#because i’m in need of some comfort music purchases

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

i may or may not have just spent too much money on arctic monkeys albums under the guise of self care (again)

[justmeinadaze]

I'm In Control: 5 Years Later (Steddie X You)

Warnings: Pornstars Steddie (Daddy Steve & Sir Eddie) X Porn Agent Sub Fem Reader, SMUT, dp, praising, light hair pulling, after care of course, FLUFF, they love each other, mentions of kids, a bit more emphasis on the readers relationship with TJ.

ANGST! ANGST! ANGST!

Protective Steddie! Reader gets assaulted and hurt by the head of a studio she has a meeting with. The attack itself isn't described in detail. Just mentions of the after math (gets a cut on her head). She mentions feeling uncomfortable with the questions the man asks and tells them how he hit her before she ran out of there. Definite trigger warning for anyone who has been in a similar situation.

TJ and Steddie get revenge showing what happens when you "hurt their girl". Reader briefly discusses how the situation reminds her of her life with her religious parents and feeling stuck or trapped. They remind her that she's safe and they will always protect her <3.

Brief mentions of Steddie's fear of being a father. Very brief.

I think that's it.

Word Count: 5493

Full Series Here/ Donate to Me <3

As you watch both men on set, you can’t help but bite your lip as you try to stifle the moan that wants to break free. 

It had been 5 years since TJ let you go to start your own agency and you took off running fairly quickly. You started small in the room the boys had created for you as a work area, managing your three clients as you normally had. As soon as you had enough money and more people to manage, you were able to hire another agent. Someone you vetted personally to make sure they would take good care of their clients and not abuse their trust for financial gain. 

After a couple years, you purchased you own floor within a building and renovated it to fit your needs. Currently, you had four agents with 5 clients a piece and you always made sure everyone was comfortable and helping where you could while still managing the men you loved. Avery trusted your judgement when you suggested he work with one of the new people you hired but Eddie and Steve were steadfast on the notion that they didn’t want anyone but you looking after them. 

Over the past couple years because of how much they were making, they were able to cut down on how many projects they worked and when they did do them it was triple what they made financially in the past. Eddie was able to focus more on his music and found a good fan base on social media that seemed to genuinely care about what he was playing. Steve seemed to push more towards the technical aspect of films with his free time, asking photographers a ton of questions to learn what he could. For his birthday you bought him a camera and he utilized your gift to do photoshoots for some of the newer actors and actresses who needed headshots to find work. 

You still came to the shoots when you could especially when they were filming a scene together like today. As Steve slammed his release into the man below him, Eddie spilled onto the sheets in front of him while his tongue continued to rapidly flick at the clit in front of his face till the actress trembled and screamed obnoxiously in pleasure. 

“Cut! Good job everybody. That’s wrap for the day and I’ll call you guys if we need any reshoots.”

“Thanks Cal.”, Eddie beamed as they both sauntered your way. “Baaaaby.”

It was no longer a secret within the industry that were dating the hottest stars in porn especially now that you were your own agent and you appreciated being able to have regular couple PDA instead of hiding your relationship. 

“You guys did so good.”, you smile as you tilt up to kiss both their lips. “Are you ready to head home?”

“Yeah, we just need to grab our things. You don’t need to go by the office or anything?”, Steve asks.

“Hm not tonight.”, you answer as you watch them get dressed near their bags. “I’m still waiting for a call from Diamond Studios. The owner has phenomenal productions and I would love to get some clients in that door.”

“They’ll call, baby. They’d be insane not to.”, the metalhead praises as they take your hands in theirs and you head towards your car. 

***

Steve softly grins at you as your eyebrows scrunch together while sorting through some of your work documents in your shared bed. They were always attracted to your work ethic and need to make sure everything goes smoothly. They experienced it first-hand since day one and it was one of their favorite things about you. 

Dipping towards his nightstand, he grabs his camera, focusing it and taking a picture of you without you realizing until you hear the little click sound. 

“Steve.”, you giggle. “What are you doing? I’m a mess!”

“I think you look beautiful; wearing one of Eddie’s shirts with your hair up in that ‘I’m trying to focus’ messy hair bun.”

Rolling your eyes, you lightly kick him with your foot as you both laugh and the metalhead tosses a grin your way. 

“Hey. Come here, sweetheart, and look at this.”

As you curl up closer to Eddie’s side, he lifts his arm to wrap around your shoulders and adjusts the laptop he had been staring at for a while so you could take a look. On the screen was a gorgeous one-story, four-bedroom house with a lot of square feet that expanded the length of what seemed like a property near the beach. 

While flipping through the individual photos, both men commentated on every one. 

“That would be a good home office for you, honey. You can keep the window open and listen to the waves.”

“I can use this room for my guitars and recording when I work on my music.”, Eddie adds. “This basement area here Steve can use for his photography developing and equipment.”

“Oh, baby, look. We could sit on that patio at night and just relax.”, the other boy grins as he leans against your bicep.

“It is a beautiful home.”, you smile. “Whose is it?”

“Ours.” Their eyes watch as you sit up and furrow your eyebrows in confusion. “If you really do like it, of course.”

“Eddie… this is a beach front property. It’s most likely super expensive.”

“Not super expensive but it definitely had a price tag. With Steve and my income alone we were able to put a good chunk of money down. I just got the email from the realtor and they said we could move in within a couple of months.”

“But…I…” Your mind continued to reel as you tried to comprehend what was happening. “We don’t need thatmuch space. You know I can work from anywhere in the house and what would that additional room be for?”

“We were thinking our kids.”

You blinked and exhaled heavily at his words.

“Baby, Steve and I have been thinking about this for a while. You’ve been with us through everything for the last 5 years and our porn careers are at the highest they’ve ever been.  Now we want to experience the rest of our lives with you and that includes a family.”

“Not right now of course but whenever you’re ready, baby girl.”, Steve coos as he brushes some of your hair behind your ear so they can see more of your face.

“I didn’t think either of you would want to have kids with me.” Genuinely taken aback by your statement, they sit up and turn their bodies more to face your direction. “I’m sorry… I know it’s been so long since what happened at the wedding but…” At your mention of the event that caused them to lose you for a couple of weeks, they couldn’t help but hang their heads. “… I know you both have come so far when it comes to me and our relationship but since we never really talked about having kids I just assumed after what you told me back then that—”

“We’d be too afraid to have them.”, Eddie finishes for you. “I can understand why you would think that but, honestly sweetheart, when I look at you and think about having a son or daughter I don’t feel any fear.”

“You showed us we can be good men and we know with you by our side, we’d be good fathers.”

Smiling at their answer, you tilt towards them and give them each a soft kiss on the lips. 

“Yeah you would. Ok, let’s do it. I think it’s the perfect home for us and our future little family.”

###################

“Steve Harrington why are you taking my picture?”, Eddie chuckles as he strums his guitar.

“Hey, I take pictures of everyone and you’re giving me a good photo op right now.”, the other man grins as he snaps another. 

“I think you’re just bored because Y/N’s in her meeting.”, the metalhead teased. 

This morning you had gotten a call from the studio you had been waiting to hear from and left in the afternoon to meet with him at his office. Unless they had a gig you scheduled for them, both men usually did their own thing around the house until you came back home or visited you in your office like they used to. 

“Hey baby.”, Steve coos as he turns to face the front door when he hears it open before his features fall and Eddie watches him run forward, getting up to hastily follow. “Y/N, what happened?!”

As they skidded to where you were kneeling on the floor, the long-haired boy cupped your cheeks in his palms as his eyes scanned over the blood coming from a cut on your temple near your eyebrow.

“I’ll get the kit.”, the other man declared as he ran towards the bedroom. 

“It’s ok, sweetheart. Everything’s ok. You’re safe now.”

Steve slides to the floor again and tears through the box, finding what he needs as he places the cotton on you wound making you wince.

“I know. I know, baby girl, I’m sorry.”

Carefully, Eddie reaches for your blouse but you flinch as you try to lift your arms. Not wanting to cause you anymore pain, the metalhead rips your shirt with his hands and his jaw tightens when he sees the indent of where your shirt had been yanked against your skin. 

“What happened, Y/N? Did that fucker hurt you?”

Instead of answering, you tackled your arms around him as you sobbed in his embrace.

***

Without saying a word, Steve opened the door to allow TJ into their home. Your former boss took in the situation before him as he nodded a silent hello to Eddie who was sitting beside you on the couch. 

While you were in the shower they called TJ thinking he may be able to get you to tell them what happened since you hadn’t said a word since you came home. He had known you way before you met them and you told them once you thought of him like a father figure so they knew you felt safe with him. 

Grabbing one of the dining room chairs, he placed it in front of you and took a seat. 

“The guys told me you three were looking into a house by the beach. Good because this house is way too small for you, angel.”, he chuckles as he nonchalantly glances around the living room. “You were always meant for bigger, better things.”

Your bottom lip quivers at his compliment and Eddie tenderly pets your head as Steve’s worried eyes continue to rake over you from his place against the wall. 

“I also heard you were trying to get in touch with the owner of Diamond Studios. The guy who started it was a good man before he retired. I never got to meet the man he passed it off to. But you did this afternoon, didn’t you, honey?”

As you nod, you wipe your eyes with your fingers as the tears begin to fall. 

“Did you go to the studio?” He blinks and exhales with a bit of relief when you nod again. “Good. I always said, ‘Never meet anyone at their house alone no matter what they say.’”

“H-He lets his employees go at 2pm.”, you whisper.

“Her meeting was at 1:30.”, Steve growled as his fists clenched under his crossed arms. 

“When did you start noticing something wasn’t right?”, TJ asked in a comforting tone. 

“He asked me questions that w-w-weren’t about my agents. He asked if I’ve ever been in front of the camera and what I enjoyed… I told him if he wasn’t interested in my agents and their clients then I had to leave.”

“Good, good. Then what happened?” As you began to stutter over your words, your former boss grabs your hands and softly holds them in his. “Take your time, angel.”

“H-H-He grabbed my arm when I tried to get up and s-s-said that he knows I want this because…”

“Because you’re with us.”, Eddie finished when you paused. 

“We fought and he hit me…”

“Ok, honey. Is that everything?” When you nodded again all three men sighed in relief. “You’re safe, baby, ok?”

You blinked as your eyes met his. TJ always called you angel but only ever called you baby when that protective dad mode kicked in. 

Rising to his feet, he tenderly kissed your forehead before gesturing towards the kitchen for the other men to follow. 

“Do you know where he is right now?”, Steve grumbled trying to control his temper. 

“No but I can find out. Give me 10 minutes.”

His eyes followed you as you ran after both men as they disappeared down the hallway to the bedroom. 

“Take me with you.”

“Stay here and we’ll be back in about an hour or so.”, Eddie commanded as if he hadn’t heard you.

“I’m not waiting here while the men I love go out there and defend me. We do things together.”

“This isn’t a fucking date, Y/N. Now, do as we say and stay here.”

“NO, DADDY!” They paused, turning to face you as you screamed their way. “No. That asshole hurt me. I deserve to see you do whatever you two are planning on doing.” Your defiant features began to falter slightly as the tears began to fall again and the metalhead stepped forward to caress your cheek. “I won’t get in the way, Sir, I promise.”

You saw it in their eyes the more you spoke. The titles were in the driver’s seat the moment you stepped through the door. Someone had the audacity to hurt you and they were going to do whatever needed to be done to not only show you that you were safe but to show the outside world what happens when you hurt what’s theirs. 

“His name is Bryce Hunter. He’s at a party at some swanky house downtown.”, TJ rolls his eyes. “I can get you in and then after I deliver my message you can deliver yours.”

##################

“Hey, TJ! How are things going, old man.”

All three men were on alert but especially Eddie and Steve as their angry eyes took in their surroundings. Covered in the metalhead’s leather jacket, you kept your head on a swivel as you searched, trying to help them find who they were all looking for. 

“Not so good, Trent. Do you know where Bryce Hunter is?”

“Pfft, that asshole.” The man rolls his eyes as he points towards the stairs. “I saw him go upstairs with one of the other actresses.”

After patting his back as if to say thank you, TJ heads that way and begins opening doors with you by his side, murmuring apologies along the way to every unfortunate couple he caught in the act. At the last door he banged open, a man and a woman hastily jump apart as you back up and take Eddie’s hand in yours. 

“That’s him.”

“Miss, go ahead and head back downstairs. Trust us, you don’t want to have anything to do with this guy here.”

As she straightens up her dress, her wide eyes meet yours as she takes in the bandage on your face. Nodding her head, you can tell she knows and understands, squeezing your palm on her way out for emphasis before closing the door after she leaves. 

“The fuck is—”

TJ’s fist hits Bryce’s face hard and as he falls to the floor you back out of the away as your boys step forward to stand at his side. 

“Hey Bryce. My name is TJ. I don’t think we’ve met yet but I assure you that you are never going to forget my face.” He punches him again and grabs his collar, yanking him up right. “You see that girl over there? Not only did I train her to be the agent and company owner she is today but I’d like to think of her as part of my family. You hurt someone in my family, Bryce.”

“I-I-I—”

“Congratulations, we’re going to make an example out of you tonight. If you or any other person even thinks about touching Y/N Y/L/N, we’ll be by to visit again and we won’t be so nice. Most people in the industry here already know that but just in case can you double check?”

“Y-Y-Yes, sir. I’m…I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“Oh, Bryce. Yes, you did.” TJ rises to his full height and gestures towards the man on the floor. “All yours, gentlemen.”

“Wait! Wait, I thought—”

“You thought wrong.”, Steve growled as he grabbed the man’s collar and punched him hard.

Your former boss gave you a small smile as you silently thanked him before closing the door behind him.

***

The entire car ride back home was silent but every mile that passed you felt the energy get thicker and thicker with need. The way their dominance oozed while protecting you drove you insane especially when they spoke.

“You had the fucking audacity to put your hands on any woman but especially ours.”, Eddie grumbled as he kicked Bryce’s stomach. “She deserves respect.”

“I’m sorry! I’m so fucking sorry.”, he cried. 

“Oh no, little boy. Are you crying? Are you scared? Probably about as scared as she was when you told her she was a whore and hit her across the face.”, Steve seethed through clenched teeth. “If I were you, I would beg her for forgiveness because your fate is in her hands.”

Bryce’s wide eyes flicked between you and the other two men. 

“You don’t want that up to us. If we had it our way, you’d be in the fucking hospital by now. What do you think, baby? Has he been punished enough?”

When all you do is glare his way, he begins to plead desperately. 

“Please, Y/N. I’m so sorry. Nothing like this will ever happen again. I promise. I learned my lesson.”

“You’re right, it won’t. I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure your studio is shut down and you never hurt anyone else again.”

“NO! Y/N, please, I can’t—”

When he ran forward, Eddie grabbed his collar and threw him back to the ground. 

“You should have thought about that before doing what you did and we’re going to help her follow through with that.” 

As he kicked him again, your hand reached out to grab his arm. 

“That’s enough, Sir.” His chest puffed out as he continued to heavily inhale and exhale, desperately wanting to hurt this man more. Facing Steve, his equally rage filled eyes seem to calm as they meet your softer ones. “I think we’ve punished him enough this way, Daddy.”

Blinking, he curtly nodded and took your other hand as you three walked back out into the party. 

Pausing in the doorway of your house, your palm tugged their arms causing them to stop and look your way. You had closed your eyes to try and suffocate the tears that had begun to fall, frustrated at the feeling of being helpless.

“You’re not weak.”, Eddie murmured as he stepped towards you. “What happened wasn’t your fault. I’ve known you for almost six years and I’m 100% positive that you went in there was the same strength and power you always carry. Don’t let a fucker like him make you think you’re anything but.”

Taking your hands in his, he rests his forehead against yours. 

“You’re also not weak for being scared. Someone tried to belittle and hurt you. He put his hands on you…”, he growled, closing his mouth as he exhaled through his nose making you cup his face in your palms. 

“Is it werid that…I was more afraid for you? I don’t want you to get hurt or lose everything because of me…”

“Baby girl…we would give up everything willingly for you if it meant keeping you happy and safe. You think we care about our fucking careers or anything else more than you? No, little miss. If we ever lost you…” As Steve’s eyes close and his head tilts, you quickly jump into his arms as he holds you tightly. “Fucking asshole is lucky we didn’t fucking kill him.”

Your lips almost desperately crash to his as the needy energy within you implodes. Steve blindly carries you towards the nearest flat service he can find and places you on the kitchen counter as you hastily tug at his belt buckle trying to free his cock from its confinement. 

It’s a bit manic the way you pull off your shorts and panties while clinging to his collar to bring him as close to you as possible. You hadn’t even removed Eddie’s jacket loving the heavy comfort it brought you but you needed more. Spitting into your own palm, Steve groaned as you stroked along his length before slowly guiding him into your core. 

His large hand takes hold of your lower back, bringing you closer to the edge of the counter as he rolls his hips at a needy pace. Your arms wrapped around him as he rested his head in the nook between your neck and shoulders. With every slap of his hips, his warm breath would warm your skin as he panted out a groan. 

“I love you, Daddy, so much.” In response, Steve’s lips attached to your throat as his tongue grazed your flesh. “Thank you for protecting me and taking care of me.”

At your praise, his rhythm increased as he pounded his cock deeper into your cunt eliciting a loud mewl that had you biting into his shoulder. 

“Fuck.”, he whimpered as his fingers threaded through your hair and pulled lightly as he felt your body tremble against his as you came. 

Tilting your head back, his lips sloppily kissed yours and you hummed at the taste before you felt him back away and ring covered fingers gripped your thighs as you were lifted once more.

Eddie had already removed his shirt and as your nails dragged down his chest he couldn’t help but moan as he carried you halfway down the hallway before stopping to press your back against the wall. 

Just as you had done with Steve, you circled your limbs around his neck and the metalhead kept one hand on you as he choppily pulled down his shorts just enough for his cock to spring free. Ever the master of his craft, Eddie utilized his hips to guide himself inside you and adjusted you around his waist. 

“Mmph—I love you, Sir. I a-always feel safe with you, baby. Thank you. I’m so happy I belong to you both.”

His grunts had your eyes rolling closed as he continuously hit that sensitive spot inside you that only they could every reach. That desperate feeling washed over you again and you held on to him with all the strength you had as your maneuvered your hips to meet his animal-like thrusts with ones of your own. 

As the coil snapped, you rode out your high and whimpered his title till the ecstasy subsided. Pushing his face into your neck, you petted his head as your soft voice hit both their ears. 

“I didn’t get scared until he grabbed my shirt. I thought I could talk my way out of the situation like I had done before when I was uncomfortable but when I started to leave and he grabbed me…” When your voice cracks, Eddie leans back so he can see your face as your eyes meet his own. “I know it sounds dramatic but when he hit my head and I hit the floor…all I could think about was you and Steve. How you’d be alone and hurting if I didn’t…make it back home.”

As you sobbed, the metalhead pressed you tightly to his chest and carried you to your bedroom with the other man close behind. After fully undressing you and laying you between them, their lips gently kissed your skin as their hands pet your head or rubbed along your arms. 

After lifting one of your legs over his waist, Eddie and Steve guided themselves into your body and a heavy exhale mixed with a mewl left your lips. This is how it was supposed to be; the three of you together. 

Between them and tangled in their arms is where you felt the safest. 

“I’m so sorry this ha-happened, sweetheart.”, Eddie groaned. “Something like that will never—mmm—never happen again.”

“Because now they know…”, Steve followed. “…what will happen when they fuck with our girl.”

“Ours.”, you repeat as your fingers hold the man’s hand while cupping the metalhead’s cheek with your other. 

“Yeah, little miss. Ours. Fuck.”, the long-haired boy whimpered as his lips met yours and both their rhythms matched as they pounded into you, their cocks abusing all of your sensitive areas as you became putty in their grasp. 

“M’gonna cum, Sir. Please, baby, j-just like that. Can I—”

Eddie’s aggressive nodding cut off your question and your face pressed into his shoulder as you let go, clenching around him as you came. He soon followed with a strained sounding grunt as fingers tangled in your hair and his hips sputtered as he filled you up. 

“C-Cum…Cum, Daddy. Please…I need you to.”

Steve’s sweaty body presses flat against yours as he rolls his hips roughly till you feel his release warm your insides. 

Nobody moved as you listened to their breathing slowly return to normal. After a while, they carefully pulled out of you and turned on the shower, waiting for the steam to rise before stepping side. A small smirk painted your lips as they descended on to the tile floor with you in tow, choosing not to even ask this time if you wanted to sit. 

Steve delicately ran a rag over your body but your hand abruptly grabbing his gave him pause as you looked over his knuckles. 

“Does it hurt?”, you ask in a curious, little voice that tells them you haven’t fully exited the headspace yet. 

“No, honey. I mean, it stings a little but probably nothing compared what that asshole is feeling.”

Before you can get the chance, Eddie flashes you his hands to show you the minimal cuts he was now donning on his own knuckles. 

“My rings took a lot of the impact. When I get into a fight I usually take them off to be fair but this fucker hurt our girl. He doesn’t get fair.”

You nod as your eyes fell and you curl up into his chest. 

“What are you thinking about, pretty girl?”

“I…I didn’t like the way he made me feel vulnerable. It…made me feel like…when I was a kid and my parents would scold me and my brother about being evil. He kind of…mentally pushed back…to a place I long let go of…”

Turning off the water, both men helped get you dry and placed you on the counter by the sink so they could look over your own wounds. 

“We can understand that. When your vulnerable with us, you’re still in control. You know we would never hurt you. With your family and then Bryce…you felt trapped.”, Eddie explained, validating your feelings as he brushed your hair away from your face so he could place a new bandage on your cut. “Don’t ever forget, sweetheart, that you always have us. No matter where you are, you’ll never be trapped or stuck because we’ll come save you.”

“Kind of sounds like we’re the mob.”, Steve chuckles as he watches his friend cover the gauze with a band aid before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead.

“Hey now, Stevie.”, Eddie responds with a fake gangster voice that makes you giggle. “This is our baby girl and NO ONE hurts our girl or else they swim with da fishes, ya hear?”

You’re still laughing as he lifts you in his arms and carries you back to bed. 

#############

3 Months Later

“Lucky, slut! Then again, I can never sit still long enough to have a home let alone one by the beach. Lol. It’s a beautiful view, Y/N. I can’t wait to come and visit.”

You grin at your brother’s text as you place the phone down on the table and lean back in your chair to admire your nighttime view of the beach setting in front of you. You three, TJ, and Avery had spent all day moving your things from their house to this new one as well as any of the new furniture you bought on the guy’s instance for the new space to feel more like a home. 

“Alright, I think that’s everything. Now you just need to have a homecoming party to christen it.”, your former boss beams as he takes a seat beside you and takes a sip from the beer in his hand. 

“I believe it’s called housewarming, not homecoming.”, you giggle. 

“Eh, tomato ta-ma-toe.”, he shrugs before gesturing towards your phone. “I, uh, heard that Bryce Hunter was fired from Diamond Studios and a new head took over the company.”

“Huh. You don’t say.”, you playfully pout as you tilt your head. 

“Yeah, some kid is in charge of the studio now. Avery something, I think.”

“What did I do?”, the man inquires as he takes a seat near you. 

“Look, I just made a call to some people and suggested an amazing young man who I knew could handle a business like that and would be respectful of all the people in the productions.”

“Oh, you’re talking about Y/N getting me the job of head of Diamond Studios.”, Avery giggled as TJ jokingly rolled his eyes. 

“Nothing gets past you, kid.”

“Oh, don’t act like you aren’t proud of him. We both know you have a kind heart, old man.”

When your eyes meet his, you deliver him a soft smile silently thanking him for everything he’s done for you and in return he reaches over and tenderly pats the back of your hand. 

“Shit! Steve, get your camera. TJ’s showing affection.”, Eddie shouts as he tosses a pizza box onto the table as your boss lets you go and sighs. 

“See? This is why I don’t tell you people anything.”

Steve lifts you out of your seat to take it and pull you on to his lap. 

“Thank you guys for helping us move. We really appreciate it.”

While everyone talks and enjoys the meal, you take in your little chosen family. Your parents always believed that certain behaviors were sinful yet from an early age none of it made sense to you. To you, these four men were angels and you had no idea where you would be without them. They made you feel loved unconditionally and you trusted them with every fiber of your being. You felt safe and protected which is something you never had growing up.

“Hey, you. Everything ok?”, Eddie asked later that night while you were in bed staring out the sliding glass door that led to the patio outside. 

“Yeah. I’m just thinking about how lucky I am to have you two and the guys.”, you sigh pleasantly, giggling when tattooed arms wrap around your tummy and spin you to the middle of the mattress where Steve lays on the opposite side. 

“Hey. You deserve this.”, he grins as he gestures absently around the room. “You deserve to be happy.”

“So do you.”, you smile back as you kiss his lips. 

“Trust us, princess. We’ve never been happier. You changed our lives, baby, and for the better.”

Tilting your head back you kiss the metalhead’s lips as well as he yanks you closer to his chest. 

“Speaking of ‘baby’. When, um, when did you guys want to…I mean when were you thinking…?”, you stutter making their grins grow. 

“Whenever you want, little miss.”

“I can schedule an appointment with my doctor to get off the birth control but whose, um,…”

“Oh my God, Eddie look. The porn agent is blushing at the word sperm. That’s so cute.”, Steve teases as you cover your face with your palm trying to hide.

“No, sweetheart, no don’t hide. Harrington and I planned this out. We’re going to duke it out battle of the death style and whoever is still standing gets to give you sperm.”

They laugh harder when you lightly elbow him in the side and your cheeks get even redder. 

“It’s ok, baby. We were thinking since we’d both be dad you know we didn’t need to know. We can just both try… no matter who helped create them they’re ours.”

“Ok. Whatever makes you comfortable.”, you smile, turning red all over again when they both kiss your cheeks. 

###################

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[winchesterwild78]

On the Ninth Day of Christmas

Master List

Characters: Beau Arlen x Reader, Cassie, Jenny

Warnings: fluff, SMUT (not too heavy), angst, language

A/N: Day 9 of my holiday fics. I hope you enjoy this short series. I’m really excited about it. All work is my own, please don’t take it. Reblogs and likes are welcomed. 

I do not own the rights to the characters I use, these will not follow the story lines of the series the character appeared in. This is a work of fiction.

Written fast and edited fast, please overlook any errors. 

This one got a little long, sorry. 

Minors DNI 18+

Jenny Hoyt and I had been friends since elementary school. She was like a sister to me and we were with each other through all the ups and downs life threw at us. 

When Cody was killed I was there for her, offering comfort and support. I trust her with my life, and not just because she’s a cop. 

It was about two weeks until Christmas and Jenny wanted me to come by the Sheriff’s office this afternoon to grab some lunch and go shopping. 

Jenny told me about the new interim Sheriff, Beau Arlen. I could tell by the way she talked about him that she liked him, so I was curious what this Texas boy looked like and if he was going to take care of her heart. 

I arrived at the office a few minutes early, hoping to catch a glimpse of him. I sat in Jenny’s office scrolling on my phone when I heard a knock on the door. 

“Hey Hoyt, you got a second?” I looked up and saw the lightest green eyes I’d ever seen. My breath hitched. 

“Oh sorry, I didn't realize there was someone in here.” He said as he offered a soft smile. I stood, eyes still locked on his, “It’s okay. I was just waiting for Jenny. I’m Y/N.” I extended my hand. He took it and shook my hand, “I’m Sheriff Beau Arlen, nice to meet you, darlin’.” His voice dripped with a southern drawl. My breathing quickened and I didn’t want to let go. 

“So, Y/N, how do you know Hoyt?” He asked as we let go. “Oh she’s like a sister to me. We’ve been friends since elementary school.” He nodded and smiled. 

A silence fell between us. Jenny stepped in the office breaking the silence, “Y/N! You’re here. Hey Beau, I see you’ve met Y/N.” He smiled, tipped his hat and said yes. 

“You about ready to go, Y/N? Oh, Beau, did you need something?” “Nothing that can’t wait. I’ll catch up with you later. It was nice to meet you Y/N.” He touched my arm. “Yeah, it was nice to meet you too, Beau.” 

About an hour later Jenny and I were shopping and my mind kept drifting back to Beau. I couldn’t help it. I was so lost in thought I didn’t hear Jenny when she asked my opinion on a gift. “Hey, Earth to Y/N.” “Oh, sorry. What did you say?” “Are you okay Y/N? You seem distracted.” I bit my lip. How could I admit I found her boss attractive, and I knew she liked him. I couldn’t do that to her. 

“Yeah, just inside my head about some things.” “Are some of those things a certain green eyed, bow legged Sheriff?” I spin my head around, “What? No, of course not. Besides, I know you like him.” 

Jenny stepped closer and touched my arm, “Oh honey, he’s good looking, but I don’t like him like that. Besides, I saw how he looked at you, he’s smitten.” I smiled. My heart fluttered in my chest. 

“If you want to pursue him I would support it, and he better not break your heart or I’ll kick his ass.” I laughed, “We’ll see. What can you tell me about him?” “Let’s grab some lunch and I’ll tell you all about him.” I nodded, we paid for our purchases and went to the diner to grab some lunch. 

We sat down and ordered our lunch. The diner filled with the lunch rush and the sound of holiday music filled the air. “So Beau moved here to be our interim Sheriff. His ex-wife Carla and their daughter, Emily moved here, so he moved to be closer to them. He loves his daughter and is amazing with her. He’s kind, and an amazing friend.” I nodded taking in everything she said. He seemed too good to be true. 

“So how is his relationship with his ex-wife?” I was terrified of the answer, because I’d dated people with ex’s before and they weren’t completely over them. 

“They get along. He doesn’t talk about her much, I just know they divorced and she’s remarried to a guy he doesn’t like.” I nodded and bit my lip. 

Jenny’s phone rang and I could tell it was work. When she hung up she apologized and said she had to get back. We got our food to go and she drove us to the Sheriff’s office. 

We stood in the parking lot saying our goodbyes when I looked up and saw Beau approaching. I offered him a soft smile. “Hey Hoyt, sorry to pull you back in, but I needed backup. Y/N, I’m sorry I had to take her away from you. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” He stepped closer and my breath hitched. 

“Oh, it’s okay. We were pretty much done anyway. Y’all be careful. Jenny, call me later.” We exchanged a hug and her and Beau climbed in her truck and pulled out. 

A few hours later I got a text from Jenny.

Jenny: Hey, I hope you don’t mind but I gave Beau your number. He insisted on making it up to you for him crashing our afternoon. 

Me: It’s fine. Please tell him he really doesn’t need to. 

Jenny: I did, but he’s stubborn. Sounds like someone else I know. 😂

Me: Funny. I can think of someone just as stubborn.

Jenny: True, but you are more stubborn. 

Me: Fine. But seriously, I don’t want to overstep with him.

Jenny: Girl, if he asks you out, jump on that. He’s not been on any dates since he’s been here.

Me: Okay, if you’re sure.

Jenny: Yes! But when y’all get married I better be the maid of honor.

I laughed out loud.

Me: Deal! Love you!

Jenny: Love you too!

I sat on my couch reading a book when there was a soft knock on my door. I looked at the time and it was about 7pm. I looked through the peephole and my breath caught in my throat. It was Beau. I took a steady breath, bit my lower lip and opened the door.

Our eyes met and he smiled. I instantly got weak in the knees. “Beau?” He grinned, “Hey, sweetheart. I hope you don’t mind me stopping by.” “Oh, no, come on in.” I stepped to the side and let him in.

He walked into the living room and looked around. “Nice place you’ve got here.” “Thank you.” He held up a bag, “I hope you don’t mind. I asked Hoyt what your favorite food was and I brought it over as a peace offering.” 

I looked confused, “A peace offering, what for?” “For taking Hoyt this afternoon.” I smirked, “Beau, I told you it was fine. You needed her back at work. I understand.” 

“Well, still I wanted to bring you something to eat.” “Thank you, you can put it here.” I motioned to the kitchen counter. Beau started to take out the containers and I smiled as I smelled my favorite meal from the chinese restaurant. 

I grabbed some plates and silverware, “Can I offer you anything to drink? I have water, soda, beer and wine.” “Beer sounds great, thank you.” 

I walked to the refrigerator and grabbed him a beer and me a bottle of water. As I turned around I noticed he looked away quickly. Was he checking  me out? My cheeks flushed red. 

We sat on the couch and ate while a Christmas movie played on tv. Neither one of us was really paying attention. “Thanks again for this, Beau. It’s really hitting the spot.” He nodded, “Yeah, it is pretty good. Glad you like it.” He smiled. 

“So, Y/N, tell me about yourself. Married, Boyfriend, Girlfriend, kids?” “No to all of the above.” I laughed. “There isn’t much to tell. I’m single, I’ve been that way for a few years now. I was engaged, it didn’t work out. He decided a week before the wedding he was still in love with his ex. I found out when I found them in our bed together. Jenny is like a sister to me, and annoys me just like one. Tell me about yourself, Beau.” 

“Well, I’m new here. My ex, Carla is here and so is my daughter, Emily. We share custody, and she’s got me wrapped around her finger. Em definitely keeps me in check too. She’s got a fire in her that I pray won’t go away.” 

He sighed and smiled. I noticed how his eyes filled with love when he talked about his daughter. I couldn’t help it but I touched his hand, “She sounds amazing, Beau. I hope I get to meet her one day.” 

The rest of the night we talked, stolen glances and light touches were exchanged. Every time his calloused fingers brushed against my skin it sent a shiver through me. 

Beau noticed the time, it was after midnight, “Oh Y/N, I’m so sorry. It’s late. I should let you get some sleep.” My heart sank a little. I really didn’t want him to leave. 

“Okay, yeah it is kinda late. I’m sure you have to get up early yourself.” He nodded, “Yeah, but I…” He cut himself off. His eyes flicked to mine and then down to my lips. 

I licked them and pulled my bottom lip in between my teeth. My hair had fallen into my face. Beau lifted his hand and tucked the stray piece of hair behind my ear. His thumb brushed against my cheek.

“You’re so beautiful, Y/N.” I leaned into his touch. He stepped closer, and I moved closer. The distance between us is getting smaller. My chest rising and falling faster and my heart beating so loudly I could hear it in my ears.

We were leaning into each other, our lips mere inches apart. “Can I kiss you, sweetheart?” His voice whispered. “Yes” my voice is barely audible. His lips pressed softly to mine. The kiss was soft and tender. Not rushed and not hard. 

The world around us seemed to disappear. His hands softly slid up my neck and into my hair as he deepened the kiss. We pulled apart as the need for air became too much. I blushed and he smirked. 

My lips were on fire. I’d never felt a kiss like that before. I could kiss him all day long. “Wow.” Was all he said at first. I smiled, “Yeah, wow.” 

“Well now I don’t want to leave.” He said with a grin. “I know what you mean, but we can see each other tomorrow if you want.” 

He touched my face, “I’d like that very much.” “Me too.” Beau pulled me into his arms and hugged me, placing a soft kiss on the side of my head. “Good night, Y/N.” “Good night, Beau.”

The next few weeks Beau and I saw each other as often as we could. Our relationship was getting stronger. I’d met Emily, and she was just as sweet as Beau had described. I even met Carla. I was nervous, but she was nice and accepting of our relationship.

It was Christmas Eve night and Beau was coming over so we could exchange our gifts and spend some time together. He was spending Christmas with Emily and I felt like I should let them have their time together. Beau was appreciative. 

When Beau got to my house he was greeted with a candle lit dinner and a home cooked meal. I had gotten off work early, so I wanted to surprise him. After dinner and dessert, we settled on the couch. 

I was so excited to give him his present. “So Beau, are you ready for your gift?” I bit my lip, I was so nervous. He smiled and nodded.

I handed him a small box. He opened it and looked confused. “What’s this?” “It’s a key for you. I want you to feel like this is home too.” He smiled, “I love it, Y/N.” “There’s something else I wanted to give you, but I wasn’t sure how to wrap it.”

“Okay, want me to close my eyes?” He smirked. I nodded. He closed his eyes and I got his present ready. I took a deep breath, “Okay, open your eyes.”

When he opened his eyes I was standing in front of him in a sheer red nightgown that had white fur around the top and bottom. It looked almost like a Santa suit. His eyes went wide, “Damn sweetheart, look at you. C’mere.” He pulled me close to him and down on his lap.

I straddled his lap as he started to kiss me up and down. His hands running on my body. My thighs were on either side of him and I grinded down onto his strained erection. Pulling a moan from his lips. 

I started kissing him and things were heating up. He had a full on erection and my panties were soaked. His hands pulled my hips down onto him. I moaned as my sensitive clit came in contact with his bulge.

Our lips still connected to each other and our hands explored each other’s bodies. “Are you sure, darlin’?” “Yes, Beau. I want you.” “Let’s take this to the bedroom.” He purred. 

I stood and helped him up, he grabbed my waist and pulled me back in flush to his body, his lips landing on mine again. 

Hand in hand we went to the bedroom. Beau removed his clothes and I watched in awe. This man was stunning and his body was perfect. My thighs clenched together and I felt myself get wetter. 

I laid back to the pillows on the bed and Beau climbed between my legs. His fingers hooked my panties and pulled them down. He kissed up my thighs and I squirmed. 

Beau’s mouth ghosted my dripping wet core and I moaned. I felt him smirk as he used his skilled tongue and fingers to make me cum, three times. By the time he was finished my legs were like jello and I felt amazing. 

He removed his boxers, put on a condom and asked again if I was sure. I nodded and told him I was. 

As he pushed in, my walls clenched. His long, thick length stretched me in ways I’d never felt and damn did I want more. As he bottomed out we both moaned. He stilled before he continued. 

Each thrust, each touch sent electricity through my body. His name falling from my lips like a prayer. I wrapped my legs around his waist and moved my body, “Oh Beau, you feel so good. Don’t stop.” My hands on his strong shoulders helping ground me in the moment. 

Beau’s hips snapping into mine, he kissed my lips and moaned. “Oh Carla, you feel incredible.” 

My eyes shot open and my legs fell. “What?!” I tried to wiggle out from under him. “Oh shit! I’m so sorry, Y/N. I have no idea why I said that. Fuck! I didn’t mean it, I swear I wasn’t thinking about her.” 

I grabbed the blanket as he moved off of me. Tears stung my eyes. “Beau, I think you should leave.” 

“Y/N, baby, please. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I called her name out.” I shook my head, “I do. Beau please go.” The tears started to fall as I pulled the blanket around me like a secure hug.

Beau got off the bed, let out a deep sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. 

I turned my back to him, I couldn’t look at him. My heart was broken. Another man I gave my heart to and he was still stuck on his ex. A lump formed in my throat. I had fallen in love with Beau, and of course he would break my heart. 

Beau got dressed, stopped at the bedroom door and said, “I’m so sorry, darlin’. I love you.” 

I let out an audible sob. The first time he says I love you and it’s right after he breaks my fucking heart. As soon as I heard the front door I let out all the tears I had been holding back. 

Hours later the tears had stopped. Mostly because I didn’t have any left. My eyes and head hurt, and my heart was broken. Exhaustion finally took over my body and I drifted off to a restless sleep. 

Beau arrived home completely defeated and angry at himself. He had no idea why he called Carla’s name out. He wasn’t thinking about her and he was in love with me. 

He sent Hoyt a text. 

Beau: Hey when you get this can you call me. I fucked up and I don’t know how to fix it. 

Hoyt: give me a minute 

A few minutes later his phone rang. “Hoyt I fucked up bad. She’s never going to forgive me.” “Calm down Arlen, what happened?” Jenny asked as she tried to get him to calm down. 

“We were having a great time and one thing led to another. It was amazing and in the middle of it I called out Carla’s name. I swear I wasn’t thinking about her. I don’t know why I did it. She made me leave and wouldn’t look at me. I don’t know how to fix this.” 

“Damn, Beau. I’m not sure if you can fix this. She went through this with her ex fiancée and found him in bed with his ex right before the wedding. You need to give her some time. I’ll talk to her and see what I can do. She’s going to need some space tonight.” 

Beau let out a frustrated sigh. He was so angry at himself. He couldn’t believe he did that to you and the look in your eyes haunted his mind. 

“Thanks Jenny. Please let me know what I can do to make this right.” 

They exchanged their goodbyes and hung up. 

Jenny sent me a text. 

Jenny: Hey sweetie. He called me and told me what happened. When you’re ready I’m here. I love you. 

I was asleep when the message came in so I didn’t see it right away. 

Christmas morning came and I pulled the blanket over my head. I really couldn’t face anyone today. 

I grabbed my phone and my heart kinda sank when I didn’t see a text from Beau. Of course I really shouldn’t expect one. I saw the message from Jenny. I can’t face her either. So I sent her a text. 

Me: Yeah. I’m not ready to talk. I love you too, Merry Christmas. 

Jenny: Merry Christmas, sweetie. I understand. Will I see you later? 

Me: I don’t know. Honestly right now I’m probably going to say no.

Jenny: I understand sweetie. For what it’s worth he’s really upset about it. He called me last night and told me how he fucked up. 

Me: He really did. Jenny I’m falling for him and in the middle of sex he called me his ex’s name. Then told me he loved me before he left. How do I process that?

Jenny: He told you he loved you? 

Me: yes, before he left. 

Jenny: Oh honey. We will figure it out. I’m not going to push, but you should come over for a little bit today. 

Me: I promise I’ll think about it. Right now I want to be alone. 

Beau got up and looked at his phone. His finger was hovering over my name. He wanted to send me a message but didn’t know what to do. Emily had sent him a message and told her she was excited about today. Beau knew he was going to have to fake happiness for her sake. 

He was happy he got to spend time with her, but his mind kept replaying last night. His heart ached. He was in love and he just fucked it up. 

Jenny: Hey Beau. I’m not sure what to tell you except she said you told her you loved her. She said she loves you too. Reach out to her and just lay it all out there. I’d suggest a text and see if she’s willing to talk on the phone. If not then figure it out. Make her listen. She can be stubborn especially when she’s been hurt. 

Beau: Okay. Thanks Hoyt. I’ll try. 

Beau took a deep breath and let it out. Then he sent a text. 

Y/N: Hey. I know I’m the last person you want to hear from, but I just want to talk. If you don’t want to talk on the phone I’m okay with texting. I’m leaving it up to you. I know I fucked this up and you have every right to be pissed. I just want you to talk to me. 

I looked at the text that came in. My heart cracked more. I know he was in pain, but he called her name out when he was with me. I don’t know what to do. Did I want to hear his voice or just make him text me? 

I ran my fingers through my hair. “Fuck!” I let out a long sigh. 

My finger hovered over his name. I pushed it and the line started ringing. 

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said when he answered the phone. “Hey Beau.” 

“Thank you for calling me. I can’t believe you did, but I’m so happy. Baby I don’t know where to begin.” 

“Beau, are you still in love with Carla?” “No, absolutely not. I’m in love with you. I’ll always care about her because she’s Emily’s mother, but I’m not in love with her. She’s the last woman I had been with before you. Maybe it was a habit, but I swear I wasn’t thinking about her at all. I don’t have an excuse for it, but I swear if you give me another chance to be in your life I’ll never do that again.”

“Beau, you really hurt me. You broke my heart. It brought back all that pain from my ex. He swore he loved me, we were about to get married and I caught him in bed with the ex he said he didn’t care about. I can’t, no I won’t go through that again. I deserve better than to be a second choice.” 

“I swear, Y/N you’re not nor will you ever be a second choice to me. I’d choose you over and over again. I love you.” 

Tears started to fall. I was terrified to let him in again, but I loved him. “Baby, please don’t cry. I’m so sorry.” I could hear his voice crack. I know he was on the verge of crying too. 

“Beau, I don’t know what to say. Let’s talk about it more tomorrow. I don’t want you to be late to see Em. She deserves your undivided attention. I love you, Beau.” 

“Oh sweetheart, I love you. Maybe I can come by later, if you want me to and we can talk.” “I’d love that Beau. Please give Emily my love and tell her Merry Christmas for me.” “I will, and thank you for at least talking to me. I’ll come by later.” “Okay, Beau.”

We hung up and I felt a little better. I jumped in the shower and when I got out I heard a knock on the front door. I grabbed my robe and put it on. I wasn’t expecting anyone, but I suspected it was Jenny coming to drag me to her house. 

I looked through the peephole and gasped. Opening the door standing with flowers in hand was Beau. “Merry Christmas, darlin’.” He handed me a beautiful bouquet. 

I smiled and stepped to the side letting him in. “Beau, what are you doing here? You’re going to be late seeing Emily.” “No, I was there and she asked where you were. I told her we got into a disagreement and she told me not to come back until I fixed us because she loved you so much.” 

I smiled, “I love her too. She’s such a sweetheart.” “I told her it was all my fault and she read me the riot act. Carla even got in on it and told me not to come back without you. I hope you don’t mind, but I shared with Carla what happened. She called me a dumbass and told me to fix it.”

I gasped softly, “Beau. I know you’re not my ex, and you didn’t do it on purpose. I love you so much. I’m sorry I made you leave.” I threw my arms around him. 

He pulled me tight and placed a soft kiss on my lips, “God I love you. I promise I’ll never hurt you again.” 

“You better not, Beau Arlen. Because I’m not the only one who would kick your butt.” We both chuckled. 

“Now, about Christmas dinner. If I show back up to Carla’s without you she’s going to kill me. Please come with me. They both want you there, I want you there.”

“Okay, I’ll go as long as you promise me something.” “Anything, sweetheart.” “When we leave we come back here and reopen your Christmas present.” “Are you sure, Y/N?” 

I stepped closer, lips ghosting his, “Yes”. Then I kissed him. He pulled me into the kiss deeper and the kiss turned passionate. We finally pulled away, “Merry Christmas, Beau.” “Merry Christmas, Y/N.”

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[charlieslowartsies]

FINISHED MY TOOTHLESS PLUSH!!

Materials, info and some comments under the RM!

Toothless' Pattern I purchased

Materials: 6 yards of black minky 1 yard red minky 5 yards of Poly-Fil extra loft medium quilt batting 18 oz of poly pellets (4 oz in each foot) 2 Mainstay firm bed pillows for stuffing 1 spool of purple thread for the top stitching details on his tail, hip and main wings 2.5 spools of black thread Dark green, lime green, goldenrod and light yellow embroidery floss black acrylic paint white fabric paint Velcro one very old, small and cranky sewing machine who somehow survived this ordeal several comfort shows, podcasts, and music to listen to

This was my winter break project! Granted I started bits and pieces of the process in early December, but once my two weeks off hit he really started getting worked on lol.

I know it's hard to tell from photos, but he is A BIG CHONGUS. Toothless is 5.5 feet from head to tail tip, and has a 9 foot wingspan. He weighs about 8 lbs.

He took about 60ish hours and was very complex. My budget was $200 and he came in at $202! That includes things like the bulldog clips that I bought when he was being pinned because the minky was so slippery! This cost EXcludes a sewing machine, or things like an embroidery ring which my mom had, so I was very lucky in several areas—but he still was not cheap, either by expense or by time and sweat/tears!

Of course, the minky was by far the most of the cost, coming in at $122. I’d say the batting would be next, but I waited and snagged a good deal at my local craft store and got the batting for $18. I HIGHLY recommend buying bed pillows. The original maker of the pattern used IKEA pillows I believe.

I increased his size by 20%, so I printed him at 120% and guesstimated on the minky amount. My WORST mistake was forgetting to mirror the WINGS, which meant I had to recut two of the four pieces of fabric. (I should have marked it on the pattern, which I did mark well for things like number count.) Had I not done this, I would have used a lot less minky. I bought 7 yards and only needed 5.5 before my error.

(Now I’ve got scraps and a whole yard left sitting there whispering that it wants to be made into a Krobus plushie…who seems much less of a hurdle than Toothless.)

I stuffed Toothy’s hip fins and tail fins with one layer of quilt batting. His wings however, are double layered with the batting for extra plush, warmth, and durability. His eyes are hand embroidered (my first time!) but stitched on with the machine. Toothless has poly pellets in his feet to help support his bulk, but most of his weight is in his body, hips and start of his tail so he actually sits up really well.

He was a huge labor of love for sure! The pattern was great, the instructions were…less great. But my mom helped me figure out a lot of the troubling bits. Some parts were easy to follow and others were basically "bing bong fuck ya life." Despite that, I do suggest this pattern. But this is definitely an intermediate or advanced pattern. They also sell the eyes for those that have access to an embroidery machine.

I followed the pattern closely as I desired. I did omit the back spikes on his rear legs, and I couldn’t embroider his lil nose by hand ^^; I also did not make his blue alpha fins because of expense and mistrust in my own skills...also, I kinda wanted HTTYD1 Toothless haha. I love the series as a whole but the og movie is literally one of the reasons I went to college, and it went into my thesis as well.

I want to remake his prosthetic at some point when I have time and energy, but for now I’m pleased with 99% of him, especially since this is my first plushie I’ve ever made. I do not regret any of my personal changes and I’m totally in love with him.

[daizymax]

let loose | hhj (m)

summary: it's a party, and your roommate said you should loosen up once in a while, so why is he upset when you start making out with one of his friends?

pairing: hyunjin x fem reader

genre: smut

word count: 6.2k

rating: mature (18+)

warnings & features: roommate!hyunjin; profanity; alcohol consumption; some name-calling (reader calls hyunjin an asshole and an idiot one time each); jealousy; jisung is briefly featured only to be used for very poor plot purposes i'm so sorry; graphic sexual content; dirty talk; vaginal fingering; protected sex

author's note: reuploaded from my old blog with some edits (nothing major though). hope you enjoy!

{ click here if you prefer to read on AO3 }

---

It’s not the book’s fault, yet you still take your frustration out on it by slinging it across your bedroom after the - not third, not fourth, but - fifth drunken guest stumbles into your closed door.

“I swear to god,” you groan, tossing aside your comforter to begrudgingly pull on a pair of pants and step out of what was supposed to be your safe haven for the night.

Into the fray it is, then.

Whichever culprit tripped into your door a moment ago is not in the hallway anymore. From the living room and kitchen, you can hear laughter and chatter straining to be heard over the booming music. And as you pass the bathroom, you lock eyes with a young man and glimpse someone in there behind him before he closes the door.

Sighing, you make your way to the living room. Nothing appears to have been destroyed, you note gratefully, but the “small gathering” is clearly busier and rowdier than what your roommate had promised. He’s not here in the crowded living room, though, so you move to check the kitchen next, pushing and squeezing past bodies with mumbled apologies as you go.

You find Hyunjin upending a bottle of tequila into a row of shot glasses. Half of his nearly shoulder-length blond hair is gathered in a knot behind his head, looking maddeningly elegant when the same hairstyle on anyone else would look messy at best. His white button-down shirt hugs his shoulders nicely, and the sleeves are folded up near his elbows, giving a clear view of the tendons in his forearms flexing beneath smooth, creamy skin as he works. It’s a simple look, but his entire appearance is still too well-kept for this hour and setting, in your opinion. You’ve always held the belief that Home is a safe place to not give a shit how you look, not a place to be looking like… that.

He spots you and smiles, though you notice a hint of sheepishness in his eyes as well. He’s pleasantly surprised to see you, but he’s also aware you’ve been disturbed on his account. Even still, he doesn’t greet you with a due apology. He keeps his tone light and carefree as he calls out: “Hey! Did you change your mind about joining the fun? You want a shot?”

You make a face. “Ick, no, tequila is such a nasty drink,” you decline. When you get close enough, you lean into his shoulder and mutter, “What the fuck, dude, you said a 'few' people. And it’s two A.M.”

He turns to consult the clock over the stove and shrugs. “Perfect time for things to be in full swing then, I’d say. And you must not be doing your shots right, babe.” He gestures toward a bowl of lime wedges, and you vaguely wonder when he picked those up because you certainly didn’t purchase them yourself.

“I know how to do a tequila shot, asshole. But still,” you dismiss without elaborating further. “I’m going back to bed. Can you try to keep your friends away from my room, please? They keep fucking bumping into my door. Oh, and if they need a bathroom, tell them to use yours because I think a couple of them are hooking up in the guest one right now.”

Hyunjin’s eyes widen momentarily, then crease in amusement. He leans to the side and shouts behind you, “Yo, Jisung! Where’d Jisung go? Hey! Someone tell him Minho is-”

You’re not interested in hearing Minho’s story or what Jisung has to say about it, whoever they both are. You’re only interested in preserving some semblance of sanctity in your home, so you get back in your roommate’s face and cut him off with a terse warning. “Hyunjin, please, I’m serious. Keep it civil in here.”

“Okay, ‘mom,’ jeez.”

You toss your hands up in defeat and spin on your heel to storm off, but he catches your bicep.

“No, wait, I’m sorry, Y/N, really,” he says more sincerely when he gets you to turn back around. You cross your arms and wait for more. “We’ll be good, and I’ll make sure everyone is out in an hour, even if I have to personally drive them all home myself,” he promises, going dramatically over the top to show you how serious he is. “But you really should just join us, you know. I’ve told you you’re welcome to.”

You roll your eyes. “Of course I am. I fucking live here.”

“Exactly. This is your home, so you should let loose once in a while.”

“And what could I possibly gain from getting drunk with you and your friends?”

“Uh, the experience of actually having fun for once? And the pleasure of our - well, mainly my - amazing company?” Hyunjin answers with a tone and a face that tells you it should have been obvious. 

“Yeah, right,” you snort.

“Just let me see you have one shot, babe. Humor me. Pretty please?”

You eye the pitiful, pleading look on his pouty face, then the spread of liquor on the sticky countertop, and eventually cave. “Fine, where’s the salt?”

Hyunjin watches in delight as you lick the back of your hand to prepare it for the salt. As you’re sprinkling it on, someone joins the two of you in the kitchen.

“Hey Hyunjin, were you just calling me?” He doesn’t wait for the answer to that before he’s going on, “Who’s this? I don’t think we’ve met.”

You turn to face the newcomer and stretch out your unsalted hand. “Hey, I’m Y/N, Hyunjin’s roommate.”

“Oh!” He takes your hand in both of his and squeezes it enthusiastically. “Good to finally meet you. I’m Jisung.”

You throw a cheeky smile at your roommate as you grab one of the shot glasses. “Why do I get the feeling I’ve been talked about behind my back?” you ask neither of them in particular, though Hyunjin at least has the decency to blush over being caught.

“Nothing bad,” Jisung rushes to clarify. “Hyunjin’s just mentioned you sometimes, like whenever something reminds him of you or- something.”

His abrupt finish makes you think Hyunjin just gave him some kind of shut-the-fuck-up look, but you missed it. You don’t press for details, though. You just go about getting through the shot you were so easily talked into. So you lick the salt from your hand, down the tequila in one burning swallow, then bite into the flesh of a lime wedge in sequence as quickly as you can while the boys watch.

“Awful. Just awful,” you declare when you’re finished, smacking your lips and clicking your tongue in disgust.

Jisung chuckles and Hyunjin claps your back rather proudly as he takes the bitten lime wedge to throw it away.

“Do you like beer? We can drink beer instead,” Jisung suggests.

You look to see if he is in fact speaking to you, which does appear to be the case from his smile and hopeful eye contact.

Before you answer, you take the time to give him a proper once-over. He’s very attractive, but it’s not as instantly noticeable as with Hyunjin. Something in the way his smile begins faltering the longer you stare at him is utterly endearing to you, though.

“We?” you tease.

“I mean, if that’s c-cool with you-” he starts backtracking on his boldness.

“Y/N isn’t really into parties, are you, babe?” Hyunjin suddenly speaks up for you. “I think she was just going back to her room.”

Jisung furrows his eyebrows and pouts. “Aw, really?”

You give Hyunjin a look that is both stern and confused. You have mixed feelings about the pet name to begin with. It’s one thing for him to want to call you something other than your name when it’s just the two of you, but he never calls you that in front of others. Or he never has before, at least. Now it makes it sound like the two of you are… a couple? An item? Which is not the case.

Plus, he’d been excited to have you out here “joining the fun” a moment ago, but now he’s okay with you retreating to your room? Or perhaps he just doesn’t want you spending time with Jisung in particular...

Upon connecting those dots, you decide you only have one choice in the matter.

“Actually, I’ve changed my mind about that. I’d love to have a beer with you, Jisung,” you say sweetly, to which he beams.

“Great!” The return of his smile assures you you’ve made the right choice. “Lead the way.”

Hyunjin shoots his friend another look as you and Jisung leave the kitchen together, but you miss that one, too.

---

“So, what made a girl like you move in with a guy like Hyunjin?”

“‘A girl like me,’” you repeat, downing another swig of beer. “So you think you know all about me now since we’ve talked about our jobs and hobbies, huh?”

Jisung doesn’t flinch against your teasing this time, just laughs. “I mean, I’m definitely not opposed to learning more about you.”

He stretches an arm behind you on the back of the couch and scoots closer. He really is a very good looking guy, and you know it’s not the alcohol adding optimism to your vision, either, because you haven’t had all that much. He has great hair, pretty eyes, cute nose, nice teeth, beautiful cheekbones. A little excitable, you can tell, but also charming and polite. He’s cute.

He holds your gaze with a small but unwavering smile this time as he waits for you to either answer his initial question or offer more information about yourself. You opt for neither.

“Maybe I don’t want to talk about me anymore.”

“Okay, that’s cool. What would you rather talk-”

You lean in and kiss him. Just a peck, a gentle press of your lips to his, not too fast but still over before he’s fully registered the gesture or able to return it.

“Oh,” Jisung whispers in understanding when you pull back a little.

“Was that okay?” you ask.

“Yeah, yeah, perfectly okay,” he assures. He bites his tingling lip and smirks, then lifts his arm from the couch to place his hand on the nape of your neck. “But I wasn’t quite ready. Can we try that again?”

You nod, and he closes the gap to kiss you back properly this time. From some corner of your apartment, a tipsy guest whistles over the scene, but you’re more interested in the hum Jisung lets out as both your lips part and tongues slip together in sync. He tastes of beer and salty snacks, but something on him - his shampoo or his lotion or his cologne or maybe a mixture of the three - smells faintly sweet and minty.

His fingertips gently tickle your neck for a bit, then hold firmly to draw you deeper into his kisses. You consider moving onto his lap, but something in the back of your mind tells you not to cause too much of a scene in the middle of Hyunjin’s party.

In fact, if you were paying more attention to your surroundings outside of this cute stranger, you might have noticed the onlookers stirring up a scandalized fuss over your roommate already making a beeline toward the couch, but it isn’t until he’s shoving the two of you apart that you do.

“What the hell, man?” Jisung protests.

Hyunjin ignores him, addressing you instead. “Y/N, can I talk to you for a second, please?”

Apparently by “talk” he means pull you completely out of the room and partway down the hallway like a barbarian before you manage to wrest your hand away.

“What the hell, Hyunjin?” you repeat Jisung’s question with double the annoyance.

“I’m here asking you the same thing,” he snaps back in a hushed tone. “Why are you making out with a stranger on the couch?”

You cross your arms in front of him for the second time tonight and raise an eyebrow to his attitude. “I thought I was just letting loose, having fun and enjoying the pleasure of your friends’ company. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“I didn’t mean like that! And why Jisung?”

“What’s wrong with Jisung? He seems nice.”

Hyunjin gawps like he’s never heard those words out of anyone’s mouth before. “You’ve only known him for like half an hour!”

“So? He still seems nice. And he’s really hot...”

You turn your head back to the living room to try and catch Jisung’s eye and give him a signal that you’ll be with him again shortly, but Hyunjin dives to block your line of sight.

“He’s not good enough for you, trust me.”

“Well for fuck’s sake, Hyunjin, I’m not trying to marry him! I’m just trying to get laid,” you spell out bluntly. Hyunjin scoffs but doesn’t reply, just looks down at the floor. You scrutinize the plain displeasure all over his face and smirk as a sneaking suspicion occurs to you. “Unbelievable. Is the Hwang Hyunjin actually jealous?”

“Yes.” His swift, honest answer catches you completely by surprise and stuns you into silence. When he gauges that you’re not going to reply, he continues, “It’s not fair, Y/N. We’ve been living together for months and it only took Jisung thirty minutes to get you to want to sleep with him? I’ve been here this whole time. I’ve been- I’ve wanted you this whole time...”

You process his words in continued silence for nearly a full minute, then finally say, “If I’d known it would only take me making out with one of your friends to get you to confess that, I would’ve joined one of your parties sooner. Or you could have just told me from the start, you know.”

Hyunjin recognizes a joke somewhere in your words and automatically lets a laugh slip, but soon snaps his head up. “Wait, really?”

“You’re such an idiot,” you chuckle. “But I guess I am, too. I guess we’ve both been wasting all this time. Want to make up for it?”

His eyes blow wide. “R-Right now? Aren’t you drunk?”

“No. Are you?”

“No…”

“Then why not? I mean, I guess we can at least kick everyone out first, if you wa-”

His lips are on yours before you can finish the thought. They’re just as plush as they look, but the impact is sharp, and you take only a brief moment to grunt over it before you’re reciprocating in full, grabbing his shoulders tightly and pulling him closer. He tastes like traces of salt, too. Citrusy as well. And the woody scent of his cologne is an all too familiar comfort in your nostrils. He wraps his arms around you and you sigh, happily letting him overwhelm your senses.

“Babe… please tell me this won’t be a one-time thing,” Hyunjin mumbles between ravishing blows of lips and teeth.

“Wasn’t planning on it being.”

“And you’re sure you’re not drunk?” he checks again.

“I’m sure, Hyunjin. I want this.”

“Bedroom, then.”

“Yours or mine?” you giggle.

“I don’t care… yours,” he decides quickly, steering you by the hips in the right direction.

There is already a couple in there tangled together in their own passionate lip-lock when you stumble through the door. You’ll have time to be upset about their evident plans to defile your safe haven later when you’re not in your own haste to commit nasty acts in it.

“Get the fuck out,” Hyunjin growls at them.

You expect at least one of them to argue that they were here first, but they heed his command without a word, hastily picking up one of their discarded shirts before scampering off.

Hyunjin slams the door behind them with a careless kick of his foot, then continues right on kissing you like you’re holding all the air in the room. At the same time, his hands are busy trying to map every line of your body like it’s something he needed to have memorized yesterday.

“Hyunjin - ungh -  I know we’re making up for lost time, but - mmph - we can still - hah - slow down, you know,” you laugh, struggling to get your words out in the midst of the feverish pace he’s setting.

He nearly whimpers at that. “Just want you so fucking bad, you have no idea. Been waiting so long to touch you, kiss you.”

His lips skim across your cheek and over to your ear. Whatever response you had in mind is lost when he nips your earlobe with his teeth then soothes the sting with the tip of his wet tongue.

“You like that?” he asks, though he suspects he knows the answer already by the shiver that runs through you.

“Y-yeah.”

He does it again - a quick nip of his teeth and a sensual flick of his tongue - and then he’s on to the next thing, trailing those enticing lips down the column of your throat, suckling gently at your skin the entire way.

“Can we take this off?” Hyunjin asks next, alerting you to where his fingers have hooked themselves under the hem of your shirt.

At your nod, he yanks it up and drops it aside. There is a glimmer in his eyes as he takes in your bare chest, as though one of his biggest fantasies has just sprung to life before him. You entertain the idea that perhaps it has.

“Holy shit,” he breathes. He’s never been one to impress easily, but there’s no mistaking the look on his face for anything else.

His pace is much slower when he reaches to graze the pads of his thumbs back and forth across your perked nipples. The soft moan you release encourages him to take a better feel with his palms.

“I can’t tell you how many times I’ve pictured your tits in my head,” he confesses as he carefully gropes you. “All those times you paraded around the apartment without a bra on, nipples sticking through your shirt... fuck, Y/N.”

You huff a small laugh at the thought of you ever “parading” anywhere, but the knowledge that you’ve ever turned him on turns you on even more, as made evident by the growing wetness between your legs.

“And these tight fucking leggings you always wear,” he goes on, roaming his hands down your hips and around to your backside, “drive me insane on you, I swear to god. Any time - every time - I see you bend over, I just want to take you over the counter or the couch or against the wall and give it to you good, baby.”

The new pet name and the sordid confessions spilling from him make you want to join in on the dirty talk, but the feeling of him taking two handfuls of your ass - the feeling of his long-awaited touch in general - is burning you up from the inside, fizzling the majority of your coherent thoughts. All you can bring yourself to speak is: “Show me.”

Hyunjin looks back to your face and grins wickedly. “Oh, I’ll definitely be fucking you in the kitchen at some point in the near future. And in the living room. There are so many things I want to do to you. So many things I want you do to me. We’re gonna fuck each other in every single room in this place, starting with this one.”

He pulls away, and you immediately miss his body heat. You don’t complain, however, because you don’t want to disrupt him from yanking his shirt out from where it’s tucked into his jeans and undoing the buttons one by one with deft twists of his fingers. Once the flaps are loose, he shrugs and lets the fabric spill to a heap on the floor.

You’ve seen him shirtless on many occasions by now. In the mornings, stumbling to the coffee pot while still half asleep. On his way to the laundry room with only a pair of sweatpants riding low on his hips because he always lets his dirty clothes pile up until he has nearly nothing left to wear. But not in this context. Not when it’s finally appropriate for you to stare. Not when the sexual tension that has been building for months is finally about to be shattered.

Yet you don’t even get to admire his chest nearly as much as he did yours before your attention is drawn lower by his hands working to open his belt. He drops it aside with his shirt, and then his jeans follow, and then his boxers, and just like that, he’s standing completely naked in front of you with enough lithe, beautiful glory to almost make your heart stop.

Hyunjin takes a step closer to you, his erection bobbing gently and shamelessly in the air with the motion. He puts his hands back on you, snapping the waistband of your pants lightly as he leans in to ask, “Are you gonna get these, or should I?”

“Go ahead,” you invite.

You steady your hands on his shoulders, and he peels your bottoms - underwear and all - far enough down your legs for you to kick them both away. Once he stands up straight again, you wind your arms around his neck and pull him to lie over you on the mattress. He helps position you comfortably in the center with gentle nudges of his knees and tugs of his warm hands, and his lips find their way back to yours in the meantime. You hum contentedly at the return of the citrusy taste that comes from his tongue dipping against yours.

After all his careful maneuvering to get you just where he wanted, you decide this isn’t the position you want after all, so you push your weight against him until he rolls over and slips beneath you.

Hyunjin’s eyelashes flutter prettily as he gazes up at you. Then they scrunch completely shut when you press your center against the shaft of his thick, solid cock. The moan he lets out when you begin to drag yourself up and down his erection may be the single most erotic thing you’ve ever heard.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he murmurs. “Feel how fucking hard you got me already? That’s all for you.”

Your empty walls clench from his words. Nodding, you whisper, “So hard. So big. Can’t wait to have you inside me.”

He hums and opens his eyes. “Me either. Can I finger you first?”

It’s great that he’s offering because you were just about to request the exact same thing.

“Please.”

Hyunjin wastes no time slipping his hand between your bodies, and you lift up a little higher on your knees to give him more room.

He starts by gently gliding a single finger up and down your slit to gauge how wet you are already. Evidently his findings are unsatisfactory, though, because he quickly removes his hand to bring it up to his face and add some spit to it before bringing it back down. Two of his wet fingers prod shallowly into your hole, and you keen at the sensation.

“Shit, that’s tight,” he mutters, steadily working his knuckles deeper.

It’s clear when he starts searching for your g-spot from the way his fingers start crooking. He has to adjust his depth and angle a few times, but he eventually taps the patch he’s looking for.

Your legs quiver as he starts working up a quick pace against that sweet spot inside you, pressing his fingertips against it with every pump back and forth through your walls.

“Oh god,” you moan, steadying yourself with your hands on his shoulders. Your hips buck after a particularly good push of his fingers, and he hums knowingly.

“Like sitting on my fingers, baby?” he asks. The tone of his voice is pitched deeper than usual, and it sends a shiver up your spine. The hand that isn't currently inside you runs along your thigh soothingly.

You nod and lick your lips. “Yeah,” you breathe. “F-Feels so fucking good…”

“Can’t believe I finally have you sitting over me with my fingers up your pussy right now,” he says, gaze moving in a line from your face to your chest to your pussy and back again.

Smirking down at him, you say, “It’s about to be your big cock inside me.”

Hyunjin groans and bites his lip. “You sure you’re ready to take me? I just got my fingers inside you. Haven’t even fucked you open on them yet.”

“Don’t care,” you murmur, leaning down to press your bare chest into his. “Want you inside me so fucking bad, don't want to wait any longer.”

His fingers slip from your soaking cunt as you slot your lips over his, and he sighs when you slip your tongue into his mouth again.

When your hand goes reaching for his cock, he breaks away from the hungry kisses and pants, "Mm, Y/N, wait- We need a condom, yeah? I have some in my room…”

“I have some here.” You steal another quick kiss before drawing open your bedside table to grab one of the foil packets. A quick rip and tug and it’s out of the packaging so you can pinch the tip and roll it smoothly down his burning length.

“Last chance to turn back and not cross this line,” you declare.

“I think it would be even more awkward if we didn’t at this point. B-But it’s cool if you want to stop.”

He sounds nervous of what your answer may be, but you believe he means the words, and you appreciate the consideration all the same.

And you definitely feel sure. You definitely want this.

So you take hold of the base of his cock, line the broad tip up to your entrance, and begin to ease down.

The moment he breaches you, Hyunjin tenses and hisses a sharp breath through his teeth. His hands find purchase on your hips, too tight at first to brace himself against the wet heat you’re surrounding him in even through the condom, but then he eases up after he’s bottomed out.

You sit still once you’re flush against his lap, realizing you need to relish this particular moment because you won’t ever get it back - the ecstasy of feeling him stretch you out like this for the first time.

Hyunjin starts squirming after a bit, fingertips twitching from your hips down to your thighs and back again, unsure what to do with himself while he waits for you. “Baby, please, I think I might go crazy if you don’t move.”

“So impatient,” you tsk but begin to rock against him nonetheless. Careful, slow undulations of your waist to test the depths of the pleasure rippling through you. His breath hitches over a particular swivel, and you moan at the angles he’s hitting just from a little back and forth movement.

“Oh my god, you sound so hot,” Hyunjin praises. “And you feel like fucking heaven.”

“You feel so fucking good too, you feel amazing,” you gush back.

With an idea of how he could feel even better, you lift away from his lap just to sink down quickly. After a few repetitive drops, he reunites with that perfect spot inside you that has your toes curling inward and head tipping back in bliss.

Hyunjin groans along with you over the fast pace you’re picking up, and his hands finally settle for keeping a loose grip on your ass as the flesh of your thighs slaps against his hips with every plunge. Surely he can feel you starting to soak his lap; you can just hear how wet you are with every bounce. It’s sinfully vulgar but so fucking good.

“You’re so gorgeous, Y/N,” he rasps next. “I swear I could watch you bounce on my dick all fucking night.”

You look down just as he flicks his eyes up from your heaving chest to your face, then you grin at having caught what exactly he was finding so gorgeous about you bouncing on his dick. 

Hyunjin licks his lips and sits up to bring his face closer to yours. “So fucking gorgeous,” he repeats on your lips before pressing harder.

You lose concentration over riding him when your mind is on the way his tongue dances behind your teeth, so he helps you out by bucking his hips upward as best he can to keep the stimulation on your sweet spot.

“Hyunjin…” you whine when he pulls back.

“Tell me what to do to make you come, baby, please. Need to feel you come on my cock so fucking bad, I'll do anything.”

From the way he was acting earlier, you half expected Hyunjin’s cocky ass to taunt you with claims of how he can fuck you better than Jisung ever could, not plea for instructions.

It’s almost sweet.

“Fuck me from behind?” you request.

Hyunjin blinks twice, kisses you sloppily several times more, then helps ease you onto all fours in front of him. You spread your knees and lift your backside to present his target to him, but he has his eyes cast down toward your face while you get yourself comfortable.

“Just like this?” he checks once it seems you’re finished moving. One of his hands hints along the small of your back delicately, wanting to touch you but not hold you down.

“Like this,” you confirm.

He takes hold of his cock and presses the tip back to your drenched folds, slicking it up and down a few times before pushing into your hole. He doesn't stop until he's up to his balls. Your pussy accepts his reentry easily, though Hyunjin seems to feel differently.

“You’re so damn tight, Y/N, fuck. When was the last time you got dicked down?”

“That has nothing to do with- oh fuck-”

He gives a sensual roll of his hips while you’re trying to speak, and you lose your train of thought once more. Hyunjin smirks at your reaction and does it again, barely withdrawing before hitting at just the right depth to have you arching your back for more.

“Is that good, baby? Is this how you want me to fuck you?” he asks, starting to build a rhythm. He holds your hips to keep you steady, but there’s not much he can do about rocking the mattress; not if he wants to keep you moaning and dripping and shuddering the way you are.

“Y-yeah, yeah, keep going, I’m getting close,” you urge.

Hyunjin keeps his eyes fixed on the place where his cock plunges in and out of you, spreading your ass cheeks apart to give himself a better view. His balls smack wetly against your clit over and over, enhancing the vulgarity of the skin-on-skin noises ringing in your ears.

It isn't as much stimulation as you need, though, so you dip a hand between your legs to play with yourself, and Hyunjin can feel the instant you touch your clit from the way you suddenly clench around him. The extra tightness draws a grunt from the back of his throat and his hips jerk unsteadily.

He’s been careful to keep his thrusts under control, striking your g-spot repeatedly without brutally battering it, but you can tell he’s losing his composure, losing his breath, losing his head in the steam of your conjoined pleasure. He groans out and pounds into your pussy harder.

The headboard is outright banging against the wall by now. Some part of you wonders how noticeable it is from the rest of the apartment, but most of your concentration is on rubbing faster at your clit while Hyunjin keeps your g-spot on the end of his pistoning dick.

“Almost,” you promise vaguely, but Hyunjin knows exactly what you mean.

His hand meets yours between your legs to lightly knock it out of the way and take over. He uses the pad of his middle finger to pick up where you left off, and the sensation - the utter thrill - of being touched by him hurtles you that much faster toward the edge, even though he's not familiar with your preferred technique yet.

“Come with me, baby, please, I need to fucking feel it. Shit, I’m so fucking close, please come with me,” he begs and babbles breathlessly.

You put your fingers over his to guide him through a few more rotations around your clit. That, coupled with another series of perfectly aimed thrusts of his rigid cock, finally send you toppling into white hot, nerve-racking, spine-crumpling abyss. You climax with a mighty clench and a cry that rips from your vocal chords just before you can suffocate it in your pillow.

“Sh-shit Y/N! You’re seriously coming on my- oh, fffffuck!”

Hyunjin lets go of your clit in a rush to grab your hips with both hands again to brace himself against the onslaught of his own explosive orgasm. You can feel his cock lurch where he’s buried it deep in your clamped walls at the moment of his release. Wave after wave trembles his frame, sending him shivering behind you as his orgasm rolls on and on for so long you almost become concerned.

Eventually, he gives you a comforting squeeze and pants, “You didn’t… you didn’t fake that, did you?”

You can’t help but laugh in pure amusement. “What, my orgasm? No, that was definitely not fake. You made me come so hard, Hyunjin,” you admit shamelessly.

“Okay, just checking,” he laughs back. “It’s just that I couldn’t see your face and-... but it still felt really-... that was so… wow.”

You don’t have it in you to comment on his eloquence - or lack thereof, rather; you don’t exactly have words for what’s just happened either.

He draws his cock from your still-quivering pussy and gets up on wobbly legs to trash the condom in your adjoined bathroom while you slump to your side and swipe the back of your hand across your clammy forehead, swallowing hard to bring some normalcy back to your erratic breathing and thundering heart.

Hyunjin returns with a towel in hand. You wearily lift an arm to take it from him, but he’s already coaxing your legs open to dab carefully at the stickiness smeared between them.

“So sweet,” you joke, finding the energy to tease him after all.

He looks at you and smiles. “It’s cute that you think I’m being sweet when I’m actually just getting a better look at your pussy because I didn’t before.”

He spreads your lower lips apart with his fingers and raises an eyebrow in approval of their sticky, swollen state, to which you gasp in mock offense and swat at his arm. He snickers and drops the towel aside, then climbs back into bed with you.

“I can be sweet, though, if cuddling is an option.”

You open your arms to showcase cuddling is in fact an option, and he sinks his head into a cozy spot beneath your chin. The crown of his golden head smells like apricots, you notice. You gently tug off the elastic band in his hair and roll it onto your wrist before shaking out the freed strands. He hums drowsily as you play with his hair.

After a while, he murmurs, “I should probably go kick everyone out and apologize to Jisung before I fall asleep.”

Again, you giggle. “Shit, I should apologize to him, too. If he’s still out there, that is. If anyone’s still out there. We may have scared everyone off.” You strain your ears for a moment to try and pick up on any more laughter and chatter out there, but all you can hear is the music now.

“You were pretty loud, babe,” Hyunjin points out.

You dig your fingertip into his cheek playfully. “And I’m sure you’ll be bragging about that for weeks to come.”

“Me? Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Despite the plans he was making to get up and leave the room, Hyunjin draws his arms tighter around your middle and remains right where he is. A while longer passes before he asks softly, “Can I sleep here with you tonight, or would that be weird?”

“Hey.”

He tilts his head to look at you.

“Don’t overthink things,” you tell him, tucking some of his hair behind his ear. “I meant it when I said I wasn’t planning on this being a one-time thing, and I think you meant it when you said you didn’t want it to be either, but we can make this whatever we want. It doesn’t have to be complicated, okay?”

“Okay,” he agrees.

Hyunjin leans his face in but hesitates when he notices that you don’t close your eyes in preparation for his kiss. You smile and pull him in the rest of the way, and he smiles back against you, eyes on yours.

When he pulls back, he licks his lips and says slowly, “So… I can sleep here with you tonight then?”

You laugh loudly and shove him away. “Go make sure everyone got the hell out of our apartment, then get your ass back here.”

---

if you enjoyed, please consider re-blogging and/or leaving me some feedback. take care! ♡

copyright © 2023 by daizymax. all rights reserved. back to masterlist

[awesomesauce-abbie]

Braving the storm

Word Count: 991

TW: None

A/N: Hello! This is my first time writing for Lotor and my first time writing for over a year so please feel free to leave any constructive criticism and let me if you enjoyed the post! Requests are closed as I can’t guarantee I’ll be posting frequently.

You and Prince Lotor had landed on an unknown jungle planet in hopes of finding food and shelter. The sinclince ship was fine but not exactly comfortable and your food supplies were nonexistent, purchasing them from a civilised planet was out of the question now that Lotor was labelled a traitor to the Galra Empire. His generals had abandoned him but not you, your loyalty to the prince was unshakable and was your love for him even if it was possibly unrequited. Lotor was a brilliant fighter and an even better strategist who unlike most Galra had a heart and cared about the lives of others including the lives of the planets he once conquered. He was so different from his monster of a father and was now wanted dead because of it. How lonely he must be you thought to yourself, even if your heart was broken you were glad to have stayed by his side.

You were distracted from your thoughts as Lotor approached you. “Here, it's not much but you should eat” The Galran prince held out a large unusual-looking fruit, it looked like an apple but it was the size of a melon, square-shaped and cobalt blue. “Thank you, sir” you smiled politely and took the fruit. “Oh come now, it's just the two of us. There is no need for titles” Lotor chuckled before taking a bite out of his space apple. “Sorry, I’m not used to addressing you so formally si-Lotor” you quickly corrected yourself, something that Lotor didn’t miss. He chuckled again, the noise was music to your ears. It was so rare for him to have a genuine smile let alone a real laugh, you committed the sound to memory lest you never heard it again. You had been staring at him for a few minutes now as you quietly munched on your fruit, you looked up to the sky and immediately frowned. The clouds, which had been white and fluffy less than an hour ago, were now a dark grey. “Looks like we’ll have a storm tonight” you muttered miserably “yes, we’ll have to find some kind of shelter. The sincline ship aren’t exactly comfortable but I did spot a small cave not far from here, it should be satisfactory for tonight.”

You both finished your food which was surprisingly filling despite its small size before gathering the few supplies you had and headed to the cave. It was small but it was dry and on higher ground so there was little chance of getting flooded. Lotor made a small fire just as the rain started but then there was the sound you dreaded most. Booming thunder, you thought your eardrums were about to burst. The horrid sound made you jump and you covered your ears just as the sky was lit up by a flash of lightning. You were shaking like a leaf, oblivious to the worried stares Lotor was giving you. The rain pounded on the roof of rock and the thunder only seemed to be getting louder, it wasn’t long before you were trembling and on the verge of tears. Lotor moved over to you and carefully placed a hand on your shoulder, you flinched at his sudden touch but looked up at him. Before he could get another word in, the thunder boomed again and you practically jumped into Lotor’s arms. He held you tightly for a few moments, a soft smile on his face. “It’s alright darling, you’re safe here with me” he said soothingly almost in a whisper before using one hand to cover an ear and pulled you into his chest. His gloved hand offered more protection from the storm, you focused on his heartbeat as you found it soothing and soon enough the calming rhythm lulled you to sleep.

When you woke the next morning, Lotor still had his arms wrapped around you. The storm passed, the sun shined brightly in the morning sky and it was a peaceful start to the day. You tried to sit up without waking him up but your efforts were in vain. He opened his eyes with a tired groan and looked over at you with a small smile. “Good morning, sleep well?” He asked, sitting up and moving away to give you space. You tried not to show the sadness on your face as you nodded. “I did thanks to sir, I appreciate what you did for me.” Lotor smirked at you “I told you to drop the titles or do you not remember? Never mind that I’m glad I was able to help you brave the storm and I will happily do it again for you.” Your heart pounded as he moved closer to you, any closer and you’re sure he would be able to hear your heartbeat. “T-that’s very generous of you Lotor” You smiled bashfully as you looked down to avoid his gaze. He reached out and cupped your chin in his hand and lifted your head up. “It’s the least I can do for the person who stolen my heart” he leaned in and kissed you. It was soft, delicate, you thought you were still asleep and having the most wonderful dream but you opened your eyes as Lotor’s warm lips were on your own. He pulled away shortly after, the kiss had been real and it had been perfect.

“You stole my heart long ago, my precious starlight but with so many eyes on us I feared that you would be in danger if you ever discovered how I truly feel about you. You understand don’t you?” Lotor was anxious as he asked but all you could do was smile. “Of course I understand, Lotor your heart isn’t the only that was stolen” you chuckled, his face broke out into a grin as he kissed you once more and you knew that you could brave any storm with Lotor at your side.

[tojiscumdumpster]

CHAPTER FOUR - TOJI

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀✧ summary page

content warnings -  reader is sexually as*aulted in this chapter. she's drunk and another guy is too touchy while dancing together on the floor.

  The music and the noises from the party goers fade the moment me and Y/N steps inside the utility closet. This wasn’t the ideal spot I had in mind, but anything will do so as long she’s here with me. 

 I could be standing on top of a fifty feet tower, and I wouldn’t give a damn if I knew Y/N was there, too. 

 Now, fuck my job. Fuck the bachelorette party. Fuck that annoying Gojo shithead and everybody else. All my attention is to the outrageously sexy woman that stands in front of me that can’t keep her eyes to herself. Even under the dull light of the utility closet, she has this soft glow to her deep umber complexion that’s salivating. 

 Her hands find purchase on my chest to become familiarized with the feel of me. Slow and delicate strokes that build arousal in my cock and burn heat on the tip of my ears. Essentially, I wanted to take her somewhere alone so I could fuck the shit out of her, but this tenderness feels… much needed. 

 I hate that I’m craving softness right now when I’m hornier than a virgin. Still, with how I’ve been thinking about Y/N lately. I can’t deny that I want this to be more than just a fuck. 

 She balances on her toes to meet with my lips because heels or not, I still have a lot of height over her. The kiss she gives me is sensual. Controlling yet needy for some type of touch. I’m quick to take the lead, but this time, I allow her to explore the inside of my mouth. 

 Y/N wraps her arms around my neck and loses her slender fingers into my locks to pull me closer to her. I want to tell her that I’m not fucking going anywhere, but we both know that’s not the reason why she deepens our kiss. My tongue is caught between her lips to suck on eagerly while my hands work their way to her ass. 

 There goes that sweet, sounded whimper that fucking drives me insane. No matter how she breathes, laughs, talks—hell, fucking blinks, she’ll always unintentionally find a way to make me hard. 

 Y/N breaking from our kiss almost had me whining like a brat, but seeing her plumped lips, gloss smeared across her face like the first night we met, is a sight worth seeing. 

 “It’s you,” she says softly, smiling. 

 “It is. Thought I’d never see you again.”

 “You missed me, Toji Fushiguro?”

 I give her a half grin because yes, I feel too sappy to admit that I miss her, but I do. “Possibly.”

 “A touch one to crack, Mr. Fushiguro.”

  Say my name like again and I will fuck you until you lose all feeling in your hips. 

 “Not really lovey dovey,” I admit.

 “Understandable,” —she leans into the counter behind her— “May I ask why?”

 Assuming that her stilettos are wearing her out, I lifted her onto the counter so she could sit comfortably. I took it upon myself to stand between her legs, having them both straddle my sides and if feels so damn right to be here. 

 Before I answer Y/N’s question, I peck her lips a few more times, then nip at her jawline, causing her to squeal and swat my chest. 

 “Comfortable?” I query. 

 “Are you comfortable? If I was any lower your dick would be rubbing against my pussy.”

  Fuck . 

 The corners of my mouth tips up. “Alcohol makes your lips loose like that?”

 “Maybe.”

 I hum. “Well, to answer your earlier question, I haven’t really felt shit since my wife died. It’s like the last bit of decency went with her or it’s kept for my kid.”

 “You don’t think you’re a decent guy?”

 “No, I don’t think . I know I’m not, Y/N,” I tell her. 

 “I think otherwise.”

 “Tell me.”

 “Want me to stroke your ego?” she asks, teasingly. 

 “Hm, that, amongst other things.”

 “You always find a way to be a perv.”

 Y/N goes into deep thought while thinking of a way to answer my question. She looks into the ceiling but occasionally takes glimpses at me, seeing how I have a small smile on my face. 

 There’s a possibility that my “Not into lovey dovey shit” admission was a half lie. Fifty percent of me just want to have my way with her and pound her pussy. Then, the other fifty percent wants to be possessive and controlling to make sure no other fucker tries to push up on her. 

 A hundred percent of me? Well…

 “It might be a reach, but from the two times that we crossed paths, you have a tendency to say how shitty of a guy you are. But really, you’re just trying to scare people away,” she deciphers. “Maybe so you don’t catch feelings, or they don’t. Maybe even both. I’m not a therapist, so who knows?”

 I simpered. “And from the two times we crossed paths, you tell me you’re not a therapist, yet you say some deep shit like that—again.”

 “I majored in psychology when I was in college. Therapist in the making, but I decided to be a teacher instead.” Her hands return to my chest and glide up until she reaches my shoulders to rub. “You want me to be scared of you, Toji Fushiguro… I’m not scared of you.”

 For once, I’m left… speechless. What the fuck am I supposed to say to that? That’s she’s right? Because maybe she is. I just can’t admit to that. At least, not right now. It’s so loud yet quiet in my head, like my senses zeroed in on the muffled noises on the other side of the door and Y/N’s soft breathing. 

 I can’t blame everything on wanting her to be scared of me. That would be cowardly of me. But I’m not vulnerable enough to admit that I can’t go through that again-this again, with losing someone I got close to.

 “Well, you should be,” I replied harsher than I intended to. I know Y/N felt it too because she flinched a bit and curled her fists into her lap.

  Shit, great job, Fushiguro. 

 This just feels too deja vu-ish. 

 “I said something that pissed you off?”

 I step away from her and run my hands through my hair. “No, fuck. Just… I don’t know, Y/N. I don’t know you. We don’t know each other.”

 I can’t tell if that was hurt, anger or a mixture of both in her eyes. But whatever it is, was caused because of my words. 

 “You’re absolutely right, and it’ll probably stay like that, too,” she bites back. “Excuse me. I have a party to attend.” Y/N brushes past me to leave the closet, but I grab her wrist. 

 “Y/N.” Is all I say. I don’t know what else to fucking say, but I’m hoping she hears the desperation in my voice. 

 She looks over her shoulder. “I don’t know you. You don’t know me.” Snatching her wrist back, she leaves me in the room to leave me with my thoughts. 

 I never had the urge to walk out of work until now. Not when Gojo fucking talk my ears out. Not when the nightclub owner bosses me around a little too much for my liking. And not when I get puked on by some random woman after a failed attempt of hitting on me. 

 But at this moment, if I don’t walk out of work, at least, the floor, I will be charged with murder. Because why the fuck is Y/N on the dance floor grinding her ass on some piece of shit? 

 I know she’s not my girlfriend, let alone casually dating, and I understand I said some stupid shit back in the utility closet. However, this? That? What I feel like doing right now is snatching that motherfucker up and thrash his face repeatedly into the ground.

 Anger flush throughout my body, and what makes me even more pissed is Gojo fucking snickering like a little bitch, knowing the reason why I’m mad to begin with. 

 The bachelorette party is still partially going, but most of the party either left or dispersed onto the first floor to dance. So, I’m back to my normal routine of walking the floors. 

 I mean, that’s what I'm supposed to be doing.

 Instead, I’m in the corner near the bar, leaving a comfortable distance between me and Y/N, but just enough to see how touchy this fucker is. And Y/N is drunk. Drunk as shit. In the past twenty minutes, I noticed her downing two cocktails and three shots. 

 Fuck, I just hope she’s not mixing her liquor. 

 She probably feels numb to his hands on her. Grabbing her waist. Kissing her neck with his nose. Rubbing his fucking dick against her ass. I want to kill him. So badly. I’ve never had blood lust like this until now. 

 And the split second that passes when he slithers his nasty fingers up Y/N’s dress to invade her privacy and take advantage of her intoxication, all bets are off. 

 My strides are long and quick when I push through the other drunken individuals to get to Y/N. I noticed that she detached from that shitface and faced him head on with a drunken smile of confusion, barely having any control over her body. 

 I’m now inches away from them both and I see that he tries to reach for her again, aggressively. Not quick enough before I grabbed him by his shoulder, turned him around, and punched the shit out of his jaw, that I felt crack against my knuckle.

 Some bystanders stop to stare, and others are too fucking drunk to care. But me? I want to make an example out of him. Though, for the sake of being in a public place, I don’t. 

 He’s on the floor, crying like a little bitch and looks at me like I’m his worst nightmare. Good, because I am. 

 I pull up my slacks to crotch down to his level, close enough so he can hear me over this loud music. 

 “You fucking psycho. I’m going to make sure you lose your job and go to jail,” he says. 

 I chuckle. “Funny, because the NDA you and everybody else in here signed before entering says, all security personnel can handle any party goer how they see fit that causes disruption, damage property, steal, coerce or attempt to sexually assault a drunken or sober individual, etcetera, etcetera, and all that other shit, so long as it doesn’t result in death.”

 Continuing, I say, “That woman behind us,” — I point to Y/N that watches me with heavy eyes— “is drunk. And that camera up there,”—I look up to the ceiling— “has been recording every fucking thing. So not only will you walk out of here with a broken jaw, but you’ll also end up in handcuffs. I advise you to pick your ass up and leave before the latter happens and I rearrange your face.”

 The motherfucker probably just made the wisest decision of his life because it takes him no less than three minutes to leave the club. I’m honestly surprised of the restraint I showed because quite frankly, I need this fucking job. No matter how much I hate it. 

 Though, what I didn’t expect was Y/N grinning at me with heart eyes. She’s really drunk. It’s like she’s in her own world and completely oblivious to what happened between us earlier and just now. 

 “My hero,” she giggles, slurring her words. She jumps on me and wraps her legs around my waist to give me a kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, Mr. Security Guard.”

 I shake my head. “Y/N, do you know who I am?”

 She lays her face in the crook of my neck and nips at my flesh. “Of course… How could I ever forget you, Toji… Fushiguro?” 

 Drunk, yes, but she manages to remember me. I know there’s a no touching guest policy when on the floor, however, Y/N is drunk. And she’s not just a guest to me, either. 

 I look at my watch to see that it’s twelve fifty-five. Five minutes before my shift is over. Thank fuck I’m not closing tonight because it’s time to cut Y/N off.

 Now. 

 She clings onto like a damn koala bear while I’m passing through to the crowd to head to the security locker room. Y/N is… clingy. Affectionate when she’s intoxicated. She keeps kissing around my neck, my face all while whispering nasty shit in my ear. 

 It’s not like I’m complaining. Every word and action she does goes straight to my cock. But of course, I’m not going to act on it. My main priority is to get her home safely. 

 “Toji, where are you going?” she asks. 

 “I’m going to the security room so I can change out of my clothes and take you home.”

 “Oh? You’re going to take off your clothes for me?” 

 I give her a kiss on the cheek. “Not like that, sweetheart. Maybe another night when you’re not drunk.”

  What type of hold does this fucking woman have on me? 

 I eventually got to the room and Y/N energy seemed to fade. When you’re drunk at one in the morning, that’s bound to happen. I wouldn’t be surprised if she got the munchies. Typically, that’s when you’re high, but either way. 

 Before I go to change, I place her on the couch we have in here and cover her with my sweater. She immediately dozes off. I need to hurry up out of my clothes before—

 “Fuck, tonight was exhausting,” Gojo fucking obnoxiously yells. I snap my head at him while standing in my boxers, a silent command to tell him to shut the fuck up. 

 “This is the girl Satoru was talking about?” Geto walks in behind and asks. “She’s pretty.”

 “And in what way was he fucking talking about her?”

 “Relax, Fushiguro,” Gojo says, raising his hands in innocence. “I just said she was hot and apparently off limits. I saw what you did to that guy's jaw. I’ll pass.”

 That’s what I fucking thought. 

 As much as I enjoy standing around and chatting with these two (I don’t), it’s time for me to take Y/N home. I walk over to her and her soft grumbles do something to my chest. She seems at peace, and I don’t want to ruin that, but I have to. 

 “Y/N, I’m going to pick you up again,” I warned her. 

 “Mhm.” 

 I take the keys out of her before I carry her bridal style, taking the employee exit that leads to the main parking lot. It’s annoying and might disrupt her sleep, but I need to sound off her alarm to know which one is her car. 

 It doesn’t take long for me to find it and she’s still sound asleep. 

 With one hand, I unlock the passenger door to Y/N’s car and place her in the seat, adjusting it so it leans back a bit. When I get in the driver seat, I look inside her purse (I know an invasion) to find her ID to put her address in the GPS.

 “Fifteen minutes. Not bad,” I mutter to myself. 

 The radio is off. The silence in the car is loud, and I enjoy the soft sounds of Y/N sleeping while we head to her place. 

 Y/N’s home is very her. Earth toned colors. Plants. Art on the wall. Plants—everywhere. I couldn’t imagine it to be like anything else. I’m even picking up her vanilla and warm berries scent that drives me fucking nuts. 

 She’s a heavy sleeper. I can tell because since we left the club, I moved her around several times, and she hasn’t stirred once. But the moment I lay her in bed and walk away, she does. 

 Like the loss of my touch is what’s affecting her.

 “Hey, big guy,” she mumbles. “Where ya going?”

 “Home.”

 She pouts. “You’re not going to help me get ready for bed?”

  I’ll do anything that will let me stay with you a little longer.  

 “What do you need me to do?”

 “Take me to the bathroom… please.”

 For the next thirty minutes, I prepare Y/N for bed. Part of her being drunk is getting a ten-minute explanation about her skin care routine. I don’t know what the fuck is a cleansing balm, toner, or retinol, but she managed to show me how to put it on her face after I washed off her makeup. 

 We go back into her bedroom, and she sits on the corner of the bed while I go through her dresser to find something comfortable for her to wear. She prefers an oversized tee shirt, so that’s what she’s getting. 

 “Y/N, this okay—” I turned around to see her completely naked. Beautiful breasts out with hardened nipples. A puffy pussy. Natural thick curves with a full stomach. My cock is reacting painfully.

 But this isn’t right. She’s drunk. Y/N has no idea what’s she doing right now, and I’m not taking fucking advantage of that. 

 I quickly turn back around and stretch my arm out so she can take the shirt out of my hand. “Here. Put it on now.”

 This night just feels longer than usual. I need to go, but I couldn’t even get through the room door before Y/N grabbed my wrist. 

 “Stay.”

 It throws me off, her asking me to stay. That one simple word didn’t sound like she was drunk or tired. And I know she’s clingy right now, but it’s more than that. It’s… the same declaration I was too pussy to say when we were in the utility closet. 

 I wanted her to stay. I didn’t want her to go back to the bachelorette party, and I didn’t give a damn to go back to my post. Being in that room with Y/N, just the two of us, felt like another world. And I hate that she makes me feel this way after only two times of meeting her. She’s just so comforting. 

 The word stay has so much meaning to it. I meant it earlier when I said I don’t know her and she doesn't know me, but I want to be around her as much as possible because the trust Y/N has in me—knowing where she lives. Driving her car. Protecting her. Caring for her before bed. It makes me feel even more possessive. 

 Me, the loss of my warmth from a motherfucker like me, stirs Y/N and makes her feel uneasy. Staying with her might spew out feelings, especially on my end, that will be difficult to sort out. But I don’t give fuck. I’ll figure that out later. 

 For now, if Y/N asks me to stay while looking at me with those pretty brown eyes, who am I to deny her?

 “Okay,” I answered. “I’ll stay.”

PREVIOUS CHAPTER | NEXT CHAPTER

[ramonag-if]

I wonder if we will have more chances to explore our relationship with our sibling don’t get me wrong I hate the mom and have my MC ignore the father but i have a weakness for children and i myself growing up as an only child I understand how it feels to just not have anyone but now I feel like giving Rana some attention and let her have a relationship with MC I want to see how it shapes along the way and would Rana respect MCs choice upon realizing MC wants nothing to do with her parents while still being there for her I can’t wait to also see the rest of the families reaction to the mother never reaching out. (Mc family is really going through it)

You made such an amazing story I also want to try and bring my story to life! Altho I’m at lost on the first step yo take on where I can begin my coding journey any tips? I know of choice script but it’s very different from Ichio I just want to learn and as well decorate which choice script lacks animation and color how did you first start off? Sorry for this long paragraph!

You will get a chance in Chapter 9, but I've also left out a lot of scenes which I refer to as unnecessary for the main plot but important for fleshing out. My main goal is to complete the full draft of the game before I flesh out the scenes I excluded so expect more time with Rana in the full release of the game 😊

itch.io is a hosting site, so you don't use it to code. I use Twine Sugarcube to develop the game, because it's quite nice in that you can customise the appearance of the game and add in music etc. I have used choicescript before which is not that difficult to learn, but if you do develop your game using choicescript, you can only publish your game through COG or Hosted Games for release (if you want to get paid for it) or you'll need to purchase the licence to publish it yourself if you intend on making a profit from the game. There's a ton of other resources to develop your game, but you'll find majority of IF writers on Tumblr use Twine or Choicescript. Twine is completely free to use and you can sell your game without needing a licence and it's fairly easy to learn once you get the hang of it.

You can find a ton of explanations for Twine Sugarcube here, here and here.

I used these guides for customisation - here.

These are the basics that will help you get started and I suggest doing a very small game first to practice coding and once you feel comfortable enough with how everything works, you can move on to creating your actual game.

I hope this helps! 😊

[serafilms]

just some of my fav content that kpop (boy) groups have put out (very specific!!!)

i spend many an hour on it (like actually just one hour) because i don’t want to work on my wips!!!

nct 127 hit the states: haechan x dallas

HAECHAN SILVER HAIR HAECHAN SILVER HAIR i will never shut up. this and purple and we go up brown/rainbow are his best looks idgaf. they’re just soo cute here and having so much fun and i can’t even believe how fun it looks :(( i wanna have a day like this

nct 127 hit the states: mark x vancouver

such a beautiful scenery and seeing mark be so happy in his hometown w the rest of 127 is so cute. taeil and jungwoo are so funny here too

boynextdoor pretty u cover

SLAYED! nothing more to say. i love bnd performances they ate down period.

beomgyu kids’ café on workman

the editing is so funny in this video PLS and the way the little girls all hated him but the boys were obsessed with him 😭 the café staff are so fun and nice too 👍 i love beomgyu sm

nct dream candy mv

no explanation required. once you candy you never stop candying. the cutest music video EVER i love it so much. nct dream mv’s always EAT. hello future, we go up, chewing gum, go, life is still going on (track video but still cute), hot sauce

txt lo$er=lover office attack version

so creative and fun and they look so good 😋

nct dream rooftop fight

so glad they actually did this bc i was waiting for it for so long 😭 they hyped it up for so many years did NOT disappoint. nct will never not be funny.

stray kids fancy cover

THE WAY I ACTUALLY FORGOT THIS HAPPENED UNTIL JUST NOW WHEN I WAS GOING THROUGH MY YOUTUBE PLAYLIST. omg we moved on too soon

boynextdoor funnextdoor

i’m actually in the process of watching it rn but i’m actually so amazed at how genuine and funny they are?? usually a lot of groups (excluding survival show groups) take a while to warm up to the cameras and talk to them and be natural around them and their members in front of them, but you can really tell how comfortable bnd are with each other and even though they’re warming up the the cameras, they’re so cute about it and so natural and outgoing that it’s not awkward at all and so fun to watch! and on that note….

boynextdoor what? door!

they’re so funny omg also bc why are hybe editors so slay?? will never stop promoting bnd (+zb1!!! love riize too but they have sufficient hype tbh i need bnd appreciation!! 5th gen boy groups let’s gooooo)

zerobaseone zbtv

ok so this list actually isn’t specific anymore but can u blame me. they’re so funny in all of the episodes how am i to choose just one. zb1 are quite literally one of the absolute funniest groups I’ve ever seen. love them sm PLEASE stan before they disband 😞

eunchae star diary with sunghoon and heeseung

EUNCHAE !!!!! she’s so cute i love eunchae star diary 😭 this was more awkward than the jake ni-ki one tbh but it was really cute too 👍 and the way sunghoon kept trying to weasel out the tea from her like leave that girl alone hoon 😭😭

honourable mentions to the kyujin and hiyyih episodes too!! bc it’s so fun to see eunchae with her friends

en o’clock episode 12

the one where they did like the high up line training course thing idk what it’s called and they were wearing camo print like military ish stuff idk man but it’s so funny and their early days r so cute

en o’clock episodes 32 and 33

the irl among us episodes 😭😭

boys planet jelly pop

MY GODDDDDD JELLY POP ZHANG HAO I LOVE U SM. i wish he liked women and was 4 years younger and went to my uni. i purchased many zhang hao pc’s recently. jelly pop my #7 most played song in spotify. i watched it too many times. saved so many edits. ilysm king.

txt idol human theatre when they went to that house

the way the managers lifted taehyun out of the pool gets me every single time 😭😭😭

txt idol human theatre during blue hour era

my fav idol human theatre episode EVER. so funny and i love blue hour era sm‼️

stray kids family 3rd anniversary

skz with wigs will never not be iconic. and why did jeongin and felix lowkey devour acting elderly like???

to do x txt flying yoga episode 83

i love this episode so much actually omfg PLEASEE they’re so funny 😭 kpop idols doing any kind of strenuous movement exercise is my favourite content ever

to do x txt self defense episode 104

this one is CRIMINALLY underrated actually. wdym both parts don’t have 1 million views at least? can’t tell you how many times i had to rewind bc i was enjoying it so much 🫶🫶 i have plans to rewatch this soon so i also can learn some self defense moves.

run bts episode 55

this whole trip starts from ep 53 but them slapping each other’s asses and trying not to laugh is one of the funniest things i’ve ever watched actually,, this was one of the first run bts vids i watched on vlive and it brings me back when i see clips of it 😢

the nct show (nct 2020 but in 2022)

i love LOVE when nct all gets together :( nct 2018 and nct world 2.0 !!!! everything happens for a reason and sungchan and shotaro belong in riize but this video is so fun and they’re all so cute together!! field day episodes!!!!!! this and hybe game caterers fr

007” 00” the nct show

same as previous with extra emphasis on I LOVE THE 00 LINE HOKY FUCK. yangyang ❤️❤️❤️ i need to watch more wayv content i miss him

upper side dreamin’ halloween version behind the scenes

sunoo dancing to mama at the end is peak editing. enha vs ghosts let’s go!!! they’re all so cute and funny in this 🥳🥳 the way ni-ki abandoned the camera man bye 😭

txt magic island mv

words cannot express how much i miss the dream chapter: magic era. how i wish i could find a song that makes me feel the way run away and magic island do. the things i’d do to listen to that album for the first time omfg!!!! anyways this mv and the run away mv make me so emotional like 😭😭😭 also old bts txt lore used to be so confusing to me like i would spend soo so long trying to figure it out

anyways that’s it bc youtube search and sorting history filters are ass so i can’t find many more but i hope at least 1 person finds a new video to watch from this.

[lgcparker]

𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚞 𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕 𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚍𝚒𝚘

It takes some time for Parker to even come up with rules for his studio. It’s not because he doesn’t believe in them, but more so because he’s normally not someone who is bothered by much, and even when he is, he has little problem with voicing his concerns. And so, he spends a good amount of time thinking about these said ‘house rules’ while he decorates. One of the first things up is a California flag, and some photos of his parents and sisters and their family dog. He buys a few organizers to display some of his favorite anime characters, as well as Lego bonsai tree he had seen at Seunghyun’s house and thought was funny because of the frogs. 

He’s halfway through putting together the cherry blossom version of the bonsai tree when he decides on the first reasonable rule: 

(1) Swiper, no swiping: don’t take shit you don’t plan on returning. 

The second rule materializes when he’s basically done and is deciding where exactly he’d like the piece to rest. 

(2) Outside food must always be for sharing unless stated otherwise. 

Keeping in mind how tight the space is, Parker ends up buying a plastic container to keep some backup clothes like socks, underwear, sweats and a fresh t-shirt or two. The thought process is more practical than anything else; he spends a good amount of time at the company, and sometimes, he could really do with a change of clothes or something more comfortable to change into should he decide to spend time in his studio after schedules. It’s practical. 

The top of the plastic drawers ends up being a good place to put a Bluetooth speaker he bought sometime the year before. The studio itself is pretty decently set up to write and record music, but even then, Parker wants a more casual way to listen to something off his phone. It’s about then that a third rule pops into his head: 

(3) No music hate. Any and all music is allowed as long as the vibes are good. 

There a moment where wonders if he has the means to put in a small mini fridge for water or a kettle to boil water. He ends up finding a small fridge that works with the space, but the kettle topic is something he feels like he needs to ask his manager, something he manages to forget again and again. Even when he’s just about to bring it up, he gets distracted, and somehow, he ends up purchasing a humidifier instead. 

(4) Opinions are welcome but being a dick is strictly forbidden. If you can’t help yourself, you can put yourself on a time-out. 

As expected, settling on a fifth ‘rule’ seems harder than coming up with every other one before it. It isn’t until one day, when Parker is lying on the small couch of the studio, staring at the small pile of cardboard he very desperately needs to break down and take to the recycling, that he lands on something reasonable. 

(5) I’m not your mom; don’t leave stuff here, and clean up after yourself. 

He hardly thinks his friends are the types to take advantage of him, and if little things get forgotten, Parker isn’t the type to make a big deal about it, but it seems fair enough, even as just a warning. He’s being gifted this space from the company, so shouldn’t he take some pride in it? 

That thought is at least enough to get up to roll off the couch and start breaking down boxes. Surely, his manager (and his mother) would be proud. 

[bettermiya]

hi! i hope you doing great! <3

I was wondering can I have a haikyuu matchup please?

i’m a girl, 18, aries, enfp, my pronouns are she/her. i could be really shy sometimes due to my bad anxiety, but mostly i’m very sweet and bubbly person, i deeply care about my friends, and i’m super affectionate with people who i love. also, my love language is physical touch!!! i’m also very sensitive and emotional person, but i’m fully open with my feelings only with close people in my life. my height is 5’5, i have a petite figure, have some boob, long brown hair and green eyes, i would describe my style as a hyperfeminine, but i also love to dress cozy! i’m polyglot and i speak 6 languages, and i’m studying linguistics in uni. my other passions are makeup, cinematography and music ofc! i’m obsessed with rabbits and bunnies and all the bunny-themed items! i love cute things, such as clothes, accessories, makeup, stuffies and etc. my ideal partner is someone tall and protective, who would take care of me and be attentive to me and my feelings! and also someone who would cuddle me a lot <3

hope it’s okay! sorry for my grammar, english isn’t my first language. i hope you have a nice day <3

You should have come to Shiratorizawa, because your match is Ushijima Wakatoshi.

He finds you wildly intelligent and is fascinated by your mastery of languages. He tells you as much, too. There is no flattery in his words. Whatever he says, he means entirely.

Details do not escape his notice. It only takes one throwaway comment, one item you purchase on a whim while you both are together, one longing look through a shop window. He buys you a weighted bunny plush (both as a way to help with your anxiety and because he has noticed your love of bunnies). He finds old books in the languages you know and brings them to you. He finds a particularly soft cardigan to offer you during the cooler months. He saw once where owners of small animals will tie balloons around them to keep track of them while they roam about the house. This has stuck with him. Sometimes he will buy you balloons to tie to your wrist when you are both out in crowded areas together. He does not want to lose his cute, small person.

He is very attuned to your feelings, even if he does not speak much. He will hold your hand in crowds and draw circles on the back of your hand with his thumb to help distract you. If a situation arises in which you are too anxious to speak, he will do so for you. It is easier for him to talk when it is for you. He will always step between you and danger.

“You have accomplished so much already, but you are just beginning. Don’t stop.”

There will be times when you need to actively pull him over for cuddles, but there will also be times when he seeks you out or notices you are in need of them. He is a very meticulous sort and will make sure there are just the right amount of pillows and blankets and plushies. (Are you dressed comfortably? Do you need cozy socks? Do you want a hot drink? Snacks?) When everything is in place, he will hold you or let you hold him. He understands on a practical level that physical contact is necessary and comforting, but after a while, he grows to enjoy it for the simple pleasure of being close to you.

[survey--s]

446.

When you opened your eyes this morning, what were your first thoughts? I was just wondering what the time was, I think. Then I went back to sleep, lol. Is there anyone that you feel owes you an apology? If so, what has that person done? Nah, not at the moment. What’s the most unhealthy thing you’ve eaten recently? I don’t know, I’ve been trying my best to eat better. I had a couple of chocolates yesterday though - I’m just slowly working my way through everything I got given for Christmas, haha. Be honest. Have you had any dirty thoughts today? Nope. Do you remember the last dream you had about the person you love/like? No, I don’t remember. My dreams have been really odd lately.

What is one thing in the room you’re in that reminds you of somebody? I mean, everything in here reminds me of my husband as it’s our house and we live together, lol.

Could you ever be friends with somebody who was homophobic? Nope.

Would you ever want to be a supermodel, or date one? Nope. I don’t really “get” that world at all. Honestly, have you ever made fun of somebody so bad they cried? I hope not. Honestly, would you rather be complimented on your looks or intelligence? Honestly, I’m not going to be picky. A compliment is a compliment. Have you ever purchased a pregnancy test, for yourself or otherwise? Yes.

How did you meet your best friend? Did you like them at first? We met online on a dating website, lol. I liked him from the first message he sent me because he actually seemed interested in me and never once turned the conversation dirty. Do you find it harder to apologize or to accept apologies? Apologise.  Have you ever had toilet paper stuck to your shoe? Sure. You can get one thing, anything, for free right now. What do you pick? Why? A house with enough land and space for a horse, lol. Have you ever tried writing with the opposite hand? How good/bad was it? Yeah - it was legible but I found it really difficult. Would you try to frame somebody else if your mom committed a murder? I can’t imagine my mum EVER doing something like that, honestly - she’s like the least violent person I’ve ever met. Honestly, have you ever danced naked? Sure. What was the first illegal thing that you did? Did you get caught? Downloading music - and no, because - well, nobody did lol. Sex, menstruation, or puberty - which is the most uncomfortable subject? I don’t really find any of them uncomfortable. What does the comforter on your bed look like? Did you pick it out? Our duvet cover is purple - and yes, I did. When you picture flowers in your head, what color are they? Yellow, pink, white and purple. The last time you went to the mall, what did you go for? I haven’t been in over a year, lol. We just went for something to do. What do you plan to do tomorrow? Nothing much - maybe go for lunch if the weather is nice and I can be bothered to go out and get dressed.

Do you ever just feel like you need to be alone for some reason? Yeah, about 75% of the time is ideal lol. If you got paid $5 per survey you made, could you make a living just doing that? Hmm, I think I’d get really bored doing them all day, everyday. They’d be a great way to supplement my income though! The last time you went out of the house, where were you going and what did you do? I was at work all day yesterday - six dog walks and to my in-laws to drop off and collect my own dog lol.

When was the last time someone cancelled plans on you? Were you annoyed? I can’t remember - it must have been before Christmas. I don’t really remember being annoyed. Would you ever want to go on vacation with just one of your parents? Sure, we did that all the time growing up. It was nice. In summer, do you prefer to wear dresses or shorts and tops? Or maybe something else? I prefer wearing dresses but they’re not very practical for my job, so I tend to go for shorts and t-shirts. Has someone ever tried to start an argument with you over Facebook? What happened? Sure, I tend to just ignore them lol. When you’re at home, do you spend most of your time in your room? No, I generally spend all my waking hours in the living room.

If you like to sleep in late, have your parents ever told you off for doing so? No. As long as I was up for work/school, I could do what I liked pretty much. How much stuff do you take with you when you go on vacation for a week? Too much, lol. Could you willingly live on a vegan diet? Nope. If you’re an only child, do you wish you had siblings? If you have siblings, do you get along? I always wanted an older brother when I was growing up, but as an adult it seems much easier to be an only child. How long have you had the shirt you’re wearing? Uh, about four years I think. When’s the last time you straightened your hair? Just before Christmas. Do you find piercings attractive? That depends on the person. How many cigarettes have you smoked today? Zero. Have you seen the movie or show Catfish? Nope. Do you think it’s attractive when guys wear beanies? It depends on the person but in general, yeah, I think they look good. Do you own a black leather jacket? Yes. Are you a seafood fan? Certain seafood, yeah. I like squid, prawns, crab, clams and lobster - not a fan of mussel or oysters. Do you prefer dark, brown or white chocolate? Milk or dark.

[purplesurveys]

1675

When you opened your eyes this morning, what were your first thoughts? It was actually my mom’s voice that woke me up and the first thing I thought of was holy shit I’ll be late for my dentist appointment.

Is there anyone that you feel owes you an apology? If so, what has that person done? Nah I don’t like having beef with anyone.

What’s the most unhealthy thing you’ve eaten recently? I got a KFC Double Down last night that I actually wasn’t able to finish because heartburn LOL. It’s still in the fridge; I might have the rest of it tomorrow as I don’t feel like having it right now.

Be honest. Have you had any dirty thoughts today? Yes.

Do you remember the last dream you had about the person you love/like? I’m not interested in anyone.

What is one thing in the room you’re in that reminds you of somebody? I have a leftover slice of coffee cashew cake here and at most it reminds me of my mom as she likes sans rival, which also has cashews.

Could you ever be friends with somebody who was homophobic? That’s not even something to be discussed – no.

Would you ever want to be a supermodel, or date one? When I was in Grade 6 I wanted to model because I had friends who used to obsess over VSFS and it was all they posted on their feeds and I thought, cool I kinda want to do that too. That died out pretty quickly.

Honestly, have you ever made fun of somebody so bad they cried? My brother when he was younger because he was the brattiest, crybabyest toddler to ever exist.

Honestly, would you rather be complimented on your looks or intelligence? I’ll take whatever. A compliment is always lovely to get.

Have you ever purchased a pregnancy test, for yourself or otherwise? Nah. I almost did when a friend got a pregnancy scare and she was too anxious to get a PT herself, but everything calmed down once she got her period.

How did you meet your best friend? Did you like them at first? I met her in Grade 1; we were seatmates. I was indifferent to her at first as I was a shy kid and preferred to mind my own business, but one day I accidentally stabbed her palm with a pencil and for some reason that actually brought us closer together rather than bring out a fight.

Do you find it harder to apologize or to accept apologies? Accept. I tend to hold grudges.

Have you ever had toilet paper stuck to your shoe? Most likely, yeah.

You can get one thing, anything, for free right now. What do you pick? Why? I’d love to get a whole new wardrobe with everything I’ve been wanting to buy and wear, from tops to sneakers.

Have you ever tried writing with the opposite hand? How good/bad was it? I’m sure we’ve all tried it at least once exactly to see how we’d fare, haven’t we? Hahaha it was terrible as expected; I don’t have a good grip with my left hand at all.

Would you try to frame somebody else if your mom committed a murder? I think I’d be way too much in shock to even think of doing things like that. You wouldn’t be able to count on me to do something about that situation.

Honestly, have you ever danced naked? Sure.

What was the first illegal thing that you did? Did you get caught? Idk, maybe illegally downloading music and movies.

Sex, menstruation, or puberty - which is the most uncomfortable subject? I don’t find any of those uncomfortable.

What does the comforter on your bed look like? Did you pick it out? It’s a BT21 comforter that Reena got me on my last birthday.

When you picture flowers in your head, what color are they? Lilac.

The last time you went to the mall, what did you go for? Picked up my new glasses. It was a really quick trip as I didn’t feel like doing anything else. All the coffee shops there were packed that day so I headed straight home.

What do you plan to do tomorrow? I have an event to manage – a track meet from 5 AM to around 11 AM. The rest of the day I plan to catch up on rest, but am thinking around dinner we’ll take mom out as it’ll be Mother’s Day.

Do you ever just feel like you need to be alone for some reason? Of course. I’d be impressed if there was anyone who needed to be around people absolutely 24/7.

If you got paid $5 per survey you made, could you make a living just doing that? For sure. Do you see how many I take? Hahaha.

The last time you went out of the house, where were you going and what did you do? That would be this afternoon – I went to a nearby coffee shop to finish some work, then right after I spent time in the car to basically break down and cry and scream because I hate that I had to work on a weekend and still have an event to get through tomorrow. Then I took the long way home so that I had more time to be alone and process my feelings.

When was the last time someone cancelled plans on you? Were you annoyed? Last December when Kaye and Lea bailed last minute from our pre-Christmas gathering. I do remember being a wee bit annoyed as it was like the third time in a row they canceled on us and I had been really excited to hand them their gifts, but I got over it quickly as there was no point in staying annoyed.

Would you ever want to go on vacation with just one of your parents? It would be nice to do it every now and then, yes. Especially with my dad as we don’t get enough time with him in the first place.

In summer, do you prefer to wear dresses or shorts and tops? Or maybe something else? I like wearing sleeveless tops; for bottoms I prefer to still be covered up, but instead of jeans I’d usually opt for something more airy so that it doesn’t feel too suffocating/uncomfortable.

Has someone ever tried to start an argument with you over Facebook? What happened? Yes, it was some Fil-am who was trying to convince me that Filipinx is an acceptable term. I just ignored them as at the end of the day we were going to have different opinions anyway and it wasn’t worth my energy and time.

When you’re at home, do you spend most of your time in your room? Yep because most of my time is spent working from home, which I do in my room.

If you like to sleep in late, have your parents ever told you off for doing so? No. I like that they differ from most Filipino parents in that they never called me out in the times I’d sleep in.

How much stuff do you take with you when you go on vacation for a week? I’m a big overpacker and like taking extra clothes with me as I tend to change my mind a lot; planning outfits in advance doesn’t work for me. So if I’m on vacation for, say, 4 days, I’d usually bring clothes good enough for 6 or 7.

Could you willingly live on a vegan diet? Sure if it comes down to it, but the food has to be prepped for me or I have to be rich enough to afford vegan meals because I can’t cook hahaha.

If you’re an only child, do you wish you had siblings? If you have siblings, do you get along? I get along great with my sister.

How long have you had the shirt you’re wearing? Less than a year.

When’s the last time you straightened your hair? I was around 12.

Do you find piercings attractive? Eh, it’s a hit or miss.

How many cigarettes have you smoked today? None.

Have you seen the movie or show Catfish? I haven’t.

Do you think it’s attractive when guys wear beanies? Sometimes it is, sometimes it isn’t. I don’t really feel strongly towards beanies.

Do you own a black leather jacket? Nope.

Are you a seafood fan? Yesssss. I don’t really like cooked fish but I can still have it. Everything else is great. Do you prefer dark, brown or white chocolate? Milk or white.

[vaovalis]

I heard part of this song while I was out getting pastries. The nearby bakery always has music playing in their shop, and I’ve taken to sometimes sitting there and listening to it while I eat whatever I’ve purchased today. This one grabbed my attention. When I got home, I looked it up and I’ve listened to it now on repeat for some hours.  I do not hear myself in this one. This could be a song about me from someone else’s perspective though; from the perspective of someone that cannot do what I do, go where I go or know what I know.  Someone that wants to care about me, but cannot hope to keep up with me. I wonder how many people have felt like that towards me? I can’t know. A few, I’m certain. Maybe more than I’d be comfortable with if I truly knew.   Songs like this do not always have kind things to say to me.  This song feels like he is telling me to slow down sometimes and not leave everyone behind.  It reminds me to remember just how single-minded I am, and that it makes me very selfish when I get carried away on the winds of just whatever my plans for myself are for a given interval. It’s never enjoyable, to be reminded of one’s character flaws and defects, but it is sometimes needful, especially with someone like me.  A song like this is a favor in disguise, like a friend that will tell you the truth even when it sucks and you won’t want to hear it. It must be a common reminder that many of the metas here need and maybe don’t think about as often as they should where their relationships with unpowered friends and family are concerned, because a lot of what I found on the internet about this song was attached to music videos showcasing behavior just like I’ve been guilty of throughout my life. I could fly from a very young age, and go where others never could both for that and because the radiation in storms and desolate ruins alike was merely something for me to be cautious of in the worst of its cases.  Most of the radiation was just Fire being stuck where it shouldn’t have been, and it wouldn’t harm me at all.   Some of it was something foreign and not Fire at all, and that was the stuff I needed to be careful of...but I could go to such places and weather such storms with no worries even when I’d get a bit hurt sometimes.  I’d mend.   Others? Most often, they would have simply died to go where I could go.  I spent my entire young life flouting my clan, and my mother in particular, to go exploring. There was little they could do to stop me when I’d just go flying off if I didn’t like what they were telling me I had to do today, and sometimes I was quite the shit-ass little brat in my youth about these things. It’s easy to see it for what it was in hindsight, but at the time? At the time, I was preoccupied with reveling in my freedom to go and see and do.   It never occurred to me at all back then to think about anyone’s feelings beyond my own. I wasn’t like that much during the rebellion I began. No time for it. No desire for it. I was single-minded about that as well though. I never relaxed. I never slowed down.   My ex-friends often had to just about sit on me to get me to slow down enough for our followers to rest and mend when they needed to, because I am just as relentless in war as I am selfish when in pursuit of my whims and goals of the day. I didn’t need too many lessons in keeping my people rested and healthy when possible, but I did need those lessons.  I default to a relentless, selfish state too well and too easily, and this song is pulling no punches in letting me know that I know exactly how I am and that I ran out of excuses for it a long time ago. I know better now. I shouldn’t need anyone to sit on me or tell me to knock it off anymore.   I’m going to be adding this song to my ‘Shit I Need To Hear Sometimes’ playlist. It can do me nothing but good to have the occasional but consistent reminder to remember these things.

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

So I (finally!) bought a pair of really good noise cancelling headphones, and it has changed my life! It's the fanciest thing I've bought in years, so to recoup some of the cost, I’ve researched & written a little essay based on my experiences with extreme noise sensitivity.

Hypersensitivity to sound is something I’ve dealt with all of my life, but I only recently found out it's medically known a Hyperacusis. (Please note this is a separate condition from Misophonia.) If you consistently struggle to cope with noise, the info below could be helpful! I’m including a link to my ko-fi, and I will be answering questions in the notes.

(skip to the bottom to read fun facts about my tax return and/or street organs vendettas!)

DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional, this is based solely on my experiences as a patient, and on what I have read and been told by professionals. Please notify me if you have corrections or concerns about accuracy!

BACKGROUND: Sensitivity to sound is a common type of sensory issue. While anyone can experience such issues (most people, for example, might be bothered by loud music in a crowded restaurant), some people are more sensitive than others, to the point it becomes a quality-of-life aka a medical issue.

If you consistently struggle with environmental stimuli that other people aren’t bothered by (background noises, bright lights, certain textures and tastes, etc), to the point it causes daily discomfort or limits the environments you can be in, I recommend reading about Sensory Processing Disorder.

SPD and sound sensitivity are both super common in autistic folks (like me!), but allistic (non-autistic) people can experience them too. Weep, ye prisoners of mortal coil, for none are safe, nothing sacred, not in this thy most accursed tomb of human flesh!

Anyway.

SOUND SENSITIVITY or HYPERACUSIS: Noise issues are particularly difficult to navigate in a world that is increasingly...noisy. The relatively new phenomenon of constant overhead music in restaurants, grocery stores, shopping malls etc—all of this means that public spaces are increasingly inaccessible to people with auditory issues.*

As a kid, nothing quite triggered sensory overload/meltdowns for me like the constant exposure to noise I couldn’t control—the background chatter of other kids in the lunchroom, the constant noise in public spaces, being trapped in the car with the radio on.... I had so many fights with my siblings about the car radio, and who got to choose the music.**

But it’s not just loud sounds that are the problem. As an adult who lives alone and works from home***, I’m lucky enough to be able to avoid loud environments most of the time. This does wonders for my general levels of anxiety and discomfort. But even in a mostly controlled environment, I still experience problems. Because part of sound sensitivity is that even normal or quiet sounds can feel loud and intrusive. Here are some “normal” sounds that can cause me discomfort (ranging from annoyance to outright pain, depending on the day):

refrigerator/AC/ceiling lights humming

dishwasher/washing machine noises

ceiling fan making that damn ceiling fan noise

faint sounds of traffic

riding in a car

other people having a normal conversation in the background

someone talking to me in a perfectly normal inside voice

Unfortunately, even in a “controlled” environment, many triggering noises can’t be controlled. And many parts of life can’t be lived in a controlled environment. This presents...some incredibly freaking annoying problems. Luckily there are solutions!

Sorta.

There are sorta some solutions.

They are imperfect, but they help.

TREATMENT: And now I have something rather shame-faced to admit. In all the years of managing my symptoms, it never once occurred to me to see a hearing specialist for my issues with sound. I wasn’t even aware that treatment options exist, because none of my other doctors mentioned it. Instead, I’ve spent years finding my own coping mechanisms and tools, with help from therapists and psychiatrists, but without ever consulting an audiologist/ENT. It was only while researching this post that I found out that was even an option, holy shit.

So it turns out I am going to be making an appointment with my local ENT practice. shit.

Apparently treatment options include sound/acoustic therapy, systematic desensitization/exposure therapy, cognitive behavior therapy, sound machines, and other options that I had no idea even existed, goddammit.

MANAGEMENT: In the meantime, here are my current coping mechanisms. I’ve relied rather heavily on hearing protection, which is very useful when used in moderation. Unfortunately, it can cause its own problems: it’s important not to overuse hearing protection, because in the long-term this can increase your sensitivity. So again: a useful tool, but be careful not to overdo it.

With that in mind, here are some of the coping strategies I’ve used over the last decade to manage my symptoms. This is not a perfect system and you should contact your local ENT clinic for better, long-term solutions, but in the meantime here are some tips I use to just get myself through the damn day:

Regularly spending time in a quiet controlled environment, to allow my nervous system to decompress.

Wearing earplugs, (I use two different grade, depending on the level of noise prevention I need), and always carrying an extra pair in case I need them unexpectedly. I bought a 50 pack for $7 and put spares in all my bags and jacket pockets.

(I mostly use Mack’s Ultra Soft, but there are so many types and materials and brands, including foam, silicone, wax, custom moldable etc. Even if you have trouble wearing things in your ears, you might be able to find something comfortable.)

Similarly: hearing protection earmuffs, the kind used in gun ranges and on construction sites. I bought mine online for $10. they look like normal wireless headphones, so I've never gotten comments when wearing mine in public (other than “cool heaphones” bc i added skull glitter stickers).

Sometimes I wear the earmuffs on top of earplugs, when life is just too damn LOUD.

Listening to music w/ earbuds or headphones is a great way to balance out background noises, especially if you can find soothing playlists that help you concentrate. Also useful to put in just one earbud when you need to pay attention in class/at work.

Pro tip: if your hair is long enough you can wear wireless earbuds without anyone knowing.

White noise, rain noises, ocean noises etc can be helpful! Some people like whale songs although personally this activates my primal fear response

Active noise cancelling headphones: the reason I wrote this post to begin with—I finally bought a pair! As in, a really good pair! As in, a depressingly expensive pair with noise cancelling technology that actually WORKS, holy shit. I probably need to wear them a little less at home (bc overprotection causes problems in the longterm) but they have absolutely transformed my ability to go out in public and i never ever want to take these suckers off again please take a power screwdriver and nail these to my head, bury me in the sweet sweet shroud of silence. holy canoli and cream puffs I want to marry form a civil partnership with these headphones. Plus they have a bunch of features, like being able to control the level of noise cancellation, so I can hold a conversation or be aware of some ambient noise for safety reasons.

Oh, and also they play music I guess?

Sorry sorry I promise this post wasn’t supposed to be me shilling for Big Electronics. I’m just excited, I’m an excited flabby little ball of expired flubber. ANC headphones aren’t a perfect solution, and I still sometimes wear earplugs underneath, and I will always be uncomfortable some of the time, but for me it’s been a big step.

Unfortunately the cost of good quality ANC technology means this isn’t an option for everyone, and the (much cheaper) gunshot protection earmuffs I mentioned earlier still provide an impressive amount of protection and bang-for-your buck (maybe even an equal amount of protection, if you can find ones that fit well). But if noise consistently prevents you from enjoying public space and life in general, and you’ve already tried earmuffs & earplugs and find they don’t offer enough comfort/convenience/protection, and if you’re in a position to save up for a one time non-necessity purchase of $150+, noise cancelling headphones are an option to be aware of. (Please always check the return policy so you can try before you buy. I ended up buying and returning 2 pairs before finding what worked best for me. And please look for a retailer that offers an extended warranty. You want those motherforkers to last).

There are cheaper options available, including some under $50. The ones I tried didn't work as well as my hearing protection earmuffs, but some people report good experiences, so that is something to consider. it's always good to know your options! Passive noise canceling is another affordable alternative.

Medication: A final tool in my toolbox, which for me personally has helped as much as every other method combined. Like, a lot, it’s helped a lot. It turns out some anti-anxiety medications can also help sensory issues. There’s not much research on this, and I only discovered it firsthand when a medication my doctor prescribed for anxiety ended up significantly helping my sensory issues. I no longer need medication for anxiety, but my psychiatrist still prescribes that same medication off-label for my sensory stuff. Ask your psychiatrist to research your options (they will probably have to do some digging to find relevant research, but you deserve to know all your options, even the obscure ones). Fyi, the medication I use is in the benzodiazepines class, but there are other options for those concerned about dependency or side effects.

(I'm also told anti-anxiety supplements may be helpful, though I haven't tried this yet. If you're on prescription meds, always talk to your doctor about contraindications before taking anything over-the-counter.)

So there you have it, my main coping strategies for sound sensitivity! They are not a replacement for medical treatment (except that last one which is in fact...medical treatment), but I find them helpful and I hope some of you will too! I’ve struggled for a long time, and I’m very pleased to have reached the point where I can just do things in public. Eating out in loud restaurants? I can do that now, and even enjoy it, holy shit! I can comfortably travel in cars for hours at a time, and walk around shopping malls and grocery stores with overhead music, and, and —and just exist. It is so so freeing, to feel like maybe, after everything, you are actually allowed to just exist in a world that wasn’t really designed for you.

Again, be careful not to overuse hearing protection—the goal is to allow you to be less uncomfortable and to function better, but if you find you are becoming more sensitive to noise, it is time to dial it back a notch. Or maybe consider listening to music (at a reasonable volume) to block out background noise instead.

*(This also includes people with hearing loss and related issues, btw. While that’s not my area of knowledge, I would welcome it if any of my HoH followers want to share their experiences.)

**A sign of sensory issues that parents often miss is when a child complains about music being too loud—but has no problem listening to their own music at high volume. This is because music that is already familiar to the listener (and that the listener enjoys) is much easier for the brain to process, since it knows what pattern of sounds to expect. Loud music that they get to control can be soothing for people with sound issues, especially when it blocks out background noise and sensations. This is why repetitively playing the same songs can be a helpful form of stimming.

***(working on this blog, actually. since it’s my only source of income, my 2020 income tax return literally lists my occupation as ‘Tumblr Blogger.’ Oddly, my parent didn’t feel this achievement was worth including in the holiday family newsletter.)

bonus fun fact: Charles Babbage aka “father of the computer” may have been autistic and hypersensitive to sound. He definitely had a huge problem with public noise pollution, and spent his later year waging a war on street musicians (and organ grinders in particular).

(bc like, yeah. screw organ grinders.)

Sometimes when I’m out in public and the overhead music is particularly unbearable, I’ll take a moment to look up to the sky and scream out: “HE TRIED TO WARN US! THE FATHER OF COMPUTERS TRIED TO WARN US!!! we should have listened, sweet heaven we should have listened!”

except i don’t scream it, i say it very quietly under my breath

(i have issues with noise)

so yeah that is my short essay. and here is the ko-fi goal

k ciao i gotta go pick out glitter stickers for my headphones

[orleans-jester]

Rapunzel could never be Barbie. Her greatest aspiration was to become a social worker, and thank fuck that didn’t work out, or there’d be even more screwed up people out there. She settled quickly on being a mooch. He was still peeved by the fact that she had once talked to his work and got him a week off behind his back and then planned a whole trip to England. Spur of the moment plans? Great! Surprises? Sure! Making a man take a week off work when he was still new-ish to the job and use up all of the vacation days that he ever had, and rid him of the chance of making money that he could have used a lot more than a trip to see his mother? Nah, that’s not right, innit. He’s been stewing on that for near on twenty years.

Laughter was usually a good sign. It didn’t sound too manic. I didn’t exactly sound like the kind of laughter that usually covered up a cry either.

“I’m glad my former misery brings you such comfort,” Thomas said, though he was chuckling. It really was a whole lifetime ago. Plenty of wasted time. But he was making up for it now, wasn’t he? He was exploring the world with his favorite person by his side. Someone who would never put him through all of that annoying disney princess shit. “Practicing is one thing, but having some flouncy woman tell you that you aren’t moving right - oh, it was absolutely tragic. I know about rhythm, thank you very much.”

They were always going to be them. Marriage required being best friends throughout, it was even more important than the romantic aspect sometimes. Having each other’s backs no matter what, always keeping a couple of brews in the fridge to have a chat and bitch about life sometimes. That aspect wasn’t going way.

“Yes please,” He grinned. “Moltov cocktail that bitch, like old times.”

There were still a lot of times when he wanted to go back and time and beat himself over the head, like Rafiki to Simba with that big stick of his. Stop being so stupid. Stop being so pretty-girl-blind. Stop falling for the first person that seems to need you in any capacity. Doesn’t matter that it makes you feel like a big man, just makes you into a beta in the end. But alas, he only met one time traveller and he couldn’t take him that far back, so there was no point in dwelling on it too much. He had everything now. Better late than never.

“Not even a moment over,” He said, making his statement all the more dramatic, but he meant it. Flotsam had one of those ageless-type faces. It was beautiful. Maybe there was something to growing up with the swamp air and muds.

They didn’t need Kuzco in order for things to be musical. Thomas was a natural piano player and Flotsam - he was just skilled at everything else. This bursting out in song moment felt a bit like a musical but it wasn’t nearly as annoying as one. The turnip vendor was very happy with the big purchase and began bagging right away, not commenting on the singing because every good businessman knows that you don’t ask questions when money is being thrown at you.

It wasn’t really a song that he knew but he took part eagerly, watching, holding the stroller until Flotsam took his hand and they did a spin. Impromptu. Not choreographed. Not to Ed Sheeran. Just natural, like dancing was supposed to feel.

It was a good message too. And something that they both did. Enjoy each moment. Look forward to the next, but not at the expense of the present.

--

Thomas had out a knife, was carving the turnip carefully. It felt a lot different to a pumpkin. Most of the ones that he had seen while researching ideas came out looking like mummy heads, which was indeed spooky in its own right but he wanted a couple that were more just .. them.

“It’s no less crazy than when we started looking into properties on our honeymoon,” He said with a little shrug. These grand ideas - they didn’t seem outrageous. They seemed entirely within the realm of possibility. A dream they could reach. “Don’t celebrities do it all the time? I don’t see why we couldn’t. It is a gorgeous spot.”

Flotsam wasn't mad at Piper exactly. Shocked maybe, but only for a moment in that well damn kind of way, but also nothing could shock him anymore sort of numb. Part of him wanted to thank her while another part wanted to scream. Mixed emotions, but mad was never one of them and not one emotion was actually directed at Piper herself, just the land itself he put so much of himself into. Grief. That's what it was as he let it all burn away and heal those third degrees.

Rapunzel didn't come to mind much either for Flotsam truth be told. It was pretty rare too. Blondes didn't even trigger her image anymore unless they had a certain aesthetic maybe. The extremely ditzy or over smiley kind. It didn't even have to be pink necessarily. Pink itself was fine now too. Elsa could wear pink and she wouldn't look like a bubbly idiot. She always looked classy. So it's all in the presentation. Excessive being the key word here, so overwhelming pink reminded Flotsam more of Barbie with the movie out and Barbie for as much as there may have ever been jokes in the past didn't actually remind Flo of Rapunzel at all. Rapunzel's personality was ever sadly too dizzy to be a Barbie. Even Flotsam knew Barbie could be anything. He wouldn't give Rapunzel that much intellectual credit. Anything was not something she could aim for. He has a theory her magic hair drained the intelligence from her and that's the credit he tries to give her in his own secret space, attempting to give her some justice so that at least it's not her own fault. So yeah, all the usual things that might point that way just... didn't anymore. Ed Sheeran had a direct connection memory that managed to hone in though. The past was funny that way.

But, anyway Flotsam also wouldn't have known any of those videos were yes dear videos. He was an outsider spying in. A jealous one at that and was going along with his own life wishing Thomas would look his way, even though he knew he wouldn't. At least at the time he thought he never would.

He was wrong.

Clearly, now, married and three kids later, he was wrong.

"I'm okay." Flotsam coughed out attempting to settle his breath.

He could tell Thomas was initially worried and then seemed confused. He could sense eyes on him while he was laughing but he could not stop for anything after everything lately.

Everything. Meaning finding out about his birth parents. That he's a damn experiment, hardly a normal person at all. Thaddeus bullshit. Gender swapping. Giving birth. Watching Scout transform. All the invasive ghost writing. Putting Jet's necklace on and feeling it around his neck daily knowing who his mother made it for. Ariel. Delta. All of it always came back as he held the amulet and he had to to even be Flotsam at all. Now Marina Del Rey. So yeah, Irish vacation needed so badly. Relaxation with their husband was a need, not a want. They just needed a damn minute to step back and breathe.

Talk about overwhelming. Try all that in a body while being sober for the first time in your life. Add a layer of intensity no one else is understanding when your only coping behaviors are fucked as all get out.

"Choreographed dance less- Really? Oh. You are just making it better." He laughed loving the images even more. It made his mind go back to Cinderella and how much he practiced so he could sweep her off her feet dancing at the prom. "Shit. I've been there. Done that kind of shit. Well, minus the choreography. Just practiced dancing."

Okay, maybe they were three kids in, but maybe it was still nice to feel that old them was still there. The two best buds that first met and bitched about shit together. It had Flotsam grinning. He liked that feeling. It didn't have to be about their exes. But, after not being in his own skin for so long, it helped him feel like him again, them again. He kinda needed this little moment.

"If we get a do over, I'll remember that." He joked. "At the very least burn down the studio." He kept laughing.

For some reason it didn't hurt to talk about the past anymore. He was realizing it for the first time as he was smiling through all this.

Flotsam definitely always thought Thomas was something special. He just didn't know how to show it once upon a time. Once upon a time an dirty swamp cowboy learned how and grew into a Nutella princess. goddess.

"Not a day over, huh? Loving your compliments, Love."

"Okay, okay." He said as he enjoyed the warmth of Thomas's hands on his lower back as they strolled along.

"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time - Any fool can do it - There ain't nothing to it."

Then Flotsam would just smile at him as if he said the words that unlocked the mystery to life and not adult, soft rock. folk, oldies lyrics.

But then he kept going even though it was just the first lyric line he meant to share. He got caught up in the song as it started to spill out. He might not have been Kuzco with groove music bursting from nowhere, but he kept singing right out on the sidewalk. He didn't care what people thought. He walked right up to the turnip stand and said they'd take the lot and just kept singing between it as he spun a credit card at them.

"Nobody knows how we got to the top of the hill But since we're on our way down We might as well enjoy the ride

The secret of love is in opening up your heart It's okay to feel afraid But don't let that stand in your way 'Cause anyone knows that love is the only road And since we're only here for a while Might as well show some style

(He'd take a huge shuffle side step with his arms up in the air and take a spin to show some style as he sang this too.)

Now the thing about time is that time isn't really real It's just your point of view How does it feel for you? Einstein said he could never understand it all Planets spinning through space The smile upon your face

(He'd grab up Thomas's arms and spin one dance spin in the middle of the sidewalk being a bit silly, grinning away before coming back around to push the stroller around in a circle to have fun with the kids at the next phrase.)

Welcome to the human race Some kind of lovely ride I'll be sliding down, I'll be gliding down Try not to try too hard It's just a lovely ride

Isn't it a lovely ride? See me sliding down, gliding down Try not to try too hard It's just a lovely ride

The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time"

He'd watch the vendor load their car with turnips and something about sharing that made Flo happy. He was in a good mood.

-

Beach Turnips were next. Carving their own Stingy Jacks by the sea.

Blankets. Dinner picnics. Tea.

This is where Flotsam would sit back looking at their cottage and get his vision to gothify it like a storybook Samhain. He always had a knack for seeing the potential in things.

"Thomas. I think I might be crazy, but what if we just bought this place?" He asked while lining up a circle of turnips up like baby gate around the kids on the blanket in the sand, as if that would really keep them in. "Is it weird to own land in a country you don't live in?"