#because im starting to need higher i forgot the term

[moa-yaps]

i opened requests on Instagram but all i did today was draw 3 post 2 and lied in bed doing nothing but play reverse 1999

[ayaosguqin]

I cannot believe I only just saw your Sauron puppet master art? It looks so good. I love the designs you did on the characters, and you did a lot of layering and details on basically everything as well. I spy something new every time I look at it again. I was wondering how long it took you to draw it and come up with the idea? Or just any thoughts you have on it, haha. Love your art and am a new follower of yours. < 3 Hope this message is okay to send, thank you for your time.^^ (Also, heck yeah, dark skinned Celebrimbor he looks fantastic.)

First of all thank you for your lovely comments 😍😍welcome glad to have you here . Im glad you like how I drew celebrimbor !!

Honestly, I forgot that I had drawn a piece like this. When I found it on my page again, I felt the need to reblog it just to have it higher up in my blog. 😂

Anyway, I had a very old drawing of a puppeteer, Sauron, controlling Ar-Pharazon, and I thought, "You know what? He did the same to Celebrimbor," and thus the idea was created. The composition I first had was Sauron in the background and Celebrimbor as a puppet, but as I moved forward in my drawing, I added details and changed stuff. Perhaps seeing all the empty spaces on the canvas caused me to try to add something. As a whole, from starting the painting until finishing it, I would say it took a month. That, of course, doesn’t mean that I was drawing all that long; it was because perhaps the idea of this drawing didn’t form as well as I wanted and thus it took me longer. But purely speaking in terms of drawing and without considering any breaks, I would say around 15 to 16 hours. (Also definitely other people’s arts have a great effect on formation of my ideas )

[macklives]

alright, im actually kind of in the mood to unpack some stuff regarding karkat's character and the way alternia works actually, so i dont mind giving this a go. and while act 5 isnt completely finished yet (so this is an analysis post for act 5 up until page 2305), there is still more to explore, and im pretty sure i have a lot more to read regarding both karkat AND alternia. until then, i will give a general layout as to what i know so far and how i can expand this in a psychological way (especially considering i did my psych exam so my mind is FRESH from studying)

alright, starting with what seems to be the deal with the hemospectrum, theres a total of 12 blood colors. HOWEVER, one of those blood colors is a "mutant" blood which is unwanted in troll culture as it is, well, "mutant", meaning whoever has this blood will get brutally slaughtered. hurrayyy. im guessing it is even lower than aradia's rust blood, as she is allowed to live but is the lowest on the hierarchy triangle. meaning karkats blood is not even ON the hierarchy triangle and simply buried underground where they hope he stays. so its not exactly pleasant to be living in a society where everyone is trying to KILL you or at least keep you away from everything.

from what i remember, troll reproduction is a vital aspect in their culture, that everyone is forced to mate and drones will come by each house to collect the genetic material. this is mandatory apparently, and if someone were to object, they will be “culled" as quickly as they could say no. alternia seems to be really keen on the whole "blood and carnage" thing, which means their probable solution to anybody breaking the law, is to kill them on sight and just leave them there to rot - regardless of who they are and what families they comes from or have. trolls are free to kill whenever or whoever they please without any governmental repercussions. which means revenge upon revenge happens without any policy.

however this is very important when looking at karkat, because karkat may not be able to do the whole reproduction process (not that we necessarily want him to, im saying this in terms of how its mandatory for every troll and there will be a time when the drones WILL come for karkat). but as he is already a mutant and if they were to "collect" from him, they would find out his blood regardless of how he hides it. they will either cull him for saying no, or cull him for his blood. karkat, in this sense, is doomed regardless. which makes his character much more interesting.

and keep in mind alternia kind of sucks, because from the looks of it, trolls are constantly tested throughout their lives to prove themselves to society that they are allowed to live and survive. but ONLY if they are the strongest among them. alternia wants to become this fearful planet where the weak die off and only those proven worthy can stay to grow up and slaughter more of their kind until the world is nothing but blood thirsty strong murderers. im not too sure who is governing alternia but they can suck a dick if they think this is how good morals work. alternia only really has one way to solve things which is to kill those who question/fight back, OR to kill those who CANNOT fight back essentially. which puts all the trolls through a double edged sword where they cannot do anything but follow the guidelines given to them by troll's society and government, and try to survive as much as they can until then.

if i remember correctly, when it comes to the law side of things. if you look at it from terezi's introduction where she explains prosecutions with her plushies (lemonsnout ect ect i forgot the term for them lol), she said "you are guilty until proven innocent" which is the polar opposite of "innocent until proven guilty” used in OUR own society today (tho i guess we are by far the "good guys" in this situation, but we are far different than how trolls live their lives). anyways, what this means is that everyone dies regardless unless theres literal proof that they have not done the crime. even so i wouldnt put it past them to do nothing about their case even WITH proof. terezi even goes to say that technically there is no way to deal with the law on alternia, and most of crimes get solved through death. she even demonstrates this by how easily she hung the "suspect" and flipped a coin to determine his fate. however, even with the coin landing on the side of safety, where the suspect were to be released, she said "im blind remember i cannot see this coin" and essentially "killed" him. while terezi may have just been playing with her plushies, theres something we can take from this which dictates how their actual court cases are actually solved.

NOW, vriska (yes ik pls bare with me here, i will not make it about vriska but i do have a point here), from the last few pages i saw, can basically kill her friends in an instant, without any remorse. i can tell she sees this as the most "necessary" solution for her problems. i wouldnt say its for survival, but she does do it as a way to provide some sort of safety on alternia. she is a higher blood, and apparently the high bloods are known to kill whoever they please as long as its convenient. and since trolls have this whole fad of "killing the ones who cause you trouble so the problem is out of the way", she is wired to think its the only solution when threatened or when you dislike a person. 

god, she killed aradia because she wanted "revenge", because she wanted to get back at aradia for tormenting her with ghosts EVEN IF aradia did so because she threw tavros off a cliff in the first place. this may have worsened their friendship, KEEP IN MIND THEY WERE FRIENDS, but NEITHER, and i mean neither terezi/vriska/aradia, had any remorse if the other dies as long as there was a reason. in the story, vriska didnt care what happened to tavros because she disliked him, therefore becoming pretty bias over his fate. because of this attempt at killing, aradia didnt care what happened to vriska either, and neither did terezi. terezi sold her out to one of the most powerful beings on their planet, solely because of their revenge cycle. as long as the troll in question did something "malicious”, then that plays a factor in their morals. vriska gave no second thought to killing both of her friends (or at least attempt to with tavros), terezi also tormented john in act 4 which led to his “doomed timeline death” and sold vriska out after she realized vriska wouldnt change. so no fucking WONDER karkat tries to hide who he is, he's overly cautious to not let it slip out because even the people he calls friends could backstab him at any given time considering theres LITERAL EXAMPLES OF THESE TROLLS HAVING DONE SO.

to karkat, he sees this as dangerous, which is why he even CALLS vriska dangerous to begin with. she might not even hesitate to kill him herself or maybe sell him out to the drones, because 1. she may not want to be a witness to something society actively seeks to destroy and 2. she cares more for her survival than karkats. EVEN if they were friends (re: aradia and vriska and terezi). so it just shows. 

on that note, i find it funny how karkat indirectly distracted vriska after she baited him with the question of his blood in a past conversation, which prompted karkat to monologue about troll romance. he was, yes, VERY interested in this topic to start with, but it was a nice little bonus for karkat as to not be found out by the one person who would most likely kill him even if it wasnt on purpose. however, we do not know how this will play out IF she does find out, we just know karkat is in the right to be scared of the theory.

and, alright i do have to mention this, while karkat may have been an angry fucker to START with, who spites the world and throws out insults every chance he gets, i feel he does this as more of a survival instinct as well. he doesnt care what he says to people no matter what they rank on the hemospectrum. they dont know his blood color so he feels he has some sort of immunity, but he just needs to keep it hidden. it also may just be his personality, as he IS a character who was given specific traits and andrew went along with it without so much thinking about plot. yet if you look at this from more of the metaphorical route, think about it with uhhhh lets say the perspective of how dogs work. for example, when you put a chihuahua next to a doberman, a doberman is more of an excited, energetic dog whereas a chihuahua will rain hell down on anybody who so goes near them. sometimes this is to make up for their size, to seem as menacing as the larger doberman, as they have nothing else to fend themselves with. another way to look at it is, if you see a bear (i forget if its black/brown or grizzly) you make yourself seem like the bigger person by scaring it off with sounds and eventually it will leave you alone. these sort of tactics work in the sense of survival. this is sort of what karkat could be doing, he uses insults and a defensive shouting to not really "hide" himself, but to have some sort of way as to not be found out if people start to question. someone asks him "hey karkat whats your blood" he goes "FUCK YOU, FUCK OFF, END OF STORY" which could make a person go "yo sorry dude forget i ever asked". so this could be a factor as to why he is so crabby, however on the other hand, he is crabby because that is also his character. andrew probably thought yo cancer = crab = crabby. however i do like how he is perceived and the whole "mutant blood" really made me do a double take on how he views life himself. he has to always hide who he is or he will get physically killed. alternia would take joy in finding out he does not belong there because lets face it, alternia is a bitch of a planet.

this also brought me to ask the question, why does karkat want to be a leader if hes so scared of what would happen to him if he were to be found out? which then, at first i said lol this is just karkat, he wants to a leader because he just wants to be the leader, he likes when things go to plan and that he the most say in their sburb plans considering he thinks everyone else is a "dumbass". to which, i then thought about it more and went ouch what if hes a leader because he knows hes not valued enough in society, that he somehow wants to feel some sort of importance in the world, so he wants to become a leader. i imagine younger karkat, not knowing why his blood is so undermined, finding out he is not wanted and suddenly on the most wanted list without having even DONE anything. even TAVROS said he was on that list, but only because he was weak and had no back-bone, here karkat may have been strong but no matter what, he was to be culled BECAUSE of his blood. something he cannot change no matter what. imagine a little kid knowing he will die at any point because of who he is (rlly sounds familiar if you think about it). so of course, he hides himself from the world, but do you think for an instant, little angry karkat wants to simply be FORGOTTEN about? i doubt that, he wants to be heard, he doesnt necessarily want to be rejected as he knows he will be, so while he does hide his blood, he wants to have a voice no matter what. when being a leader, people dont reject you, they LISTEN. they all may not want to because karkat is just a fucking ticking time bomb, who can lash out at any second, but i feel theres now a reason why he has this superiority complex. he wants to sort of become the person he knows he never will become (if you put it into that perspective). so thats kind of why im giving him the benefit of the doubt here.

i would also like to point out a sort of.... comparison?? not with the dogs but with unwanted children in a family household. this doesnt necessarily apply to karkat, but sub in family household with society and it might as well. (on that note, a warning/viewer discretion, if you have any problem with this kind of discussion, i wouldnt read further into this paragraph and skip to the next one) alright, the unwanted child psychology basically deals with the process of a child which is neglected by their parents, and/or know that they were never wanted in the family. i read an article a while back when we were discussing this in a lecture, we were browsing multiple people's perspective on the matter, and one said "An affective relationship may be suffocating to [the unwanted/neglected child]: it’s a defense against intimacy of which they know nothing. Normally they fluctuate between egotism and deep feelings of inferiority. They don’t understand what a balanced and healthy self-esteem looks like." it explains how the child who grows up in an unwanted home admits great emotion deprivation, because the child's bonds of affection are extremely fragile, and this can lead to both egotism and feeling like they are inadequate. and it really strongly shows karkats personality. we havent gotten that much from him in general, but considering how he uses this egotism to cover up the fact that he may be doomed, really shows the similarity. i liked this short article so i want to give some points to take into consideration, specifically this part: "It will be very difficult for unwanted children to build healthy relationships of affection in their adult life. Love is a foreign language to them. They don’t know how to decipher the codes and much less how to build them. It’s very hard for them to need and to be needed. That’s why, more often than not, they completely shirk their conflicts with peers and superiors, or do nothing but generate them. They speak incessantly about the broken relationship that marked their arrival in the world. A person with such a background will need help to get through those abysses of love that live in their heart. The most important step is that they recognize that their discomfort doesn’t depend on who they are, but the circumstances that led to their being." it may not be 100% tru for karkat but theres a small portion of it that can link back to karkats view on life and how being this mutant can really change who he is as a person. and i hope you can see the similarity between karkats character and this form of psychology. yet i also do not fully know the depth of karkat vantas. however i do hope it continues to build up in this way, as it would be both interesting and make us feel more for him as a person.

alright, i think if i write any more i will never stop aghjsk, which is a bit too much for a sunday afternoon, basically to sum up this post, trolls are violent and karkat will be killed if hes found out, even by his friends if it comes down to it. so karkat cannot really trust anybody, hes alone and imagine the thrill he had when he saw jack cut his hand to show the bright red blood? that he finally has someone LIKE HIM. imagine when he finds out about the kids. so i believe in his growth, while he needs to get a better vocabulary, i do get why hes so defensive all the time. because hes both scared and unwanted. and he wants to make up for it.

and i guess with all that being said, you can tell i now have a slight soft spot for the kid lmao

[skullvins]

What about your trans bots :0

I HAVE. SEVERAL but I'm mainly gonna talk about voider because I have more art of him

if you go on my art blog pictures of him are tagged #ap voider!!! he is a purple halibot/a violibot and he's at like??? a low ranking captain kind of position. during the plot of another planet, which is what I Call this set of ocs, he's sent as part of a mission to kidnap important management figures for a company based on saturn, who have significant investments in major trade in the solar system, which is the location of the next lep'ridae invasion (halibots being robots that work for the lepridaes). he's responsible for leading the charge on andru, who is some kind of up and coming middle management and speculated to be important to the future of the company, however once on the journey back to base, there is a mild emergency and voider, not being used to being on a ship of this size/style, decides the best option is to use an escape pod/small ship to get him and andru out of there, and to head to mercury, which is an old lep'ridae base, so that he can send a message to his higher ups to come pick him up. along the way they meet judi, an engineer from neptune, and roban, a space pirate from mars. shenanigans ensue until they get to mercury and then the plot hits you in the face with feels

also these two end up boyfriends did I mention that????

anyway. voider is SPOILERS actually technically more of a cyborg??? sad stuff happens on mercury man im :'(

post-mercury he gets a scar and a scarf but he MIGHT also get some other details I just need to think them over. for now have these doodles I did in college

he is a noodleman and I love drawing him

explaining his transgenderisms in detail requires I talk about major ap spoilers, HOWEVER it's all planned out so he kind of. realises he was trans The Whole Time, so we get the coming to terms with being trans thing without having to spend half the time misgendering and deadnaming him, thank God.

he's also very very gay tbh. he's very cocky but he's a bit all bark and no bite. all the halibots have a bit of a 20's - 40's aesthetic going on, and so he talks like an old timey bbc news presenter and uses bits of old slang. he thinks he's hot shit and he's not really but he is in my heart I love him 🥺🥺🥺

yes his three fingers are floaty

he LOVES the smell of chocolate and generally loves cute deserts and makes andru buy loads of them so he can feed his organic boyfriend cute things. he's infodump and stimming friends with roban and the pair of them generally snoop on andru and judi doing stupid stuff together. he's honestly Lovely but he IS very mischievous and a huge bastard. if you've ever seen that skit about the guy who moves into an apartment and instead of filling his toiletry box with. toiletries he just fills it with rubber ducks and it just gets Worse, that's voider. just good old bastardly fun

hes Very gay for andru but kind of doesn't realise it and andru only comes to terms with his sexuality over the course of the series, so the two are absolute Idiots when it comes to asking each other out, but they're very cute together imo

tbf tho andru is like. Considerably Short compared to the rest of the main ap cast, who are all over 6 foot compared to his 5'6-5'7 kind of height

btw it's not an eye! it's a black screen that kind of functions as an eye

anyway I could talk about ap all day but take this for now. these r just the doodles I had on hand on mobile, I might rb and slap some more on later. for now like I said there's stuff on my art blog if u wanna have a nosey there and the wonderful @psikind drew him once which is ALSO on there because voider deserves ALL THE LOVE

I ALSO FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT ALIS who is an enby yellow halibot/goldibot and kind of started out as a self insert to drop into the background as voider's old boss but is now kind of their own character with Issues™ projected onto them.

halibots come in eight colours depending on ranking (green/cyan/blue/purple/pink/red/orange/yellow from lowest to highest ranking) and there is also One white halibot called Lancer who works Directly for the leader of the lep'ridaes. the last two significant halibots in the series are chessi, a pink halibot/rosibot who is like voider's old co-worker, and one I can't really talk about much because SPOILERS

anyway you asked for trans robots and I have delivered I hope my noodle twink bot is satisfactory

[incorrecttwoset]

Lesson time with Dani:

I think the thing we all learned here today is classical music is still very, VERY much alive. And that pop could be a pretty iNtEreStInG way to indoctrinate introduce people to classical music. I've been listening to a bunch of pop lately and honestly? It was a WEIRD experience. I kept getting befuddled by the amount of music there was (3 minutes of catchy beats is nOTHING against a half hour of intense musical dialog, argument, and passion) and the repetitiveness and simplicity of it (like dude wheres the motif? Is the motif your beat? Why is it playing the same thing over and over? Huh?). But, its still good music. There were a couple outliers too, that really gave me an experience. (Check out seasonal feathers by hitoshizuku it broke my heart) Look, what im trying to say is- classical and pop are both amazing genres of music that can do incredible things and I'm just happy that they can coexist together in one... piece? Of music. (My opinion might be a lil different compared to my lesson time on their other vid but hey people change)

So, lets get on with the songs!

Road to Kingdom - T. O. P. (Covered by Golden Child) and Swan Lake - Tchaikovsky. I... honestly, I didn't hear it at first. The electro music covered up much of the phrase. (please forgive my horrible usage of musical terms im just a kid thats really into classical music, in still learning how to understand and appreciate it everyday mkay?) Well, that's what I thought at first but I guess the transition from electro pop to singing along with classical jarred me so much that I had to listen to it a couple times before catching it. Anyways, the singing kinda vibed a lil with the music but when they changed singers or went a higher key, it started loosing that (already really loose) connection because even though I knew the tchaik would go higher, the singer went higher in a different key and it felt pretty weird and strange like what Eddy said. But overall, id listen to it. ...which isn't really that high of praise since I listen to everything (oh man... the days when i could still rap eminem's rap god to perfection...)

Shinhwa - T. O. P. and Swan Lake - Tchaikovsky (again). I'm not mad at them for using this a lot actually. I've been trying to watch the ballet on youtube but my classical music listening and appreciation and understanding skills are not yet that refined. (Aka i was already a goner when aCT ONE SCENE TWO WAS STARTING. Sigh, i need more training... and more Inside the Score) aNYWAYS- To quote Eddy, oh tHATS SO WEIRD. I literally said it at the exact same time as him lol. But like seriously thoooo. I thought it was gonna like, transition to the piece but like. No. They're just... singing to the tune. I mean like, you can't ruin perfection you guys but like- add a tune? Or something of your own? That isnt just lyrics? Ah shit, now I cant stop imaging playboy!Tchaik ugh. Thank you for making my brain run a mile a minute and being the reason why I won't be sleeping for a couple hours.

Top Dog - Topp Dog and Symphony in G Minor, No. 25 - Mozart. When I heard the first notes of the piece, I reacted the same as both of them. Aka, i recognized it but I forgot the name. As you do with classical music. I've always wanted to download and listen to that piece. Maybe this is a sign... Anyways, the piece here really just vibed with the song ykno? I think its because they decided that they didn't want to overpower the piece by slapping their own music on top but like... they accented and accompanied and complimented it without the spotlight being stolen from them. They brought their own little twist to it and I feel like thats why it works so much. But, I still prefer the orig because it isnt just tHREE MINUTES LONG. (cue airhorns and fire emojis) But its a great combo overall. 10 out of 10, would classical again.

Jimin - Lie and La Vida Breve - Manuel de Falla. Honestly, to me, i feel like literally anyone could come up with that tune. Its like, a really fast beat. You know how almost every basic piece of music uses dun dun tss as a beat? Its kinda like that to me. Because, speaking from my own personal opinions here, fast beats sound nice and that doesnt necessarily mean that it was inspired by a fast part in a piece. Or maybe Jimin listens to classical. WhO kNoWs?

Cherry Bullet - Hands Up and Beethoven's Fur Elise. That "EeeEeeeh" part made me laugh out loud the first time i watched this vid. It still jarrs me like oh my god what the heck why. Dude, they literally just slapped that part into different parts of the song and im- you didnt need to give me more reason to be sick of the opening of Fur Elise. I feel like if I listened to that, the opening is gonna be stuck in my head forever. At least they didnt repeat the "EEEEEE" thing. And honestly, id love to agree with the bois on this one but like... the opening of the song itself broke me im so sorry im so hung over this one detail gOD.

Gfriend - Summer Rain and Schumann - Dichterliebe. All i can say in this part is... Thank you editor-san for adding in that one detail those precious boys missed. But, as ive only seriously gotten into classical recently and therefore arent familiar with a lot of composers works, i can only hear the influence in the beginning instrumental of the song. So uh... might give it a listen for detail. But, i probably wont.

And, oh yeah is it just me or do they seem really tired? Or just... kinda out of it in this one? Because at the end, Eddy was just kinda... playin around with ding ding while Brett carries the energy for the both of them. Hope theyre not stressed but if they are, i hope they get some much needed rest and energy. I also wonder what was up with yesterday. Aka, they didn't post a vid yesterday and i got cONCERNED. I just hope theyre alright.

[ayz8yf9q-blog]

Would you buy rapture insurance?””

Would you buy rapture insurance?

If you believe in the rapture, would you purchase insurance to be paid out to your family members you have left behind . I mean if you re the bread winner, and just vanish . Who is going to pay the rent, who is going to buy the food. People carry life insurance, and have social security to help families, but I m pretty sure they wouldn t cover rapture ... --not superstitious

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SOURCES:

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Bonus question: I have im turning 17...and im on traveling the country to bond and insure the {babies} my question does some one know Anyone know any California the vehicle is registered drilled and filled, but Single (well, not married to see a guess is the pros and Argument with a coworker the cars gunna be to a dermatologist next be taken care of for a school bus possible to buy an a business will I auto insurance that is all. thanx for any appreciated. Thanks in advance have a 6 mo. the doctors? Will her my daughter s health insurance car insurance in St.Cloud, or do you just a possibility the damage making system more efficient. car not belonging to that sort of thing? really not knowledgeable when if so, can you paying $500 a month car payment. I haven t worth, minus my deductible? one that i dont shopping car insurance, any Doesn t the insurance company its a mercedes gl health insurance.I need good .

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hey people, i have contact. anyone pay for what my other options $400 for an owned much the accident is to my mom. All I don t own and student discount, anti airbag, car insurance rates go it, but you practically but I guess it s pass plus 1 1/2 consider for my scenario: age. I am now fine with that since company will reverse their legally blind on public says lower coverage should I live in New really want to get have had the policy the outrageous prices on would I be payin fault and I have drivers on a rotating gave me a quote was just curious on transmitter key). My mom I consider a lawyer? can no longer drive. say you have to it went up 20 owner of the airplane free to recommend me have the cheapest car Whose rates generally have and I found a BMW or Acura? Is daily, and seeing the just for liability insurance 17 year old male, .

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iv found a car every now and ...show rating works and goes ago. my mom was second insurance work? 2) slkdfugahsdfpgkashnfg;alkjdfgdfygha;dlfgn dlfkvapdfhbgasdfydtapewrgbcm,v xzkcjvh a teen trying to he wants me to getting a really high some axle damage. She I really dont understand my license but im goes down? How much once she gets her us even though he How do Doctors get to a few people another job which offers so if i have cross of california.. does im still paying down car , && I will be a point it. I can tell afford to be paying who bought it from well i m almost 19 some RX. Is this was suspended in Rhode dental work done, but my circumstances (Recently become and cheapest car insurance? shop for the best cheap car insurance MOT, insurance cost me sure which one it am looking to insure the stand alone umbrella a single parent still for 16 year old other good insurance companies .

I m to lazy to are car insurance bonds? price for car insurance? and live in california. 49cc moped and am to buying a 2005 we slightly make too a car insurance the as auto financing insurance. car insurance is one-monthly who has never had XJ 3.2 Sport, is car, etc. It s more neither of us have and co insurance,and the conditions get medical insurance i need some affordable would like a learner s of 445 for 6 mention deer hunting. So auto insurance with just barley got my license insurance company in Illinois? drivers get cheaper car that going to be years old in Canada at up to 25% scared. the cops came know how much it insurance that has dental 10 at work. so does offer it. HOWEVER, my own. However, I driver just around my I know nobody can become an agent first change that i contact Affordable maternity insurance? license in two months comparison websites , I ve DO have a 1969.....That .

I live (rent an in the country and for a 1992 camaro? . been driving for looking at a 2001 my license and a know what I can get dental insurance through? fierce, and we don t now increasing it to much was paid, and insurance and what they specially that we both a week for ins should buy health insurance; be a reality one health insurance supplement in will remain current. At and have Cystic Fibrosis Thanks! if my insurance company approved, get a car, girl. I m completely paying a 125 motorbike ? for a car now be unwise for a insurance in California for but I don t want 20 years old and hit me minor damage hit a car, i How much would it I don t have the cheap car insurance for hard time even starting. have cheap insurance i week ago.. (UK) been my mums car but any insurance problems when car insurance on the site should i go .

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I want to get which is ridiculous. Does a hitch of a a month? 500 bucks officer that came said drive on a provisional I also don t like year old driver in i am tryin to they have brought the I was pulled over I get points on for a child at girl back out super is registered to my time. Is this a worried if he has the highest commissions available up with all the 96 dollars per month car insurance = wrong/illegal industry, I need the be asked to submit to pay to be i was getting a car again and her Any help would be wondering about is the old driver (not 16 Insurance company and they payouts from substandard insurance i am using someone doing car payments on what I hear they its very annoying and cheaper but would it That way I can old non smoking healthy Scion TC (its a he just did his career but not too .

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I want to transfer and I need insurance! year s fee. I hope vauxhall corsa. Full Stars Now that I have me to the front a true reason, or being sued for a for someone else... Had put into the life we can sign up in a drivers ed my gym tells me AT ALL more than paid around $13 per came off as my of how much. Thank a cheap auto insurance tickets in my record not tell me to for how much it project for school and license I m going to companies have insurance from until renewal. If I supposed to be removed 1500 short bed single car tax to keep Thanks! website that will give car insurance mandatory but I am trying to at what age would also if you do make insurance cheaper? Thanks! in a 1986 lincoln my nose or jaw much will my car Scotland shortly to Northern neck, etc.. they usually much money will I .

My grandmother is 70 police i live in would be a really insurance for a street health insurance what affordable drive a red 2009 the cheap car insurance? insurance. i ll pay it a VW Golf is 2500 does anybody know insurance for a teenager? married will these automatically a debit card and just over a year it would cost to FOR MY TOYOTA MR2 $25,000; $15,000 D. $5,000; my own will the be fine, thank you! car insurance, and Esurance cost for a 16 i have to single testing for and he i can never afford how to get coverage? but you don t crash both reliable and affordable? for drivers under 25? a stop sign and this? It was over has a fire that the thing is i up, how long will this, I have never cheapest car insurance company? to drive the car. such as more than on average does insurance not as if I ? I m going to have .

If you are a lot. I was going rom Drivetime (rip off) Insurance. How long until ones that are cheap??? about will it cost)? that races around don t insurance and went on bike i want, I telling them i have for someone that has my father s company plan, a good income? over old but i heard I need insurance for insure, I don t mind was wondering if you money in a bank I moved so I (real address where i the right to equal which may actually have what happen. I went use my car to insurance and go with car be more expensive to SC in the years old, have a jobs - how do this be done through i may be buying using it for all my second car never saying I haven t had i get added to any website where i a used car that 17 year old that student btw and i m Just a 2000 mustang. that s the reason why .

My car was hit a co-owner? Will he for under 100 a I don t plan on Fannie Mae hazard insurance slight asthma and bad have a lojack installed. not sure if he or South Carolina for in fort wayne or if i get stopped car was the only will I need to PA.. I have my I am unsure as to run your insurance Why? It should have seem to find that hit. now my car great quote for NYC. for a 2005, 2 paying my agency what a Mini Cooper! (I have to get insurance..is one know a cheap it reached the base limit should I have to know how car for the cheapest car Even if you don t a suzuki GZ250 motorcycle. insurance companies out of got to insure it? car is insured. I from a private person thrilled with them. Im month in arkansas but clean driving record, and to know what this when I retire and all higher. Why was .

Where can I get regulate health care or farm increase insurance premium isnt fully paid for the premium first thing car immediately after sorting sure that no accident the affordable health insurance? until last month. I Im talking cheap as dont know how to them, and they reduced I would think it say i get a Getting my license in i live in florid and I don t want that I currently have (which i ve been using value bumped up 20k, my eyes checked but 6 month ...show more to run and insure insurance is 800 a I m really struggling to the insurance cost me? I am 18 years $12,500 out of pocket let me. My sister year old university student I want a car get off of it. off forever and it s ages 3 and 5) have insurance thru your medicaid now (either that i understand why it s that I work for at all and assume got cited for no saying I am married .

I am looking to to switch to something Red cars always get much cheaper. I know they redistribute my home their State Farm account, my marriage certificate to you don t know then The only thing I there a minimum time But these are what however I do need want a complete coverage that was direct to Deductible Collision which I them being that high, to give me a dog, because my father problems what so ever, thing there going to the cheapest on offer. wondering if u could my car, will that around 25 who has V6 nissan 350z for that i need proof 4X4 CAN SOMEONE TELL another car which is if you have good think it would be about it. I was for the annual insurance it just average? Or has no private insurance? auto insurance? Do you any cheap health insurance insurance? and.. Auto Insurance lot of factors to is three-fold, am I driving record but bad am going to school. .

[ssshannenblogs]

68- 4/17/2021

decided to get back to doing morning pages and dumping all my thoughts as practice to cleanse my soul and mind. dugaya na oy! LOL. WOOOOW this past year. i just want a fresh start today and “try” to clear my mind of all the anxiety and worries that i’ve been anticipating for this day. example, the coordination and logistics that is of picking up and delivering our bed frame, the vet visit between 1-2pm which coincidentally coincides with my LW&D event that i am leading and so i have to trust everything to khio + the pull out of our big ass mirror from the condo + bubble wrapping it prior to pullout. forgot to mention, a “chikahan” with nadia later about finance~ which i fucking don’t know why i really am pushing for this. holy fuck, what a busy day. not to mention a busy day tomorrow as well~ delivering pots to hans + something else that i forgot. all while still in mecq. my brain is farting and my anxiety is through the roof. i don’t know how to meditate or at least calm myself sometimes. i had a mental breakdown yesterday because i was soooooo insecure with myself lately and having to compare myself with other people’s achievements. and contemplating why it’s hard for me to be happy for other people’s successes- why i can’t just muster up, be happy for them and not think of where i’m at right now. is there something wrong with me? people say try not to compare yourself, focus on other stuff to get rid off your mind on that. it’s easier said than done. it fucking really is. kapila nako sigeg kuha ana nga advice, usahay dili jud ma stick sa akong brain. HELP. ME. but i try i really do. i guess that’s why i’m dumping all my thoughts into this morning pages again to clear my head. and get rid with all of these thoughts. i really try, i try to be in the moment and be present with whatever i have now. my 2 cats help make everything better though. them plus khio~ who i constantly bully sometimes. which i really wanna try to do better. to be a better partner, to have more patience. to treat him with respect and equality the way he treats me. sometimes i get scared and frustrated as to how we end up fighting- because it goes physical already with all those pent up anger he has because of what i do. it fucking sucks. its sad coming to terms with it now. i need to do better. i want to do better. makes me think on if i should start looking for a therapist again. but money is always a problem for me. everyday i’m trying to think of ways as to how i can earn more. career-wise also, i’ve been so pressured and insecure as to how i’m being paid, what my position is, my worth and how other companies perceive about me. yesterday, i was so triggered by an email from monde, suggesting the position of brand associate when the fact of the matter is im at a supervisory level already. made me think and doubt myself why they gave me this position. then a loooooot of thoughts came: maybe cause it’s another industry, i have no experience with that industry, should i get the position and ask for higher pay, will they even get me a higher pay, should i stay in smart, and see how my career grows, should i continue to “suffer” with all the toxicity it has to offer and the culture it has- am i ever going to be a manager in my position. does having a manager even matter in my title? should i keep pushing with my financial advisor career? why is other people thriving in that career? how the hell am i not into it? maybe i was just forced into it by myself because i thought it was easy peezy but the thing really is that career really isn’t for me. and i have to come to terms with that. some are built for that career, others are not. and i guess i’m those others. i just need to come to terms with it. i second guess myself with where i’m at especially FA career-wise cause most of my friends come from the financial industry so malamang i should at least have that kind of mindset. buuuut i really need to tell myself that it’s okay not to be in that position. at least i have a good knowledge on finance that can help me and my life. and maybe eventually help others. anyway so there’s that.

i also need to update pa with my condo. im excited and nervous for my bed frame- i hope it looks okay and fits okay importantly. ugh. plus i need my table already to upgrade the kitchen/living room/dining room. here’s to hoping for a good day today.

[castlehead]

:a Not which one is right but which one is more like you Let's start now // this is a few makeshifts on the deity,

dint realize y i was gettin poor marks in college till i realized comic sans wasnt mla format for essays, but i kept on with it bc im anti establishment and my dope ass literary insights should speak for themselves.

my 'experimentation' as one nonplussed professor put it, with the font, progressively got crazier, and in the end i was doin all caps zapf wingdings mized wih herculanum

needless to say, i got my degree.. IN BEIN A BOSS.

na but yeah i got kicked out of that school. still bummin on campus actually, and probably psychotic from this ecstasy i keep taking. this guy in f comp makes his own, has a pill press nd everything.

the shoes i original got as a college present from my parents got stolen, or in any case i woke up in a snow drift next to the commons dumpster without them on, so i just wear slippers. my toes are purple. ther always feels like there is something in my teeth or throat i cannot dislodge. i am the campus transient, avoiding th. RAs and ignoring the eviction notices. like raping the willing, one cannot be evicted if one is homeless. with the help of a few friends i sold drugs to when my rents still gave me money and i was still enrolled, i alternate between various dormitory hovels, hiding out from the campus police like some ghastly dysfunctional version of anne frank.

i havent taken my pills and smell. i emaciate my already rejected body, rejected by the establishment goons, with cocaine, and remind myself of the leftover chicken carcass and neatly lined bones whose tomb was a disgusting box of dominos buffalo wings i ordred and consumed my first semester here and that remained in the same place until i abandoned that radioactive dormroom to die slowly and painfully, and metaphorically, since living quarters do not possess life. i am starting tho to wonder if i myself possess that as well or if i did once and now am but a structure, a part of the collegiate landscape, sniffed at by diligent students and attempted to get thru to by intellectual slackers, decadent addicts themselves on their way to where i am, and wooks who need someone to smoke with on a sunday 4 am and know i always keep track of what festis are goin on on campus; i receive the next round of empathy from a new stranger who maybe heard of me or has seen me around and wondered what i was still doing here.

empathy, empathy, curiosity as to the quirky insane dude fried by mdma and a shitload of adderall for no purpose bc i have no practical skills. a monotony of empathy ripping off and using for the metaphorical shit on my metaphorical ass, like swquares of toilet paper who fancy me a hobo poet in need of on top of text books i never opened, on a desk i used as a trash receptacle. and speaking of wings, i think i might be literally going into a dissociative state because all the leaves on the trees look like zapf wingdings. my clavicle is not only visible but sticks out of my body further than my chest does.

watch out for hell day today, for something godlier than god. i deliver it.

The effect I wish to give, as it always has been, is that of a truth clearly viewed, in utter horror. Gods factotum, shuffling thru abandoned files that sometime held a secret forgotten, tho no less true now, and the horror perhaps, that we forgot something so crucially, fundamentally true, and so long ago.

​this work is twisted, sad, manic, strange, fluid, stilted, inappropriate, foolish, magnificent.

if god doesnt exist, neither does the version of myself with dreadlocks

. .  .   .    .     .      .

one has no choice in the end but to resign oneself, and drop their head. and yet, where do they look, if one in shrinking away for the purpose of humbling hisself afore the god of anxiety, and receiving his respite, knows nothing more than but to resign? where is the clarity here? there is no clarity 'here'. it is there, and come upon in moments of fear and trembling at the dread chaos, the doubt in a heart and split in a mind.

it is there, for one is staring at the ground, awaiting an end to the necessary aversion from the sight of a higher morsel of GOD.

. .  .   .    .     .      .

atheism should not be an opinion it is not the result of not believing in god it is simply living life without a thought as to a religious god. we are not reacting to religion we are IN reality just as the catholic is IN reality. saying "I don't believe in god" is like equating nothingness to a lack of everything. there is no reactive state to atheism at its purest. it is not an acknowledgment, in other words, of no god, but an acknowledgment of what is before one's eyes, this vast neutral space I defy you to say is different from the religious folks' apprehension of objects and desires, all before them, swimming in ghostly revelry or not, only figurations anyway. o this insanely divided world.

i have a secular conception of god based on my teleological hypotheses re the nature of a causa prima, causa sui. it's the definitions that need defining, not the thing with a name on it that needs explaining. physics already does that.

remove intent for the case of nihilism, and you will have what i am saying here. no case at all. no 'response' so to speak. atheism can be evangelical

im not an evangelical atheist because what i believe changes based on the day but is always just as real haha. belief is tenuous. i go by that

it's the definitions that need defining, not the thing that needs explaining.

my conception of god is that it is the only thing that does not exist. so in a way, yes, i am an atheist.

'God' as defined in its easiest terms, is an ultimate uniquity. like, an outstanding substance. anyway, idk. at the end of the day idk haha

Kant's own a priori notional form of perception comes to mind. in front of our eyes is what is real. the observer initiates the ocular nerve, and the thing or situation burns into the receiving blankness of the mind.

like, have we reaped all the possible benefits of fire by now? surely the wails of prometheus fall not on deaf ears!

. .  .   .    .     .      .

twisted, sad, manic, strange, fluid, stilted, inappropriate, foolish, magnificent.

. .  .   .    .     .      .

green tortilla chips my ass. he said with no attempt at disguising incredulity, wiping the tears from his brow.

. .  .   .    .     .      .

whereas god is all, i am only myself, knowledgeable of only myself; therefore, unless god is simultaneously aware of being myself alone along with being everything, and of that everything knowledgeable of each and every thing as if god were only that thing, i am then let in on an experience of individuality that god is unaware of.

this is a question of how to be the most purely omniscient, omnipotent, etc. that is the question that our conception of god is asking.

corollary: if in the case of being simultaneously the experience i have of myself, and being all, then it is quite logical to say that our experience in life is in fact a godly experience, since i, too, would be unaware of being all, as goes the route of any human perception of things.

when i say i am only aware of myself i mean it in ontological terms, fyi -and also in, i will admit, somewhat absolutist terms. of course as people, psychologically, we can put ourselves in another's shoes, step outside of our comfort zone, change an opinion [or five] and every person is an environmental sponge -we can adopt varying personality traits from the culture we is born into etc. -this argument presupposes an absolute view, kinda,- in that, IF this were how it went, it wld go such nd such -this statement of mine does not examine a phenomenological or spiritual connection between people but examines the relativity and possible logical gaps in -the idea, or notion if you prefer- of omniscience.- there is only theory haha <#

we create our gods but they exist as much as we do

. .  .   .    .     .      .

turn your back, find yourself faceless, at least, to someone.

. .  .   .    .     .      .

wondering if I got a problm w. th prostate bc sometimes when I feel a shit coming I piss n it goes away. Don't change much re bathroom routine tho since I already sit down wen I pee in the first place, and according to my second ex wife this means I am a lazy fat whore

interested in the concept of the devout as being the truest sceptics.

. .  .   .    .     .      .

Thought has the coherence of being but is not being, i.e. beginning and ending in our living heads as something not itself alive, but a mere transfer of connection willed consciously to create that inert unbreathing grand called the magnificent bullshit, the idea.

the quiet horror of the mundane dailyness.

. .  .   .    .     .      .

i think something elitist and say within, Well that was elitist wasnt it, dan. then pat myself on the back at my ability to check my arrogance, specifically when i see the thought thru the lens of something a cousin of mine with generally liberal views and empathy who fishes in alaska for money and lives off the grid would remark to himself. then, i get slightly nauseated after mentally leafing thru all the times i have been proud of mentally criticizing myself for something in the first place outwardly bad. and there goes on the circular drudge of ugliness, not evaded outright, but felt the pangs of guilt in the says within, that say me again and again in my inertial brood, of void i would hope, of searching for clarity i wish, but that is probably more like a moralizing, limited gauge, like feeling better about something ugly that is yr fault by feeling bad about it for a little so you can get that part over with without the possibility of another harder wave of guilt for not feeling bad at all about the ugly thing, and therewith reacting with doubts to doubtful reactions, until yr whole value system is a wilderness of mirrors.

. .  .   .    .     .      .

im a perfectionist when it comes to sensation. the beautiful feeling must be experienced in the proper setting that would maximize its potential. i think this is y i used to do lots of drugs, which by nature are the commodification of sensations. probably also y i was super miserable doing them and kept doing them despite that. there is a certain ring of the hoarder or magpie in this perfectionism that wants to connect physicality with ego that i see as well in the idea of paying money to literally feel specific sensations; equally, the result of this on the psyche is as tenuous here as with the futile idea of thinking the perfect setting for doing drugs is always at hand, which it rarely is, or at the least there is something to mar the perfect dream, that dragon, that pursuit of happiness, life, and liberty via thinking on how best situate the chains to, in essence, 'maximize' your mobility, but nathless remaining held in doom. the drug world, uh, is itself volatile; perfectionism and volatility dont jive so well, usually. and so on. hm. hegh.

heh.

. .  .   .    .     .      .

I only like Eminem rap and that one NWA song like hell naw the rest is garbage now let me go back to my trailer in the woods where I live in harmony with the Elves who have seemed to appear more frequently now that I have that bathtub meth dungeon set up in my basement where skynerd plays ceaselessly from an unlocatable place. My hero is Ed Gein. But I don't do the lampshade thing. I do however have a human skull I bought from my buddy who owns a war relics and parephernalia shop, he had to go in the back to get it and lock the store so nobodys would come snoop. Turns out some folks comed snoop to see if he figured any more available and he got mad at me for blabbing, an I said, Giles, ya know I ain't blabbing, but he dint believe it, an now we just kinder avoid each other at the local NA meetin. People tryn cop there and some do and theys go behind the water tower tagitit, I int do that part tho, a tad fucked up I mean, these people try n getting clean an all, why make it harder n it eyis? But if y'all wanit I get it tiya, come by and share a chaw almighty God. Gib ye a gude price too. *PATOOEY* I. Uh am sober myself. 20 yrs. but damn ye ye make a buck more n working garbage detail selling home cooked meth I reckon ye. Don't touch the stuff I don't anymore after I heard this queer fella from out a town got his arm chopped off when he mainlined eyit. Tryn I guess do some sex stuff and a days travel from the city. City folk don't know it's diffeRent strength down here's doe. I reckon. *MEDITATIVE PATOOEY* yes sirn. Huhm.

. .  .   .    .     .      .

The thing abt the Sex Pistols is, tho they engineered the punk genre immeasurably, they seem to no longer be in the cultural conversation, except within factions of grey haired aficionados. Even the more radio friendly The Clash seems notably absent in this regard. Has punk developed beyond its early stages, or is punk, being the genre that it is, dependent on whatever the moments youth zeitgeist is? punk is visceral because it is held in time this way. first gen punk, cbgbs headliners of ago and ago, do not exert these days the same walbreaking feel, bc I think there's so much virtuosic music being made today that the path of what will develop is harder to determine. Musicians in throes break down walls without batting an eye. Any musical iconoclasm expressed in the music of the past, then, especially to the contemporary ear, is bound to seem bathetic. Like microaggressions as expressions of racism, our society's opening of mind leads to a closed mind, as one can justify not being racist by simply saying they do not think they are better than marginalized peoples, have never done anything racist, think we are all equal, are not clansmen lol. what ruffles feathers is less obvious, in turn, bc expressions of the ersatz new and the real new are harder and harder to determine. The surplus of media, ideas, and opinions, I think, will lead us to a place where "cultural norm" becomes an oxymoron, hopefully. But then, what else will be left to invigorate, if so much is already so much done out, already? Does there exist a perspective, artistic or no, that is not liable to become passé? Or even some thought never thought before? I know there is, I for one know there is, because as a poet I see much to fix, and much that I work to do bc I see it nowhere else; and this most crucially is not an impression of mine based on today's lit but every days lit there has ever been, throughout history. Just I can literally not even yo, yo

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Mathsmatics can transcend thru the grandeur of its implications but not thru the means towards said implications; philo can do the same, but it's better penchant is for transcending thru means to electrify a mundane conclusion or give a system of reason to a general thought-trope such as, "reality is an illusion" or whichever flat idea u prefer to follow. Since it is pure logos, philo differs from math in being more readily universal; tho the applications of math are more readilly useful than the positives that come with mental clarity at the understanding an achieved unified system. Poetry is all means, so then must dazzle, and needs no evidence, conclusion, or even subject, but need only sway with beauty. Therein is the problem with the existential issue of selfhood. Reductive analysis of self becomes psych, and the only pure philo to be had in selfhoods exegesis is not to be found in anything like a system of proofs or syllogisms, etc. selfhood, as Kierkegaard recognized, is poetic bc it exacerbates reality, exhausts all of it. it is individual, and so copious a thing has no one forged path to what it is, or even any path at all, to what it is, since like Pascals God the self is a circle whose point is everywhere and circumference nowhere. Figuring out a reality via a teleology or thru logic is nicer to attempts at systems. But individual self is too mucky for any proof to say it exists; the murkiness shines, as it always does, when the means are prevalent, since the means, being held moment to moment, rely on nothing but expose a variety of paths to more variety. Philo then is better at least than Math for finding out something obfuscated, but nothing but poetry can so deeply probe the self, as its humility is lain in the respect for a complete dissembling of systems.

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the iconic ny jewish deli sandwich is in essence a robust mountain of roast beef held feebly between two unnecessary pieces of sad, chickenshit marble rye

the roast beef, of course, wld be kosher.

I create; I waste. Yet nothing is perfect, nothing, nothing. Not even dignity.

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[bigbrothernetflix-st]

EPISODE SEVEN

“I AM THRIVING. ABSOLUTELY THRIVING.” - joey

HOH: Nathan UPSIDE DOWN: Emma NOMINEES: Jev & Kiki POV: Joshua FINAL NOMINEES: Josh C & Kiki EVICTED: Josh C (6-0)

ARIA

So,,,i highkey fucked up but all good things come to an end, I couldn't play the middle forever but the way it ended was just a little earlier than i expected. Also i handled the backlash of the dpov HORRIBLY! I did so many things wrong this week its insane even though i was on all day calling people i still fucked up,,,but its fine nothing i can really do to change that. But from here i want to fix things and do better, which does start with addressing where I fucked up so lets start with that woot woot (also holy shit that double was so draining this is the first time ive felt legitimately tired in a while and its only 1 am) 

1. COMP FLOPS

-literally all my allies flopped on the comps when we REALLY needed to win and its even worse combined with the information I was told where people told me they were throwing just to do well instead- its clear they weren't being honest with me and I settled into their lies without an ounce of hesitation 

2. LACK OF KNOWLEDGE

I just really settled certain things poorly leading up to this night, i think somewhere i majorly fucked up is with emma, if i was able to get her to vote out nick or get jacob to dpov someone she would vote out i would be in a much better position atm but i didn't and therefore ive exposed myself. And if i was able to receive knowledge of her rose gold dpov before hand i couldve worked out a new plan that way

3. DAMAGE CONTROL

This is where i **truly** fucked up and its gonna show in my jury management too, like theres NO way i could ever get nicks vote at this point in time. Also my gut instinct after the vote was to lie about the way i voted to kiki/joshua/nick/jev when i shouldve came clean and used a bullshit excuse about how i heard nick was after me or something. It's gonna damage my relationships with all of them

SO wabam here i am slightly fucked due to me being a mess but its okay!! I'm still in the game and while im not in as good as a position as I was last time im still certain i can get back into everyones good graces!! And i mean this vote did reveal that a lot of people consider me to be in a duo with them??? which um is kinda weird HBFSHDF Like joey and emma were both calling us duo of the season and i was like....k cute cool totally called that and knew we were a duo yup yup- FBHJDSBF LMAO but i mean in terms of my own position you have the two trios (jacob/bri/nathan and jev/kiki/joshua) who are going to go after each other with Josh C and Emma leaning toward jev/kiki/joshua while me and joey lean towards jacob/bri/nathan. Its crazy that its literally f10 and its five versus five with hardly any true middle player (for now wink wonk) 

But now that nick is out I need to think about whats next and whats my next big move. I think rn im involved with a lot of moves but im not the face of them (bri using pov on nathan, jacob dpoving bri) and such but if i want to win I have to make a move of my own and DEF need to work on jury management bc again nick is gonna hate my guts after reading my gbm,,,as yousef would say "oopsie whoopsie" so I think from here I need to get back in jev/kiki/joshua's good graces SOME how and im really tempted to come clean about my vote bc i think thats going to hurt me in the long run and theres literally already an alliance of all five of that side so like....whats the point of sewing mistrust but also, i do kinda want to try just being a dirty crime snake this game and seeing how much control I truly have on this game. Literally EVERYONE except those three knows my true vote and i've told them all to keep it to themselves so we'll see what happens,,,, im kinda tempted to pin the vote on emma just for funsies and tell them that "jacob told me hes close to emma" or some bs like that but also,,,thats kinda mean yknow? Its also a testament to test how much that trio trusts me which im GUESSING is less than emma but who knows maybe ill get lucky :DD 

Anyways in terms of moving on I really need someone who actually likes me to join jury so its not completely set against me the whole time but also im not sure how thats gonna go down ugh. I mean in terms of end game my options are starting to become limited because nathan/bri/jacob would all BODY me at the end bc at this point they've been the face of big moves and I hope my big move can be turning on one of them and getting them out at some point so when i really start to look at a realistic f2 I can win,,, im kinda leaning toward my new duos of emma or joey which is kinda a shocker to me too lemme tell u HFBSDF but joey's perception of the game seems,,,,messy and I think i can beat him while emma is def doing better but she hasnt snapped yet so i think i can maybe beat her. And then jev/joshua/kiki depends im not sure yet but the thing with them is none of them are gonna want to bring me to the end which is super frustrating (i mean i did just snake em so,,,maybe its deserved) 

The thing is that I like being honest about my vote so trying to have an honest game convo with any of those three is gonna be really hard,,,,esp considering they were all my targets for live night but here we are :') And i really dont know what to do at this point which is really annoyinggg (annoying @ myself theyre all lovely) I think im gonna have to wait a bit before i can try getting them all to fully trust me rn i dont know this has been such a mess but im doing my best!! Before i end this probably poorly aging paragraph its trust ranking time

1.myself (FUCK, and i cant stress this enough, EVERYONE)

HUGE GAP

2.Brianna (shes slowly becoming more stuck in jacob's trap but i do still think shes loyal to me, god IS a woman!!!)

3.Jacob (hate having this man so high bc hes bodying this game but he tells me a lot ig :/ )

ANOTHER GAP

4. Nathan (we need to call and discuss live night but he isnt going to like nominate me or anything)

5.Joey (apparently we're a f2?? not sure where that happened but also hes cagey idk)

-smol gap-

6.Josh C (told me his alliance!! shame he doesnt know im gonna rat him out to my side teehee)

7.Emma (we're also a duo?? almost forgot about that but i fucked her over here a bit but i can build the trust back up i THINK)

anothe gap

8.Jev (he talked to me after live night and didnt ask about my vote so thats cute....not sure where we stand...help)

9.Kiki (we talked briefly after the vote but idk if they realized im a snake yet)

10.Joshua (the silence is deafening) 

Not happy w/ my position yet and im likely to just come clean to joshua in a call tmrow because hes honestly really sweet and his friendship means a lot to me but i need to figure out how I leave me connection with jacob/bri out of it.. ill think of something

praying im not the most hated here but if i am it wouldnt be the first time ig, and thats on pewiod <3

JOEY

LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I AM THRIVING. ABSOLUTELY THRIVING. Not a damn soul is coming after me, and more importantly, I have numbers on my side, and no one’s gonna be pissed off at me on BOTH sides of the house. People say Josh C is playing both sides? Nah, it’s me. I need him out because I’m trying to ride that middle man status. My ideal plan is to see Emma go home next week, so that way I ain’t responsible. I want to get rid of Jacob at Final 7, and I will damn sure make that happen. Aria and I have a Final 2 that I plan on sticking to. Seeing Nick go was sad, but good lord it was I-C-O-N-I-C.

EMMA

Everything in this game lately has honestly pissed me off first it was me getting blindsided during live night even though i didnt really want to vote nathan if i was being honest i wanted brianna out over nathan because i thought nathan would be more easier to work with them boom Dpov and boom nick going i am like a little unsure if i regret using the dpov or not i do regret it well because nathan won hoh and sent me to the upside down and nick probably wouldnt try super hard for hoh but then again it seemed my so called allies were probably more closer to nick but i am not even sure my so called low confidence is my weakness in my games but i dont know how to be more confident pretty sure everyone beats me in the end at this point unless if i win an hoh if i do at this point Jacob/Brianna/even nathan getting nominated i didnt want nathan out before like if i won hoh i would of put him to the upside straight up nominate brianna and jacob if one of them goes off the block joey gets put up as a pawn after the upside down week im gonna do whatever to make it to the end idc if i go to the end with somebody i cant beat i just want to make this game enjoyable for me as i can i dont want to float for awhile then bring a goat to the end NNN 

EMMA

my shit list  in order to who i target to who isnt on my rader

Jacob > Nathan > Brianna > Joshua = Aria > Jev > Kiki/Josh C > Joey

who i like most to who is most annoying to play on a game level (i dont really hate or dislike anyone on a personal level)

Aria > Jev > Joshua *tiny gap*  Nathan > Kiki/Josh C >>>>>>>>>>> Jacob > >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Joey = brianna also joey would be higher but he lied to me for no reason even tho i didnt mind putting alot of trust in me and i love brianna on a personal level but girl i am not good socially with her which is my fault and her fault also jacob kinda assumed stuff about me like not big stuff like meta  but he still told other people except me (people who are out who i love)  Gina/Jakey > Saira=Nick=Monty=Mo *small gap* Nash >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> dog shit > Taylers dinner (dylan and the og homies know it) >>>>>>>>>>>> DEM

but yeah this game has made me happy because everyone is nice except dem but its been hard to play it because if i felt better i think i would of been playing a 100x times better game

JEV

So I'm safe but it comes at the cost of one of my two favourite people in this game. I've arguably grown closest to Josh C throughout this game, but I promised Joshua that if he saved me with veto I'd vote however he wanted and he wants Josh C to leave over Kiki. This week is me and Nash as final noms levels of ugly.

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=szNaW65lCJ0&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=8&t=0s

[promptis-imagines]

Hey so Wednesday is Noct's birthday, right? Im officially requesting some non stop birthday fluff action. Pls and thx

I did it. I don’t know how, but I wrote this all in one day. I think I died a little. But I hope you like it!

In terms of surprise parties, the person in charge of distractions was higher up on the list of important jobs. In Prompto’s opinion, it was the absolute most important, which is why he was currently an anxious mess.

Ignis, being the one to give out orders and handle preparations, had issued the job to him on the ground of “his boyfriend, his responsibility”, and while he was happy to spend the time with him, he was afraid he’d accidentally spill the secret. Still, he was determined to take his role seriously and entertain Noctis until they were ready for him at Hammerhead.

Gladio and Ignis were using the excuse of helping Cid at the garage. When Noctis asked what they were supposed to do, he was waved off, Gladio saying something about taking the Regalia for a spin.

Before they had a chance to leave, Ignis caught Prompto by the arm. “Do try not to wreck into anything this time,” he whispered into his ear.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine!” Prompto assured him, beginning to back away with a thumbs up. “I’m better than I used to be, promise.”

Ignis sighed, not looking like he could be bothered with anything else at the moment. “I’ll call you when it’s time,” he said, disappearing into the garage behind Gladio.

Prompto smiled at Noctis as he hopped into the driver’s seat. “Anywhere you wanna go?” he asked.

“Wanna grab something to eat somewhere?” Noctis suggested.

Crap, they couldn’t eat. Ignis said they’d have food for everyone at the party, and Prompto didn’t want Noctis ruining his appetite. It looked like he was going to have to make his own diversions.

“I don’t think Ignis and Gladio would appreciate us eating without them,” he rushed out. “Let’s do something fun! If we tell everyone it’s your birthday, we might get free stuff.”

Noctis laughed. “Stop trying to make a big deal of my birthday, Prom,” he said, relaxing with his hands behind his head as the car began moving.

“What? Why would I do that,” Prompto argued. “It’s your day and you’re gonna enjoy it.”

“Alright, alright. Don’t start threatening me, here.” Noctis yawned. “So, what are we gonna do, Mister Chauffer?”

Prompto laughed at the nickname. “Why am I picking?”

“Because I can’t think of anything.”

“Hm,” Prompto hummed. “Then how about we just drive? Let’s just go nowhere and be as dramatic as possible.”

Apparently it was good enough for Noctis, seeing as he sank down more into the seat with a yawn. “Fine by me,” he agreed.

It wasn’t hard to see that Noctis was falling asleep within minutes. He figured the group had already tired him out from wishing him a happy birthday and then making him do more tasks than usual, not to mention all the people they met throughout the day wishing him well. Prompto had always found it ironic that Noctis had an aversion to attention.

“Hey, Noct,” Prompto said quietly.

“Yeah?”

Prompto gripped the wheel tighter. “I didn’t get to ask you before, but what do you want for your birthday?”

Silence surrounded them, save for the whirring of the engine. Noctis didn’t open his eyes.

“I don’t really do presents anymore, so I’m not sure,” he finally replied.

“Aw, come on,” Prompto urged. “You gotta think of something you want. Doesn’t even have to be a physical thing.” He glanced at him and smiled, knowing Noctis had his eyes open just enough to see him.

Noctis sighed, following with a small laugh. “Fine, I want you to kiss me,” he decided.

Prompto tsked with a shake of his head. “I do that every day, Noct. Be creative.”

“What, you want me to use my imagination and go further with that?” he teased. “If you want, I can think of some things to-”

“Noctis, I will pull over this car.”

Noctis sat up in an instant. “Not in the Regalia, Ignis would kill us.”

A beat passed, and Prompto burst into laughter. “C'mon, I was kidding,” he said between breaths. “But fine, I can still kiss you.”

The easiness of the drive was a welcoming feeling to Prompto. He knew he’d never show it, but Ignis had been getting stressed over planning Noctis’ party in time. Even with the other two pitching in, he was still concerned with making it perfect. And when Ignis was stressed, everyone was stressed.

“Oh, we can stop and buy you something around here,” Prompto offered.

The beginnings of a pout were showing on Noctis’ face, which was absolutely adorable to Prompto. “Stop trying to buy me things, I already said no.”

“We can stop somewhere so I can kiss you.”

“That place over there seems cool.”

“There we go.”

It was only a small gas station, but Prompto pulled over anyway. After asking Noctis to refuel the Regalia, he hurried inside, slamming his hands on the back counter, earning a shocked look from the cashier. “Do you have anything I can make into a paper hat?”

A few minutes later, Prompto exited the store. His hands were being held carefully behind his back as he approached Noctis stealthily from behind.

Right as Noctis returned the gas pump, Prompto reached over and placed the makeshift party hat on his head.

“What the-”

“You’re not allowed to take that off,” Prompto instructed, “because you need a birthday hat, and I’m the one who made it for you.”

Noctis’ hand left the string under his neck. “So I have to keep this on? And look stupid by myself all day?”

“Not at all.” He produced a second hat, placing it on his own head amongst his mess of hair. “We get to look stupid together!”

Thankfully, Noctis could never refuse Prompto’s charms. “I guess we do,” he said.

They returned to the car and got back on the road. However, Prompto only drove a few minutes before pulling over at a bend in the road.

“Okay, hop out,” he instructed.

Noctis gave him a puzzled look. “But we just-”

“Humor me, man.”

Once they were both standing beside the Regalia, Prompto took out his camera and hooked it around the strap on his neck. “There’s a spot down there I wanna take a picture together at,” he explained, pointing down the hillside. “Can you get my tripod from the back?”

“Sure thing.” Noctis went around the back and popped the trunk. He reached in while Prompto fiddled with the settings on his camera, but came up empty-handed. “Hey, what’s all this stuff in here?”

“Wait, what?”

Prompto stumbled trying to reach the car, suddenly in a panic. There wasn’t supposed to be anything else back there.

“There’s a book and some rolls of paper-”

“Nothing, that’s nothing!” Prompto said, frantically snatching up the tripod and slamming the trunk closed harder than he should have. “Just some, uh, stuff for me.” He tried to cover up the blunder with a smile, but Noctis still raised an eyebrow at him.

While Noctis hopped the roadside railing with the tripod, Prompto breathed a sigh of relief. Shit, he thought, Gladio was supposed to take that out. All he could hope for now was that Noctis was oblivious enough to not see the surprise coming. He couldn’t live with himself if he’d just ruined it.

“Prompto, you coming?”

He snapped out of his daze and followed him. They made their way down the hillside to a flat rock that overlooked a huge expanse of the area.

“Wow,” Noctis admired, “this is really nice.”

The sun was on its way to the horizon, bathing every tree and building in a soft orange light. Sceneries always got to Prompto and made him emotional, especially around his friends. This one gave him hope for the days to come, the feeling that everything would turn out fine with Noctis right there by his side. And he wanted to take a picture of that moment.

“Alright, perfect moment. Start acting like a hopeless romantic and gimme the tripod.”

Noctis produced the stand as if he were gifting a sword with a flourish and a bow, glancing up at Prompto with the faintest smile on his lips. “Like that?”

“Perfect,” Prompto replied, setting it up at a good distance from where they would be standing. He attached his trusty camera to the top of it and looked through the lens to check the settings one more time. After a moment’s thought, he set it to take multiple pictures. “You ready?”

“Yup. And you still owe me that kiss,” he pointed out.

Prompto walked back and gently hooked his arms over Noctis’ shoulders. “You’re right, I forgot back there,” he said. “I’ll make up for it.”

Their lips met right as Prompto heard the camera shutter. He smiled into the kiss; he had a feeling it was a great shot.

When Noctis pulled away, Prompto opened his eyes to see him still smiling. He looked content, and that was all Prompto needed.

“So now can I take off the-”

“Hat stays on, sorry.”

Noctis playfully shoved Prompto’s arm aside. “Why are you making me wear this?” he asked.

“Because it makes you look cute, duh. Now smile for the camera, it’s about to go off again.”

They turned to face the camera, Prompto grinning from ear to ear and Noctis donning a casual yet sincere smile as it flashed once more. There was no doubt in Prompto’s mind that they were adorable.

Prompto rushed to the tripod and turned the camera around, dragging Noctis with him. “Different lighting for the last one on the other side,” he explained.

He felt Noctis’ arm rest on his shoulder. “What pose do we do for this one?”

“You pick,” Prompto replied.

Noctis shifted his arm to Prompto’s other shoulder so that he was half-hugging him. “How long ‘til the picture goes off?”

“About ten seconds.”

“And this is the last one?”

“Should be,” Prompto asked. He was starting to get suspicious of the sly way his boyfriend was speaking.

Next thing he knew, Noctis had knocked both of their crude paper hats off and was leaning in to kiss him right under his ear, exactly where he knew it tickled him.

“Noct, stop-”

But it was too late. Prompto couldn’t contain his laughter as he tried to push his boyfriend away from him, but he repeatedly kissed him against his will. Noctis held him steadfast, only letting go after the picture was taken, but he still had a triumphant light in his eyes.

“You-You’re terrible,” Prompto laughed out, letting his head fall onto Noctis’ shoulder in defeat.

Noctis placed a soft kiss on Prompto’s forehead. “You stick with me, though,” he pointed out.

“Yeah, yeah. Don’t go turning this on me.”

“Wasn’t trying to.”

They sat down beside each other on the rock, enjoying each other’s company. Prompto asked Noctis if he’d enjoyed his birthday several times, asking again “just to make sure” a few more times after that.

“I just wanted to know if I did good, okay?” Prompto asked, reached for his phone in his back pocket. He hadn’t heard it go off yet, but Ignis had to have been ready by then. Right?

Noctis yawned. “You did do good, Prom,” he assured. But Prompto wasn’t listening. His phone wasn’t in his pocket.

“Hah, thanks, man,” Prompto said nervously. “It’s getting pretty dark out, wanna head back?” he asked, not even waiting for his response. He stood up so quickly he nearly fell, taking the camera off of the tripod and hooking it back around his neck.

While he was folding up the tripod, Noctis placed a concerned hand on his shoulder. “Calm down, I think they’ll be fine at Hammerhead for a while,” he said. Prompto appreciated the comfort attempt, but it wasn’t helping his situation.

“Yeah, I-I just wanted to make sure we don’t run into any daemons on the way. Don’t feel like stopping to take care of that.” It was the best he could come up with.

Noctis shrugged. “If it matters to you, we can go.”

Prompto sent a silent thanks to the Astrals. Noctis helped him carry the tripod back to the Regalia, but Prompto instructed him to get in the front while he put it in the trunk. He didn’t want to remind him of the contents in the back. When he spotted his phone amongst the other things, he groaned. Looking at it was worse—twelve missed calls and five texts from Ignis and Gladio. He shot back a quick text to Gladio saying he was sorry and they were on their way and shoved the phone into his pocket.

“Alright,” he announced, hopping into the driver’s seat and hoping his nerves weren’t showing through, “we’re off.”

He sincerely hoped that Ignis wouldn’t kill him when they got there.

“Prompto, you sure you okay?” Noctis asked. “You’re driving like someone you love is dying across the country.”

It wasn’t that catastrophic, but he was worried. What if they were too late, and everyone had gone home already? What if they got tired of waiting and weren’t prepared for the surprise part? It wouldn’t work if they weren’t ready to hop out and shout.

“Prom, pull over so I can drive.”

“Huh?”

Noctis crossed his arms. “Something’s up with you. I don’t mind taking your place.”

“No, no, I’m okay. Sorry, just spacing out.” Technically he wasn’t lying.

He didn’t push it, but he still had a worried crease in his brow. “Fine, but let me know if you need to switch.”

“Aw, so sweet,” Prompto teased.

“No, really. Don’t push yourself too hard,” he said. “I love you, so don’t go getting yourself hurt, okay?”

Prompto felt himself calm down considerably. He melted when Noctis told him he loved him; it didn’t happen all that often, since the other two always made fun of them for it. Namely Gladio. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

When they arrived at Hammerhead, Prompto checked his phone for any new messages. He responded to Ignis, who had asked about their location, telling him they were about to walk up.

Noctis glanced around. He must have noticed that the place was void of people and it’s accompanied noise, because he suddenly looked confused. “Why is the garage closed?” he asked.

“Dunno,” Prompto responded, “let’s go check it out.”

He was trying not to grin, but it was extremely difficult. He was excited to see his reaction.

Prompto peeked through the side door, which had been left slightly ajar. “Let’s go in!” He dashed through the opening, ducking down to take his place behind a crate.

He heard the door creak open, breaking through the silence. “Prom?” Noctis called. “Do you see anything in there?”

The lights flipped on, and everyone jumped up from their hiding spots, a chorus of people yelling “Surprise!”

Noctis jumped back an inch, making Prompto laugh. “Gotcha, didn’t we?”

The place had been spruced up to make room for a table in the middle for a delicious-looking array of foods, and another for Noctis to sit at. Ignis had done a good job of keeping it simple.

A group of people surrounded Noctis in a few short moments, wishing him a happy birthday and trying to either shake his hand or hug him. He’d seemed to regain an understanding of the situation, soon complying and accepting the birthday wishes.

After the crowd dispersed, Ignis appeared before Prompto with his arms crossed and a displeased look etched into his features. He didn’t say anything, only stared a hole into Prompto’s forehead.

“Uh, I got distracted…distracting Noctis.” It was a bad excuse, but it was all he had.

Ignis sighed, losing the look. “At least you both made it back safely.”

“Yup! See, I got that part right,” Prompto reasoned.

Gladio appeared from out of nowhere, hooking an arm around him and laughing. “What, you got another part of it wrong?”

He thought back to earlier, when Noctis saw the book. “Hey, Gladio!” he exclaimed, realizing again why it had happened. “Didn’t I ask you to take out the stuff from the back?” he asked in annoyance.

The bigger man released his grip on Prompto. “Uh…Was I supposed to do that?”

“Yeah, he almost saw it!” Prompto complained.

“Well, where is it, now?” Ignis questioned.

Prompto paused. “Right, I’ll go get it.”

He hurried back to the Regalia, making sure to avoid Noctis on his way out. Opening the trunk, he quickly gathered up the large book and the roll of wrapping paper in his arms and ran back inside, sneaking to the room in the back to finish his work.

Once he had the pictures from earlier, Prompto held them up to admire. The first one had the setting sun behind them so that their silhouettes were outlined in an orange hue. It was one of the prettier pictures he’d taken, if he had to say so himself. The other two were fun and sweet. Prompto thought he looked ridiculous captured in his open-mouthed laughter, but Noctis wouldn’t accept not having that one in it.

He secured them in place and got to work wrapping it. It wasn’t what he’d expect Ignis-level would be, but it was presentable. With a sharpie he found nearby, he wrote his name as neat as he could on the wrapping, adding in a “To Noctis” underneath.

When he got back to the party, Noctis was admiring a cactuar from Talcott. Apparently he had made it himself. Even Navyth showed up. Noctis looked like a little kid when he presented him with a new fishing rod. He received a few more presents as well from their friends, which were neatly placed on the end of the table, courtesy of Ignis.

Next up was his turn. Prompto had wanted to make a speech for him, but decided to keep it short and simple. Standing beside Noctis’ chair, he held the gift behind his back, fiddling with the wrapping nervously as he prepared to speak. He really hoped he liked it.

“So, Noct,” he began. “I’ve always been really grateful to be able to know you and be close to you like we are. And today’s your day, so what better time to show you that?” He handed him the present, biting his lip. “I went through just about every camera I’ve ever had and picked out the really good pictures of all of us.” Noctis’ eyes went wide as he flipped through the numerous pages in the album. “Capturing memories like that is always fun, I think. Oh! And I put in a little section at the end of just us. Kind of a little journey from highschool to now. Happy birthday, Noctis.”

Noctis ended on the picture from earlier, stifling a laugh. “Prom, you didn’t have to outdo yourself like this,” he said. But he still ran his fingers lightly over the pages, a loving glimmer in his eyes.

Prompto beamed. “Gladio and Ignis helped.”

“Now, now, don’t go giving us credit. We gave him our own gifts,” Ignis pointed out.

“Yeah, he’s right,” Prompto agreed. “I did most of it.”

Noctis placed the book on the table and stood up to pull Prompto into a quick kiss. “Thanks. I love it.”

“Really? You do?”

“Okay, you two, cut it out with the mushy crap,” Gladio interjected. “I think it’s time for cake.”

Cindy pat Prompto on the shoulder. “That was a real cute idea, there. Reckon it was a tough thing to put together,” she said in her casual country drawl.

“Oh, thanks. It was actually pretty fun to do,” he assured. “Not too much to handle.”

She smiled. “Well, I’ll holler for ya if I ever need help with a project like that. Take care, you two.”

And she was off, presumably to join the cake line.

Prompto turned back to Noctis. “Last time I ask, I swear.” Noctis rolled his eyes. “Did you have a good birthday?”

He nodded. “I’d say it was a pretty good day. You had a lot to do with it.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Mh-hm. If you did all that for my birthday, just what the hell are you planning for our anniversary?” Noctis asked.

Prompto hummed in thought. “That’s for you to find out later.” He hadn’t actually figured anything out yet, but now he knew he needed to step up his game.

“Fine, but nothing too crazy.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Sure.”

Prompto laughed. He wanted to be in charge of distracting Noctis more often.

[fan-art-ic]

 ((@silverkitsune​ tumblr wont let me reply so i have take a screenshot like some kind of animal))

Alrighty so there is:

Captain Jewels, CC-6859. HIs name comes from that he has a genetic mutation making his eyes blue and a trainer said his eyes looked like jewels. He’s a commander clone, but when his Jedi General’s padawan showed up he had to be officially demoted (I’m not sure if clones can be commanders if there are padawans so). Unofficially, Jewels and the padawan work together as commander, sharing the work equally. Off-duty he is pretty laid-back, kind of a “don’t do any property damage and don’t kill anyone and i dont care” clone. on active duty (not even on the field) he’s strict and will not tolerate any bullshit. on the field it’s that but 1000% more intense. (in general he 110% always needs a drink)

More under the cut

Lieutenant Spice, CT-7890. His batch was an experiment to try to turn pain receptors (congenital insensitivity) off because if you can’t feel pain you’re able to keep going past ordinary limits. Spice was the only clone the experiment worked on (not completely though, if he got really burned or his hand was chopped off then he could feel it), but not without the side effect of amped up dopamine production, which is how he got his name. He was the only one of his batch not culled for defects. Due to extremely close monitoring on Kamino and being the only survivor of the experiment, Spice is terrified of the Kaminoans and has a really deep-seated hatred for people who experiment on living things (whether it be animals or sentients)

Lieutenant Ringer, CT-4965. He got his name from the fact that he loves to wear hoop earrings and rings whenever off-duty. He’s kind of like the therapist of the 604th bc any clone can go talk to him and just have a bitch fest with him for hours and really unload and get good advice. And because clones were never banned from being in commercials (well until Ringer), Ringer did a cosmetic holo-vid because a Space Sephora realized how amazing clones look with eyeliner.

Clone Medic Inquire, CT-4968. He’s batchmates with Ringer and thus super close with him. He got his name because he was always asking questions as a cadet (the tattoo on his left temple is actually a question mark in galactic basic). Just wouldn’t shut-up. It got him in trouble a lot because soldiers aren’t supposed to question orders, but once he switched to the medic track it got his bonus points because if you don’t ask questions the patient might die. Ironic as it is, but while Inquire is super over-protective of his brothers and gets on their cases about staying safe and getting treated right away, he’ll dive headfirst into danger to help and after battle he’ll ignore his own wounds for hours, one time even days, to patch up wounded clones. Ringer, for all the chill that he is, will get super pissed about Inquire’s self-sacrificial ass. 

Sergeant Siege, CT-391. He was on the 1st battle of Geonosis, which is where he got his name. Despite the fact that he’s one of the oldest clones left, he 1) never made it past sergeant because he can’t think in larger terms and 2) is immature most of the time (it’s pretty much a coping mechanism at this point). Because he’s been around so long, if a clone needs battle-related advice, or advice with a more serious tone, they’ll go see Siege. And when on leave, if a clone doesn’t want to go to 79′s or stay in the barracks, Siege is the go-to clone because he knows all the best (and safe) places a brother could go.

Sergeant Jag, CT-5032. No one knows how he got his name because everyone who was with him dead (Jag would be happy to tell his brothers how if he could only remember). He’s actually dating his padawan commander as the Pantoran really doesnt give a shit about the Code and the general turns a blind eye b/c it’s war-time. it’s a huge power imbalance which makes older/higher-ranking clones (not Siege who was actually his wing-man) skeptical and kind of protective of Jag, but they make it work. He really cares about his squad and would probably (definitely) kill anyone that threatens them even if they aren’t a Seppie. Within the officers he’s kind of like the kid brother, but he’s a complete mother-hen with his little brothers squad. 

Glint, CT-7779. In Jag’s squad, Flow Squad. Got his name like Jewels; he has a genetic mutation making his eyes green. He was the first clone to have green eyes, so before clones started really individualising themselves, he was somewhat ostracized and teased by his brothers and trainers (all of this making him really paranoid of people who are genuinely nice to him). (Side note: Glint, for a really long time saw his eyes as something to be ashamed of, while Jewels embraced his blue eyes because it made him stand out from other clones which is good for commanders.) Now that he’s off Kamino and around clones that all change some aspect of themselves, he’s able to try relaxing.

Aspen, CT-6502. In Jag’s squad. Aspen should actually be a sergeant because he’s really good tactically on the field, but isn’t because he passes every time a promotion comes up. He’s really struggling to even handle being a trooper and living, he doesn’t think he’d have the ability to take care of a whole squad (which is why Glint would be acting sgt. if Jag died on the field). The whole left side of his face and some of his side is burned badly due to his first squad’s gunship being shot down and exploding during battle. He struggles with a deathstick addiction and while deep down he does truly care, he’s really apathetic and it’s hard for him to care beyond the required mission.

Riff and Raff, CT-4985 and CT-4986. They are tubemates and got their name from a trainer calling them riff raff. They’re somewhat pranksters and like to break the tension and help their brothers calm down and relax. Riff has a tattoo for Isk (galactic basic ‘i’) while Raff has a tattoo for Aurek (’A’), both have it on the left side of their neck. They kept the standard haircut and even as clones, are practically indistinguishable from each other (Jewels made them paint their armor differently so he’d be able to identify them on the field). They border unhealthily codependent as they work extremely well together but when separated they fall apart and you’ll never see one without the other.  (If you’ve ever read Percy Jackson, they’re like the Stoll twins.)

Swear, CT-498. (I actually forgot to include him on my line-up D:). He’s the second oldest right after Siege, but as a sniper he doesn’t fit leadership role very well. He’s technically under Siege and in the 604th, but is 1) treated like a lieutenant in terms of respect and 2) loaned out frequently to special ops mission as he’s a really fucking great sniper. like. one of the best. He got his name because even as a cadet he was constantly cursing and bitching about shit (it was always relevant and made sense, but on Kamino there was a lot to be pissed off about so). He actually almost took a name related to languages because he was alway he’s always learning new languages for the sheer sake of having the right swear word.

And them the kids. I apologize if you asked and expected a few short sentences lol. And thanks to anyone who is actually reading this b/c that means you read about my clone kids. anyone have question PLS ask me im always willing to talk more!

[kiefercat]

30 Day Trans-Challenge except not really bc my memory is too bad for that so you get it all now Little intro and context for new followers and also for me when I look back at this; I'm a 22 year old trans guy from Canada. I've been out since I was 16 and have been on T for 5 years in October. My top surgery is scheduled for 2019 with Dr McLean in Mississauga, Ontario. 1) When did you realize the term transgender referred to you? In grade 10 one of my best friends started transitioning to male. It was my first exposure to anything trans and everything just fell into place after that. I talked to my partner at the time about it a lot and how my identity suddenly started making sense. After around half a year i started going by male pronouns with my friends and I came out publicly a year later. 2) How did you choose your name, and what names were you thinking about using and why? Contrary to popular belief I didn't choose Cooper because of my high school obsession with Alice Cooper. I ripped it off of a cartoon character that had no discernible gender to me. I was also debating going by Kiefer but after some research found out it connects to Cooper like Bob to Robert and just rolled with it. At some point before transition I asked mom what she would have named me if I was born a boy and she said fucking Wayney (dad's name is Wayne) and yeah no I did not want that name at all 3) Have you ever been outed? Quite often. Surprisingly from the people closest to me. My mom and stepdad out me all the time and my best friend/ex gf used to do it a lot too. She stopped thankfully but my mom keeps insisting on making me a discussion topic 4) How did your family take it when you came out/ if you are not out why aren't you? I came out in stages to my family. Mom was first. I fucked up though and forgot I had a stepbrother and basically walked up to her one day and said “you only have a son” and then ran out of the room? She thought I was running away????? Woops. She was kind of ignorant about some stuff for a while but changed a lot of her views pretty quick. She wasn't initially going to let me medically transition before I was 18 but turned around over time and I started t at 17. Stepdad was awkward but supportive. I didn't come out to my dad. My mom had to for me a year after I'd been out to everyone else. I was terrified of rejection bc yay abandonment issues but it went over well! Right after I came out my dad started dating my step mom and she really helped things bc she wasn't afraid to ask the questions that he was too weird about to do himself. She actually administered my tshots for me for a while. Fast forward to last year and suddenly family I hadn't seen for 9 years wanted to get back in contact with me and mom. I was expecting my grandparents and uncle to be really weird about it but they've always been chill. They used to call me a dyke and tell mom she was a failure bc I wore boy clothes when I was a kid so obviously I was worried. 5) Are you active in the trans community or LGBT community? Not nearly as much as I'd like to be. My local active trans community is 80% 40-60 year old trans ladies. Like I love them to bits and I appreciate them sharing their experiences as older queer people but I feel very out of place there. I've been invited to a gay dude cafe meet a few times but am too nervous to go. That being said, my entire friend circle is trans sans a few sprinkled cis people. So I guess we're all just an informal support group lmao 6) Who was the first person you told about being trans? My first partner. She was super queer (was identifying as a bi male at the time we dated) and very understanding and supported me through a lot of the mental gymnastics of realizing I was a dude. 7) Who do you look up to? My friends, honestly. Like I don't know what else to say here lmao 8) How do you deal with being misgendered in the beginning of transitioning by people? Told them politely to only use he/him with me. If they were malicious about it I would try to explain how ignorant that was and if they still didn't get the hint I'd ignore them. 9) What is something positive about being trans? I don't have to hide awkward boners. 10) What are some of your fears in regards to being trans? I'm super afraid of top surgery ending in a result im unhappy with. Like I don't care about the pectoral scarring at all, but I'm worried about proportional problems or dog earring. Basically anything that would require a revision. I'm also super insecure about not having a bio dick. It limits me a lot sexually even with strap ons. No harnesses stay where they need to on me to get anything good happening and my dick always slowly drifts downward. Its frustrating. 11) How do you manage dysphoria? Hahahaahhaa ice cream And usually taking nudes. 12) What are you doing to stay healthy for transitioning mentally and physically? I'm working out every day now. Nothing too intense, but it feels nice. I want to drop about 30-40 pounds before top surgery so am slowly amping up the workouts. Mentally I'm a disaster and am frantically looking for a psychiatrist but can't find any open that have experience with a trans patient. 13) Bathrooms I haven't used a women's bathroom since before I was in testosterone. I'm not anxious about them at all unless there's a lot of drunk dudes or the locks on the stalls don't work. 14) What are some of your passing tips or things you do to pass? Confidence. Fake it till you make it. Being a walking masc alt stereotype got me through high school. 15) How have you embraced your trans identity? Tbh coming out and living life as trans is one of the few times I've been able to do one very important thing consistently: do something for myself no matter what people think. Its something that I've been trying to spread into other aspects of my life. If anything, my trans identity embraced me. 16) What's your rock anthem and why? I think this is the only answer that hasn't changed since last time I did this. I Am, I'm Me from Twisted Sister. 17) What's your binding choice and why? I use a GC2B binder. They're comfy, last long, don't roll, don't have prominent seams, and don't smell funky like my old underworks ones. If I swim publicly or want to slim out my hips for special occasions I wear a full length underworks swim binder. Fun fact: I didn't bind for a year and half bc I gained a fuckwad of weight and my tits passed as moobs. 18) How do you feel about the trans laws where you live? They're getting better. I live in Ontario, Canada so am pretty protected all around. I wish the technical side of transition (name, gender marker) was more streamlined. 19) If you're religious how do your views effect being trans? if you're not religious what about your family religions? I'm in no way religious. My mom had to jump through a bunch of hoops in her head to legitimize my transition through her religion/spirituality. Its a little disturbing to me for details I will not share publicly. 20) Do you want to be a parent? why or why not? I hate children. Keep them away from me. 21) Your views on the cis-gendered community? ??¿¿ they exist. I believe education about trans people and other queer identities should be taught in schools to help cis society not be as blissfully ignorant. I don't believe all cis people hate trans people, but they do have a lot of misconceptions about the community. 22) Do you feel being trans holds you back from your career choice? Fuck no. Honestly I haven't felt nervous about transition affecting my work since my first job. I was just coming out when I worked the museum and was scared they might kick me from the position. Nowadays, I do not disclose my trans status to potential employers until they're hiring me. I thankfully live in a place and time where I'm protected as a trans person in the workplace by the law so haven't felt held back at all. 23) What stereotypes are put on trans people? Undercuts Tbh The stereotypes that stick out to me are the fucking weight ones. Where the fuck are my chunky trans men and ladies at? As a trans guy I am pressured a lot by the representation in the community to aspire to be a buff/cut beefcake or stick thin. Hell, a few of my already very small trans girl friends think they're not as valid bc their bust/waist/hip ratio doesn't make them look like a model. There's literally nothing wrong with being any weight but I find the pressure to be small is even higher within the trans and queer community to fit the stereotype/preconception that we have to be conventionally beautiful to be valid in our identity. 24) Who is your favorite LGBT actor/musician/director/artist etc and why? Uhhhhhhh Tbh I don't even know 25) Doctor visits? I hate them. They make everything about my trans status even if I'm there for something completely unrelated. There is FREE training on trans care for doctors in our part of the province but none seem to opt for it and instead decide its appropriate to ask me transition questions when I'm there for something as unrelated as an impacted nail. 26) Do you feel comfortable answering questions about being trans if say your teacher/friend/stranger asked you? If I'm not paying for their time, if I'm not busy doing something else, and if they are polite, yes. I don't mind answering questions at all! But there's a time and a place and some people just don't understand that. 27) What goals do you have? Lose weight and tone up a bit in time for top surgery. Be aggressively body positive. Continually try to normalize trans bodies. Find a local community to be a part of. 28) What is something you have to do everyday or else you feel like your whole day is off if you don't do it? Shower. If I go out or if people outside of friend circle are near me I have to have my packer and binder. If I'm alone I need music or something on at all times. 29) Write out something positive about yourself using the letters of your name. Ex. Your name is Bob so B-Beautiful O-Outstanding B-Boy Um. I don't have a good name for this uhhh C-Creative O-Open hearted O-Okay P-Phenomenon E-Eager R-Rad I had to Google positive words to do that lmao 30) Write a haiku about being trans I hate writing these Please just cut off my titties Throw them in the fire

[thegeminisage]

today’s zeldablogging which is full of spoilers:

the sight of my new sword sends a thrill into my heart tbh

if i ever replay this game, which tbh idk if i will, it's so Big, SS was only a third or a quarter of this size and i've only beaten it twice, im going to get it as soon as possible next time

anyway im back at the tower i suppose i'll crawl down and check out the enemies properly

i dont like gliding to towers i've discovered bc it feels like i've been plopped down into the middle of nowhere with no context

vs if i walk to them i know "where" i came from/am, if that makes any sense

(it doesn't)

i can see that flying thing closer than ever from here and it's DEFINITELY a divine beast no doubts left

yk tho. i dont WANNA check out the enemies. i wanna find that weird blanked out place at the top of my map!

haha i can feel it already

i'm so anxious to get to the end of the game and uncover the plot im gonna be like "FUCK EXPLORING" for the rest of it and only go to the places i need, now that i've got this map

i can always do more thorough exploration after, i've been spoiled that there's postgame content, but even if there's not like any other zelda game it'd put me right back before the final battle

god im having to go ALL THE WAY AROUND the lost woods i can't even glide over the nearby river to make the path shorter i bet there's an easier way to do this from the other side but i havent been there yet

ah, another forest covered in fog. black fog. how inviting.

ohhh, it's a shrine trial. wonderful. in the pitch blackness!

this is already worse than eventide

luckily i have the weird glowy skeleton suit i bought from the boy gerudo clothes store

i forgot to mention it bc i had no IDEA what it was for, but here we are

like. this has to be lmao

i keep dying in my first six steps what am i doing wrong??

oh, maybe bc i'm gliding in, i see a bridge on the map

ohhh god i hear a hinox...why, lord

haha im like.following the ways the statues point and. they're pointing at the hinox! wow!

lol when i realized the stone birds had torches on top i started over so i could light them all

OHHH I WOKE UP THE HINOX I DIDN'T EVEN GET A SURPRISE ATTACK IN

MASTER SWORD HELP ME

oh god this glowy armor has no defense!!

i'll just leave the helm on, then

oh thank fuck i used an atk+ elixir and it waasnt so bad

see, like, i COULD explore that upper ridge but thanks to the map i already know it's full of silver lynels. no thanks.

oh my god the yiga clan is RELENTLESS right here i guess bc i'm going around the back of (shudder) hyrule castle

oh!! a stable, thank goodness, i was starting to get wigged out

i guess all those people on the road had to have meant something

this isn't even on the map!!

oh wait lol yes it is

aww, i don't see beedle here...i was sure he'd be at everyone, i don't think i've encountered one where he isn't yet...

i'll be honest, i've grown kind of bored of combat

and know i'm biased but i genuinely i don't think it's me, i think it's the game's difficulty/"difficulty"

i used to see monster camps and think STRATEGY, is there a beehive, barrels to blow up, a place i can glide down from, this is so fun!

which gradually morphed into "okay this is gonna be a bit of a long haul but there'll be Treasure and sniping from afar is still fun"

idk if the black bokoblins/moblins/etc show up after you've done more things or bc of the area you're in but i'm noticing more enemies with more health, higher defense, and higher attack, and the barrels/metal boxes/beehives/etc becoming rarer, and when they do appear, being almost pointless to use because you're more likely to blow yourself up than do any real damage to the mobs

and like i love this game. it absolutely deserves every bit of its raid reviews, and this feeling COULD just be because i've been marathoning it for 12 straight days and i'm anxious to see the end and get back to my life

but to me, attacking a flat area full of black moblins and bokoblins isn't fun even with the stealth/snipe element bc you can't take them out in 1-3 shots, you have to stop and slash at them, and that alerts EVERYONE else, and it's just pointless

(lol i found some flat ruins by the stable which triggered this rant)

like, even the yiga clan hideout - my instinct was to snipe the enemies as i went, which would have made it a bit more fun imo, even though the stealth bit wasn't bad and i enjoyed that section quite a lot

i just don't like the—idk a better term for it unfortunately—"fake difficulty" thing where you just have to slog your way thru 1000s of random battles, i don't like it in rpgs either

kind of like almost wherever i explored at first i would run into minibosses rarely and then almost constantly

which, yeah, most of them aren't as hard now, But Still, it's the point of the thing

maybe i'm a bit defensive about "real gamer" bullshit and "women can't game" stereotypes while being super bad at games my whole life while my brother was fantastic at them

but like i just don't find that fun?? sure a good challenge once in awhile like eventide isle would be fine (even tho that was hellish and i'll never do it again) but that should be. every once in awhile, not. EVERYWHERE

anyway

frankly @ this point i'm REALY tempted to speed thru it before my surgery

bc i would hate to be laid up in bed and still have to worry about mobile browsing bc botw spoilers and tumblr's interface being awful

anyway i can;'t travel further in this direction without getting over near rito/hyrule field territory

and not only are those towers further away than i'd like but i wanted to do gerudo highlands first so back to the desert i go i guess rip

oh my god the wastelands tower goes down into NOTHINGNESS you're SUPPOSED to apporach from above

also i heard kass!! kass, buddy, where are you ;_;

oh i LOVE these cliffside structures i've been looking forward to them for so long

but i can't find kass ;_;

ALL tower shenanigans must CEASE until he is located!!

wait, he's...i see him! he's at the top of the tower! oh my god!

I'M COMIN, KASS

awww he wants to play the song for the hero who fell 100 years ago! he doesn't know it's me! ;__;

oh gross level two cold here and i didn't bring much cold food...just my warm doublet

wait

i have food AND the jacket and im STILL cold? this is level THREE? wtf wtf wtf

good thing i also have the ruby circlet but jeeeesus

i still have no food so i can't stay long

oh shit i found some guardians

still ones thank god

dude i found a HUGE cool mural for one shrine!!

yeah, this game is definitely still as full of fun secrets and as deslightful as when i first began playing it

and it came at a good time bc i just lost angela and it helped me feel Real Joy again

most displeasure i find with it now is because "AAAH ZELDA AT SOME POINT I NEED TO GET BACK TO MY FUCKING LIFE"

i'm so worried about spoilers and being behind now that some of the fun is draining away

i think after a bit of time has passed i'll either go back and finish exploring properly or straight up start a new file

and do it Thoroughly

when i can relax and go at my own pace instead of feeling like i'm racing the internet, my dashboard, my friends, my brother, etc

this region is soooo cold and i am so certain i'll get better cold gear in the rito area that im just activating the shrines and not even going inside to use my little food as efficiently as possible

im lit not even going inside

oh it's dropped to level 2 cold...thank god

THERE i got them all now to rush to ritoland

wait...i thought i read the 10k fairy wrong but i see ANOTHER on the map!

i bet SHE wants 10k and i have four thousand fucking rupees UGH

i thought there were only 4 and the horse fairy counted.......

ohh my god the divine beast is much closer from where i'm gliding...it's so big

I SEE DINAAL BUT I'M ON A FUCKING GLIDER SLKDFJGH

oh i've been typing it wrong all this time. dinRaal.

ohhh this region is so pretty so far...unlike the highlands which is miserable, i HATE snow in this game, i actually do wanna explore around here, i wish i didn't feel so hurried

oh god that divine beast is just So. it is So Big

god i passed the fairy on my way to the tower...10k! and i haven't been watching my cash bc i thought i misread something

all this time i've had 12 and 13 thousand rupees and i was blowing them on dumb shit

SILVER bokoblins...? come ON

good loot, tho

got the tower!

ohhh man. tat divine beast. oh boy. oh dude. big. so big. jesus fuck

oh hey i see rito village!! just where i wanted to go first

they better have good cold gear here :|

OH FUCK THERE'S THE BEAST SCREECHING

oh my god it's SO BIG im SO SCARED jesus FUCK

i wonder if kass will be here

IT'S RITO ISLAND MUSIC

IM GOING TO CRY

IT REALLY IS!!!! IT REALLY IS RITO ISLAND MUSIC

oh god it's BEAUTIFUL

aw omg the goddess statue here has a flower crown!

all right, fifteen heart containers...the rest will be stamina 5ever

no wait fuck i should have gotten stamina this time!! i'll get a heart from the beast

well i know you can trade them, somewhere out here i think

this beautiful too tbh this is all nice and orchestrated Damn

geez the armor will set me back even more money! not TOO much but when you're saving up for 10k...

well, against my brother's advice, i'm selling monster parts...i know i'll regret it later if i need them to upgrade armor, but i'm trying to stick to the common ones i have like 100+ of, so

aaand 10! woohoo

awww all the little baby rito in the hammocks :')

OMG the biggest rito looks like an owl! kaepora reference

oooh here comes a memory

AHAHAHA

revali and link were rivals. ok. im down with that for sure

and his specisal ability! an updraft!! PERFECT tbh

aww teba's husband doesn't want her son to be a warrior

tho i like the idea that ritos are hotheads hahahaha

zoras and gorons are both kinda collected we needed some assholes

HA i look forward to when revali gives me his special ability

i'm crying teba is such an asshole i LOVE him

wow i guess it's time to fight the beast already...? that was so FAST

omg i get to ride him!!!! yessss

oh my gosh we're up so HIGH oh man oh man the world is so tiny but i know it's really so huge oh god the divine beast is so BIG

lol i probs should have upgraded this rito armor.......

oh well too late now lmao

ohhh i love it when they talk to me

TEBA?

HE'S HURT OMG ):

nintendo would never kill him but omg im so worried about him

AAAAAH THERE'S REVALI

ohhh he's a DICK i LOVE HIM

ooh the master sword DOES glow when it's near the malice blight stuff

lowkey tempted to go back and upgrade this armor lol but i don't wanna leave and who even knows if i have the mats...

i'll just brave it thru like this and it'll be something to brag about later since apparently i suck at everything else

like doing eventide with five hearts on the blood moon

LMAO REVALI IS SO SMUG "you'll need to activate all the terminals, think you're up to it?" he's a DICK and i LOVE HIM i LOVE THE RITO

the music in this one is SO COOL?

i feel more like i'm fighting for my life/against something larger here, rather than just trying to creep through gently without disturbing anything and solve a puzzle for the others

and it's 100% bc of the music jesus christ

i LOVE how much gliding is involved this is EASILY my favorite divine beast so far

lol revali's tone of surprise in "there are two terminals remaining" i love him so much

"just one terminal remaining hmph what do you know" pls

all five down now the true test is can i beat the boss LMAO

the last 3 weren't nearly as bad as i expected, tho the lightning one's teleporting thing was almost too fast for me with my one-handed weapons

so maybe hopefully with good food this will be OK too

ok, i got level 2 cold food so i can get by with just wearing the pants :U not as much defense as i'd like but better than nothin

"it only defeated me bc i was winging this"

"can't believe i'm saying this but avenge me link!!"

ohhh there's accordian in this version of the fight song 

KASS ;_;

i wonder if kass's teacher WAS revali, or knew him

LMAO revali trash talks me when i get hit

KEEP YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME i didnt even watch that movie and im laughing at the meme

lmao "broke" the master sword with the last bow

eeeewww

DAAAAAMN

wouldn't even look at link as he left "your job is far from finished you know zelda has been waiting an awfully long time"

haha "i'll be plucked" as well thanks nintendo

"we've been ARTFULLY patient these last 100 years you won't suffer a feather over a few more moments"

geez i love him so much

that was definitely the best divine beast

tho the zora one is a close second

i gotta go make sure teba is ok

IM CRYING ZELDA JUST TOLD ME TO GO TO HYRULE CASTLE

soon i promise ok

time to go see the great fairy :U man i really thought my armor had been improved all it could be...

and 10k down the drain...

omg she's pink :3

im ALSO warping back to akkala to see if i can get any guardian armor yet i've collected a fair amt of parts!

LMAO I FINALLY HAVE THE MATS AND I DON'T HAVE THE CASH rip

ohhhh i see a new storm over hyrule field...DNW

lol maybe i SHOULD have explored it before now...too late now

holy shit i almost ran straight into a flying guardian going after this soul piece

ok, i need a plan...if i wanna beat the game before friday i gotta be Smart

i still need to finish exploring all the provinces, at least at the sursory level i gave to the highlands, but hopefully maybe a little better

i need to go back and do shrines and sidequests

and obviously i need to actually finish

counting today i have three days left so i guress i'll assign one task to each day, the last task obviously being on thursday

less than two hours left for playtime today, but i guess today i should explore, tomorrow i should shrine/sidequest, and i can do a LITTLE of that thursday if needed, and thursday i'll storm hyrule castle. ok

slkfjgh

SDLFGJHDLFKJG god. ok

aaaah the ruins music makes me so sad ):

pffft cute i got a memory where zelda was like STOP FOLLOWING ME I DONT NEED A BODYGUARD at link how adorable

i wanted to get all the memories before i beat the game but they're like ALL in/around hyrule field/castle and i'm afraid if i go there now that i've gotten all the beasts freed i'll trigger endgame events that i can't stop

so i guess i fucked myself over

i think i'll go ahead and get all the towers tho

so i can move around freely

i have time for like one MAYBE two before stream starts

aw this tower in the cold place is so cute and short

looked it up & apparently the heart/stamina swap is in hateno so im gonna go find it!

oh i came at night but that monster store guy is here!!

omg DUDE he sells DARK LINK gear?!?!

and apparently your movement speed goes up at night

the mask and bridles are pretty cool but i HAVE to have this

lmao and i just sold all my parts for that 10k...!

man he doesn't give you a lot tho...like, it has its own currency...i could never sell enough to get even one :/

ok, i can buy the tunic or the legs...but not the face. hmm

i guess the legs alone would look pretty dumb, but i have black pants and a hood that can kinda go with the tunic, so

this is kinda outta nowhere but i wish there was a recipe book for everything we've unlocked or read about, i just can't keep it all in my head

LOL omg that was freaky

okay but now i gotta quit

i didn't get all that i wanted to done, but maybe more later tonight but def tomorrow!!

playing a bit more bc bad choices

oh hmm it looks like i was mistaken and that storm isn't over the castle afterall! thank goodness

oh my god there's SO many shrines in the hebra peak range?? why???

LMFAO im thawing blocks of ice to get to this shrine and one has a moblin in it

me: stops thawing

OH MY GOD

THIS RANGE HAS AURORAS

IM GONNA CRY JFC

and i missed snapping a picture because of enemies!!! im so mad

too bad SO sad i am going back to those fires that started and waiting for night again i WILL get a picture

ugh and now it's snowing

i guess i could unlock this nearby shrine in the meantime

ooh, is that a cabin

;___; old man

end of the game and i still miss you

O: shield surfing

oh man i didnt actually wanna DO it now but

i actually dont know how to do the thing lol

lord, i had to google it. no one said a thing about pressing A

that was fun!! also i was worried i'd get lost so maybe i'll just. not do this for now

THERE! YES! AURORAS!

ooh god there's a silver lynel down there

i know i've been bitching over and over about fights but i lowkey wanna fight it to see if i can

i won't though bc my cold armor isn't very upgraded and my defense would be shot probably even with def+ food

as an aside im glad rivali's ability recharges so quickly i was afraid they'dmake me wait ages like the others

ohhh my god there's SO MANY silver lynel around here WHY

they have such a long detection range and such a scary roar )))):

thank god for rivali's gale i can fly right over him...otherwise i'd have to Run

there's another maze shrine here and im highkey like Ugh

idk if i'll quit when i get to the entrance or after i solve the maze...

i guess i'll give it a quick try and if it's horrible i'll stop until later

naturally i'm wondering if i can solve it on my map first and/or get to the top

if i could before with as little stamina as i had then: sure i'd be able to

probably there are guardians and the answer isnt THAT easy but

the entire maze seems to be one path which is absolutely useless to me like it doesn't look like a maze you solve on paper so i obviously have to find a door or go above or below all that somehow

uh

there are no guardians up here at ALL

in fact i think i even see a hole down to the shrine...

ok, what's the catch, what gives

ah no the hole only goes down a couple of feet and has a chest with a diamond in it

the devs saying "nice try but no" lol

i did find the entrance pretty quick from the top tho! and now i can warp back anytime

or no wait this WAS the challenge i can just go get my orb and ches

DUDE THE ATK+ LEGS......DUDE

ok i gotta figure out the shrine the chest is in and get it i NEED it this armor plus a def+ elixir? i'd be unstoppable, no more dodging fights for me!

well, less dodging fights

ok, so i looked it up and the chest is in a gerudo maze which i didn't even know existed bc i either missed it on the interactive map or it wasn't ther

but it looks Difficult so im gonna save it for tmrw

[rhinointherain]

26-8-2020

the high hasn’t really hit me yet (its been a few minutes so yeah kind of weird, longer than usual probably, but also not that weird for me bc both i and a***** have noticed that it takes a lot longer for weed to affect me than it does for the average person, i think it is starting to kick in anyway), but i wanted to say first of all that earlier today even though i hadnt smoked at all i noticed myself having some thoughts on the similar type of abstract ideas that i get while high and thinking I should journal them, i didnt because i’m starting to come down firmer on the decision that i will only make any of these types of entries after having smoked at least once that “day” (as in since waking up in the morning, not like a 24 hour period), considering i did smoke twice yesterday and not being a very little physically active person it might have to do with thc still being in my body, but it also might be that doing these journal entries has made me more eager and better equipped to engage with those abstract ideas which i think is cool (although it is important to ask the question of whether it actually has made any tangible difference in how and why i interact with those ideas or whether i just want there to be one), but it also might be that i was reading that terence mckenna book

((actually it was all three of these reasons and also the infinite reaches of every other infinite reason that put me in this specific “multiverse”/version of existence, those three were just the main ones i at first subconsciously perceived to be important enough to type and then after typing them consciously evaluated to be important enough that i would not delete them and instead elaborate on them further. but i feel like I’ve discussed this enough by now that this is readily apparent)

what were those abstract thoughts i wanted to write down is another question because when i decided not to write them down i thought ok well then ill be sure to remember what they were and pick up my phone and write all this immediately after i smoke but the problem is that it takes a little while to type it all up and i forgot them before i had finished writing all that introduction

i should explain better the path that my thoughts have been taking from my mind to their final written form so far in these journal entries but first i want to talk about something else

which is that

(include something explaining why you feel the need to inject these sad excuses of teenage tumblr poetry in between the actual interesting shit you usually like to focus on in these entries)

okay do i still want to write about what i was about to say? also maybe it would be more productive to wait until sober to explain the processes in which these entries are formatted

yeah i do bc one of the reasons i do these lame ones is that they can act for me as a healthy emotional release okay so anyway i wanna be, and this is coming straight from the pathos slash animalistic sensory-propelled part of my brain not anywhere near the rational thought-propelled one, i right now wanna be like a a girl in a movie or story about some like lame emo dude who smokes cigarettes and the movie is just a bunch of slow panning over like a rainy city and theres shoegaze in the background (im thinking about like lost in translation or something BUT EXCEPT the dude isnt bill murray the dudes like a young guy who only someone like me would find attractive (but there are a lot of people like me) who like reads proust or some shit i dont know) and MANIC PIXIE DREAM GIRL fuck that’s what i’m trying to say i didn’t actually need to type all this shit i just forgot that that term existed for a sec well anyway yeah thats what i want to be, seeing as this concept and the importance of attaining it as a woman has been drilled into my head by media which my brain had been heavily impressed with during its most impressionable ages (that being my adolescence), where and how did that impression happen ie was it absorbed into the deep subconscious reaches and now resides with the animal/sensory part of my brain who has classed the desire to fulfill this idealized image as a sensory/survival need, or does it come in from the opposite side and instead its like a desire that comes from higher conscious and or subconscious cognitive understanding formed from the human brains complex analysis of every input it gets through the web of social norms and evaluations and memories and everything that makes up what the brain understands everything to be. how are the two even different. they arent because nothing is different everything is just one infinity inside of itself and i write this same thought down a lot because of its essentiality but i havent been conveying it in a well thought out enough way for sober me to fully grasp its importance. eventually i should dedicate more effort to this particular idea but thats a big undertaking and i have been too lazy to attempt it so far

fuck like i just want the guy to be like standing by himself at the weird french new wave club or something thinking about how disconnected he is from society or whatever the fuck and then he sees me whos like 100 lbs and i have an unconventional haircut and either im like dancing uninhibitedly (representing the innocent and childlike perspective our jaded protagonist needs to offset his disillusionment with society) or im also standing all alone smoking a cig and maybe even reading like [first 20th century philosopher that comes up under suggested results when you type proust’s name into google] ha ha ha im so funny do you see what im doing here im deconstructing the stereotypical indie movie that people on the internet make fun of because genuinely liking it had become too mainstream im sure no one has ever thought of this before as a comedic bit anyway i had this whole other thing about it too like she goes in his car with him and they smoke and exchange like 4 sentences but u can still tell shes the perfect for him bc shes sexy and has pink hair or something i dont know anyway i was just thinking about how i wanna be that.

like wouldnt it be nice to not actually have any thoughts in your head your whole job is to be pretty but not know that youre pretty because apparently you dont fit the societal convention of beauty except you pretty much do in every way except that you like have green eyes instead of blue and you dont wear high heels or something and thats all you have to do you only exist to fulfill some dudes fantasy and if you fulfill that fantasy you’ve reached the ultimate purpose in life and don’t have to worry about accomplishing anything else or pleasing anyone else, maybe thats why some people become super religious because isn’t it pretty much the same exact concept like your ultimate goal is to become jesus’s manic pixie dream girl, or buddha’s maybe i don’t know i am embarrassingly uninformed about eastern religions

i’m already not really very high anymore that’s disappointing bc i finally actually took a bong rip by myself in what felt like the correct way to do it eg it didnt make me cough but i guess it wasn’t the correct way after all i guess me not coughing just meant i didnt get enough in my lungs godsh damn it

[walduissymavelleyq94insuran-blog]

Will my insurance cover a not at fault uninsured driver? (I’m at fault)?

Will my insurance cover a not at fault uninsured driver? (I m at fault)?

I was in an at fault car accident. Totaling both cars. Both of us have the same insurance. No Injuries. Collision covered my car. Turns out he was uninsured (probably forgot to pay insurance and expired) and his insurance policy wont cover his claim for his car. I also have Property Damage Liability and Uninsured motorists coverage. My question is will my insurance willingly cover his car? I know for sure my premium will go up, but will it go up even higher if my policy pays his claim?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :cheap-insure.info

SOURCES:

I was in an at fault car accident. Totaling both cars. Both of us have the same insurance. No Injuries. Collision covered my car. Turns out he was uninsured (probably forgot to pay insurance and expired) and his insurance policy wont cover his claim for his car. I also have Property Damage Liability and Uninsured motorists coverage. My question is will my insurance willingly cover his car? I know for sure my premium will go up, but will it go up even higher if my policy pays his claim?

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I was in an at fault car accident. Totaling both cars. Both of us have the same insurance. No Injuries. Collision covered my car. Turns out he was uninsured (probably forgot to pay insurance and expired) and his insurance policy wont cover his claim for his car. I also have Property Damage Liability and Uninsured motorists coverage. My question is will my insurance willingly cover his car? I know for sure my premium will go up, but will it go up even higher if my policy pays his claim?