#because it was atrociously distracting… But even concentrating on it I still blinked too much
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Did anyone else used to lie on their bed or the ground and stare directly into a lightbulb and/or a ceiling fan when they were a kid?
#For some reason if I’m burned-out I can hold my eyes open for unnaturally long periods of time (a minute straight or longer) and stare#Which is extremely out of character because I usually blink at least every ten seconds and “flutter” them when thinking of words to say#I only found out I did that after recording myself for a public speaking class… I had to make a conscious effort not to blink so much#because it was atrociously distracting… But even concentrating on it I still blinked too much#It’s a rhythmic sort of blinking.#My parents accused me of blinking in Morse code to “brainwash” them into apostasy when they found out I was protesting their cult#I shit you not. That’s how fast and rhythmic it is; and that’s how crazy they are. Cults: Not even once.#Yeah kind of hurtful because they accused me of having extreme control over the one thing I have literally no control over#1.) My eyes hurt because the lighting in the living room they decided to detain me in to be yelled at for four hours sucked ass#2.) I can’t think of what to say to people if I don’t blink; whether I’m lying or not#(I mean I absolutely was lying about certain things because I believe in self-preservation in the face of religious extremism#but that’s not the point)
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