#because of the lynel and setting obviously

[spicyicetea]

My dearest soulmate

So some people wanted a Ganondorf version of my Calamity!reader so I'm finally writing it, enjoy.

An old proverb. Oral legend passed down through the Gerudo families for centuries. Their king, who is only born every century, and his fated love. Many reject this as the truth. Their desire for the king to be free to conquer Hyrule is so strong that they hide the legend. One slip up is all it took for all that work to come undone.

"What did you say?" The King's voice boomed, demanding and harsh.

The servant quivered in fear as her friend stepped forward to explain.

"We were just speaking about an old story we heard from our mothers as children my king. Our apologies for angering you."

"What story? The beginning was similar to an old legend I have read about, this may be the end of what I desire to learn!" He grins, staring down at them.

The shortest woman gulped and began to recite the story as she remembered it,

"Once every 100 years, a king will be born into the Gerudo royal family. He shall bring forth an era of change and power to the Gerudo people. This legendary king will fall victim to a knight chosen by the Sword that seals the darkness. A cycle of pain that can only be broken through union of the king and the Lady of Calamity."

"Lady of Calamity? I haven't yet heard this part of my legend." "Yes... this has been ignored as the Gerudo people of the past could never find her and assumed she didn't exist."

"Well, if she is what I require to win, than we shall find her. Prepare the army, we do not sleep until that woman is found!" The King yelled, walking off to arm himself.

---POV CHANGE---

It was a normal day for the young elven woman. The dark bubbling malice followed her feet padding along the grass through the forest. Her home. She had no choice but to hide from the village people she once regarded as family who exiled her once her powers had emerged. An ancient legend caused her to be thrown to the wolves by her former friends, although it did mean she would avoid execution. Words uttered by Hylians of old had doomed her to a life of solitary suffering unless she succumbed to the fate the world had set for her. But, she would never. Why in the world would she throw herself into the arms of pure and utter evil. Ganondorf. Her soulmate.

Although she had never met him, obviously, the tales of the crimes he had committed against her kind made her fear the man. She herself knew she was far from weak, the malice that follows her beck and call protects her well enough. Yet, she was apparently, his win condition for his atrocities. Just because her people betrayed her, doesn't mean she will betray them.

A dense unsettling air settled over the forest. Y/N felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up as she glanced around the trees cautiously. An arrow whizzed by her face and she jumped back, falling down as a heavy foot was brought down on her chest.

"Stay down Hylian!" The Gerudo woman commanded. "We look for the Lady of Calamity, have you heard that name? Many say she's as tall as us Gerudo and as strong as a Lynel."

Y/N felt her breath catch in her throat. Perhaps she could hide who she was by lying and going along with the rumors they had heard. Yes, that's a great way to escape!

"Ah, yes! She resides in a nearby village. She protects them from monster attacks." She said hurried in a soft voice.

The Gerudo woman nodded and removed her foot from Y/N's chest. She sat up and held the aching ribs, the pain soon dissipating from fear. An intense wave of nausea overcame her as a strange smell filled her nose. The hot desert sand, Warm Saffina oil and a faint dizzying musk. Her vision shook as she lent down, wiping sweat from her brow.

On the other side of the thick treeline the Gerudo King was having a similar struggle. His head became clouded with the strange pounding of his heart, echoing through his body. The fresh scent of the forest was pierced by a sinful sweet smell. Every step he took, following the scent made him feel as if he was going to collapse. His warriors followed him as he made his way past the trees, staring directly at the meek woman on the floor.

"Lord Ganondorf, are you alright?"

"Stay away," The woman groaned. "I haven't fought for so long to lose to you now, you beast."

"Do not speak to the King like that," One of the warriors yelled, but was silenced as Ganondorf chuckled.

"Look at me woman, where is she?"

"where is who? I do not know the woman you seek! Leave me be!" She growls, ripping at the grass beneath her hands to stay calm.

Ganondorf just chuckles darkly, standing over the woman.

"I know she is here, my wife, my queen to be. Now where does she hide?"

"Nowhere! I live alone in these woods, I do not know the woman you seek. I have never seen a single woman around these parts as tall as any of you!" She declared in rush.

"You're lying, I can sense her!" The King yelled yanking her up by her arm to finally look at him.

The moments their eyes locked he could feel himself fall apart. Her lashes shielded most of her eyes from his gaze, yet the iris' he could see filled him with a strange sensation. Y/N felt her knees buckle and immediately fall apart as he grabbed her, a dull heat drumming where he had made contact, as well as forming deep knots in her abdomen. Her lips parted as she panted, a strange heat settling over the two despite the chill winds in the forest. Ganondorf felt his body begin to hunger for the small woman, noticing the malice prepared to catch her should he drop her. Although, he didn't plan to. Lust. That described the immense, powerful sensation that was taking over his mind. An unstoppable, violent desire to part her thighs and control her small form. His people would worship her, similar to how he already did. She stared up at him in fear, his mind still caught in a trance.

"Ganondorf?" She muttered, worried he would kill her then and there.

The small whimpers just inspired more sinful desires. For her to scream his name into the cold desert nights to consummate their marriage, only his body heat to warm her small, fragile form. Months later for her to have the Gerudo guards at her beck and call as she relaxed in their bed, plump with his young. Years later small red-headed children running around her legs as she carried their youngest child, greeting him back from a battle. Yes, it was all perfect. He would conquer Hyrule for her. For his wife.

I hope you sinners enjoyed that, I know I did. I'm gonna tag those who I saw asking for it so they get notifs. If you like this then go check out my other pieces of writing! Thanks and bye!

Tagged: @professor-petty @simp-erman @kujogoofzeus

[luxrayz64]

okkkkk i just beat echoes of wisdom. assorted thoughts (some spoilers ahead)

gameplay:

once youre past the first or second dungeon, it gets really fun

this could be because i was immediately primed against any kind of open design by how hard totk disappointed me

in the end, I had loads of fun with this game. there are more limits on zeldas gameplay than it appears

there is no one answer to every puzzle. there are a few echoes that will solve most puzzles. but they throw a wide variety of puzzles and enemies at you, and you will have to change your strategies at times

i still really fucking hate the ui for the echoes menu. being able to pin your favourite echoes (or at the very least delist certain ones) would have been nice. I still don't know how we got this dogshit menu twice in a row

not every echo is built equal. you do not have to pick up everything they give you. do not pick up that second or third pot variety no matter how hard they try to make you

it is a completion requirement. but complete it at your own risk

completion also doesn't look fucking insane from where im sitting. the might crystals will probably get fairly tedious but this is not a game that expects you to spend 200+ hours on it. the map is nowhere near as big as botw/totks and honestly Thank God

also i dislike the smoothies for much of the same reason I dislike the cooking mechanic in botw/totk; making them is tedious, most of your rewards from chests etc are smoothie ingredients, there's 0 point in buying a red or blue potion for 50 rupees when you can chuck some milk and nectar in a blender for 10. at least cooking food was charming and gave more variety.

so so so happy that empty bottles returned. why can they only hold fairies. nintendo you are limiting yourself. obviously fairies are the correct thing to hold onto but it made for fun inventory management and was useful for sidequests. still a very good reward to get

overall 👍 i had a lot of fun! please hire a new ui designer though

dungeons:

WE ARE SO FUCKING BACK

stellar improvement on just about every fucking front here

eight (8!!!!!!!!)dungeons to complete. complete with minibosses, bosses and small keys

i have genuinely nothing but good to say about the dungeons in this game. it was playing through my second dungeon that convinced me the game was good. do you know how much i MISSED this. finally some good fucking puzzle solving

the dungeons are fairly long and big, with three exceptions, each of which I can forgive for one reason or another

the first dungeon was fairly disappointing imo. both the boss and miniboss are barely a challenge, just summon some enemies and stand in the corner and it's literally fine

every other boss though? requires that not only does zelda need to run and dodge the bosses attacks, but you'll also need to use the swordfighter form.

i wont get too into it but i loved almost all of the bosses. I found just about all of them to be challenging in figuring out which echoes would be most effective and how to use them

the puzzles are also really well designed. while there are usually a few different echoes that can provide the same solution (ie any fire producing echo can light a torch) some are better at the job than others

the first, fourth and eight dungeons must be done at set points. the second/third and fifth/sixth/seventh can be done in any order. you must complete the fourth dungeon to access the following three

doing them in different orders of course affects which echoes you'll bring in with you - something that'll be very noticeable in the latter half of the game as you unlock more elemental echoes

exploration will also net you some of the more powerful echoes, though you'll get plenty of strong ones just by doing the story. I still dont know where the lynel is but I know it exists

i only game over'd at specifically the fourth dungeons boss. mostly because i brought barely any healing items in with me. fourth dungeon also comes like immediately after your third with barely any time in between so the pacings a little off in this spot especially but it was still really engaging. it was more combat focused so it was still a nice change of pace

i really really fucking love the dungeons in this game dude we are so fucking back. if they can translate any of this to a 3d game it might restore my faith in the dev team. (nintendo side. grezzo is doing great)

ok this is a spoiler so idk dont read this one i guess but I forgive eldins dungeon for the sin of being really short and straight forward VOLVAGIA IS THE BOSS. just straight up volvagia of fire temple fame. I screamed I spent the entire fight incoherently yelling about her being my sweet baby. I love her i am so fucking happy to see her again

story:

no notes cute as all hell

i am so fucking happy about deku scrubs and river zora returning. theyre so charming in this art style!!

(minor spoilers zone)

the deku scrubs are so fucking funny. only locale besides the castle to have a jail. obsessed with the latest trends. they get mad at you for fixing the rifts because the rifts spawn spiders who spin webs and the latest trend? eating spider webs on a stick

they call you a bumpkin because you dont want to eat spider webs. youre all insane i love you so much

sad theres no deku royal family but happy to see them at all. also I think they may all be genderless at least one of them got they/themed

LORD JABU JABU IS FUCKING BACK LET'S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO

the zora leaders are both very fun. they are extremely petty but its nice to watch them put that aside in crisis and come to a new understanding

the hebra region does return AND IT HAS YETIS AGAIN!!!!!!!! or like, at least one. condé is carrying on yeta and yetos legacy of being the sweetest fucking characters you'll ever meet

its really fascinating seeing the other side of the story. hearing second hand about link from other characters - it's such an interesting perspective into his life

it's also very sweet how much everyone in the castle town adores zelda

finally, a king of hyrule who is a good father

general wright and minister lefte did make me giggle

very important to me that zelda is both a horse girl but also has a cat!!!

(MAJOR SPOILERS ZONE)

null. helloooooo

really really interesting villain lore wise!!! ALSO FUCKING PHENOMENAL BOSS FIGHT

actually this is the spoilers zone that last dungeon, while short is really really cool. fighting ALONGSIDE LINK!!!!! is so fucking awesome even if i did wish i got to use zeldas sword fighting form again

THE RETURN OF THE TRIFORCE I CHEERED. they keep calling it the prime energy and i DONT know why. if it looks like a triforce and acts like a triforce it's a triforce

the golden goddesses are also given way more relevance here. besides a single statue in the castle im not sure that hylia is even mentioned once

my guess is this game takes place before the triforce is given that name..? maybe in memory of tri and the tris (it wouldn't be a zelda game if your companion didn't have to leave you by the end of the game)

null taking on the appearance of a giant tri is . i dont know what to think about it but its very cool

given what i know about null (very little) i dont think it feels right that theres not a single other entity in hyrule who values power more than a being which just wants Some Fucking Peace And Quiet but I'll allow it.

END OF MAJOR SPOILERS ZONE

anywayyy. yeah 9/10 it has some problems and I could probably bitch about them some more but the entire rest of the game is so fucking good i dont care. im not just a hater for being a haters sake totk genuinely sucked and this game is awesome.

maybe my only other complaint not mentioned here is very little of the music really stood out to me? I liked the dungeon music for holy mt lanayrus dungeon. not a lot of Bangers though

i love you zelda i love you. so much. really good game please play this game if you've only touched botw and/or totk this is a great way to experience Actual Zelda Gameplay in a familiar way.

[deiliamedlini]

PORTAL AU?????

SO THIS IS ONE OF THOSE DEEPTIVE NAMES! IT'S NOT PORTAL LIKE THE GAME! IT'S A MODERN AU WHERE THEY'RE MILITARY HYLIANS AND ZELDA IS A CIVILIAN SCIENTIST AND THEY USE PORTALS TO TRAVEL TO DIFFERENT WORLDS!

So like the first portal they discover takes them to Zora's Domain (which is not on the same planet) so Zelda has to come up with ways to communicate while Link has to fight foreigh threats with weapons that don't work on the world (like his hylian guns don't work there while he's trying to fight a lynel with the Zora's so he has to learn to fight with other styles, and they accidently attract another portal user, Ganon, who considers himself the god of all these people and has never found the Hylian portal.

So the big plot is them trying to keep Hyrule safe and keep him from finding the portal, while at the same time exploring and understanding new worlds. It's AU so like, there's different areas of the Zora planet. One area is the BOTW area, then there's Great Bay. There's the Domain from OOT. Like, the games are combined for the sake of worlds. Like Gorons have two species: the MM ones who live in snow, and the others who live in hot climates, etc.

This is one of my fav AU's to work on, but it's so big that I just don't have time cause I have so many other AU's I'm writing at the same time. It's one of my fav plots I've given to Link (nothing I said here, just like his backstories and future things he'd have to go through). I have a ton written, but I started rewriting it because I couldn't get the beginning to work well. Link and Rhoam are besties, so it's actually a good Rhoam fic too LOL!

Here's Link and Zelda exploring, and Zelda is claustrophobic so she is NOT happy. Below the cut bc it's a little long with dialogue:

“Mhmm,” Link grumbled, though he was feeling at the door with his hands. “Something seem off to you, Doc?” Zelda looked up. “No. Why?” “The door.” “Yes? What about it?” “It closed.” He turned back to Zelda finally. She set the stone down, crossing the room to meet him, pressing her hand on the surface beside his. “Oh.” “Yeah.” “So, you’re stuck with me for a bit longer then,” she said nonchalantly, going back to her stone. But as she went to pick it up, she stopped. “Link… there’s water on the ground.” “Of course there is,” he grumbled, pushing past her to check the other door. It was sealed tight, but there was a steady rush of water moving in from under the door, and he could feel the pressure of water seeping inside. “It’s fine. The Zora know we’re here. They’ll look for us and see the door closed long before the water—” Link turned to look at Zelda, but she wasn’t where she’d been standing. Instead, she was at the other door, pressing the sensor frantically. The door cracked open ever so slightly, and water began to pour through the widened opening. “Oh shit!” Link hissed, crossing the room as quickly as he could. He couldn’t see through the other side; the water was coming through too fast and rippled. He couldn’t even tell if he needed to close the door, or open it. “Oh gods!” Zelda gasped, stepping away from the rushing water. “Link! I’m sorry! That’s what I used to open the other door before!” “It’s fine,” he said, looking around the windowless room. No other exits. “We just had to be in a world of water-dwelling fish people.” “No, I… I’m so sorry! I don’t like enclosed spaces like this.” “Who does?” Link asked, sardonically eyeing the water. “No, I really don’t,” she breathed. Link turned to see her ghostly white skin beginning to clam up. Some of it was obviously water, but he could see the distinct sheen of cold sweats coating her skin. “Stay calm, okay? We’ll get out of here.” “That’s easy for you to say, Mr. Military! I’m a civilian! My training was in a lab surrounded by microscopes and tools, not staying calm with a room filling with water, okay? The most dangerous situation I’ve ever been in was a chemical spill that got on my hands and burned a little bit of my skin before I could wash it off. Oh, but one other time, I was looking in an old house and the beam broke and I was—” “We’re going to be fine, Zelda.” “How? We are not fish people with gills! Can you swim that whole way up, Mr. Special Forces? Because I can’t! The water is clearly not drained right now. Someone got the schedule wrong, because this shouldn’t be filling up for another hour!”

[svtskneecaps]

so i got breath of the wild for christmas and i've been getting delightfully sidetracked hence why this blog has been quiet for at least a week it's bc i went to beat the bird but got distracted and explored half of the map and then got distracted from that and went to beat the elephant but then the lynel stealth introductory cutscene dropped me in such a place that it immediately aggro'd the lynel and i got spiteful and decided i was gonna kill it but i wasn't strong enough 😔 so i explored another quarter of the map trying to find shrines and stumbled across two dragons and three memories and also explored the forgotten temple bc temples are cool (even if i totally save-scummed to kill the guardians stfu) and then i went back and beat the lynel and then i beat the elephant and then i got sidetracked AGAIN because i wanted to finish some sidequests and then i went and fucked around in faron woods and then i went to find some memories which ended up with me crawling around outside the castle bc i'm piss-terrified of guardians and also shit at the parry timing and then i went to pick a fight with like three hinoxes and shit myself when i ran into a guardian with legs on the mountain and then i returned to the bird but got distracted by the snowquill armor and went to the desert to get warm saff-somethin to upgrade it and then got distracted by the leviathan bc i ran all the way over there on foot bc fuck sand seals and i wanted to do the sidequest and also ooo big bones but then on the way over i got sidetracked by killing a molduga (i got his ass) and i also found a fairy fountain and almost dropped the whole quest in pursuit of getting another 9000 rupees but managed to get myself back on track and went to the volcano to get stuff to upgrade the snowquill set but then i was like "well i should do some of the main quest while i'm crawling around these hot rocks" bc the fire effect stresses me out bc it looks like malice and is also distracting on my eyes (also fuck the blood moons i cleared out every monster in the joint looking for yunobo and then it fucking revived them right as i figured out how to use the cannons and ALL THEIR PARTS BURNED IN THE LAVA SO IT WASN'T EVEN WORTH IT) so i did some main quest stuff yknow just to get it set up but then the boss goron was like "hey go tell yunobo i'm not gonna make it up there today" and i was like i can't just leave the poor kid waiting up there all day (i'm very fond of this silly goron lad) so i ran all the way up there and then the dialogue was like "hey so i need to board that lizard" and the lad seemed eager to assist so i was like "well obviously i gotta do it now" so i went through all that and now WHOOPS I'M STANDING IN THE LIZARD AND IT'S DEFINITELY NOT THE BIRD so. revali's just gonna have to take a chill pill uhhhhh he'll be fine

[notasocialismjoke]

some thoughts about my totk playthrough as i approach the end

some counts atm: 17 bubbul gems. 6 shrines. at least four pieces of gear. 38 unkilled bosses. a few unkilled phantom ganons. 1 or 2 yiga dens. 26 compendium entries.

and then it's time to finish the game.

i feel kind of weird about it. you'll note that it's currently late october and this game came out in like, fucking may, right? this game has definitely slipped by now into the feel of 'i'm going to be playing it indefinitely,' like mmorpgs or minecraft feel to me, and now i'm not.

and beyond that, i've been sick the past few months without realizing (sinusitis, still investigating specifics) and like, this game got me through it. basically the entire time that i was playing the game. the intensity of my illness varied from day to day and there have been days where i was too sick to even play it but like... it's been there for me. to play when i can, to think about when i can't, and... it's not going to be gone or anything obviously, but this journey is coming to an end.

some of it's just the realization that even if i play it again (and i'm fucking going to if they add master mode, fuck i kinda wanna go back and play botw on master to fight a gold lynel/do the trial of the sword now) it's not going to have that same aspect of discovery and the unknown anymore. it's been running thin anyways for a while - i'm very much at the point now where i'm just pinging around the map trying to find and clear the last few missing points of interest - and then tears of the kingdom is familiar.

it's been a fun process, learning the game and getting better at it. i played breath of the wild and the only reason i know i ever even killed a lynel in my playthrough is because i went back to check my save and i had the drops - i genuinely assumed i'd never fought any. and now tears has got me rematching the game's hardest boss rush for fun with progressively more self-imposed restrictions each time. this game has helped me fight back against my literal nightmares. it got me through this sickness, and... the time is coming where i'm finally going to set it down for a while.

i have a lot of thoughts about this game that i hope to write up at some point, both about the game itself and my experience with it. besides that i have one more challenge that i'd like to give a good try at, but i'm going to have to figure out how to record my switch first...

i dunno what's going to be after this.

[mastabas-and-mushussu]

“Why the Alien Gods trope is bad and racist” is probably a post other people have made in better detail with more citations, but I cannot repress the urge to educate right now so let me whip up a SparkNotes version.

(Because I want to make this accessible I will not go into my desire to hunt Zecharia Sitchin for sport.)

How Not To Be A Racist 101:

• People in the culture you are learning about know more about it than you do.

• Yes, even if they’re talking about magic. I’m not saying unicorns are real or that ancient people could cast fireball in real life, I’m saying that there is cultural context you are likely missing as to why they believed in unicorns or have stories about casting fireball.

• Understand that you are coming from a position of bias. There is literally no way to not have biases. Regardless of your personal opinions about religion and/or technology, as an anthropologist it’s my job to be aware of my biases and attempt as much objectivity as possible. The easy way is to focus on the given information rather than your own assumptions (or even fantasies).

So.

How does this connect to alien gods, and why is the retconning of the Zonai concept in the Legend Of Zelda a perfect example of this?

Putting aside the fact that we have no objective proof of any kind of alien culture (other than maybe fungal culture, I’d have to check), and putting aside the conspiracy “evidence” of cultures making pyramids around the world (rocks stack real good and don’t fall down, simple science experiment), the concept of alien gods poses a single major theory:

Ancient (typically non-European) people being too stupid to achieve things without superior outside help.

While trade of ideas was commonplace in the ancient world, and no culture exists in a complete vacuum, the alien gods trope typically involves an alien culture of biologically superior beings giving inferior races advanced technology like batteries and hovercraft, because they “could not have” built their monuments without such things. Assumptions like that are a great way to kill research into what scientific evidence would suggest as a more accurate answer, which is important for understanding…. everything that exists ever. Like accepting that cars are born when a mommy car and a daddy car love eachother very much would obviously be harmful to understanding car creation, maintenance, and improvement.

So let’s apply this to videogames!!!

Magic, sci fi tech, and fantasy cultures run rampant in videogames. I’m playing Breath Of The Wild right now, and the existence of lightsaber tech in a discount medieval setting is not actually a problem to me. It’s framed more like the remnants of a forgotten civilization after an apocalypse, but it’s still rooted in the idea of coming from a terrestrial human culture that is extremely focused on information gathering. I can believe the Sheikah would be able to make mechas, especially since we see them studying and reproducing their own forgotten tech post-apocalypse.

To clarify the rest of this, Zonai (BotW) and Zonai (TotK) are going to be used to differentiate the glaring differences between the two games for the exact same culture. I have not finished either game, so this will just be surface level observation, and I invite anyone who knows more about the games to chip in.

The Zonai (BotW) in Breath of the Wild seem to be based to a significant degree on the Aztecs. They’re mostly based in a jungle environment, notable for building large stone structures covered in serpent designs with characteristics of Mesoamerican art styles. The armor set you can get that represents them, the Barbarian Armor, seems to be made out of Lynel parts, possibly bokoblin parts too, and says it increases your attack power by rousing your “inner animal” or “fighting spirit”.

There are more layers of racism in that, but if I comment on every type of racism in the game we’ll be here all day. I’m here to talk about alien gods.

My immediate comparison is the Aztec nagual, or jaguar warriors. For people who don’t know what that is, it’s comparable to Norse berserkers or ulfhednar, who wore bear skins and wolf skins respectively to try to transform or carry their power in battle.

In BotW, if I was going to channel some sort of creature to boost my fighting spirit, I would 100% pick a lynel. And the armor can be improved with lynel parts, so I might be onto something. My best guess for the serpent imagery is the only other serpent in the game: the three divine dragons. Considering they textually represent the three goddesses of creation, the Zonai (BotW) depicting the gods as serpents seems appropriate.

The Zonai (TotK) in Tears Of The Kingdom are a race of technologically superior beings that live in the sky on floating islands, who built a servant class of robots and are revealed to have married into the royal family of Hyrule. In the opening cutscene, Zelda outright calls them “gods that descended from the heavens” to bless the local Hylians. The armor set you can get that represents them, the Zonaite Set, is enchanted to increase battery efficiency when using Zonai Devices. I’m not sure if Zonaite means “made of Zonai tech/materials” or “worshipper of the Zonai”.

I don’t actually have a problem with them being some sort of alpaca creature. That’s arguably a cool decision if you did it respectfully and maybe made them Inca flavored, since there are other anthro creature races in the game. The fact that they’re significantly taller than the Hylians just dovetails neatly into the real world concept of alien gods being twelve feet tall and wielding laser cannons. I know there are Hylians in the Zonai-focused cutscenes acting as guards, but given that there are apparently only two Zonai (TotK) in the game it’s hard to say whether or not the Hylians are actively being depicted as a servant class.

On the topic of creature races, it is a problem that the bog standard enemies include an alliance of goblins and bipedal lizards, as well as several details about the Gerudo (their shoes bother me), but as I said above I’m here to talk about alien gods.

Tl;Dr:

So, to summarize, the Zonai (BotW) were a lost civilization with warlike tendencies and an animistic religion. In the sequel, the Zonai (TotK) “descended from the heavens as gods” with batteries and hoverboards and overhauled the native Hylian culture.

Considering the retcon, and the fact that the Zonai (TotK) still have some loose Mesoamerican artistic styling, I’m calling this textbook alien gods trope and in incredibly poor taste.

Breath of the Wild Zonai ruin vs Aztec stone serpents from Templo Mayor:

This is why I really, really don’t like that Tears Of The Kingdom retconned the Zonai into specifically the Alien Gods trope.

Ancient race of people with super technology who are responsible for the current empire and married into the royal family, descending from the sky. I didn’t like it a lot to begin with, but after playing Breath Of The Wild I like it a Lot Less.

[ladykailolu]

Maybe the reason why Kokichi's interested in Himiko is because she saved his life as a kid. Like fighting a intimidating monster. However she did got defeated and almost got killed, until her master saved her. Unfortunately the attack traumatized her so much that she forgot the event. Whjich why she doesn't remember him.

LANAYRU ROAD–EAST GATE: Kokichi had stumbled into the wrong territory. He thought that it’d be pretty funny to sneak up on a patrolling, armed and dangerous Lynel from behind, jump onto its back and race through the mountains as if he was riding a horse. But this Lynel wasn’t having any of it and was in a particular foul mood that day as it was starving and looking for a good meal. Kokichi hid in the bushes near a waterfall as he eyed the Lynel from afar. The black-and-white striped Lynel looked much like a zebra-lion hybrid from this distance and didn’t seem to spot Kokichi…yet. When it turned its back to patrol the road leading to Lanayru Promenade nested in the middle of a flooded valley, Kokichi knew his chance had come. He crept forward from the bushes, careful to not make even the slightest sound as the Lynel’s hearing was far superior to a human’s. His heart was racing; the Lynel was simply HUGE! It was easily three maybe even four times the size of Kokichi when standing tall, and its body showed massive defined muscles that Kokichi was sure a single back kick could knock his head clean off. Beads of sweat moistened his brow as he got closer and the Lynel looked even bigger. This was the perfect thrill, the most fun life-and-death game he’s played since, but a part of him–a very small part–questioned why he would even throw himself into danger like this. He quickly suppressed the nagging part of his brain that insisted on retreating while he still could and spare his own life because the thrill of the game had completely taken over. He was maybe four feet away from the Lynel at its back. Miraculously, it hadn’t even noticed Kokichi’s approach which emboldened the boy. Foolishly, he prided himself on his quick feet and claimed that he could outrun even a Lynel! And, boy, he was determined to prove that when he has his fun and runs away from the raging beast. Granted…he’s never actually seen a raging Lynel before…

As the Lynel had its back turned, its bloody red eyes scanning the area in front, Kokichi crept up, now within a foot of the beast’s hind legs, and seized his chance! “Alley-oop!” Deftly, he jumped as high as he could, swung his arms out to grip the beast’s hindquarters for support, successfully cleared the tail in one fluid hop, and landed squarely on the beast’s back! Immediately, the Lynel lurched and bucked, roaring feverishly and flailing about to shake the pestering flee off of its mighty and powerful body, but Kokichi wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. He quickly grabbed two fist-fulls of the Lynel’s mane and clung onto those hairs for dear life as the ride quickly became much rougher than he had previously expected. The Lynel jerked him violently back and forth, his neck whipping this way and that at alarming speeds that he felt dizzy and nauseated in just the first few seconds; his fingers hurt from his desperate grip, and his face nearly smacked against the Lynel’s back a few times when he flew forward! Needless to say, he soon regretted his decision of horseplay with this particular Lynel.

It wasn’t long when Kokichi lost most of his strength in his young and frail arms, and he was forcefully ejected from his seat and thrown quite a few yards back, landing harshly and squarely on his back in the grassy and slightly frosty dirt. The Lynel snarled and galloped forward for a few paces, eventually gliding around and drawing its savage Lynel crusher. Its bloodthirsty red eyes locked onto Kokichi, razor-sharp fangs bared clearly and lusting to taste the boy’s young and tender flesh. Arm muscles bulging, it galloped at full speed toward the slightly trembling boy, the crusher poised above its head and ready to pulverize its target. Luckily, Kokichi had enough sense to take advantage of the sudden adrenaline rush that washed over him and swiftly rolled out of the way and dodged a very fatal blow that smashed a small crater into the dirt where he once laid upon. Unfortunately, the force of the blow alone on the surrounding area was enough to catch Kokichi and knocked him away another few yards where he tumbled into the dirty, muddy banks of a small pond. He was in trouble for certain and needed to prove to himself that he really could outrun a Lynel. As the Lynel galloped away, steered into a turn and charged at Kokichi once more, the boy made a blitz to the nearest road, keeping one eye on the Lynel as he ran away and suppressing the urge to cry. Already, his arms and legs ached with muscle strain, and he was fairly certain that he had twisted one of his ankles when he tumbled into the dirt. As the Lynel closed in and nearly smashed his head into minced meat, Kokichi came face-to-face with the one fact he tried to avoid with lies: this Lynel was going to kill him right there, right then. Still, he kept running through the bushes and followed a trail that lead between steep cliffs. There was no way he was climbing out of this one, especially as the skies overhead started to darken grey, swollen with rain.

Nearby traveling in their direction was a young apprentice mage. She was the same age as Kokichi and youthful in appearance, although she tended to drag her sluggish feet when walking. She was quite sleepy at the time too, eyes drooping and head nodding a few times before she finally perked herself up at the sight and smell of rain approaching. She looked up to the sky, sighing at the rain clouds quickly forming and hurried off on the path to find those herbs her master had sent her to fetch. She wasn’t too far from the clearing just before Lanaryu Mountain at the Eastern Road. Her master had warned her to take special care of avoiding the monstrous creature he called a “Lynel” that patrols that territory. The herbs he needed were quite a ways away from the Lyenl’s territory, so he had deemed it safe and appropriate for a young mage to take on the task. Himiko remembered her master’s past lectures of Lynels during her studies of fantastical creatures. She recalled that he explained they were “terrible, powerful, and frightening examples of evil at work. They are vicious, predatory and ultra aggressive. To face one, you had better be well-prepared.” Alas, she doesn’t remember their weaknesses or strengths because she had dozed off during that part. She trekked on, clearly feeling some splashes of water drip on her face and hands as the rain was approaching ever closer. She also heard a noise that sounded much like thunder. Was there a storm coming too? The thunderstorms in the area were always very violent and dangerous as lighting strikes the ground often and sparks wildfires. She had better show a little bit of hustle to get those herbs and return then she’ll have a nice nap later on. When she walks a bit further on the road, it sounds less like thunder and more like…roaring? Was a wild beast nearby? She had a few tomes on her person, but she wasn’t sure if her master would approve of hunting when she should be foraging. And hunting sounds like it would be so much work, so she tried to ignore it and move on. But it couldn’t be ignored. …Especially when Kokichi made a mad dash from the bushes and tackled right into her!

By now, the heavens had opened and rain drenched the sharp precipices and dampened the ground. He had knocked into her with such force that it swept her off of her feet and right onto her backpack! Ouch! She would be feeling that for a few days afterward…Kokichi was heaving by now. Time and time again, he narrowly cheated death by dodging the Lynel’s massive steel crusher, fat fireballs, and feverish charges to collide with a random girl! His legs stung and ached so vigorously that he found it hard to regain his strength to stand, let alone run away. This might very well be the end for him. Himiko was dazed at first; she was clearly not expecting to be ambushed, but when she saw the fear and exhaustion on Kokichi’s face, she was more awake and alert than ever that day. The kids shuddered when they heard a mighty roar shatter the air around them. Desperate for life, Kokichi tried to crawl across Himiko’s lap, not quite ready to give up the escape for life, as Himiko frantically searched through her bag for a tome. When she found a fire tome and started the incantation, the Lynel was nearly upon them, charging with its teeth agape and claws ready to rip them to shreds. Himiko casted a fair-sized fireball that struck the Lynel directly in the face, stunning it momentarily and buying the kids a few more seconds to cling to life. As Kokichi was exhausted from escaping earlier, he could barely run at half his normal speed, prompting Himiko to grab one of his arms and tug on him to run faster. The Lynel lurched again, charging at them head-on. Himiko launched another fireball that stunned the Lynel in its tracks, but it was right upon them, and instead of flinching, it raised its forelegs, attempting to stomp the two humans to death. The strong and tough hooves knocked Himiko’s tome out of her hands as if it was swatting a fly; Himiko quickly flinched, expecting the worst when she saw one of the legs swinging closely and ready to smack into her head. Instead, Kokichi swiftly shoved her away out of the way and braced himself for impact by raising his arms in a defensive position. The Lynel’s legs slammed into Kokichi’s raised arm, easily knocking it out of alignment and sending the boy kneeling on the wet earth, doubled over in pain and clutching his arm. It wasn’t responding and stubbornly remained limp–he knew it was broken, perhaps even shattered, but he refused to shout in pain to give the foul beast the pleasure. Instead, he furiously cried his pain, his anger, his shame, and his despair into his tears as he remained hunched over, bracing himself for the final blow.

Himiko tried to drag him away in some futile effort to escape the Lynel’s clutches, but they both knew it was too late. The monster was fully upon them; they could smell the atrocious odor of its breath that choked their lungs, stung their eyes, and nearly induced their gagging reflexes. Quickly, Himiko threw herself over Kokichi’s body and prayed to whatever god was left for their safe passage into the afterlife as she knew death was calling for them. A few seconds passed, however, and they were still alive. Still…alive? Himiko cautiously removed herself from Kokichi and looked up–the Lynel froze to that exact spot, its arms open and ready to crush them altogether into pancakes. Indeed, it stood as still as a statue and covered with a faint glowing red light. “Himiko,” She recognized that voice, “Haven’t I told you that fire tomes are virtually useless during a heavy rain storm?” She turned and saw–her master! He was wielding his usual staff which glowed in that same soft red color as the Lynel as he peered down towards her and the boy. “M-master? I-I…was so scared.” “Indeed, you were.” He cast a dismissive look upon her, as if scolding her for making a rookie mistake, before raising and tapping his staff to the ground. The glowing Lynel shrunk into a small glowing red ball of light before completely vanishing in a few flashes, back to its territory. “If you weren’t sleeping in class, you would have also known that Lynels are extremely resistance to the elements. Now, let’s get you home.” “But the herbs…! And…!” She looked toward Kokichi who was still huddled in the dirt. His wound must be killing him–she can still remember seeing him raise his arm to that Lynel in her place…and how the Lynel nearly tore right through it. He was breathing heavily, and she could hear some faint sobs from his direction. So…he was crying, after all. As her master reclaimed her backpack and cleaned up the books and other items that had spilled when she was hit, she felt heavy pressure upon her head before she blacked out entirely.

When she awoke, she was laying on an infirmary bed, safe within the village she called home. She had a few bandages on her head covering a bloody wound she had received when she fell backwards and hit her head on some small yet sharp rocks. She couldn’t remember what had happened other than she was on her way to the Lanayru Eastern Gate and suddenly blacked out. It happened to be raining at that time so maybe she slipped and hit her head on a rock? Who knows? Certainly not her as the more she thinks about the time before and after that incident, the more her head aches and tortures her until she refused to think about it at all. During her sleep, her master had thought it was best to extract that traumatic experience from her mind lest the fear of seeing that Lynel serve as a mental block for developing her magical talent. He was worried about her physical and mental well-being, after all, which had prompted him to pursue her once he felt the overwhelming presence of a Lynel nearby. As for the boy…he had vanished as mysteriously as he came. He had looked so dreadful and pitifully helpless after the Lynel was sent away. With a dislocated arm and shattered bones, there was no way he could survive in the wild by his lonesome. Therefore, Himiko’s master had invited the boy into the village at least until he recovers completely. Kokichi had agreed, but he must have slipped off somewhere when Himiko’s master turned his back. Kids these days…

In truth, Kokichi had quietly slipped away when the man had turned his back and faced the road to the village. The boy had refused help because he had trouble trusting others who weren’t his brother or the organization he leads. Those were the only people he could trust. The only…ones…With the last of his strength before he passed out, he had reached the current secret spot of DICE where his subordinates, along with his younger brother, had immediately rushed out to receive him. At some point between collapsing and hitting the dirt, Kokichi must have passed out as he doesn’t remember entering their base. They did all they can to help Kokichi recover, making him comfortable, telling jokes, sharing some soft and light pranks and whatnot–whatever that could lighten the mood. The process of restoring Kokichi‘s arm to it’s natural state was certainly not easy nor painless, but he still endured it, and after a while with the help of some healing magic, his arm was completely healed and as good as new! Still, he couldn’t forget the sight of that cute mage girl that he had protected during that scary skirmish. He would make a promise to himself to someday meet her again. Now what was her name…? Hime? Hikari…? Hi..Hi..

“…Himiko!”

[thezoraprince]

Sick Day - Sidon x Reader Headcanon

i’ve been sick the past couple of days, so of course i’ve been playing a bit of botw. 

enjoy :)

Sidon is very much a worrier when something isn’t right

and even more so when you’re sick

he’ll put aside every task he has planned for the day (or week) and take care of you

his princely duties can wait

and Muzu is FURIOUS about it (like... you know Sidon’s gonna get an earful when he returns to his routine)

you assure him that you can take care of yourself

you would also hate for him to get sick as well

“Let me take care of you, y/n.”

he’s so sweet

he’s also persistent

and though he is a little overbearing (in the nicest of ways)

you know no one else in all of Hyrule would set aside their daily routine to help you get well

you’re always his top priority

so you let him take care of you

he cooks your favorite soup for you for lunch (because he’s absolutely memorized the recipe)

and has enough blankets to smother a Lynel brought to your room 

TONS of forehead kisses

… to check you temperature, obviously

“You do feel a bit warmer than usual. Is that normal for Hylians when they’ve fallen ill?”

he’s got a stash of cool towels for your fever ready to go

he hates that you’re not feeling well

but he absolutely loves that he gets to spend all this time with you

you keep each other entertained as to not have to go out

but it’s so easy to do

he’ll let you lay your head on his chest when you start feeling tired

of course you don’t mind at all

because he is cozy

you will absolutely fall asleep in his arms

“Rest well, my pearl. I’ll be right here when you wake.”

and he won’t move an inch

he’ll end up napping with you for sure, holding you closer than ever

[fatefulfaerie]

#thirsty-and-in-denial-zelda

@snidgetwidgeon @intangiblyyourswrites I did another one.

The real reason Zelda initially shows such an abhorrence to Link is because she’s secretly head-over-heels for him and refuses to show it. Her pride is on the line, after all.

The rules were:

-must be set in the Botw timeline

-when it’s set is up to you (e.g. Pre-Calamity or post, pre-Blades of the Calamity or post)

-no chronology enforced, but I’m interested to see if we can get a somewhat coherent story out of this!

-you may do however many posts/drabbles you’d like

-tag #thirsty-and-in-denial-Zelda so we can find your story!

A Night To Forget

Eight feet apart. Don’t speak out of turn and you won’t get spoken to. Eight feet apart. Always keep her in your sight. Eight feet apart. She dies and so do you.

His duty was drilled in his mind, cycling through his thoughts and running rapid with continuous steps. Don’t speak out of turn and you won’t get spoken to. Always keep her in your sight. She dies and so do you.

And thus his stoic, unmoving eyes were fixed on her in her royal blue dress, the way her long, blonde hair fell down to her lower back, the way it moved slightly as she walked. Link seemed to show no reaction to her figure, her tense shoulders, her balled fists, the frustrated green eyes he couldn’t see. Link trudged on behind the Princess with no expression to betray his mysterious, unknown thoughts. Princess Zelda hated her shadow, loathed its stare upon her in this echoing castle corridor.

Eight feet apart. It was no rule he was told, but Link was a sensible young man.

A Lynel is a ferocious creature, with the strength of an army and the resilience of a hot summer. Yet, the first time Link saw one in the wild, he saw it sleeping. Link’s father warned him not to wake it, to keep his distance and not incur the Lynel’s anger. They stayed a good distance away until the threat passed.

It seemed Link copied the lesson when interacting with his charge. Whether he was being ceremoniously blessed by her highness or journeying with her to Goron City, it seemed best to stay eight feet away from her anger.

And she seemed to prefer it that way, too.

She entered the large ballroom without a word to her knight attendant. Link stopped to stand guard at the entryway and Zelda tried to forget that by order, his eyes would be on her the entire night.

It was absolutely boring, and his feet ached in his brown leather boots like he never thought they could. And, although he had already eaten before escorting the princess to the royal banquet, watching the royals and court members and racial representatives eat made Link hungry.

It was two whole hours until something remarkable happened past conversations out of earshot and speeches dull with monotony, Link almost longing for a Yiga attack just to have something to do.

Yet Urbosa was walking toward him with her arm around Zelda and Link prepared himself for a different kind of battle, standing straighter up. Had the Princess recruited the Gerudo chieftain to hurl her anger for her? Urbosa had a much sharper and stronger tongue and Link knew from stories that the Gerudo language was laced with profanities Link couldn’t even begin to rebuke.

Instead, Urbosa came much closer than expected and Zelda’s eyes were filled with more fatigue than hate. Urbosa looked from her right to her left before she leaned in more.

“I need you to take Zelda to her chambers,” Urbosa whispered. To Link’s surprise, Zelda voiced no objection.

“What’s wrong with her?”

“I didn’t notice until now but one of the Gerudo mistook her age and gave her a Noble Pursuit to drink.” Link’s eyes widened.

“She’s drunk?” Link half-mouthed, half-whispered.

“She didn’t know the difference and with her tiny frame, the one she drank was enough. I should have been paying better attention.”

“You and me both.”

“I’ll go make an excuse to the King,” Urbosa said as she practically forced her into Link’s arms. “You get her to her bedroom safe. The King cannot see her like this.”

So much for eight feet. Link was practically hugging her and vice versa. His cheeks warmed and his heart pounded. Had he ever before been this close to danger?

Link nodded and turned to leave, unable to forget who of all people was clinging to his tunic as he left the ballroom.

“Where are we going?” She asked, slowly and slurred.

“I’m taking you to your chambers, Your Highness.”

“Mm,” she hummed before slowly pushing herself to stand up on her own. She was still close to Link but now only had a hand on his shoulder. Zelda took her other hand and drew circles on his shoulder as she focused on it.

“You’re wearing Link’s shirt,” she said. “You...you’re Link.”

“Yes I am.”

Her hand gripped his shoulder and she stopped.

“Wait,” she said.

Link barely got a chance to turn around on his own before Zelda turned him around herself, with both hands on either of his shoulders.

“I need...to tell you something,” she said lethargically. She looked as if she were about to pass out and Link continued to study her with concern.

She took a hand and pointed a finger at him.

“What do you think of that?” She asked.

“You didn’t tell me anything,” Link said contrastingly soberly.

Zelda blinked her eyes a couple times.

“Was I supposed to?” she asked.

Link let out a sigh and placed his hand on her shoulders instead, leading her to her chambers.

“Come on,” he said, Zelda stumbling a bit. “You’ve gotta sleep this off.”

“Mm,” She said with a soft exhale. “You’re nice...and you’re so sweet, all the time you’re just so sweet. You’re perfect, perfect eyes, perfect hair, perfect teeth. How are you so perfect?”

“I’m not perfect,” Link argued.

“Yes you are,” she said, nodding. “The kingdom loves you.”

She took a pause as Link continued to lead her along.

“I wish I was perfect,” she said. Link readjusted his grip. They were nearing her chambers.

“You are,” Link argued.

Zelda’s lungs erupted in a laugh Link had never heard before. He had to keep himself from getting lost in it, remembering she was laughing at her own inadequacy, seemingly uncontrollable wheezing as they finally reached her chamber. Link closed the door behind them.

“Your Highness,” he prompted to stop her, moving to her to face him as her laughter faded. “It’s time to go to bed now.”

“So soon?” She asked.

“Yes,” Link said with nods.

“Link,” she practically interrupted. She touched the left side of his face with a hand that didn’t try to be gentle. “I still haven’t told you...how perfect you are.”

“Yes you have,” Link said slowly, trying to make her understand, pulling her hand from his face before holding her hands in his. “You can go to sleep now.”

She nodded as she grabbed the cloths of his blue tunic, the ones closest to his collarbone. He was pulled to her and could smell the sweet and yet bitter Noble Pursuit on her breath.

Their noses brushed against each other and Link felt his stoicism melt away. She kissed him quickly, impatiently and impulsively and for a lingering second Link too, thought himself drunk. He could taste the Noble Pursuit and yet he was drunk with love, intoxicated by her perfection. Their lips played with each other like a new toy, like someone picking up a new instrument and simply wanting to make noise, to see what it would sound like.

Zelda rescinded from him quickly, covering her mouth and starting to retch. Link thought quickly, grabbing a nearby basin and bringing her knees before it.

Puke spewed from her mouth just after she thought to move her hand, Zelda’s hands gripping the handles of the basin.

“That’s a bit more accurate,” Link said as he made sure every strand of hair was behind her shoulders. Zelda panted as she stared at the bucket, obviously expecting more. “It’ll be good to get that out of your system.”

A second strain escaped her mouth, Link wincing at the sight and yet thinking she likely had it worse.

Zelda panted as she sat back on her heels and looked at Link, who already had a rag ready and was wiping her face clean.

“This isn’t in your line of duty,” she said as he did. “You are meant to make me look less perfect.”

Link blinked his eyes as they swam in sadness, rescinding the rag. So that is what it was. He was perfect, he pulled the sword and was ready to face Calamity Ganon with no expressed hesitation. She was imperfect, inadequate to rule the kingdom and unable to access the sealing power meant to save it.

“I didn’t mean to,” he said. “The kingdom did that on their own.”

Zelda stared at him and her green eyes pierced straight to his heart.

“Link…” she said breathlessly. Her eyelids were flitted closed. “Am I drunk?”

Link nodded.

“And it’s time to sleep off the rest,” he said as he led her to standing, gently prompting her until, in her tight, corseted royal dress, she lay down on her bed. Link didn’t think that was the most comfortable thing to sleep in but there was absolutely no way he was changing her into anything else. He pushed the thought from his mind as Zelda curled up and made herself comfortable.

Link turned to leave her to her much needed slumber, picking up the sullied basin on his way.

“Thank you,” he heard a small voice pipe. It was almost recognizable and thus Link turned back around to Zelda in surprise. She had thanked him, not only that, she had tolerated him, she had depended on him, she had talked to him and not at him.

She had touched him, leaned on him, clutched him. She had kissed him.

She was drunk.

Link forced that truth to the forefront of his mind as he left Zelda in her chambers.

The morning after, the princess’ knight attendant was at her door. Zelda gave Link a look of resentment and hatred before walking a distance in front of him. Link waited eight feet until he started walking too, ensuring she ran into no danger on her way to breakfast with her father.

Eight feet apart. Did she have a headache? Don’t speak out of turn and you won’t get spoken to. Was she feeling groggy? Eight feet apart. Does she need more time to rest? Always keep her in your sight. Did she remember anything? Eight feet apart. Do I want her to? She dies and so do you.

Link soon figured out that Princess Zelda did not remember that night, and that she never would. Although Link kept it in his mind for a spell, in particular unable to forget their kiss and how it made him feel, it wasn’t long before he forgot everything.

[needs-to-stop-looking-at-yigas]

OOH can we see how Kohga would react to Mipha asking for relationship advice? Since she’d see how devoted and passionate Sooga is for his Master, and not really anyone else in their group is in a relationship soooo

I’m just obsessed with him just adoring Mipha and trying his ass off to get her and Link together it’s so cute

One, thank you for recognizing the fact that Kohga playing Mipha’s wingman is possibly the best idea I’ve EVER had. Two, I am SO ready to start this absolute soft shit. Smut is fun and all, but come on, Kohga trying to hook bitches up is amazing. And third, this got waay out of hand, so enjoy some double dates here.

“So, did you get me something?”

Sooga hardly left Master Kohga’s side. Whenever he had to, be it to lend a hand elsewhere; he had TWO rules to follow; come home to him at the end of the day, and bring him something. Kohga had been sitting here, having tea with Mipha, while Sooga offered to help Sidon hunt for sneaky river snails (Sooga had a real knack for knowing where to find them). They came back with quite the haul, so the fact that he managed to get anything else was nothing to scoff at. He put the large bag of fish down on the floor, and from his pockets, produced a small cage. Inside the cage was what appeared to be a winterwing butterfly. Kohga clapped his hands together, clearly loving it.

“Ooh, I’ve been looking for one of these!”

“I know. It was why I had to stop in the middle of fishing to catch it for you. I may have let Sidon fall in the water in my haste. Maybe.”

Mipha cocked her head to the side upon seeing his reaction to the small bug.

“You like bugs?”

“Just the butterflies. I only keep them for a day or two before I let them go, I just think they’re neat.”

Kohga took a hold of Sooga’s chin, grinning from ear to ear.

“And SOMEONE seemed to remember me saying I wanted this specific one. You’re such a sap, Sooga.”

Sooga was trying (and failing) not to smile.

“I listen to EVERY word you say, master Kohga.”

“Ugh, you’re being mushy again. Get outta my face, go help shark boy with the fish.”

Kohga tried to look mean as he gently pushed his face away, but it was plainly obvious; Kohga loved him. Sooga pardoned himself, hoisted the bag over his shoulder, and walked off with Sidon. Mipha took a sip of her tea, watching as Kohga lightly shook his head. She knew it was a bad emotion to feel, but she couldn’t resist feeling a bit jealous. They were so happy with one another, and yet, her own love and affections were clearly not recognized by the one boy she loved, more than anything. Perhaps…

“Kohga? Can I ask something?”

“Whatever you want.”

Kohga stopped ogling his boyfriend for a second and gave her his attention, snacking on the cookies she made, just for him (shaped in just the cutest seashells). She squirmed a bit in her seat, unsure of how to go about it, before she finally came out with it.

“How...did you get someone to love you, the way Sooga does?”

Kohga stopped eating for a second, looking at her sullen face. This little fish was just sweeter than banana bread, and it hurt poor ol’ Kohga to see her love so much, without Goldilocks even talking about it with her. Sure they were young, and they had forever to talk about this stuff, but there was no time like the present.

“Sooga is a fucking idiot, for one, and I attract idiots. Second, you kinda just. Come out with it. We started off as friends before anything, and that’s now all relationships start. Course, your case is a BIT different from mine. You want my honest opinion? Just shoot your shot. I mean, worst he’s gonna say is no. Or nothing with his mute ass…”

Kohga mumbled that last part, helping himself to another sip of tea. Realizing it didn’t seem to be very helpful, he sighed.

“Or, you could cook him something. Call me old fashioned, but my mama always said the quickest way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. I make mean salmon skin, look at the hunk I bagged.”

They both turned to look at Sooga, who was busy de shelling the fish alongside Sidon. Mipha pursed her little lips, before softly nodding.

“I...suppose that isn’t a bad idea at all. If I can find the courage in my heart to ask him.”

Just then, Kohga noticed Link walking alongside the princess. Small land, honestly. Kohga put his hands to the side of his face, crying out to Link.

“Yo Goldilocks! Mipha’s cookin’ tonight, you want in?!”

Link nodded, giving a thumbs up. Kohga shrugged.

“See? Easy. You just gotta be straightforward with boys.”

Mipha held her face in her hands, obviously embarrassed.

“But what do I do WHEN I make him something?! What do I say? What do I talk about with him?”

Kohga loved Mipha, really he did, but girl needed to stop seeing boys as a lynel, and more along the lines of wild horses. Something to tame, not to fear. He sighed.

“Tell you what. Me and Sooga will join you, sorta like a double date kinda deal. I’ll be there if the date goes bad, and we can dip when the date is going GOOD.”

Mipha looked up from the table with just the softest eyes you’ve ever seen.

“You...would do that, for me?”

“Course, lil red! You’re like, my favorite in the little team of goody two shoes. Plus, free eats, can’t complain-”

She suddenly got out of her seat, and nearly pounced on him for a hug. The things he did for love.

--------------------------------------------

“He here yet?”

“Not quite, but I’m just about done!”

Kohga came back a while later, alongside Sooga. Kohga had his own men helping her in the kitchen, setting up the dining room, everything she could need, Kohga helped with. Kohga scoffed as he put his gift on the dining room table (he’d be remiss if he didn’t bring something to drink for the occasion), lightly pulling up one of her fins, and scoffing.

“Okay, let the boys finish up. Sooga, get to work on this girl, she needs to focus on being as pretty as a fresh stack of banana pancakes.”

Sooga nodded, prompting Mipha to follow him to her bedroom. Kohga was about to see just what she was cooking, before the main doors flew open. Link. Aka, Goldilocks, aka, the guy that never fucking knocked. He was wearing the classic gerudo outfit. A real tits out look, and honestly Kohga would jump on that in a heartbeat.

“Goldilocks! Bit early! How you doing? Mipha will be ready in just a second, take a seat, lemme get you a drink!”

Link nodded. Kohga chatted him up for a minute, serving him a nice glass of banana wine (it’s actually VERY good). When he caught the eyes of Sooga, he pardoned himself and dipped into the hallway. He took one gander at Mipha, and gave a whistle.

“Girl look at YOU! Lookin’ prettier than a pack of opals!”

She really did look like a beauty. Freshly touched lipstick, sharpened nails, her silver jewelry replaced with gold, and instead of her usual blue sash, Sooga somehow managed to find time to make a blue, see through looking dress for her. It fit around her body snugly, but it was a loose, comfortable material, perfect for fashion, and function. Sooga was so talented, getting that together so quickly. Kohga nodded towards Link.

“Go keep him busy, gotta give this girl a pep talk.”

Sooga nodded. Once he left, Kohga carefully put his hands on her shoulders.

“Look at me. Lookin? Okay good. You like this guy, so be you. BUT, you need to let him know you’re interested. Be flirty. Touch his hands, compliment him, fucking, feed him from your plate- make it obvious. You’re a princess. He’s a knight, it’s GONNA happen.”

She nodded firmly, shoulder’s straight as a Lynel’s. 

“I can do this!”

She peered over at Link, and immediately hid behind a wall again.

“I can’t do this! He’s wearing the voe armor!”

“For the love of…”

Kohga sighed. Why did he love all these shy bitches?

“Mipha. You’re gonna make HIM drool, not the other way around. Come on, you’ve got this. I’ll be right here, I’ll make you look good as hell. On three. One. Two. Three!”

He carefully pushed her towards the dining room, and Mipha looked ready to have a heart attack. Poor thing.

“Link! It’s so nice to have you over! I hope my invitation wasn’t sudden!”

Link shook his head. Kohga, sensing things were still awkward, jumped in. He was always the fun one at parties.

“Hey, you know what, we should totally start eating! I heard Mipha made quite the spread, Sooga why don’t you help bring the stuff out?”

Sooga nodded, heading into the kitchen. Kohga gestured for all of them to take a seat (with Mipha sitting right next to Link of course), and him just a bit away from them. Close enough to be supportive, but just far enough to beat it if he was cramping their style. Soon enough, trays of food were brought in, and even Kohga had to admit, he was starved.

“Master Kohga?”

“Yes, Sooga?”

“I’m sorry.”

He was about to ask what for, but then he saw it. Fish dish. Fish dish, not a single dish WASN’T fish. And he couldn’t just NOT eat her food, less he make Mipha’s food look awful. Kohga gulped, and Mipha seemed to catch onto his distress.

“Oh Kohga, I’m so sorry, I forgot you didn’t like fish! Please, let me make you-”

“Nope!”

Kohga could feel his ass sweating. He was really gonna sit here and eat fish, because Mipha deserved it. Link looked over at him, clearly just as confused as anyone else. Kohga forced himself to chuckle.

“I mean...I HATE clam chowder. A lot. It’s gross, it’s squishy, it smells AWFUL. Unless it’s Mipha’s. I LOVE Mipha’s clam chowder! She is just. SUCH  a good cook, I could eat a whole bowl!”

Link looked him right in his face, grabbed a bowl, and filled it completely with clam chowder. He slid the bowl over to him, and Kohga wanted to throw up. That yucky, smelly smell of fish. 

“Son of a bitch..I mean, yum! Thank you, Link.”

Mipha just had to like this blonde asshole. Sooga made a motion to grab the bowl, but Kohga halted him. He was going to do this for Mipha. He took a taste of it, and he fought every urge not to puke. Dear god, the smell and the taste was awful. But he forced himself to swallow, smiling.

“See? I l-like it! So it’s GOTTA be good! Mipha is just, so talented!”

Link seemed satisfied, helping himself to a bowl. Mipha looked at Kohga, clearly worried, but he shook his head. 

“Make it up to me by getting some, Mipha.”

He muttered underneath his breath, forcing himself to eat more. Sooga had no problems, this asshole, eating fish like it was nothing. Mipha pretended like she didn’t know anything was wrong, giving her attention towards Link.

“So, Link! You’ve been over at the Gerudo desert, I take it. Urbosa is doing well, I trust?”

Kohga didn’t pay attention to the one sided conversation, too focused on handling the thick creamy broth. His stomach churned, his head hurt, and he was just. Dying. Not even Sooga could help him. He was going to bail, but he saw it in Mipha’s eyes. She was getting more nervous, and this was JUST from watching Link eat. Oh god this was a mess. He forced himself to think past the creamy mush still left in his bowl.

“So, Link, what do you think of Mipha’s new look? Nice right?”

Link looked her up and down, before giving Mipha a thumbs up. Her cheeks exploded in color, and she looked ready to just melt. Kohga tried not to gag at the fish burp he just had.

“And Mipha, thoughts on Link’s outfit?”

Mipha hesitated, letting herself get a look at him, totally not looking at that titty (atta girl), before softly nodding.

“You had it dyed white, it looks very...nice, Link. It really goes with your golden hair.”

Distracted by her thoughts, she played with a strand of his hair, before suddenly realizing what she was doing. They both looked away, buried in blush, just two, dumb, flirty messes. Oh his girl was KILLING IT. Kohga forced himself to gulp down his bowl (somehow not choking on the chunks), nearly gasping as he finished. Oh that was a mistake. That did NOT feel right. Didn’t matter, Mipha was GETTING somewhere with this guy. He whispered to her, nudging at her side.

“Offer him some of your food.”

“But? He has the same thing in-”

“Say yours is different. Just do it, trust me. Sooga! With me, kitchen, now.”

They dipped into the kitchen, and Sooga immediately handed him a bucket. Just in time for Kohga to purge his guts. Sooga patted his back, sighing.

“No one told you to finish the bowl, Kohga.”

“I am SUPPORTIVE, dammit! She deserves-”

Yet another purge of his guts. He groaned, relying heavily on Sooga to keep him upright.

“If it makes you feel better, I’m VERY proud of you. Going through so much for the sake of her happiness. You’re a wonderful person.”

“Sooga, that’s sweet, but dear god I’m throwing up here, shut the fuck up.”

Kohga was three for three, and he was wondering if it was worth it. Then he peered into the dining room. Mipha was spoon feeding him from her bowl, going so far as to scold him for his messy face, and cleaning it with a cloth napkin. It was adorable, it was sweet, and dear god was this worth it. Sooga chuckled, peering down at Kohga.

“You’re incredible, Master Kohga, letting her have this.”

“I AM pretty great, aren’t I?”

They sat there, watching them. For a moment, for a brief, sweet moment, she wasn’t shy. She was honest with herself, she was even just a bit flirty. And Link looked as if he wasn’t clueless. It was so goddamn sweet, it was worth every second of stomach pain. Kinda.

“Oh it’s coming again- he better marry this girl, or I’m starting the war all the fuck over again.”

He was complaining, sure. But he was really, honestly proud of his little Mipha. He’d do this again and again, if it meant getting to see such a sweet, happy smile.

He just prayed he didn’t have to.

[inkedmyths]

Evening Breeze

Here it is!! After so long! More Feral!

This one's pretty soft ngl

---

Night had long since settled. The skies were clear, giving Twilight a perfect view of the stars. It was fascinating, really. He didn’t think he recognized any of the constellations. Was this Hyrule the same one he’d walked across, just countless years in the future? Or was it some sort of parallel plane of existence? He had no idea, and perhaps was putting too much thought into it. Did it really matter, in the end?

Wild had drifted off to sleep moments before. He wasn’t sure exactly how comfortable the boy was in the position he’d fallen asleep in, legs tucked close and body curled at an odd angle, but he wasn’t about to question it as it seemed it worked well enough for the younger Hero. Perhaps, he decided, the less he questioned about Wild, the better.

He couldn't see Feral nearby, and glanced around momentarily. Had he wandered off somewhere? He was still concerned about the outcome of the earlier conversation. A quiet sound met his ears, and he whipped his head towards the source in surprise.

Feral was leaning against a tree nearby. That wasn't necessarily odd, but Twilight was surprised to see he had a ukulele in his hands and was quietly strumming it. With a glance at Wild's sleeping form, he pushed himself to his feet and quietly made his way to where the shadow was sitting.

He paused midstrum, looking up. "What's up?"

"Nothing, really," Twilight said, shrugging. "Came to see what you were doing. Where'd you get the ukulele?"

"I carry it around." That answered exactly nothing, but Twilight decided it wasn't important. Though it did raise the question of if Feral had his own storage. He obviously didn't have his own slate, so…

He shook the thought away. Not important, and he suspected the answer would give him a headache. "Didn't think you were the musical type," he said instead, sitting beside him.

Feral shrugged. "Fair enough, but I'm far more musical than Blondie Bumble-fingers over there," he said, nodding at Wild's sleeping form.

"That so?"

"Oh yeah. He couldn't play three notes in tune if his life depended on it." He strummed a chord. "Not a bad singer, though. It's pretty funny actually. Can sing, can dance, but hand him an ocarina and you're treated to the most offkey playing of a nursery rhyme you've ever heard."

Twilight snorted. "But you can?"

"Sure thing." Feral grinned. "I've used this here instrument to annoy the hell out of many an enemy. The banana fuckers give the best reactions, but it's fun to lead lynels on a wild chase while improvising a song on exactly how ugly they are."

"So it's a tool of chaos?"

"Of course!" Feral paused a moment. "Well, part of the time, anyway. I do actually play. Like, real songs, I mean."

Twilight nodded thoughtfully. They sat in silence for a moment before he spoke again. "So… how'd you pick it up in the first place?"

Another pause. "It's been a while. But… it was the first time we visited Lurelin Village. It's a little place on the coast, a fishing town. Nice place, good people. We go down there when we're in the area, sometimes take a raft out to sea and hang out, look for treasure."

An image flashed to Twilight's mind of another Hero, younger than them, with a freckled face kissed by the island sun, hair swept by the ocean breeze, and sea green eyes. Wind would love Wild when they met, he was sure of it. "Sounds nice."

"It is. So, anyway, one day we were wandering around, doing our normal thing. And we passed by this dude with a group of kids at his feet, and he had a ukulele and was strumming a song and singing with them." Feral strummed the instrument in his lap, replaying the chords in his mind. He was silent again.

"What song?" Twilight asked after a moment.

"Well, I think he played a few. The one I really remember…" He played a few chords, and a familiar tune stood out, and now Twilight was reminded of a different Hero.

"Zelda's Lullaby," he said, reminded of a quiet night where the eldest Hero had taken first watch, playing the tune on his beloved ocarina.

Feral nodded. "You know, I'm not sure why I stopped. It's not like I had any reason to when there were other things to do. I guess I was curious about it, so I stayed and listened for a little while." He fingered the strings, more fidgety than actually playing. "The guy, Cloyne, noticed me, and beckoned me over. Asked me if I knew any songs or knew how to play. I said no, of course. Asked if I wanted to learn how to play something. I said sure. Maybe it's just another quirk of mine or something, but I caught onto the simple chords pretty quickly. It was actually pretty fun, and I liked it, so I stuck around a little while."

It was an odd mental image, Feral among ordinary Hylians, singing and playing a song, but perhaps not an overly outlandish one. If you didn't pick up on his too-bright eyes and cold skin, it was easy to pass the shadow off as one of the Sheikah. Perhaps that's what they did. He'd have to ask about that at some point.

"Of course I left a little later with Link, but before we left the village path, he stopped me and asked about the playing. I shrugged and said it was just kind of something that happened on a whim. Link being the way he is pressed further, asking if I enjoyed it and had fun. I said sure, because it was, and then…" Feral smiled down at the instrument, shaking his head. "That blond idiot ran all the way back to the village to run around and ask anyone if they had an extra he could buy."

Twilight laughed. "Seriously?"

"Yeah, he did, and ran around from building to building until he found someone with one they were willing to sell. Proudly marched back up the path and presented it to me, telling me to learn how to play whatever I wanted. So here I am, playing whatever I feel like."

"That's a little ridiculous, but from what I've seen of Wild, completely believable."

"Yeah," Feral laughed. "He's a dork like that. It wasn't the first or the last time he did something like that, too."

"Some sort of compulsive gift giver?"

"A little, yeah. It's more like he goes out of his way to help people and show them he cares, y'know?"

Twilight hummed, smiling. Yeah, he could easily picture that being a trait of the younger Hero. All of the Heroes had something like that, in a sense. A drive to help others. An inherent kindness. He himself traveled cross-continent to help others.

They said nothing for a while, the only sounds being the faint rustling of leaves and the soft plinks of the strings as Feral brushed his fingers across them. Twilight found himself beginning to grow tired, the day's traveling and the incident with the Lynel catching up with him. He rubbed his face in an attempt to stay present.

"You can sleep, you know." Twilight glanced over as Feral spoke. "It's been a long day. I can keep watch."

"You sure?"

"Of course. Besides, I'll probably do a better job of it than you." The shadow grinned. "Perks of being nonmortal: I don't need to sleep."

That was certainly a perk. "Can't argue with that. Wake me up if there's trouble, though?"

Feral shrugged. "No worries. If anything worth knowing immediately happens, expect a face full of Energizing Elixir."

Twilight made a face. "On second thought, I'll stay awake."

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" Feral snickered.

He frowned. After the frog incident, he wasn't so sure. Though, speaking about nonmortal… "Are you doing alright? After earlier, I mean. I know it was… a lot."

Feral quieted. "Yeah, I'm okay. Like, it doesn't surprise me, I mean. I told you before, I'm well aware I'm the exception to the rule." There was a weight to his words, something being implied there, though Twilight couldn't be sure what. "I guess I'm just… on edge."

"How so?"

The shadow looked him in the eye, growing unusually serious. "Look, I may not know everything about what's happening, but I do know this: other things like me out there? Things that have ill intent? That are completely unchecked, unbound, with no thought to anyone else's well being? That's bad. Really bad."

His throat tightened. "It is."

"I don't like that situation with the Lynel. If what you said is true, and there are more monsters out there that are affected like that, then that puts a lot of people in danger." He glanced towards where Wild lay sleeping. "People here are just beginning to get out and explore, see the world, rest easy. If they get hurt or worse by this…"

"I know. Believe me, I know." Twilight thought of Ordon village, surrounded by forest. Forest that could all too easily hide infected monsters. "That's why we're here. Why we're looking. It's a Hero's job to protect people, and that's what we're going to do."

"Of course. I'll be there too." His signature grin returned to his face. "I want to find out what it's like to punch another shadow in the nose."

Twilight snorted. "Maybe you'll just pass through each other."

"Or maybe his face will explode."

Groaning, he covered his eyes. "That is not a mental image I needed. Now I'm more tired than before."

Laughing, Feral waved him off. "Go to sleep then, Frog Foot. I'll let you know if I punch anything."

Rolling his eyes, Twilight stood up and returned to where he'd set out his stuff for the night. He glanced at Wild, who was still fast asleep, and now in a somehow more uncomfortable looking position. What a pair these two were. He settled down, giving the tree where Feral was sitting one last look before he closed his eyes.

Just in case, though, he slept face down.

[jinmukangwrites]

Hey jin could maybe do a continuation of don't remember. It makes my heart hurt. Love your writing!

So... This ended up long... I'll add a keep reading once I'm home. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy this. Who knows, might end up making another chapter because I forgot how much I like this AU.

Song: I Found by Amber Run. I just. I'm making myself cry folks.

(Don't) Remember

-o-o-o-o-

(Don't) Break

-o-o-o-o-

Without of doubt, Zelda's favorite place in the entire realm of Hyrule is Kakariko Village. It's the only place where she can truly be herself. She steps within the boundaries and instantly, the diadem on her head is just a fashion statement. The ragtag soldiers traveling with her are just people, friends perhaps. She no longer has the task of rebuilding a government or excavating the castle or organizing towns and roads to be rebuilt.

She's just Zelda.

Just Zelda.

And it's a relief that takes the weight of a Lynel from her shoulders.

Impa is there to welcome her, even in her old age Zelda has no end to her respect for the woman. Paya always greets her with a warm hug and the various people and warriors in the village invite her for dinner or even offer her the spare bedrooms in their houses so she doesn't have to spend money at the inn—even though she has already been promised a free stay from Ollie, the innkeeper, whenever she so needed to.

This time, she decides to spend her stay with Paya while the soldiers traveling with her all get warm, soft beds at the inn, and she decides to let Koko cook dinner for her. She can honestly say that she's only had food as good as Koko's once before, but he doesn't often cook for her anymore.

Especially since he's off on some strange adventure that she has no true knowledge of.

And she can't help but feel a pang of anger and jealousy over that. Here's she's spent one hundred years holding back a demon just to immediately be thrown right back into royalty and business and chaos, while he gets to ditch the moment adventure calls for him.

And she shouldn't feel that way. But it's hard not to when he was supposed to be her best friend. He was supposed to be there with her and never leave her again. She was supposed to finally have someone to lean on, someone to trust, someone to—dare she say it—love?

But no. Link decided that he doesn't want to remember. And therefore, he doesn't want to remember her. His offer to rekindle friendship with her is honerable, but it still feels like whenever she's in his company he's a stranger. Nothing like the boy she knew.

Or maybe that's too harsh. She doesn't know. One things for sure though, this new version of him is just as familiar to her as the one who was simply her annoying Knight.

Which means not at all.

Because, while his offer to make friendship is honerable, that's all it is.

Honor.

A sense of duty.

There's not a whole lot of actual desire, and that hurts more than most anything.

However, she will not think about him now. He's off doing who knows what and she's here, sitting at a picnic table having a lovely conversation with Paya while Koko eagerly cooks something that certainly smells delicious. Cottla is there too, on occasion. She'll pop in and ask if dinner is ready yet and when answered no she'll go find something in the village to entertain herself for a little while longer.

Their father is set to join them in a little bit. Impa might even be strong enough to leave the house and join them on this fine evening. If not, Zelda will make sure to section off portions for her.

"-and then I looked up, and the cucco was right on top of the inn!" Paya exclaims, currently in the middle of a fascinating tale of hunting down ten rebellious cuccos.

Zelda laughs, bringing her hand to her mouth and resisting a snort. "How ever did you get it down?"

Paya sighs in exasperation, but a smile still graces her lips. "Well, it took a little work but-"

"Hey!" A voice squeals and both Zelda and Paya look up to see Cottla sprinting towards them with a toothy smile on her face that's about the size of a sliced of melon. "He's back! I just saw him! He's back and he brought others!"

"Who's back?" Koko asks, pausing her stirring in the cooking pot. She doesn't get an answer nor a chance to resume because Cottla grabs her sisters arms and begins to tug her away from her work. "Hey!"

"I just saw him! He just entered the village!" Cottla yells happily, dragging her sister away. Paya let's out a small laugh and stands up, looking curious and Zelda joins her after smoothing out the wrinkles in her shirt.

"He's back he's back he's baaack!"

Then, a group of men fall into sight across the village. It's a rather large group, and Zelda's curiosity only spikes as they approach ever closer.

Then, Cottla yells out happily a name she wasn't expecting.

"LINK!"

Nine heads turn towards the child, yet only one approaches her, a tunic of blue on his chest and a cloak around his shoulders, long blonde hair bulled up into braids.

Paya stops in her tracks with a squeak, instantly blushing, while Zelda stops for a very different reason. She can almost feel herself pail as a familiar face bends down to embrace the two children who practically attempted to tackle him.

"You're back!" Koko says excitingly, and Link laughs in a way he hasn't in Zelda's company in a very long time. Her heart squeezes. In anger? In jealousy? She's not sure.

Link looks up from the embrace and finally he notices her. She can tell because that's the moment the smile falls from his face and his skin loses color with a blanch.

Which does nothing for Zelda's mood. She quickly finds the squeezing in her heart is, in fact, anger.

He clears his throat and jumps to his feet, leaving Cottla to grab at his tunic as he makes a point to ignore her now. One of the strangers with him, a tall man with shaggy, dirty brown hair and gray facial markings gives him a curious look and Link gives a nervous smile.

"I'm, uh, going to get us some beds at the inn-" he says, and then he's practically sprinting away.

Zelda is almost tempted to run towards him and beat him to a pulp, but it seems the newcomers' have noticed her presence as well. The oldest of the bunch walks towards her, an apologetic look on his face. Paya eeps when he ends up right in front of them.

"We're sorry to barge in like this," he says, "but we're simply passing the night and resupplying. What direction would the shops be in?"

"Who are you?" Zelda demands, and admittedly it's a bit harsher than what she intended. Not very princess-like of her. It startles the man and he takes a step back. Paya gives Zelda a look like she's insane but Zelda is too furious to care at the moment. Link had been off, galavanting around with a strange group of men and she wants nothing more in the entire world than to know why.

For the first time in a long time, she's furious. And of course, it's over Link of all people.

"We're heroes!" Someone pipes up and Zelda looks past the apparent leader's shoulder to see a small kid in a Hyrule-blue tunic similar to the ones all the Champions' have worn, except there's the pattern of a lobster around the collar instead of a sword or Triforce.

"Heroes," Zelda says, the word tasting bland in her mouth.

"Listen lady," another says and she glares coldly at him. He's glaring right back at her, arms folded across his red garbed chest, the pink in his hair didn't match his obviously prickly personality at all. "We're just passing through, there's no need to be hostile."

Paya gasps, this time not because of her out of control hormones and nervousness, but out of sheer shock at the way Zelda has just been addressed. Zelda is quite shocked as well, no one has ever spoken to her like that before... except...

They must not know who she is, and she's happy to show them.

"You would be wise to watch your tongue," Zelda says coolly. She lifts her chin and takes a threatening step forward. He doesn't seem to regret his words, but she knows he will in just a second. "You're talking to Zelda, Princess of Hyrule. I demand to know your intentions and your identities, less you wish to anger me more?"

The red garbed one's eyes widen more than what she had thought was possible on a human being. She holds back her smirk. There it is.

"Zelda?!" One of the others squawk. A taller one who wears a scarf.

"Princess-" the eldest says, a wobble to his voice, as if he's ashamed for the man in front of her.

Good. They should all feel ashamed. She holds up her hand, silencing him, and normally she loathes the power she has over people, but Link's stupid face flashes in her mind and her seething anger only grows. "I want him to answer me. What are you doing here, and why is Link with you?"

"Has... Has Wild- Link not told you?" The red one asks, his voice noticeably softer and higher.

She narrows her eyes and is about to perhaps... she doesn't know, throw hands or something, but she's stopped when a familiar voice calls her name.

"Princess Zelda!" A harsh tone shouts and Zelda snaps her head to the side to see none other than Impa clutching to the guard rails of her home, looking like she might crumble at any moment.

Impa's health has been deteriorating, and the way her arms are shaking with effort fills Zelda with an intense fear.

"Grandmother!" Paya calls out, forgetting everything going on at the ground level of Kakariko. She rushes up the stairs but Impa ignores her.

"You know not of who you are speaking to," Impa says, her body trembling but her voice strong. Zelda can feel an intense blush work it's way to her cheeks but it fades when a sudden realization washes over her.

"You know who they are," she breathes, the red clothed boy's words slamming into her. Has Link not told you?

He hasn't told Zelda a single thing, but he's told Impa. She can tell as Impa's wrinkled face softens that it's true.

"Please," Impa says, as Paya gently supports Impa and begins to guide her back inside, "come inside, all of you, so we can talk in privacy."

No, Zelda almost wants to demand, no, explain here and now.

But then she looks around her and sees various Kakariko residents and guards looking at them with curiosity. The blush returns to her face and she swallows with the realization that all of them have seen the entire thing. Ashamed, yet forcing herself not to show it, she begins the climb up the stairs, eight strangers following slowly behind her.

-o-o-o-o-

Link. Their names are Link. All of them. From the child, to the eldest, they're all Link. Not just in name, but also in spirit.

Zelda has heard of past heroes. Past princesses. Link's and Zelda's and Ganon's. One does not grow up in the royal family of Hyrule and not know the legends. Not know the people that she might have to potentially live up to.

And that's all she can think of as she looks at each of these... heroes in front of her. Which one is it? Which one fought Calamity Ganon ten thousand years ago? Wich one had a better Zelda than what she could ever be? Which one... Which one was her Link forced to an equal with?

The one called the Hero of Time explains their situation. Explains of merging timelines and powerful, black blooded monsters popping up where they shouldn't. Recognition washes over Zelda with each passing word. Black blooded creatures, monsters stronger than what they should be, she's seen it happen a few times here and there around Hyrule, and it's only getting more frequent.

The Hero of Time continues to explain, every so often a detail is added in by the Hero of Twilight or the Hero of Warriors while all the other heroes sit and watch the exchange. Watch her.

And she wonders why it isn't the Hero of the Wild explaining this all to her. Why isn't Link here telling her this.

When the Hero of Time finishes, Zelda doesn't stick around much longer. She doesn't even look at the Hero of Legend as she leaves the room, her chest feeling like someone's stuffed metal into her cavity. She's embarrassed. Ashamed. How could she have fallen back into old securities and make such a fool of herself? She's a princess for crying out loud. She should be wise. Her hand goes to the back of her hand, where an invisible force burns. Courageous. Powerful too.

She should be smart. She should be confident. She should be a leader.

The full Triforce lives within her. She has gotten to know it well during her imprisonment.

This insecure, jumping to conclusions Zelda that she is right now shouldn't exist. She should have died with Link one hundred years ago. Zelda lost the right to feel anything other than confidence and poise the moment his last breath left his lips, the moment his body went limp in her arms.

Alas. She finds herself in front of the inn, head spinning.

This Link may not be her Link exactly, but she can't help it. She needs to see him. She needs to hear everything from him.

She needs to know why he's brushed her off. Why he's betrayed her like this.

She feels like a love sick teen, and something at the back of her head whispers that she is, but she ignores it because she's been through too much to call herself a teen either. Let alone love sick. She doesn't love him.

Not like that.

Ollie is at the front desk, smiling to himself, until she enters the room. He looks up and his smile falls, opening into a soft 'o' of surprise. She hates that look. She doesn't like that look. Can't they just welcome her like a normal human being?

"Princess!" Ollie stammers, wringing his hands in front of him. "C-can I help you?"

"Where is Link," she asks, and it's physically taxing to keep her voice steady.

Ollie rambles off the list of room numbers that Link had purchased and she thanks him as she begins to make her way to those rooms. Luckily, they're all next to each other, so she must only search one at a time.

Luckily, or perhaps unluckily, he's in the first room, placing his stuff down in a chest provided by the inn for temporary storage.

"There you are," she says, and Link nearly jumps high enough to whack his head on the low ceiling. He spins around, like he had expected a guardian to be standing behind him instead of his fr- instead of his princess.

"Zelda," he breathes, cheeks reddening and eyes comically wide. "You're not... You're not supposed to be here."

Zelda grinds her teeth. "I apologise, I forgot that you were the only one aloud to disappear at a drop of a dime and go wherever you want to."

It should feel glad with the shame that fills his face, but it just makes the aching in her chest worse. "Zelda-"

"I'd ask where you were, but your friends did that for you."

"I'm so-"

"I'd ask if they're trustworthy," she continues, "but Impa did that for you too."

Link falls silent, looking at the ground like he'd wish it would swallow him up.

"So I have one question to ask you," she says, "why didn't you tell me?"

Silence. A stretch of it. She's almost afraid he won't answer, but he takes a deep breath like the air is the most weighted thing in the world. "I didn't wish to worry you," he says.

There he goes again. Speaking like she's above him. Speaking like he hadn't meant everything to her before his one hundred years slumber. Speaking like she's his boss, and not his best friend. "Well, you did a shoddy job at that. What is your problem, Link?" She demands, stepping forward, and he won't meet her eyes. "What is it about me that you cannot stand? You told Impa, but made no mention of this to me. You simply said you were going and then you were nowhere to be found. You dumped rebuilding a kingdom onto me. You dumped everything onto me. Nothing but a single goodbye to show how little you care."

"It's not that," Link says, practically scrambling with his words. He still won't look her in the eyes. Why won't he look her in the eyes? "I promise it's not that-"

"Enlighten me, then, Wild. If that's your preferred name now."

He flinches and it breaks her heart. He flinches at it reminds her of his soft voice and touch as they sat side by side all those years ago and he told her why he preferred to be silent. He flinches and she remembers that that boy is dead.

It shouldn't be like this. It shouldn't. They should be happy. He should remember her. They should be back to what they were before, laughing at dumb jokes until their sides got stitches. They should be back to her trying to shove a frog or beetle in his mouth to test the effect. They should be back to him showing her the best places to pet a horse. They should be back to quiet, secret talks around a fire where the title of Princess and Knight didn't exist, nothing but their intertwined hands and the possibility of maybe leaning towards each other and... and the possibility of maybe something more.

Not this. Not this brick wall that she sees before her. One that he built.

He must hate her. Why else would he choose not to remember her? This is all her fault anyway.

If only she had learned her powers quicker. None of the others... no one would have had to die.

"Zelda," Link says, and she blinks, eyes suddenly a little clearer than what they had been before. She hadn't noticed tears. Of course she's crying. Just her luck, isn't it? "Zelda, I promise... it's not that... it's just..." He swallows and she doesn't dare speak. "It... It hurts. Remembering. It hurts."

"You said you wanted to be by my side, even without those memories," she says, insists, and he winces. "You said. You promised."

"I know," he says back, his voice trembling, "I know. It just hurt too much and- and I-"

"You what?"

"I remembered how I died," he whispers, voice horrifyingly soft.

Fear enters her bloodstream. His voice, the way he said that, makes her think that he didn't remember how he died before he left. This was recent.

He isn't supposed to know how he died. Not until he remembers everything else.

He wasn't supposed to know, and she blinks more liquid from her eyes and she realizes that he's doing the same.

"Why didn't you tell me?" She asks. "Why did you run away, and leave me with a bunch of strangers who insist you're one of them? I would have listened. I would have-"

"I couldn't... It was so fresh and I'm still reeling and I- you're so brave, and so wise, and so... so everything that I just... I couldn't face you."

Silence. Then she breathes, but if feels like she's shattering.

"You couldn't face me?" Her chest hurts. Her head is light. She almost stumbles back to seek support from a wall or something else behind her that are more reliable than her legs. "You don't have to face me, Link. You never have to face me. I'm not Calamity Ganon."

Her voice sounds broken, even to her, and he suddenly looks close to panicking.

Finally, he's looking at her in the eyes, but it's for all the wrong reasons.

"No, no that's not what I meant," he takes a step towards her, voice sounding almost desperate, but she shakes her head, turning away. "Zelda! Zelda please-"

"Good luck on your adventures, Wild. I hope you find yourself."

She shuts the door behind her, and she can just barely hear him slam a fist onto the closed door with an agonized cry as she quickly retreats, wiping under her eyes and feeling the complete opposite of wise.

What are they doing? They've worked so hard just to fall like this? She realizes that he still has never told her the exact reasons of why he trusted Impa more than her, but right now it doesn't matter.

It's the words in-between the lines that speak loudest, isn't it?

She makes her way up the stairs into Impa's house and walks as quickly as she can past the eight faces belonging to people who must be disgusted with her. She walks to the guest room Paya normally has dusted and waiting for her arrival, shuts the door behind her, and leans back against it.

Her legs finally give out and she sinks to the ground, trying to blink the blurriness away, but it comes as quickly as it goes now.

Oh Link, where has she gone wrong?

[mrneighbourlove]

Evil’s Bane: Ch 4. Dangerous Uncharted Territory

Once the portal was open, Black went through first to scout for any potential danger. After a few minutes, he gave the go ahead to come through. Oddly enough, the land was striking. It was full of life, unlike the opposite side of the mountains. There were trees and grass as far as the eye could see instead of a harsh and unforgiving desert or wasteland.

Hades was the next to go in, trotting about and keeping an eye out for danger. Finally, Leere walked in. The sun was bright, and the sky was blue. The air was more breathable than Omisha as well. She guessed they were still closer to the border than central Malus, because if she looked far enough, she could see mountains in the distance. The area they were in had many hills, with fields of grass and vibrant flowers around them. Taking a breath, she looked to Bonegrinder, honestly confused, but a little relieved. Finally, she settled on a little sarcasm. “Land of torment and lifeless death, eh?”

"Don't you start, you haven't seen the inner city." Bonegrinder poked her nose with his finger. "This old snake has a long time ago."

"The land has recovered in these areas, though I am skeptical of the areas closer to civilization." Black looked around, taking in his surroundings. He was adept at tracking and studying the lay of the earth since his job was to be as sneaky as possible. "It has remained untouched for quite some time."

“Well, let’s look around. Can’t find what we are looking for if we don’t start walking.”

"Don't wander off, stay close." Bonegrinder repeated to Leere. "You never know what could be watching. Or who could be watching."

Hades was on the lookout, when he suddenly heard a snap of the grass about 50ft away. In the distance, an insect creature ran out of the tall grass. Suddenly, a reptilian creature, a beast akin to a raptor, jumped on top of it. It tore the insect apart, using claws to tear off its shell, talons on its feet to hold it in place, and sharp teeth to tear into its flesh. As it was eating, it picked up on a sound Hades made repositioning himself. It appeared to have no eyes or nose, simply having two holes in the side of its head.

Leere was cautious, yet fascinated by the pale reptile. Still, she dared not move.

"Oh fucking hell, I forgot about those." Black whispered under his breath to the others. "Don't move. They hunt based off movement through the earth."

The Reptilmox looked around, focusing on the movement of Black speaking. When Black stopped talking, it slowly started to lose interest. Why put energy in finding more prey when it made a kill? Grabbing its meal, it dragged it back into the tall grass to devour.

Hades waited a little while, before feeling confident it was far enough away. “Everyone keep walking.”

"Watch your step." Black told the group as they slowly made their way through the tall grass.

"And your back." "If one of those saunters out again, we will do our best to avoid fighting it." Bonegrinder informed the others. "Draw less attention. However, if it detects you and comes at you... run."

As they walked through the tall grass, they found the first sign of civilization. It was a pointed road sign that read, “Go back to Heilogtum.”

Leere looked around their surroundings. The area still had beautiful grass lands, but was now mixing opening up into a valley pass.

"Now that... was put here recently. Look, the wood hasn't rotted a bit." Black looked at the sign. "It's obviously a warning... but for what?"

Hades looked around, and was the first to see the danger. A pack of the pale reptiles, all the size of him, were running around the valley corner. “Incoming! Hold your ground!”

Trouble was heading their way. If the group had to flee, Bonegrinder was not too worried about Hades. The Lynel was fast. Black could run for ages, yet, he could not surpass the speed of one of those damn reptiles. Leere was only human and there was no chance if the reptiles were too close. With a slight indication of his head, Bonegrinder motioned for Black to get on his coils. So the assassin grabbed Leere and held tight to the Anagari.

Leere was ready to fight if needed be, but being grabbed would be make it harder for her to help.

Splitting into pairs, the reptiles circled Bonegrinder and Hades respectively. Hades already started to run in the direction the sign pointed. As one of the reptiles jumped at him, he reared back, kicking it with the force of ten horses in the head. The creature was more disoriented then anything, fumbling about.

The pair chasing Bonegrinder made a jump at him, wanting to claw him and tiny figures apart.

Bonegrinder was trying to keep his magic use to a minimum. If the demons of Malus were anything like those he faced in the past, the fiends would sense it and try to find him. Though, just because he could use magic, didn't mean he could not use brute strength. He whacked one reptile in the head with his massive tail and coiled his body around the other's neck, snapping it.

The Reptilmox left fighting Bonegrinder hissed viscously. Opening its mouth, a thick tongue shot out to try and snare Black of Bonegrinder from a distance.

Black reacted rather swiftly, reaching into his belt and pulling out his blade. He sliced off the tongue and pushed Leere down to avoid the appendage.

Able to at least cast magic, Leere pointed a hand out, and a necrotic ball of shadow energy shot out. Hitting the creature, it screamed, the flesh on its face boiling off.

As two more were about to engage, there was a loud rumbling in the east. With a bark between them, they ran off, ignoring the prospect of food, fear taking its place.

Bonegrinder only uttered three words.

"Don't let go."

With that, he took off as fast as he could slither, Hades following behind him.

Leere did as she was told. She couldn’t see it, but she could hear the rumbling and feel the earth shake. In a mountainside, there was a cave with a sign pointing towards it. In the cave, a thick fog filled all its walls and area. When Hades approached it, he was the only one to feel a terrible effect on his body. He noticed one of the monsters veer away from the cave as well. It most likely would bring physical harm to monster kind. “Bonegrinder. You must flee here without me.”

"What?!" Bonegrinder was almost inside the cave when Hades' statement caught him off guard. He gestured for Black to stay with Leere while he slithered back to Hades. "This is the only place we have to hide right now. He cannot in good conscience leave you here alone!"

“I-I can’t explain it. I can’t enter.”

"Then he will stay with you to fight while Black guards Leere."

“No we-!!!”

“Oh dear god.” Leere muttered breathlessly.

Coming into view was a massive colossus. A construct of stone, earth, energy and a thick reek of flesh for a body. Turning a skull face with skin dangling from its mouth, it laid eyes on the group. Colossi Mata had the form of a massive tiger with the head of a dragon and the horns of a bull. Raising a hand slowly, it came down on an unfortunate Reptilmox, crushing it with the scale of an ant. Slowly, it turned its attention to the group. Despite looking like something that crawled out of hell, the Colossi was of balance and pure neutrality; it killed any creature it saw, be it monster, animal, human or demon so it might not escape Malus. Hades knew this was a flight situation, not fight. “No! Go through the cave! Now!” Without another word he started to run off. “I will find you later!”

"Kit, get back here!!!" Bonegrinder used the nickname he gave to the Lynel years ago, imploring him to move into the cave for safety. He tried to lunge at Hades, but the Lynel was too quick. He was off into the tall grass and the Anagari was forced to retreat into the cave.

The massive colossi turned its attention away from the group and onto the Lynel. The last Bonegrinder saw was a gigantic beam of light shoot from its horns and engulf all sight between the snake and Hades as it tried to eradicate the monster.

Leere held Bonegrinder’s hand as they ventured through the deep fog. She could feel the anguish almost radiate off Bonegrinder. “I’m sorry about your friend.”

"... he should be fine. He's been in worse situations than this." Bonegrinder tried to stay positive.

"It's funny to think that this old snake has known Hades since he was a small kitten."

"An angry cat, you mean." Black snorted.

“If you say he’ll be alright, I believe you.” Leere had no idea how deep they’d have to walk through this fog. Best they keep going with hopes high.

~

The heart of Malus was pumping hard as the Cults of Inferos double checked all their modifications on the Great Tower. For years now, a breakthrough was made that could harness untold cosmic and necrotic energies. If the tower could be modified, it could be used as a conductor for something truly horrific. The residents of Inferos were either horrified beyond belief of what was soon to come, or they ultimately resided to the future.

One man was checking symbols on an obelisk put in place, when a figure floated behind him.

“Are we certain preparations are working?”

The architect lowered his book, looking over his shoulder to look into the eyes of a being of shadow. The form flickered like static, glowing intense eyes not shy of radiating a deep sense of dread and evil. Even the most devoted cultists didn’t like to stare too long into those eyes. Looking back at the beacon, the architect answered. “All the Obelisks are set, and the engraving are set to the runes that have been instructed all down the tower.”

The architect then rubbed his brow, looking up at a sizzling worm hole not too far above his head. Ever since the Gods showed up, they gave gifts of sealed away knowledge. Most didn’t complain at first when they opened a gateway to a dimension of pure energy to siphon from, but then came all the undead that couldn’t be outright controlled… and all the visions that brought paranoia, madness, and anger to those who were ‘weak minded’. “I must ask, but why do we wait to use the tower? Is the energy source above us not enough?”

The shadow leaned closer, whispering from rotten lips into the Mortuus’ ears. “We need a summon forth an organism that would be powerful enough to be a connection between the dimension and the tower. And one that my master can trust.”

“Where is this organism?”

“Sealed away in the flesh and soul of a Mortuus woman.”

The architect once again wiped his brow, feeling sweat drip down his cheek. “Wait. That Mortuus?”

“Yes.”

“But she does not reside in Malus, let alone Inferos.”

“That is why your God has taken the time to bring about her long-awaited return to this monument to sin. Here, her purpose will at last be achieved.” The shadow growled happily into the man’s ear as a new sinister and deeper tone left its lips. “I have awaited a long, long time for this.”

________________________________________________________________

Previous Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/625816338129207296/evils-bane-ch-3-onward-and-forward

Next Ch. https://mrneighbourlove.tumblr.com/post/626093697379008512/evils-bane-ch-5-belief-scattered

[jadeender]

Becoming Savage

“We need to move as much as possible it's not safe to sleep out in the open.” Hyrule said leading the pack. “Unfortunate things happen here at night.”

Twilight walked on near the front of their group, his senses tuned as far out as he could, he wouldn’t let them be mobbed again. This was his job, his pack and he was going to protect them.

After what happened with Legend everyone was introspective it seemed, the talk having once again dried up. Not that Twilight particularly cared he was used to silence and more so since his fight with Savage. Twilight could still see the vision of the other wolf laying at his paws bleeding out.

Normally he would have been ashamed to have fought like that, to maul someone else to death, but he could say the situation made him all the more….. savage. Internally laughing at his own pun Twilight turned his attention back to their surroundings, considering shifting into wolf form to further enhance his senses. From what Hyrule had said they shouldn’t be taking any chances.

Twilight's eyes wandered to Time as he thought, his mentor looked better than he had all morning. But the man was in his element, Time was a fighter and damn good one though he tried to deny it.

“Eternal’s better.” Savage spoke from within his mind.

Twilight didn't rise to the bait but instead replied smoothly, “Time still won his fight. Like I did.”

Savage snarled. “For now mutt.”

Twi pulled out Savages mirror or as he had come to think of it, his own. Before their fight the back had portrayed a wolf in side profile one eye glaring out, but now it showed the a wolf laying with a snarl a symbol of goat like horns above it, the horns being the same that adorned his Ordon Shield.

Flipping the mirror to the reflective side Twilight looked at his reflection as it morphed into that of his dark, the darks golden eyes now unmasked starred into Twilight’s with hatred. A collar was around his neck obscured slightly by his dark wolf pelt.

“If you really think this is the worst thing I ever been held in then you’re sorely mistaken.” Savage said the mouth of his reflection moving in sync with his words.

Twilight looked up from the mirror once again checking his surroundings. “If you could break free you would have already.”

Savage remained silent but starred at Twilight defiantly unable to look away due to the confines of the mirror. Twilight broke eye contact and packed the mirror away in his bag.

The party continued on through the late evening. This Hyrule was abundant in monsters, they had stopped to fight battles at least ten separate times. They fought more Moblins, Goriya, Keese, and Lynels. By the time the sun had completely set their entire party was exhausted. They’d used so much energy, weaponry, and magic that they were down to their last reserves.

They made camp against a mountain side and set up a guard rotation with two guards instead of the usual one just in case. Twilight volunteered to take the first shift along with Time whom they all knew would be up all night. The others passed out quickly having eaten only apples for dinner as sleep became more important than food.

Twilight and Time took an uneventful first watch having to fight off a lone pair of Stalfos but otherwise they remained safe. Near the end of their four hour watch Time walked up to Twilight who had recently returned from scouting just outside of sight.

Twilight knew something was wrong when he saw Time’s scared eye open from the distance, and when he saw that eye was red his fear grew. Savages fear was noticeable in Twilight mind and only served to augment his own, attempting to calm down Twilight faced the man who was using his mentor.

“Come on mutt.” Eternal spoke as he walked past Twilight and kept moving away from camp. Deciding listen was the best option Twilight followed the man.

“You need to give me control now if you value your life.” Savage practically screamed.

“I can handle this, Time wont let him hurt me.” Twilight replied inside his head.

Savage laughed snidely. “Time can’t help you when Eternal is drowning you in his water. Dammit let me out.”  Savage pulled against the bond between their minds and tried to jerk control but Twilight stood fast.

“Ill handle this.” Twilight affirmed, he thought for a second. “Make my eyes red.”

“Why would I do that for you?” Savage sneered. “And how do you even know I can.”

“To make him think I’m you.” Twilight replied ignoring the second question.

“Are you planning on getting us killed?” The dark growled. “Because it seems like you are.”

“Just do it.” Eternal had stopped walking and was waiting. As Twilight stopped by Eternal he felt a shift he dearly hoped where his eyes changing color.

“Stop here mutt.” Eternal said looking back at camp before continuing. “It seems I’m the only one who remembered what we’re supposed to be doing. Oh well you want something done right you gotta do it yourself.”

Twilight stood still and waited for Eternal to continue speaking trying his best to guess what his dark must act like.

“The bottom line is, we are never making it to this witch.” Eternal said his cold red eyes glinting as he seemed excited about the prospect of being joined with his light forever. “I almost have full control of this body and I expect you take control of yours.”

Eternal starred Twilight down, the kind of glare that makes you stop in fear and squirm under it. “Or dont. I’ll just kill this lights pathetic body and wait for you to reform. You wouldn’t dare run away from me. You know the consequences for that, for yourself and for him.”

Twilight gulped keeping quiet. Savages voice was quiet as well the dark holding back for the palpable fear he held for Eternal.

“Well say something you weak excuse for an Erembour.” Eternal said his voice growing angrier.

“Y..yes Master.” Twilight squeaked slightly hoping to pass his hesitance off as lack of control. Eternal just waved him off.

“Be prepared, I’ll let you know when its time. You won’t disappoint me.” There was a finality to Eternal’s words as he moved past Twilight and headed back towards the camp as he walked past Eternal’s left eye turned blue once again and his still red scarred right eye closed.

Breathing out Twilight relaxed slightly and watched the body of his retreating mentor. Obviously the relationship Savage and Eternal had was not that of a student and teacher but that of a master and slave.

“What did he mean wait for you to reform?” Twilight asked the dark feeling the magic that masked his eyes dissipating.

“I’m not going to tell a light our secrets, I wasn’t raised by a fool.” Savage commented. Twilight once again pulled out the mirror so he could look at Savage face to face, or face to mirror as it were.

“No you weren’t.” Twilight commented looking at the dark, though he maintained the same bluster Savage was deflated his body language defeated. “I’m not going to let Eternal win you know.”

“You wouldn’t be the first to try and defy him, and most of that short list are dead. If you intend to keep up this charade of being me you need to learn how to drop the quivering voice, Eternal doesn’t take well to weakness, But neither do you, after all with what happened between us you’re the savage one.” Savage finished making a jab at his dark, he may have been somewhat co-operative but that just reminded Twilight he is dark and always would be.

Twilight packed his mirror away and made his way back towards camp to wake his replacement.

[toastscraps]

The Pink One

Or, “How Link Ended Up in Mario Kart 8″

Written for the Discord Prompt (I don’t even know how to describe it). Since I’m mostly illiterate in meme language, you get this awful thing.

3k+

This is probably the closest thing to pure, unadulterated crack you are ever going to see from me.

Warnings: Irreverent silliness, poor writing; author is bad at humor

Disclaimer: Nintendo owns all Legend of Zelda titles as well as Mario Kart. @jojo56830 created personalities for the Links, and I’m basing this off of the wonderful @linkeduniverse. 

Summary: Wild wants the pink one.

               It was sudden and it was abrupt, like switching Hyrules usually was. They landed in the middle of a road paved with a substance so flat and shiny that Four could nearly see his face in it. From beside him, Hyrule wrinkled his nose. “Smells like tar.” Strange grey marks marred its surface and bright, green grass grew along the sides of the path. Warriors looked just as bewildered as Four felt, and Wind looked around in wonder.

               “Is this Hyrule?”

               Suddenly the rumbling roars of monsters came behind them. Four turned with the others, but it was too late.

               “Get out of the road, you morons! Do you want to become pancakes?” A rude kid with green… tentacles for hair zoomed past, Time barely dodging out of the way of the raging vehicle. Then there were more people on strange mechanical wagons, approaching them faster than a raging Lynel.

               “These obstacles are getting lamer and lamer,” a baby-voiced talking turtle with spikes on its back complained, launching a green missile toward the group. Warriors yelped and leapt out of the way of the… shell, and Twilight narrowly missed becoming minced meat.

               “Idiots! What are you doing on the track?” A flash of pink was all they saw before that, too, was gone. Legend had barely avoided a collision, and yelled after his near-killer:

               “You woman drivers need to stay off the road!”

               “Legend! That wasn’t very nice,” Sky reprimanded. For some reason, he had yet to be targeted by the strange people in the metal machines.

               “….I actually have no clue what a driver is, or why I said that,” Legend admitted. “It just came to me.” Four yelped as more mechanical beasts roared toward them, and quickly rolled out of their path. Wild dodged a couple of machines, while Twilight tried to stop one with his bare hands. He only partially succeeded.

               To Four’s bewilderment, it looked like a stroller. A tiny human with only a diaper and a red cap on flew out of the contraption and into the air. ���I got it!” Hyrule yelled. He ran under the screaming projectile and dove to catch what appeared to be a baby. Quickly, the entire group ran to see if the child was okay. To their astonishment, the infant turned to Twilight with an angry expression on his face.

               “What is your problem, man? What, you feel like a big boy stopping a teeny weeny kart? Does it make you feel like a hulk? Well guess what, tough guy? Because of you, I won’t finish the race! You snot– eating cruddy head! Why, I oughtta remove your hands and skewer them on you- ”

               The Links were spared a description of exactly what the crass-talking child ought to do when a tired looking… turtle with glasses on a smiling cloud came down with a fishing pole and hooked the baby by the diaper.

               “Laikitu! Put me down! I need to fix this guy for messing with me!”

               “That’ll be three coins, Baby Mario.”

               “Don’t call me that, Four-Eyes!” the infant screamed, but procured three golden disks out of… nowhere.

               “You know you’re supposed to be wearing a seatbelt, right?”

               “It gives me diaper rash,” Baby Mario growled. “You know that.”

               Legend leaned over to Four and whispered, “I’ve seen some bizarre things, but this takes the cake.”

               “You think there was something funny in Wild’s stew last night?” Four was beginning to think that either this was a crazy dream, or they were all under some mass hallucination. Either one.

               The child was lifted back into the buggy and immediately drove toward them again. “I will have my revenge!” he screamed, his voice disappearing around the bend.

               Time walked over and placed a hand on a gob-smacked Twilight’s head. “I don’t think we’re in Hyrule anymore, Toto.”

               “…What did you just call me!??”

               Inexplicably the world around them began to fade and Four had a sudden sensation of relief. Yes, please. Let them get back home. Back to any kind of normalcy; please, Hylia.

               His prayers went unanswered as their surroundings reformed into a large room with a long line of machines on pedestals at rest against the walls. Strange people milled about the area, some haggling with the gold disks called “coins,” while others were seated in machines, wiggling about as if getting accustomed to sitting in their… saddles?

               A mustached human in green walked over to them. “Hello, Imma Luigi. You must-a be new unlocked characters! Welcome to-a Mario Kart!”

               “I’m uh… excuse me?” Time asked, a bit frazzled. Four couldn’t blame him. He had no idea what the guy was saying, either.

               Luigi continued, “And-a which-a one of you issa gonna race today? You must all be versions of-a one another.”

               “How did you know?” Warriors asked, suspicious. Just then, an infant like the one they’d met before but dressed in green was dragged past, bawling and hanging onto an exasperated princess’s dress.

               “Please let me borrow some coins, Daisy! I’m begging you!”

               “No! I’m not contributing to your gambling addiction!”

               “Just a little, to pay off some debts! I’ll pay ya back later!”

               “That’s probably what you said to the last guy!”

               The two voices faded as their owners exited the building.

               “…….It-a wassa lucky guess.”

               A human-sized undead… turtle?... walked over to them, its bones rattling with every step. “Ah! New racers! You look awake and rarin’ to go! Have your jelly orbs on any of these carts? This is the selection you’re allowed for your character! Follow me!”

               “I’mma gonna hand you off-a to de Dry Bones! Good-a Luck!” Luigi walked off to another area of the room, and the Links reluctantly followed.

               “Alright boys, this is the selection allowed for your character to drive. Choose your driver!”

               “Oooh! Oooh!”

               “Yes, Wind?” Time asked patiently.

               “I think I know how! These are just like trains, but there’s no tracks! I think I can do it!”

               “Wind, it sounds like fun, it really does, but we need to get back home. I’m sorry mister… Bones, but we don’t have time for a race.”

               “Of course you do! Everyone has time for a race! Besides, if you don’t race, you don’t leave.”

               “…Ooookay, then. I guess you can try then, Wind.”

               The kid pumped his fist. “Yesssss!”                                

               Dry Bones turned to Four. “You didn’t want to race, young man?”

               Four snorted. “You couldn’t pay me enough coins to get into one of those things.”

               Dry Bones shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

               Wind got into a silver looking mechanical beast. His face was wrinkled in concentration as the machine roared to life. “I got it started, guys!” he said excitedly. “Now, I think I pull this lever…” The silver cart suddenly jumped off its pedestal and sped across the room. There were screams as people jumped out of the way. A group of little people with spotted hats stood admiring a smaller beast. “Watch out!” Wind screamed, and they barely jumped out of the way before his machine met the other in a spectacular display of light and sound. Wind flew out and landed on his back, groaning. He gingerly picked himself up off the ground and brushed off his clothes. “I’m good, guys!”

               The little people in spotted hats recovered quickly and began screaming at him in a gibberish language Four didn’t understand. Suddenly they were flourishing scimitars. Wind let out a yelp and moved quickly to run from their flailing blades as they chased him.

               “Well, he obviously can’t drive. Who’s next?” Dry Bones asked. “By the way, that will cost you thirty coins to repair.”

               “We don’t have any of these… ‘coins’,” Sky answered.

               “…Well, I suppose you can earn them in the next race. Alright, who wants to try now?”

               They all looked at one another, reluctant to volunteer.

               “I can drive,” Wild said.

               “You sure about that, Wild?” Time asked, putting a large hand on his shoulder.

               “Yes.” Four couldn’t help but admire the determination that came across his face.

               “This is your selection,” the talking skeleton rattled, “Choose wisely!”

               “Oh, Wild! How about this one?” Twilight asked, rolling out a two-wheeled machine that was plated with bronze armor and shaped like a small dragon. “This one looks coo- I mean, this looks like the best choice here.”

               “No, I want something else.” Four followed his gaze to where a woman in a pink dress was sitting on one of the beasts. He felt annoyance flare in him at once. Now was not the time to be looking at girls, Wild! But Wild didn’t heed his unspoken pleas and began to set off at once for the other stand just a few paces from their own.

               “I want that one,” he said, pointing to a pink vehicle that appeared to be made out of pipes.

               “That one?” Dry Bones sputtered. “You can’t have that one, that’s Peach’s!”

               “I want that one,” Wild insisted again as the girl took off on her two-wheeler to the other side of the building, where she began to show it off to another lady.

               “You- you can’t! Look, you have one just like it, see?” Indeed, there was one just like the girl’s, but green.

               But Wild refused. “No, I want the pink one,” he insisted.

               At that moment a rotund mustached man approached their group, his face twisted in fury. Twilight backed up, thinking he was coming at him, but instead he walked past the shaggy Link and up to Legend.

               “You have-a some-a nerve coming here, you shameless plagiarizer!”

               “I – uh, what?”

               “You-a heard me! You poor imitation of a hero!”

               “What!??”

               “It-a was-a bad enough that you-a stole the Chain-a Chomps, but did-a you-a really have-a to rename them-a Bow-a Wows? And-a my-a poor-a Goombas! You ripped them straight-a off-a my-a game! And Pokeys too! Have you no-a shame????”

               “I have no idea what you’re talking about, man.”

               “Mmmmmm!” Four watched the man’s visage turn as red as his cap. “Now what-a are you-a doing here? You gonna steal the Toads-a next?” A gloved hand gestured to where the little people with polka-dotted hats were carrying a tied-up Wind over their heads.

               “Guys, help me!”

               “I seriously have no idea what you’re talking about.”

               “Toadette-a! Come-a here! This-a is-a the guy-a I was-a telling you about!”

               “This is the guy?” A girl with a pink and white-spotted hat with dangles came toward them. She put on her glasses and examined him closely. “Hmmm; you’re right, he does look like a rat.”

               “Hey!”

               “Look, I know you want the pink one, but that simply isn’t one of your choices.”

               “Guys, I think they want to eat me!”

               “Toadette; read-a this-a rascal all the complaints!”

               “You got it, boss,” she said, pulling a long scroll of paper out of nowhere that bounced when it hit the floor and continued rolling.

               “Come on, this green one runs exactly the same!”

               “Guys! They look hungry!”

               Four put his hands on his ears. This was worse than having people in his head!

               “This day, June 14, the year of Nintendo 129, Mario is filing a lawsuit against you – Link – for plagiarizing his ideas and claiming them as your own. The list is as follows:”

               “Look, you can’t have this pink kart, okay? How about I slap a Triforce symbol on the green one and we call it good?”

               “I know I should probably help him, but my hair is in perfect order today. I really don’t want to mess it up.”

               “Eh, he can handle himself. He’s a big boy. I was six when I started bartering.”

               “Guyyyyssss!!!!!”

               “Oh, wait, were you talking about Wind?”

               “C’mon, Wild, do you really need the pink one?” Time asked. “We’re kind of in a hurry.”

               “… Piranha Plants, Cheep-Cheeps, ‘Bloobers’…”

               “Just choose one of your own!” Dry Bones begged.

               Wild shook his head and stubbornly pointed to the vehicle he still wanted. “I am the hero of the Wild, friend of Princess Zelda herself. How many rupees will it take for me to have that car?”

               “… Boo Buddies, Hardhat Beetles, ‘Mask Mimics’…”

               “…You have RUBIES!??”

               “…You sure Wind needs help? It looks like they’re playing Vigilantes and Bandits.”

               “They’re tying him up to a stake, Hyrule!”

               “Then they’re playing Pilgrims and Witches.”

               “They have a real torch! It’s on fire!”

               Sigh. “There’s one thing you should learn about life, Sky. Kids will be kids.”

               “How many rupees will you take so I can have the pink one?”

               “How many do you have?”

               “…Spiked Beetle, and Tarin, who is a direct rip-off of Mr. Mario.”

               “…Dude, I never met you before in my life.”

               “It’s a deal!” Dry Bones exclaimed, laughing wildly and stuffing as many rupees as possible into his ribcage. Wild gave a triumphant smirk as he got into the saddle of the mechanical beast.

               Four sighed.

                  It was a beautiful day. The sun was beaming down on them, the birds were singing and the sky was blue. Wild had complained when he’d found himself at the back of the group, other racers lined up far ahead of him. The tired-looking floating turtle that they’d met earlier explained that he would get a better position depending on how well he did in the race. Wild begrudgingly complied.

               “Hey, where’s Wind?” Warriors asked suddenly.

               “Probably palling around with his new friends,” Hyrule dismissed.

               Warriors opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off as a loud blare tore the air. Wild hunkered down in his cart, ready to go. The sound of engines ripped through the quiet and birds scattered.

               When the light turned green, some vehicles stalled and others took off. Wild was one of the former. “Go, Wild, go!” Twilight cheered from beside Four, jumping up and down. They all gasped as Wild’s metal beast rolled forward and the platform moved with it. Four gripped the rail tightly, not wishing to fall.

               “Come on Wild, you can do it!” Sky screamed excitedly. Determination was evident in every muscle of Wild’s body, his form leaning into the turns. He actually got ahead of about two thirds of the racers. But then he got hit with a green shell. And then a red one. And then, inexplicably, a blue one.

               “He’s not even in first!” Time shrieked. Racers began to pass their companion, the baby-voiced spiked turtle sticking his tongue out at him as he purposely swerved into the pink monstrosity.

               “Hey, watch it!” Legend called in support of his friend. Wild swerved a little, but remained on-course. It was all for naught, though. Soon he was in last.

               “C’mon, Wild! You can do it!” Warriors cheered. “We believe in you!”

               He leaned over to Legend and muttered, “Bet ya fifty rupees he ends up in last.”

               “No bet.”

               “Go Wild,” Four raised his voice to cheer his friend on. He was slightly annoyed the others had such little faith in their companion.

               Wild rode the pink beast straight into a banana and spun out. Four winced. Alright, maybe their lack of support was well-founded.

               They could see, even from their position on the platform that Wild was frustrated. He was swerving all over the place, trying to get his kart under control after its contact with the peel. “You’re doing fine, Wild, just calm down!” Time called out. Four could faintly hear a “Don’t tell me what to do,” drift up to them before Wild turned a corner and came into contact with a glowing box. Suddenly something round and golden appeared in his hand.

               “Can you tell what he has?” Four asked Twilight, hoping his advanced sight could catch what it was.

               “It looks like a shining, golden mushroom.” Sky squinted. “With a face on it.”

               “How can you see that far?” Twilight seemed awed. Sky shrugged.

               “What does it do?” Four asked.

               “It gives him speed boosts,” Time answered, and the others turned to look at him incredulously. He shrugged. “I read the manual.”

               Wild reared his arm back as if to throw the ‘Shroom and let out a battle cry, but instead of flying out of his hand like Four expected, it stuck to it and caused the pink wagon to jump forward in a burst of speed. Wild must not have noticed the change in velocity, or else was more concerned about the thing attached to his palm, because he began panicking, waving his limb around frantically. Four couldn’t help the scream that left his mouth when they lurched, hands gripping tightly onto the railing as he held on for dear life. He barely caught sight of Wild heading toward a sharp bend in the road, and beyond that a long drop.

               “Wild, watch out!” Hyrule screamed, but it was too late. In a flash of bright pink and gold, the kart shot off the edge of the cliff. The floating fishing turtle lurched toward the speeding Hylian, but he was too fast even for the cloud. Time seemed to slow as the machine arched through the air, the sun glinting off of the smooth metal as it flew toward the track below. The pack of racers approached its impending termination, oblivious to the doom lurking above.

               Four held his breath as the vehicle hung suspended on nothing, like a proud eagle resting its wings on the wind. The illusion was shattered when, in an instant, the pink monstrosity dropped, careening toward the road below. Their platform dove after him, and they had a front-row seat to a glorious explosion of fire and twisted metal. Racers slammed into the debris, causing an enormous pile up and even more spectacular outbreaks of explosions and shrapnel all over the roadway.

               The exhausted Laikitu hovered awkwardly above the wreckage, muttered something about needing a vacation, and promptly left. Racers began to pile out of their vehicles, spewing obscenities, a few even crying over their destroyed machines. Wild stumbled out of his own ride and upon seeing his friends held up a thumb and a proud smile. “I’m good!” he called. Then their air raft disappeared and Four grunted as he landed on his behind.

               “Guys, guys! I got first!” Wild shouted happily.

               “I don’t think that’s how that works,” Time cautioned.

               Sky put a hand on their leader’s shoulder, shaking his head. “Don’t ruin his dreams, Time.”

               Suddenly the angry man in red got out of his position just behind what was left of Wild’s vehicle. His mustache twitched and Four could swear he saw steam coming out of his ears. Instead of confronting Wild, as he’d expected, he approached Legend. “You! You-a and-a your-a people are-a not allowed-a here-a anymore-a!”

               “My people!?? I hardly know these guys!”

               “Legend!” Warriors placed a betrayed hand over his heart.

               “Get-a out!” the man screamed, his face getting redder and redder by the minute. “Get-a out get out get out!”

               Suddenly there was a flash of white, and they were once again back in someone’s Hyrule. Four could cry from relief. Finally. Finally things were back to normal.

               “Hey guys!” a young voice called to them cheerfully. Four turned to find their almost-fourteen-year-old walking toward them, mostly unscathed but for an eyepatch covering one side of his face, with one of those strange-looking hats on his head. “Look what the Toads gave me!”

               “They took away your eye!” Warriors wailed, moving toward the other.

               “No, silly.” Wind lifted up the piece to show a cerulean glint. “This is just something cool I found. But look at this neat hat! And they gave me one of their cutlasses! At least, I think it's a cutlass. They made me an honorary Toad after I saved their leader from a toothy, crunchy death!”

               Four didn’t even want to know.

               Just then the mailman arrived. “This is a letter for Link,” he looked down at the envelope again and read, “’The pantless rat man with the pink hair.’”

               Legend rolled his eyes and held out his hand. “That’s me,” he conceded.

               The mailman handed him the letter and Legend frowned. “I think it’s from that angry red man.”

               He opened the note and began to read as Wind excitedly told the others about his adventure with the Toads.

               “I’ve been summoned to court in Mushroom Kingdom’s Castle and… what in Nayru’s name is a plaintiff?”

               Meanwhile, Wild had thrown his arms around Twilight and was sobbing as his elder awkwardly patted him on the back.

               “I really wanted the pink one!” he choked.

               “I know, I know.”

               Four sighed.

[machetelanding]

You’re making your way through the gaming world of your choice, and suddenly hear an overenthusiastic war cry. Turning around, there’s a handful of those generic enemies sprinting towards you with some obviously lethal intentions: they could be bandits, soldiers, roving post-apocalyptic fiends, or just some hostile bipedal humanoids – but chances are that no matter the game, they’re a mixture of both men and women. It wasn’t so long ago that these generic, nameless baddies were simply men, yet this switch to include women among their ranks is one of the most important patterns in gaming. Because – in a revelation that won’t shock any of you, I’m sure – some girls can be evil too.

However perverted this might sound, being able to fight off bloodthirsty women as well as men makes me so god damn happy. Whether these nameless, cookie-cutter foes are being used as meatbag distractions during a boss fight or are the kind that roam across an open world and are all too happy to open fire on you, having a mixture of men and women in their ranks is one step closer to equality between the sexes in video games, and helps to get rid of the damaging notion that women aren’t aggressors. Let me explain why.

Mixed-sex cannon-fodder

It might just sound like an aesthetic choice, a small tweak that you don’t really notice when you’re gaming. But having both men and women attack you slowly but surely erodes the idea that men are the default setting for generic enemies: that they’re nameless cannon fodder, disposable and meant to be killed without a second thought. However, great as it is to have major female NPCs, treating men and women the same when it comes to the lowest level of nameless-NPCs is just as important. This is far from a new trend, though: Skyrim has mixed-sex guards and bandits, Far Cry 5 has cultists and Highwaymen of both genders, the soldiers patrolling Assassin’s Creed Odyssey’s forts and cities are both male and female, and other games like Dishonored 2, all the Bioshock games, and Left 4 Dead have the same gender balance. Most recently Borderlands 3 joined the party by giving us female psychos (at last).

Whichever way you look at it, it’s good to prove that like men, women can be dicks and join causes that belong to the baddies, as well as leading those hordes of evil ne’er-do-wells. Pretending otherwise is just putting women on a pedestal, implying that we’re without fault and couldn’t possibly contemplate hurting another living being. But even though most games already include lethal ladies, part of what is holding some titles back (and could have occurred to you too) might be that faint and outdated idea that you shouldn’t hit a girl, no matter what. And you shouldn’t, as a rule, but – and I hope this is so obvious that I don’t have to point it out – nor should you hit boys. But there is one big exception: if they seem thirsty for your blood, gender doesn’t really matter when it comes down to making sure your vital organs actually stay inside your body. It’s like that scene in 22 Jump Street, where Schmidt doesn’t want to hit Mercedes, or Colossus’ initial reluctance to fight Angel Dust in Deadpool.

Time to point out the obvious: if some girl is trying to whack your head in with a baseball bat, it’s alright to fight back. For whatever reason, for some fighting women who are pretty ok with fighting you seems to be one of those old weird chivalry rules that hasn’t quite gone away yet. I sincerely hope that if any of us were faced with Mickey and Lou from Far Cry New Dawn, Doom’s Olivia Pierce, Irene Engel from Wolfenstein 2, God of War’s Valkyries, or Lady Butterfly from Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice, we’d be ok with shedding some blood in the name of survival.

Monstrous mobs

This goes far beyond just low-level female and male mobs though, and into the depiction of monsters and the monstrous in video games. Although with some creatures it’s almost impossible to tell their gender due to their androgynous appearance – like Devil May Cry 5’s Hell Atenora or Metro Exodus’ humanimals – other games seem to incline more towards having a majority of monsters with masculine physical qualities. Take Outlast and Outlast 2, for example. Even though the second game had horrific female enemies like Val and Marta, the Heretics that you fought near the end of the game are all men, as evidenced by their almost-naked bodies and, ahem, genitalia. Then Outlast only had male enemies, despite there being a female ward at Mount Massive Asylum.

Helwalkers, Trolls, and Draugr in God of War all have male physical characteristics too (broad shoulders, slim hips), plus in Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild Lynels, as just one example, are all evidently buff lion centaur dudes. Depicting most monsters as having typically male qualities is limiting to say the least. Although they look cool as heck in a kind of horrifying way, monsters can and should have female characteristics too, like God of War’s Revenants or Left 4 Dead 2’s Spitter and Witch special infected. By the way, those two examples also prove that women can be monstrous without using their gender as the reason for their monstrosity, which is unfortunately the category that enemies like Marguerite Baker from Resident Evil 7 fall into, with her twisted form seemingly relying on a twisted mockery of pregnancy to disgust us.

And yeah, I know my entire argument can be simplified into 'let me kill more women in video games, dammit', but I’m ok with that. You want to support a tyrant? A cult leader? You can, no matter what’s between your legs! Including women among those low-level mobs undermines the idea that women can’t be aggressors, and helps to combat the sexist idea that women can’t be violent. A notion like that harms both genders, and who knows, this could just be a small step towards men being treated as women’s equals in other bits of real life too. Since we’ve started to talk more about equality between the sexes it’s no coincidence that current trends indicate men are feeling more able to open up about being the victims of violence: reports of sexual offences against men having tripled in the last 10 years, and reports of men being domestically abused have risen also. Having a balanced depiction of generic, evil men and women in video games might seem like a trivial point, but it’s small things like this that end up making it easier for all of us to be treated equally.