#because parents didn't want their daughters to be impoverished

[chocolatepot]

Very much agreed with the last post, and I'd also add that the idea of women "not working" is one that needs to be considered with a lot more nuance than it usually is.

Even above the level of artisans who participated in the family business (which was probably a bit socially higher/more prosperous than you think), women were active. They didn't clean or do the major cooking, they didn't do directly profitable work, but they had to be very wealthy before they could afford to hand over every domestic task to servants. And then on top of that ... I am running low on time right now, so I'll quote myself from elsewhere:

A large part of women's use of their needles when they didn't need-need to relates to the ideology around "women's work". Plain sewing was the quintessential womanly skill; a woman who couldn't manage a seam or a hem might be thought to be a frivol, inattentive to her duties. Spending too much time in idleness or pleasure-seeking was, if not sinful, a waste - not just in the eyes of society, but in their own self-opinions. Anna Larpent, an Englishwoman, left a diary of her own around the turn of the century that detailed her own sewing in even more detail than Anna Winslow Green's letters, and it shows that she was fairly constantly at work on sewing curtains, neckcloths, dust covers, and needle-cases, and embroidering handkerchiefs and chair cushions, as well as doing ordinary mending. In addition to providing the house and family with new or renewed items, this gave her a specific kind of pleasure: I can smile, I mended two shirts and two shifts ... and had it not been a duty how much rather would I have studied history or poetry, but I protest ... fulfilling my female duties warms my heart as much as Mental pursuits delights it ... * She also recorded that this work gave her time to digest and consider those mental pursuits that she had been pursuing earlier in the day. Regarding embroidery - there's another thing that tends to poorly-portrayed in pop culture, where it's made out to be a special kind of torture with no purpose. In reality, it's just the other side of the plain sewing coin, another type of womanly industry. The most basic embroidery, which served a necessary purpose, was stitching numbers and letters onto otherwise unremarkable undergarments and handkerchiefs, so that the owner ended up with them after laundering; this could be entrusted to children and any maidservants. Being able to spend valuable time on embroidering home furnishings and clothing (samplers and pretty pictures for the wall were projects for those learning the skill) was itself a privilege - and would result in something nice for the home or body. We can also regard it as an art like drawing or painting, though typically it isn't given the same respect as those two activities, which, of course, were mostly done professionally by men. A good way to understand sewing both plain and fancy is to compare them to modern-day DIY and crafting. It often saves a little money, but the real benefit is the feeling of accomplishment while working on the projects and using or looking at them after they're finished. There's a sense that what was created is better or more desirable not just because it's of a certain level of quality, but because it has the distinction of being made at home.

We consider all of this kind of thing "not work", but it was definitely considered "work" in the period for middle-class and even most gentry women. (Anna Larpent was the daughter of a British ambassador and the wife of a civil servant in the late 18th century. Her family rented a house in London and another in the country, and in addition to male staff she employed a housekeeper and multiple maids.) It was not like picking up an embroidery hoop, doing a few stitches, and putting it aside again a few minutes later out of boredom - it was like spending a day at the job of clothing the family (by making or at least cutting out their undergarments) or decorating the house.

A typical month's work can be seen in July 1799 when she "made three valences for the Eating Room Windows, and three pocket handkerchiefs for John, cut out four shirts for John and one for Mr Larpent, made a collar and sleeves for the latter, made a pair of mittens, finished a Hearth Carpet in X stitch, worked part of a gown for my sister, did much mending particularly chair covers old and worn which I patched into the pattern that they might be dyed."

"‘After they went I worked’ : Mrs Larpent and her Needlework, 1790–1800", by Mary Anne Garry in Costume, 39:1, 91-99 (2005)

* There is a lot to delve into wrt this quote and what it says about Larpent, her upbringing, and women's places in the world, but for right now in the present context it must suffice to say that this was in a private diary and should be assumed to be reasonably sincere. Other diary entries are straightforwardly positive about the relief she found in sewing.

This isn't hugely important to Bethany's point, as this would not bring in any money (but with the dowries and/or jointures and/or outright inheritances these characters have, they are in zero danger of needing to earn a living or being plunged into genteel poverty like the Bateses). It's just something I wish more people were aware of when they say that women didn't work or that women had nothing to do with themselves - it's important to be specific and talk about "working for a wage" or "being hired by an employer", because this kind of labor was considered vital to the household, and doing it was considered "working".

Also, the women Bethany is pointing out as leisured in Austen do not have to do this kind of thing at all, or rather, they have the luxury of being so wealthy that they can afford to rise above the "proper women are industrious" principle. Even the Bennets don't seem to do anything more than occasionally remake bonnets for amusement; Caroline Bingley and Fanny Dashwood are definitely not engaging in the work of mending clothes or sewing curtains, not because it would demean them but because there are other things they would rather spend their time on.

I really do think a big part of Austen's works is examining what happens when a lot of wealth and a lot of leisure brings out the worst in people. Most of her characters are Trust Fund Babies who never have and never will work a day in their lives. Even good landlords like Darcy can take two month vacations at their friend's houses without consequences beyond writing a few letters of business. Even some of the real jobs were hardly work, clergymen could (and did) hire dirt cheap curates to cover their sermons, landlords had stewards.

What sort of terrible behaviour results? A ton of greed, a lot of social envy (trying to get higher and richer in society), a lot of men and women treating love as a game (either for giggles or to marry up), a lot of indolence/laziness (Mr. Bennet and Lady Bertram), and a ton of pride despite having done nothing for their wealth and position except you know, being born (and often being born male).

How could a man flirt with women just for fun? He doesn't have anything else to think about or do! Why is that woman trying so hard to manipulate a rich man? It's her only way to attain wealth since it's uncouth for her to dirty her hands.

These people need actual jobs. I'm convinced Henry Crawford would be like an 80% better person if he had something to do with his life.

And then you have the fact that almost none of the actions of men have any real consequences, at least for themselves...

[fcrtnite-a]

𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭. ;

dc comics

arden waverly. thirty-three. a gotham street kid who left home at sixteen. has ties to an elite group of hackers that use their expertise to steal from the rich & give to the poor. professional hacker. lesbian. fc ; kristen stewart

brooke larson. mid-twenties. lives on the fringes of society rubbing shoulders with gotham's criminal underworld. childhood best friend of jason todd a.k.a. red hood. has a strong dislike for cruelty towards women, children, & the less fortunate. high end escort. bisexual. fc ; sophie cookson

emilia 'emily' wayne. late-teens to early-twenties. she was an unplanned pregnancy, conceived at the height of bruce wayne & vicki vale's whirlwind romance. they became engaged soon after finding out the news, but the marriage didn't last long. the weight of bruce's secret was too much for vicki, constantly worried about their daughter's safety, and they amicably divorced when emily was six. she spent weekends with her father and attended an all girl's private school in the city. the experience there along with anger towards her parents' separation caused emily to become stubborn & rebellious, rejecting the rules that were set in place for her own protection. the only person she really listened to was alfred & her brothers when they entered her life through bruce adopting them. after graduating, emily began attending gotham university to be in social work, despite vicki wanting her to go into journalism. because of growing up with her adoptive siblings (especially jason), her empathy for impoverished children grew and she was determined to make a real difference in gotham. she sits on the board of a children's charity with bruce and uses her popular social media presence to raise money (and regularly donates) to other charities locally and globally. emily learned about bruce's secret in her late teens and gained a greater understanding of what went wrong between her parents. she's very close with her mother, alfred, & half brother damian, but still struggles to emotionally connect with bruce, who tends to treat her like she's made of glass. pansexual. fc ; abigail cowen

gia tedesco. late-twenties. the only daughter of the most prominent mob attorney in gotham. knowing the in's and out's of the criminal & legal system has given her a unique perspective & lots of street smarts. real estate agent. bisexual. fc ; danielle campbell

jenna wilder. early-twenties. a certified sassy diva princess & damsel with a heart of gold. born with a silver spoon in her mouth, but being in the limelight because of her famous family has come with its challenges. hotel heiress & trust fund baby. bisexual. fc ; sabrina carpenter

larken forrest. mid-thirties. a mysterious single mom on the run from her abusive ex-husband. she changed her name and relocated to the last place he would find her: gotham city. deals with severe ptsd that includes night terrors & overprotection when it comes to her eight year old son, jake. bruce wayne's assistant at wayne enterprises. bisexual. fc ; dakota johnson

fandomless

amelia thomas. early-twenties. a royal princess from the uk that made the decision to attend college in new york city. she's very sweet & naive & not what most people would expect a royal to be like. tends to blend in well with the crowd & makes friends easily. royal princess & college student. heterosexual. sub. fc ; elle fanning

antonia 'toni' flores. late-twenties. a resilient, ambitious, risk taker addicted to getting herself into dangerous situations. pushes the envelope when it comes to her relationships. stripper. bisexual. switch. fc ; alexa demie

ariana ford. early-twenties. an innocent, soft spoken, trust fund baby trying to make her own way in the world. her gullible nature usually causes her to be easily manipulated by people, especially men. fashion design student & coquette beauty influencer. bisexual. sub. fc ; cailee spaeny

astrid brooks. mid-twenties. a bubbly, sweet, social butterfly with a dark fantasy life. bakery owner. bisexual. switch. fc ; sydney sweeney

aurora gray. early-thirties. a social butterfly that thrives on organizing people's lives for them while having no life of her own. professional organizer. bisexual. switch. fc ; laura harrier

bella corday. late-twenties. an adventurous girl friday always after the juiciest scoop. highly ambitious and isn't afraid of jumping head first into sketchy scenarios if it will help her career. reporter. bisexual. switch. fc ; lili reinhart

birdie clark. eighty-four, appears early-twenties. a wise, well spoken, somewhat psychotic (when provoked) vampire. tries to keep the peace, but her temper usually gets the best of her. vampire & office receptionist. bisexual. sub. fc ; bailey bass

brynn crawford. early-thirties. a married stay at home mom who presents as a woman that can do it all. not a hair out of place, always well put together, keeps up appearances. little does everyone know that she's living a double life. social media manager by day, high end prostitute by night. bisexal. switch. fc ; blake lively

carmen ortiz. early-thirties. a charming femme fatale that always goes for what she wants - and gets it. has been on the run for the past decade pursuing marks & moving from city to city to evade capture. con artist. pansexual. switch. fc ; adria arjona

corey mason. early-twenties. based on her upbringing and bank account, most would consider her trailer trash. corey is the middle child of six siblings and was raised in a tiny farm house in the sticks. she had a lot of big dreams in high school that never came to fruition & regrets not doing more with her life. very friendly & empathetic with a calm demeanor. gas station attendant. bisexual. sub. fc ; taylor russell

devon taylor. mid-twenties. a kind, good hearted, beta werewolf afraid of her own shadow. she's not interested in hurting humans & just wants to live a normal life. werewolf & uber driver. bisexual. sub. fc ; chloe rose robertson

eliana hirsch. early-fifties. when her twin daughter left for college, she left her husband to live in a small seaside town & pursue her dream of writing children's books. best selling author. bi-curious. sub. fc ; jennifer connelly

estella greenwood. early-thirties. a sweet, good hearted, feisty restaurant owner who entered into an arranged marriage with a billionaire ceo in her twenties. she grew up with family money & resisted the idea of settling down (for appearances) with her father's business associate's son at first, but the marriage of convenience eventually turned into a loving toxic partnership. restaurant owner. heterosexual. sub. fc ; phoebe tonkin

felicity carter. mid-twenties. an uptight, hard working, anal retentive, perfectionist that has worked her whole life to be the best of the best in figure skating. has no time for a personal life & tends to throw people off with her direct nature. professional figure skater. lesbian. switch. fc ; phoebe dynevor

freya mancini. mid-thirties. the brutally honest, intimidating, power hungry wife of a mob boss with two young sons. she is the daughter of a long time mob enforcer and has lived with violence around her since birth. stay at home mom. heterosexual. switch. fc ; megan fox

gabriela rajković. mid-twenties. an opinionated, sex crazed, fun loving cam girl who loves being in the spotlight. goes by the name cherry deluxx online. she went from being homeless to making six figures in less than a year when a friend introduced her to the cam girl lifestyle. cam girl. bisexual. switch. fc ; mirela balić

gemma morgan. mid-twenties. a reckless, indecisive, party girl with a nasty drug habit & checkered past. bartender. bisexual. switch. fc ; adèle exarchopoulos

gwendolyn hope. early-thirties. a spiritual, shy, open hearted, natural witch who wants to bring good to the world and those around her. bookstore clerk & youtuber. pansexual. sub. fc ; lucy hale

hannah parker. mid-thirties. an awkward loner that moonlights as a serial killer. she is methodical about choosing her kills & takes the process very seriously. spends her days working in a doggy day care. relates more to animals than people. dog day care employee & serial killer. bisexual. switch. fc ; aubrey plaza

harlow gatlin. early-twenties. a determined, driven, career oriented, swim captain with dreams of making it to the olympics. daughter of a seasoned fbi agent. college student. lesbian. switch. fc ; madison bailey

hazel wells. late-twenties. an outgoing chef that marches to the beat of her own drum. curses like a sailor, makes friends wherever she goes, & loves creating unique menus for her high end clientele. private chef. bisexual. switch. fc ; florence pugh

india hayes. late-twenties. a street smart, anti-social, empathetic writer who bounces from job to job. only has direction if she's working on an interesting story & tends to go off on tangents. blogger, freelance copywriter, & sometimes novelist. pansexual. fc ; zazie beetz

ireland cardoza. mid-twenties. an aspiring actress & micro influencer trying to make a name for herself in los angeles. she works as an extra on tons of tv shows & has scored parts in a handful of indie horror films. though lately has found more success in the tiktok realm, creating beauty & fashion content. actress. lesbian. switch. fc ; camila mendes

isabel jackson. early-thirties. a hyper focused, womanizing, type a personality ex-tennis pro with a taste for luxury. tennis instructor. lesbian. dom. fc ; camilla belle

jaclyn prescott. early-forties. a successful, pit bull divorce attorney known for scoring big wins for her clients. isn't against cutting corners or burning bridges with colleagues to succeed. attorney. bisexual. switch. fc ; jenna dewan

josefina delgado. mid-twenties. a sweet, internet famous, up & coming pop star making her way up the ranks who adores her fans. singer/songwriter. pansexual. switch. fc ; maia reficco

kitty moran. mid-twenties. a soft spoken stripper with big dreams that's always out of place in her environment. she comes from the midwest & other than her job lives a very boring life watching cooking videos & going to movies alone. roommate & co-worker of quinn. exotic dancer. bisexual. sub. fc ; ashley moore

leia holt. mid-thirties. a methodical vampire slayer who takes no prisoners. her parents & siblings were killed by a family of vampires when she was a child. ever since she's been on a mission to massacre every last one of them. vampire slayer. bisexual. fc ; genevieve padalecki

liliana gregory. early-twenties. a successful, bratty model with a huge chip on her shoulder. enjoys the finer things in life & very aware of people noticing her. will step on anyone to achieve her goals & doesn't know the meaning of the word no. model. heterosexual. switch. fc ; barbara palvin

lorena silva. late-twenties. a tarot card reader with visions. comes from a long line of female family members with supernatural abilities. psychic. pansexual. switch. fc ; barbie ferreira

maggie simmons. early-forties. a charming, articulate, femme fatale notorious for dating (seducing) younger men. college professor. heterosexual. sub. fc ; natalie portman

mai hayashi. late-twenties. a small time drug dealer turned supplier that demands respect from anyone who crosses her path. she effortlessly navigates her way through the criminal underbelly & keeps a low profile. drug dealer. pansexual. switch. fc ; anna sawai

miranda westbrooke. early-fifties. a high powered advertising ceo who has literally knocked people down to get where she is. she's been with her husband for over twenty years & they are both notorious cheaters. though, they manage to keep up appearances on the outside. advertising ceo. bisexual. switch. fc ; rachel weisz

naomi taylor. early-twenties. the quintessential hot nanny who works hard & plays harder. she's works for several wealthy families & spends most of her nights off clubbing with friends in the city. prefers one night stands & fuck buddies over serious relationships. nanny. heterosexual. switch. fc ; kaia gerber

odesa aquino. late-twenties. an always curious, fun loving, travel junkie, romantic who makes friends where ever she goes. known for attaching herself to bad boys & then leaving them in her wake. flight attendant. bisexual. sub. fc ; kathryn bernardo

paige cole. early-twenties. a cunning, manipulative, well connected, hustler allergic to monogamous relationships. there's nothing much she wouldn't do to get ahead. dj & sometimes sugar baby. bisexual. switch. fc ; khadijha red thunder

piper drayton. late-nineties, appears mid-twenties. a chaotic, flirtatious vampire with lots of energy. has a strong need to be liked. vampire & yoga instructor. bisexual. switch. fc ; dove cameron

quinn strauss. early-twenties. has been a hustler her entire life, doing what she has to do to get by. very confidant & isn't afraid of anyone. protective of the people she cares about, especially other women. has a habit of getting involved with bad boys - mostly criminals. roommate & co-worker of kitty. exotic dancer. pansexual. switch. fc ; bella thorne

ripley ashford. early-thirties. an ambitious weather girl getting her first taste of local fame. she's a positive, bright, ray of sunshine that is very aware of her effervescent beauty & effect on men. loves to flirt & have a good time. on air meteorologist. heterosexual. sub. fc ; margot robbie

rosalyn suarez. early-thirties. a direct, bossy, domineering alpha werewolf. she became the leader of her pack after the death of her husband & tends to be feared. werewolf & entrepreneur. heterosexual. switch. fc ; eva de dominici

ruby harding. late-twenties. a hard working, driven, burnt out medical student determined to change the world. struggled with a severe cocaine addiction in her teens. med student. bisexual. switch. fc ; grace van patten

sienna ledger. mid-twenties. a socially awkward, semi-well known final girl who survived a serial killer at age twelve. she suffers from debilitating ptsd & has violent thoughts about killing. retail slave & camp counselor. pansexual. switch. fc ; maika monroe

sutton barnes. late-thirties. a fast talking, obnoxious, publicist with a flair for the dramatic. because of work, she's always out of town & doesn't mind ordering takeout & living out of a suitcase. publicist for a major league baseball team. bisexual. switch. fc ; katie mcgrath

tinsley palmer. mid-twenties. a mousy, unassuming, small time thief. she has a soft exterior, but a tough interior & sassy attitude, working with a group of other criminals that rob banks. between jobs she pick pockets & steals credit card numbers, doing whatever she has to do to survive. thief. bisexual. switch. fc ; ella purnell

valentina alvarez. mid-twenties. a sweet, empathetic, girl next door that radiates warmth. she goes above & beyond for her students & is constantly fighting the school system for better working conditions for herself & the other teachers. would give anyone the shirt off her back & is easy to confide in. kindergarten teacher. heterosexual. sub. fc ; camila marrone

willow donovan. early-twenties. a hippie-ish barista & college dropout, her only real goal is laying out at the beach & hanging out at house parties with friends. she always has a joint in one hand & a beer in the other & goes through men (and women) like tissues. barista. bisexual. switch. fc ; madelyn cline

zoe french. late-twenties. a wealthy, vain, attention seeking television star desperate to stay relevant in hollywood. famous actress. bisexual. switch. fc ; dua lipa

zya fox. mid-twenties. a fun-loving, witty, fashionable, makeup artist that works with celebrities & on film & music video sets. she loves being around influential people & will boast about it to anyone that will listen. her life is a roller coaster & she wouldn't have it any other way. makeup artist. bisexual. switch. fc ; coco jones

fandomless / period only

elizabeth thornton. mid-twenties. a naive, rebellious, hopeless romantic curious about life outside of the castle walls. royal princess. bisexual. sub. fc ; lea seydoux

genevieve berry. early-twenties. the youngest daughter of a royal family that hasn't married yet by choice. she is a free spirit & hates being told what to do. royal. heterosexual. sub. fc ; alisha boe

rose fitzroy. early-twenties. an overly curious princess that dreams of one day being queen. easily manipulated & naive. royal princess. heterosexual. sub. fc ; holliday grainger

samira patel. mid-twenties. the daughter of a blacksmith with pirate lineage. she works as a seamstress with her mother to help the family make ends meet. commoner. bi-curious. switch. fc ; anya chalotra

house of the dragon

eloise belfron. late-teens. a commoner that was chosen to be helaena targaryen's lady in waiting to settle her father's debt. has a strong dislike for aegon due to his cruel tendencies. isn't afraid to speak her mind & is very loyal to helaena. heterosexual. fc ; rose williams

law & order svu

maricela velasco. late-twenties. an overly dedicated detective working in the narcotics division in manhattan. has made it her personal mission to keep drugs off the streets & has a strong dislike for dealers. cousin of svu detective joe velasco. bisexual. fc ; eiza gonzalez

sylvia becerra. early-forties. a no nonsense, svu detective that cares deeply about her job and often brings it home with her. she spends a lot of time in the gym working off her aggression & works overtime to solve cases. detective. bisexual. fc ; jessica alba

the musketeers

mary turner. mid-twenties. childhood friend of constance that was always interested in medicine. she became the assistant to the town doctor & is often criticized for it by the locals. heterosexual. fc ; gugu mbatha-raw

reacher

savannah reacher. mid-forties. older, estranged sister of jack reacher. she was cast aside as a child in favor of her brothers & learned to develop a thick skin & fend for herself. was recruited into the fbi training program out of college & became an fbi agent. married in her thirties & had a son, patrick. he drowned in a swimming pool at eight years old & her marriage fell apart. she divorced & dedicated her life to her job, shutting down emotionally. maintaining a relationship with jack is difficult because he's always moving around, but tries to keep in touch. pansexual. fc ; rosamund pike

sons of anarchy

thea montgomery. mid-twenties. works at her father's auto body shop that has been operating for decades. she grew up around the samcro crew as the shop is their go to for bike repairs & went to grade with jax teller. very sweet with a side of spice, loyal, & a closet drug user. bisexual. fc ; riley keough

succession

clementine roy. mid-twenties. logan roy's illegitimate daughter, the product of a long time affair with his secretary. he never acknowledged her birth with any of his kids & supported her mother financially until she pressured him to leave his wife. then the visits stopped. after her mother died of a drug overdose when she was twelve, she was brought into the roy family and sent to the best all girls school in the city. she excelled in academics & sports, determined to please her father, but never could. he always saw her as an indiscretion. she went away to college & became involved in an abusive relationship with a wealthy classmate. on a whim, they eloped & were only married for a month before he beat her so badly that she was hospitalized. the roy family rallied around her and it strengthened her bond with her half siblings. logan threatened to get the police involved if her husband & his family didn't agree to a divorce & cease all contact. they agreed & after she recovered & finished school, she went on to become a successful interior designer. she avoids the spotlight that comes with being a roy for the most part & tries to live a peaceful life. heterosexual. fc ; alexandra daddario

supernatural

nadia shepherd. late-twenties. growing up, nadia's grandfather and uncles were hunters while her father chose to live a normal life after marrying her mother. curiosity piqued at an early age and she begged them to train her. despite her father hating the idea, worried that billie would get hurt, she quickly took to hunting and proved that she could handle herself in most situations. she eventually linked up with another group of hunters her age and went on the road with them until several were killed off by demons. since then nadia's been a loan wolf, traveling around the country hunting solo, and is well regarded in the hunting community. bisexual. fc ; crystal reed

tess reddick. mid-twenties. has the ability to see people die before it happens. when tess was six years old, she had a nightmare that her father fell from a roof and broke his neck. the next day, he was doing work on a client's roof and fell to his death. she kept the secret from her mother and siblings, but through the years kept having the premonitions. during her senior year of college, she had a vision of her best friend rachel's death, and could tell something wasn't right about it. there was a supernatural element that she couldn't explain. despite her best efforts to stop it, rachel was found murdered by an unknown entity. sam and dean winchester came across her obituary and came to town to try and solve the murder. when they realized that tess had seen the murder happen before it did, they let her help them with the case. after stopping the demon responsible, she begged the brothers to let her come with them to help solve cases, wanting to use her abilities for good. abilities include: seeing visions of a person's death in nightmares or while she's awake, touching something that belongs to the person and seeing more visions of the incident. she can see visions of unsolved, past crimes by touching a missing or dead person's belongings (often causes severe migraines). pansexual. fc ; odessa a'zion (alt: selena gomez)

stella cabrera. early-thirties. a warm, sweet small town girl that everyone loves. stella's mother is one of ellen harvelle's best friends, so she is very close with the family. she is a waitress at harvelle's roadhouse. heterosexual. fc ; priscilla quintana

twilight

abigail barrett. one hundred & fifty, appears mid-twenties. a trouble making vampire with questionable motives. she's known the cullens since relocating to forks. carlisle took her under his wing, but she rejected most of his teachings, opting out of eating animals instead of humans. she is constantly at odds with them, but when push comes to shove, isn't their enemy. pansexual. fc ; madelaine petsch

the x-files

zelda mulder. early-twenties. the daughter of dana scully & fox mulder. she grew up in the middle of the back & forth of her parents' relationship, but it doesn't faze her anymore. she was diagnosed with autism early in childhood & looks at it as a gift rather than a hindrance. she runs her own paranormal private detective agency & aligns with her father's persistence & sense of belief in extraterrestrials. pansexual / borderline asexual. fc ; margaret qualley

[mac-lilly]

🧩, 🎨, and🍦

Thank you! 😊

🧩 What will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

Bad formatting. Or like, the lack of it. I just can't read it if there aren't any linebreaks. On the other hand, the incisive use of it also drives me away. There's this hugely popular fic I cannot read because there are so many blank lines …

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

Unfortunately, I cannot share a link here. Hulibloom deleted all her art from IG. But one of her Juke pics is still my background image. But @60sec400 also sketched a scene from "Just one more night" and shared it on Discord. And I love it.

And there are many, many more.

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

I feel like I already did this for Bobby once. Alright. 1) He loves his daughter. His approach to parenting isn't the best. But he wants his daughter to succeed. He wants her to pursue her dreams. 2) He's smart. When he used Luke's songs, he made sure not to publish the ones that could give him away. But he also managed to keep up his image as a rockstar. Yes, his own music isn't as good as the stolen songs. But he kept himself in the business. After he couldn't use Luke's songs anymore, he didn't become an impoverished rockstar. He's still successful. He's still rich. 3) He would have gotten a redemption story. After apologizing to the boys and getting a bit bullied by him, he would have helped them fix the Caleb issue. It's just fandom's interpretation that's really rubbing me up the wrong way.

[lalei-doscope]

April 16, 2024

True Narratives and Testimonies

True Narratives is a story based in actual events. It is composed with an incident that you experienced or observed.

A true narrative essay is a true story, with plot, action, suspense characters and setting which delivers a theme (a lesson observed). The events in your essay represent the facts.

A true narrative is the most informal of the various types of essays, thus it does not follow a set format because you are telling a story according to your sense of style–the narrative voice (the art or process of telling a story or giving an account of something).

Testimonio or often called as testimonial narrative is a new literary genre. It has the same characteristics with autobiography because it is written in the first- person point of view.

But unlike an autobiography, which primarily revolves around the personal development or accomplishments of the author.

A testimonio recounts personal experience of an author being oppressed or has experienced and witnessed the lives of the people in the socially impoverished state and has become a victim of human rights violation.

It is also defined as a statement in support to a particular truth, fact, person, or claim.

Testimonio is different from academic papers since its main purpose is to call the attention of leaders to hear a plea.

Example of True Narratives and Testimonies

Nothing Extraordinary by Jennifer Kim

A Bird in the Cage by Shacyne Mondano

Introduction

Title: Nothing Extraordinary

Author: Jennifer Kim

Thesis Statement:

The author's shopping trip with her mom led to realizations. Initially feeling embarrassed to be seen with her mom, this feeling was replaced with deep guilt and shame as she came to understand the sacrifices and love her mother had for her.

Summary

The story revolves around the two characters. The author itself and her mother. It all started when they went shopping and she began comparing her plain-looking mother to other well-dressed people around them. Feeling ashamed of her mother's appearance, she tries to distance herself in the mall. When she eventually finds her mother holding an expensive sweater wanting to buy the sweater for her, Jennifer realizes her mother's selfless love and sacrifices. She didn't buy anything expensive for herself because she wanted to give everything to her daughter. And finally, she sees her mother's true beauty from within, feeling grateful and ashamed for her earlier embarrassment.

Evaluation

1. Develop an understanding of the main argument or purpose being expressed in the work.

The author's work is all about being appreciative and grateful for the existence of our parents. Acknowledging their sacrifices is must and not to compare them with anyone around.

2. Consider how the work related to a broader issue or context.

Nowadays, people often look or judge people around them on how they dressed or present themselves. This kind of mentality forbids us to look beyond the looks of everyone and not considering the factors and struggles they have been gone through.

3. State whether the writer is successful in making his/her point.

The author is successful making her point because as a reader I did not agree by the thought of being embarrassed with your mother by the way she present herself and it made me realized how important is to appreciate their simple gestures and intentions that has been too genuine for me to deserve. The author also explains her feeling of being ashamed, embarrassed and guilty during the situation which is just the exact emotions a reader would feel if they would be in her position.

Conclusion

1. Stating whether you agree with the writer or what part of the test made an impact deep impression on you.

The part of the text that made impact is when her mother was holding a sweater ready to buy it for her with a smile on her face. This is when it all sinks in to the author that her mother gave everything her and neglecting herself for the sake of her daughter. It will lead readers to understand that we should appreciate the sacrifices and love of our parents. Look beyond the appearances and not judge them based on the others especially whether they wear expensive clothes or perfumes for a reason that this won't define them as a person. She realized that her mother was extraordinary from within with her pure heart and intentions to give her daughter everything she could.

2. Back up your decisions on agreeing and disagreeing or state your reasons.

I totally disagree with the actions made by the characters in the narrative text. As a person who doesn't have a mother beside her. It's disrespectful and ungrateful for some child to be ashamed being seen with her own mother. They are lucky enough to have a mother beside them, to take care of them, provide their needs and shower them with love.

3. Give your general opinion of the work.

This work is short but hold a significant amount of learnings that a person can reflect to. It values the thought of appreciating simplicity and sacrifices of our family members especially our mother. It doesn't have to be that long to appreciate the goodness of the narrative. The whole thought has been emphasized by the author through simple words that everyone can comprehend.

[not-poignant]

Did Bunnymund ever figure out a cure for the numbing serum in Golden Age? And if he did, do you think Jack ever reunited with his parents?

I doubt he ever figured out a cure, honestly, though I'd say he kept working on it.

I never wanted Jack to reunite with his parents, and I also feel that the effects of the serum are completely irreversible within the normal lifespan, because they basically cause brain damage in the emotional processing centres of the brain. It was a horrible thing to do by a horrible despot of a person. The only person who ever really recovered was Pitch, and that's because he was given a moderated dose and had hundreds of years to recover, something that people who aren't golden soldiers don't have the luxury of.

And I don't think Jack would want to reunite with his parents. I remember talking about this in the comments, but like, that reunification would go something like 'hi complete strangers who don't recognise me, I'm here to tell you that your daughter is dead, but you wouldn't recognise her either, and I'm the only one who ever loved her throughout her life after I was taken to the creche.'

For Jack, that's not a fun thing to imagine, it doesn't bring him comfort, warmth, or a sense of 'family' to think about. His found, true family is Pitch, Eva, Anton, Flitmouse, Mihael, Seraphina, and the rest of them that formed around him and love him. It's not the two people who don't remember him and cannot love him. And if they could, they'd have to process the horrific traumatising loss of their daughter, and confront the horrific trauma that Jack himself had to endure, there's no real... /thinks/ I deliberately didn't want there to be a path back to those people for Jack. If he did it, I doubt it would bring him closure or happiness so much as like 'okay I did it, I met them, I have no idea who they are as people.'

There's something Pitch says in the story, which I think is true, though brutal:

‘Is that what you imagine, Jack? That you will reunite with them, somewhere in the peasant outreaches, and they can show you their impoverished farm and their empty lives and that you would all be happy together when you told them that your sister was taken by the Darkness? Is that the plan now? To go back to them and see for yourself how the numbing drugs have affected them and their love for you? It happens, you know. You could try your luck at it. Perhaps they’ll even recognise you. Except – would you even recognise them? Do you remember them at all?’

For some of us, found family is incredibly important. Sometimes there is no going back, and those stories are important (for me personally anyway!) to tell. But also, many of the crimes of Gavril are horrible, irreversible, and represent the monstrosity of his totalitarian approach to ruling a country. Those shouldn't be 'erased,' imho, that's something the nation has to grapple with, confront, and face together. I'm sure Eva and Toothiana will work on ways to support the parents and other folks affected by the numbing serum, but the reality is generations of poorer folk were basically lost and...there's real gravity to that.

That's pretty harsh of me I know! I guess I just...didn't want that for him? And I've noticed as a writer that if I really don't want something to happen, I try and eliminate as many paths to the thing as possible, partly because otherwise I think Jack would have already done it by now otherwise. :D

[bookaddict24-7]

REVIEWS OF THE WEEK!

Books I’ve read so far in 2023!

Friend me on Goodreads here to follow my more up to date reading journey for the year!

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188. Evil Eye by Etaf Rum--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I have a very short list of literary authors that I know are auto-reads for me--Etaf Rum is one of them. I don't know what sorcery Rum has over words, but her stories always seem to pull me in so completely. I feel so many emotions whenever I read one of her books and my only wish is that more people I know would read her books so I can discuss these books with them.

EVIL EYE begins with a mother who is starting to feel the weight of her married life and motherhood. While she definitely doesn't regret her daughters, she is starting to feel incredibly unsettled in the life fate has carved out for her. She vowed to never follow in her mother's footsteps and even though, on the surface, her husband presented himself as wholly different from her father, she is starting to realize that maybe, just maybe she hasn't made such different choices in her life than her mother.

First off, I want to comment the irony that we, as women, are sometimes truly cursed to find men who resemble our fathers. Some are lucky and others tend to find men who personify the lesser qualities in the fathers some women are trying to escape in the first place. But going off that, Rum also explores the complexities of family and how much we yearn for their approval and love even when THEY are the ones causing us harm.

Secondly, there is such a hopeful friendship in this book that I wasn't expecting at all. Whereas there was so much loneliness in Rum's previous novel, there is the hope of companionship in this one. I expected it to go one way, but I was so happy that she didn't go that route. It made the story feel wholesome in a way that the MC didn't get to experience during her home life.

I am not a part of this culture, so I honestly can't comment on the customs and the expectations. If I were to comment on that, it would be commentary on cliches and I'm not here for that. The way the MC reacted to everyone else making assumptions about her life based on her culture's cliches is enough of a warning that it is so easy to make uneducated assumptions. Sometimes all we have to do is read the story and hope that the MC finds what is best for her, regardless of her culture and its expectations.

Finally, though I do not have the same life the MC has, I found myself empathizing so much for her. There were times where I wanted to throw the book in anger on her behalf, and other times where I audibly gasped with the audacity of the caucasity of people, or the audacity of her asshole husband. The MC, despite the gaslighting and the condescension, navigated herself and her situation to the best of her abilities. She was such a strong character and I loved her not in spite of the flaws everyone else (including herself) saw in her, but because of them. She was imperfectly perfect and so relatable. She fought to understand herself and what she wanted.

I loved this book. I got angry, I wanted to cry, I laughed, and I was rooting for the MC all the way through. Another amazing read from Rum. I absolutely can't wait for her next book!

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189. My Fault by Mercedes Ron--⭐️⭐️

I won't lie, MY FAULT had me at the beginning. I love stories that have an MC move into a rich household because their parent remarried. I love stories with dual perspectives because it gives me a more rounded storyline. The beginning of this book felt very much like PAPER PRINCESS, minus the strip club and multiple brothers to be hellions towards the impoverished MC.

PAPER PRINCESS was messy, but it was a good and addicting mess. This was just...a mess.

MY FAULT was so insta-love that I got whiplash. It was the kind of over-the-top romance I would have read in my early twenties. It was toxic, a little too quick, and a little too easy when the relationship was discovered? It also reminded me of this KDrama I watched once where you never knew what ridiculous thing would happen next because they just felt so out of place.

Halfway through this book, we go from reading a bully stepbro romance to a suspense, potential stalker thriller novel. I get the infatuation with this, I do. But I do think that a resurgence of these books is a little worrying. At least it wasn't as bad as the kissing booth. LOL.

Will not be reading the sequel.

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190. Field of Screams by Wendy Parris--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

FIELD OF SCREAMS was another satisfying middle grade horror novel that featured a lot of the things I love in horror: The jump scares, the spooky moments, the new friends that help you solve the horror mystery, and the depth of emotion and exploration of character that well-written horror features. Parris' novel introduces a main character who is not only experiencing a sense of loss because she doesn't get to spend her summer with her best friend, but she's also still processing her grief over the loss of her father. We see this in her hesitancy in letting her mother potentially date a new man and start a new life. As the MC grows around this topic, we also see her exploring a ghostly mystery that appeared to have also consumed her father when he was a child. I thought this was such a sweet and haunting way of dealing with one's grief. I really enjoyed that aspect of how even though the MC feels alone, she has the memory of her father and this mystery to help overcome her anger and disappointment. I normally dislike how parents condescend to their kids in books like this because it feels like the adult author is inserting themselves into the story as a parent themself. It frustrates me because its an insertion of logic and meanness that so many older parents seem to hold against their children's experiences and imaginations. I think that Parris did a good job with this topic because it all leads up to an explanation as to why the parent was so dismissive and even angry with her child, the MC. Overall, I thought this was one and nicely spooky. The setting was really well done and the characters added life to the story. This felt very much like a great summer read for the young reader who wants a spooky summer story with heart. There's the pivotal middle grade crush, the mean girl who is experiencing her own form of grief, and parents who seem to just not get it. I recommend this for readers who love horror--but especially for any young reader who is also experiencing a harder emotional time in their life.

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191. Top Story by Kelly Yang--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I think this is my favourite FRONT DESK novel yet! I loved the setting and the exploration of the different topics that are always so impactful in Yang's stories.

We get to see various events happening and a surprising arc for our young MC, which just shows us how much she's grown, not just as a character but also as a person. We also see her continuous spirit that makes her such a memorable and important character for young readers to get to know. She fights against the injustices in her world and the racism she faces.

One of the main things I always love about these books is how Yang doesn't shy away from the bigotry and the racism that even children face, no matter whether this is a historical novel, or in her more contemporary novels.

I love this series and I think the books are incredibly inspiring. This is a must-read for fans of Yang and immigration stories from a kid's perspective as they navigate their ever-changing and expanding world. Also, LOVED the exploration of family and culture in this one because it was very eye-opening to learn about the customs and love found in a China Town!

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192. The Revenge of Seven by Pittacus Lore--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

This was a great and emotional follow up to the last book, which had a heartbreaking ending. I really appreciated the exploration of grief and how it can look so different from person to person. And even as this topic is explored, we still see the same kickass moments and the connections between all of these characters. We also get another piece to the puzzle of what is coming next.

I'm super excited to pick up the next book in this series!

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193. Video Night by Adam Cesare--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I really enjoyed this one by Cesare! It wasn't a perfect read, but it's honestly such a perfect Halloween season book. It was a lot darker than CLOWN IN A CORNFIELD and had a lot more Scary movie tropes, which is also incredibly fitting because it's set in the 80s, some of the best years of spooky films.

Keeping the fact that this is set in the 80s in mind also helps combat the misogynistic ideas that the characters had in this book. It all felt like it was genuinely taking place in that decade and it felt like I was watching a movie with all of these creepy moments. There were some serious jump scares and I remember questioning my life choices when I was reading this in the middle of the night.

If you enjoyed INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS, I think you'd like this. It's bloody, creepy, full of funny moments, and teenage hormones. Highly recommend!

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194. I Survived Hurricane Katrina by Lauren Tarshis--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

I really enjoyed this one!

Getting to know the family and the friends of the MC helped give this addition to the series a more rounded feel. Especially when we hear about the hope and belief people had regarding the magnitude of Hurricane Katrina. Overall, this was an enjoyable and truly terrifying read in the sense that it actually happened to people and so many lives were lost.

I did mention in one of my last reviews of one of these books how unrealistic some conclusions were. Trust me, I want happy endings for all of these kids, but I think this sometimes does these stories a disservice. Kids can handle the realities better than adults give them credit for.

Anyway, another fun book read in this series. I don't know if it will be my last since I'm starting to grow a little jaded with this series.

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195. Look Both Ways by Linwood Barclay--⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Although this was a very different Barclay story than his past works, I really enjoyed it. I liked the suspense of seeing what the cars would do next, and who the real villains in this story were--especially because with Barclay there are always a million layers and players leading up to surprise twists and reveals that we never anticipated.

I immediately thought that this book reminded me of that John Marrs book that featured rogue self-driving cars, but that's where the similarities end. These cars seemingly had their own personalities and I had to suspend my disbelief a bit. Despite all of that, I found the survival moments fun and not knowing what would happen next enough of a push to keep me reading.

I wouldn't recommend you start your Barclay adventures with this one, but it was a fun and quick read that will definitely keep a reader entertained.

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Have you read any of these books? Let me know your thoughts!

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Happy reading!

[dhampiravidi]

REGENCY*/BRIDGERTON OC: MU LAN

template from here!

BASIC INFORMATION

Full Name: Mu Lan [穆岚] (Eastern style) Also Known As: Leah Helena Moore, Martin Atkins Date of Birth: Sept. 24, 1793 (20 by 1813/S1) Sex & Gender: Cis-Female Race/Ethnicity: Chinese (Northeastern Xibe/Xībózú) Sexuality: (Demi) Heterosexual

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE (FC: Olivia Sui & Ming-Na Wen later)

Lan is a young woman who stands at 5'5" (1.65 m). She is initially thin due to her family's impoverished lifestyle, but she gains some weight and muscle mass while in the army. Her light skin tends to sunburn more than tan in extreme heat, and she has a few scars from her time as a bannerman. Her brown eyes are almost as dark as her black hair, which grows quickly but is kept at chin length just in case she needs to tie it up and pass as a man.

PERSONALITY

Sometimes, Lan's parents are exasperated with her, because she often is the opposite of the ideal daughter (in China or England). She is clumsy, independent, and outspoken. However, her kind smile and big heart tend to draw people in rather than push them away. She's also very determined, not to mention intelligent, as she quickly learned English once her family moved to London, knowing that they'd have an easier time if at least two of their seven family members were bilingual. It isn't often that she just "gives up" on any cause or opinion that's dear to her. One of her fears is that her loved ones won't ever accept her for who she truly is, while the other believes she'll dishonor her ancestors. Because of these, she occasionally uses two different English names (one traditionally female, one male). Lan was raised learning about the Gelug school of Tibetan Buddhism, and she knows that most of England is Evangelical (Protestant), but she hasn't found a religion that's really spoken to her yet.

HISTORY

Her family was quite unlucky. Though her parents were a love match (despite being in an arranged marriage), Mu Lan's mother Hua struggled to have children, and ultimately she only had 3 children: Yanmi (a girl), Lan (a girl), and Shi (a boy). On top of that, Lan's father Zhou was a bannerman (basically a soldier), and at that time, men in his profession were paid so little that they had to work another job in addition. He didn't mind farming, but an accident left him crippled, barely able to support his body weight without a cane. So his family worked the fields, and when Zhou was called to serve, his daughter went in his place, disguised as a man. She was gone almost an entire year before she was found out. Wanting to escape punishment and their impoverished situation (not to mention the frequent rebellions the country kept having to deal with), the Mu family went to England. A kind cousin who had joined the middle class by opening a dress shop specializing in silk (specifically custom items, repairs, and alterations) took them in. While there, Mu Lan learned English. Because her parents had taught her to read and do math in Mandarin, she was able to become a sought-after governess who specialized in language (even though teaching foreigners Chinese had been forbidden by the Emperor).

SKILLS

Languages: Mandarin Chinese, English

Disguise: she cross-dresses to go box or visit lower-class friends

Self-Defense: w/sword, archery, limited martial arts, boxing

Extra: horseback riding, lockpicking, sewing

*all this is in a lovely world where Great Britain didn't attack China for trying to end the opium epidemic (and restrict international trade) during the early 1800s. Instead, in the 1790s, Britain sent doctors and others who studied the human body to the East so China could benefit from the medical discoveries the West had made. Therefore, Britain could pay for the tea, silk, and spices they exported with something other than bullion or drugs. Also, China's opium epidemic came to an end within the 1st half of the 19th century.

[commajade]

hi!! i think ur the only blog i follow that has seen everything everywhere all at once yet lol (amaaaaazing film) so i was hoping ask: i feel like one of the biggest parts that stuck with me was waymonds genuine love for evelyn and her being able to let go of her shit enough to be able to accept it and let it bring her joy played a big part in her ‘happy ending’ and i feel like. i couldn’t understand why it couldn’t do the same for joy?? like why joy having beckys genuine love couldn’t do the same for her that waymonds love did for evelyn?? and i feel like the obvious answer is that joys relationship is not heterosexual and it’s less about her acceptance of the love in her life and more about the need for others to accept it but idk. i think somehow im trying to find an answer where you accepting your love without needing others to accept it can be enough, but it wasnt for joy and that makes me sad because it makes it seem bleak for me or anyone else who has love in their life that’s not enough….what was your take?? (if any of this makes any sense lol sorry if this is random)

friend i see where ur coming from but i think u misunderstood the movie and evelyn's storyline.

the love of a white girlfriend isn't going to heal the wounds of exile from ur homeland and being unable to connect with ur impoverished parents. it's simply not the site of the necessary work that has to be done in breaching that gap in understanding between u and ur mom.

there was always love, and love is why evelyn left her dad and her home, but love alone is never enough for immigrant stories. she always accepted waymond's love and worked very hard to keep it and justify it and keep them alive and at the beginning of the movie has failed all of these things. waymond wants a divorce and they're about to lose their home and income. love is never enough, there is always responsibility and duty and shame about the inability to fulfill these things in a way u might have been able to if u didn't take the risky choice and leave home. the possibilities haunt u because there's so many different ways ur life could've gone if you chose differently. maybe you could've spared urself a lifetime of pain, maybe the man wasn't worth it, maybe ur fucking up ur child when all u wanted is for her life to be better than urs. maybe she's headed where u r which is nowhere, which is hopeless, alone. there's always the pain and shame of exile and being unable to make a life for urself that ur proud of, being unable to escape poverty. there's a big emphasis on cycles in the movie and joy is about to do what evelyn did and leave her parents for an american life with the love she chose, and she is about to face the same kind of cultural exile and lifelong pain that made evelyn unable to appreciate and communicate with waymond for so many years.

deep lifelong pain doesn't go away when you fall in love and what evelyn goes through isn't simply realizing love is the most important, it is the necessary work of changing urself in the ways u have to for the people u love and going through what u have to in order to see what ur loved ones have been going through this whole time. and it's the most painful thing in the world. evelyn doesn't just temporarily let go of a lifetime of precarity and struggle with respectability and abandonment and lack of fulfillment to appreciate waymond and let it bring her joy. her joy is earned, she had to do a lot of difficult emotional work and was willing to sacrifice everything she knows about herself and the world to reach that point for the first time. her whole world had to be shaken up and she had to accept those changes and choose to not see life as hopeless and doomed but as something worth living and fighting for because of love. the sci fi framing of the movie shows that this is how hard it is for these gaps to be breached, the multiverse has to be torn apart for an immigrant mom to see her daughter clearly and stop her from leaving, to start healing and communicating and understanding each other instead because they need each other in their lives.

[the-greendalehumanbeings]

honestly why not make the sharmas a british indian impoverished gentry family living in somerset? there's clearly other south asians in england and the ton, the show could still show their culture and customs, but the voyage from india alone brings up a few issues. idk maybe kate had some suitors in somerset? but the timing was bad and she turned them down because her father just died, mary was still grieving, and edwina was like 10. since women were expected to leave their families to join their husbands, maybe none of her suitors had the money/accommodations/willingness to take her mother and sister in, so she chose to stay and take care of them instead. she becomes frustrated with these men and the idea of marriage, dashing her previous romantic notions of love matches like her parents or her dad and mary. being a naive 18 yo suddenly in charge of managing the household she didn't make the best financial decisions at first which made things worse, then asked the sheffields for help not realizing the extent of the situation with mary and her father (because she was so young when mary and her dad married, and they sheltered her from the harsher stuff the way she does with edwina now). now make it so that mary was absent in the first years but stepped up later (and show it!) and feels guilty so she's the one who asks lady danbury for help. kate actually tells mary about edwina's dowry thinking it was a good idea until mary fully explains what happened with the sheffields years ago and now she feels guilty. they get a proper mother-daughter character arc addressing their shortcomings and guilt. edwina becomes more aware of their financial situation and picks anthony (the rich titled suitor who cares about family so yay maybe he'll help them all?) because she (misguidedly ofc) feel like a burden and wants to repay the sacrfices kate and mary have made - edwina and kate both have proper character arcs revolving around duty to family for women in the era, which also serves to parallel anthony's arc about duty for a man. now there's a cohesive theme about duty vs desire for the season through multiple characters. and actual commentary building on s1 on marriage being how women survived in the era due to the lack of other options (edwina is not a golddigger 🙄 and kate's deal with the sheffields for edwina to marry a man of english peerage is a pretty typical goal for the women of the ton? the bigger issue is that they're terrible people whose love for family is conditional)

idk this is just me rewriting the sharmas in the show, trying to give them a proper backstory and spitballing ideas for character development, combining parts of the book and show, ofc it's not near perfect. i'm just coming up with possible alternatives to make sense of what the show was trying for but missed by a mile because of messy writing 😬 also me caring more about the female characters and women's relationships with each other more than these writers do 🔪

bridgerton is really lucky for the actors, they really sell their characters and work with what they're given, but even the best can only do so much with garbage writing holding them back

Yeah, I agree. They should have just come from Somerset. In s1, I think one of Daphne's suitors in the ton was played by a British Indian actor and had an English name as well (I think it was Lord Hardy). Then there was Lucy Granville, who had an English name. The changes to Sharma's backstory and Bridgeton's whole colour-conscious casting bring up many uncomfortable colonial implications. I cringe any time someone suggests Anthony visit India. Dorset was bad enough. We are just lucky he didn't mention yoga or anything about having a spiritual awakening when visiting India. Not to mention we all know what English aristocrats were up to when they visited India. Hopefully, next season the show and Anthony will stay far away from the topic of India.

Yeah, the season would have benefitted by having a theme related to all their subplots. I think it felt like there were more subplots than s1 because they didn't relate to the main plot. The subplots like the Ponzi scheme, Prudence, LW, Eloise and Theo, and Queen were all intertwined. Whereas the love story was completely separate from everything else that was going on. I also wish that Sharma's story arc explored women's lack of options and how vulnerable they were without a male relative/guardian. Making Kate's role align with Anthony was dumb. The books and the show seem to take the stance that wanting to marry for love = good debutante and marrying for money = bad debutante. And a lot of fandom seems to have internalised this, which is unfortunate. Honestly, I think it would have been fun seeing the Sharma's scheming to bag a rich man.

I think a large part of this S2's success is because audiences are desperate for romances with two good actors and great chemistry to match, which Jonathon Bailey and Simone Ashley delivered.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I agree with your Jily thoughts but wondering if you could talk a bit more about it? Why did James bother wasting all that time chasing Lily? Was she just that pretty? Were they ever happy or truly in love? Why did she say yes? If the war didn't happen who would have Jily ended up with? I'd like to think someone like Andromeda (not her exactly, but someone from a pureblood family who held non racist values) for James and i dunno maybe a muggle for Lily? Considering muggleborns arent exactly set up for success and I cant see Lily being okay with living as a second class citizen

For reference, some heretical thoughts on James and Lily's marriage. Also some thoughts on James which include some thoughts on his relationship with Lily.

And you really want me to get flayed over the internet, don't you anon?

Well, I guess that's what I'm here for. So here we go, hopefully people very upset by this sort of thing have their anti filters up.

Why Did James Bother Wasting All that Time Chasing After Lily?

For what it's worth, especially when they're teenagers before real life sets in, I do think James likes Lily.

She's very pretty, which certainly helps, but she's also very driven, very smart, and seems to be very personable (though it does not seem as if she is close with many).

Lily has a lot of likeable qualities beyond just her face that James could be interested in.

That said, there's also her background. I think, especially for a young James in Hogwarts, Lily being muggleborn would make her very appealing.

By pursuing her, he is actively spitting in the face of the Blacks, the Malfoys, and pretty much name your smarmy pureblood family. More, Lily is... not the token muggleborn per se, but the golden standard.

She's pretty, very smart, achieves very good results, again is personable, and all around pleasant. She's the muggleborn that defies the rules and you can take to parties and say, "Wow, look how amazing muggleborns are!"

Compare her to Snape, who is a halfblood, comes from an abusive household, is impoverished, is not good looking, and is not personable.

Notice that James and friends torment the living hell out of Snape, but it's cool, they're progressive because James likes Lily.

And then there's also the challenge of it.

Lily keeps saying no.

Rather than get discouraged, this just encourages James, as it means he's not trying hard enough. James seems to be the guy who likes the chase, if he wasn't, then he would have given up years ago as you said.

Were They Ever Happy or Truly in Love?

I imagine there was a time when they were happy.

They did date shortly in Hogwarts and it must have gone well enough for the relationship to survive graduation. If it was unbearably awful they would have broken up with each other long before that point.

Now, do I think Lily knew the full extent of how much James and pals harassed Snape? No.

Do I imagine Lily had to put up with a lot of talk about how progressive James and Pals are because Sirius has an ACDC t-shirt? Yes.

Do I think Lily's life without Snape proved very bleak and she faced a bleaker future with prospects of unemployment and poverty? Yes.

Do I imagine that Lily got in the way of bro-time for James? Well, he probably made bro-time happen anyway, but she must have to some extent and I'm sure Sirius asked him, "Dude?! What happened to us?!"

But again, if they really were miserable together, they wouldn't have made it to graduation.

In love?

Well, it's hard to say, but I'm inclined to say no.

In Hogwarts they're too young, they don't know enough about each other. They might be riding high on puppy love, maybe, but that's not the same thing.

What we see outside of Hogwarts points to constant stress and hardship that would ruin even the most functional relationship. The small glimpses we do have into their marriage then (that James would run off while in hiding with the invisibility cloak, risking all of their lives, for no reason) is not good.

I imagine as the realities of being in hiding, of having a prophesied child, sunk in their relationship fell into complete disrepair.

If they were in love, I don't think love could survive that, at least, not with these two.

Why Did She Say Yes?

God, you people are going to kill me.

Well, first, Lily as a muggleborn has no prospects and after losing Snape she has no friends.

Lily's last few years of Hogwarts are desperately lonely, James seems to have toned it down and appears to be one of the few purebloods sympathetic to her, and he really seems to like her. He has never wavered in liking her once over many years.

He seems like he's changed.

Perhaps, she can give him a chance.

I imagine Lily at first tentatively agrees to go on a date, and he is charming and funny, so one date turns into two and then they're officially dating.

As for marriage.

... Yeah I just have to say it, shotgun wedding.

They get married and have a child very quickly, and granted, that seems to be the norm in the wizarding world but remember their circumstances.

Both Lily and James are active fighters in Dumbledore's illegal vigilante group, neither appears to have a career (James being old money doesn't have to but I imagine Lily tried (and failed) to find one).

Lily is muggleborn. I don't care how progressive James' parents are, as the heir of a very wealthy and established pureblood family I'm sure they looked at this red-headed muggleborn without a galleon to her name and just died of a heart attack.

True, James was their only child and the product of many difficult years conceiving, and he's from a more progressive family but...

I just see the Potters and many other of the 'lighter' pureblood families having more of the philosophy of "Muggleborns should absolutely go to Hogwarts, get an education, and have a place in society. But don't invite them over for dinner."

That James is allowed to marry Lily very quickly, with seemingly little fuss, with seemingly no obligation of turning down a previously arranged marriage (though the surviving Marauders could have left out such details when recapping things to Harry), and how quickly Harry is born in the times he's born in...

Shotgun wedding.

If the War Hadn't Happened Who Would James and Lily Ended Up With?

Well, I think the shotgun wedding would have happened regardless. But let's say that's not in the books and that there's not a war disrupting things either.

I imagine the relationship doesn't work out as they realize they have different interests and are too different of people. There's very little tying them together.

James likely marries whoever his parents arrange for him to marry. A daughter of a well-to-do established, pureblood line. Which of these women this would be is anyone's guess, but somebody. Probably not any of the Black sisters as they're already accounted for.

As for Lily, I imagine she remains single for a good while. Everyone she knows in her age range is from Hogwarts, this world is very small, and she's probably not going to end up with any of them for the issues you list.

Purebloods really don't get it. The closest are... Arthur Weasley. And when he and Sirius Black riding motorcycles are the closest your culture gets to respect, you're in for a rough dating scene.

If she does end up in a relationship it's with somebody outside of canon or non-obvious.

(And look at me not plugging my ship because I know it's ridiculous. Be proud of me readers.)

[katnissmellarkkk]

Summary: At the Seventy-Fourth Reaping for The Hunger Games, volunteering is outlawed, thanks to a tribute four years prior. Because of this, when Katniss’ sister Prim’s name is chosen from the bowl, there’s nothing she can do but hope that Peeta Mellark, past victor and now Prim’s mentor, can somehow bring her sister home alive. (Obviously heavy on Everlark.) 

AN: Hi! I don’t really have a big author’s note or anything--at least, I don’t think I do? We’ll see how long this trails on--but this is one of the fics I’ve been working on for a while. It’s multi-chaptered so there’s gonna be a lot more coming in the future, but this first chapter is honestly a little similar to the original book, with some (significant) deviations here and there, but after this first chapter, this story becomes extremely different from canon. I gotta thank, obviously, @rosegardeninwinter​ for a). making me my pretty lil banner and for b). reading the million, unpolished, unedited screenshots of my drafts that I’m sure ya’ll got tired of really quick. And also for encouraging me to write this in the first place. And also, I gotta thank everyone who liked and reblogged the lil story edit I posted months ago for this concept. It really encouraged me to write this concept out. (I’m talking about this edit right here if you forgot or never saw x). Okay, anyways, I’m talking too much but thank you! Also link to this story on AO3 [x].

Chapter One :

I stare out into the sky, introspective, as I wait for familiar footsteps to approach. The footfalls of my hunting partner, my friend even, Gale, still remain absent, despite our longstanding agreement to hunt on Reaping Day, no matter how hot it is, or how scarce the game, or how worried we may be deep inside.

Of course, how could a couple kids from the Seam not worry about Reaping Day? At least a slight bit, deep down?

Reaping Day. The day that decides the almost absolute fate of a lucky—as our assigned escort, straight from the Capitol itself, so proudly proclaims—boy and girl.

We're District Twelve. The smallest and one of the poorest districts in the country of Panem. There's an almost guarantee that whoever gets their name picked from the reaping bowl, even the strongest eighteen-year-old boy in the district, will have an almost sure fate of death. Likely before the number of tributes drops below twenty.

Tributes from our district almost never fare well inside the arena.

Almost never.

We have had a few winners in history, two of which are still around, but a few out of seventy-three games isn't inspiring much hope in anyone today.

The wind breezes against my arms, prickling the hair at the back of my neck, and I'm struck by the memory of being out here, in the forbidden territory of the woods, outside our district limits, when I was just a kid. When my dad was the one hunting and I was just along for the ride. Just along because I wanted to be with him. When I used to blindly trust him and my mother, when I thought he'd live forever, when I was too young to truly grasp the concept of the Hunger Games. When I was too young to truly grasp the concept of the world in which we live.

When I was eleven my every illusion was shattered violently. Almost as violently as the death in which my father must have endured, underground in those mines, as they exploded.

I remember hearing the alarm at school, blaring so cacophonously over the speakers that it shook the schoolrooms themselves. I remember blindly grappling through the scurrying bodies of my classmates, until I found my way to my little sister, Primrose. Her room was completely empty, but she still remained, sitting behind her desk with small folded hands, waiting for my arrival with excessive patience.

I'd always coached her on what we'd do, if there ever should be a mine accident. I made sure she knew the drill, just as I knew it. Like the back of my hand. Like a prayer or a lullaby. I could recite it in my sleep. Because my father had just as sternly instilled it into me.

I wove my way through the chaos of bodies and white-hot panic, towing Prim only inches behind me by the hand, as the kids from town lingered in the hallways, their classic, bright blue eyes large and their voices all quivering, and as the kids from the Seam dutifully made their way to the nearest exits, hoping and praying and begging silently that it wasn't their parent who had been hurt. Hoping the accident hadn't taken what was typically the sole provider in most households, here in the poorest section, in the most impoverished district.

Prim and I must have not hoped hard enough, because we learned almost immediately upon finding our mother, who was now immobilized with grief, her characteristic gentle smile eviscerated and in it's place, a blank stare, void of any life at all, that our every fear from hearing that alarm were coming true.

My mom was supposed to get a job. She was supposed to find a way to provide for us, to take care of her two daughters, who were grieving her husband just as much as she was.

But instead she lay in bed day after day. On the good mornings, maybe if Prim begged and pleaded, she'd move to a chair, in front of the fireplace and stare at the flames with the same vacant expression that had replaced the loving, kind woman who'd raised us.

The money from the government, the minuscule amount of money given to keep us afloat until our mother found work, ran out. The meat our father had hunted, the plants he'd saved, ran out. The food we had the small luxury of sometimes buying—or more times than not, trading for—quickly ran out.

And our mother still did absolutely nothing.

I take a deep breath now and try to force myself to forgive her. Forgive her for not being strong enough to keep going, forgive her for not caring enough about her own children to keep them alive in the face of her grief, forgive her for being so in love that losing my father had almost killed her too.

I know it's what my father would want. And I know it's something I can't let myself do. Because if I let her off the hook, it's like saying it's okay that she almost let Prim wither away to nothing. Forget me. I will never forgive her for almost taking my little sister away from me.

Our mother did absolutely nothing until Prim's ribs were prominent, until my stomach was nearly hallow, until our cheekbones were so blatantly obvious you could count them from down the road.

And all my fears, all my resolve, to keep the three of us together as a family, went out the window. There was nothing left to do, but wait for me and Prim to be taken to the Community Home, with the other orphans or kids from unsafe families. Kids who still remained too thin, who's eyes told stories no ear wanted to hear, who still wore bruises upon their skin like freckles from the sun, who looked nearly worse than the corpses I encountered every winter, while walking from the Seam to town. Those corpses were the unlucky ones who'd actually starved to death, who had sat down to merely rest, because they had no substance to carry them any further, and somehow never got back up.

On that day, at eleven years old, living in the Community Home sounded no worse than living with the immobilized shell that had once been my mother. My resolve to hold out until my birthday, until I could get the tesserae that would feed my family for an entire year, was shattered by the harsh raindrops pelting me from the grey, unforgiving sky.

I vaguely heard the baker's wife, the mean-spirited woman, with her deeply embittered, hostile blue eyes that somehow seemed black, scream at me, calling me names, shooing me from her property.

I'd simply wanted to rummage her trashcan, so desperate for any small morsel to take back to Prim, any motivation to take even another step forward, when I felt her rough and calloused hands shove me away.

I toppled over, my legs already weak and shaky from lack of nutrition and substance. My depleted form laid on the ground, my eyes bleary from exhaustion and the shivering wind and rain.

The witch went back inside the bakery as I scarcely conjured up the will to sit upright. I was beyond done. The fighting to even gain a fraction of my mother's awareness, to get something, anything, to feed myself and my starving sister, to even stand up, became overwhelming and I felt the last bit of my resolve crumble from deep inside.

Let them come and take me and Prim to the Community Home. I don't care any longer. Let them come.

Out of the corner of my eye, a boy exited out the same backdoor the witch had gone through. He was carrying a bag of trash in his hands and my famished mind focused on that first, focused on what could be inside the contents of that bag, on what a baker could potentially be throwing away, before I realized the boy was in my year at school. I knew him, or at least, I knew his face. But he stuck with the other blonde-haired, fair-skinned town kids and I didn't even remember his name in that moment.

In hindsight, that's absolutely hysterical now.

But he evaporated as soon as he'd appeared and I closed my eyes and let the rain drown me, hoping perhaps I could be swallowed up within the downpour itself. Hoping that perhaps I'd never have to face the reality that I was out of options and I had nothing of subsidence to take home.

But then I heard a clatter and a clang and the sound of a scream. It was her, the witch. She was screaming and calling someone names my own mother had never even uttered in my lifetime.

I mentally prepared myself for her to come back outside, to drive me away with a stick or a knife. Or possibly even a hot, scorching prong.

But it wasn't the witch. It was the boy, the one from my year. The one I thought went back inside after taking out the trash, that I believed didn't even notice me before.

He was carrying bread. Two loaves, in fact. The crusts were black and burned and the welt across his face told me, without a doubt, that he was the target of the witch's insults. That he was the victim of whatever clanging noise I heard.

And though I was the one starving to death, I didn't envy him having her for a mother.

I remember vividly, the most crystal clear image I have of this day, the boy checking and making sure the witch's attention had been claimed elsewhere. And then, without even glancing in my direction, he tossed one loaf of bread to my feet. Seconds later, the other followed.

He didn't hesitate to head back inside after that, and I've spent more time in these last four years than I'd more than likely care to admit, wondering what possessed him to commit such an act of kindness. No one was kind for free, I'd learned by that point.

And yet, as I shook myself forcefully out of my stupor, and carried the loaves back to my house at the edge of the Seam, I had no explanation for his simple act. I had no basis to explain why he would help me, when no one else ever had.

The next day, I saw him at school. I passed by him in the hallway, and saw his eye had now blackened, his cheek welted, but somehow he still managed a joyous smile. He didn't notice me then. He was surrounded by his friends. Like always, he was surrounded by a constant crowd.

He is, after all, one of the most charming and sweet people Panem's ever known.

Later that day, when I was about to walk home with Prim, who was excitedly chattering about the leftover bread awaiting us on the kitchen table, the bread I'd brought home the night prior that had filled our stomachs for the first time in months, I caught the boy looking in our direction. My grey Seam eyes met his baby blues for a microsecond, before he looked away. I snapped my gaze downwards too, embarrassed, when I caught sight of a dandelion.

It was that moment that a bell went off in my head. That I saw how I could survive, how Prim could survive. How, through the things my dad had taught me, I could keep me and my sister alive.

After that day, I could never stop associating the boy with the bread, the one who gave me hope, with the dandelion that reminded me I wasn't doomed.

I never stopped associating him with his simple act of kindness, even when he became famous for some much less appreciable acts.

And I never stopped kicking myself for failing to thank him, for saving my life and my family's life, before he was whisked away, to a land far from Twelve, called the Capitol. When he later returned, now a part of a much more elite social class, thanking him for his kindness became even less of a possibility.

A girl from the Seam had no business seeking out a boy from Victor's Village. Even if I did have the guts.

Though he isn't exactly in good company here in Twelve, seeing as the only other person who holds the same title is a drunken, middle-aged man who can barely form a coherent sentence most days and lives like a hermit by his own volition.

My thoughts are interrupted by the quiet—almost as quiet as mine, but not quite—steps of Gale.

"You're late," I state without turning around, pulling the cheese from my pocket. "You're lucky Prim's cheese held up under the sun."

But Gale pulls something even more impressive from behind his back. "This will probably go nice with it," he says and I almost gasp.

Fresh bread is so rare in our district, generally reserved for the Peacekeepers and perhaps a merchant who is having a good day. Here in the Seam, fresh bread from the bakery is as common as new school shoes.

Gale updates me on his day as we split the bread and cheese and have our own version of a small feast. He'd gotten to the woods early, while I had been still at home, and shot a squirrel to which he traded for the bread.

"The baker really went for that?" I ask in disbelief. The baker was a subdued, large man, who resembled all three of his sons quietly strongly, and was one of my dad's best customers. Sometimes I think he still trades with me and Gale out of respect to my dad's memory, but a simple squirrel for a loaf of fresh bread isn't common.

"I think he was feeling generous this morning," Gale suggests a little snidely, his bitterness leaking through. "Besides. It's not like the Mellark's need the money they ask for bread. They could easily skim off their precious son and he'd probably never notice."

Gale has a special affinity for hating anyone and anything associated even minimally with the Capitol. He was lost his father in the same mine explosion I lost mine in. But whereas I don't let myself get too worked up over the inequities between the town and the Seam, and especially between us all and the victors, Gale takes a special pride in fuming over the things he cannot change.

I don't mind listening usually, since neither of us can speak our minds in public or even within our own homes, out of fear small ears will pick up on our words and repeat them elsewhere. But today, I just don't have the energy to be a sounding board.

Instead I take a segue towards a slightly different topic, but one, without a doubt, weighing on both our minds. "Prim has been having nightmares of the reaping," I murmur solemnly. "She's convinced they're going to call her name."

Gale shook his head, his demeanor becoming more subdued now. "Least Prim's name is only in there once, Catnip. Rory had to take tesserae this year."

I nod silently at that admission, knowing what it must have cost him to even allow his little brother to take additional risks of being called. Knowing it meant his family of five must be even more hungry than he leads on.

We don't say much more after that, only lingering in the woods long enough to catch some additional game from what I've already collected, and hurry back to town to trade.

As we walk back to the Seam, having divided up our goods evenly, Gale murmurs suddenly, "I might be able to stomach the idea of Rory's name being in that bowl six times if we were still allowed to volunteer."

I bypass his words the best I can. I don't want to think about what Gale must be going through, making himself sick with worry, not for himself but for a sibling in which he considers himself responsible for. And, as it happens once in a lucky moon, I feel grateful that my tesserae is still sufficient for a family of three, and I don't have to worry about Prim the same way. Her one entry pales in comparison to the thousands that are piled in that bowl.

Still, the silence between us as we walk is deafening and I can't take it any longer as we come closer to my house. "At least then, you'd get to see the Capitol," I say lightly, as a means to brighten his mood, even just a little.

At that, Gale rewards me with a humorless smirk. "Generous of the president, isn't it? To allow us district people to experience the great Capitol firsthand while they slaughter our family."

And it's true. Just a few years ago, it was allowed to volunteer as tribute in the place of whoever's name got chosen, as long as you were the same gender and between twelve and eighteen on Reaping Day.

But four years ago, when a twelve-year-old boy volunteered for his seventeen-year-old brother, an outrage sparked across the entire country. People are never happy, in any district, to see a twelve-year-old be chosen for the games. They're the youngest, the smallest, the most innocent, and never in history had a single one made it past the Final Fifteen in the games.

So when one volunteered, the country wasn't pleased in the slightest. However, like always, the anger was contained by Peacekeepers in a matter of weeks, and promises came pouring out from the Capitol that a change would be made after the games that year to ensure never again would this situation occur.

And it never again could. Because three days after the Seventieth Hunger Games, President Snow announced that all volunteering, from that point forward, was officially banned.

This new law is even more ironic when you realize that the twelve-year-old volunteer from that year became the youngest victor in the entire history of the games.

Still, I suppose the president was feeling generous that day, and he threw in a bonus treat for us in the districts. Now when someone is chosen from the reaping bowl, though their fate is sealed definitively when their name is uttered, they get to choose one family member to take on the train ride to the Capitol with them, to get a special viewing of the games with the mentors and the sponsors and the past victors, to get to experience the wonder that is the mysterious Candy Capitol firsthand.

However, when all is said and done, twenty-three family members must ride the train home alone to their districts, with their loved one in a casket beside them. The thought chills me to the bone and I shiver as me and Gale wish each other good luck. We probably won't see each other again until it's time for the customary dinner we all try to put on with our neighbors to celebrate, even minimally, that we've survived another year unchosen.

Prim is already wearing my first reaping outfit when I enter the house, though it is a bit large on her. She's slimmer than even I was at Twelve, despite her having months on me when I attended my first reaping.

I get ready quickly, if only because I want to spend time with her before we have to go. I protect Prim in every way I can but I'm powerless against the reaping.

Still, she's only entered once and that's as safe as anyone can get from being chosen. It's almost unheard in the Seam to be that safe from the games.

But my sister never did appear like she fit in here anyway. Her golden blonde hair and sky blue eyes resemble the merchants, not the Seam, and her and our mother stick out like sore thumbs next to our neighbors.

Our mom is restless now, busying herself with preparing the food for our small feast tonight and braiding Prim's hair and then mine.

I still haven't fully forgiven her for leaving us when we needed her most, but I also can't imagine how difficult it must be to have to send both your children off to be potentially chosen for an absolute death. And I let her hug me as I guide Prim out the door.

Attendance is mandatory for all in the district, but the ones viable for being chosen and those just watching don't typically enter together.

I guide Prim by hand into town, the walk feeling longer than it did with Gale. Perhaps it's the trembling twelve-year-old I'm towing, or perhaps I'm more afraid than I'm even admitting to myself.

After all, unlike my sister, I have twenty slips with my name splayed across this year. It's not as a bad as someone like Gale, who has forty-four chances of being called. But it's not as safe as the kids from town, who likely only have to worry about a handful of slips with their names.

Its not that they're rich by any standard, but they get by better than those in the Seam. Even if they're hungry, they're not at risk of starving, and no one is going to sign up for tesserae unless there is no alternative.

A year ago, my mother let it slip once over dinner, just out of the blue really, that my father had always sworn no child of his would be in need of tesserae.

I shake my head, as if to physically rid myself of the reminder. I don't want to dwell on what my father would feel if he were here. I don't want to be reminded how different things would be if he hadn't died.

I help Prim sign in and then drop her off, as gently as I can, with the other girls her age. At the last minute, she pulls on my hand, yanking me back to her with surprising force.

"Prim, I have to go stand with the sixteens," I say as she leans up and kisses my cheek.

"I just wanted to say I love you," she whispers softly, her big blue eyes so terrified, and then she steps back into the crowd of twelves surrounding her.

I sigh softly and give her what I hope is a reassuring smile. She truly is the best of our parents. Kind, smart, level-headed. She's funny and resourceful too, even if she can't take hunting animals herself.

She is the only person I'm certain that I love. And just about the only thing that keeps me going most days.

As I make my way to the sixteens, straightening my mother's dress on my hips, I check the clock. Only five minutes before we start. Before our lovely Capitol escort, Effie Trinket, reads off two names in her distinctive, afflicted accent. Before two kids know they're never coming home again.

This place isn't much. But it is all we've ever known, and no one wishes to leave it.

As more people crowd in, I begin to pick up an excited buzz in the girls surrounding me. Already knowing what I'll see, I crane my neck just the same, to peer up at the stage ahead.

Sure enough, I see exactly what I knew I would.

There's four chairs set up on the stage. One for Effie Trinket, because no one from the Capitol could ever bear to stand for more than three minutes at a time and she must have a seat to relax in before she calls out the names and sends two of us—a lucky boy and girl, as she says it—to the slaughter.

One of the other chairs is occupied by Mayor Undersee. A man who looks like he's been beaten down by life too many times as it is and would rather be anywhere but here. His daughter is my age. She sits with me at lunch, since Gale is two grades ahead of me and we rarely see each other at school. We make polite small talk but other than that, I barely know anything about her, and by association, her father.

However, it's neither of them that's stirring up the buzz within the crowd—admittedly, more so with the female portion of the crowd—and it's definitely not Haymitch Abernathy, who's stumbling on stage right at this moment. He managed to win the Fiftieth Hunger Games and I still can't imagine how. He's a paunchy man my mother's age and he's never sober, on the rare time he's even seen in public. Today is no exception, as he flops onto a chair gruffly, and murmurs something unintelligible with his eyes closed.

No, the murmuring, the now batting eyes and coy smiles, the soft vibrato still traveling within the crowd, are all because of the last guest of honor, walking upon the stage right behind his old mentor.

Peeta Mellark.

Winner of the Seventieth Hunger Games. Youngest ever. District Twelve's first and last volunteer. The twelve-year-old that changed the rules for the entire country.

The youngest mass murderer in history of Panem.

And now one of it's most beloved celebrities.

Peeta is smart—brilliantly smart—and he's always been charismatic. Even at twelve, he had the Capitol audience, as well as every single soul watching on television at home, eating out of the palm of his hand.

It doesn't hurt that at sixteen, he's become quite a looker. His blonde curls, his blue eyes, those long lashes and bubblegum pink lips. His fair, perfect skin that has not a blemish in sight. His toned, muscular body and devastatingly genuine smile that no one can help but fall in love with.

He's also the boy who saved my life. The one who committed the simple act of kindness, knowing it would cost him, to help me.

I never thanked him. And now I never can, as I'm sure he has zero memory of me. After everything else that's happened to him since, after the last four years of living as a Capitol darling, as one of the country's most cherished victors, he'd never remember the starving eleven-year-old he threw some burned bread to in a rainstorm.

But I remember him. I don't know if it's what he did for me that day or what he did for his brother only a matter of weeks later, but something about Peeta Mellark crawled under my skin four years ago and ever since, I've never been able to completely shake the feeling I get inside upon seeing him.

I break my gaze away, refusing to stare at the boy, who I will always accredit as the one who saved my life. I venomously refuse to gawk at him, like every other girl in the district.

He rarely comes out of his house when he's home here in Twelve, and I know the overzealous amount of attention he receives just by going to his parents' bakery has to be at least a part of the reason. Unlike Haymitch, who has lost his clout and his appeal with age and with deterioration, Peeta has only gained more and more notoriety as the years pass by.

You'd be hard pressed to find anyone in Twelve, outside of a few outliers like Gale perhaps, who'd say a negative word about Peeta Mellark.

Of course, rumors about his random and long stretches spent in the Capitol itself are always floating around, no matter what time of year it is, but they don't affect his public persona or anyone's opinion of him. He is, after all, the most valuable figure Twelve has and perhaps the only thing we can take any pride in.

Effie Trinket steps up to the microphone just as I turn my head away from the stage. "Welcome!" She greets, so vivaciously, so brightly, I can't imagine it even resonates in her head that she's just moments away from announcing two of our impending funerals. "Welcome, everyone! To the reaping for the Seventy-Fourth Annual Hunger Games!"

I can't even bear to listen as she prattles on, with too much confidence and dignity for someone dressed in every neon color known to man, speaking in such a peculiar accent, with a thickly painted face that is so blatantly visible to the every eye here today, even in the back row. Doesn't she realize how ridiculous she is to us? Doesn't she realize how wrong it is to preach about the morals and disciplines of the Capitol, in such a prideful voice, when they're the ones about to murder us for entertainment, and in repentance for a long over war that only a few elders can still remember?

As I advert my eyes, my gaze travels once again to the back of the stage, and I'm more than a little surprised to see Peeta Mellark with a similar expression as mine. He, too, is shifting his eyes elsewhere, away from his own escort, looking sick to his stomach.

Of course, it still can't be easy for him, even with his own games four years in the past. He was a literal child when he volunteered and it's fact that he didn't understand what he was getting himself into when he took his brother's place that fateful day. His innocence was stolen as soon as the countdown ended and talk still circulates, even in the Hob, that he wakes up screaming most nights, calling out the names of fallen tributes. Though those words are not given much weight in the Seam, as we all know, people get bored in this tiny district and bored people begin to spew lies whenever encouraged.

Effie continues, in a long overdone mantra, one I could recite in my sleep, the same one she spews every year, that two kids from every district must be chosen to battle to the death in a new and invigorating—one of her favorite words—arena, in order to pay for the blood shed during the rebellion and war, in order to ensure we'll never again even think to rebel.

It would almost be easier to swallow, this whole charade, if the people sent from the strange land of the Capitol would just be honest and blunt with us. If they'd just admit that they see us as lesser than, as animals or beasts of some sort, as less than human beings. It'd be easier if the Capitol spokespeople would just outright say, "we'll take your children, we'll starve your district, we'll ruin your homes, we'll broadcast the deaths of those you love most, all to keep you too powerless to fight. In order to make sure you never are able to stand strong, we have to kick your legs out from under you first."

Instead of being honest though, Effie Trinket is reiterating the Treaty Of Treason, in a tone so serious that it takes all the self-control possible to stop several boys standing in the fourteens from bursting out laughing. Her accent and a serious tone do not mesh well together.

Once she's done though, my heart automatically skips a beat. Because, after four years of standing in this square, I know exactly what's coming. "Ladies first!" Effie announces and I feel a bead of sweat glide down my forehead, both from anxiety and from the overload of heat. Reapings always take place in the start of the hottest month of the year.

Standing in my mother's well-crafted dress, one of the most luxurious pieces of clothing we own, only makes my perspiration worsen, as the dress was clearly made to keep the wearer as warm as possible.

Our district escort makes her way over the bowl containing the names of every girl eligible to be picked in the entire district and I feel myself take in a breath involuntarily.

There's twenty chances she's going to call out my name. Twenty chances I'll be sent to an almost imminent death. Twenty chances Prim will grow into her teen years, and later adulthood, without a sister.

The gut-churning fear I'd repressed all morning, in that moment, overtakes my entire being, curling up like a ball in the pit of my stomach, as I do my best to listen on baited breath, somehow expecting to hear my own name spoken through the raucous microphone for all to hear.

Don't be me, I whisper inside my head, more fearful than I'd ever admit out loud. Don't be me. Please, don't be me.

And, as it turns out, it's not me.

Instead it's the name I never in a million years thought I'd hear. The name I believed to be so safe I didn't even allow myself to worry about her.

"Primrose Everdeen!"

[theangrypokemaniac]

@nyarthsis

First of all, it's symbolic.

No reason was ever provided why Jessibelle looks so much like Jessie. It would've been simpler and more instinctive to invent an entirely new design. Instead, it was decided to turn them into identical strangers.

I can't see what purpose this serves other than to validate Rocketshipping. As his fiancée, Jessibelle is the romantic figure in his life. Whether he likes it or not, James is in a relationship with her, albeit a long distance one.

The intention is for he and she to be married, but the similarity between the girls invites viewers to picture Jessie in that role. It's hard not to, since the Jessibelle is simply Jessie from the upper class. Whatever way he turns, he's fated to fall in with a red head.

Bear in mind also that this idea has not sprung from thin air. Up to this episode, Jessie and James have often acted like a couple in all but name: rowing, hugging, holding hands and inseparable. People may have had an inkling beforehand but this confirms suspicions.

Remember James's parents too. Yes, they selected Jessibelle for him because she's wealthy and presumably from a good home, but they genuinely appear to have affection for her too, and want her to join the family.

Since James ran away it could be concluded that Jessibelle replaced him in their lives, explaining that relationship. Maybe in these circumstances she went from being just a suitable future wife to the daughter they never had, and like adoring parents, they can't see any wrong in her.

Plus, the reason James gives for leaving home was Jessibelle's demanding nature, asking he use the right spoon and do things a specific way.

To Ma and Pa, that's commendable behaviour: she's merely trying to mould their wayward son into a gentleman. That he won't accept instruction just shows him to be difficult.

Personally, I don't think what she asks is so bad. He's got a cosseted life, waited on every minute, due to inherit billions from parents who didn't walk out, and can really have anything he wants.

It's got to have some catch, if only to be fair to the rest of us. Yet having to conform to a set of exacting rules of etiquette isn't really so awful, especially when it's all you know, and everyone in your social circle follows them, as in they aren't expecting anything they wouldn't do.

Considering that James rejected these in favour of joining Team Rocket, whereas Jessibelle remained a law-abiding lady, it looks like she was right to try and curb his instincts, as see what he got up to when left to his own devices.

If all Ma and Pa cared about was money and background, they could've found anyone of that description for James, even an ugly bride, but they made a point of selecting a pretty, decorative candidate, suggesting they like her appearance too.

Add all this together, and it could be said that, whatever Jessie and James feel for one another, any happy ending is an impossibility The gulf in status is just insurmountable.

Ma and Pa would never welcome Jessie, a poor thief, who's led their son astray, over a refined example of femininity, polished and sophisticated, and certainly not when they love her.

Choosing Jessie means James may well be impoverished for the rest of his life, and he's known luxury, so going without it is more obvious than it is to her, who grew up deprived.

Jessie and Jessibelle are similar in personality too, except that the latter is not always violent. I don't believe her ladylike manners are an act, I think she really is like that most of the time. It might well be that the 'dominatrix' routine is a one-off, to punish James for abandoning her.

Jessibelle is actually quite a tranquil person. She never loses her temper, barely raises her voice, and remains calm and controlled throughout. As a wife, that may be what James can expect.

Jessie however is constantly on the edge, forever losing her temper and dispatching her fists. I don't blame her for that; it's how life has shaped her.

At worst, James will be beaten by Jessibelle, but has all that moolah as consolation. With Jessie, a beating is the norm, and he's poor and starving. It'd be understandable of it all got too much and he decided he's better off at home.

The resemblance between the girls smooths out many of these obstacles. If James refused to obey his parents, and presented them with his choice, who was the complete opposite of who they had in mind, it'd be too jarring to tolerate. They'll have spent years imaging what it'll be like to have Jessibelle in the family and her giving them grandchildren.

If it's Jessie, then it's easier for Ma and Pa to accept. She fits into their dynastic fantasies to the snug level that an outsider might not notice the difference, and maybe they'd occasionally forget it hadn't all gone to plan.

As they want heirs, James has to be intended to find Jessibelle attractive, so they can't say they don't know what he sees in Jessie.

Much of her inner rage is probably frustration over failure and general unhappiness. If that's alleviated, she'd be far more laid-back, and so not so unsuitable to high society. Ma could offer a little instruction then.

The second thing is the events leading to this situation. Yes, James couldn't cope with marrying Jessibelle, and so, when away from home at Pokémon Tech., he ran off.

Before this, he encountered Jessie, as in a girl the exact image of the one he wanted to escape.

That meeting is an accidental twist of fate, and can't be helped, but to James it must've been the universe conspiring against him. He'd have believed it was Jessibelle initially.

If he hated his fiancée to the depths of his soul, every bit of her, he ought to have run for the hills. How could you stomach being around someone that similar to all you'd gone to the trouble to avoid?

Instead, he not only befriended Jessie, but stays beside her from that day. He joins the Bike Gang with her, enters Team Rocket with her, and walks over the world with her.

Every single day he has a reminder of Jessibelle before him. He absconded, but she's inescapable, and he decided to make it that way.

Why would this be?

It's as if, whatever he says to the contrary, he does like Jessibelle. He wanted to leave her behind, but not her face, and found himself a replica.

Somehow, Jessibelle telling him what to do was unreasonable, but he wanted her, without that element of control. He then found Jessie, who not only orders him about, but hits him, yet that's alright, as long as he has a certain level of freedom.

If he's in Jessie's company every minute of the day, he can't resent her appearance. In turn, that implies he likes it, and so he must fancy Jessibelle. If that's so, he has to also be attracted to Jessie.

The funny thing is that Rocketshipping and Rumishipping aren't rival ships, they're two sides of the same thing. If you support one, you must accept the other, else yours can't exist.

[laventadorn]

Part 1/2 I was wondering if you had any ideas/headcanons wrt Eileen/Tobias? JK doesn't really go into how they met, but given the little info he gives us its pretty clear the type of marriage they had. But, I was wondering why Tobias acted the way he did. Not that he needs a reason, but I love backstories. Do u have one for the Snapes? Personally, I sawa bit of parallel with how Seamus described how his muggle dad didn't know his mom was a which until after the wedding. I can sort of see...

I wrote one for my first HP fic, in fact! Heavily influenced by Jane Austen lmao

I would change some aspects of this now, but this was the version I dug up from my Ancient Writings: 

(readmore, y u no work)

Eileen’s parents’ marriage was arranged, as many pure-blood marriages are. The Princes were a very old, distinguished line, but impoverished, while her mother’s family was relatively new, in a pure-blood sense, but wealthy. Her parents set up the marriage with Mr. Prince, who was rather older than their daughter, but she agreed to it. However, within a short time she was unhappy, since her husband, raised to frugality, was rather miserly and she was spendthrift; and being younger, she wanted to do a great many things that it was not in his temperament to agree to. When Eileen was about five or six, her mother ran away, abandoning her child and her marriage, eloping to Europe with a lover. Her husband was so humiliated and enraged that he forbade anyone in the household to speak her name ever again. He destroyed all evidence of her existence in the house—the possessions she had left behind, the paintings they’d had commissioned, even renouncing her personal house-elf. Even when he learned, three years later, that she’d died in conditions of poverty and hardship, it didn’t soften him toward her; instead, he only believed she had got what she deserved.

When Eileen was seven, he remarried, this time to a widow, one of the Blacks, who had endured a childless marriage of some fifteen years until her husband was killed rather stupidly trying to learn how to ride a dragon. She had no wealth, but Mr. Prince still had his wife’s fortune, and Mrs. Black’s impeccable bloodline meant more to him in any case. She and Mr. Prince were rather meant for each other, however: both were nip-farthings, both joyless and cruel, and both rigidly traditional. They believed in duty, propriety, and unstinting obedience from their children. 

Mrs. Black, now Mrs. Prince, thought worse of the former Mrs. Prince than even her husband did. To her, a woman’s infidelity was the worst of vile sins, and she pitied her new husband for having married such a filthy whore. She was sorry that the former Mrs. Prince had left behind a little girl, since naturally the daughter of such a whore would turn out just like her. 

But Mrs. Prince was determined to do her duty by Eileen. She raised her to be a proper pure-blood wife—dutiful, obedient, graceful and silent. She beat into her the importance of propriety, telling Eileen how vital it was that she give no one any cause to say how like her mother she was, however much she would surely have the same sort of base, wicked urges as that slut. She also impressed upon Eileen the necessity of marrying into a pure-blood family of stature, since her mother was a fine example of the rubbish that rose to the surface of bad blood.

Within a few short years, the new Mrs. Prince had rewarded her second husband with twin sons. These boys had the benefit firstly of being boys, always a plus in pure-blood families, as well as the added bonus of not having a piece of trash for a mother. The practice of favoring the sons over the daughters was standard in pure-blood families, but the sins of Eileen’s mother worsened her lot. Nothing Eileen ever did was right enough or good enough or proper enough in the eyes of her family; and at school she had no friends, since the pure-blood daughters of Slytherin were fully aware of her mother’s story and had been forbidden from associating with her. Eileen was not pretty, and her home life was too miserable to make her good enough company to compensate for her other defects. Her father pretended she did not exist, her brothers teased and tormented her, and her stepmother ruled her whole life with a fist of iron. 

Eileen retreated into her schoolwork, into books and knowledge. In second year she did make one friend, a Ravenclaw named Constance Marlowe. Constance was a very tranquil person. Her mother was Muggle-born, and she would tell Eileen about her Muggle grandparents. Eileen had never met Muggles. Her father and stepfather loathed them, but they loathed Eileen, too, and loved her brothers and the pure-blood families who treated Eileen as if their cruelty was simply preempting every nasty thing they suspected she would ever do. 

Then in fifth year, while visiting the sea shore on summer holiday, Constance drowned. Eileen went to her funeral, to which many of Constance’s Muggle relatives had come. They looked like regular people, although they dressed funny. After that, Eileen hated the ocean, but realized that Muggles were capable of human thought and speech, which her family had always led her to believe they weren’t.

When school ended, she returned to live at her father’s house, since pure-blood women of her family’s stature did not get jobs; they got married. But with Eileen’s reputation, her looks, and her father’s desire to spend as little money on her dowry as possible, she received no offers. Her blood was not even decent enough, balanced as it was by her mother’s betrayal. So for more than ten years, Eileen lived in her father’s home, a companion to her stepmother, an object of mockery to her brothers and the children they went on to have.

By the time she was thirty, everyone, even she, was certain she would never marry. Her stepmother even came to relax her restrictions, since she had kept Eileen wrapped so tightly out of a duty to maidenly propriety. A thin, unattractive thirty-year-old witch was not likely to be prey to any lascivious attentions or whims. Uncaring now of the reputation she had so viciously guarded, Mrs. Prince let Eileen out of the house for longer periods of time … although she might not have, had she known Eileen was visiting Muggle haunts.

On one of these jaunts, when she was about thirty-one, Eileen met Tobias. She had gone, in fact, to the seaside town where Constance drowned, perhaps out of a morbid desire to torture herself. He was there, too, trying to get away from his life for a bit, since he’d just gotten divorced. 

He had married young when his girlfriend got pregnant unexpectedly. He’d done his duty by her, quitting school and going to work at the mill, but a few months before the day he met Eileen, his wife had sat him down and said she’d fallen in love with some other bloke, but she wanted to do right by Tobias because he’d always done right by her. She and he weren’t in love, hadn’t been since the very early days, even if they’d rubbed along together easily enough, and he said as long as he could keep seeing his girl, they’d be all right. So they divorced amicably, and she married the other bloke, who was a bit older and balding and sort of fat, but a jolly sort, which Tobias had to admit he was not. Lorraine’s new husband looked a bit like Santa Claus to Tobias, and he knew his daughter would like her step-father, if she didn’t already. And although as a young man he’d agreed to the marriage of necessity and had never really been bitter about it, happy enough with his wife and daughter for company, he had wanted more from his life than he’d wound up with at thirty-five: divorced, uneducated, in a dreary, pointless job.

As she was talking with him, Eileen realized she wanted more than anything to get away from her family. She realized how purely she hated them, as if the hatred ran through her blood. She decided to scandalize them utterly: packed up her marriage chest and ran away, to live with Tobias without marrying him, hoping to drive her father and step-mother both to an apoplectic fit, but at least one or the other if she could manage it. 

So she and Tobias simply lived together for a while, until Eileen got pregnant. She had been guarding against this, but the magical world had an old wives’ tale that wizarding babies wanted to be born so badly that sometimes, you couldn’t stop them. When she told Tobias, he wanted to get married, and although she didn’t really, she didn’t want her child to suffer the ignominy of being the bastard of a whore. So they were married, very quietly, only Tobias’ ex-wife in attendance with her family. Not wanting to give birth to a daughter that would live the life she’d had, Eileen mixed a very Dark potion to ensure the birth of a son.

So Severus was born. She put an ad in the Daily Prophet, hoping her family would see it, in case it would give them an aneurism. 

Before Severus was born, but when she was close to due, Tobias asked her if the baby would have magic. Eileen said, “It is likely, but he may not.”

“What happens if he doesn’t?” Tobias asked.

Eileen shrugged. “Then he doesn’t.” She wanted her son to be a wizard, but she was no longer in the magical world; a Squib child would not matter to her now. She had brothers; she was not even the end of the line. 

It was impossible to tell if babies had magic, so for several years after Severus’ birth it was a moot issue. Eileen continued to work spells, because Tobias said he didn’t mind, he actually thought it was pretty interesting. And then one day when Severus was about four or five, he worked magic, and out of nowhere Tobias blew up at the pair of them. Eileen was so shocked she actually flinched away, because although she knew Tobias had a temper, he’d never turned it on her. Severus burst into tears. And then Eileen pulled herself together and reacted, rage and hatred boiling up out of her through her wand, and she turned it on her husband, the way she’d always wanted to do to her brothers, her father, her step-mother, the children at school, and she blasted him across the room and into the bookshelf.

Severus screamed. Eileen stood frozen, looking at Tobias’ unconscious body slumped under an array of books. She blasted them off him and found he was bleeding from cuts all over his front. She hastily flooed them all to St. Mungo’s, where he was swiftly patched up. Although the Healers gave her funny looks, they did nothing to her because she was a witch and he was only a Muggle, and there weren’t legal protections in those days for the Muggle spouses of wizards and witches.

Tobias wasn’t the same after that. Eileen didn’t know whether it was the shock of her turning her magic on him, or Severus’ own magic manifesting, or even the trip to St. Mungo’s, because his face as he looked around the hospital as they left had been haunted. After that, he began to drink more. Although he’d always had a few on the weekends and even more on holidays, he was soon never seen without a drink in his hand or the scent of alcohol on his breath. He wouldn’t tell Eileen what was wrong, and it was impossible to get anything from the mind of a drunk person; even trying it made one disoriented. 

She expected him to leave them; expected to wake up one morning and find him gone, but for some reason he never did. They settled into a life where Tobias would go for days avoiding her and Severus, hardly speaking to them when sober, muttering when inebriated, with occasional outbursts of temper that Eileen would sometimes curtail, but at others simply weather out. As a young child Severus was at first frightened, then hurt, and once he grew older, resentful.

Once, when Severus was about seven, she did wake up in the middle of the night and find Tobias in Severus’ room, watching him sleep. Tobias was just drunk enough to be honest. He looked up at her with haunted eyes and said, “Do you hate that I can’t do it?”

“Do what?” she asked, bewildered.

“What you can do. What he can do. Do you hate me because I can’t?”

Eileen just stared at him. “Is that why you act like this?” He didn’t say anything, just looked back at Severus. “No, I don’t hate you. That would be like hating the sky because it’s blue.”

When he spoke, she almost didn’t hear him. “Sometimes I hate you, though. Both of you.”

It took Eileen much longer than it should have to understand what Tobias was really telling her: that he hated them for being able to do something he never would. He hated them for having the power of magic when he was only a Muggle. That look on his face in St. Mungo’s had been shock at an entire world he’d never guessed existed; and now that he knew of it, he also knew he would only ever be on the outside looking in.

But she had not understood this in time. She resented his drinking; he resented her powers; they resented each other’s resentment. And at the heart of it, they came to hate the other for a second chance that had turned to ash, just as the first chance had. 

Eventually Eileen realized that the same barrier that stood between her and Tobias had blocked him off from Severus, and she simply quit trying to bridge it. She drew Severus into the circle of her magic, eschewing any acknowledgment of the non-magical world he was half a part of. She had always meant Tobias to show him that part, and now Tobias would not. She taught Severus about his magical bloodline, the House of their family’s allegiance, the world he would enter once he was old enough, the powers he would wield. Although she punished him if he looked in her books without her permission, she taught him hexes and curses and spells that would get him respected among his Slytherin peers, that would receive him the notice of families he would need to impress in order to gain entrance into the society that should have been his—both of theirs, had her life gone much differently. She raised him more as she had been raised, in a manner typical for pure-blood daughters: with strictness and not much indulgence, because she’d loathed the men her brothers had become, alternately indulged and ruthlessly punished as they had been, as the beloved sons of two cruel, cold-hearted people. 

In teaching Severus about the world she had left, sending him off into the future he ought to have, Eileen realized she had never been happy in the world of magic. She had known the truth of that, lived it all her life, but never articulated it to herself. But she was not happy in the Muggle world, either; she did not understand it, couldn’t navigate it. It was too vast and unfamiliar for her even to know where to start. As she prepared Severus for Hogwarts, Eileen realized the only time she had been anything close to happy was in that seaside town when she had met Tobias, and she had believed, for a handful of days, that the future would be different from the past.

But it hadn’t been. Now Tobias was gone, and only Severus was left. And even though she had tried her hardest to make it otherwise, she realized that Severus was just as out-of-place as she had ever been; she, the daughter of a whore, the pure-blood wife of a Muggle with a wizard for a son. Severus was the child of two people whose lives had been wasted for them by others; sent as hardly more than a baby into the world of pure-blood politics with such a tiny arsenal of anything they would see as promise, in love with a naïve Muggle-born Gryffindor. If Severus wanted the Muggle-born, he would cut all his chances of entering good society; and if he got the Muggle-born, he would find himself in the midst of people who regarded his magic with jealousy and suspicion.

That was the true curse of the half-blood, she thought. You were always trapped between worlds that didn’t know how to claim you.

.

.

.

*Snape doesn’t have those uncles anymore cuz they died off somehow, and he doesn’t have contact with his dad’s first family. He doesn’t strike me as someone who has a large extended family he pals around with, although I’m sure they exist. I have 1 jillion cousins I know absolutely nothing about, not even their names.  

[dracula1958]

“Of course you know why you are cut off.

According to you, your daughter stood in front of you at the baseball game and TOLD you why. I presume she used words you understand in a language you both speak. Thus you DO know.

I can understand you did not like the delivery method. But the delivery method does not affect the MEANING of the words, nor does it invalidate her feelings or opinions. You may feel justified in turning off your listening because you didn't like her delivery, but that's not helpful at all for you. It's like refusing to accept your paycheck because you want it printed on a pink check not a green one. The money is still the same. [....]

I can understand that you may not agree with whatever it was she told you is the problem--but again, that does not mean there is no problem. She told you in a language you understand what the problem is, and you understood her meaning. That you disagree with the problem is immaterial. It's still a problem whether you agree with it or not. It will be a problem forever until you deal with it. Saying, "I don't understand the problem" when you really mean, "I don't agree this is a problem" will not make the problem go away. It will make the person who DOES think it a problem go away--and you had a 8 year cut off demonstrating that principle.

If your daughter thinks it's a problem, IT IS A PROBLEM, whether you agree or not. SHE--not you--has the final say on whether she has a problem with you or not. Here again is a power struggle between you: HER: "This is a problem", YOU: "I see no problem". Guess who's going to win this debate? Not you. [....]

This game of 'I don't understand what happened' when you have been told in words what's wrong is really counterproductive. Yes, it permits you to shield your ego/self esteem from criticism and 'exposure' of your inadequacies in the relationship--but it loses you the relationship.

In order to solve the problem, you have to decide what is more important to you: your daughter and grandchildren, or your ego and belief that you are innocent of doing anything but little insignificant wrongs. It's very common, especially for people from abusive backgrounds who were not adequately nurtured as children, to stop protecting their egos--way to threatening. And many--especially if they have other emotional outlets (such as a supportive spouse and friends)--will choose ego over a relationship. It's easier and more comfortable--but ultimately very self defeating and impoverishing.”