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a-humble-bagel · 1 year ago

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so i finished good omens season 2 a couple days ago and i have a lot of thoughts about the ending, and how i’m not a big fan of the coffee theory. i think that aziraphale’s decision at the end of the season was actually very in-character, and i honestly love how that ending showed a key difference between aziraphale and crowley, so now im going to explain why i think that.

(this post ended up being about 1,800 words long, so if you don’t feel like reading that much, than just skip to the conclusion/tldr at the end :] )

the last ten minutes of season 2 absolutely ripped my heart out, but i think one of the worst parts is that it honestly feels completely in character for aziraphale because unlike crowley, aziraphale never lost faith in the system. in season 1, for example, he consistently tried to go through the system to try to stop armageddon, even getting to the point where he decided that the archangels were the problem and decided to try to talk to god personally.

crowley, on the other hand, didn’t even think about trying to convince the demons that armageddon was a bad idea, because, unlike aziraphale, he doesn’t believe in the system. to aziraphale, the flaws in the system were individuals like micheal, uriel, and, in season one, gabriel, and never the actual system. it always seemed to him like the archangels were the ones making mistakes, and he always strove to do what he felt was the ‘right’ decision according to his own moral compass.

@inhonoredglory wrote a really good analysis here that i very very highly recommend reading, but to summarize, @inhonoredglory talks about how crowley was the one who helped aziraphale learn that he doesn’t have to follow heaven’s command and to do what his heart deems is right, even if it feels like he’s breaking the rule, and how aziraphale isn’t blind to heaven’s problems but wants to fix them. he’s never stopped wanting to do good.

in addition to this, while aziraphale is still trying to be a good angel, crowley has kinda given up on the whole being a demon and making life worse thing. so while neither aziraphale or crowley follow what their respective sides want, they’re doing it in very different ways. aziraphale is doing what he believes an angel should do, not what heaven believes an angel should do, while crowley doesn’t try to do “demonic” things at all anymore, he’s just kinda living life.

aziraphale wants to do good. crowley wants to live life. those are the two paths and the two different opinions that played a large role in season 2 ending the way it did. it’s a difference the two have always had, but up until this point in the series, those motivations led to them wanting the same thing (stopping armageddon). however, when the metatron offers aziraphale gabriel’s job, suddenly aziraphale’s and crowley’s desires are leading them to two different paths.

but obviously there’s a lot more to their relationship than that. i mean the whole series revolves around how much aziraphale and crowley love each other. like @inhonoredglory said, it was crowley who showed aziraphale that he could defy heaven and that it was better to do what his heart said than what the archangels told him. they clearly both love each other so much, even if neither of them are actually willing to say it. that’s why i think that, as tempted as he was, aziraphale wasn’t originally going to accept the metatron’s offer because he couldn’t just leave crowley, but after the metatron said that he could make crowley an angel again, well,

it was basically all aziraphale wanted wrapped up in one thing. he would be able to do real good and make a change and fix all those problems in heaven, and he’d be able to do it with crowley there with him! it was like a dream come true! it’s tricky to remember since we all (or most of us at least, including me) think of this as them breaking up, but it’s important to remember that neither crowley nor aziraphale actually wanted to leave each other. they were both asking the other to stay with them. i mean aziraphale literally says that he needs crowley.

but with all that, why would aziraphale still end up choosing heaven over crowley if he was really acting of his own volition?

im gonna get to that in a minute, but first let’s take a minute to talk about crowley..

now i’ve been talking a lot about how crowley doesn’t believe in the system anymore, but let’s go into the details now. the opening to the entire season shows crowley basically creating the stars and space and more or less the universe, and then his disappointment at the fact that most of his work won’t even get to be appreciated. he’s clearly upset and plans to ask god about it, assuming he can’t get into trouble for asking a few questions which we know from season one is how he got kicked out of heaven, so it’s very probable that he questioned god, disagreed with god, got kicked out and didn’t seem to care about being “good”.

aziraphale questions whether what heaven is doing is right, where as crowley just questioned god. so, crowley got kicked out because he questioned the system (god) and was met with an “i’m right, you’re wrong” attitude. after all that, why would he trust the system? why would he believe that heaven could be reformed if he’s seen some of the worst stuff it could do? why would he ever want to be an angel again when the first time around, he put all his love and effort into something only for it to be underappreciated, and when he dared to ask otherwise he got kicked out?

also, when he snuck up to heaven, crowley discovered why gabriel went down to earth (or part of it at last). gabriel said no to armageddon 2, he defied the will of the archangels and the metatron (and we assume god as well), and for that he was going to lose all of his power. he only had power as long as he agreed with everyone else, and when he disagreed all of that power was taken away, just like it had been taken away from crowley.

so, as far as crowley sees it. heaven is broken and corrupt and unfixable, and the only way he’s able to do what he likes is without both heaven and hell. after all, that’s all he’s wanted, to be able to do what he wants. he wanted his creation of space to be allowed to develop, he wanted to be left alone by heaven and hell, he wants aziraphale to be there with him. so, to crowley, aziraphale saying he wanted to take over heaven and make crowley and angel again would have seemed like the worst possible thing in the world. being an angel in heaven would take away almost everything he wants, except aziraphale.

so, we have crowley, who needs aziraphale, and needs freedom from heaven and hell, and we have aziraphale who needs crowley, and who needs to be able to do good. now, let’s quickly talk about the metatron’s offer before we get back to aziraphale’s decision. now, when the metatron is talking with aziraphale, it’s clear that at first aziraphale is just being polite. he clearly wants to get away and go back to crowley, until the metatron mentions crowley. even after that, aziraphale still seems very conflicted.

i’d also like to point out that while i don’t believe the coffee theory, the metatron is definetly manipulating aziraphale, he just doesn’t need any magic to do it. the metatron goes out of his way to seem approachable and just like aziraphale (by getting him human coffee), the smile drops from his face and ominous music plays as he and aziraphale leave the bookshop, and, even though he tells aziraphale to ‘take all the time [he] needs’, he’s right back to ask him if he’s made up his mind after only a few short minutes, after he sees crowley storm out. not to mention, the metatron definetly knows more than he lets on, he mentions that crowley was always “asking damn fool questions” which we can assume are the questions about space that got him thrown out of heaven.

@halemerry wrote a really good analysis of the metatron’s manipulation here that goes into a lot more detail than what i just said and i’d really reccomend reading it.

so now aziraphale has to choose between doing what his heart says is the “right” thing to do, and what his heart desires (crowley), and he’s being pressured and mainpulated by the metatron into choosing the first option. now, throughout the series, he’s often conflicted on whether or not he should do what feels right, and crowley has helped him learn that it’s better for him to do what seems good to him. it’s just that in the past that always aligned with him and crowley working together.

and so, no matter how much it’s hurting him, aziraphale chooses to go up to heaven because now he can finally do good. he feels that it’s what he has to do, no matter how painful it is. and when he hears about “the second coming” his determination grows. he has to be up there, someone has to keep things in line, someone has to fix the system. but, what about the smile? why would he smile? well for the same reason he smiled in the bookshop just before he left:

and the same reason he smiled before getting in the elevator:

he’s putting on a brave face. i mean moments before he smiled in the elevator he looked like he was on the verge of tears, but now he’s smiling and trying to pretend as though nothing is wrong.

and that is why aziraphale choosing to go to heaven is in character. because he’s always believed that the problem was the people in the system, not the system itself, because crowley helped him learn to do what he feels is right regardless of his own personal comfort with that, because he doesn’t have the context crowley does of knowing what it’s like to be a high level angel and knowing what exactly got gabriel punished, and because, yes, he is being manipulated by the metatron, but all the metatron needs are words, not coffee.

tldr: aziraphale would choose to go to heaven because he thinks he can fix it, he doesn’t have the context crowley does, the metatron is manipulating him (but not with magic), and he’s learned (through crowley) to do what he feels is right regardless of how uncomfortable it makes him feel. it’s just that in this case, the thing that will let him do the most good is leaving crowley

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens theory #aziraphale #crowley #ineffable husbands #aziracrow #metatron #good omens spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers

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avijohann · 8 days ago

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I have an immense debt with I Don't Hate The Gravity. It's still my favorite fic that I've written, and as far and Johann and Avi's relationship, I think I did a pretty good job. I also tried a lot of new things that ended up becoming staples of my writing (for how little I write nowadays), and I'm very happy that people to this day still see traces of it over my work, and viceversa.

HOWEVER.

Bitch, I put so many fucking easter eggs in that fic that I never ended up addressing.

TL;DR: Gravity is now a series. I'm writing a sequel and spin-offs. Yay!

Spoilers for all of Gravity, obviously.

1. Magnus, Lucretia and the Voidfish.

This one is probably the less affected, I think knowing about their relationship and seeing it in snippets throught Gravity does a good job conveying the secret nature of their relationship, both from the point of view of a third party (who will never get to know the depths of someone else's life just from standing next to them) to the actual plot reason Magnus and Lucretia had to be quiet about it. On top of that, they both had their own personal character arcs that didn't rely on the relationship, which is something I'm very proud of.

That said, I did put a lot of effort into developing their backstory, and even if I summarized it quickly and consistently during Chapter 4, when Johann finds out Magnus' connection to the Voidfish, the way I wrote it was meant to be, I'm not sure you guys picked up, spin-off bait. I totally meant to write a little oneshot of their Voidfish heist.

2. Sweet Flips

Again, there really wouldn't be much to say. They are an stablished couple with their own life. They have (what I hope is) good rapport and are a nice resting point for the narrative when all the other relationships in this fic start getting dramatic.

Except:

"(...) Just because you didn’t PDA back then or even now doesn’t mean it wasn’t obvious to everyone you had it for each other.” “Everyone but us?” “Everyone but you, yep.” “Now you know how we felt in first year,” Avi muttered. Carey started sparkling. “That was different. I actually hated Killian’s guts.” “Yeah, you sure did.”

"Wow, Shi! That sounds like there's a story there! Are you gonna write it?" Well, sure! That's literally why I put that specific conversation there!

3. Taako, from TV?

This is the worst one imho, because unlike the other two where we kinda know what happened and how it ended. Taako's whole TV crisis thing was mentioned ONCE and then never brought up again. I was talking to @crystallizedkingdoms the other day about the Gravity spin-offs I never wrote and they told me they just assumed Taako had poisoned a bunch of people again, which is totally not the case. I planned an entire saga for him about his adventures as the only teenage contestant in a very famous and widely televised cooking show, which ended in betrayal and international embarrassement, and the consequences of putting popularity over those you love.

BUT YOU WOULDN'T KNOW BECAUSE I NEVER FUCKING WROTE IT.

The problem with these three stories isn't that I didn't write them. Everyone in school (at least the named characters) has their own thing going, it's part of the main message I wanted to write with Gravity, that everyone is the protagonist of their own life, even those who don't seem to have much going on, be it because you really can't tell the high stakes everyone is going through, or simply because what might be a nothing burger to you might feel like the end of the world to someone else. Realistically I could've never written every single backstory for every single character. The problem is I actively referenced and, again, baited with these three stories.

Well, I'm here to atone for my sins.

Gravity, the series, has officially launched as The Laws of the Universe, a series of fics centred around Gravity, the fic, exploring the lives of the teenage characters in more Astronomy metaphors.

As a reward for reading this far, and because I really need to be held accountable for this shit, you get to see the titles before anyone else. In no particular order of posting:

Pluto Is Not A Planet (Sweet Flips origin story)

And Then Copernicus Came And Ruined Everything (Taako backstory)

[TITLE TBD] (Magcretia+Voidfish backstory)

All of these are working titles and thus subject to change. As you may have guessed, each title references something related to astronomy, which in turn references the main struggle of the characters in the stories. I also wanted to keep up with the negative sentence structure (I Don't Hate The Gravity, Pluto Is Not A Planet) but found out it didn't work with what I had planed for the sequel, so that has been scrapped.

So, what is up with that sequel?

I need a new post to talk about that, but the most important thoughts have already been written in the notes of that fic. So, to quote myself:

This is a story that's been five years in the making. Some of the themes were originally part of Gravity, but I ended up cutting them out of... cowardice, basically. The thing is, Gravity was always meant to be a more """""realistic"""" take on a High School romcom, and the absence of these themes is not realistic.

I know what you're thinking. Let's talk about it in another post.

Thank you for reading, and see you in future updates!

#idhtg #tlotu #my fic

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hollygl125 · 6 months ago

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On the end of CSI: Vegas:

*Please be warned: This is not in fact a post for fans of (the non-GSR portions of) CSI: Vegas. This is (shocking, I know!) a post for fans of Sara Sidle + Gil Grissom.*

I’d like to pour one out for CSI: Vegas. 🥂

I didn’t watch the series finale of CSI: Vegas, which aired this past Sunday, even though I’d told myself I might, just for the heck of it. I didn’t watch any of last season’s episodes with Greg Sanders, even though I’d told myself I would, though maybe someday I will if I get around to it.

I only watched the first ten episodes of CSI: Vegas—the GSR: The Epilogue episodes—but for those ten episodes I am awfully, terribly, tremendously grateful.

I mean, let’s be real, getting to see the two characters from a long-running TV will-they/won’t they couple come back and be so beautiful together is a one-in-a “I can’t remember seeing it before in my several decades of TV-watching” opportunity.

I’m going to start by quoting what I said on Twitter (for as long as I can stop my iPhone from updating the app it’s still a blue bird and I can use it) a few days after the CSI: Vegas cancellation was announced:

I’m so grateful to CSI: Vegas. By letting us see Sara + Grissom be as beautiful + perfect + magical as I’d have imagined them to be when finally allowed just to be (happy) together, it made the #GSR love story of the original CSI even more satisfying (to me, at least). 💕💕💕

I’m incredibly leery of revivals, which have the ability to wreak so much havoc. On this topic, I’d recommend checking out the story of the 2019 revival of Veronica Mars + the resulting death (murder) of that show’s fandom, if you’re not familiar with it.

Maybe it’s because I read an angstier (for GSR) earlier script for the CSIV pilot. But victories are all too rare, and I can’t call getting to see my two favourite science nerds be happy + gorgeous together anything but a win. Thanks always to JF + WP for being so magical. 💕💕💕

For those not familiar with the murder of the Veronica Mars fandom, I’m going to summarize it, because (in my mind, at least) it forms a kind of interesting parallel with CSI (specifically, the GSR of it all), despite being a three-season (and a movie and a fourth season) cult show, as opposed to the fifteen-season, most-watched scripted show of the millennium.

At the end of the second season (2/3 of the way through the original three seasons, which I’ll roughly line up with “Way to Go” (CSI, 09x10)), Ms. Mars and her beloved were happily reunited. But, by the time the show was cancelled a year later, TPTB had split the couple up. A movie was needed to reunite them and give everyone the happily-ever-after the show’s creator knew the fans craved. (I mean, does that not sound familiar? In the case of Veronica Mars, the movie was a Kickstarter-funded theatre release that came out in 2014, seven years after the show’s cancellation, but still; there’s a parallel to be made.)

Then roughly five years later an eight-episode revival was announced. Veronica Mars + Logan Echolls (“LoVe”) are one of my all-time favourite fictional couples. So was I excited? No, I was terrified. We’d left them happily together and in love. Why f*** with that? I tried to convince myself everything would be okay.

It wasn’t. The show’s creator sh*t on the fans in the worst way possible, and his justifications for it were positively insulting, just, you know, to women as a whole. (Luckily the season dropped earlier than scheduled on Hulu, and I was spoiled and spared the agony of actually watching it.)

So, as I noted on Twitter, I am incredibly leery of revivals. Sometimes we need the chance to give a proper ending to a beloved story (as in the case of the Veronica Mars and CSI (“Immortality”) movies). But sometimes a story needs an actual ending—it needs actually to end—so it has meaning and finality. And that is impossible when things keep getting revived.

My threshold then, for a revival, the bar by which I measure it, is simply that I need it not to f*** up what came before it. The Veronica Mars revival failed horribly (to put it mildly) in that respect. Whereas CSI: Vegas . . . well, to my mind, it made the GSR storyline of the original CSI even better and more satisfying, by letting us see how perfect and beautiful and happy and luminescent (and I could go on . . .) Sara and Grissom would be together if finally allowed to be just that.

I usually like to respond to what I would consider to be negative “bad takes” simply by making my own more positive point(s). But I am going to break that rule here for just a minute. On Twitter (yes, I know, my own fault!) sometimes I still see GSR fans complaining about CSI: Vegas: the ��cut kiss” or GSR not getting enough screen time or GSR not seeming married enough (I think because they never got naked—I don’t know—I don’t really get that take myself—they were so divinely married!) or . . . again I don’t know. And it makes me kind of sad, and it drives me kind of ’round the bend. I really think that, if a GSR fan cannot appreciate the beauty WP and JF gave us in CSI: Vegas, they are snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. (I think they tend to be young, and I want to tell them: “Life is hard enough!!! Don’t set up roadblocks for yourself!”)

Aside from the GSR of it all, CSI: Vegas admittedly wasn’t really my cup of TV tea. Tonally it felt like it existed in a somewhat different universe; it reminded me more of Bones than of the OG CSI. Now, I watched all of Bones, more than once, so this isn’t meant to be an insult to Bones; it’s just not what I would be looking for from CSI.

But, the truth is, I wasn’t looking for more CSI. All I needed was for CSI: Vegas not to f*** things up for Sara and Grissom, and on that score it didn’t just meet but exceeded expectations.

I also love that CSI: Vegas put together such a diverse cast; they deserve an A+ for that. Although I didn’t watch either of them, I’m really unimpressed that CSI canned two women-led procedurals. (An obvious response here is that I should have been watching them, but I watch very, very little new TV these days and don’t live in the U.S., anyway, and honestly I just can’t with NCIS anymore.) Progress is achieved in fits and starts, I guess.

(I also will mention that literally hundreds of people work on these shows—Zuiker says 400 in his “Immortality” commentary. So, while it’s the nature of the industry, it’s always rough for those hundreds of people who had presumably-coveted network drama jobs suddenly to be in search of work, so I find it pretty insensitive to be revelling in the cancellation of a show, no matter how much you personally may not have liked it. That’s aside from the fact that, even if you didn’t like it, presumably some other people did.)

I guess that’s all I needed to say, for now.

Whoops, no, one more kind of important point for me: I watched CSI as it originally aired, and Sara + Grissom together were my favourite part of it, but I was not in any sense down the rabbit hole for them. I watched “Immortality,” I was incredibly grateful they were reunited, I wished they had kissed, and . . . I thought of them no more. For some reason OG CSI repeats have never been available where I live? So I thought of them no more—until CSI: Vegas started. We were in the midst of a pandemic, and I shelled out $100 to iTunes so I could rewatch CSI as love story. My CSI rewatch and CSI: Vegas reignited the spark, the disastrous path my mental health was on provided the lighter fuel, and I wound up down this rabbit hole with all of you. . . .

If you’re interested in that angstier earlier script for the CSI: Vegas pilot . . . well, I’ll save that for another day!

But, for now, won’t you join me in pouring one out for CSI: Vegas? 🥂

#csi #csi: vegas #gsr #otp: gsr #sara x grissom #grissom x sara #sara sidle #gil grissom #jorja fox #william petersen #💛: survivors in the night #my thoughts and feelings on the two lovely science nerds

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milliemuus · 11 months ago

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I think that during the fight between Ogerpon and Pecharunt, it was a tough fight, since Pecharunt had a type advantage and set up 3 nasty plots earlier, however, it ended leaving when the humans arrived. Moveset wise I think it would be (Nasty Plot, Recover, Shadow Ball and Malignant Chain).

Now, remember the whole soul absorption? Well, I believe that it can also release these souls with a chain attached to them like a hive-mind. The souls would look like the ghost sprites in the gen 1 games. Their main purpose is to manipulate their victims into killing themselves. However, if the victim was able to stand against it, it would change into the person it was before but ghostly, and would kill the victim by force instead.

Also, I feel that when a person is under Pecharunt’s control, all their Pokémon’s Tera type are poison. This is sort of confirmed when I went to Carmine and Kieran’s grandfather’s Bulbapedia page where his Pokémon all have the poison Tera type.

And if we’re still going by the fusion idea, I would say Pecharunt would just be the base form while Dokuwāro is the fusion between Pecharunt, Mega Rayquaza, Original Dragon Kyurem, Zygarde Complete Forme, Hoopa Unbound, Ultra Necrozma, Eternamax Eternatus and Stellar Form Terapogas. I may need to think how it absorbs them, but the idea sounds badass and legitimately makes Pecharunt look intimidating as hell.

Now, I would say Dokuwāro’s size is slightly bigger than Regidrago. Since it’s a fusion, I’d like to think its shell can split into 6 pieces referencing Hoopa, one arm is out of each segment which looks like Necrozma’s but textually like Eternatus. The tiny hands that Pecharunt has are now arms with claws at the end resembling Zygarde but Tera and Dynamax energy texturally around it and a knuckle claw in the middle that resembles Mega Rayquaza’s jaw or something. However, this fusion would be cohesive and not just a series of random mutations.

Now, since Pecharunt has a busted defense stat of 160, I think Dokuwāro’s defenses are through the roof. Its shell is impervious to any attack and the core is difficult to damage. Not to mention, now that is literally 8 legendaries fused, it can now block attacks by punching them.

Did I make it overpowered? Yes. Is it necessary? Yes. Is it possible for the protagonists to beat it? Maybe not.

Now, these abilities and Pecharunt in the PV Au actually have several inspirations:

The whole soul absorption is because of the third signboard, while the two signboards were answered, this one wasn’t. So, I believe that Pecharunt is behind if you were to look into what the signboard says.

The whole manipulating people to kill themselves, is inspired by the Mandela Catalogue, the Alternates specifically. These entities are shapeshifters who can take the form of their victim’s close members. They whisper things to their victims which cause them to have Metaphysical Awareness Disorder, which drives them insane and they kill themselves. Whereas, the soul killing the victim by force is a reference to the Corruption in a Friday Night Funkin mod. Basically, if the corrupted person fails to corrupt their victim, it mutates and resorts to killing them instead.

The whole absorbing legendaries is a direct reference to Aggregor in Ben 10, in the show, he absorbs 5 Andromeda Aliens to have enough energy to access a certain place and there he can become god. Pecharunt is sort of doing the same thing. Also, how the fusion is designed is inspired by how O.R.Ash (from The Ink Tank) designs his fusions, he’s not called ‘The Fusion Man’ for nothing.

Pecharunt wanting nothing but revenge is a loose reference to Aspheera from Lego Ninjago. In the show, it’s shown that Aspheera wants nothing but revenge on the person that betrayed her, that’s loosing summarizing what she did, but Pecharunt did something similar.

For the shell and punch blocking, it’s a direct reference to Bowser in ‘Mario and Luigi: Bowser’s Inside Story’ where in order for him to block attacks, he can either hide under his shell, or punch the attack away.

Finally, for the taking over god part, it’s also inspired by the Mandela Catalogue, where an alternate (most likely Satan) replaced Gabriel and made humanity pray to it. It used religion is a weapon. Sounds awfully like how the story of Ogerpon and the Loyal Three is misinterpreted right? Each story was not the same as their originals and what really happened was a second party influenced the events. Specaking of god, Arceus and Pecharunt are the only two mythical pokemon to be trio masters, this sort of indirectly makes a reference to a phrase in the Mandela Catalogue called ‘There’s not enough room for the two of us’. Indirectly referencing Pecharunt thinking that there can only be one mythical trio master and one god of this timeline. Loose reference, but it’s there.

I’ve rambled on A LOT. But I just wanna express my thoughts, and I felt three need to include what Pecharunt’s inspired by and references I this Au so you get a better understanding. Next time, I’ll think of some quotes that it might say. But anyways, thanks for reading this! It really appreciate it.

I thought I'd never see someone else get inspired by Bowser's Inside Story like,,, ik for you it was different but I love these ideas! I never idealized the idea Dokutaro or Dokuwāro as you say possess the OTHER MYTHICALS AND LEGENDARIES!!! Maybe I could implement these ideas

Idk if I wanna take from like, concepts like Mandela catalogue but it is SO MUCH TO THINK ABT /POS

Also, I still know NOTHING abt Mochi Mayhem or nothin and hope to keep it that way since I want to be as accurate or as imaginative as can be but you mention Dokutaro would have Malignant Chain..that a move? NO SPOILS I BEG I BEG

Anyhoo, with bowsers inside story for inspiration, Idk why but that one feller that can stack on top of itself and is a boss and is just yellow eyes,,,its giving Pecharunt

Ive been listening to the BIS soubdtrack admittedly, mainly for nostalgia purposes but I also was inspired to make an au of "What if Project Venus Kieran got zip-zapped by Terapagos and sent to the canon story, or maybe Project Venus itself sent him" idk I have to be kinda vague WHICH SUCKS BUT

But Project Venus!Kieran is kinda cocky like Bowser, and possessed by Dokutaro it makes him moreso. Of he was ever isekai'd into the canon story it would most def be after Indigo Disk, and he'd deffo be looking for Ogerpon or go back to Blueberry Academy and try to regain control since he also lost it in his canon, I'm sure.

AHGWDHJDUX NOW IM RAMBLING AND MY WORDS ARE EVERYWHERE BUT YOURE GIVING ME A LOT OF INSPIRATION

Also I NEVER WATCHED THAT FAR INTO NINJAGO BUT BASED NINJAGO FAN!! THERES SO MUCH CHARACTER-BUILDING I COULD DO FOR DOKUTARO/PECHARUNT AND AUUUUGHHH I WISH I WAS AT THAT PART ALREADY HRRRGHHG

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highfantasy-soul · 8 months ago

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NATLA - Episode 2: Warriors (2/4)

[Masterlist of my NATLA thoughts]

An explanation of what I'm doing here and my history with ATLA.

Of course, full spoilers ahead.

Love love LOVE that they made the Kyoshi statue not only GIANT and made of stone (her native element) but also transformed it into a shrine to her. Feels so lived in and carefully crafted for her. Of course Sokka just walks right in, feeling no sense of 'hey maybe I shouldn't just barge into a temple' and EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! The introduction of the Kyoshi warriors was fantastic! All those women coming out in full regalia and handling the Gaang with ease - then the 'sign' that Aang was the Avatar. You can feel the reverence for Kyoshi in everything the people of the island do and I love how the leader's reasoning she finally gives for letting the Gaang stay is that Kyoshi herself benefited from the kindness of strangers - it really cements just how much of their lives they connect directly to their island's namesake (and creator). Speaking of, love that the island's leader is actually a woman this time, actually following through on the idea the animated version had of an island filled with strong warrior women.

Not going to lie, the few lines Suki has with her mother where she convinces her to allow the Avatar to stay does more to flesh out Suki's character than the entire episode in the animated series. Sue me, but you know I'm right. Animated Suki existed solely to teach Sokka that 'girls strong too' and that was it. She had no agency other than 'strong warrior' - no hopes, fears, wants, history. She existed to further the male character's development and it wasn’t until after the writers saw how much people liked her that they decided to bring her back in season 2 of the animated show. She was literally supposed to be a one off character. I've already posted about Suki and the changes made to her here, but to summarize, in the live-action, she gets to be her own character, not just a 'lesson' for Sokka. She has her own wants and desires, wishes and fears - as does her mother. These female characters are given depth and their struggles make sense in the world.

Aang's beautiful belief in humanity and wanting to 'bring back the world he knew where people were happy' is so heartwarming and I can't believe anyone would deny him anything, but it makes sense that the people of the island would be hesitant to welcome him in. After all, they don't know him or why he's been gone 100 years and everyone is right - he brings trouble with him wherever he goes because of his status as the Avatar. He also seeds a theme that comes around in full force in the finale - that Aang doesn't feel like he belongs here. He's truly a man out of time and feels untethered to the world - which leads him to be perfectly fine merging with the Ocean Spirit with no intention of surviving as himself. Through the season, we see Sokka and Katara building that tether between them and it pays off as Katara brings Aang back from the brink of no return by pulling on that tether they've created themselves

Sokka's whole epic fail of a flirtation while Aang and Katara just grin in the background was amazing. Him asking Katara for his lines: genius. I like this development for Sokka's character MUCH more than the animated storyline where the writers were beating over our heads SOKKA IS SEXIST GUYS! LOOK HOW SEXIST HE IS! DO YOU GET THAT HE'S SEXIST?? Having him want to connect with another warrior because he feels inadequate in his own ability to be a protector is a much better way to build up his character than a sexist storyline that's resolved in a single episode and never affects anything ever again. Feeling like a failure after having a massive amount of responsibility shoved on you as a child, all the while knowing that your father had reservations about your leadership skills, is a much much much more interesting and deep character trait to work through than 'ladies weak, can no fight, only man strong'.

In the live-action, he's still proud of being a warrior, but we see the cracks in this façade - he has issues with feeling inadequate that he tries to hide - issues that are much more interesting and far-reaching than just 'he doesn't think girls can fight and is an ass about it'.

I like this introduction of Zhao a lot - he's not just an obvious macho man who wants to seize power from Zuko, but rather he's much more sneaky and knows how to use the resources at his disposal. Zuko, of course, marches in and makes demands while Iroh smooths over ruffled feathers and brings tact to the information requests while Zuko stalks off, annoyed. It's a great way to set up his eventual maturity and us understanding why he's always posturing in front of other fire nation soldiers - like Sokka, he's struggling with feelings of inadequacy because he isn't everything his father expected him to be, and so he's over compensating. Something I also appreciate with this iteration of Iroh is that I never felt like he was doing an impression of Mako - he made the character his own, there was a different energy with him which did give me pause on my first watch but I do appreciate that he brought his own spin to the character and I think it's a perfectly acceptable change - something I'll touch on in future episodes when we start dealing with the more serious aspects of Iroh like his being a brutal military leader.

A big complaint I've seen is that the Gaang didn't get a lot of time to just goof around and be kids, but I felt that there were moments of levity and fun in almost every episode, especially in the first ones. Aang and Katara playing in the water on Kyoshi island, Aang playing with the kids in town (and doing his classic air scooter into the statue), and I'll mention the moments in later episodes too. While it's not a WHOLE lot of goofy fun times, I still felt Aang's optimism and belief in the goodness of people through the whole show like his conversation with the leader of Kyoshi Island. The animated show had the beginning of every episode to devote to a little scene of everyone having down time and enjoying life, but the live-action couldn't follow that same structure. Plus a lot of the 'fun times' are quite slapstick and can't translate to live-action especially since the animated version, at least in season 1, wanted to keep the extremely child-friendly vibes where no one is ever in any real danger despite the wildly dangerous things that are happening to them. Again, that can work in a cartoon where you know if the Unagi tail-slaps Aang, he'll be fine, but in live-action, that doesn't work so well and can muddy the waters when characters really ARE in danger.

Totally get why they avoided the Koi riding and Unagi storyline too - 1) it's just a massive detour that cuts the flow of the story when you only have 8 episodes to work with and 2) they're already having to juggle tons of sets, flying, and stunts - they don’t need to add a pool set and all the safety issues swimming while filming adds - not to mention the CGI for the Koi and Unagi. I know a big character moment for Aang was going back and using the Unagi to put out the fires in the village - showing that he's taking steps to not run away anymore and even if it's just one town, he was going to do what he could to help. The live-action moved this character beat to Omashu when Aang sees the damage the bombings are having on the city and decides to stay and help instead of moving on - so same character beat, but just in a different place that allows the story to flow more smoothly with what they have (and the lesson they're exploring for each episode)

#natla #netflix atla #avatar the last airbender #netflix avatar #natla spoilers

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altschmerzes · 2 years ago

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book club with gav! book 2: reputation

reputation by sarah vaughan

i picked this one up from the bookstore because i recognized the author, having watched and..... decently enjoyed the netflix limited series 'anatomy of a scandal' which was adapted out of another of her books. i didn't want to just read anatomy of a scandal because i'd watched the series, and i wanted to enjoy a New Story. i liked the look of it, it seemed to be dealing with some elements that i find really compelling - courtroom drama, political drama, social and journalism media, etc. reputation on the whole is something i'm a little obsessed with. thought all that sounded cool.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: gang it is not good. this is not a good book. the writing style was in DESPERATE need of an editor, with details that seemed irrelevant peppered all over, overstuffed bloated sentences that confused what was being described and why, etc. it also had a habit of utilizing a narrative trick that i think can be very fun if it's used effectively and sparingly. (i've used it myself actually, and i try to apply the same approach - use it sparingly, and make sure that it works enough to justify it.) it's this sort of like- there's probably an actual literary term for this, but it's like. retrospective narrative commentary on what's happening, 'i.e. i wouldn't know until later how bad of an idea that was, it was naive of me to trust him, at the time i believed him, this would come back to bite me when, etc'. this book used this so fucking often that it didn't just foreshadow future events including twists, it just. flat out told you what they were all going to be, leaving you able to predict beat for beat what was going on like 75% of the time. the povs were ineffectively deployed, and half of them didn't need to exist. the timeline jumping was fun for me but i can see that it would be hard to track if you weren't specifically watching it like i was. i didn't like the characters. any of them. the protagonist was infuriating and not in a fun way. and the overall promised thing that was the most compelling about the dust jacket - the way it stated the protagonist "is a liar" played out in the most boring way possible. the most interesting information came at the very, very end in the last, extremely short portion of the book that was effectively an epilogue, and it wasn't set up well.

now. in order to contextualize my thoughts about this book it is necessary to like..... go into a plot synopsis. it’s an EXTENDED plot synopsis. so that and my thoughts will be below the cut. general cw for this book that it's a murder mystery, so there's that, and this discussion of it will include brief and nondescriptive references to a mentioned suicide (we don't even know the character, he's related to a very small side character), revenge porn and nonconsensual nude pictures that are nonconsensually distributed, and some discussion of sexual assault/predatory relationships.

plot summary! so the plot of the book can be summarized this way: protagonist, emma webster, is a member of british parliament. she's a labour mp. she's an advocate for women's rights and feminist issues specifically, and has a current agenda about an anti-revenge porn bill. because of her advocacy, she sees a LOT of online harassment and threats of a truly vile nature, and some twitter threads and social media posts are included in the book. i love this sort of thing (the media threads), but i wish they'd done more with it. she is divorced and has a 14 year old daughter. her ex-husband is remarried to a former friend of hers from when she was a teacher. she is working with a specific journalist on this revenge porn bill. she lives part time in a home in her constituency, and part time in a home she shares with two other female mps close to parliament in london. events go down as follows, though i'm not 100% clear on the timeline, because this book had 45 plots. - protagonist is getting threats, she thinks her daughter is unaware of them, is mostly brushing them off while also being super intensely freaked out about them - daughter is having trouble at school: she's being bullied by an ex-friend who among other things has an instagram making fun of her - protagonist has a particularly angry and frightening interaction with a scary man from her constituency who's mostly mad he thinks she doesn't care about veterans issues because she doesn't talk about or campaign on them - threats she's receiving amp up, she starts to get texts direct to her mobile - she is freaking out constantly about her security and whether she’s safe at home. thinks every man she sees is going to throw acid in her face, which is both reasonable as a fear (genuine heightened threat to female politicians) and unreasonable as a fear (white women who consume too much true crime and think every single person in the universe is personally trying to serial kill them specifically complex). - she fucks the journalist and then immediately is like hm i should not have fucked that journalist, immediately ends the relationship and basically ghosts him, they don't even work together professionally after that. - the morning after she fucks the journalist she finds out daughter has taken secret nudie pics of her ex friend in order to teach that ex friend a lesson about...... being a bully and also too proud of her body? i guess???? and sent it to the boy her ex friend likes. the police are involved. it could be a child porn charge bc both girls are 14. the boy is 16. - this is gonna be really fucking bad for the protag and for daughter if it gets out to the news, especially given protag is campaigning against revenge porn and uh... well... this is similar enough it's gonna be hugely bad. - protagonist is obsessed and anxious to pieces about the possibility of this leaking - the daughter isn't actually charged, she just sort of gets suspended from school and then sent to another unit in the school for problem studentsTM. literally this is all of the consequences the daughter sees for her behaviour. that’s the whole thing. - threatening texts are persisting, protagonist thinks Angry Man Constituent is stalking her, bc he is, we see this in... his pov for some fucking reason - journalist lets protagonist know that he's been tipped off about a story involving the daughter that they can't print for legal reasons but if she works with them, they can spin it well - protagonist flips shit - she then concludes journalist is also stalking her. his paper posts pictures of her taking the trash out and is like She Seems Stressed! she takes this as an indication that he personally and specifically is stalking her and hates her and wants to take her down and ruin her daughter’s life, thinks there is a coded message in the article about her daughter. - journalist turns up dead (he's badly hurt in her home, dies in hospital) - protagonist goes on trial for his death - she initially tells the cops and her friends and Everyone that she came home and found him at the bottom of the stairs. turns out this was a lie. she pushed him. trial is basically on whether it was murder or self defense. - trial occurs, she is acquitted, important detail we learn is that the journalist got a message from a FB account he thought was her inviting him to the house. big part of the trial was that he was just There when she got home and she thought he was there to like. attack her or smth. - things we learn after the trial in the last like, 40-ish pages of the book: - the angry man constituent comes to the trial and yells at her when she's acquitted that his son (a vet) has died by suicide, and is then arrested and given a non-contact order - the threatening texts were not coming from him, they were coming from her daughter's ex-friend now-bully's mom? i guess? - her daughter is the one who sent the message inviting the journalist to the house in her mom's name. she wanted to talk to him, convince him not to run the story because she figured it was on her to handle the situation for some reason. - journalist got "x-rated" photos from a former university lecture section tutor of protagonist from when she was like 19 and in a sexual relationship with him (a pretty predatory one it seems) that will destroy the former tutor now-professor and political pundit's reputation (which would be a good thing, he sucks). this will also be devastating for protagonist (bad, yikes, bro, no). he wants to offer to protagonist that if she will work with them on that story, which will also prop up the point they're making together about her anti revenge porn bill, he will bury the thing with the daughter entirely. - this is what he was coming to talk to her about that day, and this is why she pushed him down the stairs. because she did. it's made clear in the last bit that she very much did Panic And Murder Him. - the reason the daughter didn't get there in time to be there first, why the protagonist got there first and this all happened, and there was so much confusion over who invited him there and why and all that, is that her train was delayed bc of. the constituent's son's suicide. whoof. - the step-mom knows what the daughter did. - none of this....... ever comes out i guess? it all kind of fizzles. that's it that's the book.

oKAY. now for: my thoughts.

fuck this book sucked so bad.

it was so distracted. it could not decide what it wanted the plot to be, or what it wanted the twists to be, or what they wanted to focus on, and it made all of its contents so much more muddled because of that. i was so thrown by the angry man constituent because literally the only relevance he actually ended up having to the story was as a direct case representation of the way the protagonist was being harassed and stalked and that his son's suicide was what delayed the daughter from getting there before the protagonist got home and found the journalist there. WE GOT HIM AS A POV CHARACTER. WHY? WHY DID WE NEED THAT???? all the stuff with the daughter was so unclear too? everyone here is an unreliable narrator which is fine but the way that they were unreliable was so like....... confused and muddled and nonspecific. did the daughter and the protagonist drop the ex-bff when protag got elected and ice her out? did ex-bff stop talking to the daughter for no reason and then get mean to her For No Reason? i have genuinely, honestly, really no fucking idea. and it's all like this. two characters will have wildly different perceptions of an event or a string of events, and there is NO clarity on which of them is right. which like, i'm struggling to articulate my issue with this, because that's a narrative choice you can make, but i think it does a disservice when we just... all of them are like this? they're all the same amount of unreliable, which makes it completely impossible to tell who actually IS unreliable, and there's just no way to know what actually fucking happened in this fucking book. i like an unreliable narrator. i don't like not knowing what the hell happened in a book like. On The Whole. there's no follow-through. there's no contextualization. there's no way to anchor any of it to reality. it made me nuts.

the protagonist was self-centred, sanctimonious, boring, and non-committal. there was nothing likable about her, either as a person or as a protagonist. she took so little action in her own life, and there was like... the lying that i was promised in the dust jacket didn't pan out in any kind of interesting way. she lied about finding the journalist at the bottom of the stairs when really she pushed him, but this is revealed so fast it barely matters, and the rest of the book has two small instances of what seems to be her misremembering minor interactions with other characters and saying something didn't happen when it did, and then being Seen As A Liar because she. lied about the initial finding the journalist. and then i guess not disclosing the things with the pics of her and her ex-tutor but... it just. didn't pan out in a way that was at all interesting. everyone else also sucked but it was never clear how much? the daughter's step-mom was like everyone thinks of me as the Other Woman and it's not fair 😠 and the journalist was doing some shitty journalism things though nowhere near as much as protagonist thought and the daughter did some shitty things too and never had any kind of sympathetic impression to me.

there was what i referred to often as like, milquetoast girlboss feminism all over this book. it was STEEPED in it. the whole thing was like, a thesis on how dangerous it is to be a female politician, which, yes! this is SO true! but it had nothing to say about that reality except that it exists, and there was also like... idk it felt very like, this is a perspective and landscaped shaped by White Girl True Crime in a lot of ways? she was obsessed with her own risk and this was never examined in any way. a lot of it was legitimate and real and a lot of it wasn't. she thinks every single person she interacts with is out to get her- specifically every man, which okay, i can get that. but also like... it caused her to lash out at everyone she knows, freak her daughter out, be unreasonable and cruel to her roommates. she had a simultaneous need to think she was two seconds from being murdered at all times and also to act to everyone around her like everything was fine, while also expecting them to take every concern she had immediately seriously at defcon 1. this was never unpacked. she wore a well behaved women rarely make history shirt in the second paragraph, talked about The Trolls all the time, and the book quoted harry potter in the daughter's section. it made weird and uncomfortable choices with race, when it engaged with race at all. just. overall hm.

here is an example of the way that race is dealt with here, in a section where the protagonist is about to be cross-examined by the crown prosecutor.

lot going on HERE huh! and it is all completely unexamined. yikes!

and then there’s this - the only other time when a character is identified as a person of colour. it’s a very uncomfortable thread where the like. it girl, most popular kid in school who the protagonist's daughter's friend abandoned her to suck up to is the only other identified character of colour in this book aside from this prosecutor and the daughter is repeatedly - REPEATEDLY - referred to as, and i’m directly quoting here, “an english rose.” she’s just so pale and thin you see. that’s why she’s so bullied, you see. because she’s so so so white. and so so so sooooooo thin. qualities well known to cause bullying in high school students- anyways. here’s the description of the most popular girl in school. who the daughter’s friends abandoned her for.

once again! YIKES! LOT going ON here! let’s unpack some of it shall we! (putting aside some of the... cringeworthy attempts at a grownass woman trying to emulate the slang of current day 14 year olds. i know it’s been eleven years since i was 14 but “bae-girl” is Nothing and im embarrassed for her just reading it. a lot of her Teen Talk has sounded good and natural but this is NOT it and her texting slang was atrocious.)

anyways. so. idk how it plays off to have your protagonist’s redheaded extremely pale skinned “english rose” daughter set up to be the target of social ostracism and bullying because her friends all chose trying to get close to the school’s super popular It Girl, who is described Like That. i think Not Good! not that there are never school hierarchies that fall down these lines but way these descriptions are presented and the language around them plus the whole “you an author are making up the social landscape here and are making some questionable choices villainizing a “confident, mean, hard” brown girl in contrast to the sensitive and delicate extremely pale white girl”” thing is like……. there are choices being made and i don’t like them.

and then there’s the ex best friend herself. who the daughter took the creepshot of and sent it to the boy the exbff likes. who is described like this (content warning for some SURPRISE! fatphobia as well!)

Flora hated her for this. She hated her for being so comfortable with her body. Despite her rounded tummy and the fat bulging over her bra, she liked herself enough to parade around the changing room, her double-Ds shoved up, her head tilted to one side.

i would like to remind the court at this time that this is the same ex-bff who is apparently basing a large part of her bullying campaign on how So So So THIN this girl is. because you know. the fat girl bullying the thin girl for how thin she is - another famously common high school social dynamic. you know how fat girls rule the school and thin girls are just so- sorry i can’t even stick the landing on that sarcastically lmao. again. not that things never shake out this way but 1. this is an author making choices and doing zero critical engagement with them, 2. this is playing into some bad shit and i hate it.

there are so many other things i could get into here. i have so many examples of sentences that were written so, so badly. i have so many specific moments that sucked ass. but i would keep going forever if i didn’t stop, i just want to leave on one last note: it’s not that the protagonist was a shitty person. it’s not that bad things happened and no one saw proper consequences. it’s that like- it’s that none of it was intentional. she sucked and i don’t think she was supposed to, at least not that much. i was promised a protagonist who was a liar. that was not what i got. i got ONE lie and two instances where she seemed to either mildly misrepresent or misremember a specific conversation she had. i got Poor Protagonist, She Told One Little Panic Lie And Now EVERYONE Thinks She’s A LIAR! Poor Baby! i got milquetoast girlboss white girl feminism that was completely uncritically presented. i got ‘everyone is out to get me all the time’ and this was given as a perfectly reasonable thing to believe and act on not ‘the real danger she faces has warped her worldview and she either needs some serious help or to find another career, as it is causing her excessive amounts of distress and she is lashing out at everyone in her life without consideration for their feelings or experiences or fears. ugh.

anyways. forthcoming are the two (2) shining lights from this book aka moments that were so fucking ludicrous they made me laugh hysterically. but that’s a separate post that i’ll make in a moment.

#gav gab #book club with gav

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rnsk-kousatsu · 2 months ago

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Song Analysis of モラトリアム (Moratorium) in the Context of Tomoe’s Character Arc in Growing

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Sung by: Miyazono Tomoe (CV. Hirose Yuuya) Lyrics written by: Azuma Ryou Composed/arranged by: Ono Takamitsu

I know モラトリアム (which I’ll write as Moratorium from now on) is a relatively old song, especially since it was released 2 years ago as part of the Growing series (specifically Creation3, which you can listen to here), and on top of that, TCS has also released several new song series in the past 2 years alone. However, I recently got to watch the live performance of the song (I hesitated linking it here at first due to the implications *coughs*piracy*coughs*, but I feel like more people should experience it, so watch it here), and it moved me a lot to the point that it compelled me to listen closely to the song and check the audio drama again.

For the record, Tomoe has always been my favorite character in TCS — not just because he’s voiced by my favorite seiyuu (though it certainly does factor into it), but also because his character arc — especially in Growing — deals with themes that have always resonated with me deeply: passion versus external expectations. Tomoe, coming from a high-standing family, felt like the expectations pushed onto him were always unfair — not only because he couldn’t quite live up to them due to his lack of ability to do so (the constant comparison to his “perfect” older brother, Kanae, didn’t help either), he also felt his family suppressed his own personal dreams of pursuing singing and music, which his parents had constantly derided as “useless”. He mistakenly believed that by taking revenge on his family and removing them from the picture, he’d finally be able to pursue his dream in peace. It took him the whole audio drama (and with the help of Mirai, his buddy in Growing) to realize that eradicating the people he viewed as “obstacles” wasn’t the right way to go about it — what he needed first was the courage to face his dream with pure, genuine feelings that aren’t clouded with malicious thoughts.

Moratorium, written with the theme of “dream” in mind, perfectly captures Tomoe’s journey and relationship with his dream in Growing. And it isn’t just an objectively accurate depiction of Tomoe’s arc with a great storytelling to boot — the song also manages to be ripe with imageries in its lyrics, where every line in the song carries its own significance. Even compared to other TCS songs, Moratorium still feels particularly tightly written in which not even a single line is wasted or feels redundant. It’s why I think the song merits a deep analysis on its lyrics.

My main tool to do this analysis is semiotic analysis, wherein I break down the lyrics line-by-line to analyze its denotation (explicit meaning) versus connotation/myth (imagery), and how it intertextually connects with Tomoe’s arc in the actual audio drama. I’ll just provide a summarized interpretation in this post, but you can find the notes that I took in this accompanying sheet (it’s somewhat cluttered, though). For the lyrics translation, it was something I did myself, and you can find just the translation here. With that being said, let’s get straight into the analysis itself.

爽頼が僕の耳かすめたまっくら天井に描いた静寂の夢幽玄みたいなあのときの1秒今でも数えてみたくなるこんなモラトリアム逃げられやしないこのドアを開けて The sound of autumn breeze Brushed past my ear In the pitch-black ceiling, I drew A silent dream That one second, like a profound mystery I still want to count it even now Such a moratorium There’s no way for me to escape it Open this door

The song starts with a chorus, and it opens with an imagery involving autumn breeze. Autumn, as a season, has been commonly associated with change, transition, or impermanence. In Japan specifically, autumn often symbolizes a time of reset — a release of the old. This doesn’t necessarily mean the association with impermanence is rendered null in the context of the song, though. For starters, “breeze” has the connotation of being momentary, which could lend itself to the whole impermanence theme. Also, the word 爽頼 (sourai) in the first line means “the faint sound of autumn breeze”, which emphasizes the fleeting feeling of the word “breeze” itself even more. So, autumn breeze sort of evokes the idea of a transient moment of clarity about the change that’s about to come to Tomoe’s life. However, just as the breeze only “brushed past his ear” without lingering for too long, the thought of change only briefly occurred to Tomoe, perhaps because he was too pre-occupied with another thought that he could never escape the life he was leading at that time.

The setting then abruptly changes into a dimly lit room, with a “pitch-black ceiling” where Tomoe drew his “silent dream”. A ceiling might often be used to symbolize limits or oppression, especially when described as pitch-black, given how darkness can add to the oppressiveness of an already cramped space. However, I think in this context specifically, it can represent a moment of solemn solitude for Tomoe . Think of moments when you lock yourself in your own room to be alone just by yourself, lying on the bed and staring at the dark ceiling. While the darkness may feel isolating, it ironically provided a rare moment of privacy for Tomoe where he was finally alone without external voices (especially of his family) bothering him. Left alone with his thoughts, he could finally allow himself to introspectively reflect on his life, and what he actually wanted to do with his life. Now, we know from the audio drama that Tomoe probably first discovered his passion for singing when his dad — in a rare moment where he didn’t deride Tomoe — praised Tomoe’s singing. However, Tomoe might only have developed a concrete vision of it being something he wanted to seriously pursue later.

On the topic of the phrase “I drew”, “drawing” as a word itself is commonly used in Japanese in the context of “drawing a dream”, which means conjuring up a dream. However, I want to further emphasize how the use of “drawing” here implies an act of deliberate creation. Instead of just passively daydreaming, Tomoe is actively crafting his vision of his dream. On top of that, “drawing” also gives the dream a sense of vividness and tangibility, wherein it can be visualized and brought into reality, much like a literal drawing can be made visible on a canvas. “Drawing a dream” in the context of this song makes it feel like Tomoe was seriously manifesting his dream despite the obstacles that he was facing at that time.

Tomoe’s dream is characterized as being “silent” in this particular part of the song. Silence usually represents isolation, suppression, or resignation. It can also represent a secret. If we contextualize it within Tomoe’s story, a “silent dream” can represent a dream that Tomoe doesn’t tell anyone, likely out of his fear of facing disapproval. This dream being silent can also be a direct result of the pressure from his family, where their “loud” expectations drown out Tomoe’s dream to the point of it becoming very quiet.

The song describes the moment where Tomoe (presumably) first drew his dream as “that one second” that felt like a “profound mystery”. The Japanese word for this is 幽玄 (yuugen), which doesn’t have an all-encompassing translation in English, but is essentially a key concept in Japanese aesthetics that refers to the deep, often inexpressible beauty of things that are just out of reach of ordinary perception. Yuugen isn’t just mystery for the sake of being unclear, but it’s a sense of an incomprehensible depth that hints at more than what is immediately visible or understandable. Based on this knowledge, we know now that Tomoe considers “that one second” he recalls from the past to be profound, yet unreachable. It’s a pivotal moment where he felt a fleeting connection to something grand, but what’s left now for him to feel is the mystery of its loss.

In the next line, Tomoe expresses how he wants to experience the moment once again, by wording it as “still wanting to count it even now”. Interestingly, “recounting” in English describes the action of giving an account about an event or an experience. Even though this doesn’t apply to the original Japanese wording, you can say “recounting” a time in the past, it enables one to also “relive” the experience. Tomoe wants to “count that one second” again, so he essentially wants to experience the short moment where he first discovered his passion and felt the mysterious wonder of it (that probably has faded by now, which is why he feels a longing for it).

The lines “Such a moratorium / There’s no way for me to escape it” show how Tomoe feels cornered and helpless. This is where we first witness a direct reference to the song title, Moratorium. A “moratorium” itself means a period of suspended action or delay, and here it likely symbolizes the fear that freezes Tomoe for almost the entirety of his arc in Growing. His fear creates a liminal state where Tomoe is unable to move forward with his life or dreams, because — as Mirai puts it — Tomoe just can’t find it in himself to dare to dream. And Tomoe believes he’s forever trapped in it — which reflects how helpless he feels in his situation. He has no real options except to accept the reality presented to him.

However, the final of the chorus, “Open this door”, introduces a flicker of hope. Doors often symbolize an opportunity, a possible escape to freedom, or a decision. Whatever it is, it can lead to a passage to something new. Opening it might represent the desire to escape the moratorium — Tomoe’s fear — and embrace the singer’s own destiny, stepping into his true calling of music. With this door, Tomoe still has a way out — into a future where he might realize his dreams of music, even if that future feels uncertain.

ホンモノなんてどこにあんだろうなそんな綺麗事バカ見るだけかな支配する側される側の情緒のないルールがまた回ってく Where could the real thing Be found, I wonder? Such lip service — are you just making a fool out of me? The unfeeling rules of the rulers and the ruled Keep spinning around once again

This verse, delivered in rap, has a distinct shift in the overall tone. Moving from the somewhat ethereal imagery of the chorus where Tomoe focuses mostly on his desire and internal struggle, we get something that feels more grounded, raw, and critical of the world around him. He starts by questioning the authenticity of his life, wondering where he’s lost it in a vast world full of flattery (lip service) that feels hollow and false. The word ホンモノ (honmono), meaning “real thing”, is curiously written in katakana, when normally it’s written in kanji as 本物. The use of katakana here can add a sense of emotional detachment or alienation, which fits the overall message of this verse, as Tomoe can no longer recognize “the real thing” anymore.

Aside from that, the line “Such lip service — are you just making a fool out of me?” also aligns with how Tomoe views “being nice” (which he deems as “lip service”) in the story — instead of seeing it as a means of keeping peace and harmony (which is the way Mirai views it), Tomoe sees it as a way for someone to butter up to other people in order to survive a cruel society. It’s the reason why he despises false niceties, vehemently rejecting it throughout the story in favor of what he considers “raw truths”.

The next two lines, “The unfeeling rules of the rulers and the ruled / Keep spinning around once again”, give a peek into the general worldview that Tomoe holds. From the audio drama, we learn that Tomoe has adopted a somewhat fatalistic outlook on life, likely due to being born into a high-standing family in Japan where self-expression is rarely celebrated. Your life is predetermined the moment you were born, is what he believed. You’re also meant to follow rigid norms and impersonal expectations forced upon by society — which are devoid of empathy and are fully functional — for the rest of your life. He thinks there’s no way to change one’s own life, because the same cycle had been going on forever, unchanging. It’ll take a while until he learns that his belief isn’t entirely true, but essentially, this is Tomoe’s belief for the most part of his story in Growing.

本性さえそうどこかへ言葉なんてさぁ口から出ない消えて生まれ消えてそれが法則なんだ Even my true nature, yes — it disappears somewhere Words, you see — they don’t come out of my mouth They vanish, are born, and vanish again That’s just the way it goes

Still delivered in rap, the next verse goes deeper into Tomoe’s outlook on his life and also his feelings of loss and disconnection that were caused by it. The first line in this verse suggests how Tomoe has even lost touch with his authentic self due to the overwhelming expectations placed on him by his family and society at large. It reinforces the themes of feeling trapped or suppressed present in both the song and Tomoe’s arc, as his true nature is now absent from being constantly pushed away. Tomoe no longer knows who he really is, especially in the face of the pressures that prevent him from pursuing his dream to become a singer.

Tomoe’s inability to express himself (“Words, you see — they don’t come out of my mouth”) shows how stifled he feels under his family. He’s silenced, unable to articulate his true desires or emotions. Then, the constant push and pull, as seen in the next line (“They vanish, are born, and vanish again”), shows how his words — and by extension his feelings, desires, and even his identity — seem to constantly emerge and submerge again. As much as Tomoe doesn’t want to admit it, he does struggle with feelings of hesitation and self-doubt, which contribute even more to his fear of even just trying.

The concluding line of this rap verse (“That’s just the way it goes”) expresses a sign of resignation. The literal meaning for 法則 (housoku) is “the law (of nature)”, which gives a sense of inevitability and adds even more to Tomoe’s already fatalistic view of life. Tomoe believes it’s something beyond his control, so he can never change it. And he isn’t entirely wrong to think like that, at least initially — in the Japanese society, the concept of 本音 (honne) and 建前 (tatemae) plays a significant role in shaping how individuals navigate their personal desires and social expectations. Honne refers to a person’s true feelings, which are often kept hidden in favor of the often conflicting tatemae, the facade or public behavior that aligns more with social norms and expectations. In Tomoe’s case, he just feels he has no other choice but to accept his role and sacrifice his true desires.

はじまりからハンデの人生どうしてなんて届きやしないいち、にの、さんで? ああ飛べない From the beginning, it’s a life full of handicaps My “whys” will never reach anyone On the count of one, two, three? Oh I can’t fly

We’re now entering the first pre-chorus, which starts with a line that gives us an insight on how Tomoe sees his life as being full of “handicaps”. From an outsider’s perspective who doesn’t know him, it might be curious how Tomoe, being born into a prestigious family, could even view his life as disadvantageous. But Tomoe himself expresses this a lot in the audio drama — he feels like he’s always been placed under unfair expectations from the beginning, since he believes he doesn’t have what it takes to fulfill the expectations burdened on him. His belief is further confirmed by how his family (especially his father) treats him — his father isn’t above calling him a “defect” in the story, and he’s constantly compared to his older twin brother as well. I know we later learned that his father has his own reason for being harsh on him in a future drama CD, but that’s a different topic altogether, so I digress.

Tomoe then expresses how his questions or pleas for understanding are not heard by everyone around him. The “whys” likely refer to his frustrations about his life or the unfairness he perceives in his situation, which adds an element of loneliness and isolation to the song. It’s as if his deepest concerns are either ignored or dismissed, leaving him with the sense that they don’t matter to anyone. His questions, no matter how important to him, just seem to fall on deaf ears.

Despite everything, there are moments where Tomoe attempts to build up the courage or motivation to try following what his heart says — only to be met with the crushing reality that he’s still unable to do so. We see this play out in the last two lines of this pre-chorus — he begins counting to three, as if he’s gearing up for something bigger. Counting like this is often the precursor to action, and in this case it’s a signal for takeoff. But here, just as he reaches the end of the count, his doubts creep back in, so instead of launching, his fear and hesitation win out, leaving him stuck in place once again. The final line (“I can’t fly”) reinforces this even more — it hits hard as a metaphor for Tomoe’s struggle to break free and follow his dream. Flight, in most stories, symbolizes freedom, ambition, or success. By saying that he can’t fly, Tomoe is admitting that he’s stuck. He feels weighed down by the fear that holds him back, stemming from the heavy burden of family and society’s expectations. No matter how badly he wants to soar with his passion for music, he’s grounded, with no way to take off.

星彩が僕の目に映ったまっくら夜空に描くは願いの詩白昼みたいなあのときの1秒を今こそ求めてみたいからここはモラトリアム箱庭のなかこのドアは開くの? Asterism Reflected in my eyes In the pitch-black night sky, I draw A song of wishes That one second, like broad daylight I want to try seeking it now more than ever This place is a moratorium Inside a miniature garden Will this door open?

As the song moves back into the chorus, it shifts to a lighter tone again. This time, it starts with the image of an “asterism reflected in [Tomoe’s] eyes”. Stars are often seen as symbols of dreams or aspirations, and asterism in particular evokes the image of a map or guide. Across many cultures, stars also represent a sense of direction — something to follow, like a true calling.

For Tomoe, the stars finally becoming visible hints at him recognizing a distant goal or perhaps seeing his dreams clearly for the first time. The reflection in his eyes symbolizes a moment of realization about his path. However, this vision takes place against a backdrop of a pitch-black sky, which represents the uncertainty or hopelessness that surrounds him. Even in the darkness, the stars offer a glimmer of hope, guiding him toward a possible way forward. Connecting this back to the story, you can say that this is probably the moment where Tomoe first discovered about Tokyo Color Sonic, sparking the hope that maybe chasing his dream wasn’t as impossible as he once thought.

The “moratorium” is mentioned once again, and it still represents the same thing — Tomoe’s fear that keeps holding him back. And the same as before, Tomoe is currently still in a state of suspension, unsure when or how he’ll be able to move forward. This is stressed even more by the image of the “miniature garden”, which evokes a sense of confinement within an artificial, controlled environment, possibly reflecting the restrictions or the narrow life laid out for him by his family. And he’s still unable to break free from the artificial limitations imposed on him by his family or society.

In the same “pitch-black sky”, Tomoe draws his “song of wishes.” There’s a deeper layer to the word “song” here — it’s written as 詩, which can be read as shi or uta (when used as an alternative spelling for 歌). While the word technically means “poem”, the way it’s sung is homophonous with 歌 (uta), which means it can also be understood as “song”. This particular nuance shows how, deep down, Tomoe still treasures singing. For him, singing isn’t just about vocalizing a bunch of words that mean nothing — it’s an intimate, personal form of self-expression that carries the weight of all his wishes and desires. Much like wishing upon a star, singing for Tomoe is an expression of hope and longing in the midst of uncertainty. Also, the contrast between the “pitch-black night sky” and a memory as clear as “broad daylight” reflects his inner conflict — there was a time when everything seemed clear to him, but now he’s trapped in darkness (which can either symbolize his doubt or despair), he wants to seek for that clarity again, more than ever.

The final question, “Will this door open?”, pushes the tension to its peak. Like stated before, the door can symbolize a possible escape, but Tomoe is still uncertain whether it will open. It’s the struggle between breaking free from the confines of his current life to pursue his dream or staying trapped in this limbo, caught between what he wants and what’s holding him back.

タイセツなんてどこかに捨てた欲しいのは触れられるモンだけでこの世界なんてプラマイだろう足して引かれ引かれどうせ沈んでく I’ve thrown away “precious” somewhere All I want are things I can touch This world, after all, comprises of plus and minus Adding and subtracting, subtracting I’ll keep sinking either way

It’s another verse in rap, and now it opens with a declaration that Tomoe has discarded something “precious”. Similar to how “real thing” is stylized in katakana in the previous part, “precious” here is also written in katakana — taisetsu is usually written as 大切 instead of タイセツ. The nuance is of course the same as before — it adds a hint of detachment and irony to the word “precious”. By using katakana, the song signals that what was once precious to Tomoe (his dream) now no longer feels familiar, because he’s thrown it away long ago.

The line “All I want are things I can touch” takes on a somewhat resigned tone. Tomoe, having given up on his dream, may now be expressing a deep sense of defeat or disillusionment with the intangible (his lost passion, the abstract ideals he once held). Instead of chasing after the ideal, Tomoe is now only interested in things he can physically experience or control, because his dream (music) feels alien and unattainable. He might now be saying, “If I can’t have my dream (which now feels foreign to me), then I’ll settle for the things that are real and touchable.” It’s a compromise — an acceptance that intangible things like dreams or emotional fulfillment have slipped away from him, and all that’s left are physical experiences.

The reference to life being a series of plus and minus operations reflects a cold, mathematical view of existence that Tomoe has also adopted. Life is reduced to a series of transactions, with gains and losses being the only measures of value. This reductionist worldview aligns with Tomoe’s disillusionment with life’s complexity, and it’s even explicitly expressed in the story — at one point in the audio drama, he pragmatically points out how, at the end of the day, singing and making music are just another means to make money. Emotions and ideals no longer matter to Tomoe, and everything can be boiled down to profit and loss.

The repetitive phrase “adding and subtracting, subtracting” emphasizes that for Tomoe, life is constantly taking more than it gives. No matter how much he tries to gain (whether through emotional or material efforts), he is always losing more in return, which has rendered him feeling hopeless. And the final image of “sinking” cements this hopelessness even more — Tomoe already feels resigned to his fate. There is no sense of hope or rescue in this image — just an inevitable descent into despair, as if he can no longer fight against the weight of his circumstances.

同情すらないこの街胸の奥の灯り道標だったならばもうゴールはない? In this city, where there’s not even compassion If the light deep within my heart Was my only guide, then Is there no goal anymore?

This section, still mostly in rap, expresses how Tomoe feels isolated in a world that has become completely unsympathetic to his struggle. The city represents not just his physical surroundings, but also society at large — a place where there is no compassion, where Tomoe is left alone to fend for himself. The absence of sympathy in the city reflects the coldness of the world around him, a place that offers no emotional support or understanding of his plight.

The “light deep within [Tomoe’s] heart” refers to his inner drive, possibly his remaining hope or his passion for music. It’s been the thing pushing him forward, even with all the obstacles he’s faced. But now, Tomoe is starting to question if that light is enough. From the way it’s worded, the line suggests that what used to be his guiding force is no longer something he can fully trust — he’s unsure if it can take him anywhere anymore.

The question, “Is there no goal anymore?” reveals Tomoe’s deepening existential doubt. He’s beginning to question whether there’s any purpose left for him at all. If his dream — the light that once guided him — no longer feels valid or attainable, what’s the point of pushing forward? It hints at his emotional and existential crisis, in which everything he’s worked for suddenly seems pointless.

教えてくれなくていいよ世界の薄情さは全部わかってるけれど It’s alright, you don’t need to tell me The coldness of this world, I already understand all of it Even so —

The pre-chorus sets up the emotional context for Tomoe’s resignation to life. Here, he wearily expresses that he already understands the coldness of the world around him and doesn’t need anyone to tell him about it, hinting at a sort of emotional fatigue. However, the addition of the last line (“Even so — ”) introduces a contradiction or hesitation, implying that even though he knows the world is cruel, something inside him hasn’t completely given up — there’s still a lingering hope or regret, or perhaps even those two feelings at once.

帰りたい帰れない意気地なし何度たとえばたとえば口ずさんであの年あの日のあの時間戻りたい戻れない繰り返しずっと地べた這っている寄生虫のように住みついてほんとの僕心さえもいつか齧られて消えていく? I want to go back, but I can’t go back — such a coward No matter how many times I hum, “what if”, “what if” In that year, on that day, at that time I want to return, but I can’t return — over and over again Crawling on the ground forever Like a parasite, I settle in Even my true self — my heart Will it be gnawed away and disappear someday?

Before I talk about the lyrics themselves, I have to point out how brilliant it is that the bridge is delivered as a rap. This choice makes Tomoe sound like he’s frantically rushing through his thoughts, almost tripping over his words. The rapid, almost desperate delivery gives the impression that he’s struggling to process everything at once. It’s not just a stylistic choice — it amplifies the emotion behind every single word conveyed in this bridge, pulling you into his turmoil even deeper.

With that being said, the lyrics themselves dive even more into Tomoe’s internal conflict, with hints of self-loathing. The part where he’s torn whether to go back or not can be taken either literally or figuratively. As we know, in the story, Tomoe feels like he can’t physically bring himself to come back to his home in Kyoto due to the estranged relationship he has with his family. But, going back home physically, even in the story, can also figuratively represent Tomoe confronting his past. It’s where he spent his childhood, after all. The thing is, he isn’t ready to do so yet, which is why he blames himself for being a coward.

Tomoe continues to hum about the hypotheticals — showing how he’s still stuck regretting the past, but the only thing he can do is just contemplate about it. Here, Tomoe once again expresses the repeated desire to return, this time more explicitly referring to a time in a past — since he wants to fix and reclaim something from his past. But of course, no matter how many times he wishes to turn back time, he’s unable to do so — obviously because it’s also physically impossible, even more impossible than just going back to his home.

As the rap slows down a bit, Tomoe’s self-loathing takes center stage. He begins by describing himself as crawling on the ground, which paints a vivid picture of humiliation and degradation. Tomoe is utterly defeated — he has lost his dignity, his sense of purpose shattered. And it’s more than just physical — it’s emotional, too. “Crawling” suggests he’s been completely broken, drained of the strength to stand up and fight for what’s been taken from him. This part of the rap perhaps references the moment Tomoe refers to himself as being “empty”, a point where he feels hollow after discovering Suruga’s betrayal. He finally realizes that no one is truly on his side. It’s as though he’s hit rock bottom, and the slow pace of the rap emphasizes the weight of his despair, which drags him even deeper into his own sense of worthlessness.

The parasite metaphor digs even deeper into Tomoe’s self-loathing. He sees himself as someone who takes away from the world, or from others, without giving anything meaningful in return. He believes that he’s a burden, someone who drains the life around him. On the other hand, the image of parasites also gives an underlying sense of Tomoe feeling out of place. You see, parasites don’t belong where they settle — they invade, thrive in a space that isn’t theirs. In the same way, Tomoe feels like he he’s living in a world that he has no rightful place in — an outsider who’ll constantly be alone, alienated by everyone else.

The final line in the bridge reveals how Tomoe dreads that his true self — his heart — will finally fade away if he continues living like this. “Gnawing away” imagery portrays a slow, painful erosion of his true identity, as if the world is gradually destroying him. It captures his emotional decay — his true self, his dreams, and his sense of purpose are slowly being destroyed, leaving him hollow. And he wonders if this is truly his fate — to be reduced into a mere empty shell, with no hopes or desires of his own.

There’s also an interesting contrast in the imagery of “being gnawed away” against the singer likening himself to a parasite. Parasites typically feed off others — they aren’t the ones being consumed. This duality reveals how Tomoe views himself in two conflicting ways. On one hand, he feels like a burden, taking from the world without contributing. On the other, he senses that something larger — maybe societal expectations, his own shortcomings, or time itself — is slowly eating away at his true self, leaving him feeling hollow. It’s a clash between the external image of survival versus the internal sensation of decay.

はじまりからハンデの人生ならばいっそ賭けようか僕と世界の勝敗を From the beginning, it’s a life full of handicaps Then why not bet on it all? On the outcome of me against the world

Mirai, however, helps Tomoe realize that it isn’t over for him yet, though. He manages to convince Tomoe that, at the very least, Tomoe still has him by his side. And Mirai makes it clear that he’s ready to save Tomoe over and over again, even if it means they’ll face the world against them.

This is why Tomoe’s resolve to fight back is rekindled, and the lyrics in the final pre-chorus represents this. Tomoe, once again, acknowledges that he was born into a life full of handicaps. But instead of letting his life control him like before, he now chooses to take charge — even if it means risking everything. After all, Tomoe has nothing to lose, having already lost everything before.

Furthermore, Tomoe frames his struggle as a fight — a showdown between him and the world. Either he comes out on top, or the world does. Unlike before, he’s now ready to challenge the world. His decision to take control of his life, as seen in the previous lines, is fueled by this newfound defiance. He’s no longer afraid and is ready to face the world head-on.

遠く高く汽笛が鳴ったのさこのドア開けたら見えるは夢路の先想像超えた新しいレール今なら辿れる気がしてるこんなモラトリアム抜け出してこうかちっぽけな猶予を飛び越え In the high and far distance, a steam whistle sounded When I open this door What lies before my eyes is the path of dreams ahead A new rail track that surpasses imagination I feel like I can follow it now Such a moratorium Shall I break out of it? This tiny delay Leap over it

The final chorus reflects Tomoe’s long-awaited moment of liberation. After struggling with feelings of entrapment and self-doubt, he now hears the call to action — represented by the distant whistle. In stories, the sound of the steam whistle of a train is often symbolic of new beginnings, since it signals a departure from the past and an invitation to take a new journey. Tomoe, by Mirai, is “invited” to start his life anew and leave behind his old life.

The door, which is one of the recurring symbols in the song, appears again in the final chorus. In this particular instance, it turns out to be the threshold between Tomoe’s current stagnant state and a potential new future. This connects to an earlier reference where Tomoe questioned whether the door could open. Here, he’s finally making the choice himself by finally opening the door.

Behind the door, he finds a rail track that surpasses imagination — a path that carries unexpected possibilities that he has never thought of before. However, with his newfound confidence, he now feels capable of following this new, uncharted path toward his goals. It’s a stark contrast against Tomoe’s initial feelings of doubt and hopelessness, because now, he feels empowered to take the next step.

The moratorium, once again, represents his fear that has frozen him the entire time. The thing that has trapped him in a state of limbo. However, here, he’s ready to escape it — suggested by how he finally contemplates whether to finally break free from his stagnancy. The phrasing also reveals how he now has the agency to do so. Unlike before, where Tomoe questioned even his ability to escape, now he’s seriously considering it.

Tomoe then stops referring to it as a “moratorium” and calls it a “tiny delay”. This shift, although may seem irrelevant, actually reflects a new perspective for Tomoe: Initially, the “moratorium” felt like an insurmountable hurdle that Tomoe has no power to take on. However, as the song progresses, he begins to see that the obstacle of the “moratorium” — his fear — isn’t as daunting as he once believed, as it turns out to be something small. Now, without a single doubt, Tomoe has finally found the courage to leap over it — signifying a bold step into a new phase of life, leaving behind all his fear and doubts that used to hold him back.

#tokyo color sonic!!#miyazono tomoe

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sluttywonwoo · 3 years ago

Text

pretend || j.ww x reader

Summary: reading thirst tweets with your co-star/boyfriend’s best friend makes things a little tense

Warnings: swearing, smut mentions (18+)

Word Count: 1.8k

a/n: originally posted on my tom holland fic account ( @wazzupmrstark )

Masterlist

The sound of Mingyu cracking his knuckles next to you sent a shiver down your spine, making you cringe instinctively. You turned to glare at him and leaned away from the noise.

“I hate when you do that!” you groaned.

He smirked. “I know, that’s why I like doing it.”

You looked over at Wonwoo, who was sitting across the room with the crew, and pointed to Gyu.

“Can you tell your best friend to stop being annoying?”

“Can you tell your girlfriend to stop being dramatic?” Mingyu retaliated.

“I’m not picking sides!” Wonwoo shouted back and held up his hands in surrender.

You let your jaw drop. “I’ll remember that, Jeon.”

“Baby, I-” Wonwoo started to defend himself, but fell silent when the producer got up from her chair and approached you and Mingyu who were sitting behind the camera.

“Which one of you wants to take this?” she asked, holding up a large insulated jug full of paper strips.

“I’ll take it,” Mingyu offered and set the cup in his lap.

“What a gentleman,” you said, fighting the urge to roll your eyes.

“You’re lucky you’re pretty,” he muttered, “because you’re so fucking annoying.”

“Thank you.”

“It wasn’t a compliment.”

The producer gave you both a sideways look. “Are you guys alright? Should we take a minute before starting?”

“No, we’re fine,” you assured her.

“We don’t actually hate each other,” Mingyu added, “this is just how... we are.”

She didn’t look any less concerned, but nodded anyway. “Okay, well remember what your director said about playing up your chemistry to promote the show. And when we call action just give a quick slate and start reading the tweets.”

She walked back over to her spot next to the cameraman and took a seat before looking over a checklist that had been handed to her and writing some notes on it.

“Nervous?” Mingyu whispered to you as you both waited for your cue.

“A little,” you admitted. “You?”

“I’m a bit on edge,” he concurred. “Mostly because your boyfriend is about to watch me read filthy comments about you on-camera.”

You glanced over at Wonwoo who gave you an encouraging smile and a thumbs-up. “He’ll be fine. How bad can they be?”

From a distance, the producer you had just spoken to called for everyone to be quiet on set and signaled the cameras to start rolling. You perked up and straightened your dress, waiting for Mingyu to take the lead.

“Hi guys, I’m Kim Mingyu.”

“And I’m y/n y/l/n.”

“You might recognize us from our new Netflix series, Breaking Curfew, where we play opposite each other in what you might call a... complicated romantic relationship.”

“We’re enemies with benefits,” you summarized. “And today we’re here with Buzzfeed to read thirst tweets about each other.”

“Ladies first,” Mingyu said and held the cup out to you.

You closed your eyes and sifted through the strips of paper with one hand, selecting one at random.

“Okay, this one’s about you. ‘Kim Mingyu has the prettiest eyes’.” You grinned as you watched your co-star’s cheeks turn pink. “He’s totally blushing right now! We haven’t even gotten to the good stuff!”

“Thank you very much to whoever tweeted that,” Mingyu said and cleared his throat.

“I agree with this person,” you continued, “you do have really pretty eyes.”

“Aw, thank you, y/n.”

“You’re welcome.”

“My turn.” Mingyu closed his eyes and rummaged around the cup before picking one. “‘Someone tell y/n y/l/n that I’m single and I get a discount at Olive Garden if she ever wants to let me take her out on a date’.”

You chuckled. “I do like Olive Garden.”

“She’ll get back to you on that one, mate,” Mingyu said quickly and let the crumpled piece of paper fall to the floor.

You took that as a sign to move on so you reached into the jug and pulled out another tweet.

“Oh, this one’s about me again. ‘Y/n y/l/n scissor me challenge’.” You clapped a hand over your mouth in shock and thrust the slip of paper towards Mingyu.

“You know what, props for being so bold. What do you think, y/n? Are you going to take them up on the offer?”

“I’ll think about it,” you managed to choke out, sending Mingyu into a laughing fit. You fanned yourself with your hand as you tried to recover and motioned for your co-star to read another one. “Your turn.”

“‘Kim Mingyu and y/n y/l/n are my dream celebrity threesome,’” he read. “What a compliment, don’t you think?”

“Oh, for sure,” you agreed and winked as you held your hand to your ear in a call me motion.

“These are just getting more and more vulgar, aren’t they?” Mingyu asked.

“I don’t know that anything can beat the scissoring one,” you pointed out as you fished another tweet from the bucket. “Another one about Mingyu, okay. ‘I wanna suck Kim Mingyu’s soul through his dick then spit it back in his face’.” You blinked at the piece of paper in front of you in shock, scanning back over it to make sure you had read it right the first time. “Jesus... christ.”

Mingyu smirked and nudged your shoulder with his.

You ignored him and pointed a finger at the camera in disgust. “I cannot believe you made me read this with my own two eyes. I could have lived my entire life without seeing those words in a sentence together!”

“I think that’s the best compliment I’ve ever received,” Mingyu countered, running a thumb along his jawline cockily.

“No, I have beef with whoever tweeted that now.”

“You’re just jealous that I like this tweet better than the threesome one.”

You sighed. “This interview was a bad idea. Your head is already so god damn big.”

Mingyu opened his mouth to retaliate, but paused like he had thought better of it and took a deep breath to compose himself.

“Anyway, moving on.”

You watched as he sifted through the tweets and chose one from the bottom, reading it to himself and grinning slightly before reading it aloud.

“‘Petition for y/n y/l/n to start an OnlyFans because I just know her tits are incredible. I can feel it in my bones’.”

You brought your hands up to your boobs self-consciously and laughed. “I don’t know about that, but thank you.”

“I’ve seen them,” Mingyu added nonchalantly, “and I can confirm that twitter user ‘geminisuns’ is correct.”

“Mingyu!”

“What? Do you know how many sex scenes we had to shoot? We’ve seen each other naked plenty of times.”

You looked back over to the crew and made eye contact with the producer. “Do you see what I have to deal with?”

“Maybe we should take a quick break,” she suggested and motioned for the cameras to stop rolling. “Get a drink, freshen up and be back here in five.”

“Do you think they’re going to use that part?” Mingyu asked as he followed you over to the water cooler.

“I don’t know, dude,” you sighed in annoyance, “but great fucking job. The whole world already thinks we’re boning.”

“I don’t know about the whole world.” You glared at him. “Wonwoo knows we’re not.”

Wonwoo. You had nearly forgotten that your boyfriend was there on set with you. You looked around for him, and saw him still sitting in his designated guest chair looking at his phone. You could only imagine what he must be thinking of all of this. You should probably say something to him.

You told Mingyu that you’d be back and made your way across the room to Wonwoo. Even from a distance you could tell that he was upset.

His knuckles were pale and his jaw was tight. He didn’t look up at you when you approached him.

“Sorry this is taking longer than expected,” you said, brushing a stray curl out of his eyes.

“Don’t worry about it,” he murmured in response, still not looking at you.

You sighed and draped yourself across him, slinging your arms loosely across his shoulders as you leaned down to see what he was doing on his phone. He was scrolling aimlessly on Instagram, not even liking any of the posts.

“If you’re bored you can leave,” you said curtly and stood back up.

“I’m not bored.”

“You’re not even paying attention to the shoot.”

“Trust me, it’s impossible not to. I’ve been trying to tune it out for the past ten minutes with no luck.”

“Why would you not want to pay attention?” you demanded even though the answer was sitting right in front of you. “This is a big deal for me.”

Wonwoo swallowed and finally looked up at you. “I know, baby. It’s just- do you know how hard it is to listen to my best friend talk about doing all of these dirty things to you-”

“He’s my best friend too,” you pointed out in a quiet hiss. “The only reason we’re together is because of him.”

Sometimes you felt the need to remind Wonwoo that you had known Mingyu longer than you had known him. If Gyu hadn’t brought him to set all those times back when you were filming in the fall, you wouldn’t even know about each other’s existence.

“I know that.”

“You’ve done interviews like this before,” you argued.

“I know,” he repeated.

“Then why are you being like this?” He didn’t answer, so you kept going. “You know my bare ass has been on tv, right-”

“Don’t,” Wonwoo warned and grabbed your wrist.

You gasped and flexed your fingers gingerly in his grasp, challenging him. “Don’t what?”

“Y/n,”

“Don’t... act like I want to fuck your best friend?”

He narrowed his eyes at you. “You’re enjoying this.” It wasn’t a question.

“Don’t pretend like I’d rather fulfill those tweets with him instead of you? Give the people what they want?”

You had to bite your tongue before you went any further and said something you might regret. Your words had already had the desired effect. You didn’t even have to look at Wonwoo’s lap to know that he was struggling not to get hard.

You could see it in his eyes. The arousal that had turned the warm brown into black. The way he was looking at you told you everything you needed to know. You wondered if you would even make it back home before he’d break, if he would pull the car over on the side of the road and take you then and there.

Your knees were weak at the mere thought of what you were in for later that night. Making Wonwoo jealous was admittedly one of your favorite pastimes, purely for selfish reasons. Possessive sex was arguably the best sex. The teasing, the hair-pulling, the choking, the face-fucking, all hit different when Wonwoo was reminding you who you belonged to.

Wonwoo released your wrist from his grip and raised his eyebrows expectantly. “Are you finished?”

You shook your head and grinned. “Just getting started.��

lmk what you thought; i always appreciate feedback!!

wonwoo tags: @wonw00t

shoot me an ask to be added/removed from my taglist

#pretend #wonwoo x reader #jeon wonwoo x reader #wonwoo x you #wonwoo x y/n #wonwoo x female reader #wonwoo smut #wonu smut #wonwoo fic #wonwoo fanfic #seventeen x reader #svt x reader

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quaranmine · 3 years ago

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Martyn LLSMP Lore Explanation VOD Notes

Woke up seeing that @inthelittlewood had a request for any tumblr lists about what he’d committed to canon for his Last Life story. I didn’t have one posted, but I had a bunch of notes I took on his lore explaining vod a few months ago. In the interest of full disclosure, I made these notes for a fanfic, so I’ve done my best to edit out all of my additional notes of interpretation to just leave the canon things, lol. A lot of this is just summarized exactly how Martyn said it. Believe it or not, I actually edited this down by at least 600 words. Notes under the cut since it's long!

Martyn planned to sprinkle alliances throughout all the factions in last life, so that the shadow was throughout and he could have an elite group from all areas of the server. He only intended to ally with Ren and Lizzie (not Cleo and BigB) and would’ve eventually tried to get an in with Team BEST too. Voice carried over from S1-S2

The Watchers are the shadow, and associated with the moon. The Shadow Alliance were just tools for the shadows to use. Something about wanting to engulf the server in shadow and extinguish the light. They can only appear in the world as pumpkins.

The voice wanted Martyn to kill Grian as the Boogeyman and then he would be the last Southerner remaining on yellow. It was the only task the Watchers gave him, and he failed.

Getting Grian out of the Southlands wasn’t enough, the Shadow wanted him out of the series. There is a resentment for Grian from the Shadow, he is not in good standing with them.

Watchers are pissed off at Scott because he refuses to play ball and give in to the boogeyman curse. He’s the only one all series who refused to participate. Scott and Martyn running opposite narratives: Scott full light, Martyn going full dark.

Martyn wakes up after dying out of breath, lightheaded, and in total darkness. The Watchers are angry that he failed to kill Scott. And Scott won? Oooh, they’re mad. Martyn doesn’t recognize the voice at the end, since it manifests differently for everyone. It manifests to whatever that person finds most welcoming. So Martyn had been hearing it as a comforting voice? When they appeared to Martyn as pumpkins, he heard Jimmy and Mumbo’s voices because at that moment he wanted and needed them, but the Watchers were actually mocking him.

The Shadow is pissed that he didn’t succeed in either season. Calls him feeble. He failed the Shadow so they won’t accept him, so now he needs to make his way into the light.

They told him that his friends would survive the end. They said that Jimmy, Mumbo, him, and Impulse would survive to the end. Grian apparently not included.

Canonically something happened between episode one and two where Martyn had a conversation with the Shadow/was spoken to by them and was told that he and his allies would see the end, though we don’t see this.

From Martyn’s perspective, he assumed that they would join the Shadow, go to the end, and live eternally. He was told there would be a place for them. They reallyb meant the end of days. One last stand. Death game. Running out of food. His friends were never going to "see the end" in the way he'd assumed.

The whole thing is a torment on Martyn, and that is the moment that Martyn realizes he’s been toyed with and the Shadow was never on his side.

Initially the Shadows thought they wanted to consume the souls or energy of the players when they were in war torn times, but it wasn’t enough. They fed on the energy and souls of players as each one fell from their last life. The taste of betrayal is sweeter. That’s why they implemented the Boogeyman curse in Last Life, so that it would invoke sheer confusion and panic.

Scott’s will to live was too strong and his flame too bright. He was the only one to refuse the Boogeyman. Everyone felt like you had to comply with the Boogeyman curse, but you didn’t have too. Scott is a testament to it. Everyone could have lived harmoniously on red together if they let themselves lose their lives. They could have, but they felt they had to kill.

At the end of Evo, they went to fight the dragon. Martyn describes it as they were all teleported to different realities or instances to fight. Grian was taken, converted into a Watcher, and was gone. He said there was a tonal shift and they all learned the Watchers weren’t quite what they had thought they were. Then the Listeners came into play, who tried to get them away from the Watchers and start fresh. He says there was a bit of time travel, and that they went to new spawn in order to be free of the Watchers

When the Listeners ripped them from the Watchers’ hands, then some people were able to go on to their home realities and were safe and well, but some were caught in the watchers’ world still. They were pulled into a cycle and repeating pattern of the multiplayer world (more sinister). They were being experimented on and presented challenges to see what happened. It’s a cycle and the Watchers were feeding on their negative energy and souls from each time they perished.

So since Evo has happened, Grian is a Watcher. Grian doesn’t like this. The Watchers weren’t what they thought they were before. Grian decides he doesn’t want to be watching it unfold, because he would rather be playing the game. He’s not trying to break it from the inside, but Martyn suggests he was trying to free his allies one by one to end their misery quicker. He also said a more sadistic bit of Grian wanted to participate in the games they were running, but that a bit of him also wanted to free people and maybe free himself from being a Watcher/the cycle and go back to normal. The Watchers were annoyed with Grian. He wasn’t meant to be there, which is why they wanted him out of the Southlands.

The line about Martyn being “more of a Listener” is saying he’s one of the ones who chose to flee with the Listeners and he’s now being punished for it. **Martyn confirms on tumblr that neither him or any of the characters are meant to actually be Listeners, just associated with them.

They have some memories of what happened previously, but not the emotions behind it. They remember Third Life, but don’t have the emotions of it so they feel no resentment for it. Maybe the Watchers took away those negative emotions when they fed on their souls.

They’re caught in a loop infinitely. Is there a way to break out? Who knows. Martyn is still falling through the void in between each state of being. Last time he was unconscious and unknowing, but this time he had direct communication with the Watchers.

Martyn was only ever trying to ensure that his closest circle could see the end. He never intended to truly betray the Southlands. He was doing bad in the hope of doing good. The Watchers communed with him, manipulated him, mocked him, berated him, put on the voices of his dead friends, and promised him the world without actually giving him anything.

Things Martyn suggests but does not fully say whether they are/aren’t canon: Other SMPs (Hermitcraft, Empires) might be dreams the players are having between loops, and not actually canon. People who die may temporarily become a Watcher themselves to spectate the game. He does not clarify if Grian or anyone else manages to break the cycle. The moon may be the source of energy to commune with the Watchers, and it was a full moon in 3L session 8 and Last Life session 4.

The Watchers stand entirely in the dark and the Listeners stand entirely in the light. There is a lot of light/dark imagery between them, such as Watchers using a darker block palette in their builds.

The Shadow liked Ren because he was so willing. He would just go ahead, no questions asked. The Watchers also realized that trying to get Martyn to betray Ren in Third Life was the wrong call, and that they were stronger together than apart. Martyn retained his memories from last season, but not their emotional bonds. It’s like a vague memory.

Jimmy died first each time and worked for the Listeners. It’s kind of like the Watchers having their will.

Pearl, Mumbo, Lizzie--just got pulled into it. Did they do something in another reality, or space and time that upset the Watchers to get them pulled in? Did they even do anything wrong? Did the Watchers pluck them up and bring them in because of their association with the others, who had upset the Watchers?

Martyn kept going back to the Southlands because it was home, and because of guilt from what he was doing. Even though he was doing bad things, it was with the intention to save everyone. Even though it’s all broken and shattered, it’s all he’s ever known.

The Watchers are not omnipresent in all mc worlds. They can watch a concentrated area, but not everything everywhere. So they can watch every participant in Last Life at once, but not other servers at the same time. They aren’t that powerful, and Martyn wanted to leave it so that they could maybe be defeated at some point. They cannot server-hop.

and that's all I have!! this is just notes from the lore explaining vod/finale, though, and does not encompass anything specifically from Third Life or earlier episodes of Last Life other than what Martyn already spoke about in his VOD.

Also? I have a spreadsheet of Evo Lore by episode that notes each appearance of the Watchers, portals, Listeners, clues, etc. It currently contains all of Jimmy, Grian, Pearl, and Taurtis' series (i borrowed the timestamps of Grian, Pearl, and Taurtis from @/generalscreaming who is linked in the spreadhseet :D). If that is helpful, feel free to check it out.

#last life smp #llsmp #inthelittlewood #evo smp #traffic series

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mikotos-8daydreams · 3 years ago

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So about Yoshimoto’s route...

So, I'm doing things a bit different with this long review (Nvm this became a rant) and I'll write the short (summarized version later on.) Mild spoilers ahead.

Let me just start off this review/thoughts with my admission that I had a hard time gauging whether Yoshimoto’s route was good or not. I can say that they really refreshed the route given they can only repeat the same storyline of (we noticed Kichou was trying to get us to fight each other and we have to overcome our dislike to fight the common enemy) so much. There’s nothing quite like Yoshimoto’s route but it’s not necessarily a happy thing. There’s a more somber tone throughout the route and it’s even reflected with the way MC thinks of herself and her love of Yoshimoto. I feel that characterization wise, everything seemed to make sense and more importantly the story along with the characters flowed and had proper build on the events that were happening.

However my main qualm with his route comes down to not having enough romance. There is a distance between MC and Yoshimoto that gets close but never close enough due to (spoiler reasons). I feel like this is the first time where MC seemed to have an unrequited love for her love interest. Or I should say second time haha I forgot about Motonari. This is not to say that Yoshimoto is cold, I feel like the writers did a good job of not having a LI that is too distant and absent from his own route. They gave us just enough crumbs that Yoshimoto did like her back but since he constantly put up his walls around him and kept telling MC that she wasn’t allowed to love him, it just gave me an unsatisfying feeling of I know I love you but I’m not going to do anything (ala Skip Beat). I felt like he acted as the authentic sacrificial lamb given that he actually went as far as to (betray MC and his friends) and swore to end his whole ordeal with Yoshiaki by going down in flames.

As a side note, I feel that the love rival in his route (Ranmaru) is the strongest love rival in all the routes thus far due to the proximity that he had with MC throughout the whole thing. It was good that the writers balanced Yoshimoto's absences with MC constantly chasing after him because otherwise Ranmaru would of had more screen time than the main love interest. He really was supportive of MC throughout the whole ordeal despite knowing that MC was never going to look at him the same way she looked at Yoshimoto. Ranmaru just felt content being by MC's side and I felt that that's just what Yoshimoto needed in his character. The "want" or "need" to stay by MC's side despite the risks he was taking. In a way Mitsuhide already did his "sacrifical lamb" character but better; knowing they were going down as the villain for a better cause but still longing to be close to MC despite of it.

(Just to be clear, yes they did confess their feelings later on in the route but he kept being stubborn about going through his original plan anyway.)

In addition to this there were several details in the story that just seemed odd or annoyingly repetitive. The whole route seemed to focus on what is Yoshimoto thinking? Like no one could figure this out not even our genius foxy Mitsuhide and it was pretty annoying as a reader cause I could tell from the onset what sort of plan he was going for. Even more frustrating was MC’s resolution to support the decision Yoshimoto was making because that is the only way she felt she could support him. I felt that in a way that Yoshimoto’s MC was pretty meek and powerless because she could not make him realize he was doing wrong in the way he chose to “protect” what he cares for the most. It was only towards the end when things did not go as planned, that he took risks and finally broke through his “cage.” (Which just goes to show that his original plan was never going to work anyway.)

I think this is actually the second route (after Motonari) that I don't like in the Ikemen Sengoku series. Yoshimoto wasn't thrash like Motonari, but he just lacked in the romance department. I wished they would of played more with his seductive persona like in his sub stories so I could really justify MC's adorations. It really is a disappointment given that they really seemed like soulmates with their love of art/ dislike of violence/ loss of a home in common. Overall, his route is a nope from me.

#ikemen sengoku #ikesen yoshimoto #yoshimoto imagawa #ikesen mitsuhide #ikesen ranmaru #ikesen motonari

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vad-hander · 3 years ago

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JAEBEOM, THE GUY FROM THE BAR

Pairing: Jaebeom x reader

Genre: Series | Eventual Smut | Angst | Fluff

Warnings: break up, cheating, strangers to lovers, mentions of drinking

Words: 2.3k

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

You were sitting at the bar playing with the glass in your hands. The cocktail you were consuming for the past 15 minutes was almost gone and you were considering what should be your next order in your head. Your eyes ran after the bartender, watching him shuffle the bottle, finally pouring liquid into the glass of a blonde girl that was hungrily watching it fill up.

You lifted your arm, letting the guy behind the bar know you needed a refill, one more. You already lost count to the number of drinks you had in the last hour, trying to make your brain ignore the void inside of your chest. Your vision was getting blurry and it’s exactly what you were trying to do. You were trying to lose your sences with alcohol to not see what was happening to your left. The more drinks you downed, the less you saw with your peripheral vision. Everything went as planned, and you put all of your energy to erase the memory of this not being your initial plan when you left your place a couple of hours ago. You watched bartender finally move in your direction, sighing in relief. You were beginning to think he ignored you on purpose and were considering the option of becoming the annoying drunk customer that would make a scene for not getting their drink for too long.

“Let this one be on me.” you heard a voice behind you, not paying too much attention to it. Another guy was trying to be smooth with a wasted pretty girl at the bar, nothing new, you were just glad they weren’t bothering you.

Bartender turned his head towards you, finally stopping in front of your stool. You were about to open your mouth to order, having a slight smile on your lips, when your eyes finally focused on his face and you saw he wasn’t looking at you, his eyes were pierced to someone behind you. You felt anger blow up your body in a second, making your face red. You felt like you could punch the person who just got in front of you, right when you were about to order. Sudden anger made you want to turn around and fight with that person, until you realised bartender was looking back at you. He clearly was asking for your permission with his eyes and the sudden thought of you being the wasted pretty girl that someone was trying to hit on crossed your mind. You turned around immediately, feeling your face get even redder now due to the guys’ behind you intense staring. You felt puzzled, shy and confused all at the same time. You were pretty sure you swallowed your tongue in shock when your eyes ran over the stranger’s face and you had to lick your lips to make sure you didn’t. His handsome features made you scared and more than thinking what even made him talk to you, you were scared the drink he’d get for you could be poisoned. You stuttered trying to get a reply from your throat and he chuckled lightly at you. You noticed how his eyes turned into crescent moons when he did so and something inside of you switched.

“I swear, I’m not a creep.” he smiled kindly. “If you’re okay with me sitting here, I’ll explain.” you noticed how the seat next to you was empty and you wondered if he made someone leave while you were absorbed into watching the bartender.

“Okay…” you finally found it in you to speak. “You can sit, but not the drink. I’m able to pay for myself.”

“Deal.” he sat down and ordered a whiskey. Bartender nodded and turned to you, probably seeing how angered you were before and willing to take your order first. You asked for another rum with coke, turning your attention to the guy that seated himself next to you. Your eyes ran over the silhouette of his long nose with a sharp tip, plump upper lip that reminded you the shape of a heart, quickly running over his round but sharp cheeks. You noticed how he had his ears pierced and when you lowered your eyes to his hands that were laying at the bar you noticed silver rings on a couple of his fingers. You lifted your eyes back up meeting with his piercing gaze once again. You felt a flash of embarrassment and wondered if he noticed you checking him out.

He was handsome, but you weren’t interested. You repeated this before tasting your new drink on your tongue and licking your lips again.

“So…?” you asked when he kept staring and sipping on his whiskey quietly. You were beginning to feel awkward under his gaze. “I’m wondering what made you think I’m in need of a company?” you allowed the glass to meet the stone of the table, running your fingers through your hair to push them back. He did the same and you suddenly found it hard to breathe. You thought maybe, you hit your limit with the drinks tonight, deciding to not finish this glass.

“I watched you for a while and lost count of the drinks you had in just this hour. You don’t look like a party monster.” You made an offended face and a smile lit up his face again. “I’m sorry, but it’s true. Plus, I don’t think I ever saw you here before, and I’m a regular here. You don’t seem to be trying to seduce anyone so I guessed something happened to you and you might need someone to help you get home.” you were surprised with his precise observations to the extent of forgetting to not show it all on your face.

“So, you’re saying you’re not a creep and then you say you want to walk me home.” you made a suspicious face expression and he chuckled making a loud enough noise for you to hear it.

“And if it bothered you to show me where you live I would’ve taken you to my place.” he pointed biting his lower lip.

“Oh, that is definitely calming, totally a better option.” you nodded and the both of you laughed.

“You’re pretty when you smile.” he suddenly said with a serious face expression. You stopped laughing too and felt redness crawl over your face. The light atmosphere you felt come with laughter left you exactly same second the words left his mouth. Your eyes ran over the club and you didn’t find anything better than grabbing the glass and taking a sip of the drink you decided a second ago to not drink anymore. You felt soberer than before and the liquid even gave your throat a burn as if it was your first sip.

You weren’t used to being hit on by handsome guys at clubs due to two reasons: 1 - you weren’t going out much and 2 – well, actually, it was the first time you were all by yourself drowning yourself in drinks. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t not say it when I saw your face light up, you were too serious this whole time.”

“Thanks…” you coughed feeling the conversation die in awkwardness.

“So, are you okay? Something happened? You can tell me, I’m a complete stranger, nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I’m…fine.” you chewed on your lip wondering if it’s a good idea to share your life at the club when your practically wasted.

“Is it because of the guy over there?” his finger pointed behind you and you turned around with the speed of a turtle to see where he was pointing.

“What made you think so?” you quickly turned back, genuinely wondering.

“You keep on glancing back there, and every time you do you down your drink. For the past hour people switched around but your eyes kept glued to the only person that’s not moving over there.” He summarized.

“And you’re a regular here because you come to watch lonely girls get drunk and then offer to take them home? Whether their or yours?” you tried to change the topic, expanding your hand to the drink but changing your decision immediately.

“No, I’m a regular here because I live two blocks down the road. I was here with a friend, but he had to leave early because his girlfriend called him. I noticed you when I got here because you’re not the usual type to hang out here and it caught my eye. You caught my eye so I watched if you were with someone, but then I noticed you drinking non-stop and noticed you stare there. I came because I only wanted to make sure you’re fine and safe, and I still want to know that.” The tone that he spoke with made you believe him and you felt a tiny bit more relaxed than before. Maybe it was naïve to believe the first stranger you met but the alcohol in your system told you it’s not a big deal. You didn’t live in this area, you never came here before, talking to him won’t actually change much in your life because you wouldn’t remember anything by tomorrow, keeping in mind the amount of drinks you just had.

“That’s my boyfriend.” you simply stated.

“Who?” he asked confused and looked behind you.

“The guy that don’t move around, he’s who I came with. We’re dating.”

“With him?” he asked in disbelief, forcing for you to look there once again, to watch your boyfriend in action.

Your eyes immediately found a tall guy in the crowd. Currently he was dry humping a girl in the corner. He looked even more wasted now than twenty minutes ago when you looked at him last.

“Why is he with someone else there and you’re here. Are you two in that type of relationship?”

“That’s his best friend’s sister, they’re just having fun, don’t imagine things that aren’t there.” You defended, feeling yourself dumber with every word that left your mouth.

“You’re the one that’s trying to drink away the pain, I guess it’s you who should stop imagining.”

“It’s not that.” You said seriously, turning back to face the guy, not being able to look there for any longer.

“Why are you not with them having fun?”

“I don’t like to dance if it’s not just me and him.”

“He just left you here alone? For the whole evening? Not even checking on you once?” you looked the guy in the eyes knowing for a fact he’s right, but you told yourself he wasn’t. He doesn’t know everything. He doesn’t know you or your boyfriend. He doesn’t know he actually loves you. “He doesn’t love you.” he added a silent moment after.

“You crossed the line.” You tried to tell him to apologize calmly but he definitely didn’t catch it.

“If I was your boyfriend I wouldn’t leave you for a minute for some cheap-ass girl from a cheap diner around the corner. I’m sure I saw her there during day time.”

“What’s the exact reason for your lecture?” you were getting worked up. Who is he to tell you shit about your boyfriend? Who is he to play with your emotions like that?

Your boyfriend always told you you were a little bit sensitive, you were jealous under circumstances you shouldn’t have and he was sweet and caring enough to reassure you. You knew this was just one of those occasions and it was your own decision to stay at the bar when she suggested to dance, you were the one who made yourself go crazy in jealousy.

“No reason, I just noticed something, thought I’ll say it as well, since we’re talking anyway.” You ran your eyes once again to the corner where your boyfriend was, before focusing on your glass. The conversation died and you thought maybe he’ll leave since now he knows you won’t fall for whatever he had in store. “How long have you two been together?”

“8 months.”

“Dump him.” He said freely and your eyes shot up to the guy on your right side. Did he lose his mind?

“What?”

“Dump the guy if 8 months into a relationship he finds it normal to leave you at the bar to drown in drinks to make out in front of your face with someone else. That’s fucked.”

“He’s drunk, that’s his friends’ sister and I’m drunk and sensitive. You can chill out, Sherlock Holmes, you won’t find anything interesting here.” You made an excusing face sitting straight to stare into your phone. The guy went quiet and you let him be, killing the time.

“Baby, I’m sorry I took too long.” you felt your boyfriend’s hands over your waist. His cheek landed on your shoulder blade and he sighed letting you smell all the drinks he had. His body weight almost made you fall off the stool and the guy you talked to before prevented you from falling by your knee. You tried to ignore him and turned your face to see your boyfriend.

“Let’s go to yours?” you asked in hope.

“Yeah. Can Jack’s sister come with us? She can’t go back home, she said she’s fine with the couch.”

“It’s your place.” you nodded.

“You’re the best.” He kissed your cheek leaving a wet mark there. “By the way, I missed you so much, I wish you went dancing with us, they played your favorite song, did you hear it?” your boyfriends words made what the stranger guy said die in your head immediately.

“Yeah, me too. Let’s go?” you asked trying to stand up under his weight and he found balance allowing for you to do so. “See? You’re wrong, bye, good luck.” you said to the handsome guy, taking your boyfriends expanded hand and leaving the club with him. And his best friend’s sister too, of course.

more people voted for Jaebeom fic, so here's pt.1

I hope you enjoyed it, please let me know what you think! <3

#jaebeom #jaebeom smut #jay b #jaebeom fluff #jaebeom fanfiction #jaebum #im jaeboem #jaebom #got7 jb #jb fic #jb smut #jaebum smut #jaebum imagines #jaebum fluff #got7 #got7 jaebeom #got7 smut #got7 fluff

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totallovestrucksimp · 3 years ago

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19 series. 1 day left. Welcome to THE GRAND FINALE OF THE TOTALLOVESTRUCKSIMP RANKING OF LOVESTRUCK!!!

Each day I ranked my Least favorite series & MC to my most favorite series and top MC (Today’s will shock you.)

(if you argue that there are 20 series, I’m combining AFK and ALK together.)

Without further Ado, the GREATEST LS series of ALL TIME is…

GANGSTERS IN LOVE!

Shocking, right? But there’s a good reason to why I pretty much dedicated an entire tumblr page to it. Gangsters in Love is what brought me to the app. I kept getting ads for it on YouTube, but. Always dismissed them. Eventually it got to the point where I was like “fiNE ILL DOWNLOAD IT JUST SHUP UP” but I never thought I’d be obsessed with it like I would be today. The characters just feel so close to each other, and everyone’s dynamic with each other feels so genuine and has so much chemistry. It’s the perfect mix of action, romance, character, and plot. There’s a million things I could say about each character, but to summarize it to a point: amazing. Just absolutely amazing. 1000 out of 10.

And the the 1# GREATEST MC is…

GANGSTERS IN LOVE SWEETHEART MC A.K.A Rose Greene! She actually went through a lot of name changes- She first started off as “Ericka” for about nine episodes when I decided that it would be funny to call her “My Slut” it was pretty funny, and that was her name for a large majority of my time playing. I was GONNA change it, but every time I tried it just felt wrong. It wasn’t until I started archiving that I officially changed her name to “Rose”

There’s mixed feeling on this MC, but I absolutely love her with all my heart, and not just because she’s from my favorite series, but for her whole aesthetic. There’s so many stories and films where the “Pink feminine girly girl is weak then changes to a black suit bad bitch that shaved her head and can kill a man” but in this case, she keeps her cutesy way, and it never makes her less badass. She’s such an unapologetic High Fey badass that I can’t help but love her. She’s like a pink diamond-studded Sniper rifle. I also love that she gains whatever skills her LI has, and really proves herself in the gang. I adore this MC to bits.

Thank you everyone for joining me on this journey, and I hope everyone enjoyed this amazing app just as much as I did.

#lovestruck voltage #lovestruck #gangsters in love #gil #ash winters #chance valentine #irving monroe #yoshimitsu valentine #aurora james #mateo estrada #sweetheart mc #gangsters in love mc

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miraculouscontent · 4 years ago

Photo

*rubs hands together*

The first thing to talk about with this episode is the pacing, and I think this might contribute to why people think it’s the best/least bad of Season 4 (personally, I’d rather watch “Furious Fu” but that’s just me; also, this isn’t the only contributing factor as to why I think people might feel this way, but I’ll get there later).

The episode has a very serious pacing issue, particularly with its more intense scenes. There’s only one minute of time dedicated to Ladybug landing on her bed, de-transforming, and her snapping at her friends plus them leaving. More time was spent on Chat Noir and Ladybug in the movie theater and Ladybug storming out.

I particularly remember watching the episode and getting eighteen minutes in, at which point I had the realization of, “It feels like nothing’s happened?”

This episode is supposed to be a big gut punch, but the season has been going by at the speed of sound, like they’re trying desperately to play all their cards at once (Lukanette break-up, Adrimi break-up, then Alya is told Marinette’s secret identity). Instead of letting things build and play out for a while in the interest of suspense, the show just throws whatever will get a big reaction out of the fandom (whether positive or negative) and it doesn’t care how shoddily put together everything is. The first two episodes feel like hastily put together drafts, and while this one is technically more put together, it still feels like a draft.

Let’s just start with Chat Noir, who feels completely out of place in the episode. Not only does he imply that he intentionally calls Ladybug “Bugaboo” (which she has told him to stop doing) in order to get a reaction out of her, but when Ladybug insists that she doesn’t want to talk, he tricks her into thinking that he has a good location to do so (and my heart breaks a little at how readily she trusts him) only to then take her to a romantic movie, then shush her when she calls him out for it because she “said she didn’t want to talk.”

Gee, and people wonder why she didn’t tell him her secret (even outside of “Chat Blanc” existing)?

And... look, I know it’s a joke, but I do not find it funny. The “joke” is basically that Chat Noir is taking advantage of the situation to flirt with Ladybug, and though I find it at least mildly cathartic that Ladybug is unaffected by all the people staring at them while Chat Noir is embarrassed, this episode is coming right after the one where Kagami broke up with Adrien, and here Chat Noir is getting his flirt game on. I already talked about all my problems with “Lies” so I won’t do it again, but I’ll just say that it’s not a mystery why Ladybug doesn’t want to talk to him and would rather avoid her problems.

(Not to mention that Ladybug knows that Chat Noir likes her, so talking about her romantic problems with him is awkward to say the least and would come off as insensitive.)

Honestly, at this point I feel like they must be building to something with Chat, like Ladybug finally going off of him with no mercy and that forces him to give up/fall out of love for her because reverse love square, but if that’s what they intend to go for, then that means Marinette is going to fall for this guy who’s repeatedly disrespected her feelings for multiple seasons, almost abandoned her and let Paris drown because she wouldn’t tell him a secret that wasn’t hers to tell, and just generally all the other things he did????

Ugh, I don’t wanna think about it. Let’s just move on.

Talking about Ladybug and her rant next, it basically summarizes the whole show in a nutshell, but simultaneously casts a shadow of sorts over “Truth” for people who maybe missed the episode entirely (which is also sort of the show in a nutshell). I mean, Ladybug confirming to the audience that she was genuinely in love and happy with Luka (you can’t watch how depressed she was over the break-up and not think that) was great, but Ladybug’s dialog implies that Luka “hated secrets” and that’s why they broke up, when Luka was more just... hurt that she couldn’t be honest with him, and he didn’t actively hate secrets. Marinette broke up with him because she felt like she had to; because she had to keep ditching and lie to him.

In addition, what she says also hints to the audience that they’ve both held and kissed each other, which not only indicates cowardice on the part of the staff (”yeah this happened but--um--off-screen; we’d still like credit tho plz”), but may perhaps go back to the theory I had about how Adrimi and Lukanette were supposed to last longer in Season 4 but their arcs got cut (based on the Adrimi kiss having supposed to have gone off). This could mean that Ladybug’s statement was originally accurate to canon but the scenes got cut and the scriptwriters just awkwardly left it in, which is made more awkward by the cinema scene in “Truth” that felt like Luka and Marinette were kissing for the first time (again, alluding to the whole, “this entire season has been a draft” thing).

Also, if you think about what that actually means - that Luka and Marinette did have successful dates and kisses but they were off-screen - then all it adds up to is that showing Marinette happy and comfortable was something that the series didn’t deem as “interesting/fun enough” to show, because Marinette being happy isn’t something they want to see; only watching her be miserable, which is exactly what Ladybug says, along with how everything was “almost too simple, too easy,” because Marinette isn’t allowed to have nice things without being jammed through the wringer first.

And... sure, let’s say that Chat Noir thought the movie was genuinely a good idea; let’s assume that it could be a joke, him wanting to flirt, and him believing that it’d make her feel better somehow.

If that’s the case, then where’s the apology when it fails miserably? Ladybug goes from her semi-anxious state at the start of the episode (a little scatterbrained but ultimately just looking for a distraction), to outright enraged by the movie, and then to this upon leaving the cinema.

She just got her heart broken from being forced to break up with a boy she genuinely wanted to be with and there’s not a single, “Okay, maybe coming here was a bad idea, I’m sorry,” (which could’ve been seen as another joke with the audience like “lol no duh Chat Noir” so there’s no excuse not to have it) or, “My bad, that was insensitive of me. I really thought this would’ve helped but I wasn’t thinking about what you would’ve wanted.”

No. The only people Chat apologizes to are the other people at the theater because he’s embarrassed by Ladybug’s reactions, yet he himself feels no remorse for taking her there and has the gall to go on now about how he’s ��there for her if she wants to talk.”

Again, it’s no wonder Ladybug doesn’t want to open up to him.

And I’m sorry, I just don’t buy that Marinette suddenly has all this free time. It’s one thing for her to have a little more time now that she’s broken up with her boyfriend (likely avoiding spending time with him altogether now), but “Truth” went out of its way to talk about all of the emergencies she had to deal with and how she doesn’t have any spare time. which is causing her to become forgetful and lose track of certain events (patrols with Chat, dates with Luka, etcetera), yet Marinette spends most of “Gang of Secrets” simply sulking on her bed. It’s so jarring to go from “Truth” where she was doing “too much” (which I called them out on for not describing what the “too much” she was doing was) and now “Gang of Secrets” where she’s not doing anything.

It’s almost like they invented that plot point to break Lukanette up and it served no purpose outside of it.

Furthermore, the scenes of her finally talking to Tikki and then deciding to live as Ladybug does nothing outside of making the plot more predictable, the latter because of the “Alya almost sees Ladybug” moment (an obvious indicator that Marinette is losing control and is struggling to maintain her secret identity due to her emotionally breaking down) and the former because of Tikki herself and what she doesn’t say.

Because, really, think about what actually goes on in the scene. Marinette (eyes rimmed red and filled with unshed tears, as she is for a good chunk of the episode) is venting to Tikki about - yes - her love life, but also that she has to lie to everyone in order to keep her identity a secret. The fact that Tikki focuses solely on the note of Marinette’s love life and not say a word about the identity/lying issue or even consider telling Marinette, “hey, this is clearly too much for you, you should tell someone, I think the benefits outweigh the risks right now,” really proves that the episode tried to avoid the topic altogether to try and make the ending more shocking (which ironically made it more predictable).

So yeah, not only does Tikki’s dialog with Marinette provide nothing except for a line about how she can’t help Marinette with love issues due to kwami not falling in love (alright, I guess aros can’t give good love advice then or have any input whatsoever), but Marinette’s line about lying to everyone being why she can’t pursue Adrien nor Luka is repeated in the very last scene of the episode. The only reason that scene and the scene after exist is because the writers needed Marinette to be emotionally devastated enough to leave for her balcony as Ladybug for the almost-reveal to Alya and so Rose would get close enough to the dollhouse to have an almost-reveal with the Miracle Box, making the scene feel further contrived because the emotional punch of Marinette wanting to live as Ladybug lasts for barely any time at all.

And it could’ve served a purpose, like if Ladybug had genuinely left and Alya finds her goggles and towel, recognizing them from a news story about how Ladybug had gone to the swimming pool after losing her temper at the cinema, which could’ve led to Shadow Moth making the girls believe that Ladybug was no longer heroic and had kidnapped Marinette, or... heck, Ladybug coming back inside would’ve been so much less jarring if she came back because she heard the girls’ voices talking about the dollhouse and had to hurry (but of course, then they’d have to point out the ridiculousness of Ladybug not hearing Alya calling her and the girls not hearing Ladybug literally shouting for Shadow Moth to come fight her, even though the kwami heard the girls calling for Marinette from the balcony).

But instead, the entire scene feels off and unnatural, forcing every part of it in order to get to where Marinette has to snap at the girls to make them leave.

(Oh, by the way, just a little detail to add to the annoyance: they bothered putting Tom and Sabine in the episode when the girls are leaving, clearly saddened by something that happened, and neither parent even bothers to go and check on Marinette to see if she’s upset or just to see what might’ve happened. They’re such a “blink-and-you’ll-miss it” moment in the episode and it’s not like I’m surprised because they’ve done this multiple times by now but really?)

As for the girls themselves... oof, where do I even begin?

Alright, first off is the annoyance that they assume Marinette’s problems relate only to lovesickness. Marinette has been an anxiety-prone mess throughout the entire series, and suddenly now the girls care about Marinette’s love problems on an emotional level rather than “we’ll meddle sometimes unless we don’t feel like it and be wholly inconsistent on how much we push for it.”? It’s not that I don’t see how they came to the conclusion (hearing that Luka and Marinette broke up and now seeing Marinette is depressed, it checks out), but considering they bothered noting that Marinette hadn’t told them anything, one would think they’d come to the conclusion of, “okay, we haven’t talked to her, we have no idea of what’s going on, maybe we don’t know her as well as we thought then and shouldn’t make guesses.”

Secondly is the “eternal friendship bracelet,” which comes off as a copy of the “Secrets” game from “Syren” extremely manipulative. Mylene goes on to explain that one is supposed to give a secret to the pearl “mentally,” yet when the girls actually show up to see Marinette, they expect to be told the secret directly. I’ve already talked at length about peer pressure and the mental stress Marinette goes through when they mock her and/or meddle for her, but this idea of, “well we all used this friendship bracelet after we mutually agreed to it so now it’s your turn because we said so!” just comes off really bad. I know the episode is going for this idea that their hearts are in the right place, but they’re really not. It feels like they’re the ones in denial and are trying to compensate by forcing Marinette to prove that they’re friends, unable to handle the idea that they might not be as close to her as they thought.

Thirdly, the show acts as if the girl squad are her only friends when we know that’s not true because we’ve seen episodes like “Befana” (the guys in the class), “Reverser” (Marc), “Ikari Gozen” (Kagami), and “Silencer” (Ivan) that all established Marinette having more friends than just them, but for the sake of “drama” and the depressing line of, “at least I don’t have any more friends to lie to,” the episode just pretends like Marinette’s friends are limited to Luka (who she had to break up with) and the girl squad (who she forced to leave and refuse the friendship of).

Fourthly is the actual set-up and the sheer grossness of it all. The girls call Marinette and leave a message about how they much they love her and how she can talk to them “where and when” she wants, and then - immediately afterwards - decide that they’re going to go straight to Marinette’s house completely unannounced, go into her room completely unannounced (not even knocking, by the way), and when Marinette begs them to leave, Alya basically tells her that she’s overreacting. When Marinette demands that they leave, Alya refuses and makes demands right back that they won’t leave until she tells them what’s wrong.

So much for “where and when” she wanted, right? It’s already one thing for the girls to invade Marinette’s privacy and demand/guilt-trip answers out of her, but it’s another thing to give the illusion of respecting her feelings and personal space only to actively plan to go back on it. I can’t tell if it’s a bad draft that they didn’t catch in quality check (you know, the quality check that they definitely don’t have) or just an intentional way to make them seem more sympathetic so Marinette looks worse for driving them out, but either way, it’s awful and I hate it. I would’ve rather had them be all in on invading Marinette’s privacy and learn a lesson in the end than outright contradict themselves.

There are also little nitpicks I could make (like Juleka’s constant mumbling despite Luka’s crush on Marinette playing a role in the episode, Horrificator getting sidelined due to being mute, and the girls’ akumatization ultimately being for spectacle and nothing else, serving no purpose to the plot and being furthered by the fact that Timebreaker goes after Marinette despite it being a bad idea and Reflekta’s power clearly not lining up with any sort of plan), but the real issue issue here comes down to the fact that these are Marinette’s so-called “friends” and the episode refuses to address their actual issues.

Alix, who is known for making rude comments at Marinette (”Gigantitan,” “Chat Blanc,” “Miraculous New York”) and then gives mixed messages by going along with meddling anyway.

Mylene, who is the closest thing to a background character in the girl squad but nevertheless finds her way into being definite voice against Marinette in “Chameleon.”

Juleka, who blamed Marinette for things she didn’t do in “Reflekdoll” and got huffy with her until Marinette apologized for said things.

Rose, who outright screamed at Marinette in “Chat Blanc” over a freaking stuffed animal, which pressured Marinette enough that she snuck into Adrien’s room to deliver her gift which nearly led to the end of the world.

And, of course, Alya; freaking Alya. I don’t even have to go into every single thing she’s ever done because I have a history of giving her absolutely no mercy.

...But let’s go through some anyway because I want to.

“Copycat” - Alya gives Marinette a script and tells her to memorize it, then immediately pushes the “call” button when Marinette hesitates after Marinette had just told Alya that she’s awful at improv.

“Darkblade” - Alya takes a jab at Marinette when Marinette says that she’s too busy to be class representative, implying that Alya thinks that Marinette does absolutely nothing with her time.

“Gamer” - Alya is busy recording the gaming competition when she and Marinette were supposed to be researching for a term paper. Alya then scolds Marinette for wanting to use the competition to get close to Adrien only to do a 180 and put up a fight about it when Marinette decides to quit.

“Animan” and how “The Puppeteer 2″ follows up on it - oh, I’m not going to touch that particular point right now, but keep those in the back of your mind, because I am going to absolutely go off later

“Simon Says” - Similarly to Marinette’s parents, Alya gives zero damns about whatever might be going on in Marinette’s life that's causing her to miss classes.

"Despair Bear” - Alya laughs at Marinette being forced to kiss Chloe’s cheek and then outright compares Marinette to Chloe after knocking Chloe multiple times during the episode (sure, just compare your “best friend” to her multi-year bully, how "hilarious” of you).

“Gigantitan” - Alya has no qualms about mocking Marinette’s over her failures, even if it embarrasses her and she’s been through enough already.

“Frozer” - Alya tries to find ways for Marinette to prevent herself from third-wheeling for Adrien, but when Marinette tries to show character growth by wanting to go, Alya gets into a shouting match with the other girls over how Marinette has “liked Adrien forever and isn’t going to give up now”.

“Catalyst” - Alya claims that Marinette is only salty over Lila out of jealousy when “Frozer” exists and literally is the prime evidence of Adrien liking another girl and Marinette telling Alya outright and very genuinely that she’s not jealous.

“Chameleon” - Alya doesn’t care about her best friend sitting in the back by herself while Alya herself get to sit next to her boyfriend and everyone else in general gets to sit where they want (Alya even acting confused at the mere suggestion that she’d tried to engineer things to let Marinette sit next to Adrien), then not only believes Lila over Marinette but contradicts herself twice (asking Marinette for proof when she has none herself, then claiming that she wouldn’t let her best friend sit by herself).

“Christmaster” - Alya leaves Marinette to babysit so she and Nino can go out on a date.

“Desperada” - Alya suddenly is for Lukanette for literally one episode and doesn’t know how/doesn’t even try to cover for Marinette’s Adrien blindness despite mocking her for multiple seasons over it.

“Reflekdoll” - Alya invites Adrien to something that’s crucial for Marinette to focus on after Marinette has already told her not to and continues meddling to the point where it gets Juleka akumatized (she also doesn’t get punished for it and the blame gets thrown onto Marinette).

“The Puppeteer 2″ - Alya pushes her luck with Nathalie to try and get Marinette to come with her, Nino, Adrien, and Manon to the museum, then traps Marinette in a room with Adrien to force her to spent alone time with him, even abandoning and forgetting about the child that she offered to watch for Marinette so she and her boyfriend can go off alone.

“Miraculous New York” - Alya is told directly by Marinette that she needs help seeing Adrien as a friend, which leads Alya to do the exact opposite throughout the entire special, at one point shouting at Marinette and pressuring her to chase after a car, in the rain, while there’s a supervillain rampaging through Paris, and all of this right after the scheme that Alya had set up caused both Marinette and Adrien to go missing.

And just saying, as Marinette’s supposed “best friend,” Alya sure doesn’t know how to handle her. It was acceptable back in “The Bubbler” when she asked Marinette about signing the gift too late and the same goes for “Dark Cupid,” but by the time we get to late Season 2/3 and Alya refuses to learn Marinette’s weak spots (unless it’s to mock her) and adjust accordingly (like if she’d already made sure the gift was signed in “Chat Blanc,” which would’ve prevented Adrien seeing Ladybug at all due to the time difference), it starts getting infuriating.

A best friend is supposed to cover for their friend’s weaknesses. Alya doesn’t do that; she meddles and often drives Marinette’s anxiety even further up a wall with absolutely no consideration for Marinette’s feelings (”Dark Cupid,” “The Puppeteer 2,” “Reflekdoll,” “Miraculous New York”).

And here, she and the other girls are rewarded for it. Luka actively resisted his akumatization whereas the girls gave in immediately, yet Marinette still opens up to them in the end, likely because they had pressured her and made her feel bad for the secrets she was keeping while Luka was willing to actually wait for her to be ready to talk to him. I can’t put into words how frustrating it is watching these girls trample all over Marinette’s feelings, not have their worst actions called out, and then jump cut post-deakumatization to Marinette telling them exactly what they wanted to know about her love life.

You know what this entire episode is really missing, outside of a coherent plot, properly-paced development, and a basic understanding of rewarding a character for things they’ve held firmly to?

It’s missing the apology. Chat Noir apologizes to a bunch of moviegoers and Rose apologizes for the broken dollhouse, but no one apologizes to Marinette for how they treated her, especially not the “friends” who got rewarded in the end.

“Sorry, we shouldn’t have told you that we’d respect your feelings and then showed up unannounced to make you talk about them.”

“We’re sorry we came into your room and invaded your privacy. You were right to be mad at us.”

“Oh my gosh, Marinette, we got akumatized and we’re so sorry for literally all five of us going after you and probably scaring the living daylights out of you.”

And as if that wasn’t enough, guess what else this is missing? It’s kind of important and brought up directly in the episode, yet the episode simultaneously goes out of its way not to bring it up again.

It’s the reason why Marinette didn’t tell the girls about her relationship with Luka. It’s not there - it’s missing - and the girls never try to pursue the subject. They talk about how Marinette didn’t tell them but don’t think for a second that maybe it’s them who have failed as friends. Instead, they don’t guess anything about why Marinette wouldn’t tell them (which is already strange considering how much they already assume about her) and jump straight to, “well clearly we just need to push for her to talk to us.”

Gonna just go out on a limb here and say that maybe - just maybe - Marinette didn’t tell them because they are habitually pushy in everything they do.

Because they would’ve teased her relentlessly about, “ohhhh you’ve got eyes for Luka? what about Aaaaaadrien~? aren’t you sooo tooorn between both of these cute guys?”

Because they would’ve meddled to force her and Luka together and gotten on her case when/if she ever had to bail on him.

Because their intrusion on her feelings for Adrien had caused her nothing but problems and she just wanted to be with Luka in peace without them forcing their way into things.

Because--hey, wild thought--maybe they’re not really friends???

But the episode completely avoids it, because that would’ve meant addressing it; it would’ve meant acknowledging that they messed up, which - fun fact - they actually don’t do in the episode.

They invaded Marinette’s privacy, insisted that she tell them how she feels (not about them of course because that would imply that they felt like they screwed up), and in the end it’s Marinette who gives them exactly what they asked of her, and the closest thing we get to acknowledging anything is Alix telling her/joking with her that they’ll help her confess to whoever she likes as soon as she tells them she’s ready.

That’s not an apology. That’s not an acknowledgment of wrongdoing. Even when the five of them are about to get akumatized, it’s not a circle of them saying, “here’s how I screwed up, I could’ve done better but I didn’t and I lost Marinette because of it.”

No. It’s just them talking about how sad the situation is. Mylene has the closest thing to remorse in saying, “I hoped it would work,” but where does it go? A grand total of nowhere, especially because Marinette still takes the bracelet in the end instead of the girls mutually deciding, “okay, maybe the bracelet was a bad idea; how about we all agree on making something together instead, no requirements attached?”

And then the episode has the gall to act as if Alya has gone through character growth when all they did was put Alya through the same thing that Chloe did. I’ll explain that last bit momentarily, but first let’s talk about the whole “growth” thing.

Because there’s no apology or acknowledgement of wrongdoing, all Alya does when she’s finally alone with Marinette is do a 180 from where she was at the start of the episode, going from, “friends have to tell each other everything,” to, “hey, if you don’t want to tell me, then that’s your right.”

The crucial part that’s supposed to go in the middle is missing. Instead of acknowledging her failures, Alya just cuts straight to “””being a better friend,”““ but storytelling doesn’t work that way.

It literally would have taken zero effort to fit an acknowledgement into that scene. “You don’t have to tell me everything, I get that now. All my meddling’s done is hurt you and I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t trust me.”

In a world where Marinette has to apologize for everything, has to learn lessons and suffer because the narrative says so, I will not accept anything less from other characters who are trying to develop and improve. That’s not fair to Marinette, nor has it ever been.

Instead of properly developing Alya, the show does whatever it can to get its audience to root for her as Marinette’s “best friend” (ugh) without having to put in the effort of admitting that Alya hasn’t been Marinette’s “best” friend.

Remember when I brought up Chloe? Yeah, “Malediktator” did a similar thing, showing Chloe doing something awful, then being sad (while not actually acknowledging the thing she did wrong), and in the end she was rewarded with a miraculous prematurely.

One show of character from Chloe and Marinette gave her a miraculous. One show of character from Alya and Marinette told her that she was Ladybug.

(Also, for the record, I think Chloe is far worse than Alya character-wise and I’m not comparing their characters; this is just the simplest comparison I can draw here from a narrative standpoint.)

“Miraculer” is another apt comparison, perhaps even more so. Chloe got Hawk Moth in her head after an akuma landed in her photo of her and Ladybug, but Chloe resisted and fought back, ultimately forcing the akuma out of her and freeing herself from Hawk Moth’s control.

But it wasn’t to develop her character; no, it was to convince the audience of Chloe and Sabrina’s friendship so they’d feel something during Sabrina’s happy flashbacks, then lay the foundation of tricking viewers into believing that Chloe might not go to Hawk Moth’s side.

At the end of the day, it was doing something that’s “never been done before” in order for the character to earn brownie points for something that the writers can just have them do because willpower is an easy thing to just write in. “Gang of Secrets” does the exact same thing when Lady Wifi breaks free from Shadow Moth, with Ladybug even hammering it home by talking about how no one’s ever done it before.

And the pacing is - again - awful. Not only is Ladybug banking on this working when she herself says that it’s never been done, but the conversation between her and Lady Wifi where Ladybug tries to convince her doesn’t even take a minute.

It also has nothing to do with Marinette herself; Ladybug relies on Alya’s adoration/friendship with her as Ladybug (you know, after Alya took a photo of LadyNoir kissing and posted it online without Ladybug’s consent, betrayed her by putting information on the LadyBlog that Hawk Moth was able to take advantage of, and is the only hero outside of Chloe to resist returning a miraculous) in order to break from Hawk Moth’s control, because talking about Marinette with Lady Wifi didn’t even work.

(Ladybug also uses her yoyo as a portal to the Miracle Box when this has never been pre-established to be a thing despite Ladybug acting as if she knew it was; further proof that this episode was rushed.)

And of course talking about Marinette didn’t work, because that would’ve meant convincing Alya that her reason for getting akumatized was “wrong” and the episode didn’t want to do that. It didn’t want someone else actually learning something and feeling bad; surely, this is just Alya being manipulated by Shadow Moth and having the power to break free because Ladybug “needs Rena Rouge” and not because Lady Wifi and her friends are chasing after their supposed best friend and that’s--you know--wrong???

Rena Rouge’s reappearance is also yet another thing the episode refuses to address because it avoids the topic of “but my identity--”. At least “Heart Hunter” had the tact to have Kagami question why Ladybug was giving her the dragon again, but “Gang of Secrets” treads as lightly as possible on any discussion of identities outside of Marinette saying that she can’t, as if it were Marinette who made the choice of concealing her identity and not the basic idea of heroing that has been stressed over and over for the whole show.

Even Plagg of all kwami stated back in “Origins” that no one is supposed to know about secret identities, a rule that continues becoming flaky and muddled with each passing season, almost like they kept attempting to retcon and make the audience dulled to the idea so that the reveal in “Gang of Secrets” would be more acceptable.

But now, with the way they did it and how they don’t even have Tikki comment on the matter, it once again has it look like they’re making it - say it with me, everyone - Marinette’s fault.

Alya says that Marinette has a choice in telling her secret, Marinette insists that she doesn’t and goes on and on about how it’ll change everything, and then just... tells Alya her secret in the end.

And remember all the way back in Season 2? “Sapotis”?

Alya: What were you saying about her secret identity?

Marinette: Ladybug needs it to protect her family and friends. Otherwise the villains could use them to get to her.

Alya: Well, if I knew who Ladybug really was, I'd keep it a secret. I would even help her! Like say, if you were Ladybug, I'd cover for you — when you needed to transform in school, go fight the "baddies", you know?

Marinette: Oh yeah? Well, if I was Ladybug I wouldn't even tell you, to protect you from the "baddies", you know?

Alya: You serious? If I was Ladybug, I'd totally tell you! Because I tell my best friend everything.

And now here we are in “Gang of Secrets,” as if the narrative is saying, “See, Marinette? Alya was right all along, you were just being ridiculous and making yourself suffer for no reason!”

Yet Marinette had a right to keep her secrets. When Alya and Nino learned each other’s identities, Alya took a hit for Nino in “Catalyst” and both of them fell to Scarlet Moth’s akumas. Chloe was a mess and a half because of Hawk Moth knowing her identity. Fu had told Marinette that her miraculous would get taken if she and Chat Noir learned each other’s identities.

The only ones who received no consequences due to someone knowing their identity were Pegase (who Chat Noir and Markov knew), Ryuko (who Chat Noir, Ikari Gozen, and Hawk Moth knew), and Viperion (who Adrien knew). “Chat Blanc” also exists where Marinette got the impression that people discovering her identity would be a disaster, and even all the way back in “Lady Wifi” insisted that not telling anyone her identity was “listening to her head and not her heart,” and the narrative has relentlessly humiliated her for going with her heart, so yeah, probably for the best.

I hate that the episode avoids talking about anything identity-related outside of what comes out of Marinette’s mouth to make it appear like it was her choice all along. I hate that they had Tikki fixate on Marinette’s love problems instead of having her actually support Marinette and admit that Marinette should tell someone before she has a mental breakdown. I hate that the episode inserts Rena Rouge into the plot as if to brush all identity issues away so as to make Marinette’s identity reveal seem less jarring.

Now, of course I’m glad Marinette told someone. Of course I want her to get love and support from someone. Of course I think the benefits outweigh the risks, or I wouldn’t have written multiple fix-its where her identity gets revealed in some way or someone already knows.

But I didn’t want it to be Alya, because I knew how they’d do it. I knew they’d do it wrong and I knew that they wouldn’t have the courage to address Alya’s issues properly.

Those familiar with my blog will know that I’d been taking negative predictions for future seasons for a while and adding them to cards whenever they were proven right. Does anyone remember the Season 4 predictions that were proven correct for “Gang of Secrets,” specifically these ones?

- “Alya will suddenly be portrayed as a good/worthy friend to Marinette in/if there's an episode where Marinette tells her that she's Ladybug”

- “Alya resisting Shadow Moth/fighting back against him will be used to excuse telling Alya Marinette's secret identity“

- “Alya will know that Marinette is Ladybug first because "BFFs" despite being one of the worst candidates for it“

- “The secret that broke Lukanette up will be resolved in episode 3 when Marinette tells Alya“

Each and every one of those were mine, because I knew that whether Season 4 had a proper chronological order or not, the writers would not have the guts to develop Alya first and then have Marinette tell her in a future episode after Alya has properly earned it.

I knew that they wouldn’t take time to develop Alya. I knew that they would have Alya resist Shadow Moth to make Alya look “worthy” of the secret. I knew that Alya would swoop in during the last minute and a half of an episode, insisting that Marinette “didn’t have to tell her anything” when Alya had been pushy and insistent for the entire rest of the episode and the whole series in general, and would ultimately be rewarded with the big secret simply because she’s “the best friend” and that’s it.

The Alya at the end of the episode isn’t the Alya I’ve known for the entire rest of the series before this, or at the very least they turned her into an Alya I don’t recognize.

Alya claims during the ending scene that she knows that Marinette is hiding something beyond her love problems because she - as a reporter and “her best friend” - can sense such things, and all I’m left wondering is

w h e r e ?

Where and when has Alya been suspicious or worried about Marinette keeping a secret from her? What, back in “The Pharoah” where she didn’t immediately disregard Marinette for the role of Ladybug, or “Simon Says” where she vaguely teased Marinette about having a double life, both Season 1 episodes?

Where was Alya in “Truth” saying that she didn’t know Marinette’s secret but knew that she was keeping one? Where was Alya anywhere in Season 3 being concerned that Marinette hasn’t told her something? Where was this “supposedly very observant” Alya when Marinette needed her to out Lila because Lila got her expelled--oh wait, Alya “observed” that Lila did nothing and Marinette was just jealous.

What, is it only now that Alya suddenly “knows” that Marinette is hiding something else? Now, after Alya has already not known that Marinette was literally dating someone, even when Alya had multiples pictures of Marinette and said someone giving each other heart eyes and saw Marinette leaving school with said someone riding on the same bike together, you know, like normal, typical, average friends would?

Where’s the line where Alya acknowledges the problem? Where’s Alya sitting down with Marinette and admitting, “hey, I’m sorry I haven’t noticed this stuff, but I promise I’ll do better starting right now, and that’s how I know now that you’re hiding something else, and I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that it’s been hurting you”?

I can’t tell you where it is, but I can say that it’s certainly not in this episode. 60% of the episode features the Alya we knew from the rest of the series and then switches her out the second she’s de-akumatized for another Alya who hasn’t done anything that the old one has because she pretends like it didn’t happen.

You know how I know? Because of this absolute gut punch of a line that showed that the series wanted to handwave everything away.

“I know how to keep a secret.”

...Really? Does she now? Well, I hope everyone remembered my point about “Animan” and “The Puppeteer 2,” because I’m bringing it right back.

Considering that “Truth” has been burned into all of our memories, we all definitely remember when Truth shoots Alya and questions her on Marinette’s secret, to which Alya states that Marinette’s secret is, “She’s in love with Adrien Agreste.” Now, at the time of Season 4′s airing, this is very much not a secret, as most characters already knew about Marinette’s crush, to the point where it’d been broadcast on television during Season 2.

But do you know when it was actually a secret? Back in Season 1, specifically in the episode “Animan” where Alya told Nino.

And not only did she tell Nino, but she lied to Marinette by claiming that she didn’t, acting as if Nino knew that Marinette had a crush but didn’t know who she was crushing on, which is then directly proven false as Nino accidentally implies that he does know who it is. This is also after Alya had gotten on Marinette’s case for trying to set her up with Nino, and then she had the gall to say that she wouldn’t spill Marinette’s secret because she, and I quote, “doesn't go around making decisions for other people,“ a statement that is directly contradicted by this little thing known as everything Alya has ever said and done in the entire series.

And while Marinette meddling in Alya’s love life actually ended up working out for Alya, Alya meddling in Marinette’s by telling Nino who Marinette is crushing on comes back to bite Marinette - not Alya (because of course) - in the infamous episode of “The Puppeteer 2,” where Marinette realizes that Alya really did tell Nino that she was crushing on Adrien.

Marinette: You told me you wouldn't tell Nino!

Alya: I haven't told him. Right, Nino? I didn't tell you anything. (elbows him)

Nino: She didn't tell me. And besides, I told her I wouldn't tell.

Then, when she’s called out on it, Alya lies again, and shamelessly so.

Marinette: Why did you tell Nino everything? You promised you wouldn't!

Alya: I didn't, I swear! Besides, even if I had told him everything, he would still be clueless. Ugh, who cares anyway? I've set everything up with Nino, who doesn't know a thing, so you can finally pour your heart out to Adrien, girl!

And now, here we are one season later - and not even half of a season if you go by production code order - and Alya claims that she knows how to keep a secret.

No. No, she does not. In fact, she does even worse because she won’t even admit when she’s spilled said secret. I absolutely refuse to accept that Alya is “worthy” or “deserving” of learning that Marinette is Ladybug when she couldn’t even keep a basic secret like who her friend was crushing on.

And no, it didn’t matter that Nino was her boyfriend, or that maybe she thought it would work out because Nino was friends with Adrien. By that logic, Alya would tell Adrien that Marinette is Ladybug if she heard that Ladybug is who Adrien was crushing on and we all know how that would’ve gone.

Marinette has a right to tell her secret to whoever she wants and I’m glad that a burden has been lifted from her, but that doesn’t mean I have to be happy that it’s Alya. That doesn’t mean I have to be happy that, after so many moments of Alya disrespecting Marinette’s feelings, she is the one who gets to hear the big secret that the fandom has been waiting for someone to find out about since the very start of the series.

Luka said it best in “Truth” that the truth is meant to be shared, not taken by force, but Marinette was forced to tell Alya by the narrative because Alya is her supposed “best friend.” It pushed Marinette to her breaking point, forced her to break up with the guy who has respected her agency and feelings since the day they met, and gave her a version of her “best friend” with the same name and face but with none of the responsibility from previous events so that said version was there at the right time and the right place to hear what had to be heard.

And in the end, I end up feeling nothing. Marinette doesn’t even have a “Marinette” reaction to saying it as one would expect; for her to blurt it out and then immediately start panicking until Alya hugs her to calm her down. Instead, Marinette just says it and stares silently at Alya - after blabbing this huge, very big deal of a secret - until Alya goes in for a hug (the “happy/hopeful” ending of which is why I feel like this episode also gets less flak, as the previous two ended off rather depressing/upsetting).

It’s off. Everything is off. The pacing, the delivery, and the logic that the episode uses. The emotion in Marinette’s voice when she’s rambling about how hard it is to keep her secret is so powerful, but then the ending hits and she just says it, breaking the momentum they had going. They pulled the card of Alya walking away too soon when they could’ve saved it, having Marinette go quiet and letting Alya take a few steps away in order to let the moment build before Marinette finally blurts out the secret she’s been painfully holding in.

But they didn’t, and I’m so many levels of dissatisfied. I wasn’t against the idea of Alya learning Marinette’s secret at some point (though honestly, Alix would’ve been a better pick considering that Bunnyx will know eventually anyway, and I say that not even liking Alix!), but not now; not when Alya had so much to work towards.

And now what? What happens now? Now Alya will turn against Lila, not because she learned to have faith and believe in Marinette, but because Marinette is Ladybug, which disproves Lila’s ultimate lie that got Alya’s attention in the first place? Now Alya will be supportive and less teasing/mocking whenever Marinette will be late, not because she understands that Marinette isn’t perfect and has so many other things on her mind, but because she’s Ladybug and has “hero stuff” to take care of? Now Alya will be careful about what she puts on the LadyBlog, not because she respected Ladybug and what Ladybug would want, but because Ladybug is now her best friend and that changes everything?

Because now, Alya has a free pass to all of that, the show making her spontaneously “developed” now so they won’t have to develop her later, and disappointing doesn’t even begin to describe it.

#category: salt #episode: Gang of Secrets #other: ml spoilers #category: long post #word count: over 7000 #other: ask and answer #((I know this is long so I did what I did in ''The Puppeteer 2'' where I had pictures to break it up.))

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anneapocalypse · 3 years ago

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Dragon Age: Asunder

Crosspost. Originally posted on dreamwidth on 06/15/20.

A religion without ideals is tyranny.

–Divine Justinia V

"This is our power. We may unleash great destructive force, or we may control it. It is a choice we must make wisely, for this power can bring great suffering to others."

–Wynne

Asunder is the third novel in the Dragon Age universe, written by David Gaider and published in 2011. It takes place after Dragon Age II and before Inquisition. As a story, it deals with the growing tensions between mages and templars at the White Spire in Val Royeaux and across Thedas, and also explores some of the intricacies of magic in this universe, particularly with regard to Fade spirits.

At this time, following Anders' attack on the Kirkwall Chantry and the ensuing battle between the mages and the templars, the College of Magi has been dissolved. This means that the First Enchanters from the various Circles are no longer allowed to convene, effectively isolating the Circles from one another. At Val Royeaux's White Spire, a series of murders has drawn the attention of the Seekers, with Lord Seeker Lambert arriving to personally oversee an investigation.

Meanwhile, our old friend Wynne arrives at the White Spire about to embark on a mission to save a friend of hers from possession. She enlists the help of Enchanter Rhys and Knight-Captain Evangeline.

So yeah there's a lot going on in this story, and though it's not immediately clear how all the threads connect, they definitely do. There is also a plain old civil war in Orlais as well as the mage-templar conflict, with a lord looking to depose the Empress and take the throne. This is really only a vague backdrop in Asunder; we'll learn all about it in The Masked Empire.

Spoilers follow.

Rhys, Cole, and the Nature of Spirits

The arcs of these two characters are so deeply intertwined that I don't feel I can really separate them.

It turns out the main character, Rhys, is Wynne's son. This caught me by surprise as I'd totally forgotten that Wynne even had a son, but it's actually established in party dialogue in Origins. Rhys himself is a "spirit medium," and communicating with benevolent spirits is a particular talent of his and part of his research, though he has been forbidden from pursuing that research any further since the Kirkwall incident and the templars tightening restrictions.

Spirit healing is a particularly interesting specialization to me because if you read the Codex entries, you learn that this magic is specifically drawn from spirits perceived to be benevolent or at least nonthreatening—spirits of compassion, hope, faith, and so forth. Templars are wary of it, but it's not forbidden. Wynne held this specialization in Origins, as well as being the first character we meet who was bound (some might say possessed, though that's up for debate) by a benevolent spirit, which had saved her life in battle at Kinloch Hold.

I did not know Cole was in this book! I also did not know Cole was a SERIAL KILLER. Now I'm still early in Inquisition, so that information may be in there and I haven't gotten to it yet, but it was a surprise for me. This sure makes it interesting that he's a companion in the game, and also perhaps does not make a great case for benevolent spirits.

Cole calls into question what Rhys knows about spirits and about his own abilities. We ultimately aren't given a definite answer for why Rhys couldn't sense what Cole truly was, whether Cole was influencing his mind the whole time, or whether it was simply Cole's sincere belief that he was human that made him manifest as human to Rhys.

I kinda wish the development of Rhys and Cole's friendship had been shown in full and not just summarized, though I realize there probably wasn't room for it. Nevertheless, I though it was really interesting. Rhys is certain Cole is not a spirit—that if he has, Rhys would be able to sense him as such. But if you've met Cole in Inquisition, you already know that is in fact what he is, though as is revealed in the book's epilogue, there was a real Cole, a boy brought to the tower and forgotten in the dungeon where he died, alone save for the spirit of compassion who stayed with him and comforted him in his final hours. The Cole we meet is described as a young man, around twenty, so a bit older than I'd read him for in-game, and not a child.

Rhys also could not sense the spirit in Wynne. It seems that once a spirit has bonded to the soul of a mortal and they have become one, the spirit cannot be sensed in the same way. Presumably Rhys also would not have been able to sense Justice, had he met Anders. I am curious, then, whether Cole the spirit possesses any of Cole the human. It does not seem like he possessed his body, as Justice possessed Kristoff's, and I'm not sure that it's possible for a spirit to possess the soul of a mortal once they've died. It's very possible Cole is just a different case but it did make me wonder.

Hedge Magic

Cole is, or at least appears to be (and the human Cole probably was), what is called colloquially a "hedge mage" and formally "arcanist derangement." If a mage is left untrained and never learns to consciously channel their power through spells, their magic will express itself in involuntary and unpredictable ways—some of which may not even be immediately recognizable as magic.

Who is actually considered a hedge mage seems to depend on who you ask. The Chantry stance seems to encompass just about anyone trained outside the Circle&,mdash;the Chasind "witches," for example, or Avvar shamans. The wiki even lists Morrigan as a hedge mage, which to me seems frankly ridiculous. Morrigan possesses unusual abilities, most notably shapechanging, but based on the way Morrigan uses magic in Origins I think it is clear that she knows spells, and has great control over the magic she wields. Morrigan wasn't trained by the Circle, but she absolutely was trained. Morrigan and Cole aren't remotely in the same category to me.

Blood Magic

The story raises some interesting questions about the nature of blood magic, which I'd like to write more about later, but I'll cover it in brief here. Knight-Captain Evangeline, a templar at the White Spire, finds the use of phylacteries to track mages a little too close to blood magic for her tastes, "A bit of hypocrisy in the name of the great good" as she puts it. We actually see Evangeline use a phylactery in this game, by holding it and concentrating to "channel power" into it, causing it to glow brighter the closer it comes to the mage whose blood it holds. This definitely does seem like magic. I don't know what else it could be in the context of this universe. Templars are not mages but they are using magic which says some interesting things about the nature of magic and of lyrium specifically.

Similar questions have been raised in this series about the use of darkspawn blood by the Grey Wardens, and whether the Joining is a form of blood magic. My question is this: does anything involving both blood and magic fall into the category of Blood Magic? Or is Blood Magic specifically the practice of drawing mana from the life force contained in blood? Because see I would tend to say the latter, which would mean that neither the phylacteries nor probably the Joining qualify. But this does raise interesting questions about the nature of magic either way. One could also argue that demons are drawn to the spilling of blood in general, and so any spell or ritual involving blood will attract them, and this is what qualifies them as blood magic, not the act of drawing mana from the blood specifically.

The Circle and the Chantry

It turns out that Pharmond's research on the Rite of Tranquility was sanctioned by the Divine herself, who is actively looking for ways to change the Circle. This provides some useful context for Inquisition!

From Evangeline's point of view, we are told that "Once upon a time the Chantry had considered the idea of a mage rebellion unthinkable as well." I… highly doubt that this is true. That may well be the official stance, and Evangeline may well believe it, but I'm certain they've always been aware of the possibility. You don't create an order like the templars to maintain control of people without the awareness that they may resist that control.

It is pretty clear at this point that the Circle as it currently exists is not working. Asunder works well to highlight that even in the absence of the kind of egregious abuses we see in Kirkwall, locking up grown adults and treating them like children who can't control themselves does not foster safety. I've argued that some kind of checks on magical power are probably necessary to prevent abuses of that power and I still think that, but I also think that under the existing system, the templars have far too much power over other people, and that kind of power will lead to abuse.

The Seekers

If the Seekers of Truth are supposed to be overseeing the Templar Order, they seem to be doing a pretty abysmal job of it. Like where were the Seekers for the entire ten years before Anders' attack on the Chantry, when Kirkwall's troubled mages and templar abuses were known even outside Kirkwall? What were they doing all this time? Was Kirkwall a wake-up call that they hadn't been doing their jobs?

Lord Seeker Lambert reveals to us that he once served in Tevinter, where he was at one time sympathetic to mage freedom. What he saw there convinced him that mages will always take as much power as they can get by whatever means they deem necessary. Tevinter seems to have that effect on people. :P

Honestly, the Lord Seeker's case against Rhys—that he is under the influence of a demon who has caused him to forget what he's done—is so convincing I almost believe it. And it's almost true, but the stinger in the Epilogue is that it really was Cole alone, and not Rhys, who committed the murders, even though Rhys is still afraid he did it. This is made pretty clear when Cole kills Lord Seeker Lambert, proving that he did not need to possess a mage to carry out the murders.

It did not escape my attention that we have a different Lord Seeker in Inquisition than the one in this book, and because of that I predicted that Cole was going to kill Lambert before the end—and I was correct! Hilariously, it also took me most of the book to figure out that Lord Seeker Lamber is the guy on the cover. He's not really a main character, so I'm not sure why it was him. Rhys and Evangeline would have made more sense to me, or Rhys and Adrian, or even Wynne and Pharamond.

Tranquility

The twist on Wynne's possessed friend Pharamond is that he's Tranquil—and therefore shouldn't be able to be possessed at all.

The official word on the Rite of Tranquility is that it severs a mage's connection to the Fade, removing their desires and emotions so that they are no longer susceptible to demons and can no longer perform magic. Tranquil still possess free will and problem-solving abilities. Most Tranquil, if asked, will express contentment with their state.

However, we also have two canonical examples of Tranquility being reversed. In DA2, during the failed attempt to rescue Anders' former lover Karl, contact with Justice temporarily undoes Karl's Tranquility. Karl begs Anders to kill him rather than let him become Tranquil again.

Then here in Asunder, we have Pharamond.

Pharamond has been conducting research which has revealed to him what the Rite of Tranquility really is. The Tranquil are not immune to demons, merely undesirable to them, since without emotions and desires they cannot give a demon the experiences they crave. But a Tranquil can be possessed. They can even make contact with spirits under the right circumstances, and if a spirit touches the mind of a Tranquil, it seems their connection to the Fade may be restored.

This seems consistent with what happened with Karl and Justice; that it was only a temporary effect was probably related to Justice's unusual state, stuck in the physical world and bonded to a human.

Pharamond, as a result of his experiments, manages to reverse his own Tranquility. A restored Pharamond describes Tranquility as being like a dream, in which you know something is off but you cannot act other than the dream allows. This is certainly a chilling description. Pharamond, like Karl, ultimately would rather die than become Tranquil again. I think it's safe to say that regardless of how pleasant or unpleasant Tranquility is, it fundamentally changes a person, removing a vital part of who they are.

But despite how Pharamond describes Tranquility, we have the word of another Tranquil to consider. A Tranquil who chooses to aid the rebels later on remarks that "Obedience is prudent. To interpret it as a lack of free will would be an error."

Wynne

Wynne definitely feels like Wynne, but I'd agree with Rhys that she has changed, and I'm not surprised she has—it has, after all, been ten years, and the Wynne we met in Origins did not even expect to be alive ten years later. Seeing her through Rhys's somewhat distrusting eyes, I even wondered at some points if she was lying about their mission.

That Wynne acquired a taste for dwarven ale while in Orzammar delights me, as does her ongoing friendship with Shale, who also appears in this book!

As a sidenote, it took me reading this book to notice that Wynne in the game does not have a British accent like most Fereldans. Her voice actor is American.

It is noteworthy that Wynne is pro-Circle, in that she voted against the Circle breaking from the Chantry. It should also be noted that even pro-Circle mages do not tend to support templar abuses of their fellow mages. You might say they are reformists rather than total abolitionists. I bring this up because it is a contentious point in Inquisition concerning certain companions, and I think it is important to acknowledge that mages can be pro-Circle and pro-reform.

As the story progresses, we find Wynne pushed further and further to the side of the rebel mages, in large part to save her son's life. But it is revealed that her aspirations may have been a bit more radical all along than they initially appeared: after learning of the results of Pharamond's research, Wynne sent Shale to notify the nearest Circle and had them send word to every Circle in Thedas. I don't think she was hoping to start a war, but to give the Circles vital knowledge and bargaining power. Alas, things did not go as peacefully as she'd hoped, yet Wynne still contributed to the fight in a meaningful way.

It was nice to see Wynne herself struggle against temptation, in her desperation to save her son. It's not clear what actually would have happened had Wynne been able to use the staff Evangeline destroyed, but given the way Wynne acted while wielding it, I suspect some kind of demonic influence. (While there is no canon to confirm this, I also suspect this might be the Malign Staff that can be looted from a Hurlock general during the Battle of Denerim, which fits the physical description. The Corrupted Magister's Staff would also fit, but the Malign Staff specifically reduces willpower, which would make the user more susceptible to demons.)

In the end, Wynne sacrifices herself to save Evangeline, the templar her son loves, feeling that she is fulfilling the purpose for which the spirit of faith kept her alive. It's a good end for Wynne, and in its own way her death also supports the mage rebellion. Rhys is asked to take his mother's place in the Aequitarian fraternity, and by casting his vote to fight for their for freedom, it is he tips the balance. I actually teared up a bit when Rhys gave his speech, which is not simply about fighting but about letting go of their past assumptions about magic and everything around it.

Fiona

So Fiona is already Grand Enchanter at this point, elected fairly recently, and her election was so controversial due to her staunch Libertarian leanings that the Chantry reacted by disbanding the College of Enchanters so that they could no longer convene.

Reading this book, I really wanted to know why and how Fiona ended up returning to the Circle, because last we saw Fiona, she was a Grey Warden who had all but sworn she would never return to the Circle. And granted, it's been thirty years, so I wasn't questioning that it could happen, only the why and how. All she says in the book is "I came to the Circle from the Grey Wardens because I saw something had to be done."

From a Doylist standpoint, it was hard not to see this as purely a move to make "Fuck the Divine" Fiona important in Inquisition, because, you know, people like to hear familiar names. (And given the role the Wardens play in Inquisition, I wasn't sure why Fiona couldn't have been just as relevant as a Grey Warden, especially since she is now immune to the Calling.) The logical in-universe conclusion seemed to be that Fiona returned to the Circle for the specific purpose of pushing the Circle to secede from the Chantry and start a revolution.

The book offers no answers to this question. I checked, the wiki, however, and it seems that dialogue with Fiona in Inquisition does offer an answer. Apparently after the events of The Calling Fiona was not only immune to the Calling but cured of the Taint altogether—she was in fact no longer a Grey Warden, and due to her unique immunity, she was unable to re-take the Joining. And so, expelled from the Wardens, she was sent back to the Circle, where she decided she could do more good. I find that a satisfactory answer, and it seems to show some real character growth on Fiona's part.

Divine Justinia V

With my Fiona questions answered, I have one major lingering question, and it's about Divine Justinia V, formerly known as Revered Mother Dorothea of the Lothering Chantry. (And we're not going to get into how this poor woman appears to have aged 40 years in 13, because this post is not about the games.)

Divine Justinia is sort of a peripheral presence in this story but nonetheless an important one. Nothing directly comes of the attack on her by a solo mage early in the book, but it's pointed out later that said mage could never even have gotten out of the tower, nevermind anywhere near the Divine, without some templars at the very least looking the other way—and more likely actively facilitating.

At this time, Divine Justinia is a fairly radical voice in the Chantry, to the extent that I'm curious how she came to be Divine in the first place. Her election is said to have been controversial. Though it is suggested in Dragon Age II that Justinia is considering an Exalted March on Kirkwall to restore order, in hindsight perhaps we cannot be sure she would not have favored the mages or at least sought a more equitable resolution. It turns out to be Justinia who sanctioned Pharamond's research in the first place, and everything we see from here on paints her as a radically pro-mage Divine.

So how'd she get elected in the first place? This is really about more than Justinia herself; it points to a growing liberal streak within the Chantry leading to enough Grand Clerics willing to support a relatively young and pro-mage Divine who was not even a Grand Cleric herself.

The Doylist part of me says that Mother Dorothea ends up Divine because the writers really wanted Leliana to stay relevant enough to be in every single game, even when it meant overriding the player choice not to harden her in Origins (though you can always argue that if the Warden didn't harden her, some later experience did). But while I strongly suspect that's the case, I'd still like it to make sense in-universe, and maybe it does.

The wiki tells me that the previous Divine, Beatrix III, named Dorothea as her preferred successor, and though the Grand Clerics do have the power to overrule that appointment, traditionally they usually don't. Apparently, not enough of them found Justinia radical enough to veto, because she was elected Divine despite controversy. So why did Beatrix favor Mother Dorothea? I'm hoping to learn more about Beatrix in Dawn of the Seeker, the animated film about a conspiracy against the Divine which Cassandra helps to foil, and which I hope to watch soon!

Miscellaneous Lore

As our heroes trek across Orlais, coming in contact with common people along hte way, we are reminded that because most mages are taken to the Circle at a young age, your average person rarely has contact with a mage, and has little experience with them beyond what they're told.

Apparently the Black City is supposed to be the only constant in the Fade, visible on the horizon from any point in that realm. I will have to keep an eye out in the games from now on and see if it actually is.

This book (and The Masked Empire which follows it) makes a point of describing elves as having "strange alien eyes." It seems like the books are really leaning into DA2's redesign to make the elves look Different.

You're going to see the word "conclave" thrown around a lot toward the end of this book so I think it's important to note that we're not at any point here talking about the same Conclave at Haven that is destroyed at the beginning of Inquisition. A conclave in this context just refers to a gathering of mage leadership.

Final Thoughts

Asunder is a complicated story, but all of its threads really do come together in the end and I think it offers a great prelude to Inquisition as well as fascinating exploration of how magic and spirits work in this setting. Most important, I think, is the theme that Rhy's speech at the end highlights: there is so much the characters of this world do not yet understand about magic, spirits, the rites and rituals they have come to depend on, and the very nature of their world. Most of the major characters in this story have their beliefs called into question in one way or another, leading many of them to admit that they know far less than they thought they did.

It was a great read, and I really enjoyed it.

#dragon age #dragon age asunder #dragon age wynne #dragon age rhys #dragone age cole #dragon age evangeline #dragon age fiona #anne does dragon age #blunders of thedas #dragon age meta

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