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charlietheepicwriter7 · 4 years ago

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Me: It’s fine, I’m over Umbrella Academy, I can enjoy the show like a regular person-- Brain: Plot an au where Vanya starts her own superhero team. Me, tumblr text file already open: Fuck you.

Vanya discovers her powers after running away from home in late high school and running out of pills. She can’t get a refill since her pills were created by Reginald for only her and “hey, kid, where’d you get these mysterious drugs from? I’m calling the cops.”

She spends most of her time trying to earn money by playing the violin.

She has a panic attack in an alley bc she’s out of pills and she can’t go home and oh, god, what should she do-- That blows up the alley. When the destruction is over, there’s a person standing there--a person with no identifiable gender staring at them with wide eyes. “You’re just like me,” they gasp.

This is the first of multiple OCs in this verse, provided that I work more on it. Maybe... 5 major OCs?

This particular OC is Taylor, one of the other 43 kids born October 1st, 1989, and they are a shapeshifter from France. If you follow me, you might recall they were briefly mentioned in this short post. They can shapeshift into any person, animal, or combination therefore at the cost of an extremely high metabolism.

Taylor immediately drags Vanya off to their hotel which they are staying with another one of the 43, Mason. Mason is an Empath from England. He and Taylor met online. His power allows him to both feel and manipulate other people’s emotions. He can even affect large crowds of hundreds of people.

Taylor and Mason have been scoping out the Umbrella Academy for the past week, trying to decide whether or not to approach them with the idea of joining. Mason thinks it would be irresponsible to not volunteer to help people (having grown up on “with great power comes great responsibility”. Taylor doesn’t actually care beyond preventing Mason from getting shot, but has slowly grown to like the idea.

Vanya immediately goes, “You naive idiots, here’s a million reasons why that’s a bad idea”, thoroughly explaining her backstory to boot. And then remembers that she suddenly has powers now and oh look! Another panic attack.

Mason puts a stop to that. No blowing up hotel rooms here, thank you.

But now, Mason and Taylor are up a shit creek because the only known superhero group is run by an abusive asshole and they still want to help people. And Vanya’s like, “Hey, I was basically right next to Reginald in the Umbrella Academy’s training for my entire life, I know how to train ppl to be superheroes. I can train you guys!”

And Mason goes, “Fantastic, also we should probably figure out why your literally exploding shit despite being powerless for your entire life. bc wtf man.”

Vanya: “That is a fantastic idea, also I’m having an identity crisis.” Taylor: “That’s literally my entire life, let me help.”

But all is not well in the city of Townsville, for you see, another person saw Vanya blow up an alleyway. It was... The Conductor!!

(No, it’s not jenkins, and while I haven’t read the comics, the Conductor isn’t going to be here long enough to matter).

The Conductor has been kidnapping and brainwashing musicians into joining his Orchestra of EVIL to play his Apocalypse Suite that’s totally going to end the world, guys.

(let’s just say the Conductor is lowkey psychic. Like, he knows this song is going to be the song that ends the world, but not when it happens or who plays it)

So, he was stalking Vanya, to save her from a life of homelessness by drugging and brainwashing her when he sees her blow up the alley and thinks “oh. that’s the missing piece.”

Vanya has only been training Taylor and Mason for three days or so when she gets kidnapped by the Conductor and Taylor and Mason are like “oh shit, we should probably get her back if we want our dream to become reality, also because it’s the right thing to do.”

It takes them a while to track her down, because they’re not heroes yet, and they get captured while looking for her, because they’re not heroes yet.

By this point, Vanya’s been drugged and being forced to learn the first chair part for the Apocalypse Suite, and some memories have been knocked loose. Like bby!Allison rumoring her. The dark room in the basement. And bby!Vanya killing a nanny or two. She’s very emotionally overwhelmed right now.

But she’s resisting the Conductor, who is not having it. So he threatens to kill Mason and Taylor if she doesn’t agree to play. So she does.

And She Brings Down The Building.

Vanya manages to keep herself, Taylor, and Mason alive in the destruction, but the same cannot be said about the Conductor, probably (IDK, if I decide to continue/write this, he seems like he could be a good reoccurring villain).

Vanya is very overwhelmed at this point because All she ever wanted was to be accepted by her family, to have powers like them, so the fact that her father deliberately took them away from her is devastating. Fortunately, she managed to get most of the rage out of her system by blowing up the Conductor’s building.

Mason and Taylor drag her out of there before the police show up because they blew up a building. By the time they get back to their hotel, Vanya has decided.

“Can I... can I join your superhero team? If you guys want me?”

Of course they say yes because they’ve bonded now, but Vanya is still very iffy about being on the front lines. Like, she JUST had a guy try to brainwash her into destroying the world with her powers and it was revealed that she kept killing nannies in her childhood, she’s not in a good place involving them.

But, again, she’s been next to Reginald Hargreeves for a long time. She knows about both training and leading a superhero team. So Taylor suggests she takes the head. Or perhaps... the First Chair.

Because that’s what the Conductor made her. She was to be the first chair of his Orchestra of Evil, to lead the apocalypse. It’s only right that she takes that back. Plus, as part of their job, the first chair is a leader.

And Vanya is a leader now.

Since I don’t know if I should continue this, here’s my OCs, their powers, their hero names, and their jobs on the team.

Taylor Devereux Power: Shape-shifting Hero name: The Chimera Job: Infiltrator, Tank Note: Has the world’s biggest crush on Vanya.

Mason Gaines Power: Empath Hero name: The Aura Job: Crowd Control, Can Wipe Out Large Amounts of Enemies Note: Both Taylor and Mason named themselves after Vanya’s siblings in an act of solidarity. Was the one to suggest it, along with the group name, “The Parahumans.”

Saniyah Best Power: Technopath Hero Name: Hijack Job: Hacker, Information Gather Note: Saniyah was the next to join. Discovered them through her hacking after being kidnapped to use her powers for evil. Sent an SOS, agreed to join if they rescued her.

Luiz Rocha do Amaral Power: Elemental Breath Hero Name: Drake Job: Heavy Hitter/Lancer Note: Found them on an online forum of all places and tracked them down from there. Is working on an animated cartoon of their adventures as a superhero team. Until he started training with the Parahumans, he thought his power was Fire Breath, but in truth he can breath multiple elements.

Sang-Kyu Choi Power: Shadow Manipulation Hero Name: The Shade Job: Leader on the ground, Sniper Notes: Vanya saved his life. While Sang-Kyu didn’t originally plan to be a hero, he couldn’t not repay that debt. Somehow, he ended up leading the entire team. He and Vanya are very close, almost as close as Taylor and Vanya.

Vanya Hargreeves Power: Sound Manipulation Hero Name: The First Chair Job: Team Leader, Eyes in the Sky, Trainer Notes: She cried the first time their group celebrated their mutual birthday and she got presents since she rarely got them before. Still remembers every note of the Apocalypse Suite over a decade into the future. Misses Five Hargreeves more than anything else in the world.

If you want to be added to a possible taglist, please use the replies or my ask box and make sure you call it the “parahumans au” so I can find it fast.

#Umbrella Academy #vanya hargreeves #vanya deserved better #umbrella academy ocs #hargreeves siblings #hargreeves family #parahumans au #vanya discovers her powers early #minor fiveya

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tjbcnntt · 6 years ago

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suP im back !!! hope y’all aren’t sick of me yet akldjfhld

( keith powers • twenty three • cismale ) looks like tevin “tj” bennett just moved into apartment 3C! i heard that he is here in los angeles because he needed to get away from his father but has been struggling – thankfully moreau has taken them in! rumour has it, they can be quite reticent and aggressive but at least they’re creative and charming, hey? i can already tell they’re going to be the phoenix of the building.

ok sO tj here is a new rendition on a faV muse of mine because i rlly wanted to bring bby keith here cause he foine as hell. i love this muse deaRLY and have been dreaming of developing him properly for like ... years lmao so i’m sorry if i ramble okSAsdlk

tw: mention of death and anxiety

a normal childhood could not have been further out of reach for tj. growing up, it was just him and his father — his mother sadly passed away after complications during his birth and despite reality promising it wasn’t his fault, tevin’s always had a deep-rooted guilt about it

his father never made it much easier on him either honestly. though calvin never outright blamed tevin for his beloved wife’s death, his attitude towards his son always seemed to hint towards it

tj doesn’t remember ever rlly seeing a smile on the man’s face — except in the few photos he found of his parents together, which only confirmed his beliefs that his father wasn’t the same man that he was before his wife’s passing

on top of that, nothing tj ever did seemed to be enough for the stone cold man, including pushing away his own passion for his fathers

art has always been tj’s first love. painting, drawing, writing, music, everything considered “art” tevin was sure to love. but his father never agreed with his love for watercolours and paintbrushes — instead he wanted his son to follow in his footsteps and go into the medical field

calvin had a practice in their hometown and was the most reliable family doctor in the vicinity

tevin always respected his father’s drive and passion for healing others but it was always painful for him to hear of all the people his father helped all while he neglected his own son

going into the medical field was the last thing that tevin wanted to do. the schooling, the pressure, everything that went along with the industry gave tevin shivers but as a young boy who wanted nothing more than the approval of his father, he saw no other option but to go into it

with no break or gap year after high school, tj went to the university of san fran for his bachelor of science and completed the program but lol the stress man

he developed anxiety and he jusT scraped by on most of his classes in his last year. the pressure of university alone was a lot but with his father’s constant watching over his shoulder and nagging about med school, it almost became too much for tevin

he graduated from usf at 22 with his ba in science but had no real motivation to apply to medical school. his fathER on the other hand was already eyeing the best ones and pressuring tj to do the same. it was a lot on his shoulders but tj fought through it for a while, trying to find his passion and motivation for med school but it just kept getting pushed to the side by something elSE

his fingers continued to yearn for the paintbrushes he’d packed away and ideas for sketches kept flashing across his the backs of his eyelids. his passion for art became a burning itch he couldn’t scratch and in the middle of summer, it became too much

an argument began between tj and his father after his father started pestering him about applying to med school and getting angry that he was “slacking.” tj, normally one to just bow down and hide away from confrontations with his father, exploded on his father and a fight ensued that ended with tj packing his bags and storming out of his father’s house

for several weeks, tj bounced between friends’ couches until the idea of a proper fresh start came to mind. he needed a new city, a new home, a new outlook. la came to mind almost immediately, remembering a friend of his in school talking about their time lived there, and tevin boarded the next bus to the city of angels

he found a job working at a local art gallery at the front desk and assisting with events, and picked up another job bartending to help save more money. he lived out of a cheap motel until he found moreau, its promise of a new start for struggling young adults catching tj’s eye in an online listing

SO now here he is. a starving artist working on gaining his muse back and finding his style. gallery worker by day and bartender by night. passionate, charming, and kind but incredibly reclusive and sheltered after a childhood lacking support and encouragement. he’s strong-willed and is willing to fight for what he wants but his fear of rejection and short temper often get in the way

as for connections?? i honestly want anything adjkh

i’d love some connections from sanfran if some ppl are from there / the area

ppl he met during his time in the motel here? patrons at the club he works at, maybe a one night stand or something, a cute friendship from the art gallery??

tj also dances and works out a lot to expel his restless energy so someone from that

a mUSE pls or eve n multiple skjd

total bros ofc

flirtationship / crush/ anything cute like that

asdjkh i mean, tev’s new here so we can literally just start rigHt from the first meeting ya KNOW

#moreauintro #( ooc. )

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fartonexit · 4 years ago

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A letter for my mother to find.

I'm not spending time writing this out like I thought I would. I'm not walking you through every little step, checking paths are clear to be read, because they aren't, and I'm not taking every precaution to hide myself anymore because honestly if I keep doing that I really am going to kill myself.

I came out as trans last year after many many years of it burning and smoldering for any form of attention. I ignored it, in fact I even have a place in my brain that I visualized physically throwing myself into to keep myself quiet. Anything, everything to just not be found out, not be seen or heard, everyone go away I'm going to go hate myself.

You want to point to developmental cycles. Ok. Why do you think I stopped eating in a group at dinner? Did you know I would talk to myself in the barn at night to keep all the anxiety down and just blow off steam for an hour and a half straight? And you never questioned why it looked like I has half paying attention in some areas and trying hard in others....

In middle school I was already thinking about this. In fact, it has been on my mind for so long, I'm not sure it's never not been there. There was no cause, no big explosion of coom and suddenly I wanted to be a sex object or something. Double up, middle school was hell and I can't remember any of it except doing math at home and breaking my DS. That's basically all I remember of those 3 years. 'cept one thing.

I got asked by a chick in 6th grade to go out with her, well maybe 7th actually, and I froze and turned them down. Not because of the ASD shit, mind you, but because I'd been staring at Tyler Roth's bulge for 2 hours squirming in my chair. If a girl asks me out and I'm doing that right beforehand, and in fact get up to use the bathroom to clean up, you think I'm gunna say yes to the girl?

That's fucking stupid. No.

At least at the time to me it was.

Now I am more open about myself. I care more for personality than body, so sex doesn't matter unless it's a group effort (haha). I am definitely pansexual, there's no doubts there. Poly even, but I'm not sharing any of that with you. That's all the info you get.

If you can't tell from the title, I'm kinda trans kinda not. Non-Binary is the correct term, and I'm a little jazzed that I'm over my bullshit about it. I never said anything or made it obvious because of bad reactions from you and dad about me being gay, or other gay ppl, so like honestly why would I ever have said anything when I don't trust you?

This is also the origin of my trust issues.

In college, actually no, in high school I heard the term for the first time, in college, learning more and more about what trans ppl go through and nb people go thru, I locked myself in my room for 2 weeks and only came out for dinner. I almost committed suicide off of AB after that period because I couldn't handle it and it hadn't matched anything that I had known before. It's something I've actually wanted to talk to you about for years, and when I try to bring it up you scream at me and run away like I've ruined your whole life in some 80's teenager movie. You won't even hear my side of it.

There's obviously a lot for us to talk about, and I'll let you come up with your own questions. I'll make a lil' faq

1: Are you male or female?

A:. I'm always going to acknowledge my birth. I'm never going to not acknowledge what I went thru, the good or the bad, or that I ever had a penis.

Male in origin, but in-between. Genderfluid is the correct term. Maybe intersex as well, as that's how I see myself. I notice when I eat more estrogen enriching foods, my mood balances out. I've been eating more E rich foods lately (seeds, dry fruit, oat bran in the morning) and I've honestly never felt more.... Normal.

2: If it's fluid, what the hell do I call you?

A: Well it's not like you'll make me explode at you if you straight up call me he and I'm in a dress, more I'll be watching the ppl around you staring at you calling me a he.

My pronouns are hi / shi / him / hir / they / them, and honestly my rule is call what you see. The I is there for... Well, intersex. Male or female presenting.

So again, call what you see. I do get mad though, especially if I worked really hard to make a banger of an outfit. Honestly, so glad you don't know my style either... If I'm obviously trying, respect that. I don't always though, only on special occasions.

3: What about your name then? It's effeminate.

A: I'm effeminate, what's your point. Hell if you want a bullshit term to look into look up genderfaun. Within genderfluidity there can be limits, which ppl of course have denoted how people will denote it. Genderfaun basically means cboy. A male embodied person never quite unclasping on full effeminacy.

4: How have I never heard of this?

A: Same reason women's issues are more vocalized to men's issues. Same reason why I'm expected to be the one running the construction site and my partner is supposed to be my loving little wife. Cboy's, intersex ppl in general rly, don't really have a need to be found out. And quite rare, actually. Honestly, Nonbinary is what can go on a paper and what is legally applicable, so that's the 'umbrella' term, if you need one.

5: So what makes you a cboy then?

A: years of undeserved anguish, hating my body, not wanting breasts, wanting to give birth, my dick feeling out of place or straight up like a tumor on my life, relationships being hard to start and even harder to keep literally because of sex, crying after being made the top for sex, having to top at all, expectations beset by other's that I don't get a voice in, not getting a voice in general and not being in any spot of authority or passed by the same or opposite sex in both education and normal social life, oh and also every time I see a picture of a cboy I'm happy, not horny.

6: Why that term? Rather harsh

A: I agree. If there was a better term that was as equally descriptive I'd go for it. I don't think intersex male is quite applicable tho, nor does genderfluid work on a job app., Tho neither does cb. It started as a term in porn but people have taken it as their own, me included.

Again describe it in one word that isn't confusing (transfeminine for example, genderfaun for another) and get back to me when you figure it out.

7: Possibility A - you're crazy

A: That'd be cool if I was crazy actually, then I'd actually fucking feel normal. Like I had a normal problem. Like I was being treated like I should be in society. Sadly enough I've talked to multiple shrinks, other trans and nb people, other cboys, and pretty much everyone agrees my living situation was really fucked up, as we're the expectations beset upon me. Not always, and I'm not just spraying buckshot over my whole life, but there's some stuff we REALLY need to talk about.

I've actually made it my life mission for the last 10 plus years to find someone like me being interviewed. I have had the hardest time too because I beat myself up about it so often, unless I tripped over a podcast episode (like I actually did) I'd never find anything and just think I was schizophrenic or something. Hell for a while you had convinced me I was because of stuff you were doing and talking about, and like bloody usual, not letting go of or shutting up about for months.

Literally half the reason I moved in to where I am was to checksum myself. I am definitely not schizophrenic and absolutely have a panic and anxiety disorder.

Possibility B - ok I'll bite, who else is there?

A: here's the podcast that made me feel safe. We're not 100% similar, but a lot of what he is saying I get. And while he lives in cali, stuff your biases. He moved here from japan when he was 12 or something.

https://www.furwhatitsworth.com/?episode=s9-episode-3-nb-nb-nb

This is not the only podcast I've listened to, but it's the best perspective I've heard. And I can say for solid, to this day, I get exactly everything he is talking about. Every single thing.

8: Ok, so what about your name (should you be on board)

A: Thats hard for me. I know I came with Ari and then tried Faun, but Faun is more a nickname for me from somebody and I liked the sound. I still like the name a lot too. But my name is Aremis, it's been Aremis, I'm going to move on and stop thinking about that one so hard.

9: Why not keep your old name? I'm offended you don't have my father's name anymore.

A: ok good for you for inscribing your bullshit onto someone before they can even he a say, as usual.

My dead name literally hurts. I've tried to explain to you, you ignored me.

That's all you get. Deal with it.

10: I'm not sure I'm ok with this.

A: Neither am I but I'd be dead right now from jumping under a semi in traffic a few months back if I hadn't. This isn't a mistake, or anything you did to me. It's just how I am. Now I know why you want the new DSM so bad.

By the way, dsm backs me up. So if god is gunna have to say something because of your convictions, I'll walk.

Peace. I'm done pooping now, time to get off the toilet.

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katedanielss · 5 years ago

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okay so like, as someone who literally works in the pet supply industry? 90% of this is completely untrue. and i’m saying this as someone who isn’t really even a fan of blue buffalo as a company or brand.

i can pretty much guarantee that, at least in terms of the original tweet, there was a small puncture in the bag that allowed moisture in, which is where the mold came from. this can happen at any point in travel from the plants to the stores to the home-- even the tiniest puncture in the packaging can allow moisture in. obviously i can’t say for sure when this happened, but i really, really doubt the mold was in the bag when it was sealed in the factory.

blue is one of the few companies who has their own manufacturing plant, at least for their dry food. (owning your own cannery takes a lot of money and a lot of work, so the majority of companies have their canned or wet food manufactured in the same plants; this is why, when there are issues with safety concerns in the plants, it’s usually not just one brand that’s recalled, but several of them.) what this means is that blue does literally all of the processing for their dry kibbles in one location. they are also incredibly careful in their processing. factories are tested for contaminants regularly.

i hear ppl say all the time that blue has had a ton of recalls, but again-- i literally work in this industry, and have for years. they have sporadic voluntary recalls, due entirely to packaging concerns: nutritional information that was misprinted on various manufacturing dates, spelling errors that weren’t caught in proofreading, etc. once they recalled a new product they’d recently released because the adhesive wasn’t holding, and the plastic seals were literally exploding off the product on the shelves.

the only time they have recalled product because of health or safety concerns was voluntary, and it was because testing found trace amounts of salmonella on a ceiling fan. it should be noted that this was in their shared cannery, and they were the only company who recalled product, even though there were three or four others companies who were canning food the same time that day. they did it voluntarily, because they did not want to allow the risk of contaminants in their food.

the concerns about toxic levels of lead contaminants? almost entirely fabricated, with literally no sources besides one single pet owner who """tested it themselves""", with a clear bias, and no actual scientific or nutrition background to base their findings on.

also, they didn’t rebrand to blue wilderness, which even a quick google search would tell you if you bothered to look beyond your own nose. the vast majority of pet food companies have multiple lines of the same brand, which focus on different dietary needs. blue buffalo has several different lines, which again, is normal practice in the industry. blue buffalo life protection is their main formula, which is what the original tweet was about. blue wilderness is their grain free high protein line. they’ve got others, too: blue basics, which is limited ingredient for dogs with sensitive stomachs or food allergies; blue freedom, which is the grain-free version of their life protection formula; and a new one, blue carnivora, a new high-protein line they based around industry-leading orijen and acana foods, which are rich in organs and cartilege, etc.

one last thing i’d like to touch on: the concerns about dangerously high levels of vitamin D? the only brand i’ve heard of recently who’s had major recalls for that was hill’s, and it spanned both their prescription foods -- recommended by probably 80% of veterinarians, so suck on that for a minute or two -- and science diet, also one of the four non-prescription brands most frequently recommended by veterinarians. hill’s is also the company behind most of the research which has led to the current grain-free dog food scare, which i’m not gonna go into too much detail about here but has been incredibly fucking frustrating and also, like, super fucking shady, since a. this is not a problem in europe, where the majority of dog foods are grain-free, and b. literally all of the science is very sloppy and funded by the three major companies who have been seeing a decline in sales since grain-free diets became more popular. but again, that’s a different story.

to the person who commented on the horror with which their vets responded to the revelation they were feeding their cats blue buffalo: vets get virtually no nutrition training, except what they’re provided by hill’s or royal canin (which are the two brands that vets recommend most, and which it should be noted they often get commission for recommending), and know almost nothing about other brands. people who work in pet supply stores literally get more nutrition training than your veterinarian does, and that nutritional training is not biased. i’m sorry your cat died while you were feeding them blue buffalo, i truly am. but it’s not because blue kills pets. it’s just because it wasn’t the right food for your cat.

and the reason pets get diarrhea while eating blue buffalo for the first time is because it’s a high-protein diet, and people never fucking transition their food when they switch to it. this will happen with virtually any food, because pets’ stomachs are very sensitive, and different recipes can upset them. you should always transition slowly from old food to new food over the course of 7-10 days, slowly decreasing the amount of the original food you were feeding and increasing the food you’ve switched to. this is basic pet nutrition knowledge, which even ppl who don’t work at a goddamn veterinarian’s office don’t always know, because they don’t get any nutritional training. adding dietary supplements like sweet potato or pumpkin during the transitional period can also make the switch easier on the belly. if your pet has a sensitive stomach, or has kidney issues, blue probably isn’t the best food for them! but that’s not because it’s a bad food. it’s just too high in protein for your pet. some pets do really well on it, and some don’t! the same can be said for literally any brand.

so again: i’m not the biggest fan of blue buffalo. of the foods we sell in my store, they’re one of my least-recommended. but it’s not because the food is bad. i just don’t personally care for it, and i don’t feed it to my cat. but seeing people tout it as like the spawn of satan is incredibly frustrating, because it's invariably based on scare mongering and misinformation, because ppl read something on the internet and fucking panic.

PLEASE BE CAREFUL FOR ANYONE WHO USES “BLUEBUFFALO” FOR THEIR DOGS!!

#i almost skipped past this but five pages later i literally couldn't stop thinking about it #so #animal welfare

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love-actually-is-allaround · 8 years ago

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Sometimes you just gotta vent

I am so unbelievably frustrated with my best friend right now. Obviously I adore her, but that doesn't mean she isn't selfish AF sometimes, and this isn't even for my benefit it's for her poor boyfriend's. So Brianne and Kyle have been going out for 6 years, a long time yes, but unsure if this includes the month or so they broke up in their second year because Brianne doesn't like to think about that because it doesn't fit in with her fairytale romance, yes that's my girl. Keep in mind they are both older than me (Kyle just turned 30 and she'll be 26 in a few weeks), but ya...they've been together long enough that Kyle has started saving for a ring. Now obviously I know this because I'm the best friend and kind of Kyle's only friend in like a 30 mile radius, but did I find out from him telling me? Nope...I found out cuz my crazy best friend has already found his money envelope multiple times and has clearly counted the money because a few months ago he reached about a grand in savings. N mind you they live together on their own, so this is money he's been saving while paying for his half of the rent, his car bills, his debt, fun stuff for them to do, and whatever other amenities they need. And he'd only been saving for a month or so, so yeah, he was proud. What does my beautiful, spoiled best friend do? She picks up the envelope and goes, "Honey, I'm so proud. You're about a 4th of the way there!" Good. Freaking. Lord. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those girls who's all "NO DIAMONDS, GIVE ME A TWIG WOVEN INTO A BAND N ILL BE HAPPY" like no. It's supposed to symbolize your love, you're supposed to wear it forever, and you want it to last and be good quality. So yes, it should be probs the nicest ring you own, but this is not what you say to your BF who's been busting his ass off. First of all, it shouldn't be anywhere that she can count it (I yelled at him about that) but honestly Brianne's kinda crazy n if really it's in their place she probably would have found it. But oh lord, so this sets them off into a fight cuz he's like "wtf how much do u want me to spend?!" And she's all "do you think I'm not worth that money?!" Uuugggghhhhhh. I've gotten this from both sides now and as per usual, it's a simple miscommunication as are like 96% of normal couple fights, and so naturally they both freak out to me and I have to calm them down and translate what the other person means. I placate them, brianne agrees to stop harping and Kyle continues to save. But it gets worse when she hangs with her mom. Again, I freaking LOVE Brianne's mom, but she like Brianne seem to have this whole "more money = love" mentality which is super fucked up. They start looking at potential rings to get an idea of what she'd want, fair. She also discusses how they have a family friend that can get them better quality rings for cheaper prices, awesome. But then when she comes home from that convo the price for the ring is now 5 grand and to make matters worse, a month later, Kyle texted me today to say now it's 6 grand. What the actual fuck?!? So I will talk to her about this and tell her to back the fuck off, cuz here's the thing: she never needs to know nor should she ever know the god damn price of her ring. Why does it freaking matter?!?!! If it's what she wants and what Kyle wants and it's gonna last however long, WHY DOES THE PRICE MATTER?! And here's where my best friend makes me wanna rip my hair out. In her head, that money = love thing, is real. She's so much about labels and I don't get why. I was shopping for her birthday today but I'm low on funds so I looked around charming Charlie's and target thinking "maybe I could get her a cute dress or nice shirts for work". But then I think, when have I ever seen her wear any of the clothes or accessories I've bought her? The answer: never, unless it's a label. It's sad that it's her mind set, but it seems to be. Idk who the fuck she's trying to impress, but it seems to be rubbing off on her poor boyfriend and I'm frustrated. This is not the way for them to start off a marriage and I cannot be there to couples counsel them every step of the way. An engagement ring is supposed to symbolize a promise to be together forever, a symbol of your love and devotion to one another, not a way to wave your hand around and be like "look how fucking loaded my boyfriend is!!!" I've legit heard her say stuff like "your ring / wedding are going to be so much better than mine" LIKE WHAT?! I'm no where near to that level! No one has ever liked me enough to be with me that long!! I haven't fucking been on a date since high school!!! Why would you compare a 6 year theoretically good relationship to my pathetic lack there of love life?! Clearly she's insecure, but I don't like why. Kyle has his faults, for sure, but he loves the crap out of her...he wouldn't have stuck with her for so long if he didn't. But fighting over how expensive a ring is doesn't bode well at all. What are you going to do when it's a house? Or kids??? This fundamental lack of understanding and communication within a relationship can doom it. Now they are not the kind of ppl who'll walk away, they're more the sweep our problems under the rug and complain to others kind of people. But that's worse!!! Those feelings can only bottle and fester until they explode and no one wants to be there when that happens, I just hope they grow the fuck up and actually have adult conversations and try to hear each other out and fix it. I just wish she knew how freaking good she has it. I'd give anything for some fucking affection. Like I don't need 5 or 6 grand anything, I'd just like a kind, fun boy to go do stuff with and really just snuggle up. I'm so fucking lonely it's not even funny! I have fantasies about fictional characters cause that's all I've got. The last real life boy I had a semi crush on is gay as the Fourth of July. So really, I just wish people would stfu and be grateful. I try to, but then I gotta deal with this. I'm exhausted and need to get up for work tomorrow, but this is the bullshit that is plaguing me. Le sigh, maybe one day she'll listen to me. Sorry for the rant, needed to happen.

#vent #best friend problems #selfish #sorry for the tldr #frustrated #sorry I haven't posted in like 80 years #I'm so boring

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britishb3atlemania · 5 years ago

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imagine being in a relationship for 4.5 yrs and u open it in the last yr bc long distance happened but its still good it still works but ur sig other gets jealous abt this one person u thought was cute even tho all other hook ups/dates we each had with diff ppl have been fine and ur like ok lol? and then they immediately go on a date wit a new person and apologize abt them getting jealous but then u notice they made playlists for each other and u have a bad feelie abt it and ur sig other just keeps telling u u shouldnt feel threatened and its all good and ure their #1 forever (bc that was ur one rule when u opened relationship) but u still feel weird and they fly to visit u after months and theyre texting the other person the whole time and the other person sends them good morning texts and shit and u finally explode so yall have a serious talk where they tell u u cant be their #1 anymore bc bla bla and u like lol break up with me if u want then and they like omg no im so in lov with u and ure like i am with u too aaa and they say its all purely casual wit other person and u feel liek u overreacted and so now its like lol stop being jealous just gt over it but nah they go back home and a week later they hang with the person and u feel poop for 2 weeks until u finally ask them over the phone if theyre still in lov with u and its quiet and u say lol this is done and they sad and say they had doubts abt being in lov with u for mayhaps even a year now so lol u essentially been living a lie for a year and u ask them if they lov the other person and they say yes they in faCT told them that last week (so a week after they flew to see u and reassured u they are casual) and so lol at ur gut feeling being right bc fuk them for trying to make u feel like u were being paranoid and overreacting and jealous and like lmao so u want me to believe u ~fell in love~ in a week bc nah fam lmfao and ur heart is broken into millions of tiny shards and u nvr been thru a breakup btw and they text u the next day while u at work saying some bullshit that apparently is all true and they mean abt how they still love u they just not in love with u and they miss u and they need u in their life they BEG u to stay bc they be lost in the world and they want to talk to u every day and b there for u but lol its all a lie and after days of them ignoring u when u rlly needa talk abt something bc they been busy or wtvr but they also been hanging wit new person and new person has been going crazy on socials putting their relationship with ur now ex on blast they finally call u but theyre now hostile and aggressive and when u say u been feeling like absolute shit they interrupt u mid sentence to say “yeah bc of me because i hurt you wow i get it you dont have to tell me every time i dont have to do this yknow” like lmfao arent u the one that insisted on talking to me every day and being there for me and calling me multiple times the first 3 days post break up even tho im working like mayb dont fucking tell me bs if u cant back it up lmfao and yknow just like i lot yall and they get petty abt ur friends unfollowing them like lol glad to know thats a huge deal to u bc i feel suicidal af again after 6 yrs so fuk u and u tell em it just cruel to see them post all this shit with new person and they make u feel bad and question ur word choice of “cruel” and they say they been feeling manipulated and theyre not responsible for other ppls feelings but like fuk mans it just sucks that they cant even begin to understand how heartbroken u feel yknow bc after all this u thik less of them for sure but u also are still so in love so fucking in love and it hurts so bad to see the other person front and center at ur exes shows and wearing their clothes and showing them music u tried to shwo ur ex that they didnt give u the time of day for and it just rlly fucking sucks to visibly see urself being replaced and they just dont bother to empathize in the slightest that 4.5 yrs just end like that and they get to immediately have someone else despite them lying to u for a year and being too scared to admit anything and ure the one that ends up lonely and isolated and wanting to die so fuckcigngignging badddddddd fuck

and u say u need a break from them on socials and need to mute/block em and they say “wow” and act like ur being immature at first but ure like lmao i just wanna make sure i dont actually kill myself thnx and u feel good abt saying this and cutting ties for time being but then all it takes is accidentally seeing a pic of them and their new binch again for u to wanna !!! so bad fuckckcigng christ fucKCKCK!!

like yall lmao love is fake and ive been dooped and its so cruel to just have it rubbed all over my face lmao i dont deserve that i know im not perfect but i dont deserve this

#suicide tw #just venting im just rlly sad and alone and needed to write thoughts somewhere

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survivorathena-allstars · 7 years ago

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Episode #11: “I Love a Good Heist” ~ Will

It fucking worked and I want to redact everything bad I just said.

i'm none of them saying anything to me yet and I'm also me not seeing this coming when Will was all of a sudden not in favor of the telling duncan to idol plan lmaoooo gg

is no one going to message me!! i am so freaking upset right now and i kinda just want to explode but really no one is going to try to justify themselves to me, i'm a little disappointed tbh and i got to learn how to win a fucking immunity for once

AMANDA AND HER MOTHER ARE ICONS I JUST GOT MY SECOND IDOL, I DO NOT DESERVE THIS

I'm so mad right now I want to SCREAM, why the HECK did I get that many votes, something isn't adding up and I'm just so frustrated. Also who made me the glee parchment, if you're reading this TELL ME it was the only thing good about tonight I am really just SO DONE WITH ALL THESE SNAKES. I'm being so extra right now but these people make me want to throw my laptop into the road.

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Cameron told Emily to vote Duncan :) We love a snake within our alliance :) I love a good heist :)

emily is a queen again btw, I love her

i don't know why i'm so salty

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HOLY CRAP WE DID THAT! Duncan didn't play his idol and I'm literally crying. We killed one of the biggest threats in the game. And I was behind it. What. the. fuck.

fskhjf god the lady at the dining hall asked me how i was and on the outside i was like "good" but on the inside im like "playing virtual editions ofr trash reality shows on the internet with strangers I have never met has left me feeling like i want to cry bc ppl lied to me have u ever been lied to how did u get over it and also can i please have some chicken nuggets" jesus and then someone talked to me and i didnt know how to respond bc i was having an EPISODE in the dining hall it's fine this is fine ________________________________________________________________ let the ass kissing begin

I'm gonna confess tomorrow, but I have become aware.... of some shady stuff, and am now in a really good spot... or at least I think I am

OH MY GAWD NO IDOL PLAY. ARE YOU MCFUCKIN KIDDING ME!? I dont want to say that I am large in part why Duncan is @ Ponderosa right now BUT WIG WOW IS THIS THE BIGGEST MOVE IVE EVER MADE IN A GAME OR WHAT. ALSO i'm here for weasel discourse: [1/11/18, 10:48:07 PM] Dana Barry: because clearly we both bein sneaky weasels [1/11/18, 10:48:54 PM] Owen (Crossroads Host): kfashj who the bigger weasel [1/11/18, 10:49:01 PM] Dana Barry: OWEN PLEASE [1/11/18, 10:49:12 PM] Dana Barry: LETS NOT COMPARE WEASEL SIZES [1/11/18, 10:49:15 PM] Owen (Crossroads Host): OMFG [1/11/18, 11:12:14 PM] Owen (Crossroads Host): I’m gonna go eat now I’ll be back later [1/11/18, 11:31:53 PM] Dana Barry: pls eat my weasel friend ________________________________________________________________ https://vine.co/v/hWVwWE6UFqa/embed/simple Me when the people of this game give my dumb ass power and I crave more because I'm a goblin.

This was recorded before the vote im SORRY im a flop

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It's time to strike at Owen. He's onto us. We're making big moves left and right, and he knows that we're going to get targeted as threats soon if we're not careful. He said we have to get rid of Ruthie and Kevin, otherwise people are going to start thinking about taking them to the end. Of course, that's my plan. I think I want to sit with Ruthie and Ali/Dana at the end. Will, Emily, or Owen would surely beat me. I'm here, masterminding moves, deciding whether or not someone easy goes home, and someone is going to target me soon. My idol can only save me for one round, and I need to make sure it's a good one. Lily was a good move. Duncan was a better move. Owen could potentially be the best move. Then I know my core four is completely loyal to me and only me. This is my ideal boot list now: Owen (10th) Ashvika (9th) Kevin (8th) Zach (7th) Emily (6th) Will (5th) Dana (4th) And then a final three of Ruthie (3rd), Ali (2nd), and myself (1st!) That's all. Love you. It's time for me to go focus on winning again.

Boy I'm mad. Duncan was the one person who I could put some trust in--and even then there wasn't much--and now he's dead. Now I feel like my game's already gone through the gutter and there's no hope left. Shoutout to Ali and Cameron specifically for both telling me "Oh yeah I'm sorry for not keeping you in the loop at the first vote, I promise I'll do it this time?" Then, what did they do? Not that. I'm...mediocrely okay with Ali because like Ali's nice and a sweetheart (actually I'm kinda mad at Ali because I pm'd him asking what happened like immediately after tribal and he never responded even though he's talked multiple times in the tribe chat...wig). But Cameron??? This is the third time. We've voted together once, at the Madison tribal, even though you've told me multiple times you want to work with me. I was okay with being 'left in the dark' with the Lily vote because I wasn't actually in the dark. I feel like this was a chance for him to prove his word to me, that you do want to work with me. This was the chance to make or break my trust. And both times I've come to him before the vote and he's basically said 'oh yeah it's still this way like we said haha.' And then??? It isn't lmao. Like if you don't want to work with me, cool! I understand that the game rolls out that way! But don't come to me with fake promises then, saying you want to work with me, only to actually vote with me 3/4 times. At some point no amount of apologies will make up for your actions. I don't know if I've reached that breaking point, but it's getting close. I get that I started the merge on the wrong foot, and that I should've voted Lily instead and sticking with Ruthie was a mistake. I know I got myself into this mess but I'm just annoyed and frustrated. I've been perfectly honest with everyone about who I'm voting for each round, and I get silence and vague responses in return. If I feel mad enough tomorrow I might try going for Cameron since he has an idol. Or at least like throwing his name around and spilling that fact. But who knows who knows he has an idol though. If it works, it works. If it doesn't, I might get home which I honestly wouldn't be super upset at this point and I would get to be a bitter juror too!

I love Dana

I am an Owen stan again too, I love him. I need to confess more, because it might be big move season this round, but I also don't knowwwwwww. AHH, I hate this yikes. I just get scared by Dana/Will/Cameron as a grouping, with Zach and Ruthie is already 5, which is scary

i have realized i'm quite irrelevant in this game and basically out of the loop without duncan because all these supposed idols that everyone has keep popping up left and right. i feel like my time is coming soon

"Who do you trust the least" "Who is most likely to flip on their alliance" "Who is ruining their own game" "Who is at the bottom but doesn't know it" "Who is going to go home for being the biggest threat" "Who is going to be blindsided by their alliance" literally they wish they were as relevant as me huh ________________________________________________________________ Actually though, I am going to make sure every one of these comes true. Let's see here.... "Who do you trust the least" "Who is most likely to flip on their alliance" "Who is ruining their own game" "Who is at the bottom but doesn't know it" "Who is going to go home for being the biggest threat" "Who is going to be blindsided by their alliance" Flipping on my alliance? Easy. If they insist, that's what I'll do. I will reallllly make it clear that they were right in trusting me the least :) And! They'd better hope! They take me out! For being a "threat" because if they do NOT, I am going to make sure each and everyone one of them is GONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They better not feel comfortable for even one second bc if there's one good thing to come out of this, it's that I no longer feel comfortable at all and hopefully me playing on edge will end up better for me. I just had an hour long call with Ali and we basically like....discussed everything. I don't know if I can trust him, but I sure as hell can't trust my alliance to take me to the end, so what have I got to lose? I told him I know about his idol, which I think was a move to hopefully get him to open up to me. And he told me that the merge idol has been taken from the shore. I'm assuming Emily, Ashvika, Cameron, or Ruthie have it bc they searched there before Ali. Ashvika I straight up asked and she said no.... I have a bad feeling Cameron is sitting on two idols rn and I don't know if I can handle it. But I was like.... idk I said a lot of things to Ali and I meant them. He said he felt like he didnt have a number one, and I told him we could be there for each other. He has a spot in my final three now whether he believes it or not and I would gladly sit at the end with him at this point. But we need numbers and we need a play. It feels so soon to try to flip on will dana Cameron but like..... If we wait until next vote to idol someone out, and Ruthie/Zach are glued to them, then at final 8 it would be four on each side (assuming I can get emily and ashvika to be with ali and I, and Kevin leaves at 10 which idek if it is happening). So that makes me think like....okay so maybe a move needs to happen at 10 that puts Kevin, Emily, Ali, Ashvika and I in a majority? But it's so fricking risky bc idk if they're going to come after me or come after Kevin or Emily or....idk. It's going to be rough as hell. But I'm ready. I don't know if I'm going to win this season, but I sure am going to try my hardest to change it. ________________________________________________________________ (On the other hand I love Dana, Wil, Cameron, and Zach as people so idk I'm stressin mad rn.)

Here's my long confessional like always explaining the events of last round and then the progress for this current round. So last round was just a mess. I brought up to Dana the night of immunity results (congrats Will you freak) that Duncan is a threat. He has an immunity idol and a hideout advantage, if we don't do it at 11, he'll be free till technically final 8 without being targeted. In addition, it limits our options down the line. Dana agreed and said it wasn't bad, and ended up running to people with this idea without crediting me. Grrr. It's fine. Dana, Will, Cameron all excluded Owen in this plan and I believe think they orchestrated it themselves when in reality it was kind of my idea but they pushed it forward so it's whatever. I called Emily in panic because I didn't want to exclude her and little do I know that Cameron already informed her of the decision before I finalized mine. In the end, Duncan leaves 8-3. Post-vote, I am trying to reestablish any trust I have with Ashvika. I can sense she doesn't trust me which is completely reasonable and fine, but I am wanting to work with her. Kevin is irrelevant but I want to talk to him and form a good connection with him. Now, this vote. Cameron was my target. Will talked about how he wanted Cameron out to Dana who obviously relayed that information to me, and I think Owen was fine with doing it too. I am also trying to formulate connections with Owen despite the fact that he knows I blatantly lied about the Duncan vote and all. However, Cameron won immunity, so good job to him. This means that my target probably shifts to one of two people. First is Kevin. He's kind of an easy vote, a person who wasn't really around and is definitely the most inactive. If we need an easy tribal, it's him. Ruthie's another easy vote but right now is not her time and I genuinely love her, but I do enjoy everyone so I can't use that. I'm not sure how likely this option is. I think I could get it rolling if need be. My second is Ali. This is just because recently i've felt really distant with him. I think I can trust him, yeah, but from what I know Owen is fine with him leaving and it's like... yeah. I think Ali should go relatively soon. If the votes are on him i'm most definitely going to vote him out unless i'm frightened of an idol play. I am honestly kind of scared of the alliance consisting of Cameron/Will/Owen/Dana + Ali. It's like... they're turning on each other briefly. Cameron is rubbing people the wrong way, which I love him and all truthfully, but he is kind of aggressive with dominating votes and spearheading decisions, which I think is ending up biting him in the ass. I truly think he'll be one of the next couple of votes. Ali is like the alliance's +1 so if they can vote him out, i'm down with that too. Ashvika, Emily, Ruthie, and Kevin are kind of on the outs of that alliance (with me of course) but more distant than myself. I need to utilize those bonds to kind of renege the major alliance cause I don't feel like being cut near the end. No ma'am. So having Ali leave this vote, then Cameron next vote, followed by Kevin leaves a final 7 of Ashvika/Ruthie/Owen/Zach/Dana/Will/Emily. In this scenario it's like... it gets hard. I want to work with Emily, but there are so many people here that are such strong contenders. Owen, Dana, Will and Emily are all phenomenal players, and i'd love to consider myself amongst those people too (PARTICULARLY IN THIS GAME! NOTICE THAT I LOVE THEM ALL AND THINK THEY'RE ALL GREAT BUT IN THIS SPECIFIC GAME THAT'S MY VIEW ON STANDINGS). I don't want to be goated, which I potentially could be since i'm acting weird and dull this game, so maybe I could swap Kevin in the final seven and drop another big threat, like Ashvika or Owen. The people who I trust the most right now are Dana and Emily. I trust Owen to an extent, and I really like talking to him. Ashvika and Kevin and Ruthie are just meh, I don't trust them. Cameron is to a degree but he's sketchy. Will is just... ugh MSDGLKDSG I love him I think he's so funny but he probably hates me. Ali is trustworthy but I feel like that's relative amongst all. I really don't know who i'd like to sit against in the final three (or two but likely three). I've reached my goal of jury and 100 days so i'm content, but I want to win. I think my best chances would be against Ruthie and Kevin, but I don't know. Dana needs to go soon too. Like, maybe final 4-7 is when i'd love to see her leave because I bet everyone views me as her bitch and sure, I kind of am at the moment, but that's partially strategy. Everyone thinks i'm her +1 so to those that like her, i'm safe. They know they can use me. Then to others, i'm the weaker of the two and therefore they have no valid reason to target me unless they want to weaken her, in which case bye bye. This game is so complicated and votes are NEVER decided until last minute which is bothersome but kind of fun. I think I have a high chance of leaving at this upcoming tribal truly, or at least receiving votes, so i'm excited to see what's to come. Hopefully i'm still here but if now, it's been a great season and i'm glad I got the chance to return and hopefully make y'alls slightly proud wooh!

Okay lots to confess I wish I confessed earlier in the round so I wouldn't have so much to recount. So anyways, the Duncan vote happens, and it still makes me sad. I will never understand why he felt so betrayed by me and kinda continued to throw my name out there because I wanted to go far with him. Also I called with Emily after the vote and I already knew at this point she leaked me idol (which Emily *why*). I dont understand why everyone felt so betrayed by me, when I was trying to loop everyone in? It doesn't make any sense. Anyway, I called with her and we seem good again, and I do want to work with her moving forwards. ________________________________________________________________ I spoke with Ashvika and explained why I voted Duncan, and I think she is the person I wanna work with most now, like Id love to go far with her, because I am an Ashvika stan. Touchy Subjects was very interesting, Will guessed me for a lot of the negative game ones which suggests he doesn't have much faith in my game and I got who does everything think has an idol, blind to manipulation, who is gonna need to be apologised to, who is getting blindsided. Lots of very scary ones. So... I'm nervous. I'm also nervous becuase I called with Owen yesterday, and as normal, I said waaay too much to Owen, and while I wanna work with him going forwards, I also think he could easily say what I said to LWD and get me out. ALSO IN OTHER MC'FREAKIN NEWS: I HAVE ANOTHER IDOL. AND NOBODY IS EVER FINDING OUT. I am using the fact that everyone says I leak stuff (because I do) and "leaking" that shore 23 is empty, so that nobody thinks I have it. I wanna use the other idol soon, so nobody thinks I have one teehee

Okay the gag is Duncan and I apparently got found out or were suspected or something so congrats to them for sleuthing successfully but also according to Ali people thought Ashvika and I were close??? Which??? Isn't true??? I hardly even know her??? sjlks Anyways I love these Touchy Subjects answers they make me feel really good about myself. I basically threw the challenge because I didn't feel like I had a good chance of winning anyway, and I'm not really in the position to offend anyone lmao which is evident by the answers. Apparently people trust me the least even tho...I've told pretty much everyone who I'm voting for in the last round. On an exciting note people want to vote for me tonight! At this point just take me out of the game and catapult me into the sun. I'm ready for it. The one person I wanted out of this game won immunity so. I don't know what my plans are but accepting death seems like a good idea right now.

This jury is literally gonna be pissed at everyone so I need to start doing whatever I can to make them think we're close, that we're friends. I'll talk to Kevin about Netflix, I'll tell Ashvika she's a queen, I'll give Owen a backrub idgaf but I need to make sure Cameron looks worse than I do. None of them think Ali's done anything, and Dana...they think she's cracked too. The only person I'm okay with beating me is Dana and that's that.

Something good happening at tribal council? For once there's even a possibility. After chatting with Owen we're trying to start something. Him Ashvika and I all voted for Ruthie last round, so if we stick together that's 3, and we're hoping for at least 5. Our best bets are Emily and Ali. I have no idea if this has a shot of working tbh but I feel like tonight's all or nothing. Unfortunately we can't get Cameron. I tossed around Dana or Zach's names to Owen but like, whoever Ali and Emily (or whoever we can get) want to vote, we'll vote. I don't know how solid the majority alliance is, or who's in cahoots with who, so this is a very...fragile, could-break-at-any-moment plan. If there's any way of convincing these two, the Touchy Subjects answers show that they're not safe if they stick with that side. Time to actually talk to them though and see what's up tho ahhhh ________________________________________________________________ I told Ali Duncan said Dana said Cameron had an idol. Ali revealed that he voted for Duncan because he was telling people Ali told him about the idol. Ali then said to me "I knew he was covering for someone it must be Dana." The gag is I honestly don't know if it was actually Dana skdkdkf I remember her name in the conversation we had but like??? But if it convinces Ali then it works for now

Why did I put Owen to be blindsided by his alliancE? bc I’m his alliance And I’m gonna blindside him

So Owen voted for me not Emily hmmm Maybe he was the one that made the pretty glee voting thing What’s that paper called again? Omg yes parchment

I’m really scared for this tribal. Owen, Ali, and I have made an alliance and are talking about voting with Kevin and possibly Ashvika. I want to pull in Zach and maybe Dana, but the problem is,,,,, Owen and Ali and Kevin want to vote Dana. I want Dana to stay. I don’t know why. I think I’m just bein gay. I want Will out tbh. And I would’ve wanted Cameron if he wasn’t fucking immune but NO of course I have to be HORRIBLE at tie breakers!!! I’m really shocked by some of the things I got in touchy subjects like wtf man. You’ll enjoy voting me out? You wish you had gotten me out pre-merge? You have to apologize to me after this game? Interesting. This is one of those Touchy Subjects results that I realy wanna take notes about. Usually I don’t take them too seriously but I’m #offended. Ugh I really want to work with Zach but I’m scared of Dana and him being a duo sort of like how Lily and I were a duo I guess? Ugh. I don’t know how to like,,,,, get around that. There’s a lot to figure out about this vote. But I think we can get something going. All I know is that I’m not really feeling like voting for Kevin tonight. ;-) we’ll see what happens

I am LITERALLY a rat and I feel guilty but if this works out then it's fine. I'm fine. Everything will be fine. I need to keep people in this game around me and I'm gonna take heat for it and Cameron might idol me out but like....oh well. ________________________________________________________________ Basically the pieces came together, Emily Ali and I made a chat and we all like fkshd worked on getting Kevin and Ashvika on board. Emily thought she could play a vote negator to make it 5-4 but she cant use it yet SO instead I was like ok I'll try to get them to split the votes somehow and both Will and Dana suggested it anyways kfadsjh lmao so hopefully it's like..... 5-3-2 tonight. I wanted it to be Dana at first bc if it does somehow tie 5-5 I felt like Ruthie would flip and vote Dana but not Will, but maybe now Zach would flip and vote for Will idk probably not. Also I still love Will :'( this game will feel weird without him but he's a huge threat. So is Cameron and Dana tbh like everyone is lowkey trying to press their own agenda and I think they're getting weary of one another but....idk. I feel like I need to do this now bc it'll be me actually taking things into my own hands rather than Kevin leaving and me relying on dana or will wanting Cameron out whenever they decide. I wish Will didn't have to go and if this all blows up on me then fine but like...yeah. god. ppl are gonna be upset with me, wigs all around ! ________________________________________________________________ THE ANGEL ON MY SHOULDER IS CRYING BUT THE DEVIL ON MY SHOULDER IS LAUGHING im so ugly i cant wait for this to go wrong and then ppl laugh at me for being an idiot when they read my confessionals after ________________________________________________________________ Lowkey it seemed too easy to get will and dana to want to split the vote and now Ali has disappeared too? I feel like Ali spilled and now theyre all just gonna vote for me but if thats the case then oh well I was never gonna win without trying to get trust in people

STOP STRESSING ME THE FUCK OUT good bye dana barry .

Finally a vote where I know what’s happening and the people that control everything... don’t. I’m excited! My first blindside where I’m on the like... right end? Wow. I love taking matters into my own hands. Will made an Azores alliance and I feel HORRIBLE because I’m voting him out this round lmao. And Cameron made an alliance with Will and Cameron and I just GOD at his is going to be hard because I could be ruining some potential allies... but also... who cares? I’m making a move, y’all! If it doesn’t work out, then so be it. But I’m putting my trust into Owen, Ali, Ashvika, Kevin... people that I really didn’t expect to work with all together but I’m thankful nonetheless. I’m also thinking this group of five is good because Kevin, Ashvika, and Ali will be easier to beat in the end? I think? Idk. I’m trying to think ahead as much as I can, and weakening Cameron & Co. is the first step to that. I feel guilty but this is what I have to do to win. It’s All Stars, Emily! ALL STARS! GET UR HEAD IN THE GAME!

I made an alliance with Will and Emily. I want Will to think he's my #1. He's not. I told them we're winning. We're not. Well... they're not. me: this alliance is winning Me: knows that neither of these two can make it to the end

Kevin is voting me yikes.com. I'm getting idoled out yall and it has been fun. Ashvika and Kevin have idols and I get majority = HELP ME PLEASE AMERICA. I'm on call with ASHVIKA and she says THEY ARE VOTING OUT WILL. WHAT DO I DO PLEASE. AND APPARENTLY IF THEY DONT VOTE FOR WILL THEY ARE VOTING FOR ME. If this is all a scare tactic.... it sure is working!!!! More to come later I have 20 minutes to entirely flip this vote ladies. Mama IS staying tonight know that!

OKAY SO! I voted for Ashvika. Why? Well, two or three reasons. 1. I've voted in the majority. Every time. I can't do that. I will become a target and I want to look like I'm being bobo the fool. 2. If someone (Ashvika) plays an idol on Kevin, it burns her. Also, it protects us (Me, Ali, Dana, Will, but the latter 3 because I'm safe) in the event that someone does idol Kevin. Also, I'm so glad I won immunity. It's a bad time for me personally and this made everything easier. Thank you, survivor gods. Thank you.

kevin and ashvika couldnt keep their mouths shut and now I'm getting idoled out. it's been real xoxoxo

I'm literally about to go home, but at least if I do I was able to crack the code and see it coming first. Kinda like Margaery in GoT, she saw it coming but she was just a little too late to stop it. ________________________________________________________________ Well I mean like I called it so y'all aren't as slick as you thought, there just really wasn't anything I could do. I got outplayed by snakes who were willing to throw away the last ounces of respect I had for them, but like I would've done the same and just been more respectful about it. And if you think writing "I hope it's a tie" in your voting confessional absolves you of anything you gotta like...use your brain sorry, if you don't want someone to go home you don't vote for them - it's not that hard! But it's been a fun game and this isn't the last of me (sorry if you wanted it to be). Cast me in your games more often I'm fun!!! xoxo

Will becomes the 11th person voted out of Athena All Stars in a 5-3-2 vote, and the 3rd member of our jury. You can see Will’s preseason interview here.

#NotAllFunAndGames

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