#because i use my memory problem to pretend it's not mine

[erigold13261]

Oh don’t you dare ever say that ppl get annoyed by your magic system since it rocks!! I love confusing shit!

Oh I doubt people actually get annoyed with it, especially since I do get asks for how the world works (or how someone is affected by how the world works), I just always have this feeling like I am being annoying by making giant blocks of text.

Basic like intrusive thoughts (or whatever they would be called of me thinking people hate me/find me annoying). Glad this doesn't happen with my art at least! Just my writing (which I still think I need to improve upon greatly).

[paddockletters]

one last chance | jude bellingham

second part of echoes of him pairing: jude bellingham x reader summary: After a twist of fate reunites y/n with Jude, she finds herself torn between old feelings and new challenges as they attempt to rebuild their once fragile bond.

I found myself drawn back to the park—the place Jude and I had always gone when life felt too overwhelming. The place where we’d laughed, fought, made up, and broken down. Every corner held a memory, every bench a moment we couldn’t forget. Today, it felt like a place I came to confront myself. I needed clarity, but all I had was a heavy heart and a million questions.

The days after that night at Toby’s had been a blur. I went through the motions, met Jake for lunch, and responded to his texts, but my mind was elsewhere. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw Jude—his face, his words, the tension crackling between us. No matter how hard I tried to shake it, it lingered, like an unfinished song stuck on repeat.

Jake, in his usual caring way, hadn’t noticed my distraction. Or if he had, he wasn’t saying anything. It made the guilt even worse. He didn’t deserve to be kept in the dark, but how could I tell him the truth when I wasn’t even sure what it was?

I sat there, staring blankly at the ground when I heard footsteps approaching. I didn’t need to look up to know who it was. There was something about Jude’s presence—he always seemed to fill the space around him, making it impossible to ignore him even when I wanted to.

“You keep running here when things get tough, huh?” His voice was low, teasing, but there was a seriousness behind his words that I couldn’t miss.

I swallowed, my throat tight. “Maybe I just like the quiet.”

Jude sat beside me on the bench, his usual confidence replaced by something more hesitant.

“Is that why you’re here, y/n? For the quiet? Or are you here because of me?”

I closed my eyes, the weight of his question pressing down on me. I didn’t want to admit the truth, didn’t want to say aloud what I’d been avoiding since the night at Toby’s. But Jude wasn’t going to let me off the hook that easily.

“Look at me,” he said softly, his hand reaching for mine. His touch was warm, familiar, and it made my heart ache in ways I hadn’t expected. “You know we’ve never been good at hiding from each other.”

“Why are you doing this, Jude? Why now?” I sighed, my voice barely a whisper.

“Because I can’t stand seeing you with him,” Jude admitted, his voice raw. “I can’t stand knowing that I let you slip away when I never stopped loving you.”

The words hit me like a punch to the gut. I pulled my hand away, standing up abruptly.

“This isn’t fair! You don’t get to just come back into my life and say things like that!”

Jude stood too, his eyes never leaving mine.

“I know it’s not fair, but when has anything between us ever been fair? We’re a mess, y/n, but we’re our mess. And I can’t keep pretending like I’m okay with you being with someone else when I’m not.”

I turned away, wiping the tears that had started to fall.

“What am I supposed to do, Jude? You left. You were the one who walked away.”

“I know,” he said, his voice breaking. “And I hate myself for it. But I’m here now. I’m trying to fix it.”

“Fix it?” I laughed bitterly. “You can’t just show up and expect everything to go back to the way it was.”

“I don’t expect that,” Jude replied quickly. “But I also know that what we had was real. It still is. And I think you know that too.”

“You can’t just come back into my life, drop that on me, and expect me to just—what? Choose you? After everything?” I turned to face him, anger and hurt swirling inside me.

“Why not?” he asked, stepping closer, his eyes dark with emotion. “Why not choose me?”

“Because it’s not that simple!” I shouted, my voice cracking. “I’m with Jake now. He’s good for me. He’s—” I stopped, my words faltering. He’s safe. He’s steady. He’s not you.

“Jake’s not the problem, y/n. He’s a good guy, I’m sure. But you’re with him because it’s easy. Because it’s not complicated. But does he make you feel alive?” Jude’s jaw tightened.

I hated him for asking that. I hated him because he was right. Jake was safe, but Jude—Jude made my heart race, made me feel things I wasn’t ready to confront. It wasn’t fair, not to Jake, not to anyone, but the truth was there, undeniable.

“What do you want from me, Jude?” Tears blurred my vision as I whispered.

He reached out, gently cupping my face in his hands, his touch soft but full of urgency.

“I want you to stop lying to yourself. I want you to admit that you’re still in love with me.”

“Jude…” I shook my head, my tears spilling over.

Before I could finish, he kissed me—soft at first, then deeper, more intense, as if he was pouring everything he couldn’t say into that one kiss. And damn it, I kissed him back. For a moment, everything else fell away. The confusion, the guilt, the fear—it all disappeared, leaving only the two of us and the undeniable connection that had always been there.

When we finally pulled apart, I was breathless, my heart racing. I stared at him, my mind a whirlwind of emotions.

“I can’t do this,” I whispered, stepping back, my head spinning. “This isn’t fair to Jake.”

“I know,” Jude said softly, his voice full of regret. “But it’s not fair to either of us if we keep pretending.”

I turned away, my chest heaving with sobs I was trying to hold back.

“What do you want me to do, Jude? Just break his heart? Leave him?”

“If you’re not in love with him, then yes,” Jude said, his voice steady but full of pain. “Because staying with him when your heart isn’t his—that’s not fair to him either.”

I knew he was right. Deep down, I knew. But it didn’t make it any easier.

That night, I made the hardest decision of my life. Breaking things off with Jake was brutal. He didn’t understand, and how could he? I barely understood it myself. The look of hurt in his eyes when I told him I wasn’t in love with him was something I’d never forget.

“I thought we were good together,” he said quietly, his voice thick with emotion. “I thought you were happy.”

“I was,” I admitted, tears streaming down my face. “But it’s not enough, Jake. You deserve someone who loves you the way you deserve to be loved.”

He didn’t say anything, just nodded, his face a mixture of sadness and confusion. It was the right thing to do, but that didn’t make it hurt any less.

After the call, I felt hollow. I’d hurt someone I cared about deeply, and the weight of that guilt was crushing. But beneath it all, there was also a strange sense of relief. Like a burden I didn’t even know I was carrying had finally been lifted.

When I turned to find Jude waiting outside my apartment, his expression was a mixture of hope and apprehension. He opened his mouth to speak, but I held up my hand, silencing him.

“Just… hold me,” I whispered.

And without another word, he pulled me into his arms, holding me tightly as the weight of everything settled around us. It wasn’t going to be easy—nothing about us ever was—but for the first time in a long time, I felt like I wasn’t running anymore.

We stood there, in the quiet of the night, and I knew. I’d chosen Jude—chaos and all—because no matter how much it hurt, no matter how messy things got, he was the one person who made me feel alive.

And that was something I couldn’t escape, even if I tried.

[bellalaufeyson69]

Peter Quill x Reader

Enemies to lovers (sort of)

Breakfast

(Spoiler if reading this next sentence! Takes place after GOTG and before GOTG3. Gamora is with the Ravagers and is no longer with Peter in any way. Also meaning that as confirmed by James Gunn, we the reader can understand what Groot says because we’ve been with him so long 🥹)

Description: Quill and Yn hardly ever get along and it’s gotten on everyone’s nerves. Nebula comes up with a solution to the problem by making them spend time together in hopes of working out the differences.

Wc ♡ 3.5k

Masterlist ♡

————

Rays of sunlight burst through the wide front windows of the Milano as the team sat around the table waiting for Groot to finish the breakfast. We all took a straw from a hat daily to see who had the duty, though when any one of us pulled the straw and saw it said groot, we’d discretely pretended it said someone else’s name. It wasn’t that we didn’t trust him to be a good cook, it was just that he can get a little… distracted.

“What day is it today?” The tree pondered, looking over to Mantis awaiting an answer all the while completely unaware that a twig from his arm has now caught fire from the stove.

I was quick to catch this and jumped from my spot to put it out, though as I ran to help him I came crashing into a tall, decently sweaty Peter. “Common Quill!” I hissed before turning back to Groot only to be halted by his annoying voice.

“Oh like that was my fault,” he complained throwing his hands in the air and looking to the team for reassurance yet getting none as they tended to zone Peter and I’s arguments out.

“Maybe if you payed any attention to anything you ever do!” I snapped turning back to face him feeling a rise of irritation come over me causing me to completely forget why I’d even got up in the first place. “Also, you’re disgusting. We have showers for a reason, you literally soaked my arm in your nasty sweat,” I made a disturbed expression whilst wiping the warm wet liquid onto my pants.

He scoffed with an eye roll while taking a glance at the ceiling. “Im sorry if I get a little sweaty when I work out, it’s natural, and I was going to take a shower, not that it’s any of your business; after we ate breakfast.”

“How convenient, so we can all join together and eat while inhaling your B.O.”

“Oh would you two please just shut up! I’m sick of all the incessant bickering you make me want to rip my ears off,” Nebula intruded from beside Groot. She and Rocket had been busy helping Groot put out the small flame that Peter and I had long forgotten about. “You’ve been irritating because Gamora’s gone, and you’ve been a living-breathing brat ever since you failed the last mission,” she called out our behavior almost in a motherly way. She’s been weirdly diplomatic when dealing with us instead of just telling us to go yell at each other somewhere else.

With a huff I went back to my seat and sank in the chair feeling a tinge of embarrassment overwhelm me at the memory of that last mission. I had never failed before, and this time put everyone at danger because I couldn’t control my emotions and attacked a guard too soon. I got a lecture about it from pretty much everyone except Mantis and Groot. That experience definitely hurt my pride quite a lot, so sometimes I might have a little extra sass to try and build it back up. “At least mines a real reason to be acting like a jerk,” Peter mumbled while sitting down in the seat farthest from me.

I snickered to myself at his comment. Sometimes he can be a real idiot. “You realize you called yourself a jerk too right? Nice one Einstein.” I clapped back not willing to let him win this argument, or really any in the future. Peter Quill just always has to be the leader, the cool guy, always right. Not when it comes to me.

“That’s it!” Nebula shouted in pure aggravation. She stomped over to the both of us and grabbed one of our arms with a decent strength considering she’s part bot. “You two are on breakfast duty, and if I hear you argue once while doing it then you’re both gonna be stuck cleaning the engine for two months,” she snapped, shoving us both toward the fridge. We often all had chores to do but we made it fun by having a spin wheel to see who has to do what. Cleaning the engine was always the worst one, but what made it easier was knowing you only had to do it once and then you could spin the wheel next chore week.

“Who said you were in charge? I think you’re forgetting this is MY ship,” Peter defended while crossing his arms.

“Yeah,” I added confidently. Who the heck is Nebula to tell us what to do.

“Nah I agree with that. You two are the most annoying a-holes I’ve ever had to share a space with. Mantis and Drax don’t even argue as much as you do,” Rocket chimed in matter of factly.

“It is true! I would much rather sit and listen to Mantis’s pathetic stories than hear you two fight anymore,” Drax said as he stood tall and serious.

Mantis glanced over to him with a bubbly smile. “Awhh thank you!”

��You are welcome idiot,” Drax replied with a pleasant smile. In his mind he was being respectful, and Mantis didn’t know any better.

Nebula turned her head back to us with an expression as of saying ‘that’s what I thought’. “So it’s settled. You two are gonna work this stupid stuff out, and if we hear so much as a bad tone, then you get stuck with Engine duty,”

We’d both surfaced a similar response between grumbles and eye rolls, yet had no choice but to accept our fate. Majority rules is how this ship functions, which was a feature I loved when it was in regard to someone else. Soon the rest of the group piled out, rocket on his way out mumbled on about how we’d better be quick. I gave a short glance to Peter which was a mistake as he’d so very annoyingly been standing there sifting through songs his Walkman and earbuds. Of course he’d tune me out, I wouldn’t be surprised if he just stood here the whole time too.

I started gathering some of ingredients and pans we’d need, already feeling angry at the fact that he hadn’t even attempted to move to help me. This was a clear indicator that my assumption of his laziness was likely going to be right. I semi aggressively dropped down the container of bacon onto the counter letting my current mood take the control of my motion. I grabbed the unused pan and placed it down and began putting strips of bacon on it. “You’re doing that wrong,” Peter softly mentioned. He seemed tired, I wasn’t sure if it was tired of the arguing or just in general but the tone definitely helped ease my anger a little bit.

With a huff I turned to look over at him and was surprised to find him standing so close, hovering just inches from my frame looking down at the pan, then making eye contact with me. His expression was blank, and calm which confused me. “I’m putting the strips out, how else am I supposed to do it?” I felt my brow still furrowed down in the looming frustration I felt before. We always fight, and one of us always takes it too far, those are times that make it hard to ever not be annoyed at the man’s presence.

He took an earbud out and let it hang by the cord before stepping closer until his body was pressed against my side. I stayed long enough to feel his warmth until I realize the normal thing to do would be to step out of his way, so that I did. Part of me wished he’d do it again, that he’d give me an excuse to accept his embrace. If I hate him so much why did that little ounce of intimacy feel so nice? A confusing mix of emotions. “You don’t put them all at once only do half so they cook more evenly,” he explained whilst taking off some of the already placed bacon. “Also put them folded like this so that- F*CK! AGH!” He’d instantly jumped back from the grizzling pan holding his hand in pain. “Stupid grease, ow!” He complained to the pan as if it were alive which made me laugh quite a lot. The whole scene was funny really.

I hadn’t noticed that through my laughing he’d been looking at me smiling ever so slightly, until I caught him, in which he looked back at the pan. “Are you alright there captain?” I amusingly teased his super strong title, while instinctively placing a caring hand on his shoulder with a soft rub. The moment I placed it I felt the mortified realization of my actions and ripped my hand back off. Too embarrassed to comment on it I’d redirected my focus to making eggs in the other pan hoping he wouldn’t mention it.

I cooked in silence for a little while until I felt as if I was being watched. Hesitantly I turned my gaze to Peter and surely enough was met with him staring right back at me. He looked to be deep in thought until I caught him when his lips curled into an arrogant grin. “Oh no no no, are you kidding me? You’re tellin’ me you can’t even cook eggs either? What can you do?” He provoked in amusement making me roll my eyes.

I waved my hands in the air in defeat. “Fine! You do it yourself then.” I stepped aside from the counter and began to walk away until I felt a warm hand take a light grip on my forearm and pull me backward. I stumbled back to my position in front of the pan where Peter was beside me holding my arm.

“Relax,” he soothed while slowly inching closer, it almost seemed like he was hoping his movements were slow enough for me not to notice. “You’re not gonna get any better with that attitude,” he continued, his hands slowly brushing my hips while I was too distracted listening to what he was saying. He moved cautiously almost trying to catch me in the distraction. “So much attitude all the time,”

I scoffed at his comment. “Attitude? I don’t have attitude, you’re the one who’s always moping around making little comments at everything.” his fingers now wrapped around my waist as he stood behind me, his breath tickling my shoulder.

“Let me show you,” he furthered, completely ignoring what I’d said and going on with his own point.

I’d attempted at pushing his hands off me. “No, I don’t need your help Peter,”

He stood there his grip strong as he looked down at me with a little ��huh’. After the death glare I’d given he kindly explained the cause of the sound. “You called me Peter,” he pointed out with a grin.

I felt taken off guard at that comment and honestly a little flustered. I always made it a point to call him by his last name, I felt that first names were for people I respected. Why did that slip so easily? “I was just distracted…” I trailed avoiding his gaze and looking back to the pan. “Are we gonna cook the eggs or not?” I redirected the conversation away from the tension as I didn’t know how to react. My heart fluttered at his proximity but my mind reminds me of our dynamic. We’ve never got along let alone been close in this way.

He took my cue to move on and eagerly grabbed the spatula, handed it to me then paused and hesitantly slipped his hand on the back of my own. His other hand rested on my waist still as he guided the cooking. “It’s all about the wrist” he spoke softly.

I let out a breathe as I stood stiffly. I wasn’t sure what to do with this but I didn’t hate it. In fact it was quite the opposite. “This isn’t going to help you get over Gamora,” I bluntly stated without really thinking about it. I didn’t intend on being rude and my tone pushed that. Truth is that must’ve been an insecurity festered up. He’s a flirt and I can’t be his distraction.

He was silent for a moment but his position didn’t budge. “Why are you always so quick to push me away?” He quietly asked sincerely. He seemed hurt which was the last thing I expected from him. Was I reading our dynamic wrong? I couldn’t have been I mean we fight constantly.

“I don’t-“

“Don’t.” He interrupted. “Be real with me, just this one time,” he took the spatula from my hand and placed it on the table before grabbing the hand back again and bringing it to my waist to hold there. “What can I do to fix you and me?”

I didn’t know how to respond to that whatsoever because I didn’t know what that meant. You and me. As in no more arguing? As in becoming friends? As in something more? It doesn’t help that Peter is known for his flirting. “I-“ I sighed. “What do you mean?” I felt myself submitting to his touch as my body relaxed against his.

“Last weekend, we’re sitting on the couch. My arm was up around the top of it and if I moved it down just a little bit it would’ve literally been around your shoulder. Everything’s fine we’re all watching a movie, and I make a bad joke about your favorite character because I think it’s cute when you’re mad and you storm off cursing at me.” I couldn’t see the point he was pushing for but found myself blushing at the compliment. “Can’t you tell I do those things to get close to you? We don’t talk what so ever and the most I get from you is if I pull it out of you by making a dumb comment,” he explained his head now stooped closer to my shoulder, resting slightly against the side of my face and neck. “I know I can be childish, or a jerk but I don’t know what else to do when all I want to do is talk to you,”

“Oh really?” I perked up a little bit ready to make my point taking a step away from Peter. “What about the time we were here drinking and you made a comment about how I was ‘acting different to impress people’? How romantic,” I poked feeling his logic start to crumble.

He let out a huff. “You’re not remembering that the way I am and yeah I shouldn’t have said that but you spent the entire night all over that xandarian guy,” he expressed stepping forward to grab my hand and pull me back in. “You know how much I wanted to punch that dude straight in the jaw every time he touched you? Why should he get to kiss you?” He seemed to be getting offended just remembering the night, and honestly a little heated.

“Peter,” I softly tried to intercept.

“No, I’ve been here this entire time. For years it’s been me here with you, we go on missions, we’ve explored new planets, had ups and downs, and I have to sit there and watch some guy kiss you? Some guy who just came along that same day, put no effort into his relationship with you and got you,” he rambled on with pain in his eyes. I hadn’t seen him show that much emotion over someone since gamora. “It’s not fair,”

I felt horrible for not seeing this sooner. I couldn’t help but rethink everything but at the same time he definitely went about this in the wrong way to get my attention. He got it alright but it was never good. To me he was just constantly nitpicking me and all the things I liked and it drove me crazy. I guess that’s the fault in miscommunication. A lot of the stuff was pretty dumb to get genuinely mad at, often he’d just tease my favorite movies or comment on my fighting skills. Nonetheless in this moment I felt truly sad for him. “I didn’t know…” he was focused very intently on every word I said and I could just tell the anticipation anxiety was eating him up. In reality this was a confession of his feelings. “If I would’ve known…” I trialed off not wanting to press further as I’ve never been very good at expressing my feelings.

“If you would’ve known then what?” He softly nudged me to continue. He took our interlocked hands and held it on his chest.

“I don’t know, things would’ve been different. I didn’t know that’s how you felt I just thought you hated me honestly,” I admitted awkwardly.

He exhaled with a frown. “I could never hate you, and that mission…“ he got softer watching my expression because he knew this topic was sore for me. “It didn’t matter to me that we failed, all I could think about was how I could’ve lost you,” he admitted keeping eye contact as he spoke. “I can’t lose anyone else, and I just miss what we used to be like.”

This confused me as what he’s referencing is our friendship back when he was with Gamora. Is he trying to say he wants to be friends or is he being romantic? He’s so hard to read sometimes, but his actions are telling me romance. Clearly he could see the confusion etched on my face because he clarified all my questions without ever having to hear them. “You know, how close we were. Cracking jokes, playing pranks on the rest of them,” he explained. “I want that. But… something a little different…” he seemed a little more awkward now like he didn’t know how to word what he felt.

“How different?” I asked feeling my heart pick up just a little bit. Perhaps MAYBE the reason I got so mad at everything Peter did was because MAYBE I valued his opinion, because MAYBE I was sort of always secretly into him.

He perked up at the question surprised I hadn’t shot it down right then and there. “Well,” he started while taking my hand and giving me a dramatic twirl. The guy is smooth. “Maybe a little romance, I’m thinking Jim and Pam,” he referenced my favorite Earth show as I’ve forced him to watch it after our trip there.

A mischievous smile found my lips at that. “Ohhhh, so someone was lying about not liking the show?” I teased in a ‘I told you so’ kinda way.

He chuckled at my call out. “I told ya Y/N, I just love to mess with you.”

“Hmm, fine but you have to watch rom coms with me,” I laid out my terms matter of factly.

His eyes widened. “Fine? Fine what? Fine to the romance?” He double checked as I hadn’t made myself all that clear.

“I GUESS,” I dramatically excepted in a fake disinterested tone.

“Well then Mrs. Y/N” he pulled me into him yet again wrapping his arms around my torso, though this time I let my hands rest on his chest. “I’m gonna romance the shit outta you,” he grinned that same cocky little grin that used to make me wanna smack him.

I rolled my eyes at his over confidence but was thrown off at him leaning in closer to me. I couldn’t find anything sassy or witty to remark because now all my focus was on the fact that Peter Quill’s lips were so close to mine. The lips of always secretly wanted to kiss. I let out a breath feeling the tension before he’d made the move to fully go in. He kissed me softly, and slowly. His hand cupped my cheek and when he pulled away he gave a real genuine smile.

“You’ve gotta be shittin’ me” rocket yelled out from the doorway next to a very shocked Nebula.

“I give them a week tops,” she jokingly murmured but I could tell she was genuinely happy for us.

Rocket groaned from his place clearly fed up with the fact that he’d suffered through our bickering just for us to end up into each other. “If I’d known all you two jackasses needed to do was bang it out- WHY ARE THE EGGS BLACK?” He ran over to the stove to turn off the switch as if that would save the already far gone breakfast. “that’s TWO breakfasts down the drain, that’s it! I’m done! We’re getting fast food from knowhere,” he flailed his hands in the air and walked out of the room in defeat making the rest of us chuckle.

“I’m glad you two figured it out finally,” Nebula gave a small smile. “Really thought you were blind,” she dryly joked.

Peter and I looked at each other in confusion for a moment before smiling and accepting the fact that apparently we’d been obvious about our unknown feelings. With that she left the room to follow Rocket to the controls of the ship to fly us all to knowhere. This left Peter and I alone once more, he stared down at me in amusement. “I knew you were into me.”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes for the millionth time, slipped my fingers into his and dragged him out to the main area of the ship preparing for the rest of the teams reactions.

—————

My first Peter Quill fan fic! Sorta rushed so I apologize for any errors! Let me know if I should make more!

[pickingupmymercedes]

Let me go - Lewis Hamilton (NSFW)

Part of 1K Jukebox Event

song: Let me go - Lou Val - @goldenroutledge (if it breaks your heart, like it did mine, she's partly to blame 🥺👀 not really though)

pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader!

genre: Angst with hints of smut (mostly angst, like rip your heart open one)

wordcount: +2k

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!

EXPLICIT CONTENT UNDER, -18 DO NOT INTERACT

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The room is dim, bathed in the soft and muted shadows of the late afternoon.

My skin feels hot against the cool sheets, his body pressing down on mine like we never left this place—like we never really let each other go.

But we did. Didn’t we?

I shouldn’t be here.

I know I shouldn’t be here, but my hands are already tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, my breath coming in shallow, uneven gasps.

His lips move against my neck, slow and deliberate, like he’s trying to memorize every inch of me all over again.

Has he forgotten already?

Because to me, it feels all too familiar. Every touch, every sigh, every whispered breath between us—it’s like muscle memory, pulling me back into something we swore we’d left behind.

The way he moves, the way he knows exactly where to touch, where to press— a cruel reminder of everything we once were. Everything we could’ve been.

But we’re not that, not anymore.

I can’t help the noise that escapes me as his hands slide down my sides, his fingers digging into my skin just enough to make me shudder.

It’s like he’s trying to pull me back into the past—back into a time when things were easier, when it was just us, when we didn’t know any better.

When we still believed this could work.

And his weight starts to feel like a sum of it all—the months, the distance, the end—but I pushed it to the back of my mind.

Because right now, all that should matter is how his body feels against mine, the way his breath hitches when I drag my nails across his back, the way my name sounds when it falls from his lips.

But my mind keeps pulling me away, even as my body responds to his every touch.

And maybe it’s that I know, deep down, I know this isn’t right.

This isn’t what we need, what I need. This isn’t going to fix anything.

It’s not going to change the fact that we’re broken.

He lifts his head, his eyes meeting mine, and for a second, I think I see it—the same doubt, the same hesitation that’s been eating at me.

But then his lips crash against mine, and it’s gone, replaced by a desperation I also recognize all too well.

Desperation to hold on. To feel something. To pretend. Even if just for tonight, that we haven’t lost everything.

His hands are on my hips now, pulling me closer, deeper, and I arch into him, my body betraying the part of me that’s already starting to crumble.

I gasp as he presses his forehead against mine, his breath ragged, his hands trembling slightly as they move over my skin.

“Y/n,” he breathes, his voice barely a whisper.

It’s not a question, it’s not a plea, it’s not even a promise like it used to sound—it’s just my name.

But it’s enough to unravel me, at least for just a moment.

I close my eyes, biting my lip as I feel him enter me, my heart pounding in my chest, almost matching the rhythm of his thrusts.

It feels so good. Too good.

And that’s the problem, isn’t it? It’s too easy to fall back into this—to fall back into him.

But as my body responds, my mind keeps screaming.

This is why it didn’t work. This is why it’ll never work.

This? This is all we ever had. Just this fire, this passion that burns so bright it blinds us to everything else.

We were always good at this—at losing ourselves in each other, at pretending the outside world didn’t exist when we were tangled up in each other like this.

But we were never good at the rest of it all.

And it was not fair. To either of us.

I bite down on my lip harder, trying to keep myself from falling apart. I can feel his breath against my ear, the way his hands are gripping me tighter, like he’s afraid if he lets go, I’ll disappear.

And maybe I will. Maybe I should.

“Fuck,” he groans, his voice rough, raw. I can hear the need in it, the way he’s holding on by a thread, and it makes my chest tighten because I know how this ends.

We’ve been here before, haven’t we?

I press my hands to his chest, feeling the rapid beat of his heart beneath my palms.

“Lewis,” I whisper, my voice breaking on his name. I can feel the tears prickling at the corners of my eyes, and I try to blink them away, but it’s too late.

He doesn’t stop. He can’t. And I don’t ask him to.

Because I don’t want him to stop. Not yet.

His hand slides up, cupping my face, his thumb brushing over my cheek as he leans down to kiss me again, softer this time. Almost tender.

Like he’s trying to make up for something—like he’s trying to say everything we never could in words.

I kiss him back, my hands slipping up to his neck, pulling him closer, and for a second I try and make a gamble with myself, to let my heart believe that this could be enough. That maybe, just maybe, this time it’ll be different.

But it won’t.

Because as much as I want to stay in this moment, as much as I want to pretend that we can make this work, I know the truth.

We’re not good for each other. We never were.

I break the kiss, my chest heaving as I try to catch my breath, my hands still gripping his shoulders like he’s the only thing keeping me grounded.

And maybe he is. The one thing holding me together right now.

And I can feel the cracks. I can feel myself starting to break, and I know that if I don’t let go, it’s only going to hurt more come the morning.

I force my eyes to open, and for the first time, I see it—really see it.

The sadness in his own gaze, the way his brow furrows like he’s trying to understand why this always feels so right and so wrong at the same time.

And it hits me.

We’re both holding onto something that’s already gone. We’re both trying to find something in each other that we’ll never be able to give.

My throat tightens, and I swallow hard, trying to fight back the lump in my chest.

“This isn’t going to fix us” I whisper, my voice barely audible over the sound of our ragged breaths, our moans.

He stills for a moment, his forehead resting against mine, his breath shaky. “I know,” he says quietly, his voice rough. “I know.”

But he doesn’t stop. And neither do I.

Because even though we know this is the end, we’re still here.

We’re still clinging to whatever pieces are left, trying to make sense of something that never really made sense in the first place.

He moves inside me, slow and deep, and I close my eyes again, letting myself feel it.

One last time. One last time before we let each other go for good.

I can feel him start to tremble, his hands tightening on my hips, his breath coming in short, uneven gasps, and I know he’s close.

I know we’re both close, but it’s not enough. It’s never going to be enough.

I wrap my arms around him, pulling him down against me, and for a moment, we just hold each other, our bodies moving together in a rhythm that’s devastatingly familiar.

I can feel the tears slipping down my cheeks now, and I don’t even bother trying to hide them. Because this is it.

This is the last time. And I want to remember it, even if it hurts.

I need to remember how it hurts.

His lips brush against my temple, and I feel his breath hitch as he buries his face in my neck, his body tensing as he reaches his release.

And as I follow him over the edge, my own body trembling beneath his, I feel what he had crashing down on me.

We lie there in the silence, our bodies still tangled together, our breaths slowing as the reality of what we’ve just done sinks in.

I pull away first, my chest aching, my heart breaking all over again.

And this time, it had to be the last. It had to be goodbye. For good.

He shifts next to me, the warmth of his body slipping away as he props himself up on his elbow.

His hand hesitates, hovering just above my skin, like he’s not sure if he should touch me again. Eventually, he lets it fall gently onto my shoulder, a soft gesture, but one that feels heavy with everything unsaid.

“Y/n...” His voice is quiet, and there’s something raw in it. Like he’s searching for the right words, but we both know there aren’t any.

I don’t answer at first.

My eyes are fixed on the ceiling, but my mind is miles away, retracing every moment that got us here—every fight, every kiss, every time we tried to make it work and failed.

“I can’t keep doing this” I whisper, barely able to recognize my own voice. It sounds so small, so fragile.

His hand tightens slightly on my shoulder, like he’s holding on to the last thread of us. “Y/n…” he says, and for a moment, the silence that follows feels like the heaviest thing in the world.

I turn to face him, my throat tightening as I meet his gaze. His eyes are tired, sad, filled with the same sense of defeat I’m feeling.

But they’re still familiar, still the same eyes that made me fall in love once. And that’s what hurts the most.

“Why do we do this?” I ask, my voice breaking, the weight of the question too much to bear. “Why do we keep coming back knowing it’s going to hurt to fall apart again?”

He lets out a long, shaky breath, his hand sliding down my arm, stopping at my wrist. “Because it’s all we know,” he murmurs.

His thumb brushes over my pulse, and I wonder if he can feel how fast my heart is racing, how scared I am of losing him. All over again.

“We used to be good at this,” he presses, his voice soft, almost like he’s talking to himself. “We used to be good together.”

I close my eyes for a moment, fighting back the tears that are threatening to spill over again. “Don’t lie to yourself, Lewis” I manage to say, though it comes out as more of a broken exhale than anything else. “It never worked.”

His silence is deafening, and when I open my eyes again, he’s still watching me, his expression unreadable.

“I thought—” He starts, then stops himself, shaking his head. “I don’t know what I thought.”

I swallow hard, feeling the familiar ache in my chest. “You thought this time would be different,” I finish for him. It’s not an accusation, just a truth we’ve both been running from.

His hand drops from my wrist, and suddenly, the distance between us feels enormous. “Yeah,” he says, his voice barely above a whisper. “I did.”

I sit up slowly, pulling the sheet with me as if it can shield me from everything that just happened.

“We’re never going to fix this, are we?” I ask, not because I don’t know the answer, but because I need to hear him say it.

I need to hear him admit it too.

He sits up too, running a hand through his loose braids, his jaw tight. “No,” he finally says, his voice heavy with resignation. “We’re not.”

It should bring me some kind of closure, hearing him admit it out loud.

But it just feels like another crack, another piece of us falling apart, a gigantic one.

I let out a shaky breath, trying to hold myself together. “I wish—” I stop myself, because I don’t even know what I’m about to say.

I wish we could make this work? I wish things were different? I wish I didn’t still love him, even after all this?

He looks at me, his eyes softer now, like he’s waiting for me to finish the thought.

“I wish I didn’t still hope” I finally say, the words tumbling out before I can stop them. And there it is—my heart laid bare, vulnerable in a way I didn’t want to be, not to him.

He looks away, his jaw clenching, and I know I’ve hit something. “Tell me about it” he finally whispers, his voice barely audible.

We both know what’s coming next, and yet, neither of us moves. It’s like we’re stuck in this limbo, between holding on and letting go, between loving each other and knowing it’s over.

“I should go,” I finally take the cue, even though it feels like the last thing I want to do.

But, staying now? That’s only going to make it worse.

His hand brushes against mine, the smallest, briefest touch, enough for me to feel the electricity.

“Stay,” he says softly, almost like a plea.

I look at him, my heart breaking all over again. “We can’t keep doing this, Lewis” I say, shaking my head. “It’s not fair to either of us”

He flinches, like my words physically hurt him. “I know” he says quietly, his voice full of defeat. “But... just for tonight.”

My chest tightens at the thought. One more night.

One more time to pretend that we can still be something, that we haven’t already lost everything.

But for what? I couldn’t keep tearing myself apart like this.

“I can’t,” I whisper, my voice barely holding together.

He doesn’t say anything. He just looks at me, his eyes full of that same sadness, that same regret that’s been hanging over us for months.

And then I know it’s really over. For good this time.

I stand up, pulling the sheet tighter around myself, trying to protect whatever’s left of me as I grab my clothes. “Goodbye, Lewis,” I say, my voice breaking as I turn toward the door.

“Y/n—” He starts, but I don’t let him finish. I can’t. Because if I do, I might never leave.

______________________________________________________________

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[cremateyourlife]

Endeavor sucks so here's a rant cause i've seen too many people say he isn't that bad lately

(CW / TW for abuse, ptsd mention) going in best order of episode events, but also including manga spoilers (sections are indented so you can skip the manga parts)-

this is pulling from source material but also very opinioned based. I get people saying he's an interesting character (kinda) but i hate seeing people excuse what he did because "aww he feels bad now." like him if you want but hating on other's for not liking him is just stupid.

it will also be long, but I have a lot of thoughts, hope at least some people agree with me lmao

i started typing this around when ch 390 came out so i know this has all been said before but with the new season coming out and like i said more people defending him i wanted to finally post this

"The Boy Born With Everything."

"That kid of mine will beat you some day, I'll make sure of it. That's why I created him."

Endeavor admitting he only had kids to be heroes, ones better than All Might, shows he does not truly care about his children. He only wanted them because he couldn't handle his failures. He sees them as a tool, not as his own kids, not as people. That's obvious in almost everything he says to and about Shoto.

And while I hate him, he isn’t a failure hero wise. He’s literally the # 2 hero out of however many hundreds there are. He’s simply mad he can’t beat AM? What is he a child who thinks he deserves everything he wants because he’s never been told no?

When Shouto finally used his fire Endeavor yelled about him finally realizing his “purpose.” More proof he sees his children, Shouto specifically, as tools. They aren't humans to him, they don't have their own feelings or goals, they are a means to an end. A means to his end. Shouto overcoming his own guilt (guilt caused by Endeavor) doesn’t matter to him. What matters is he now feels Shouto is worth something.

Class 1A vs 1B (i dont remember the exact episode names)

the flashback we get after Tokoyami talks to Shouto we hear Endeavor say, “Touya was close�� Come on Shouto you’re the only one who can master this move.” Endeavor was putting the weight of his dead son's “failure” on the shoulder of his 5 (?) yr old kid. Making the kid who just lost his older sibling feel like he has to be better, or he could die too.

“Quit pretending to be weak.” Bro that is your very young kid. He is weak. Train him early, sure, whatever, but this is just abuse. You aren’t training him. Pushing your kid to the point of throwing up isn’t just training. It isn’t him being weak. It’s abuse.

I know this show is very flashback heavy in the first place but I really do interpret all the flashbacks Shouto gets of his dad as PTSD. Often times when fighting and in battle, after getting hit, he has memories of his dad. Sure, this could just be his motivation but I think it’s more than that.

"The Unforgiven."

"I thought if I saved you, that you might never say a word to me ever again." Aka Endeavor saying, "I should save my son, so he maybe likes me again." Natsuo my beloved. I love when he is an ass to his dad. His own son is saying he could never forgive him because why does he "need to be the one to make an active effort to change?" and that even though Endeavor wants to make up what does he think he can do now? Natsuo will always see his dad as the one who killed his older brother, and I don't blame him. Because that is who Endeavor is.

"He literally says in the episode he doesn't want forgiveness." And? He doesn't deserve it. He doesn't need to make Natsuo feel better for hating him when he has every right to after what his dad did to him and his entire family.

Sure, this episode is us seeing a "change" in Endeavor because he wants to be better, however, this is my post so I will say why I have a problem with this lmao. When did we see Endeavor start to change? After he became the number one hero. After he realized people were going to be looking at him even more.

The only good thing he does is realize that in order for his family to be happy he cannot be in the picture.

"Dabi's Dance"

Not including all the scenes I want to bc if I did, I'd just insert the entire ep lmao

"Oh, but he is changing. He regrets his actions." Why didn't he have regrets years ago when, to everyone's knowledge, his 13 yr old son had died? Endeavor didn't start feeling "guilty" until he became the number 1 hero. (as stated before)

And yes, we see and hear how upset Endeavor was over Touya’s death, but did he change? Did he stop being abusive and neglectful? Did he apologize and see his faults? Nope. So how bad did he really feel.

Dabi himself called him out on this during "Dabi’s Dance" when he said, “Is that why you finally decided to try to bond with your children? Keep looking toward the future and you can be a better man?"

On top of it all, Endeavor didn’t even step in to fight. Yes, he was shocked seeing his dead son in front of him again, but do you not think Shouto was shocked seeing his dead brother? He still fought.

Chapter 350

Many people say Dabi was born in the fire. However, that isn't true. Touya didn't die in that fire. He died and Dabi was born 3 years later when he went back home and had seemingly been forgotten about. He woke up in a strange place, covered in burns and sounding completely different. He wanted to go home. He wanted to apologize for all the awful things he said. He was told that he has been severely injured and once again that he was a failure. He was scared and alone. So, he goes home thinking he will be accepted with open arms, that maybe everything would be better, and everyone will celebrate yet he gets there, and his dad is still the same. Abusing his siblings and his mom is gone. Not only that but to Touya's POV, he has been replaced by his younger brother.

Plus does that not show you who Endeavor is as a person? That even after pushing his son to death he didn’t change.

"The Wrong Way to Put Out a Fire"

i won't include any clips or panels from this bc it is very intense and while this post will talk about it i still don't want to include those pictures

Going ahead and getting this out of the way because people love bringing it up for some reason, while what Rei did to Shouto was awful, obviously, it is not even close to being on the same level as the things Endeavor did to the entire Todofam. Rei was scared to look her own kids in the eyes because when she did, she saw Endeavor. She saw Endeavor's rage and feared for her safety, and in a moment of a clear panic attack and mental break defended herself, because look at Rei and tell me that woman doesn't have PTSD.

If the entirety of this ep didn't make you hate Endeavor and see he is incapable of change then idk what to tell you. Him convincing his very young child that his sole purpose is to be the next number 1 hero. He then finds out his kid physically won't be able to do that he tells him that he simply isn't good instead of sitting down and talking to him.

Buying Rei because he wanted to create his perfect child, then forcing her to be some baby machine. (Random fact that always haunts me is that Touya and Fuyumi were born in the same year.) Abusing Rei repeatedly. As well as, hitting her in front of the kids with a very young Shouto between them while the other two hide in a corner. Blaming Rei for Toya continuing to train when it is his own fault. Then on top of that, not going to Sekoto peak. He could have shown up for 2 seconds but no.

We also see another instance of Rei seeing Endeavor in her own kids when she tried to stop Toya from going and training like when Shouto came to check on her when he was little.

When Touya had a breakdown and tried to kill Shouto, instead of seeing the pain Toya was feeling and realizing his own mistakes, Endeavor just isolated Shouto from his siblings. Didn’t let him play with them, by what Natsuo said at dinner he monitored what he ate and when.

Also, I don’t wanna her “Dabi was insane from the start” after trying to kill Shouto. That was an abused child, turned neglected child, asking to be seen. Begging to be looked at. He, like Rei later on, snapped. He realized that if he wanted to be seen then the only one his dad cared about needed to be gone

Chapter 390.

Shouto finally shows up and brings Dabi down. Somehow Dabi is still alive and this is where he states that everyone, including him, should die. Endeavor then apologizes. Sure, he apologized, better late then never, whatever. However, it just really feels like he is speaking over Dabi. Dabi could be dying, could be saying his last words, and Endeavor starts talking. I will say I like how he acknowledges exactly what he did in some way. That he "pushed Rei past her breaking point", "put everything on Fuyumi's shoulders", and "abandoned Natsuo." It just all feels so empty and really doesn't mean anything with his entire family burned and scarred and Dabi lying on the ground, as well as Shouto passing out.

Endeavor’s “I’m sorry” only goes so far when his son is lying almost burned to death yelling for them all to die, Shouto over working himself to stop Dabi when even his dad couldn’t, and his non hero family standing on the battlefield as well.

In conclusion, Endeavor is an abuser. He pushed his 13 yr old son to death, pushed his wife past her breaking point then sent her away, neglected his other two children because they weren't what he wanted, and only felt bad after he achieved his dream. After he got everything he wanted despite it being built on a broken home and the victims he created along the way.

Like I said if you want to like him that's fine, but don't get mad at others when they don't like him. The Todoroki subplot hits home for a lot of people. It is a very serious and real situation. Take away the hero aspect and Endeavor is just another abuser in the world, something many people have been through.

Anyways if anyone read all of this hope you enjoyed. Hope some people agree. If you didn't leave an ask or comment lmao let's debate.

[clarisse0o]

Camp Wiegman-Part 39

Lucy Bronze x Ona Batlle

Alternative Universe : Military School

Words : 5k

Masterlist

———————————————————————

Saturday, January 16th; 1:00 PM - Lucy's Room

I've been awake for a good ten minutes, but I don't dare move. I'm so comfortably settled, but more importantly, I'm afraid of waking Lucy, who is holding me firmly against her. The only thing that could make me move is my incessant headache. And yet, I'm still lying here... I'm savoring this rare moment that I might never experience again. I take in the perfection of her face and her relaxed features, which make her look so innocent. It's as if I'm her big teddy bear. The only regret I have is not being able to admire her stunning emerald eyes. Mine start to close when I feel her stir. The last thing I want is for her to catch me watching her. Her hand, which I realize is under my t-shirt, slowly withdraws after gently caressing my spine. My body betrays me, sending a thousand shivers through me. I pretend to wake up, burrowing into her chest to hide my face. I blink my eyes before lifting my head to meet the gaze of the eyes I've longed for. Their piercing effect makes me melt even more. She immediately lets go of me, as if holding me like that would break some forbidden rule. I make sure to hide my disappointed expression.

"Good morning..."

"Hi," she replies.

"Can you free my leg, please? I’d like to get up."

I tighten my legs slightly around hers when I realize I'm actually holding her back without meaning to.

"Can’t we stay like this a little longer?" I ask, burying my face in her neck.

"No," she sighs.

"Please," I groan.

"I said no," she says firmly, pulling her foot out of my grasp with a sharp movement.

"What's wrong?" I mumble.

"The problem is you're getting used to things I don't want," she says, sitting on the edge of the bed. "I need to get up. You probably have a headache to deal with."

I groan, letting my body, which had been resting on hers, fall onto the warm mattress. My headache is far from my biggest concern at the moment. At least I got to enjoy her arms until she woke up. She gets up, leaving me behind without a hint of regret.

"You didn’t seem to mind sharing your bed last night..."

The reaction I wanted has its effect. She freezes just as she’s about to leave the room. I bite my lip to stifle a smile. I'm glad the alcohol didn't take away that memory. She seems to know exactly what I'm talking about, judging by her response.

"Sorry. It was inappropriate of me. I wouldn’t have done anything like that if I were sober."

"The easy excuse..."

"A valid excuse. I can't handle alcohol at all," she retorts.

"If you say so..." I mumble. "Good Lord, it’s one o’clock," I laugh, changing the subject.

"Really?" she says, surprised. "The last time I woke up at this hour, I was your age."

"Yep, you’re old now."

I tease her as I slide my hands under her pillow to hug it. I recognize Lucy's scent on it. It's almost a substitute for her absence. Almost.

"If you say so," she shrugs. "Are you hungry?"

"A little," I admit.

"I'll make us something and see if the girls are already awake. Don't take too long, please."

"Mm-hmm."

I bury my head in her pillow right after. My response must not have pleased her because she turns around to open the shutters. I groan as daylight floods the room. Even with gray clouds, it's hard for me to adjust to so much light all at once.

"At least now I'm sure you won't fall back asleep."

I watch her leave the room with a proud smile on her lips. I wait for the door to close before groaning into the pillow. I'll never tire of waking up next to her, but this morning feels different. She seemed to be distancing herself. I hope it was just my imagination. For now, the most important thing is that she doesn't discover my feelings for her. I risk losing her for good. A perfect woman like her could never be interested in someone like me. I'm a magnet for trouble. After a moment of reflection, I decide to get out of bed. I immediately miss the warmth, and I understand why when I see my bare thighs. Damn. This outfit shouldn’t bother me since I often sleep this way, but knowing I spent the night like this with Lucy makes my cheeks heat up.

"Damn... What kind of mess am I getting myself into again..."

I rummage through her closet to find something to cover my legs. The first thing I find is a pair of sweatpants that will do just fine. As I turn around, I stop for a moment, noticing my suitcase at the foot of the bed. I thought I had left it on the other side. I shrug and head to the living room.

"The girls aren’t awake yet?" I ask when I see Lucy alone.

"They’re already gone."

I raise an eyebrow at the sticky note she hands me. I can't believe it. They're both out in the city. My best friend, who came to spend the weekend with me, is out with a girl she’s only seen twice... I can hardly believe it.

"Nice sweatpants," she snaps me out of my thoughts.

"Oh, um... I helped myself. I didn't see my suitcase."

"No worries," she chuckles. "They suit you well. Here, I made this for you."

"Thanks."

I down the glass of orange juice in one go to swallow the pill she had prepared for me. Lucy watches me with amusement. She pours me another glass at my request before returning to the stove.

"What are you cooking?" I ask, looking over her shoulder.

"Pancakes. Can you make your hot chocolate and my coffee?"

"Sure. How do you take your coffee? Black?"

"Yeah, no sugar, no milk."

"You drink it straight? Yuck," I grimace.

"Indeed. It's better that way."

"Gross."

Lucy laughs at me. I get to work, making our hot drinks one by one.

"Luce?"

"Yeah?"

"Where's the cocoa?"

"In the cupboard," she says, pointing it out to me.

"Thanks."

I grab the box to scoop two spoonfuls of cocoa into my mug, then bring everything to the table where our plates are already set. I sit down since I have nothing else to do.

"Do you want to do something this afternoon?" she asks me.

"I don't know," I shrug. "What if the girls come back before we do?"

"I doubt it," she chuckles. "Do you want to go out?"

"For what?"

"I might have an idea," she smiles mischievously.

"Okay. It can only be good."

She joins me with a plate full of pancakes, which she sets in the middle of the table. I grab one before she even sits down.

"Are you that hungry?" she giggles.

"Don't tease me. Everyone has their own post-party effects. Mine is eating a lot. Anyway," I say, clearing my throat. "So, I was wondering if you knew that Mapi and Ingrid have been texting?"

"I found out yesterday," she shrugs. "Does it bother you?"

"No, no... Well... Never mind."

"Tell me."

"There's nothing to say... Just that it's surprising."

"I don't think so. They're made to get along."

"Hmm... Do you know if... I mean, is Ingrid a lesbian? Or maybe bi?"

« She's only had relationships with girls before," she replies simply.

I nod as I spread Nutella on my pancake. Maybe Mapi does have a chance with Ingrid after all. I hope so. She deserves to be happy, even if it means getting involved with my school instructor.

- Are you jealous that she might be seeing someone else?

I look up to see Lucy with an unusually serious expression. I shake my head. No, I don't feel jealousy. It's something else, but I can't quite put my finger on it. Mostly, I feel concerned for her. What I want more than anything is for her to find the happiness she deserves.

- No. Mapi told me she likes Ingrid. I'm just checking, that's all.

- They're both adults; they can handle their relationship, she says with a shrug.

- Did Ingrid talk to you about it too?

- Yeah, and it seems the feeling is mutual.

- Oh my God, I laugh. What is all this going to turn into?

- A total disaster.

We laugh heartily. I'm relieved to know I'm not the only one who thinks so. Maybe she planned to see Ingrid instead of coming to spend the weekend with me. I'll definitely have to ask her about that.

- Want to taste?

I look up to see her offering me her cup of coffee.

- No, thanks.

- Come on, do it for me, taste it, she insists. You promised you'd try it once. You can even add milk or sugar if you want.

- Fine. Just this once, then.

I take the cup and breathe in the scent, which isn't as unpleasant as I expected. I take a deep breath before sipping. The effect is immediate. I spit out the second sip onto the table as Lucy bursts out laughing. She immediately gets up to grab some paper towels.

- Disgusting!

- You're overreacting, she laughs.

She wipes up the mess on the table before I can help.

- Let me see.

I obey, feeling my cheeks heat up as she dabs at my chin where the coffee must have dripped. Her smile widens, clearly amused by my obvious embarrassment.

- First coffee experience: memorable, she comments. I'll make you try a different one next time.

- No thanks, I grimace. This time was already too much.

- I promise it'll be better than this one.

- We'll see.

- It's already decided. I know you'll do it.

I stick my tongue out at her in response. It's certain that I'll give in if she pushes a little, but she doesn't need to know that. She ruffles my hair and retrieves her cup, finishing it in one gulp. She heads off to dispose of the used paper towels. I finish my own cup and glance over at Lucy. She's just opened the sliding door, letting a blast of cold air into the room. I'm glad I put on sweatpants. She steps out onto the terrace for a few seconds before coming back inside. She smiles when she notices me watching her.

- Are you done?

- Um, yeah… I reply, eyeing her curiously. What are you planning to do?

- I want to clean up after last night's party. You can go take your shower.

- I'd like to help, I insist.

- It's not necessary. I'm just going to mop and everything.

- At least let me clear the table, I negotiate, already starting to do so.

She shrugs, conceding defeat. I load the dishwasher while she clears the toppings. Once everything is put away, I leave to get ready. The only hint she gave me was to dress warmly. I'm tempted to wear the sweater she lent me last time. I never bothered to return it, and she never asked for it back. After some thought, I choose one of my own, then lock myself in the bathroom to take a shower.

Saturday, January 16th; 3:00 PM - Lucy's Building.

- Where are we going? I ask impatiently, like a child.

- You'll find out soon enough. Calm down, will you? she teases.

I bite my lip to keep from smiling. The elevator doors open to the basement. She noticed I only had sneakers or city boots, so she lent me a good pair of shoes. I deduced we’ll be walking and it’ll probably be cold. I feel like a little girl waiting for a surprise. I start to head toward her car, but she stops me.

- This way, Ona.

- We're not taking the car?

- Not today. The roads are pretty clear.

I furrow my brow as I follow her to a garage. My jaw drops when she opens it. If I expected that… She wants me to get on *that*?

- What's the matter, Batlle, getting cold feet?

- Do you even have a license for this thing?!

- Do you think I keep it in my garage just for fun? she mocks. If you're scared, we can take my car.

- Is that a challenge?

- Maybe. You tell me.

Her smile makes me give in. A freaking motorcycle. If I expected that! She’s made me experience everything I’ve ever wanted to do in life so far. This surprise is definitely worth it! It’s a sporty bike, metallic blue. It’s as impressive as her car. The silver rims stand out perfectly. I love this girl. She's completely nuts! She hands me a pair of gloves, which I gratefully take. I put them on without even thinking about the helmet she's bringing over.

- Damn, I groan.

- It’s okay, I’ll help, she laughs.

Without asking, she places the helmet on my head, slowly pulling on each side. I thank her when she pushes aside a few strands of hair that decided to stay in front of my eyes.

- Lift your chin. I need to adjust the strap underneath.

I comply, letting her fasten the helmet. She closes the visor with an amused smile when I lower my head. She gears up as well before looking at me. I move my head to get used to the feel of the helmet. I feel like my head is being squeezed with this thing.

- Have you ever been on a motorcycle?

- No, but I’ve always wanted to try, I admit.

- Alright. In that case, you'll hold onto me. But make sure you stay upright. Don’t lean with me when we turn, okay?

- I get it, yeah…

- If you don’t feel comfortable, just let me know.

I nod with a smile that she returns. She rolls the bike out and closes the garage. She climbs on, leaving me stunned for a moment. She looks so badass on it. She totally has the biker look with her black outfit. She motions for me to come closer. I snap out of it and move towards her. I brace my hands on her shoulders to climb on behind her. I lift my leg, but it gets stuck on the seat because I didn’t raise it high enough.

- Great start, she giggles.

- Sorry, it’s my first time, I defend myself.

- Hold onto me, alright? she warns playfully.

I blush and manage to get on the bike on my second try. My first instinct is to hold onto her waist. She doesn’t seem to mind, as she turns the key. The bike purrs with a sound as pleasing as her Audi. She must have a passion for big cars and bikes. She starts moving the bike without warning, and I instinctively press against her, wrapping my arms around her. I hear her laugh, and the vibrations coming from her body against mine make me blush again. She stops when we reach the outside.

- Ona, you’re suffocating me.

- Sorry, I say, immediately loosening my grip.

- I’m not asking you to let go, just don’t squeeze so tight, okay? Here, give me your arms.

She grabs my wrists and wraps them around her the way they should be. She starts the bike after waiting for my go-ahead. At first, I tighten my grip, but I loosen it shortly after. I stay in that position for a while until I get used to it. I notice she’s making sure to keep a reasonable speed. Despite her instructions, I still managed to lean with her during a turn. I got scolded, which reminded me of my mistake. I never imagined it would be so hard for my brain not to follow her movements. After that incident, I made sure to be more careful. I smile stupidly as we pass all the cars stopped at a red light to reach the front. I’ve always dreamed of doing that one day, and now it’s happened. She supports us with the tips of her toes when we’re stopped. I’d like to help, but I can’t touch the ground from behind. So I leave my feet on the footrests.

- We’ve got a bit of a drive ahead. Do you mind if I take the highway to get there faster? she asks.

- No, go ahead. I trust you.

- You sure? You’re not just saying that to make me happy?

- No, no. Please, go ahead. You probably haven’t ridden in a while.

- "Yes, it's true," she admits to me. "Thank you."

I hold on to her as she takes off at full speed. I'm so surprised that I press myself against her. From her laugh, I think she did it on purpose. We stop after half an hour of driving. I'm almost certain she didn't obey the speed limit, given the number of cars we passed. My smile doesn't fade when I see where we are. She never fails to surprise me. The landscape is still magnificent. She parks her motorcycle in front of a chalet that must be a small café in the middle of a small forest. I mimic Lucy, taking off my helmet and placing my gloves between my legs.

"Wow..."

"It's beautiful, isn't it? Are you getting off?"

I listen to her as I clumsily dismount, accidentally bumping into her. She doesn't say anything, just smiles. She must have picked up on my awkwardness by now. She engages the kickstand and gets off as well. She stretches to loosen up her legs while I take in the vast forest in front of us.

"Did I drive well? You weren't too scared?"

"When can we do it again?"

She laughs, telling me that there's still the return trip. We enter the small chalet, where she seems to know the owners since she introduces me and entrusts them with our helmets. The owner wishes us a good afternoon before we step outside, where I take a deep breath of fresh air.

"So, what's next on the agenda, Commander?"

"Walking," she smiles. "Let's not waste time, I just received a message. We need to be back home by six o'clock."

"Why?"

"We need to meet up with the girls to eat in town, then we'll go to the same bar as last time with my friends. Does that work for you?"

"I don't really have a choice. You've planned everything behind my back."

I puff out my cheeks to show my displeasure. She pinches them, deflating them instantly.

"I just found out myself, so don't pout at me, okay? It's not my fault!"

"Uh-huh, sure," I say, crossing my arms nonetheless.

She surprises me by wrapping her arm around my shoulders. I relax, resting my head on her shoulder. I don't stay there long as she pulls away after kissing my forehead.

"Come on, you little grouch."

I smile softly at the unexpected gesture. I realize she's becoming more and more affectionate with me. I feel the need for more, but I doubt that's what she wants. I only realize she's moved ahead of me when she calls out to me from a distance. I quickly catch up to her, and we head into the beautiful forest stripped of its foliage. Everything is white with snow. I shove my hands into my pockets to keep them warm.

"How do you feel about joining a new class on Monday?" she starts the conversation.

"I have to admit, I haven't had a second to think about it. I'd say I'm curious and a little stressed at the same time. I'm not alone, so everything should go well."

"You don't need to worry."

We continue talking about the subject until we reach the end of the path. We've arrived at a small lake with a stone waterfall. I haven't even finished drawing the landscapes she showed me last week, and now she's already showing me new ones. Lucy suggests we walk around before heading back. It's the perfect thing to relax. We continue moving forward, taking the path on the right. The silence is peaceful, but it's pleasant. I feel good. I don't think I've ever felt this good before. I feel happy and surrounded, like never before. I doubt I'll ever experience this moment as intensely again. I turn around to see Lucy lagging behind me for the first time. She's the reason for my happiness, I know it. She's going to make me burst with a thousand feelings if she keeps acting the way she does with me. She makes me feel like a different person. It's as if I can do anything by her side. Yet, I've always been told that I'm an incapable child who will never succeed in life.

" Lucy?" I call out to her, walking backward.

"Hmm?" she responds, finally looking at me.

"Thank you for everything... Thank you for being you and for transforming me into who I am right now."

"I'm not doing anything special."

"Oh yes, you are," I chuckle. "You don't even realize it."

"Don't you want to walk normally? You're going to hurt yourself again," she teases.

"No way, look, I've got this under control!"

I try to prove it by speeding up. Lucy's amused smile warms my heart in a way I can't control. This day is just too perfect to be real. I was about to say something, but my feet decided to get tangled up.

"Be careful!" she nearly shouts.

Too late... I land on my butt. I hear Lucy's laughter ringing in my ears. I groan and look at the ground to see the damn branch responsible for my stumble. I've just made a fool of myself. I let my head drop and find myself staring into Lucy's green eyes.

"Poor fool! It's not like I didn't warn you!"

"You'll see who's the fool!"

I knock her off balance as her legs straddle mine. I pull her hands, which she instinctively put forward, and gently bring her down with me. I groan as she ends up completely on top of me, but I can't help bursting into laughter when I hear Lucy groan.

"That'll teach you to make fun of me!"

Without warning, her fingers start tickling me, inflicting a torture I hate more than anything. I beg her to stop, but she continues. She only stops when I start running out of breath.

"Apologize."

I can't say a word, mesmerized by the sight in front of me. Her smile, showing all her teeth, captivates me so much. I only realize I've placed my hands on her thighs when her smile suddenly disappears.

"Ona..."

I still can't say anything. Her tousled hair gives her an incredible charm. My heart is about to explode... But everything fades when she moves away to sit on top of me.

"Ona, we can't. I can't. You're my student."

"I'm far from being just your student..."

"I know, Ona," she sighs, running a hand through her hair.

"You feel the same way I do," I murmur in shock.

"No," she shakes her head. "There's no way our relationship can go any further than it already has. I'm risking my job and... I can't. I thought you couldn't either, with your relationship with Feli."

I laugh bitterly. She has no right to use that excuse when I was ready. She feels something too. Otherwise, she wouldn't have reacted the way she has these past few days. Her behavior has changed. She's become more attentive, worried, and... And she was jealous yesterday. She can deny it all she wants, but she was irritated that guy was checking me out.

"That's the best excuse you could come up with?" I ask coldly.

"Ona..." she sighs.

"If you didn't feel anything like you claim, you wouldn't have reacted so excessively with the salesman. You also wouldn't have let me cuddle you when we got back from the mall, or sleep with you last night, or kiss my neck. We like each other. What's wrong with that?"

"There's nothing wrong with it. I-I just can't. It's beyond my strength, and I thought it was the same for you. I've just crossed the line these past few weeks. I shouldn't have opened up to you so much. It just complicated things. I should have stayed professional until the end."

I think I would have preferred if she had no feelings rather than reject me for some unknown reason. My world of happiness just collapsed in a fraction of a second. What else was I expecting anyway? I knew she wouldn't want me. Who would, anyway? I just didn't expect it to hurt this much. It makes me realize how attached I've become to her and the extent of my feelings.

"We should head back," I murmur.

"Ona..." she says sadly.

I stop her from saying anything else by pushing her off me, a gesture that feels far too easy. She doesn't even resist. I clumsily get up, too disturbed by what just happened. I retrace our steps without bothering to wait for her or even glance at her.

Saturday, January 16th; 10:00 PM - The United.

We've been at the bar for a good hour. The same people as last time are here. I'm impressed by how Mapi has managed to fit in. She's always had an easier time with social situations than I have. Everyone's having fun around the pool table while I stay back with my glass of iced tea. Mapi and Ingrid are crushing Jenni and Mary. It seems like this afternoon strengthened their relationship, as they're now teasing each other. I glance over at the other girls who are mocking them, then end on Lucy, who has stayed at our table. It seems she's met an old acquaintance, but I doubt it's just anyone, given how the girl is eyeing her up. No one seems bothered that she's off on her own. She doesn't seem bothered by it either. The girl keeps touching her arm and laughing at whatever she's saying. I feel desperate watching them like this, boiling inside. I'm incapable of doing anything. Lucy shut me down. She doesn't want me, and she's continuing to make that clear right now. And to think I had just acknowledged my feelings for her. Maybe it's not so bad that I know now. Maybe I can pull back my feelings, but I doubt it. Not long ago, I wasn't even ready to have a new relationship, and now, it's the first time I’ve felt this much jealousy. I sigh and look away, taking a sip of my drink. The only thing left for me to do is to put up barriers. That's what I did this afternoon. We haven't spoken since our confessions. I have to suppress my emotions. It's for the best for everyone. I smile at Mapi as she approaches me with a huge grin.

- "Did you see my crushing victory?!"

- "Oh... Yeah, I saw it," I replied. "Crushing, as always!"

I try to appear normal, but given the scrutinizing look she's giving me, I guess I failed miserably. She tilts her head slightly before sighing.

- "I'm going out for a smoke. You coming with me?"

- "Uh, yeah, if you want. I thought you quit?"

- "I did, but one every now and then never hurt anyone. Come on, hermana, it'll do you good to get some fresh air."

I smile weakly as she drapes her arm over my shoulders. Unfortunately, we have to pass by our table to grab our jackets. I try not to meet the eyes of the two people there, but it's really difficult. Especially when I end up locking eyes with Lucy's furrowed brow. Or should I say, my supervisor's.

- "Where are you going?"

- "Getting some air," Mapi replies. "We'll be back."

I quickly turn on my heels to follow Mapi outside. We sit on one of the benches against the bar's facade. I fix my gaze on a spot on the road where a few cars are passing while Mapi lights her cigarette. I catch a glimpse of the smoke escaping her mouth before she offers me the cigarette. I hesitate for a moment. I used to smoke, but I quit at the same time as I stopped doing drugs. She rolls her eyes and insists, bringing the cigarette directly to my lips.

- "Tonight you can. I think you need it."

The temptation is too strong. I take the cigarette between my fingers and take a deep drag, closing my eyes. It's like riding a bike, you never forget. I exhale the smoke, savoring it as much as possible. When I open my eyes, I see my best friend smiling broadly. I take another drag before handing it back to her and resting my head on her shoulder.

- "Is it Lucy?" she asks, getting straight to the point. "I noticed you haven't spoken since you got here."

- "She shut me down, Maps. She figured out how I felt, and she shut me down."

- "Oh..."

- "I felt ready, damn it. Why does she feel the need to ruin everything?"

- "Do you think she feels the same?"

- "I thought so, but with her rejection, I don't know anymore. Why would she want me anyway? I'm just a troubled girl. I've never understood why she was so interested in me. Maybe it's just because I remind her of her ex, and she thought she could save me, unlike her."

- "Her ex?" she frowns.

I sigh heavily, taking another drag from the cigarette she offers me again. I haven't talked about this story to Mapi or anyone else, for that matter. Lucy's past is none of their business, but now that I remember, it's totally understandable.

- "Forget it," I mumble. "I just don't know what to believe anymore..."

- "What are you going to do...?"

- "Pull away, I guess."

- "Ona..."

- "What?" I reply coldly. "What else do you want me to do? Huh?! She doesn't want me. I'm not going to force her! One thing is for sure, I'm not going to feel bad for nothing."

- "Fight for her... I'm sure she's worth it. She cares about you, it's obvious. You finally admitted you like her, and I've never seen you so attached to someone. When you used to go back to Barcelona, you barely talked to me about the friends you made here. You talked about her..."

- "No, that's out of the question. If she wanted me, she wouldn't have shut me down the first time. It was too good to be true anyway. I trusted the wrong person again. The only thing to do to minimize the damage is to pull away before I get too hurt."

- "You're so stubborn..." she sighs. "There has to be an explanation for all this."

- "There isn't always, Mapi. Even if there is one, I don't want to know it."

I take the cigarette from her again. The nicotine's calming effect settles into my system. I had forgotten how good it could feel. I frown when the cigarette is abruptly taken away before I can take a second drag.

- "Hey, what are you doing?"

My first reflex is to look at Mapi, but I quickly realize it's not her. I look up to see Lucy standing in front of us, with a stern look that would have definitely affected me in other circumstances.

- "Give it back."

- "No way."

- "What does it matter to you if I smoke?" I growl. "Give me back that cigarette!"

- "I said no."

She's daring me to take it back, but I'm not going to play her game over a stupid cigarette. I hold her gaze for a moment before closing my eyes and shaking my head. So she doesn't want me, but she keeps bothering me about what I do. It doesn't make any sense. I stand up and deliberately bump her shoulder as I head back into the bar. Her sigh behind me doesn't stop me. I'm going to handle this my way, whether she likes it or not. She's not going to be pleased with how I change my behavior towards her. I drop my jacket at the table and join Lucy's friends who are still gathered around the pool table. They invite me right away to start a new game, which I accept without hesitation. I team up with Aitana against Jenni and Ingrid. I don't know if it's a fair match, but Aitana seems confident. We start the game as Mapi and Lucy return. I ignore them and focus only on the game we've started. Time flies by with one, two, then a third game to break the tie. I try to laugh at Aitana's jokes, but I admit I'm forcing it a bit. She tried to get closer to help me with my shots. I wasn't thrilled by the contact at first, but I eventually let her do it. It's finally midnight when Lucy suggests we head home. She invited Ingrid to stay over again. This doesn't sit well with me, as I imagine she'll be sleeping with Mapi. Mapi also abandons me for the ride home. She whispered that I should take the opportunity to talk to Lucy, advice I didn't follow. Our drive back was silent. Lucy tried to start a conversation once or twice, but I didn't respond. We arrive at her apartment in a tense atmosphere. The girls quickly retreat to their room, sensing the tension between us. I sigh in frustration, fully understanding what Mapi is trying to do. She wants me to change my mind, but it's not going to happen!

- "Do you have a blanket?" I finally ask.

- "A blanket?" Lucy repeats, puzzled. "Why?"

- "I'm sleeping on the couch."

- "Ona..." she tries, tilting her head slightly.

- "Yes or no?" I question her more coldly. "Either way, I'm staying here."

She looks at me for a moment before sighing. No, sweetheart, I'm not changing my mind. I watch as she lifts the couch cushion to pull out a duvet and two pillows. She hands them to me while I turn the couch into a bed. Well, at least I won't have to worry about a bad night's sleep.

- "Thank you."

- "Good night..."

She murmurs the words so softly I barely hear them before she disappears down the hallway. She returns a moment later with my pajamas. I head to the bathroom to change and brush my teeth before returning to the living room. I close the doors behind me for some privacy and make sure the curtains are drawn so I can sleep in tomorrow morning. Once I'm ready, I place both pillows on one side and wrap myself in the thick duvet with a sigh of relief. It's definitely not as good as being in Lucy's arms, but I'll have to get used to it.

Sunday, January 17th; 2:50 AM - Lucy's Living Room.

I clutch the duvet as tightly as I can to muffle my sobs. I try to calm down, but it's no use. At least I haven't been loud enough to wake up the whole apartment. No one has come to check on me, even though I've been like this for about ten minutes. I don't even dare get up to grab a tissue or a glass of water. I'm too afraid of waking someone. I freeze and hold my breath when I hear the double doors open. I slowly lower my head, clutching the duvet as tightly as possible to make it look like I'm still asleep.

- "I know you're not asleep."

I tense up at the sound of Lucy's voice. She slips under the blanket I haven't let go of. I try to push myself further against the backrest when I feel her behind me. I don't want to feel her against me, but her arm pulls me back while taking hold of my hand. I instinctively pull it away.

- "Take it."

I bite my lip, opening my eyes to see she's brought me a pack of tissues. I take it timidly, thanking her in a voice even I can barely hear. I immediately use a tissue. Meanwhile, she firmly keeps her arm wrapped around my waist. I'd be lying if I said it didn't have an effect on me... I hate her so much for making me feel this way.

- "This is the last time we're sleeping together," I murmur.

- "Go back to sleep," she whispers in response.

She won't be able to change my mind on this. I fully intend to keep this promise. I'll even go to Jaha and ask to move back into my dorm on Monday if I have to. In the meantime, I take advantage of her arms and warmth one last time to calm down from the nightmare. My breathing returns to a regular rhythm, and fatigue finally gets the better of me.

[alienpossession]

Body a Day 15: Son

He was a lonely man pushing close to his mid-50s. So it was easy for me to just slid right into him when no one's around and I've been his closest friends for the past few months, fooled him as I played pretend as his dog

As my form turned into less solid, I forced myself in through his mouth and his nose. He barely have time to respond before I blocked his respiratory system with my form as I slid more of myself into him, solidifying my control over his physique. He thrashed wildly trying to scream and got himself out of the problem I put him in, but I soon reached his brain and gained control over it, practically ending his resistance as I eased off his body to let the rest of my form entered him

The first few minutes inside of him was surreal as I upgraded myself from a dog into a human, standing only with 2 legs of mine and having a pair of hand that I can use to do so much more things rather than just having 4 legs.

But not only that, as after I acquire the control of his brain, I finally realized that he got an estranged son that just started to contact him again after years and actually asked to join this year's Christmas. I let out a smirk at that time, excited with the prospect of trying out the possibility of extending my control over this human to his own offspring. The boy, at least from this man's memory, is quite a tall yet not necessarily broad figure, just a regular 22 years old nerd that love to run

When he came to town yesterday, boy, the lack of update really surprised me because the lanky boy he used to know as his son already beefed up for the past 7 years and looked like a splitting image of his daddy with a hint of his mother's face. This really upped the stake and excitement for me to control that body of his, and I can even use his body as my next base while leaving this old man as an autonomous husk that will just live on the remainder of his life as my mindless proxy. Well, so many plans, so little time, I should make the decision on what to do with this boy as soon as possible

[miss-bushido]

When I think of you, I see what we might do

*Rating: M (cursing, fake injuries) *Characters/Relationships: Eddie Munson, Robin Buckley, Steve Harrington, Argyle, Jonathan Byers; Eddie Munson/Steve Harrington, Argyle/Jonathan Byers *Tags: Paramedic Steve Harrington, Paramedic Robin Buckley, Bartender Eddie Munson, Robin Buckley & Eddie Munson Are Best Friends, Bisexual Eddie Munson, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Upside Down (Stranger Things), Robin Buckley & Eddie Munson Are Roommates, Meet-Cute, Inspired by an Instagram reel, Pretend Injuries, Title from a Humbird Song

*Notes:

I saw a reel on Instagram where a guy was saying how he hadn't understood why women went for big burly guys like firefighters and other guys like that, until he was helping a friend with their final para-rescue exam. After hearing his explanation, I knew it had to be something I wrote for a Steddie fic. The reel in question is here.

Any and all medical information/terminology in here I have gleaned from Google searches and retained memories of watching 'M*A*S*H' and 'Scrubs' as a teenager. So, that means that any and all mistakes are mine, including specific information about the paramedics/para-rescue exams.

Title from the song 'Seven Veils' by Humbird.

Also here on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/59286868

---

Eddie sat on the ground as he leaned against the brick wall inside the empty building. His clothes were covered in blood, and he had a sucking chest wound. His left leg was gone below the knee, and he hoped someone would come along soon.

He was really starting to get hungry.

When Robin had asked him earlier in the week if he could help her with her final paramedics exam on Friday afternoon, he had readily agreed. It meant he didn’t have to work at the bar on Friday night, and she agreed to treat him to dinner afterwards. It was a win-win for both of them.

“I really appreciate it,” she’d said over beers the night before. “Thank you again for agreeing.”

“Hey, no problem,” Eddie said, clinking his beer bottle against hers. “If I was in your place, I would have asked, too. And I know you would’ve also said yes. Especially since I’m your favorite roommate, and all.”

Robin laughed. “You’re my only roommate!”

“The sentiment still stands,” he pointed out. The doorbell rang with their delivery order, and he stood up to get it. “Get the first movie put on and let’s have a good night.” They’d spent the rest of the night watching movies: ‘Rashomon’ (Robin’s pick), and ‘Scanners’ (Eddie’s pick) and eating Thai food. They had picked off one another’s plates and grossed each other out over some of the more gruesome scenes in ‘Scanners’, opting to let the plates soak overnight in the sink rather than run the dishwasher before they both passed out in their respective rooms around 11:30.

The next day, Eddie made sure he was early to meet up with Robin at the site for the exam, and was met with the din of seemingly everyone from Robin’s class. They were milling around, along with the other volunteers, and some of the firefighters and para-rescue crew, handing cards and what looked like dirty clothes to people. As Eddie came closer to Robin, he saw that the clothes looked like they had blood on them.

“Oh! You’re just in time!” Robin exclaimed as he came over to her. She handed him a casualty card and a set of clothes: a big blue shirt and a pair of grey sweatpants. “There should be an empty locker for you to change into these.”

“What the hell is all over these?” Eddie asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Corn syrup,” Robin answered. “It has to look like blood, and obviously we wouldn’t use real blood because that’s disgusting and it would make the clothes reek, plus it would be weird to keep requesting blood from the butcher’s all the time-”

Eddie held up a hand. “I got it, thanks.” He flipped his casualty card over and read his triage notes. “A ‘sucking chest wound and a missing left leg’? Sounds gross but cool.”

Robin smirked and shook her head. “Remind me to tell you some stories, Eddie.” She put her hands on his shoulders. “Go change. We’re leaving to go across the street in about twenty minutes. You all have to be in your positions at least thirty minutes before the test starts.”

Eddie did as he was told, swapping his tight black jeans and Slayer T-shirt for the shirt and sweatpants she’d given him. “Robbie,” he said, grimacing as he walked out, holding his casualty card in his right hand. “These are so sticky.” His left hand had touched some of the “blood” on the left leg of the pants.

“You’re not supposed to touch the fake blood,” she pointed out, but handed him a warm rag for him to wipe his hand off on. “Come on, let’s get you into position.”

She walked him over to the empty building across the street, past numerous other volunteers who had varied injuries. Two guys had “bloody” bandages wrapped around their head, or around an arm. A girl he passed had a soft cast on her left arm and bandages wrapped around her stomach.

“It’s like a warzone here, huh?” he asked as they passed a group of three guys laying on stretchers. One of them, dressed in garish yellow clothes and with the longest hair he’d ever seen on a guy, glanced up at him and pointed to his casualty card. “Sucking chest wound and missing left leg.”

“Ohhhh, sick, brochacho,” came the response as the guy grinned up at him. “I got a broken neck.”

“So maybe you should lie still, Argyle,” Robin scolded him.

“Sorry Robin,” the pale lanky guy next to him said. “Hey, babe,” he started, reaching for his boyfriend’s hand as Eddie followed Robin to his place. It was in the far back of the building, almost out of sight of everyone else, though he could faintly hear Argyle talking with the other guy.

“Make yourself comfortable,” she said as Eddie sat down against the wall once they got to his designated area.

“Sure,” he groaned as he stretched his long legs out, setting the casualty card on his lap. “Concrete is the most comfortable surface known to man.”

“And don’t talk,” she said, ignoring his remark. “You’re supposed to be critically injured, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he replied, waving her away. “I’m going to my enjoy dinner later!” he called as she continued walking. He saw her shake her head and then compose herself as she went to join the rest of her class.

That was about thirty five minutes ago now, and Eddie was hoping this would be over soon. In addition to being hungry, his ass was starting to go numb from sitting still for so long. How long could this exam actually go on for?

Suddenly, the doors at the other end burst open as about twelve members of the para-rescue group charged in. As they moved through towards the back of the building, they peeled off from the main cluster to assess the damage to the other casualties on the floor. By the time any of them got to Eddie, there were only three guys left.

The guy in front: a tall, muscular guy with floppy brown hair and the most beautiful face Eddie had ever seen on a person, looked to the right where Eddie was sitting, and zeroed in on him. He came over, and knelt down, his face flushed prettily with exertion. He grabbed Eddie’s casualty card and scanned it briefly, licking his lips as he read, before his eyes flicked up to meet Eddie’s.

Eddie felt his heart hammer in his chest when he locked onto those beautiful hazel eyes as they stared into his own brown ones. Eddie felt as though his brain had shut down, breath completely gone. He had enough wherewithal to glance down at the name badge clipped to his button down: Steve Harrington.

‘Holy shit this guy is hot,’ Eddie thought, face reddening the longer he looked at him, He could have kicked Robin for not mentioning that she shared a class with an Adonis. Not even an invite over to the apartment for a movie and pizza night!

“I’m gonna get you out of here,” Steve spoke, bringing Eddie back to the situation at hand. He blinked dumbly at him. “Don’t you worry,” Steve added, giving him a big smile, and a wink. Eddie felt his eyes widen at the wink, sure that his face was the color of a fire engine by this point.

Robin came over then, her clipboard in hand. She tossed Eddie a look before she turned her attention to Steve. “What’s the triage situation?”

“Open pneumothorax, and amputation of the left leg below the knee,” Steve answered, quick, professional, controlled. Eddie was glad he was wearing sweatpants because just the hint of authority he heard gave him the beginnings of a semi.

“Is he stable enough to be moved?” Robin asked, writing quickly as Steve spoke.

Steve checked the casualty card briefly before he made the decision. “Given the severed leg, we should prioritize getting him somewhere so we can put on a tourniquet and then see to the chest.”

Robin nodded in agreement. “There’s no stretcher-”

“I can carry him,” Steve interrupted. No sooner had he said this than he put his arms around Eddie’s body and under his legs, using leverage to lift him up, holding him close to his chest.

Eddie felt as though he was going to swoon. “Fuck,” he murmured quietly, hoping he hadn’t been heard. Steve’s lips quirked just enough to let him know that he had in fact heard him.

“I’ll see you back in there, Robbie,” Steve said. He adjusted his hold on Eddie, shifting him up momentarily. Eddie used this opportunity to wrap his arms around Steve’s neck, and then they were off to the triage area.

Eddie was struggling to come up with anything to say. Normally he couldn’t shut up to save his life, but in the arms of Steve Harrington? He felt like he’d swallowed his tongue. He searched his brain for something to say and finally landed on, “I had no idea you were so strong.”

He was lucky Steve was a paramedic because he thought he might die of embarrassment.

Steve grinned. “It helps when you do a lot of heavy lifting daily. You have to be strong to lug around the heavy equipment, or to pick someone up bodily because they lost a leg.” As they reached the triage area, Steve turned serious for a moment as the instructors milled around, before they moved to a spot farther away.

He deposited Eddie gently on a gurney and grabbed some bandages from the cloth bag on the side, leaning over Eddie to grab them. Eddie inhaled the smell of Steve’s cologne, and his deodorant, and a musky smell underneath that he attributed to Steve’s natural scent and some sweat.

He wanted to lick it all off of him.

‘Get it together, Munson,’ he scolded himself, watching as Steve took his left leg in hand and wound the bandage around his knee, securing it and then gently setting his leg back down on the gurney. He leaned over Eddie again to grab something else from the bag, his bangs falling in front of his eyes.

“Are you usually this flushed?” Steve asked as he ripped three strips of medical tape off of the roll and draped the ends on the metal bars of the gurney. He took another bandage and folded it carefully, placing it in the middle of Eddie’s chest. He grabbed the tape and began placing each strip along three sides of the bandage, as he would have done had Eddie actually had a sucking chest wound.

“Oh, no,” Eddie said, unable to take his eyes off of Steve as he worked. Some of his confidence came back and he said, “It’s just been awhile since I had the attention of such a gorgeous guy.”

Steve smirked, his cheeks and ears going red at the compliment. “Robin warned me you would be a flirt, Eddie,” he said. He bit his lip and then looked back at Eddie, eyes darkening. “I’m glad she was right.”

“She talked about me? To you?” Eddie asked incredulously. This was the first he had ever heard of this.

Steve nodded. “She did. I saw a picture on her phone of the two of you at a birthday party, and asked her who you were. When she told me you said you’d help her with her exam, I was pretty giddy.”

“Wait, wait a second,” Eddie said, placing a hand on Steve’s arm. “You asked Robin about me because-”

“Because I thought you were really hot and I wanted to see about spending some time with you to see if we might click,” Steve interrupted, giving Eddie a big smile.

“Well, shit, what are you doing after this?” Eddie asked, eyes bright. His stomach was doing flip flops. “Oh wait. Fuck. Robin told me she would treat me to dinner as a thank you…” he trailed off as Steve’s grin turned sly. “Oh…was that-”

Steve nodded. “In case we didn’t hit it off, she was still going to take you out as a thank you.”

Eddie started to push himself up as he asked, “Do you think we hit it off?”

Steve stopped him, hand on his chest, heavy gaze fixed on him. “Oh, I think we did, Eddie.” He let his eyes roam appreciatively over Eddie’s body, his gaze burning a trail as he made his way back up to his face. “Do you like sushi?”

“I love sushi,” Eddie affirmed, letting his own eyes roam over Steve’s chest and shoulders in appreciation. “What time did you say?”

Steve checked his watch. “It’s almost 6:30 now, so the exam should be just about done. How about we plan to meet at 7:15 outside, and we can go from there.” He looked again at Eddie’s clothes. “It’ll give us both time to get changed into non-grody clothing.”

“It’s a date,” Eddie affirmed, giving Steve’s arm a squeeze before he laid back down on the gurney. Steve gave him a wink before he turned around to go back to the front, giving Eddie a perfect view of his incredible ass.

“Well, fuck me,” he murmured, placing his hand over his eyes.

“Maybe I will,” Steve answered back, turning his head to give Eddie a meaningful stare before he walked away.

7:15 could not come soon enough.

[dominimoonbeam]

To The Edge - 25

This work is mine and I do not give consent for my works to be used, copied, published, or posted without my permission. I am sharing chapters as I work on this story but it is copyrighted material that I plan to rework and publish when completed.

story tags: scifi romance, hijinks in space, rogues learning to trust, violence, blood, guns, death, explicit language, so much kidnapping,

Works organized and easily found over on the patreon. <3

TO THE EDGE - CHAPTER 25.

Rory tore his eyes off of them. He needed to get some space. He needed to wash off the blood and paint and the memory of them putting their body between his and danger.

Stardust caught his arm before he could walk out. “Are you really going to pretend we’re not good at this? We get along. We—”

“Yeah, we get along great, that’s the problem. You’re going to get me killed or I’m—” He choked back the words because he couldn’t say it out loud. Either they were going to get him killed or… Or he was going to get them killed. Either way, this was going to end badly.

They didn’t let go of his arm and when he looked, he had been bracing for disappointment, anger, maybe even a little heartbreak. Instead, Stardust was staring him dead in the eye. “You’re scared because you care.”

He stepped back, hissing through his teeth like he’d been burned. “Stop. I don’t… I don’t care about you.” He forced a smile and a thin laugh, shaking his head. “And if I did, I wouldn’t be hauling your ass toward danger, would I? What sort of asshole would that make me? What sort of person would that make me…” A bad one. He was a bad person. Dragging a deep breath, Rory cut a hand through the air between them—like he could swipe this away. “Okay. We’re only a week away from the goal. We’ll make it. We’ll get the loot, hopefully get your cousins off your tail, and then we’ll go our separate ways, just like I said. If it’s the sort of stash you think it is, it’ll be plenty for you to get your own jet and hightail it wherever you want to go.”

“What if I want to go with you?”

Rory took another step back, into the hallway. His heart physically ached. “That’s not funny. Knock it off.” He had to find a way to end this before he couldn’t—before he wouldn’t.

They took a step to follow him, suddenly looking very much like the descendant of a mob throne. “I’m serious. I want to go with you,” Stardust said.

His heart pounded a little faster and a smile pulled loose from the corner of his mouth. They were trouble incarnate. “No, you don’t.”

“We’re partners,” Stardust pressed.

“No. I meant what I said, Stardust. You’re a bounty. I shouldn’t have let you think otherwise. This…you and me…that’s not a thing.” Oh, but he wanted it to be a thing. And so did they. So, why was he trying so hard to put the brakes on? Since when had he ever been honorable?

“Don’t you want to be friends?” they pressed.

A laugh burst from his chest, his fingers pressing against his temple. “Friends…” he repeated, like it was the worst joke they’d told yet. “No. I don’t want to be your friend. Look at the shit you stir up.” He didn’t want to be friends. He wanted more. He wanted everything.

“We’re the same, Cosmic. You said I was a magnet for trouble…and you’re trouble, remember?”

He took another step back, to press his back to the wall and feel the grounding cold of the metal against his spine. “Yeah, I said that, but you’re more trouble than you’re worth.”

“I’m worth a fortune.”

Rory laughed. “Shit, that’s a hell of an ego. I guess I should have expected that from a primer. Of course, you’d think you’re worth it…”

“Just admit it,” they urged, grinning with mischief. “Admit you like me.”

He shook his head and didn’t look at them. “No, I don’t.” It wasn’t hard to lie when they missed the mark. “The only thing I care about is my payday and my skin. I don’t need a partner or a friend or…” He flicked his gaze to them, trying to drive his lie home. “I don’t need you. I don’t need anyone.”

Stardust stared right back at him. “Liar.”

“You’re going to leave either way!” he snapped and then cringed because he didn’t want to talk about this. He shook his head and started down the hall toward his quarters. “You don’t belong out here. You’re not a mercenary or a bounty hunter. You’re just a spoiled rich kid playing at crime past the edge for thrills. You’ll get over it and go home to the prime eventually.”

Their boots trailed his. “You’re so full of shit, you’re not even making sense. I was raised in crime, farm boy. If anyone is being a prick here, it’s me. If one of us is putting the other in danger, it’s me.”

He stopped at his door, resisting the urge to rush inside and close it before they could follow. He was sometimes a cheat, sometimes a thief, but never a coward. “That’s not the same. Your family is a completely different sort of criminal element, and you know it.”

“You mean more successful?” they teased.

Rory turned to look at them but they continued before he could get a word in—as soon as they had this gaze.

“I like you.”

“What?”

“You’re a smug, reckless, jerk, but I like you. I like traveling with you and working with you. I think we’re good at it. And I think you like me too. I want to stay.”

“You…”

“I want to be more than partners.”

“Stop it. You don’t mean that.” He couldn’t take his eyes off them. They weren’t grinning anymore. Nothing about this sounded like a joke.

Stardust took a step closer, the toes of their boots touching. He could smell the paint and sweat and blood on their skin when they leaned in.

“Stardust…”

They watched him. “Just admit you got scared when you thought I might die…”

He sighed. He should back up, should push them away, but he didn’t. “I wasn’t scared…”

The corner of their mouth twitched. “Liar.”

“I’m not lying…” he lied.

Stardust closed that scant distance between them. Cosmic had never been kissed so softly in his life. He closed his eyes, feeling what little attempts at doing the right thing he’d been clinging to shredded. “Why did you do that?”

“I like you. I want you.”

“Don’t say that… Don’t. You can’t.” Hooking up would have been one thing when they’d both flirted with it weeks ago but now? This? This was more than hooking up.

Stardust kissed him again, one of their hands on his arm and the other finding his hip.

“Damn it…” he sighed. Who had he been kidding? This was going to end terribly but he couldn’t avoid it. He didn’t even want to. He curled a hand around the back of their neck to draw them in for another kiss, this one deeper. He didn’t want feather-soft kisses. He wanted them to bruise him, so he’d remember this when it was all over. “You make bad choices, Stardust…”

They smiled against his lips. “You really think this is one of those?”

“Yeah, this is one of those bad choices. I’m a bad choice.”

[littleoneamanda]

GF: Stanford Pines

Well, probably one of the fastest drawings I have been drawing xD

The original art style is pretty easy to work with, but I think I will keep doing it in mine after Fidds. Unless you want to see me draw more in the original style. Let me know! :D

Now to my thoughts on the book of bill and Stanford as a character. (SPOILERS)

The missing Journal Pages in this book are probably the ones that I found the most interesting and disturbing. We learn more about Ford as a person and what kind of friendship he had with Bill.

I just wanna say this, I really don't see how so many people saw them as "lovers" which I (imo) found very problematic and disturbing.

I think it is pretty clear Bill only uses Ford for his own gain. His property. Ford was the perfect human for his plans.

Take everything Bill says in the book with a whole spoon of salt.

"Even his lies are lies"

-Code from TBOB

"The ego of a king. The insecurity of a circus freak. And totally isolated from anyone who might steer him clear of my plans "

-Bill, TBOB

Ford has very low self esteem, isolates himself, bad at social interactions and even had a shotgun pointed at him. He describes himself "six fingerd freak".

So when a god like figure shows up in a dream one day, tells you how great you are, you will change the world, ect, You would buy it. Especially when others around you have made you feel like an outcast through your whole life (except for Stanley and Fidds).

Bill is basically love bombing Ford. Making Ford feel very special and reminding him of the project that will change everything.

Now there is a difference between self esteem and self confidence. (I'm adding the links if you wanna know more :) ) Ford absolutely have a strong self confidence. He believes strongly in his research. He belives he CAN achive and complete his research. This is also something Bill takes advantage of. He knows Ford is desperate. This is where is self confidence turns a little bit more to narcissism (again caused by Bill by manipulation). Bill does everything to make sure Ford continues the work.

As soon Ford realizes the betrayal, Bill shows his true colors.

He takes over Fords body multiple times. Takes his body on top of the roof in the middle of the winter, taped a rattlesnake into his journal, recorded a video of him being in Fords body "Puppet Hour with Bill" and will cut to something more disturbing scene. Left a lot of polaroids of him humiliating and torture his body in different ways.

Scaring Ford with one scene where he pretended to call Stan that he was gonna kill himself. This part of the book was probably the one that made me actually shiver. Think about it, You see video and pictures of yourself doing all of this, knowing that this is not you doing all of these things. And having no memory of it at. Too scared to fall asleep because you have no idea were your body is going to be next. That would make any person as paranoid Ford was at the end.

Fidds and Ford.

There is a lot of things that I wanna talk about when it comes to these two, but I will save most of it to the Fidds drawing.

Fidleford is Fords only true friend during this time. He is very supportive but also honest with Ford.

Ford haven't had any other friends during his early life. Stanley was his only friend, and the one who protected him until that one mistake that separates them. When Fiddleford comes in to the picture, (a person who also seemed to have problems making friends) he's probably the first person who doesn't even notice at first that Ford has six fingers. I really wish here we had some more backstory of their college years to know what their friendship looked like, but it seems they were very close.

"I am overcome with emotion. The sight of my old classmate upon my doorstep this morning filled my heart with such joy and gratitude."

-Stanford, Journal 3

Ford was obviously very happy to not be alone anymore in his home. To have his best friend (who also left his family behind) to work with him on this massive project. Now comes the question, what does Ford see Fidds as? I think Fidds shows some kind of feelings towards Ford escpecially when it comes to giving presents (Not only in TBOB but also in Journal 3). I think Ford does deeply care about Fidds, but his mind at this point is so focused on the project (and Bill making sure he is) that he pushes away a lot of feelings. Probably a lot of feelings that are necessary to have as well.

Something I do notice tho is when Bill isn't present, Ford becomes more like himself. Decorating the portal to make make Fidds happy after the failed family reunion (which I don't think he normally would have done if Bill was present during the holidays).

After Bill torture and threatening Ford in the nightmare, the only man he could think of in that moment who could help him was Fiddleford. When he went through Fidds notes for any hints of where he was now, he finds the 5 failed knitted 6-fingered gloves and the ripped photo of them. I can't imagine what that must have felt...

The closest person he had in his life at that point, who has tried to warn him. Tried to give Ford another option for success in his research instead of the portal. The regret of not listening to his warnings.

When they reunited after Weirdmaggedon, seeing how Fiddleford lived now and what the aftermath of the portal incident did to him, must have been a punch in the gut.

"...but when I saw that he was living at the dump, it became clear how deeply I had hurt this man that I had once held so dear."

-Stanford Journal 3

So...Is Ford a jerk? The question and discussions that I've seen so many times here xD

Honestly, this man is complicated. Especially when it comes to understand his thoughts and feelings. However, Stanford is a type person that I personally have encountered irl. Sometimes too smart for his own good, sometimes not understanding how others may feel about certain things/topics and a person who constantly try to prove to themself and to others. A man lost in his own insecurities and very isolated. He his the main character in his life. Now that doesn't exscuse his negative actions at all. But more like a explanation to what might had led to the certain events.

Alright, this took way longer to write than actually make the drawing xD But did wanna share somethings that has been on my mind. When trying to search for analyses of the characters, it has been difficult to find one that is a middle ground. It's either: Stanford is a jerk and doesn't deserve anything good or Here is why everyone is wrong type of stuff. I'm not here to tell how we should think about certain characters. This is just how I look at all of this. The only problem I have with all of this is the thing between Ford and Bill. Maybe it's just me, but I really don't see any type of romance there. I know a lot of people went off on the "one thing led to another" part. I do not know what to say to that honestly. That page was super hard for my eyes to read for some reason lol. And i know, Yes, I did a video of Fidds being cucked by a triangle. I don't mind some of the jokes around it...I mean i did myself xD

I think the reason Bill is a bit obsessed over Ford is because after so many attempts with making deals with other humans to help Bill build a portal, this one was sooo close to success and ALMOST succeeded. He had all the tools and the right human to make it, but failed. He must feel so bitter.

Anyway, that's it for now! Next is Fiddleford :D

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for killing my best friend’s best friend and then pretending to be them?

I(1000s, eldritch) am not human. Most of my - existence, I guess? - has been spent preying on humans both physically and mentally, and for as long as I’ve existed, that’s never been a problem. It’s what I was designed to do, and it wasn’t like I had the capacity to feel emotions like guilt for what I was doing.

Until recently.

Part of the… process, of consuming my victims, involves assimilating them and taking on their outward appearance. It’s how I maintain a physical form in this dimension, it’s a whole thing. (Basically think Invasion of the Body Snatchers, just minus the giant pea pods and plus the horrifying being of shadows and teeth.) Usually, I’ll maybe get a couple of memories from someone’s mind this way to better pretend to be them and avoid suspicion, but- but something went wrong when I tried to assimilate who we’ll call C(18, genderfluid).

Long story short, I have all of C’s memories. And all of the emotions to go with them; basically everything that he was is a part of me now. I remember how she got each of her scars, I remember her favorite color (and I’ve never even seen color before, so that was a shock), and most importantly I remember C’s best friend, M(17, transmasc), who was supposed to be- well, that’s sort of complicated too, but essentially my next victim who I was supposed to get to by using C.

But I didn’t want to kill him. Fuck, I still don’t. Ma- M is my best friend, even if these memories aren’t originally mine. I can’t put into words how fucking guilty I feel for the horrible death I put C through (I remember how much it hurt, by the way), and the countless sleepless nights leading up to it.

I kept up the façade for longer than I thought I would, but ultimately M saw me for what I wa- for what I am, and now they’re (rightfully) terrified of me. And probably more than a little angry, seeing as I’m the one who killed C, too.

I don’t know what to do. Something- something bad is going to happen to M soon, whether or not I’m here for it. I’m supposed to keep them in one place until then, but I don’t want to just be the monster outside of their locked bedroom door, whispering under the door. I don’t want anyone else to have to go through what C did, especially not because of me.

I want it to be perfect like before

Basically, I feel screaming-crying-throwing-up bad about it.

So, AITA?

[sakumz]

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a/n : back with an ibara fic... ong finally watched the road to show movie and gdi!? IBARA MADE ME FALL FOR HIM AGAIN pretends sakuma bros and izumi don't exist (yes I'm still not over happy elements treatment to me) anyways enjoy!

「 s. ibara x gn reader 」

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there's so much to love about your ibara. from the way he speaks to the way he acts and carries himself. you can't help but fall for everything about him, despite that habit of greeting you with a salute everyday.

" salute! my dear, " he greets with the usual gesture of his hand to his forehead as he shoots you, his close-eyed smile.

that simple gesture can quickly ease your stress of a mind and wipe away all your problems. when he does that, you can't help but smile as well. what an adorable lover, you got! but adorable doesn't seem to fit in ibara's vocabulary because to him, you're the adorable lover!

" hey, give me a minute and I'll be yours soon enough. " pushing away all your works as you shut off your computer in your shared home-office. you make your way to ibara.

he's all dressed comfy and ready to spend the night with you at home. he grabs your hand in his bigger ones. he drags you to the living room, and there lay all sorts of your favourite snacks. he even built you a mini forte to lay under as you both watch a movie or play a game on the television.

" wow~ what's the occasion? " you teased as he huffs out in satisfaction. did he colour you impressed with his work?

" my, just doing something for my dear lover. I had to fight a blonde this afternoon when I heard despite giving you a rest day, you're drowning in idol works! so I finished mine earlier today and head home to spend time with you. don't push yourself, even if we're both in different agencies when you need help. I'll be here for you! I'll even secretly do some of your works if you let me. " you felt tears threatening to spill, what is wrong with your workaholic lover? despite being sweet and kind to you. he wants more work when he still has idol work to balance!

you pinch his cheek as you puff out your cheeks in an attempt to play angry at him. you love him to death and is forever grateful to him. he has painted your dull world in every shade of colour there is in existence. in response to your action, the man brought a hand to pinch you back in the cheek.

you let out a gasp before using your other hand as he does the same, too. the man stops his assault to your cheeks as he starts to tickle you on your stomach which then caught you off guard as you fall on your back and he towers over your figure to tickle you once more. soon the room was filled with laughter and joy of the two.

you grab his hands in yours, stopping the tickles and both laughter to die down. soon serious expression takes over you as ibara gulps silently.

" I love you so much, and I'm thankful for everything you've done for me. you've done so much for cospro and I have my share of work to do in starpro. please don't burden yourself with my plate. though if I ever need a hand, I know who to turn to. I want to be there for you too! especially when you need it so let me help you with your works if you ever need it. " he pats your head upon hearing your words.

" alright, so work aside. do you want to play a game or watch a movie? I'll be down for anything you want to do, my dear~ " he says as he grabs your hand and kiss your ring finger, adored by the ring he propose to you with.

the night was filled with laughter and happiness once more. more happy memories await the two lovers.

[nhlclover]

the last time | arber xhekaj

summary: after arber leaves you for the second time you let him know he’s on his last strike.

request: yes / no

warnings: angst (w/ slight happy ending)

a/n: based on ‘the last time’ by taylor swift. i will take any excuse to write a taylor swift song fic. also i miss him :(

word count: 1.36k

Again. It happened again. This was the second time I had watched Arber walk out of my life. The first was five months ago.

We had been together for six months. Six months I had dealt with his schedule and late nights out after games. Six months I loved him and admired his passion. And then he broke up with me, saying he needed space. It hurt. More than any breakup I had been a part of before. But I let him go. If he needed space then I would give it to him. Two months went by where I was miserable. I had missed my boyfriend and slept alone in a bed that had become accustomed to two. Then, he was back.

He was at my door, saying he wanted me back. He said it was a mistake and he was overwhelmed with his newfound fame from being in the NHL and a new relationship. I believed him. I took him back and was happy to do so. Three months passed by where we pretended like we had missed no time. No skipped anniversaries, no missed date nights. We were good for three months before we were sitting in my living room, Arber telling me this was a mistake.

“I thought I was ready but I wasn’t.” He said. He had a hurt look on his face, the same one he wore when he left me the first time. “It will only hurt us more if I stay. And I don’t want to hurt you anymore baby.”

Once again, I let him go. I was left miserable once again, seeing little remnants of his touch on my life everywhere I went. Anytime I saw the Montreal logo I thought of him and his passion for the game. Anytime I heard Morgan Wallen I remembered the time we danced on the balcony at 2 am to Somebody’s Problem. 

On what should’ve been our one-year anniversary, I sat alone in my room, my tv playing an episode of Hell’s Kitchen that was barely holding my attention. My eyes burned from the tears that came in with every new memory that passed through my head. The memories of the boy I still loved — because my feelings hadn’t yet diminished — ran through my head like a movie. First kiss, first date, the first time he told me he loved me and how quickly I said it back. The first time he got in a fight on the ice and the mixture of the sense of pride and fear that coursed through me. Every career milestone and how happy I was for him.

But with all the good memories, I remember the bad ones. I remember how alone I felt when he left the first time, then how utterly stupid I felt when he left me for the second time. I couldn’t go out with my friends for the fear of seeing him made my anxiety spike. I remember lying awake at night, wracking my brain for answers because, even though Arber explained why he ended things, it felt like I was missing something.

A knocking sound coming from the front of the house pulls me from my thoughts, sending a wave of fear through me. It was the dead of winter and the middle of a snowstorm at nearly 10 pm, who would be coming to my door? I got out of my bed and slowly walked to the front door. The knocking persisted, getting louder every few seconds. I grabbed the tennis racket that sat on the floor of the coat closet and slowly cracked open the door.

The sight of the person on the other side sent a different kind of fear through me. Arber stood on my front stoop, a bouquet of pink and white tulips in hand. I opened the door fully, the cold air from outside causing goosebumps to form on my exposed legs. 

Arber’s eyes are soft and delicate when he looks into mine which are bloodshot and lined with soaked eyelashes.

“Why are you here?” I ask even though I already know the answer. 

“I fucked up…” He croaks out. “I can’t stop thinking about you…here alone. I hate that I caused this.”

He motions to my face on which tears have once again begun streaking down. I wipe them away using the sleeves of my sweater which just so happened to have belonged to Arber. “Can I come in?” He asks me.

I’m tempted to turn him away. To tell him no. He’s hurt me more than once and if I let him in, I can’t be sure he won’t again. But the moment I saw his face, all our good moments clouded over the bad ones, and it’s like everything was better. My love for him overshadows any hurt he made me feel. How could I possibly turn him away when I love him this much?

I opened the door fully, letting him in, and shutting the door behind him. As he removed his coat, he glanced down at the tennis racket in my hand. Arber looked at me his eyebrows furrowed.

“Arber, you came to my house in the middle of a snowstorm at 10 pm.” I tell him, putting the racket back in the closet. “I wasn’t just going to answer the door unarmed.”

Arber walks into my home, finding his way to the kitchen. He goes into the cabinet where I keep my vases and takes the scissors from their place in the drawer to cut the stems. He still remembered where I kept everything.

There are a few moments of silence as I watch him cut the stems, placing each flower into the vase. He fills the vase with water, putting it on the counter in front of me.

“Thank you, they’re beautiful.” I say softly.

“I know you like tulips.” He replied. I sigh, looking past the flowers at him. “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry baby.”

I avert my eyes feeling them begin to brim with tears. He comes around the counter, sitting on the barstool beside mine. “I know you’ve already given me a chance before and I blew it but… Please, y/n.”

“Why?” I ask him, looking at him with tears steadily falling from my eyes. “Why should I give you another chance, Arber? All you’ve done is prove you don’t deserve another one. I’ve given you a second chance and you wasted it.”

“I can’t tell you how much I’ve changed since, y/n.” He says. “I’ve grown as a person. I’ve found a way to deal with what it's like playing in the NHL and I know I can cope now. On top of that, I have never been as miserable as I am without you.”

I look at him, reading his expression carefully. His eyes scream nothing but sadness, the bags under his eyes telling much of the story. “How do I know you won’t leave me again?” I croak out.

“Baby, I can promise you I will never leave you again.” Arber says, cupping my cheek with his hand, wiping away a tear with his thumb. “I understand if you need time to think about it.”

There are so many thoughts going through my head all at once. I weigh out the bad memories and the good ones. I find my mind overwhelmed with the good ones, the love I have for Arber completely swaying my decision.

“Okay.” I say.

“Okay?” Arber repeats. “You’ll take me back?”

Arber has a grin on his face, bigger than the one he had when I told him I loved him. I nod. He scoops me up from the chair, spinning me around. Arber sets me down but keeps me in his arms. 

“Thank you, y/n.” He mumbles into my neck.

I wrap my arms around his neck, holding him close. The familiar scent of his cologne washed over me, comfort enveloping me. I lean back from Arber, looking up at him.

“This is the last time I’m letting you back in,” I tell him. 

“This is the last time I’ll ask.” He says.

[ninjaneonleon]

Start

Prev

Memories of the Past

Leo knew he had messed up. He barely remembered making the deal, barely remembered pledging his soul to that damn demon crow thing, yet here he was. Stuck as a fucking bird in a tutu.

At least Donnie seemed more present.

Ever since Leo had woken up from that weird trance he’d been in while he was Leandro, weird name choice by the way, Donnie had seemed more aware and attentive to Leo than he had in years. There was no memory problems at the moment, Donnie recognised Leo and seemed determined to take care of him. Leo wasn’t complaining. It was better than getting his ass beat.

Donnie didn’t seem as attentive or aware of their brothers. Where on a good day he’d be equally receptive to all of them, it seemed like donnie only really recognised Leo. Either that or his worry was blinding him. He had sent them away as soon as Leo had properly woken up. Leo didn’t even have a chance to talk to them himself, not that he would have known what to say.

“I told you, Dee, I’m fine.” Leo waved donnie off with a small laugh as Donnie kept checking over Leo’s wings. Because yeah, that was a thing. They felt as connected to Leo as his tail did and while the fussing was nice, it was a little weird. “Just some bruises that’ll fade by tomorrow night.”

“Yeah, but you still got hurt!” Donnie wailed, clinging to Leo from behind. He was so much more emotive since becoming the Lake Guardian. “I hurt you! I’m not supposed to hurt you, Leo.”

“You hurt Leandro. You didn’t hurt Leo. You hurt the asshole who was pretending to be me.” It was a weak argument but it seemed to do the trick. Donnie relaxed and rested his head on Leo’s shell, just between his wings.

“I’ve hurt you enough since I’ve been here. I don’t want to hurt you again.”

Leo’s expression softened. “You won’t.” Somehow, he knew that was true. Donnie would always recognise Leo now, even if Leo didn’t see Donnie as himself and instead as Othello. Why Othello, though?

“Hey Donnie? Why did the lake change your name?” Leo asked softly. “And why did the potion change mine? We have names, really cool names, so why did they get changed?”

“Leo… do you know what the lake is getting me to protect?” Donnie asked softly. Leo shook his head. No matter how many times Leo had asked in the past, Donnie had always glossed over it, point blank refused to talk about it or seemed to forget. With how aware he was now, it made sense that Donnie was more willing to share. “I’m protecting myself. My soul. And Odette’s. Normally the distinction is… hard. But since you’ve been here, I can remember it’s both of us down there, not just me.”

“Odette?” Leo blinked, then frowned. He knew that name. “Our sister?”

Donnie shook his head. “No. Well, not exactly.” He took a breath. “Odette was the last Lake Guardian, a mutant like us. And she was out here to protect her from her father.”

“The crow,” Leo whispered, his eyes going wide. “He wants her back. That’s why he wants the treasure.” His wings fluttered a little in discomfort. How could Leo have ever made a deal with someone like that? “And she’s my sister because he became my father.”

“He hated Odette and wants to destroy her even now.” Donnie nodded. “The Lake is here to protect her, a gift from her mother. And now, so am I. The magic saw me and thought I was her.” He laughed weakly. “I’m a mutant, I have mystic powers and—“

“And you’re a dancer.” Leo finished. “You basically told the Lake you were her. But wait, if the Lake is protecting her, where is she?”

“Her body is gone, her soul is still here. She lived a long time ago.” Donnie sounded sad. Because it was sad. Leo thought that Odette was someone he loved, he remembered her as his sister. They danced together, right? In the foyer of the castle. Danced for mother and father.

Leo groaned. No, that wasn’t right.

“Donnie, I think I’m remembering things I shouldn’t.” They didn’t have a mother. And Leo’s sister was a human called April, not another swan. Was he a swan? No, he was a cro- a turtle. “My head hurts. I don’t understand.”

“Leo, what do you remember about the potion you took?”

What did he remember. “It was… blue. Blue and glowing. And when I took it… it was like I was in the sky, but at the same time I was safe, deep underground.” God, it sounded like he had a drug trip or something. “And then I started to dance when music started and I knew all the moves and their names and it felt so—“

“Natural. Like you were remembering something you already knew.” Donnie finished with a sigh. He shook his head. “Leo, I don’t think it was just a potion you took.” Leo looked up at Donnie then, fear clawing at his chest. “I think it was a potion mixed with a soul.”

“What?! Whose soul?!” Leo screeched.

“Odille. Odette’s twin sister.”

So yeah! Part 5 is a thing now! I might even make a master post this thing is getting way bigger than I thought it would. Also I learned a bit more formatting it looks a little nicer. A little.

Edit: Part 6 is now a thing!

Swanatello belongs to @tangledinink

Crownardo belongs to @dryad-druid

You guys make me happy with your creativity ❤️

[blingblong55]

Baby Honey- Johnny "Soap" MacTavish

F!Reader, rockstar!Soap, mentions of drug consumption, rockstar au

Here's the thing: he still writes songs about me. My friends really like his voice but his tunes the most, they pretend they don’t like it at all because of me. One thing is for sure I know he isn’t over me. He always calls me drunk, usually late at night. But after so many tries and many more errors, I gave up and that's when  I started dating Simon a while back. He is a wealthy guy, he is really good to me, and he has taught me patience and most of all to never underestimate myself. Now don’t get me wrong, I’d never use Simon for his money, he is too good of a man and he’s very smart, besides he knows money isn't my thing.

“Now I'm getting older R/N, am I getting over you?” I can hear his smooth but deep chuckle through the phone.

“I guess we’ll never know darling” I answer and soon hang up. “You know, I can fix this problem right?” Simon says as he wraps his arms around me. He is always so caring and understanding, and so comfortable. To be completely honest I still want him in my life. I miss that part of my life. The rockstar's girl. The late nights. The bars. The drunk sex. The drunk makeout sessions. They drunk everything. The guy I was in love with. The way his blue eyes would soften when his eyes and mine met. His smile and voice.  All of it.

I swear I’m not thinking about you, but it feels good to think of you.

“Let’s go to bed beautiful” I nod and walk to bed. 

~2015~

“I think I’m in love!” his words slurred. “Me too! I love you!” I said, but before I went for another drink I realized that he didn’t mean he loved me, he was talking about the drug he was about to consume. That's when I walked away, his sober friends looked at me, with apologetic eyes. There was one guy who understood me, a dark-haired, man with a cute accent. “Take care of yourself.” He knew that, that was my last straw, and that I would definitely not come back this time. “Thank you for everything,” I responded.

My arms made their way to his body, “Don’t come back, you deserve better R/N.” was all he told me. “I won’t,” I whispered and once I broke the hug and made my way to the door, I took a last glance. This isn’t what I deserve. I left and will not look back. 

His POV

I never saw her after that night, or maybe that morning. Honestly, I was so fucked up at the time that my last memory with her is still a mystery to me. The guys blame me for it. Our drummer König almost quit the day she left. Actually, the four of them did, I had to go to rehab if I wanted the band back together. I did and it's the reason I’m only allowed to drink 5 beers per month now. That's usually the day I call her, and tell her everything.

“Oi, who's ready for another gig this weekend.”

“Price, you know what day the gig falls on, right?” I heard their not-so-secretive conversation. Price shakes his head. “It's the day R/N left,” Gaz spoke. “All right lads, let's get going," Krueger said. They always made me remember her just so I could learn my lesson. A few hours back when me and the guys were shopping for our upcoming tour I saw her. She was with this tatted fella. He was much larger than me, he was more built and to make matters worse, when she looked up at him she smiled. Like really smiled. When her eyes met him I could already tell she loved him, true love. At some point, I heard her laugh and it was him who was making her laugh. She hugged him and in that moment I could tell she felt comfortable. He held the door for her, something I never did. He listened to her, and would just stare and smile. And when she got excited he would too. Something I apparently never did. I was never good to her. But no one will ever know her sweet spots like me. “I love you sunshine,” he told her, I hope he knows she hates nicknames like that. “I love you most handsome,” she held his hand. “I love it when you call me that.” She smiled and I could hear her smile widen. Maybe after all she loved the nicknames. I wonder why she never told me. And why does he call her sunshine?

Her POV-

~The night she met him.~

“Hey gorgeous” the tall blue-eyed man spoke. “Leave me alone.” I hated nicknames from men who wanted nothing more but an adventure. If I was going to go all soft for a man it had to be with the right one. 

His POV

~Present day~

“Mate it's been years, c’mon Gaz found the perfect suitcase for you.” He pulled me in the opposite direction. Once I met with the rest, they handed me a beer. “For the trouble aye.”

“Thanks, lads,” I opened the bottle and started drinking. Once we had made it back to the studio, I started playing with my guitar. “Oh, I know he’s got the money baby honey does he make your night? Is it true he doesn’t touch you in the place the way I know you like? And I swear I’m not thinking about you all the time-”

fuck

“C’mon, you got this” Gaz said. “Just today, yesterday, every day and tomorrow night” I finished.

She took over me like it was nothing. Just the thought of seeing her with him hurt. She looks so happy when I’m not with her. Like that night in New York with Gaz. They had gone to that library because it was on her bucket list. I was too fucked up to care at the time. I followed them around. Saw that they were reading a book, her smile was so bright, that he looked over at her and smiled. They laughed. When they stepped outside I hid.

“Thank you for doing this with me.” She embraced him and kissed his cheek. Part of me wanted to come out of my hiding and punch him, but when I saw her and how happy she was I knew I couldn’t ruin a night like that for her. Neither of them knew I was there. “Why the nickname baby honey?” König asked. I stared at the wall.

“Her eyes in the sun looked like honey. And when she cried her eyes would get big like a baby and well that’s how my secret nickname for her became that.” Gaz made his way over to me. “She was the best.” He hugged me and made his way out. “I fucked a friendship for him huh,” I looked at Zain and then at Price. “Big time.”

“I also fucked up my love life.”

I finished.

We finished.

She continued with life, moved to a place that fit her best and for me, well, I stayed in the same place, in hopes she came back. I still wait for her. So much so that I leave my door unlocked, maybe she forgot her keys, and that way she can come in. I left her pillowcase the same. What if she missed it. And her favourite dress still hangs in my closet. The same dress she wore the night we met. Maybe then she remembered our moments and she’d leave that guy. Maybe just maybe my baby honey, with her gorgeous, pure and breathtaking mind would come back. 

A/N: wrote the name Simon in 2019, but changed the rest(to fit the story)...crazy to think years ago I was just a cod player and not a writer..for them.

[acourtofthought]

I was having a good conversation in a group and someone said some things that, in a way, I understand why they didn't want to.

But every Sarah couple needs to have REAL obstacles to overcome, sometimes I agree too much with a friend of mine who says that some people think they are impossible and don't really understand the quirks and things that the author likes.

And we know that Sarah goes from Hate to Love if she wants between couples, nothing is impossible for her.

The person told Elain she can't be with Lucien because he remembers the worst day of her life.

But if think about it like that, everyone involved in that day will remind her of that day, Nesta also doesn't let her forget it with her overprotection.

Nesta could hate everyone involved, whether or not it was her fault just because of the memory.

Oh, I wonder if I'm wrong in thinking that this doesn't mean that she just found a living culprit and can shift the blame, but it doesn't exactly mean that she hates him, but I think the problem is her ex-fiance who rejected her and didn't accept that she also has a fae partner and became a fae.

I think this brings anguish to the couple and that they will really have to overcome.

I don't know if my reasoning is correct, but I don't completely think that Elain blames Lucien for everything that day, but that she may not even ignore him based solely on a day that was terrible for her.

The first time Feyre met Rhys was when the three faries were sexually harassing her. The second time Feyre met Rhys was when he broke into her mind and scared her. The third time Feyre met Rhys was after she was taken to Amarantha UTM and he ended up using her in his schemes to try to save the fae from the curse. Nesta met Cassian for the first time after she spent a lifetime fearing the fae, a few months after Tamlin had broken into their home and kidnapped her sister. Feyre says she could scent the fear on both Nesta and Elain as they met the Illyrians. Yes, Lucien was there when Elain was turned and yes, she knew some of what had happened and that Tamlin had tried working with the King of Hybern but it has since been proven that Ianthe was the reason the sisters were there (not Lucien or Tamlin). It has since been proven that Tamlin was trying to play double agent to the King which did result in him being able to share important information at the High Lords meeting (which is really no different than Rhys playing double agent with Amarantha or Jurian playing double agent. They've all done it, it's only that Tamlin's did not go as planned because he was foolish and trusted Ianthe). Claiming she can't get past that after she invited him to come back to Velaris at the end of ACOWAR doesn't make a lot of sense, right? Claiming she can't get past something he didn't even directly do to her is ignoring that Feyre was able to move past multiple things Rhys specifically did to her in ACOTAR. I loved Feysands story but lets not pretend that Lucien set out to use Elain as a pawn in the same way Rhys did use Feyre. Also, Rhys acted of his own accord while Lucien felt obligated to follow along with what his High Lord wanted.....BECAUSE of the lies Rhys and Feyre had told everyone. Again...I loved Feysands story but the only reason Tamlin and Lucien allied with Hybern in the first place was because Rhys, Cassian, Az, etc. were all fine allowing others to think the worst of the NC, that they were murderers and torturers and that Feyre was in fact being harmed by Rhys (something she herself allowed Lucien to believe in ACOMAF when he found her in the woods). So if Elain is able to live with a people who tricked an entire land for centuries, causing others to fear for their lives and the lives of their loved ones only doing what they did to protect them from the NC, if she can love the brother-in-law, helping him in his own home and court, who once did what he did to her sister and and almost shattered her own mates mind, then I think she can and already has forgiven Lucien for anything that happened in the past, things that were beyond his control.