#because on the surface what plays out leaves a lot to be desired

[acapelladitty]

NSFW Alphabet: Cooper Howard

Summary: A full NSFW alphabet for Cooper Howard/The Ghoul from Fallout (2024).

Fic Masterlist

Link to AO3

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Pretends that he's not needing anything after sex but actually loves it when his partner wraps themselves around him like a second skin. Won't ever admit to it, but the way his arm snakes around to pull them even closer is hint enough to his real desires.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Likes his hands because they're quick and dexterous, and can justbas easily gut a gulper as they can seek out and tease a clit. Not much pride in his own appearance aside from that. He's also a tit man and the pillowy softness of them is so opposed to his own body that he only enjoys them more, usually with his mouth as much as his hands.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Sterile as all fuck, he can do what he wants with his cum and it makes no difference. Enjoys the taste and likes oral because of it. He does love for his partner to hold onto his cum though, either by swallowing or by pushing it back up their holes with his fingers. They earned it so they're going to keep it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Has experimented with his new abilities as a Ghoul in some interesting and intense ways. Usually pushing the edge of pleasure and pain as he tests his own limits. His leathered skin is less sensitive than most so he's spent some of his more boring nights doing things to himself that would have a normal man in fucking hysterics.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He knows his way around a hole that's for sure. He slept with one or two folks before Barb but he was pretty monogamous after that despite the sleaze of his acting career. He and Barb did share a very healthy, vibrant sex life and he was eager to experience new things with her but nothing too outside of the 'vanilla' realm.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Seated with his partner riding his lap like any good cowgirl should. The close skin-to-skin contact, plus the easy access to their chest, makes it a firm favourite as he's generous with his tongue and teeth. Plus, it lets him enjoy their facial expressions and hold some eye contact as he drinks in their pleasure.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Never 'goofy' is a daft sense but isn't above using filthy talk and double entendres while cracking a wicked smirk. Lots of word play around his status as both a cowboy and a monster and he likes to remind his partner of BOTH of those facets of his personality.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Look at the poor cunt 😭 he's a great big baldy bastard with nary a pube on him. The only hair he has are the follicles that fall off the folk he occasionally scalps.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Surprisingly romantic given how gruff and generally detached he is, but only with a romantic partner. A random fuck gets a casual pump and dump while sex with a partner has some meaning for him and he likes to feel his partner close and ensure that they have a good time with him.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Not at the top of his priority list in the grand scheme of things. If he's feeling horny then he'll deal with it and leave the mess splattered on the ground where it fell.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Roleplay is a kink of his and he would be at his happiest role-playing a very traditional "cowboy saves a damsel and she's looking to repay the favour" type scene. His most 'out there' kinks include a mild touch of erotic cannibalism, ropework, and dom/sub dynamics relating to discipline and cnc.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Strong enough to make any vertical surface a viable spot for a fuck, there are very few areas that Cooper can't turn into a good spot for sex. His preference is for a bed though because he can be a lazy fucker when it suits him but that's an indulgence he's very rarely afforded.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Very easily motivated if he can sense his partner is down for a rough tumble in the sheets. All he needs is a WHIFF of a chance of hole and he'll be rubbing himself across you like a cat in heat. Hand straight to the groin like it was magnetic.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Sharing his partner? Oh no. He'd fucking kill any third party before they could do anything too untoward. He's jealous as hell and volatile with it as he claims so little in the shithole that is the wastelands. Will threaten to tie his partner up and leave them for the raiders and beasts but that's just a horny threat.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

One leftover from his previous life is his love of giving oral. His wife loved it and he loved receiving it in equal measure. However, with things as they are, he'd rather get his rocks off in warm hole when the opportunity and time arose.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Normally? Fast and rough. However, in the quieter moments when the sun hangs low and he feels relaxed enough to enjoy some time with his partner, he takes great pleasure in some slow and sensual sex.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Due to his circumstances, quickies are often the only option for some hole so if he and his partner are frisky then it's as and when the potential arises.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

I think choosing to fuck someone in the wastelands automatically qualifies as a considerable risk. But, yes. He's fond of risk and it's something that he'll continue to push and push until he's satisfied.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Ridiculous stamina. The kind of stamina that will have smoke pouring from your hole if he's not careful lol. As a ghoul, his skin is slightly desensitised so he can go for longer but usually only lasts one good round.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Not really a big fan of toys (finds his cock and mouth MORE than capable thank you VERY much) but will use easy-to-access objects like his lasso and knife for some kinky play.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Only teases when it's a game he's playing. Most of the time, he's looking for some quick, rough action that he and his partner can enjoy in their limited, quieter moments. In terms of vocal teasing? He's very quick to spout off with some sleazy promises and demands.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Tries to be very controlled but does have a tendency to grunt and growl a lot which makes him more animalistic than vocal in terms of his speech when he's fucking someone.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Cooper would like to eat a little bit of his partner if they were willing and had the bit going spare. Most of his meals are a necessity but to have a willing offering would be quite erotic and a big deal for him.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

His cock is the same shade as the rest of his skin but with a slightly deeper tone in his cockhead. Very average length but on the girthier side with a slight lean to the right when he's fully erect. No pubes, obviously.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Makes a lot of inappropriate comments and touches which would have you believing that he's constantly looking for some tail. That's only true because he tends to be hornier in high-stress situations which, unfortunately, is most of the time.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He doesn't sleep much and there's something possessive in him that makes him happier watching over his fucked-out partner as they sleep rather than sleeping himself.

[astroa3h]

Composite Mars in Libra

Blake and Ryan are the epitome of what we imagine as the “ideal” couple—good looks, great banter, and a picture-perfect family. But with their Composite Mars sitting in Libra, you better believe that all those smooth, Instagram-worthy moments might be covering up a whole lot of tension bubbling beneath the surface. Composite Mars in Libra is frustrating because it’s like trying to drive a car with one foot on the gas and the other on the brake. You both have desires, needs, and ambitions, but instead of going after them directly, you’re caught up in this endless loop of overthinking and second-guessing. It’s like, “Should I say something? Should I not? What if they get upset? What if it’s not the right time?” Honey, by the time you’ve decided whether or not to make a move, the moment has passed, and you’re both left feeling like, “Why didn’t we just do something?”

Now, let’s talk about conflict—or rather, the lack thereof. Mars is all about action, right? It’s the planet that drives you to fight for what you want, to assert yourself, to claim territory. But in Libra, Mars is like, “Ugh, do we have to fight? Can’t we just talk it out?” And while talking is great, sometimes it just turns into endless debates where nothing actually gets resolved. You both might end up tiptoeing around real issues because neither of you wants to rock the boat. The result? Resentment. Deep, simmering, passive-aggressive resentment.

You might find yourselves in situations where instead of confronting issues head-on, you both play this subtle game of one-upmanship. It’s all about who can stay the most composed while silently stewing inside. The problem is, this doesn’t just create tension; it creates distance. You might start to feel like you’re walking on eggshells around each other, never quite sure when something small will blow up because it’s been left to fester for too long.

In relationships, this can be downright toxic. You’re supposed to be a team, but with Mars in Libra, you might feel like you’re constantly in this unspoken competition—who’s more agreeable? Who’s more accommodating? It’s exhausting! And when it comes to decision-making, don’t even get me started. You could spend forever weighing pros and cons, trying to find a solution that makes both of you happy, but end up doing nothing at all because you’re too afraid to make the wrong choice. It’s paralyzing.

And then there’s the bedroom. Mars in Libra wants everything to be balanced and beautiful, which sounds nice, right? But sometimes it feels more like performance art than passion. You’re both so concerned with making sure the other person is comfortable and satisfied that you forget to actually let loose and enjoy the moment. The result? A love life that can feel a bit…meh. All the ingredients are there, but the heat is turned way down because you’re both too polite to really go for what you want. Composite Mars in Libra can make it hard to trust each other. Not because you’re dishonest, but because there’s always this underlying question of, “Are they just saying that to keep the peace? Do they really mean it, or are they just trying to be nice?” That doubt can erode the foundation of your relationship over time, making it hard to feel truly secure with each other.

So, what’s the bottom line? Composite Mars in Libra will create a relationship that looks perfect on the surface—like one of those glossy Instagram couples—but underneath, it’s all about unspoken frustrations, missed opportunities, and a lot of unfulfilled potential. If you don’t address it head-on, this placement can slowly drain the passion and vitality out of your relationship, leaving you both feeling like you’re stuck in a beautiful but lifeless partnership. My advice? Don’t be afraid to get messy. Stop worrying so much about keeping the peace and start focusing on keeping it real. Otherwise, you risk ending up in a relationship that’s more about appearances than true connection, and darling, that’s no way to live.

Blessings,

Ash ✨

Get your own reading at astroash.net

[libraincarnate]

astrology notes: 2 🌱

quick note: i'm absolutely not an astrologer. these are just a culmination of some observations, thoughts, theories, and personal experience. with that being said, i'm still learning along the way & i may come back to edit this post to make corrections. above all this is just for fun. lastly, keep in mind that i’m not reading your birth chart and i know nothing about you. these are just some possibilities that may or may not apply to you. enjoy!

🕊 gemini in the 1st house:

curious about yourself and wanting to understand yourself. you like learning about yourself and may enjoy self-improvement. wanting to know why you like/do this and that. quick to notice something new about yourself like a new interest, hobby, desire, style, physical change, habit, and personality trait.

scorpio in the 1st house:

there is no point in hiding from yourself. the pain, traumas, things of the past, your dark side, fears, all these things are brought to the surface so that you can see and deal with them. this is needed to bring about the transformation. to shed the old skin.

capricorn in the 1st house:

confronting yourself. your flaws, your bad traits, the choices you made, what areas you lack discipline, being hard on yourself, being aware of your strengths and weaknesses. it causes you to be honest with yourself. to reflect on yourself, to be and do better. 

^ having one of the 3 placements above can make someone very self aware and introspection can one of their strengths.

🕊 positive aspects between asteroid kiss (8267) and venus: being a good kisser, you love kissing, probably kiss your lover a lot, and you’ve been told you’re a good kisser.

🕊 2nd or 8th house stellium: money being a prominent factor in your life whether it be due to inheritance, marrying someone wealthy, having a job involving finance or managing money, or people giving you money just because.

🕊 capricorn in the 5th house: may initially feel like you aren’t creative but later you start to see that you actually are. someone who takes their talents seriously. might struggle with finding a balance between work & play. you can feel guilty and lazy for having too much fun, guilty when you’re not working which makes it hard to relax and enjoy your hobbies.

🕊 mars/pluto in 6th house: you’re light headed and about to throw up why are you still forcing yourself to work? you might need to pay attention/listen to your body more. learn to balance the energy you put into your work and health. if you work too hard you can get sick, and if you’re sick it’s hard to be productive which leaves you miserable. you are human, respect your limits. learn how to take a break.

🕊 aries moon men have the prettiest eyes.

🕊 having a lot of opposite aspects: can make you feel split, half & half, or like a walking paradox. you’re this but you’re also that, you are the synonym and the antonym, you’re both night and day, gray because you're both black and white. this can mean you have an interesting personality yet some confusion when it comes to understanding yourself and others understanding you.

🕊 lilith/venus in the 11th: your friends tend to have a crush on you or flirt with you. but lilith here might make your friends more hesitant to flirt or pursue you romantically. you could have a beloved/alluring/powerful presence on social media, easily attracting followers and building some kind of a presence because there is “something” about you.

🕊 taurus: when it comes to taurus & food (hear me out lol), the emphasis is usually on gluttony. this can be true but wait, there’s more!

food brings comfort (might be emotional eaters), cooking might make them feel beautiful and sensual, cooking for themselves is a form of self care and self love and cooking for others can be a love language. sharing a meal can create a bond and connection with others. their creativity may be used & seen in the recipes they create.

taurus is also associated with the mouth/throat and venus (taurus’ ruling planet) & venus is associated with pleasure so it makes sense why they like to eat.

furthermore, they could be farmers, gardeners, or be interested/knowledgeable in gastronomy, agriculture, or herbs/plants.

🕊 uranus-moon aspects: struggling with emotional stability which may lead to rebellion or acting out of order. may not be able to rely on your mom, and instead could find comfort in your friends. philanthropic deeds or making a contribution to society can be cathartic and liberating.

if you read this until the end I hope you enjoyed it & thank you so much for reading. ♥︎♥︎♥︎, those hearts are for you. 

[warmilksz]

😩How would they confess to you? 😳

Hello everyone it's been a while, I'm almost done with college 😁🎓 I can't wait to get out ong.

Anyway 😜 I hope this reading brightens your day, even if it's a little bit❤️

**just a disclaimer: take what resonates and leave what doesn't for others. Go with the flowwwww It's a general reading (⁠~⁠￣⁠³⁠￣⁠)⁠~**

Centering: if needed before selecting a pile close your eyes and inhale for 4 seconds. Hold whatever is on your mind. When ready, release the thoughts for 6 seconds. Repeat as needed and select the pile that calls to you 💕

1. I'm getting for this pile they would be hesitant to tell you but only because they seem so shy when it comes to their romantic feelings ( aww so cute🥺 ) You drive them crazy with your energy and u don't even realize how much of an effect you have on them and that just makes them more interested lol. You light up this person's world like dynamite 🧨. I feel so happy typing this lol I think that's their energy with you and they are ecstatic just to be in your presence but they may play it cool on the surface. So once this shy person works up the courage to show their honest feelings, They would probably approach you when you are in a nice mood and alone. To make sure it's just you two. For example, if you really like art, they would catch you while you were working on a fun project. Then all the excitement they feel for you will come up and manifest as stuttering and they may get really sweaty from the nervousness. idk why I'm saying this but cut this softie some slack pile 1 😭 ( are u a bully to them?😭)

2. Hmm this pile feels more solem than pile 1. Alot more serious this time. This person would show signs and u might get a feeling about their confession be fore they even tell you (😳) You may catch them staring at you lost in thought in the middle of a conversation or during a lecture or something similar. If you call them out they would be like " oh it's nothing" and pretend it didn't happen. Don't worry, this is just them sorting out their feelings so that when they confess they will be 100% sure about how they feel. They will think about their words and even when and where to tell you, they'll plan it all out. They seem like a serious person and they want to be sure about the person they like because they love hard and don't want to be hurt again ( aww 🤕) . The image I'm getting When it's time to confess is that they will want a private setting and be really close to you, they will maybe hold your hands and tell you that they like you and why.

3. For this pile, this person is confident. Don't get me wrong they are human lol so They have the normal nervousness that comes with confessing but they hide it well! Beneath the surface they worry you won't be impressed with them so they may put on a facade. In order to have you they will risk their pride and will fake it till they make it! They will be sure they like you when they confess and that they can be the person you want/desire in more ways than one (whoa 😳 ...) This person will do their best to sell themselves when they confess to convince you to give em a chance. They may mention how they can take you shopping, drive you around in fancy cars and can make you yell their name if u catch my drift (they want you bad 🤭) if you were to reject them they would have a "whatever, idc" vibe Infront of you and then cry when they are alone😭 It's interesting because they appear kinda desperate for you but also as if they dont care if u reject them, but we know that's just a front 🤭. 4. Whoa this person is kinda funny lol. They might joke a a lot with you and you will already know this person when they confess. They feel familiar like a friend, this my friends to lovers pile 😉.They probably the type to send you random memes during the day. In any case they may be self-depricating tho 😭. Kinda like pile 1 they will be nervous but they are also scared of your reply because you guys will be close friends when they confess. But they seem to be determined to let you know so they are gonna stick it out till the end (gots to see it thru ma boy) They will approach you as if they are just trying to hangout with you and then after buttering you up with a few jokes they will drop the fact that they like you . If they are really playful it can probably come off as a joke and you may have to pry (I see you asking them "what do you mean by **insert flirtatious joke here**"🕵️‍♀️) to get them to clearly say "I like you"😭. Thanks for reading

[thefreshprinceofjunes]

soriku endgame: an imagining

OKAY WELL HERE IT IS

TEN WHOLE PAGES OF HOW SORIKU ENDGAME MIGHT ACTUALLY PLAY OUT

i was rewatching vin play RE2 and fsr this invaded my thoughts and wouldnt leave

this is barely proofread and i reused a lot of the same words/phrases BUT its just meant to be an outline/abridged version so keep that in mind

(if i got any lore wrong tho pls let me know)

btw if you dont want to read this on tumblr for whatever reason, heres a link to the google doc

note: this is going off the assumption MoM saw everything (or at least everything soriku) through the gazing eye

scene is quadratum probably. master of masters (or whoever the bad guy in kh4 is) has sora and riku caught in a bad situation (for temporary visuals im picturing something similar to the dark guardian restraining aqua and ven in kh3)

sora and riku are struggling to break free, while the MoM just laughs. some kh dramatic banter occurs, before MoM changes the subject and starts monologuing (with sora and riku probably interjecting here and there)

MoM: [to sora] you still havent figured it out yet, have you?

MoM: dont you ever wonder why rikus heart holds as vast of a darkness as it does?

MoM: its not because of jealousy, or ansem, or even his desire for strength since you were children.

MoM: no, its much simpler than that.

MoM: remember that dream you had, sora? before the islands were destroyed?

MoM: there was a voice speaking to you, from deep within your heart:

MoM: 'the closer you get to the light, the greater your shadow becomes.'

MoM: well, the road goes both ways, kid. the deepest of darknesses can only come from the brightest of lights.

sora: wh-what are you saying?

MoM: its been in front of all along, but you were too blind to see it.

cut to voiceless flashbacks of all the times sora encountered the brightest light: when receiving the keyblade, when almost pulled out of sleep by the memory of aqua on DI, during the dive to heart at the beginning of kh3 (assuming it really happened and wasnt just for gameplay purposes), and after using the power of waking at the KBG (the tunnel scene)

sora looks at riku, then back at MoM. riku is grimacing.

sora: that… that was… that was rikus light?

MoM: bingo!

MoM: but theres even more to it than that.

MoM: theres another force of power in this universe that keeps light and dark in harmony

sora: another…?

MoM: you feel an unfathomable depth of it in your heart for, well, pretty much everyone youve ever met.

MoM: what lies in rikus heart, however, comes from the same place, but is also very, very different. its something you claim to not understand, even though youve encountered it many times during your adventures.

rikus eyes widen and he tries to interject, but the MoM physically stops him; sora calls out for him

MoM: its more than just friendship. its hearts that are really, truly connected between two people.

MoM: think about it. think about all the times when everything seemed hopeless, but something, something, kept the bad guys from winning. it wasnt light.

cut to voiceless flashbacks between many of the disney couples sora has met: the beast arriving at hollow bastion out of sheer force of will in his search for belle, flynn sacrificing himself for rapunzel and her tears bringing him back to life (some shit with will/elizabeth and sam/quorra too maybe idk), and finally, herc gaining his strength back as he rescues megara from styx, followed by herc saying, 'people always do crazy things when theyre in love.'

sora stares ahead at nothing in particular, before wincing in pain; suddenly, a forgotten memory surfaces in his mind (if the convo with NS confirms he hasnt completely forgotten, then its the key details that have been missing):

rikus sacrifice in the KBG

riku calls out for him and struggles, but MoM just laughs so more.

MoM: there, now its coming back to you. and that wasnt the only time riku sacrificed everything for you, yknow, although it was probably the most heroic instance. remember him taking on ansems form to beat roxas? and his dive into your heart to wake you from slumber, despite the tremendous danger? you only met her briefly, but one of the princesses of heart experienced something very similar.

MoM: aurora. maleficent placed a curse on her when she was a baby, causing the princess and the rest of the kingdom to fall into a deep sleep on her 16th birthday. but the heir to a nearby kingdom, prince phillip, valiantly fought his way to the castle, and woke up the sleeping beauty– through a kiss. a kiss, of true… 

MoM trails off and looks at riku, then back at sora, expectantly. riku is still struggling to free himself before the truth is revealed, but its no use.

sora stares off again, before looking MoM in the eyes.

sora: … love…?

MoM does jazz hands and poses.

MoM: ding ding ding ding! we have a winner! it only took you, what, 12, 13 years to figure it out? honestly, i just couldnt stand watching it go on for any longer.

MoM: but, hey, i still have my honor. if im wrong, im more than happy to apologize.

MoM turns to riku then.

MoM: well? am i wrong, riku?

riku doesnt respond, and MoM sighs dramatically.

MoM: still no answer? okay, guess well have to do this the hard way.

MoM starts hurting sora, causing him to cry out in pain while riku watches helplessly 

MoM: come on, riku! do it! use your true strength! unleash the power hidden within your heart!

sora gasps and winces, barely getting out rikus name 

suddenly, theres a bright flash of pink energy (maybe rikus eyes also turn dream eater pink too?)

(if the power of love is too cheesy even for kh, then maybe its a black and white darkness/light combo attack)

riku breaks free of whatever MoM did to him, and then channels the energy through his arm, blasting it through soras restraints.

unfortunately, sora was being held in the air, and starts to fall– but in the blink of eye, riku is there to catch him in his arms.

MoM laughs in triumph and draws back slightly.

MoM: there we go!

MoM then shrugs.

MoM: well, this was fun, but ive got places to be. and im sure you two have a lot to talk about. toodles!

MoM disappears, leaving sora and riku in stunned silence.

after a moment, riku sets sora down and turns away from him, avoiding soras gaze.

sora meanwhile takes a second to catch his breath, before staring at riku with wide eyes.

sora: r… riku… is… is that...? is that really… how you feel?

riku clenches his fists at his sides and stays turned away. after a pause, he responds.

riku: … even if it is, it doesnt matter.

sora: what do you mean?

riku: i know… im not the one for you.

riku takes a deep breath.

riku: … when you were put to sleep for a year to fix your memories, some of them found their way into xion. they happened to be your most important memories– the ones you couldnt wake up without.

riku: those… were your memories of kairi. and xion took on her appearance because of them.

sora is stunned, only having been vaguely made aware of what happened in that year.

sora: k… kairi?

riku nods solemnly.

riku: yeah. and the only reason your memories got messed with in the first place is because the organization forced namine to make herself the person most important to you, instead of kairi.

sora pauses.

sora: you mean… castle oblivion.

riku nods again.

sora watches, before feeling a pain in his heart and grabbing at his chest instinctively.

underneath his hand, he can feel the cold metal of his crown necklace.

and thats when it finally clicks.

everything blurs, and theres a sudden rush of memories.

(maybe a memory sequence that you actually play through?)

sora, holding kairis wayfinder in castle oblivion. suddenly, the memory gets static-y, like during soras memory restoration.

cut to namine confessing to sora shes not the girl he cares about– but every time the word is feminine, its distorted by video static. (this is how we fix the aitsu thing)

"no. the g̸͓̦͙̫̮̦̠͗͐͗̊͑̕͝i̷͖̝̝̱̐ͅͅŗ̸̄̆̓̆̊̄̿l̶̮͉̦͓͔̹̀̂͗͝ͅ you care about...the one who was always with you... its not me. its ḧ̴̳͔̻̾̇e̵͚͂̀r̸̺̣̠̓̂̀̚."

cut to namine speaking to sora before he goes to sleep.

“but theres another promise you made—a promise to someone you could never replace. s̵̹̀͗͜h̷͇͇͌̆̐e̷̡̛̱'̷̦̆s̵̫͖̦̄̈̄ your light. the light within the darkness. if you can remember h̷̼̼̜͚͒e̸̢̡̤̹̬͖͐̒͒̾r̸͓̣̜̼̜̠͚͂̋̃...all the memories lost in the shadows of your heart will come into the light."

cut to a flashback of repliku talking about their shared promise. again, the feminine words are indecipherable.

"there was a meteor shower one night when s̶̳̄͑̆̅̆͗h̴͍̞͖͙͑̔̋̈́̎̈̾ę̷̧̰̰̖̝͆̆̕̚ and i were little... n̸̨̙̼͑̽ả̴̗͕̮́͊͝m̴̻̳͚̒i̸̳̟͑n̶̡̥̋̑̌é̸͍̦͑͐͋́ got scared and said, what if a shooting star hits the islands? so i told ḧ̷̡̬̽̅͆̊ė̸̙̩̠̥̿̃̚͠r̶̛̥̻̖̉̾̽͝, if a shooting star comes this way, ill protect you! and then—"

cut back to the memory pod.

"look at the g̴̬͛̄̚͘ŏ̴̞̙̰̍͂̀ö̴̘̥̗̱̐͋͆ͅď̷̨͙̙̩̓́͝ ̸̢̋̈́̂̚ļ̷̯̥̲̪̐̋͌̾̚ṵ̵̼̥̥͖̎c̸̱̟̹̚ķ̸̭̱̖̓̇ͅ ̷͇̳̃̑́͑͐͜ͅc̸̢̤̈̈́̊̚̕h̵̙̗̓͊̾ͅą̷̣̮̞̾̈́r̶̜̜͓̥̀́͋͝m̸̺̖͈̖͓̊̀̕. i changed its shape when i changed your memory. but when you thought of ẖ̴͚̙̆ȅ̴̡̛̞̲̥̼̋͐r̸̹̱̐, it went back to the way it was."

finally, a few more lines from namine.

"remembering one thing leads to remembering another, and then another... your memories are connected, like links in a chain. those same chains are what anchor us all together. i dont destroy memories. i just take apart the links and rearrange them. you still have all your memories."

cut back to sora in the real world. everything is still blurry, but now rikus voice can be heard in the background calling for him, distorted.

and then, a flash of light.

nighttime. its still. everything is quiet and peaceful.

young sora and riku are walking back from the beach.

suddenly, theres a bright streak across the sky. 

sora and riku both gasp.

then, another. and another. and another.

the night of the meteor shower.

riku watches the sky in amazement– until he feels a tug on his arm.

he glances at his side and sees sora, utterly terrified and clinging on to him for dear life.

sora: wahhhh!! r-r-riku, the sky is falling!!

riku laughs.

riku: no, those are shooting stars. theyre way up high in the sky.

sora however is not convinced, and keeps shaking as tears start to well up in his eyes.

sora: b-but…! theres so many of them. and theyre so fast!! what if a shooting star hits the islands?!

the reality of soras mood finally sets in, and riku is left staring as he tries to think of what to do.

hanging from his pocket is his wooden sword.

the words of the man with the real sword echo in his mind:

“no more borders around, or below, or above, so long as you champion the ones you love."

riku grabs his sword then and holds it up to the sky as he looks at sora, courage glinting in his eyes.

riku: if a shooting star comes this way, ill protect you! ill hit it right back into outer space!

sora sniffles as he watches riku swing the sword around.

sora: r-really?

riku nods his head confidently.

riku: i will. i promise!

after a moment of thought, riku reaches into his pocket and pulls out a silver chain with a crown dangling from the end.

riku: here. take this. i found it the other day.

with the magic of cutscene, riku somehow turns the chain into a necklace, and then reaches over to hang it around soras neck.

riku: whenever you get scared, all you have to do is look at this, and remember that ill always be there to protect you. no matter what.

tears run down soras face as he looks at the necklace.

the voice of the strange girl theyd met before rings through his mind:

"so then if something happens, and riku is about to get lost—or say, he starts wandering down a dark path alone—you make sure to stay with him and keep him safe. thats your job, sora, and im counting on you to do it, okay?"

sora gulps and then reaches out to grab rikus free hand in both of his own. riku is surprised by this.

sora: ill… ill protect you too! i-i know im not as strong as you, but ill… ill try! i promise!

riku is taken aback for a moment, before he smiles gently at sora.

riku: … thanks, sora.

afterward, a multitude of quick flashbacks to all the times sora and riku protected each other, culminating in seeing the KBG sacrifice one more time.

fade to back.

in a hotel room (or smth similar), sora suddenly sits up straight in a bed, heart beating rapidly.

sora: riku!

(paralleling when riku called out for him after waking up from the dive into his heart in ddd)

riku has been seated at the edge of the bed, waiting and worrying. when he realizes soras awake, he scoots down the bed towards him.

riku: sora! youre okay!

after catching his breath, sora looks around the room, confused.

sora: … what… happened?

riku: you passed out, so i brought you here. how are you feeling?

sora puts a hand to his head, grimacing slightly at his pulsing headache. but that doesnt matter right now.

sora: im… im fine. listen, riku… i saw… i saw some of the things that happened at CO.

rikus eyes widen.

riku: you did?

sora: yeah. i saw you… well, a version of you. and namine. namine…

sora looks into rikus eyes.

sora: she… she was wrong. or… maybe i was wrong, and she just played along for my sake…

riku: huh? what are you talking about?

sora swallows as his voice starts shaking, just a little.

sora: kairi… kairi wasnt the one most special to me. you were. i remember… i remember the night of the meteor shower.

sora clutches at the crown necklace.

sora: all this time, id thought id remembered everything important… but i forgot about it. [sighs] im sorry, riku

riku stays quiet for a moment, before putting on a forced smile.

riku: its fine, sora. we were little kids.

sora frowns.

sora: but… you never forgot, did you?

riku shrugs, and theres a moment of silence between them, before riku speaks again.

riku: maybe i was the one most important to you back then, but its not the same now. thats alright. im just happy to be your friend. i know how you feel about kai-

sora suddenly moves forward, closer to riku, now yelling as he cuts him off.

sora: i get to decide how i feel, riku! its my heart!

riku is taken aback at the shouting, and stares in shock. sora realizes hes gotten loud, and takes a moment to calm down.

dearly beloved starts to play in the bg

sora: i… i know now. maybe it took me a long time, but… i figured it out. the person most important to me… all along, its been you.

riku freezes up in pure shock. he cant believe what hes hearing. hed talked himself out of hoping for this day long ago.

sora finally smiles again.

sora: youre the one i love.

(paralleling prince eric with ariel)

BOOM FIREWORKS MAGIC SORIKU ENDGAME

riku is absolutely speechless, staring at sora with his mouth agape.

sora gives riku a sheepish grin, now growing nervous at the lack of a response.

sora: and… im the one you love… right?

after a second, riku returns soras smile– and, for the very first time in the series, starts crying.

he nods, shakily.

riku: … yeah. yeah, i do. i always have.

riku wipes at his eyes to stop crying, but its futile. the tears flow even harder.

sora feels himself start crying, too, but hes laughing at the same time.

he pulls riku into a hug, grabbing his upper back tightly.

without any hesitation whatsover, riku returns the embrace, holding onto sora in the same way.

(like so [sora in orange, riku in teal])

fade to black.

then they kill the MoM, get married, and live happily ever after. the end. :)

love balancing light and dark is largely taken from these tags by @osrinlore on this video of mine btw:

[itsclydebitches]

I really want to take a moment to appreciate the conversation between Roy and Trent in 3x02, as a part of Ted Lasso's larger commentary on toxic masculinity.

Because these two are classic nerd/jock archetypes, yeah? (At least on the surface. The fact that they're far more complex than that is kinda the whole point.) Roy Kent is the handsome, talented, scariest motherfucker around, able to treat people like shit and still earn the devotion of the fans because he possesses the coveted Sports Skills. Trent, in contrast, is the queer kid who was never able to participate in sports himself, instead needing to turn to writing about them to find that in. As he tells Ted, for him sport is the metaphor and his words, delivered with an "edgy" style that pulls no punches, defend Trent in a way he's never been able to defend himself physically; they gain respect in a field where he'd otherwise be considered a joke. ("Is this a fucking joke?") Plus, given the implied backgrounds and present day characterization, I don't think it's much of a reach to believe that scathing articles like the one Trent wrote contain a certain amount of bitter satisfaction: Roy is "over-hyped," "mediocre," "disappointing," and driven by "rage." If that doesn't sound like a bullied kid finally getting back at all the jocks Roy represents, I don't know what does.

Notably, they repeat a version of this history during Trent's first week at Richmond. He's easily the most anxious we've ever seen him, jumping at loud noises, hands twitching in his pockets, very self-consciously trying to form a connection with the players and failing miserably. Trent is without his armor now - that of a high-profile journalist, safe behind his cutting words - and he's unable to rebuild any given that he's being denied the chance to write his stories. Why is that the case? Because top dog Roy Kent has decreed that no one talk to him. Now, we know based on Roy's characterization and what's revealed later in the episode that this is done out of a desire to protect his players from the abusive press, but outside of that context this looks a lot like the popular kid playing the part of a bully. Trent is the new kid entering class, being clocked as the outsider, briefly welcomed by someone with no prior bias (Dani)... and then that's shut down real fast from Roy. Funny as Ted Lasso is (and I was legitimately cracking up throughout the episode) there's also something extremely disquieting - in a very familiar way - at watching someone go from, "Hi! :D" to "FUCK YOU!" all on the say-so of someone with a lot of authority and social power. This dynamic continues throughout the whole week, with Trent growing more and more on edge until, finally, he just gives in. When Roy starts popping balloons he doesn't stand up for himself and demand that he share their office respectfully, Trent just tries desperately to ignore the bullying - and it is bullying, given that Roy stops popping the moment Trent leaves - and then quietly runs away, acting apologetic as he goes. When the players refuse to discuss strategy with Trent he tries to leave again, defeated, which is a far cry from the doggedly confident reporter who would wait for Jamie after practice. Woven among the humor, Trent is at his most vulnerable here, looking more and more like the victim in a hostile, traditionally masculine space.

Of course, given that this is Ted Lasso, the situation is far more complex than just, "Bullies exist and that's #bad." The locker room scene is initially set up to look that way, in large part because it takes place in a locker room/bathroom. AKA, two spaces where bullying tends to occur unimpeded - and we've already seen that in Ted Lasso back when Nate was the underdog, cowering before the rest of the Richmond team. Roy's control over the group is so complete that no one dares challenge his order to ignore Trent (except, of course, Ted himself. The guy who sparked Roy's growth from the get-go) even though the group is clearly very relieved when the ban is lifted. Roy screams at Trent, making him jump, and orders him into the semi-privacy of the showers. It speaks volumes to me that Ted feels the need to give a reassuring nod and that Trent clearly needed it because, again, outside of the fact that they're both obviously adults now and that on a surface level this moment is meant to make us laugh, this is all very reminiscent of the bully pulling the nerdy kid somewhere where he can hurt him without consequence, all while everyone sits there and watches, not really wanting it to happen, but not willing to stop it either. Everything from the setting, to Trent's defensive body language, to Roy pushing the wallet against his chest in a move reminiscent of the classic shove to start off a beating, all of it heavily implies that kind of bully/victim dynamic.

But, as said, it's not that simple. Because Roy isn't the bully here and Trent, crucially, isn't just the victim. The scene goes on to reveal that Trent is the one who has caused Roy harm, by printing a unnecessarily cruel article when he was just seventeen years old. (A revelation that pairs very nicely with his introduction this season - "Love that" - reminding us that just because Trent approves of others standing up to bullies doesn't mean he's never been one.) That was a decision that "wrecked" a young Roy, to the extent that he kept that quote in his wallet for years, only now reaching a point where he can admit how much that hurt him. Trent's explanation is understandable given his heavily implied backstory. Not that he was trying to build his career, but that he would do so by "seeing the worst in people" and hurting them first before they could hurt him. Roy was right all the way back in Season One, Trent is a colossal prick... but that's likely because others were colossal pricks to him first. Here then, we see that cycle of abuse once more, the same one Nate is currently trapped in. The difference, however, is that when Ted says, 'Your ego is hurting us, Roy' Roy listens and when Roy says, 'You really hurt me, Trent' Trent listens, and the three of them together put a stop to the cycle then and there. Trent apologizes. Roy forgives him. Roy lifts the ban and by the end of the episode they've reached a place where they can speak honestly with one another. Not just about Roy's feelings - which is a HUGE thing for him to make Trent privy to - but about the complexities of Trent's career too. We've already seen that balancing the truth with compassion is fine line for him to walk - as evidenced by him texting Ted, but still publishing his article about the panic attacks; leaving his job, but still sniffing out the Richmond story - but here we get the reversal of that. Trent has already said, 'I'm working on emphasizing the ethics of my profession' and now Roy comes in with 'I'm working to admit that a cruel article isn't necessarily an inaccurate one.' He did play like shit at Chelsea and though Trent didn't need to break the spirit of a seventeen year old, the players do need to come to terms with the fact that they're in a high profile career where everyone is judging their performance (something Ted himself is all too aware of). This is the kind of nuanced understanding that's only possible post-apology/forgiveness, wherein the story has reminded us, 'Victims are capable of becoming bullies themselves and they need to own up to their actions just as much as they deserve an apology themselves.'

All of which is REALLY important for the framing of Nate's arc because he is in Trent's position, poised somewhere between victim and bully. It's obvious the ways in which Nate was a victim of the Richmond team, of his father, and even of the public, but it's significant that he's still a victim even as he now consciously hurts others too. Rebecca had a long speech this episode about how charming Rupert is, how he'll pursue you and in the process make you feel like you're the most important person in the world, someone chosen... and though she was talking about Zava, all I could think about was Nate. He's still being charmed and wooed by Rupert, what with the compliments and the new car, but all of it comes with reminders that he's worthless without that approval (surely a cleaning lady must have parked there...). Rupert is the top dog at the moment, his oh so benevolent popularity extending to Nate, encouraging him to model that behavior in order to keep his interest... but inevitably Rupert will toss him aside, just like he did with Rebecca. He'll become bored and Nate will have to grapple with the fact that, in his effort to avoid being a victim, he became the bully instead, just like Trent had. Rebecca is waiting to help Nate understand the ways in which Rupert can demolish your sense of self-worth. Trent is waiting to help Nate understand how to own up to your mistakes. And of course, there's Ted Lasso in the wings, the American outsider who can offer a much needed, compassionate perspective on the whole of it - as well as some personal insight into panic attacks during interviews. The entirety of the Richmond community, thematically, is being built into a reflection of Nate's struggle; a collection of experiences and wisdom and kind-hearted insight that can help him if (when!) he chooses to accept it.

[pluralthey]

Sorry if this is annoying/overstepping, but do you have any advice for drawing tears/crying? You do a really good job of drawing what an ordeal it is and the physics of the tears without covering the face in droplets and I've been trying to nail down how you draw eyes on the verge of crying with little success.

Again apologies if this is annoying, my intentions aren't to badger you into making a tutorial or anything! Hope you have a good day :)

i'm not sure. i really don't consider myself good at drawing them. one time i heard someone say ghibli tears look so nice because they're drawn how they feel, not how they look, and i've been chasing that dream ever since. they come out in hot, thick droplets (but they are really no larger than raindrops, maybe even thinner) when surface tension fails; they leave residue as their oily outer layer clings to the skin and repels more tears down the face faster; sometimes the tear behind one tear falls into it and they merge for a moment; they tend to well up at the outer corner of the eye because the tear gland is located at the top (you blink with your upper eyelid, so blinking stimulates the gland) and the tear duct actually drains tears into the nasal passages; i like mixing the colors of the image to stylize the refraction (and i tend to make the teardrops larger for more room) because it looks pretty, but sometimes all-white or mostly white tears looks better. i draw tears based on the various factors like the mood, intensity of emotion, movement of the eyes and body, and so on, too. like this

and this

are very different styles of tears. i think a lot of people are impressed with how far i can push expressions and poses and tears and all that, so i can only say that subtlety does wonders as much as exaggeration. the total expression of the face plays a huge role in selling crying. i think the advice you're looking for is probably the refraction, though. it took me a minute to find an instance where i've drawn tears welling up.

there's nothing there in kim's eyes but a thin, light outline around her bottom eyelid, sometimes an incomplete very subtle dark outline along her eye whites. tears are liquid and drawing liquid in solid black tends to not work out well. if you look at droplets for reference...

they can LOOK like they have a white outline, very shiny. in actuality, this is just a reflection of the sky. water just reflects what's around it.

here are droplets without any sky present. they look like dark outlines, don't they? they could also be bubbles, or holes. we, as humans, parse what is probably water based on whether it reflects that light. water droplets cast a shadow, but solids cast shadows too. metal like gold has it too, and our instincts to seek out and desire water as animals are actually why we like how shiny things look in the first place. so, we look for that "white outline" -- the reflection of light. i tend to just stylize and exaggerate this, then.

[opal-owl-flight]

7. Do they take part in ink battles? What kind and how often?

Absolutely! Inksport leagues are what most of the NSS do outside of agent duties. Theyre a major part of most Inkfish's lives in my writing, a lot of the themes I explore revolve around uh. Sport Movie kinda dealios BAHAHAH (alongside rhe Horrors but shh. When it comes to ocs outside the NSS, Inksports are the main focus)

3s a turf war legend both topside and underground. They were there when the sport was something only the delinquents did, unregulated and dangerous, matches that moved at a fast pace and where they had to leave IMMEDIATELY after or be caught by the authorities. Squid Force eventually found this sport and started sponsoring a safer, more regulated version of it. 3 rose up the ranks all the same (while complaining abt how EASY it is now). Theyve been here since the start. Their splashtag is whispered in awe ans reverence. They are usually followed around by a gaggle of fans or press (please leave them alone qoskw). They still participate in trench turf to satisfy their desire to turf like the good old days. 4 and 8 and Neo3 have no clue about it. They show up with new light scarring and people think its from agent stuff they do on their own -- nope!!

They also play ranked. Tower Control is their favorite mode! Positioning is critical in all modes, but this one has some very specific spots they can exploit and the battles have a flow thats easily readable to them. Its the same route every time! Opposing teams move in pretty specific ways! Its like chess to them. Massages their brain just right.

4s a rising star in the turf leagues. She was great at it back in her hometown in the highlands (the sport has been established here for awhile), but she feels that people are intentionally throwing their matches against her because shes a clan singer. She wanted to have the Real Deal. Moving to Inkopolis, she had a taste of what real turf matches are like...and saw how much more brutal they are. She grit her beak and learned, explosively, in fact, how to play properly. She rose up the ranks quickly the second she found her main weapon class. Shes only ever played topside turf but she is a force to be reckoned with. 3 complains that the new regulations made the game "easier", but someone who grew with the rules can see that its added more complexity. You cant just brute force everything in here. 4 weaves around these added limitations with ease. One can argue shes just as good as 3, if not better...

Her favorite ranked mode is (obviously) Rainmaker. Sneaking around, getting up close and personal with the carrier or their teammates clumped around them is something she greatly enjoys. Holding the nuke itself also gives her quite the rush!! Literally. Shes so beefy that she can carry it faster than the rest of her team (Judd flags her for that, she has to slow herself down to keep the game fair for everyone else). The Rainmaker mode is also reminiscent of some of the ceremonies she does/participates in back in the highlands. Its her job in those ceremonies to call the rain. It involves moving from place to place, carrying a relic that will make her voice heard to the heavens. Despite her not liking how suffocated she was in her homeland, she admits that she misses it, as well.

8 is relatively new to the turf scene. Shes always yearned to be a part of it, back when she was still underground. Now that shes on the surface, she frankly doesnt understand why its such a big deal anymore. Its just a game?? Why are people sweating over this?? And why is all this violence so revered here?? I think her general dislike for combat/conflict may be due to her being raised in a wartime context. She got out of that life, shes not going to go back to it. Still, bc she adores hanging out with 4 (and later 3), she plays the more casual turf war leagues. She occasionally plays ranked modes (splat zones are a favorite), but she tends to stick to the casual side of things. The high octane action and vigilance of the pro leagues makes her uncomfortable...

Neo3 is very new to the turf scene. She compares it to the sacred salmon runs that shes been a lucky witness to (its her only point of reference, bless her hearts). A fight for honor! A fight to the death! And you get to keep living after them? Its the best of both worlds! She enjoys terrorizing the opposing team in any mode. Shes as tenacious and as stubborn as a salmonid that easily slithers over enemy ink. Hitting from blind spots. Easily overwhelms foes with strength and numbers. As annoying as a flyfish. Occasionally, she claws and bites her opponents...which gets her flagged down by Judd. Its fine!! Shes having fun here!

Her favorite ranked mode is definitely Clam Blitz. In salmonid spawning season, the survivors of the runs gather the dropped eggs around the battleground into the nesting grounds to hatch them. Neo3 is reminded of that time as she gathers clams. She defends them as if they were eggs. (And then you see her trying to crack the clams open so she can eat them after the match....)

[misc-obeyme]

unchained - chapter eleven

masterpost read the chapter on ao3

recommended music: All My Days by Alexi Murdoch word count: 2873

GN!MC x Arsenios [demon OC] a/n: The date chapter! We learn some things about Arrie in this chapter, too. I'm going to be posting a special smut scene that comes directly after this chapter in a couple of days and then chapter twelve will be next Wednesday as usual. Chapter twelve is the only chapter that Arrie isn't actually in, so please bear with me. It was needed for plot reasons! Warnings: none, this is the fluffiest and cheesiest chapter~

Arsenios watched the way your eyes lit up as you took in the view of the Devildom Botanical Garden. It was meticulously maintained - a stunning outdoor space overflowing with the most unique and beautiful flora the Devildom had to offer. Trees and flowers, even a lovely stream and a small waterfall, paths lined with twinkling lights like stars.

When Arsenios realized you had never gone on a real date with him, he had thought deeply about where to bring you. In the end, he had settled on the Devildom Botanical Garden. It was a peaceful place full of beauty and he thought you might appreciate seeing so much of the Devildom's nature in one place.

Arsenios couldn't deny that it was one of his favorite spots, too, and he wanted to share it with you.

You walked beside him on the garden path, stopping to read the various plaques detailing which flowers and trees were growing nearby.

Arsenios watched you fondly, the desire to reach out and take your hand making his fingertips tingle.

Every time you looked at him, every time you smiled, his chest twisted.

He wanted to be with you, to spend this time with you, to stay by your side. He wanted to kiss you again.

And yet, he could feel his own fear bubbling just below the surface of that heady crush.

Deep down, Arsenios knew he should leave you alone. He knew he shouldn't have invited you out this evening. He knew he should stop texting you. He should stop singing the song that filled his heart whenever he thought of you. Even though everything you did made him feel light, he was still tethered down by the anchor of danger and fear.

These thoughts were running through his head when you turned around and smiled at him, banishing everything but your face from his mind. He couldn't help but smile back at you.

Arsenios had been lingering behind you, arguing with himself about how close he should get. He stopped thinking about it when you fell into step beside him and took his hand yourself.

"You like flowers, don't you?" you asked.

Arsenios shrugged a little. "There are a lot of beautiful ones in the Devildom."

"I saw the fresh bouquets you had in your apartment," you said. "Though I thought one of them looked like peonies… do you have those in the Devildom?"

"No," he said. "There's a flower market near my place that sometimes sells human world flowers. They're expensive, so I only buy some if they have peonies."

You squeezed his hand briefly as the two of you continued to stroll through the garden. "You spent a lot of time in the human world, didn't you?"

"Yeah," Arsenios said. He ran his free hand through his hair. "Actually, it was humans who taught me the most about music."

"Really?" you asked, looking over at him. "But don't you have your own music in the Devildom?"

"Of course," Arsenios said. "But Devildom music has always been heavily influenced by human world music. And it's because of demons like me - making pacts in the human world and carrying some of the culture back with us. I learned to play different instruments from humans. I encountered different genres at human performances. I wouldn't be half the musician I am now if I didn't spend that time learning from humans, demonic power or no."

You seemed enraptured by what he was telling you. "Did you… did you ever feel bad about eating human souls?"

Arsenios stopped walking and turned to face you, dropping your hand in the process. He put his fingertips on your cheek. "If I said I didn't, would you be afraid?"

You snorted. "Not this again," you said. "It's just like that night when Caligo showed up. You think if you're just scary enough that you'll scare me away."

"Maybe there's a reason for that," he said.

"Tell me the truth," you said. "Tell me about all the terrible things you've done. I'll judge for myself if it's enough for me to walk away."

"Humans taught me so much," Arsenios said, keeping his eyes locked on yours. "They shared their culture with me. And I stole their souls. I ate some of them, yes. And others I sold. Many of them died early because of their pact with me. I didn't feel bad. I'm a demon. It's what we do. I made deals with countless humans, knowing it would kill them in the end, and then taking their souls for myself."

You reached up and took his hand away from your face, pulling it down and turning it to make his tattoo visible. "I know you don't want to talk about whatever happened to you. But is there anything else you can tell me? I feel like even if you talk for hours, I'll never know everything. Tell me something important."

Arsenios flexed his fingers against your hand. "Caligo has my grimoire."

It was the first time Arsenios ever said this out loud to someone else. Each word felt like a knot in his throat. An implication of something so much deeper, something that shattered him into a million tiny pieces.

You gasped a little and grabbed at his hand. "What! But that's so much stronger than a pact. Did you really trust him enough to give it to him?"

Arsenios sighed and closed his eyes, unable to look at you any longer. "It wasn't supposed to happen. I didn't mean to get close to him. We were working together and it was supposed to be strictly business."

"But?" you asked tentatively.

Arsenios opened his eyes again, forced himself to look at you. "But I'm an idiot, that's all."

You shook your head. "I don't understand. What do you mean, you were working together?"

"Caligo was doing something he shouldn't have been doing," Arsenios said. "When I made a pact with a human, he would use the pact mark it left on me to trace where their candle was located. He manipulated the candle and that ended their lives much faster. I was able to gather twice as many souls as I would have on my own. And I gave some of them to him. That was our deal."

"But he betrayed you…" you trailed off, obviously confused about this part of the story.

But Arsenios couldn't tell it to you. Not in full. "Yeah. By then I was in too deep. It wasn't… it was bad from the start. It never should have happened. I never should have agreed to even work with him."

Arsenios abruptly pulled his hand out of yours. "I'm sorry, MC. I didn't mean to bring everything down by talking about this. I brought you here because I wanted you to see how beautiful the Devildom can be."

"Don't apologize," you said. "I was the one who asked."

You took Arsenios's hand again and he let you. You resumed walking together, now in a slightly awkward silence.

The path wound around beds of flowers and stunning trees. At a point where the path crossed with another, there was a large wooden trellis that stretched over the crossroads. It was covered in vines and twinkling with lanterns, the Devildom stars mirroring the blinking lights above.

Arsenios stopped. He held both of your hands and looked into your eyes.

"I'm a demon," he said. "Unlike the brothers you spend so much time with, I've always been a demon. My reason for existing was to tempt humans. A lot of them have suffered because of me. But I've also learned from humans. I've shared love and friendship with them. They taught me their music. It's a duality I'm always going to carry inside me. I understand if you can't accept this about me. I'll understand if you decide to walk away."

Arsenios waited as you studied him. His stomach was twisted around itself. Not just thinking of Caligo and the betrayal, but knowing that he was giving you more than enough reason to cut him out of your life. Your song filled him, it sang through his limbs and vibrated through his veins. It would hurt to lose it, but he would rather feel that emptiness now than struggle with it later.

You sighed. "I don't care what you've done in the past," you said. "So you're a demon. You're also the one who sang me to sleep. You're the one who makes a point of trying a little angel's pastries. You play the piano like you're pouring out all of your love with every note. You love flowers and macarons. I don't care what you've done or what you've had to do. I like you."

Arsenios squeezed your hands. He felt the relief flood through him, his body relaxing, letting go of the tension he'd held since the two of you started talking.

Arsenios let go of your hands and cupped your cheeks. "MC, can I-"

"You don't have to ask," you interrupted.

Arsenios kissed you. All the bright flowers around the two of you seemed to disappear as Arsenios felt himself full of nothing but you. Your song filled his mind, his heart.

One hand moved to cradle the back of your head as you took a step closer to him, your bodies pressed against each other. His other arm encircled your waist, your own arms on his shoulders, the heat of your lips against his as they opened eagerly.

It was just as intense as the first kiss you'd shared in his apartment, perhaps even more so. Arsenios let it consume him and for a blissful moment, he imagined that this was all there was. That things could be this simple. He let your song block out everything except your touch.

-

You could have gone straight home. In fact, Arsenios had been prepared to escort you back to the House of Lamentation himself when the two of you left the garden. But you tugged on his hand, pulling him in a different direction.

"I'm not ready to go back yet," you said. "There's a new food stall down this street I've been wanting to try. Will you come with me?"

Arsenios couldn't have said no even if he wanted to. But he didn't want to. He wanted to stay by your side for as long as you'd let him.

"Lead the way," he said.

You started off down the street, guiding him along by the hand. He kept pace with you, staying beside you even as he followed you.

Arsenios watched your face, your expression focused as you looked for the food stall you had in mind. The lights of the city brightened your eyes and he couldn't stop thinking about the way you felt in his arms when he kissed you among the flowers.

He was reluctant to look away from you, but you had arrived at your destination.

It was a new crepe stall. Your excitement was evident from the way you grinned at him. You pointed out the items you wanted to try, telling him what you had heard about each one.

In the end, you both ordered the same thing. The way you talked about the stall's signature offering made him want to try it. They were crepes made with matcha from the human world covered in bloodberries and shadow oranges. It was a unique combination of flavors.

The two of you settled down on a bench to eat and you leaned into Arsenios as you took your first bite.

He had to hold in a laugh at the way your eyes rolled into the back of your head.

"Mm," you hummed. "This is delicious."

Arsenios smiled. "I didn't realize you could be so expressive about sweets. Have you ever made that face when you tried something Barbatos made? You'll give the guy ideas."

You rolled your eyes again, but this time in mock exasperation. You nudged Arsenios playfully. "Just try it!"

Arsenios did as he was told. It was quite good. He tried to school his expression.

You grinned at him. "See? It's good, right? And anyway, don't put Barbatos on your level. He would never get ideas like that."

Arsenios nearly choked. "He's not as prim and proper as you think he is," he said when he was able to speak again. "And what do you mean by my level?"

You finished another bite of crepes before replying. "You haven't been able to keep your eyes off of me since we left the garden," you said. Your voice was teasing, but there was a blush on your cheeks.

Arsenios felt a fluttering in his stomach. He almost laughed. It was such a sweet, tender feeling that he hadn't experienced in so many years, he didn't think he still could. And yet here you were, setting off butterflies he thought were long dead.

"Can you blame me?" Arsenios asked.

"Yeah," you said between mouthfuls. "I can. Quit staring!"

Arsenios finally laughed, unable to hold it back this time. He took your empty plate and left you sitting on the bench while he threw away the trash in a nearby can.

Then he came back and offered you his hand. "I think I could use a little tea after something so sweet. I have just the thing at home, if you don't mind staying with me a little longer."

You looked at his hand, then up into his eyes. He had to control his breathing, to prevent himself from sucking in a breath at the tumble of feelings he saw there. He waited.

You took his hand and let him pull you to your feet. He kept your fingers clasped in his as he walked home with you.

-

Arsenios moved behind the island counter of his kitchen, ready to start making you some tea. He was thinking about the last time you were here - the first time he had felt your lips against his.

You didn't sit at the counter like you had then. Instead, you leaned against it idly, your gaze on the back windows.

As Arsenios looked around for some mugs, he saw you moving out of the corner of his eye. He stopped what he was doing to watch you.

You crossed the room toward the piano, moving past it and stopping with your gaze fixed on the corner of the room.

"Is this a cat tower?" you asked.

There was in fact a dark grey cat tower in the corner you were looking at. Arsenios knew you hadn't seen it the last time you were here.

You didn't wait for his response, instead getting closer and peeking inside one of the cubbies. You let out a soft gasp and put your hands to your mouth.

Arsenios shook his head and went over to join you. Inside the compartment, a sleek black cat was curled up in an unusual position, her soft body moving slowly up and down in her slumber.

"Don't worry," Arsenios said. "She's a heavy sleeper. We won't disturb her."

"What's her name?" you asked.

"Flower of the Abyss," Arsenios said.

You frowned over at him.

He shrugged. "It's my favorite flower. I just call her Abby. Now, come on, did you want tea or not?"

Arsenios started to move back toward the kitchen, but you caught his hand.

"Did you really bring me home to serve me tea?" you asked.

Arsenios experienced a splitting of himself in that moment. As he looked into your eyes, all he wanted to do was kiss you, touch you - he wanted to make you his. And yet, something held him back. There was something else, small but strong, deep inside, that yelled at him to stop.

You didn't wait for him to resolve this inner conflict and he hoped you weren't even aware of it. You stepped closer to him, put your other hand on his chest.

"Arrie," you said.

And that was all it took. Hearing you say his nickname like that, so confidently and yet so gently all at once, completely crumbled the last of his resolve.

Arsenios wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close before kissing you. He felt you return the embrace as you opened your mouth for him, easily granting access.

If your previous kisses had been hot and heavy, this was a volcano. An explosion of feeling, a bursting of pent up energy, aflame like magma. Arsenios's skin was on fire, every piece of him singing for you. His song was like the high pitch of several violins, strings straining against the bows, mingling with the restless sound of your desire.

Arsenios pulled back from you and it was like moving a mountain. "MC," he said, his voice low and husky.

His hand was on your cheek, his thumb running along your bottom lip. He couldn't help touching you. He couldn't stop, even when he was trying to.

Arsenios caught the sight of his own tattoo and his hands throbbed. He tried not react, but he was sure you could see something in his eyes.

You didn't say anything. All you did was wrap your arms around his neck and pull him into another kiss.

masterpost | chapter ten | chapter eleven and a half

taglist: back to normal as I've been told how to tag so everybody actually gets tagged! so here I go: @avalordream @lonely-north-star @expressionless-fr @featheredcrowbones @pumpkinsareamazing

@szired @bagofwetmice

as always, please comment or dm me if you'd like to be added or removed from the taglist!

masterlist | Thank you for reading!

[elvisabutler]

show 'em

fandom: austin butler rating: m pairing: biker austin butler x female reader word count: 2,401 warnings: marking. a touch of blood kink. possessive behavior. unwanted advances from someone who isn't austin. a lot of talk about bruising. biting. p in v sex ( unprotected ). biker austin. austin has facial hair. public sex. sex on interesting surfaces. author’s note: welcome to day 2 of ally's wet hot smut summer, marking with biker austin butler. special thanks to @butlersxbirdy for brainstorming with me for it's been a long time since i consumed biker media as well as @blurredcolour and @eliseinmemphis for their read throughs to make sure i wasn't completely messing this up. to the anon who requested wil for this day, i am not forgetting you, i promise. like i said, i was gonna move you down a bit because i want to make sure you get a good wil fic. as much as i'm critical of my writing with austin and elvis, i am way worse with other media/things. consider this Sons of Anarchy inspired, austin a bit of a jax stand in with the reader as a tara one to be honest. i live for everyone's excitement about this little thing i'm doing over the summer and adore reading everyone's tags/comments/hearing the screams of delight. they truly are my lifeblood for writing a lot of the time.

Dating a biker is, in a word, complicated. Dating a biker when you are not the normal or stereotypical old lady is complicated and a pain that you wouldn't wish on your worst of enemies. As they say though, the heart wants what it wants and for both you and Austin that's no different. All it took was seeing him at a restaurant while you ate lunch with some colleagues and you were sold. Of course, with the way his club is set up, with how they do things that are most definitely not legal, you and him know better than to show off his lawyer of an old lady. It doesn't mean you don't show up at the club from time to time, but it does mean that beyond a very select few no one knows who you are to Austin. The shining light to a darkness that sometimes threatens to overwhelm him when he realizes he wants out of this life. You'll help him eventually even if he has to do his time for his crimes. The problem the two of you never thought about was that in not knowing who you were to Austin- you just looked like another run of the mill patch whore.

"I keep seeing you around here," a guy whose name you haven't bothered to learn murmurs from behind you. He isn't important, and you know this because important people know not to touch you in the club. Important people know that even if you weren't Austin's girl- you value your personal space to a degree that borders on antisocial.

Your eyes drift to the other side of the room where Austin is talking with some other members of the club and being sweet enough with the girl trying to hang on his arm. Another person might be worried, might see the woman as a threat but you know better, you know that there's a sting when you sit down from Austin's handprint on your ass and there's a hickey or five on his chest from your greedy lips and teeth. Still, you have to be pleasant, don't you? "You do. Thinking of joining and everyone's been really nice. I think I might fit right in."

The man hums and moves to step in front of you, blocking your view of Austin. His hand moves to cup your chin, tilting it to face him. "I'm sure they have been nice. You look nice too, you know. Could be a good girl on someone's arm."

Bile starts to rise in your throat as you grab at his wrist, attempting to pull his hand away from your chin. "I'm not- You're really barking up the wrong tree."

"Am I?" He laughs as if he's told the funniest joke in the room and not as if he's disagreeing with you over your desire to talk to him. To play along with his silly game. "You keep coming here and I don't see you leaving on anyone's arm. Kind of failing at your patch whore dreams when that happens."

You can't help the way a startled laugh leaves your body at the implication. He thinks you're a patch whore, a woman who wants to fuck her way through the club until someone decides that they want her as an old lady. You like to think you don't give off that vibe and yet apparently you do. "I have a job outside of here. One that doesn't really go well with being a patch whore."

"Really," he starts to move a little closer and you swear you hear a kerfuffle in the direction of Austin. Oh this was going to be bad. "I think you're just playing hard to get. What? I'm not good enough for the new little whore? Not high enough for your tastes? You want Butler? Or one of his little boys? Come on baby, that's not how this works— what the hell man?"

You look up to see Austin yanking away the would be suitor and pinning him to the wall beside you. "That's exactly how it works for her," he looks over at you and his face softens just a little. "He giving you trouble?"

You shrug, your thighs rubbing together through your jeans. "I had it handled."

Austin's eyes zero in on the way you're rubbing your thighs together and raises an eyebrow. "Yeah? Which is why if I waited for another minute I'd be seeing his hickeys on my old lady's neck."

The man realizes in that exact moment his mistake. You were already taken and not just by anyone, you were taken by one of the highest ranking members of the club. A man who could very easily kick him out right now if not just murder him for thinking his old lady was a patch whore. "Listen I didn't—"

"You did. You were gonna," Austin snarls, moving his hand to the man's neck. "You thought she was fair game. Thought because she isn't hanging onto me that she was your for the taking. You— No offense, but even if she wasn't my old lady, you're punching a bit above your weight class."

As if to belabor the point Austin sends a punch to the man's gut before letting him down off the wall. You can't help but lick your lips at the sight, moving close enough to Austin for him to nip at your neck, marveling in how he sees your skin darkening, a bruise starting to form. "What's a King gotta do to make it obvious she's taken?"

The question is rhetorical but the man and you answer nonetheless with the same answer. "Marks."

Austin's lips curl into a smile that reminds you of a shark— or at the very least some vicious predator and you're reminded of just how attractive and in love with him you are. "Marks," his lips move to your slightly exposed chest, biting harsh enough that you cry out, startled even as your arousal curls inside of you. "You want to look mauled by me, don't you? Debauched by the King? Was the hand print not enough? Was those few hickies not enough? Thought we were trying subtlety, babe."

Your breath quickens under his gaze, as he moves closer to you, causing you to back up against a pool table. The man has barely moved, too concerned the wrong move will get him killed until Austin looks back at him and growls. "Get everyone out of here. Or do something stupid to get their attention. You don't deserve to see this."

A shiver runs through your body at the implication that Austin plans on taking you against the pool table as you look at him. "Aust—"

His hands move to pull off your jacket, a leather number he had bought you after your second date. It's a bit oversized but you preferred it that way, told Austin it meant if your body changed for whatever reason it could still fit. You still remember the night after you told him that, the burn of his beard between your thighs a phantom whisper of a memory among the filth he had spewed from his mouth involving you and him.

"Austin," you utter his name as a warning that has him smirking down at you, doing away with the buttons of your shirt with such ease it's unfair. Your breasts are exposed to him, heaving in your bra and earning a growl as his hands grab at them, squeezing hard enough for you to know they'll be covered in fingertip sized bruises later on. "You going to at least kiss me?"

His face softens just for a moment at the request before he dives in, his teeth pulling at your lip and threatening to make you look every bit of that debauched woman when he was through with you. A moan is ripped from your chest as he takes a hand and busies himself with undoing the front clasp of your bra. You feel the second he manages to undo it, your breasts spilling from their confines and your nipples brushing against the fabric before pebbling at the cold air of the fan above you. Your nipples need attention, he thinks as he pulls away and sucks little marks all the way down your neck and clavicle till he reaches your breast and that little nipple. You get no warning before he bites at it, not hard enough to break the skin but enough to cause that angry rush of blood beneath the surface. You don't normally bruise easily but in this moment you swear your body has forgotten how to control itself. Austin's jacket is pulled off by you as he tries to help shuck off his shirt, noting how you're joining him in marking your territory, your nails dragging red painful lines across his chest and back.

He is yours as much as you are his and you want the world to know it after this. You've always wanted the world to know, despite the consequences you know are likely to follow the pair of you. He groans and whimpers a bit above you as a hand moves down to undo your jeans, mirroring one of your own. "Gonna maul me too, babe? Make everyone see I've got this old lady on my arm who's so powerful that everyone wants her?"

The whine that leaves your lips is embarrassingly loud and you are entirely aware that multiple people likely heard it but Austin's right, you want to maul him. You want both of you to be so covered in marks from each other that there's no question of who either one of you belong to.

"That's not an answer, babe. Come on, tell me what you want," Austin coos, as he allows himself the pleasure of pulling your pants and panties down just enough to expose your vagina to the cool air.

Your hands move to try and pull down his pants, frustration finally getting to you as you wrap your legs around his middle and force them down that way, his cock springing from his boxers as you tried to move against him. "I want everyone to see I'm your old lady, Austin. I don't want the women on you and I don't want to deal with any more guys like that who think I'm just a whore."

A snarl of aggravation rips through Austin at the word whore and his hands grip almost painfully at your hips. "If you're anyone's whore, it's mine. My pretty and smart little whore."

His fingers move down to between your legs, his fingers sliding easily through your folds and brushing against your clit when he pulls them out, he thinks he ought to taste you on his lips but settles for rubbing your arousal on his neck. A scent marker as primal and animalistic as it was. You swear you clench around nothing at the sight and grind against him once more, aching and begging for his cock. Smiling, he grips the base of his cock and guides it in, a low groan leaving his lips as he feels the tight grip of your vagina around him. This was his pussy to fuck. Your body was his to mark in whatever way he saw fit with your permission. The power he felt from it and the power you had over him because of it was unmatched.

The pool table's fabric felt strange against your back and you know you're likely to have some form of a burn to go with the burn of Austin's facial hair against your skin and the bruises he's sucking on your chest as he thrusts into you. Your nails dig harder into Austin's back, wanting to draw blood, to watch it drip from him as some form of sick claim. Marks only mean so much when they're not permanent but there's something about the idea of drawing blood from him that offers the chance to tie him fully to you. His thrusts are starting to speed up as you try to clench around him, using your internal muscles and a trick you know he enjoys.

"Babe. Not— I know we gotta be quick but kegels?" He whines pulling away from your skin and grabbing both sides of your face to pull you in for a harsh kiss, his beard scratching against your chin. "Wanted to take a little time."

"Tonight," you whisper, crying out as one of his hands somehow snuck down between your legs to pinch your clit. "Right now I just want to look like yours."

At your words Austin's eyes narrow and he thrusts even faster, keeping up with the way your hips chase his cock as he pulls back only to slam in over and over again. Things become a flurry of hands gripping and teeth and lips biting and sucking to the point where you're unsure of where he begins and you end. Your orgasm comes expectedly, your grip on his shoulders tightening as you almost fold in half from the pleasure your body feels, the aftershocks hitting you in the form of mild shakes even as you feel his come inside of you. Austin collapses on top of you, his entire front pressing against you as he catches his breath, seemingly trying to bite yet another mark on you.

Outside of the room you hear noises of people wanting to get back inside, whining about how it's hot outside and you roll your eyes. For a bunch of bikers, they could be so delicate about some things. "Austin, come on, we gotta get up."

The man in question whines against your skin, his lips curling into a pout you can feel before pulling away. "Don't wanna. I'm the King, they can wait."

You watch as Austin's head moves as your body jiggles when you laugh. A part of you wants to agree with him, but the part of you that's always mildly more mature knows better. "You are, but if you get up, you can show 'em off."

His eyes blink for a moment as he looks up at you through his eyelashes, his brain trying to piece together what you said before a hopeful grin flashes across his face. "Does that mean I can show you off too?"

"What's a king without his queen?"

taglist: @ab4eva, @blurredcolour, @butlersxbirdy, @precious-little-scoundrel, @eliseinmemphis, @prompted-wordsmith, @lookingforrainbows, @araxw, @thatbanditqueen, @ellie-24, @austinbutlersgirl67, @heartbrake-hotel, @ccab, @18lkpeters, @slutforsomegoodlettuce, @dkayfixates, @kendralavon7, @chasingwildflowers, @slowsweetlove, @kxnnxy, @meetmeatyourworst, @purejasmine, @stylespresleyhearted, @powerofelvis, @amydarcimarie, @thegettingbyp2, @austinswhitewolf, @richardslady121 and @mrs-butler if i have not included you know it's not meant to be a slight, it's literally i don't know if you want to be tagged as far as austin fics or elvis fics, drop me a comment or a message and i'll add away tbh.

[virtualstarrr]

Revolutionary Girl Utena and Neon Genesis Evangelion: Parallels Between Characters and Their Relationships

PREFACE: I wrote this a few years ago and never published it; I was around 15 and I don't think everything I said was entirely accurate, however I do feel like I made connections between these two shows that I haven't seen many talk about, so I'm gonna post it. If anything I say is off, feel free to correct me!

Anyway:

Something I've realized while rewatching Neon Genesis Evangelion is how similar Rei and Gendo's dynamic is to Akio and Anthy's in Revolutionary Girl Utena. Here are some characters and dynamics that I thought were similar, most of them revolving around the characters' connections to Anthy or Rei:

Asuka and Nanami as Antagonists

Anthy and Rei both have very quiet personalities. Both are stoic and appear off-putting to others around them. The characters Asuka and Nanami similarly hold disdain for Rei/Anthy and berate them for being weird.

Nanami harbors jealousy towards Anthy after seeing her in a relationship with her brother. Even though she resents her, the two are both in similar incestuous relationships. Anthy's situation could be a reflection of what could happen to Nanami if she took her relationship with Toga too far. But luckily Nanami realizes that she never really had feelings for her brother, and that she just wanted his validation. But before Nanami realizes all that, she acts as an antagonist to Anthy. She's constantly bullying her, and calling her out for her "weird" behavior. Asuka is similar with Rei. She's not necessarily jealous of Rei but she does project her insecurities on Rei, just look at the elevator scene. She calls Rei a doll for being subservient to Gendo, but she herself is afraid of becoming one. Nanami and Asuka, on the surface, couldn't be any more different than Anthy and Rei, but in reality Anthy and Rei represent a lot of the Nanami and Asuka's insecurities, or reflect the situations they're in.

Gendo and Akio, Both Abusers

Anthy and Rei are both extremely loyal to Akio and Gendo. Throughout each series, they are used to attain Akio/Gendo's goals, with Gendo's being to reunite with Yui and Akio's to maintain power over everyone in Ohtori. Because of how reliant Gendo and Akio's plans are on Rei/Anthy, they both get to know a lot about what's going on behind the scenes in the story, where other characters may not.

Akio and Gendo are very similar to each other, too.

Akio is able to manipulate people using sex. He even sexually assaults Anthy. Anthy endures Akio's abuse for so long that she's scared of leaving him; what if she escapes and finds that the world outside Ohtori is even more cruel?

Like Akio, Gendo also uses sex to control the women around him. He takes advantage of both Akagi and Ritsuko, disposing of them when he no longer needs them, just like Rei fears he will do to her when her use runs out.

Rei exists to obey Gendo. She's a clone, made to serve his desires. Rei wants to leave Gendo, she wants to die but he needs her to achieve Human Instrumentality. All she knows is to be obedient to Gendo, so she continues to follow his orders without considering her own feelings.

Anthy and Rei are cursed to serve Akio and Gendo, and though both dislike their situations, they see no hope of escaping. Not until Utena and Shinji step into their lives.

Utena and Shinji, the Protagonists

Utena spends the whole series selfishly playing the role of the prince, but once she begins to understand Anthy's situation, she is able to give up princehood and inspire Anthy to leave Akio. Utena doesn't save Anthy, but she gives her the courage to leave her situation, to decide for herself that she wants to leave.

Shinji shows interest in Rei's feelings. He encourages her to express herself, and tells her to smile. While Gendo sees Rei as a disposable clone, Shinji cares about her in a way Gendo never did. He wants her to be happy. While Shinji's motives are still selfish (with Shinji failing to understand Rei, just as Utena still treats Anthy as an object in her attempt to "save her" through the duels), he still shows more concern for her than she's ever experienced from anyone else.

[The scene where Shinji tells Rei to smile visually reminds me of RGU's finale. Shinji looks down on Rei, just as Utena does Anthy. Shinji tries to pull Rei out of the entry plug (the duty she's bound to— being a pilot, being Gendo's servant), as Utena tries to pull Anthy out of her coffin (trapped with Akio, the revolving system of capitalism and patriarchy, as well as literally being stuck in the cycle of abuse).]

Rei chooses to sacrifice herself, and after her death is replaced by her clone Rei 3. Rei 3 carries Rei 2's emotions but doesn't understand them at first. In the End of Evangelion, when Gendo tries to use Rei to start the Third Impact, she rejects him and chooses to start the Third Impact on her own will. (Possibly because of Shinji's influence).

Gendo and Akio Again

I think the similarities in these scenes are interesting.

Gendo stands over Rei as Akio stands over Anthy— each man exerting power over these girls. Gendo reaches down to grope Rei, trying to control her, and Anthy reaches up towards Akio to comfort him; Akio is using his emotions to manipulate and maintain his control over Anthy.

The lighting in these shots is similar. I don't know how either Anno or Ikuhara meant for the colors used in these scenes to be interpreted. I can only give my interpretation. Red is predominant, especially in the shot from Evangelion. A color that can represent passion. Perhaps this is Gendo's passion for power, for Yui, for eternity? Love and romance are often represented by red, and that includes lust. The red background could show Gendo's lust for Yui— literally in the sense that he's attracted to her as her partner— but most importantly, in the sense that he lusts after her, he desires to return to her. This lust extends to Rei, Gendo's recreation of Yui as well as a vehicle to which he can use to reunite with Yui. [Note: it's implied that Gendo sexually abused Rei, which isn't surprising considering she's a clone of Yui and the way he uses sex to control and manipulate. In the scene pictured above, he gropes Rei's breast— this is right before Rei rejects Gendo and takes the form of Lilith.]

Not only does red represent lust, but also power. It's a bold color, dominating both of these shots. It contributes to the sense of control Gendo and Akio have over Rei and Anthy. Red is used in this context often in Utena. The character Touga manipulates the girls around him in a similar fashion as Akio and Gendo (while also being manipulated by Akio). He manipulates Utena and his sister Nanami, taking advantage of their affection for him (both girls later realizing they never felt for Touga romantically). And Touga's red hair color, like other characters in Utena, signifies this power he holds.

In the RGU shot, red mainly covers Akio. Yellow is also prominent, centering around Anthy. Yellow is most often associated with Nanami in Utena, who represents jealousy— as I mentioned earlier, in her relationship with Anthy—, as well as Nanami's innocence, and perhaps ignorance.

Akio holds control over his Anthy, his victim. Her innocence is highlighted in this scene— she's not ignorant to what's going on, nor is she innocent in that sense. She's informed of and contributes to Akio's system. However, she finds herself trapped in this system, making her Akio's victim. In this sense the innocence in her attempt to comfort him contrasts his desire for power. He knows what he's doing. He cries fake tears. In the climax of RGU, Akio weaponizes his emotions in an attempt to get Anthy to stay. The colors emphasize Akio's power and Anthy's lack of agency in comparison.

Akio is trying to maintain his power over Anthy through these false tears.

Conclusion

Ultimately Gendo and Akio fail to maintain their control. Anthy breaks out of Akio's system, and Rei becomes Lilith on her own accord. It doesn't completely end their goals. Akio's system is still maintained for the rest who chose not to leave, and Gendo is able to reunite with Yui during the Third Impact— even if it is a false perception of her. But their initial plans fall apart, and the characters they've been attempting to manipulate are eventually able to escape. This doesn't just apply to Rei and Anthy, but also the other protagonists— the pilots whom Nerv abuses for their goals, and Utena and any of the other characters who find the courage to leave Ohtori. Evangelion focuses on Shinji's monologue primarily, but the show's message inspires the audience, and by extension the other characters, to live a fulfilling life despite everything. Utena and Anthy both escape Ohtori, but the possibility is there for any of the other characters that question Ohtori (a larger representation of abuse, capitalism, patriarchy, and systems that bind us) to escape as well. Ultimately these characters, these people, these systems don't have as much control as they project onto others. They influence so many aspects of life, but it's not impossible to defy them.

Ok, I've just been incoherently rambling so maybe this post has no point, but hopefully it makes SOME sense. Maybe, maybe you can see what I mean by all of (or at least any of) this. Sorry if this makes zero sense and means nothing. That is, if anyone does see this. But hopefully some enjoy my ramblings

[darkstarofchaos]

You know what, I'm going to make a theory for how Transformers One is going to play out. Let's see.

So a lot of people have observed that Megatron/D-16 already has a Decepticon insignia in all of his clips in the trailer. As far as I could tell, no other character has any symbols at all (aside from some text that might be part of an altmode, similar to Prowl's doorwings having "police" on them when he's on Earth). In one clip, however, we see him kneeling in front of what could be the head of a long-dead ancient Cybertronian - I would guess Megatronus, since Megatron has to get his name from somewhere. So my theories for that:

D-16 is religious and/or believes in the ancient Primes, and the insignia is similar to a tattoo.

The insignia is actually used by the current regime to mark criminals or other "undesirables". D-16 got in trouble in the past, either for something he did or something someone else did, and now he's gun-shy (heh) about breaking further rules; hence why he resists Orion's desire to go to the surface, and is generally more cautious than he is. When they do get to the surface, however, he learns about the ancient Prime whose face resembles the brand he wears, and he eventually claims both the name and the symbol as his own.

Honestly, I prefer option 2. It has more potential for storytelling, and it feels more like Megatron to me. So I'm going to go with that.

To the story itself. I'm going to guess that the Quintessons are in charge, but this might not be common knowledge - D-16 does say that the surface is dangerous, but the "lowly worker-bots" might not know exactly why. I prefer the more deceptive approach that those stuck living underground believe they're at war with the Quintessons, when in reality, that war ended long ago. The workers are allowed to keep up the illusion either because it serves the Quints - workers who believe their oppressors are already being fought aren't going to rise up - or because it allows the higher-ranking Cybertronians to keep some portion of their population safely out of the Quints' reach. Maybe both.

If it's the former, workers' T-cogs are taken to further reduce the odds of an uprising, while for the latter, perhaps the cogs were taken under the guise of being needed for soldiers, when in reality, it's to keep the workers from leaving their safe place. I lean more towards the leaders having good intentions but deplorable methods, because it sets the stage for a divide in the Cybertronian people after the Quintessons are dealt with. Also, it fits better with my theory that the Decepticon insignia is being used as a criminal brand of some kind.

So our heroes get to the surface and learn the truth of things - the war long-since ended and their people are functionally slaves to the Quints. But there are still bots capable of resisting the invaders - the proto-Decepticons, currently lead by Starscream.

I feel like this could go one of two ways - either the proto-Cons could fight the Quints but won't, and so need to be convinced. Or they are fighting them and refuse to let the eager young heroes help because they can't even transform. I prefer the latter, partly because I already have someone else the heroes need to convince, and partly because it's the heroes being turned away that leads them to the next story beat: they can't transform and there are no T-cogs left, but there is someone who might be able to help them.

And so the *ahem* Quest for Alpha Trion begins.

They find him at the gravesite of his long-since fallen brethren, D-16 discovers Megatronus - and Alpha Trion will not help them, because he sees no point. The Quints have already won, and further fighting will only lead to more death.

My basis for this beat comes from Elita's line in the trailer: "We were given these powers for a reason". It's possible this was just a line plucked from somewhere else as a voiceover, and that it just happens to synch up very well with the clip where the line starts. But based on that clip, she says it to Alpha Trion while the heroes are still unable to transform. So when she says "we were given these powers" she's not talking about the heroes; she's talking about Cybertronians as a whole. I think that, while Alpha Trion initially refuses to help them, he does fill them in on some of their history, which then gives the heroes what they need to talk him into helping.

And so, with their newly acquired T-cogs, the crew is able to join the battle against the Quints, they successfully drive out the invaders, and everything ends well - except there is disagreement over how the Cybertronian race should proceed now that they're free to govern themselves.

Cue end credits.

(Yes, I think they're going to use the Bots vs Cons war as sequel bait. I do not think they can tell the entire story in one movie and would frankly prefer they not try. Of course, they could handle things far differently than I laid out, but even then, with the inclusion of the Quints, I just don't think one movie has time to address everything). Edit: Oh yeah, and I guess Orion becomes Optimus at some point near the end there. I dunno how or why. I don't think Hasbro would let him stay Orion for an entire movie, but with the setup they've got, I'm not sure how they're gonna fit Pax-to-Prime in there.

[natasha-in-space]

Hi Natasha!! I feel like I disappeared and just... never came back lol

Though I'm here to request! This time for Saeran :o

Seeing as I'm planning on starting Ray route soon, could we have a story about Saeran finally being able to confide within you after ages of ignoring his own feelings? I'd imagine that the MC would pry it out of him after noticing he's been acting odd lately. You could take a school setting or canon setting; whatevers easier!

Or, if that doesn't make sense, you could write something about Ray breaking down over feeling helpless; where he thinks that he doesn't do enough/isn't enough for MC.

Or... you could combine the two ideas and write the whole story about Saeran.

SO sorry if this confused you. Ignore it if it did! its completely fine :3

Hi-Hi, lovely to see you back!! <3 I decided to go with SE Saeran for this one, both because I'm currently in my SE Saeran brainrot and because this seems fitting for him. Good luck on your Ray route playthrough! Make sure to have lots of tissues nearby, because you're about to go on a very wild ride of emotions. Also, for future notice, my name's Mia! Natasha is the name of my OC (dw it's kinda a common thing with my url but I don't wanna change it at this point xD)

"...We all know that something is wrong, you know."

Saeran doesn't pay attention to you while you carefully make your presence known by shuffles of your feet against the floor. You are aware that he heard you. He just doesn't say nor do anything to show it. And that worries you.

Saeran was always the quiet, closed-off type. Not like you could blame him, considering all he had to go through. Similar to a feral cat, you've always respected his silent need for space and freedom. If he wanted to talk, he would talk. If he had a desire to spend time with you, he would approach you on his own. You simply demonstrated your desire to be close to him, so that he would know that you wanted him near you.

But... Even you could sense that something wasn't right today. Saeyoung felt it almost immediately, whether it was thanks to their inherent twin connection or his natural tendency to worry about his younger brother. However, just because Saeyoung knew something was wrong doesn't mean he can do anything about it, unless Saeran openly allows him to.

And he was definitely not doing that.

You had to rush down to the kitchen because you heard the sound of glass breaking, and then Saeran shouting. Upon your arrival, the younger twin had already left the room, only giving you a quick unfocused glance before pushing past you. Thankfully, no one was hurt. You talked with Saeyoung in hushed voices as you both cleaned up the broken shards, offering him some comfort in the process. Although you were concerned about Saeran, Saeyoung was equally important to you. Whenever those kinds of incidents happened, his well-being was just as important. Even if he often refuses to acknowledge it.

It seems that Saeran must have cut himself while preparing dinner, and somehow, this turned into an outburst once Saeyoung became worried and tried to help. Both of you acknowledged that there is a deeper issue at play here. Something underlying right under the surface. And it was probably something very unpleasant.

In the end, you both agreed to have you go and attempt to speak with Saeran. Since you weren't present during the entire scene. So, now here you were, silently standing over the younger twin as he sat on the couch, his back turned to you. It hurt your heart to see him hunched over like that, almost like he was curling in on himself. The position didn't appear to be comfortable to be in.

"Saeran, please... tell me what's wrong. I can see you are in pain." Your voice is soft and quiet. You don't want to accidentally push him away. You slowly take a seat on the edge of the couch, a small distance away from him to give him space to breathe and not get overwhelmed.

He shifts ever so slightly, a jerky movement leaving him with a shaky breath. It was probably supposed to be a huff, but it was far too weak to sound like one.

"...I'm fine."

You sigh. "You're not. Look... You don't have to tell me everything, ok? But, I can see that you are in pain, and I want to help you. So... just tell me what you need. I won't ask for anything more."

That seemed to reassure him just a little bit, judging by the way his shoulders lowered, and he paused, possibly thinking over your request. You didn't say anything, only allowing him to do this at his own pace.

At last, there was a reply.

But instead of verbalizing, he just shifts to sit up on the couch and turns over to you. He doesn't look at you, but quietly pulls out his hand and shows it to you. His palm is caked with relatively fresh blood, a decently sized cut being the source of the red substance painting over his skin. It wasn't anything serious by any means, but it sure looked painful.

However... something told you it wasn't the cut that bothered him. Saeran refused to examine his hand. His head was turned away, and his red bangs were falling over his eyes, making it difficult for you to see his face. But, his lips were pressed together into a thin, tense line. You also couldn't help but notice the ungodly tremble in his hands. They were shaking violently. In a way that clearly showed distress without saying a word.

You carefully grasped his wrist, inspecting the cut. Most of the bloody mess was caused by him smearing the blood over his palm, and it didn't seem as bad as you thought at first. Gently rubbing your thumb over his wrist, you pulled away. "I'll clean it up for you, ok? Just wait here."

He didn't respond, but he did give you a brief nod. You now have all the green light you needed.

Saeran hadn't said a word to you until you wrapped a clean gauze over his palm and gently patted his arm to let him know that you were done. The cautiousness with which he turned to look at his hand was unmistakable. Almost like he was sure he'll see something utterly horrifying in its place. The shaky sigh of relief he did let out, though, made you smile. He flexed his hand a bit and turned it around to look over it fully.

"...Thank you."

The murmur was both quiet and soft. Genuine. His mint eyes were filled with earnest gratitude when he looked at you, and that was all you needed. You merely smiled, giving him a nod. "Of course. Do you feel better now?"

Another nod.

"That's wonderful. I'll go put away the medkit, and-"

"-Wait."

As he grasped at your sleeve, you stopped and turned around to look at him. Once again, his face was turned away from you, but this time it was a far more bashful gesture than a distressed one. You weren't completely sure, but you thought you could see a hint of pink dusting over his cheeks.

Saeran breathed a sigh, almost like he was preparing himself before saying anything. Then, he pulled you back a little bit. "...Stay. Please."

There was no need for you to hear anything else.

And so, that's how you ended up holding him close as you both huddled up on the couch, your chin resting on top of his head as he buried his face in your chest. For a while, only the sounds of your shared breaths filled the space. You promised him you wouldn't ask for anything, and you were not about to go back on that promise.

Saeran was the one who spoke up.

"Is... Hyung alright?"

Humming, you raised your hand to run your fingers through his unruly hair. The main purpose is to keep him calm and relaxed. "He's okay. Very worried about you, though."

Saeran tenses a bit, but then sighs heavily, almost in defeat. You bite back on the desire to push him for answers.

"I... didn't mean to scream at him like that. I just-"

A shaky breath. You squeeze him a bit tighter, your other hand rubbing soothing circles on his back.

"You don't have to say anything you don't want to say, Saeran. None of us blame you."

"-You should."

It was up to you to be the one to sigh now.

"Saeran..."

He shakes his head, but his grip on you tightens, his voice becoming shakier by the moment. It seemed as though he was engaged in a mental battle with himself. It hurt you to be unable to do anything but just hold him and let him talk.

"You know why I started screeching at him for no reason? There must be some rational explanation, right? That's what you think. Well, there isn't. I-" Another shaky breath. The sound of this one was almost like a sob. Your heart started pounding in your chest with anxiety. "I cut my hand on the knife, and just the sight of blood on my hands set me off. I threw a glass bowl at my brother because of a fucking cut on my hand."

You didn't answer right away. Gathering your thoughts and emotions is definitely necessary before you proceed and say something you might regret later. You should be careful here.

So that's what happened... Now that you thought about it, the sight of blood did always make Saeran very uncomfortable. But, to see it coating his hands... Well, you didn't have to guess for long. All three of you were aware of what actually occurred to V on that day.

And what a heavy burden Saeran had to carry with him for the rest of his life.

"Oh... Saeran..."

"-Just-" At this point, it was clear that he was crying. His entire body was shaking with silent sobs as he pressed himself further into you, almost like he was trying to hide from the world in your embrace. "Just hold me. Please. I- I feel so sick..."

So you do. Without uttering a single word. Holding him is what you do. You will have a proper conversation about it once he lets it all out.

Until then, you will be there for him to be his support.

[sheltershock]

I just unlocked Eight’s palette yesterday and the additional challenge placed on this run specifically is really interesting from a story perspective with what was set up earlier in the DLC. So I ended up typing up this little essay on the intersection of gameplay and themes in Side Order. Slight spoilers under the cut!

Eight so far hasn’t gotten much attention at all in Side Order. Which makes sense for a silent protagonist, but I couldn’t help but see the narrative parallels with the gameplay associated with Eight’s run. Side Order is about confronting the fear of change and the fantasy of living in a bland, but safely controlled world of order. Marina gets a lot of guilt from the Memverse getting all messed up with her constant apologies, but maybe her desires and the ones of engineers aren’t the only key players in the development of Order and its takeover. 

It’s revealed in the Dev Diaries that Eight was always intended to be the first subject in the Memverse project. Which inherently makes her special since the tower’s creation at some point took her specifically in consideration. But then when everything goes wrong, Eight is trapped there. Even when you beat the DLC and can leave the Memverse, it’s always your player character that transitions between spaces, not Eight. And sure, (a piece of) her soul is trapped in the program, but so are Deep Cut’s, and all of them are able to give the pre- and post-run news report about the situation in Inkopolis. So why is Eight unable to leave the space? 

What I was surprised to find was that Eight’s palette wasn’t actually inside locker 36 like the game implied, but it was revealed that her palette was the lockers themselves. Like, all 36 of them. And even Marina calls out that it's “kinda weird.” Afterwards, the extra challenge of the final run reveals itself, a run with minimal hacks. The more hacks you have enabled, the less chip slots you are afforded. In order to have access to all thirty-six chip slots in Eight’s palette, you need to have zero hacks enabled, which resets you back to where you were in the beginning of the DLC after the tutorial run. 

The thing that got me thinking about how interesting this was from a narrative perspective is that this challenge is really hard. It’s very difficult, in fact, at time of writing I have not beaten it and I’ve played for multi-hour sessions. But this difficulty switch actually reflects the themes of the DLC, and possibly how Eight feels and what she’s experiencing. 

At the beginning of the game, the tower is chaotic and scary. You don’t know about the floors or their properties and the chips you can get are random. You don’t know what awaits you on that next floor and that could make you entirely start again from the beginning. And that’s exactly the fear that Octolings have about going to the surface. They are completely starting over at a game that they don’t know the rules of, or if there are any rules at all. 

But then there’s the introduction of the hacks. The hacks are a valuable and life changing modification to the challenges and randomness ahead. You want more lives? Sure! Take less damage? Go for it! More upgrades for the drone? The more the merrier! Are the prices at the vending machine more expensive? Here, have a discount! Oh, you don’t like challenges or the chips available for this floor? Just hand over some coins and we’ll spin the roulette again! You can even reveal the bosses ahead of time and reroll what you get if you don’t want a certain one. Runs get easier, and more forgiving. And as you get further, the tower gets safer, more secure. More controllable. If you know what you’re doing, you can even manipulate the entire program to get solely what you want. 

Except your memories. 

As a player, you have to fully clear the tower eleven times before even unlocking Eight’s palette. Which matters because once you’ve cleared it eleven times with different loadouts, you become pretty familiar with the mechanics and might even have reliable plans for specific floors. And that’s without the hacks. The tower becomes routine at that point, and with all the hacks, it’s likely you plan trips to specific vending machines on certain floors. I remember having specific membux amounts I wanted to reach and trying to save up to spend on floor fifteen. You watch your in-game timer on levels start to decrease and feel a bit of pride when the happy clear music plays and you see the little “updated!” next to your time. You know your way around the tower now. 

And Eight gets that experience too. Eight also experiences the repetition of each successful and unsuccessful run. The tower becomes familiar to her too, and maybe, comfortable. Eight gets to climb the tower, again and again, with her friends in an environment that she understands and can reasonably control. Pearl even has a line sometimes when you start a floor that echoes this sentiment, “let's hurry this up so we can go hang out with Marina and Acht some more!” And isn’t that the perfect fantasy for a freed Octoling? An environment of freedom, with a little spontaneity for spice? To be able to hang out with people you like, and aid each other in battle where the greatest punishment is that you get to enjoy this all again? Nobody controls you or tells you what to do. You call the shots. You pick the floors. You snap your fingers and decide how hard you want this to be. 

And that’s exactly what Order stands for, an unchanging, safe world. Born from the wishes of the Memverse’s engineers, ironically standing in the way of the point of the program. At least, that’s what Smollusk said. But this is a world that Marina designed, with Eight as an intended subject. Not the only, but an intended subject. The person who was supposed to be saved first, ended up to be the last you find to save. Interesting. But maybe Order came to life specifically from Eight’s desire.

Eight is special. When you reach the top of the tower and face Smollusk with Eight’s palette, it recognizes it. “At wast[last]!,” it says, “you finawwy bwought me THAT Palette!” And it even calls Eight out by name. Smollusk doesn’t have dialogue calling out or even recognizing specific palettes you’re using, but it recognizes Eight’s. And the thing separating the palettes from the player is the lockers, a piece of Eight’s soul itself, may represent Eight’s desire to stay. The reason to keep playing is because everyone’s palettes are locked in a piece of Eight’s soul, tucked away. Because if the lockers weren’t there, then it would be significantly easier to reconfigure everyone’s palette. And easier means faster. 

All of this would make the necessity of minimal hacks symbolic. Eight’s palette is resistant to Marina’s hacking, which serves two purposes for the narrative. One, it makes the game harder, which makes it harder to walk away from. If it takes one hundred attempts to clear that tower with minimal hacks, then that’s one hundred more repetitions experienced before it all has to eventually end. It’s another form of the lockers, extending the time of the evitable. 

Its second symbolic purpose is that Eight has to let go of her grasp of control and embrace chaos to reach the top and reconfigure her palette. And it’s hard. Both mechanically like previously mentioned, but it also makes you feel Eight’s frustration with embracing chaos. Disabling my extra shields and damaged swim speed and extra lives, going back to the hardest, least controlled phase of the game feels bad. Embracing that chaos is difficult. Just like how it would be for Eight. 

But it is possible, it’s just a slow climb up. Floor by floor. Facing nearly impossible challenge after nearly impossible challenge. And while you have the option to skip, it’ll cost you. But prices are much higher, the hits you can take are much more expensive, and you move much slower. But you still have your friends. Even if they can’t help you hack your way to the top, or drop five consecutive bombs, they’re still there for you. Keeping the elevator warm, and helping you resist gravity. Maybe they can’t exactly be much of help going up, but Eight’s friends can help her from falling back down. A team of four. How fitting. 

Now, I haven’t cleared Eight’s palette yet, I’ve already mentioned this. And the 2/3 secret Dev Diaries I got doesn’t spark confidence about learning more about Eight, unfortunately. And I’ve accidentally been slightly spoiled that she doesn’t get her memories back which is disappointing. I wish there was more specific emphasis placed on the characters in the DLC, to be honest. But as I was playing I noticed this little ludonarrative happening with Eight’s run that I thought was super interesting and probably the closest I’m going to get for Eight development for the DLC. I haven’t played the first or second game(I didn’t have the hardware at the time), I just watched them and I heard that the memcakes in Octo Expansion actually reveal Eight’s personality so I’m going to have to read those, because I haven’t. But I like Eight, and I liked this neat little unspoken story going on in Side Order, like the agent herself. 

[dream-meister-translations]

PERSONA 5 : THE PHANTOM X

PERSONA 5 : THE PHANTOM X BETA - PART 6

━

As Wonder leaves the classroom, he is greeted by the girl with pigtails. 

TOMOKO NOGE : Ah...It seems I keep running into you today.

TOMOKO NOGE : Arai rushed off to the cafeteria. She said if she didn't get the sandwich she wanted, it would sell out fast. This kind of thing always reminds me of when we were still athletes....

WONDER : When you were still athletes?

TOMOKO NOGE : Yeah, Arai and I used to play baseball together. But...For some reason, she gave up on it. Since then, she hasn't been quite the same. She's been a lot more cheerful lately, though. It puts my mind at ease.

TOMOKO NOGE : Ah~ Maybe it's because you're sitting next to her in class?

WONDER : I think it's all thanks to you, Tomoko.

TOMOKO NOGE : That's not true...All I can do is be there for her when she needs me...Ah! Sorry! I've said too much. Are you heading to get lunch too? Where do you usually eat?

WONDER : On the rooftop.

TOMOKO NOGE : If you're going to the rooftop, just take those stairs right over there. Haha, are you the type who enjoys eating food alone, Wonder? We have someone like that in our class as well. Anyway, I need to go find Arai, see you later!

With that, Tomoko fixes her glasses and walks away.

-

When Wonder arrives on the rooftop he is met by a guy who is eating a cup of noodles on a bench. The guy has spiked blue hair and looks like a delinquent. When the guy spots Wonder he leaves. 

WONDER : (What he was eating smells good...)

WONDER : (Where's Ruferu...)

Ruferu flies down from the sky and perches on the railing.

RUFERU : I'm here! As agreed, it is time I answer your questions. About that place you saw yesterday, that is what we call the Metaverse and those monsters are what we call Shadows. What I have to say is tough to understand. You ready?

WONDER : I'm ready.

-

Ruferu and Wonder are now seated on the bench talking. 

RUFERU : Well then, first things first, about the Metaverse. It's a space that materializes from the collective unconscious of humanity. If you consider the real world the "surface," then you can consider the Metaverse a deeper "inner" world existing on parallel lines. 

RUFERU : You can think of it as a cognitive world where human consciousnesses are all mixed together.

WONDER : Cognitive world?

RUFERU : It's how people perceive the real world. Maybe that's easier to understand? The Metaverse is a dark, twisted version of our own. This means that the current humans living in Tokyo cannot perceive any hope from the world. 

RUFERU : As for why that is, you already understand, correct?

WONDER : Because human desires have been taken away?

RUFERU : Precisely! You're quite clever. Then I'll continue. 

RUFERU : In the other world, there are entities called Shadows. There are two types of these. The first type was those enemies that attacked us without warning. Those guys aren't human. They're more like monsters triggered by desires.

RUFERU : The second type is different...Those shadows are a second side to a human in the real world. Symbols of their dark and twisted hearts. It's the embodiment of desires hidden in a human's heart. In other words, "another self." 

WONDER : Could it be...

RUFERU : You should already understand. After all, you already awakened your Shadow as a Persona. 

RUFERU : But not everyone has the same ability you have. They can't all control their inner selves. If for some reason desires become twisted, their Shadow will lose control...Even in the real world, they will harm others without hesitation.

RUFERU : In conclusion, when someone's Shadow loses control it is considered the mastermind who exploits desires in the other world. At least that's my speculation. 

WONDER : Is that really what's happening...?

RUFERU : Indeed. It may be difficult to wrap your head around, but it's the truth. What's even worse is that when a human's Shadow loses control, the monstrous Shadows are also effected. They will continue to drain the desires from the real world until there are none left. 

WONDER : (.........)

RUFERU : I don't know everything yet. That's why we need to explore and understand that other world in detail. Although it's a bit soon, let's change the topic to work. 

WONDER : Work?

RUFERU : Yup! I have high hopes for you! I'm hoping that you'll work with me and become a Phantom Thief. As for what you will be stealing, you've already figured that out, haven't you? 

WONDER : This is all too sudden...

RUFERU : Opportunities always come suddenly~ But, I get it. It's a lot to take in at once. Let's leave it at that for now. I'll explain more once you find the target. It will be more efficient that way. I'll be waiting for you in Shibuya after school. 

RUFERU : To steal back what humanity has lost....That is the Phantom Thief's goal. I'll give you some guidance along the way. See ya later.

WONDER : I didn't say I'd help! 

RUFERU : Oh!? Don't you suddenly go backing out on me! I finally set up a cool pose to take off...Ah, whatever, we can talk about it later!

With that, Ruferu flies away. 

WONDER : (..........)

WONDER : (The Metaverse and Shadows....To steal back what was lost...A Phantom Thief...? Ugh...Lunch break is almost over, I'd better hurry to the cafeteria!)

-

As Wonder is rushing down the staircase, he suddenly bumps into Arai, sending him and his phone flying. Arai, noticing his phone is flying across the hallway, leaps to catch it before it breaks. Then she stands up and brushes her skirt while Wonder is still laying on the ground, blushing and rubbing the back of her head.

MOTOHA ARAI : Sorry about that, Wonder, I was lost in thought and didn't notice you were there. Ah, actually, it was you I was thinking about....

WONDER : Yeah...I'm sorry, too.

MOTOHA ARAI : Ah...Right! Almost forgot. You dropped this! I caught it in time so it shouldn't be damaged or anything. 

She hands Wonder's phone to him.

MOTOHA ARAI : Huh!? That icon...

Riko Tanemura approaches with a hand on her hip, glaring at them. 

RIKO TANEMURA : Please refrain from performing diving catches in the hallways. 

MOTOHA ARAI : Ah...Sorry, Riko senpai. It's just that Wonder almost dropped his phone...

RIKO TANEMURA : It seems you still have the ability to win the Best Nine award to this day.

MOTOHA ARAI : That was years ago...

RIKO TANEMURA : Oh you...

She looks at Wonder. 

RIKO TANEMURA : You're the one from before...

WONDER : Thank you again.

RIKO TANEMURA : I just did what I had to do. By the way, you seem different from before. No, maybe it's just my imagination. Anyway, it's almost time for fifth period. Don't be late, both of you. 

WONDER : (...I seem different now....She's right...It feels like I can take the initiative now...Is it because my desires have no longer been stolen...?)

MOTOHA ARAI : You okay? You've been zoning out for a sec. Fifth period is in the science lab, right? We'd better hurry up! 

WONDER : (I guess I'll have to just give up on eating lunch today...)

-

After the final class of the day, Wonder stands to his feet and leaves the classroom, thinking to himself,

WONDER : (That's right, Ruferu said he'd wait for me in Shibuya...)

Behind him, Arai pulls out her cellphone. 

MOTOHA ARAI : Wonder has the same icon on his phone...No matter how many times I delete this darn thing...I asked around school, but nobody knows what it is. Why does Wonder have it on his phone?

MOTOHA ARAI : The way he disappeared and reappeared yesterday...How does he do it?

Tomoko approaches Arai and she puts her phone away.

MOTOHA ARAI : Hey, Tomoko, isn't there a club activity today?

TOMOKO NOGE : The club room is under repair, so it got cancelled. It's been a while since we walked home together, how about it? 

MOTOHA ARAI : Sure, let's do it! 

[yasashiinaya]

So this is probably gonna be a long post about how rain world changed my perspective on life and death. There'll be references to in game lore as well as my personal thoughts on real life. I'll assume you're familiar with most of the lore.

So where do I even start?

Rain world is probably the game that has had the most profound effect on me. On its surface it's just a game about poor slugcat exploring this dangerous world, but under the surface it is deeply philosophical. Reading all the pearls, visiting all the echos, and playing through all the campaigns (including downpour) really made me appreciate it.

In rain world we have an answer to the afterlife. We know there is one and we know roughly what it entails. It's unclear how the ancients knew reincarnation was real. Maybe they remembered past lives, maybe there was some feature that made it obvious it was them again, we'll never know. Perhaps one purpose of the data pearls was to store knowledge of past lives for them to learn through.

So.. why did they want to leave the cycle? A great question. It's clear that the ancients cared a lot about life after all. We get some insight into them in the shaded citadel pearl (dark pink). It's a pearl from the memory crypts. A list 620 items long about Seventeen Axes, Fifteen Spoked Wheel's accomplishments. Maybe they were a summary of one life, maybe of all lives. We can assume it was put in the crypts after they ascended. Considering there are engineered organisms patrolling the memory crypts, surely this all meant a lot to them. Why did they want to ascend? Well it's clear not all of them did. Rhinestones beneath Shattered Glass (undergrowth) tells us this:

"Do you see the same as me? Beauty continuing to bloom even in a place long forgotten. I did not have the will to depart, nor the desire. Why did they always search for an escape, as if we were imprisoned? What offering from the void could usurp the gift of life already given? This moment, right here! It is where we are meant to be."

Echos exist cause they were not done with life. It's not some sort of punishment, it's just what happens when ascending is not something they truly wanted. The Farm Arrays pearl (pink) says that there were horror stories that if your ego was too big, the void fluid couldn't ascend you, leaving you an echo. Is it truly ego? Maybe being echos has changed the ones that remain but most don't seem like they have massive egos. Nineteen Spades, Endless Reflections thinks that they remain cause they can't let go of their memories. Four Needles under Plentiful Leaves asks if they should be ashasmed that they envy our flesh prison. A Bell, Eighteen Amber Beads still contemplates the same fields they once did. In the saint campaign, they theorize that they remain cause they feel the land has yet to reveal all of its secrets. They still hold onto the place despite it changing so.

They're imprisoned because they clearly didn't want to go. There are probably countless echos that exist merely because they felt pressured to cross themselves out. The iterators are stuck trying to find the triple affirmative. Some iterators want to ascend themselves but are incapable due to their biology. So.. if an iterator were to die, what would happen to them? Would they be stuck in a sort of limbo since no new iterators were made? Perhaps. If ascended by the saint, Looks To The Moon and Five Pebbles can see the entire loop of their existence, while also mentioning that it is only a dream. If both are ascended at the same time, it's clear they don't understand the afterlife at all. They don't know if they've broken free or not. They wouldn't have known if they found the right solution.

Let's talk about saint. It's unclear what they really are. They are an echo yet they are stuck in a repeating cycle. Or are they? Is it a cycle begun anew? They are a triple affirmative in all senses. A portable solution that is generally applicable. Upon ascending both iterators, they say this:

BSM: Only those who have seen the other side can know the answers, but by definition they can never venture back to deliver the knowledge they have gained.

FP: Perhaps that is why you need to wake up, little visitor.

Are we stuck because we have seen the other side and must help the others? Is the saint's purpose to ascend everyone? Did we see the first cycle or did we see one of countless? Are they wrong and we are stuck because our ego convinces us we can "fix" the world. Are we even right in ascending those who did not ask for it?

Crossing the Rubicon is an idiom that means passing a point of no return. When Julius Caesar crossed the Rubicon, it led to a civil war and him becoming a dictator. Saint passing the point of no return did not mean that they couldn't come back afterwards, it meant that they became something else. What is the rubicon in rain world even? The iterators suggest it is a dream, is it? Why are the guardians trying to keep us from crossing? Perhaps the void sea itself doesn't want us to cross. Perhaps it's a test to see if we're worthy.

Is ascension even meant to be? Why would there be a method of ascension that could be mass produced? The void sea almost seems like a cop out, no? the pearl in the filtration system (teal) tells us that the void sea is an entity that dissolves the rock. Maybe it just crosses out anything it comes into contact with, including creatures. I don't think it's meant for us.

When I first ascended as the survivor I was left in awe. I went in blind and had no idea what the ending would be like. It took reading a lot of the lore for me to somewhat understand. These mysterious creatures lived in the void sea and for some reason helped us? Did we really ascend? What even is the purpose of the void worms? The sense of mystery is captivating

As a thanks for reading this far: Have a drawing I made

Moving on to section 2: my own personal thoughts

I really started to think about life and death after wrapping up everything. Is there an afterlife in the real world? Should there be one? Do I even want to know the answer? Some background on me: I grew up in a family that knew no religion. Fairly spiritual but it wasn't a big part of their lives. I was aware christianity was a thing but my family didn't believe in any gods and didn't teach me any of that stuff. I didn't start learning about the afterlife in other cultures until religion class in school. My dad passed away when I was a kid so I was kinda left theorizing on what lies beyond the veil. No one tried to tell me what the right answer was cause no one knew. So.. what do I think? I'm not sure. For the most part I've just kinda figured my spirit returns to the earth once I'm gone, but will there be something left of me? Will I move on? I.. don't know. For a long time I didn't really mind the idea of dying. I didn't care what was on the other side. I didn't particularly care about life either. It took me a long time to see how precious things actually are. Heck, it took me until just this year to figure what afterlife is most desireable to me. So again, what do I think? The idea of heaven just feels wrong. Is it just life part 2? How cruel is that. An afterlife of happiness and no negativity? What's the point of that? Without my flaws and my pain, am I really me? An afterlife of eternal happiness would just leave me as an empty shell devoid of any real depth. A cruel prank by the gods to collect hollow mortals to spend time with them perhaps. Is reincarnation much better? Must my memories disappear, leaving me with no idea I was someone else? All the hurdles I overcame and connections I made, gone? For naught? Just to start over? I suppose I wouldn't know anymore, I wouldn't remember, but it feels like a sad fate. Perhaps I'm more attached to the world than I realize.

Maybe the ancients weren't so wrong. Maybe being crossed out is the answer. I think the afterlife I want is no afterlife at all. An end I wouldn't even be aware of. Unaware I ever existed. When we go to sleep, we don't know we're actually gonna wake up, do we? When I went under for surgery, the world just faded away. No memories of my last moments, no memories of it happening. That's what I hope the end will be like. Unaware in peaceful bliss. Falling asleep and never waking up again. Is it the happiest of endings? Perhaps not, but it is a fair ending. I guess I'm not so different from the ancients. Perhaps they were right in seeking a way to just disappear and never come back, but I suppose we won't know if that's what they actually got.

Farewell internet stranger, I hope you enjoyed my theories