#because she doesn´t have to explain herself when she´s on the road- doesn´t have to give anyone a name or talk about the things that stay
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A song that reminds me of your muse! (Open)
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#.ooc#.memes#/I thought about putting in a Mitski song of course- but decided on this one#/Six feels like she thrives in places and situations that feel liminal- always on the borders or stuck in the in betweens-#because she doesn´t have to explain herself when she´s on the road- doesn´t have to give anyone a name or talk about the things that stay#in the back of her mind. All she has to do is the enjoy the moment while it lasts and go with the flow#if she decides to speak its because she wants to and not out of some obligation. she can be the six thats on the road and not the six that´#people know from the Strip. Kinda like the first time she woke up from her coma. tabula rasa. no attatchments. just herself#and that should be enough right?
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Unnamed Road - A Southland fanfic - John Cooper x F!OC
A new character presents itself: Jude, Izzy's brother. Also: jealous! Cooper, Izzy discovering where John lives annnnnnnddd in the next chapter we are going to have their first time.
Face claim: Melanie Laurent as Izzy, Morena Baccarin as Tess and Raff Law as Jude.
Enjoy :)
Izzy was spinning on the pole dance, distracted. `You okay?´ Tess asked smiling. `Yeah! It's awesome work! See? I got 50 dollars just because i´m running here!´ Izzy laughed.
Tess looked above and smiled. Izzy was not like her, who was in that kind of life because she had no other option. Izzy was just having fun. They continued talking until Izzy looked at the door.
`The fuck!´ She cursed and came down, running upstairs. `Izzy! Izzy!´ Tess called her friend, who did not answer. `What the fuck she is doing?´ Tess asked herself. One second later, a young boy called her.
When Tess looked at him, she immediately noticed that the boy hadn't age to be there. Average height, with a mess of rumpled curls and wide blue eyes, he and his friends looked curious to Tess.
`Hi, I´m Jude.´ The boy smiled `I´m the madame, the owner´ Tess replied `And you all´ she gestured to them `are going to get out of here´.
`Why?´ one of the guys asked `Why?! Kids in a brothel! You wanna fuck me. More than it already is!´
Tess expelled Jude and his guys of there, she had no idea that Jude was Izzy´s younger brother.
~
Ben was standing outside when he saw Jude Lambert leaving the brothel, upset and cursing Tess. `Jude!´ He called. `Ben!´ The guy replied `it's been awhile, bro!´. Jude said Tess had expelled him and his friends from there.
~
`Why the fuck you are hidden there?!´ Tess asked when she found Izzy hidden in one of the rooms "My brother is here!" Izzy answered, "Damn! What's his name?"
"Jude." Izzy explained "He is 17 years old, he can't be here!" The blonde spoke."He is blondie, blue eyes, just like me." At this very moment, Tess realized that the guy who spoke to her was the one. "Shit! He wanted to sleep with me!"
"Fucking Jude! I'm gonna tell mom!" Izzy cursed "Shit! I can't say anything!" She remembered that she couldn't say the fact to her mom, because no one had the idea that she was a prostitute.
"I was say this." Tess "You say your mom, you are fucked." Izzy cursed again "You don´t need to remember me."
"Keep calm."
~~
When Izzy came down, she went to the counter, ready to the pole again and make her presentation, when an arm held her. "Ben is outside" said a jealous Cooper "Your brother is there too. Your brother."
First, Izzy got surprised, but seconds after, she says "Leave me alone! You disappeared and left me without giving me what I wanted. Now I'm on my way! Get out of here!"
John looked at her and just left, his face like a devil.
~~
Days later, Jude, Izzy and their parents were going to dinner in a mansion. Ben´s family would be there too, and then Jude started to say. "Mom, you don´t know! Ben is dating a whore!"
`A whore´ was Tess.
Izzy got furious. “What is that, Jude? Ben Sherman dating a slut?” she asked, "That's it, mom.Ben is dating a girl who is making a living working in a brothel. haha!” Izzy saw her mother scared while Jude spoke and it reminded her that her younger brother went there. Shit she thought both because he went to the brothel and because he almost caught she working there.
~~
Later, while they were having dinner, Izzy was talking to Ben in another room. “Why do you allow them treat Tess like a whore? Why don´t you assume her?” she demanded. “It's complicated” he looked at her “And why don´t you stop working there? Jude could catch you. Imagine what'd happen if your parents knew?”
“Doesn´t matter” she replied “i´ve asked you first! Tess suffer because of you!” But Izzy knew that Ben was a whore. It wouldn´t solves. Her friend kept suffering and he had no plan to assume her.
“Izzy!” her mom called “you said you wanted to go home, and Ben needs to work early tomorrow. Why don´t you both go home together?” she looked at Ben “You could take Izzy to our home!”
They both looked at each other “All right. I´m taking Izzy” he replied “Thanks Ben” When they were in the car, Izzy teased. “Our families want us together” she laughed. Ben had her no attention and kept driving, then Izzy felt sleepy and minutes later, she fell asleep.
~~
Izzy woke up in the car, alone. “Ben?” she called. No answer. “Ben!” she opened the window “Ben!” Silence. She looked at her phone. 2:30 am. The door was locked and she, still sleepy, passed through the window. She walked to the door and knocked. “Damn! I left her sleeping in the car!” she heard Ben´s voice into the house. Suddenly, the door was opened violently. It was John.
“You…?” “Yeah! I´m live here!” he said, turning to Ben furious “Izzy, go to the car! We are going to your home!” Ben said, waving his hand. Something stirred inside Izzy but she paid no attention. Pretending not to see John, she said Ben she wanted to go home.
John wouldn't know what hit him.
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The road to peace
Summary: The meeting at the end of acowar, told from Jurian's perspective. (It`s like, 50% just the Fae getting roasted, really)
Note: I am extremely annoyed with how the humans are being treated in acotar in general and this is basically just me venting (with a bit band of exiles and some stuff with Jurian, Miryam and Drakon thrown in because I love all of them). I think Feyre and Rhys are... not handling the situation well, so this fic won't cast either of them in a favourable light. I am not tagging either of them and anyone who is really into them probably won`t like this.
Disclaimer: The exchange in the end is taken directly from acowar, chapter 80.
----
The meeting does not begin well. For some reason that goes right over Jurian`s head, the Night Court decides that they should hold the meeting in some destroyed manor over an hour away from the camp, yet they fail to take into account that not everyone can winnow. Meaning the humans have to walk. By the time they finally reach the manor, they are already late and Jurian had to talk Grayson out of turning around five times already.
“I put you on opposite ends of the room”, Feyre Archeron tells them.
She seems to consider it to be a favour, but it feels like an insult. Like they need to be separated from the other participants. Something tells Jurian that it`s not for their comfort, but because Feyre doesn`t want them close to her family and friends.
Jurian doesn`t bother with a reply. Neither does Grayson. They just exchange a quick glance and stride into the meeting room, heads held high. Jurian does not look at anyone in particular as he walks through the room and takes his seat. Only then does he allow himself to look around the room.
The room is crammed with people, but somehow, his eyes still go straight to her.
Miryam isn`t looking at him. Both her and Drakon appear deep in conversation with one of the High Lords – Tarquin. She looks so much like in his memories. Only her clothes are different. During the War, she always made sure to be dressed as elegantly as the Fae royals, even when she despised the dresses and jewellery – like she wanted to proof to them that she might be but a child by their standards, but she could still play their games. Now, she wears a simple tunic that makes her look like she either came straight from her camp without having time to change, or like she purposefully dressed to keep attention away from herself. If it`s the latter, it fails miserably.
Tarquin says something and Miryam smiles in return, tugging a strand of hair behind her ears. Her smile is still the same. It´s like a punch to the stomach.
Jurian doesn`t know how to feel, what to think. Just looking at her is enough to make the memories rise. Miryam smiling at him from across the meeting room. Leaning against him as they sit by the fire with his soldiers. Frowning as they study a map. But then, there are the less pleasant memories. Her crying, and the sinking feeling that it`s because of him. Shaking her head and backing away. I think I should leave.
The worst part is, Jurian can`t place the memories. He isn`t even sure if they are all real. And the only person who could tell him the truth will probably never speak to him again.
“I don`t know what impression you`re going for”, someone says from next to him, “but if you keep staring at your ex like that, it`ll be firmly in the “creepy” territory.”
Jurian forces himself to look away from Miryam and turn around to Queen Vassa who sits down on the chair to his right.
“Your Majesty”, he says and inclines his head.
“General”, she replies.
Before Jurian can tell her that he doesn`t think he holds this title anymore, Feyre Archeron steps forward to welcome them. Then, she tells her story. She talks of years in poverty, of the trials under Amarantha and how she found love in Prythian. Jurian honestly wonders what part of the story is supposed to reassure the humans. The one where she got kidnapped, tortured and killed by Fae? Or maybe how her Fae lover locked her up and how she only managed to find acceptance as a Fae. And how is her relationship drama even relevant to this meeting? Well, maybe she just wants to humiliate her former lover, who is stone-faced by the wall. Jurian smirks at the male, who growls softly in return. Jurian can`t say he pities him. After all, he knew his father during the War and he`ll only believe that the son is better when he sees proof.
By the time Feyre finishes her story, Jurian is barely listening anymore. He immediately jerks to attention, though, when Miryam and Drakon step forward. It seems like they`ll be the next speakers. Jurian isn`t sure what he hopes for. He supposes if they do tell the story, he`ll be the next to be publicly humiliated. But no matter how unflattering the story might be, at least it would give him something to sort his memories by.
As they begin to speak, though, Jurian quickly realize that, unlike Feyre, they don`t tell the stories of their lives. They gloss over anything personal, mention what went down with Jurian only in passing and instead tell a story about the seemingly impossible work of uniting their people. They talk of unforgivable crimes, amends that were made and the long road towards peace. Neither of them so much as looks at Jurian as they speak.
He supposes he should have known. In Prythian, it might be considered normal to let the personal bleed into the political, but rules are far stricter on the Continent. Even if Miryam and Drakon chose to settle matters between them, they would never do it during an official meeting. Besides, Miryam was never overly fond of telling the world her story.
When they sit down and Helion takes their place, Jurian makes himself listen to what the High Lord says. He doesn`t want to be like poor Grayson, who keeps staring at Elain Archeron with longing and fury written equally on his face whenever he thinks no one will notice. No, thank you. He very much plans to get through this meeting with his dignity intact.
Helion and a few others talk of the War and the friendships they made, too. Jurian considers getting up as well, but decides against it. He is still trying to sort through his memories, muddled by five hundred years of torment, and he isn`t entirely sure he could give an accurate account of anything. Or if he could manage to get through telling his story without breaking down.
Soon, the first humans step forward and begin to talk of the crimes the Fae committed against them. Entire villages slaughtered. The Treaty violated again and again. (Jurian could have told them of worse things – and he knows those accounts would pale against anything Miryam might tell – but this meeting is supposed to lead to peace, so he remains silent.) But then, the Fae begin to counter the human tales with ones of their own, about humans who treated them with mistrust. And somehow, these pointy-eared bastards manage to make it sound like their grievances are equal.
After a while, Jurian has had enough.
“Right”, he says, just loudly enough that every Fae in the room hears him, “Because humans trying to defend themselves against Fae is just as bad as Fae slaughtering entire human villages for fun.” He snorts. “If you want to get this to work, maybe you should start treating our lives as equal to your own.”
The humans nod along. Most of the Fae shoot him disapproving glances.
“I`m not surprised that you would say that”, one of the Fae hisses, “We all know your stance on Fae. The matter with Clythia -“
Jurian flinches at the name. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries hard not to think of her.
“Jurian merely stated that human and Fae lives should be treated equally”, Miryam cuts in, “Surely you don`t mean to contradict that.”
The Fae opens his mouth, then seems to consider who, exactly, he is speaking to. He squirms in his seat and quickly averts his eyes. Jurian grins. He tries to catch Miryam`s eye, but she refuses to look at him.
“Perhaps”, Rhysand says smoothly, “we ought to return to the true purpose of this meeting. The Wall is gone and it is up to us to find a way to shape this world.”
Jurian rolls his eyes. He wonders how Fae considering human lives and grievances to be unimportant is not relevant to the future of their world.
The discussion begins raging in earnest. Grayson outright refuses to trust the Fae on their word alone – the Treaty, he says, has been violated far too often, even with the Wall in place. Queen Vassa nods and adds that she is not about to leave her people at the mercy of any Fae who decide to make a meal out of them. It is a perfectly valid concern, yet somehow, half of the Fae manage to take offence at it.
It doesn`t take long for the first person to suggest another Wall.
“Might be hard”, Helion drawls, “Without being sure how the first one was created.”
Jurian can`t help it, his gaze flickers to Miryam. For the first time since the meeting started, she, too, is looking at him. Jurian smiles slightly and dips his chin. She nods back, then returns her attention to the discussion.
Drakon begins to explain why another Wall won`t solve their problems, just delay them. Patiently, he describes how they can only achieve lasting peace by having humans and Fae develop a way to life together and that dividing them will only make hate fester and, ultimately, lead to another war. The only way to overcome prejudice, he says, is by having people interact and teaching them about the other side.
Not everyone agrees with him. A few High Lords argue that a Wall would be the better alternative. They talk of security for the humans, but all Jurian hears is that they don`t want to bother with working for peace.
He promised himself not to, but Jurian still finds his gaze drifting over to Miryam, Drakon and their people. Drakon is frowning slightly and keeps flaring his wings in annoyance. Next to him, General Sinna, the commander of his Seraphim legion, keeps whispering with a human man who as far as Jurian knows is their armada`s commander. They both look torn between annoyance and amusement. Miryam`s face doesn`t betray anything, but she keeps scanning the room.
“I think we can all agree”, Feyre Archeron finally says, “that both sides have made mistakes. But it is time for all of us to move past them.”
For a few heartbeats, silence reins. Jurian finds himself staring at her open-mouthed. He can`t believe what he`s hearing and is about to say as much when Miryam beats him to it.
“Both sides have what?”, she asks softly.
Even after five hundred years, Jurian recognizes the look she gives Feyre. There is no mistaking the way her eyes seem to glow. In spite of the serious situation, Jurian grins. He once fell in love with Miryam for her kindness – but damnit, things get entertaining when she stops playing nice.
Feyre seems to realize that something is not going the way she planned. “I was just saying that both sides are to blame. No one is really innocent in this.”
“Then would you kindly explain to me”, Miryam says, and now, there`s nothing remotely friendly about her tone, “how I or any of the other fifty thousand slaves in the Black Land were to blame for what happened to us. Not to mention the hundreds of thousands of slaves in different territories, or the millions who came before us.” She sits up straighter in her seat. “Honestly, I`m curious. How did we deserve being beaten and tortured and killed? What was our crime? Beyond being born human, that is.”
Feyre suddenly finds her the sleeve of her dress in dire need of inspection. She begins fiddling around with it, looking increasingly uncomfortable. But of course, her mate jumps to her defence.
“You`re being unfair”, Rhys says.
Jurian nearly jumps from his seat, Drakon flares his wings so hard that he almost hits Tarquin in the face. It takes Jurian half a heartbeat to decide that Miryam won`t be happy at all if he punches that prick of a High Lord in the face. Across the room, Drakon seems to come to the same conclusion. He tugs his wings close to his body again and mutters an apology to Tarquin.
Rhys continues, “That`s not what Feyre meant and you know it.”
“Then perhaps she should choose her words more carefully”, Sinna hisses. She gives Rhys a look that usually sends her enemies on the battlefield running. Nephelle puts a hand on her arm.
Miryam looks around the room, nailing each person into place with her gaze. “I want peace, too”, she says, “I have only ever wanted peace. But just choosing to forget everything that happened is not the way to achieve that. The past still affects the present and pretending it doesn`t is stupidity. Especially for people who live as long as the Fae do.”
“Forgive me, Lady”, Kallias says. Jurian wonders if he`s purposefully using the wrong title, or if he genuinely does not know that it is common on the Continent for women to hold leading positions, and for married couples to rule together. Sometimes he forgets how annoying Prythian can be. “But did we not fight for your freedom in this very war?”
Jurian snorts softly. As if Hybern hadn`t invaded Prythian before it ever approached the human lands. They were fighting for themselves at least as much as for the humans.
“Yes, you did”, Miryam says, “And I know some of you fought in the War as well.” She pauses. “But tell me, High Lord, who do you think built the palaces you live in? That goes for all of you. Whose hands built your palaces and temples, whose blood paid for the gold in your troves?” She looks around the room. “Every single court in Prythian once owned slaves. Yet, no one ever so much as considered an official apology – not to mention paying reparations to the descendants of the people your ancestors exploited.” She shakes her head. “I`m not saying any of you are bad people. But if you truly believe that you deserve applause for not wanting to enslave us, then perhaps you should consider that you may be setting your bar a little low.”
“Thousands of years of history”, Thesan says says, “you cannot expect us to-“
“Who is talking about a thousand years?”, Grayson asks. Seems like he stopped staring at Elain Archeron long enough to focus on the conversation. “Ever since the Wall was built, Fae have been illegally crossing it and slaughtering humans. I`ve seen entire villages reduced to rubble. Yet not a single Fae lifted a finger to help us.”
“Nothing new, there”, Jurian supplies, “I have yet to see a Fae being punished for ending human lives. After the War, all these Loyalist commanders got away unscathed. Amarantha”, he nearly chokes on the name, “had every single one of her slaves killed, yet no one cared enough to see her punished.” He snorts. “Really shows how much you value our lives.”
At least the Fae now seem somewhat ashamed. Some of them are shifting around on their chairs, refusing to look at the humans. Feyre Archeron is still fiddling around with her dress. Unfortunately, she does not choose to remain silent.
“I, too, was once human”, she says, “I understand your struggles because they were mine as well. But hate and fear are not the way towards peace. We need to move past these things.”
Queen Vassa crosses her arms. “Didn`t you just tell us during your nice little story time that you started out hating Fae and only began to trust them after you saw proof they were better than you thought? And now you just expect us to do the same in one evening, without more than your word to go on?”
“That`s not what I`m saying at all”, Feyre snaps, “But humans, too, have their prejudices. As a human, I experienced first-hand the way the Fae treat us. But I have seen equal amounts of prejudice on the human side. I have seen the hate, the iron walls and ash arrows.”
Grayson lifts his chin and mutters something under his breath. His voice is too low for Jurian to make out words, but the tone makes it clear enough what he is saying. A reply is burning on Jurian`s tongue, but he swallows it. He knows how the Fae see him – his word would probably not help matters.
Again, it is Miryam who replies. “You`ll forgive me for saying this, High Lady”, she says, “but your experience with the Fae must have been pleasant indeed if you believe this to be a fitting comparison. You talk of prejudice. Well, I watched thousands of humans be slaughtered for no crime other than existing. I saw children get beaten to death just because they spilled a drop of water they were supposed to serve – and those were the lucky ones. When someone did something truly bad, you know, like stealing some rotten bread from the trash because none of us had eaten in five days, they drew out the punishment over hours. I…” She shakes her head and takes a deep breath. Drakon itches a bit closer, the movement barely noticeable. When Miryam continues, her voice is calmer. “I want peace as much as you do. Truly. I have spent most of my life working for it.” She turns back to Feyre. “But I won`t stand here and let you disregard thousands of years of human suffering.”
For a heartbeat, there is silence. Then, Rhysand lets out a soft growl. His power rumbles through the air. “Don`t you ever”, he says with cold command in his voice, “speak to my mate like this again.”
Drakon arches an eyebrow at him. Sinna leans in to Nephelle to whisper something into her ear, making the smaller female laugh softly. Jurian just leans back in his seat. This is about to get entertaining. Maybe he should have brought snacks.
“I spoke politely and I will continue to do so”, Miryam says, completely unfazed, “Since I am not one of your subjects, though, I would appreciate you not giving me orders.”
Rhysand`s power flares so hard that a few of the humans flinch back and one of the windows begins to rattle. Jurian rolls his eyes. If that is the Prythian version of politics, he can only hope for their sakes that they don`t ever go to the Continent. He can`t think of a single Continental ruler who would tolerate that behaviour.
“Are you having trouble controlling your power?”, Miryam asks softly, “In that case, taking a deep breath usually helps.”
Rhysand opens his mouth and closes it again. A few of the Fae are now trying to hide their laughter. Jurian grins. He hasn`t had such fun in… well, in a while.
“No”, Rhys finally growls and reins his power back in.
Silence follows. A few of the Fae exchange uncomfortable looks.
Finally, Mor laughs, perhaps a bit too brightly, and winks at Miryam and Drakon. “Well, seeing how difficult this meeting is, I`m twice as impressed that you got things working on Cretea.”
Drakon grins back. “If that`s any consolation to you, it took us quite a while.”
“And I can assure you”, Sinna mutters, “that we did not run around blaming the humans for being scared or try to make ourselves into the victims.”
A few people laugh. Most don`t.
“Having our people learn to live together”, Drakon says, much more seriously this time, “is the only way towards lasting peace. But every one here should be aware that this takes work and that the work will be mainly for the Fae to be done.” He inclines his head towards the human side of the room. “Humans are afraid, some angry, and rightly so. But that is not the problem we are facing, it`s the consequence.” He turns to the Fae. “Because the problem is that many Fae consider humans beneath them and have committed unspeakable crimes against them without punishment. This is what needs to be addressed and it`s why it`s up to us Fae to prove that we, as a people, have changed. Not through words, but action.”
“We now fought two wars for the humans”, Rhys says, “I`d say that`s plenty of action.”
Jurian considers banging his head against the wall. “Yes”, he says slowly, “Because your… brethren first enslaved us and then went to war to do it again – if this skirmish can even be called that.”
“And if you`re looking for actions you can take”, Vassa says, “then how about you start by stopping your people from entering our territory and killing us. Might be a good first step, you know.”
“Another Wall”, Thesan says, “would solve this problem.”
Drakon puts his head in his hands. “No”, he says, voice muffled through his fingers, “it would not.”
Jurian grins. He still isn`t entirely sure how he feels about Drakon (after all, he spent the most part of the last five centuries hating the male`s guts and is only now beginning to remember that there might have been a time when they were friends), but on this, they are in agreement.
“And how can you be so sure of that”, Beron drawls, “Suddenly became a seer?”
“No, but through the magical power of having studied these things, I can predict what consequences certain actions will likely have on society. In this case, though, I wouldn`t even need to have studied it, because it`s literally what happened last time.” Then, almost like he can`t help it, he adds, “Which I tried to warn you about back then already. So we can either try to get it right this time, or we`ll all meet here again in a few years.”
This, Jurian supposes, is where the argument might have ended. Had they been in a reasonable company, they now might have begun discussing how to actually solve these problems. Unfortunately, most Fae are not overly reasonable. So instead, another argument breaks out.
By the time Feyre Archeron finally declares the meeting to be over, Jurian has rolled his eyes so often he fears he may have pulled a muscle. She thanks them for their time and everyone gets up.
“That was fun, wasn`t it?”, Vassa asks, grinning broadly.
“Absolutely”, Jurian mutters. He stands up on his toes.
“She left already”, Vassa says, “By the way, constantly staring at your married ex-lover is kind of weird.”
Jurian glares at her. “It´s not like that. I just want to talk to her.”
“Do it, then. What`s the worst that could happen?”, Vassa asks. She frowns, then laughs. “Well, she could try to kill you again, I suppose.”
“She didn`t want to kill me”, Jurian mutters.
Vassa laughs and says, “Well, then you guys have a really strange way to discuss your break-up.”
Jurian feels his face beginning to burn. “It wasn`t about our relationship at all”, he says with all the dignity he can muster. Unless his old friends really changed in the past centuries, they would not react like this to a personal problem. But with him putting their people into danger… “It was about me sending Hybern after them.”
When he made the split-second decision to name revenge against Miryam and Drakon as his price to Hybern, he hadn`t considered what that might mean for them. The people who might have died if Hybern had managed to track them down and sent an army after them. Not to mention what might have happened if Miryam had been dead, as he first believed, and Hybern would have brought her back.
No, Jurian does not blame her and Drakon for being angry at all. And he still hasn`t figured out a way how to explain. He isn`t even sure he can put into words how he`s feeling about… well, everything.
“Well”, Vassa mutters, “I guess they can count themselves lucky. At least they didn`t get turned into birds.” Her tone is light, but there`s a bitterness underneath.
Jurian winces. “I never apologized”, he says, “for the role I played in that. They didn`t tell me what they had planned – I would have tried to stop them otherwise.”
Vassa waves him off. “You just did what you had to. I don`t blame you.” She winks. “I mean, I don`t think you are the traitorous piece of shit I first considered you to be.”
In spite of himself, Jurian laughs. “Well, thank you for the flattering compliment.”
“You`re welcome.” Vassa grins, then sobers up. “But there was something I wanted you to talk about. My general did not survive this battle. I have to find a suitable replacement before I have to… leave again.”
Jurian blinks. “And you`re asking me?”
It seems ridiculous. Why would anyone want him around, much less in a position of power? He isn`t even sure if he`s in any state to lead again.
“Who`d be better suited than the most legendary General in human history?”
“Oh, I…” Jurian hesitates. “Thank you.”
Vassa smiles again, but he doesn`t look happy at all. “You`ll look after my people, won`t you? When I`m gone.” She stares down at her fingers like she expects them to turn into claws again any moment.
“Is there no way to break your curse?”, Jurian asks.
She shrugs. “I had hoped Feyre Archeron might be able to help. That was before I found out that she got her title as Cursebreaker by solving a riddle, though.”
“I could ask Helion to look into it”, Jurian says, “He has over eight hundred years of experience. We knew each other during the War and as far as I know, he doesn`t hate my guts, so I might be able to get him to help you.”
“That would be great”, Vassa says.
“And you might want to talk to Miryam.”
“Why? Want me to put in a good word for me?”
Jurian groans. “First of all, don`t you dare. And no - she`s good with spells and doesn`t know the word impossible.”
“I might as well give it a try”, Vassa says. She sounds like she`s trying hard to not get her hopes up. “It`s not like I have many other options.”
Before Jurian gets the chance to reply, Lucien Vanserra appears next to them.
“Quite the meeting, wasn`t it?”, he says and nudges Vassa in the side. “I have to say, watching our dear Lord and Lady Night get their asses handed to them was quite enjoyable.”
Jurian nods his agreement. Looking around the room, he finds that they are now almost alone in the destroyed manor. Most of the others have left already.
“Do any of you know where Grayson and the others vanished to?”, he asks.
“Left already”, Lucien says.
“Oh, charming”, Jurian mutters. It seems like Grayson was so desperate to get away from Elain Archeron that he`d forgotten that they had arrived together. “I should probably go after them.”
He waves goodbye to Vassa and Lucien and makes for the door. However, he finds Feyre Archeron standing in the doorway, looking out into the dark. He is about to push past her when she says, “Where do you go now?”
Jurian pauses besides her and stares into the darkness, trying to make out Grayson and his men.
“Queen Vassa offered me a position in her court”, he says, not really willing to discuss this with Feyre.
“Are you going to accept?”
Jurian shrugs. He doesn`t know where else he would go – it`s not like he has any place he belongs anymore. And the offer was certainly an honour. But still-
“What sort of court can a cursed queen have?”, he asks, “She`s bound to that death-lord – she has to go back to his lake on the continent at some point.” And he knows what that would mean, what she`d expect. He just isn`t sure if he can lead the humans again after everything that happened. It should be someone else – Vassa herself, preferably. “Too bad the king was so spectacularly beheaded by your sister. I bet he could have found a way to break that curse of hers.”
“Too bad indeed”, Feyre mutters.
Jurian grunts in amusement.
“Do you think we stand a chance?”, Feyre asks, motioning in the dark to something Jurian`s human eyes can`t make out. “Of peace between all of us?”
Not with attitudes like the one you displayed at that meeting, Jurian thinks. But she looks so hopeful, so young, that he doesn`t say it. Besides, does he truly think that they don`t stand a chance?
He thinks back to the meeting. The humans who came in spite of the history and held their own against the Fae. Miryam, Drakon and their people who already achieved what they are now trying to do five hundred years ago. And if he`s being honest, there were several Fae who were willing to try, too. They might have argued, but at least they took the first step towards peace.
“Yes”, he answers softly, “I think we do.”
After all that suffering, they would certainly deserve it.
----
Another note: What I've written is canon compliant, but I've added certain things. Some of the implications I make about characters fit with the story I'm writing about the War (although everyone gets along significantly better back then, and Rhys is not that much of an ass yet)
Tags: @sjm-things @herpowerisdeath @clolikescloquetas @sunsummoner
#jurian having fun watching shit go down#the Fae are being bashed#rightfully so#miryam and drakon are done with everyone's shit#everyone in prythian is horrible at politics#miryam may not be overly fond of Jurian but she likes entitled Fae assholes even less#jurian#miryam#drakon#vassa#band of exiles#grayson
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I came, I saw, I (little bit) konquered 💪
First of all: apologies for this mega massive post! 😂
But I wanted to fit everything in one, so that´s the way it has to be!
Big thanks to lovely Stockholm for being a very gracious host and taking such good care of this world-weary traveler! Let´s start off with some general sights before getting down to the nasty business of Mars!
I have to say that seeing those posters for the 1st time in the flesh made me quite giddy indeed...
BUT NOW! On to the main event...
The M&G took place a few hours before the show, and arrangements were top grade, gotta give props when props are due!
These two ladies were really lovely and seemed like PROS at what they do and yet POLITE towards us even tho this was probably the 3000th M&G they were handling. I have no complaints!
We were escorted to a small meeting room type of area right next door to the stage area, and at first I figured I wasn´t even gonna bother fighting the hoards for the 1st row seats, but then I heard Reni saying there was one spot left - and I leaped into action.
At the M&G room Reni explained the rules and game plan for the evening. No personal/private questions, no simple yes/no questions, no groping during the pics, no running to the concert area (there were near-catastrophic incidents in Prague some days ago, some girls ran like cray and tripped and fell and created a domino effect and it was a mess...) and so on. 🙄
Reni asked us who has listened to the album (most raised their hands) and who has not listened to the album (me and few others raised ours... Hihi...), and what people´s fave songs were.
Then we got back to talking about the potential questions again, and she encouraged people to ask about the new album (*COUGH* REMEMBER THIS LATER AS YOU READ ON *COUGH*), or if you want advice etc.
Not that I cared much anyway, but seeing as she did not seem to touch upon “that topic” at all, I decided to try my luck and asked:
“What about the “elephant in the room”?” 🐘
The room fell silent and there were some dramatic “Oooooooh´s” coming from my fellow VIP peeps.
Reni´s face went serious and she quietly said “No”, as was fully expected.
I pressed on.
“How come?”
Reni: “Because we would rather... It´s a personal matter. Of the band.”
Me: “So we´re never gonna get any explanation?”
Reni: “It´s a personal matter... And until he doesn´t decide... It´s not in our...”
And that was it! That´s the explanation I managed to squeeze out! Sorry, guys! I tried, but... 😞
I´m totally not the only one who reads that to mean that IT WAS TOMO´S OWN DECISION TO WALK AND IT´LL BE HIS DECISION IF/WHEN HE COMES BACK, right?! And that the band has no say in it, and they have no clue if and when the situation gets resolved?! Right?!
UGH! 😠
Then Reni went on to explain that if someone was there specifically to meet TM, they could get a refund but they would have to leave immediately.
Total bs “offer” because there ain´t NO ONE coming to these things just to meet TM, but whatever... I did contemplate if I should ask for a partial refund because I only got partial Mars, but chose to let it slide. Not even worth it.
One guy in the audience commented “Good question”, so I guess I wasn´t alone with my queries! It may have been Gustavo, I dunno.
Before the band came in, people kept busy by asking the crew a few questions.
And at this point I would like to offer a MEA CULPA and sincere apologies to the person/persons who I battled with some weeks ago when Reni´s home land was a topic. See, as luck would have it, one of the VIPs asked the staff where they were from, and Reni said “I´M ORIGINALLY FROM MEXICO”, so yeah... Haha! I giggled quite a lot... Sorry, anon/anons! I was indeed wrong! Shayla said she´s from NYC, Inaki also from Mexico and Diana (I think that was her name...?) from Brazil.
Shayla mentioned that she is kinda jetlagged. Reni said she´s usually pretty good with it.
Then they plugged Camp Mars (a few people had no idea what Camp Mars even is...) and lured us to buy with big promises of hangings with the band during the most magical weekend of the year.
“The band is also there all day.”
Reni also inquired if people would be interested in attending Camp if they by some miracle happened to arrange it in Europe. Most people were eager, no surprises there.
Someone asked if Camp could be arranged earlier in the summer, and Reni said no because the Malibu Camp site is occupado until August.
Another one asked if Camp is getting bigger, to which Reni replied that “It´s getting better. I would not say it´s getting bigger because the number of people for the past 2 times has been exactly the same, which is 200.”
So there we have it. An official number.
Well, as official as these people are ever gonna admit, anyway... 🤷
Then we voted for our fave songs from the new album. “GWO” won.
(I voted Tabasco. 🤗)
Someone wanted to know if they were gonna play “GWO”, and Shayla said nope because they have not rehearsed it.
Of course not! 🤷
Then we swiftly moved on to the “Kumbaya” moment of the evening where Reni asked if someone knows how to sing, and some dude said yeah, so he came up front and started singing WoW.
Now this is just my opinion, but sitting there listening to an almost Sunday church-like hysterical pathos... Worshipers partying and yelling out the lyrics as if God himself was within hearing distance...
I did not know I needed that in my life. 😱
Then Reni we needed to “make some noise so they´ll come faster”.
Is... is that what VK does too? 🤔
I dunno, but we did.
It did not help. 😴
To kill even more time, we did the obligatory “Where is everyone from?” round. I stayed silent. Surprisingly it seemed like almost half of the peeps were non-Swedes! The woman next to me was also from Finland. Wooooop!
Someone asked if the band is gonna do festivals, and Reni listed some upcoming dates. I don´t know why people don´t GO ONLINE to find out this stuff, but... 🤷
The crew also mentioned they have days off on occasion, Helsinki was mentioned as one of their days off, which kinda maybe means that the band will be arriving tomorrow and hanging for a whole day before the gig on Wednesday... Uuuuuuh!
Then all of a sudden...
DOORS FLUNG OPEN AND ANGELS SANG PRAISES! 🎺
Well no, it was just echies screaming and clapping. 🙏
JL and SL sneaked in from the stage area and the masses of course went bananas.
I still sat in silence and watched. 👀
The bros had a table and chairs, but never sat down. Instead they stood and placed one foot ON THE CHAIR, as all civilized peeps do.
JL asked if anyone was at the previous gig, and mentioned that it has been a really small show, but this one would be the smallest (arena holds max 3500 people). Last night apparently was “INCREDIBLE”, one of the better shows on the tour.
For some reason (pffft...) he spotted some German chicks who I guess were twins or smthg, I wasn´t really paying attention. Anyway, he mentioned “We always need more twins in our lives”.
Echies naturally giggled because OMGGGGGGGG HILAAAARIOUS, and JL went on to explain that “Hey our grandfather had a twin”.
SL quipped that maybe he or JL will have twins, and JL mentioned that he and JR argued about the twin gene skipping a generation or smthg like that. 🙄🙄
Then he spotted some chick in the front row who had big muscles (no she did not btw) and asked her if she´s a trainer or smthg. JL mentioned that he just recently started working out again so he keeps looking at muscles.
Uh huh. 🙄🙄🙄
On/off SL gave looks around the room, and I got some too. He did not smile, not even a crack. Meh.
THEN IT WAS FINALLY Q AND A TIME!!! 🙏 😈
Some dude asked how hard it is to get a workout on the road.
SL said the recovery is the most challenging part. I guess he meant recovery from the shows.
JL says the 2 hours on stage are the hardest, and then the rest of the time should be spent by doing nothing.
That last part might be more familiar to some in the band than others... 🤔
Some woman from Ohio, USA was picked and I guess she yammered on about herself a bit too long because JL interrupted her speech with a very stern “QUESTION!” (we all know that tone... Hihi!), and she asked if there were any “Aha!” moments when making the album.
I suppose she did not mean “Aha! We totes should wrap this whole shit in Americana even tho it has fuck all to do with it!”...
SL said the 1st thing that comes to mind is “Rescue Me”. Apparently they´ve had that song for 10 years and have had people help them work on it (WHOOOO?!), and the last person they worked on it with caused them to have an “Aha!” moment when they realized they were actually going to finish it.
I´m sure we all share that amazement...
JL said he remembered sitting down during TIW in his home in Fredonia (his old home) with a synthesizer and the verse and the chorus are still the same. Lyrics have changed. The chorus used to just be “Rescue me, rescue me” without anything else, and 5 years later he was sitting on a plane and the current chorus started forming in his head. The song used to have a “pre-chorus” too. “He said” or “She said” (I could not make out which, or maybe both) before the main chorus.
He said the lesson in that is to never give up because you never know what can happen. Sometimes songs happen quickly, like “A Modern Myth” which he said he wrote in 5 minutes, and SL wrote “Remedy” fairly quickly. Finishing songs usually takes him longer than coming up with a song.
Next guy asked about creative differences between Album 1 and Album 5.
JL said you can still hear the same band on both albums.
(GIVE OR TAKE A FEW BAND MEMBERS, MAYBE... 🙄)
He listed all the elements the new album features. He said he thinks a song like “Echelon” could totally be on the new album.
Next up a woman who said she was studying to be in the music business asked what she could do to make sure no other artist has to deal with what Mars had to deal with (lawsuit etc.).
JL´s advise: Don´t sign a record deal unless you absolutely have to. Spread your music via social media and other platforms.
(I know he was talking about EMI specifically, but I could not help thinking there might have been some Interscope crumbs in there too...)
The woman clarified that she meant more from the music label/business side and not the artist side. Jl responded “Go work for Spotify”. He went on to say that record companies and people can be great too, but the deals are the problem. They should be transparent and available online. It´s the last kind of “gangsta business” where you can really take advantage of people.
Some dude mentioned that he saw Mars 11 years ago when they opened for Linkin Park in Europe. JL remembered that tour, SL did not.
I guess he asked what it feels like to go from there to here (I wasn´t really listening because meeeeeh), and SL tried to come up with smthg intellectual and deep but it just sounded so ridiculously pathetic it´s not even worth mentioning. Smthg about just living and maturing and evolving as human beings. 💤
He also said they are really fortunate to still be together as a band (*SNORT*) because lots of bands from back then don´t exist anymore.
JL said this feels like a new and fresh chapter. Like his inner child. Like a reboot. Like they just got a facelift (HOLD YOUR LAUGHS, PLEASE). The new songs live are apparently “pretty INCREDIBLE”.
“I know some people are like “Where´s the guitar?” and “Where the heavy music?” but I think it´s still pure 30 StM.”
He also called the new album very dark and “lyrically on point”.
His point might be somewhere waaaaaay off the playing field tho, but...
Some chick with pink hair was up next and JL said he was gonna dye his hair pink but now he can´t.
SL said dyeing wrecks your hair and JL said his hair can´t take another bleaching.
And yes, you guessed it, folks. Fangirl giggles and swoons galore!
Her actual question was about Mars music feeling ancient or smthg, again I was totally not even paying attention because I DON´T CAAAAARE. Sorry but these questions were fucking USELESS. 👎
Anyway, SL blabbered on about them being from an “old place”. JL said everyone has missed the point that they made the album by using modern American sounds like Hip Hop and Pop etc. and that WoW is a giant political FUCK YOU.
Except not too long ago he gave that interview to a Finnish journo and specifically banned political questions, but okay... 👌
He said it´s exciting to see people from different countries singing that song with so much passion that sometimes he almost feels like they need to escape through the back door (he was kidding).
Next that same guy who sang during the pre-M&G stood up and congratulated the band on the new album. JL in return congratulated the guy on his hair (= a poofed up semi-mullet kinda thing) and they chatted a bit about his hair. Soooo riveting... 😫
The dude said one of his fave songs is “Convergence” and he asked about spirituality or smthg. Again, not interested...
JL said the last album was only 7 songs and the rest were fillers (well he didn´t say fillers but I´m saying it), and this new one is 11 songs and only 1 filler.
While JL was still yammering on his response to the mullet dude, I made my move and raised my hand HIIIIIGH - and when he finally finished his looooong sermon JL turned my way and...
Oh uh! It's Go time! 😱
⚠️ Little background info first! ⚠️
I obviously had thought of a few questions before coming to the M&G, just to prepare for the off-chance an opportunity might present itself. My options ranged from "Why did you call us Screaming Fat Girls?" to "Why did I have to pay 400 for this when 20 yo models get it for free?" and beyond. Yes I even toyed with the idea of sneakily slipping VK into the mix... 🙃
But sitting there as the M&G went on and listening to the other questions and studying the room's vibe, I started feeling my questions were all... wrong. They started feeling like I would just be purposely asking for trouble and causing a stink and potentially ruining the event, which was not my intention at all.
I started feeling like I needed to ask smthg current, smthg that has relevance in this day and age, smthg that hopefully gave us some answers to the questions we have been pondering about on the blog, smthg that would make you peeps proud, smthg that would not be a waste of a question - and yes, smthg that maybe poked a little hole into his massive ego at the same time! 🤔
So with all that criteria in mind, I went into battle...
Me: "Hi, speaking of the album, have you read or heard the reviews? Because some of them were... not very kind...?
JL: "This newest album?"
(NO DUMMY I WANNA KNOW IF YOU READ THE REVIEWS FOR THE ALBUM YOU RELEASED IN 2002!!! 🙄🤦♀️)
Me: "Yeah."
JL, staring right at me, with the snarkiest and bitchiest voice and most passivest aggressivest demeanor:
"Well thanks for bringing that up."
😱😱😱
His reaction both in words and in vibe (and the reaction from the room aka loud gasps, few hisses and cheers after he "lashed out" at me) was worth all the money I paid for that M&G, I don't even mind telling you!
SL also chimed in with “Yeah, thanks for bringing that up” but at that moment I was so focused on JL´s face that I completely ignored SL´s whining and existence - not to mention that every single molecule inside me screamed “HALLELUJAAAAAAAAH!”
So yeah basically I just sat there going...
While he stared at me throughout that little exchange, he most def could sense the snark in my question, and I most def could sense the snark in his reply. Naaaw... Just a couple of petty snarks sharing a moment... 🤣🙊😍
#BucketList ✔
I guess that is what an orgasm of the mind feels like. ☺
And btw...
"Thanks for bringing that up"?
Honey, with the amount of shit we have on you, you should be very #Grateful I only brought THAT up! 🤨
Anyway, the room kinda “erupted” with little gasps and hollers and whatnot, and after that initial "explosion" SL took over and started "grilling me" about my choice of question.
"That's your question? You wanna know if we read and what´s our response to the bad reviews?"
I replied “Yeah, I wanna know”.
SL said he had not read any.
Okay, but... Why did you just jump on my throat about that topic then...?
He continued that everyone has opinions and tastes and attitudes and personalities and colors (???) and stuff... He said he can´t pay attention to it, he can only focus on what he did and the band did, and he feels great about it. He said he is secure in himself and his “bro”, as he called JL.
Then JL took over and in a very explanatory manner (calm voice this time) said that these days everyone is a critic. He said on social media any person´s opinion is as important as a reviewer´s. He also said he thinks a lot of the criticism revolves around the “Where is the rock?” argument, and that they are probably right.
“It´s not a rock album.”
Followed by a LOOOOONG silence.
A silence which was only interrupted by SL going “Well, there you go!” in a triumphant manner. Echies of course applauded, and then suddenly JL picked up again:
“Don´t be fooled, we knew EXACTLY what we were doing. But let me just tell you something: we have NEVER gotten good reviews. Even when we made rock albums. So... Nothing really changes...”
At this point it again felt like he was getting ready to move on, but NO! He still kept going!
“I have a feeling lot of it has to do with me...”
That Gustavo dude piped up with “Jealousy...”, but JL ignored that comment and continued:
“It just has to do with me being in the band... I don´t think people wanna let that slide...”
SL commented “Fucking weird...” and then after a short silence went “Great” in the most “NON GREAT” way imaginable. Kinda like when you spill juice all over yourself and go “Great”.
So with that “NON GREAT” “GREAT”, this topic was now finished and my time in the spotlight was over.
I will point out that while pretty much everyone who asked a question before me got a “Thanks for the question” comment, I did not...
😭😭😭
*
BEFORE WE MOVE ON - QUICK ANALYSIS ON MY Q AND HIS A:
I think what we learned here are 3 things:
1. Poor SL really thinks he contributed to this album and has reason to be proud. 🤷♀️
2. JL is indeed VERY aware of the bad reviews and backlash his latest offering brought him. 😭
3. JL is also aware of the "bad rep" he has. Not just for the "Oh he's an actor trying to be a singer" thing which he has battled since Day 1 (which I'm sure he was mostly alluding to), but also that currently (= after SS) he gets ridiculed and judged on a whole new level.
I mean, the way he almost dragged the topic on and felt like he had to add “just one more thing”... Kinda felt like he was trying to convince not just us but himself as well... 🤨
Anyway, feel free to send feedback and thoughts on this! Did I do good?! 😜
*
Okay back to the M&G!
The next person asked what would they say to their younger selves.
JL wouldn’t wanna say anything because “We’re in a pretty good place right now in life and career… I guess I’d say "Take a deep breath… It’s gonna be alright. Don’t pay attention to the reviews.”“
Ooooooh... Still feeling butt-hurt from the previous Q, are we… ? 😏🤭
The next Q was asked with such a heavy-accented English I had NO IDEA what he asked, but apparently JL did because he managed an answer. It was smthg about the Mars symbols (the triad). 🤷🏼♀️
The next chick started off my saying "I just wanna say I love you and adore you” and I almost yelped out “MR. KAUFMAN IS ALREADY TAKEN!” but managed to keep my emotions in check.
Her question was a pretty good one: “Why did you come up with the name "Monolith” for the tour", she said she (like all of us!) did not get it.
JL said the name comes from the giant screen on stage and the giant box thing as well, which of course for this tour they could not fit through the doors.
Next question was “Why did you call the album "America” when it talks about universal issues?“
JL: "I think the idea of America is universal (FUCK OFF ALREADY DICK IT SO IS NOT) and everyone has an opinion (WANNA KNOW MINE?) and the songs are universal. I think what’s going on in our country is probably going on in other countries. I don’t think we’re the only country thinking about things like immigration, the right and the left, what kind of a world we want to live in, what kind of a future we want. I just thought it was an interesting time and an interesting word. It really isn’t political title, it’s more of a concept (🙄🙄🙄), that’s why I liked all the lists that we came up with because they were so bizarre and funny and provocative. They do give you a sense of the time we’re living in.”
He went on to say that in 100 years people will be able to look at them and go “Oh, that was that crazy group if people that was alive between this time and that time and that fucking guy was president in America!”
Oh my! Look who’s getting all feisty again! Dare you to say that publicly tho!
During this question the noise from the soundcheck taking place in the next room went up a few notches and Stevie´s high-pitched screams almost overpowered the Letos... They made some jokes about SA´s screams. 😂
And of course he kept with the “The name “America” inspired the film that we made that´s coming out later this year, the trip across the country... Did anybody follow it on social media? (I MAY HAVE...) The Museum of America in LA and many other things that we´ve done. I dunno, I just thought it was an interesting container.”
In relation to the previous question, JL also mentioned that he had an alternative title for "America" which he admitted (?) he sometimes thinks he should have used:
“ERA”.
As in this era we are now living in.
YOU GOD DAMN DILL!!!!! THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN 40 GAZILLION TIMES BETTER THAN "AMERICA"!!!!!
🤬🤬🤬
I seriously almost screamed out loud when he said that... I can't even deal with him! 😠
He said that title would have been “a little more global but a little more boring”.
NO, DILL! YOU AND YOUR BEDWARMERS ARE GLOBAL AND BORING! THAT TITLE WOULD HAVE BEEN PERFECT!
😠
The last question came from a woman next to me (fellow Finn btw! 😃🇫🇮) who told us that she's a teacher and she asked what inspires them etc.
JL said that “sometimes I´m not inspired” (REALLY? Never would have guessed...) and that “at that point you just have to rely on muscle memory and to just put one foot in front of the other and keep marching forward... Someone asks a question you don´t like (WHO?! WHO ASKED A QUESTION YOU DID NOT LIKE?! 🙊), you deal with it... You have to do some part of your job that´s tedious (like... the actual working part?), you push past it... I think a lot of times it´s just showing up... You can surprise yourself. You start a conversation, you start a concert, and before you know it you´re lost in the concert and you´re enjoying your time.”
SL said what helps is “getting rid of the fucking trash in the head. If I feel distracted or there´s a lot of stuff going on in my head that doesn´t have anything to do with what I wanna do, I have to get rid of it. Meditation helps, hanging out with cool people (LOOOOOOOOL), yoga, taking a walk...”
And that was it! Show over! JL thanked us for coming and then...
Picture time! 📷
We lined up in the hallway and practically RAN through the stage they had set up for the pic.
Seriously it was RIDICULOUS! Felt even faster and more North Korean than in Getafe! We all legit had no more than 2 seconds to pose and then we were pushed out! 😑
Total bs. No other way to put it. Treated like actual cattle. 🐄
Anyway, I had a plan ready again and as I stepped up to SL who kinda "yanked me" between him and JL (not in a bad way but just kinda like "let's just get this over with FAST"), I said to them:
"Okay guys, let's smile like I'm a model."
🤭🤭🤭
Now, I don't know if they heard me or bothered listening (or in "someone's" case even understood what I was hinting at), but it def made me feel giggly... 😜
Anyway, end result is this:
I think JL may have gotten what I was implying, or perhaps he was still salty about my earlier question, but he def pushed my back to get me to leave the area after the pic. 🤷🏼♀️👉🚪
Altho he probs does that to everyone, especially those who are not 20-smthg Russian models, but… Oh well. Kinda made me smirk even more! 🤣
Or perhaps it was my shirt which ruffled his feathers? 🤔
Wanna see a close-up?
BOOM.
Tell you this much: online T-shirt printing businesses and 20€ sure provide a lot of satisfaction. 😏👕💳
And even tho I once again got only 20 Secs (Jfc… 😂), I still managed to sneak TM into my pic, sooo… 😎💁🏼♀️
More closeups:
Thanks GOD he looks more than decent in mine!
And c´mon now, Jarry. I think we all know you can go bigger than that.
Jaw seems to work a-ok...
And yes, I watermarked them because that´s how I roll, homies!
After the pics we were given our VIP merch: black beanie (not bad! I might actually wear that…), plastic badge (who the fuck needs these?!), a canvas tote bag (meh ok) and a signed poster.
TRY TELLING ME BOTH THOSE SIGNATURES ARE NOT FROM THE SAME DAMN ALMOST-WORN-OUT PEN… 😂😒🖋
We were also allowed to stay in the M&G room and check out the official merch stand (pffffft! Did not buy a fucking thing as everything looked so uggo).
This tho...
After about an hour of waiting, we were finally led into the actual concert area. As some of you saw from my IG posts, this was not a regular MonolOth tour gig, but more a club gig. The set was completely different, no monolOth anywhere, and stage was not in the middle of the room.
I noticed there was a balcony area too and I marched up to a security guy to ask if it was ok to go up. He said yeah but only 100 people are allowed up so I needed a special ticket, which he then handed me and told me I needed to give it back if/when I came down again so someone else could use my place up there. Very smart security move!
Being as tiny as I am and as claustrophobic as I am, I knew standing in a sea of people and not even seeing a fucking thing was not a viable option, so I chose to wander up to the balcony - and oh man, that was the best decision I could have made! I scored a prime spot right up front and had full “skyview” of the whole room! Lucky move also because without the balcony spot, that IG Live would have been quite difficult to pull off…😏😄
JR’s DJ set was about as useful as sledgehammer when washing windows, so there’s no need to even discuss it. Literally maybe 7 people actually listened and cheered him. 😴
At around 8:40 pm the lights FINALLY dimmed and the show started.
Now, seeing as I did an IG Live for the whole show which means I did not take any pics or clips (I´ll try posting some of the clips I saved from the IG Live a little later on tho), I’m going to utilize a few fellow concert goers offerings here for vibe and atmosphere reasons! 😉
And of course we can NEVER forget the true star of the night...
A post shared by Jared Leto ∆ Echelon page (@dy.jovi) on Apr 24, 2018 at 1:18am PDT
A post shared by Jared Leto ∆ Echelon page (@dy.jovi) on Apr 22, 2018 at 1:11pm PDT
NOT ALL HEROES WEAR CAPES. OR SHIRTS. 🤣 🕺
As far as overall grade for the show goes…
Well, the people who came on my Live on/off and witnessed the gig with me can probably kinda agree that… eh… It wasn’t very awesomely great. 😣
The stage looked stupid with just SL’s drums, SA was once again shoved to the side where we could barely see him (but could hear him plenty!), the sound overall was kinda off (or maybe it was because of my location, but the drums sounded REALLY loud at times, almost drowned out rest of the instruments. Altho… what instruments? 🤔)…
But the biggest problem of all: Jared’s voice.
It’s fucking DESTROYED, guys. GONE.
Yes on some songs he sounded ok, even quite good on occasion. But overall, he cannot do a full show like a proper rock singer should.
And true to form, he skipped out on a lot of the lyrics (either he let SA sing, or the audience had to sing), and when he did sing (“sing”) he sounded BAD. Multiple times extremely off key and basically just shouted/screamed his way through the songs. There is no way on earth that anyone with ears could claim he sounded good!
Sheep would try no doubt, but lemme tell ya: Lies! Lies, lies, lies!
I think the only song which sounded at least half decent was “Stay”. It’s not a very challenging song anyway, so that one he still manages ok. Everything else… uh. 🙉
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But it is what it is, I guess... Can´t turn back the clock and undo years of damage!
And that yelling is not helping what little he has left...
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I did enjoy JL calling me and my fellow upstairs residents “BALCONY MONKEY MOTHERFUCKERS” tho. 🐒
Been called worse before! HA! 😂
Overall I would say that had I not had the IG Live peeps keeping me company throughout the show, I would have been majorly bored. There really was nothing even remotely interesting happening on stage (not counting Naked Dancing Dude!), and traveling across an actual ocean just for that show...
Not really worth it, gotta say.
If someone asks me if I would recommend buying a ticket, I would have to say no - based on the actual show, I mean. it just really does not offer any great “WOW” moments.
But on a personal level and by taking into account the WHOLE experience, counting the entire weekend etc., I will rank this as one of my better vacays for sure! And a big part of that is thanks to ALL YOU who joined and shared it with me, so THANK YOU! 💗
Report over and out!
#30 Seconds To Mars#sweden#yeehaw#jared leto#shannon leto#duo#i like bringing things up#you should know that by now
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A dream:
Going deep into my own mind now that I have woken up just to remember my experience in the world beyond, an oniric plane is sometimes called.
It happened in places I used to transit a lot when I was in high-school and uni. It was on a street that connects to a interstate road, somewhat transited, I am at a little mall, there is about a super market and a few other stores, the feel, the ambiance is similar, it is the night, there is absolutely empty, there are no details in anything, but is the place or my memory of it, there is just a small main pass which is where I am walking through, it forms at first like an rect-line shaped S, from a topview perspective, walking is just like a go left then right situation, so I do the then there is a small forum, with some seats also empty and the other side of the stores, then following that "right" pass that we get on it extends far more until the end of the building with some others small stores closed or empty until I reach a dining room where there are fast food stores, pizzas, hamburgers, sandwiches, subways "tortas", etc. These are closed as well, I stay around the tables for a bit than some people join me first a girl, then a couple then a man, they are old... friends that I have never seen in this life, but I feel some familiarity in these faces, at first I think a couple, are my parents, it feels like that, but the more I interact with them it feels like they aren't, they are just similar in the libidinal energy they flow with, or its management.
We go to the supermarket to buy somethings none important, it happens but I don't remember any other people, we go to their car, it is a van? mini-van? is not big but not small either, plenty of space for us five, there are no names, not even mine. As we approach the car and get out of the mall we all see the starts, the nightsky, it is flooded by this little things like jellyfish and birds, they are just floating around like dandelion seeds flowing with the wind, sometimes they move, they are alive, sometimes they are just placidly falling and floating, they have this bright luminescent color, they are of all bright shades of blue, it is a beautiful spectacle to perceive and we all stay watching amazed at them, however this sightings are rather normal so we get into the car a while after that.
I am in the backseat just in the middle of a couple, a girl of black hair and a dude whom I can't remember his face. In the front there is the guy driving he is the oldest of us all, and his girlfriend a brownish to redhead girl, they are discussing a lot, the ambiance is really heated and I am just there watching the road in silence with my other quiet companions in the back, they are looking disinterested at the sides of the car through the windows, nothing is happening I am not aware of myself I am just existing there and then... we crash.
Next thing I remember everyone is feeling bad, anxious, we are not in the car anymore we are all on the street that connects to the road, on the sidewalk again empty and dark on a corner, it is just us although some car pass on a perpendicular street at a top velocity.
They all start discussing I am still quiet, I am still thinking about what happened, because I can't understand it, I ask "Did we died?" There is a silence and everyone looks down. - We didn't die, says the brunette chick - But we killed a lot of people. - Yes and it all his fault - Says the girl with the brown hair pointing at the old man that is her couple, then in rage she begins explaining what happened as they were arguing we changed the path we were on, we took another path maybe it was our destination I don't quite know, we went to the right into some street then we lost control of the car, of the machine, or rather the friend driver and we stumbled into a building a kind of factory, the thing is that it was within a residential zone, probably everyone was sleeping, it exploded and we killed everyone, none of us know how did we get here where we are now... but everything feels a bit odd.
The brunette seems to read my mind, years have passed since then, 30 maybe? I guess, that's what she says in a absolute air of despair, I feel it, I feel her, I feel everything she is felling right now, the anguish, the uncertainty the uncommensurable guilt. I almost cry, but she, she is just there with a dead sight on me, reading me knowing I know how she feels, because she can feel herself in me, she doesn't know what any of this means, but I do, and I take my ground again, I stand up and take the lead.
Blaming the old bald man will solve nothing, actually nothing we can do can solve what we did, I begin to remember time, for them this have been 30 years, they have been living with what they did for 30 years, for me it is just a matter of seconds for one instant to the other, as if those 30 years didn't happened to me... maybe they didn't. They don't look any older tho, but everyone looks damaged and tired compared to how we were when I met them in the plaza.
I don't say anything but my certainty calms everyone, we begin to walk back to the plaza, on that same straight street. As we walk the brunette talks to me she tells me "you know, there were 150 people that we killed" I don't say anything but I feel what she means by that, she can handle the blood on her hands, that's why she remembers the number so precisely, so she knows her debt of death. I look back at her the look in my eyes tell pain and hope, I don't say anything but she understands.
The walk feels endless we stop for a bit the couple is no longer fighting, the other guy also with a black hair and white skin is just quiet, is like if he isn't there anymore, but that is just an automaton. I don't care about him, the other girl the brunette is in pain still but she is no longer dominated by it, I sit with my ginger friend and the automaton while the others go to a little store that is close by I tell her I am lost about the brunette girl, that I know there is something and she knows as well but I don't know how to cut our breach, they know each other for a way longer time that I do, she the ginger was with the brunette in her child and teen ages, they are friends since then, I know this, but I didn't think about it, would you help me? (I think). The others come back with some food and we all sit or stand to eat on the sidewalk, its quiet for a bit then we begin talking and laughing like in the old days, this feels good, and while we approach the end of that chapter we begin to stop our chatting, in the not awkward silence, my ginger friend tells me about a song its in my mind and it plays for us on a device, not for me tho because I didn't remembered. "Los malaventurados no lloran" A song from their teen ages, the brunette feels it, and the bond between she and her friend grows in strength once more, but this time I was the one who did it, she sees me, I am now in her memory of that song. Our breach is closed.
We finally arrive to our destination, I just remembered I had a bubblegum in my mouth all this time, we get to the outside part of the mall where there is like a little plaza and seats adorned by some trees, I see the sky, is normal, is has been like that for 30 years, just black with the sporadical stars, like you would see normally in a night of this physical world, but that didn't used to be the normal in that one, the "dandelions" disappeared after I did and we killed all those people in their sleep. I closed my eyes for a bit not focusing but seeing beyond my eyes, with my mind all this while being unaware of myself, I heard a cry, it was the brunette girl, and everyone was looking up not only my friends but there were now other people all around us, across the street and beyond, everyone was looking at the dark sky, so I looked up, it wasn't a cry of pain, but of happiness and I understood now why, the dandelions where back and more vivid and colorful than ever, then I look through them, it was a super nova a cosmic event in an absolute clear, like those pictures of the ships we send to space, but was all visible from the ground, it was marvelous and astounding, the colors the magnitude that I fail to describe in words. Then I looked at the girl with the dark colored hair, she was so close to me she was grateful, a song played, maybe the same we heard before, and she got ecstatic, she kissed me and I passed her my bubblegum, I was dead ashamed of it, and I am sure she felt it because we were connected now and I knew but she didn't bothered, I didn't feel anything with my body like you would normally would with a kiss, but I felt it in my soul and it was so true and intense that it woke me up, and when I realized that I of course got a dull depression of it being over, and the knowing that I probably will never get back into that world again, I immediately went back to sleep just to wake up here again some hours later.
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Another Moment - Part 2
A/N: since you all enjoyed part 1 so much ( thank you for all the feedback<3) i worked on part 2 today :) as usual, feedback is appreciated :) enjoy!
in case you haven´t read part 1 yet, click HERE!
“How are you guys holding up?”, Emily asked.
“Well, they gave Sienna some meds to calm her down. She´s sleeping now. I can take her home with me as soon as she wakes up and is cleared to go.”, Luke said to his boss.
After receiving the news of her mothers passing, Sienna had a heavy panic attack and nobody was able to caml her down. This was when the doctor decided to give her a sedative. It hurt Luke to see his daughter this devasted and all he wanted to do was holding her and telling her that everything would be alright soon, eventually.
“And what about you?”, Emily asked again, worry lacing in her voice. In all his worry for his daughter, he hadn´t have time to cope with the message for his own sake.
“Well, I´m okay, I think. It still feels unreal and it will take some time to actually realize it, but my number 1 priority is my daughter right now.”
“I know, Luke. Take as much time as you need to geteverything settled. If you need help we´re all only one phone calle away.”
“Thank you, Emily. This means a lot.”
“We´re family, Luke. No one gets left behind. I have to go now. Keep us updated, okay?”
“I will, thank you and tell the others I said hi.”
“I will.”, and with this, they ended the phone call. LUke put his cell away and reentered the room where Sienna was sleeping in the huge hospital bed. She looked so fragile and small laying there. Slowly, he walked towards the bed and sat back down in the chair beside the bed.
“So, what will you do now?”, Matt asked to avoid the silence which was building up.
“Well, I´ll try and get full custody since I´m the last blood relative person she has left and I´m her Dad, so it shouldn´t be that hard.” Matt nodded and leaned back in his chair.
“Hey, whenever you need help or if you just wanna talk, I´m there. It can be tough raising a child on your own, Luke, but I´m sure you´ll do great.”
“Thanks, I´m not gonna lie. I´m nervous that I´ll mess things up, but I am also scared. Our job is dangerous and I don´t wanna cause her any more pain than she already experienced.”
“Don´t worry, we´ll take care of you.”, Simmons smiled, reassuring his friend, which Luke returned.
“Well, I can´t make that decision without her. If she doesn´t want to move to Quantico with me because of the friends and school her in McLean, we have to find a different solution.”, the Ex-Ranger sighed.
“Just take your time to decide. Everything will fall in place by itself.”, Matt responded.
Luke was about to go on talking when he noticed that Sienna was slowly starting to wake up. The teenager groaned as she carefully opened her eyes, the bright lights blinding her.
“Hey, how are you feeling?”, the agent asked as he took his daughter´s hand and gave it a getle squeeze. Sienna only shrugged with her shoulders and kept staring outside the hospital window. Luke sighed. This would be a long way to go.
“Hey, listen. We have to talk about where you´ll be staying after you get discharged from the hospital. There are different options and personally, I would suggest that...”, he started to explain as Sienna interrupted him.
“Please, don´t put me into foster care. I don´t want to, please.”, the girl begged, tears glazing her eyes as she kept looking at her father. Matt´s and Luke´s hearts broke right there and then.
“No, Baby Girl, no, I did not plan to. I actually was about to ask you if you would want to come to Quantico with me. You could live at my place and...”
“Yes, please. I just don´t wanna be alone, Dad.”, the girl said as she started to cry.
Luke immediatley engulfed the girl in a hugh and tried to comfort her as he whispered sweet nothings into her ear. After a while, when Sienna had calmed down, they broke apart and the girl leaned back into her pillow.
“It´s all my fault.”, she then whispered.
“What?!”, Simmons and Alvez asked at the same time.
“That accident...it´s my fault.”
“How could you possibly think that, Sienna?”, Matt said.
“Mom was angry with me. We were at a school meeting before and my teachers were telling her that my grades were dropping and that it would be difficult for me to get into the next grade with these grades. When we got back into the car, we started fighting. She blamed my friends for my bad grades. She said that they would be a bad influence. That´s when I snapped. I was yelling at her that if she would have paid more attention to me than to this Scott guy, the she would have noticed that I was looking for help because I was struggling.”
“Wait, who is Scott?”, Luke wanted to know since he never heard that name before.
“Scott was Mom´s new lover. They met here and there, but never were a thing. He was disgusting and just not right for her. Anyway, we kept fighting and at some point I said that I hated her. And sometime after that, when she wasn´t focusing on the street...we got off the road and crashed into that tree. We crashed because she was mad at me. It´s all my fault and the last thing she heard of me before she died was that i hated her.”, Sienna finished explaining and started to heavyly sob. Luke, who also shed some tears at his daughters words, sat down on the bed beside her and held her tight. It broke his heart to see her like this. How could she blame herself?!
“Shhhh...Princess. It was not your fault. It was no onés fault.”, he tried to console her.
“I-I just miss her so much. Why does it hurt so bad?”
Luke held her even tighter, too scared to let her go.
“I promise you, everything will be alright. We´ll figure this out.” Sienna sniffled.
“C-Can we go home now, please? I-I don´t wanna be here any longer.”
“I´ll go get the doctor.”, Matt said and got up to leave as Luke gave him a thankful look.
About 10 minutes later, Matt returned with Sienna´s doctor and a nurse and they freed her from all the needles and machines.
“Okay, you´re free to go. I just need you to sign the release papers and you´re officially free. I´ll be right back.”, the doctor said and left the room.
“I´ll go and call Emily to let her know that we´re coming back while I go get the car.”, Simmons told them and also left.
Just when the agent left, the doctor came back and Luke signed the papers.
“You´re ready?”, he asked Sienna as the doctor left and he helped her get down from the bed at which she nodded.
“Okay, let´s go then.”, Luke said and was about to start walking when he felt his daughter hesitating. He looked down at her and noticed the tears in her eyes.
“Hey now, what´s wrong?” Sienna sniffled before she spoke:
“Can you please promise me something, Dad?”
“Anything.”
“Don´t ever leave me.”
Another Moment - Tag List:
@illegalcerebral @remember-me-forever-silent-angel @butsomeofusarelookingatthestars @anton-shudders @sayernita @ultrarebelheart @imagicana @rubenlosthischeeks @jessiedangerous
CM Tag List:
@ultrarebelheart @obsessed5sosfreak @illegalcerebral @remember-me-forever-silent-angel @imagicana @marvelfanlife @milkandcookies528 @liz-a-22 @sunreid
Luke Tag List:
@littledizzyhurricane @shiningmish @imagicana @paralelopipedd @sayernita @thehappytalecollector
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds x oc#luke alvez#luke alvez imagine#luke alvez fanfiction#luke alvez x oc
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Powerpuff Girls 2016 - Home, Sweet Homesick
Written by: Haley Mancini, Jake Goldman
Written and Storyboarded by: Alicia Chan
Directed by: Nick Jennings, Bob Boyle
I'd make a joke about how I'm sick of something here, but I don't think it would fit.
This episode starts with a bad guy committing a crime, and the Powerpuff Girls coming in to save the day. Seems like an ordinary Powerpuff Girls episode if such a beginning wasn't so rare in this reboot. In this case, it's Reboot Jojo robbing the bank on his hover-scooter, causing some property damage along the way.
Of course, the Powerpuff Girls come in and beat him up. Surprisingly, not only does this scene exist, not only does it not have any hit flashes, but he's lying in a bruised state in the end of it! Sure, some of the hits look like Jojo is selling it too early, but baby steps.
The Professor smoothly drives his car where this carnage is taking place, and tells the girls it’s almost time for a two week stay at Camp Big Dipper. Buttercup shrugs, calling it a nerd camp. The nerdy little red smart person that apparently isn't as good at coding or math than her sisters, on the other hand, is super excited! To her, it's going to be a huge academic institution, with all of the greatest minds of tomorrow! Maybe there's even going to be some pop quizzes!
They do this entire conversation while they’re still punching Reboot Jojo to the ground, his body a lightly bruised mess. Reboot Jojo doesn’t seem to mind too much; it's just a normal day for him. He even takes the time to call the camp a "super nerd camp" after Blossom explains what it is. This doesn’t end well for him, as I'm sure she'll call him a bad monkey.
Or she could break his hand, complete with a bone cracking sound! This whole scene seems to exist only to show that, indeed, this is a show about kindergarten first grader school-without-grader superheroines who fight crime. The rest of the episode doesn't really do that, and with all the Monster Punch Girls Down and Superheroine In Distress situations, that's not necessary bad.
After Blossom makes Rorschach proud, and a terrible impression of an opera singer singing "SPACE CAMP", the Professor and the Puffs arrive at Camp Big Dipper. The Professor won't be going with them, much to the chagrin of Bubbles, who practically turns into a demon demanding he'd come with them. They throw away this joke pretty much immediately, for this episode’s benefit, as Buttercup carries Bubbles out of the scene. The Professor tells the girls that they can call or text him any time.
While Bubbles is still sad from the previous scene and has to be carried by a bored Buttercup who thinks this is all "lame", Blossom can’t wait to check out everything in this space camp! She hopes it's going to be full of learning and advanced rocket science, inspired by her idol of the week, Dr. Wendy Q. Dallen. Last name and a middle initial. I don't know if she's supposed to be a reference to anything.
Unfortunately for Blossom, and only Blossom, the attractions are all fun fare for the kiddies: a jumpy house with a moon theme, a bumper car ride where the cars are shaped like Mars rovers, and a petting zoo with animals that are made to look like aliens. There's even an attraction that just involves a guy in a spacesuit with a sign that says "kick the moon man". The show itself takes it time to point out how rediculous this is.
Bubbles and Buttercup immediately start liking camp now that it's not as much of a nerd camp as Blossom made it out to be. Blossom isn't liking it, and wants to talk to the camp director about how everyone is goofing off.
Camp Director Joey: Did someone say GOOFING OFF?!
Because the show hasn't established enough that this space camp is lame to Blossom, we get Joey, a jokey camp director voiced by Robbie "Cousin Oliver" Rist. At least, I think; the credits only credit him as an additional voice, but they don't say who voiced him. He looks like a cross between David Bowie and Donny the Hell-Horn. More like the latter than the former. Outside of one scene in particular, when this guy is on screen, you want him off. Even Bubbles and Buttercup realizes this eventually, so it's probably intentional.
Blossom literally gets thrown into the audience of a laser light show with this guy talking about how everyone is ready to have lots of moon fun! The reboot goes out of its way to do the most predictable joke they can do with that, though sparing us the actual butt. Blossom booes him asking for real science, and Joey outright asks who's booing him. Bubbles and Buttercup try to save face by saying she meant boo-yah. Yeah, I'm sure that's what I mean when I boo this show.
At night, we see Blossom sitting on the porch of the cabin they're going to stay in, sad that everyone is having fun but she'd rather not have fun. She decides to text the Professor about how everyone is having fun but she'd rather not have fun. Unfortunately, there's no good cell phone reception at the camp, ruining both of Professor Utonium's suggestions.
A week passes by, and Blossom has done nothing but read her Dr. Wendy Q. Dallen book. They really put a lot of importance on that name, because she's the reason why Blossom looked forward to this place. It's not another co-worker insert as far as I can tell, which is a shock. Bubbles and Buttercup show up with glitter crafts and garbage crafts, respectively, and Buttercup tells Blossom that she should just have fun.
Camp Director Joey: Did someone say FUN?!
Did someone say running gag? He talks about a big carnival, but Blossom is not interested. That sounds like too much fun. She wonders why Dr. Wendy Q. Dallen would even want to be associated with this place with its fun and games.
Blossom wanders around to find a locked road to an abandoned rocket museum. She opens the doors, and she finally finds things that she's interested in: models of rockets! She even finds a life-size scale Apollo rocket model. She can go inside it like a real rocket! It even has all the buttons like a real rocket! It's just like a real rocket!
Blossom decides, in this lifelike simulation, to press the buttons to launch a rocket. Blossom even outright talks to herself about how she read about Apollo rockets, so people don't need to ask how a 6 year old knows how to launch one.
It turns out, this isn't a fake rocket, it's an actual rocket donated by NASA. She is instantly strapped in, and gets to experience 3gs of force as the rocket escapes the Earth's atmosphere. I guess nobody was really interested in that rocket museum. One would think someone would say "what does this button dooo?" and cause the camp to get sued for launching someone's kid into space.
The other kids see this rocket launch, and just see it as something cool. They even get the parts of the rocket that fall off raining on them later in the episode, and nobody wanted to investigate.
Blossom initally loves seeing the sights of space, until seconds later, when she realizes it's just so lonely out there.
She looks out the window of the rocket, and she starts hallucinating a Space Joey. Just like in that classic movie, RocketMan, Blossom is clearly going nuts from the isolation. Soon, she'll be making paintings using the ketchup and mustard on the ceiling. Nah, I'm just kidding.
Being the David Bowie-like person that he is, Space Joey starts to sing a song. Of course, it's a parody of the David Bowie's Space Oddity, right down to starting with "can you hear me, Captain Bloss?" To be honest...it's really good. I am not kidding, this is one of the few legitimately good moments this show has brought me.
We have scenes of Blossom slowly flying around in the lonely rocket. We have some good singing from Space Joey; it helps that Robbie Rist is also a musician. We even have Space Bubbles and Space Buttercup show up to tell her the fun they're having back on Earth. Hopefully this reboot can give us more of this in the future.
The screen shows an old video, not triggered by anything but plot convienence, showing Dr. Wendy Q. Dallen at the same space camp in her younger years. Blossom sees that it's always been a fun camp, and that it inspired her to further her advancements in astronomy. This reinterates the message of this episode: there's a time for learning, and a time for fun. This is actually the same lesson Painbow had, and this episode can't be further in both content and quality.
With the song and video, Blossom finally realizes the lesson of the episodes, and decides to go home. She flies the rocket back to Earth.
Blossom is reunited, who reveal that they missed her so much, they read her Dr. Wendy Q. Dallen book. Joey shows up again, apparently not worried at all that a kid just wandered into an abandoned place and went into a rocket that just flew into space. It's a good thing she was able to survive in a vaccuum, even if she never needed that ability! Buttercup tells him not to ruin the moment.
The episode ends with a pan to the stars, with some shooting stars. Hopefully they're wishing there's no monster attacks while they're at camp. Considering how rare that seems to be, it's likely they don't need to make those wishes. Maybe they should wish for more episodes like this.
Does the title fit?
Not really. Bubbles is initially homesick because the Professor isn’t coming with her, but that’s as close as that title gets. Blossom is more sick of the camp not being as “scientifically accurate” as she thought it was. There was a moment where Blossom looked at a picture of the Professor and her with sad eyes, but that’s as close as we get.
The TV Guide description is a flat out lie, too; Blossom never worries about her schoolwork in this episode.
How does it stack up?
This episode has an actual good song number, and a good use of a lesson that was done extremely poorly before.
The only issue is that it's not really a episode that requires superheroes. As said before, it's not a big issue. A lot of the worst aspects about this reboot revolves around the show's premise. The one scene that does follow that premise is practically unneeded in the episode, but may have been needed when it comes to the reboot as a whole.
I was originally going to give up on this series after the Season 1 finale, but I decided to keep going. I decided to keep going because, well, it wasn’t right to stop at People Pleaser. There’s two kinds of episodes that don’t make me regret that decision: awesomely bad episodes like Snow Month that give me lots of material to work with, and episodes that are surprisingly decent. Yes, they exist, and this is one of them.
Next week, the show will take a look back to the past...and probably not learn anything.
← Buttercup vs. Math ☆ Memory Lane of Pain →
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The Chemist — Chapter 29
As we open this chapter, I'm starting to question my notion of reality. It's something that just occurred to me, but how many times has this book faked me out like this by now? Promising to get something done, and then nope! we waste time on romance, or make-up, or angst, or anything that takes up space.
Well, admittedly, the romance is probably what Meyer is most interested in. But tough luck, you wrote a spy novel, deliver on the spy stuff. Or at least write characters whose romance is…you know, passable and interesting. As for this particular scene of Val and Alex talking…
“I never thought I would want an actual woman friend. It’s more fun than I imagined.”
I guess this is kind of positive? (It comes from Val, unsurprisingly, not Alex)
Anyway, they move on to talk about names, and how they both aren't using their birth name anymore because they didn't fit their personalities, and I'm just sitting here thinking "wow, this whole conversation would be a lot more meaningful and relevant if at least one of them was trans". I mean, really. Alex complaining that "Juliana" is too feminine for her? Boring, and also…kind of random, to be honest. And for Val, we don't even know what her birth name is, so it's hard to connect to anything she says here. If one of them was a trans woman, who probably had to change her name, it would at least have a point being there. Of course, if one of them were a trans woman, it would probably be handled extremely badly, since the author is Stephenie Meyer. Be careful what you wish for, and all that.
This—surprise!—doesn't go anywhere, by the way. Val tries to comfort Alex about her plan, because I guess Alex pretending to be confident last chapter fooled absolutely no one. She also offers Alex to get a service dog vest for Einstein, because Alex's plan (which is now dubbed "the suicide plan", because yeah, she had two plans and we were privy to neither, so who cares, really) involves Einstein too. Are they going to disguise him with make-up as well?
Some more padding about Val's apartment and wardrobe later, they finally get on the move and drive to Carton's office. And…wait there.
Alex’s mind was miles away, working overtime to think through the flaws in her plan and try to fix them insofar as that was possible. There was so much that had to be left up to chance; she hated chance.
This would be all right…except all your plans have been made up within twenty-four hours before now, and all but one was flawlessly executed, so it's kind of hard to feel like this plan is more or less wonky than the others. I mean, in the sense that they were all wonky, and the book just arbitrarily decided that it would acknowledge it this time, unlike before.
Speaking of which, Alex angsts about whether Carston is even going to leave his office to deal with his granddaughter's kidnapping himself. He does, because Mary Sue Guessing Powers, and takes the exact itinerary that she expected him to, because as we've established, he kind of sucks at being unpredictable.
She catches his attention while on the road and shows him Olivia's picture, climbs into his car, and explains the deal. Which is: Alex and Barnaby once created a compound called "Deadline", because Meyer still sucks at naming chemicals. It'll kill Olivia within twelve hours (or…so Alex claims, it's not clear whether she actually used that compound), unless Carston helps her get Kevin out of the CIA's hands.
“You were never this cold-blooded.” “Policies change. People change. Shall I share a secret? […] Kevin Beach wasn’t in Texas when Deavers sent the kill squad. I was. […] I’m not the person you used to know, Carston. You’d be surprised at the things I’m capable of now.”
And that's all the proof Carston needs, I guess. He gives up Kevin's location, what little he knows about the security, and tells Alex Deavers doesn't know much about her.
“Deavers isn’t a detail guy. I doubt he’d be able to link you to the picture.”
Yeah, I mean, why would a CIA person pay attention to details, right? That's just completely useless for a spy. You know, I'm getting the impression Meyer doesn't know what the CIA is or does.
Oh but wait, it keeps going. See, Deavers used an "ordinary interrogator" to work on Kevin, because even though he's—and I quote—terrified of Kevin, he's also stupid enough not to put his best asset on the case. And/or they don't have a best asset to put on the case.
“So you never replaced me?” Carston shook his head. “I’ve tried.”
Yes, Alex is so special they never found another good interrogator after her. Even though her skill was…making chemicals and using them…which anyone could probably learn? Didn't she leave notes? What kind of scientist doesn't leave any notes? Not even for an potential successor, but even just for herself?
Ugh, I'm back to being annoyed. Why would you pick a topic like spies and chemists if you're not going to research anything involved in your story?
Anyway, this whole parade of incompetence is just a contrived way to get Alex to suggest that Carston presents her as his new interrogator and to have him tell Deavers he wants her to interrogate Kevin, this providing them access to him.
In the middle of this, Carston also reveals he was already on the verge of breaking things off with Deavers and Pace, because…I don't know, for some reason Carston has nothing to gain from Pace's election anymore. It's not very clear, probably because no research went into politics, either. Who needs to know about that to write a spy novel, right? Oh, and he confirms that Pace is involved at all, and that it's all connected to the mission Alex had guessed it was all connected to, just so you know that her Mary Sue Guessing Powers worked correctly after all. Yay?
So Carston offers her a way to make her story more plausible by faking injuries, because he just had an agent narrowly extracted from a situation in Turkey and she could pretend to be that agent. And with that, they're off, because who needs more than five minutes to plan a dangerous breakout mission with your enemy that you're keeping in check with a hostage?
They go pick up Daniel then, who plays the role of Alex's brute for hire to watch over Carston when she can't. She leaves them to remove Val's makeup in a public bathroom, thus making her injuries visible once more to play into Carston's suggestion.
“Your face… that’s very realistic work, Jules. Subtle. It doesn’t look like you’re wearing any makeup at all now.”
Ha.
They get back on the road, Carston begs Alex to let Olivia go even if she doesn't make it out, Alex doesn't agree to do it, and he takes it…surprisingly well.
“If we go down,” he said, his voice stronger, “at least take that bastard Deavers with us. Can you do that?” “I’ll make a point of it.”
They arrive at the disaffected CIA facility where they're keeping Kevin (because of course it's a disaffected facility, it's not like a real facility would have any use for anything, right?), Carston calls ahead to make sure they're let in, and…that's about it. There's two more pages in the chapter, but I can't really find anything to summarize about them beyond "descriptions".
Our climax, dear readers. This is how it opens. Truly a master of suspense wrote this.
#the chemist#stephenie meyer#book reviews#ya books#young adult#books#young adult books#ya#reviews#book#book review#review#st: the chemist
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I cheated my husband he knows but still wants to keep me and the marriage,but dont love him anymore,what i do?
I cheated my husband he knows but still wants to keep me and the marriage,but dont love him anymore,what i do?
i m still staying with him he change to make me happy i gave him a chance i have 2 kids for their sake i stayed but still i n not happy i rather have to divorce him i know i will have a peace of mine i want to do something that makes me happy he s a boring guy i just did nt ralized that b4 coz i m bc taking care of my 2 kids but now they re teenagers i suddenly realized how boring my life is,i m 44 yrs old and i knoe i still can find better life ahead of me with the right person with me so i need help outthere if i really have to sacrifice ny happiness for the sake of my marriage and for the my kids? my husband is not really a good provider we both have financial problem he had his money i have my own,i dont have a name on his bank account either his on mine he paid all the bills,i paid the daycare and the clothes for me and the kids,the sch. lunch for 1 kid him the other kid,i paid the car insurance which it s not my name but since i m the one using it.so pls. help what shall i do?
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2018-04(APR)-23rd--Monday--rain and wet & despair and up at 10pm.
2018-04(APR)-23rd--Monday--rain and wet & despair and up at 10pm
Woke up around 10:pm.
Quiet outsider it seems. NO illegal motrobikes tearing around (for now), no shithedas swappping riding on them all the time on the roads tearing about (for now), so far n unexplained 'noises' go on outisde (for now)......just the parade of damn jet planes flying over from Perth Airport taking off and flying over here.
I've fed poor Sam & Max their dry food and put then outside and went with them for their safety. A neighbour is in his kitchen with the light on but his eabid barking dog is not our frantically barking at any and anything and notthing. so poor Sam & poor Max weren't agitated to hell by that at least.
They got a little wet, but I was abel to towel tat dry on the one and only dog twoel that is left....the other towels have all becaue of Robert mysterioulsy vanished forever. Perhaps he used them so time back to scrub up the huge pool of my blood on the concrete slabs by teh back door when I was attacked and left a huge big thick pool of blood there before the amabulance took me to the hospitals? - I don't know because he never ever talks to me, he only talks to himself all the time constantly.
WHen I say a pool of blood, a do men a A BIG unbroken POOL OF BLOOD as large as the size of a mand chest or larger. Not just a few drips or spots.
And all that blood came out of ME.
I must have ben in shock. But I di remmeber thnking I should hve taken a photo of it at the time for proof becaue nobody believes me about anything.
Even my death I suspect I'mg oing to have to leave photo evidence about that will NOT be supressed or hidden to show that I'm dead as I feel that it may very well be as they try to sweep my death under the carpet forever as if my life counted for nothing, and anything I did or wished for counts for nothing, and anything I ever did good i life counts for nothing, as if my enture life counts for nothing......which it appears is the case very much so and it means absolutely nothing.....and probably never has and never will and I will bece notig and nobody will care......least of all dear Fliss whom I saved and love with all my heart and who has abandoned me to die in this hellhole..........when all I've ever wanted was to be her loving husband, get her to reconcile with her parents, and for all to be friends if not close friends then at least still friends parted by distance.
Not how it is now with me all alone, totally alone, more alone than if I was dead.
They say that to eperience your own death is like stepping into another room....well in my case it'll be like stepping into yet another empty room will it be?
No wonder there are so many lonely ghosts out in the spectral realms......or between realms waiting to be reborn again........
Ands still all the bastards and shitheads in this world carry on as they do regardless as if they are gods upon this earth. Pharaohs and rulers of olde under different terms now who don't give a shit about anyone or anything.
No wonder suicide rates worldwide are so high and rising no matter what they try to do to stop it all. Rates high for all ages, older, ordinary, young and child.
So....that's all I'll ever be one day too will it? - Just another number and mostly forgotten reference to being a living person? - It seems like that already.
And no contact with dearest Fliss, the dear woman I love and loved and protected and was going to marry and took care of when all others including her friends and family abandoed her to the wolves and then turned aroudn and blamed me ro all her woes when that was never ever never teh case at all........and so they have removed us far away from each other and destroyed me and kept us from all contact with each other. - What has become of poor dear Fliss? What has she been brainwashed into their believing? - Why have I not head from dear Fliss in all this time? - Has she had some severe physical calamity afflict her? - Has she had some severe mental calamity afflict her? - Or - Have they closeted her away somewhere and kept her in seclusion and isolation and non-communication somewhere whilst I here have had to exist in the depths of hell where criminals are indulged in their every whim and all other innocents suffer and nobody cares?
And dear Fliss sincerely promised me that she and I would be soon together.......and I believed her and I believed others when they said we would be soon together too soo.......
NOBODY TOLD THE TRUTH?
Will I die and be in an empty room afterwards waiting to be reborn?
I feel I am already dead and abandoned and alone. Poor dear Sam & dear Max also feel the same way. We few are just going-through-the-motions to others of being alive just for their benefits and to make them happy and feel they have some worth to their lives......as small as that might be..........
Poor Sam is sleeping and breathing heavily on the bed where dear Fliss once slept. The interior of this hovel is at the moment too-warm, a damn jet plane is coming in low over here to land at Perth Airport.
And I'm somehow supposed to get back to sleep....to go back to dreaming about being dead in a train carriage filled of dead souls and where the long train stops only let off those who are permitted to get off to be born by the unhuman overseers on the train........
And another damn jet plane flies off low over here from Perth Airport.......
MANY others have come and gone over this hellhole since my last blog entry. Just because I'm not here to state it, doesn't mean it doesn't go on.
Earlier, bepfore sunset, there was the now VERY RARE sounds of little twittering birds flitting about in the trees and bushes as they pssed through and played in the wet foliage and got drinks of water from them too and had a wash amongst the wet leaves......
All that I will miss when I'm dead........but nobody cares......Fliss doesn't care or is kept ignorant.......this coming from the dear gentle woman whom I love with all my heart and soul and she who absoluitely promised we would always stay in contact no matter what and would get back together again..........well that lasted until her parents attacked me vicioulsy and then sent a thug to contact me nd vicioulsy threaten me when I tried to explain EVERYTHING.......but it was all stuff they DID NOT WANT TO HEAR OR HAVE KNOWN....so they told me to kill myself...........the very things they were acussing me of was some of the same things I was always protecting dear Fliss herself from for so many years.........protecting her mightily and at great cost to my own soul.............
I'm tired of living. I'm tired of suffering. I'm tired of not being reunited with dear Fliss despite she and everyone promising us we would.
I'm tired of the rampant roaming crimials indulged beyond their wildest 'fun'.
I'm tired of the Police and authorities just giving up totally. Allowing toddlers to run around on roads in traffic and invade anyones yards and homes at will, to go around being destructive and pigs in the public streets, to cary on in utter madness until they get an icecream thrust into their mouths to shut their screaming up temporarily......
I'm tired of the playing all over the roads in traffic by shithedas who don't give a shit about their own miserable worthless lives, of innocent traffic constantly having to do bizarre things to avoiod running into and over such shitheads and fuckwits............
I'm tired of everyone being forced to move out of this area because of them all. Only to have yet more of THEM move in, get suported by nameless departments and trucks of stuff, worthless 'people' who are just like the scum has forced out the good people before them......
And they get everything done for them whilst honest people have to struggle greatly to do anything in their own, whilst also hightening their own home security and changing of living of home life in order not to fall victim to all the growing masses of shitheads and criminals of all ages.....
And people struggle with their own finances whilst the shits get everything and more served up on plate for them for free and yet STILL they demand more and more all the time because more and ALL is never enough.........
And self-serving politicians with their ugly facelifts show up now and again in the media saying how 'wonderful' all everything is and how there are 'great plans' just ahead but only as long as THEY are kept in power and have total control because any and everything else is not for you or ANYONE to know about so stop asking.
Aren't we all due for another big war soon? - Of big massive military engagement costing lives? And it's always portrayed as better when the more 'enemy's lives blasted away' and convenienetly hodden whilst all 'our' honourable 'servants of god and virtue' remain safe but still killing all the ungodly others of all ages, men women & children, is forced down our throats of acceptance as being 'good' and worthy and 'acceptible'........
All that's a distraction to the OTHER shit going on.........the ecoogical shit, the threats to wildlife and man alike, and environements, and ways of living which are highlighted as ways of dying to be trendy..........
Another plane has flown over this hellhole here.........
I've tried to have a cool drink of water out of the fridge.....it was warm........and the water our of the cold water tap was....warm..........
So I've ben reduced to drinking having filtered warm water from the fridge with filtered cold iceblocks in it which makes it somewhat passable to drink.......
Outside (I've just checked) it's about 25C (that's 77F), and it's been drizzling rain because the ground is all wet but there was no rain falling, it was just from just a rogue passing cloud. Inside this hovel it's 20C (68F) and all this is supposed to be 'cold' temperatures?
The weather radar loops show what looks like a pattern of birdshit rain has been spattered on a glass slide from high above, and like always it can never ever be trusted. If the world was underwater and they said there was a chance of rain falliing under the water everyone would accept that as thier accurate and true reading for that is the level of blind obedience to official weather forecasts to this hellhoel area which has little or no relevance to actual weather in any case.
I've long forgotten what it's like to live in a place where real weather and real weather reports actually have meaning and veracity.
Many years ago travellng with dear Fliss on the other side of Australia with her, she promised to sho me real snow because I've never seen real snow in all my life. We never did get to see that snow. So that's yet another thing I'll never see before I'm dead now, other than the 'snow' condensation I scrape out of a fridge freezer......
Maybe my dead body will have snow on it. That would be a joke upon me. A final one fitting to my shitty life.
I'm now going to have a tiny bit to eat and drink and take some pain masking pills and fool myself into going back to sleep........trying to sleep will be useless of course.....as it always is............
I'll give poor Sam & poor Max at least 'something' so they can share on the 'eating experience' so they don't feel left out and abandoned by me......
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I love you dear Fliss and want/wish to be with you just as you promsied me and us both. I hope you are well and safe and are being taken care of in a kind manner if that the state you are in, or if you are alone then please rememeber the promise you made to me and to yourself and so to God. - And if you are running with the herd and being brainwashed, just rememeber the herd if heading for the slaughterhouse and this lone poor lamb which is myself is all alone and waiting for you to let me know where to go, to die alone or to join you in the slaughterhouse. - Without being with you dear Fliss, poor Sam & Max are of course already in hell as am I. - To all kind others in this cruel world, I wish you luck and best wishes and kindness. - Never forget. - But always forgive.
And now my tumblr login shit is fucking me up again..................of course it's doing that right when I was going to go to post this, then try to have something to eat, then let poor Sam & poor Max outside with me between the rains, and then go to sleep in this hellhole.................
Hell never stops being hell and no part of hell ever lets up.........
It's 20 minutes to 1am as I try to post this....then go into the kitchen and so on......as planned to end a conscience life.........
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Chapter 2: Part 2
Joakim "The human body can, on average, go four days without sleep before it will completely shut down. This is one of the few things I retained from my high school psychology class, which I theorize is due to the fact that I- myself- have actually gone much longer without more than a few moments of precious rest. As the song says, sleep is for the weak. Sleep isn't a top priority for me, really. It doesn't fit into my agenda the way other things do, like schoolwork or my amazing job or Zane. My world is set up in this perfect triangle and to let anything, even sleep, try and reshape it would bring my life into utter disarray. That is the last thing I need." "And what is it that you do need?" I lean my elbows onto the counter and look out across at the darkened school yard, just barely able to make out some of the shapes moving across the grass as students. The clock says it's still four in the afternoon, but I know it's gotta be at least seven. It'd be a blessing for someone to fix that. "Caffeine," I respond, gesturing to the coffee machine to my left. My lone co-worker, Madison, rolls her eyes. "I should have known that somewhat heartfelt speech would lead to that, Coffee-For-Brains," she huffs, nudging me to the side so that she could continue her job of wiping down the counter of our coffee cart. I whip a cup off of the tower and start to fill it. "Is that really your life though? School, work, and your boyfriend?" "Zane is just my friend," I inform her defensively, pausing a moment before I release the button and watch the last drop of heaven fall into my cup with a soft twip! I slide a lid onto it and take a lingering sip. Not a single customer has been by since probably around five, which isn't all that surprising on a Tuesday. Mondays, Fridays, and Sundays are always our busiest days. Madison thinks it's because teachers assign the most homework at the start and end of the week and most of our peers procrastinate till the last minute to do it, hence need caffeine to make up for lack of sleep. This seems pretty reasonable to me. "Oh, really? My bad. I just assumed..." The girl wrings the towel she was using in the sink and we both watch as the soapy water seeps down into the drain. "But really, don't you do anything else? Like, jog or play video games?" "Well, I'm actually amazing at chess! Back in high school, my sophomore year, I actually won my school the state championship for it!" I explode with joy at the thought of my old hobby. On and off throughout my childhood, chess had been a vital part of my survival. Whenever things got weird, I'd just shut out the world, whip out my dad's old board, and play until my brain was numb. It was relaxing for me, even when I was seven and couldn't play for crap. Not many people, including my best friend Zane, understood how I could sit and play for hours. They thought it a boring activity. For me, it was like the Olympics, speed racing, and a movie fight scene all in one. I couldn't bear to take my attention off the game. To my surprise, Madison seems almost annoyed to learn this. "God, Joakim," she groans, tossing her head back in the most dramatic way. I'm shocked she isn't in any of the school plays with that overacting. "Every time you open your mouth, you just make yourself sound sadder and sadder." I should react to this, but I don't. There isn't a reason for me to. Instead of giving her what she wants- which, I assume, is for me to be offended- I check my watch underneath the sleeve of my hoodie. "Hey, quitting time!" I chirp, removing my visor and apron. The coffee cart does have an actual uniform they provide, but I prefer to wear my own clothes, thank you very much. Instead of putting the short sleeved brown shirt with a generic logo on the breast, I simply toss on the unmarked visor and apron they provide. No one complains, other than Madison, if I wear my hoodie and jeans to work every day. I'm a good worker. Does not wearing my uniform really change that? "Okay. See you tomorrow, Joker," Madison waves me off. I raise an eyebrow at her. What's this? Did Madison really give me a nickname? A show of affection? A term of endearment? "Joker?" I echo. She lets out a puff of air and I see it as it floats upwards. The night really isn't that cold, so this is a very odd thing. "Sorry, it's just, you remind me of the guy from Batman. You know, the weirdo with the painted face? Yeah. You're the kind to grow up to be that guy," she says, turning her back to me so that she could pretend to mess with the cash register. Again, her comment- suggesting I was going to grow up to be an insane criminal- really doesn't evoke any sort of reaction from me. I've learned how to deal with Madison and her snarky nature. All you do is ignore her; don't feed into her sarcastic growls that probably are hiding some sort of deep set insecurities about herself (at least that's what Zane says they are caused by). If you do this, then she'll eventually become bored with you and move on. That's what many predators do, Zane explained. Comparing Madison to a predator really isn't that much of a stretch. "Whatever I guess," I say back, putting on the largest smile I can possibly muster up to show her this doesn't bother me. (Does it bother me? I can't even tell.) "Later, James Madison." "Stop calling me that stupid nickname!" she screams like a banshee at me. Her anger only amplifies when she hears me snickering as I rush away, adjusting the ties on my hoodie so that they are even. I walk to the dorm, my headphones resting comfortably on top of my head. It's a dangerous thing to do since I can't hear the outside world, I know, but the walk doesn't require crossing any roads and I stay on the grass to avoid bikers using the sidewalk. My nightly walk home is the only time I have to enjoy my music. When I get home, it's time to study and I'm not the type who can listen to music while trying to retain information. It's distracting. The dorm is practically spotless when I walk through the door. Zane is on our shared desk, trying to slap some spider-webs down with a broom. I don't remember why we even bother owning a broom when our floor is covered with snowy carpet. It's nearly impossible to sweep carpet. Believe me, I have tried. When the door closes behind me, my best friend glances over his shoulder at me. "Joakim, my buddy! How're you doing?" Zane calls, his voice echoing in the tiny room it's so boisterous. He's so great at making his presence known, he can do it without even realizing it. "Zane, mi amigo! I am as good as I will ever be on a Tuesday night after working half a shift with James Madison," I tell him, letting my backpack slink off my shoulder and fall onto my twin bed. The dorm is so undersized that Zane and I, with our combined arm-span, can touch each wall if we stand in the middle of the room. We can fit in two beds, a single desk, and a mini-fridge. Most of our belongings are kept in the four-feet-by-four-feet closet space we share. Lots of little totes make up for the lack of space. My friend returns his feet to the ground, giving up on the web, and gives me a sympatric look. "She bullying you? 'Cause, you know, if she is, you can tell and she'll..." "I'm not a tattletale!" I interrupt him, laughing at the simple thought of telling on Madison. What a grade school move. "But if I do end up killing her, will you be able to explain to the judge why I did it?" "Of course! And, as a psychology student, they'll have to believe me!" Zane chuckles, clapping his hands together like guys who give TED talks always do. Somehow, Zane gives the illusion that every word he speaks is the single most important piece of dialogue you'll ever hear just through his gestures. It's really a really good skill to have, especially for the field he's chosen. Zane is great with people. He never comes off as too strong or too weak. Unlike me, he never overwhelms people. All he does is intrigue them. "Of course! All murders who have twenty-year-old half-psychologists on their side always win! And, by the way, in college, I don't believe they call it bullying," I point out, letting my legs go out from under me so I can collapse on my bed. My head is pounding. For once in the longest time, sleep actually feels like a necessity. Maybe I could rest for a few hours before doing my work. It's not due until Friday, but I'd like to get it done now so I can hang out with Zane on Wednesday like we'd planned. "The grown up word is 'harassment.'" "Well, I'm sick of her 'harassing' you!" Zane yells from the other side of the room, letting his anger vibrate off the walls. I close my eyes, my body becoming unbelievably heavy. Must be the fatigue finally taking over. "Just leave it, Zane," I insist, my nostrils filling with an odd odor. "What is that?" I ask, picking my head up. "The smell?" he verifies. I hum yes. "No idea. I've been smelling it since I got home. Also, you are not gonna derail this conversation. Don't try to change the subject!" My head cloudy with a need for sleep, I roll onto my side and tug the blanket that's hanging off the edge of my child-sized bed. I didn't need much room. "Someone's probably smoking drugs or something." "Did you really just say that?" My friend is hacking he's laughing so hard. "You're such a sixth grader." It's not even that funny. "I'm tired, leave me alone." Zane says something to me that I can't make out. I'm sure it's just some comment poking fun at me. "What?" I call to him, letting my body relax even further into my suddenly comfortable bed. He repeats it, but I still hear nothing more than a murmur. "Speak up," I beg. Zane doesn't speak. I try to peel my eyes open to look at him, but I can't find the strength. My lips twitch a bit, but no matter how hard I try, I can't pry them open. I feel as if I am swimming in glue. Well, I've never actually swum in glue before, but this is exactly how I imagine it. Pretty soon, my head goes under and I'm gone.
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2018-20(MAR)-25th--Sunday (Early afternoon--rain forecast then no rain but heat then rain and uncertainty about anything as almost usual.
2018-20(MAR)-25th--Sunday (Early afternoon--rain forecast then no rain but heat then rain and uncertainty about anything as almost usual.
I had to go to the corner shop and get some milk for dear Sam & dear Max and myself, just so could have some plain cornflakes or something like that to eat. They alwaya need milk because of their growing bones in their massive dog body's. And of curse I need milk too even though nobody sycj as dear Fliss or Cath doesn''t seem to now ever care about me. And I do mean that. It's part of my being in utter hell.
My own brother doesn't care about me and wishe me dead dead dead forever exepcially so Can never tell anyone the truth. Especially any truth about him.
Fliss alwasy understood that about me and loved me for it, being a truthful person, as well as our love for each other. I still love you dearest Fliss and I will love you even after I am dead dead dead. Dear Fliss I want to be with you, I truly do. Please let it be so. I am being driven insane without you.
This is not just another loves-lost message dear reader, never ever assume that. We are couple who loves each other and has been so for over 10 years but have been ripped apart by dear Fliss's physical and mental ailments. which I never ever blamed her for desite what others may think, but her own parents tell nobody abut the ailments dear Fliss has because they are so utterly destroying and how they parents (especially dear FLiss's mother alwasy said to me via Fliss herself, 'She just wants back the daughter she once knew, but that daughter is never coming back to her again no matter how much she tries. I' myself for better or worse, most people say it's the worst.......'
Then saying such to me, dear Fliss would break down in utter sorow for many hours and sob and cry and wail. And I comforted her and of course I loved her. And of course I believed her, even before and afterwards for how she was so very very harshly treated by her own semi-estranged interstate mother and her own family and relations. This is yet another reason dear Fliss was always with me ad relied upon me so much. Dear Fliss considered me the ONLY person she could EVER tell the truth about ANYTHING.
And this lonely sad person that I am trusting and honest, sincere, truthful and gentle, was as Fliss herself in her own word would constantly say to me, "I tell people you're the wall at my back and the wall in my face. You (she would use my name) support me in everthing I do but stop me from doing anything stupid that I do. Espceially anything that's liable to get me into trouble. I ma not liek it at the time and I kick up a stink and a fuss, but you stick by me....and THAT'S why I'm getting better. You're there with me at my worst times. All the stuff NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT and nobody cares anyway. I don;t care what they think. I love you. Please don't ever leave me or give up on me!"
And I'd alwasy promise I wouldn't, and I NEVER EVER HAVE......
And for all of that I have been made out by unkowing uncaring others to be all just utter lies and deceit, a fool, an exploiter, a person who abuses her (NEVER!!), a person who cause(s) dear Fliss to have mental break downs (NEVER!!!), a person who asaults dear Fliss (NEVER EVER EVER!!!!!).
And on and on and on and and on.......
It was a hell of its own kind. Only dear Fliss and I ever knew of her despair and everything. She REFUSED TO TELL ANYONE ANYTHING real or truthful, even her dearest friend(s) Cath of Queensland who now was across on the other side of Australia from us, a fact which despaired dear Fliss tremendously. And which was also part of her first breakdown and all others.
I thought yesterday that I had gotten a personal email (or like) from dear Fliss yet again, but when I went to search for it later I could find no trace of it having existed. That is how dear Fliss often operates in real-life. I always gently berated her about doing that but she alwasy felt she was being persecuted and constantly 'watched'. - Truly. It was something that we were having to constantly deal with. And I never knew if anything was real or not about all that.
When I seriously brought this up with Fliss's own physicatrist, (a seemingly inept physicatrist working here in Midland that dear Fliss cherished), I was told it was all 'nothing' and not to ever worry about it all.
Many years later I told another physicatrist of the same company (now existing not in a ramshackle giant old house across from the Midland Police station, but now in a brand newly built concrete and brick multistorey building around up the road and around two corners from there.) ...... and he thought nothing of dear Fliss at all,not even though she had been a patient of their company and a fellow physicatrist still working there at that time. (dont; make the mistake they were al frinedly to each other....they were adversarial to the extreme, not to least was gathering and harvesting and holding on to patients whom they considered 'forever income' to forever keep exploiting in any way they could. And they thought more of always forever getting and keeping any money than of any patient themselves. - Truly.
And dear Fliss thought so too over her time there.....years.
Dear Fliss ws kind about it all and respectful. But becase dear Fliss as she refferred to it as, "I've played all their games before....I know the rules far better than 'this lot' even does! - I could be a better physicatrist than them!....and I'd be rich and wouldn't have to keep working as a slave like I have to do forever for peanuts and a pittance as I do now!"
That would lead to her being angry, and again I would have to work with deaest Fliss to calm her mind down. She would be becoming frantic. Self-detructive yet again, Utterly secret about any and everything she did. She would confide tiny selective snippets to unknown others.....
And I would ALWAYS say to dear Fliss not to do all that, for her to etll teh truth abut any and everything and not be lying by selcting what bits of truth to sting togther to make a lie-of-truths. It was damging to them, damging to her and most damaging of all was damaging to us because of how it was doing to her.
She would laugh it all away. (literally) and then launch into yet another diversion....diversions which would somhow drag me into because I had to oncreasingly keep and watch upon her. (I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE! dearest Fliss) more than anone else wants to accept. They think it is just simple love, or that I was only out to us her for myself (NO, NEVER EVER THAT!).
And so FLiss and I would have verbal arguments and people once again assumed I was 'going crazy' and just atatcking her for no reason, they made up in their tiny minds ANYTHING thay could to explain why I would be arguing with dear Fliss....and Fliss herself ecouraged all this! And NEVER WOULD CORRECT THEM! -- It was part of dear Fliss's self-defensive mechanisms she had learned years before she and I had ever met. And of course I had known nothing about.
Sorry! - I've just right now caught sight of my hands and seen how gaunt they are since dear Fliss has abdanodned and let me years ago here at this hellhole, whislst she fled back to her parents once again lying so much all thw way. THEY TOO because of all that utterly despise and hate me and wish me utterly dead. And they stop any and all communications with dear Fliss and I that we have tried over the years. - This 'total micro-managing control aspect' is how they had been manging dear Fliss even long before I had ever known of or met dear Fliss on the oher side of Ausralia from me here.
And of course all this mental and physical mental/physical maladies that aflicts dearest Fliss I knew nothing of but THEY did. But even THEY had cut her off and partly away from their family contact....perhaps hoping she would get better as if it was just a common flu cold?
Dear Fliss and I came here to Western Australia and we started a new life together, and everything was fine for several years....until Fliss suffered major mental breakdowns and mental assaults upon her through frst through employment conflicts and disasters and also through being exloited by others (NEVER EVER ME!) who were constantly "AT HER" and alwasy trying to not only exploit dear Fiss for their own ends, which were often vicious and cruel, but they wanted her out of the way so they could exploit ANYTHING & EVERYTHING. -- Truly, it was vicious.
NOBODY has any idea of it all. Wehenever I've tried to anybody ANY part of ANYTHING about ANY of it, they instead just can't understand AT ALL, and BLAME ME! - Andor they dismis from ever getting involved with anything about dear Fliss and myself. - It was more than if a bomb exploded in dear Fliss's faces and my own. It destroyed businessness (MORE THAN ONE!), employess lives (including Fliss's!) and including my own including trying to destroy our very relationship and life existing together.....
Can you see now why dear Fliss often said to me crying and sobbing, "My life is cursed....CURSED I TELL YOU! - EVERYTHING I DO ONLY HURTS OTHERS! - EVERYONE ONLY ENDS UP GETTING HURT! - THEY SHOULD CONSIDER THEMSLEVES 'LUCKY' THAT THEY ONLY LOSE THEIR JOB....THEY COULD END UP LIKE ME INSTEAD AND WANT TO DIE AL THE TIME! - I DESERVE NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN! - I'M NO GOOD FOR ANYONE OR ANYTHING! - I'VE SHOW THAT THEY'RE RIGHT! THEY MUST BE RIGHT! IT KEEPS HAPPENING! I ONLY WISH YU WEREn"T INVOLVED IN ALL THIS CRAP....YOU DESERVE BETTER.....YOU DESERVE SOMEONE GOOD......"
"You ARE GOOD Fliss!"
"I MEAN SOMEBODY 'NORMAL'....I'M NOT NORMAL......I'M DAMAGED GOODS! - IF ONLY I HAD NEVER TRIED TO HELP ON THAT TRAIN THAT DAY LONG AGO..!!!!! - OH HOW I DESPISE THAT DAY!!!! AND WHICH IT HAD NEVER EVER HAPPPENED!!!!! - IT RUINED MY LIFE!!!!! - IT'S RUINED YOURS! - IT'S RUINED EVERYONE'S!!!!!! - KILL ME NOW, PLEASE KILL ME!!!!!!"
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Because what I have written above of that conversation has happened so many times, that in myself writing the above for teh worl to know (YET AGAIN BCAUSE NOBODY AND NOTHING CARES!), especially all that conversation parts is JUST like dear Fliss is here herself. I can hear our voices and our crying, and her wailing, and our poor dear dogs howling and scrabbling to get outside, or the dogs always trying to comfort dear Fliss but getting ushed away from her and yelled at which they could never understand.....
And once AGAIN I have revealed to the uncaring, unfeeling world that does NOTHING AT ALL to get me and dear Fliss back together, and I know I will again without being with dearest Fliss have terrible nightmares about it all....just as our dogs do all the time without us being without dearest gentle Fliss....and we live in a perpertual HELL of which NOBODY & NOTHING is ever made of to get dearest sweet innocent Fliss and I back together again.
It's dark and colder.......that is NOT an analogy but could very well also be one.......
I need to go outside with poor Sam & poor Max before it rains so they can do their doggie ablutions again.
I KNOW there is no mail in the mailbox from dearest Fliss (I've checked already)
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Shortly afterwards.....................
I have taken dear Sam & dear Max outside.....Max was DESEPRATE and did massive ablutions and Sam was too he decided he'd betetr do 'somthing' after Max. Or vice verse I have no idea becase they both did it all out of my sight. I was ready to whisk them inside throuh the back door safely because it KEEPS sprinkling rain as it has been all day, is always overscast, yet NOBODY (not even the official weather department) makes a forecast EVER applicable to reality even for the very day or a few hours beforehand....NOTHING is APPLICABLE AT THIS HELLHOLE AREA..........it's been hot then cool, too-warm then cool.....cool then horrible and cool-but-overhumid.....and that's in the space if a few hours let day after day after day after day....
The criminal aboriginals have been running AND around ON the roads at fatguts criminal housheold and PLEASE do NOT ever believe I'm racist or ANYTHING LIKE THAT. I AM NOT NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN! - Dearest Fliss herself she was alwasy telling me tis herself, she is aboriginal she was always keeing silent of it to all others. She told me she would otherwise not be hired for jobs or would be discrimnated against. I don't know how true any of that was, I am only repeating what dear Fliss always told me and promised me to keep secret which I did, as so MANY things you even know never know she made me promise NEVER to tell anyone.....
The Western Ausralian Police early this morning did a flying. momentary 'look' at the place and the area there early, why I have no idea. Probably for any andor all the usual criminal reasons, but they simply did as they alwsy try to do....the least amount of time about there as possible, and they left as quickly as they could. (NOT with any speeding off or sirens sounding and lights flashing though that as is what usually is constantly the case sometimes.
THIS IS A HELLHOLE LIKE NO OTHER......
So many abo feral kids have been also been on the roads and roaming all about.....ALSO as still OTHER adult abo's have been coming and going from s many other places in Koongamia and elsewehere. AND THAT's just in the times I have happened to dare look and see.
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(my internet is crashing and totally stopped for no reasons AT ANY TIME......AGAIN).....
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I want to be with you dearest Fliss just as you promised me and yourself. Please. And dear God please allow it to be. PLEASE.
WITHOUT BEING WITH DEAREST FLISS, I WANT TO BE DEAD AND NEVER EVER BORN EVER AGAIN, NOT EVER.
I have to go now and give poor Sam & poor Max something to eat again, something small, and perhaps eat soemething small/tiny in amount for myself. I have no desire to eat or live without being with dearest Fliss.
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2016-01(JAN)-04-Wednesday-2017.
2016-01(JAN)-04-Wednesday-2017.
9am and it's already 38C (100F) in the backyard of this hovel.
(later)...at just after midday it's 46C degrees (114F).
I have a terrible headache from the terrible heat not just from today, but all previous days. Lack of any sleep. And massive headaches caused by shitheads on illegal motorbikes.
Yesterdy, shitheads on illegal motorbikes would come tearing along. And to evade any Police they go through the pedestrian criminals walkway. One at around 5pm, but there were several during the day. LOUD.
The Swan Shire Council long ago has fortified the criminals walkway by putting in obstrucion poles and bars. But the ones the criminals didn't like, they simply ripped out. So what's left is a tacit look of it being 'blocked' for vehicles, but it allows motorbikes to go through.
Oh....and it also stops POLICE in cars from chasing criminals. The criminals KNOW this and use that tactic of darting through the walkway a LOT. They use that tactic almost everytime. And they use that tactic so much that it' become habit now even when there might be a possibility of POLICE about or not.
There was a different motorbike I saw yesterday. This bike (freshly stolen and not repainted?), still had red mudguards on it.
It is difficult to tell one shitty motorbike from another because there are several, and they are ridden not all at once. (though that has happened in the past too, riding LOULDY around in a gang.)
And they do the same general routes.
Do the West Australian Police ever catch them?
If they do, then the shitheads don't give a shit, and soon get (steal) another motorbike and use another one. And because they have a network of houses to stash them at, they can simply temporarily stash their shittty motorbikes somewhere, then come back later, and return......hence also the occurences at any time of these damned LOUD motobikes.
And you wonder why I've told of the stench of paint is in the air sometimes in this hellhole? -- Well aside from the shitheads loving to breath it in, they repaint stolen motorbikes and pushbikes. Hence the plethora of 'painted' pushbikes,, and painted motorbikes to hide their identity on the streets in this hellhole.
Over the last week there has been at least one illegal motorbike tearing around EVERY DAY. - THAT is how bad it has become.
And everytime the damned illegal motorbikes tear around the streets, it brings a flock of shithead out from the aboriginal CRIMINAL HOUSE who go around on pushbikes shouting out with their voices...mare! mare! mare! (even for 4-strokes the dickheads) ---- And you wonder why crime gets started and perpetuated in this hellhole? -- And of course the mini-criminals also station themselves on road intersections to look for and alert all others if any sightings of POLICE vehicles are seen.
Indeed, if just one marked Police vehicle slowly drives around here, it literally can often draw the mini-criminals like a magnet out as they follow it around and try to keep it always under observation, ready to warn all other fellow criminals if somebody is caught, or something happens.
Look back in my blog, and if you read it from the start you will have seen how the criminals evolved this tactic and constant habit.
However.....if there is a POLICE incident at the CRIMINAL HOUSEHOLD.....suddenly there is a massive if almost total disappearance on the streets of the mini-criminals, and the adult criminals. -- But even THAT has changed over time now so that mini-criminals (AND the adult ones) just see any POLICE coming to that house as something 'normal'. (weekly every Monday for many many months)
There has been SO many POLICE vehicles going to that aboriginal household, and SO many departmental vehicles going to that place, that innocent residents have almost become used to the occurences. But the POLICE try to be as quick as they can. And often if you blink, you'd miss it.
You can talk about crime statstics all you like but as everyone knows, statistics can be juggled about and bullshitted to their needs.
I've often seen POLICE vehicles just park well away from the aboriginal CRIMINAL HOUSEHOLD and just watch.
So....what does that watching count as?....Count as crime dealt with, or crime averted?
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I've written up offline a text file that was going to be an entry in this blog, but I've deliberately held off posting it up to see if anything would get better here in this hellhole. -- NO.....it has not got better. -- I'll eventually post that entry up, and I'll note it down as being written in the past to show if anything has changed. But you ALREADY don't need that to happen beause from my almost daily entries you can see shit that goes on around this ghetto.
As I write this, there is a young man, a worker at the house under construction (literally across the street from the aboriginal CRIMINAL HOUSEHOLD), and he is (yet AGAIN!), repairing the security fencing that faces the aboriginal CRIMINAL HOUSEHOLD. That fencing has been repaired and reinforced, and bolstered so MANY times now. Really, if it actually had barbed wire all around and over it the criminals would just steal the barbed wire as well.
Oh!, I've recently seen vehicles from the house rental agency about the streets. The company that supposedly owns and runs the rental houses around this ghetto. It's an indication of how many innocent people have been driven out and sold their houses (which the company thereafter got rental control of). Some of those houses have been rented out to innocent people who have no idea of the terrible tactic of having a massively feral aboriginal CRIMINAL HOUSEHOLD nearby (and even others strategically placed all about), so that eventually they gain control of everything. And only then, seemingly does action occur to actual evict the criminals.....prior to NEW people, buying in to the area to live. (Oh how little they actually know!)
This then also helps to explain the bullshit that goes on with the feral aboriginals.
Want to drive out people? -- Just house feral aboriginals CRIMINAL ABORIGINALS WITH FERAL CRIMINAL CHILDREN, the worst neighbours anyone could possibly have....have them as drug addicts, violent addicts, and drive out people from living in an area. -- If innocent residents complain.....bullshit away and placate them with things like (and literally THIS following HAS been used)....'Oh, their rental agreement is up for renewal. Even the owner doesn't want them there. So they (the CRIMINALS) should be out soon in....(insert here more bullshit & give a lying date))'
With West Australian POLICE......'Please report anything. We can't actually respond due to (any number of reasons)....but we'll note down all your information given.'
And the West Australia POLICE will add, that if you think you are in a great emergency that's life threatening, call us immediately........
They do that to cover themselves.
And I can rememeber as a very poor 13 year old boy racing barefoot in my pyjamas up the street on foot to the public telephone box, ater I literally leapt out of my bedroom window crying, because a thug had smashed his way into this hovel and attacked my dear mother. We didn't have a telephone. (We were too poor to have one.) She shouted for me to get help, and so I tried.-- POLICE eventually came and caught the bastard but I STILL have terrible nightmares about that even to this day of my dwindling life. There is still blood on the wall next to where I sleep. It had been tried to be painted over with a brush by my dear now deceased mother many years ago.
My mother suffered a tremendous amount after that. It hastened her death. It's hastened my death.
It was why I kept that terrible event secret from dear Fliss (Felicity Ann Carthew) because it was too much of a terrible thing to bear. -- But I was driven to tell Fliss when she had a terrible event of her own because I hoped that it would bring us together. Dear Fliss was shocked and astounded at what I tried to tell her, I was crying and sobbing at telling all the truth.
Fliss herself promised me, that Fliss and I would be together again, in a place far from this hellhole which it has become.
And then ALL communications with dear Fliss stopped.....as if she was dead and nobody would tell me.
People kept assuring me that all was well, they placated me and gave me false hope and asurances.
And so I am dead but a living shadow in the uncaring world of the living.
Every day there is shitheads about here in this hellhole. -- I've had criminals illegally going through the yard of this hovel. One such event resulted in a score of POLICE vehicles (mostly unmarked POLICE vehicles) rushing in and hauling the shithead away. But once again, this particular shithead left blood stains that I see everyday even though I tried to wash it away at the time.
I've tried to tell people about everything about everything. -- They make all the right conversations, and give assurances that all will be well, and they also lie, and they also assume things and offer what will come to pass and all will 'end' in a happy manner that they themmselves imagine will occur with Fliss and I.
But there is no 'end'......hell just keeps going on and on and on....and it gets worse.
And I have been left in utter total silence, alone, forlorn, abandoned, forgotten, lied to, told that I am weak, told to just get over everything, told to take up a hobby, told to just ignore everything and everyone.
Told the very things that I have never been, for to be that is not me at all.
I care, I love, I have hope, I am considerate, I am gentle, I am I.
But all that is nothing.
And I know what I should really do, I should just die.
Oh how I do not want it. Oh how much I am crying as I write this. Oh how nothing I do or write or PLEAD to anyone or anything, nobody cares to rejoin Fliss and I together.
And the one thing I wish most of all is to be with dearest Fliss, the one I never ever abandoned.
But I have been abandoned.
My WILL was written all correctly and lodged several years ago, and it will be that after I am gone that dear Fliss will partake of my extremely humble posessions and that of my dear humble mothers, and the posessions she had passed on to me and us....keepsakes of my mothers life in South Australia and of her growing up. -- That will all be for dear Felicity Ann Carthew. It is not a 'treasure chest' by any means, and it is not to be sold or given away. It is memories that my dear mother existed, and I existed.
I imagine the worst will happen after I am dead. I dare not say it.
Already, just posting what I have just written, it will result in more suffering for me.
I now know why my dear mother would cry a lot, and I will tell her in person how I know.
Already, it is as if I have a crown of thorns about my head. -- I did not mean to actually write that phrase because it has a specific religious meaning, but it really is like what I am suffering.
I love you Fliss and want to be with you.
To everyone else,....you have been a spectator of the destruction of me.
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