#because i think her player is the one who like.

[winterpinetrees]

I love the mechanic of having the players pick which NPCs to have join the fight in episode 2. I think it makes the theme of the battle clear in a way that Brennan choosing characters wouldn’t.

At first, it’s this orderly thing. Liam/Erro commits a picture-perfect act of heroism to get the crowd to fight, and he gets five people. The cast are all leaning over the battle map to pick which minis look like they can do the most damage because they’re running under the assumption that this is it. Brennan narrates that these are the people who would’ve fought anyway. Then Celia/Nia picks who she’s trying to usher away, because they’re thinking like heroes. They’re thinking like this is a situation that can have bystanders.

But Brennan makes it clear that isn’t something that can happen in the Calamity. There are people in the crowd who are weak, who should not be expected to fight, but they have to anyway, because no one else is coming. They can’t win this with five NPCs and a few Roaches. Nia runs back into the fight and now she’s shouting that everyone should join her. Erro gets stabbed and his last persuasion check isn’t clean or inspiring anymore, it’s just desperate. It’s a callback to a dead man after thirty seconds of buffering for words because hey! Being persuasive is hard! More NPCs join in, but now they’re just picking whoever is nearby. They choose a kenku that they explicitly chose not to pick in the earlier rounds, and that tiny birdman kills the first soldier. From there it’s a flood. The PCs level up, Crokas uses his vestige, victory etc.

The outcome of the fight is obvious. The 1200 commoners will rally to kill the seven soldiers because this is a story led by Brennan Lee Mulligan, but seeing every NPC on the battlemap in a pile in the center hits harder with the steps of how they got there.

[lastlabyrinth]

It's the CBC Black History Month Challenge!!!!!!!!!

sqex recently failed to adapt a winning player hairstyle design, one with coils, into the game. i think all of us were pretty disappointed when they claimed they didn't have the technology to do it right. it's good that they want to try again someday. but until then i think it'd be nice if we allowed ourselves to imagine the characters of ffxiv with Black features even if they can't look that way yet in game.

if you haven't done custom deliveries yet in endwalker, may i suggest you give them a try? it's a great questline and Margrat is a brilliant, nerdy Black woman. without her effort and knowledge (and titanic amounts of coffee, judging from her energy levels) our heroes would never have reached the ends of creation to save the universe. but moreover i think she's just so charming… she is not just an engineer and scientist but an advocate for her fellow workers. and while she's already beautiful, i thought she would be beautiful with natural hair, too.

Now for the important part. To my Black followers: You belong in science, engineering, and professional spaces. You belong in stories. You belong in games!! And you belong just as you are. You are not too dark; your natural hair is not dirty or unprofessional or "too hard" to draw or model. The art you touch is enriched for your presence, and the places you're shut out from are the poorer for your absence. It's a question of effort and a question of Black presence in creative spaces, and I'm angry that we can't make a character who looks like this in FFXIV. So until (and even after!) you can, I hope you let your imagination run wild and invite yourself into every space that lacks your magic. I love you!!

there's not many days left in BHM but i'll still tag my friends @ababblesaurus, @myrfing, @flower-waltz and @saprophilous because i bet they would draw something cool if they had time….

[loredrinker]

Framing Forgiveness - Solas Atonement Ending (Romance)

There are a few things that stand out for me around Lavellan’s forgiveness of Solas in the Atonement ending. 

1) Only a romanced Inquisitor speaks words of forgiveness to Solas specifically 2) Lavellan’s forgiveness comes before Mythal speaks  3) Mythal does not ask for forgiveness 

Lavellan Forgives 

Forgiveness is not comfortable; it is controversial because it can be viewed as weak or foolish. However, it is an incredibly strong act of free will and when given in truth, it offers spiritual, emotional and psychological healing. It liberates the forgiver and the forgiven.  

I’m actually impressed that the devs made this choice in the game and chose to tie it to love, framing it as an intimate and emotional act - an act of love.  

Forgiveness is about choosing to let go of resentment, it breaks cycles of guilt and vengeance, it helps to shift beliefs rooted in self-loathing. It does not erase what has been done. But it grants Lavellan agency. To forgive is to refuse to be defined by suffering. She is not the victim of his betrayal but takes ownership of how this story ends.

And what makes forgiveness powerful is that it forces the forgiven to see themselves through the eyes of the forgiver. For a man who has spent so long seeing himself as the villain, the betrayer, the destroyer - what must it be like to be met, instead, with grace – from the woman he admits he betrayed? 

One of the more difficult aspects of forgiveness, and why some may struggle with it, is that it isn’t always earned. Some don’t like that Solas could be forgiven before he has earned it. But the game doesn’t present forgiveness as a reward – it presents it as a gift. And that is when forgiveness is at its most powerful, when it can change a person, when it offers healing.  

Limiting the forgiveness to a romance is interesting. To have all characters forgive Solas would have made forgiveness feel like a general moral principle, rather than the personal act of emotional transformation I think Veilguard was going for in the Atonement ending. It also offers the idea that true redemption begins with love, not with punishment. If we only forgive someone when we feel they have fully atoned, then forgiveness is not about grace, it’s a transaction.  And that’s the messy thing about forgiveness, it comes first, when there is no guarantee that the forgiven will atone.   

I think for Solas’ arc, that gift of forgiveness is highly symbolic and impactful considering his history.  

And I love that the devs chose to position her forgiveness ahead of Mythal.  

Lavellan’s Forgiveness Before Mythal’s Release 

Sola's life has been dominated by Mythal – a bond as profound as it was painful.  With Lavellan offering forgiveness before Mythal speaks, she is standing independently from Solas’ legacy of entanglement with Mythal, away from all that pain and regret. 

Lavellan’s forgiveness is not divine or bestowed like a ruler pardoning a crime – her forgiveness is mortal, intimate and human.  By positioning this before Mythal, we are reminded of his humanity, but also of his personal connection to Lavellan, that she symbolizes a place for him to belong as himself – as Solas. He was Solas first, after all.  

Solas’ turning point isn't dictated by Mythal’s authority alone, but also by this personal moment.  If we, the player were only given Mythal’s voice at the end without the voices of Rook and Lavellan before her, it might have felt like a convenient way to absolve Solas of his guilt.  Instead, this gradual approach – Rook’s appeal, Lavellans’ forgiveness and then Mythal’s release – make this emotional shift feel earned rather than a deus ex machina moment.  

Mythal Does Not Seek Forgiveness Nor Offer An Apology 

If Mythal had asked Solas for his forgiveness, it would have acknowledged that Solas had power over her in that moment.  By having Mythal not seek forgiveness, the game reinforces that their relationship was never truly equal, that Mythal always dictated the terms.  Mythal had to be the one to dictate the terms of their parting.  It is also a fascinating exploration of their differences – Solas carries guilt, Mythal carries responsibility. She acknowledges they did many wrongs together, made terrible choices together, but she does not seek emotional resolution for it. 

If Mythal had apologized it would suggest that the past can be undone, old wounds closed.  But Mythal doesn’t give Solas any of that. This is very fitting – Solas' entire story has been about trying to fix his past mistakes.  Mythal’s lack of apology forces him to accept that some things cannot be undone and she denies him an easy emotional resolution. Instead, he must find his own way forward, despite the wrongs he did.   

Lavellan’s Forgiveness – Mythal's Release 

Mythal releases Solas as a leader releases a soldier. Lavellan stays as a lover choosing to stand beside him. Mythal says “I release you.”, Lavellan says “There is no fate but the love we share.” Mythal’s statement is about a duty ending.  Lavellan’s is about love enduring.   

But Solas’ fate is in his own hands now – and that moment where he looks back at the tear in the Veil, he is choosing.   

I feel like I need to add that this isn’t about diminishing Rook here. Rook offers a chance to atone - tied to duty. Returning the dagger to Solas is a gesture of trust, an acknowledgment that he still has a choice - but it comes with an expectation: bind yourself to the Veil. Set things right. Like Mythal, Rook does not release Solas from consequence.  

But this post is focused on forgiveness - its power, and that Lavellan offers the personal, emotional resolution that Mythal withholds.

I really appreciate the game having the courage to incorporate forgiveness into this world state. To offer grace as an aspect of this story’s ending is beautiful and fitting in the Veilguard setting, a game where many of the companions have to walk through their own forms of forgiveness and letting go.  

Forgiveness can be uncomfortable because it challenges the idea that justice is solely about punishment. It forces us to reckon with the full complexity of a person - not just their worst actions. In Solas’ case, it requires seeing him as more than the sum of his crimes - it demands acknowledging that he was not only a destroyer but also someone who cared, who loved, and who suffered. And by contrast, it demands viewing Lavellan and her forgiveness in the same light - not as naive or weak, but as someone making a deliberate, choice of strength to see beyond her own pain and shape what comes next.  

[wherearedagrapes]

The deleted scene from the second movie where Maddie almost lets Sonic off the hook for sneaking out because he brings her (a ridiculous amount of) roses and Tom (who realizes immediately what Sonic’s trying to pull) has to keep Maddie on track also highkey reminds me of Amy and her hopeless romantic side lol like she would definitely swoon over a gesture like that and almost forget she’s mad.

Maddie’s so funny. I really do hope we get to see more of her. (Just realized Maddie and Tom are also wearing pink and blue here lol)

More thoughts on Amy under the cut.

If Amy is indeed on a mission to save the future/world, I can definitely see her having little self-preservation. The world — all the lives counting on her — matter so much more than her own life and desires. And if she’s been alone a decent while, I can see her having some trust issues or wanting to do a lot by herself… Amy (at least the Amy in the games I grew up with) has also always been bullheaded, take-charge, and kinda reckless. In the movie, it seems like she’s been tracking the Metal Sonics and knows way more about what’s going on than the others.

With all that in mind, I can see her taking over and maybe steamrolling “Team Sonic” at first, much to Sonic’s chagrin. He would try to be cool about it despite his wounded ego, but he would feel bossed around and unheard, and I can see them butting heads over this early on. Like I can see Sonic lowkey not following one of Amy’s plans out of spite and to prove his strategy is good if not better than hers and causing a mess. I can see Amy during one of her plans putting way too much of the dangerous responsibilities on her self and Sonic having to save her. I can see Amy struggling to be a team player, but in many ways she’d be similar to Sonic. And it could be a good way for Sonic to learn what it’s like for his friends when he disregards them/runs off into danger without them… How scary it is to be on the other side of that, to watch someone you care about be reckless with their own life or determined to do too much on their own. How frustrating, when all you want to do is help them.

You mentioning that Amy could see attachments as trouble is interesting because I’ve been thinking a lot about… IF Amy is from the future, isn’t she doomed to nonexistence? Depends on the time travel rules the movie chooses to follow ig, but logically, if the gang changes the future, the Amy that is a product of the bad future will disappear, right? If the future is changed/saved, then Amy would have no reason to time travel in the future. And if she never time travels, she never meets the Wachowskis… Wouldn’t it be like they never met?

I doubt the movie would actually end that way, but I can see this complicating things. I can see Amy going into this knowing/accepting from the start that she’s probably going to disappear if she succeeds in saving the future. She’ll change when the future does. She’ll become a different Amy with a different life. It’s not much of a burden until she meets Sonic and his family and starts growing attached to them. Now, she has something to lose. She’s carrying this bombshell around by herself because she doesn’t want anyone to put the mission at risk. Saving the future is too important. But she doesn’t want to leave. She doesn’t want to lose these new connections. She doesn’t want to be forgotten...

Which circles back to those ideas of being too selfless and trying to handle too much by yourself. What Amy wants doesn’t matter, but it’s harder and harder to deny her feelings and the part of her that wants to keep this love and happiness she’s (maybe finally) found on Earth. She needs to trust her friends. She needs to let her friends help her. But that’s easier said than done.

With Amy coming along, I can't stop thinking about the Amy-Sonic/Tom-Maddie parallels.

You know, the pink and blue scheme, Tom having a similar personality to Sonic and Amy possibly having some similarities to Maddie, Amy and Maddie possibly being two big city girls with Amy being from New York and Maddie from San Francisco while Tom and Sonic are both from Green Hills, the setup of Amy plus 3 Wachowski siblings as well as Maddie and Tom, who canonically have siblings too.

They've been foreshadowing this couple since the second movie, fight me!!

(and Tom x Maddie are the parents and couple ever, I love them!)

(Also, please give Maddie more prominence. She's awesome!)

[anakinstwinklebunny]

PAIRING: popular!hockey player!anakin x nerd!reader

FLUFF ❦

You are going to kill him. Starting with his hands, then his stupidly-handsome face and this insufferable grin. The rest is just a matter of your anger and frustration. Why? Because ANAKIN SKYWALKER had been playing with you for weeks, claiming you as his new victim. Stealing your food, stealing your things, stealing your time, and probably - definitely - stealing kisses from you..

"You," you seethed, pointing an accusative finger at him, eyes narrowing at the thick novel he twirled lazily between his long-too-tempting fingers. "Give. It. Back."

Anakin's eyes snapped the moment he heard your voice, setting them right on your face. With that, he let his lips curl into this grin you found insufferable (let's highlight that) and hot. In all his cocky, utterly beautiful glory, he had the nerve to lean back in his chair, stretch his long legs out, before spreading them, and flipping through pages like he had all the time in the world.

"Mm," he hummed, pretending to skim a sentence. "Y’know, sunshine" he clicked his tongue "This is pretty interesting stuff. Who knew you were into—" he glanced at the cover, lips curling, "—grumpy historical philosophers?"

"You wouldn’t understand," you muttered, reaching for it— or just trying to, because he yanked it away at the last second, holding it just out of your reach.

Maker, you hated him. Despised him. (Did not, under any circumstances, thought about him at night, or in class, or in very specific daydreams that made your lower stomach do things.)

"Alright," he mused, tapping his chin. "I'll give them back… but only if you give me a kiss."

You blinked. "A what."

"A kiss," he repeated, completely unfazed, as if the request was normal..to him, of course. "Right here." He tapped his lips, smirking like he knew it would drive you crazy. "C’mon, sunshine, it's a fair trade."

Your face burned. Eyes deeply, shockingly gazed into his "Anakin, I swear to the Maker—"

"Ohhh, she’s threatening me now," he teased, blue eyes twinkling. He had the time of his life.. "What are you gonna do, huh? Report me?"

"Yes!"

"To who?" He laughed, tilting his head. "Mr. Kenobi? Because I just saw him leave for his lunch break. You could wait until he’s back, but…" He sighed dramatically, pressing his lips in fake-dissapointed, thin line "I don't think you have time, sweetheart."

You groaned, ready to throw the biggest tantrum right there in the hallway. Or throw the nearest chair at him, again, you weren't sure "You’re insufferable!"

"And yet, I think you still love me."

"No, I don’t."

"Liar."

You glared at him so hard, with such anger, hatred (not really), pure irritation at every cell in his body that decided to play with you, to tease you, to make your little comfortable world burn to the heels with madness. Yet, the problem was—Anakin wasn’t fazed at all. No, instead, his gaze softened, and his voice dropped into something more gentle, more reverent.

"You are so beautiful when you're mad, you know that?" he murmured, smirk fading into something softer, something fond, something that made your face burn as if it was on fire.

Because Anakin always did this. He always worshiped you, even in the most ridiculous moments, like he couldn't help but be absolutely, completely smitten by whatever you were doing. And it was weird, to be honest. After all, who were you, really? Just a nerdy girl with glasses, who spent most of her time reading books and playing games for kids...while, Anakin Skywalker, was the breathing perfection of this school. Talented hockey player, too handsome face, deep voice, A-student that didn't even learn (he had his ways)..every girl drooled on him, and yet, you were the one he chose..

"...Fine," you muttered, heat creeping up your neck.

"Fine what?"

"Fine I'll kiss you!" Anakin barely had time to process your angry response further before you grabbed his face and pressed the quickest, most barely-there kiss to his lips—just enough to make his breath hitch, to leave him stunned, to hopefully make him give your stuff back

When you finally pulled away, he blinked, looking shamelessly dazed. And that's to the God above, your book—once held hostage—was shoved back into your arms.

"...Damn," Anakin muttered, dreamingly gazing at your face "Should’ve asked for two."

You rolled your eyes, pushing past him. You did not want to be near Anakin Skywalker ever again...for today..at least for this hour.

TAG LIST: @kingdomhate @divineani @haydensprettyprincess @skyguys-princess @catnipaddictt @heartscone @haydensbbg @inneedsoffanfics @jediavengers @babybell-cheese @anisluvrgirl @slutforfinnickodair @xhunnybeeex @fuckmyskywalker @gallerygourmet @ysrjune @anakinskwkler @cookybananas @emotionallybruisedx @diorvalentina @sevinax @throughparisallthroughrome @aniiuv @ritosparty @ninastyless @lily-strnlo @thesassypadawan @awhhayden @sydkneez @anisangeldust @l1ttle-misssunsh1ne @anakinca @rubiesarepretty @luluartpop @cloverina @nikiloveshayden

[jeanmoreautemple]

TGR wrap up thoughts:

Chapter 17 might just be the worst torture in the whole series. This is why I can’t read an Andrew POV book. My heart woudn’t take it. I hope Zane gets paralyzed or gets killed violently or something.

Chloé Moreau was a full on mob wife that could have civilians killed just like that? And the Algerian arms dealer that Elodie was sold to was a contact of hers?? Carmela Soprano or Connie Corleone vibes I’d say.

JEAN HAS A CHILDHOOD!! EXY YOUTH!! TEAMMATE!!! THAT CARES!! and knew about Elodie!!!!

I want to apologize to everyone for doubting Jerejean being balanced, it’s clear Jeremy will need Jean as much as Jean needs him.

Jeremy exclusively sleeping with people who treat him like his family??? Belittling his efforts and calling him a whore?? Who choke him and don’t care that they leave marks on him?

Jean finding Laila hot!! Jeremy wasn’t completely lying when he told his mom Jean had a crush on her, and I know it makes him nervous.

Annalise blushing just from seeing Jean in person- the satisfaction I felt was unmeasurable.

Jeremy obsessing over Jean’s taste in women but not in men? Getting crazy jealous of Laila, Renee and Annalise but not Kevin? Interesting.

Jean knowing how to braid hair!!! Because of Elodie!! 🥲 Laila brushing Jean’s hair and Jean braining hers??

So many wrist and temple kisses???? This is beautiful. And in a Nora book??

Elodie is officially “missing” and interpol can’t track her sale? Oh Nora don’t make me hope…

If she’s actually dead then both Noah and Elodie would have been dead for 4 years as of 2007, assuming Elodie was killed shortly after being sold to the armsdealer in Algiers.

Jean is already good at cooking, ceramics and knows how to drive a motorcycle 🥹

Jeremy’s biological dad is in Korea? He was removed af with Jeremy in their call but I seriously think he’s gonna support Jeremy if he decides to leave the Wilshires.

Jeremy and Jean being called faggots and whores by Jeremy’s hookups, his biological brother, Warren Wilshire, the press and other exy players, and just about anyone outside the Trojans… it was enough with Jean’s rumours and Lucas… WHYYY NORA

Overall Colleen, Thea and Sergio and this Finn might have been the nicest ravens to Jean? But he still puts Zane in that group after chapter 17 wtf.

Jeremy craving Jean so badly when Jean leaned into him and was between his legs in the hotel room vs Jean getting immediately uneasy and putting Jabberwocky between them when Jeremy put his head near Jean’s crotch area… I can’t wait to see how Nora will handle them getting intimate.

A word for word confirmation that every single person in the nest knew Jean’s age. I don’t have to delete my three posts about it yayy.

Now the public knows Jean’s age too!!! Hope the slut shaming drecreases a bit too.

Jeremy needs to cry. In Jean’s arms.

William Hunter basically saying he’s on Jeremy’s side and not Mathilda’s… I hope they keep in touch when Jeremy leaves for good / Mathilda & Warren kick him out in book 3. I wonder if he’s gonna be the one to give Jeremy his passport and other documents ?

Derek, Derrick and Sebastian not being sure whether Jean likes girls but not having any doubts on whether he likes men lmao.

Cody going “can I ask you something? You can lie…” when he mentioned that Jeremy must absolutely love how Jean says his name hshshsh EVERYBODY KNOWS.

Renee and Jean lying to each other when they ask if they are okay 🙃

Renee supporting Jerejean?? Idk how to feel about that, it’s been only a few months! She’s stronger than me for sure.

Cat and Jean matching bikes!!!

Aaron driving Andrew’s car after the trial!!!! LETS GOOO

Andrew and Renee being press partners and Andrew not saying a single word, BFFs.

Idk how to feel about the Ravens going psycho on live TV. They weren’t even playing or trying to hide it, they were just swinging for the foxes. I felt like it was all very convenient and kinda fanservicey.

Thea showing up again for like 3 pages and fruitfully telling the new gen ravens to kill themselves?? I’ll take it😭 but proclaiming absolute loyalty to old racist Tetsuji? Didn’t Jean say that he killed a freshman boy in her last year?

Jeremy and Renee speaking for the first time on the phone, about Jean!! How awkward was it? I want them to meet in person but it’d be so bittersweet for Jeanee.

Cat and Laila suspiciously made absolute 0 comments on Jerejean this book, when even Renee was teasing. Jeremy erasing the text message about Renee’s looks so Laila wouldn’t start asking questions, but then he just openly searches for a Marseillais French teacher? They are being careful af.

Jeremy blurting to Jean “Maybe Laila’s not as good with her tongue” is CRAZYyy and Jean recovering surprisingly well by saying “I will tell her you said that” . It’s as if Jeremy always has his feelings in check except with sex?? He’s worse than Jean.

I still can’t believe Warren called Jeremy you little faggot just like that. Fuck him, Mathilda and Bryson.

Kevin’s exy tunnel vision was depressive af to read: “Everything I want and need still lies ahead of me; it is a waste of time to look back so long as that holds true” ????? But he needs to drink to talk and lie about the nest and Riko??

I get Kevin and Thea have grown complacent with the nest and don’t have much need to challenge what they saw and experienced because they love exy first and foremost and they are doing great in that regard but omg I can’t believe Jean is close to being the healthiest ex Raven???

Bryson was such a caricaturesque loser villain, he got beaten up by Jean and only ran away to show his mommy?? He better have been the one to leak Jean’s address.

Oh James Rhemann… the man that you are.

Once again I want to erase chapter 17 from my mind. The trilogy finale better be the happiest I’ve ever seen.

WILL JOSHUA SHOW UP?

Jean’s childhood teammate’s letter, the marseillais tutor, Chloé revealed to call some serious shots in the Moreau family? I think it’s all a big giant red herring towards Elodie 🥹

[brainddeadd]

I just think it would be funny if baby devil had the pinkest softest style off the ice

Pretty in Pink

Y/N had always known she was different.

Not just because she was one of the few women playing in the NHL, but because she did it while embracing the soft, feminine side of herself. She loved hockey with everything in her, but she also loved pink, lace, sparkles, and all the things people didn’t typically associate with the sport.

And for the most part, she didn’t care what anyone thought.

Until she saw the comments.

“She’s too soft for this league.”

“Why does she dress like a doll? She’s supposed to be a hockey player.”

"She sticks out like a sore thumb.”

“No one takes her seriously.”

It was one thing to deal with chirping on the ice, but this felt different. It wasn’t about her skill or her stats—it was about who she was. And for the first time, it made her wonder if maybe she really didn’t belong.

She didn’t bring it up to the guys. She knew they’d be pissed, and the last thing she wanted was to cause a scene. So she brushed it off, put on a brave face, and acted like it didn’t bother her.

Until she walked into the team lounge and saw them.

Jack. Nico. Luke. Dawson.

All of them.

Wearing pink.

Jack was in a pastel hoodie, leaning casually against the counter with a knowing smirk. Luke had on a rose-colored beanie, adjusting it like he wanted to make sure she noticed. Dawson was in a pink crewneck, arms crossed, looking way too proud of himself. And Nico—ever the leader—was in a full pink tracksuit, sipping his coffee like this was a normal Tuesday.

Y/N froze in the doorway. “What… what is this?”

Jack grinned. “What? We can’t just be supportive teammates?”

Luke shrugged. “You love pink. We figured we’d see what the hype was about.”

Dawson smirked. “And you gotta admit, we look good.”

Y/N’s throat tightened, emotion welling up in her chest. She wasn’t a crier, but this? This was something else.

“You guys…” She swallowed hard. “You didn’t have to do this.”

Nico set his coffee down, his usual calm, steady presence grounding her. “Yeah, we did.” His voice was softer now, more serious. “We saw what people were saying. And they’re wrong.”

Jack pushed off the counter, walking up to her. “You don’t have to change a damn thing, Baby Devil.”

Luke nodded. “You being girly doesn’t make you any less of a hockey player.”

Dawson nudged her shoulder. “If anything, it just makes you cooler.”

Y/N let out a shaky laugh, blinking back the tears threatening to fall. “You guys are idiots.”

“Yeah, but we’re your idiots,” Jack said, throwing an arm around her shoulders.

She looked at each of them—her teammates, her friends, her brothers in all but blood—and for the first time in days, she didn’t feel out of place.

She felt seen.

She felt loved.

And as they sat down to eat, a thought crossed her mind.

They really did look good in pink.

[snowflakes-and-cupcakes]

— this is what forever feels like x mathew barzal

chapter 1: to start something new

♡ word count: 2.8k ♡ contains: golden retriever Barzy being an insatiable flirt main ♡ prev ♡ next

As far as first days go, yours actually isn’t so bad.

Your new boss, Katy, is nice. She’s all smiles, not much older than you, and toes the line between professional and sporty in white sneakers and a relaxed navy blazer. The pleasant look on her face doesn’t completely hide the fact that she’s wary of a network hire, but you would be, too.

You feel woefully underqualified, having gone from managing the social media for an independent bookstore to freelancing once it got priced out of Manhattan rent to…this. You wouldn’t hire yourself, if you were her.

But you need the money and Hope got you this job, so you’re going to kill it. You have no other choice.

In short, you’re desperate.

So, you sit through the media team meeting in a conference room where all the chairs don’t fit around the table. There are so many people—writers like you, photographers, strategists, buyers—and you naturally gravitate to one of the extra chairs lining the wall because you feel so out of place.

But, you have to give it to yourself, the presentation from the department’s director makes sense. You’re following along, and you understand your part in it, so you take a breath.

This is going to be just fine. It’s only temporary.

“Since I forgot to give you a tour,” Katy announces with both hands on the half-wall of your cubicle, “we’re going on one now, and then we’ll meet your friend in physio for lunch before touring Northwell together.”

It’s all a lot to take in, but you manage. By the time you get to the ice center and Hope joins you, you’re on the edge of being overloaded with information, but you’re mostly sure you’re never going to have to be here, anyway. Your work is all in the background, all at the business offices—you’re not one of the social people who gets the team on camera—but it’s still nice to see where Hope works.

Honestly, though, you were kind of expecting more.

She’s one of several physios working for the team, but she shows you the space of the ice center gym that’s hers. Weights, soft mats, medicine balls—your eyes glaze over until someone brushes past you.

“Hey, sorry,” he says. He’s fast, you think, or maybe something about him makes your mind screech to a halt. He’s tall and broad-shouldered, with a mess of dark hair that tapers down his neck. An Islanders-blue t-shirt stretches over his back, and black shorts stretch over his butt when he bends to pick something up off the ground.

He holds up his phone, grinning an ask-for-forgiveness-not-permission kind of smile. “Forgot this. Sorry, Hope.”

Oh. Oh. 

That’s just Mathew Barzal, casually bursting into your conversation. No big deal. You know hockey tangentially—Hope’s the bigger fan than you, but you’re from the island and therefore know the most-photographed players because you see them all. The. Time.—so it takes you a second to put the famous name to the handsome-but-shockingly-normal face in front of you.

It’s not so much the name, the fame, or even the physique that gives you pause when you look at him, but a sort of essence. The air around him snaps and jolts with life, but it’s easy and exciting like backyard fireworks on the Fourth of July. Even when he’s not the one speaking, his energy sizzles.

It’s warm. And…something unexpected, something you can’t quite name.

Oh, no?

His eyes are on you. “I’m Mat.”

Funny how he thinks he needs to introduce himself. No, not funny—it’s sweet. You tell him your name, and when you do, you swear you watch hazel eyes drift down, then back up, and his boyish smile grows a little bit wider.

“Are you new here? I mean—physio.” He laughs at himself, and then slows down, backs up, and starts over, all in his head. Slowly, with a grin that’s both self-deprecating and confident, he tries again, “Are you a new physiotherapist?”

He sounds so hopeful, almost like a puppy, that you hate to tell him no. “I’m a writer for social media. Very background stuff.”

Although you play that off like a joke, expecting him to laugh, something on his face dims. His smile turns polite instead of excited and he nods his head at you. “Yeah? Nice to meet you.”

He gestures again with his phone, wordlessly reminding everyone that he got what he wanted and he’ll be on his way. Hope and Katy each get a quick nod, but you? You get another glance that lingers and looks right through you, curious but also a little disappointed, like he hoped for more and doesn’t know how to handle not getting it.

Even after he leaves, you feel like something just happened—but you’re not sure what.

“We’re going out,” Hope tells you when the day is over and she’s walking you to her car, “and I’m paying for your drinks because it’s your first day at a new job, not…you know. Pity party’s over; now, we’re celebrating!”

You give her a look. “Thanks.”

Sarcasm aside, you really do mean it.

She takes you to the next town over (closer to the colleges, you recall, so the bars are trendier and cheaper) and you two wander down a Main Street-esque strip with two salons for every bagel shop, and two bagel shops for every bar. It’s blocks and blocks long, stretching as far as you can see while the sun sets. You two shove your hands in your coat pockets to keep them warm, walking arm-in-arm.

The snow on the sidewalks has been shoved aside and now remains partially melted, gathered in hills and valleys that back against the shops’ weathered brick and siding.Your nose stings, the tip frigid, but this is the kind of cold that’s not that bad when the wind isn’t gusting.

It’s just a normal, calm winter evening with a pale purple sky hinting spring is coming…eventually.

With Hope beside you, it feels a little like college again, and the joy you felt in those days returns with a nostalgic undertone. It’s more mature, but also more fond. You miss days like this with your best friend, but you’re grateful for this one.

“Now, if you’ll follow me down the murder alley,” she jokes, steering you down a narrow strip of pavement between two sets of buildings, “and trust me when I drag you through an unmarked door…”

Said door, painted purple and adorned only with a wreath made of brass-colored metal leaves and berries, opens up to reveal a narrow bar lit in dim amber. The ceiling lamps look like they were borrowed from an old movie, and they’re entwined with garlands of faux flowering vines. The bar itself reaches all the way to the back of the room, and the comfiest-looking padded stools dot their way down. A handful of booths populate the other wall, and the world’s tiniest stage crowds the back corner.

A few other people are already there, and no one looks up, lost in their own perfect world. The only sound is low conversation punctuated by laughter and shaking, swirling ice as the bartender makes drinks. No TVs, no recorded music, just something very real, very human, and very, very attractive to you right now.

Hope beams at you. “Speakeasy. That’s literally what it’s called—I think.”

“It doesn’t have a name,” the bartender, a woman with a high ponytail dyed pomegranate red informs you. “Call it what you like. I’m Delilah.”

You introduce yourself and ask for a drink as you sit down and Hope opens up a tab. After Delilah slides your drink in a vintage, purple-tinted glass in front of you, you turn back to Hope. “Is this new?”

She shrugs. “Things change so often around here; you know that. I don’t think any of our old college bars are still open.”

You dramatically sigh. “I miss Dizzy’s.”

“You most certainly do not,” Hope laughs. “Pretty sure that’s where that one freshman got all up on—”

She stops short and clears her throat. Your ex. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” you quickly say, waving her off, but you still drown your frown in a long sip of your drink. It feels impossible to reminisce about college—the backdrop of some of your favorite memories—without his face clouding the scene. You started dating him, then a junior, halfway through freshman year.

Seven years. You gave that asshole seven years. He’s getting nothing more out of you.

You take another drink to that. “I can’t just not talk about him.”

Hope’s eyes are full of sympathy. “But it’s so fresh.”

“It was over before it was over.” You wrinkle your nose, not sure where that came from, but it feels right as soon as it leaves your mouth. “We may as well have been roommates by the end of it.”

Long before, even. If only you saw the signs as they were popping up in front of you instead of now, in hindsight.

“Hey!” 

You look up to see Delilah pointing in your direction, brow furrowed. “No hockey.”

You realize that Delilah isn’t pointing at you, but behind you—above you. You turn, and there are six familiar hockey players strolling in. Their eyes land on the combination of you and Hope and, recognizing her, they surround you like a small crowd.

It’s endearing, how they all move together like a little flock of ducks.

“Don’t worry about us, Delilah. No hockey,” Adam Pelech says over Hope’s head. “Just, uh, six…”

“Pals,” Bo Horvat finishes. He looks down at you and Hope, then wags a finger between you two, above your heads. “Eight, actually. Cancel their tabs and put whatever they’re drinking on Barzal’s card.”

“Delilah likes a more…gathering-spot kind of feel,” Hope supplies, leaning close to you. “No TVs. No sports. Nothing too modern except the health codes.”

“We hope,” Mat interjects. He slides up right behind you, hand on the bar on your left, blocking you in. There’s that sparkling energy again; here, though, in the dim lighting, it feels different. Less boyish, more…

Mat interrupts your thoughts by tapping his beer against your drink. Had you been distracted, staring at him for so long that you missed drinks being handed around? Oh, no. His eyes are full of playfulness, friendliness, and it’s all directed at you. “Happy first day, writer.”

You laugh. “Thanks, professional athlete.”

“So, tell me something about you,” he instantly replies, all smiles. “Make it something no one else knows.”

The look you give him makes him laugh. “Why?”

“Because we’re friends.”

“Are we?”

“We will be…” He trails off, shifting closer as someone moves behind him on the way to the bathroom. Even when they’ve passed by, though, he doesn’t move away. “...after you tell me something about you no one else knows.”

“Okay,” you drag out the vowels. “My life is in shambles.”

“Aw, be serious.”

“I am!” You turn to him, drink now finished, and plant your hands on your knees. You have to arch a little just to look up at him, and that makes something stir in your chest. “I just moved back to the island after living in the city, which, hi, that’s a kick in the gut of my confidence—”

He glances over your shoulder, looking at Hope. “—and I feel like at least one person already knows that—”

“—but what no one else knows,” you pause, waiting until he raises a brow at you, “is that, when I don’t feel like trash about it, I kind of feel…free. Freer.”

Laughter bursts behind you, Delilah shouts something from across the room, but Mat’s eyes remain on you. It’s only been a couple of weeks, so you’re only just starting to put words to feelings you didn’t know existed. In the rubble of your life, you’re still able to find things that make you laugh and smile; things like quiet, hidden bars and weirdly electrifying looks from this hazel-eyed hockey player.

“Okay, that’s getting somewhere. You know I was fishing for something like, ‘I threw up in my mom’s handbag in the second grade,’ though, right?”

Your gaze flicks up just in time for him to take a long, pointed sip of beer, and you’re starting to realize this man is unserious, all dramatic flair and laughter. His throat bobs, and you have to tear your eyes away from it. “What does it say about me that I went for something deep, though?”

“Maybe it says something about me,” he tsks.

“What could it possibly say about you?”

He nudges your empty glass with his pinky. “That I bought you too many of these and didn’t even know it.”

“I only had one!”

“Really?” He laughs, and it carries throughout the room in a way that wraps around you, insulating you from everything else. He raises his left hand and waves to get Delilah’s attention, then holds up two fingers. “Can we get another when you have a second, D?”

When the second round comes, he sits down. “Best part of being back—besides me?”

He sure is a part of being back. You expected to hide in Hope’s apartment, scraping together every cent you could while looking for long-term work and a new place to stay. You did not expect new friends, new places, or anything but hustle and panic to emerge from all this while hiding from anything that reminds you of your past.

This is nice, you think. 

But instead of, well, that, you smile brightly and say in a single breath, “Off-menu cheese fries with chopped bacon and grilled onions at a diner at 2 A.M.”

He gives you a look. “Sorry, what?”

You nod emphatically. “Side of thousand island dressing.”

“Does it specifically have to be 2 A.M.?”

“I mean,” you shrug, “that’s usually when I finish my third or fourth cocktail, which is when the carb cravings hit.”

He rolls his lips beneath his teeth, then purses them, pretending to think, and you get the treat of watching his mouth move. “I’m more of a 2 A.M. pizza guy.”

“If we’re talking a full meal, it has to be Chinese.”

“Pizza’s not a meal; it’s a snack.”

You shake your head. “You clearly don’t believe in yourself.”

He laughs. Again, it soars through the room better than any music, high and clear. “I believe in myself.”

Maybe a little too much, your mind finishes as you watch a glint pass through his eyes. Something’s about to happen. You can feel it: anticipation, a sparkling, yearning feeling like holding your breath before jumping into the pool.

His next smile is lopsided, and he leans forward, weight on his elbow on the bar. His head tips toward you, a loose wave of hair falling over his forehead. Lowering his voice like he’s sharing a secret, he ventures, “Think I can get a third cocktail in you so you can introduce me to— uh—”

You’re replying without needing to think about it. “Off-menu cheese fries with chopped bacon and grilled onions at a diner at—”

He checks the time on his phone. The slide of his eyes down, then back up to you is enticing in itself. “—8 P.M.?”

You shouldn’t.

Like, really, you shouldn’t. You’re less than a month after a breakup—and not just any breakup, but the kind that rips your heart out and runs it over with a garbage truck, then sets the remains on fire and throws them in the East River—and you’re not ready to risk your heart like that again.

What if you get attached? 

You’re not sure you remember what it feels like to be single. What if your heart latches onto the first guy that looks interested, and you faceplant in a sea of humiliation again? Garbage truck, flames, East River, etc.

But, maybe, saying yes to a random guy you just met is part of it. Maybe letting yourself laugh with a hot stranger over drinks and greasy fries is what it means to be single again, to let yourself learn to fly with the wings your ex preferred to keep clipped.

Something changes in you, quiet but resolute, and you forget why you were nervous in the first place. Just do it, you tell yourself. Be a little wild, have the kind of fun you missed out on.

“Okay,” you say as more laughter bursts behind you, but your world for this moment is only as large as the distance between you and Mat. A slow, hesitant smile spreads on your face. “Yeah, I’ll stay for another drink, and then I’ll show you what you’ve been missing.”

@barzygirl13 ♡ comment below or on the main post to be tagged please!

[tubbytarchia]

I’ve recently rewatched dl and I wanted to find out if you had any thoughts on Pearl and Scott’s dynamic.. (double life or general idm)

BOY DO I. SIT DOWN

I've talked lots about Scott before, of how he twists the narrative the most and treats most relationships more as transactional. I will now immediately follow that sentence up with dear god please don't assume I hate Scott he's so interesting and compelling PLEASE don't think I hate him I beg of you I LIKE HIM I don't think he's evil and a villain he's just a bit fucked up like everyone else PLEASE just. believe me

Me ^

Anyway now that that's out of the way. Scott I think has an innate need for connection but denies it in favor of weaving his own narrative that he is in control of, especially so in Third Life where to me, it feels like he sought out to find a tragic love story and he got exactly that, from his perspective anyway, what with the final sequence of him meeting Jimmy again in some imagined afterlife, the one part that was scripted and it shows. Love is a variable that he can't afford the risk of. I think the story with Jimmy that he weaved was more important to him than genuine affection. In Double Life he admits to having whittled Jimmy down to nothing in order to get something from him. But then along comes Last Life

In Last Life, whatever it was, something about Pearl really appealed to him if even subconsciously and he very genuinely cared about her imo. And that was a relationship that oddly enough started as purely transactional yet quickly developed into the most meaningful one I think Scott has had. Even when he faltered in returning Pearl's affection fully, Pearl didn't care and stood by him. Well exemplified by the time he kind of froze when Pearl was boogey killed by Lizzie, but Pearl didn't even think to hold his inaction against him. (Especially fun contrasted with Pearl accidentally breaking the rules in killing boogey Joel for killing Scott lol)

But all of that was the variable that Scott sought to avoid, so in Double Life he immediately uses what he can as an excuse to ostracize Pearl, almost as if to punish her for the crime of. loving? And I'm not about to claim that Pearl is wholly innocent but I'd argue that was unwarranted. Cleo and Scott are a great dynamic in a vacuum but unfortunately Cleo is also quite terrible (but then who isn't. It's a death game, they all are. Sorry I have to keep making these remarks because otherwise I get labelled a hater) and unfortunately fuels all the worst traits in Scott while Scott very readily sticks to her. They remain an encouraging pillar to Scott, it's just that the things being encouraged are like. Their ritual to slice each other with axes at full force just to stick it to Martyn and Pearl. Pearl often gets compared to Scott as equally physically harmful but idk personally I don't think the snow bucket compares to start-of-every-session-near-death-axe-crit routine. That's again not to say that she's innocent

Upon Scott spreading completely unfounded claims about her being crazy and malicious, she starts to adopt those claims. What else is she to do to get by? She has been nice to most players and nearly none of them want her around because of rumors despite her causing harm on accident at worst. She comes close to finally finding friends in Jimmy (Tango as well but mostly Jimmy), but ruins her chances by briefly playing into Martyn's "prank" and giving him Jimmy's horn without realizing it's importance to Jimmy, after which Jimmy tells her that she's no longer welcome on the ranch. She's effectively lost everyone and it is 90% due to Scott, not due to her actually acting the way she's claimed to as she only starts to go down that path after repeated rejection (sure she let herself be physically hurt to get at Scott, but it wasn't because of malice or having lost her mind, her doing so was reasonable anyhow but got twisted into something it wasn't. It's still wrong on her part and I do think she goes at least a bit insane as Scarlet Pearl surfaces, but the point is that she wasn't that when Scott started painting her that way)

Even in the very end, Scott retains control. He retained control of not only his narrative but contributed to most others' as well, painting Pearl as the exact character he wanted her to be known as in every POV outside of her own. And as they stand face to face as the last two survivors, Scott denies her any chance to change things, taking his own life instead whilst painting himself as noble in doing so

Scott is incredibly self-sacrificial but only when he gets something out of it, and because it allows him yet more control. He wants to be able to control when he dies, and he also gets to turn it into utmost grandiose statements of nobleness when he does, which then changes others' perception of him accordingly and directly or indirectly allows Scott to get something in exchange. His suicide in DL is no different, it was for him, not for Pearl

In Secret Life Scott also instils the idea of Pearl being untrustworthy in Gem

Wild Life. grrrr. Wild Life.............clenches fist. Pearl's personal hell

I think you can infer I was. scared to say the least about Pearl upon seeing her alliance in Wild Life. In the end though I ended up just being immensely sad and disappointed. Just about nothing worked out for Pearl, only for her trauma to be mocked repeatedly by Scott and Cleo

Pearl imo shows so many signs of regression, and she holds onto Impulse as the one member of her team that isn't actively taunting her, making it a goal for herself to see Impulse win, and it is that: for her, for anything to go her way, not so much for Impulse as much as she does genuinely care for him. She really doesn't spend that much time with him, she just needs a goal to work towards for her own sake. Pearl being unstable, untrustworthy and especially pathetic are all things that continue to get enforced within the alliance, where she's often spoken to like a ticking time bomb and the team's destructiveness gets relegated to her specifically. She recognizes not feeling good about it but she doesn't recognize everything that's at play in the social dynamics of their alliance or the extent of it

She becomes scared of people becoming resentful of her were she to make mistakes all the while Scott and Cleo start enabling her worst tendencies, aka Scarlet Pearl. They don't do this a large degree but they do make an explicit point of it, or at least Cleo does. Cleo is also however, if even vaguely, trying to mend the relationship between her and Pearl, where they occasionally encourage and defend her although it's not to a significant enough degree for Pearl to really realize. After Gem's death, Cleo is also there to help although Pearl is too distraught to appreciate it

While Gem's largely the catalyst for the "pathetic" notion that Pearl adopts to her detriment over the course of Wild Life, it only affects Pearl as strongly as it does due to her having gone through what she has, and because she's in a largely unloving alliance that fuels and reminds her of her wrongdoing. Just compare her mental state here to the one in Secret Life with the Mounders. Although it does have importance to her because she seeks reconciliation, she isn't allowed to forget about Double Life, she's not allowed to heal and grow around the grief of what's happened to her

And the final two notable incidents in her and Scott's relationship are 1. Her being made to feel like she needs to kill Scott, which she doesn't and ends up picking her own method of killing him to retain any semblance of choice, and 2. best summarized by my friend's Pearl POV analysis: "Scott is wearing my clothes. instead of villainizing me, our “reconciliation” has encouraged him to embrace the qualities he thinks I represent. he matches me, and we don’t talk about our past"

I state again that I like Scott, I like Cleo, I don't think they're evil or villains, at the very least in no cut-and-dry way. They're flawed and compelling and although I feel sad for Pearl and see Scott as largely at fault for what's happened to her, I care about Scott too and he's easily in the top 5 of most intricate Life characters to me that I enjoy dissecting

You know like. enjoying any character in any other fandom that is morally reprehensible in any way. I don't know why that's such a wild concept in traffic but sigh. I have to disclaim this unfortunately

[toasttt11]

reassurances

November 19, 2024

Mackenzie walked out of the bathroom after getting changed after practice and going out to lunch with Will and she tossed her other clothes into her suitcase and glanced at Will who was laying on the hotel bed they have been sharing in Dallas.

She bit her lip but grabbed his grey hoodie and slipped it on. Mackenzie walked over to the bed making Will glance over and his smile widened seeing her in his hoodie and he patted the spot next to him.

Mackenzie laid down next to him smiling as Will gently kissed her forehead as she rested her head on his chest and he began playing with the ends of her hair, “You look beautiful.” Will mumbled softly smiling as he saw her shift to hide her face in his chest knowing she is blushing.

Will clicked on the Blackhawks and Ducks game thinking Mackenzie would want to watch her best friend play.

He frowned feeling her tense slightly and he set his hand on her back softly rubbing circles wondering what is making her tense.

Mackenzie froze seeing the Ducks on the screen, specifically Jackson McCormick her ex boyfriend. She hasn’t turned on a Ducks game the past two seasons because she knew Jackson joined the Ducks halfway through last season.

Mackenzie closed her eyes feeling her heart speed up anxiously seeing Jackson’s face on the TV screen. Seeing him automatically ruins her mood and she hates how much she starts doubting things whenever she sees him, it’s like a part of him will always have his claws in her no matter what she does to try to get away.

Will didn’t know why Mackenzie was so tense but was worried about asking so he just gently rubbed her back and played with her hair for the first half of the period.

Mackenzie couldn’t stop being reminded of everything that Jackson did seeing him on the screen and it started making the doubts go again, what if Will treats her like him.

She quickly got rid of the thought because Will would never but than again she never thought Jackson would have either.

What if Will? Mackenzie couldn’t even finish that thought, “Will?” Mackenzie asked softly and Will softly hummed encouraging her to speak, “Are we exclusive?” Mackenzie bit her lip hoping Will doesn’t say no.

Will’s jaw dropped his face flashing with hurt at Mackenzie’s face, “Do you not want to be?” Will’s voice wavered.

Mackenzie’s eyes widened at his tone and she quickly sat up and looked at Will and grabbed one of his hands feeling Will grip onto her hand tightly.

Seeing his hurt and worried face, Mackenzie was only reassured that Will will never be like Jackson and Will never treat her like that.

“I do!” Mackenzie quickly reassured making Will let out a sigh of relief, “I just wanted to make sure we are on the same page.”

Will turned his head noticing the look on her face, “Hey there will never be anyone else, Your all i could ever want and need Mackenzie Celebrini.” Will softly reassured her placing a gentle kiss to her nose making her nose scrunch and she smiled softly at him.

“Why did you ask?” Will asked her gently wanting to know what made her ask.

Before she could ask they both heard the sound of bunch of whistles being blown on the TV and they both turned seeing Connor in a scrum with Ducks player, Jackson McCormick.

Mackenzie’s eyes widened in shock but not fully surprised as they showed the replays and Connor crossed checked him in the chest and shoved him into the boards.

“What is that about?” Will asked shocked, Connor doesn’t act like that.

“The Ducks player is the reason i asked you the question.” Mackenzie quietly spoke looking down at the bed as she fiddled with Will’s bracelets.

Will’s eyes slowly widened, He remembered at his draft when Mackenzie hide behind her when a Ducks player was walking by, “Did you date him?” Will asked calmly noticing her nervousness, he squeezed her hand softly.

Mackenzie softly nodded.

Will let go of her hand and she inhaled sharply quickly looking up worried but Will just smiled softly at her, “Come here baby.” Will held up his arm and Mackenzie quickly scrambled back to her spot and clung to Will’s side.

“You don’t need to tell me anything okay.” Will softly and quietly told her feeling her relax as he wrapped his arms around her and held her to him.

“I want to.” Mackenzie softly admitted she knew Will deserves to know some of what happened in her past relationship and she felt more comfortable telling him than anyone else.

“Okay what ever you want.” Will softly spoke.

“I dated him for over a year, i actually broke up with him just before i met you for the first time.” Mackenzie told him making him smile slightly and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head encouraging her to keep going.

“He was Aiden’s friend at Shattuck and that’s where we met.” Mackenzie explained taking a deep breath as Will rubbed her back gently.

“I was young and it was my first relationship, i didn’t realize how wrong everything he was doing, and how manipulative he was, i’m still trying to realize everything that he did wrong. The things he said to me and the way he treated my friends and my family was horrible.” Mackenzie voice was quiet but pretty steady as her eyes blinked back tears.

Will clenched his jaw hating that this boy had obviously hurt Mackenzie so much and treated her not how she deserves.

“Some things were so small i didn’t even realize what he was doing. It was like every thing i did he hated and had to let me know, my hair couldn’t be in certain style or i was ugly, i couldn’t wear a skirt because i was wanting attention, i couldn’t hug my friends without him accusing me of sleeping with them, he hated what i touched him and he immediately would call me clingy if i just touched his arm, i couldn’t even have sharky on my bed without him calling me childish.” Mackenzie tearfully ranted out clinging onto Will.

“Oh baby.” Will mumbled frowning deeply, “Look at me please darling.” Will asked softly making Mackenzie look up at him her chin resting on his chin as her eyes were filled with tears.

“It was not your fault you were treated like that.” Will firmly said to her holding her cheeks in his hands, “You can wear your hair in any style or buzz it off because it is your hair and it’s your choice and you will still look just as beautiful to me, you can wear whatever you want and if some stupid person looks at you because your absolutely stunning i’ll be right by your side making them look away because it’s there fault not yours, you can hug every single one of your friends because they are your friends and you love them no one should ever stop you from doing that, i promise you i won’t ever stop you from doing that. Baby you can touch me whenever you want i will never say no to that and if you want to be clingy please do, Sharky is awesome and he’s more than welcomed on the bed as long as he doesn’t mind me sharing you.” Will passionately spoke looking in her eyes as he did.

Mackenzie sniffled as Will’s thumbs gently wiped her tears away, She let out a small fond laugh at Will’s last words, “Thank you.” Mackenzie mumbled not knowing how much she needed to hear those words.

“Don’t thank me. This is just the minimal of what you deserve.” Will firmly but softly said back to her.

“That’s why i asked if we were exclusive, when i uh broke up with him he told me we were never exclusive because i didn’t sleep with him, he was seeing multiple other girls.” Mackenzie told Will the full truth that she hasn’t told anyone else.

“That bastard.” Will cursed angrily, He knew what he would be don’t when they played the Ducks next.

“I promise you it’s just me and you, there will never be anyone else no matter. If you never want to sleep with me that is more than okay, i’m your boyfriend because i like you a lot Mackenzie not to only sleep with you.” Will firmly reassured her making her softly nod.

“Do you want to talk about more or another day?” Will gently asked not wanting to push her.

“Another day?” Mackenzie asked softly and Will easily smile and nodded.

Will pressed a kiss to her forehead, “One second.” Will gently untangled form Mackenzie and quickly crossed the room to her bag and grabbed her shark stuff animal making Mackenzie’s eyes soften even more and smile.

Will smiled silly as he gently shook the shark as he walked back to bed making her giggle slightly.

Will got back into the bed and Mackenzie immediately clung to his side making him smile as he handed her stuff animal and she cuddled with her shark and Will at the same time.

“I’ve got you.” Will promised gently kissing the crown of her head.

And Mackenzie truly believed Will’s words.

[atwhughesversion]

so, because he had the audacity to joke about the media, vancouver media have taken it upon themselves to gather like vultures and run a petey smear campaign today. i’d just like to remind everybody that this is elias pettersson:

If you chat with teammates in the Canucks locker room about Pettersson the person, what you hear is remarkably consistent: He’s a quiet guy, very mature, very humble, very respectful. What you also learn is that he cares a great deal about people. “He understands that there’s a bigger picture outside of hockey,” says Brock Boeser, Pettersson’s best friend on the team. Boeser went through a trying 2019 while his father faced a recurrence of cancer. He says Pettersson checks in frequently to see how his friend is faring. “He always makes sure I’m doing well,” says Boeser. “He really cares.”

Canucks head coach Travis Green is well aware of the empathy that his star player possesses. He was touched when Pettersson mentioned Jason Botchford in his Calder Trophy acceptance speech at the NHL Awards in June. The popular Vancouver sportswriter died in late April at age 48. When Green invited Botchford’s widow, Kathryn, and her three children to a game, the coach watched Pettersson embrace them during a locker-room tour.

“He was touched that they were there. I know it affected him. He cares about life and people that are affected by hardship. Obviously, [Jason’s] wife and his kids are really affected by what happened. It was just touching, for me, to see how Petey reacted when he saw them.

[David Singh, Sportsnet]

Pettersson was a bit banged up and didn’t take part in the morning skate that day. He wasn’t going to do media that morning and that was unfortunate and made me feel like my story was going to be missing a key piece of hearing from a player about Botch.

Then, Pettersson heard that I was there for the Botchford Project and that my story was about Jason and his impact on the market. Pettersson graciously opened up in a one-on-one format with me and said that he enjoyed the story that I was trying to tell about Jason.

[Chris Faber, NHL]

What I personally don’t want to see is a downgraded version of his personality. I want to see him continue to say how he feels and to give honest answers.

In short, Pettersson’s personality is far from being a problem. His teammates absolutely adore him, and much like two fellow Swedes who recently left the team, he leads by example.

[David Quadrelli, The Canuck Way]

“He’s a pretty quiet guy, like a lot of Swedes,” Edler said. “You can tell that he’s very serious. He wants to get better. He cares. He wants to learn. He’s a good guy.”

Underneath that quiet shell is immense focus, said Edler.

“I think like everyone else … he likes to compete, to play in every situation. I think him, and maybe myself too, you might not see it on the outside, but it’s there on the inside.”

[Patrick Johnston, The Province]

[cuteandhughesy]

3. “we really shouldn’t” “so?” with anthony stolarz

he def seems like the type of guy who’d be ur brothers teammate and you’d sleep with him behind ur brothers back 😶

prompt no.3: “we really shouldn’t.” “so?”

your brother mitch has always been protective. you’re his younger sister, two years younger than him, and have always been super kind and naive. from a young age, he saw the way people took advantage of you and felt that it was his responsibility to keep you safe.

when you got a bit older and started dating, mitch’s protectiveness got worse. no boy was good enough, even when they were. mitch would drive boys away with menacing looks and what he called ‘stern talkings’ which are also known as threats.

eventually when you convinced your brother to chill the fuck out a little bit and let you work things out on your own, he surprisingly agreed.

under one circumstance.

you can’t date his friends, and you certainly can’t date his teammates. ever.

and you could live with that. most of mitch’s friends where your friends, and you didn’t see them that way. and when mitch started getting more serious about hockey, he barley went out or had his teammates come over, so you never even met them. steph would ask all the time if you wanted to come to games, but you weren’t really interested.

“maybe you’ll find a guy,” she used to tease, winking at you discreetly in the dim light of the living room.

you always responded the same way, “im not into hockey players.”

when mitch made it to the nhl, you started going to games more often. you got to drink beers that mitch was paying for, and chat with steph about school and boys without the prying ears of your brother and your family.

as the years passed, mitch never strayed from his dating rule or protectiveness over you.

you never planned on rebuking mitch’s dating rule until anthony stolarz waltzed into toronto with a summer tan and a perfect smile. he’s older than you, mature but doesn’t take himself too seriously. anthony introduced himself to you with a playful and intriguing gleam, and it instantly has you feeling things.

and your sister-in-law knows it too, because anytime mitch brings up anthony or the net minder is in the same room as you, she’s wiggling her brows at you and grinning. you hate her.

and it’s fine, you think. it’s just a stupid crush on a new, older man. you’ll get over it. it’s not reciprocated.

expect it’s totally reciprocated, and after too many glasses of wine and a private bathroom at some bar after a win, you and anthony begin hook up. and it doesn’t just end there. you have sex often, and kiss and go on dates even more frequently.

you find yourself in a secret relationship, and at the same time, betraying your older brother. slowly it becomes harder to keep a secret, and the people in your life start noticing.

it starts with steph who just knows you too well. she straight up just asks you, and you blurt it out like you physically can’t hold it in any longer. steph smirked and said, ‘I fucking knew it.’

next came auston matthews, one of mitch’s closest friends and teammates, walks in on your and anthony making out like teenagers in a guest bathroom. to be fair, you didn’t look the door. and it was also auston’s house. you rushed out after the goal scorer, lips glistening and eyes frantic, begging him not to say anything.

auston just laughed and said, ‘don’t worry kid, your secret is safe with me.’

your parents knew, and your closest friends knew (mostly leaf wags who you sworn to secrecy). it started to feel more real, and you certainly got more comfortable.

so yeah you may of had four too many beers at the game. and yeah, when you see your boyfriend walking out of the leafs dressing room, looking divine after a win, you just want to normal and go up to your boyfriend.

it wasn’t uncommon for you to wait in the tunnels with steph for mitch after games, especially when you’ve all driven to the rink together. anthony would always smile at you, a little too sexy for trying to be discrete, but you never pushed those boundaries. not when mitch could walk out.

but once again, you’re well passed tipsy and you just want to live up on your man like all the other wags get to. before you can think about it, you’re walking up to anthony, heels clicking on the floor as you make your way through the crowd.

anthony’s talking to morgan, completely unaware of the way your striding towards him until you’re right in front of him. you wrap your hand around his bicep, blinking up at him with a glossed over expression.

“hi,” you beam, glossy lips tempting.

anthony swallows, eyes squinting in amusement. he shoots a glance at morgan, who is just stifling laughter like he knows—god damn it tessa. “hi,” he parrots.

“missed you,” you whine, pushing up onto the toe of your heeled boots and pucker your lips, “can I have a kiss?”

anthony laughs, rubbing the back of his neck and subtly scanning the room—checking if anyone was watching. morgan has slipped away now, and there’s only a few lingering people left in the tunnel. he sees steph, eyeing you both sneakily. which means mitch is still here.

“we really shouldn’t.” he mumbles. despite his words, anthony lets his hand wrap around your waist, keeping you against his chest to steady your drink sway. he licks along his bottom lip, “your brother could catch us.”

“so?” you huff, pushing even further up his body. “just a quick kiss.” you say. you’re too happy on wine and in love to think about your brothers stupid rule right now. you couldn’t care less about anything besides your gigantic boyfriend—who is grinning down at you like you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

and you are. more than the nhl. more than the stanley cup. more than breathing.

quickly, anthony leans down, free hand enclosing on the side of your face as he tilts your head up, connecting your lips together.

the kiss doesn’t last nearly as long as you need it to, and you whine when anthony pulls off of you. you’re not caught, thankfully, and that only makes you want to kiss him over and over again.

“i’ll see you later, kay?” anthony whispers softly, talking his hand off your hips.

you nod, taking your bottom lip between your teeth and dropping back down to your heels. “love you.”

“love you too.”

—

(unedited)

[tiktaaliker]

i aaamm curious about your blaseball guys,,,,, yap away

OH HI HELLO YES. OHIO WORMS.

so. um. a very important thing to know about the ohio worms is that they sucked so bad and had the worst luck imaginable. when the team first joined the league our players were so awful that we managed a partytime speedrun (aka we set a record for being mathematically eliminated from thr playoffs the quickest. and that record was never beaten. go worms!). I could go into more detail about this because i personally find it REALLY fascinating and the worms rotten luck is part of why i love the team so much, but I'll spare you from the essay on mathematically proving that the sim hated the worms, and for now and talk about other stuff lol

another very important detail about the ohio worms is that in blaseball this -> 🐌 is a worm. Out of keyfabe this was because the actual worm emoji wasnt available to all devicies. In keyfabe this is because the Comissioner doesnt know what a snail is

ANYWAYS. Heres some of the guys from the ohio worms that i think about a lot c:

^ old art but i still like it. pictured left to right is lenny crumb, scratch deleuze, and patchwork southwick

Lenny Crumb is usually depicted as a snail or worm with a pastry for a shell! He's one of our original players from when the Worms first joined blaseball. He was our first in rotation, and hit a home run at our first ever at-bat! If you've listened to the legend of lenny crumb from the garages world tour album, its about this guy c:

Scratch Deleuze is another worms original. Usually depicted as an opossum. I love scratch so much its unreal. Scratch was one of our best batters and was really widely beloved among worms fans (including me). She actually spent a really long time elsewhere; i think she might hold the record for most irl time stuck elsewhere, if not then it was def up there. She also got the cluttered mod in one of the later seasons, which worked GREAT because we had the filithiest stadium BY FAR and the mod made her play better in stadiums with high Filth levels. Also her pregame ritual was eating spaghetti <3

PATCHWORK SOUTHWICK MY BELOVEDDDDD. i have an unhealthy obsession with mediocre pitchers in blaseball and patchwork was the best of them. So without getting too in depth on player stats and fk stats and all that stuff because it was REALLY complex, but the main thing thats relevant here is the ruthlessness stat. Ruthlessness was a stat that impacted how often a pitcher throws strikes instead of balls. It was EXTREMELY important and every really good pitcher in blaseball (at least up through mid-expansion before i thiiink stats got reworked a bit and ruth wasnt as important anymore) had a maximum ruth. Patchwork meanwhile was EXTREMELY fascinating because their ruthlessness was jusssst good enough to make them a viable pitcher but also shitty enough to make any game they pitched in the most dire and stressful experience imaginable. Patchwork liked to load up the bases with walks and then strike out three batters in a row. Practically every noteworthy game in worms history had Patchwork as the pitcher. A running joke in the ohio worms was "I WANT TO GET OFF PATCHWORK SOUTHWICK'S WILD RIDE" for a reason. I love themmmm and i personality hc them as a scarecrow being possessed by a committee of ghosts c:

^ more old art lol. Kaz Fiasco and Pitching Machine

Kaz Fiasco waz an original worm who is commonly depicted as a mothman-adjacent creature. When the glitter weather first started appearing (which had a chance for players to randomly received items. Kaz got 2 hats which he had on at the same time. Iirc i think his first hat he got in the first ever glitter game in the entire league! He ended up being feedback'd over to the Sunbeams in exhange for Iggy Delacruz (riv), which i think was extremely fitting. I personally headcanon that the only recipe that Kaz is able to make is party cheese salad, and I would go into other teams channels temporarily just so i could let them know about this whenever kaz joined a new team.

Pitching Machine is not an original worm by technically. During the first election Worms were a part of after being part of the league for less than a full season, we somehow ended up with Pitching Machine (REALLY good pitcher, extremely popular, involved in Major Plot Events) which is great! ....except with the way trading worked, PM ended up in our batting roation. Surprisingly enough, Pitching Machine was also a pretty good Batting Machine! PM was a beloved worm to the point where we intentionally wasted a will during one election to steal it from ourselves (long story). The song Not That Bad by the garages (also on the world tour album) is about pitching machine's time on the worms c:

I actually have quite a few more ohio worms players i want to talk about, but honestly i'd need to dedicate an enire post JUST for vess sundae and roz darkness, my two all time favorite blaseball players ever, and also its almost 1 am and i have work tomorrow. but i can and will talk more about blorbos from my splorts later

[phightingheadcanons]

eurrmm BOARDGAME HEADCANONS !!

this is long-ish and I feel like my typing style will be recognised. hi if you recognise me

Chess -Vinestaff sucks at chess. this is mostly because she gets the pieces movement mixed up, and Shuriken doesn't correct her (she's just like me fr) -Shuriken is actually GREAT at chess!!! he tries to lose to Vine sometimes to make her feel better about her skills though (: -The Cult has three player chess. it always ends badly, and usually with injuries.

Monopoly -Sword and Rocket are bad to be paired up against in Monopoly. they will work together to win. -Medkit ALONE is worse than Sword and Rocket when it comes to Monopoly. -Broker is banned from playing Monopoly. This was Scythe's decision after finding out that he cheated in some way almost every game. -Valk is crazy competitive in Monopoly. this does not mean he's good.

Snap -Katana has great reaction time, but sucks at Snap. -don't play Snap with Boombox and Valk your ears will be destroyed. -Skateboard is one of the best Snap players you will ever meet in the Inpherno.

Jenga -do not play Jenga against Subspace. do not. you WILL lose. -Medkit was the only person in the entirety of Blackrock who could go up against Subspace in Jenga and not lose. -Coil and Skateboard play Jenga wrong. just search up "cursed jenga" that's what comes out of their games. -Out of all the demi-deities, Dom has the longest Jenga winstreak

Uno -Slingshot is insanely lucky in Uno. this guy has so many +2s and whatnot in his hand every game. -Dom sucks at Uno. -Banhammer is way too competitive for Uno. Windforce is worse. -If you played Uno with Darkheart, he'd probably mix regular, No Mercy, and Flip decks. good luck.

Bonus: Despite what one may think, Venomshank enjoys Cards Against Humanity. in fact, the only deity to not enjoy it is Illumina, who dislikes pretty much every game.

"HOOOLYY I LOVE THOSE MAN. THIS IS AWESOMEEE"

[bancaishi]

dungeons and dragons: honor among thieves was so good, and [pointing to the, like, 2-5 followers who see and like my text posts] you should watch it

[whatudottu]

Me and the homies I dragged into playing ISAT with me (voice over style) and thus thoroughly infecting them with the ISAT hyperfixation gathered to play poker and so- drew us VAs as the cast give or take some liberties :P