#because thats how ppl work???????????? god some of you need to take a fucking writing class

[strawberryspeachy]

I was scrolling through my pictures and found a guide for things to study to prepare one of my students for moving to america

Its pretty detailed and makes me wonder if im getting stupider as time goes on because i forgot about several things that i came up with without even researching 2 years ago

While looking at it i remembered

The boy asked me actually. He asked me about school in the states and he was worried about some of the classes. I tried to put his mind at ease for the transition and assure him that he’ll have help for most things.

He was half white and his dad was american. His dad was a writer actually and he told me about his books during a speaking test. So he spoke english fluently. Actually that was something he was worried about. He said his dad told him he has an accent - he really didnt.

But on that I started to ask him about things we do in English class back home. He had no idea about even the basics. Not surprising. They dont do things that involve critical thought in japanese schools.

I started briefly explaining some things to him and told him id make him a guide

Then. We were cut off

The teacher came and told me he needed to go eat lunch.

Later she came and apologized to me because he told her that he asked me for advise and that he was nervous realizing that he wasnt prepared for American English classes.

She thought i just went to talk to a kid. Stopped him from going to lunch. And was stressing him out.

Not because i do that but because thats how japanese teachers see foreigners here. Being weird idiots that bother ppl

And the thing is id forgotten about that till just now.

I HATED that feeling as an ALT. Im s weird person - but not a fucking weirdo who harasses children to talk me. I hated when the teachers tried to make me do that. And i hated when they assumed thats what happened whenever a student came to talk to me.

Theyd always look worried and annoyed when students were talking to me and theyd shoo them away. And i couldnt say its ok or anything. I couldnt say or do anything. Just smile and encourage the kid that the jaapnese teacher had a good reason for telling them to not talk to me

The thing is. I liked the teacher i just mentioned. She was one of the nicest ones i worked with as an ALT. I forgot about all the shitty times with her. She got nicer to me after my mom died. All the teachers did. I noticed and i know. But somewhat also forget.

It took a horrible thing for them to see me as a human. And to just look at what i do as another person and not a strange alien they must protect the children from.

I came to japan for a paid vacation. I wanted to explore and enjoy traveling going to concerts meeting ppl and just having a good time.

Id planned to go home and take care of my mom. I thought i could write stories while i was here and look for a job back home.

Then corona hit and ruined everything. I never even got to see my mom again

Never got to feel stability

Now the money ive saved up is worth half the value back home

I have nothing to fucking show for my time here

I cant afford to go back to america

My moms not there

I dont even have a house to return to

Im so much worse off now than when i left if i go back

But i also cant deal with that degrading treatment again. Even as a legit teacher in a school working through a company middleman im treated as less than.

As an ALT i was treated like a fucking idiot mascot play toy. Like equipment. Not a person.

And as a native teacher - last year - god do you know how fucking annoying it is to have ppl who can’t speak your native language tell you whats correct?!? To be told to keep students in line, motivate them, teach them, and entertain them all while having someone undermine you at every turn. Them complain the students dont respect you. I mean that was only with 5 kids in 432 students. And thats the other fucking problem. Last year my schools students were wonderful. They were friendly smart motived and kind. Except 2 bitchy girls and one boy - the girls turned like 3 more kids in their class against me. But the rest of my students liked me. And because the PE turned English teacher didnt like english he bitched about me and used those few kids against me. I have more than 420 actively improving their assignments and having full english conversations with me. I have the two loud classes all the teachers hate because they refuse to do their work - coming to me and asking if they did my assignments correctly and asking when they need help - but because a handful of kids dont like me - that teacher turns me into a bad guy and gets me the boot.

And thats the shit to expect with even the better job i have.

The school im not rn has a native teacher who uses his charisma to make life better for the native teachers at the school. This is the best im gonna get

I cant find another job. Im trying but too many ppl want to come to japan rn

I really cant afford to go back home

And im entirely out of the patience to be treated like a fucking slave. Literally at this point. Between the shit wages that keep going down and high costs. I cant afford the shit job that wants me to act like the japanese assholes dog. Treating me however they want and i have to just smile back

I want my mom. I want to go back to when i had my pets and my house and lived near my friends.

I keep saying it but its true. Im living the future that i used to have in my nightmares and wake up screaming from. I want to wake up again back before 2011

[fictionfixations]

jon and ace thoughts (i go off topic)

talk about NSFW seggs. its only mentions, thoughts.. okay. this is a really weird thought but its been plaguing me for awhile

and so like.. considering Jon's asexual, if they (Jon and Martin) ever did the thing, I'd think they'd take over the "Laughter During Sex" tag.

ive had this stuck in my brain for a LONg time. cause so like. cause people can not be interested in it themselves but say, like to make their partner feel good, or enjoy the emotional closeness of it? or maybe even not be interested in it themselves, or have a desire to, but willing to do it for their partner (okay that sounds wrong. but like. neutral i mean. not actively pursuing it, but arent repulsed by it either i mean, and thus wouldnt mind doing it for their partner, which id assume would still stick under ace spectrum?) this has been haunting me for awhile. i just needed to get this out here. its just some cute fluffy idea that's probably more them just acting normal, talking, yet the moment is a lot more intimate and close and lovey-dovey. dude they dont even have to move or anything like that, they could just sit (oh my god my sleep deprived brain said 'shit there' HAHA) there and be entirely content in each others arms, and itd be the cutest thing ever and 100% relationship goals but also in the event i ever desire to write this (doubtful because i generally dont write tooth-rotting fluff unless i have like an inspiration like that). i wont because i am terrified of doing a bad interpretation and that asexual doesnt even work that way in which.. yeah probably. i mean its probably best not to gatekeep or whatever and thats probably what im making it out to be but also like.. idk im just scared of being judged ig like 'nO THATS WRONG YOU IDIOT YOU BUFFOON YOU UTTER DUMBASS'

so im.. probably gonna leave. nsfw and jon far far away apart. because i mean i know you could just.. not make him ace. but like. ..no. that feels as cheap as turning characters trans just so they can have like straight sex. which theres nothing wrong with that in general because i mean 1. representation. 2. doing what makes you feel comfortable (like.. i mean id imagine if you had no idea how seggs worked youd have to ask a friend or something. and that gets awkward fast and thus its more comfy to just have what youre used to?) and etc etc but also haha it gets sexualized. so i perfectly understand that how some trans ppl might not be okay with that, just the same could be said for ace. i mean, there are two sides of a spectrum. for fucks sake im on the aromantic spectrum, it doesnt necessarily mean i dont feel any romantic attraction, but it still counts as on the spectrum, and therefore jon could be anywhere on that spectrum. he could be repulsed by seggs and find it gross or something, he could not have any desire to do so but doesnt have an opinion, he could not desire to do so but willling to do it with a partner, he could just enjoy making his partner feel good, he might just like fantasizing about it but hating it in practice, idfk theres a lot of different labels that nobody will know about, thats how it works, and things can vary a lot. and for obvious reasons no official source is gonna say what kind jon might be, its not even their business, which gives people a lot of creative liberty if they want to do anything with it. im just worried someone out there might have this stereotypical thought of what ace ppl are like and wrongly defending them, or maybe that the ppl themselves are uncomfortable with it or something like that. and i mean i cant speak for them, and heck maybe ill find out im on the ace spectrum who knows, but i still wouldnt be able to speak for them because i as a person, know i can feel and have romantic and sexual attraction, and that can be very different for people who dont have those same feelings or those who have no interest in it whatsoever. thus. to simplify it. my interpretation of ace jon is where he doesn't have any interest in it himself (or maybe he would be repulsed), but wouldnt mind doing it to make his partner feel good (there doesn't even have to be any penetration whatsoever), to do it for his partner, or to just enjoy the emotional closeness of it.

but im also kinda terrified im in the wrong here and this is a false interpretation thats not ace at all. so. yeah. just getting these thoughts out here.

[githvyrik]

stan beau and marisha ray or die

[ot3]

i was wondering if youre so inclined if u would mind explaining whats so good about disco elysium? all i ever see ppl say is that its communist and theres old gay men which is like. well cool but that doesnt tell me anything about it actually. it seems like a lot of reading but its not like thats stopped me before (<- read all of orv on your reccommendation and hasnt stopped thinking about it since)

disco elysium is just a really meaningful piece of work. For starters, the prose is beautiful when it's not being funny as well, the world is rich and intricate and fully believable, and the characters are deeply compelling. Disco Elysium has you playing as an amnesiac detective coming out of the tail end of a more or less suicidally thorough bender a completely different person. It's up to you to pick what kind of person he is, but you can't choose to be Not a fuckup. You're still just a fuckup. You're always a fuckup.

I really found the way disco elysium dealt with mental illness to be super refreshing and honestly the most cathartic almost any media has been on the subject, for my personal tastes. I find a lot of media where mental illness comes into play leans either too indulgent or too saccharine for me. By indulgent i mean it really wants you to buy into How Sad we're supposed to feel about our character's mental state. And by saccharine I mean stuff that's focused almost exclusively in portraying mental illness in an almost hurt/comfort way, for lack of a better term. Disco elysium is not about the poignant, tragic beauty of mental illness nor is it about taking this character on a journey of Coping and Healing, although you could definitely play it closer to one way or another. Disco elysium is a game about being at war with your own brain and body, but also you still also need to work because. Well. It's your job, dipshit. It's humorous, it's crass, it's completely off the wall, capable of balancing the absurd and mundane in severe extremes to result in the realest feeling portrayal of mental illness I've come across. It handles addiction in what I'm sure is a similar way, but I can't speak as much on that subject because I don't have any firsthand experience with being an addict despite my best attempts to develop some sort of chemical dependency in the last two years.

But also yes, the game is very much about communism. Everyone saying that is absolutely correct but I think it's hard for people who haven't played it to understand just how About Communism it is. The author of the game and the novella its based off of is a self-proclaimed communist from estonia. This is not a western perspective on communism, nor is it a truly soviet one. It's a perspective on communism from someone who grew up in a country that was occupied by the soviet union multiple times and only regained its independence in 1991. It's a really fascinating thing to engage with because it just approaches politics so differently than any western stuff I've seen.

The game is in many ways miserably depressing and wholly pessimistic, but it's not the pessimism of the truly misanthropic doomer, it's the kind of pessimism you find in someone who is looking for any reason not to be pessimistic and just not finding any. It's a narrative that looks into it's main character, and looks into it's own world and is desperately searching for any reason to believe there's hope there and coming up empty handed every time but, god damn it, still looking. I think that right now something with that sort of message is important. It's a piece of writing that says to it's audience 'things are bad and getting worse, and we can't pretend otherwise, but this is your world. live in it.' And also it's really fucking funny. It's really one of those things I think as many as people a possible should experience. You won't find anything else like it in the world right now.

[cyancherub]

oml ok i just finished chapter 4 and holy fuc kgifnh this is all out of order bc my brain just died after reading but i lost it when reader asked for a kiss and he was like "EWWW YUCK" LMAOO GET OUT OF HERE SUKUNA PLS but oh maaan it's really hard for me to pick up reading these days but god your writing (ik i gushed about it earlier but i can't help it :')) you describe things so well but still make it easy enough to understand what's going on. and i love how you capture the inner turmoil reader faces with all of these things--idk i enjoyed reading the struggle to accept that this is reality and then her descent into caving in is just... damn i'm so fucking speechless.

you are truly something else with how you write smut, and how DETAILED you go into it. but also the B U I L D U P is so enchanting and interesting with not only wyws but like everything else i've read of yours AHH dfjkhs im gonna read your sugar daddy aki fic next i am so excite but thank you for sharing this work it's very unique and god. the creativity you've gone with for sukuna astounding to me i can't express how much i enjoy reading your works no matter the genre dfjhkdsjkf

AJSDJKASKJ I UNDERSTAND THE BRAIN DYING AFTER READING BECAUSE THATS HOW I FELT AFTER WRITING IT TOO IT WAS JUST VERY INTENSE BUT LMFAOOOOO im crying HE IS SUCH A BASTARD why can't we get a kiss sir !!! </3 AND AAAA THANK U IM STOKED to hear that things are all understandable ESPECIALLY in part 3 and 4 there were so many mouths and arms jDFJHDFJH so i was concerned at some points that ppl would be confused so i am glad that is not the case!! AND I LOVED WRITING THE READER'S INTERNAL STATE because she is a bit bananas herself so it was fun writing the little shift!!!!

BUT ;____; I WILL CRY OMG shakes u by the shoulders THANK U for saying that i love LOVE writing buildup it's my absolute favorite part and it's so much fun to me ;v; and i really TRULY appreciate u always reading and supporting me and taking the time to send me nice things IT KEEPS ME GOING & KEEPS ME MOTIVATED !!!! pt. 5 is in the works im looking forward to wrapping everything up !!!

i hope that u enjoy sugar daddy aki HE IS OUR HUSBAND. <3 but no THANK U for reading and for this i am locking it away for whenever i need a pick me up SNIFFLES

[saintcheryl]

I HAVE BEEN SENT BY COMMUNISTMISHACOLLINS FOR YOUR INFO TO ASSIST OUR RAGING AGAINST RICH WHITE MEN. FEEL FREE TO VENT AND I WILL CHEER YOU ON FROM OVER HERE

OH BOY. OKAY. yes i listened to the whole podcast

let me preface this by saying.....i want to like this guy so bad. within reason like i usually tune out his lukewarm liberal takes like, thats 2 b expected, but some things in this podcast PISSSSSSSSED ME OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

the biggest thing was just......jerking joe biden the FUCK off. just, minutes of talking about how great joe biden is. described as "someone we can trust" and he said biden is "someone with integrity" multiple times, and he and alyssa talked about how they feel like things r better now bc trump is out of office and like. that is the number one way to piss me off!!!!!! biden is not really that much better he goes back on all the shit he says and so many terrible awful disgusting problems from trump admin are still problems because....guess what.........it wasnt just bc of trump hes just the guy who made a lot of shit worse or brought it to the forefront of the Political Discourse but like! kids r still in cages and now every lib who defended biden is justifying it. et cetera. not to mention biden is A RAPIST????????

and the FUCKING THING that got me too. the FUCKING thing. was alyssa was talking about the metoo movement and her experiences with assault and how awful and traumatic it felt when it wasn't handled well. and then they go RIGHT INTO RIDING BIDEN'S DICK!!!!!!!!!!!! they go SO hard on it its honestly fucking hilarious how deeply and intensely and reverently they praise this man in this podcast. yes, let's discuss how assault is bad and terrible, now let's go praise the rapist. woo!

honestly id get it if like. misha (and other liberal activist celebs etc) just like.....tolerated biden. were like, ok sure we got this guy, he's not great but it's something, we will do what we can. i get that! but to place so much emphasis on how we can trust him and how he has integrity and how everything feels better now? NO!!!!!!! we can NEVER trust politicians because if we do they do more fuck shit and get away with it!!!!!!!!!! and the "wow everything feels better now that we have biden in office, i don't have to think about the president and all the bad shit all the time now haha!" maybe YOU don't have to think about it. but most people you claim to want to help do still have to think about it. most people you claim to want to help are still living with the same conditions and the president is doing nothing to help in any substantial way. nothing has changed for a lot of people! and now others are even more complicit bc they fall back on "oh trump's not in office anymore so things r better" NO!!!!!!!!!!

like. misha is still doing political work i'm not saying he isn't, but the way he's going about it while praising the administration feels........gross and bad? i am not an expert by any means but like. it feels bad that he's got this reputation of being a Paragon Of Wokeness and being a Big Leftist Activist when he's like......very centrist nationalist liberal "the government can be fixed" which is. not left lmfao. it doesn't mean much. and excessively praising biden and saying things about him that are just......clearly and provably incorrect? dmitri i have some Words for you

i often see ppl saying "well at least hes doing more than other celebrities" like yes! he is, indeed! like i said he's done some cool stuff, he's making some impact and that's good. i do NOT want to write that off whatsoever. but idk like.....with say, jackles, i dont expect shit from him. jackles could say a lukewarm lib take and id be like ah, of course, i am not bothered by this. but from misha it's disappointing bc he tries to be a political activist and is actively involved in things and my god do i want to like him. it's BECAUSE i like him that this stuff upsets me!!!!!!!! and it's because i like him that i think ppl gotta be conscious and constructively critical of ppl and what they say. if someones defending everything he says just bc he's Misha Collins thats not at all a healthy way of engaging w ppl in the public eye. im not saying bully him please god dont do that, i wouldnt even say this stuff To him bc i know it wouldnt do shit, but i like havin it out there so other ppl and fans of him can think about it and be aware of it. pobody's nerfect, sometimes ur fav is a democrat

i don't wanna discount the things misha does do, he does a lot of good shit! but like.........some things i cannot forgive or ignore and like. tldr this podcast left an awful taste in my mouth and it feels like at best he's incredibly out of touch with what struggling people in #ThisCountry actually need, and the way he talks about biden and american politics in general just feels very irresponsible and counterproductive

they talked about some other stuff too but thats mostly what i retained lmfao

[zhuhongs]

Since rewatching the guardian drama after reading the novel has made me mad about how bad and good both of them are I am Obligated to write out a list of what I think the perfect merger btw both versions of canon are. This will be in list format otherwise I’ll end up writing like 6k words again. 

TLDR: the genre stays as supernatural from the novel and not Sci fi, bc that was rlly not fleshed out well. Shen Wei is a ghost king, and all the dixingren are ghosts or demons like originally intended. The ghost race naturally exists and wasn't born from kunluns shoulder fire or anything. They just exist separate from humans. Not all ghosts are former humans, some people are just born as ghosts, like Shen Wei. Zhao Yunlan has the guardian whip and all the cool stuff that comes with the Guardian order.  Overall, i’d keep the novel’s plot and relationship progression and ending without the backstory. Instead the backstory is a merger of both canons. From the drama I’d keep the characterization and themes as well as like half the extra cases and omit the other half. 

I’ll be elaborating much further on my ideal backstory and other stuff under the cut bc the rest is 1.5k and I don’t wanna clog the dash 

Okay SO In my ideal backstory there are two timelines just like the drama but the mythology of the book. The god Kunlun is actually zyl that went back in time and became a god. But the one that went back isn’t the current Zhao Yunlan. There has to be an original timeline where the god Kunlun never existed. Thus the great seal nor the separation of the three realms don’t exist either. Zhao Yunlan must go back in time to become a god, meet Shen Wei in the past, and create the current timeline where the separation exists but isn’t perfect. The current timeline is the one that the majority of the series takes place in.

In the original timeline, Zhao Yunlan is just some dude living in a world where ghosts, fairies, and all other beings just live in a giant free for all and it's kinda just a mess. 

Like there’s government in modern context and all and all races live with each other but there's constant tension. ZYL works at some equivalent of the SID (same staff and side characters, but novel vers. Lin Jing is a monk, CSZ a zombie, etc) to protect people and all that and their job is rather hard. One day encounters the thousands year old ghost king Wei (who isnt shen wei yet bc zyl gave him that name in the future) who works alone as like a rouge cultivator of sorts. He lives on the surface undercover as a professor still bc he’s trying to not catch Yezun’s attention but does all the stuff he normally does as Heipaoshi. The two ally together for a case and bc they both have the same goals of getting all races to live in peace. At current, there are forces working together to decimate the human race, all lead by Yezun

As they work together they become closer and all that. Shen Wei tells him about how he was unable to prevent the great war 5 thousand years ago and neither could the gods so  he’s spent the past 5 thousand years trying to make up for it. As they search for ways to stop Yezun, they gather the 4 hallows and learn how to use them to manipulate time so ZYL can go into the past and stop the great war and separate the three realms (living, dead, ghost).  Shen Wei wants to go back with him but he can’t because he was alive all those years ago so if he goes back it will create a paradox. ZYL promises he’ll find Shen Wei in the past and create a timeline where they could be together in peace (that is the current timeline)

When goes back he becomes the god kunlun because there needed to be a new god born at the time to prevent the war.  Also this time traveller looked promising to Nuwa, Fuxi, and Shennong. And I know in the guardian universe gods are usually born and ppl don’t become gods. EXCEPT this can happen when a god passes on smth from their body onto them bc that did happen in the novel with Kunlun making shen wei a demigod. And since fu you and ma gui are supposed to be gods Nu Wa and Fuxi I think that when they die, they should make ZYL a god and that's how this stuff happens.

So like ZYL explains to the gods the time he came from and how he wants to save everything and they make him a god and he works to save everything just like he did in the drama but this time with the novel plotline. During this time he meets young Shen Wei (he’s still like a hundred or so years old) and they get close and all the stuff from the backstory happens. He gives him his name, all that good stuff. The entire time doesn’t let him know that he’s from the future or that his real name is ZYL. He just poses as kunlun. 

The two of them alongside the other gods (who still die at the times they do in the novel) work together to end the war and establish the great seal and set up the cycle of reincarnation, per the current timeline. Although the seal and cycle of reincarnation aren’t perfect. Gods can’t reincarnate, and ghosts still don’t have souls. And just like the novel, doing all of this kills ZYL bc it takes a lot of energy to create the seal even though it isn’t perfect.

Shen Wei of course doesn’t want ZYL to die and zyl says it's alright because he fixed the timeline so there must One day they will meet again and ZYL reveals the truth about the timeline to shen wei before he dies. This becomes the promise that Shen Wei mentions to meet again. Before he dies, ZYL gives him the shoulder fire as a memento ( i still like the candy wrapper necklace deal but i’ll take this too. Maybe both.. The pendant is still just rlly cool.. Gay ppl)

Shen Wei knows gods can’t enter the cycle of reincarnation and still makes the deal with Shennong to strip Kunlun of his godhood and let him reincarnate. This sets us into the novel timeline where isn’t allowed to meet any of zyl’s reincarnations before he becomes zyl otherwise he will die and also fuck up the timeline. The same 5 thousand years of pining still ensue bc Gay Ppl and i love making Shen Wei suffer but he doesn’t have the shrine room thing bc i think thats weird and yea.. Bad. 

In the meantime Shen Wei does a lot of things mostly just protecting the great seal and working for Hell to keep the peace but still does other stuff. He still watches out for ZYL’s reincarnations but doesn’t do much besides make sure they don’t die a premature death. They meet again finally at the beginning of the series and the timeline resumes like canon. And that's my master plan that merges both drama logic and novel logic while making a much better timeline. (I hope that makes some sense)

Da Qing is still Kunlun’s pet cat and important. Novel backstory applies to him. And I already mentioned him kinda but as for Yezun (Gui Mian in the novel) his deal is similar as in the drama but just a ghost. And he is a big player in the great war, he thought Shen Wei abandoned him as a kid but they were just separated. Shen Wei doesn’t know it's him till the end of the war and couldn’t stop him in the OG timeline and vows to bring him to justice and make amends. Shen Wei continuously tries to explain things to him but he just won’t listen and is imprisoned in hell bc yk… war criminal stuff and yeah he’s the main antagonist trying to break the great seal bc he’s still made about the past. Idk. Yezun wasn’t well written in the novel OR the drama so like… honestly he just needs to be completely rewritten and I don’t care enough about that. He can just be a weak villain idk

the drama characterization stays the same for everyone else bc found family go brr. However for Lao Chu i… hmm… i think he should still be a zombie but the reason he killed someone should be related to his brother. I like that addition and then shen wei realized his sentence was unjust and exempted him. i like that storyline merger. bc the brother thing and him admiring Heipaoshi was drama only. in the novel lao chu just murdered some kid for a rlly whatever reason.

uhhh in terms of the cases… id make adjustments to most of them. i think the li qian case should be like the drama bc the novel just had her as a murderer and it was boring. 

For the mountain river awl one was fine… novel version was funnier and more interesting action wise tbh… rip zyl and his exorbitant flirting. uhhh the whole reveal that shen wei was the soul reaper thing was kinda… ehh in the novel but i did love the comedy of afterwards Shen Wei pretending he went into cardiac arrest when he actually just… has no pulse bc he's a ghost. 

ID KEEP THE WORTH IT SCENE AND RAIN SCENE… THOSE FUCK SO HARD… I love the drama for adding those every damn day. the novel version of zyl losing his sight sucked and was sooo boring.  Keep the drama version on that.

also id keep dr. cheng. i'm very pro dr. cheng and her friendship with shen wei it adds so much to his character imo. keep the fruit seller man and his wife for the merit brush..omg it adds SO MUCH the way the drama did it.. like the drams build up with the novels pace of that arc.. mwah. it felt like it dragged a bit in the drama but if it went faster and without the hospital ep and with sha ya (sorry sha ya) that would've been so good. tho keep novel version of da qings memory loss and lao li. that was rlly impactful.

id say keep some of the cases like the mirror one, the eyes doctor one, etc. just to like.. yk have more to fill in general.. novel pacing but drama characterization without the bs that wasn't fully realized. and novel ending ofc. And that’s it!!

I hope most of this makes some amount of sense  but it probably doesn’t. In my head it all tracks but like ik most of u don’t know anything about the novel so this sounds like gibberish. Also I know this would literally never happen but this is MY ideal merger of the two canons that I feel compelled to expand on for some reason. Anyways, as io said,, we need to rebuild guardian. Like literally let me and the mutuals write Guardian and it will be 500 times better.

[normal-thoughts-official]

What do you think of Raphael and Camille's relationship?

not much i guess? at least not much i havent said before. i think its pretty clear that raphael has no loyalty for her and if anything had been waiting to dethrone her for a long time. i think rapha had been working to earn her trust and get rid of her for years now

first of all because like i know that's sh's writing being bad but his little coup over her was just so easy? it sounds to me like he had been getting ppl on his side and ready to overthrone her when the time came for quite a while. plus it's obvious that he was never in accordance with her shit - he went behind her back SO MANY TIMES and it was always for ppl he doesnt even know and has no reason to help? in fact has reasons to hate, since theyre shadowhunters

plus rapha knows about magnus and camille's history (remember how he deliberately didn't involve magnus in the clan thing because he didnt want magnus to have to deal with her? yeah) so of course he fucking hates her lmao. it is one of my treasured hcs that he joined her clan Exactly To Dethrone Her. rapha can play the long con, and i dont see a reason why hed join her clan as opposed to any other when she wasn't his sire and he had a home with magnus. i mean sure being in the NYC clan is convenient but ur telling me theres one (1) vampire clan for this entire town???? im calling bs like sorry

anyway yeah thats it. as for Camille's feelings towards him, i think she thought she had him wrapped around her finger and that he was no threat, which is a testament to how well rapha managed to play the long con, ESPECIALLY since he was going behind her back and freeing simon and giving his body back to the shadowhunters and all that crap. again he didnt even know him. like i know he did it because rapha believed it was right and he didnt want that to weight on his conscience but still, its obvious that he had to do a lot of shit he doesnt agree with for camille because shes a weirdo like that, and still he managed to go out of his way to help her victims AND have her trust pretty much until the end while organizing an uprising against her. like we have to stan

not that like camille liked him, by "trust" i mean mostly that she believed he was harmless which is why he was her second-in-command imo. not like, something meaningful udndidndod but still. and god knows how many years or even decades hes spent in her clan, so like. props to him? yeah

and to some point i think this has to do with rapha's moral standing. i had always thought that hes one of the most complex characters in shadowhunters because we got this guy who at the same time is obsessed with attoning for his Sins™ and self harms on the regular and blames himself for everything but whos also like. willing to kill and even turn on the ppl he loves to do that (like when he basically held magnus down and tried to kill clary during the soul sword thing)

and like once again! rapha was right lmao like im sorry but he was, her existence was a threat to millions of ppl and she was being so reckless like she didnt CARE and choosing to save her over millions is just. some MC bullcrap. but youd expect that someone with so many guilt issues and a sense of loyalty as strong as rapha would at least have a hard time taking that decision

and like i know it's the racism and the need to villainize him because hes a vampire! but in the good shadowhunters that exists in my head, it's because living with camille for so long he was forced to do a lot of shit that he would rather die than have to do, shit that compromised his moral standards to their very core, and in doing that he was still helping keep the world safe because he was no good if he didn't earn camille's trust so he could get rid of her and save the vampires. and also a part of him already feels so tainted by all the things he had to turn a blind eye to, i think its kinda like. might as well add another sin. better him than someone who still hasn't had to compromise, know that pain. and at the same time that only makes his obsession with atonement stronger

(because this is the good sh that exists in my head, mandatory disclaimer that im ignoring the heidi plotline because it was not only ooc nonsense but also like... nonsense plot-wise? i am once again asking why the fuck hed experiment on heidi who wasn't a daylighter when he could have gone for simon since he's so evil and willing to do terrible things for his sister or whatever. also this post is about the show not the books and idc what happened in the books)

anyway no wonder he was ready to fucking kill simon when he freed her like could you imagine spending decades compromising ur own beliefs and moral standards just so in the end you could get rid of an evil dictator and then some MOTHERFUCKER just fucking frees her because of his stupid childhood crush?????? bruh id be fucking livid. and thats not even considering what it meant for those he loved - his clan, magnus, etc

but anyway yeah those are my thoughts basically. i think rapha had always intended to take her down because 1- she was fucking terrible and hurting so many ppl including vampires: 2- he knew of her past with magnus and he was Protective. and he was very clear headed about it and managed to play a long con in a mind destroying game pretty well and just like damn we stan. thats all hdbdjd

[actualbird]

Opening Line Tag Game :DDD

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

was tagged by @dont-offend-the-bees!! thanks for the tag, newt!!!! ur dghda fics holds a special place in my heart even though ive sailed away to fandoms afar.

well, here’s the first lines of the past 20 fanfics i posted onto my ao3, starting from most recent going back!!

When he gets home, Signora is leaning against the door of his apartment. (something like a death wish, Genshin Impact)

It’s a somber affair, when it’s time for Azhdaha to fade away. (it's a hard rock life for us, Genshin Impact)

Azhdaha is born into a world of darkness. (you give me miles and miles of mountains, Genshin Impact)

It starts with one of Jean’s many romance novels. (what's inside? that's causing this malfunction, Genshin Impact)

Ajax didn’t think about it much, before. (i forget the difference between seduction and arson, ignition and cognition, Genshin Impact)

The ceremony is a small affair. (if it was important, we would have remembered, Genshin Impact)

He wakes up alone, shaking and bathed in darkness. (our endless and impossible journey toward home is in fact our home, Genshin Impact)

Kaeya doesn’t have baby pictures— what with the whole abandoned by his birth father at the ripe age of six at the doorstep of a winery tycoon shebang—but ever since he did get adopted, Crepus Ragnvindr took basically a million pictures of his two boys through every single year of their life. (angry react, Genshin Impact)

How strangely time passes; sometimes it soars like a feathered sliver in the sky, hopeful and free. (it's time to leave and turn to dust, Genshin Impact)

Thankfully, Charles is the one manning the bar when Kaeya gets to the Angel’s Share tavern. (ain't i the best you had?, Genshin Impact)

Life as a Fatui grunt isn’t as fabulous as the Snezhnayan rumor mill makes it out to be. (we don't even have dental..., Genshin Impact)

Here’s the thing: Childe’s career was going fucking great. (put your hands on me, Genshin Impact)

In the beginning, there was a land that was left by the gods to rot. (take this cup away from me, Genshin Impact)

Childe is in a domain hunting down intel when things go a bit fun. (taste of poison paradise, Genshin Impact)

Everybody in Pelican Town knows of the new resident, but knowing anything substantial about him is something else altogether. (a fullered blade and a scalpel, Stardew Valley)

Ronnie’s known for quite a while that Harvey is, well...endowed. (baby, you got lucky cause you're rocking with the best, Stardew Valley)

Ronnie has always been different from other people. (legend has it that the moss grows on the north side of the trees, Stardew Valley)

Spring comes, as it always does. (that's what seasons do, Stardew Valley)

The universe lurches. (just enjoy the show, Polygon Cyberpunk Red)

It comes in stages, not all at once. (not quite 20/20 vision, Hades)

can you believe these past 20 fics were ALL posted this year???? I WROTE 20 FANFICS IN 5 MONTHS....ON GODS THIS PANDEMIC HAS GOTTA END, SKJDFHKJSDF.

anyway //steeples hands. some patterns ive noticed as i put this list together

i almost always use the first sentence to establish either setting or premise. i guess i do this because, personally, when i enter a scene, the first thing i want to know is what im supposed to be physically experiencing or what im supposed to be emotionally focused on, if that makes sense? i need to Know!!!!! which means that my first lines honestly, in my opinion, are a bit boring akjfkbjfkjbfd. i gotta set down the bedrock or else everything else will be wobbly!!! i write my fics like i construct a fuckin jenga tower, i swear akjfbakjsf

something i do keep in mind with all my first lines is the very simple yet integral rule: a sentence’s purpose is to do what it needs to do, but also to make the reader want to read the next sentence. this, i guess, is why nearly all of my first lines feel like a cliffhanger. thats on purpose because what i want to do with my first line is get u to keep reading. in a sense, my first lines are working triple time. they 1) do whatever it is they need to do for the story, 2) establish setting/premise, and 3) push you onwards to the next sentence like a baby sea turtle waddling to the ocean.

related to “triple time” but that was something i learned from a brutal fiction professor who was wonderful and intelligent! but also made me shift out of the fiction track in college HAHA. his basic belief was that sentences cant just be doing One Thing. you’re going waste a lot of time and a lot of words and lose your reader, if you go at things like that. sentences have to multitask. i am very aware of this with opening lines...

and last but not least, all these opening lines undoubtedly suck on their own HAHKJBKDFJDJF

i....dont think i have a favorite opening line of all of the ones i listed tbh. like i said, all my opening lines, on their own, dont exactly Wow, so im lukewarm about all these haha. i think....this is indicative of me having to step up my opening line game......

//jazz hands. anyway theres that! and as for ppl to tag, i am notoriously shy when it comes to writer tag games, but im breaking my shyness to tag @listentotheshityousay and @theinternationalacestation . 

no need to do it if u dont wanna, friends!!! jus know i adore yalls’ writing so very very much

[ughgclden]

a third one??

i’ve got a pretty relaxed day today, so coming and going with responses is easier, downtime more conducive to spending 10/15 minutes writing you another letter, and i apologise in advance for the length of this one

in regards to my friend, she is really sweet, but we seem to have found ourselves in that dynamic when i never know if she’s being gay (platonic) or being Gay (romantic) and i’m already fairly emotionally stunted. house and i are alike on that front /hj

it was nice to be hugged like that, greeted like that, though, a reminder that it’s possible there are some people who do look for me in crowded rooms, even if it’s more likely than not that i’m not there. (incidentally, consider this and every other letter my way of hugging you)

i think if i had to teach mainly basics i would struggle, since i tend to go quickly and get excited, sometimes forgetting brains work differently than mine when it comes to retaining and learning information. i can see your point about the emotional support teacher though, i think there would be a… certain demographic that would be drawn to me, if you catch my drift /hj

i had an english teacher like that, she once gave me extra points on an essay for referencing dead poets society, and even though i don’t have her anymore, i still put her down as a reference, and email her from time to time anyway, she helped me a ton.

i think bookstore bee would be lovely, and it reminds me of aziraphale, which fits with you quite well. plus the best bookshops always have the pretty ladies behind the counters.

as for the other thing, i don’t want to minimise it by saying “it’s okay,” although that is my first impulse, mainly because objectively, it’s not, and because i know if someone said anything like that to someone i cared about i would. definitely get myself into trouble dealing with the bastard with the audacity to hurt my friends. that and i have the same anger for people like that, with the caveat that they can get away with directing it to me. truthfully, i’m used to it, which isn’t ideal, i admit. growing up, i went to a. forced integrated school, bringing in kids from other districts to raise test scores, and as most things turn out to be, the bussed in “smart” kids were mainly white, and the kids who originally lived in the neighbourhood were all hispanic. so naturally, as a hispanic kid from a different district in the gifted program, both sides hated me. i’ve got more than ample experience and that’s what makes it terrible. but i digress

the highs always comes with the lows, but in the words of ben platt, “when you’re high, i’ll take the lows, you can ebb and i can flow,” and i’ll be here to complement you in any way i can for as long as you’ll let me do so.

presenting is definitely scary, i recently had a debate kid ask me, “what’s the point of speaking if you’re not proving anyone wrong?” when i said i wasn’t in debate, but in speech, the sister program. the truth is, the point is telling your truth, even through other peoples’ words. sometimes we can’t find the words, but have no problem finding the memories that make pieces impactful, and true.

i bet in knitted jumpers with a skirt and docs you look lovely, and like someone remus lupin would be good friends with. i gravitate somewhere between remus and sirius, the two gay sides of me constantly battling that one out, so i end up with some… interesting outfits. cruella de ville is a goal, quite honestly, although i suppose technically shes classified as a villain, but then again, i’m a mentally unwell unstraight individual, so villains hot.

bee, if there’s anything i strive to do, it’s make you feel important, because you are, at the very very least, to me. and thats not silly, because believe me the sentiment is shared, thank you for spending time on me, love. i cant say it enough.

you are important, to reiterate, you are good, and kind, and the world could use more people like you. i only hope those lucky enough to experience your physical presence are sensible enough to know what a privilege they have in knowing you.

all of my love, bee, and a million wishes for a good day, good night, sweet dreams, and restful sleep.

until we meet again,

(likely tomorrow)

yours,

✨

please never apologise for the length of these, star. i'd read a whole novel of anything you say

it should me apologising for how terribly late my response is - i'm never much good at writing when i'm tired, or doing anything when i'm tired really. i'm one of those people who completely shuts down, and i wasn't going to torture you with my drowsy ramblings. im however writing this now with a fresh cup of coffee, so let's hope that helps

not knowing the distinction between gay and Gay is the worst; i can sympathise slightly on that front. when i was still figuring shit out i never knew if i just really loved my friend or really Loved my friend - it was all platonic, i know that now, but it was certainly a time. i think i'd always find myself searching for you in a crowded room - you have the sort of energy that draws people to you

you'd certainly draw in that certain demographic, i know it. although i think being the lgbt kids support teacher would be the largest honour bestowed onto a person, and no one else would suit that more perfectly than you. that's so sweet oh my god - i'm not too sure if my teacher had ever watched it, as sadly she never referenced it :( but she was very much a keating for me

i'm glad you know it's certainly not okay and i'm so fucking sorry that there's some ignorant assholes out there who think their stupid close-minded ideas and thoughts are important and need to be voiced, and they're justified in saying that shit. i truly hope things aren't as bad as they once were and if i could, i'd hurt anyone who's ever said that stuff to you (i can't fight, but i'd give it my best shot)

i totally agree with you- not everything has to be to prove a point, or make someone see something the way you do. sometimes it's just to communicate, to tell tales of love and beauty, to tell your own stories and thoughts. sometimes it's nice to talk just for the sake of it.

i think a mix of remus and sirius is wonderful - i aspire to have the sort of energy that sirius black gives off but alas, i'm more of a remus (or even a peter.. but we don't talk about that..) and yes villains are SO HOT OH MY GOD!!! yes they are bad ppl but they are hot and sexy so they can do as they please <3

we could go back and forth about this all day - but thank you lovely. not only do these make me feel important and loved, but they also let me talk about the smaller things, the little things that sometimes seem irrelevant because the world spins a little too fast to focus on the mundane. but even with you, the mundane is something spectacular.

have a lovely day, i hope it's filled with little bits of magic and wonder and joy. all my love star <33

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Tma season 2 notes baybeee

I made myself take several breaks so I could give my frie d who is listening to it at the same time as me a chance to catch up. Honestly just posting them so I have them saved somewhere but whatever.

ep 41: real graham wrote keep watching before he was replaced. Jon feels like he's being watched. But they werent replaced by things related to the eye. It's the web that's on the box that replaces them. Endless hallways and doors to nowhere. I bet nicholas will have ideas what entity this relates to. If it even does. They're like the tunnels in the one with the builder guy. Tunnels closing in etc. Also like the cave diving one. He's assuming it's just one

ep 42: so 100 gecs? (IM SORRY I LIKE 100 GECS BUT LMAO) so there's some entity related to music right? There's the piper episode and the 27 w/ the calliope. Ah yes, this season is gonna be the season of Paranoid!Jon

ep 43: section 31? fucking books. god no. smashed lights? cult lady did that. covered the lights too. she mentioned a spooky clown doll. thats not random.

ep 44: is this that same circus that got mentioned before? it is! the pipe organ! pop off organ! pipe off! mouth on the stomach! yes! mouths in unusual places my beloved!

ep 45: antiques! like that one ep!

ep 46: every time books get mentioned i sigh. hhh sus smells. it got brighter. I get the vibes occasionally that the dark and the eye are sorta at odds with eachother. GRRR BARK BARK LEITNER. ayyy ex altiora. entity go brr. which entity do we thing it is? my guess is The Dark. The book buyer's name is Mike. He has scars? Electricity? The childhood friend of the guy who got it later on perhaps? The Vast? its formatted like an entity idk. This happened before the other one. He got trapped in the wood carving. a win for the web lol spiders go brr

ep 47: did i hear spiral? ITS THE NOT THING FROM THE EPISODE WITH NOT GRAHAM "it didnt move, it shifted" is like the exact same sentence as before. ay john's starting to remember. the laughing woah thats weird. is "michael" one of the entities? "you make it seem like theres a war" supports my theory that theres a struggle between a couple of the entities. I said i thought it was the eye and the dark i believe but im not sure. its whatever entity michael is vs the worms? what did nicholas say the worms were again? The Corruption? still dont know which one michael is tho.

Had to take a break after that episode. smth about the quality of michael's voice makes me feel like im gonna slip into one of those states where it feels like nothing is real, so i got a nice cold glass of water.

ep 48: jesus ok this one's kidna corny. you're telling me love made the crowd go away come on now. Ur losing it big J. also shouldnt it be more sus that "sasha" is so unaffected by the worm incident/ finding of gertrude's body

ep 49: haven't we heard hector's name before? oh is he the crime guy? fucking jared... so it's a throat? chompa chompa. (it's just a little bit hot) the good part about these episodes is that we know whoever's telling the story isn't gonna die. even if it's a close call, they're not dead. hotworth? ok not jared keay. it bothers me how theres so many repeated names, can they not come up with other names? "sasha"'s computer is breaking... sus. Elias our favorite weed man! jon ur so paranoid lmao

ep 50: robert smirk, at it again. this is like that one episode with the old dude who locked his door. who said idle beforehand? was it smirk? fingertips. thats so weird lmao. bahahah tim

ep 51: simon fairchild. im sure jon will mention the name at the end i cant remember where we've heard it. this is just like the cavediving episode. a hand? there was a hand in the last one right? the scalpel! and an eye thing. she's trying to throw them off.

ep 52: thats the guy from before! with the hearts! god i hate this guy writing the statement hh. lights blowing, and brackish water. we know how this ends but its still tense. rainer? reigner? rain man. we've seen him before

ep 53: pls not a leitner. oh boy mans scratched out his eyes. rip skelly. why would gertrude have had this statement off the books? jon stabbed himself?? bruh im? big man are you okay

ep 54: cockney boys! ayy its our favorite delivery men. she cut out their eyes. she knew that the eye was a thing?

ep 55: oily residue like the retirement home!

ep 56: worms? no. spiders?? bruhh. aaah yelling :(( aww martin anyways yeah i called it about paranoid!jon he needs to take a nap and drink some hot chocolate and calm down for once please

ep 57: just remembered, i think theres an entity called The Lonely?? This feels pretty lonely idk. fairchild, lukas/ lucas, some spooky place in norway idk. "sasha" knew he was recordinig hmm suspicious cmon jon figure it out. Sasha and tom. hm sus. for records sake i feel liek i should note here that I did have it spoiled to me simply that that's not sasha, but thats really all. i assumed it was like the thing that happened to graham in S1

ep 58: i feel like i recognize the name eustice (?) wick. someone please tell me im not just watching jon's descent into madness over the course of this podcast. im hoping it isnt so but, (and pardon the dsmp reference) im getting real wilbur vibes from this one.

ep 59: oh dear ok account from the fielding house. swirling designs? Spiral time? oh boyy. oh wait! 6 inch hole in the middle! is it not a spiderweb type design on the table? thats what i had assumed but that description sounds more like a spiral thing. cobwebs is a Web thing. ayy nicholas was right! the box goes in the table! the place that she kissed him was burning. Raymond is an avatar of The Web and agnes is the burning one. Lightless Flame! Why did she save him? i guess she was against this guy eating ppl or wtvr but why was she at the halfway house then? I think she's like michael.

ep 60: the eye go brr

ep 61: breacon and hope once again. tom. sasha's boyfriend. vampires sleep in coffins. the guy just walking in seems similar to the mind control of the vampires

ep 62: bones! its that one leitner. is this mother keay? the mom of gerard? this is what happened to her right? her skin was found on hooks? oh yeah thats what i thought the pages are made of skin. yeesh. The End!! sounds like an entity. phrased like one, and i think i remember it. are the people trapped in the pages? or... kept?

ep 63: eaten by the darkness! cavediving episode! (just like eaten by the sky) did my brain make up one called The Vast? it feels like it should be one, and all these episodes have some similar description about their feelings when they do whatever chosen hobby they have. ok now this one kinda feels like the dark. lights going out and all that. ok so not really a The Vast thing, its more of a Dark thing. feckin smirk gah.

ep 64: dice! the death guy! the death game thing! the person tricked somebody else into becoming death and then they were immortal? but if the egyptians wanted to kill him or punish him or whatever couldnt they just kill him? it worked in the end when he had the person giving the statement stab him, that did the job and actually killed him

ep 65: finally jon is actually acknowledging something is wrong.

So we know Mary Keay was revived most likely with the book by gerard.

Gertrude was way more aware of the entities than Jon. mary keay referenced The End openly and she cut the eyes out of her magazines and all that which makes me think she was aware of The Eye

ep 66: please not buried alive pleeaase not buried alive. lukas of the tundra? didnt we hear the name lukas before? she wanted it to be difficult to find important files because that way bad people couldnt find them?

ep 67: agnes... the girl in the hilltop house? agnes poppin off!! he's really not gonna question how she knew where he lived?? oh no D: the tree. were they the ones working on the house? aww they kissi- OH DEAR. why did she kiss him? it seemed like she cared about him? also she could kiss that other dude on the cheek and he was fine, but maybe it was cuz she was younger? lightless flame go brrrrr.

ep 68: oh god books. yup its bitchboy leitner. mans said "this seems supernatural, its a werd book!" bruuh.

ep 69: heh nice. aw cmon jon listen to martin. gahhh spiders. is that the class we heard about in the other doctor one with the teeth apple? some kind of psych class? oh dear. fucking spiders. aaaah. web do be goin brr. it's like the girl in the homeless shelter! who made the guy leave and she took his bed.

ep 70: is this gonna be the book that mary keay had? Most likely a leitner no matter what. Oh boy latin. Why did it start in latin then become old English? I'm guessing people put them in the book? He cant burn it. Phrophecies go brr. He says eh it's a decade in the future it's fine. Its gonna have changed. Ayy called it. Just accept it, it's a magic book. His death is getting closer. Leitner didnt make them but just collected them? Gertrude burned the book! She burned them down there so no one would know.

ep 71: oh boy tunnels. Our favorite thing /s. is The Buried a thing? Idk this seems pretty buried. Oh dear he's trapped here isnt he. "Not enough space to move, never enough to breathe" is that from the computer episode? With the guy who uploaded his consciousness? Somebody living down there. Hmmmm. Guesses: tom, sasha's boyfriend. Gertrude herself? (Though I doubt it)

ep 72: sweeney todd moment. Meat. The slaughter? Idk we'll see what the supernatural part is. Meat is meat. Similar to the slaughterhouse episode. Is it fucking Jared I swear to God it better not be. Hooligan teenagers, you know how it is. Meat is me lmao. Is the kid gonna be in the freezer. Ok that's good. OWW. Oddly textured candles. Made from people? Human fat or smth? Tom from the meat processing plant!

ep 73: outer bay shipping. Bet it's a subset of breacon and hope delivery. The Dark go brrr. Uh oh mans is gonna die. Leo or whatever. Cult ppl go brr. The people's church of the divine host. Who is the divine host? Is it reigner or whatever his name is? I dont think Jon can quit tbh. Probably an anonymous tip but from who?? One of the entities?

ep 74: fucking teeth hhh. I dont know which entity is related to teeth. Spiral. Isnt the spiral an entity. It feels like it could be related to many things idk. Yeah this sounds like the spiral. Heart attack at 29? Jesus... michael! That's kinda what I was thinking. Sasha goin in the tunnels. Hmm sus. They move the floor. Wack. Bet its tom.

ep 75: Man with a lightning scar. Has one of the leitner books. The childhood friend of the one who first introduced us to leitner. Oh my god that sounds terrifying. Michael crew.

ep 76: scalpel? Hmm spooky. NotSasha... think jon think.

ep 77: another double! NotThem, The Stranger. Not related to the table?

ep 78: what was that at the beginning? Question mark?? Oh boy more NotThem. Decker... what is the deal with the table. Does it contain the creature? Fucking Michael. Bitchboi himself.

ep 79: yes pop off martin. Ugh fucking Michael just leave man. I hate that dude. New person. Hmm. No idea who it is.

ep 80: shitener himself! Ok sir tell us the entities. Ayy The Spiral. Ok we know what that one is. The Eye is the beholding! Oooh. The Stranger. Did elias just kill leitner? Popping off honestly.

[lucidpantone]

Druck is objectively better than all remakes at making a pointed effort to do better with their pic reps. They actually take in the feedback of their audience and try to execute a better product. There are problems with druck and 80% of it is the fandom. Ofc all remakes have issues tho, so ppl should chill. Druck fans unapologetically shit on other remakes while, wtfock fans and skam fr fans have the courtesy of slyly getting their digs in there. It's quite amusing to watch from the sidelines

this is super long but for you anon.

So I think we need to look at these three remakes as what I call the og period and the original period because they do change alot once they get more freedom some for the absolute worse. Ok so lets talk first about the OG periods. To be perfectly honest s1 in all these remakes are just ok. Jana & Jens are a bit unbearable but Jana as a whole is fine and am happy she doesnt end up with Jens. Same with Hanna and Jonas they aren’t unbearable per-say but I am also not gushing over them but I do like Jonas being a heart throb music man sometimes but once again they dont burn into my core but am happy they reunite. Love Emma and love Yann just not together its that simple. S2 is where we really start to see the difference. Charles is the devil so I hate skamfr s2 and like really Manon stays with him??? ughh why?? Daphne is right at almost bursting into laughter when he talks about doing philanthropy. Ok bruh....sure. Winterberg is fine I dont hate them and I dont love them they are just okay to me. S2 happens to be wtfock best season so its kinda hard to stack them up because this is the best they ever looked. All of the s3 for all these remakes are good. To say they aren’t would just be nonsense some are better then others but all are above average. Now S4....... well well well. What can we say the elusive goldstar Sana season is yet to be made (I will say the script for Italia s4 is fantastic, THE SCRIPT).

Skamfr s4 was a mess and ridiculous and Druck’s s4 was lazy and harbored accents of prejudice all over it.Both seasons undercut their woc and both miss the opportunity to write deep meaningful stories that explored the societal struggles of muslim women. Skamfr s4 just happened to really just shows us their colors but honestly am not shocked this is skam the micro racist decisions are all over the verse. TBD on yasmina season.

 NOW......this all changes when we talk about the original seasons because this is when we see the shows on their own and also we get to see if they have been listening and absorbing the fan commentary or not. So let’s get the obvious out of the way wtFOCK was an absolute mess and maybe the worse season ever created in the skamverse the only thing that made that season even slightly bearable was the Moyo arc which I hear it actually continues in s5 so in a weird way s4 is actually about Moyo since his story continues but we already know thats only because if the fans saw Kato on the screen for a matters of seconds the volcano of hate would explode. I despise how Noa has become the pseudo main of s4 but didnt get the credit. It kills me they did this to him. Maining Romi is the worse mistake ever made by any remake and thats just fact. Now do I want to see a newgen out of wtfock? hmmmm ask me after s5 but am leaning towards probably not but am on the fence. Now skamfr .....let me say this one thing skam fr is nothing without their cast. Talk about fucking talent. Those kids can act their ass off but their writing is atrocious. s5 could have been good they had all the ingredients but the writers bomb it. S6 once again flavie amazing the writing a shit show. S7 lucie was amazing the writing was better but still needs work I think it pretty obvious skam fr is going to step into the thunderdome and finally do what no skam has done before and main bilal but should I really applaud it taking 8 seasons and 35 plus skamverse seasons to get here??? Probably not, but since no one else is gonna pull the trigger I wish them well and at least skamfr listen and lamifex is super rich in diversity and they are honestly a fabulous newgen. They are such a ridiculous squad but god I love them and Jo is an angel. Please please skamfr please write a good story for a brown boy I beg of you!!! Now druck s5 all I can say is Bravo!! If skamfr is their cast then Druck is their writers. That s5 season is a fucking beast. Thats how you write an original skam season. They also listen the cast is super diverse. The girl squad feels natural and their age I actually like that the insta squad are problematic as fuck and happen to be queer. Like just cause your a gay baby doesnt mean you arent an ass. s6 for me personally was ok maybe its unfair of me but I expect amazing writing out of druck and s6 to me was not their best. It could have been amazing they touched so many topics but never deeply explored them and I wanted more for fatou. Also def got the vibes at the end they were panicking on who to main next season so everyone got a little plot thread but that also distracted me from fatou but I love the Mailin plot it was really smart and done well. I didnt hate her but boy did she bug the shit out me.That how you write modern day racism and white privilege. I just wish Ava’s plot was spread more onto fatou they were moments but i wanted more. So I guess I do think out of the original seasons druck s5 is the best. Nora being white didnt matter because she was written well but i do think Tiff being the main out of skamfr wasnt the best choice but then seeing Lucie act am like ok i get it but honestly I expect that from that cast they can all kill it so why not let someone else be the main and not tiff. BTW druck’s cast is good too I just dont think they are as good as the skamfr cast on the acting front but they are some members that are very very good. Like you said because Druck does listen I hope they listen to the honest criticism of s6. I know some people are like its the best ever but like its not....am sorry s5 was way better then s6 and that makes me sad because i want my black girl magic.... I do expect s7 to be good because when the writers for druck have the room to take their time they always kill it but I also feel like they are about to pull a Tiff on us and main Ismail(plus constantine as the side plot) but if I trust anyone with not fucking it up its them. Concerning the fandoms I live off tag and I do that for a reason. The fandom tags are alot but the druck one is almost hostile and honestly you would love the show more if you didnt interact with it. The skamfr tag is hilarious because they are no anti’s its just a bunch of arm chair critics making memes at how ridiculous the frenchies are but in away it makes the remake super fun because no one cares anymore. The wtfock tag has really high highs and really insane lows. When its low its really low so I have decided to live off tag. For those who haven’t..... god speed. Your brave souls!!

[mnogorgannik]

2 10 n 11 :)

this is basically an essay im so sorry. watch how hard i can infodump (ill put this under a cut hopefully it works bc sometimes tumblr decimates the keep reading things if theyre in asks)

2. Who’s your favorite of the Bound? What do you think of the different ideologies they have? Which of the factions are you most aligned with?

WE ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER I AM A PETER LOVER THROUGH AND THROUGH!!!!!! oh baby i love that morally questionable architect. pretty early on in getting into pathologic (it’s coming up on a year now...) i thought about peter stamatin too hard and now i’m here. but really i find him to be such a fascinating character!

the thing about pathologic that i love is how almost every character can be as complex as you want. pathologic does an excellent job of implying a lot of character traits while only exploring some in further detail, which in some games is frustrating but patho does it so well! it consistently hints at traits and lets you fill in the details yourself. peter’s character is extremely interesting to me... and maybe a little more relatable at times than i want to admit lol.

i think i’ll talk about both stamatins though! their dynamic hurts me a lot. i’ll start with andrey bc i’ve been thinking about him lately. although i’ll bounce back and forth between both stamatins.

i’ve said this before but i’ll say it again.... andrey’s role as a protector who inadvertently hurts the people he cares about really gets to me. he is not a shield but, in his own words, a battering ram. and the problem is that battering ram has a recoil.

i have to wonder how that mentality of his came about, anyways. the implication is that it’s always just been him and peter, so did he take on that role because there wasn’t anyone else to do it?

in his efforts to protect peter from... military, i believe, he kills four people. which leads to daniil getting mistaken for andrey, which leads to daniil getting shot. and almost dying. he protects peter but to a smothering extent, peter even says he’s been suffering for ten years bc of andrey which is a LOADED line. he protects on a physical level but he kinda fucks up on the emotional.

there’s a horrible irony in peter and eva being the people he cares about the most and both attempting suicide. with eva once she’s missing he immediately goes running off trying to look for her, and . ahh i can’t remember right off hand what exactly he thought happened. but ik he was probably expecting a fight. with peter he says that after that he’ll never let peter leave his side, at least “as far as his knife can fly”... it sounds cheesy but the one thing he can’t save anyone from is themself.

and god the way andrey bases his ENTIRE sense of self worth on peter fucking hurts. they’re not peter and andrey, the architects. they’re Peter And Andrey, The Architect. (thinking about “one architect, two brothers” here.) andrey thinks he’s larger than life and all but he’s constantly living in peter’s shadow. their theatre of death positions come to mind here, with peter standing up, looking down at andrey. but andrey is on his knees in front of peter, arms limp to his sides.... separated by a wooden beam...

peter’s side of this dynamic is fascinating too. his dependency on andrey is. ow. leaving all practical matters and decision making to him... there’s this resentment (That’s Fine I’ve Been Suffering For Ten Years Because Of Him) and lack of communication that especially shows through for him.

while in p2 andrey completely crumbles if peter dies, peter doesn’t seem to care...... at all....?? which hopefully is elaborated upon in p2. he’s willing to talk to aspity about worrying if andrey is angry with him but he can’t bring it up with andrey himself. when he asks how andrey is doing he stops and says andrey is a “tough man” and can handle anything. in general, while it’s definitely there for andrey, themes of dependency are really glaringly obvious for peter.

one of my favorite peter things i’ve talked about before is still his ego!!! peter has a gigantic ego!!! he really does think that even though he’s hit the ceiling and can’t go any further he is still “a true architect” and “the rock upon which is built the stairway to tomorrow”. he has a blunt edge to him and he doesn’t ever tell you more than he thinks he needs to which i love. if he doesn’t want to tell you something he isn’t gonna do it. this is a character trait i think ppl miss which is sad because it’s so good and adds another layer of depth to him!

it really does hurt me how he’s valued for his mind alone (AHEM AHEM AHEM. GEORGIY) but it’s the thing nobody understands about him. i’m nowhere near as smart as peter lol but i do know that pain of feeling like none of your ideas can be understood because you just can’t express them the way you’d like, and then feeling like you’ll never be able to make it happen.

also, here’s a little thing  i’ve picked up on. this connection probably doesn’t exist but i’m making it because the stamatins make me lose my mind and start becoming one of those people who looks for connections in everything i guess. peter standing in the theatre of death, andrey below him. peter’s loft being at a high point in the town, the broken heart being underground. peter’s loft is also higher north on the map but the broken heart is lower south. just smth interesting

i have more thoughts on them of course! but this is all getting awfully long. i feel like i’ve only just gotten to the tip of the iceberg  even though i’ve written so much skfjskfjs this just feels quite surface level or. at least what is surface level for me who thinks about the stamatins so hard.

anyways i’ll keep my answers to the other two parts of this question quick! peter and andrey’s more creative vs practical mindsets are rly neat. especially because i would actually argue peter is a little more grounded in reality in certain aspects. not all, but certain ones...... their take on the utopian ideology is interesting. hot take: peter’s version of utopianism leans a tad towards humility. and andrey /does/ feel “straightforward utopian” but i think in certain regards? this man has a bit of a termite streak..... (hi al if you’re reading this). but i won’t get into that right now i’ve already gone on so long. saving that for later.

i think all of the factions kinda suck in their own way sometimes, honestly? although all of them are well written and have their pros and cons. were i in pathologic and i had to choose one i’d probably be a termite but everyone around me seems to think i’m a utopian. is it bc i love peter so much

10. What would you be like as a Pathologic character?

this question is a hard one! i did make a self insert once, mile-a-minute, but they’ve become their own oc by now. i think i’d be very...... very afraid...... probably isolating myself why does every pathologic character break quarantine???? also you could trade beetles with me :) thats about all i’ve got sorry this is real short

11. What is something you would change, writing-wise, about either game?

UGH i’ve been gushing about pathologic because. obviously i love this game so much. but the way it handles racism & such (in both games!) leaves much to be desired :/

i see a lot of the points it’s trying to make but i think the way they’re handled can be very messy. there are moments that work very well but. a lot that don’t. (i am aware that dybowski writes partially from his own experiences)

all too often the game “validates” the kin’s oppression and... at times paints them as oddly antagonistic? i don’t like how often as artemy you’re able to be like “i’m not one of those beasts” and i think there are better ways to touch on his internalized racism. in general the constant comparisons to animals is weird. you get big vlad who is obviously explicitly racist comparing them to animals, but then sometimes it’s like “ACTUALLY calling them animals is fine :)”

i think the herb brides are kind of. Hm. in their portrayal. also using parts of the buryat alphabet to denote an accent is weird. making odongh and herb brides inhuman is weird. connecting the kin to Magic is weird.

and, listen, i’d really like to not be playing Artemy Burakh Experiences a Microaggression Simulator every time i’m playing the haruspex route. hate that you either can’t call ppl out on their shit or if you can it ends the conversation/bars you from getting necessary information. glad you at least get to drag the vlads, i guess?

i also was talking about this but wrt peter specifically, and this issue is present throughout the game but it’s especially visible with peter, i don’t like how often you can mock him for his addiction.

he’s obviously in an extremely rough patch! being able to be just so plain cruel to him about the dependency on alcohol (and iirc in p1 hallucinogens, bc aglaya mentions it) he’s formed to cope with his mental illness & trauma just feels bad. especially because yes it is not a healthy coping mechanism at all but... it still is a coping mechanism, if that makes sense?

the way you’re able to constantly rub it in his face feels awful. peter is fully aware that it isn’t good for him and shows a desire to quit. even if he didn’t it would still be awful to say because. it’s just insensitive. like you don’t just go up to someone and keep being like HEY YOU DRINK A LOT YOU SHOULD STOP DOING THAT DO YOU KNOW WHAT WATER IS? feels really bad to keep harping on something that causes him pain and that he struggles with every single day.

however peter does have moments where he tells you Not to say that, or if you pry into why he drinks he’ll outright say he doesn’t remember you being his friend, which is better than nothing.

in p1 moreso than p2 i hate how you can be like oh he’s craaaazy he’s off his rocker he’s delusional!!!! that “why, i never... an architect of schizophrenia!” comment sticks in my mind because it’s just... so genuinely mean. especially because if i remember correctly that line is from when he’s planning on LITERALLY FUCKING BURNING HIMSELF ALIVE

i think if they were going to have all of this they should have gone more in depth on how it’s really. not good that he’s treated so poorly. and i do believe that’s what they were going for, a la the art book w/ the whole “not to be made into a drunken clown, this is a tragic character”, etc. but it just doesn’t land. i’m holding out for the bachelor and changeling routes in p2 to see if they expand upon any of it but i highly doubt i’ll be satisfied in this regard.

i stand by the One time it was really fucking funny to clown on peter being the time you can tell him little girls eat raspberries and earthworms and he just believes you

[taketheringtolohac]

simon for the ask game!

jshkajhja god victor i love him so much thank u for sending me this ok here we go (sidenote i know theres ppl who follow me who havent finished dd so if you dont want to get spoiled dont read this!! i talk about a LOT of spoilers!)

send me a character ask and i’ll answer!

favorite thing about them ok so heres the thing. i know that there is a lot to be said about him and just the way that he does like genuienly care for people even if he has a funny way of showing it but honestly? honestly? i LOVE a funny king. like his own brand of humor is just so good and when he laughs (at his own jokes, like a real Uncle Figure) he laughs with his WHOLE BODY which. yes king go get em. also hes sexy <3 not in a rat kinda way but he LOOKS like he should be just, outwardly, but simon blackquill himself is just a HOT MAN. yes im a lesbian and what about it.

least favorite thing about them this isnt about him but you know when aa fandom makes him a weeb? bad. stop calling urself/other ppl weebs in 2021 especially if u arent using the term critically/as a way to talk about ppl who fetishize Japanese culture tho most ppl who call themselves weebs dont realize theyre doing this anyways which. ok this isnt the post for this im just (rightfully) Mad

favorite line its not exactly a LINE, per say, bc i dont remember a lot of them, but remember when he shakes athena in SOJ and its like that kermit strangling meme? top 10 ace attorney moments EASILY

brOTP LITERALLY ATHENA AND SIMON BROTP LIVES IN MY BRAIN AT ALL TIMES LIKE theres so much healing that they both have to do from the 7/8 years since the incident and focusing on literally just that one incident and how to fix it (or in his case how to just like. live with it in a lot of ways) and they do some of it together but some of it they very much do NOT do together and i think like the setting boundaries that they do is just. its good. also i love the idea that he lived with her for a while after he was released like. just from a general perspective i love them sort of being a patchwork family but also just imagine being 18 and living on your own then suddenly you invite your 33 year old uncle to live with you who’s been in prison for the past 8 years. he doesnt rlly know how the world works from a cultural perspective and you dont know what its like from a “how do i use a can opener” perspective. together you’re a functioning adult.

OTP honestly i see him as very gay man in his 30s bachelor just living his post prison life and figuring stuff out but i’d be lying to myself if i said i didn’t read nahyuta/simon fics that shit is cute as FUCK and also ppl do a really good job of writing them like??? its about the understanding whats its like to go through an incredibly fucked up situation and not feeling the need to EXPLAIN yourself but to just understand that its beyond your control sometimes and gently helping them through without being making it about you because YOU wouldnt want that and. yeah.

nOTP if you ship simon with the phantom i’m knives out IMMEDIATELY i understand the want for angst but it makes me uncomfy and man has already been through enough please. also You Know What Else. i will not say it but it should be self explanatory.

random headcanon him and aura were REALLY close pre UR-1 incident. like i think they had a lot of issues but i think its just because they probably had to raise themselves in a lot of ways and pretty much really only looked out for each other for awhile. i like to think that he visited the space center a lot bc he was visiting her and thats how he got to meet metis and he was like huh maybe i could use this physcological stuff in court hmm and like thats how he became her student but i ALSO think that aura is just. SO mad at him for what he did about UR-1 and how he handled it because now SHE has to be alone and its not fair to him and she knows its not but she can’t help herself. Not just that but Simon hates seeing her lose it a little every time she visits him (which is often, he doesn’t get many visitors and even if he did he’d ALWAYS take her visits bc he misses her even if they don’t see eye to eye they’re all they’ve GOT) and just. seeing her become more cold and somehow thinking maybe its his fault and her not knowing if she does think its his in some ways but them still loving each other even if they have funny ways of showing it just UGH!!!

unpopular opinion he doesnt talk all posh why do ppl do that he’s literally a funny garbage man who like kinda hates himself a bit. also yes he’s emo but i think he would absolutely ROCK a printed neon button up with like. really loud socks specifically stupid steel samurai/anime socks. ik i said dont call him a weeb but theres a difference between liking anime/samurai/japanese culture and being weird about it. also he’s Japanese die mad about it

song i associate with them god i dont know i dont really listen to music but i GUESS i will say Mike Townsend (Knows What He’s Gotta Do) by the Garages because they’re very similar “i’m gonna do what I think is right to protect/save this other person and these people I care about even if the consequences are extremely detrimental to me”

favorite picture of them i will not say the simon shaking sprite again but you know that funky one with the bird? the one where he’s got taka just. perched on his arm. perfect photo i use it for everything <3

[abloomingperiod]

junmyeon as a bf

the softest of the softies

kim junmyeon is an old-fashioned guy

and i’m not saying that in terms of being conservative or anything, ‘cuz i really hope he isn’t

i mean in the sense of love

like you know that kind of person who dreams the whole picture

like

he dates for a reason

unlike other members, junmyeon isn’t the type to not think about the future

being a leader makes you like that

but this gets less harsh on him when u arrive in his life

yk that whole romantic comedy movie where a guy runs into someone and it’s this beautiful woman with the biggest smile and they fall for each other and shit

well.......not exactly your case

he indeed ran into you with an iced tea in hands

except you didn’t smile at him

you basically screamed “SHIT IM SORRY ILL PAY U BACK”

he got so flustered w your reaction like

this really pretty girl just offered me some iced tea”

he was all like nonononononoooo don’t say that it’s fine don’t worry aha

you kept insisting but were late for work so you made him promise to come back to that bakery the day after bcs he WOULD be paid back no matter wHAT

he didn’t feel the need butyou were cute and he wasn’t with a thick schedule so why not right

so yeah ofc prince suho showed up

the next day he entered the place and saw you

you were so pretty watching you crinkling your nose over the hot coffee in your hands was already a payback

a cute one

cmon he’s cringey give him a chance

you bowed at each other and he realized you didn’t mention for Once between the whole minute after the accident and his arrival abt his name or profession as an idol

which for him

was nice

not a big deal, but nice

after you gave him his iced tea he was so polite you actually smiled bcs ajshskjsks cute ?

and then you started talking for a while

you introduced yourself, told him abt your dream to become a writer someday and he !!!!!

okay junmyeon easy on the hearbeats you got it

he just thought of this as such a COOL dream

writing for a living

now he was like this pretty girl... is a poet

i know

lame

but he’s adorable so who cares tbh

he talked to u abt being an idol and how was the position of the leader

you listened to every word and even though you lost a fee of them along with the honey like voice and puffy cheeks of his, you loved hearing abt it

after like 2 hours he had to go bcs schedule

but before you parted your way you had to go to the bathroom

when you went pay for your payback iced tea, you hear a waiter asking “mrs y/n? i believe that for you”

no shit there was the waiter holding a cappuccino

you got like Dude. there must’ve been a mist-

you turn the cup and there it is:

“for y/n

i loved the iced tea but since my goodbyes were a little earlier i most definitely own you a payback too. how abt sushi? xx” and the waiter hands you a note with his name and number

and that’s how you started seeing each other

jun is a quiet person so he won’t be like vocal abt developing a crush on you more and more

it would b like

you guys would hang out sometimes

and little by little he would catch himself getting the heart eyes

like you’re at a coffe shop

you would get passionate talking about some movie or song and suddenly there’s a drop of coffee on the side of your lip. you didn’t notice but he did but he thought you looked so cute popping off about ur favorite music he would just sit there like,,, 💖nvm💖

and with those little stuff he would catch himself thinking yup they’re gonna b mine

so one day he went like soooo maybe i’m catching feelings i didn’t know this was happening sorry??? so i think u should know that bcs it’s abt u... i’m fancied by u i didn’t mean it to happen

like straight up he APOLOGIZED

FOR LIKING U

you were like goshkjsjksj so cute

and decided to play w him a little

“so you don’t want to like me” “NONONOOO THATS NOT WHAT I MEA-” “jk i got it i really like you too and maybe we could kiss to see what happens”

he combusted

so yeah you’re dating that’s what happened

so caring literally sO CARING

calls you on a daily basis when he’s away to talk abt the weather the boys his breakfast how much he misses you how he saw those flowers outside and it reminded of you or how he will bring you to that country when it’s vacations

he’s such a husband material fuck me

keeps notes of things you like so he can hit the high score on important dates

talking abt dates

fancy

i mean he’s bourgeoisie ofc it’s fancy

such a lovely boyfriend i’m actually sad

jun is restaurants with low lights, candles, roses and holding your hand while talking about how he never seemed to figure out the food app to find a cool place to go to so he just asked chanyeol with a pout on his lips

“you’re such an old man” “i’m simple it’s different”

on your 1 year anniversary he took you to a boat ride on a lake witha guy playing violin and wine and cheese waiting for you

simple my ass

keeps bringing coffee and flowers for you every friday night you get together bcs it’s your “tiny vacations” as he calls it

on weekends with you the only ppl he answers is either manager or a serious question from the boys/his family

and it’s always a short “yes” or “no” or “👍🏻”

fuck it he’s with his baby leave him alone

loves cooking with you

like fuck it if it’s not that tasty he just LUUUVES doing it with you

probably because he gets to hug you a lot

like you’re in the stove and he had already placed everything in its own place so he goes behind your figure, hugs your waist and places his lips on your shoulder to give you tiny pecks and praise your cooking

“junmy this is practically burnt” “you’re the best cooker i know”

once you guys were enjoying a whole ass week together and the last time you were together for more than a day were like 6 months before

you were so all over each other he went to do the same thing and you guys ended up making out in front of a precooked pan of french fries

long story short, your toasted it and only saw that coming bcs jun went to embrace your waist and his fingers touched the hot pan

“that happened bcs of you and your teenager behavior” “YOU COULD’VE MOVED” “I WAS TRAPPED”

so guess what you did after you applied some salve om his fingers

he was staring @ u all ���💖💖💖💖

you were like ,,,what

he just shrugged and murmured “you’re beautiful”

that’s right

you fucked

not fucked in a Fucked way

yall made love

kim junmyeon is all about luv

i remember someone posting here that he probably fucked like white people and i-

that person ruined it for me

i hate yall

i will defend him till the end of time my boi DOES NOT fuck like a white person

takes it very seriously as he sees it as an opportunity to shower u with the love u deserve

on that day you actually convinced him you should do the hard work

HELL YEAH YOU RODE THAT BITCH

jun seems like soft dom for me like just bcs he’s in charge for most of the time doesn’t mean youon get to do a thing

that time as you rode him you got very like Very excited but you saw in his eyes how desperate he was to touch you entirely so you catch his hand and kiss his fingertips slowly

he kept smiling for you saying “god you are so beautiful” “i love you so much”

but you’re a little shit and always tries and bring his rough side out

so you open your mouth and lick his two burnt finger from the knuckles to the tips

he got so !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

not really a vocal guy

heavy sighs and low groans are it for junmyeon

very into dirty talk

but a fancy one

“does my baby likes it when i make her beg?” “look at me, love. do you want it from where i can kiss your back or your breasts?” “you’re mine to take and no one else”

we don’t support women treated as objects but this is a sexual environment and you’ve always consented him to say things like that in bed

he’s a gentlemen fuck it

once you were so horny you straight up said “i don’t give a fuck about formality just make me cum at least three times”

he got 😳 for a sec but got your point

not a rough lover but once you get in a fight

bitch

you’re both pretty mature ppl so every rare time you fight it’s very Very serious

will kiss you until your both breathless just so you can not even catch your breath bcs he will be kissing your neck and liking your skin

slaps your butt?

absolutely

a fucking lot

“funny how you turn shut the fuck up as soon as i lay my hands on you”

makes you strip for him

has a thing for watching where your bodies connect

call him baby and he’s got a 3 secs tops soft jun

like a little grin with puffy cheeks

and he’s back with the restless pounding

bathtub aftercare is a must

massages your feet as you talk sweet nothings for him

if you’re feeling feisty might get a romantic round two

loves doing it slowly so he can drag it to the point you get so hot and bothered you beg

“oh god- just please- jun, faster”

likes it when you rub his back after

get a shot of soft myeonie post-sex

lays in his stomach and quietly asks “can you”

you lay there also on your stomach and rubbing his back drawing circles and talking about life

once he got so full of idk emotion?? love?? idk never been there

he just poured a whole “marry me”

like dude.

“WHAT” “not today, like... in a few years maybe idk forget it”

he closed his eyes to dismiss your reaction and just felt a warm peck on his naked shoulder

“of course i’ll marry you a few years”

his eyes shot open like This woman. the loml. dead ass said yes to my hypothetical proposal”

he actually got emotional

“kajsksjsksjsk really?????????v

“yes really”

and there was a teardrop

you felt like dying

i mean I feel like dying rn

doesn’t say it but thinks abt having kids someday

and u know that bcs honestly it’s suho everybody just Knows that

his parents? ofc they know you

exo? absolutely sure they know you

“one day we’re gonna have a dinner on like christmas with my family and yours” “baby they don’t even live in korea” “i don’t care we’ll pay” “STOP”

really treasures your relationship like i’m not here to play games i’m past mid-20’s this is Serious

and because he’s so worried and serious he nevers seems to let loose

which is probably normal since he’s a leader

but it makes him so !! all the time u get worried

once he actually CRIED out of stress

and you ofc were there

you kept hugging him tightly and slowly rocking his body with yours kissing his tears away as he kept softly saying “i’m fine, don’t worry”

you didn’t stop worrying

you said “if you’re fine then i can stay here hugging my boyfriend”

he nodded and kept sobbing for a little while

his head was pounding so you literally laid him down and cuddled him in your arms, fingers between his locks and hot breath on his neck

he once said the sound of your breath calmed him

so that’s what you did

you calmed him

and that’s everything he ever wanted

someone to be there for him on tough times like he’s always there for everyone

he loves the fact you’re always so calm and ready to solve any problem that appears

he loves the calmness and ““““normal”””” atmosphere you bring to him

after all those years of hardship and responsability

you showed him he could be a leader and have more fun on a daily basis

he deadass thinks abt your marriage

like it’s barely 6am, he wakes up and sees you sleeping next to him, hair everywhere on the pillow and mouth open

his heart goes 💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

his arms goes to your sleeping body

& his mind “i’m gonna marry this girl someday”

idk i feel like i could write a whole ass fanfiction of 50 chapters on suho and id still have 100 scenarios of him in mind

i honestly love him sm

such a nice boy

he deserves so much more

give lota of love to him he’s perfect

that’s it i’m done

[zhuhongs]

Here’s my long ass review of TGCF that literally no one asked for it i have opinions and I have no one to tell them too so i must write them out and post them. (also part of this is abt the mdzs novel bc i can’t not compare them and I have a lot of thoughts abt that too)

This is very very long so it’s going under a read more. Spoilers ahead!!

Okay so first off this book was a fucking behemoth i can’t believe i read all of that (minus the extras) in under a week.. what the fuck. I definetly got reading fatigue halfway thru book 3.

I’m gonna separate my thoughts into sections bc i  have a few points that don’t all relate

firstly, overall writing and organization:

I said it earlier but tgcf is a lot more structurally sound than mdzs imo. My biggest criticism of the MDZS novel (minus the bad sex scenes, homophobia, and general I hate mxtxness of it) was the way the flashbacks were presented. 

Like OH MY GOD they were presented so badly. I hated that the flashback was told intermittently and only when one of the characters invoked the past. For example, when WWX meets Jiang Cheng and a second time, Jin Ling distracts JC to release “Mo Xuanyu” bc he saved his life in the Nie Ancestral hall earlier. WWX then proceeds to be the self sacrificing dude he is and take away Jin Ling’s curse and put it on himself. When he escapes and returns to LWJ, LWJ offers to carry him.

 If you watched CQL, you know exactly what LWJ is referring to when he says smth to the effect of “You once offered to carry me too, remember.” HOWEVER in the novel you don’t know what he’s talking about. This is because the flashback wasn’t been revealed to you yet. The next chapter goes to tell the flashback. I think that this takes away all of the emotional depth away from the scene. But in CQL, having the flashback already be known, you make the connection on your own and are like “awww wangji remembers that.. even 16 years later.“ Its a lot sweeter bc you know what the two have gone thru. At this point in the MDZS novel its barely the 30th chapter or so and you have no real idea what wangxian have been thru together or what reasons wangji has for loving wwx. You just think, well obviously they like each other bc this is a danmei novel and they are the two leads, ofc they have to like each other. But in cql, you learn through watching them that they’re in love. It’s not just like”well they have to be!! its a bl!!”

Okay that was a rlly long side tangent but it makes me so angry. So what did any of that have to do with TGCF?? well tgcf doesn’t have this issue. In fact, i believe that it gains a lot from having the flashback withheld from the reader. 

I really liked how the flashbacks were contained to books 2 and 4 respectively because it adds a layer of mystery. Hua Cheng is a very secretive man so it makes sense for us to not know everything about him upfront. The way that the author teases and hints little things at you make you want to know more, making it all the more satisfying when the truth is revealed. Because in a way you Know that Hua Cheng meets Xie Lian before and you know that he’s the child XL saved during the God Pleasing Ceremony but you don’t know all the details. Like obviously since Hua Cheng is a ghost you know that he’s died and it was likely for Xie Lian or Xian le’s sake but you probably never expected that he actually died twice. Once on the battle field and second when he took the human face disease. I think the difference between these flashbacks and the flashbacks in MDZS result from the length. In TGCF you get two long concise flashbacks that make sense to be placed where they are. Book 2 because you already have a feel and hint at what the characters have been through and book 4 because the White No Face appears again so then you learn how he and Xie Lian met before. It wouldn’t make sense to place book 2 any earlier bc there is no emotional impact. And it doesn’t make sense to place book 4 earlier because you don’t know what the white no face’s deal is so it’d be confusing. In MDZS, you get numerous short flashbacks happening alongside the main story and it makes it hard to piece together the timeline in a way that feels satisfying. Ik a lot of ppl grill cql for having a confusing intro episode and having a rlly long flashback but its much better than the mdzs novel. However the mdzs donghua handles the flashback in the most concise way imo.

Overall i think the way the story is structured is very good and is a step up from mdzs. Also the horror aspects of tgcf are rlly enjoyable and honestly i think mxtx should just write short horror stories at this point. like enough long ass novels chock full of fetishization. just write some fun horror with no romance and call it a day.. pls

Side Characters:

okay so straight up, i think the side characters arent used as well as they were in mdzs bc mxtx wanted to focus on hualian and didn’t want to give the side characters as much focus. This is a weaker point of the novel.

I’ll get into it more below but i think hua cheng was done dirty as a character by having him rlly only care abt xie lian. Since he doesn;t have any real relationships with others outside of xie lian this takes away from having more depth in the side characters. They’re really only related as far as xie lian’s relationship with them. Though thankfully xie lian gets rather close with a few officials and the ones we get to see more of are rlly interesting. I especially loved the reconciliation of mu qing, feng xin, and xie lian at the end of book 5. honestly their relationship was one my favorites and i’m glad they finally said what they had to say to each other after 800 fucking years. Also Shi Qingxuan is a delight. we stan sqx in this house.

The characters i wish we had seen more of were yushi huang (although she didnt rlly want to be there, good for her), Quan Yizhen and Yin Yu. I very much wish yizhen and yin yus story happened earlier on and we had more time with them. It felt strange to have their subplot occur towards the end and it was sort of out of place but i liked them a lot!! i wish there was more to it. and that there was a reconcilation but mxtx hates happy shidi’s doesnt she, (glares at novel jc). Also man yin yu did NOT have to die like that i’m sad.

Also, honestly.. i don’t think qi rong added to the story whatsoever and i have no clue why he and guzi were there. qi rong just pissed me off the whole time and added literally nothing.

going back to yushi huang, i’d like to say for the millionth time that i hate how mxtx uses any of her female characters. like we get it.. u hate women being useful... im still pressed but what i want to say has been said many times before so ill leave it at that.

Hualian:

I really really did like hualian at the end. They had a truly epic love story and it was so beautiful, especially when hua cheng repeated his words as wuming to xie lian as he started to disappear. But, I said it once and i’ll say it again. I don’t think Hualian is a super healthy relationship. As fiction its fine (i firmly believe fiction impacts reality but let me finish), i guess bc literally nothing about their situation can be replicated irl and none of it ended up containing manipulation or abuse or anything bad but there was a potential for it to and i’m really glad it didnt go that route.

Hualian is a highly idealized and romanticized relationship full of some truly troubling feelings of self worth. While its “beautiful” in a way that hc really was xls most devoted believer, it wasnt healthy for him to live for xl like this. Nor was it healthy for xl to feel so unworthy of hua chengs love.  

Hua Cheng’s devotion to Xie Lian is a little too extreme and it bothers me. When the truth was revealed abt the Temple of 10,000 Gods I had the same reaction as Mu Qing and Feng Xin. I was like... HEY WHAT THE FUCKK that’s a little uh... thats NOT HEALTHY,, dianxia PLEASE say smth. But ofc Xie Lian didn’t say fucking anything and and i was so pissed. Like the whole thing of Hua Cheng living his life solely for XIe Lian is really kinda fucked up and not romantic. I was holding out hope that at some point XIe Lian would sit him down and be like “Hey! I love you and i’m really grateful that all these years you’ve still believed in me when no one else did. But you can’t just live your life for my sake. You deserve love from many other other people and deserve to have a life and happiness outside of me. I still want to spend the rest of my life with you, but you need to not only think of me.” or something to that effect

It bothers me that after Xie Lian learns the truth he doesn’t once reassure Hua Cheng that he didn’t have to make Xie Lian his reason for existence. Like.. idk i just think that’s rlly kinda unhealthy. Like I understand why Hua Cheng is so deeply devoted to Xie Lian-- he saved his life twice and was the only one to ever show him kindness and he’s seen xie lian suffer a fate worse than death multiple times. I get that he wants to protect him and make his life easier, but to not let anyone else into his life and spend 800 years looking for xie lian is just overkill. Like if the whole 10k statues thing never happened i’d be 100 percent fine with hualin but the whole devotion to that extent... uhhh yea.. no that put a bad taste in my mouth. Obsession should not be romanticised. I don’t think any reader of tgcf is going out and deciding to live like hua cheng obviously but still.

Also Side note, the whole 100 swords scene.. bro i felt for hua cheng, the way he screamed seeing that, i don’t blame him. I was so horrified reading that chapter. i don’t think i’ve been so horrified by a piece of media like that in a while. Poor fucking xie lian.. oh my god. I understand the intense reaction he had and how seeing that prompted such a degree of loyalty but still.. 10k statues?? the cave that mu qing and feng xin saw... thats a little too much obssession... like please.. dial it back.. im begging u.

I was talking to mary (liviahyes) and she said smth abt how Hua Cheng doesn’t have a character outside of xie lian. And she’s right, he kinda doesn’t. If Xie Lian didn’t exist neither would Hua Cheng. I get that that counds kinda romantic but in practice i don’t think its a good things. Especially because Xie Lian has a story outside of Hua Cheng, hehas goals, he has friends, he has something. Hua Cheng said it-- his only dream is Xie Lian. Which is romantic but very very unbalanced. 

THAT BEING SAID, i still rly liked their relationship and i think theyre cute they just have issues they need to work through. I mean they have time but yea. It wasn’t perfect but eh. overall i’m bitter bc they couldve been THAT COUPLE but theyre so many bad implications as mentioned above and i.. smh. They still have amazing moments. Like the lantern scene, the alter scene, the “what matters is you, not the state of you”, the end when hua cheng helps release the shackles on xie lian, the scene where hua cheng disappears, the way xie lian waited for him, like they were so close to being THAT COUPLE but then mxtx and her fujo ass just had to make it uncomfortable like that. i’m so bitter. Like the reason why i wrote out all of this is bc this novel could’ve been great but so many little things added up and made the experience far more sour than it shouldve been.

MXTX did hua cheng SO DIRTY by not giving him a character much outside of loving xie lian and being good at everything. Like when I first learned abt how Hua Cheng beat 33 heavenly officials at what they excel in best i was like WHO IS THIS LEGEND but honestly.. he rlly doesn’t have any motivations outside of helping xie lian and I wish he had more to him . Like if we had more situations like the one where hua cheng dug out his own eye to save the group of mortals on mount tong’lu then he’d have been a much more well rounded character. Honestly, that’s rlly the only instance where he seems to have taken xie lians ideals to heart. I wish we had more of that bc that scene was so cool. i wish it hadn’t been revealled so late and there was more than one occasion where he defends others (minus xie lian ofc) without anything for himself to gain that.

To contrast hualian with wangxian, i think wangxian work so well bc at their core, they have the same life goals and same ideas about people and the world. Where in hualian, xie lian has core principles and morals and hua cheng is just like, anything for xie lian. SMH they couldve been great but overall i think hualian falls flat for me because of my own fear of dating someone who doesn’t have a life outside of dating me. Moreso, my parents had this sort of unbalanced relationship towards the end of their marriage and it ended very badly and yea, i just can’t whole heartedly love relationships that in any way resemble this, even if it ends differently. that’s a personal thing tho.

I don’t think Hua Cheng has ANY bad intentions towards Xie Lian or ever will. I don’t think he’s ever manipulated xl or tried to force him to love him. But again, it’s my own personal feelings that makes me feel kinda.. ehh conflicted abt hualian. There was potential but again.. fujoshis ruin everything... smh. Overall i think the way it ended redeemed the issues it had but still there were issues and i really wish xie lian like,, reassured hua cheng about living his life freely at some point but whatever. 

IN CONCLUSION

TGCF had the potential to be better than mdzs, it rlly did but it was bogged down by the authors own toxic mentalities abt love, and mlm relationships, and treating women like ppl and it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I enjoyed this book, truly i did (otherwise i wouldn’t have stuck through and read 750k words of it) but there are some flaws that cannot be glossed over. I hope that tgcf when it does get adapted, goes through the same miracle that cql did and makes the characters more like ppl and less like tropes but i doubt it. Also i highly doubt that a live action tgcf is feasible given the supernatural aspects of the series but we shall see. I’m excited for the donghua when it eventual comes out but i will continue to be critical of the novel bc..well.. you see why. idk if i’d reccommend this book tbh bc like yes i would, no i would... well.. </3. yea. overall, it sure was something that i enjoyed in spades. especially the last 5 chapters. I generally liked it but had many issues with it at the same time, but honestly, yea thats the standard fair for a mxtx novel.