#because there is no WAY the tuition is this low but they offered me this amount of funding. no way.

[waitineedaname]

I keep looking at this tuition calculator, certain something must be wrong. canadians, are you aware of how good you have it

[astriiformes]

I'm glad to see posts circulating listing some of the significant legislation Tim Walz has supported as governor of Minnesota, but there's one I haven't seen mentioned yet that I think is really important for young voters to know about--the North Star Promise program, aka the reason I can afford to finish my Bachelor's degree.

Some of you may remember me posting about my financial aid offer being a lot more generous this year. That because Minnesota just implemented a scholarship program that makes undergraduate college tuition free for students with family incomes of less than $80,000 attending state or tribal colleges. As in, if after other grants and scholarships have been applied, you still owe money for tuition, the state of Minnesota will pay the rest.

Obviously tuition isn't the only expense associated with being a college student--I still am taking out student loans to help cover things like rent and other cost of living expenses--but it is the biggest one. As a low-income, non-traditional student paying my own way through college (and with a disabled partner who cannot work), I was genuinely unsure if I was going to be able to finish my degree before the North Star Promise program was implemented, and it has freed me from so much stress and worry.

A lot of factors had to combine to make a program like this possible --activists had to push for it, Minnesota had to vote in a Democratic majority in the state legislature to pass it, and we had to have a governor willing to sign the program into law--but it is still significant it was something Walz was willing to put his name on. And I cannot fathom how many lives it would change if he was willing to push for something similar to this at the federal level. So, keeping in mind that we have to vote up and down the ballot as well as keep the pressure on our elected officials to support programs like this once folks are in office, let's make it happen.

[strwbwrrybunny]

𝒫𝐸𝐸𝒫𝐼𝒩𝒢 𝒯𝒪𝑀—ryomen sukuna

─── ⋆⋅˚ʚ♡ɞ˚⋅⋆ ──

mdni,18+

you peel your tired eyes open, blinking a couple times to adjust to the darkness. a soft yawn escapes your lips as your hands roam the plush queen-sized bed, finally finding your phone. you click it on, the bright light brutal against your eyes, and you hiss, cursing softly. 3:39 am. you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me, it’s three in the morning and he’s been at it for hours.

"seriously, sukuna?" you mutter, your voice barely above a whisper as you roll over, trying to muffle the sounds with your pillow. it’s no use. the shrill voice of the unknown woman echoes through the thin walls, her cries of "oh,sukuna!" piercing the night. you groan, pulling the pillow tighter around your head, but it does little to drown out the noise.

you never thought you'd be living with a man twice your age. but,the cost of living was getting out of hand, and you didn't have the luxury of having parents who handed everything to you on a silver platter. not to mention most of your checks went towards tuition, most? who were you kidding. all, your checks went towards tuition.

you think back to when you first moved in, how skeptical you had been. the ad on craigslist had seemed too good to be true. a large room in a nice apartment for a price you could actually afford? it had to be a scam. but when you met sukuna, all your doubts vanished. he was extremely nice, clean, and, let’s face it, fucking sexy. the entire time he’d shown you the apartment, you couldn’t help but eye-fuck him, your mind wandering to places it probably shouldn’t have.

he’d insisted on helping you move all your belongings in, not that you had many, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. "just relax," he’d said with that charming smile of his. "i’ll take care of everything." handsome and a gentleman.

you couldn’t believe your luck.

four months had passed since then, and living with sukuna had been amazing. he was a great cook, often whipping up dishes you couldn’t even pronounce. he was always offering to buy you things while he ran errands—chipotle, candles, and once even a hello kitty plushie because he knew you liked those. it was like living with the perfect older brother, if older brothers were drop-dead gorgeous and incredibly thoughtful.

but then there were the nights like this. the nights when sukuna brought women home, and you were left trying to sleep through the symphony of passion coming from his room. you weren’t the jealous type, but hearing those screeches of sukuna’s name all night until the early morning was such a damn nuisance. you always wondered if his dick was really that good; it had to be, the way these women moaned his name.

"ugh," you groan, sitting up in bed and rubbing your eyes. there’s no way you’re getting any sleep now. you grab a hoodie and pull it on, deciding to head to the kitchen for a glass of juice.maybe the cool liquid will help calm your frayed nerves.

as you tiptoe down the hallway, you can still hear them, the sounds of their lovemaking echoing through the house. you shake your head, a mix of frustration and curiosity swirling in your mind. reaching the kitchen, you fill a glass with orange juice and take a long sip, the coolness soothing your dry throat.

just as you’re about to head back to your room, the noise stops. the sudden silence is almost deafening, and you pause, wondering if it’s really over. you sigh in relief, hoping that maybe now you can get some sleep.you hear footsteps behind you.

"couldn’t sleep?" sukuna’s deep voice startles you, and you turn to see him standing in the doorway, shirtless and looking way too good for someone who’s just been... busy. his inked toned body glistens with sweat, pink hair pulled to the back. he’s wearing a pair of red checkered pajama pants that hang dangerously low on his hips, so low you could practically trace his v line that led to a small patch of pubic hair.god, he looks so fucking sexy.you notice you’re staring and cough sheepishly.

you shrug, trying to play it cool. "yeah, something like that."

he steps closer, a smirk playing on his lips. "sorry about the noise. i didn’t mean to keep you up."

you wave it off, though your heart is pounding in your chest. "it’s fine. i’ll survive."

sukuna chuckles, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "you’re a tough one, aren’t you?"

you can’t help but smile, despite the situation. "i try."

there’s a mischievous glint in his eyes and you can’t pin it, he’s staring at you with those beautiful iridescent eyes, and you can’t help but shift under his gaze.sukuna would never admit but he found you cute, there was another woman in his room that he’d just fucked and yet here he was thinking about you.you had a pink hoodie pulled over your curvy frame, ass peeking out from the bottom. it was just enough to make his imagination swirl to life, he wanted to take you right here on the kitchen counter,have you beg his name as he fucked you so hard you cried.

you look so fucking pretty, dark hair pulled into a high ponytail, pieces framing your tired face.your pretty white teeth are gnawing at your plump lips in anticipation.he makes you nervous, he can tell. he likes watching you squirm under his gaze, he finds it adorable how easy it is to get you flustered.

“well, goodnight.”

as he turns to head back to his room, you catch yourself staring at his back, the muscles moving beneath his skin. you shake your head, trying to clear your thoughts.he was literally upstairs, fucking another woman and you’re here drooling over him.now it’s just you alone in the kitchen, cicadas outside singing in harmony.you down the rest of your orange juice before rinsing out your cup and switching the light off.

your curiosity gets the best of you and you can’t help but press a ear against his door as you’re passing by, you can make out grunts.they’re too high pitched to be hers, they’re his.you find yourself getting wet at the sound, they’re deep and guttural and so damn sexy.you feel like a creep when you find your hands inching towards your panties, pushing them aside and rubbing into your wetness.you almost moan, god, you’re so fucking horny all of a sudden.

you bite down on your lip to stifle a moan when you slip a finger inside of you, a soft squelch filling your ears as you eagerly move your finger inside your wet pussy.this is so wrong you think, but it feels so good and the way sukuna’s moans are filling your ears has your head spinning.your head lulls back as you add another finger, stretching your tight hole wider.you’re desperate, other hand finding your throbbing clit.you rub in time with the creaking of the bed,your pussy pulsating around your fingers.

“you like this huh?” you hear sukuna whine, spurring you to move faster.the wetness of your cunt leaks down your fingers,and you want to cry out loud as your finger finds its way deeper and deeper inside of you.tears threaten to spill from your watery eyes as you ravage your poor clit, flicking, rubbing, squeezing the tiny bud between your fingers.

“you think i don’t see the way you look at me? i can tell you want me to bend you over.”

if you didn’t know any better you’d think he was talking to you, but it’s not possible. he doesn’t know you’re outside listening in on him, fingering yourself to his moans, his voice.a part of you wish he did, but part of you knew that it’d be extremely taboo to have relations with a man double your age.but fuck, did you want to so bad.

you can feel your stomach churning with that familiar feeling,legs buckling as they threaten to give out.”are you gonna cum?” sukuna asks, his voice is dark and you can hear the smirk in it.you nod your head as if he’s talking to you, hips now meeting your fingers.you want to cry out as your orgasm takes over you, back resting against the wall as you shake with pleasure.

“good girl.” you once again hear sukuna, realizing what you’ve just done you quickly pull your fingers out of you.god, was your sex life this pathetic? you shake your head and make your way to the bathroom to wash your hands.once you’re finally settled back under your pink covers your phone pings.

sukuna: promise to let me taste next time?

likes+ comments+ reblogs are appreciated <3

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Summer Breeze 12

Warnings: age gap (reader is 22, Andrew is mid 40s), dad’s friend, Andy being Andrew, other dark elements. As usual, be mindful of your content consumption.

I also beg of you to leave me some tuppence in the form of a comment and/or reblog. You are cherished!

Enjoy, my loverlies.

You wake up shivering. The AC blasts over your bare legs and speckles across your skin. You roll over as your skull rattles. Your left eye twitches as you sit up and hug the pillow against your middle for warmth. 

For a second, you’re at your dad’s house; the next you’re in the cabin; and at last, you come back to the present. 

Andy’s voice rolls in a low timbre but you can’t make out his words. His tone is dire and has you stumbling to your feet. Something’s wrong. Your dad! 

You follow it to the kitchen and find him with his hand to his ear. He’s on the phone with someone. Your phone. You blink as you stare at your pearl case. He nods in recognition and wraps up the call. He comes around the square island and offers you the cell. 

“It kept going off.” He explains. 

“Was it the hospital? Is dad okay?” You nearly snatch it away. 

“No, no. I called earlier. He’s going through some tests and exercises.” He crosses his arms and leans on the counter. “That was the insurance company.” 

“Insurance?” You cringe and lower your hand to your side. You squeeze the phone tight. 

“I know, shouldn’t have touched it but you were out and I was concerned. You got enough on your plate.” 

“What-- what did they say? Why did they call?” You demand. 

Did they change their mind? What there something else you can do? Andy purses his lips and rubs along the angle of his jaw, his other hand still folded over his chest. 

“Claim denied. You’ll have to deal directly with the hospital for payment.” He exhales and frowns. “Those kinda bills are never easy. I know it well. A lot to deal with on top of everything else.” 

“Yeah, I... I spoke with them before but... I haven’t had time to figure out—I could get a credit card? Or a loan? Maybe. I don’t have anything on my credit so...” You shrug and shake your head. “It’s not your problem.” 

“But I can help.” 

You flinch at his offer. You scoff and wave the phone at him. “No, no. You’ve done so much. More than enough. I couldn’t... couldn’t ask that. No. No.” You’re arguing with yourself as much as him. “I can do this. I’m an adult and it’s my responsibility. I’ll... I’ll drop out. Dad has my tuition in savings. I’ll have to look over his accounts and--” 

“What about the nurse? The physio? The counseling?” Andy asks. 

You freeze and stare at him. You shiver again but not because you’re cold. You grimace and move your lips wordlessly. 

“This isn’t just a hospital stay, sweetheart. This is going to be a long recovery. It could even be the rest of his life.” 

His grim tone sinks into your stomach and you feel sick. You press a hand to your cheek and nod. You roll your eyes up in an effort to bid back the tears. 

“I know. I’ll... I’ll figure it out. I will. I can... I have to.” You turn way to hide your mounting distress.

You don’t think you can do all of this. You didn’t think about tomorrow or the next day or next month or next year. What do you do when the savings run out? You don’t even know how much your dad has? 

“You don’t have to do it alone. I could--” 

“Why would you help?” You spin to face him. “I’m young and scared but I’m not naive. No one just helps someone like that. Someone they barely know. Even my mom--” You choke back a sob and steady yourself. 

“Your dad’s my friend.” 

“Yeah, for what? A couple of years?” You put the heel of your hand and the butt of your phone to your temples. 

“You’re a nice girl. I wanna help.” 

“Why?” You ask. 

“Because you shouldn’t have to do this alone.” 

“No, why did you answer the phone?” Tendrils creep up your back and wrap around your neck. You drop your arms. “Why... why did you rent this house? Why are you doing all of this?” 

“You need it--” 

“Answer my question. I can’t-- I can’t handle anything else.” You snap. “I’ve been so distracted, so swept up in it all that I didn’t stop to think why a fifty-year old man is doing all of this?” 

He’s quiet as your heart thumps and you look him in the face. He stares back and a line forms in his forehead as his cheek dimples. The silver at his temples is more obvious and the speckle in his beard as well. This man is your father’s age. He might be a neighbour and a friend but your dad isn’t exactly the nicest guy. 

“I do want to help.” He speaks at last. The lilt in his voice says it all. All your suspicions coil tightly in your chest. “I could help. I could take care of you and your dad. I would--” 

“Jesus. Are you serious?” You warble through the swell in your throat. “It’s... no, no, not that. How—you could be my father?! Your son--” 

“I’m not your father.” He insists tersely. “And I’m not too old.” 

“Oh god!” You hit your head in frustration. “I’m so stupid. I’m so goddamn stupid. How could I—but why would I ever--” You rant wildly as you pace around frantically. You spin and face the walls and examine every inch. “I-- I’m already fucked. I’m--” 

Your legs shake and you wobble around. You stagger into the door frame and cling to it. You heave, a sharp whistle rising from your throat with each crushing breath. Your tears roll down your cheeks and you slide down to your knees. You claw at your neck as the air snags in your throat. 

“Sweetheart,” Andy nears and kneels. He touches your back and you flinch. “You gotta breathe. You’re having a panic attack.” 

“Y-yeah. I—ammmmm.” You squeak as your vision swims and you grip the door frame tightly. 

“It’s okay.” He coaxes and rubs between your shoulders. 

“No-” 

“I’m not asking for much--” 

Your head pulses and you sit back on your heels. Your look at him in a flume of rage and horror. You slap his shoulder. Once, twice, again. Then you shove him away from you. You sob and fall forward onto your hands and shake in a storm of grief. 

This can’t be real. You just need your dad. You need him to hug you and tell you it’s going to be okay. 

[multifandomgirl08]

Sugar Daddy!Daniel Ricciardo x Fem!Reader Headcanon

A/N: New possible story idea. I'm just trying to see where I can take this idea from here. This is really just story set up.

This is inspired by me cleaning out things from old Pinterest boards

The Arrangement Masterlist

You used to be a big party girl when you were in college.

You were in Vegas on vacation with a group of friends when your roommate said that she would be going out for the night to have dinner with this guy.

The next morning you found her back in the hotel room with a stack of hundreds stuffed in a yellow envelope.

She told you about her dinner with this older guy. He had money, was well-connected, and paid her to spend time with him.

It all seemed perfect.

So the next night she went out with him, she invited you along.

And that was how you met Daniel.

He was sitting at the bar and you started talking to him.

Daniel didn't know what a sugar baby was when he met you.

You thought that he did.

You were quite embarrassed when your friend came up to you asking him how much he was willing to pay you for the time you had spent together in the restaurant.

You could see the color leave his face.

"Are you?" He started to ask.

You just nodded playing it cool before muttering, "A sugar baby."

You weren't really a sugar baby, at least he didn't know that you weren't.

You could see his shoulders relax just a bit.

Your friend ended up pulling you away from him and you didn't see him the rest of the night.

One of your friends ends up letting you borrow a dress to go out to some expensive restaurant on the strip the next night.

And you saw Daniel again. He's with a large group of people. Your eyes connected in the low lighting of the room.

Halfway through your dinner when you're on your way to the bathroom you end up bumping into him.

He asks for your number.

You figure that he'll have it and never text you because some guys are like that.

Instead, the day that you are back in your apartment unpacking from your trip you get a text from him.

Look, I don't know what a sugar baby does aside from a few weird stories that I've heard from some friends but would you be willing to try with me?

You contemplate not texting him back before showing the text to your roommate.

She encourages you to go for it. It's easy money and you get a free meal out of it at least if it goes wrong.

It takes a few weeks before you have the chance to meet up with Daniel.

Your friend gave you a small list of things to bring up with him.

Allowance, things that you were willing to do and not, and how often you would see one another.

It was a lot to try and remember while she gave you one of her more expensive dresses from the back of her closet, and let you borrow a vintage Chanel bag that her own sugar daddy bought her.

Once you are at dinner, you find that it's easy to talk to him.

It's not awkward at all, you ordered food and were sipping on the wine that he had chosen before he brought it up.

"So, I figured we'd talk about that sugar babe thing or whatever."

You put your fork down before looking up at him again.

He told you he didn't know what he was doing, and you didn't either.

"Maybe we can keep doing this... going out to dinners and you going with me to events. I'll pay for it, hotel, clothes, shoes. We'll make a schedule or something..." He's quick to offer.

It doesn't sound exactly like what your roommate has, but it sounds similar. Her sugar daddy pays for her half of the rent, and the allowance he gives her goes to paying off her college tuition and buying herself things that you never noticed were in her closet until recently.

"I'm not really looking for anything more than this right now." He says.

So, you agreed to what he was offering and spent the dinner getting to know him better.

You find out that he was a Formula 1 driver and was currently without a seat for the next year.

You told him you didn't know what that was.

"Drive To Survive, it's on Netflix."

You would have to use your roommate's Netflix when you got back to the apartment and found out what he was talking about.

You told him that you were in your last year of college and a bit about your major.

When you get home you end up watching the first season of Drive To Survive, and when you see Daniel on your TV you can't help but be a little shocked, he seems so confident in front of the camera but with you is very reserved.

It was a few months later when you noticed that things were changing, but you still talked to Daniel the same amount.

He started getting more comfortable sending you things like flowers or he offered to pay for your textbooks before sending you a check that was more than your textbooks would have cost.

You were in between semesters when Daniel asked if you would be interested in spending your summer break with him.

[nerdygaymormon]

Thoughts from Gather Conference

The first speaker at the Gather Conference was Dr. Greg Peterson, president of Salt Lake Community College. He described the model of a community college, which has a 100% acceptance rate, low tuition costs, and recognizes that not all students will get a degree but may be there just for a few classes or taking one class at a time as that's all their life can handle. A university, especially an elite one, has a low acceptance rate and a prescribed ways for how students should progress through school and earn a degree. It is designed for elite students who are likely to succeed in this model.

Gathering Zion should be more like a community college. It feels like Jesus runs a community college while our church runs an elite university as it caters to those who are likely to complete the covenant path without much to offer those whose life doesn't fit its model. As a queer person, I absolutely know what it feels like to not feel like I'm wanted or welcome at church because I'm don't fit the model and not likely (according to the leaders) to reach the highest heaven.

Jenn Blosil, who was a contestant on American Idol, is quite humorous and she performed a beautiful arrangement of the song "All Are Alike unto God." I hope her version gets released, otherwise I'm gonna have to rip an mp3 when the video is released.

In her presentation, Liv Mendoza Haynes commented "You can't parent a child who is gone" as part of talking about how parents need to be loving and affirming of their LGBTQ children because the consequences of rejecting this part of them has serious consequences. She also said when Jesus was suffering in the Garden, He didn't suffer for people simply because they're LGBT because that's not something to repent of, it isn't wrong.

I believe it was David Butler who said that being an LGBTQ Latter-day Saint is making communion out of contradiction. Many people think the two are incompatible yet we exist.

When we feel safe with others, we let down our guard and enter healing.

These next few quotes are something an individual (I can't remember her name) said to me.

"What do we know of God? One who creates and mentors. When we engage in acts of creativity and creation, when we engage in encouraging and including and loving others, that's when we're likely to feel the Divine."

"When we hide in the closet, when we hide who we are, we are hiding our light. Once there's a crack and we let someone know our secret that we're queer, the bright light comes flooding out of that crack. In a way, it is a birth. As we learn not to hid ourselves, we learn to see and be ourselves, to introduce ourselves to the world."

Someone asked, "Who is the protagonist of the Restoration? Is it Joseph Smith? Moroni? Neither, WE are!"

Dr. Lisa Diamond from the University of Utah shared some information from her research. Being a minority can feel like being threatened, we spend our time being on guard and feeling stressed. This causes our bodies to produce inflammation because that's useful if we might be wounded. But if there's not a physical wound, inflammation causes damage. As a result, minorities often suffer chronic health problems at high rates, such as diabetes, high blood pressure, anxiety, depression, and many other problems.

A panelist said that there's not a faith stronger than people who come despite knowing they aren't wanted. If there is a parable to exemplify this type of faith exhibited by queer people, it is the woman touching the fringe of Jesus' clothes.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Uea and Red

I don't have a fancy intro for this so lets just get right into it.

Uea is red. We know Uea is red. I know Uea is red. But there is just something about the red on Uea that feels wrong. That I am having trouble wrapping my mind around. Maybe it's just that the color choice doesn't match well with James, but I'm going to choose to analyze it as an intentional part of the show instead, because fuck it, we ball. Because you see, it isn't all of the reds that I have trouble believing, just one specific shade.

So what red do I have a problem with?

The bright red. Uea's main red. Unfortunately :(

There is just something about it that makes it feel...fake? to me.

But, as I said, there are plenty of moments in the show where I wholly accept, understand, and associate Uea with red.

So when do I buy into Uea Anol The Red Rascal?

In lighting like this:

In clothing like this:

(I do consider pink to be a red since it has red in it.)

(This last image is from the after-credit scene of Cutie Pie where Net and James cameo as King and Uea).

In King's sheets:

All this to say that there are times when I completely see Uea as a Red Rascal, but I needed to figure out what it was about the main red that always took me out of that mindset. What was it about the main red that made me feel like it was a lie?

And after reading @respectthepetty's commentary on a previous thread : "Uea wearing a blue shirt in the past could very much symbolize him trying to not be himself." it really got me thinking.

That red is too saturated, too vibrant, too loud for Uea. At least in my opinion. Because while RTP is also correct and Uea "has been shown to be more spontaneous, attention-getting, and dominant" that is really only true when Uea is being sexual. When it comes to sex, Uea is the more dominant person. It is Uea that initiates/asks for the first sexual encounter with King, it is Uea who sets the (truly low bar) rules, at every point of the sexual relationship he has with King, Uea is in control.

But the same can't be said for non-sexual situations. In social situations, in matters of day to day existence, external personality, etc. King is the far more outgoing person. At the office King is the one who gets all the attention, he is more openly flirty. And while Uea gets his share of attention in the office, he does not reciprocate it the way that King does. Uea is quiet, Uea is reserved, and that's doubly the case when Uea is triggered. Unless he is actively re-living the moment, he dissociates or retreats in to himself to process his own emotions. When Uea's mother asks him for tuition in Episode 1 and he starts thinking about all his other stressors, he doesn't say a word, he just returns to the karaoke room and starts drinking:

At the hospital he folds in to himself, he barely puts up a fight, the only time he really even says "No," is when King starts reaching for his own wallet:

When King sniffs his neck the way his stepfather used to, Uea retreats to a hallway to hide. At no point does he offer any explanation (and to be clear he doesn't have to, he's allowed to keep it secret)

Honestly, the only way anyone in Uea's life probably has any indication that Uea is going through so much is from physically witnessing it themselves (King seeing Uea freaking out in the dark, King seeing Uea submissive in front of his mother, Jade protecting Uea from Pock, King rescuing Uea from Pock).

So to have such a bright and vibrant red for Uea feels wrong, it feels like a lie to me. Mostly because Uea's daily personality is more passive and restrained compared to his more open and demanding personality in the bedroom. I believe Uea as a Red Rascal when his reds are darker and muddier (the red-browns) or lighter and more subtle (the pinks). Uea's bright reds make me question his color-coding far more because it is so strong a color. (To be clear here this is not me saying I don't think Uea is strong, just me saying that he is too quiet for the bright reds).

And it got me thinking more about when and where Uea wears the bright red colors and where he doesn't. And it always seems to be in moments of anxiety.

When Uea wears bright red:

At the very beginning of Episode 1 when he is introducing himself to the audience

When he goes with King to get tested for STIs

When he goes home for his birthday.

These are all anxiety inducing moments.

Uea is making a first impression on us the audience, he's trying to gets us to see what he wants us to see. He is trying to convince us that what he is telling us is true. That is ordinary. The literal first words in his opening monologue are:

"I'm just an ordinary salaryman. I'm nothing different to others, but there might be one thing different...I don't like being around people in the office,"

Three minutes later, we get the truth:

Uea may seem like an ordinary salaryman on the outside, but he has been horrifically abused and is struggling with navigating trauma that is far outside what I would call "ordinary". Guess who picks up on the issue? King.

STI testing is the same thing, Uea is worried and King says as much:

And anyone who has seen Episode 4 understands perfectly well the anxiety Uea must be feeling at the prospect of going home. Because well...

#pransdaddarktimelineedition

And we know one of Uea's coping mechanisms is sex. He can't find the words to talk about his feelings properly so he tries to push them down, and distract himself with pleasure. If we want to look at the bright red as anxiety, Uea usually has something white on as a cover. His anxiety is there but he is trying to hide it.

But at King's he takes that white sweater off, tries to fuck his feelings away, but the anxiety is fresh, he hasn't regulated his emotions enough yet to be convincingly okay, and King #greenflagextraordinaire once again notices Uea is not in an emotionally secure enough place to proceed with sex.

And sure, you can argue that Uea wears these bright reds while he's one on one with King, and there the bright red can't just be anxiety, and we could also argue that every color has positives and negatives and the same could be said for the bright red. And to that I say, sure, but the one on ones with King are as follows: King snaps Uea out of an active trigger, King and Uea discuss starting a friends with benefits situation, Uea shows up to King's apartment on short notice after having a breakdown. None of these moments are what I personally would consider stress free.

Compare that to when Uea wears more muted/subtle reds:

The first time he meets King in a bar, (this is actually the brightest red that he wears that I can actually believe for Uea, and that's because it is a darker red than the other three firetruck red shirts.)

The day after he's shared a moment of connection and trust with King in the hospital after sending his mother home.

When he has forgiven King for accidentally triggering him without King knowing and is ready to re-initiate the FWB.

In the pool with King, when King asks him if he likes the sea and Uea replies "Kind of, but I preferred the calm one,"

Even the red lighting is different, the first red light is brighter and more intense, and that's because Uea is under time pressure to make a decision about whether or not to start the FWB deal with King. In the warmer post-coitus light of the second lighting photo, Uea is incredibly relaxed, almost drowsy, and is being asked to answer honest questions about why he agreed to be FWB. He's not anxious here, he's calm, and as a result Uea and King get to bask in a richer, deeper, less harsh red light. We can interpret the same information from King's sheets, with Uea being happy and relaxed and cuddled by King.

And even when we finally get King in red:

It's still not as bright as Uea's more purely red outfits (ie not the red-browns or the pinks). And naturally because King is still hiding something we've got to trap the brand new red color with all that black.

ANYWAY all of this to say I have figured out what is off-putting to me about the bright red, what makes me feel like it's a lie. IT'S BECAUSE IT IS A LIE!! Or I guess, more accurately, it's an over-compensation. Uea is red, but his trauma and his pain has made that red less vibrant. If respectthepetty is right, and let's be honest the Parent of All Tumblr Color Theory is always right, then Uea wearing blue at home was his way of suppressing his true self.

And if that's the case, then the separation he has from home, because he is no longer living there (since he's still in communication with his mother and therefore cannot fully be separated), has allowed Uea to stop hiding his true self, and embrace the Red Rascal he is. BUT because of his trauma, because his response to trauma seems to be more on the flight and freeze side of things, he is more prone to submission in the face of environmental triggers. When he can no longer simply ignore his mother's text messages, he will try to get his Mom to take a taxi, then give her money, and then resign himself to going to the ATM rather than actually fight her. When he sees his stepfather again, he will run to the dining room rather than engage, he will try to run to the kitchen, when he is stopped he will beg, quietly so as not to make a scene, and then he will run, and run again. (I want to be clear here, Uea does not need to fight, he is doing everything right, and he's doing the best that he can.)

When Uea is faced with high anxiety situations, he needs reminders of who he is. And those reminders need to be bright, and they need to be loud, because they need to be able to break through his initial panic and ground him. So he wears the bright red to tell himself and tell others fundamentally who he is:

A Red Rascal

And funnily enough, this bright red shirt Uea wears at the end of Ep. 4 is the only bright red shirt so far that doesn't bother me. It seems to fit him better than the other bright reds do and that is probably mostly because the loudness of this shirt is mitigated by the shadows on the front darkening the overall color and back of the shirt being washed out by the light rather than intensified by it. Or possibly because the pattern breaks up the color in a way that doesn't make it even brighter. I feel like the solid white stripes, and the solid white jacket from the examples above make their reds almost neon.

Here though, Uea is drunk and being hit on by a stranger. I don't think our boy is coping very well with the realization that he might be falling for King and so the Anxiety Red comes back. But it's not as In Your Face Bright Red as the others, and that's because he's not in as high stakes of a situation here. It's just hinting to me of potential inner turmoil on Uea's end, and since I haven't read the book I have no idea if Uea is contemplated fucking up a good thing and trying to end it because he doesn't think he is deserving of good things.

---

And for a total tangent, shout out to the purple in Ep. 3 after King and Uea's first night as official FWBs. I love when red and blue combine ;)

Ok, I have nothing else to say on this matter at this time. Thanks for listening, and as always if you made it this far, please collect your invisible Participation Medal.

TL;DR: Uea is a red rascal, but only when he is wearing muted red tones, not when he's wearing actual red. Shhh, I know...but it makes sense in my head

[saras-devotionals]

Quiet Time 8/22

What am I feeling today?

Still numb but also frustrated but also grateful. It’s a multitude really. I’m numb most likely due to a current depressive episode, I’ve just been so out of it lately and also a little discourage but equally relieved but also anxious. I thought there was a responsibility I’d have to take it though that’s no longer the case which is a relief but I know there’s still work I must do which is giving me some anxiety. I’m frustrated because the fall semester starts on Monday and none of my professors have posted the courses yet and I just found out for my longest clinical rotation we’re not allowed to use the lockers so I can’t bring anything with me including a lunch and I just don’t have the money to purchase that every week (also I don’t like the cafeteria at that hospital). Finally, grateful, because through it all God is good. He knows what I can handle and what I need and He will not abandon me. I was looking at my aid and I got a new scholarship which covers what I’ve already paid, my hope is that I’ll be refunded what I had to pay in tuition because that would greatly benefit me. However, if not, amen, I completely understand and accept it for what it is.🙏🏼

JOB 22 NIV

‭‭Job‬ ‭22‬:‭2‬-‭3‬ ‭NIV‬‬

““Can a man be of benefit to God? Can even a wise person benefit him? What pleasure would it give the Almighty if you were righteous? What would he gain if your ways were blameless?”

Basically, there’s nothing in our knowledge that can be given or offered to God when He has already given us everything. Also with the second part, I think it means God doesn’t personally gain anything from our righteousness but it is celebrated and from our lives we can lead other people down the same path to Him.

Job 22:5 NIV

“Is not your wickedness great? Are not your sins endless?”

Just a very true statement. By the grace of God our sins were washed away by the blood of Jesus during baptism but that’s not to say that we don’t sin or are not in need of forgiveness still. It’s imperative that we confess to one another and strive to continually do His will and not ours.

Job 22:21-30 NIV

““Submit to God and be at peace with him; in this way prosperity will come to you. Accept instruction from his mouth and lay up his words in your heart. If you return to the Almighty, you will be restored: If you remove wickedness far from your tent and assign your nuggets to the dust, your gold of Ophir to the rocks in the ravines, then the Almighty will be your gold, the choicest silver for you. Surely then you will find delight in the Almighty and will lift up your face to God. You will pray to him, and he will hear you, and you will fulfill your vows. What you decide on will be done, and light will shine on your ways. When people are brought low and you say, ‘Lift them up!’ then he will save the downcast. He will deliver even one who is not innocent, who will be delivered through the cleanness of your hands.””

I really love this. It’s very clear on how we must submit to God, to trust Him, to accept His instruction (from the Bible) and store it in our hearts. That He must be much more valuable than gold to us! That we must find our delight in Him! We’ll pray and He will hear us🥹 He is just so good to us and we really truly don’t deserve it at all but He is our father who loves us so dearly and it’s the least we can do to love Him back just as much.

[quietblueriver]

Prompts!

Will you hold my hand?

They can't look at you like that!

Will you hold my hand?

Quick thing #2. Avatrice + Diego fluff. Thanks for the prompt!

-

She’s been waiting on this for a long time. There wasn’t time or capacity or, really, much to offer in the face of a possible apocalypse, but now that things have settled, that she’s able to live her life, Ava’s also able to help a few other people live theirs.

Nobody gets to enjoy the perks of martyrdom, which Ava guesses is kind of the point, but now that she’s back? Well, she’s cashing in on some of that goodwill and the Church doesn’t seem super eager to fight her. Cam finds Diego easily because he is, somehow, exactly where she’d left him. As soon as they have confirmation and a list of names, Mother Superion makes a call.

Two days later, there’s an address and an assurance of “state-of-the-art facilities” and “hospital affiliation” and “coverage of tuition and all related costs.” It’s what every kid should get, of course, and she thinks she’ll spend a lot of time trying to make that happen, but she feels happy to start here.

Diego is the oldest of the ten kids left at a smaller but still running St. Michael’s. Two nuns are there with them, ancient but, clearing the world’s lowest caretaking bar, not sadistic, and they don’t ask questions or fight when Mother Superion shows up with Camila and Dora and some strange but impressive paperwork, herding the kids into a van.

They call after dropping them off at the new facility, confirming that it is, as promised, excellent in all of the ways that St. Michael’s wasn’t. When Ava hangs up, she curls into Beatrice in their bed and cries for a little while, a steady heartbeat in her ear and a steady hand running through her hair.

“Do you think it would be okay for me to see him?”

Ava feels her response as she says it, voice low and close, “I think he would love to see you, and I think it would be wonderful for you both, if it’s something that you want.”

“I want it so bad, Bea. I just…I don’t want to mess him up. Or, mess him up more, I guess. Y’know, he has a fresh start now. He deserves that.”

The hand in her hair stills as Beatrice shifts slightly so that she can look Ava in the eye. She’s gentle, always so gentle with Ava, as she strokes a calloused finger across her cheek.

“Ava. Darling. He loves you. And you love him. You were there for each other in that awful place.”

“He saw me kill a nun, Bea.”

Her eyes harden. “He saw you protect yourself, and him, from an abuser. He thought you were an angel for a reason.”

She softens again, adds, “It might be a little difficult for him to understand your…change in circumstances.” Ava snorts and Beatrice tilts her head and shrugs the shoulder Ava’s not laying on in acknowledgement of that fucking understatement. “He might have a hard time understanding what happened and why, but more than anything, he’ll be happy that you’re back in his life.”

Ava settles back into her chest and Bea scratches at her back in the way that she loves, pulling up the hem of her shirt just slightly so that she can reach skin. She hums happily and wiggles in appreciation.

“And,” she continues, nails running gradually higher, “he’s old enough to have seen some of what happened over the last year, no matter how hard the sisters might have tried to shelter him. Not that they seemed to be trying particularly hard. In any case, I’m sure Diego understands now more than ever that strange things are possible.”

Bea’s right, of course. She decides, then, that she’ll talk to Mother Superion tomorrow to see what the best way to organize a meeting might be. In the meantime, she has a few other things she’d like to accomplish.

She rolls away just slightly so that she can push herself up and over, straddling Bea’s thighs and leaning forward to undo her bun, balancing with one arm on her shoulder. Beatrice makes a somewhat strangled noise, hands moving to Ava’s hips, and Ava smirks, because yeah she wants Bea’s hair down but it’s not exactly an accident that she’s chosen to do it this way. She presses her chest forward just slightly, feels Beatrice’s breath hot on her clavicle, the almost-whine that escapes her as Ava finishes with her hair tie.

“Has anyone ever told you,” she combs her hands through the loose hair and settles back, “that you’re very, very smart?” Beatrice is not looking at her face. Ava grins, thrills at the blush on Bea’s face when Ava slips a finger under her chin to tilt her head back and redirect her eyes. She doesn’t give her a real chance to answer, kissing her briefly and then dragging her lips down her throat. “And also.” she slips her hands under Bea’s shirt and tugs it up, Beatrice lifting her arms to assist so eagerly that Ava can’t help but breathe out a laugh against her newly available and perfect collarbones. “Very, very hot.”

“Oh?” Beatrice offers, eyes darkening.

“Yeah.” She trails her lips lower, moving her body down the bed until her palms are pressed to the mattress just beside Bea’s hips. She meets Bea’s eyes again, grins. “But show is always better than tell.”

-

Ava’s waiting anxiously, bouncing on her toes, and when the van pulls in, the doors are hardly open before a tiny blur is coming at her, hurling himself into her arms. She can lift him now, easy, and she spins him around and laughs, ruffles his slightly longer hair. “Diego, my guy. I’m so happy to see you.”

Beatrice is standing off to the side, there at Ava’s insistence, and Ava turns to her now, arm still around Diego’s shoulders, and says, “D, this is Beatrice, my girlfriend.” Beatrice, perfect Beatrice, offers a hand and turns her full attention to him. “Hello, Diego. It’s so nice to meet you. Ava has told me so many wonderful things about you.” She says it with the kind of Beatrice sincerity that makes Ava want to cry a little, and her voice is softer than it would be with a grown-up, but only just slightly, something comforting instead of something patronizing.

Diego’s blushing a little, which Ava understands completely and also finds to be really fucking cute, as he shakes her hand and says, “Hello. It’s very nice to meet you, too.”

Ava jumps a little as she says, “Okay. So. What do you think about a beach day?”

Diego lights up, and Ava keeps it together, barely.

“Really?”

“Yeah!”

He laughs and hugs her again and says, a little loudly but Ava couldn’t care less, “Yeah!”

-

They take Diego to pick a swimsuit, purple with green octopi winning in a close race against blue with orange turtles. He chooses a green rash guard to match, Beatrice extolling the virtues of UV-protection, and then they select an excessive number of sandcastle construction tools, packing them all into a beach bag that Beatrice carries easily while she and Diego debate the perfect spot for their towels.

Ava takes a minute to grab her water from the bag as Beatrice and Diego begin discussing the logistics of castle-building, and it’s really almost too much for her, watching these people that she has loved so powerfully in such different parts of her life sit together and seriously map out a floor plan in the sand. Bea, taking her own advice, has on a black rash guard and green board shorts, hair in a ponytail threaded through a black cap. Her eyes are focused, moving between their layout and Diego, who is busy looking up at Bea in something close to awe. Again, she gets it, and she takes the chance to watch for a little while, until Diego looks over at her and says, very seriously, “Ava, how do you feel about a double moat?”

It’s easy, so easy, to spend the day with them. The castle is more impressive than anything Ava would have been able to build with Diego on her own, Beatrice critically examining sand-to-water ratios and consulting Diego on every decision. A few other kids, Diego’s age and a little younger, look on, clapping at the successful installation of a new turret, until their adults call them away.

Beatrice unpacks the fruit and chips Diego had picked and, after a short time splashing in the shallow water, they get ice cream, sitting under an umbrella stand and watching the water.

When they get back to the towels, it’s obvious that Diego is a little tired, and Beatrice says, almost shyly, “Diego, I brought something I thought you might like.” She pulls a copy of Percy Jackson from their bag. “It was one of my favorites, when I was your age.”

Ava knows this is mostly true. Beatrice had loved it, although by the time she was Diego’s age, she was reading books many people didn’t read until college. She’d asked Ava before buying it, “He won’t think it’s silly?” And Ava had assured her that he would love it and then kissed her, like, a lot.

Diego’s holding the book a little reverently, still not used to anyone giving him anything, much less anything new with this kind of thought and care. “Cool,” he breathes out, the highest compliment he can give, really, and he looks at them both as he says, “Can I read it now?”

Ava lays a hand on Beatrice’s knee. “Yeah, D. Absolutely. We brought books too.”

Beatrice pulls their books out, and they settle happily on the towels. By the time the sun is setting, he’s made it through a surprising amount, and Beatrice offers, easily, as she packs their bag, “I’ll send you the next one, if you like it.”

“Thanks, Bea.” He says it like it’s something he’s said a thousand times, closing the book and looking at her earnestly, and Ava knows it means something, for Beatrice to have someone else, a child, be this comfortable with her.

“You’re welcome.”

Diego is staying the night with them, so they’re not in a particular hurry, and when Ava watches him staring at the Ferris wheel as they walk the boardwalk, she nudges Bea a little and nods in its direction. Beatrice nods and squeezes her fingers.

“Hey, Diego.” He looks back at her. “Wanna go on the Ferris wheel?”

By the time they reach the wheel, Diego’s a little more hesitant. It’s understandable—the thing is huge, and the carriages are all glass, and Ava knows he has never done anything like this before. He doesn’t stop, though, leading them into the line for tickets and then into the line to wait. The carriages are big, but there aren’t enough people that they fill, each group getting one to themselves. When it’s their turn, the attendant opens the door and Diego hesitates a little before stepping up, Ava and Beatrice following closely.

Before Ava can say anything, Beatrice has let her hand go to stand close to him. She says, gentle in all the same ways she is with Ava, “Diego, I’m a little scared of heights. Would you mind holding my hand?”

He knows, she thinks, what Beatrice is doing, but the smile he gives her is grateful and he grabs her hand without hesitation. “That’s okay, Bea. Me too. We can do it together.”

Ava stands beside them, leaning into Beatrice, and they watch the sun set over the ocean.

[theonceandfuturequeenoftarts]

ooooooo what’s poor kids supper club????

Thank you for the ask, lovely anon!

I don't really remember plotting out "poor kids supper club," so odds are I did it in October, during the fever dream that was writing the Promptening. I think I meant for it to be one of the Promptening chapters, but it grew legs and horns and I just set it to the side.

Here's what that doc file contains (still mostly point-form notes):

Muggle AU; basing this on the Canadian university system, as that’s the one I have experience with  Harry sees that Ron is struggling to afford tuition, rent and meals, even with a part-time job and needs-based bursaries, wants to help him out but knows Ron will turn down any direct attempt at assistance (he has before).  Potter parents died in a house fire (James from part of the house falling on him, Lily of smoke inhalation from getting Harry and getting outside) and, due to mismanagement, the Dursleys took the insurance payout for the house - Still mistreated Harry (because they're trash like that) But Harry has some money that his parents set aside for his education, a portion of the insurance payout from his parents’ deaths available to him, and the rest – as well as his modest inheritance – will become available to him once he turns twenty-five, as well as a full-ride scholarship (probably for ⚽), so he’s comfortable. Not absurdly wealthy, but he can afford to be generous. He’s frugal due to his years of starving with the Dursleys – he doesn’t ever want to be at someone else’s financial mercy again. He also knows what it’s like to be the poor, hungry one and not have anyone else to rely on, and he doesn’t want anyone else to feel that way. His godfather also left him a big, totally-not-haunted fixer-upper house when he passed away, so Harry has a place to host these get-togethers – a giant kitchen and huge dining room.  So Harry posts a few signs around campus, especially near the financial aid office, offering dinner to anyone, no questions asked. They just have to give him a couple hours notice, and if they let him know at least a day ahead of time, they can make food requests.  So he drags Ron and Hermione over as often as possible to feed them, and sometimes they’re joined by another person or three, and it becomes something of a supper club. Draco shows up at some point because it’s popular/because Potter/to mock the poor people, and Harry says “really?” and Malfoy answers “You said no questions!” To which Harry shrugs and says “as long as you behave yourself, you can stay.” Tom becomes a fixture, because while he has scholarship money coming out his ears and a part-time job (because he’s not super challenged by the material and has enough time for it), he’s also trying to run with the rich kids, so any extra money he has goes towards better clothes and accoutrements.  - Plus, if some idiot’s going to be altruistic enough to feed him for free, he’s going to take advantage of that It becomes popular enough that Harry institutes a pay-what-you-can-if-you-can policy (looking at you, Malfoy) Turns into a whole thing, where people help each other out academically and they all do homework together, a support group during midterms and finals and when someone’s having a rough day, they have games nights and go on outings together, and there are groups within the group. If people need a place to stay, they can apply to have one of the rooms in Harry’s fuck-off house for free (as long as they help keep it clean) Harry basically becomes low-key financial aid for his peers, and they think he’s the coolest, and he has no idea.

Yet another meandering, slice-of-life Flaky fic in the making (•ᴗ•,, )

(I just want them all to be warm and happy and eat together and probably cuddle-puddle together. My needs are simple.)

If anyone wants me to actually flesh this out and write it, feel free to include suggestions of what you'd like to see in it, too!

[celestie0]

what do you think about grad school and maybe getting a masters or phd? like for you😭 i’m curious what more do you feel about academia

hiii bb!! ouu yeah i think with the way things are in job market rn, at least for a science degree, having a masters is a MUST and phd too if you want to teach or go into research...just an undergraduate degree for any STEM job i have noticed doesn't suffice unless you're like a comp sci major or have hella connections or something lmfaooo (or if you're a trust fund baby)

i'm actually going to med school so my four years of undergrad were spent working towards that goal, and not really with thoughts of phd or masters, but i did think about doing a masters during my gap year (which would've been this past year) since my school offered a few one years masters programs that i was interested in. it was gonna be a sort of back up plan for me in case i didn't get in anywhere, but ultimately i just had faith in my application n didn't want to spend money on a year of masters tuition haha

but it's hard for me to say for other fields, such as humanities, on what i think of the necessities of masters/phd programs...i'd imagine it's the same though, you'd probably need to pursue a lot of higher education to be qualified to teach or publish etc. in premed, you've got options of going to nursing school, PA school, med school, so i guess there are ways to pivot that don't involve masters programs if you still wanted to be a healthcare provider

i did watch an interesting video recently about the whole trap of the phd/masters pipeline, where students get a degree and think they'll be able to land a decent job post grad from wishful thinking, spend lots of time unsuccessful in the job market, then scramble to apply to grad school, and then even if they feel as though the phd program they're in isn't really giving them what they want from it, they don't want to quit because at that point it'll feel like sunken cost, and it damages their mental health and motivation and is basically this recurring loop where the system forces students to continuously stay in school and do excessive amount of research/work for criminally low compensation, just to become overqualified candidates for barely minimally paying jobs. ofc all in the name to benefit the insanely rich and wealthy. honestly most grad students i meet are stressed and so incredibly jaded, i can't imagine that it's easy on them at all. a lot of universities hardly pay them any sort of livable wage for the work that they do

as for academia in general, i think it's worth it to become educated, as it can open doors. obviously there are different paths for all people, some people choose not to go to school, some people go to trade school, others go to school much later in life. i remember i worked w this one doctor who was a mechanic for thirty years and he went back to school to get his undergrad degree and then went to med school, all while he was in his 50s, and now he's a practicing physician! i thought that was really incredible and inspiring. school is something that's there for you whenever you want it, need it, or feel ready for it. i think it's worthy to invest in your education, but you have to go into it knowing that you're going to make the most of it. in that, pursue higher education if you have a plan of why you're there and what you're going to do when you're there, and not just for the sake of earning a degree or putting off working because you'd rather just stay a student. the reason why someone from harvard might work at the same job as someone who went to community college is ultimately because the person who went to CC might've made more of their experience n harnessed connections/skills n probably had a much more clear idea of what they wanted to do with the education they were earning compared to someone who might've been coasting through a reputable school because once they got in, that was all they cared about (lol i sound bitter saying this, no hate to big name schools, but it's such a common misconception that just because you get a degree from like an ivy league, you'll be set for life. and same applies vice versa. some of the smartest ppl i know are people who did CC for two years and then transferred to a four year university. they saved hella money and got the same degree in the end, with the same exact if not better job opportunities. similarly, i've worked at clinics/hospitals where some of the doctors went to UCLA and others went to caribbean med school, but they all ended up at the same place in the end)

GOD THIS BECAME SO LONG i swear whenever i answer asks on my computer it becomes an essay loool but yea these are just my general opinions about college, higher education, and academia in general? i hope this answers and that i didn't misinterpret the question hahah but thank u for the ask bb!!

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: Brandy Shufutinsky

Published: Jan 23, 2024

Until about 160 years ago Black American labor was used to benefit the few, especially a small group of privileged white landowners. Today, we are still being used. Progressive academics, activists, and political leaders are constantly exploiting Black Americans as living, breathing excuses for policies that benefit progressives and their constituents but fail Black people. 

Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson has set his sights on eliminating high-achieving magnet schools in the name of equity. Currently, academically gifted students from low socioeconomic backgrounds are able to compete for entrance into high-achieving schools. One need not guess why some Black parents welcome this opportunity for their children. After all, only 17% of Black students are proficient in reading and even fewer (7%) demonstrate proficiency in math. Moreover, in 2022, fewer than 10% of Black third-grade students and just under 11% of low-income third-grade students could read at grade level. These dismal figures entail that a great many talented Black students in Chicago must suffer through classes geared not to them but to their illiterate and innumerate peers. Magnet schools offer these talented students a way out. One would think that policy makers committed to providing access to quality education for all students, not just the ones whose parents were able to send them to private schools, would increase the number of high-achieving schools, rather than eliminate them. 

So, why would Mayor Johnson want to eliminate one of the few opportunities for gifted but economically disadvantaged students to access quality education? Well, according to Chicago Public Schools Board CEO, Pedro Martinez, allowing gifted students access to quality education causes “stratification and inequity in Chicago Public Schools.” One has to wonder whether this excuse (as incoherent as it is) is sincere or whether it reflects instead a cynical push to discard selective schools that have proven to be top-tier nationally because these schools compete directly with the union-led public school system. 

In Portland, Oregon education leaders are planning to roll out a system of equitable grading that calls for teachers to consider “non-academic factors” when grading student work. Portland Public School Chief Academic Officer Kimberlee Armstrong, a supporter of the policy, argues that in order to address “biases” educators must, wait for it, engage in bias themselves, by “considering the diverse backgrounds and needs of students.” Just how does considering background rather than correct answers and knowledge acquisition reduce bias? 

Oregon’s student literacy rates are slightly better than Chicago’s but still fewer than half of students read at grade level, with Black student literacy hovering around 26%. Yet rather than provide students with the necessary resources to achieve basic literacy, Oregon policymakers are simply eliminating any method of measuring student achievement. 

We must ask ourselves, who gets lost in educational politicking? Students who desire a quality education are being sacrificed at the altar of progressive policies that do them more harm than good. When I was in the third grade my teacher suggested I be tested for the Gifted and Talented Education (GATE) program. I was attending an under-resourced, high-poverty school where the majority of students qualified for the free-lunch program, including me. My GATE score allowed me access to all of the resources that I would otherwise have missed because my socioeconomic circumstance did not allow for tutors or extracurricular activities, let alone private school tuition. Fast-forward a few decades and instead of providing support for students who find themselves in a situation similar to mine, policy makers are relegating them to mediocrity. 

Who benefits from policies that disenfranchise the most vulnerable students? Many organizations that claim to work to improve student achievement by using equity-based practices have sprouted up over recent years. They offer services to school districts, providing teacher training and curricular materials with a stated goal not of teaching students the knowledge and skills they need to succeed but of “building social justice starting in the classroom.” These organizations are very successful in using our public schools to build their client base and sell their obviously political goals of equity and social justice. When it comes to improving student achievement, however, their results are dismal. Policies that eliminate access to quality education, lower standards and reframe what knowledge is will not help Black students, it will harm them. Politicizing education by lowering expectations is a racist endeavor that denies Black Americans the credit they rightly deserve for overcoming obstacles and reaching the highest levels of success. It’s the bigotry of low expectations.

Brandy Shufutinsky is a social worker, writer, researcher, and advocate. She holds her Doctorate in International and Multicultural Education from the University of San Francisco, her MSW from the University of Southern California, and her MA in International Relations from the University of San Diego. Dr. Shufutinsky has worked towards advancing the rights of victims and survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault through practice, education, and research, and is now focusing her advocacy on developing intercultural and academic opportunities to enhance liberal democratic ideals as the director of education and community engagement with the Jewish Institute for Liberal Values. Follow her on Twitter.

==

This is what "equity" does. In order to force everybody to have equal outcomes, it has to eliminate the ability for people to overachieve or exceed others. Because that would make people jealous and would be "unfair." It can't make everybody an Elon Musk, but it can make everybody a Joe Schlub. And so "equity" always results in the lowest of the lowest common denominators. When you inevitably use force to ensure that happens, that's how you get Russia and China.

The people activists who are putting in these policies are the exact same people who put in the policies that caused this illiteracy and innumeracy in the first place.

[thetrashqueeeen]

The thing that’s pissing me off about this Faith Becoming a Doctor storyline is nothing to do with Faith and everything to do with how IT IS NOT THAT EASY! I have looked into training as a doctor and had to give up on it because it is logistically impossible for most working class people and casualty could have made a point here!

Right so first things first, there is no conversion degree for healthcare professionals- they just have to do the same graduate entry medical course as every other degree educated person. This degree is 4 years and only offered by a handful of medical schools in the country so let’s pretend Holby Medical School is one of these universities and just suspend our disbelief- moving on

Before she can even apply she would have to take this test called the GAMSAT which is absolutely ridiculous and now don’t get me wrong I think you should prove that you are academically capable of completing a degree before you start it but the GAMSAT is not doing that. For starters, it’s not a pass or fail, you’re ranked by percentile compared to other people who took it, so you don’t just have to prove you CAN do it, you also have to be better than everyone else who tries. Furthermore, the questions aren’t marked like the exams we took in school; or even uni. The entire paper is marked, and then the amount of marks a question is worth is decided based on how many people got it right. For example, a question 90% of people got right would be worth 1 point, but if that same question was only gotten right by 1% of people, it would be worth 10 points, so there is very little way to intelligently work for a better score. It’s also been proven by research that the correlation between GAMSAT percentile and completion of medical degree, academic attainment and retention by the NHS is not statistically significant. There are 2 sitting a year and you have to do them at the specified time and place, making it very hard for someone working shifts (like Faith) to get that test done. To add insult to injury, it is £250 PER ATTEMPT and you have pay for practice exams. Let’s not even get into how Faith is supposed to study for a test that is 5 hours long and 1 section reading comprehension, 1 section essay questions and then a third section which is UNDERGRADUATE level biology and chemistry and A2 level physics with no practice material all while working full time and being a single mother.

Secondly- the course is not entirely funded by student finance. Each year is 9.5k and only about 60% of this is covered by student finance. The other 40% ish is covered by an NHS bursary- except for the first year. This means you need to come up with about 3.8k (from memory) in tuition fees to sit the first year. Your NHS bursary doesn’t kick in until you pass first year and go into year 2. Faith will be paid more than a ‘regular’ nurse, but 4 grand is not a small sum of money and would be hard for her to pull together.

Finally- this is not a course that is offered part time (if they keep her in this show and pretend that she’s doing it part time or, even worse, as evening classes, I am going to LOSE MY MIND) and it’s very, very hard to have a part time job because of the heavy work load and eventual placement shifts. My fist degree was a BA and I had a job the whole time, but I also had low contact hours and no placements to do. There are no bursaries for living costs that I could find and there is no way you could live off a student finance maint loan, if they even offer you one, especially when you’re supporting 2 kids. Faith would not only need to live somewhere with a university that offered GEM, pay for and do well in the GAMSAT and have 4k to pay tuition her first year, she would also have to be able to stop working for 4 whole years.

This is not something she would do over the course of a few weeks, she would be worrying about funding, about living, about the kids and having a menty b about the GAMSAT. casualty could make a really good point here about how someone who would succeed as a doctor, and has committed her entire working life thus far to the NHS, financially could not afford to retrain. Instead I’m sure they are going to take the ‘night classes’ route and I am, in fact, going to LOSE MY MIND

[pure-ablution]

you’re so right about most things but sometimes it’s really hard to face the truth

I agree. It’s really, really hard to face the truth. It’s much easier to reblog posts showcasing piles of bright orange Hermès boxes and read about the glamorous debauchery of yacht parties and five-star hotels. It’s easy to think that it’s just a fun little game, that you’re using your femininity to get what you want, that the millionaire you’re secretly seeing will one day leave his wife and shower you in gifts and affection. I’m sorry, but it’s just not true.

Sex work, prostitution, whatever you want to call it, is dangerous. You’re putting yourself at risk of disease, abuse, and frankly, death. Since we all graduated high school together, two of my classmates have died from sex work-related causes: one was beaten by her husband in America, who bought her on a mail-order service. The other was accidentally choked too far by a client during an incall. Tumblr blogs and Reddit posts do not mention the danger you’re putting yourself in. They talk about vetting, sure, but one little oversight and it could all come crashing down. And if you’re desperate? You’re not going to refuse an offer just because of a few dodgy reviews. Read the story of the wonderful Brenda Myers-Powell and her memoir, ‘Leaving Breezy Street’, and come back and tell me that you want to sugar.

A lot of men use escorts or sugar babies, and a lot of them are married. The numbers don’t matter—every man who is paying for sex and/or companionship (and it’s almost never just companionship, unless he’s too old to get it up) is compensating for something. There’s a reason why he’s not getting women without offering them money first, and you’re not going to like that reason. Look, to put it bluntly: we don’t like cheaters, so why are we putting on a pedestal men who are so pathetic that they have to pay to cheat?

Some bloggers here are former sugar babies who have since returned to vanilla dating. I challenge you to name a single one who has managed to hold down a good man. It’s broken engagement after broken engagement, fight after fight. Men do not respect women who have sold their bodies. It’s a simple fact and you need to get it into your head. Forget all the religious and cultural factors that come with inherited wealth, it’s a matter of biology: a man needs to be sure that the child you’re carrying is his own, and if he has any reason to doubt that, then he’s going to up and leave. The only man who won’t up and leave is one who lacks respect for himself—and, quelle surprise, you’re going to bear the brunt of that low self-esteem of his.

Your client doesn’t respect you. That guy who offered me tuition in return for my being his girlfriend? Don’t think for a moment that he had even a shred of respect for me. He thought he could buy me, he thought I was like cattle in the marketplace. I’ve heard the way my male friends and acquaintances talk about women who they deem promiscuous, I’ve heard the venom in my extremely progressive and mild-mannered dorm neighbour’s voice when someone mentions the girls who sleep with their professors, and I’ve even heard my own Alajos mutter a few choice words about the girls his brother sees. You need to realise that sugaring or stripping isn’t the flex it’s made out to be, there’s no glamour in being a ‘high class heaux’, and you’re closing a hell of a door as soon as you enter the bowl.

[teenslib]

Silly question I'm sure you've answered, but how did you get your job with CPL?

Not silly at all! CPL can be a hard system to break into. I had a lot of good luck early on. Back when I first moved to Chicago, finding a job in my field (graphic design) was a lot harder than I'd expected, and eventually I was desperate for any steady employment. I went onto the city's website and saw that they were hiring 50 library pages (I later learned that Mayor Rahm Emmanuel had fired every single page in the system as part of a budget-cutting measure, and this was the second round of hiring pages back into the system). I had worked in my college library and passed the very basic testing required, and I was in!

I quickly realized that working in the library felt Right in a way no other job had. At the time, CPL's Teen Services department was pretty new, and about six months after I started, they were expanding and hiring 13 Associates. I applied, but even with the number of people they were hiring, I wouldn't have landed the job if it hadn't happened that a coworker I got along well with had interviewed before me and told me what some of the questions were.

Once I had that associate position, I felt secure enough to go to grad school and get my MLIS. I was lucky I didn't already have it, because CPL offers tuition reimbursement, so I ended up with half as much student loan debt as I would have otherwise. (A lot of people who get their MLIS before coming to work at CPL end up working as Associates or Clerks--positions that don't require an advanced degree--and not all of them make their way back into Librarian jobs.)

If you're looking to get into CPL, my first suggestion is to start low. CPL loves promoting people, so the higher the position, the more likely it is to be filled by an internal candidate. The system is almost constantly short of pages because so many of them move into higher positions within a year or so of starting. (That said, there have been a lot of changes in HR over the past year or so, and I think they are starting to open up to more external candidates.)

Once you're in, be friendly to your coworkers, talk with them, and when an interview opportunity comes up, try to pick the brains of people who've done the same or similar interviews. With a few exceptions, it's a supportive work environment, and most people are happy to help their colleagues move up the ladder.

[absolootcatastrophe]

This graphic is interesting, but some of the choices made for the visualization are... deceptive.

I want to say, first off, that I am an advocate for justice reform. I believe in restorative justice, and the way our prison system is set up right now encourages recidivism, not rehabilitation.

The issue I have is that the visualization is, on its face, flimsy. Its message might read to prison abolitionists as a stark picture that orange states prioritize prison more than education. It also paints an incomplete picture about the state of criminal justice in purple states. So, in my opinion, the visualization isn't making a clear statement, nor do I think the data is presented cleanly enough to make an actual argument.

Part of the reason that I bring this up is because there's a caveat to the graph that bothers me deeply. The graphic only counts institutions that offer bachelors degrees and there is no clear definition of what counts as a prison for the purpose of the visualization. In my state, there are are certain counties whose community colleges partner with local universities to offer bachelor's degrees on campus. Faculty from that university teach upper division courses, and students neither have to move nor worry about paying exorbitant private tuition elsewhere. That kind of accessibility in education isn't obvious here, despite the importance of those programs to low-income, first-generation students in their community. Furthermore, many of the states in purple have a large number of out of state and international students that travel for college, meaning that the college student population and subsequently, number of colleges, are going to be higher regardless of what the state does about prisons.

Of course, some of this is naturally incomplete because it's only going by one metric only, and that metric is only a count of institutions--not of student populations, not of prison populations, and certainly not of other important metrics like reentry statistics and recidivism.

I had to pull myself off of this soap box because I wanted to dig up data to help support other points I wanted to make. The long and short of it is that not all states publish all data about prisons and the justice system.

Also note: that purple and orange color scheme might be hard to read for those with colorblindness and other forms of visual impairment. This seems to have been made in Tableau, so if you ever use it for something like this, please make sure to switch to the inbuilt colorblind template they have instead.

That's your dataviz diatribe for the week? I guess? Maybe I should just start doing Tableau visualizations in makeover Monday...

Prisons/Jails vs Colleges - More prisons or more colleges?