#because it’s the same type of matchup and they’d be too powerful

[roots-symphony]

honestly Lumon is extremely lucky that Devon and Helly have no way to meet (so far) and Devon would never get severed because they would not survive a Devon/Helly team-up, like they’d be decimated so fast

[whump-a-la-mode]

Hi! First of all, your writing is ASTOUNDING. I adore how you characterize. Secondly, I have a prompt idea:

A Villain who is falling in love with a Hero, but won’t admit it to themself. They stop being able to effectively fight Hero because they don’t want to hurt them. But Supervillain notices, so they capture Hero and use them to lure Villain in.

-Wicky

🥺🥺🥺 Thank you so very much! You just made my day. I thank you for the compliment and the prompt! I sure hope I did it justice, and I hope you enjoy!

CW//Injuries, threats, implied torture

Villain’s world spun as their skull cracked against the rough concrete of the roof. Opening their eyes, their field of vision was filled with only an array of stars.

Everything hurt.

They were convinced, in that moment, that there was not an inch of their flesh that was left unbruised, not a rib left unfractured. Breathing on its own was an ordeal, an ordeal that they endured only out of pure necessity.

Pain rippled through the stocks of jelly they had once called limbs as the villain scrambled first to hands and knees, and finally to their feet, even as unsteady as they were. They could do nothing but gasp as they faced down their opponent.

There was something in Hero’s eyes. Something that even their nemesis, their sworn, life-long foe could not quite name. It was not quite sympathy, no, but it was not quite pity, either. Something inbetween, perhaps, with only the slightest garnishing of regret.

“Come on, Villain.” It was with a pleading tone that the hero spoke, as though attempting to coax a frightened cat down from the top branches of a Redwood tree. “Just stand down! You can’t win this. We have you surrounded. No harm will come to you- No more harm.”

Yet, the villain only shook their head.

For any outsider, the matchup would have looked more like a massacre, waiting to happen. Villain themself was perhaps not the picture of musculature, but what villain was? No, they may not have been the strongest. But everyone knew what power they held in their palms, the lightning they could unleash at will. Enough to topple the building upon which they stood. Enough to topple the whole city, perhaps. The city had yet to so much as see their full potential.

But it was their potential that the villain now refused to use.

Hero, on the other hand, was... well, they weren’t much. As strong as they were, as clever, as smart, superstrength could only do one so much good. Villain could have destroyed them in passing, with the snap of a finger!

Why wasn’t the hero in the nearest emergency room? Even Villain themself wasn’t entirely sure.

“I’m not giving up, asshole!” They snarled, balling their hands to fists. It would be so easy. So very simple to send a torrent of lightning forth, to shock Hero within an inch of their life. Hell, Villain used their powers to make popcorn on the weekends!

But, they couldn’t. They couldn’t imagine Hero, the poor thing, the pitiful little fool, fallen to the ground. The very thought of using their powers against their opponent made them feel sick.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Hero spoke, eyes wide and glimmering with that same mix of sympathy and regret.

“Too bad.”

And, with that, the rooftop once more became a battleground. Villain surged forward, met in the center by their nemesis. A blow to the side of their head sent them stumbling.

They couldn’t go on like this, they knew as their vision clouded once more with stars. Another hit and they would be unconscious, in the custody of the so-called good guys. They couldn’t do that.

They had two choices.

Three. Three choices.

The first? To take the hit. To bite the bullet, to find themself behind bars.

The second? To hurt Hero. To wipe that oh-so-innocent quiver from their lips. To destroy-

No. They had two options. That wasn’t even on the table. Villain could be beaten, or they could flee.

It was with a shivering gasp that they chose the second.

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Sidekick placed down their fork with a resounding clack. In the silent room, the sound resembled the ring of a gong.

“Are you absolutely certain you’re alright?” They asked with a quirked brow. With the day turning to evening, they had left their sidekick’s uniform behind, replaced now with a casual set of garments. After all, the restaurant at which they were eating was far from fancy. That wasn’t the type of villain that their mentor was.

“Of course I’m alright. Do I look like some kind of ailing senior citizen?” Villain muttered under their breath as they looked over in displeasure at their sidekick. For someone so young, they certainly had a mouth.

“Not now. But on the battlefield last night-”

“I’m fine. I’m up and walking, aren’t I?”

“It’s not about that.” Sidekick shook their head. “It was in the battle. You could’ve taken out Hero easy-”

“Keep your voice down, we’re in public.”

“Sorry.” They lowered their tone. “But, I’ve seen you take Hero out dozens of times. Recently, though, you’ve been all over the place. You can’t even land a single hit! I’m worried. You’ve lost your edge. Up on that rooftop, it was like you were somewhere else entirely.”

Villain had been somewhere else entirely, not that they would ever dare to admit it. They had been lost, hopelessly lost- Lost in the eyes of their damn nemesis.

“I just wasn’t on the ball. Everyone has off days.” They grumbled, turning their embarrassed gaze away.

“Everyone has off days. But you’ve been having an off month! Don’t think I haven’t noticed that it’s just them. Just Hero.”

“They’re getting better.”

“So are you.”

“Really, I’m fine.”

Sidekick reached across the table, placing their palm upon the back of their mentor’s hand, which had unconsciously been balled into a fist.

“You nearly got captured, last night. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Villain. If you’re sick, if something’s wrong, anything at all, you need to tell me.”

Villain suddenly spotted something very interesting on their shoes, and kept their gaze fixed there.

“It’s stupid.”

“Are you sick? Everyone gets sick sometimes, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Not sick.”

“Then what?”

Villain gritted their teeth.

“Lovesick.”

Sidekick withdrew their hand in shock.

“What?”

“Look, it’s stupid! I don’t know. I shouldn’t be feeling that way about a hero, but- They’re a good person, I swear it. They want to help, and they’re kind, and I just can’t bear the thought of hurting them. What if I changed them? What if I hurt them, and that was what made them lose hope, lose faith? Then that’d be on my shoulders!”

“You’re saying...” Sidekick’s jaw was still ajar in shock. “You’re saying that you can’t fight Hero, because you’re in love with them?”

Villain looked up with a sigh.

“To put it shortly, I suppose.”

The both of them were shocked as a figure appeared next to their table. A sharply-dressed figure with a notepad.

“Are you two ready to order?”

“Yes, my apologies.” Villain cleared their throat. They and their sidekick presented their orders, which the waiter scrawled down with a series of understanding nods.

It was not until that particular waiter disappeared from the dining room that they slipped out of their disguise, and dialed a number into their phone.

“Hey, Boss? You might wanna hear about this.”

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To say Villain was in a bad mood would have been an understatement.

The injuries covering every last inch of their body, too, ached with every step they took. Bruises and beatings rippled, forcing them nearly to limp. Yet, they forced their gait to remain normal, even if it meant pain.

They couldn’t call attention to themself. Not when they were in civilian clothes like this, and not when they were on the streets. Still, they kept their head low and their sweatshirt hoodie up as they went along. No need to stick out in the crowd.

This was the only solace they ever got, after all. When some got frustrated, they would go for a drive in the night. But their vehicle was distinctive enough that that wasn’t an option for the villain.

Instead? They walked, moving along with the crowd as though they were a single fish in a school. Usually, this helped them calm down. Now, however, every step they took only made their thoughts spin more wildly.

First, it was Hero. Hero and their stupid eyes. Then it was Sidekick. It wasn’t that Sidekick had confronted them that made them so worried, it was that they’d noticed at all.

That meant that other people out there might spot their weakness. Might use it as an advantage. Who would it be, though? Hero themself? Or, even-

A gasp rippled through the crowd around them in a wave. Voices shouted and fingers pointed, all in the same direction. Villain wiggled their way out of the crowd in order to see what had caused such fuss.

A billboard. An electronic billboard.

An electronic billboard that no longer housed an advertisement for the latest cellphone or insurance scam. No. Upon the massive thing, multiple stories in height, surely, was broadcasted a video.

“Good evening, and I do apologize for interrupting. But I just had to get my friend’s attention.”

Villain’s breath caught in their throat. They would know that voice even if they had to pick it out of a crowd of thousands.

Most would have expected that two people so similar as Villain and Supervillain would get along, but the reality was just the opposite. Villain couldn’t call themself a good guy, no, but they had ethics. Morals. Real aims to work towards, rather than burning the city down and laughing among the flames.

Supervillain, on the other hand? There was a reason that they were so feared. Their goals were far grander than Villain’s.

To say that they had never been very good friends would be an understatement.

And, now? Now they were enemies. The video projected upon that billboard made that fact certain.

Supervillain themself was not visible in frame-- Perhaps that was lucky for Villain. Seeing that stupid face would have certainly goaded them into destroying the projection outright. Instead, the video displayed a room.

A concrete room, with a chair in the center. A chair that was far from empty.

It was always Hero’s eyes that they could not help but get lost in. Now, that wasn’t a factor. Not when the hero was so tightly blindfolded. Their soothing, calming voice, too, had been eliminated-- the cloth gag in their mouth was already soaked-through with spittle.

Tied to the chair, bound, gagged, and blinded, sat Hero.

“Now, I don’t want a ransom. No, no. I only want to see a dear friend of mine. And it has been oh, so hard to track them down.

So, Villain, dear?”

They shivered at the sound of their name. Their name.

“How about you come to my base, and pick up your little friend, here. Or else, I might just have to do something drastic.”

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For six hours, Villain did not move.

As soon as the broadcast had left the billboard, it had repeated itself upon every news channel that gave half a crap about the metropolis. National news, even international, with subtitles in two dozen languages telling of Supervillain’s threat.

They’d found out. Of course they’d found out.

Villain knew they  should have been furious. They should have strangled Supervillain, strangled Hero, strangled themself! After all, this was all their fault. Falling for a hero, how could they have possibly been so stupid?

Now, they stared. Hands balled to fists in their lap as yet another newscaster explained the same events, over and over again.

“Boss?” Sidekick’s voice was soft, nothing like their usual, nosy self. They sat in a chair behind their mentor, who was seated criss-cross on the floor.

There was no answer.

“Boss... What are you going to do?”

“I can’t leave them.”

“Leave who?”

“Leave Hero. You know what Supervillain is like! They’ll destroy them. Destroy the last good hero in the city.”

“You didn’t want to hurt them.”

“And I don’t want to see them hurt, either.”

“I know you don’t. But it’s all Supervillain has over you. You can just... Leave them, right? It’s not like Hero has any real power over you.”

“No.”

“No?”

“I have to.”

“You don’t!”

Villain stood.

“Yes, I do.” They spun around, stalking towards the room that held their costume. “And I need to wipe that damn smile off Supervillain’s face.”

[stellar-imagines]

HEADCANONS REQUEST: ❝S/O with a quirk like Thor.❞

[ Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia ] [ Characters: Bakugou Katsuki, Todoroki Shouto, Kirishima Eijirou ]

「Headcanons of Bakugou, Todoroki and Kirishima with S/O who has a quirk like Thor.」

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

♤ You're like super strong? Like what the hell? It almost looked like you had so much strength in you. Summoning storms, tornados, lighting out of nowhere despite the sunny weather. Your quirk was similar to Kaminari's but it was clear that you had a slight edge over him. Electricity-based attacks have no effect on you at all and you're able to neutralize it or use them to your advantage. First impression, you have such a badass quirk and you could destroy an entire city if you wanted to.

♤ That heavy ass hammer you wield to compensate for your lack of strength? Yeah, it weighs like 20kg. You use it in many different ways and it's not only a weapon to pummel your enemy with. Using your quirk, you would fling the hammer and take advantage of the propulsion. It will allow you to either cling to the handle to fly through the air. And depending on how well you are with your quirk, you'd be able to travel faster than a race car. He thinks that a hammer is unnecessary and tells you that you can beat villains up with or without it.

♤ Bakugou is fucking amazed of course. You're easily one of the strongest students in the year and definitely on the top in his list of 'People he needs to beat'. Before dating, he makes a lot of excuses to spar with you because he wants to prove he's better than you. But boy, he's a sucker for those who can defend themselves and put up a good fight. You both spar with one another so often, with or without a quirk. But often without quirks because both of you can destroy the place if you both wanted to.

♤ He thinks it's fucking hot that you can change the weather to your advantage and summon lightning and thunder. It's freaking awesome and he believes that this is a huge advantage for you because you're basically creating your own field. Of course, he doesn't date you for your quirk and abilities. This guy normally doesn't compliment people but when it comes to you, he will blurt it out without knowing. And when someone points it out, he will get flustered and deny it. He's super proud of you but he tries not to show it.

TODOROKI SHOUTO

☆ Todoroki first witnesses your quirk in full action during the Sports Festival. He recalls seeing you being pushed back He was grateful that you weren't his opponent at that time. I mean, you destroying the arena, possibly traumatizing a few children and changing the weather with your quirk? To him, that was amazing and he was instantly interested in you. Of course, he was initially interested because of the display of power you showed during the Sports Festival. He wished you struck his dad with lighting.

☆ Over time, the two of you got close and inevitably eventually he fell in love with you. It's not because of your quirk or anything, so rest assured. Todoroki isn't the type of person to fall in love with someone just based on one aspect. He actually shows interest in your quirk after having witness you use it a lot of times. Not only your quirk but he seems to be intrigued by the hammer you wield. With such a strong quirk, he didn't really see the need to have a weapon.

☆ The way he courted you was quite interesting. He's pretty dense and he's very blunt with his words. This guy will probably invite you out with his usual blank look on his face. A lot of people think that he's being too straightforward but he's just being really honest and open with his feelings towards you. He doesn't really hide his feelings from you at all, anyone could tell that he sees you in a special way. You'd have to be dumb to notice that though.

☆ He never knew that he would find someone intimidating.....to be hot at the same time. Until he met you of course. Todoroki recalled when someone was picking on one of your friends, you had called them out on the field, making sure that there were people around. You were livid, daring not only them but all the bystanders that if they mess with your friends, they'd have to face your wrath. This was followed by a crack of lightning that appeared behind you as if to warn them. Todoroki is super proud of you.

KIRISHIMA EIJIROU

♡ Kirishima loves to over-exaggerate at times. However, he never seems to think that he is. The first time he sees you in action, he's in awe and thinks that you're an awesome and manly person. And this guy wouldn't miss the chance to tell you that. So, that's how he befriended you in the first place. The topics he brings up are usually related to your quirk because that's what started your friendship in the first place.

♡ He would, surprisingly, ask a lot of questions about your quirk because he's genuinely curious. Sometimes you think that he's the second Midoriya in 1-A. Kirishima tells you that your quirk is powerful and that you'd be a great hero someday. If you actually feel insecure with your quirk at some point, this boy has a long list of why you shouldn't be and you can't really argue against him. How could you when he's looking at you like you're the most amazing person in the world?

♡ This guy wants to get stronger so similar to Bakugou, he would invite you to sparring sessions. Kirishima actually asks you if you could hit him with lightning to see how much he can withstand. Of course, you have to tell educate him that being struck by lightning is no joke. You weren't really sure if his quirk would actually protect him but when lighting strikes a human's body, it will leave them with deep wounds, often accompanied by third-degree burns.

♡ Kirishima lives to see you smile and you bet that he loves complimenting you. He will take every chance to shower you in affection and praises. It's often during training where this happens. He would stop for a few moments to tell you that your quirk is amazing and that you're awesome. He loves swinging around your hammer around like a kid playing with their new toy. He thinks that it's pretty hero like to have a weapon. Overall, he's very amazed by your quirk and skills.

Total: 1094 words Published: 16.09.2020

Thank you for requesting! ｡٩(ˊᗜˋ)و*｡ Honestly, I don't watch Marvel that much  But we hope you liked it! ― author Lou

Thank you for requesting it! We hope you enjoyed this! ― author Natsuki

Requests are open! Matchups are closed!

Please do not mind the grammar mistakes and typos.

[firaknight]

So this is basically PMD x Kirby

(Here’s a key: pink is the name of the character, green is the Pokemon they chose, blue means male, pink means female, purple is the description of design changes)

So, before I explain who gets who, Adeleine sets up a few rules/guidelines for everyone.

1: The couch. Adeleine and Ribbon live in a cottage on the outskirts of town and therefore have a small house. When everyone’s there, she has a set seating system: tall people (DDD, herself, Daroach, etc) have to sit on the couch or in the general back. Short people (basically everyone else) sit in front of the couch and around the floor (she gives them pillows and floor seats of course)

2: No repeats! It’s to help her remember and also to not cause confusion or arguments. Nobody gets to have the same Pokemon as someone else (the only exception being if they plan to evolve them into a branching evolution, like Gardevoir and Gallade in the Ralts line)

3: Personalize! Everyone gets to add design changes to theirs (cut ear, different patterns, accessories, etc) to make them their own! They also assign genders to theirs and if they can’t decide, dice are rolled. Odds for male, evens for female (they can choose not to, but the vast majority were like “yeah whatever let’s just give them a gender”).

Ok onto the actual Pokemon

Adeleine: Chikorita, female, wears a scarf (part of the in-game story) and has a multicolored head leaf! Also had a small crystal hanging from her neck!

She saw the design and called them a “tiny dinosaur with a big leaf” and immediately decided on them. She loves them to death and thinks they’re the cutest Pokemon on the planet.

Ribbon: Fennekin, female, wears a scarf (part of the in-game story), has fur that is more pink than red, and wears a huge red bow! Also has a small crystal hanging from her neck!

Couldn’t choose the same Pokemon as Adeleine and thought Fennekin looked beautiful (she was even more excited when she saw the final evolution). She also has a type matchup with Adeleine and absolutely takes bullets for her to keep her from dying.

Kirby: Eevee, female, white fur is tinted pink, has blue eyes instead of brown, and wears bunch of colorful accessories like bows, bracelets/anklets, and collars!

Couldn’t decide on the gender and the dice rolled female! He doesn’t care and loves his Eevee!!! He likes how soft they look and how they have different evolution!! It’s like his copy abilities!!! He’s stuck trying to figure out what to evolve them into tho.

Dedede: Piplup, male, wears a big robe and hat, body is a slightly darker and more vibrant blue, and is a little chubbier!

He convinced Adeleine to take on a more difficult dungeon request for this (she got a big dinner at the royal table and got to stay the night in one of the royal rooms out of it though so it was worth it) and after a near 2 hour run and almost 3 game overs, she got it. Dedede only wanted it because it’s the only penguin Pokemon in the series and he wanted a big penguin like himself!!!

Meta Knight: Ralts (Gallade), male, wears a mask like his own, has more jagged blades, and wears a cape!

Only picked them because they saw Gallade and said “yeah that’s gonna be me” and didn’t wait for an answer. He likes their arm blades and the fact that they have a mega evolution (even BIGGER blades!!!!!!! A big tattered cape!!!!!! Badass looks!!!!! What’s not to like!!!!)

Bandee: Karrablast, male, wears a blue bandana, body is orange instead of blue, stomach is cream instead of orange, and has a tiny spear (this is later removed when they evolve)!!!

They saw Escavalier and got super excited!! Double spear arms!!! Armored and tough looking!!! They like how tough they look and 100% chose them for that reason only (although the Pokemon kinda grew on them over time). Not ultra tough right now but they’re getting there!

Marx: Sableye, male, gems are basically mirrors, wears a jester cap like his own, and has only 2 claws instead of 3!!

He likes how fucking creepy they look and how their mega evolution has teeth. It’s a very specific detail they will absolutely drill into why they like them so much. They also like how powerful they can be if used correctly!

Gooey: Goomy, female, body is shades of blue instead of purple, has a tongue that noticeably sticks out!!

He originally wanted Ditto but then they saw Goomy and felt a certain kind of love for them. He also couldn’t decide and the dice rolled female! He likes how the name is similar to his own and how they’re goopy like him!!! They’re also super squishy and he is too!!!!!!

Rick: Dedenne, male, tail is shorter, body is similar in color to him, has beans!!!!!!

He likes how they’re kinda hamster-esc!! They have electricity too which is hella cool. They look kinda soft to him and he was mildly upset over them not having paw beans and demanded that Dedenne be given justice by having them drawn in (Adeleine totally agrees to this). He likes to think they’re mega soft like himself!!!

Kine: Magikarp, male, slightly flatter, blue instead of orange, larger fins!!

He couldn’t choose a Pokemon and eventually just settled on Magikarp because he thought they’d be ok. Didn’t realize they evolve into such a big Pokemon until they saw what it looked like in one of the dungeons. The keep bragging about how powerful they’re gonna be when they finally evolve, but nobody is taking him seriously because he can only use 1 move as of now and hasn’t reached a point where he can evolve yet.

Coo: Hoothoot, male, body is purple instead of brown, has spiked feathers on his head, has a softer and fluffier appearance!!!!!

It’s an owl. He wanted to be an owl. He reeeeaaallly wants to evolve because Noctowl looks way cooler but he’s fine with what he’s got for now!!! He has a speed based build because he can fly very fast :)

Dark Meta Knight: Noibat, female, monochromatic colors with some red mixed in, mask with a scar, tattered wing membrane!!!

Purposefully decided on having a femal because he thinks it kicks ass a little more (also he loves his adopted daughter and decided that would be badass too). Built like a fucking assault tank but with speed. He absolutely leads the charge when he’s playing and takes every fucking hit possible if it’s aimed at his daughter. Gloats about his badass evolution and how fucking sick it looks despite having not evolved yet.

Daroach: Sneasel, male, wears a cloak and hat like his own, has yellow and longer claws!!!!

He didn’t like any of the existing rats and said “lemme get a thief pokemon” and settled on Sneasel. They have a team called the Squeak Squad and it’s comprised of his Sneasel and the squeaks own copies of the game! They play together in their free time and Daroach had Adeleine grab him a Sneasel so he could play on her copy too.

Magolor: Inkay, male, wears a blue cloak like his own, has yellow eyes!!! (The cloak doesn’t really fit until Inkay evolves)

Physically couldn’t choose and then someone showed him Inkay and he said “oh! I fucking hate them.” It was only until they showed him Malamar that he said “oh they look like they’d backstab someone. Perfect.” He likes how fucking ominous they look and how they would 100% be a supervillain given the chance. His Inkay is a good guy tho don’t worry.

Taranza: Joltik, male, has tiny fangs and little horns that grow out when they evolve, wears a cape, has little gloves on their hands!!!

He wanted Flabebe because of the flowers but was told someone already took that one and decided he’d take a spider Pokemon! Almost settled on Ariados but then saw Galvantula and got super excited. He likes their fuzzy look and thinks they are a lovely Pokemon!!

Susie: Gothita, female, eyes are gradient blue with no pupils, has pink accents on the head, more modern appearance!!

She couldn’t find any pretty ones with tech on them but liked Gothita! She thinks they look ok and Adeleine was nice enough to invite her over for PMD game day so she joined in. Her Gothita is surprisingly beastly and is a heavy hitter! However she also gets her ass kicked really fast because Gothita isn’t built for up close heavy hitting.

Zan Partizanne: Shinx, female, wears the same clothes as her, has more yellow on her!!

She really liked how Shinx looks. Tiny electric kitty puppy thing! She wanted to name it after some kind of thunder deity but wasn’t able to (she probably had a name for it tho). Speedy little powerhouse who looks adorable. Continues to tell Adeleine that she’s only doing this to repay her debt (and also for insulting her hairline) but is really just enjoying herself.

Flamberge: Fletchling, female, wears the hat and ribbon-like shawl, has spiked feathers that stick up a lot like her hair, more vibrant red!!!

She fucking loves this little bird. Like. A lot. Something about them is just so awesome to her. Maybe it’s because it evolves into a giant fire falcon but who knows! She just loves them and cherishes them with all her heart. BEGGED Adeleine to recruit them and managed to convince her (she had to offer up making her a cool sword to get it. Adeleine accepted the deal almost immediately because cool ass sword).

Francisca: Vanillite, female, wears the hat and shawl, has more vibrant blue, ice cream part is the same color as her hair!!!

You know exactly why she chose this one. Ice cream baby!!!!!!!! She thinks they’re lovely and wants a plush of them super bad (they don’t make them yet but merch happens eventually!). She jokes that they have an ice cream stash they live in.

Pitch: Pidgey, male, green in color!

He got to join in after the other animal friends told him! He’s good friends with Adeleine (all the animal friends are) and she let him pick a Pokemon! He doesn’t play as much because he has to use his little feet’s but he does his best!

Nago: Glameow, female, body is orange and the ears are brown! Eyes remain closed instead of open to reflect his design!

He wanted it to be a girl just because. He says it’s because it resembles his girlfriend a teensy bit (just in coat color really) and he loves her a lot. Little bastard cat causes trouble on adventures and purposefully runs off to look for the stairs by himself without any incentive from Adeleine.

Chuchu: Frillish, female, wears a small red ribbon and has a more vibrant pink body!!

Couldn’t choose originally but settled on Frillish because it’s the closest thing to her. Nicknamed it frilly and likes to cause problems. She’s got a pretty decent move set and knows how to kick ass with it tho so she makes up for her trouble with that.

Queen Ripple: Flabébé, female, wears glasses and has black ear frill things, wears her crown, and wears her dress!!! Flower is white!

She gets to play too!!!!! Adeleine offered to let her have a Pokemon and she plays though wireless connection! On a very rare occasion, she makes a trip out to Popstar for a week or so and gets to play during then! She has a lot of fun and adores the design for Flabébé so damn much (plus it’s fairy type and that makes her very happy)!!!

[hypnotixstorm]

[1/3]Hi! i'd like a FMA and Bleach matchup 👉👈? I'm a INFJ-T, female, Virgo sun, Libra moon, Pieces rising. I'm 5'11 and very insecure about my height, because of that I'm very awkward around others, when I'm awkward I DO NOT stop talking. I'm very shy and reserved, frankly judgmental with people I don't know. it’s something I'm trying to work on. those who I feel are trusting enough or even really worth of me as a friend, I cherish completely.I'd do anything to protect the people I care about

[2/3]I’m a little different around my friends, i'm much more bold and open with myself. I find myself to be a little annoying given how loud I can get. I like to pick on my friends, playfully of course. little pranks, stealing things only to give it back. I worry sometimes I go too far. but I trust they'd tell me that. I'm very protective over the people I care about, I've been told I 'mother' a lot. I enjoy artsy things, and I draw and write occasionally.

[3/3]Though I'm very critical of anything I'm interested in or create, not to mention obsessive. Once I'm interested in something I kind of suck the life out of it until I know everything about it, or just lose interest. I do tend to get clingy with people I care about though it's something i'm trying to work on. I do tend to procrastinate on things but motivations aren't hard to find for me. most say I have a shortish temper, but really I just have a variety of pet peeves. have a wonderful day!

Okay, so I’m sorry it’s taken me a little bit to get back to you! You gave me LOTS of information to work with and I had to do lots of research! I really wanted to make sure I matched you with the best possible people and I really think my picks are good ones! I hope you think so as well. Please make sure to let me know! I pair you with...

Okay so first up, we’ve got Mr. Jean Havoc from FMA!

I know, I know he’s a huge flirt and a ladies man, but he’s the type of guy who, once he’s with someone, he’s with THEM and drops his habits

Honestly? He loves your height! 

Dude, it’s seriously such a huge turn on 

He loves long legs and will literally drool over and worship them, no joke

Also, he thinks your nervous blabbering is rather endearing, as is your shy and reserved nature

I feel like Jean is also fond of pulling pranks on others as well and whenever you open up to him, the two of you will def work together to prank Mustang and the others

Or you’ll just have prank wars between each other, which honestly terrifies the entire group, because they will inevitably get caught up in it somehow

Jean would honestly be really invested in your hobbies

He’d want to see whatever it is you create or read whatever you write, doing his best to compliment it in an “artistic” way, but ultimately unable to say anything more than “Wow, this is great!”

Havoc could for sure handle your temper, he’s a really chill and laid back dude

He would DEFINITELY love the clinginess

It would probably be a huge ego boost for him actually

He’d want you by his side all the time anyways, can’t have anyone stealing his literal goddess

That’s his favorite nickname for you; Goddess

He is constantly calling you that, omg, it’s so cute because he really thinks your height gives you an ethereal aura

Jean is at a loss for words most of the time that you’re around, which is really unusual for him

But he doesn’t mind, in fact, it’s the opposite

This man really does worship you I s2g

Next up is Strawberry Boi, Ichigo!

I feel like at first, he wouldn’t really be bothered by your excessive talking, shy nature or your height

Honestly, he would probably say something to offend you because the poor boy is a bit oblivious at times

However, as soon as he realized he did it, he would be a mess and constantly apologizing

He’d also fight anyone who said anything to upset you

No seriously, you’d have to pull him off of them because he would not stop

Ichigo really cares about you and feels bad for anything and everything bad that happens to you and in your life

After the two of you have gotten together, he really appreciates your height

Tbh, he’s so used to having to look down at everyone around him that you’re really refreshing to be around

Not to mention the fact that he thinks your height is ‘powerful’ if that makes any sense

Like, it makes you exude an aura of power and authority and he thinks it’s hot

He really is understanding of the trust issues

He has his own emotional baggage that he has to deal with, so he doesn’t really hold it against you

I don’t feel like Ichigo really participates in pulling pranks with you, but he thinks they’re funny and he will joke around with you

Ichigo knows nothing of art or writing, all he can do is play guitar and sing, so I feel like the two of you write songs together/for each other, once you’ve been together for a while of course

It’s really adorable honestly

I feel like he’s the exact same way with his hobbies though. Very critical of his skills, both with singing and playing and he cycles through periods of obsession and disdain

So, you won’t really have to worry about him in that aspect. In fact, he’s right there with you, struggling just as badly

[toonstarterz]

BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #159

Another day, another chapter of Watamote to fill that hole in your heart.

The suspension arc continues on, and in what seems to be a reflection of characters’ emotions, it’s a slower chapter that on the surface, doesn’t offer much in terms of “progression”. Thankfully, my overly analytical mind is here to pick up all the delightful subtleties of our cast, and pick apart the unexpected, but welcome direction this series has set itself up to move towards. All aboard the Tomoko Train! 

Chapter 159: Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Still Be Suspended

Yeah, that figures. Suspension becomes a lot less stressful when you realize you’re too bored to be stressed. 

Not much else to say other than the lighting in this shot is absolutely gorgeous, ya’ll.

Sorry...I was distracted by Yoshida wearing a tie. By all accounts, it should not look as good on her as it does. Too bad we only get it for like 1 1/2 panels, but I’ll take what I can get.

♪ Wooooah, we’re halfway there! 

WOAH! Livin’ on a prayer! ♫

Just some more scenery porn courtesy of Niko. Her work has really come a long way.

I sure do love these unexpected pairings that get thrown our way from time to time. They may not be the matchups we wanted, but they’re sure as hell the ones we’ll undoubtedly love.

Tomoko at it again with the sick comebacks.

It may just be out of respect to her friend Komiyama, but I’d like to think that Itou secretly(?) would like to see Komi and Tomoko become closer. A true (friend)shipper on deck.

Ah, Itou. If nothing else, your friendship with Komiyama is the real deal if you can admit to all her lunacy.

I can’t help but love how Komiyama’s whole identity is 80% related to her glasses. No surprise since its a given fact that all meganekko girls are either super pure, or super perverted, and Komi has the distinct honor of being both.  

Good luck, Itou! Just play the Lottes theme song and you're guaranteed to bring at least one person to tears.

I wasn’t sure if Tomoko fully cleared up the whole “Tomoki is my brother” thing in the groping chapter, but the implication here is that Yoshida still doesn’t know. This is building up to what will surely be a hilarious revelation.

Guess we don’t have to worry about adding Itou into the Tomokibowl, huh? That would’ve been such a trainwreck. Makes you wonder who’s Itou’s type though...

As in, “Are you doing well?” or “Well, how are you?”. C’mon, Yuri, you gotta dial down the tsundere-ness and give your favorite idiot a little more context than that. 

Damn, Nemo was right on the money, wasn’t she? Even over LINE, she’s not afraid to play dirty.

Btw, I love how Tomoko’s expression doesn’t change at all while looking through the messages. Like her face is frozen from processing so many slaps in the face at once. 

I think this is the first Tomoko has been genuinely unnerved by Katou’s (s)mothering. Getting spoiled is a hot fantasy the first couple times, Tomoko. But once it starts bleeding into your everyday life, that’s when it starts getting a little creepy.

Let’s be honest. We all know who this is, right? 

Side note: How did she get Tomoko’s LINE number?

I wanna say it’s another Mako case where Okada sent her a message because of Nemo’s influence. Poor girl is falling down the rabbit hole.

Oooooh, Katou’s getting special treatment. In her defense, I don’t think it’s necessarily that Tomoko likes her best or anything. For one, Katou the only one whose message was fairly normal. But also, it’s easy to send a quick reply to someone you’re not as close with. Logically speaking, Tomoko would likely prefer to send more detailed responses to Yuri and Nemo because she’s closer to them. And she’ll probably ignore Ucchi entirely. 

Of course, logic has no place between girls fighting for dominance.

The first time we get to see Katou’s inner thoughts and...it’s nothing special.

I wasn’t expecting to see a monologue of deep-rooted insecurities or anything. That’s not this series’ thing. If anything, that mundaneness works to Katou’s advantage because it shows that while she may be incredibly attractive on the outside, she’s just a regular person with simple concerns on the inside. If they’re really going to take Katou’s affection on Tomoko into romantic territory, it’s a good place to start.

The Cuck Sisters have graduated into the Ghosted Sisters.

I’m sure Katou isn’t trying to arrogant about being the only one to get a reply. I mean, anyone would have a bit of an ego boost from that. 

But I’m sorry, Katou. There’s just one small thing you have to realize...

...finding out that your girl was out seeing other people is the initiation for entering the Tomoko harem.

Poor Itou. Girl was just minding her own business and now she finds herself in the middle of the moshpit. 

On that note, I absolutely love the composition of this panel. Even though the line of sight is directed at Itou, Katou’s stance draws in your full attention. Even more amazing is how having these six specific people in the frame adds to the overall intensity. We having Tomoko’s old friends, new friends, and acquaintances all together for the same discussion, and it really emphasizes just how much Tomoko’s influence has affected the whole classroom dynamic.

Small tidbit, but I appreciate that Yuri asked about Yoshida, too. Those two haven’t had many scenes alone together lately since the pachinko parlor moment, and it would sure be nice to more of their relationship outside of Tomoko. 

Ucchi’s teleportation powers always gets a good laugh out of me. I also like how the very first thing she asks is if Tomoko’s creepy, like she needs that confirmation to validate even being there. Girl needs to start coming up with better excuses.

Having Ucchi and Futaki in the same panel always feels so unreal to me. I feel like if the two of them starting talking to each other, the universe would implode upon itself. 

Ucchi:

I like the direction they took this. It would have been very easy for Komiyama to pretend she doesn’t care a la tsunderism. But nope. Komiyama only has a mild interest in how Tomoko’s doing, letting Yuu act as a proxy for them. Even if Tomoko and Komiyama don’t care much about each other, their history belies this odd level of intimacy.

Alright, alright, you got me Nico Tanigawa.

...Poor Minami. 

I think its a merit to the mangaka’s storytelling skills that we can easily infer that Mako’s talking about Yoshida. Between Mako being who she is, Yoshida being who she is, and their growing friendship gaining attention, who else could it be?

That’s...kind of sad, honestly. We’ve seen several times just how clingy Minami is to her (one-sided) friendships, but never have we seen her sound so dependent on others. It’s been hinted at before, but being a bitch is the one thing Minami’s good at, and she might actually know that. She may act stuck-up on the outside, but the fact that’s she’s so upfront about it may actually mask a bit of an inferiority complex.  

Curse you, Nico Tanigawa, for making Minami a three-dimensional character with legitimate wants and fears.

I’m glad Mako isn’t mentioning her by name. She knows Minami enough that outting her friend will lead to harm.

On Minami.

Tomoko’s triangle mouth is unironically cute. There, I said it.

Character development for Yoshida, whaaaaaat?

Let’s face it. The trio of Tomoko, Yuri, and Yoshida are all slackers in some way, shape, or form. It makes sense that Yoshida would be the last of them to put any real effort into her future. Since she isn’t the type to make personal changes just because someone told her to, the reasonable way to make Yoshida understand is through observance. As thick-headed as she is, Miss Yoshida is not about to be left in the lurch while her buddies move on without her.

Between this and my recent watching of Aggretsuko S2 (shameless plug!), it’s become apparent to me that getting a driver’s license isn’t as “mandatory” there as it is in my country. I’d imagine it has to do with the work environment there being so focused on public transit, but feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

Tomoko actually makes a solid point there, though I get the feeling she’s imagining Yoshida driving getaway cars for the yakuza or something. 

Or, you know, her chauffeur. 

Ignoring the somewhat obvious advertisement for a vehicle that I’m sure was blacked out in the original version, this is totally setting itself up for the next arc of Watamote. As summer vacation gets closer and closer, I was wondering just how Tomoko was going to spend it. She obviously can’t stay at home the whole time like she did in the past, so I was thinking she’d end up doing things with her friends like working part-time jobs, going to a festival, or in this case, a road trip.

Bring on the Road Trip Arc!

Oh, I get it. Tomoko did the whole “min-na” thing that slice-of-life moe anime girls do when talking about their friends, right? 

Traitor.

I’m joking, of course, but only partially. It’s clear to us all that Tomoko feels like she’s betraying a part of herself for saying something so bubbly. It was a direction I had anticipated to some degree when Tomoko began making self-deprecating jokes about becoming a normie. It was always in that “haha, like that could ever happen” tone, but it was only a matter of time before Tomoko started to become the mask. It’s scary to think you might subconsciously be changing a core part of yourself, and that realization is something Tomoko will eventually have to come to terms with.

At least we get her most adorable, genuine blush ever thanks to this.

Damn, expulsion for driving a vehicle? What’s with this school and it’s beef with having your own set of wheels?

Ah, saving up for a car. The first glimpse into Tomoko’s (and everyone else’s) efforts at adulting. 

To get the obvious out of the way, no I don’t think Mako and Yoshida are naked in this panel. While Nico Tanigawa have shown that they’re not above very mild levels of fanservice, I don’t think they’d resort to something this teasing.

Probably. 

Anyways, there isn’t anything necessarily wrong with Yoshida’s decision. Taking things slow is very much in line with her character. Sure, it’s kind of inconsiderate of Yoshida to flippantly go the other way after asking for help, and Mako’s frustration is understandable. But more importantly, it highlights Mako influence on Yoshida, and the Kyoto Group in general.

When it’s just Tomoko, Yuri, and Yoshida, they have a unique bond where they don’t really try to push each other out of their comfort zones. Yoshida especially, for being so damn stubborn. But when you add Mako into the mix, a.k.a. the “Mom Friend”, suddenly the level of morale and effort within the group rises. And as the most “normal” friend, Mako’s existence helps to keep their friendship from growing stagnant.

As the Suspension Arc continues, the lack of “action” gives the cast some room for a little introspection. The gags themselves may have been on the limited side, but a lot of these set-up chapters usually are. The future is near, folks, and there are no signs of slowing down, for the characters or the series itself. Changes are over the horizon, but for now, the journey continues.

[aurorapillar]

Title: in languor dreams of death    

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Characters: Chuuya Nakahara, Dazai Osamu, Mori Ougai

Summary: There were a lot of things in life that Dazai would never admit out loud, and one of them was just how much Corruption terrified him.

There were a lot of things in life that Dazai would never admit out loud, and one of them was just how much Corruption terrified him. He wasn't scared of it for the same reason that most people probably would be, thanks to his ability he had no need to worry about Chuuya's ability harming him, no what scared him was the way Chuuya changed when using Corruption.

The fact that Chuuya was an incredibly important person to him was another fact that Dazai would never admit out loud; the two of them had gotten off to a rough start and Dazai was well aware he'd done many things that had hurt Chuuya, yet despite that the two of them had managed to build a strong bond. It was a different type of bond than the one Dazai had shared with Odasaku, Oda had been a sturdy port in the middle of a storm, a medley of warm and gentle colors, a beacon of safety; he'd been Dazai's best friend and a teacher of sorts.

Things with Chuuya, on the other hand, had been much more volatile; he was all vibrant colors and burning passion, everything he had he'd fought to obtain and keep, teeth bared and claws sharp. He valued straightforwardness and hated manipulation and trickery, yet ofttimes kept his own feelings and intelligence hidden behind a mask of insults, bluster, and impulsiveness. Above all, he was loyal to a fault and so very human, an irony that wasn't lost on anyone in the know about his origins.

All in all he and Dazai were polar opposites, and yet, in the end, they were both children who'd been forced to become adults way too soon, only able to ever act their real age with each other. Just two lost boys who'd managed to find a home and family in each other.

And yet, whenever Chuuya activated Corruption, that vibrant boy disappeared. All of his fire and personality gone in a matter of moments, replaced by nothing but an endless abyss of rage and destruction. When in his corrupted state, Chuuya had no friends or allies, he would focus on the last task Chuuya had thought of before activating his power and then, once that was done he'd turn his rage on whatever else was around him. If you were unlucky enough to get in his path….

Well, there was a good reason Double Black was so feared by the Mafia's enemies.

Dazai remembered all too well the first time Corruption had been activated, it had only been a few months since they'd been partnered together and the two of them had been taking down a small organization that had been encroaching on Mafia territory. Or well, Chuuya had been taking them down while Dazai had been playing on his handheld and returning Chuuya’s insults with snide remarks. Ever since the debacle with the Sheep, Mori had been much quicker to shut down any new groups that popped up in the Mafia’s territory; most of them were unlikely to ever get strong enough to pose a threat, but that was also what they'd once thought about the Sheep.

The night had been going well, the organization was pathetically weak and Chuuya was easily dominating the scene, leaving the grunts they'd brought as backup with little to do but watch. Then the ability user had shown up and everything began to fall apart.

According to the information they had on the group, there weren't any ability users among them, and yet there one was tossing around bolts of electricity like an oversized battery charger. It was a bad matchup for Chuuya, gravity had no effect on electricity and the constant barrage of sparks kept the boy from getting close enough to physically attack the man. Unfortunately, the other ability user wasn't having any of the same problems and Dazai couldn't hold back from clicking his tongue in annoyance as a bolt slammed Chuuya into a crate near where he'd been sitting.

While Chuuya shook off the electricity still coursing over his body, their Mafia backup open fire on the enemy, only for each bullet to shot down by a bolt of lightning, the shooters soon being shot down themselves as the ability user turned his attention towards them. Unlike Chuuya, who after a minute or so had managed to shake off the effects of the hit and get up again, none of the men rose. They did however twitch, but Dazai was fairly certain that was due to the electricity running through their bodies and not because any of them were still alive.

Chuuya had stared at the bodies, his face a mixture of horror and anger that Dazai wouldn't truly understand until years later after Odasaku died, his eyes seemed to linger especially one sandy-haired man who Dazai vaguely recalled he'd seen Chuuya hanging out with before. What had been his name again? Nishi? Nishiki? Something like that, Dazai didn't really remember, he only remembered the man's face because he'd been very loud in his determination to be Chuuya's friend. Not that that would be happening now.

"You…" It was the deep guttural growl in Chuuya's voice as he spoke that had torn Dazai's attention away from thoughts of dead bodies and foolish attempts at friendship. Turning his gaze back to the boy his eyes widened in surprise, a rare occurrence, as a dark red pattern began to crawl it's way up Chuuya's arms and neck and his pupils shrunk to pinpricks. His mouth opened in a feral roar and Dazai watched in fascination as he charged towards the ability user, the ground cracking beneath his feet with each step. For a moment a panic expression appeared on the other man's face, before twisting into a sneer as he shot a bolt of lightning at Chuuya, only for his face to become one of shock as the boy easily dodged it.

Within seconds Chuuya was on the man, or rather the man was on Chuuya as the boy hit with enough force to smash the right half of his torso to pieces, blood and guts splattering everywhere. As he fell to his knees, a scream of pure agony on his lips, a dark orb began to form in Chuuya's hand before being thrust right into his face. The force of whatever it was would have probably sent the corpse flying backwards through the wall if it was for the simple fact that there was no corpse left to go flying, it had been obliterated, along with a good portion of the floor.

"Well, well," Dazai had drawled, clapping softly as he finally stood "Quite the trick you have there, I wonder if Mori knows you've been holding out on us? " There was no response to his taunt, causing Dazai to frown "Ignoring me? That's not very nice Chibi~" He'd pouted, only to stop short as Chuuya lifted his head and let out a terrifying laugh; it wasn't a sound Dazai had ever heard come out of him before and he couldn't stop the fear that gripped his heart for a second.

Chuuya slowly turned towards him, his eyes vacant of any recognition and it became clear to Dazai that whatever was going on, Chuuya was not the one in control. He didn’t have any time to dwell on that though as his partner lunged forward, sending a ball of dark energy flying straight at him; there was no time to dodge and so Dazai took a moment to ponder on whether or not death via obliteration would be painless before losing the chance to find out as his ability nullified the attack.

As disappointing as that was it had made one thing clear, whatever was going on with Chuuya was part of his ability, meaning he just needed to touch him to stop it. That was easier said than done of course, even without his ability Chuuya tended to be faster than him, so he'd have to catch him off guard; and the sooner he did so the better considering the blood Dazai could see beginning to drip from Chuuya's mouth and nose. It seemed Chuuya's body was not equipped to handle whatever was happening to him for very long.

Fortunately Chuuya's attention seemed to have drifted from him following his attack, and he now seemed to be focused on destroying as much of his surroundings as possible. Wasting no time Dazai had dashed forward, wrapping his fingers around the back of Chuuya's neck just like he had during their first meeting, and as he did so the marks on his partner's skin slowly receded and he'd collapsed backwards into to Dazai’s arms.

"Dazai?" The boy's voice was shaky and questioning, but he wasn't able to get more than a word out before he erupted in a fit of thick wet coughs, blood splattering his lips and dripping down pale skin. For the second time that night Dazai felt a hint of fear as he quickly turned Chuuya on his side so he hopefully wouldn't choke on his own blood, the boy was worryingly pale and his skin was cold and clammy to the touch, his breath coming in harsh wet bursts as his coughing fit died down.

"Oi Chuuya, come on don't make me carry you back to headquarters. You know, for such a tiny thing you weigh a ton, I think you're getting fat." His taunt brought no response from the smaller boy other than a slight fluttering of eyelashes as his eyes started to drift closed. "Chuuya! CHUUYA!" Dazai's voice was panicked as his hand scrambled for Chuuya's neck in search of a pulse, it was slow and threads but it was there, which drew a sigh of relief from his lips.

Reassured that for the moment at least Chuuya was alive, Dazai reached for his cellphone to call for a pickup and a doctor, his mind absently noting that his hands were covered in blood, Chuuya's blood. It seemed like an eternity that he waited there, Chuuya’s head resting on his lap, the slight rise and fall of his chest the only evidence he was still alive.

When Mori strolled through the door finally, it was the most realized he had ever been to see the man; he had no idea how desperate he'd sounded over the phone to make Port Mafia's boss himself come down, but judging by the slight widening of the man's eyes, the scene he'd come across was not what he'd been expecting.

The man knelt down next to the two of them, a frown playing on his lips as he reached out to check Chuuya's pulse,

"What happened?" He questioned, and it was only the knowledge that Chuuya would soon be getting medical attention and that it was dangerous to show weakness in front of Mori, that allowed Dazai to compose himself and answer.

Mori hummed thoughtfully as he finished, his eyes lit up with both interest and excitement, whatever his thoughts were on the matter though, he didn't share and Dazai was too tired to try to figure them out at the moment. Mori stood and motioned one of the men he'd brought with him to pick up Chuuya, only too narrow his eyes thoughtfully as Dazai swooped in before them and gathered his partner in his arms.

At that moment though Dazai didn't care what conclusions Mori drew from his actions, all he cared about was the realization that he'd gotten far more attached to the red-haired boy then intended and he didn't plan to leave his side until he was awake and back to annoying him.

In the end, it took a whole week before Chuuya woke, and as much as he hated hospitals Dazai had stuck by his side the whole time, only leaving to eat and shower. Mori had been a frequent visitor as well, at one point commenting that Chuuya was probably only still unconscious because it had been the first time using that power and he'd probably wake up quicker after subsequent uses, which had set off alarm bells in Dazai's head.

Those alarm bells had quickly turned into sirens after Chuuya had woken up and Mori had expressed his intentions to weaponize his ability, which had been dubbed Corruption, for the good of the Mafia. Dazai hadn’t missed the flinch and look of fear in Chuuya's eyes at that declaration, and had silently promised the boy that he'd only ever factor it into their plans as a last resort.

There had been nothing he could do about the numerous training sessions Mori required them to have though, all he could do was stand on the sidelines and wait until he needed to turn off Chuuya’s ability and carry him to the infirmary. Unlike the first time, he never stayed by Chuuya’s bed until he woke up, it would be dangerous for both of them if Mori realized Dazai actually cared about his partner. And hadn’t that been a shock for Dazai to realize, that he did care about Chuuya; as infuriatingly annoying as the boy was, he’d brought a sense of variety to his life and while it didn’t fill the emptiness in him, it was something he didn’t want to lose.

Thankfully it seemed Mori had been correct in assuming Chuuya would wake quicker as his body got used to using Corruption, by the time Chuuya had activated it five times he was down to only about three days of unconsciousness afterward, though of course he still remained stuck in bed drugged up on pain medications for several more days.

Despite all the time spent practicing though, it wasn’t until the Dragon’s Head Conflict that Corruption was finally purposefully used in a mission. Given that it had been the death of a friend that had caused Chuuya to unlock the power in the first place, Dazai supposed it was only fitting that it was the death of more friends that caused him to choose on his own to use it in a battle for the first time.

Since Chuuya's desire for revenge went along nicely with Dazai's own plans, he had happily stood aside and watched the widespread destruction with fascination, the many times he'd trained Corruption with Chuuya couldn't compare to watching him use it uninhibited. All it had taken was a matter of moments for entire buildings to be demolished and Dazai was left with a sudden understanding of what the destruction of Suribachi City must have been like.

He only let Chuuya rampage for a few minutes before wrapping his fingers around the boy's wrist and canceling out his ability, they didn't want to end up destroying all of Yokohama after all. Scooping his partner's hat up off the ground, he spun it idly on his finger, gazing around at the destruction surrounding them.

"My my, I'd say that's a job well done, wouldn't you Chibi?" He commented, not really expecting a response; it was clear that Chuuya was barely hanging on to conscious. Sighing loudly, Dazai stopped spinning the hat, instead placing it on his own head so his hands were free to pick Chuuya up in a princess carry. "Hmm, maybe we'll get a raise for this?" He muttered to himself, beginning what he considered a far too long walk to find a ride.

As it turned out, not only was a raise in store for both of them, Chuuya had managed to net himself a promotion to Executive thanks to his actions. It was a bittersweet victory, as an Executive Dazai knew Chuuya had finally gained the chance to look through his files and gain much sought after answers about his past, but now that Mori had gotten a definite taste of what the two of them could do together, they would no doubt be sent out on more and more missions together with instructions to use Corruption.

As usual, Dazai's prediction turned out to be correct.

It wasn't all bad though, Chuuya was a fun partner to work with, not that Dazai would ever tell him that, and bugging him often led to funny stories he could tell Oda and Ango. Chuuya's body also seemed to adjust better to using Corruption, he’d still cough up blood and blackout after using it, but his time spent unconscious had greatly decreased and he was usually out of the hospital within a few days. Sometimes he was out even sooner then that if he had his way; of course when Dazai had proudly told him that he was getting almost as good at escaping hospitals as he was, he’d only received a punch to the gut as thanks, which he found rather rude.

Even with the good points though Dazai still couldn't claim to be happy, he still felt empty, but he supposed he was as close to content as he could be until he either found a reason for living or successfully managed to kill himself.

Then Oda had died and everything changed.

Leaving the Mafia was simultaneously harder and easier then Dazai had thought it would be. With Odasaku dead and Ango revealed to be a spy, there wasn't much of anything left to emotionally tie him to the organization. Really only Chuuya was left, and while he'd probably miss the angry little hat rack, it was far to easy for Dazai to come up with reasons for himself why leaving his partner behind was fine. He'd always been good at lying.

Chuuya was happy in the Mafia, he liked it there, he wouldn't want to come along with Dazai even if he asked. Besides they hated each other, they were always fighting, why would he even want him to come along? Chuuya would be better off without him anyway, Mori wouldn't be able to make him use Corruption anymore so he'd be safe and happy while Dazai focused on becoming a good man for Oda's sake.

They say if you repeat a lie enough times it will become true, and while that in itself was certainly a lie, it was easy enough to make yourself think it was true if you kept it up. And so Dazai easily pushed his regrets to the side and left without a backwards glance.

But then Chuuya came down those stairs four years later and suddenly it wasn't so easy to ignore those long pushed aside regrets. Being on the side that saved people had made a difference in Dazai's life and he didn't regret making that choice, but as he slid back into the old pattern of bantering with his former partner, he couldn't help but wonder if he should have given Chuuya the chance to make that choice as well.

Despite having not wanted to join in the first place, Chuuya had slid into the Mafia like a well-oiled gear, his inclusion helped things run smoothly and it was like he'd always belonged there. But was he happy? He should be, if there was anything in the Mafia that would make him unhappy it would be being used as a weapon, and with Dazai not there to make Corruption an option, that couldn't happen.

Still, as he watched his old partner's back disappear out of the dungeon, he couldn't help but wonder if he'd made a mistake.

[crystalelemental]

FE Fates Replay - Weapons

I decided to do this separately, instead of injecting it into the story parts.  I’m trying to leave the story and characters separate from gameplay stuff, but weapons in this game were handled really badly.

First thing’s first: weapons are now unbreakable.  Except healing staves, because fuck you I guess.  Seriously, why are they the ONE THING that breaks?  Complete and utter horseshit.  Anyway, this single change has a major ripple effect throughout the entire game, and it’s not a positive one.  It’s time for me to sit back in my rocking chair and ramble on to you kids about the good old days when your shit just broke all the fucking time.

To some of you, that statement may sound facetious or insane, depending on whether you think I’m serious.  I am serious, but that’s not the point.  The point is, I’m right about this.  See, breakable weapons had all sorts of benefits.  For instance, if you had a tank, you could break the weapon of the boss that sat on a throne, and have weaker units hit them repeatedly for minor damage to farm out some levels, without having to have random encounters, or risk your life in arena.  Breakable weapons also meant that you could bring a weapon with 1 hit left, guaranteeing that an enemy would barely survive so a weaker enemy could finish the job.  They weren’t substantial effects, but they were smaller and more helpful effects.

Now, the core weapons are still here.  Brass weapon, which is really light and very not strong.  Iron weapon, a bit stronger, but kinda your “standard” weapon type.  Steel, which is heavier and stronger.  And Silver, which is the strongest of all.  To really understand what I’m getting at, we’re gonna have to talk about old mechanics.  See, back in the day, characters had a stat called “constitution.”  Constitution determined essentially how much weight you could handle on your weapon.  So, let’s say an Iron Lance was 6 weight.  A Knight, who would have really high constitution, would be able to wield it no problem.  But a Pegasus Knight, which had, say, a constitution of 4, would struggle.  To account for this, you would take the difference between the weapon’s weight and your constitution, and subtract that from the unit’s speed.  Essentially, a Pegasus Knight would have high speed, but couldn’t afford to power up to Steel weapons without a severe speed penalty.  But, a character like a Mercenary, who tends to have higher constitution, would be able to wield a Steel weapon without said penalty.  It was another component of distinguishing units.  Some could easily use Steel without a drawback, some couldn’t and needed to use weaker weapons to play to their strengths with double-strikes and higher evasion.

Silver weapons, in these days, were invaluable.  They had higher might than even Steel weapons, but weight wasn’t as bad.  They were stronger and lighter than their steel counterparts, and were considered the ultimate in standard weaponry.  Their downsides, however, were two-fold.  One, they were expensive.  If you didn’t have a lot of money, you probably didn’t have many of them.  This was a more minor drawback, but it existed just the same.  Two, durability.  Steel weapons tended to have 30 durability.  Silver had 20.  They’d break fast, especially in the hands of faster units that didn’t have the best attack stat.  You basically got 10 rounds of combat out of them, and with only five inventory slots, you needed to be carrying more weapons, which meant less support items.

Now, consider what would happen if you kept those weapons, but removed durability.  Suddenly, such a system doesn’t work.  Cost is no longer a problem, because you only need to ever buy one, and durability is removed, both negating how many you need to carry and freeing up inventory space.  Clearly, the Silver weapons are now, maybe, a bit too good?  So, how do you balance this out?  Fates decided to fiddle with stats outright.  Much like with the hidden daggers, stat changes were kind of a fixation for this game, for better or worse.  I, personally, think it needlessly complicated a lot of things, but that’s not important.  What is important is how Fates handled this.

Steel Weapons universally give a -5 Speed penalty.  That’s enough that, if you had even speed, the enemy now double-strikes you.  Now, Steel was heavy enough in previous games that this feels pretty similar, but without the convolution of having to know how Constitution works.  I can respect the attempt.  But what we lost was the distinction for sturdier units that still had a speed stat.  Mercenaries can’t really use Steel anymore.  There’s a heavy stat penalty for that, and they use speed a lot.  Silver weapons got hit as well.  Now you lose attack and skill when you attack.  It’s less severe, at only two points of loss, but they recover only one point per turn.  So you’re still taking a hit to both damage, and likelihood of hitting in the first place.  Considering that skills exist and many activate off of your skill stat, that’s even more significant.

But here’s what really gets me.  S-rank weapons, the ultimate weapons of their type, the ones you can only wield effectively if you’ve spent the entire game mastering the weapon.  They have penalties as well.  For instance, the S-rank katana halves your strength stat through your next action.  The weapon itself has 18 might, which is pretty good, but if your Strength is capped, you probably lost as much damage as the weapon’s might.  At that point, you’re better off with Brass than you are this thing.  The sheer, overwhelming deficits inflicted on the player by these stronger weapons is outrageous, and it leads into my problem with forging.

Forging an Iron weapon is the smartest action you can take.  Why?  Because you buff up your weapon damage quite a lot, maybe not to the point of the Silver and certainly not to the level of the S-rank weapons.  But there’s no draw-backs on them.  So instead of hurting your ability to hit enemies or activate skills, you just have raw damage.  Instead of halving your strength stat, you just...get the damage.  It’s an outright better weapon than the ultimate S.  And so, the best weapon in Fates isn’t the thing you’ve been building toward getting that you only obtain in the final hour as you approach the ultimate boss of your route.  It’s the simple Iron weapon, upgraded through dozens of artificial stones you collected in My Castle and paid for with a dozen copies of the same weapon and hundreds of thousands of gold you farmed.

So that’s why I hate the weapons in Fates.  That is, without question, the thing that holds the gameplay back.  Because you didn’t really...need these deficits, you know?  You could’ve done just fine without them.  But no, if we did that, why would anyone need to collect resources?  If no one needed to collect resources, why would they visit other castles?  If you won’t visit other castles, then why even offer that?  Exactly, why even offer that?  My Castle was an arbitrary idea that they generated, and tied into core gameplay mechanics in a way that does nothing but drastically slow down progress through the plot.  It’s invasive and unnecessary, and it really, really bothers me.

BONUS ROUND

I’m also gonna complain about the weapon triangle!  In the olden times, by which I mean Awakening, the triangle was simple.  Swords beat Axe, Axe beat Lance, Lance beat Sword.  Easy.  Tomes have historically had some weapon triangle of their own.  In older times, Light beat Dark, Dark beat Anima, Anima beat Light.  In the Radiant games, it was Fire, Wind, and Lightning in a similar deal.  But tomes have always been outside of the weapon triangle.  Why is that?  Well, two reasons.  One is that tomes are problem solvers.  Got a physical wall in the way?  Blast it with magic.  The other is that, despite being said problem solver, mages are frail, and having no strength against a particular weapon means that they go down to about any physical fighter that gets in range.  Archers especially are devastating for mages, because they hit the weaker defensive stat and are also ranged fighters.

Now, though?  Now, tomes are included in the weapon triangle, as just a whole thing.  All tomes are good against bows now for some reason, while they’re weak to daggers.  This means that ninja, who tend to have pretty good resistance, become hard counters to mages.  Which is honestly okay.  I don’t really dislike the idea of having things be able to beat mages.  Apparently, in the times before I got into the series, magic was horrifically overpowered.  But now, we run into some problems.

Dagger users have range, weaken enemy defenses, and have high resistance and speed.  Unless your unit is physically sturdy, strong, and skilled, ninjas win out.  So personally?  I kinda felt like they were a bit much in this game the first time I played.  Maybe I’ll think differently as I go through now, but they really felt like the most powerful unit.  But the more devastating thing is that...Lance and Dagger occupy the same category.  Meaning lances have advantage over tome.  Meaning that Generals, the super physical tanks that can only really be handled by mages, have fucking weapon advantage over mages now.  Brilliant work, Fates, expertly done.

Bows being in the weapon triangle also bothers me.  Mages have advantage there too, so Bows have less of a chance.  Ninjas took their main niche.  Oh, except for dealing with flying units.  But flying units are mostly lance and axes, so no change there, at least.  It just feels arbitrary.

Honestly, I think Heroes did this concept a lot better.  Tomes come in different kinds, and they have advantage over one another, but also are strong against a particular melee weapon.  Daggers and bows are considered outside of the weapon triangle, so the weird matchups no longer exist.  Now, if only the next game can confirm that healers can attack, we’ll be in real business...

[wsmith215]

Canelo to PBC? Spence to Top Rank? What if there were trades in boxing?

Apr 22, 2020

Steve KimESPN

Boxing isn’t a league. It is one industry, but it’s fractured and divided due to the different promotional companies. Because of this, many of the sport’s best matchups are either delayed beyond the moment when they’d make the biggest impact or simply go by the wayside.

Promotional rivalries and network alliances are now as entrenched in the sport as 12-round championship fights and three-minute rounds. The promotion that represents a fighter determines their future fight options. Depending on their circumstances and the other fighters under the same banner, they could be right in the mix for big fights or left out looking for a matchup that will provide the profile-raising push that is most desperately needed.

But consider a scenario in which promotional entities in the sport would make trades in the same way they are done in MLB, the NFL and the NBA, where the talent can be acquired for both the benefit of the athletes and the franchise.

With that in mind, here are five fantasy trades between boxing’s major promotional companies — and fantasy is what they are, so take care not to take this too seriously — that would benefit the sport as a whole and those involved.

Vasiliy Lomachenko and Miguel Berchelt (Top Rank) for Errol Spence Jr. (Premier Boxing Champions)Vasiliy Lomachenko, pictured, against Gervonta Davis could be a great fight at lightweight. Richard Heathcote/Getty Images

How will the trade benefit Lomachenko? Lomachenko is a three-division world titleholder who has captured major titles at featherweight, junior lightweight and lightweight. During this stretch of time, he has earned acclaim as one of the premier fighters in the sport. The biggest thing that has eluded Lomachenko is that one career-defining victory. Yes, there is talk of a showdown with fellow lightweight titlist Teofimo Lopez Jr., which would certainly count as a significant, high-profile bout, but who knows when that fight will actually come to fruition, if at all, in 2020.

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By being traded to the PBC, Lomachenko has a “Tank” awaiting him in Gervonta Davis, another blue-chip talent at 135 who has become a legitimate draw and owns a secondary title. By throwing in Berchelt in the deal, the current WBC junior lightweight world titlist, you have another well-known opponent whom the winner of this fight can face down the line.

How will this help Berchelt? For Berchelt, the longest reigning titleholder at 130, and one of the most physically imposing fighters in the sport, this puts him in alignment with fellow titlist Leo Santa Cruz, who currently holds the WBA “super” belt at junior lightweight. A fight between Berchelt and Santa Cruz would be a fun shootout. But the matchup that is really intriguing, and perhaps more enticing to the public at large, would be a bout against Davis, who twice held a title at junior welterweight and is now campaigning as a lightweight. Berchelt-Davis is one of the best pure fights that can be made at 135.

How will the trade benefit Spence? This trade opens the door for Spence to finally face Terence Crawford, the reigning WBO welterweight titleholder. Simply put, a matchup between Spence — who holds the IBF and WBC belts at 147 — and Crawford is one of the best fights to be made in all of boxing.

How do the companies benefit? Both Top Rank and PBC immediately get to make pay-per-view fights that both please boxing fans and succeed at the box office.

Fights we’d like to see: Lomachenko vs. Davis and Spence vs. Crawford.

Canelo Alvarez (Golden Boy Promotions) for Gervonta Davis and Leo Santa Cruz (PBC)Lightweight titlist Gervonta Davis is considered a future pay-per-view star. Scott Taetsch/Getty Images

How will Canelo benefit? After Canelo, who currently holds titles at middleweight and super middleweight, signed an incredibly lucrative $350 million deal with DAZN in 2018, for one reason or another things have gone sour between Golden Boy and their star client. It’s clear Canelo wants a change of scenery.

Waiting for Canelo at PBC is Jermall Charlo, the current WBC middleweight titlist. If Canelo decides to settle in at 168, he has a few options in WBC belt-holder David Benavidez and IBF titlist Caleb Plant, who would both be enticing matchups and give Canelo an opportunity to add more quality names to his ledger. Both fights are very marketable, but really, isn’t everything involving Canelo?

How will Davis and Santa Cruz benefit? Both can still fight one another, just on a different platform, and there is fertile ground between 130 and 135 to make various fights.

At Golden Boy, a fight between Santa Cruz and Joseph “JoJo” Diaz would be a very interesting, all-Southern California battle that would do well at the box office. And at 135 — where “Tank” Davis currently resides — there is Ryan Garcia, the 2017 prospect of the year, and a matchup between the two would certainly be a must-see fight. Davis and Garcia have been jawing back and forth on social media the past several months, but due to their current promotional ties, there are significant hurdles that exist. Under this trade, there really are none.

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How do the companies benefit? For PBC, it’s simple: It gains the services of one of the biggest attractions in the sport. Given its Fox deal, PBC is still very much in the pay-per-view business and now has someone such as Canelo to anchor that platform at least twice a year. As for Golden Boy, it gets a chance to move on from a seemingly unhappy Alvarez and work with one of the brightest young stars in the sport and a longtime champion.

Two fights we’d like to see: Canelo vs. Charlo and Davis vs. “JoJo” Diaz.

Manny Pacquiao (PBC) for Devin Haney and Callum Smith (Matchroom)At 41, welterweight world titleholder Manny Pacquiao can still compete with anybody at 147 pounds. Apu Gomes/Getty Images

How will Pacquiao benefit? While most of the marquee welterweights are under the PBC umbrella, it’s clear Pacquiao and his management are looking for the biggest money fight possible — and that might mean going to the Middle East, where Matchroom Boxing promoter Eddie Hearn now does business. Money talks, and if the price is right, Hearn will be able to entice a well-known dance partner to Saudi Arabia.

Mikey Garcia, who is now with Matchroom, has yearned for a fight against Pacquiao and he is a well-known figure to most boxing fans. A dark-horse candidate would be Regis Prograis, a top junior welterweight. Prograis, while not technically a Matchroom fighter, was scheduled to face Maurice Hooker on a DAZN card on April 17. Promoted by DiBella Entertainment, he’s the type of boxer who has the flexibility to make a deal for such a fight, and Hearn has shown a willingness to reach across the aisle and make fights with rival promoters.

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How will Haney and Smith benefit? Haney is one of the best young natural talents in the sport, and at just 21, his future is bright. Right now, he is having problems enticing the other lightweight belt-holders to face him, but eventually, he’ll move up in weight. His career could very well get the same type of push Spence and Davis got from PBC. As for Smith, the WBA “super” champion at 168, his career has stalled since winning the World Boxing Super Series in 2018. This is a chance for him to get in the ring with the other super middleweight belt-holders Benavidez and Plant.

How do the companies benefit? PBC gets younger. For as iconic as Pacquiao is, 41 is 41. At a certain point, you always look to get younger with your roster, don’t you? Pacquiao is not the pay-per-view draw he once was, but it’s all relative. He matchups very well with everyone else currently in the division. The reality is that he is still one of the biggest attractions in the sport. When Pacquiao performs, it transcends boxing because of his global popularity, and it’s very much an international event.

Two fights we’d like to see: Pacquiao vs. Garcia and Smith vs. Benavidez

Three-way trade: Terence Crawford (Top Rank) to PBC, David Benavidez (PBC) to Golden Boy and Vergil Ortiz and Alexis Rocha (Golden Boy) to Top RankWelterweight titleholder Terence Crawford, pictured, needs a signature fight against the best fighters in the division such as Manny Pacquiao and Errol Spence Jr. Bradley Kanaris/Getty Images

How will Crawford benefit? Crawford is atop many pound-for-pound lists, but the fights the public yearns for have eluded him at welterweight since he won the WBO title from Jeff Horn in 2018. Good competition against PBC fighters such as Pacquiao, Spence and Porter would be must-see fights in the welterweight division.

How will Benavidez benefit? There will come a time when Canelo will settle in as a full-time super middleweight, and by being with Golden Boy, it makes this particular bout against Canelo much easier to put together. It’s a fight that looks to be a can’t-miss given the overall skills and star power of Alvarez and the offensive firepower of Benavidez.

How will Ortiz and Rocha benefit? In Ortiz, you have one of the most highly regarded American prospects. Ortiz has 15 fights (with 15 stoppages) to his credit, and he’s just 22 years old. He is a future star and now gets to be showcased on ESPN. Rocha is another solid young boxer and a possible foe for Ortiz in the future.

How do the companies benefit? Everyone involved here fills a specific hole. Some will benefit immediately, while others look toward the future. PBC gets a key piece on the welterweight chessboard with Crawford, who can be matched right off the bat with their other top 147 pounders. Golden Boy gets a current world titleholder at super middleweight and a natural opponent for Canelo. If Benavidez continues to develop his skills, a fight with Canelo is exactly the type of event that should be headlining on Cinco De Mayo weekend. In Ortiz and Rocha, Top Rank gets two young exciting fighters with a very high ceiling.

Two fights we’d want to see: Crawford vs. Spence and Canelo vs. Benavidez.

Jermall Charlo (PBC) for Mikey Garcia (Matchroom)Middleweight world titleholder Jermall Charlo is one of the best fighters in the division. Emilee Chinn/Getty Images

How will Charlo benefit? Despite having the WBC title, Charlo is on the outside looking in at middleweight, because the other belt-holders are under different promotional banners that have content deals with DAZN. In certain respects, what Crawford is to welterweight, Charlo is to middleweight.

But with this trade, Charlo could face Canelo at 160 or 168, Gennadiy Golovkin, Jaime Munguia or finally settle a long-standing grudge match against WBO middleweight belt-holder Demetrius Andrade. All of these names fight on DAZN.

How will Garcia benefit? For better or worse, Garcia insists he will stay at welterweight even though he has acknowledged he might be more effective at 140. So why not have him back at PBC, where he had a productive run between 2016 and 2019? During that stretch, Garcia captured a lightweight and a junior welterweight title. There’s an abundance of fights to make for him at 147, including a rematch with Spence, who blanked him last year. Some will groan, but Garcia has stated that he wants another crack at him. Beyond Spence, fights against Danny Garcia, Keith Thurman and Pacquiao would be available and easy to make.

How do the companies benefit? PBC gets another key addition at 147 in Garcia, a Mexican-American boxer who has become a solid attraction in both California and Texas. As for Matchroom/DAZN, they pick up the services of the fiery Charlo, who brings another dangerous element to their middleweight stable of Canelo, GGG and Andrade.

Two fights we want to see: Garcia vs. Thurman and Golovkin vs. Charlo.

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[racingtoaredlight]

The degenerate’s guide to college football TV watch ‘em ups, 2019 season, week 9

It’s week 9 and it’s time to get serious about all of the football watching and the gambling and the talking about and all of those things and there is a World Series game tonight but the best sports thing of the day?

Miami @ Pittsburgh got listed as “must watch” in the SB Nation watch grid this week and I can’t stop laughing. Yes, it was listed as that because of the high probability of inexcusably bad football leading to a frontrunner to play in this year’s Orange Bowl. Sigh sigh sigh.

The format is a weekly battle. The information is taken from FBSchedules and Vegas Insider. Be very leery of any opinions contained in this post.

Saturday, October 26

Matchup                                                          Time (ET)              TV/Mobile

San Jose State at Army                                  12:00pm                 CBSSN

I haven’t kept up with Army this year and I see they’re sitting at 3-4, the same as San Jose State. Good. 

Mississippi State at Texas A&M                     12:00pm                  SECN

I’m rightly astonished that neither of these teams is ranked right now. aTm is above .500 and has a very well-compensated head coach. What more does an SEC team need to get a ranking?

21 Appalachian State at South Alabama       12:00pm                 ESPNU

App State is 6-0 and favored by 27.5 on the road. I know USA has been trash this year but I’d put a nickel or so on the Jaguars to keep it close enough to win money. Strong words? You bet.

13 Wisconsin at 3 Ohio State                          12:00pm                   FOX

Wisconsin just had to beat Illinois to make this the biggest of Big Nude Saturdays and they couldn’t do it. Now I’m not really sure what argument there is to take the Wolverines +14.5. Funny stuff, Chryst. 

5 Oklahoma at Kansas State                           12:00pm                    ABC

The line is going up and, sure, KSU isn’t as good as their record but when have they ever been? Even when they were a yearly threat to lose all their games K-State has found a way to be worse than their record. But 23.5 seems like a lot to favor anybody in Manhattan. 

Bowling Green at Western Michigan              12:00pm                ESPN3

Illinois at Purdue                                               12:00pm                   BTN

Illinois isn’t good at all even though they beat Wisconsin last week but if they were in the ACC Coastal they’d be in contention for an Orange Bowl berth. Purdue is favored by 9.5 which seems bold to me.

20 Iowa at Northwestern                                   12:00pm                 ESPN2

The weather forecast I’m looking at has clouds, no precipitation, normal wind. The over/under is 37. I’m not sure what to do with this. It seems reasonable.

Liberty at Rutgers                                              12:00pm                  BTN

Liberty is playing for bowl eligibility against the oldest program in FBS here in college football year 150. What a horrible world. If you feel like watching this for some reason, Antonio Gandy-Golden needs 123 yards to get to 1,000 for the season.

Miami (FL) at Pitt                                                 12:00pm                ESPN

Miami has only won one conference game this year and it was against Coastal power Vir.... v-vv-v-vvvvv.... Vir... Virginia. LOL. This ain’t your daddy’s ACC! It’s as bad as it used to be but now there are more teams. If the Canes win they’re right back in the race to get humiliated by Clemson on the way to a large bowl payout.

Southern Miss at Rice                                         1:00pm                 ESPN+

Rice is on the road to 0-12. Southern Miss is bad but has a QB in the top 10 nationally for pass efficiency. If you’re in the mood to make weird money put something down on the Fightin’ Favres -10.

Nevada at Wyoming                                             2:00pm                 ATTSN

Great off-brand west coast football that is only available if you have DirecTV or if you bootleg your sports.

Ohio at Ball State                                                  2:00pm                ESPN+

WKU at Marshall                                                      2:30pm               Facebook

Pound the over in this game that you shouldn’t watch unless you work for the NSA. I love the C-USA but don’t countenance using facebook for anything.

New Mexico State at Georgia Southern                 3:00pm               ESPN3

This is passable alternate programming but there’s something much better starting 30 minutes later.

Tulane at Navy                                                          3:30pm              CBSSN

Malcolm Perry has turned things up a notch in recent weeks but I still feel unsatisfied with the Middies and think just enough of Tulane to recommend taking them +3.5. I definitely think o/u 57 is too low.

Maryland at 17 Minnesota                                        3:30pm             ESPN

All year long the dozens of people that pay attention to Minnesota football have been saying they’re the worst undefeated team in the country. If the Gophers want to live up to their reputation, Maryland is exactly the type of team they should lose against at home.

UConn at UMass                                                        3:30pm  FloSports / NESN

I don’t think about UMass football very often. Can they really be so bad that +10 to UConn is justified? That is breathtakingly awful.

Virginia at Louisville                                                  3:30pm           ACCN

If Virginia can get past the imposingly average Louisville Cardinals they may effectively have the Coastal Division locked up before we get to November. That’s not usually the way things work for Virginia in particular or the ACC in general.

15 Texas at TCU                                                          3:30pm           FOX

This is bullshit.

Syracuse at Florida State                                           3:30pm         ESPN2

We’re pretty close to the twentieth anniversary of this matchup becoming almost completely worthless. Now that both programs are just barely hovering above the dirtline it’s exceptionally worthless.

6 Penn State at Michigan State                                  3:30pm          ABC

Oklahoma State at 23 Iowa State                                3:30pm          FS1

Iowa State at -10.5 seems dicey as hell to me but my faith in Chuba Hubbard is as unshakable as my faith in Oklahoma State overall is built on a foundation of sand.

North Texas at Charlotte                                              3:30pm        ESPN+

UNT UNT UNT. That’s all.

Miami (Ohio) at Kent State                                           3:30pm        ESPN+

Boy, look at all this MACtion.

Indiana at Nebraska                                                      3:30pm         BTN

Indiana opened as a favorite on the road at Nebraska. Huskers aren’t making it back to prominence without the kind of violent criminal element that made the program great to begin with.

FIU at Middle Tennessee                                               3:30pm        NFLN

FlInt’l is favored by 2.5 to get their first win on the road. This game is on NFL Network because Butch Davis used to work for them.

Eastern Michigan at Toledo                                           3:30pm        ESPN+

Central Michigan at Buffalo                                           3:30pm       ESPN+

9 Auburn at 2 LSU                                                          3:30pm        CBS

What if Joe Burrow throws three 4th quarter INT touchdowns? That would be a great tribute/way to announce he’s quitting the Heisman race.

Arizona at Stanford                                                     3:30pm         Pac-12N

This is probably as bad as anything the MAC could throw at you. Fortunately for most of you, there’s no way for you to see this game legally.

Akron at NIU                                                                3:30pm           ESPN3

Awful.

Florida Atlantic at Old Dominion                               3:30pm            ESPN+

I’m really looking forward to Urban Meyer spurning FSU and having them end up hiring Lane Kiffin. We’re probably 8 weeks away from that.

USF at East Carolina                                                   3:45pm          ESPNU

A lot of times a confluence of factors gives a certain matchup a bittersweet, melancholic tinge. This is the saddest game of the year so far.

Duke at North Carolina                                                4:00pm            RSN

On the one hand I don’t really like UNC at all. On the other hand I want them to win this game by 65. This is the scrappiest piece of shit game you will not see at all today.

South Carolina at Tennessee                                      4:00pm            SECN

This game is also a total piece of shit but Tennessee is not scrappy at all. They will quit at a moment’s notice.

Hawaii at New Mexico                                         4:00pm  Spectrum PPV / MWN

Hawaii is favored by 10. The o/u of 71 is tough but I bet the Rainbow Warriors hold up things on their side.

Arkansas at 1 Alabama                                                7:00pm           ESPN

Are you ready for the Mac Jones Era to start? Tua Tagovailoa is out for at least this game and the line has dropped from 35 to 31.5. Great chance for Arkansas to not lose by as much as we all expect them to lose. Could be huge for the program that has lost 15 conference games in a row. It’s not every week a coach can tie a record held by the great Bret Beilema.

Memphis at Tulsa                                                         7:00pm           CBSSN

Gainwell! RTARLsman! I’m good with stats and I’m expecting Kenny Gainwell to get about 105 yards rushing and 364 yards receiving. Book it.

Texas Tech at Kansas                                                  7:00pm             FS1

Lawrence at night, one of college football’s most magical venues. the line is creeping down as bettors realize the homefield advantage for the Jayhawks is, uh, almost equal to the badness of Texas Tech. Almost!

UCF at Temple                                                              7:00pm          ESPN2

Temple got pretty lucky to beat Memphis (bad turnovers, bad call late) and now they’re going to need some more magic to stay alive in the AAC race. A major bowl is probably out of the question for both of these teams at this point but this should still be pretty entertaining, even if UCF is pretty heavily favored for a road conference game.

Texas State at Arkansas State                                     7:00pm          ESPN+

There is a huge buzz of disinterest surrounding this game.

Troy at Georgia State                                                    7:00pm          ESPN+

I don’t have a great handle on the goings on in the Sun Belt but Troy opened as the favorite here. That’s kind of weird, right? Even now Georgia State is only favored because of hometown bump. 

Boston College at 4 Clemson                                       7:30pm           ACCN

Boston College is about due for a massive upset, aren’t they? No? Yeah, no.

Colorado State at Fresno State                                     7:30pm         ESPNU

Actually kind of fun in theory but I’m not gonna watch it. This is true football degeneracy in action.

Missouri at Kentucky                                                     7:30pm          SECN

Kentucky is still playing that WR at quarterback but I still want to put money on them +10. Because Missouri isn’t great, either.

8 Notre Dame at 19 Michigan                                        7:30pm          ABC

This is a pick ‘em? Is Notre Dame really exposed to that level? I’m rooting for Michigan in this one but Notre Dame is gonna beat them by like 50, right?

24 Arizona State at UCLA                                              7:30pm         Pac-12N

Arizona State got killed last week and hung in the top 25. There are not 25 good teams this year.

Louisiana Tech at UTEP                                                8:00pm         ESPN3

UTEP, it turns out, is very bad. If you want to be a good degenerate you’re gonna need some hooch and a rooting interest in one of these teams beating the 20.5 point line. Louisiana Tech is the easy pick but live an exciting life in your underwear, alone on your couch.

California at 12 Utah                                                     10:00pm           FS1

If there’s a prop on the number of plays run in this game take the under. I am going to absolutely love this one.

Utah State at Air Force                                                  10:15pm        ESPN2

I still have no idea what to think of Jordan Love. I don’t think he’s great but what if he ends up in San Francisco? He definitely hasn’t lived up to the preseason hype but we’ve got at least one recent example of that not mattering at all with a “small school” prospect. Air Force is a weird environment and a true homefield advantage. Maybe Love can get off some lasers and hang around as a top prospect for the 2020 draft.

San Diego State at UNLV                                               10:30pm       CBSSN

SDSU is starting to pick up steam and UNLV is mostly a speedbump of a team so go for that -12.5 if you’re feeling lively.

Washington State at 11 Oregon                                     10:30pm        ESPN

For all of the tank for Tua hype there’s still a realistic shot that the much taller, much stronger armed Oregon QB Justin Herbert goes #1 overall in 2020. The Ducks are probably the Pac-12′s only outside shot at a playoff appearance this year but they aren’t quite so good that I’d feel safe putting money on them even now. Autzen isn’t as intimidating as it used to be and Washington State still has some punch left even if they have been a huge disappointment this season.

[orindasfinest]

TDFL PR W#3

To admit to a thing that everyone already knows like Bill Clinton will someday when the antifa firing squad has him wetting his senile pants at gunpoint stammering about how Epstein was onto something with the tightness of 15-year-old box: yes, I missed last week. I shockingly have a girlfriend AND aspirations of being something other than a water babysitter for the rest of my life and the two combined to stop me from shitposting about fantasy football. I have now concluded with my significant other and with my job applications, filling both with rich cum, and will thereby turn my attention to the band of misfits I decided to assemble in hopes of winning a fantasy league for once in my fucking life, which in this instance would basically be like beating ‘Through the Fire and the Flames’ on Guitar Hero in easy difficulty. At least the Eagles officially suck so nobody can feel good about real-life accomplishments except for me and my lovable group of New Englanders who use HGH as lube when waxing their shaven carrots to lithographs of Jock Sutherland’s single-wing play designs. That is a real reference and I am so gratified that I got to waste seconds of your life making you try and process such a string of words – much like you will continue to do if you keep reading! Let’s begin.

10. Leaguema Balls (Mike)

Record: 0-3 | PF: 305.1 | PA: 425.3 | Streak: L3 | Last Week (I actually wrote out a rankings but then just never added the roasts, so they were worthless, but trust me) 10

Plays Next: Sean’s Hard Mangos (Sean)

Questionable Decision of the Week: Continuing to draw breath

It’s comforting to know that I can leave my sweet foundling rankings alone for a week and still have the unmoving anchor way at the bottom to keep it grounded and sturdy. You would have thought that assembling a competent fantasy football roster was Rogaine given Michael’s lack of familiarity with the concept. If you want, Dirt, you can think up an AIM away message to leave in this slot to save me the work for the next 13 weeks and so this entry has some consistency besides sucking more than spilling soup down your shirt in a meeting. (I know that wasn’t you but this guy deserves some of your grilling space.) Marquise Brown is going to blow out a lung trying to run under Lamar’s 102-yard touch passes on Sunday and turn back into Steve Breaston with a dumber nickname.

9. Sean’s Hard Mangos (Sean)

Record: 0-3 | PF: 374.4 | PA: 401.2 | Streak: L3 | Last Week: 8

Plays Next: Oh dear christ not my repeaters again

Questionable Decision of the Week: Dick amputation by tendon fatigue

Just as I take solace in Mike’s cellar-dwelling ways, I can relax about the other two Philly league members having decent squads just by looking at Sean’s merry band of sap-sucking stupidheads. You’d find more consistent direction from Sean behind the wheel of a car than you would from a team led by Derrick Henry and James Conner. And here I thought you were done with uninterested, underperforming ball-grabbers when you broke up with Hannah. Word of advice, dawg! You’re gonna get your first win this week because the algorithm isn’t yet advanced enough to throw up in both of your faces instead of assigning a victor between you and Michael, so act like you’ve been there before, or at least act like you know how to run a palatable social media account after three fucking years of trying and failing.

8. James White is Right (Tori)

Record: 0-3 | PF: 372.7 | PA: 439.7 | Streak: L3 | Last Week: 9

Plays Next: Cartoon Colt Copulation (Hahahahaha)

Questionable Decision of the Week: Acting like her dirt star is the brightest light in the sky when in reality it’s Proxima Centauri from Event Horizon

Much like capitalism, the league has created a placated and clueless middle class, consolidated wealth in the top 1%, and left the lower half of the populace to shiver and die like Austin Ekeler on the sidelines now that Melvin Gordon is back. Of course, knowing Tori’s family, they’d just bray about how the economy is thunderously good before unironically sharing deep-fried boomer memes while she gently chides them through comments, pretending there’s not a little racist in her team name. And in her soul. James White is back, though, having just watched his wife give birth, knowing that whole time that the tearing and screeching he was witnessing would pale in comparison to Tori trying to fit a toothpick up her half-thimble rear entrance.

7. Mark Ruffalo’s Ruffalo Bills (Aidan)

Record: 2-1 | PF: 410.5 | PA: 408.8 | Streak: L1 | Last Week: 3

Plays Next: The Queen’s Booty Lickers (Liv)

Questionable Decision of the Week: Using his asshole around women and not expecting repercussions

Benefiting from a more questionable handout than the insurance settlement that gives him money for having headaches sometimes, Aidan rode high on the back of a free Mahomes the first two weeks of the season. That all came crashing down when Lauren put him in a dumpster in this past matchup, which was probably an upgrade from his place in Chicago. Aidan has a picture of the Blues Brothers’ trainside apartment on his vision board in the hopes that someday he can move somewhere that high-class. Expect further regression as Josh Jacobs and Leonard Fournette continue to suffer from some sort of Power 5 running back glaucoma which makes them barrel directly into their linemen’s asses on every handoff instead of bouncing to the acres of green space just outside the tackles. This is much like how Aidan rushes for beans on toast instead of attempting to taste flavor.

6. Airstrip One Ezekiels Engels (Derv)

Record: 2-1 | PF: 404.7 | PA: 387.8 | Streak: W2 | Last Week: 7

Plays Next: TEAM DUMPSTER BEARS (Lauren)

Questionable Decision of the Week: Fookin ‘ell ‘ard ta pick one innit luv xx

After a less auspicious start than the Easter Rebellion, Derv has rebounded from a sheer fleecing to fashion herself into something of a competent franchise owner. Knowing the strength of her impostor syndrome, though, she’s liable to swap Zeke for a scalding slap in the face *battered whisper* because that’s the type of team that she deserves. I would say this ranking of 6 will be the highest you will ever get but I think if you’re a good enough girl this year, around Thanksgiving your dad will finally put you on his shoulders so you can see the inflatable turkeys parading down the garbage metropolis a mere three hours from you upstate hovel. Otherwise it’ll be another long outing of sinking further down the standings and standing so low at 4’8 you look like you’re dissolving into a sinkhole.

5. The Queen’s Booty Lickers (Liv)

Record: 2-1 | PF: 399.7 | PA: 394.3 | Streak: L1 | Last Week: 1

Plays Next: Mark Ruffalo’s Still Not a Funny Name (Aidan)

Questionable Decision of the Week: Taking dick so long it got mistaken for the amount of time she spends on the toilet

How the mighty have fallen! One minute, you look like an infallible cock destroyer, and then BANG! You get run over. But I won’t bring up your car accident too much. I’m seeing more hopeless tears from your Johnson & Johnson RB corps than from babies piteously afflicted by their cornea-searing shampoo. It’s fitting that such an intermittent contributor would have a roster full of people that basically decide whether or not they want to do a football on a play-by-play basis. “How about an out route, Amari?” “How about you sit in a room for 10 minutes with Liv’s roommate, coach?” This team could light the league on fire but it’ll settle for searing its own britches at completely unpredictable hours. Again, just like Liv.

4. The Birds Have Arrived (John)

Record: 2-1 | PF: 402.1 | PA: 391.4 | Streak: W1 | Last Week: 4

Plays Next: Poo Poo Point Diarrheas (Griffin)

Questionable Decision of the Week: Sending Snickers to hell. She was a good cat john.

The man with the worst opinions in the league dropped Antonio Brown for some reason even though he was clearly a kindred spirit in that regard. There’s no difference between what AB did and what John said about candy, except for the fact that I’d be more comfortable with jizz on my back than I would listening to more of his sweets-based takes. (Come to think of it, I’d just be more comfortable with jizz on my back.) As alluded to before, Melvin Gordon is returning to action, which means John can stop pretending that Miles Sanders will be any kind of valuable contributor, about 4 years and one hair-tearingly bad contract extension before the Eagles do the same. While you’re on the road with the VengaBus, Oakman, see if you can pick up a kicker who realizes that people with apostrophes in their names belong on the defensive line and who can actually put the ball through the fucking uprights.

3. Cartoon Colt Copulation (Gabe)

Record: 2-1 | PF: 422.5 | PA: 333 | Streak: W2 | Last Week: 2

Plays Next: James White is Right (Delicious)

Questionable Decision of the Week: Looking past all the signs that Lauren sabotages air travel just to spend extra time with me and trying to aim my blasts to curve around her IUD anyway

I would just like to immediately point out that my points for is second highest in the league and therefore I righteously deserve my place near the top of the rankings AND could even go for higher. I would also like to admit that I have by far the lowest points against. So even when I excel, I do it in arenas that are specifically set up for me to succeed, which feels appropriate for me as a white man. I’m swinging my dick on an unlevel playing field like Steve-O on a teeter-totter with a scorpion. Saquon’s injury is all I need to have the pinchers come rocketing towards my little glistening head and put the clamps on my high-falutin’ status. BUT FOR NOW FUCK YOU JACOBY BRISSETT IS GOD which is only right and fair in the name of equality

2. TEAM DUMPSTER BEARS (Lauren)

Record: 2-1 | PF: 426 | PA: 363 | Streak: W1 | Last Week: 6

Plays Next: Airstrip One Historical Reference Yawn (Derv)

Questionable Decision of the Week: Do I really have to spell it out? After she spent a whole weekend plus in my bed? Come on, guys. Going back to Buzz City and pretending low rent is a fair tradeoff for having about as much culture as spoiled yogurt

Team Clemson had a TAMU product to thank for their banana sandwich performance in matchday number three as Mike Evans put up FORTY FIVE FUCKING BIG ONES in, of course, a losing effort for his real-life Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Scoring points but losing everything of consequence is nothing new to Lauren after her latest tussles with Catan. But the soaring to improbable heights is taking on gorgeous new wrinkles as different folks step up week after week to put up the performances of their lives, only to be invariably out of gas week nine, leaving her roster a withered, gaping husk with bitter glances back towards what once was as she tries to wring some sort of enjoyment from the remnants. Welcome to childbirth, honey!

1. Poo Poo Point Diarrheas (Griffin)

Record: 3-0 | PF: 396.5 | PA: 342.7 | Streak: W3 | Last Week: 5

Plays Next: The Birds Have Arrived (John)

Questionable Decision of the Week: Getting tested for STDs. Next you’re gonna tell Sean not to drunk drive. Narc

Griffin has the 4th-lowest point total out of all of us, yet he is the sole occupant of first place as of press time. The last time I saw a fatty get this much undeserved shine, my ex-girlfriend made me watch an entire episode of This Is Us. You’re rocking Mitchy Trubes at quarterback, whose play style must be similar to your lovemaking technique: going long a lot, but never looking like you have any idea what you’re doing. I am so happy about your brief stay at the top of the mountain and I hope you can brag about it at show choir or whatever. Just remember that the #1 spot in these rankings is not like having abandonment issues. You don’t need to get used to it.

[kyogre-blue]

Pokemon - drabble

Summary: May didn’t set out to catch legendary Pokemon... at first. But after a while, it seemed like fate. (ORAS-based, humor)

Notes: Just something stupid. Mostly based on ORAS, but with some elements from Emerald.

————

#2 Kyogre

May didn’t set out to catch legendary Pokemon. And, really, did Latias even count? The Eon Pokemon had practically caught herself, without even a battle. And it was all basically Steven’s fault anyway, since he was the one the Eon twins had been looking for in the first place.

Sadly, she couldn’t blame Steven for Kyogre. That was all on her.

~.~.~

To begin with, she was the one who took the Red Orb and ran off into the Cave of Origin.

It was, in retrospect, a patently stupid move. Her father had been entirely right to look like he wanted a stiff drink when he heard about it afterwards.

But as May stood there, in the middle of Sootopolis, torrential rain pounding down and almost drowning out the argument between Steven, Wallace and Archie, she couldn’t help but feel responsible. She was the one who had failed to stop Team Aqua at Mt. Pyre, at Slateport, at Lilycove... but more importantly, she had completely failed to tell anyone about what was happening until it was too late.

The police were always pretty slow to respond and not really equipped to handle battles on the level of the Aqua admins, but she could have gone to Rustboro and asked President Stone to contact Steven. She could have even gone to her father. If there had been someone helping her storm the hideout at Lilycove or even at Mt. Pyre, they might have made it in time to stop Team Aqua’s plans.

But instead May had treated it all like a big adventure and chased Team Aqua on her own. And look where that landed them — the entire region about to end up underwater.

“I’m the Champion, it’s my responsibility!” Steven was saying again, barely audible over the rain.

Wallace waved it aside sharply. “Even so, it’s a bad matchup for you. What if it dives? Would you even be able to fight it underwater? I should go. Protecting the ancient traditions is the responsibility of the people of Sootopolis.”

“If it’s anyone’s responsibility, it’s mine!” Archie shot back. “I’m the one who made this mess, I’m gonna be the one to fix it!”

“Given your track record, you would only worsen the situation,” Maxie sneered. But at least he didn’t put himself up too.

The argument had been going around in circles for a while now. In the end, the Red Orb would only protect one person and their team, so only one of them could go. None were willing to concede and wait helplessly outside.

Well, May could understand that. It didn’t feel right to wait and do nothing. That’s not what May was like — and that was why she had been the one to get the Red Orb in the first place. If anyone should go... Gripping it a little harder in her hand, she looked down into the orb’s depths.

And came to a stupid, impulsive decision.

One sneaking step back, another — just like sneaking up on a patch of shaking grass. Through the pouring rain, the men still arguing in front of her didn’t even notice. A few more steps, and she could barely make out their silhouettes. They didn’t seem to have noticed either...

So May booked it. Spinning around, she dashed headlong toward the entrance to the Cave of Origins

“—ay!”

She thought she heard someone calling her name, but it didn’t matter. The doors were right ahead. May didn’t slow to push the doors open — launching into the air, she crashed into them with double flying kick, throwing them open with a bang.

Stumbling a little on the landing, she felt her breath catch for a moment before it suddenly cleared away. It must have been the intense natural energy they’d been talking about — and the Red Orb protecting her from it, May realized, already running again.

It was a straight path ahead toward a roughly hewn stairway down. Putting on an extra burst of speed, May hurried onward.

~.~.~

“—May! May, wait!” Steven shouted, chasing after her.

She either ignored him or didn’t hear. Unfortunately, she’d gotten too much of a head start — he couldn’t catch her before she got to the cave entrance, and inside...

Steven hadn’t expected the effect to be that immediate. The air inside the cave was visibly shimmering with natural energy, thick enough that he could feel it against his skin and when he breathed in. And breathing was suddenly becoming very difficult, the air too heavy. His head swam, and he stumbled.

Someone grabbed his arm and dragged him back, just back past the doors to the Cave of Origin, into the rain but also clear air.

“Do you really have rocks for brains?” Wallace scolded, dropping to one knee next to Steven and breathing hard. “Weren’t you listening? You can’t go in without the Red Orb to protect you!”

Still trying to catch his breath, Steven shook his head.

“I know,” Wallace agreed, his tone softening. “But there’s nothing we can do now.”

Archie and Maxie had approached, joining them as they looked past the doors into the cave, into the shimmering veils of energy that faded into darkness. “All we can do is leave it up to that scamp...” Archie said quietly.

They were silent for a moment.

Wrinkling his nose irritably, Maxie blinked like a Hoothoot in daytime and finally pulled off his waterlogged glasses. The square of cloth he pulled out of his pocket was equally soaked, but he went through the motions of wiping the lenses anyway. “According to my calculations, Kyogre has not regained its true power,” he said blandly. “Not even a fraction, really. Even that child should be fine.” He paused and added, “Unless the standards of the gyms in Hoenn have dropped significantly.”

Understandably, he received three dark looks — not that he could see them.

~.~.~

May suddenly felt like she wanted to punch a nerd.

Maybe that swayed her judgement. Because that was when she did the next stupid thing.

She had been feeling increasingly aware of her own recklessness, between the increasingly frequent tremors, the rain that began to fall despite the lack of sky, the unsettling noise from her PokeNav that gave way to nothing but static... and the shining burst of power that changed Kyogre into Primal Kyogre, as if its initial forme was somehow not intimidating enough.

But somehow... Primal Kyogre was not quite as overwhelming as May had expected. It was powerful, far more powerful than any single Pokemon she had ever faced. But not “created the seas” powerful.

It had clearly not been able to entirely shake off her Castform’s Thunders, retaliating violently and furiously until it managed to slip past Latias’s screening guard to knock out the tiny Weather Pokemon. And her Mega Blaziken’s Stone Edge had thrown it clear out of the water — just as May had intended, of course, but still.

“Latias! Distract it and Mist Ball again!” May ordered. “Chic, finish this with High Jump Kick!”

So what if she was using two Pokemon against one? This was the fate of the region at stake.

Screeching, Kyogre reacted to the first threat. The shining water beams of its signature move shot toward Latias, making her swerve and roll to avoid getting hit as she fired off her attack. They also intercepted the Mist Ball, setting off a small blast of air and water.

But that just meant Mega Blaziken’s approach was hidden until she suddenly burst through the haze, burning leg extended. The force of the High Jump Kick tore through Kyogre’s weakened Aqua Ring and plowed into its pale underbelly, crashing Kyogre into the rock.

Soaked and tired but still ready to fight, Chic jumped back quickly and raised one leg in preparation to attack again. But, peeling slowly out of the crater it had been driven into and flopping onto the cavern floor, Kyogre only made a weak screech of protest and halfheartedly waved its tail.

It’s in the red, May’s trainer instincts said.

And that’s where it went wrong again. Because she was supposed to — well, actually, May wasn’t sure what she was supposed to do with Kyogre. She hadn’t really thought past “battle it.” Were they going to knock it out and pray it was in a better, non-cataclysmic mood when it woke up? Tow it to the Seafloor Cavern before it woke up and wall it back in?

Kyogre make another, slightly firmer noise, dragging the beginnings of a new Aqua Ring around itself with a wave of its tail.

It was trying to heal itself, just when she’d gotten it weak enough! (For what...?)

May reacted without thinking. At all.

“Ah,” she let out intelligently, watching the Poke Ball she had just thrown hit Kyogre right on the nose with perfect accuracy. “Aaaaah! Why did I do that?!”

Given the looks Latias and Mega Blaziken shot her over their shoulders, they were wondering the exact same thing. Neither felt anything approaching enthusiasm about being on a team with an ill-tempered incarnation of perpetual rainstorms.

The Poke Ball rocked once, twice, three times, and clicked.

Well.

May shot it a dirty look, but she had no one to blame but herself.

~.~.~

“I can’t believe this,” May muttered under her breath as she strode up to the doors of the Sootopolis City gym. “I saved your entire stupid town from flooding — the entire region! You could just give me the stupid badge. If I can take on a super ancient Pokemon, obviously I can take a gym leader, right...?”

The nerve of that under-dressed smirking loser Wallace. True, he’d been ready and willing to go fight Kyogre himself, so maybe he didn’t think of it as much of a benchmark, but just doing the deed had to count for something, right? Like a medal — or a badge.

But no, off to the gym she went. A water type gym, no less. She’d handled the water-iest water type of all! It was on her belt at that very moment! This was just...

Suddenly, May had an idea. A terrible, stupid idea.

She still had that Thunder TM, after all.

~.~.~

A raindrop landed on Wallace’s nose, then another — then an entire downpour. He sighed, flicking his soaked fringe out of his face and squinted up at the clouds that had formed just below the ceiling of his gym.

Such was the downside of running a water type gym. Well, it wasn’t like a Rain Dance or two would...

Wait. ‘None of my girls can make a Rain Dance this strong or widespread,’ Wallace thought. It had to be the challenger, then. The challenger... ‘She wouldn’t.’

Except that she very much would.

“Either you Body Slam that Luvdisc, or I’ll body slam you!” May raged, at the lowest level of the gym. Digging in her heels, she pulled with all her might, and next to her, her Blaziken did the same — both of them holding tightly to half of Kyogre’s tail fins.

Kyogre make a low sound of disinterest and, gathering water around itself, sent a wave crashing over May and Chic. Sputtering, the two let go of their hold, and Kyogre took the chance to plunge as deep as the gym’s pool would allow... which was unfortunately not very deep. The modern age definitely did not agree with it. Was a nice long nap — maybe a century or two — too much to ask for?

“Get back up here!” May yelled, shaking her waterlogged hair out of her face.

Kyogre pretended not to notice.

The poor terrified Luvdisc tried to use Rain Dance — or perhaps, more accurately, tried to appease the displeased Pokemon god it found itself faced with. But there was no relief from the heavy rain.

Groaning, Wallace palmed his face. He should have just given her the badge, he realized.

~.~.~

[tumblunni]

Some more random thoughts and stuff for Completely Undeveloped Monster Petshop Game/I might end up calling it Moncrafter but I still don’t know if that sounds dumb or not. I NEED MORE NAME IDEAS!

* Monster Artisan? Monster Studio? Maybe try and think of other stuff that’s related to the alchemy crafting factor...

* And maybe there should be a catchy name for the monsters, rather than just calling them monsters? It kinda strikes me as something that’d make it TOO much of a Monster Rancher spiritual successor, yknow. That game kinda stands out in the genre for not having a name for the monsters! XD And I’ve decided that the origin of these guys is that they’re alchemically created familiars invented by rich folks with too much time on their hands. So maybe I should try and think of a more catchy way to say ‘homunculus’? Holms? Collect your holms! Craft your holms! Holm shop! Holm hugging! It could work! Also it’d kinda have a bit of sentimental attatchment for me, cos one of the hostels I used to live at was in Holmsdale Street. Homeless to holmfull! That place seriously saved my life. Alternatively, maybe ‘poppets’? Cos that’s cute sounding but it actually means the thing that pop culture calls a ‘voodoo doll’. They don’t really exist as part of vodoun religion, it was just a stupid stereotype that’s ended up engrained as common knowledge. Poppets were actually part of european and british superstition, so it sucks that nobody remembers this and you have people in those countries thinking of it as a big ol scary thing of someone else’s religion..

* I’ve been thinking about the creation methods for the holms, and thinking about it, and thinking about it SOME MORE, and seriously i’m practically writing actual petcare books in my head about these fictional critters!! I’m a lil grumpy tho cos we developed stuff a bit more and decided the plant dog would indeed have to be grass type, it’d be better to have something else be the main water type and just use the seaweed variant of the dog as the dual type crossbreed. Because it was REALLY CUTE imagining that idea of how you create them! Stirring a cauldron of magic potion until it clumps together into moss, and then refining and sieving it until you have a tiny barking marimo~ I can imagine that just a more traditionally elementally aligned version would be less endearing. Like a water type just pops out of the water and the rgass type grows in a regular plantpot. It doesn’t seem as fun as having to grow a sentient plant in a lil aquarium for dogs. ITS TWO THINGS! ITS TWO GREAT THINGS! So actually this makes me think about maybe if we make more of the creation spells involve different elements? And that could be like a positive set of elemental matchups, opposed to the negative ones in battle. So you could use your monsters to help make new monsters! And maybe the new baby dog picks up a good influence from its water type godparent, even though they don’t have any direct relation. Like, if you add fragments from parent monsters to the mixture, you get a fusion monster, but then the godparent could maybe add one extra skill inheritance, or maybe influence the stat build or personality values...?

* I was thinking that the maohs/whatever else I decide to call the grumpy fire fairies, well duh they’d be created from fire. So the alchemist crafts a candle with a special recipe, or maybe you have to write a spell in super small print on the wick? Yeah, that’d be cool, it’d be neat if they all had wildly different creation spells that all require different skills outside of just being good at magic. Hire a wandering calligrapher to assist in your pixie baking! Oh, or maybe with the positive elemental variations thing, perhaps light type monsters have really good calligraphy cos they’re the most Intelligence-specialized breed. Oh, or perhaps they’re good at helping to create dark types, cos they can cast more powerful shadows? BUT YEAH I imagined the fairy holms hatching in a weird cute way! The flame on the candle would burn continuously for several days, with the shape of the fairy growing in the centre. It would remain microscopic for 99% of its development, and then in the last hour or so the fire would blaze up to it’s full size! Keep sure to protect the workshop from this three minute doom bonfire, while also stoking it with coal so the baby grows up big and strong! By the time it subsides, you’ll have a fully formed child-sized monster, and probably half of a table left. :3 Also: imagine them chewing on logs instead of pacifiers!

* I had the odd idea that light types are created through song. Usually the holms require physical ingredients and some sort of recipe, but these ones get their reputation as holy creatures from the fact they come from nothing. There’s special hymns to summon them, and they have to be sung with enough skill, conviction, and purity of heart. So it still takes as much effort as other methods of alchemy, even though theoretically anyone could do it. Its even theoretically possible that you could summon a holy homunculus through ANY song, not just the special ones designed for that purpose. There’s tales of singing priests that’re just SO GOOD that holy beasts appear whenever they open their mouth! So they hold a vow of silence and only use this power in times of need. Though it could be considered a curse in other places, it’d suck to be a random opera singer and suddenly lose your career as a swarm of monsters divebomb the audience! And the even rarer ultimate tier legend is of the man who spoke words of such beauty that an angel appeared without even the need for song. Nobody has any record of this really happening, but it’s an enduring myth. The idea of finding that one perfect sentence that convinces gods to bend their will to you...! Or, on the other side of things, there’s the thought of someone whose intentions were so pure that even their most humble, inelegant plea for help could make the heavens cry. So yeah, a lot of potential in this idea of musical monster making~!

* Oh, and I think that after your song actually summons a light monster, they still go through the same ‘kinda like an egg without the egg’ phase that all the others do. Instead of being inside a candle or a cauldron, they’re just kinda... slowly phasing into our laws of reality. You can tell when a song summons a holy beast cos there will be a little glow in the air, like a snowflake frozen in mid-fall. And then it’ll slowly turn into a translucent outline of the monster, and then it eventually gains solidity and becomes fully aware. So they can be a little annoying because it’s completely impossible to move the egg once it’s appeared. You’re just stuck with this intangeable glowy blob that gets brighter every day- sucks if it appeared in the middle of your office! And it also means that it’s easier to accidentally create a monster. You might just not notice a speck of light that happened to land in an awkward place after your seemingly failed summoning. Then the poor lil thing hatches under the floorboards or something, and ends up wandering out all confused and becoming a scary stray monster in the woods! Homunculi aren’t really designed to be independant in the wild, they’re not merely domesticated but literally CREATED to serve humans... T_T

* OH and also the purpose of holy type holms is to be a ‘guidance’ familiar. They were crafted to be like an artificial computer that could potentially grow more intelligent than humans, and answer the great questions of the world. (Though, I mean, the equivelant of computers in an ancient magical civilization that has no idea what computers are!) These manmade angels are meant to be able to see into the future, and commune with the will of the real gods, and calculate things that aren’t humanly possible. They would be given seemingly high roles in society as advisors to great kings, with their opinions valued higher than any human in the country. But they had no real freedom, living their lives in cages with their only exposure to the outside world being their extensive programs of constant unceasing lessons in every discipline imagineable. Many of them would eventually snap under the pressure, leading to a reputation of the species as fiendish tricksters that live outside the boundaries of human morality and NEED to be restrained or else they’d be dangerous. This is likely why the rumours started of them being able to be summoned any time anyone speaks ANYTHING, with the implication that they might have existed forever and humans never really created them... So... yeah, they’re one of the few species of monster that’s actually seen some benefit from the art of alchemy becoming a hobby of the idle rich! Nowadays they’re just one in a million monsters that’re bred for status, with both their ‘holy’ and ‘demon’ reputations being long forgotten. And they get to see what it’s like to be pampered pets ^_^ Unfortunately, holy types are one of the longest living homunculi, so some elderly ones still remember those bygone eras and hold resentment towards humanity. Their secondary purpose of acting as living relics to the past... its kinda backfiring... (random idea for a boss battle, lol!)

[xtreme-icecream]

since the weather’s a little sunny with a chance of superhero au on my dash here’s blueprints for an muse+aqours one i made but never shared; ‘tis nearly a year old

Blurb: Once upon a time in Japan’s Capital of Heroes™ (slightly sci-fi Akihabara) there was a team of seven superheroes that the public Idolized (hehe). since i’m reconstructing my memory by pulling stuff out of my ass we’ll call them the Dream Team, and atm they still dont have permanent superhero names but they were Honoka (glorious leader), Umi, Kotori, Eli, Nozomi, Nico and Maki.

They ran a good four years of Justice until one day Super Nozomi went MIA, which was bad because she had a pretty important role in keeping the whole band together. It Was Never The Same Again. stuff went downhill from there--Super Nico and Super Maki handled a lot of the PR after that which made it even worse when they disappeared next. the rumor mill revved up 2 turbo mode, and the public p much thought that the Dream Team’s time was over. a few hopefuls held that they’d get back on their feet somehow, but unfortunately for them especially, the next person to go missing after a heroic deed was glorious leader Honoka.

what was left of the dream team was more than just discouraged, but even after this, they still had to defend Justice. so they kept it up.

As they continued to work, tracking down their old teammates on the side, their biggest fan, Chika Takami from Uchiura (far far from sci-fi akiba) discovers her own set of superpowers, and alongside her friend You, a nearly-graduated sidekick herself, they visit sci-fi akiba to get advice and hopefully lend a hand to her heroes.

the visit goes awry when an evil robot that makes things blow up attacks, but that incident allows Chika and You a chance to join their heroes For Real. from there, the Dream Team (with the help of the Chikafriends) try to rebuild their name

and now for the good, the bad, and the wishy-washy (good vs. bad according to in-universe news outlets and idk genre meta stuff)

The Good Guys

Like any respectable team of superheroes, these guys all work together in the same city, same HQ. (also for Reasons i gave everyone archnemeses so in case everyone has to fight in an epic battle of life or death we know what the matchups are, but also they really do fight each other often and there are personal issues there)

1. Eli: - the new leader, taking the position after Honoka. kinda stressed out since the team’s in a bit of a tight spot as far as public and government approval goes. - she’s kitsune themed not just because i’m unoriginal, but Also because it’s matchy-matchy with shrine-priestess-themed nozomi - they might’ve been a two-person team before joining honk & co. idk - her powers include anti-demon blue fire, Regular blue fire, antigravity (limited to herself, so she can jump kinda floaty), and a spirit sense that clues her in on how her Squad is - manages the team overall - archnemesis:  Super Kanan 

2. Umi: - the second-in-command, even when honk was around - aside from being publicly acknowledged as a superhero and being four years older, she’s basically canon umi groomed for heroism - No secret identity. the sonoda family is a family of superpowerless superheroes that’s been in action since the birth of newspaper - blames herself the most for what happened to honk - her “powers” include archery, swordsmanship, being Umi, and several martial arts. probably can also use a gun if she has to. - Team Chika’s advisor, kind of. she signed up to take responsibility for them - Not ‘Batman With A Sword’!! - archnemesis: Super Dia

3. Kotori - Mom - also Very Super. superhuman strength, flight, fire and wind manipulation, six big strong wings, supernatural senses. she’s a seraph, george - a watcher-type angel, too. generally has some idea of what’s going on in akiba, but she still appreciates surveillance technology bc even she wants to turn her brain off sometimes - the Chikasquad likes to go to her to circumvent Umi’s Iron Fisted Ass. it works 90% of the time - best public approval. very nice to people she saves. spends the most time outside HQ for solo Justice, and sometimes even leaves the city for a bit - archnemesis: Super Yoshiko

4. Hanayo - formerly an apprentice of nico. she joined the team properly shortly after nico went missing, and succeeded her Super Identity even if their powers and uh personality are kinda different - still learning about her powers! learns very quickly though. kind of a natural actually, and would be a grade-A hero if she was a little less shy in front of the news - already a part of the team, but relates to the Chikasquad about being treated like a trainee. she is a cool super senpai - her powers include superhuman strength, speed and senses, regeneration, near invulnerability. very powerful, but the powers only recently stabilized👀 - she keeps rin’s secrets but at what cost - archnemesis: none really; ruby’s kinda her “villainous” counterpart but she’s hardly a villain and they’re even kinda friends 

5. Riko - kinda like maki’s sidekick. not a proper member of the team because her powers are hard to learn and she’s still young and inexperienced - technically ChikaYou’s senior in the crimefighting department, but she’s not looking to be a leader - ChikaYou think she’s good enough to be promoted to proper membership. Riko has Doubts - manipulates Sound. very complicated power like if she’s not careful she could level a portion of city by making somethin loud enough. also she can do stuff like distort her voice, mimic other voices, make noise from out of nowhere, etc. stretch the science a lil i guess - one morbid technique maki taught her is to make a heart beat so loud it kind of explodes and breaks the person’s chest from the inside. Stretch the Science - also, superhuman hearing and some acrobatics skill - archnemesis: Super Maki

6. Chika - Honoka’s biggest fan!!! - more clever than she appears, but also may be a bit too eager to leap into the fray - takes the lead whenever she, You and Riko fight crime, but still thinks they’re better suited to think of strategy and stuff. tends to be in the middle anyway. - hopes to get the respect that will make the Dream Team finally tell her what dark secrets they’re hiding about The Incidents. she can smell a conspiracy - kind of weird powers. flight, fireballs (more like small stars really), small to mid-scale explosions, heat resistance, invulnerability to burns, regeneration. she can survive alone in space too but that’s not coming up anytime soon - archnemesis: Super Honoka, but she has to learn it’s Honoka

7. You - formerly a sidekick to her father (i call him Captain Pacific) she’s now an independent super identity - before chika got her powers they had that dynamic where theyre like ‘Superhero in high school + their normal best friend who knows their secret identity’ and she got this old mindset where she as a super needs to keep chika safe even now that chika has powers and can finally return the favor - also kind of?? rivals with riko?? not romantically, more like city hero vs. small town hero, plans vs. action, etc. these differences are kind of why chika’s the leader - her superhero identity is liger-themed fsr???? i don’t know!! shes not a boat or an anchor in any case. big cats make good superheroes maybe -  superhuman strength and senses, water manipulation, night vision, Buoyancy manipulation (she will make things float in the air if she wants, george). also some special armor. not the type for spandex   - archnemesis: Super Rin (Not because she’s the other nya)

The Bad Guys

like your usual rogues gallery, these guys dont really work together and just wreak havoc independently....... until the big twist that they all really Were in cahoots reveals itself!!! idk if they are tho, the good guys ^ are where most of my brainpower went. theyre numbered but really there’s no order.

1. Nico - in a villainous trio with RinMaki, kind of their leader - her aesthetic now that she’s Evil is assassin-ish which is totally Not nico. the cops will never suspect heehee (she doesnt kill people tho even if she totally can) - her powers include super regeneration (yes Super), super senses, and super strength. also now she has knives n swords n guns. Deadpool nico - for her mundane identity she’s a nico nico neet i think, living apart from her family - archnemesis: Mari, but in an ‘oh fuck not you again’ way kinda

2. Rin - Hanayo’s old friend. she lets hanayo in on the fact that she’s workin on some shady stuff with nickmack but she also asks hanayo to only tip the team off at the right time...... mysterious - currently maki’s schoolmate in her mundane identity. keeps up with schoolwork and crime despite having no life-juggling training with the help of her superpowers - rin is fast in that her neural system works at multiple times the speed of a regular person. fast brain, fast action, a+ coordination and memory skills. more clever than your average rin - also she’s still a star athlete that can parkour with the best of them and recently got her paws on some high-tech hacker/spyware. eventually she even learns to mod it herself - she’s lynx themed get it -leaves villain calling cards. for The Plan - archnemesis: Super You

3. Maki - kinda very sad about leaving her old team, esp riko, whom she was supposed to mentor, but like she wont show it - sure they steal but she still has Money just in case. also she has some houses to hide out in i guess - kind of mission control now. only reveals herself in the most dramatic moments. kind of a big deal - regenerates, can help others regenerate, can straight up manipulate blood n stuff. can also sense heartbeats and make hearts explode (not that she has). Danger danger - archnemesis: Super Riko :(

4. Yoshiko - Died and was resurrected as some kind of pseudo-angel ofc. doesnt remember her life as a human and fsr nothing comes up in investigation either. slightly concerned about the fact that no one who knew her is looking for her and about the lack of such people in the first place - has a bad handle on her powers. her flight and invulnerability do their jobs, but her fires start at bad times and her feathers feel a little more like needles than down and Also they shoot. porcupine bullet wings. her super senses give her headaches. sucks to be her - her flavor of villainy is more like ‘local safety hazard flies again’ - ‘yoshiko’s dead, george. I’m yohane now’  - archnemesis: Super Kotori, whom she’s naturally opposed to fsr

5. Ruby - woke up from some kind of sci-fi stasis with powers, was confused, accidentally blew shit up and got locked up. very stressful beginning for ruby - she’s staying in the basement of HQ while they observe her and try to help her manage her explosive powers. Hanayo, especially, tries to help - vaguely remembers having a sister. also has positive feelings about some ‘hanamaru’ - again her archnemesis is a Friend so

6. Dia - woke up from some kind of sci-fi stasis missing some of her old skeleton and a portion of her spine. she’s part terminator now - on that note she’s got Very Fast reflexes now and among other things, a more efficient circulatory system. doesnt tire easily. also immune to electric shock and is cybernetically connected with her special Not-Adamantium™ sword+armor. most bullet wounds are nonlethal to her. - is looking for ruby. among other things - incidentally her mask is very important to her because her mole as a facial feature is really incriminating. no clark kenting for her - lowkey wanted to be Eli’s right hand man in the past. ended up being enemies with Eli’s actual right hand - archnemesis: Umi

7. Kanan - she’s like if sharkboy was also a waterbender and an eel. aqualad but with more Teeth. u feel - tbh idk what her personal agenda is anymore but she’s kind of a cowboy - buddies with dia in both their identities. inconvenient hiding her gills tho - also they share origin stories but the corrosive vat of radioactive waste or w/e turned her into a fish person instead of melting her from the inside like it did with dia - archnemesis: Super Eli

The Other Guys

the news doesnt know what to make of them. theyre very mysterious 

1. Honoka - honoka’s body is missing (hidden in an evil lair somewhere) but portions of her mind and powers were uploaded into a robot. honkbot gradually gets more honoka-like with every encounter it was with the Dream Team - as a robot, her steel does not melt and no substance on earth can scratch it. probably can crush her tho  - Lots of Fire. breathes fire, shoots fire, flies with fire, kind of a human-shaped tank with flamethrowers. honoka as a fleshy also could not be burnt (but she probs couldnt survive in space) - honoka’s mind does her best to hack the robot. with her mind. - archnemesis: Super Chika ofc

2. Nozomi - knows shit. what shit? only she knows - kind of friendly with yoshiko and tries to help out but yoshiko is equal parts shy and abrasive with people so they dont hang much - telepathic, can see spirits, sometimes gets glimpses of the future. her cards can cut things - the wildest of wildcards. gives tips to Everyone - also leaves contact cards. she can weaponize them tho - no archnemesis

3. Hanamaru - i’ll be frank i have no idea what maru can do but chances are she’s met nozomi - most likely a human burdened with knowledge of super affairs - maybe she remembers yoshiko too. maybe she connects it all - no archnemesis

4. Mari - powers: Money. also her left arm is entirely robotic. she lost it saving kanan and dia from radioactive Death. it’s bulletproof, can shoot things, communicate with her personal vehicles, and has wifi tho - doesnt really involve herself much with stuff going on but she’s biding her time and savings, waiting for The Right Moment. vague - keeps an eye on everyone and everything but especially KanaDia, who have unfortunately split up from her. she keeps them alive tho - actually she’s responsible for turning Dia into Samurai!Terminator. (dia consented to it ofc) - no secret identity! mari ohara being a cyborg is just another celebrity fun fact - archnemesis: Super Nico, who keeps stealing her stuff!! she doesnt mind too much tho

side info: - the Dream Team are also kind of the spiritual successors of Tsubasa, Anju and Erena (we’ll call them the Arisers). Honoka is Tsubasa’s literal successor, but by the time of that succession the three of them has disbanded, mostly bc Tsubasa fuckin Died. - saint snow are probably telepathic parkour artists or someth. also good guys tho. if the plot ever goes to sci-fi hokkaido we’ll see them there - t b h  shion girls academy are their own justice league, and YG international school are international supers who do superheroics in two countries. supers everywhere - Captain Pacific is an international super too - right now it’s no plot just lore

[thrashermaxey]

Ramblings: Quenneville Hired; Lineup News; Playoff Thoughts – April 9

  Legendary coach Joel Quenneville was hired by the Florida Panthers to be their next bench boss on Monday morning. He replaces the recently fired Bob Boughner and will try to take the Panthers to the playoffs for the first time in four years, and past the first round for the first time in over 20 years.

You can read Dobber’s take on the hiring here.

All I will say is that I do not believe coaching was and is the issue with the Panthers. I’ll leave it at that.

*

If there was any concern about Victor Hedman, he was patrolling the top power play unit in practice for the Bolts on Monday. He looks like he’s just fine to go.

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As far as Pittsburgh is concerned, we may see a re-emergence of Third Line Phil Kessel to begin the postseason. That’s speculation on my part based on jerseys in practice but it’s something that has happened with frequency in Kessel’s Pittsburgh tenure, including their first Cup run; remember the HBK line?

For those in deeper playoff leagues, Brian Dumoulin had a full practice but is still considered day-to-day. Do what you will with that information.

*

Mats Zuccarello was at Stars practice on the second line with Jamie Benn.

*

Timo Meier was practicing for San Jose after missing the last game of the season.

*

Mikko Rantanen skated with the Avalanche in practice on Monday but did so in a non-contact jersey. Even if he were to return for Game 1 against Calgary, it’s a question of how healthy he is. Is he really healthy or is he Playoff Healthy?

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For those with playoff drafts the next couple night, don't forget to grab your copy of the 2019 Interactive Dobber Hockey Playoff List! It's available now in the Dobber Shop. 

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No other reason to post this other than someone at some marketing firm deserves a raise for this:

Have a great day everyone #habs #ch #gohabsgo pic.twitter.com/u7aaK9Ku22

— JAⓂ️ES4VER (@JDP4FOREVER) April 8, 2019

  *

Last week, I accidentally posted a Ramblings on a day I wasn’t scheduled – a good reminder to always double-check scheduling. I had posted some thoughts on the playoffs but pulled the Ramblings down early in the morning. I’m going to re-post these thoughts now but I’ve added a couple more, so even if you were an early riser and caught my mistake, there should be something new in here.

  St. Louis is The Team

I was pretty skeptical of Craig Berube taking over but I also had high hopes on this team coming into the year to begin with. Berube has taken this team from last in the NHL to nearly a division title. It’s remarkable.

To be sure, Jordan Binnington has been a big part of this. Let’s not overstate Berube’s impact, though: before he was brought on, the team was 24th in the NHL with a 47.1 percent adjusted shot share at five-on-five. Since Berube’s promotion on November 20th, the Blues are 7th in adjusted shot share at 53.6 percent. Again, it’s remarkable.

It will depend on the fantasy pool. Some pools may contain very sharp players who are aware this information, or they may contain more casual fans who still see the Jets and Predators as the cream of the crop in the Central. Since the calendar turned 2019, or over the latter half of the season, the Blues are 2nd in adjusted shot share while the Predators are 10th and the Jets are 24th. We can chalk part of Winnipeg’s drop up to the losses of Dustin Byfuglien and Josh Morrissey but there are legitimate questions to how healthy they are. At worst, the Blues should be seen to be on par with their divisional comrades.

All this makes St. Louis ‘The Team’ to draft from in your pools. Quite frankly, in the West, I would rather have to play Nashville and Winnipeg in the first two rounds than any two of Calgary-San Jose-Vegas.

This all feels too familiar. It feels like this is about the fifth time I’ve thought that this could be the year for St. Louis. However, this team is playing excellent hockey and Binnington has been great. This is a tough out for any opponent as long as Binnington keeps up his play. In that sense, guys like Tarasenko, O’Reilly, Schenn, Pietrangelo, and others are all going to be prioritized for me. Let everyone else load up on Tampa, Calgary, or Washington.

  Don’t Write Off Toronto

Ok, I get it. The Bruins have been, let’s say, a thorn in the side of Leafs fans for the past decade. Boston is a legitimate Cup threat and that is a tall task for any team in the first round. Would it be easier for Toronto to face the Islanders or Penguins? Sure. Would this be an improbable win? No. They went 1-3 against the Bruins in the regular season with one of those losses coming with Garret Sparks in net and one of those losses was a one-goal loss with Michael Hutchinson in net. Since the All-Star Break, the Bruins are 3rd in adjusted shot share while the Leafs are 8th (from Natural Stat Trick). Since the All-Star Break, the Bruins are 8th in expected goal share while the Leafs are 10th (from Corsica). Toronto also got Travis Dermott back recently and Jake Gardiner returned on Thursday night. They’ve been relatively even teams for the last 25-30 games, and both should be at full strength when the playoffs roll around. I agree the Boston should be the favourite, especially with home ice, but this out-of-hand writing off of Toronto is extreme.

Now, whether they can get past both Boston and Tampa Bay is another question entirely.

  Yo-Yo Caps

All year, I’ve been railing on the Caps both in these Ramblings and on Twitter for under-performance. They were maintaining a playoff spot, but through the trade deadline, they had a lower adjusted shot share than the Sabres. Since the deadline, however, this team looks like a machine, ranking fourth in adjusted shot share and leading the NHL in points percentage. So, they’re an experienced just turning it on at crunch time, right?

Well, I have some thoughts.

The Caps have played 19 games since the trade deadline and they have included: OTT (1), NYR (1), NJD (2), PHI (3), FLA (1), MIN (1), WPG (1), and NYI (2). Those 12 games are all teams outside the top-15 in adjusted shot share, and 7 of those games (OTT/NYR/NJD/PHI) are against teams in the bottom-6. Just three of the 19 games were against teams in the top-10 in adjusted shot share, two against Carolina and one against Montreal.  

There are two ways to look at this: the Caps are taking advantage of a Charmin schedule and beating the teams they should beat, or the Caps only look as good as they do because of said Charmin schedule. I suppose it depends on your natural disposition.

The Metro doesn’t look particularly difficult, but the Caps get Carolina in the first round and that is not a matchup they want (even if they won the season series against the Hurricanes). They’d have been better off finishing second in the division. Quite honestly, I don’t know what to make of the Caps. They’re winning games, and that’s all that matters, but there’s a nagging voice in my head that says this team isn’t nearly as good as they appear to be. It feels like I said that last year, though…

  Let’s Talk About Jets, Baby

I will concede that the Jets did not play nearly as well in the second half of the season as they did in the first half. Through New Year’s Eve, the Jets were a top-10 team by adjusted shot share at five-on-five. From New Year’s Eve through to the end of the season, the Jets were 25th, sandwiched between Detroit and Edmonton. Not great.

Of course, there are mitigating circumstances.

Dustin Byfuglien was injured on December 29th. He returned in early February for five games and then was injured again, not returning until the end of March. That’s important because Byfuglien is a top-pair defenceman whose relative expected goals against numbers were among the top-20 defencemen league-wide this year. Over the last three years, Mark Scheifele’s shot share numbers drop from nearly 53 percent to under 49 percent when he’s not on the ice with Byfuglien, while Bryan Little’s drops from 52.2 percent to 49.2 percent. Big Buff is an important player.

Beyond Byfuglien, Josh Morrissey hasn’t played since late February and, at worst, he’s a second-pair defenceman at the moment. Nikolaj Ehlers, a top-line winger at both ends of the ice, missed seven weeks from early January through the end of February.

All this is to say there were significant injuries suffered by the Jets and most of the time, they were missing at least two of the players listed. Scheifele isn’t the type of centre who drives shot share to a significant degree, and Little isn’t the same guy he was five years ago. It’s a small wonder, then, that Winnipeg’s metrics took a big hit in the second half of the season.

As we head into the playoffs, Ehlers is healthy, Byfuglien is supposedly healthy, they traded for Kevin Hayes to run as their second-line centre, and it appears Morrissey could return as well. This is not the same lineup that skated in the middle of February.

Of course, exactly how healthy Morrissey and Byfuglien really are is up for debate. But if they’re the players they’ve shown to be in their careers, this Jets team could be… flying under the radar… heading into playoffs.

  The Pacific Buzzsaw

There should be concern for both Vegas and San Jose fans. For as much as some people want to complain that the Bruins and/or Leafs have been hosed by the playoff format, I’d be equally perturbed, if not more so, to be a Sharks or Golden Knights fan. These two are probably top-5 teams (using metrics other than ‘wins’) that will face off in the first round. The winner of that series gets the great fortune of likely facing the Flames in the second round, a top-5 team by adjusted shot share since Christmas. So, Vegas and San Jose, probably two top-5 teams in the NHL, have to face each other in the first round, and the winner likely gets another top-5 team. Whew baby.

I get the goaltending concerns, and there are some for each of the three teams (be it underperformance in the case of Jones/Dell and Smith/Rittich, or questions about what Vegas would do if Fleury were to be injured) but that doesn’t make the actual on-ice team any easier to play against. The Pacific is a buzzsaw, and I want no part of Sharks or Golden Knights skaters in my pools.

  What About the Metro?

Any ideas about the Metro? Anyone?

I outlined above why I’m not sure about Washington’s playoff chances this year. Then we have to think about Pittsburgh, a team with back-to-back Stanley Cups very recently, backed by Matt Murray, who had a .926 save percentage after Christmas. There’s Carolina, one of the hottest teams in the NHL in the second half, backing that up with very solid metrics. And finally, the Islanders, who were never expected to be here in the first place, but go into the playoffs with the best goaltending tandem in the NHL this year combined with a very good defensive team.

What to make of all this?

I genuinely believe that Carolina is one of the best teams in the NHL. They couldn’t score through the first three months of the season but once their luck turned around, they were one of the best teams in the NHL; after New Year’s, the Hurricanes had the third-most points in the NHL, two behind Tampa and three behind St. Louis. They did that while posting the third-best adjusted shot share in the NHL. Once they started scoring – and during their white-hot second half they weren’t even top-5 in shooting percentage at five-on-five – they were a juggernaut.

But Pittsburgh is getting healthy at the right time while coming in with little fanfare, which all feels dangerous, Washington is the defending champ and are following a script similar to last year, and the Islanders are good enough defensively and in net to take down any team. The Metro is the division I feel least comfortable about projecting, and that’s after what I just said about the Pacific.

*

What are your thoughts on the impending postseason? Are there teams that you’re targeting? Which matchups bring concern? Are there even backup goaltenders that could fly under the radar like Braden Holtby last year (I know, calling him a backup is a stretch but he was the backup goalie at this time last year)? Sound off below. 

from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-quenneville-hired-lineup-news-playoff-thoughts-april-9/

[crystalelemental]

I've been thinking: Eevee evolutions have really dropped off in usefulness, huh? Espeon is really the only one with a strong defined niche...which is currently banned by Smogon rules.  Good night, sweet Baton Pass...  But the rest are really falling off because of power and speed creep.  What were once strong niches have become less valued over time as new tools took their roles, and what was always bad has gotten substantially worse.  Today, I'd like to talk about how to go about improving things.  There are going to be a lot of suggestions here, not all of which need to happen, but most of which should.

1. Stat increases. I propose increasing one of the two base 65 stats to 85.  It's a substantial increase, and is virtually all certain Pokemon really need to thrive. Consider:

Flareon: +20 speed, lets it hit a more comfortable base 85, which, after a Flame Charge, puts it over base 130 speed.

Vaporeon: +20 speed.  It was this or attack, and it doesn't need attack.  Being slightly faster as a wall is surprisingly valuable, but ultimately it's not that significant.

Jolteon: +20 HP.  Again, this or attack.  An argument could be made for attack, but an increase in bulk for a fast but frail creature would be really helpful.

Espeon: +20 HP.  Why do so many Eeveelutions have 65 attack and 60 defense?   Really, it's the same as Jolteon, but with no justification for attack.

Umbreon: +20 speed.  It typically doesn't use attack, so I think a slightly faster wall would be more beneficial.  Especially since it tends to run Foul Play.

Leafon: +20 Special Defense.  Leafeon has some great tools already, its biggest problems are just the standard movepool problem and limited special defense.  Patch up one of the obvious problems.

Glaceon: +20 speed, because just like Flareon, Glaceon desperately needs it.  It does hurt functioning under TR, but 65 base speed is a no-man's land of speed tiers, being just too fast to really thrive in TR, but way too slow out of it.  85 base speed at least can outpace bulkier offensive threats.

Sylveon: +20 defense.  Just like Leafeon, all it really wants is added bulk in terms of stats.  Defense is more valuable than HP, I think, so we go with this.

2. Secondary Abilities.  Eevee has two abilities, and a Hidden Ability.  Despite this, Eeveelutions have one ability based on their typing, and a hidden ability that is either very hit or very miss.  I propose we create a secondary ability for all Eeveelutions.  Primary abilities like Flash Fire, Water Absorb, etc. will come from Run Away Eevee.  Adaptability Eevee will become the -ate abilities.  Carbonize for fire, Liquify for water, Galvinize for electric, Mentalize for psychic, Eclipse for dark, Pollinate for grass, Refrigerate for ice, and Pixellate for Sylveon.   Each of them would have access to Return or Hyper Voice as a stronger version of their attacks, which benefits Flareon and Glaceon most.   Flareon now doesn't lose a bunch of HP from its only offensive STAB, and Glaceon can now function outside of Hail to a degree.  Of course, all of them get a power buff with these moves, but those two are the clear winners, while Umbreon...kinda doesn't care. Umbreon needs #3 to succeed, and nothing else.

3. Change hidden abilities. If the last one wasn't a dead give-away, I think hidden abilities need to be re-assessed.  Some are working beautifully, most are not.  If we accomplish #2, then Sylveon needs a change anyway.  Of course, you could keep the above as hidden abilities, but then this would just become "give them secondary abilities" and now Espeon needs to retain Magic Bounce, so however you want to shake that out.

Flareon: Guts is awful.  It can only use Toxic, which combined with Flare Blitz, kills it in about two turns.  If the opponent packs Protect, you're already dead.  It has some options.  Tough Claws is one, flat-out raising its attack by a respectable amount.  One is Technician, offering a stronger Quick Attack and Flame Charge.  The other interesting option is Simple. Flame Charge giving +2 speed would be incredible, and there's a move I'll recommend adding that would also make Simple a divine choice.  Lastly, Fluffy.  Just...think about it.  Patching up that poor defensive stat, base 85 Speed that increases with Flame Charge, and what do you lose?  Your resistance to fire?  Until people know what ability you’re running, you could be outright immune to Fire and gain a power boost from it.  Probably not as good, since Flareon just wants to hit stuff, but it’s an idea.

Vaporeon: Is actually okay, I think.  If you want to give it anything else, Storm Drain might still be good.   Increasing special attack of Vaporeon when it switches in to Water moves creates a stronger sweeper, though its low speed means that Water Absorb would be more preferred regardless. The real winner, to me, would be Immunity.  Hydration was great in the era of perpetual rain, but now that it's gone, Hydration is sorely lacking.  Immunity doesn't let you Rest and recover the sleep status instantly, but it does prevent Toxic from obliterating the utility of Vaporeon's bulk.

Jolteon: Quick Feet is the worst thing it could've gotten.  Jolteon doesn't appreciate status at all, barring maybe Burns, but even then it's not ideal.  Really, it comes down to a flat improvement to all moves under certain conditions, or certain moves being the best options guaranteed. Lightningrod gives a big special boost, but only if you switch in on electric attacks.  By comparison, Sheer Force gives a nice boost to Thunder, Thunderbolt, Shadow Ball, and an option I'll mention later.   Sheer Force is probably more consistent, so I kind of favor that.

Espeon: Is perfectly fine with Magic Bounce, thank you.

Umbreon: Just give it Magic Bounce.  Make Espeon and Umbreon mirror images again.  I know at the time, a super bulky Dark type with the ability to reflect status and hazards seemed too much, but Mega Sableye exists and would still outperform Umbreon anyway with Will-o-Wisp and Calm Mind and a better recovery move, so just...let it be a really effective version of Mega Sableye in UU and give it Magic Bounce.  Please.

Leafeon: Okay, so its hidden ability is Chlorophyll.  First thing's first, that needs to be the primary.  Leaf Guard is absolute trash and shouldn't exist. Ideally, I'd swap out both, but it needs one ability that's decidedly grass-aligned.  We got that?  Good.  Leafeon has several options as well. Super Luck could be hilarious with Leaf Blade, and a recommended move addition below, but is too chance-based.  I also really like the idea of Poison Heal, allowing it to take status and recover, which pairs well with its buffed special defense.  If they’d give it Leech Seed, the healing potential would be great, especially in tandem with a buffed 85 special defense.  By comparison, Defiant or Moxie would be a great offensive abilitiy.  Leafeon seems resilient, so I like the idea of Moxie better, and it seems particularly fair given how hard it is for it to net KOs with its current movepool.  Plus it’s not like a Grass-type couldn’t use the help, and 95 speed isn’t that impressive anyway...

Glaceon: The more I think about it, the more there's only one option I want to see: Technician.  Glaceon would be the sole best user of this ability among Eeveelutions, packing Icy Wind and Water Pulse as strong move options, as well as a greatly enhanced Ice Shard if needed.  There's also another move I'll recommend that it get later that would benefit it greatly.  I would also like to recommend Slush Rush as its primary ability, but I understand why they might not do that.

Sylveon: Natural Cure is another good option, and Serene Grace could be hysterical with Moonblast, but both of those are unlikely and very limited comparatively to Pixellate.  One option is Triage.  That gives it the same tech as Comfey, with access to Calm Mind and Draining Kiss.  Personally, I like the idea of Oblivious.  Immunity to taunt on a Cleric is fantastic. Losing power in Pixellate Hyper Voice hurts, but it's a trade-off in security where an attempt to stop you with Taunt is only going to ensure you get that Wish off.

So, to close:

Flareon: Tough Claws/Simple/Fluffy?

Vaporeon: Immunity

Jolteon: Sheer Force

Espeon: Magic Bounce

Umbreon: Magic Bounce

Leafeon: Poison Heal/Moxie

Glaceon: Technician

Sylveon: Oblivious

4. New moves for Eevee. One of the biggest problems for Eeveelutions is that their movepools are Not Good.  They're very limited in their roles to only performing along what their type is known for, and as a result, they don't really excel at anything beyond that.  Worse, at least for Glaceon, Vaporeon has Ice coverage and a better typing, so there's no reason to ever run Glaceon.  This is exactly why Eevee needs some new tools; to expand on what the full range of Eeveelutions have access to.  Consider the following:

Shock Wave - a simple, low-power electric attack that cannot miss. Generally, it would go unused, but if combined with Glaceon's Technician, it gives it a lot of power.  Ultimately limited use, but electric coverage is a nice addition, generally.  Also it totally makes sense.  I think anything with fur should be able to create some kind of minor electric attack, personally, but that’s just me.

Drill Run - Just like Lycanroc, I think these kinds of Pokemon should have Drill Run almost as a default. Ground coverage is supremely valuable, and gives Leafeon a way to actually use Ground without Z-Dig.  Flareon also greatly appreciates the added coverage.

Aura Sphere - Look, Eevee's a Pokemon so in-tune with nature that its evolutions are based on the presence of a particularly cold rock in a 10-mile radius.  Clearly it has some ability for intuition.  Plus, Fighting is optimal coverage for just about anything, given how many super-effective matchups it gets.  This gives Espeon excellent coverage, gives Glaceon much-needed ability to muscle past Steel types, while Jolteon and Specs Sylveon can really benefit from it as well.

Earth Power - The alternative to Aura Sphere.  The only reason I'm slightly against it is that it means any hypothetical Ground-type Eeveelution in the future now must be a physical attacker, because the special move is available to all forms.  But for similar reasons as above, I do think Eevee getting this move makes some sense, and again, every special attacker it evolves into, which is most of them, would benefit.

Knock Off - Some Eeveelutions already get this.  But not all of them do, and they should.  Flareon and Leafeon benefit the most, but Leafeon already had this so it's really just a desperate cry for Flareon to get something useful.

Crunch - Just an alternative to Knock Off.  Not entirely necessary, but it's an option that deals better damage to thinks with Mega Stones or Z-Crystals, and would be breedable instead of requiring battle points to acquire.

Shadow Claw - Eevee has earned a physical Ghost move.  Far from necessary, but again, it's nice to have some options here.

Bulk Up - An alternative boosting move that not only benefits Eevee, but its horrifically outclassed physically offensive evolutions!  Flareon makes the best use, getting much-needed power and patching up its weak defense.

Calm Mind - A few Eeveelutions already get this.  Somehow, Glaceon is not one of them.  Unacceptable, please fix this.

Extremespeed - The big one.  On its own, it's a solid priority move for Flareon and Leafeon, and would make Eevee nightmarish in LC.  But the real benefit is if it's paired with the -ate abilities.  Changing to a STAB move, with a +20% boost, makes Extremespeed an incredible addition to their arsenal.  This is also why I mentioned +20 attack being a possibility for Jolteon.  85 attack may not be great, but Extremespeed with that kind of boosted power can still dent a lot.

Also, while these aren't for Eevee, give Flareon Blaze Kick so it doesn't kamikaze itself in two turns, and give Leafeon Leech Seed so it can be an asshole.

All moves aren't 100% necessary, but I like giving options.  Nothing hurts worse than a shallow movepool.  But just to clarify, here's what benefits most from what options:

Flareon - If it gets Simple, really wants Bulk Up to double its offensive standing and terrible defense.  It can then also use Flame Charge to double speed, but then is left with two offensive moves.  Flare Blitz is one, which will definitely hurt, and I'd almost say Drill Run is the next best option, given Ground-type's utility.  Knock Off would also be great. Basically, you're making a choice: low coverage, high speed but limited defense and offense, or high offense and bulk but limited speed.  It's not going to toss it to OU, as every option has severe limitations, but still.

Vaporeon - Could maybe benefit from Calm Mind and Shock Wave to be offensive?  But is frankly better off doing cleric stuff and phasing.

Jolteon - Aura Sphere and/or Earth Power is all it could want in life.  Calm Mind is also invaluable, but low physical bulk means it's probably not staying in to boost much.

Espeon - Aura Sphere is all it could ever want.

Umbreon - Literally benefits from nothing here, unless you really want to be that guy who tries to run a boosting offensive Umbreon with the new tools.  Which is not going to work out, sorry to say.

Leafeon - Drill Run alleviates it having to use Z-Dig for coverage, Bulk Up increases its best two stats but is slower than Swords Dance for damage, and it already had Knock Off.  So I guess Extremespeed and Leech Seed are the only new tools it appreciates.

Glaceon - The first winner of improved movepool.  Glaceon wants those coverage options so badly.  Fighting, Ground, and Electric are divine choices for a pure-Ice type.  Technician is required to make it shine, but just having a few of those choices is all it could ever want.  Also Calm Mind.  If it gets 85 base speed, it could actually boost before slower threats act, and a boosted 130 special attack is formidable.

Sylveon - The odd Specs or Calm Mind set would appreciate Earth Power most of all, to hit Steel and Poison-types that try to come in on it.  Aura Sphere would also be nice.  Beyond that, it's not as impressed.

Conclusions These changes, I think, would do well enough to get most Eeveelutions to UU or above.  Each Eeveelution needs a different piece of this, so ultimately, I think all adjustments are necessary, but in case you're wondering which are most needed based on who's doing the worst, here are your answers:

Flareon - Needs all three.  Movepool alone won't fix bad stats and abilities.  Ability alone won't fix bad movepool and low speed, and no amount of +2 speed in one attack is going to help.  I would know.  I've tried to run Agility Ampharos.  Even with +2, you still need a lot of speed to survive in this horrific speed-creep-infested meta.  And of course, stats alone won't fix that the movepool is shallow and abilities suck.  Even with two of three, you have issues.  Enhance moves and abilities means it has Simple with a lot of good boosts, but it falls short due to low base speed and defense, requiring it to get really lucky with that setup.   Stats and abilities means it's faster, but lacks coverage to threaten things that resist Fire.  Stats and moves...yeah, no.  It's probably the best combination of two, but without ability, it's just too limited to shine.  Breaking UU would require all three, no question, and even then, it's limited.  Maybe Tough Claws would be better than Simple...

Vaporeon - The speed is nice but not necessary, and the added moves won't really change how Vaporeon plays, offering alternatives to Ice Beam that most aren't going to use.  Immunity is also nice, but it's still lacking compared to Hydration Rest, so...Vaporeon doesn't gain as much here.

Jolteon - The added HP is borderline irrelevant to it, and the change in abilities is ultimately a minor improvement.  But those move options?   That's where it's at.  That's what could get Jolteon back in the game, for sure.  Earth Power also gets a Sheer Force boost, so with Life Orb and Sheer Force, suddenly Jolteon's power is back to relevance.  Of course, you can also give up that power for Sash or Scarf or something, but Life Orb would definitely be Jolteon's most appreciated option.

Espeon - Another with little to gain, but would appreciate offensive options, at least in Smogon play.  Let's be honest, outside of Smogon, singles play means Baton Pass is running just fine, and Espeon will always have the niche on lock.  But with that banned, it's just be nice to have better coverage attacks to let it stay relevant in separate forms of play.

Umbreon - Just give it Magic Bounce.  I'm so serious, that's literally all it needs is a better ability.  Its bulk isn't what it used to be, but it's still tremendous, and it even gets a hold item.  I'm pretty sure it's overall tankier than Mega Sableye.   Sableye just has a better typing and a few better tools, so Umbreon would likely be UU if it didn't get banished to BL, but all it needs is that one change.  Everything else is meaningless to it.  No amount of boosting will salvage its low offenses, and even with the coverage options, it's still limited since you need the boosting option and Moonlight, leaving you with two moves.

Leafeon - Much like Flareon, desperately wants all three.  Leafeon does not have a good ability right now, and while Chlorophyll is situationally helpful, it needs something better.  Added special bulk is necessary for being able to take hits, since any fast special sweeper is going to steamroll it currently.  Moxie means it gets a nice increase in power, which pairs well with Scarf, Band, or even Assault Vest as item options for just about any role, while Poison Heal would mean excellent recovery potential with Leech Seed support.  And of course, the moves means it's no longer reliant on Z-Dig for much-needed Ground coverage.

Glaceon - Movepool, movepool, movepool.  Glaceon currently gets shit-all for moves, and it would love new options, especially Ground, Electric, and Fighting options.  Technician would also be a great addition for it, but it really only benefits from that in tandem with Shock Wave being made available.  And of course, even with those tools, it needs +20 to speed if it's going to outpace bulkier threats and wallbreak efficiently.   With all three, it could earn a place in UU, potentially, just based on power and coverage.  But with two of the three, it's probably not moving past NU, frankly.  It's just like Flareon, but with a substantially easier problem to fix.

Sylveon - Stats are the only thing it cares about.  Movepool could help the Specs sets, giving it better coverage options than it currently has, but the added +20 in defense really lets it do its cleric job much more effectively.   Oblivious, while possibly its best answer, is just...not going to be used over Pixellate as often as I would think it should be.