#because im technically not posting yaoi all the time

[sh4tt3rg1rl]

@the-moth-from-elsewhere I have so many thoughts on them its not even funny WAAAA WAAAAAAAAA (this will also include a lot of Theory Posting bc of the new 7+8 trailer so be warned)

ALSO CANON SHIP MEANS MORE MATERIAL!!! YALL ARENT READY FOR THIS RANT!!

Alright lets see... first things first

Let me explain "toxic yaoi/yuri" EVEN THO THEY TECHNICALLY ARENT GAY FOR ONE ANOTHER YOU CANT LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND SAY "N IS STRAIGHT" OR "UZI IS STRAIGHT". im PROJECTING "PAN DEMIGIRL" ONTO UZI AND YOU CANT STOP ME also they're toxic because. OH NO THAT 7/8 TRAILER. ITS SO OVER WERE SO BACK!! WAS SHE HURTING HIM??? OH GOD

DUDE, YOU SAW HOW THE LIGHT THING ON THE BACK OF HER HAND WAS PURPLE, RIGHT??? NOT YELLOW LIKE HOW IT WAS WHEN SHE WAS BEING CONTROLLED BY THE ABSOLUTE SOLVER??? SHES HURTING HIM COMPLETELY BY HER OWN VOLITION. NAOAOOAOAOOOOOOO

on a diff note... IM CRYING AND SOBBING. DID YOU SEE HOW GENTLY HE WAS HOLDING HER AND HOW SCARED HE WAS WHEN HE CUT OFF HER HAND IN EPISODE 6??? DID YOU SEE HOW THEY HELD HANDS LITERALLY MOMENTS BEFOREHAND? (lots of hands huh) DID YOU SEE HOW UZI HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE TO COMFORT N AND N HAS ALWAYS BEEN THERE TO COMFORT UZI?!?!?!? THAT ENTIRE FALLING SCENE IN EPISODE 4... PLUS WHEN HE DEFENDS HER AGAINST V IN THE SAME EPISODE... UGHHHH I LOVE THEM

plus OMFG THE FACT THAT HE MOVES HER HAND OUT OF THE SUN AND HE CONSTANTLY WORRIES ABOUT HER... HE LOOKS SO HEARTBROKEN ALL OF THE TIME NOW!!!

HOW UZI WAS CRYING INTO HIS SHOULDER IN THE 7/8 TRAILER MADE ME ACTUALLY CHOKE ON MY OWN TEARS WHEN IT SHOWED IN GLITCH X

Dude... how CLEARLY jealous Uzi was in episode 5 when V and N blushed at one another... how Uzi immediately jumped to defending N instead of herself when Tessa told them to not date...

AND REMEMBER WHEN TESSA SAID THAT N NEEDED TO CHOOSE THE UNIVERSE OVER UZI??? aw HELL nah he is NOT DOING THAT. He's choosing Uzi. He's choosing uzi or im in de nile, the river in egypt

Also wheres nuzi kiss, glitch. Need that nuzi kiss. I dont CARE how cheesy it is i NEED FOR THEM TO KISS *screams into my pillow and dies*

The internet would explode if they kissed yk. I would explode as well and I know YOU WOULD TOO, ELSIE!!!

I love them.

[lettersfrombeyondthegrave]

oh and btw they dont even let you see the post that got flagged. no, you get a blurred preview and a fucking pdf that tells you the link of the post but when you click on it, the post is gone because the flagging go it deactivated and the only way ive found to view it is zooming in and trying to move the image somewhere so u can see the tiniest preview you could ever imagine. im not joking

and it doesnt even work with all browsers btw. and thats a desktop only method. and it doesnt event work with all posts because some just have this icon

i will say that at least the appeals can work, the noses post (no i didnt make that example up) got reinstated. i saved a twitter that said "my son can be gay my daughter can be lebanese but i will never raise a child that likes taylor swiftie" and it got reported for "hateful activities" and it got reinstated, but didnt help that time i tried to appeal for this

and technically it is a legit ad for a yaoi 18+ mobile game soyeah maybe it counts as adult content. But also it's not a bad yaoi gacha game , theres interesting character development and clear consent dialogues and someone made a 6 hours video on the lore of it on youtube AND THAT AD IS FUNNY OKAY

But still, whatever theyre using to detect dick and balls is very stupid

I just wish there was a better system in place, i use pinterest for references and keeping inspo boards a lot and id prefer if the stuff ive saved wouldnt disappear because a robot thought a nose looked a lot like a boob side view

pinterest will let blatant ai slop of tits fester and fix it by just not allowing anyone to search the term "anime girl" but god fucking forbid you save an art reference pin about fucking, neck muscles or different types of noses. you fucking bet i will appeal that shit until you fix your fucking algorithm

[maik-ii]

uHM

@ireadyaoimangas  ---> @maik-ii

...i’m sad. go follow me on @softblreads for bl content.

[lansizhuis]

I’m seeing so many posts lately on how problematic and fetishising danmei is and I feel very discouraged...danmei has helped me feel more confident in my own sexuality and I never thought it was a bad thing. Can you elaborate on what some people think is wrong about danmei? Thank you

disclaimer: my response is specific to my own experiences so it’s def not a universal thing but perhaps can hopefully be considered as another perspective. and whelp im on mobile so i cant add the read more function, imma edit this when i wake up

I think this is almost the same “issue” with JP yaoi genre and how much the West have vilified the term “fujoshi”. This issue has a long af history so let me just redirect you to this short collection of threads about it. Anyhow, connecting it to danmei which now deals with CN culture on the take of BL, I think it’s a lot about outsiders to said culture demanding they be put in the spotlight aka if it’s not THEIR standard then it’s “wrong” and is therefore ~problematique~. This kind of baby activism which is performative at best mainly takes root in the Western ideology/society. I’m not saying all Westerners are like this but that a large chunk of the really loud ones are most often than not — them. I’m not even going to touch the whole fiction vs reality mentality yet (again, the relationship between the two is CORRELATION and NOT CAUSATION) but would focus mainly on nuances.

An example on why they call danmei ~problematique~ is calling the “shixiong/shidi/etc” relationships as “incest” bc they “practically grew up together”. Martial siblings in CN cultural context are NOT the same as regular siblings. A very specific example I can think of is MDZS’ Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian (disclaimer: i don’t personally ship them romantically) who have the dashixiong-shidi relationship and are “martial siblings” but NOT (blood) siblings. Wei Wuxian is technically still an outsider to the Jiang family bc he isn’t theirs by blood. And trust me on this — relationship by blood is a BIG DEAL for this cultural context.

One of the examples on why they call danmei ~fetishizing~ is when the couple goes beyond the fluff aka having sexual intercourse of any kind. At the top of mind, the most recent discourse I saw was how antis were trying to cancel STARember (tgcf manhua artist) for making Hua Cheng sucking out the poison from Xie Lian “too sexualized” (whatever their standard is) even if it actually happened in the novel but you don’t see the same comments when they read the novel. This reminded me of when fans in EN fandom who are fluent in CN mentioned that Xie Lian gave Hua Cheng a blowjob in the temple when the ghosts were lowkey losing their shit and even gave “evidences” of it and a lot in the fandom got mad because of the same reason. These are cases of people demanding that LGBT+ content should only be “palatable” when it’s not always sunshine and daisies otherwise they’re going to brand it “fetishizing”.

Another example is the anger for when one half of the couple calls the other “wife” because it’s “forced heteronormativity” plus “fetishization”. For one, I personally know gay people who call their partners “wife” bc it’s their term of endearment and yknow most of the time it’s as simple as that. In addition to danmei context, we don’t really use or have a rule that the one being called “wife” (from those what I’ve read – 老婆) as something equal to “bottoming” but more on a ‘personality trait’ for the lack of a better word. A very specific example in mind is how Zhenhun’s Zhao Yunlan calls Shen Wei his “wife” bc Shen Wei is the one who can cook, actually cleans, etc. Note that Zhao Yunlan IS the shou/bottom which is even more contrary to the argument that wife = bottom. Of course there’s context to each story so this is not a blanket rule but just goes to show a sound point against those making a universal statement of anger against the term “wife”.

There’s a whole lot more and I definitely did not cover deeper cultural nuances but the answer got too long already haha

OKAY SO MAIN POINTS:

1. Danmei is a genre with thousands of titles under its belt — some may be considered “bad” or “good”, etc much like how in English Literature, we have “good” and “bad” ones. I bet you that those who make universal blanket statements against it hasn’t even read more than 10 novels.

2. A lot don’t understand that it’s more than okay to not like certain tropes or certain novels without having to justify it with “woke” issues. My friends have some novels I’m not very into and I have some novels they themselves are not very into. It’s normal. Human beings are, after all, different from each other in a lot of ways. What’s not okay is propagating hate over fictional preferences. Trust me, literally everything can be ~problematique~ if we try to reach hard enough.

3. MOST IMPORTANTLY — your experience with danmei is not going to be the same with the rest of the world AND YOU ARE VALID. It’s not totally about the content we consume but majorly on how we process it that matters the most. If you’re able to be more accepting of yourself with it, then that’s amazing! If others don’t feel the same then they should drop it and leave others alone who had better processing.

[silversprit]

me reacting to danganronpa shit with no context

includes all 3 main games! ask for context if u want heeheh

FUCK YALL ITS CANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BRO ITS LITERALLY THERE ITS ALL THERE (referring to leosaya of course)

i also love how everyone else hates him, though him and mukuro junko coudlve been really intriguing

kyoko doesnt even waste time speaking

SAYAKA DO IT. FRIENDZONE THAT NAEGI

DIUKGJHSDN DKUCFH CNXUDGFJKHN AXGUF NAEGIRI CANON CELESTE/MAKTOTO CANON????? WHY DOES EVERYONE LOVE MAKOTO at least sayaka friendzoned him

MONDO WHAT THE HELL ok its confirmed hes gay AHHAHA LEON JEALOUS OF THEIR FRIENDSHIP AHAHAHAHAHAH

HOYL SHIT NOOO LEON AND SAYAKA NEVER SAW GENOCIDER :( NEITHER DID MUKURO NO!!!

SAYAKA DO NOT BE THAT ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT TOGAMI HE IS NOT WORTH YOUR BREATH

CELESGAMI CANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNEW IT WO- maybe not maybe im reading too deep “he and i are of a kind” WINK WONK

KYOKO JUST LAUGHS WHAT IS THE CONTEXT

toko pleeeease stop obsessing ove rhim hes so bad

ishimondo canon i think that ones actually canon someone on the dr crew said it i think

SAYAKA WTF “he’s great” SAYAKA/ISHIMARU?

fuck you byakuya “don’t breathe until i tell you to” shut the fuck up

-

i would say band-aid confirmed but honestly? it already was MONOKUMA HUH WHAT

hm comparing gundam to komaeda… is that a good comparison? idk much about sdr2 i cant say for sure SONDAM CONFIRMED again it probably already was

sodddaaaa dont beat him up

HAHAH THE GIRLS DISSING TERUTERU IS SO FUNNY akane just here for the food

i love you twogami you are so good HAJIME NOT KNOWING WHAT YAOI IS JUST… MMM FEELS RIGHT

OOH CHIAKI SORTA DISSING HAJIME OUCH

AKANE!! WHAT THE HELL THATS SO FORWARD I GUESS THAT THING FROM THAT ONE SCENE WAS MORE THAN JUST

TERUTERU GAY FOR HAJIME CONFIRMED also kazuichi/hajime but thats more believable… wait “come and be my worthy partner” TWOGAMI/HAJIME EVERYONE IS SO HORNY FOR THE PROTAGS

“she’s in the wild ‘n wet world of yuri now!” IBUKI WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ARE YOU DATING HER WAHAT i mean i do think it could be cute also hajime’s was surprisingly calmer than i thought it would be

WOAH HIYOKO WHAT THE SHIT DID YOU JUST SAY KOMAEDA WAS INTO LOLICON WHAT honestly im glad no one trusts komaeda (this will get me murdered)

SONIA KNOWS KUZUPEKO CANON EHLL YEAH ibuki was friends with him? i dont remember that

everyone is being angry at ibuki gonna kms /j /j /j shes just playin her death metal HIYOKO NOOO WHY ARE YOU THE ONLY ONE WHO LIKES IT

F-FUYUHIKO BLUSHING AT CHIAKI??? NO. I CANNOT ACDEPT THIS ibuki is so gay i love her she is best girl for a reason

i dont trust most of the people’s reactions to her thats weird

akane just confess to nekomaru already damn you dont gotta keep innuendoing ooookay is teruteru bi cause hoyl shit these reactions make me think so thats actually p cool

ibuki keeps referencing that one scene in chapter 2 and i love that

hajime says “stop talking about your panties”…. bro shes- you know what nvm he can figure it out on his own

KUZUPEKO CANONNNNNNNNNNNNN

ibuki being gay for peko feeds me i love them together but like kuzupeko but like peko has two hands! gundam just laughing.. imposter sus

glad none of the dudes (except for teruteru rolling eyes emoji) is being horny for hiyoko and monokuma calling her a loli is. technically correct? shes an adult if the dr timeline is right

love that ibuki still goin on about that scene girl… same also love that kazuichi and gundam bonding over loving sonia

ibuki rejecting soda like that… good for her. hajime yes you’re soul friends geeez it snot that hard to understand

-

havent played v3 so my opinions might be stupid (you have been warned)

wow these are surprisingly boring also whats with the talk of ghosts thats weird

miu dont diss tsumugi like that i thought she was cute also yeah okay maki you dont need to be like “im not interested” okay we know u straight baby its ok /hj kaito wanna see her cosplay (lenny face)

HAHAH RIP SHUICHI

STFU KOKICHI HIMIKO IS NOT UGLY UGGGHGH WHY DOES THE FANDOM LOVE YOU YOU PIECE OF GARBAGE

angie finds keebo attractive you say? and tsumugi asks if he knows romance? and shuichi calling him a dryer? fascinating

angie calling gonta a grandma is both cute and kinda odd. why is kirumi calling him mother? my god miu can you not be horny for 5 minutes

ohhh i get it now nvm gonta asked if she was the mom of the group AND KOKICHI ASKING HER TO BE HIS MOM HAHA KOKICHI MOMMY KINK LOLOLOL tsumugi drooling ooh

OHH GONTA CALLED ANGIE THE GRANDMA OF THE GROUP WHILE BLUSHING WHAT angie is honestly so cute shes obsessed with atua and sacrifices but shes cute

kaede asking why korekiyo wears a mask… sadge if only she knew what awaited her in 2020 also maki asking who his sister is is

monokummma

aw kaede called tenko cute. also kiyo just straight up being like “yeah imma kill her” is so brave

shuichis is so boringgigig

-

im crying i cant find the ultra despair girls one

ALSO I HOPE YOU NOTICED THAT THE DR1 ONE IS ONLY LIKE HALF OF THE CHARACTERS BECAUSE I WAS SO HAPPY THAT LEOSAYA HAPPENED THET I JUST HAD TO POST ABOUT IT

[super-lemon-sama]

I’ve made a very personal realization recently.

I normally don’t post personal stuff that isn't just like a funny story or something silly, but I really wanted to share this.

It’s pretty long and kind of a jumbled mess so I’ll leave it under read more.

Okay this is gonna sound weird but- I just realized that I’m like really actually gay.

I mean the past two years I’ve been pretty open about liking girls so we been known, you know, but not like known known?

That probably doesn't make sense.

What I mean is I didn't totally understand it.

(if you wanna skip to the chase you can scroll down to the bottom and read under the horizontal line)

You see my family is pretty conservative, and I love them and all but I have to be honest, they aren’t very open minded. On top of that It wasn't until VERY recently that I’ve had any openly gay friends or piers.

So for the past seven years I’ve really struggled with who I am and how I feel. It’s hard to talk about it and accept my feeling because for years and years I really convinced myself that I was just fucked in the head and couldn't love anyone. I thought the only correct option for me was to like guys and that if I didn't like guys there was something wrong with me.

It wasn't even on my radar that a girl could actually like a girl. It was so cemented in my brain that guys were the only option, and never had anyone around me who could show or tell me otherwise. Like it wasn't that my family or community forced those crazy “you cant be gay!” or “gay is a sin, and if you’re gay you’re going to hell!”  “values” upon me. It’s that no one ever spoke about the gays or being gay.  Gay just didn't exist in my world.

I was so completely... uninformed I guess. 

The first time I discovered anything gay was around 8th grade; I was on the internet by then and hung out with the weebs at school so I had heard of Yuri and Yaoi. (I rarely saw yuri though) These two girls in particular who I was the closest to in the weeb group, were in fact lesbians. But like my brain just couldn't recognize it. I didn't realized they were ACTUAL lesbians for the longest time, one because I just thought they were acting like these two anime characters they shipped together and two because I still didn't know what a lesbian was, I just knew that a girl kissing a girl was yuri.

there’s so much that I didn't know or understand. I wish that someone who could have just told me so I wouldn't have had to suffer so much just to learn what I know now.

it was also around 8th grade that I found out Asexuality was a thing and was like:

 “Oh yeah that’s super me!” 

because back then (and even now) I hated the thought of being physically intimate with a guy. It super freaked me out and made me uncomfortable. 

Additionally America is fucked and likes to make people scared of sex instead of actually educating anyone about it; so for most of my life intimacy of any kind has always been labeled as “A bad bad terrible thing you should never do or you’re a shameful and disgusting person”. It was so bad that I thought that it was wrong to even think about holding someones hand. (I’m still struggling with that tbh. partly because of my anxiety and slight germaphobia. But i’m getting better about it and it almost not even a problem around people I’ve known for a long time)

I dont really remember when or what led me to realize I liked girls. I just remember it was around maybe 11th or 12th grade, when I befriended this guy and thought that since I liked him more than other guys that I had met that it meant I “like liked” him, so we started dating. Around this time I still considered myself asexual, but started joking about anime girls and shit like that, because it was the hip meme at the time. 

But the more I joked about liking girls the more I realized that it wasn't really a joke. I started thinking about how pretty and nice girls are; and about how I like being around them. How I never really felt any strong or even really positive feelings towards any guys. So I started thinking if I had ever liked anyone more than my boyfriend at the time, and it hit me like a brick. 

I dont want to talk about it to much but there’s a certain person I used to talk to that I was really really close to. I always thought about how I wanted to live in a house with her and see her everyday and joked about getting best friend married to her. They were jokes but I did mean them. I really did want to live with her, I wanted to see her everyday, and I remember really wishing there was such a thing as “best friend marriage”.

If I had even one openly gay friend back then I think I would have figured it out so much sooner. 

Actually Thinking back on it now all my friends probably thought I was gay, wish one of them would have told me, lmao. 

(I also realized that a majority of my ocs were very very gay)

But I was fucked up about it for a long time, because she was my best friend, and I had been saying I was straight or asexual for so long, I was so scared people were going to think I was a crazy liar and hate me. Plus she was straight and had a boyfriend by the time I moved away. 

Which I wasn't sad or mad about actually. He's a really cool dude and he made her really happy which always made me really happy. Like he would make her laugh and I would almost want to just thank the dude for making her so happy.

We drifted apart, which is kind of my fault. I missed her so much but I felt like it was wrong for me to miss her, and I was scared that I would confess my feelings to her compulsively and it would make everything awful and weird, and that she wouldn't want to talk to me ever again. To me our friendship going unruined was the most important thing, because I didn't want to make her uncomfortable or unhappy, so and my dumb ass brain decided that If I basically stop being friends with her by ghosting her that I couldn't ruin our friendship.

It’s not like our friendship ever “ended” or anything. If I wanted to talk to her I’m sure I could. But it’s been so long that I just want to leave that door closed. But I’m at peace with that and have actually been able to move on.

There’s some stuff I want to briefly mention just because they’ve all happened pretty recently so I don’t entirely have my thoughts on them settled yet.

How about two years ago in my collage art class I made friends with some lgbt people who Invited me to their club, and started going to meeting with a couple different lgbt students. I learned a lot there. I wish I would have asked more questions back then but it was all so new at the time I dont think I could have reaaaally understood any explanations I got anyway.

I dated someone who was non-binary trans for a while, and I have to be honest I didn't really get it back then; transgender was a new concept for me at the time so I kept getting confused. You see I thought trans only applied to mtf and ftm and that non-binary was a category all it’s own. I mean it is but you know what I mean.

 I wanted to understand but felt like asking them questions about it would have been mean so I didn't. hhhhhhhhhhhh im so fukin dumbbbb.

I’m not proud of it but I broke up with them because I felt so bad for not understanding them, I felt like I wasn't giving them the understanding and validation they deserved. I really liked hanging out with them and talking to them, but they really liked me and I just felt like I wasn't a good enough. I was so scared of hurting their feelings that I... hurt their feelings.

Flawless logic, I know.

and here’s the part were I finally realize that I’m a big gay

It’s stupid because It’s literally the most basic and obvious thing you would realize when you’re gay and yet it somehow took me this long to figure it out.

I realized that the thought of kissing a guy is gross, but the thought of kissing a girl is nice.

I would be comfortable and happy being in a relationship with a girl.

I would like to live with and marry a girl one day.

I’m mad that it took me so long to freaking realize this shit, but I’m glad that I have.

I dont think I’m a lesbian technically since I do like non-binary people too (Though with a fem lean. if that’s how you say that???)

But there’s a lot I still dont know, like what I would even call myself, but I would really like to learn; So if any of you have read this far and want to share some of your knowledge please do!

Thank you all so much for your time and support, I love you and hope you have a great day!

[elvesofnoldor]

smh technically i should identify as bisexual right now....but....i don’t think i can ever own up to...being bisexual??? If i do, i’d write “bi” instead of “wlw” on my bio right now

obviously, being on a-spec really complicates things, I identified as demisexual first and came out as one because I thought demisexuality really helped me to understand why i can feel both romantic and sexual attraction towards women but I never really felt sexual attraction towards men. As time goes on, I realize that some demisexual are fucking straight, and i dont want LGBT+ folks be guessing im some straight person cause if i was i wouldn’t even think about identifying as demi! Demisexuality kinda becomes more of a personal identity than something I can use to explain my attractions to other people in a straight forward manner. Not to mention, not that long ago, an ace person literally tried to police me into only calling myself demisexual because mentioning being bisexual means “PEOPLE WILL THINK YOU ARE BISEXUAL NOW AND YOU ARE ERASING ASEXUALITY” well lol bitch I AM BISEXUAL, a bisexual on ace spec but a fucking bisexual neverthe-fucking-less, so, fucking stick it. Anyways, I don’t feel comfortable in the ace community, if there is one to begin with, and i dont think //demisexuality// can define my mode of sexual attraction anymore at this point.....

Also, I did not come to tumblr thinking I’m straight, I came to tumblr as “questioning” since I didn’t know that your sexuality can be fluid at that point and my parents tried to convince me i was just having a //phrase//.I had been in this questioning phase ever since I had that giant gay crush and stopped feeling attraction towards men for a while at the age of 15 (I signed up for tumblr at the age of 18 btw). I know bisexuality is a thing back in high school since I legit had a friend who identified as bisexual. She was like “girls are good and boys are good too!” and i was like oh so that is what being bisexual is like! But the thing is, it never worked that way for me??? Bisexuality is never a label that fits me perfectly. All the bisexual posts on here identified being bisexual as feeling similar kind of attractions towards men and women, or even more. Now, i know you can be more attracted to one gender than the other, but i never had that “boys are good and girls are good too!” mentality. It’s always just “ah i want a boyfriend and I have very occasional gooey and short lived romantic feelings towards real men!” or “i want a girlfriend and NO gooey unnecessary romantic feeling towards men!” (which is me for at least two years now). My sexuality is always murky water for me tread in and it’s frustrating. 

 Looking back, I was totally lesbian since i knew i was ONLY attracted to women, and I did not feel one ounce of attraction towards men for at least a year or so, that was also around the time I explored lesbian literature as well (not yuri though...but again i was never truly into yaoi anyways). This is the reason why I didn’t even think about being on asexual spectrum right off the back because I do feel both romantic and sexual attractions! I did and i still do. It’s just that I don’t think I ever felt sexual attraction towards real men I met, and my romantic attractions towards //real// men only happened three times in my memories--two of them happened before the age of 16 and one of them happened while I was in the first year of university, and none of them lasted more than a week, in fact, I couldn’t even remember two of their faces at this point. Tbh, I don’t think I ever felt any substantial sexual attractions towards fictional male characters or unattainable men anyways....Maybe i suppressed these feelings after the age of 16/18??? I don’t fucking know. I don’t fucking know if my attractions towards men are real or are they a result of compulsory heterosexuality or....both. 

Gonna be honest, I really missed not feeling attraction towards men, especially now. I missed how freeing and simple it felt, even though crushing on my friend was not a fun experience cause i had low self-esteem about the way i look (i still do) and she was straight af. However, I know I just CAN’T identify as a lesbian right now despite the fact that I don’t really feel or desire attraction towards men in general, since there is ALWAYS that one fucking asshole with his STUPID dark/black hair and his BEAUTIFUL eyes, existing in some fictional universe and maybe somewhere out of reach in this universe at the same time. So far there have been two fucking assholes of this kind, I’m not sure about any fictional men I liked before the age of 16. 

Why is there always that ONE FUCKING DUDE who wouldn’t let me be a fucking lesbian