#because it would be. yknow. actual payoff to All That Shit

[felikatze]

sorry i found out i never gave fire emblem warriors back to my sibling so now i'm fucking thinking about birthright takumi again

the whole explanation. about why he's Like That in conquest. is that he. tripped into the bottomless canyon offscreen. it's just to incredible to me. it's only explained in BR that this happened to him. he just fucking fell into the bottomless canyon because he got chased into a landslide.

and he and ryoma got separated IN THAT BATTLE right??? RIGHT??? so ryoma escapes the mokushu ambush. there are Options, here, all of which are so fucking funny

Option 1: Ryoma is unaware that his little brother fell into a fucking canyon. So Ryoma just goes "yeah takumi is probably fine" and goes on his merry way to cheve, utterly oblivious

Option 2: Ryoma is aware that Takumi is currently presumed dead, informed nobody of this, and just went "aw shucks" and carried on to Cheve.

Sorry i'm still just. amazed. blown away. incredibly amused by. His Whole Deal from conquest being explained in the unintentionally funniest fucking chapter of birthright. Azura literally could've stopped him in ch10 of Conquest and then none of that shit would have happened in that route but she was too busy singing for Niles so he could snipe more pegasi with the ballista. Otherwise she would've clocked the possession and stopped it.

Like. I'm sorry. in BR, takumi literally joins as an enemy unit. Yeah it's piss easy to recruit him because which fuckhead moron ISNT deploying azura, but you could, in theory, just either a) not sing for takumi or b) have azura already be dead on classic, so you kinda just either have to kill him (which also has to snap him out of it, because all the royals have plot armor), or are just fucked because that fujin yumi Kills.

I love takumi so much he's my favorite fates character. Do you understand. Firm believer he is Anankos' blorbo as well because you dont see him making Gunter the final boss of a whole campaign, now do you

[stellocchia]

Also. And I want to make it clear that I love cctechno.

I understand that he just wants to have fun. As all the other Cc's. He just has more fun not being too serious. That's fine. I want my Cc's to be comfortable and have their boundaries be respected.

But you can with cTechno it just...

Like. Take tubbo.

Cctubbo is uncomfortable rping mourning over his best friend. That's why we didn't get a funeral for Tommy during the exile (and Tommy crashing it which wouldve been hilarious)

And that's fine. He seems to have found a bit of middle ground now because he did some stuff after Tommy's prison death.

But. And this is important. It's part of his character. cTubbo copes with denial and focusing on work.

He did the exact opposite of writing himself into a corner by just doing what he does.

And techno also just kinda does. We can take these silly reactions to serious moments and make characterization out of it.

However. That characterization has him seem very apathetic and uncaring about people he's not very close with aka anyone but philza.

And that's fine. It's good. That's still a character, yknow.

The problem is that it's in complete contrast to what technoblade sees himself and portrays himself as. Techno gives himself the role of this tragic good guy doing bad things because they need to be done for the greater good.

Lmanberg had to disappear because government corrupts and tyranny is bad. He did it for the small people. He made the sacrifice of taking on that role. Of being the bad guy in everybody's eyes to protect them from government.

That's also good. A tragic... Anti hero? Is that what makes an antihero?

Anyways, again. That's interesting. Can be worked with. It's great.

But that coupled with his characterization just. It doesn't mix well. You COULD make it work. It'd take finesse and all that but if done right it would have a huge payoff. And even if he didn't stick the landing that'd still be ok.

But cctechno doesn't want to do that. He's not interested in that. And by God he doesn't have to I want that man to have fun and be comfortable.

But that just means his character keeps being fanonized by all sides

He can't be apathetic and not give a shit about what happens to people he's not close to but also do bad things for the people. It doesn't work. It's really weird and inconsistent.

Yeah. I don't have much to add to this, but 100% agreed.

I mean, by now there are a lot of people who just kinda take fanon Techno as canon when debating. The number of people who go "he's underplaying his emotions" or "he was actually really sad" in defense to him playing it like he didn't give a f*ck are doing exactly that. Like, we don't have any canon confirmation of that, no deep in character moment to show for that. It's a big thing to be missing and it's fine if cc!Techno is not comfortable with that, but maybe then he should not have written his character into the more serious lore that actually demands for a certain emotional involvement.

[ink-flavored]

Hi! 1, 2, 3, 4, 16, 20

Wow thank you so much!

1. Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

Depends on what you mean by "current" to be honest.

The fic that I have that's currently updating (on a hiatus, but yknow), Angle of Approach, is about how much trauma I can stuff into one character before he explodes a Classic Rich Douche Fuckboy type lying through his teeth to get dick from a guy who likes him genuinely, except said fuckboy's parents are abusive, his self-esteem is on the floor of Satan's wine cellar, and doesn't actually believe someone can "like" him """"genuinely."""" Progress has been slow (as I've been recovering from a wrist injury), but I'm REALLY excited to get into the next few chapters because that's when all the delicious character development happens. I just love... character development. People can change, and I love that for them. And the themes of blood family isn't necessarily your "real" family, breaking the cycle of abuse, all that good stuff.

My most recent idea that I've been obsessing over lately is from a dream I had, an original WIP idea about magic artifacts falling from the sky, their uses unknown, and a mage from a swamp village in the middle of nowhere having to battle classism in order to figure it the fuck out. Currently all I have for it is a document for notes and 90% of a map. It also has some lovely character development bits in it, as he befriends the prince of his country who is a lovable dumbass, but completely clueless as to what being poor entails.

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

There is a future project. That I have been dying to write in full for so long. Set in the 1920s with the MOB and CRIME AUGHUGh I LOVE PROHIBITION ERA SHIT. IT'S THE BEST.

Unfortunately, it's a mystery, and I have never written one of those. So it's a slow going.

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

Ehhh, I don't have a lot of these? I write my WIPs out of order and outline it later, so all of the stuff I've "always wanted to write" I just Do write. It honestly helps a lot with the structure of the story! All I have to do is connect the bits I already have.

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

Mmmm this is difficult... Recently I finished a one-shot (currently unpublished), and this bit is something I'm really proud of:

They didn’t share words or sweet nothings because there would be no point. They’d already told each other every secret. There were no promises left to make.

They were using each other, and letting themselves be used, one last selfish act of kindness.

16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

Well. I'm going to have to learn how to write smut eventually, considering what AOA is about, and what the tags promise. I have strategically avoided this. It's going to be Inter sting when I finally have to sit down and do it lmao.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

HRGH the problem with this is that so much of this is SPOILER TERRITORY!!! I've put so much foreshadowing in AOA and I ANXIOUSLY AWAIT the payoff, I am chomping at my bit to get there I'm REady.

Unfortunately, I am on chapter 7/27. So. There's that.

[send me a meta ask!]

[scene-it-all-before]

okay damn theres a fair few new releases that i havent talked about but would like to so im just gonna put em all in one big post :)

laura les- haunted: im pogging out so hard and im going off the wall going fucking nuts i love i love i love i love i love

chevelle- niratias: idk if i would say this is chevelle’s best work, necessarily, but i still enjoyed it pretty thoroughly. i like that the album has a point, yknow? a lot of bands that have been going for 20+ years kinda run out of shit to say, but the space theme sprinkled with some social commentary suits them nicely and makes the record feel like it really has a purpose for existing. overall, not a bad addition to their catalog!

bmth- can you feel my heart (jeris johnson remix) + mothica- can you feel my heart: heres the big ones. two new versions of cyfmh that have come of its newfound popularity on tiktok and people seem to be really pressed about both. the thing is, i dont really get why? if you just don’t like them, that’s fair. theyre certainly quite different from the original, and i myself don’t like either of them nearly as much as i do the original. but people seem to be actually mad at the band for these? if people on tiktok are enjoying the song and asking for more of it, then why are people mad at the band for giving them more?

as for the actual songs, i think they’re fun. i have mixed feelings on jeris johnson’s work, because i think his production is cool and his hooks are catchy, but i’m not a fan of his lyrics (or his voice, if i’m being totally honest). the remix is stuck in my head frequently and i enjoy listening to it even if it doesn’t compare with the original. as for mothica’s version, i think the added hook is the best part. it sounds cool, and offers a take on the song that feels fresh enough to justify its own existence, which a track like this kinda has to do. my main issue i take with it is that it’s so short, because cyfmh is a song that has build-ups and payoffs, and takes its time to let you feel the energy. this new version doesn’t have that. the chorus is crammed right next to the bridge and it ultimately feels like the song has been forced into a container too small for it. it’s not even just that i wish the song were longer, because i wouldn’t enjoy a loop of the chorus anymore than i enjoy the track the way it actually is. i wish the actual song structure was dragged out so that the song felt more full and satisfying to listen to. overall, though, i enjoy this one well enough as well.

couple quickies:

sion- the blade: i’ll be honest, i thought this was gonna be boring. i’ve grown somewhat tired of metalcore, since so much of it sounds the goddamn same, but howard and jared put together something nice here. jared plays nicely and i like his little solo. as for howard, what is there really to say? he’s howard fucking jones, and he sounds amazing because of course he does. basically, its a nice track, particularly if you’re already a fan of these guys. hopefully the other stuff they have cooking will be up to scratch.

emma blackery- crying: idk how many emma fans there are on this site but damn it im gonna talk about this anyway. i absolutely LOVED blossom, so when emma said that the new single wasn’t going to sound like it i was pretty disappointed but still willing to give it a chance. unfortunately, i’m not feeling it. it struck me as very simple and intrigueless, functional as a song but not offering a lot more than whats on the surface. maybe it will grow on me, but who knows.

thanks for reading!

[eclecticjace]

thoughts about the old guard (specifically joe and nicky)

ok so like. disclaimer time: one - its midnight and im sleepy and two - im a nonbinary transmasc lesbian not a gay man so yknow the things i feel are my own interpretations and you might feel differently BUT i gotta get some thoughts out about WHY yusuf and nicolo from the old guard (2020) are so important to me and how they've cut to my core as a gay person because. holy shit

a lot of lgb rep has surfaced in popular media recently (i havent seen much in the way of trans rep unfortunately, at least not representation i think is great but thats all my opinion), especially in cartoons. which is great! especially the canon lesbians i've seen! and i love cartoons and think any age can enjoy them but also. they're cartoons, and things are a little more simplified than what a rated r movie can have the potential to do.

not that the emotional payoff is necessarily better in any way, seeing canon wlw kiss onscreen set fire to my soul in the best way, but watching the old guard and seeing joe and nicky blew all of that out of the water

i was excited when i saw them cuddling on the train right before they dream about nile, but that excitement turned into something that felt very raw when joe gave his speech after he and nicky were captured

nicky and joe have a bond that runs so incredibly deep due to so many things and centuries of knowing each other but the line "he is not my boyfriend. this man is more to me than you can dream... he's all and he's more" really hust punched me in the gut in how. i can imagine if you are with someone for centuries it would feel that way regardless, but the fact that this is a gay couple makes me think about my own relationship and how my own girlfriend is more than that, i feel that our shared experience as lesbians and nonbinary people have bonded us in a way that if i were cishet i could not bond with my partner in the same way. even my relationships with my platonic friends who are gay feel so much deeper by nature of shared experience and how that connects us.

in cartoons, homophobia isn't really a factor, and for good reason. i'm tired of stories about homophobia and transphobia in my fantasy world, but the old guard handles it so well, it is not focused on except to point out that yusuf and nicolo are as in love as people can be and how those emotions are powerful

this feels incohesive and i could really talk about it for hours but just. yeah they're the first gay characters in media to actually get me introspective like this

[cozymochi]

How did Yamcha and Marzi reunite?

Short answer: Yamcha runs into her in a remote jungle thanks to rampaging dinosaurs.

Long answer: 

Okay okay, honestly I never told this story before because I couldn’t think of anything that worked properly ever, and yknow after a good 2ish years of having avoided really getting into that, I suppose now is as good a time as any to tie up this gaping loose end. And I’ll start by copying and pasting an icloud note I found that was written back in 2018 that detailed at least half of it, because at this point- I may as well go with this absurd thing instead of having nothing. Past me went into an outline about some kind of story setup but didn’t get to finish the “payoff” per se, because I suppose I thought I would come back to it and add more details later. BUT GUESS WHO DIDN’T BECAUSE I FORGOT??? SO, bear with me under this read more cut. 

(2018 OUTLINE NOTE)

Once upon a time fortuneteller baba held a day where she was telling peoples fortunes (amongst other shit) for free because she lost some kind of vague bet with Master Roshi. Thousands of people show up, and Yamcha is one of those people (along with pu’ar and yantan whom he dragged along). This occurs nearly 8 years after Yantan was spawned into existence.

Yamcha wants to ask Baba about love shit. Cuz oh boy. That love life still ain’t working out. But hell if he knows where to look maybe he’d have better luck. 

Yantan hates her life cuz waiting in line for like 10 hours is actual hell. But so long as she’s fucking there she might as well ask Baba something. Pu’ar is just along for the ride to make concerned quips. (He has nothing to ask he’s just there for moral support) 

MANY HOURS PASS THEY FINALLY REACH BABA and Baba is rightfully pissed. She could’ve been making a lot of money that day, like, the fuck man. Yamcha asks Baba if he’s destined to meet the girl he’d ultimately end up with. 

Baba just says “looks like you already met her.” And Yamcha is just like WAT And Baba is just like “Yeah. You already did. Don’t think u noticed tho. That’s ur own fault.” 

So at this point yamcha is pretty fuckin shook and asKS WHERE SHE’S AT NOW AND WHERE HE CAN MEET HER. And Baba jus denies answering that question and if he wants to ask more shit he better pay up a hundred million zeni. “NEXT.” 

Out of desperation, Yamcha now begs his cynical child to ask Baba about his own bs. Yantan doesn’t want to. They make some kind of deal that i do not know the details of as of yet that ultimately makes Yantan agree to waste her free question about her future on her wacky father. 

So SHE asks where tf Yamcha can meet this lady and Baba reveals her location. THEN THEY IMMEDIATELY FUCKIN LEAVE TO DO JUST THAT. And by “they” i mean Yamcha leaves and Yantan and Pu’ar have to follow behind. #Comedy

So Yamcha ends up in the general area of where this “person” is. It’s off putting a bit - and by a bit I mean A LOT because it’s a frickin’ jungle full of mega-flora and wild animals everywhere- totally the last place any person would be at all. Yamcha ultimately lets that slide. 

Yamcha suddenly freaks out at the realization that hE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT HE’S GONNA SAY and that he really didn’t think any of this through. What SHOULD even say? That he came all the way here to date this woman and come across some kind of weirdo or creep?? And if he already met this person WHEN DID HE MEET THEM? It could literally be any girl he’s ever met in his life. He doesn’t even know her name so how would he know who the right person is?? Amongst a fuckton of other million miles a minute thoughts. 

(2018 OUTLINE NOTE END)

When it comes to that specific set up prior to the jungle, idk if I still wanna follow it. But It’s something. 

Here comes my end of 2019 “I haven’t thought about this in eons” amendment: 

Leaving off of Yamcha’s panic attack I’m pretty sure he and Marzi run into each other via some kind of dinosaur hijinks. I’m pretty sure if memory serves Marzi was TRYING to feed dinosaurs as she usually does (she’s living her life after all), but for some reason on this day she had a technical failure. THIS would also have to serve as Marzi’s first proper introduction ever, so this event would also have to function as a way of establishing who she is as a character as well. God knows what that would entail.

Which, in this situation, she’d mostly come across as a person whose “eyes emoji” appearance doesn’t line up with being in an untamed jungle decking around with a carnivorous and predatory animal. 

The only reason Yams wouldn’t remember meeting her was because their actual first meeting was more of a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it encounter 30 years ago that wasn’t really relevant to his own memory. (Not even worth getting into here tbh, it’s so brief) So, y’know. Fuck you Baba.

It’s hard to say if Marzi herself would recognize Yamcha right away considering the last time she saw him, Yamcha was soft-faced with short hair and all cutesy 21st tournament looking, which THAT to NOW is quite the jump— but rest assured she does. It’s hard to say what her initial reaction would’ve been in response to suddenly running back into your one-sided high school infatuation after 3 decades of absolute radio silence. My mind always pictured some kind of comical reaction. 

Either way, this shit should happen only after the wacky hijinks, because!!! THAT’S THE KIND OF WORLD THIS IS! I wanted a bizarre action set piece that ends comedically quickly because Yamcha essentially has god powers. (WHICH, YEAH. HE DOES. Especially in comparison to how he was in early DB. By this point this guy went from above-average martial arts protégée to full on superhero) If I still had the energy for DB I would have scribbled a possible visual demonstration but, I really doooon’t jgvhgbkhjj

A wise man made this summarizing prediction really and I think this is the best thing to follow: 

“I sort of figured Marzi ran into him one day after everything kind of settled down and he wasn’t dead or in space or something, and there was an awkward period where she wasn’t sure what to do about him being so accessible. And Yamcha didn’t know her well to begin with, so to him she’s just an eligible bachelorette, and he fusses over how to impress her, because he has no idea that she’s been fascinated with him for decades.” - a wise man, 2019.

So yeah. That. 

[niennavalier]

Okay, belated Star Wars thoughts under the cut; no particular order, just as I think of them. Possibly some unpopular opinions, I dont really know, I'm not all that active in the SW fandom. So maybe I'll get roasted alive but...eh, whatever, this site is somewhere between an void and hell anyway.

Also SPOILERS BELOW (OBVIOUSLY)

[[MORE]]

Okay, so first things first: I enjoyed episode 9. A lot. It was really fun to watch, and just talking in terms of my experience in the theater, it was fantastic. It was so much fun to see the old crew back, all of those appearances were basically like happiness shots in the arm. It was really very cool. The Palpatine reveal and everything around it was pretty damn epic for the obvious reasons. And I absolutely loved seeing the trio bantering and arguing and passing each other - I always love stuff like that. I swear, just give me hours of good character interaction and I'll be happy. Kylo and Rey fighting together/him using the blue lightsaber was also some cool shit and basically like "yaasss heres the payoff for the entire trilogy let's fucking gooo"

Oh, and I need to mention that little droid that Rey fixes. That little guy was adorable and I want merch for him and I will not hear otherwise. (The droids are always great in all the movies fight me)

Also Zorii and Jannah. Badasses, loved watching them and the way they got to interact with the main cast. Just...wanna spill all the love for them in this sentence.

But there are a lot of other things I have to say about the movie - especially the more I think about it and the trilogy as a whole. Dont get me wrong; I still really loved watching the movie. There are just...certain things that feel like missteps or missed opportunities?

(Not counting how badly Oscar Isaac wanted Finn and Poe to be boyfriends, which I just discovered is a thing. And reminds me a lot of anytime anyone mentions Julian Bashir to Andy Robinson and his response is always "oh Garak wanted to have sex with him from the start". Which I literally love so much, this man is a treasure, and I'm glad that apparently the same thing is happening here. And it's not that I'm not gonna talk about it here cause I dont think Poe and Finn should've been boyfriends, but I'm pretty sure Oscar Isaac has much more to say about it than I do)

Gonna start where I always start when I have problems with writing: romance. Because IMO badly written/unnecessary romance can ruin any good story real quick. I'm talking about the kiss at the end. I'm not saying this to bash on the Rey and Kylo shippers. Generally, I dont care what you ship so long as you dont start harassing everyone else; I care even less when it comes to this fandom cause I just participate in it so little. So this isnt me bashing on the ship itself or the fans, but I just think that, in the context of the movie itself, the romance was really poorly handled. To the point that I saw the scene going that way and all I could think was "oh god please dont kiss, I'm begging you". And well...we all know where that went. But I just never got a romantic vibe from the two of them in terms of what was shown on screen. The chemistry always felt familial, at least to me, across episodes 8 and 9 in particular. I dont know if that's just the chemistry between the actors or what, but the tension between them never struck me as romantic - more like two people desperate for someone who understands the chaos around them, not lovers.

Again, granted, maybe that's just the way I read stuff, especially considering I really appreciate movies that don't feature romance arcs. I'm not sure how it read to other people, and I'm not gonna bash on the shippers who like it. I may feel like JJ Abrams didnt write a convincing romance - or just stuck the kiss in there at the end to fulfill some plan from episode 7 that didnt actually pan out - but I have no problem with the ship itself, or the people who ship it. (Because at the end of the day, this is all fiction, and I couldnt care less how anyone chooses to interact with it)

(And this isnt an entirely rated point but because I've seen it around:

In all honesty, I'm starting to think that the romance thing was just a symptom of a bigger problem with this trilogy: it doesnt feel cohesive. It's like JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson had two separate sets of notes and just refused to actually look between them. Two separate sets of ideas that they were too stubborn to compromise on.

And I have a feeling (at least, talking to my little brother, who definitely feels this way) that a lot of people are pinning this fragmented feel to the trilogy on Rian Johnson and The Last Jedi, but I honestly don't think that's fair. Because, and here's the unpopular opinion: I really don't think Last Jedi is that bad. At least, not bad enough to deserve all the flak it gets.

Won't get into that entirely here because that could be a whole separate post, but that's my opinion. Sure, it's not perfect, there are definitely a lot of parts that are pretty irrelevant and not really necessary, but that's true of everything. Frankly, its biggest problem was that it was written for the wrong audience. Which is a major problem, yes, but taken for what it is, it's perfectly decent. As I said before, I could write a whole thing on this movie and why it's not that bad (because I have my brother's points as to why it's terrible for me to argue against) but overall, my reading of 8 is that it's a movie meant to introduce wider ideas and concepts to the universe - particularly this very gray and murky area of morality and character - through stories that are closer to the characters and tied to harsher realities of war. Things aren't always black and white, people are complex, sometimes our heroes can be gravely wrong in ways that aren't glamorous.

Frankly, it feels somewhere between a super deep indie movie and Star Trek (particularly DS9, at least to me, because I love when that show gets to twisty moral stuff). So yeah, wrong audience, yet he decided to stick with his storytelling despite that. No matter I personally might fall into the audience that movie resonates with, it wasnt gonna resonate with most of the fandon.

Again, Last Jedi is far from perfect in other ways too, but it sets up some great ideas that I was really hoping to get some closure on. Honorable mention here is when Rose saves Finn when he's speeding out to sacrifice himself and because of the desire to save the people they love, which I always end up likening to the "we dont trade lives" sentiment. Mentioning this cause my brother always complains about it, but I was thinking this would be one of those virtues that separate the good guys from the bad guys and ultimately allow good to triumph. Yknow, sorta like how Voldemort's lack of understanding of love contributed to his downfall, to liken it to HP. I was under the assumption that would be the concept at some turning point in the climax, but...guess not.

Big one though, which was actually a pretty big disappointment IMO, was the whole neutrality argument, the existence of a grey area. The most interesting thing from Rey and Kylo's scenes in 8 was the notion that the Jedi and Sith could be left to die, and the two of them would essentially find a way separate from those two sides, walking a path down the middle. I know I'm not the first person to bring this up, especially because of how the Force just...works. That the scales need to be balanced. And so, given that, to have the Jedi always destroy the Sith - that's not balance. Give it a few more years and the same problem is gonna happen; if there are Jedi, there will be Sith and war is gonna break out. That's hardly resolution, so neutrality is the way to go. And, personal opinion - I loved that this ended up in 8. It's just a lot more nuanced than "good vs evil, good is victorious" and brought in new ideas to this universe that I really wanted to see explored.

But that just...never happened. Sure, Rey has that yellow lightsaber at the end, but it's really very little more than the barest hint of lip service to that entire concept. Because it's never built on throughout the movie. Kylo's insistence that they look for a different way turns into a demand that she basically become his Sith queen. Which isnt playing with the gray area - it's more firmly dividing light and dark. And as she's fighting Palpatine, he's all the Sith, while she's all the Jedi; doubt that needs further explanation. Sure yeah, she's dealing with the revelation of her bloodline throughout the movie, but that interaction with the dark side is very different than in 8; she's afraid of it (a character arc I love, dont get me wrong), not lured by it. The Sith are very clearly evil, and despite her family, she comes to embody the Jedi as a whole. The opposite of what was laid out in 8.

Which actually just makes her choice to take the yellow lightsaber make even less sense? Because...she has no reason at all to turn away from the Jedi and every reason to keep using the Light side. The only possible reason by that point is if she knows about the balance and makes that choice intentionally to prevent the rise of a Sith lord. But that choice is never shown, so I dont give that a pass. It just feels like the lamest nod to something from 8 - no buildup, no explanation, just there because it technically should be.

And that fucking sucks. What a waste. Puts so much space between these movies.

The romance might be another aspect of that - 8 didnt really give me a strong romantic vibe, and then 9 tried to benefit off of buildup of romantic tension that just wasnt there. And that romance isnt the only other one. Just the existence of Palpatine at all? Like, awesome plot yes, but not at all foreshadowed. The banter between the trio at the start? One of my favorite parts to watch, but it comes out of nowhere, and I guess we just have to live with the idea that all of the development happened off screen. Lame. The return of the fucking helmet? Fuck, i actually have more i can say about the way i interpreted the helmet, but this is getting long. So point being: it's like we just got zipped right back to episode 7 all of a sudden and didnt even get a symbolic moment of him losing the helmet in 9 (at least, not that I remember).

Really, on the whole, JJ Abrams basically did the beginning of 9 such that most of 8 could be made irrelevant. Because that's how I felt throughout the whole movie; like 8 didnt matter. And I know a lot of fans are honestly happy with that (so maybe if was actually the right choice on that front) but god does it make the whole trilogy clunky. Literally nothing flows.

And I think that's my main problem with the trilogy as a whole - or, rather, with the production behind it. It's like JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson were just so goddamned married to their ideas that they wouldnt budge from the story they wanted to tell. Like they put their individual creative visions above the quality of the story as a whole. Like they weren't willing to deal with any changes that they didn't put into play themselves. And the trilogy suffered for it.

Which is really so obnoxious to me. Because it is very possible to be flexible and improv and incorporate other ideas into what you already had; just look at D&D. That's the job of a DM. You can plan everything out perfectly, figure out the story you want to tell, decide how you want everyone to interact with your world, but the players will invariably fuck those plans over. And you just have to roll with the punches. But beyond that, those changes can be for the better, because those are ideas you never thought of, and incorporating those makes for an even richer story than anyone expected. All because the people involved are willing to see where the story naturally takes itself.

Just wish these directors could understand that.

(Also...what was Finn gonna tell Rey? I mean...? This is honestly the strangest thing about the movie because it literally felt like the writers just...forgot they ever had this plot point after halfway. Which just feels like sloppy writing, and I feel Poe when he seems to be really curious what Finn wants to tell Rey. Because...me too!)

[firecrackerhh]

Guys.

Ok so I made a post not that long ago about Charlie’s age, after seeing a photograph of her and her mother in 1900s era clothing.

But that’s whatever, what’s important is what I said near the end of it.

I mentioned the possibility of Lucifer having crazy time-space powers, since angels are above such concepts as space-time and such, I was thinking on that and I realized.

Now this is but a theory, and who knows when it’ll get brought up (Charlie’s abilities have to be shown at least a LITTLE in the actual show yknow?) and it occurred to me.

Charlotte Magne’s parents are by all accounts incredibly powerful.

As such, she is half-demon, half-Angel. Now what normally kills a demon, permanently? Angel weaponry, which would not affect her in anyway(assuming her full demon half isn’t out at the time, and even then I’m sure she would heal quickly) now, again, theory, but what if there’s Demonic weaponry? Weapons that are powerful enough to kill an Angel?

Charlie is half demon half Angel. As such neither weapon could truly affect her.

Yknow what this MEANS?

Charlotte Magne, if she had enough mastery over both of her forms, would be the second most powerful being in existence, next to God himself.

Now, WHO, or WHAT could POSSIBLY-

Nah let’s be serious here, nothing can fight against Him. Satan, if I remember correctly, comes close, but it is more so a…balance. Where satan brings dark, God is light yadda yadda.

Btw I’m sorry if I get any of this shit wrong it’s been forever since I’ve read a bible (even then it was like, the child friendly ones.)

Anyways! My point is Charlie is the antichrist.

Thanks to Wikipedia, I’ve learned the Antichrist is just that, a being that will substitute themselves as the messianic figurehead before the Second Coming. (Hehe. Sorry couldn’t help myself)

Now of course you might be thinking, “But Firecracker, Charlie would never do that!”

You’re right.

For now.

See the thing about a pilot is that it is a mere crumb of info on any character, we don’t know if Charlie will…snap.

What would cause her to do that?

The second she realizes heaven is not what it’s been claimed to be. All that time and energy wasted. Hard work with no payoff.

Now again, speculation, but I see heaven as an…imperfect paradise in the Hellaverse.

It’s essentially, imagine the WHITEST goddamn suburb you’ve ever seen and multiply that a million fold. They smile and they’re “happy” but they are only so because if they fall out of line, they will be thrown to the dark pits of hell, forever forced to suffer over the most minor of sins.

When Charlie finds out about this, she’s of course beyond angry. Devastated. Perhaps even destructive. She will realize heaven was a lie, her father was right, and now she is a fool, everyone was right to laugh. They knew all along.

But then she realizes.

She can still help her people! By giving them arms, training, and telling them if they succeed, they will never have to worry about exterminations ever again.

Hmm…a powerful being in their own right trying to fight against God himself? How familiar…

At first it will be for selfless reasons, so Charlie thinks. Many might die permanently, but many sinners on earth die every day. There’s little shortage of demons.

But then it becomes more desperate, resources begin to dwindle, morale is low, Charlie doesn’t know what to do.

Then she remembers.

She has more power, she is better, faster, she has an advantage other demons do not.

She is half Angel.

As such she flies to Heaven and dares to defy God himself…she’s instantly batted away like a fly, fallen back to hell, no injuries other than a bruised sense of pride.

She begins to think…

God only has power in as much as you’re willing to believe in Him.

She wonders, could the same work for her?

She begins making propaganda films, showing herself as their savior against God and his tyrannical ways.

It fucking works.

She becomes more powerful, stronger, even taller! She trains daily, building her endurance against particularly strong angelic attacks. (They can not kill her but they do burn. Same with demonic weaponry when not in her demon form.)

Soon, she becomes so strong other demons have to respect her, even those who still think she’s crazy. She becomes prideful over finally having the respect of her people she longed for (even if it’s not exactly how she wanted it)

Charlotte begins to think. God is nothing. He preaches of love yet loves in the most abusive way possible. He claims to love all his children yet he dared to send those of minor sin to eternal torment? I could do better!

So she begins to say how when it’s all over, she will bring in a new era of prosperity for all, Heaven, hell, and even Earth.

Ah, Icarus flys too close to the sun…

When she feels ready, she will fly up to heaven again, but this time, with a message.

“You think you’re so great!? You send your people to slaughter every year, do nothing to help those on Earth! You hear their prayers but you either don’t listen, or choose to only listen to minor things that you could do without breaking a sweat! What kind of God are you!? You claim to love us and yet here you are! Sitting in your mighty throne merely watching from a distance! You could stop-“

“Charlotte Magne.” God says, his voice nowhere and everywhere at once.

It unnerves her just enough to shut her up.

“I see all, I know all. I know what has been, what is happening, and what will be. It is of no shock you would turn to the same sin that befell your father.” Charlie scoffs.

“Well, like father, like daughter.”

“You dare to defy me and declare yourself above me. You claim to bring peace, prosperity, to everyone.”

“Absolutely!” She shouts.

“Yet your lies fuel nothing but your pride. Your heart was pure, turned to the dark, and now your ideals are the same. You wish to usurp me to make things better. For others? Or for yourself?” Charlie doesn’t flinch.

“It was always for others! I knew what I-“

“Liar! You wished to help others, but there was a secret underneath. You wished to help others in hopes you could ascend to heaven yourself, to forget your home and reach the heavenly plains so you could forget the darker side of yourself which I see this moment. Your ideals were selfish by nature.” Charlie was getting very mad.

“WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? How dare you! Telling me who I am! When I see suffering to my people, the slaughter, I grieve! This isn’t just for me! If it was, I would try to-“

“You are of hell’s creatures. Your kind could never reach heaven, such a thing would soil heavens light and bring it low. I cannot-“

“FUCK YOU! I don’t need this! We don’t need this! If you’re so useless, maybe I should take over! So worried about heaven, heaven heaven heaven! ARE WE NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU!? We are your children as well! Or are you in actuality weaker than you are? I hear Earth has been becoming less religious, at least in the more populous areas. Maybe you know your time is running o-“ Charlotte suddenly felt like she was smacked.

“Petulant child. For your transgression against Me, you shall inherit the same sins as your father.”

“Isn’t there a Bible-“ A boom sounded.

“You chose your fathers path. This is not mere coincidence. Do not try to fool me Magne. Now begone!”

Before she could say another word she was thrown down yet again towards hell. She hit the concrete.

She stayed there on the ground for a long time. She didn’t remember, but she must’ve sent a telepathic message to her generals to end this. They were all coming back.

She truly began to despair when she realized she had no one, besides her family.

Angel Dust, Alastor, Husk, Mimzy, they were all drafted, and died.

She truly began to sob when she remembered Vaggie died as well.

All she wanted to do was cry, but Razzle and Dazzle picked her up and carried her to the palace. It was by some miracle it was rather unharmed in the ensuing chaos.

She opened the door.

Her parents were right there in the grand entrance of the castle, giving each other knowing looks.

Lilith was so very upset. Not at her daughter, no, what God could’ve said is what worried her.

Lucifer assumed this was bound to happen. Like father like daughter. At least she had someone to cushion her metaphorical fall.

It was silent.

Then Lucifer said, “Whatever he told you, it was bullshit.”

Charlotte began to sob uncontrollably, her mother caught her swiftly, saying soothing words, gently rocking her as if she were a baby again.

It was several hours before Charlotte could even try to sleep.

She looked out, seeing the remnants of the clock in Pentagram city.

It was destroyed.

She may have lost everything, her friends, though they became family to her, her city, which was now in ruins, and a majority of her people, though many were dying on earth as well and thus repopulation was inevitable.

She resolved to rebuild her city, her life, whatever it took. Her flame did not burn out that quickly.

At least she had comfort in knowing another extermination was not coming for a long, long time.

[thataspdfeel]

i really hope this isnt too intrusive but i was wondering if you have any tips on keeping up a good relationship/friendship as someone with aspd? ive gone through so many friends and partners over the years and i always end up alone like i am right now and im honestly lonely and my therapist doesnt really understand because he just said its for the best because abusive behaviour is common w aspd which made me scream and i dont know anyone who actually has aspd either :/

long answer so under a cut

ive kept this in the inbox and stared at it over and over again because of that fucking last bit like

fuck your therapist like deck him in the face. aspd etc people arent inherently fucking abusive thats not how that works. we have a really hard time connecting with people due to low empathy and have low tolerance for bullshit at least imo

oh also dont worry i dont find many things too intrusive. frankly, if anybody wanted to know how to keep a sex life nice, id answer that shit. like i have 0 concept of too intrusive lmao

also if youre lonely id honestly start out with a pet or two. that sounds really weird but if you get used to some asshole who cant communicate living with you, you start to tolerate others more. plus less lonely so win-win

THIS IS GOING TO SOUND HELLISHLY BIZARRE BUT TRUST ME WHEN I SAY THIS: try dating sim games. this isnt to make you less lonely but to help you get better at communicating with others. like this is an actual scientifically studied thing. i cant remember where i found this out cause my memory is bullshit but hubs pointed me to it. its how he managed to keep my attention for so long. he knew how to properly engage with me and keep my interest through practice via dating sims. and when things are stale, he goes back to the dating sim textbook. like brings me flowers or goes back to wooing me AND IT WORKS

thats not to say his feelings arent genuine cause they absolutely are. these dating games just let him interact with me romantically easier for him. especially because hes like the human embodiment of golden retriever puppy with sunshine out its ass and he can EASILY come across as waaaaaay too much and these sims taught him how to tone himself down. whereas for people like us, theyd help us to play ourselves up so to speak. or just generally interact with partners easier

now if actual interaction isnt your problem, that you make friends or get partners easily but have a hard time with the maintenance, now thats a different problem and requires a different solution

first, find people you find interesting. it's so much easier to pretend to give a shit about people when you find them interesting because you actually listen to them when they talk to you. and this sounds like bullshit like ugh why do i have to pretend. well you do. you have to with everybody until you make a connection. the key is to find somebody interesting you dont mind listening to

make sure they dont mind listening to you either or they at least pretend to this is because relationships whether romantic or otherwise all rely on communication and listening to each others problems. ive had a few "friends" who expected all kinds of emotional labor from me but would turn tail or come up with excuses if i needed them. those arent friends tbh. those are leeches and dont keep those people around. also dont be one of those people cause emotional labor should go both ways

communicate. communicate. COMMUNICATE!!! ALWAYS!!! EVEN IF ITS PAINFUL!!! even if opening up is the last goddamn thing you want to do. in order to connect with people and to keep connection alive, you need to open yourself up and be vulnerable. and it can suck! it really can! but you dont have to cut yourself open just for a connection. basically share what youre comfortable with at first

later, once youve established honesty (and honesty is the key here) later, if youve got an issue with them? you can bring it up and be like hey it bothers me that you leave your socks everywhere. or i hate that you seem to only need me when your mom is being shitty. this lets them confront you too about things that make them uncomfortable. and, yknow, change when they mention something (so long as its not ridiculous like you drink too much coke or i hate that you have blue eyes)

AND ON THE HONESTY THING be honest about your dishonesty. what that means is letting the other person know you lie if youre a chronic liar like me. you have to be like ok so i lie a lot and usually its about stupid stuff and heres how you can tell. anybody who gives an actual shit about you will be like oh ok thats irritating but ok. just dont EVER EVER lie about big shit EVER like cheating or something like that (i mean dont cheat in the first place but you get my point) 

ive had like an empty bag of chips in my hand and hubs will be like "did you eat the chips" and i'll be like "no?" and it kinda goes back and forth like "i see the bag in your hand right there!" "no you dont" until about half an hour or so later im like "sorry i lied about the chips" and hes like oh its fine i get it. but he knows that while id lie about that or brushing my hair, etc i wont lie about if i took my meds or not etc etc. like be honest about your dishonesty dont hide it or itll create problems for later

let the other person know when you need space. because we all need space at some time or another. be like hey imma need to flake for like a day or so my life is a clusterfuck and i need some time to myself. or, like with one of my partners, im like do you mind if i just chill in the other room with video games/books/netflix/whatever for roughly x amount of time. i let them know its not them (even if it sometimes is at which point, i do let them know later what the problem was) and that i just need to be by myself. and yknow what? its made us all so fucking close when we've told each other when we need space

be honest about needing connection too. sometimes your life just goes all to hell and you need a cuddle buddy or somebody to go to coffee with. its scary making yourself so vulnerable and admitting that but honestly? the payoff is awesome because you have somebody there for you who will hold you through those times. and if they wont? walk the other way

and if it werent already clear, YOU HAVE TO MAKE A RECIPROCAL EFFORT because its not fun to be on anything one-sided. you dont have to magically develop empathy or wanting to be around people 24/7. you just have to make the same effort you expect with others

anyway those are the basics to making things work imo. IF NONE OF THIS IS HELPFUL or not the case for how to make things work for you, message again with specifics and i’ll do my best on the advice thing. just your ask was kind of broad so i answered it broadly

i hope this helps!!

[grizzlefur]

WWEm - The Philosopher-King We Deserve

Happy WWelentines day. Or something.

Transmission date: Monday 13/Tuesday 14 February 2017.

Guess who's back onyour screens with some fresh new FRIDAY NIGHT RAW? .

daniel, play my theme music .

(daniel is my sound guy) .

(he doesn't exist, but nor does my sound capability, so that's ok) .

we open on an in memoriam for chavo guerrero sr .

who i have no other information on, so i'll go for 'probably wasn't a murderer as far as i know' .

hedge hedge hedge .

but hey, he was eddie's brother .

so a certain amount of reflected love in any circumstance .

titles hit, and oh god i've just remembered what we've got in store this week .

cut to the arena, vegas uses 80% of its annual pyro allowance .

later we have the festival of friendship, a women's title match, and probably more things .

for one of those things, here's steph .

"You know it's going to be a big show when the Commissioner kicks things off!" .

no, cole, that's like 60% of episodes .

you pretty much just know it's going to be a monday .

steph has magnanimously given mick the week off because he was clearly .

stressed and overworked last week that explains everything .

a moment of silence for mick foley, of being reeducated .

and then several more moments of silence because roman has just walked in .

eliciting a deafening 'huh' .

he wants to fight braun now instead of waiting for fastlane .

steph asks the crowd for an opinion on it, then proceeds to ignore it .

roman doesn't care what anyone thinks because he's the big dog guy .

apparently we can't have that match because braun is fighting mark henry later .

(woo) .

roman makes a vague threat, steph forbids him from interfering .

and...now here are anderson and gallows? .

anderson has a new schmullet schmub shirt .

apparently they're here to stand up for steph .

and for everyone who doesn't care for roman's shit .

they want a handicap match against roman .

steph does a teddy long impersonation, everyone winces .

so that match is a thing, and apparently teddy is in the hof class this year .

so roman and the club commence to murderbrawl .

and that match is now .

it's...deeply dull, what can i say .

villainous men stamp on heroic man .

and gallows punches him until the ref calls the dq .

so that happened .

and post-beating magic killer .

or not .

roman counters out because fuck your finisher .

two punches and a convenient chair later, villainous men slink away .

woo .

hey, let's hype strowman/henry some more .

cos that's exciting .

but now, a video package about the beautiful friendship between chris and kevin .

including a mashup of chris putting everyone on the list .

advert for upcoming doc on andre .

but now, the new day .

so maybe we'll have some fun twenty minutes in .

okay, 17 minutes .

fuck you, time code .

introduced as kofi accompanied by his peeps, so i assume he has a singles match .

crowd immediately start a who chant, new day are just like cmon guys we have the who planned, give us a minute and we'll get to it .

holy shit, he's fighting bo .

i was wondering only yesterday if he was still employed .

big e has the blueprints for the new day ice cream machine .

i have no idea if this whole thing will have a payoff, or if it's just them being weird .

corey hates them because he's lactose intolerant .

my man .

we want ice cream chants begin, kofi says fuck the match and conducts them .

meanwhile, bo dances with big e as a distraction tactic, then steals and tears up the blueprints .

the fuck is even going on .

bo hits a twisting draping ddt off kofi's deep sadness, and honestly looks like he's going to get a win for a second .

but he doesn't .

needless to say .

and sos for the win .

and then big e pours bootyos on him and in his mouth .

because the new day .

corey: "Everyone knows you shouldn't feed cereal to an unconscious man!" .

your mum was fucking weird, corey .

now, charly interviews neville about the politely looming threat of one mr gallagher .

neville doesn't give a shiiiiiiiiiit .

jack appears, tries to quote shakespeare, neville's just like no .

jack walks off, presumably to have a match, but calls neville a bloody pillock first .

i am super english, so this is great to me .

and now, more recap videos of the chrevin saga .

while we purple up the ring .

cut to ads and further purpling time, and now we have noam dar v jack gallagher .

austin does an impression of noam saying alicia foooooooooooooox, and honestly? not bad .

i can't say much about this match, because the beauty of jack gallagher glitching out of moves cannot be expressed in words

.

alicia is very excited about noam getting some attack in .

prepare for disappointment, hun .

and headbutt to dropkick for the win .

that was pretty short, but great fun .

because how could those two have a match that isn't .

but here's neville, to suck away my good feeling with his sliiiiiiiightly too slow music .

but now, here's a limo .

containing one (1) samoa joe .

and also hunter .

but now, emmalina video .

which should be the last one, thank god .

because that's up next .

cut back from ads, and we need more time to change the ropes, so have some stock video of cegas and a chrevin video .

including the 'sin cara in an incredibly convincing jericho mask' bit .

which was amazing .

but now, emma .

in a slinky dress .

the fuck has happened to you .

and not even any incongruous gloves .

*sad face* .

...huh? .

"And now, you will see the makeover of Emmalina to Emma." .

and she walks off .

the actual fuck .

has this whole thing been a massive bait and switch for people like me .

god, i hope so .

but now, [insert woman here] interviews bayley .

she's excited .

apparently the title match is going to be the main event .

which is good .

interview woman is grinning too because excited bayley is just so infectious .

and now, chris and kevin .

chris is excited .

introduces the festival in english, spanish and japanese .

tomodachi-matsuri .

love it .

but then hunter collars kevin .

apparently they have something to talk about .

so chris goes off to plan a party .

brief shot of hunter and kevin talking earnestly in a corridor .

with no sound .

hmmmmm .

[plot thicBRRRRAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGHHHHHHH .

fuck it braun, can i not get through a stage direction in peace .

he's fightingmarkhenry, so let's have recap videos of his problems with roman .

just so we all remember where this match is inevitably going .

Previously on [SHOW], do you remember this thing that happened two seasons ago that would seem to have no relevance to the current situation well keep that in mind no reason .

braun and mark start off by just shouting at each other .

they're trying to portray this as an equal match, espite one of them being in the middle of a push to the moon and one being mark fucking henry .

crowd are chanting for something, but it's not either of these two .

mark goes for the world's strongest slam, basically counters himself by falling over .

and...braun does a dropkick? .

sure, why not .

and then running powerslam for the win .

say what you will about him, it's impressive to see braun casually hoist a 400-pound man onto his shoulder .

totally surprising everyone, here comes roman .

stalks slowly towards the ring and glowers, braun responds by punching him in the head

.

bold strategy .

cue small brawl with large men .

two superman punches do little to faze braun, then a spear gets reversed into a powerslam .

stay down, dude .

braun wanders off, licking his lips a weird amount .

roman lies in the ring going OW MY EVERYTHING .

end thing .

now, samoa joe is backstage in the interview room .

which contains only red curtains, a small tree, and a table with a model elephant on .

yknow, that classic interior design aesthetic .

but first, more chris and kevin videos .

and a sportsdude in the audience .

cesaro and sheamus train bayley backstage .

and/or hit each other .

and now enzo and cass come to mock them .

sheamus is so angry he completely fucks up his lines .

enzo being even more of a tool than usual .

is this a heel turn, or are they just the worst faces? .

the eternal question .

and we fade on them arguing .

nothing is resolved .

and now, we get cole interviewing joe backstage .

what the fuck, the curtains on cole's side are blue .

that just makes this look like two videos were really shittily edited together .

and if it's not that, then any other camera angle would presumably reveal this to be the ugliest room in history .

joe's attitude to this interview is basically "Fuck your interview" .

but, yknow, in a well-spoken way .

he is the philosopher-king we deserve .

samoa joe 4 great khan .

cole asks about seth and triple h, joe's just like excuse me which of these men are you interviewing .

god, i love him .

he's just very outspoken about how he's here to murder everyone and we should all just calmly wait our turn .

cole is sitting in front of an empty vase, a wooden flower in front of it, and the most distractingly blandly shite wall art .

the actual fuck is up with this room .

joe's spinning it that he's not just hunter's muscle, he's his associate .

walks away, leaves cole looking mildly traumatised .

but now, LET'S GO .

enteer the happy canadian man who skanked his way into all our hearts .

he's fighting handsome rusev, who weirdly wasn't announced by lana .

at least jojo didn't call him handsome rusev .

i'm still amazed how blatantly they've repeated this angle .

well, seven year rule, i guess .

(in other news, holy fuck dashing cody rhodes was in 2010) .

i like sami's new tights, but he needs to be aware that when he splays his legs while trying to fight out of an incredibly long rest hold, the pattern makes a huge, impossible to ignore X over his perineum .

this is simultaneously a pretty good match and formulaic as fuck .

like, it's basically the same as every other match each of these guys has ever fought, but on the other hand, those were good matches .

corey thinks 'handsome' should be rusev's legal first name .

fuck it, i agree .

that'd be hilarious .

although i can't decide whether it'd be funnier as a middle name .

rusev's mask falls off, he is unmasked luchador levels of distressed .

so he...puts it back on .

well that was a thing .

rusev keeps kicking sami's head off, but they keep growing back .

turns out sami zayn was a hydra all along .

who knew .

weird sequence of not-quite-spots there .

sami seems weirdly reluctant to actually do anything .

and then helluva kick with no setup or anything for the pin .

huh .

so that happened? .

i feel like i fell asleep and missed part of it, but i'm reasonably sure i didn't .

charly? appears on the ramp to interview sami .

oh, it is charly .

thanks for letting me now, sami .

sami gives an inspirational speech about getting back up whenever bullies murder you .

and swings straight in to cutting his hottest promo ever in joe's direction .

mentions mania, the WHOMP WHOMP WHOMPs kick in before he can finish that thought .

and joe blindsides him by not coming in the main entrance .

still wearing a dress shirt .

and just mashes sami into the minitron .

and coquina clutch until death .

cut to charlotte putting boots on and looking at her belt .

but now, stock footage of vegas woooooo .

and a thing about teddy long making the hof .

which would be great, but for the fact that steph told us that in her opening .

so...holla, i guess? .

beautiful shot in this video package of a white guy in the crowd with a sign saying HOLLER HOLLER PLAYER .

there's a lot to say about that .

ah, that's why we got that long-ass video .

it's cruiserweight time .

enter akira tozawa and his kick-ass music .

kendrick is on announce so he can talk about how great tozawa is .

and bet "a whole bushel of bananas" about the other crusierweights' backstage habits .

you do you, brian .

and they keep talking about bananas .

i have no fucking idea where this came from .

oh, by the way, ariya's here too .

in memoriam ariya daivari's back .

akira deploys my second-favourite catchphrase .

which is, of course, HA .

ooh, nasty move there .

tozawa goes for daivari in the corner, he drops down and chop blocks him in the shins so he hits the middle rope with this face .

and that suicide dive .

fuck, i love tozawa .

a few more kicks, and snap german katabasis for the win .

kendrick applauds his effective training .

tozawa entirely fails to notice him .

but next up, kebin to kurisu no tomodachi-matsuri .

after some more recaps of their friendship .

going all the way up to last week .

festival kicks off, as with all vegas festivals, with all the pyro .

and dancing girls .

we have officially gone full vegas .

chris struts in wearing a silver lamé jacket and hat .

this is so goddamn ridiculous it turns around into amazing .

chris is going for maximum ham .

intriduces kevin who looks faintly mortified and disappointed at the whole thing .

chris leads the girls to the ring, kevin stays a loooooong way behind them .

he has no clue what kind of stroke his friend has had .

whoever you are in the crowd with a feather-trimmed FESTIVAL OF D-BAGS sign, i love yoou and want you to succeed .

there are several mysterious objects on stage .

seriously, this is all being presented by a man wearing a silver sequinned trilby .

object #1 is a sculpture .

by ralph guggenheim, the premier norwegian minimalist maximalist artiste .

apparently it cost chris $7000 .

kevin is less than impressed .

but tries to be nice for his friend .

object #2 is a painting .

it's the creation of man, but with chris as adam and kevin as god .

that is fucking amazing .

wwe art department, you have earned your salary .

chris tells kevin to hang it in his home .

kevin is like i have two kids, and you're not wearing pants in this .

chris: "It's ART, you don't NEED pants!" .

best quote .

gift #3 is Friendship, the Magician .

who is apparently the illuminati of illusion .

i have no idea .

i'm just typing as these things happen .

kevin is like hey my 9-year-old son can do those tricks .

so Friendship the Magician has made the list .

which he deserves for that lime shirt, if nothing else .

chris admits to finding a magician on craigslist, dismisses him whence he came .

chris makes reference to the fact that he should have stopped goldberg ever making it to fastlane .

dramatic buildup .

is gift #4 a gun .

kevin's face is a picture .

no, apparentl gift #4 is chris calling goldberg out .

this'll end so well .

holy fuck .

dramatic entrance, and it's fricking gillberg .

outstanding work .

kevin runs out, murders him, and comes back to hector chris .

kevin is pissed and confused .

and chris is trying his best god bless him .

does a heartfelt speech about how much kevin means to him and how he's got his back .

d'awwwww .

and promises he'll make sure kevin beats goldberg .

awwwwww, they love each other and they actually said it .

i love that they're advancing discourse tbh .

kevin's all embarrassed because he got chris something but it's not as good as all his stuff .

and it's a new list .

ohhhhhhh .

chris's name is on it .

and it's the list of KO .

kevin beats the shit out of chris and his art .

this is honestly making me sad ;.; .

such a beautiful relationship, ruined forever .

well, if they wanted to reaffirm kevin's heel status, there they go .

and apron powerbomb .

the death knell on this beautiful beautiful angle .

but then, it's a great setup for owens/jericho at mania .

which i'm looking forward to .

smashes chris into the festival of friendship sign, which shatters impressively .

walks out of the ring, casually pushing the original guggenheim over, as referees tend to chris .

cut to ads as we all console our children .

chris is being stretchered off into an ambulance .

while cole talks about his emotional trauma .

all the announcers are unified in their shock and dismay .

but now we have to do another segment, so everybody cheer up .

and now we have something with anderson and gallows .

but we're all too depressed to care .

okay, no .

apparently we're having cesaro/enzo .

so first we have enzo offering his analysis of cesaro .

consisting mostly of switzerland and baywatch puns .

the two are linked in context, i promise .

enter cesaro, who gets a longer section of his entrance than usual before sheamus joins him .

i love these two together way more than i ever thought i would .

corey is pissed that he has to watch enzo after the traumatic events of the last segment .

cesaro throws enzo into the ropes, he stumbles a bit, then goes fuck it and throws himself over them .

don't worry zo, nobody saw .

cesaro is fucking enzo up, and the crowd love it .

cole points out the siiiiiiiiign .

enzo hits a shitty ddt, cesaro briefly sells it before getting bored and uppercutting his head off .

not a finisher we've seen him use for a little while .

well, that was certainly a comedown segment .

but now, the black history month segment .

which today is about rosa parks .

who was also not at wrestlemania .

i want one of these superstars to say "Nevertheless, she persisted." .

didn't happen .

ah well .

next up, it's main event time .

but first, charlotte mocks sasha backstage .

and says she should be fired for getting injured and destroying morale .

cue trashtalk exchange .

and ads for next week .

oh great, we have braun/show .

what did we ever do to you, wwe .

(says the woman who writes a weekly blog taking the piss out of wwe) .

but now, it's women's title time .

i love that this is the main event .

bayley has a sparkly black jacket with the fringes on it, and i approve .

charlotte's dressing gown continues to get ever more elaborate .

billed as 'charlotte flair' again .

they really need to work out whether they're doing that or not .

this match is starting off slow, but we've got time .

and it's just showing off how good both of these are technically .

i do love people who can make mat-based chain wrestling fun .

bayley decides to get dangerous, proceeds by mashing charlotte's face into the turnbuckle .

between that and charlotte switching to her striker moveset, this is turning into quite the brawl .

and a surprising number of submission holds by charlotte .

including a weird leg trap neckbreaker hold i don't think i’ve ever seen before .

and an exposed knee drop, because she has to slowly adopt all her dad's moves .

ooh, and a dragon sleeper .

charlotte has just brought an entirely new moveset to this match .

bayley reverses out, gets an attack phase .

and gets kicked in the face for her trouble .

RAW Las Vegas: Where beauty and joy come to die. .

moonsault off the barricade onto a standing bayley's neck .

ow .

bayley is getting added to my 'please don't kill yourself for our amusement' list .

bayley gets an attack phase, then they both crossbody each other simultaneously .

bayley gets up first, fuelled by the rage of the unheard millions .

inverted exploder of RAGE .

springboard elbow drop, nearfall .

draping ddt because fuck it, bubbly hispanic girls can be randy orton .

nearly falls off the top turnbuckle on her way to a top rope elbow drop .

has the grace to smirk at the fans about it .

these two are just giving it eveyrthing .

beautiful avalanche hurricanrana by bayley, nearfall .

and dana fucking brooke appears .

bayley coldcocks her off the apron, locks the shitting figure four on charlotte .

so dana rakes her eyes to break it .

charlotte gets a figure eight .

and sasha appears to hit dana with a crutch and then hit charlotte in the face too .

bayley to belly .

and the pin .

and bayley finally gets her belt .

between this, naomi, and bray, this mania season is the season of recognising hard work .

everyone cries .

i may be one of these people .

eh, we'll take it out in post .

bayley is beaming, laughing, and jumpng the barricade to hug fans .

she is our champion .

now that was a hell of a match, only enhanced by the narrative .

the crowd are so fucking pumped .

they may never give her back .

the camera is having trouble finding her in the crowd .

the refs have hustled her back into the ring before she gets touched by too many people .

and we fade on her in the ring, having the time of her life .

RAW Las Vegas: Bittersweet, like slightly suspect dessert wine. .

but we can't let it end there .

(because hisorically, it didn't, and all) .

because speaking of hardworking superstars who deserve belts, in the aftermath of Elimination Chamber 2017: Where Everything Was Shit Until Suddenly It Wasn't, we have MONDAY AFTERNOON RAW! .

(yeah, we snuck a weekend-long cut in there somewhere and none of you noticed) .

(good work, daniel) .

(i'll get you taken off the list) .

opening with recaps of chamber, which was often disappointing but overall pretty good .

including the moment when cena went down and the entire world went holy shit .

and we open the actual show on bray entering .

with his lantern light nicely catching off his shiny new belt .

but without his family .

</3 .

but to be fair, bray clearly follows a "i will give you victory if you kill your sons" kind of god .

apparently we're having a title rematch tonight .

and if cena retakes it, i'm done with this shit .

you deserve it chants bring the house down .

bray has a speech about how sister abigail revealed his long road to victory to him .

and how he finally has the whole world in his hands .

...well played .

this is surreal and amazing .

bray will lead us to paradise .

which is nice .

bray announces the era of wyatt and hellfire for his foes, crowd cheer rapturously .

which i'm not sure should be the reaction to that kind of pronouncement .

so here's cena to save us from the devil .

and the lights come up, allowing us all to appreciate bray's new spiky leather jacket .

cena starts off by magnanimously acknowledging bray's win .

calls the crowd brainwashed for saying bray deserves it .

fuck off, john .

and gets a whole thing about how you have to earn shit and bray somehow hasn't done that .

cena proposes they have a match right now .

so here comes aj styles, who's totally involved .

protip, dude: we don't want none .

aj thinks cena shouldn't get a rematch before him for some reason .

he apparently objects to the idea of queue-jumping .

although how aj gets a rematch for a belt he didn't have in the first place is kind of beyond me .

but he wants a rematch right now as well .

well this is awkward .

here comes daniel bryan to resolve the double booking .

opens by congratulating bray again, because we need to constantly remind ourselves that bray winning a belt actually happened .

according to bryan, we have a conundrum .

luckily, there was a super obvious way to resolve it .

so he's done that .

later tonight, triple threat title match, which bray will probably win by dredging up some family .

also tonight, we have becky/mickie again .

and naomi does an undefined thing .

but now, american alpha are great .

walking moodily down a corridor .

very brief vignette of dean stomping through backstage looking for baron .

not sure why that needed to be there .

the editing on smackdown is so avant-garde .

or possibly shit .

hard to tell sometimes .

so now we have alpha/ascension .

so it's time to see whether we're actually going to make this ascension push a thing or not .

they're getting an entrance, at least .

they've tweaked viktor's paint again .

one day, they'll find something they like .

or they won't and they'll keep changing his look until one day he gets paired up with an irritating rapper and fades into obscurity .

could go either way, really .

alpha's gear detailing is now green tiger-print, which i'm not sure i can support .

think of the green tigers .

they're making a whole thing of the ascension stopping to talk strategy, which is honestly pretty great to see .

makes this make sense .

rather than just expecting every teamto be as telepathic and/or perfectly synchronised as #DIY .

speaking of which, after a brief brawl, jordan and gable just simultaneously clotheslined both of the ascension while jumping off the same turnbuckle .

they are the true power couple of wrestling .

the ascension are getting a really good fight in here .

it's like we're suddenly back on nxt .

jason takes his top off, sets up for grand amplitude, but gets bullfought into the ring post while the ascension beat some crap out of chad .

but still, couple of spots later, chad erupts out of nowhere to finish a beautiful grand amplitude on viktor for the pin .

cut to a video of the usos mocking alpha .

so much for that ascension push, i guess .

only space for one tag team story on this show .

the usos basically promise to hunt and kill jordan and gable .

but now, ellsworth and carmella .

he invites her out for a valentine's dinner, she wants to keep it professional .

dean appears to hunt baron, pauses to tell ellsworth that carmella's exploiting him .

daniel bryan appears to resolve the issue .

is like hmmmm baron's not here right now, but you clearly need to fight .

how about this dude? .

dean likes this arrangement, ellsworth is less impressed .

another segment about teddy long, jbl shouts holla a lot while being the oldest, richest, whitest, old rich white guy .

carmella enters, with ellsworth announcing her .

let's be honest, he's not bad on the mic .

but this is the dean match, so apparently introducing his meal ticket is actually his entrance .

dean's music kicks, long beat, baron walks out dragging dean behind him .

cue those two fighting on the stage .

deep six through a pair of tables, destroying something in a satisfying shower of sparks .

black tablecloths cover dean, making it look like baron's dumped him through the floor into the waiting maw of hell .

sombre announcers segue to another thing, ellsworth and carmella presumably slink off .

because now we're talking about nikki/nattie .

and how, as they keep pointing out, nothing was resolved as chamber .

which they're trying to spin as being plot in itself .

pan out to bryan and nikki watching the footgae from chamber and bryan complaining at her .

and here's nattie to complain some more .

bryan apparently has a solution, but they're arguing over him .

cue a fight which apparently numerous security guys cannot split up .

finally, a pissed bryan announces that if they're going to pull this shit, they can have an FCA match next week .

this pleases your genial host greatly .

it's like my favourite match type .

and we get them maybe twice a year these days .

but now dasha is backstage with baron and his ugly moustache .

who is very forthcoming about the fact that he's pissed because he didn't win chamber so he murdered dean .

i think they're going to try and make "Because Baron Corbin." into a thing .

seems like the kind of thing they'd catchphrase .

and now, renee is in the blue curtain room with dolph .

and shockingly, i love her jacket .

dolph is like hey, i despise the new generation of wrestlers for trying to upstage me, so i'mma kill them all kthx .

good to know, i guess .

but now it's time for lynch/james again .

becky gives a girl in the crowd her goggles, makes her day .

and now here comes mickie, with her entrance music by Phoni Oregano .

clip of chamber's talking smack, where mickie (somehow glam as fuck immediately after a ppv), criticises young entitled wrestlers who don't respect her .

i'm spotting a running theme here .

also, apparently the new generation get to, quote, "ride a golden horse around" .

which i'm not sure is something anyone has ever said, or, indeed, done .

it's like she's getting her lines supplied by bad contestants on Catchprase .

it's good, mickie, but it's not right .

and she wants the current generation to respect past women's wrestlers as well .

not just her .

sure, mickie .

you keep telling yourself that .

jbl makes a forced reference to otunga being married to jennifer hudson, take a shot of something stronger than expected in the middle of the day, then go back to work like nobody noticed .

the ref is trying to stop these two fighting, and it's unclear why .

like, i thought that was the point .

i still like mickie's flares/knockoff Star Sapphire gear, and i'm fully aware of what a terrible person that makes me .

i love the strategy behind becky's moveset, which is, when presented with every situation, to think "how can i go from this to dislocating her shoulder?" .

both clothesline each other outside the ring .

apparently in the ad break just then, we missed becky trying to missile dropkick a ghost .

jbl tries to related becky winning matches to the Six Nations, take a shot of a foreign drink you don't quite understand .

that flapjack from mickie is still a good move .

like, it's the mark of a good signature move when you can do a basic move .

people do all the time and make it look good .

mickie is doing the whole rolling around going OW MY SHOULDER thing .

referee calls for a medic without throwing x's, we're all reassured .

and uses the distraction for a mick kick for the pin .

okay, that was really good .

mickie swaggers off while becky sits against the ropes smiling like okay, i maybe deserved that and you're a bitch .

up next, naomi does a thing, but first, let's talk about the upcoming andre doc .

which is hard, given that pretty much all they can say about it is "it's going to happen" .

cut back to the ring and naomi's there with renee .

i feel cheated of an entrance .

you deserve it chants briefly drown renee out .

wait .

apparently naomi's injured off that match? .

fuck off .

but she doesn't care, because wrestlers .

in breaks alexa .

this camera shot finally shows naomi's knee brace, so we have more details than 'an injury' .

alexa is here to mock .

renee disappears immediately .

apparently naomi imagined her injury because she can't beat alexa .

nobody condescend quite like alexa .

naomi does not care for her shit .

alexa's magnanimously giving naomi a week before their rematch .

and walks off, managing to walk backwards up a ramp while feigning a sarcastic knee injury .

that's probably a lot harder than it sounds .

but next, main eventing .

after a black history month thing with a quote from mandela .

and a push for 205 with tjp .

who gets a lot of boos .

we certainly have a rowdy crowd tonight .

but yes .

big match time .

so enter first BIG MATCH JOHN .

to shout at the crowd and cameraman .

loud man, that one .

now aj, who is still asking to be introduced as the face who runs the place .

brief wolfpac hands .

acknowledge your roots, styles .

side note: have they deliberately put the three catchiest entrance themes in the same match? .

john cena sucks/they don't want none/catching flies .

my ears appreciate this .

lights cut back on, luke harper is RIGHT FUCKING THERE .

and just unloads on bray .

this is still weird to see .

lands a brutal superkick .

cena and styles stood in the ring like dude, that's our job .

cut to ads, and we're doing the thing anyway .

currently consisting of cena and styles fighting while bray lies on the outside .

oh hey, he's back .

interrupts cena's five moves to pull him outside and put him through the steps .

only to take a plancha from styles .

okay, this match is pretty damn strong already .

styles drops a lovely diving forearm on bray, who has just decided to stop selling today .

cena makes it in, crossbody, crossbody, back drop, 5ks .

bray counters an aa into the start of sister abigail, only for aj to fly in from out of frame to fuck him up .

and get an aa himself, but kickout .

aj styles does not care for your physics .

bray does a spiderwalk into sister abigail on cena, aj breaks it up .

cut to ads, come back to aj trying to put bray through an unexpectedly resilient announce table .

so he elbow drops him through it from the barricade .

wow .

it's so nice to see bray getting proper main event matches .

aj goes for a phenomenal forearm, cena counters into an aa, goes for another but aj counters into a calf crusher .

which always makes me wince, but i have leg trouble .

cena fights out, turns it into an stf .

until bray sentons onto them both .

this is a hell of a thing .

bray throws aj out, goes for sister abigail, takes an aa, kicks out .

i swear, the aa is such a victim of power creep these days .

aj takes the moment to styles clash cena, who also kicks out .

speaking of power creep .

in other promotions, that move was like getting a boltgun to the head .

now it's a glorified transition move .

aj goes for a phenomenal forearm, cena pushes him off the ropes, sister abigail to cena for the win .

actually a clean win .

i was not expecting that .

it's almost like they're giving him (gasp) an actual singles push .

but yeah, that match was great .

by any objective metric, it was a 100mph spotfest, but those three have enough spots to support that .

bray does his kneeling in the spotlight thing, interrupted by randy's music .

let's address this elephant .

randy walks slooooooooowly to the ring .

much glowering occurs .

in both directions .

fuck, why does randy have a mic .

who provided it .

but first, let's glower at each other some more .

it's unclear where this is going .

huh .

randy is refusing to fight bray as long as he is his master .

and pledging his undying loyalty .

welp, this isn't where i thought they'd take this .

randy kneels for his lord, is told he has 'the keys to the kingdom', then they both .

pose as the lights go down, music hits and the show ends .

the fuck was that ending .

when did smackdown get esoteric .

what, is our bold new direction going to be 'wrestling, but, like, if Jodorowsky did it'? .

i mean, i'm on board with that, it just wasn't what i expected .

i think we're officially through the looking glass here, people

[write-yourself]

Shadowhunters 2x04 Spoilery Review...

Just some things that I was thinking throughout the episode in no particular order... 

WARNING: This one is pretty negative. Avert your eyes if you’re looking for pure positivity.

Are we allowed to hate Victor now? Like... Raphael isn’t even one of my favorites, and I was ready to jump through the screen and fucking WRECK A FELLA. 

PS: I’m a scaredy cat pacifist who would never, actually, “wreck a fella”. 

I’m, um, honestly kind of in shock after the episode, like. Jocelyn is dead, right? Like she’s dead-dead? The fact that this SUPER IMPORTANT MOMENT happened off screen is just, like, mind boggling to me? I can’t even... like... comprehend that this happened. 

DO YOU SEE WHAT THIS DID? I AM SAYING LIKE EVERY OTHER WORD. RIDICULOUS. 

But seriously, wtf was up with it happening OFF SCREEN? I mean, I get that even now Matt isn’t the best stage fighting expert ever. But... a moment like that... 

Unless it’s not going to stick? I mean, that seems like the only explanation that makes sense to me. Jocelyn isn’t going to remain dead, because why else would a HUGE DEATH like that... be done OFF SCREEN? 

I am so stuck on this right now, you have no idea. Off screen. Off screen. WHY OFF SCREEN. 

Another thing that happened off screen: ALEC GETTING POSSESSED???? Why, oh why, oh WHY was that done off screen? No, seriously. Where was the build up of tension? Why didn’t we see it? Surely they had time to show a moment of Alec walking out of the infirmary and getting possessed? At least THEN the reveal of who he killed would’ve been a better payoff? We see him get possessed, then we see him post-murder, and it’s like OMG WHO DID HE KILL? 

But, um, no. That didn’t happen. 

Basically, Jocelyn’s death reveal had like zero tension. Because the tension up to Lydia’s death had SO MUCH build up, and then there was a release of tension afterward... and they never built it back up. WHY. 

Better reveal? Clary finds her mom first. Freaking out. Crying. Then she realizes she hears someone on the other side of the door. She gets up, shakily, walks out of the room - and we see Alec on the floor, shaking, and staring at his hand. BAM. TENSION.

I’m just so stuck on this whole sequence, guys. All of this off screen shit. I don’t get it. Don’t get it at all.

Also, someone please confirm that Alec was just holding back against Izzy, please. Like, again, I get that Matt is not that great at stage combat from what we’ve seen, but... that fight was super lame. So lame. Couldn’t Izzy have just kicked his ass a little more if he was holding back? I mean, since when do demons show mercy? Raj’s possession was BRUTAL with Lydia? But Izzy’s possession was like, teehee, let’s play~ 

And if he wasn’t, then damn, dude, Alec just... isn’t... good? (Please don’t hate me.) 

Also, how could they kill off Jocelyn (supposedly) and NOT give us a Luke reaction? Like... at all? We never see him, for a single second, even FIND OUT about Jocelyn’s fate? 

But somehow Simon knew?? Even though he clearly didn’t know?? He’s psychic now?? SOMEONE HELP ME. 

Random but the Lydia and Raj scene was REALLY well done? I don’t know the actor’s name that plays Raj, but he was super good in this episode. I adored him to pieces - like, I don’t like him, as in I woudn’t want to be his friend, but I adore watching him on screen. And the actor when he got possessed? A+, good job, man. 

And Lydia’s pain sequence, fuck, so good. I was on the edge of my seat, just freaking out. Poor Lydia, fuck man. POOR LYDIA.

But I kinda wish she HAD been the one to die? Because at least we fucking would’ve SEEN IT.

Okay, okay, let’s talk about something else... Back to the Downworlders (minus Luke because apparently Luke is like a side character with absolutely no plot lately). 

This is probably the best part of the episode. David Castro was AMAZING. I don’t even like Raphael, but I was SO all over him. I just wanted to take him and protect him and love him forever. 

Magnus and Raphael’s relationship - HE CALLED HIM HIS SON. I just cannot with these two. I want about a million more scenes with these two. SO GOOD. 

Simon was amazing, again. Another highlight. He’s so protective of his mom and of Clary, and I just really love him, okay? He’s really coming into his own in this show, and I just love that about him. 

Camille and Magnus’s scene was just so... heartbreaking? Like... he clearly still loves her. And this also makes me feel a little high and mighty. Like people act as if it would be the BIGGEST BETRAYAL if Alec still had feelings for Jace, but... HELLO! *gestures wildly* He’s not the only one who is working on shifting his feelings from one person to the next. 

And of course, they’re going to succeed. They’re going to live happily ever after forever and ever and nobody can tell me any differently. But it’s been a week. So, yknow, give them time. 

Unrelated: But my bisexual ass was so thirsty for Camille’s actress tonight. Like, holy hell, those hips don’t lie, no, sirree, they certainly do not. 

LASTLY - Jace. I knew this was how it was going to go. Well, that’s a lie, when Victor was like, “Hahaha, LIFE IN PRISON.” I was like, Sir, Jace is gonna save your life and prove you’re a fuckwit. And I was right. 

Granted, this does prove that Victor has some good in him, and it also makes me want some backstory on the guy. But I still don’t like him, but he gets at least one point for knowing when he owes a guy one. 

But those questions about Jace’s feelings for Clary? WHOA. Crossing the line, bud. That’s not fair. AGAIN, it’s been like a week. People don’t just FALL OUT OF LOVE that quickly. For fuck’s sake, people. 

Anyway, I don’t have any pressing questions this week. Mostly just ranting. So, yeah. 

Overall... weakest episode so far, which is SO terrible for me to say since this was the big shocker and my birthday episode. (I’m seriously cringing writing that right now.) But... how could they kill off such an important character in such a way that it has NO IMPACT on the audience? I am just... disappointed. 

But it wasn’t all bad. I’m just not pleased.

[themanicgalaxy]

SPN 5X9 the Real Ghostbusters

...oh mORE META?

oh HELL YEAH Actually this might not be good, but let's do this

oh yeah never mind this is going to be a mess

the bb flashbacks tho, they were so small

Chuck...said come...uh oh

B E CK Y

nope nope I'm muting this oh my goD KILL ME

he's..is Chuck dating Becky

nothing makes sense anymore

the leather jacket again? oh?

...hey wasn't last episode also emotionally raw?

also cuz the jacket is recognizable I think

the FUCKING SCARECROW FROM SEASON 1??

thEIR REACTIONS TO THE MERCHANDISE LMAOOO

theY'RE SO TALL COMPARED TO HER

I cannot believe that they just said "frightened little boy(Dean)" and "the homoerotic subtext of supernatural" what the FUCK WAS GOING ON HERE

listen I wasn't in the fandom then I don't know what's happening what is happening what the fuck

great so God's a terrible public speaker

nothin makes sense anymore

"Where'd you come up with the characters" *stares directly at Sam and Dean*

their technique is getting critiqued lmaO

Sam's like "fair enough," Dean's taking it personally

Becky what the fuck

"Dean goes to hell what happens"

Dean in the back of the auditorium: wow I SURE WONDER

dang now I want a yellow eyed cooler

God is actively trying to date a Samgirl

I...just...typed that what the fuck

"I'm not a good writer" THEY FUCKING WARNED US

ah they're roleplaying I see ok

"who gave you the right to our life story" and "our lives aren't for public consumption" are raw ass fucking lines tho

aw Dean doesn't know what LARPing is yet

they got the badges too with the stupidfucking FBI agent names

oh god they actually show up

oh my god it's a Tulsa isn't it

B L A I R WALDORF?

oh it wasn't her

it doesn't work cuz they think it's them

I think they should lose a look alike contest I think that would be funny

oh it's...actually authentic oops

lmao he said the actual thing oh my gOD

oh god they think it's part of the game but GUYS IT'S NOT

the role-play hurts me

no NO THOSE ARE ACTUAL CLUES OH MY GOD

hey I have a shirt the same color and pattern as Sam's

god this kid is actually terrifying, as is this episode

Becky what the fuck

ah Dean has the parental issues ok

ah and they found the other guys

thEY MAKE SAM AND DEAN BE RUFUS AND BOBBY AHAHHAAHAH

yeah fuckers have fun getting therapized by NERDS

"why choose to be us" oh gOD THAT'S HIS DAMAGE WAIT

"Their pain is not for your enjoyment" :(

Sam saying he takes it seriously oh my GOD AHAHA

hey wait in the meta plot line does that mean the fans like the character versions and not the writers? Is that how that works?

wow I just cannot tell what is happening anymore

ah he takes the Dean Shot that's neat

"we read the books" LMAO

"and screw you very much" LMAOOO

ah it's the lady

ah jeez not the kid

wait who did it? the kids??

oh good it is the other kids

the mom was trying to protect him

"invasive questions" seriously

the angels lmAO

'lapping" dean

oh they were only scared of Letiticia and the...larpers

oh that's so neat

"we got to do something, even if we're terrified"

the story gives them strength aw

I'm so sad they stopped making him say sweetheart that was sweet

oh shit the ringtone

it almost worked

enough to buy them time ig

these kids are so fucked up omg

Chuck has gone to the Worst Stories oh my god

this is gonna be fun

HEY CHUCK GOT TO BE A HERO!

yes it's a bit self congratulatory it was still cool

Rob Benedict is fun

lmAO WE SHOULD PUT THEM ON A BUNGEE

they don't believe him

it was a GOOD LINE Though

they get to be the escapism for people! they get to have a family that would die for them!

that's so good though

are they..

no they seem just friends

if they snuck in w//nc//st I was gonna be very confused

ah good here's the Becky plotline I have fun

he'S SO TALL COMPARED TO THEM

sAM YOU CHEEKY BASTARD

yes go and date Becky God

"no not really we have guns and we'll find you" AHAHAHA

oh my god

oH MY GOD THE WRITER CLAIRVOYANCE

HOLY FUCK WAIT OH MY GOD THAT'S SO GOOD

cROWLEY! C R O W L EY !? C R O W LE Y!!

aW DEAN

THEY JUST FORCED HIM TO SAY SHIT LMAO

THEIR REACTIONS TO CHUCK’S EMBARASSING STORIES LMAOOOO

1 the good fan portrayals! look..yeah ok there was some stuff that was weird, we weren’t supposed to see them as like..the Ideal. but the whole thing of like…family that cares about you and that you care about and saving the world? they did understand that part of the appeal at least, they were just wrong about their target audience. The majority was sad teens, but…I think…I think they had the right vague Idea. It wasn’t AS unsympathetic as I thought.

2. the bad whatever the FUCK they were doing with Becky. Like…oh wow. Some of the convention stuff was clearly made to be mocking. Actually a lot of it. I’m honestly surprised at ANY good. Jesus that was cringe for like 80%. Like I’m glad in the end it…tried, but OUCH it was…Listen I get it wasn’t your target demo but you still have fans guys for FUCK’S SAKE

3. the reactions listen…Sam’s lil “ah yeah this is kinda funny in places, we can make this work, I can hide it” vs Dean’s “WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE”…like idk Sam at least feels like someone who has let himself be weird and nerdy, Dean hasn’t, so he knows the vibe. Also I feel like Dean hates himself and his life a lot more than Sam does, regardless of how much they pretend it’s the other way. Like it reads as everything Dean wanted not to be, or was told not to be, and like…yeah ok there’s a metaphor in there. Whereas Sam the Protagonist is just kinda more chill. Also that one scene at the end was unironically funny(no chuck abort was very good)

4. the meta/self congratulatory ok as far as meta: they did take advantage of the fact that we the audience know shit the characters don’t to like…actually find the colt! like that was a very good use of meta! using the lady as the matron was also good use of meta! and yeah it’s self congratulatory(nerdy underdog niceguy writer gets the girl that’s a fan of his work)(hey if chuck’s a stand in that’s really fucked up guys) but that scene with Chuck was actually cool, and yknow…he’s not that bad right now. I know he will be, but he’s just kinda fun and funny

5. actually really good set up and payoff this episode like the shot glasses, the lady, the “they all think it’s a joke” hell even the fucking colt and bela and crowley. I just thought it was neat

6 hbo supernatural. Ok so…every single thing that was a bit Lighthearted ended up dark and vice versa. I think that they’re straddling this line a lil bit here, because they clearly wanna tell darker stories, but the CW is forcing them to stay peppy and they’re…not fantastic at integrating it. Like changing channels has two COMPLETELY separate vibes. I think that actually the curious case did it better, but both are good. Once again, the straining against circumstances that makes this fucking show so compelling, even if it’s not good

7 BELAAAA FINALLY A NAMEDROPPPP!! YES THAT'S ALL IT WAS BUT I MISS HERRRR

and that was our meta section of the season peeps!