#because i'm a sensitive person

[hellenhighwater]

Hellen, how do you know how to do so many things? I know how to do a few things but I look at your stuff and every time I'm like "damn. I wish I could do that"

oh, I just do them.

It's after 1:30 am, so you get the existential answer. The fun thing about personhood is you get to just be whatever. You can't necessarily do whatever--money and laws are things, unfortunately, and you only get so much control over the opportunities available to you. But you can sort of just throw yourself down on the anvil of life and hammer yourself into whatever shape you want. Ideally the process of it drives out some flaws as you go, but sometimes also you take an impurity and make yourself stronger with it.

I am, still, a person who is terrified of failure; of incorrectness; of being wrong. And there is nothing to do with fear except shatter it with blunt force, and so I line myself up against failure again and again and again. I will try. I must; or the fear of failure wins, and I must keep trying after I fail or I have failed utterly. I fear failure, and therefore I take it as a challenge. I must do what I think I cannot. And you know what? More often than not, I can.

I have a weird and wandering skillset because I make myself try things, knowing full well that I will remember for decades every time someone saw me be less than instantly successful, because the only way I know to get better is to batter down the dross of my own fear. That's the deal. I'm not doing anything that nobody has done before. I know it's all possible. I just have to be the sort of person that does it. And it gets easier every time. If the question is can it be done and the answer is yes, then the next question is can I be the one to do it, and the answer is I want to be.

Every time I fail my way over and over to eventual success, trying again the next time is less scary; every time I have a broader base of skills to carry to the next challenge. I'm not unusually talented, just stubborn as hell, and I've lived long enough on I have to do what scares me that honestly, not that much scares me anymore.

If you keep failing long enough, it turns out that you just get really good at problem solving, and figuring out unconventional ways to reach your goals. It's not about a special secret concoction of skills, it's about persistence, and hammering away until you've taken a mess and made it into something you think is worth keeping. It's not easy, but it is simple.

Also I have incredibly strong unmedicated ADHD. But I sort of assume that's glaringly obvious.

[mozzaremi]

taking so much creative liberties with the pixels i'm given

[canisalbus]

AU where there is some sort of zombie-like (maybe something like a rabid vampirism?)

Where one of the boys is bit/infected and desperately wants the other to join them, while also wanting to resist?

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[kooldewd123]

why are we always stuck with centro every time something like this happens. i mean i know the answer is that they're the only ones idiotic enough to publicly compile everything on twitter of all places. but ugggh is it too much to ask to have someone who actually fact checks their shit instead of just relying on their name recognition to regurgitate whatever they find for cheap and easy clout

[royalarchivist]

I won't be posting a clip of it, but for those who are keeping up with Arkanis, Araldo (the current villain in Arkanis) just seemingly destroyed Denix and Amora, the little green and purple ghosties.

(Timestamp: 5h 11m for Pac's stream)

[volivolition]

DAY 10: EMPATHY - Lost little pearls of light. Tiny fires in the dark.

YAY YIPPEE a collab piece with @euclydya!! it drew the LOVELY linework and i finished the colors/shading!! wah im incredibly happy i got to do an art collab with y'all, thank you so much my beloveds :D!! <333 <222

without overlay!!

[the-insouciant-scientist]

I want to gently clarify something real quick: Harper's memory loss and status as a system isn't a tragedy. (I can't promise how concise I'll be here but I just. Want to talk a bit about this while my mind's on it)

There are already so many stories out there that are downright awful regarding systems and amnesia, focusing almost solely on narratives of "oh wouldn't this be fucked up? Wouldn't this be awful? Wouldn't it hurt?" and I just. I'll be honest, kinda hate that! Sure, it can be rough to live with sometimes (speaking from experience) but it's not the massive, terrible burden that so many stories say. That's why I put so much effort into writing Harper as I do. They're honest about the annoyances and lost paperwork, sure, but... they're happy. Doing their best from day to day, with a small group of others nearby that care enough to hold the memories that are too much to bear.

With all they've gone through, they wouldn't be the same kind, thoughtful person if they weren't a system. They wouldn't exist as themself at all, actually. It would just be Isabelle, driven to violence by guilt and rage and fear, with the knowledge that no one had ever cared enough to protect her when she needed it most. But that's not what happened. She didn't have anyone outside of herself who was there for her, no, but her system formed to fill that void and she was Loved. And that love passed on to Harper when they formed too. They've experienced trauma, yes. They've known tragedy and pain intimately. But their system and memory loss aren't any of those things. It's the reason they were able to survive them, and come out the other side still singing. It's not a tragedy. It's hope.

[karamazovposting]

To me the most fucked up thing in the whole novel is the people at Dmitri's trial laughing at Ilyusha's father, reading that part genuinely made me feel sick and I'm not being hyperbolic, it was hard to read for me.

That poor man had been made fun of for being publicly humiliated and beaten by Dmitri and given a demeaning nickname that stuck for months, his twelve year old child is slowly dying of a horrible disease, he breaks down crying testifying at the trial of the man who had publicly humiliated and beaten him that he attended disheveled and drunk because he's obviously going through a lot, and they laugh at him. What the fuck. That's seriously fucked up and cruel and Ivan was right, even in his delirium, when he said those people just wanted to witness a freakshow to have a good laugh.

[clowndensation]

ideal romanstewy dynamic is like "ken and stewy are off going to college parties while roman sulks about getting left behind, up until stewy is like "c'mon, he's cool. you're cool, right?" and convinces ken to bring him with. and roman tries to play it off like that didn't mean anything to him, but he also kind of starts perking up whenever stewy is around like a lovestruck puppy (which he WILL deny if confronted about, because that's literally ken's cringe ass friend who chooses to hang out with him. on purpose. lmao.) and eventually he does grow out of his crush, because he wasn't joking, that literally is ken's cringe ass friend. except sometimes stewy does something nice to him and it makes roman's insides flop over in what's probably annoyance but is also definitely not, and so it's whatever. he can deign to acknowledge stewy's existence if they're in the same room. out of necessity to share custody over ken. or whatever."

[lovvecherrymotion]

i've been having a nice weekend so far and some posts have caused me a bit of anxiety so... no matter what photos get released next, i hope everyone is respectful of the boys, damon (and other fans). this is clearly an important thing for everyone involved. whatever they chose to release, i'm sure it's something they believe in and they're proud of

[crowley-exploder]

It's late thinking hours and im very sleepy but hear me out, occasional possession as a love language

[canisalbus]

I'm sure you get this a lot but because my cousin and I love that one Danny Trejo action comedy, I always have to snap my brain into the right position when I read Machete's name. Maybe I should draw them both chilling

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[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all! I didn't get many requests for particular pride flags or pride plushies this pride month, but I did get a few requests for an intersex pride something. The intersex pride flag (like a few other flags) is more difficult for me to make, because a symbol is harder to incorporate into an oddly-shaped plushie than just stripes, and the circle will have to be* appliqued by hand so I'd prefer to limit the number of circles. So far, I have three ideas: 1. one of my pride bees (a very round bee consisting of three stripes) that's yellow with a purple stripe in the middle. There wouldn't be a flat ring, but the stripe would kind of form a ring? 2. a yellow dog plushie with a purple ring around its eye like the dog from Little Rascals. Idk how well known that dog is anymore or if it would be recognizable, but it's a one-applique option? I could also include purple patches on the back that are not rings, like the dog's markings in the show (in the movie? to be honest, I just remember the ring around the dog's eye) 3. a blue ringed octopus but the rings are purple. I think this would be awesome but I don't want to applique that many rings by hand and haven't found a fabric with the rings at quite the right scale and density for this project, so this is probably a longer-term one but I do want to make it eventually Do y'all have opinions on any of these, or any other ideas? For intersex pride plushies or for other pride plushies, I've had some work and some family things come up this month that mean I have not gotten as much sewing done this month as I wanted to, and I do love making pride plushies and would love more suggestions *yes, there are a few other ways I could possibly do that, but functionally with the way I make things it'd be by hand

[thousandyearphantombunker]

"just give them an aac device!"

"just teach them sign language"

"body language and facial expressions alone are good enough for communicating what you need"

Nonononono f*!k off. Stop acting like nonverbal people have easy solutions to their lack of verbality. Not everyone can use an aac device- some people struggle with spelling or can't spell at all, some people have motor skills issues that makes typing a nightmare that takes a long time, some can't articulate themselves without outside help. Learning sign is hard if you again have motor skills issues or struggle to make facial expressions that convey what your feeling (flat affect applies to more than just a person's voice- some people really struggle to make facial expressions and have stilted or strange body language- you people can understand why autistic people get burnt out from masking all day- you know often having to control their body language and make certain facial expressions etc yet you can't understand why nonverbal autistics can't just learn sign- a language very heavy on facial expressions and expressive body language?) also again spelling and motor skill issues are a pain and also a lot of families with deaf or nonverbal children refuse to learn sign for said children and I'm sorry in day to day life I haven't met many people who speak sign- yeah you can move to a community with a lot of deaf or nonverbal people that use sign but that's not always possible and its very limiting. And do I even have to explain the third one- autistic body language is confusing to neurotypicals and I hate the stereotype that its just so blunt and obvious/better than neurotypical communication- maybe that's what its like for you and your 'smart sheldon cooper/Wednesday Addams' style autism but not every autistic person 'says exactly what they mean' often times autistic people struggle with semantics and articulating sentences that make any sense! and all these misunderstandings surrounding stimming are annoying to!- spinning can be a 'happy' stim but it can also mean your overwhelmed or understimulated, a lot of people with autism have voices that lack inflections, mix that in with being unable to use words and no it does not help communicate their needs- f!*k off with acting like its easy not all autistic people who are nonverbal can spell, not all autistic people w are nonverbal have good motor skills and body language alone is never enough to convey a persons needs. Before anyone comes after me yes Sign is body language but its also actual symbols and can convey full thoughts and ideas and sentences and also body language is hard for a lot of autistic people to convey like stated above.

Not every form autistic communication is being 'logical' and unoffended because 'we're just more logical than those superfluous, shallow neurotypicals that let their feelings control them and are never direct about what they want-we value facts and logic unlike those butthurt neurotypicals' and being overly blunt- no a lot of autistic people find that communication is messy and the ways they can communicate are ineffective and your 'logical, facts dont care about your feelings' style of communication isn't as amazing as you think it is. Stop speaking over nonverbal autistics- their is no real perfect solution to them not being able to speak. And I'm gonna say it- while not all nonverbal people are low functioning or high support needs or whatever the new term is-being nonverbal is a massive disadvantage and having your disability be visible like that is scary in many situations and being unable to communicate your needs can make it impossible to meet your needs-

[elektroyu]

Kinda gross? personal things under cut

Got an appointment for next Friday where someone comes to my home to assess my care level, basically if I'm in need of some help in everyday life. I do hope that this gets approved, because I'm barely able to do some cooking for myself, bare minimum of washing and the dishes and the utter bare minimum of other housekeeping stuff... but that's about it. I can't even take showers every day like I used to, I take a full bath once a week and other than that have to make do with brushing teeth and washing my face every day. I definitely need someone to help with groceries especially since my sister won't be able to take care of that for me forever. I need help physically getting to doctor's appointments and such, since I'm not able to drive myself nor use public transport anymore. And tbh, it would be nice to have a cleaner apartment 😅 I do spot clean here and there if it's really necessary and I'm a rather organized person so my apartment doesn't look, like, totally run down or anything, but I can't do a normal cleaning routine regularly anymore (like your usual once a week vacuuming/ mopping, changing sheets every month and stuff like that). I can do these things myself like 2-3 times a year max. Sure it won't kill me or anything and the cleaning is honestly the least of my concerns, but it would be beneficial to my mental health too to live in cleaner surroundings.

Ugh. Keep your fingers crossed for me! 🙈

[nearestend]

sorry but i'm going to need everyone to stop writing autistic / "gifted" (in quotes because i hate that term) characters who were little baby geniuses that skipped grades and graduated as valedictorian and were every teacher's pet because it's the most unrealistic shit ever and kind of just perpetuates this ableist misconception when in reality most autistic / gifted kids are more likely to be abused and exploited and bullied (both by peers and teachers), especially if they are not rich and especially if they are not white