#because i watched the first vod with him and noticed something lol

[midnightmarev]

Was rewatching Phil’s QSMP streams, specifically Deathduo streams (because they never got to see each other after the reset and qMissa doesn’t know his family went to Rose’s sanctuary and did a long sleep ueueue), and what better place than to start with that first day he and Missa had Chayanne? Something I noticed when they gave him a sword and he went after Spreen was, lightning stuck. On a sunny day. Multiple times. On Chay. Or rather, close by him and towards his targets, Charlie and Mariana being one of them, when he one time was looking down below them where they lived at the time and lightning kept striking, as if Chayanne was trying to hit them with it. So… that’s where this AU came from. Yes, I am actually gonna write this out into a proper story. Have a title and starting sentence and everything. Pls don’t steal this, it’s one of my babies. I have so many wips in my folder lmao. Anyway, happy reading!

---------------------------------------------

Chayanne has the power of lightning at his disposal. He doesn’t know it’s not normal until he’s adopted by his dads, Philza and Missa, and sees their reactions to him summoning lighting at Tio Spreen when he hit him the first day. They don’t know it was him, the men too stressed about being thrust into parenthood to really think about what happened, probably chucking it up to the weird things happening on the island. He sees how scared they are for him when lightning strikes close to him, to protect himself, how protective they get and fuss to get him home, that he realises it might be better if he just… keeps it in. Doesn’t let them know it was actually him.

After a few months of having been adopted by his dads, he slowly works up the courage to tell his Dad Phil about what he can do. Chay’s a little warrior, after all, and he wants to protect his siblings the best he can, and his powers would help him with that goal, surely Dad Phil, the seasoned warrior he is, will recognise this and not be scared of Chay, or start hating him, right?

And then the binary entity starts attacking his siblings who still have two lives. And he realises something. The monster summons lightning storms every time it attacks. Lightning striking with too much precision to be a coincidence. That revelation scares him. He’s too much like the creature that is a danger to his siblings. If he tells Dad Phil now, surely the man will start despising him. Everyone will, even Lullah, once they know because Dad Phil will surely tell them about the monster living under his roof.

So Chayanne keeps it in.

Keeps a big secret that no one knows about, not even his other half, his little Lullah. He doesn’t want her to be scared of him. What if he actually was a code, just disguised as a kid, and that was the reason he could summon lightning? He would be such a danger to everyone!

But keeping it in for too long serves him no good. He starts sleeping more. Sometimes days at a time with no one able to wake him up. Dad Phil is worried. He doesn’t know what’s happening with his son. Chayanne doesn’t either. Not until he wakes up groggily, alone, during the afternoon while Dad Phil is out with Lullah doing her tasks. There’s static in the air, and when he looks at his hands after rubbing sleep from his eyes, little electric lines appear between his fingers and suddenly he’s wide awake.

Keeping his powers in, burying them deep, made them bottle up. He hurts. He can’t keep them in for much longer. He has to leave!

And he runs away.

When he’s far enough away from where anyone lives or has little bases, he lets go.

One massive lightning bolt summons on him and many smaller ones strike the ground around him.

It doesn’t hurt, not really. Not anymore. But the buildup that just got released was too much for his little body and he passed out from the exertion.

The rest of the islanders see the lightning in the distance and start bringing their children home to safety. Lightning equals code attack, after all. Better safe than sorry.

Every child is accounted for. Well, at least until Philza returns home with his daughter and sees an empty bed where his son was sleeping when they left that morning. He frantically looks around the bunker, the kitchen, and the side room. Nothing. No sign of Chayanne.

Immediately he goes outside again, making sure Lullah stays inside, worried as she is, and pulls out his communicator.

He asks around if Chayanne may have gone to them after he woke up sometime during the day, but with no luck. No one has seen the little boy all day. They ask if everything’s alright. Phil doesn’t want to worry them and doesn’t want to fear the worst. He says they are just playing hide and seek. They’re not.

Phil looks into the distance where all the lightning came from and steels himself. If the code has his son, he is going on a rampage. The Angel of Death will take to the skies once more.

But first, he needs proof that something’s happened. So, he goes in the direction the lightning struck. No rain happened, just the lightning, which is odd. Something at the back of his mind tucks at that, something familiar that he can’t place. There was also no ping in the communicators that someone was downed or killed, so Chayanne has to still be alive.

What is happening?

Eventually, he arrives at a clearing far away. Scorch marks litter the ground, but his focus is solely on the biggest one. Because in the middle of that, lies his son.

Phil runs to his side, listening for his heartbeat, and quickly finding it. It’s not beating as strongly as it usually is. Phil is worried. What happened to his son?

Phil wants to bring him home, but it is far, and Phil doesn’t know what happened, and doesn’t know if moving him would hurt him, so he stays. He gently combs through the little boy’s hair with his taloned hand as if he were grooming delicate feathers.

He stays like that for hours, just waiting until his boy would wake up. He shoots a message to Fit asking if he could check on Lullah and if she has gone to bed, saying something came up that he had to take care of, so he had to leave in a hurry. Fit complies easily with his request, his old friend not even questioning him about the urgent matter.

Eventually, Chayanne wakes up. And he is not alone. He instantly recognises the hand combing through his hair and chokes up.

“Chayanne? Are you awake?” his dad whispers hesitantly, and Chayanne just starts sobbing, launching himself into his Dad Phil’s arms, hiding his face in the man’s chest. “Oh, Chayanne. What happened?” Dad Phil’s voice is so gentle as he hugs him, trying to soothe the crying boy, too gentle than anyone should be to a monster.

Chayanne just shakes his head. He knows he’ll have to answer his dad’s questions eventually, but he is selfish. He wants comfort, warmth and kindness just this one last time until his dad realises what a monster he is.

What the boy doesn’t know is how his dad won’t care about what he can do. He doesn’t care that it is similar to the creatures that kill children. Because that is not how Chayanne is. His powers don’t make him a monster. Actions do. And Chayanne would never do anything that would make him a monster.

But all that is for later. For now, a father is comforting his son.

[annimator]

FUCK IT, NEW FIC AT 1 IN THE MORNING (it was finished a couple days ago lmao)

Summary:

A reimagining of the moment Bad meets a certain Korean egg. The main difference being that this version’s retold within the egg’s POV

or

I was watching Bad’s VOD of the Carnaval Event, I got to the part where he meets Chunsik, and I accidentally made a fic out of it because I’m fanfic writer now lol

A multitude of people were crowded at the train station for today’s event.

Acau wasn’t there, but Chunsik could at least recognize a couple of people that he already met, and there were others he hadn’t introduced himself to.

He still hasn’t processed everything that’s happened to him; being taken into the care of someone that doesn’t seem to have ties to the Federation, getting a new name, seeing the outside world for the first time, meeting genuinely kind people that have gifted him a multitude of sweets & other goods, and even meeting other eggs!

And yet, despite the fact that he knew some of the people there, Chunsik was still somewhat shy to greet the others.

Fit was still in the same attire he was wearing yesterday, Pac was dressed up just like Richarlyson (and had a robot leg??), Tubbo wore what looked like a Hawaiian t-shirt that was teal with a bunch of flowers of differing blue hues, and Chayanne, ‘Lullah, Leonarda, Richarlyson, Empanada, & Sunny were dressed up for today just like him; in a small Carnaval outfit that was also sprinkled in confetti.

He spotted three other strangers he hadn’t met;

One had pink hair & green eyes that were wide open, and was dressed in a pink, yellow, and green Carnaval outfit. They also seem to be good friends with Pac.

Another man had brown hair & blue eyes, and was entirely dressed up as some kind of yellow bird.

And, there was someone else there dressed in a primarily white attire, but it was also sprinkled in colourful dots, whilst also wearing a stripped red & white shirt. His skin & hair were entirely black, and he had heterochromatic eyes that were light blue & white, which could be seen even with the large red and orange mask covering his face.

Alongside those three, there were other eggs there he hasn’t met; one egg had a top hat, another one wore a beret and had red & blue coloured spots on her face, one had a red & white horizontally stripped swimsuit, and there was one other egg that had a brown moustache and wore a meathead as a hat. All of them with the exception of the egg with the swimsuit had visible cracks on them.

There were also a bunch of penguins for some reason.

Chunsik was crouched towards the corner, and by the looks of it, no one really noticed him since they were all mostly talking to each other.

But his nervousness over seeing a lot of people slowly went away as the egg with the moustache and meathead slowly approached him and placed down a white sign, and wrote down a quick sentence to greet him.

“Hi! Nice to meet you!”

Chunsik was excited to meet another egg, quickly writing a reply to the other egg’s greeting, “Hello! I like your moustache!”

The moustached egg tossed a golden apple to gift it to Chunsik, but another egg accidentally picked it up. Despite that small inconvenience, Chunsik placed down another sign, writing out a question for the egg he just met, “What’s your name?”

(Author’s note: YO GUYS HE SAID THE THING)

As the other egg was writing his answer, the man with the white yet colourful outfit approached him. Chunsik would come to know this person as BadboyHalo, or just Bad for short.

“Hello.”

Chunsik didn’t really take a liking to the colour white because of the months he spent within the white walls of the Federation, but something about the person in front of him was comforting in a way. He was bouncing in place as Bad continued to greet him,

“Hello! Hi little one- Oh, you’re new! How are you doing? Hi!”

Chunsik quickly put down another sign, but not before noticing that the other egg that was with him finished writing a sign that introduced himself, “Ramon :D What’s yours?”

By the time Chunsik finished his sign, the train arrived at the station they were all currently in; yet Bad still managed to read out the sign he wrote for him, “Oh! Here, we’re running just a bit late- ‘Hello! My name is…’ uh ‘Chunsik.’ Is it Chunsik?”

Chunsik was bouncing out of joy and nodded, much to the Bad’s delight, but before he could place down another sign, an announcement ringed out from the station,

[Enter the train!! Tubbo_ will be our conductor.]

“Oh! Here, let’s catch up. We’ll introduce.. or uh talk to each other later-“

Before Bad could continue talking to him, Richarlyson quickly dragged him to the train, whilst also bringing all the other eggs with him,

“Come on! Let’s go- I know! We’re going- we’re holding it up- come on! Come on little ones!”

Chunsik quickly entered the train, sitting around the front as Tubbo began the train engine.

He didn’t learn Bad’s name when he introduced himself to him, but he didn’t seem like a stranger to him anymore.

And he seemed really kind too.

[trishzerothree]

Hey kid,

first of all, I just want to say that I'm not here to attack you. More the opposite actually.

You don't need to reply to this ask, just read through it and let my words sink in. I won't see your response ever anyways. Usually I would give someone the possibility of talking to me privately if they want to. But in your case I decided against it, there are better ways to vent and talk to than a random young adult. So that's why this is anon.

I would recommend you to not be on the internet this much with 13. But that would be hypocritical of me to say because I was heavily online at that age aa well.

I understand that it's very hard to stop supporting someone, and you may think you know someone, but trust me, you don't. You never actually fully know someone a hundred percent, especially not any famous people that you don't even privately know. Often times people don't even know themselves enough to know how they will react.

I know, it may seem like someone lets you see who they are and they seem like a good person, but you rarely will truly know. For Wilbur's case, he's been called out by others and practically admitted to it himself with a shitty "apology" which was pretty much just him trying to talk his way out of it by making everything about him.

I know it must hurt you to hear this but, you do not know William Gold. You do not know the man behind the camera. The man behind the voice. You only know an image of him that he specifically wanted you and pretty much everyone else to see and believe. That is called manipulation.

Trust me, it can hurt even more if you were manipulated by someone you talked to one on one. I recommend you to listen to Shubble's vod about the abuse. She herself didn't even realise it was abuse and in total there are a lot of ways abuse can show itself. And even then with watching it, I fear you may eventually live through some kind of abuse, most of us do.

If you need time off the internet to get clear with your emotions and to accept that Wilbur is a horrible person, then do so. If you want to scream and swear, then do so. Just don't focus your anger on others, or yourself.

Writing fanfiction can be one way to deal with those emotions, others go outside on a walk and kick a tree or something and scream (I have done that before. Some people are very infuriating. Do recommend). Another option is going onto like beta.character.ai and venting to a bot.

Generally I do not recommend venting to real people that know you, may be because that has ended for me personally badly before tho lol

I genuinely hope that you can learn from what happened as well, become more empathic and better at noticing, realising and accepting abusive behaviour as what it is, abuse.

Goodbye, I hope you live a well and healthy life, young one

What are you, a telepath, how did you know that I wrote fanfiction about Wilbur and Shubble to cope with all this? (I didn’t post it anywhere if anything)

[kaidenshenandoahknapp]

this was an absurd amount of effort for what was ultimately an offhanded-joke but i needed to procrasinate lmao

if you watched @henrykathman's "Melody of Moominvalley" stream, (hi, hello, i made the thumbnail art, that was a cool surprise to see in my sub-box lol) Kathman made a comment about being glad no one has made him into a Moomintroll (or Snorktroll, i guess) because he thinks he would look like Snork

i had two thoughts in reply to this VOD:

that's probably because i would assume most video-essayist are on the spectrum of Hemulans (oversimplification: academics) to Teety-Woo/Woodies (oversimplification: big fans, arguably obsessive). you're probably more of a Hemulan? based on how you present yourself in videos? idk, i dont know you in your personal life lmao Hemulan just seems likely considering the hobby being so analytical (and also is easier for me to look at the different styles of since Woodies seem to have less general rules towards their appearance. and Teety-Woo is the only one of its kind that i know of, idk what is Teety-Woo's species and what is Teety-Woo's individuality there. but, like, that's not nearly as fun as my bullshit quiz lmao)

fucking bet

*: assets in not-gif form below Read More

(psa: please do forgive me for misspellings. i am dyslexic and will probably edit this repeatedly for quite some time, but im tired atm so Now It Is Posted)

anyway, i whipped all these up in about 2 or 3 days? idk, my chronic health issues have been a monster lately, its hard to keep track of days rn

but i made:

comics Moomintroll/Snorktroll

90s Moomintroll/Snorktroll and Hemulan

Tales From Moominvalley inspired illustration art of Hemulan where it has those lifeless "bug eyes with tiny pupils" style i love (but that i also understand why Jansson went back and gave them bigger pupils after a certain edition, and drew with more expressive eyes after a while)

why did i do three different styles + 3 different species? because i was torn on which to do and ended up pulling a classic Kaiden-Shenandoah and going "ill do more work and let them choose which one they like best". something something anxiety, i dont know what to tell you, im trying to learn self-acceptance lmao besides, it was fun to do a quicker shuft through style changes than the usual heavier studying i make Google Images help me do

speaking of, i dont often share my references because i worry about clutter, but i want to include it today and i also used less ref than usual, so you get clutter lol

(i learned last time that Tove Jansson doesn' often draw mugs; so i did my best guesses based on the references here + the result of my references the last time i drew in Jansson' style, which was more so her later novel-illustrations, if i remember right, as opposed to today. lots of best guesses today.)

first of all, i guessed on Kathman's eye-color based on zooming in and it was too pixelated to tell for sure even with the eyedropped tool. secondly, very fun tying in the blue hair dye since 90s Snork has a pink edge to his hair and Mr Hemulan has a green edge to his. last of all: i made them with (and without) a light beard/stubble, since i saw Kathman has one now. but also that was enirely guesswork on my part: Tove Jansson drew heavy-duty moustaches/beards or completely facially-hairless characters, no in-between. so i used educated guesses on how to adapt that. and i feel a bit like i did the male version of that one Snorkmaiden lipstick comic for my efforts lmao but hey! i tried!

my only thing is idk which set to upload to instagram, bc doing all the assets of with/out facial hair feels oddly excessive and maybe goes past instagram's images-per-post limit, idk, ill upload these there someday i guess. really wish instagram would let me post a gif but idk how to do that. c'est la vie

you also may notice one of the Hemulan sets includes a magnifying glass. i just thought it was thematically appropriate for someone analytical, especially since one of my references above did have it available for me to also reference lol

as a fun detail, i did a more Police Inspector color palette for the 90s Hemulan design, and a more Moominpappa palette for the 90s Moomintroll/Snorktroll designs. hence why those colors aren't the same

and the last thing is that i made the comic assets yellow-y to reflect the aging of paper and the quality of the photo references i have. (Henry Kathman, if you want to edit them to be white for the aesthetic of something, feel totally free)

here's all the assets i made in total. the gif version felt the most succint but yeah. also, Henry Kathman, if you are reading this: same rules apply. feel free to use these in anything you want, credit would be nice. (also, very sweet that you saw my name change away from my childhood nickname, i appreciate that 🫶). credit in the future can be to either here or my instagram (which i changed to match this hyphen-less url, since tumblr terminated my last blog for unknown reasons) i hope you are not upset that i went against your wishes of gratitude that nobody had drawn you as a Moomintroll/Snorktroll, but i hope the fact that i think you don't look like Snork even as a Moomintroll/Snorktroll helps. i hope you also dont mind the Hemulan additions lmao. but yeah, i wont blame you if you prefer the more human (or arguably Mymble? idk species) style i did beforehand in the last batch and don't use these. that one has way more references with lots of drafts and this is more of me messing around and finalizing the first draft i made each time around lol but i think they came out fun! very silly distraction, thanks for the idea lmao

thanks to Henry Kathman for the fun VOD and the much-(un)needed procrastination excuse. it was a good distraction from a pretty bad flare-up in my disability and a full plte of things to do that i needed an escape from. hope youre having a great day!

[mysticdragon3md3]

I guess that's it for The Game Awards 2022. It's still kind of early in the night. Maybe I'll watch SuperButterBuns' VOD of her reactions. I wonder if Professor Thorgi did a reaction stream.

Anyway, here are my remaining reactions that I let pile up instead of posting as I typed them.

6:47 PM 12/8/2022 Oh. Oh? What's this? Big stage performance with big fantasy staging elements? o Halsey Lilith? So many costumed cloak people and a big demon in the back of the stage? Nice. Ooh. Big architectural thing. O.o Wait. Blizzard? Is this Diablo? Y'know, I never looked into what the story was about in Diablo. Are normal humans travelling into hell? Is hell invading Earth?

6:52 PM 12/8/2022 Best Audio Design. God of War Ragnarok won. I'll be honest: I didn't know who to vote for. But I was so tired of car racing sims and military shooters winning this category, even though I know they do painstakingly gather the realistic sounds. I just wanted some recognition for a fantasy series that has to make up sound effects for creatures that don't exist, magic that doesn't exist, etc. I think that type of creative sound design is much more impressive these days. At least to me.

6:53 PM 12/8/2022 Content Creator of the Year. Nibellion is who I voted for. Ludwig won? Who's that.

6:53 PM 12/8/2022 Most Anticipated game. I voted RE4. Zelda Tears of the Kingdom wins. To be expected.

6:54 PM 12/8/2022 Ooh! More Horizon! Is it III or DLC? Has to be DLC, right? this trailer was too "in medias res" for a part 3. "Burning Shores". The Hollywood Sign is still in tact. LOL And it takes place in Los Angeles? Well, I'm biased.

6:55 PM 12/8/2022 What the---? *o* The Last of Us series cast on stage with the videogame cast? ^o^ Pedro Pascal bowing to the voice actors. ^o^ First, he was all hugging that Grogu puppet at interviews and now this. He seems more fun the more I see him.

Best Action Game. Bayonetta 3. Hell yeah. Doug Bowser accepting the award for Platinum Games. I forgot it was a Nintendo game---franchise since Bayo 2. lol

6:59 PM 12/8/2022 I need to note something. Normally, TGA feels too padded with repetitive trailers, that it feels more like an ad show. But tonight hasn't felt like that at all. Normally, award shows feel so annoying whenever they try to have presenters appear on stage or point out stars in the audience, or especially when they have banter/skits. But none of that has felt annoying to me tonight, astoundingly. I guess it's different---effective when you care about the people taking up the time in the show. Even the devs that I've never heard of, you can feel how important all this recognition is for them. Normally, they get overworked and never recognized. So all of this, this awards show, feels special, whenever the camera turns to them, gives them stage time, gives them a chance to talk, etc. It's nice.

7:09 PM 12/8/2022 Also Keegan Michael Key is doing a comedy skit on stage, and normally I hate those at award shows, but this is nice. Y'know what really helps? This audience is so interactive. The cheering and reactions really help avoid any sense of awkward silence, waiting for jokes to be funny/entertaining. Keeps things flowing. Also the fact that the presenters/banter/skits tonight have been few, but also talking about things I'm actually interested in, when it does get used in the show, really helps. Is toad's mushroom cap a hat?...or not? Hm...???? ^o^ (But also maybe I haven't noticed the banter I'm not interested in, because I'm too busy typing/posting through it. lol)

6:59 PM 12/8/2022 Bandai Namco. Blue Protocol. "Your future needs you." Ooooh.

7:04 PM 12/8/2022 Transformers Reactivate???????? I can't believe I was getting excited for this concept of AI POV, watching time pass, suggesting immortal POV story themes, some kind of alien invasion…And I was eager for this "new" IP. And it turned out to be Transformers. lol Well, looks good.

7:07 PM 12/8/2022 Behemoth VR for Meta? Are people still using Occulus?

7:07 PM 12/8/2022 All these awesome trailers tonight, with cinematic tones and fantasy environments… It reminds me why I'm just not impressed with Avatar The Way of Water. That movie is trying so hard to build hype for itself. One of the trailers is talking about how Avatar is "the story of a generation" or something. And I'm like...These movie people have not seen videogames for the past 10 years.

7:11 PM 12/8/2022 Hey, does this Super Mario Bros Movie clip mean that an upcoming Mario game will have clear pipes?

7:11 PM 12/8/2022 Animal. I wonder why they chose Animal out of all the Muppets. What's this Muppet Mayhem that Geoff mentioned? Yes, we all love Malenia, Animal. lol And an Animal Crossing joke. With Animal. lol These Muppet skits at TGA are always good. ^u^

7:13 PM 12/8/2022 Best Score and Music. God of War Ragnarok. Nice. I voted for them because I still remember that E3 2016 Sony Press Conference when this same composer for God of War conducted the orchestra, and I really enjoyed that music piece from God of War that they played.

7:14 PM 12/8/2022 Animal is still screaming across the auditorium. lol

7:15 PM 12/8/2022 Action RPG from the Life Is Strange devs???????? Ok? Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden. Angsty. But I like the idea of the protagonist being followed by an ally ghost. Both in terms of interesting AI support during gameplay, and for narrative. The protagonist isn't really alone. Angsty, but still emotional support too.

7:24 PM 12/8/2022 More show-crashing? Ever since Joker did it for Persona 5's collaboration with Super Smash Bros Ultimate, this has been a good gimmick for TGA.

Oh, it's Crash Bandicoot. He did Tweet something yesterday that put everyone on alert. I didn't know they're covering the mascot wearer's face now. Good choice. That was fine for short commercials decades ago, but I don't really want to see a real man's face through Crash's teeth in an awards show's lighting. Because of the circle indentation/patch in Crash's teeth, I can't tell if they covered his human face at the last minute, or if it's purposefully visible as a joke.

7:27 PM 12/8/2022 Accessibility award. God of War Ragnarok. I can't remember what I voted for, because I don't know much about this category. But I did a little research for this aspect of the nominees. And there was one game that said it could be played by blind players, and I was just just blown away. THAT is an accessible videogame! So I voted for it. What was it?…I think it was As Dusk Falls.

7:34 PM 12/8/2022 Best RPG: Elden Ring It was close between Elden Ring and Xenoblade Chronicles 3 for me. I want them both to get recognition.

7:34 PM 12/8/2022 Players Voice: Genshin Impact. Well, that's good. Genshin is so popular, I'd be sad if they didn't win something to reflect that. Funny that Geoff mentioned that they sifted through all the bots. lol

7:34 PM 12/8/2022 Best independent game: Stray WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!!!!!!! CAT GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

7:35 PM 12/8/2022 Best Action Adventure Game: God of War Ragnarok I voted Stray because I thought it'd be hilarious if the cat game won over the AAA cinematic games. But honestly, I know that God of War Ragnarok and Horizon Forbidden West are a little more actiony than Stray. So I'm ok with this.

7:35 PM 12/8/2022 Best Ongoing Game FF14 Wait. 2nd award tonight for them? What was the first award they won today?

7:40 PM 12/8/2022 Best Game Direction. Yay! Reggie! Ooh, Elden Ring. Oh! Well deserved. Yay! Miyazaki!!!

7:44 PM 12/8/2022 Ooh! New Cyberpunk 2077 content! "Phantom Liberty". Edris Elba too! Ooh!

7:45 PM 12/8/2022 What's this big "global" announcement? Bandai Namco. Could be anything. Bandai Namco has so many IPs… Is that a meteor crashed into lava? Or some kind of manufactured satellite or space craft? "Feed the fire." What? "Let the last cinders burn." From Software! Y'know what I love about these live audiences still being heard over the trailer premiers? You can feel the excitement building! Wait a second…Is this that old IP???? Just remade for current image quality standards? Armored Core VI: Fires of Rubicon omg it is an old pixelated IP, brought into HD. O_O!!!!!!!!!! I love that Resident Evil 2 seems to have started this era of remaking series so old that they actually need more than just an HD image enhancement. No more of this "remaking" recent, already-HD games with unnecessary enhancements only 5 years later. lol

7:52 PM 12/8/2022 YOSHI-P IS HERE????????????????? OMG HE'S ACTUALLY HERE! I thought it was going to be a video message! O.O!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wow, he memorized his announcement in English! O.O! Look at this FF16 trailer, man! This is the type of thing we see in this industry, and the movie industry wants us to be excited for Avatar? C'mon. Look at this! I guess Ifrit will be the protag's main summon. Again, I love hearing the audience cheering through the trailers.

7:57 PM 12/8/2022 Game of the Year. I love these orchestra montages of the nominees. ^-^ It's probably going to be God of War Ragnarok. Good choice. But also, did Horizon Forbidden West win anything tonight? I'd feel bad if they lost all their categories after getting their release window distracted by Elden Ring. I'm glad Xenoblade Chronicles 3 got nominated. I'm not familiar with it, but I heard everyone who has played it, LOVES it. At least it got recognized as a nominee. Like when Persona 5 snuck into the game of the year nominees. I want recognition for the anime-esque games. STRAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CAT GAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH, there's Elden Ring. I'm pretty sure God of War will win. It's been winning so much tonight already.

8:01 PM 12/8/2022 Ooh! Elden Ring won! Nice! How could I forget how much everyone was obsessed with that game when it released? No wonder Miyazaki came all the way from Japan. He already won another award, but having 2 awards is definitely worth the plane trip.

8:03 PM 12/8/2022 No, Miyazaki, this IS the appropriate place/time to say you have more ideas than even Elden Ring. We are excited. ^_^

I'm sorry, I was blowing my nose and couldn't hear what that 2nd person was saying. But interesting that TGA dropped out the music when they realized another person started talking. That was really nice of them. How many times have I seen the Oscars cut into the final speech and then even just drop the feed sometimes? But they dropped the music to accommodate the winners, then just brought it back up after he was done talking. Easy. Good.

8:05 PM 12/8/2022 6/25/2023 Collaboration with the LA Philharmonic, I think Geoff said.

8:31 PM 12/8/2022 Wait. Did IGN Live just say that the 2nd guy talking during the Game of the Year acceptance speech was arrested on stage? He wasn't supposed to be there??? What did he say??? I've got to go back and rewatch that.

[jackassbroadcast]

Hello im a Tommy enthusiast who watched that one stream where he monologued to foolish for like hafe an hour bc i heard it was a cool stream or wtv to realize how much amazing character moments it had that barly anyone in this damn fandom is talking about so ill fucking do it

(Only after finishing this i realized i wrote 1.7k words LOL OOPS)

If u dont know what in talking about its this stream (apologies for linking a clips channel the actual vod on foolish's channel is deleted by now)

Also heads up /rp /dsmp every time i refer to someone here by name is their character unless stated otherwise bc writing c! Before every name Is tiring LOL

Also // suicidal idealization , death mentions

The conversation starts off with foolish and tommy mining for Wilbur, and foolish questions how simply mining will solve the problem to which Tommy reponds with "they dont get solved, do they? It just ends uo with some madman screaming 'Hes solved it!' And now look at him." And how he wants to "prevent the problem before it goes outta hand" something that clearly references Wilbur and his destruction of lmanburg, which paired with him collecting stone for Wilbur as the way to stop said problems he believes if he does anything he can for Wilbur and support him by his side enough this time around, that he wont do anything like thay again, which as im writing this makes be realize by doing that we learn hes blaming himself for what happened to Wilbur in November 16th and pogtopia and a whole, by not being enough for Wilbur in his mind.

The conversation continues, foolish off hand asks why would tommy want to stop Wilbur? Weren't they friends at some point? To which tommy leads foolish to lmanburg and tells him the story of the nation (how it was him and Wilbur's nation, how they made it to espace dream's iron fist and how they held an election "which puts your life on the line, which is good- if you're confident but- perhaps we were too confident", how they lost)

Tommy: "You know the phrase: 'treat other how you wanna be treated', foolish? People dont ever listen to it. Wilbur- he decided he wanted to be treated poorly so he treated everyone around him poorly "

This Tommy quote, to me at least, so so amazingly strong in conveying how understanding he is? To the world around him. Like-

I have not seen one person bring this quote up, and yet its (at least to me) shows such growth and understanding in Tommy i saw little to nothing like it in other streams. It shows he understands, he knew Wilbur didnt change just because, he knows he was struggling, that he thought everyone around him were againt him, were going to abandon him the first chance theyll get- and he thought he deserved it. So he, as a last way to defend himself against that, hurt them first, abandoned them first, so theyll see how much of a 'bad' person he was and take him out- and tommy saw right through that, possibly understanding it more after exile.

This next qoute was talked about much more but i still wanna bring it up

Foolish: "Do you believe in second chances?"

Tommy: "Oh, no I don't really believe that its not really a thing for me foolish its just that-" *sigh* "- i believe everyone has a little bit of good in then and this is not about giving him a second chance or a third chance- its not about *chances* foolish. Its about not giving up on the poeple you care about. "

Which. I mean. I dont know how healthy that mindset is, but comign from Tommy it makes so much sense.

Techno, tubbo, eret, sapnap. These are all people Tommy used to be extremely close to, had either a war or had been betrayed by them, and yet still found it in his heart that he still cares for them, with all of these, they did horrendous things, that hurt tommy physically and mentally, while also not being once or twice, but a contentious thing, but while tommy is to this day still effected by their actions he still found it in himself to forgive, because he knows he fucked up too, a lot, and he knoes they learned from their mistakes just as he had (except c!techno FUCKKK c!techno mf doesnt learn SHITTT) and he knows, when the time comes he knows hed want the people he hurt to forgive him too. (And he wants Wilbur to do the same)

Next qoute i will cut to a couple parts because its really so good and full of character i had to bro

Foolish: "Do you consider yourself to be the good guy or the bad guy?"

Tommy: "It really depends who you ask, isn't it? Yknow? If you asked dream he'd say im *his little toy that he plays with* you know? It doesnt.."

This part really stunned me when i first heard it because, and correct me If im wrong, but i dont think tommy ever acknowledged how dream sees him, and  how right he has his viewpoint too. Just the fact tommy is so *painfully* aware of how dream doesnt even see him as a person anymore but just a toy to mess around with for a while than just throw it away when it get too boring really hurt me. Someone give this kid a hug

(Continued) Tommy: "...foolish, honestly? I used to consider myself 'the good guy', you know? The fuckin'- second in command! But these past- these past like six months or so, foolish, everything got so much harder than it was before. Because before it was just us vs bad guys, it was all so clear! But- its not been 'clear' for so long, right? It wasn't; 'these are the bad guys! These are the good guys!' Now it's : 'he's doing this and it makes him a bit worse-' i mean, it all got so complicated, so- i don't know. Depends who you ask."

He says this, in response to foolish asking if hes a good guy- but its awfully similar to if Wilbur asked him if they were the bad guys. Because foolish just asked about him, and yet in his answer tommy made sure to keep using the words "us, he's, guys" as if hes not really talking about himself, as if hes explaining how Wilbur was wrong. Which he was. Also something interesting ive noticed, he says "the last 6 months or so", which indicated that with Wilbur he knew better to follow his word and leadership- with Wilbur he was always on the right side but when he lost him he felt much more lost alone, and couldn't trust himself enough to be on the "right side" .

Foolish: "I dont know, it all seems strange because just from, you know- hearing from others and, you know, learing a little bit, its seems like you've been the hero, you've been the villain, the conqueror, the savior, and, even now, i have no idea what you exactly are."

Tommy: "that's up to you to decide, isn't it? Im just- *uh*  i dont know. These days, foolish, I'm a little weaker than i used to be"

Foolish couldn't be more right with what he said, another example of this we see where a character acknowledges tommy never sticks to one thing us Charlie when calling him "tommy fron nowhere" which shows more how he cant stick to one thing, during the course of him on the server he had been friends and enemy with nearly everyone, been on pretty much all sides, and while never really intentionally, being in the center of conflict. When foolish says he doesnt know who tommy is anymroe at this point and all Tommy says in return is that "hes a little weaker than he used to be" does to show he misses who he used to be, with lmanburg, with Wilbur, when he knew who he was, now he doesn't know who he is anymore, but still so desperately want to be more demonstrated by the lines coming rigth after that one:

(Continued) Tommy: "..I'm not- I'm now who i want to be, but-"

Foolish: "Being honest with you, Tommy, that's the same case for me as well."

Tommy: "...heres the thing, foolish, unlike you i dont really have a choice. I have to try and be who i want to be, because if i dont, very bad things are gonna happen in this server. And now that Wilbur's back i can't- quite frankly *no one* can risk that. So i dont really have a choice."

Tommy want's to change- he wants to be better than he is now, to be closer to who he used to be, no matter how impossible that might be, but he also sees it as an immediate thing, he wants to change now, or asap, which is why hes collecting stone for Wilbur in the first place- old him would've done that with ease just because Wilbur asked and he wants to have that back so badly, asap. The way he talked about this reminded me of when he tried getting over his trauma stream before he went in the prison to kill dream: he knew he wasnt the best but he tried getting over that asap to go kill dream asap. He didnt wanna take the long road of years of healing and instead thought he could get over it just like that, and that experience clearly didnt teach him anything because now hes trying to slide back to the relationship he and Wilbur used to have and ignoring the drastic changes they both had plus the bad moments that were the reason they feel out in the first place, or maybe he knows, but at this point, after everything that happened to him and the server, he doesnt care anymore? He knows hes not the same he was and he'll never be the same, because thats not how it works, but his mentor, president, big brother is back after so long tommy felt so lost and alone he thinks maybe, this time around, with Wilbur, he could try and be better again.

[y4rdbird]

mcc 17 vod time: cyan edition baby

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii <3 this mcc when watching other team vods i had some thoughts and decided to post them here lol? not much too it. im not an expert nor am i anyone whos opinion you should value to so dont sweat it if you disagree lol. 

I'm not gonna go over every game and more of where i had something to say so <3 time to get into it i guess <3

starting off controversial lol. skybattle i. didn't really enjoy. cyans placement wasnt that notable but something I noticed is they kind of revolved their strat around dream? round one the way he dies bridging to mid and then asks for ponk to do it at that part so *he* doesn’t get sniped again aswell as just prioritizing himself over his teammates a bit? just didn't really vibe w me lol. its not anything id call an issue and more just something i noticed, and kind of reminded me of the funneling strat for dodgebolt (something dream is well known for) vs arrow splitting. i don't like funneling but i also main falsesymmetry for mcc so. i am biased lol. dream is obviously a bit more of a sweat compared to players like h or pete who prioritize making sure all there teammates are getting their own shots in while dream goes for the win for all of them by doing the majority himself. tldr he can be a sweat good for him. dream fans please dont maul me im but a humble blog

moving on from the opinion that's most likely to get me cancelled (/j) sands of time!!!!! i think their sot strat was super smart and while i don't know if its ever been used before id love to see it again in the future! karl as sandkeeper was a great decision as he was on top of comms and communicating when he had keys, how much sand, and when he needed them to give him more. dream was great at instructing them on what to do and saved alot of time not running back for vault keys but instead going on a set path intending to get the vault, instead of go in and pray you stumble upon it lol. the entire team worked well and its genuinely a shame they had a shit run in with those ravagers. comparing the scores, first place was 4300ish, and cyan had at one point 4500ish coins, meaning they would have gotten first if not for it. never forget the cyan 17 incident </3

buildmart. made me want to bang my head against the wall. i dont think i can elaborate on it without flying into a rage again so instead i am going to copy some portions from my commentary on it from discord <3 hope you all enjoy the rage from someone who has been pampered by grian buildmart pov

idk what to say other then their buildmart makes me want to cry. like oh my god. It is just very frustrating

he started off by having multiple people go to the same resource zone or the SAME BLOCK and ONLY do one build and it was just so inefficient

furthermore when Karl said he was going to grab other woods he told him not to????

 if your basing it off speed and you are ALREADY GETTING THE WOOD. HAVE HIM GRAB OTHER WOODS. YOU DONT NEED TWO PEOPLE GRABBING 12 PIECES OF FUCKING WOOD

It was hell actual hell

not only was he giving out confusing commands but he was just wasting manpower. during the treasure build he had ONE PERSON GET 3 DIFFERENT ORE BLOCKS AND 3 FUCKING PEOPLE GET SPRUCE

never going to forgive dream for having 3 fucking people get spruce

like tbh after THAT id fucking hate buildmart too. couldn’t be me though

focusing to get first completion isn’t a bad strat but doing one build only causes more point loss then gain. if they focused on two they could have done so much better because they could have easily divided into teams of two since they were only going to like. 2 locations each build and could have maintained the speed dream was pushing for

that concludes the ‘maybe its better if you do sit out for buildmart dream that made me want to cry’ segment of this post. thank you and goodnight

next up and last!!!! survival games!!! im not going too critical abt this but obv they were kind of losing morale and that can drastically affect performance. that being said DREAM HOW CAN YOU SUCK AT COMMS SO MUCH WHEN YOU DID SO WELL IN SOT!!! I HAD HOPE FOR YOU!!!! my heart is forever broken and trust shattered into oblivion <///3. getting serious though, this was a game where tommy got to really shine. he’s always been p good in my book and survival games is no exception. they went in with tommy leading and giving commands and dream kind of just. ignored them. and pushed to do opposite of what tommy wanted which ultimately kind of got them killed. and when it was just him and ponk very quickly went to taking the shots and just. idk disregarded what his team might want to say or have actually said. dream suffers a lot when he’s not in the leadership role because he just. cant listen to other people ig LMAO. dream himself has said he’s not good at teamwork so this isn't a big surprise, but still made it super frustrating to watch.

hmmm that is all me thinks.... once again this is my OPINION please do not burn me like a witch <3  this is all v lighthearted commentary and obv i didnt cover all of the games so this isnt some end all be all they are shit or not. idk if ill do another one of these posts but it was fun to make <3 i am now going to make a sammie <3 bye 

[ruby-whistler]

Ayo curious anon here- im gonna rewatch rewatch the vod and take note of every single punch and why it appears to have happened then we can compare notes. Also i am interested in your opinion on relaxx's post :0 also if u want a vid rec i know a cool vid where someone replied to a dream apologist who;;; excused exile but it also brings up some interesting points :0

alright, well good luck! my focus was more on the fact that c!dream didn't start punching first until the very end (he did punch back a few times but that's not what i was tracking), and c!tommy was punching him the entire time beforehand, so if you count more "first punches" for the very ending i don't think that would matter that much, but if you have something beforehand that's a discrepancy on my part feel free to tell me :]

i'm not going to watch it for myself because i'm afraid they'd generalize dream apologists based on that one person and make a lot of assumptions that don't apply to me + use possibly insulting, emotionally charged language as a result, but if there are good points you'd like to debate about feel free to send those!

as for relaxx post ( link to the original ) i have a reply written up with my opinions, so yeah;

/dsmp /rp

i was going to put in a first part saying how this is biasedly worded and insinuating that c!tommy was somehow protecting his family by standing up against c!dream during the negotiation (which really was the other way around, him being reckless and endangering them) but i don’t wanna seem aggressive or condescending so i just deleted that. they have emotions about c!tommy and they see him in a certain light thanks to that and i respect that enough not to bother them.

the majority of this is about c!dream anyway, which is more my playing field.

“it didn’t even work because dream didn’t care about spirit”

basic misinterpretation by someone not knowledgeable about the character besides watching c!tommy’s pov. obviously this is not true in the slightest, c!dream has proven time and time again that spirit’s leather is what he cares about the most right after his friends - he traded one of the discs for it, and he had sentimental attachment to the horse. him saying later that he doesn’t is not him revealing anything, or maybe even lying (there’s different interpretations of that scene - in my opinion it’s more of a decision than anything).

of course i do agree that c!dream is manipulative. the reasons for that can be debated, but he is. i wouldn’t call him a “master manipulator” - that’s reserved for people who not even the audience notices are being manipulative despite the obvious red flags, but c!dream is very much manipulative - he’s just the only one people notice, which isn’t really pro of him /j

“dream tells tommy he cut off all attachments, he abandons and stops talking to his friends”

he did stop talking to them… after they abandoned him. small mistake, big difference in the way we see the character.

“he tells tommy among other things that he “does it all because it’s fun and he’s playing with his food” “no, i just like to cause chaos” “i’m doing this so you can have an origin story. the perfect hero origin” “i can make us immortal together!” we don’t have a way to confirm or deny these as true/false since we don’t know what dream’s thinking, but. sadly they appear to line up with his actions.”

no, it doesn’t. it doesn’t line up at all with the way he talks to… anyone else, or with his character in general. it’s an intimidation tactic to cover up his true intentions and make himself out to be more of a threat because he wants people to be afraid of him - that’s what gives him power, basically. threats and ultimatums are what gives him the most control over others even if he has no real power, so it’s important people fear what he could do or what he would be willing to do, rather than what he actually will.

“sapnap actually visited dream in prison and dream seemed to care more about using sapnap to get to ranboo then sapnap himself. ouch.”

have they. have they not watched the video where c!dream spends the first like 98% writing in a book about how he wants c!sapnap and c!george to come visit him again and trying to convince c!sapnap he can get better and be let out and meet again? where he only asks for c!sapnap to deliver the message like half a minute before the end? where are they getting this info from? because this is outrageously incorrect, i’m sorry but what even lead you to that conclusion?

“i am actually fully on board with the idea that dream lied, and that he does still miss and care about his friends! i consider often (because i like angst lol)! when dream finally gets his pov, we might learn about this. because we don’t know what he’s thinking. he could be missing them every second for all we know! it could all be one master plan to make them like him, or save them, or something. dream is innocent until proven guilty. as far as we can tell, he wasn’t lying. and he did cut off his friends.”

i think from everything that’s happened before and after the scene it is obvious he does in fact care about them. he did emotionally isolate himself, he did “cut himself off” (moreso by not reaching out than actually doing anything for himself), yes, but that doesn’t mean he wanted to or that it didn’t hurt him.

“even if it turns out he actually loves them, he still treated them awfully by abandoning them as he did”

i… don’t remember that happening, i’ll be honest. they left him and they never came back, so it’s much more on them than it is on c!dream that their relationship fell apart, although he technically could’ve tried harder. however, that’s only c!sapnap and c!george - he still proved to care about c!punz during before the finale, and even during the prison he still shows attachment to c!techno.

i could give examples of him caring about his friends, and will if asked (that’d take a while because there is a lot of canon evidence but honestly it’d just make me very happy so i wouldn’t mind), but in general it’s not that difficult to see that he… does care about people, as hard as that is to believe, and yes, he did hurt them indirectly because it hurts to see people who used to be important to you spiral to the point of doing terrible things, but i wouldn’t say he made c!sapnap feel terrible, especially during the prison visit when c!dream is very obviously Going Through It.

also i highly dislike the anon’s attitude. there’s no need to be that aggressive, like what the hell dude. everyone can have their own interpretations and opinions. in my eyes, this is sort of biased and partially incorrect, but maybe let people exist on the internet.

[timetraveler-artist-writer]

My thoughts after watching Tommy's Resurection

Please let it be reminded that this whole post is my opinions, thoughts, and observations after I have watched the vod for a minecraft roleplay. My thoughts shouldn't be taken too seriously, lol, it's all /rp. It's a bit of a mixed reaction for me, I have both positive and negative thoughts. This is me mostly rambling and organizing my thoughts. /lh

It's implied that time moves very different in the "void". I've seen people actually compute how much time Wilbur has been dead and he's been there for years. We don't really know what Tommy went through in the void but based on his reactions alone he seems very traumatized. His description of how the void feels like paints a picture of pain and suffering. Is this afterlife some form of hell? If it is, then what did Mexican Dream do? /hj

One thing I've noticed is that there's a strange disconnect between the mentality of Dream and Tommy, maybe that's because of the time gap between them. For Dream it's only been 2 days but for Tommy it's been days and days and days with no end.

I think Tommy forgot how bad Dream really is because of how long he spent in the void. Let's say he spent 2 months with Wilbur and Schlatt and Mexican Dream, that's a pretty long time spending your time with the people you're uncomfortable with. We as the viewers know what happened during Tommys last moments but I think or at least suspect that Tommy doesn't remember every last detail. Even I would forget the small details, like what I ate that day or something, after a month or two. And it's really fascinating for me.

When we go through life, at least for me, I mostly only remember the large parts or a summary of what happens during my day unless the small detail is really important. You could argue that his death is very important but remember that the brain sometimes have funny ways to cope after a traumatic event.

Dream is very fascinated with Tommy's experience with death. It was really unnerving especially when he says he's a god. Gotta give kudos for their acting, very good. With Tommy's subtle expressions and being hyperaware of everything.

We know Wilbur did questionable things during the Pogtopia arc and Tommy's been hurt by Wilbur's actions to some degree. With Tommy being fresh out of the void his last memory is "traumatic" Wilbur, what really happened in the void?, and not Dream "killing" him. I think that is the reason why he's more terrified of Wilbur than Dream when he was first waking up.

But as their conversation continued I think Tommy began to remember just how bad Dream really is. See in the beginning how he said he'd be friends again with Dream if he doesn't revive Wilbur? Yeah, I think that's the fear talking, desperation, but he soon realizes that Dream was just as bad. Making him come to the conclusion that Dream had to die.

Another comment I have is about the pacing. The pacing of the whole arc feels a bit rushed or at least too fast. They should have let more time pass, so that the viewers would at least doubt whether Dream could do what he said he could do, ya know? Maybe more scenes of Dream being interrogated or something that shows/makes the viewer doubt his knowledge of revival.

Maybe because of the pacing the revival felt a little bit cheap. With the knowledge that Dream has, death is made meaningless. The revival was too easy, imo. Maybe it's because I'm a firm believer of equivalent exchange. I'm still hoping there is an "invisible" or not yet apparent consequence for Tommy's revival that will come to play in the future. That can be a plot thread that has many potential for both Dream's and Tommy's characters.

But storywise with how easy Tommy was revived, it makes future deaths feel nothing emotionally because viewers would expect revival. Each death will not hold the emotional weight it should have. And that is the reason why the three lives system was even implemented in the first placed. Death needed to have impact, so that when Wilbur die we cry. Death is plot device for the CCs to use to make that they do meaningful/raise the stakes higher. Right now deaths, specifically Tommy's death does not feel meaningful.

I just felt numb, instead of joyful when Tommy was revived because to some degree I expected his revival. I just didn't expect it to happen so soon.

Also they should have let all the characters that is dependent with Tommy's character to process their grief/reaction to his death. I'm looking at you Niki, Techno, Phil, etc. characters. They don't need to cry, they just have to react because whether is positive or not they have had history with him in some ways. Yeah they could still show their reactions bc no one knows Tommy is alive yet but it feel idk wrong or something, maybe that's just me.

Especially Niki, I wanted to know how she would react since her character has seems unstable. It's great that Jack had time to react but what about other people?

I meant Niki's character is unstable in the sense that she's too hyper focused on getting her revenge. What happens to her when the point of her focus is suddenly gone? Will she snap even further or will she blame other people? Will she blame Dream? I just feel like it's a missed opportunity.

It just feel like c!Tommy and c!Dream are trapped in their own bubble. When I typed that it made me realize that the whole point of the prison arc is that they away from other people, if that makes sense? Hhhmmmm, maybe I just wanted an inclusive story that involves many people, maybe. But tbh as fascinating the story of Tommy and Dream is, I'm slowly losing interest in it because I think I'm loosing emotional attachment to the characters. Though I'm still going to look forward to how the whole arc would develop.

If I got anything wrong feel free to correct me I just wanted to organize my thoughts on a post lol. If I need to change my tags just tell me.

[tracynotabi]

Riptide Day 2 / Undertow

September 11, 2021

D-Day.

Kevin, Ivan, Joey, and I were getting a ride from Spencer, who was also taking Narq to the venue, while Robert and Parker got a ride from someone else. Well, at least we didn’t have to walk to the venue. I didn’t pack sunscreen.

At 9am, about half an hour we were supposed to leave, Kevin gets a stomachache.

Me: He just needs to poop. Spencer: The classic.

We end up going to the lobby to wait for Spencer in Narq, which was fine considering we actually didn’t want Spencer, our ride, waiting for us.

Spencer: Okay, Narq’s just using the bathroom rq lol Me: Is he also having tummy problems Spencer: Nah just bein stoner and forgetting to do stuff lol Me: The classic

We go get Chick-fil-A and I’m sitting underneath the dashboard again by Kevin’s feet. I think the employees were very bewildered, as the woman on the other side of the window did a double take. I would, too, if I saw a smaller-than-average person just hiding underneath the dashboard sipping on a cup of Coke.

Some time after I get to the venue during doubles, I end up talking to Jimmy (j u m), when Kevin comes rushing over to me, a panicked look on his face.

Forgot to mention, but Kevin actually couldn’t get all of his poop out before coming to the venue and now it is back with a vengeance.

He tells me that he’s unable to go to any restroom because there were three stalls in the men’s restroom: two were occupied and one was clogged with poop.

He had tried flushing the poop one but it only made it worse. It just clogged more and the water level rose. If he had sat down and insisted on finishing, his balls would be touching the water and that’s a no-no.

He tried asking the front desk for other restrooms, but he was informed it was the only one. He was desperate and you could just see it in his eyes that he was about to break.

Me, using the big, wrinkly brain that I had, told him to use the women’s restroom. He froze, not even realizing that that was an option.

Now before anyone complains, hear me out.

I would rather be in a restroom with a male in the stall next to me, than exit the restroom and see someone standing outside the men’s restroom trying to wait for a stall with a shit stain in his pants. Excuse the vulgarity, but it’s true.

If you’re ever at one of my tournaments and you need to go and no male restroom is unoccupied, for the love of god, please fucking use the women’s restroom. I do not need this mess on my hands and you best believe I’m shoving myself in the men’s restroom if I gotta fucking go expel unicorns and rainbows.

I go to the restroom with Kevin and stand awkardly on my phone to keep watch, because he didn’t want any of the staff members actually seeing him and risk himself getting kicked out of the venue.

That would’ve been extremely unfortunate.

Luckily, nobody else needed to go use the restroom while Kevin was in there and he was able to safely compete his duty (lol).

If anyone is upset at my suggestion, I’m sorry, but I wasn’t about to not provide such a simple solution for Kevin’s emergency.

Anyway, the tournament start shortly after that.

First match I pay attention to is Kevin vs. Wombat. In my head, I think it’s pools so I shouldn’t worry too much. I try to watch Kevin’s sets, but it makes me physically ill sometimes because my anxiety is wracked up like crazy and I just want to throw up. Many have witnessed me walking away and trying to distract myself multiple times at multiple different tournaments.

It’s like that gory horror movie that you can’t keep looking away from.

Besides knowing that I get sick, I figured it would be fine since I actually enjoy trying to support my boyfriend and watch him come out of pools winners’ side. Not meaning any disrespect by Wombat, by the way. He’s great. Just realistic. It’s like how I expect Kevin to lose to Bob.

Kevin loses Game 1.

Ooh my tummy’s doing barrel rolls like the way Twisty did with that pullout bed. I look away but I’m just so distracted by the crowd noises.

I totally get it, though. Obviously, it’s sick that Wombat’s holding his own against Kevin, who is seed 3 of the tournament. I’d be excited, too, if my friend was making an upset on someone else. But Kevin’s my boyfriend, so obviously, I want him to win.

Kevin barely wins Game 2 and I’m like ooooh boy. My tummy’s going to town and I think I gag a little by how sick I feel. Gotta focus on getting Joey his next match. *deep breaths*

When heartswaptv airs the whole tournament, definitely check out the set. It was really good (as far as I can hear, I couldn’t bring myself to watch the rest of it).

Kevin comes over to me after he’s out of pools and I scold him for making me worried.

AND YOU NOW WHAT HE SAYS?

Kevin: Babe, it’s fine - I almost lost to Zeddy at Redacted City and I got 2nd. I’ll be fine. Me: T____T *incoherent whining noises*

Does Kevin thinks he’s fucking cute for saying that or something? I was not amused.

Since I didn’t have to volunteer TO the entirety of the tournament, I bounced around mingling with other people.

At one point, I get a message from Suvir in our group chat about how he, Sosa, and Narq were planning on coming to visit NorCal. Of course, since Narq was already here, I decided to just go up to him and ask.

Me: So I heard you’re coming to NorCal? Narq: I am? Me: That’s what Suvir said. *shows phone* Narq: I guess I’m going to NorCal!

Suvir: Narq doesn’t actually know. Sosa just said he’d take him with him and said Narq would agree to go because he’s Narq. Me: Oh that makes sense why he had no idea what I was talking about.

It wasn’t until around top bracket did things start to pick up. Not too many spoilers, because (1) no spoilers before they upload the vod and (2) I have a terrible memory when it comes to the matches.

I remember holding up Kevin’s phone to stream to our Discord because we had some non-PM player friends who wanted to see and I think Kevin wanted Thomas (ThundeRzReiGN) to give him some advice throughout the tournament. Not actually coach, but to critique his play.

As more and more top players fell, Kevin made it a goal to do his best not to fall into the landmine that was Losers’. So many heavy hitters were large threats to him: Techboy, Malachi, Akimi, Cloudburst...

Not to say that Winners’ side didn’t have their fair share of monsters: Peter, Parker, Kumatora, Twisty, Nogh, Lunchables...

Kevin’s first match in Top 32 was against Bongo, who people sleep on quite a lot. For those of you that don’t know him, he’s a Captain Falcon from NY who actually beat Kevin at Flex Zone 3 in 2018. Kevin had beaten him at Encore, but it wasn’t easy.

Not to mention Falcon is a pain the butt for Mario. Unfortunately, the match was not recorded (as far as I know), and it was a very exciting match from what I heard. I avoided watching it because based on how long it took, I knew it had to have been a Game 5. During that time, two matches have been finished on “stream.”

Kevin had said his match against Bongo was the toughest one he had - not to discredit his other opponents, of course - but according to him, it was the scariest and closest. Also the threat of being put into Losers so early would’ve made the climb to Top 8 a lot harder.

His overall goal was actually to make Top 8. Despite being a third seed and rank 5, what I’ve noticed about Kevin is that he does have doubts about himself quite often. He’s never complacent in his opponents and worries all the time about being upset and I don’t think anyone puts more pressure on him more than himself.

As I watched my friends progress through bracket, all I can think is there’s not much I can do. I don’t understand the game very much, despite my heavy involvement in the scene. In fact, more often than not, I believe I understand the game the least compared to everyone else.

A tangent from the actual tournament itself is coming, but I think I should address why I’m even in this community:

While everyone loves the game, I love the community behind it. I find it worth it to sit/stand in one location for hours at a time because it allows my friends to enjoy the game they love comfortably without worrying how the tournament is progressing. They can focus on their own growth and passion.

I think what I see is completely different. Like I said, I don’t really understand this game - I can’t differentiate uairs, bairs, d-smashes, etc. I compute it in my head, but can’t visualize it. I don’t recognize most combos - in fact, more often than not, I’m sitting there just staring at the screen kind of blankly. Sometimes, it does make me wonder if I really am part of this community because I don’t really understand the game.

I can’t say I particularly care too much about the game, but I understand how much of an impact it’s made on me and for that, I’m very thankful for this game because it’s led me to some great people.

Back to the actual event and less sap. lol. Is anybody still even reading?

For something put together in a mere two weeks, Trin and their team did an amazing job. Three recording set ups, graphics, a pot, a venue... props to them for gathering the scraps and making a whole out of it. And to think we almost didn’t go.

Madeline (Swanner) ended up coming and it was honestly so good to see her. We aren’t particularly close, but she’s someone I’ve come to care for and just want happiness for her.

Major spoiler, but I don’t think anybody who cares about PM/P+ doesn’t know Kevin won the tournament.

Everyone expected a pop-off, but Kevin just sat there, crying.

I don’t think there’s ever been anything that Kevin has been more passionate about. He loves this game; he loves this community. Never did it ever occur to him that he would win.

I wish I could say more, but honestly, him winning stunned me speechless. And if you didn’t know, the first thing he said after was that he had to call his mother.

His mom is one of his biggest supporters and I love her to death. She has such a huge heart and has never, ever frowned upon Kevin’s love for the game, whole-heartedly supporting it.

I hugged Maddy, because I can’t even imagine how heart-breaking it must be for her to see what could have been on the mainstage. I imagined how much it must’ve hurt her because she just loves the game and the community, but to see it constantly be torn down by Nintendo and her unable to do anything... Give Maddy a hug and thank her if you see her. She deserves the world.

We ended up walking home with PNW, Bob, Mar, Bongo, Cameron (LoyaL), Ivan, and a few others, honestly too dark to completely see and name. It was a very nice night.

We did, however, pass by the rundown house that definitely looked like if we were to talk in there, we’d be killed by the axe murderer that lived there.

Kevin also lagged behind a lot because his phone notifications were going off like crazy and I was worried he was going to just get lost in the darkness or get hit by a car. Stop looking at your phone when you cross the street, dammit.

We got back to our hotel room and ordered pizza - it was bad. God-fucking-dammit, Ohio, why do you suck so much? Kind of a shitty dinner to end the day on, but nothing else was open at 2am. FeelsBadMan.