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rosierocks30 · 4 years ago

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Hidden: Ch. 20

Chapter 20: Dancing with the Devil

(Levi/Arne)

It was dark and smelly. He can hear drops of water from wherever he was placed. Arne woke up from being knocked out at the tarven. He realized this was a cell and his wrists were cuffed to the wall. The son of farmers felt anxious from wanting to know where his wife was. Is Ingrid safe? Are they harming her? Is their unborn child safe too? So much fear of what ifs ran through his mind.

Arne heard noises of the guards coming towards his cell. The sound of keys shuffled as the guard inserted the key into the lock and unlocked the cell’s bar. Once the guard opened, he shouted at Arne. “Prisoner, I see you’re awake. We’re moving you to the other dungeon.”

Arne barely noticed the guard had a dark mask on his head. Probably concealing his identity. As Arne was uncuffed from the chains, the guard dragged him away from the cell. His body was a bit weak from who knows what they use to knock him out.

The silence was killing him. All he saw the cold hallways leading to the other parts of the dungeon. The dark haired prisoner glanced at a room where a wooden like table was in the middle.

Two others went to grab Arne and placed him on the wooden table. They strapped him down tightly with thick leather belts.

“As a punishment for crimes, the king made you his labrat for risky experiments. The scientist will arrive soon.” The guard said.

Not too long, a man arrived and looked at Arne. “Aw this is my latest subject?”

Latest? So there were other unfortunate lads before him? He won’t be surprised if none had survived from whatever sick experiment the king had approved.

“Hello there! I’m Gabriel Hange, the king’s new scientist. You looked well fitted than my previous subjects. Good good. We’re gonna need a healthy one. Hopefully, you will be my breakthrough!” He giggled with excitement.

Arne was already irritated with this mad lad. The scientist Gabriel dismissed the guards when they left the room. Now it was him and this deranged man. “It;s just you and me. Before I start, what questions do you have?”

Arne does have many questions but most of them won’t get answered as this scientist might not know it. “What do you plan on doing to me?” He asked.

“You’re a man of getting to the straight answers? Well, let’s start at the beginning. The king had wanted a loyal knight to serve and obey him only. So I was granted an audience with him when he heard about my theory of it’s possible to create a titan in it’s human form without shifting into one of the nine titans or being pure mindless ones.” Gabriel explained to Arne.

“So basically I will become a weapon?” Arne said.

“Yeah, something like that if you survive.” The scientist said.

Arne doesn’t have a choice since he was tied to the table. He closed his eyes to pray to the gods and goddesses to protect his wife and their unborn babe. “Let’s just get this over with.” He mumbled.

“Yes, yes. I hope you make it through, sir.” The dark brown haired man said.

“I’m not a knight. Just a peasant farmer.” He glanced at Hange the scientist.

“Of course, then what shall I call you?” He said.

“Call me Ackerman.” Arne said.

Gabriel nodded in accepting the other’s request. “Alright Ackerman this will hurt.”

Arne took a deep breath to mentally be prepared for the pain he will endure. As he felt a burning pain inside his veins, Arne grunts from trying to not let this pain consume him. Gabriel had injected a small dose of blue liquid into the bloodstream of Arne’s veins. The scientist wanted to start off a small dose before giving the all the blue serum like fluid to his test subject. The dark brown haired man with glasses watched how this man endures the pain. Usually, the other test subjects begin to scream for mercy. Their bodies become purple as the serum slowly deteriorates their organs and melts them until blood comes out from their noses, eyes, ears, and mouth. It looked like a deadly poison killed them. Technically, this serum is like poison. This prisoner hasn’t shown signs of bleeding from nothing of the areas the scientist had seen with others.

“You are strong for enduring this small dose. Let’s see if you can handle half of the serum I have.” Hange said. He connected a bag with serum to the tube that’s connected to a needle on Arne's arm. He slowly squeezed the bag as the fluid went into Arne’s bloodstream. Arne felt sweats and heat from his body raising its temperature for trying to kill off the foreign fluid inside his body. Finally, the scientist finished the bag.

“Alright, all done. We’ll just have to wait until the next day if you make it or not to add another bag of fluid into you. For now, I will observe how your behavior and symptoms react to the serum.” He said.

Arne couldn’t answer him as he still felt his body on fire. He began to scream when the fluid began to boil in his blood. Oh gods, this is the worst torture ever. He was thinking death would be more pleasant.

No...he can’t think like that. He must get this through to escape and find Ingrid. Ingrid and the babe need him. He must survive. He’ll live and protect his family.

The sequence turned white and Levi Ackerman woke up with sweats and fever. The raven haired man grunts from the fever and the pain he felt from his body. Davos and his assistants rush to get him stable. Levi’s vitals were going off the chart. The captain felt hallucination of seeing a familiar blonde beauty that he loves and cherishes.

“Historia….” His wife’s name whispered breathlessly from his dry chapped lips then darkness greeted him.

Levi’s eyes opened slowly as the view was not the white room nor the dungeon cells. Where the fuck is he? Where did they move him this time? He slowly sit up and heard heavy chains move. He glanced down to see his wrists were cuffed and chained to the bed. He could smell sterile and medicine. Did they put him in a hospital? A figure appeared before him. The figure was an old man with few hairs on his head. He has a genuine smile on his face which Levi senses this man must be the doctor from the uniform white robe they wear. Right next to him was a familiar brat he used to kick the shit out of him to save his life.

“Had a nice nap, Captain? The doctor had to make sure you won’t die on us, but you are Humanity’s Strongest. You’re too hard to die anyways.” Eren smirked.

Eren is lucky Levi was chained and weak at the moment from kicking his ass again. Levi glared at the Titan Shifter.

“How unpleasant to see you, Jaeger.” He mumbled.

“You might find it hard to believe but I’m not the enemy, captain.” Eren said.

Levi scoffed as he does find it hard to believe. “Tch.”

“We have a lot of catching up to do because Historia has begged me to help you out to escape the palace and sent you back to the Assassins and the soldiers.” Erren whispered.

Levi glanced at him in confusion. Is this a joke? Eren had decided to play the good guy? Levi doesn’t want to fall for this brat’s tricks. Did Historia contact Eren to help out?

“Look Levi, Historia and I made a pact to help you get out of here. Most of the soldiers are planning to strike soon. I am spying for the military and the assassins. I had to convince Davos to let the doctor check up on you. As to him and the templars, you’re valuable to them.” Eren said.

“Didn’t you want the whole world to end to save Eldia or some fucked up shit?” Levi finally spoke.

“I did, but my perspective had changed.” Eren’s thoughts were on Natasha when he said that.

“You have done fucked up shit. So give me a reason why I should this time believe you have changed?” The assassin may be weak from recovering from a high fever but his tone was dark.

Eren frowned; he remembered the atrocious he had committed for the sake of freedom to the Eldians. In his mind, he had to become a great villain for the world to be untied and defeat him while freeing the curse. Now, his selfish desire had altered his destiny. He wants to do whatever it takes to protect his girl and their unborn. He wanted to give them peace and freedom without causing the majority of the world into chaos.

“We both have something in common.” Eren said.

“Like what?” Levi said.

“Being a father. My kid will be born in nine months and I want this mess that I create be dealt with before he or she comes into this world. I want to keep my family safe. I know you want that too for Historia and your son. So, this is what’s going to happen. While most of the people are busy attending the ball, me and two others, Rick and Reggie will help you out to sneak away from the city. But I won’t go out of the city since I need to be here to play the “good brother”.” Eren explained to Levi.

“What about Historia? I am not going to leave without her.” Levi hissed.

“I understand you want to take her away from this hell, but she needs to be here in order to work. Her alibi will be the ball as queen she will be too busy attending guests at the ball. I promise to you that she will not be harmed. The Brotherhood and Paradis needs you as much this nation needs the soldiers. Marley finally regains their country from the Templars’ soldiers. Reiner is one hella Commander in Chief.” He chuckled.

“The Armor Titan was made into a Commander? Didn’t know Marley had sympathy to allow an Eldian to rise from the ranks.” Levi said.

“Yeah, I guess it was the templars who made this side of the world more united than I did.” Eren chuckled darkly.

“Promise you will keep her safe if I go?” Levi finally gave in.

“Yeah, I’ll make sure she will be safe.” Eren confirmed.

Levi nodded. “Alright, but I’m holding on to your promise, Jaeger.” The shorter man said.

Both men begin to plan out to sneak Levi away from the Templars’ grasp. It’s a good thing the King was still out of the country to deal with some templar business.

(Gilbert)

Ever since he accepted Alexander de Lorenzo’s offer, Gilbert had been receiving expensive gifts from many places around the world. Whenever he meet up the Grandmaster, they had an amazing sex. It felt exhilarating and forbidden. Gilly still received love letters from Nathaniel as the king was on a business trip along the Grandmaster. But Alexander somehow convinced Nathaniel to let Gilbert be in charge of the templars and the people of Paradis even by law it should be the queen. As if he’ll let that man stealing harlot gain more power than him. He had worked his ass off to get where he is. Right now, he had to attend the ball along with her. Ugh they have to work together to make this charity ball successful. This will show both of his lovers that he is capable of taking on a big role. He will not fail. The tailor was adjusting Gilbert’s outfit for the ball. It came from Italy where Alexander was from.

“My Lord, this suit is at it’s finest. Such a luxurious material can’t be found on this side of the world.” The tailor praised him.

“Yes, this is one of a kind.” Gilly gloated.

“It’s all set to be used at the ball. I hope you have a wonderful time. You will be the center of it tonight!” The tailor said.

“Yes, of course.” he smirked.

The ball had started and Gilbert was wearing a viper mask made of gold and crushed diamonds which it’s one of the gifts Alexander gave him. The guests had arrived with their masked on and the outfits were filled with so many colors. The tables of food from all over the world were displayed. The music plays with joy to dance and mingle. So far the ball was looking perfect. It would be magical if this bitch next to him was locked in her room and not greeting the guests. This was supposed to be his night instead the guests praised the queen how beautiful and breathtaking she looks. She was wearing a silver ball gown with the top silk material and the hem was puffy with flower patterns. The chest of the gown was shaped into a heart as her breasts were pushed up a bit. It would be inappropriate but since the Templars took control, Alexander had encouraged Nathaniel to bring in modern fashion and lifestyle even though Nathan wanted the old ways when King Karl had reigned in this island.

Historia’s mask looked like a delicate swan with white and silver. The eye shape had dark shade. She was a Swan Queen as the nobles and Higher class praised. After greeting, he took a glass of champagne to drink and tried to not let her ruin the rest of the night. He will be praised and admired by the end of the night.

(Hange)

Today half of the people are heading out of the walls to prepare to meet their allies across the sea. It’s clear Mikasa had made Hizuru their allies again. Marley had become their allies as well. This was a historical moment. For centuries these two sides were enemies until now.

The Commander of the Survey corps had been alone writing her journal since who knows if her journal could end up in some museum or used as a school research paper.

She and William had been strategizing to give a surprise attack to the templars. But first they are waiting for Eren helping Rick and Reggie to sneak Levi out of the palace. Once it is done, they will give their second base which it’s at the coastline of this island. To let their allies in and heading towards here to take back their home. If Marley was capable of winning their nation so the Paradisian can.

(Sasha)

The female Eldian soldier was having the time of her life residing in the city that never sleeps. New York City was so pretty with light during nights. She had tried many cuisines of different cultures. She was in heaven. The baby had been so far easy to take care of. Atticus had been a good boy. He rarely cries unless it’s necessary. He was a curious baby when toys were given to him to play. Only soft ones as he is just a month old. For a month old, he was a big boy. Sasha thought this kid will be tiny like his parents. Maybe the prince inherited a tall gene from somewhere. That would be funny if the baby grew up to be taller than both of them.

Sasha was strolling with the baby stroller to enjoy nature in Central Park. It’s not like the nature she grew up with back home in her village, but this will do. She spotted a nice big tree where she can place a big blanket and have Atticus lay down to enjoy the fresh air. He had been cooped up in the house for weeks. A child should start embracing nature at this age. Sasha's parents had taken her outdoors when she was days old. As it was tradition back at her village.

She may not be a pro at raising babies but she will from now raise the boy as the way she was raised. Once the blanket was spread Sasha placed the big bag on the blanket then gently picked up Atticus who giggled with joy from being picked up. He loves being carried. This kid was definitely a prince.

“What a cute boy you are?” She coos at the infant.

Atticus squeals in delight. He was laid on the blanket. Then Sasha places his toy jungle gym over him so he can kick and play. Today was a clear warm day with a breeze. Is this what it feels like to be free from discrimation, oppression, war, titans and corruption? This was a true paradise. Sasha didn’t have to worry for her life, but she felt guilty because back home her comrades and family are there where danger lurks.

Sasha smiled at Atticus who was too entertained with his toys dangling over him. She didn’t notice someone’s presence when her mind was drifted away from thinking nostalgia memories with her friends from Levi’s squad.

“What a cute baby you have?” The man looked at Atticus which the infant stopped playing to glanced at the stranger.

Sasha quickly sits up to be on alert if this man gives any bad intentions. “Yes, he is cute. Isn’t he?” Her brown eyes stared at his brown eyes.

“I mean it makes sense since he got his cuteness from his mother.” The man gave a flirty smile at her which Sasha responded with a blush from his bold comment.

“Thanks but I’m not his mother. I’m just his auntie well sorta. It’s really complicated.” She chuckled.

“Oh I’m sorry, I thought he was yours, but that’s a good sign because you’re not with anyone, right?” He grinned.

“I- right. I don’t have a boyfriend if that’s what interests you.” She said while her brow raised up.

“That definitely interests me. By the way, the name is Niccolo Browns. What’s your name?” The man with blonde short wavy hair smiled.

“My name is Sasha Braus and this cutie is Atticus Ackerman.” She glanced at the baby who was again busy playing with his toys.

“Oh what a beautiful name you have, Sasha. The kiddo got a cool name. His parents must have out a lot of thought into his name.” Niccolo said.

“Thank you. Your name sounds fun to say.” Sasha repeated his name especially because she likes the way his name sounds.

“Thanks, I’m glad my name sounds fun to you.” He laughs from hearing her saying his name in different ways.

“So, I notice you’re not from here? Your accent is hard to figure out where you’re from.” Niccolo had been thinking where her accent came from. It’s definitely not any European country. Is she from a Marleyan colony region?

Sasha paused to think if it’s safe to tell this man where she’s from? There’s a chance he may not have heard the Eldian people and the conflict the Eldians dealt with most of the nations from the other side of the world. She took a glimpse at Atticus. The female soldier made a promise to protect the prince at all cost. She can’t let her selfish desires jeopardize the child’s life.

“I’m from an unknown country that not many people knew about.” Sasha said.

“Ah I see...trying to be mysterious?” He grinned. “It’s fine. You don’t have to tell me yet.”

“Sorry, I’m a refugee so this place is still a culture shock, but the food here feels like heaven.” Sasha felt a drool escaping from her mouth at the thought of food.

“Oh a refugee? I’m sorry to hear that. I bet it’s hard to adjust to a new life here? Hold on, you’re a foodie? This makes it easier to woo you.” Niccolo crossed his legs to sit on the grass to be comfortable.

“It’s ok. One day, I will be able to go back home.” Sasha was curious what he meant about wooing her with food? “You know good places to eat?”

Niccolo’s eyes sparkled as she asked him where are the best places to eat in NYC. “I have a restaurant in the Upper East Side.”

“Wait, you’re a chief? That’s so cool. I will happily be your food taster.” Sasha grinned with joy. Food was her passion. She loves to eat that sometimes her friends have to drag her out from a tavern before they get kicked out.

Niccolo was happy to hear she will taste his food whenever he creates a new dish for his customers.

“I would be honored for you tasting my food. Maybe this weekend, I'll show you my restaurant and I’ll make a spectacular dinner. You’ll be the first to try a dish I have created recently. What do you say? A date?” Niccolo glanced at Sasha in hoping she accepted to have a dinner date with him.

Sasha contemplates whether to go on a date with him or not. If she asked her new friend to babysit Atticus maybe she’ll agree to go on a date.

“Yes, it’s a date.” She smiled. Niccolo was pleased she said yes.

(Eren)

It was now the perfect hours to get Levi out of the clushes from the enemies. He had a little meeting with Reggie and that Rick guy. They plan on meeting him and Levi with a carriage full of metals.

The green eyed Titan shifter had Levi dressed up as one of the Jeagerists. Both former comrades could hear the sound of the music and the people chatting. Eren thought of Natasha being there probably bored. He remembered her telling him how she hated going to social events. She dealt with her boredom by drinking and probably flirting with some random guy to where she takes him home for the night. Of course, this is different. She’s with his child. He hopes this escape plan with Levi will go smoothly. Eren wanted to be with his lover to hold her and give sneaking kisses.

The quad holder titan shifter stared at the entrance where the ball was held. Right where Queen Historia was greeting, Eren spotted the woman he loved was also greeting and talking to the arriving guests. He was struck by what Natasha was wearing. Her dress was hugging her body. It looked like it’s her skin, only there were sprinkling diamonds on the top of the dress. Down where the hem of the dress was split on both sides to let her legs exposed including a bit of her thighs. Her mask was a gold and emerald venetian butterfly shape. It covered the upper part of her face. To Eren, she looks mystifying and beautiful.

Levi interrupted him from gazing at Natasha so far away. “So is that your woman huh?” He whispered.

Eren glanced at the captain then nodded to confirm. He could tell that Levi was also staring at Historia so far away. He understood how painful it was to not be with their lover without putting them in danger.

“We’ll get through this, kid. One day, we’ll be with them, but right now we need to be focused.” Levi’s tone was compassionate towards Eren. Long ago, Levi was like a mentor and older brother towards Eren during the time when he was a soldier with one purpose to destroy all titans to free humanity. Now that purpose has changed overtime from learning the truth.

“Right…” Eren takes in this rare moment of Levi being understanding.

Both men resume to walk away the entrance of the ball before they get caught. By the time they exited the palace. Rick and Reggie were already on the carriage with leftover materials covered by a heavy cloak. Quickly, Eren led Levi to hide under the cloak where the materials are.

“Alright guys, be safe and careful. There are many guards tonight because of the ball in this city, but once you get out of the city, you’ll be fine. Send me a letter when you guys make it so the queen can know this escape plan has worked.” Eren said.

Rick and Reggie nodded. “Understood.” Reggie the assassin said. However Rick had one thing on his mind.

“Eren, please let Eve and Maggie know that I couldn’t make it to the ball.” Rick said with a guilt on his expression.

“Alright. I’ll let them know.” Eren said.

“Oi, we should go now before we get caught.” Levi said from under the cloak. All four nodding then the carriage begins to stroll away. Eren watched them leaving the palace. As he can’t see them anymore, the former leader of Jeagerist goes back to the palace.

While Eren was walking to go to his room, Floch stopped him. “Hey Eren, your brother was looking for you.” The green eyed man glanced at the red haired man. He noticed how Floch’s face was covered with bruises and a swollen eye. His cheeks were puffy due to being kicked repeatedly. This looks like how he had looked when Captain Levi beat the living shit out of him to save him from being executed during the first trials of the discovery of being a titan shifter.

“What the hell happened to you?” Eren looked at the red haired Jeagerist.

“Eh, it was some bitch that was playing hard to get.” Floch mumbled annoyingly.

“Playing hard to get or you can’t take a no?” Eren’s sly comment made Floch glared at him. Once upon a time, Floch was one of his loyal followers. This guy admired and praised him like he was some god. When he came back to be a spy for the Assassins, Floch’s behavior became estranged and mad. He assumed power got over his head. As Floch now became the second powerful man in the Jaegerist group, Eren can see him being too entitled, especially having women coming to him. Of course, he had heard rumors Floch won't’ hesitate to cross the line if a woman doesn’t respond to his advances. It disgusts Eren to the core. Floch reminded Eren the First Fritz King when he took Ymir the Founder as his concubine/consort.

“Shut up, Eren. You can’t say shit when you use Belia to warm your cock.” Floch scowled at him.

Eren’s facial expression became dark. He didn’t hesitate to pinned Floch to the wall to remind him who is still in high rank.

“Whatever me and Belia had was an agreement we used each other to fulfill our needs behind closed doors.” His hand gripped tightly on to Floch’s neck. Between him and Floch, Eren is stronger than him. The power of being a titan holder gave him abnormal strength. The only who can compete with a titan shifter’s strength are the Ackermans. They were created to defeat a titan shifter or a pure titan.

He watched how Floch’s eyes widen with fear. The coward forgot not to pissed off a titan shifter like Eren Jaeger.

“T-that’s not what she told me. She thought you and her were together.” The other growled.”

“And you believe her? You know what, don't answer that. Like I said, there was no us between me and Belia so you can tell her to stop with her lies and tell everyone we’re together. She’s too delusional.” Eren scoffed and dropped Floch as he wouldn't waste his time on Floch nor whatever Belia had been telling the Jaegerists. He should have not pursued sleeping with Belia in the first place. It’s one of the main reasons he distanced himself from her. She’s just batshit crazy.

“Of course, she is my cousin, you fucker.” Floch coughed while being on the ground.

Eren didn’t bother to give him attention. He kept walking to find Zeke. Finally, he entered Zeke’s study room which Nathaniel provided him when their alliance was formed. He knocked on the door to hear his brother to tell him enter. His hand turned the knob to open the door and saw Yelena there. It’s rare to see Zeke without Yelena being with him. Even when Eren needed to have a private discussion, she was always there. It irritated him.

“Ah little brother. I’m glad you’re finally here. Make yourself comfortable.” Zeke glanced to see Eren entering.

Eren goes to lean against the wall instead of sitting on a chair. He waits for Zeke to say whatever it was.

“Eren, had you visited Ymir through the Path lately?” Zeke said.

“No, I haven’t. She has been quiet lately, but I will try tomorrow night.” The younger Jaeger brother said.

“That’s strange. She usually keeps in contact with you. Yes, try again when you can. You should wear something formal for the ball, little brother.” Zeke was already dressed in his suit for the ball. His mask was laying on the desk.

Yelena was for once wearing a dress and not a suit like she usually does whenever she attended a social event. Her dress was surprisingly shiny where the flowers pattern spread from the top to the bottom of the gown. Probably, Zeke convinced her to wear something nice for this ball. She was already wearing her mask.

“I’ll think about going to the ball or not.” He said.

“Ah come on Eren. Live a little. You need to have fun once in your lifetime. You dance or flirt with some pretty girl at the ball. Maybe take Belia with you. I heard you two have been very familiar with each other alone.” Zeke grinned.

The dark hair titan holder scoffed when he mentioned Belia. He will have a talk to her. This was all a misunderstanding. If Natasha hears any of these rumors, his chance with her will be over. That’s something he can’t allow. He won’t let anyone come between him and her and their unborn child.

He pushed himself off from the wall. “Is that all you wanted to talk about?”

Zeke noticed how his brother got irritated when he mentioned Belia. What Eren doesn’t know? He had spied on him and the handmaiden girl, Eveline Potts. It makes all sense how Eren behaves around her. His eyes were full of love and compassion. Something he had never seen his little brother act. This had worried him since there’s a chance his brother might not go with their plan. There’s two alternative plans both Zeke and Yelena could do. Either offer Eren to let his child born if he continues the plan or cause an accidental death of Eveline Potts. Something Levi's words had sunk in his mind. His little brother is a hot blooded man and he did spend so much time with Eveline, but he also spent time with Belia. Maybe he should ask Yelena to check if Belia is not with a child too. Zeke will only let one child from his brother exist.

“Yes, we are done here. You can go now. Oh, if you do have fun tonight make sure you are extremely careful. You don’t want to end up having some poor bastard child born into this hateful world.” He said.

This made Eren’s hand shaken on the doorknob. He was now suspicious what his older brother meant by that? Maybe it was nothing since he had once slept with Belia many times. Yeah, that’s what Zeke meant.

“Don’t worry about that. I am careful.” Eren opened the door then walked out. He shut the door. He was panicking inside. Does Zeke find out about Natasha and the baby? Damn it. He should have made Natasha leave with Rick, Levi, and Reggie. Fuck what Rico and the others will say. His growing family’s safety is his main priority. Guess he’ll be going to the ball to talk to her about leaving the palace.

When Eren reached his room, he saw a suit already laid out for him to wear. Next to it was a mask for the ball. He sighed then began to get ready for the ball.

(Eve/Natasha)

Earlier that night as the ball had just begun, Eve finished getting ready as she put on the emerald earring studs her grandmother let her borrow for the night. For the final touch she slipped the ring that Eren proposed to her. His mother’s ring was perfect for the dress she was wearing. It’s too controversial, but the Templars wanted to bring a modern lifestyle to this island. Let’s see if the crowds are ready for her entrance. Natasha is a Stark and the Starks are the center of the attention. Tonight, she is the late Tony Stark’s granddaughter.

After being ready, she went to Historia’s chamber, who gasped seeing how beautiful Eve looked. Eve blushed from receiving praises from her own grandmother. Of course, Eve complimented Historia’s gown. She looked like a queen in her own rights.

“Are you ready, your majesty?” Eve said. Historia gave a smile and nodded.

“I am. Let’s leave. The guests should arrive by now.” The blonde woman came out of her bedroom and saw a few of her ladies chatting excitedly about the ball. One of them was Belia who happened to be a Jaegerist. What Natasha researched on Belia? She is the daughter of some lord and a mistress who’s related to Floch. Basically, both Olivia and Floch are cousins. That woman had given Eve hateful glares. It doesn’t bother the female Ackerman, but it all makes sense how they resemble each other.

At the moment, Eve ignores her and focuses on the queen. The queen was in lead. Eve was almost next to her but a few inches behind her the rest of the ladies were behind Eve. She won’t be surprised if they all were offended in why the queen allowed a handmaiden in front of them who are noble blood. Eve may have royal blood but this time era no one knows beside Eren. By the time, they all entered the ballroom. People made eye contact with them, especially when the queen had arrived at the scene. The guests praised the queen on how beautiful and elegant she looks tonight. The brunette could hear the noble ladies were giggling and enjoying the attention they are also getting. Natasha was walking like the ballroom floor was the runaway. She may not have been a model but she was a fast learner whenever she had attended a Fashion show with her nana long ago.

The queen began to greet the guests along with this guy Gilbert. Eve was quiet waiting patiently for the queen to be finished greeting. Meanwhile, she observed the crowd. She spotted Eren all the way at the hallways before entering the ballroom. He’s probably busy dealing with whatever a Jaegerist does. Finally, the greeting was over and Historia gave her ladies including her a dismissal for them to enjoy the event.

Now, Eve goes to find her friend and his girlfriend. They were supposed to be here by now. As she was browsing through the crowds, some men had their eye on her. She can see the way they look at her like she’s some prize to possess. Eve noticed she was not the only one wearing a controversial outfit. Oh god, she hopes they don’t come towards her to ask for a dance. Just when luck was not on her side, a man approached her with confidence while sipping a glass of champagne. Wonderful. She is craving for a glass or more of champagne.

“Hello you, majestic beauty. I haven’t seen you before. Shall I be your first to dance?” He smirked. The pregnant woman was about to reject the man but a certain obnoxious woman decided to step in for her.

“Yes, she would love to dance with you, my lord.” Belia pushed her towards the nobleman which he caught her from falling. Eve can feel his hands on her waist. The heiress glared at the other woman who had a smirk.

The man dragged her to the dance floor. Eve observed how the people are dancing. It looks like waltz so she positioned herself to dance. His hand gripped on her hip which he was supposed to place it on her back. She glared at the man.

“Hey you’re supposed to have your hand here.” She removed his hand from her hip to place it on her back.

“I do apologies, my lady. It seems my hand has a mind of its own.” He grinned.

“Huh right.” She rolled her eyes but started to waltz around the dance floor. The music was playing as she danced with this stranger.

While she was dancing, partners were switched to the nearest pair. Eve was dancing to another stranger then once again she was switched.

“Ms. Potts, what a delight to see you here?!” Zeke smiled as he led the dance.

“Oh hello Mr. Jaeger. Yes, I finally decided to come to the ball.” She said.

“I’m glad you decided to come. You look beautiful like a butterfly. I’m sure you have already got some suitors wanting to dance with you.” He smirked. Zeke noticed her gown was revealed on both her legs and shoulders. Even he can’t help how irresistible she looks tonight. His brother has a good taste. It’s a shame. She’s taken by his little brother. The way her dress was tight around her body, it seems she isn’t showing yet of her pregnancy.

“Thank you and you look handsome as a bird?” Eve couldn’t tell what kind of mask Zeke was wearing.

“It’s a peacock.” Zeke said.

“Ohhh I see now because of the feathers.” She said.

“Miss Potts, I’ve always been curious about where you're from?” Zeke wanted to fish for as much information from her.

“Where I’m from?” This caught her off guard. “I’m from Trost District. I’m curious why this interests you?” She felt a bit suspicious on why Zeke wanted to know where she’s from.

“It’s the way you behave towards people. It’s not how a native of this island acts. I know you’re not from Marley or other nations where Eldians are being segregated.” Zeke said.

“And where do you assume where I’m from, Mr. Jaeger?” Her brow raised up as she suspected where this would lead.

Just when he was about to answer, Floch interrupted their conversation. “Zeke, you don’t mind if I steal this gorgeous creature?”

“No, you can dance with her.” Zeke said, feeling disappointment their conversation was interrupted. He let go of Eve and bow to end their dance. “It was a pleasure to dance with you. Miss Potts.” Zeke left her with Floch which she was not pleased being alone with this creep.

Floch already grabbed her hand and placed his on her lower back close to her bottom. He led the dance as a different song was playing. It was a bit faster to waltz.

“What do you want now, pig?” She hiss at him.

“I suggest you don’t make a scene. You’ll embarrass yourself in front of this stuck up rich and noble people.” Floch glared.

“Apparently kicking your ass once wasn;t enough for you to leave me alone.” She cynically responded.

“Listen bitch. It wouldn’t get to that point that night if you give in. I would have made you crave my touch.” He leaned in to whisper seductively.

This guy doesn’t have any self respect or to anyone if he thinks she’ll just let him do whatever he pleases. “You’re full of yourself if you believe I’ll beg for you to fuck me? Why are you so stubborn to want me? There are other ladies who gossip in wanting to get fucked by you.” She scowled.

“Because you’re the mysterious woman every man in this palace wants to have. I will be the first to have that taste before any other man. Beside, that dress; you’re making it difficult not to ignore you.” Floch’s eyes stared up and down slowly. She felt he was undressing her with his eyes. How repulsive he was to her?

“I’m not some sex object for you to keep being persistent like a child who doesn;t get what he wants.” She was about to free herself when a familiar voice cut in.

“Floch, you heard the woman. She has no interest in you.” Eren placed his hand on Floch’s shoulder which the red haired man flinched cowardly.

“Fuck off, Eren. She just hasn't been with a real man.” Floch tries to be brave and not let Eren take this woman too.

Eren ignored Floch’s hostility as he preferred to give his attention to Natasha. “Eveline, may I have this dance?”

She gave a warm smile to her lover. Yes, she may be mad at his actions from a week ago but seeing him here may her heart beat fast. He always has a way to make her melt and he doesn’t try to do anything.

“Yes, you may have a dance with me, Eren.” To free herself from Floch’s grip, she stomped his foot a bit hard to cause him hiss from pain. He let her go and Eren grabbed her hand to pull her away from him.

Both couples left Floch alone as they headed away. Eve sighed in relief. “Thank you for saving me from not kicking his ass again.” She said.

“Again? He- oh it was you who gave him those bruises? What did he do to you?” Eren realized she was the woman who caused Floch pain for a week.

“Let’s not talk about it. We’re at a ball. Let’s enjoy ourselves tonight, my love?” She doesn’t want a fight to break out if Eren finds out what Floch had tried to do with her that week ago.

Of course, Eren sensed she was deflecting his question and became insistent. “Babe, tell me what did he do to you? Did he try to hit on you?” Eren’s tone was getting a bit aggressive yet it was low enough for only them to have a private conversation.

“Eren, please can we talk about it after tonight? I promise I will tell you, tomorrow. I know you will cause a scene and fight him which the ball will be ruined.” Eve pleaded with him.

Eren scoffed annoyingly but accepted her plea. “Fine, but tomorrow promise you will tell me then I will happily kick his ass.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh my hero.” Her tone was sarcastic.

He smirked and leaned into her ear. “I can be more than just your hero. “ His tone was husky. Eve felt her body getting warm from how it reacted from his tone.

Damn it her pregnancy hormones are acting up. She had read it’s possible that pregnancies can cause sex drive but randomly. She took a better look at what he was wearing. He wasn’t wearing a suit like other men were wearing tonight.

“Why aren’t you wearing a suit?” She asked.

“Oh, Zeke or Yelena had chosen an outfit for me but I used a black dress shirt that I bought earlier and a black dress pants. I picked the devil mask cause it represented me.” He said.

She does see the horns from his mask. He does look like the devil which it made more difficult for Natasha not to make it obvious she desires him right now. They danced the fun happy music until it’s over.

The group on the dancefloor clapped. Eren noticed the ring Eve was wearing on her finger. He gently grabbed her hand and smiled. “I’m happy that you’re wearing my mother’s ring. You make it look beautiful. And your dress. You love making people eye on you huh?” He teased her.

“It goes with the earrings. That’s why I’m wearing it tonight.” Eve said. She was trying not to give him ideas of him being forgiven. Her fingers playing with the ring on her other finger. This jewel had gone through so much and yet it still looks good as new.

Eren couldn’t help himself to brush a strand of hair from her elegant loose lower bun hairstyle. He carefully observes every detail of her.

“What are you thinking, my love?” he whispered to her.

“I am thinking of wanting a glass of champagne.” Her lips pouted when her steel eyes glanced at a waiter carrying a tray of glasses of champagne. Eren chuckled how adorable she looks.

“You know you’re not allowed to. It’s bad for the baby.” He still whispered. She groaned and rested her head on his chest.

“It would be simple if I feel repulsive like most of the foods I eat. Seriously, your kid doesn’t let me enjoy meals without throwing up.” Eve peeked up at Eren.

“You should tell the kitchen staff to serve you mashed potatoes with lemon water. It will help the food go down to your stomach and the water will stop the nausea whenever you eat.” Eren said.

Eve was amazed how Eren knew this vile information. “Where do you learn from?”

“Remember my dad was a doctor? Sometimes as a kid I used to go with him to see his patients including Mikasa’s mother when she was pregnant.” He explained.

“Oh right. Hmm, would you be a doctor if you didn’t choose to be a soldier to fight the titans?” In the background, a new song was playing to dance slowly which both pairs danced together. Eren held her hand to spun her gracefully. Once she spun, Eren pulled her against his body.

“Probably or I might be a military doctor instead.” He admired the way her dress flowed when she spun around.

“But instead you chose to fight alongside.” Natasha said. Eren nodded. Both remained quiet as they danced.

“Wait for me here. I have a request to make to the musicians.” Eren whispered to her ear. She nodded but was curious what kind of request he would ask of them.

Eren let go of her then walked away from the dance floor. Eve was alone as others around her danced to the soft music. At first it felt awkward standing around alone until the music had changed to a melody that it sounds familiar but doesn’t remember where she had heard this song. It felt time had stopped and only saw Eren walking towards the dance floor. She noticed the dance floor was empty. Her thoughts wonder how she is going to dance this song which sounds medieval only a touch modern.

“What song did you tell them to play?” Eve asked him.

“Volta.” He said.

Natasha didn’t know how she knew the dance moves to Volta but her legs began to carry her away. She danced around him in a way seducing her partner to dance with her. His emerald eyes focus on her. Once she made a few dance steps around him, he bowed mockingly. Natasha smirk then curtsy to him. Her arm reached out for Eren to grab on. Natasha moved towards him but stopped as she held his arm. She slid her hand down to his hand. The heiress let go of his hand to dance around him but much closer.

Eren could feel her warm alluring presence as his eyes watched her like a predator. Her dress flows from the twirls. Her legs exposed as she showed her dancing skill. In his eyes, he was looking at the temptress that seduced him from his once destiny to cause chaos to save humanity and his people. Eve was charismatic and mysterious which had intrigue some of the men in the palace. That irritated Eren by listening to them talking about his woman. Then his train of thoughts were interrupted as he felt Eve’s hand clap on to his front throat. She squeezed it but stroked up to his chin and held on to his jaw while her silver eyes gave off her seductive stare. Oh he knew what she wanted from him. Both could feel their lips hover teasingly.

They can feel the desire and passion for each other as their dance turned into a battlefield of sexual tension. If it was possible, Eren would take her right here on the dance floor. He took a few steps forward making her take a few steps back. Their sights on each other haven’t broken once. The music begins to pick up the beat a bit fast. They may not hear the crowd excitedly watching them dancing, but they were aware of how their dance will give them something to talk about after the ball.

Eren held her hand to spin her around then stopped her while her back was facing him. In the crowd, few faces watched with different expressions. Historia smirked with joy as she knew who was the person behind the devil mask dancing with her handmaiden. Zeke and Yelena had neutral expressions. On the other hand, Floch was making a distasteful expression. It didn’t take rocket science to know both Eren and Eve have a strong chemistry for each other. The red haired man glanced at his cousin who had a dark look. Belia understood why Eren had not given her divine attention. All this time he had someone and it was this lowly handmaiden. How dare this lowly harlot took what belongs to her. Just when Belia was thinking about the truth of these two, she noticed Eve made eye contact with her and gave a victory smirk.

Belia’s mood became sour as she quickly snatched a glass of champagne from a waitress and gulped down furiously. It looks like war had been declared between her and Eve. The noble woman didn’t bother to stay until the dance ended.

Natasha was pulled to have her back pressed onto Eren’s body as his hands moved to grope her breasts then slide down to her hips. She turned around to face him and took a few steps back to walk fast towards him and hop. Eren lifted her to have her legs wrapped around his waist while he spun both of them around. He places her down but holds on to her arm when both spin together again. He made her spin towards her to latch his hands onto her waist. Natasha could feel his warm breath on her ear which makes it hard to stay composed. She heard him whisper something huskily but her trance of euphoria prevented her from understanding what he said. Whatever he said, she instantly nodded. Once again he lifts her up but a bit higher and spins around. Eve was lifted up in a lying position until he let her down. Her hand movement was elegant and graceful and she was placed down. Both intertwined their arms to have their hand pressed together while spinning slow. Carefully, his arm snaked around her waist as she leaned back to arch her body. He let his fingers to caresses from her neck down to her breasts. Finally, one last turn to Eve facing away from him but their bodies pressed each other. Her face was tilted away while regaining her breath from their intense dance. As the music stopped, the crowd applauded and cheered for them for the entertainment they provided. Their trance was broken when reality abrupted their own world. Both pulled away from each other and smiled at the crowd.

Eve leaned to him to whisper. “Meet me outside by the hall that’s connected to the royal garden.” Just like that the Eldian-American left Eren alone. He gave her a smirk and waited until she disappeared from his view. Once a few minutes passed, the titan holder make way to meet his lady.

(Eren)

The night sky was clear with stars twinkling. The weather was cool. Eren walked through the open hallway outside of the palace. He saw her leaning against the big pillar by the edge of the garden. The emerald eyes man walked towards his lover. She was still wearing her mask. Eren lifted up her mask to see her face completely.

“You took a little long.” Eve said while she pulled him to her. Her lips crashed against his to passionately kiss him. In response to her aggressiveness, he pinned her to the hard surface pillar. His hand groped her thigh to lift up and place on his hip. Both lovers breathe heavy from the fiery intensity for each other. His fingers brushes on her exposing thigh then down to her leg and up back to the thigh. Eve let out an erotic moan. Eren smirks from her reaction.

He breaks away from their kiss to sloppy kiss down on her neck to the valley of her breasts. He noticed her breasts looked bigger than what he remembered. His hand pulled down the top of her dress to have her breasts free. Eren cupped one of them to greedily latch on to her nipple and suckling. Eve’s eyes widen while whimpering from how sensitive her nipples are from the changes of her pregnant body. It may hurt but the adrenaline and lust she felt turned into pleasure. Her hand stroked his dark brown hair then gripped harshly the move he sucked and pulled her nipples.

“E-eren, which room is the closest?” She tried to form a sentence as her moans were increasing.

“Mmmm my room is not that far from here.” His voice became raspy.

“Take me there.” She mewls when his finger makes way where her wet core is.

Eren chuckled how demanding she was being when she was at his mercy. “What’s wrong here? The night sky looks perfect for a passionate love making.” Just like the devil, he encouraged her to give in right here. His finger circles her clitoris teasingly. He could feel the amount of slick she produced. She was probably wet when they were dancing the Volta. He let his thumb attend to her clit while his two fingers entered into her hole to finger in a slow teasing pace. Natasha closed her eyes as she took in the pleasure he was giving. Her hips buck to rock against his fingers.

“Dollface, if you can contain yourself while I taste you, we’ll go to my room to resume our fortification.” He said then Eren pulled his fingers out to suck on them. She never disappoints him with how delicious she tastes.

He kneel down to the ground and place her leg on his shoulder. Her back leaned comfortably as her eyes gazed down to watch him lifting the hem of the dress. She bit down her lips when his tongue stroked her core. Subconsciously, her hand gripped and pulled his hair while he feast between her legs. This will be harder than she expected for her not making any noises. He continues to ravish her until a wave of orgasm rush into her. A small whimper escaped from her lips which Eren pulled away from her core then got up to take a look at his work. Her face was flushed while her chest rose up and down from regaining her breath. Her hair came undone. He felt satisfied in leaving her like this. His hands help pull down her dress. He helped tucked her breasts back into the top of her dress.

“Can you walk to my room?” He gave her a grin.

She glared playfully then smirked. “Of course I can.”

With that, both of them quickly walked to Eren’s room to finish off what they had started.

(Alexander)

He picked up his phone while it rang. Once the phone was answered, a breathless man began to speak.

“Sir, Subject 18 had escaped.” The Grandmaster frowned at this news.

“How did you let that happen? Your job was to make sure Subject 18 was locked with tight security. You have failed me. I will immediately take a leave back to Paradis. Once I arrive, you better find the culprit who let him escape.” His tone was dark as this news had ruined a perfect day in his villa home in Italy. Alexander hung up and sipped his wine trying to calm down. He will need another descendant to complete data if they can’t find Levi to bring him back. If his theory was true, the Eve had led the revolution to free humanity. With her memories, he could find a particular item to dominate the world.

A/N: If you guys needed an idea how the Volta dance looks like, I use the one in The Tudors where Anne and Henry danced together in a small gathering. You can find it on YouTube. Other than that, enjoy this chapter.

#eren jeager #jaegerists #oc female #OC: Natasha #sahsa braus #niccolo #sasha x niccolo #historia reiss #levi ackerman #crossver #Asassin's Creed #and others

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technogeekmituna · 5 years ago

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STEVEN UNIVERSE FUTURE SPOILERS

Pink Diamond Background Analysis

Disclaimer: This post is not a discussion on if Pink Diamond was the worst thing to ever exist, so don't try applying arguments slandering/defending her here. This is a post about, potentially, explaining how she turned into who she was. So enjoy.

Soo... Now that we know Pink Diamond was a bit of a spoiled, temper tantrum throwing, demanding, and violently explosive child-like Diamond and that she expressed her frustrations aggressively, I think a lot of her absence of growth makes sense.

Imagine a child if you will. You know children can be explosive and bratty things sometimes, even if they're raised properly, healthily, and rightly, when they don't get that doll or bike. It just happens. They're growing humans that can't express themselves. They learn and grow, and they eventually learn how to properly process their emotions without having tantrums or breaking things when they get mad.

Now. Imagine a young Pink Diamond raised in an empire based on dictatorships and being in the top ranks with much older Diamonds with a lot of responsibilities and worlds/gems to manage over.

Now compare the two statements. Imagine a four year old sister with her eighteen year old sibling who has all these things that consumes her attention, physical things like make-up, a special keepsake that gets a lot of love, or something new and shiny that is adored and fawned over.

We know how kids are. They want what you have, especially if it takes your attention.

Pink Diamond is basically a child. She wants what the other Diamonds have, and when she can't get it she explodes with her tantrums. Human children can be extremely violent when denied a want: destroying toys, making messes out of anger, ripping things apart, stomping and hitting things, loud yelling, and obnoxious crying/wailing with big crocodile tears. It's awful.

She exhibits almost all of these things. She punches the wall of Yellow's base, she gets stompy and demanding from Stevonnie's POV, she screams when denied things. She broke Pink Pearl.

Now imagine a child all tuckered out from their tantrum. They cry, they're sad. They look around and notice the mess. It's awful, because they were so full of anger, and they didn't know how to express themselves without the violent outburst. Now their toys they love are wrecked and it's their own fault because they caused them to be damaged/broken forever. Now they're miserable.

Pink Diamond was a Diamond that didn't quite fit the quota. She wasn't allowed to have a colony because she doesn't act like a Diamond, she's not fit to run one, she's not mature enough, etc. But she wanted what the others had. She threw her tantrums when denied her wants. She got punished by being locked in a tower, alone, for years, on a lot of occasions.

Child or Diamond, that doesn't teach anything. It only enforces more bad behavior or more backlash of angry emotions. Or being hurt and miserable. Or teaches that you have to act a certain way and to keep your shit to yourself.

Pink Diamond hurt Pink Pearl physically. She also hurt her psychologically to the point P. Pearl's gem couldn't fix her form. Abuse begets more abuse, and even if Pink Diamond didn't mean to, she did it.

She broke and hurt her only friend that she could express herself with, albeit secretly, and White Diamond took the damaged toy away and gave Pink another.

This stage of events changed Pink Diamond. Rather if it was Pink Pearl being damaged and taken away, a fault all due to Pink Diamond, and then Spinel and CG Pearl being given to her to replace her original Pearl or wanting to be seen as mature, this set her to change.

But being a Diamond that was only punished, belittled, mistreated, threatened, abused, ignored, pushed to fit the status quo, told no no no without a follow up as to why or any reasonable explanation to help her understand that she still had to grow up first, made to feel guilty just for herself being more expressive and curious about organic life, shamed, neglected of proper growth and tolerance from the system that made her... fucked Pink Diamond's growth up.

You can only grow and mature so much in an environment that doesn't allow to do too much without repercussions.

Imagine a child wants to do gymnastics. They really want to! They start, they do it, then they don't want to. It could be various reasons, but they don't want to anymore. Yet they are forced to, because it was expensive, because they whined, begged, bothered, and moaned and groaned to do it, so now they gotta. Deal with it.

Pink finally decided she wanted out, so she did what she did. That's the issue of her character. She did bad things, awful things, unforgiving and unforgettably terrible things. She might have been an abuse victim, but she abused others too.

Abuse is a boiling pot word, because when we think of abuse we think violence with bruises and blood, of psychological, emotional, and mental stigmas that limit things because of ptsd flashbacks, child abuse being spanked and yelled at. That the victim is just a victim, and they can't do harm unto others. That's just not how the cycle works.

All situations are different. All reactions are different.

I'm a victim of child abuse. I was physically and verbally abused, but those treatments formed into emotional baggage for years that I'm still working on. I've been a bad friend, a selfish friend, a childish friend, a guilt-tripper, a strain on mental health, I've lied for my own benefit. I've been an abuser. You might not think you are, or maybe you had a self-realization on your actions/behavior, but you have potential to be an abuser too.

It could be a result from my own abuse from my mom, or how she and my grandmother impacted me, or my environment which I suffered in. Or I could just be a bad person. But I understand it's my own problems now and that I have to work on myself. (Probably why I understand/interpret Pink like I do.)

We all try to deal with it, or grow out of it, or ignore it, or whatever to bare with it.

Pink Diamond, despite the HUUUUUGE amounts of problems she left behind, did what she thought was right while dealing with her issues. Keeping her past secret from Pearl, forcing Pearl to keep her identity a secret, not talking about herself, bubbling Bismuth, hiding from the Diamonds-- all her lies and secrets stem from her time on Homeworld. She doesn't understand how to connect to people, like Greg, or she held herself back from getting close to others, like CG Pearl, or how she reflected Garnet's question back at her so she didn't have to talk about herself, or how she fought for a freedom on Earth for a lot of reasons, like maybe her own personal freedom, among her want to save the Earth and its inhabitants.

She tried to protect people by hiding things. She lived and never regretted missing Homeworld, her past life, or the Diamonds. I can almost guarantee you Pink suffered for her actions in the war, regretted the losses. Her actions were her own, and she most likely understood the gravity of the consequences.

They happened though, her mistakes, her guilts, her stemmed problems to Steven, her "running away" from responsibilities, her leaving the Crystal Gems, her detrimental lies coming back to bite everyone, her secrets found by others which ended up ruining their lives, her actions gravely having affects years later... her growth from the life she had.

She was an abuse victim that hurt others too, but she grew all the same from her past and how the Diamonds "raised" and treated her. Her background doesn't entirely define her, but it does define her ability to understand how to properly process/express everything she ever did. It was just unfortunate that a lot of it hurt others she cared about.

She didn't miss the Diamonds. The mere thought of them seemed to irritate her. She can't be compared to them. Because she's not like them. She didn't owe them anything. But she did owe her friends and allies a hella lot.

She's not the worst of the bunch, but she did still come out a bit of a bad, morally gray apple.

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warriorlid14 · 4 years ago

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Ani Re-read Book 3: Part 1

Okay, so it’s been said a thousand times before, BUT. Why is Tobias’s book cover actor not blond?? It is literally mentioned within the first pages in the book. COME ON SCHOLASTICS! Also, not that there’s not an encounter in this book, but there’s an encounter in every book. So the title is very vague.

“My name is Tobias. A freak of nature. One of a kind.” Buddy.

“One afternoon, I was riding the thermals” Everyone take a drink. (game is: drink anytime any of the kids mentions thermals)

Obviously Dealin’ Dan Hawke is a douche, but... iconic name, man.

“Sorry! I missed the first bus! I just got here!” I’m sorry, Tobias, did you just start your rescue mission without verifying if your backup had arrived yet???

“Although right at the moment she wasn’t pretty- impressive, but not pretty.” Excuse you, elephants are beautiful creatures.

Ya know, I don’t know who has the braincell in this group. Like, individually, they’re all smart and capable and hella competent. But put more than one of them together, and all of that immediately vanishes. Tobias. Rachel. My children. That was the stupidest most needlessly risky plan in this series thus far. I love you, but- (They’re clearly 14.)

“But I was glad to fight the Yeerks. Maybe I just had less to lose than the others.” Baby, no.

“We’re supposed to be rescuing the entire human race from being enslaved by the yeerks.” “I thought you didn’t want to save the world, Marco.” Buuuuuurn. Okay, but I’m glad Tobias is fighting back now. These two are clearly still not friends. But at least it’s a little more equal now.

“Marco and I will probably never be very close.” Eggs and bacon, you’re mistaken.

“I guess girls think [Marco’s] cute because he has this long brown hair and dark eyes.” Ah yes. These girls think he’s cute. Not Tobias. No siree, Tobias does not think Marco is cute. (Anyway, I ship it.)

“I saw Cassie and Jake touch their hands together in a way that could almost have been accidental,” rhkjdsfdguh MY HEART

“Hey, Rachel, you’re not just doing this to save the human race... You get off on the danger.” Huh. I hadn’t realized this was brought up this early on.

“You say you’re no leader, but I’ll go with you.” Okay, but honestly, I love missions where Tobias is like “I have a plan and it is ridiculously stupid. Who’s in?” And everyone else jumps in. Tobias doesn’t take the lead often, but when he does, it’s great. (But also, he couldn’t be the leader long-term. He doesn’t want to anyway, but he has too much on his plate to also deal with leader guilt. He does have the inspiration speech part nailed down though.)

“How many risks could we take before we lost? How long till the five of us were four? Or two? Or none?” Well-

You know, I really want to read the scene where they all chose their bird morphs. Like, I’m picturing Rachel immediately calling dibs on the bald eagle. Cassie being like “ok, fine, this is a peregrine falcon. It’s the fastest-” And Jake immediately calling dibs with a smirk to Rachel. And then Marco being like “wait, no. I want to be the falcon, too”. But Cassie is like, “no, variety. plus both the bald eagle and the peregrine falcon have their downsides” and Marco grumbling about it and acquiring the osprey in defeat.

That scene where Cassie and Rachel are setting each other up for jokes at the guys’ expense? Love them.

Also, Marco and Jake fighting over who gets to morph the alpha male? They’re tiny children and I love them. (also, they’ll grow it out of it fast.)

“She still had nightmares about the shrew experience” omg, Rachel and Tobias are already confiding in each other about their nightmares?? My babies.

“Who had bacon for breakfast?... Rachel? Bacon? I thought you said you were going vegetarian!” Lol.

“Which sounded pretty reasonable. Until you noticed that ‘Cassie’ had her head tilted back and her snout pointing at the sky and was yodeling like an idiot.” I’m telling you, all these kids are hilarious.

“I guess I thought that if I ever started to feel really sorry for myself, I might never stop.” So, up until now, Tobias had not said anything that indicated he was upset about being stuck in morph. He comforted Jake when he told him. He’s made a few jokes about it. He’s gone “oh no, it’s not that bad. I love flying.” He’s put on a strong face and dedicated himself to fighting the war. He’s bottled up all his emotions. And it’s going to be absolutely horrible when they inevitably spill over.

“I just know those two campers were out of there before they knew what hit them.” Yeah... they’re probably Controllers now.

“Not that you’d ever want to give it a hug. Taxxons are gross, disgusting creatures.” Hey!

Marco and Tobias are so smart?? They were immediately like, “huh. This ship is picking up supplies. This is a weakness that can be exploited.”

“I was human. I was a boy named Tobias... But part of me kept saying. ‘It’s a lie. It’s a lie. You are the hawk. The hawk is you. And Tobias is dead.’“ I’ll talk about this later. But for now: :(

Tobias really is the deus ex machina in the group. I can’t count the number of times the kids are in a tense situation and then Tobias comes in for the save. Especially when he’s separated from them. It’ll be like “OMG, WE’RE GOING TO DIE!!!” and then Tobias will show up and like, dive bomb the person attacking them. He’s their eyes in the sky. The team scout. The ace up their sleeve.

So this scene where the kids almost get trapped in morph is probably the most intense scene in the series thus far (at least until the second half of this book). And it’s only a few pages long. But oh man, Tobias. We have him desperately urging his friends to demorph, trying his best to help them even through his own distress. Marco is using him as motivation to morph faster, and Tobias just has to take it because he knows it’s what Marco needs. The understandable relief from the others as they make it out, and as much as he’s glad for them, there’s the sick realization that this will never be him. He will never be human again. And the pitying glances that he gets afterwards. Which, by the way, he has been putting up with for weeks now without a word. Just... BABY.

I’m going to stop there for now, even though this means that part 2 will be a little longer than usual. But speaking of: major trigger warning for attempted suicide for part 2.

Previous installment here.

#warriorlid reads animorphs #animorphs #animorphs spoilers #suicide mention

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jess-rewatches-prodigalson · 5 years ago

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Episode 16: The Job

Here are my time-stamped thoughts as usual.

WRITTEN THE MORNING OF April 20, 2020. EPISODE 19 HAD NOT YET BEEN RELEASED!!!!

SPOILERS AHEAD

0:10 - How much time has passed since the end of last episode? A week? A month?

0:15 - You can see Mr. David sitting outside the door here. I can’t tell if he’s looking into the cell. BUT if everyone thinks that Jessica stabbed Martin - why is she allowed into his cell right now?!?

0:17 - Malcolm looks so dead inside right now. Dang. This boy does not want to be visiting Martin. Jessica looks angry with Martin and done with his antics - as usual.

0:50 - Martin is so proud that Malcolm stabbed him. This is peak dysfunction.

1:20 - Ugh. Can’t Malcolm catch a break? Martin is manipulating him again.....wait. Did Martin orchestrate his own stabbing just to see Malcolm more often?!? That’s seriously messed up.

1:23 - ....This means that Malcolm had regular visits with Martin when he was a kid. Was it scheduled like some sort of twisted custody agreement? Like every Wednesday afternoon?

2:15 - Why did Jessica and Malcolm go back to Malcolm’s loft instead of Jessica’s house? Is Malcolm’s loft closer? Does the house hold too many memories of Martin?

2:30 - Malcolm looks so scared here. He knows that Martin controls him now. He knows that he’s doing a version of jail-time for his crimes. He’s scared of what his mother is planning. He’s scared that Martin won’t make a statement.

2:48 - Anyone else’s heart break as you watched Malcolm realize that he can’t think of a single happy thing in his life? Mine did. It looks like Jessica’s did too.

3:00 - Why is Jessica still riding the Eve/Malcolm train? Eve told Jessica that Malcolm is a good person “deep down” - hella insulting if you ask me. And they tried to date - it lasted one night. They clearly aren’t meant for each other. Their relationship didn’t last 48 hours!!!

3:05 - Did Malcolm date as a teenager? Was Jessica this meddlesome in his love life then too?

3:17 - OMG. Every child has had this experience with their parent. For me - it was/is every time my grandmother (who lives on another continent) called us. All she talks about is food. I love her but I don’t want a 3 hour conversation about the sales in the grocery store.

3:25 - Is Malcolm even still into Eve? It doesn’t seem like it. I think he just wants to make his Mom happy and make it up to Eve in general. I don’t think he’s in a good mental state to date anyone right now tbh. Even though I ship Brightwell.

3:41 - OMG. Jessica looks like she’s watching her favourite reality TV show. I’m cringing.

4:31 - I love watching Gil make a joke a Malcolm’s expense. It’s kind of adorable - looks how happy Gil looks. Watching JT laugh at it is great too. HOWEVER, I’ve only seen Malcolm wear one (1) watch. A regular looking watch with a brown leather band. I’m no watch connoisseur but it didn’t look like one of those super fancy expensive ones? So I assume Gil is just making a joke about Malcolm’s general wealth?

5:28 - I don’t think Edrisa is making Malcolm uncomfortable on purpose. I think she’s just super socially awkward. She starts backing off as soon as she notices Malcolm’s discomfort. JT’s comment though - hahaha I love him. Give JT more screen time.

5:43 - OMG. Gil, JT, and Dani look so confused and annoyed here. Vijay certainly makes an entrance. Not in a good way. I immediately hate him for being a pompous jerk.

5:50 - Malcolm doesn’t look all that excited to see Vijay. Shocked and confused? Definitely. He even looks a little embarrassed. He looks back at the team as though he doesn’t want them to see Vijay.

6:00 - Vijay is an overgrown bully. He is way too physical with Malcolm, who doesn’t seem to enjoy much physical contact. He doesn’t even like it when Edrisa (a completely harmless, socially awkward friend) stands too close to him. That first slap on Malcolm’s shoulder looked violent - not like friends greeting each other. AND he deliberately calls Malcolm “Whitly” after Malcolm asked him not to.

6:04 - Awww look at how proud Malcolm is to be working with Major Crimes!!! My heart is so full.

6:25 - Malcolm looks super uncomfortable when Vijay wipes his finger gun on him.

6:30- Dani and JT look intrigued and confused that Malcolm knows this dude. They also look annoyed that Vijay is manhandling Malcolm and clearly trying to trick Malcolm into thinking that he and Vijay are friends. AND GIL. Oh dude. Gil has definitely heard stories about Vijay. This man does not like Vijay. Gil does not like Vijay touching Malcolm either.

6:40 - OK. A couple of things: 1) Dani showing up behind Malcolm like his guard dog is adorable. This is the friend Malcolm deserves. 2) Dani’s face when Vijay tries to flirt with her is a mood. This woman is hating Vijay more with every passing second.

7:00 - “Aww. You were bad Dad kids” hahaha brb crying.

7:01 - Seriously though, this is a cool moment. You can see that Malcolm isn’t sure how he feels about Vijay. Dani sees it too....ALSO can we get some more info about this boarding school? Was it in New York? Was it only for high school? Did Malcolm come home on weekends? How did Malcolm’s nightmares work in the dorms?! I HAVE QUESTIONS.

7:17 - And here comes Papa Gil. Calling Malcolm loudly by his preferred name. As a subtle reminder to Malcolm that they’re working AND a subtle shot at Vijay the douchebag.

7:40 - I’ll say it. When the killer lifts up his visor it looks like Vijay. I spent most of this episode convinced that Vijay was the killer.

8:44 - Ugh. When Vijay (or anyone really) winks I just want to deck them. It’s so freaking gross. I hate him more and more with every passing moment.

8:46 - hahaha this interaction between Gil and Malcolm is everything. Malcolm looks embarrassed, ashamed, and a little scared. Gil just looks concerned that Malcolm is falling for this dude’s act again.

9:05 - hahaha guessing JT’s name is my favourite running gag on this show. Dani knows it - look at her face. AND Malcolm he just looks so happy to have a game to play with JT. JT even looks happy about it. It’s so cute. Malcolm is acting like the annoying little brother he is.

9:20 - Inserting yourself into a murder is a RED FLAG that usually indicates the perpetrator right? ....why are we not investigating this douche?

9:30 - Dani and JT do not like Vijay. OMG. They’re both throwing sarcastic insults Vijay’s way. I assume it’s partially because Vijay is acting like a pompous jerk and trying to do their jobs for them. It’s probably also because they heard him be a dick to Malcolm at the crime scene. Dude wasn’t quiet.

10:30 - “Please stop.” I honestly think Malcolm only said that because Gil was watching from the doorway (like the protective dad he is). Something tells me that Malcolm’s self-worth is so low that he would’ve just let Vijay keep talking until it was safe to leave if Gil wasn’t there.

11:05 - Again. Mr. David isn’t looking into the room. Why?

11:18 - Why does Martin know about Vijay? For some reason it upsets me to think that Malcolm and Martin talked about anything other than murder.

12:07 - FINALLY. The epiphany of a lifetime. Malcolm has finally realized that his trust issues stem from his father. Ugh. It only took 20 years of therapy and the reappearance of Vijay.

12:25 - I hate that Martin refuses to acknowledge that he caused Malcolm any pain. Every parent makes mistakes because no human being is perfect. Good parents sometimes cause their children emotional pain unintentionally but they at least acknowledge it. More proof that Martin is scum.

12:51 - A couple of things. 1) I am so proud of Malcolm. Did you see the way he threw Gil in his dad’s face?!? Gold. Genius. 10/10. A+. BUT 2) The look on Martin’s face in reaction to Gil’s name (and Malcolm’s obvious respect and love for Gil) terrifies me. I’m so scared that Martin is going to find a way to injure/kill Gil. I’m terrified that he’s going to make Malcolm watch.

13:55 - So...we’re all just going to pretend that this is medically possible? Ok. ALSO why is no one concerned about Dani?!?! All the victims have been pretty, young women with dark, curly hair. THAT IS DANI. Why has no one said anything?!? This episode would’ve been so much better if she was kidnapped and the team had to save her.

14:30 - Gil throwing shade at Vijay. <3 Also - look at the way Gil looks at Malcolm when he leaves the room. It’s a look that says “Don’t do anything stupid. I don’t trust this guy.”

14:40 - Vijay called Malcolm “Whitly” again. I’m so mad. I will scream.

15:40 - Vijay is a bad influence on Malcolm. I don’t like this. Malcolm is blackmailing a surgeon and making calls to his father for advice on blackmail. No no. Get Gil back in here - he’s a good influence.

17:00 - ....why does Malcolm know the stats on facial blindness off the top of his head?

18:15 - Gil and Malcolm don’t trust Vijay. Look at those faces.

19:04 - Look at how hard Malcolm is trying to mask his pain here. Ugh. My heart is breaking.

19:15 - Is Vijay really trying to blame this on Malcolm? Vijay is totally manipulating Malcolm. Malcolm is being super honest and aware of his short-comings and Vijay is using him. I hate it.

20:20 - Aww.. Malcolm can’t cook (of course he can’t - boy barely eats). Why is this information still exciting to me? AND Malcolm with rolled up sleeves is attractive. Look at those forearms. ALSO he’s wearing a black watch now. This makes sense though because last we saw of his brown watch was in 1x10. When Watkins had him chained up the watch was gone. I assume it was destroyed in 1x11. This is the new watch? I assume? My headcannon is still that Malcolm doesn’t have more than 2 watches.

20:35 - I feel really bad for Malcolm here. He’s trying so hard to make things right with Eve. He looks so nervous.

20:47 - Soooo Eve isn’t looking for an apology? She’s looking to “talk about his problems”. Yo. Even if I didn’t like Eve before - I wouldn’t like her now. I’m getting the “I can fix him” vibe from her. Those relationships are never healthy.

21:45 - I hate Eve but I will admit: I love that she told Malcolm it wasn’t his fault. That he was just a kid. People don’t tell him that enough. Plus, look at how anxious and sad he is when he tells Eve about the gitb. Ugh. My heart is shattering.

22:30 - Does Gil ever go home? Why is he still at the office? ....also the man has his phone enabled to track Malcolm?!? hahahaha that is perfect. How much do you want to bet that that started after Watkins?

23:20 - Malcolm’s hair is a mess again. It’s time for manic, reckless Malcolm to appear.

23:40 - Malcolm is angry at Vijay. Check out that shade he’s throwing. I’m so happy.

24:50 - Is Vijay paying for the watches out of pocket? Or is his company paying? Either way - not a fan.

26:26 - Jessica is a vicious woman. I love her. “I should call Gil.” BUT now I’m even more scared that Martin will try to hurt Gil.

28:45 - Do you know how I know that Malcolm is a good person? Vijay is a jerk to Malcolm. Malcolm doesn’t like Vijay. Yet, Malcolm saves Vijay.

30:02 - I love this outburst of Malcolm’s. I see in hindsight how it was a coded message. However, I think it was also just a straight shot at Vijay. Malcolm’s smart enough to do both at once. I like Malcolm standing up for himself. It’s sweet.

35:15 - I hate this. I hate that Malcolm’s subconscious tries to convince him that he’s a serial killer. Yes - Malcolm is capable of manipulation. However - he does need friends and he isn’t a killer. Ugh. I feel so bad for Malcolm. Someone give this boy a hug.

38:35 - Malcolm is high on adrenaline and mania right now. He has a concussion. He’s not thinking straight....but it is nice to see him so happy. Too bad it’s like watching someone you love fall into the wrong crowd though.

39:10 - Was Vijay under arrest? He should be. Gil should do it on principle. Because Vijay almost got our favourite profiler killed.

39:50 - I’m sorry. Doesn’t everyone know about Jessica’s search for the gitb?!? SHE BROADCASTED IT ON LIVE TV. She just didn’t call her the gitb.

40:51 - WTF. WTF. No. No. I don’t like Eve. This was such a messed up, stupid thing to do. I don’t even feel bad for her. I just hate her for playing the Whitlys.

Thanks for hanging out.

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dahniwitchoflight · 5 years ago

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Homesquared Chapter 1

Alright so, Im back on the homesquared, whoo

also I got the patreon, but am only now realizing that since buying it literally on the last day of the month im getting charged 25 dollars now and another 25 in a couple hours at midnight when it becomes Jan 1 for the month of January. Never had Patreon before so whoops

Probably should have waited a bit on that? But on the other hand I did intend/budgeted to have gotten patreon sooner so same difference really.

Anyone just gonna focus on Non Patreon Content in this post for obvious reason, so away we go!

Gotta love the immediate comparison to Dirk’s “Plants are a man’s best friend” speech from Jake lol

“Plants, Jake has decided, are really the best sort of chums. They are quiet, friendly, and easy to please. All they need is a little water and fresh earth, and they are perfectly happy to lie there all day in the sun. And they don’t make increasingly inhumane arms deals and appear on talk shows expounding on the dangers of interspecies marriage. They have never, as far as Jake knows, fucked a clown.”

Not as bad as Dirk’s “I like it when people are helpess against me” but still not really a good view either with Jake’s “I like it when people are low maintenance and don’t expect much effort from me”

I like the brackets being fully established as (Not Important) with the (==>)’s when really when you use them in text to me it always felt more like sidenote: (The Stuff in the brackets isn’t the main focus but still good to know before you continue on)

Theres a lot of Focus on Plants in general and therefore space in all of this speech and text as well, maybe a subtle nod to Calliope being in the text

“ JAKE: It appears that no matter what timeline were inhabiting i can count on you to be absolutely impenetrable! “

Dirk is a top and Jake is a bottom in their relationship, not surprising

Brain Ghost Dirk is hella mean, no idea if that’s more leaning towards that Jake hates himself or Dirk is generally an asshole but considering how BGD said he is both and the alcoholism im gonna go with both

But, the core of it is that BGD is how Jake is manifesting his Hope of something better in a hopeless situation, Hope generally meaning good times and happiness, but also delusions, so is this spy thing a good idea for Jake to do? Jake and (Dirk) certainly think so, but whats the real value in that?

also

Dirk: Your emotions don’t matter

Jake: Alright

nvm this is definitely a splinter of Dirk desperately crawling his way back to relevance through the only means available to him, so starved for attention of any kind at all that he dedicates two panels of himself sparkling and laying over a desk while pouring on about how distracting he is

“DIRK: It’s not because you’re a man. You’re a god.

JAKE: Oh right. That.

DIRK: The world comes first, even at the expense of all your relationships and personal happiness. That’s what being a hero means.

JAKE: I guess...i never really thought about it like that.“

Yeah, Dirk definitely manipulating Jake for his own ends, which is a shame, because I’d always imagined BGD to be that one sliver of Dirk representing the good in him since he was specifically a splinter created from NOT Dirk but Jake’s flattering impression of him, but a dirk is a dirk is a dirk I guess

“DIRK: Think what you want about Jane, but at least she realizes that none of you can ever be normal, and she never bothered to try. Can it really be a god-complex if you’re actually a god?

DIRK: People like us don’t get happy endings.“

So Dirk thinks because they are all actually Gods, that they would all inevitably fall into God Complexes because why wouldn’t they? And in doing so all becomes Villains because having a God Complex is the same thing as saying “My needs and wants matter and other people’s dont because I’m better than the lesser folks” Superiority train of thought, which is inherently evil way of thinking, and so naturally any act against that person to kill them would be just

But the problem is that’s how Dirk sees it, not how Jake sees it or anyone else, Jake had completely forgotten about his so called god powers and was content to drink and garden and dream for the rest of his life.

Dirk is incorrect in that having god powers turns a Human into a God, it simply turns a Human into a Human who also has God Powers. Everything inherent to Humans but not to the ideal perfectional state of being that is “Godhood”, every human emotional imperfection and bias and state of being isn’t getting wiped away upon achieving God Hood like I suppose Dirk is believing about himself and the others.

Dirk is just so gosh damned narcissistic, that he believes that because his biases and way of thinking didn’t change when he achieved actual God powers and God Hood means that he was already correct about everything he wanted to believe and the way he is was already his ideal perfection, instead of the truth of the matter which is that nothing about his personality changed upon achieving godhood because it had nothing to do with that

Dirk just already had a God Complex from the beginning so he just didn’t notice any difference.

He thinking God in terms of Gnostic Monad god all knowing perfect personality and bias-less when really god hood in Homestuck is just like, Greek God hood, youre just a human being with fancy powers and abilities and the same ability to be kind or ruthless as it pleases you

#Homesquared #Homestuck #No wonder Dirks so convinced he will be a villain #he's fulfilling his own self fulfilling prophecy #Dirk needs to realize his concrete discrete flaws instead of washing away everything as I AM BAD #Your not a lost cause villain you just dislike valuing other peoples emotional needs over your own welcome to the humanity club #Every human learns to deal with this feeling some better than others #usually around kindergarten #Its just Man Baby-ness thats all it is Adult Man incapable of dealing with toddler problems

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wanderbia · 6 years ago

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Oh gosh, it’s been so long I’m afraid I don’t know how to put words together.

I was checking some old stuff lately and then I was thinking about this blog and then I read my last post and… I knew I had to write something here. To give an update – even if just to myself.

Things changed, scrambled apart and together again, and I ended up going on crazy adventures.

So here’s the story (prepare yourselves because it is a bit long):

It begins after that course/experience I was going to participate in, which was awesome and I met incredible people, but that despite the positive feedback, still left me stranded in the middle of nowhere. I knew it wasn’t really what I wanted to be doing, not quite where I wanted to spend my energy.

So back to usual life I went: freelancing through Christmas and New Year and feeling like shit, month after month, and realizing that the plans I had at the beginning of that year were far and formless. And I couldn’t understand what I could DO to change things. I was HOPELESS, good lord. STILL hopeless.

And then I wanted to go away – FAST. It was just what I knew. I had nothing to lose, I was not earning enough money to be happy with the work I was doing, my anxiety was increasing and increasing and increasing and I was turning into a strange monster I suspect was eating humans at the dead of the night.

So without thinking too much into it I jumped into a plan that had stayed on the sidelines of my life for some time: I bought a plane ticket to Portugal to spend some months with my aunt(who lives there).

And really, if I had this option, why wouldn’t I take it?

My only plan was to get there, find some job at a coffee shop or restaurant and work for 3 months and see where it would lead me. I would probably meet new people, have new experiences and I would be able to BREATHE. And if nothing went well, I could at least earn some money and travel a bit. Good, right?

So in last April there I went, not really knowing what to expect.

I had never stayed so long far from home and people told me I would miss everything a lot. But for some reason I was not scared and was really calm about it all. I REALLY missed home only once, during my second week there – and I believe it was more because I was having one of those days than anything else. I mean, I talked to my mom everyday through video call and messaged my friends all the time so?

But still of course things never go as swiftly as expected.

First I tried finding different and cool courses to take so I could have different experiences. But I found only a few that sounded interesting and that weren’t too expensive.

Then I started looking for work (part-time) – at the beginning at specific places and then afterwards everywhere. (THROW YOUR RESUMES EVERYWHERE)

No success for the first 2 months.

And then I got an opportunity to work at a restaurant – full time, night shift. It was far from what I wanted but I took it. It was hella fun and interesting. It gave me good money, I meet fun people! Gained crazy experience! Served a lot of crazy people!

But it was also extremely tiring. I would get home 1h30 AM, drained. So after a month and a half I knew I couldn’t do it anymore – and one of the courses I was interested in would be during work time, and I really wanted to do it. So I decided to try and change my shift, but not being able to do it I ended up quitting.

I took the course. It was meh. Not what I expected, and shorter than what I wanted. By then it was already August. I felt stupid for leaving the job for something that really didn’t help me much.

I felt again stuck and lost.

And then my aunt started to say how I should try and find a work in my area – which is Design, which made me feel sick just to think about, which I was trying to get away from by going there. And bless her, my aunt is a very nice person who gave me a place to stay and cared for me a lot – but she started to make me go crazy a bit. Because she started to push at all my anxiety buttons and “what I was going to do now” and “what were my plans” and “how I should do this and do that”.

One day I had a fight with her because of it, and called my mom crying, eager to get out of there. I had already bought the ticket back when I went – for September – and I just had to wait one month and I would go home and everything would be alright.

But it still felt like a waste, going away. I was there, in a place full of possibilities, and going back home where I had nothing to expect? It sounded bad.

So I remembered this little seed of an idea that I had come upon on my first month there: WWOOFing. An idea that I was a bit afraid to try, to be honest.

It sounded too crazy, too far from who I was. Probably not what others were expecting I would do. But at that time I was a bit desperate and just willing to go anywhere. So I sent a message to a farm, then to another, and then decided I would delay my flight to the end of the year and use all my time to go to those farms. I was excited, truly excited, for the first time in months.

I mean, how I didn’t do this before? I love nature. I’m always aching to be near it. I feel it deep in my bones all the time and just seeing a beautiful place full of nature makes my heart beat fast. I could even fucking become a tree. So it looked like the perfect option.

And let me tell you: I had A BLAST. The best 3 months in my life. I loved being in the middle of nowhere. I loved working with my body, planting. I loved getting dirty and putting my hands in the soil. I loved going on walks on my free time. I also loved meeting new people – people like minded. WONDERFUL people, from all around the world. I did crazy things that I wouldn’t ever think of doing before: including a trail in the middle of nowhere to try and find an abandoned convent (that me and a friend actually discovered it was out of bonds for the public lol).

It was fun. It was a marvelous experience. And it put me right where I felt I should be. I never felt so fearless as I did during those months.

And despite being introverted and very concerned about personal space, I discovered that I can live with lots of people, sleep in a room with strangers, be ok in ANY place. And actually befriend everyone.

I don’t know, I felt so empowered, so good about myself. So confident.

And then I learned more about Permaculture and Organic Farming and all things related to nature and sustainability. And really, I just want to work with it. I knew I wanted to work near nature and I was thinking of ways of doing it, and this experience showed me different possibilities. Amazing paths.

So now I’m going back to Portugal next month, and I will be staying in an ecovillage where I hope I will learn lots of things and see even more possibilities. I’m planning for the future and am extremely excited in trying to construct my own path. To dance along it.

And that’s it. This is what I wanted to share. I think it is a wonderful follow up to the last post I left here. Passion and Purpose. Because at that time I was feeling lost and anxious, just trying to find things that I liked doing. I wished and wished I could do the right kind of wandering, the one that would give me new perspectives. And then I went out there and DID tried things and it worked (it fucking worked, can you believe it?).

I also realized it doesn’t have to be so complicated. Maybe your passion and purpose is something as simple as being close to nature, like me.

Don’t let that critic inner voice say ‘You should, you should, you should’.

Hear the wants, the needs. Find what makes your heart ache.

Think about something that if someone told you ‘You know, we are deleting this from life’, you would get out of your way and fight for it, tooth and nail.

And well, yeah I am still concerned about earning money and in finding jobs in this area (maybe even going back to college?). It will be hard. But I’m willing to try it all – and I’m so so full of energy.

And most important: I’m happy.

So yeah. If anyone reads it, feel free to share your recent journeys and adventures. And if you just need to talk, mumbling session is free here.

I hope everyone is doing good! Chasing what makes you happy.

Love Bea

Land in Sight Oh gosh, it's been so long I'm afraid I don't know how to put words together.

#ADVENTURE #dancing #farm #happiness #inspiration #job #Life #Nature #paths #permaculture #wwoof

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joonsgalaxy · 7 years ago

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a timely malfunction

pairing: taehyung x reader (gender neutral)

genre/au: fluff, time travel, friends to lovers

words: 2,9k

prompt: 17 “What? No, I never said that.” requests

As your little brother would most likely say—this is hella awkward. And, quite frankly, out of all the expressions in this wide world this one fits the situation the best. The air that hangs heavily above the tiny round table holds a palpable tension between you and Taehyung. The short glances that are exchanged between you two are full of unspoken spitefulness and accusations, mostly from your side.

You'd think the insignificant conversations with Jihyo would help, but it's quite the opposite—it only annoys you even further. You shouldn't have agreed to this brunch, but you‘re only now realizing the fact and, ironically, you can't turn back time and make up some excuse not to go.

At least the weather is delightful. The sun is kissing your skin pleasantly, birds are chirping their gleeful melodies, and the scent of the light breeze is whispering about the forthcoming summer.

However, as you shift in your seat the sun is not the one to be held culpable for the rather uncomfortable warmth within you. The awareness of Taehyung's presence mere few feet away from you is what makes your blood thicken and simmer. Not in a good way.

Just a few days ago Jihyo told you something really unpleasant. Something about you that was originally uttered by Taehyung.

With your arms crossed, body sinking back into your seat, you try to ignore all of that as best you can.

You let yourself enjoy the almost stinging brightness that the sun provides to your closed eyelids as you tilt back your head.

The sound of cars whooshing past you in the street never fails to calm your nerves. The clicking of high heels and softer thuds of boots against pavement create a melodic rhythm that simultaneously reminds you of a bustling city and brings you to some place that's deeply serene and comforting. The chatter of people passing by forces your mind into other worlds, other people's lives and conversations. You nearly forget where you actually are. With whom you actually are.

Except Jihyo’s voice slams you back into your reality. Back to the protracted brunch that seems to never end.

Still, you keep your eyes closed.

‘Mm,’ she hums, mouth full of her sandwich. ‘Seriously, the best sandwich on earth.’

Perhaps you could say the same about yours, but you scarcely touched it. You don't feel particularly hungry.

Taehyung's voice is the reason you unwillingly open your eyes. He says your name.

You blink at him, squinting. ‘What?’

‘I got...’ he begins. His eyes skid toward Jihyo as if to make sure she's more into her sandwich than whatever he's about to tell you. He chooses his words carefully, ‘I received a message.’

Every syllable of the last word held a secret only you two knew.

You mull it over for a quick second. Choose to blatantly ignore him, at least for now.

‘Jihyo,’ you gleefully turn to your friend. She happily sets down her sandwich, clearly enjoying seeing your mood brighten up. If only it were real.

Taehyung, obviously, sees through your mask and heaves a sigh.

‘So,’ you decide to make small talk with Jihyo. ‘How's your wolf doing?’

Her eyes light up joyfully—you finally seem interested in conversing with her.

Out of the corner of your eye you notice Taehyung draw his attention to the smart watch on his wrist.

Jihyo’s mouth opens to tell you all about her precious pet—the majestic snowy white wolf—when suddenly... all of you feel the ominous, yet highly familiar vibration under your feet. All of your gazes jump toward the cups on the table. The liquid is rippling in tiny waves as though somebody were continuously hitting the wooden table in a steady rhythm. Thump. Thump. Thump.

‘Oh not again,’ Jihyo exclaims and jumps to her feet, strangely both terrified and annoyed. You relate, though.

‘It‘s the third time this month,‘ she tells you, hurriedly gathering her stuff, ‘And it's only the sixth of May!‘

Taehyung and you quickly glance at each other and leap to your feet as well.

Your heart's hammering faster already; the adrenaline starts to kick in.

The good thing is, the world's most awkward brunch has been interrupted and now you have other things to worry about. The not so good thing is… there are other things you have to worry about.

‘See you tomorrow!’ Jihyo‘s words come out rushed as she starts toward south. She adds over her shoulder, ‘If we stay alive that is.’

You'll probably never get used to this.

Now that you and Taehyung are left standing there rather awkwardly, he throws his thumb over one of his own shoulders, motioning toward the end of the street, where your house sits. ‘We should...‘

‘Yeah, we should,’ is your response.

You both gather your stuff just like Jihyo did—Taehyung tears his jacket from the back of the chair, you scoop your mobile phone up from the surface of the tiny table.

You consider grabbing your avocado sandwich too, but end up deciding against it.

There are piercing honks of cars, a few screeches of people mingling with them as you jog with Taehyung by your side.

You've been in this version of your lives for almost a month now, but you still haven't got used to how everything works here.

This kind of “glitch”—as your employer referred to it—has never happened to you before in your entire time travelling career of two years.

Usually, you go back in time with your partner, having a task to change something small yet significant to someone’s life, then go back to the exact second you left in the present.

The things you change don’t have a direct impact on you or Taehyung, or the team that made the time travelling possible.

Clients—that have some kind of regrets from the past haunting them—can’t be trusted with the device that lets you go back in time. There’s a risk of them going reckless, having that kind of power, whereas you go there with the sole purpose of changing what you were told to change. No less, no more. A trained professional, secretly showing clients important signs that guide them toward certain directions in their life situations.

However, this time ended up being different. After finishing your task you came back to the present like always, yet there was some kind of malfunctioning—a major one—in the process. It changed everything. And when you came back, you scarcely could recognize the world.

The sight on the street is a great example of the oddness.

An old yet excessively fancy looking carriage's wheels are slowly rolling across the asphalt as the two horses in front of it shakily trot with freaked out looks in their eyes. Behind that very carriage is inching forward the most expensive and innovative Porsche you've ever seen. The car's horn is harshly blaring for half the town to hear.

A newspaper reporter is taking pictures of people running to their shelters. There are probably a hundred headlines running through his clever mind as the rather well defined muscles in his arms strain in the process of holding the camera steadily. And the struggle is understandable since the camera seems to be from an era, where people didn't even know the word “movies”. You guess it could weigh approximately 8 pounds.

And the strangest, most petrifying thing of all is—you're running to your place to hide from dinosaurs! Forests trampling, houses crushing, humans eating, utterly terrifying, life size dinosaurs!

What could be crazier than that?

For this exact reason you are getting out of breath, the fear stomping on your lungs.

Conveniently enough everyone has their own bunkers in their backyard, where they can hide. The bunkers can hold up to twenty tonnes atop themselves, if there should be the need.

And conveniently—or not—Taehyung and you are forced to sprint toward the same bunker, because apparently you two are a couple that lives together now.

You have no idea why people have regular houses near their shelters, for they could get easily crushed by the dinosaurs; but here, in this time and place, everything seems to make sense for everybody even though you tend to have lots of unspoken questions.

Catching your breath you both stride past your neighbour’s house—an enormous mansion with thick columns that make your house look two times smaller than it already is.

You reach the shelter in your own backyard. Taehyung punches in the code and holds the door for you. Still breathing quite heavily, you mumble a tiny thanks and take the stairs down to the cosy living area.

Once the doors are closed, the air seems eerily quiet down there.

The cube is fairly deep into the ground, but as the dinosaurs get closer and closer the floor still mildly vibrates beneath your feet so you make yourself comfortable on the couch to feel safer.

Taehyung‘s footsteps thud against the floor and echo between the thick walls. He strolls to the fridge; a sound of glass clacking reaches your ears as Taehyung grabs a couple of cold beer bottles.

You fold your arms against your chest as if shielding yourself from his charms that work very well on you when you two are alone. Even if he isn't quite aware of that.

‘What‘s the occasion?’ You try your best to sound uninterested.

Taehyung sets one of the bottles for you on the table, settles himself into the other couch in front of you.

His beer hisses when he flicks the cap off with an ease.

Taehyung's hand holds the opener above the table, waits for you to snatch it, but you never do, your eyes reluctant to gaze at his direction. He heaves a sigh and switches the bottles.

‘I‘ll tell you the good news,’ he begins, the other bottle—originally yours, now his—hissing for a quick second, ‘When you tell me what's up with you.’

You take in a steadying breath. ‘I don't know what you're talking about.’

‘Oh come on. You've been avoiding me for the past three days. Always eyeing me as if I was some kind of a criminal. Much like you're doing now.’

You scoff. ‘Am not.’

Taehyung seems incredulous. ‘Uh-ha.’

He settles back into the couch, props his feet onto the table, beer in hand. The opener sits still on the table patiently. Just like your bottle of beer.

‘You‘ve been like this only around me,’ he muses. ‘So it has to be something I did.’

‘Don't flatter yourself. You're not that important.’

‘Ouch.’

The ground shakes a little stronger. The bottle opener rattles against the wooden table, making sharp quick clanking sounds. A dinosaur must be precisely atop the bunker or somewhere extremely close.

You refuse to meet Taehyung's hard gaze.

‘I could try and guess,’ he says, ‘But for some reason I think that'd be only a waste of time. Why don't you make it easier for the both of us? Stop that silence treatment and start talking like a grown up.’

A grown up?

His words uttered by your friend to you are coming back at you with full force, slapping you in the face and making your blood boil.

That's it. You snap. ‘Oh now you wanna talk to me?’ You fix your gaze upon his confused eyes. ‘Even though I'm extremely annoying, I don't wash the dishes and you're thinking of breaking up with me? You said it yourself,’ you add, when his face shows utter perplexity.

The second all that burst out of you is the exact moment you feel regret wash over you.

Mortification strikes you.

Why the hell did you tell him all of this?

Damn it.

‘What?’ Taehyung gives you a look of sheer bewilderment. ‘No.’

His feet jump down to the floor; his body leans closer to the table. ‘I never said that.’

You’re not able to hold his gaze, when a moment later he breathes out an oh upon realization.

Embarrassment rushes instantaneously toward your every cell, coating your bones and seeping into them.

It’s suddenly a little hot. You start craving that cold beer on the table.

‘It wasn’t me.’

You’re aware of that. You know that you’re being irrational and silly, punishing Taehyung and yourself for something you both didn’t exactly had influence on.

‘Well, technically it was me,’ he corrects himself. His voice is deep, his tone soft, careful. ‘But this version of me grew up differently. Nothing here makes sense, can’t you see?’

‘I know. This is stupid. I’m stupid.’

Taehyung sets his bottle down, clasps his hands atop the table. ‘You’re not stupid. Can I ask you why did this affect you that much?’

You suck in a breath to calm yourself, feel it sooth your jittery nerves, then release it.

Honesty seems the best policy, because hiding stuff from Taehyung has never had a great outcome before.

‘Maybe because I believed those words? That you genuinely think that way about me.’

‘That you don’t do the dishes?’ A ghost of a smile tugs at Taehyung’s lips; his eyes are warm and friendly.

You pout slightly, clarifying, ‘That I’m annoying, and that you—

You don’t really intend to finish the sentence, because it’s simply ridiculous.

You wish you have acted normal these past few days instead of trying to ignore him. You wish you didn’t have to face his questions right now.

Taehyung delicately scoffs in what appears to be disbelief, ‘Annoying…’ The look in his eyes shifts to a colder one, as if judging his own self. ‘That’s not a solid enough reason to— I’m such an idiot in this reality.’

His acknowledgment has a comforting effect on you. Maybe only the other version of him would break up with you; perhaps the Taehyung you know would never treat you like—

Why are you even thinking about this? You’re not actually a couple, and you never will be.

Once you come back to the original reality you two will resume your not-so-close relationship that could easily be approved by any committee of work ethics.

You feel the need to explain yourself to him as to why this all affected you. ‘You know, I was wondering. If being a couple didn’t work out for us, then maybe we’re not that good at being co-workers too.’

‘Don’t be silly, we have a great dynamic.’ Taehyung narrows his eyes a little, tilts his head to the side. ‘Is that the real reason you were upset?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Is it really just because of work?’ He clarifies, with a smirk plastering his face.

It’s getting hotter again. ‘Why wouldn’t it be?’

‘Because you’re into me.’ His eyes glimmer in amusement and confidence, lips stretching into a smile that says “gotcha!”.

Your mouth goes dry. Would it look suspicious to snatch that bottle up and take a long chug of your beer right now? ‘Pfft. Yeah. Right. Haha.’

‘No. Really.’ Taehyung interrupts your nervous glancing around the room. ‘I need to know.’ His face grows more serious, eyes emanating… hopefulness? Just a teeny tiny bit of hopefulness that compels you to remember the phrase again. Honesty is the best policy.

‘Okay,’ you tentatively murmur. ‘You got me.’

Taehyung softly gasps. ‘Oh shit, really?’

You can’t quite decipher his expression. Is it a good oh shit, really? or a bad one?

You start to regret confessing, shifting in your seat awkwardly.

He picks up on that and hurriedly makes an attempt to reassure you, ‘This is actually awesome.’

Your puzzled eyes lock with his. Awesome?

Taehyung slumps into the couch, head tilting heavenward. His fingers absently dance atop his thighs as a relieved sigh escapes his lungs. ‘To be honest, this was a timely glitch, because I’ve been wondering about us a lot. And the moment I realized we’ll be spending more time together I was like yes! I can finally find out if you like me back.’

‘Back?’

He nods, meeting your surprised gaze. ‘I can’t believe you didn’t realize I had a crush on you.’

How were you supposed to realize? Was he trying to show you his feelings? Has he been giving you hints without you noticing them? You can’t believe you’ve been that oblivious to Taehyung’s attraction toward you.

A familiar high pitched beep announces the receiving of a message to Taehyung’s watch.

‘Oh, right.’ He glances at it, glides a fingertip across its tiny screen. ‘The good news,’ he says with a smile. ‘They’ve figured a way to go back to our original present.’

You’re lucky that your employer had decided to become a scientist in this version too. Otherwise, who knows, maybe you’d have been doomed to stay here with those dinosaurs, nearly flying cars, old cameras, and only one house for you and Taehyung to live in, which hmm… maybe wouldn’t even have been that bad?

‘He transferred the fixed updates into the watch.’ Taehyung’s hand reaches out over the table.

The first rule of time travel: you must be touching the person possessing the watch, if you want to travel with them.

You take his hand without a second thought.

Taehyung’s finger hovers above the watch as his grin evokes the flutter of your heart. His tone is dripping with content when he speaks. ‘Once we’re back, we’ll talk about us more.’

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masterlist

#armiesnet #kwriterskollection #kim taehyung #taehyung fluff #bts fanfiction #bangtan fic #taehyung x reader #taehyung x you #taehyung drabble #bts requests #taehyung scenarios #bts time travel au #bts friends to lovers au

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waitingfortherightpartner · 7 years ago

Text

Secret Santa

A/N: AGH so obviously haven’t been writing cuz I’ve been hella busy and then I freaked out because it’s almost Christmas and this is literally my favorite holiday, so I wrote a ton on the plane...Based this on a prompt from this list. Hopefully will manage to write a few more before the day rolls around.

Tagging: @pleasecallmecaptain @mattymattymerduck @writingbarnes @kissofvenom922 @b-orderline @shamvictoria11 @callingmrsbarnes @barnes-and-noble-girl @coley0823 @redstarstan @badassbaker @phoebe-21-blog @marvelgoateecollection @palaiasaurus64 @melconnor2007

“So who’d you get for Secret Santa?”

“No one,” Bucky replies, gripping the book in his hands a little tighter as he shifts his body away.

“Is it me?” Sam asks, sitting down right next to Bucky, ignoring the super soldier’s obvious annoyance.

“No,” Bucky says.

“Steve?”

“Go away, Wilson.”

“Oh. Is it…” Sam lets his voice trail off suggestively and Bucky tries to ignore the panic.

“Is it who?” he says, trying to keep his voice nonchalant.

“For someone who used to be a spy, you suck at lying,” Sam chuckles.

“Wasn’t a spy,” Bucky retorts. “Just an assassin. I killed people. No lying required.”

“I think that’s supposed to be a threat,” Sam grins. “So what are you going to get her?”

“Who?” Bucky asks, although he can feel the heat creeping up the back of his neck.

“A pillow with your face on it that says ‘I Love You?’” Sam teases. “A hundred red roses?”

“All terrible ideas,” Bucky grumbles. “I already ordered it.” Sam’s eyes widen with delight.

“Ordered it?” Sam asks. “And what is it, exactly?”

“You can find out when she finds out,” Bucky retorts.

“Are you guys discussing Secret Santa?” you grin as you stroll into the living room. Bucky’s lips twist up into a smile, but he keeps his gaze on the words in his book. “Who’d you get, Sam?”

“Robocop over here,” he answers and you bite back a laugh.

“Perfect,” Bucky says, rolling his eyes.

“Sam, you weren’t supposed to tell anyone who you got,” you scold lightly, sitting next to Bucky on the couch. You tap his arms lightly and he lifts them up so you can slide your legs across his lap. “Specifically not the person who you got. Watch. Bucky, who did you get for Secret Santa?”

“What’s Secret Santa?” he deadpans.

“See?” you say, gesturing exaggeratedly to Bucky. “Perfect.” Sam raises an eyebrow and you narrow your eyes, giving him a death glare.

“Sorry I can’t compare to McDreamy McPerfectpants,” Sam teases and you roll your eyes.

“I mean, your words, not mine,” you say. “Now get out of here, we’re gonna watch Game of Thrones and you’re not caught up to us.”

“Don’t you dare spoil anything for me,” Sam says. “I swear, if something happens to my girl Dany…”

“If you keep annoying me…” you trail off threateningly and Sam bolts out of the room.

“Wow, if I had known it was that easy to get rid of Sam, I would’ve done that ages ago,” Bucky says and you grin.

“People like to be surprised,” you shrug. “You ready, McDreamy McPerfectpants?”

“All right, everyone,” Tony says. “Secret Santa gifts under the tree.”

“Oh shit, was that today?” Clint says. Nat punches Clint in the arm.

“Yes, Clint,” you reply drily. “The Secret Santa exchange was today, during our Christmas party. Obviously.”

“Right,” Clint asks. “How much were we supposed to spend?”

“Up to $50,” Steve replies and Clint grumbles something to himself about being broke. He dashes out of the room, returning with a small envelope that he sheepishly shoves among the others.

“Perfect,” Tony says, throwing a Santa hat on his hat and sifting through the pile. “This one’s for you, Steve.” Slowly but surely, Tony redistributes all of the presents to their rightful owners.

“So how does this work?” Thor asks.

“Easy,” Tony says. “Everyone opens it and then you have three guesses to try to figure out who gave it.”

“Interesting,” Thor says. “Your Midgardian traditions are endlessly fascinating.”

“Noted,” Tony replies. “All at the same time, on three. One, two…”

Thor rips the paper off of a huge, human-sized teddy bear in one swift motion. Tony looks at him witheringly and the Asgardian obliges with an apologetic look.

“Let’s rock and roll, people,” Tony sighs and the room comes alive with the sounds of wrapping paper ripping, the shuffling of tissue paper, and a combination of gasps and chuckles in reactions to the gifts.

Steve pours over the art set you got him, examining the pencils and ink pens with a quiet joy that makes you smile. You glance over to Bucky, who dumps out a box of $50 worth of magnets, as Sam dissolves into giggles on the ground.

“What did you get, (Y/N)?” Wanda asks from beside you.

“Oh, whoops,” you laugh, reaching for the oddly heavy box in front of you. “I wanted to see what everyone else got first.” When you go to open your gift, the room falls silent and you realize all of the Avengers are watching you. You carefully slip your finger under the tape, sliding it across to release the paper.

“Are you saving the paper?” Tony asks impatiently. You roll your eyes at him and rip through a piece of the paper.

“You happy?” you retort. “So impatie…”

You words trail off as you see the writing on the box and your eyes widen.

“It’s not,” you murmur to yourself, and suddenly you can’t unwrap it soon enough. You open the box and pull out a brand new camera, the expensive one you’d been looking at for months online. A collective murmur goes through the room.

“Well, someone clearly didn’t listen to that $50 limit,” Clint says. You scan the room, trying to figure out who would buy you a multi-thousand dollar camera, but your mind draws a blank.

“Okay, the guessing,” Tony says. “(Y/N), since you were the last to unwrap your present, why don’t you go first?”

“I have no idea,” you say.

“Funny, I don’t think there’s anyone named that here today,” Tony says and you groan.

“Fine,” you say. “Is it you?”

“Me?” Tony asks. “Love you, darling, but I play by the rules. At least for Secret Santa.”

“Shocker,” you tease. “Um…Thor?”

“I did not purchase this item for you,” the god booms and you nod.

“I just though maybe you didn’t understand dollars,” you explain.

“I understand that this is many dollars,” Thor says and you nod.

“Well, you’re not wrong,” you say. “Um…last guess. Okay. Steve?”

“Not me,” Steve says and you nod, retreating back into your thoughts as the guessing continues. Although some people are able to get their gift-giver right, there’s several unaccounted for, leaving you to wonder. As people start to trickle out, you head to the one person who knows exactly who got everyone what.

“Nat,” you say quietly, sitting down next to her on the couch. “Who was it?”

“Sweetie, it’s so obvious,” Nat replies, shooting you a withering look. “Don’t even have to be a Russian spy to figure it out.”

“But seeing as you are one, help me out on this one,” you ask and Nat sighs. “At least let me talk through it out loud?”

“If you must,” Nat says and you start.

“Okay, so it’s someone who went above the price limit,” you say. “Like, way above the price limit. So they have plenty of disposable money.”

“No, no, you’re reading it wrong,” Nat says. “It’s not that they necessarily have cash to throw away. It’s that they care so much about you that they’d want to get you something they know you’ve wanted for months, even if it’s crazy expensive and definitely not right for a Secret Santa gift.”

“Is it you?” you ask and Nat snorts.

“I love you, (Y/N), but I don’t love you that much,” Nat replies. “Think.”

“I am thinking,” you whine. “Can’t you just tell me?”

“It’s Barnes,” Clint blurts out from the other side of Nat. You both whirl on him, you in shock and Nat in anger. “What? She was taking too long.”

“Bucky?” you ask in disbelief. “Bucky got me the camera?”

“Obviously,” Nat says. “Clint, we’re gonna have a talk later about you butting into my conversations.”

“Why would he do that?” you stammer. “That’s…it’s…I should go talk to Bucky.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what you’re still doing here,” Nat says, and you hurry out of the room and to Bucky’s room, knocking before you even come up with a plan.

Bucky opens the door and his eyes immediately soften when he sees you.

“Hey friend I was going to take a walk outside to test out my new camera,” you say. “Do you want to come with?”

“I’d love to,” he says, immediately stepping out of the room. You look at him and laugh.

“What, no jacket?” you grin. “No shoes? It’s kind of snowing.”

“Right,” Bucky says. “Meet you outside?”

You’re standing outside, looking around and smiling like a dork. You keep bringing the camera up to your eye, but you refuse to snap a picture. You’re waiting.

“Got anything good yet?” you turn around to see Bucky walking towards you, The lighting is perfect and you raise your camera quickly to capture the image.

“Now I have,” you grin, glancing at the screen. You turn it around to show Bucky and his smile widens, the creases next to his eyes becoming even more pronounced.

“What else have you taken?” he asks.

“That’s it,” you say. “I thought that the first picture I took should be of the person who got me the camera.” Bucky’s eyes widen.

“Oh,” Bucky says. “You found out.”

“I did,” you respond. “Bucky, this is an incredible gift, but you shouldn’t-”

“Of course I should have,” he responds. “You’re basically the glue of the Avengers, honestly, you love planning things for us to do and taking photos on your phone and you call yourself the mom friend, whatever that means, so I figured…I mean, you’ve been eyeing it for months.”

“And saving up,” you say. “It’s a lot of money.” He shrugs, eyes glued to the ground. You shake your head and grab his scarf, pulling his face down so that you can plant a quick kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.”

Bucky smiles and lightning quick, you grab your camera and snap a few more pictures.

“What are you doing?” Bucky laughs. “Take a picture of something nice.”

“I am, McDreamy McPerfectpants,” you tease, looking through the photos yourself. As you look at them, you feel your heart leap into your throat as you recognize something in Bucky’s eyes as he looks into the camera. As he looks at you. Bucky comes up behind you and you can feel his breath on the back of your neck.

“What’re you looking at?” he asks quietly, and you turn so that you’re facing him, your faces inches apart.

“Can I kiss you?” you ask softly. Bucky’s eyes widen and for a split-second, you panic and think you’ve read everything wrong, but then he nods gently, almost imperceptibly.

You lean forwards and catch Bucky’s lips with your own, his lips impossibly warm against your own. You can feel his lips turn up into a smile and you can’t help but smile yourself.

“As much as I would love to keep doing this,” you whisper against his lips. “I do want to take some more photos.”

“Anything you want,” he replies, threading his fingers through your own. “As long as I’m with you.”

#christmas fic #bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes fic #marvel #marvel fanfiction #marvel imagine #marvel fic

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therainroguefanfiction · 4 years ago

Text

⚜️ Change the Face of History (Skyrim); #1 Prologue

📑 Table of Contents & Information

☁ Genre: Slice of Life, Magic, AU

☁ Pairing: First Person OC x ??

☁ World: Game, Skyrim

I stifled a yawn with my hand as I made my way home, regretting the decision to leave the house in the first place, but the fridge was pretty empty and I kind of need food to survive. Plus, soda. Need I say more? I made it about halfway when the sky, which had been steadily darkening, opened up, allowing rain to pour down on the city. I cursed, ducking into the closest shop to me. It’s not that I hate the rain or don’t like getting wet – in fact, rain is one of my favorite things in life. My mood always increases when it rains, but putting away soggy groceries is not fun, a lesson I learned a couple months back.

Thankfully, though, I had reacted quick enough and made it into the shop with my clothes only slightly damp.

I set the plastic bags on the floor near the door, making sure that they weren’t in the way, before turning to inspect the store I had entered. Wooden shelves lined the floor in aisles, standing about four feet, five inches in height. The items on display looked quite old, but not in the sense that they were grungy or used. Each item was in incredible shape, but they didn’t look as if they belonged in this time period.

‘This must be some kind of antique store,’ I concluded, carefully navigating through the displays. I did not want to accidentally break anything – I’m sure this stuff is hella expensive.

As I made my way to the back of the room, a table stood out to the right. It was lined with red velvet and featured a locked glass lid. Inside were various types of jewelry and even a feathered pen with an inkwell. I scanned the items with wonder before my eyes stopped on a ring in the center of the table. I’m not sure why, but… I just couldn’t pull my attention away from it, no matter how hard I tried. It was as if the thing was calling out to me, trying to get my attention. I carefully rested my hand on the glass, just above the item.

“You have good taste, miss.”

I nearly jumped out of my skin, whipping around with a hand over my racing heart. Standing a couple feet away was an elder man, barely at the same height as the shelves, with thinning snow-white hair and a face full of wrinkles. His hands were clasped behind his back as he smiled kindly at me.

“Sorry, dear, I didn’t mean to startle you.” The amusement was clear in his dark brown eyes.

“It’s okay,” I breathed out, willing my heart to calm down as I turned back to the case. “How much is it for that ring there?” I pointed it out, despite believing that he already knew which piece I was referring to.

He hummed, thoughtfully as he dug into his pocket, pulling out a ring of five different keys. His hands shook slightly as he inserted the key and twisted to unlock the case, carefully lifting the lid. His slim fingers picked up the ring, holding it out in the palm of his hand. “It costs fifty dollars,”

I nearly winced at the information. This ring is absolutely beautiful and I honestly feel like I need to have it in my life, but… I just can’t justify spending so much money on a piece of jewelry. I feel like this is one of those lose-lose situations – if I buy it, I’ll spend the next week cursing myself for wasting fifty bucks, but if I don’t buy it, I’ll spend the same amount of time cursing myself for not buying it.

“There is a legend attached to this ring,” he stated, his eyes twinkling. “It is said to harbor unparalleled magic power within, which had lain dormant for many centuries now. The legend states that only those of pure intent may harness its power. The ring chooses its owner.”

I scoffed at his words because there ain’t nothin’ pure about my ass. He raised a brow and I realized my mistake and cursed. “Ah, no, I didn’t mean to -“

“It’s quite alright,” he chuckled, “There are very few who believe in such things. Here,” Before I could protest, he took my wrist and gently transferred the ring to the palm of my hand.

The metal was… weird. One moment it felt unbelievably cold like a block of ice, but the next it was hot like a roaring flame. Goosebumps rose across my body as I brought it closer to my face to further inspect the detail. The metal itself was an onyx black with a thin, silver trim. A deep gray dragon was engraved in a repeating pattern across the circumference of the ring. As I turned it over, admiring the way the soft light glinted off it, I realized that I had never felt such a want, a need, quite like I do in this moment.

The man’s smile grew, the corners of his eyes crinkling with crows feet. “For you, though, I will let this ring go for twenty-five dollars.”

My eyes widened in surprise, jumping to meet his own. “Are you sure? That’s one hell of a discount…”

He nodded, holding his hand out. I gently set the ring on his palm and he said, “I’m positive, dear, now come. Let us get you rung up before the rain starts up again.”

I glanced to the front of the room, which consisted of a line of windows. Sure enough, the rain had stopped, the sun shining brightly on the land. I knew it wouldn’t last long, though, because Florida weather is far too bi-polar to stick to just one weather pattern. Rather than debate his kindness and give him a chance to renege on his offer, I followed him to the counter, digging into my pocket for two tens and a five.

After carefully placing the money into the cash register, he pulled out an ornately carved wooden box. Inside was a piece of soft, black foam with a slit in the middle, which he slid the ring into. He then wrapped the box in some blue tissue paper before placing it in a small, thick plastic bag. “Here you are, my dear. May magic always light up your life and guide your path.”

“Thank you very much, sir. Have a good day.” I offered him a thankful smile before carefully picking up the bag and returning to the front of the store, where I retrieved my groceries. I pulled open the door and glanced up at the sky before exiting the store.

The clouds above were a medium gray, spread out enough to allow the sun to shine down in strips of light. Off in the distance, the sky was nearly black and the clouds were quickly moving in my direction. Thankfully, the storm was rolling in from behind me, so I should be able to keep ahead of it.

I picked up my pace, boots slapping the wet pavement as I tightly clutched the bags in my hands. Honestly, I just wanted to hurry up and get home so I could put the ring on. I really don’t understand why I’m feeling so excited about this. I mean, sure, I appreciate a nice wring, a cool leather bracelet, a long chain necklace, but I’ve never felt this happy about a piece of jewelry before. Maybe because it has a dragon on it? I do love dragons, but I’ve gotten dragon-themed merchandise plenty of times in the past.

I feel like a little kid at Christmas.

When I finally reached the third floor of my apartment complex, I had to set the bags down in order to get the door unlocked and open. As badly as I wanted to just leave the groceries on the counter to be put away later, I knew that there were several items that needed to be put in the refrigerator, and a couple that needed to be kept frozen. Shaking my head, I put away the cold items as quickly as I could before moving to the adjoining living room and sinking down onto the old, brown couch. It had seen better days, and it squeaked quite loudly as if protesting my weight.

I carefully pulled out the box, letting my fingers trace the carving of a large tree – possibly an oak or cherry -, before lifting the lid. Just as before, the metal was ice cold when I first picked it up but quickly grew hot. Maybe the metal reacts to skin or sweat?

‘It is said to harbor unparalleled magic power within,’ The man’s words echoed in my mind. For a moment, I considered the possibility before shaking my head. Nah, that’s far too ridiculous.

As my thumb rubbed over the carving of the dragons, I couldn’t help but think about how cool it would be to see a dragon in real life. If only they were real… though, if they did exist, I doubt they’d be willing to co-exist with human beings.

I slid the ring on the middle finger of my right hand and smiled before glancing at the clock. It was getting late and I’m starting to feel like I’m starving. The rest of my night passed by without incident. I watched some anime, heated up leftover pizza from three nights ago which I do not recommend doing, watched some more anime, questioned my life choices while sitting in the bathroom, and then I finally retired to bed just after midnight.

As I curled up under the comforter, I inspected the ring until sleep finally claimed me.

──────── ∘° Third 🐲 Person°∘ ────────

The hour hand slowly ticked over, striking three in the morning. Rae Winchester turned over in her sleep, right hand slipping out from under the comforter and hanging over the side of the bed. A small stream of light from the full moon outside shined in through the crack in the curtains, falling directly onto the ring. It started to radiate with an ethereal, white light that slowly started to crawl up her arm. It wasn’t long before her entire body was bathed in this light, filling your body with a strange sensation of warmth.

It penetrated her dreams, morphing them from a zany adventure with her favorite anime characters to a void of navy blue as far as the eye could see. She found herself hovering in this void, hearing a faint chanting somewhere in the distance.

The light around her began to pulse in tune with her heartbeat. A cloud rolled across the moon, cutting off the stream of light and she stirred, tossing and turning. The light grew to a degree so bright, it was impossible to see before it exploded outward without a sound. It slowly faded, plunging the room into pure darkness.

The wheels of fate shifted direction that day as a new path was written out before her. Little did you know, the purchase of that ring was about to change her life forever, forcing her onto a path she has no say in.

I tell you, I tell you, the Dragonborn comes.

⤞ Forward

📜 Read more by checking out my masterlist 📜

#change the face of history #series #slice of life #magic #au #alternate universe #fanfiction #fanfic #fanfics #scenario #scenarios #writing #creative writing #writeblr #skyrim #the elder scrolls #the elder scrolls v #the elder scrolls v skyrim

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machihunnicutt · 7 years ago

Text

Not Selfish

Chapter 2

(Or read on ao3.)

Evan read the Wikipedia page three times in his bed that night. He knew he needed to fall asleep but he couldn't. When Connor had talked about his polyamorous friend he hadn't made it sound weird or bad and neither did the Internet (for the most part at least.) And the more he thought about that the more he thought about kissing Jared and Connor and the more he thought about kissing them the hotter his face felt and harder it was to close his eyes. He got up to get some water, tiptoeing across the wood floor.

To his surprise the light in the kitchen was still on.

"Jared? What are you doing up it's almost 3 am."

Jared turned to look at him. His face was open in a way it wasn't usually and it took him a moment to clear the emotion from his features. "Hey Ev," he said sharply. "I'm uh...I'm making ramen and a microwave mug cake."

"Oh." Shitty microwave food at three in the morning meant Jared was upset. "Can I join you?" Evan took a seat at the kitchen table.

"Sure," Jared said, wiping his nose discreetly on the back of his hand. "Do you want some ramen and/or cake?"

"I could go for some cake." Jared flicked on the radio to the oldies station and the gentle hum of some 50s slow song filtered in. He put the mug between them and started in on his ramen.

"Are you okay? You're eating your sad food."

Jared blushed and spooned some more of the ramen into his mouth. "It's nothing. I just can't sleep."

"Me too," he muttered. "Hey um..." oh God why was he so nervous. "C-Connor mentioned his um...his p-polyamorous friend today. I d-didn't know that was a thing."

Jared raised an eyebrow but remained silent so he continued. "W-what do you uh what do you think about that?"

Jared cocked his head to one side in confusion. "What do I think about polyamory?"

"I'm s-sorry that's a dumb question I shouldn't have..."

"I think that it it makes you happy go for it. You being a general you not you specifically...not that I'm excluding you. You can do whatever you want."

Evan bit his lip. "Do you think you'd ever be into it?"

"Me?" Jared's eyes widened and Evan wanted to crawl under a rock. "Oh, c'mon Evan there's no way one guy would be interested in me, let alone two."

"That's not true."

"Evan you don't have to lie to me just because I look and feel like shit."

"So there is something wrong?"

Jared winced.

"And I'm not lying. And you don't look like shit. You n-never look like shit."

Jared looked down at his ramen again and stuffed another spoonful in his mouth. Evan tried a bite of the mug cake and tried to keep his heart from beating out of his chest. It was a stupid, reckless thing to ask but he was glad he'd asked it.

"Do you wanna talk about what's bothering you?"

Jared shook his head. "I'm sorry Ev I'm just being a baby." He ran a hand through his hair and Evan frowned.

"You know you can talk to me about anything right?"

"I know. Thanks Ev." Jared still looked sad. He hated that he was sad. The radio continued its melancholy sputtering of old love songs.

"Do you want to dance?"

"Dance?" Jared nearly choked on his ramen.

"W-we don't have to I j-just thought.."

"Fuck yeah Evan," he said quietly, almost a whisper, that didn't fit with the words.

Jared's hand was gentle on his waist. They swayed close together. Evan was nervous that his hand was sweaty but Jared hadn't said anything about it so they just kept swaying.

"Thanks Evan," Jared muttered, and he could feel his breath on his neck.

When the song ended and they broke apart Evan didn't step back right away. His eyes fell to Jared's lips like some lovestruck idiot.

"I should probably go to bed," he said softly.

"Right, me too."

"Goodnight Ev."

"Goodnight Jared." *** "I need you to put that down and then tell me what exactly you think you're doing."

Connor put down the bottle of glitter nail polish he'd stolen from Zoe's room and sighed exaggeratedly. "I painted them black like I usually do but something seemed wrong so I took the black off and tried green but then I forgot it wasn't dry and tried eating chips and messed them up. So I went for it a third time but I was kind of tired and distracted so now I have this." He held up his mangled nails: glitter on some, a mishmash of uncoordinated colors and smudges.

"I love you bro, but you only go nail crazy when there's something wrong. You took your meds this morning right?" Zoe asked, taking a seat across from him and reaching out to wipe the wet polish from his nails. "And don't take my glitter again this shit is expensive."

"Yeah I took my meds. And I'm fine. I just..." he trailed off. Zoe's worry sometimes made him feel guilty. Connor was used to feeling guilty (it was one of his few emotions that included anger, worthlessness, and pining.)

"It's just that I saw Hansen for the first time in a while yesterday."

She finished his nails and selected a deep indigo to redo them. "And that's bad because...?"

"It's not bad it's just that every time I've tried to get together with him before he has always had a date. Evan has a new date every week now."

"Our Evan?" She said, taken aback.

"Yeah...yesterday I remembered how much I missed him."

"And I assume you're also hella jealous?"

He scowled at her. "You could say that yeah but don't tell anyone."

She nodded sympathetically. "All these dates and he hasn't asked you out yet?"

Connor shrugged, eyes on the silver glitter she was now applying. His nails looked like tiny galaxies with glittering stars. "Maybe he just doesn't like me."

"Bullshit."

"He'll probably just ask Kleinman," he muttered.

She frowned. "Do you think Evan likes Jared?"

"It's more likely than him liking me." And Kleinman's not broken like I am, he didn't add. "In any case he's not dating either of us."

Zoe crossed her legs and pulled her hair into a ponytail at the top of her head. He thought she looked more authoritarian with her hair pulled out of her face. Maybe he did too. "You know I hit on a bunch of people before Alana and I started going out. I just wanted to make her jealous."

"I don't think he's doing that."

She sighed. "Look, obviously I don't know the whole situation but I do know you. And you always sell yourself short." He looked up at her. "It's not ridiculous for him to like you. You're very likable Con."

"Thanks," he muttered.

"You're very welcome. Do you want me to do your toes?"

From then on Connor spent more time at Evan and Jared's place, regardless of Evan's dates. When Evan wasn't around he just hung out with Jared. Which wasn't the worst thing in the world he soon realized. He'd actually started texting him more often too. And sometimes they got together for real, and not just to complain about being stuck without Evan.

"So when did you realize you had feelings for him?"

"Why so you can establish your right to call dibs?"

"Connor Murphy, he is a human being I can't call dibs on a human being I'm ashamed of you. Regardless I think we need to establish a timeline."

Connor laughed at the mock seriousness of Jared's expression. They were sitting at opposite sides of the couch, feet tangled together in the center cushion. Connor was doodling while Jared played some video game he hadn't caught the name of. After awhile he had paused it.

"Um...it was senior year. It's kind of stupid to say out loud because it was just this uh...this dumb little moment in high school. He knew I was having a bad day and he was giving me a ride so we could hang out at his place and he just pulled into the drive through at McDonalds and got me fries and ice cream and uh...I'd never really had someone who knew when I felt like shit and went out of their way to make me feel better. And when he handed me my fries and told me he was proud of me for getting through the day I just knew that I liked him."

Jared nodded slowly and Connor felt their feet tangle further, Connor barefoot with his toenails painted and Jared in his thick striped socks.

"How about you?" He asked when Jared didn't say anything.

Jared grinned. "Sophomore year. He climbed the tree in my back yard and when he got to the top he just laughed his head off like an idiot. I was on the ground still and I just remember looking up at him and thinking that I could look at him forever."

"Damn that's really gay."

Jared cackled. "Like you're one to talk." *** Okay so he'd be lying if he said he still didn't like Connor Murphy. He was growing on him: the way he took his coffee black next to Evan's mess of sugar and creamer, his eyes that looked intense even when he was tired or stoned, his soft stories about Evan and drive through fries and about the way loneliness ate at him sometimes. Only Connor didn't say the last thing lightly. Conversations about feelings happened when Evan was on a date and they both felt bitter and cracked open at their chests and knees and ankles. Connor would talk about the scars on his wrists and the lies his brain told him. Jared wasn't so forthcoming. He guessed, when he thought about it, he was used to bottling things up.

"I mean I don't tell my parents much. When I need to say something I know they don't want to hear I just lie."

"I guess I like pissing off my parents," he said. He was cooking a strange mess of eggs in one of Jared's frying pans. Connor Murphy tended to help himself in their kitchen. Although this time he was making food for the both of them. "That dude Evan's out with looks like he belongs in a fucking Wes Anderson movie."

"Yeah and you look like a Twilight extra but I don't say anything about it."

"You're so funny Kleinman," he replied in monotone. "Here, have some eggs a la Murphy." He put the mess of broken yolks and pepper speckled egg bits in front of him before dousing the mess in hot sauce.

"Thank you? I hope you're not trying to poison me Murphy."

Connor rolled his eyes and leaned his elbows on the counter. It was kind of late for eggs. It was nearly 10 and Evan wasn't back from his date yet. "I used to cook random food when I got really depressed. It was all shit and I usually burned something but it kept me from..." he trailed off, fingering the scars on his wrists. "I don't anymore because food's not cheap and my roommates would probably kill me if I set off the fire alarm."

"What do you do instead?" Jared asked, prodding at the eggs with his fork.

"I sound proofed my room so sometimes I just go in there and scream my head off. Or I talk to Evan. Or I bother you."

Jared looked up at him, meeting Connor's self-conscious gaze. "I kind of don't hate you Kleinman."

"Thanks. I don't hate you either." This felt like something. He didn't know what that something was but it seemed important. "And you aren't bothering me," he blurted before the moment was gone. "I don't make friends very easily and it's nice to have...God, I sound like Ev. I'm not trying to make a big deal out of it or anything. It's just nice not to be alone."

"Yeah," he said. "You don't have to eat the eggs just because we're bonding or whatever."

"Oh thank God." *** The more he saw them hang out together the more he thought he should stop being a coward and just ask. Ideally it would be a light, no pressure kind of inquiry, but every time he pictured himself doing it went more like "HI JARED HI CONNOR I LIKE BOTH OF YOU CAN WE ALL GO OUT TOGETHER?" Shouted incomprehensibly in the kitchen or living room or God forbid out in public.

He was having trouble sleeping again. When he wasn't worried about his sexuality he was worried about school. Finals were fast approaching and several of his professors had opted for group projects instead of exams. His groups tended to push all of the work on to him when they realized he was a good student and too quiet to protest. Evan was better at talking to people now but he was still nervous about confrontation. He was getting kind of weighted down and stuck between a rock and a hard place because he didn't want to upset his group members and he also didn't want to have a breakdown. He was walking home from the library and thinking about how much work he had to do and how lonely and weak he felt. It was getting cold. It might even snow tomorrow and his feet were freezing in his worn out boots. Maybe if he started crying his tears would freeze on his face.

"Jared?" When he opened the door he was wrapped up in warmth and the scent of tomato sauce and he could hear crackling from the kitchen. "I'm home. What are you doing...oh."

Jared and Connor were grinning and laughing at each other, both had aprons on and Connor had flour in his hair. "Hansen! You're home," Connor exclaimed when he noticed Evan standing there.

"You're here," Evan replied.

"Evan we're making homemade pasta," Jared explained as Evan stood numbly in the doorway. "We thought you could use a nice dinner but this idiot didn't bring a pasta maker and so it looks kinda fucked up but I think it'll cook alright."

"Are you okay?" Connor asked when Evan remained speechless. His happy expression from a moment earlier faded a bit and Evan felt guilty. He ruined everything didn't he? He was just a big, broken third wheel.

"I'm fine," he said, but his voice cracked pitifully.

"Oh Ev, what's wrong?" Jared put down the spatula he was holding and then Evan started sobbing. He'd tried to hold it in all day but now, seeing two of his favorite people doing something nice for him on a day that wanted to kick him when he was down, was more than he could handle.

Then Jared's arms were around him and he was shaking like a leaf and stuttering out apologies like he was in high school. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry this is so nice I ruin everything and I'm awful so..."

"You're not awful," Connor said. Jared pulled back and rubbed Evan's shoulders while he tried to calm his breathing."What happened Hansen?"

"Nothing," he choked. He suddenly felt hot and panicky. "It's nothing you guys I'm just a l-little overwhelmed s-sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Connor said.

"Hey," Jared said. He cupped Evan's face in his hands. "You know you can tell me anything too."

"I-I um..." he trailed off, blushing furiously, eyes still blurry from the tears. Connor cleared his throat and Jared quickly took his hands off Evan's face.

"Let's have pasta," Jared said and then backed up (into Connor accidentally which was awkward for a second and involved Connor's hands fumbling on Jared's arms.)

The rest of the night was better than breaking down in his kitchen. The pasta noodles were misshapen but surprisingly excellent. After they ate Jared put on The Office and the three of them curled up on the couch with Evan in the middle. Jared had the dorkiest laugh and Connor leaned his head on his shoulder in a way that grounded him. He liked them so much.

"Call me if you want to talk," Connor said when he walked him out. "I'm always here."

"What did I do to deserve you?"

Connor laughed. "I'm a mess and we both know it."

"I think you're great."

"You know you don't ruin anything right?"

Evan shrugged. It was cold and he hadn't bothered to put his coat back on. Connor was wearing the scarf he'd knitted him and his face was pink from the cold.

"You don't Hansen. You're my best friend."

"You're my best friend too."

Connor smiled. "See you Hansen. Tell Kleinman I said bye."

"Yeah...okay."

Evan went back inside and helped Jared clean up the dishes. "You guys seem c-close now."

"Yeah," he replied. "Murphy's not a total asshole."

"I liked the pasta."

"Well don't get used to it nerd." He wiped his hands on a dish towel. "Goodnight Ev."

"Night." He'd wanted to say more. He'd wanted to ask him, in a jealous and insecure way, if he liked Connor more than he was letting on.

Who was he kidding? Including him would be too much work. If they liked each other he'd be happy for them. He repeated this in his head so he wouldn't forget it.

Happy for them. Happy for them. Happy for them.

He didn't have time to worry about this. He had class and projects and strangers to date so his head didn't explode. If there was one thing Evan Hansen was good at it was evasion. *** Jared liked it when it snowed. He liked the way it blanketed the trees and turned to slush by the roadside. He liked walking in it with a cup of coffee in hand. Everything seemed stiller on nights when it snowed. It was like the night was holding its breath. Everything felt fresh and expectant and important.

He didn't expect to see Connor Murphy on his porch swing when he got home. It was late. He'd been doing some studying of his own away from the distractions of the house (which often included Connor Murphy.)

"What are you doing here? You must be fucking freezing."

Connor looked up from his hunched position. He had snow in his hair and eyelashes. He'd been crying or smoking it was hard to tell. "I was going to surprise him. But uh...after an hour I texted him to try to figure out where he was and..."

"Evan's on another date. He's got an endless supply of phone numbers apparently."

Connor laughed bitterly and tossed the bag of jolly ranchers he had in Jared's direction. "I got him his favorite," he croaked. "What the fuck am I still doing here Kleinman? Do you know?"

"Come inside. We can..."

"I don't want to come inside." He bared his teeth and spoke in a low growl.

Jared took off his scarf and wrapped it around Connor's bare neck. "Fine then. I'll stay out here with you until you do. He sat down. Connor was shaking. His hair covered his face and Jared could tell he was trying to hide his tears the same way Jared had that night at the party.

"I keep trying to tell myself that he's not worth all this. That I don't know...that he's a bad person or whatever but he's not. He's not seeing other people to hurt me or some shit. He just doesn't like me. He just...I just don't deserve someone like him." His voice sounded so broken that for a moment Jared hated Evan. He hated him even though Connor was right and he wasn't doing anything wrong.

"You do deserve someone like Evan."

"You don't have to lie to me Kleinman I'm not a fucking kid."

"You do!" He repeated and it was too loud and echoed in the icy streets, sound tangling with the amber glow from the street lamps. Connor looked up. Jared had realized they had the same weird eyes years ago but he didn't think he'd ever really looked at them. He didn't think he'd looked at the freckles on Connor's nose before either, or the mystery bruise on his right cheekbone he claimed he woke up with and didn't remember how he'd acquired. There was snot on his face and his eyes were red.

Jared had learned that Connor Murphy's default tended to be anger. He yelled. And his tears were more often angry than sad.

Connor drew in a long breath. The anger faded from his face into something more tired and vulnerable. "Why doesn't he like me?" He said.

Maybe they were more alike than he realized. Maybe Connor could understand him the way he understood Evan.

Jared leaned in fractionally, involuntarily and then stopped, rational part of his brain urging him to pause. You don't just do things. You think, you plan, you engineer your image so people can't see all the ways you fall short. For once the irrational and reckless and unconscious won. He leaned in the rest of the way and kissed him. He kissed Connor Murphy and he tasted like smoke and salt and felt impossibly warm.

What are you doing?

He drew back, apologies on his lips. "I shouldn't have done that. You're obviously in a bad place and it's fucked up to take advantage of..."

Connor cut him off by kissing him back, long and drawn out and hot and mutual and hungry in a way he didn't expect. Because it was just him. It wasn't someone kind and sweet like Evan or hot and edgy like Connor it was just him: not that nice or attractive or confident. It was just him and yet Connor's hands were on the back of his neck, pulling him closer. They broke apart for air.

A loud smacking sound pulled their eyes off of each other. Connor reacted first.

"Fuck! Hansen are you okay?" Evan was lying on his back in the driveway, facing away from them as if he'd been in the process of turning around to go back the way he'd come when he slipped.

Connor reacted first but Jared was the first to stand up. He could feel his heart in his throat. Beside him Connor was breathless, his lips very red even in the dark. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck. He hated the snow. Shit like this only happened when it snowed.

He ran off the porch and into the driveway, more careful with his steps now. Evan still hadn't said anything. He was covering his face with his hands.

"Ev you're going to have to say something because you're scaring the shit out of me."

It was quiet in his head despite the fact that Connor was yelling something from the yard and a car was driving by. It was quiet and then Evan spoke and it wasn't anymore.

He uncovered his face and looked up at him with a horrified and supremely embarrassed expression. "I'm really sorry."

#sincerely three #dear evan hansen #deh #deh fic #jared kleinman/evan hansen #kleinsen #treebros #jared kleinman #connor murphy #evan hansen #awi's fic

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groundramon · 7 years ago

Note

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

:O!!!

I’ll take this as asking for five facts about five characters bc im currently waiting for all/most of the items to unlock on my current zoo tycoon game and idk what to do to kill the time besides this sO:

Character 1: Skift (bc I dont talk about him enough)

1. Skift is a very ambitious person. One of the main reasons he enlists in the army in Majjikku is in hopes of some day becoming a war hero. He’s also easily influenced by other peoples’ approval or disapproval, despite how adamantly he would insist otherwise if you ask him. Hence why he wants the validation of being a household name and a hero in the history books.

2. The other main reason he enlisted in the army is because he absolutely despises his family. I’m still working on the kinks of his backstory but the jist of it is that he comes from an extremely large family with a neglectful mother and an absent father. He and his other siblings around his age were raised by their elder siblings, but Skift had the misfortune of having a personality that completely clashed with theirs and often got in fights with them, that sometimes even turned physical. As soon as he was old enough to enlist in the army, he left home and headed to the nearest enlisting center (which unfortunately was several days away since they lived in the middle of goddamn nowhere, but he makes at least)

3. Skift has no real education, living in the middle of nowhere and not having anyone to teach him skills. When he was younger he got along with his siblings better and was able to learn basic math, and of course he can speak fine, but he probably can’t read very well and anything besides basic addition and subtraction is a mystery to him. Having said that, illiteracy and a general lack of scholarly knowledge, isn’t uncommon on the Parity side, as they have the very minimal requirement of laws and government required to run a government. (Literally you can kidnap someone and as long as you give them adequate shelter, food, and water, and you dont abuse them or anything, the “police” wont do anything about it)

4. Skift gets a strong rush while in the middle of combat. Adrenaline does good things to his psyche and as long as he doesn’t suddenly realize that those were real people dying on the battlefield, he’ll be in a good mood for the rest of the day after a Parity victory. He’s not bloodthirsty, but he does get uncomfortably into it when in the heat of battle, even if he has to watch the person he’s killing die in front of him.

5. Skift in a way is supposed to be a sort of clueless libertarian/anti-ally who isnt a bigot. Like, think a white person who doesnt believe in systemic racism but wouldn’t discriminate against a person of color because the whole reason they dont believe in systemic racism is because its bad for the economy. (Which, it is, they’re right about that lmao). I dont know entirely what I’m planning to do with that concept because I dont know if I, as a very dumb white person, have the ability to play with racism/the concept of colorblindness like that, but I hope I can do SOMETHING with them. Either I’ll need to educate myself or I’ll just change that trait to being dumb about politics in general, I dunno. (Because he doesnt really care about the politics of Parity vs Halcyon, he just agrees with the Parity because thats all hes ever known.)

Bonus fact bc I had too many: Skift is pretty heavily inspired by the design of an old warrior cats OC I had named Falconstar/Falcon. He’s not exactly a dead character (I dont do anything with Warrior Cats anymore but if I did, he’d be on my list of potential characters to reboot, altho i dont know if id have the heart to take him out of the universe/AU he’s from…) but I feel like their personalities are different enough that they wont be mistaken for one another. Also Skift has a stupid scarf.

Character 2: Phillip (or is it Lenny? Idk I think I changed it to Phillip)

1. Phillip is also from Majjikku, I should mention, but he’s a part of the Halcyon side. The first thing I should mention is that he’s a prince, and 3rd in line to the Crayking throne - he has an elder brother who joins the army with him, and an elder sister who stays behind to keep the kingdom safe with their aging parents. I believe they also have a younger sibling or two, but they’re too young to be politically important. Anyways, its worth mentioning that the only reason Phillip was sent over her sister is because he’s an inadept spoiled brat, and the Halcyon side was asking for at least two members of royalty to join their ranks to form an alliance, so Phillip was sent alongside their actually combatually adept elder son. The Halcyon sent Phillip to the “less useful” soldier training camps, while his brother was able to ascend straight up in the ranks of the army. Since arriving in Halcyon territory, Phillip hasn’t seen his brother once. (It’s worth mentioning as a side note, the Craykings only allied themselves with the Halcyon side to protect their own necks. They believe the Halcyons have the upper hand in the war, and want to be on the right side of history when the war concludes. And they dont have the strength to stand up to both sides; the Halcyons have promised to protect their underwater empire from the Parities due to their allyship.

2. As I mentioned, Phillip is an inadept spoiled brat. Years of coddling in his palace have turned him into a demanding asshole who makes jokes at the expense of others and has overly high expectations from others, despite thinking he himself deserves to sit on his ass all day. There’s a deep reason for it, as there is for all my characters, but there are so many layers that caused him to act like this that at this point it’s just become his personality.

3. Having said that, Phillip grew up in an environment where acting nice was more important than being nice. Who cared what you did behind closed doors, so long as you put on a presentable front? He’s extremely charming and sociable in big social events, often making on-point jokes and contributing in a seemingly meaningful way. In fact, he’s arguably even better at it than his two older siblings, since they have opinions of their own and aren’t just a mindless robot for their parents to interject their thoughts and opinions to. Phillip is very good at regurgitating what he’s been told, and has a very flawed and honestly nonexistent sense of self because he has never had the freedom to make his own opinions. Or rather, he was told how to act and feel, and he never had the strength that his siblings had to make his own opinions on what was being taught to him.

4. Phillip wears a fancy bowtie and he refuses to take it off for unexplained reasons. There’s no deep reason to it, I just like bowties.

5. Phillip believes that both of his elder siblings are more adept and intelligent in every aspect. He respects his parents authority over the kingdom and part of why he acts like a jerk is because he legitimately has no idea what he’s doing and would rather die than inherit the throne. He knows nothing about politics, despite his entire life being politics (in more ways than one). The good news is that it seems like if something happened to both his elder siblings and his parents, it would probably go to the next sibling below him, even if they were still under 10 at the time.

Character 3: Glitch

1. Glitch REALLY needs a new name but I’m currently trying to come up with an idea of how Glitch could mean something different in their world (Majjikku, I should clarify), but right now im empty-handed and please help me.

2. Glitch is blind, or at least has significant sight problems. I think. I dont know, I really need to develop Glitch more. Maybe he just needs glasses like I do and without them everything is hella blurry but at least he can get around.

3. Glitch’s species is often used as horses in the Halcyon army due to their obedient nature and high intelligence for a species that generally isnt considered “sentient”/having human intelligence (I know sentient isnt the right word, hence why I clarified). Glitch’s species does have human-like intelligence and capabilities, having the capability for empathy and compassion and self-realization just as much if not more as other Majjikku species, but they generally lack in vocal and academic intelligence. Glitch is unusually vocal for his species, a mutation that comes up in packs of the sauropod-like species every now and then. Because of this and his sight problems, he was put in the same “lesser” squadron as Phillip, instead of the same training the other young from his herd were given.

4. Having said that, “unusually vocal” for his species is still very quiet most of the time. He has a strong understanding of the words of those around him, stronger than most of the rest of his species (although they can comprehend language, just not as quickly) and can articulate full sentences in a reasonable amount of time, he just prefers not to. He also can’t go on half-an-hour-long rants about things because he would run out of words and brainpower very quickly, which god I wish that were me because I will talk until my mouth falls off and its 3 am i s2g im not even exaggerating.

5. Glitch has no understanding of the war but as his herd is encouraged to help the war effort, as opposed to being forcibly taken (which was outlawed and deemed unethical when more and more offspring like Glitch started popping up), he supports his side and would gladly die for it. Also he loves his friends, even Phillip.

Character 4: Aquarius

1. I love Aquarius!!! Somehow she became my favorite Majjikku character and idk why. She’s got cool pants, thats probably part of the reason. Anyways Aquarius is Marble’s best friend in the series; they become fast friends on the train to their squadron when they begin talking about their similar experiences in being dragged away from their families and forcibly enlisted in the army. (Is it horrible to enlist 13 and 14 year old kids in the army by force? It absolutely is, that’s the point; I dont take my characters being young teens like most stories abt young teens do, I’m well aware they’re going to be fucked up as fuck and I’m exploiting that for all its worth.) Aquarius came from a big family of 5 with an absent mother and a nonexistent father, where her elder sister raised herself and then raised her. Unlike Skift, Aquarius became very close with her eldest sister, although they both share a resentment for their parents because of their shit awful parenting. Aquarius was forced to join the army because her three younger siblings were too young for the army, and her eldest sister had to stay behind and work a job and care for the younger kids, something Aquarius knew she wouldn’t be able to do.

2. Unlike all the other characters I’ve mentioned so far, and hell probably all the characters in Majjikku in general lol, Aquarius actually supports the Halcyon for what they stand for. Obviously with her absent mother and father, Aquarius and her siblings needed a lot of financial help. Thankfully that’s what the Halcyon system was built around, and the government was able to get Aquarius’s eldest sister a stable well-paying job and the entire family enough money to get a decent place and pay for food for a while. The government still monitors their family regularly to make sure they arent squandering the money and that everything is going okay, but they did far, far more good than harm. Aquarius believes that this is the best form of government; a form of government that on a very personal level cares for its members and helps them through hardships, and forces them on the right path. In our world, she’d be a socialist through and through, if not a straight-up communist. (Having said that, I do believe Aquarius would have different political opinions if she grew up in our world. The difference between our world governments and the Halcyon government is that the Halcyon government…actually gives a shit about people. Most of the people who work for the government are volunteers, who at best get a small place to stay and some food. Like, the Halcyon actually help 99% of the poor population in the Halcyon city. The amount of financial aid given outside of the city significantly drops, but in their city, being homeless and poor is illegal but instead of throwing you in jail for it they’ll help you get out of it. If you squander it then you’ll end up in jail, but still. Idk what Aquarius would believe in differently if she grew up here, but I dont think she’d be a straight-up communist because we have too many failed communist governments in our history.)

3. Aquarius and her family’s coloring is very odd for her species. The bear-like species that her family is made up of is generally brown, red, yellow, orange, tan, white, gray, black, ect - normal-ish fur colors. Blue, at least to the extent that Aquarius and her family have is nonexistent. It is likely that she and her family have a small percentage of an aquatic species’ DNA, such as a crayking, in them.

4. Aquarius loves being supportive of other people and listening to and relating to their struggles. She’s actually a pretty good motivational speaker and is a pretty great friend. She’s great and I love her. Also the pants.

5. Aquarius clashes a lot with Shade, another character in her squadron. I’m not giving Shade his own section but the reason is that he’s an overly negative character, constantly throwing shade at the Halcyon side and complaining about training. However, once she realizes the reasons for his dissatisfaction with his current situation, she stops calling him out when he says stuff against the Halcyon side. She does start to debate her own opinions a bit after that, and has a lot of long conversations with Marble about it in their shared bedroom. (If anyone’s interested in Shade feel free to send me another star asking about him, or reply to this post or w/e! otherwise ill just keep it a secret lol)

Character 5: Grace

1. Thank god, a character that isn’t Majjikku-related lol. Anyways Grace is the embodiment of a rebellious teenager. She doesn’t listen to any authority, goes out of her way to do bad things, and will purposely disobey what you say even if she doesnt want to do the thing she’d have to do by disobeying you. The whole reason she gets involved in Spirits’ plot is because she knows taking money from a stranger to play with the laws of science and reality would be firmly in her dad’s list of things she can’t do.

2. Speaking of her dad, he’s a little bit of a dick. He’s the reason she’s so disrespectful towards authority. He’s basically just a stereotypical religious nut; anti-gay, anti-transgender, anti-atheist, anti-anyone who isnt christian, anti-drugs, and he even enforces some form of gender roles. And he’s very vocal about these things. He tries to be a huge helicopter parent, but Grace can and will avoid him, ignore his punishments, and stay out so late that her parents cant yell at her for disobeying them. Her father is very vocal about his displeasure and downright hatred of Grace sometimes, and ever since she started questioning his words when she was a young girl, he’d yell at her for it. Her older brother isn’t too great either, but he’s more of an annoying slouch who plays video games all day instead of working than a legitimately bad guy.

3. Grace believes she’s straight because she has no interest in being sexual with a woman, but she’d be totally down with kissing and cuddling and being romantic with a woman, hence why I identify her as a biromantic heterosexual. She’s also the most sexually active of all my characters, which no I will not elaborate on that, not because I dont feel comfortable with it but because I dont know how the fuck that works. (Also side note, I headcanon things in my own stories so I like to headcanon that at some point Grace and Shawn get together and they can be all romantic and mushy n stuff together but Shawn’s totally okay with Grace going out for one night stands with guys so long as she stays safe. Obviously they talk everything out to make sure everyone is safe and okay with the relationship, but Shawn’s pretty okay with it; she’s pretty used to Grace having sex with no romantic attraction involved, and ofc Shawn isn’t into sex so she doesn’t feel like it’s a problem.)

4. Grace is closer with her mother than her father, but although her mother is very much a mediator and acts very kind and forgiving to Grace, Grace still kind of despises her. Just because Grace’s dad is a dick doesn’t mean she isn’t too.

5. Grace’s spirit form is a bloodthirsty wyvern with major anger problems. Each of the kids’ spirit forms have a slight personality outside of the kids themselves, and Grace’s is bloodthirsty and destructive - not intelligently so, but still. Most fo the kids’ spirit forms are pretty mindless and just mindlessly destructive, except two.

#thank you for the ask!! : D #stormy answers #majjikku #skift #prince phillip #aquarius #glitch #grace

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elizabethschoices · 7 years ago

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Hero, Vol. 1, Chapter 5: My Thoughts

We start off as Caleb, who is driving the getaway van. He’s muttering to himself about how he’ll show his ‘coworkers’ just exactly who he is, and I’m like who are you?

All Caleb wants to do is create chaos, but he requires more power. Is he going to touch the crystal too?

Yep. It’s in his jacket pocket, even. He squeezes the crystal and it shines brighter and brighter.

The screen whites out for a moment and then Caleb becomes Johnny Storm.

Cops gain on his ass and he mentions some crappy line about burning and then we’re done.

Now we’re playing as MC, and we’re getting coffee with Dax and a few other coworkers. Santiago says he hasn’t slept well since the gala and reveals he’s been working a lot of overtime. Voluntary, I’m sure, but I hope he’s still getting paid anyway.

MC can sympathize with him on it, but according to Marjorie, MC has been less productive since the gala. Marjorie and MC argue, but then Dax calls for peace and at least one civil argument.

What’s it like being engaged? ‘Cause my single ass sure doesn’t know.

She bitches about wedding planning and cleaning up after the gala at the same time and reveals she’s engaged to a woman that apparently took too long to propose. All I gotta say is I better get to marry Grayson. Dax applauds the nice conversation just before the news on the TV announces a new segment on superhumans.

Are we going to be X-Men’d/Civil War’d?

We’re going to Civil War it, I see. Meiko, the District Attorney, makes great points and so does the reporter. No law-abiding, average-Joe-type citizen should be taking the law into their own hands, but the police need to be doing much more, otherwise the vigilante heroes will be needed to keep the city safe, coupled with the fact that some of these bad guys aren’t just guys with guns, but superpowers. The reporter starts to ask about the police that were attacked by a man on fire, but Meiko ends the interview right then.

Marjorie is in favor of vigilantes like Talos to protect the citizens from the supervillains, whereas Santiago sees them as more of a threat to the city, and I can’t really pick a side. They’re both right.

The police should be the first on call for bank robberies or stuff like that, but someone with superhuman abilities (like Spider-Man, for example) can do more good and truly stop the bad guys before they can get away easier than a regular human being. But being a vigilante can be a dangerous mindset. Sure, you’re doing good and not being controlled, but what happens when you realize that you can’t be stopped and can do whatever the hell you want?

You become a villain.

I’ll say, due to the rise of super-powered villains, we need heroes now more than ever.

Santiago is afraid that if the civilians see themselves an inferior to the supers, they’ve lost. I can see that. It’ll become a dictatorship. Do as the super says or they’ll kill you with their weird powers. He has hope for Meiko Katsaros’ plan, and Marjorie can only hope the police are able to tackle the issue at hand.

The group goes back to work and MC asks Dax if he’d heard about the man on fire. He hasn’t, but he isn’t that surprised and suspects that there will soon be more supers roaming the streets. They’ll need to get the Prism Crystal, but they don’t have a damn clue where it is.

Dax mentions something about firing up a lazer. but MC declines because she’s gotta go back to Bayside with Grayson, who has bought The Grand and apparently also found a manager for the place.

Now we’re at The Grand with hubby and when he unlocks and opens the front doors, a cloud of dust exits. Hoo boy. MC comments how it’ll need a lot of work to return to its former glory, but then Kenji pops up and says that they can make it even better than what it used to be.

Grayson introduces MC and Kenji, and MC recognizes Kenji. Were you at the gala?

He says he was and that he was with his mom due to the fact that she needed a plus one. Grayson thinks Kenji is the perfect fit for the job, and Kenji thinks so too. Then Kenji wants to talk about his salary, but Grayson wants MC to negotiate with him, for some reason. And he wants him to take a lower salary too? For what? Why not just pay him the proper amount for this tough job he’s going to do?

We don’t get anymore info, so whatever. Don’t worry, I got this.

Grayson goes back to the office and I guess we’re just gonna have to walk back, ‘cause he was our ride. He leaves us with Kenji to talk about his salary. Grayson wants him, sure, but if he’s too expensive we can find someone else. We have other candidates in mind.

MC also brings up how young he is, but Kenji counters with the fact that he can simply connect to the younger generation better than some old fuck. Then he hits us with the ‘why should I want to work here’ question. Idk because you want a good job???

You can make this place whatever you want it to be.

We win over Kenji and he leaves his rate up to MC and Grayson to decide, because he knows Grayson will be fair about it. He then brings up the fact that Grayson wants to restore the place, but he thinks the rugged atmosphere will sell better with the younger crowd, citing that they don’t go to clubs and stuff for the good parties, but rather places like abandoned warehouses.

He says he shouldn’t have to explain it to a girl like us, but lmao I’m always working what night life could I possibly have. Actually, I don’t get out much.

Kenji is surprised but supposes that‘s why he hasn’t met MC before, because he would remember seeing her at a party. Boi you best stop now because Grayson Prescott is the love of my life.

He puts forth the idea of a secret party to get the place’s rep back up before it even opens again. I love it. He says he’ll take care of everything and to tell our friends about the party.

Clearly we did, because later in the evening, we’re at The Grand with Poppy and Dax. The line is hella long and Poppy is worried about how long it’ll take to get in, where Dax is wondering how the hell Kenji could have possibly gotten a liquor license so soon. Kenji then appears and informs Dax that he pulled some strings and got a special, one-night permit to distribute liquor.

Kenji says that he’s not going to charge Dax and Poppy for entry, and they like him for it. He’s not bad, I guess. I’m #TeamGrayson, guys.

We head into The Grand and the place is packed. The bartender asks if we’re Kenji’s new friend, and these choices are dumb.

Hey, I fixed it!

We just met.

Honestly I don’t drink (not old enough lmao) so I don’t know what these things are. I’ll have a lemon drop? Bartender is into Poppy and reveals his name to be Skylar. Is this going to be another Tyler/Abbie/Leila thing? Because I don’t even think I’ve spent diamonds on Grayson and myself thus far lmao wtf makes you think I will for side character relationships?

Honestly, this isn’t my business at all. I’ll stay out of it.

Skylar serves up MC and Poppy’s drinks, and only notices Dax afterwards. He’s super nice to him though, despite Dax’s pissy order of a neat whiskey. Dax is complaining about Skylar as they walk through the crowd and accidentally bumps into a woman, spilling her drink. However, she basically slows down time and saves her drink. So she’s another mutant. Great.

I’m not following her. But she’s gone. Let’s just keep an eye out.

Kenji finds MC and attempts to flirt, but I’m not having it. Maybe another time.

We head outside due to commotion and learn that the DMV across the street from The Grand has caught fire. MC puts on her suit and attempts to confront the man on fire, but then Talos pushes through and faces him himself.

Talos is totally Kenji, right?

#hero #hero book 1 #hero volume 1 #choices #playchoices #choices stories you play #choices stories we play #pixelberry choices #pixelberry #choices game #elizabethschoices #my thoughts #my review #my opinion

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merlinficreview · 7 years ago

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Accidental Memory in Case of Death Review Part 1!

Accidental Memory in the Case of Death by derryere

Word Count 74987

So I know it’s been forever but working night shift really does fuck normal basic human functions all over the place and that’s why I haven’t been so on top of my shit here.

This fic is my favorite fic ever. Seriously. It’s even a reincarnation fic which I normally hate. I was scrolling through the Merlin tag the other day and noticed that this had just recently been posted on AO3 so what better time to review it? There aren’t any chapters so I’ll just have to break this up some other way.

As always italics represent direct quotes from the fic and bold represents italicized writing within the fic.

Let’s do this!

“He takes whatever sleep he can get.” That’s our opener. Not looking good for this kid here. Mystery character is sleeping on a train bench. Like a hobo. Smells like fic!Merlin to me!

“The compartments' low windows angle the morning sun, letting the light through and colouring it a shade of brown in even, rectangular shapes on the platform floor. He blinks and numbly takes notice, wading through the brightness of it, not quite sure what day it is or how to differentiate this morning from any given morning of the past three years.” Well that’s a sort of depressing outlook. I’ve been there before though.

Mystery character makes it to campus and goes to class to sleep, just to be woken up by a friend named “Art” who appears to still be high from the previous night. Sometimes he and Art sleep through their classes, “On days like that, they quarantine the back of the hall, splaying themselves over the chairs that weren't made for sleep at all, dozing off to the sound of lectures they'd attended before in previous years but in which they—every time again—had forgotten to pay attention.”

What is going on that this character needs so much sleep? Why is he not sleeping at home? Does he have narcolepsy? I am concerned. Also, pay the fuck attention. College is way too expensive to be failing multiple classes multiple times. P.S. and spoiler alert: “Art” is not Arthur which took me a ridiculously long time to realize the first time I read this. You’re welcome.

Mr. Narcolepsy observes his fellow classmates and this is where, though we don’t know it yet, we get the introduction to the second half of our pair: “Then that particular group of girls who always sit together—and out of all there's only one he thinks is hot but she never looks up at the right time—sitting next to Heineken, a broody kid who takes his skateboard to class, and whose real name is forever lost due to a supposed incident during first year introduction that involved a beer bottle, an unsavoury way of putting it to use and a partner too drunk to care.” Ok then.

“Someone calls him, a mate or someone's mate, a sharp, ‘Oi, Tony,’ usually toward the end of the lecture or maybe even after it, as they saunter their way towards the cafeteria. ‘You up for it, tonight?’” Tony? What the hell?

Ok, yes I’ve read this before so I already knew this but the first time I read this I was hella confused.

Anyways, Tony goes home and tells his mother he is going out. He parties all night, which we don’t see and this is actually fine because the way it’s written, it doesn’t feel like an eye roll worthy, SHOW US, DON’T TELL US moment. Nothing feels missed by us not being at this party.

So then Tony goes home and awkwardly goes to his mother’s room, loudly eating cereal, sitting at her “bedside.” He wakes her up and they have a conversation which is written kind of oddly because we only get his side of the conversation. I originally read this as he was talking to her on the phone and was confused as to why he went to her room to call her, and also a little concerned. Tony tells her to go back to sleep. Why are you being so weird about your mother, Tony?

Magical Paragraph Break with: “(day one)”

Arthur and Merlin are having a conversation about being king. Merlin asks Arthur what the one thing he would do for himself would be. Arthur’s response is, “’I don't know,’ he says. ‘Allow sparring indoors? Always wanted to do that. Like a sparring room, where you can, sort of—jump on the tables, and all, with the swords and . . . I don't know. I'll cut down on the dances, probably.’ He thinks about this for a moment, and then, ‘I hate dancing.’” Merlin makes fun of him but I think it’s kind of cute that Arthur wants to spar indoors. It would be dangerous so they’d have to make up some rules so no random castle worker doesn’t accidentally walk in on the middle of a sparring match and get hurt. Anyways, what I like about Arthur’s response is that it’s 100 percent something for him and wouldn’t negatively impact anyone (unless there were no rules) and Arthur probably so rarely just got to have fun growing up so this could be the one thing he can do for enjoyment. Merlin says the one thing he would do is paint the castle green. I also approve of this.

Merlin then changes the subject and asks about Arthur’s future in terms of getting married. He gets really upset during the conversation, you know because he’s in love with Arthur. Merlin asks Arthur if he’s even been in love and Arthur says he has. Then there’s awkward silence until Arthur asks Merlin the same question. Merlin asks how one knows when they are in love and Arthur says Merlin would know. Then Arthur kisses him and they race to the castle which of course ends up with Merlin straddling Arthur, as you do, “Merlin doesn't feel the gifted victory is any less of a victory when he rolls them over in a bit of a scuffle and ends up on top—straddling Arthur, holding his hands to the ground over his head. Arthur is beaming up at him, eyes bright with the playfulness of the game, and he wordlessly laces his fingers with Merlin's—sending both their hearts skidding and sliding and falling all over themselves within their chests. Merlin fills up and then runs over with it, with the goofy grins and wide eyes, and leans down in a brief, quick movement—lightly kissing Arthur, for just a moment.” What I like about this is that it’s kind of sweet? Like even though it includes the annoying cliché of boys being boys playing and oops, now one is on top of the other trope, it’s kind of adorable.

Back to Tony: Tony is once again sleeping in a public place. I don’t understand this. Why doesn’t he sleep at home like a normal person? Quit bothering your mother and go to your room and sleep, dude.

Tony recognizes someone and thinks about how he occasionally sees people from high school on the train on Fridays going back home. “Usually, Anthony has no one's company to resent but his own.” Damn, Tony.

The person he recognizes is Heineken, whose actual name we don’t know yet. They make awkward eye contact and the train comes to an abrupt unscheduled stop. Heineken lights a cigarette to which Tony tells him he can’t, so Heineken leaves the train. Fair enough.

Tony gives him an annoying party pooper lecture about how the train could leave ASAP and Heineken is just 2Kool4Skool so he points out that the situation is sketch anyways because the doors to the train shouldn’t be unlocked. P.S. spellcheck doesn’t highlight 2Kool4Skool.

Anyways, Tony gives in to peer pressure and follows Heineken. Heineken finds some ruined stone structure.

Tony makes super awkward conversation, “’You're a second year, aren't you.’ Anthony strolls after as the guy skips over the wall, following its inclining path—up a slight hilling easily mistaken for higher grasses. ‘What of it,’ he says, flicking what's left of his smoke to the ground, stepping on it as he goes. Anthony shrugs. ‘Nothing. Just . . . ‘ He pushes himself off on his knee, climbing up the ascend. ‘We have some classes together, don't we?’ ‘Do we?’ A quick, wry glance. ‘Never noticed.’ Noting the thick sarcasm to that, Anthony nods while pursing his lips into a thin line. He looks down and pretends he and his friends haven't—once or twice in a distant past—on seeing this guy skate across the campus path, shouted something ugly in his direction for the sake of a laugh.” Yikes. Be more of an asshole, Tony. It’s also super weird that he’s hanging out with Heineken like this after he’s been so horrible to him.

Heineken continues on even though Tony suggests they go back, “The momentum gives him a bit too much movement and he nearly runs the last few steps, jogging into the field before setting in a slow walk toward the single boulder placed—quite randomly—in its middle.” Sword in the Stone boulder maybe?

As they approach the boulder, Anthony asks Heineken what his name is and Heineken refuses to tell him, pointing out the nickname Tony and his stupid friends gave him. Then, “’Look at this,’ he says, tentatively pulling at something sticking out of the veined, grey surface. Anthony turns, comes to stand closer and feels a cackle of his own escape his lips at the sight of eroded metal—a distinct hilt of some sort—peeking out of the stone.” Heineken tries to pull it out; he fails so Anthony gives it a try. For a second, it seems like it’s going to work but then there’s a magical gust of wind and the next thing we know, Tony is being woken up by the train conductor and told to get off the train. Heineken isn’t there.

Tony walks him and when he gets in, he wakes up his poor mother. He tells her he fell asleep on the train, “’Yes, well, that wouldn't happen,’ she tells him as he makes for the open kitchen, rifling through the cabinets, ‘if you went to sleep at decent hours. Like the normal human being I raised you to be, yes. Not a hamster.’” She knows what’s up.

Tony goes to bed and has some weirdass dreams about going into the woods and killing boars with spears. Gee, I wonder what that’s all about?

“It stays strange when he looks at the microwave and marvels at it, thinks: how peculiar. It is strange when he scours the room for a pendant he forgot somewhere before realising that What, and What? And that he doesn't have a pendant, hasn't ever been given one by a great-uncle because he doesn't have a great-uncle and it stays strange throughout the day—giving him headaches, confusion thumping at his temples, and he thinks it's perhaps really gone on for too long, he's gone without regular sleep for too many years and that's it, he's gone mad, he's gone off his rocker and this is how— “ So... Tony’s having a bit of an off day.

Tony’s weird friend Art calls and asks him to hang out. “He goes out that night. He goes, Fuck the exams, and changes his shirt, ruffles his hair and—looking in the bathroom mirror—hollows his cheeks, slaps the sides of his face to a quick rhythm. He listens for the telltale honking of the small car when it stops out in the street, and when it comes he jogs down the stairs, keys in hand. I'm going, he calls out to the rooms of the house. Be back later.” Well that’s an interesting way to get ready.

“’Wait, Anthony, come here for a second,’ his mother replies from her bedroom behind the kitchen, and he goes—smiles in the doorway as she makes a vague gesture for him to come near, help her out without actually saying it. He crouches by her side, then, lets her hold on to his neck as he lifts her out of the chair and sets her down on the bed.”

I don’t understand the relationship Tony has with his mother. Is she an invalid? Why is he lifting her out of chairs and tucking her into bed? She was perfectly capable of walking over to him the night before.

At the party, Tony and Art and another friend of theirs get into a fight. Tony hits his head. “It could be his addled brain reacting to the blow that confuses him for a moment with a rushing flash of things he doesn't remember ever happening but that are still in his head.” Ominous.

Tony says to Art that they’ll have a story to tell people about the party. “’Not much of a story, though, issit?’ Art says. ‘Some tosser shoved at you and you bravely retaliated by fainting the fuck all over yourself. Well done, Tones. Well done.’” Ahahah nice one, Art. That actually made me laugh.

Tony not at all subtlety brings up Heineken to Art and asks what his real name is. Art says his last name is Hawk, so we finally realize Heineken is supposed to be Merlin, what with the name connection. Tony gets super defensive about the rumors surrounding Hawk and the beer bottle. Art says the other person involved in the incident tried to sue Hawk. “’He's supposedly really filthy rich, you know,’ Art cuts in. ‘The Hawk bloke. So, yeah, all I'm saying is—you never know what his family did to keep it all hush hush. You know how they are, old money and all. Don't take very kindly to bottles up the arse.’ ‘This is bullshit,’ Anthony says, deadpan, adding a small laugh. ‘Seriously, Arthur. This is complete bullshit.’” See here’s where my confusion is, I don’t understand why the author decided to call Tony’s friend Arthur. It just makes everything so much more confusing which is why it took me forever to decipher who was supposed to be whom.

After the party, Art and Tony get something to eat and Art tells Tony there is something different about him, cue flashback annnnnnd scene.

Magical Paragraph Break: “(day two)”

Arthur decides that he and Merlin should take a little trip and Merlin is beautifully sarcastic about it. Arthur teases Merlin that he’s going to take someone else, which of course Merlin can’t have.

So they go on their trip, which is on foot for some reason. “Halfway up the incline, Merlin gives up and collapses on the dusty road, all sweat and heaving breaths, one arm slung over his face. He hears Arthur come to stop a while ahead and chuckles, breathlessly, as he yells, ‘Don't worry about me, Arthur!’ He vaguely waves his free hand in the air, dismissing the approaching man. ‘You just keep on keeping on. Really. I'll be fine. Here. Dying. You just—just save yourself, go, don't look back.’” Merlin is me any time I’m required to do anything physical.

Arthur offers Merlin a piggyback ride and it’s adorable even though Arthur is sweaty and gross. “’You are a very sweaty man,’ Merlin tells Arthur a while later, cheek resting on his shoulder. Arthur, a bit breathless with exertion, tries for a sarcastic laugh but gets as far as a puff of breath. ‘I am carrying you up a hill,’ he says on an exhale. ‘You might want—to show—a bit more—‘ The gravelly stones crumble under them, and Arthur steadies his footing. ‘—Gratitude.’ Merlin smiles into his neck, holds on a bit tighter and says, ‘You are soooo strong.’ And, ‘The power of your arms is enough to render us mortals speechless.’ Arthur grumbles and Merlin moves his lips close to his ear, adding a quiet, ‘My Arthur. So chivalrous.’ ‘Shut up,’ Arthur says, but strokes his thumb along the side of Merlin's knee all the same—small, continuous rhythms all the way to the top.”

They look over the hill at the kingdom and makeout a bit. End flashback.

Meanwhile, Tony is losing his shit. He’s sitting in the classroom the day of an exam and waits for Hawk to show up. “Anthony is walking before managing to register the way his heartbeat picks up, the way his nerves—already frazzled and out of sorts all weekend—jolt to attention like a warning as he approaches the boy. ‘We need to talk,’ is how he starts, standing closer than strictly necessary—angry for no good reason.” Be creepier, Tony.

Tony is super confrontational about the train situation which I had honestly forgotten about for some reason. He asks Hawk if they were on the train together and Hawk gives a nonanswer. Serves Tony right. “With huffed breath, Anthony lets his hand drop. ‘What do you mean what if—what does that even mean? Jesus, I—was there a crash? I mean . . . ‘ He runs his tongue over his lip, nervously, blinking rapidly. ‘Something's wrong. In my—‘ In a shaky pause, he briefly touches his forehead. "I can't—think right. We . . . got off the train, right? That wasn't—I didn't dream that we . . . ‘ At this the boy's bravado slips a little, and there's a bit of an edge to his voice when he replies, ‘I don't know.’” Tony gets kind of mean and blames it all on Hawk. Hawk rightfully tells him to fuck right off. Then Hawk just awesomely just skateboards away, ignoring the fact that they have a test. Tony thinks about following him. “He curves the board as he reaches the double doors, pushing them open without even stopping, and Anthony is going to shout something—something insulting, loud, anything, but the intention gets stuck in his throat at the familiar yet impossibly alien idea of something like this, of him and the boy and a fight, a market and—oh, don't walk away!—the stumbling, the laughter, like nothing that had ever happened before and yet—“ Awww, memories!

Tony goes back to the room for the exam and continues to have a fractured reality, getting confused about the scene in episode four of Merlin with the golden chalice. Damn straight, I knew the episode number right off the top of my head, in case you were wondering.

Anthony leaves the exam hall and catches up to Hawk, grabbing his arm. This next whole scene is so good, you’re getting it all.

“The boy's arm tenses under his grip. The movement of muscles shifts against his palm, through the fabric of his plaid shirt, and Anthony's heart is sent racing. The inexplicable reaction of recognition has him fixing his jaw, clenching it, trying to hold it down—keep at bay the dozens of ideas, thoughts and pleas that push at his mind, clearly not his, never his, yet somehow there, like a noise that's been turned up. The boy doesn't move. He stares at Anthony with a furious lack of understanding, a tenseness, a sense of suspense in those expressive, wide-set eyes. It is such an odd face, such a peculiar sharpness and build, but he feels no need to look at any particular part of it—the image so easily detailed in his mind already—thinking of a birthmark on the side of the boy's neck before his gaze flitters down to see it. His breath leaves him as his hand slips down the boy's arm, holding on still but now to his wrist. Swallowing, he runs his thumb over the edge of the sleeve—then tugs under it, brushing over the warm skin, back and forth on the inside of his wrist. ‘Merlin,’ he says, croakily, not sure what it means but feeling it all the way to the pit of his stomach. The boy takes in a shaky breath. ‘Fuck,’ he whispers on the exhale, and his fingers curl down—briefly touching Anthony's before he snatches back his hand, fisting it at his side. He glances around quickly, as though wary of anyone having seen them, and on finding the quad as good as deserted save for distanced voices—a faraway visitor taking a picture of old corridor arches—turns back to Anthony, licking his lips as he says,

‘Not here.’ And, ‘Come on.’”

How good is that? I like the, “noise that’s been turned up,” description. And Anthony calling him, “Merlin.” Hawk realizing that he’s not the only one with these visions and giving in for a second. My heart, guys.

So then they introduce themselves. Hawk’s first name is Emory and he tells Anthony they are going to his house.

They get to Emory’s apartment and there’s some awkward frantic frottage. The part I want to point out is this, “’Fuck.’ Emory tightens his hold, the rolling, upward movements of his hips losing accuracy as he gasps out, ‘Arthur, god, Arthur, don't—‘ All Anthony can do is reply with a low, ‘Merlin,’ and, ‘Merlin, Merlin, Mer—‘ as he kisses his way down his jaw, tilting up to get his teeth on those lips--Christ, those lips—but Emory turns his head with strained certainty, muscles moving as he clenches his jaw. Anthony tries to follow it, but Emory stops him with a forced, ‘Don't.’” Emory’s reaction to Anthony calling him Merlin is important later. For Reasons. Afterwards, Anthony just leaves without a word.

Magical Paragraph Break: “(day three)”

Merlin is super busy doing the work of a bunch of other servants because Arthur has given him nothing to do for two days. Arthur finds him working and says they should go for a ride. Merlin tells him he can’t. “Arthur wants to know why. Why, why must Merlin ruin all the fun, must insist on getting himself absolutely filthy doing a job that isn't even his to begin with rather than have mad fun with Arthur—which is, theoretically speaking, more or less his job. ‘Because,’ Merlin explains quietly, ‘the rest of the household dislikes me enough as it is.’ Arthur gives him a disbelieving look. He pushes off the table, flopping onto the bench next to Merlin without much grace. ‘Why would they dislike you?’ Merlin pauses for a moment. ‘Do you know of any other servant who gets time off to laze about with his master because it's too hot to work?’” I can’t say I blame the other servants. I’d be so pissed if I was working my ass off and there was one coworker who I looked over at and was doing nothing. Oh hey…

Arthur then proceeds to follow Merlin around bothering him when he’s working. It’s cute but oh man I would be so pissed if I was Merlin. Arthur spends his time making sexual comments and asking stupid questions, “Arthur flitters behind him as he works, following him around with that stupid grin, chewing on the fruit and asking what's that (‘A spatula.’ ‘Oh, right.’), what was that? (‘Dunno.’ ‘Felt like—the ground was, uh, shaking.’ ‘They're probably just taking down the chandelier upstairs.’), and once, when they're alone, sliding close with a hey, hey, what're you doing? ‘Washing the cutlery, Arthur.’ ‘Is the cutlery dirty, then?’ ‘What?’ ‘Is it very, very dirty, Merlin?’ ‘What?’ ‘Is it very, very—‘”

HAHA Four for you, Arthur, that made me laugh. I’ll even forgive the mess that is the structure of that paragraph.

Merlin throws dirty dishwater at Arthur, they play fight and then Arthur decides to help Merlin wash dishes. “Merlin raises his eyebrows at it, but doesn't look up—doesn't say a thing. Arthur, all nonchalance and soapy clumsiness, starts to idly chatter about the feast. The new servant maid who set fire to the tapestry. The tapestry they used to have in the east wing with the weird imagery that made no sense until someone hung it upside down one day, and once it did make sense it had to be taken down altogether.” This is hilarious. I could totally see something like that happening.

Afterwards, they make out a little in a corridor. I feel like they could have easily been caught but what do I know. End Scene!

Anthony is still having a meltdown. He googles “King Arthur” and “Merlin”, learning nothing, then for extra funsies googles “gay.” He starts watching gay porn but can’t get into it. Then he has a little flashback of Arthur and Merlin and has a big gay crisis about it after he gets turned on.

Anthony spends the next few days hiding out in his room with all these new memories. His mother reminds him he’s missing another exam. Damn, how long has Anthony been locked up in his room? How many exams does this class have?

Anyways, Anthony misses the exam but hangs outside the room looking through the doors to see if he can find Emory. Like a total fucking weirdo. Art comes out of the classroom and Anthony asks him if Emory is in there. “’I don't know?’ Art says by way of a question, looking puzzled, as if unsure of the funny in the joke. ‘I don't give a shit? Look, Anthony, are you—‘ ‘You were just in there, what d'you mean you don't know? I mean, for fuck's sake, the guy has a skateboard with him, how fucking hard is it to miss someone walking around with a—‘” Calm down, Anthony. Damn. Not everyone is obsessed with Emory like you are.

Anthony then stalks his way over to Emory’s apartment and bangs on his door so much a neighbor comes out and tells him to leave since Emory isn’t there. Anthony just goes back the next day. Damn, dude.

He ends up buzzing the neighbor’s apartment and the neighbor tells him Emory is at work at the supermarket nearby. Anthony then stalks Emory at his place of work. Not. Fucking. Cool. He demands that they talk. “’It's . . . ‘ He sighs, rubs a hand to his brow. ‘It's getting worse. I don't know. I keep on—remembering. You. And, well, these things that we—‘” Emory isn’t a fan of having this conversation at work, you know, with coworkers around. So they go into the alley behind the store. Which wasn’t a very good idea because then Anthony shoves him up against the wall and the start more awkward frotting. They continue calling each other Arthur and Merlin.

When it’s over, Emory attempts to go back to work and they have a little fight because Anthony doesn’t want him to leave. “Emory, going from wary to a kind of angry in a flash, lashes out in a hissed, ‘Listen, you're having your weird, quarter-life gay—crisis of—whatever. I don't care. And somehow, ironically, you've decided to take it out on me. So excuse me if I'm not thrilled to—‘ ‘Do not,’ Anthony interrupts with another half-aborted step. ‘Do not make me out to be the crazy one. Don't even—You were there. On that train. Out there. You were there. You—when I touch you, you call me—‘ ‘Shut up.’ Emory says it with a threatening finger in Anthony's direction, then again, ‘Shut up. Stop.’” What I like about this is that we get another subtle hint that Emory isn’t 100% cool with all of this.

Emory ditches work and they go back to the train to find the field again. It’s not there so they decide to drive up the next day. Emory tells Anthony to pick him up at his parents’ house.

The next day Anthony discovers that Emory lives in a massive house. Anthony runs into Emory’s brother who knows exactly who he is since they attended the same school. Emory finds them and they leave on Anthony’s motorcycle.

They reach the field and the big boulder isn’t there. After looking around they sit down in the grass and Anthony asks Emory about the big house. “He turns away with a scowl. ‘Don't talk to me like you know me.’ Anthony stares at the back of his head. He frowns, notes the tense set of his shoulders under his worn shirt—the taut lines of his back. Reaching out, soothingly stroking the small, exposed stretch of skin along the side of his lower back, Anthony quietly says, ‘I do know you.’” Poor Emory. Anthony needs to fucking chill.

Anthony asks Emory if he remembers other people from back then. “’They're not my memories.’ Looking at Anthony, then, serious and nothing like the short glances from before, Emory says, ‘We're not them, you know.’ ‘We look the same,’ Anthony replies, feeling weirdly defensive of this point. ‘Yeah, but that's a part of the mindfuck. And that's what it is.’ He keeps his gaze level, earnest. ‘A mindfuck.’”

Emory mentions how confusing the whole thing is, “’I know. Me too.’ Anthony tries to catch his eye. ‘But I remember him, though. All of it. It's like . . . at least it feels like I'm remembering you.’ ‘I am not him. I'm not.’” So again, we get the hint that Emory is super uncomfortable with all of this and Anthony is oblivious.

When they get to Emory’s apartment, Anthony asks him to go get a drink with him and Emory tells him he wants to ignore whatever’s been going on and that he and Tony aren’t friends. Anthony is upset by this but he doesn’t really argue. After Emory goes inside, Anthony calls up his friend Art to hang out. He and Art go to a club where he hooks up with a guy who looks like Merlin/Emory. Art catches him and asks him about it. Anthony gets super defensive and then leaves.

That’s it for this part. Off to an interesting start. I like how Anthony and Emory have different names and personalities from their previous incarnations. I also like how much the flashbacks/memories negatively affect them. Often times when you read a reincarnation fic, Arthur and Merlin just kind of are like, “huh. Ok then!” and it’s all easy peasy. This feels like something much more organic to what would happen if this was a real situation and I like that. It also like Emory’s constant insistence that he isn’t Merlin, something Anthony isn’t quite willing to grasp, which will end up causing a bunch of problems later on. My only criticism would be that the structure of some of the paragraphs is odd but whatever. It’s not so bad that it distracts too much from the story.

Until Next Time:

#merlin #bbc merlin #merlin fic #review #Accidental Memory in Case of Death #this is my favorite fic #I love it so much #Merlin is not Merlin #Arthur is not Arthur #reincarnation #Anthony has a weird relationship with his mother #Emory skateboards and is 2Kool4Skool

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guardianofjunmyeon · 8 years ago

Text

Seven (Part 7)

Paring: All of EXO x OC

Genre: Romance; Angst; Fantasy Post-Apocalyptic AU; Smut; Drama

Description: For a girl who has difficulty distinguishing emotionally charged decisions from logic, being placed in the middle of a growing war is the last thing the world needs. She finds herself stuck in a world full of mutants, magic, and privilege. It’s up to her to decide where she wants to stand. Will she save those who need her most, or will she let her own selfish desires turn her into the thing she once hated most. A human infected with the Seven.

Warnings: Literally…everything. R*pe. Self Harm. Eating Disorders. Slavery. Violence. Abuse. Not for the faint hearted.

Prologue, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Rest of the Story

When I wake up later the same day, I have found a new sense of purpose. I think I know what my next steps are going to be, and I need to talk to Tao to finalize my thoughts. To see if what I want to do is really going to help. I don’t want to jump in head first if it’s going to be for nothing.

I stare at my reflection as a brush my teeth with my new toothbrush. I feel as though I am a different person from who I was just a few weeks ago. Not only am I cleaner, but I’m healthier. I feel way healthier than I have ever felt. I can only assume my new found condition is due to that Yixing guy who came in and basically erased all of my bruises, cavities, and wounds. He’s a healer, but he must have like hella power to be able to fix anything. I feel and look different, and I’m not sure whether or not this is for better or worse. I’m still just as gross on the inside as I was before.

How had I not noticed how…gross I was before? Like, I’d never had a problem with my appearance since it’s all superficial and based on personal preference. But now thinking back to what I considered ‘clean’ before is pathetic. All of the human boys I’d known weren’t much different though. Perhaps that’s why I was never really concerned with it. Even still, I should have probably somewhat known how dirty and battered I looked to the trained eye. Especially compared to Tao. I had always thought that he had looked weirdly…fresh for another human. Now I know. He just took care of himself and his hygiene.

After freshening up for the day and putting the clothes I slept in back on my body (they weren’t dirty so I saw no reason to not reuse them), a pale pink pair of shorts and a white camisole, I amble out of my room. The light of the moon shows me that I’ve missed the rest of breakfast and lunch. I might have even missed dinner at this point. I should find food before I talk to Tao. Because that’s the most important thing.

Nutrition.

I leave the room and it’s unmissable how lethargic my body is. Walking feels like a difficult task, and each step away from bed feels like a step closer to my own death.

I reach the staircase and am met with an unfamiliar face who was taking angry steps up the stairs. I make a noise of surprise and the new boy looks up from his feet to me. I figure that I should try a new approach and should maybe not be a dick when first meeting people. I have the chance to be nice, and for the first time I take it.

I open my mouth to introduce myself, but before I can utter any greeting his teeth are bared, and his forearm is pressed against my neck, my body against the wall. His force is hard enough to make ability to breathe difficult, but not hard enough to crush my esophagus or seriously harm me. I would fight back, but after all the mental draining and crying I really can’t get my body to put up much of a fight. The hairs on my arms stand on edge like he’s some kind of balloon charged with static.

“Who are you?!” he hisses. “What are you doing here you piece of-”

“Yah! June!” the pressure is released from my throat and I slide against the wall down to the floor. I take in sharp breaths. Tao stands a few feet away with both of his hands on one of the arms of the boy who just tried to kill me. I can’t make out what he tells the fellow, but honestly I don’t want to know. The boy’s eyes are filled with blatant hate, and I know for a fact that I’ve never met him before this encounter. The boy shrugs Tao off after trading a few words and walks off.

“Jongdae isn’t always like that.” Tao puts a hand out to help me on to my feet and I gladly take it. I am already not a fan of this Jongdae guy. Try to do something good once, and this is what happens. Not a good sign. “Something must have happened in the castle to make him so hostile today.” I can only nod in response as I caress my still sore esophagus. Tao tosses a long arm over my shoulder and we both head to the kitchen. We enter and Tao shoves me over to a chair that is situated at the kitchen island. “Sit.”

I don’t protest and watch as he goes to work making me a sandwich.

“I can make my own sandwich you know. I have hands.” He pauses in his work and blushes slightly.

“Sorry. I was just trying to be helpful after everything that’s happened…”

“If you really want to make it though, I won’t stop you. Proceed.” He smiles briefly before continuing on. Ever since I got here, our relationship has been awkward at best. He is hesitant to talk to me, and I can never find the right words to say to him. I try to break through our awkwardness. “You really like it here don’t you?” I ask as he cuts the sandwich in half.

“Yes.” He says without hesitation. “For the first time since my mom died, this is where I felt happy. Finding Kris was one of the moments that I felt like my life turned around.” he picks up the plate and places it on the counter in front of me. Tao is the kind of person that I believe all of the kids in the 3rd ring could turn out to be if they were given the chance to be happy. He has a different outlook on life and it’s endearing. Even though I attacked him when we first met, he was still able to make me open up to him. Perhaps I should, I can’t believe I’m saying this, be more like Tao. I don’t touch the food, instead choosing to look into his dark eyes. He looks back without any of the fear that was in Jongin’s, any of the uneasiness in Kris and pretty boys, or the hate of that Jongdae fellow.

“Tao…” he blinks in acknowledgement. “Do you think I should do this? What Kris wants me to do?” he blinks again and then nods his head a few times slowly.

“I think…that you could be the one to save us. The kids like you and me, and my friends who are in the castle. They don’t tell me all that happens in there, but I’m not dumb. I can figure out what’s going on in there even when they don’t show up here bruised and shaking.” He props his head up in his hand.

“Why me though? Why couldn’t you have brought some other girl here for Kris? I know there aren’t many of us, but I’m not the only one.” He looks off thoughtfully and then clicks his tongue.

“Well first off, you’re my friend and I wanted to bring you here before I knew about this whole plan thing anyway…” he starts. He pouts a bit before continuing on. “I heard that most girls turn easily once they start to get treated like first class citizens…and I don’t know. You’re different. From what I told Kris, I think he thought you just happened to be the right choice so he didn’t look for anyone else. I think Kris believes that fully now too. You would be able to fight back. You use to defend the boys back at the orphanage when they were hurt and you didn’t ask for anything in return. You’re genuinely nice, and not hell bent on surviving at the expense of everyone else.” I smile authentically at his compliment and my face heats up. I grab a sandwich slice and bite in to it to hide my flustered expression.

After hearing how highly he thinks of me, and how genuine everyone’s intentions seem to be, the rest of my doubt fades away with my swallow of the sandwich. I still feel like this is going to go straight to shit, but I’m open to trying now. “I’ll do it.” I tell him before taking a bite in to the sandwich again.

“What?”

I try to talk around my mouth full of food. “I said I’ll do it.” I swallow the chewed up bread and meat and whatnot. “I’ll go in to the Queen’s castle and try to…fix this. To fix all of this if I can.” He straightens up in excitement and claps his hands excitedly like a little kid. He tackles me in a hug and we both almost topple over with the chair. I hold tightly to my sandwich slice while laughing at how happy Tao has suddenly turned. I’m relived the awkwardness between us is gone; I’m not used to not knowing what to say to him. “Dude, get off of me. I need to finish eating.”

“This is the best thing you’ve ever said. You don’t say much worth listening to usually, and this might be the first time you’ve said something worth hearing.” He jokes.

“For someone who follows and listens to Kris like some kind of one legged puppy you sure are talking rather tough to me right now.”

“Kris is a great man, and you should watch it. I’ll choose Kris over you any day.”

“I find that very hard to believe. You love me after all you big emotional cheese ball.” I reach for his cheek to squeeze it; he scowls and dodges my hand quickly. For the first time since arriving here I smile again fully. It feels like our relationship has gone right back to normal. It’s like it was before, full of teasing, joking, and lightheartedness.

I missed this.

“I’ll tell Kris tonight, and then I’ll tell Luhan in the morning. I think he’s asleep right now.” Tao says grabbing my other sandwich half and taking a huge bite out for himself. I frown at the loss of food and at Tao’s statement.

“Luhan? Who is Luhan?” I grab the Tao bitten part of my sandwich and shove it in my mouth before he can steal any more. Tao squints his eyes at me as if I’ve said something stupid. I hate when he looks at me like I’m an idiot or beneath him or something.

“Who’s Luhan? Really? You’ve seen him every day…” he tilts his head to the side and my eyes widen in realization. The pretty one. That deer eyed boy! I’ve been referring to him as the pretty on all this time, I forgot that he actually has a name. I chew my food and laugh sheepishly while avoiding his gaze. He laughs, “You’re an idiot.”

I haven’t taken the time to figure out anything about the people around me. Being an asshole and disregarding everyone but myself…I really need to turn this act around. I’m not an asshole and I have to prove that to them and to myself. I’ve been wallowing so hard in my own pity that I really haven’t been observant to what’s around me. I’m starting to believe that I really am an inconsiderate douche bag.

It’s time to show them what I’m really like. What girls can be like. Girls can be caring and selfless, I’ll show them. I’ll drop my guard just a bit and I’ll get them to trust me. I’ll trust them. I’ll do what I need to do to save them. If that’s going to start with me exposing my own vulnerability to them, so be it. Maybe it’ll be worth it in the end.

#exo #reverse harem #reverseharem #exo reverse harem #exo fanfiction #exo story #tw #all the things

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