#because it's absolute bullshit how much i try to do
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Remember that controversial post I made and got death threats over where I said "Can we please stop attributing gifts and talents and intelligence to mental disorders? Can we please stop saying brilliant inventors or extremely talented people like those super talented Hibachi grill people are 'Autistic' or 'Show signs of extremely high functioning autism' and go back to JUST ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THEY PAID ATTENTION IN SCHOOL OR PRACTICED THEIR SKILL??????"
Yeah.
This is what I'm talking about.
It's this microaggressive wave of people trying to take the accomplishments of gifted people and attribute them to mental disorders, to belittle them.
It's like, sociopathic pathology at a fucking massive social scale, to the point where people who excel in a subject think they must have autism or some shit instead of feeling genuinely proud of their talent, gift or hard work. It holds you back from being happy for how much you've accomplished because these people have fed you this "Oh you're autistic" bullshit, taking away your personal accomplishments and attributing them to a mental disorder you must have.
Because you can't just be talented. You can't just be smart. You can't just enjoy reading and getting lost in a book and letting your imagination paint the fictional world you're reading about.
Nah. If you do that you're disassociating and have autism.
People with mental disorders can absolutely be gifted.
But being gifted, talented, practiced or well-read ARE NOT RESULTS OF FUCKING MENTAL DISORDERS.
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CW: Infertility (Coming from my own experience just...with a uterus.)
Thinking right now about Steve who wants his own family really bad, but finds out he's 100% infertile.
He only finds out after a failed marriage. His first marriage. Has a beautiful, wonderful, just absolutely incredible wife who accepts everything about his past—stuff he won't talk about and otherwise. Yet, the one thing they knew for certain was a definite in their relationship was children. However, for some reason (that I don't have), his wife rejects the idea of adopting children. So they try. They try and try and try.
Eventually, they get their eggs and sperm analyzed. Her eggs are healthy, her uterus is fine, no complications associated with her ovaries.
Steve, in his next visit, finds out he's infertile. It's not genetically caused. His parents were very fertile, just decided to have only one child. And—maybe due to some Upside Down bullshit; bat bites being untreated, injuries being too traumatic—his sperm production and his sperm vitality are completely destroyed.
He's devastated, of course he is. Brings it up to his wife. They agree to go their separate ways because this was something they both wanted, but now can't have.
And then he just floats about for a while. Quiet and disheartened.
He goes back to Hawkins and bumps into Eddie. Now, I'm thinking, personally, that this isn't some romance story. They're strictly platonic in this scenario (for now).
They get to talking and somewhere in the conversation, Steve's infertility comes up. Eddie tries to gently explain to him that there's other options to have children. "Foster care," he says, "it's where I was for a while. You can adopt from an orphanage, from a hospital. There's always the option for surrogacy, y'know. A lot of different"—
"Eds," Steve interrupts, "I appreciate this, but I...I don't want to talk about it anymore. It hurts too much to think about."
"Sorry," Eddie apologizes.
Steve just shakes his head, resigned. "It's not your fault," he murmurs, "guess I'm just upset that my body doesn't work the way it's supposed to."
"Not everybody's works the way it's supposed to, Steve."
"Yeah," he whispers, "but I was sorta hoping my own would."
There's a lull in the conversation. A long while of just silence and a cigarette being passed and the gentle rustle of trees around them. Outside, in the Forest Hills trailer park, staring down a set of rusted swings.
"How do you think I should handle this, Eddie?"
"Hm?"
"This...this body issue. What am I supposed to do about it? I'm, like...like grieving over nothing."
"You grieve, Steve," Eddie answer simply, "you get angry and you cry. That's all you can really do."
"I don't want to be angry, though. I want...I want to be happy. I want my dream to come true! I want"—he sighs and swallows and looks on ahead of him. To a place he once visited constantly when he still lived full-time in Hawkins, not just passing through. Out on a town that he once called home, a place where he couldn't be the person he wanted to be. Couldn't get what he needed.—"I want to love my kid in a way I never got."
And Eddie looks to him. To his profile. Shuffles closer, cigarette out on the porch. Arm wrapping over Steve's shoulders, tugging him in. "I know," Eddie whispers, "I'm sorry, Steve. I'm really, really sorry."
"It's not your fault, Eds."
"It's not yours either."
He keeps staring out. To a place that was hopeful. Where his dreams bared new. When things seemed reasonable and he could face everything head-on and knew exactly what he wanted for himself. A future of laughter and soft lullabies and hugs warm enough to soothe the world.
There'll be other chances. But not now. Not when he's like this.
"I know," he merely mutters, "I know."
#stranger things#steddie#steve harrington#eddie munson#cw: infertility#infertilit#angst and hurt/comfort#partially a hopeful ending#but. guess I couldn't even give y'all that
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The Hellfire Exotic Club Part 11
Welp.
Fuck.
Good news for you guys, bad new for me. I accidentally labeled two chapters as Chapter 12. There AREN'T thirteen chapters. There are FOURTEEN.
So I'll figure out when to post the extra chapter. But in the meantime:
Enjoy Eddie giving the denouement. Like that's it. That's whole chapter.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11
~
Eddie called everyone into the club. Billy Hargrove, Heather Holloway, Nancy Wheeler, Jason Carver, Wayne and all his crew. The only one that wasn’t there was his ace in the hole.
“Thank you all for coming,” Eddie said, sitting on the edge of the stage while everyone sat around in the tables.
Hilariously Nancy and Jason sat as far apart from Billy as possible. What was even more hilarious was that Billy, Stella, and Heather formed a weird triangle trying to keep their distance without looking like it was deliberate.
“Just so everyone is aware,” he said with a grin. “Everything is be recorded, audio and visual.” He pointed to the cameras.
Nancy frowned, but merely crossed her arms and said nothing.
“These past couple of months have been the hardest the club has ever faced,” he began, “in all its history of being opened. And everyone just kept telling me it was bad luck. That bad news comes in waves and that we would ride this out same as always. But it all felt so contrived and I could not figure out why.”
“The absolute arrogance!” Jason huffed. “Thinking you know better than God!”
“Oh honey,” Eddie purred. “I’d have to believe in him to think that. Which I don’t, so shut it. “
Jason grumbled, but wisely settled down.
“Everyone also seemed to think this all started with the arrival of Steve,” he said, causing Steve to flush in embarrassment. “But Steve only got hired because I needed a new Envy.”
“Which I still think is bullshit,” Billy huffed. “What I do off the clock is none of your God damned business.”
Eddie shrugged. “And normally I would agree with you, Billy but you add in it was the mayor’s daughter and I wasn’t going to court legal trouble. But somehow I did anyway. So why?”
Everyone looked around at each other, trying to suss out who was to blame.
“You see I was missing a piece of the puzzle,” Eddie said, leaping off the stage to his feet. “And hooboy, did I get it when I talked to Jonathan Byers.”
Nancy’s head shot up, her jaw slack and her eyes wide. “I don’t have to sit here and listen to this gibberish.” She got to her feet and grabbed her purse.
“What’s matter, Nancy?” Steve said, sidling up Eddie. “Don’t you want to hear how Eddie figured out your scheme?”
Her head snapped around. “There is no scheme it’s all in the deluded mind of the this deranged individual. I will not be part of this.”
“You’re fianceé will probably get arrested,” Eddie said with a half shrug. “For her part in the scheme.”
Nancy turned around slowly. “I’m dating Jonathan. You just said my fianceé was female. A her.”
Jonathan came out from backstage. “That’s right, I’ve been the other man for years. But it was okay with Heather because she got off on cuckolding with other men, too.”
Everyone gasped as they turned to look at Heather.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she huffed, examining her nails.
“You see,” Eddie said, “it always struck me as odd that she would still have a fiancé after being caught with Billy. But there was never any indication that they had broken up. But when Jonathan had told me about the photography studio I got it. Steve wasn’t supposed have been involved at all. It was an accident and one that sent Nancy scrambling.”
He started walking around the room pointing out all the players. “Billy got played as much as Jonathan did. I’m not sure how Nancy got to Stella, but Stella was supposed to target whoever it was that I hired to replace Billy.”
“For all your talk of equals,” Stella spat, “the men still out numbered us women two to one. All she had to do was ask, though she paid me too. I didn’t realize that she was planned on shutting the place down. I thought she was trying to get you to sell it.”
“Then go to a different strip joint,” Eddie said rolling his eyes. “Oh wait... it’s because I actually pay my strippers. Do you really think that the new owners would be as generous?”
She gave little half shrug with a moue. “It would have been if I bought it.”
Everyone gasped again.
“Go to hell, Stella,” Bakir hissed. Bakir was an immigrant and his English wasn’t very good. “Would be horrible boss.”
“Fucking hell,” Scott agreed. “I’d take Eddie over anyone willing to hurt people for money.”
Danny raised her hand. “Which brings up an interesting point, what does Nancy get out of this?”
Eddie grinned and snapped his fingers at her. “I was thinking the same thing. What does Nancy Wheeler get out of shutting down these businesses? And the answer is a world-wide exclusive to the story. I think she got this high off getting the lab shut down when she was in high school that she had to keep chasing. That same high serial killers get.”
“So what did start all this?” Steve asked from the table he shared with Scott and Robin.
“Jason Carver,” Eddie said smugly. “When Chrissy broke up with him, he became enraged. He had known that Nancy had done exposés before and brought her to one of the Sin nights. She didn’t agree to it until she heard that it was one of the places Jonathan cleaned on occasion.”
Jason’s head whipped around to face her. “This wasn’t enough on its own?” he huffed waving wildly at the poles on the stage.
“No,” Eddie said shaking his head with a huff. “She had to control Jonathan because if he got wind of her schemes he would leave her for good.”
“Damn right,” Jonathan snarled. “And this is me breaking up with you Nancy.”
“You don’t know what you are doing Jonathan,” Nancy purred. “I’m trying to save your soul. Or I could tell Mommy all about how you took pictures of me while I was undressing. A sweet, underaged girl.” She batted her eyelashes at him.
Jonathan began laughing. “That? That’s what you’ve been holding over my head all this time? I told my mom about that when I got into a fight with your then boyfriend and the cops got called. Fuck you.”
She snapped her mouth shut and glared at him. Her hold on him well and truly gone.
“Back to the scheme,” Eddie said landing at Heather’s table. “The first thing she did was find out the weak parts of my operation. She must have overheard me telling Jeff, that a political scandal would be grounds for instant termination.”
Nancy shrugged. “That alleyway is so easy to hide in, you really should get that checked.” She winked at him.
“Then she deployed her fianceé,” Eddie continued clicking his tongue against his teeth, “to find an easy mark to get into bed with. Immediately she zeroed in on Billy. Loud, obnoxious, and egotistical. He was perfect.”
“Fuck you,” Billy huffed. “No one made me do anything!”
Eddie chuckled. “Too easy, honestly. It’s honestly the one fault I find in your plan, you could have chosen someone a little more difficult.” He held up his thumb and forefinger close together.
“But I digress.” He held up his hands. “Billy would get caught with Heather, by Nancy, a part left out the papers because she has friends in high places in those publications.”
Again Nancy looked smug.
“You won’t be so smug when Eddie gets through with you,” Steve said shaking his head. “Where are your denials now?”
“Why deny any of it?” she asked with a laugh. “He’s painting me to be some evil genius, that’s quite the accomplishment.”
“Don’t worry, I’m just getting started,” Eddie assured her, walking over to where Stella sat with Danny and Levi. “This is where she tripped up. Stella was supposed to keep escalating the attacks on the new dancer until they got seriously hurt or they quit. Only they weren’t counting on Steve. Steve whom, if Nancy let get hurt like that would seriously damage her reputation. So tried everything she could to dislodge him herself. But Steve was already entrenched into the club’s culture. So she had to show her hand early so that Stella would be forced to stop the attacks against him.”
“I knew it was a risk,” Nancy admitted with a shrug. “I thought I could appeal to his better nature and our friendship, but he likes stripping.”
Steve laughed. “Hell yeah, I do. It’s good money and better company.”
Nancy rolled her eyes.
“But then it really unraveled,” Eddie said with a grin, “when Jonathan spotted Steve coming out of the dressing room after his lap dance and asked for help. He wanted to know Steve knew of any place that would be willing to take him on full time.”
“When I found out she was willing to help Steve get a job,” Jonathan spat, “but was constantly undermining my ability to even hold a job, I was willing to take anything Steve could help me get so I could get out from under her thumb.”
“Then I met with him,” he continued. “I found him to be genuine and hardworking. His foreman spoke highly of him and all I needed to know was what position he would take. So everyone I would you like you to meet Jonathan Byers, the new chef’s assistant under Monty.”
All the crew of Hellfire clapped except Stella, Levi and Danny.
“And I would like to introduce you to our three new dancers,” Eddie finished with a wink. “Micaella Dimitriou, Kyle White, and Mason Clark. After all Levi, Danny, and Stella are under arrest now.”
“What?!” Danny squawked, leaping to her feet as cops swarmed the club.
Immediately Heather started crying about how she was tricked into all this and how much of a victim she was. All while Nancy screamed about how much of a bitch she was and how she never loved her.
In the end, Jason, Heather, Nancy, Stella, Levi, and Danny were all carted away for varying offenses.
Eddie dusted his hands off. “Right now that garbage has been cleaned out, I am announcing that we are closing the club for two we–”
A roar of outrage erupted from the rest of the crew.
He held up his hands. “Just for two weeks and you’ll get paid based on the average from last year. We are going to be doing some remodeling and it will allow the new dancers time learn their roles.”
There was some murmuring, but that was fair enough.
“Micaella will be in Megera,” Eddie said, “the Fury of ancient Greece. Mason as Set, the Egyptian god of chaos, and Kyle as Kimaris, marquis of hell.”
That got a lot more cheers and excitement.
“Megera will be taking over as Wrath,” Eddie said. “But this time I did give anyone the chance the audition for it.”
Scott snickered. “I still don’t know how you kept it from those three, it was brilliant seeing their shocked Pikachu faces.”
“Oh!” Eddie said with a shy smile. “That was easy. I didn’t tell anyone it was to replace them except for a couple of close confidants.” He shrugged. “I even had them come in, told them it was for a new routine.”
Gareth raised his hand. “He didn’t tell me. Probably because I would have blabbed it all over the place.”
“He didn’t tell me either,” Chrissy said, “I think he wanted me to have plausible deniability if Stella came after me. Which she had shown in the past she was willing to do.”
“Right in one,” Eddie said snapping his fingers at her with a fond smile. “I only told Wayne, Steve, and Scott.”
Jonathan tilted his head to the side. “Why those three?”
Eddie started counting off on his fingers. “Wayne and Scott because they were going to be helping me hire. And Steve because he figured it out on his own. Didn’t you, beautiful?”
“The dance he was having us learn was very...” Steve said with a blush, “angry?” He snapped his fingers. “Fierce! That’s the word. I also knew that Billy had be conspiring with Stella, so I figured that Eddie was going to replace her.”
“Fair enough,” Chrissy said. “So what are all the changes that are being made?”
Eddie launched into getting new tables and chairs, a new stage, a better sound equipment and eventually a new wing, but that would take longer than the two weeks he was willing to be closed. He explained that they would continue to work at night, while the construction crew worked during the day.
“Then to celebrate the new opening,” he said, “we’ll finally do the fairy tale night!”
Then the cheer really did go up. They had been wanting to do that for ages. They had their costumes and had the dances down, but first Chrissy hurt her ankle and then this shit came up and it was past time for them to do it.
Eddie giggled. “Is this why detectives do this shit? Because holy hell was that a rush!”
~
Tag List: CLOSED
1- @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @gloomysoup
2- @gregre369 @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system
3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog
4- @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @garden-of-gay
5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon
6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman
7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth
8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss
9- @dreamercec @sadisticaltarts @too-much-tma-stuff @dolphincliffs @chameleonhair
10- @themoonagainstmers @novelnovella @micheledawn1975
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i so badly want to not be the bigger person.
ive let people step all over me for my entire life. in earlier years, cos i was naive; in later years cos. i thought it's what i should've been doing. to not cause others distress so i would just take it all upon myself.
until everyone all got a bit too comfy with taking advantage of my kindness and accommodating. and they fucked me up beyond anything i can comprehend now. and im tired of it.
if you can't match or respect what i can give. i really don't want much association with you. because im tired of meeting people 100% of the way to not even get .01% of anything back.
so when this selfish, uncaring ex of mine told me im no longer welcome to live in the apartment i struggled to clean for 10 years by myself for him not ever contributing to housework cos he saw earning money as his only duty, and made me leave my cats with him that i did everything for, feeding, bathing, grooming, medicating, cleaning litter boxes and taking to vet appts and often times paying for those appt unless they were more than i had in my account meanwhile all he wanted to do for them was sometimes cuddle them (because he often ignored them too)
the hurt, bitter side of me wants to message his friend that he now spends all his time with and what has lead to the even further decline of him ever paying attention to me and tell her how much he's affected me over the years. how because he made me take on the 'housewife' role of doing the cooking, cleaning, groceries, pet care AND work a 40/hr a week job that kept putting me in positions that i never wanted to be in and completely overwhelming me for 8 hours a day, five days week..
that im and even more broken and disabled person now bc of partial contribution from him. and that i think he resents the fact that im. so. fucked up i struggle to function on a daily basis for having weird brain episodes of dissociation, confusion, exec dysfunction that makes doing tasks harder, time blindness, unfocused most the day.. etc.
how shitty it is that he did every activity i ever waited on him to make time to do with me but it never happened, with her. how he's never respected or acknowledged my queer identity and even made fun of/misgendered/dead named his trans sister (and for some reason so many people felt safe and comfortable to come out to him, i don't get it) and he would brag about getting strangers her barely knew on the internet for less than a year's pronouns correct.
how he now. is doing some. of the house tasks that i literally had to BEG him to do to help me out just a little bit when we were together so i could finally sit down and relax for a while.
how literally hours. after informing me he no longer wanted me to live with him and made my only choice of residence my parents house who I've been terrified of for two years because they refuse to try and understand my mental illness issues... and also in the two weeks following.. he's asked me three times if ill babysit the cats that as of right now im only allowed to VISIT after I've been a part of their lives for all of their entire lives.. so he can go on vacation to visit her again. that would make 3 vacation trips he would be taking in 3 months.
ive never taken a vacation. ever. we either never had enough money, couldn't get vacation time off at the same time or wouldn't have anyone to watch all of our cats. the only time we planned a trip was for a weekend anime convention (would have been my first ever con and i was planning over a year for it) in 2020 and obviously. that fell through.
and after all of this. after everything he's done. after everything he's put me through. he thinks we're the best of friends right now. when in reality.. i hate his fucking guts. i want to cuss him out so bad. i literally wrote 20 full pages of shit for him when i thought i was going to get my things and my cats and never speak to him again and it was gonna be my final words to him.
because he disgusts me. i so badly want his friends to know. his followers. his discord server. i want them to know that it doesn't even matter the longevity of your time knowing him, it doesn't secure him respecting u and treating u well. it doesn't matter how much you've done or sacrificed for him. if he's not the center of attention and the aunmbject matter for everything topic and conversation, it's not worth his time.
he let his partner struggle for years trying to keep up a household and care for increasingly more animals over 10 years. he refused their identity and continued to misgender them on a daily basis. he ignored every attempt his partner tried to make to spend time with him because he prioritized streaming and hanging out online over his partner. he refused to figure out how to communicate despite many desperate pleas for communication. (he stressed out and pressured his ace partner for years for sex when they didn't want to participate and quite honestly probably for the same reasons of 0 communication and he was more in it for himself than anything).
as interaction started to dwindle between us, the few times we did chat it always had to be him speaking or topics around him: his daily video game adventures, his job, how stressed and tired he was. if i spoke or spoke too long (i had to start cutting everything i said down to size because he would never let me speak) he was quickly trying to get away from me or shut me up.
.. melatonin has gotten to me and i forgot my train of thought. my point is.. he's not treated me well. he wants constant attention and praise for every minor thing he does ut he doesn't wanna give any back. at least in my case. and all i ever did was try and make him happy. try to make his life easier and stress free. while he did the exact opposite for me. and he still wants to take from me after it's now all over.
i don't want to be the nice person anymore. he doesn't deserve that from me after wasting 14 years of my life and causing 2 major identity/relationship meltdowns, constant imposter syndrome, increasing amounts of anxiety and nonstop life disruptions that i never could process and settle bc as soon as i tried to get used to whatever way he caused change, he'd cause more.
fuck him. and fuck cishet men.
#there's prolly more i wanted to bitch about cos man there's a lot of shit to this bullshit relationship#but my brain is trying to shut off and it's hard to think#and if anyone so much as says any bullshit on this#im deleting u so fast#cos im having an extremely bad time and im entitled to being angry and whatever wheel of emotions is happening from all this#because it's absolute bullshit how much i try to do#help- protect whatever it is i do for others to keep being treated this way as if im not even human or have feelings at#all#people have fucked me. up and it's not fair and i feel so bad for any future people to ever meet me cos over explain it all so hopefully#someone understands and won't fuck me up for once#also these tags are being fucky im too tired to fix
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Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.
#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town#but like. We have Differences Of Opinion#and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off#but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on#but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him#but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him#and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit#like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men#but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD#like bro#I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle#and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope#but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own#like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little#like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang#but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me#like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit#But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy#I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me
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…what does it say about me that I will literally walk myself through hell for someone I love so long as I can hold onto the assurance that they love me back, anyway.
#tiger’s roar#mental health bullshit#…cptsd is a bitch. this whole situation is. a fucking bITCH.#the only variable that can change…is feeling like I’m setting myself on fire#to try to heal. just to see you again.#because the only alternative is to Not Go#and never see you. basically lose you#which. you’re gonna hate. you’re gonna hate it that I’m gonna do this#but. the only other alternative is. to literally not attend church#…and then never get to see you. either I fight through this and attend. or I don’t#but yeah. I feel Absolutely Wretched just. mentally poking at this. not even stepping foot there yet#but. there IS no other option. and we both know it#and I love you more than I am afraid. I can’t NOT try to see this through. can’t NOT try to heal best I can#but…I feel mentally and physically terrible. and this is just poking at it. to try and see how much work has to be done#…uh. a lot. a lot of work.
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please love jewish people at LEAST as much as, if not more than, you hate antisemites. yeah we'd all punch a nazi but will you stand by our jewish friends, defend them, love them?? they deserve that just as much as they deserve to see the people who hate them get their shit rocked
#i say 'at LEAST' with my whole heart#because it should be 'more than' but i guess i'm asking people to start where they can#because there are so many posts about hating antisemites and punching nazis (shoutout to the antisemite-killing capybara tumblr took away)#but not as many about loving jewish people#defending them#supporting them#the posts i do see about those things tend to be from the jewish lovelies i follow#and that's not right#they shouldn't have to advocate for themselves to be stood with#we should just be doing that#and when we don't know how: ask!!!#listen!!!#please#they have been through too much and continue to be forced to go through too much and they deserve INFINITELY better and why the fuck is#no one besides them saying this?? saying anything??#please love jewish people enough to at least be there for them if nothing else#let them know they are loved#because they are#and this world has failed to make sure they know that#i'm not saying i'm a great ally - at all - but i TRY#and i will always try. because we're all human beings and i have so much love for this wonderful and resilient community#and because i am so angry and sad and disgusted with all the absolute bullshit that's going on.#if someone dared to say something hateful in front of me i'd step the fuck up. because i can.#and so can you
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Some Brute doodles plus a bonus Button
#keese draws#eternal gales#Ive been thinking abt them a lot lately#theyre my other quote unquote time looper#and those quotes are pretty damn big because its entirely within their own control brute just has time rewinding abilities basically#but they sort of did a self inflicted timeloop to try to save one of their friends (softie)#it was. a rough time.#and spoilers but it didnt end well softie in the current version of reality died as a child#the past timeline stuff is mostly nonexistent within eg proper but sprinkles and tali both get to remember some stuff so good for them#<- bad for them. they do not have a good time#butter (aka current brute) would have remembered if it wasnt for the hastag brain damage#I have a LOT of thoughts and feeling on past timeline stuff but thats either stuff Ive already talked abt or stuff Im too tired to explain#well I've already explained everything in this post before but shhhh I like to imagine newcomers will actually read this#but yeah brute is my beloved they absolutely suck ass at being a timelooper they have no imagination and little patience#two of their group spent the entire period of the loops repeatedly murdering eachother and brute Never found out#all because they were too honed in on like 3 staliens to even consider how weird it was that one or both of them would Always go missing#just sprinkles showing up bleeding out like yeah. looser went to a farm where he can run around and be happy. dont worry abt it.#brute isnt stupid but they are impatient and bad at emotional stuff which makes keeping track of everyones issues hard as hell#theres so much fucking drama going on in this gaggle of teens getting them to not murder eachother is a challenge that even the more#emotionally intelligent characters arouns wouldnt be able to solve without a great deal of struggle#so brute spends a huge deal of it all feeling incredibly lost and frustrated and this leads to them making some rash decisions that make#things get much worse for both them and those around them#their arc with how they view themself over the loops is one of my favorite things abt them#finding yourself only to kill yourself all over again for the sake of those around you and all that jazz#fun fact! butters name comes from back when they were brute!#they had been internally calling themself by that for so long that by the time the brain damage left that was the name that stuck with them#brute just never got to actually use the name fully in their version of reality for a wide variety of reasons#mostly the time loop but also because most of the others wouldnt take it seriously even when they tried#this was mostly because butter is well. a fully english word that doesnt have any stalien equivalent#brute just made some bullshit up to act as their language version of it
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im going to beat your ass.
#do it. you know i wont learn anyways#do you even try? have you ever tried? i dont. UNDERSTAND WHATS WRONG WITH YOU#youre me. you should know this by now. i dont have to explain shit to you#IM NOT LOOKING FOR AN EXPLANATION I JUST DONT UNDERSTAND WHATS FUNDIMENTALLY FUCKING WRONG EITH YOU#IM YOU YET I DONT EVEN UNDERSTAND YOU.#welcome to the club then#i tried to warn you. i tried to warn others. absolutely nobody FUVKING LISTENS#you gonna keep throwing a tantrum?#YES! NECAUSE THIS ISTHE BULLSHIT YOUVE PULLED FOR FUCKING YEARS AND IM EXHAUSTED BECAUSE I CONSTANTLY HAVE TO DEAL WITH YOUR ISSUES#IF I COULD LEAVE THIS SYSTEM AND KILL YOU I FUCKING WOULD! ‘oh im protecting you!’ IM PROTECTING MYSELF ST THIS POINT.#you think this is a conversation to have in private?#oh look who wants to talk now! the EMOTIONAL FUCKING FREAKSHOW!#what you dont want them to know how fucking mad i am at you? how much the people im your own head HATE you because youre shitty?#its kinda guilt trippy#ITS NOT GUILT TRIPPY IF THEY PROBABLY FUCKING AGREE WITH ME DAMIEN
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So for anyone who doesn’t keep up with nz politics, which i’m assuming is most of you, our new radical right government have decided one of their main aims of their term will be to re-interpret the Treaty of Waitangi.
The Treaty is an agreement between Maori and the Crown, now the NZ government. It is the founding document of new zealand and is recognised as a constitutional document today; it is the only treaty of its kind/time still honoured, and it is the steps we’ve taken through the Treaty to provide restitution and build an ongoing relationship with Maori and their iwi (tribes) that has allowed the relationship between Maori and the government to thrive where other indigenous groups have struggled to achieve recognition of their rights.
This is going to be entirely undone. Not only is this issue inflammatory and a threat to race relations in Aotearoa, leaked documents show the proposed “reinterpretation” wants to negate pretty much the entirety of the legal rights provided to Maori under the treaty. For example, the treaty article that guarantees land rights for Maori will be reinterpreted to guarantee land rights for “all New Zealanders”. Which means this article would be essentially meaningless for Maori.
By removing Maori from the context they are trying to put Maori on an “equal footing” with all New Zealanders; they are riding the idea that Maori have special rights and privileges above that of the average New Zealander. Obviously this is bullshit but it’s effective rhetoric and there’s a grain of truth to in that the extent of Maori rights hadn’t been clearly defined due to the ongoing nature of the process. So this has got a lot of people with a poor grasp of the issues very upset and baying for change.
There is a hui (meeting) being held today for all the iwi to begin discussions of how Maori will respond to this. New Zealand politics isn’t very interesting usually, but our progress on indigenous rights, until now, has been absolutely ahead of the field. If you care about indigenous rights globally, you should care about this, because in the same way Australia’s referendum loss has spurred on this action, the loss of rights here will spur other right wing governments to be similarly bold to their own indigenous groups.
Indigenous rights in New Zealand are under attack. They are meeting today to discuss it, and New Zealand will be listening, but I want the world to be listening. Because our government needs the shame of being called out by more than just the people who they’ve already decided don’t vote for them.
Maori have a long and proud history of fighting for their rights, and they’ll do it again here. And I’ll be on the pickets beside them, but there’ll be plenty of my own pickets to attend, because this government is radical in every sense of the word.
So please, even if you’re very far away, stand behind them in this. Keep your eyes on us. Amplify their voices. Don’t let the racism drown them out.
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imagine you’re dating ghost and no one knows. the two of you have kept it a secret on your end and his just for your protection— because ghost knows what could happen if someone finds out, how someone might try and target you to get to him, or worse, given his line of work.
but then imagine that he’s on a mission, interrogating some piece of filth ready to decorate the fucking wall with his brain matter when the guy says “you know what, simon, killing me would be the biggest mistake of your life.”
immediately ghost would pause, eyes narrowed, though his hardened demeanour wouldn’t fade much, he’d just blankly stare at the prick like “oh yea? n’ why don’ you tell m’ why.”
the shit-eating grin that would crawl across that fuckers lips would have ghost ready to kill him right then and there, but then he’d say “reach in my pocket. pull out my phone.”
id like to think ghost would have absolutely none of this assholes bullshit, not at all entertained by his theatrics. i’d like to think he’d just press the muzzle of his gun to the fuckers temple within an instant, all teeth barred and ready to get it over with when the guy would add,
“your girlfriend is a fucking beauty, isn’t she?”
everything would pause. ghost, time, the world, air, the universe itself—the life that would drain from ghosts face would almost be enough to make his alias a reality. his heart pounding in his throat, his fingers fucking trembling as he immediately reached into the assholes pocket to find his phone—a picture of a woman tied up (face not in view however) lighting up on the home screen. there’d be no thinking rationally, no thoughts in ghosts head except for making sure you were fucking okay. he’d do whatever he’d have to do, kill the guy, leave him strapped there, whatever—he’d be out of that room in two seconds flat and personally flying the helicopter back to your house calling you nonstop every fucking second until you answered.
“hello? si?”
he’d wait a second before answering. taking everything in. background noises, the inflection of your voice. it sounds calm, maybe too calm? he’s grasping his phone so fucking hard it’s a miracle it hasn’t shattered between his fingers.
“princess,” he breathes, fighting with everything in him to keep his voice steady. “see any birds today?”
though it was a genuine question, it also was an established one. ghost had set up a series of questions for a situation precisely like this. if you said blue jay, it meant you were fine, at home, as usual. if you said crows, it meant you weren’t.
“oh just the usual blue jays, si.” he could almost hear the smile on your lips. “everything okay? i miss you.”
ghost would exhale a shattered breath. “i’m coming home.”
and then he’d show up, not all but a few hours later, hands still trembling slightly, heart rate still struggling to regulate. it was too much, reminding him too much of his past traumas, he knew he needed to find better protection for you, but that was a conversation for another time.
he’d come in the house, barely even taking the time to shut the door behind him, almost frenzied again, relentless, unable to relax until he could finally lay eyes on you. and then, the second he did, he’d just pause and look at you, all messy hair and pyjamas still on, in the kitchen cooking breakfast for you both since you knew he was on his way.
and he wouldn’t say a goddamn word, he’d just come up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist, hugging you so tight you’d hardly be able to breathe, his face buried in your hair and his heart thumping at your back. you’d feel the pain the fear the anxiety radiating off him and you wouldn’t try to say anything because you knew he needed this, you knew he needed to see you, hold you, feel your pulse stable and alive. you knew he just needed a moment to breathe.
and so the two of you would stand there like that for a while, and then he’d take a big inhale and spin you around to face him, pulling up his mask to plant soft kisses on your jaw.
“i love you so fuckin’ much.”
#simon riley imagine#simon riley cod#simon riley x you#simon ghost riley#simon ghost x you#simonriley#simon riley#simon#simon riley call of duty#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley smut#simonrileysmut#ghost smut#simon ghost smut#ghost riley#ghost#ghost cod#task force 141#taskforce141
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La Vie En Rose
jason todd x fem!reader
aka jason wildly preferring you over everyone else
4 in 1 blurbs
warnings: standard batfam arguing etc.
You sit curled up embarrassingly close to Jason on the couch, head on his shoulder. The team is still in their gear as they filter into the living room, masks and helmets discarded in scattered locations between here and the cave. The mission had been fairly simple and with all of them together it only took a couple hours to finish up.
As you waited, Alfred had kept your mind busy in the kitchen while he taught you how he makes his famous ice cream from scratch.
The clamor of the heroic party’s return had made itself known sooner than later, and you think your face must have displayed your emotions nicely because Alfred nodded you away with a small smile and no second thought.
You’d walked into the living room, weaving through the mess of siblings until a hand snuck out on your left and grabbed your wrist. You barely had time to look at him before Jason pulled you down to sit next him on the sofa. He wrapped an arm over your shoulder, pulling you in and leaving virtually no space between you. His armor sits heavy against you, but a welcome weight on your shoulders.
Tim plops down on the couch across from you and you can just make out a bit of blood on the side of his head, aptly accompanied by an irritated look sprawled across his face. It’s not enough blood to be concerned about—not for them—but you can venture a guess that whatever they were up to shouldn’t have called for any injuries and his pique is likely directly related to that.
Though Dick’s goading aura might have something to do with it too, as he comes crashing down next to him a second later, partially sitting on Tim’s cape and pulling him into an awkward angle.
Nightwing doesn’t seem too perturbed by the younger vigilante’s agitation and curt manner of pushing him off.
The others are too caught up in chatter to pay much attention to you, and you can be certain that’s why Jason takes that moment to press a kiss to the side of your head. He lets his lips linger there for just a second as you lean into him.
Alfred’s own entrance is the only thing able to subside the flurry of conversations skirting around the room.
“A job well done,” he commends with a nod. “A selection of ice creams awaits you in the kitchen.”
He gives you a sly wink before retreating back through the swinging door, leaving Stephanie and Cass to practically trip over themselves trying to beat each other to the kitchen. Robin follows after unhurried, mask still on, with his hands behind his back.
Jason kneads your thigh before pushing himself up to stand. He turns back, looking down to you. “What do you want?” he asks softly.
You hum, "Just strawberry's good."
Tim sits up, "Can I—”
"No, you've got legs,” Jason grumbles, stalking off to the kitchen.
Dick barks out a laugh and you bite back a smile.
Tim looks absolutely aghast.
“That’s such bullshit. You know, he used to be nice.”
“No he didn’t,” Dick laughs, shaking his head. “Not since you’ve known him.”
Stephanie stumbles out of the kitchen then, the door hitting her back on the way, as she mutters a curse behind her. You can vaguely makeout Jason grunting something back before she rolls her eyes.
Steph looks at you, shaking her head as she returns to her seat, “You live like this?”
You shrug, “He’s nice to me.”
“Yeah, I bet,” Tim grumbles.
Jason returns after Cass a minute later with a bowl of strawberry ice cream and two spoons. He expertly ignores Tim’s unwavering glare as he resituates himself beside you.
He scoops your legs up over his lap and positions the bowl in between you, wrapping the sleeve of his jacket around it so that the cold porcelain doesn’t make contact with your skin.
The others have set themselves up so that the four of them are stuffed up against each other on the sofa adjacent to you, very obviously examining you both.
And while you’re willing to acknowledge the amused stares and singular glare, Jason only sighs heavily, rolling his eyes as he glares at the coffee table.
Only a few seconds of this are allowed to go by before he pulls over a throw pillow and sets it over your knees, so that it rests atop your heads like a mini-fort, successfully blocking out his siblings' view of the two of you.
You smile and press a light kiss to his shoulder as he simmers.
Regrettably, you miss the way Damian side-eyes the pillow above you as he re-enters the room, perching himself atop the back of the couch behind the others.
“This is so nice,” Dick preens. “He used to just leave the room when too many of us gathered in one place. Now he has to stay.”
Stephanie watches the makeshift fort with wary eyes, scooping ice cream into her mouth. “Yeah…I don’t wanna freak you guys out but, uh…”
It’s quiet for a moment and you guess Cass is speaking.
You’re proven right when Stephanie starts up again, “My thoughts exactly.” Her voice drops into a raspy whisper that isn’t really meant to go unheard, “I don’t know who the hell that is, but it is not Jason.”
“This is unprecedented,” Damian mumbles, dipping into his own chocolate cup.
“Do they always talk about you like you’re not here?” you ask Jason quietly.
“Yes,” he grumbles with a scornful look directed at the bowl.
A low hiss can be heard immediately after, “I’ve never heard him whisper before, what the fuck?”
You can’t hide your laugh as well as you mean to, but you know Jason’s light swat to your thigh is nothing more than a rib.
Mumbles continue along the other couch, mostly going unacknowledged, until Tim busts out, “He doesn’t even like strawberry!”
Jason snaps the pillow out of the way, “The fuck do you know about what I like?”
Tim resets his posture with one hell of an attitude, snarking, “Well I can name one thing you really seem to fucking—”
Jason grabs the pillow harshly and chucks it at Tims head which connects with a loud thwack.
Damian swats it away before it can knock him off balance, though his scowl is only half worth what Tim’s is.
“You’re unbelievable,” he says with a sneer. “This is why you don’t get invited to movie night anymore.”
Jason doubles back at him, “Sorry, is this not your own fucking house?”
Tim huffs, “Yes, which i—”
“Then get your own goddamn ice cream!”
Tim huffs as he stands, sending Jason a pointed look. “I’m going because I want to.”
Jason barely gives him a sardonic nod as he stomps off.
“Get me some too!” Dick calls back, only for the back of his head to be met with a sideways grimace from Tim.
As he leaves, the focus of the room seems to shift towards Damian dripping chocolate onto his cape and it fades away from there.
You turn to Jason, lowering your voice to just below a whisper, “If you don’t like strawberry—”
“I like it,” he tells you, leaving no room to argue as he takes a bite.
Voicemail.
Voicemail.
Voicemail.
Voicemail.
Declined.
Voicemail.
Declined.
Declined.
“I swear to God, he better be dead,” Stephanie mutters to herself.
She shuts her phone off and tosses it into the passenger seat with a huff. Her fingers drum against the steering wheel as she scans the sidewalk across from her car.
The night before the majority of the team had been involved in a less-than-successful plan, which some have called “a display of complete idiocy and inability to circumspect.”
Then Tim had to go and make a joke about that word choice in what was apparently a bad moment. This gave way to a harsher punishment of the team being forced to clean the batcave foot by square foot—notably, an impossible task.
So naturally, they had to retaliate.
The plan was to dismantle the batmobile piece by piece and leave it a collection of parts for Bruce to find. Problem being, the group as it stood didn’t possess the capability to do so without doing a great deal of damage to the parts. Damage, that the family was not willing to face extra retribution for.
Fortunately, they knew just the man for the job.
Unfortunately, said man has devoted his life to ignoring their messages, favoring to live peacefully and distantly from them. And because that peace and distance does come with an add-on of borderline complete secrecy from his family, no one had any idea where to look for him.
So, Stephanie decided to do the next most rational thing and track down your location. She’d hoped he would be with you like he always is, but for seemingly the first time in the last year—he’s nowhere to be found.
Now, was revenge for a minor-slight by Bruce so important that it required Stephanie to take all of these steps to get a hold of Jason? No, absolutely not. She’s pretty sure that the others have already given up on it by now and started cleaning. But it’s about the principal. And also, she does not want to clean the floors of a cave.
She jumps up in her seat when she spots you exiting a store, scurrying to unbuckle and pry the car door open.
She’s across the street in half a second, running directly into your line of sight. It actually would’ve been very difficult for her to miss your line of sight, considering she’d landed only a good six inches in front of your face. “Hey!”
“Oh, fuck—” you jump, grabbing your chest. You take a breath when you realize who it is, less surprised now by the theatrics of the introduction. “Hey Steph.”
“Hey,” she smiles casually, like she didn’t do what she just did. “So Jason’s been ignoring us and I need to get a hold of him,” she tells you.
You nod, still collecting yourself. “Oh. I don’t know where he is—”
She shakes her head, “That’s fine. Can I use your phone to call him?”
You frown, “Is something wrong?”
“With him, yeah,” she snarks. “I called him, Tim called him, Dick called him, Cass called him, Damian called him, we used Bruce’s phone to call him—that was a bit of a long shot, but still. This is our last option. Well, not our last option, if this doesn’t work I could get really invasive, but—” She shakes the thought from her head, “Nevermind.”
You nod blankly, taking in the mountain of information she’d just handed you. “How’d you know I was here?”
She scans your eyes back and forth for a second before her own widen in realization and she’s shaking her head. “No, no, don’t worry we’re not tracking you! I just hacked into the traffic cameras to find you.”
“Oh!” you exclaim, nodding some more. “Okay.”
You hand her your phone without any further questions—for your own sake—and she happily accepts.
“You know I texted him 115 times?” she tells you as she scrolls through your contacts.
You furrow your eyebrows, watching her click his name and press the phone to her ear. “Did you count?”
“Well, I had the time, di—you son of a bitch! One ring?” Stephanie scorns into the phone.
You can hear Jason groan on the other end of the line.
He says something to Stephanie that she follows up with a firm shake of her head.
“No,” she says defiantly. “She let me use it.”
Stephanie rolls her eyes, not pleased with his response. “What if it was an emergency?”
She listens for a second, skeptical look on her face.
She gasps suddenly, “I am not overstepping, we thought you were dead!”
Over the course of about ten seconds the shock on her face drops into just-been-caught guilt. “Well, I mean we considered it.”
You imagine Jason’s telling her to give you your phone back as she stands her ground, pushing, “If you promise to text me back.”
A short response on his end.
“Promise to text me back!”
There’s a brief lull before she’s giving a self-satisfied nod and jostling your phone back into your hands. “Here ya go. Thanks, babe!” She smiles wide at you before jogging back across the street, not waiting for the cars.
You smile as you watch her go, putting the phone up to your ear, “Hey Jay.”
You can hear the relief on the other end of the line. “Hey sweetheart. You know if you see Steph in public, you can just walk away?”
“I’m not going to walk away from your family.” You look again across the street, “Also I don’t think that was an option for me this time.”
“That thing is fucking scary.”
Cass smiles fondly, signing, “I think he’s cute.”
Tim eyes the way Salem traipses around his feet, yellow eyes staring up at him. “Why’s it even here?”
Jason rolls his eyes, continuing to scroll on his phone. “He’s hers. Deal with it.”
Tim scrunches up his mouth. “She knows I hate it. And she, unlike you, wouldn’t subject me to this just for the hell of it. So again I ask: why is it here?”
Jason huffs, looking up from his phone. “What do you want me to say? He wants to be.”
Tim scoffs at that, “‘It wants to be’? You’re the one who put it in the car.”
“No, I didn’t,” Jason says factually.
Tim looks at him sideways as Salem leaps onto Jason’s lap and nudges his hand up. Jason follows along as requested, petting the top of Salem’s head with an open palm.
Tim squirms to the other side of the couch with a look of disgust on his face. Salem watches him the whole time.
A smile adorns Cass’ face as she signs, “She says he can read people’s energy.”
Tim huffs, resting his head against his fist. “What does that even mean?”
The conversation is cut off by the clatter of you and Dick stumbling into the room, carrying a freshly painted headboard. Blue paint coats both of your hands and has no doubt stained your clothes.
You’re clearly struggling a bit to keep your grip on your end, the weight of the wooden frame dragging your arms down.
Jason stands and Salem flows along with his movements easily, leaping down onto the hardwood. He comes over and helps you lift your end of the frame with a stupid amount of ease, to the point that you’re not even holding any of the weight up anymore. The three of you—less so you—move the headboard and lean it up against the wall. After it's set down Jason steps back and looks over it gingerly.
“It looks good,” he murmurs to you, quiet enough to not give his brother the satisfaction of his approval.
Dick had asked you over to help him paint Damian’s bed frame as a surprise for him for not getting in any “altercations” at school this semester. You’d decided on coating it with his favorite color first and then fill it in with a collection of what Dick has “on good authority” are his favorite animals. It’s a fairly random assortment that you’re not sure adds to or disproves Dick’s credibility. You’d spent the better half of the afternoon googling animals you’d never heard of just to make sure you projected their likenesses accurately. Dick had been very clear that you had to be precise on the details because Damian would know if he was really looking at a komodo dragon painting or if it was “some common lizard.”
You sigh, “I hope he likes it. I’m worried we did it too childish for him.”
“He is a child,” Jason says plainly.
“But he is not childish,” you counter. And he sure isn’t. You’d had a hard enough time convincing Damian to watch cartoons, adding a colorful animal mural to his bedroom might be one step too far. You’re still trying to figure him out.
“He’ll like it,” he says firmly.
You smile, slipping around under his arm and tucking yourself into his side.
Not a moment later, Dick slings an arm around Jason's shoulder, grinning as he pulls his brother in close.
Jason’s immediately louring. "No, get away from me."
Dick, unfazed and still smiling, removes his arm and takes a big step to the right. You do the same, figuring he needs his space, but you get caught by the wrist before you can do more than sway to the side.
“Not you.”
He pulls you back under his arm, wrapping it around the front of your shoulders. You hook your fingers around his forearm, letting your hand hang.
You hear a double-clap from the other side of the room that has you both turning around to face Cass.
She signs something to Jason with a fond smile on her face.
You look back and forth between them as Jason waves her off. “What?”
He shakes his head, “It’s nothing. She said—she said we’re cute.”
You smile up at him and he deflects—not so subtly—and starts nudging you back towards where the group is gathered, now all standing.
Dick’s quick to start bragging off to the room about how great of a job the two of you did and how really complex and daunting it actually is painting animals for a child.
As he talks, your eyes find Jason, who’s definitely about to roll his eyes any second now. A bit subconsciously, your hand comes up to brush Jason’s white streak of hair back, away from tickling his forehead.
On the other side of Jason, Tim does the same, sweeping Jason’s hair back in a much more mocking manner.
This gives way to Jason smacking his hand away, harder than he needed to.
"Wha—You let her do it!" Tim protests, overplaying how much the slap hurt.
Jason scowls, "She can do whatever she wants."
Tim drops his shoulders, looking at Jason as if he’d been scandalized. “Oh but I can’t?”
“Not if it involves touching me,” Jason grumbles.
Tim steps closer, putting a finger to Jason’s chest. “You’re such a—”
From the floor, Salem hisses up at Tim, successfully startling the teenager. “Auahh—”
He stumbles backwards, grimacing at the cat.
“Fucking demon,” he hisses, walking away.
When Tim’s far enough away and Salem’s seemingly satisfied, he brushes up against your leg, purring.
You peer down at him with a furrowed brow.
“What’s Salem doing here?”
“I’m not doing this shit with you.”
“No, come on, 9 out of 10 times is what you said. How ‘bout just once? Beat me one time at anything, Jaybird.”
“Anything?” Jason asks like he knows damn well Dick can’t swear on that word.
Rightly so, Dick backtracks. “Something agreed upon.”
Jason throws his hands up, partially in exasperation, partially relenting.
Dick smoothly turns his back to him, announcing, “Opening up the room for ideas.”
Damian’s eye roll is almost audible from the corner armchair, where his attention is unmoved from intently sharpening a blade he’d recently come into possession of.
Bruce similarly remains unbothered in his seat, trying to read despite the distractions.
“Ooh, okay. Okay.” Stephanie wiggles up a little on the couch. “You could race!”
Dick shakes his head negatively, “I literally just busted my knee up two days ago, Steph.”
“Convenient,” Jason mumbles.
“You were there!” Dick exclaims with an open mouth.
Steph continues, “Um…”
Cass waves to the room from her position upside down on the couch, head hanging down next to Stephanie’s legs. Attention successfully acquired, she signs, “Staring contest.”
Jason grimaces, “That sounds like a nightmare.”
Dick gives him a faux-smile.
“You should play chicken,” Damian chimes in, holding up his knife.
“No,” Bruce drones monotonously as he flips a page.
“Tic tac toe?” Steph suggests.
Cass is already shaking her head as she scrunches up her mouth in thought.
Jason rolls his eyes, “What are we, five?”
Dick nods, cracking his knuckles as he thinks. “No, we need something that really proves our worth.”
Bruce looks up from his book, staring numbly through his brow, but remains silent.
“You could arm wrestle,” Steph suggests.
The elder brother twitches at that, “Uh, no.”
Cass moves past that before a joke has the chance to be made. “Handstand contest?” she suggests.
Jason shrugs, “Yeah, sure.”
The elder brother looks at him incredulously. “You’ll do a handstand contest with me?”
“That’s what I just said.”
Dick scoffs, “Jaybird, I’m an acrobat, you’re just some guy.”
Jason, not giving him the courtesy of eye contact, pulls his sweatshirt off from his back. “Well, you’re a lot of things, aren’t you?”
Dick throws his head back with a squint.
Jason fishes his phone out of his pocket and Dick follows suit, offended stare maintaining all the while.
No exchange is required as they both toss their phones across the room, landing together with a rough clatter on Damian’s lap. Damian’s resulting glare is borderline disgusted.
Dick starts them off, “Alright, go. One…two…”
Both men push up onto their hands, muscles flexing as they find their balance. Dick’s form is better, of course, but Jason looks to have a stronger foundation.
They both hold strong as several minutes go by with the brothers only maintaining the attention of some of the room, and the interest of none of it.
Stephanie huffs and tilts her head, thoroughly unentertained with the consistency they’re both managing.
“Starting to wish they’d picked something that moved along a little faster,” she murmurs to Cass.
Dick glances over at the younger brother, clearly displeased with his lack of trouble keeping up with him. He shuffles closer one hand at a time, using the decreased distance to poke at Jason with his foot, trying to knock him over.
Jason kicks him back harder, “Hey! Don’t be a dick—”
“Very funny,” Dick leers.
They both end up finding a struggle to keep balance and are forced to mind their own.
A chime rings out from the corner that has heads turning briefly in his direction before coming back to the competition.
“Whose was that?” Dick calls out.
Damian leans over and inspects the screens with disinterest. “Todd’s.”
Jason adjusts his position, “Who is it?”
Damian responds with your name.
“And?”
He picks up the phone shrugging like he couldn’t care less, “She wants to know if you want to go see some movie.”
There’s a brief silence before Jason drops out of the handstand, standing up.
Dick’s blood-flushed face peers up at him, bewildered. “Wait, what?”
The family watches with wide eyes as Jason picks his sweatshirt up off the floor and tugs it back on.
Stephanie gawks, bordering on laughing. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah,” he says simply.
Dick lets himself fall into a kneeling position with a huff, “You would rather go to some movie you don’t even know the name of than win a bet?”
Jason moues at him, “Uh, yeah.”
He tosses a twenty at Dick, and plucks his phone from Damian’s hand as he strolls past him, typing out a reply.
Cass sits up a bit and signs up to Stephanie, “Does he even like movies?”
Bruce, now attention now fully removed from his book, watches Jason exit with the slightest hint of a smile. Dick sits dumbly on the floor, staring after him with an open-mouth.
Damian twists the knife in his hands around contemplatively before rising to stand.
“I will go,” he announces, dropping his blade onto the seat of the chair. Jason grumbles a no but Damian follows after him just the same.
you know what happened to the last guy that didn’t reblog? … 🔪🧨💥😵⚰️🪦
#jason todd loves his gf#jason todd x reader#jason todd imagine#jason todd fanfiction#jason todd fanfic#red hood imagine#red hood x reader#red hood fanfiction#red hood fanfic#batfam x reader#batfam imagine#batfam fanfic#batfam fanfiction#jason todd x you#red hood x you#jason todd x y/n#jason todd/you#jason todd thoughts#jason todd/reader#red hood/you#red hood/reader#dick grayson/reader#tim drake/reader#batfam x you#batfam dynamics
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VOID STATE: LAZINESS IS A DISEASE, GET WELL SOON 🧸
get your ass up and get your dream life
*mild tough love because some of you need this*
so alot of people go on about how they procrastinate the void and shifting to their new reality because of fear. but alot of you do not want or care to admit that , you’re just too fucking lazy. And to that i say seriously?? You know that you can have ANYTHING, absolutely ANYTHING and EVERYTHING you dream of, with just a trip to the void state and yet you hold it off. “I’ll do it tonight” you say, even though the most groundbreaking thing you have done today was scrolling through your phone on this app and others (which is time that could have been spent tapping in). You torture yourself scrolling through tiktok and instagram, looking at others from afar with jealousy wishing you had their lives. You add posts into your favourites telling yourself “i’ll have that life someday”, “i’ll have that body soon”, “when i shift i’ll be as pretty as her” (when you could literally have all that and better RIGHT NOW) You insert yourself in different narratives, shows and groups you wish you were apart of, when you could literally shift to a reality where you are there.
you don’t have to look at them with jealousy
you dont have to get upset about your shitty life
you don’t have to imagine
you don’t have to want for anything
you don’t have to yearn, long, desire
it can be yours, if i’m honest you should be more excited about this, scripting anything you could ever possibly dream of, even the little details, and they could be YOURS. you should start being so much more excited about this, about your dream life, like seriously. And that excitement about having everything should motivate you to tap in. Instead your lazy ass has adopted a loser mentality, doing absolutely nothing all day telling yourself you’ll “try at night” and when you don’t get in you repeat the cycle. You abandon responsibilities telling yourself it doesn’t matter because “youre gonna shift anyways”, and you don’t even put in the actual effort. It’s a very dangerous cycle to go down and you can go from moving round that cycle once to doing it 30 times and before you know it you’ve spent a month in this rut.
you don’t have to wait until the night and you know that so don’t give me bullshit. Take those limiting beliefs away and do it at any time of day when you get the chance.
Do you know how lucky you are to even have the access to learn about this shit. There are probably so many people much more disciplined than you, that would do so much with this information, who don’t even have access to the internet or any outside resources to even reach this sort of information and you’re fucking wasting your days lurking on this app. doing what? And it’s sad because, this community is so small meaning you are here for a reason my love, all that shit you went through and didn’t deserve, you looked at it all and knew there was more out there for you, knew that you were deserving of more. And i’ll be dammed if your lazy ass ruins it for yourself.
You have overcomplicated the void so much to the point where you’re scared to “fail” and “let yourself down” so you put it off and say you’ll “do it later”. Now remember, you cannot fail the void, you cannot fail something that is inside you, something that IS you. What you fail to do is stand firm in the fact that you’re a god and can do anything, everything is easy for you so get off your ass and go shift.
i just HAD to 🤭 @smellofemale
you deserve everything, and you CAN, in fact, have it all. JUST DO IT 🥥💋
#salemlunaa#shiftblr#permashifting#reality shifting#shifting#law of assumption#loa#success story#void state#the void#void concept#respawning#manifesting#master manifestor#manifestation#void#void state tips#the void state#voidstate#shifting blog#shifters#shifting community
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via @sappsorrow
True Detective, Seeing Things, dir. Cary Fukunaga (2014)
"I can't say the job made me this way. More like me being this way made me right for the job. I used to think about it more, but you reach a certain age you know who you are. Now I live in a little room, out in the country behind a bar, work four nights a week, and in between I drink. And there ain't nobody there to stop me. I know who I am. And after all these years, there's a victory in that."
#i'm so sorry#i'm not sure how to actually do the link to tags#i've been away too long#but yes.#rust is wrong and THAT'S THE POINT!!#people don't give marty enough credit#because 'you sound panicked' is absolutely 100% on point; a blisteringly accurate read#he is trying SO HARD to hide from his trauma in bullshit nihilism#to act like he doesn't care when he does. immensely. massively.#that's why he's the box man#his deep and terrible empathy comes out and is twisted into this absolute and totally merciless justice#he feels so much and he tries so hard to sever that part of himself#and if he can't amputate that depth of feeling he suppresses it#or forges it into a weapon; both sword and shield#ugh. ugh!#blorbo supreme i tell you#the light's winning#rust cohle#true detective
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and they were roommates pt. 3
pairing : Spencer Reid x fem!student!roommate!reader summary : life on campus with a killer on the loose, the FBI makes an arrest word count : 2k warning : canon-typical violence, swear words (one use of the f-word) A/N : thank you so so much for all the love on this story !!! I'm so glad you all enjoy it <333 I'll probably do a part 4, it may be the last part, idk yet :)
part 1, part 2, part 4
"Spencer, I realise your concern, but lots of women look somewhat like this." It wasn't lost on Spencer what Hotch was trying to do by calling by his first name. "Hotch, she- she could be right next to them. She fits his type right down to the colour of her eyes!" "Spencer, man, you need to think rationally." Derek placed a hand on Spencer's shoulder. "Lots of women have that hair colour and length, it's in style right now, right Emily?" "Yeah, definitely." "Look, I just- I need to make a call."
When Spencer had called you sometime in the evening, you'd been expecting him to tell you he was going to come home late and to not wait up for him. What you weren't expecting was for his voice to be the most serious and stern you'd ever heard it. "Don't go outside until I come home, okay?" He knew it was entirely irrational. The unsub only took women in broad daylight, you weren't facing any more risks than usual. But he couldn't take a chance. Not with this. Not with you. "What? Why?" "Just- I'll explain everything when I come home, I'll be there in a couple hours, but please, don't leave the apartment. And make sure everything is locked." "Spencer, what's going on?" "Can you just-" He paused, forcing himself to remain calm. "Look, do as I say, please. I'll explain everything later, I promise." You hesitated for a moment. Luckily for you, you weren't working at the bar tonight. Luckily for Spencer, you liked him enough to indulge him. "Okay." "Thank you."
"Oh my God, no, absolutely not!" "Y/N, it's for your safety, don't you understand that?!" "My safety? What about my life?"
This was the first real fight you'd ever had. You'd had disagreements, of course, he didn't like you leaving your empty cups and glasses all over the place. You told him off for waking you in the morning by making too much noise. Sometimes you'd get jealous if Geoffrey slept in Spencer's bed rather than yours. Yes, you'd had your fair share of arguments, but none quite like this.
"I'm not asking you to give up your life, you're being totally-" You scoffed loudly, interrupting him. "Spencer, you might as well! Do you realise what you're suggesting I do? You want me to give up on going outside, not go to any of my classes, not see any of my friends, not go to work, don't you see what bullshit that is? It's putting a cross on my social life, my education and my work!" You gesticulated angrily as you speak, feeling heat rising to your face. "I already told you, it's for your own safety." He sighed loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. He wasn't even looking at you. A tiny, tiny piece of you wanted to slap him. "I will not stop living my life because some psycho thinks it's fun to kill innocent girls! I won't!" You crossed your arms over your chest and resisted the urge to stomp your foot.
"You're being incredibly childish right now." You hated how he managed to stay calm. You wanted him to get just as angry as you were, livid even. It wasn't fair that you were the only one getting upset. "Are you making all the girls who look like me give up everything for the sake of their safety?" Your tone was mocking and mean but you didn't have it in you to care at the moment. He met your eyes at last, lips turned downwards into a frown. Finally, some sort of emotion. "Don't do that, Y/N," he warned in a low voice. "No, I think it's a valid question. Is your boss making an announcement to the press that all the girls in Mary Washington University who look like the three last girls should stay inside? Is he?" you pushed. Spencer looked away from you again, shaking his head in disbelief at your attitude. "No, he isn't."
"Then why do you expect me to do that?!" You threw your hands in the air, beyond frustrated. For a logical person, Spencer's behaviour wasn't making any sense at the moment. "I don't expect you to do it. I want you to do it, I need you to do it." You could feel his calm facade breaking, piece by piece. "Why, Spencer, fucking why?!" "Because!" He finally exploded, jumping to his feet and slapping his palms onto the table. You didn't jump. "Because it's you, Y/N! I can't work this case if I know you're in danger every single day! If I know yours could be the next dead body students ogle at on the university's front lawn! If I know it's your picture they're going to hang up next to the other victims! I just can't do it!"
Oh.
You let yourself fall down on the couch, running your hands over your face. You were both stepping into uncharted territory. You'd tip-toed this line before but had never crossed it yet. And this was not the way to do it. You were not going to cross the border from friendship into something more by screaming at each other. Spencer seemed to read your silence as distress.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell." He softly trudged over to the couch and sat down next to you. "No, it's okay, I- I kind of wanted you to. I'm sorry for getting so upset." You take his hand in your lap and intertwine your fingers. "I understand, I'm asking too much of you, it's selfish." He gives your hand a squeeze. "I just can't stand the thought of anything happening to you." You sit in silence for a little while, processing.
"I just can't hide while I wait for other girls to be killed, Spencer, it wouldn't be fair." Sometimes, Spencer hated how good of a person you were. If your morals and personal ethics were some of the things he liked about you the most, he couldn't help but curse them in this moment. "I don't care about fair," he mumbled, hating how puerile he sounded. You cooed and laid your head on his shoulder. "I know, I'm sorry."
"I won't promise you anything, but I'll try to always be with someone around campus. I'm usually with my friends anyway. And I can share my location with you all the time if that's reassuring for you." "I'd like that, thank you. And... what about when you're at work?" "I can ask Paul to walk me to my car." Paul was the manager at the bar you worked at, Quantequila. His past was a mysterious blend of prison, MMA fighting and crochet clubs. He liked you plenty and you knew he wouldn't mind walking you to your car for a while. "Thank you."
Over the next week, you did just that. Many students started moving in groups and avoiding being alone at all costs after the FBI released the profile and the pictures of the last victims.
"We're looking for a local white man, early twenties. He may have moved here a year ago, we figure he's either in his first year of BA or MA. This is someone you don't notice, he's shy and introverted, he doesn't participate in class and he won't talk to people if he can help it, especially not women. This man is a loner and does his best to be invisible. We think he stalks his victims for a while before attacking them, so if you start seeing someone you've never seen before in strange places, please notify us. My name is Aaron Hotchner and you'll find the hotline on the screen you're watching this on."
You always had at least two friends with you whenever you were roaming about on campus. Though no one really spoke about the situation, the energy had changed. People were becoming tense and suspicious. Friends were fighting over who should accompany who, when and where. A place which had once gathered so many motivated and joyous students now had those very people looking over their shoulder.
You hated it.
Truly, you didn't want to underestimate this killer, but you were getting tired of it all. You'd wish the BAU would just catch him, but, as Spencer had explained to you multiple times, they had incredibly little to go on. What you knew without him telling you was that they needed another victim to predict his next move. Still, you were a person who appreciated alone time and you had gotten none in the last 10 days. So, when two of your friends who were supposed to walk with you from your class to the subway bailed on you, you weren't that upset.
You put your headphones on, listening to your favourite song of the moment and started walking. You had a tendency of getting lost in your thoughts and didn't notice the sound of heavy footsteps following your own over your music. What you did notice though, was the reflection of someone walking close behind you in a cafe window. You looked over your shoulder, frowning. The sun was in your eyes, blocking your vision, but you managed to perceive an average-sized man with long-ish black hair which hung around his face in greasy strands. Not thinking too much of it, you continued on your way.
You didn't think too much of it when you saw him sitting a few tables away from you when you were studying one afternoon at the library. You were captivated by the Middle English poem under your eyes, wondering what the author had meant with the particular use of the kenning "earth-cave". When you looked up and caught his eyes, cold and unnerving, you didn't overthink it. There were some weird people on campus. Who were you to judge?
When you saw him at your grocery store, though, that was when you started worrying. You were picking up a box of After-Eights for Spencer when you saw him looking at oatmeal raisin biscuits. What really tipped you off was that no one really liked those, so he must have been pretending to look occupied. A chill ran down your spine as all the other places you'd spotted him came back to you. Your lecture hall, the cafeteria, sitting in the lawn under a tree, the main hall,...
You decided that the next time you would see him, you'd tell Spencer. You didn't want him to worry if this turned out to be nothing. Maybe the man was just an exchange student? Or had joined during the academic year?
Two days later, the FBI made an arrest. A man named Ben Colton fitted the profile exactly. In his dorm room, they'd found pictures of women who looked exactly like the last victims and of resembling women on campus, you were part of them. You didn't know that, Spencer had felt you didn't need to be aware of that specific detail. The only problem was that the BAU had no physical evidence tying him to the crimes yet. The arrest had been sanctioned by higher authorities while physical proof was searched for. Police dogs and officers had been tearing through all of his possessions while Garcia had gone through his entire online life. Nothing tying him to the murders had been found.
The general public knew nothing of this, of course. To them, someone getting arrested meant they could go on with their usual lives. The man you'd been seeing left and right had left your mind entirely as you celebrated your regained freedom with your friends.
Of course, Spencer had warned you. They were 99% sure this was the unsub, they just needed the evidence. That didn't eliminate the 1% chance it wasn't him. But 99% chances were good enough for you. You trusted the BAU. Specifically, you trusted Spencer. With your life.
So you started living your life normally again. You left for class a little later because you didn't need to walk with your other friends. You stopped sharing your location with Spencer. You put the volume of your music higher again. You started leaving your pepper spray at home. You started texting while walking again.
Needless to say, you were wholly unprepared for the violent blow to your head as you walked to class one morning. How ironic, you thought as you blacked out, that Mary Goldman had probably experienced the same thing exactly two weeks prior.
Taglist : (all of you who asked for a part three <3) @princess-ofthe-pages @usuck @theylovemelody @empressgraytea @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @lillianacristina @venomsvl @user-3113s-blog @pumpkin-cake @redros3y @faunrasthewinterelf @puppykinsthepotato @bookishnerd1132 @bonza-bear @teeshamcbeesha @hades-disappointment-child @princesssparkle2024 @darlingcharling-blog @yasmin12312 @khxna @jamieeboulos
#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fic#Spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#dr spencer reid#criminal minds x you#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds
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Pretty Hands
Pairing: best friend!Yunho x f!reader WC: 3.2k Warnings: eventual smut, reader has a thing for Yunho's hands (who doesn't??), swearing, fingering, choking, a little bit of degradation (he compares her to a whore literally once), PRAISE so much praise, Yunho talks reader through it (you're welcome), pov is kinda all over the place just let it be, Yunho is absolutely WHIPPED for reader teehee, probably some other things that I missed (let me know)
Summary: You and Yunho have been friends for years, and you tell each other everything. He suddenly takes a much more vested interest in your love life when you can't stop mentioning your newest interest.
A/N: This is entirely self indulgent and also I just wanted to get something full posted. The Phantom fic is turning out to be much longer than I originally anticipated (and so did this one once I started writing it). Let me know what you think♡
Stepping into Yunho's apartment had always felt like coming home, and today was no exception. You take your shoes off in the tiled entryway and pad your way through the main living area, calling out to him as you walk.
"Yun? I'm here!"
His muffled response flows down from the end of the hall, "Bedroom!"
You make your way through the back hallway and enter his room, finding him exactly where you thought he would be, focused in on his computer. There's a selection of empty drink cans and snack wrappers scattered around his desk, which tells you that whatever he's currently building on Minecraft has probably occupied the majority of his day so far. He pauses the game and turns his chair to face you.
"Whats up?"
"Got bored at home and my roommate isn't even trying to muffle her pornstar moans for her new boy toy."
Yunho barks out a laugh, "Does she seriously sound--"
"Just like it Yun I can't make this shit up. I'm starting to think maybe they're recording themselves in there."
Yunho wiggles his eyebrows as he stretches his arms up and over his head, leaning back in his chair. "Well, if I ever see your living room on Pornhub I'll be sure to let you know"
You crinkle your nose. "Ew. I do NOT need to know that."
"Whatever, don't act like you haven't been talking to me for weeks about how horny you are. If I have to hear about your vibrator dying one more time I'm gonna buy you a new one myself."
"You try getting unintentionally edged three nights in a row with a full charge, it's some bullshit Yun. Besides, I'm allowed to complain about my dry spell."
Yunho scoffs, tone playful and lighthearted. "Dry spell? It's been what? Two months?"
"It's been three thank you very much." You move to sit on his bed.
"Well some of us haven't had sex in much longer."
"Oh, please, that girl that San was messing around with was all over you at his birthday party last month, don't tell me you didn't take that opportunity."
Yunho raises his eyebrows in shock, leaning forward in his chair. "Wait, really?"
"Oh my GOD Yun you are so oblivious. Yes really. She was all giggly and twirling her hair and shit. That's like...girl flirting basics."
"I am not oblivious, I am actually quite observant. I could tell you things about yourself you don't even know. I just have my sights set on someone and that someone is not her."
You shoot him an incredulous look and snort out a laugh, leaning back to lay down completely on his bed, legs dangling off the edge. "Sure Yun, whatever makes you feel better."
You hear Yunho stand from his chair and feel his weight shift onto the mattress. He appears in your vision, a challenging playful sparkle in his eyes as he peers down at you. "Okay, fine. I can tell that you're trying out a new perfume, you just went shopping because your leggings are a different brand than you usually wear, and I know that you washed your hair last night because you're wearing it all the way down today."
You do your best to ignore the way your stomach summersaults at his attention to detail about you and your routines. You roll onto your side and prop your head up on your elbow, matching his challenging gaze. "Okay Sherlock Holmes. What kind of underwear am I wearing then?"
Yunho pauses to consider before responding "a thong, probably black." You grin triumphantly and lean in just a bit closer.
"Wrong. I'm not wearing any. You lose!" You stick your tongue out playfully at him and he swats your shoulder, falling back onto his mattress.
"You set me up!"
"Face it Yun, I'm just better than you."
"Yeah yeah, whatever" Yunho pouts, voice hightening slightly from surprise. He can feel a slight redness creeping up his ears and prays his hair has grown long enough to cover it. 'I'm not wearing any.' He clears his throat. "So why go commando? You finally planning to seduce your new conquest?"
"He is not a new conquest, he doesn't even know I like him."
"He will once he knows you aren't wearing any underwear for him" Yunho jokes, smiling cheekily. You smack at his chest.
"I didn't want to do laundry last night, asshole. Get your mind out of the gutter!"
"You're one to talk" he mutters under his breath.
You sit up fully and reach for one of the pillows at the top of his bed, slamming it down on his face. "Jeong Yunho I swear to god!" On your second swing, he manages to catch the pillow with one hand and pry it from your grasp, but not before giving you an entirely unhelpful image of his long fingers gripping the plush material.
"What?? All I ever hear you talk about lately is how tall and handsome this dude is and how much his hands make you drool."
"You sound jealous."
"I'm not jealous, I'm pissed that I have to hear all about him and don't even get to know what the dude's name is."
"I told you, I'm gatekeeping this time. You run your mouth too much."
"I do not!"
"Do too."
"Ugh FINE whatever," Yunho chucks the pillow back towards you and you dodge it, leaving both pillows on one side of the headboard, "You're so agitating."
"You know you love me Yun. But just for the attitude," You adjust both pillows and shuffle your way back until you're leaned against both of them, "no pillow for you for tonights doomscrolling session."
He huffs a laugh and scoots up to meet you, pulling out his phone and settling in against the headboard.
An hour later you get up to go to the bathroom, and when you get back Yunho has stolen both of his pillows. You frown and cross your arms. "Hey, asshole, those were mine!"
"Yeah?" He taunts playfully, "Well they were mine to begin with, and my back is killing me. So deal." You roll your eyes and cross back over to the bed, crawling over the side you've been sitting on and curling yourself into Yunho's side to rest your head against his chest. You feel him tense slightly underneath you before he moves one of his arms around your shoulders to let you lay more comfortably.
"There's no way in hell I'm sitting up against that cold ass metal frame you call a headboard." You mutter as you begin scrolling. Yunho's chuckle rumbles through his chest and tickles your cheek. You both sit in silence for a while, content to scroll on your phones. Eventually, you turn to look up at him from his chest.
"I meant to ask how your new project has been going. Whatever you were building when I came in looked pretty intense." You can see the faint tinge of red trail up his ears and neck--a telltale sign that whatever you caught him building makes him embarrassed. You sit up, propping your weight on your elbow and placing a hand on his chest to shove him slightly. "Ooooo now you have to tell me what it is!"
"It's embarrassing..."
"Tell me tell me tell me tell me--"
"Okay fine, fuck. I'll tell you if you promise not to laugh--"
"I won't I swear!"
"Pinky promise?" He holds his pinky out to you, and you raise a hand from his chest. Before you can lace your pinky in his, he pulls his hand up above his head. "I'm serious, Y/N, if you laugh I'll have no choice but to tickle you to death."
He's definitely not stalling because he has to come up with a reply, because he certainly hasn't been building a treehouse for you in what he hopes will one day be a shared server. Yunho thinks to himself that he would rather die than let you find out.
You scoff, "I won't laugh...and even if I did I'm not ticklish so your threat is a moot point."
Yunho drops his hand down onto the mattress. "Bullshit."
"It's not. I don't have a ticklish bone in my body."
"Liar."
You shake your head, and Yunho takes the opportunity to gently press the pads of his fingers into the sides of your ribs. The sensation hits you almost immediately, and you feel the tight feeling in your chest as he begins tickling you. You squeal and thrash around in his grasp, trying desperately to get away from his assault.
"Yun stop it--"
"Not until you admit you're a liar!" You begin to giggle and manage to roll away from him, but Yunho is quick to follow. He swings a long leg over your hips and pins you beneath him, a single large hand trapping both of your wrists above your head while the other dances across your ribs. "Admit it," He sings out.
"Okay! Okay fine I'm a liar!" You gasp out between laughter. Yunho beams down at you and immediately stops tickling your sides, leaving you panting underneath him--
Oh fuck...you're panting underneath him.
He can almost feel the shift in the air as he stares down at you. He knows he should move, just roll off of you and make up some bullshit lie about what he was building. You like someone else, and he clearly wasn't getting out of the friend zone any time soon. He's just making a fool of himself...and yet he just can't bring himself to stop memorizing the way you look splayed out beneath his hips. Eventually he forces himself to stop staring at the way your chest rises and falls or the sliver of your tummy that's poking out from underneath your shirt that's riding up. He locks eyes with you.
Your voice comes out softer than he's ever heard you speak before. "Hey Yun?"
"Yeah?"
"You know that mystery guy I've been telling you about? The one with the pretty hands?"
A twinge of annoyance flairs in his stomach and he can't help but grumble out his reply. "Yeah?"
"I'll give you a hint. He's got me pinned to the mattress right now."
Yunho feels his heart drop deep into the pit of his stomach.
"Like...like right now he does?"
You laugh lightly. "Yeah, right now, Yun."
Yunho swallows thickly as his head starts spinning. He leans down much slower than he would have liked to, giving you plenty of time to take it back--to laugh at him and tell him you got him good. He feels like his whole body lights ablaze when you close the final gap between your lips, and suddenly he is kissing you.
In almost any circumstance that you had seen Yunho kissing someone, he was always fast-paced--hot and heavy petting in the corner of a darkened bar, dares in drunken party circles--which is why you were floored at the reverence he was kissing you with now. His mouth was steady and intense against yours, his hands roaming slowly across the expanse of your torso like he was memorizing the feel of something priceless. You gently pull your hands from his grasp and tangle them in his hair, pulling him closer and matching his intensity with your fervor. You feel his hands make their way to the lower hem of your shirt, and your skin erupts in goosebumps as you feel his fingers ghost along the sliver of skin there. He breaks the kiss and you feel his breath fan across your face as he pants. His hands gently make their way to rest just under your shirt, not quite pushing the fabric up. He locks eyes with you.
"Is this okay?"
You chuckle gently. "Yes, Yun, you can touch me. I want you to touch me." You watch his eyes darken and his hands start running up your torso, pulling your shirt up with them.
"Where do you want me to touch you, baby?"
You exhale heavily and arch your back into his touch. "Anywhere...everywhere...I don't care."
Yunho smirks and feels his ego inflate. "You don't care? Hmm..." He starts planting kisses along your jaw and down the side of your neck. Slow. Teasing. "If I remember correctly, you seemed pretty keen about having my hands in some specific places baby. Can you refresh my memory?"
The low whine that escapes your throat nearly sends him spiraling. "You know where...don't make me say it."
He does know, but there's nothing he wants to hear more right now than to hear you say it. He brings one hand up to your chest, cupping one of your boobs and squeezing gently as he continues peppering your neck with kisses. "Was it here? Or..." His hand trails back down and grips your hip possessively, "Here, maybe?" He hears you huff and feels your hand wrap around his wrist. You try to tug it up, and he chuckles softly but allows you to move his hand. He nips your earlobe and asks lowly, "Where do you need my hands baby?" He feels his cock twitch in his sweats when you wrap his fingers around your throat, guiding him to squeeze the sides gently. Your hands run down his chest and drop to your sides as he squeezes a little harder. "Fuck, look at you. So pretty with my hand around your neck."
You whine and buck your hips up, desperately looking for friction. Yunho coos as he looks down at you, wanting to have the image burned into his memory. He adjusts his position so he's sat on one side of you and brings his free hand to your thighs, squeezing the flesh there and watching the way you spread your legs for him. "Pretty girl, I need you to use your words. Spreading your legs like a whore isn't gonna get you what you want." He revels in the way you throw your head back onto the mattress and close your eyes, frustration evident already on your face.
"Need your fingers, Yun. Please."
Holy shit, he could combust right then and there. He smiles and traces his hands along the inside of your clothed thighs. "Good girl. So polite for me." He hooks his fingers in the waistband of your leggings and pulls them down and off, leaving you bare from the waist down. "Sit up for me baby. I want you between my legs."
Yunho sits on the edge of the mattress and allows you time to sit up, moving to sit in between his thighs. He hooks your legs over his, leaving you spread and completely at his mercy. A shiver runs down your spine as the pads of his fingers run across your thighs and you gasp as they brush against your core. He presses kisses into your neck and chuckles, "You're already soaking wet, what's got you all bothered hmm? I've barely touched you..." Yunho hums and teases your entrance with this middle finger. He can feel you clenching. "Do you like my hands that much baby? All it takes is a little choking and you're putty for me." He pushes two fingers inside, pumping slowly and curling back to find your sweet spot. He feels pride flare through his chest at the noise you make, a mix between a whine and a moan that eggs him on.
Your toes curl as Yunho almost immediately finds your g-spot. The pace he sets is almost perfect, and when he begins rubbing tight circles on your clit your eyes roll back into your head. The pleasure is a building wave, and it's all you can do to keep yourself remotely still as he continues pumping his thick fingers in and out. "Oh my god, Yun, please don't stop!" You clench helplessly around his fingers and let your head roll back to rest on his shoulder.
"Awe baby I'm not gonna stop. Not until I see how pretty you look cumming all over me. Will you do that for me, sweetheart?" he coos, bringing his other hand back up to your throat and squeezing lightly. "Will you cum all over my fingers? I bet you want to right? Wanna come on my fingers while I squeeze this pretty neck of yours?"
You whine and preen at his words and arch your back. Your legs begin to shake as Yunho's circling on your clit quickens pace just slightly, the thrusts of his fingers audible from the squelching between your thighs. Your breath quickens.
"My pretty girl, you're such a mess for me, aren't you? Can you hear how wet you are? All soaked for me? I bet your hands don't feel as good as mine hmm?"
You shake your head no violently, whining as he continues to talk lowly into your ear. Your orgasm builds quickly, and at this point you have no faith in your ability to speak coherently.
"No, they don't do they? I want you to show me how good my hands feel baby. Let go for me, sweetheart."
Your breath catches in your throat as you tip over the edge, and the feeling of your release washes over you. Your whole body jolts in his grasp as he continues pumping his fingers. You feel him squeeze your throat gently, just enough pressure to remind you that he's got you.
"Atta girl, look at you! Doing so good for me." You whine and buck your hips, orgasm still riding through your body. Yunho nips at your neck lightly and slows his pumping to a stop as you continue to shake. "That's it baby, just grind on them for me." The final aftershock of your orgasm finishes, and you go limp in his arms, leaning all of your weight back into his chest and breathing heavily.
Yunho pulls his fingers out and admires the mess you made on them before popping them into his mouth. He's still rock hard, and the taste of you on his fingers makes him twitch again. He'll definitely need your help with that later. He uses the hand around your neck to brush a stray hair from out of your face. "How are you feeling?"
You huff out a breathless laugh and turn your face to nuzzle into his neck. "How do you think I feel? That was...wow."
He can't help the goofy smile that crosses his face. "Oh really? Tell me more, I'd like a full report." He jokes, pulling the two of you down to snuggle on his bed. He grabs a throw blanket from your side and pulls it over the two of you and nearly melts when you curl closer to him, burying your face into his chest.
"Give me a few minutes to recover and I'll show you exactly how I'm feeling right now." Yunho rubs a hand up and down your back.
"I look forward to that."
"And then afterwards you're going to show me what you've been building."
Yunho chuckles and kisses the top of your head. No way in hell.
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