#because it’s fanfiction and they can create their own experience JUST AS YOU CAN TOO

[theotherbuckley]

Just a reminder that people can write whatever they like! If you don’t like it don’t read it! It’s so simple. It doesn’t matter if you think it’s bad. It’s fanFICTION. Which people do for free. If you don’t like it don’t interact. You can ever block or mute them!! But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. As long as they’re tagged correctly they’re giving you the tag you need to decide if you don’t want to read it.

[no-psi-nan]

Disclaimer: Fanfiction is for fun times and it doesn't have to be "good" to exist and be shared!! Also just like all advice in the world YMMV (your mileage may vary) and the fact is that the best writing advice is whatever gets you writing!

STEP ONE of good characterization:

YOU ARE NOT THE CHARACTER. THE CHARACTER IS NOT YOU. STOP RELATING TO THE CHARACTER.

They do not think the way you think. They will not react the way you react. They don't have your morals, preferences, tastes, fashion sense, etc etc etc.

You are not the guy.

You must appreciate them as a separate person. Only once you have separated them from yourself in your heart can you start on the road to knowing your blorbo....

STEP TWO of good characterization:

When asking any question about the character at all, START FROM CANON.

If the exact answer is not in the canon, pick the CLOSEST scenario / fact / interaction, and work from there.

Example: Blorbo has never seen Glup Shitto held at gunpoint. But Blorbo was really angry when Glup Shitto's diary was stolen, and freaked out during another life or death situation.

Held at gunpoint is like 10x more fucked up than the diary so make Blorbo's like 10x angrier and similarly freaked out.

STEP THREE of good characterization:

For details that are not addressed at all in canon, use THEMES, GENRE, and CHARACTER ARCHETYPE/ROLE to create a believable rendition of the character.

Don't forget to include any quirks that significantly set them apart from similar characters when choosing these things btw.

Your BRILLIANT POWERFUL SCIENTIST may have dark polished hardwood furniture that speaks to sophistication but show her love of travel with tchotchkes from around the world.

Your ANGTSY MANPAIN MAN may choose military combat gear but wear pink socks because his daughter picked them out.

Your MANIC PIXIE DREAM GUY may love jogging with his cute dog in the park but reveals hints of a DARK PAST in his music playlist. And in the gun he keeps in his fanny pack.

Don't forget that other characters likely have their own knowledge and opinions of blorbo that you can draw from. If Glup Shitto is consistently wrong about blorbo and thinks blorbo is probably a good cook, make blorbo a bad cook. If Glup Shitto is blorbo's childhood best friend and used to play doll murder courthouse a lot, it's a good stretch to say that blorbo may have played doll murder courthouse as a child too, and this was something they did together.

STEP FOUR of good characterization:

DO A LITTLE RESEARCH!!

The character almost certainly hasn't taken the exact life path as you. If they are from a different area, look into cultural norms that may differ from yours.

No one is expecting you to be the foremost scholar on Japanese etiquette or British regional slang, but a little can go a long way.

People in places with socialized healthcare should not be worrying about medical bills, blorbos in tropical areas will not experience the seasons as much as you might, other cultures attitudes towards nudity/sex/drugs may be wildly different to yours.

IF you actually have relevant experience then feel free to use it in your fics. But don't forget that you are not the guy! Really think through how their perspective may differ even in the same situation.

STEP FIVE of good characterization:

PUT LOVE INTO IT AND HAVE FUN!!!

If you don't love Glup Shitto, don't write about them! If you're not having fun, hit the bricks!

Fanfiction is for HAVING A GOOD TIME and SHARING WITH OTHER FREAKS!!!!!!

Much love!! 💕

[olderthannetfic]

Writing about my favorite characters as transgender has opened my eyes to how many people in fandom are able to get away with actual transphobia without other people judging them for it, and after one particularly bad experience I feel like I can't participate in fandom without constantly having to check people's profiles and social media to see whether or not they might secretly hate trans people. The fandom I currently write for is relatively small compared to others, but somehow I still manage to catch a lot of casual transphobia, especially on my higher-kudos'd works. This didn't really bother me at first since most of the comments were misinformed but rather harmless otherwise, with most asking me to write a fic where the MC medically transitions to become their "real gender" as a sequel. Those comments were written politely, but the sentiment that a person's body designates their gender bothered me a lot. I specifically present the trans characters in my fics as pre-op or non-op without dysphoria in order to feel more comfortable about my own body, and I'm really tired of reiterating the reasons why I personally won’t create a fic where the MC undergoes a full medical transition. I would be thrilled if someone else wrote that, but it’s not a concept I have any interest in executing myself.

Usually the casual transmedicalism in my comments is my only real gripe about the attitudes towards transness in my fandom, but recently I joined a major fandom discord server and found out that they had a dedicated thread for bashing my work. (Well, to be more accurate they had a bunch of threads for bashing people's works, but mine had the most messages at the time.) I should have just left at that point, but I was curious to see if there was any valid criticism because honestly I don’t get a lot of constructive feedback on my newer stuff and I wanted to see if there was anywhere I could improve. Unfortunately, it was almost entirely just really hurtful comments, with many people making assumptions about my body and offline identity, calling me a fake trans person and a chaser for the things I've written. They kept going on about how I'm fetishizing transness, how I probably just wanted an excuse to write het smut with an M/M tag on it, how I'm probably not actually a trans man but an obsessed and misguided teenage girl instead. I've been on T for over two years now, but even if I wasn’t, their belief that all bodies like mine are basically "female" was really upsetting. Maybe I just happened to stumble upon a bad crowd, but at that moment I just really felt alone. I never expected to receive that kind of vitriol in such a small fandom - I have maybe like five or so people who follow my work closely, so it's not like I'm hitting super big numbers compared to others. I understand that my work might be dysphoria-inducing for other people, but I include warnings for language at the beginning of all my fics and I'm extremely thorough about tagging all the sex acts that take place. It's easy to filter out my work via additional tags if you don’t want to see it. But no matter how many measures I take to make others feel more comfortable, they still feel like I'm taking up too much space and mucking up the tags with my fanfiction.

Part of me feels like quitting after this experience, but I'm also a spiteful bastard and I think it would haunt me forever if I stopped now lol. I'm curious to know if you or any of your followers has ever dealt with a similar situation (as in, finding out there's a bunch of people who hate your work for shitty reasons), and if you have advice on how to continue interacting with others in fandom without constantly wondering if they hate me behind closed doors. I left the server already but I'm sure there's other things I can do that I'm forgetting. Thanks for reading!!

--

There will always be people who dislike you for silly reasons, and if your fic is popular, there will be a lot of them. The only way to deal with it is to just accept that this is normal and not think about them.

[strangerthingsfanworkrecs]

Artist Highlight: Jo-Harrington

This week, we're highlighting @jo-harrington! All recs this week will be for her work. @jo-harrington writes for the Stranger Things Fandom, with a special focus on xOC, and xReader fics. She's also a great beta-editor and design all the graphics for her fics! We're highlighting Jo for her incredible world building and strong OCs.

You should check out her Store Manager Verse fics for some great fluff and top-tier retail angst Jo answered some questions about her creative process and her work under the cut

Why Stranger Things?

I’ve been an avid ST Fan since the beginning. My old Store Manager and I watched the first episode in the backroom of our store while folding t-shirts and rest was history. Fic-wise, a certain Metalhead Dungeon Master brought me out of a fanfiction posting hiatus and I haven’t looked back since.

What's your favorite ship (platonic or romantic) to create for?

Platonic is always going to be the Hellfire Club boys. I love writing their adventures. Their friendship is epic and deserves to be explored and celebrated. Romantic…EddiexOC or EddiexReader. I mean, I’ve been an xOC girl since my first fandom. xReader is new for me but it’s almost an extension of xOC. I always joke that I’m allowed ONE epic borbo obsession love of my life per decade and I’ll give them one canon pairing but the rest are OCs.

What's your typical writing process like?

I have an idea, I write it down, I get sick of working on a chapter, I don’t edit, I post. (Which is funny because when I beta, I am a lot more detailed. But for my own work I just need it out of my head.) It might not be the best. It could probably read better or have less typos or mistakes. But it’s always from the heart.

How do you come up with your OCs?

I sit there for a long time and figure out how I can put a part of myself into a story. Oops was I not supposed to say that? Sometimes you think of a character that you just can’t help but want to write. But even if they aren’t a manifestation of your physical self or your personality, they almost always end up being an extension of you in some ways, or something you aspire to be. You also need to add some attributes you hate into them, so that they’re not too perfect and you can throttle them around and make them suffer and not feel too bad/let it become a self hatred thing.

What has been your favorite project so far? Why?

Store Manager Verse. (EMxReader) Retail is who I am and who I’ve always been. I had a mall romance irl that went south. So it was a way to rewrite my past with my comfort character…and also give said comfort character a happy ending as well.

What has been your hardest project so far? Why?

As Above, So Below. (EMxOC) It is a passion project, it is a beast, every chapter takes an emotional toll on me and it takes a month—if not more—to recover. But it has been the single most fulfilling project that I’ve worked on in the 20 years I’ve been writing fanfiction. I've been working on it for about 2 years now. 3 more chapters til the end…I’m gonna be very sad when it’s over.

Have you ever had a creative block? How did you get over it?

My brain is just a beehive that I shake every now and again to get the bees angry. Honestly, the bigger block I get into is self-doubt. I have no problem finding the words, it’s the courage to put them to paper I struggle with at times.

Is there a big source of inspiration for you? Books? Art? Games?

Yes all of the above. But in all seriousness, life experience is the best inspiration. There’s only so much research you can do. Truly for me, the canon characters are the source of inspiration. Then I take from things I’ve done, things I’ve read, places I’ve been in order to take an idea to a fully formed plot.

Is there an upcoming project you're particularly excited about?

Eddie Munson Big Bang. I know you’re gonna hear that a lot. I love creating really ambitious AUs and I think this one is really testing my abilities as a writer. It's a crossover fic, in a way, but with a lot of original plot folded in. I hope I do both fandoms/universes justice.

Is there anything we didn't ask that you'd like to add?

I’m from the Midwest, so thank you for listening to all of my long-winded answers. Haha.

[aroaceleovaldez]

Ibr despite having ADHD/autism/depression a lot of the disability themes in PJO you've written about have kind of... managed to fly over my head? Everything you've said makes sense and I accept that you're right, but I've always read the books as a fun "mythology in the modern world" sort of deal.

If I write a pjo fanfic, do I need to highlight disability themes too? I just want to have fun with the setting and characters, but a lot of what you've mentioned is daunting, and I don't know if I could do those themes justice.

Anon, i am gently holding your face. In fandom (and fanfiction is included in that), you are not beholden to the original themes of the work. You can do whatever you want forever. Nobody can stop you. You are creating your own art derivative of this work that can have whatever themes you want because it is yours. If what you want to do is just have fun with the settings and characters and not delve into deeper topics than that, it is your right to do so!!!! If that is what you want to do then that is what you can do! Nobody can stop you from playing in your sandbox however you like.

Also, it can be both fun mythology in the modern world and a discussion about disability themes! These things are not mutually exclusive. Examining themes about disabled experiences in the lens of modern fantasy/mythology can be fun and silly and light-hearted!

When I talk about disability themes in PJO in the context of the fandom, largely I'm discussing how the fandom tends to refuse to acknowledge the disability themes in the original work when discussing the original work itself (outside of fanworks), or refuse to acknowledge characters being disabled at all (or not interacting with disabled characters appropriately - such as using ableist stereotyping or doing no research into portraying disabilities the characters have - this is extremely common with Percy, Leo, and Nico in particular). This is a thing that happens in general fandom a lot, and in any fandom with disabled characters, but it's very poignant in PJO specifically because of how the original work itself is so explicitly about disabled experiences.

You don't have to delve super deeply into the minutia of the characters' personal experiences with disability in your fanworks or anything, or even ever explicitly bring it up at all if that's not a detail you want to focus on. Like, if I'm writing Nico, I don't have to mention he's a brunet every time I write him. That's just a known fact about his character. It's the same with their disabilities. It will affect them and how they navigate things, but in the same way any other trait does, which will crop up when you write those characters if you have spent any amount of time analyzing a character to figure out how to write them. But it's important to be aware of the fact that these characters are disabled and what their stories are about to better understand the characters themselves, which will service you in fanworks you want to create even if it's not about that topic specifically. In PJO specifically, it also helps you understand the mechanics of how the world works within the metaphor it was built around, so that you can make sense of the logic being used and expand upon it further with more consistency if that's your jam! It just adds another tool at your disposal. But ultimately you can wield that however you'd like.

[chocolatepot]

Saw a post about how you need to read original fiction and not just fic to write books, and I had some thoughts but they're not so much a direct response so I figured I'd make my own post ...

You do need to be conversant with original fiction to write it, but also - that doesn't mean that your fiction diet as you write needs to be primarily original fiction. If you want to write a book, you've probably spent a lot of your life reading original fiction even if you're in fandom now. That all counts. (Assuming what you want to write bears at least some resemblance to what you've read.)

Fanfiction really doesn't teach you to develop characters and settings on your own, it's true. It particularly lets you be lazy about not describing them physically, and not having to do any work for walk-on characters who exist in canon. You also can get used to writing romantic short stories that would be completely unmarketable if they were not fic.

However, fanfiction still can teach you a lot of transferable skills, if you want it to. You can write novels to stretch your ability to plot a longform story and follow through on 60k+ words. You can consciously work to improve your prose, your pacing, and/or your physical/emotional descriptions no matter what your subject matter. You can write a story that focuses on how a character changes and develops, and you can focus on a minor character from canon and do the work to make them three-dimensional. If you're into AUs, you can also work on worldbuilding or writing a believable historical setting. Literally the only thing you don't really have the opportunity to do is create your own main characters from scratch.

And I feel like that's actually the easiest part of writing. Sitting down and writing a story that lasts over 80k words or so, is compelling all the way through, has defined character arcs, etc. is way harder than making up the initial concept. If you're in fandom, you clearly Do Stories whether they're on the paper or onscreen, and so you probably have a lot of character types in your head already to start messing around with.

There was also a point in the post about how if you don't read you're not going to understand where your story fits genre-wise, and you're probably going to think that it's new and genre-breaking when it isn't - and that leads me to two thoughts. One is that not feeling able to place your own story if it crosses genres might be more common to writers than you think: it just came up in a Bestseller Experiment podcast ep I listened to the other day as a normal thing due to the writer being too close to their story. I have good comps for my novel (there's a T. Kingfisher that is incredibly similar in concept and key characters) and I still feel like "oooh ... is it more fantasy or more historical ..."

The other is that fic makes it so you're more likely to actually write something that genuinely doesn't quite fit in the boxes. That's something I've been thinking about since Winter's Orbit. That book, if you don't know, was originally written on fail_fandomanon's spinoff writing meme and posted on AO3. It was always original fiction, but it has a fic-like sensibility: there's a strong political intrigue plot alongside a strong queer romance plot between a playboy who's not really a playboy and a smol bean with trauma. If you read the GoodReads reviews from when it was published, you can find many sf fans complaining that the romance takes up too much space and romance fans complaining that there's too much plot outside the romance. I think now with the rise of "romantasy" there's more tolerance for that, but that label feels like it's getting less useful as it broadens to mean "fiction written by a woman that includes a romance" (and it feels very m/f to me but we don't have time for that now). Because so much of ficwriting fandom focuses on stories that heavily foreground romance but don't hit the traditional romance beats and also writing the characters figuring out who's committing industrial espionage or whatever. In a romance novel, the romance is absolutely the A plot and the whatever is very much B plot (if not somehow C). In sf/f and thrillers, the whatever is the A plot and the romance is around the edges. Fic teaches us to do them both equally, because the point of the story is to see the characters getting together (often not like canon, when it comes to m/m and f/f) while having a plot to deal with (like they have in canon). Also, in a lot of cases of genre-mixing, determining which one it "counts as" is really determining which one it will sell better under, and that's not something a person outside of the industry can generally tell, regardless of what they're reading on their own.

[crazylittlejester]

honestly, the fandom dismisses wars trauma a little too much. Have you noticed it’s always never brought up in his character studies? And when it is, it’s totally brushed off him and cia had a WEIRDDD age gap. It’s also weird hyrule warriors never acknowledges this. I honestly don’t think it’s gonna be recognized in LU but idk. It’s just weird how quickly the fandom brushed over all that. What’s your opinion? Cuz you have cool opinions lol

Disclaimer: Everything you’re about to read is my opinion and my interpretation of a game. I’m not talking about headcanons (unless otherwise specified), I’m just talking about my experience with the game and everything else. All of this is from MY perspective interacting with the canon material from both Hyrule Warriors and Linked Universe. Also! I am dyslexic, my bad for oddly autocorrected words or weird spelling mistakes

A huge reason I started yapping so much on this blog was because I saw a lot of people either actively disliking Wars, making fucking INSANE comments about his body, overly sexualizing him, or just straight up dismissing him all together and it helped me get over my posting anxiety because it genuinely made me so upset. He’s been my favorite character since only a few posts into LU (i originally liked Twilight better based sheerly on design but it took like only a few posts before that changed), and I love HW Link in general, and I thought it was actually crazy that more people didn’t like him. I’ve written several of my own characters studies on him, some of which I’ve posted, others lay trapped in my old laptop in the form of a full on analysis paper, never to see the light of day

You can send a full grown man to war and he will come back with trauma, imagine what happens when you grab some poor teenager and tell him everything relies on him. Literally forget Cia for a minute, Link as a teenager was taken and shoved into a full on war where his men turned on him and in order to survive, he had to kill. Monsters and hylians alike, it was him or them, and he’s the one who made it out. Not to mention he was constantly running all over the battle field trying to prevent the hylian captains from being defeated, and he most certainly lost many people he cared about just because he couldn’t get there in time. He had to carry around the guilt that this war was started because some sorceress was obsessed with him ON TOP of that

This was said earlier by an anon on a post I reblogged, and I’ve been saying it myself for months but I will say it again: If Warriors had been a girl and been obsessed over that same way, I fucking GUARANTEE you people would be taking it more seriously

I literally just typed in the character name and the game she’s from and that is what google had to say about her. If an older man was described as ‘harboring serious affections’ and having a ‘desire to claim’ a teenage girl I literally don’t think it would’ve been glossed over or ignored like it is

I don’t think nintendo was ever gonna elaborate or really recognize it in the game, they never go super in depth on anything in Zelda games from my experience, and I doubt Jojo will really get into it in LU mainly just because she has so much going on with eight other dudes and potentially two more (based on the header on the linked universe blog)

I saw a lot of characterizations of Warriors and opinions of him that made me so confused and also a bit mad, such that he is a womanizer or a stupid twink (of which he is neither), and that’s a huge reason I started writing fanfiction for this fandom. Firstly to just create more content for my favorite character because I rarely saw any that focused on him, and secondly because I didn’t like some (NOT ALL) of how I was seeing him characterized. (i cannot emphasize enough: NOT ALL people in the fandom characterized him this way, I saw plenty of amazing and beautiful characterizations of Warriors)

I do not think he is a womanizer at all, in fact I fully believe his flirtatious behavior is a defense mechanism. I think his ‘woman problems’ are the fact that he’s afraid of women (especially older women) he doesn’t know or trust, but also that’s just my opinion. And I am genuinely a bit worried that now that people have stopped talking about how they noticed he seemed off a few updates ago and now that they’re saying he’s back to normal that people are going to start reducing him to a stupid dramatic twink again, as if Warriors was not the one who came up with the initial plan to fight Dink and was not the first one to fight him. As if this is not a man who lead a god damn army. As if everything he’s done and everything he is no longer matters because he’s ‘pretty’

anyways I have a lot of thoughts about him in general and im just glad the fandom has been treating him better as of late, but i am a bit worried it’s just gonna go back to how it was

thanks for the ask!! sorry i got a bit carried away 😭

[writingquestionsanswered]

I was wondering, why does it feel like I can't write good original fiction or original characters, but my fanfiction is great (imo anyway, which I never feel for my original fiction)? In some senses, I get it, like I feel I really know the characters in other people's fiction after seeing them through their story, but like....ugh. It's really frustrating. Do I just not understand how to develop an original character? Am I overcomplicating things?

Fan-Fiction: Struggling with Writing Original Fiction Characters

All of the above... ♥

So, yes, you're probably overcomplicating things a bit, but also it actually is hard for a lot of writers to make the switch between writing canon characters and developing their own original characters. In other words, what you're experiencing isn't unusual and it's absolutely surmountable. :)

One of the things I love about fan-fiction for newer writers is it allows you to focus fully on the mechanics of writing without having to divert effort toward things like world building and character development. The problem with that, though, is once you make the switch from writing fan-fiction to writing original fiction, you might find that your world building and character development skills are lagging behind. It sounds like this might be the situation in your case.

This is why I think it's a great idea to experiment with writing OCs, or in other words "original characters" as part of your fan-fiction. You don't even have to post these stories if you don't want to--write them for yourself, for practice. But, creating an original character to join your favorite canon characters is a great way to get practice in character creation and development while still within the comfy zone of your fan-fiction. Just by virtue of having to exist in the canon world, you have a little bit of a template to follow as far as who this character can be and what they can do. But, you have some freedom with things like back story, internal conflict, and character arc. Writing OCs in fan-fiction helps you hone those skills and learn to create characters you love without tossing yourself into the deep end.

And, if you need practice with setting development/world building, you can do that within fan-fiction, too. Try moving the canon characters into a new time, world, or situation. For example, what if the characters of The Hunger Games were survivors of a modern day shipwreck in the South Pacific? Or, what if the characters from ACOTAR lived in a Dune-like world, with different planets and starships and great houses? In this scenario, you can focus more on world building and plot without having to worry as much about character design and development.

So... no matter what, the reality is you'll just have to be patient with yourself. Whether you choose to hone your character development skills through writing fan-fiction OCs, or whether you keep at it with original fiction characters, it's going to take some time for you to develop those skills. It will be frustrating because you'll know that these characters aren't hitting the mark you want them to, but that's also good, because knowing they're falling short means you can try to figure out why and what you can do to fix it.

And, if you need additional help, you can always visit my Character Development master list of posts.

I hope that helps!

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I’ve been writing seriously for over 30 years and love to share what I’ve learned. Have a writing question? My inbox is always open!

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[iwriteasfotini]

My favorite thing about Ao3 is the ability to go back and edit my published works. I don't think everyone does this, but I do! And it is tedious and time consuming (mostly because I keep a master google doc of each work so BOTH have to be edited), but the part of me which recognizes I can always do better gets excited every time I make an "improvement" edit. Even if it is just fixing a typo.

Maybe some people feel embarrassed thinking about editing their work. They think doing so waves a huge red flag to the wider community that there was something wrong with their writing to begin with. There was not! We are all human and make mistakes. Small mistakes like typos, or bigger mistakes like poor characterization or a line of dialogue which doesn't sit right or too much foreign language text for other readers to find the work readable. ;-)

And of course you should own your story. Just because one person says they don't like something you did or they didn't understand a passage doesn't necessarily mean you should rush out to change it! It is your story and you get to write it exactly as you want to. But I am writing fanfiction because I am working super hard to get better at writing in general. So that feedback, while it is always taken with a grain of salt, is meaningful. It is so hard to judge and analyze your own work. Call it author bias. And being able to process feedback is part of being a writer. By posting to a public platform you are letting the world know you are ok with some level of feedback. Otherwise you could have kept that story for yourself on your google drive, or your word document, or your spiral notebook.

It takes bravery to share. As does admitting something could have been written better or differently. The great thing is, there is no reason to be embarrassed for making changes or corrections to your writing. First, hardly anyone has read it. Sorry but this is just the cold hard truth. Second, with every change or correction you make, you get a tiny bit better as a writer. And to become a master at something it takes millions of repetitions through which you move from being ok at something to being fantastic at it. This applies to every skill you are seeking to improve on. Writing words is fabulous practice for becoming a better writer. You literally cannot get better without doing so. Editing and changing and improving something you have already written is the next step.

So know that if you are a perfectionist (like me) who gets an unwanted surge of adrenaline when I realize I have made a mistake in my work you are not alone! I take a deep breath. Remind myself this is a good thing. And work to improve.

NO ONE JUDGES YOU HARSHER THAN YOURSELF.

Be gentle with yourself. Give yourself grace. Laugh it off. Enjoy the feeling of getting better.

There is also a point at which you should move forward with your works instead of spending your precious time constantly going back and making changes on old ones. And that choice is a personal one.

But as a novice I say a huge "hell yes!" for being able to edit my published works.

PS Trust your gut when it comes to beta readers. Not every beta reader is created equal. And as novices giving each other advice, overwhelming harsh criticism which endures and feels personal indicates you and your beta reader might not jive professionally. I have not had this experience. My beta reader(s) have been fantastic! But I know it happens. Don't let it discourage you if you are on the receiving end... don't give up on writing. Find yourself a new beta reader!

[starokell]

Headcanon about mage Viktor and his 'origins'

I didn't really understand how viktor could be the mage from Jayces past and I didn't really get any real or satisfying answers to that from anywhere, so I thought I would spin my own little theory (or at this point you could say fanfiction) as to how this all happened, how viktor became the mage in Jayces story, what he meant by "only you could ever show me this" etcetc. I assume/determine/establish many things for my thoughtprocess to be true, I do that for my story to work and for my mind to be at peace and that it can grip an answer and not go insane about pixels because apparently i cannot act normal around media i like.

First of all, I'm gonna assume that some things are just true/meant to happen/fated in ALL timelines. For example that viktor is going to ALWAYS come into touch with the arcane and even if his path can be different each timeline his end goal is always the same - glorious evolution. I also assume that if you time travel/jump timelines and act as a seperate individual in this timeline (not like f.e. ekko replacing himself in his timeline) you are not allowed/cannot intervene too much with it because then the time/space continuum collapses or the arcane throws a fit idk.

So let's imagine a timeline, I'm gonna call it "the first timeline" (even though it doesn't really make sense in thinking of first/next/last timeline because all of the timelines are parallels, but bear with me), a timeline where viktor comes into touch with the arcane a different way, because here he doesn't even know Jayce exists (the mage which gave him the rune doesn't exist yet/in this "first" timeline). He merges with the arcane, thinks he's doing everyone a favour by initiating the glorious evolution, finishes it, creates a perfect world and everyone is happy. Except it isn't a perfect world and nobody is happy, in fact everybody is practically dead, without joy, love and choice, and Piltover/maybe even the whole world crumbles into arcane waste because of Viktors actions. He doesn't understand what went wrong, he didn't want this, he wanted everyone to have equal opportunities and end all suffering and be without sickness, be perfect. There had to be some kind of mistake here. So, with the help of the arcane, he travels to another timeline, and tries to change a few things in his story. With hindsight, this time he could steer his young self in the right direction and this time, surely it will work.

But it doesn't. So he tries again. And again. And again and again and again.

But everytime, in every timeline, with every change he made, with every different decision he made, with every different way he found the arcane, it always ended the same - the glorious evolution was a mistake. More than that, an error in his thinking of his younger self, which is the catalyst of the apocalypse.

Having seen that outcome time and time again, this "first" mage Viktor realizes that this cost for perfection is flawed, and that imperfections do have beauty in itself. So, he goes into another timeline, this time adamant to stop himself. But he fails. He just isn't able to stop his younger self, he is not able to prevent that he is coming into contact with the arcane, he is not able to change his worldview, he is not able to change anything about his goal or conviction. So, maybe someone else could? Trying and trying to introduce character after character into his life, trying to let others influence him, to no avail. How could he, anyway? How could anyone change this worldview of him? He, "first" mage Viktor needed countless of timelines and experiences to learn, that he doesn't have to be ashamed of his flaws, that he doesn't have to erase them and that imperfections are what makes them all alive. How could anyone show him, in his limited lifespan, everything he learned in a multiple factor of this time?

And this is where Jayce comes in.

Maybe, in one of the infinite timelines, the "first" mage Viktor was just as lost as Jayce on that fateful day. Maybe he was about to give up his endeavor of stopping himself becoming the villain in each and every timeline. Maybe, he began to accept that, just as he is fated to meet the arcane, he is also fated to doom the world. Then, he sees a little boy, crying over his dying mother in a snow storm. Maybe he thinks, even if i will destroy the world later, maybe I could do a good deed now, and saves the little boys mother. He gifts the little boy a rune, and goes on with his day.

And BOOM, Jayce just got introduced to the game. This little act changed the course of history entirely, suddenly there was a brilliant mind in the middle of Piltover, suddenly Jayce and Viktor meet, and suddenly, Hextech is invented. Viktor gets a partner he can trust, that he loves and admires and he gets this love and admiration and trust back. They understand each other in ways nobody else could, they share moments of intimacy and ways of love no romantic love could ever reach(thats also a reason i don't really ship Viktor and Jayce, deep love doesn't always have to be romantic in nature and there are so many other types of love that are no lesser and can be more intense(even though my gay heart yearned for them to kiss at that last scene ngl)(well this and maybe im also trying to convince myself that it doesn't always has to be romantic love that saves the world and is the most impactful and beautiful and fated etcetc(can you tell I'm aro)))

And suddenly, new hope flashes in mage Viktors eyes. It's him. He is the one. The only one. The one he was meant to meet, meant to choose so Jayce could choose Viktor again. And even though this timeline also ended in the wasteland mage Viktor saw so often already, now he knows, oh he feels that he will be the one to change it all.

So this little clip where we see mage Viktor giving little Jayce all these different runes? This is actually the end of mage Viktors journey, the last couple steps to finally find true peace, not in the form all of the Viktors always thought they will(glorious evolution), but in the form of accepting himself. And nobody else, not himself or Singed or Silco or Sky or Mel or Heimerdinger, only Jayce, only him, only you, could show me this.

(Finally, one of the runes caused Jayce to travel to another timeline where the apocalypse already has happened, and Ekko in one where he invents his timetravel device. Finally, mage Viktor can talk to Jayce and Jayce promises Viktor to stop him, forgiving him and loving him regardless. And Ekko, being the last push Jayce and Viktor needed to, being the catalyst of this even being able to happen)

I'm only writing/thinking about/posting this to satisfy my urge to understand exactly what was going on and why characters acted that way or why situations happened, to try to fill plotholes that nag my brain in a series that i absolutely love and gives me so many emotions(mostly pain, oh the misery). Idk and idc if any of that makes actual sense or fits in the lore of LoL or even the show itself, if it retconns some things or if the show itself retconns some of this theory/story, it makes sense in my head and I kinda like it, and thats what brings me peace idk how my brain works ok. (Plus it would be so cool to see some of the alternate timelines where for example viktor works with Silco and Jinx instead or smth)

[vindicated-truth]

I've been in online fandom spaces ever since I was 11 or 12—which is really not an age anyone should be left alone in the internet with. In our generation's defense though—as well as our parents' defense—we were the first generation to have online experiences in all its forms, including fandom, and no one really knew how to navigate the new virtual space, least of all our own technologically-challenged parents.

I'm now 35 years old, so it's been about two and a half decades of being a fangirl in varying degrees of fandom participation, but throughout the different fandoms I've been in, a lot of it has been spent both reading and writing fanfiction.

And what I've come to realize now, as I'm in the relatively older range of fandom, is that even the mindset changes.

I can tell now if a story, for example, is written by someone younger. And it's not even about the technical things like grammar or spelling, because a lot of writers have excellent technical writing regardless of age.

But it's in the inherent themes in the stories being written, the underlying philosophies and values that stand out the most to me. Even the perception of life, reality, dreams, and fears, it's all so fascinatingly—different now, when you're older.

And it's fascinating reading these stories written by younger fans, because it's also a stark reminder of how you were, too.

I'd think—oh, I used to be like that, too. I don't, anymore, but it's fascinating that I remember I once was.

It's not even a judgment of whether it's a good thing or not—it's just a statement of fact that even your own perceptions change as you grow older. For better or for worse.

I used to be a lot more idealistic, for one. And it makes me smile sometimes reading stories or statements by younger fans, because sometimes I think—I hope you never lose that. That spark and enthusiasm for life—hold on to that, and cherish that, because it can so easily be snuffed out despite your best efforts to protect it.

At the same time, I'm a lot kinder now. Sometimes I'd read stories and statements and see how angry and unforgiving and bitter some fans are and that would also make me think—someday, you'll understand. Someday, you'll realize that people are inherently flawed and more broken than they deserve to be, and it matters that you extend kindness to them, too.

Because you'll realize that you are just as flawed and broken as them, and you need them to be kind to you, too.

They aren't perfect, but then again—neither are you.

Sometimes I think of fandom history, and how it all started with older women in their 40s, 50s, and 60s back in the days of Star Trek: The Original Series, and how it's these older women who paved the way for younger girls all over the world and all subsequent generations to discover a community and passion that will keep that fire of life in you burning.

And I wonder how these older women think of all succeeding younger women, how the perspectives and values change over time.

I wonder how I'll be, too—ten, twenty, thirty years from now.

And it's why I sometimes find it amusing when younger fans say that older women are "too old" to still be in fandom space, when it's older women who created this space in the first place.

I wonder if these younger fans who are now in fandom realize that you never really grow out of fandom. You just grow in it.

And that's something noteworthy too. Because if anything, fandom is a written history of you, too. How you grow, how you change.

And most importantly, how you learn.

All this to say: do not shame anyone for being in fandom, regardless of age.

This is your story, too.

[nanawaffles]

This ask is your chance to talk or rant about anything at all for as long as you want. Need inspiration? What is the nicest thing that happened to you today? What is your opinion about whatever media you've watched or read recently? Talk about your favorite character. Finish this sentence 'In a hole in the ground there lived...'

Hi darling! Thank you for sending this I've been saving it for a rainy day. And it's cloudy with a chance of salt today. I'm a little upset, fandom centric yet again ( because it's usually fandom that gets my goat ) based on shipping and the concept of new fans vs old fans. Is this about Tolkien and rings of power, yes... yes it is.

So in a hole in the ground there lived a 6 year old girl who fell in love with Lord of the Rings, and spent every December reading it for the next ten years. Then at 16 she found out this fantasy series had more content, she devoured it, then at 18 found another book in a secondhand shop and spent way too much money to get it because it was a book from this series and world she ( at that time ) could not find anywhere else. Bit by bit her library grew, at 21 she found the second part of that extra material, and added it to her collection. Now at 29, with two kids, a home based job, and a love of writing, this woman has a shelf dedicated to that piece of fiction, and is passing that love on to her niece, nephew, and children.

Now, as a result I've seen the fandom develop. At 6 I was equal parts enthralled and upset by the Peter Jackson trilogy because there were parts i wish he hadn't changed. Faramir being tempted, Samwise being tempted, the lack of Tom Bombadil and Glorfindel, the changes of Aragorns personality, the seriousness of elves, the omission of the entirety of the Scouring of the Shire. I grew to eventually see these things as different, the books were the books, the movies the movies, similar on many levels but different at certain core things that even now I gotta sigh and go "that isn't right". The Hobbit came out, even more changes occurred. Thranduil was painted with a brush so darkened that many of the fans hated him, Kili fell in love with an elf and instead of dying to defend Thorin he died defending her, Azog in his entirety-- but by now I'd learned that they are separate entities. No adaptation will ever measure up. There will always be creative liberties, there will always be bias and change, and there will always be fans that will tear it apart because they can't handle this reality. Ultimately all adaptations are a form of fanfiction. Is it ideal? No. It just is.

Now we get to the source of my contention. With every adaptation and form of media created off of something, there will inevitably be new fans. These fans do not have the same base, they don't know about obscure lore, they base their experience off the singular media that brought them in. This means their opinions will be very different. Their ships will be different, their canon will be different. And there's two ways to deal with this, and unfortunately I have seen both in the last few months. We either embrace them and attempt to bring them more into the world so they can share what we've been sharing for decades---or we are rude, obnoxious, harassing, attacking and all around unwelcoming, painting ourselves and our fellow fans as if we are these "canon nazis" who cannot bear to see another form of the story we love. How hypocritical we seem. Did we not accept the changes of Peter Jackson's versions? Did we not and do not still tout them as exemplary forms of media? Loyal to the book, right? Jackson missed crucial bits of Tolkiens themes, his own biases showing through. I could give lists with receipts on this if anyone is interested because as a die hard fan I watched the BTS interviews, and realized the reasons my favorite things were omitted.

So now we have Rings of Power, which lacks on finer details, and makes certain decisions which are questionable but it hits on key things. Is it loyal in a literal sense? No. But it's loyal in spirit in many ways. Elrond and Sauron are perfectly done, Celebrimbor is deep and compelling, and no younger casting could have done him with such perfect complexity. We have built so much of this fandom on scraps, sometimes I've realized there's stuff we see as canon that actually isn't because one beautiful thing about this world is how in many ways we have the ability to build it. There is canon, typically that was originally published in the appendices and then the Silmarillion, but there's so much conflicting "canon" that it's not completely wrong for Rings of Power to have made the decisions they did. So Gandalf is hanging with proto hobbits, and Tom Bombadil is there. Show me where it says that cannot happen. Is it fanfic? Yes in a way, but given Amazon has very few rights ( don't get me started on this I'm not happy about it ) it's not surprising.

But Tolkien Fandom... what -- and I mean this most sincerely -- the ever loving fuck.

For the older fans, you're letting the fandom down. Attacking those who were not interested in the movies or books but this is their gateway. I'll repeat that you're insulting and unwelcoming, and giving us who want new blood a horrific name. You've scared so many people do you realize that? So many who want to get into this world but are too afraid of you. Hate Rings of Power if you wish, but do not forget there's a person on the other side of those screens. Artists, writers-- you complain about lack of content and yet kill off anyone else who might be sparked in inspiration because they're new! You should embrace and encourage them to get as deeply into this world as you are not bash them because of what they don't know. Stay humble. Remember that once upon a time you didn't know a Finwe from a Finarfin, elves seemed eternally ethereal and not the absolute dumpster fires that they are. Remember the days, for those who began with the movies, that you thought Arwen saved Frodo not Glorfindel, an elf who you didn't even know his name. Imagine if there had been a hoard of angry fans ready to roast you on a spit because you dared to ship Legolas and Gimli ( for those of you who do ). So, respectfully, take a seat and think about it.

Now to you newbies I have this to say. You're welcome to be here, please don't get discouraged. However, keep humble yourselves, remember that there's a lot of canon you're ignorant of, canon that is precious to us OG fans. Canon like Celebrian and Celeborn, aaand yes I'm looking at you Elrondiel shippers. Ship what you want, but quit bashing those characters. Elrond is not some creep just because he loves Celebrian, he did not watch Celebrian grow up, he met her after she was well over a thousand years old. He loved her so deeply, keeping it to himself for a thousand years until the war was over, and her capture and eventual sailing was big to his character. He did not love Galadriel in that way, no matter what you ship, and Celebrian was not some kind of replacement.

Celeborn is not boring, he's a Sinda with a temper and a hatred of dwarves who loves his wife, is very giving, and is essential to supporting Galadriel to do what she does. Do not mistake PJ's sloooow talking "where is Gandalf for I much desire to speak with him" Celeborn for Celeborn. He married an elf who though welcome in the kingdom of Doriath was involved in the Kinslaying at Alqualondë. If anything she would have been a slightly forbidden character, who lied by the way to Melian regarding her involvement for years. He married in spite of that, and they built and built and survived and fought together.

Now I will say this version of Galadriel does bring up some questions mainly because they actually nerfed her true power. This elf is the most powerful elf to ever exist, save Fëanor himself. Galadriel is not a sword wielding badass in the second age because she learned at the hand of Melian the Maia, aka she was literally the apprentice to a demigod. The complaints you see about her and our view is because the eldritch horror witch who rules a forest and can literally speak in your mind and unsettle you with how much she knows, got demoted to a commander with a sword who cannot even perceive Sauron himself and leads him straight to Celebrimbor. This Galadriel perhaps would be true to the first age, haughty and arrogant and flipping the Vala off because she doesn't wish to be subject to anyone. The second age however... wellll... no. Sorry. No. Now I suspend my disbelief, and I let myself enjoy the show regardless, but do not think for one second that that's Galadriel. She isn't. Hate that as you will.

Moving on.

Celebrian is not useless but rather essential to the main plot in ways you do not yet understand. Without Celebrian, it's very possible that certain aspects of Rivendell would not be there. Additionally, there would be no Arwen who gives hope to Aragorn, no Elladan and Elrohir who although omitted from film play a major role in the Return of the King. Just because a character is supportive to other characters does not mean she's useless. She is the Lady of Imladris, her capture marked a beginning of Saurons return. Her sailing was tragic, but indicative of a future for Elrond and a reason for him to get through it all. Do not throw out a loveliness that even the actors of Rings of Power acknowledge for your presuppositions on characters you do not understand.

Now I shall quickly address Elrond x Galadriel and why there's so much pushback. Apart from aforementioned stuff it mainly exists in that these two characters have such glorious arcs on their own with their ships that to cut those arcs out seems as if we're gutting the characters for the future. There is now no Lorien, no Celebrian, no Celeborn. Elrond who is millennia younger than Galadriel ( for all you folks who want to bash him for a "canon creep factor" please remember she was hundreds of years old before he was born and according to show canon found him at sirion as a child ) who in canon has a kind of relationship that one would see among colleagues. He respects her, but that's as far as it goes. He marries her daughter which then would infer a mother/son relationship, not one of "he can't get Galadriel so he settles for her kid". Like please... no. So ship what you want but that's what I see in terms of us. The kiss was what pushed y'all over the edge on that score, which tbh is a shame. All that work Rob Aramayo put in, and that's what you got out. Even he said it was platonic and to distract. I'll digress though, I know you don't like hearing that.

And OG fans, quit attacking them. You're not helping us, you're just making things worse.

With that... I'll end this. Thank you for reading.

[olderthannetfic]

TL;DR: multiple people can arrive at the same fanfic idea/premise in different ways, but also, getting inspired by a different fanfic is not stealing, please don't gatekeep!

I joined a new fandom (it's Resident Evil (RE), which I'm mostly mentioning for that one 'nosy' anon because hell yeah I am super nosy as well, so here you go, dropping some names!), and I quickly stumbled upon one fandom-specific plot trope that I thought was both pretty neat but also super obvious (Infected!Character fic, which, in a world with zombies and viruses that cause zombies is a very logical trope).

Anyway, there was not quite as much body horror as I thought there would be, although I'm still looking, but that's not why I'm writing to you, that's just the (un)necessary background.

There was this one fic that I opened, which in its Author's Note clearly stated that the author set this fanfiction in another author's AU, because they loved the world created by this first author. The first fanfiction author basically came up with their own Infected!Character design and backstory (including fanart), and the second fanfiction author liked it so much they were now writing this fic based on/in that AU. Obviously not quoting the AN directly, but this second author was very complimentary and explicitly mentioned where they got the idea from, gushing about the first author.

In the AN for chapter two, the second author stated that they weren't aware that that first fanfiction author didn't allow others to write about the Infected!Character AU they'd made, that that first author in fact only allowed a very limited number of people they publicly approved of to write about their AU, and nobody else was allowed to touch the Infected!Character AU. This second author was now apologising in the AN for not knowing this, plus mentioning that they changed chapter one to switch up the backstory & design to not be too close to that of the first fanficton author's AU.

That made me sad, honestly. I've seen this attitude a couple of times, where fanfiction authors are super protective of their ideas that they won't allow any other fanfiction author to write about them, and it's always struck me as a little bit hypocritical, given the whole deal of fanfiction. Especially when the original/first fanfiction author is credited and the inspired work is clearly done because the second author loved the first fanfiction so much. If it's a highly developed/specific and original AU (so not just any common trope), and you don't even mention the fanfic you were inspired by, then I find that rude, but just flat out not allowing people to even touch 'your' thing? C'mon!

This partially ties into my other gripe about a specific type of comments I occasionally get, which are along the lines of 'huh interesting idea where did you get it? bc/btw there is this other fic with the same idea (posted before you)'; idk if I got the tone right, but they never seem to be actually genuinely asking how I got the idea (and I always delight in telling them, not sarcastically, I genuinely love talking about this stuff, bc I get inspired by the most random things and I love love writing 'original'/new things!! I love tropes as much as anybody, I read a shitton of them, but i when I write I love coming up with new shit/plot! it's so fun!!). They just vanish after my explanation, even when I try to invite further conversation. It always feels to me like they're 'checking' that I didn't steal the idea, and it feels a bit lousy.

I mean in (larger) fandoms, it is not surprising at all that two or three or even more people arrive at the same idea, maybe even inspired by the same thing, same reading of canon, or not, varied experiences--and just because the works are similar doesn't mean that they were inspired by one another, but if they are, that's not a sin! I just want people to not take everything in bad faith, and also, to not 'disallow' others from getting inspired, especially when they do it in a very polite manner!

It's because of comments like these that I sometimes, very privately, worry that before I'll manage to post the long fic I spent months writing--because I'm one of those who wants the thing finished before I start posting--somebody else will have a similar idea, post their thing first, and then I'll look like I'm lying about not reading/stealing their idea, or just jumping on the bandwagon, which again, it's not a bad thing, actually.

And it shouldn't be like that! I shouldn't worry, and people should also be more willing to accept that authors can arrive at the same idea at (roughly) the same time & accept that explanation without side-eyeing the author, and that if an author is inspired by a different fanfic, that's not a sin either (in fact, for me it would be an honour).

None of this is new either, but that RE stuff reminded me of it again.

Oh man, this is way longer than I thought it would be. Apologies. I'm going to add a TLDR at the start.

Anyway, I'm going to finish writing an Infected!Catboy!Leon fic now and be very unsurprised if I find out that somebody else has had the same idea long before me (aside from one or two reader fic inserts with that topic that I stumbled upon on tumblr, bc that's just not my thing at all (reader insert, I mean)).

--

In college, friends of mine had a falling out over one of them "stealing" the other's fic idea.

Space pirates.

Not specific space pirates. Not a way of integrating the concept that was fandom-specific. No, just the general idea of space pirates in the same fandom.

Never have I facepalmed so hard.

[ddejavvu]

Mei do you ever have any moments where you doubt your writing abilities or compare your skills to another writer, if so what do you do?

Yes, and it can feel crushing until you remember that writing is not a competition. Art is art and all art has the potential to be enjoyed, regardless of whether someone else is ‘better’ than your thing. Some of my favorite fanfictions are eloquent beyond belief and some of my favorite fanfictions are short and sweet and some of my favorite fanfictions are simple in language and feel more tactical than flowery. If it brings you joy to write it, someone will find joy in reading it. Art must be created and enjoyed for art’s sake, not because it’s a contest with a winner.

Of course, because knowing and truly believing that is easier said than done, here are some things that help me relieve that persistent nagging that my writing isn’t good enough:

- Read your best work and know that it is yours even if some of your others aren’t as eloquent or structured or ‘perfect’ as that one. That piece of writing, even if you see it as an ‘outlier’ of sorts, is still YOUR writing that YOU wrote.

- Read other people’s writing and enjoy it. Don’t read it and say, “This is so much better than mine.”, read it and say “I really love the way that the author does this.”, and then incorporate those components into your own writing. Don’t plagiarize, don’t use the same words in the same order as the author, but if they use more adjectives than you do, and you want to get into that practice, then do that in their honor. If they describe actions and facial expressions more than dialogue, then try that out and see how you adapt to it in your writing. Try out new writing styles or practices and just enjoy experimenting. I owe so much of my writing style to the authors I read and love: my writing is a tapestry of threads I’ve pulled from other artist’s weaves, and yours can be too, instead of something you hide in the dark because it’s not good enough as anyone else’s.

[negrutou]

I think I finally get the Mononoke: Noppera-bo arc. I think I got it. (I've watched this series like 6 times in English and 6 in Japanese,,,, could it be insanity? 😏)

No, I don't think the Mononoke is Kusuriuri in disguise, and no I don't think Kusuriuri loved Ocho. The Noppera-bo are faceless yokai who are known to steal faces and cause tricks. They also can be Tanuki or Kitsune in disguise (could that mean Kusuriuri can be a Noppera-bo? Maybe that's how he knew to dispel all those tricks). This Mononoke could just also happen to be another nameless Tanuki or Kitsune. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Regardless of all that, Ocho obviously killed every desire she had and thus those desires were her different faces, in which created the Noppera-bo that fed off the pain of her sacrifices. She wanted to be a good daughter for her mother so she killed her playful side, she wanted to be a good wife so she killed her disobedient side. She sacrificed herself. She sacrificed her many faces.

And we've all been there. We gave up so many pieces of ourselves and gave up energy to keep the status quo in some way, form, or shape (reason and truth!!!). And it's so easy to hide away from reality and picture the "what ifs" if we kept to our honest selves or jumped into our impulsive/intrusive thoughts. And Ocho had done the same thing.

She is literally feeding her own negative thoughts by picturing what would happen if she decided to kill them all. Or if she stayed in her prison some faceless man (the Noppera-bo) will come and save her and build her a palace and love her despite the flaws. Like literally, the scene where they get "married" and all the masks are soooo jealous?? Like c'mon... That's Tumblr girlie sleepytime scenarios 101.

The Noppera-bo fed into her delusions, for lack of a better word. For her trial was fake in my honest interpretation. The trial was a metaphor for her final face. If she killed her final self, the self she had now, the obedient, selfless, demure Ocho, she would lose her identity once and for all. Who would she be after? Her face would have been stolen, and the Noppera-bo would have succeeded in stealing her, keeping her trapped in the prison she thought a palace.

Not to mention, ALL of this is happening in her mind. She is technically still in reality, picking up the broken sake bottle. And in order for the Noppera-bo to lose, Kusuriuri must bring Ocho back to reality and force her to remember her self worth, to remember her main face. The Ocho Kusuriuri kills in the end is the one that keeps her trapped in her daydream, the one that wonders why the Noppera-bo loved her, the one that wonders what her life would be like rather than the one who goes and does it.

I also wanna say that the Noppera-bo, the faceless man that would do anything for Ocho, is Ocho. Ocho is the Mononoke. I mean obviously they state it in the episode, but people still think the faceless man and Ocho are two separate beings. I treat the Noppera-bo as her imagination. Like your brain will do some crazy things to protect itself from self destructing, and that basically is what the Noppera-bo was. I can say from personal experience I dived heavily into fanfiction and fantasy because I wanted to escape the horrible reality of being homeless, depressed, and suicidal.

It's so apparent in the voice lines too that Kusuriuri didn't think the Noppera-bo was helpful at all.

"Why did he save me?"

"Do you really think he saved you?"

Like just because the Noppera-bo was trying to make her happy (and just because I dove in fanfiction to vent out my frustrations) didn't mean she was saved (did not mean I had the maturity to face my demons).

I think in the end, Ocho has the guts to leave. The medicine vendor saves her from her destructive self and she goes to run away like she intended.

I hope to God this dissertation makes sense. My brain is everywhere while watching these episodes for the 7th time.

[tadpolesonalgae]

Sigh. I wish cbmthy reader learns to love herself. Even just a little. To take pride in her genius and her fragile heart, to see the beauty of living.

I really want her to make friends outside of the ic, because I don't think she has any in the ic. Maybe become friends with a priestess when she goes to the library, or a normal citizen in velaris.

I want her to understand that feeling of power when you get out of bed and go on a walk, bundled up with a coat and hot cocoa. Because you could have been in bed, wasting away. But you're doing something

I want her to move out and away from the ic, even if its just a place to live and she still sees them and such. To get a cat (because shes not the type of person who could handle a dog) with one eye or one leg, who's deemed "ugly" and "defective" by society, like how she sees herself.

I want her to learn that you can't be defective as long as you're living, that you're just different, and to learn that you can put broken things together to make something beautiful.

i hope she learns how to love herself. Coming from someone who has tried to take their life, on several occasions, and screamed out for help.

I want her to learn that when no one answers, you save yourself.

-☀

Honestly I don’t want to encourage you but when there was that Helion tangent I had fantasised about what if reader announced over a dinner she wanted to go to the day court to study 😔 (and maybe also if she did manage to get to Day Court and work with scholars, she’d get a chance to also gloat to Eris that she was working as a scholar despite being female)

‘I want her to understand that feeling of power when you get out of bed and go on a walk, bundled up with a coat and hot cocoa. Because you could have been in bed, wasting away. But you're doing something’

That’s so adorable, but also such a treasured experience that can take a while to appreciate

‘To get a cat (because shes not the type of person who could handle a dog) with one eye or one leg, who's deemed "ugly" and "defective" by society, like how she sees herself.’

Babes you don’t know how many times I’ve fantasised about giving reader a pet or two to look after. Like a parrot? Or a stray cat? Or like in ToG but with one of Eris’ hounds and she instantly clicks with it?

Unfortunately it just wouldn’t be practical for the storyline since having a pet generally requires a lot of attention and looking after and reader doesn’t have the time for that ☹️

‘i hope she learns how to love herself.’

I promise that she will, in her own way

I think reader’s issues lie in her mind rather than her body (she’s self conscious about her hands but I’d say that because she feels more that she’s unbearable on the inside so if she’s ‘unbearable’ on the outside too, she has nothing)

I don’t want to give too much weight to cbmthy because at the end of the day it’s a piece of fanfiction I’m tapping out on my keyboard with zero professional writing experience, but I hope some people can find comfort in it. I think it’s difficult to speak about certain things sometimes—whether that’s for reasons of discomfort, or simply lacking the language to go about starting and having a discussion—so creating a piece of fiction to touch on different themes can be a way of tentatively putting feelers out for other people’s experiences? And, maybe, hoping that some other people might be able to resonate with experiences that are brought up

I’ll admit here, hidden at the bottom of a fairly long reply, that it’s been a relief seeing people’s responses to particular elements of the story