#because my meds are weed gummies

[dykebeckett]

maybe if I get high i will remember how to write

[quandongcrumble]

So, my anxiety hit the roof last night at bed time. It’s after 1 am and I’m sitting in paralysed doomscrolling on the couch and I need to go to bed but I just can’t, and my heart feels like it’s trying to climb out of my throat…

I’m on the prescribed medication but it just doesn’t cut it. You know what did? Sharing a joint with my partner. We had a little smoke, got pleasantly stoned, and then I had a quick shower and fell asleep before the body stoned feeling left my knees.

And it pisses me off that I live in a country where that’s illegal. Like, if I lived in the right country I could buy some gummies from a dispensary and chew one on nights like that. I would be able to work out what dosage works for me to cut the bullshit in my head and let me get some sleep, instead of hoping the backyard weed I have is going to be about the right potency. Instead I’m debating asking my doc for a prescription for something on top of my current meds because they work wonders for the depression but don’t really cut the anxiety.

[nerdy-nook]

Giving My Favorite Characters Weed: Voltron Edition

VLD is obviously set in the future, so let's just say weed is legal. You can get it if you're 18 and have a medical card or are 21 without a med card.

Shiro

Refuses to smoke because it's bad for your lungs.

"The only thing humans should be breathing in is oxygen"

He uses gummies though.

Got his med card when he was 18 to help with the chronic pain brought on by his disability.

The Garrison is ok with weed as long as the user has a medical card, no matter the age.

Probably prefers the body high edibles give because it's a break from the constant pain.

Used to get super blasted with Matt. Shiro would be trying to have a deep conversation with him but Matt's too geeked to understand anything that's happening.

Keith

Definitely smoked underaged, this kid was in the foster care system.

Doesn't like to get too high because it makes him feel out of control.

Has a soft spot for music when he's high. He'd get the music blaring as loud as he wanted in his cabin and let himself get taken away by the sound.

Joints are his favorite way to smoke.

First tried it when he was 15. He caught one of the older kids at the group home smoking it, he offered Keith a couple of hits so he'd keep quiet. (Not that he would've told anyway).

Introduced James to weed.

Prefers to smoke alone, though he does like to hang out with Shiro when he's high.

He likes the introspective thoughts he gets while high and likes to look inward and do some self-reflection.

Lance

Social smoker!

No literally, he only does it when other people are doing it.

Tried it for the first time at a family get-together when he was 16. His cousin let him try some saying "I'd rather you do it in the house than on the street."

Gets the giggles. Seriously he laughs at everything.

Likes to go for walks while high, as soon as the joint hits his lips he's on the move.

Lance doesn't like to smoke alone because he gets way too into his head. He starts to worry about what people think of him, if his friends are really his friends, etc.

Hunk

Have you ever seen a food creation so wild that you think "Ok, whoever came up with this had to have had the munchies."

Yeah, that's Hunk.

His brain just goes wild with different ideas for recipes when he's stoned. He has a notebook for it!

Does not move after smoking. His tolerance is superrrr low so it only takes a little bit for him to be lying on the floor unmoving.

"Hunk? You good buddy?"

*Hunk, lying sprawled out like a starfish* "mmmm great!"

Lance is running around and wants to go for a walk and Hunk is just like wtf.

Only started when Lance proposed a group smoke sesh. (edibles for Shiro)

Pidge

Did NOT smoke underage, her mom would've killed her.

She gets so creative. Give this girl a nice Sativa and she's off working on projects, furiously scribbling ideas in her notebook.

Found Matt's old stash when she was younger, and had no idea what it was. She asked Matt why he had a bag full of loose-leaf tea. (Ik she's a genius but come on, this girl had no idea about anything drug-related).

LOVES to game after a nice big hit. Any game will do as long as she's with her buddies.

Gets really into the growing process. She ends up experimenting with different strains and cross-breeding.

Not to mention she likes to make her own edibles, and she gets really into the science behind it. Testing how different strains feel and experimenting with different flavors.

[chokingonunluckyclovers]

More about Hyper pop Punk Wally

Wally's preference: (This is mostly for those who want to ship their OCs with Wally.) His type of romantic partners are the ones that can kick his ass or are just kickass baddies. It's one of the quickest ways to win his heart. beside sharing the same interests and food. 

He has a big sweet tooth, so he eats a lot of sugary drinks and foods. Bro needs those calories because his metabolism is whack. He likes milkshakes, sugary coffee drinks, battery acid (the drink), cakes, donuts, and the like. 

He typically likes hard candy because it dilutes in his mouth, and he hates chocolate. He doesn't really like how they taste. especially dislike chocolate by themselves. He isn't a fan of gummies, as he can't consume them properly (he can't really consume solids through his mouth). Btw, Wally can eat through his eye (like the og), but he has a habit of biting, sucking the flavor or juices, then leaning his head back and spitting it in the air. which hell then eat with his eyes to properly get the nutrients? Idk why I thought of this, but I want my wallys to share traits with the OG Wally.

He likes mint candies as they hide (or mask) his smoker's breath.

Now, he doesn't take any drugs of any kind, aside from the medications his home gives him. Also, yeah, Home acts as his caretaker, making sure Wally doesn't end up getting himself killed by getting injured badly (Wally can get very badly injured at some of his fights). He doesn't take drugs, mostly due to the fact that he was pumped full of drugs in his teen years, and any recreational drugs like weed will give him a bad trip and just a bad time in general. No pharmacological drugs work on him because his body practically grew resistant to them. He refuses to do coke or meth, cuz no.

Also, the meds home give him are kind of strange cuz, 1, they can't be bought from seeming anywhere. 2. Home just seems to have a huge supply of them (not sure if I want to have home be the one making them or something). and 3, the meds are kind of scary as they make the person feel no physical pain, and weirdly enough, they seem to help relieve it as well. But the meds come with a warning (somehow it has a warning, idk) that says they are very easy to overdose on and are highly addictive. Thankfully, at home, make sure to keep Wally in check for his medications.

He likes bright, guady, colors, and fashion. Also, like alt fashion, most things are similar to punk and scenekid. He doesn't like plain white or pastels, as they remind him of the insane asylum. And he just doesn't really like soft colors or plain fashion. He likes it extreme so that he is stimulated. also doesn't do well when he has nothing to do, especially when it's quiet and calm, because he then feels like he's going insane.

He has fears of needles, being restrained, and being alone (again because of his past). Unfortunately, despite not really being a mean person at heart, he does have some anger issues (understandable so) and will at times push some boundaries, but never intentionally. but he's not afraid to insult those who kind of deserve it.

He is very affectionate with his loved ones and will shower them with love once his feelings are reciprocated (this applies both romantically and plantonically). Sometimes he gets a bit too excited about love and gets into the habit of biting. but if he is told not to do that again, he won't bite again. He respects his partners or friends boundaries and won't cross them.

but he does have a bit of a possessive side to him (which is kind of feuled by his parionoa, need for affection, and care). 

For one, he will keep an eye on them but never fully follow them around. Just whenever paths cross, he will definitely have his attention on them. He'll keep little tracks of information on them, and if ever he is invited to their place, even once, he will memorize the path. but only in case he needs to drag them back home after getting drunk or something. (He had too much experience with not knowing where to bring his drunk friends.) He will attempt to put a "tracker" (aka a little doodle of an eye or a swirl) and watch through it. So this way, he always has his eyes on them. This does come in handy when some of his friends get jumped, and he will then come running to help.

In terms of romantic relationships, he does have boundaries. Hes fine with a crazy and obessive partner, just not to the point where they try to hurt anyone who is close to Wally (does not like yanderes). But if he realizes he entered a relationship based on a lie, was used, abused, or is dating a friend's sibling (happened with Eddie's sibling Daisy), he will end the relationship.

[chicago-geniza]

Okay!!! Good morning! We're making boring executive function to-do lists on Tumblr dot com again! Today we have taken meds, inhalers, vitamins; exfoliated, cleansed, shaved, and moisturized face; brushed and flossed our teeth; put on clean clothes and transferred dirty clothes to the washer; taken Focus weed gummy. In approximate order, we need to:

Drink Celsius ✅

Put on Wolf Hall

Refill weekly pill case

Make breakfast--probably more rice and leftover banchan with soy sauce + chili oil, bibimbap style. Oh that reminds me we need eggs next grocery run. And check EBT balance

Eat breakfast while watching Wolf Hall

Hang up clothes from dryer in bathroom

Queue up Hilary Mantel Reith lecture

SHOWER while listening to Reith lecture

Are you getting the sense that I can't do a task without music, audiobooks, podcasts, radio, or TV in the background? Well. You're right

Lie down after shower

Put on house socks and slippers

Put on classical radio in the kitchen

Today? Oh buddy. Today we start deep-cleaning an apartment that looks exactly like the interiors that those TikTik charity-case deep cleaners take on, because I am severely disabled and had a job for 8 months and could not take care of myself or my habitat while also doing the bare minimum in part-time retail

But by the power of weed and unemployment I will make this place fit for human habitation again

[coolfire333]

The painkillers and muscle relaxers the doctor gave me only kinda work so for like 2 hours I'm able to be mildly mobile without too much pain and then after the two hours are up it's back to "sitting up even slightly feels like someone is ripping my spine out" aughhh

Kicking myself because my dad offered to get me weed gummies the other night (it's legal recreationally in my location) and I was like nah I'll pass I'm waiting to see how the prescription meds they gave me work because surely they're gonna give me like horse tranquilizer grade painkillers but this is PALTRY these just make me slightly sleepy like oh my god I want to be so drugged up rn that I don't even remember having a back at all

Literally stuck in bed rn propped up by a mound of pillows because even moving my legs or arms too much is excruciating like my body is so scared of the pain it refuses to move, asking me to sit up garners the same physical reaction as asking to put my fingers in a running blender like why would I willingly do that I KNOW it'll hurt. Oh please somebody give me stronger medicine right fucking now

[shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey]

Angel on my shoulder: you've been having some weird reactions to weed recently, even though those might have just because that one jar of gummies went bad when it melted and resolidified, and as we don't really know how much your new meds interact with weed, you should probably just stick to the half-gummy you took earlier and not take more

Devil on my other shoulder: You're feeling fine so far and more will really help with the pain you've been having, take a whole other gummy on top of the half you already took

[lastoneout]

So my neurologist actually did something right for once and gave me some ambien to help me sleep while I'm on the steroid pack since I already have insomnia and steroids make it WAY worse, and I was really excited because this is legit what I've been wanting a doctor to do for like over a year now...but it didn't really help me sleep, at least not as well as the weed does.

I could possibly just need a higher dose(I am known to be very resistant to these sorts of meds, it takes like twice the normal dose of propofol to put me under) or maybe the steroid is just so powerful the meds can't make a dent in it(which I'd believe since I'm really sensitive to steroids and the weed ALSO doesn't help me sleep as well when I'm on them), and also it's really hot and humid right now which makes it hard to sleep in general AND I just got my bc implant put in which is making it hard to sleep since I have to be careful with my left arm and I like NEED to be able to switch what side I sleep on cuz my shitty arthritic joints don't like staying in one position for too long...but this is a bit of a let down ngl. I was really excited to be able to sleep and then maybe use this as proof that I can be trusted with sleep medication and I could finally stop having to spend damn near $100 on weed gummies every month and a half just to Sleep At All but like...hnnnn.....

Idk, when I see my primary I'm going to beg her to send me to a sleep specialist again bcs the weed is NOT sustainable it's already expensive and on top of that I am absolutely building up a tolerance which means I have to take more to sleep and thus spend more money and it's so fucking annoying. I've already made a lot of progress in the trauma department too and that hasn't really helped me sleep better which leads me to believe this is def a result of one of my other medical issues, I def think a sleep specialist is the best bet rn.

The plus side tho is she gave me 15 ambien and I only have three days of the steroids left, and my arm should be healed better in the next couple of days, so I should have a chance to test the ambien without the dual whammy of the arm pain and steroids wrecking my system, and if even that fails well that's a 15 day T break for the weed which honestly I really do need so like there's that.

Also since I have a bunch of new followers quick FAQ/rundown before anyone gives advice:

I have bipolar disorder type II and adhd and severe chronic pain from fibromyalgia, arthritis, and hEDS. The adderall for my adhd isn't the problem, I actually sleep WAY worse without it. I don't drink that many caffeinated beverages and I especially don't drink them basically at all when I'm on steroids so that's not it either. At least a little of my insomnia is due to trauma and not having a dog currently, but I can't adopt another one right now for numerous reasons, and EMDR has helped the trauma nightmares/anxiety let up quite a lot but that hasn't helped me sleep. I can't take CBD it makes my brain feel like I'm hooked up to a car battery. I also can't smoke bcs asthma so unfortunately I am stuck buying edibles which are very expensive. Insomnia isn't on the medical marijuana criteria in my state so I can't even make it cheaper that way. Melatonin does nothing. Benadryl also does nothing. Exercising before bed also does nothing. I can't do yoga(hEDS) or meditate(adhd). Cutting down on screen time before bed doesn't help and I already spend as little time in my bedroom as possible during the day so my brain keeps associating being in there with sleeping. Listening to music/a podcast doesn't help. Sleepy teas and nice baths and all that before bed doesn't help. I have a weighted blanket which does help a little, but sucks bcs it traps heat like a motherfucker, but I'd sleep worse without it so yeah. Also I can't make my house any cooler/less humid because I'm renting and it's old and shitty and doesn't have real air conditioning and the little portable ac unit + dehumidifier is trying but like...it's not enough I'm still hot and sweaty all night.

I am on hydroxyzine and nortryptraline and they don't make me even a little tired. I cannot take SSRIs or SNRIs on account of the bipolar and the fact that I'm just really sensitive to stuff that messes with my serotonin, even when I'm on a mood stabilizer, and the only med that I can stand that does serotonin stuff is the nortryptraline and it's also the only thing that helps my pain so switching it to something else isn't an option. I build up a resistance to seroquel really fast which makes my insomnia infinitely worse in the long run so I don't see the point in taking it. I have tried basically everything my psychiatrist can think to give me outside of narcotics, which led to her straight up telling me to my face she just can't help me before clarifying that apparently narcotics are somehow worse for me than not sleeping so she won't prescribe them even if they might help. I don't snore or wake up gasping for air so I know I don't have COPD or sleep apnea.

Literally the only thing that has ever made sleeping easy is weed(and opioids but those don't help my pain and have so many hoops to jump through so I don't wanna take them anymore), specifically indica with CBN, but it has to have THC in it I've tried pure CBN + CBD gummies and they don't make me tired they just make me feel weird 'cuz of the CBD.

So yeah. I am up shit creek without a paddle and I really quite desperately need to see a sleep specialist. I appreciate advice but like believe me, I've tried just about everything I can think of and none of it helps. I just naturally have really bad insomnia. And it sucks.

[disableism]

TLDR at the bottom:

Thursday at PT I started feeling kinda nauseous & lightheaded. I texted my sister to come get me. By the time she showed up 15 minutes later, I was dead white and so cold that I was extremely shaking which was causing joint contractures. With arthritis, no cartilage & locked joints, this was very painful. It was weird, because I didn’t feel cold to the touch. No fever either.

We called 911. By the time the ambulance arrived I was crying out in pain. They took me away but because my vitals were all fine —except for a slightly elevated blood pressure, which I don’t know how that’s possible— they refused to treat me & said they had to leave me for the doctors. I begged for blankets & got one flimsy one. In the ER they wouldn’t treat me until the doctor saw me, even though I was begging for heated blankets. Eventually I got one flimsy one there too. I also was crying for them to go out in the waiting room and get my sister. I was told that when she arrived she’d be let back. I kept having to explain she’d been right behind the ambulance. They left her in the waiting room for an hour. Meanwhile I’m in the exam room alone, unable to do more than roll over without assistance because said sister is my caregiver. I’m also in horrible pain, shaking so bad everything is contracting. I couldn’t answer their questions except one word pushed out with every breath because of the shaking. I kept telling them my sister could answer everything and that she had my med card. I had to do the whole check in process one…word…at…a…time. Finally I saw a doctor who said “sure” to my request for a stack of heated blankets & a flush of IV fluids. Then Sis was allowed back & I got a room nurse assigned to me who was a godsend. The blankets stopped me shaking enough that I slept and when I woke up 3 hours later, I felt exhausted & a lil shaky, but no longer cold, even a bit sweaty. And my face color had come back. My labs & urine came back fine. So they sent me home.

The only thing anyone could think of was I had a weed gummy that day, an hour before my appointment. I have not had weed in 20 years but my doctor finally cleared me for it to have even though I also take Norco. This was my 4th gummy in the past week. The doctor said maybe it was a bad reaction. Why not with the first one? I know sometimes allergies can take a while to build up. With my Sulfa allergy I was on it a week before I had my very awful reaction of muscle seizures. So maybe that’s what this was? Except today I was outside & the temp was dropping, a storm in the air and I started to feel cold. And had a bit of a cold flush run through me. I thought it was outside air making me cold which caused a spike of anxiety because of the earlier experience. So I went inside but I kept feeling colder & started shaking, so I got under the covers, turned on the heating pad & turned off the fans. My color stayed fine and after 30 minutes of lowkey cold & shaking I was warm enough, I slept for an hour and woke up drained but fine. Even hot. (My sweet kitty had come to lay on the top of my head because he takes care of his Mommy Lady).

Was this last bout anxiety? I don’t know. I just wanna sob & sob because I can’t handle yet another thing being wrong with me, especially one that comes on so sudden and requires me to drop what I’m doing immediately and get under ALL the blankets. Also my family is here from Canada & I only get so much face to face time with them each year, I do not wanna miss a single second with my niblings.

Anyway, anyone ever have something like this happen? Other issues I have that might be relevant is medication allergies which is why I thought “reaction to gummy”, rheumatoid arthritis, autoimmune liver disorder, kidney stones, fibromyalgia and I had the Inspire implant surgically put in a month ago but I have healed fine & it has not been activated yet. Thoughts?

Tl;dr: I went cold & dead white all over causing me to shake so hard I had joint contractures. Lasted about 2 hours & only went away with many heated blankets. Vitals stayed fine, labs/urine were fine, no fever, was not cold to the touch, doctor was not sure what happened. Anybody have something similar?

[captain-stretch-nuts]

Bro I gave myself a herniated disk so I went to the urgent care and got myself a diagnosis and meds for it consisting of steroids and... muscle relaxants. (sorry about the random tone shifting. I do this because gran autismo)

Very important to check drug interactions when you get prescription meds. Why do I advise this? Well that's because tonight was a night I scheduled having some weed gummies, which of course I mustn't delay or cancel. We researched it and there were no harmful side effects besides getting extremely sleepy. So, I take weed with these meds and here we are now to the present moment. The moment in which I learned the true meaning of sleepy.

As though I were in the arms of Morpheus himself, except I am a toddler in overalls stained with chocolate and sticky with whatever the fuck, straining against the iron grip of Morpheus who holds the leash.

But my body has finally given up its wakefulness. I might have slipped off the toddler leash backpack but I'm plum tuckered out. Morpheus carries me now to sleep.

Long may these hours in his arms last. I'm snug as a bug in a rug.

Do I have a choice in the matter? Absolutely not. I have made a potion of "go the fuck to bed and enter the Infinitely Descending Comfort Zone" and brother it's giga omega 9th level gorilla grip strong

[solradguy]

Ok I hate getting too heavy on main but does anyone have any cool tips and tricks for not having violent gory nightmares like every other night lol

I don't eat before bed (~2 hours), I've cut back on caffeine (mostly green tea anyway), I don't read dark/edgy stuff too close to bed, I'm a little stressed because of the stuff going on with Murphy's diabetes but otherwise I'm doing pretty good and a lot of good things are happening around that. Also I've been having dreams like this for like 7 years now so my brain meds aren't the cause of it.

The bright side is that I dream so often that when it happens I'm like "cool whatever none of this is real just get on with it" lmfao They make me sleep bad though. Weed helps a lot but gummies are expensive and I don't like smoking it frequently because bad unhealthy. Melatonin does nothing

I see my doctor soon for a checkup so I'm gonna bring it up with her (IF I REMEMBER THIS TIME LOL) but until then...

[rabiesofficial]

How did you get into weed, any advice on how to get into it ?

Part of it is gonna be on whether you live on a legal area or not. I live in an area where I can have it delivered to me so it’s super easy. If you live somewhere where you need a plug, idk if you want take that risk.

I would also not recommend smoking if you’re a minor or easily hooked onto things. Weed won’t have you overdosing on the floor or anything, but it’s bad for the developing brain + may be psychologically hard to kick for some people.

Apart from that I just started buying like, a gram at a time and using those little one hitters you can get for like, $5 at a smoke shop. I use a bong now because It’s less harsh on my lungs, you could probably get a 6” one for $20-$25 online [+ shipping) but my preference is closer to a 10” bong so that you don’t burn your hair or eyebrows tryna light your weed lol. Imo do NOT get ice catchers/honey comb ice catchers in your bong. Just makes it harder to clean + cold air (ice/water) actually makes the tips harsher and you’re more likely to cough. When you breathe in you’re inhaling slow/med-slow speed. If you go too fast you’ll cough. Take smaller hits to start, if your hit is too big you’ll cough. Once you have your small hit, try to inhale it into your lungs, the way I’ve seen it described is imagine someone just walked in on you smoking and you gasped/inhaled in shock lol. Then hold it for 7 seconds max, that’s just flexing at that point. Tbh 3 seconds is probably good but y’know :3

Some people are gonna be wayyyy sensitive to weed and some not at all. I knew someone who could only smoke indicas (downer) because sativas (upper strains) and hybrids (mixed lol) would freak her out. Tbh edibles are a great and awful way to get started. My suggestion if you want to start with edibles is buy one that is in 5 mg doses (most packages have 100 mgs total so that’s like, 20 gummies). The standard dosage is 10mg, for a beginner I’d say go with 5 mg. If you’re terrible unlucky like me it won’t hit you at all no matter what dosage you take. If you’re even more unlucky, you’ll eat too much + have it hit you and have the worst weed experience of your life. Edibles last longer than smoking because of the way your body processes it, so eat your dosage (5mg-10mg depending on when you want to start) and wait about an hour to two hours. If it doesn’t hit eat another small dosage. I’m serious you don’t want to eat too much, you’ll end up throwing up and having an awful time. If you’re paranoid, have pure CBD gummies around. CBD counteracts some of the too high feeling of thc, it’ll just make you suuuuuper relaxed you might end up napping. I think this is all I remember for now 🤔 lmk if you have more questions

[kawaiijohn]

Thoughts about weed (positive yet frustrated)

Most of the old ladies I work with drive out of state to get pot for loved one's pain management because it's cheaper and gentler on their bodies (diabetics, cancer patients, ect) since our state is the only one in the fucking area where it's still hella illegal

One of them, their husbands doctor straight up told her to just drive to Ohio to get him gummies so he could live a better life

Idk why I'm thinking about it other than Indiana doesn't do state referendums and it pisses me off bc we could change so much if it DID

Like making it so my 70+ year old coworkers aren't at threat of being sent to prison for drug trafficking :///

Or so that I could just eat a tenth of a brownie instead of having to down a handful of pills that were destroying my kidneys and lower intestines smh.

Like yeah it's not a cure all and you shouldn't take it with certain conditions or meds but it's a lot easier on the body than some of the other treatments for pain.

[ticklish-touch]

Alright. I have a confession to make. I've been wanting to talk about this for a while, but it is another big reason that my Backrooms story is being delayed and why I'm less active.

(TW for w*e*e*d mention/subst*nce use, as well as N*S*F*W themes).

Last year, I started taking cannabis edibles for the first time in my life. They're legal in my state, and I was just... So at the end of my rope with trying to find something, anything, that would help my anxiety and help my brain shut off or wander off at night to take my thoughts away from the mental & emotional trauma I've been through in the last year. I took advice from a couple friends who take edibles, I still catalogue my reactions to it like a fucking scientist to try and be careful not to let myself go too wild.

CBD and THC hybrid gummies have been a lifesaver for me. I feel so much more relaxed after work. I can fall asleep so much faster. I feel so pleasantly lucid, and I can imagine so much more to my music.

I've also found that Sativa, especially when not combined with my CBD gummies, sends my imagination into overdrive like I wouldn't believe. And at first, I LOVED it!! I thought "oh holy shit I can use this energy to write more, faster!"

Until I realized that along with my ideas, it also amplified my ADHD. My thoughts and ideas bounce around off of each other SO MUCH that I need to scramble to get them written on Google Docs. I become beyond existential when lost in thw sauce. And not in a bad way! I have actually been able to work through a LOT of emotional and mental baggage that I've been carrying, simply by dumping my philosophical ramblings and self-pep-talks/ self-criticisms on Docs. And that's why, in spite of me not focusing as much on this big project, I feel like it's been important for me to get these thoughts out. They could be potential ideas for books, comics, short stories etc.

BUT needless to say, it is a reason that I can't stay focused on one chapter after another. I have four chapters left, and I keep bouncing back and forth between them. Because, spoiler, my last couple chapters are going to be as trippy as a drug trip. I'm gonna incorporate elements similar to Doctor Strange, Quantumania and Spiderverse.

But overall, I'm going to listen to my Muse, and strike while the iron's totally blitzed. 👍 I feel like, if I try to force myself to work on a chapter or drawing, I'll lose passion for it. It's not fizzling out, it's just on the backburner, collecting flavor and thoroughly cooking.

(N*S*F*W*): A slightly more... Embarrassing reason, is that, because I'm over-imaginative and horny on main, my libido also gets massively enhanced by edibles 50% of the time. So I end up dumping some of the naughtiest concepts I've ever had about my OCs or canon characters, or absolutely paralyzing myself with lee/switch moods by listening to songs, playing spooky games, watching videos with Ler vibes, that all activate my fear kink & tickle kink. And it's... A very good outlet. I may never share some of these writings, but it's helped me get over that last bit of shame I've carried with me ever since the first Tumblr purge and since the "ew kinky people r gross, tickling shouldn't be s3xual" uprising of SFW tickle blogs.

BUT ALL IN ALL, I do take CBD for legitimate anxiety reasons. My anxiety meds have not done shit since this January, when everything at work started going to hell. CBD relaxes my body and actually helps me fall asleep like nothing else ever has.

Meanwhile being on sativa and caffeine can keep me up til 6 in the morning. Like right now as I'm writing this. 😃 But again, it gets the huge dam of thoughts to break and flow freely.

So yeah. Weed has been better therapy for me than actual therapy. For thirty fucking years of my life, I have been desperate to find some kind of coping mechanism, or outlet, or medicine, to help my disorders. And these edibles, along with my antidepressant and creative mind, have worked together pretty damn nicely. And I can now say along with MANY of my friends and peers, fuck anyone who says that medical marijuana should not be legal. Hell, imo recreational weed should also be legal just about everywhere in certain doses, but I'm not gonna get into politics.

I understand if you don't personally approve of the use of recreational drugs. But please, if you're going to judge me, or anyone who uses weed to help calm their mental issues, kindly keep it to yourself. I don't want another situation where an abusive fuckhead tried to mock a friend of mine for smoking pot. Or a dude on a server I'm modding getting childishly preachy about how everyone who uses it will end up fucked in the head and that proper diet and exercise is the cure-all for mental issues.

I'm a grown adult, I know my limits. Sometimes I slip a little and take them 4 nights in a row. Other times I take them maybe twice a week. But I know myself well enough to know that when I set a boundary for myself, I'm fucking stubborn about not breaking it. IF I feel myself slipping, I will reach out for legit help. I also know I can't blow too much money on eddies each month. But I need yall to understand that I've needed this.

TL;DR: I've been taking cannabis edibles and it's helping redirect my mind into places that I didn't realize I needed to explore, and it's been very helpful to me physically and emotionally, so I'd rather go with the flow and not force myself to work on my projects.

So, either way, if you've read this, thank you so much for sticking around. ❤

[whatifimnotevenbipolar]

Depression Tips from an experienced Bipolar:

Sometimes theres nothing we can do. Even if you do all the right things it can still get bad. I’m in my first episode in a while right now, and though I’ve found no way to make it stop, I’ve found ways to make it easier. It’s worth note that my experience is specific to Bipolar Depression. I’ve been dealing with this for at least 5 years now, and I’ve been medicate for less that a year (But meds really do make all the difference).

I have good days and bad days. If you have good days, utilize them. If you have the energy to cook dinner 1 night out of the week, try to make a big batch of whatever you’re making. Throw it in containers so you have meals made for your bad days when the task of cooking feels too hard to make it worth eating. If you never have one of these days eat what you can. No prep food is better than no food. But having something real to eat makes a big difference.

Everyone always says to push yourself to go out and to exercise and this and that. This can be really helpful with generalized prolonged depression, but for me my episodes aren’t super long lasting and not allowing myself to rest can actually make the episode worse. If you feel in control allow yourself to rest. Watch movies. Relax. Just be as intentional with it as you can.

With that being said, there are alot of easy ways to reframe a depressive episode as a time of rest, and sometimes gaslighting yourself works. One of my biggest things is prioritizing cleanliness over everything. If I only have 10 minutes worth of energy I use it on this. If I don’t have any, this is the one thing I force myself to do. I tidy my room. I don’t deep clean it. But I don’t allow dishes in my room. They have to be left outside the door. Garbage goes in the mini trash can. Clothes and clutter goes in the closet away from my sight until the episodes over and I’m able to clean properly. I shower, every day if possible and keep myself in clean, comfy clothes. If I can’t do everyday I keep my hair braided so it stays clean and I don’t feel disgusting. Teeth tends to be the hard thing for me, but rinsing my mouth out has to do sometimes.

In continuation of the intentional rest. Weed does wonders for me. I control my use due to addictive tendencies, but when I’m in an episode I allow myself to use it at my own discretion to soften the sharper edges and prevent any suicidal thoughts from coming up.

Get a big ass water bottle/cup/jug/case of water. I can not fill my water for the life of me when it gets bad. Leaving my room is my biggest barrier so I’ve found ways to work around it without harming myself. Make sure you can keep hydrated without any barriers if at all possible, by any means necessary.

No sad media. That means music. Movies. Shows. It makes it worse. Hard limit. Keep it away. I try to stick to Christmas movies and straight men music.

Take you ur meds if you have them. If you feel like you should go off them, don’t! If you don’t have access to meds, I have a couple tried and true methods that work FOR ME. This might not be the case for everyone. I take D3 and Magnesium. NO MELATONIN// it makes you more depressed. HTP-5 as long as you aren’t on SSRI’s works to increase dopamine and acts as a diy anti-depressant. If all else fails, I’ve always had success with micro-🍄 gummies.

Fuck what you have to do. Do what you want. Doing something you enjoy is better than doing nothing because you feel guilty about not doing the things you’re “supposed” to be doing. Surviving is your priority. Everything else can wait.

[cleoselene]

I have a dental infection AND a UTI at the same time, hahaha fuck this shit man. This is life on a B-cell depleting drug therapy. I am pumped full of antibiotics now, which is always worrisome because I am pretty barfy on a good day (yeah that B-cell depleting drug therapy? a gentle way of saying CANCER MEDICINE. That's what they give MS patients. Cancer medicine. Mine treats leukemia!), but I have promethazine which is pretty good anti-emetic and i also got some weed gummies and RSO to drizzle over the gummies and a big giant Fiji which is of course, King Water

I haven't had edibles in like. 3 months? I used to get RSO all the time and my tolerance was ridiculous. So I decided to stick to inhalation and started getting the higher quality vapes (full-spectrum, live resin) just stocking on them when they go on flash sale, and doing dabs on Big Mom, my giant golden bong. The result is that this RSO/gummy combo along with a couple percocets has me feeling DECENT. Edible really is my favorite route. I mean I still feel sick? But like, cozy and comfortable about it haha. And stoned.

I get these infections just ??? from fucking nowhere??? because I have no immune system and people wonder why I don't go out. But you know, on the other hand, covid and learning how to avoid illnesss has meant I have not gotten BIG SICK except for the one time I got covid. I'm still not sure how I got it, but my labs had shown like two days before I got covid that my immunoglobulin levels had cratered because of the Kesimpta (the aforementioned cancer medicine) and then poof, got covid 2 years in. But other than covid, I haven't gotten the flu, which used to be a given even with the flu shot, I haven't gotten the RSV, I haven't gotten any of the many really wicked colds that were floating around. I still wear KN-95 masks everywhere and I get comments about it from the REAL AMERICANS of south Florida, but whatever, the comments just proof I don't want to breathe in their unvaccinated particles???

Anyway. My poor roommate ALSO has a dental infection, which is crazy, but hers comes from stress grinding her teeth in her sleep to the point of breaking them (!) and the infection got into her jaw (!!!) and she spending the night in the hospital :( Poor thing. It just sucks, man. She doesn't have insurance so she wasn't able to just, email her doctors the way I could and then go pick up her zero copay meds. She had to wait until it got TERRIBLE enough to be admitted to the hospital. Why? BECAUSE FLORIDA HASN'T ACCEPTED MEDICAID EXPANSION 🙃