a headfuck doing the 2nd pill at home if ma and da don't know, all I were thinking Jesse: but we could go somewhere else Jac: I don't want them to know Jac: I wish I didn't know Jesse: Alright Jac: when it's over forget you ever did Jesse: come on Jac: keep it to yourself then Jac: I don't want to talk about it Jesse: you might and I'll be about if you do Jesse: don't mean I'll be shouting about it Jac: nah Jesse: up to you, that Jac: just leave it Jesse: I heard you Jesse: I'll leave it out Jac: Good Jesse: ☕? Jac: no thanks Jac: I don't need stained teeth as well as a ruined womb Jesse: I'll pick you up a whitening kit when I go work in a bit Jac: 🙄 Jac: can't really drink tea through a straw like you can your coffee Jesse: if you're willing to look like a twat you can do owt Jesse: nobody's about to 👀 any road Jesse: I've had customers cracking on with all sorts Jac: I'd sooner be found dead in a ditch than be one of your customers Jesse: charming Jac: like it weren't obvious Jesse: never said it weren't Jesse: still a bit rude Jac: what, that I'm not a pretentious hipster that likes to pretend shit music is amazing and everyone else is too stupid to get it Jesse: that you'd rather 💀 than have a ☕ off me Jac: I don't know why you'd expect different Jesse: I never said that either Jac: then why say anything at all Jesse: 🤐 Jac: about right Jesse: 🤏 Jac: what does that even mean Jesse: it'll do Jac: whatever Jac: not as if there's any choice in the matter Jesse: what does that mean? Jac: you're annoying and you've got nothing to say Jac: that's just how it is Jesse: alright then Jac: yeah, case in point Jesse: suits you often enough that it's the case Jac: yeah, love that I hate you all Jac: it's a right laugh Jesse: for us an' all Jac: as I said, no choice in the matter Jac: just get on with it Jesse: 👍 Jac: I'll do the pills Jesse: I'll be about Jac: whatever Jesse: you've gotta have somebody with you Jac: I'm sure plenty didn't and don't Jac: if it gets to much, call an ambulance Jesse: you heard, I'll be here Jac: and I said, whatever Jesse: let me know when then Jac: 👍 Jesse: 👌 Jac: no, it's not Jesse: no shit Jac: so quit with this shit and acting like it is Jesse: you Jac: I'm not Jac: I just wanna face my time and do it Jesse: I'm getting my head round it Jac: why? Jac: what's to get, it won't be here Jesse: that's to get if nowt else Jesse: you've gotta do this Jac: so, that has nothing to do with you Jac: it's my mistake my problem Jesse: all that shit I've read ain't just going in one 👂 and out the other Jesse: and it don't have to be my mistake or problem for me to be bothered Jac: then don't get someone pregnant Jac: really welcome for the cautionary tale Jesse: tah Jac: just go away and go to bed Jesse: I ain't finished, there'll be sod all point going to bed when I am Jac: great Jesse: I'll live Jac: I don't care about you Jac: I'm trying to sleep Jesse: crack on then Jesse: I won't stop you Jac: I can't sleep when you're down here Jesse: alright, I'll piss off Jac: thank you Jesse: night Jac: yep Jac: [the next day/day after potentially] Jac: I got the pills Jac: if you're still interested Jesse: they give you the 1st one at the clinic or what? Jesse: how I read it Jac: then you know Jac: I'm gonna fake an abortion for your attention? Jac: obviously not Jesse: piss off Jac: I'm not in the mood Jesse: I'd have gone with you Jac: no need Jesse: do you need picking up now? Jac: I had a cab Jac: they make sure you aren't gonna get off in a car and crash or whatever Jesse: you home? Jac: where else Jesse: is anyone else about or what? Jac: yeah, if you didn't want to do this Jac: you should've said from the start Jac: then I wouldn't have bothered with any of this Jesse: if you'd have said you were doing it I'd be there waiting for you Jac: forget it Jac: you're more of a hindrance than a help Jesse: for not being a 🧠📖 yeah alright Jac: no, for making this remotely about you Jac: and being such a fucking pushover Jac: sometimes, you don't take no for an answer Jac: I was fucking terrified last night and you just left Jac: so fuck you, I don't need you now Jesse: you told me to leave Jac: and? Jac: I can't do this right now, Jesse Jac: I'm literally fucking killing my baby as we speak and you still wanna say you were just doing what I said, anything for an easy life Jac: you're not my problem now, I shouldn't have picked you, simple as Jesse: well you fucking did pick me Jesse: and you know why Jesse: that's about you, not me Jac: because at one point you could be fucking relied upon Jac: my mistake you're actually useless now, well great, thank you SO much Jesse: I got it wrong Jesse: I'm sorry Jac: I needed you to break through Jac: at least try, my God Jesse: I thought you needed space Jesse: I don't know Jac: I don't have enough of that Jac: it's convenient for you to all leave me alone now Jac: you don't like me, whatever Jac: I just needed you to put that aside for this Jesse: piss off, I've fucking tried for a year Jesse: I don't know how to do this with you any more, I don't know you Jac: this isn't run of the mill Jac: it's pretty special circumstances Jac: it is to me Jesse: tah for that, I hadn't realised Jesse: fucking hell Jac: can you just stop Jesse: yeah Jac: Are you gonna come home or what? Jesse: I'm on my way Jac: okay Jesse: is anyone else there or what? Jac: I think Cammie and Jameson were but I just came straight down so they didn't try to talk to me Jac: they might've gone by now Jesse: I'll come in that way Jac: I wasn't just being a bitch, by the way Jac: I bled through the pad I put on Jesse: it don't matter if you were, they'll live Jesse: do you need me to get you anything? Jac: they're used to it too Jac: I've got the painkillers Jesse: I'll just hurry up then Jac: won't be going anywhere Jesse: [we're not saying anything because we're hurrying lol] Jac: [fairplay hen] Jesse: [is gonna bring her loads of things that she could possibly want though obvs to a laughable degree] Jac: [a hot water bottle is a good idea so say you thought of that lol] Jesse: [yeah, cue montage of him giving her a comical amount of things that she lowkey doesn't want or need but there will be some useful shit in there too] Jac: [okay so just watched a quick video, and the worst is infection, sepsis as very worst, it not all coming away, or the tablets not working and this is worked out by going through more than 2 pads an hour with blood, a bad smell down there, a really high fever and the pain not being helped like at all by pain relief methods; we'll let that not happen because it is enough lol, so the basics are severe pain, cramps and blood, nausea, vomiting, diarhea, being shivery hot, you pass tissue and clots and this is meant to take 1-2 days but can last TIL YOUR NEXT PERIOD, the cramps also last about TWO WEEKS, pregnancy symptoms should ease after a couple of days, like being sick, but you can still have tender breasts for several weeks, you can't take the test to confirm the pregnancy is terminated 'til THREE WEEKS later, because the hormones stay around, you aren't allowed sex for 2 weeks BUT IF YOU DO YOU CAN GET PREGNANT IMMEDIATELY AFTER AN ABORTION but like we won't be, you're also not allowed to bath for 2 days and if you have a shower you have to have someone there in case you faint] Jac: [thought we should have this v basic rundown] Jesse: [thank god he is there and not leaving her for a bloody second because I can't even] Jac: [this is what we say when nobody WANTS an abortion hun, this is brutal, we're so rude] Jesse: [worst christmas ever] Jac: [yeah this tops last year and yours before that Amelia, not that we having a competition but hey ho] Jesse: [also thank god that we said that birthday flower drama happened and they broke up so Amelia isn't there casually like oh hey] Jac: [I was thinking if we do want her to know/be real drama, she could try to hit her up, it is Christmas lol] Jesse: [yeah that's always an option because she'll never get you pregnant hun] Jac: [oops, I meant that the other way around, did not write that properly, like Amelia tryna be a bit casual like hey don't be mad it's Xmas and then Jac could flip and it'll obviously be more than the flowers] Jesse: [well that makes sense because it's Amelia she's probably bought her a christmas gift yet again lol] Jac: [that was my vibe lol, god knows how my boo will be feelsy/rude with that] Jesse: [I was thinking she should get her another gay book that relates to their life like she did last year but like folded up inside is a portrait cos she hasn't done one of her since that one when they were like tweens] Jac: [you can find a list I bet, at least you don't know about the gay baby there isn't, that would be too close to the nose] Jesse: [blatantly like a chanel lipstick because we got the lip balm a year before, a theme so yeah leave that for the bae like you did last year] Jac: [a vibey vibe tbh, soz you do not know what you're coming into] Jac: [but yes, this is gonna be a bonding moment for you two, because it'll stop being like let's talk about it and you'll just have to do it, at least 2 days of the worst, you'll have to distract and comfort anywhich ways you can think of, probably lots of old movies and eating comforting junk, I'm just deciding if we tell JJ ourself or make Jesse rn hmm] Jesse: [I love that for you two even though it has to be in such horrible circumstances, I think he should do it because they'll blatantly still speak to her but at least she won't have to start the convo herself] Jac: [yeah, that makes sense as a moment 'cos we aren't stupid and this is gonna be suspish to all of us but at least then we can keep the other kids mainly Jude from being like HEWWO] Jesse: [yeah because Jude is the last thing we need rn no offense hen but he's literally not leaving her and even he isn't the music bit THAT much plus we said he had a show that he's just skipping which Jude would probably know so she'd be like ??! if not] Jac: [like, I'm down for mentioning that is a thing or having her come into the inbox but we don't need it to get to deathcon 5 levels, like we don't have the energy so she'd just be ignored and I won't make you self-RP] Jesse: [we know it's a thing and we know the vibe] Jac: [mhmm, like at the minute we've probably simply forgotten but we will circle back 'round when we're not quite so in traumatic shock] Jesse: [poor Jude just like why is everyone ignoring me, god bless] Jac: [lmao GIMME THAT ATTENTION, truly JJ I dunno how you tell someone to stop without giving up the info but you've gotta somehow] Jesse: [distract her somehow lads, it's nearly christmas there is shit you can do] Jac: [just going on a suspish amount of Christmas activities haha i live] Jesse: [I feel bad for you hen but like all will become clear one day] Jac: [sadly how it's gonna be]

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: Which talk are you going to tomorrow? I can't decide between the humanities and the science ones, because I need them both Jac: Idk why they're on at the same time 🙄 Amelia: Humanities Jac: That makes sense for you Jac: Ugh...oh! Jac: Sav will have to go to one, I'll go to the other and we'll take notes Jac: that will have to do, I talked to Sir and he REFUSES to reschedule, even though he said my point was fair ??? 🤷😒 Amelia: crisis averted Jac: Something like that Jac: maybe we could voice record Jac: have to be sat practically on the speaker though 🤭 Amelia: Sir wouldn't refuse you that Jac: 😷 Jac: I'll come to humanities with you if you like Amelia: I'll be in the back Jac: Come on Jac: that isn't even 😎 now Amelia: neither am I Jac: Why are you acting like you're too cool to sit with me then? Amelia: I don't care about the talk tomorrow Amelia: I probably won't even go Jac: you'll get done if you don't tick off at least one Amelia: they can't punish me for being off sick Jac: you skiver Amelia: if you want me to send you the pics of me on the bathroom floor right now, I will Jac: You're actually sick Jac: bummer Amelia: I look forward to reading more of that on the get well card attached to my 💐 Jac: Don't be so dramatic Jac: what have you got, that cold that's going 'round? Jac: you need to take [these] vitamins Amelia: no Jac: 🤮💩 then Jac: so fluids Amelia: are you done? Jac: There's no need to be snippy Amelia: I can take care of myself Jac: So you want flowers but not anything of actual use Jac: what is up with you right now? Amelia: I don't want flowers, it was clearly a joke Jac: Hilarious, babe Amelia: you'd think so if it came out of his mouth Jac: Who's? Jac: Sirs? Amelia: you're really going to do this? Jac: Do what? Jac: Pursue head of English? Jac: because no, oddly enough Amelia: they don't have the budget for 🌹 it goes on 📚 Jac: So that's what you're on about Jac: my date with Connell Amelia: it's not my fault you've already blocked it out Jac: Why would I have blocked it out? Jac: I had a nice time, thanks for asking Amelia: I literally will never ask Jac: Well that's really nice isn't it Amelia: that's what you keep Is around for Amelia: tell her the gory details Jac: I'm keeping you around because you're meant to be my friends Jac: what the hell Amelia: yeah, that's what I'm meant to be Jac: Say what you mean to say, Meels Jac: you've started now Amelia: no, I think I'm done now actually Amelia: with this Jac: you're actually serious Amelia: if you're serious, then yeah Jac: This is really immature Jac: I go on one date and you don't want to be my friend anymore, seriously Amelia: I can't be mature about it, happy for you, whatever the fuck else you want Jac: Thanks Jac: glad that I mean that little to you Amelia: you mean that much to me Jac: There's nothing wrong with him Amelia: I already feel like I'm dying, I can't listen to your bullet points of his pros Jac: What is wrong with you, why haven't you said? Amelia: because it'll only make me feel worse Jac: I'm not doing this to make you feel bad Amelia: I know Jac: I like boys, I'm sorry Amelia: what do you want me to say? Jac: I know you don't, it's okay Jac: but I can't be that Jac: for you Amelia: it's not okay because you are that for me Amelia: I can't pretend you're not Jac: there will be another person Jac: who can Amelia: you don't know that Jac: of course I do Jac: you're lovely and beautiful and funny Jac: any girl would be lucky to date you Amelia: if I just wanted to date any girl, I would Jac: I can't be gay Jac: there's nothing I can do to make you feel better, is there Amelia: just leave me alone Amelia: because I can't ask you how your date went, it's never going to be something we can gossip about Jac: that doesn't matter Amelia: that makes it worse Amelia: if you think it doesn't matter and we can tip toe around it Jac: no, I didn't mean it like that Jac: I meant the date Jac: I don't need to talk about it, or any dates Amelia: even if you don't, they're still happening Jac: well just Jac: ignore it Jac: you were the one that wanted to go back to before Amelia: I can't ignore it, it's making me sick Jac: you say I mean something to you but now you can't even be my friend Amelia: maybe I couldn't ever and never was Amelia: I don't know anymore Jac: that's bullshit Jac: we were friends, why are you saying this Amelia: I was in love with you Amelia: am Jac: but Jac: how long Amelia: I don't know Jac: we can't Amelia: we won't Jac: you will Jac: not me Amelia: I have to walk away now Jac: I have to let you Amelia: I guess you get custody of Is, she's too boy crazy to go with me Jac: She can decide herself Jac: you can decide what you tell her, I won't say anything Amelia: I wouldn't know where to begin Jac: you aren't going to tell her Jac: you know, the truth Amelia: you know me, I only tell people things I want them to know Amelia: why would I want her to know that it was all fake and wrong? Jac: it wasn't fake Jac: but I understand why you wouldn't want to, I can think of something, that doesn't make you look bad in any kind of way Jac: if you'd like Amelia: what else would you call years of memories not being what you thought they were Jac: it all still happened Amelia: Yeah but what I thought was going to happen next didn't Amelia: and that makes me doubt the rest and myself Jac: yeah Jac: that is Jac: horrible Jac: if there was something I could do, I know that's useless to say Amelia: it's not your fault or on you to try and fix Amelia: I did this to myself Amelia: Is wouldn't understand, I don't even Jac: it feels like it is Jac: it's Jac: even if I was Jac: I couldn't be the sort of girlfriend you'd deserve Amelia: please don't Amelia: I don't want you to feel bad, I literally want the opposite Jac: but I'm serious Jac: I didn't even listen to a word Connell said, I barely laughed at any of his jokes Jac: I'm just awful Jac: it's okay to do that to a boy but I wouldn't want to treat you like that Amelia: it wouldn't be okay if a boy treated you like I have either Amelia: we're probably even Jac: There's some really nice girls that are out now Amelia: I know you're trying to help me but stop Jac: okay Amelia: I can't do it Jac: who are you going to go 'round with at school though Jac: what are you going to do Amelia: fuck school, it's transition year Jac: Oh, Amelia Jac: I feel sick Amelia: me too Jac: does your mum hate me Amelia: of course not Amelia: she can't hate you for liking boys if she doesn't hate me for not Jac: I knew she would never not love you Jac: no matter what Amelia: I was never worried about my parents either Amelia: I think they knew before me anyway Jac: That's important Jac: and makes me feel a bit better Amelia: maybe they'll homeschool me and people can think I'm weird for something that actually is Jac: would you like that? Amelia: not really Amelia: my mum's less annoying, she's still a lot Jac: yeah Jac: loads of people want to be your friend Jac: you'll get taken in by someone so fast Amelia: maybe but I'll be okay if not Amelia: no need to be Savannah-ish about it Jac: I'd hate it Amelia: you don't have to worry about it Jac: I hope so Amelia: trust me Jac: Is might go with you Amelia: I don't think so Jac: Is this real? Amelia: Yeah Amelia: it'll feel like it when I ruin the best friends forever thing without giving her a good reason why, she'll probably never shut up about it Jac: I don't care about her Jac: no offence Jac: I mean us Jac: not being best friends forever Amelia: that's real too Jac: right Amelia: I'm really sorry Jac: it's not your fault Jac: it's just how it has to be Amelia: I don't know what else to do Jac: no, you have to Jac: it's right for you Amelia: or I've got this wrong too Jac: you have to try Jac: you can't keep feeling bad Amelia: I'll try then Jac: I will too Jac: with leaving you be Amelia: you can take your humanities notes, I'm staying home Amelia: my mum is making me Jac: that's probably for the best too Amelia: I must look how I feel Jac: you have to believe it'll get easier Amelia: that's like the slogan Jac: just keep repeating it until it feels real Amelia: that sounds too much like something Savannah would do Jac: maybe she has a point Amelia: never Jac: 😏 Amelia: I have to go, mum's being dramatic about me lying on the floor Jac: feel better and stay safe Jac: promise Amelia: I promise not to pull any dangerous crap but I don't know how to feel better Jac: dangerous but not deadly then Amelia: 😏 if that's your audition for the dramatic one now I've gone, it was great, but it isn't me who gets the final say Jac: it means a lot coming from you Amelia: obviously Jac: See you around Amelia: or not Jac: alright Jac: sorry Amelia: you'll be at uni before you know it, you're always saying it's just around the corner Jac: so will you Jac: we all will Jac: it's still too far away Amelia: I know Amelia: tomorrow feels too far away for me after today Jac: I know what you mean Amelia: anyway Amelia: my mum's not talking to hear herself speak, apparently Jac: go on Jac: don't keep her waiting Amelia: 🏃

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: How gone are you? Rio: I'm wrecked Buster: I'm fine Buster: 'Course Rio: Okay 😏 Rio: Imma go if you ain't on my level then boy Buster: Don't Buster: Talk to me Rio: Been having fun, boo? Buster: Yeah Buster: Mostly when I knocked James out Buster: 😂 Rio: Why'd you do that then Buster: Never shuts up that boy Rio: You better watch out if that's grounds for a kicking tonight, babe Buster: It's my party I can fight who I want to Rio: 🙄 Rio: You're funny Buster: I know Buster: He knows it now as well, like Rio: Coming in hot, I guess Buster: When am I not? 😏 Rio: 😂 Rio: If you say so Buster: You can say it too, I know you're thinking it Rio: You sure? Buster: Yeah Rio: No doubt you been hearing it all night yeah Rio: unless you're fighting everyone Buster: I wanna hear it from you Rio: I'll ring you in a bit Rio: if you want Buster: Don't forget Buster: You're wrecked Rio: I'm not that far gone Rio: just not tryna be that bitch Buster: What? Rio: Blowing up your phone every five seconds, like Buster: I like it Rio: Good Rio: 'cos I already miss you proper bad Buster: I miss you too Buster: Dancing with all these girls who aren't you Rio: Same Rio: It isn't the same, they aren't you Buster: Exactly Buster: They're boring Buster: and don't even know what they're trying to do Rio: I'm sorry you're bored but I ain't Rio: Don't forget Rio: only I can do you like I do Buster: Don't remind me Buster: I can't stop thinking about you as is Rio: But I have to Buster: No Buster: 'Cause I know and you know I know Rio: Fine Buster: Don't sulk about it Rio: Shut up, I ain't Buster: You never say fine if you are Rio: Whaddya want me to say? Rio: I'm superduper fabulous Buster: You're an idiot Rio: Must be, babe, must be Rio: don't knock it Buster: Shut up Rio: Do you wanna talk to me or nah Rio: gonna get a complex you keep telling me to shut up Buster: I love you Buster: I want you here Rio: Okay said I'm not that gone but Rio: doubt I'm getting on a plane levels of sober, baby Buster: We need a private one Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: Both gonna need to be on our grind for a bit longer for that, babe Rio: You cute Buster: I'll call my dad put the demand in before my birthday rolls around Buster: Helicopter at least, like Rio: 😂 Rio: knew you was just spoiling for a fair fight Buster: He wishes it was still fair Rio: Damn Rio: talking an awfully big game tonight boy Buster: Come on Buster: It ain't just talk Rio: I ain't gonna comment Rio: impartial as, obvs Buster: You can say it Buster: Not gonna forward this to him Rio: Wouldn't be the best idea you'd ever had Rio: for many reasons more serious than you doubting his 💪 Buster: I'm not asking you if it's a good idea Buster: Forget it Buster: If you're not gonna be on my side Rio: You're silly Buster: Fuck off Buster: Am not Rio: Don't Pout Rio: we're playing Buster: Whatever Rio: Not whatever Rio: what you thinking? Buster: Like I said, forget it Buster: I've done too many lines Rio: Alright Rio: earnt it after all your 📚🤓 Buster: I forgot shit's better here than in Dublin Buster: One thing that is Rio: 😏 shame you can't do a run for us, like Buster: Come here more Rio: I will Rio: not as if I need to think of an excuse Rio: as long as I avoid your 'rents, it'll be easy Buster: Yeah and they're easy to avoid Rio: Works for me Rio: making awkward morning conversation with 'em the once was bad enough Rio: wasn't even banging you then so Buster: They appeared, we all raised our glasses to cheers and they disappeared again Buster: Good times Buster: You know better now though, yeah? Buster: Fuck being polite Buster: Ignore and avoid like I do Rio: You wanted 'em to stick around and hang? 😂 Rio: I'll stick to avoiding, not their moody teen so I'm not coming at 'em with a fuck off attitude in their own home Buster: 😂 Buster: You keep calling me moody tonight? Buster: You feeling like you're missing out on a decent fight or what? Rio: You know you is Rio: not just got that bottom lip out for the 'gram Rio: nah, all love here, like Buster: I know you wanna fight and fuck Buster: Standard Rio: So what, you reckon 1 outta 2 ain't bad? Buster: Do you reckon I can't fuck you from here Buster: I'm just a phone call away Rio: Don't be a tease again Buster: I'm only a tease if I don't do it Rio: Yeah and you can't rn Rio: I doubt the party's over already Buster: Like that matters Buster: I can do whatever I want Rio: Back on your rich boy hype, yeah? 😉 Buster: Back? I never left it, babe Buster: Forever on this pedestal Rio: 'Course Buster: 💰 talks in whatever postcode, like Rio: Probably true Buster: Actually true Buster: You wouldn't be hustling so hard to make it if it didn't speak for you Rio: Yeah but what's it saying about me to the locals hm Rio: not planning to stay in the 24 forever, shocking, I know Buster: 'Course Buster: You're coming with me Rio: Where? Buster: Everywhere Rio: Yeah Rio: I love you you know Buster: I love you Rio: We're gonna do great things yeah Buster: Yeah Buster: You motivate me, babe Rio: Backatcha Rio: You actually get what I'm trying to do Rio: not just thinking there's nothing else I can do Buster: What cunts are thinking that? Rio: You know, s'what everyone lowkey thinks but doesn't say Rio: but I don't care Buster: Whoever are going around thinking that are the braindead ones Rio: I know I should finish school but it just felt like a waste of time Rio: when I could be out there learning and getting to know the right people to know Buster: You know what you're doing Buster: If they can't work it out, more fool them Rio: Plus I needed the cash for Indie so Rio: Gotta do what you gotta do sometimes Buster: Exactly Buster: Like I gotta finish school so I can get to uni Buster: Even though this school is a headfuck Rio: All about the next step, babe Rio: I couldn't stick it, from what Nance has said and what I've seen of your mates but Rio: is what it is, you're a bit touched if you really rate school, I reckon Buster: 😂 You can't call me that much of a nerd, like Rio: Thank God Rio: taking the whole school boy fantasy vibe way too far, nah 😂 Buster: I know where to draw the line, don't worry Rio: You do? Rio: News to me Rio: Lemme know where I fall, yeah? 😉 Buster: On the right side Rio: Good to know Buster: 😏 Rio: Don't go getting too 😇 on me Buster: 😈 tonight, yeah? Rio: Please Buster: Say it again Rio: Buster Buster: That works too Rio: Save my prettiest pleases for when you can actually hear 'em Buster: Save your voice 'cause we're gonna be on the phone so long you'll start to lose it Rio: 😻 Rio: Promises, promises Buster: You've got it in writing, babe Rio: Catch me sending screenshots of the shit you said drunk to sober you in the AM 😂 Rio: what cures a hangover faster, welcome in advance, baby Buster: I said what I said and I meant what I meant Buster: You can't scare me Rio: Poetic Rio: Catch me swooning 😏 Buster: Shhh Rio: Damn, you mean you ain't gonna recite poetry to me until dawn? Rio: Gutted Buster: I can if you want Buster: This education has equipped me with plenty of that shit Rio: I mean, I'd rather you fucked me like you said you would Rio: if it's all the same to you Buster: I can do both Buster: You'll be the one losing your voice, like, not me Rio: Bit rude you're saying I can't give as good as back Rio: 😒 Buster: I'm just saying you're louder Rio: 😳 Buster: You're so good, baby Buster: Don't doubt 'cause you're meant to be reminding me, remember Rio: Oh right Rio: Lucky I took photos earlier 'cos dread to think Buster: Yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: well your video got me missing you again, couldn't get ready properly i was so distracted so Rio: had to do something, right? Buster: Show me Buster: I haven't stopped missing you Rio: [All the nudes] Buster: Well now you have to call me Buster: Fuck Rio: Alright Rio: give me a sec to get alone Buster: Okay Rio: [A call later] Rio: S'no joke how cold it is out there Rio: We get it, summer's over Buster: Don't be cuddling up to anyone Rio: Who am I gonna? Rio: A bouncer on my way back in Buster: I know you've got form with it, babe Rio: 'Scuse me? Buster: Keeping 'em on side one way or another Rio: Piss off Rio: I'm not a cuddle whore you are Buster: Fuck off Rio: You can't deny Rio: I been knowing Buster: 😒 Rio: Aww, grumpy baby Rio: you know I don't want anyone who ain't you, not even for hugs Buster: Me either Buster: So don't be chatting like I do Rio: I'm not Buster: Good Rio: Don't be mad Buster: I'm sorry Buster: I'm just wrecked Rio: I know Rio: it's cool Rio: can go all out before school starts again and you've gotta be good Buster: School ain't gotta change a thing Buster: I'm still gonna be 😈 Rio: Hmm Buster: You don't reckon? Rio: Nah, I'm sure you're gonna go outta your way to prove it Rio: coke's just good adderral, yeah 🙄 Buster: You're rolling your eyes but you're not wrong Rio: Oh boy Buster: You love me Rio: 🍀 you Buster: Lucky you Rio: Maybe baby Buster: Did I not just prove it Buster: Or do you need me to call you back Rio: My evil plan Rio: Obviously Buster: [rings her back because he's like that] Rio: You're an idiot Rio: but okay Rio: 🍀 Buster: Tell me you love me Rio: I love you so much Buster: I still miss you Buster: It's so fucked Rio: I know Rio: idk what to do Buster: We just gotta keep doing what we're doing Buster: You're worth it to me Rio: Yeah Rio: it'll be alright Rio: not like we were ever satisfied in person either Rio: can't be helped you're too damn desirable Buster: Can't be helped that we come from the biggest fucking family ever either Buster: It really will be easier here I'm not just saying it to save myself the flight time Rio: Don't worry, I know Rio: happy of the break Rio: always got 2 free days a week, and I can film at yours, even if the quality ain't as good Rio: it'll be easy Buster: Whatever you need to make the quality better just let me know Buster: Not like we're short on space to set up, like Rio: Cheers Rio: I can rock the on the go thing, had to in hotels and shit loads, keeps it real Buster: Alright Buster: But if you need it, send me links to the tech and I'll get it Rio: You're cute Rio: and good Buster: You really matter to me, you know Rio: Shh Buster: You can't make me from there Rio: I don't know, wouldn't be so sure if I was you Rio: you can make me loud from there so Buster: That's different Buster: It's easy Rio: True Rio: such a loud mouth you Rio: god loves a trier, babe Buster: What have you got to make me speechless? That's the only question Rio: Million dollar question, some might say Rio: Have to wait and see Buster: Fuck waiting Buster: Put up or shut up, babe Rio: Your manners really do leave so much to be desired Rio: good thing you're pretty 😜 Buster: It ain't no finishing school I'm at even if some of the girls try and play like they've learned it all Rio: Seen the snaps, babe Rio: even I can see they're no ladies Buster: 😂 Buster: Not something exclusive to the 24, sorry babe Rio: You can keep 'em Rio: keep you posted on if you can post any of your lads, like Buster: No need, I know what you like Buster: And you've got previous to go off too Rio: Don't rush me Rio: that's how James happened and I don't need to repeat that experience Buster: Don't remind me Buster: He did and look what happened there Rio: 😒 Seriously Rio: you're threatening to punch me now okay go off Buster: Shut up no Buster: I'm just saying I don't wanna talk about him Rio: Me either Rio: we're good Buster: Are we good if you think I'm gonna give you a smack? Rio: I was joking, don't worry Buster: Not one of your best Rio: You've gotta relax, babe Buster: Yeah 'cause saying that is really relaxing, like Buster: Stop trying to wind me up Rio: Ugh, alright Buster: Are you really gonna have attitude about it now? Rio: You clearly are Rio: just trying to get on your level, babe Buster: Fuck off Buster: I haven't done anything Rio: Whatever Buster: Just 'cause you're that beautiful doesn't mean you can be that annoying Rio: 😂 Fuck off Buster: No you Buster: Don't whatever me when you've got something to say Rio: I already said it, I'm not gonna tell you to calm down more than once, ain't that fool Buster: Fine Rio: Chat later then Buster: Don't bother Buster: If there's nothing to say there's nothing to say Rio: Jesus Rio: Dramatic, much? Buster: So what? Buster: You'd rather I just nod along to everything, like Rio: Literally, when have I ever said that? Buster: You're saying it now if you're calling me dramatic Buster: I can react how I fucking want Rio: Do then Rio: I ain't gonna nod along either Buster: Then don't Rio: Do you even know what you're reacting to rn Rio: is my point, Buster Buster: Fuck you Buster: I'm reacting to you Rio: This is stupid Rio: We aren't having the same conversation rn Buster: So go Rio: No Rio: I'm not the one that's mad Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: I'll go then Rio: Alright Rio: Bye then Buster: 👋 Rio: Mature Buster: I ain't trying to be Rio: Good fucking job, like Buster: Yeah Rio: You know that I'm not mad at you, yeah? Buster: Alright Rio: and you know I don't know why you're mad at me so Buster: I'm not mad you just stress me out Rio: Never said I wouldn't Buster: I know Rio: Alright Buster: Fine Rio: Stop talking Buster: Rude Rio: Well I thought you were going? Rio: maybe you forgot how Buster: What's that meant to mean? Rio: That I'm helpful, not rude Rio: if you don't wanna talk to me, gotta stop typing Rio: simple Buster: I never said I don't wanna talk to you Rio: Now you're being purposefully headfucky Buster: Fuck off Buster: I am not Buster: You're the one who wanted me to leave Rio: No I never Rio: I just said I wouldn't Buster: Which means you want me to Buster: 'Cause you said this convo was bullshit Buster: We've both got better things to do, yeah? Rio: I did not Rio: I couldn't work out why you were suddenly full aggro Rio: If you like Buster: What do you want? Rio: Just go back to normal Buster: What the fuck does that mean? Rio: Babe, please Rio: just forget this convo ever happened and I will too, yeah? Buster: What like I'm such a cunt that it's gotta be erased? Buster: Fuck that Rio: Not what I said or meant Rio: I just don't reckon we're getting anywhere on this any time soon, right? Buster: On what though? What's your problem with me? Rio: You're not making any sense rn, that is literally it Rio: and I know you're wrecked so it won't matter tomorrow, okay? Buster: 'Cause you're so sober suddenly Buster: Fucking hell Rio: Am I having a go? No Rio: stop taking shit personal when it ain't Buster: Stop telling me how to behave Buster: What the fuck Rio: I give up Rio: Seriously Buster: No you don't Rio: What do you want me to say? Buster: Not that Buster: You don't get to just give up on me, like Rio: I ain't Rio: Honestly, I'm not telling you but I'm asking, please, take a breather Rio: I can call if you want Buster: How? It's mental here Rio: Just walk 'til it ain't Buster: Okay Rio: I love you Buster: I love you too Buster: I called Nance she's gonna be so mad Buster: Fix that for me Rio: Oh Christ Rio: what did you even say? Buster: She didn't answer so nothing Buster: I'm not leaving a voicemail like I'm dad Rio: Well, that's something Rio: She'll be fine, can't pretend she's never disgraced herself now Buster: She might reckon I've died Buster: Can't really send a follow up text like I'm alive Rio: I think she might call back herself if she did Rio: or at least let your 'rents know Buster: She'll be asleep though Buster: Fuck knows what time it is Rio: Don't worry, I've got you Rio: everyone's received a drunk dial, even your sister Buster: Don't tell me that Buster: I don't wanna think about cunts drunk dialing my sister Rio: Not like that Rio: probably off me, like Buster: Some of the girls were at the party Buster: The ones she hates Rio: Bit of a cheek init Rio: least Nance weren't there Buster: She should be here though Buster: School starts soon Rio: I know Rio: bit of a commute for her, babe Buster: You're an idiot Rio: Yeah Rio: You too Buster: You're so far away Buster: Everyone is Rio: Oh, babe Rio: not that far, honest Buster: Promise you're still coming here Rio: Of course I am Rio: Try and stop me Buster: I already have, like Buster: Being a prick to you Buster: Not that I was trying to stop you but Rio: Gonna say, surely you can do better than that Rio: You're just high, not holding it against you Buster: I just wanna hold you against me that's why Buster: The summer wasn't long enough Rio: Soon, baby Buster: Yeah Rio: I'm going bed, come with me? Buster: I'll have to kick everyone out first Buster: Wait for me Rio: 'Course Buster: [passage of time while he kicks the posh twats out] Buster: Are you still up? Rio: Just about Rio: 😴 Buster: You don't have to be now, baby Buster: We can sleep Rio: Good, I don't like sleeping without you Buster: I know Buster: Me either Buster: I'm gonna call and stay on the phone with you though, don't worry Rio: 💕

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: I need a fucking drink Buster: Please tell me you aren't working Rio: Be helpful if I was Rio: Barmaid, remember Buster: There's only so many times I can buy you a drink from that side though Buster: I've had a shit day, yeah, but it ain't gonna be better if I turn into that cunt drinking alone, like Rio: Never-ending supply of sad company in this gaff, babe Rio: What's up? Buster: You don't wanna hear about it Buster: I can't say her name to you, can I Rio: I mean, yeah, gonna need another barmaid if you want sympathy for your domestic Rio: Know too much to be impartial Buster: It's not sympathy I want Rio: Use it as euphemistically as you like Buster: I don't mean that either Buster: Fuck's sake Buster: I just wanna sort this out Rio: Then hadn't you better talk to her? Buster: What the fuck do you think I've been doing? Buster: Some twat was flirting with her in Coppers and I don't have a leg to stand on Buster: Same goes for her wanting to keep things going casual, with my rep what am I meant to say? Buster: No thanks you're alright Rio: Like I said Rio: Got the wrong girl Rio: You expect me to care? Buster: Are you trying to tell me you don't? Buster: Come on Buster: Just tell me what to do Rio: Yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying Rio: Sort yourself out, McKenna Rio: you're turning into a real sad act Buster: Fuck off Rio: Honestly Rio: Miss me with your boring marital woes Rio: Poor bitch is 18 and you're a cunt Rio: why would she want to be tied to you Buster: She doesn't that's what I'm saying Buster: But she won't go away either Rio: Whatever Rio: Ghost her, continue to cheat on her, what's it matter? Rio: Never struggled before Buster: Fuck me you're annoying Rio: You're stupid Rio: and full of yourself Rio: more fool her too if she wants to be treated like this much of a mug Buster: Fuck you Buster: I don't know why I bother with you Rio: Sure you don't Buster: What's that meant to mean? Rio: Whatever you want it to Buster: Bullshit Buster: Say what you wanna say and stop being such a fucking coward Rio: Me? Please Rio: You're the one that can't even dump a bitch Buster: Shut up Rio: It's pathetic Rio: You're pathetic, Buster Buster: 'Cause you're not Rio: Least I'm not dragging down whoever I can with me Buster: Just me, yeah? Rio: Piss off Rio: it's your sin as much as mine Rio: ain't my fault if you can't commit to stopping Buster: It's your fault that you can't control yourself Buster: I only have to look at you and you're on top of me Rio: Ha pot kettle first off Rio: and not like you can't say no Rio: take some responsibility for yourself and get over this pity party Rio: because I don't care Rio: you think Erin will? Good luck Buster: I told you I liked her and I wanted to stop Buster: But you can't stay away from me, can you Rio: Well, that's the downside to fucking your family Rio: better warn the others, oh wait Rio: they're not that fucked up Buster: You reckon? Buster: I've got news for you, babe, the whole lot of you are Rio: Yeah, you and Nancy are SO well adjusted Rio: Like before, you ain't got a leg to stand on so I'd quit whilst you have the smallest shred of dignity left Buster: I ain't trying to say I am Buster: You're the one chatting shit about sin and virtue like it ain't just more bullshit excuses Rio: You're sure trying to put all the blame on me Buster: I'm not gonna make it easy for you, sorry Rio: Just for yourself Rio: Don't worry, no one expects any more from you Buster: Good Rio: That it then? Buster: Depends if you've got any more bullshit you wanna pass off as wisdom, like Rio: I've got nothing to say to you Buster: Sure? Say it while you can, babe, 'cause it won't even work on Indie much longer Rio: Fuck off Rio: I'm not the one that's all alone Buster: I'm not the one who can't be Rio: Sure about that? Rio: Nah, one pitiful 'real' relationship (in which you can't even keep it in your pants) after a different girl every night and you've got it all worked out Rio: Sort your own shit before coming for mine Buster: Why wouldn't I be better off with everyone dragging me down? Buster: Sort yourself out before nobody needs you anymore Buster: 'cause fuck knows what you're gonna do then Rio: Yeah, EVERYONE ELSE is the problem Rio: not you Rio: Genius! Buster: In this family, yeah Rio: Fuck off back to London then Buster: And do what, work in bar or take my clothes off for money? Rio: Don't think you've got the personality for it, babe Rio: but feel free to try Buster: Leave that to you, trying hard enough for all of us, like Rio: You're not 12 Rio: so uncool to care Rio: done you so well Buster: Neither are you Buster: Just fucking grief for her Rio: Fuck off Rio: Then what? Get a pointless Uni degree and a vanilla man like you and my life will be so sorted Buster: Pointless for you Buster: Not my fault if you ain't smart enough to keep up, babe Rio: Gutted, like Rio: Keep pretending you've got it all figured out Rio: sure that'll keep you warm when you're miserable with your shit job and shit bird Buster: I haven't figured out anything Buster: Feel free to keep judging Rio: Yeah, no shit Rio: Your life's a fucking trainwreck and you've got the audacity to lecture me Buster: 'Cause you're pretending yours ain't Buster: Be real for a fucking second, it won't kill you Rio: With you? Rio: Why bother, Buster Rio: what's it achieved Buster: Fuck off then Buster: Don't bother chatting to me at all Rio: I won't Rio: You started this Buster: And you just had to finish it, yeah? Buster: Well done Rio: Why should you get to make all the calls Rio: I've got some fucking say whether you care to listen or not Buster: All I do is listen Buster: Try hearing yourself Rio: What use is it? Rio: All just talk, yeah Buster: What else is there? You think I wanna see you? Buster: I fucking hate you Rio: No you don't Rio: might wish you did but that feeling's fucking mutual Buster: Now who ain't listening Buster: I know you heard me Rio: You say a lot of things Buster: And I mean them Buster: Stay away from me, Rio Rio: Now who's being a coward Buster: Call it what you like Rio: Call it how I see it Rio: because you started this wanting to see me Rio: you're weak and you're a coward Buster: Shut up Buster: I can change my mind, you're not that special, babe Rio: Yeah, watch you change it back tomorrow Rio: Been here before Buster: If you really could see everything you reckon you can you'd know that I wanted to see you 'cause I was mad at Erin Buster: It's not even about you Rio: Whatever Rio: She's over you too Buster: Maybe Rio: Clearly Rio: Always playing for time, babe Rio: Won't you feel smug when Chloe is the only one who gives a damn Buster: Says you who's stringing this out 'cause you can't bear the thought of not having me in your inbox Rio: Good one Rio: Not as if you ever left Rio: Don't take up smack, like Buster: You either Buster: If I'm weak what the fuck are you? Rio: I'm not out here pretending otherwise Buster: Be a first Buster: You pretend about everything else Rio: Takes one to know one Buster: Hilarious Buster: Grow up, Cavante Rio: You first Buster: Watch me Buster: Christ, I liked you better when you were a kid, least you were real Rio: Not helping yourself with the sick comments there Rio: but go off Buster: Keep hiding behind all that bullshit, babe Buster: Getting you so far Rio: Not the one who can't stand where they're from Buster: Where am I from? Take your pick Rio: God, we're really going x factor sob story with it now? Rio: Never had a Home, don't know who I am Buster: Fuck you Buster: I've got my pick of houses too like Rio: Good for you, babe Buster: You're the one who don't know where to put me, babe Buster: Is it don't come in here with that accent and that face or is it remember where you're from? Rio: I'm tired of trying when you ain't Buster: How am I not? Rio: What's it matter now Buster: Why say it then? Buster: It obviously still matters to you Rio: Not to you Buster: What would you know? Rio: Give me a sec and I'll pick out my faves Buster: You gonna take everything as Gospel or stick to dismissing it all 'cause I 'say a lot of things' Buster: You don't get to have it both ways Rio: Just you, is it? Buster: Whatever you say Rio: Pussy Buster: Fuck you Buster: I came here 'cause I wanted to tell her about us Buster: Without a repeat of what happened with your mate connecting the dots Rio: Why didn't you just say that Buster: 'Cause you never shut up long enough to let me Rio: Shut up Rio: you managed to say plenty else just fine Buster: You started it Rio: I swear to God Rio: not in the mood boy Buster: Seriously Buster: One mention of her and you're ready to attack everything about me Rio: You can't say you expected anything else Buster: Yeah, well, if you think so little of me, why should I bother Rio: So what, I'm not full of shit now? Rio: 'cos if that's what you're saying, have it in writing Rio: consolation but a prize nonetheless Buster: You're not wrong Rio: You don't reckon you owe me specifics on that? Buster: You're really gonna make me spell it all out? Rio: If you're comfortable leaving so much room for misinterpretation that's fine Buster: Don't act like you don't know exactly what I'm saying Rio: Who knows? Buster: Rio Buster: Come on Buster: I've smashed up enough shit around me for one convo Rio: Alright, alright Rio: Can't blame me for trying Rio: well, probably could but Buster: I don't Rio: Do Rio: but it's 50/50, yeah? Rio: It's just a fucking mess Buster: Not all of it Rio: No Rio: Sometimes that's all that doesn't seem a total mess but Rio: can't be right, can it Buster: It feels like it is Rio: I know Buster: You've never felt wrong to me Buster: I'm sorry for all that shit I just said Rio: Me too Rio: I can't even contemplate thinking of all the nasty and plain wrong shit I said, never mind reading it back, fuck Rio: but I am Buster: Don't Buster: I can't go back to lying to you and pretending like I don't want you Buster: All of that went on for so long Buster: I shouldn't have been trying to start again now Rio: I can't blame you Rio: not as if I haven't Rio: and it is the technically 'right' thing to do but Rio: be lying if I said I wasn't fucking miserable Rio: or that the thought of having to pretend, forever or near enough, whatever, didn't make me wanna die Buster: Don't say that Rio: Sorry Rio: not trying to put shit on you Rio: just the truth Buster: I know but I can't do this without you Rio: Not going anywhere Rio: people still need me for now, like Buster: Yeah Buster: I need you so much Buster: I'm so fucking tired, babe Rio: I know baby Rio: Where are you? Buster: Home Buster: In the wreckage Rio: Let me come help Buster: You don't have to Buster: Not actually your fault Rio: Let's be real Rio: 50/50, easy on that one Rio: Swear, no funny business Rio: Won't even look at you Buster: What if I want you to Rio: As long as you make that really clear, reckon we're out of that grey area Rio: Are you hurt or just the house Buster: Could literally crawl on broken glass for you right now if that's clear and dramatic enough, like Buster: But you know me, never hurt Rio: Don't Rio: On both counts Rio: I'm sorry Buster: I'm sorry Buster: Come away with me instead Buster: We can just leave and leave it all behind us Rio: Can we? Buster: I don't care Buster: All that matters is how many days you can give me Rio: I don't know, doesn't really matter, shit job anyway Rio: but one I work all the fucking time so, got plenty time off Buster: I'll film you, you can make more money that you would've Rio: That's alright, don't have to Rio: you can keep up with your uni work, yeah, but what are you going to tell her? Rio: casual or not, like Buster: Just let me, yeah? Buster: I'll tell her the truth Buster: I have to get away and she's not invited Buster: She's got her own uni work to worry about Rio: Nah Rio: True, alright Rio: let's go Buster: Pack for the sun Rio: Serious? Buster: I said I'm taking you away Buster: Not the next county over Rio: Buster Rio: you're sure you're sure? Buster: Babe Buster: Of course I am Rio: Okay Rio: not to be childish but no takebacks Rio: can't leave me stranded, like Buster: I'm booking our return flight now too Buster: Together Rio: I can't wait to be just us Buster: I know Buster: Me either Buster: The flight's not until tonight but it'll be worth waiting for Rio: Don't suppose you're gonna let me give you half? Buster: Fuck that Buster: I'm not telling you where we're going yet either Rio: Boo! Buster: You'll like it Buster: I promise Rio: I'll trust you Buster: Yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: just this once Buster: You can make it a habit, like Buster: If you want Rio: You reckon? Buster: Yeah Rio: If I don't end up at Butlins, I'll think about it Buster: Give me some credit Rio: 😂 Rio: Don't knock Skeggy 'til you've tried it, babe Buster: If that's your way of saying you're gonna make me try it Buster: Don't Rio: Rude, let me unbook that... Rio: My bank balance will stretch a little further with an IOU hol, thanks you Buster: I love it when you owe me Rio: 😒 Buster: Why pout when you can pack Buster: 😂 Rio: Pack light so you have an excuse to shop whilst you're there Rio: plus someone has to sort your gaff or your parents are gonna think someone's kidnapped you Buster: Like I need an excuse to shop Buster: Pack light so there's less to take off Buster: How much do you reckon I'm worth to them in ransom demands? Rio: I mean, added bonus Rio: I'd say leave a note and see but Rio: might just be letting yourself in for a harsh wake up call there Buster: Let's be real we'd be back before they saw it Buster: I can't kidnap you for that long Rio: Sadly Rio: My 'rents just thinking I've found myself wherever the fuck we're going Rio: like Namaste, bitch Buster: Better than what they could be thinking Buster: How many rich white boys you got in your back pocket, like Buster: Make for an interesting dinner table convo Rio: Usually their fathers but Rio: don't need to cast those kinda aspersions on yours Rio: really get the crockery flying, like Buster: Don't tell me Buster: I don't wanna know Rio: 🤐 Rio: Jokes, babe Buster: I know Buster: But I hate thinking about it Rio: Sorry Rio: Don't Buster: It's not your fault Buster: It's them Buster: And me Rio: It's probably not as bad as you think, if that helps at all Buster: And I don't get to be jealous anyway, do I Rio: You can be Rio: but about as effective as mine Buster: If you wanna add hypocrite to the list of things I am, yeah Rio: Worse things to be Rio: Not done it properly for ages anyway Buster: Yeah Rio: Don't be mad Buster: I swear I ain't Buster: Not at you Rio: But I don't want you to be at all Rio: distraction time Buster: What do you want? Rio: I want you to be happy Buster: You make me feel so good, don't worry Rio: I'm going to make you feel like you've never felt, trust Rio: No one or nothing in the way Buster: Fuck Buster: I wish I'd booked an earlier flight now Rio: Patience Rio: can always kick it cliche and mile high Buster: Try and stop me Buster: I'll get us a blanket and fuck you right there, I don't care Rio: Boy Buster: I told you before, I can't help it Rio: I know Rio: but just know you're gonna be the death of me Rio: Fuck Buster: That's just the start of what I'm gonna do to you, babe Rio: I've missed you Rio: I know I saw you last night Buster: I know that don't matter Buster: 'Cause I feel it Rio: As long as you do too Rio: then that's alright Buster: I really fucking do Rio: Okay, Indie is sorted Rio: when can I come over Buster: Now Rio: Coming Buster: Good Buster: I need you here Rio: I need you Buster: I know Buster: But you can have me soon Rio: Not about to take no for an answer Buster: I'm not about to say no Rio: 💔 if you did Buster: I don't ever want to say no to you Rio: I have that affect Rio: who could say no to this face, right Buster: Christ knows I can't Rio: Don't worry, it's mutual Rio: So cute, like 😘 Buster: Don't start with that again, like Rio: You love it Rio: and that wittle face Rio: just the truth Buster: The truth is that I can't even be mad Rio: Yeah you know you cute boy Buster: I know you are Rio: Nah Rio: so 💪 me Buster: 😂 Buster: 'course you are babe Rio: 👊 gonna see Buster: You wanna play rough now, is it? Buster: Alright Rio: You needed so much convincing there, babe Buster: Can you blame me? Rio: No, you know how I like it Buster: I know how you love it Rio: Stop 😳 Buster: You get me so worked up, I'm only playing fair Rio: When we ever played fair? Buster: Trying to be so good for you now though Buster: 😇 Rio: Okay babe Rio: gonna have fun coming for your halo then Buster: You know it Rio: if i'm really nice can i have a clue where we going Buster: How nice are we talking about? Rio: Got a lot to make up for Rio: you tell me how nice i need to be Buster: I've gotta give you clues to that too? Buster: I reckon you know exactly what to do Rio: Alright Rio: Lemme unpack one of your surprises for now Buster: Fuck Buster: No way I'm arguing Rio: You ain't even seen it yet Buster: I don't need to Rio: Put it back then, shall I? Buster: You know that's not what I meant Rio: 😂 Buster: I want it everything you can give me Rio: You can have it all Rio: I've told you, it's yours Buster: Swear Rio: Cross my heart Buster: How far away are you? Rio: Not far Rio: if this thing's as hard to take off as it was to get on you're gonna be mad tho Buster: it's coming off even if I have to rip it Rio: you better not its expensive Buster: I'll replace it Rio: I got it like that, huh daddy? Buster: It's the least I can do Buster: You know I want you to have everything Rio: Such a gentleman yeah Buster: Last thing on my mind right now Rio: I'll keep that to myself Buster: Not for long, you'll be letting my neighbours in on all our secrets like Rio: If you really care, can think of a few ways you can shut me up Buster: Yeah? Buster: Tell me Rio: Well you can grab me by the throat or fuck it Rio: choice is yours, like Buster: Grabbing you anywhere just makes you louder but since the choice is mine and I don't give a fuck who hears us Rio: Glad I'm in the backseat not the driver's again Buster: And I'm glad my house is empty 'cause I'm gonna have to fuck you in every room Rio: 🤤 Rio: Gotta make tonigh come faster somehow Buster: Exactly Buster: As long as you don't Buster: I wanna take my time with you, babe Rio: Is that an order? Buster: Did it sound like one? Rio: Gonna have to be 'cos I can't make no promises Rio: Unless you let me have the first for free, you can watch Buster: Alright Buster: 'Cause I'm such a gent like Rio: Of course Rio: then I'll know you're definitely as needy as I am Buster: You don't already? Rio: Got to be sure Rio: How embarrassing to be the only desperate one, like Buster: [Sends pics] Buster: Your hero aren't I Buster: Are you sure yet? Rio: Sure I need this cabbie to step on it Rio: fucking hell, Buster Buster: You gotta stop saying my name when you aren't here Rio: Just making it up for all the times I couldn't say it Buster: Jesus, Rio Rio: Told you I missed you Buster: I already believed you, baby Rio: Maybe this time you won't forget Buster: I never did Rio: Don't leave me again okay? Buster: I won't Buster: I can't Rio: I swear I'll let you go one day Rio: just not yet Buster: Don't Rio: I know, let's not talk about it Buster: I'm telling you, don't let me go, okay? Rio: I can keep you? Buster: Nothing makes sense without you Buster: Just stay, yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: I don't want to go either Buster: Good Rio: Let me in Rio: Freezing Buster: One second