#because i was just so overwhelmed at how bad it was and my brain malfunctioned.

[p1utofairy]

PAC: “i just wanna be your favorite…” ⭐️🎀💍

• which fictional characters is your person most like?

disclaimer ✩: 18+ mature themes. take what resonates, leave what doesn't. i also just wanna say thank y'all from the bottom of my heart for the support <3 it means so much to me. enjoy!

pile 1 💸 —

"i can't wait 'til i get you on the floor, good-looking. hey, going hot, so hot, just like an oven. and ow! burned myself, i just had to touch it. but it's so fire, and it's all mine."

hiii pile 1! let me start off by saying your person is one fineeee m'fer! they look straight out of an old hollywood movie. suit & tie by justin timberlake ft. jay z won't stop playing in my head lol, their vibe is literally that song. they're gonna love taking you out to fun events and showing you off to people hehe i heard "trophy wife." this isn't in a superficial way by any means, they just really love how you look and how bright your personality shines. you have a mesmerizing appearance and an extraordinary personality to match. i feel like your eyes or their eyes is another main focus that will garner lots of compliments. ok, wow. back to the topic at hand! the characters i channeled were jay gatsby from ‘the great gatsby’, lon hammond from ‘the notebook’, and napoleon solo from ‘the man from U.N.C.L.E.’ now of course your person may not exactly look like these characters but the ✨vibes✨ are very much there. you're gonna have the time of your life with this person lol they are so damn fun and charismatic. i can hear them teasing you and and saying "don't be a brat, baby." with a sly smirk on their face LOL they're gonna make you feel so tingly and giddy inside ahhh. i feel like it was hard for them to settle down before you came into their life pile 1. they wanted to have their cake and eat it too. i mean this person could honestly have whatever they want, but you actually make them work for this relationship and they're not used to that. people (romantically and platonically) just fall for them at the drop of a dime because they are just so damn sexy, and it doesn't help that they're good with their words and actions. i just heard smooth operator by sade and ego by beyoncé at the same time lol this person is seriously a charmer! they can't help it though, they just love to socialize and have a good time. on the flip side, this sometimes weighs them down. the constant attention and socializing can make them feel overwhelmed at times. i'm thinking of ‘the great gatsby’ when jay kept throwing elaborate parties and inviting thousands of people to attend them, so that he could eventually catch daisy's attention. i'm hearing "when you're happy, they're happy!" random thought, but for some of you…your person could be from the UK/have a thick british accent. i also feel like your person is funny af, they've got jokes for dayssssss. they honestly take nothing serious…like if either of you had a bad day at work or just in general, TRUST that they will find a way to turn it around. like it'll actually amaze you how they just go through life vibing and you'll just be like how??? and i can hear them saying "i don't know, babe. i just got it like that." lol they're so cocky (but in an annoyingly hot way) you will never be able to stay mad at them. like if you were being petty and giving them the silent treatment for whatever reason…i can see you getting ready and they'd come up all close behind you, arms around your waist, kissing your neck and they'd be like "you still mad at me, baby?" and your brain would literally malfunction like €|>~€\€,\!|!]€]€YESNOYESNO.!:!,&:’ i'm crying this is hilarious. never a dull moment with them, pile 1. i'm telling ya!

other channeled messages:

theme from new york, new york by frank sinatra, gene kelly, tuxedo, her way by partynextdoor, sophisticated, expensive cologne, j'adore dior, pearly white teeth, cartier watch, swarovski crystals, meet me on the dance floor, babydoll by mariah carey, british, sprinter by dave & central cee, love island, damson idris, i'll make it happen, ballin’ by partynextdoor, diamonds are a girl's best friend

pile 2 💣 —

“who wants that perfect love story anyway, anyway. cliché, cliché, cliché, cliché. who wants that hero love that saves the day, anyway cliché, cliché, cliché, cliché.”

okayyyy pile 2, i see y'all with the bonnie and clyde vibes! let's buckle down and get serious though. i already feel like your person is very misunderstood. they might've had a rough childhood growing up or possibly struggled with connecting to their family. they feel like they fuck things up? they kinda think to themselves "why should i even try to be in a relationship, i'm a mess. i mess things up." it's actually sad because i feel like they're a great person (very soft and gentle) and when things go left/don't work out they immediately blame themselves because the blame was always put on them as a child. i'm hearing it's a "trauma response" :( aw pile 2 i feel like crying…your person really takes it on the chin and keeps it pushing. i can see them sitting on porch steps, gazing at the skyline and kinda just shrugging saying "that's just life i guess." they tend to self-sabotage before things even go into motion but before you two meet, they'll be pushed to confront their problems/fears. they have this cool, in-control, idgaf type of vibe on the outside but internally it's the opposite. i'm hearing pretty little fears by 6lack ft. j cole wow pile 2 they'll really have a soft spot for you. the characters i channeled were damon salvatore from ‘the vampire diaries’, luke glanton from ‘the place beyond the pines’ and tyler durden from ‘fight club’ which are some pretty complex personalities whew. your person is a loner by default, they feel like they really can't depend on many people. they've been left out in the cold so many times it's like they had no other choice but to become independent fast. when they meet you, pile 2…you're going to awaken them. i'm hearing j cole's verse in pretty little fears, “i'm loving your light, vulnerable. letting your guard down is honorable. 'specially when the past ain't been that friendly to you, but…there's magic in that.” it's gonna be insane to them how someone like you could display so much love, care and devotion towards them. i can see them keeping a really cute picture of you (or you two together) in their wallet/bag and just staring at it with a small smile on their face. you give them so much hope pile 2. they never knew they were capable of such strong emotions; love, happiness, joy. i can see you two laughing about something…you have this big grin on your face and when you turn your head to look at them, you just see them with a dopey smile on their face and a glint in their eyes just staring at you in awe. and you're just like "what?" but you don't even know how much you really mean to them in that moment. I'M ABOUT TO BURST INTO TEARS PLS I CAN'T. they're not used to anything stable, but you give them hope and anticipation for their future…with you. y'all are going to have to have so many enlightening, deep and forward-thinking conversations. i see them holding your hand and kissing your knuckles, taking random drives at night together while blasting music and going to the movies and talking/debating afterwards about what you hated and what you loved. k i'm crying, bye!

other channeled messages:

west coast by lana del rey, west side, successful relationship, turning tables by adele, cigarettes out the window by tv girl, well my boyfriend's in a band, ultraviolence album, someone like u (interlude) by ariana grande, toxic upbringing, scorpio moon, aries, smoking weed, american psycho, it's a forever thing

pile 3 🐚 —

“every little thing you do got me feeling some type of way. when you gimme that thunder you make my summer rain.”

welcome to your reading pile 3! idk why i wanted to say pile 333 hehe let's take that as a sign that you're about to meet your person soon. your person is so easy-going…like their energy feels so carefree and warm; like a nice summer breeze (i feel like some of you that chose this pile watch/really love the summer i turned pretty) i can see your person adjusting their sunglasses and saying "i'm just happy to be here." they're such a vibe lol. ok and why did i just randomly hear "no you're cute jeans." their sense of humor is so sjhfjdjcjdsn y'all are gonna have a lot of inside jokes together; internet memes especially. that "i'm sorry, i'm just in a silly goofy mood" shemar moore video just popped up in my head LMFAOOOO your person is hilarious pile 3. i channeled johnny storm from ‘fantastic four’, chad meeks-martin from ‘scream vi’, stefan salvatore from ‘the vampire diaries’ and conrad fisher from ‘the summer i turned pretty’ which are all pretty different but i see the vision pile 3…i see the vision. i feel like your person has just gotten back to themselves, because for awhile they weren't this upbeat and silly. i feel like this has to do with a past hurt/betrayal from either a friend or an ex-lover…that person took them for granted and made them feel small. i just randomly heard "katherine pierce" so maybe that person was very sneaky and never had good intentions in the first place. when they're with you though, they feel like a moth drawn to a flame. best friend by 50 cent just came to mind, "if i was your best friend, i want you 'round all the time. (i want you 'round me all the time) girl, i'll be your best friend if you promise you'll be mine (girl, promise you'll be mine)." i see you both posting funny photo dumps of you two together on instagram/instagram stories. i feel like y'all will be a PDA couple, and even if you aren't one of those type of people that likes all that…they're definitely gonna make you so happy that people visibly see the love between the two of you. i can see them kissing the side of your head, you slightly leaning into them…them giving you their hoodie/jacket to wear when you're cold. it's subtle things like that 🥹 so so so cute. you two have a very sacred, beautiful and divinely protected relationship. your person will be very generous with their time, money and love when it comes to you pile 3.

other channeled messages:

there goes my baby by usher, one in a million by ne-yo, connie baby, it's your world i'm just living in it, positions by ariana grande, unlock it by charlie xcx ft. kim petras & jay park, right my side by nicki minaj ft. chris brown, long walks on the beach, forever boy, vintage camera/digital camera, breakin’ my heart (pretty brown eyes) by mint condition, taylor swift, peter parker

pile 4 🌹—

“moment of honesty. someone's gotta take the lead tonight, who's it gonna be? i'm gonna sit right here and tell you all that comes to me. if you have something to say, you should say it right now.”

heyyy pile 4. i'm kinda stunned rn cause your person is sooooooooo captivated by you. like they wanted to skip all the bullshit and get right into it, and honestly…i #respect it. they think you're an absolute badass, you handle tough situations with so much grace. i'm hearing "you're better than me." lol they play no games pile 4, especially when it comes to you! i'm hearing that you've been through a lot, and it hasn't been easy for you to get to the point in your life that you're at now. they just wanna kiss you and make everything better. kiss it better by rihanna just started playing, "kiss it, kiss it, better baby." yeah your person is sensual af pile 4, it's givingggg taurus vibes. this is random af but i feel like they really love your back? if you wear a backless top or a backless dress, they will go absolutely FERAL. like fingers ghosting down your spine, their lips kissing down your neck…and don't get me started on the eye contact. their gaze is INTENSE. i’m hearing lyrics from nobody by selena gomez, "no kiss, no lips, no feel, no rush can keep me high, i swear no one…can love me like you do. can love me like you do, no." the characters i channeled were tobias eaton from ‘divergent’ and anakin skywalker from ‘star wars prequel trilogy’ which is so on brand. those 2 did not play about tris and padmé, ok?! you are their whole world pile 4. if it's not you, they don't want it. they feel so relaxed around you…like they can finally breathe. i can see them standing in a serious stance (obviously tense af) pondering about something and you just come behind them and wrap them in a big bear hug and they just…melt. they finally take that deep breath that they didn't even realize they were holding in for so long. they usually keep their feelings to themselves, but you create such a great safe space for them to be so open, honest and vulnerable; and vice versa. i'm also hearing that they are a very hands-on type of person, so whatever you need done/fixed, they sure as hell will find a way to do it for you. i can also see you two chilling/relaxing together a lot. don't get me wrong this person will always find something for you two to do, but there's something about that downtime (watching a movie while cuddled up with you on the couch, spending time with you and your loved ones/friends or taking a late night drive with you) that makes them think to themselves, "damn i really love life." 😮‍💨 you've got them locked in pile 4. it's so sweet & amazing.

other channeled messages:

1 of 1, peppers by lana del rey ft. tommy genesis, skywalker by miguel ft. travis scott, adore by cashmere cat ft. ariana grande, it's us against the world baby, 90210, pisces, dream guy, sauvage cologne, miss dior, sagittarius rising, virgo's groove by beyoncé, 1:11, best i ever had (remix) by drake & nicki minaj, all i want is you by miguel ft. j cole, bouquet of flowers, tennis bracelet, wild thoughts by dj khaled ft. rihanna & bryson tiller, cpr by summer walker

[planete777]

꒰ RED LINES .:. LN4 ꒱

( lando norris x fem!reader )

IN WHICH. y/n finds her fate hidden within two red lines, and fears the demise of her and lando's relationship. [based on this ask]

pt. 2 .:. 'red hearts'!

WARNINGS. pregnant!reader, both her and lando aren't ready so there are discussions about potential abortions, mental break downs (i.e panic attacks, crying, you know the drill), angst, mentions of throwing up (no one does it i promise), attachment issues (like me fr), a little bit of fluff (because im not that evil >:])

NOTE. first non-high!lando fic!! i've never written a pregnancy fic, so like, forgive me if it's bad haha 🥲 i put so much effort into my banner, like i'm so proud of it lmao. anyways, enjoy reading luvs 💗

SIDENOTE. my askbox is open! feel free to send in any high!lando thoughts, scenarios and requests, or any other trope too 🤍

edited to add tag in banner

y/n is almost blinded by it.

two bold, red lines.

she finds it completely comical how she didn't know it sooner, for the ink that runs down the result window is so palpable, it might as well have been written with a permanent marker.

the test taunts and mocks her as she stares at it in complete despair and confusion as she so sure that they had been careful. but now, she lets herself cry over spilt milk because having a baby, on top of mountainous piles of stress that came hand-in-hand with uni, was not a checkbox she would've liked to tick off amidst her status quo.

the bathroom pounds with an deafeningly eerie silence, as she stares, and stares, then blinks as tears flow, then stares again. her ears are swallowed by loud static and her vision fuzzes around the edges, making the test in her hand seem further away than it actually is, and she allows herself to completely fade out.

she feel utterly sick. like she wants to throw up, but the upcoming bile, instead, remains dislodged in her throat and presses immense weight into her chest. it shortens her breaths, she's hyperventilating as if she's been strangled, then panic completely overwhelms her. everything before her zooms in and out like a malfunctioning camera and the pregnancy test clatters to the ground as she digs the heels of her palms into her eyes.

she doesn't remember the last time she had a panic attack this severe, and neither does she know if she'll get over it solus. yearn for a presence beside her devours her brain and she wishes that lando–

lando.

the way her heart seems to squeeze in her chest is almost too animalistic to be normal, and it arrives at the thought of him being unacceptable of the baby. he's barely situated in one place, fuck, he basically travels for a living, and all her mind conjures is how he won't be there when she needs him most. she tries to wish it away, because just thinking about her makes her spiral even more and she knows she cannot survive with a child whose father decides to be absent.

codependency isn't great, that she's thoroughly aware of, but lando's presence brings a wave of comfort braided in the brightness of his smiles and the warmth of his embrace, and it has become her whole lifeline.

yet, the bathroom she's in feels too small and too cold to be anything other than unbearable, and her body feels to weak to remain upright, sliding down to the tiled floor. she sobbing and spluttering so much that lando can hear it from two rooms down, and he rushes into the en suite without a thought in mind.

he crouches down in front of her, hands flush against the skin of her cheeks. he's shaking, fucking terrified out of his wits, and his words are enunciated with a tremble.

"hey, hey, y/n breathe with me," he desperately takes her hands into his, and places it on his own chest, making exaggerated breaths as y/n's start to simmer. it feel like hours stretch by, the air surrounding feels tense with fear and devastation, and by the time she settles, y/n senses nothing but exhaustion.

"what's wrong, love? you're scaring me," lando gently asks, and she struggles to respond, mouth rid of any moisture as if it had been scraped dry. lando takes the initiative to look around in hopes that anything would give him a clue to his girlfriend's break down.

then he freezes.

the white stick lays there, gleaming and glowing like it's fucking sent from heaven, and he feels his heart plummet into the depths of his guts. he knows he can deny it all he wants, but it's undeniable, what he's seeing, yet prays like a grieving mother that what he thinks is not true as his quivering hands reaches for it.

two bold, red lines.

"oh fuck," it punches out of him, every inch of energy disperses like fleeing birds, "you're pregnant?"

it's so small, so timid that he almost doesn't see it, but she nods, and his arms fall like he's been shot and the test leaves his fingers. he swears he's drenched in ice cold water and he remains silent, bound by stunned numbness. his lack of response spurs y/n again, and she begins sobbing, pressing her face into her arms and wiping it furiously. all she thinks is that he doesn't want it, and out of sheer terror, she starts rambling utter shit.

"i can get rid of it, if you want, lando, just please i'm begging you, don't leave me."

he's crying himself now, doesn't know what to feel at the suggestion, but it makes him gag.

"get rid of it if i want to? fucking hell y/n, i'm not a prick like that," he fumbles out, words wet and hardly cohesive, "as long as you want to keep it, i want the baby too."

she looks up at him, eyes so full of hope that he immediately takes her into his arms.

"you sure, lando?" she's still hesitant, burying her head into his chest, and as further reassurance, he kisses her forehead, "as sure as i'll ever be."

[daboyau]

Hey, for the writing challenge, I'd be interested in seeing 38 for whichever of your AUs you prefer, if you're not overwhelmed!

Also, your latest chapter for the Hunger Games AU is so good! Donnie helping Digi and Gizmo is a little heartbreaking. He wants to be cold so bad, but no. And the descriptions were so excellent. I want to see all the designs! Especially the farmer and the corn haha. That cracked me up a bit:D Thanks for writing, I love to read it!

Sorry this took so long!! For some reason “hole” was just not wanting to cooperate with me! I had a handful of fleeting ideas (Zombie au, raph’s death in the bad timeline, shell rot, after the foot cass joins a cult that worships The Pit instead, etc) but ended up going with something for my Leave AU. I feel like I should have written you something RHG related since you gave me such a kind compliment about the last chapter. 😭 alas, my brain didn’t want to cooperate there. I hope you like this regardless!! @eb177

@boots-with-the-fur-club

It’s the fifth time they’ve run through this drill, but for some reason, Three just can’t seem to wrap his head around it. There’s something in the footwork, and the transition from one flowing movement to the next that he just keeps missing. His brothers are eyeing him nervously now. Their movements slow just a little, trying to give him time to catch up, or the opportunity to see how their steady movements differ from his own clumsy ones and fix his mistakes. 

Draxum has noticed. He’s watching them, eyes narrowed, lip curling with disdain. Three knows he should be better, just like he knows that his blundering and his brothers’ trying to cover for him will mean they get punished, too. He can’t let that happen, so he needs a way to draw all the attention (and all the ire) towards himself. Draxum draws closer, fury in his expression, a look that promises punishment for their unsatisfactory performance. Three’s heart is pounding hard against his plastron, and it’s easy to see that their creator is out for blood. 

When Draxum tells them to do it again, Three waits for him to circle closer. Then, he lets his ankle twist. He lets himself fall. 

One gasps and Four covers his mouth in a futile attempt to muffle his whimper. Two freezes, expression empty but eyes gone glassy and distant. Three barely has time to hit the ground before Draxum’s hand has circled his arm with bruising force, claws digging into muscle as he hauls him to his feet and drags him from the room. His brothers try to follow, but Three frantically shakes his head at them, eyes pleading. They fall back, watching him until the door slams shut between them.

He knows where they’re going. The fear is already rising like bile in his throat, choking him. It’s hard to breathe, and Draxum is so much bigger and he’s dragging him along now because Three is too short to keep up on his own, and the mark his grip leaves on his arm is going to take forever to heal, and he knows that this is going to hurt, and all he can think is at least it’s just me. 

The lab is usually forbidden. The only time Three is taken inside it is when he’s done something wrong. Something bad. Something that will require their creator to pick him apart to discover exactly what it is that has malfunctioned inside of him this time. Three doesn’t like the lab. 

There is a pit, tucked away in the corner. Maybe it used to be used for something good. Like a well, or a place to burn trash. Now it is used to hold them until Draxum has the time he requires to run his tests. To poke and prod and rip and cut and get answers to his many questions and grievances. 

Last time, he’d spent four days down there before Draxum had deemed it convenient to begin. Three trembles despite his best efforts to hide the fear that rises within him. The waiting is almost as bad as the tests. He wishes that Draxum would just get it over with, but he knows he’ll never get that lucky. After all, he’s the one who always puts himself into this position. He should just feel grateful that none of his brothers will be down there with him.

He hovers at the edge of the hole, his position held in the balance only by his creator’s hand on his arm. He wonders how long it will be this time. Draxum’s angry gaze tells him that he won’t like the answer. 

Draxum lets go of his arm. For one terrible, stomach churning second, Three remains where he is. Heels overhanging the emptiness, balanced only on his toes, swaying slightly as he stares up at his creator’s face. Draxum sneers. He presses one finger into the center of Three’s plastron. 

He tips backwards, into the darkness.

[lotuslol]

How have you beeeeeen, Lotus?

They all asked me irl

I told them "fine" cuz it would be too complicated to say "I have been dealing with total mental annilation due to the stupid lack of sleep and food and plenty of stress.

I had the equivelant of file formatting in my head, but it's just losing quick access to many apps and some chunk of memory (I remembered the name Elrond in 3 or 2 days so.. Here you go) and and waiting for...about 8 months now for it to reload back, like a computer.

I have been having 2 nightmares about th3 devil taking over home computer and making all the buttons work unlike their functions and nothing wanted to work and I had no access to shut down the computer to start over and a circus played in the screen and it felt like the devil was laughing all the way.

SO this was exactly what happened to me! Total malfunction, and it took forever to heal because, as far as I understand, if you heal faster it will hurt (more than how it was already hurting) you can cope but your brain can't cope, some people who had dpdr reported getting suddenly better, and the overwhelming change made them come back to their original state.

It's a funny illness where healing also hurts like the illness but you know the healing is FAR better than the illness, so you keep hoping and praying for it.

...that's all I had, and it was effective.

I am still alive despite not being able to seel life for what it is for a long time.

It's weird, being disabled in a place where you normally can function, and it's inside and outside your head, a place I never knew that was a bigger part than what it was.

Have dealt with my head before, I had OCD, I know how thoughts can alter and challenge reality if you weren't aware enough, thank God of saint George I learned that knowledge is power over OCD

But I never knew you could break so bad in places you never knew could break, like your ability to understand and feel personal about reality, to feel who you are and be resilient and independant from life and capable to recieving it, to have thoughts and feelings with ease.

Dpdr is more than disconnection from reality and self, it's the loss of ability to comprehend them, and so you disconnect from them.

It's the closest I could have reached to dementia and I am glad I never lost memory, just lost the function to access to it.

I told my therapist that it's like losing muscle function and waiting for your muscles to return back.

It's actually more like loss of smell.

I got COVID back in 2021 (it was very mild, just some cold that disappeared soon and loss of sense of smell)

And it's weird how I had my sense of smell for 21 years, but due to its loss for a month and a half, I couldn't recall the smell off anything. I tried to remember how a strawberry tasted like and I couldn't despite eating strawberries for far longer than I lost my sense of smell.

Same with dpdr, you have been "you" for all of your life but losing access to comprehend life for a while makes it hard to "remember?? "

It's still confusing, really.

the loss is gradual actually but if you don't know the signs, you only notice it when you finally break.

My biggest aspects that held till the end before I broke were my identity as a female, my connection to the physical world and my creative artistic spirit.

I, for a while, felt what it means to be a little dysphoric of my gender and its awful.

All of this I had plus a personal abuser in my head, how delightful!

Not only my head felt empty on one side and I could barely JUST BARELY function, but I also had company in my head that told me everyday that I was making all this up and I can be normal.

This FINE company gaslit me into believing myself to be gay (I am straight), a male, having a penis ("yout clotris looks weird, shaped like a penis") , not being in pain despite being in pain.

I am sorry for the tmi but I have been living in this alive nightmare for a long time, and I need a void that potentially listens to shout into because this illness altered my comprehension of memory and prayer so bad I couldn't precieve the existence of saints lile I used to (my belief system y'all, don't go shitting on me, it was already painful, no need to be self-righteous now :) )

But it didn't alter my belief in God, so that was GOOD!!

If it wasn't for God, I would have lost myself a long time ago...if it wasn't for believing that all that I believed in still existed, I would have been lost.

I doubt there is anything more brutal than dpdr in life, you become disabled in the deepest places in yourself and you can't compensate it for anything, the only merciful fact about it that it's not final, it heals, and that was one of 2 thin threads I remain alive now.

[dzpenumbra]

12/3/22

I don't want to write this. I'm just... I'm really overwhelmed right now. Every creak and bump in the apartment building I jump and my heart races. I don't feel safe. I don't know how else to put it. This is, from my understanding, a PTSD response. Like in a movie where a military vet jumps and freaks out when they hear fireworks or something. This is because I was abused a few hours ago. I don't want to talk about it, but I understand why it's happening now, which is... well it doesn't fix it, but it helps me at least understand that this isn't something wrong with me. This isn't a malfunction in my brain, this isn't chemical misfires, this isn't me being broken and needing to fix something. This is me actually not being safe, having been in an unsafe environment and suffered harm, and my body really not knowing where the next strike is going to come from in my weakened state.

It's because it's psychological and emotional pain. The best I can figure. Physical pain is much easier to identify these responses to, I speak from experience. If you've been following this for a while, you probably know my shin story. If not, let me really nutshell the fuck out of it. TLDR: Blood clot in my shin, ER tried to amputate, I got a second opinion and saved the leg. That has a lot of layers to it, you know... but the physical side. I get really cautious about shin injuries now, I'm very hyper-aware of those. I fuuuuckin woooonder whyyyy. Makes sense, right? Because I know how bad those can get, how dangerous they can be, and it was some of the worst pain I've been in in my life. Hands down. Hard to forget that, the body and mind do not want to go through that again.

Now, imagine that shin pain was... emotional pain. Or a reaction to loud noises. Where it like... makes you re-live those traumatic moments, even hypothetically, even... reflexively? Subconsciously? I'm struggling to find good words, like... without your conscious awareness. Like... last night I heard the same bumps and creaks coming from the floor above and I had zero reflexive jumps. I just noticed the sound, went "oh, its the upstairs neighbors" and went back to sleep. But now, since I'm freshly wounded, one pop of a wooden beam and it's like those old doctor's rubber mallets to the nerve in your knee and my whole fucking body jumps and a tiny gnome in my chest cavity throws the "Adrenaline Emergency Release" valve. That's where I've been the past...3 hours? After the crying, frustration and outrage ran its course.

I hate this. And honestly, all I want is someone to just curl up on a mattress with me and hold me and watch some videos or something and just go, "it's okay, it's over now, you're safe." That's all, that is literally heaven to me. But, to be completely blunt, at times like this... I feel like bringing my life into the life of another - aka dating - is like... dropping a giant flaming bag of shit onto their doorstep. It's the answer to pretty much every problem I have, but my... mercy? I don't know, something like that holds me back.

Before I rabbithole on that, I just want to - for the sake of my own therapeutic work that I'm doing right now - label that for what it is. That is me being insecure. I'm gonna go over to my Needs meters again, fuck it. Thank you, video games, for putting psychology into an easily understandable interactive visual medium.

Food - Ate as much buffalo mac and cheese as my tight as a knot stomach could handle (8/10) Water - Watered down all-natural lemonade with stevia, lips finally not chapped after like a full week, pissing clear (9/10) Sleep - Slept beautifully last night, but it is past 1AM so... (3/10, but any other day this week it would've been a 1/10 at this time of night) So, what does that leave? Yep. Confidence. My confidence is shattered. I feel... worthless. Nope, worse. I feel like I'm on fire. I feel like I'm a problem. I feel radioactive. I feel like if I were to make eye-contact with someone in the hallway on my way out to the parking lot, it would make their day worse. And since I can't really identify why that would happen, it's pretty clear this is because of earlier. And, as you could imagine, this creates a pretty vicious cycle... because I don't know anyone up here and having my confidence replenished by others is like... the absolute best remedy for times like this. So, if I'm convinced that I'm just going to make peoples' lives worse, I avoid even commonplace interactions. I never get replenished. Deeper down the spiral I go. I just got out of several years of this cycle, with multiple self-absorbed people. It almost destroyed me. Now I am here, and I'm kinda quaking in my boots. I'm scared I'll meet another one of them. I'm scared that in my desperate loneliness and need for social affection, I'll naively overlook warning signs and become a thrall again. Dark shit, huh?

So, yeah. Not a great night. XD I did go to the grocery store. It was weird and overwhelming. Maybe I should wear a mask just for my own sense of well-being, I have no idea what I should be doing, I haven't been in a city in like over a decade. I considered getting an orchid, I heard they're actually easier to grow than people make them seem and they're absolutely gorgeous, but I decided I wanted to put off my plant purchases until I could go to like an actual nursery place and talk to someone about what I'm looking to do as a beginner. And so they can give me a rundown on what the specific plants' needs are. But I did get a lot of what I was looking for, namely an LED nightlight for my bathroom which is very helpful because the only light in there is synced with a really loud fan.

And I worked on my hoodie a bit and got really good work done. In fact, fucking I don't care about getting to bed at a reasonable hour, I'm so tired of stressing about this shit. I want to get the rest of my work done on this hoodie, I've wanted to work on it for like 5 days now and I only got to work on it for like an hour and a half today. Like... I was in a stupid fight about a fucking car for longer than I got to do work today. Fucking come on. So yeah, I'm gonna put on some chill music and knock out the rest of that, then go get ready for bed.

[marklikely]

i will say when they made valkyrie actually bisexual and then faked out killing her ten business minutes later... like when she got stabbed right thru the chest i almost burst out laughing.

[sebsgirl71479]

Shoot your Shot

Sebastian Stan x Curvy Actress Reader

A/N: My own mood board and watching the Emmys a few weeks ago gave me the inspiration to write this. Also, you're not a dramatic actress like Sebastian you are funny as hell but lack the confidence when it comes to your love life. Another inspiration for this is lizzos absolute bad assness and confidence. Its a tad rushed but I just had to get this out there before my brain malfunctions. After this one is posted I'm working on a Day of the Dead with Bucky.

Y/N POV

“I just want to thank everyone for this wonderful award. The fans of the show, the cast and crew. Oh my gosh this is crazy! And now I'm about to do something so out of my element. Sebastian Stan, you beautiful specimen of a man, oh my god……….”

You're probably wondering how I got here? Well let's see where I should start. How about 12 years ago. I was an up and coming actress and a huge marvel comics fan since childhood. When they released Capitan America: The First Avenger I fell completely in love with Sebastian Stan as Bucky Barnes. From then on I kept following his career before and after the first avenger. After struggling getting acting jobs I finally got a role in Ted Lasso. I proved myself as a comedic actress and here I am at the Emmy Awards with a nomination for best supporting actress in a comedy show.

The day of the show I'm a bit of a nervous wreck, not because I'm nominated but because of who I know will be there, Sebastian Stan. Man did he have one of the best years of his career. The 355, Fresh which was just a masterpiece for modern horror and Pam & Tommy. He immersed himself into Tommy and he got a well deserved nomination. The whole time I'm getting ready I'm trying to psych myself up for what I will do if I do get the award. My team is looking at me like I'm crazy but they don't have to know why I'm constantly talking to myself. 

Once hair and makeup are out of my hotel room I take a look at myself in the full length mirror. Being a curvy girl there aren't many dresses that make me feel good about myself, but this dress i found really has set the bar. A beautiful deep blue dress with a see thru lace top and satin from the waist down with a high slit on my right leg. It was the most beautiful dress I have ever worn. 

When I get the red carpet it is just a madhouse. Cameras everywhere, fans in the distance it's almost overwhelming. But I push my nerves to the back of my head and wait for my turn to head down the carpet…..Ok Y/N you can do this girl.

Sebastian’s POV

I have no idea what is going on, but the one woman I have had my eye on for the past year is getting her well deserved award and she just called me out. What is happening?????

When I got nominated for Pam & Tommy I was very humbled about it. Then I saw the other actors that were nominated for various other shows and that's when I saw it. Y/N- Y/L/N. I thought to myself, I hope I get to meet her and tell how wonderful she is. But I was too shy to really tell her how I really felt about her. How beautiful she was and how I wanted to ask her out. He loved everything about her, especially her curves. 

The day of the awards show came and I was really excited, deciding to take my manager of almost 20 years as my date. They were on their way. When I got to the red carpet I could feel the energy around me, and immediately was looking for Y/N. I was hoping she was already there but no such luck yet. While I was walking down the line getting my picture taken I heard the cheering of the crowd and looked to my left and there she was. 

“Oh my god. She looks absolutely gorgeous” he said under his breath. I was practically speechless, I couldn't hear the photographers shouting for me to take a picture. Finally my manager nudged me to start moving down the line. We got inside and were surprised to see tables like at the golden globes, with champagne and little appetizers. I sat with Lilly, and Seth from Pam & Tommy and as soon as I sat I decided to shoot down a glass of champagne to calm my nerves. My category was up first. I was a little disappointed I didn't get it but I was happy for michael keaton. During the show I kept looking around for Y/N and I finally spotted her just before her category was announced. I watched her the entire time, then they were announcing her award. “Holy shit she won” I stood up and clapped and cheered for her.

I was listening to her speech thanking the show and the fans then all of a sudden I heard my name. I have no idea what is happening but I'm looking right at her………….

Double POV

“I just want to thank everyone for this wonderful award. The fans of the show, the cast and crew. Oh my gosh this is crazy! And now I'm about to do something so out of my element. Sebastian Stan, you beautiful specimen of a man, oh my god, I’m shooting my shot everyone!” 

The crowd is going absolutely nuts, I mean Lizzo is giving the double thumbs up. That's all the courage I needed. 

“Sebastian, will you go on a date with me?!” 

I was almost in shock, I got a pat on the back from Oscar and then I got up from my chair and jumped on stage to get to her. I couldn't believe it, she was asking me out on national television. I had to make a bold statement as soon as I got to her. I walked up to her and she had the biggest smile on her face, just breathtaking. I got up to the microphone and just kept my eyes on her. 

“YES! I will go on a date with you!”

The audience went berserk cheering and clapping. I tuned all of them out when I looked into her eyes, then down to her lips, and almost like she could read my mind she gave a little nod yes and I kissed her. It wasn't rushed, just soft and sweet. I didn't want to give her tongue on live tv. We parted and we just looked at each other, finally we were asked to exit the stage and I followed her backstage. Once we found a quiet area we just started laughing.

“What do we do now?” Sebastian had asked her. As if on cue both of your managers came around the corner, both of them handing you your phones with big smiles on their faces. You both gave each other your phones and put your numbers in them. Just as you were about to be taken away to do a small press conference Sebastian spoke up again. “I don't know which after party you're going to but would you like to join me at the one I'm invited to?” “I would love to, if it's ok with your manager, I know she came as your plus one?” I turn to her and she gives me a reassuring smile and nods her head yes. 

“Ok then, would you like to share my car and driver to get to the party?” she adds. “You can meet me at the back right after the show ends.” Sebastian nods a yes and all of a sudden a PA comes over and whisks you away to speak to the press. 

You and Sebastian head to the Disney after party and the press is  having a field day when you show up hand in hand, It's almost blinding. You both head in and just dance the night away, and a few drinks as well. You end up being introduced to lilly james and seth rogen, Sebastians co stars on Pam & Tommy. Lilly is absolutely beautiful in person and very sweet. Seth is a riot to talk to. 

During a slow song, Sebastian is holding you tight and swaying back and forth looking each other in the eyes. You two are like magnets that can't be torn apart. He leans in and meet him halfway, this time the kiss is more passionate like you’re committing this to memory. He kisses you like he wanted to the first time, you grant his tongue entrance and it’s all over for you. He squeezes your waist and you let out a tiny moan. Your arms snake up his shoulders to hold on to his hair and tug just a little bit. He gives a growl that could rival a lion. You finally part when your brain registers the need to breathe. You both lean on each other's foreheads with huge smiles on your faces. 

“I still can't believe you asked me out on national television.” 

“ I know, I told myself when I got nominated that if I win, this would be my only chance to get your attention.” 

“Well you definitely got my attention. Can I tell you something? I've kind of had a little crush on you and was trying to figure out how to talk to you and ask you out.”

You giggle and hug him tighter. “ I guess we had the same idea tonight.”

You and Sebastian end up staying another hour at the party, but don't want to part. “Do you maybe want to come up to my hotel room? I don't want the night to end. We don't have to do anything, I just want to spend the rest of the night with you and talk and get to know each other.”

“ I would really like that. Would it be ok if we swing by my room so I can change into something more comfortable? As much as I love this dress, but it's not for staying in all night.”

“Yeah that would be ok.”

Sebastian leads you out of the party and to your car. You tell the driver to take you to your hotel first. “The Chateau Marmont please.”

“Hold on, that's where I'm staying as well.”

Smiling at each other, the driver takes off and heads to your hotel.

You both get back to his room after changing and just spend the rest of the night talking, ordering room service and just getting to know each other on a deeper level. Of course every once in a while you have a few heavy makeout sessions. Around 5:30am the night starts to turn to dawn and you are both lying on his bed just staring at each other, Sebastian wraps his arm over you to bring you closer to him and you nuzzle your face in his neck. It doesn't take long for both of you to fall asleep in each other's arms.

“This was probably one of the best nights of my life y/n, and it's all because of you.”

“I’ll have to agree with you on that seb.” After a chaste kiss on the lips you fall to sleep.

Remember, no matter how nervous you get, sometimes shooting your shot works out for both people. Even when you don't even know it.

Shoot your Shot the Sequel --- >

@buckyalpine @altagraye @christycurlswrites

[hornime]

kita being the best brat tamer out there and making sure you behave in public, like one time during a inarizaki reunion he really pulled you to the bathroom and lectured you about your attitude and made you squirt with his fingers in the bathroom counter yes fuck!!!!

AUDACITY | KITA SHINSUKE X F!READER

warnings: 18+, dom!kita, f!reader, brat-taming (doi), daddy kink, fingering, squirting,

a/n: im so sorry this has been sitting in my asks for like a week and i just could not answer it because every time i looked at it my brain malfunctioned WOW

100%, without a doubt, kita is an amazing brat tamer.

not even in the traditional way that he punishes you into submission, more like he’s so good to you that he makes you question why you ever wanted to act up in the first place.

he’s so kind, so understanding, so keen to satisfy you—why would you ever test his patience? what would compel you to do such a thing to the perfect man that has never done you wrong?

guess he’ll have to fuck some sense into you since you apparently can only think with your pussy and not your brain.

he was planning on disciplining you once you got back home from the reunion, but the way you were fawning over his former teammates was making him see red.

if he heard another coo about how strong “tsum-tsum”’s arms looked or how muscled “’jiro”’s thighs seemed, he was positive he’d break his jaw from how harshly he was clenching it.

he might’ve held it together if it weren’t for the way you were so blatantly dismissing him, even daring to say “not right now, shin’”, waving him away while shamelessly tracing the tattoos on suna’s arms.

that was the last straw. 

you wanted attention? you wanted to have an attitude? you wanted to be a bitch to your loving, caring boyfriend? fine. kita could deal with brats like you.

he’d make sure you remembered how kind he was when he was knuckle-deep in your cunt. even if he had to break you.

“are ya happy now? happy that i gotta put you in your place like this?” kita’s voice was practically dripping venom. if your thoughts weren’t so muddled, you’d definitely be shocked at how he sounded: he’d never been this mad at you before. ever.

you could barely manage a few whines; the way his fingers perfectly thrusted in and out of you pushing the air from your lungs. “d-daddy,” you gasped. “’m sorry. ‘m so sorry, i won’t do it again, i s—” you choked on your words as he prodded at your g-spot. “i swear. i promise!”

his thumb brushed over your swollen clit, sending you keening. “i don’t believe ya. ya were so rude, ya know that? pushed me away when i brought ya a drink, told me ya were busy when i got ya yer jacket, said ya liked ‘samu’s cookin’ better than mine... ya got nerve. i’ll give ya that.”

tears were flowing freely down your face now, though you weren’t sure if they were from the guilt pooling in your stomach or the overwhelming pleasure in your cunt. 

“s-sorr—”

“i don’t wanna hear it. ya know what girls with attitudes are?” he scissored his fingers, making you clutch to his biceps, fingers digging helplessly into skin.

he paused, waiting for a response, slapping your thigh when you stared at him blankly, lower lip trembling. you shook your head vigorously, small sobs escaping your mouth. you knew what he was going to say, what he was going to call you. “no, daddy! ‘m not a—”

“bad girls,” he cut you off. “girls with attitudes are bad girls. ya know what that makes ya?” he adjusted his wrist, immediately sending you over the edge. you gushed over his fingers, soaking his forearm with the spray of you cum.

“n-no!” you mumbled, brain running wild from your orgasm, burying your head into his neck. “‘m not bad! ‘m a good girl. your good girl!”

his gaze hardened. “that makes ya a bad girl.” he continued, ignoring your pitiful cries of protest. “and bad girls get punished.”

© property of hornime 2021. do not plagiarize any of my writing and do not repost/copy my writing onto any other sites.

[rezzyromance]

Idk if you like hurt/comfort stuff but this idea has been living in my head rent free for the last week and I just have to tell someone about it. Heisenberg overworks himself and gets sick (idek if that can happen but I don’t care) and the reader goes to take care of him and he just gets so soft because no ones ever cared about him like that before and just 💕💕💕💕💕

Yess I love this!!

Taking care of Heisenberg while he's sick. (Heisenberg x GN! reader)

(Tw: hurt/comfort) He couldn't even focus his eyes on his work anymore. He was surrounded by notebooks filled with notes, ideas, blueprints, and god knows what else. He had been working nonstop for two months trying to perfect a new creation to add to his metal army. But this whole time he's come face to face with failure and malfunction. He was only working on a just a few hours of sleep. Sleep that he had accidentally fallen into. Now, he was hunched over at a desk. Sweaty, shivering, exhausted, and fighting a nasty cough that echoed through the whole factory. It was so loud even you could hear it.

You left him alone to do his work while you spent some alone time with yourself. You were lonely and worried, but he could get pretty irritable when working so you didn't want to interrupt him. You were laying on the bed that you two usually shared, attempting to take a nap, but the loud echo of Karl coughing his lungs out kept you up. "That's it.", you groan to yourself as you stand up and make your way to his office.

Once you made your way to his office and opened the door, you were greeted with an ugly sight. He had his elbows on his desk with his face in his palms. His hair was matted and greasy and his skin was pale and covered with a sheen of sweat. "What do you want?", he asks with hoarse and weak voice. "Oh Karl..", you're shocked at the state he's in. You walk over to him and take a look at his desk. There were scattered pieces of paper, some were balled up. "I'm working.", he said in a blunt tone. "No you're not. Karl you're in no shape to work right now... this last journal passage doesn't even make sense!", you point at his journal. He had written an entry, but the words slowly became scribbling messes that vaguely resembled letters.

"When's the last time you slept? Or showered? Or had something to ea-" "Did you come in here just to talk shit?" he cut you off before you could finish. "Karl I'm worried. I didn't want to interrupt you but I heard your coughing and.... you really need to rest. I love you and I don't like seeing you like this. You can't even work like this." He was silent until he started coughing again. It was a really nasty cough and when he was done he gave a deep sigh. "You're sick Karl. C'mon.", you started gently rubbing your back. The feeling sent tingles through his feverish body. "Let's get you cleaned up, get you something to eat and drink, and then you can get some real sleep.", you tried to persuade him. He was quiet again. "..fine", he said before he started to stand. His legs were shaky and his vision blurred. You grabbed his arm, scared of him falling. "I'm okay.", he says as he places his hand on yours. You then began to walk with him as he stumbled to the bathroom.

You started to fill the tub with warm water. "I can bathe myself.", he says after coughing again. "You're weak Heisy. Just let me take care of you okay? I wanna make sure you're okay." He didn't fight your words. Once the tub was filled, he began to strip. You took his dirty clothes from the floor and took them to the laundry room, setting them to the side to clean later. When you came back to the bathroom, you saw him laying down in the tub, nearly asleep. "Don't drown on me.", you joke as you grab a rag. His eyes opened at the sound of your voice. You soaked the rag in warm water and began to rub his forehead with it. His brow furrowed at the sudden sensation. "You don't have to do this.", he says, worried that he's become a burden. "I know. But I want to.", you continued to gently rub his face. Next came his hair which you wet by gently pouring water from a bucket. Then, you started shampooing his hair, massaging his scalp in the process. He felt like he was melting under your finger tips. His sickness mixed with the heat from the water made his brain feel foggy, and your touch made it all feel like heaven. He still didn't understand WHY you wanted to care for him. He opened his eyes and gazed into yours, the question still lingering in his head. You responded with a warm smile and a kiss on his forehead.

After the bath, you brought him some new, fresh clothing. "Come on. You're laying down and nothing's gonna change that.", you begin to lead him to the bedroom, taking a towel with you. "Yes ma'am.", he says as both a joke and not. Once he sat up in the bed, you straddled his lap and began to gently dry his hair with the towel. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you closer, resting his face on your stomach as you continue to dry his hair. Once you're done, you cast the towel to the side and hold each side of his face in your hands. "Am I gonna make it, doc?" he says with a cheeky grin. Finally, he started to look more like himself. "I'll do my best. I'm gonna go fix up some soup. Don't die while I'm gone.", you say as you hop off the bed and make your way out of the room.

He had gotten comfortable under the covers while you were fixing some food. He stared up at the ceiling, a million thoughts racing at once. "Why are they taking care of me? Why are they putting in this much effort? " There was only one answer. One answer that was so overwhelming. No one was there for him like this before. No one went out of their way to make sure he was okay, especially dealing with his stubbornness before hand. His eyes began to burn as tears started to form. He immediately began rubbing his eyes, refusing to let himself be anymore vulnerable than he already is.

You made your way back to the room with a tray that helped you carry a bowl of soup and a glass of water. "I hope it's good. I don't cook often but I tried my best.", you say before handing the tray over to him. "You're spoiling me, buttercup.", he says as he takes you by the hand. He wasn't sure of what he was doing. He just wanted to holding your hand for a second. "Spoiling you? I'm making sure you don't work yourself to death. You've already managed to make yourself sick." He laughs quietly which triggers another cough. He sat up and started to enjoy his meal while you sat beside him, resting your chin on his shoulder. You could feel his body still shivering, but not as bad as before. "Please don't ever do that again.. I mean I understand how important your work is, but I don't want to see you get hurt. You need to take care of yourself. You're important Heisy. And I love you.", Your words made him freeze. He didn't know what to do or what to say. He took a deep breath and swallowed his pride for a second. "I love you too.", his words were quiet but genuine. You knew he wouldn't like it if you made a big deal out of it, so you didn't. Instead, you smile and give him a soft kiss on his cheek. He knew you loved him. It took him until now to truly believe it, but now he knew.

[rivendellsstuff]

𝐂𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞.

𝐂𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 | ❝Slowly, she was collapsed and sheathed inside his heart — and that was the beginning and the end of everything for Levi Ackerman.❞

𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2590;

𝐃𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫: Mentions of canon-typical violence. Inspired by Arwen Undómiel's speech in “The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of The Ring'' and the song ''Can’t help falling in love'' by Elvis.

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: Hi! English is not my native language, so if you spot a misspelled word or anything else, feel free to let me know. I plan to look for someone to help me with proofreading because I feel like I leave a lot behind. I hope I can find help to continue publishing these short stories!

────── ▎Levi Ackerman still remembers the feeling when he realized that he loved her.

He knew, he simply knew, that nothing would ever be the same again. This love came suddenly, without warning, and was born inside him in silence, destroying all the countless walls he had built over the years.

The rational and critical part of his brain is always trying to convince him to drown that feeling because nothing good can result from love in those days. So, for a long time, Levi tried to act as if it didn't hurt — how bad hiding what he felt hurt his mind. The fact was: he always lost the people he loved. The fear of losing another person, of seeing them turn into a memory, never terrified him as much as it did now. He didn't want to lose her too.

So, he wonders what the hell he should do. Over the past few months, Levi has always kept her back and that was the nature of their relationship. Levi's understanding of her had always been instinctive, based on a single fact: they were perfect opposites and, in a way, perfect counterweights. But then, he looked at her in a million different ways and loved her in each of them — as a soldier, as a partner, as a friend, as a lover.

Suddenly, humanity's strongest soldier, the one who had brought down countless titans and people who performed evil deeds beyond human comprehension, was unarmed and vulnerable. Slowly, she was collapsed and sheathed inside his heart — and that was the beginning and the end of everything for Levi Ackerman.

The first time Levi Ackerman realized how much he loved her occurred the night before the operation to retake Wall Maria. It was evening, and it was raining - a fine, murmuring autumnal drizzle. The weather was comfortable. Not so hot and not so cold, but just right. Even so, Levi Ackerman was not feeling well. His body was begging for rest and his mind for comfort, but he could not afford to lie down like everyone else. In the stillness, his thoughts were constantly interrupted by the image of the soldiers and friends he had lost over the years, thrown to the ground and covered in his own blood, and this made Levi feel dizzy and sick.

His shoulders were down, his head hung down, and his body was slightly bent over the documents on his desk. Beside him was a long-empty cup of tea. It was the shadow of the great Levi Ackerman. It was simpler than humanity's strongest soldier, but at the same time it was empty and incomplete. Ironic. He had always boasted of being cool, of not caring about trivialities, and of keeping himself intact as a captain, and now he was nothing but a decaying shadow of the infamous Levi Ackerman.

And so, the first few hours of that night passed. So much was happening all at once. He ran his hand through his hair, trying to clear his mind and stand firm, as he always should.

He sighed. Levi left the pile of documents meticulously organized on the table, picked up the empty cup, and stood up. His eyes grew accustomed easily to the darkness, the only sound was of an old clock at the end of the hall and his footsteps on the old linoleum floor.

「flashback」

Levi liked to think he lived long enough to understand that one can never escape his true nature. Such is Historia's destiny, and she is finally crowned as Queen before a large and enthusiastic crowd. The people remember seeing the Queen protect them from a Titan and admire her for standing up to her father.

A smart move, Levi thought.

Standing next to Erwin and Hange, he thinks of his mother. Of Isabel, who cannot be the heroine she was meant to be. He thinks of Furlan and his resilience. He thinks of all the people he has lost over the years, especially those who failed to become what they were meant to be.

''Hey'', Mikasa's voice was low, but it was enough to get the captain's attention.

Up to that point, Levi had not greeted any of his squadron members, although he knew that many were with unasked questions hanging on their tongues. Political issues occupied most of his time. The words were not spoken, but duly were there, at some point; all praise and words of gratitude for his team.

And Levi looked at her, grave tenderness in his eyes turned to Mikasa, and yet, even if she had not been raised among men of war, she was someone many could not overcome in battle. She approached the girl with hair as black as raven wings and whispered something in her ear, to which Mikasa thanked her with a small smile. In those days, it was rare to see anyone smile.

Her dress, which was a deep green with white flower embroidery and golden arabesques on the sleeves, shimmered in the faint wind that afternoon. Levi thinks that she looks so beautiful with the sunlight in her hair.

He interrupts his thought suddenly, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

And, as if sensing that she is being watched, she raises her eyes from Mikasa to the captain. He thinks that she is going to raise one of her eyebrows or simply keep the conversation with Mikasa. But then she did something that surprised him even more. She smiled. At him.

He feels his cheeks burn.

''You are staring, shorty'', said Hange, amused, following his gaze.

''Tch, shut up.''

It was just a smile, but Levi couldn't forget it for the rest of the ceremony.

He thought that the true beauty of the place belonged to her.

「 flashback's end」

Damn, he thinks. That smile.

The smell of tea berries and wet earth overwhelm him. Outside, the rain was falling hard as he brewed another cup of tea. He sipped the warm, clear liquid, allowing the noise made by his lips as he sucked the drink to ring out loud. He smiled, amazed that she didn't like the drink. This was the first more human demonstration he had had in a long, long time.

It was during a sleepless night like that, months ago, when they could finally be in each other's presence, just them. It was... easy to talk. Maybe it was because of the tea, the sound of her laughter, or none of those two things. Maybe just her and her way of looking beyond him as nothing but.... Levi. Just Levi.

Levi grew up poor and alone in a place where he was taught to hate every bit of it with a burning passion, he understands a thing or two about injustice and hate even before Kenny decides to teach him how to fight. He loved his mother with every fiber of his being. He loved his friends. When they died, Levi felt like he was dying with them; but that feeling? It was a different kind of love. He had never loved anything, or anyone like her.

Get out of my head, woman.

He took a deep breath and decided to put those thoughts aside once again. After finishing the tea, he put the cup away and headed back to his room.

He stopped himself momentarily when he noticed the door ajar on his right.

And there she was, dressed in a silver and blue dress, in a polished wooden chair by the window, whose light westerly wind blew through and made her hair flutter. To him, it seemed that starlight was in her eyes.

Levi was silent for a second and then sighed. There was nothing to be said now that they were there, preparing to reclaim the lost lands and waiting for answers.

But when she let out a deep sigh of pain, he slammed his knuckles against the door. She raised her eyes to him, feeling her throat go dry, and immediately leaned back, pulling her eyebrows together in confusion.

''Captain,'' she said, but signs of weariness and pain could not be hidden in her gently voice.

"Are you hurt?" asked the superior, taking her by surprise.

"Except for a few bruises, I'm fine'', She said, gesturing for him to come in. "Can't sleep?"

Levi studied her from top to bottom, paying attention to her body language and any sign of injury. There were two scars on her hands. She tried to cover them with the sleeve of her dress.

''I rarely get any sleep, so the person who should be asking this question is me,'' he said, and although he was glad to see her, worry ran through his chest.

She smiled.

"Fair enough''

Frustration tightened his voice a bit, but she thought it was incredibly appealing when he said: ''You never respond the way people expect you to.''

Levi approached and stopped beside the window. The beautiful weather and the calm seemed a mere mockery to the men before the most dreadful mission of their lives.

"I'm sorry," she says sincerely. ''Just a stupid accident during training...and I can't sleep,'' she admitted. ''Nightmares. They've been recurring since we faced the female titan. I think my brain is malfunctioning.''

''It's ok you have hard times.''

She took a deep breath and then inhaled slowly. It had been a long time since they had shared moments like that; and she had always loved his company infinitely, even though she had never shown it in words.

The thoughts began to surge like a burst of fireworks, making loud noises, disappearing and reappearing. Instinctively, she pressed one hand against the other, but the twinge of pain almost made her curse. He didn't miss that.

''You should bandage this to prevent an infection'' he says.

She let her hands slide to the sides of her body.

''Yeah, you're probably right.''

"Do you have any medical kits around here?''

Her expression wavers for a while, as if she is thinking about it. Then she turns and opens one of the bags left beside the bed. Levi has approached her as she begins to rummage through the material.

''Here, let me do that,'' he said.

「flashback」

The horses pranced and neighed, startled, when a group of titans was spotted. The maneuvering equipment tinkled as the wires were released. The sight of those creatures was terrifying, but the battlefield had already become a part of their lives, and Survey Corps was willing to fight.

Above, a sunless sky, muffled by heavy clouds. Levi could hear roars and screams all around, the sharp, distinctive thud of the clash of blades against the back of the titans' heads. There were bloodied bodies, some without limbs and with pieces strewn across the surrounding ground.

Then, time seemed to freeze.

The titan's giant hand withdrew and a terrible howl resound across the battlefield.

The titan screamed again, but the fury of the guttural howl was nothing compared to what the captain felt as he investigated the still face of (Y/N). For the hundredth of a second it took his mind to assimilate the events, Levi was struck by horror. He stood motionless; he simply found himself gripping the blades and looking at her. Suddenly, his muscles were contracted by the urgency, the will, the urge to hurt him. This wild need, echoing in his ears like a broken record, obscured his mind.

With an immense bang, several blows struck the titan.

As the creature felt motionless to the ground, Levi ran to it, whose face was as white as a lobelia and as cold as frost.

He didn't know how deeply he was entwined with her until they tried to take her away from him

「 flashback's end」

Levi listened attentively to everything she said, as she was also attentive to the gentle, careful way in which he touched her.

''I hope you won't use this to bribe me, Ackerman.''

He rolls his eyes.

''Maybe I'll take Sasha's food and say it was you.''

''That's the biggest threat I've ever heard in my entire life,'' she says eventually.

A strange flutter in his stomach threatened a smile on his face.

"Maybe it makes you let to be a brat"

She takes a long breath.

"I'll let her kill me and then you'll be sorry"

"Don't be so dramatic", he says. "By the way, I'll never let anyone hurt you as long I live."

She is speechless. Her heart starts to beat faster than she thought it could, and all her body was filled with a so good feel. She couldn't explain exactly what is, but there was anyway.

Levi doesn't look at her face again. And then, the silence was back once again.

It was a difficult operation for the Captain; he touches her skin, heard her voice so close and quietly to him.

"It's done", Levi says.

She follows his eyes and saw her own hands. He still was holding them.

"I appreciate that."

He looks at her.

You're so fucking beautiful.

Levi runs his thumb over her fingers tenderly.

A crow screams at the top of its lungs in the distance, and she almost cringes. Levi ignores him and, longing for her starry eyes again, brings her hand to his lips and places a soft kiss on his skin.

"Are you afraid?" she whispers. Levi could feel the goosebumps that her touch gave him. ''Sometimes, I feel as if we are going to discover something eviler than the titans themselves.''

The wind blows angrily, making her hair fly.

''There are few things that make me afraid. This is not one of them.''

Losing you is, he thinks.

Inside his chest, the sound of his racing heartbeat is loud enough for him to hear. His heart pulses melodiously, pumping blood and sending some to his cheeks.

"Besides, this must be the first time I've heard you say you're afraid," he says, braiding invisible lines on the back of his hands. "Maybe you're sick. Let's examine it before it devours your brain entirely.

"I can't tell if you're joking or not."

He laughs lightly, and she thinks how nice it is when he does that. Levi's face is always so stern, so cold when they are around others. It's like it's a secret that only she knows.

Suddenly, Levi thinks about what it would feel like to kiss her.

"You should try to rest now", he whispers, looking away.

He starts to walk to the door.

It was in this exact moment he wished to have been able to tell her all those things in his mind.

"Wait!"

He turns back to her.

"What is?"

While Levi said, she holds his cheeks with her palms.

"Stay", she whispers. "Just a little longer"

Levi feels his heart beating faster than he thought it could, and all of his body was filled with that desire again.

Their lips touch in a chaste and last kiss for barely a second.

Levi holds her hands close to his heart. His tongue traces her bottom lips, brushes against the edge of her teeth before mingling with hers. It was kind, as it could say all those things on his heart.

When their lips step back, he says: "For as long as you wish"

[sans-underfell]

okay, phucker, do it

ok let's do this @rolli-zolli @ninikins

Horrortale: technically an alternate timeline instead of au. after a neutral run where undyne's queen the core malfunctions and food becomes scarce and people resort to eating humans because sans suggested it. Aliza is the protag. latest thing that happened in the ongoing comic was Aliza agreeing to go with Papyrus to solve his last puzzle. as for the appearance of sans he has a HUGE hole on his head and a red eye. he got the hole from undyne when she got his magic eye which was going to be used to power the core. sans didnt die tho and killed the guards holding him down and just took whatever eye was on the ground and used it as a replacement for his magic eye that's powering the core. i quote first words he said after putting the eye in his socket "who the fuck took my phone?". then the magic eye went apeshit and broke the core again. oh and also he made alphys braindead by quite literally scrambling her brain. yeah this au is rough sans hasn't really eaten anything since the core was destroyed since he decided not to eat any humans.

Dusttale: i think this was originally a korean au? basic rundown: too many genocide runs sans goes apeshit and tries to get his Lv up by killing monsters himself man went fuckin insane kills his brother blah blah blah edgy angsty au the ghost of papyrus haunts him n stuff. sans literally just looks the same except he has his hood on and sometimes artists draw him with papyrus's scarf. the cool artists draw him with his hood on and has the hood completely cover his face so u can only see his glowing pupils. although people call him dust sans he's actually named murder sans

Killer: so frickin similar to dusttale except sans goes apeshit because of the human being like "join me lmao". three different outcomes come from this. i think it was 1 sans joins human 2 sans joins human kills human later on 3 kills human or something. friends with color sans who is basically his impulse control. pretty sure his soul's fucked up and Color sans tries to make his soul un-fucked but Nightmare comes in and fucks up the progress. he has white shorts, his eye sockets are constantly pitch black and leaking tar or something also has a weird target thingy on his chest. OH YEAH ALSO HE HAS BEEF WITH UNDERSWAP SANS ALMOST FORGOT. basically swap sans tried to make killer good and then they had a fight, swap sans lost and was on the verge of dying thankfully swap papyrus was able to save him in time i think

Dreamtale: Dream isn't in the drawing but his brother, Nightmare is. Sooo he used to not look all goooy and have tentacles n stuff but then he ate a couple hundred apples and yeah. he's six years old apparently. Nightmare and Dream are supposed to be guardians of a tree that has 500 golden apples and 500 black n goopy apples. the golden aples are positive and the goop ones are negative. you're not supposed to eat either of them cus bad shit happens. Dream and Nightmare live in a village and for whatever reason they're all dicks to Nightmare because ooughh he's the guardian of negativity that's not baller. he also goes apeshit (do u see a pattern here) and eats a goopy apple n then becomes the goop man he is today. he fuckin eats 999 apples jesus christ. and the last one is eaten by Dream because if u eat all 1000 apples u become unstoppable and immortal. so that would be a bad thing if nightmare got the last one. wop wop wop these dude aren't sanses they only have the body of one if that makes sanse.

Error: manlet. he's literally an error and that's why he's like that. also he's technically not a sans now, the redesign for him was so that he could be in the creator's webcomic named Lucidia. Error sans, aka the destroyer of aus, finds aus to be mistakes so he tries to get rid of them. his process of doing this is simple: get the human soul to the void so that they can't reset, destroy the au. he primarily attacks using his strings which can wrap around one's soul and control them. he like some aus like outertale because of how open and empty it is. he likes to be alone and has haphephobia. if u touch him he'll glitch out and possibly crash. he crashes whenever gets overwhelmed. said crashing causes him to shut down and reboot and he's powerless while doing so. he's actually pretty easy to beat if you know how to push his buttons the right way. in the og ask error blog made by his creator Loverofpiggies he kidnaps Swap sans who tries to help Error become a better person. this ends horribly as error leaves Swap sans in the void who then becomes an error aswell due to being alone in the void too long. Error actually regrets doing that to swap sans

Aftertale: OK FUN FACT THE SANS OF THIS AU, WHO'S NICKNAMED "Geno" IS ERROR. aftertale is a comic made by LoverofPiggies it's been SOOOO long since i last read it so i cant really give a good summary. but anyways Geno is trapped in the loading screen with the human and will die if he leaves the loading screen. eventually from being in the loading screen for too long after the events of aftertale he becomes Error.

OOF WOWIE THERE'S SO MUCH TO GO

Underfresh: he's not even a sans either. "Fresh" is a parasite inhabiting a skeleton. his birthday is on 4/20 which is ironic cus he doesn't like drugs. he censors swears. he speaks 90's lingo and dresses like a neon sign. for some reason he has eyebrows and a gold tooth. the glasses he has can change text but normally defaults to "YOLO". he can't feel anything since he has no soul of his own and just latches onto the host's. instead he learns how to act from the people around him. not being able to feel actually bothers him a LOT

Echotale: Aka Gaster sans. uhhh this one was also a comic if i remember correctly. basically Frisk and G!Sans are the only ones in the au and they're trying to find the core to fix the fucked up timeline that they're in but the core keeps changing positions so that sucks.

Swapfell: originally made by Khhoppang who left social media. Started out as an Alphys x Undyne au so only those two were designed but Kh was planning to design more of the characters. before they could people had a field day with the idea of mashing two aus together and SO many people came up with their own designs for sans and papyrus. Khhoppang left social media because they got overwhelmed with all the art reposters and stuff, pretty sad. the appearance of the sans in that au is the purple one with a scythe (i dont think he has a scythe in the og design).

Swapfell Red: so basically this is the swapfell made by people that isn't Khhoppang. community made per se. Sans's appearance changes constantly because as said before many people made many different designs. typically he just looks like Swap sans but with red high heel boots and his color scheme fits underfell

Fellswap (gold): Au made by blackggggum. so swapfell is underswap turned fell, fell swap is underfell swapped it takes a bit to understand that. his appearance is somewhat similar to Swapfell red. He's kind to his friends but if ur his enemy he'll fucking deck you. he's blind in his left eye, the leader of the royal guard, and secretly into dressmaking. fun fact in this au Papyrus has autism

Xtale: uuuuhhhh so Cross is a complicated one. he's part of the royal guard along with papyrus. has beef with xgaster. responsible for the downfall of his au and then Underverse happens and Ink is all "oh cool someone to mess with" and they became friends for a bit then shit hit the fan

Underfell: OOOOO YES UNIRONICALLY ONE OF MY FAVORITES. So Underfell sans is actually a very powerful mf and constantly has his magic eye activated because he has so much magic. This au is also technically an alternate timeline where monsters "lost their humanity" as the creator put it. so basically trust in the underground is scarce. Sans and papyrus, contrary to many interpretations i fucking hate, are actually on good terms (and no sans doesn't call papyrus "boss" the creator said if he does he'd do it ironically and papyrus would hate it). Fun facts he pays Grillby in socks (grillby accepts the socks as payment and wears them), if u make grillby laugh he gives u a jacket that looks like his and it's heavily implied that sans made him laugh because their jackets are similar

Underswap: ah yes another classic that i love as well. originally made by PopcornPr1nce who fled social media because they hated how the majority fandom treated Underswap (Blueberry and Carrot were popular names for the fanon swap papyrus and sans). Swap sans is constantly infantilized by the community which sucks and i hate it so i draw my own very super cool version of him whom i kin because i am also very super cool.

Outertale: mainly an aesthetic au pretty sure there's no comic of it. basically, instead of underground they in space. outer sans dies in underverse after like minutes of screentime lmao

Epictale: a comic made by Yugogeer. the og comic was retconned and the creator loathes the original version and made a reboot that's much better. Sans actually dies very early in it because Yugo hates how Sans is almost always focused on in aus. also the creator hates how meme-y their sans has become (like him saying bruh every single sentence, using a rubber chicken as a weapon, cookies, etc.) he's friends with Cross but not in canon. He has a purple magic eye that makes him immortal and i think only epic gaster could remove it which is how sans was able to be killed when he fought gaster.

Temmietale: it's undertale but everyone is temmie, don't question it

Trainertale: it's undertale but it's Pokemon, don't question it

Dancetale: it's undertale but you dance instead of fight, don't

Mobtale/Mafiatale: im unsure if mobtale and mafiatale are separate or not but they are very similar. basically undertale but mafia it's self explanatory

Undertale: no clue which au is this one, nope not at all/j

Bittytale or whatever idk: so take sans, make him small. boom. never understood this au

THAT BASTARD INK: HOOO BOY SAVED THE WORST FOR LAST. FUCK THIS GUY/j. THIS DUDE. IS THE REASON IM STILL INTO UNDERTALE AUS. I LOVE EM SO MUCH. also technically not a sans. He comes from an unfinished au and ripped his own soul to escape said au and became an outcode. for so long he was just a soulless husk until someone drew him and he got splashed with paint which let him feel. soon he learned to keep the paint in vials so that he can be able to feel 24/7. And then he learned how to create things with a paintbrush and the paint and spent time alone drawing up his own world until a portal appeared and took him to the multiverse. now he encourages artists to keep creating aus. he's the protector of aus in the sense that he keeps other outcodes from disrupting the script of the au, so if it's pacifist and an outcode tries to kill people he'd stop them, if it's genocide and an outcode tried to help them he'd stop them. no matter what he wants the au to stay on script. fun fact the creator of ink and the creator of error never had them interact with each other in canon, that was all the fandom's doing. Contrary to popular belief he's not really considered "good" his alignment is officially "Chaotic neutral". I personally interpret him a lot more chaotic than in canon because it's fun but he's a pretty chill guy actually. he can just be a bit of an ass sometimes. According to the creator of Ink (who is Comyet) his interpretation in Underverse is not canon compliant. one of the biggest canon things that underverse contradicts is Ink deliberately not taking his vials. if he were to do that in canon he'd become a husk again which is the equivalent of him "dying". he was described as a walking corpse by Comyet, without the vials he can't function anymore. Like Error he's pretty easy to beat if you know his weaknesses. also he has fears of empty spaces and being alone

off topic kinda but i very much love how Error and Ink are opposites yet parallel even though they were completely written without the other in mind. Error believes getting rid of aus is getting rid of anomalies. Ink believes people interfering with aus are anomalies. Error loves emptiness, Ink hates emptiness. list goes on it's funky fresh.

also uhhh sanses missing from that drawing that i can name from the top of my head

Seraphim sans, Insans, Dusttrust, He who shall not be named because he's from an 18+ au, Swapswap (yes. that exists), Storyshift, Inverted Fate (very good au i suggest checking it out), Negatale, Oceantale, Template, Pale, Mafiafell, Farmtale

my phone is at 9% y'all are spared from me going on

[chocolate-parfait]

can I suggest a headcanon for arthur, theo and comte ( or dazai ) reacting to their selectively mute s/o speaking for the first time? ( maybe even singing? ) you can decide if you want a scenario for one of them and what mc sounds like, wether shes soft spoken or has a mature voice~ whatever you feel comfortable with >:0 👌 — have a nice day ! ♡

I made some research to write this but tell me if anything's inaccurate or wrong! I'll fix it right away

Selectively mute MC - ikevamp headcanons (Arthur, Theo & Comte)

Arthur

Arthur's a bit suspicious when he sees how uncomfortable you seem to be on your first night. No normal person would feel completely at ease, that's for sure, and yet the way your gaze flickers around the room, the way you fidget with your own hands, the look of pure anxiety on your pretty features, they're all blatant red flags for him, though he decides to let you be. It's your first night, after all, for all he knows you could just be terribly shy, right?

He started piecing the signs together after a couple days when your voice was yet to be heard. The only thing they knew was your name, which you wrote on a piece of paper after Vincent's many soft encouragements.

The English writer had tried flirting with you a couple times, but after being met with the same indicators of discomfort as night one, he decided to step back and watch from the sidelines, occasionally helping others translate whatever you were trying to tell them with your body language.

Selective mutism had been diagnosed around 1870 for the first time, and although it was still a relatively new medical condition, he still was a couple decades more experienced when it came to medicine. After realizing that was your case, he moved to inform everyone in the mansion so that they could adjust their behaviors and avoid causing you too much distress.

Eventually Arthur becomes the person you spend most time with in the whole house; you can feel he genuinely cares and, despite the voices you had heard about his incorrigible attitudes and questionable habits, you start appreciating all the efforts he puts into making sure you're always comfortable and understood (his efforts were very much succeeding, by the way).

On one particular night, you decided to bring some coffee to his room, a silent gesture of support in his regards, but once you entered the bedroom, he turned to look you in the eyes and you saw his beautiful blue orbs, usually alight with mischief, now dark and wavering, surrounded by puffy, red skin. He had been crying. Despite all his best efforts to hide it, everyone knew the writer had his own ghosts from the past haunting him, but seeing him so wretched and broken made your heart squeeze in sympathy and pity.

Seeing your worried expression Arthur immediately turned the other way, letting out a self deprecating laugh as he thought this was probably not helping with your case at all. "Ah- D-don't worry about me! I just got some dust in my eyes. Clumsy old me-!" You set down the tray on his desk and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"A-arthur, you can tell me. I'm here for you."

His heart almost flew out of his chest as his wide eyes stared at you in disbelief. He abruptly stood up and had to stop himself from hugging you and twirling you around, grabbing your shoulders instead. "MC, you just spoke right now, didn't you?!". He was so shocked he completely forgot about his troubles and spent minutes fawning over you. He didn't realize he was coming off as too strong until he noticed your voice getting quieter and quieter. He then apologized and took a moment to cool himself off.

From then on, your relationship goes through revolutionary changes as he finally gets to learn more about your past, tastes and personality. Each little detail makes him more and more interested in what had been a complete mystery to everyone for days. As the writer of Sherlock Holmes he certainly couldn't let this one chance fly out of the window now, could he?

If his brain malfunctioned when he heard your voice for the first time, it is pretty accurate to say that he almost passed away for the second time when he heard your laugh! It's the best and most effective antidepressant he's tried in a long time, and the more open you become, the more the look in your eyes starts to brighten up, a worthy rival to the breathtaking smile that graces your lips every now and then.

Your voice is sweet, calm and soft, and Arthur feels as if he's floating on a cloud whenever he hears it. It isn't loud, either, making everything you say seem like the most intimate secret one could whisper to a close friend. On the other hand, your laugh is like the clear and light tinkling of a bell. Each time you let out even the smallest of chuckles his cheeks flush with a rosy blush, earning him stares and teasing remarks from the closest fellow vampire in the room.

Slowly, he starts to see his reactions for what they are: sprouts of a new love. As time passes by, he realizes he wants to hear more and more of your voice. He wants to hear you whimper his name lost in overwhelming pleasure, he wants to hear all the sweet nothings and declarations of love you can offer him, comforting words, even gibberish and dark secrets. Everything that comes out of your mouth is like molten gold to him, and he wants it all to himself.

He starts bragging to others, though it does not take long before you're comfortable enough to grace them with the sound of what Arthur has come to love so much. On one side he's jealous because you've denied him the privilege of being the only one to hear your voice, but at the same time he's also extremely proud of you! You're finally happy and there's no more traces of anxiety and worry in your eyes whenever you're surrounded by the other vampires, and that's one of the most important milestones he's honored have witnessed by your side.

Theo

Let's just say that you and theo start off on the wrong foot. To say that you're frightened of him at first is an understatement, and you very much avoid him for as much as you can. He feels guilt strangling his throat whenever he sees your quivering form running away from him, and after noting that you behaved similarly with everyone and still hadn't uttered a word in days made him worry even more.

Arthur's the one who comes up with a diagnosis, and with that everyone changes their manners and speech to make you feel more at ease. Theo, just like his blue haired friend, is actually pretty good at reading body language so he has no particular struggles when it comes to your needs. Unfortunately, he's not so smooth in regulating his tone and words, which often come out a little to harsh. Vincent often reprimands him for it, and he can't help but feel even worse when he realizes he's probably ruining your whole stay.

He starts distancing himself, and you gradually start sticking by the local angel's side, never leaving him for even a second; his vibes are so pure and soothing that they help you out with your anxiety and symptoms. Needless to say, he's also very understanding and is not at all bothered to speak in your stead. This leads to Vincent being the first one to hear your voice, and he's without doubt elated, but he also wishes for you to be able to socialize with the others, too. Theo in particular.

After days and days of the artist's endless rants on how good his little brother actually is, your image of the gruff man has been replaced by that of a soft hearted puppy. Too bad that this soft puppy looks like a hungry hunt dog more than a small, soft cloud of love.

Ironically enough, what brings you and Theo to a new stage of your basically nonexistent relationship is King. In the dog's presence he lets his guards down and turns into a loving owner of a very good and friendly golden nugget, subsequently becoming more approachable. Besides, everyone knows how helpful animals are in fighting anxiety and social disorders! And on the advice of Arthur, he invites you to his daily walk with his dog, hoping your fear will melt away with time.

He's a stubborn man, and even when such delicate issues come his way, he has no intention of giving up. No matter how much time it'll take him, he believes he's going to convince you he's not that bad as you first thought. Why is he trying so hard though? Well, not only it's something that stems from Vincent's care for you, but it's also something for your own good. If you were to avoid him for a whole month, you'd get nothing out of it, and a constant lingering sense of panic would follow you pretty much anywhere; but living for a whole month in those conditions is a no-no for Theo. He has no intention of uselessly make you suffer like that, and as he reminds himself of that, his willpower strengthens his determination to search for a common ground between you two.

Albeit slowly, you start getting less tense around him, and the fright fades away bit by bit with each walk in the woods with the Dutch art dealer and the excited bundle of golden hair. It's a lengthy process that takes many days, but Theo finally knows his efforts aren't vain when he hears you coo at the golden retriever. "King... you're such a good boy.." You say with with the warmest smile he had ever seen painted on someone's face as you patted his canine friend's head lovingly. In that moment he wished he could frame the scene and hang it up in his room next to his brother's paintings.

He didn't know whether it was the emotion of hearing your voice for the first time or the implications that told him you weren't that scared of him anymore, but he became hyper aware that his wasn't a normal heartbeat. Unsteady and crazy like that of a lovestruck fool. Was this all it took him to fall head over heels for someone? Or was this a process that had started way before?

It still takes you some time to be fully able to speak complete sentences in his presence, but once you do, he's overcome with one of the greatest feelings of satisfaction he had ever felt in his two lives, and he can definitely agree that everything was worth the wait and the labour.

Just like Arthur, your laugh almost makes him fly through the roof, but what turns him into a formless puddle of mushy feelings and amazement is your singing voice. The first time he hears you intone a medley to him he turns to stone and just stays there, unmoving. He has an eye for finding hidden talents, but oh God was your singing unexpected. His feeling may be out of place here, but he's so, so glad to have your singing all to himself. He finds the act extremely intimate, and for how much he may believe he doesn't deserve it, he cannot deny the positive effects it has on him

Sometimes, when you're talking to him, you can see him turn his face away and smile to himself like an idiot. In those times, he's thinking about how far you two came, and how glad he is to have persisted as much as he did.

Comte

Comte emanates a slightly threatening and imposing aura but it can also be calm and placid, like his voice. First and foremost he's a gentleman, but he sometimes comes off as very intimidating to those who are not used being around such strong presences like his. Luckily, he's a very patient man, and you can feel no judgement nor malice coming from him. He's lived a long, long life, and he knows better than overstepping people's boundaries and making fun of their insecurities.

When with him, you can do things at your own pace! If you don't feel like talking then he's totally okay with it; take your time to find your own way and pace of doing things, he'll gladly help if you ever ask him (with gestures or, once you're closer, with words).

The panic you feel in his presence dissolves gradually; there are no particular events that cause a turning point in your relationship, it just happens. Despite living in such a big mansion, avoiding all life forms is pretty much impossible, so you happen to share some interactions every now and then. Sometimes it's an afternoon tea, others it's just him making small talk as you clean his room (he's either talking to himself or asks answers you can nod to if you feel more comfortable). He immediately makes it clear that he doesn't expect nor want to pressure you in delivering any answer, and if you ever happen to feel too overwhelmed he excuses himself and leaves the room.

One day as you were dusting the shelves in his office, he casually says:"The weather's really nice today." But your head doesn't move in assent, instead he receives a shocking reply despite the ordinariness of the topic. "It really is... T-there's not a cloud in the sky, either." A shocked expression momentarily appears on his features, soon replaced by a wide smile as he hums back in agreement.

He doesn't let it show but he's utterly in love with your voice. It's an addiction but he still wants to give you enough space and time to get comfortable with the idea of speaking around him, so he tries to keep himself in check all the time.

It's when he hears you singing that he can't help but feel greedy, and the rare sight of Comte's blushing cheeks greets you for the first time ever. It's his weak point, use it as you may deem ;)

(okay but jokes aside WHY would you ever want to use it against him, he'd build a pyramid with a butter knife while doing a backflip if you asked him to tbh,, the man is Whipped.)

Everything you do has a meaning and a significance, so he's always taking in even the smallest piece of information you may subconsciously slip his way. Seeing how you trust him enough to lower your guards about him makes him all the more appreciative of the bond you two share. For this reason, if you ever want to try and get over your anxiety, he'll be there to walk with you from the first to the last step of your journey.

His favorite thing is when he's holding you in his arms, nuzzled against his chest while he dozes off to your heavenly humming. It makes him feel like a prince living his happy ever after in a fairytale and he couldn't be more grateful.

[evanescentreverie]

Perform (SVT Hoshi)

I love it when you perform

The first time you saw him was on stage, his whole being poured into his dancing. The way he moved his feet to the beat, the way his arms never missed the perfect angles they needed to be in but most importantly, you saw how much he poured his emotions into dancing. For you, it was absolutely ethereal and you felt lucky to even be standing on the same stage as he.

You knew at that moment, you fell in love with his passion.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"I really admire Hoshi from Seventeen. I just really enjoy it when I see him dance."

You watched yourself as you muttered those words. You saw how your cheeks turned a slight pink, how your fellow members told the interviewer the things that you would rather keep to yourself. You saw how you turned into a bashful girl in front of the camera, shying away from the spotlight.

"Is there anything you'd like to say to Hoshi?" The emcee had asked you. You cringed when you saw how nervous you were being.

You remembered taking a deep breath before answering, "Hoshi-sunbaenim, I really hope you continue to dance your heart out because you inspire me, as well as the others, to do what they desire to do." You gave a small smile at the end as you bowed, waving at the camera once you stood up straight.

You threw your phone on your bed as you felt your cheeks heat up, heart pounding in your chest, "Oh gosh, what if he sees this?"

You walk towards your bed, jumping in it and taking your phone to scroll in Twitter. Immediately, you saw that Hoshi was trending and you somehow had a feeling as to why. You sighed before shutting it off, reminding yourself that it wasn't wise to look at the tweets. Realizing you weren't going to be able to sleep, you stood up from your bed and headed towards the door, ready for another night of polishing your dancing skills.

"Let's just hope he doesn't see that."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Thank you so much for your love and support Carats! Horanghae!"

You couldn't believe your eyes, your inspiration was right in front of you and within arm's reach. You were sure that your eyes were starry, admiration clearly showed on your face. You were happy for them, you were happy that they have won. Their song was something you listened to multiple times a day, even going as far as learning the dance (Hoshi's part of course). So, to see him right in front of you, close to doing an encore, was something unbelievable.

The groups on the stage slowly dispersed, allowing Seventeen to perform fully on stage. As you passed by them, you took a glance at Hoshi, only to see that he was already looking at you. Your cheeks flushed as you bowed respectfully, Hoshi bowing in return as he smiled his signature smile at you.

He was the first to look away as you exited the stage. You felt dizzy, feeling as if the scene in front of you was unreal. You held your cheeks, fanning yourself to cool down your face. You saw your members worrying about you, causing you to smile and wave off their concern.

You walked to the bathroom, thankful that it was empty as you took a moment to calm yourself. 'That was too much.' You closed your eyes, taking a deep breath before looking at the mirror. You couldn't stop your smile, heart feeling giddy as you remembered the interaction. 'I can't believe Hoshi looked at me.' You giggled to yourself. You swore that if people were to look at you right now, they would believe that you were going crazy. Maybe you were but that only meant you were extremely happy.

Once you were sure that you were calm, you exited the bathroom. What greeted you as you did, however, was the very person that caused your pounding heart.

Your eyes widened as he approached you, waving at you with a smile on his face. You froze on spot, unknowing of what to do in this situation. Do you wave? Do you smile? Do you greet him? Your thoughts ran a hundred miles per hour, mind malfunctioning at the very sight of him approaching you. He stood near you, his smile never leaving as he reached out his hands, a signal for you to shake it.

"Nice to meet you! I'm Hoshi!" You looked at his hands, clenching your fist as it was feeling very clammy. You wiped the sweat off of your hands as you nervously reached out for his hands.

"Hoshi-sunbaenim! It's... It's a p-pleasure." You mentally kicked yourself for stuttering, cheeks feeling red as you removed your hold from his.

He chuckled at your form, "I saw your video and I really want to say that I appreciate your words. It really meant a lot to us as a group but most importantly, me as a dancer." He looked at your eyes, a small genuine smile present on his lips. "So, thank you."

You felt your brain shut down at the sight of his smile. You could hear your heart loudly pounding against your chest, your stomach feeling a sense of anxiousness.

"I-I-I..." You looked down, hands fiddling with the hem of your skirt. "Thank you for inspiring me, Hoshi-sunbaenim."

You heard him chuckle, "You know, you're not a bad dancer yourself. You're the main dancer of your group right?"

You could only nod, mouth unable to form any words.

"I can definitely see why. You have this aura when you dance that mesmerizes the viewer." You gaped at him, mind not believing his praise. You felt your whole body fill with happiness, the sudden praise serving as a newfound passion in you.

You gave him a bright smile, eyes teary from the surge of emotions. "To hear that from you," You paused as you pursed your lip, trying to contain the amount of happiness that resides in you. "It really means a lot to me Hoshi-sunbaenim."

The conversation stopped as Hoshi stared at you, causing you to feel a sense a feeling of self-consciousness. Seeing this, Hoshi's grin returned, "Hey! we should hang out sometime! You know, to give you a couple of pointers."

It was then that your brain short-circuited, cheeks warming at his sudden invitation. You could only stare at him in shock as he waited for an answer. A few minutes passed and Hoshi's expression switched to that of concern, waving his hands in front of you.

"(Y/n)?"

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"I like you (Y/n)."

Very rarely does Hoshi's expression turns serious and right now was one of those moments. At first, you thought that he was joking, seeing as you were closer now than before. You could even consider each other as best friends so seeing him confess to you was something that you didn't expect any more. Sure you had a crush on him the first few times you met but you realized that the friendship the two of you had was priceless and quickly brushed the feelings aside.

"What?" You gaped at his statement, still finding his sudden confession hard to believe.

"I like you, (Y/n). I have been liking you for a while now." He looked away, "It's okay if you don't like me back but know that I do."

Your heart pounded against your chest, lips pursed as you thought of a reply. The more you think about it, the more you didn't have to. You smiled as you held his cheeks, forcing him to look at you directly.

"You idiot," You gave him a warm smile, "but you're my idiot. I like you too."

You saw how his face slowly changed into a happy one, maybe even going as far as elated. "You do?!" His whole being exuded happiness, from his shaking shoulders to his large grin, you knew he was extremely happy.

You laughed at the change in his demeanor, admiring the way he releases his happiness "I do. I like you more than you know."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"You will break up with him or there will be consequences."

You remembered the CEO's words as she yelled at you, demanding you to remove Hoshi from your life. She had found out from an unknown photographer that send pictures of the two of you strolling on a late-night once.

Your lips quivered at the thought of leaving him but you had to. You still had a lot to do, a lot to show, and a lot of promises to keep.

There was also the fact that he had so much more to lose than you. So you had to leave him, to keep the both of you safe.

You allowed yourself to cry, feeling as if you had to be strong in front of him. "I'm sorry, Soonyoung."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"I'm tired of this. Let's break up."

Often, you wonder about a life different than what you have. If things would have turned out differently. If the two of you had very different jobs and if you two weren't bound by a contract.

You stared at him as he cried, cried as you held it desperately inside of you. You didn't have the right to cry with him, you didn't have the right to show how absolutely devastated you were. You kept your face stoic and your eyes cold, expression void of any sort of emotions.

You rarely saw him like this. In fact, it was the first time you saw him weep like this. He held your hand tightly as he kneeled in front of you, head buried in your palms as he begged for you to stay. Your heart broke at the sounds of his cries, used to hearing his melodic laugh.

"Let's talk this through, okay? Please," He looked up at you and it took every willpower you've got to hold back your emotions. "I need you, (Y/n)." His voice broke at every word as tears spilled from his eyes. You removed your hands from his hold as you took a deep breath.

"There's nothing to talk about. I just don't love you anymore." You heard him sob as you felt your heart drop. With one more glare, you spoke once more. "Don't call me, Don't contact me. Just... leave me alone."

With that, you walked away, the tears you've been holding back finally letting themself drop. You held in a sob before entering a taxi. The moment you've entered, you choked out a sob, your emotions spilling as you failed to hold it in. You hid your face in your hands as you sobbed, your body trembling at the overwhelming sadness you felt.

'I'm sorry it had to turn out this way.'

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The crowd buzzed as you look for your seat with your friend. You hid your face as much as you could, not wanting to be recognized by this large crowd. It would cause a lot of controversies, after all.

"Um," You lowered your mask as you tapped the shoulder of your friend beside you, the girl immediately turning to you.

"Yes?"

You gave her a sheepish smile, "Do you mind if you bring my album with you for them to sign?"

She glanced at you with a confused expression, "Why? Do you not want to meet them?"

"I do but with what happened, I'm not sure I have the courage to do so." You chuckled sadly. She gave you a knowing look before nodding, "Alright, give me your album and I promise to return it after."

You shot her a grateful smile, "Thank you so much."

She smiled before nodding, standing up to get in line. You raised your mask back to its original place and watched as she waited, the line moving at a steady pace. You watched as she approached each member before finally reaching him. Your heart beat nervously, wondering what his reaction would be.

I love it when you perform

You saw how his eyes widened, how his head shot up immediately to look at the person in front of him. You saw how his expression saddened when he realized it wasn't you. You saw him look around the crowd, making you alert of his scanning.

You lowered your hat in order to avoid being seen, biting your lips in anxiety. You counted a few seconds before returning your gaze towards him, smiling sadly when you see his visible disappointment.  You knew that you had made the right choice and you knew in your heart that things were better this way.

He returned his attention back at the album, a bittersweet smile now placed on his lips. You watched as he wrote something before handing back the album. As your friend reached the final member, she walked towards you and handed your album back.

You once again muttered your thanks, smiling as she told you it was nothing. You opened the album, turning to the page. You held your breath as you read the message, holding back your tears as you did.

I love it more when you cheer me on, (Y/n).

Your heart ached the more you saw it, your hands tracing the familiar handwriting. You slowly looked back at his form, a sad smile now etched into your face. A few minutes later, you stood up from your seat and left, muttering your silent goodbye.

"I really love it when you perform, Soonyoung."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[miss-tc-nova]

Five More Minutes - Eraqus x Reader

Hey, you guys remember the Five More Minutes - Brain x Reader story? Well thanks to a CERTAIN SOMEONE, the character for the prompt changed from Eraqus to Brain because Nova is a petty bitch. 

And AT LEAST ONE OF YOU UNDERSTANDS THAT! THANK YOU!

However, I’ve been thinking about this WIP for a while and I put myself out there, so I’ll kinda forgive ffm-non’s heinous crime for now and post Five More Minutes with Eraqus. 

Music Inspiration: Hikari (Godson Remix) by Hikaru Utada

~~~~~

              Rushing through the streets of Scala, I bob and weave between unsuspecting citizens on my way to the theater. Today’s the day—hopefully. I’ve spent the last week trying to get a ticket for this show but it’s been sold out every day. Both my saving grace and the bane of my existence is that they aren’t pre-selling tickets, so it’s first come first serve for who gets to see the show.

              I’m heaving like I just ran halfway across the city—because I did—but I finally make it to the theater. Unlike the last few days, I find myself in luck at the sight of the relatively short line. With excitement bubbling in my chest, I race to join the queue.

              Just as I reach the line, something jumps in my way. I garner the embarrassing attention of several people in the vicinity as I topple to the ground, taking the obstacle down with me.

              Hastily, I pull my face from the white fabric.

              “Oh gods! I’m so sorry!” I say, scrambling my feet and taking the strangers hand to pull him up. “Are you okay?! Did I hurt you?!”

              Suddenly, I hear my name and finally get a look at the young man I’d practically tackled. I know him. While my family does not follow the noble keyblade warrior tradition like his, our magic has been revered so our families have been amicable for years. At least once or twice our year, our families get together for dinner and we almost always see each other at events for the more affluent people in the city.

              “Eraqus?”

              A beaming smile crosses his lips. “Hey! What’s up!”

              Heat surges into my ears. While I’ve been forced to be within proximity of this boy for years, I’ve never been caught alone with him before. He’s certainly cute and, while our parents may not think so, I find him kind of funny. Still, while I kind of know him, because of our families’ differences we’ve never actually been friends.

              “Uh, not much. I was just trying to get in line for tonight’s show. But seriously, I didn’t see you. Are you okay?”

              This kid’s laugh stirs something in my chest.

              “Yeah, I’m good. My friends hit me harder than that in training.”

              The sheer happiness rolling off him is distracting. “I…I don’t think that’s a good thing.”

              “Nah, it’s alright; we make each other stronger.” His eyes glance away. “So, I guess you wanted to see this show too?” An arm gestures to the moving line that we scoot along with.

              “Yeah. I’ve been trying to see it the last few days, but it’s been sold out. What about you? I wouldn’t have guessed theater to be something you enjoy?”

              He folds his arms. “Mmm, I like some of them, but my friends really wanted to see this one.”

              I take a moment to take in our surroundings. “Um, what friends?”

              His cheer is bright and captivating, but even the defeated frown it morphs into is somehow endearing.

              “Nobody wanted to come early to wait in line, but we probably wouldn’t get tickets if we came on time.”

              I nod, understanding the dilemma.

              “So Bragi suggested rock-paper-scissor.”

              Now it all makes sense. “And you lost, so now you’re here to buy tickets for everyone.”

              “Yeah…” His pouting is so cute.

              A small giggle escapes me. “So it’s sheer coincidence I happen to literally run into you today?”

              That smile’s back. “Or! We could call it luck.”

              “I would assume bad luck; you lost a game of chance and I literally ran into you.”

              “Details.”

              And so we keep each other company. The more I talk to the boy, the more I can confirm how fucking adorable he is. His smile is infectious and I find myself hanging on every word, no matter how wild the tale is. I can barely even drag my gaze away long enough to take a few steps before I’m staring at his beautiful face again. Before long, I can already tell I’m head over heels for him. Even after tickets are purchased, we find a bench nearby to continue our chat.

              It only ends when someone calls his name. There’s a small herd of people making their way closer.

              Getting to his feet, Eraqus greets his friends. “Hey guys, what’re you doin’ here early?”

              “Early?” snorts the girl with silver hair. “The show starts in twenty minutes.” Her golden eyes catch sight of me. “Who’s this?”

              I wave to Baldr and Hermod, both of whom I know from similar family social events. They do the honor of introducing me to the gaggle, which is both a bit lighthearted and overwhelming. They seem like a great group of friends to have, despite their differences.

              “It was good to see you again,” Hermod says, leading the mass towards the entrance. “But we’d better take our seats before the show starts.”

              “You got the tickets, right Eraqus?” Xehanort asks.

              “Right here.” He pushes all but one into his friend’s hand before turning to me. “Which seat are you in?”

              I look at my stub. “E7.” The look on his face is disappointment. “Where are you at?”

              “N24,” he mutters. That’s literally on the other side of the theater from where I am and I find myself similarly disappointed with the arrangement.

              “Guess I’ll have to get your opinions on the show some other time,” I say, trying to make the blow a little softer.

              Our eyes meet and I feel myself being drawn in.

              “Maybe we could meet up at that little café around the corner?” he asks.

              “The one with the fancy s’mores?”

              “Yeah! That one!”

              Eraqus detours the conversation with a tale about the time he and went there with his friends and one of them ended up spilling a drink on everyone—pretty sure it was Eraqus by the way he kept switching names. Nevertheless, I couldn’t help but laugh.

              “Eraqus, the show’s about to start!” I don’t even know which one it was that yelled at him.

              “’Kay! Just gimme five more minutes!”

              Excited chitchat continues, following tangent after tangent and never with a lull. I could continue on like this for ages, happy to spend hours in his presence, enamored by the boy I never really knew.

              I drag my hands down my face. “And then, because I stupidly thought things couldn’t get any worse, I tried to use a fire spell to dry him off and set him on fire.”

              Eraqus is laughing so hard he’s crying. “Wait wait wait! I remember Hermod came to school with a huge hole in his jacket! Was that you?!” I nod in sheepish shame. “Oh my gods! We thought he got mugged or something! He wouldn’t tell us what happened!”

              “Every time our families get together, our parents won’t let us live it down. Mine won’t even let me join them anymore without asking me to ‘please not light their colleague’s kids on fire.’”

              “And here I thought you were the smart, cool type,” he teases.

              “As much as I’d love to be, I’m actually a total mess.”

              “That’s okay; I am too.”

              “Oh really? I always thought you were laid back and easy going. With our families’ prestige, I was always kind of jealous of how calm you are about everything.”

              “Then you have clearly never seen me wake up late for class.”

              The laughing between us dies down, but before I can make another comment, I realize that he’s watching me. This isn’t watching like two people waiting for cues in a conversation, but watching as if he’s looking for something very specific.

              Beneath his scrutiny, my brain starts to malfunction, causing my ability to speak to take a hit. “Um, I…I’m pretty sure anyone would…would panic if they woke up late for class.”

              “I guess.” The softness suddenly introduced into his voice feels like an arrow through the heart. “But it’s probably not the same when it’s a weekly occurrence.”

              Is he leaning in?

              “No…I guess not…”

              He is—he is very much leaning in.

              “Eraqus.” I can’t even speak above a whisper.

              “Hmm?”

              My heart is pounding in my ears, trying desperately to drown out my thoughts.

              “I think our show’s started,” I breathe.

              “Five more minutes,” he murmurs against my lips.

              Not a single protest is heard from me. No, I’m too preoccupied with electricity coursing through my veins. For a moment, Eraqus leads the way, soft and slow, likely assessing my shock. Honestly, I’m not entirely sure what my reaction should be, but my body tells me to just see where this goes. And with each passing second, I’m falling down the rabbit hole with him.

              The world suddenly jars to when the source of my euphoria breaks away. His brows pinch together, concern written across his face.

              “I’m sorry,” he mutters, his voice wracked with uncertainty. “I thought—”

              Without asking my head for permission, my hands snag his haori.

              “Five more minutes,” I say softy.

              Our lips connect again and, though I’m prepared for the jolt, I still feel the weight of the world disappear around us. This time, I lead, hoping my confidence sends the right idea to the young man. I think he gets it, happily matching my every move. His little sighs cause my stomach to squirm, making self-control difficult. But there will be plenty of time for the rest later, for now, I want to take my time and get a grasp on how his lips feel against mine.

              I pull away, using a deep breath the calm my racing heart and ground me back in reality. Eraqus, too, breathes a little heavier, and yet he continues watching me as if he’s still fully enraptured. That look is hypnotizing, subtly—easily—luring me in again.

              That quickly goes out the window.

              “Eraqus!”

              Flinching, he whirls back, where his entire group of friends is standing with mixed expression. My blood freezes.

              “What?!” he shouts back.

              “Are you comin’ back to the dorms with us or not?” Urd demands.

              My eyes dart to the sky. It was dark when the show started, but the moon sat higher among the stars than it had moments ago—or what I thought was only moments ago.

              Eraqus’s gaze flips back and forth between me and them. “Did…Did we miss the whole show?!”

              “Yes, you dingus!”

              Hermod gives a soft smile. “C’mon guys, give him a break.”

              The red-head, Bragi, snickers. “Yeah, the kid’s only been dreaming of this moment his whole life.”

              My mouth falls open but I can just see Eraqus’s face burning brightly.

              “BRAGI!”

              “Oops.” The offender grins unabashedly. “My bad.”

              Xehanort folds his arms, smirking. “Ooooh, so this is that cute little mage he’s been crushing on.”

              “You mean that one he always talks about after he visits his family?” Her tone is full of innocence, but the grin on the little blonde’s face is pure evil.

              Oh my gods, I might implode.

              “YOU GUYS!”

              “What was it he said last time?” Urd asks, also basking in Eraqus’s flustering.

              Baldr answers, “I believe it was something along the lines of ‘I would give up naps for an entire year if the gods would just let me have a single—‘”

              “I’LL DO EVERYONE’S HOMEWORK FOR A MONTH IF YOU JUST GO AWAY!” Eraqus yells, waving his arms as if he might fly away from this mess.

              Hermod begins ushering everyone away. “Seriously, guys, let’s go.”

              “Wait! I don’t want him doing my homework!” Bragi protests. “He’s failing like half our classes!”

              Glancing back with one last devious look, Xehanort responds, “Let him have his moment; we’ll just make him do something else later.” The expression softens when he gives me a genuine wink.

              Finally, after instigating all the butterflies in my stomach to the point I might vomit sparkles, they leave. We sit in suffocating silence for an awkward moment. Then, one of the butterflies must’ve escaped into my brain when I suddenly crack a laugh.

              “An entire year without naps, huh?”

              Still cherry red, he looks at me, mortified.

              His floundering gives me the bit of confidence I need to close the gap once again. “And what was it you so desperately begged the gods for?”

              Eraqus’s back meets the wall, but he still puts on a smile, even if it is bashful. “Let’s just say I’ve already lost my napping privileges for the year.”

              “Yeah? So if the gods were to grace you a second time, would that be two years without naps?”

              His nerves seem to melt and those stunning gray eyes glitter in the moon as he watches me. “You gonna stick around and find out?”

              “How long were you thinking?” I slip my arms around his neck, unable to stop myself from twirling a strand of ebony hair between my fingers.

              “Oh at least five more minutes.”

              “Just five?”

              He feigns mulling it over in head. “And maybe five more after that.”

[gaemkyuu]

The Meeting

Warnings: implied intercourse, but not described A/N: First story that I am posting! I have four more parts, so if you like it, leave me a comment and I will post the others :) Disclaimer: This is a FICITONAL writing piece on Charlie Gillespie. In no way do I claim or declare that Charlie’s portrayal is accurate to real life. I do however, own Teagan Valencia :)

Masterlist

The Teagan Valencia Series: The Meeting  / The Fight / The Proposal / The Present / The Recovery / The Future 

The Meeting

“Quiet on set...! And...Action!”

Teagan watched in silent adoration as Charlie delivered his lines. She didn’t always have the opportunity to sneak away from work to watch him work, but today was an exception. The second season was well underway in the filming process and their popularity was increasing. Kenny noticed Teagan out of the corner of his eye and motioned her over so that she could watch the scene from the monitor. She was amazed at how Charlie looked playing Luke. She had met him three years ago when he was filming Season 1, but yet the boy on camera looked exactly like he did that same day three years ago.

***

Teagan had been visiting Vancouver that weekend to visit family and help her sister get settled. Her little sister had been accepted into the University of British Columbia in the Business program studying Accounting and Finance. She was the pride and joy of filipino immigrant parents as she was attending an esteemed university and getting a degree. All the while their oldest, Teagan, had opted for a non traditional method of getting into the marketing industry by working for a popular canadian clothing brand. Her sister was going to be a university graduate while Teagan worked her way up the ladder in a retail store. Teagan always knew that going to school wasn’t where her path was taking her, but she always knew that hard work, determination and experience were valuable assets in the job market. Something her parents would never understand.

“Charlie watch out!”

They were walking around Gastown in their cute summer dresses killing time before their dinner reservation, when Teagan was knocked over by another person. As she got her bearings, she felt cold liquid on her chest and the weight of another body. The other person quickly scrambled to their feet and profusely apologized, helping her stand as her cousins stood there in shock. She heard a couple more footsteps rush over to where she were standing, dusting off her butt and looking her tackler in the face. In an instant, Teagan had forgotten what had happened as she got lost in the deep green pools of the man in front of her. It wasn’t the eye colour that stole her focus, but rather the intensity of emotions that he conveyed through them. Teagan could see and feel the embarrassment, regret and sincerity of the man.

“Teags?”

Her cousin’s voice broke her trance and she blushed when she realized she had been staring. She noticed that two other people stood behind him, in which she assumed was her friend. One was fairly tall and blonde and the female with long auburn hair and a beanie. Teagan forced herself to focus on what the man was saying rather than the beautiful eyes in front of her.

“I am so so so sorry. I completely didn’t see you and didn’t mean to ruin your dress or tackle you to the floor” Teagan looked down at her once cute summer dress covered in iced coffee from Starbucks. “Is there any way I can make it up to you?” Teagan stood there speechless.

“Uh-uhm- D-Don’t worry about it! It’s totally fine” Teagan felt slightly flustered and out of breath, her blush deepening as she heard her cousin scoff on the side. “I can quickly just go and buy something else to wear”

“Please let us pay for it! We feel horrible!” the man’s female friend offered coming closer to Teagan motioning the other two males as well.

“Seriously, it’s fine! I’m totally fine! Don’t worry about it!” Teagan couldn’t quite understand why she felt embarrassed when they were the ones who were at fault. “What happened anyway?”

“Our friend thought it would be funny to run away with my iced coffee and wasn’t looking where he was running. It’s my fault too because I was chasing after him” the blonde one shyly confessed, rubbing his neck apologetically. “I hope we didn’t ruin your night”

“We were just killing time waiting for our reservation. It isn’t for another half an hour, so we have ample time to grab Teagan a new dress” Teagan silently thanked her cousin as her brain was malfunctioning at the handsome man in front of her. 

“We seriously feel so bad, can we please make it up to you somehow?” the female tried to offer some sort of compensation again.

“It’s totally fine, no hard feelings. It wasn’t like it was on purpose right?” Teagan’s brain started to slowly function as she declined the offer of the female.

“Seriously, we need to make this up to you two. I won’t take no for an answer and if you do say no, I’ll just follow you around until you say yes” The handsome man took a step closer to Teagan, causing her breath to catch and swallow deeply.

“Uhm, okay! I mean, if you won’t take No, I’d much rather just make new friends instead of gaining a stalker!” Teagan could feel her words tumble clumsily out of her mouth. Thus began the start of a new friendship. Teagan, her cousin and their new friends ventured to the nearest H&M to find something else for her to wear. Turns out that the other female, Savannah, had excellent taste in clothing. They all came to learn that they were all in the same age range, with Tegan being born in 1997 and Owen, the blonde being born in 2000. Teagan also came to learn that her handsome tackler’s name was Charlie and that all three of them were actors for a new Netflix project that was scheduled to air in the New Year. The three ladies got along incredibly and their shopping trip turned into all five of them going to dinner. They had lucked out when a table of 5 before them no-showed the restaurant. They spent the evening getting to know one another and a deep friendship was easily formed. Throughout the night, Charlie and Teagan connected on several levels and at times forgot there were three other people at the table. Occasionally the two would banter or tease each other, even though they had met that day. As their dinner came to an end and bills were paid by none other than Charlie, the girls exchanged contact information, planning to hangout on their next day off. But before Teagan could walk away for the night, Charlie slipped a piece of paper in Teagan’s hand apologizing one more time for running into her.

‘Coffee? This time I won’t spill it on you’ was messily written on the one side, with his phone number on the other. Teagan’s cousin didn’t notice the smile that lit up her face, but she quickly snapped a picture of it and tucked it in her purse for safe keeping.

That coffee date with Charlie ended up becoming a regular occurrence, though the only one who would be drinking coffee would be Teagan as Charlie always settled for tea or whatever dessert or smoothie he wanted to explore that day. She appreciated his adventurous side as she was creature of habit at times. She learned a lot about the industry and the many quirks of Charlie Gillespie.  Soon, coffee dates turned into dinner dates and dinner dates turned into weekend cuddles and relaxation, but filming would eventually wrap and the holidays approached, leaving Teagan and Charlie to make a definitive decision in their relationship. Teagan didn’t expect to extend her Vancouver visit from a week to about a month and a half. Reality was coming fast ans soon Charlie would be back to LA and Teagan working in Edmonton.

“Charlie, what are we?” she asked him as both sat on the couch of his apartment. Mama Mia played softly in the background on the TV as she turned to face him.

“Well what do you want to be?” he cheekily asked her, flashing one of his killer smiles.

“Je suis sérieuse. Tu retournes à LA toute suite et moi à Edmonton. C’est quoi ça?" Charlie knew that when Teagan spoke to her in french she was serious. It was one of the things he learned early on about Teagan. He was pleased to know that she was fluent in french, having taken an IB course in high school, but they often bantered about their accents. She understood how french was a huge part of who he was and she didn’t speak to him in french unless it was important. She knew it got his attention right away since he was so used to being around people who only spoke english.

He paused the TV, complete silence filling the room, both of them facing one another. Charlie was off to Vietnam for the holidays and Teagan planned to spend hers with her family in Edmonton, seeing as she had made an impromptu extension to her trip in Vancouver. He knew that the next time they would be seeing one another they would be crossing borders to visit one another and to be honest the distance felt a bit overwhelming. But Charlie couldn’t shake the fact that there was something about Teagan that he didn’t want to let go. 

“What’s going to happen when we both go back to living the way we were before one another?” Charlie chuckled softly to himself, knowing his decision. Teagan cocked an eyebrow at his response.

“Well nothing’s going to go back to the way it was before Teags” she loved hearing Charlie use her nickname. He said it in a way that sounded so comforting to her ears. “You’re mine right?”

“Define: mine” Teagan smiled coyly at Charlie, already understanding what he meant. “I need help understanding you. I don’t speak Charlie Gillespie Language” Charlie rolled his eyes and got down in front of Teagan, settling in between her legs.

“Teagan Jillian Valencia, will you be my girlfriend?” He jutted his lips forward ever so slightly to create the perfect pouty lips and then he comboed them with his best puppy eyes. Teagan shook her head at the dramatics of the man in front of her and kissed him on the lips, pulling him up and forward. “So, that’s a yes?”

She nodded and kissed him again, this time a little more aggressively. Charlie took the hint and started getting all handsy, but Teagan broke their kiss. “As much as I would love to do this right now, Owen comes home in 30 minutes and I would much rather him not walking in on us, again”

“Well let’s make this quick and move to the bedroom!”

[humanmoodring-retired]

Feline A Little Clawstrophobic ||Nicole & Nadia

TIMING: Back in April  PARTIES: @nicsalazar & @humanmoodring SUMMARY: Two cat ladies walk into an elevator CONTENT: Drug manipulation (balam ingesting catnip)

Lack of focus was always a problem for Nicole, but it was safe to say things took a turn for the worst in the past weeks. She was hardly present anymore. To the point where she jumped on her truck and drove aimlessly for hours. Like sleepwalking but conscious, she mused. It was better to drive than to walk, though. Not only because she was forced to do light activity after breaking her ribs, but it was better for her if she put her mental energy into an easy task. Walking used to be how she processed things, and she wasn’t ready for it. She couldn’t think about that night without fear constricting her throat.

Wandering around the shopping center was manageable. It would take real bad luck to break her bones again. Nicole held onto a bag items she didn’t recall buying, and tired of just circling around the same places, she headed towards the elevator. She pushed the button for the first floor, but as the doors were closing, another person entered. The eye contact was minimum before she lowered her gaze, shoulders tensing at the presence. Her lips pressed into a thin line. The woman would be able to tell it was meant to be a smile, right? It didn’t matter, in a few seconds she would never see that stranger again.  

With the weather getting less shitty, and with her body healing more and more each day, Nadia was slowly but surely getting more comfortable with going out and doing things. And, seeing as she hadn’t done shit for her own birthday but it was well over a year since she’d found and rescued her cat, Rhiannon, Nadia decided she was going to do something nice for the little fucker. She was grateful to have the cat back in her apartment, even if she woke up with a giant mound of fur crushing her. It was a good reminder that she was still alive. She’d gone to the store and bought a few cat toys with her groceries, ended up snagging a thing of catnip before she was starting to feel fatigued and decided it was time to head out.

The woman in the elevator with Nadia felt like grief and fear and something numb, familiar and numb. Even if it was probably not as overwhelming as it could be, something that she was beginning to expect from many of the residents in White Crest, it was still a lot, and she felt herself tensing up in response. Still, she managed to give the woman a tired smile of her own and a murmured “thank you” before she shifted her weight a bit and waited for the elevator to take them down. Except there was a grinding noise, a jerk as the elevator came to a violent stop. Nadia grabbed at her side instinctively, even though she wasn’t at risk of stitches popping open this late in the game. “Shit,” she hissed, looking around, trying to figure out what was going on.

Nicole lifted her head when the elevator came to an unexpected stop. For a split second she expected the doors to open for another person, but the woman’s reaction made her realize what was happening. The elevator malfunctioned. They were trapped. “Uh—” she swallowed, slowly processing the situation. The feeling of being caged wasn’t exactly one she was fond of, and she fought to keep her rising anxiety in line.  She let out a nervous breath, eyes fixing on the emergency button. “It— it should be fine” she shrugged, leaving her bag on the floor. The less effort she made carrying extra weight the less oxygen she took out of the room, right? “Un— less...unless there’s a blackout or some— some shit like that” She pulled at the extra hair tie on her wrist, absently playing with it. What could be worse than being in a confined space with a stranger? Even her nightmares were nicer than that. “But... it’ll be fine” she met the woman’s gaze through the mirror on the wall, before pushing the button a few times. When she took a deep breath in, something tickled the back of her throat. Brow furrowed, she glanced at the woman again, trying to decipher her scent. Nothing was particularly strong, yet— she licked her lips, trying to concentrate on the smell.

This was cool, this was fine, Nadia thought as she felt her own nerves mingle with the stranger’s. She wasn’t a fan of tight spaces, she was learning, the way it reminded her of being able to look out her own eyes but not move as she lacked control of her own body. She dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands, the gesture grounding. She was real. It was a shitty situation, but she was real, and she was fine. She almost wished she could walk through the fucking wall like she was still a ghost. Almost. She never wanted to be like that again. “It’s totally fine. Someone’s gonna come, and, yeah, it’ll be fine.” The other woman just really kind of radiated a sense of anxiety that Nadia couldn’t quite get over. This was great. This was why she didn’t get out much. “Just my fucking luck,” she muttered. “Go to the store and get stuck in a damn elevator.” She leaned against the wall and slumped a bit, her bags hanging by her side. When she met the stranger’s eye, she tried to give a half-hearted smile. The other woman’s emotions had changed a bit as her brow furrowed, though Nadia couldn’t quite tell what it was. “Is the, uh, the help button working, or are we in a dead zone?”

Right. It was a good thing they were both staying level headed considering the situation, Nicole thought. Everything would suck so much more if one of them started panicking and sucked all the air in the small elevator. She looked down, hiding a smile at the woman’s words. It was nice to know she wasn’t the only one annoyed by the situation. Had she been better at conversations, she would’ve enjoyed spending the time complaining about shitty luck and poorly maintained machines with her. That was a thing adult women bonded over, right? “No… don’t think it’s working” very slowly, she lowered her hand, as if she still held a glimmer of hope that something would happen. She retreated back to the opposite wall, licking her lips again. What was in the air? It was familiar, yet she couldn’t place it yet. Some sort of plant. Nicole blinked once, twice, tongue poking between her teeth. Wide brown eyes stared intensely at the other woman. Searching, assessing. And then— She took a bite of air. Oh, no. Her heartbeat raced. In the back of her mind she was aware of what was happening, but she didn’t think she’d be able to stop it. Fuck. Still conscious, she tried to pass off the odd movement as a yawn. Good, quick thinking and — Oh, it was creeping on her so, so fast. Premium shit, it had to be. She didn’t think she’d care for long.  “I’m— I’m...do you—” poor woman, Nicole smiled lazily. “Have...cat?”

“Oh, good. Hey, I was worried this would be resolved quickly, right?” Nadia sighed, running a hand through her hair and hoping she wasn’t coming off as an ass. It was just, fuck, being stuck in an elevator wasn’t exactly how she’d imagined to spend the day, and at least she wasn’t alone, but she also wasn’t alone, which meant she had to deal with herself as well as someone else. Normally, she preferred that, preferred that she could focus on someone else instead of herself for just a bit, just a fucking bit, but maybe not while both of them were stressed over being stuck in a goddamn elevator. Nadia liked being able to focus on positive emotions, or even fun emotions like anger. Not anxiety. She had enough of that on her own. There was no need for anymore, thank you. She checked her phone. Yep, yeah, that seemed about right. No fucking service. She bit at the inside of her cheek before she felt a wave of just… mellow wash over her. She looked up at the other woman, the smile on her face and the look in her eyes, and Nadia raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’ve got a cat. She’s a total asshole. I actually came to the store to get her a few things and…” she trailed off. “Do you… like cats?”

Nicole inhaled deeply, enjoying the absence of stiffness on the side of her chest. She took in as much of the scent as her lungs allowed. The cast on her wrist was forgotten. The effect was much stronger now that her brain recognized the minty fragrance. She tilted her head back against the wall, transfixed by the emergency lights. “Fuck” she let out a breathy laugh. “I’m so so—” she wanted to apologize, knowing she would embarrass herself, but the words faded from her brain. Nice. “Mmm...I’m cats” She closed her eyes, a blissful smile plastered on her face. It was hot inside the elevator, Nicole registered. But for a few seconds there was nothing to worry about. No dreamscape, no cliff, no anger getting out of control. Just the fast beat of her heart to focus on. Not quite euphoric yet. She needed—  craved more. The scent just wasn’t enough. Her mouth was watering. Pupils were blown when she opened her eyes again. She got off the wall, taking a few clumsy steps towards the human. She offered a mischievous smile, nodding at the bag. “Hey... c’mon” she pleaded softly, before getting close enough to peek inside. Her prize. It was driving her wild. She gripped the human’s wrist, forcing her to lift the bag, before rubbing her face against it. Almost. Her patience ran out quickly, the human was so slow that she smacked the bag out of her hands, content spilling on the floor. She dropped to her knees, trying to rip the catnip bags open.

“What the fuck do you mean, you’re cats?” This was a little weird, even for Nadia, but she couldn’t deny that this chick’s emotions? They felt so much better than her own. Pure fucking contentment and happiness and relaxation. It’d been awhile since she’d felt that, and, sure, maybe it wasn’t full-throttle, but, god, it felt nice. It was weird as hell though. Nadia backed a bit into the wall, pushing herself against it. The woman grabbed Nadia’s wrist, the one that had been snapped sometime during or before the exorcism, and Nadia winced. “Hey, hey, no grabbing, let’s not-- let’s not grab, okay?” Nadia… knew this feeling, sort of. She recognized it from the few college parties she’d been dragged to, the way she’d felt it coming off of people from the crowd and filling her, making her want to go back for more. “Dude, are you-- are you fucking high right now? How? We’re in the-- you just spilled my shit, holy fuck.” She watched as the bag of catnip and toys spilled out on the elevator floor and the woman went down to the ground. “I just bought that. Fuck. Wait-- you’re cats. You… you want the catnip.” Okay, cats. Cat people? Cats. This was fine. This was totally normal. “I’m stuck in an elevator with a high cat lady. I wish I was a high cat lady,” she muttered, and she slid down the wall to sit, shooting the woman a tired look. But, hey, at least she was relaxing.

Nicole heard the sounds. Words, she knew. Vaguely. Not that it was ever her strength, but she couldn’t exactly form a coherent sentence at the moment. Her head bobbed without a clear direction, attempting to nod. A cat lady. Curious eyes observed the woman for a moment, waiting for some sort of reaction, any reaction to her trying to tear the bags opens. She was rude but not that rude. It confused her, tilting her head as the woman quietly slid down the wall, but it was the permission she wanted.

She crushed the catnip between her fingertips, nostrils flaring when more scent was released. All tension left her body. Nicole was weightless. She brought the catnip to her mouth, getting a taste of it. A hoarse grunt escaped her mouth. Shit. Shit. Her body tilted forward in slow motion, until she couldn't keep her balance and face planted on the ground. She rolled on her side, letting out a strangled laugh. Something out of the corner of her eye made her jump. She was ready to pounce when she realized— Oh right, the forgotten human. She could enjoy the catnip too, otherwise why did she buy it? Nicole wasn’t selfish. She pawed the air, until she got a hold of her sleeve and pulled her down to the floor. She laughed at that, before breaking down some catnip.  “Here…” she mumbled, her clumsy hand rubbed it in the woman’s face.

There was a woman getting high off of catnip, and Nadia was stuck in an elevator with her. That was what was happening. That was her life now. At least the woman seemed to be enjoying herself. Nadia could feel the relaxation and ease that was working its way through the woman, and it was nice to hear a laugh. Nadia managed a small one herself as she watched the woman struggle with movement. It was funny. It was enjoyable. It almost made being stuck in an elevator for the near future something that was almost tolerable.

Or, at least, Nadia could have believed that it was tolerable until she was pulled over and down to the floor with a groan. “Hey, no, no-- fuck.” She was on the floor with a woman that was high on catnip, and that woman was dragging her down and rubbing catnip in Nadia’s face. Sure, it smelled alright, but it wasn’t, like, weed or shit. “That was for my cat,” Nadia said, her tone dry as she plucked a piece of the catnip out of her hair. “But, hey, glad you’re enjoying it, you know?” It was hard to stay mad with the good vibes.

Nicole gave the woman a blank stare. She wanted to understand what she was saying, she really did. The words were floating above her, but they sounded like a foreign language as they reached her ears. She hummed in response, trying to keep a serious face. Whatever she was saying sounded important. Her cat, something about her cat. Her smile kept growing however, stretching until it hurt her cheeks. She buried her face in the bag again, taking as much as she could before discarding it somewhere on the floor. She allowed herself to close her eyes for a moment, eyelids heavy as warmth swept her body. The sensation was barely familiar. But it wasn’t new, just long forgotten. Like feeling loved or cared for. Being safe on her mother’s lap. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt anything similar.  

Jealousy filled her chest. The human had to be a great cat owner. How come no one was doing that for her? She turned her head to see the woman, watched her remove the catnip from her hair and while confusing, the message was understood. “Oooh” Nicole would’ve been embarrassed by what she was doing. So embarrassed that she would’ve considered moving out of town. But when the scent of catnip was impregnated in every corner of the elevator, shame was hard to register. A clumsy hand reached out to help, patting her head with no delicacy and tousling her hair in the process. Her human brain still pushed to communicate, thank the woman for bringing such a nice gift to her. Making her feel safe. But words kept failing. Instead, she settled by her side, gently pressing her forehead against the woman’s shoulder. Her breath slowing down.

The cat lady, who was a different kind of cat lady than Nadia’s type of cat lady, was well and truly high on catnip. Of all the things that she expected to happen when she came to the store, this just wasn’t it. Maybe, like, getting attacked by one of those fucking mime creatures. She could have seen that happening. Or maybe the sky raining fish. She’d been there, done that, even if she didn’t get the t-shirt. But this was… a little weird. Not the worst thing in the world, but a little weird. It was hard to be too mad, though, when the woman was smiling and felt genuinely content. It was weird as hell, but she wasn’t, like, malevolent. Nadia had been in worse situations.

“Shit, fuck, ow, yes, thank you, thank you, that’s very nice,” Nadia said as the woman swattered at her head. It was just like dealing with Rhiannon. If Rhiannon was a grown ass woman that was swatting at Nadia’s head. Really, it was practically the same thing. She reached up to fix her hair before giving up and resigning herself to it. Then, the woman leaned against her, calm and relaxed and, yeah, okay, maybe Nadia relaxed a little bit, too. Despite being locked in a fucking elevator, this really, really wasn’t the worst. “Maybe don’t, like, fall asleep. Just in case someone comes to get us out of here, soon.” But she was also a little tired. Just a bit. Not much. But Nadia was always tired. Always. But this was kind of relaxing.

Nicole could hardly remember what her life was before she was on the elevator floor cuddling with a stranger. Nothing extraordinary, surely. But she couldn’t care less. The back of her head was tingling pleasantly and that was all that mattered. She had a moment of utter relaxation and she was going to make the best of it. The human beside her wasn’t too bad either. She made a decent cushion compared to other human cushions, and some of the catnip scent had impregnated on her clothes, making her perfectly comfortable. She barely registered what the woman said, because it was time for a nap. And what was more important than that? So she hummed, letting silence fall on them as she enjoyed the best moment in her miserable 27 years of life. Nothing was going to ruin it.

The floor underneath them shook abruptly. The metallic sounds so jarring to her sensitive ears that her body jumped, suddenly on high alert. Nicole was on her feet faster than it was humanly possible, taking her surroundings in. Her brain was foggy, and though it felt like she should’ve been worried about the source of the sound, all she felt was confused. Not yet conscious, but the sensations gradually subsiding. She narrowed her eyes, staring at the woman on the floor with a puzzled expression. “Wha—?” she let out a big laugh, trying to understand why a woman would be lying on the elevator floor in a mess of bags and herbs.

Nadia was resigned to this. This was her life. She lived in this elevator now. She’d never get home. Her only hope was that Ms. Carmody would see about Rhiannon when it appeared that Nadia wasn’t going to go home. She’d never leave this elevator, and she’d die being essentially cuddled by a stranger that was high on catnip. Her saving grace was the second-hand relaxation that poured off the woman in waves, making Nadia not totally perturbed by her situation. Really, it could be worse. There were more tragic ways to go out. More terrifying ways. More nightmare inducing, memory tugging ways that she thought about all the time. This? This was fucking peaceful. Nadia could allow this, even if she’d miss her friends, her people. She was relaxed. She was chill. She was--

She was jolted away when the elevator started moving again, as well as when the woman moved. Nadia sat up, brushing the catnip out of her hair for real this time as she looked around them. The elevator door opened up, and she stood, grabbing her things. There was a guy that opened the door.

“You ladies alright?” he asked.

“Fine, totally, appreciate it,” Nadia said. She looked at the other woman who was still dazed. “We, uh, we should get off.” Nadia couldn’t tell what happened, but she’d gone from high to coming down relatively quickly, and that seemed to have left a lot of confusion in its wake. She didn’t even mind being laughed at. “Unless you wanna stick around the elevator, that is.”

The rumbling continued, and the elevator began to descend. Nicole felt as if she was being pulled in two drastically different directions. On one side, she tried to navigate the thick fog in her brain, recall important information, like who the fuck was the woman with her and why was she suddenly fond of her. On the other, she gripped the sidebar, her stomach filling with the primal urge to hunt down whatever monster was causing those awful sounds. It didn’t make any fucking sense. She gritted her teeth, but it wasn’t enough to contain the hiss she directed at the emergency lights. Her cheeks flushed, embarrassed. Great. Her awareness grew, but somehow so did the grogginess. Part of her was falling asleep while the other was waking up. And no one seemed to agree on who was going to take control yet.

When she looked down again ,her companion was sitting, brushing off whatever it was she had on her. Cat...nip, she read on the bags. Catnip. The wheels began turning faster. She breathed out, relieved to be able to read. The scent was still floating in the elevator, but it had no effect on her anymore.

The smile still playing on Nicole’s lips faltered, and as the door opened, everything clicked. Well, fuck. The woman’s voice came, and she saw part of her confusion reflected on her face. Nothing but babbling sounds came out as she tried to speak. God dammit, what did she do? And why did she still want to laugh? She nodded curtly at the suggestion, picking up her bags and following the woman. She clenched her jaw, wondering if she could spontaneously combust due to the humiliation. The doors closed behind them and there was silence. “Yeah, uh— sorry about...” she shook her head, pointing in the direction she was about to go. Making a mental note to never leave her house again. “Know what? we...we don’t have to,” they didn’t need to talk. Ever. Why bother? “We’re just not gonna...never” she continued to nod, gripping her bag with sweaty palms. Yeah, that was perfect. She turned around, too scared to wait for the woman to add anything. Eyes fixed on the ground, she bolted towards the nearest exit.