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ssa-dado · 2 months ago

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1 - Orchids & Knots

Aaron Hotchner x bau!reader

Genre: fluff

Summary: A young profiler, recently recruited by Jason Gideon, joins the BAU and works with experienced agents, including Hotch and Rossi, on a challenging case involving a methodical killer. Despite initial nervousness, you start to bond with Hotch through wit and shared work ethic, revealing unexpected personal sides along the intense investigation.

Warnings: Usual CM case described in detail, hideous use of one bedroom trope, Gissi implied as a joke

Word Count: 4.1k

Dado's Corner: first part of the upcoming series! Still have no clue of how many parts it could have, just expect a very slow burn. My other fic - Symposium (definitely not platonic love) - is part of the same universe, hence why reader is still a philosophy enthusiast. You can enjoy this pilot as its own or read it before or after Symposium. You do you. Again, I'm aware there might be some mistakes as English isn't my first language so bear with me.

part zero - reading optional, but strongly advised ; part two

Everyone who knew you had assumed you'd take an academic route in your professional life, perhaps becoming a professor or researcher, but something you couldn’t explain had always pulled you toward the darker corners of human behavior.

You weren't satisfied with just understanding the human mind, you wanted to see what happened when it broke.

Now, you were standing still on the elevator on your way to meet Jason Gideon, the legend who had recruited you after being impressed by your sharp mind during a lecture he held at the academy.

Maybe it was because of your passion to philosophy that made you a natural curious person, always asking – sometimes asking way too many – questions, never taking anything for granted.

After that lecture you understood that profiling was a subject that rewarded what many considered to be one of your most annoying flaws. Hence why another reason you probably decide to follow that specific path, out of all the others: you wanted to prove everyone wrong.

What many didn’t see though - and most of the times you didn’t even realise yourself - is that you questioned yourself and your decisions more than anything else. Although for once, trusting more your instincts rather than your reasoning to decide to work at the Bureau, somehow sweetly felt right.

“Y/N, right?” A deep voice cut through your thoughts. You turned to see Gideon standing beside a tall man, impeccably dressed in a tailored suit. His expression appeared stoic, yet his eyes - sharp and calculated - were the most striking feature about him, even more than the smoke coming from his ears as he was focusing all of his energies on you to read through your façade.

As you entered the barely lit bullpen, the weight of the moment hit you. The room was filled with agents, all seasoned professionals busy with their work, pouring over case files, dissecting behavioral patterns, and speaking in hushed tones about suspects and profiles. Their years of experience were palpable, but instead of shrinking, you felt a quiet resolve. You were aware you had something unique to offer - not to be cocky about it - and Gideon clearly thought so too, otherwise you wouldn’t be there.

You were trying your best to be as neutral as possible but you couldn’t deny you immediately felt a wave of adrenaline coursing through you. Knowing you were standing before one most formidable profilers the FBI had ever known and next to him the one you hypothesised to be the Bureau’s next rising star. There wouldn’t be any other plausible reasons for him to stand so close to Gideon otherwise, you thought.

“Yes, sir,” you responded, willing yourself to keep calm. Gideon had introduced you to the mystery man next to him – SSA Aaron Hotchner – or you-can-call-me-Hotch; For a moment you felt so uncool for not having a nickname yourself.

Hotch studied you further for a moment, his face unreadable, but you could tell he was intrigued. His nod was brief, but it felt like a form of acknowledgment.

Gideon smiled warmly. “Good to see you again, Y/N. I’ve been just telling Hotch here about your academic work, very impressive stuff. I’m sure the mix of philosophy, linguistics and psychology will give you quite of a unique lens for profiling.”

“Welcome to the team,” Hotch said simply, though his tone carried weight. With just a sentence he made sure to remind you that you weren’t just another recruit, you were expected to contribute. You hoped his remark would just point out at the overall high expectations everyone had of you, instead of him questioning your presence here due to your young age, less than a week passed from your 21st birthday.

"Thank you," you said, trying to balance out with professionalism. "I’m eager to get started."

Gideon gestured for you to follow him. "Come on, there’s someone else I want you to meet. David Rossi."

Your heart raced. David Rossi, the legend who had co-founded the BAU with the man standing next to you. The picture of you working with him felt surreal. As you, Hotch, and Gideon made your way to Rossi’s office, you could feel Hotch’s eyes still occasionally flicking toward you, still assessing, still quiet. His silence felt deliberate, as though he wanted to see how you carried yourself before making any judgments.

When you entered Rossi’s office, he looked up from his desk, his dark eyes locking onto yours. His presence was formidable, the kind of aura that came from decades of experience. For a brief moment, you felt like he was already profiling you, dissecting every nuance of your appearance and demeanor. Then, his face broke into a bright grin, and he stood, extending his hand.

"So, you’re the philosophy kid," Rossi said, his voice gruff but warm. "Gideon’s been talking your ear off about you."

Philosophy kid, as if you didn’t feel odd enough.

You shook his hand. "That’s me. Nice to meet you, Agent Rossi."

You smiled at that, already feeling some of the tension ebbing away in his presence. There was something about Rossi’s bluntness that was oddly reassuring. He was a man who spoke his mind, no pretense, no games.

"Dave," he corrected, flashing a grin. "‘Agent Rossi’ makes me sound like I could be your nonno. You can call me Dave."

"So, Gideon tells me you speak sixteen languages?" Rossi asked, raising an eyebrow. "How come? Ever consider becoming a spy?"

"Bisnonno" He quickly grinned, you had just entered his office and already flexing your Italian, he teased you first though. "Got it, Dave.". If there would have been one thing you had learnt throughout the brief 2 minutes you’ve been working at the BAU, is that profilers were no joke about their nicknames.

You laughed softly. "I was raised in a bilingual household, I have a thing for languages"

Hotch, who had been quiet up until now, finally spoke. "It’ll definitely come in handy in the field. We deal with a lot of international cases."

His voice was calm, measured. Although you had read his file; Hotch wasn’t just any profiler - he was methodical, relentless, and someone who had climbed the ranks through sheer dedication. His seriousness wasn’t arrogance, but a reflection of his deep commitment to the job.

Rossi leaned back slightly, his eyes now flicking over your outfit, your well-fitted total black three-piece suit. “I’ll say, I didn’t expect someone at 21 to show up looking more polished than half of the bureau. You sure you’re not here to give a lecture?”

You chuckled, feeling some of the tension melt away. "This is just my definition of business casual”

Gideon smiled but quickly shifted back to business. “I brought the two of you here in Dave’s office because we just got a tough case” He says gesturing towards you and Hotch “And I want all of us to be working together in on it”.

Rossi laughed, clearly enjoying your response. "Gideon, I think you found someone who might out-dress me."

Normally at the BAU they would either work solo or in pairs, sometimes they would even assest the case from the comfort of their own desk there in Quantico, if travelling was not deemed crucial to build the profile. Only when crime would be particularly complex, they would quicky assemble a team, a small task-force of sorts, take their go-bag with them and travel all across the country struggling more with the train connections rather than with the criminals themselves.

You ironically told yourself that there wouldn’t be a much better start on your new job, your heart raced with anticipation. "What’s the case?" You asked trying to mask the slight feeling of anxiety rushing through your veins.

In a matter of seconds, Gideon quicky exited the office and had already came back firmy holding a bunch of manila folders. He handed you a thick case file, and as you flipped through it, your stomach slightly churned, reminding you this wasn’t these weren’t just pictures on your textbooks.

The unsub had left seven bodies in three states, all bound with intricate knots, posed in ritualistic displays. Each victim had an orchid placed delicately on their chest, and despite the grotesque nature of the crimes, you found there was an eerie beauty in how the unsub treated his victims.

"The knots," Gideon explained, pointing to a photograph. "They’re not random. Each one is different, and each one requires a high level of skill. The unsub is precise, organized, and deliberate. He’s treating these murders like a performance."

These killings to you were manifest of the deeply rooted paradox in human experience - beauty and pain - where both often coexist or follow each other closely. You always found amusing how beauty, whether in art, nature, or human life, often emergeed through struggle or suffering.

You looked closely at the images, analyzing the intricacies of the knots, you feel the need to add something else. "It’s not just performance - it’s communication. The knots are sending a message. He’s not killing out of anger. There’s patience here. He wants control, and the orchids, those suggest he sees the victims as fragile, beautiful objects to be perfected, but ultimately destroyed."

Even historically, humankind tended to these opposites because they reflect the full range of life’s complexities, as joy often emerges from pain, and suffering can heighten the appreciation of beauty. You kept the philosophical monologue to yourself, you definitely didn’t want to reinforce even more the prejudice your teammates could already have on you, the lack of field expertise overly compensated by the knowledge of human nature.

Hotch leaned forward, his dark eyes narrowing slightly. "He’s someone with discipline, military or maybe maritime experience. The variety of knots points to a deeper knowledge of how they work. He’s not just tying them for show. He’s someone who understands the function of every twist and turn."

Rossi smiled at your analysis, clearly impressed. "Not bad. Not bad at all, philosopher. " You now started to suspect Gideon had overly gushed about this particular part of your background as it seemed to be the only thing your new co-workers remembered about you.

You nodded, your mind racing. "And the orchids, they aren’t just decorative. He’s choosing them for a reason. Orchids are notoriously difficult to grow. They’re delicate but require meticulous care, which suggests he sees himself as a cultivator. He picks his victims carefully, like someone choosing a rare flower, and when they don’t live up to his standards, he... prunes them."

The team continued to build the profile, each member adding layers of complexity. The unsub’s background became clearer: someone with a need for control, a perfectionist likely with some connection to floristry or horticulture. You felt a growing sense of camaraderie as you offered ideas and bounced theories off Hotch, who slowly began engaging with you more directly.

“They do act like an old married couple” Hotch hums in a low voice while pointing at Rossi and Gideon vividly arguing far away from the two of you about something you couldn’t grasp yet. You immediately chuckle at the sight, appreciating Hotch’s efforts to bond with you yet still being very reserved and shielding himself through his rare jokes.

A few days into the investigation, you found yourself paired with Hotch all the times, a tactic you knew Gideon pulled just to make you feel the most at ease, despite the overly reserved nature of your partner.

He continued, “See, they might made you think the fraternization rules exist because of Dave, what they didn’t tell you is that he’s probably secretly married with Gideon and apparently the latter today forgot about their anniversary”. You tried your best not to burst into laughing as the Italian man furiously walked towards the two of you, Gideon quick on his feet following him with an apologetic look on his face. Damn, Hotch might have been right, the similarities in the physical language to the scenario he previously mentioned was uncanny.

“The Bureau changed our accommodation, again.” Gideon sighed “They’ll soon send us the address, we have two rooms, two twin beds each, private bathroom” He ironically emphasised the last part, as if he was offering all of you the deal of your life.

“Budget cut again kiddos” Dave announced, oblivious of the reason why both of yours and Hotch's eyes were almost tearing up trying to hold in the laughters.

“Hood rats.” Rossi flamboyantly replied “So here’s another reason to end this case as soon as possible. Figli di puttana, There's no way I'm sleeping more with Jason rather than with my own wife”. Both you and Hotch gave each other a quick mischievous side-eye that could speak more than a thousand words. As the two of them moved away from you and Hotch enough so they wouldn’t hear your next words, you turned towards him. “Dave didn’t even offer us to sleep with him in his room, you actually might have been right all along”.

“I’m always right” He replied showing the dimples on his face.

“Typical lawyer behaviour, gaslighting their way just to be right in their own distorted reality.” You poke fun at him as you reminded he told you he used to work as a persecutor before landing into the Bureau.

Hotch definitely didn’t expect such a quick-witted comeback from you. “I wasn’t aware philosophers knew humor” he teased you.

“We patented it” you smirk.

You and Hotch later surveyed a potential crime scene—a floral shop the unsub had likely visited. As you both examined the area, you could feel Hotch's eyes on you, observing how you worked, how you processed information.

"You’re picking up on a lot for your first case," Hotch said, breaking the silence. "Most people miss the smaller details."

You looked over at him, surprised by the sudden compliment. "Thanks. I guess looking at things in an unorthodox way helps, all the hours spent on Plato apparently paid off"

Hotch nodded. "It shows. Keep it up."

Together, you reviewed the evidence, each of you adding to the emerging profile. You and Hotch began to form a pattern: he’d focus on the precision of the unsub’s actions, while you offered a more abstract perspective, thinking about the emotional motivations behind the crimes.

Later that evening, after a long day of chasing leads and trying to make sense of the tangled web the unsub had woven, you all finally were set into the new accommodation.

Despite Rossi’s earlier complaints about the budget cuts, the place wasn’t that bad - it was modest but clean, with enough space to spread out the case files and work. You and Hotch were indeed been paired up to share a room, as he previously predicted, with two twin beds crammed into a space that would feel much smaller once your notes and case materials were scattered all across the floor.

As soon as you entered the room, Hotch moved with military precision, setting down his go-bag and immediately pulling out a file. He glanced around briefly, as if taking in every detail of the room in a split second, then sat down at the small desk, already deep in thought.

You, on the other hand, sat on the edge of your bed for a moment, looking around and trying to shake off the fatigue that was creeping in. It was only your first case, and yet you felt the pressure building already - both from the weight of the crimes and from wanting to prove yourself in front of someone as formidable as Hotch. Despite the intensity of the case, you couldn’t help but be amused at the situation.

“So, do you believe their honeymoon suite is just as romantic as ours?” You asked with a smirk, hoping to lighten the mood.

Hotch didn’t look up immediately, as if puzzled on how to choose his next words, though you caught the slight twitch of his lips. “Yeah, nothing says romance like crime scene photos and case files scattered everywhere.”

You chuckled and tossed your jacket onto the back of a chair. “I always knew the FBI had a weird way of doing things, but I have to admit this is next level.”

As you pulled out the case file, flipping through the pages and studying the photos, you found it hard to concentrate, mostly because of how quiet the room turned out to become. Hotch was the kind of person whose silence seemed louder than most people’s conversations, and though you could tell he was intensely focused on the case, you sensed that he was also observing you – amazed at how it was the first time he ever saw someone overworking themselves as much as he did.

Breaking the silence, you threw a glance at him. “You ever wonder what makes someone do this? I mean, it’s one thing to read about it in a textbook, but seeing it in person…”

Hotch set his pen down and leaned back slightly in his chair, his gaze fixed on you. “Every time. You get used to it, but it never really stops affecting you.”

You nodded, taking that in. “It’s just so… deliberate. Every little detail, like the knots, the orchids, it’s like he’s creating something, not just destroying.”

Hotch’s eyes narrowed in thought, clearly impressed by your analysis. “That’s an interesting perspective. Most people would only see the destruction.”

“You know,” you said, leaning back on the bed, wanting to return the subtle compliment “when I first joined the academy, I never thought I’d end up here, sitting in a hotel room with one of the newest best profilers in the country.”

Hotch raised an eyebrow. “Flattery, huh? Didn’t think philosophers believed in that.”

You grinned. “We don’t, but I make exceptions.”

He gave you another small smile, his guard dropping just a little. “Well, I didn’t expect to be working with a 21-year-old who can hold their own on a case like this.”

“I’ve got to keep up with all of you somehow.”

Hotch shook his head slightly, still smiling. “You’re doing more than keeping up, but I’ve already told you this.”

The next morning, while poring over the case, both you and Hotch hit on the idea that the unsub might escalate soon. "He’s been meticulous so far, but there’s a growing desperation in the pattern," you observed. "He’s becoming bolder with each kill, taking greater risks. If he feels like he’s not getting the recognition he craves, he might go after a more high-profile victim."

Hotch considered this, his brow furrowing. "Someone in the public eye. He’d want an audience for his ‘art.’ We should look into upcoming events where he might strike."

Later, Gideon walked into the room with a look that told you something big had just clicked into place. "We’ve got a break," he said, laying down a new set of photographs. They were taken at a local orchid show, a high-profile event that had been held recently. "We missed it before because the show was a private event, members only. But one of the attendees matched the profile. His name is Matthew Carson, a former Navy sailor turned horticulturist."

You leaned over the photos, seeing the man for the first time. Carson was in his mid-thirties, tall, with an air of quiet control about him. "That explains the knots," you said. "He would’ve learned that skill in the Navy. And the flowers - he’s obsessed with perfection, cultivating these delicate orchids. It fits with how he views his victims."

Hotch nodded, already processing the next steps. "We need to move fast. He’s going to escalate, and the orchid show gives him an audience: a high-profile victim pool. He’ll want to make his statement soon."

The team sprang into action, coordinating with local authorities to track Carson down. You, Hotch, Rossi, and Gideon prepared to approach his house, a sprawling property on the outskirts of town, where Carson ran his own private orchid nursery.

As the team closed in, your heart pounded with anticipation. Carson’s house was an eerie reflection of his mind: immaculate, but with an unsettling coldness, orchids lined the windowsills and filled every room with their fragile beauty. It was a place of quiet obsession.

Rossi was the first to spot Carson. The man was in the greenhouse, meticulously pruning an orchid, completely unaware of the FBI’s presence. Hotch signaled for you to stay back as he and Rossi approached cautiously.

"Matthew Carson," Hotch called, his voice steady but firm.

Carson didn’t flinch. He continued trimming the orchid as though nothing out of the ordinary was happening. "You don’t understand," he said quietly, his voice calm but laced with underlying madness. "It’s about perfection. I’m creating something beautiful."

Hotch took a step closer. "You’re hurting people, Matthew. This isn’t beauty, it’s destruction."

Carson finally looked up, his eyes hollow yet intense. "They weren’t good enough. The flowers... they have to be perfect."

You could feel the tension in the air while Hotch was doing what he did best, calmly, methodically drawing Carson out, understanding his twisted mind.

"They’re not flowers, Matthew. They’re people," You said as Hotch took another step closer. You continued "You’re not creating beauty. You’re trying to control what you can’t, but perfection doesn’t exist."

Carson’s grip tightened on the shears in his hand, his knuckles turning white. "I can make it exist," he whispered.

Before he could act, Rossi moved swiftly, disarming Carson and pinning him to the ground, he struggled briefly but then went limp, as if the fight had left him entirely. The unsub’s calm shattered, and in that moment, you saw the deep fragility that had driven his madness.

"You think you understand, but you don’t," Carson muttered as he was handcuffed. "I was so close."

As Gideon secured Carson, you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding. The case was over, but the weight of it still lingered but before you could start overthinking, you felt a hand on top of your left shoulder. Your heart skips a beat and you quickly turn around to what revealed to be Hotch “Good job on the case, partner” You shyly smile “Not so bad as your first case at all”

“I could say the same about you, especially on the way you handled Carson, but I bet someone like you is used to the myriad of compliments at this point.”

He rolled his eyes, then quickly moved towards Rossi before you could notice the smile tugged on his face - too late – you could see his dimples still showing even when he was far away from you.

Later, on the train ride back to Quantico, you and Hotch found yourselves sitting across from each other. The case had drained everyone, you glanced at Hotch, who was staring out the window, lost in thought.

"So," you said, breaking the silence, curious to know something real about the man you shared a room with for the past two days "now that the case is over, are you going to admit that you do something other than work? Or is profiling literally your only hobby?"

Hotch turned to you, raising an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," you said with a grin, "You must have to do something outside of this. You can't just spend all your downtime preparing for the next criminal mastermind, or developing conspiracy theories" His eyes went to his side, inviting you to glance at the older profilers. Rossi was conveniently standing up from his seat and leaning in front of Gideon, showing him something on a case file while simultaneously tracing small circles with the back of his pen on the papers the other was holding.

He gave you small smirk, his eyes twinkling with just a hint of mischief, then out of the blue he blurts out “I play the guitar."

You blinked, caught off guard. "You play the guitar?! Seriously?"

Hotch nodded, his expression casual, though you could tell he was enjoying your surprise. "Yeah. It’s something I picked up in college. Helps me unwind."

"Wait, wait, wait," you said, holding up a hand. "Aaron Hotchner, stoic, no-nonsense FBI agent extraordinaire, plays the guitar? I need proof. This sounds like a bluff."

He chuckled, the sound rare but genuine. "I don’t think I need to prove anything to you."

You leaned back in your seat, resting one hand on your forehead. "Unbelievable. I was so sure you didn’t have a hobby. I mean, by the way you work, I was starting to think someone else in the Bureau was keeping another big secret from us, C3-PO"

The unexpected Star Wars reference earned you a genuine laugh from him, then shook his head, a small smile still playing on his lips. "Just because I’m focused on the job doesn’t mean I don’t have other interests."

"Okay, fair enough," you admitted. "But now I’m really curious. What kind of music do you play? Classical? Rock? Please tell me it’s something totally unexpected, like heavy metal."

He laughed again, a sound you were quickly becoming fond of. "Mostly blues, actually."

You stared at him, wide-eyed. "Blues? Wow, that’s... I don’t know, I guess I expected you to say something like jazz or folk, but blues? That’s kind of badass."

Hotch gave a modest shrug. "It’s calming. Helps me think."

"I’m still wrapping my head around this," you said with a smirk. "I’m going to need to hear you play one day. Otherwise, I’m sticking with my theory that you’re secretly a robot who plays FBI agent."

He gave you a side-eye but couldn’t suppress his smile. "I’ll think about it, maybe after the next case if you’re still around"

You pretended to be offended by his words "Is this a threat?!”

“I was just trying to be encouraging”

Maybe working at the BAU wouldn’t be as intimidating as you first thought after all.

As the train rumbled on, you felt a sense of camaraderie with Hotch, a shared respect that had grown over the course of the case. You had proven yourself, and in return, he had let you see a side of him that few people probably ever did.

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch x reader #hotch x reader #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds #aaron hotchner #hotch #jason gideon #david rossi

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ancientgoddessofegypt · 6 months ago

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The Signs & Romance.

Hey, so I've decided to share some views/thoughts I had on each sign placement whether it was sun,moon or venus. Please share your thoughts about the signs and their views on love! I'm open for the discussion. But yeah. I hope yall enjoy!

Cancer Suns romantic nature can express itself with leo partners easily. Believe it or not. It is because both tend to want the most out of passionate affairs and leo shows the playful side while cancers show the mystic, hidden side of romance. I believe these two to be really good at making love to each other as one is a representation of the sun (leo) and the other the moon. Also, cancer suns can get along with any leo placement, doesnt matter which one. They balance each other out very well.

Scorpio placements need water placements (other scorpios in particular) in order to truly be understood. It is because these placements are a mirror in their romantic life, for better or for worse. And they need someone who understands their darkness, let alone their karma.

Scorpio placements such as Venus, need a special romance with someone. Even if they though sleep around, there will always be someone out there for them, who shares the same amount of passion and intensity they crave. Not everyone will see this character, it is saved for only one person. And sometimes its just in their mind.

Pisces Venus need to write a book on the love affairs they have in their minds lol. Similar to the scorpio venus, they have room for only one love affair that could stand the test of time. This isn't 'real' persay, but romance with them isn't practical and they need others who can fit into their world, because the imagination is what will run far in their love life. If you can keep them from being bored, then you will have them for ages.

Cancer placements & scorpio placements are the tantra lovers. Their love can be so deep and profound, it will leave a mark on anyone they have that strong compatibility with.

Gemini placements making a square to your sun sign or venus can show a deep appreciation and charismatic nature on their part, believe it or not. They NEED tension or else it will be too smooth, too flowy. And before you ask, doesn't everybody want that? Why, yes.. But geminis are typically like this on their day to day anyways. That's just in their nature. They need something challenging to spark their interests. Ironically, they will love you a lot more if you beat them to the punch. ;)

Virgos & Scorpios can make for a gifted experience together. This is because these two placements form a natural sextile together. They know each others tics, and how to appreciate the flow of their being. Virgos will allow the scorpio their alone time and be the calm auras that they need when their facing certain phases of darkness. Scorpios will be the penetrating touch that the virgo needs when they're feeling. a little anxious. Both come together like the two serpents that they are and form a connection that is raw, powerful and unique.

Aries placements need lovers who are CONFIDENT. And if you're not this will not work out well. This is why they're great with leo and sag placements, and can do very well with scorpios. A little secret is that if your not confident in bed, you're not going to do well with them... And they'll run you like a train if you're not able to stand ten toes to them, let alone when they want to tear open your insides.

Libra suns & moons have the gifted ability to make anyone feel wanted and loved when their in their horizons. So much so, that their transparent nature can show up in their love for the individual of their choosing and bring them into a world they will never forget. If they have scorpio in their chart this could be a 1 of 1. They are choosy lovers like their virgo companions.

Taurus Suns, Moons & Venus need a lifetime partner. They just dont want anyone. Their sex game is crazy. They are the venusians and their true purpose in life is pleasure. Get you one of them lol. Tauruses need love that makes them forget their past. That calls them into a vacation that doesnt ask for them to leave the country. They need someone who is stable, fine, remarkable and has their self in control. Because taurus is always in control, and they need someone to take the steering wheel from time to time... if you know what I mean ;)

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thepersonperson · 1 month ago

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Autism in JJK Part 1 (Isolation and Movies)

Notes before we start.

1) Read the light novels. They are the equivalent of Bleach's CFYOW for JJK. There is a fan translation (Book 1 & Book 2), but I will be citing the official translation from my own copies.

2) I will be mainly using the TCB scans for the manga because of their accessibility.

3) Read the light novels.

(Click images for captions/citations.)

Preface

Dungeon Meshi is heralded as The ultimate story of incompatible autisms. Everyone recognizes Laois and most of his party as autistic. Each of these characters are able to use their specific types of autism to solve problems throughout the series.

Laois’s autistic traits in particular have drawbacks when it comes to others’ perception of him. To directly quote one of the best Dungeon Meshi text posts on this site:

“Dungeon Meshi is about a quirked up white boy on a quest to save his sister and perhaps indulge his special interest along the way. He's a man of pure heart who has done nothing but help anyone he's met. Then part way through the story you start seeing other pov characters and it turns out every single person who has met him outside his party has read his awkward social skills and love for grilling as a sign of something deeply evil and has vowed to kill him on sight.”

Using Laois as a reference, I want to argue that Jujutsu Kaisen is the penultimate story of incompatible autisms.

Addendum/Disclaimer

I’m heavily drawing from experiences with my particular brand of autism for this analysis, so I’m bound to not properly consider everything. My words should not be taken as gospel since autism is a wide spectrum that manifests differently for each individual. Certain autistic traits will show up for one person and be completely absent in another. (And I personally think JJK does a great job of showcasing this variation.)

There is also significant overlap between Autism and ADHD which I’m not qualified to make connections with. (Basically if you have ADHD feel free to explain how you see yourself in these characters too.) There’s probably other readings that have flown over my head, but please understand I’m not trying to be malicious.

The main traits I’ll be referencing are:

Social Unawareness

Bluntness (and it being perceived as rudeness)

Taking Things Literally

Double Empathy Problem (the non-autistic and the autistic have a hard time understanding each other’s way of thinking and therefore struggle to communicate with each other)

Emotional Blindness/Alexithymia (difficulties with understanding and articulating one's emotions)

Hyperfixations

Special Interests

(Stimming is left out because of Tumblr's 30 image limit. Someone else can make that post for me.)

Mahito’s Autism

Strange title section right? Allow me to defend it. Mahtio’s Domain Expansion (DE) Self-Embodiment of Perfection is localized from 自閉円頓裹 (Jihei Endonka). The first two kanji 自閉 (Jihei) create the Japanese word for Autistic. Where 自 (Ji) is self and 閉 (Hei) is close/shut. The Japanese word for Autism is 自閉症 (Jiheisho) where 症 (sho) means disease. A very literal translation of Jiheisho is “self-shut disease”.

Equating autism to an illness that causes one to shut themselves inwards is flawed in its framework, but not wrong in describing the unique isolation autistic people face. If the kanji used didn’t clue you in, Japanese society is much more hostile to the autistic than English speaking countries. This is in part due to many autistic traits being seen as socially unacceptable for deviating too much from the norm.

There’s been a whole study on this if you want to know more. (This study allowed for self-diagnosed people to participate and included non-binary gender options, so I’m comfortable using it.) Quoted directly from the source:

“Many autistic individuals engage in social camouflage and attempt to use social interaction to obtain job opportunities and other benefits. The aforementioned ‘need’ of autistic individuals to engage in social camouflage forces them to continuously pretend that they are non-autistic. This is associated with significant manifestations of mental health deterioration, such as depression, generalised anxiety, social anxiety, suicide attempts, and burnout because of exhaustion and fatigue.”

“Markus and Kitayama refer to Japanese and other East Asian cultures as ‘cultures of interdependence’. In these cultures, the primary challenge faced by individuals is to conform without standing out and pay more attention to others than oneself. Thus, the ‘uniqueness’ of autistic people can be perceived negatively, and it can threaten relationships and interpersonal harmony within the community.”

Now what does discrimination against autistic people have to do with Mahito? Well, everything. Mahito manifested as the hatred between humans, making them unique within the Natural Disaster Curses group. This causes friction in their relationships with the other curses, mainly Jogo.

When Dagon dies, Jogo mourns. When Hanami dies, Jogo and Dagon mourn. When Mahito learns about this? They react like this.

Totally not appropriate for the situation. You could chalk it up to them being a curse, but the other curses have already shown they’re capable of caring deeply for each other.

This isn’t the only instance of it either. In the light novels, Mahito really gets into movies to better understand humans which results in this.

Jogo simply does not know what to do with Mahito becoming a filmbro.

Jokes aside, Mahito is using movies and other forms of media to better understand people not like themself. And despite their efforts to better grasp emotions, this causes Mahito to become even more alienated from his peers. He’s in his own little bubble and his way of thinking is boon when fighting but a bane for his relationships. There’s something very autistic about that.

Shared Special Interests

On the flipside, Mahito’s movie and book fascination causes them to create a bond with a blind homeless old man that lives under a bridge. But it’s only because the two of them have this interest in common.

As stated in CFYOW, JJK Summer of Ashes, Autumn of Dust Chapter 3: Allegory in Darkness, Mahito has canonically read Kafka.

And that line at the end. “It makes talking to you easy.” This is the same phrase Mahito uses when grooming Junpei. Though Mahito’s relationship with Junpei is one of manipulation, it started as something rather innocent—they both went to the theater, saw the same movie, and were annoyed by the people disrupting their viewing experience.

That small connection, their shared interest in movies caused them to bond quickly and Mahito used it for manipulation. (This is not unlike how minors in fandom spaces can be groomed by the adults around them.)

Mahito learned how to be this way in part by studying media and applying it to their actions. They can’t interact with most humans 1-on-1, so their main source of understanding them is media, which gives them this warped sense of reality. Think Plato’s Allegory of the Cave. Mahito doesn’t know better because this is all they know.

It’s no wonder they conclude that humans at the core are creatures that eat, sleep, and rape (Ch 49 Pg 18 Sorry I ran out of image space). Think of how many “the joke is sexual assault” type characters there are in Japanese media alone. (Let’s not ignore how bad it gets in American 80s comedies too.)

Mahito is essentially a blank slate with no frame of reference for morals, critical analysis, or media literacy in general. It’s not very surprising they take everything at face value and then use it for evil.

And that’s why I wanted to discuss them first. Mahito is a reflection of humans and their reaction to media has echoes in how other characters, who are probably autistic, navigate their relationships with themselves and other humans.

Itadori Yuji’s Autism

When I say Yuji is pure and the goodest boy in the world, I’m referring to the unbridled autistic joy in which he interacts with the world. He’s not much different than Laois from Dungeon Meshi. The way Yuji introduces himself to others is unhinged. He frequently does and says things that are not socially appropriate in the slightest. Whatever comes to mind first he acts on, no filter.

But being unhinged isn’t necessarily autistic. What gives this the ‘tism is the socially inept internal logic that goes into Yuji’s decision making. Dudebros may refer to it as locking in, but it is better known as hyperfocusing. You give Yuji a task and he Will complete it, anything in his way be damned.

Ijichi gave Yuji a task. Figure out if this person is an enemy and make sure nobody gets hurt. Interrupting a convo and pantsing a guy to complete this task is Yuji autistically logicing his way around setbacks. What’s a non-violent way to get someone to leave? Stealing their pants, probably. Things like social rules don’t matter if lives are at risk.

Don’t believe that’s socially-blind autistic logic? Let me give you this guy from 4Chan and myself as an example. As a child I was told I should never lie no matter what. At 8 years old, I did something that upset my teacher. I didn’t know I had upset my teacher until I was asked to write an apology letter by my parents. So in my little pea brain, I had no reason to apologize because that would be lying. I then wrote something along the lines of, “I’m only writing this apology because my parents are making me.” (I got yelled at for this which confused me even more. What do you mean you want me to lie, mother???)

You can see this kind of logic with the finger eating especially. Yuji took Megumi’s words very literally and ate a mummified human finger because that’s what was needed to save lives. This isn’t a one off thing either, it keeps happening over and over—Yuji taking the most literal interpretation of the words spoken to him and acting on them in the most autistic way possible.

I love the Nanamin alert especially because only Idatori Yuji would think to do that. It also a neat showcase of the double-edged sword that can come from autism. Yes, Yuji effectively and quickly relays important information to his allies, but to their enemies as well. He also does it in a way that gets him bopped on the head by Megumi. Kind of like how going along with Gojo’s plans has him bullied by his classmates.

This happens a lot too—Yuji doing what others tell him to do, filling in the blanks when they fail to elaborate on the how to, and it backfiring.

There is nothing more autistic than doing exactly as you are told and getting punished for it.

Nanami tells Yuji not to call him Nanami-sensei. But he doesn’t tell Yuji what exactly to call him instead, so he guesses. And since Yuji is socially unaware to a degree, he comes up with Nanamin instead of the Nanami-san that would’ve been more polite.

Megumi and Panda tell Yuji to lie. But lying isn’t in his nature so he really sucks at it. Pretending he doesn’t know who Gojo is because 1) he was told to lie and 2) Gojo is a part of the group Yuji is was explicitly told not show any familiarity with, is peak autism logic.

It’s all a part of Yuji’s charm though. Despite his autistic traits getting him into plenty of trouble, they also are a big reason as to why everyone loves him.

Yuji’s Autistic Rizz

Yuji seems to mirror other people both to better understand them and because he’s relying on them to show him how he’s supposed to act. (More on that here.) Most of the time this is played for comedic effect, but sometimes it results in instant pair-bonding. I think that’s the autism-to-autism connection being made. (It’s also known as the morphogenetic field if you’ve played 999.)

Just like how Mahito used movies to bond with Junpei, Yuji does it too. But he uses this shared interest for good and provides a counter to Mahito’s grooming.

And lookie here, he can even utilize his love of movies to bond with people who aren’t into them at all. Junpei’s mom may not get it, but she’s endeared by it. This unparalleled autistic rizz is fundamental to Yuji’s character. And in my opinion, his relationship with Todo Aoi best showcases this.

Everyone knows that Todo and Yuji’s shared love of tall women with big butts is what brought them together. But what’s most overlooked is the specific tall woman with a big butt that made this possible in the first place. Before Todo even asks Yuji for his type, Yuji makes it known he is aware of who Takada is. (He happened to see her on TV as stated in CFYOW, JJK Summer of Ashes, Autumn of Dust Ch 4 Pgs 89–90. Ijichi is the secret Takada fan.)

Takada is who prompts Todo into asking. She is also the one who appears in Todo’s delusions, guiding him to victory and driving most of the reasons behind his actions. With great confidence I can say Todo’s special interest is Takada. (And most of the fanbase assumes he’s autistic, so I don’t feel the need to explain that more.)

And what’s crazy about his special interest of his is that it fudging works. Takada and his love for manga help Todo create successful strategies. I include his love of manga because his fakeout with Mahito is a Hunter x Hunter reference.

It’s a bit spoilers to discuss how exactly this is genius, but you’ll have to trust me when I say it’s very clever. Rather than simply nodding to the source material, Todo is using the twist reveal from that scene and subverting it to help Yuji win.

This is nearly identical to Laois utilizing his special interest monster knowledge to create victories out of what would be defeats for other characters. Todo weaponizes his autism in a way that works perfect for sorcery.

But when it comes to interpersonal relationships? It destroys them. Everyone who isn’t Yuji hates Todo.

Todo Aoi is second to Gojo Satoru when it comes to characters considering him the greatest source of stress. (Momo, Mai, and Kamo with Kokichi dedicating pages 43–46 of CFYOW JJK Thorny Road at Dawn, Chapter 2 to how much Todo stresses him out.)

They’re most annoyed with him when he talks about his special interest—Takada. She is a huge reason as to why Todo is such a good sorcerer, you could even call her The Reason he’s so good. People rely on him quite literally weaponizing his autism. But when he starts being autistic outside of sorcery? They don’t tolerate it.

This is a recurring problem for autistic sorcerers. The very people that depend on their weaponized autism will scorn it the moment it no longer serves them directly. It’s a very Not In My Backyard (NIMBY) mentality. Sure they want all the benefits but keep the drawbacks out of their sight.

Yuji’s Loneliness

Just like Todo, Yuji suffers from social disconnect due to his autism. He feels like he struggles to understand and connect with others on a deeper level. His own feelings and other people’s feelings are sometimes a mystery to him.

On a surface level Yuji seems to be on the same wavelength as Junpei through their shared love of movies. That is until they fight each other. Yuji doesn’t understand that Junpei is acting out of grief at the start of their fight. He says something insensitive at first, but he eventually asks Junpei to spell things out so he can understand what’s going on.

It takes until the end of the Sukuna fight for Yuji to truly connect with someone—Megumi. But it’s only because they both make their feelings known directly to each other. Before that though? As discussed earlier, the autistic traits that make him good at sorcery are often off-putting to others.

I mentioned how Yuji mirrors others in what seems to be an attempt to understand others in that post I linked. In the same one I also discuss how Yuji is able to decenter himself and sync up with just about anyone. With respect to his autism, this really reads like masking to me.

When Yuji lets that mask slip and indulges his personal hobbies, it’s a toss up on whether or not he’ll be accepted or rejected. The movies that allowed him to pairbond with Junpei don’t work for everyone. Just like Mahito with Jogo…being a filmbro causes friction with Megumi and Nobara.

Though Yuji otherwise gets along very well with Megumi and Nobara, there is something so very relatable and sad about seeing this particular hobby of his being trashed. What’s worse is that the 2 people who would’ve matched his freak in this regard are both dead: Junpei and the one who intensified this interest of his in the first place—Gojo Satoru.

Gojo Satoru’s Autism

I must confess, this entire post got written because of this anonymous ask I was sent a while ago. I was surprised to get it since I assumed everyone understood Gojo to be autistic by default like Laois Dungeon Meshi. So I’m going to copy and paste this anon’s words because all their observations are correct.

"As someone with Autisim, I heavily identify with how he was raised (the gifted child who is too observant vs the prophesied child who was raised to be a weapon first) and the way other react around him (treating everything he says and does with disdain)

I find the way he clings so strongly to the idea of strong and weak even after Geto and Toji yet still having a sense of justice/ noticing the unfairness of it all, his sensitivity issues, his ability to notice emotional cues yet not having the means to respond in an allistic way, his tendency to take his jokes and teasing too far/ act too close to people, and the general othering of him just screams autism to me. Like can see a lot of those traits which is usually tamped down by society being exasperated because, what are you going to do, he is the strongest, you can't just tell him off in a serious way, not when, in your society, the strong rule.

I see it especially with his students, where he's taken in all the misfits and is so casual with them in day to day life. Even him throwing them in the proverbial deepend with missions is probably how he was taught by his clan before entering jujitsu tech."

And directly from Gege via the special Gojo Booklet.

"Q25: born and raised as a high-born, he is regaled by both himself and others are the strongest, and he seems to have want of very little, but what would you consider Gojo's weakness?

A25: His personality.

Q26: what would you consider Gojo Satoru's most intrinsic strength, when you put aside his innate abilities, influence, and physical prowess?

A26: His personality."

Thank you Gege for stating it so bluntly. The part of Gojo’s personality that is both strength and weakness. Something that makes him a great sorcerer and socially isolated. That’s the autism.

Now that we (that anon) has established that Gojo Satoru is definitely autistic, let’s go over how this has affected his interpersonal relationships.

Improper Socialization

The Gojo Booklet has forever ruined me. Deep in my heart, I knew this was going on, but to have everything confirmed so bluntly is something else. To summarize:

Gojo was born and raised in Kyoto by an extremely closed-off traditionalist family. His Clan treated him as an investment rather than a person, focusing on his education as a sorcerer and neglecting him emotionally to create the perfect living weapon. It’s implied he was educated privately and did not attend a school with other people until high school. It’s also implied that the Clan kept Gojo under strict watch while his powers developed because of the assassination attempts. Regardless, the isolation, training, and exploitation he endured was severe enough for him to break out and run away multiple times. His attendance at Jujustu Tech in Tokyo was his first time being allowed to interact with others on his own terms rather than his Clan’s.

This means that until Gojo was 15, he likely never had friends. His interactions with other humans amounted to deification, a type of objectification where he was expected to be a tool to further other people’s comfort. Essentially, up until he met Geto, he only knew how to exist as a living weapon.

I don’t think I need to explain why this would negatively impact socialization. Anyone raised by extremely strict/abusive parents or a cult will tell you how difficult it is to try and interact with normal society after having social skills deliberately stunted for most of your life. This lack of socialization is only compounded by autism. Not only is a sheltered autistic person inclined to be socially unaware, they have no frame of reference to what is socially acceptable.

I’ll use myself as an example. The only reason I’m not completely unpalatable in conversation is because public school allowed me to observe what normal human interactions and mannerisms look like. Otherwise, I’d be like Mahito—learning about the world through the limited media I was allowed to consume. (And even then I still took it at face-value for a pretty long time.)

Gojo is sort of in the same situation as Mahito. His Clan reportedly spoiled him rotten, so he was probably allowed to have all the toys, TV, movies, books, and games he wanted between obligations. This means that it is very likely his ideas of the world at large come from media. And boy does it seem to have affected the way he is.

Trying to Connect with Others

Nanami directly compares Gojo to Mahito. Megumi straight up thinks Gojo and Yuji are the same kind of person as stated in CFYOW, JJK Summer of Ashes, Autumn of Dust Chapter 1: Kiyujitsu Kaisen.

So like Yuji and Mahito, Gojo will use media he’s familiar with to make sense of the world around him and hold conversations with others. (In the anime they have Gojo do the tornado kick which straight up appears to be him doing an in-verse reference to Code Geass's Suzaku Spin Kick aka the Spinzaku Kick. Please do not ask me how I recognized this.)

And would you look at that. Most people do Not know how to handle this. Not even Geto who is more visibly confused by his Digimon metaphor in the anime.

I can’t really blame them for their reactions either. Gojo is such a special combination of unfortunate circumstances and experiences that you might as well be listening to someone speak an unknown language.

This goes both ways too. Gojo himself has a very hard time understanding others and tends to take the words of others Very Literally. (Just like Yuji!) This leads to him experiencing the Double Empathy Gap the most when compared to other autistic characters.

The Geto stuff is the most tragic to me. Gojo checked in on him and Geto lied about his feelings. To Gojo, Geto is his best friend. Why would he lie to him? Geto says he’s ok so Gojo thinks he’s ok. (That’s not even getting into the higher ups overworking them both and keeping them separate on purpose.) His upbringing and his autism made it impossible for him to read between the lines, so Geto's betrayal very much comes out of nowhere for him.

The same happens with Shoko okaying the desecration of his corpse, Nanami calling him a pervert and everyone agreeing. Gojo truly believes that the people close to him see him in a very one-dimensional way and there’s nothing he can do about it. After all, he was raised to be a weapon and nothing more.

Funnily enough, Gojo’s Alexithymia is so bad that parts of the fandom have seemingly done the double empathy gap thing to him with respect to his flower metaphor.

“There was always a gulf between me and other people, even if they adored me. You can admire a flower and help it bloom…but you can’t ask it to understand you.”

To me, all Gojo is doing here is explaining his feelings as best he can. Floral language is a big thing in Buddhism which is probably why he makes the comparison. However…I’ve seen interpretations of this that conclude Gojo believes himself so far above others that they might as well be non-sentient plants. To them, this metaphor speaks to his arrogance rather than a clumsy/poetic attempt to communicate his feelings.

I’ll use myself as an example to explain why I think it’s just the autism in action. I often like animals way more than I do other people. Snakes, birds, lizards, spiders, and scorpions are amongst my favorites. Sometimes I compare people to these animals.

What I mean: I think highly of you! You share traits with my favorite animals and that makes me happy.

What others can hear: I think you’re stupid (lizard/bird brained), untrustworthy (a snake), and lesser than me (a bug/arachnid).

Now I could be projecting because I see my autistic traits in Gojo, but I do find it fascinating that how you view Gojo’s flower metaphor is highly dependent on how you feel about him.

Regardless, it does a great job at illustrating how isolated Gojo feels from others. Sometimes my autism makes me feel like I’m a completely different species because I can’t interact with people normally. And in Gojo's case, he can't even refer to himself as a human. The disconnect from others and his dehumanization is so strong he feels he can no longer identify as human.

No one’s autism is exactly the same, so this rift can even exist between autistic people. This is how you can get Yuji and Gojo bonding over their shared autistic traits but not fully understanding each other and feeling isolated for it.

But it’s still really sweet that they connect with movies so well that Gojo’s filmbroness rubs off on Yuji.

It’s also a little concerning that Gojo refers to these movies like a catalog for emotions. Like the proper way to experience emotions is through media and not in person.

The training Gojo subjects Yuji to with movies is likely how he was trained as a child. This suggests that for the first 15 years of his life, movies and other media might have been his only frame of reference for everything not Jujutsu Sorcery. And I mean Everything.

Combine this with The ‘Tism and this could possibly explain exactly what is wrong with Gojo Satoru. (You already know where I’m going with this.)

Gojo’s Racism

Here’s a list of movies for sure Gojo has watched. And for no reason in particular I’m going to include if they have a black person (like myself) in them.

Sourced from a Gege Interview.

Léon: The Professional (1994): Yes

The Descent (2005): No

The Host (2013): No

The Emperor's Naked Army Marches On (1987): No

Deep Blue Sea (1999): Yes

Extra movies from the anime. (Aka probably canon.)

Juggernaut (1974): No

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001): No

That's only 2 movies with black people in them. I went ahead and watched them to confirm my suspicions...

Léon: The Professional (1994)

Not much to say about the black characters here. From what I saw and the IMDb list, they're all men and they're all background characters. Also I couldn’t finish the film because of how creepy it is towards the 11 year old actress. (It's really bad. Like really, really bad. Traumatized the actress, Natalie Portman, kind of bad. Wish I had a content warning!)

Deep Blue Sea (1999)

Gojo wasn't lying, the heroine died spectacularly. However in terms of spoilers, he glossed over the actual twist death. There's also someone who dies by being bit in half by a shark. And the way those legs looked like Gojo's...

There are 2 black characters in this movie. One is a jovial goofball chef who somehow survives to the end. (Miguel calls this trope out specifically in JJK 255.) There are so many points in this movie where he should've died. His name is Preacher and he has a parrot that is a Red-Crowned Amazon by the way. The other is a rich investor played by Samuel L Jackson who does Not fall into the Scary Black Man trope for once. Preacher doesn't either, he's more of a Gentle Giant.

Both of them function in the film as a subversion of the Magical Negro trope. And after watching this movie, I think Gege was inspired to make Miguel Odol fill this role too.

Anyways, the takeaways from this are 1) Black people are underrepresented in media. 2) What is representing black people in popular media isn't all that varied.

This means if media is your only exposure to black people, those representations will be internalized if you're uncritical about it. (You're reading this on Tumblr I assume you believe racism is real.) It's unconscious most of the time. People usually don't actively go, "Wow black people are all like this!" What happens is they run into a black person irl, are reminded of their impressions via visual similarity, and then say or do some out of pocket nonsense. (I have personally experienced this at the hands of Japanese tourists.)

And what does Mr. Gojo Satoru say to Miguel first? He says Miguel looks like he’ll be trouble. Later he says Miguel's strength and build are because of his race and what makes him dangerous even though Gojo knows several Japanese men with similar physiques.

If he's never met a black man irl before...he must have gotten that idea from somewhere else. He does mention knowing the MMA star turned comedian Bobby Ologun (a big strong and goofy guy) when comparing him to Miguel.

Bobby Ologun is Nigerian. Miguel is Kenyan. Do you know how pissed East Africans get when lumped into the same category as West Africans and vice versa? (For the less informed please see Western Europe’s hatred of Slavs and other Eastern Europeans.)

But as far as Gojo knows from his media, black men are big, strong, and funny. The media he consumes also doesn’t bother to distinguish the different cultures of Africans. Dark Skin=Black and that’s it. And his dismissal of Miguel's distress over the loss of his rope only highlights that apathy towards individual cultures.

All this has terrible consequences for Miguel in the form of Benevolent Racism. This is where a prejudice that can be perceived as positive has negative outcomes for the target. Aka Gojo commits a racially motivated beatdown because of his ignorance that was fueled by the media he consumed growing up. (Miguel's Cursed Technique reminding Gojo of Toji not withstanding.)

Now I’m not saying autism makes you racist. It’s that Gojo’s isolation from the outside world, being raised by emotionally distant conservatives, and consuming media uncritically with his unique brand of autism creates the disaster that are the words coming out of his mouth.

Gojo being this kind of racist. Where he idolizes a type of strength in black people he learned from stereotypes in his movies, is great actually. I really like that Miguel calls it out and is sick of it. He even sarcastically tries to throw back the stereotypes about Japanese people to make his point too.

And guess who else only knows of black people through movies? Sukuna. He’s an art freak, there’s no way he didn’t watch some of those films Yuji was watching. And Miguel can smell it a mile away. Sukuna gives him that look and Miguel is already done with it. Honestly the way Miguel enforces his boundaries is great. He knows his limits both with risking his life and tolerating racism.

Anyways, Gojo Satoru has been running on 3 hours of sleep, sugar, and Reverse Cursed Energy like a madman for years. I don’t think he’s ever sat down and gone, “Huh? Why do I think the way I do? Why do I believe this?” Miguel is probably the first person to ever tell him, that’s racist my dude. (This is an explanation not an excuse btw.)

And that’s kind of the problem. Gojo is willing to learn and do better, but he hasn’t had the time do it on his own. Some outside force has to tell him bluntly, “Yo this isn’t socially acceptable.” (Think of how Geto influenced his morals and manners by telling Gojo exactly what he should do.)

This leads me to believe his mind is a hodgepodge of things he’s uncritically absorbed as a child and that has influenced his questionable beliefs/actions as an adult in ways he’s unable to recognize.

Gojo’s Other Problems

Outside of racism, Gojo’s most unpleasant traits include mild sexism and child endangerment. The sexism comes from how he speaks to Utahime and how treats Shoko compared to Geto. Though he otherwise does not outwardly discriminate against them, it is sus that he sees Rika, a girl transformed into a cursed spirit, and goes "Dang, women are scary." (The child endangerment is self-evident.)

For some reason, Gojo truly believes for some reason that the woman (Shoko) in his life isn’t emotionally capable of being on the same level with him as a man (Geto). This could just be a strength-based thing since Geto told him that’s why they can’t be together anymore. It’s really hard to tell. But if it really is a sexism thing, media in general being misogynistic could explain it. (On top of being raised by a traditionalist family in a society that is very sexist.)

Well-rounded female characters whose complex emotions and inner lives are explored in depth can be very hard to come by, especially in popular media. (If you want media that primarily focuses on female characters GO READ UMINEKO NOW.) A lot of the movies and manga Gojo consumes treat women as love interests first and people second. And since you’re reading this on Tumblr, you’ve probably seen posts that complain about this and how this feeds into irl interactions.

This idea comes into play with Utahime in a different way. Gojo doesn’t understand that Utahime actually hates him. This is a bit odd given that he usually takes people’s hostility towards him to heart. But a place where he could get the idea that her anger is secretly affection is…the tsundere archetype in the mangas he’s so fond of. (Gojo reads a lot of Shonen Jump, it’s no wonder he has negative rizz with women after they get past his good looks.)

Yuji does it, Todo does it, Mahito does it—they use the media they’ve consumed as a baseline for sorcery. They’re the best at what they do for it. There’s no way Gojo isn’t doing the exact same thing, especially when he’s teaching his students. He tries to fit the quirky mentor archetype who uses tough love to guide his students. (His blindfold might be an actual in-verse Kakashi Naruto reference.) And he falls into faulty logic where everything will work out if he leaves it all to his students which fulfills most Shonen story beats.

The stunt with Megumi that kickstarted this series is a 2-for-1 special. Gojo eating sweets is needed to maintain his technique. Him eating them is acting as a responsible adult. However, getting them several hundred kilometers away from his student who is in a dangerous situation is irresponsible. It may speak to how much he trusts Megumi to handle things on his own, but as an adult in charge of a child? This is very poor judgement on Gojo's end.

I also understand that Gojo's upbringing and Japan's culture (aka it's generally safe for a child to be outside alone) is probably why he's so comfortable leaving a roughed up looking child by herself. But like...he should've called someone for Hana. Maybe he did later? (Another case of is this Gege underdeveloping Hana/Tsumiki or is Gojo truly that careless towards little girls...)

Shonen is pretty notorious for uncritically putting children in situations. It probably doesn’t help that Gojo’s own family was violating multiple Japanese labor laws when putting him to work as a kid. I’m not joking about that either.

Per The Constitution of Japan (May 3, 1947) Chapter III Article 27 Paragraph 3:

“Children shall not be exploited.”

What constitutes child labor exploitation are outlined in Japan’s Labor Standards Act (LSA) or Act No. 49 of April 7, 1947.

Per LSA Chapter IV Article 56 Paragraph 2:

“…an employer may employ a child of at least 13 years of age in an occupation…which involves light labor that is not injurious to the child's health and welfare…”

Additional protections for workers are outlined in Japan’s equivalent of OSHA, aka the Industrial Safety and Health Act (ISHA) or Act No. 57 of June 8, 1972.

Per ISHA Chapter VII-2 Article 71-2:

“An employer must endeavor to create a comfortable work environment in order to improve the level of safety and health in the workplace by continuously and systematically taking measures as follows:

measures to manage the maintenance of a comfortable work environment;

measures to improve work methods for work in which workers engage;

providing and streamlining facilities and equipment for workers to recover from fatigue suffered in the course of their work;

the necessary measures to create a comfortable work environment, beyond as set forth in the preceding three items.”

I think it’s safe to say that Gojo not including any of his Clan members in his afterlife scene and being so overworked that he doesn't have hobbies or think much outside of sorcery is proof of this exploitation. Gojo’s self-reported best years of his life were high school and those were still exploitative as hell. The man is a walking and talking human rights violation.

The only time we see child Gojo is from the perspective of assassins staking him out. Gojo himself never willingly recalls his childhood, only his teenage years. He looks so serious and miserable compared to his older self too. (It kind of reminds me of how I was a very quiet, obedient child that blossomed into the yappy evil creature I am now thanks to obtaining legal rights and freedom as an adult.)

This exploitation of children at the hands of adults in Jujutsu Society is normalized in and outside of fiction in their universe. Gojo can tell something is wrong with how he was treated and doesn’t want his students to hurt for it. But he can’t recognize that child labor in or itself is bad, so his solution is to make them strong enough to stand up for themselves. (Aka trying to make a labor union without knowing what a union is. Still breaking child labor laws though.)

Might makes right is a Shonen staple (please see Dragon Ball Z or Baki the Grappler). And though taking that idea to heart seems to be the most of Gojo’s problems as a teacher, there’s an additional issue this genre has—neglecting emotional development and care for the most part.

Characters in Shonen or action movies will go through extremely traumatic events and have little to no reaction to them. (PTSD who? Unless you're goated like Steven Universe Future or Vinland Saga.) It can give people a false sense of invincibility. They also rarely ever discuss the steps that can be taken to handle these emotions. You’ll see characters have panic attacks but rarely how to coax someone out of it. Heartbreak is rampant, but the solutions are to never let go and let it consume you, never how to move on or mourn. (If outright ignoring it like nothing happened isn’t what occurs.)

You can see these kinds of ideas with Geto. A second love is not possible for Gojo. He was his one and only and will always be his one and only. That’s the type of romanticism that has always been in his media.

If Gojo has relied on media to teach him how to feel out his emotions, effectively and healthily coping with grief and breakups is pretty hard to find. Most of the time when media handles those topics directly, it does so in a way that promotes reflecting on your own experiences instead of instructing you how to deal with it. Something Gojo didn’t really have time for.

In the light novels Gojo greatly laments his own inability to deal with grief. He wants his students to learn how to do that effectively and even employs outside help with this.

The result of all this is a really overworked weird guy that feels like there’s no way to process his emotions. He puts on a mask when he talks to others and still winds up alienating himself. He’s tolerated for his labor and dehumanized for what makes him good at it. This is all extremely autistic.

Exploiting Autistic Labor

I want to emphasize again, not all autistic people have these traits. The best sorcerers just happen to all have these traits in common.

Hyperfixating on the task at hand without rest.

Not having a typical reaction to dangerous situations.

Taking words at face-value.

Disconnect from emotions and other people.

Unique perspective for problem solving.

These are all things that make for the ideal worker. Autistic people are often compared to machines for their behaviors and what is better for the capitalist than a person that behaves like a machine?

But autistic people are not machines. They’re humans with flaws subject to burnout, emotional dysregulation, meltdowns, off-putting behavior, and isolation.

Jujutsu Society has no incentive to help with these things, especially the emotional dysregulation or isolation. In fact, it encourages this outcome because isolated people are easier to manipulate and exploit. But this also results in the friction these characters have in their relationships.

It’s a situation where they try to have their cake and eat it too. Everyone loves when Gojo is a Jujutsu Pervert in battle. They make him do everything for it. But the second he starts being weird outside of work, they want nothing to do with him. Or they’ll even insult him for the very traits they’re more than happy to use him for. (It’s exactly like Todo. Everyone depends on his battle intuition and reliability. And that all stems directly from his special interest Takada that no one wants to hear about.)

This creates a very uncomfortable dynamic where Gojo is seemingly bears the burden for everyone and everything while the people he’s servicing refuse to acknowledge it. He’s like some kind of public emotional punching bag or hatesink for other characters because they think he can take it as The Strongest. I don’t know if this is because of the autism, but it is scarily similar to how myself and my other autistic friends get treated by others irl. I think this is why I had such a visceral reaction to JJK 269. I too have experienced allistic people exploiting my labor and then acting like I’ve never done anything for them.

And speaking of JJK 269…Kusakabe has always been that kind of dickhole. He’s been in favor of Yuji’s execution since the start. But that’s not what makes him so aggravating. It’s that he’s too cowardly to do it himself. He once again, pushes the burden onto Gojo. He’s not going to be the child killer even though he wants this child dead, that’s Gojo’s job. Gojo is the tool he and everyone else uses to do the things they don’t like.

This includes the teaching Kusakabe thinks Gojo is bad at. Per that one flashback, Gojo had to instruct Yuta more because Kusakabe didn't do an adequate job. Gojo had to send Yuta to Kenya to be trained by Miguel because neither of them were doing enough for Yuta. Gojo recognized his own limits and enlisted help. Kusakabe projected his own shortcomings onto Gojo and waited for everyone else to find a solution for him.

I also want to remind everyone that Kusakabe is wrong about Yuji needing to be executed. Yuji and Sukuna were Kenjaku’s backup plan. Kenjaku would’ve sealed Gojo and started the Merger anyways. In fact, Gojo, Yuji, and Sukuna are the only reason Kenjaku didn’t win. Plus the remaining Sukuna fingers were getting stronger All By Themselves. This means that Kusakabe would just be kicking the can down the road and making it a problem for the younger generation. Gojo was the only adult with enough foresight to do something that would solve the problem.

We’ve also got Ui Ui calling himself the MVP of the Sukuna fight while failing to acknowledge the only reason he could warp in and out without dying was Gojo exhausting Sukuna in the first place. Gojo’s contributions seemingly don’t count because he’s not a person. He’s a tool they used. So all his labor counts as theirs instead.

And because he’s dead, Yuta really is the new Gojo. Please see how Yuta was treated before and after Gojo’s death side by side.

(I can’t tell if this is character assassination or the point. But the only person here allowed to criticize Yuta is Todo as far as I’m concerned.)

Yuta is their new Strongest hatesink who happens to be autistic as hell. And yes, Yuta’s autism is second to Gojo Satoru’s.

(Yuta's leans much more into socially unaware straightforwardness and taking things literally. He doesn't have a special interest or infodumps at people and I think that's neat.)

Everyone grills into Yuta so hard over his plans for the Sukuna battle that he experiences the quintessential autistic experience as described by Twitter User PenGwenWithLC:

"The autistic trait that bites me in the ass most frequently is my impenetrable belief that if I show people the truth they will believe me."

Mind you, Yuta is the main reason they won after Gojo died. This boy had Back Up Plans A through Z and they worked. The only person who had valid input on his planning was…Gojo (and possibly Todo). The finger resonance with Nobara was Gojo’s idea (JJK 267 Pgs 4-5...Also let's talk about how if Gojo wasn't a hopeless romantic and scheduled this fight a day or even an hour later, he might have lived based on Nobara's wake up time.). Once again, these are all autistic characters using their unique ways of thinking to solve problems others are too cowardly to address.

And then these same people turn around and disparage them without acknowledging their efforts or emotions. Sure you can call it lashing out because they secretly care about them. (Aka tsundere behavior.) But both Yuta and Gojo take other people’s words at face value. They don’t understand that this is a very fudged up display of affection and internalize it. Gojo died convinced everyone except maybe 3 people hated him and even in death he couldn’t escape it.

This is also why Gojo leaving Yuta in Miguel’s care was a good thing. Miguel seems to be the sole person in this series who knows how to avoid labor exploitation. Nanami may see work as nonsense and have an overtime mechanic, but Miguel simply does not work overtime. He sets his boundaries and sticks to them.

It’s very ironic that Yuta took flack for respecting the boundaries of a black man that refused to be exploited by the very people that would treat him poorly.

How to Not Exploit Autistic Labor

CW: Discussion of Suicide

The last time I examined the tragedy of Gojo Satoru I wanted him to live and be loved. But I’m not sure if I want that now. It doesn’t really seem like the systemic issues that caused his exploitation have been addressed, and the people he’s helped refuse to acknowledge they are standing on the shoulders of giants. Him becoming suicidal over this exploitation and choosing death because he saw no end to this is a particularly harsh reflection of what happens in reality.

Yuji notices that Gojo is acting out of character during his final talk with him. The arrogant, self-aggrandizing chipper he's used to has been replaced with this timid optimism. Gojo tells Yuji and everyone else to forget about him because he's confident they'll be living longer than him. Before this, previous chapters have shown that Gojo went around apologizing to others and preparing letters in the advent of his death. These are all warning signs associated with an imminent suicide attempt.

When Gojo tells Yuji this is confidence he's never had before, it seems like he means both his plans to go through with dying and that everyone really will be fine and better off without him.

Gojo also makes sure Yuji doesn't catch on to this. (Probably why he didn't do the soul swap too.) Even with his suicide, he's doing his best to make sure it doesn't negatively impact anyone. His final letters to Megumi and Nobara being so unserious is another attempt to make sure their hearts don't break. ...And nobody he devoted himself to in life or death noticed.

This rather bleak ending for Gojo does have a purpose I think. It’s an example of how hypercapitalist work culture doesn’t value your life. You can bend over backwards and put your all into work, but in the end, you’re just another cog to be used. Gojo’s dehumanization was inevitable under this system. This man was born to be used as a tool and discarded once he served his purpose. And because he’s not a person, people get really mad when he does anything outside of what benefits them directly. Since to them, it’s like a machine malfunctioning.

It’s unlikely these people will ever mourn him properly, let alone even acknowledge his efforts (outside of Yuji and Yuta that is). His closest “friends” in death thought of him as a self-serving pervert you know. (Once again, not sure if that’s character assassination or showcasing what Jujutsu Society does to people, but wow does it suck to see.)

But you know who did acknowledge Gojo as a human who did his damned best and is worth remembering? Sukuna.

Sukuna stopped the whole battle to lavish praise on Gojo and mourn him. He’s done that for everyone who has put up a decent fight against him. The other sorcerers? They do no such thing, even after the battle.

And you know who takes the time to cherish and mourn his comrades no matter what? Jogo.

I excluded Mahito from the autistic labor exploitation discussion for good reason. The natural disaster curses treat Mahito better than most humans have ever treated Gojo. Jogo doesn’t exploit Mahito’s autism, he embraces it. And despite their weird behaviors and beliefs stressing him out most of the time, Jogo does nothing to stop Mahito from being themself. He expresses his distaste, sure, but Jojo otherwise acknowledges those traits are what makes Mahito good for their cause. Mahito is his equal, not a tool.

Jogo doesn’t tell Mahito what to do or feel. He rolls with their shenanigans while wearing his heart on his sleeve. He takes time to mourn his comrades no matter how dire the situation. He acts with their interests in mind at all times—even in death his first concerns are his comrades.

Even though Mahito is alive, Jogo worries for them while still having faith in their abilities. He looks forward to seeing Mahito again via reincarnation. I cannot say the same of Gojo’s allies.

I’m not really sure how to end this discussion since I’m continuing it in another part. But if there’s anything you take away form this incomplete analysis, please let it be this one thing:

Jogo is best girl.

#cactus yaps #This has been my Labor Violations Kaisen.#Even with the blegh ending you can still get an anti-capitalist reading out of JJK.#And with how Gege’s colleagues compare him to Gojo…#Perhaps the cruel treatment of Gojo is how Gege feels about the industry and fans chewing him up and spitting him out without recognition.#The ending sucking is obviously because of health issues and predatory contracts. But people are just saying Gege is a bad writer period.#I don’t think it’s fair to Gege to say all of JJK was bad. This was his first manga. He did a pretty good job all things considered.#Especially because of those interviews. Doing the last arc from the hospital is crazy.#Labor violations both in the manga and for the mangaka.#Wait this is supposed to be about autism.#<-My autism making me lose the plot via hyperfixating on workers' rights. Lmao. Lol even.#You know another piece of media that is great (imo) at exploring systemic exploitation of neurodivergent people?#Joker (2019) and Joker: Folie à Deux (2024).#Both of these movies are good and were never for the incels.#The people who really hate the sequel didn’t understand that the first movie was about systemic injustices against the mentally ill.#The sequel just makes that theme very obvious. And the blunt depiction of how that systemic abuses plays out is not for everyone.#Fudge not sure if that is about autism either but I promise I’m Not a filmbro.#I don’t have a Letterbox. One of my top 4 is Freddy Got Fingered.#Will be discussing Yuki Tengen Kenjaku Takaba and Sukuna’s autism in the next part.#mahito #todo aoi #itadori yuji #gojo satoru #jujutsu kaisen #jjk spoilers #jjk meta

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jelsah27 · 1 year ago

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imposter syndrome talked ab just some forewarning

In History Class

MC: *walks into class with a small smile on their face*

Deuce: Good morning, MC. You seem happy today.

Ace: Yeah what's got you all smiley?

MC: Well, Kalim and Jamil were at my dorm the other day. Kalim really wanted to know about foods from my world and Jamil tagged along for obvious reasons. At on point Kalim wanted to look at my room and he found my snap-out-of-it post-it notes on the wall.

Deuce: Snap-out-of-it post-it notes?

MC: Oh, yeah they help remind me that a lot of the problems I think I have aren't really as problematic as I think. Like "Every personality is a creation of experiences that make you you." or "My friends like me because I am me". You see a while ago I figured out that I have a bit of Imposter Syndrome.

Ace: A bit of what?

MC: Well, it's pretty much I feel like I'm not the person everyone thinks I am. I'm not the gifted child everyone remembers or the smart person everyone seems to think I am. That if I can't hurry up and live up to everyone's expectations that they'll figure out I'm not as great a person they think I am and be disappointed and angry that all I am is an empty shell of who they believed I was and leave. Some times it will also come in the form of believing that my friends only want to be around me out of pity or that if I don't like what they like or want to do the same things as them then they will leave, even if they've reassured me they love me. I think the worst thoughts I ever got from it was when I started to believe that my personality was fake and that I didn't know why I was so different than the kid everyone liked. I started to believe that I had faked my personality from different shows, books, or even people to even have one.

MC: Honestly I didn't even realize it was imposter syndrome till someone else pointed it out to me after telling them this. I genuinely had no clue I was so disgusted with myself till I was talking with them about it and they pointed out that none of what I was saying was true, that everybody knew who I was and loved me as I am. I think I cried when they told me that.

Deuce: Prefect... I had no idea...

MC: It's alright, I've been learning to get better at combating it. Anyway, Kalim asked me about it and I basically told him and Jamil what I just told you. He then asked me what I'm doing to overcome it. So I told him about the main things that have helped. Reminding myself constantly that I am not fake or hiding who I am from people I love and who love me. Whenever I feel negative thoughts try to take over, think about one positive thing that I have done or something someone had said they love about me for every dark thought. If it gets to bad though, go to someone I trust and ask them flat out about those thoughts, it helps a lot. And twice a week I make a post-it or journal about one or two small things. Maybe a compliment someone gave me, or a task I completed. So every day or so since they've-

Jamil: *walks into the room* Prefect, here. I must get to class before Kalim catches something on fire I mean gets into trouble. Have a good day.*hands MC a small note and leaves the classroom*

MC: *smiling contently* It say 'Thank you for helping Kalim study yesterday great sevens know he needed it and your smile is unique'

Deuce: *getting out paper* If it helps you, I'll gladly join in.

Little bit of a rant u can skip I hope you enjoyed the post <3 Y'all I'm sorry I didn't mean to trauma dump but I really like the idea. But the story is true and I did cry (and it was in a restaurant) when my sis told me I was wrong and she knew who I really and she loves me. That our friends won't leave because all humans have opinions and we are allowed to clash. And that my personality isn't fake, that everyone's personality is what they've created themselves and that people add and take away from themselves all the time and work on parts of themselves they don't like to become better. That my brain was just being dark when there was many lights around me, waiting to be recognized. If any of y'all read this its just one side of imposter syndrome, there are a few versions and many levels of severity. I genuinely think you are awesome and perfectly imperfect the way you are!

Anywho thanks for reading!

#twst mc #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #disney twst #twst imagines #disney twisted wonderland #ace trappola #deuce spade #kalim x reader #twst kalim #kalim al asim #twst jamil #jamil viper #imposter syndrome #jamil x reader #twst duece #deuce x reader

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chaosk1ng · 5 months ago

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So I love New Vegas and would love to see the Courier in different worlds. The thing is that I have specific things I enjoy with crossovers and things I don’t enjoy. One of the ones it would be cool to see the Courier in is Mass Effect and I’m gonna say it here, I don’t like Mass Effect. The dialogue physically hurts me at times, especially the romance dialogues. I went for Garrus because I was told to romance someone and I thought his design was cool, another factor was the fact he was a sniper. The only thing I liked about Mass Effect was Legion who sadly died in the third game for me. How was I supposed to know that Tali dying on the suicide mission would result in his death no matter what?

Anyway, the point is that the world and concept of Mass Effect is cool but I didn’t enjoy the game besides a few mechanics.

Moving on, there’s not a lot of FNV x ME fics out there and even less with things I enjoy so imma talk about some ideas.

The best and most used way for the Courier to be transported to another world/universe is with the Transportalponder from Big Mt. It could also be because people like Cerberus did an experiment that resulted with something similar to the device that accidentally brought the Courier there. He could be teleported either to the location they used the device or somewhere else which would lead to them abandoning the project seeming as it didn’t work from what they could tell. This could also be used to bring others from NV to ME since they would likely try multiple times if it doesn’t work.

One thing I never see are ones where it’s not just the Courier running around. I wanna see how someone like Joshua or Ulysses interact with this new world. This is also an excuse for me to see different factions bring their problems to a new world. Someone like Caesar or Father Elijah recreate their factions for their own benefit and add more problems to the universe.

I can see Mr House still being stuck in the Lucky 38 and having control of the strip but also having part of his consciousness in this new universe and taking as much control as possible. He would likely recreate RobCo and something like New Vegas, maybe take control of that little area in the Citadel DLC for the third game. Point is that people like Mr House who have intimate knowledge of monopoly or people like Caesar who have the charisma and intimidation to get people to follow him would cause chaos. There’s no way that someone like Caesar who indoctrinated people from groups and settlements that he himself destroyed with the Legion couldn’t pull it off in space. The Brotherhood of Steel would be estatice about all the new and unique tech but would pretty much stay the same. They would probably be seen as terrorists like Cerberus with their racism towards anything that isn’t human and how they take any tech they can find from anyone who has any.

This would take place before the final fight for the Hoover Dam so not only would there be the Courier who is already a legend of sorts in the Mojave in Mass Effect but so are other Factions. There could be some of the companions that get brought there too. Usually Courier is either by himself or has ED-E with him but he could also have someone like Boone (one of my favorite companions) who he can partner with anytime or someone like Christine (another one of my favorites) that he only got to work with for a little before they parted ways for good. They could do their own thing around the Galaxy and do what they feel is right. I can see Boone trying to take down things like the prison that Jack is at in the beginning of Mass Effect 2 since the prisoners are sold like what happened with his wife. I can see Arcade continuing the work of the Followers and treating it like a new settlement for them and putting up a clinic or helping with the genophage cure after learning about the Krogan. He would probably get along with Motrin if they met.

Everyone would be confused as to who these new players are and the fact they have little to no information about them besides the fact that some are human. If someone like Raul and or Lily was brought then they would have a bigger target on their back since no one has seen anyone like them since Ghouls and Nightkin don’t exist, the closest thing being the husks. Depending on how far into the series they are summoned at will affect how they are treated.

With the Dead Space x Mandalorian crossover I ended up shipping Isaac and Din but I prefer to stay away from any type of romance when it comes to crossovers regardless of if they’re in the same universe or not. I’m okay with canon romances but only if they’re kinda like a footnote and not a big part of the plot. So things like EDI and Joker are okay but only mentioned a little.

The Courier doesn’t have to be a companion for Shepard but could appear every once in a while by accident. The two of them working together would be ideal for Courier to get home with the Cerberus plot but not really needed. Courier would likely know how to handle something like this on his own, it ain’t exactly his first rodeo. With Cerberus being him here, he would likely find out one what or another and start hunting them down. The tech they would use shouldn’t belong to any in the eyes of the Courier since he has seen what people do with power and fear what would happen if they bring more people from the Wasteland.

Courier and Shepard wouldn’t get along at first. I see Shepard as paragon and would be seen as naive by the Courier who has seen all kinds of corruption and sees that people like the councils won’t change and see what’s in front of them. Eventually the two would respect each other, Shepard wouldn’t completely agree with what Courier does but would somewhat understand where he’s coming from.

Also imma say this right now, I see it as John being Shepard and will throw hands if I see another crossover with the focus on Shepard being him getting with Tali, Liara or Miranda. I’m okay with Shepard being female but I don’t like romance so no shipping her with Garrus, flirting with him had me leaving the game for hours before coming back to try to get through the rest of the dialogue. Yes, Shepard can probably get with anyone but it feels forced in the games for me, like it was required to end up with someone. Same thing with Courier, I can’t ever see him getting with anyone despite me thinking he could probably pull anyone and not make me extremely uncomfortable since you never actually hear Courier speak.

I can’t see Courier giving away any of his weapons and just taking them whenever he sees them but the image of him letting someone borrow something is hilarious since not only are they old looking but seem like they are impossibly held together with a bunch of scrape. Them witnessing fallout mechanics would be hilarious.

Just “hey can I borrow something from you?”

“Yeah sure, just don’t question where I get it from.”

That or something like bloody mess, “there’s a hostile pinning us from above!”

“No there’s not”

“DID THEY JUST FUCKING EXPLODE?!”

Yeah, the wasteland would bring chaos to the universe and Courier would just tag along for the ride. All he wanted to do was do his job and deliver a package but nooo a dude in a checkered pattern suit shot him in the head and made it everyone’s problem, even in a new universe where the bombs didn’t fall. Also I want to see Courier get kicked out of more Casinos since it’s funny to imagine him being banned from every casino he has ever been in. Imagine the Courier in the Citadel DLC, it’s just Shepard looking as he stands there.

“I thought you would be gambling, your always saying you would spend all your time here if you saw one.”

“I got kicked out.”

“Of which one?”

“All of them.”

“Wait what? We’ve barely been here for like half a day.”

“I kept winning until they kicked me out of all of the casinos.”

“I’m sorry what?”

“You're not getting any of my winnings.”

I’ll probably expand on this thought later but seeing Courier Six bringing chaos to other worlds is beautiful to imagine.

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bakuhatsufallinlove · 2 years ago

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Somebody asked about my perspective on the bullying aspect of bkdk, so.

I want to talk for a minute about bullying in Japan. I mentioned in this post that Japanese people are generally socialized to avoid direct confrontation. This means people may not intervene in bullying or public mistreatment; there is also an element of social shame in being singled out. A teacher or concerned adult interfering with bullying may end up making things worse for the bullied child, because now, the child is a victim, separate from everyone else in the class, and they may end up being shunned by their peers (ostracization is also a common form of bullying).

Peers may also fear retribution for objecting. You see this in English-speaking countries as well, where a bullied child being defended makes them and any peer who objects a “weakling,” a “kiss-up,” “tattle-tale,” “teacher’s pet.” In fact, often a whole group gangs up on the victim and participates in bullying. We see this in the very first chapter of MHA, Katsuki mocks Izuku for wanting to take the U.A. entrance exam, and the entire classroom laughs and sneers at him.

Additionally, sometimes the non-confrontational approach and no-singling out incentive also mean that everyone in class just kind of pretends that the bullied child is “In on the joke,” and they laugh along or do not object. Onlookers may view the mistreatment as a private issue between the bully and the bullied that they must resolve on their own.

No culture has a solution for bullying. We all use our cultural context and our personal beliefs to discern how to respond, and this often manifests in unhealthy ways. In the US, a young boy protagonist being bullied in school and “learning to fight back” is an extremely common narrative. The lesson from American culture is that we must defend ourselves, even with violence—that learning to hurt other people is necessary and part of “becoming a man.” In Japan, a collectivist culture, the lesson might be closer to “don’t stand out and don’t bother others.”

I highly recommend everyone read this article about ijime in Japan.

Note the statistic that two thirds of all Japanese children report being bullied. Simultaneously, nearly half (46.9%) report having both been bullied and also bullying others. MHA takes place in a fictional Japan, but it is worth knowing that this is how things are in the real-world society MHA is published in. Suicides related to bullying are a prominent topic and the Japanese Ministry of Education has been trying to reduce bullying rates for years. Bullying is understood as a serious problem, but it is also known to be very common, something many people both experience and perpetuate.

Now, let’s talk about how Izuku personally feels about the way Katsuki treated him.

Izuku has an extremely strong sense of self. He is a determined, stubborn person, and we know this to be true even before he gets OFA: despite the entire world telling him he cannot be a Hero because he is Quirkless, he still plans to enroll in the Hero Course at U.A., even before he meets All Might. Since nearly all villains are going to have Quirks, this is… a horrifyingly dangerous path to walk, but Izuku does not care and is not dissuaded. Katsuki says that Izuku has always been self-sacrificing and not taken his own safety into account—this comment and the river memory suggest to me that this trait is unique to Izuku as a person and his own convictions, so I don’t think it is the result of Katsuki bullying him.

Izuku also sees Katsuki and his actions clearly. He doesn’t hesitate to describe Katsuki as an awful guy (嫌なやつ, iyana yatsu, you could even translate this as “asshole”); he notes Katsuki’s terrible qualities and his continued path down the road to being “bad.” In Japanese, he insults Katsuki several times with バカ野郎 (baka yarou, stupid jerk). Izuku has never been in denial about what Katsuki is like.

Izuku says during Deku vs. Kacchan 2 that normally, nobody would hang around a person who insults them all the time. He acknowledges all the bad parts of Katsuki, but then insists that Katsuki’s brilliance, his amazingness, is even stronger. Izuku sees all these incredible things about Katsuki more than he sees his terribleness.

Izuku has known Katsuki since they were little, since before Katsuki’s Quirk manifested. Katsuki was a cocky kid who liked to show-off, but he was not a bully until he manifested his Quirk and was suddenly exalted for his “incredible power,” while also developing his whole inferiority complex about Izuku being “better” than him. Izuku knows Katsuki has good inside him and that being an arrogant bully is not all there is to Katsuki, because he has seen it firsthand.

In my opinion, if Katsuki’s behavior is viewed by outsiders as a private issue between the two of them, then Izuku himself views it as Katsuki’s issue, not his own. “This is just how Kacchan acts.” Izuku is definitely hurt by Katsuki’s cruelty, but I do not believe that he internalizes this as a reflection on himself necessarily. I think Izuku has felt hurt and angered by Katsuki’s behavior because he hates that this special person he admires and cares about so much could stoop that low. We see this in chapter 62 when Izuku punches Katsuki for saying he’d rather lose than accept Izuku’s help—Izuku isn’t offended by the put-down, he is furious that his image of victory could be so petty that he would accept defeat.

Izuku had already forgiven Katsuki before chapter 322. I think Izuku never expected an apology, and in his own head, he didn’t really need one, because all he wants is to be able to stand next to Katsuki. Izuku wants to be the number one hero, so he does want to surpass his image of victory, but… he also just really wants to be with Katsuki. He wants to talk with him and spend time with him, he wants to fight by his side and see him be amazing up-close and personal. Because Izuku loves Katsuki. He just does. Whether you view it as platonic or romantic, it is pretty hard to say that the depth of emotion Izuku feels for Katsuki isn’t love.

For better or worse, as human beings we tend to forgive the people we love for things we would never accept from anyone else. We give the people we love second chances, and we see the best in them even when it is hard to, when no one else can. Izuku knows Katsuki has done unacceptable things, but he still sees Kacchan in there, and that matters more to him.

Both Horikoshi and Katsuki’s voice actor, Okamoto Nobuhiko, have repeatedly said that Katsuki was terrible and unlikable early in the series because of how he treated others, particularly Izuku, and that he is only became likable because of his humanity. Because he changes, matures, and tries to redeem himself. Horikoshi directly said that despite Katsuki’s character having improved, he still needs to apologize to Izuku, and in chapter 322, this is what we get.

That Izuku does not hold a grudge against Katsuki is precisely what makes Katsuki’s redemption so meaningful. The impetus behind Katsuki’s atonement is his own conscience. Sometimes, people forgive us even when they probably shouldn’t. They give us a second chance, even when we probably didn’t deserve one. Katsuki knows Izuku doesn’t resent him, but he wants to do right by Izuku, and that means being a better person, being there when Izuku needs him, protecting Izuku when no one else will. It means admitting what he has done and truly apologizing for it.

I wanted to talk about the severity and frequency of bullying in Japan not to downplay Katsuki’s actions, but to emphasize that this is both a societal issue and a personal one. If people believe that Katsuki can never atone for the cruel things he did as a little kid and a middle schooler, if you think he will never be anything but a bully, then… half of the population of Japan is also irredeemable. How are young people in Japan supposed to feel if the moral of Katsuki’s story is “once a bully, always a bully”?

If we can’t see value in the redemption of a fictional character from a story about prejudice and social inequality, how can we forgive real people for their mistakes? Nobody has to like Bakugou Katsuki as a character, but I do find the way his story is talked about pretty troubling.

MHA is fundamentally about discrimination and social strife: Who is a villain? Who is a hero? When the world treats us a certain way, are we to blame for how we react? Do you turn a blind eye to people who are inconvenient to you, who you think don’t belong in society, who seem irredeemable? How can we even begin to change a world like this?

Izuku says repeatedly that having done wrong does not mean you can never be good again. Atonement is not denial of wrongdoing; it is the resolve to make restitution and do right by others. This is why Katsuki’s story is important, and why his bond with Izuku is both well-written and genuinely beautiful.

#bkdk #bakudeku #mha spoilers #bnha spoilers #meta

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princessofmerchants · 10 months ago

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Nesta and the Cauldron 💫 - a list of questions and puzzle pieces post-HOFAS

"... Wrapped in black eternity, Nesta and the Cauldron twined, burning through the darkness like a newborn star."

—from "Beginning," the prologue of A Court of Silver Flames

(HOFAS spoilers after the break)

I began rereading ACOSF post-HOFAS and boy was I shocked and delighted by what I found in the very first scene of the book, which is also one of my favorite scenes in all of SJM canon...

Here's a screenshot of the last part of the prologue to ACOSF, called "Beginning".

After reading HOFAS, and learning what we did from the Starborn Princess Silene, along with the events of that book as well as those in ACOSF and going all the way back to ACOMAF,

I have new questions!

What could it mean that Nesta and Elain, both humans, were submerged in the Cauldron in the same way the magical objects of the Fae like Gwydion, Truthteller, and the Dread Trove items were? Does the fact that they were alive themselves first, and human at that, make a difference? (We know from the Blood Rite magic that Nesta is not recognized as a Made magical object in the Rite because her magic is suppressed like everyone else's...)

Was the Cauldron in Hybern different (more corrupt, perhaps from Fionn's death and his potential link to the health of the world in which Prythian resides), than it was when it Made Gwydion, Truthteller, and the Trove items? Or was its corruption (wrongness) the same kind that originates from the Daglan poisoning it before Gwydion and the Trove were Made?

When Nesta stole a large portion of the Cauldron's "raw power," was there more to the power besides its connection to Death, that somehow ties in to either the Starborn power that originates and thrives in the island of the Prison, or perhaps instead to the ancient Fae power that predates the seasonal and solar elemental power affinities that evolved after the time of High King Fionn? Is it similar or different to the way the Starsword/Gwydion and its imbued Made power has an affinity for the Staborn line of Fae?

We know at the end of ACOSF and from HOFAS that the Mother prevents all of Nesta's stolen power from leaving her when she bargains with the Cauldron and the Mother to save Feyre - and here in the ACOSF prologue Nesta and the Cauldron together are described as a newborn star. In being Made by the Cauldron, then first stealing its power but later being gifted back with some of it by the Mother - is there a connection or affinity here also to the power of the land on which the Prison sits that was forged through this process?

Regarding Nesta's bargain tattoo, which was an eight pointed star, the symbol of the Starborn power and its people - is the Mother (Urd in Midgardian parlance) the source of bargain magic in Prythian? As Bryce asks to Nesta - Why was Nesta's bargain tattoo with Cassian an eight pointed star? And also, why do the Illyrians (who were created by the Daglan but led by their ancester Enalius in alliance with the Fae in defeating those same Daglan) have a sword technique and sequence that takes this shape too? And what do any of these details have to do with 1) Gwydion and its Making in the Cauldron, and/or 2) Nesta and HER Making in the Cauldron?

And don't think I've forgotten about Elain - the longtime question of What happened when she went in the Cauldron? remains but with the added layer of how her own experience in the Cauldron and its gifting of Seer powers may or may not be similar or different to not only how the ancient Fae Made objects were imbued with power but also how her sister Nesta was imbued with (that same?) power?

Put differently, is this newborn star imagery (experience?) of Nesta and the Cauldron unique to Nesta because of the amount (and kind) of raw power she took, or is it shared among all humans who have been immersed in the Cauldron (of which we know of three - Nesta, Elain, and Briallyn, though Briallyn is now Unmade - and Jurian we can assume was brought back using the Cauldron with his eye but from what we can tell he has come back human and not Fae, and so we can presume while he was brought back from a terrible half existence, he wasn't Made, at least we have no evidence he has been...)

I'm just really, really interested in the following puzzle pieces:

-Gwydion, Truthteller, and the Trove were Made in the Cauldron

-Nesta and Elain were also Made in the Cauldron, but when Nesta was made she stole raw power from the essence of the Cauldron itself, enough to disable it for a time

-This transfer of power from the Cauldron to Nesta reminds me of how Silene talks about the power of the ancient Fae of Prythian including the Starborn power, and the material way Theia's Star power gets divided into three parts that are reunited by Bryce but that had actual physical locations for thousands of years (pointing out as well that the Cauldron has also always had a physical, material location throughout history)

-The Mother gifted Nesta with some of the power she had stolen then offered back in a bargain to save Feyre - we see that gifted power in action in HOFAS to great effect

-Nesta's bargain tattoo with Cassian was the symbol of the Staborn people and their power and also the symbol of an Illyrian sword technique

-Bryce, Starborn Heir, thinks these things connect Nesta to Gwydion, which was Made by the Cauldron just like Nesta was and which can be wielded by those who possess the Starborn power in some capacity

-Nesta can move through the wards in the Prison in a way no one else in Prythian seems to be able to, and in a way Bryce (Starborn line descendent) could too

I'm not going to actually predict any concrete theories from all of this. But we also know SJM committed to the existence of a multi-verse when KoA was published, after which HOEAB was published, followed by ACOSF....lots of time to think through how she was going to describe Nesta stealing power from the Cauldron in this scene.

I think there's meaning in this ACOSF prologue we are only just beginning to understand, about what the consequences of this tangling between Nesta and the Cauldron will in fact be. 💫

(And, it's the year of our Lord 2024 and there are new things to write and think about Nesta and the Cauldron - what a time to be alive 💃)

#nesta archeron #the cauldron #nesta's powers #gwydion #hofas spoilers #acosf reread post hofas #post hofas discussion #acotar theory #acosf #a court of silver flames #house of flame and shadow #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #sarah j maas

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dipplinduo · 5 months ago

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Hey there! I'm actually a big fan of your work , and as a rookie writer myself, I wanted to know if you have some motivation advises (Comparison gives me so much writer blocks and I don't even post)

I love how I received and chose to answer this ask after having a lack of motivation streak that I only broke quite literally a few hours ago xD

I think it's interesting you're bringing up comparison - it honestly might be at the root of what you're specifically experiencing so I'm gonna focus my response on that. I could be off, but it sounds like seeing what other people are doing feels intimidating and puts a lot of pressure on you. So if it isn't "perfect" or "up to par" with what others seem to be doing, it's not good enough to post.

This is my personal take:

I saw a post (wish I could link it but can't remember where it was) that really resonated with me not too long ago. It talked about how we've been conditioned as a society in a way to see a lot of the arts as something to perfect; if you want to sing, you should focus on learning how to become a good singer. If you are a dancer, you should focus on learning forms to become a better dancer.

The post goes on to make the point that this is not why the arts were founded in the first place.

We as humans began to sing because we enjoyed singing. We danced because we liked to dance. We paint, write, and draw because - at each art's purest and most rudimentary form - it is the power and experience of personal expression. The benefit wasn't to be perfect, it was to enjoy the creative outlet in itself.

This is what has always connected me to writing. This is why I'm okay with posting the way I do, and why I don't mind light humor about my typos and all that. Because at the end of the day, you're writing because you enjoy it. You're writing to express and share with others. And you're doing it all for free. Your willingness to give the gift of your creativity out to the world is beautiful in itself.

This next part might sound a lot easier said than done, but again, this is all just my personal route that goes in conjunction with this philosophy:

See other writers/creators as your peers. Think of it like a potluck - everyone's bringing their own food, and everyone has different ideas. But it's cool because now you have mashed potatoes along with your favorite food, and someone else brought ice cream. No one dish is going to "win" - it's the culmination of everyone's efforts that fills plates up and make the event (fandom) enjoyable and connective.

Recognize the way in which your fic is uniquely yours. What's the touch you want to have? Things you enjoy that you want to feel yourself as you create, and perhaps share with others? Romance, humor, fun, peace, angst? Maybe certain situations for characters, or a moment you want to see with your favorite ship? The more you get in touch with what you want to portray, the more credit you'll be able to rightfully give your own work.

Engage with creators/commenters that are additive to your personal enjoyment and creativity. Going with the whole "this is all for fun, and is basically everyone's hobby over life and death" thing - the people you surround yourself with, or even the content you consume, can directly affect your experience in writing for a fandom. I personally get a lot out of talking about my ideas with others and through inviting and responding to feedback from people that engage with my work. If you like engaging with someone else's work, go ahead! See what stands out to you as inspiring, and let that be your takeaway to mull on (as you're essentially learning more about yourself and what you find entertaining or engaging).

I'm gonna get off my soapbox now (lol), but I also wanted to add one more thing:

There unfortunately is a competitive culture in a lot of recreational spaces, and especially with the arts and over the internet lol. There are people who like to overly criticize because it makes them feel better about themselves/their own work, there are people who may choose to dislike you or your work simply because they view you as competition, etc.

These kinds of choices some (not the majority of people!) may choose to make hold no actual reflection of your character or what you're writing. It is someone else's reflection being projected onto you. You may not be able to control what they do, but you can control how you respond. And my advice on that?

It's your free time. Don't give the haters a platform, just disengage & tune into the folks that uplift & encourage you instead. B)

#alright I wrote a LOT I'll stop it there #as you can tell I'm ~ passionate ~ about these kinds of things #no but really creative spaces should ALWAYS be inclusive & non-competitive #competitive spaces suck #I will DIE on this hill #Should we make a “positive vibes only” dipplinshipping support group?#Indigo Disk Kieran isn't invited xD #lol okay but really ty for the ask though I'm flattered you'd come to me!! I believe in you!!!#asks #writing tips

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raven-at-the-writing-desk · 2 years ago

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riddle, rollo, and… ace?

This kind of fits in with my other posts speculating on Masquerade part II. The previous posts were about Rollo meeting Ortho and Lilia, respectively.

***Spoilers below the cut!!***

I’ve often seen parallels being drawn between Rollo and Riddle’s backstories, which makes sense 🤔 They are both stubborn in their worldviews and try to force their idea of what is “proper and just” upon others. When their views are challenged, they spiral into rages and insist that they are correct, and that everyone else is “wrong” or “the villain”. (And, of course, on a superficial note, they lean towards fire-based magic.)

But with that in mind, now consider… Wouldn’t it be a throwback to see how Rollo interacts with Ace? All the way back in episode 1 of the main story, Ace called out Riddle for acting like a tyrant. He has continued being the voice of reason for other characters acting unreasonable across various events and vignettes, such as Ghost Marriage (to Eliza) and Endless Halloween Night (to Malleus, in Ace’s Halloween vignettes). I can 100% see Ace also putting Rollo on blast for his actions (in a Fairy Gala: If-like scenario, so same plot just played by different characters) 😂

Ace comes from a particular background which can add to the tension and drama. He is also a younger brother, has a view of magic that is very positive (he wants to be like his mage older brother), and uses his magic carelessly (ie remember when he set the Queen of Hearts on fire) or for things Rollo would deem frivolous and unnecessary (like pulling pranks on others, as he did with Deuce’s birthday present). These are all traits that make Ace very similar to Rollo’s own little brother—a brother that, may I remind you, has already passed.

There also remains the unaddressed and unresolved conflict of episode 5 in which Ace expresses disbelief that Deuce unlocked his unique magic before he did (the duo spent episode 6 mostly knocked out). Ace must be harboring some frustrations that he was not able to keep up with his rival and friend in spite of being so sure that he would be the one to surpass Deuce. These are circumstances which make Ace uniquely like Rollo—feeling upset that he does not have his magic sooner, and some unspoken disappointment and guilt wrapped up in that.

So imagine Ace being one of the people to confront Rollo 🤡 and when he’s chewing him out, all Rollo sees is an older version of his dead brother talking back and disapproving of his actions. As the SSR trio of the current Masquerade event point out, would Rollo’s brother really have been happy knowing that he’s going to such extremes, and using his brother’s death and the claim that he is “saving” others to justify it? And now here comes Ace, telling Rollo all of that right to his face while also emulating a similar energy as his brother once did. It’s like Rollo’s brother has come back from beyond to grave specifically to tell Rollo he’s disappointed in him, to tell him what he’s doing is wrong-and that would still set Rollo off, sending him into a fresh fit of rage for similar reasons as Riddle. (Yes, we are coming full circle and bringing it back to Rollo and Riddle parallels.)

Because if what they’ve been doing all along was actually wrong instead of right like they’ve been viewing it... What did Riddle do all that studying in isolation for? Why did he have to conform to these rules all his life, only to now discover that he was wrong? Why was Rollo saddled with this burden of magic, and a unique magic which will always remind him of his younger brother’s ashen end? Why did he have to stew with all of these complicated emotions while everyone else openly indulged in the sin of magic?

“Then what was the point of it all…?” What was the point of all of their suffering?! Was it all meaningless? Were their efforts worth nothing? Are their feelings and personal experiences up until this point just... pointless? Neither Riddle nor Rollo would automatically take responsibility for their own actions, nor accept fault for their harsh worldviews, so they both lashed out in anger instead.

And not only that, but there’s also a bit of Rollo in Ace--that upset associated with not being inadequate or not being able to measure up to expectations, something that Rollo never acknowledged about himself. We get brief glimpses of Rollo doubting himself, implying that his magic is a burden or a curse, or claiming that he was not able to save his brother. Yet Rollo only continued to blame others for this and tried to overcompensate/overcorrect for what was ultimately a dissatisfaction he had with himself, rather than with the world. Ace could help really drive that home as he’s escorting Rollo down the bell tower (as he’s not very tactful with his words), with just a dash of understanding his situation--because Ace is likely confused in his own way, still trying to discover what makes himself “unique”, just as Rollo is left confused about where to go from here on out.

sahdbaodbsada I just think there’s something potentially interesting to be explored between Ace and Rollo! I also just love it when Ace does a good call out 😂

#Rollo Flamme #Ace Trappola #twst #Rollo Flamm #Riddle Rosehearts #twisted wonderland #Cater is a younger sibling too but #the relationship with his sisters is not a big focus #and then you have responsible big bros like Trey and Jack shaking their heads at Rollo #Leona had strong magic at a young age like Rollo’s lil bro #but also grew up cynical because he knew his magical strength was a source of ridicule #so he started off like Rollo’s lil bro but in essence grew up to be closer to Rollo #Kalim is over here crying for Rollo’s brother 😭#he has so many younger siblings himself #he can’t imagine the pain of losing one #okay but Oasis Maker vs Dark Fire who would win???#notes from the writing raven #disney twisted wonderland #spoilers #can you tell I just really want the main story to address Ace's lack of UM #and how he feels about Deuce getting his own #right before him #even though Ace has been bullying Deuce all along about it

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autumnalfallingleaves · 6 months ago

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Since I’m currently in a Star Wars phase, I was thinking…. How about a WondLa trilogy AU set in the Star Wars universe?

:D!!!!

It wouldn't be me if I didn't have a crossover or a couple for things I'm currently interested in, so I absolutely have a few, lmao.

I've been thinking of a post-WondLa canon SW AU wherein SW isn't in our past; rather, it's in the future and is currently set in the Prequels/Clone Wars era (my favorite :) ). I'm fudging with both canons a bit and putting WondLa several millenniums ahead of where it is in canon to fit in with the SW timeline and also saying that the galaxy is not far, far away. It's the Milky Way. SW humans are from the humans that abandoned Earth via the Dynasty Corporation and affiliated and just. Never came back.

(Continued under the cut because this got long lol)

It's been three or so years since the Battle of Solas, so Eva is around 16. My thinking is that Orbona is out in Wild Space, so it's been lost to charts and maps for a while, thus explaining why the people of SW don't know that the human home planet still exists, or even that there is a human home planet. During the War, the disaster trio (Anakin, Obi-Wan, Ahsoka) end up crash-landing on Orbona on the salt flat near Lacus and find themselves trekking from the now-broken Twilight to what they can see as the nearest civilization, which seems to be a mix of species, most of which-- barring humans-- the Jedi have never seen before. Let's say, for consistency's sake, that the aliens who ended up colonizing Earth/Orbona where from farther out, potentially the galaxy Ezra ended up in, so they're not present in the SW galaxy. Thus, the Jedi can't understand them. They, of course, manage to encounter Eva and co. and, since the humans speak Basic (or English, as the humans of Orbona know it), manage to get a rundown of where they are. (Obi-Wan's nerdy ass is incredibly excited to learn that Orbona/Earth is the planet of human origin. Think of the fossil records.)

And thus, through a series of shenanigans, Orbona is introduced to the larger galactic stage. A selection of beings from Orbona is chosen to go to Coruscant in order to present their planet to the Senate. This includes Eva, Vanpa, Rovender, and maybe Huxley? And others. Redimus is protection.

The Jedi have no idea what to make of Eva. She's extremely strong in the Living Force, but it presents itself in a way none of them have ever seen. I think she and Yoda would get along very well, to the horror of everyone else. She and Anakin would also eat bugs together.

One of the things I've been thinking about the most for this is Eva and the clones, because she, herself is also a clone, just of someone else. I can imagine they bond over that fact as well as personhood and being a second-class citizen in a place that doesn't really care for you. (Say what you want about New Attica, but Eva's status as a clone and her unique experiences were totally brushed over by the Atticans and I don't think she was super happy about that.) I think the vod'e would hear that Eva is still using her designation as her name (Earth in Vitro Alpha, ninth generation) and encourage her to find a name for herself, if she wants to. Eva Nine thus becomes Evelyn "Eva" Kitt :)

This somehow leads to Palps getting outed and ousted because I am all about fix-its in this house.

Other ideas I've had are SW characters in the WondLa setting, which I think is also very fun, but I've thought less about. For instance, the "Eva" would likely be either be Ezra or Omega due to the "naive little kid sees the world, grows up, and develops some pretty serious skills while also finding a family" thing. Ezra works thanks in part to already having similar powers and his relationship with his mentor/dad figure is similar to Eva's. Omega also works because of weird-little-girl-ness, vibes, being a clone, and a similar arc of losing a loved one and having to learn how to move on, though, in this AU, I feel like the person she loses- her caretaker- would have to be Nala Se and not a brother. (You can also insert Batcher in as Otto quite nicely. Maybe Ezra could get a Loth-Wolf?) Hunter is the Rovender, though I'd make it so he had a falling-out with his brothers instead of them being dead and that's why he left.

This also means that it's easy to insert Emerie as the Eva Eight figure, but also means that, in order for Ezra to work, there'd also have to be a bunch of Ezra clones running around. Lmao.

#wondla #star wars #star wars the clone wars #eva nine #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #ahsoka tano #tbb omega #ezra bridger #beans answers #theres also potential for a version of this where palps lived and o66 went out as in canon and orbona instead becomes a #rebel base/affiliated planet and the wondla cast helps the rebellion #eva and ezra bonding over being living extensions of their planets.......

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utilitycaster · 1 year ago

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On the Midst messages topic:

I thought the discussion about making their original PCs less heroic for the sake of the story was interesting, and “must a character have flaws?” reminds me of “must a story have conflict?” So I was curious if you had thoughts on what differentiates interesting characters in actual play vs. other kinds of storytelling, and how their flaws/virtues play into that.

Like, obviously there are lots of flawed characters in a show like CR that are in fact excellent for storytelling and fun to play, but somewhere else along that spectrum is Moc Weepe who is a fascinating character but (at least for me) would not be fun to play in a TTRPG.

Oh sure!

I think all characters do need to have flaws, and it's worth noting that even the classic D&D character sheets have a box for flaws and that's outside any stat dumps they may have. And to be actually compelling, it does need to be an actual flaw and not "they try too hard and care too much" unless they truly care do the above to the brink of destruction or something. I suspect the original incarnations of the Midst "PCs" still were flawed to an extent; it sounds like Moc was still kind of creepy and weird, Lark still kind of brusque and awkward around people, and Phineas still overly devoted to a horrible cause; they just weren't quite as extreme. (For what it's worth I think Weepe would be super fun to play in a TTRPG provided you all had had a good chat about boundaries and everyone understood that you were playing a complete bastard; I've never really played a TTRPG where you weren't a party working together but Midst clearly is not a party-oriented story so I think that makes a huge difference.)

It's true that a lot of people do make a really cool guy (gn) to play in D&D or similar TTRPGs. Sometimes, to be honest, this means that their game would not actually be terribly fun to watch. I do know people who are mostly interested in playing D&D for mechanics and puzzle-solving and not character development, and that is valid! It's collaborative storytelling, but the experience of playing in the story is a different one from watching it. I think a lot of people don't realize this - a really fun game between you and your friends could be mostly fucking around that makes for a terrible story (*cough* anyone who writes a novella in the replies or tags in a generic D&D post about their home game). That probably wasn't true of Midst even in the earlier incarnations, since they were working outside the bounds of mechanics specifically for the purpose of storytelling, but (for example) the CR cast has specifically talked about some minor changes they made to playstyle compared to a home game, and the reason a game not intended to be actual play from the start made the transition so successfully was in part because of the voice actor angle - these are people who have to find a story and come up with an entire realized character, often from very little, to be able to act.

The biggest thing actual play characters need to do for me is take action and voice their thoughts either directly or through subtext, because actual play has a pretty unique challenge in that it's like film, in that you don't really get a narration of the character's innermost thoughts unless there's some kind of voice over monologue; but you also don't have film's ability to show a character alone for a long stretch of time, at least not frequently; and you have to describe all the visuals. A passive actual play character, even if their mind is full of interesting thoughts, is not interesting unless that's being conveyed somehow. Bold moves are to be rewarded, as are characters who are good at bouncing off others (which means both conflict and cooperation; interaction in all forms). Characters really need to be making choices and those choices need to be communicated.

#answered #helimir #cr tag #midst tag

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envysparkler · 1 year ago

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First, I just want to start off by saying that I adore every piece of writing you have!! If you were to ever write and publish a book, I would be the first one to buy it! (Although I also love the multiple book lengths of fics you have put up and those are more than enough to sustain me!)

Also, as someone who is applying to phd schools soon, at least hopefully, and saw your other asks and answers...is it worth it? 😭 I just look at how much people say their papers are rejected and it seems like it's so difficult to deal with mentally and time wise. I feel like so often people talk about the good parts, but then you always hear about the horrors of grad school and it's all so confusing so I will take any nuggets from someone who's in grad school and is almost on the other side!

If I ever end up publishing a book, I will certainly let you know!

Is a PhD worth it? That entirely depends on what you want out of it.

In my opinion, a PhD is worth it if and only if it is a requirement of the job you're looking for. And if that job is academia, be advised that academia means you need to be passionate about your research and your field and be so for the rest of your life. I'm not kidding. You have to be the biggest cheerleader of your work because no one else is going to be, no one is going to tell you what to do next, and no one is going to tell you that you should be doing more. Everything in academia stems from your own motivation. If you are not someone who is particularly self-motivated, I would advise against it. You will have to argue and defend your work against everyone else for your entire life and if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will either.

If you're just doing it because you don't know what to do next: no. Go get a real job. PhD stipends are not worth it, the degree takes an average of six years to finish and 50% of people who start drop out. Those are not great odds. Don't get a phd to defer adulting, I promise you the stress isn't worth it. Also, you'll end up back in the same spot, hunting through the job market, only now you're overqualified and underqualified.

If you're doing it because you realize you hate your bachelors and want to switch fields: get a masters and get out. If no one will accept you for a masters/the masters isn't paid for, apply for a PhD, get in, and master out. If you enter a PhD and decide you don't like it, master out. You don't need to prove anything to anyone. You can walk away. Don't sunk cost fallacy yourself.

If you're still interested in doing a PhD: good luck! Also, when you get in, make sure you find good mentors. Find older PhD students in your field who will show you the ropes. Understand what is 'officially' expected of you and what is 'unofficially' expected of you. There is a shit ton of things to do that no one tells you until it's too late because they expected you to be doing it all along, and it varies depending on what field you're in. Form support groups with other PhD students in your year. Lean on each other. Build community. A PhD is a uniquely isolating experience--graduating means you are essentially the only person in the world who knows your research--and most universities will not provide the social scaffolding necessary to survive it with your sanity intact. (Gotham is a fantastic example.)

I hope that helps!

#envy answers #phd life

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mejomonster · 13 days ago

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I may post a bunch about authoritarian thinking later, and how to combat it, but some short important points for anyone: if you think like an authoritarian it means you tend to think in terms of black/white, tend to obey and believe people you consider your leaders and tend to view the world as your own in-group and then outgroups (which you may want dead/not care what happens to them/hate them), you struggle to think critically and empathize, and ignoring the many ways this authoritarian thinking hurts society at large and yourself - importantly, authoritarian thinking leaves you EXTREMELY vulnerable to con artists and cruel leaders because once someone gets into a leadership position in your in-group you tend to trust and obey them. Even if they hurt you, abuse you, lie to you. So a big reason to work on changing your own authoritarian thinking, is to HELP YOU PROTECT YOURSELF and IMPROVE your own safety and situation. You will be able to spot con artists and abusers easier, and protect yourself from them hurting you, if you work on changing your authoritarian thinking a bit. In addition, if you care about your in-group (the group of people you identify with) and your in-group views you as part of it (for example: you're in-group is a church and the church members value your partocipation), then you learning to think in more flexible ways will allow you to both save yourself from abusers AND convince your in-group to stop following an abusive leader and switch to a better one for the group. Win win.

Key ways you can work on your own tendencies toward authoritarian thinking: learn how to empathize with various people, learn how to think critically, and expose yourself to a variety of enviornments/viewpoints/experiences.

For empathy, easy ways to start include: get a pet and practice caring about that pet, read books and practice caring about a character, volunteer in a place outside your in-group (so if you go to church, volunteer at a school or library or theater or fair or daycare or soup kitchen) and practice appreciating the process of helping people outside the in-group. Getting a pet and reading can be some of the easiest initial things you can do. Trying to make new friends and acquaintances with people outside your in-group may also help: talking to a child, coworker, classmate, stramger at grocery store or fair, with respect (such as asking what their favorite toy or show is, why, practicing caring about what makes them happy, practicing interacting with people even when you don't immediately get some tangible thing from them), practice talking with people without arguing or starting a conflict (and if they argue first, it's okay to leave the conversation entirely, at least for a while just try practicing Not Fighting sometimes). Practice listening to people to get to know them (including people in your in-group you may not know well), and be curious about their experiences and the differences/similarity to you as all interesting and not necessarily bad or good (so if you went to public school and they went to private school, hold off on making a judgement about it and just be curious about what their experience was like). On a more surface level, if people like a different musician or actor than you, be curious about what they like and try to imagine why someone might appreciate what they do (you don't have to like that band too, but practice trying to understand why someone else likes it). Its the idea of "imagine you were in someone else's shoes," and having pets, reading about characters unlike you, and getting to know people and their unique experiences helps you practice doing that. Along with practicing holding off on judgement, especially on simple basic things to start: for example trying not to jump to black/white good bad thinking over what people in your group and outside it do... in terms of say what they eat, or the music they like, or their clothes. So if you tend to decide everyone who doesnt go to your church is evil, practice maybe viewing a person with the same religion as you but who goes to a different church as neutral and someone who maybe just never knew your church existed or was raised in a different city and so their life experience may simply have been different - but that doesnt automatically make them evil, just for being born in a different city and not knowing about your specific church existing yet.

To expose yourself to more experiences and people: again consider volunteering at an event outside of your in-group, start a new hobby and join a new discord or fandom group or in-person meet up, go to a new bar or coffee place or grocery store and have small talk, take a class in the community, go to fairs and community events, go to an event in a nearby but different community (like a fair in the next county, a concert, a play you'd like to see). Any new hobby or interest that allows you to meet new people and ask them about their experience with the hobby/interest will help, and you'll help them as you share your own experiences. Even just the act of exploring new possible interests will help you, as you will not have a judgement yet on what you like/dislike and will get to practice deciding what parts of the interest you enjoy and don't based on your experiences. So experience new things, and listen to other people's experiences while being open to letting yourself enjoy things others may dislike, and letting yourseld dislike things others may like. Practice listening to others without automatically assuming their opinion/experience is good/bad (or that there is a good/bad at all, preference for cheeze pizza versus pepperoni can just be two neutral choices which are both fine) or going to be the same for you (you may feel much differently than others and thats fine), practice trying new things where you're allowed to try multiple different ways without any way being particularly good/bad (this is to practice thinking in more varied ways: you're allowed to make 3 different cookie recipes and find each of them yummy and yet not perfect, you're allowed to dislike all 3 recipes but appreciate that your friend loves recipe 1 so you may make it for their birthday, you're allowed to fail the 3 recipes and need to try a few times, you're allowed to make them and decide you don't like making cookies after all and would rather try making a cake next). Trying sports teams may help, hobby clubs, board game tournaments, book clubs (where people have various opinions and you - like them - may have your own unique opinion all of which is fine, no opinion is mandatory or restricted).

To develop critical thinking skills: the two parts above will help somewhat with that. Just letting yourself experience new things, meet new people and hear about experiences different than your own, practicing wondering why someone likes something you may not, practicing liking something because YOU like it after experiencing it and not because someone told you to like it, will all help you figure out what you SPECIFICALLY think. And it will help you recognize that other people all think uniquely, may sometimes disagree, and that thinking differently can be okay. Those are some helpful initial steps to learn to think critically.

Critical thinking skills are important because it helps you figure out what is a fact and real, what is a person's opinion which may be right or wrong or only partly right or wrong or may be something you can't detetmine, how to check if a fact is something you can make decisions with or not explained well enough to rely on. Critical thinking is how you help yourself: if you are abused and your lover hits and punches you, and says "I love you and care about you," critical thinking will help you recognize the fact: you are being injured, help you recognize the actions your lover does of hurting you doesn't match their words that they love you, and helps you make a decision to help yourself - to leave the location where your lover is harming you over and over and go somewhere you are safer and not in danger. Critical thinking, even if you love being in an in-group and love following leadership, will allow you to notice when leaders and in-group members genuinely are helping the group, and when leaders or members are hurting the group. This can allow you to help the group and yourself by recognizing when the group has someone harming others and help you determine how to stop that harm. Even if you think very authoritarian and like that kind of structure in your life, critical thinking skills will help you and those you love.

You can start by figuring out how to make a decision on some basic thing. For example: prepare for the weather today in your city. Look up weather your-city in google, click some weather sites (to check collected data), go outside of your front door and physically feel the weather (data you collect yourself), text a friend who lives somewhere else and ask them what the weather is in your city - and ask them not to check the weather report (get an opinion), perhaps also ask your roommate what the weather is (an opinion from someone with the same ability to literally look outside the window and get their own data in person). From this experience you'll learn that data from a collected organization is probably fairly accurate but not perfect (maybe the weather site said 90% chance rain and when you went outside it was sprinkling but not pouring, and the clouds were dark), maybe your friend's opinion in another town was right or wrong (maybe they guessed and rain was a good guess for a cloudy November in your state) but they couldn't tell you how long until the weather would change, you went outside yourself and that was fairly reliable as you could literally feel the weather (but it cant help you decide if it will still be raining in 8 hours), maybe your roommate's weather judgement was better than the friend in another town but worse than your own judgement of going outside and feeling it. This is an experience to show you how useful facts are versus opinions. If you go outside and it rains on you, it is a fact that it is raining. If your friend in another city says they think the rain stopped, it's their opinion and they may be right Or wrong... you'll have to go outside to find out. The weather report site is somewhat right and can give you estimates of the next several hours of weather so that's helpful, but isn't giving you updates as specific as actually standing outside in the weather on your particular block. You can now see how facts and opinipns are useful, and when they are more or less reliable for making a decision to help yourself. (In this case to prepare to deal with the weathet outside).

Next you can practice critical thinking with less simple questions. You can try to decide "what is the best tires to get for my SUV" or "what coverup will be least likely to give me acne"? You'll look up on google these questions, and see company sites marketing their product and claiming theirs is best. You'll notice a company always says THEIR product is the best, and learn that a company may not give you facts as often as NON company sites that compare many products, or that a company will word facts in a way to imply something that isn't necessarily true. (For example: if a makeup clogs pores, it may not say it does that, it may just not use the word "non comedogenic"... but since you aren't seeing the word "non comdegenic" which means not-pore-clogging, that's a sign the makeup May actually clog pores). You will notice review sites, and reviewers with NO sponsors will tend to be more honest and share personal experience, while sponsored reviews may only mention positives. You will notice more fact based comparison sites, which will list ingredients and what each ingredient does, which will be facts to help you make a decision on which makeup is least likely to give you acne.

You may read articles on certain makeup ingredients and if they're a common allergen, which might explain why some makeup with some ingredients caused you acne before even though none of the ingredients were pore clogging. You are practicing comparing facts, and practicing deciding which sources are reliable or biased (biased sources try to convince you to buy something/believe something), what the bias is about (many articles want you to buy something even though you don't Truly need to buy everything), which reviewers gave biased opinions (if theyre sponsored they get money to convince you to buy something), which reviewers gave personal experiences (and are those experiences useful to you - did the reviewer have similar skin type and issues and allergies?). These are important skills! Learning to do this will help you spend money on things that are more likely to HELP you, to be what you want, and this skill will help you avoid scams and avoid being tricked.

Critical thinking gets much deeper than this, and applies to everything you run into in life - all news articles have biases (they want to convince you of something, there's facts AND opinions and attempts to convince you to do something), all ads are like this (every sponsored post on instagram is trying to convince you to believe and/or buy something), all influencers posts (their job is to convince you to buy products from companies paying the influencer, to get you to invest money in the influencer too - every podcaster/twitch streamer/youtuber/etc), books. All stuff you can find in the world is fact, opinion, some mixture, someone trying to convince you of something, and you using your own experiences to get your own facts (example: its raining on your face when you go outside so fact: its raining) and to decide your own opinions (opinion might be: you like feeling the rain, so you choose not to bring an umbrella, but your lover hates rain so they choose to bring an umbrella for themselves). You use all that information to decide what is fact, what is others opinion and are they trying to convince you of something, what your opinion is, and what to do that will help you.

Here's more information on developing critical thinking skills:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/bernardmarr/2022/08/05/13-easy-steps-to-improve-your-critical-thinking-skills/ (this has good basic tips for things you can do daily)

https://www.criticalthinking.org/pages/critical-thinking-where-to-begin/796 (a big website on critical thinking)

https://www.monash.edu/student-academic-success/enhance-your-thinking/critical-thinking/what-is-critical-thinking (this has good step by step instructions on how to start to think critically and practice in depth)

#rant #tldr: developing empathy and critical thinking are the best things you can do to help YOURSELF #in terms of helping yourself make decisions that HELP you. in terms of escaping abusive situations and avoiding con artists #look like 30% of americans think in an authoritarian way (at least) and i would wager most of Trump's hardcore supporters #think in authoritarian ways and like living in an authoritarian way with an in-group (them) a leader they wholly obey (trump)#and an out group they hate (anyone who doesnt support their leader and agree with them)#and like... YOU are susceptible to falling for authoritarian leaders and absolutely obeying them even if they harm you TOO #so many people on the left have an in group mentality (leftist) and outgroup (others) who they HATE and dehumanize #if youre one of those people: you are ALSO morw susceptible to falling for con artists and obeying abusive leaders even if they harm you/#other people in your group.#do you want to PREVENT your group from being harmed? do you want to stop abusive leaders? do you want to NOT eventually fall for rightwing #propoganda and supporting trump (because with how easily you believe authoritarian propoganda you will eventually fall for it #and become one pf them. especially if you cant think critically and empthazie this others)#well if you WANT to help yourself and your in group (and society at large tbh) PRACTICE EMPATHY AND CRITICAL THINKING #KEEP PRACTICING AND TRYING #its the best thing you can do!!!!#and if you know an authoritarian thinker (some maga who hates their own kids or some leftist who #hopes X people die)#then things which may help them (if you still interact with them): get them a pet #see if theyre willing to volunteer in a new community (interact with out-group people unlike their usual group)#see if theyre willing to try a new experience. especially if they must listen to other experiences #and if they must form a brand new opinion on their own without automatically copying someone elses opinion.#therapy may help them with empathy.#experiences with diverse other people especially if they share the experience or share their own #personal stories will help.#for critical thinking: keep it simple... if the person has fallen for a Pyramid Scheme or MLM or is trapped with an abuser #the first step may be to help them recognize theyre being abused or in an MLM thats ripping them off. and help urge them to reach out for #help. things like AA like anti-mlm support groups like ex-religion groups like narcisstic-parents groups and recovering from abuse groups #will ALL involve teaching critical thinking to the person. because they'll need critical thinking to recognize the pattern of abuse they #just went through and learn how to recognize it so they dont fall into it again. ptsd support groups may also help

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