#because it would have been a very suspicious request especially gin

[t4tadrienette]

You gotta love Vermouth and Bourbon's relationship, like, it's weird. They are like sure I'll do that for you, but at the same time, they would have no problem killing each other. I will help you disguise as this guy you hate, I will keep my promise to you to protect those two kids and won't even ask why, but the moment you will get on my last nerve you better pray I won't shoot you immediately

[luminnara]

Victor Zsasz x Reader NSFW | 18+

Fandom: Birds of Prey/DC

I don’t see nearly enough BOP!Zsasz appreciation here, so I’m determined to change that. Reader is fem, but if there’s interest I can definitely write stuff for male or nb! The reader also has a whole backstory because I’m way more into world and character building than I am reader inserts so this is practically a little OC fic lol

This is sort of set pre-Birds of Prey, don’t worry about it too much, it’s just fun

Warnings: Violence, Zsasz being Zsasz, reader is an assassin who unalives people, light smut

This is short because I’m testing the waters! If there’s interest, I’ll write a part 2!!

Requests are open!

When Roman announced that he was hiring a new girl, Victor was less than thrilled. He liked what they had going--Roman was the money and the brains, and Victor was the muscle, the devout follower, and the one who loved to spill blood. They didn’t need anybody else, especially not a new hitman, and especially not a girl.

You had grown up in Gotham City’s East End, a district that was infamous for harboring all sorts of crime. You knew every street, every dark alley, every burnt out shell of a once-great building. The East End was a far cry from Gotham’s nicer neighborhoods, with their shining skyscrapers and big fancy department stores, but what could you say? The East End was home. It was dark and gritty and dangerous, but you loved that about it. 

Besides, it’s not like you could really go anywhere else. 

You had developed quite a reputation for yourself over the past few years. Places like the East End have a tendency to breed criminals, and you were no exception--as soon as you left home, you followed right in your mother’s footsteps and became a gun for hire. Thanks to your family name, you had no trouble taking on the odd merc job here and there, working for mob bosses who didn’t mind the mess you tended to leave behind. Silent, sneaky kills weren’t really your thing, but you never really got into the whole...artistic thing that a lot of other killers did. You didn’t sit there and fuck around with the blood and guts, you just...weren’t very tidy. You were quick, but you weren’t clean. If somebody wanted their enemies taken out quietly, they knew not to even look in your direction, because you were not the girl for the job. 

If somebody wanted to make a statement, though...

You were more than happy to crush some skulls and splatter some blood across the sidewalk for the right price. 

Of course, so much killing got to be exhausting after a while, and even brutal assassins like yourself needed to relax every so often. So, that’s how you found yourself finishing up a job and heading back to your modest little apartment, hopping in the shower, and scrubbing all the blood and dirt off your skin as if you had just spent a long day at the office. It was all normal for you--the killing, the shady bosses, the weirdos you worked with--and you treated it the same way any of those prim and proper office people in Old Gotham treated their day jobs. It was a way to make ends meet, something to pay for groceries and take care of the bills...only, in your case, you were generally paid fully in cash, and sometimes that cash had some suspicious stains on it. 

But hey, work was work, right?

That night, you headed to a club you had yet to check out. Done up in a little black dress and wearing some very expensive pearls you had nabbed off of a target a few months back, you took a cab and found yourself entering The Black Mask.

It was a nice spot, the booths and bar all packed with socialites and crime lords. Waitresses and shot girls flitted around, there was a band playing on the stage, and the atmosphere seemed to be cheerful. Honestly, it wasn’t what you had expected, given what you’d heard about its owner.

Roman Sionis was a businessman, as he liked to call himself, who had been steadily growing his empire. He practically owned the entire East End now, and word on the street was he was looking to expand further into the rest of Gotham. You had never met the man, but you had enough mutual connections that Roman knew exactly who you were the moment he spotted you at the bar.

“Zsasz, go get her,” he said, gesturing towards you with a gloved hand.

Zsasz followed his gaze and tilted his head slightly. “You got it, boss.”

You were minding your own business, ordering yourself a gin and tonic and elbowing drunk men out of your way as you carved a little spot for yourself at the bar. They were rambunctious, leaning towards you with wide grins and beady eyes that told you they were hoping to get lucky tonight.

As you were getting ready to throw another elbow, the men suddenly scattered, vanishing into the crowd as if something had scared them off. The bartender set your drink down in front of you, and just as you raised the glass to your lips, the scent of musky cologne filled your nose and you looked up to see none other than the notorious Victor Zsasz standing before you.

“Boss wants to talk with you.” He said simply, his voice rough and hoarse.

But you were too busy taking in his facial features to really listen to his words. His short hair was the lightest blonde you had ever seen, almost snowy in color, a stark contrast to the black stubble that covered his jaw. He was wearing a silky dress shirt the color of red wine, or dark blood, the kind that was thick and coagulated and dripped off of knives so beautifully.

As he stared right back at you, you saw the scars that cut into his face, straight, meticulously carved lines that you were sure he had given himself. After all, just as you did, Victor Zsasz had a reputation, and while you had never met him, you had heard plenty about the sadistic assassin who kept tally marks of all of his victims.

Part of you wondered just how many he had.

You took a sip of your drink, eyes never leaving his. “I only just got here. I haven’t even paid for my drink.”

“On the house, courtesy of Mr. Sionis.” Zsasz said, regarding you with heavily lidded eyes as he looked down at you.

Just as you knew of him, he knew of you. Even though he was pretty much locked in place with Roman now, Zsasz heard plenty about everyone else in the East End. You practically ran in the same circles, and he had to admit, he was a tiny bit curious about the lady assassin everyone was raving about. He almost admired the messiness of your kills, but he also thought that you were sloppy and too quick, never taking the time to truly appreciate what you were doing.

Now, as he glanced down at the swell of your tits as they practically spilled out of your dress, he couldn’t decide if he wanted to kill you, or fuck you, or both.

“It’s rude to stare, Mr. Zsasz.” You teased as you caught him.

“It’s rude to keep the boss waiting.” He shot right back.

“Fine.” you sighed, pushing away from the bar. “Lead the way.”

He offered his hand and you took it, holding onto him gingerly. The crowd parted for Zsasz in a way that they never would for you, smoothly and easily, club patrons giving him polite, frightened nods as he pulled you past. His grip on your hand was tight and harsh, squeezing as if you might try to run, but in all honesty, you were marveling at how warm his skin was around yours. You didn’t hate the way he led you over to his employer, and you knew that he was being gentle, or at least his version of it. 

When he brought you before Roman Sionis, he immediately let go of you, moving to stand next to his boss. Roman himself was sitting in a booth, sinking into the lavish red velvet upholstery as he held a drink in his gloved hand. He regarded you with a calm smile, immediately gesturing for you to take a set across from him. 

So you did, and the rest was history.

Roman Sionis had heard of you, and when he realized that you lived in the East End, in his East End, he had to have you. He had to own you. So, he did what he always did with people, and he bought you. All you had to do was complete one little, simple job for him, and he would keep you around on a regular salary, giving you all the benefits of joining his tiny little family. You passed his test with flying colors, taking out your target faster than Roman could have hoped for, and the next thing you knew, you were spending your days lurking around Roman’s penthouse. 

You stayed quiet and obedient, not wanting to give Roman any reason to get rid of you. It was a good, steady gig, one you didn’t want to pass up, but you could tell that Zsasz wasn’t pleased. He scowled at you, always waiting for you to trip, always ready to watch you fall. You got the feeling that he viewed you as an intruder, someone who was messing up his life even though you gave him more than enough space. He would raise his lip in a sneer whenever you passed, showing off gold teeth in a maddeningly handsome way that always had you hoping and praying that he wouldn’t notice the way your cheeks sometimes flushed. He never seemed to care, as he never made any other moves. Maybe he was under strict orders not to fuck with--or just plain fuck---you, or maybe he legitimately didn’t want to. 

You didn’t know why you had started to care so much. 

You didn’t know about the way he watched your ass when you walked away from him, or the lewd way he sometimes palmed himself right out in the open. You never heard his pants and moans as he got off to the thought of you wrapped around him, and you never got to hear your name rolling off his tongue as he spilled into his hand, hips rocking of their own accord. 

Yeah, Zsasz was pretty much head over heels. He was fucked. 

He didn’t know why he liked you so much. There was just something about you, something about the way you walked and talked that always made his cock hard. He had reached the point where you would enter a room, and his pants would grow tight. Did you even know? Could you possibly fathom the torture you were putting him through every single day in Roman’s penthouse? Zsasz wanted to grab you and bend you over something, anything, hike that cute little skirt up and just go to town on your cunt. He dreamed about it at night, he wanted it, he craved the taste of your pussy...

But he couldn’t have it. 

Not yet. 

He would wait. He could be patient. After all, Roman came first. Roman always came first. Zsasz needed to focus on keeping his boss calm and happy, and he couldn’t afford to get distracted, no matter how much he wanted to press you up against the windows and fuck you so that the entire East End could see who you belonged to. 

No matter how badly he wanted it, Zsasz would wait. 

[stutterfly]

Swipe Right 02 | Crosstalk | JJK (M)

Rating: M (Explicit 18+)

Pairings: Jungkook x Reader, brot7 x friendship

Genre: E2L, fluff, angst [later on], humor, [eventual] smut, PersonalTrainer!Jungkook, fuckboy!Jungkook, Nerd!Jungkook, Nerd/IT!Reader

Word Count: 10.2K

Last time on SR01: Namjoon introduced you to his friends and you find yourself absorbed into their little group rather quickly. While on your way to a Halloween party hosted at Jimin’s beautiful condo, you admit to your best friend Jennie that you have a crush on the sweet, shy, nerdy Jungkook. This just happens to be the same night he reveals his true nature: fuckboy. Now that’s just embarrassing, isn’t it?

Tags: Fuckboy Jungkook, let’s play some drinking games, dirty jokes, innuendos, friendship feels, jealousy, flashing, sexual tension, dumbBitch reader is drinking her dumbBitchjuice tonight, Tae makes things weird for half a sec, hint of foot fetish?, flirting with Hobi, flirting with Jin, embarrassedJoon who is also a mediator part time, tsundere softYoongi, Jimin is a traitorous snake who lives for the drama, Jungkook is like the kid pulling the pigtails of the girl he likes, tiniest glimpse at softboyeJK underneath

CW:  excessive drinking,  filthy language

Series: Activate your SIMCard Fic: Swipe Right (2/?- Ongoing)

Do not repost. masterlist // previous chapter // next chapter

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

It's been months since the fiasco with Jungkook. You do your best to avoid any opportunity to hang with the group in a stationary setting when he’s present, but he’s kind of an unavoidable obstacle at this point. Pissed doesn’t begin to cover your feelings towards him and hurt doesn’t quite do it either. You’re angry about the things he did, the things he said, the way he covered up his true self, but most of all, you’re furious that your feelings didn’t just evaporate with the shift in his persona.

You thought time would heal everything, but so far it’s only turned you bitter about the whole thing. He still smells so fucking good. He’s still got a body like the weightlifting champ he is. He’s still dorky and funny in ways you wouldn’t expect a tool of his calibre to demonstrate. But he’s also a player and a crass asshole. A crasshole. Has he ever stayed with the same girl for more than a few days? You’d wager a confident sum of money that he never has.

Even though you hate his guts, your brain still finds ways to remind you that even if he’s a dick, he’s a dick you’re still attracted to. He’s the kind of dick you suck one night after getting drunk on cheap beer, and in the light of day you are disgusted with everything about it. So don’t get drunk and don’t suck that dick. Easy peasy, especially since fury overtakes you any time you look at him.

Pissed at him? That doesn’t cover it. Pissed at yourself? That’s closer, but it's still not quite all-encompassing. It’s some sort of culmination between the two that has you absolutely livid with the entire situation any time you think about it. He made you feel like a fool. You genuinely liked the person you thought he was, and he embarrassed you. That made not talking to him the way you did when you thought he had the emotional capacity of an actual decent human being hurt even more. At least you know now that he’s got more in common with a lifeless, unfeeling rock.

Not that he hasn’t tried to get you to talk to him. He has, texting you jokes, sending articles on upcoming game titles, spamming invites to a party on xbox live any time you log on, making a point to stand next to you, interrupting all of your conversations with an obnoxious “Hi, Princess!” and pestering you until you acknowledge him. Thankfully Namjoon has kept him from sitting next to you when you carpool, whether it be for dancing, dinner, karaoke, or any other external hangouts. Nevertheless, he still finds a way to annoy you despite the barriers in his path, and you are ready to claw his eyes out at a moment’s notice.

To keep your mind off how your last crush, well, crushed you and continues to let you down, you’ve been downloading and trying out a few different dating apps. You figure it’s time to find someone to connect with, and this is definitely how people do it these days, but your experience has been less than stellar. Jennie helped you set up your profiles and mentioned it in passing to Namjoon, mistakenly believing you told your other bestie about it. He's been teasing you about it every week since, but has been sworn to silence around the others under fear of you telling everyone about the time you caught him making out with a couch pillow.

He doesn't crash on your couch anymore.

Ever since Hoseok and Yoongi moved into the apartment down the hall, he's spent more evenings on their comfy sectional than you can count, but always after binging Kung Fu movies and bringing gratuitous amounts of takeout over your place. You’re grateful for the solitude so you can attempt to converse with strangers via text — maybe even flirt a little. Most of your conversations have become stagnant, but there’s been one guy texting you back and forth for a month now. You’re waiting on him to ask you out since you’re too much of a chickenshit to make the first move.

Now, as you walk down the hall with Namjoon, he elbows your ribs. “So... how’s your Jay-Jay?”

You wrinkle your nose at him. “Jason is fine.”

“He text you this week?” he asks, stopping in front of the apartment door.

Kind of.

“Mm-hmm!” Your reply is overly enthusiastic and it makes him suspicious.

“Did you text him first?” he questions, pausing before his knuckles touch the door.

Yes. But only because I saw a meme I could use as an excuse to talk to him.

“No.” The tone is questionable so you shake your head violently, scoffing. “I told him I wanted to meet in person.”

“Good. Good. Either he responds or he doesn’t,” he surmises, as if what he said isn’t the most obvious thing in the world. He snakes his hand around the back of your neck, massaging his fingers in circles over muscles you didn’t realize you’d tensed up. “And either way, I’m 100% certain you’re way too good for him. So don’t worry about it so much, okay?”

He snickers when you cast your gaze at the floor with a shy smile. “Joonie… That’s really sweet of you to say. I... Thank you.”

He shrugs off the gratitude with a smirk, trying to not let it get to his head. It’s true and you need to hear it. He clears his throat and knocks, nervously glancing over at you with his other hand still working small circles into the back of your neck. You’ll figure out soon enough that he’s also buttering you up since Jungkook is definitely home tonight, contrary to your belief that he certainly would not be.

The door swings open and a very sweaty, very shirtless Jungkook stands with his leg propped against the door, showcasing every glistening muscle of his body in the dim light. He dons an innocent smile, spreading his stance to push the door open wider and making sure you get a good look at the muscles tensing in his thigh. Your eyes helplessly scan the sculpted lines of his stomach, even as he purposefully flexes to draw the tiniest gasp from your lips. Pert brown nipples threaten to steal your attention, but you drag your eyes to the ink splattered across his skin instead. The myriad of tattoos that line the right side of his body tell a story you don’t have time or desire to explore, and you hate the way that your brain notes the curl of black ink disappearing beneath the band of his shorts and reappearing across his thigh.

“Princess, you made it.” He clicks his tongue with a devilish smirk as he watches you look him up and down with your mouth hanging stupidly agape.

Feeling your fight or flight response kick in, Namjoon’s fingers clamp down hard on your neck to keep you from bolting.

“What is he doing here?” you hiss in your friend’s direction, too distracted to fight against his iron grip on your neck.

“I live here,” Jungkook snorts, crossing his arms. “What? Didn’t you come here to see me?”

The anger on your tongue short circuits the connection your mouth has with your brain. Your jaw snaps shut and you roll your eyes, mirroring his action by folding your arms across your chest.

Jungkook seems amused by your irritation, offering a small laugh. “Client canceled so I decided to do a little exercise at home. Problem?”

He lets his hands drop to his sides, knowingly hooking his thumbs beneath the band of his shorts. Your eyebrow twitches and your jaw tightens. He knows the effect he has on women. He knows the effect he has on you. You’re determined to deny him the satisfaction so you simply stare him down. Douche.

Namjoon forces a dimpled smile to cut the tension. “So... I brought jenga! Do I smell pizza?”

You attempt to push past Jungkook, but he makes sure to bump a sweaty shoulder into you. “I’ve gotta shower. Wanna join?”

If you roll your eyes any harder, you might sever your optic nerve. “Don’t touch me.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

Somehow you’ve been stuck with the worst jenga player in the world as your teammate. Namjoon may be a good friend and smart as fuck, but he is terrible at anything requiring coordination. He’s been the only one to knock the tower over. Four times now. That’s four times you’ve had to drink the disgusting gin offered in the form of a shot by Seokjin.

“I think I’ll sit this one out,” you declare, wiping the taste of evergreen trees from your mouth as you set the empty shot glass back down. “Jin, jump in for me?”

You sit back in your chair and pulling out your phone to check your messages.The man grimaces at your request. “Do I have to? The odds seem stacked against me. I can only compensate so much, you know.”

Hoseok and Yoongi snicker into their beers and Jimin laughs out loud as he reaches into the communal bowl of popcorn possessively wedged between his teammate and himself.

“I think these teams are very fair,” Taehyung says, licking the salt from his fingers as he sets the last of the blocks back into position.

“I feel like my luck is changing. Different teammate, different energy, come on,” Namjoon assures him, making the first move.

The block slides out without issue and he drops it on top of the tower with a grin. Hoseok hums a thoughtful sound as he pushes a middle block with the tip of his pointer until it falls onto the other side of the table.

“I’m not sure you’re paying enough attention to be the referee,” Jin pouts.

“Are you really so mad that she’s not looking at you?” Jimin teases with a giggle while making his move. “This is one game where you can’t use your face as a bargaining chip, Jin. It’s all skill.”

The older man scoffs, rolling his eyes as he takes a side block and wagging it in your direction. “How will you know if someone cheats if you’re looking at your phone the whole time, hmm?”

“I’ll know,” you mutter, not bothering to look up. “Besides. How do you cheat at jenga? You knock the tower over or you don’t. Team that knocks the tower over does the shots. Those are pretty simple rules.”

Seokjin grumbles something unintelligible underneath his breath in response. You ignore him as you reach for your bottle of spiked root beer, trying to figure out some clever joke that might impress Jason enough to respond to you. You rack your brain, furrowing your brow in contemplation as you stare at the blinking cursor and take a big swig.

Out of the corner of your eye you catch the flash of white and subconsciously spare a glance up. Your stomach flips like it’s trying to win a gymnastics competition and you wish you could press undo on the double take your eyes have just performed without prompt. Maybe he didn’t notice.

Jungkook pauses in the hall, adjusting the white cotton towel around his waist. He’s grinning at you like the cat that ate the canary as he slowly drags his fingers over the edges of the fabric, peeling it from its resting place on his hips. Of course he fucking noticed.

You force your eyes back to the safety of your phone screen just in time, barely missing the flash of his glossy ink-covered skin. When he realizes you’re not watching the show he’s putting on, he fastens the towel around his waist and walks into the light of the den. You swallow, feeling his eyes rake over your form as he passes the table with a loud sigh.

“All clean,” he announces in a singsong voice as he continues towards the kitchen.

You hate the way your jaw threatens to betray you by attempting to drop at the sight of the rippled muscles carved into his upper back and the thick line creased into the meat of his spine. Even with the broad artistic strokes of color swathed across his back in the shape of a phoenix spreading its red-orange wings wide, you can still see the definition of his form chiseled beneath it. You try not to lose yourself in the flawless details painted into his flesh and grind your teeth to keep your jaw wired shut.

Wet, tangled locks of hair fall into his face as he reaches into the refrigerator. When he stands up straight, he arches his back to stretch his chest towards the ceiling. He’s got a tiny jug of banana milk in his palm and he’s working on chugging it down.

He pauses and licks remnants of the cloudy liquid from his lips. “Thirsty. Relatable, right, Y/N?”

You scowl, tapping furiously on your keyboard. “Put some fucking clothes on.”

Jungkook throws his hands in the air in defeat as he casually wanders out of the room. “Okay, okay. I’m going.”

Your eyes settle on the tower. Minutes pass and still it hasn’t fallen. Turn after turn around the table, the game has gone on far longer than anticipated. Namjoon is determined to not lose this time; it’s actually kind of impressive how careful he’s been. You’ve almost forgotten about Jungkook until he reappears, this time fully covered in black sweats and a long-sleeved shirt. The tension in the room is palpable. You’re afraid to even breathe in the direction of the wooden blocks precariously stacked on one another.

Hoseok is sweating as he prods the stack with his index finger, making a high-pitched whining sound as he tries to determine his next move. Jungkook wedges himself between Jin and Taehyung, forcing you to acknowledge his presence as he sits on the opposite side of the table and steals a fistful of popcorn.

After a few seconds, Hoseok sighs at Yoongi. “I give up. You do it. We’re a team. I’m gonna knock it over if you don’t,” he whines.

Yoongi rolls his eyes and quickly shoots his finger out at a random block. It flies across the table at Seokjin, causing him to dramatically duck out of the way just in time. The table erupts with laughter.

“Damn, that didn’t do it. I was hoping we could play cards now,” Yoongi mutters to himself.

“Hey, what are you doing? You almost hit me with that! You have to put that on top! Go get it!” Jin yells across the table, mind already heavily clouded with booze. At least he’s laughing so you know that heightened tone doesn’t indicate any serious animosity.

“It’s right next to you. Pick it up and give it to me,” Yoongi replies while leaning over the table, which causes the tower to immediately wobble. Hoseok dramatically gasps, bringing his hands to his mouth. Seokjin picks up the block and slides it across the surface as he gives you a pointed look.

"Isn't this cheating? Don't they forfeit since it was on Hobi’s turn?"

"They're technically a team.” You shrug.

"You are a terrible referee," he groans, rubbing his temple as Yoongi carelessly throws the piece on top.

Taehyung and Jimin fervently whisper to each other over their strategy before Taehyung reaches out for an easy-looking target. The slightest touch sends the blocks crashing down, causing the man to blink in disbelief.

“Time to drink up your handsome competitor. Gin served by Jin.” He snickers.

Jimin and Taehyung cringe as Jin slides two shot glasses full of the vile liquid towards them. They link elbows and tilt their heads back, downing the burning liquid in solidarity. Jimin seems unaffected while Taehyung’s face scrunches up and he coughs.

“It burns!” he sputters, clutching his chest. He walks into the kitchen, dragging his tongue across his palm as though it will remove the taste from his mouth.

“Thank god. I don’t think I could have stomached another,” Namjoon murmurs, rising to his feet. “Be right back.”

As soon as he heads off in the direction of the restroom, the others start cleaning up the mess of blocks scattered across the table and Yoongi begins shuffling a deck of cards. Jungkook takes the opportunity to slide into the empty seat beside you. You toss an annoyed glance his way in warning. “Can I help you, Jungkook?”

“You could if you weren’t so busy pretending like you don’t want to look at me.” His tongue pokes the inside of his cheek and he smiles innocently when you look up from your phone to glare daggers at him.

“You’re in Namjoon’s seat.”

He ignores your statement, peering over your shoulder to catch a glimpse of your phone screen. “Who are you texting? Is it your hot friend?”

“She doesn’t want to bang you, dude,” you tell him in a flat tone, flicking the power button to hide the message.

“Oh, just like you?” he asks, unable to hide the amusement striking his features.

After years of practicing this song and dance with other women, he’s grown accustomed to everyone wanting a piece of this cookie. There’s no way you’re immune, especially after his performance on the ocarina a few months ago. He charmed you before you could sink your teeth into his neck and do the same to him, and now you're mad about it. That’s your category, right? Your spite is obviously a cover for your disappointment.

Unless it isn’t. His conviction wavers as your jaw tightens and you take a swig from the dark bottle on the table. People don’t get close unless they want to get fucked. Literally. But you are Joon’s ‘friend’ and you seemed genuinely interested in getting to know him, at least for a little while. Most people are good at faking the first time, but it’s been a while and you’re still here. What if you’re actually hanging around his friends for all the right reasons? What if you had something other than shallow intentions? What if he actually hurt your feelings? He sinks back in his seat, silently stewing in his assumptions.

You set your phone face down on the table, a forced manic smile settling on Yoongi. “What are we playing?”

The man spreads the cards face down over the table in a circle, placing a single shot in the center. “It’s called the circle of death. There are a bunch of ways to play so I’m just gonna pick my favorites.”

He gets up, taking the magnetic whiteboard off the refrigerator and furiously scribbling notes on its surface. You crane your neck to get a good read, but it’s still fairly challenging to make out his chicken scratch.

“There’s a lot you can pick up after hours at bartending school. I had fun playing this with the other people in my class but it’ll probably be even better with you guys.”

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ  RULES:

A - Face

2 - You

3 - Me

4 - Floor

5 - Jive

6 - Forehead master

7 - Heaven

8 - Hate

9 - Rhyme

10 - Social

J - Never

Q - Eat

K - Rulemaker

Joker - Waterfall

Your eyebrows furrow at the words you can make out. “This seems complicated.”

Yoongi scoffs, setting the board on the counter and leaning it against the wall. “Trust me. It’s not as bad as it seems. Besides this will be right here in case you forget.”

“Does that say eat? Yoongi, what the fuck does that mean?” You tilt your head to the side and try to read the list in its entirety but still at a loss for what it means.

Hoseok scratches his head, equally as stumped by the list.

“I’ll go over the rules once everyone is back at the table. I have a feeling I’ll be repeating them enough once we start.”

You slump in your chair with a pout as you proceed to polish off your beverage. Namjoon returns and sees his spot has been taken.

"Kook," he warns, tapping his friend in the shoulder to try to get him to move over.

Namjoon isn't stupid in the slightest. He may lack common sense at times and he definitely is the clumsiest person in the room, but perception is his strength. What do you get when you add up the subtle glances, the nervous stutters, and shy smiles? Multiply that sum by the times you've tucked your hair behind your ear needlessly, gotten starry-eyed while talking, or claimed a seat nearby. Tallying your distracted behaviors yields a simple answer: a crush.

You don't have to say anything. You never have to say anything because you wear that shame so well. Even subtracting the stunt Jungkook pulled on Halloween and the distance you've put down since then, it's not enough to negate the total. You say you hate him, but those glances are still there. Pressing your lips tight to keep yourself from smiling has become your default defensive tactic. Playing with your hair quickly turns into tugging loose strands back into a ponytail. It’s almost painful to watch. He wonders if anyone else sees it for what it is because Jungkook sure doesn’t.

Staying out of it is tough because he knows both sides. But it’s not his place to spill the tea to either one of you. You’re both his friends and it’s hard not to feel like the mediator that he definitely doesn’t want to be. You’re adults. You can figure your shit out without him to take care of every little thing. Yeah, it would be easier just to do it all for you, but you’ll never learn that way and neither will he. However, that doesn’t mean he can’t drop some caution tape out every once in a while.

Jungkook digs his heels into the floor and huffs. “But I like this seat and you got up so it’s mine now.”

“Joonie, it’s fine.” You manage to keep the irritation out of your voice, talking over the man to your left like he’s not even there. “He’ll get bored eventually. Don’t feed the troll.”

Namjoon shakes his head and takes a seat on the opposite side of Jungkook, grumbling how you’re going to come crying to him later when Jungkook snaps your bra straps or some shit and his friend is gonna end up with a black eye but whatever not his problem. At least that’s the gist of what you get out of your friend’s griping. He may have a point, but you’re not going to acknowledge that. You’re busy looking at the plastic cup full of beer set down in front of you.

You crinkle your nose at Yoongi but he answers before you can ask. “Everyone is drinking the same thing. Even playing field. Not really fair if someone's got more alcohol in their drink."

You catch Taehyung's eyes across the table and mirror his disgusted expression, both of you sticking your tongue out at the liquid.

"Alright. There's only one rule you really need to be worried about in the beginning: my rule to keep you all from getting distracted. If you touch your phone, whoever catches you is allowed to send any message to any contact in it.”

Jungkook grins wickedly at you, noticing the way you drop your mobile device on the table and leave it where it lands face down. Yoongi goes over the rules one by one and gives an example of each being used. Everyone blinks at him stupidly once he gets to the Queen and delivers a deadpan explanation that whoever pulls that card has to eat it. None of you are drunk enough to believe him, so he scribbles the rule out on the whiteboard and writes a question mark instead. He sets the board back in place and continues with his explanation, looking at everyone expectantly.

He points at the board behind him, not bothering to look back at it. "This is here in case you forget what any of the cards mean, but we’ll go slow since there are eight of us.”

A full round around the table and you are all feeling pretty comfortable and giggly. Some of the more tame cards have made their way into the discard pile beside Yoongi.

Jin pulled an eight and made Tae drink until he said stop, which was hilarious and equally terrifying when you realized someone could do the same to you. Luckily the enemy beside you didn’t have the pleasure.

Taehyung pulls a King and tries to make a weird rule that any time a four is played and you’re all scrambling to the floor, the last one to touch the ground has to kiss the feet of the cardholder. When you collectively agree you are not doing that he huffs and makes a rule that for the rest of the game if you have to drink, you have to dirty talk your beer before taking a sip. This rule makes you determined not to lose any rounds.

Laughter erupts from the table when Yoongi calls his drink a filthy little slut before having to take a sip. Hobi is so thrilled when Yoongi pulls a five and starts dancing immediately after that he ended up cackling instead of focusing on the game. He’s less than thrilled about needing to drink after missing the opportunity to dance so he ends up glaring at his drink.

“Oh, you think that’s funny, you filthy bitch? You want me to put my hands around your throat, put my tongue on you and drink up? Alright then.” He coos a ridiculous sound at his cup and guffaws before taking a huge swig.

Jimin covers his eyes and laughs, downing the rest of his drink like it’s water without a thought of whether he was supposed to or not. He gets up to refill his cup as an excuse to hide the heat in his cheeks.

“Hobi’s upping the game. Woooooow.” Jin leans back in his chair, mouth agape with wonder before bursting into a squeaky laugh.

You gulp, hoping everyone is too distracted by their own laughter to notice the way your legs clamp together. What the fuck. What the fuck. What the actual. Fuck. Hobi. I gotta text Jennie. She’s not gonna believe this. No, don’t touch your phone. Don’t look at anyone. Just wait for your turn to pick a card.

Hobi pulls a three and has to drink again. “Ah. This slut wants more. Here we go, baby.”

You desperately scan the circle of facedown cards, a smile forcefully smattered on your features. You strain to reach the one you’re trying for. Hoseok slides it towards you with an innocent smile, as though those lips weren’t just spewing absolute filth. “I hope it’s a good one.”

Your eyes drop to the card as you flip it back on the table. Jack. You squint at the board, trying to figure out what “Never” means when Yoongi puts three fingers up.

“Alright, Y/N. This is Never Have I Ever. We all put our fingers up like this. You come up with something you’ve never done and say it out loud. If any of us have done those things,” he pauses and drops a finger so he only has two standing tall, “then we put them down. First one to have no fingers up has to drink.”

Oh no. What haven’t I done? What haven’t I done? The guys all expectantly wait for you to say something. You purse your lips as your mind blanks on every moment you’ve ever experienced.

“Never have I ever…” your mouth is dry. “I don’t know.”

Yoongi laughs. “Don’t think too hard. It doesn’t have to be anything crazy, but it does have to be true. It’s not fun otherwise. People have different goals. You can use it to learn or you can just try get as many people to drink as possible.”

Suddenly a lightbulb goes off in your head. They’re all men. “Never have I ever peed standing up.”

Everyone around the table puts a finger down. The mirth in Yoongi’s face becomes strained and his eyelids flutter as he sighs. “Careful. There are a lot of cards left and you’re about to make yourself a target.”

You press on anyway. “Never have I ever had sex with a woman.”

A few of them tut in annoyance as they’re all left with one finger up.

Jungkook pokes his tongue into the side of his cheek. “You’re not living your best life then.”

You furrow your brow while trying to think of another easy thing that could get them all to lose. Tapping your fingers on the table, you make an effort to focus on each one’s concentrated gaze. It comes to you and you filter your bottom lip through your teeth for a moment. Have they...? You’d bet they all have.

Jungkook rolls his eyes at you. “Come on, Princess. Just say whatever it is.”

“Never have I ever been to a strip club.”

There’s a collective sigh as their hands drop and they stare at their drinks. You grin like a maniac, taking in the garbled sounds of each one dirty-talking their drinks like it’s a goddamn orgy.

Jungkook looks over at you, making sure he has your attention as he offers an amused smile. “You really haven’t been to Wings?”

You’ve seen signs for that club, hating to admit the ads garnered intrigue. It’s split down the middle, supposedly one side angelic and the other hellish. “Nope. Drink up, Jungkook.”

He maintains eye contact with you, bringing his drink to his lips. “Maybe I can get you to come. Will you give me permission to taste you?” He tilts his head back and makes a show of closing his eyes and slowly slurping his beverage. You narrow your eyes at him before he puts the cup back down. “Delicious. My turn.”

He flips the card. “King. Ooh. My rule. Starting now, every time you say something you have to start with the word hashtag and end with dotcom.”

“Jungkook, that’s so stupid,” you say without thinking.

“Hashtag, drink up Princess, dotcom,” he replies with an impish grin.

You bite your lip and stare at your drink. How could you be so careless? They all lean in, waiting for the words to leave your mouth. You hold your hands up in a T-shape. “Hold up. Time out. Pause the game. I need some clarity. Do I have to say hashtag dotcom thing WHILE talking to my drink?”

Namjoon looses it, laughing like a maniac. “Hashtag, I think you fucking do Y/N dotcom.”

Jungkook just smiles, crossing his arms and waiting for you to continue. God, you fucking hate him. This is the dumbest rule you’ve ever heard. It’s going to get old fast. Still, you stare down at your cup. “Hashtag… Uh… I’m gonna... s-slurp your fluids out now, dotcom?”

Jungkook’s obnoxious laugh is piercing your eardrums as you down a few big gulps. The rest of the table roars with laughter and heat burns your cheeks, not daring to make eye contact with any one of them.

“W-What was that?!” Jin yells. “You sound like an alien! Can I give you some pointers, please?”

“Hashtag, Seokjin! You forgot dotcom!” Jungkook says, pointing to his friend’s cup.

Jin curses under his breath and stares at his cup. “Hashtag, this is how you do it, Y/N.” He focuses on his cup without missing a beat, raising it up to the sky longingly like he’s about to start serenading it. “You wish you could hear me say this every day, don’t you? You love how my mouth feels on you. I can tell by the way you’re dripping for me, my lovely. Dot. Com.” He makes a point to run his tongue along the rim of his cup and takes a sip.

Fuck these guys. But also… Fuck? These guys? You’re one dirty comment away from soaking your panties, but they don’t need to know that.

“Hashtag I’m sorry I’m not a slut like the rest of you. Also Seokjin, you’re a bitch, dotcom,” you grumble, gripping your knees to keep your hands off your phone. Jennie will absolutely scream once you tell her about this night. She’ll be sad she missed out.

Jin’s eyes go wide as though you smacked his ass in front of the world, a smile is taking over the corners of his mouth. “Hashtag, stop trying to flirt with me, dotcom.”

You roll your eyes but you can’t help the shy smile that creeps in. Jungkook sits up straight and sighs dramatically. “Hashtag let’s keep going so we can get the rest of this bread dotcom.”

Jimin pulls a king and has made the rule that hashtag dotcom is abolished. It comes as a relief when you’re a few more rounds in, and everyone has already consumed way more booze than expected because of Jungkook’s rule. An uneventful round of drinking passes before Seokjin pulls the last King out.

“A rule, hmm? Alright. When you ask someone to drink you have to hold their chin, stare longingly into their eyes, and ask them to drink.” He demonstrates, holding Taehyung’s jaw in his fingers. “Like this. Will you please drink for me, my dear friend, Taehyung?”

Tae bashfully giggles waving his hand away. “You’re too much sometimes. I think you need a girlfriend.”

Since it only applies for certain cards, you end up forgetting about it as multiple turns come and go without utilizing it. Your turn rises again and you slide the eight face up across the table. After kicking your chair with his feet for the millionth time, you completely forget about the rule Jin made and pick based on your irritation. Eight is hate indeed.

“Jungkook, go until I say stop.”

The words feel satisfying as they leave your mouth, but Namjoon grimaces, anxiously baring both sets of teeth.

“Uh… You gotta…” Namjoon taps his cheeks twice with his fingertips.

Horror replaces that smug satisfaction in the pit of your stomach and it churns a sickness deep inside that pit.

Jungkook cocks his head at you. “You really wanna put your hands on me that badly, huh?”

You exhale loudly and tightly grip his chin with sweaty, hot fingers. Your eyes threaten to burn holes into his. “Jungkook, go until I say stop.”

He’s stunned into silence for a second, adam’s apple bobbing ever so slightly. He blinks at you a couple times before regaining his composure. Who knew princesses can breathe fire? Grabbing his cup, he grins and chuckles an amused sound even as you’re tearing yourself from him.

“Don’t worry I can go all night when you taste so good, baby,” he says, tilting his head back as he drinks.

You keep an eye on his cup, watching the liquid slowly disappear. You have to be careful not to let him finish, but you kind of want him to suffer a little bit. Even though he drinks like a fish, he’s still not on Jimin’s level. This has to be affecting him somehow. He watches you through an annoyed side-eye when you don’t say a word, not allowed to stop until you say so or until he finishes his drink. Your phone chooses this exact moment to vibrate a long sound against the table and your concentrated gaze wanders for a second too long, allowing him to gulp down the remnants of his drink.

Jungkook slams his empty cup down in time for you to look back at him in horror before looking at your own full cup. The room fills with the sound of everyone “ooooh-ing” like this is the sixth grade. With a heavy sigh, you bring your cup to your lips.

“I was distracted. I would have said stop.”

Jungkook leans his elbow on the table and rests his head on a folded palm. His smile tells you he’s ready to dish it back. “Mmm-hmm. Go on. Oh… Wait.”

He sits up, cupping your jaw in his hands so lightly, like it could disintegrate at the slightest touch. He leans his head back slightly, soft eyes imploring you to move closer. He slides his fingers up your jawline, nestling them behind your ears like he’s about to draw you to his lips. “Will you be good and drink that for me until I ask you to stop?”

Jin scoffs. “Wow. Look at this guy.”

The others hold back their snickers. Your eyebrow twitches, smacking his hands away from you. Instead you focus on the cup in your sweaty palms.

“I can’t wait to feel you… dripping from my mouth,” you whisper to your cup, trying to redeem yourself for earlier and doing your best not to think about how fucking good it felt having Jungkook’s hands wrapped around the sides of your face. You don’t spare a look at any of them as you tilt your head back and start gulping the liquid down.

“Much better,” Yoongi says with a smirk, but you don’t hear him over the sound of blood rushing in your ears.

Namjoon smacks his hand to his forehead. “Yeah... I’m gonna need you to dial it back just a bit. I still have to see you at work.”

Jin pretends to wipe a tear from his eye. “Ah, maybe our Zelda isn’t so bad at this after all.”

Jimin, Taehyung and Hobi all have their elbows on the table, cheeks in their palms as they watch your throat make its swallowing motions. They simultaneously grunt differing words of affirmation. About three quarters through, Jungkook puts his hand on the bottom of your cup.

“Stop.”

Mercy? From Jungkook? You don’t believe it, but you’ve been struggling so you’re kind of grateful. Just as you’re about to put the cup down, he taps the bottom of it, forcing liquid to splash upwards onto your chin. You slap his hand away as he cackles and you wipe your lips.

“Fuck you, Jungkook.”

“What time, sweetheart?” He grins when you glare at him.

“Just pick your fucking card before I strangle you.”

“Kinky. You know, I might let you if you asked nicely.”

You get the pitcher of beer from the fridge and start refilling everyone’s cups. He pulls a card that has him whispering dirty words into the rim of his empty cup, holding it out for you to fill. At least most of the cards seem to be gone now. You hate to admit you’re feeling a bit dizzy and out of sorts, but you reason that it’s just a few more rounds, so maybe you just sip on water after this game is over.

Just as you get back to your seat, Namjoon throws a sheepish grin your way. “Joker.”

“There’s only one of these,” Yoonngi begins, looking around the room to make sure he has everyone’s attention. “Waterfall is when everyone starts drinking and you can’t stop until the person to your right stops. Namjoon can stop whenever he wants, but Jin has to wait until he’s done. Then Taehyung waits until Jin is done. Make sense?”

Normally the waterfall card is played in the opposite direction, but there’s so much tension between you and Jungkook tonight and he’s so used to his friend getting his way with women that he can’t help wanting to give you the edge on him. Everyone nods. The realization dawns on everyone that before this can happen, they all have to do two things per the rules.

One after another the guys ask the person to their left to drink while gripping their chins. It would be a fairly intimate scene if people weren’t giggling every three seconds. Still, your heart damn near skips a beat when Hobi’s slender fingers curl under your jaw, drunkenly pulling you closer to his face than you’ve ever dared to get. Heat builds in your stomach and travels up your chest, spreading across your back and prickling your neck. You hope it doesn’t move into your cheeks.

“You gonna take this drink, Y/N?” he aks, unable to hold the giggles in as he wags your head back and forth in his steady hands.

Oh… He’s fucking gone, isn’t he? “For you? Maybe,” you flirt, rubbing your shoulder against his as you turn away.

Jungkook sits up straight, muscles tensing as you twist your body towards him. Suddenly, he looks a lot bigger than you remember. Is he puffing out his chest? You wilt under his irritated stare but are determined not to let it show. You slip your fingers underneath his chin, just barely registering the stubble there. Your slow blink hides the flutter of your eyelashes, alcohol clouding your brain with desire. But damn if the room isn’t still spinning. He flashes you boyish grin when you clap your palm to his shoulder to steady yourself.

“Yes?”

“Drink up, buttercup,” you giggle, pinching your fingers closed beneath his jaw.

A choked laugh escapes him. “You should sit this one out. At this rate, you’ll be passed out with your face on the toilet seat in an hour.”

You spin back to your drink with fury in your eyes; if there’s anything you hate more than Jungkook, it’s being told what to do. Especially by Jungkook. I’ll show you, asshole.

Everyone turns to their cups and mutters a few dirty words before Namjoon begins the circle of drinking. One by one the cups come down, everyone seemingly grateful for the person before them showing at least some kind of mercy. You slow your gulping when you realize Jimin is dragging it out in an attempt to annoy Yoongi. Both of them still seem surprisingly sober for the amount they’ve ingested. Maybe they don’t wear their intoxication as easily as the rest of you. Hobi exchanges a worried glance at you, trying to not let it slip that he’s only pretending to down his beverage, but you can tell by the steady level of the liquid in his cup that he’s pretty much ready to tap out.

As soon as Jimin finally pulls his cup back from his lips, Yoongi stops, immediately followed by Hobi. Yoongi is keenly aware of his roommate’s inability to hold down liquor in large quantities. He doesn’t fare much better with beer. Saving his friend means you can be saved too. He looks at you, raising his eyebrows in warning. You spare a fleeting glance in his direction, but it’s long enough to catch his message loud and clear: Don’t be an idiot, Y/N. Don’t go overboard.

But you turn your attention to Jungkook, who is still effortlessly allowing his beverage to slither down his throat. You gulp in segments, a commendable attempt to keep yourself going. Even for all your efforts, booze spills from the corners of your mouth and leaves cold sloppy trails down your neck as you watch Jungkook. He’s not even struggling. Fuck. You finally give up, allowing the cup to smack down on the table with a messy splash.

He keeps going just to spite you, polishing off his drink with a smack of his lips and a satisfied sigh. He rises from his seat, patting your shoulder as he gets himself more to consume. “It’s cute how hard you tried.”

The final round passes and you are ready to strangle Jungkook for the way he keeps knocking his knees against yours. It’s gotten to the point where you’ve moved your chair so close to Hobi’s that he’s put his arm around you, thinking you are just as sleepy as he is. Truth be told you kind of are. The room is a little too spinny for your liking, but you can’t seem to persuade your brain to make your legs get up and get yourself a glass of water.

“You want to nap too?” he whispers, rubbing the eyes he can hardly keep open. “Come here. Let’s sleep together.”

The innocent words make your stomach spin in place but you don’t have time to ruminate on them. Jungkook hooks his ankle around your chair and jerks it back towards him. Furious eyes flicker on him in warning just as Hobi’s cheek slumps over your shoulder and draws your attention away. Luckily Yoongi springs into action to keep his friend from falling any further into your personal space than he already has.

“Okay, Hobi. We get it. You need to sleep,” he chuckles, cradling his friend’s arm around his shoulder as he helps him to his feet.

Hoseok weakly grumbles a sound of acknowledgement as they shuffle down the hall into what you assume is a guest room. Their apartment is bigger than any you’ve seen so you find yourself wondering just how many guest rooms they could possibly have. Then you remind yourself that it doesn’t matter because you are definitely not staying because getting an uber is always an option.

When Yoongi returns alone, people have started migrating into the living room. Jungkook and Jin are still seated, heatedly talking about some game nearby, but you’ve elected to ignore them in favor of checking your messages. Jason has sent you a few messages that have piqued your interest, including one finally asking you on a date. Does ignoring guys really fucking work? Was Namjoon right about something in his life? You don’t want to believe it.

The words in Jason’s message blur together, despite how hard you’re concentrating on them. You’d told him you were out with friends. He must have known you’d be relatively unavailable so maybe it’s okay that you’re in no shape to formulate a coherent response. Still you stare at the keyboard, jumping when an arm reaches over you to place a glass of water on the table for you.

You blink a few times at Yoongi, who simply whispers a gruff “drink” before grabbing the shot left in the center of the table and downing it as he joins the majority of his friends in the other room. Jungkook looks over at you, eyes dropping to your open conversation when you absentmindedly set your phone down. You take the cold glass in both hands and narrow your eyes in Yoongi’s direction as you swallow down a good portion of the liquid.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

It’s been an hour and if you’re honest you’ve just barely teetered back into the moderately drunk category. Yoongi had offered to take you home when he was getting ready to leave since he was already chauffeuring Namjoon. At the time you declined because you were certain that your natural predisposition to motion sickness would be amplified by the liquor in your system. You didn’t want to make Yoongi’s new car smell like puke. Namjoon has this habit of texting when he’s worried. Even after he left you’d been going back and forth about the night. Honestly it’s kind of helping keep you from passing out and you’re reminded how grateful you are for his friendship.

Sitting on the couch next to Jimin may have also influenced your decision since the man literally smells how vacations feel — and god do you need to relax. He’s also acted as a barrier between you and Jungkook, who has his legs stretched out across the cushions to Jimin’s right. Jungkook has been engrossed in his phone since you left the table, opting out of switching off with Taehyung when he dies in-game. You’re kind of thankful for it. Maybe he’s finally settled down for the night. Does he get more polite with drowsiness?

Jimin smiles softly at you, his arms draped over the back of the couch. The pair of you have been quietly conversing and giggling over the platformer Seokjin and Taehyung have been playing. Jimin’s face still looks a little flush with alcohol, but he only just finished his last beverage for the night. How the hell can someone so tiny pack away so much liquor? You hold in a shiver as his fingertips playfully dance along your shoulder, trying not to let on how the action affects you. His harmless flirting only bolsters confidence hiding in the depths of your mind and you stretch your arms up with a yawn and lean against him, knowingly giving him a better view of the cleavage poking out from beneath the v-cut of your shirt.

Jimin allows a devilish smile to curl at his lips as his fingers walk down your arm. He puts both hands back on the couch, like you’d made the move unprompted by his touching. “Hmm. You’re pretty bold, aren’t you?” His whisper is low and breathy, so quiet you almost miss it. What a tease.

“Hey. Jimin. Come here.”

The unusually quiet Jungkook knocks his foot against his friends knee, which pushes Jimin’s thigh up against yours. You softly sigh at the contact and the subsequent loss when Jungkook sits up and Jimin apologetically scoots away. You plant an elbow on the armrest beside you and prop your cheek up on your palm. Seokjin is carrying Taehyung through this level it seems.

“Do you think I should tap that?” The words are loud enough to distract you so you can’t help but turn your head in their direction.

“I think she might be out of your league,” Jimin giggles. “Besides she’s older than you. I thought that bothered you?”

“Oh. No way. I love it. When they have more experience I don’t have to work as hard,” he replies with a lofty sigh.

“Are you sure about that in this case? You’re very presumptuous.”

Your blood heats up the back of your neck. Why are men so disgusting? You grit your teeth, unable to hold in the sound of disgust that makes its way through them.

Jungkook’s head snaps up and he locks eyes with you. There’s something smug about his expression, like he’s stupidly proud of pulling that reaction from you. “Aw, are you feeling left out, princess? Here, see for yourself. Don’t you think she’s pretty?”

When he flips his screen around your own profile is staring back at you. Straightening your spine and reaching across Jimin’s lap for him, you hiss, “Jungkook, I’m gonna kill you.”

“Why?” He tilts his head to one side, feigning confusion and looks at the profile again. “I think she’s pretty hot.”

“If you match with me, I will not swipe right on you. You know that, right? So this whole thing is pointless,” you reason, more for yourself than the two men beside you. “You’re not gonna get to me. It’s not gonna fucking work, Jungkook.”

Jimin’s shoulders tremble with soft, mellifluous laughter that spills from his lips as he takes in the exchange. It’s apparent that Jungkook has already gotten under your skin. Denying it is only making you angrier.

“Fine. Fine. It’s gone now, see,” Jungkook says, briefly flashing you the home screen of his phone before putting it away. The image of that big tiddy anime girl behind all those icons is going to haunt your dreams; you can feel it.

You get up to get yourself more water. “I hate you so much.”

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

It’s late. Seokjin left a few minutes ago and Jimin rubs his eyes, unsure what to do. The selfish part of his brain tells him he should claim the other guest room. The horny part of his brain tells him he should suggest you share with him. The exhausted part of his brain tells him to just pass out in Taehyung’s bed and let him figure it out.

“You’re welcome to stay, too. We have room for you,” Taehyung says with a kind smile. “There’s another guest room.”

You still don’t feel well enough to drive or sit in a cab. You sit with your hands folded in your lap, pondering your shitty life choices. You’ve become pretty good friends, but a sleepover seems a bit strange without your bestie Namjoon to buffer out all of the awkward moments.

You smile as sweetly as you can manage, your voice small and borderline whiny in its need for sleep. “I’ll sleep on the couch. I don’t want to be a bother. Thank you, Taehyung.”

The man rolls his eyes. “I won’t allow you to sleep on a couch when we have beds.”

“Your couch is comfier than my actual bed,” you joke, patting the plush cushions on either side of you.

Jungkook walks in, shirtless and scrubbing a toothbrush furiously in his mouth. He tries to speak but it’s unintelligible, so he turns back around to finish up.

“It’s really okay. I should stay up and finish my water anyway and I don’t want to keep you guys up. I drank a little too much.”

“No shit,” Jungkook sighs as he rounds the corner and leans against the wall. “Don’t worry. I’ll stay up with you, Princess.”

Taehyung flashes his friend a pointed look and opens his mouth to speak, but closes it when Jungkook continues.

“You guys go on. I’ll make sure she drinks up her water and gets to bed.”

You glare at him as Taehyung moves in to whisper something to him, but you lose focus as Jimin pulls you into a tight hug that you can’t help but return.

“Thanks for coming tonight,” he mumbles into the fabric of your hoodie. “I’m glad you’re a part of our family.”

You squeeze his shoulder before he shuffles down the hall and disappears into the bathroom. “Goodnight, Y/N!”

Taehyung offers a boxy smile and a small wave, demeanor changed after his side conversation with Jungkook. “Don’t take off without having breakfast. Seokjin will come back and make something tasty. Also I put your keys in my studio so good luck finding them if you try.”

You half laugh, half scoff. “Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind. ‘Night.”

“Goodnight,” he says, passing Jungkook a tight lipped smile on his way down the hall.

Jungkook waits until he hears the door close before he speaks and for the first time since you met him, his tone borderlines concerned. “Be honest with me. How sick are you right now?”

Your throat swallows down a thick mass of air. “I’m fine.”

“Tch. Okay, Princess,” he scoffs in disbelief, taking slow steps towards you with his hands buried in the pockets of his black sweatpants. “Do you need a bucket?”

“No.” You drink down your water, trying to focus on anything but the way your body is producing enough sweat to make you want to discard your hoodie as soon as he leaves you alone.

A door opens down the hall and Jimin shuffles out before disappearing into another room. The quiet click of the door closing causes Jungkook to sigh. 

Spinning. The room is spinning again. You hold the cold glass in your hands like it’s your lifeline, shut your eyes and throw your head back to rest it against the couch. You don’t notice when he leaves, but you definitely notice the cold cloth pressed to your forehead when he returns.

“Do you want comfier clothes?” he quietly asks, voice bereft of any humor as he sinks into the cushion beside you.

You open your eyes and glare at him like this is some prank he’s playing on you but you’re not sure how. “No.”

He rolls his eyes. “Suit yourself. I get hella hot when I’m drunk off my ass. Figured I’d ask.”

“I’m not...” you begin, trying to bring your head to rise. It feels heavy and plops back down on the seat.

“You’re drunk,” he states plainly. “And miserable. So drink up the rest of the water and I’ll show you to the guest room. It’ll be embarrassing if any of my friends wake up to you looking so pathetic. Come on.”

He helps you bring the cup to your lips and tilts your head forward enough to safely consume the rest of the water in your glass.

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

“If you think this is what nice guys are like, I feel bad for you.” He puts the glass down in the kitchen sink, briefly rinsing it.

“Jungkook,” you whine, an exasperated sigh passing your lips with his name.

“What? Your judgement of character is way outta whack. It’s just sad,” he explains, crossing the room while rubbing fresh lotion up his arms. Washing dishes makes his skin feel itchy.

“Alright. Come on. Up.” He waves his arms lets them weakly smack his thighs when you don’t move.

A whiff of sweet peaches and soft jasmine pervades your nostrils. Why does he have to smell so fucking good? He removes the cool cloth from your forehead, earning a whine from you.

“You’ll get a new one when you get in bed. I can carry you, if that’s easier.”

“Tell me why you’re doing this. I don’t get it. What do you want?”

“I want to go to sleep so I can be lazy tomorrow and do nothing but play video games.” When you don’t budge he sighs and sits down beside you again. “And... because... you’re Namjoon’s friend and he asked us to look out for you... And now you’re all of my friends’ friend… And I guess that makes you my responsibility.”

“Don’t worry. I wasn’t expecting you to just decide you’re gonna be nice out of the blue,” you weakly smirk and let your head roll to the side so you can look at him. “Should have known it was Namjoon.

He hums an amused sound. “Yeah. Now are you going to let me get you in bed?”

You’re able to force your head up at that. “I can get myself in bed just fine thanks.”

He laughs. “Your loss.”

You stand on unsteady legs. “Where am I going?”

Jungkook grins, entertained by your lack of coordination. “That’s a good question. Where are you going, Princess?”

You stumble a bit, reaching out to steady yourself with a wall that is definitely too far to grab. Long, tattooed fingers grip your shoulders in an instant. The heat of his massive chest presses against your shoulder blades. Even through your layers of clothing you can feel how hot his skin burns and it makes you shiver, despite the way you’re soaked with sweat.

“Don’t make me ask you for help,” you plead. “Please don’t.”

“Do you want me to pretend like you didn’t beg for it, too?” he whispers, curling a muscular bicep around your back and guiding you down the hall. As he passes the thermostat, he makes a point to lower the temperature a few degrees. Jimin, Hobi, and Tae will survive. But then again, he’s not worried about them at all, is he?

“Haven’t you embarrassed me enough?” You voice cracks and you’re barely managing to hold back the tears threatening to spill out.

He doesn’t say a word as you cling to the strength of his body, looping your arms around his neck and waist as though he isn’t the last person in the world you want to tangle yourself in. He pushes the door to his room open with his shoulder, making sure you get across the threshold okay before helping you awkwardly waddle over to the unmade bed. You don’t seem to notice, and if you do, you definitely don’t comment.

Your hoodie is falling from your shoulders as you climb onto the mattress. Jungkook grabs the fabric and slings it over his shoulder. You’ve landed at a weird angle across the pillows and show no signs of correcting your position so he moves the pillows beneath your head to comfortably accommodate you. You slowly blink at him, but you’re not seeing him. Silent tears rolling down your cheeks as he grabs the thinnest sheet on his bed and pulls it over your form up to your shoulders. He chooses to ignore the way you quickly swipe them away and instead goes to get the cold towel he promised.

Standing in the sink with ice cold water running over the cloth in his hands. “I’m sorry,” he whispers into the air around him, knowing no one will ever hear it.

When he returns he waits a moment, looking for the steady rise and fall of your chest. He smooths the hair from your face before pressing the cold cloth against your sweaty forehead, turning your head to the side just in case your body decides it isn’t quite ready to rest. He lightly pats your head a couple times and leaves the room, delicately closing the door behind him.

As he makes the journey back to the couch, he feeds his arms through the sleeves of your hoodie. He settles down on the couch, feeling the warmth of the space you’d been occupying all night beneath his head. Pulling down the blanket from atop the back of the couch, he brings his knees to his chest. He bunches the soft, excess material of your hoodie in his palms and turns his head into the fabric, allowing himself a subtle inhale.

Why do you have to smell so fucking good?

[carolineworld]

sorry another one too 😅💕, zoenne & “I want the K”

Never say sorry for making me happy sending me a fanfic request, never. Thank you so much for this ❤💕

So the “I want the K” means the following: send me two characters and “I want the K” and I’ll generate a number for them! So I have decided to choose 1/7/11 for this zoenne prompt request.

1: Passionate kiss // 7: Goofy kiss // 11: Nose kiss  Zoë x Senne 

With Christmas being around the corner and the family meetings and traditions about to begin, they all have decided to meet up, do a small Christmas party together. As a tradition, they all gathered around Zoë and Milan’s apartment with drinks, foods, and their Secret Santa presents, ready to party and have fun before the holidays start. 

The flat looks so nice, all decorated for the occasion with little lights and garlands all over the place. Snow globes and small figures decorate the tree that very carefully the two roommates put up together, with a shiny gold star on top. 

Warm wine, all sorts of drinks, and a big chocolate pot and marshmallows decorate the table. The candy bar with all types of sweets is currently being emptied, as the guest prefers the sweet over the savory plater with veggies and chips that Zoë has prepared. A mix of Christmas carols and fun upbeat songs sound in the background, as several groups of people talk while other dance happily. 

It’s such a great party that everyone’s enjoying and having fun, and Zoë can’t be happier. This time last year she was partying in the same place, the same celebration going on, but the feeling was off. The was something -more like someone- missing and the happiness was not as high as it is tonight. Tonight no one isn’t happy, no one that isn’t smiling and having fun.

She looks around and all she can see is pure happiness. Noor, Britt, and Amber are talking while drinking the hot chocolate she carefully prepared with Sander’s help earlier. Speaking of Sander, he’s having what it looks like a dancing competition with Aaron and Moyo while Jens and Robbe look at them in a combination of embarrassment and amusement.

A laugh escapes from her lips as she ‘denies’ with her head, having a hard time keeping herself quiet so they don’t notice her laughing at them. 

“Careful, pretty girl” a very busy Milan warns her, having his hands full of refilled candy bowls that their friends have been enjoying. 

A big smile appears on her face. She’s so grateful she has found him. Every time she looks at him she’s more and more sure that Milan is a Guardian Angel sent from heaven. He has helped every single person he saw it needed help, without searching for anything in return. He is the most selfless person she has ever met. An older brother, a parent figure, and the best friend she could ask for. 

One of the bowls that Milan was bringing end up in Jana’s hands, eating the candy inside like popcorn as she listens to whatever Yasmina is saying. Her best friend is finally back for the holidays, after spending more than two months in New York, and she cannot be happier. Her video calls and endless text messages are not enough when all you need is one of her hugs. And she thought that the month and a half of ‘distance relationship’ she had to do with Senne in lockdown were hard. Ha! Silly you, Zoë, she tells herself. Nothing will top the sadness and loneliness that you feel when your best friend is far away from you.

Luckily, Yasmina, Amber, Robbe, Milan, and Senne were there for her. She cannot thank the world enough for giving her these amazing people, and those who came with them, for loving her unconditionally and support her every step of the way.

Now that she notices, something is going on. She sips on her non-alcoholic gin tonic that Senne made her as she suspiciously looks at the little group formed of her boyfriend and two best friends talking way too secretive, as they stopped talking when Milan approached them, and they keep looking at her without any reasonable explanation.

On that couch on the other side of the room, and very far away from the bleach blonde girl, a very important conversation is going on. With the breakup and the ‘let’s try to not have contact with each other as much as possible’, Senne hasn’t been able to celebrate almost anything with his girlfriend. Not Christmas, not neither of their birthdays or even Valentines’s Day. And now that they are back together and with no plans of breaking up ever again, he’s excited to continue with the celebrations.

Last November they celebrated six months since they got back together. It was a private ‘celebration’, as Zoë said that last time they celebrated a six month anniversary they broke up a bit afterward, and thought they would have bad luck again, so they decided to go to dinner and spend the night in Senne’s apartment, celebrating their own way. And now Christmas is coming up and Senne has big plans for her gift, but he needs help and approval.

That’s why he is talking to the two people that know Zoë best, after him of course. He knows how important Yasmina and Jana are to Zoë and he wants to make sure that what he has planned is something he will know she will like. He would talk to Milan, but he doesn’t know how to keep a secret and everyone would know the next day, so better be safe and tell the girls than sorry because of Milan.

“I think the Christmas trip to Bruges is a good idea, she will like it” Yasmina smiles, and Senne is happy. At first, he thought that a trip would be too much, specially after the Museum and concert tickets he also planned to give her, along with a small and delicate coin pendant necklace with their initials engraved on it.

They all laugh as chocolate-covered peanuts fly out of Jana’s mouth, as she was trying to fit too many and forgot about them while talking. When everyone is calmed down and everything is as clean as possible, Jana answers: “Yeah, I think it’s a good idea, too”

“What is a good idea?” A curious Zoë asks, surprising them all. They look at each other not knowing what to say. 

“Nothing,” Senne says quickly as a nervous smile shines on his face, while the girls keep quiet and Zoë is looking at them suspiciously.

The couple locks eyes, challenging each other to see who is going to give up earlier. Senne has a secret to keep, a type of secret that is better to keep, and Zoë knows something is up and is determined to discover it.

“I think Amber is calling us over there, so we will leave you two alone, right Jana?” After a few looks and some gentle slaps on her arm, Jana finally agrees and they leave them alone.

As Senne’s nervousness starts to rise, Zoë thinks about a plan to make him speak. Her mother one time told her that women are powerful if they use their tributes the right way and even though she highly disagrees with that sexist statement, in this type of situation, it’s not a bad idea.

Without any explanation, Zoë sits seductively in his lap, playing with the back is his hair while biting her bottom lip. If the central heating of the apartment wasn’t enough, now he certainly is a bit too hot.

“Baby?” Hot air from her whisper touches his ear and he has to physically stop himself from reacting, so she won’t know that she is indeed making him weak. How could she not? She is his biggest weakness.

Swallowing hard, he answers a quick “Yeah” while trying to think about something to distract him. Thankfully, Robbe and Sander are teasing Aaron and it’s useful enough to make him forget about the gorgeous lady he has in his lap.

“Remember when we agreed to communicate and tell the other one everything?” She is feeling herself, so she comes close to his lips and before kissing him she adds: “Well, I think right now you are not telling me everything”

Hopefully, and he doesn’t care that it sounds bad, he has time to think of his excuse while she’s kissing him. He should be enjoying the kiss. Zoë is not a passionate kisser, especially in public, so the fact that they are basically making out in front of everyone and he’s not enjoying it fully because his girlfriend is too noisy is such a shame.

“Are you going to tell me what were you talking about with my friends?”

Thank god he still has some brain cells that haven’t been affected: “Oh your friends? They are not my friends, too?” Now is his time to smirk at her, and distracting her from the secret that is her Christmas gifts. 

“They were my friends first, then yours, but they were mine first.”

“Possessive, huh?” He lifts his eyebrows, smirking at her sassy face, as she’s, without succeeding, trying to make an angry face.

“You are not going to distracting me, you are keeping something from me” Oh, her stubborn girl, he’s going to have to try hard to not say anything.

“It’s nothing bad, I promise. But you cannot know, at least not yet.”

If her trying to be seductive didn’t work, she doesn’t know what will. She considers herself a pretty normal girl, but when she’s with him, when Senne looks at her, she feels so powerful and unstoppable. So the fact that that didn’t work, the fact that with a bit of seduction she didn’t make him spill whatever secret he’s keeping from her, it's a bit upsetting.

So she tries to do what she thinks will work: tickle him. At first, he laughs, doesn’t talk, or confesses tho, just laughs and tries to escape. It’s all fun and giggles when she remembers that he is stronger than her and that it’s a matter of seconds when he realizes that he can beat her. 

And as if they were connected, Senne finally realizes that he can beat her, and gently blocks her hand from his ribcage to blow raspberries into her neck, making it her time to laugh.

“I promise you, on my life, that it’s nothing bad. It’s one of those things you need to know at a certain time, that’s why I can’t tell you right now, cause it’s not the right time to do so. Okay?” he can see her physically gasp for air, just to make the fakest thinking face ever. “Do you trust me?”  

Her face softens, the brightest and sweet smile appearing on her face. She sits up, as she was in his lap, and sits on the couch next to him. Grabbing his big hand in her tiny ones, she looks at him while rubbing her thumb against his hand. “I do, I trust you”.

“Good” With how she’s sitting on the couch and the noticeable height difference they have, giving her a kiss on the lips is quite a difficult task, as the kiss that was supposed to end up in her lips ends in her nose, causing an adorable giggle to escape both their mouths.

“You missed”

“Maybe, maybe not” The sight that is her eyes shining in love is definitely one of his favorite things, right after how their hearts seem to beat at the same time when they kiss.

Prompt from the But do you REALLY want the K? list.

[ayakashiramblings]

Dawn and Twilight’s Social Media Accounts

Kuya

@NevermoreButSnore.

1230 followers.

Yes, I copied Edgar Allan Poe. Yes, I’m not sorry about the rhyme. Or calling him out. 

Not that he really cares.

Insists that he is a headcanon creator on Twitter 

Everyone who follows him knows that he is lying. 

If we really had to classify him as a writer, it would one who posts those way-too-accurate posts about writers complaining about writing. 

Like the notebook hoarding one. Not that anyone here in the fandom is guilty of that, haha... haha... ha.

Ironically is one of the more popular ones out of the whole group. 

His flat responses and laziness are way too prominent to NOT be noticed. 

If you actually tentatively sneak into his DMs though, for writing tips, he will patiently listen and... rather bluntly advise you. 

It’s still advice though and is always the type to check out and reblog any short fanfics.

It just has to be weird, sporadic hours because he is the type to fall asleep with the phone on his face. 

Koga Kitamikado

1230 followers.

@CapitalKayKay

Listen, there is a reason why a lot of successful businesses chose Instagram as their social media so Koga is no exception. 

What makes his account stand out, as you can see from his rather cheeky username, is that he is willing to be an open book. 

So he isn’t constantly shoving down any products he is sponsoring or whatever piece he is endorsing. 

It’s more of genuinely wanting to hang out and explore what the world has to offer. 

Whenever he posts a picture of the gang together, he’s the one tagging all of them, even the ones with hard usernames.

And there’s always a nice comment thanking whoever hosted the fun time or being appreciative of the area and the locals.

It helps that he has a sense of humour so the memes are always just the right amount of teasing but nothing too bad that will deter potential clients.

Because of his down-to-earth nature, he reels everyone in.

Uses the space to invite everyone following him on any celebration/casual outing.

The thing is... he has a lot of followers.

So... good luck.

Aoi

1150 followers.

@DeredArtTooTsun

Look, even he knows he is a Tsundere. It’s a small victory getting him to acknowledge that, let alone use it to brand himself here.

But god, he’s the man I’m most jealous of on Tumblr.

PERFECT BULLET JOURNALS AND SKETCHES.

Got the spreads that literally define ‘aesthetic’, a perfect lineup of art materials even with pencils that have their numbers faded, and somehow, the emotions can pass through the paper and screen.

Even does tutorials on perspectives, positions with cute annotations. Just don’t praise them for being adorable though and focus on improving your skills, dummy.

Ironically though, it’s his mindless vents that get the most number of notes.

It helps that the pics include him, a very cute... I mean... manly boy screaming at very, very hot men.

A bit baffled but whatever it takes to get commissions. 

That’s right, he takes them. At least there is a back-up option should the restaurant ever go out of business. 

Spoiler Alert: Still doesn’t get paid as much. People, have you seen the number of talented artists here? Aoi might be in the rankings but it’s still hard attracting business.

Support your fandom artists, everyone!

Ginnojo

1000 followers. Just nice.

Ginnojoz

Poor grandpa didn’t intend to put that extra ‘z’ letter, it was a typo because scales don’t get along with haptic touch. 

And unfortunately, doesn’t understand how to change it. 

Once, he was huge on Vine before it died. The end of an era that he has to witness again. RIP.

Gin-Gin, it is RIGHT. THERE.

Expect to find his super short self-defence videos and Book Club Readings on YouTube.

Girls actually appreciate his instructions and attempts to provide help even if they are alone. 

He did try to respond to the nice ones and actually succeeds. 

It’s always easier getting to know the language of women when you don’t really see/touch them.

A deep baritone is perfect for some sexy excerpt of a historical novel... 

Until he corrects the setting.

In fact, he sometimes rage-quits and rewrites it. 

Unlike Kuya, him doing those established ideas actually catches on. 

Yura and Gaku

1500 followers.

MelodyandTheBeat. 

... Tik-tokers. Tik-Tok people? 

WTH do you call them?

As you can see, they are the most popular since it’s combined stardom.

Look, their covers and music mixes are beautiful.

They always have their own version that somehow combines traditional Japanese music... with k-pop.

And of course, food porn. 

Just be grateful there isn’t that awful squelching sound you hear when you consume jelly or the breaking of chilli seeds. 

Listen, I usually separate them because it’s never nice to be grouped as having the same activity as your twin. 

But in this case, being both equally beautiful AND talented sells their uploads. 

Even the cringy ones made because Yura is such a Luddite. 

Like just turning his head and being amazed his hair can turn so many colours, being impressed with each tilt until he gets to a black shade. 

Suddenly hurls the phone away. Gee, wonder why? Guess black isn’t the new... black for him?

Gaku sometimes even introduces new filters he created based on Yura’s random requests that strangely get circulated on the site. 

Oji

550 followers all know Oji-Sanz

Unlike Ginnojo, he deliberately adds the ‘z’ letter to sound cool.

You wanna know what’s worse? 

He actually uses Facebook. 

Aoi decides to give up on him. Nobody blames the poor student.

It’s apparently some old form of social media? Never used it, no sirree. 

Always changing his relationship status but at the end of the day, he’s single and ready... 

To post about all the lovely ladies destined to enter his restaurant. 

He thinks it’s great publicity. 

It really isn’t but one good thing about Oji is he includes EVERYONE.

This man respects his customers and always helps advertise their wares, especially if their connections lead to more resources. 

And less grocery shopping on his part.

Does post the recipes he and Aoi created but will never use because the Milk Hall had a certain style to follow.

Officially makes Aoi his son... on Facebook at least. 

Aoi now tolerates the account. 

Barely. 

Toichiro Yuri

WhatheMeSay has 1231 followers! 

In your face @CapitalKayKay and @NevermorebutSnore!!

You know, I’m so glad that there aren’t any users with those names because I’d be so scared of accidentally tagging them.

Also, geddit? Because... What the fox say? 

Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding... yeah, I’ll stop.

Pinterest Guy. And actually does spend on his ‘hobby’ to show off to everyone.

It does boost you and your father’s sales so there is nothing to complain about. 

His boards are always alliterated just to sound super catchy and it works so long as he gets the right emoji. 

Kabuki plays better be promoted or else.

Filled with candid pictures of his victims all taken at different angles you didn’t know were possible and in varying degrees of hilariously misunderstood positions.

He even supplies a donation link, heavily leveraged by his followers, since there are incentives tied to it like early access.

A bit suspicious the photos look like cropped out parts from Koga’s posts and some of the text resembles Kuya’s... er... wisdom?

He takes an unholy amount of selfies when he thinks no one is looking and so they are always surprised upon finding them on the Selfie Board. 

There is a locked board that no one can access, even his followers who are his comrades in real life. 

It’s actually just one picture in there. 

It’s you smiling and giggling at a joke of his. Not even you know it’s been taken. Guess he is as soft as his fur, eh? He better come out soon or else.

Kuro

Kuroruohtumbling

Ginnojo is unfortunately just old enough to have grown up with Scooby-Doo to understand the reference.

Snapchat, like a snapping snake! Hiss!

Unironically loves the puppy face.

Ok, but the glimpses of his stunts help show snippets of the circus life. 

He and his whole troupe family will even don costumes best suited for certain filters.

Sometimes ropes in Ginnojo... and by sometimes, I mean enough for everyone to start wondering if the stoic man is part of the act. 

To be fair, he randomly hugs people and ranks them here.

You, of course, were number 1. 

Now, if only he didn’t use the bloody song to announce it but you forgive him.

Maybe even risks revealing his ayakashi form before deleting the message to you.

Loves making international fans and learning various languages through each post, sort of like flashcards but animated and more fun!

And with 1200 followers, he might become a polyglot like Koga.

Shizuki 

Everyone bans him from creating one. 

Because they know the power of his roasts is too great. 

Little do they know he goes undercover. 

Underground.

And under their noses.

That’s right. His rant town on... MySpace. 

Unapologetically uses a good chunk of his salary from serving the House of Yuri just to get nifty themes that help with the whole burning process. 

Look, there’s a reason he and Oji are friends. 

This is why. 

Their taste in women seems fine but we really have got to do something about their affinity towards DEAD PLACES.

To be fair, he made the whole thing drunk but that doesn’t mean he should maintain it SOBER.

He just feels that it is a waste of space if he doesn’t utilize it. 

And it also becomes kind of cathartic. From the intrusive hugs to his master and Sir Gaku irking each other to no end, he needs it. 

Zero followers... but only because it’s super private. 

It becomes 1 the moment you jokingly create an account. 

[aurora077]

Hermione’s Moment

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13181660/1/Hermione-s-Moment

It was hard, keeping it a secret from her friends. Hermione felt like twirling around and shouting it to the world. She had to keep fighting the grin that rose unconsciously to her face whenever anyone mentioned him (and Ron mentioned him a lot). But she knew that she had to. Nobody would believe her (And if they did she certainly didn’t want his fans to go all manic on her).

Well, at least the boys wouldn’t believe her (Ginny on the other hand had been terribly excited for her. She couldn’t have hidden it from everyone or she was sure she would spontaneously combust). They hadn’t even registered she was supposedly free for the ball. They were scrambling about like headless chickens, searching for someone to go to the ball with. They’d been through a list of all the girls at Hogwarts that they knew or had classes with, but not once did they consider asking her, their supposed best friend. In fact, they were so worried about their own dates, they never even bothered to ask her if there was anyone she was going with or wanted to go with. It made her a bit upset quite frankly.

They were her best friends. But sometimes, it seemed like they didn’t consider her much. Even if they didn’t think to ask her themselves, they still could have been worried about if she had a date as well (like they were currently doing for each other). However she didn’t even cross their minds. It was quite pathetic to think about really. It was times like this that Hermione wondered if it would be better to try and branch out and make other friends as well, except, well, she was never very good at making friends in the first place.

Which is why it took her completely by surprise when Krum –no, Viktor, asked her of all people to the ball. She spent most of her time in the library doing work and research to help Harry, you know, one of said best friends who didn’t have the time to think about her even though she stood by him the entire time as opposed to other said best friend, (no she wasn’t bitter about being left out at all). She had no idea how Viktor had even seen her behind all the books she had stacked around her (and the hordes of giggling girls flocking around him). But seen her he had. As it turns out, most surprisingly at that, Viktor Krum was shy. He told her he had had to work up the courage to come talk to her. And there she was hating on him because his presence brought the annoying army of fans to the library where they proceeded to completely disrupt her concentration. It made her feel like a right jerk. But also completely fluttery inside.

She felt like something out of a muggle fairytale had just happened. Because though fangirl she was not, she was very aware of the fact that this was an international Quidditch star. Ron couldn’t shut up about him after all, so she was certainly acquainted with his accomplishments. So an internationally famous Quidditch star asked her, Hermione Granger, to the Yule Ball. Which he was attending as a champion. In other words he asked the girl most people ignored to open the ball with him as his partner. Well, most people other than Cormac McLaggen who seemed to have been making his way over to her a few times, presumably to ask her to be his date. But she deftly avoided him....much as she might have wanted a date, she’d rather have none than have to spend the entire ball listening to him going on and on about himself. It didn’t matter how handsome he was, he was so self-absorbed it was sickening. Viktor on the other hand had been nervous and shy, nothing like she would have expected him to be (Cormac probably used up the quota of arrogance.) It was difficult to say no to such a humble request. He had asked her quite nicely if she would do him the honour of accompanying him to the ball. Except he stuttered and fumbled with his English which she actually thought was quite adorable. (She spent the rest of the day with him in a secluded corner of the library trying to help him with his pronunciation at his red-faced request since he had been having trouble with her name.)

The Triwizard Tournament had suddenly meant more than just the dangerous competition that could get her best friend killed. (Which she hadn’t forgotten about no matter what Ron would later suggest). She actually had something to look forward to. She had figured if nobody asked her she would ask Ginny to go with her as a friend since the girl wouldn’t have been able to go otherwise. Ginny was buzzing with excitement for her and didn’t mind that she couldn’t go with Hermione because Neville, poor sweet Neville, had asked her to go with him after Hermione turned him down in potions. She had never considered that he might ask to be honest but she was glad that it worked out and that both Ginny and Neville got a date out of it.

She didn’t mind keeping it a secret from most people since Ginny knew who she was going with so they could talk about it together, though she did have to stop herself from skipping through the halls or people would get suspicious. She was just so ecstatic! She’d been spending some more time with Viktor lately and he was so sweet it made her heart melt. She’d never imagined someone would take an interest in her, especially not someone like him. If her own friends couldn’t even be bothered with her, why would anyone else? She was never so happy to be proven wrong. The only downside was that they would have to meet in secret because neither of them wanted to be interrupted by his fans. In fact, he told her that he loved Quidditch and was happy that the people liked him, but that he’d really appreciate some privacy in his life. He wasn’t fond of fame, much like Harry in a way. He just wanted to do what he loved and make his country proud. And he liked to read! Certainly not as much as she did, but casual reading was better than no reading at all. He listened to her and paid attention to her interests. In turn, he knew he could trust her enough to talk to her about himself without it getting out to the press. He couldn’t spend as much time with her as either of them liked though because like it or not there was a deadly tournament looming over the heads of the champions, previously affecting one person she cared about, and now it was two. She didn’t help him since she was still loyal to Hogwarts and Harry. It was a competition after all. But then again they didn’t talk much about the competition anyway.

For the first time in her life she could say she felt wholly like a girl. Viktor made her feel special and appreciated in a way nobody else in her life had. It made her giddy. She was looking forward to the ball, and despite the fact that they were from different countries, she was hoping to keep him in her life in some form or the other. She wasn’t silly enough to think they would get married and have 10 kids and a white picket fence, but she did acknowledge that at this point she’d be open to a relationship with him. Even if that didn’t work out, he’d be a valuable friend. He was already a better friend in some ways than her current male companions. She cared for them of course, and she knew they cared about her, but she definitely didn’t feel it sometimes.

“Hermione..” someone snapped their fingers in front of her and she jumped.

“I’ve called your name 5 times already, but you were in lala land,” Ginny said, laughing at her surprise.

“Oh sorry Gin, I was just thinking,” she said.

“Yeah, I know you were,” Ginny smirked, “I bet I know about what too.”

“Oh hush,” she blushed.

“Anyyyway, I came to tell you we’re going dress shopping!” Ginny said excitedly.

“We are?”

“Yes! We’ll just pop on over to Gladrags in Hogsmeade. Of course mine will probably be second-hand but no worries! It is going to be your night!” Ginny insisted.

And for once, she had to agree. It was going to be her night. Whether anyone else knew it yet or not.

[thedietian]

30 Day No Alcohol Challenge – 30 Day No Alcohol Challenge

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I Went from Fat and Broke to Hosting SportsCenter on ESPN by Making One Simple Change… Take The 30-Day No Alcohol Challenge And Change Your Life

As a bonus for holding your spot now, we will also send you a free guide on how to socialize without drinking. Your free guide will be sent immediately to your inbox.

Next Challenge Begins Monday  12/4…

WHAT PEOPLE IN THE 30 DAY NO ALCOHOL CHALLENGE ARE SAYING

It’s about a normal guy who drank alcohol.

A few glasses of wine during the week after work to relax. Some beer on the weekends with friends. A few drinks when celebrating birthdays, weddings, anniversaries and watching football games.

It was social drinking. Fun.

He didn’t have an alcohol problem or got into trouble.

But it was part of his routine. 

Over time, he put on 20lbs (9kg). A beer belly hung over his belt buckle.

His face looked puffy and weathered.

He wasn’t sleeping well and always felt tired, sluggish, irritable.

He liked his job but didn’t love it. His relationships were ok but not amazing. 

He was merely existing. Not thriving. Not happy.

The man in the story is me.

On March 10, 2010, I went for a ‘hangover breakfast’ at the International House of Pancakes (IHOP), after a fun night at the South by Southwest festival.

Everything made me feel nauseous. The big, bright, bold colors on the IHOP menus. The sights and smells of greasy, unhealthy food.

I felt rock bottom so made the instant decision to go 30 days alcohol-free: a personal bet to test my self-discipline.

The first two weeks were hard. When I went out with friends and ordered water, they gave me a hard time. “You’re un-Australian!” they’d say.

But I survived those two weeks. I felt better, slept better and had more mental clarity.

After 30 days, I’d lost an incredible 13lbs (5.9kg) of fat around my stomach. Just from stopping drinking.

I had more money in the bank. My skin looked considerably better, and I enjoyed getting out of bed for early morning exercise.

“Bugger it. I feel great,” I said to myself. “Just keep going and see how far you can go.” Little did I know just how far I would go.

After 60 days, I craved a cold beer. Or a red wine. Or a Bombay Sapphire gin and tonic with a dash of lime.

When it was hot outside, I started dreaming, “I could smash a cold beer right now!” But I breathed deeply, downed some water, and the feeling passed.

After three months, I felt terrific. I’d dropped a few more pounds of fat and started to put on lean muscle in the gym. People complimented me on how good I looked.

Despite not drinking, I still managed to have wildly entertaining nights out – even with my drunken friends slurring their words around me.

I could be the life of the party, and no one would notice that I wasn’t drinking.

I could still burn the midnight oil until 5 am but didn’t want to: nothing good happened after1 am, anyway.

When I told women I wasn’t drinking, far from them thinking I was an alcoholic in recovery, they were impressed with my self-discipline. Conversations became more meaningful.

“Beautiful,” I thought. “I can stop drinking and still be fun, entertaining and attractive to women.”

Guys were always suspicious of my story, thinking that I was an alcoholic in recovery.

Some idiots even tried to slip vodka into my water.

It was part of the test. I just smiled, pointed to my head and said, “I’m too strong in mind.”

I was then up at 8 am on weekends to hit the gym. I’d showered, had breakfast and was ready to tackle the day by 11 am when my mates were just dragging their lazy, hungover backsides out of bed.

Between three and six months I was in the zone. I felt energetic and healthy. I thrived on telling people I had temporarily stopped drinking.

Six to 12 months was fairly easy, but here I noticed the most dramatic changes.

My relationships became considerably better – romantic and platonic. I constantly thought, “How can I help others, rather than how can they help me?”

I became calmer and made better decisions.

My work productivity soared. 

More opportunities – like an ESPN audition to host SportsCenter – came my way. When it did, I had clarity and energy to win the gig and host SportsCenter for two years.

When I reached the personal milestone of one year without drinking, I found myself back in Austin at South by Southwest. I went to a pub, ordered a Budweiser, and put it to my mouth.

I had every intention of drinking that beer. But something stopped me from taking a sip. I paused and thought about it for a minute.

I decided that all the pros of not drinking outnumbered the cons. So I said to myself, “I’ll just keep going.”

So I did. I put the Budweiser down and haven’t picked up a drink since.

I’m 20lbs (9kg) lighter today than I was when I started my 30 Day No Alcohol Challenge. I’m 38lbs (17kg) lighter than when I was at my heaviest.

Drinking kept fat around my waist. Stopping drinking eliminated it. This is likely due to three main things:

1. Alcohol contains a lot of empty calories.

2. Drinking makes you eat a lot more food, especially junk like fries and desserts.

3. Quitting drinking gives you the energy to be more active.

You don’t need to quit drinking entirely like I did. But my story clearly shows some of the positive benefits of even a 30-day break from alcohol.

Feel better, look better, lose weight, save money and have better relationships.

Now, that’s a cocktail.

30 DAY NO ALCOHOL CHALLENGE

After my success, my friends started asking me how I looked so good.

So I decided I had to create a more formal 30-day challenge.

So that’s what I did. I put everything I learned about breaking habits, staying self-disciplined, losing weight, making money, staying the course of 30 days into one system.

One system to help people break their reliance on alcohol.

One system that stays with you all along the 30 days.

I call that system, the “30-Day No Alcohol Challenge”.

As a bonus for holding your spot now, we will also send you a free guide on how to socialize without drinking. Your free guide will be sent immediately to your inbox.

CHANGE OCCURS AMONG OTHER PEOPLE

When you sign up for my challenge, you automatically get access to my exclusive closed “30 Day No Alcohol Challenge” Facebook group. Here, you will find hundreds of other people supporting you in your challenge.

Don’t rely on brute willpower alone. Let other people support you. In the New York Times best-seller “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg, it says people only change when “there were embedded in social groups that made change easier.”

“When people join groups where change seems possible, the potential for that change to occur becomes more real. For most people who overhaul their lives, there are no seminal moment of life-altering disasters. There are simply communities who make change believable.

Put simply, “Change occurs among other people.”

As a bonus for holding your spot now, we will also send you a free guide on how to socialize without drinking. Your free guide will be sent immediately to your inbox.

JOIN OUR CHALLENGE AND TRY 30 DAYS WITHOUT ALCOHOL

Test it. See how you feel.    See if it works for you.

After 30 days, you can decide to stay quit.

Or reduce your alcohol intake from there.

If you’re happy drinking, keep drinking.

I love to drink a six-pack of beer and a bottle of red with the best of them.

I’m sure I’ll do it again one day.

But for now, I’m happy with water and soda and feel like I am the best version of me.

WHAT 30 DAY NAC MEMBERS ARE SAYING IN OUR GROUP

CELEBRITIES AND ENTREPRENEURS WHO QUIT OR REDUCED ALCOHOL

Billionaire Donald Trump says: “I don’t drink, and it’s very easy for me not to drink. I tell people, ‘What are you drinking for?’ And they don’t even understand what I’m saying.”

Warren Buffett says: “It’s the weakest link that causes the problem. It may be alcohol, it may be gambling, it may be a lot of things. It may be nothing, which is terrific. But it is a real weakest link problem.”

Steve Jobs, Apple Founder and CEO, didn’t drink. He was a part of President Obama’s Technology Summit dinner. In the much-circulated photograph of the group’s dinnertime toast, Jobs is holding a glass of water.

Tyra Banks, Model and Media Mogul says: “I feel like I’ve been very lucky because I don’t really have an addictive personality. I had a little taste of alcohol when I was 12 years old, but that’s about it.”

Jennifer Lopez, Singer, Actress, Media Icon, says: “I think that ruins your skin. Of course, during celebratory toasts, everybody’s like, ‘You can’t toast with water!’ So I’ll toast with alcohol and just take a sip.”

Larry Ellison, Cofounder and CEO of Oracle; No. 5 on Forbes’ list of The World’s Billionaires, says: “I can’t stand anything that clouds my mind. … I have no problem with people drinking; I have no problem with people smoking dope. If that’s what they want to do, God bless them, that’s their business. But I can’t do those things.”

Joe Manganiello: “There was a period of about four years where I needed to quit drinking. And the drinking got in the way [of my career]. It was one of those obstacles that I had to get over and once again I needed to clear the road in order for these things to happen, so it really is an inside job. I had to clean up my act and figure that whole situation out. I haven’t drunk in over 11 years. My life was ruined. I was homeless, careless and broke with no career, so yes, it was worth it [to get sober].”

Soccer star Cristiano Ronaldo does not drink: “I avoid alcohol. Make sure you stay hydrated. Drinking water is so important.”

Singer and record producer Calvin Harris says he quit drinking after a series of incidents: “I gave up drinking because bad things happened. Things that you just think: ‘I really shouldn’t have done that.’ There have been lots of gigs when I’ve looked back and gone: ‘Oh, it was on television, a lot of people saw that, and I was totally inebriated.’ I’ve had the best year of my life not drinking, it’s been great.”

YOUR SATISFACTION IS GUARANTEED

TRY OUT THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE & VIP COACHING CALLS AT JAMES’S RISK FOR A FULL 30 DAYS

As a bonus for holding your spot now, we will also send you a free guide on how to socialize without drinking. Your free guide will be sent immediately to your inbox.

OMG! I absolutely adore you, James Swanwick! You are absolutely correct, there are no excuses anymore. Thank you for doing this! You have no idea how much it has helped me and inspired me. My life has changed so much for the better since coming across your No Alcohol Challenge

You’ve inspired me, James – thank you from the cockles of my heart. I was alcohol free for nearly 2 years & felt ALIVE. I then turned to wine for comfort. 2 years later I’m ready to say goodbye to this old friend. Thank you for the inspiration you don’t even know you’ve stirred in me. Thank you so much!

Day 31! It is accomplished! Delighted that I went the full 30 days. Thanks James, for the help in kickstarting a new personal change and development effort. Amazing what can happen after going without alcohol for just one month!

“A big thank you to everyone in facebook group and James for doing this 30 Day No Alcohol Challenge . This has really changed a lot of things in my life. For the past decade I have been destroying my body every weekend. So this has been a breath of fresh air honestly. My skin looks a lot better. I used to have these little bumps under my eyes. Now they are virtually gone. I am way more productive. I am finding ways to do all kinds of things I didn’t know existed before. It’s wild. And one of the coolest things is I have a lot better control over my emotions. Things that used to bum me out in the past just don’t really bum me out anymore. I can see the importance of certain things much easier now. I want to say thank you very much. I finished my 30 Day No Alcohol Challenge on Easter. It’s been an incredible ride. And hey, if you’re still doing it, keep going! You are going to find out amazing things about yourself. Thanks again!”

DON: “We recently completed the 30 Day No Alcohol Challenge. When I first started, I was sceptical. I didn’t think 30 days would be enough to create any meaningful change. That was very surprising to me. The 30 Day No Alcohol Challenge turned out to be more than enough for us to reset and create new habits for ourselves. It’s given us a new perspective on how alcohol fits into our lives. And making that commitment to spend money to join the program made a big difference for me. I really participated in the initial exercises and I looked forward every day to receiving James’s videos on my iPhone. They kept me inspired to finish and there was no question I was going to finish this program. We are going to the gym more often, going to bed earlier, everything seems to be going better for us. Thank you for putting this program together, James. It’s awesome!

SYLVIE: I initially started to support Don but it helped me understand a couple of things about myself and alcohol and how I don’t need it to have a good time at a party. It was very helpful for us and for me and our relationship. And we saved a lot of money!”

“I feel amazing after completing the 30-Day No Alcohol Challenge. Not only has my sleep improved, but my mental clarity and energy has skyrocketed! My weekends are no longer spent tired, irritable, and foggy, but instead, vibrant, productive and happy! My overall health has improved and my workouts have been more energetic. This challenge is for anyone, regardless of how much alcohol you drink (daily, weekly, or monthly). Abstaining or limiting your alcohol intake for 30 days can have huge benefits on your overall health, wellness, your relationships and especially your sleep habits. I would recommend James Swanwick’s program to anyone who wants to reclaim their weekends, and live a happy, vibrant and more productive life.”

As a bonus for holding your spot now, we will also send you a free guide on how to socialize without drinking. Your free guide will be sent immediately to your inbox.

So right now I want to find amazing people out there who want to get back on track.

This page you’re reading right now is like my personal ‘radar’. It’s a way to send out a signal and see if I can locate just a few of you. Those of you with big dreams.

Because let’s face it. If you felt like everything was ok with your life right now, you wouldn’t be reading this.

You’re still reading because maybe you haven’t got what you wanted in life. And maybe the alcohol is one of the reasons or No. 1 reason.

Maybe you’re sick of waking up each morning with a hangover. Maybe you’re sick of feeling like you’ve made a fool of yourself out on the drink, maybe you said the wrong thing and it’s affected a friendship or a relationship.

Maybe you got so drunk one night and made a complete ass of yourself. Maybe you know you’re hanging out with the wrong crowd.

Or you’re not very ambitious.

Or you have a bad relationship with your family and only have a few friends.

Maybe you’re not the type of husband material you thought you were.

Or the wife you want to be.

Or the boyfriend or girlfriend.

Maybe you’re a guy and you feel dependent on drinking to be able to get up the courage to approach a girl.

Or you’re spending a ridiculous amount of money on drinking and drinking-related activities that you can’t afford to pay rent, or invest for the future.

Maybe you feel like you’re fat or overweight or drinking makes you have to force yourself out of bed in the morning.

Or you feel that peer group pressure to drink in order to be one of the boys, or one of the girls.

Or you feel like you have to drink to fit in. Or you just hate hangovers. They’re the worst right?

When you join the 30 Day No Alcohol Challenge, you’ll discover how to do this – how to actually take a break for 30 days. And your life is going to change.

Imagine waking up in the morning and springing out of bed, rather than dragging your arse out of the bed in the morning.

Actually getting 7 or 8 hours uninterrupted sleep.

People will say to you, “Man, your skin looks good. Have you been working out?’

Imagine how different your life will become with better relationships.

Imagine true love from your partner.

Or if you’re single, being able to finally attract a better mate.

A higher quality of mate. Rather than picking up drunk girls or drunk guys and waking up in a stupor, you’re able to attract a partner with your conversation and your positivity and your health.

Or doing it for your kids.

You want to be closer to your kids?

Give up the booze for 30 days and watch how much closer you get to them.

When you save money, think of the financial stress you’re not going to have.

Research shows that 80% of all marriages end because of financial stress.

Not being able to pay the bills or have the good things a prosperous life offers is absolute poison for a relationship.

But with some extra money in the pocket, from saving money, and from being able to focus on money-making activities, you’ll be full of abundance and prosperity.

And have better relationships.

You can save money towards a big house in a beautiful neighborhood; traveling the world, or providing the best education and opportunities for your children, being able to help your friends and family who are less well off than you, or changing the world, taking a break from alcohol is going to make you more money.

That’s what you will experience when you do the 30-day No Alcohol Challenge.

THESE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO’VE SUCCESSFULLY TAKEN THE 30 DAY NO ALCOHOL CHALLENGE AND / OR HAVE REDUCED OR QUIT DRINKING

JOIN JAMES SWANWICK AS HE GUIDES YOU WITH A DAILY VIDEO PROGRAM TO SHOW YOU THE WAY TO 30 DAYS WITHOUT ALCOHOL AND THE POWER IT CAN HAVE IN TRANSFORMING YOUR HEALTH, WEALTH, LOVE AND HAPPINESS

As a bonus for holding your spot now, we will also send you a free guide on how to socialize without drinking. Your free guide will be sent immediately to your inbox.

I’LL SEND YOU A DAILY VIDEO LESSON

Once you start, you will receive a daily video lesson from me, delivered to your email inbox.

You simply open the email, watch the short video I’ve recorded for you, and you stay on track.

I don’t let you figure it out on your own.

I’m with you all along the way.

These daily emails will keep you motivated, make sure you don’t get sidetracked and inspire you to stay the course.

AND you’ll also be part of a community of other people doing their 30-day no alcohol challenges.

Alright, so right now, you have an important decision to make. Most likely one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make. One that could have a dramatic effect on not only your love and social life, but also your mental well being. What it comes down to is this.

You can go on from here alone and keep doing what you’ve been doing all along the same way before you found this page, continuing to experience the frustrations and challenges that brought you here in the first place.

Or you can click the link below right now and get access to The 30-Day No Alcohol Challenge system. The system for getting back on track.

Do it now because at any moment, it will be closed forever and never mentioned again. Obviously, I can’t make the decision for you.

But I honestly believe everything happens for a reason and it’s no accident you’re here right now watching this.

Go ahead and give it a try.

You risk nothing and you’re fully guaranteed to make more money, lose weight, sleep better and have better relationships.It’s really that simple. I wouldn’t make this promise if I wasn’t absolutely sure it would work for you.

When you click the button below, you can feel confident that you will finally start getting the life that you truly deserve. Go ahead, right now, click the button below and just enter your information on the secure 256-bit SSL encrypted form on the next page.

Your information is 100% confidential and you will enjoy full privacy inside our instant access membership area.

Soon, you’ll look back on this moment as a crucial turning point in your life. Everything is going to change and you’ll never have to be alone again.

Never again will you feel the pain of rejection.

Right now, everything changes. When you get your first success, go ahead and send me an email. Or post about it in the closed facebook group.

Nothing makes me happier than seeing the transformation I can help make in people’s lives. Click the button below to get started. Thank you for reading. I look forward to seeing you in the program.

As a bonus for holding your spot now, we will also send you a free guide on how to socialize without drinking. Your free guide will be sent immediately to your inbox.

Click here to get 30 Day No Alcohol Challenge – 30 Day No Alcohol Challenge at discounted price while it’s still available…

All orders are protected by SSL encryption – the highest industry standard for online security from trusted vendors. 30 Day No Alcohol Challenge – 30 Day No Alcohol Challenge is backed with a 60 Day No Questions Asked Money Back Guarantee. If within the first 60 days of receipt you are not satisfied with Wake Up Lean, you can request a refund by sending an email to the address given inside the product and we will immediately refund your entire purchase price, with no questions asked.

The post 30 Day No Alcohol Challenge – 30 Day No Alcohol Challenge appeared first on The Dietian.

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[tottblog]

Snatched out of Brooklyn, New York before my youth, Georgia and I haven’t had the greatest relationship. But I’ve discovered hope in Atlanta. One of the things I’ve come to do at least once every time I return- with the exception of this trip- is breakfast at West Egg Café. I’m a fan of their mastery of the basics and their willingness to switch it up, keeping it fresh. My brother, Rich, will even go as far as to say that they not only have the best coffee, but also the best water in Atlanta. But this time, we spent our time at the table of Morningside Kitchen, right outside of Midtown.

Refreshments

As we pulled up, I straightened up my slouching posture, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings, the strip of storefronts to my left and to my right, with Morningside protruding on the end of the strip. Out of the cold, misty outdoors and into the bustling restaurant. It was a refreshing new atmosphere. I was glad to have visited a restaurant I hadn’t been to, especially because I assumed I was headed somewhere else altogether. The place looked promising, its outside with the feeling of a town with its narrowing streets and nearby neighbors joined by their brick façade. Beneath a shingled awning the door opened to an array of smiles with a friendly and sunny ambience, never minding the drizzle outside.

My mood was brightened all the more with the discovery of family I didn’t know would be joining us. Some of my family gathered to wish me a happy birthday. Actually, I thought it was just a farewell. I found my Rich at the bar, the sound of champagne flowing from his flute. He was drinking a gingermosa. My initial thought was gin and orange juice. I’m not so cocktail savvy yet. He ordered me one too,- ginger beer and champagne- a more mature, mellow flavor. We continued to the table to examine the menu. It looked pretty good: hashes, “benedicts”, cakes, and more. The prices were fairly decent too. I looked at their brunch starters and wanted to get something that could be shared. I heard the smoked salmon rilletes were good but the shakshouka– poached eggs, with peppers, onions, tomatoes, smoked paprika, and grilled toast- was intriguing. They were out of rilletes making my choice that much simpler. Someone else at the table ordered the cool dip trio of hummus, eggplant and roasted green pepper dips served with grilled pita and sliced carrots and radish.

The shakshouka arrived with a couple pieces of crispy toast, or maybe croutons, the tomatoes et al in a ceramic dish with two poached eggs on its surface. The flavors weren’t very complex but the trios offerings were much more satisfying. I enjoyed the “Rotisserie chicken” sensation of the hummus- rich with herbs and spice. I liked the green pepper too, attracted to its sweet flavor. It’s flavor lasted much longer than the pita, or the bread from my shakshouka, eating the rest with my spoon. The remaining dip was taken to-go.

We’d now await our entrees. I ordered a short rib hash with avocado and poached eggs draped with sauce choron– a tomato variant of hollandaise- subject to the recommendation of our server; if he knew of a tastier dish, I was having that; but he gave me the go ahead. The short ribs were pleasantly tender but that was the most excitement found in the dish. I wished for greater depth of flavor and diversity of texture. I understand it was a hash but even a quick kiss on the face of a flaming cast iron would done fine. And I was suspicious of the avocado mash, wishing for slices. My sister ordered the rotisserie chicken hash-full of flavor but feeling, to her, like mash in the mouth.

Oh and I also ordered a side of their cheddar-gouda grits for the sake of comparison; West Egg’s grits, so far, are the only grits in the world that Rich eats. Morningside didn’t change that. They lacked the supple, creamy, custard like feel that I’ve experienced at West Eg- Just missing something.

So Morningside Kitchen.

Good start to start the day? Or wrong side of the bed? Fair selection of cocktails. Ok food. But better company! Also our server wasn’t bad. He was spread thin but made great effort to remedy that, attending to our needs and accommodate my comedic brothers silly requests with patience. If you go knowing what to expect, you won’t be upset. I could whip these up in my kitchen on any late morning with no problem, however- though me and the poached eggs don’t always get along. But brunch isn’t there mainstay so I’d give them a chance for dinner service but will continue to hail the West Egg as the breakfast spot of Atlanta until you show me otherwise. If you beat me to Morningside Kitchen for dinner, won’t you let us know how it is? Know any where else to find a great breakfast in The greater Atlanta area?

Brunch in Atlanta: Morningside Kitchen Snatched out of Brooklyn, New York before my youth, Georgia and I haven't had the greatest relationship.