#because if it was about the general ~aesthetic~ of being masc [which. you might have noticed i don't think Butch is exclusively about that]

[meirimerens]

please disregard this if it’s too personal but i was wondering how you knew being butch was right for you?

signed, a 21 yr old going through a life crisis x

i don't think being (a) butch is something that one registers as being "right for you" in the same way you'd find a painkiller that works, in the same way you'd get "ask your doctor if [...] is right for you" ads on american television. every butch will have a different story as to how they got to coming into their own, to self-actualizing and finding solace/comfort/recognition in the word butch. every butch will put something else to the name, but we all have similarities, and it's in these similarities that i "self-recognized through the other(s)" in many ways.

i, personally, have a history of being really uncomfortable in typically feminine clothing. (this is not a butch thing. feminine clothing is manufactured to be uncomfortable. however, for me, it is part of a pattern.) i, personally, remember competing with boys at a young age, consciously to prove myself as, if not more worthy than; subconsciously for girls' attentions. i, personally, have a history of trying to be feminine in order to compensate a feeling of deep wrongness and feeling, consistently, genuinely monstrous doing so, which only stopped when i dropped that shit completely. i found i related to other butches' ~gender troubles~. i found i related to other butches' relationship to their own selves, bodies, and ways to navigate relationships. many butches are not particularly into femme girls, but butch/femme is an important part of butch history, and this part deeply resonated with me. butches' writings about their butch lovers, butch friends, and butch selves resonated with me. femmes' writings about their butch lovers and butch friends resonated with me. many butches do not have a particularly deep or long history or present of dysphoria, or of feeling of straddling the line of womanhood and (trans)masculinity, but equally as many do, and this resonated with me. butchness put a word on that feeling of cusp, of brink or boundary, which made sense to me, but might not make sense to others.

mostly i stopped staring in my own face trying to decipher its meaning and stared into others' instead and found my own here, and these others were butches. it's a word that makes sense to me. we do not have it in my mother tongue, we have other things, but lesbians Like That have existed across times and cultures, and when i use english, write english, speak english, in the way i'm going with you now, i'll use that word, because it exists, and it fits me in this tongue.

my last piece of advice is like. there are plenty of other things to be than butch. there are also plenty of things to be that are real close to butch but are not it. the butch-femme scale is not a thing. the vast majority of lesbians are neither butch nor femme.

in my personal experience, the more you obsess about your identity and the more you try to look into all the folds & wrinkles of your navel in order to find your reflection, the less authentically you live, and the less likely you are to find an answer. i know it's easy to say "just don't have an identify crisis ^.^ just vibe!" but like. you Are gonna have to vibe. you're gonna have to let the waves batter you for a bit and carry you upon rocks and shores. the more you struggle against the sea the less it'll relent, and it's stronger than you. go out in the world and see how it embraces you and how you feel like embracing it back. the answers will come in due time.

[that-ghosts-art]

“Come on buddy, don’t ya wanna make a lil deal with lil ol’ me?”

I’ve been on a bit of an equivalence high recently as anyone following me may have guessed haha ^-^

For anyone who’s interested I’ve written some of my thoughts on demon!Mabel below the cut :3

First things first let's talk about her style and general appearance, cause I feel like I’ve deviated a fair bit from the previously established fancy suit she’d been portrayed as having like Dipper.

My logic for the change (outside of wanting to try drawing something that isn’t a suit haha) is that I feel she would have more varietyin the outfits she wears compared to Dipper. Looking at the show Dipper was out there wearing the exact same outfit for an entire summer while Mabel (admittedly wearing the same type of clothes) had significantly more variety, wearing a different sweater every episode, some episodes even having more than one, and I feel this would continue to reflect here.

Dipper has his suit and doesn't venture much further then that if he can help it (obviously not to say he doesn't but you know what I mean). Mabel mean while would have a new outfit every day, multiple per day sometimes!

Most of the time I think she would default to a more punk, diy aesthetic because of the inherent creativity of it (which for a typically detail averse artist such as myself was certainly a decision haha), not to mention I can imagine Mabel being like “I’m a literal demon Dipper I gotta go for the outfits with the spikes and chains!”

At the same time she would definitely enjoy trying out a whole host of different styles (to a point though. Some just aren't comfortable, not any more at least, a part of her stolen away with the Transcendence).

I'd need to do some research into clothing styles to say specifically what else she would enjoy, but I can say it's a lot of black with small splashes and highlights of colour. She's also, regardless of style wear lots and lots of jewellery and piercings cause I think she’d like them :3

Switching things up a bit I wanna quickly go over her pins (ie, her queer identities). My hc for demon!Mabel is the same for normal Mabel, being bisexual with a masc preference, and a demigirl (she/her/they/them exploring and trying out various neo pronouns as she encounters them, rotating through them depending on her mood).

Slightly serious tangent, but I know the previously established lore for EAU was that she would be aroace, but in all honesty that never quite sat right with me. Like the only reason she, or subsequently Dipper in the main TAU canon, are aspec is because of the demon-ness, and while I love demons and the demonic as much as the next aroace person, and I adore representation of my identity, the implications aren’t my favourite in the world. Obviously no disrespect to the people behind that decision, (in fact I applaud them on exploring how a character like Mabel might react to people assuming she wants that in this lil fic here :3). Only the maddest of respect to the people who make characters the identities they want them to be :) I just wanted to address it for anyone who like me has read every bit of eau content they can get their grubby lil hands on and noticed that particular difference :p

Besides, this way we get to explore the logistical and moral implications of a character being allosexual while also being an incredibly powerful and immortal being, especially when you get into questions of how she ages herself compared regular humans :3c (I think I'll leave that for another post though haha)

On a different note, another design idea I had was that it'd be really cool if she had a dynamic and moving tattoo that would constantly change and show new (typically pig and star related) designs :) this definitely wasn't inspired by my own inability to come up with and stick to a particular singer design, definitely not.

I also thought it would be neat to differentiate the demonic aspects of her and Alcor's design by giving her feathered wings, rather than the typical bat wings. I mostly just thought it could be nice to try drawing something different, and while Dipper and Mabel are very close and have a fair amount in common they are still very different characters, so it would make sense for their demonic features to differ, even is only slightly. On that note I also gave her a pink outline to her pupils as inspired by this art cause I thought it was neat :3

Anyway I accidentally posted this before I was finished so Imma just take that as a sign to stop and put my other thoughts in a different post haha 😅

[minhosbitterriver]

Hi Green!

This is 🩷, I know I already requested but I had another idea that I really wanted to share! If you don’t want to write it, that’s totally fine, just ignore this :)

It can be with either Gaon from Xdinary Heroes or Jongseob from P1Harmony — I couldn’t decide to save my life, I’m sorry! But anyway, here’s the idea:

He and the reader grew up together, and all their lives Reader was just a tomboy. However, a couple of weeks earlier, Reader came out as a trans guy and expressed wanting to do something with their looks to better fit their identity. So he does a bit of research and buys Reader his first binder/trans tape, and since they’re dating at this stage of their lives, he helps Reader put it on while rattling off the things he learned off the internet regarding how to use the binder/trans tape. It’s just overall a very endearing scene. They can maybe go out to dinner together and maybe the Reader is very anxious about being out with the binder/trans tape for the first time but he keeps reassuring them that they look very handsome.

I know I only request trans-related things but there’s just such a massive lack of such content and I really hope you’d consider writing them! Again, you don’t have to! Thank you in advance!

Beautiful, gorgeous, wonderful 🩷! This (and the first one you sent that I’m currently working on) are probably my favorite requests. I’m masc non-binary, which means I fall under the trans umbrella, so these were especially healing for me. So, so self indulgent. Your requests is and will always be welcomed, I seriously mean this. There really is a devastating lack of trans content in general, but especially within the KPOP fanfic community. These pieces might not do as well as other cisgender-based fics but they’ll always have a very special place in my heart. I love you so much, and I hope you’re doing well!

🫐 𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐄𝐓 𝐆𝐋𝐎𝐖 🫐

𝐤. 𝐣𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐛 🫐 p1harmony 🫐 1.6k

UNDER THE SUNSET GLOW was written first purely because this guy gives me insane gender envy. I almost left it at that, but honestly I suddenly got inspired to also write DRESSED FOR LOVE at the last second so here you have both! Also, no, I didn't purposely set out to make the aesthetics match the trans flag, it just happened like that which means it was destiny.

💐 𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 💐

𝐤. 𝐣𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐤 💐 xdinary heroes 💐 1.9k

( 𝐠𝐮𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬 ) ( 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 & 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 ) ( 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ) ( 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 )

[remturtle]

list five things that make you happy, then put this in the askbox for the last ten people who liked or reblogged something from you! Get to know your followers, mutuals and all the wonderful people on here!

HI ARU!! ILYSM!!! 💜💜💜

1. Matcha flavours!!

Especially in Milk tea, sweets and desserts! (Mainly because it’s not overly sweet when done well, and as someone who famously does not like sweets, it can be a blessing when I’m pressured* into getting a little treat while out with friends)

2. Villainess Otome Genre!

Look, okay, just hear me out. I know it’s an overused cliche now, but when I’d just broke into it there were very few that had comprehensible English translations, so I feel like I got the golden scoop. And I’m not as much of an avid reader of manga/manwha/manhua as I was a couple years ago, so I’m not bombarded with rip offs and trend jumpers all the time. That being said, my number 1 fave villainness manga is Hamefura! (My Next Life As A Villainness) (also!! New VN Coming for it on the switch?!? I’m so excited!!)

My beloved Bakarina is the golden standard of idiot MC dialed up to 100% and she IS my daughter.

3. Isekai genre!

Yet another overused cliche, but I’m not defending myself this time lmao. As almost every isekai fan knows, the medium is over flowing with shitty-lack-lustre-power-fantasy-harem-building but every once in a while (read: every once in a million years lmao) you’ll come across a read that is generally really interesting, whether it be through a new twist on the concept or just really great characters and world-building. A particular favourite of mine is Campfire Cooking. A more recent entry (though it might be a little old now? I don’t watch often.) but it’s basically just ‘salary man makes food for magical dog who happens to have the personality of a cat’ with a bit of monsters and worldbuilding sprinkled in. 100/10 highly reccomend (AroAce bonus: there is no romance or love interest 🥰)

Edit: campfire cooking was originally a light novel I believe, but I found it through the manga - which has an amazing and really unique artstyle that the anime COMPLETELY BUTCHERED (also I love my silly dragon dork Elrand(yes it’s ripped straight from ‘Elrond’(yes I thought it was very funny and a cute lil nod)))

4. Retro/Vintage Aesthetic!

This mainly applies to furniture and decoration, I’ve grown up with a lot of retro things around myself since my parents are a fair bit older than the norm for my generation, and there’s just something so cosy about it. You’ve probably heard me ramble about it at some point in our servers together but I’m planning on getting a lot of retro furniture for myself in the coming months. I’d love to own vintage clothes but the masc leaning pieces tend to be too restricting for my tastes, I prefer looser, more casual outfits.

5. Food!!!

Self explanatory. But just in case: as someone with very little emotional or sentimental connection to physical objects and an overwhelming lack of object permanence, pretty much the only thing that is guaranteed to consistently make me happy is good food. In particular I’m partial to Japanese and Korean dishes, but Malaysian food is pretty high up there too :3

|| * AKA: Being very strongly reminded to eat and not skip meals or ignore my body’s needs

[notjusthespongenextdoor]

I keep thinking about how acknowledging the complications of gender and bodies and attraction makes it really really difficult to find accurate words to say things sometimes but like, the more i think about it the more I'm like

Ah. Well. Maybe it's because the words we were using never really meant anything specific in the first place.

Like i keep thinking about this server I'm in that's for "trans masc" people looking to date "femme" people and I'm like. Ok. I have an image of what this means in my mind. But those words do not actually specifically carry that meaning.

Like, on some base level, the trans guy who made this server thought something vaguely like "I'd like to date women but it's hard to know what women want to date trans men, i should make a group for it."

But "trans men" was a little too specific y'know, maybe there are people who don't quite identify as men but sort of fit into this nebulous category of "idk ppl attracted to men might be attracted to them," but still with the clear intent that these people were AFAB. But then it's like, well, there are also people who fit into that category who don't identify as trans masc. And maybe there are people who were AMAB who identify with the term "trans masc" for whatever reason, idk, who am i to say!

And then there's the term "women" which is nebulous as well because well, there are some people who don't identify as women who fit into this particular type of appearance this guy is attracted to so expand that term to "femme." But like, are there not fem men as well? Are there not people who fit this general appearance who do not identify as femme? Are there not "trans masc" people who are fem/me???

Like trying to think about what kind of person I am generally attracted to, in the simplest of terms i generally like "women," but it's like ok, there are a lot of people who don't identify as a woman who have the particular kind of body and/or aesthetic i find attractive, so how do i draw a category around that--but wait now that i think about it, there are a ton of people who DO identify with the term "woman" that I'm Not attracted to, in fact that's probably the majority of them, so does saying I'm attracted to women even mean anything in the first place??

So like??? how do you actually communicate these ideas???? What words do you use??? Like i genuinely find it great that the queer community is so weird and nebulous and i do think being hard to define is great but sometimes you want to communicate a goddamn idea to someone akjsjddjdjkd language is so hard

[herehaveafandom]

This is a very random ask but, your tags on that post about attraction being wild when you separate masc/fem blah blah I forgot the post already.. Those are all exactly what I was freaking out about with my sexuality. I use lesbian for a lot of reasons, but some kink stuff with men or fictional men I kinda like, so seeing someone have the same situation is very validating.

Ok so sorry for the late response but I had to go back and find that post which was a lot BUT. Yeah!

I feel like a lesbian in my soul. My core. If I have a gender, it's some variation of "dyke". I love women. I love lesbians. peace and love on planet earth etc.

That said...sometimes a man is hot! Sometimes I'm attracted to him! I tell my friends a lot: "I want that man in a dyke manner. I want him in a lesbian way." and that I know it makes no sense but its True! Sometimes I need that man like a lesbian!

I've been thinking about the type of men i like recently and come to some conclusions. First, I don't like men Like A Straight Girl Likes Men (Probably partly because I'm not a girl. Also sorry for stereotyping you straight girls it will happen again).

Generally men I like are

Fictional. one of my favorite phrases is that @blue-jacket-blues is obsessed with is when I said "I need Obi-Wan Kenobi barechested and weeping on his knees." I WANT MY MEN TO BE TORTURED.

Queer. Queer men...I looooove fags...and sometimes I see a queer man and im like hm. we should be a gay couple. As my friend who i will not call out here says, "I like my men fruity."

As an extra layer to that, in drag. Trixie Mattel once said, "When I die, dipped me in G and throw me to the lezzies" and baby I will be at the front of that line.

Kinky. I'm going to expose myself here and say without giving out specifics that I put some money in the pockets of some ethical and highly enjoyable filmmakers and actors who do some, what shall we say, inventive scenes. I watch what I enjoy and if that's men then that's men. My fantasies are in the safety of MY head and thats perfectly fine!

Normal. Part of the reason I used to be so averse to ever thinking I could be attracted to men was because I wasn't into the red carpet sex symbols of Hollywood. I don't care about them. Some of them I appreciate aesthetically, but I'm not into them. You know what I like? MEN WHO LOOK LIKE REAL PEOPLE. You know who that is? BRENNAN LEE MULLIGAN. WHAT A GUY.

All of the above, or at least some combination. Kinky queer guys? (Leather daddies I am willing to do a lot for you.) When Brennan Lee Mulligan plays Garthy O'Brien and says "lovey" in that tone? Yeah. When drag queens get all domme? Hiiiiiiiii.

Also like...a lot of this is, again, IN MY HEAD. Fantasies are a safe place to enjoy things you might not enjoy in real life and thats totally fine! I engage with a lot of things in my head that I probably wouldn't do IRL.

But yeah, when I stopped trying to deny that there were some men I was into, my life got so much better. I'm a dyke who sometimes likes men. Could I force myself into a different label? Maybe. But it wouldn't feel RIGHT, and if I'm going to have a label its going to being one I feel comfortable with.

Anyway this was a lot longer than I meant it to be. No bitching in the notes about how I a person with less that 1000 followers am personally ruining the queer community. God bless and get head (Unless you dont want head in which case. rejoice freshly baked bread be upon ye)

[ghelgheli]

🔥 - furries

oh boy. woof. i was initially overwhelmed trying to pick out an unpopular opinion but i realized. why settle for one!

yeah, furry stuff isn't all about sex for everyone. it would be fine if it was though. it is fine if someone's interest in furry stuff is purely a sex thing. in an AU where being a furry was all about sex, it would still be fine. trying to wash over the horniness of many (not all) furries in an attempt to defend is a waste of time. someone's investment in furry media can be for the exclusive purpose of jerking off and that's all good ✨

there are no requirements to being a furry. it's not an ontological state with necessary and sufficient conditions. you don't need a suit. you don't need a sona. you don't need an account on xyz website. IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS. nobody gatekeeping furryness in either direction is worth your time. you can appreciate one piece of furry media every three weeks and call yourself a furry. you can follow three hundred furry artists and say you're not. it's not serious.

there is no essential political economy nor demographic composition to "furry culture" of any sort. there are commie furries. there are lib furries. there are nazi furries. there are lots of gay and trans furries and there are lots of cishet furries. furries are, modulo the sort of selection that occurs in filtering who has access to online and offline spaces where furry stuff might happen, basically just a subset of the general population. which is to say that being a furry is value-neutral, and is neither inherently "revolutionary" nor inherently reprehensible nor inherently gay nor inherently straight. there is no one furry culture, and subcultures and communities can differ just as much as with non-furries.

furry aesthetics are a site of ambiguity. this is hardly unique to the furrosphere, but people can and do derive pleasure from furry content that may not in design align with their orientations and that's fine. as a very masc trans lesbian, i enjoy a lot of mlm furry art because i can project my own experiences of gender on to what is depicted (caveat: there is also a lot of nasty transphobia and transmisogyny in furry subcultures trying to misread trans characters, just as in many other subculture)

a lot of furry wlw art by wlws is boring. sorry about it. it's beholden to the same trappings of desirability as any other art and snzzzz. there are many many gems of course (gammelgaedda lookin at u) but the median looks like it was arranged in a sterile room with artificial lighting and forced poses. tbc i am in awe of the technical skill that goes into a lot of this art. it also just makes me feel absolutely nothing at all otherwise. and before someone grabs me by my goat horns: im not saying this is a problem unique to wlw art, nor that wlw stuff is especially vulnerable to it. but I'm a lesbian and that's what I seek out most, so it's what I'm commenting on

you can have as many sonas as you want. some people seem strangely committed to one person one sona. you can be as polymorphic as you like. you don't have to choose.

people joke about furry artists making bank but: a lot of them undercharge. i paid something like thrice the listed price for my icon bc it was worth at least that much.

there's this one furry art style, with airbrushed looking gradients and broad rounded curves and painfully neat lines. sharp colour boundaries and hypersaturation. idk if I'm conveying this successfully but it's everywhere. and i cannot stand it it's so unpleasant to look at sorry 😭

[jrheatriz]

Does Glory make her own clothes or does she have some clothes tailor guy (gender neutral) that she knows. ALSO what kind of clothes does she wear? :3

glory makes a lot of her own clothes, and if she doesn't make it from scratch, she'll modify something she'll find at a market or thrift store. (glory does a lot of undercover shopping to stock up at her secret hideout ((read: shitty nondescript apartment)), and so if she stumbles upon a shirt she thinks would be good to cut up and make cooler she'll take it.) glory would NOT like to rely on another person to help with her personal wardrobe because that's her thing (<- special interest) and also because she'd be an utter menace to work with. like imagine if she spent all this time developing and sending a design to a tailor, and then the piece comes back and the hem is just a centimeter too short. EW??? she'd rather just do it herself.

As for the second question (rubs my hands together like an evil fly), glory's taste in clothing generally has two modes--

her assassin type outfits, which always black with pink accents, and usually are a bit more masc/androgenous. A lot of her designs are based off of formal suits and sleek menswear because for one: i think it looks sexy and cool, and for another: not appearing as a specific gender and deliberately hiding any identifiable attributes is important if you don't want to get caught by your enemies. there's a lot of leather involved because like me, glory enjoys a bit of camp. glory's very long and tall physically, so having a long trench coat and broad shoulder pads make her a lot more intimidating. the all black suit isn't just sleek and super rad, it's also good for sneaking on a nighttime mission or just if she wants to pull up to a gun fight looking like batman. the pink accents are there because glory really likes pink. here are some inspo pics i have from pinterest:

(imagine this one below is black and had a more opaque design on the chest. glory might've kept it as is if there wasn't the annoying issue of some guy just deciding to shoot her in the chest or something.)

(in my head, wisdom kaye and glory have similar ideas about making black outfits look as raw as humanly possible. see below.)

2. Okay in terms of glory's casual and more domestic style, there's less need to look raw and scary and she gives herself more freedom to experiment with color. there will still definitely be a lot of pink because glory adores pink. glory is also fond of punk and afropunk styles (especially ones you might have seen in the 70s), so she's down with a spikes leather jacket and eclectic fabric and patterns all over her clothes. see examples below.

HOWEVER. if we're getting even more casual, because sometimes spiky clothing is too much prep to get into, she'll go for more casual flare/bellbottom jeans and a short top. very cutesy, with the plus of generally not being that uncomfortable. made with simple fabrics like cotton, polyester, and just yk. stuff you'd find at a thrift shop or department store if you were so moved. a lot of this style is inspired by vintage clothing black women would wear in the 70s, because well. glory is a black woman and lives a a 70s-ish world with future aesthetics. not complicated at all. here's some examples below:

And finally, because i love black hair accessories, here's some beaded hairstyles that glory would love! having beads in her hair is a very trademark glory thing, because beads are fun and cute and glory is too miserable all the time to not allow herself the happiness of having cute pretty beads as accessories. sue her if you think it's impractical.

and uhhh yeah that's it i think! i might throw in that glory starts experimenting with other fashion aesthetics once her murderous enemies stop breathing down her neck, but that's to be decided.

[bao3bei4]

fan language: the victorian imaginary and cnovel fandom

there’s this pinterest image i’ve seen circulating a lot in the past year i’ve been on fandom social media. it’s a drawn infographic of a, i guess, asian-looking woman holding a fan in different places relative to her face to show what the graphic helpfully calls “the language of the fan.”

people like sharing it. they like thinking about what nefarious ancient chinese hanky code shenanigans their favorite fan-toting character might get up to⁠—accidentally or on purpose. and what’s the problem with that?

the problem is that fan language isn’t chinese. it’s victorian. and even then, it’s not really quite victorian at all. 

--------------------

fans served a primarily utilitarian purpose throughout chinese history. of course, most of the surviving fans we see⁠—and the types of fans we tend to care about⁠—are closer to art pieces. but realistically speaking, the majority of fans were made of cheaper material for more mundane purposes. in china, just like all around the world, people fanned themselves. it got hot!

so here’s a big tipoff. it would be very difficult to use a fan if you had an elaborate language centered around fanning yourself.

you might argue that fine, everyday working people didn’t have a fan language. but wealthy people might have had one. the problem we encounter here is that fans weren’t really gendered. (caveat here that certain types of fans were more popular with women. however, those tended to be the round silk fans, ones that bear no resemblance to the folding fans in the graphic). no disrespect to the gnc old man fuckers in the crowd, but this language isn’t quite masc enough for a tool that someone’s dad might regularly use.

folding fans, we know, reached europe in the 17th century and gained immense popularity in the 18th. it was there that fans began to take on a gendered quality. ariel beaujot describes in their 2012 victorian fashion accessories how middle class women, in the midst of a top shortage, found themselves clutching fans in hopes of securing a husband.

she quotes an article from the illustrated london news, suggesting “women ‘not only’ used fans to ‘move the air and cool themselves but also to express their sentiments.’” general wisdom was that the movement of the fan was sufficiently expressive that it augmented a woman’s displays of emotion. and of course, the more english audiences became aware that it might do so, the more they might use their fans purposefully in that way.

notice, however, that this is no more codified than body language in general is. it turns out that “the language of the fan” was actually created by fan manufacturers at the turn of the 20th century⁠—hundreds of years after their arrival⁠ in europe—to sell more fans. i’m not even kidding right now. the story goes that it was louis duvelleroy of the maison duvelleroy who decided to include pamphlets on the language with each fan sold.

interestingly enough, beaujot suggests that it didn’t really matter what each particular fan sign meant. gentlemen could tell when they were being flirted with. as it happens, meaningful eye contact and a light flutter near the face may be a lingua franca.

so it seems then, the language of the fan is merely part of this victorian imaginary we collectively have today, which in turn itself was itself captivated by china.

--------------------

victorian references come up perhaps unexpectedly often in cnovel fandom, most often with regards to modesty.

it’s a bit of an awkward reference considering that chinese traditional fashion⁠—and the ambiguous time periods in which these novels are set⁠—far predate victorian england. it is even more awkward considering that victoria and her covered ankles did um. imperialize china.

but nonetheless, it is common. and to make a point about how ubiquitous it is, here is a link to the twitter search for “sqq victorian.” sqq is the fandom abbreviation for shen qingqiu, the main character of the scum villain’s self-saving system, by the way.

this is an awful lot of results for a search involving a chinese man who spends the entire novel in either real modern-day china or fantasy ancient china. that’s all i’m going to say on the matter, without referencing any specific tweet.

i think people are aware of the anachronism. and i think they don’t mind. even the most cursory research reveals that fan language is european and a revisionist fantasy. wikipedia can tell us this⁠—i checked!

but it doesn’t matter to me whether people are trying to make an internally consistent canon compliant claim, or whether they’re just free associating between fan facts they know. it is, instead, more interesting to me that people consistently refer to this particular bit of history. and that’s what i want to talk about today⁠—the relationship of fandom today to this two hundred odd year span of time in england (roughly stuart to victorian times) and england in that time period to its contemporaneous china.

things will slip a little here. victorian has expanded in timeframe, if only because random guys posting online do not care overly much for respect for the intricacies of british history. china has expanded in geographic location, if only because the english of the time themselves conflated china with all of asia.

in addition, note that i am critiquing a certain perspective on the topic. this is why i write about fan as white here⁠—not because all fans are white⁠—but because the tendencies i’m examining have a clear historical antecedent in whiteness that shapes how white fans encounter these novels.

i’m sure some fans of color participate in these practices. however i don’t really care about that. they are not its main perpetrators nor its main beneficiaries. so personally i am minding my own business on that front.

it’s instead important to me to illuminate the linkage between white as subject and chinese as object in history and in the present that i do argue that fannish products today are built upon.

--------------------

it’s not radical, or even new at all, for white audiences to consume⁠—or create their own versions of⁠—chinese art en masse. in many ways the white creators who appear to owe their whole style and aesthetic to their asian peers in turn are just the new chinoiserie.

this is not to say that white people can’t create asian-inspired art. but rather, i am asking you to sit with the discomfort that you may not like the artistic company you keep in the broader view of history, and to consider together what is to be done about that.

now, when i say the new chinoiserie, i first want to establish what the original one is. chinoiserie was a european artistic movement that appeared coincident with the rise in popularity of folding fans that i described above. this is not by coincidence; the european demand for asian imports and the eventual production of lookalikes is the movement itself. so: when we talk about fans, when we talk about china (porcelain), when we talk about tea in england⁠—we are talking about the legacy of chinoiserie.

there are a couple things i want to note here. while english people as a whole had a very tenuous knowledge of what china might be, their appetites for chinoiserie were roughly coincident with national relations with china. as the relationship between england and china moved from trade to out-and-out wars, chinoiserie declined in popularity until china had been safely subjugated once more by the end of the 19th century.

the second thing i want to note on the subject that contrary to what one might think at first, the appeal of chinoiserie was not that it was foreign. eugenia zuroski’s 2013 taste for china examines 18th century english literature and its descriptions of the according material culture with the lens that chinese imports might be formative to english identity, rather than antithetical to it.

beyond that bare thesis, i think it’s also worthwhile to extend her insight that material objects become animated by the literary viewpoints on them. this is true, both in a limited general sense as well as in the sense that english thinkers of the time self-consciously articulated this viewpoint. consider the quote from the illustrated london news above⁠—your fan, that object, says something about you. and not only that, but the objects you surround yourself with ought to.

it’s a bit circular, the idea that written material says that you should allow written material to shape your understanding of physical objects. but it’s both 1) what happened, and 2) integral, i think, to integrating a fannish perspective into the topic.

--------------------

japanning is the name for the popular imitative lacquering that english craftspeople developed in domestic response to the demand for lacquerware imports. in the eighteenth century, japanning became an artform especially suited for young women. manuals were published on the subject, urging young women to learn how to paint furniture and other surfaces, encouraging them to rework the designs provided in the text.

it was considered a beneficial activity for them; zuroski describes how it was “associated with commerce and connoisseurship, practical skill and aesthetic judgment.” a skillful japanner, rather than simply obscuring what lay underneath the lacquer, displayed their superior judgment in how they chose to arrange these new canonical figures and effects in a tasteful way to bring out the best qualities of them.

zuroski quotes the first english-language manual on the subject, written in 1688, which explains how japanning allows one to:

alter and correct, take out a piece from one, add a fragment to the next, and make an entire garment compleat in all its parts, though tis wrought out of never so many disagreeing patterns.

this language evokes a very different, very modern practice. it is this english reworking of an asian artform that i think the parallels are most obvious.

white people, through their artistic investment in chinese material objects and aesthetics, integrated them into their own subjectivity. these practices came to say something about the people who participated in them, in a way that had little to do with the country itself. their relationship changed from being a “consumer” of chinese objects to becoming the proprietor of these new aesthetic signifiers.

--------------------

i want to talk about this through a few pairs of tensions on the subject that i think characterize common attitudes then and now.

first, consider the relationship between the self and the other: the chinese object as something that is very familiar to you, speaking to something about your own self vs. the chinese object as something that is fundamentally different from you and unknowable to you. 

consider: [insert character name] is just like me. he would no doubt like the same things i like, consume the same cultural products. we are the same in some meaningful way vs. the fast standard fic disclaimer that “i tried my best when writing this fic, but i’m a english-speaking westerner, and i’m just writing this for fun so...... [excuses and alterations the person has chosen to make in this light],” going hand-in-hand with a preoccupation with authenticity or even overreliance on the unpaid labor of chinese friends and acquaintances. 

consider: hugh honour when he quotes a man from the 1640s claiming “chinoiserie of this even more hybrid kind had become so far removed from genuine Chinese tradition that it was exported from India to China as a novelty to the Chinese themselves” 

these tensions coexist, and look how they have been resolved.

second, consider what we vest in objects themselves: beaujot explains how the fan became a sexualized, coquettish object in the hands of a british woman, but was used to great effect in gilbert and sullivan’s 1885 mikado to demonstrate the docility of asian women. 

consider: these characters became expressions of your sexual desires and fetishes, even as their 5’10 actors themselves are emasculated.

what is liberating for one necessitates the subjugation and fetishization of the other. 

third, consider reactions to the practice: enjoyment of chinese objects as a sign of your cosmopolitan palate vs “so what’s the hype about those ancient chinese gays” pop culture explainers that addressed the unconvinced mainstream.

consider: zuroski describes how both english consumers purchased china in droves, and contemporary publications reported on them. how: 

It was in the pages of these papers that the growing popularity of Chinese things in the early eighteenth century acquired the reputation of a “craze”; they portrayed china fanatics as flawed, fragile, and unreliable characters, and frequently cast chinoiserie itself in the same light.

referenda on fannish behavior serve as referenda on the objects of their devotion, and vice versa. as the difference between identity and fetish collapses, they come to be treated as one and the same by not just participants but their observers. 

at what point does mxtx fic cease to be chinese? 

--------------------

finally, it seems readily apparent that attitudes towards chinese objects may in fact have something to do with attitudes about china as a country. i do not want to suggest that these literary concerns are primarily motivated and begot by forces entirely divorced from the real mechanics of power. 

here, i want to bring in edward said, and his 1993 culture and imperialism. there, he explains how power and legitimacy go hand in hand. one is direct, and one is purely cultural. he originally wrote this in response to the outsize impact that british novelists have had in the maintenance of empire and throughout decolonization. literature, he argues, gives rise to powerful narratives that constrain our ability to think outside of them.

there’s a little bit of an inversion at play here. these are chinese novels, actually. but they’re being transformed by white narratives and artists. and just as i think the form of the novel is important to said’s critique, i think there’s something to be said about the form that fic takes and how it legitimates itself.

bound up in fandom is the idea that you have a right to create and transform as you please. it is a nice idea, but it is one that is directed towards a certain kind of asymmetry. that is, one where the author has all the power. this is the narrative we hear a lot in the history of fandom⁠—litigious authors and plucky fans, fanspaces always under attack from corporate sanitization.

meanwhile, said builds upon raymond schwab’s narrative of cultural exchange between european writers and cultural products outside the imperial core. said explains that fundamental to these two great borrowings (from greek classics and, in the so-called “oriental renaissance” of the late 18th, early 19th centuries from “india, china, japan, persia, and islam”) is asymmetry. 

he had argued prior, in orientalism, that any “cultural exchange” between “partners conscious of inequality” always results in the suffering of the people. and here, he describes how “texts by dead people were read, appreciated, and appropriated” without the presence of any actual living people in that tradition. 

i will not understate that there is a certain economic dynamic complicating this particular fannish asymmetry. mxtx has profited materially from the success of her works, most fans will not. also secondly, mxtx is um. not dead. LMAO.

but first, the international dynamic of extraction that said described is still present. i do not want to get overly into white attitudes towards china in this post, because i am already thoroughly derailed, but i do believe that they structure how white cnovel fandom encounters this texts.

at any rate, any profit she receives is overwhelmingly due to her domestic popularity, not her international popularity. (i say this because many of her international fans have never given her a cent. in fact, most of them have no real way to.) and moreover, as we talk about the structure of english-language fandom, what does it mean to create chinese cultural products without chinese people? 

as white people take ownership over their versions of stories, do we lose something? what narratives about engagement with cnovels might exist outside of the form of classic fandom?

i think a lot of people get the relationship between ideas (the superstructure) and production (the base) confused. oftentimes they will lob in response to criticism, that look! this fic, this fandom, these people are so niche, and so underrepresented in mainstream culture, that their effects are marginal. i am not arguing that anyone’s cql fic causes imperialism. (unless you’re really annoying. then it’s anyone’s game) 

i’m instead arguing something a little bit different. i think, given similar inputs, you tend to get similar outputs. i think we live in the world that imperialism built, and we have clear historical predecessors in terms of white appetites for creating, consuming, and transforming chinese objects. 

we have already seen, in the case of the fan language meme that began this post, that sometimes we even prefer this white chinoiserie. after all, isn’t it beautiful, too? 

i want to bring discomfort to this topic. i want to reject the paradigm of white subject and chinese object; in fact, here in this essay, i have tried to reverse it.

if you are taken aback by the comparisons i make here, how can you make meaningful changes to your fannish practice to address it? 

--------------------

some concluding thoughts on the matter, because i don’t like being misunderstood! 

i am not claiming white fans cannot create fanworks of cnovels or be inspired by asian art or artists. this essay is meant to elaborate on the historical connection between victorian england and cnovel characters and fandom that others have already popularized.

i don’t think people who make victorian jokes are inherently bad or racist. i am encouraging people to think about why we might make them and/or share them

the connections here are meant to be more provocative than strictly literal. (e.g. i don’t literally think writing fanfic is a 1-1 descendant of japanning). these connections are instead meant to 1) make visible the baggage that fans of color often approach fandom with and 2) recontextualize and defamiliarize fannish practice for the purposes of honest critique

please don’t turn this post into being about other different kinds of discourse, or into something that only one “kind” of fan does. please take my words at face value and consider them in good faith. i would really appreciate that.

please feel free to ask me to clarify any statements or supply more in-depth sources :) 

[the-ghost-king]

You know how everyone has at least one minor rrverse character with no significance but they're you're favorite? Okay Mitchell from the Aphrodite Cabin is one of mine...

Make him Italian, probably Southern Italian I like to imagine his family immigrated from the Florentine area

Trans masc

At first he thinks he's just a gnc trans guy but after he starts medical transition he realizes he's nonbinary

Uses he/they pronouns generally

But when people he's close to talk about or to him and they're using nouns to describe him they use female gendered nouns (ex: daughter, lady, girl, etc), and yes these are a part of his gender expression

Also the type of person to hyphenate their deadname with their original middle name as their new middle name

They definitely are the type of person too who just invites invasive and awkward questions (as long as they're being asked in good faith) for educational purposes, and he'll give you the most derailed answer if that's what you want

Also he might be femme but he's not weak and he will beat you up if you're just being unnecessarily transphobic

His dad is a high quality fashion designer and because of this Mitchell is kind of spoiled (okay very spoiled) about clothes, always having high thread count clothes and also personally tailored pieces

They've got some casual plans to take over their dad's business but he thinks that he wants to expand it out into a more affordable fashion market for the average person (they like affordable and sustainable fashion too! The artistic pieces are nice but it's not a long-term sustainable business model!)

He personally dresses very camp, even the cishets look at him and go "oh he's you know... _/‾"

They love a good suit, very gender to him

Him, Nico, and Chiara all getting together to talk in Italian; and have culturefests or something

Watching Italian films, and TV shows, updating Nico on modern Italian culture, etc

Bi or Pan, but doesn't really feel the need to label himself, usually just says multisexual or mspec unless someone doesn't know what that means

His attraction to women is gay, his attraction to nonbinary people is gay, his attraction to men is gay... If you can't handle that you're not their target audience

Idk how old they are but Rick's timeline is fake and so are ages then, so him and Austin are dating

Very cute couple, very casual dynamic, probably have won "cutest couple award" or something at some point

Definitely went to all their high school dances together

Their favorite color... Probably green or pink... Yellow is also a good option

Mitchell probably wears glasses for the "aesthetic" but has worse vision with them on

Would not put it past him to be a social media influencer but have a secret Twitter account for BL

He definitely reads GL too

Very into anime, jdrama, and manga, likes manhwa and kdrama and any other variation of those things

Yeah probably kpop too

They probably like stuff like "My First First Love" and "Cherry Magic!" etc

First anime was probably one of the ones everyone seems to start with so maybe "Your Lie in April" or "Ouran High school Host Club"... His all time favorite is probably "Given"

First Manga... Probably "Orange" or something unexpected like "Black Butler"

He's definitely the person who introduces Nico to anime and such... The whole thing just sort of confuses Nico but he likes a couple of them, "Death Note" and some other psychological or horror type stuff

Definitely has some talent when it comes to hair styling, lots of people at camp are always going to him for haircuts and styles so he starts charging $2 or something for it and basically has a summer job at camp

He lives in the New York area year round (honestly, he probably goes home on the weekends sometimes from summer camp and goes to camp for the weekends sometimes in the school year)

Because of how close he is to camp other people in the area will often call him to do their hair and makeup for homecoming/prom/etc and he always agrees unless he's visiting family in Italy or he's touring with his dad

Likes to chill with Austin at the infirmary, partially to hang out but also probably because that's one of the few places in camp that has air conditioning

Will is always getting after him for sitting on the counters, something about it being unsanitary but they don't think it should matter as long as they're not in any of the operating rooms

Austin likes him too much to tell him no but yeah it's not sanitary, but to Austin the choice is a sanitary counter or a happy and comfortable boyfriend... He's picking happy boyfriend

Also Mitchell is very supportive of Austin's music career and always trying to convince Austin to let them use tracks of his music on the runways at their dad's shows

But Austin always says no because he wants to "make it big on his own" which Mitchell thinks is a bit silly but if it's what Austin wants he'll support it

Mitchell is super into camp's drama, they don't do anything with the information or all the secrets they just like knowing all of it

If you ask them to keep a secret they absolutely will

But that embarrassing story about you that went around camp five years ago that you lowkey wish everyone would just stop talking about, he's the one that keeps restarting the cycle

He babbles to Nico all the time about all the ongoings of camp because Nico is also good at keeping his mouth shut, but Nico doesn't care about the drama for the same reasons though (Nico: "Hold on, back up, you said Drew knows Sadie Kane? Interesting..." Mitchell:"okay Mr. Ominous, and also yeah, I did say that, so anyhow... ")

Very artistic person in general, he can probably play the piano okay, he's no professional and no Apollo kid but he can play some songs, and they have enough practice to learn new songs on their own!!

Definitely was voted by camp to have the worst taste in music though

Says his favorite movie is probably "Bring It On" or "Heathers" of something similar, but his actual favorite film is one of those cliche silent black and white ones that's only available in French

They definitely did dance for a few years growing up, has a ballet, tap, and hip hope background to work with but he left it behind when we was 13 or so but eventually they start to get back into hip hop and keep up with various types and lessons and places through their 20s

He's always the person to start groupchats

They think they're fun but they rarely take off without prompting from him

Also often times plays matchmaker for people ("they would be a cute couple wouldn't they? I don't know though, does she like girls? I think so?")

Those are just some ideas off the top of my head, hopefully you enjoy!

[that-stone-butch]

Hi can I ask for some general advice? I’m femme and single and every day that I don’t have a lovely butch in a leather jacket smooching me is another day wasted. I just want a older butch to call me sweetheart, change my oil, and roll us a joint while I make them dinner while wearing a pretty dress so when I bend over they can see I’m not wearing anything underneath! Is that so much to ask!! Where are they?? How do I flirt with butches when my friend turns into Silly Putty around hot women?

Or, more specially, how would YOU like a femme to approach you/ask you out/express interest? Granted, most of it is online at the beginning, cause there aren’t very many if any queer spaces in my area that are open, and even then they were 97% gay men anyway. I’m very much a bottom and a sub so being the one to break the ice and get the ball rolling is very strange and difficult for me, but I also know that a lot of butches can be shy at first so I gotta Just Do It. Help me Jasper, you’re my only hope….. to get laid.

I'M your only hope? oh NO! i'll do my best! obviously i'm not every butch but i'll do my best to bring my perspective into this. i've never participated in hookups and casual sex, all of my flirting experiences have been geared towards building a relationship. but for the most part, i'd wager the 'showing someone you're interested' credits transfer. on that note, if anyone has input on more casual experiences, i genuinely invite them to add on to this post.

okay so it seems like we should separate the advice into online flirting, and irl flirting. let's start with online.

it's always better to make a good first impression rather than come on too strong, in my experience. start with a compliment, keep it light and respectful. in general, i find that the best compliments are things that someone *chose*. as someone who gets constant online 'compliments' (spoiler alert it's actually catcalling), i'm NEVER flattered when someone opens with talking about my body. 'your jawline is incredible' isn't the ice breaker it sounds like; maybe i'm self-conscious about my jawline! you don't know, you're literally introducing yourself with this. like so many people compare me to men and male actors, and they think i'm going to take it as a compliment? the very POINT of opening with a compliment is that you DON'T know what people do and don't like about themselves. maybe you like tall girls, but just because you do doesn't mean the person you're interested in is proud of the fact they're tall. ESPECIALLY in trans and gnc spaces, you just don't know what relationship strangers are going to have with their own bodies, and opening with that is just going to display a level of entitlement that is a bit of a turn-off, personally. so compliment people on things they chose, like their attire or aesthetic or tastes. it's really flattering to hear someone say 'hey, i also like that thing you *chose* to make part of your whole deal.' from there it might be the case that someone likes and enjoys hearing compliments about things they didn't necessarily choose, but you really should test the waters first.

additionally, compliments like this break the ice because it's also a thing you would say to a friend? it's my experience that good relationships always grow from good friendships. even if your conversations don't end up in a relationship, or casual sex or whatever, you can still end up with a friend which is a great thing (butch/femme friendships are something we don't talk about a whole lot as a community, because we focus a LOT on sex, but they're life-changing like my femme friends make my fucking day). it can be difficult online to make your intentions known; you don't have the subtext, body language, all the things that help you further communicate your intentions in person. that's why, online, it's good to make your intentions known after you've built up a good rapport with someone. strike up conversation, find things in common, and after a little bit it's perfectly respectful and okay to tell someone you're interested in them. however, and i cannot stress this enough, do NOT be vague about your intentions online. at least in my case, it's very easy to misinterpret people over text. (who am i kidding, tumblr is the internet capital of people misinterpreting each other). be plain about your intentions. from there you might talk logistics, trade phone numbers (use encryption! use signal!), agree to focus on building a friendship together, part ways, etc. get to know people, ask them questions about themselves, show them you're engaged and interested.

i want to take a second here, especially for younger people reading this, just because someone is gay and/or you're into them doesn't mean you should be unsafe with your information. play it close to the chest, if you're going to meet up meet up in a neutral location. DON'T meet people from the internet in your home, or theirs. exchanging addresses is something to do well after you know you're in a safe situation. ALWAYS be ready to bail. be safe.

as for in-person, i'm sorry to say but in my experience you ARE likely going to have to make the first move. for a lot of butches (and femmes) being out and about is kind of a gender battleground. the LAST thing i want to do is make someone uncomfortable, especially as a masc woman. a misread signal can be dangerous. additionally, i want to say you should NEVER hit on someone who can't leave the situation. never hit on someone just doing their job (unless they're stating very clear intentions toward you from their position. it's sometimes okay to flirt *back* with people on the clock, but still give them space to back off) because you're putting them in a VERY uncomfortable situation.

in-person flirting for wlw is kind of fraught with some difficulty in that you need to signal that you're gay. for me, as a butch, if someone hits on me and they don't signal very hard that they're gay, i'm left wondering if they even knew i was a woman. i've had straight girls hit on me, it's the weirdest fucking thing. now, i'm not equating femme presentation with looking plausibly straight or whatever femmephobic brainrot is floating around out there, femmes ARE gnc and do so in a unique and beautiful way. but being wlw, especially what feels often like a 'gender outlaw,' you're often plagued with self-doubt. sometimes it's easier to believe you're misreading someone as gay and they were just being friendly (or just being friendly AND are gay, as i said earlier that happens and that's a GOOD thing).

i find, in person, it's a good idea to open with a compliment that specifically recognizes someone's butch presentation. if someone says 'i love your hair, by the way' i'm IMMEDIATELY in blush mode. it feels so good to be recognized when i'm out and about, when so many people just decide i'm a man to validate their own worldview, or think they have to compensate for my presentation, assure me no i'm pretty i look very feminine, to validate me as a woman. meeting someone in-person, that you're interested in, it's validating and refreshing to just be seen and shown that someone's interested in the way i'm putting a lot of effort into presenting.

that said, never push people. if you see someone at a coffee shop, campus diner, bookstore, etc. that you're interested in, as with online it's a good idea to aim to leave a good impression. chances are, you might see that person again. i'd rather have someone see me, flirt a little, and then approach me *again* the next time they see me, then go all-in intense the first time. obviously it's smart to play it by ear but if you feel like you're coming on too strong, it's a good idea to back up a little. but that's just me.

above all, remember to have fun with it! flirting is fun, and if you're trying to tactically align your flirting with someone too hard toward a relationship, it kind of loses a little something? i find it's usually a good idea to approach people with the genuine intention of making a connection, and seeing where that takes the two of you, rather than trying to *get* someone to reciprocate. keep it fun! keep it light!

i hope that helps! i'm sorry i don't have more experience, if anyone has something to add, they're welcome to!

[amorphousfurrysnakething]

Random dogwalking thoughts because it’s too hot to sleep (I am personally upset at fossil fuel executives for this) and we could both use the exercise:

(Disclaimer: I’m not exactly up to date on the lore here, because GW sucks, but a cursory research suggests things haven’t changed much since my last experience)

The Chaos Gods of Warhammer/Warhammer 40k are all generally presented as male, which seems odd to me, these conceptual beings of pure emotion drawn from the subconcious of all sentient life all fall on one side of the 20th century Western human gender binary. Even Slaanesh, the explicitly hermaphroditic God of Pleasure typically uses male titles (Prince of Pleasure, Lord of Excess etc.) and (at least when I played), used male pronouns (though the Lexicanum article uses it/its for it now, which might be a change?)

I know that out of character, this is because it was written by a systemically sexist society for a lightly misogynist assumed audience decades ago, but that doesn’t mean we have to keep it! So here are my thoughts on how I would rewrite the Chaos Gods’ relationship to gender in the extremely unlikely scenario I’m in a position to do so:

Khorne: He/Him agender. A decent amount of his aesthetic is testosterone poisoning, so it seems reasonable to retain male coding, at least for human worshippers, but he also is all about killing and bloodshed, distinctly gender-neutral pursuits. He doesn’t care about sex, just blood.

Nurgle: He/Him GNC. Grandfather Nurgle is often presented as having a distinctly paternal attitude, and I kinda like that, so he gets to stay masc too. I would, however, play up the classic-witch aspects of his portrayal (he’s described as brewing plagues over a cauldron, and similar such things), with little concern for whether such aspects are traditionally feminine coded (as most of them are). There’s no reason our friendly grandpa plaguelord can’t rock a black dress and pointed hat!

Slaanesh: Neopronoun hermaphrodite. As the Chaos God of Pleasure and Sensuality, I think it’s appropriate for e to be all genders and sexes (including alien ones if you’re feeling creative), and a neopronoun seems appropriate for em, rather than trying to squash em into a human gender binary. I’ve used E/Em here fairly arbitrarily, but basically any could work, one could even make a case for singular they, to convey the multitudinous nature of eir gender. I’d probably also mess with the depiction as “both genders split down the middle”, as it still implies a binary that shouldn’t really apply to a warp-god. I’d also try and use more titles that are generally feminine (swap some ‘prince’s to ‘princess’s) or otherwise nonmasculine

Tzeentch: Genderfluid, any pronouns, so long as you don’t use the same ones twice in a row. Come on, he’s the Changer Of Ways. Would she ever stick with a single gender? And if vir gender confuses their enemies or upsets the gender fundamentalists, so much the better for her schemes. Hus common titles are all generally gender-neutral already, so wouldn’t need much tweaking.

 (Also, when I first came out as genderfluid one of my friends was completely unsurprised that their Tzeenchian friend had a changing gender, so I might be a little biased)

[whaleofatjme1920]

Hello El!!

I bring my exchange info for an matchup. If say creepypasta/marblehornets matchup for this.

So my name is Shay, I go by Whiskey because it's a preference in liquor on my end. I go by they/them pronouns, AFAB and I'm bi and omniromantic, I do have an mild preference for men or masc aligned people. I'm a Libra sun, Virgo moon and Aquarius rising. I'm also introvert (INFJ-A) and I'm constantly sleeply. I do have C-PSTD, Bipolar II and GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder).

I'm Caucasian/White and I stand at 5'9. I have celtic and Danish heritage, My family where vikings. I'm really tall and legs double the size of my torso, as in my thighs are as big as my torso in length, same with my calves. I call myself spider legs because of that. I have this natural like wolf cut going on that is this dark green with my roots be my natural dark chocolate brown hair. My eyes are hazel with gold flecks that shift in color which I found out is normal for people with hazel eyes. I paint my nails black a lot because I find the color pleasing. My build wise is like a rectangle like shape with broad shoulders. I'm pretty strong and I'm proud of my strength. I'm currently starting to get into shape and lose weight so I have fit shape but not like over for. Just the right amount of fat over my muscles. I have a lot of stretch marks,, mostly around my waist and my biceps. I call them my stripes or lighting marks. I have plans to get snake bite piercings and wear like the ring ones in them. I'm getting an tattoo soon that is like this and then I want a burning match tattoo on my color bone. My ears are piercing and I like wearing fake gauges, spirals and then the ratings that have the dangly stuff and cuffs with them. I also wear like those stereotypical hot topic chokers. I wear a lot of long sleeves and skinny jeans, I do like ripped skinny jeans. I also love flannels and black boots like doc martins or converse.

I think you can assume by the statement of me liking whiskey I am the rebellious sort which is true. I have drank a bit and tried weed, I don't do it anymore tho.I have been told if people don't know me and see me from afar I'm intimidating to approach. Even being spooky and intimidating, I promise I'm just a big softie. I usually assume the mom friend of the group with my friends. I always worry about them and make sure they take care of themselves. Sometimes I do it so much I forget to take care of myself. I'm really gentle and compassionate, along with being extremely empathetic. I can be stubborn and bit judgemental at times, mostly working off first impressions myself when getting to know each other. I have an hard time being insertive and putting my foot down with my boundaries, scared to lose people even if the hurt me. I'm an introvert through and through, liking to watch from the back and observe the way things go on around me. I do my best to be an optimist because I can't see the point in see everything wrong in this world, it helps me to see the good. I love going on adventures with my close friends and love being a chaotic bastard with them. My dnd alignment is chaotic neutral and I'm Hufflepuff. I do live by the saying do no harm but take no shit. But I won't hesitate to fight someone for the right causes.

I do always constantly look like I am going to funeral of some sort because I own nothing but black. The color makes me feel really comfortable but it's not my favorite color. My favorite color is green but I like sage green, forest green, mossy green, etc. The earthy greens are my favorites. I have a love for the forest and woodlands, finding a sense of home in the woods. I do love archery and something I'm definitely going to be picking up along with playing the drums. I also smoke herbal cigarettes as well as alternative to smoking.

You know that I often get called a cryptid and at this point, I am just one. Cryptidcore, Midwest Gothic, and Pacific Northwest Gothic are my favorite aesthetics. I have a huge love for cryptozoology (the study of cryptids), parapsychology (the psychic phenomena and other paranormal claims), original creepypasta stories and to be honest anything like spooky and creepy. I want to be a mortician and I'm attending school for that. I also really love the dark, especially if I have some good music blasting through my earbuds. I am a sucker for long road trips and seeing things, filling the adventure heart I have. My favorite animals are coyotes and I also like horses. I like to write a lot as well. My favorite cryptids are The Beast of Bray Road, Not Deer, Jersey Devil and Jacklopes.

Thank you so much and I'm so glad I got a chance to reach out to you. It all started with me wanting to send memes to you and being a little 🌲 anon.

Also here is what the tattoo I'm am getting done looks like ↓↓↓

Your matchup is... Jeff!

Sorry this took me a hot minute, I've been out all day! But here's my part of the exchange :}

In general:

Alright, I read this over and just immediately thought about Jeff, mostly because of your personality!! I have so many things I want to get into and want to say though. SO, let's get right into that.

Things he likes about you:

Physically speaking, as that is how I always start, Jeff really, really loves your height and your legs make him fuzzy on the inside. He just loves it SO MUCH. Your hair is gorgeous, and he's never going to stop wanting to run his fingers through it. Whatever color it's dyed as becomes his new favorite, and he loves seeing your natural hair poke through as well. Your eyes are so gorgeous in his opinion and he finds himself getting lost in them. He thinks your nails being painted black is nice because honestly, he's prone to painting his nails black as well. He finds your body so great!! Wants to hold you and loves feeling new muscles when they get built up. Regardless, he just physically adores you. Your stretch marks are also something he adores as well, and he will fondly call them your tiger stripes and admire them in their entirety. He would love your piercings and the tattoo you want to get. Also really, really loves your choice in jewelry. Chokers are hot in his opinion lmfao. Ripped skinny jeans, flannels, black boots, converse!! just everything about your style works so well with him. And your personality!! That slight rebellious edge am slightly intimidating nature??? PLEASE

General cute stuff:

I feel like the two of you are going to spend some evenings in painting nails. Jeff is slightly touch starved and will absolutely run his hands over your body and just adore everything about you. I can also see Jeff working out with you as well!! He will be your number one supporter regardless of what you're going to be doing. He finds it so sweet that you take care of other people. Jeff also understands you being an introvert, because he's kind of the same way. He would absolutely would hang back with you and just exist. He likes observing as well. However, he also can be a bit of a chaotic guy and will go on adventures with you! Scary places, nature, wherever you want, Jeff will go with you. He'll also read up on fun little places and then go with you. He will absolutely get you green things just because he knows that you like that color. Jeff will also take you on walks in the woods, and he'll also let you wear his clothing!! Jeff actually smokes weed semi-regularly, so while you smoke herbal cigarettes, he's going to be lighting up alongside you as long as you're comfortable. He'd probably like the herbal cigarettes as well. Jeff would love to hear about your love of cryptozoology! He's met so many beings in his life that fit that that he'd just go buck wild being able to tell you about his stories and experiences as well. Parapsychology is also something he'd love to listen from you. He finds you going into the mortician business so incredible, and that you like the dark. Your music?? Please share that with him!!

You two as a couple:

Jeff knows that you are intimidating but so, so sweet. He finds you so admirable and honestly, he needs that kind of caring, loving influence in his life. He finds you being the mom friend of your group super fun and while he's not a dad friend, definitely loves saying things to remind all of your shared 'kids' to listen to you. He wants you to take care of yourself!! He wants you to be kind to yourself!! You being stubborn is something he understands because honestly he can be stubborn. Judgmental? He gets it but honestly might challenge the notion from time to time. He will remind you about boundaries and how important it is to set them. Time to time, he may step in just to help you out. He will also remind you to be assertive, mostly because he would hate to see anyone take advantage of you. Jeff will read up on C-PTSD, Bipolar II, and your anxiety simply so he can be more prepared to help you in any way he can. He deals with some things himself, but he doesn't always know how to handle others. So, he would definitely read up for you and end up becoming your rock when you need it. Honestly, just let him take care of you in his own way. Rough around the edges?? Absolutely. But he's so soft for you. He will help you in any way he can, whether it be weathering the bad days and loving the good ones. Let him adore you.

Closing Thoughts/Other Things:

Hi love bug, or as I will often fondly refer to you as, Dr. Cryptid! I was so happy to read all of this about you. Thank you so so much for sending this in and once again doing mine! I loved reading all about it, and I love talking with you. Thank you so much for that lil pine tree emoji and memes. Also, please take care of yourself!! There's only one of you in the universe and it's so important to love and cherish yourself. It's always okay to say no or know when to bail. Never take care of so many people that you leave all your energy with them and none for yourself. I look forward to our future convos and just friendship in general. As always, let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed!

[mumblino]

My self discovery journey

Heyo!

This is not what most of my posts are gonna be like, but I felt like it was important to talk about, and pride month is a perfect time to tell my (summarized) self discover journey~

My name is Brandon, although I don’t care if you call me Mumble. My pronouns change a lot since i don’t really know myself that well, but currently, they are He/Him, They/Them and It/Its. There are also days where I don’t really identify with any 3rd person pronouns, I’m just me, and that’s what I mean when I say No Pronouns.

I have Depression, Anxiety and Combination Type- ADHD, which is why i am on the internet a lot.

This is a very long post, so buckle up

//TW: Transphobia, Enbyphobia, Homophobia, Anxiety, Depression, ADHD,  Disordered Eating, Racism (not a huge part, but there are mentions of it), Self Harm, Mentions of a Psych Ward, Medication

I am a trans-masc, afab teenager. I am a romance-neutral aromantic (my interpretation of that is that I don’t mind romance, but I don’t actively want one or seek one out), and a sex-repulsed asexual (I am completely repulsed by the idea of engaging in sexual intercourse with anyone). and I am currently out to my friends, my mother, and my step-father, and am in the beginning-middle of my transition.

 I started questioning my gender identity when I was in early 7th grade, after my friend Saturn (pronouns are They/It/Bun) first came out to me as Non-Binary, and asked me to use They/Them pronouns.

I’ve never really actively considered myself straight. I’ve always seen love as between two people, and while I usually thought of a man and a woman, I have always been open to same sex couples. My best friend in 2nd grade actually introduced me to the LGBTQ+ community (not directly, but she did talk about those types of things quite a bit), and while I don’t want to assume her sexuality, I am fairly certain she experienced attraction to both boys and girls.

Before this, the only thing I really knew about trans people was that they existed, and I didn’t really care that much. However, my brother and my father had the idea that most LGBTQ+ people are “snowflakes” and since I didn’t know anything else, I believed them.

However, I wanted to learn more about Trans people, and how to be respectful and supportive of them. I did, at the time, consider myself to be LGBTQ+. In both 5th and 6th grade I thought I was either a lesbian or bisexual, since I didn’t know the difference between aesthetic attraction and sexual attraction, and well, people are pretty!

I also had this need to be very masculine, and I always have. I’ve always wanted to be a tom-boy, to be the masculine one in the group, be the Buttercup of my friends! And during th grade, as I started to learn more about LGBTQ+ people, I wanted to be the top. I wanted to be the stereotypical lesbian. The one with the androgynous style, chill attitude, and the one that scares the shit out of guys.

I’ve even said to myself (not knowing that being trans was a thing) that I want to be a boy. I’ve always identified more with the guys at my school. Not in a pick me girl way, but in a “I relate to you a lot, and I feel like I fit in with you” way.

 And to some extent, I wouldn’t be surprised if this is because of how often feminine guys are made fun of. I would not be surprised one bit if this is because femininity has always been demonized to me, especially if a guy is being feminine.

Anyways, through this dive into the Alphabet Mafia, I found out about asexuality. It really resonated with me, because I always found sexual things gross, but that also confused me. If I was asexual, why did I want to be masculine so badly? Why wasn’t I like the other girls? I’ve always felt like an outcast around most people, but especially girls. I never related to them. I always related to more masculine people, and boys especially.

After this, I decided to start looking into trans culture, and FTM culture especially. Through this I found Kalvin Garrah. I know now that he is very much a toxic influence on the Trans community, but he taught me a lot about trans culture. I also found Sam Collins and Jammidoger through him, who also taught me a lot (and are much more positive influences.) These FTM youtubers taught me a lot, and I started to realize, that I might be trans.

Because of this, I decided to ask Saturn if they could refer to me by They/Them pronouns. I went with They/Them because I didn’t feel like I passed well enough to use them. My hair was still long, I wasn’t out to my family, I still acted feminine sometimes, etc.

I would also like to make note of the fact that at the time, I was not very accepting of most gender identities outside of the “binary” and didn’t consider it a spectrum. I had a very close minded and rigid view of gender, and this is mostly due to family influences. This view is why I didn’t want to use He/Him pronouns, because I didn’t feel like I deserved it. I have since grown out of that viewpoint, reflected, and tried to do better when trying to understand other people’s identities.

This stress of my identity crisis, untreated mental conditions, toxic friends, and general struggle with school caused me to develop disordered eating habits. I have never been diagnosed with an eating disorder, however I’ve struggled with disordered eating for a long time. During 7th grade, I started to struggle with binge eating. The moment I would get home, I would immediately start a binge. It was uncontrollable, I felt horrible, and eventually, my mom had started to notice that I was eating an unhealthy amount.

A few months after this, I started to see a therapist, and at the end of my first session with her, I came out to my mom. I could not be more thankful for how supportive of me she is. She has only shown love, and care for me, and the only time she’d no to a step in my transition, is out of a genuine concern for my physical and mental health. She is also religious, but she loves me for the way that I am, and has a very loving and positive viewpoint when it comes to that.

I didn’t do much for my transition at the time (other than switching my pronouns to He/They at some point) and focused more on school, depression, and my romantic orientation.

This was a part that really confused me. I’ve never had a crush (except for one that came from peer-pressure) and I’ve never had an interest in romance. (Keep in mind I had no idea what ‘Aromantic’ was) So what was I? For the time being I decided to consider myself either bi-romantic or hetero-romantic, because like I said, people are pretty, and I tended to notice pretty girls more than pretty boys. 

There was also another hurdle. My (now ex) group of toxic friends. These friends weren’t toxic in the way that they wouldn’t include me, they were toxic in the way that they would talk shit about any minority group, a lot of which i was a part of. They were racist (I am not a poc but it still made me upset and uncomfortable) ableist (they threw the r-slur around a lot) homophobic (this was the biggest one, mainly making fun of them, callng them ‘pixies’ and would say they would ‘burn them’) and transphobic/enbyphobic (they didn’t consider they/them pronouns valid, they threw around the ‘attack helicopter’ joke, and they would dehumanize trans people, and call them ‘transvestites’)

Over the summer, I still spoke to them, and tried to ignore all of their behavior, because if I had cut them off, I would be completely alone. I have an extremely intense fear of abandonment, so the idea of doing that was comparable to death.

Through the first half of 8th grade (I was doing school from home) I didn’t talk to many people other than them. I stayed in my room a lot, and the first half of 8th grade was a steady decline in my mental health. My depression and anxiety had significantly worsened over that time, and I was extremely lonely. This was also worsened by the fact that I have ADHD, and at the time, it was undiagnosed, so I was failing almost all of my classes. 

The only way I was able to comfort myself was through my hyperfixations, and over the summer, I had a developed a hyperfixation on the Origins MCRP group. Because I had nothing else to do, I decided to pick up drawing again, and in October, I did an Origins version of Inktober. Every day, I would draw a different character from their series Fairy Tail Origins. I did not complete the challenge, however I did get through the first week, and I am proud of myself for that.

One one of the days, I had to draw a character named Brandon (partial inspiration for my name lel.) Brandon is a sky devil-slayer, and a co-guild leader of a guild named Divinus Magia. and I decided to draw him in a picture that symbolically showed his mental struggles with a devil named Jupiter. I posted it to the fan discord, and the actor and creator of the character (online username is ReinBloo) noticed my artwork. I was extremely excited about this, and decided to start drawing more and more. 

Because of this newfound motivation to pick up drawing again, I decided to create my own persona. I decided to make my main persona a revised design of my profile picture at the time. It was an improvised character, but I liked the aspects of it, and in late 2020, (yes i am 14 shut up) I created my main Oc, Jupiter. (at the time he didn’t have a name and I landed on Jupiter because I like it, and it fit him.) Jupiter is a space inspired demon, with dark grey skin, white star-like freckles, pure white eyes, white hair (that is slightly purple) and light gray ram-like horns with gray stripes on the base and tip. His color palette is that of the Asexual flag, and this was originally unintentional, but since I like the colors, and my Asexuality is an important part of my identity, I went with it.

I fell in love with this character, and he helped me figure out a lot about myself. I continued to watch origins, and draw for them (mainly ReinBloo’s characters lel) and on January 27th of 2021, in the premier chat of one of the episodes of My Hero Origins, I met MissyLea (She also goes by Lea, and Vesper). We instantly became friends, and moved over to discord to continue our conversation. By February 10th, we were already planning on being platonic valentines. We related on so many things, she was so kind, and loving, and understanding, and very quickly, I grew a strong emotional bond with her.

By the end of February, I developed an emotional attraction to her. I wanted to be with her forever, and while I personally wouldn’t consider it romantic right now, at the time, I did. After a few months of identifying as Aromantic (I had learned about it by now, through the Asexual community) I decided to change that label to Demi-Panromantic. I realized that I didn’t really see her gender, I didn’t care. I love her, and that’s all that matters to me. Now, I feel as though it was more of an emotional and somewhat sensual love for her, but even so, I love her to the edge of the universe and back, no matter what our relationship is.

I have told her things I’ve told no one else. When I was struggling, she was there for me, with kind words, and an endless amount of unconditional love. She is the type of person everyone deserves to have in their life, whether they are a friend, a family member, a partner, or anything else, everyone deserves to have a friend with the amount of love in their heart that she has.

On March 19th, I decided to tell her how I felt. When she said she felt the same way about me, I was happier than ever. To have someone who feels the same way about me as I do about them is amazing. We started dating later that day.

It’s only been 3 months, but I feel like I’ve known her for 3 years. Vesper has made me feel complete when I’m around them, but they’ve made it so much easier to stand on my own as well. 

Near the end of my 8th grade year, I officially cut them off, and came out to them (albeit in a very aggressive way) and I wouldn’t have been able to do this without Vesper’s support. Just one person has made it so much easier to cut off toxic people.

Vesper’s support also made it easier for me to be more open with my therapist. I began to tell her more of what I was struggling with, and it has made my mental health journey so much more bearable.

Over these past two months, I have finally gotten a diagnosis, and been able to truly know what direction to go in to properly treat my mental health.

I hope that by sharing my story you can better know me, and I also hope I can help create a safer environment for others to talk about their stories.

I hope one day people will be able to be themselves, and talk about their experiences, without the fear of judgement, or persecution, and if just this one post helps us get closer to that, I will be happy.

Happy Pride Month everybody! You are all amazing, loved and valid! 🌈💖

[cowboyfairy]

passing for pre-t trans dudes from someone who’s actually pre-t

hey so this has been requested a lot. i’m a trans dude with an incredibly unsupportive family who have denied me access to gender therapists, a name change, any kind of medical transition and have threatened to disown me if i ever try to start hormones. i’ve been out for three years and i’ve learnt what works and what doesn’t in terms of passing. thought it might help some of you guys out.

Hair:

short. i know it’s sounds obvious but a lot of trans dudes go for that kinda justin beiber circa 2010-esque look and it’s really not gonna do wonders for you. ask for something basic, short back and sides is generally what to go for, and longer on top, but be careful they don’t give you that classic lesbian undercut. some trans guys are lucky and can pull off slightly longer hair, but it’s better to go short and just leave a bit of length on the top to style. get the edges of your hair squared off, or do it yourself if they didn’t do it for you. ask for a grade three/two. go to either a unisex salon or a barbers, but really don’t try your luck with a regular hairdressers, they’re either gonna give you the Ellen DeGeneres style or the can i speak to the manager style.

this was my most recent haircut. i have naturally blonde hair but darker colours often help you pass better, so i dye mine brown every time i get a haircut.

Face:

Unless you’re very talented with makeup, don’t listen to people telling you to contour to get a more masculine face shape. it doesn’t work and just makes you look feminine as you’ve got a load of makeup on your face. keep it natural. cis guys have thicker eyebrows naturally, castor oil and coconut oil can both be bought online or in health stores and can be put on your eyebrows to help them grow a bit thicker, but it doesn’t work equally as well for everyone. if you still want to try and use a little bit of makeup then eyebrows can benefit from a TINY (and i mean tiny) bit of eyeshadow to darken them up. if you want to, shave your peach fuzz, it doesn’t really do much to help you pass but it can be a dysphoria alleviater for some people.

Voice:

Those humming exercises you’ve seen don’t work. nothing is gonna physically change your voice permanently except testosterone. however , speaking confidently and loudly can help as those are seen as more typically male traits. try to use your chest voice (watch a youtube vid on head voice vs chest voice if you don’t know what i mean) and look people in the eyes when you talk to them. you can’t change your voice but you can change how you talk to people. confidence can make you seem far more typically masculine.

Binding and packing:

binding is obviously super important but if you can’t do it for personal reasons then please don’t feel bad. i have three binders from gc2b, two nude ones and a dark blue one. the nudes are good for wearing white shirts as they don’t draw attention to the fact you’re wearing one, but can look a bit odd if people do see them peaking out the top of your shirt, which is why the darker one comes in handy. people assume it’s just an undershirt/vest. Personally i don’t pack as i find it creates more dysphoria than it alleviates, but there are some good youtube vids about packing.

Clothing:

everyone’s style is different but i’ve found that a couple staple wardrobe items help to pass more. smart trousers with belts always look masculine, paired with a casual tee. i’m kinda into the e-boy aesthetic at the moment but all of my favourite outfits have belts to pull it together. shirts that are too baggy are gonna swamp you, so even though i know they help with the chest bump from binding, try to wear something more flattering. h&m do some really good shirts that aren’t too baggy but loose enough to cover the bump.

This outfit of mine is causal but super masc, without having to resort to a flannel shirt and shorts. i find wearing trousers and not jeans has really helped me. jeans, even from the men’s section tend to hug parts of my body i really don’t want them to, whereas trousers (pants i guess if you’re american?) fit me properly and make my legs look longer and straighter. wear shoes that make your feet look bigger if possible. i know clothing is hard for a lot of people because obviously it costs s lot of money but these nike air force 1s are definitely the most masculine pair of shoes i own despite being a unisex design. they’re rounded at the top, and give me an extra inch of height. there are shoes in similar styles to this that aren’t branded at just normal clothes stores that will be a lot cheaper.

General:

i count this section as just other little things i’ve found that help me pass. a lot of it is body language. stand up straight and look confident even if you aren’t. look up when you walk, i know it sounds silly but it’s surprising how often i catch myself staring at the floor when i’m walking. walk with bigger strides and when you’re standing, have your feet apart and keep your arms visible so you look more confident. i get misgendered far more when ive got my arms tightly crossed in front of me and i’m hunched over. confidence radiates masculinity even if that’s sounds toxic. when you sit, manspread. cis dudes do it for a reason. do little but stereotypically masculine things like let women go through doors before you. i know this all sounds like i’m violently trying to enforce masculine gender roles but y’all understand how it feels to just want to fit in with everyone else.

this is all i could think of for now and i’m sorry if it’s super lacklustre but i tried my best :)

[lesblob]

Hi! So, I am a lesbian who just came out a couple of weeks ago! I was wondering if you could explain to me what the whole femme/butch sub culture is? I know a little bit about it and I think I might be a femme but I feel like I don't know enough about it to be sure.

So I don’t identify as butch or femme (despite being a gnc/masc-presenting lesbian—but that’s a topic for later), however, I know a decent amount about butch/femme dynamics, as well as the subculture and its history.

TW: homo/lesbophobia, misogyny, and mentions of sex, as well as mentions of rape and police brutality in the links provided.

In general, butch and femme (also spelled “fem”) are two complementary roles that some lesbians take on in their relationships and in society. Most lesbians in current times are neither, and while these roles do involve certain aesthetics (butch is masculine and femme is feminine), they are about much more than just being a feminine or masculine lesbian.

Historically, butch/femme relationships existed as a form of protection for lesbian couples. They were intended to mimic heterosexual relationships on the street and in other public places for reasons of safety. These relationships were born out of pure necessity.

Lesbian relationships resembling the butch/femme dynamic have been documented since the early 20th century (see picture), but because of the secretive nature of homosexual relationships prior to and during that time, it’s not certain in which year the butch/femme dynamic first became a thing.

However, butch/femme as part of a culture emerged later, amongst working class lesbians , in the 1930s-1940s in the United States. Back then, butches and femmes didn’t have their own subculture. They were so prevalent in the growing lesbian community that being butch or femme essentially was lesbian culture. To be accepted into the lesbian community at the time, one usually would have to adopt either the butch or the femme role, and these roles were very strict. Butches had to be dominant and aggressive. Femmes had to be passive and submissive. This was how butch/femme couples presented in public, and at this time, it was still largely a matter of safety.

The private lives of butches and femmes were vastly different from the heterosexual couples they pretended to be on the streets. Unlike heterosexual couples, femmes could have control. Butches were gentle to their femmes, and femmes were active in showing love to their butches—even if they took on “passive” roles in bed. And at home, their relationships were not about performance, or about trying to mimic heterosexuality. They were all women who saw themselves and each other as women.

Things began to change in the 1960s and 70s, when radical feminism started to gain traction. Instead of being roles that lesbians performed in order to be safe and have a sense of community and belonging with each other, so-called “lesbian feminists” started to define lesbianism as a political act instead of an innate sexual identity. They criticized butch/femme couples for replicating heterosexuality, and claimed that butches were trying to be men. Lesbian spaces began to be filled with feminist separatists who often had no desire to sexually or romantically be with women—they just wanted to escape men. Despite somewhat noble intentions, these political “lesbians” pushed butches and femmes to the sidelines, all while misappropriating the lesbian identity.

Since then, butch/femme couples have become a subculture, with only a small minority of lesbians still taking on the butch and femme roles. With the decreased necessity to appear as heterosexual couples in public spaces, the numbers of butches and femmes continue to dwindle, year after year. However, in recent times, with the emergence of the internet, more and more lesbians are learning about the history of lesbian culture and of the butch and femme roles, leading to some younger lesbians adopting the butch/femme relationship dynamic as a way of preserving lesbian culture and history.

That is a brief summary of the butch/femme subculture and what those terms mean in a traditional sense (though some people no longer adhere to the traditional definitions of butch and femme, and use the terms much more loosely). This only touches up on the very basics of butch/femme history and how they existed as a dichotomy. There is also the interpretation of rejection vs subversion regarding how butches and femmes interact with femininity, respectively, and other terminology related to butch/femme culture exist as well, such as stone butch and high femme.

Here are some great resources on butch/femme culture and also some great posts on Tumblr about butches and femmes:

- Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg

- The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader by Joan Nestle

- https://femmebabes.tumblr.com/post/185824651157/what-does-being-a-femme-mean-to-you-ive-been

- https://butchfemmelove.tumblr.com/post/183891222157/idk-if-yall-will-know-the-answer-to-this-but-im

- https://lesbiandany.tumblr.com/post/167501816712/there-seems-to-be-this-alarmingly-common

You can also explore my #butch.txt and #femme.txt tags for text posts on butches and/or femmes.

Hope this helps!