#because it reminds me of way back when i was in like the sanders sides fandom and a musical enjoyer

[princsstwilightsparkl]

people who put really specific and completely unproblematic ship shippers in their fucking dnis are so funny to me, like what do you have against those little lesbians ?? does this mf have twipie trauma ?? what did they do to u

[beauty-and-passion]

This is going to sound really strange but the most recent GRWM video has. Some of the best Janus characterisation I think we’ve seen in a while?? Also he canonically sheds now, so

You are not wrong, anon: this is the best characterization in a while. It's way better than the last one, in which Janus was mostly a drunk idiot, and it's way worse than SvS. This one sits in the middle: it's not bad, it's not amazing. It's good.

Just like Mr. Sanders' last videos regarding Sanders Sides, this GRWM is okay. Not groundbreaking, not impressive, not deep, not stupid. Just okay.

And trust me, this is the best possible outcome! When I found out Thomas was planning a video with Janus and it was a GRWM and Janus had questions to answer... I wasn't just scared, oh no. I was absolutely terrified. I feared to see the destruction of Janus' character. I feared to see him being all like: "YASSS QUEEN all I love is WINE and nothing else, also being SASSY is my religion BIATCH".

And we got a bit of that, sure. But it was a bit, not the avalanche I expected. I was bearable.

After all, this is just a random video. There's nothing plot-related here. Heck, there's not even too much Sanders Sides stuff, because this GRWM clearly was Thomas' attempts to reconnect with the character. I shouldn't care too much about it. I shouldn't overanalyze it.

But you know me: you know I love to over-analyze. And if you know me, you also know that Remus is my favorite child, but Janus has a special place in my heart and if one little thing about him is off I will start rambling.

Hence why I will overanalyze the shit out of these 9 minutes of a video and I will do what I shouldn't do, i.e. look back into the past's characterization. Not for shaming Mr. Sanders for not remembering it (even if the videos still exist and he can watch them too if he wants), but to remind you all of Janus' personality. The public needs to remember what kind of character he was and who he became.

So I'll over-analyze everything and no, you can't escape. You're stuck with me here, so put your seatbelt on, because you're in for one of the things I love the most: talking about Janus.

The importance of nuance

Let's talk about make-up a little bit. Don't worry, by the end you will understand my point.

The current make-up isn't even comparable to the past one. And if a lot of people complain about it and prefer the old one, it's not because they're all demanding: it's because of nuances.

Let me explain and let's start with the current photo Mr. Sanders showed to promote the GRWM video:

If you look at this make-up, your eyes will inevitably be drawn towards that sharp black line. And as soon as you will look at it, you will immediately register it as a drawn line.

It's so clear and so evident it's a line, I can literally see the black liquid eyeliner, the tip and the hand tracing that line on Thomas' skin.

But this line isn't supposed to be a line: it's supposed to be/resemble a snake's mouth.

Now, look at the past make-up:

The line isn't sharp black: the line is nuanced. You can see a bit of brown and a hint of red/pink to give it depth and emphasize the shadow.

Also, this color is very similar to the little shadow given by Thomas' upper lip on the lower one, so it looks more natural against his skin tone. It doesn't seem like something added on him, but on something that was already part of him. And isn't that the goal of make-up? To add something and disappear, so people won't notice it exists in the first place?

Look at the eye as well: the past one is a softer, more nuanced pink. It looks more natural, against Thomas' skin tone. The present one is so dark, it looks more like a bad bruise.

So the problem with the current make-up isn't just that the colors aren't the same: it's that the current colors are too much. They're too sharp, too saturated and, consequently, too fake. It's clear that Thomas wears make-up, while in the past the blend was softer, the colors closer to Thomas' actual complexion. Consequently, the make-up faded and gave us an illusion of reality.

I know Mr. Sanders had skin conditions and everything, but I'm talking about colors and nuances here. Two things a make-up artist should know better than me, an idiot on the Internet who loves art, color theory and learns from artists on the web. You can obtain these things independently of the used products.

So my opinion on the make-up would be: please Mr. Sanders, switch for softer tones, no sharp black and no coral. Too much. Nuance is the key.

And not just for make-up.

---

The fakeness of reality tv

Janus enjoys reality television because nothing about it is real. His specific words are:

I very much enjoy reality television: the scheming, the plotting, the lying. Every person for himself and even on top of that, all of the production none of reality television is actually real. It's just delightful.

I get the idea behind it and I understand why Thomas thought it was a good choice. On paper, it works: Janus should enjoy this kind of show because it's made of lies and he's Deceit.

But if I follow this line of thought, I inevitably meet with Janus from Into the Unknown:

[Patton]: Well yeah I guess you'd like it, everyone all dressed up, disguised as someone else... [Janus]: How is it we've had so many of these visits and you still know so little about me?

Janus himself said that not everything associated with lies is something he enjoys. And it makes sense, because Logan too said the same thing in the last Aside:

"Is that all I am to you? The reading guy?"

So now I'm asking: why does he like reality tv? Just because it's fake? Then why is he so happy about it being fake? Reality tv should represent reality, it should mirror how society works. And thanks to SvS, we know Janus doesn't hold society into high consideration:

[Deceit]: Society itself is a lie! (...) You get enough people to share a piece of land and breathe the same air and... you've got a society. Why? It's just a bunch of people in the same general area. It's an abstract concept, as real as the monster under your bed! But we obey these rules or get punished for breaking them. All in the name of society. It's absurd and terrifying.

Just like society, reality tv has a group of people put together and they make a society. It's an abstract concept, as real as the monster under your bed. And these people must obey the rules or get punished for breaking them.

And yet, Janus doesn't think reality tv is "absurd and terrifying", but "delightful".

Again: why does he like it? Why does he like something so similar to what he hates most?

Maybe you can live with the "It's fake" explanation and that's good for you. But what if instead of liking reality tv because "it's fake", Janus likes it, because it perfectly mirrors the flaws and the emptiness of society? What if he enjoys it, because he loves the irony of society using its own means to unmask itself and show its real face? What if he watches it, not because "it's delightful", but because it's bittersweet to see such an inability to understand your own flaws?

Which explanation do you think is more fitting for his character?

---

Remus eats glue sticks

Of course he does. His digestive system is probably able to digest molten lava, so glue sticks are a walk in the park for him, bless his chaotic soul <3

(Have I already said Remus is my favorite boi?)

---

The possibilities of shedding

Okay, the "Have you considered not having pores?" is hilarious and I love it on multiple levels.

Well, here we are. Janus sheds, two to four times a year. And I know the fandom went crazy over this and I'm happy for you... but I never really cared too much about it.

I mean: it's fine, but I can't really think of anything truly special to headcanon about it. Snakes shed their skin all the time and they just chill around, while slowly peeling their skin off. It's not dangerous, it doesn't hurt, it's just exfoliation time✨. I mean, does it hurt you, when you remove sunburnt skin? Don't think so. The worst thing for snakes is probably not being able to take the skin off with hands, since they don't have hands.

But hey, this is canon now, so I should probably integrate it in my headcanon. And I can do it in two different ways:

The shedding is just part of Janus' routine: twice a year he gets one day off, takes a reeeeally long bath and slowly peels off his skin until he's done.

I can take inspiration from this fanart and imagine the shedding as a real "leaving your body behind" process, in which Janus slowly gets submerged into his room and re-emerges as a form of pure power and instincts, which then solidifies into a new body. I think I like this idea more, because when I go with Janus, I need something that makes him look either more god-like or more monster-like.

And since we're talking about snake traits, how many more does he have? Because I already added a few on my list, like:

sunbathing

climbing trees

laying everywhere (especially on trees)

taking long relaxing baths

And I'm just waiting for an excuse to add "mating". But I suppose only future will tell.

---

What you don't like

"An important aspect of being oneself, in addition to knowing what you like, is knowing what you don't like and saying to that thing: ew get away from me, I don't like you... Roman"

Okay, that was genuinely funny and it made me smile, so kudos for that, Mr. Sanders. It was a clever move and I enjoyed it.

Also, for more reasons I will explain further down, this makes me want to write a conversation between Janus and Roman, to study how they work together, why they don't like each other and their personalities in general. My only problem would be to put it on a timeline, because I don't like to write things suspended in a temporal vacuum. If inspiration strikes, maybe I'll do it.

---

Religion... and self-preservation

Now, I don't know who made that question about Jesus Christ, but you. You. You gave me real fear... but also indirectly confirmed one of my headcanons, so thank you, I suppose.

I was bracing myself, waiting and hoping Thomas didn't say anything stupid, because Janus and religion have a super tight bond and one misstep can lead to me rambling for the rest of my life, all while throwing canon into the trash because no one can say anything wrong about the relationship Janus has with religion, not even Mr. Sanders.

But the answer was... okay. Harmless. A bit simplistic, maybe, but I can accept Janus saying that Jesus is cool for having followers and turning water into wine.

What really struck me the most was when he said Jesus is his style because "he refuses to die".

For me, that's the most important part of the video. You can take away everything else, because this is the only part that matters for me.

Why? Because this is the essence of self-preservation. Because, as I said in the past, self-preservation is that force that protects you from dangers, threats, even yourself. And it protects you from death. It's part of that intrinsic will to live that defines all living creatures.

So, since Janus encompasses this role too, it has always been implied (at least for me) that he's that force that will fight against death until the end, just to make Thomas live a little longer. In my headcanon, he literally refuses to think Thomas can die before his time, because he's built to not make this happen.

Hence why when I saw Janus putting such emphasis on the idea that Jesus refuses to die made me immensely happy, because it's (implied) canon. Janus refuses to die, because he will never surrender to death. Because it's his nature, to never surrender to it.

---

Deceit or Ego?

The snake telepathy part was fun when mentioned, then it was followed by the "memememe I'm gorgeous" part, which is perfect if you're the representation of Ego, a bit less if you're deceit.

Speaking of that, I think there's a bit of confusion in Thomas' mind regarding these two aspects. And since they're represented by two different Sides, the contrast is even more jarring.

Janus is confident and this is part of his personality. But confidence isn't repeating "me" in your head 400 times and telling yourself that you're gorgeous and handsome even when sitting still. This isn't confidence, this is Ego. This is something Roman could say to himself... and he did it, in the past. He looked at himself all the time, called himself gorgeous, asked if his makeup was okay because the prince's gonna slay, said he dramatically serenaded himself in front of the mirror. All these things are a constant reconfirmation of yourself and this is what the Ego does: it constantly reconfirms you're great and cool and gorgeous.

Confidence, on the other hand, doesn't need constant confirmations. If you're confident, you already know you're great, you don't need to repeat it yourself. You just do your things and if others criticize you, you shrug their reprimands off.

One example of confidence from this video? This part:

"What are my guilty pleasures?" Guilty pleasures? Why would a pleasure be guilty? I've got none of those. Indulge in your pleasures guilt-free, people: life is short.

This proves Janus is confident, WAY MORE than him repeating how cool he is. This is the tone he should've had for most of the video, not that "Oh, look at how cool I am".

Also because it may seem a paradox, but the more you repeat how cool you are, the less people will believe you. That's why people who constantly show off are perceived as weak and insecure: because they search for a constant reconfirmation they would probably never need, if they were truly confident.

---

All of the selfcare - and what else?

Aside from the things I already mentioned, the rest of the video is mostly made of advice like "your opinion is the only one that matters/others are less than you/don't give a shit about others".

I don't know if this is Mr. Sanders making a reminder to himself to not indulge in criticism too much, but okay, let's ignore it XD

These pieces of advice can all be traced back to another aspect of Janus' personality: the self-care one. The last canonical one.

And since it's the last, I can understand why Thomas latched onto it and made it be like 60% of the video. It's probably the part of Janus' character he remembers the most.

And it's the easiest too, along with the "sassy" aspect. Put them together and you get the sassy queen who tells you to relax dear, don't give a fuck about the rest of the world.

So I understand you, anon, when you say this is the best characterization in a while: it is, because it's based on the last canonical piece of Janus' character, mixed with the "sassy" aspect that developed more recently. Of course it seems more coherent with Janus' character, compared to him being drunk for an entire video.

But even if canonical, self-care is just an aspect of Janus' personality and it makes most of the video. The remaining part is a huge amount of Ego, which shouldn't even be here, because it's Roman's trait.

And the other aspects? Nowhere to be seen. No distaste for society, no cryptic language, no wittiness, barely any lie, barely any real confidence, barely any body language and zero foreseeing ability.

I know what you're thinking and yes, I said at the beginning that this video is clearly just a way for Mr. Sanders to reconnect with the character. So I understand why Janus' personality is like that and that there are mistakes or incomplete things. I am not blaming Thomas for trying.

I am writing this post, to remind you Janus' full personality. To remind you that he's not just "sassy wine aunt/self-care queen".

On the contrary, I think present Janus is exactly like his make-up: the traits are similar to the original one, but the aspects are too sharp. They should be here, they are part of him, but they're not in the exact shade or nuance to be him. They are similar, but off, because something is missing. And that something is nuance.

In the end, that's what this post is all about: nuance. Past Janus was more nuanced, because he was more than one aspect. Present Janus is less nuanced, because he's stuck between two aspects - which is a truly cruel irony, considering his entire thing is being a gray, multifaceted character.

My only hope is that, just like with the make-up, Mr. Sanders will find a way to bring nuances back into Janus' character and make him at least similar to who he used to be.

[lefaystrent]

Friendly Neighborhood Criminals Part 5

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: platonic Patton/Dark Sides

Summary: Patton has never celebrated Halloween before. His new friends find this unacceptable. Que spooky shenanigans.

Ao3 Link: click here

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

A/N: DnDeceit (Hazgarn) asked for Halloween shenanigans. I am here to deliver.

Also, since it will probably never come up in the story specifically, Patton is 20, Virgil 25, Remus 31, and Janus 36.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Turn to the left. Little more. Okay, hold on."

Brush bristles graze across Patton's cheekbone up into his temple. It's a tickle he's gotten used to over the past thirty minutes or so, but reflexively he giggles now and then. It's like eyelashes kissing his skin in little butterfly flutters! So light and calming.

Virgil sits with him on Patton's bed, both of them facing each other. He works with his tongue caught between his teeth in concentration. Colorful palettes of blushes and eyeshadow dominate the space around them, courtesy of Virgil's personal collection. Some of it dusted across Patton's sheets, despite Virgil's best efforts, but Patton assured him that it was part of the fun! There's no way Patton can be upset with Virgil anyway. Not after he's graciously volunteered to do Patton's Halloween makeup!

Virgil's own under eye shadow has been replaced this evening. The eyes are still smokey, yet softer in a blend of purple and silver highlights. Tiny stars and moons are painstakingly painted around his brows and the corners of his eyes, accentuated by glued on rhinestones. Together with his matte, plumb lipstick, Virgil's face looks ethereally beautiful.

He still hasn't told Patton what his costume is. Patton keeps guessing and Virgil gives a secretive smile without letting on either way.

"Is it an anime magical girl?"

"Do I look like I could pull off being a magical girl?"

"I think you could pull off anything, Virge. You're very pretty."

"Aww, it's cute that you think compliments will work on me."

And Patton giggles again just because he's happy. Lately, he and Virgil have been texting and hanging out a lot. He's closer to Patton age-wise, so it's easier to connect on that front. More than that, Virgil possesses a quiet passion about him that is borne from more than a mere desire to produce art. It extends to his friends' well-being with an uncanny attention for detail. Patton has seen it in the way that he worries for Remus and Janus and the gruff ways he checks in on them to make sure they're taking care of themselves.

It's a more unrefined version of the way Janus goes about taking care of people, but no less endearing. Patton wonders if Virgil is conscious of emulating him, if that's where he's learned it. Janus is downright parental, always feeding them and reminding them to rest. Watching them with eyes that know more than what his boys tell him and able to glean the sources of their struggles without them ever having to voice them. It's different than Patton's own parents...

Remus, on the other hand, is akin to a bold big brother in his protective instincts. Constantly teasing, unerring in his acts of affection. Patton has learned in large part to Remus's efforts that touches are not a warning to impending punishment, or that they have to hurt. Remus gives swaddling hugs and cuddles that make you feel safe, and Patton has steadily become addicted to them.

Virgil though, he reminds Patton of his friend Valerie, how they were back in high school. In those days, Patton could forget for a while about home and the fear that waited for him there at the end of each day. When they were together, they could talk about anything they wanted, whether it be dreams or pep rallies or theater club or places they wanted to go. It brought peace of mind and Patton is forever grateful to her.

And now, Patton feels the same about Virgil. He hasn't described his feelings to him yet, not knowing if Virgil feels the same. Also, he doesn't know if he's allowed to have two best-friends. Valerie is still close in his heart, and they text or call most days. But now he's kind of doing the same thing with Virgil, and it feels so easy, and Virgil is so different than Valerie or Patton in the most wonderful way! What is he to do? This is untreked territory!

If a person can have two best friends, Patton would choose Virgil.

"I think that's it. Look forward for me," Virgil commands, sitting down the brush. Patton follows his instruction and Virgil leans from side to side to check the symmetry.

"I'm sure it looks wonderful," Patton insists. "You're really talented."

"Still not telling you."

A laugh tumbles out, care-free. "I wasn't trying that time! Promise! I really mean it, Virge."

"Well, I'm glad that you think that then."

Patton shakes his head. He has found that Virgil struggles when accepting compliments. It's not so...dissimilar from his own predicament. Patton hopes that helping Virgil may help himself one day. Besides, Virgil deserves all the compliments!

"Wanna take a look?" Virgil holds out a handheld mirror. Patton takes it and lets out a gust of breath at viewing the final product. "Wow, Virge. This is... This is just, wow."

Patton barely recognizes himself. The sockets of his eyes are caverns that stretch out into hatching lines, like shadowy pieces of hay. Stitch-work decorates his lips and travels farther than the corners of his mouth. And his cheeks appear concave with the shade of blush, very gaunt.

He looks like a spooky scarecrow!

"You like it?" Virgil asks hesitantly.

Patton sits down the mirror. "Like it? I love it! I could crow all day about it!"

Virgil groans, "What have I done?"

Patton can't wait to put on the rest of his scarecrow costume.

***

Virgil drives them back to the lair to meet up with Remus and so that he can change into his own costume. Patton jaunts into the apartment with a pep to his step, enjoying hearing his costume swish with the sound of hay.

Remus sits/lays on the couch upside down. He's wearing a full-body black and red spandex costume like a superhero but without a mask. There's no make up on his face, but the blood rushes to his face something fierce.

"Why are you guys walking on the ceiling?" Remus asks.

Virgil snorts and knocks him gently in the shoulder with a foot. "Why are you still sulking?"

"I'm not sulking. If anyone sulks, it's you, Incredible Sulk. Mother Sulker. King of the Sulks."

"Yeah, you're still sulking."

"You're sulking?" Patton asks. He kneels down on Remus's other side in concern.

Remus blows a raspberry at Virgil, but answers Patton. "No, I just said I'm not sulking. This is me, not sulking."

"I feel like we've said that word so much that it's not a word anymore," Virgil grimaces. At Patton's questioning look, Virgil explains, "Remus is mad because me and Janus vetoed his costume choice."

"Why? What's wrong with it? It looks fine on him."

"Not this one. He wanted to dress up as Woody from 'Toy Story'."

"Oh, what's wrong with that? That seems pretty wholesome."

"Two words: assless chaps."

"I... I... I'm afraid to ask what those are."

"Please don't. Please just stay pure."

Remus harrumphs to get the attention back on him. "I wanted to get to say 'There's a snake in my butt!' I had a snake prepared and everything!"

"Please, for the love of God, don't explain further than that. I'm gonna go get dressed now, so can you keep Patton company– without corrupting his mind?"

Remus glances over Patton in consideration. "But he looks so corruptible."

"Your funeral if Janus finds out," Virgil says and disappears down the hallway.

Patton remains sitting with Remus who seems unaware that his head is turning into a tomato. He's starting to resemble his costume.

Spurred on by his good mood, Patton initiates physical contact in hopes of comforting him. It's something he's been shy about and only managed with Remus so far, but he's getting better! He pats at Remus's arm.

"If it makes you feel any better, I like this costume. You look super cool."

"Yeah, I do," Remus agrees begrudgingly. "I still wanted to show off my ass, so Deadpool seemed like a good runner up. He's like, my spirit animal, you know? We're ass brothers."

Patton giggles at the zany train of thought. He laughs harder when Remus asks if he'd like a demonstration of how his butt looks in his costume. Remus springs up and strikes a hip-cocking pose, smacking his booty to make it jiggle.

"I know what you're thinking," Remus says, faux-serious. "But I assure you, this dump truck is all natural."

Patton hums thoughtfully, "Yeah, my butt's just filled with hay."

Patton isn't exactly sure why Remus lays on the ground crying with laughter for the next several minutes, but he's incredibly proud all the same.

Virgil walks out in a flowy witch costume complete with crooked pointy hat and buckled boots. When he finds Remus still cackling, he sighs and sweeps at him with his broom until the man can pull himself together.

***

The next step is to pick up Janus.

Patton sits jittery in the backseat of the car. He sings softly along to the radio to the few songs that sound familiar. Remus attempts several times to commandeer the radio only for Virgil to slap his hands every time.

"Driver picks music."

"Then let me drive!"

"Never in a thousand years."

And on they banter over the music. Virgil has always been the driver, and Patton has learned from context that Remus is not allowed to drive anything other than his motorcycle. Even then, the others refuse to ride on the motorcycle with him. Patton has considered riding again with Remus, not remembering much from that one night a couple of months ago when Remus picked him up. Remus has offered too, several times in fact, but Janus and Virgil seem to think it's a death sentence.

They're in the same maroon car as always. Patton thinks that it's Janus's car but Virgil is his designated driver. In the context of them being criminals, Patton has daydreamed Virgil in high-speed chases. But whenever Patton's in the car, Virgil never goes over the speed limit and stops at every red light.

Coming out of his musings, Patton glances out the window to see that they're cruising through a lovely suburban neighborhood. The car slows and pulls up to a one-story house, not overly large. The white garage and front door stand out against the cobalt blue siding. White trim and a white banister around the front porch. Black shingles interrupted by a chimney. A green line of bushes hedge around the side.

It's more unassuming than Patton would have imagined for someone like Janus.

A tall lady in a floor-length white dress and wide brimmed black hat exits the front door and clicks down the driveway in dangerously high pearly heels. Patton blinks and tightens his grip on his seat belt as the unknown woman opens the back door to slide into the car.

Remus wolf whistles. "How much would I have to pay for you to step on me?"

"Honey, I'm priceless," the lady says in Janus's voice.

Patton is suddenly extremely aware that this is not a lady but Janus in costume. His face burns scarlet, and he holds his cheeks in embarrassment.

Janus notices immediately and turns to him. "Everything alright, dear? Your costume is very cute, by the way. Very spooky."

"I didn't realize that was you!" Patton admits. He admires the delicate silk dress. It's long sleeved and Janus's usual yellow gloves are replaced with black fitted lace ones. There's a large black rose sewn into the collar off to one side. And Janus's makeup is pristine in pale foundation, false eyelashes, and fire truck red lipstick.

Janus smiles demurely. "I suppose that's the point of costumes."

"You look really good. I didn't think–" Patton cuts himself off before he says something terribly offensive. Janus cocks a fine eyebrow and sees through him anyway.

"You didn't think I would wear a dress?"

"I... yes? Maybe? I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven. I do tend to wear suits most of the time. I save drag for special occasions."

"There's never a wrong time to dress in drag," Virgil pipes up.

"What's drag?" Patton asks.

There's a moment where they all stare at him, making Patton fear that he said something stupid. But then Remus says, "Okay, we are so watching 'Ru Paul's Drag Race' when we get back home."

Janus gives the most gleeful grin that Patton has ever seen him wear. "Patton, darling, we are going to open up your whole world."

***

Outside the city limits, they reach a sprawling field of pumpkins. Dozens of parents and children and couples and groups of teens in costumes swarm around the pumpkin patch. A line of kiddos mill about at a face-painting booth. Another area offers apple bopping and horseshoe tosses. Further on, tables are set up with various fall themed baked goods for sale.

It's like an October fairytale, or a Halloween Hallmark movie.

"There's so many!" Patton exclaims, gazing out at the ocean of orange vegetables. His fingers press against the car window, and he can hardly drink in one sight before turning to the next.

When the car is put in park, Patton wastes no time in launching out of the car. The evening is crisp and smoke wafts in the wind. There must be a fire pit somewhere nearby. Patton jumps up and down, throwing his arms out wide.

Remus comes over to jump beside him, matching his energy. "Ready to smash some pumpkins, Pattycake?"

"Let's smash all the pumpkins!" Patton squeals, delirious in his excitement.

"But the farmers worked so hard for their bounty," Janus chides. "Maybe limit it to a handful?"

"An-ar-chy! An-ar-chy!" Virgil starts cheering, and well, Janus can't stop the rampant rebellion after that.

Janus watches the three of them run off together, shaking his head with a put-upon sigh. He's not going to spoil their spirits, but he sure as hell is not chasing after them in six-inch pumps through the grass.

A tugging at Janus's skirt pulls his attention downwards. Beside his legs, a little girl in a bumblebee costume gazes up at him imploringly.

"Do you know where the bathroom is?"

Someone save him.

Patton, Virgil, and Remus do not in fact destroy pumpkins. They purchase a few and carry them over to the carving station that's set up. Patton scrutinizes the carving knife, and Virgil takes the blade before he can reach for it and hacks his open for him.

"It's all stringy!" Patton gasps after the top is removed. He reaches in and grabs a handful of pumpkin mixed with pale seeds.

"Guts! Glorious guts everywhere!" Remus whoops as he tosses his pumpkin bits into the air to land back on him in a mess.

"Ay, watch it," Virgil snaps and leans out of the splash zone. Patton, feeling mischievous, picks up a clump of pumpkin and drapes it over Virgil's shoulder. Virgil notices immediately of course and gives him an unimpressed look. "Really, Pat?"

Patton giggles, "I'm just having a gourd time."

The pumpkins are emptied and the real carving can begin. Patton's is a mishappen silly face while Virgil forgoes a face at all. Instead, he works to shape a couple of bats flying over a haunted house. Remus gets halfway through his before Virgil spies what he's making and unceremoniously smashes his pumpkin.

"This is a family friendly event," Virgil warns him.

"Prude."

"I'm not letting you get us kicked out. Think of the child."

"What?" Patton pops his head up. "Where's Janus by the way?"

They eventually spot Janus whiling the time away sitting on a rectangular hay bale. There's a group of kids piled around him in a semi-circle on the ground, listening to him tell scary stories. People seem to be under the impression that he works for the event.

Remus goes to get another pumpkin. Not to carve but to play with the guts again. Patton finishes his carving and does another silly face on Remus's second pumpkin. Virgil finishes his work of art and Patton fawns over it so much that Virgil offers for him to keep it. He's a little startled by the strength of the hug Patton gives him.

***

Following the pumpkin patch, their next stop is a haunted house. It's not a legitimate haunted house, thankfully. It's an attraction where people pay to go through dark hallways and be jump scared by workers dressed in costumes. By the time they arrive, Patton is struck by one important detail.

"How dark do you think it is in there?" Patton asks.

They're standing in line to wait for their turn to enter. It's a popular place with no small budget. There are large pieces of ghosts and ghouls lit up by spotlights. Fog billows out from machines. A few workers dressed in costume walk out from behind curtains now and then to up the anticipation. Patrons who have already gone through come back around to line up again.

"I've never been to one myself," Janus admits, looking to the others for an answer.

Remus waves his hand sideways in the air, noncommittal, "Eh, mostly dark? It depends. In some areas, there can be flashing light or low light. Like a static-y TV or flickering bulbs."

"If it was pitch black, it'd be a tripping hazard," Virgil points out. "Plus, you wouldn't be able to see the monsters trying to scare you. Not that you'll see all of them. They'll try to scare you with sound too."

"Still feeling up to it?" Janus questions Patton. "There's no shame if you want to back out now."

"Are you just saying that because you want to wimp out?" Remus suggests with a smirk.

Janus scoffs, "I don't feel fear."

"You guys already bought the tickets though," Patton says hesitantly. Then, pulling himself up in his overalls, he huffs out air in determination. "Besides, this will be fun! I want to do this with you guys."

If he could sleep in his apartment with a nightlight, he could do this. And he would have the others with him. He could be brave, with them.

Janus scoops up his hand and a bit of the gusto flees him. In its place is warmth and stability.

"If it gets too much, just take my hand, alright?"

The warmth spreads to Patton's cheeks. He hums out a positive and smiles. He scoots a bit closer, and Janus doesn't release his hand so Patton doesn't either.

Remus shows the door attendant their online tickets from his phone, and they all get slapped with wristbands. There are last minute reminders, assurances that the workers are not allowed to touch them and warnings that some of the lights may cause seizures. Patton doesn't think he'll have a problem with the lights, and it's a huge relief that no strangers will be touching him.

In they go into the dark and Patton braces himself by gripping Janus's hand tighter. They bring up the rear with Remus and Virgil leading the pack.

There are whispered voices and random shouts from afar. A growl sounds behind them but when Patton twists around, there's nothing there.

The first major room they come to is not accessible. It's behind a rusty chain link fence. Patton can peek inside to see in the red glow of an exit sign that it's similar to a hospital scene. A lone wheelchair sits empty in the middle and slowly starts rolling about a foot on its own.

"The ghosts of patients' past," Remus murmurs.

Then a figure slams into the fence, causing them all to step back. It's a bloodied nurse, snarling at them.

"Oh, that's such a good costume!" Patton applauds, literally clapping. "The blood looks so real!"

"Thanksssss," the nurse hisses and crawls back down into her hiding spot.

"Not scared yet, Pat?" Virgil asks skeptically.

Patton grins. "This is fun! Let's keep going!"

Onward they walk through more hallways and find more rooms. There's a little living room area where a figure sits in front of a TV illuminated in static. Patton approaches to get a better look and the person comes alive. A zombie with a knife stuck in its chest jumps up and roars at Patton.

Peals of laughter escape Patton even as Janus flinches back. "Ahh, you got me good!"

And the next room features a torture chamber. A muscled person wearing an executioner's hood stands by a crude operating table with a half-covered body.

"Spin the wheel," a deep, gravelly voice beckons and the man points at a stained standing wheel. It features sections labeled as different body parts.

"Ooh, points for interactive," Virgil praises. "Waddya say, Pat? Wanna spin to win?"

"Can I?!" Patton exudes pure enthusiasm and bounces up beside the wheel.

"Aren't you a little too eager?" Janus cautions.

Remus shushes him. "Do your worst, Pattycake!"

Patton let's go of Janus's hand long enough to throw his weight into a spin. It ticks rapidly as it spins and spins until finally landing on HAND.

The executioner laughs menacingly and saws off a hand at the wrist. Red liquid spurts out and an echoing scream comes from all around them as if there are built in speakers. It's gruesome and Janus wrinkles his nose at it. Remus chuckles when the executioner takes the dismembered hand and waves it at them.

"I gotta hand it to these guys, they really go all out," Patton says as they continue down the hall.

"Hand, ha ha," Virgil mock laughs.

Patton lights up, "Oh! Oh! That was a pun, wasn't it? I made a pun!"

"Don't pretend that wasn't intentional."

"But it wasn't, I swear! Oh my goodness!" Patton giggles beside himself, so caught up in his own unexpected pun that he misses the scary ghost lady sneaking up behind them to screech in their ears.

Janus full on shrieks. He stumbles with Patton and backs them away, cursing while Patton is still giggling. The ghost lady cackles and drifts behind a curtain, gone from sight.

Remus and Virgil are doubled over themselves, and Patton realizes they are laughing at Janus.

"Oh my god, you're such a sissy!" Remus grabs onto Virgil to keep from falling over. "I'm gonna start calling you Hissy Sissy!"

Flustered, Janus deflects, "What are you talking about? That was Patton screaming, not me."

Virgil waves his hand at Patton. "Does he look scared in the slightest?"

Patton is in fact still grinning. "I'm just really happy to be here."

Remus claps a hand on Patton's back. "Who knew our little puffball would have balls of steel?"

Patton doesn't really. He's surrounded by friends in a haunted house full of people who worked really hard on their costumes and scare tactics and set designs. These are employees and devotees of Halloween who have come together in the spirit of the season. How could Patton find any of that scary?

The things he's truly afraid of, the real scary bits...he left that behind him.

***

END NOTES

Here are some fun facts about this chapter that I simply could not find a way to work in naturally but still wanted to share.

1. Patton's first costume idea was to dress up as Stitch from Lilo and Stitch. But when Virgil offered to do his makeup, they kind of spiraled into different ideas until Patton landed on scarecrow. If Patton instead went ahead as Stitch, Janus wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face and would have thoroughly gushed about how cute Patton is and fawn over him. Patton would have been overwhelmed by the affection influx and started bawling his eyes out. Shame that didn't happen. :)

2. Janus is dressed up as Lady Dimetrescu from the horror game Resident Evil 8. It's very similar vibes to Thomas's photo shoot of Janus in a dress.

3. There's a pumpkin carving contest at the pumpkin patch. Virgil wins second place.

4. At the pumpkin patch, Janus improvises all the scary stories he's telling the children. It's mostly cautionary tales against society. He's also lowkey distraught to be at the center of attention for so many impressionable youths and keeps glancing to the others for help the entire time, but the others are like, "Eh, he's fine. Totally in his element."

5. Remus introduced Patton to magical girls anime. He started with Madoka Magica. If you don't know, it's an anime that subverts the genre and a girl gets decapitated in one of the first episodes. Patton is appalled but keeps watching because he desperately wants for there to be a happy ending.

6. At the haunted house attraction, Patton ends up leading Janus by the hand, much to Janus's embarrassment. In the background, Virgil gets jump scared so hard by an employee that he accidentally socks them in the face. In a panic, he and Remus drag their unconscious body into a random chair so it looks like the poor person is part of the set design. They quickly walk away like nothing happened. Janus sees it happen, but distracts Patton so he's none the wiser.

7. They all go to waffle house afterwards for dinner. Remus takes pictures with a bunch of people who think he makes a great Deadpool. Virgil chugs down an entire milkshake on a dare. He regrets it later. Patton makes a smiley face out of his waffle pieces and bacon. Nobody comments on it, but it's really precious. Patton does it because he's remembering the pumpkin carving fondly.

8. Finally, they all go back to the lair, pile on the couch, and watch TV while binge-eating tons of candy. They shove piles of candy at Patton just to see him go wide eyed. When Patton protests, Virgil empties a whole bag by pouring it on him. They end up watching scary movies and save Ru Paul's for another day. When they do eventually get Patton to watch Ru Paul's, it is a very enlightening experience for him.

9. Patton passes out during the movie marathon. It's the first time that he spends the night outside of his apartment, and that boy is conked the fuck out in a sugar crash. Remus challenges himself to roll Patton up in a blanket burrito. Patton never wakes up, even when Remus picks his cocooned form up, holds him to his chest, and starts doing his best impression of Golem, "My precioussss."

10. And if you made it this far, you get to find out that while Remus is busy swaddling the baby, Janus and Virgil have a cryptic conversation about their boss. Patton never asked them why they broke into his apartment, but it doesn't matter. It's a waiting game, and they fear whether Patton will come out intact when the other shoe drops.

[th3w00ds]

Hey I saw your requests were open? If that's still the case then I'd love to request a Natemare x reader that has some sanders sides fic where the reader has been dating Mare for awhile so the reader decides to finally introduce Mare to there best friend of many years, Virgil. If that's possible, please and thank you.

Of course!!!

I Lie Inside Myself for Hours

@namelessmunster

Title From: Imaginary by Evanescence

Fandom: Youtuber Egos + Sanders Sides

AU: None

Content Warnings: Not proofread

----------------------------------------

As you were standing in front of the Sides house, it occurred to you for the fifteenth time that day that Natemare, your boyfriend, had never met the Sides. You didn’t know if they’d even get along.

The reason you were here other than introduce him to your friends was to see your best friend of many years, Virgil. He was an anxious guy, but somehow you were closest to him out of the Sides rather than one would probably expect your best friend to be, like Logan or Patton.

But Anxiety was the one who you were closest to. You’d known Virgil for around five years, since Thomas had invited you over saying that he “wanted you to meet a few people.” It turned out that those people were parts of himself. 

You sighed, and knocked on the door, then turning to Mare. “It won’t be that long, usually Roman- Creativity gets the door within a few seconds,” 

“Yeah? Wellll, I can’t help but notice it’s taking a few more than that, isn’t it Y/N?” He said sarcastically, looking around the outside of the house. Oh yeah, he’d for sure get along with Virgil. 

Around ten seconds later Roman opened the door, and he smiled at the sight of you. He called out to the other Sides, “Y/N IS HERE!!!”

Then he looked back at you and his eyes turned to Mare. “Ohh, who is this now? Your lover? What’s his name? How did you meet-“ 

“Roman!! Shut!!!” You said, interrupting him. That man never stopped with his romance questions if he figured one was interested in it. 

“Awww… fine, I’ll save them for later. But do I at least get to know his name?” Roman said.

You looked over at Mare, and he smiled.

“I’m Natemare, but if you want you can call me Mare,” He told Roman, shaking his hand. 

“Well.. come in! Virgil will be happy to see you, Y/N!” Roman said, moving out of the way. 

“Who’s Virgil?” Mare asked you as you both walked into the house.

“He’s my best friend,” You answered.

“And you’ve never introduced me to him? Shame upon you,” He said jokingly, “How dare you not introduce me to everyone you know.” 

“Shut up,” you said, laughing a little. 

“Hmm… no!” He replied. “Y’know, I am curious as to who the other Sides are. Roman was certainly a… character,” 

“That’s just how he is,” you said. You then saw Logan, Patton and Janus hanging out in the living room, playing some kind of board game.

Patton looked up first, and pretty much shouted in excitement. “Y/N! You’re here! I’m so happy, it’s been way too long,” 

“Patton, it has been two weeks since Y/N has last visited.” Logan said, placing a piece on the board. Janus looked at you, slightly smiling, and then he looked at Mare.

“Oh, great, there are two emos here now.. I’m so thrilled,” He said, and he rolled his eyes.

“You remind me of my younger brother,” Mare said to Janus. 

“Amazing,” Janus said flatly. Patton then went up to Mare.

“What’s your name? Are you human? Also, I’m Patton, Thomas’s Morality, Logan is his Logic and Janus is his… Deceit,” He said. 

“I’d suggest stopping with the rampant questions, Patton, he’s already been questioned enough by Roman,” Logan said.

“It’s okay. I’m Natemare, and no, I’m not human. I’m a siren,” Mare answered Patton. 

“Like the beings that lured sailors to their deaths in Greek Mythology?” Logan asked. 

Mare nodded, “Exactly. Most people I meet get scared when they hear that, so it’s kind of new that people aren’t.. you know, trembling and backing away just because of that.” 

“It wouldn’t be nice to judge you based on what you are!” Patton said, smiling once more. 

“Hypocrite,” Janus quietly said with anger while out of earshot of Patton. Which was true. Out of all the light Sides, Patton was the one who judged the dark Sides based on what they were the most. 

“That’s nice. It was nice meeting all of you, Y/N has mentioned all of you once or twice,” Mare said. 

“You did?!” Patton said happily. 

You nodded. “Yeah. Also, Patton, do you know where Virgil is?” You asked. You hadn’t seen the emo nightmare yet, which was odd. Usually he was one of the first to come talk to you when you came over. 

“Yes, where is that raccoon? He disappeared right when you showed up,” Janus said. 

“He’s downstairs,” Patton replied, “Probably on the couch, poor kiddo. I wonder what’s up with him today..” 

It might be the fact a new person is here. Virgil didn’t like new people, he never has. It took him a while to trust you, and even more time for him to open up to you. 

“Thank you! We’ll go check on him,” You said, walking down the stairs with Mare.

“So.. if the Sides represent things about Thomas, then what is Virgil?” Mare asked you. 

“Virgil is Thomas’s Anxiety,” you answered his question. “He’s not really a people person,” 

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Mare said. You two reached the bottom, and entered into a second living area. 

You looked around for your best friend, and then saw him on the couch, like Patton said he might be.

He was on his phone, probably scrolling on Tumblr, with his hood up and his headphones in. The music was loud, so loud that you could hear it. It was “I’m Not Okay (I Promise)” by My Chemical Romance, which was Virgil’s self proclaimed “theme song” and one you two often listened to together. 

Well, if listening is counted as screaming the lyrics to it at 3am, then yes, you listened to it together. 

You went up to him and tapped his shoulder a few times. “Virgil??”

He paused his music and looked up, not taking off his hood. “What?” He said with an annoyed tone. You were stunned for a moment. He hadn’t been this blatantly annoyed with you since before you were best friends.

“Uh- I want you to meet someone,” You said, gesturing to Mare. Virgil sighed, and finally took off his hood, taking out his headphones as well. 

“Who?” That was all he said. “Don’t tell me they’re like Roman… or worse, Remus,” 

“Oh, no, he’s not like them at all. This is Natemare, my boyfriend,” You said. Virgil moved to look at Mare, looking him up and down. 

“He’s your boyfriend? Huh. Wait, first of all, WHEN did you get a boyfriend? You’ve never mention this to me before,” he said, his annoyance slightly going away. 

“We’ve been dating for six months,” Mare answered for you. 

“Six months??? Y/N, you’ve been over here  eight times in that time and you’ve NEVER mentioned this??? I would’ve thought that you would tell me whenever you got a partner, since you’re, you know, my best friend!” Now the annoyance was back. Virgil did seem mad, as he raised his voice slightly.

“Hi.. I don’t want us to bother you, we can leave if you want,” Mare said. “Also.. were you listening to MCR? They’re one of my favorite bands, and I’m Not Okay is a good song.” 

Virgil was silent for a few moments, and then spoke. “No, you guys can… stay if you want. I want Y/N here at least,” He said.

“Alright,” You said. “Can I sit next to you?” You asked. Virgil simply nodded, and moved so you could sit next to him.

You sat down, and Mare sat down too. You moved closer to him, and Virgil sort of.. glared?? Does he think that just because you have a boyfriend, you’re going to abandon him or something?

“Virgil.. I’m not going to leave you, and I’m not going to stop being friends with you just because I have a boyfriend,” You said, trying to reassure him due to his unspoken feelings. 

“Who said I thought that? I wasn’t saying that,” He said. Mare laughed.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna steal your best friend from you or something,” 

Virgil… actually laughed at that. That was a good sign. 

That was probably the quickest time he laughed at something someone he just met said, even when you had first met him.

You could tell they’d get along great. Eventually. 

[snowdice]

Face the Music (Sometimes Labels Shift Series)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Logan/Patton, (background) Patton & Virgil, Logan & Virgil

Characters: 

Main: Patton, Logan

Mentioned: Virgil

Summary: Patton and Logan have a small chat about healing between Wind Symphony and Wind Symphony: The Sequel.

This is a dealing with events set after my story Sometimes Labels Fail.

Notes: Superhero AU (not that it matters), past emotional abuse, references to a nontypical trigger, though said trigger has been dealt with in therapy and is mostly under control though not gone

“You don’t have to go,” Logan said when Patton was halfway through pulling off his shirt. Patton finished pulling off the shirt to squint at him. He wasn’t wearing his glasses, so Logan’s form was blurry, but he was sitting on their bed looking at him.

“I know I don’t have to go,” said Patton. He turned to grab the sleeping shirt he’d set out and pulled it over his head.

“Virgil wouldn’t care,” Logan said. “I would be the more likely candidate to take him shopping for such a thing considering the research I’ve done into the topic anyway. I doubt he has any expectations that you will come.”

Patton frowned as he slipped his glasses back onto his face, turning Logan from a blurry mess of blue into a man wearing a blue t-shirt. “Maybe he wouldn’t,” Patton said, “but you don’t know that.”

“Patton,” Logan said, his brow creased in the way that it did only when he was attempting to do a very difficult math equation or was trying to process emotions on the fly. “You once almost had a panic attack because a musician attempted to hand you a violin.”

“That was years ago,” Patton bristled, “and I’d been having a bad day. The violin was not the problem.”

“Perhaps not,” Logan agreed, “but it was a problem.”

“A music shop is not a house of horrors for me,” Patton said. It was the truth even if it felt just a bit like a lie. What he remembered from the music shop of his childhood, the one he’d have to go to for new music books every time he completed his old ones, was an old man who would freeze Patton in place with his gaze (even when he wasn’t actually doing so with his powers), ancient instruments on the walls that Patton’s young mind had imagined being used in blood rituals, and an overwhelming sense of foreboding. He thought normal music shops probably were not like that.

Logan was still frowning, so Patton crossed to the bed and reached for his face. He kissed him on the nose.

“I want to be there,” he told Logan. “Playing the clarinet is something that Virgil loves, and I want to support him in every way I can. I will not be like my mother and that both means not making him play an instrument if he doesn’t want to and encouraging him to do so if he does want to.”

It was easier said than done. If Patton had ever gotten joy from playing a violin, he did not remember it. Thoughts of playing a musical instrument filled him with an uncomfortable squirming sensation even after all of these years. It was a knee-jerk reaction to not want Virgil to experience the same thing, but he was not his knee-jerk reactions. He’d been very careful to keep his instinctual thoughts to himself (and occasionally to Logan when it felt unhealthy to keep them bottled up).

Virgil liked playing music. It made him happy. Sometimes Patton had to remind himself of that in order to react appropriately, but that was okay. It was a little more effort in an area most people wouldn’t even have to think about, but it was worth it.

“He does want to,” Patton continued, “so even if that desire isn’t something I will ever be able to relate to, I still need to show up.”

The face between Patton’s hands still seemed unsure. “This is just a small thing,” Logan said. “We already know you’ll be going to all of his performances. You can show up for him without going on this specific outing.”

“Life is made up of small things,” Patton said, shaking his head, “and it’s also short. I am a 56-year-old man. I refuse to live my life in fear of a string instrument. Anymore.”

“Still,” Logan said, reaching up to cup Patton’s hand still on his cheek.

Patton just rolled his eyes fondly. “I appreciate the concern,” he said, “but I’m going.”

Logan opened his mouth to speak.

“No more talking,” Patton said, using his hands to gently push Logan back onto the bed. He leaned most of his weight on him, though his toes still touched the floor. “Just cuddles.”

Logan hesitated, but then gave in. “Very well,” he agreed and then paused a moment. “Could we perhaps cuddle in a more reasonable position?”

“No,” said Patton, tucking his head into Logan’s chest with a smile. Logan sighed under him and reached up to pat his hair.

Patton knew he’d be able to face any music store as long as Logan was with him.

“Face the music,” Patton whispered with a giggle. Logan groaned.

Want to read more? Click below!

Labeled Master Post.

My Masterpost.

[the-astrophel-system]

do you have a list of your fave to least fave sanders sides episodes? ive seen your ts crit and i agree with most of it, but it surprised me that you didn't like svs redux? so which episodes do you like, or dont you like and why?

-🦇

Thanks so much for the question!!! I may go on another rant on specific episodes another time, but I hope this is a satisfying answer! Remember that it is okay to have different opinions, and if you like, share your rankings!

Season One Favourites:

1. Accepting Anxiety 1 & 2. How could I not rank these as my favourites from season one. The messages are getting deeper, the absolute angst and comfort, learning Virgil's name. The importance of accepting your anxiety as a part of yourself. It was honestly so beautiful.

2. My Negative Thinking. I still think this is one of my favourite early episodes. As someone with really bad anxiety, I think of this episode whenever I've having a cognitive distortion. It has helped me calm myself down, rationalise my thoughts, and please, the 'your mum' bit was funny as fuck.

3. Making Some Changes. Thomas' friends portray the sides. Enough said.

4. Alone On Valentine's Day. This one was funny, I like the Sims bit, and again the 'first you take her by the hand' bit. Little weird looking back and seeing Thomas try to woo a girl, but it was funny and it reminds me that friendship and self love is important.

5. A New Year Of Lying To Myself, In Song. First song of the series and boy is it good. Its catchy, it reminds us to be kind on yourself and set yourself up for success. Lovely.

Season One Least Favourites:

1. I'm In A Disney Show. I always, always, always skip this one. Doesn't interest me.

2. Becoming A Cartoon. Again, skip this one. I'm bored.

3. Way Too Adult. This one makes me feel bad because I cannot be an adult, and I feel like a failure! The adultery bit is funny tho, only early on, later in the series, we know Patton is smarter than this.

4. Growing Up. Again, making me feel scared and unsuccessful in my life! Stop calling me out for not having my life sorted or making the most of my potential. Also I cried for Patton in this video.

5. My True Identity. While it was a beautiful introduction, its not one I go back to or rewatch.

Season Two Favourites:

1. Selfishness vs Selflessness. I adore this episode. I absolutely adore it. I agree with everyone else that going to the wedding was terrible, but I love love love this episode. The banter, the one liners, it was so fucking funny, the change of scenery, the plot. I adore it. Favourite episode by far.

2. Dealing With Intrusive Thoughts. Gotta be honest, didn't love Remus at first, but this episode is so important. It's helped me with accepting my own intrusive thoughts.

3. 12 Days Of Christmas. Another beautiful song and I loved it. Adored it, all of them are so silly and funny, and just I loved it. Also the sweaters were adorable, I wish I had Virgil's.

4. Can Lying Be Good. Can an introduction be any more iconic??? I still get shivers when I watch Janus be introduced.

5. Fitting In. Now, I heavily dislike that Thomas STILL supports the Harry Potter franchise, but this episode was so cruicial in Virgil's character arc. Immediately after he is recognised for his importance, he struggles to point out to not put him in a box. And he is listened to. Chef's kiss, love this episode.

Season Two Least Favourites:

1. Working Through Intrusive Thoughts. Disliked it, heavily disliked it. I didn't personally relate to how they portrayed this. I just didn't connect to it and probably won't watch it again.

2. Moving On 1 & 2. I just really disliked these episodes. I don't really know how to explain it. Whenever I watch them, I feel like Virgil in them the entire time (ha, irony). I'm not a nostalgic person, so I relate too heavily to this and it makes me sad when I think about it.

3. Crofter's The Musical. Its cute, maybe because it was just a filler / ad, is the reason why I dislike it. I just always skip it lmao.

4. Why Do We Get Out Of Bed. Existentialism, enough said.

5. Putting Others First, SvS Redux. Now, I know I said I didn't like it, so why is it only 5th in this list? I loved the concept, I really did. But what I didn't like was how certain things were portrayed. Maybe its a mix of me questioning my own morality, but gosh it was hard to watch at points. I don't know how else Thomas could have portrayed certain things, but I didn't like the whole giant Patton Frog thing at all. I loved Janus' arguements, but near the end of the episode (pretty much after he shares his name) I feel like his personality switched up so quickly, it gave me whiplash. I understand that Janus isn't evil, he is just part of Thomas' self preservation. It was just such a dramatic and sudden change, it almost felt like I had missed a season of growth. Janus had only been in 2 episodes previously, its wild to think about. I believe he would've shared his name, but then afterwards immediately joking around with Thomas after being insulted? Why would self protection just allow that mask to stay down? Why wouldn't Janus go instantly back to that mysteriousness and then we need to later encourage Janus to open up again? Maybe Roman apologises and we have a bigger and more in depth discussion in what it means in accepting a "dark side". Maybe all of this will be addressed in the season two finale, but after over 4 years of no episodes, POF just seems rushed and unfinished.

Again! Its okay to have different opinions, feel free to share them below

[dramaticnerdwithanxiety11]

it is batshit crazy to be back into Sanders Sides again. Guys, this hyperfixation sailed shortly before Remus was introduced. I started watching Sanders Sides seven years ago when I was eleven.

I'm eighteen now. I have a massive collection of fandoms, I've posted 124 fanfictions to my Ao3 account and written well more than that, I've read likely billions of words if not more, and re-experiencing an old fandom is. weird.

for a lot of reasons. like i avoid TSS because it reminds me of bad times, and it's labeled CRINGE the same way my septiplier phase is, but it's really not that bad and honestly. chat. i.

look. anxiety is emo, he has brown hair, and he's pathetic. he's literally my type textbook.

Anyways, regardless of that, im losing my shit and it's really crazy to be giggling over the same bullshit i giggled over at eleven and yapping to my friends about things my favorite characters do that Mean Things but then also have like. an adults understanding of the series.

[casey-complains]

What do you think about rewatching the earlier episodes. Im thinking of doing it but im scared il end up not liking it or that it benefits ts in a way.

Also I know you talked about when people started feeling it got bad, and I realise im an outlier being this early but I didnt like it once the new sides started appearing like remus. I think its because it upped in produktion Value at that point i remember it being fun when we saw the sides room now and again but once it was constant i really missed the homemade vibes.

i have.. a complicated relationship with the older videos. on one hand, im deeply nostalgic for sanders sides, and the older videos bring that out the most. it really did seem like a silly passion project thomas had, and something he used as a way to deal with his issues - like you said, homemade vibes!

on the other hand, it feels like looking back on good times with an ex partner youre on bad terms with. sure, its nice to remember when everything felt amazing, but it just reminds you of how bad things are now.. i cant look at old sasi without "this show isnt good anymore" at the forefront of my mind. plus the comments along the lines it being two weeks or so since thomas posted... some things age better than others

there was a point i was going through some old saved edits on instagram, and a particular edit of patton in are there healthy distractions prompted me to watch it, and i enjoyed it briefly! but rewatching the whole series would be too much of an emotional rollercoaster for me tbh

also reminded for all that remus' introduction was only two main episodes ago... and dwit is over 4 years old

[grungeeuvu]

A through Z (minus the ones you've already answered)

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

My favourite ship at the moment is FengQing (Feng Xin X Mu Qing from TGCF) and I am constantly talking @astrowaffles 's ear off about them. Platonically, I'm always mentally ill about the Shiratorizawa team and how they all support each other. Family-wise, I can't get Shen Twin aus out of my head

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

Yaku and Suga from Haikyuu, both platonic and romantic :) I think either way would be really sweet and funny

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

Shiragoshi. I see no appeal in it for either of them and it kinda just gives me the ick

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

Anything with Karasuno first years that aren't the stereotypical main ships except maybe Yamahina. Idk I just feel like Tsuki x either of the volleyball idiots would go terribly and someone would end up getting hurt.

Also, Yachi is very much a lesbian to me and I'm taking that to the grave 🫡

Also, kawagata doesn't click with me. I prefer reongata, since they're both third years and at least had dialogue with each other

For a non Haikyuu pairing, I've got to say giyushino or shinogiyu - I don't know if it's hinted canon or just widely popular but I really can't care for it. I don't hate it, I just have no interest

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

I haven't altered the fandom with it but I made #RichPrinceFuckerVirgil a trend with my friends back in 2019

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

The timeline gets a bit confuddled here but my first otp was either prinxiety (Roman X Virgil from Sanders Sides) or klance (Keith X Lance from VLD)

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

I scoped out the Skulduggery Pleasant fandom and I'm not planning on going back (which sucks because the books are amazing)

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Either Zuko, Tsukki, Mu Qing, or Ming Fan (can you tell I'm a fan of grouchy people with the ability to do good?)

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

As someone very neutral over Asahi, I really have to say that he is portrayed as the ace amazingly. Even though he isn't the main character and can't score all the epic points, he's still an inherently powerful force and you always trust in him when the ball goes his way, as this viewer.

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

Feng Xin :)

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

Reincarnation fics (TGCF)

Multi-chap AU fics (Haikyuu)

ObaMitsu content (KNY)

O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

The song "Black Sheep" by Gin Wigmore reminds me of Hua Cheng/TGCF calamities :))

P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

Sendai Frogs as a forced together bounty hunting crew in a space au that becomes found family 💪

Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

DSMP/MCYT - after Technoblade sadly passed away and then the finale was handled so clumsily, I just couldn't bother with it anymore. However, I still watch a lot of those YouTubers today, like Tommyinnit and Jack Manifold :)

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

Shiratorizawa Third Years for the win!!!!

@/baguantte has an AMAZING piece of fanart for all of them which I regularly return to look at :))

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

Shen Yuan was chronically ill before he transmigrated and he died not just due to choking but because a seizure happened during his rage-eating. We know he's an unreliable narrator, hence why he never mentions this - he hated being ill and felt ashamed by it, so he never wants to think about it now he's no longer sick.

A prompt for this could be Shen Qingqui gets wife plotted and the consequence is far too similar to how he lived his old life that he keeps nearly breaking over it. Could lead to an identity reveal or just some good ol' hurt/comfort

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

Yamagata has clinical depression. Idrk where this came from but it's something I very much stand by and have lots of interlocking ideas with so, yeah, no one is changing my mind on that.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

Mu Qing (TGCF/Heaven Official's Blessing) - he's my favourite because of his complicated character. He says negative things, the rumours about him is how he is cold and unkind, yet we see his actions and behaviour portrayed very differently. He's a truly complicated guy.

Goshiki Tsutomu (Haikyuu) - I've written an essay on him which I now cannot find??? I'll have to fish it out but basically he's a really well written character whom performs so hard despite the anxiety he's visibly under being in such an infamous team

Shen Yuan (SVSSS/Scum Villain's Self Saving System) - he's a nerd who died and is now a hot guy but has the nerve to complain about it, he's just like me and I love that.

V - Which character do you relate to the most?

It sounds dramatic and emo as fuck, but Mu Qing. I just get him on a very deep level.

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

Major Character Death or just Character Death in general - I always find it very cheap or unfulfilling. To get me on board with Major Character Death takes a LOT

X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

The Girlboss X Malewife ship - I don't mind the genders, I don't care for dynamics... if that ship is in there, it's likely to be my favourite!! See FengQing and KyouHaba for reference lol

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

Bnha, Bungo Stray Dogs and a bit of Mob Psycho

Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.)

AHHHHH OKAY UHHH I accidentally got my mother into not just Haikyuu and Demon Slayer but also TGCF?? We've been watching The Untamed together too - she really wants me to read her manga series Boys Over Flowers and I've been meaning to haha

[kookie-doughs]

Your Voice

Oikawa Tooru X Reader

-In a world where only a few people has a soulmate, and they are burdened with a disability until they meet their other half.

Chapter 8: Soulmate

Italic is signed, Bold is written

School hasn't been easy. With how close you are to the volleyball team whilst disabled, you were bound to be talken about behind your back.

They think juat because you can't hear them, you dont know what they're saying. They don't bother hding their moving lips as they laugh about you.

"She's so disgusting. She has a soulmate but she's hanging around Oikawa-sama... like OMG?"

"Her soulsmate must not want to be with her that's why she's still like that."

"What a whore. I heard she's also clinging around Matsukawa and Hanamaki."

"If I had a soulmate and it's her. I'd rather stay disabled, she's disgusting."

This was why you walk with your head down most of the time.

But then you also get reminded why you don't do that. You bump your head into someone.

He had short-cropped blond hair with two black stripes running across the sides of his head, just above the ears, wearing his uniform. He looked down on you with a scowl.

"What the fuck is wrong with you? "

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you. "

"Fucking idiot. "

He then proceeded to walk away. As rude as he was, you were shocked and maybe even amazed as he knew to sign at you.

You checked behind you to maybe see his back and your assumptions were true, he was someone with a soulmate.

In Aoba Johsai, those with soulmates have a different uniform from others. And at the chest of their uniform it says which of the senses they've lost. He must've seen yours. It was too bad you didn't get to see his.

You continue your way to the cafeteria and there you saw Oikawa and Iwaizumi. You join their table where they had food for you already.

You tapped on the table looking at Iwaizumi. When you got your attention you signed.

"There was a guy while I was on my way here."

He raised his brow telling you to continue while he ate.

"So like, I was walking with my head down like how I always do and I bump into him. And like most people would usually just scream at me or something. This guy he signed at me!!!"

You were flailing your hand around being excited.

"What'd he say? "Oikawa signed

"He cursed at me but he still signed at me its really cool. This is the first time someone interacted with me for the first time and signed! I usually have to ask them first!!!!"

Oikawa pouted, you being too excited about the other guy didn't even realize.

Oikawa was the first. Not whoever the new guy is.

Iwaizumi then tapped the table to get your attention. Which also got Oikawa's.

"You've never really talked about other guys before." Normally Iwaizumi would have a problem with guys, but something about the guy. He couldn't put his finger to it.

Your face flushed, and Oikawa froze seeing it. You looked away from your cousin who was now smirking.

He tapped the table and you saw a paper. "Did you get his name or at least his class?"

You looked down face red. Why were you embarrassed about this. Why is your heart beating fast? He couldn't be your soulmate... could he?

You felt your phone vibrate signalling that your break was over. Without batting an eye to the two you ran out after waving at them.

You missed seeing Oikawa's shocked face. He had an incredibly distraught look.

The guy must've been her soulmate. There was no way she'd have that much pull to someone if he wasn't.

The realization hurt him.

He wasnt her soulmate. She wasn't his.

Previous | Masterlist | Next

Taglist?

@gayer-than-the-gayest-gay @wormonastringonastick @the-sander-fander

[lesbianyuuga]

we don't really like what you do

Pairing: Loceit (could be seen as platonic OR romantic)

Summary: Logan has always been seen as weird, it's hard to be normal when you're so different than everyone else.

Triggers: panic attacks

Word Count: 592

I originally posted this on ao3 under the username steampunkgoggles ^_^

 Logan was used to being different, from a young age he’d always been seen as an outsider, he was different from his peers. He had to wear headphones, he wore skirts instead of pants, he ate special food and all he’d talk about if given the chance was space. It’d never bothered him before though, he was perfectly fine on his own. That was until Janus came along. Janus was different then the other kids, which is why the two hit it off so well, Janus had vitiligo and heterochromia which led to bullying more often than not. Janus was sassy, sarcastic, and brutal. 

Logan loved him. 

“Eat your food Logan,” Janus said 

“Hm? Oh right” Logan replied, mouth full of sandwich. 

“You’re so lucky I’m your friend or you’d never eat” Janus exclaimed, picking at his own sandwich

“I am very lucky to have you I agree” 

Blushing Janus turned his attention back to his sandwich

“Janus gloves” Logan reminded 

“Ah, right” Janus mumbled eyebrows furrowing in concentration 

“I guess you’re lucky to have me too” 

“I was going to take my gloves off eventually!” Janus remarked

“I do not think so” Logan smirked 

Grumbling Janus took a bite of his sandwich. 

The two ate the rest of their lunch in peace, basking in each other’s comforting presence.

—

Logan hated P.E. he found it unnecessary and obnoxious, but worst of all, he found it incredibly overstimulating, the teacher was frankly an asshole who didn’t care to read Logan’s 504 or he’d know that Logan did not do contact with others (besides his parents and Janus) and he got overstimulated very easily. This was one of those moments where he could not move, people were swarming him on either side, their bodies too close to his, the smell of sweat overwhelming his senses, he was utterly screwed.  Breathing heavily Logan slowly slid to the ground attempting to recover his breathing 

‘Inhaleexhaleinexhaleinexhale’ Logan repeated in his head. 

With shaky legs and labored breathing Logan ran out of the gym and into the bathroom. 

—

It was a while before he felt safe enough to leave the bathroom, but by then it was already too late, word had spread around quickly of Logan’s speedy escape, making people stare and whisper at him as he walked down the hallway. Rushing Logan ran to the place he and Janus eat lunch, a stairwell in the back of the school. Sitting down Logan sighed in relief and sat down, he had a free period and so did Janus. Wrapping his arms around his knees Logan started to shake, he was so so overwhelmed. Rocking back and forth Logan pulled out his phone to message Janus

L: Will you be here soon? Nonverbal.

J: Yes, on my way now.

Dropping his head into his hands Logan waited for Janus.

“I’m so sorry I’m late Mr. Sanders pulled me behind after class to discuss my grade because I totally care about that,” Janus said panting.

Looking up Logan just nodded reaching out for Janus.

Sitting down Janus pulled Logan into his arms and held him tight.

“Do you want me to talk or do you want quiet?” Janus whispered 

Glancing away Logan held up two fingers 

“That’s fine,” Janus said gently holding Logan’s cheek with his hand and rubbing it. 

Logan closed his eyes and he drifted off, the sound of Janus’s soft breathing serving as a lullaby. Janus watched him sleep, knowing that even if it was just for a little bit Logan was finally getting a break.

[tscritical]

Ngl, I'm so glad I found your blog because I haven't been excited about Sanders Sides in ages and I got a weird feeling from when Thomas released the jam ad/video way back when, like one I don't really know how to put into words because it's just a vague, weird feeling. Seeing the more recent posts from him and only hearing about Sanders Sides through fans and super vague progress posts has left me more than burnt out, and it makes me a little upset because I remember being able to have hour long conversations with the group chat I was in when Tumblr still had group chats

I want to be clear that I mean no ill will to Thomas or his team or any of the fans that are still around because the fans that still do fanart and keep the series alive are amazing and it's not the team's fault, and I'm only expressing myself because I've felt this way for a while now; I know fans can be seriously passionate, so I'm just trying to explain myself even if it does nothing

Back on topic, I have no idea what Thomas is planning for the series, aside from the new YouTooz and new plushies, maybe more, but I don't know if the finale is on that list, and if it is, I don't think it's high on that list

Idk, tl;dr of this whole thing is thank you for what you're doing and I'm happy to have found your blog because it makes me feel validated(in a weird sort of way, sorry😅) that I'm not in the wrong for losing the love I had for a series and the respect(if that's the right word) and whatnot for its creator

i really appreciate asks like this cos sometimes i get worried that like. im gonna run out of steam, or like, it’s gonna get tiring posting a bunch of criticism and stuff. but then im reminded that what im doing is validating to people who feel the same way i do, and it’s like a surge of motivation to keep this blog afloat

anyway, thank you for this <3

[smallchaoscryptid]

hullo im very late but 🎢✨💖✅ !! -kai

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride? I think 'I'll Walk Through Fire For This' was my wildest ride because I kept on changing the plot as I wrote it to the point there were times where I wasn't even sure what was going to happen in the fic. Plus the whole fic itself is full of ups and downs... I should probably update that today....

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉 I'm really good at coming up with interesting plots and weaving them into a complete idea if not eventually a complete fic.

💖 What made you start writing? I've always been a big reader (I'm trying to get back into reading physical books.) and because of that I was really creative as a kid and writing was a way to express that. I used to have some of my own short stories (they weren't that good) on wattpad back in like 2014. I deleted them probably 4 years ago along with my wattpad and I used to write for the Sanders Sides fandom but orphaned most of my works from that fandom in the last year but you can still find some of them on my ao3.

✅ What’s something that appears in your fics over and over and over again, even if you don’t mean to? My fics kind of all have the theme somewhere about the importance of friends and the effect they have on you. Ex: 'From Phoenix Ashes' - The importance of friends when live throws all it has at you, and you need to pick yourself up. 'You're Gone but You're on My Mind (I'm Lost and I Don't Know Why' - The importance of having someone to turn to and who will help you find what you are looking for and finding those people in the least likely places. 'Come Inside (and Talk to Me)' - The importance of friendship and that sometimes they care more than you realize and want you around more than you think. 'I'll Walk Through Fire for This' - So I haven't finished posting it all, but it has the idea of finding friends who care for you and treat you right and being willing to fight to keep them. 'The Guiltiness Is Yours' - This is my current big wip aka my vampire au and the same idea appears in this one of like the importance of finding people who remind you that you are worthy of love and that you are better than you think.

[noblest-roman-of-them-all]

Well another year and another letter. This is only second letter to both creator and character Thomas, but I have ADHD and little traditions like this help me keep track of time. Kind of.

So anyway, Happy Birthday!

I genuinely can't tell if it actually feels like a whole year has passed since last April when I wrote one of these, but I think that's just because of how much has changed for me. I moved across the country for starters, started a new job, and I started looking more critically at some of the things I was raised with.

In all that change, one of the things that has been a constant that I go back to is the Sanders Sides series and the lessons I have learned from the series and the things I have learned from other videos and livestreams as well.

One of the reasons I moved was because of the discussions in 33 lessons from 33 years. I use some of the grounding techniques Logan has used throughout the series on a nigh weekly basis. The discussion modeled in Fitting In around Virgil’s concerns about the hair color change and the curiosity you met him with helped me to learn how to become curious with my own anxiety before I ever started therapy or knew about the system, and that helped system communication so much.

The nuanced discussion Janus is trying to have has taught me that it's not only okay but healthy for me to think critically about some of the stuff I was taught and Patton's discomfort has helped me to see that it's equally okay to be uncomfortable and to sit with that discomfort.

I know they don't exactly seem related, but these kinds of discussions are what has helped me feel comfortable in looking into other religions and even so far as praying to and interacting with other deities. I shared an apple with Loki today because the Sanders Sides series has taught me that it's okay to move away from things I was raised on. It's helped me see that that is safe to do. And I'm incredibly grateful for that.

And don't even get me started on the last heart to heart video and the idea of having grace for one's self because hoo boy has that been so hard this year. Like, you'd think that moving clear across the country and finding a new job would help me feel more established as an adult moving into their 30s, but no. I still feel just as far behind in life as I did before, it's just in a slightly safer environment. That message came with such perfect timing.

The transparency and the courage and the vulnerability that has been shown in the heart to heart videos has been encouraging, but also just...reminds me that it's safe for me to express those same things. It gives me courage to do the same. That means a lot to me.

I have learned a lot over the years from you via the Sanders Sides series, the livestreams, the heart to heart videos, in all of it. The one thing I am most grateful for right now is that I learned that it is in fact sade to just be human, to just be a person.

It hasn't always felt that way to me, but I am learning that it is. And that has a lot to do with the things you share.

So thank you. Thank you so so much. And happy birthday.

@thatsthat24

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Tug Of War: End of Rope

Prompts: Very Soft platonic or queer-platonic h/c story with a focus on the recovery that lets Roman pour out all his love onto someone? Your Roman comforting the others— desperately asking them to let him hold them, telling them they did good, calling them pet names and spoiling them with praise and affection— is amazing! Logan or Patton are my top choices but feel free to choose anyone you like. Thanks if you write this, no pressure if you don't; anything you write feels like a gift to me anyway - anon

Hi there! I kind of might have read almost all of your Sanders Sides fics in two days, so I don't know which story exactly this was in but at some point Roman said the line, "Please let me be soft with you," and truly it killed me inside (in the best way possible). I would absolutely love it if Roman said this or a similar phrase again, and I just really love all of your writing in general, it's amazing! - anon

Janus who is secretly a naga and hides it from the other sides until one day he can’t. He’s also extremely touch starved and nobody touches his scales but when they do he just MELTS into a big NOODLE PUDDLE because SCALE SCRITCHES ON HIS TAIL AND FACE ARE AMAZING (idk if you are even accepting prompts at this time, but if you aren’t please ignore this!) hurt comfort and cuddles feel free to tear my heart out if you feel like it! Platonic DLAMP? - anon

I'm pretty sure you just KILLED me with Tug Of War, so hi *waves* my ghost has returned to beg for a sequel! Preferably with some acceptance for Virgil and healing for Janus and his friendship? I love your writing so much by the way (: - anon

Are you still taking prompts? If so: Angsty Janus who just wants pets AND/or has intense urges to protect everyone because self preservation. Just has to be touching people and make sure they’re okay. Over and over. No romance, only Janus cuddles. - anon

Hey could you do a hurt/comfort where Janus hates pictures of himself cause it reminds him he has a face and his face has scales and he hates his face cause scales? -Nex

I have got a prompt for Sanders Sides, any characters/relationships are fine by me just: Forehead Kisses. More of those than I've found and more of your amazing writing are greatly appreciated, since I love them both very much. Thank you!! - anon

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: some self-hatred, touch starvation, hypothermia

Pairings: dlampr, platonic or romantic i don't care

Word Count: 4531

It started with him avoiding the uploads. He didn’t watch the footage back, did his best to ignore the editing process, didn’t look at the thumbnails if he knew he was going to be in them.

Then he doesn’t want to spend time with the others in the living room because sometimes the camera is still in there and they’ll want to film with it. He doesn’t want to be on camera like that, doesn’t want to have his picture taken, doesn’t want to be asked if he likes it.

Then he starts avoiding mirrors.

The others don’t notice, or if they have, they haven’t said anything. But that’s fine, he doesn’t expect them to. Their job is not to worry about him, that is his job. He is the one who worries and protects them.

Are you willing to let the cost be worth the reward?

He suppresses a flinch and moves away from that train of thought. He moves away from the memories of wry remarks that it was a good thing there were two of them to keep the others from dying. He moves away from the memory of someone leaving.

He’s cold.

The stupidest thing about snakes is that they’re cold-blooded. Do you know how difficult it is for a biped to fail to thermoregulate? Do you know how inconvenient it is to not be able to curl around yourself to keep warm?

Do you know how awful it is to have to shove your lower half into a mockery of limbs and tread on broken glass and sword tips every time you take a step? Do you know how much it hurts to see scales crawling up the side of your face, your neck, your body every time you see someone else with your face the way it should look? Do you know how cold it is?

It is not worth the risk to have them see more of his scales. It is not worth the risk to have the disguise ripped away and be met with disgust. It is not worth losing the ground he has worked and hurt so hard to gain.

But sometimes, oh, sometimes, he gives in to the selfish need and lets himself want.

He remembers the feeling of Logan’s arms around him. He remembers the whispered words that you are allowed to ask for help. He remembers feeling accepted, not just being accepted.

He curls his arms tighter around his tail.

He remembers warm hands on his scales and the soft brush of a purple hoodie. He remembers slow and patient dry-brushing from hands with green nail polish. He remembers realizing he couldn’t ask for that anymore.

The wounds have closed, the scars have formed, but the ache will not fade.

———————

A side effect of being so consumed by the cold of self-loathing is that many things can go unseen.

A quiet word between Logan and Virgil after filming one day, where Virgil blinks in surprise as Logan offers to continue their conversation in his room.

A laugh surprised out of Roman’s throat as Virgil makes a quip about a character’s backstory, leading to banter back and forth as the two of them mock the poor writing skills of a misogynistic prick.

A soft smile hidden under dark eyeshadow and purple fringe as Patton asks him how he likes his sandwich.

Little moments. Small enough to be overlooked if they aren’t looked for, big enough to start something greater.

Bigger moments, too, can go unseen, if the cold bites at the scales and forces the arms to tighten.

An accepted correction as Virgil points out a flaw in Logan’s conclusion, something they’ve overlooked, and they work through the argument together.

A joint movie review of The Nightmare Before Christmas that ends in a passionate discussion about Disney and cultural appropriation, Roman’s impression of Donald Trump sending Virgil into stitches.

A clumsy yet endearing attempt at baking made by two people who are too giddy at the fact that it’s happening, leading to Patton accidentally spraying flour all over Virgil’s hoodie.

But if the cold is particularly harsh and the bile of hating what form bears the brunt of its wrath is too bitter, these too can go unnoticed.

Unnoticed, too, are the concerned murmurs.

Questions about places in the videos, whether he’s feeling overlooked, neglected.

Questions about the mirrors, are they too bright, are there too many?

Questions about how he’s walking, is he hurt, does he have an accessibility need they’re not accommodating, they’ve seen him using his staff as a cane, are they being ableist even un-intentionally?

Questions that come from all Sides of the Mindscape, even those that know some of the answers.

One of whom is getting more and more worried as his oldest friend slips further and further away.

———————

It’s cold.

It’s cold.

It’s so fucking cold.

Janus huddles on the ground in front of the fireplace, late at night when there isn’t anyone else around, and pulls his tail as tightly around him as he can. The fire dances in the hearth and the light makes his scales reflect patterns around the room. He closes his eyes tight.

It’s cold. His scales hate him. The cold worms its way under them and refuses to budge, even as the heat from the fire starts to hurt the part that isn’t scaly. He grist his teeth and hugs his tail tighter.

His own hands are cold. They feel weightless. Empty. Like cardboard cutouts, two-dimensional, not real, not enough. Not worth it.

A whine he will deny until his dying day squeezing between the coils of his tail and he buries his head beneath the cold, cold scales.

“Hey, you—oh, Jesus, J, come on, don’t do that.”

He’s hallucinating. He’s hallucinating because that sounds like Virgil and Virgil would never be here, not now, not after everything, and his imagination is being cruel to him.

“Come on, J, you’re gonna hurt yourself, unwind, just a bit, hey, hey—oh, you poor thing.”

Virgil is not here. Virgil is not here.

“Come on, J, don’t make me play dirty.”

Virgil isn’t here. Virgil isn’t here and his imagination is being cruel and he doesn’t want to imagine what happens next because it won’t be real and he will cry.

“Alright, you asked for it.”

A warm hand lands on his tail and begins to scratch.

A shudder runs through his body and punches a low, mortifying sound from his throat. There’s a quiet hum from somewhere next to him and the hand moves.

“Come on,” Virgil—Virgil?—coaxes, his hand still scratching at the scales, “just poke your head up for me, let me see you, come on, J.”

He raises his head slowly, very slowly, reaching for this to be a lie and for the room to be cold and empty and for his scales to ache, only to see a concerned Virgil staring at him.

“Hey, J,” he says quietly, “you’re not doing so hot, are you?”

Dumbfounded, Janus can only shake his head. Virgil makes a sympathetic noise and his hand moves.

“How long have you been wearing this—“ he waves vaguely at the tail—“under your, you know, metaphysical meat sack? Too long?”

“T-too l-long.”

“Shit, J, you’re really cold. Okay, uh—“

Janus watches in wary astonishment as Virgil gets up and starts to gather the blankets and pillows around the room. When he crouches back down to tuck them into place, he pauses and tilts his head.

“What’s that look, huh?”

“What—what’re you—what’re you doing?”

“What’s it look like I’m doing, J,” Virgil teases gently, “I’m helping.”

And Janus, who has been so cold for long enough that he’s forgotten what human warmth looks like, just stares at him. Virgil holds his gaze for a moment, then softens and gives him a rueful smile.

“So maybe this is my apology,” he mumbles, “for, uh, what I did to you and said to you.”

He tucks the first blanket around Janus’s shoulders.

“You…you’re good, J. I’m—you know I’m not good with words. I’m sorry, okay, that’s—that I know. I’m sorry I fucked stuff up for us. Just—“ he tucks it into place and holds his gaze— “we’re good, okay? You’re all good with me.”

“I—I am?”

“Shit, J, I should be asking you that.” He sets the last of the blankets down and carefully reaches out to cup Janus’s shoulders. “What’s going on, talk to me?”

Janus’s hands are too cold to grip anything properly, sliding through the coils of his tail and off of Virgil’s arms. Virgil makes another noise and takes one in his, rubbing and blowing softly to try and warm him up.

“You’re freezing,” he murmurs, “let’s—let’s worry about getting you warm, okay?”

But as he tries to pry Janus loose from the frozen tangle he’s found himself in, he can’t. The limb is coiled so tightly, so cold, that every effort just sends another icy shiver through Janus’s body. Pained whispers and muffled gasps break the silence as the fire snaps and crackles. Eventually, when even scratching the scales won’t help, Virgil pulls back and sighs.

“J, you need help.”

“I’m aware.”

“No, look at me—“ he catches Janus’s chin— “you need help that I can’t give you. Can I—can I call the others?”

The others?

“Shh, shh, hey, okay—hold on, J, J, you gotta breathe.” Warm hands are on his scales, on his face, soft and pleasant and there. “In and out, J, come on…”

Janus leans into the warm, shuddering a little as Virgil talks him back into breathing normally. He curls in on himself again, even as Virgil tries to coax him out of it.

Is it worth the cost, when even after the dust has settled, you can’t stop hurting?

“It’s okay, Janus, it’s okay, I’m not—I’m not mad anymore.”

Even when the hurt has been patched, can you forget the memory of it?

“Janus? Janus, please, just—just look at me.”

Worry laces Virgil’s expression as Janus looks up, softening the slightest bit as they make eye contact.

“You need help, Janus,” he explains in the soft worried voice he remembers, “I…I can’t take care of you by myself.”

His expression hardens.

“And both me and Remus will kick their asses if they make fun of you.”

And just that, just the smallest memory of when the three of them were close friends, is enough to make Janus nod.

“Janny? Janny, Virge said—oh, fuck!”

Janus winces as Remus almost barrels into him, just saving himself from tripping over his tail. Remus quickly collapses to the ground and rolls out of the way, reaching out to push the pillow back into place.

“Sorry, Jan-Jan, I didn’t mean to.”

“Virgil? Is everything—oh.” Patton’s eyes widen as he sees Janus and Janus watches him swallow questions on the tip of his tongue. “What can I do?”

“Jan-Jan’s too cold right now,” Remus explains, carefully nudging Virgil out of the way and gesturing for Patton to come sit next to him, “we—well, uh, I don’t actually know how to explain it.”

“Is Logan coming?”

“Is that okay,” Virgil whispers to Janus, and when Janus nods, he turns to Patton, “I’ll summon him.”

“What is—oh,” Logan murmurs, spotting the four of them huddled near the fire, “Janus, I didn’t realize you were a naga, my apologies.”

“I h-hid it from—from you,” Janus stutters, “you—you weren’t supposed—you weren’t supposed to know.”

“I see. Are…are you alright with getting help now?”

“I don’t—don’t have much of a choice.”

Logan glances around and must see the wash of concern on their faces—he leans down and nudges a pillow out of the way and kneels near Janus’s tail.

“Virgil, what do we do?”

“Wha—me? Why’re you asking me?”

“You’re the one that called us here,” Logan says softly, “and you’re the one who most likely knows what to do.”

“R-right, um—“ Virgil shakes his head to clear it— “we need to get him stretched out. If he’s like this for too long his tail will seize and it’ll cause muscle damage.”

“Alright.” Logan reaches out and gently lays a warm hand on Janus’s scales. Janus shudders. “I apologize if this is sensitive, but we’re going to have to move your tail.”

“I—I know.”

Warm hands worm their way through his coils and oh, oh, they’re warm, they’re so warm but his tail is so cold that he’s pulling away from them as much as he’s trying to relax and let them move him. The struggle sends bolts of pain ricocheting up his spine and he whimpers.

“This isn’t working,” Patton mutters, “we’re just hurting him.”

“We have to get him unwrapped, he’s going to get hurt more if we don’t.”

“But not by force!”

“Snakey,” Remus murmurs, “Snakey, I know it’s hard, but can you—can you relax any more?”

Janus just winces, shaking his head as he begins to shiver terribly. Virgil curses.

“Alright,” he mutters, “it’s big gun time.”

Janus’s head jerks up. “B-big gun? What’s—what’s the—what’s the big gun?”

Virgil gives him a look. “Princey?”

Oh.

Oh, dear.

“There you all are, I’ve been looking everywhere for…”

Roman’s voice trails off as Janus hides his head in his arms and his tail. Distantly, he hears Virgil explaining in a low voice what’s going on and Roman must say something back. He feels the warmth of the others begin to pull away, followed by the soft whooshing noises as they sink out, one by one.

It’s not that he fears Roman’s reaction to finding out about his…everything more than the others, it’s just—just—

After the fight is over, and you’ve won, will you still feel as though you deserve the reward? Can you let yourself accept it, knowing what it took to get here?

Soft footsteps coming closer and another presence, this time between him and the fire. The part of him that isn’t covered in scales ache with the relief of the reprieve, even when his scales cry out in the cold.

“Little snake,” he hears, softer than he can imagine, “little snake, can you look at me, please?”

He squeezes his eyes shut and begins to raise his head, only opening his eyes once he’s sure he won’t duck away. Roman meets his gaze easily, face in shadow from the fire, and smiles.

“Hello, little snake,” he murmurs, “you look very cold.”

Janus jerks his head in a nod. Slowly, Roman extends a hand to him, but doesn’t touch. The proximity burns.

“Can you take my hand, please?”

Janus’s limbs whine in protest as he tries to move them, finally fumbling his cold hand into Roman’s warm one. A gasp tears from his throat from the effort, even as Roman wraps his fingers around his hand to keep it there.

“Thank you, little snake, very good.” The praise washes over him and he shudders. “Can you squeeze my hand?”

The muscles don’t want to respond, cold all the way through, but he grits his teeth and manages to squeeze Roman’s hand. Roman lets out another soft noise.

“Good, little snake, very good.” He gives Janus’s hand a gentle squeeze of his own. “Now, if at any point I do something you don’t like, or if you want me to stop for any reason, try and squeeze twice, okay?”

“O-okay.”

“Let’s try,” Roman murmurs, reaching out and gently stroking Janus’s shoulder with two fingers, “can you tell me to stop?”

Janus fumbles through the squeezes only to make a bereft sound when Roman immediately pulls his hand away. He chuckles.

“Shh, it’s alright, you did very well, little snake. I need to make sure you can stop me if you need to, hmm? Do you think that’ll work?”

“What…what’re you g-going to do—to do to me?”

“Yeesh, Janus, you make it sound like you’re in trouble.” Roman rubs the back of his hand with his thumb to soften the tease. “I’m just here to help. Virgil said you were having trouble getting warm, is that right?”

He nods, tail twitching miserably.

“I’m sorry about that, little snake…and you’re having trouble unwinding because you’re cold, but you’re having trouble warming up because you’re a little noodle ball right now, hmm?”

“It’s st-stupid.”

“It’s not stupid, little snake,” comes the gentle chide, “it just is. And I’m here to help.”

Janus sneaks a look around the rest of the room. “H-how? W-why did you send—send the others away?”

“Because you’re not just cold because of the temperature, Janus,” Roman says softly, “you’re touch starved.”

He is?

“You haven’t made a habit of physical contact since you started spending more time with us,” Roman says, “and Remus says that since you and Virgil…”

‘Fell apart,’ he fills in, and yes, that—that was the last person who knew exactly how to read Janus’s feelings toward touch.

Is…is he touch starved?

Oh.

Oh.

“Yeah, little snake,” Roman murmurs, “so I sent them to go gather the best blankets and pillows from every corner of the Mindscape while we start warming you up.”

“W-why?”

“Well—“ Roman shifts his weight, easing a little further into the floor— “a lot of touch all at once can be very overwhelming, especially when you’re not used to it and you’re already cold.”

“O-oh.”

He smiles. “So just me for right now, hmm? We’re just going to go slow, as slow as you like, to get you used to it. Is that alright?”

Hands. Hands on his skin, on his scales, warm hands…he’s nodding before Roman can finish the question.

“Good, good, little snake…I’m going to touch you now, alright?” Roman reaches his free hand and starts to stroke Janus’s shoulder again, just two fingers. “Can you feel that?”

He nods.

“Good,” he murmurs, his hand moving to cup the side of his neck, “what about there, yes?”

The rush of warmth makes his eyes grow heavy but he nods, even as Roman chuckles.

“Good, little snake, you’re doing very well. Just relax, I’m right here, nothing’s going to hurt you right now.” The hand moves to scritch gently at the scales under his chin and he keens. “Oh? Just here?”

Roman’s fingers wiggle again and Janus shudders.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Roman whispers, his breath fanning across Janus’s hand, “please, please let me be soft with you, let me spoil you.”

“What—what happened to going slow?”

But then warm fingers slip up and smooth firmly over his cheek scales and it punches a whimper from his throat. His hand twitches and his eyes slam shut. The rush of warmth is staggering.

As soon as it starts to get overwhelming, Roman backs off, hand cupping the back of Janus’s head as he presses a gentle kiss to his forehead. “Sorry, little snake, that was mean.”

“What’s mean is you stopping,” Janus mumbles, trying to push into the warmth of it, only growing mortified after he realizes what he’s said.

Roman’s laugh gentles away the kindling embarrassment as he strokes his thumb gently along Janus’s scaled cheek. “I won’t stop, little snake, not if you don’t want me to.”

Janus begins to float, up out of his body, following the trails of Roman’s hand along his face. Unconsciously, he starts to move, to chase it, even as Roman chuckles and tells him it’s alright, good job, just like that.

“You’re getting used to touch again,” he murmurs, “that’s good. You’re already relaxing for me…good…good, little snake. I’m right here, I’m right here.”

His voice creates a white noise of reassurance, holding him close, coaxing his walls down. Janus’s control over his breathing slips. His chest begins to heave. Then he tips his head up and kisses his forehead with another quiet: “it’s alright, Janus, it’s alright,” and that’s it.

He can’t—he can’t— he leans into Roman’s hand on his neck—he needs—

“…more?”

“Of course, little snake,” Roman murmurs, “may I touch your tail, now?”

Janus nods, only letting out a small whine when Roman’s hand begins to travel down his neck, his arm, finally coming to rest on the top of his coils. The whine quickly morphs to a groan as Roman begins to rub small circles into the scales.

“I read about snakes with Logan and Remus not too long ago,” comes Roman’s voice, “about the difference between the scales on the back of the snake and the underbelly. They tend to be smaller, a little thinner, right?”

Warm fingers begin to trail toward the underside of the top coil.

“It’s not good for them to be pressed against something cold,” Roman continues, “not if you want to warm up. Can we try and see if we can get you to relax enough to press them against something warm?”

Janus nods just as Roman runs his hand along the row of scales separating the coils and his hand tightens on instinct.

“Janus?” Roman pulls his hand away immediately. “Are you alright?”

Janus is most certainly not alright. The touch of something warm there, someone touching his scales there, was enough to make him shudder from top to tip. Roman’s waiting for him to say something and he needs—he needs to be warm.

“Please—“ he tugs Roman’s hand back toward his tail— “please—“

“You don’t have to beg, little snake,” Roman’s hushing, “I’ll give you what you want, just be patient. I don’t want to overwhelm you. That could be a worse shock to your system than letting you stay cold.”

“Just—please?”

“Is this your way of asking me to use two hands?” When Janus nods frantically, Roman smiles and sets Janus’s hand on his shoulder. “Do you remember what to do if you want me to stop?”

Janus quickly squeezes Roman’s shoulder twice.

“Good, little snake, good job.” Roman gently lays his warm hands on Janus’s tail. “You’re getting warmer, good, do you think you might be able to relax for me soon?”

“I’ll try.”

Roman smiles and leans forward to kiss his forehead again. “Good.”

“How’re you so warm,” Janus mumbles as he begins to trace his scales again.

“Space heater,” Roman chuckles, “drove Remus mad when we were younger.”

Janus opens his mouth to say something else but Roman’s fingers brush between two coils and he melts, shuddering into the side of Roman’s neck. Roman doesn’t pause, simply turns his head to murmur into Janus’s ear.

“There? Does that feel alright?” When Janus doesn’t reply, but doesn’t squeeze either, he chuckles. “Can you melt a little more for me, sweetheart? Can we get you warm?”

Roman’s fingers scritch with gentle relentlessness at the soft section of scales and slowly, slowly Janus finds himself lying down on the pile of blankets and pillows as his tail relaxes bit by bit.

“Good, good little snake, that’s it, you’re doing so well.” Another kiss pressed to his forehead. Roman’s fingers move a little to the left and Janus yelps. “Did I hurt you?”

“No, just…sensitive.”

He can feel Roman grin against him. “Is your tail ticklish, little snake?”

Before he can answer, Roman’s nails skitter around the scales again and he squeezes.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m teasing, I’ll stop.” He gentles, rubbing the pads of his fingers up and down the top of Janus’s spine to help him calm down. “Are you feeling a little warmer now?”

“Mhm.” Janus blinks lazily up at him. “’S warm here.”

“Yeah, little snake, is it warm?” Roman smiles. “I’m glad, you’re doing very well.”

“Holy shit, Princey, that was fast.”

Virgil appears over Roman’s shoulder, spreading a warmsoftcomfortablesafe blanket over the end of Janus’s tail. A few seconds later and Remus pops into view, coaxing Janus’s head up to lay a pillow under it. Patton and Logan follow not too far behind, packing the rest of the pile into place and settling around the edges.

“I told you he was good,” Remus grins.

“Yeah, yeah, shh. I’m tired and I’m gonna sleep here.”

“Ooh, sleep, yes, good.” Remus flops onto the ground. “Me too.”

Roman’s hand stays soothing and gentle on Janus’s tail as he lays down too, tucking Janus’s blanket around the both of them as he kisses Janus’s cheek.

“Stay warm, little snake, hmm?”

Janus mumbles sleepily.

Is it worth it, at the end of the day, after all the work you’ve put in?

Yes, because you can always work to make it better.

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[beauty-and-passion]

Taking on ANXIETY: Virgil’s beginning

Here we are, the first episode in which dear sweet Virge has finally been introduced.

As Mr. Sanders said multiple times, this was supposed to be just a one-time thing. Anxiety wasn’t supposed to stick around. Hence why he doesn’t have a full, fleshed personality: he’s just a figure that Thomas is using to talk about matters related to anxiety. After this episode, the character named “Anxiety” will disappear.

Buuuut, as we all know, things went out very differently. The public loved this new Side so much, Thomas decided to keep him around. And so, Anxiety appeared again. And again. And again. Until his personality got completely fleshed out and he became our favorite dark and strange son.

So, well, of course we will see some strange things here - like the way Thomas introduces him to Lilly:

[Thomas]: Well, long story short, you ever have a conversation with someone, and you think it went well, but then there’s something in the back of your brain trying to convince you that it went horribly? [Lilly]: All the time. [Thomas]: -points towards Anxiety- There’s the something.

Thomas is hinting that the guy in front of him is not “his” Anxiety, but the general concept of anxiety. An idea that Thomas will rectify in the Q&A (and in the next episodes), by clearly stating that Virgil is his Anxiety, not everyone else’s.

However, along with these mistakes/imperfections, we can also see the first hints of Virgil’s future character, some promising details, some interesting choices of words. There was still not a plan behind, but the message was already clear: this character has a lot to offer.

_______________________________

“Please welcome, my anxiety”

Up to this day, there are still people saying Thomas never knew about Anxiety before this moment.

People, do I really have to remind you how Thomas reacted, every time he met a Side he didn’t know about?

[Thomas]: -determined huff- Fine! Tell me! [Logan]: DECEIT! [Thomas]: WWWWHAT?! Deceit?

And

[Logan]: Ah. It's the Duke. [Duke]: Boo! [Thomas]: The DUKE?! (...) [Thomas]: Look, Mr. Duke, I'm really stupid right now. Just... tell me who you are... simply.

Now compare these words to what Thomas said, when he first met Anxiety:

[???]: -pops up- Hey. [Thomas]: WHAT THE HECK?! [???]: Oh, I’m sorry, was I not wanted at this exact second? [Thomas]: Oh, for crying out loud... Okay. Everyone, please welcome... my anxiety.

The difference is clear as day. When Thomas met a new Side, his first reaction was surprise mixed with shock. In Remus’ case, after the initial shock, Thomas asked him who he was, because he clearly had no idea who the guy was.

But when he met Anxiety, Thomas' first reaction wasn't shock. He was surprised, sure... but by Anxiety’s sudden appearance and not because he never met the guy. He clearly knew who this guy was and it’s clear he knew, because he himself introduced Anxiety to us. All other times, Thomas had NO IDEA who the new Side was: Logan introduced Deceit, by calling him by his role and, in Remus’ case, since the name “Duke” wasn’t specific enough,Thomas himself asked the Side who he was.

If this was Anxiety’s first appearance ever in Thomas’ life, Thomas would have asked him who he was. And I know he would’ve done that, because it's exactly what he did in DWIT.

But what Thomas did instead was introducing the guy. No questions about his identity, no shock for this new entry.

And that means Thomas already knew Anxiety. He already met the guy and he already knew him, way before the episode started. Just like he already knew his Morality, his Creativity and his Logic. Thomas already met this Side.

And Thomas himself confirmed it after a while:

[Thomas]: Okay, this is what frustrates me about anxiety. Sure, I get it when I’m nervous about doing something, or when I have to interact with a bunch of people socially, or when I have a big project due, but SOMETIMES it just shows up... [Anxiety]: Yo. [Thomas]: ...out of NOWHERE, and ruins whatever peace I have. Like I’m kind of getting fed up with it. There has got to be some way out of it!

This isn’t the first time Anxiety appeared. Anxiety appeared a lot of times before. This is why Thomas is already so familiar with him: because they met multiple times already.

_______________________________

Tell me you’re a Dark Side, without telling me you’re a Dark Side

He might be a proto-Anxiety, but he’s such a sarcastic little bitch I love him. Virgil being sarcastic is the best kind of Virgil.

And this trait is still part of him! His tongue is still sharp and his sarcasm still good. But also: this definitely isn’t a trait he has in common with another Side, nope, not at all. No similarities at all between him and a random Side like, you know, the snek boi.

Let’s also take a moment to analyze this sentence:

[Anxiety]: Ooh boy, I would like to see you try. You can’t just quit me.

As I explained in my post about the Others, they are unstoppable forces, naturally instilled in humans. You can ignore one of the Core Sides, but you can’t shut down your self-preservation, your intrusive thoughts... or your anxiety. These forces are activated by the most instinctive parts of our brain and work through hormones and nerves, to directly activate the muscles.

Hence why, when Anxiety says Thomas can’t quit him, well, he’s right. Thomas cannot get rid of his anxiety, because he needs this survival mechanism. He can (and will) calm him down, but getting rid of him? That’s completely impossible.

_______________________________

Tell me you’re a Dark Side, without telling me you’re a Dark Side (part 2)

[Anxiety]: He thinks he’s so great. Well, he is not! Look, I’m just trying to look out for him. Yeah, he was invited to a couple parties. If I wasn’t there to convince him not to go, who knows what bad things could have happened.

So... you’re looking out for him, uh? I wonder who that reminds me of...

[Deceit]: I don't want Thomas to be disadvantaged in a world where you can die for not following the laws made in the name of a lie.

[Duke]: What will your legacy be? Will you even have one?

Naah, I suppose it’s just my imagination. Just my imagination. No similarities at all between Anxiety and any other dark boi. Nope nope.

( Support me on Ko-fi )

_______________________________

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