#because it's always such a process. Instead of one thing of dye I need literally like 4 lol. etc.

[dreamdripdistance]

I'll always love a good Dizz tag rant about how much plastic fabrics suck ass <3

FVDSHKFBHDSUGDEWHJKFBZXJK im glad i have a brand!!! because like if someone doesnt need polyester for a specific purpose for its specific properties, why WOULD you prefer it over a natural fibre for an everyday use????

like. ethically sourced leather (which is a byproduct of the meat industry, cows are always going to be killed or will die for one reason or another, wasting their skin when it could instead be a Really good textile is STUPID and ILLOGICAL) or wool (something that will always be available as long as sheep roam this earth, and DOES NOT harm the animal and actually is integral to their survival!!) or cotton or linen or silk or whatever will always be a better, more ethical and healthier choice!!!!!

like just off the top of my head, linen is always going to be a better choice for bedding than anything else, especially in the way its literally a Stronger textile when wet, and its breathablity and antibacterial properties. all things you want when using and caring for your bedding????

cotton is GREAT for underwear and clothing kept close to the skin because of its breathablity. by the fucking way, ppl with vaginas? if youre wearing polyester underwear Every Day, i hope you know youre literally just inflicting yeast infections upon yourself??? like wearing cute lacy undies is great once in a while, but pleaaaaase. wear (loose fitting) cotton underwear to sleep, especially.

and also, wool is the greatest insulator that you could possibly get, and is key to making sure you dont also sweat (which can be dangerous and also gross even when its extremely cold), and is a great thing to use in your doonas if you can afford it (WHICH I CANT AND I CRY EVERY TIME)

like, yeah theres ethical issues regarding natural textiles, like leather dyeing processes (and that its an animal byproduct, which im not gonna talk about indepth bc idgaf), and the historically (and currently) evil practices being used to farm cotton, and the widespread fast fashion-ification of Everything rn even with natural textile garments.

but like. think about it in comparison to the mass manufacture and discarding of polyester fabrics, and the microplastics going loose in every single wash, and how polyester waste is literally just PLASTIC waste, so when your PU leather coat disintegrates, thats just going to go in the bin, where as a coat made of real leather is going to last for however as long as you can keep it conditioned and protected from damage (which can be fucking DECADES)

also, synthetics are Fine. like they have a time and place especially in the medical field and in situations where you reaaaally dont want anything coming in or out of what youre wearing. nylon was fucking revolutionary as the first entirely synthetic textile so like. i dont hate polyester? but again it has a time and place!!!

like, polyester is cheap as fuck, and if polyester or "cotton rich" (aka poly blend) bedding or clothing is all you can afford or find, then cool! im sorry about that, but i have no qualms about it! ive bought polyester clothing, like, my work pants are all polyester, because they were the cheapest dress pants i could get at kmart that were my size after trying and failing to find smth in an op shop! but like !!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUGHGHGHGHHGHGHGHGHHHHH IF SOMEONE HAS THE MEANS TO BUY ACTUAL LEATHER (WITH NO QUALMS WITH REAL LEATHER OR W/E) AND THEN GOES TO DROP HUNDREDS ON A PU LEATHER (AKA PLASTIC) COAT, IM GONNA MAUL THEM!!!!!

anyways in conclusion, as i always say:

[livelist]

I’m genuinely confused by your take. I looked and couldnt find if you feel this is a direct response to a previous post you made? But Ive been seeing various people talk shit about plastic surgery lately, so I’m going to assume that they werent actually trying to target you with this post.

But there is as big of a plastic surgery industry making people look whiter as there is to make people look blacker. It absolutely goes both ways.

Which is fucked up as hell. Its really terrible that women are pressured to hate their bodies, especially racialized characteristics. And its horrible that certain features are exoticized and sexualized and become seen as desirable through that process.

But I genuinely dont see how anyone can disagree with the points these fine people made. And that people have the right to control their own bodies, period. These points, that insurance blocks medically necessary surgery, that trans care is often conflated with "cosmetic", and that bodily autonomy is paramount, stand on their own.

I dont think anyone is saying plastic surgery is a universal good. But people have the right to change their bodies. Nobody should feel like they HAVE to! But we let people punch holes and inject dye into their skin in the pursuit of aesthetic results. Modifying our bodies has always been a means of self-expression in every single culture in the world. As a trans masc, I know that the rituals women feel pressured to undertake in the name of being seen as even just presentable can be horribly oppressive. But I also know that these same rituals can be vehicles of self-liberation as self-expression is one of our basic human needs. It is very much a part of the female condition to have incredibly difficult and complex relationships to hair, clothes, and makeup. Simultaneously unable to fully reject or fully embrace. It's deeply human.

Maybe I’m just an ignorant white person, but I think that we can absolutely hate the racialized nature of plastic surgery without demonizing the practice as a whole. I also think we should hesitate before we imply that certain traits belong to certain races. I know it would be aggnonizing if a trait that I was told to change for decades was suddenly being sold at top dollar. But I am quite nervous about the idea that its wrong for white women to get bigger butts or boobs because its a "black thing." Would that mean its fine for a small black woman to do it but not a small white woman? Is it okay for a big boobed white woman to get a reduction for her back and general comfort, but a black woman doing so is somehow betraying her race and not loving herself enough?

Obviously there are extremes and there are edge cases. Its easy to look at something like double eyelid surgery or skin bleaching and see how fucked up and racist this industry is.

But we also know that it is true that there is a huge push right now to make trans medical care literally illegal. Trans people are currently being detransitioned because laws were changed. That is hugely relevant and cannot be ignored. That is not something that was happening even a year ago. So yeah, I do think its an incredibly valid concern that we need to be on the side of informed consent and bodily autonomy when it comes to procedures that many would deem to be "elective." While we as a global society should all work to reduce racism in ourselves and our communities, that should not mean reducing our ability to self-express.

We all know that those with power will continue to have access to any and all proceedures that they want. And creating more and more hoops and restrictions and barriers, however well-meaning, will always serve to impeed the marginalized more than the privileged. Just like outlawing abortion makes it inaccessible to the poor but the rich can still access it. Just like rules against censorship are passed under the guise of stopping hate but instead are used to prevent marginalized people from organizing for political and societal change while leaving hate unaffected. Just like how in Florida, SB 254 is written as if its going to stop child predators, but we all know it will not stop a single pedophile, it is designed to stop both trans kids and trans parents from accessing trans care.

Outlawing medical procedures does not make them stop, it simply pushes them to sketchier and sketchier ways of happening.

Anyway. I genuinely would like to learn about your perspective. How do you think that we can have mature conversations about racism in plastic and cosmetic surgery in a way that will not be used to limit genuine medical care? Have I misunderstood your point in any ways? How can I, as a white person, continue to have this conversation in a way that won't hurt women of color? I hope I havent mistepped and I honestly hope to discuss how things can be improved for everyone. I hope our conversation can remain nuanced. Thank you for sharing. ☮️💗☯️

can you tell theres no black people in this post

[meltingpotimagines]

Husband!Hawks

this mans

is not husband material

but!

for the right girl? he may be willing to play the part

listen, mans may not be a simp but he is cHARMING okay? he got potential

besides he’s lowkey a simp for the right girl but whatever

was very romantic when he proposed

managed to rent out an entire park perks of being the #2 hero

decked out a gazebo with fairy lights, candles, and rose petals

considered making a heart with the rose petals but decided just scattering them around would be classier and less cheesy

set up a picnic with a basket f u l l of food

sandwiches, cheese, fruit, desserts, the works

and ofc a bottle of champagne bc tonight you two would be celebrating

or so he hoped

you wouldn’t say no right?

i mean who could say no to that gorgeous face pHEW

pulled out the ring box right as you swallowed the last of the macaron you’d been nibbling on

his heart sped up as your eyes widened, a breathless ‘keigo’ escaping your lips

“i know you might not be ready, but the more i get to know you, the more i realize that i don’t want to live the rest of my life without you. you’re the girl of my dreams, and i never want to wake up. would you marry me?”

“are you s t u p i d? ofc i will!”

his grin has never been as bright as it was at that moment

slipped the ring onto your finger and immediately pulled you into his arms and took off into the air

slowed your assent as you two soared above the clouds and spun around, unable to contain his joy

gazed at your face with those golden eyes, taking in your beauty, before giving you the sweetest, most tender kiss you’ve ever felt

oh boy the wedding

when i tell you this was an e v e n t i mean anyone who was anyone wanted to go to this wedding

but only those that were close to the two of you were invited

haha suckerrrs

somehow got all might to officiate

who knew all might could officiate weddings? 

certainly neither of you

no one really knows how that decision came to be but i mean no one was complaining either so

he let you make all the decisions except for one

the flowers

he h a d to be involved in the flowers

he appreciates pretty flora and if the bouquets and floral arrangements at his wedding weren’t the prettiest possible he would n o t be satisfied

teared up as you walked down the aisle (which he will neither confirm nor deny)

not that he wasn’t lookin’ mighty fine too

just imagine: tan suit with a black button up and a gold tie, gold cufflinks with a ruby set in each

i know those are his costume colors but he looks good in them so y’all can fight me

dipped you for your first kiss as husband and wife to everyone’s amusement

best believe a few different cameras caught that

the timing of the wedding was planned out so the reception was held at night

semi-sheer white tents and custom black ten-feet tall candelabras

the soft glow from the candles combined with the moonlight made for the perfect dreamy vibe 

he managed to find a florist that could dye white roses black and cover them them with a thin layer of gold glitter

was it necessary? no

did it look good? heck yeah

the gold glitter shined beautifully against the black roses

tho

the way your eyes sparkled as you danced with him was far more captivating

you two had flown up into the sky to dance your first dance together

your silhouettes against the bright moon made for a perfect picture

the only reason you ended up coming down was because neither of you had eaten much that day and a guy’s gotta eat

he gonna need stamina later *winky face*

you cannot convince me the man wouldn’t insist on fried chicken

like a whole buffet table of different flavors

but i mean fried chicken is good so can’t blame him

everyone expected him to smear some cake on your face when he fed you that first piece

instead wiped off the frosting that got on your lips with his thumb and licked it off

your best friend caught t h a t one on camera and will never stop teasing you about how flustered you got

he kept up a great image of a polite host but on the inside he was ready to g o

it had been a long day and he was ready love on his wife

heh

wife

he likes the sound of that

peppers your face with kisses on the ride home

yeah yeah i know h o n e y m o o n but where y’all were goin’ was forever away and mans just wants to shower you with affection as soon as possible (esp considering he had to keep his hands off you all day since you two never had a moment alone)

scoops you up the second you’re out of the car and carries you over the threshold

gives you a soft kiss before putting you down

and that’s the last soft kiss you’re gonna get for the night lolllll

definitely the type to make you breakfast in the morning

also the type to cook in nothing but an apron and boxers but anyway

you better be up in time to see that sight bc if not, you’re getting breakfast in bed not that i’d complain

he’s not the best cook but mans can manage some bacon and eggs

plus some fresh fruit bc it makes it more visually appealing and less like he doesn’t really know how to cook

he set the tray on your lap and climbs back into bed, pulling you into his side so your head can rest on his chest as you two munch on breakfast

there’s something so soothing about the sound of his heartbeat

a soft little rhythm that nearly puts you back the sleep

didn’t help that he was unconsciously running his fingertips along your arm, drawing random squiggles and shapes

will tilt your head up by the chin every so often to give you a little peck on the lips

if you do fall asleep, he’ll just gaze at you softly while lightly tracing your features

still can’t process that you’re married

someone actually loved him enough to marry him

there was someone that didn’t just admire or use him bc of his quirk

didn’t give him attention purely bc he’s the number 2 hero

you saw all his flaws and shortcomings and insecurities and loved him regardless

if he’s dreaming, please don’t wake him up

you cleaning him wings for him is something he loves so much

it’s such an intimate task that makes him feel cared for

loved

how much time you take in cleaning them and how tenderly you handle each wing

it’s one of his favorite ways to spend time with you

it’s nice being taken care of for once, esp when he’s always taking care of others

absolutely loves taking you on night flights

will take you in his arms and just soar above the clouds

with the clouds below you and the stars above, it feels like you two are the only people that exist

definitely dances with you during some of those flights

wraps one arm more tightly around your waist and take your hand in his and just… slowly spins in the air

it doesn’t look like much but when you’re just looking into each other’s eyes, it feels like the most romantic and intimate moment you could ask for

your life is quite literally in his hands but you’ve never felt safer

even more so when you wrap your arms around his neck and bury your face in the crook

his arms wound securely around your waist, the comforting smell of his scent, the kisses he presses to your temple every so often

it feels like home

likes startling/scaring you a lot

will sneak into the house after work just so he can tap on your shoulder from behind 

the gasp you let out as you freak out for half a second never fails to amuse him the jerk

will always make it up to you with long, deep kiss

if he gets home late after a long day he’ll just crawl into bed and pull you into his arms before burying his face into your hair

no talking, just breathes in your scent before he crashes

he sleeps really well like that, but, although he won’t admit it, he sleeps best when you hold him, his face buried in your chest

he feels warm and safe, like it’s okay to be vulnerable for once

absolutely flirts with you while at work

probably definitely sends you a few spicy pics or texts

it gives him such smug satisfaction knowing the affect he has on you when he’s not even physically there

picks up take-out when he knows your too tired to or would rather not cook

like to back hug you and wrap you up with his wings

9/10 times will bury his face in your neck and nuzzle

sometimes if he spots you while on patrol, he’ll fly over and flirt with you

“how you doin’, gorgeous? the name’s hawks. what’s a pretty lil’ thing like you doin’ in a neighborhood like this?”

sir, this is one of the safest areas in the city pLS-

but if you actually a r e in danger? oh boy

no one, and i mean no one, touches his girl

honestly i’d rather fight bakugo one on one than deal with keigo’s wrath

he’s one of the chillest people you will ever meet, but when he’s that mad? s c a r y

will keep a close watch on you for a while after that

asks you to always let him know where you’ll be and to text him when you get home

definitely considered installing a tracking app on your phones

he’ll calm down eventually, but for the moment he’s extremely anxious

although he certainly tried his best to hide it

he didn’t want to stress you out too, especially if you had any anxieties from it yourself

he was just afraid to lose you

he doesn’t know what he’d do without you

after all, you’re the most precious thing in the world to him and he loves you more than he could ever put into words

[ignitification]

Colour Analysis III: (LoV Series II) - Dabi

Yes, no - you don't have any hallucination. It's here. It is. And yes, it took an absurdly long time to, but it's here so mh, yeah - enjoy.

I suddenly remembered that an ask, long ago, asked me about the design pattern evident for Dabi. It's here in case you want to have a look at it.

As I stated there, Dabi is a living contradiction, especially in terms of colour theory.

His colour pattern is a chameleon of sorts: he both represents light and dark at the same time, as if he cannot decide which one to stick with. I think that this duality has all to do with his genealogy. Inheriting his mother constitution and his father's Quirk amplified, Dabi goes through an adaptation process, manifesting especially by the change in his hair's colour (same as Tomura, that is - you can find the link for his analysis at the bottom of the post). The dyeing hair is also part of the process, but this time it comes about with a voluntary part, which brings us to the point that even if not entirely, Dabi's personality is build around a feeling and a character, which he wants to express and contrast at the same time. This is why, as I already specified the most important colour when it comes to Dabi are Blue, Purple and White (with a sprinkle of Red).

I.) Royal Blue

More than any other colour, Blue is what fits Dabi the most. His eyes are blue, his fire is blue and his clothes are blue (different variation, but you get the gist).

Blue usually stands for coolness, loyalty, intelligence and responsibility. But pushing this aside for a minute, blue has a distinct effect on the human body: it lowers the heart rate and the body temperature and has a calming effect. It's a constant colour which represents the tide of waves and the never-ending blue of the sky. In respect to Dabi, it can be seen how this hardly applies - but, at the same time it does. As Dabi inherits Rei's constitution and her resistance to the cold - but his father's 'fiery' personality, his fire manifests as both. It creates a friction, until the burns on his body become an evident purple. This characteristic has a distinct connection to Red (section IV) - however, the leitmotiv is that Dabi's body is used to the effects that blue should have on him, and instead of seeing it realise they are brought down and counter-affected by Red (which is a metaphor for his entire persona).

Blue has the feature of being ever-changing, which, as you'll have understood by now, is one of many contrasts in Dabi's appearance. He indeed goes through an exterior change - but as blue, he remains steady on a path (which is revenge, and will to actually prove to Endeavour that he is not a mistake), making his character consistent with his ideas throughout the arcs and steady.

An overuse of blue is cold and impersonal - indicating the presence of deep dark secrets and having a  connection with feelings of sadness and depression. It creates the pictures of someone hiding in the dark just not to reveal their secrets, and for a long time we see Dabi trying to keep a low profile and then approach with an attitude of uncaring and cold indifference. He has burned his eye glands, which should allow him to express this feelings - but they are expressed, on the contrary, in the strength of his fire, and causes old feeling to settle and burn their way through his persona.

Blue is a susceptible colour and it hurts deeply - because in the first place, people associated with blue tend to feel too deeply. This fits the pattern of Dabi's fire being conditioned by his emotions, and why likely it creates deep wounds on his body: as a remainder that his feelings, expressed through the fire are way too intense and affect Dabi deeply. Deep enough for him to survive an astonishing fire and to hide for years in wait of having the right opportunity, the perfect opportunity to actually redirect this feeling onto the subject which caused them. As the constant colour that it is, indeed, blue (and Dabi) lives in the past.

Light blue is associated with healing, understanding and softness (his eyes), while darker hues are instead expression of power and knowledge (clothes - as a reminder of adulthood).

Finally, back on the literal meaning of blue: blue is a giver in the relationships that matter, but at the same time this colour can be unfaithful and deceiving (and we saw this in his interactions with the League at first and with Hawks, too). It is associated with intelligence and and consciousness (and indeed, the one who sort of had the reigns of the Training Camp was Dabi, and furthermore he is the only one who Ujiko retained mature enough to control a High End). This encompasses his characteristics of being reliable and responsible - and of course, Dabi embodies the whole spectrum.

Also on a final, funnily enough note, blue is usually associated with voice communication and someone who needs order, and strives for perfection as well as tending to be the one to speak in public. It's idealistic and expresses a will to satisfy its higher needs - and by doing that it expresses devotion in these ideals. So if you think about how Dabi's character is focused on reforming society, and giving Stain's will freedom and realisation, Dabi comes full circle - with a devotion which makes him focused on his goals (Stain's will, reformation of society and the Endeavour' downfall) , the commitment to actual plan their perfect realisation, and the ability to achieve it through the right means (The Broadcast).

II.) Pure White

White. Integrity, purity, innocence. Mourning, for some cultures. In particular in Japan, it is used as a colour meaning death, and is used in funerals. Same as for Tomura, Dabi uses both White and Black to somehow mourn himself and his loss (Tenko for his family, Touya for the himself he leaves behind) and especially in his adulthood, the concealing of such a colour through pitch black, is not only an effort to hide his identity but also to express a refusal to be the same person. White represents a new beginning, a blank slate. And if we consider these two to be somehow related (because death is seen as not the end, but instead a new beginning) it is clear how this colour, has a relevance to this character. After Touya's death, and his white hair hidden - he becomes Dabi, who has no time to still appeal to the childish feeling of wanting to impress his father and instead throws himself onto a new chapter of his life, because the past he will always remember, has been burned.

Same as blue, white brings serenity and peace - and at the same time it represents coldness and emptiness. I think this somehow emphasises the change in colour from red to white, and the loss of believing in strength (read: Endeavour) instead leaving an empty space in his heart, filled with emotions which he cannot control. The loss of innocence and the acquisition of the fact that Touya will never be what his father wanted him to, and the acceptance of such a thing - further brings out the meaning of the colour blue. (As already stated before, white, in Dabi's case is of enormous relevance - because it amplifies its relation to blue.)

Finally, white brings forward independence and freedom - and it stands for perfection. And I think it's really ironic how white, is not only the colour he inherited from Rei - a cold stark white - but at the same time, Endeavour has tossed him aside for the same reason, and that is because in his eyes he could not be more 'wrong'. But when his hair settles into his ultimate colour of white, Touya also breaks free from his father's expectation (but does he, really?) to start instead a new chapter as Dabi. Hiding the mistake he thinks he is, an instead embraces the personality that has been thrown onto him.

White is also the symbol of truth - which is tied to the revelation that Dabi is Touya Todoroki, and his dyed black hair becomes white, again (revealing the truth of his persona).

II.I) Pitch Black

Just to be as precise as possible, I'm adding a tiny section on black, which can be summarised in two sentences: black is associated with mystery, sophistication, power and authority. It brings forward the symbol of darkness, rebellion and ultimately it stands as a synonym of death. It's a colour which, when considered in respect to white, stands for the struggle between right and wrong - good and evil. Dabi presents himself as someone mysterious, and he does not reveal his name until far down the line. But he is still a representation of power, in terms of quirk and his position both inside the LoV and the PFL. Furthermore, him covering up his hair colour with black, as already said, has to do with wanting to appear a villain more than it has to do with his identity. He wants to fade into background for a while, and then come from the darkness to sweep everyone away - covering himself in black so it sends a clear message to everyone looking at him: that he is dangerous, and that there is no escape from his evil.

III.) Daunting Purple

Now, this is a controversial section. When I first thought of Dabi, I associated him with blue more than anything else, because after all, even if purple is an ever-present colour, it is just a reminder of how dangerous his quirk is, and how his body does not fare well in the friction of his firepower and his constitution. However, I think it is still important to put things into perspective when it comes to Dabi.

It is not a surprise, that Purple comes about as a combination of Red and Blue. The eternal struggle - which comes forth into the most detrimental way possible, for him. The shade of this colour has different meanings (not surprisingly) but, as far as I am concerned, Dabi's is a 'darker purple' (which is the one we have figured in the pictures) and fulfils its duty to evoke sadness and gloom. This is just a constant reminder of his story, and also the why Dabi is not very big on concealing the scars: because he thinks of them as a fair punishment, and that they remind him constantly of what and when exactly things did go wrong. Purple is also a colour associated with royalty and people with authority. On this meaning, there might a controversial stake, because it would actually give a relevance (or positive connotation) to the colour, however, as already stated before - I think that the scars are not only a reminder for himself, but same as the conscious choice of wearing black, Dabi makes a conscious choice to reveal his burn marks and to stitch his skin with evident metal piercings. He is putting them in evidence for a reason, and I'd guess this is the same reason for why he sticks on wearing dark colours, and to due his hair black: Dabi's objective is to appear as a heartless villain, and usually the image of somehow badly injured and wearing dark clothes, as sad as this might be, projects the image of exactly someone you'd like to avoid on the street.

Purple is also the colour of 'Fall', with its fading light. I found this particularly poetic when it comes to Dabi, as Fall might as well be the eternal representation of his character, and the fact that instead Dabi's fire just grown bigger and bigger, hurting him even more in the process - is the total contrary of fading light. But on the other hand, the light of his own personality, and those emotions he keeps tucked away just tend to be fade, dwindle at every sign of possible emotional connection.

Purple promotes the balance between mind and emotions - between the spiritual and the physical world. The balance between Red (emotions) and Blue (mind), and to which Dabi is not accustomed, yet. Finally, purple - among others - is also a mourning colour (reminder that both White and Black are also mourning colours). And it also inspires mystery, which again the image Dabi likes to project about himself onto others.

IV.) Flourishing Red

Red is Dabi's curse and representation. The contrast to white, and also the exacerbation of Blue. Red is the colour that gets the blood going (or rather, in this case, 'The one that turns up the heat' and which contrasts the calming effects of Blue) and the one who expresses passion and strength (which is why Endeavour's personality colour is Red - it's not a case that Red is associated with violence, anger, blood, obsession of power and strength, danger and fiery passion).

Red is the colour which Touya denies, and that instead comes back to bite him back. Red is energising and full of spirit and passion - and the image of a young Touya, striving to get better and make his father proud comes to mind. It's prideful and full of power - the will of a child, and his enormous Quirk-power struggling to keep it in check. This is why, Red after a while fades to Blue - and burns even more than it used to. Passion felt too deep, the exploitation of power which brings destruction. An all clear sentence to actually see why Dabi ends up with denying the all-too-overwhelming presence of Red and its characteristics, opting instead for a more suited to him Blue, which is also highly contrasting to the pure anger and passion associated to Red. The fact that Touya's hair changes, is an indicator of how he negates his father's influence, but still insists on hanging on those feelings, because he cannot let go of them. A walking oxymoron.

Thank for staying all the way, and for reading.

P.S. The colour analysis featuring Izuku and Shigaraki are respectively linked.

[anarchy-and-piglins]

Somehow Technoblade had managed the spectacular achievement of becoming the odd one out in an entire community made up of rare and strange beings.

The fact that all the other residents were non-humans happened to be what made him different though. Wilbur had told him the history of the commune, how their town was founded with the direct purpose of being a safe place for mobs and hybrids to live in peace, secluded from the humans who hunted them, enslaved them, or would otherwise harm them. Their location was kept secret, hidden from most by enchantments, and they were almost completely self-sufficient in the way they were run in terms of food and stuff.

Only occasionally would somebody wander out to another village, to trade or just to seek a little adventure for themselves. Phil especially was prone to do this – a traveler at heart, his Elytrian nature – and he was the one who had found Technoblade in a rather... compromising position.

If by compromising you could mean having an arrow sticking out your back.

People didn't like Technoblade. And Technoblade generally didn't like people, but he liked it even less when they chased him out of their villages with their bows drawn. Phil had been kind enough to remove the projectile. Technoblade had bravely said it didn't hurt but then secretly dug his blunt nails into the palms of his hands hard enough to leave white indents. Then Phil had insisted on taking him home to get a proper look at the wound and clean it up.

Not all of the other residents were thrilled with Technoblade's presence at first, scared it could compromise their location. A lot of their tunes had changed when they found out other humans were the cause of his injury, even more so when Techno revealed this was hardly an isolated incident. People didn't like Technoblade at all.

(Most humans had little tolerance for that which they did not understand. And according to them, Technoblade was weird and very hard to understand. Techno understood himself perfectly fine, he always thought they were the weird ones.)

So he stayed and overall things worked out great. There were only minor issues caused by the 'only human around' thing. Their pub was a good example. A few of the others in the commune could simply fly or teleport, and those that couldn't had no problems either since they could rely on inhuman stamina to make the climb tolerable. Techno had a hundred rungs of a ladder he needed to brave with his pitiful human physique if he wanted to get up there. Same thing for Phil's ridiculously high-up birdhouse.

And then one day he got sick.

It was probably his own fault. Last night when it was storming he'd been coming home from mining and gotten completely soaked out in the rain. A small voice in the back of his mind told him he should probably take his drenched clothes off and get warm and comfortable as soon as he got home – the voice sounded suspiciously like Phil when he lectured Techno about fixing his terrible sleeping schedule and eating more regularly. But he had gotten distracted by putting away the materials he'd mined into his chests and starting to smelt the ore and by the time he noticed he was shivering at how cold it was, his clothes were damp more than wet. He lighted the fire and felt too exhausted to bother getting changed, crawling under the covers as he was - though it didn't completely ward away further trembling.

When he woke up his head hurt and there was this annoying tickle in his chest, feather-light touches against his lungs. The clothes had become sticky and uncomfortable, peeling off his skin. Techno coughed into a fist and set out as normal, intent on resuming his tasks where he left off yesterday.

It would probably go away on its own.

Except the coughing didn't stop. Small bursts of it kept coming up when he needed them least. He was in the middle of one when a voice rang out behind him.

"Techno, are you okay dude?" He must have jumped a solid three feet into the air and for a moment Wilbur only chuckled at his reaction.

"I told you to stop doing that," Techno grumbled, a little too sharply. Just because Wilbur could literally appear out of nowhere didn't mean he had to use that ability to sneak up on him for no reason. Techno coughed again, hiding it in his elbow.

"You did," Wilbur acknowledged with a smirk, but didn't apologize. "What are you doing?"

"What does it look I'm doing, I'm headed to the mines." Techno swung his pickaxe up on his shoulder, kind of almost nearly dropping it in the process with how clumsy his hands were being. Stupid.

"It looks like you were hacking up a lung, really." Wilbur's features softened. "Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine," Techno responded. He started walking again, knowing Wilbur would have a hard time following him while in corporeal form. Especially in the daytime.

"Are you coming to the pub later? I've got some new plans to unveil, think they'll be sick." Wilbur did make a valiant attempt at following him, though he quickly started falling behind, floating inches above the ground and unable to keep up with Techno's human strides.

"Uh, I'll think about it?" Techno answered evasively. He wasn't looking forward to braving that ladder in his current state. His arms hurt just thinking about it.

Wilbur stopped to call after him. "What do you mean you'll think about it?"

But Techno was far enough gone to be able to pretend not to hear him as he descended down his mineshaft.

Techno liked Niki's hair a lot. He'd even told her so not long after meeting her.

It was long and wavy and a nice shade of pastel pink that reminded him of the sunset. Technoblade would consider growing out his own hair that long if he didn't know it was way too unruly to keep in shape and stay untangled. And if dyeing it wasn't such a chore – one he knew he'd be too lazy to undertake as regularly as he should – he might have dyed it from its boring brown shade into something more interesting.

Niki was glad he was keeping her company while she tended to it, combing through it with what he presumed was a comb made of a seashell. Techno didn't tell her he had only really left the mines early because his lungs were starting to strain from the dust down there, the coughing fits getting closer together with less time in between to let him breathe. He sat on the sandy shore and traced patterns into the sand with one finger while they talked.

Niki was telling him about her builds, and expressing her disappointment over how she couldn't easily show them to her friends. None of them could breathe underwater or deal with the pressure common at the depths Niki lived. But she loved describing them in detail.

She was just explaining the sea glass she was intending to use when Technoblade started coughing again. His lungs expressed their displeasure through a series of sharp pangs that shot up into his neck. The sound he made was wet and disgusting, like there was something liquid rattling around inside his chest. Niki stopped talking to look at him worriedly.

"Are you alright? Techno, what happened?"

He tried to wave her away but it was kind of hard with his body still intent on making it impossible for him to get oxygen. Techno closed his eyes against the blurriness of his vision to concentrate on inhaling slower instead. "M'fine." He could feel the phlegm in his throat.

Niki was pulling herself onto the beach a little, trying to get a closer look at him. "Are you sick?"

"No." Getting up so fast was a bad idea. His head spun and he felt incredibly shaky. Techno ignored it. "No, I'm not. It's fine. I think I'll just head home now."

He started walking away quickly. The afternoon sun felt unbearable suddenly, scorching. Or maybe that was the beginning of a fever.

Niki called after him to wait but confined to the water as she was, it wasn't like she could do anything to stop him. Technoblade walked until he crested the hill, already seeing the shape of the other buildings in the distance. He made it halfway through the grass field and then he felt too drained to continue. Deciding to sit down for a bit, he lay back and closed his eyes.

"Do you think he's dead?"

"I dunno, we should poke him with a stick to find out."

Techno groaned at the sound of loud voices, ringing painfully around his aching head. He cracked his eyes open – not sure when he had even fallen asleep - and tried to blink the three faces hovering above him into focus.

"Oh, I think he's alive. Kind of." That was Ranboo.

"We could still poke him, just to make sure." Tommy.

Which meant the third person had to be Tubbo.

Techno pushed up on his elbows to get into a seated position, hating how difficult it was. His limbs were weak, as if they were made of jelly or some shit. The light fever had escalated into him feeling like his entire body was on fire.

This was not good.

"-chno? Hey, anybody home?" Tubbo was talking to him, waving one hand in front of his face. If his frown was any indication, Techno had been spacing out for a while.

"Hm?" he asked.

"I think there's something wrong with him," Tubbo said to the others.

"I'm fine." Techno tried standing up but fell back onto his ass a moment later when dizziness plowed into him with the force of a boulder. Tommy snorted.

"Yeah, we can tell." He reached out but pulled his hand back as soon as it came into contact with Techno's skin. "Fuck you're almost the same temperature as Jack Manifold. Pretty sure humans aren't supposed to run that hot."

"I'll get Phil," Ranboo offered, teleporting before Techno had a chance to object.

He covered his face with his hands and sighed. This was going to be a thing now and that happened to be the exact opposite of what Technoblade wanted it to be. He just wanted to go home and sleep this off.

"You're not..." Tubbo broke through his thoughts. The boy hesitated, wings vibrating a bit with nervous energy. "You're not like... actually dying are you?"

Techno tried to answer but was interrupted by another coughing fit first. When he was done Tubbo looked even more anxious than before. "Probably not. It's just a cold."

It was definitely not a simple cold. Pneumonia, more likely.

"Oh good."

Techno agreed. Not dying would probably be good, even if he currently felt like death warmed over.

Philza took him to the pub, much to Technoblade's horror.

All his protests and insistence he'd be fine if he was just taken to his house were brushed off easily, especially when Phil took flight with Techno barely able to keep from falling off his back when dark spots took over his vision. If it weren't for Phil's supporting hands keeping him steady he's probably have fallen off.

Normally Techno didn't dislike flying with Phil – despite the other always making some quip about how little Techno weighed for his height. But this time the vertigo was horrible and made him want to puke. Maybe it was fortunate he had skipped breakfast this morning.

They landed on the wooden porch softly, Phil keeping Techno's arm around his shoulder as he put him down to make sure he wouldn't collapse. Techno wasn't about to admit he probably needed that, though he muttered a quick thanks under his breath, which was starting to get more wheezing by the minute. There wasn't an inch of his body that didn't ache.

There were a few beds in the backrooms of the pub, sometimes used for newcomers to temporarily reside. Techno found himself dumped into one, not really caring where Phil went when he left the room. Not when the sheets were so blessedly cool and comfortable. He could have probably fallen back asleep soon if Phil hadn't returned almost instantly.

"I checked with Sneeg, he said this should help a little." Phil sat down on the bed, holding up a cup with the nastiest-looking brown tea inside it Technoblade ever did see. "I'm sorry we don't have any real potions to give you, but he's closest to you in physiology, so I'm hoping this will be enough. We don't exactly have a lot of experience with human illness."

"Did you ask him if it was poisonous?" Techno asked, eyeing the steaming liquid.

"Don't be dramatic." Phil handed him the cup. Techno sighed and downed the herbal tea in one go, suppressing his gag reflex. Medicinal and earthy, it somehow tasted worse than it looked. He didn't think that was possible.

"Great, can I go home now?"

Phil shook his head as he got up again, taking the cup from him. "You're not going anywhere until your fever breaks. You think I flew you all the way up here for fun?"

"Possibly."

Rolling his eyes as he leaves the room, Phil once again came back only a moment later. This time he was holding a bowl of what Techno could only presume was water going by the cloth that was soaking in it. Phil gestured for him to lie down properly and this time Techno obeyed without complaint.

"I think it's best if you stay here for a while," he said while folding the cloth and putting it on Techno's forehead. The coldness of it did feel nice against his pounding headache. "The pub is the best place for us to take turns keeping an eye on you."

"I don't need you guys to keep an eye on me, though. I'm not a child."

"No, you're just a stubborn asshole with pneumonia." Phil drew back a bit, smile faltering. "And also the only human currently living in the commune. We don't have the needed supplies to treat you should this get worse, so I'd rather not take the risk."

And while he did a fair job hiding it, it was undeniably clear Phil was worried.

"Fine, I'll stay." Techno made an effort of showing how annoyed he was by huffing and pulling the blankets over himself. "But can you at least get me a book or something? Won't help much keeping me here if I'll be bored to death."

Phil laughed – light and teasing. Techno liked that a lot more than he did the worry.

"I'll see what I can do."

He spent a solid week in bed.

Much to Phil's relief, Techno's sickness did not get worse. But without proper medicine, it didn't improve as quickly as they would have liked either. He had to get better the old-fashioned way: waiting for his body to fight off the infection on its own.

Most of his time was spent sleeping. Whenever he woke up somebody else was at his bedside, to make sure he could eat and drink. Phil hadn't been kidding when he said they'd take turns. It was almost comforting to know there was always someone watching over him while he slept, though Techno didn't feel the need to say that out loud.

After that first week, he was recovered enough to at least limp out of his room and around the pub. He was too weak to attempt the ladder and any sudden moves were still likely to throw him into a coughing fit that could last several minutes. But he could sit at one of the tables and talk to Niki when she visited.

Or to the others, who all seemed to be coming by a lot more often than was usual.

Wilbur unveiled his plans and talked Techno's ear off about what he was working on. Fundy came all the way to the pub to try and sell him stolen trinkets. Ranboo was always coming around with some new book for him to read, asking him if he liked his previous recommendation.

(None of them visited as often as Tommy though, who always complained about having to be there while fluffing up his wings, yet always stuck around the longest even when Techno told him he'd be fine on his own.)

And with them around, Techno realized that despite being the only human, he had never felt less alone.

[armory-rasa]

Have you ever made a flask, canteen, or other liquid holder? The tutorials on YouTube all seem to do similar things but the final products are always very rough or sloppy, which makes me question the workmanship. As my go-to for quality armor tutorials, I was just wondering if you had ever made something like that and if so did you deviate from: Cut, glue?, stitch, stretch, beeswax, plug.

I have not, but you inspired me to go watch some and weigh in on them. :D

This was the top result when I searched "make a leather flask," and unless I'm missing something, I'd say the workmanship on this is pretty solid. Some of the other videos have sloppy stitching and sloppy edges, but this guy takes the steps to mitigate those problems, namely by:

- Using a stitching groover to put channels in the leather before stitching, because that helps the thread stay in a tidy line. And bonus pro-tip: making sure that each stitch is angled the same direction. (Which, hm, isn't a very good explanation if you don't already know what I'm talking about. Perhaps I should do a long post on stitching.)

- Using contact cement to anchor the edges, followed by pounding/pressing them together tightly, followed by sanding the edges flat and then beveling them. I may not have done this for flasks before, but it's the same process as finishing the edges on a welted knife sheath:

You line the edges up as best you can while glueing, and then sand them down so that all the layers form one seamless edge. For knife sheaths, a belt sander is ideal, but I don't have one of those, so I tend to use a dremel with a sanding drum. It's the same as sanding by hand, just faster. So yeah, definitely glue.

Other miscellaneous thoughts:

I wouldn't tape the pattern to the leather; I don't know why he felt the need to do that, it isn't hard to keep the pattern in position while you're tracing. Even scotch tape and masking tape will fuck up the surface of the leather when you pull it off. Also, since he's going to be dyeing and beveling the edges anyway, I would have marked the pattern with a fine-point brown sharpie instead of an awl, it gives you more control.

He mentions in the video that some people use a drill press to make the stitching holes, and advises against it, but sometimes it's kind of unavoidable -- not on this flask project, because he's only punching through two layers of 9 oz leather, but when you're making welted knife sheathes, sometimes you're working with up to four or even five layers, and it's literally too thick for a diamond punch. (...Yeah I definitely have a lot to say about stitching.)

Ridiculous layers:

I would not have used the Eco-Flo Pro Waterstain that he does; that stuff is garbage, and does create the waxy barrier that he mentions causing problems when it comes time to soak the flask before wet-molding. Just use an alcohol-based dye, Fiebings or Angelus, you'll be doing yourself a favor.

Using corn kernels to get the shape is leaving some textured indentations in the wet leather; that could be avoided by using something smaller and smoother, like sand. Though the tradeoff of potentially winding up with sand in your finished water jug might not be worth it.

You could probably cut your beeswax with paraffin wax, which is cheaper and also easier to work with, in my experience. (Beeswax is REALLY sticky.) Or what I use, which is jeweler's casting wax, because it has a higher melting point (~170 F) than beeswax or paraffin (~140 F and ~120 F, respectively). This makes your armor less likely to go soft even if it gets left in a hot car, though I'd have to check the material sheet to make sure it's non-toxic before using it on a drinking bottle.

He could have made the edges more polished by hitting it with an edge burnisher during the waxing stage.

*

But yeah, on the whole I'd say that's a really excellent tutorial (makes me want to go make a flask of my own, hah), and even the things I'd do differently are mostly just a matter of personal preference.

[e-milieeee]

the stars know (you and i are meant to be)—ladynoir

Summary: Between akumas and school, Ladybug and Chat Noir find some time in between to sit back, have a picnic, and stargaze. And perhaps learn a little more about each other. 

Notes: happy birthday @edendaphne! your art was some of the first i saw when i joined the fandom and i love it sm (this oneshot is based off of this). i hope you have a great day <3 

written for day 2: stargazing and day 17: future for @ladynoirjuly2020.

Her mother tells her that preparing a meal for someone is an intimate gesture.

Marinette begs to differ. It’s just a meal, after all. There are three meals a day, and she finds it pointless to assign some sort of underlying worth to all of them.

But now, painstakingly arranging the bento boxes she’d made for Chat Noir, she begrudgingly understands what her mother means. She wraps them in picnic cloth, shouldering her bag full of supplies, and then drops out from her balcony to meet Chat.

They find each other halfway; Ladybug spots a familiar streak of black darting between rooftops. She knows he sees her: he always does.

Sure enough, Chat Noir turns up behind her in the span of five seconds and shoots her his usual blinding grin. “Good evening, m’lady!”

His smile is contagious, and Ladybug doesn’t even try to contain her own. “Hungry?” she asks him as they start to move again, racing over buildings at a breakneck speed. “You better not have eaten dinner before this, because I cooked a lot.”

Chat feigns offence. “I can’t believe you would even suggest I’d do such a thing. I’d eat the food you cooked me even if it’s burnt and cold, you know that.” He pauses, a contemplative look crossing his face. “Though I am expecting some world class cooking.”

Ladybug thinks back to the five hours she spent cooking their dinner, and the careful arranging she’d done of the bento boxes and the wide array of food she’d made sure to cook. It’s a fusion of both Japanese and Chinese cuisine—Chat’s favourites. Preparing a meal for someone is an intimate gesture.

Perhaps her mother is right, but it’s still just an intimate gesture between friends. Yeah, that’s what it is.

“World class cooking pales in comparison to mine,” Ladybug jokes, although she also feels obligated to add on, “don’t raise your expectations too high.”

“With you, my expectations are always high.”

She shoves him just for that comment, inciting nothing but a slight falter in his movements and a large grin. With a shake of her head, Ladybug moves on, if only to hide her own smile. 

***

They set up their picnic on top of a hill.

It’s secluded, and that’s the best part of the location. Ladybug unpacks her bag to start tugging out the blankets she packed: some to sit on, others to huddle under when the night starts getting chilly. Then, even more carefully, she begins to lay their dinner bit by bit in front of them, until she finally spreads the feast out in front of Chat.

His mouth drops open, and he does not even attempt to close it. Saucer-plate eyes blink at her.

“For me?” Chat finally manages after at least thirty seconds of gaping. “I mean… you made all of this for me?”

Ladybug has to admit she’s pleased by his reaction, and even more so pleased by the fact that their slightly rough journey hadn’t ruined the aesthetic appeal of most of her dishes.

“Well, for me as well,” she teases, reaching over to tap on his bell.

He’s undeterred. “This is unbelievable,” he whispers, more to himself than her. “M’lady, I can’t believe you made this to eat with me.”

Something about his tone tugs at her heart. In an attempt to snap him out of it, Ladybug points out, “It’s kitty themed.”

“I know.” His voice wobbles slightly. “Are those cat cookies supposed to be me?”

“Yeah. They turned out kind of ugly, though.”

“No, they’re beautiful. I wish I could look like that.”

“Chat, you don’t have a nose in those cookies. You really don’t.”

He sniffles once more, and Ladybug realizes belated that he has teared up. “Chat,” she tries, this time in a gentler tone. “Are you… crying?”

He rubs his eyes rather violently. “No.”

“Kitty…”

“Fine, yes. I’m just very happy. These are happy tears. It’s okay.” With one last painful looking scrub over his face, Chat Noir lowers his hands. “You can introduce the dishes and we’ll eat.”

Knowing better to push, she obliges the request, even if Ladybug has her doubts on happy tears. There’s a certain melancholy in his words, the sort that carries an old sort of pain. So instead, sitting side by side, their knees touching and sitting just close enough that she feels the warmth radiating off him, Ladybug starts to name the dishes.

“These are the appetizers,” she tells Chat, who listens attentively. “Those are pork potstickers—they might not be as hot as they were before, though. That one’s called… um, lang… liang ni?” The words don’t sound like how her mother says them, but her Chinese is lacking in more ways than one and Ladybug can’t remember the name of the dish for the life of her. “Honestly, I have no clue what it’s called. I think it roughly translates into cold noodles.”

Chat leans over to scrutinize the dish. “It looks familiar.”

“The noodles are store-bought, but I made the sauce. There’s carrots, beansprouts, and cucumbers. And those tofu things. It’s also spicy, but I put the sauce in a container so if you can’t handle spice, you don’t need to add it.”

Never one to admit defeat, he folds his arms. “I can handle spicy food easily.”

“Okay, tough guy, I’ll take you up on that later. Anyway, I made us both bento boxes for the main meal, and…” She opens the box, and Chat’s eyes practically bulge out of his head.

“Cats?” he demands. “Rice cats? Oh my god, Ladybug, you’re unbelievable.”

Cats, indeed. She’d spent an hour shaping them: sticky rice balls shaped into little kitten heads, with ears sticking out at the side. There’s one made from white rice and another from purple rice, and the faces are styled from carefully cut pieces of dried seaweed, then sprinkled with sesame seeds. Ladybug’s certain that beneath the suit, her hands still smell like the seasoning she’d rolled the rice with because of the sheer amount of time she had spent on them.

“I made both Taiwanese fried chicken and teriyaki salmon for meat, then fried some vegetables. For health reasons. And kimchi, because we had some in our fridge and I thought, why not?” With that, she sets his bento box into his lap and gestures at the cookies. “Dessert. And something else afterwards, if you’re still hungry.”

“Something afterwards…?”

“You’ll see later,” she mumbles. “Anyway, dig in before it gets cold.”

Ladybug’s never been that great at accepting compliments, and Chat doesn’t lay off on them today either. He picks up the chopsticks with care and carefully picks up a piece of Taiwanese fried chicken. He pops it into his mouth, chews thoughtfully, then swallows.

Ladybug is never not in awe of how Chat’s eyes can literally light up.

“You weren’t lying,” he gushes. “This is world class cooking.”

“You’re laying it on a little too thick there,” she laughs.

“I speak only the truth, m’lady. This is amazing. Just like you.”

“Chat…”

“Okay, okay!” He’s still smiling as he moves to the rice ball. “I almost don’t want to eat them. They’re too perfect.”

Ladybug reaches over with her own chopsticks, stabbing one of his rice balls to split it in half, also tearing off one of the seaweed-eyes in the process. “There you go,” she declares sagely. “Ready to eat.”

Chat’s mouth drops open. “You didn’t.”

“I did.”

“I-I didn’t even get a picture!”

Ladybug pats his back. “Life is full of disappointments, isn’t it, chaton?”

He stabs her rice ball just for the hell of it before returning to his meal.

***

By the time she and Chat have practically cleaned out all the food (how he’d eaten nine cookies after the meal is beyond Ladybug), she’s so full that any slight movement hurts.

“Oh my god,” Chat is saying, tilting his head back. “I don’t think I’ve eaten so much for years.”

“I feel like I’m going to die,” Ladybug agrees. She’s lying back on the picnic blanket, staring at the sky. The sun had set twenty minutes ago, but traces of its light still peek out at the edge of the horizon, dyeing the sky a lovely indigo colour. Only the brightest stars are visible right now, but the others start to blink into existence one by one as day rests and night awakens.

“I feel like I’m going to die too.” He props his chin on his hand. “But it’s the good sort of dying. How privileged I am to be able to die next to you.”

Laughing hurts, but she can’t help but do so anyway. “Drama queen.”

He bats his eyelashes at her. “Only for you, Bugaboo.”

Ladybug wrinkles her nose at him in mock disgust, but a laugh is threatening to spill yet again and she’s not in the mood for another stomachache. Instead, she turns her attention back to the stars. The breeze that breathes over them is soothing.

They don’t do much for the next couple of minutes, simply gazing at the stars, wrapped up in a thick blanket of companionable silence. It’s easy like this, next to Chat Noir: Ladybug doesn’t have to read into these gaps of quiet, instead settling into them—because with him, they’re simply natural.

When the dark settles in completely and the sky alights into a patchwork of stars, Chat speaks up.

“Ladybug,” he says quietly.

She doesn’t turn away from the sky. “Mm.”

“Isn’t it funny that we’re here because of Hawkmoth?”

She pauses her stargazing to look at her partner instead. “What do you mean?”

Chat gives a little shrug, slightly sheepish. “If this… if none of this happened, or if Master Fu ended up choosing somebody else, or a million other possibilities, would we have met? Maybe we’ve passed each other on the street a thousand times and never knew who the other was. That thought has always bothered me, but I’m just… I’m just so thankful right now I can sit with you like this, even with the masks between us. I’m thankful that every time I transform, I know that I’ll see you again. I hate Hawkmoth as much as any other Parisian, but perhaps I have him to thank, for letting me meet you like this. And I hope that no matter what my future will bring, you’ll still be there in it.”

Ladybug can handle the flirtatious remarks, the casual confessions he peppers her with. But this—this is much more intimate, something she can’t help but cradle close to her heart. “Chat—”

“I know you don’t feel the same,” he replies. “And that’s okay. But for so long, no one’s really cared about me like you have, m’lady, and you mean everything to me and I hope you know that.”

Words evade her for a couple of moments. Then Ladybug extends her hand to him, and Chat’s fingers slip around hers, interlocking. It feels right—it always feels right with him.

“Me too, chaton,” she whispers into the sky. “I’m so glad I met you, and I hope that you’ll be there too, in my future.”

She can see his smile in her periphery.

***

Her mother tells her that preparing a meal for someone is an intimate gesture.

Ladybug is inclined to agree, but she thinks that sharing that meal together (and what happens afterwards) is what really makes it so.

Notes: Fics masterlist here! 

[little-kat07]

The Perfect Cake

[OH MY GOD GUYS LOOK WHAT I FOUND!!! 

A couple days ago, i suddenly remembered that I HAVE AN AO3 ACCOUNT. I completely forgot I had one. So I went back and looked at my works and holy hell guys, I had a ONESHOT BOOK! BUT I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ONESHOTS WERE SO I CALLED THEM ‘Sanders Stories’, BECAUSE THEY WERE SANDERS SIDES. THEY’RE KIND OF CRAPPY BUT ALSO REALLY NOSTALGIC AND I’M SO HAPPY I FOUND THEM!!!!

This one particular one is called “The Perfect Cake,” and i’m actually kind of proud of past me for it, even though it’s not that good. It’s fluffy Logicality with a gallon of Patton angst because that is literally all I’m good at writing.

So I’m going to leave this here, as well as a link to the book! GUYS I’M JUST SO HAPPY!]

[In case you’re confused, the link I send will be to the whole book so the first chapter isn’t the one that I’m pasting here. This chapter, The Perfect Cake, is the second oneshot and the first one is prinxiety]

Link to book

---

Pairings: Logicality

TW: Baking, feelings of worthlessness, crying, birthday, breakdown

Summary: It’s Logan’s birthday tomorrow, and Patton is determined to bake the PERFECT cake for it (Even if he hasn’t baked that much before.) He’s trying his best, but he can’t do it alone.

---

Patton stood in the center of the kitchen.

He often had the same feeling in his stomach before he cooked something big; He had to mentally prepare himself for hours of work.

Logan's Birthday was tomorrow, and Patton had to make it the best possible birthday! This was the anniversary of the first day Thomas went to preschool- the day Logan was formed.

Patton remembered that day like it was yesterday. He remembered a small toddler with an intelligent sparkle in his eye knocking on the door of the commons, he remembered how he swore Patton's hugs might suffocate someone. He remembered growing up with him, and slowly falling in love, and-

Shoot. No. These emotions weren't logical, it was impossible for Logan to like Patton back. He had to stop thinking like that.

Illogical feelings or not, tomorrow was Logan's day to shine, and it had to be perfect. Patton had to bake the most amazing, most beautiful, most delicious cake ever to grace the Mind-scape.

Patton took a deep breath and got to work.

After a few hours, Patton had been worked to death. He had been trying and trying to make the perfect cake, but it was always just wrong, or the product of a mistake. His pink apron was wrinkled and dirty, and he had streaks of batter all over his face. He had started at 6 am, and it was now 8. He sighed and rubbed his face, grateful that he still had his optimism.

"Patton? You ok, Padre?"

Patton turned to find Roman standing in the kitchen doorway, eyes sparking with worry.

Patton smiled. "Oh, I'm alright, kiddo. Just trying to bake a cake for Logan. I can't seem to get it right."

Roman smirked and came in. "Want some help? I've never baked before, but I'll help if it's bothering you."

Patton grinned and gave the Prince a huge hug. "Thank you so much, kiddo! I'm sure you will be a great help!"

Oh, how wrong Patton had been.

Virgil had often joked about how Roman wouldn't stop singing to save his life, and Patton was pretty sure that was true. Every 5 minutes, just as they started to get some work done, the prince would start belting out lyrics to disney songs or dancing around the kitchen. They got as far as perfectly mixing the batter before Patton had to stop him.

"Look, kiddo..." Patton started, rubbing his hands together and trying to find a way to put this nicely. "You helped me make the perfect batter, and I am so proud of you for that, but I think maybe you should clock out? You have been a great help, but you... Um... Sing a lot." Patton winced, afraid Roman was going to be offended.

Roman nodded in understanding and put a hand on patton's shoulder. "Hey, don't worry about it. I know I can be distracting. Do you want me to go see if Virgil will help you?"

Patton nodded, thankful. "That would be great!"

Roman left the kitchen yelling "HOT TOPIC! PAT WANTS YOU!"

Patton watched him go with a proud smile, and then turned to clean up the kitchen.

Just as he was halfway through cleaning, Virgil came into the kitchen with his hood up. "Sup', Pop star?"

Patton grinned and gave Virgil a big hug, which the emo reluctantly returned. "My dark, strange son! I am baking a cake for Logan’s birthday, and I need your help!" Patton pulled away from Virgil, smiling. "Roman already helped me make the batter, but he can be a bit much in the kitchen. Would you mind helping out for the rest of the process?"

Virgil shrugged. "I have nothing better to do."

Patton knew that that was Virgil's way of saying "I would love to."

Virgil was very helpful cleaning up the kitchen. He had a sort of efficient way of doing things, just one after the other, not saying a word. It was kind of satisfying to watch.

It got a bit hectic after that, though. Once they were done cleaning, they had to pour the batter into the pans. It was going to be a big cake, like, "Corpse Bride" big. So they had to use multiple pans and lots of batter. Virgil had violently shaky hands, and had lots of trouble pouring the batter in. In the end, Patton had to pour all the batter himself, and the kitchen ended up very messy.

Virgil's eyeshadow was darker than when he had initially come in. "I-im sorry... I didn't mean to mess up, I just-"

Patton smiled at him and pulled him into a hug. "No no, you didn't do anything wrong, kiddo! You just had a little trouble with steadying your hands. I'm very proud of you for helping me clean up, but maybe we should get someone else to help us here? Maybe Jan?"

Virgil smirked sadly. "I think maybe i'll duck out for now, but I'll tell Janus you want his help."

"Thanks, son!"

Virgil stepped out of the kitchen yelling "HEY SNAKE BOY!"

Patton sighed. This was not going the way he had wanted it to. He did realize that if Janus ended up being bad at this, his last choice was Remus, and he was terrified of going down that road.

He had just cleaned the batter from the stovetop when Janus walked into the kitchen. "Hey Pat, did you need something?"

Pat smiled tiredly. "Hey, Janjan. I was going to bake a cake for Logan, but i'm having some trouble. Roman and Virge weren't so good at it, so I wanted to see if you would help?"

Jan rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I'm tooooootally not disappointed that you worked with Emo and Sir Singalot before you thought about the second smartest person here," He said sarcastically.

"Mm-hm!" Patton managed to say before taking a deep breath to control himself.

Janus helped Patton bake the cake and even out the tops with a bread knife. The next thing they had to do was spread the buttercream filling on the layers so they could be stacked.

Jan looked in the fridge like Patton told him to. "I don't see the buttercream."

Patton walked over and scanned the fridge. It was gone.

He took a few deep breaths and ran a hand through his hair. "Where the heck is it? If I have to make more, I swear I will-"

"Make more of what?" Remus poked his head into the kitchen curiously.

"The buttercream filling for Logan's cake is gone."

Remus cocked his head. "Buttercream? Hmmm... OH! Yeah, I ate that."

Patton's eyes widened. "You did WHAT?" Remus smiled fearfully while Patton yelled. "THE ONE THING YOU EAT THAT IS ACTUAL FOOD, AND IT HAS TO BE THE BUTTERCREAM?"

For once, Janus looked worried. "Patton, are you ok? You aren't acting like yourself..."

The dad side breathed in and out rapidly, his hands running through his hair. He tried to calm himself down- He was the happy side, not the angry side. He could get through this. "I'm fine. I'm calm. I can do this."

"Gee, I'm sorry, Pat," Said Remus. He suddenly grinned. "I can throw it up for you, if you want!"

"NO! No, no. I think we will be ok," Janus said, pushing Remus out of the room. He turned to face Pat. "Patpat, are you ok?"

Janus sometimes called Patton Patpat, mostly as payback for Patton calling him Janjan. But when the two became good friends, they used them as nicknames instead.

"I'm fine, Janjan. I'm just having some feelings. Feelings are okay though! I'm ok."

Janus sighed. "If you say so."

They worked together to make a new batch of buttercream, allowing the cake to cool. The original buttercream had been baby blue, but Patton had no more baby blue dye, so they used indigo instead. They layered and stacked the cake with the buttercream, used support sticks to keep the cake from falling over, and then started to layer it with dark blue fondant.

Patton looked over at Janus. "Would you mind taking off the gloves? Sorry, but this is very delicate and I think you should use your bare hands."

Janus frowned. "I shouldn't. I have scales on my left hand, if I use it, it will leave a scale imprint on the fondant."

Patton blinked sadly at him. "Oh, ok."

Patton handled the fondant, and as he fit it into place, he thought the cake looked beautiful. "Only one thing left to do: DECORATE!!!"

Patton was an amazing decorator.

After years of theming cookies and cupcakes to each side, baking birthday cakes, and writing messages in crofters jelly for a scavenger hunt, Patton had a handle on how to make things look presentable. Right now, It was a giant 3-layer cake with blue fondant covering, but soon, it would be a masterpiece.

Janus coughed uncomfortably behind Patton. "Um... Since i'm not very good at this stuff... Can I go? I have my own present I wanted to work on."

Patton smiled at him. "Sure! Don't spoil anything to Lolo, ok?"

Deceit nodded and almost left the kitchen before turning back and saying, "Uh, hey, Patpat? Don't stress yourself out too much, 'Kay?"

Patton nodded back. "Of course."

Janus smiled, relieved, and left.

---

---

Patton was SO TIRED.

It was 8 in the morning on Logan's Birthday. Patton had worked all night on that cake and when he had finally finished it, he went right to bed without doing anything in between. He had just woken up, feeling groggy and confused, but he made himself get out of bed because it was Logan's special day.

Logan woke up that day happy. He knew that a birthday was pointless, it was a celebration of one year passing in an entities life, it made no logical sense. But if the other sides wanted to shower him with attention once per fricking year, he did not want to miss this chance.

Patton got out of bed the last out of all the others. Logan had woken up to the other four sides, Janus, Remus, Roman, and Virgil ready for him in the living room with gifts and treats. Logan had thought that Patton would be the first there, energized and grinning, the way he always was. But Patton was nowhere in sight.

When Patton did come out, he put on his best happy face and gave Logan the biggest hug he could muster. Logan smiled a little. "To this day, I swear, your hugs might suffocate someone!"

Patton laughed and grinned at him, just happy he had gotten through yesterday.

First, they made breakfast. Jan made waffles with crofters jelly and eggs, and they all sat around the table reminiscing about the past. They talked about when logan first got his glasses, when he had a stutter, and everything else that Patton could remember. Which was everything, since Patton kept every memory stored in his room.

Next, they had gifts. Roman gave him a lab in the imagination; with chemistry sets, a telescope, and books upon books upon books. It was his own little area in Roman's realm so Logan could enjoy himself every now and then. Virgil gave him a dictionary of every word in the world, in every language. Janus gave him a replica of the Library of Alexandria, with all of the scrolls and books still there. "The original one was burned down with all of it's knowledge," he said, "So here is-" "OH MY GOD I LOVE IT THANK YOU!" Remus gave Logan an animal to dissect. But it wasn't a real animal, it was something Remus had made to give Logan something to do.

Patton promised Logan that his gift would come after dinner. He felt as though his cake paled in comparison to all of the gifts his friends had given. I mean, the Library of Alexandria? Patton sunk lower in his chair.

After gifts, they had lunch in a beautiful field that Roman had created, where the flies ate grass instead of your food, and every bird was adorned with beautiful shimmering colors and tail feathers. They had PB&J sandwiches (with crofters, of course), Goldfish, and apples. They talked for hours about nothing in particular, every now and then asking Roman about the creatures that walked by.

Logan was having a great time, but something seemed off. He looked around at the group and his eyes settled on Patton. The more he looked at him, the more tired he seemed. Logan noticed shadows under Patton's eyes for the first time, and saw that his smile was beginning to look more and more forced. Logan began to worry that one of them had done something wrong. The usual bundle of joy and energy that was Patton looked a lot more docile and tired than before.

Once it started to get dark (because Roman had set a day-night cycle in the imagination just so they would know when to go) they went back to the commons for dinner. Janus cooked some brown sugared ham with peas and rice, while Patton left to get the cake ready.

As Patton walked into the kitchen, he took a look at the cake on the pedestal. Dark fondant with baby blue frosting in swirls, and a little fondant necktie decoration on the second tear to tease about Logan's necktie. The name "Logan" was scribbled in white frosting on top.

He remembered the tall pillars in the Library of Alexandria Jan had made, he remembered the sparkling equipment Roman had conjured. He remembered the giant dictionary, the animal-

Patton looked at the cake and sighed. He honestly didn't know what he was thinking. But this was what he had done. He would just have to work with it, and maybe make up for it with a different gift later.

He picked up the large cake in his arms. It was very heavy, and there was one whole room between the kitchen and the dining room; the living area. Patton just had to bring it over.

He left the kitchen with the cake, and he was doing well with it considering he couldn't see his feet, and then he tripped.

...and then he tripped.

His foot caught against something on the ground and he stumbled, causing the cake to drop out of his arms and onto the floor. It fell sideways, and broke upon impact, and the cake broke up on the floor. Bits and pieces everywhere. Patton had fallen, and he had scraped his elbow, but he didn't care. He didn't care anymore.

He had spent a whole god-forsaken day trying to get this right. He remembered Roman's singing, Virgil's shaky hands, Remus's eating habits, Janus' scales, and he could feel himself sinking into the ground. He just wanted this to be perfect. Logan deserved something perfect.

The cake was broken, and the world was quiet, and Patton wondered for a moment if he had gone deaf. The Mindscape was silent. He felt the tears on his cheeks, but he didn't cry. Patton was the joyful and happy side, so he didn't cry. Water fell from his eyes in waterfalls and rivers across his skin, but he wasn't crying, that's not how he worked. Even when sobs racked his body and made his chest hurt. He wasn't crying.

It was just a god forsaken cake, why the heck was he crying? It was just a cake. It was just a cake.

Shoot, this isn't ABOUT THE CAKE.

Logan and all the other sides sat in the dining room, talking happily about whatever came to mind. Patton had left to get the cake, but he hadn't come back yet. Logan had eaten his dinner and was now staring at the door. He tried to focus on the conversation, but he thought Patton seemed a little late.

"Hey, Nerd, whatcha' looking at?" Roman asked, walking up behind his chair, bending down, and following Logan's line of sight.

Logan didn't turn his gaze from the door. "I feel like Pat should have been back by now. Actually, Roman, maybe you could check on him?"

Behind Logan's back, Roman and Virgil exchanged a glance, and Roman understood immediately.

"Actually, Lo, maybe you should go check on him? It is your cake after all."

Logan stood up from his chair and walked out of the dining room. "I suppose so."

Virgil snickered. "Oh my god, he is so oblivious. I ship them so badly..."

Logan walked out of the dining room and almost choked.

Patton was on the floor, with his hands in his face. Was he crying? Patton didn't cry. He was too happy to cry. He was too fricking perfect to cry. WHO THE HECK MADE PAT CRY?

Then logan saw the floor. The cake, he realized, was broken up and smashed to bits on the ground. The fondant was ripped apart, save for a small black fondant necktie. Patton must have dropped the cake. It looked like it had been big.

Logan didn't hesitate for a second. He kneeled down beside Patton, wrapping his arms around him and quietly letting him sob.

Patton felt someone's arms around him, and they had glasses, he knew, because the glasses were pressed against his temple. But that meant it was Logan. Logan was here, and he can see the cake, and he is probably so mad. Patton wrapped his arms around Logan and cried into his shoulder. He didn't like Logan to be angry. Hugs fixed that. Right?

"Pat? Patton, don't cry, what's wrong?"

Patton could barely find the breath to speak.

"I-I dropped it. The thing... I-I mess-Messed up... It's all g-gone..."

"Shhhh. Shhh, it's not your fault, don't worry. Patton, I love the cake. It's looks like it was beautiful, thank you."

Patton just kept sobbing, his glasses getting foggy. Logan knew the side was emotional, but really, it was just a cake, and Logan wasn't even mad at Patton. In fact, Logan didn't think he was capable of being mad at Patton.

Patton was sad about the cake. Of course, it was horribly destroyed, and he had spent a long, tiresome day making it perfect. And now it was all gone, and Patton had no gift to give.

To Pat, this was bigger than that though. Logan was supposed to have the perfect birthday, but Patton had messed all of that up. He had nothing to give logan. Every day of his life, his goal was to give something, to be helpful, and to care for others. He had messed up today.

"I-i don't know wh-what to do. I just... I just wanted-d to g-give you something. I-It's a-all gone n-now. Th-the d-day is ruined."

Logan frowned. What would someone with a better sense of emotions say? Seeing Patton like this made him so sad, what could he do?

He remembered something Pat had said to him a long time ago, when he was getting used to emotions. 'When someone is feeling down, speak from the heart! The best thing you can do is tell them the truth, and if they don't like it, then they have a right to feel a little sad. But you should still try!'

"Pat, I know you are sad. I understand that you wanted to make this a good day, but it WAS a good day. I enjoyed every moment of today. Sure, the cake is messed up, but it's the thought that counts, and you are already the best gift I could ask for."

Patton looked up in confusion. "Me?"

Logan was usually really bad at emotions, but right now, emotions seemed to be all he could muster. "You are so caring and joyful. And sweet. And kind. And I don't care about the cake, or any gift you give me, the fact that you are so set on making me feel cared for is enough. I'm just happy you're here, ok?"

Logan brushed a tear from Patton's eye and smiled. "I'm just happy you're here."

[thr-333]

Could you possibly do one where Mari/Mari and marine is/are the daughter/son of the joker?

I actually planned quite a lot for this after you asked but could never get my thoughts to make something comprehensive so I give up here's what I got!:

-Twins are Joker and Harleys kids born before the two split up(and so help me they will split up this story needs gay aunt Ivy)

-As you might know, these two clowns have another kid; Lucy. Harley left Lucy with her sister when she was born. In canon, she thinks Harley is her aunt but I would say in this fic she learned the truth when the twins were also dropped off.

-So the twins grew up in Gotham with their aunt and big sister knowing full well who their parents are; as such they make the responsible choice to suppress every part of themselves that resembles them and constantly dye their hair in an effort to avoid looking like them. You know healthy coping mechanisms. -

-Naturally, Marinette has brown hair with blue eyes and Marion blonde with brown eyes.

-Their personalities are a bit different from Mismatch. 

-Marion is still a trickster and a trouble maker but this time around has Marinette fully involved and responsible for his shenanigans. He has a bit of a habit of talking to himself(or singing random phrases), sometimes in the third person; he hates when he does, so Marinette always tells him off. He’s always gets the impulse of dying his hair outlandish colors and will vehemently deny his favorite color is green.

- Marinette is crafty, both figuratively and literally. She’s smart, her mother is a doctor after all she can be manipulative to people that arent her(close) family to protect the ones she cares about. She has a deep-seated fear of becoming a trophy, an object to be put on display like her mother and so dresses the opposite and pushes away her love for fashion.

-They will always call each other Mari but if someone else tries they both answer its a nickname they strictly use for each other.

-In a world where Gotham exists it makes absolutely no sense that Gabriel wouldn't start his reign as Hawkmoth in Gotham(the place with the most negative emotions like geez) so that works out perfectly for the twins becoming heroes(Adrien can move to Gotham or be left in Paris to be kept safe your choice)

-Instead of the twins proving themselves by helping an old man up off the street they go a step further is beating up the thugs that try to rob him(all Fu’s set up of course). When they come home to find two mysterious boxes on their beds they make the only rational conclusion children of the joker would; it’s a bomb!

-Not wanting to get the police involved for obvious reasons they find the security footage(which gets the police involved in a different way) and start tracking down fu to see why he’s trying to kill him.

-And as you may recall at this point in canon Ladybug and Chat Noir are defeating an Akuma, well they're not here they’re off to beat up an old man so thats Batman’s job for the time being.

-The twins get caught up in the fight as civilians and are saved by Batman who immediately recognizes them(you don't think Batman has case files on all of Jokers hellspawn?) so that’s gonna be a problem later but never mind that for now~

-The twins track down Fu, who is wondering why they aren’t out fighting the Akuma. Long story short Fu comes back to the house with them and proves they aren't bombs giving them the miraculous.

-I’m a bit indecisive on the names. I thought Marinette would be Red Bug and Marion Black Cat(yes I know that names already taken I don’t care). But I thought Crimson Bug would work better because then their names would start with the same letters. Then I wanted alliteration like Black Bug and Crimson Cat but that obviously doesn't make any sense since Chats color is green not red-- then I realized it would be completely in character for them to call themselves that confusing everyone in the process so no one quite sure whos name is who(if you wanna write it go with whatever I just thought it could be funny)

-As for costumes Marinette's probably wouldn't be skin tight because deep down she really doesn't want to look like that but more practical armor or less form-fitting at least. Marion's hair turns green when he transforms something he freaks out about and Marinette's turns red(glowing or not either would look cool)

-So anyway they go off to defeat the akuma blah blah blah Batman seeing these two young untrained superheroes can only think of one thing: I have to adopt them. So that’s gonna be fun!

-Anyway they go back home trying to be sneaky and immediately get caught by Lucy: ”Don’t tell Aunty!”-- ”Oh I already know” (her names Delia by the way)

- So now the twins get a support system and a family that will look out for them unbelievable right? This support system immediately threatens Fu making sure he actually trains them and doesn't just set them loose on Gotham.

Anyway that's the end of my semi-cohesive plan and here's a vague outline for the fic:

1. Becoming ladybug and chat noir setting up adoption, and school(Bruce invites them to Gotham academy to keep an eye on the jokers children)

2. First day at school setting up Artemis(and by extension young justice), and own passions, Adrien is also at this school now so Marinette falls, Jason finds out falling in love with Marion

3. Becoming friends with Artemis, convinces them to give their passions a try, Marion runs from hood, some let me adopt you stuff also Jason's spite for Cat Noir

4. Skip a bit of time a few months or so, young justice need help Artemis suggest mari and mari, Marinette has a smackdown with batman about their heritage, at odds with young justice Artemis comes to their defense. Young Justice have an ‘oh’ realization on the job when Marion sings a lullaby to a scared child, now the young justice form the mari and mari protection squad

5. Doing ladybug and cat stuff batman approaches them again this time luring them into adoption with a partnership on finding hawkmoth, Red Hood and cat fight. Marion comes back all huffy and there's a scene with Lucy this time comforting them, Marion goes out to get air runs into hood marion bristles stirring Jason to meet him as a civilian, class come to visit, at odds with lila

6. Doing well at school even made a few friends when the Paris class come to visit completely under lila’s control, lila tries to slander the twins for not worshiping her only to out herself when she tells everyone they laughed at her(the twins never laugh), Jason also drops by further discrediting her, lila tries to throw their heritage in their face but they get support openly working with heroes as civilians, this little section ends quite happily with them being sort of accepted at school and batman tolerating their existence for not attacking the person who tried to make their life miserable

7. Time skip few years out of high school now, ladybug and cat are working well with gothams vigilantes widely considered part of the batfam even if no one knows each other's identities. As mari and mari they are doing good work mainly outside of gotham. Marinette is starting a fashion boutique with a little financial help from Wayne enterprises she also does costume design for heroes and villains, villains mainly because she can't stand their current outfits. Marion quite likes his music but isn't sure how he will feel in the public eye is great friends with Jason and the skip picks up with them officially starting to go out identities unknown. They are still hesitant about their identities in civilian life Marinette starting her business under a false name and Marion cant start his because of his heritage. Jason officially has to admit they are going out to the family is met with grilling by aunt and sister, joy by harley once she tries giving them sex advice they leave, his brothers tease and both are tense about Bruces reaction but he begrudgingly accepts. Are out as ladybug and Cat still snippy with hood but it’s not as bad they are closing in on hawkmoth. Go to hang out with young justice as well they aren't well-liked in Gotham but they’re fine with that(not really)

8. NOW things can go to shit joker finally has enough of them deciding to get a hold of them but I think it should be as ladybug and chat revealing their identities to the world. The twins are terrified rightfully so. Get saved now it’s weird between hood and marion, marion feeling betrayed Jason knew who he was and knew who his father was but still decided to date him and he just can't understand why. Adrien was so scared for Marinette and now they both have to work out why. Gotham is at odds the heroes they admire are born from a villain they fear. Bats are a bit weird feeling like they were tricked while also kind of acknowledging the twins are good people

9. Harassed in their everyday life now the twins go to young justice where they get met with awe for being established independent heros, bats there are acting weird but the twins say something to shift perspective leaving to let them mull on it. Jason tries to apologise saying he doesn't see Marion like that blah blah Marion has a breakdown asking how he can be anything but a villain. Marinette's having whiplash going from loved to hated and still dealing with the trauma of seeing her father. They snap. In public a big ol scene and they get akumatised everyone sees it, it’s on tv. Hawkmoth comes out to get their miraculous the batfam can’t beat him. He’s monolouging probing at their deepest fears when they snap back to reality realizing none of it’s true every part of them has worked to be good people and they are they don't hand over their miraculous beating the akumatizaton and beating hawkmoth while akumatised.

10. They are released from the hospital a few days later, getting hesitant recognition on the streets. It's not thunderous applause but it is something. Their family comes to pick them up, Adrien is crying to Marinette about not scaring him like that(her family took him in when Gabriel was revealed). Marion gets picked up by Jason they patch things over. They get accepted into the batfam and work as ladybug and cat for everything. Marion decides to start playing music and Marinette reveals her face to her fashion brand.

[oikawa-tuwu]

🍬 Halloween Candy 🍬

Pairing: Gn!Reader x Tendou Satori

Rating: T

Synopsis: Tendou watches you make Halloween candy and thinks about love and the joys Halloween. Post-time skip, established relationship. (1.8k words)

Warnings: One swear, mentions of past bullying, dealing with insecurity things

(A/N: lol remember when I said I was going on hiatus?? Yeah so I was making hard candy last night and was literally slaughtered in the middle of boiling the sugar when I remembered that Tendou is a chocolatier so my lonely, Halloween-loving, and candy making self wrote this self indulgent thing. Enjoy, but its kind of a mess D: )

-

Tendou Satori’s favorite holiday is, without a doubt, Halloween.

There’s nothing quite like the buzz in the air of a brisk October 31st, children in costumes, ready to consume ungodly amounts of sugar, teenagers giggling as they leave a haunted house, only to turn right around with more cash in hand. Even adults get into the festivities, using the holiday as an excuse to drink copious amount of booze.

Its indulgent and its creepy and Tendou loves it with all of his heart.

In the past, if someone were to ask him why he liked Halloween so much, he'd just laugh and say he had a sweet tooth, because really, he didn't know how to articulate the joy that he gets from costumes. He could remember, as a kid, gleefully skipping down the aisles of a shop, flipping through the mass produced costumes on the rack until he found the perfect one.

The ones that came with masks were always a plus, too.

He supposes, looking back on it, Halloween was his favorite holiday because it was the one day where being “creepy” benefited him. It was on-brand, in-season, like the pecan pies that sit neglected in the summer months before being sold out by mid-November. And even if his hair or his gaze or his height was still terrifying, it was easier to hide behind a Batman mask. Perhaps it wasn’t a healthy way of coping, but somewhere along the way, he’d learned. He’d grown, and shifted, and costumes weren’t his favorite part of Halloween anymore.

No. This is his favorite part of Halloween. The build up to the day in question, preparing for the hordes of children coming to his apartment door, and you, standing in his kitchen, holding a candy thermometer.

It had been your idea at first, to make the candy at home and give it to the trick or treaters, rather than just handing out store bought. Of course, getting homemade candy from a stranger is usually a red-flag for parents, but not if said stranger is a somewhat C-list celebrity chocolatier, as you so kindly put it.

And it was true. There was some hesitation at first, but after a moment of putting together his face, the name on his apartment door, and the clearly professional design on the bags, parents were much more willing to accept the treats. Now, it’s a tradition of the apartment complex, and last year, he ran out of candy by 7 PM.

“You need to make more next year,” you had said, with a sort of confident finality that made him laugh. “Don’t you feel bad for the kids who got there just a little late?”

Did he feel bad?

Now that was an interesting question.

The thing was, he had been that kid. He’d gotten the short straw in life and it had been up to him to make something of it, even when others decided to cut the straw even shorter just for fun.

With an amused glint in his eye, he watches as you lean down, narrowing your eyes to read the fine print of instructions on your phone.

The kitchen is a mess, there’s no way around it, and although he’s deemed you proficient enough to be trusted with his equipment based on your past attempts at culinary efforts, he can tell you feel out of your league as you stir the molten sugar. Your cheeks are flushed from the heat and he’s certain there’s a few more hairs sticking out of place than there were ten minutes ago. Still, you square your shoulders and crack your knuckles as you read the temperatures, one oven mitt armored hand bracing the handle of the pot, and he idly thinks that the apron is officially his favorite piece of clothing on you.

Apparently, you didn't hear the door open and close, because your eyes are still trained on the soon-to-be caramel, and you let out a frustrated, "Why won't this sugar caramelize already?"

"It's stubborn like that."

He always expects you to jump at his voice. Somehow, you never do. Instead, your eyes flick up to him where he hovers in the entry-way, the barest of a smile gracing your lips.

"Welcome home," you say, pulling your eyes away from him to peek at the candy thermometer's temperature. "I feel like this sugar has been at 240° for way too long, is that normal?"

Tendou clicks his tongue, daring to venture further into the candy coated mess. "You have to be patient."

"Funny, coming from you," you smirk, but he notices the way the tension in your shoulders relax, and deep down, he knows he doesn't have the fight to even try to feel offended.

Still, he scoffs and leans against the counter next to you and puts the effort into looking offended, one hand fingering through the petals of the dying roses in a vase. "I'll have you know, I'm a very patient person."

You just give him a look. That look, specifically, with the skeptical eyebrow and wry tilt in the corner of your mouth. The look that always managed to see right through him, reaching in and sorting through each and every memory and quirk and thought and yet still managed to say I love you at the end of the night with a genuine smile.

Tendou knows you. He knows you, understands you, memorized the posture of your sleep deprivation, the quick bite of your words when you wait too long to eat dinner, the strange laugh that, to be honest, sounds more like a car backfiring, when a joke catches you particularly off your guard.

But also, on a much deeper level, he didn't understand you at all.

Why had you chosen him? Was it for the same reason you brought those half-dead roses home, saying, with a self-conscious flush, that they looked sad, dying all alone in the shop.

Was he those flowers? Bruised and beat-up and something to take pity on?

"You're too quiet," you muse, and Tendou realizes that he had been too quiet for much too long, the only sounds coming from the boiling sugar and the soft music playing over a speaker in the corner. "What's wrong?"

He doesn't know how to phrase his insecurities out loud like that, doesn't know if he even should, so instead, he asks, "Am I the roses?"

For a moment, you're silent, and he can see the way you're processing his words, toying with them until you figure out whatever metaphor or inside joke he's referencing. "I would say you're more of a lily guy, if that's what you're asking."

His next question is more blunt. "Why do you like me?"

This one surprises you. He can tell from the way you blink, just once, but also the slight curvature of your eyebrows. He wonders how long it's been since this expression was used in reaction to him.

"I don't understand," you say, finally. "Love and attraction are virtually indescribable emotions that poets and writers spend their lives trying to capture. I don't know why, exactly, but I do know that I enjoy being around you. You make me laugh, and my heart feels happy when I see you walk through that door. Isn't that enough?"

It should be, but Tendou has bad impulse control, and he can't stop the next words from falling out.

"But I'm weird."

The word weird sounds trivial. Weird is the word that girls who dye their hair and listen to indie music and post cryptic pictures on Instagram call themselves, not him. Maybe freak would have been a better word.

"And I don't like the sound of my laugh. We've all got insecurities, things that the rest of the world doesn't like about us so they force us to not like it about us. I know my voice is fine and there's nothing particularly ugly or abnormal about it when I giggle, but I can't help from hating it."

"I like your laugh," he says, and by speaking it aloud, he knows it's true, like whispering a spell that only makes him fall more in love.

"Exactly. And I like you. Weird bits and all. Keeps things interesting."

And just like that, it's gone. It shouldn't be this easy, to dismiss his fears like that, just a few confident words and a smile and suddenly years of his childhood and upbringing are null in comparison to you.

The sugar boils.

As he watches, you leave the almost-caramel on the stove to search for the pan to put it in to cool, already greased and ready for the molten sugar. It's a significantly bigger pan than last year.

When you notice his gaze, you say, "I wasn't joking about making more this year."

Tendou grins.

In high school, Ushijima briefly had a girlfriend. A cheerleader, if Tendou was remembering correctly. He wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't, he didn't pay much attention to her. But, one day, he walked past the gym and found the two of them. Ushijima was teaching her how to serve. Now, Tendou knew Ushijima was a strange person. The only thing he cared about was volleyball and his comically stoic, social ineptitude is what bonded them in the first place, but still, Tendou remembered thinking that bringing your date on your day off to play volleyball was really weird.

But, he supposed, now he understood, as one of your hands reached over to clasp his, the other, still stirring the sugar. He understood before that want, no, the need to share a passion with the one you love.

He squeezes your hand. Absent-mindedly, you squeeze back. And then he squeezes back and you squeeze back and back and forth and back and forth, until you realize the temperature hit the blessed 340° and now you're swearing like it's a prayer, oven mitt hand clasping the pot handle and pouring and hoping it didn't actually burn and-

-

The candies last until 8 PM this year.

He watches you hand the last one over to a kid dressed like some vaguely tropey children's superhero, watches that soft smile slowly warning whatever chill leeches in from the open door.

A wave and a nod to the child's mother later, you slowly shut the door, grin lingering still moments later. You turn to him, that determined gleam in your eye, and say, "We're making more next year."

Tendou laughs. "Fuck no."

But then you smile again, and he knows he can't say no, and, internally, he's already working on a timeline to get all the candy ready by the 31st.

And for some reason, the only thing he can think of is the we in your statement, and it cuts right into his heart faster than a knife as you pull him close and the words just seem to slip out faster than a well-greased cake pan.

-

"I love you."

-

"I love you too."

-

(A/N: Happy Halloween, nerds. Nowwww back to hiatus)

[hvlfwygod]

aquaman | griffin, zoey & reid

summary: does anyone even knock anymore? tw: teen angst

Griffin was on Zoey's couch, and Aquaman was playing on her TV, but he wasn't watching. Instead, he was angled toward Zoey, awkwardly leaning, kissing her. They'd started without really discussing it, and he hadn't had the time to adjust his position in a way that was more comfortable or even remotely cool. But he didn't really want to stop for long enough to shift, so he just dealt with the weird angle and the quiet protest in his back.

It was like this every time he came over now. No, they never talked about it, but it was more an unspoken rule at this point. They start movie, or a TV show, or maybe a game. It didn't really matter, because whatever they did they hardly ever finished. (He could still feel the ghost indents of the Battleship pieces pressed into his hand when they started making out before clearing it away.) At least the couch was soft and his shoes were off so he could, if he wanted, tuck his legs up and make himself more comfortable and— did he always think this much while he was kissing her? He could never remember, everything always blanketed out into white noise by this point. Griffin pulled back for a breath, and he quickly rolled his shoulders as he pressed into her lips again.

Zoey was in an apparently more comfortable position than Griffin, not at all bothered by the explosions in the background. She was always tempted to turn off the movies or shows that they had running, since it was pretty obvious that neither of them were actually interested in watching them, but the idea of kissing in silence was weird, and she wasn’t quite desperate enough yet to make a make out playlist.

She ran her fingers through his hair before she snuck them under the hem of his shirt at the back of his neck, and felt satisfaction curl in her stomach at the contact. How lame. She moved unconsciously towards him as he pulled away, felt dumb, and made a small, pleased sound as he kissed her again. She hoped that Griffin would react to it positively instead of making fun of her; something he hadn’t done yet but something Zoey feared any time she gave him opportunity.

“Ten minutes is enough of a heads up, right?” Reid didn’t wait for an answer, not like they’d get one from Koa anyway. The enormous dog just kept chewing on one of his toys. They grabbed the boxes of hair dye on the kitchen counter and checked their hair in the mirror, admiring Devin’s 2am handiwork. Taking a few steps, Reid reached the kitchen door, checked their phone one last time, and disappeared.

It was dark. And fuzzy. “Which way is the— fuck. Where’s the door?” Reid grumbled, pushing past clothing until they bumped their shoulder into the closet door.

He made a small, pleased sound in return to Zoey’s, his own hand moving tentatively from her thigh to the small of her back. He paused there, trying to decide without pulling away where his line was. He liked it when she splayed her fingers along his neck, so maybe she would, too… But before he could continue, he heard something. Maybe he was imagining it, but Griffin heard the faintest thump from… somewhere. Further in the apartment? Reluctantly he pulled back, just long enough to ask, “Did you hear…?” But he didn’t wait for an answer before he was kissing her again.

Zoey moved closer at Griffin’s touch. Maybe one day she’d tell him about how much she wanted to bottle up the sound that he just made, but any opportunity she’d had was never taken. If she ever said that out loud, it would be so embarrassing that she’d combust on the spot. She looked at him through a heavy lidded gaze when he spoke, and realized that she made a mistake immediately. He was gorgeous and she wanted to make him pay for it. Too focused on the task at hand to process his question or any distant sounds, she moved her hand to his jaw, and pulled away this time to kiss Griffin’s neck.

A pair of Zoey’s sunglasses sat askew atop Reid’s head as they burst into the common area. They threw out their arms, calling to their best friend. “Honey, I’m hooo—“ Zoey was on the couch, tangled up with— “-ly SHIT. Griffin?” Reid’s hands flew up to block out the euphoric expression on Griffin’s face before it was burned into their retinas. “MY EYES!” They wailed, turning away from the couch.

He knew he heard something. As soon as he was recovering from the near-euphoria of Zoey’s kiss against his neck, he heard an ungodly yell. The first thing he did was scowl. Something that piercing and grating didn’t belong in this moment. And then, his mind caught up with him and he leaned backwards, but not by much. The scowl remained, and he glared at Reid, hoping they felt it through their hand. “Dude!”

It was a lot to process at once. The yelling began once her lips met Griffin’s skin, and in a moment of panic, she pulled away. And then Zoey realized that it was not Griffin yelling but her teleporting best friend. Better? Not by much. She felt the heat rising up from her chest all the way to the top of her head. For a single, horrible moment, she was afraid that she might cry in front of Reid and Griffin. Instead, she pressed her hand to her forehead and laughed.

One arm over their face, vision obscured, Reid turned back around. “Dude? Dude!” They did their best to jab a finger in Griffin’s direction, but completely missed the mark, pointing a few inches too far to the right. “What are you doing?! Zed, blink twice if you need help.”

"Oh my gods," Griffin grumbled, rubbing a hand over his eyes. He just wanted to go back to kissing, but Reid of course had to ruin everything. Zoey's laughter only grated him further, and he felt his whole body getting way too warm. "She doesn't need— can you leave?" Griffin crossed his arms over his chest.

Zoey sucked in a short breath before laughing again, Reid’s appearance and continued reaction getting the better of her. She finally contained herself, rubbed the space between her eyes, and sighed. “Can we, like,” She wasn’t really sure which one she was speaking to or where she was going with the sentence, but she felt pretty swindled by the fact that she didn’t get the teleportation powers that her friends did, because then this wouldn’t be a problem for her anymore. “Let’s just– look, let’s,” she kept expecting the rest of the sentence to fill itself in. She groaned and pressed her fingers into the space below her eyes. “Can we just, like, Reid, can you give me like, ten minutes?”

“Can you leave?” Reid countered, crossing their arms. Eyes still screwed shut, they turned in the direction of Zoey’s voice. “I gave you ten minutes already.” Their voice sounded whiny, even to their ears, and Reid scrunched their nose in distaste. “Didn’t you get my text? I thought we were doing my hair. Is that still, like, on the table?” They tried to point at Griffin again but this time their aim was a few inches too high. “Or did you knock it off the table while you were eating each other’s faces off?” Reid shuddered dramatically.

The heat spread and got more intense, not only because of Reid, but also because it seemed to him that Zoey was planning to blow him off. He wasn't sure if he felt hurt or annoyed more. His jaw clenched and unclenched as something loud crashed on the TV screen. "I got here first," he grumbled." And then, louder: You texted her and she didn't answer and you came anyway?" The acid was clear in his tone. "Who does that?"

“The one fucking time I’m not on my phone,” Zoey huffed. She’d picked up a nearby pillow and was running her hands over it. “Dude, you can open your eyes, we’re literally just sitting here.” She turned the pillow and ran her hands in a different direction. They hadn’t set a specific time for hair coloring, and she didn’t think that it would end up a problem. She was going to request that they push it back a few hours, but frowned as Griffin spoke. “Woah, dude, chill out.”

Reid twitched slightly at the sound from the TV. A scowl passed over their face. Opening one eye, they squinted at Griffin. “I got here first.” Mimicry was not Reid’s strong suit but it was clear that they were poking fun at Griffin. “Yikes, did you really say that?”  They had been about to offer to give the couple (ew)  some space for a few minutes but the way Griffin was talking to them frayed on Reid’s nerves.  It felt good to have Zoey back them up— even if she had been sucking face with Griffin, at least she wasn’t blind to the fact that he could be a dick. There was another loud sound from the TV and Reid finally opened their other eye, face turned towards the screen. They jabbed a finger in its direction, taking the excuse to turn away from the couch. “You made Aquaman witness that too? Eugh. A crime.”

"What?" Griffin looked to Zoey this time, his nostrils flaring as she turned on him, too. Hurt flashed across his features, but then he just looked annoyed yet again. "Are you actually—" He didn't know how to continue without turning this into even more of a disaster, so his mouth just hung open while Reid continued, pointing now to the TV screen. Eventually he pressed his lips together, then grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. "Happy?" He tossed the remote back on the table then sank into the couch, his head dropping into the back cushion. "Didn't realize this was so..." That, too, he didn't know how to finish, so he didn't.

Zoey glared back at Griffin. “You can’t–“ But her jaw twitched as Reid continued, and the background noise and distraction was cut. She made a disgruntled sound and threw the pillow across the room, vaguely in Reid’s direction, but there wasn’t enough force to actually pose a threat of hitting anything but their ankles. “Stop acting like you don’t walk in on Devin and her fucking pick me boyfriend doing way worse. At least this is my place. I’ll do whatever the fuck I want in front of Aquaman.”

Reid raised their eyebrows slightly at Griffin, the room feeling too quiet now without the buzz of the movie in the background. "Son of a shit," they muttered, not caring if he heard them. The pillow Zoey had thrown collided with one of Reid's ratty Converse and settled limply on the floor. "Ow," they deadpanned, looking over at her. Immediately their face screwed up in an expression of disgust. "Don't remind— Yuck. Okay, yeah, and it's awful every time. I have to ask Logan if he can wipe my memory like he's one of the Men in Black but he hasn't yet." They shrugged, jamming their hands into the pockets of their jacket. It would be easier to leave, since their dramatic reaction had been less funny than Reid had thought it would be. But leaving meant that Griffin was getting what he wanted so they stayed where they stood, waiting to see if Zoey would ask them to go again.

His jaw clenched again at the mention of Eli, and he sat up again, this time glaring at Zoey. "Dude. If I can't talk back to Reid when they're the one who walked in on us, then you, neither of you," he swung his angry stare to Reid and then back to Zoey, "can talk shit about my friend." He didn't want to be the one to leave, but the longer he sat here, the less he wanted to stick around. "I think I should go," he grumbled, but still he didn't rise from his seat.

Griffin had a fair point, Zoey guessed, but she was too angry about the situation to admit that. Her eyes burned as she watched him. She didn’t want him to leave, but the fact that he hadn’t actually moved to do so riled her up until she was the first one to stand. “Cool, take your time thinking about it.” She walked around the back of the couch so that she wouldn’t have to pass Griffin on the way to her bedroom, and kept her gaze on the door so that she didn’t glare at Reid as she passed them. “Just–“ She opened and closed her mouth but just made an exasperated sound as she slipped into her room and slammed the door behind her.

The desire to say 'yeah, maybe you should' was so strong, Reid had to turn away to avoid making the situation worse. They closed their eyes, tilting their face upwards as they inhaled through their nose. Zoey's retreating footsteps were expected, as was the following slam of the door. The look they cut in Griffin's direction was icy. It's message was clear: look what you did. Reid took a few steps down the hall, their voice drifting through the cabin as they knocked on Zoey's door. "Zed?" It would be easier to use their powers and pop into the room but, with the way the day was going, Reid decided against it. "Zed, you dramatic ass Leo. Come back out here, this is your house."

Griffin felt the slam of Zoey’s door through his whole body. He stood as soon as she was gone, all the pent up energy escaping through his limbs as he stalked around, picking up his things. He sneered at Reid once he noticed their accusatory look. “This is all your fault,” he sniped, returning the blame right back to them. And even though they were already walking away, he continued, speaking to their back. Somehow he seemed to be getting even angrier with every word he spoke. “Thanks for always making my life a little worse. You suck.” He ground his teeth together as Reid spoke to the closed door, evidently ignoring him. He couldn’t believe Zoey was picking them over him. “Yeah!” he shouted, hoping she heard from her room. “The gross boy is leaving so it’s safe!” Suddenly, the strap to his backpack broke clean in half, and the bag crashed to the floor. Griffin glared at it, confused and frustrated that nothing seemed to be going his way, then quickly snatched it back up and then stormed out.

Zoey pressed her back to the door and slid down it to the floor. She felt like screaming, but apparently not everyone knew that slamming a door meant that an argument was over, Zoey wasn’t actually available, try again later. She pressed her palms into her eyes until she heard Griffin make his exit. “Go. Away!” She brought her fist down against the door with the second word, hoping that it covered up the shake in her voice. “Just fucking leave, Reid. Like, literally get the fuck out.”

He couldn't see it, but Reid rolled their eyes at Griffin's words. When his backpack crashed to the floor, they snorted. He deserved it for the way he'd spoken to them. The tension only left their shoulders when he stormed out.  Zoey's words, however, were a different matter entirely. A defeated groan rose in the back of their throat and Reid tapped the door twice with the side of their hand, almost too softly to make a sound. "I'm going," they said quietly, already heading for the door as the past ten minutes replayed in their head.

[restlessmaknae]

promises for pride - present days

Beware of promises. You never know what they might turn you into.

Also; the downfall of a prince and his way of becoming one of the Seven Deadly Sins.

♦ Characters: pride!Seokjin x humility!OC

♦ Genre: demon au, seven deadly sins au, pride au, historical, angst, drama

♦ Words: 13k

♦ Warning: mentions of blood, death and the usual historical stuff

♦ promises for pride: past days (first half) / present days (second half)

🙝 9 🙞

Present day

Kim Seokjin died on 14th April in 937, a year after Myungeun's death. After Hubaekje's annexation, the three kingdoms were finally united and he had been a king for more than a year and a half when he got shot during an unnecessary war between the new kingdom and Chang'an, the capital of Tang. He died on the spot as an arrow was shot through his heart. How ironic was his last thought before he fell to the ground and closed his eyes for one last time.

He didn't want to become a Sin; he was chosen to be one. He couldn't do anything though; he would suffer even more if he protested against the demons’ will. Nonetheless, since he was now the Pride himself, of course he wouldn't mess it up and face failure because that would make him feel unworthy of his title.

After all, Pride was said to be the most foremost and serious of the Seven Deadly Sins. Pride was what changed angels into devils. It was the only Sin that had a virtuous side. Everyone knew that a well-balanced self-esteem was more of a gift than a curse but when people took it too far or they had the potential to take it too far, that's when his job started. Although the start was a bit like walking on a thorny road for him, he eventually managed to enjoy his life as a Sin and truth to be told, it couldn't have been better.

He saw as people turned into narcissist assholes who picked fights with everyone, merciless bosses who took their employees' diligence for granted, pedantic parents who set high expectations for their kids because they couldn't be satisfied with less than perfect and youngsters with dangerously corrupt selfishness who bullied their classmates because they thought that they had every right to bully them.

Humans were so easily manipulated. Seokjin didn't really have a hard time messing with their thoughts and vision. If whispering into their ears and living with them like a second voice weren’t sufficient enough, he would use mirrors as his ultimate weapon. He could make everyone believe that they were perfect, they were beautiful or handsome, they were loved and he could also make them see unrealistic (but undoubtedly seducing) alternatives.

Let's say that there was a girl with braces at the age of 13, feeling totally worthless. She convinced herself that she was ugly and fat and no one would love her thanks to the naughty comments that she got by her classmates. Yet, when Seokjin showed up, he made sure that she felt the opposite. She was special because she had braces and this way she would be even more beautiful. Therefore she's better than all her bullies. She can bully them now that she knows that she's better than them.

Note that Seokjin used tools to manipulate them but it was the girl that let him take over her thoughts and behaviour. He showed how she could change her life and instead of using his words only for self-comfort, she got carried away and totally turned the tables. If the human wasn't strong enough to say no to him, it was a piece of cake to play with their feelings and ruin their lives.

It would be an understatement to say that he was glad to play his role; he lived to be Pride. Just like his name suggests, he was more than happy to take everyone with him on an evil ride and show what happens at the end of the road; when you start to believe in yourself. Of course, with Seokjin's assistance, people believed in themselves too much but humans couldn't stop, they were just as obsessed with Pride as with food, money, appearance or achievements. It wasn't difficult to use them as his toys.

Luckily, Seokjin himself stayed as his 19-year-old self since he was only 19 years old when he died and Sins didn't age with time. If such a system hadn't existed, he would have been almost 1100 years old by now. He couldn't mind his young age at all because he knew that he wasn't a child anymore and none of the Sins looked at him as someone reckless or childish. They were perfectly aware of his passion for his Sin and they didn't look down on him. Not like they would have the right to do it.

After all, he was the most serious Sin. The first Pride was the one who turned Lucifer into Satan. Seokjin just made sure to get the demons’ hopes up. He motioned the French to start the revolution in 1789, he fuelled the communist policies of Mao Zedong which resulted in the Great Chinese Famine, he was the one who whispered into Stalin's ears to force the starvation genocide against the Ukraine which we commonly call by the name of Holodomor and he was there when the two world wars happened and even after when Jews were systematically murdered during the Holocaust. Of course, he was there every single time. He didn't fail his mission. He was Pride and pride was the number one reason why the most terrible events of human history took place.

There were only two tiny things that bothered him throughout those long years. One was that he still remembered all of his memories from his human life. He had heard that there was a Sin that had only blurry memories and couldn't really solve the puzzle of his life but he remembered it all. And he pitied himself, he pitied how weak, fragile and naive he used to be. He pitied how he had hoped that his brothers would change but they never did. He pitied how he couldn't overcome his anxiety and step on the throne earlier.

Besides pity, he didn't regret anything. Not even that one last war between Goryeo and Chang'na. Not even the annexing of Hubaekje and Silla. He was proud of what he had done and he was sure that if his father still lived, he would say that he was proud, too. Looking back now, he didn't even know why Myungeun had meant so much to him. Unfortunately, she couldn't see the big picture − that what he had done was for a greater purpose, it was for a stronger and bigger Goryeo. He re-wrote history yet she couldn't see it. He always felt a kind of hollowness when he thought of her but it was nothing compared to that devastating pain that he had experienced when he held her dead body in the middle of the battlefield.

The other thing that bothered him was the lack of company. He really didn't need a woman in his life to make him feel complete but he could use some company once in a while. All Sins were preoccupied with their own duties, they didn't have time to fool around and throw parties. (Maybe except Lust who literally ran a nightclub, so if we take that into consideration, he was always partying.) He enjoyed that he could dye his hair in whatever colour he wanted (he opted for cotton candy pink at that time) and try on whatever clothes he laid his eyes on, eat whatever food he wanted but it got boring after a while.

To spend his spare time, he liked to mess with some demons that were inferior to him. One of them was Lee Jaehwan who was actually a nice guy but he was such a blabbermouth, he always talked about gossips that didn't interest him. Not to mention that he couldn’t waste his precious time on nasty gossip. It would hurt his pride.

Yet, that day he could say something interesting that piqued the Sin’s curiosity.

"I have some news for you," Jaehwan bowed with respect as he approached Seokjin but the demon merely shrugged it off. Jaehwan was known to be an undercover demon who usually hung out with angels or the Virtues themselves because he really had the face of an angel and no one would suspect that he was actually a demon.

"I don't have lots of time now, so keep it to yourself until I get back," he patted Jaehwan's shoulder as he tried to pass by him but the other demon's words caught him off-guard. He didn't expect what kind of news he would really have.

"Your opposite Virtue, the pretty Humility is actually looking for you."

Frankly, he didn't imagine such news. Why on Earth was Humility looking for him? She was too good to even consider hurting him despite the fact that she could easily destroy him with a single touch of her hand. Okay, maybe not a single one but if an entirely selfless soul like the Virtue herself − or a human with the same abilities − touched him for a long time, it would feel like his whole body was on fire. It would destroy him.

However, due to the fact that Humility was a Virtue, killing a Sin would probably never even cross her mind, so why would she look for him?

Now, it was time to interrogate Jaehwan.

🙝 10 🙞

“What do you mean by looking for me?” Seokjin raised his eyebrows in question, apparently unable to process what he had just heard. The news was nonsense. Why on Earth (or in Hell) Humility would be searching for him? That made no sense.

“I don’t actually know,” the other demon shrugged. His features were manly and sharp and even though Pride was so much older than him, Jaehwan was actually older than him in human age, so it was a peculiar sight when they were talking and Jaehwan acted like a scaredy-cat besides the Sin.

Seokjin didn’t care about the age gap between him and other demons as he always emphasised that tiny little fact that he would at least stay young forever. By the way, he knew well that everyone envied his gorgeous face and well-built body. He was literally fine as Hell. He knew he looked astonishingly handsome, even some cheap female demons were chasing after him yet he ignored them every single time they tried to hit on him. Love wasn’t a definition for him, plus he didn’t want to waste his precious time on such pitiful things like romance. Only humans and weak-hearted demons did that but he wasn’t one of them.

“I’ve just passed by an angel who said that Humility was on edge lately because she couldn’t find someone whom she wanted to. Later, I heard that she was looking for you but God knows why?” he pouted in a deadpan manner, making Seokjin more than angry with his flat response.

Pride took a step closer to the taller guy and grabbed the collar of his shirt. Jaehwan’s eyes widened in fear, not to mention his cheeks that were almost on fire. Even his ears turned red when the Sin’s voice rose higher.

“You better snoop on her because I won’t believe you until you tell me why she’s after me,” he gritted his teeth, shaking his head in disbelief. Did that lower-class demon really dare to assume that he was interested in such gossip? Did he think that he had time for this?

He was a busy man, he was a Sin after all and nothing could indicate his excellence better than the fact that he had been a Sin for more than a thousand years. That was a huge accomplishment; neither of the previous Prides was as successful as him. One didn’t do his job properly and started behaving like a good person, so he was fired. One was distracted by the issues of his own descendants, so he held the record for the shortest period as a Sin while another one fell in love with a human and that particular human was so pure and selfless that her touch killed him.

Oh yes, if he forgot to mention, there was only one thing that could make him weak or even destroy him. That was the touch of an entirely selfless soul. Of course, it could only happen if the soul was absolutely and entirely selfless but it was just as rare as the times when Jin didn’t look good.

However, even if he was his demon self, there was still some risk that he could get hurt. If he happened to get in physical touch with any of the Virtues, he could seriously get hurt or even die if they touched him constantly for several minutes. The touch was almost like playing with fire; he literally felt like he got burnt when their arms brushed with his. He knew that by experience because when he started as a Sin he was so reckless that he wouldn’t believe in this whole “touch of an entirely selfless soul” garbage and looked for a Virtue on purpose to touch her. He still got the scar on his palm that he had obtained that day.

“O-of course, I’ll do that,” Jaehwan stuttered nervously and gulped. He tried to look away because he felt like the ground would consume him if their gazes met. That’s how mighty Seokjin’s look was.

“Good,” Pride boasted a satisfied grin and let him go. “Now, go! I don’t want to see you again until you find out why Humility is looking for me. Got it?” his voice resonated like it was the sound of the thunder, small wonder why the low-class demon shivered in fear. He looked like he could pass out in any minute but that was exactly the kind of reaction Seokjin wanted to get.

In the blink of an eye, Jaehwan nodded his head vigorously and disappeared into thin air. Pride was aiming for such a cowardly response, yet he was still quite proud of his confident confrontation. He could recall the times when he was only a weak, naïve little kid whom everyone liked to bully. He pitied that side of him so bad. His human self was one that he wished to forget. He hated how small and scared he was. How pathetic.

He was a coward and Myungeun was one to blame for it. If it wouldn’t be for his father’s last wish, he wouldn’t have overcome his pitifulness. Believing her promises was a mistake. Falling in love with her was a mistake. She caused more harm than good. She couldn’t see that he only wanted to unite the kingdoms and create something stronger than Silla, Hubaekje and Goryeo by themselves. If she had given in, he wouldn’t have to take over Hubaekje using violence and shedding blood. It was all her fault.

At least, that’s what he said to himself. That’s how he tried to suppress his guilt and human emotions. However, as a Sin, it was inevitable that he thought differently of his human life. Becoming one of those high-class demons required a lot of personal traits that even criminals didn’t possess. Sins had to make something awful to become one. Kim Seokjin killed thousands of innocent people just to nourish his pride and unite the three kingdoms. He even killed Myungeun and her family, the royal family of Hubaekje. One by one. Without fear. Without guilt. Without humility. The Sin was already working hard in him and took over his life just like a drug would make someone addicted. He was addicted to Pride, he couldn’t say no to the evil and whenever he couldn’t feel it within him, he felt lost, he felt as if his life didn’t have a purpose. Even his death was connected to that certain Sin of his; if he hadn’t been so eager to take over Chang'an, he wouldn’t have died.

Yet, he couldn’t mind how his life turned out in the end. That last part of his life was what made him proud. Sadly, that was all he found important. Everything before that seemed unnecessary, childish and humiliating.

No wonder why he made a great Sin; he wasn’t even a human at heart, not anymore.

Not like he seemed human in the last part of his life…

🙝 11 🙞

Kim Seokjin's favourite pastime activity (or so he called that) was messing with the little humans' feelings. Not like it wasn't his full-time job but he didn't see it as a challenge. That so-called work for him was when he needed to convince a famous person − for instance, a politician − who also tried to manipulate others, so doing the same to someone who had already used the tricks of manipulation was both troublesome and time-consuming. He enjoyed every bit of it though.

So where was Pride actually? He was everywhere; in human form, in demon form, in the humans' dreams, in their head, with their reflection in the mirror... he was literally everywhere. Just like other Sins, he used teleportation to get to places but since it was limited, he made sure to have bases all around the world. He had one in Seoul, in Dubai, in Melbourne, in London, in Paris, in Los Angeles and in Egypt, too. They were all some sorts of luxurious places that someone as selfish as Pride himself would visit – casinos, 5 star hotels, banks, exhibition halls filled with paintings that each worth millions of dollars.

His bases weren’t necessarily a sign of arrogance or dignity; yet people turned those places into useless competitions and fierce battlefields. As self-confidence was within anyone, Pride only needed a triggering factor to start spreading through their veins like viruses. After that, there was no turning back.

Frankly, some people didn't have a lot to do with Pride. Of course, there were still such people around the world who were almost entirely selfless but it was rare. In this technologically-driven society where everyone wanted to compete in the worldwide race, he didn't really have a difficult job.

He was there when kids fought who's the smartest; when youngsters talked back to their relatives or to their superiors; he was there when high schoolers took the CSATs; he was there during any contests (especially beauty contests, it seemed that the competition was a matter of life and death for ladies) and he also assisted with break-ups. If love took an unfortunate (or a fortunate one for him) turn, Pride immediately crept its way into the lovers' hearts. There was a thin line between equality and superiority and most of the humans didn't notice when they reached the latter one.

Sometimes he had to be on the spot − either in human form or in demon form − to seduce the little humans, sometimes he didn't even have to be in their thoughts because people were naturally born to be selfish and prideful. As soon as they sinned, he felt as if there was some unseen force charging him up. He became powerful and his heart − that was actually not beating since the day he died − felt alive again. He felt invincible like he could take over the whole world.

This way, it came as no surprise that Sins were the second highest ranked demons in the underworld. There was just one above them − Lucifer. In the modern people's words, he was their boss. That didn't necessarily mean that he watched their every step because he liked to mind his own business, so until they didn't do anything unforgettable − in other words, anything good −, Lucifer didn't tease the Sins, nor did he reprimand them. He was there as an example, a role model and a living legend. Rumour has it that one of the previous Prides was the one who turned Lucifer into Satan and Pride himself was also the one who changed angels into devils. On the other hand, Humility’s job was to turn exceptionally generous and kind-hearted men into angels.

Like there was the North and South Pole, the Sun and the Moon, black and white, good and evil, Sins weren’t the only ones who looked after our world but their female opposites existed too − the Virtues. Both groups contributed to the balance of the world and despite the fact that Virtues occasionally seemed to be more powerful, most of the time Sins were the ones who ruled the world.

If we look at that way, ever since Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden apple, humans were meant to be sinners. It was easier for them to do something bad rather than something good. Therefore, Virtues had a prominently tough job nowadays as the world was becoming more and more evil.

Taking the current situation into consideration, maybe Humility wanted to seal a deal with Seokjin. Whereas, he was smarter than sealing a deal with a Virtue and so she should have been smarter, too. He never made a deal with good people. It wasn't his cup of tea – it might sound odd but for him, it equalled something disgusting and dirty. It was against his own rules. It was against his Pride.

Concerning that he hadn’t really met a Virtue in person (he encountered Patience once when he wanted to see if that “touch of an entirely selfless soul” worked in real life but that was all), let alone Humility, he couldn't even imagine what was waiting for him. Not to mention that he hadn’t even encountered that particular Virtue in all his life as a Sin. He didn’t really have time to sit down for an afternoon tea along a freshly-baked croissant at a Derbyshire tearoom with the lovely Humility.

So why now? Why was he so important all of the sudden? He didn’t remember that he had committed any crime – or to be precise, he didn’t do anything that could be considered good. Not until the day they finally met did he realise why she had been looking for him.

“Good to see you again, Jin,” a gentle female voice called from behind when he was currently in Paris, disguised in demon form, hiding behind a wall, stalking a young lad whom he wanted to manipulate to believe that he was better than the guy who had previously bullied him. He knew that nobody deserved to be bullied and that the kid should fight back. Nonetheless, Pride didn’t want the scene to just stop there. He wanted to take the young boy to the depth of his Sin.

Despite all his will and pride, Seokjin couldn’t help but turn around at the familiar yet long-forgotten nickname. He was sure that no one knew of this particular name, except one single person, therefore no one could call him by Jin, except…

“Myungeun?” the words unconsciously left his lips like a raindrop streaming down the window; slowly, reluctantly but steadily. If his heart had still beaten, he was sure that it would have skipped a beat.

Honestly, she looked just as breath-taking as always – if not more. The way her long, raven-black hair fell lusciously over her shoulders was mesmerizing. Her beautiful big doe eyes – those obsidian-black wonders – were shining with fondness just like in the good old days. She was so young and beautiful like a daydream on a summer midnight – it seemed that she could vanish in any minute, that’s why he was even afraid to touch her. Now that she was in front of him, he was left staring at her. All his words abandoned him along with his stupid Pride.

There was one single thing about her that he couldn’t process. It was the reason why his thoughts were tangled. Firstly, she was as young as when he had last seen her, so that could only mean one thing: she didn’t age with time. On top of that, there was something not human-like about her, something ethereal. He was sure that he was merely hallucinating things. He was more than 1000 years old and the appearance of such mental disorders increases by age, so it could happen in his case as well.

“Yes, it’s me, Jin,” she nodded as a gentle smile was forming on her rosy-coloured lips.” Although they know me better as Humility nowadays.”

Seokjin had never been more flabbergasted all his life.

🙝 12 🙞

Paris always had a special place in his heart. Everything about this city was so sinful, luxurious and one of a kind. Ever since the French Revolution took place, he was fond of coming back and spoiling people. French were said to be snobbish and rude. It was so much fun to watch them play his stupid little games.

Conversely, seeing someone as pure as Myungeun in that smoke-filled alley with horrendous and disgraceful graffiti painting the walls around them was remarkably odd. She seemed out of place. On the other hand, Humility didn’t find the sight peculiar − to see him in Paris. It was one of his favourite cities, the rumours said. Though she didn’t like to believe all those nasty and outrageous rumours because she didn’t judge anyone based on the gossips but now she understood why they claimed that Paris suited the one and only Pride well.

He looked like he was born to be French; although his features were of a typical Korean descendant, his sense of fashion and his cotton candy pink hair was anything but ordinary. Contrary to his young (human) age, he wore a properly fitted and ironed white shirt, a black suit, black cotton trousers with beige belt and elegant leather shoes. His pink hair was neatly parted and his neck was decorated with an oh so popular choker. He looked chic and stylish. He looked prominently spectacular, even in his demon form.

“Why were you looking for me?” Seokjin inquired nonchalantly as he couldn’t suppress a smug smile, seeing that the Virtue was eyeing him top to bottom. When she heard his question, she averted her eyes back to his face and that made him feel all sorts of inexplicable emotions.

“I wanted to see for myself if you are really the Seokjin that I used to know.”

“Well, I am as you can see,” he flung his arms in the air, a little taken aback by the fact that she wanted only this much.

He was Pride after all. He sought after an answer like I wanted to see the Sin that is over a 1000 years old and still ruining lives or I wish I sealed a deal with Pride because I can’t keep up with all these sinful people. Compared to his expectations, her answer was too dull. Too mundane.

“Well, if you only wanted to know this much… Pardon me but I have better things to do,” he cleared his throat in an attempt to turn back to that young lad but she insisted on prying into his life even more.

“Do you remember me? Your past?” her voice stopped him dead in his tracks. He was aware that not all the Sins knew of their human lives, let alone the people who they had encountered while they were still living. Luckily (or not), he was one of those who did. That didn’t matter a single bit. At least not for him.

“I remember everything but I wouldn’t regret anything,” he puffed his chest out in pride, taking in her sight. She sure changed; she looked less naïve and childish than the last time he had seen her but she still had that unfathomable aura to her. She looked pretty like the cherry trees during spring with her pure white dress that was so long that it covered her legs but she was holy like a real angel. After all, she was one of them. As Sins were high-class demons, Virtues were high-class angels. Just the little humans didn’t know anything about the world they lived in.

“Not even killing thousands of innocent people? Parents, grandparents, children, relatives, friends and lovers?” Humility asked with a hurtful expression.

“No, not even that,” he shook his head fervently and flashed an evil grin. “That was the best part.”

“It seems that it’s true what they say,” the Virtue murmured quietly but Seokjin could still hear her words. His hearing was exceptionally good.

“They say what?” he furrowed his eyebrows in question. Demons said a lot about him; like he was the most handsome Sin out of all (he was worldwide handsome, that was a fact) and that he was the original one and the other Sins showed up only after his appearance. He couldn’t argue with any of them, their compliments pushed his initially high self-esteem even higher.

“That being a Sin makes you think differently of your past,” the Virtue mused on the fact, her face slowly dissolving into a somewhat dishonest flinch.

“I don’t think differently of my past. You are the one who couldn’t accept the confident side of me, even when we were still humans,” Pride pointed out without shame and the expression on Humility’s face could tell hundreds of tales at once; she was undeniably hurt by his words but she was more like disappointed. Baffled.

“Pride started to consume you in front of my eyes and even though I tried to stop you, you couldn’t be stopped. Nor did my promises,” she shook her head agitatedly, looking down at her intertwined hands.

If he had been a human, he would have hugged her to prove that she was wrong but he wasn’t a human anymore. All he could do was to counter-attack her in a not-so-gentle manner. He wasn’t a Sin for nothing. He wasn’t innocent, nor kind anymore. He wasn’t good at all. He was the epitome of evil. The definition of Sin.

“You and your stupid promises!” he huffed is disbelief. How dare she bring up her promises, for crying out loud. “If it hadn’t been for those promises, I wouldn’t have become a Sin.”

“You were the one who broke them, not me!” Myungeun spoke up, her voice shaking a bit as the tension in the air was rising.

“You were the one who set high expectations for me that I couldn’t reach! It’s not my fault that I made mistakes but it’s yours that you still believed that I was a good person! I was never a good one and you should have seen it!” he spluttered the words as his voice rose higher and higher. The alley resonated his furious response but concerning that he was in demon form, humans couldn’t hear any of it.

But Myungeun could and it would have been a lie to say that she was ready for such an abusive confession. Judged by the sudden paleness on her face, she had probably never considered that he felt guilty for breaking her promises and blamed her for believing that he was a good soul. He wasn’t an innocent child, not even in the beginning but she saw it otherwise.

“You were a good one until your father died,” she added quietly as her long fingers were toying with the rims of her dress.

“That’s not true. He didn’t spoil me. He was the one who opened my eyes and made me see that the world was harsh. I only wanted to make him proud,” he answered matter-of-factly, not knowing why it was so hard for her to understand. Humility was either blind or too generous to see that he was born to be a sinner. Not only was he born to be a sinner but he was also born to be a Sin.

“Make him proud by taking innocent lives?” she raised her eyebrows in question, another flinch making its way onto her face. “You never agreed with that kind of policy,” she reminded him but he was too carried away with him being a demon that he wouldn’t admit that she was right.

It was almost like the winter fog; he couldn’t touch it, it wasn’t made of any material that could be seen with his eyes but he always felt its presence. Its mysterious, dark and captivating presence. That was how living as a Sin was like. He knew deep down that his past wasn’t like how he had remembered. It was like telling someone a fib that even you couldn’t believe. Yet, he couldn’t really help. An unseen virus was already working in him that forced him to think and speak differently. Liar became his middle name.

“If people hadn’t been so stubborn, I would have used other methods,” he shrugged his shoulder like he wasn’t talking about killing off innocent people just because they didn’t want to let him take over their kingdom.

“I’ve heard that you killed my family, too,” Myungeun decided to look back at him at this exact moment, so Pride could easily catch sight of the pearl-like teardrops welling up at the corner of her eyes. If she was about to talk about his past, why would she even search for him? She knew what happened and she probably knew that he would be in denial. So did she want to test the waters or what?

“I did,” he admitted shamelessly.

“Did you enjoy it?” she wanted to know between soundless sobs. He couldn’t help but snicker at her question. Was she playing on the emotional side now? Oh, she was indeed cunning. More cunning than he had assumed that a Virtue would be.

However, as soon as he wanted to open his mouth to say something, his inner voice was of his faster’s and it told him the answer right away. No, I didn’t. Seokjin was flabbergasted at the sudden change in his own train of thoughts. It was one of those moments; when he could feel that something was odd. His human side came to surface and confused his demon side. They were always within him but most of the time it was his demon self that was superior.

Yet, there were those clicks like when you change the channel and until you turn into a new show, there’s this switch where you don’t really watch the previous but not even the following show. It was the same with him; he didn’t belong to any side in those moments.

Luckily, it took only a second or so to snap himself back to his senses. He decided to ignore her question and just ask her instead.

“Anyway, how did you find me?” he furrowed his eyebrows in question because it piqued his curiosity ever since they met that day. Sins couldn’t simply be found as they were everywhere and nowhere at the same time. They were like the Moon during daytime; they were around them but humans couldn’t see them.

“A demon hunter owed me a favour after I assisted her with her tattoos that would protect her from all the Sins. So I asked her to find out where you are because I’ve been searching for you after I got to know that you might be that so-called King Seokjin who united the Later Three Kingdoms. Up until now, my search wasn’t fruitful,” she explained in detail but he still couldn’t understand her. In the end, he opted for the easiest option; he merely threw the question at her.

“Why did it matter that I was that so-called King Seokjin or not?”

“Because−“ she started bluntly but closed her mouth within a second. She was searching for the right words to say, even though she was so overwhelmed by her own feelings that she couldn’t imagine that words would be enough to describe how she felt. “I wanted to see you,” she nibbled her lower lip coyly and it would have been an adorable sight if he hadn’t been the most serious Sin and she hadn’t been a Virtue. Considering their current situation, it was almost ridiculous. At least, for Seokjin.

“You wanted to see me?” his eyes widened in amusement. He clearly didn’t care about the suppressed tears at the corner of her eyes or the devastated expression displaying on her heart-shaped face. “I know that everyone wants to see my handsome face but I don’t think it was worth the favour.”

“You know, I have more of my human side than you and for me, it was worth it,” she declared a bit blatantly compared to a Virtue but he didn’t care about such things. He couldn’t. He was the definition of evil, ignorance and self-indulgence.

“Did I meet your expectations?” he elevated an eyebrow in question while he was slowly donning a teasing grin.

“No,” she blurted out without vagueness. “You are just as evil as I had expected,” she acknowledged without blinking an eye.

“Ouch!” Seokjin placed a hand over his chest, acting like her words bite into him. The truth couldn’t have been further from that. “Was that supposed to make me feel bad? Guilty perhaps?” he clicked his tongue, challengingly taking one step closer to her. Despite his assumption, she didn’t even budge.

“Do you remember what it’s like to feel anything besides pride? To adore the sunset? To smell the fragrance of flowers? To watch kids chasing each other on a playground? To read a poem for your own entertainment? Do you even remember what it’s like to feel?” she was thinking out loud, demanding one answer after another. Her voice cracked a little at the end, making it obvious that she was scared to voice out her own concerns.

Her rambling somehow touched him. Not in a really emotional way but he didn’t feel as neutral as before. While she seemed terrified to get her answers, he was afraid that his bewilderment was obvious. So he had to make sure that Humility didn’t see how much he weakened at her words.

“I feel, just not as you do,” he concluded dryly and without warning, he evaporated. He used his teleportation skills to get to his favourite casino in Dubai and to forget about that conversation with Myungeun.

Leaving without a proper goodbye was a habit of theirs and not even time could break it.

🙝 13 🙞

Pride was supposed to carry on with his usual life.

He was supposed to spoil people, whisper sinful things into humans' ears, mess with their childish feelings, let them bring each other down (and actually motion them to do so), steal their dreams and take away their hope. He was supposed to show up here and there and grasp everyone no matter their age, status, gender or their passion. He was within everyone since every single human being was selfish in one way or another. They were born to be selfish. From the moment they opened their eyes for the first time, it was inevitable that they gave in to Pride. After all, it was a part of them, it was just as essential for their everyday life as their own heart − they couldn't get rid of it, they were born with it, they were living with it, they were breathing with it. It was one of their multiple sides, it was the darker, the evil side. The unfortunate circumstances that could trigger the sinful behaviour were just oil to the fire.

Yet, there was something that he couldn't get over and it interfered with his daily life as the most serious Sins. It was what Humility had said to him. Do you even remember what it’s like to feel?

Did he? His sudden, wrathful answer must have been a mumbled of course. Of course, he felt emotions. He was full of pride. His feelings were chained to him and his nature. His demon nature, to be exact. Pride was like a prisoner that was kept in a cage. He could have ran away from his fate but there was no use. It would get back to him sooner or later and it would drive him totally crazy despite all his will. He knew how to feel. That was all he was doing every single day, in every single minute and second.

He felt the selfish desire of humans, their hunger for fame, success and love. Their arrogance and pettiness which made them do all sorts of crazy and unacceptable things. They wanted to take over the world, be greater than God himself and compete for the first place. Their arrogance was so disgusting in his eyes. They couldn't even bring up their own kids, how did they believe that they would be worthy of leading others? How? That was Seokjin's biggest question and he didn't seem to find an answer, not even after living for more than 1100 years as a Sin.

To make things clear, Pride wasn't fond of the idea that God existed. He didn't believe such nonsense until he saw that so-called creature of the world with his own eyes. After all, if God existed, why wouldn't he have a say in the matters of the world? Why wouldn't he stop the Sins as they were gathering more and more slaves as time went by?

He felt. Really, he felt lots of things. Just not the ones that Myungeun had mentioned and it bothered him as Hell. He couldn't really know what was going on with him, he felt as if he was about to burst. He felt as his throat was stuffed with little feathers that made it impossible for him to breathe properly. He was a dying whale that wanted to grasp for some air but he couldn't and the lack of oxygen suffocated him. He was underwater, drowning in confusion accompanied by all those bittersweet memories that came back thanks to her words. Memories of him and Myungeun. Why did they seem lovely all of a sudden? Why didn't they seem wrong or merely disgusting? Why? Just why?

Of course, as professional as he was, he tried his best to keep his internal turmoil at bay. After all, no one had a guide for a Sin who began to have feelings other than arrogance and selfishness, right? So what could he possibly do to feel like he was still in control of his emotions?

That's right. Yelling at a lower-class demon. Sadly (or not), it was Jaehwan's lucky day. He happened to be the one who came to Pride's mind as soon as he got back from Tokyo, so he turned out to be the one at whom he relieved his stress.

"Did you find out why Humility was looking for me?" he narrowed his eyebrows as he was looking at the other demon.

They were at Seokjin's luxurious suite in Seoul, both in human form, since it was what he had asked for. Jaehwan apparently wasn't glad to hear that Pride wanted to talk to him but he had no choice. He had to be there for him because if he didn't, he would die. Not like he didn't have the possibility to die even when he met up with his superior but at least he tried.

Pride knew that he didn't look up the issue. He was also aware that Jaehwan had no idea that the said Virtue had already visited him and gave him the reason herself. On the other hand, he was a Sin. He had fun toying with others, seeing as their eyelashes fluttered, as they gulped nervously or mumbled like an anxious teenager, searching for the right words to say. Jaehwan was no exception.

"Actually, I couldn't find anything..." his voice trailed off at the end, his gaze darting around the room. Seokjin rolled his eyes in annoyance. Just as expected.

"You couldn't or you didn't even try?" Seokjin took a step closer to him, almost forcing him with his mere presence to look up. He knew the truth, of course he knew, he could easily read his mind and on top of everything, he knew Jaehwan since the day the other guy became a demon, so he didn't have a tough job. It was funny how a previous hitman was acting like a scared little kitten in front of a Sin.

"I tried to but−"

"Don't lie to me, Jaehwan!" he raised his voice and took another step. His face was only a few inches apart from his and he used Jaehwan’s cowardly behaviour as an excuse to slap him in the face. He didn't protest and Seokjin couldn't actually help but gloat at his victory. He found joy in others' pain. He sometimes wondered if such merciless behaviour was a must when someone became a Sin.

"I-I-I'm sorry, sir," he stuttered like a little kid who had been reprimanded by his parents.

"You can be sorry."

"That won't happen again. I promise," he put his hand over his heart and even looked up to prove that he was thinking his words seriously.

The word 'promise' left a bitter aftertaste in Pride’s mouth. The promises from his past came to his mind and he couldn't get away from all the emotions that accompanied the sudden flashbacks.

"Damn it, Jaehwan!" he exclaimed furiously, making the other slightly bounce in surprise. Others would think that he was used to Pride's outbursts but most of the time he was characteristically quiet like a businessman who was already prepared for the worst outcome. Right now, even Jaehwan seemed to throw his usual calmness out of the window.

"Why would you promise something that you know you can't keep?" Pride flung his arms in the air because he had to occupy his hands if he didn't want to punch him in the face again. Even though his hands itched for a second round, he knew how to play well. He wanted to threaten Jaehwan, not beat him up.

"I want to try to keep it," the lower-class demon made an attempt to clear the rising tension in the air but the Sin merely shrugged his promise off.

"Instead of your petty promises, you can help me find a way to destroy a Virtue," he offered matter-of-factly but it was more of a demand than an actual favour. Jaehwan's eyes immediately widened in fear but Seokjin didn't expect anything less. After all, one of the highest-ranked demons was in front of him, of course he would be bewildered to hear that a Sin was about to destroy a Virtue.

"D-do you want to destroy Humility?" he panted in short, his voice a bit forlorn. Seokjin could clearly sense his bafflement and worry. He could see the little drops of sweat sliding down his cheeks. He could feel his dismay.

"I have to. She keeps getting on my nerves," he shrugged nonchalantly as he wasn't talking about killing a Virtue but suggesting a movie night out. Initially, he didn't intend to take away Myungeun’s life but that was the only solution to solve his current problem. To get rid of all those infuriating feelings and disturbing flashbacks.

"But you know that you will also die if you kill her with your selfish touch," Jaehwan warned him as if he didn't keep it in mind for already a millennium. Just like the touch of an entirely selfless soul could kill Pride, the touch of an entirely selfish soul could also kill Humility. That's why he tried to avoid her as much as possible. His life was too vulnerable for him. He was proud of what he had committed through all those years. He didn’t want to throw it away, that’s why he wanted to find another way rather than taking his own life.

"Like I don't know," he rebuked Jaehwan with his typically menacing voice, his patience already wearing thin. "That's why we have to find another way. Are you in or not?" he questioned cunningly in order to test the waters. Not like the lower-class demon had a choice. He was just fooling around but he sure enjoyed every bit of his one-man show.

"I'm in," Jaehwan bobbed his head in submission. His answer wasn't the most convincing one but at least it was an answer.

The game was already on. And it was really the matter of life and death.

Or should he say the matter of after-life and definite death?

🙝 14 🙞

The task was harder than he had expected.

It seemed that he had the silliest weakness out of all the 7 Deadly Sins. For Lust and Gluttony, it was any item that was previously blessed by Chastity or Temperance – aka their opposite Virtues. For Wrath, it was any weapon containing or coated in daffodil oil. A hairpin which was rumoured to be Greed’s brother was said to be Sin's weakness while Envy wasn’t particularly fond of pigeons. Seokjin didn’t have any information regarding Sloth’s possible triggers but who knew? Anything could happen when it came to the underworld’s creatures.

Meanwhile, he was there with that sentimental “a touch of an entirely selfless soul” garbage that could have been a line out of a fairy tale. He had outright laughed at Lucifer when he first told him about his weakness. It was after he had been promoted and he was announced to be the next Pride. He was actually a mere lower-class demon for almost 5 years when the previous Pride died of love. He fell in love with a human which was actually not a written rule but anyone knew down there that if a demon – let alone a Sin! − fell in love with a human, they wouldn’t be able to act as viciously as they were supposed to, therefore they wouldn’t do their job properly, therefore they would be fired – in single words killed.

How pathetic. Seokjin was sure that he would never make that mistake. He was just as sure about it as he was of his good looks. He wasn’t a good-looking royal only when he was the king of Goryeo but he was still handsome after his death. Nobody could disagree with it and honestly nobody would. It was a fact, Pride knew that he was the handsomest demon of all times.

Anyway, where was he? Oh yes, before he immersed into his state-of-the-art features, he wanted to fume because he couldn’t find a way to get rid of Humility without killing himself. He visited some ancient demons who were said to be demons even before people started to track time. He asked Jaehwan to look into previous Sins and Virtues’ history to see if there was any similar case. He even searched for Lust who couldn’t care less about his childish plays until he didn’t bring him some girls. He did everything, looked everywhere but to no avail.

“God must exist after all. It’s certainly his way to protect his beloved Virtues,” he lamented to his reflection in the mirror, standing in the living room of his suite in Dubai.

The current problem piqued his curiosity and nestled into his mind. It was absolutely annoying. It wasn’t like a pitiful bug that he could just kill with a wave of his hand. It was the most tremendous obstacle that he had to deal with. He knew that he was the one who created this whole mess but he couldn’t stop. Not now.

The problem was that he couldn’t even sleep because flashbacks and nightmares were hunting him, forcing him to wake up and make sure that he was alive, he was still Pride and Humility with her killer touch was nowhere to be found. As gibberish as it sounds, he couldn’t do anything to avoid the memories coming back, not even with all his supernatural powers. Sleeping wasn’t something that he could control. After he became a demon, he still opted for sleeping although he wasn’t a human being and he didn’t have human needs. He merely liked the feeling after a long sleep and the fact that he was alone in the dark with his thoughts. He was selfish, wasn’t he? He needed time to himself.

That time was now a thing of the past as he even gave up on sleeping to make sure that the memories wouldn’t follow him when he closed his eyes and became one with the dreamworld. If there was anything that he feared these days, it was sleeping. The memories didn’t just attack him but slapped him in the face, vigorously just like a fighter would do. Not once, not twice but multiple times. He felt a lot of things while being Pride but he never felt pain. The sudden spike of pain that was rushing through him once the memory lane grabbed him was anything but enjoyable. It was terrifying. Despite the fact that he didn’t have a beating heart anymore, he felt as if his heart was being ripped out of his ribcage every single time. The misery was excruciating.

He didn’t let it affect his job though but it seemed that Lucifer somehow found out that he was acting oddly in the past few weeks. At least, that’s what he assumed when Jaehwan informed him that the highest-ranked demon wanted to see him. Of course, Lucifer could have just teleported right beside Seokjin but Lucifer was a busy man. If one didn’t want to go to him in person, he wouldn’t want to waste his precious time with their business. Period.

Seokjin had one option and that was visiting the demon above all who had his special office on top of the Burj Khalifa, the tallest building in the world. It was actually invisible to the human eye, the little humans thought that it wasn’t possible to enter the highest floor. How blind they were to all things supernatural.

As soon as Seokjin knocked on the door, he heard an inpatient yes from inside, so he swiftly opened it and entered his office. He had been there multiple times before – usually for a meeting after a century or when Lucifer announced a new Sin – but it was decorated differently than last time. Black used to dominate on the walls but now it was red, to be precise crimson-red. The huge windows still offered a magnificent view of the busy city streets while the paintings on the walls represented the 7 Sins and the demons’ activities. The guy sure had a chic yet modest style.

People must have imagined Lucifer as someone significantly tall with well-built muscles, so that he can scare away the lower-class demons. They might have pictured him with the eyes of a devil or a laugh of a maniac. Pride knew that they sometimes portrayed him with horns and almost naked but the truth couldn’t have been further from their paintings. Lucifer didn’t even look that extraordinary in his nicely ironed white shirt and black coat. He was elegant but not scary. Not yet.

“I’ve heard that you wanted to see me,” Seokjin broke the silence to get Lucifer’s attention who was busy discussing something with his newly-promoted assistant. The rumour had it that his assistant was a guy named Jackson Wang who was a street fighter in his previous life and his speciality was martial arts. According to some lower-class resources, he was fearless and merciless. He never lost a battle until one of the gang’s heads had enough and hit him with a car. He died on the spot but became Lucifer’s right hand almost immediately.

The two shifted their attention to Seokjin who casually started eyeing the new assistant top to bottom. That Jackson guy emulated his action and they stared at each other for a couple more seconds until Lucifer finally spoke up.

“Oh yes, Pride,” his face suddenly lit up at the sight of his – let’s be honest – favourite Sin. Seokjin saw a hint of bafflement in the assistant’s eye, he could tell right away that Jackson had no idea who he was until their boss said so. Or he just didn’t want to believe that he was so gorgeous. Whatever the case might be, the admiring expression on the lower-class demon’s face undoubtedly boosted his confidence.

“It’s nice to see you again. How long has it been since we’ve last met? 120 years? Maybe 220 years?” Lucifer chuckled with his unique nasally voice as he stood up from his desk and shook hands with the Sin. Then, he offered him a seat and dismissed his assistant. Jackson bowed respectfully and casted a last glance at Pride before he evaporated. “Ah, time really flies,” Lucifer dropped a weary sigh as he took a seat at his desk and looked up at the demon in front of him.

The frightening part was that this expression was unfathomable. At first glance, it seemed so easy to read his mind. However, after a few more seconds, one had to admit that his eyes contained the horrors of centuries and his features were oddly ancient. He was a handsome young man around the age of 24 or so – note that he wasn’t more handsome than Seokjin – but his features were old. Amidst all those horrible flashes of the past, no one could tell what he was thinking or planning. He was a book without a guideline.

“Well, anyway,” Lucifer cleared his throat to regain his composure. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table and his chin in his hands. “I wanted to see you because I’ve heard that you’ve been distracted lately by the lovely Humility,” he emphasised the name on purpose, glaring at the Sin who could have been surprised at his sudden attack but he was prepared for this kind of conversation.

“I’m not distracted. It’s just that I used to know her, she was my soon-to-be wife when I was still the king of Goryeo and we share some memories. But that’s all,” he claimed confidently. His voice wasn’t trailing off, his body wasn’t shaking and he didn’t want to avert his eyes elsewhere but Lucifer’s face. He tried his best to act as nonchalantly as possible.

“Hmm, interesting,” marvelled his boss with a dubious tone. Seokjin had nothing to hide, so even if Lucifer decided to look up their shared past, he would find the same. He wasn’t afraid, not even after his boss’ following sentence. “I’ve also heard that you are planning on killing her.”

“Yes, that’s true,” Seokjin nodded in agreement. He wasn’t surprised that news travelled fast in the underworld. After all, demons were blabbermouths just like humans. That was one of the rare similarities between the two species. “Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a way that would ensure that I would also make it out alive. Is there a way to get rid of her without me getting killed?” he inquired as he leant forward. He may have been roughish but at least he didn’t have to hide his true nature in front of Lucifer. His despicable side was one of the reasons why the highest-ranked demon was fond of him.

Lucifer didn’t even flinch. It seemed that Pride wasn’t the only Sin who made an attempt to kill a Virtue or Lucifer could merely imagine that he was capable of something so outrageous.

“Well, not that I know of,” he shrugged in a deadpan manner and pondered for a thought. “If you are completely selfish when you touch her, you can kill her, yes. But if she’s also completely selfless, she can also kill you. The only thing that you can do is to make her sin, so that she won’t be entirely selfless anymore but otherwise, I don’t think you can succeed.”

“And that’s not so easy to make a Virtue sin,” Seokjin remarked disappointedly as he ran a hand through his pink hair. He was frustrated as Hell, small wonder why his boss could easily sense his annoyance. That dratted weakness.

“Exactly,” Lucifer clicked his tongue. He leaned back and waited for Pride’s response, challengingly raising his eyebrows. He was sure that it wasn’t enough for the Sin to merely accept the situation as he was already eager to take actions as soon as possible.

Small wonder the highest-ranked demon couldn’t suppress a complacent grin when Seokjin proved that he wouldn’t let the chance slip through his fingers. He was more adamant than that.

“I’ll find a way,” he stated doggedly.

“Well, it’s up to you but if you get killed and we don’t meet until then, I really enjoyed working with you!” Lucifer clapped his hands like he was saying goodbye for real. Pride knew that he was usually playful but he couldn’t laugh with him this time. His life was really on the line. “You were a pretty cocky guy and I liked your confidence. Well done, my friend!” he winked at him but the other demon rolled his eyes.

“Ah, not so soon! I’m not dead,” he reprimanded his boss, slightly offended by the sudden farewell. He wasn’t sure if he would make it out alive but he wanted to believe that there was a way for him to live, even after killing Humility.

“Not yet but you never know what the future might hold for you,” Lucifer admonished his inferior but he was dead curious to see what Pride might pull out of his sleeve.

He was his favourite Sin after all. His reputation was really no joke and killing a Virtue would definitely boost his self-confidence. Not like the most arrogant and assertive Sin needed it though.

🙝 15 🙞

Seokjin was Pride for a reason.

His life as a human – to be precise, the end of his life – proved to be enough for the title after the previous one had died. He was an expert at manipulating people, lurking them, convincing them to sin and playing with their feelings. It didn’t only involve individuals but families, friendships and lovers, too. That day was no exception.

He was in Prague with a couple who were arguing over some silly question that they could have easily solved if they hadn’t been so stubborn. It was because the guy had applied for a two-week internship in Australia and his application was accepted but he hadn’t told the girl. When he finally told her the truth, of course she freaked out. They had been together for more than 2 years, so it was understandable that the female was on edge upon hearing the news. That’s when Pride stepped in.

“Look, sweetheart!” he whispered into the girl’s ears, already feeling her confidence shaking at his manipulation. He wasn’t the type to call humans by nicknames but it was a way to get closer to them and start messing with their thoughts. “He didn’t tell you what he was up to, right? So why should you stand by him and support his decision? You deserve someone better. Someone who thinks highly of his girlfriend and doesn’t hide the truth from you. Someone who is better than him. Someone who takes care of you well and spends more time with you. You deserve better, don’t you?” he reasoned as he smiled cryptically. His eyes were twinkling with desire, hunger for submission. Although the waiting was getting on his nerves, that was the part that he enjoyed the most.

The girl nibbled her lips as she was musing. The expression on her face indicated that she was more likely to believe the Sin than to ignore his words. After all, pride was a pretty tricky thing. It was everyone’s greatest weakness.

“We’ve been together for 2 years! If I had been really that important to you, you would have told me,” the female bellowed as tears began to stream down her face. Seokjin found tremendous pleasure in her pathetic act. She was so pitiful when she couldn’t hold back her tears anymore. As he was a Sin, he was able to understand and speak every single language but words like this were the source of his entertainment, no matter the language.

Her boyfriend took a step closer to her and gently grabbed her wrist but she swiftly pushed herself out of his grasp. Pride prominently enjoyed what he was witnessing, he only wished to have a bag of popcorn and a bottle of Coke with him. The scene in front of him was exactly like watching a heart-breaking romance in the cinema.

The best part was about to come when a dazzling glow appeared beside them, forcing the demon to look away. Only when he felt the heat decreasing, did he actually avert his eyes back to the couple and the sudden visitor… who turned out to be Humility in a pure-white dress and an ever so kind smile.

He cursed quietly under his breath. They had never been in action together, small wonder why he was so dumbfounded to see her this time. How could she ruin his moment? How dared she show up when he was so into his little game? How and why?

Apart from the fact that Pride was undeniably wrathful, he also felt a bit uncomfortable. Memories of him and Myungeun started to bombard him and he couldn’t get rid of the sudden spike of insecurity that was rushing through him. He didn’t know how her mere presence could leave such an impact on him but he wasn’t fond of the feelings that she triggered. He wanted to shake her and grab her by the arm to shout at Humility for ruining his perfect moment – and his perfectly calm life – but the thought snapped him back to his senses. He couldn’t touch her. He could get hurt. He could get killed.

The Virtue sneaked a quick glance at him before turning to the man beside her.

“Why don’t you tell her why you’ve chosen this internship?” she suggested gently, her voice sickeningly sweet.

The guy hesitated a bit, so seeing his reluctance, Pride was prominently interested in his response. At first, it didn’t seem like he would take her advice but he still spoke up in the end much to Seokjin’s annoyance.

“Look, honey, I need to tell you something.”

“Don’t listen to him! He has already lied to you multiple times. Why would today be any different?” Pride clenched his jaw, his hands balled into fists. He couldn’t bear to be the loser, he wanted to win. Especially because Myungeun was his opponent. He wanted to win so badly.

“Just listen to him! How do you know that he won’t tell you the truth? Plus, it was the only time he didn’t tell you what was going on, you know that well,” Humility stated calmly, prodding the girl who was still struggling to decide between the Sin’s and the Virtue’s suggestion. Seokjin knew that he was telling fibs but who cared if he got what he wanted? Sins liked to play it dirty.

Before she could even muster a single word, the male suddenly confessed everything, taking both supernatural creatures by surprise.

“This internship is mandatory for me to get the job I’ve been thinking of. It has a pretty good salary, so that means that we could also move together without worrying about the bills if I got it for real. The only reason why I didn’t want to tell you because I wasn’t sure that I would get accepted,” the guy came to a halt to take a deep breath before he continued. “You know that I wouldn’t want to hurt you. You mean so much to me and this internship could benefit our future plans as well. If it weren’t for the job and its good salary, I wouldn’t even think of it. I love you so much, honey. Please, forgive me,” he pleaded frantically, his hands reaching out to the girl who was constantly sobbing silently. Tears were strolling down her cheeks, they were unstoppable like a river. The only thing that could soothe her nerves was the touch of her boyfriend, so she accepted his hand and let him hug her.

Seokjin let some profanities fly out of his mouth. He knew he lost; he was defeated by Humility and her ridiculously trivial methods. Of course, Sins used lies to manipulate humans but didn’t people like to believe in lies more than the truth? After all, they never knew who was honest or not, they could only trust themselves. This time, it seemed that it was the other way round.

“Why does this word mean so much to people?” Seokjin groaned at the sight of the hugging couple, unable to comprehend the ridiculous situation. He still couldn’t quite process the fact that he had just lost.

“Why?” Humility turned to him with a curious smile, her eyes forming little crescents. Seokjin felt like throwing up when the couple behind Humility started kissing each other like they didn’t know the definition of moderation.

“Wouldn’t you feel better if someone told you that they love you?” the Virtue queried and for the first time that day, Pride was actually thankful for her question. At least she distracted him. Not only with her question but also with her ethereal beauty, mesmerizing obsidian-black eyes, heart-shaped face, loving smile and those long lashes that painted semi circles under her eyes, adding to her pale palette.

“As a Sin, I don’t care about such things,” he shrugged as a pretentious frown was forming on his lips. Oh please, who needed silly I love yous when all he wanted was selfishness? Wrath, self-confidence, superiority and luxury. Love wasn’t a thing on his most wanted list. Not then, not ever.

“And what if I told you that I love you?” Myungeun whispered coyly, her voice barely audible.

She really glowed like a shooting star in the sky, even her eyes were twinkling. He couldn’t argue with her beauty and he would lie if he said that her presence didn’t make him feel all sorts of things. Like human things. He was a damn good liar after all and he kept it all to himself but he couldn’t deny that something was bubbling up inside him. He felt as if the past and the present suddenly collided and he could see all of their fragile memories and their present scene at the same time. The turmoil of emotions meant nothing but trouble.

“You wouldn’t lie to me,” Seokjin snarled at her, almost threatening her with his flickering eyes. Despite acting all cocky and invincible, he didn’t want to hear the word. He was a bit afraid what it would leave him with. Lust? Desire for forgiveness? Hate? Or maybe guilt? Oh no, thank you so much, he didn’t want any of those childish human feelings.

“I loved you and I still love you, Jin,” she confessed without a blink of an eye, struggling to keep her hands to herself. She reached out for a moment but let her hands drop instead when she realised that she couldn’t touch him. The pain in her eyes could tell more than anything; the black of her orbs never seemed so sorrowful before. “And you shouldn’t forget that Virtues can’t lie,” she reminded him with a brittle voice and evaporated right then and there, leaving the oh so mighty Pride looking like he was about to faint.

He felt as if the ground was about to crumble because she was damn right. Virtues couldn’t lie.

I loved you and I still love you, Jin.

How was that even possible? How could she love him after all these time, after all they had been through?

How could a Virtue fall in love with a Sin?

🙝 16 🙞

Living as a Sin never seemed so difficult before. Never in his 1100 years as Pride was as hard as the last few months thanks to that special someone who showed up like an unwanted visitor in the middle of a birthday party.

Seokjin had a hard time adjusting to the situation and his newly appeared feelings. He had no idea what was going on with him but the more he thought of Humility’s words, the less he could concentrate on his duty. Not only did he dread the night when he forced himself to stay awake but he began to dread the day, too. He was failing as a Sin and to make matters worse, more and more demon noticed his mistakes. Not like they initially liked him because it seemed that the whole underworld was against him but he couldn’t care less when he was the original and most serious Sin out of all. Demons were merely jealous of him and his success.

Anyway, the situation still infuriated him and he couldn’t do anything but to distract himself. So he began to question Humility’s words as he didn’t even believe in love in the first place. What was love anyway? Just a doomed connection made up by humans who wanted to find yet another way to destroy themselves and others. Considering that he had never been loved – even Myungeun turned against him in the end −, he had no idea what it was. He could see it every single day but he couldn’t feel it. He caught glimpses of kissing couples on the streets, loving gazes around the dinner table, failed attempts at holding each other’s hands and innocent quick pecks on the cheek. He could look at all those people and still couldn’t feel a thing.

What was so good about love? It would hurt you anyway. The moment your lover breaks up with you, the moment someone doesn’t even show interest, the moment they lie to you, humiliate you, make fun of you or use you for selfish purposes. They even hurt you when they die. You lose every single day but not only as a person, you also lose a piece of yourself. So what was so good about loss? He himself lost a lot of things during his 19 years as a human and he didn’t want more pain. He had suffered enough and Myungeun was only another source of pain. She made him believe that she would stay by him no matter what and she didn’t even consider helping him when he was about to unite the three kingdoms! Oh, Myungeun and her stupid promises… they were literally the death of him.

As Prince Seokjin, the only form of care that he knew of was punishment. He was always accused of crimes and lies, he was always bullied for the way he looked and he was humiliated just because he was born. He wasn’t born to receive love and he accepted it from a very early age. He even warned Myungeun not to get closer to him because he doesn’t deserve love, he was fated to be an outcast. He warned her not to take care of him because she would get hurt. It was her fault that she didn’t listen to him. Even though she thought – and Jin also believed in it for a long time – that she did good to him, she was the one who hurt him the most. He wanted to hate her for that but he couldn’t. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t.

The thing that bothered him the most was that she claimed that she loved him, even before he became a Sin and until present day. He was perfectly aware of the fact that Virtues couldn’t lie, that’s why they were Virtues. Sins could casually use lies as a way to manipulate people but Virtues couldn’t. So how could she say that she loved him? How could she be so sure that he loved this arrogant, erratic, blatant, unattainable and thick-skinned man? How could she love a Sin?

Looking at their situation, Seokjin wasn’t the only one who couldn’t control his emotions. Though it couldn’t have been a problem for Myungeun since he didn’t hear anything from her after the day they had met in Prague. After all, was the fact that she loved a Sin was a sin itself? He highly doubted, it was merely peculiar. Love wasn’t a Sin, not even sex. Only sex without love was considered a Sin according to Lust and the rules of the underworld.

Not even Jaehwan wanted to ask what was bothering him, he almost looked like he was waiting for him to fail. There was a weird expression on his face which he couldn’t decipher. Nonetheless, Seokjin had bigger problems than Jaehwan’s ridiculous features, so he didn’t waste more time dwelling on such minor things.

It was the first time he was willing to find Humility without being told to do so, without dying to know why she was looking for him and without intending to kill her. He gave up on his initial plan as he realised that it was a mission impossible. He still wished to get rid of her but he had a different plan now.

Even without prying into her business, he had an idea where he could find her and when he found her daydreaming beside the Jeongbang Falls, sitting on a rock, enjoying as the chilly night wind blew through her hair, he wasn’t surprised at all. She was as sentimental as always.

“You are so predictable,” Pride cleared his throat to gain her attention but she didn’t even avert her eyes to the young man, she continued on staring at the ocean which was tinted greyish by the breath-taking moonlight.

It was already past 2 AM, the time when Humility usually stopped her activities and sat by the ocean for half an hour to recharge her batteries. It was rumoured that she had a special place where she let off some steam but demons weren’t interested in a Virtue’s favourite place, let alone Pride who always minded his business, he didn’t have time for gossip. Yet, he had a feeling that she might be beside the Jeongbang Falls as this was the place that she wanted to visit before she would die. She once shared it with the little Jin and considering that she never had the chance to fulfil her dream, the waterfall in Jeju was his first tip.

“But you are quite unpredictable,” she noted quietly as she peeped at the Sin, a gentle smile hiding in the corner of her rosy-coloured lips. Seokjin couldn’t believe how she stayed so tender after all this time, after all he had said to her but then he reminded himself that she was a Virtue after all. It was her job and unlike him, she was doing a pretty good job.

Pride shrugged his shoulders and casually sat down on a rock, not too close but not too far from Humility. A sudden jolt of tranquillity simmered through him as he let his eyes wander at the ocean. There was something oddly familiar about the whole situation. Myungeun was beside him, humming a child song to herself and looking at the waves crashing into the shore, washing over sand and smaller rocks. The scenery was new but the feeling was familiar. It reminded him of the times when they were beside the Palace’s lake or picking flowers in the garden. It represented the times of perfect serendipity, ethereal calmness and that so-called purity of youth. It was like finding a safe haven in a tangled mess.

The sudden nostalgic bitterness attacked his mind first, bombarding him with flashbacks. Then, it moved on to his heart, squeezing it with those human feelings that he hadn’t experienced in a millennium. He could have said that it scared him but he had already given in to all those emotions. There was no use; the disease was already spreading through his whole body and his whole being. A Sin lost to a Virtue and she didn’t even have an idea that she was slowly destroying him as a Sin and bringing his human self to surface.

“Why did you really want to see me?” Pride broke the pleasant silence that was covering them like a warm blanket on a cold winter night.

Poor girl didn’t think that he would question her out of the blue, therefore she couldn’t help but wince in surprise. Her cheeks were glowing in embarrassment, her ears turning red. For the second time already, she nibbled her lips. Seokjin didn’t even attempt to suppress his honest reaction this time. The thought that she hadn’t changed a bit raised his lips into a small smile.

“I missed you,” she drawled nervously.

“Why?” Seokjin raised his eyebrows, throwing caution to the wind. He knew that it would be the last time he saw her, so he didn’t want to beat around the bush. It was now or never.

“Because I died so quickly, I couldn’t even say what I wanted to say to you and the feeling left me with a pang of hollowness in my chest,” she admitted, her voice slightly shaking. Her gaze darted around the beach but never settled on Seokjin’s face. She wasn’t ready to face him but she wasn’t even sure that she would ever be.

The reunion took her by surprise and she had no idea what she should expect from the Sin. She saw him being frustrated, yelling at her, his eyes on fire like he was about to kill her on the spot. She saw him being disappointed, hands balled into fists, his whole body ready for a fight. She saw him being confused, unable to understand the feelings of humans, unable to feel the love between the girl and the boy in Prague. Nonetheless, she could feel the love of the couple and that’s why she knew that he wouldn’t be able to convince them. Their love was stronger than their self-love.

There were countless times when Humility couldn’t succeed because humans weren’t strong enough to say no to their selfish desires but she tried her best to persuade them to change. Sometimes it wasn’t enough but at least she tried.

Every Virtue knew that the world lost its balance and the demons started to take over the world but they couldn’t give up. They were chosen to be Virtues because their chastity, forgiveness, generosity, kindness, diligence, temperance or humility changed lives. She had definitely changed lives – including Seokjin’s − but so did the previous Pride and she couldn’t win in Jin’s case. That’s why she was so eager to become a Virtue; she wanted to win and save lives. She didn’t want to see humans transforming into something so unpredictable and evil as Seokjin did all those years ago. She lived almost 500 years as an angel when she finally had the chance to become a Virtue and she didn’t hesitate to accept the offer.

“Why?” Seokjin exclaimed frantically, more furious than last time. The sudden change in his behaviour made her heart leap and she unconsciously looked for his eyes. His coal-black eyes were seriously dangerous and searing; they weren’t flames, they were bigger than that. They were hundreds of flames united in a huge, devastating one. “Why do you want to say a proper goodbye to me when you know I don’t deserve it? Why do you love me when you know I’m rotten as hell? Why do you do this to me? Why can’t you just live in your perfect Virtue world and leave me alone? Why do you have to make me feel guilty for spoiling those people?”

His scream echoed back from the stones, sounding like dreary pleadings in the chilly spring dawn. His words were fragile like a raindrop that could reach the ground anytime and become one with it. Their relationship was cursed from the beginning and the more he got closer to her, the more he was able to see it. They should have never met, thus they should have never fallen in love. It was a love written in the stars, written for tragedy, nothing else.

As a human, he was unable to change for her and save her from dying and as a Sin, he was unable to see why she turned against him and why she loved him after she had died in his arms. In both forms of his life, he reckoned that he merely wanted to protect her from himself yet he didn’t realise that all he wanted to do was to protect her from his love. Deep inside, he always had a feeling that he would hurt the people around him and he wanted to avoid the inevitable as much as possible.

So why was it so hard for her to see his struggle? Why couldn’t she realise that he wanted to save her from himself? From his love?

“I guess you already know that you can’t decide who you fall in love with, right?” Humility let out an aghast sigh, her words sending shivers down his spine.

He couldn’t hold himself back anymore, he couldn’t pacify his fast-paced thoughts and his human self that was about to take control of him. He knew what he was about to do, so he wasn’t scared. He swiftly reached out to Humility, grabbed her hand and held it to his heart, even though he knew that she couldn’t feel its beating. Yet, he could already feel the crazy burning in his veins. His body was on fire, his chest was squeezing painfully while the excruciating pain was slowly tearing him apart. As the pain escalated, his breathing became more and more ragged.

“What are you doing, Jin?” Humility’s eyes widened in both shock and fear. She certainly felt a tad bit of pain but it wasn’t like the one she had imagined. She wasn’t suffering as the Sin apparently did. “You are killing yourself!” she screamed frantically while she was trying to escape from his grasp but he was stronger than ever. He wouldn’t let go of her.

“Don’t you dare to let go of me!” he cried out helplessly, doubling over. The Virtue was gasping for air, she made countless attempts to yank her hand away from him but he was too adamant.

Why? And why didn’t she feel that unbearable pain that she should have? It was said that if an entirely selfish soul touches her for a long time, she would get hurt and she would feel like dying again. Nonetheless, she didn’t feel like the last time she was shot. Apart from a little aching, she was fine. So what was going on?

“I can’t let you die!”

“But you have to let me!” he sucked in a breath, his eyes tearing up. His face was now practically snuggled to her chest, still not causing any pain. He was relieved after all. His plan seemed to work, she was still safe. Let me die in your arms, he wanted to say but his mouth wouldn’t budge.

“Jin, don’t do this! Let go of me, please! I want to save you!” Myungeun shook him, still trying to peel himself off of her.

Tears began to well up in her eyes, spilling down her face and landing on Jin’s pale skin. One by one. They became little dots on the thick paper that was his handsome face. He never looked more fragile than that time as he was in her arms, his eyelashes shaking, his body trembling, his hands clinging onto her body and his eyes out of focus.

“Last time I couldn’t save you! Let me do it this time!” he pleaded in between coughs, his voice strangely weak. The oh so mighty Pride threw away his mask and she could see his bare self without that stupid masquerade. His soul was in front of her, bleeding out with each passing second. The fact that he didn’t want her to help stung her right at the heart.

“I-I can’t! Please, Jin, please…” she cried out in horror. Her vision became blurry due to the amount of tears that started to slide down her cheeks. She wanted to wipe them away but Pride still held onto her like she was his last string of hope. Maybe she was. But for what?

“Myungeun…” he rolled her name off his tongue in a surprisingly gentle way. She couldn’t help but weep more. No one had called her by her real name for hundreds of years. “Let me keep my promise this time,” he asked tenderly, coughing a bit more. She didn’t know which one of their promises he was currently talking about.

“What promise?”

“I don’t want to be a narcissist anymore. I want to save you,” he bawled in tears, his voice shaky and brittle. He coughed up blood, the spots painting his fancy white shirt crimson-red, just like on the days when he was killing off hundreds of innocent people as Goryeo’s king. The only difference was that this time it was his own blood.

“But how?” she managed a sentence out, her eyes full of remorse. If he died in her arms, she didn’t know how she would bear the sight of his dead body, let alone the memory that would hunt her.

“By killing myself,” he muttered, his voice barely a whisper. There was a trace of smile playing on his lips that made her heart ache even more. “You don’t have to take care of me anymore. You don’t have to think of me anymore,” he added and his words were like bullets sent through her heart. He mumbled something about love with his last breath but she couldn’t comprehend it. He closed his eyes sooner than she could have prepared herself and he was already gone. He broke into tiny little pieces like glass and the wind carried all of them far, far away.

She let out a heart-wrenching scream, a cry of a girl who lost her precious love for the second time. The first time, she couldn’t even say goodbye and no matter how evil he became, she still wanted to say to him what she couldn’t tell him before. On the other hand, she had the chance to confess to him only when they were already the creatures of the after-life who were supposed to carry on accompanying the humans’ lives. Little did she know that the long-awaited confession that she wanted to share with Seokjin hurt him so much that he started to experience human feelings again.

That day by the Jeongbang Falls was the second time when she couldn’t say the words to him because he was on the verge of dying. Seokjin already knew that she loved him but she still felt the need to bid a proper farewell, even though she couldn’t let go of him… she didn’t want to.

The pain Pride was going through wasn’t physical, it was the pain caused by heart-break. She didn’t feel such pain, not even when he shot an arrow through her heart and she was dying. That was another kind of pain; almost peaceful, slow yet constant like a lovely piano piece. This one was rather raw, full of emotions, fire and ashes, blood and tears. How could he do it for her? How could he know that she wouldn’t get hurt when he touches her?

Oh, how Myungeun truly wished that she had died with him like the first time! She wanted to be in his arms instead of holding Seokjin’s body. It was odd how history repeated itself in the opposite way. It must have been their fate. The fate of star-crossed lovers.

Humility looked at her hands with terror, already expecting burnt spots all over her body. Contrary to her expectations, all she could see was an ink tattoo with Pride’s name. Not until she saw the Sin’s name did it finally dawn on her why she wasn’t affected by his touch. She assumed that his human side took control of him, so he wasn’t completely selfish when he touched her and that’s why he couldn’t scar her. On the other hand, she was still entirely selfless and that’s why she could destroy his demon side. Unfortunately, his human side wasn’t strong enough to bear the transformation and that’s why he died.

Humility should have been happy because defeating a Sin was considered a success, yet all she felt in the following centuries was bitterness. Demons took advantage of the situation, especially Jaehwan who became the new Pride. Lucifer chose him personally since he knew the guy’s little secret, he knew that Jaehwan found a way to defeat Humility but because he was so selfish and sought after the title of Pride, he didn’t tell him and Seokjin already lost a bit of his demon abilities, so he couldn’t sense that he was lying. The only way Jin could have ended his pain was to get rid of his memories once and for all and that meant taking Lucifer’s place. If he killed Lucifer, he would immediately become the new one and his memories would be erased.

Kim Seokjin might not have been humble, light-hearted and innocent all his life but he wasn’t born to be Pride, he became one under the wrong circumstances. On the contrary, he chose to change his fate for the first time in his life and only he knew if it was really worth it. After a long time, he really felt like living, he was able to feel all those things Myungeun had mentioned before.

He realised on the verge of dying that he was loved. During his human life, during his demon life, whenever he was beside Myungeun, he was loved. He was just too blind to see it.

The more she thought about it, the more tears she shed. Even though she wasn’t the one who died that day, she felt like dying with him. A piece of her soul left her and accompanied Seokjin to God knows where. They would hold hands through the white light together. They would be together forever.

Just like they had promised each other all those years ago.

[every-kirishima-eijirou]

The Beauty of Red Riot’s Origin Story: Episode 72 Analysis (LONG POST AHEAD)

Well, here we are! I’ve been waiting ages to watch this episode, and now, it’s finally done, and I am more than happy with how it turned out. I’ve seen it in both Japanese and English, back to back, and both Toshiki Masuda and Justin Cook knocked their performances out of the park, and the emotion conveyed in their voices only made our boy’s origin story that much more emotional. But WHY is it so emotional? What makes such a seemingly ordinary backstory have such an impact on a viewer? (Especially viewers like, you know, US). Well, this is the purpose of this lil analysis here, so let us explore how Kirishima’s backstory contributes so nicely to his character. (Disclaimer: Manga screencaps are not my translation).

Let’s start from the beginning:

This panel shows us what we already knew to begin with: Our boy Kirishima is good-natured, stands up for others, and has strong, manly convictions. Nothing special, really, and the revelation that he was like this long before he entered UA is a great foundation for his character. In that regard, he has a similar foundation to Deku, but what differs is their struggles. Now, we know Deku grew up without a quirk in a society where quirks have been thoroughly normalized, but what does Kirishima struggle with, if anything? Is that even possible, what with him being so outgoing and boisterous?

As it turns out: yes. It’s VERY possible. This is where we see that our Red Riot is not as infallible as we may have thought. Yes, Deku had a hard time growing up without a quirk, and while Kirishima was born with a quirk just like most others, he grew up being ashamed of it, which if you think about it is a lot worse in some ways. Quirks are hereditary, and for many people, including Kirishima, quirks are also an important part of one’s own identity. This can inspire feelings of depression and even envy towards people with “better” quirks, like Mina. In contrast with Kirishima’s more traditional view of heroism and chivalry, Mina has a flashy quirk and bubbly personality, which is really effective for diffusing the situation with the bullies. This is where Kirishima’s manliness fails him, and no, not because he got shown up by a girl (thank GOD for that). It’s because heroism in the “modern” age favors heroes who can provide entertainment. Someone who’d be right at home in, say, the idol industry (like Mina). According to his friends, Kirishima’s hardening quirk, which he sees as boring, would not fly in today’s society. Now, Kirishima doesn’t care so much about what his peers think of him, but he’s still ashamed of his quirk, so he trains to harden his body and spirit, both literally and figuratively: 

Also much like Deku, Kirishima has his own hero he looks up to: Crimson Riot. He serves as Kirishima’s main source of inspiration. It’s where he gets his hardline traditionalism from, and also how he copes with having a quirk he sees as “boring”. Again, this is where he and Deku differ. Deku looks up to All Might in a fanboyish sort of way, which inspired him to strive to be a hero as well. Kirishima, on the other hand, not only sees Crimson Riot as an inspiration to be heroic, but also because they have similar quirks. It’s only natural for a child who’s been conditioned be ashamed of something they can’t help. It’s something I can personally relate to as someone who struggled a lot with sexuality as a teenager, and something many others can surely relate to as well. This makes our boy an effective source of inspiration as well. 

However, no matter how hard he trains, both physically and mentally, Kirishima still can’t train himself to not feel fear. It’s only natural for ordinary people to feel fear. After all, fear was what kept humans alive back when they were just starting out. Still, this goes against all of Kirishima’s ideals of what being a hero means. Sure, he has no problem standing up to some regular school bullies, but unlike him, Mina didn’t hesitate to act when her friends were cornered by a 30-foot tall villain in the street. She’s a prime candidate for UA, so what chance does he have of getting in if he can’t stand up to a literal supervillain?

So, he gives up on his dreams of getting into UA. He didn’t act when it mattered. That was it for him. Even worse, the incident where Deku saved Bakugou from the slime monster made headlines. It was good that Horikoshi showed how this affected Kirishima, who was totally uninvolved, because it makes you think of what exactly that implies. After that incident, Deku was miraculously given a powerful quirk by All Might. Maybe if Kirishima were the protagonist, he would have been so lucky, but that’s not the case (more on this later). Despite this, Crimson Riot blesses Kirishima in a more indirect sense:

In his frustration, Kirishima throws a book against the wall, and coincidentally, this hologram-looking thing of Crimson Riot starts playing, and it’s exactly what he needs to hear. As he listens, Kirishima realizes that not even Crimson Riot is immune to fear, but he copes with it by telling himself that failing to save someone because you didn’t do anything is far worse than charging in and giving it your best shot. That way, he can live his life without regret, which is, from then on, what Kirishima strives to do. 

Finally, with a fresh motivation to get into his dream school, our boy pulls through (and gets 2nd place in the entrance exams!). To commemorate this, Kirishima dyes his hair and vows to leave his past behind him, and Red Riot as we know him today was born. 

This should surprise absolutely nobody, but Kirishima’s is my favorite backstory in the whole series, and to conclude this lil essay, I’m going to explain why. As I said before, his backstory is something a lot of people can resonate with. Feeling shame and self-doubt is something many people go through, and it’s prevalent with people who have conditioned themselves to feel ashamed of something beyond their control. Coming to terms with my bisexuality was a struggle for me, so I can definitely relate indirectly. 

This ties into the SYMpathy vs EMpathy argument. A lot of backstories in My Hero Academia, or even media in general, are tragic in a way that not everyone can relate to (not criticism, just observation). Let’s take Todoroki, for example: he was essentially quirk-bred by his father and was abused by him, being trained to the point of overexertion. On top of that, his mother gave him the scar over his left eye, and he has carried that trauma with him his whole life. Not everyone had such a toxic upbringing, but Todoroki sure did, and many people feel sorry for him. In other words, they sympathize. Kirishima, to contrast, had a much healthier upbringing, but has a lot of internalized self-esteem issues that everyone can relate to (or empathize with). While sympathy is the capacity to feel sorry for someone, empathy is the capacity to UNDERSTAND someone. Don’t get me wrong, tragedy is often a crucial element to a story’s narrative (if it’s done well), but it’s sometimes more cathartic for the viewer to see a character overcome more everyday struggles, especially if they can understand them on a fundamental level.

The last argument I will make goes back to what I was saying about Kirishima not being the protagonist, and I think if he WERE, his origin story would not be nearly as impactful. One might say that Kirishima embodies the more stereotypical “hot-blooded” shonen protagonist than Deku does, and I agree to some extent. However, it works better for him to be a supporting character. In most shonens (like Naruto), the protagonist’s backstory is established right away, and as such, the viewer always sees their character in the context of what they were like in the past (we get it STOP SHOWING US THE FUCKING SWING--) In Kirishima’s case, his backstory comes into play much later, and by that point, we are already so familiar with his Red Riot persona that the revelation that he wasn’t always so eager and optimistic hits that much harder, and seeing how it contrasts with Kirishima as we know him in the present feels more rewarding. Yes, we get to see bits and pieces of it early on, like when he feels inadequate after meeting Tetsutetsu and seeing that their quirks are nearly identical, but seeing those feelings fully presented in his backstory only serves to drive that home. In short, we see, at a glance, how far he’s come since then, instead of being forced to watch the whole process from start to finish, and it works really well. 

Another common trend among shonen protagonists, as I said before, is their tendency to be blessed with miraculous new abilities to make them special (and that includes Deku). Obviously, that didn’t happen with Kirishima. He had no pro-hero mentor to guide him, nor an all-powerful booster quirk to bolster his hardening abilities. He got to where he did through sheer perseverance and hard work, with only his idol’s words to keep pushing him forward. While Deku also had to work hard to get to where he is, fortune was on his side, and the fact that Kirishima pulled himself up by his bootstraps (so to speak) is, to me, a lot more admirable. 

And THAT, my friends, is the core of why Kirishima means so much to me as a character, and even if he doesn’t become the #1 hero in the story, he’s my personal #1 hero. So, on that note, thank you for all your support, and as always...Stay sturdy!

tl;dr I FUCKING LOVE KIRI SO MUCH YOU GUYS

[blackfemmecharacterdependency]

08. The Apex Rises

Word Count: 3605, Trigger Warnings for gaslighting, bullying, mild violence

Previous

Shana had gotten into SO MUCH trouble for losing her keys that she was no longer to drive her car to school (which… she only had a permit, so she had to give up the car to a driver when she got there anyway, but it had still been pretty cool that she got to drive to school in her own car that she would be driving whenever she finally got her license). She and her clique had scoured the school trying to find her keys, and their vehicles, homes, and anywhere else that she had been. The girl was losing her mind about it… That magnified when she saw something sticking out of Grace Monroe’s bag.

“Where did you get this?” she snarled, reaching into the bag and pulling out Grace’s set of house keys. 

Grace snatched them from her hand and said, “From my mother. She likes me to have access to home and a few of her properties.”

“I meant that keychain! You didn’t have that before!” Shana fussed, folding her arms. Grace began to speak about every keychain that she had, until Shana squealed, “The Sassy Strawberry!”

“Oh, that? Simon gave it to me.”

“It’s. Mine.”

Grace furrowed her eyebrows and shook her head, “Um, no. Simon gave this to me. It’s mine. But, you could probably find one…”

Shana flared her nostrils and one of the teachers came up to the table, “Are you girls rehearsing? Because the theater is a much more appropriate place than the study hall, if you are.”

“Shana is making me feel unsafe,” Grace said, smiling at Shana. Shana clenched her fists and her teeth and stormed off. Grace shook her head and said, sorrowfully to the teacher, “My mother said that her father is being investigated for theft of trade secrets. It’s probably weighing on her, the poor thing.” The teacher’s face showed that she was interested in this rumor, but she knew better than to socialize that way with the students. Grace knew that she would bring it to other staff though and once they thought that Shana’s dad might not be looking so good for the school… Well… Whatever happened, Grace would be entertained.

Simon showed up to study hall and made a stack of books. She told him about the occurrence and he was highly amused, though she could tell that he was here for business. She let him get to his studies. Simon was in advanced classes and he still made all A’s. Grace made all A’s too, but it was MUCH harder for her. She just got so bored with everything and often spent class time reading a book instead of paying attention… which meant that by the time she reached study hall, she had the worst notes. Simon let her borrow his for classes that they had together or classes that they each took, but his notes were generally madness. He wrote his notes FOR HIM, and it was obvious, because she’d point to something and ask, “What is this.” There would be one or two words there and he’d read them. It wasn’t that she couldn’t read his handwriting. He actually wrote pretty neat for a boy. It was that those two words wouldn’t mean anything to her. Then, he’d explain and she would always wonder… How on Earth did he remember all of that crap from writing down TWO WORDS???

However, that still was an easier way of her learning than in class. For one thing, it was Simon, so she listened to him easier. For another, it was Simon, so he made the time and snapped her back to concentration whenever she zoned out. “I’m going to speak with the Dean about being a student tutor,” he said.

“Gross. Sounds WHACK. Why would you wanna do that?”

“I am already doing that, but I’m not getting any credit for it!” Simon said. That was when she realized that she may have leaned on him a little too much. Besides, he was in academic competition groups and stuff. He HAD other things he needed to do. 

Grace began sweetly asking others for help with studying. Some of the less popular and less liked girls who also did well in class were her target. They began to not only help her, but be willing to DO her work, if she needed, and Grace wasn’t one to turn down free help. In exchange, she would compliment them and tell them great things about themselves that she figured that they would never hear. 

“Grace! That bracelet is SO pretty! Where did you get it?”

“Simon gave it to me.”

“Simon is SO CUTE. You’re so lucky…” She’d simply smile. There wasn’t a need to correct anyone, as long as she and Simon knew what they were. But, with Simon’s name attached to hers, Simon started being treated a little bit differently, as well. The teachers, at least, didn’t seem to think he was the scum that they acted like he was before then. The girls had been taking a second look at him, mostly wondering what it was about him that they didn’t know. What was his secret? How did a boy like that get Grace Monroe? They not only wanted to know, but they were extremely intrigued. Girls would often invite him to things, then try to annotate that he could bring Grace too. He usually told them he’d definitely be there, but then purposefully not come, whether or not he had anything to do. That only made him seem more mysterious, which entertained him, because one of those events he skipped he was literally at home talking himself out of giving his mother Samantha’s cat food to see if she even noticed the difference, and that was the highlight of his night. But, he snapped a photo of himself, laying down with his hair free and a thoughtful face, and as suspected, the girl who invited him liked it and asked why he didn’t come over. He didn’t reply.

.

Grace and Simon were walking to her next class and making plans for the weekend whenever this really tall redhead came in between them and just started talking to her. He just… started talking, like they had been having a conversation at some point, and he was resuming it, whether or not she was available. She stopped walking and gave him a look for his audacity. He laughed and said, “Sorry, were you busy?” By that time, Simon had moved around and was standing behind her, but next to her.

“Yeah. I was,” she said, rolled her eyes and turned around.

“Bitch,” they heard. Simon flanked all the way around and was in his face very quickly, baring his teeth at him. The boy laughed, even though he was clearly uncomfortable. “Ummm… What are you gonna do, Laurent?”

“I don’t know, but I know that whatever I do will cost me everything here, so how much damage do you think I’m gonna try in the process?” 

Grace smiled and stepped between them, addressing the redhead, “Look, I don’t want Simon to ruin his future or yours today, but I definitely can’t stop him if you continue to be rude.” Her smile vanished and she said in a hard voice, “He doesn’t like that.” Simon was daring him to even make a move. 

The guy didn’t understand enough about Simon to call his bluff, luckily for him, in a way. Simon didn’t have to attack. But, everyone who saw began to spread it around, how Simon made him look like a coward, defending Grace. Kids started acting a little differently. Whenever Grace would come through, they’d be really nice to her, and she was always super nice back. Simon just seemed to be present, but always paying attention. He made some people nervous. 

Someone whispered about him being her guard dog as they passed one morning, and Grace stopped and turned around, “Who said that?” She asked. Nobody would confess, but she noticed that Simon was staring at one particular girl and so she stepped in front of her. “Hi, what’s your name? I don’t think I know you.”

“Heather.”

“Of course it is. Heather… did you… call Simon my guard dog, a moment ago?”

The girl looked nervous and shook her head. The other students watching weren’t sure what they were going to witness, but they were definitely going to witness it. She was lying. She had said it. Simon had glanced at her as the words left her lips, before she quickly stopped talking when she noticed him watching her. Grace took a deep breath and asked her, “Who does your nails, Heather?”

The girl held out her hand, warming up to Grace’s nice voice, and no sooner had she extended it did Grace bend back her fingers. Heather squealed and Grace told her, “I don’t need any guard dog, Heather.” Students gasped and Grace mushed Heather’s face. “Go to the nurse. You’re gonna need ice.” 

Simon chuckled as he and Grace fell back into step, and the hallway kids made way for them, unsure of what things could set one of them off and make something like that happen again. Meanwhile, Grace went back to speaking warmly to the ones that she liked and had rapport with and completely ignoring others. Simon was just there, with her, softly smiling at her. His arm went around her shoulder and she leaned into him and commented, “Talking about a guard dog. Bitch I’M the guard dog!”

“A common misconception,” he said, laughing, their faces practically touching. 

“I really do save you from harm entirely too much,” she fake complained. 

“That wasn’t harm. That was a girl with a bad dye job mumbling to her friend to seem cool.”

“Well… I didn’t like it!” 

.

Grace had brought Simon around her parents and told them that Simon was her best friend and explained that he was at the academy on a scholarship, but his GPA was the highest in their class and he wrote, built things… Her mother lost interest at some point, but her father had more and more questions for Simon. All he had to do was remain chill. Grace nervously wrung her hands while Mr. Monroe asked Simon more damn questions than he ever even asked HER about her life. She supposed that was because to a degree he knew everything about her life, but she didn’t like it, still. Simon spoke very highly of Grace and even credited her for things that she didn’t remember ever doing or flat out knew that she had not. Mr. Monroe seemed very pleased with each compliment. She supposed it made him feel like they were doing well. After all, they didn’t really ever have to have conversations about her. As long as she was doing everything right, they barely got involved. Her mother began scrolling on her phone. That’s how not concerned she was, both with Simon’s praise of Grace and Simon, period. 

Grace asked, nicely, “Mom, did I mention that Simon took the photos of me that got me that deal?”

“You did. What you keep forgetting to mention is why Simon was in our home that that time of morning and why you were still in the previous night’s clothes.”

“She tried to tell you that at the pumpkin patch on the phone, and you cut her off,” Simon said. The entire room went silent and Grace’s eyes went wide. He didn’t say it rudely or anything, so he was confused as to why they were looking at him like he had most definitely stepped out of line. 

“What he meant was I forgot to tell you later, because I couldn’t tell you at the time, because you were calling me about the offer. I went to an after party, after the dance and I got in late, but didn’t want to wake you. I went straight to sleep, so I was still in it whenever Simon came over the next day for our 4th annual visit to the pumpkin patch.” Simon frowned.

“At which, you didn’t bring home pumpkins.”

“She was the victim of a hate crime,” Simon said.

“WHAT?” Both of her parents said, her mother dropped her phone and sat up.

“Please stop helping me,” Grace said. Simon folded his arms and she explained, “I bumped into a man and he called me a racial charged epithet. I didn’t feel very nice afterwards, so Simon escorted me home.”

“After I had some strong words with him,” Simon said, smirking. Grace fought a smile of her own, but she REALLY wished he’d be quiet. Then again, her parents looked different. They looked concerned, but grateful. Simon had worked magic in her life again. She smiled at him.

Her mother spoke next, “Well, Simon, do you plan on taking our daughter to the Winter Ball?”

“Oh, I um…”

“Because, I’ll have to style you, you understand? You can’t be trusted to do it yourself,” she told him. Grace’s lip dropped. 

“Well, I don’t know if Grace wanted to go to the Winter Ball with me…”

“Yeah! Yes, Mom. We’re going together.”

“Great. Jerry will have to get your measurements as soon as possible.”

“Jerry?”

“The tailor,” Grace said.

He nodded. They… seemed to like him, or at least tolerate him and like the fact that he was taking care of their daughter to the best of his ability.

By Winter, Grace found herself rethinking that whole friendship thing… But, she didn’t say that. She wasn’t going to. Not even when he ran for Student Council president and won despite the fact that she was pretty sure a lot of their class did not like him. Not even when he was bringing trophies into the school. Not even when he was excelling at everything, helping to change things that he was not excelling at, spending time seemingly bonding with her dad and becoming better about shutting up whenever he was in her mom’s presence. Simon had even begun to start going on vacations with them. 

Typically, she had a caregiver, but given her age and the fact that Simon was a nice enough child that they knew was not as fortunate, they would allow him to come, as long as his parents didn’t mind, and get him to assure them that he would make sure that Grace was alright. It annoyed her that (her father) made those “little deals” with him, then he’d tip him, like a lot. Simon joked about going on trips with all those other girls at school who liked him to make bank. Grace didn’t find it funny and he wound up having to suck up to her. The fact that this was very “couplish” type behavior wasn’t lost on him, but they never brought that conversation up since the pumpkin patch. Her parents weren’t usually around them most of the time, but she would be around them more than when she was little (when she annoyed them). 

Her dad seemed to prefer Simon’s company, however. Simon had been starved for a man to like him and Grace was an only child, so she guessed that they were connecting because they were both dudes or whatever. But, during those times, if she tried to establish a connection with her mother, the woman generally seemed exhausted to have to bother with her, or only excited when it came to potential auditions or information about the beauty brand she was dealing with. It made her focus more on her arts and beauty ventures.

Simon helped her with maintaining and managing stuff, and interceding with her mom for ideas that she was too nervous to bring to her. Grace didn’t like how she seemed to be open to his ideas, convinced that her mom never would have heard her out if she had said the very same things! “I think that they’re just used to me speaking up, because I always have while you’ve always just tried to say whatever you thought that they wanted to hear,” Simon told her and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “It’s fine. What they think doesn’t matter, remember? There’s just us.”

But, it sort of felt like it was just her sometimes. She would go to the dance studio for hours, working on routines and post herself online doing choreography and climbing the social media ladder as a dancer. Sometimes, she would make music and songs and feature them with some moves. She was started to capitalize on her talents and kids at school definitely either feared or respected her, no matter what was going on at home. 

Home life wasn’t so bad. Her parents were still very aloof about her, but at least she got to talk business with them, as handling her growing online fame and her brand was a lot of work. 

They eventually hired a team, though. She saw less of them, but they always made sure to be on their best close knit and loving fakeness for appearances and interviews.

They expanded the private community, Monroe Square, and Grace became one of those faces that people saw online all of the time, some new, some worshipped, some hated out of sheer exhaustion with her popularity, but one thing was certain, she ran everything at the Academy.

.

Simon had been focused on his academic career, organizing Grace’s hectic mess of everything that she touched. That girl, sometimes he swore HAD to be doing the things that she did on purpose. Like, whenever she would toss something at a trash can that clearly wasn’t going to go in or even near it and not even look, because she knew that a lemming would rush to rectify her mistake. Or whenever she would be done with something and just toss it into the crowd and watch people scramble over it. He liked that she was bold and powerful. He hated that she was careless and messy, but if her carelessness ever caused a physical issue, everybody knew that he was her muscle. The guy wasn’t large and he was pretty thin, too. But what he lacked in size and stature, he made up for in being absolutely obsessed with taking care of Grace. 

Everyone knew that if she rationalized to him not to attack someone, because he could get into a lot of trouble, that person always mysteriously came into some trouble of their own later. It drove people a little bit angry that somebody on Simon’s “level” was matched up beside someone like Grace, giving him power and privilege that they hadn’t been previously used to him having. (It bothered some of them that Grace ever had any, if we’re being honest). But, there was nothing that you could do about it. They were just the biggest kids in school now. 

Grace got a custom lipstick color that she named Apex Red, and whenever she deemed somebody worthy of being her “friend” read follower, she’d kiss them on the cheek with it and they would be allowed to post it and call themselves members of the Apex - the name her stans co-opted because she used it as a tag so much.

People would always use the hashtags in their posts: TheQueensMark,ApexRed,IAmApex,GraceAndSimon,TheApex - if nothing else those HAD to be in the post. They could be disowned for not following some very meticulous and dedicated rules that Simon put into place in order to try to assist Grace in navigating her online fame with her school popularity and her Apex fanbase with her actually handpicked followers in her real world. He loved that she had stans, but they needed to first and foremost remember where they stood in line of reverence, somewhere beneath him. Nobody was her number one stan or biggest fan or anything similar, and one of the Apex rules was that IF you saw or heard someone suggest it was to correct them by saying that Simon actually was and half the time, they followed it up with, “You’d know that if you were a real fan.”

Sometimes, he’d watch arguments in her comments indicating that he wasn’t “a fan, but cofounder of the Apex. The Apex is Grace AND Simon! She’s the face and he’s the function!” and rebuttals saying, “Simon himself hails Grace as the head of the Apex, you null!” He would like both comments, just to be clear that he saw them and didn’t weigh in. They were both right.

Simon believed in their friendship, their love, their talents, and their power. They were the Apex, but Grace was from money so she had reach that he simply just didn’t, so, she got to be the leader and he was content to be her support. She shared everything with him, anyway. Her success, credit where he would have not taken it, popularity, money, and most importantly for him, herself. She always had time for him. He was worried when she initially began to catch on that it might go to her head and she’d leave him in the shadows, but she ALWAYS looked to see where he was and made sure that he was okay, if she didn’t insist on having him right next to her. 

Whenever they came up the school steps and everybody made way for them to come through, and the fangirls smiled and the fanboys melted, and the teachers shook their heads and rolled their eyes at how extra kids could be, Grace and Simon were always right next to each other. 

Next

[cutegirlmayra]

Metallic Need (Bonus Chapter unedited)

Metallic Need : Bonus Chapter (NOT THE FINAL, FINISHED CHAPTER YET.)

Because my friend loves it and I had to write something for her lolol Love you!

Here is what started it:

Idea about burning oil and Neo Metal Amy laying on her stomach seductively in it (since she can't catch on fire, but she could melt lolol) the oil is around and over her so it looks like she's on fire too.

The power walk like, "This alloy doesn't react to such small heat." (hahaha but the real heat is inside their coding lolololol)

Neo: I always knew you were prone to flames... I just didn't realize you wanted to die so quickly. Metal Amy: It's those red eyes that hold the real desire for destruction, Neo Metal Sonic. Neo: ... Who said anything about destruction? (~) lolol A purring lull in his metallic string of sounds (He's honestly so turned on and she's just like, ARE WE FIGHTING?)

Metal Amy: Let's rumble! Neo: Tumble? I like the sound of tha- Metal Amy: NO.

Neo: You will be under my power... -holds up a clawed hand seductively- Metal Amy: -leans head back and glares- You have no power! Neo: ... -pulls back- Is everything literal to you now?

(Friend: HE TRIES SO HARD, Me: Suffer my friend lolol I have a lot of metallic feels thanks to you and now I'm in the mood to write some robotic flirting XDDDD he's like 'how make robotic attracted to me without physically magnetizing her to me?' He did that... once lolol)

Neo: -walking around her, wants to say so many things but is having a hard time with his heart virus finding just one- Your attempt at luring me with your new form is pointless. I own you. I created you. There isn't a part of you I don't know already... I have your blueprints in my mind as we speak. Such a shame... you truly can't ruin what I have made. No matter what you invent yourself to be, you'll always have me in you. Metal Amy: ? Are you still calling me pretty after all I've done!? Neo: -wide eyed- 'SHE UNDERSTOOD?'

Neo: -getting frustrated and angry- YOU BELONG TO ME! -up in her face with his hand twitching and wanting to just slash into her. Metal Amy: If I had a tongue, I would stick it out at you. Disrespectfully. -looks unfazed. She turns to walk away and he's just crushing his body inwards and twiddling his fingers in the air like AHHHHHHH cause he doesn't know how else to flirt-

AND HERE'S WHAT IT IS:

Neo Metal Sonic paced the laundry room, hands behind his back, impatient. He looked at the clock with a look that stated that if it didn't tick correctly he'd have it destroyed with the broom of doom. He was already finished with the basket of organic filth that had been deposited into the washing machine of torturous existences... so now it was time for Neo Metal Amy to check in on him. He had a plan, a sinister way to escape this prison confine of Amy Rose's Home and take his creation back, it was flawless, the moment was right! He had planned everything down to the last drop of blood he'd drain from each of Sonic's friends... but where was she!?

The time seemed to slow down around Neo Metal Sonic, he grew increasingly hostile, flicking his claws to create heated sparks that flew off like a small sparkler in a fireworks demonstration as he stopped pacing and glared with a beam of red to the door. 'She's LATE.' his entire metal frame was on edge, as though his being was polarizing with magnetic force and crushing itself in and out. "That's it. My inferior programming has subsided for the day!" He looked to check that the dryer of all burning screams was almost completed, and so, he left his post...

Walking around Amy's home, he kicked and put nicks on all her furniture as he passed by, a way to vent without triggering his programming since the 'safety of inanimate objects' wasn't a prioritized programming... so Amy would finds steel foot dents and scraped wood on her cabinets constantly as a way for Metal to still protest his confinement as a butler. Needless to say, she hated it. Finally, he made his way to the flowerbed outside, pretending a moment in his mind to set the whole thing on fire like Amy's repeated red clothes that he wished he could dye in her blood instead of wash in detergent when suddenly... a flash of light came from the lake outside of Amy's home... He stared as the powerful force of whip-lashing wind blew the petals out from the backyard and surrounded the water droplets that sparkled around the metallic frame.

It was the first time Neo Metal Sonic realized... he couldn't fly to her. That sick, twisted realization sent a feeling of hopelessness throughout his heart virus... his shoulders wanted to fall back, but he tried to will them up... but with the heart programming it was useless. They slumped as he watched her send a blast through the lake, training maybe or figuring out better ways to perfect her battle abilities... against him? He hoped. At least that meant she was thinking of him again. At least he was still somewhat important... He tried to kick off the ground by lifting his heel up and shoving it down, but his jet didn't engage... Why... He kicked again, and again, and again, and again until his eyes squinted in their desperate need to grasp her... hold his creation again... be with her again... Like a flightless bird, he felt useless, defective. Out of all her 'tortures' she tried to conceive against him... this was the worst one yet. She finally did spot him, turning gracefully in the air with her duel turbo engines under her dress and by her legs, seeing him in the distance. '...Be with me.' he commanded, before glaring in his rage. 'BE WITH ME.' he tried to send the signal but she was already coming, a threatening claw reeled back to attack him. He waited quietly as her sound drew closer, and then dodged as she spiked the ground, jumping to the roof and making sure to damage it in the process. He held himself high, feigning dominance. "you're late... even for your own 'torture session'... pitiful."

"You say that as though you're excited." she yanked her hand out, glaring, "Prepare to feel death once more... Neo Metal Sonic!" he twitched at her saying he seemed excited, then mentally scolded the infernal heart programming again for giving it away. "I would say prepare yourself, NEO Metal Amy..." He flared, slowly to let the dramatic wind swoop his waist-cloak out flapping into the air menacingly. "I have plans for you as well..." He matched her glare, but it was much more regal then hers, and it infuriated her. She sent out a metallic cry and charged him, flying up to him. 'Yes... come to me... don't take your eyes off of me. Don't ever stop thinking of me.' he jumped to dodge her, as she materialized her hammer as the silver goop formed it and she sent electricity through it, hitting balls of sparking light towards him. He tilted himself in the air, before wildly gesturing as an acrobatic to dodge them, showing off. Not one hit... 'Pay attention, this will be your first lesson!' He twisted himself and landed beautifully on the roof again, slowly rising up. 'You will feel me... you will know only I can satisfy you...' he gripped his claws, and then shred them over her image a few feet away. 'I want to exist in those eyes... forever...' and then he charged her.

As she braces for impact, she also tries to secure her footing and grabs Neo Metal Sonic's shot out clawed hand, having it tightly compacted to look almost like a spike and flings him down like a martial artists dodge. 'Perfect' his eyes dim as he unparts his fingers and grabs her wrist. "What?" She looks confused, wondering what he could possibly be doing as he takes what looks like a charger pack from out of his waist-cloak, "You look a bit... thirsty." and spikes his thumb into it, having sparks fly out as he jams it into the crevice of her arm-guard. She is electrocuted, but with all her batteries, it's not really damaging. "What are you thinking?" She glares, her body twitching only slightly from the effects. "I could just shove energy out of me! This was your big threat!?" He continues to stare at her... "H-huh?" Then it occurred to her... this feeling... there was no pain associated to it anymore. Now that she looked down at her captive hand, she noticed the pleasant streams of... "Feeling." her eyes widened and she began to struggle to get his grip off. "Let go!"

"How amusing... the creation that used to enjoy this so much... now fights against it..."

"You made me hate it!" she kicked his stomach in, but he held his ground, trying to trigger his engine but it still wouldn't work. He could have at least scrapped up her foot with it spinning, though it wouldn't leave a mark on the alloy... it would have still given off plenty of sparks to the party... "Tell me," He tilted one eyelid down, "If feeling was so terribly traumatic for you... then why insist I struggle with it? Has it not occurred to you that perhaps I-" Before he could finish his manipulation, his eyes widened as she began to glow bright yellow from within her systems, and then turned to him fully. "So you know my pain." and jammed herself up against him. The explosion broke the roof as the two fell through, and Neo Metal Sonic did feel the pain... but enjoyed every second of it. Though he was in immense simulated pain, he fought through it and tried to embrace her... even while falling through the roof... he just wanted to keep her locked to his side. When the crashing consumed them, Amy cried out from upstairs and came racing downstairs, jaw hitting the ground as though this was the last straw. He was steaming... his systems fired, but he had successfully locked himself to her... 'Now, to give the command.' his eyes flickered red, almost about to shut down in an emergency protocol. She started to get up, but he sent all his power to executing the command, and was like a stuck accessory around her. "Ugh, get off!" she faked exertion, as though an organic feeling strain. However, she stood up as the rubble fell around her, arms away, looking down at what seemed to be a destroyed Metal... Clinging to her and not letting go. "He must have locked his arms before destructing." she thought, before turning to Amy to apologize. But while she did... a deadly signal was being sent to her... Neo Metal Amy was scolded yet again and banished to the Lake while Amy called for some help. She was still stuck with Neo Metal Sonic's trash tightly holding itself around her, but continued to try and find ways to 'unstuck' herself from him. Until a sudden idea popped into her head. She didn't know where it had come from, but she pulled lightly against Neo Metal Sonic's head and looked into the blank and black screens of his eyes... "...Huh?" she suddenly saw it flicker with an image of her when she was incomplete up on Eggman's storage ship. "That's..." she watched memories pass by on Neo Metal Sonic's screen, of their first experience under the electric shower to the later advanced 'pleasurable' electric charging sessions they had... but he seemed to be purposefully leaving out more of the recent tortures... She shook her head, "So he thinks of the past too much, so what?" she let the head drop, "...There was once a time... I would have liked to see even a shred of kindness from my master..." she thought out loud, not sure why, as though answering another inputted question. "But those days can never be. Not when you're a robot..." What she didn't know... was that Neo Metal Sonic was searching her memories, learning about Omochao and her previous thoughts. Seeing how she escaped, her betrayal, and her reprogramming. But then he sent more signals throughout her, looking for any sign that she wanted to please or be pleased... any weakness that he can draw upon. "To you... my flaws were nothing more than entertainment and pleasure... but to me... All I wanted was your acceptance." she closed her eyes, not sure why she was digging this out of herself again. A twitching, burnt claw hand suddenly skimmed her back... "All I truly desired was to please you... but you never accepted me, and you wouldn't allow yourself to be errored even though you were!" she swiped at his head, so he remained still again. "No matter what I do, you still torment me! Acting as though I'm something valuable to you! When you didn't even know what to do with me in the first place!" she kept hitting him, as he indirectly triggered her with his searching for information. Then he found what he was looking for... He reactivated his flickering eyes, looking slowly up to her as she stopped hitting him and was pushed to the ground. Still holding her, he lifted his hand up to the crook of her head, "I remember... the last look on your face... before I threw you to the canon-fodder..." He clicked a switch that gave him access to her spine's wires... "I remember... how you looked at me that day." She was shocked he was able to survive that, but even more so how he was still operational. "W-what are you..? What do you possible think you can gain from-!?" He pulled a wire out, and her expression suddenly went limp and her head fell back. Electric sparks danced around the loose wire as he held it up to his mouth, figuratively drinking her energy in as he prepared for the last and final stage... "I never wanted to loose you... but I couldn't possibly lose TO you... So in a way, you still please me... whether by your own will or not, it's an objective you can't possibly erase from your programming..." He dipped down once his eyes stabilized from the power source, and began shocking her with her own power. Bending her into him, he made sure he had enough before rehooking the wire in, and watching her flare up anger, trying to pierce her claws into him as he continued to send a pleasurable amount of energy back into her. He was attempting the revolving door again... "Doesn't it feel... entertaining?" he suddenly laughed as her eyelids blinked a few times, as though trying to fight the sensation of being recharged. "Doesn't it make you wish you never tried to be organic!?"

With the sparks sending only good feelings, though some constant pain to Neo Metal Sonic through his spinal antenna, the two were back to their old ways again but Neo Metal Amy continued to struggle. He gripped the sides of her head and pulled her against his sparking frame, trying to replicate what she had done for him by taking a hand and looping it in a twist around her arm, letting the heat and electricity spark up in a jagged line to send the same memorable pleasures back to her. So it seemed like a role-reversal, but Neo Metal Sonic had no idea if this was even working or not. His first plan was to addict her to him again, make her realize he was the only one she could serve instead of the organics, but her flaws seemed to be strengths when he looked at her memories. He was amazed by her continual ingenuity, and how no matter what problem, she seemed to find a way to wrestle out of the sensations of touch were mostly on Neo Metal Sonic's side, he was suddenly finding himself even more drawn to the heart programming when it made him of think of things and do actions he didn't know were an organic sign of affection... but through her memories he found, stage two in finding a flaw and formulating what systems were still intact also came through to give him location to her wires... how to strengthen himself. He couldn't hurt an organic, but there was nothing that said he couldn't 'tempt' her to do the work for him... Finding that she wanted his approval was laughable to Neo Metal Sonic, but if it meant securing her to him, what was to lose? His pride was already tarnished, and he could punish her later... but right now... he twisted his head and turned her into him, desperate to give her what she wanted in exchange to having the command signal closer and hoping to brainwash her... however... the heart virus was immediately activated, and suddenly, he found himself twitching. "Noo..." He finally had want he wanted... why was it-!? "NOOO..." his eyes blared red, his claw left her form and gripped the ground, digging into it as he fought the new expression being triggered. However, he couldn't, and suddenly... his escape plan didn't matter anymore. Neo Metal Amy was under a lot of stimuli, it was as though being drugged up in delight, but her hand hit his chest, trying to force him off again, "M-Metal..." she stuttered, unable to fight for much longer... because this was something she had once wanted... love without pain. In his struggle, he found himself absolutely giving in and focusing only on pleasing her, something he'd never do if he was fully in control of his own assets. "Stop... stop fighting me..." she was confused, not sure why his demeanor had changed and why he seemed less hostile... more desperate... "Metal?" her eyes were closing as sent all he had to her... every last spark before she regained herself and the command signal stopped... Neo Metal Sonic being consumed in making her loyal to him again. She began to recharge normally, and grabbed him to look and see what was going on. "You..." His eyes were... Green. "You're feeling." He bent them, twitching. "No." he stated. "Yes." she nodded, amazed. "You are feeling... for me."

As Neo Metal Sonic's form shook from the realization of what the heart virus forced him to recognize and reveal, Neo Metal Amy couldn't help but be stunned at his vulnerable frame. She was sucked into the moment, the sparks still zapped at times, but now her entire focus was on this new experience he had never felt before. Could it be? Was he really solely thinking of her and nothing else? "... Metal Sonic..." she referring to his previous life, "Do you..." She placed her fingers lightly on his cheek as the heart virus forced him to react as though panting, his chest rising and falling. "I can't..." His eyes were bent... all the hostility and evil she had known looked completely gone from him in this moment. It left her completely taken aback. She continued to look over him, watching the 'errors' manifest so prominently now. "I can never be this..." He kept repeating more and more things, but she tuned it out. He was so afraid of being organic... she didn't realize it was fear. She moved up and cupped his face, her former compassion shining through one more time, even towards this weakened moment for Neo Metal Sonic. "NEVER say that." she tried to command, but she didn't have that programmed into him to obey. "You are not Sonic... but you can be whatever you choose to be. You don't have to be evil, Neo... you could be like me..." she skimmed her thumb upon his muzzle. "...But I want you." he admitted, his hands coming back up to her own, and then sliding down to cling as though ashamed to her face, scooting himself closer to it. "I just want you." She let go of his face, "No... N-no, it's emotions. Metal, you're feeling! You can feel! You can allow yourself to-!" He gripped her head and pushed it up to his forehead, his green eyes trembling. "No." he declared, "NO." he repeated. "I don't want to change, I don't want to reform. I only want you. I don't want to feel, I don't want to emote. I never wanted anything besides the death of Sonic, the title of the superior Sonic, and you. YOU. YO-! VVEEE...vveee...VVERRR..." he suddenly arched his back as he jerked forward, sparking out to have the sensation of her and him spinning in that heated, electric pleasure wheel again before he hadn't checked his own supply counts... plus, with his body mostly destroyed from their last brawl... it was no use. He had sparked his last and fell limp, shutting down. Neo Metal Amy moved quickly, placing his head in her lap, "Neo! Neo, stay with it! Don't say that! Please..!" She ducked her head, as though crying as he closed her eyes and simulated the desperate loss of hope she had just gained for a split second. "Don't give me hope like this and then just reject and deny it like you did me!" as she turned her head away, feeling the doom of him never truly changing... and him always staying the torturous fiend she knew him to be... a tender hand lightly tapped her nose and skidded his sharp finger off of it. "I never... rejected... you..." he then completely feel limp and shut down, fully nonoperational. He may have hated feeling, hated 'errors', hated that he could never measure up to Sonic no matter how hard he tried to be a better 'Sonic' than him... he never turned her away, but embraced her. Her heart programming was so torn. Omochao's data sparked to life again, pleading. 'You aren't meant to be this... you had a good life. Please. Don't get hung on this again... be free.' she shoved the thoughts away, "He's a machine that can FEEL! He wants only power and dominion! But I think... for the first time... he was forced to realize how organic he really can become..." She knew he was stuck in his ways... but for just a moment, a brief moment... he was almost ALIVE. A soul... that could feel and possibly change. When she carried him home and revived him, building him up again. He went back to the same old chores, and didn't speak to her for a full day. Staring at the stars, she finally confronted him... but he looked away, acting as though that exchange... never happened.

the end

(In conclusion, she's gonna name a child after me. My friend: "Micaela, you were named after disgruntled robots with sexual frustration." her: "What?"

Fanficiton: (x)

[asterekmess]

S3A - E1

Okay, instead of making like massive reblogs of thoughts as I have them for the episodes, I’m gonna just make a massive bullet point list that I’ll add to throughout the episode, so you get One post per episode instead of “Like all nine million of them.”

I put Read-More’s because I care.

Thoughts (of which I have far too many):

I’m in the first ten seconds of the fuckin episode. Why the fuck is Braeden electrocuting Isaac? Like, look, I wanna like Braeden. I have issues with her entire moral system, but I still wanna like her cus’ she saves Isaac. But...how am I supposed to do that when the literal first thing she does is electrocute my boy??? He’s knocked out, not DEAD (not that that’s how shocking someone’s heart even Works) and it’s not like she needs to trigger the healing process. He’s already got Gaping slash wounds on his chest. He’s hurt enough. ALSO. “Be quiet”?? R U Serious? You’re electrocuting him. YOU try being quiet with fucking jumper cables on your chest.

The CGI...is so bad. Oh my god. What the absolute fuck. it looks like Sharkboy & Lavagirl. And why aren’t Ethan & Aiden’s claws doing anything to the bike?

I AM CONFUSION. If the twins don’t have to take their pants off to do the Transformers shit, why do they have to take off their shirts? Can...can I just skip that? Make the big bad werewolf wear an ugly hybrid of two of their stupid ass sweaters? Or do Ethan and Aiden really just like being shirtless that much? (I wouldn’t put it past them)

What is with Braeden and the electricity?

The writing in this show, what the fuck? “I thought I told you to hold on” EXCUSE ME, ma’am. He literally just passed out. His bad I guess.

Guess who has to add the anti-scott tag to this now? Anyway, I hate that Allison’s bit in the intro is her kissing Scott and then drawing the bow. Like, they’re broken up. They don’t get together in this season. Why are they kissing in the intro? That had to have Totally pissed off Scallison fans.

There’s my boy, holding up lizard tattoo designs. Pls tell me he took a pic and sent it to Jackson with the caption “It’s YOU.” Like, yes, way too soon, but man it’s fuckin funny.

This tattoo artist is a good-ass salesman. However, p-sure he’s not a good-ass artist if he had to wrap Scott’s arm up That badly. Like...they have stuff for that. Fuck, the one I got on my ankle, they used SaranWrap and Tape. Just needs to be kept out of the open air for a bit. You don’t need like eight layers of gauze. I do feel for Scott tho. That tat probably cost him like $50-75 before the tip. Oof.

Eyyy, time to be salty. Ya’ll know I love Allison, but does it get any more clear that she totally bailed on everyone after the warehouse? She went to France! She doesn’t even know what happened to Jackson after he got cured. ALSO. Lydia says “Derek taught him the werewolf 101.” Not Scott. Derek. XP

Lydia, honey, leave Allison alone. If she doesn’t want to go on the double date, go alone and make it an orgy. Fun, right? Wait, no. Don’t. You’re 16. Don’t do that!

When exactly did they “agree to give each other the summer”? She said “I’m breaking up with you.” he said “I’ll wait” and then she cried into her dad’s arms. Like...why didn’t we get to see this apparently incredibly important conversation? (maybe because it didn’t happen??)

I fucking LOVE the “I’m just gonna say hi. HEYYYYY! You know....they probably didn’t see us.”

The most horrific thing about that moment was the bad CGI.

I WANNA POINT OUT how cute it is (in a like, sad way cus’ she’s terrified) that Lydia is close enough to Stiles now that she immediately goes for his side and they like insta connect with the eye contact. Not in like a Stydia way, but like, they’re close. she trusts him and goes to him when she’s scared, even though he’s human and you’d wonder if she shouldn’t go to Scott instead, since he’s the werewolf.

SCOTT WHY ARE YOU TOUCHING THE DEAD DEER. Your ability to smell chemosignals/sense emotions has nothing to do with touching. Stop poking the dead animal.

Wait, WHY is there a full moon in that shot? The full moon isn’t for like a week! I COUNTED.

...what? Why the fuck does Braeden think Scott’s an Alpha? Why tho? Like, seriously? WHY? He’s not an Alpha yet. Nowhere near it. And if she knows bc Deaton told her (i think he was the one who hired her) then shouldn’t she know he isn’t one yet? IF SHE KNOWS that she can tell Melissa abt werewolves, WHY doesn’t she know that Scott’s Melissa’s son? Where is the LOGIC?

Scott’s morning routine is giving me Legally Blonde vibes. ~my perrrfectt dayyy, nothing standing in my wayyy~

I can’t tell. did Allison get highlights, or straight up dye her hair brown?

This sweet moment between her and her dad. Yes. Pls.

I will admit, I like getting to see each of their mornings.

Lydia...who are you fucking? Honey, you’re sixteen. Why isn’t whoever the fuck is in bed with you also getting ready for school? What.....the fuck?

Completely different Beacon Hills High School set. I really can’t blame the writers for that.

Wtf Davis? You list Erica and Boyd as being 17...since when? They’re supposed to be entering their Junior Year of high school. They would be 16 GOING ON 17. ANd what the hell do you mean Erica’s birthday is August 16th? She said in the last season that she’d “Just turned 16 a month ago” that was Spring semester. ???? Come on, guys. Seriously. Writing 101, getting to know your characters. I don’t know anyone writing a novel who doesn’t know the exact birthday of their characters. Plus, they cut 2 in. from Gage Golightly’s actual height, while adding an inch to Sinqua’s (according to google, which isn’t always reliable) Whatever. Boooooo.

Uh...that principal was threatened by the Argents. Victoria herself promised to torture him if he didn’t resign. Why does he look so surprised by the fucking sword in his office? For that matter, why is he at the school at all? He KNOWS the Argents attacked him. This should cause problems!

Honestly, Lydia, I love you. Like, go for it. Nothing wrong with not wanting to date and just wanting to have fun. My issues stem from YOU BEING 16. Yes, teenagers have sex. But this is ridiculous. Why is there so much sexualization? I knew a grand total of like....two teenagers who had sex at 16? and like one who did at 15 (which they say in canon she and Jackson were banging before her birthday). Like, it’s not nearly as common as y’all are making it out to be. Knock it off.

WHEN DID MELISSA MEET ISAAC PROPERLY? WHEN did that HAPPEN?

....so why didn’t Derek answer the phone? They literally never explain? He shows up, so...why didn’t he answer?

I’m SO InCredibly Disturbed by Jennifer having everyone’s phone numbers. HOW? In What Way is that REMOTELY appropriate? WHY did no one question it? Why didn’t STILES or LYDIA question it?

So tiny, bugs me so much. He didn’t turn his phone off. He turned his screen off...is it that hard to have him do the right one?

uhhh. Werewolves can smell other werewolves. Wanna tell me why Isaac can’t tell a werewolf just walked in the room? An ALPHA no less?

why TF are Kali’s iris’ and pupils so fucking massive?

So...what was the deal with the birds? Don’t they say later that Jennifer like summoned them? So they aren’t from the Alpha pack scaring animals? And also, how would the Alpha pack be scaring animals if they’re like, in the middle of town? They said in S1 that “wild animal sightings are up” like what 75% or something? “As though something is scaring them out” but that made sense, bc we knew Peter was running around in his full-shift (it’s a fucking full shift, it’s just fucked up) in the woods. But these Alphas aren’t, they’re integrating. So is it Jennifer that the animals are afraid of? Like, does she have sPoOkY aura or something?

More bad CGI.

WHy is no one responding to the woman stumbling around in nothing but a hospital gown?

ONCE AGAIN. Werewolves can Sense Werewolves. SCOTT you sensed Isaac in a BOYS LOCKER ROOM. DUKE IS RIGHT THERE. WHT THE FUCK?

angry smoker doctor  “Why don’t you wheel this joker out of here?” “I’m gonna go smoke” Grrr

Sir. clearly your mask wasn’t tied on appropriately. it shouldn’t just Fall Off when you touch it. there are Protocols! STOP THE SPREAD. also, someone wanna tell me why none of these alphas can keep their claws in? A lil flashy flashy red eye would’ve done the trick just fine.

Okay no, seriously what the FUCK is up with these contacts, you guys? THEY”RE MASSIVE???

Ugh, can I just *swoons* “I’m an Alpha!” slice “So am I.” That is just so fucking smooth. Woo. I feel so safe ohmygod. PLUS. Derek KNOWS Ennis. I can’t imagine how satisfying that had to be.

Uh, Derek, honey. You’re Isaac’s legal guardian. You can just Sign Him Out of the hospital. With clothes and everything. What are you doing?

Honey, what do you mean the county took it over? If they were gonna do that they’d have done it six fucking years ago. Unless you gave it to them, it’s still yours? I did the research. Like HOURS of it.

What do you MEAN there’s a magic healing herb that helps with Alpha wounds? Since when do Alpha wounds need extra healing, I thought they just took a lil longer? ALSO why is it growing INSIDE your house???? SCOTT. Isaac is fucking UNCONSCIOUS. Can your tattoo fucking WAIT A MINUTE?

I have so many questions. WHY does Braeden know who Allison is? If Lydia’s immune to magic, WHY is Braeden able to bruise her? WHY can Braeden DO magic? and WHY is Chris allowed to take Lydia out of school?

ALLISON you had Geometry LAST YEAR why are you holding a GEOMETRY BOOK??

ohhhhmygod, Derek. Derek. DEREK. Your eyes are pretty on a normal day. That little Blink and ruby reds thing? Ohmygod. I just. I wanna take a picture and just stare at it BUT. how tf does this whole red eye thing work? You can see in the dark....but now you also have x-ray vision? You know, I could believe it was thermal vision...maybe? If Scott was still healing for some reason maybe the tattoo would be brighter? Otherwise I have no idea what is going on.

BUT SCOTT”S NOT 18??? He’s Still fucking 16, or even 17, but not 18. WTF? He needs parental consent in the first place (i should’ve mentioned this in the other note abt the tattoo)

uhh...seriously? When someone breaks up with you and tells you not to talk to them anymore...why do you need a reward for doing as they asked? Like, yeah, you’re sad, I feel that. But making it a ‘reward’ sounds kinda weird. You know what makes it really easy not to text the ex that doesn’t wanna talk to you? Delete her number.

WHY THE BLOWTORCH? SOMEONE WANNA EXPLAIN? Peter’s not covered in tattoo from when he was literally burned alive, why the FUCK would a blowtorch create a black tattoo on Scott’s skin?

DEREK. HONEY. Why would Stiles be able to hold Scott still??? Scott’s a werewolf.

All this bullshit to explain away Posey’s tattoo that he got. Like, damn dude, we all like tattoos, but you have a job that needs bare arms on the regular. That was kinda rude.

Where did braeden get clothes? I forgot to ask.

uhhhh. Ephemeral might technically work in that sentence, but that’s still really awkward.

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DESTROY HIS DOOR? YOU FUCKING ASSHAT. And WHY the instant fucking grr face? “why’d you paint the door?” uhh, leave him alone? He can do what he wants? It’s his house? Also, don’t get all fucking rude about the alpha pack. He told you it was a rival pack.

KALI. PUT SOME FUCKING SHOES ON. JESUS.

Why exactly does Scott see the symbol and INSTANTLY put together that it’s got anything to do with the Alphas or the animal attacks? Where is the logic jump there?

What exactly was the POINT of popping your claws if you were gonna kick her in the face???

UH, Melissa? Why didn’t you tell Scott that there was a whole other person with Isaac?

What is with the face touching, Duke? I’ve never known a blind person who actually wanted to rub their hands on my face to ‘find out what i look like?’

Really not a fan of all these weird jumps and camera angles with the awkward reflecting.

WOah WOah. Allison gets to PAINT her APARTMENT? Wtf kinda BULlshit is that? My landlord won’t let me do that. Rude.

I know they’re imprisoned and it sucks, but they’ve been there for four months, they had to have gotten bored. Do you think they broke into any of the security deposit boxes to see if anything was left behind?

Last thoughts: They really went for it with this episode. I have plans to change a lot of it. Hopefully I can mesh the changes with the general plotline.