#because the future isn't an endless pit of anxiety

[fadelikeclouds]

[a-human-washed-ashore]

Drought.

Once again, the air I breathe, is moist. The mould has been getting stronger, all round these concrete walls. These stairs that were once marble from the top, now force me to puke every hour or so. It's all so rotten. Fate is.

Truly an ant on these cursed plains of the planet, stuck in an endless loop of spine shattering stairs. How many more times do I have to slip and fall back down a floor or two until I can't stand up again?

Is my consciousness truly worth losing over wanting to leave this place? Can my nerves handle the needle'ish pain that shoves itself deeper when I fall?

Can I, handle the weight of my dreams?

Selfish, isn't it.

To be discontent with what I've got.

To aim for more.

To leave these moulded concrete walls.

Can a weak, little human being, change what they're fated with?

Can they break out of the cycle, that constantly eats them alive?

Can they strive to live, even if there's no reason to?

Cast those thoughts away as a hopeless wish and continue to squirm around in pain on these stairs that give you anxiety each time you stand up to climb them.

See what things like hope do you.

Nothing but a state of mind.

Give it an unfortunate event or two and you'll regret ever wanting for something more than you've got.

It's simply how it is.

It's how you work.

Craving control of things you can't fully grasp in the palm of your hand without shaking in place is pointless.

Let me tell you a story.

About a human, that once fell into a well, without realizing, that it'll change their life in a brink of a moment.

It was no simple well. The deeper they fell, the less they felt the numbing pain of hitting into each wall.

Until finally, his numb body felt the final thud of himself against the rotten to the brim bricks that told him "that's it".

And by a miracle, after many months, their pupils dialated once again. The sheer darkness surrounding them, their raw, bruised and open skin against the inside this endless pit that was now asociated with nothing but agony, filled them with hopelessness to such extent, they wish they were dead.

The human closed their eyes, thinking about all of the different possibilities they could leave this putrid place, while clenching their teeth that was forced onto them even after months to come.

Unable to bear it, they rolled over to their side, trying to find comfort in this hell spawn of a situation that they were thrown into. Only to fall asleep and drift into what was left of their half conscious brain.

That night, day or maybe evening, they dreamt of everything that they've exprienced before succumbing deep into these demonic clenches of their fate. Some memories sweet and exciting, some pointless and depressing. "The single thing that seperates my past with the current moment is that I was able, able to feel, experience whatever life gave me. How I wish, I would be able to thank everyone for every single thing, good or bad. Because now, I'm left with nothing but these damp walls and dead, rotted insects. God. How I wish...But no matter! I'll do my best to climb these blood stained clay bricks, I've still got plenty of places to go and many people to know! This isn't the end.", said the human, dreaming of the future that is yet to come. Unfortunetely, never to wake up again.