#because my bp has been elevated again lately

[mooifyourecows]

Got a cardiologist appointment today 🥲 hope I get a good grade in high blood pressure

[agentsoftie]

“I Love You” ( S.R )

summary: you get kidnapped and tortured but luckily the team find you fast enough. you act like everything’s fine but spencer doesn’t believe it so he takes care of you. when he does this you both share some things

a/n: the title is like a quote from everyone and everything that has said it! yes, i did just think of that. also the first part of this might be triggering so, trigger warning! oh and thanks @thestrawberrygirl for helping me with the end!!

warnings: trigger warning: blood, cuts, mention of death : angst : fluffy end though because i like to make y/n’s life always have a fairytale ending

pairing: spencer reid x reader

tagging: @criminalmindsmoodrn, @marshmallowtraver, and @ghostly-angelic

Remember to like and reblog!!

It’s been 21 hours. 21 hours since you got captured. Or at least that’s what the clock said. All you remember before blacking out was going out in the field. Everyone was split into pairs but you were the only one alone. You remember going out into a pitch-black alleyway. I guess that’s what you expect from going into one at night as a woman right.

You looked down to find cuts and blood all over you. You could still feel the pain but at this point, you had given up on any promise of your team finding you again. You just accepted your faith and tried not to entertain the guy that was holding you captive. You couldn’t get up because your ribs we’re broken, or at least that would explain the tremendous amounts of pain you felt when you tried to get up the first couple of times. You could feel that there was blood on your face, but what was the point of cleaning up. No one was gonna see you alive, except him.

“CLAUDE IRAY!!” You hear someone yell. You’re pretty sure it was Derek but at this point, this could all be a hallucination.

“Yes?” You hear him say smugly. You couldn’t tell where he was, but he was somewhere.

“You’re under arrest for the murder of 5 women, now where is Y/N Y/L/N!!” Derek said while cuffing him. Claude just remained silent.

“Y/N!! Y/N!!” You hear Spencer yell.

“In here!” You say after mustering up the energy to speak.

“Oh my god!” He says as he sees you. You couldn’t really see him. All you saw was his messy fluffy hair. You love that hair. He runs over to you and puts your head on his lap. He finds your pulse which is barely still there. He grabs your hand as you start to close your eyes. “Stay with me, come on you can do that. Just keep your eyes open for me. Come on,”

You didn’t quite finish hearing what he said because it was too late. Your eyes were closed, and you were fine with it. You had known something like this would possibly happen when you signed up for the academy so there was no arguing. The best you could do was try not to get blood on his shirt, which you miserably failed at.

“Y/N? Y/N come on. Y/N please,” All you felt was a tear on your face before blacking out.

“Reid, it’s been 3 days, you need to go home and get some sleep.” You faintly hear someone say.

“Hotch, no. I can’t leave her. She needs someone.”

“She has someone. Garcia, JJ, and Blake are outside right now and Morgan and Rossi are on their way here. But the difference is that they actually got sleep last night, and you should too. In your own bed, at home.”

“But sir,” Before he could say anything you moved your hand in a visible way and opened your eyes only to close them because of the blinding lights that were shining down. They both turned to look at you and just stared.

“Well hello to the both of you too,” You mummer while trying to sit up a little. “I uh, where am I?”

“Um, the hospital,” Spencer says.

“Oh, okay. Chill,” You say while your eyes still process all the light. 3 women entered the room, they were pretty blurry so you could barely tell who they were. “Oh my god, baby are you okay?” You see the one on the right say.

“Yeah, or think at least.”

One of them came quickly to your side and hed your hand, that was Blake. “Don’t you ever do anything like that again. You had us all worried sick,”

“Okay mom,” You say jokingly, but everyone else doesn’t seem to find it funny.

“We’re serious hun. We were all terrified of what could have happened to you.” Now that was JJ. She just had her ‘disappointed for no reason but seriously worried’ mom voice going on.

“Oh, you’re awake, finally,” Rossi says while he walks through the door with Derek following him. Derek didn’t say anything, he just came next to you and patted your shoulders with the ‘I’m glad you’re okay kid’ look.

“Yes yes I am awake and well, or at least I think. What ever happened to me? And what happened to him?” You say now fully awake.

“You were unconscious and unstable. Luckily Reid found you in time, or else you probably wouldn’t be here right now. And as for Iray, he’s in jail for now, but you will need to testify.” Hotch says in his normal stern voice. It was like nothing changed, but you and everyone else knew that they had a big time.

“So how damaged am I?” You say just as the doctor walks in.

“I can help you with that. I’m Dr.Stevens and its nice to see that you’re up. You have a mild concussion, a few broken ribs, and some physical therapy.” She says while checking your BP. “How long will I be here?” You ask wanting to get out of this shit hole. “Um, about 3 or 4 days. Although when you do get home you’re gonna want to have someone there, so do you have anyone that could help?

Before you could say anything Spencer answered. “She’s staying with me.” You didn’t want to argue with him because you didn’t have any relatives that could take care of you, and you felt safe in his company. Plus, he looked like he hadn’t gotten any sleep and you did not want to mess with ‘no sleep Spencer’ it was like a death sentence.

“Okay, great!” Is all she said before walking out.

“Spencer are you sure about this?” You ask while you get changed.

“Yes, Y/N. I am sure. Now come on, hurry up.”

“So, you’re just gonna drop me off at my place right,” You ask when opening the curtain.

“No. You are gonna stay with me, at my place.”

“But,”

“No ‘buts’ come on, you need someone.”

“I know I know I just don’t want to be a burden.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, you’re not. Now come one, let’s get checked out.”

The car ride home was silent, but it was a comforting silence. A silence you needed after the disaster of a week you had. Spencer’s apartment was about half an hour away from the hospital, but yours was only 20 so you were confused as of stopping. “Wait, if I’m staying at your place then don’t I need clothes?”

“Yeah, Blake went and got some?”

“She has my key? Huh?”

“Yeah, you gave it to her the other day. You probably don’t remember though.” He says while laughing very lightly. There was the Spencer you knew. The Spencer you love. The Spencer you would do anything for. But, you couldn’t have him. Maeve was the only one he had ever loved and knowing him, he’s probably still grieving.

“Okay, here we are,” He says while pulling up to a semi-empty parking lot. He got out first, but being the kind gentleman he is he helped you out. Luckily you didn’t have any bags or luggage to carry with you so it wasn’t that hard to get to his place but you were still sore as hell so the ride up the elevator was a little painful. Spencer had noticed and asked if you were okay, but all you said was everything’s fine, and that he shouldn’t worry. He knew better though so the minute you walked in the apartment he went in the kitchen.

“Spencer, what are you doing?” You say sitting down.

“Here, drink this. I used to make this for my mom whenever she got a headache.” He says handing you a drink.

“But I don’t have a headache,”

“Just drink it, trust me.” So you did exactly what he said and drank it. You couldn’t tell if it was tea or coffee. It had a peppermint taste and smell though so you were very confused and he noticed. “Its uh, peppermint tea. Does it taste good?” You simply responded with a nod. “Well, um we should probably go to sleep now,” He says while looking outside.

“I can just sleep here on the couch or something, it’s no big deal,” You say halfway finished with the tea.

“I can’t just let you sleep on the couch. what if you get hurt?”

“And how would that happen?”

“I don’t know but what if? Come on how about you sleep in my bed and I’ll sleep here. On the couch,”

“Spencer, I can’t just take your own bed from you in your own house. That’s just plain rude.”

“Fine then sleep with me. Oh, wait, I didn’t mean that,” He says fumbling over his words. You loved it when he did this, it gave him a more human side. “I mean, you and I can sleep in the same bed. It’s a win-win for both of us. You know, like I will sleep in my own bed like you want, and you’ll be safe like I want.” You never noticed how much he talks with his hands when he gets nervous, it’s cute.

“Okay, fine. Just know that i'm fine though.”

“Stop!! Please!! I didn't do anything! Please, I promise I wont say anything!!” You yell in the middle of the night or whatever. You didn't know, it was a dream. But it felt so real. It was like he was there and it was happening all over again. “Please just let me go!” You yell again. You couldn't help it.

“Y/N! Y/N! Y/N wake up!” Spencer yells as he moves your arm.

You open your eyes and immediately jump up. “Spencer, I uh, I'm, I’m fine.” You say still trying to regain all your air. You weren't fine and he knew it. I mean, how do explain that without saying the truth? Do you say you had a dream about Hotch giving you more paperwork? No, he would never believe that. What about you getting your haircut involuntarily? That could possibly work.

“Y/N, you're not fine,” He says in a very scratch deep voice. He had just woken up and you could tell.

“Yes I am, now go back to-” You were cut off by a very new version of Spencer. A version you had never seen before. You weren’t scared in a sense just worried. He wasn’t playing around and definity was not going to go to sleep until you admit everything.

“Y/N come on. Just tell me everything. Was that about, you know,” he says in a more softer comforting tone this time.

“Just call him by his name. Claude Iray. And yeah, it was. Now can we just go back to sleep, my back is killing me.”

“Come here,” he said before pulling you close to his chest. It was comfortable and actually really soothing. “Talk, tell me everything.”

“I can't. I can’t cause’ if I do then it's like living it all over again and I just, I just can't!”

“What were you thinking about?” He asks as if nothing just happened.

“When?”

“In those 21 hours.”

“The team, my friends, you. I was thinking about all the things that I didn't get to say. The things that I needed to say.”

“Like what?”

“Well, um,” you pulled away from his chest, not sure if what you were gonna say next would be the best option in the world. “I was thinking of how I didnt get to say “I love you” to you. And I totally get it if you know you don't feel the same way. It makes total sense and stuff, and if this is uncomfortable and stuff I can go to Alex’s. She is kinda like my mom so it would make sense if she took care of me. Oh god now I'm rambling.”

He looked at you for a second as if he was unsure with what you just said. But then he grabbed you and put his lips on yours. It took you a minute to process everything that was happening, but the minute you did you kissed back. He pulled you in closer the minute you did. Sadly though you both needed to break apart because of loss of air.

“I love you too,”

“Love is a great beautifier”

— louisa may alcott

[babystray-rescuecat]

Update on Romeo 🐱

Romeo got diagnosed with stage 2 (of 4) kidney disease.

On the night of Friday, July 23, my hand came away with a sticky clear fluid after petting him. I checked him over but couldn’t find a wound on his body. 

The following afternoon, I saw the wound on his bum. It was already red. He’d most likely been licking at it. I’m not sure how he got it. I thought it was from sitting on some piece of roofing that got blown away by the strong wind. It’s healing up now and actually it looks like a pair of puncture wounds. Maybe he got into a fight. Maybe he got bitten by something. I’m not completely sure because it’s scabbed over now.

I took him to the vet on Wednesday, July 28 - a little late, I know, but it was the soonest appointment we could get. He’d already been a bit lethargic and refusing to eat by this point. 

I mentioned his stimky breath, and the vet leaned into him for a sniff and immediately called for a blood chemistry panel. She said bad breath is a sign of kidney disease. 😱 

I had no idea! We’ve been using the oral gel and it worked to get rid of his bad breath but only temporarily. We had to keep using it or the stink would come back. 

He was such a good boy during his physical checkup, getting his blood drawn and getting dewormed. His CREA and BUN levels were hella elevated. A sign of kidney problems but it could have been affected by other factors like dehydration. And he was dehydrated. So she urged us to get an SDMA test, which is directly related to kidney function and isn’t influenced by anything else. Sure enough, the test showed his kidneys are impaired. 

I thought we were just about ready to go and I was just waiting for the print out of all the lab results and for the vet to write up the prescriptions when I was asked to go back into the exam room.

What I saw was hella terrifying. Romeo was hooked up to this machine and there were so many cables. I thought he had crashed and was dying! Turns out he was just having his blood pressure measured. The band that went around his arm was so tiny. He seemed so fragile in that moment. His BP was high at first, but the second time it was normal. Could have been just the stress of being at the vet. But there’s also a possibility of it being comorbid with the kidney disease.

He was prescribed nefrotec tablet to be taken 3x a day. It’s supposed to make him pee more to help him get rid of body waste. His kidneys aren’t functioning properly and so the waste builds up in his blood instead. He absolutely refused to take them when I gave them by hand. So I got a pill inserter to help. It worked the first time... and only the first time. Now I crush the tablet and cover it up with tons of yummy wet ciao treat and now he goes bananas for medicine time. 

He’s also taking antibiotics for his bum wound. He’s a champ at taking it directly by oral syringe. He also doesn’t make too much of a fuss when I clean and apply ointment to his bum. He can take off the velcro e-collar within two minutes of me putting it on him. So I got a different collar that is secured by buttons. It’s better at preventing him from taking it off, but he still did manage to slip out of it once by wedging himself into a tight space, getting the cone stuck, and then backing out of the cone. I only make him wear it about 30 mins after wound treatment to give it a chance to dry. It’s almost completely healed now. 

I spent that whole first night after the vet visit reading up on CKD (chronic kidney disease). I looked up the official guidelines and his levels actually indicate stage 3 kidney disease. Moderately impaired renal function. Not quite kidney failure but way too fucking close to that for my liking.

The vet didn’t mention making dietary changes and/or a urinalysis. And she said I had to take Romeo back a week after for retesting to monitor his levels. But that seems like way too soon especially when his meds were prescribed for 14 days.

The SDMA test is also really fucking expensive. It’s Php 1,500. The full blood chemistry panel was Php 2,400. Because we had both done, there was a discount and both tests were Php 3,500. For the retesting though, Romeo would need the SDMA test again and only two components for the blood chem, CREA and BUN, which are Php 350 each. I also think he should get his phosphorus level checked, but the vet didn’t mention it. 

I’m worried about his belly being a bit large. He’s got a visible waist still, so I don’t know if that’s just his primordial pouch or if he’s got some swelling or fluid buildup on the inside. I might take him to the full animal hospital to get an ultrasound/x-ray and a urinalysis. Our regular vet doesn’t have an ultrasound/x-ray machine.

What’s stressing me out a lot is not being able to feed him a specially formulated renal diet which is supposed to slow the progression of CKD. They’re just way too expensive. There’s also just not a lot of options here. There’s only hill’s and royal canin. We’re just going to have to make do with Special Cat Urinary which has okay ingredients and a phosphorus content that’s lower than other non-prescription cat food. Not as low as what our goal should be, but it should still help his kidneys a bit. It’s Php 1,200 for a 7kg bag compared to our usual food that’s only Php 870 per 7kg. I’m not sure if I should be feeding it to the other cats as well. The ingredients are actually better than our current dry food. The protein content is actually higher and the first ingredient is chicken instead of cereals.

I still wonder if there would be any benefit to doing the expensive renal diet even if for two weeks just to get his levels under control.

I’m feeding Romeo more wet food now and less kibbles so he can get more moisture. Given the choice, he prefers dry food, but that’s not doing him any good so I’m limiting his dry food intake. He’s also much more energetic. I’m really scared about what his levels would be when we do retest. But we’re just taking it day by day right now.

See his paw in the cone. This was taken in the car at the end of our vet visit. We hadn’t even left for home yet and he was already working on his escape. 😂

[losingitinjersey]

While my house has been decorated for the last 15 days I finally got around to posting pictures of it!  Although, I did just get my tree decorated on Saturday so that feels nice to have it all done.  Yesterday I set up some timers for both the mantel garland and the tree so when I wake up and come home from work the house is already happily lit :)  

Saturday was a blur of productivity followed by my going way outside of my comfort zone and attending a party where I, obviously, couldn’t drink to curb my social anxiety.  The party didn’t start until 7:30 p.m. (SO LATE for this old pregnant gal), and the parking garage closest to her condo was full so I had to park at one three blocks further away.  No biggie.  I go to the party and end up having a really great time even though I didn’t know anyone.  Going in, I told myself I’d leave by 9 p.m. but my phone was in my purse and my purse was in the corner so by the time I asked someone what time it was it was already 10:30 p.m.  !!  I excuse myself to leave, walk out with some new friends and end up walking along with them to their car before turning around and walking back towards the parking garage.  I’m taking a different route due to leaving with others but am sure I know where I’m going even though Google Maps is telling me otherwise.  I end up walking an extra 15 minutes longer than I should have due to my directionally challenged self and finally find the parking garage.  

By this point, my feet are killing me, I should have peed before I left and I’m ready to sit down now.  I finally find the parking garage and there’s these drunk 50 year olds in the garage telling me I can’t take the elevator because it’s stuck.  I take a big breath before marching towards the stairs and they’re kind of mocking me? Until one of the women yells at the other three that “guys, she has a baby!”  then one of the guys tells me to hop on his back as I smile politely and make my way up the four flights of stairs.  I then walk around to where my car should be and my car is not where I thought it was.  UGH.  I end up walking around level three, four and five and finally find my car.  Needless to say, I was exhausted and sore Sunday and ended up taking a nap and resting most of the day.  

On Monday I had my 36 week appointment and they ended up taking my blood pressure three times because it was slightly higher than normal.  I have to go back on Wednesday to have it checked again and collect my urine for 24 hours on Sunday before coming back to the clinic again on Monday (oh joy).  Hopefully my bp is better tomorrow but we’ll see!  I’m glad they’re taking precautions but I’m also trying not to worry.  Both Kevin and my mom don’t seem concerned, so that’s helping.  

Thankfully, we did an ultrasound and Erp is looking great!  She’s measuring in the 33rd percentile for size and she’s roughly 6lbs right now.  They said she’s measuring exactly on track for 36 weeks and everything is looking normal.  We also got some updated pictures of her and it’s crazy to get to see kind of what she looks like?!?!  

Slowly making my way through this work week and putting my swollen feet up when I can.  I’m now wearing compression socks almost 24/7 and I also started taking Unisom this week to help me get some better sleep.  

I’m excited to be staying home for Christmas this year and having an intimate holiday at home with my husband and cat.  First time ever we’re celebrating just the two of us and not traveling.  While I’ll miss seeing family and friends I’m really looking forward to a slow, happy, special day together.  

[veteran-shipper]

Voltron’s Anatomy

part 2 of ???

so i realize that doing all how-many-bajillion episodes of grey’s anatomy is an improbable task. i’ll probably be mixing and matching episodes because ain’t nobody got time for that, least of all me. plus, let’s be real. we were really only in it for Der and Mer’s Epic Love Story. 

alternatively titled: never air to breathe (never inbetweens).

Pidge slams her locker shut in frustration. “I have got to move out from my parents’ place,” she announces, yanking viciously at her shoelaces. 

“What’s up?” Hunk asks, his forehead creased with concern. 

“Nothing,” she says. “I’m just sick and tired of all the tension because my brother Matt has been MIA. It feels like I’ve been walking on eggshells ever since I moved back for residency. They’re being overprotective, and as much as I understand, I’m a god damn adult, and I can handle the shifts I signed on for. The fact that they also work here is literally my worst nightmare. I can’t believe I agreed to come back.” 

“Why don’t you move into my place, then?” Keith suggests, shrugging his white coat on. “I have the space.”

“I thought you were trying to sell it?” Hunk says, mildly surprised. “What changed?”

Keith shrugs. “I just never got around to it. Plus, I moved back here, didn’t I? Might as well keep it around and get some roommates. It’s practically a family heirloom at this point. What do you say? I’ll keep rent reasonable.”

“I’ll think about it,” Pidge says with a shrug. 

“Sure, just let me know whenever. I have two rooms up for grabs if you want in, too, Hunk,” Keith adds. 

“It would be nice to be in a full house again,” Hunk says wistfully. “I’ve basically been crashing on my uncle’s couch since moving here from Hawaii.” 

The three of them approach Altea for their assignments of the day. Altea’s eyes narrow. “Where’s Lance?” she asks. Keith shoves his hands in his coat pockets and shrugs. 

“Dr. Altea! Sorry to keep you waiting!” Lance skids to a stop, just barely keeping a tray of coffees from tipping over. “I brought you a coffee--mocha, soy, just the way you like it.” 

Altea looks slightly mollified as she plucks the coffee out of the tray. “Thank you, Lance, but next time, apologize by being on time,” she says dryly. “You’re on code team. Keith, take the trauma pager. Pidge, deliver the weekend lab results to their patients. Hunk, you’re on sutures.” She turns on her heels and starts to walk away. 

“Dr. Altea!” Lance says, stopping her in her tracks. “I was wondering if I could assist you in the OR today? I think I’m ready. You know, for a minor procedure or something like that.” 

“Hey! If he gets to cut, I want to cut, too!” Pidge says, elbowing Lance out of the way.

“Me too!” Keith interjects. 

Hunk gulps. “Yeah, I guess,” he adds lamely.

“Okay, stop.” Altea puts her hands on her hips, eyes blue steel. “Every intern wants a chance to perform their first surgery. But that’s not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make me happy. Do I look happy? No, because my interns aren’t doing the jobs I told them to do. Nobody gets to even touch a cadaver until I think you’re ready, understand?” 

“Yes ma’am,” the interns mumble collectively. 

“Now move!” Altea makes a shooing motion with her hands, and the interns scatter off to their various jobs. “Vrepit Sal’s Dead Baby Bike Race starts in six hours and I need my weekend labs run and my code team staffed!”

Shiro was idly tapping on his phone when he spots Keith pressing the button for the elevator. Pocketing his phone, he saunters as casually as he can until he’s within an arm’s length of Keith’s shoulder. “I didn’t know you rode a bike,” he says in Keith’s ear, trying for casual. 

“Doesn’t everyone?” Keith asks, not diverting his attention away from the ticker. 

“No, I mean, a motorbike--a motorcycle,” Shiro backtracks with an internal grimace. The elevator dings, signalling its arrival. Ah, saved by the bell, he thinks to himself. “I have one, too. Never expected Nevada to be such a good place to go for a late night ride.” 

Keith tries to suppress his smile as the elevator’s occupants file out. He and Shiro get on together and stand side by side as they wait for the doors to close. Shiro continues to ramble. “Now I have to like it here. I’m from Seattle. I’m not supposed to like how dry and deserted it is here. I have a thing for motorcycles,” he finishes lamely as the doors close and the serene elevator music starts up. 

“I’m not going out with you,” Keith says to break the monotony of the music.

“Did I ask you do go out with me?” Shiro mentally palms himself in the face. Yes you did, you idiot, he chastises himself. “Do you want to go out with me?”

“I’m not dating you,” Keith reiterates. “And I’m definitely not sleeping with you again. You’re my boss.” 

“I’m your boss’ boss,” Shiro corrects before he can help himself. Idiot! That makes nothing better, his inner monologue whacks him over the head. 

“Regardless, this is inappropriate,” Keith says firmly. “This is grounds for sexual harassment.”

 Shiro turns to face him. “I’m riding an elevator,” he says mildly. 

“Don’t come any closer,” Keith says, a flush riding high on his cheeks, clashing horribly with the orange scrubs. 

“Red’s a good closer on you,” Shiro says, and closes the gap between them, tangling one hand in Keith’s hair, dislodging the little pony tail, and wrapping the other around his waist. Keith flips their positions and pushes Shiro against the elevator wall, smashing his charts haphazardly between their chests as he fights to get closer to Shiro’s mouth. He reaches up to tug Shiro down by the back of his neck, biting gently on his bottom lip, gasping softly at the feel of the cool metal of the prosthetic sliding lower and playing with the waistband of his thin scrubs. 

Just as Shiro’s about to go for the full on ass grab, the elevator dings, and they hastily break apart, Keith’s files spilling onto the floor between the two of them. 

“Oh fuck,” Keith rasps, gathering up the files as quickly as he can and marching off to see his patients. Shiro’s gaze follows him, dazed and forlorn as nurses and other hospital staff file in, none the wiser.

Keith walks into a room filled with nurses and PAs rushing around, a hand absentmindedly on his bottom lip, mind a million floors away with Dr. Shirogane. 

“There you are!” A harried looking PA comes into his field of view. “We’ve got a rape victim. She came in with a GCS of six, BP eighty over sixty. Exam is significant for blunt head trauma, unequal breath sounds, right pupil is dilated. We think she ran right into the bike race,” he rattles off. “She’s ready for x-ray. You ready to roll?” 

Keith blankly surveys the room, taking in the blood on the body, the ruined shoes that haven’t yet been bagged, and--

“Hey!”

“Is that a penis?” Keith asks, peering into the kidney tray. It’s resting on ice, and definitely looking worse for wear. “Yeah/ Call ahead to CT. Let them know I’m coming. Load a portable monitor, and call Respiratory for a ventilator,” he orders, checking her eyes himself and her breathing tube. “I’ll do x-rays while I’m down there.”

The PA grunts in amusement. “Tough lady. Bit it right off. We found it in her mouth.”

“What a warrior,” Keith murmurs softly, checking her chart.

He takes responsibility over her and follows her from her scans into emergency surgery, where he and a couple of the less busy interns observe as Shirogane, Iverson, and Coran work to set her bones back in place and fix the internal bleeding. Shirogane lets out a low whistle as he works on setting her arm. “He really did a number on her. What is she? Five foot two, not even a hundred pounds?”

“Yeah, she’s going to spend a helluva time in recovery,” Coran says, jovial as always. “Really gave him a good walloping, though. Clearly a case of ‘You should see the other guy.’ I heard the rape kit came back negative.” 

“She bit his penis off,” Keith offers. “It was in a kidney dish when I went to go get her for scans.” 

The three attendings heads swivel to look at him, their hands never stopping their work. “What in tarnation?” Iverson says, incredulous. 

“Jesus,” Coran says. “Well, if she can fight off the infection, she can fight off anything.”

They start to close on the patient, and before Keith can slip out to round, he hears Iverson call his name. Or, more accurately, his “designated Intern number assigned by the one-and-only Coran.”

“Intern number 3!” Keith pauses. “I need you to stay with the penis until the police arrive. Chain of custody rules, and all,” he barks. 

Keith blanches. “Seriously?” he asks, looking at the small cooler they’d placed the severed body part in.

“That’s an order, intern!” Iverson says, pulling closed a stitch. Keith sighs and grabs the cooler before exiting. 

Over at the HUB, Pidge sorts through the labs while Lance toys with his pager and gloats about his assignment.

“Code team rocks,” he says with a smug grin. “One minute I get to shock a heart back to life, and the next minute I have my arms full of grateful daughters and sisters.”

Pidge stacks a lab report a little harder than necessary on top of her growing stack. “You know, I have an MD/PhD from Stanford, and I’m delivering patient labs. This is going to take me all day,” she says, annoyed.

Altea whisks by briskly. “Better get started then!” she says, sipping daintily at her mocha latte. “Lance, with me!” she says. “I need as many hands as I can find, and since you’re not doing anything, you’re going to help me wade through this disaster coming in.” Lance’s expression brightens and he hurries after her, pager beeping.

“Oh! Uh, I wasn’t complaining,” Pidge says weakly, grabbing her stack of labs and hurrying off. If she's fast enough, she decides, she might be able to put staples in someone’s wound.

Cooler in hand, Keith runs into the ER just in time to see multiple stretchers being brought in. “Keith!” Altea says. “Excellent timing! I need you to help Hunk with some suturing and debridement in beds four through 8! What is that?” she asks, pointing at the the cooler. 

“I’m babysitting a penis until the police get here,” Keith says, already moving towards bed four, where Hunk is dealing with a particularly rowdy bicyclist who didn’t seem particularly interested in staying for x-rays.

Along the way, he sees Shiro, sitting with his unconscious patient, flipping through her chart, though he chooses not to stop in favor of setting the cooler down and grabbing a suture kit. 

“Sir, I highly recommend that you stay for X-rays,” Hunk says, a firm hand on the bicyclist’s shoulder. 

“What? No! I need to get back to the race!”

“Sir, please,” Hunk says again. “You might have internal bleeding. I don’t feel comfortable taking those bike spokes out until you’ve had a thorough check up.”

His patient rolls his eyes. Then, he grits his teeth and, before Hunk and Keith can do any more than exclaim in alarm, grasps the bike spokes, pulling all four of them out with a grunt. “See?” he says, with a ta-dah wave of his hands. “No swooning, no fainting. I’m fine.”

Hunk shakes his head, holding a kidney tray for him to place the metal spikes. “Keith, this guy’s all yours. I’m going to move on to the next one.”

“Ah! Hunk!” Coran catches Hunk before he can check on the brain dead guy in bed 5. “Just the doctor I wanted to see! I’m going to be stuck in the OR all day today doing repairs, and I need someone I can rely on to check on my pre- and post-op patients. Can you do that for me?” 

“Uh, yes sir!” Hunk says.

“Oh, and one of them, Mr. Mackie, is a good friend of mine. Make sure you get him everything he needs.”

“Got it,” Hunk says, leaving Keith behind to deal with the victims of the race.

Keith sutures Impatient Biker Dude closed and is smoothing the bandage over the area when he opens his mouth to speak.

“Hey, you’ve got a really nice touch, and you are a rockin’ babe. Why don’t you let me take you out sometime?”

“Excuse me?” Keith raises an eyebrow but otherwise tries not to let his annoyance show and turns to grab his patient’s chart. “I don’t date my patients. If you insist on leaving, you’ll be doing so against the doctor’s orders, so you’ll have to sign this form saying that you understand the consequences.”

“Darling, I will do what ever you want,” he purrs, taking the form. “I have to get back to the race.”

“Look,” Keith tries again. “One CT scan. You’ll be in and out in thirty minutes.” 

“No can do, babe,” his patient says again, handing the form back. “I’ve got a race to finish.” He swings his legs over the side of the hospital bed and gets up. “There’s a party at the end, you know,” he says. “Maybe I’ll see you there?” 

Keith rolls his eyes and turns away, only to feel a hand grab him by the waist and spin him around. He feels his patient’s lips meet his and pull him into a deep lip lock, and he freezes, indignation bubbling up behind his rib cage. “What the fuck?” he demands once his patient lets him go. 

“One for luck,” he says with a jaunty wave and a wink. “You’ll be seeing me again soon.”

“For your sake, I hope you don’t!”

He whirls around, and accidentally makes eye contact with Shirogane, whose eyes look filled with hurt. Shiro gets up from his station near his comatose patient and intercepts Keith before he can get to Mr. Brain Dead in bed 5. With dismay, he watches as Lance and Altea start the next round of tests on him.

“What was that?” Shiro demands. “Are you kissing patients now?”

“For the record, he kissed me, and I definitely did not want to kiss that guy.” Keith tries to move onto bed 6, but Shiro blocks his way. “Oh come on! Dr. Shirogane, are you jealous? This is highly unprofessional.”

“I am not jealous!” The faint flush across the bridge of his nose bringing out his scar says otherwise. “Go out with me,” he says instead. 

“No! You’re my boss! It’s against the rules.” Keith signs off on the chart. “We had sex once and we made out in an elevator once. That’s not going to happen again.” Keith tries again to move to bed 6, wanting the conversation to end.

Lance and Altea are debating over what they should do with Brain Dead. 

“I think we should harvest his organs,” Altea says. 

“What?” Lance exclaims. “He has a family!”

“Great!” Altea says cheerily. “Find them, and get their consent.”

“What? No! Come on, he’s got six hours.”

“Okay, fine,” Altea says decisively. “We’ll let the family make the decision.”

Lance narrows his eyes. “You just want a harvest surgery.” 

“Don’t you?” Altea asks. 

“I--” Lance throws his hands up, conflicted.

“Dr. Shirogane!” Altea motions for Shiro to come take a look. 

“Just a minute!” he says normally, before lowering his voice again. “‘It’s against the rules?’ You don’t take me as a by-the-books kind of guy,” he says to Keith.

“Look, you’re an attending. I’m your intern. Unlike you, I still have something to prove. Now, I really need to get to Ms. Ho before she bleeds out.” Keith puts a hand on Shiro’s upper arm and pushes him towards Bed 5. “Go deal with Mr. Brain Dead.”

Pidge finishes with her lab deliveries just in time to watch as a car screeches into the front of the hospital, and a man stumble out of the driver’s side covered in blood from the waist down. She catches a nurse by the arm. “Get a stretcher--he’s hurt!” she orders, and motions two other nurses to come help her get him inside and onto the waiting stretcher. They get him hooked up to a heart rate monitor and a breathing tube before cutting him out of his clothes. “Oh my God!” she yelps, looking at the bloody mess of his groin. “Somebody call security!”

She ends up getting to observe the surgery that Iverson performs on the bloody John Doe. 

“Medicine’s a funny business,” he comments as he cauterizes a blood vessel. “One minute you get to save the life of someone who fought off an attack, and the next, you’re trying to save the life of the attacker. Intern, why aren’t we trying to reattached this penis?” he barks at Pidge.

“Teeth tear, but reattachments need clean cuts. If she’d taken a knife to his penis, he might still be able to save it, but since she bit it off, plus the digestive enzymes in the mouth, there’s no way he’s ever going to get to pee like a normal person again,” she says, trying to keep the smugness out of her voice.

“Hmm, a moment of silence for this poor guy,” Iverson says, rolling his eyes unsympathetically, cauterizing the final blood vessel. Pidge can’t help but agree. Good riddance. 

As Vrepit Sal’s Dead Baby Bike Race ends, so does the endless stream of injured bikers, and the interns finally get a chance to trudge wearily back to the locker rooms to freshen up and change into a fresh set of scrubs. 

“I need a bed,” Pidge moans, lying on a bench in the locker rooms wearing just her sports bra. “Or a drink and a massage. Or a drunken massage on a bed.” She sits up with groan and starts wrestling her scrub top back over her head.

“I lost five patients today on the code team,” Lance moans at his reflection. 

“Lance, ninety-five percent of code patients can’t be revived. They’re seriously dead before you even get there.” 

“What?” Lance exclaims. “Why didn’t you tell me that?”

“Because,” Pidge says loftily. “I’m Pidge, and you’re Lance.”

Hunk trudges in, looking somewhat disgruntled. “Mr. Mackie won’t stop hitting on me, and I don’t know how to tell him I’m not interested. He’s Coran’s VIP, for crying out loud.” He sits down heavily next to Pidge. “At least we found a match for him.” 

“Oh yeah? Who?” Lance asks, splashing water onto his face.

“Oh, just some brain dead guy from earlier. When I told him, he cried and then tried to ask me out again.”

“Nice!” Lance gives Hunk a fist bump. “That was Allura and my’s first patient together!”

“Allura? Since when did she start letting you call her Allura?”

“Oh, she hasn’t. I just call her that in my head.”

“A patient kissed me today,” Keith announces, moodily playing with the handle of the cooler. “I wish I’d shown him the severed penis just to freak him out, but I didn’t think about that until it was too late. Plus, I don’t think it would have stopped him.”

Hunk makes a noise of sympathy. Lance, ever the incorrigible romantic, asks, “And what did Shiro think of that?” 

“He asked me out again.” 

Pidge groans. “Men,” she says. “They think they can just get away with anything.”

Lance, Hunk, and Keith all make indignant noises. 

“I got to watch Iverson cauterize the penis of a rapist today,” she continues as if they hadn’t said anything. “Simultaneously the best and the worst thing I’ve seen today, and I had to endure twenty-seven patients’ family members hug me with joy.” 

“Aw come on!” Lance interjects. “I should’ve gotten that job! I love hugs!”

“Does that mean I’m finally going to get to not babysit a penis anymore?” Keith asks, perking up at the thought. 

“Keith, it’s 2AM. They’re not sending someone over at 2AM.”

Keith drops his head into his hands and groans. “Fuck me,” he mutters.

“I mean, since you asked so nicely,” Lance starts. Pidge sticks her foot out and trips him.

“Thanks, Pidge.”

“Any time, bud.”

When Keith passes by the unconscious patient again in the morning, Shiro is still there and he looks like he hasn’t slept. He has, however, moved to the HUB, where he can simultaneously keep an eye on the patient and work on charting on the computer. Keith sets the penis cooler down on the counter. “Have you been here all night?”

“Yeah.” Shiro barely spares him a glance, and he rubs at the scar across the bridge of his nose. “You know, I grew in a family of all boys. All brothers. I can’t imagine what it’s like to not have anyone waiting for me when I wake up.”

“I can,” Keith says. Shiro looks up at him then, and stands to go make himself a cup of coffee, eyes soft.

“So,” he says, coming back with two paper cups of the hospital’s cheap free brew. “We’re kissing, but we’re not dating?”

Keith made a sound of annoyance. “I knew this would come up,” he says, accepting one of the cups.

“Don’t get me wrong, I like the kissing. More kissing, any day, I say,” Shiro says. 

Keith rolls his eyes, taking a sip of his coffee. “You sound like Coran,” he teases.

“I just want to know if this is going to happen again in the future. If it is, I’m gonna need to carry around breath mints. Maybe a,” Shiro lowers his voice, “condom in my wallet?”

“Shut up,” Keith whispers back, finishing off his coffee. Together, they stare at the patient in silence. All the monitors start beeping at once, and Keith and Shiro immediately move into action, calling for nurses and equipment.

“Prepare for an emergency craniotomy!” Shiro yells at a nearby nurse, who nods. Together, they mobilize the hospital bed into the OR, and Keith waits anxiously outside until Shiro’s done, looking more worn than ever. 

“We had to leave the top of her skull flap off,” he tells Keith. “Until the swelling in her brain goes down.”

Keith sighs. “She’s not going to make it is she?” he asks. 

“She’ll be fine,” Shiro replies, with a soft smile. “Come on. You have rounds. Don’t forget your penis.”

Keith sighs, shooting the cooler a look of distaste. “I just want the damn police to show up already,” he says in annoyance, heading back toward the HUB to catch up on some charting.

As soon as he reaches the HUB, however, a nurse motions him over. “The police have arrived to take custody of the evidence,” she tells him pointing over to where two uniformed men stand.

“Oh sweet! Thanks, Nyma,” he says, making his way over to the cops standing near the water cooler. “Hello sirs, I’m Dr. Kogane. I hear you’re here to collect my penis?”

The two cops look distinctly uncomfortable for a split second, before one of them notices the cooler in Keith’s hand. “Oh! Yeah, you just need to sign a couple of forms, and we’ll be out of your hair,” he says.

Keith gladly takes the paperwork and fills it out, handing both the forms and the cooler over to the cops. He runs into Pidge and Hunk halfway through rounds and they both give him high fives when they realize he’s no longer holding onto the penis cooler any more.

“Hey, so about those rooms,” Pidge says. “I’m in.”

“Yeah, me too,” Hunk adds. “I think I’m ready to give up my uncle’s couch.”

“Oh okay, cool,” Keith says. “I just need to get a few copies of my key made for you guys, and then you can move in whenever.” 

Pidge and Hunk cheer loudly and get shushed by Mrs. Cobb in bed 9.